Summerslam 2003
Date: August 24, 2003
Location: America West Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 16,113
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Another year another Summerslam and yet again the company has changed. Tonight we have a double main event with a Wrestlemania rematch of Lesnar vs. Angle II for the Smackdown Title and an Elimination Chamber match for the Raw Title. 2003 was split down the middle in quality as Raw was atrocious and Smackdown was some of the best television in company history. It’s always interesting to see the two shows come together. Let’s get to it.

The US Marine Corps presents the American flag while Lillian sings the Star Spangled Banner.

The opening video talks about how there is evil in this world and the Chamber tonight will prove it.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleyz are challenging and the EVIL foreigners are Rene Dupree and Sylvain Grenier. Bubba of course comes out with an American flag to hammer in the face status. The whole patriotism thing was a big deal in this feud as the third member of La Resistance, an American named Rob Conway, pretended to be a soldier to sneak up on the Dudleyz. It’s a brawl to start in the aisle with the challengers in full control.

D-Von chokes Dupree with the robe to start before armbarring Grenier down. A slam and a legdrop gets two on Sylvain and it’s off to Bubba for the power brawling. He puts Grenier in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch to make the French guy scream. The Dudleys clear the ring but Grenier gets in a cheap shot to give the champions control on Bubba. A double shoulder puts Bubba down for two as the USA chant starts up.

Back to Dupree for a bearhug, which isn’t often a move you see on a fat man like Bubba. Some headbutts break up hold but Bubba walks into a spinebuster for two. Bubba punches his way over to the hot tag (four minutes into the match) and D-Von cleans house. A rollup gets two on Grenier as everything breaks down. D-Von walks into a double spinebuster for two but it’s What’s Up to Dupree. The 3D lays out Dupree but Grenier makes save. Now a cameraman lays out D-Von with a camera to the head to retain the titles. It’s Rob Conway of course.

Rating: D+. That’s a pretty lame choice for an opener. Not only did the fans not get what they wanted but the match sucked as well. This was a dark time for the tag team division and there was no reason at all for there to be two sets of titles at this point. At the end of the day there wasn’t nearly enough depth and it made for lame matches like this. The Dudleys would get the belts next month.

Spike tries to run in for the save but Conway lays him out with the camera. Conway hasn’t been named here but I think the spoiler is ok at this point.

Coach says La Resistance was clever so Bubba accuses him of being anti-American and vows to get the belts back.

Eric Bischoff is warming up when Intercontinental Champion Christian comes up. He wants to know why he isn’t on the show but Bischoff blames Co-GM Steve Austin. Christian isn’t pleased but offers to be in Eric’s corner for his match later. Bischoff says he has his own plan and won’t answer what happens in the bedroom with Linda. Eric says he’ll tell everyone later.

We recap A-Train vs. Undertaker. A-Train (Tensai) is working for Vince who is in a semi-war with Taker, setting up tonight’s match. This would evolve into a bigger war soon enough.

Undertaker vs. A-Train

A-Train comes out with Vince’s mistress Sable and Undertaker has bad ribs. Feeling out process to start with A-Train grabbing a few headlocks for early control. Taker hits a quick Russian legsweep for two and he cranks on the arm to set up Old School. The second attempt works a bit better and Taker stays on the arm. A big boot misses and Taker falls out to the floor, reinjuring the ribs.

A-Train starts pounding away on the ribs and sends them into the barricade for two back in the ring. Taker gets in some shots to the ribs of his own for a breather but A-Train comes back with an impressive suplex to take him down. This is the kind of character A-Train was perfect as: a heavy who could do some impressive moves at times. A-Train fights out of a sleeper with a belly to back suplex but Taker hits a quick Snake Eyes to get a breather. A big boot misses the big bald head and a double clothesline puts each other down.

Taker wins a slugout after A-Train hung in there a lot longer than expected. Now the big boot sets up the legdrop (BROTHER) for two and another legdrop to the back of the head with A-Train on the apron has the bald one staggered. The Last Ride is easily broken up but the referee is bumped.

A-Train hits the Derailer (chokebomb) but the delayed count only gets two. Taker accidentally clotheslines the referee down again (the second match does NOT warrant two ref bumps) and A-Train brings in a chair, only to have it cracked over his own head for a near fall. A-Train escapes a tombstone but gets caught in a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting out of this match? This was back when Taker was pretty bad in the ring due to being completely unmotivated and bored with the biker character. Thankfully he would be the Dead Man again by Wrestlemania and would eventually reignite his career around 2007.

Post match Sable tries to seduce Taker for some reason but Stephanie comes in to go after her, presumably setting up a mixed tag.

Coach polls some fans on who wins the Chamber.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff. Shane was feuding with Kane but Bischoff stopped them from fighting. Austin made Bischoff vs. Shane for that night but Kane interfered and cost Shane the match (he later tied Shane to the steps and electrocuted his testicles. It was stupid back then and it’s even worse now. This is what I had to deal with people).

Later, Bischoff caused JR to nearly be lit on fire, so Austin had to prevent a lawsuit by making Kane vs. Bischoff but Kane walked away for some reason, giving Bischoff the win by countout. This was a qualifying match for a Summerslam match with Kane, making our match tonight. Then Bischoff went to Linda’s house and pinned her arm behind her back and kissed her against her will.Think that’s enough to set up this match?

Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff

Before the match, Eric implies that he screwed Linda several times over that night. This brings out Shane to send Eric into the corner for a beating. Crossface punches send Bischoff to the floor but Shane clotheslines him in the back of the head. Back to ringside and Shane breaks the referee’s count (sidebar: why doesn’t that happen when both guys are on the floor and one guy slides back in at the last second?) before kicking away at Shane even more.

Bischoff is sent into the announce table and stomped down, only to have Coach come in with a chair and turning heel by helping Bischoff. The referee says ring the bell but Bischoff makes it No DQ and falls count anywhere. Shane is sent into the steps for two as Coach is playing the enforcer here. He holds Shane as Bischoff tells the production truck to turn off JR and King’s microphones so Coach can do commentary.

Bischoff starts firing off kicks as Coach does the eternally annoying JR impersonation. This keeps going for awhile until Shane gets in a right hand, only to be dropped by a low blow from Coach. Cue Steve Austin who can’t fight unless physically provoked. Shane shoves Coach into Austin which is enough for the beating to begin. Austin and Shane stomp Coach down in the corner and clear the ring. Austin has the mics turned back on as Shane grabs Eric’s hand and uses it to slap Austin’s face, meaning Austin can Stun Bischoff. That’s not good enough or Shane so he puts Eric on the table for the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was a long segment instead of a match. Also to recap how stupid things were at this point, we’re supposed to be interested in Austin/Shane vs. Coach/Bischoff when Austin has equal power to Eric. We also have Stephanie vs. Sable, because EVERYONE wants to see the McMahons dominating the show. This is in addition to Evolution dragging Raw down the drain with the Kevin Nash and Goldberg feuds. See why 2003 is considered so bad?

Wrestlemania moment. Kind of an odd time for one of these but Shawn superkicking Bret was an awesome moment.

We see Kevin Nash getting ready. JR: “Nash is a street fighter at heart.” I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile.

Flair and HHH tell Orton to keep the title on the Game tonight and nothing more.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

We recap Brock Lesnar destroying Zack Gowen on Smackdown (good for him). Lesnar had him COVERED in blood and rubbed the blood on his own chest. Gowen had his leg broken in two places so he couldn’t face Matt Hardy tonight. Matt declared himself the winner on Heat like a good heel would.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar. Angle lost to Brock in the main event of Wrestlemania, leading to Vengeance where Angle pinned Lesnar in a three way to get the title back. The two of them became best friends and friendly rivals, leading to Brock wanting a rematch. Vince said no, but if Lesnar can beat Vince in a cage with Angle as referee, he can have the shot. Before the match, someone attacked Brock and laid him out with a concussion. Brock popped up and turned on Angle, revealing that he’s working for Vince as the new heavy and getting the title shot for tonight. Vince called this the REAL Brock Lesnar.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending of course. Brock shoves him in the corner to show off the power so Angle starts getting lower. They hit the technical stuff on the mat but Brock escapes into a standoff. Brock quickly takes him down with a headscissors but it’s Angle escaping to another stalemate. Lesnar shoves him around with the power so Angle leverages him into the corner and says bring it on. Some quick armdrags send Brock out to the floor and various things are destroyed in frustration.

Lesnar picks up the belt and tries to walk out with it but Kurt pounds him down in the aisle to start the brawling. Back in and Angle snaps off the first overhead belly to belly for two before stomping him down in the corner. Brock comes right back with a gorilla press and throws Angle out to the floor. Angle is sent into the steps as this is far different from the Wrestlemania match. Back in and Brock hits a release belly to belly without leaving his feet.

Angle slips out of another gorilla press and gets two off an O’Connor Roll, only to walk into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. We hit the rear naked choke on Angle which is turned into a bodyscissors. Angle fights up but runs into a knee to the ribs to put him right back down. Kurt is pounded into the corner but grabs a rollup for two, only to be clotheslined back down. The story of this match isn’t working as well as their first fight. This is much more of a traditional wrestling match with good vs. evil and that’s not what these two are best at.

Lesnar comes right back with something like a Muscle Buster for two, followed up by shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Brock sends him into the corner to stay on the ribs and back before firing off more shoulders in the corner. Angle finally moves to avoid a charge, sending Brock shoulder first into the post. A dropkick takes Brock’s knee out and Angle rolls some Germans for a close two. Brock comes back with an overhead belly to belly of his own but Angle pops up and tries the Slam, only to be countered into a spinebuster for a close two. The fans are into this match.

Angle counters an F5 into a DDT and both guys are down. A delayed cover gets two for the champion and there go the straps. The Angle Slam connects but Brock is up at two as per tradition. In one of my favorite moments, Angle puts the straps up so he can take them back down, firing himself up even more. There’s the ankle lock but Brock makes a rope. Angle pulls him back so the rope doesn’t count in a questionable call, so Lesnar rolls out, bumping the referee in the process.

Lesnar sends him into the corner and Angle tries a sunset flip but stops before going down, wrapping his legs around Brock’s neck in a choke before putting on another ankle lock. Lesnar eventually taps but there’s no referee so here’s Vince with a chair to Angle’s back to break the hold. Brock gets to his one good foot and hits a pretty awesome one legged F5 for a delayed two. Vince demands another F5 but Angle counters into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope but again Angle pulls him to the middle for no break. Brock grabs all four bottom ropes but the referee doesn’t break it, forcing Brock to tap out.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but the ending never worked for me. At the end of the day, if you touch the ropes the hold is supposed to be broken. That’s wrestling 101, but for some reason it doesn’t count at the end of this match. The match was good but it was overbooked when you have these two being able to own whatever ring they’re in. The Vince stuff was annoying but that’s what you have to expect in WWE.

Post match Vince tries to jump Angle again but gets Angle Slammed through a chair for his efforts. And on Vince’s birthday too.

Goldberg is listening to an iPod to get ready. That’s such a wrong image.

Some Arizona Diamondbacks are here.

We recap Kane vs. RVD. They had been friends and tag champions but Kane lost a match to HHH, forcing him to unmask. This unleashed Kane’s inner demons for the 10^th time or so, turning him into a psycho who lit JR on fire. Kane swore everyone was laughing at him even though RVD told him everything was fine. Kane beat up RVD in a match and tombstoned Linda McMahon on a stage to start his feud with Shane, leading to a rematch with Rob here tonight.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Fink says this is No Holds Barred. So does that make Kane Zeus? JR calls Kane an inbred mongrel dog, which isn’t that high up on his list of sayings. Van Dam fires off right hands to start but Kane takes him to the floor with a few uppercuts. Kane charges into a boot and gets kicked in the face to put the monster down. Kane easily slugs him down and pulls out a ladder. Van Dam manages to smash the end of it to drive the ladder into Kane’s face, only to have Rolling Thunder caught by the throat.

RVD kicks out of the chokeslam but gets knocked out to the floor as the brawl continues. Kane sends him into the steps and is in full on monster mode. Back in and Van Dam scores with a kick and some shoulders to the ribs for two. Rob goes up top but gets shoved down onto the barricade to give Kane control again. A ladder to the face gets two back in the ring and a big clothesline puts Van Dam down again.

We hit the slow motion part of the match as Kane pounds on Van Dam very slowly to stop the crowd from being interested. Van Dam is backdropped to the floor but Kane badly botches the top rope clothesline, nearly falling on his head and dying. Kane avoids another ladder shot and DDTs Van Dam on he floor, only to have Rob catch a charging Kane in a drop toehold to send him face first into the steps. Kane is kicked into the crowd and crotched as he tries to come back to ringside.

Van Dam’s spin kick off the apron puts Kane down again as this match just keeps going. Back in and Rolling Thunder onto the chair crushes Kane but Rob can’t follow up. Kane sits up but gets caught by a Van Daminator. Rob loads up the Van Terminator but Kane rolls away at the last second. They head to the floor and Kane tombstones Rob onto the steps, killing him dead for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was an ok brawl but it went on WAY too long. At the end of the day this was just a rest stop on the way to Kane vs. Shane next month which was probably the more interesting feud anyway. The match was Van Dam trying his best but not being able to keep Kane down. It certainly wasn’t a squash but it wasn’t many steps above one.

Eric is annoyed that Terri is asking him questions. Linda comes in and slaps Bischoff in the face.

HHH looks at the world title.

The Chamber is lowered.

We recap the world title match. There isn’t much to this other than HHH is injured and can’t fight Goldberg one on one so we get an Elimination Chamber instead. Goldberg is in for obvious reasons, Jericho and Nash have been feuding lately, Orton is there to give HHH a hand and Shawn is there for past issues with HHH. This gets the music video treatment, set to St. Anger by Metallica.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Goldberg vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

After about 12 minutes of entrances we start with Shawn vs. Jericho, who will go for three minutes. After that time is up, a pod will open to release another wrestler. Three more minutes and another pod opens. This repeats until everyone is in and it’s last man standing wins. Eliminations can occur at any time and have to take place in the ring, not on the cage floor outside the ring next to the pods. They trade hammerlocks to start until Jericho rolls through a cross body for two.

They trade chain wrestling moves into a pinfall reversal sequence as the fans chant for Goldberg. Back up and Shawn slaps him in the face before backdropping him down. Jericho’s Walls attempt is countered into a small package for two but Jericho comes back with a bulldog to take Shawn down. JR screws up the world title continuity by saying the title has only changed hands once in Phoenix, but that’s the other world title. Not that it matters to WWE but they make such a big deal about the continuity that it’s worth pointing out.

Anyway Orton is #3 and gets two off a high cross to Shawn. Michaels is clotheslined to the cage floor but he comes back in to pound away on Jericho. Randy dropkicks him down and stomps Jericho down against the ropes but can’t RKO Shawn. Instead Orton is sent to the cage floor by a combined effort, only to have Jericho put Shawn in the Walls. Kevin Nash is in at #4 to make the save and go after Jericho as Shawn and Orton brawl in the ring. Jericho’s face is rubbed against the cage to give us our first blood.

Nash (with short blonde hair here for a movie) cleans house but walks into a superkick into a rollup for the pin by Jericho. Nash was in there about two minutes or so. HHH is #5 but Shawn superkicks him before he can get out of the pod to make sure the injured champion doesn’t have to do much. Nash lays out Jericho, Orton and Shawn with Jackknives, leaving everyone down for a massive dead spot. Shawn is busted as well.

They finally get back up to slug it out as JR talks about Oklahoma for no apparent reason. Here’s Goldberg at #6 to FINALLY wake the crowd up a bit. He cleans house and clotheslines Jericho and Shawn down before spearing Orton down for the pin, leaving us with four. Jericho hits a quick missile dropkick for two on Goldberg but he launches Chris into the cage to put him back down.

Goldberg sends Shawn into the corner before spearing Jericho through the glass pod. Goldberg is dazed though, allowing Shawn to drop the elbow to set up Sweet Chin Music. This is Goldberg though so the kick is blocked by a spear and the Jackhammer gets us down to three. A quick spear and Jackhammer to Jericho leaves us with HHH vs. Goldberg. HHH is still in the pod as he’s been in the match for about six minutes now and literally hasn’t done anything.

Flair shoves the pod door closed to save HHH so Goldberg kicks the pod door in so we can actually have a match. Goldberg pounds away in the pod before sending HHH face first into the cage. The champion is busted open but he FINALLY gets in a kick to the leg and sends Goldberg into the cage. Goldberg comes right back with a clothesline and they head into the ring. The spear is loaded up but hits the sledgehammer that Flair slid in, keeping the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work very well and the ending sums up everything wrong with Raw in 2003. The fans were primed for a Goldberg title win, HHH was injured and had no business being in the match anyway, Goldberg dominated the match, HHH literally hit two offensive moves in ten minutes of match time, but HHH uses the sledgehammer to retain the title. Yeah Goldberg got the title a month later, but THIS is the match people remember because THIS is the big show. HHH wins at the big show, the monster wins the next month at the B show. Does this sound familiar to fans in 2013?

As for the rest of the match, there’s nothing going on here. It’s less than twenty minutes long from bell to bell and the three minute intervals really hold this down. No one had time to do anything, making it more like the 1995 Rumble than anything else. It’s just not very good and the ending sucked whatever life it had out of the match. Again, 2003 Raw just wasn’t that good and this match sums up why.

Post match HHH and Evolution gets to destroy Goldberg again with the hammer to really pound in who is the star. Goldberg is handcuffed to the cage so HHH can shove the belt in his face and remind him who the champion is to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There’s some good stuff on here but the HHH factor drags it down again. I’ve said this a lot tonight but 2003 just wasn’t a good year overall. It’s a bunch of matches and feuds that people don’t want to see but we have the same McMahon nonsense over and over again because WWE is their playground and they can do whatever they like. Over on Raw HHH gets to keep the title FOREVER despite being hurt and having beasts like Benoit and Guerrero waiting in the wings to be the next guys. Did they pan out in the end? No, but at this point no one knew that was the case and HHH got the title as a result.

Ratings Comparison

La Resistance vs. Dudley Boyz

Original: C

Redo: D+

A-Train vs. Undertaker

Original: D

Redo: D

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Original: D

Redo: N/A

Tajiri vs. Rhyno vs. Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B-

Redo: B+

Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A-

Redo: B

Rob Van Dam vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Goldberg vs. HHH vs. Kevin Nash vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton

Original: D

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: C

So I liked almost all of the matches more or the same the first time, but the overall rating is much higher this time. Not surprising.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/06/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2003-brock-vs-angle-ii/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $5 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books as low as $4 at:

Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

The main story coming into this show would be the Brand Split but that’s not really an issue here as the main four PPVs weren’t brand exclusive. As for the show itself it’s another double main event with Rock defending his WWE (yeah E) Title against a beast named Brock Lesnar and the returning Shawn Michaels fighting his best friend HHH in a street fight. This is considered one of the best shows of all time so hopefully it holds up. Let’s get to it.

There’s no opening video this year for some reason.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey beat Angle in a tag match and has been an annoyance for him lately. This is right after Mysterio debuted as part of probably the best year for new talent in company history. In 2002 WWE got Mysterio, Brock Lesnar, Batista, Randy Orton and a guy named Cena. This is when Rey’s knees weren’t held together by glue so it should be awesome. Rey comes in from behind and takes Angle down with a quick springboard dropkick but he has to go to the ropes to escape the ankle lock. An early 619 attempt misses and Angle pulls him to the floor. Very fast start.

Angle kicks at the leg as they come back in. An uppercut staggers Rey and a wheelbarrow suplex puts him down. Rey grabs the rope to avoid a German and gets a quick two off a rollup. Kurt gets two off a backbreaker and bends Rey’s back around the ropes. The fans are all over Angle but he shrugs off some forearms and catches a headscissors into a side slam for two.

Off to a wicked half crab on Rey but he somehow sneaks out and gets two off a rollup. Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline, only to get caught in a jawbreaker. Rey tries to speed things up but walks into the overhead belly to belly. There go the straps but Rey armdrags out of the Angle Slam and sends Angle to the floor. Rey loads up a dive but the referee stops him, drawing the most heat of the night. Mysterio will have none of that and dives OVER THE REFEREE to take Angle out.

Back in and a springboard legdrop gets two as the crowd is on fire. Rey tries a victory roll but gets caught in the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls out and send Angle to the ropes for the 619. The West Coast Pop gets a VERY close two and a spinwheel kick puts Angle down again. Mysterio goes up top but Angle runs the ropes for the suplex, only to have Rey flip over him but he tweaks the ankle on the landing. He’s fine enough to pop back up and dropkick Angle on the corner though and he loads up a hurricanrana. Angle falls forward on it though and the ankle lock is good for the submission.

Rating: A-. EXCELLENT opener here with Mysterio showing he could hang with anyone in the company. He really was amazing to watch when he wasn’t banged up and bloated like he is today and this might be his best match ever. This was a great choice for an opener and both guys looked amazing.

Eric Bischoff (Raw) and Stephanie McMahon (Smackdown) agree to share the GM’s office tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Flair is a legend, Jericho is a young punk. This led to Jericho running down Flair over and over again so Flair destroyed a bunch of Jericho’s band Fozzy’s equipment as they were performing on Raw. Jericho takes him into the corner so Flair slaps him in the face. Feeling out process to start as Flair looks to be in a dancing mood tonight. A backdrop puts Flair down and a belly to back suplex does the same.

Back up and Flair hits some LOUD chops to take over. They head to the corner and it’s Jericho firing off some chops of his own to set up a Flair Flip in the corner. A clothesline puts Flair on the floor and Jericho hits an elbow off the top to crush him against the barricade. Back in and Jericho fires off punches before doing a little dance. The Canadian gets two off a middle rope missile dropkick and chokes Flair with some tape. Flair fires off some chops but gets dropped by a single right hand.

Jericho goes up top but Flair pulls a page out of every opponent he’s ever had to slam him down. Chris misses a charge into the corner and Flair backdrops him down. NOW we go to school but Jericho escapes a suplex and tries the Walls. Flair rolls out but Jericho hits an enziguri to put Naitch down again.

The Lionsault misses and Flair goes back to the chops to take over. Flair tries a half crab but Jericho escapes and puts Flair in the Figure Four. Ric makes the rope but taps out anyway, which isn’t a submission apparently. There’s a rule clarification if you ever need one. The referee goes to tell the timekeeper that the match is still going, allowing Flair to hit a low blow and put on the Figure Four for the submission. Don’t bother setting up the move or anything Ric.

Rating: C. I’m sorry for not having much of note to say but it’s almost impossible to add stuff to good matches. Nice match here as Flair gets to be the dirtiest player in the game again but it wasn’t anything spectacular. Jericho was still awesome as a heel and it felt good to see Flair make a comeback and beat him in the middle of the ring. This was at a point when Flair could still look decent in a pair of trunks so it wasn’t an embarrassment at all.

Heyman gives Brock a pep talk for the main event tonight. Brock is in Rock’s head and the next big thing arrives tonight. This is when Brock was the unstoppable monster instead of being HHH cannon fodder for a year. I still can’t get over that it lasted that long.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Edge is still finding his footing as a singles guy and the potential is through the roof, so the solution is the same as it was with DDP back in 97: put him with really talented people who can make him look awesome. This resulted in Edge vs. Regal, Angle and Guerrero for about six months, making everyone love Edge like few thought possible. Apparently Eddie is jealous of Edge’s popularity and his status as a sex symbol. Cole’s words, not mine.

Technical stuff to start until Edge suplexes Eddie to the apron but gets his neck snapped across the top rope. Edge comes back with a hot shot and a standing powerslam for two before tying Eddie up in the ropes. There’s the spear to Eddie’s ribs but Eddie avoids the second attempt to send the Canadian to the floor. Edge is holding his shoulder (the spear arm) and Eddie has something to focus on. The bad shoulder goes into the steps and Edge is in trouble.

Back in and Eddie DDTs the arm before driving some elbows into the shoulder. A jumping DDT to the arm off the top gets two and it’s off to a keylock. Edge finally gets to a rope so Eddie stomps even harder on the shoulder. Now it’s a cross face chickenwing of all moves shifted into a Fujiwara Armbar. Back up and Eddie belly to back suplexes him down but stays on the arm with a top wristlock. Edge finally slams him down to get a breather and fires off some clotheslines.

The half nelson faceplant gets two and Edge suplexes Eddie to the floor. A cross body off the top to the floor puts Guerrero down but Edge injures the shoulder again. Back in and Edge goes up but has to counter a superplex into a front superplex for two on Eddie. Edge loads up the spear but Eddie dropkicks him in the shoulder to put him down.

The frog splash hits knees and there’s the Edgecution for two. Another Edgecution is countered into a northern lights and Eddie hits the frog splash onto the bad shoulder for two. Some IDIOTS are chanting boring at this. Eddie goes up again but gets slammed down allowing Edge to hit the spear (with the bad shoulder with no problem) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was chugging right along until the STUPID ending. You cannot have Eddie working over on the arm for ten minutes and then hit the finisher like it’s nothing. What’s the point in even working on the arm if that’s how you end the match? It was going fine until that point but the ending just stopped it cold, much like the spear should have done for Edge.

The Un-Americans are ready to beat Booker T and Goldust to prove that America sucks. The only bad part though is they have to do it here in Long Island. This is a classic gimmick and would work at almost any point in history.

Raw Tag Titles: Goldust/Booker T vs. Un-Americans

The Un-Americans are Lance Storm and Christian (with Test) and they have the gold coming in. Goldust and Christian start with the Canadian being run over and uppercutted down for two. Off to Storm who gets caught in an atomic drop and it’s Booker T in to fire off right hands. Booker drops a big knee for two and brings in Goldust, only to have Storm poke him in the eye to take over.

The fans chant USA like the true xenophobes they are. We get some classic heel cheating as the Canadians double team until Christian gets two off a backbreaker. Back to Storm who walks into a kind of Boss Man Slam but Christian distracts the referee so the hot tag doesn’t count. The beating continues but Goldust catapults Christian into Storm to buy himself some time.

Goldust slaps the mat to try to fire up the crowd but Storm takes out Booker again so there’s no one for Goldie to tag. The champions miss a Conchairto and NOW the hot tag goes through. Booker cleans house and lays in the chops to Christian. A missile dropkick gets two but Booker accidentally superkicks the referee. Booker hits a double ax kick to take out both champions and there’s the Spinarooni. Christian is kicked down but here’s Test with a big boot to lay out Booker, giving Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a BIG step down from what we’ve had so far tonight. The match was just dull and nothing we haven’t seen done better a hundred times. Booker and Goldust had chemistry and fan support so we had to wait four months for them to get the titles. The Un-Americans were a find midcard heel act but the titles should have changed here.

Nidia is at The World (WWF New York) and makes out with a fan for some reason.

Bischoff and Stephanie continue their stupid back and forth.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending and a Smackdown guy in this brand vs. brand match. Van Dam hits some quick kicks to send Benoit to the outside but Benoit takes him down back inside. Van Dam spins away from a kick in the corner and hits a spinning cross body out of the corner for two. Benoit ducks another kick and hits a great release German suplex to take over. An elbow to the face gets two more for Benoit and it’s time to work on the back.

Benoit gets another near fall off a backbreaker and a snap suplex gets the same. Off to an armbar as Benoit wants the shoulder now. Rob gets some quick twos off rollups but Benoit runs him over with another elbow to the face. Benoit runs into a boot in the corner but the split legged moonsault hits knees. The Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls away from the Five Star as well.

Now the Crossface goes on for a good while but Van Dam makes the ropes. The challenger goes up but Benoit shoves him off the top and shoulder first into the barricade. Back in and Benoit hits a shoulder breaker (see that people? It’s called psychology. LEARN IT!) for two as the fans are distracted by something. Benoit wisely puts on a rest hold until their attention is back again.

They trade cross arm chokes with Benoit taking over again. Van Dam kicks his leg out but misses Rolling Thunder, allowing Benoit to put on the Crossface again. Rob elbows out but gets rolled up for two. Benoit goes back to the arm and sends him shoulder first into the post. A northern lights suplex onto the arm has Van Dam….looking confused and two more don’t really change that.

Back to the Crossface and Van Dam looks more annoyed than anything else. Rob (with his hair down for maybe the only time I ever remember) makes the rope and puts a Crossface on Benoit for a few seconds. A jumping kick to the face puts Benoit down for two and now Rolling Thunder connects.

Van Dam hits a shoulder to the ribs but injures the shoulder again (thanks for selling Rob). Not that it matters though as he kicks Benoit in the face for two. Rob gets crotched on the top but counters a belly to back superplex into a cross body to put both guys down. Van Dam pops up and hits the Five Star for the pin and the title. Extra points for Rob doing the finger point from the mat when he’s announced as the new champion.

Rating: B. This bad shoulder selling is getting on my nerves. Benoit had RVD in one of the best submissions ever three different times and Van Dam looked like he had a five year old child on his leg. The rest of the match however was very solid with Rob hanging in there with Benoit who was his usual awesome self.

Stephanie, having just lost the IC Title to Raw (giving them all the belts I believe) laughs. This story continued to not make sense until they just gave up.

Video on the Un-Americans who hate American. Undertaker wasn’t going to stand for this and turned face to deal with them. Well among other reasons but this was his first major feud as a face.

Undertaker vs. Test

Feeling out process to start with Taker sending Test into the corner and cranking on the arm. A big clothesline takes Test down for two but he shoves the referee into the ropes to break up Old School. Test sends him into the steps and into the turnbuckle to keep Taker in trouble. A running clothesline in the corner staggers Taker and it’s off to an armbar. Taker suplexes out but misses an elbow drop as this continues to drag.

Test misses an elbow as well and now Old School connects. Snake Eyes connects but Test ducks the big boot. Taker shoves him off and hits the chokeslam for two. Christian and Storm come in as a distraction but take a chokeslam each, allowing Test to hit his big boot for two. Test tries a chair shot but hits the ropes, sending it back into his own face. The Tombstone finishes this.

Rating: D. This wasn’t horrible but come on. It’s Undertaker vs. Test at the second biggest show of the year with Test being as an Un-American. Did you really expect ANY other result here? The match was passable enough but it’s definitely the lame match on the show. To be fair though it’s not even nine minutes long and it’s not a disaster.

Now let’s get to the real reason this show rocks.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. They were best friends back in the late 90s but Shawn broke his back and had to retire. Over the next four years, HHH rose to the top of the company and a higher level than Shawn ever achieved. Shawn came back to Raw and offered to reform DX, but HHH laid him out, saying they were never friends and he just used Shawn.

Then someone rammed Shawn through a windshield and HHH vowed to find out who it was. Shawn found security video revealing it was HHH, who said he did it to prove Shawn is vulnerable. Shawn’s doctors said he’d make a full recovery. Say by, Summerslam? The match isn’t sanctioned and is a street fight because it couldn’t be anything else. This is a great example of a feud based on hatred instead of some convoluted idea and it made the match much better.

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Shawn is in jeans tonight to hide the knee braces. Michaels comes out with right hands but HHH sends him to the outside. Not that it matters as Shawn is right back inside with more right hands. HHH is tossed to the floor and Shawn hits a nice dive to take him out. Remember that this is Shawn’s first match since March of 1998, or four and a half years ago.

A clothesline puts HHH down again and it’s garbage can time. HHH gets in a shot to the ribs and drops Shawn face first onto the barricade to get a breather. Shawn comes back in and is tossed over the top again but he skins the cat to a big pop. A trashcan shot caves in HHH’s head and a top rope fist to the head puts him down again. Shawn tunes up the band but HHH counters into a backbreaker to get to the meat of the match.

Another backbreaker has Shawn in agony and flopping like a fish as only he can. HHH gives a crotch chop and kicks Shawn down with ease. It’s chair time but a shot to the back only gets two. Shawn escapes a suplex into an O’Connor Roll for two but walks into a facebuster. A DDT onto the chair is only good for two but Shawn is busted open. HHH takes off Shawn’s belt and whips him in the back as the screaming continues.

And now it’s sledgehammer time. Shawn gets in some shots to the ribs to escape and HHH drops the hammer. The fans are behind HBK but he gets whipped into the corner and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. HHH gets caught holding the ropes and Hebner physically breaks the hold before yelling HHH into the corner. They slug it out again and HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn shoves him off, only to get crotched. HHH blasts Shawn’s wide open back with the chair and the crowd is somber.

A backbreaker onto the chair has Shawn lying motionless but HHH only gets two. He covers a few more times and HHH is very frustrated. A side slam onto the chair gets another two as JR screams for a fast count. Shawn counters a Pedigree onto the chair with a low blow and both guys are down. The HBK chant starts up again and HHH has the chair superkicked into his face. Now HHH is busted open too and Shawn slugs away before hitting the forearm and the nipup to blow the roof off the place.

Shawn backdrops him down and cracks HHH in the head with the chair. HHH is whipped over the corner and out to the floor where Shawn gets to beat on him with the belt. Shawn knocks him onto the announce table and hits him in the head with Hugo Savinovich’s shoe (Lawler: “A heel for a heel!”). HHH is sent into the steps and here’s a ladder being slammed into HHH’s face.

Some shots to the ribs have HHH screaming and the ladder is placed against the post with HHH being catapulted face first into the steel. That’s only good for two so Shawn heads outside again to get the ladder. HHH baseball slides the ladder into Michaels and pounds away at the cut head. For some reason HHH tries to come in off the top and gets caught in a superplex for two.

The crowd is losing their minds off these kickouts. A sunset flip gets two for Shawn but he gets caught by the knee to the face for two. HHH brings in the steps but Shawn drop toeholds him face first into the steel. A clothesline puts HHH on the floor and Shawn puls out a table. Well why not since we’ve used everything else.

Shawn puts him on the table and splashes him from the top rope in the big spot of the match. Both guys are DONE and the fans are in awe. Shawn sends the ladder back inside, says he loves us all, and drops the elbow from the top. Michaels has that look in his eye and tunes up the band but HHH catches the kick coming in. He loads up the Pedigree but Shawn sweeps the legs and rolls HHH up for the pin to blow the roof off the place again.

Rating: A+. Anyone who has read my stuff over the years knows I do not like a lot of things about HHH. For tonight, forget all that because this is one of the best matches of all time. I’ve seen this match several times and it still had me smiling to see Shawn make comeback after comeback and give HHH every single thing he deserved. It goes to show how great Shawn is as he came in after being gone nearly FIVE YEARS and does this. That’s remarkable when you think about it and is one of the greatest performances of all time.

Let’s talk about the match a little bit. It’s an excellent example of how to book a comeback, which is probably Shawn’s greatest strength. Shawn had the people believing that he was DEAD but he kept hanging in there time after time and made the huge comeback just like the crowd wanted. The other thing that works so well is the ending which a lot of people overlook.

The crux of this match was the destruction of both guys and seeing how far they could take it. At the end though, Shawn uses a basic wrestling counter and a cradle to win, totally shifting gears and beating HHH, the Cerebral Assassin, by thinking. That’s INCREDIBLE psychology and the perfect way to end this match. All in all, it’s a masterpiece and arguably the best performance of all time, all things considered.

Post match HHH becomes the universal evil by hitting Shawn square in the back with the sledgehammer and leaving him laying. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.

Now that we’ve had that amazing match, it’s time for something completely stupid. Howard Finkel of all people has something to say. He’s been here forever and while Major League Baseball may be going on strike, he’ll be here forever. This brings out Trish Stratus who slapped him in the face recently. Howard insults Long Island women and Trish says he has a sexy voice. He makes unfunny references and they hug but it’s a ruse to have Lillian Garcia come in and kick Howard low.

We recap Rock vs. Lesnar. Brock is the new monster and Rock is the warrior champion and there isn’t much more to it than that. The videos of Rocky going through special training (actually for The Rundown) were pretty awesome.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar has his agent Paul Heyman with him. Rock charges into the ring and walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. Lesnar hits a pair of backbreakers for two and we head to the floor with Brock clotheslining him into the crowd. Apparently Rock has bad ribs coming into this match. Back in and Brock hits another overhead belly to belly suplex for two before dropping some elbows. A powerslam puts Rock down for two as this is one sided so far. Brock fires off some shoulder in the corner but misses a charge and hits the post.

Rock hits a belly to back suplex of his own and both guys are down. Both guys nip up at the same time and Rock isn’t sure what to think. Rock hits some clotheslines but it takes three of them to finally drop Brock. The champion hooks a Sharpshooter and Brock is in trouble. Heyman throws in a chair which distracts Rocky, allowing Lesnar to to get out and blast Rock in the ribs with the chair. Off to the bearhug which ended Hogan and takes Rock down to the mat here.

The fans are entirely behind Lesnar here which is very strange to hear. Rock doesn’t let his arm drop a third time and now we get a Rocky chant. The champion finally escapes the hold but gets a hard shoulder into the ribs to slow him down again. Rock comes out of the corner with a running clothesline and the crowd reaction is mixed at best. A series of right hands knocks Lesnar out to the floor and Rock loads up the announce table. After scaring Heyman to death, Rock launches Lesnar face first into the post.

There’s a Rock Bottom through the table for Heyman and the announcers couldn’t be happier. Back in and the Rock Bottom hits Lesnar for a VERY close two. The fans shift affiliation again, now cheering for Brock. Their current hero hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two and both guys stagger to their feet. Rock hits the spinebuster but as he loads up the Elbow, Brock pops up and hits a HUGE clothesline. Here comes the F5 but Rock escapes and tries the Rock Bottom. That and another attempt at the same move are both countered and the F5 gives Lesnar the title.

Rating: B-. The match was just ok until the very hot finish, but the last two minutes or so made up for a lot of the earlier problems. This was a great example of how to make a guy like Lesnar look like a monster. Rock left to film The Rundown immediately after this so Lesnar was the only one left standing. Great way to put Brock over here and a pretty solid match overall.

Lesnar celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. As I said this is considered one of the best shows of all time and it’s easy to see why. The main event was the start of a new era in the company, there’s a masterpiece of a match, the upper half of the card is stacked and the worst match is passable. I can’t put it as high as Wrestlemania X7 on the all time scale but the fact that it’s even in the conversations speaks volumes. This is absolutely worth seeing though and HHH vs. Shawn is must see.

Ratings Comparison

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A+

Redo: A-

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Un-Americans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Test

Original: D

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

Original: A+

Redo: A+

The Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Still a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/05/history-of-summerslam-count-up-summerslam-2002-best-summerslam-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $5 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books as low as $4 at:

Announced tonight.  That’s a good first match for Wyatt.

Great American Bash 2008
Date: July 20, 2008
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,454
Commentators: Jim Ross, Mick Foley, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Mike Adamle

This is the last of the Bashes and the card looks pretty good. The main event is for the Smackdown Title and is one of the few big matches that never got a big time PPV main event slot: HHH defends against Edge. Other than that we have a parking lot brawl with JBL vs. Cena and Jericho vs. Michaels in a match where HBK’s eye is bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Vickie and Edge’s wedding. Edge them cheated on her with wedding planner Alicia Fox but this was ok I guess. The rest of the video is about the matches I mentioend.

Oh and this is officially the last show before PG began.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle vs. Jesse/Festus vs Curt Hawkins/Zack Ryder

Miz and Morrison are defending. Festus is Luke Gallows who freaks out at the sound of a bell. Jesse and Festus clear the ring so the champs send Horny in to fight him. Smart move guys. Horny wants to try it but instead dives through the ropes to take out the champ. Festus vs. Miz gets us going officially. Off to Jesse with the only world champion to be found in this match in trouble.

Morrison and Finlay come in and the Irishman is in trouble. Foley asks why you would tag into someone on another team since this is one fall to a finish. Miz and Morrison use various nefarious techniques to hurt Finley and it’s off to the chinlock. Miz and Morrison switch in and out twice and Finlay gets in a shot. I don’t think Hawkins and Ryder have been in yet and as I say that Ryder comes in to steal a pin attempt, getting two.

The former Edgeheads/Major Brothers hammer away on Finlay but he counters into the rolling fireman’s carry slam, whatever that was called. The Irish Club is brought in and I don’t know who got hit as Miz and Morrison ran in to break it up. Finlay gets in a shot on I think Hawkins and it’s off to Horny. Jesse tags himself in to beat on Hawkins. There’s the not hot tag to Festus and he cleans house. He and Jesse load up a rocket launcher but Ryder pulls Festus to the floor and Jesse gets slammed off the top. Hawkins pins Jesse for the surprise title win.

Rating: C-. Hey, you ever seen one of those multi team tag matches where not a lot really happens because there are so many teams that nothing can get going at all and no one is able to get anything going and the ending is a big mess with a team that didn’t do much stealing the win and it wasn’t bad but you’ve seen something just like it before? Well this was one of those matches.

US Title: Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shelton is the Gold Standard and challenger. The announcers point out that no one has ever lost the title at the Bash and of course they treat it like the same show as the WCW incarnation. Shelton takes over with a headlock but Matt takes over with an armdrag of his own. A quick Pay Dirty (Little Jimmy) and Twist of Fate are both countered and Matt takes over again.

Matt tries to skin the cat but Shelton dropkicks him to the floor. Shelton rams him into the post to take over. The fans are into this and I presume they’re behind Hardy but I can’t really tell. It might be split. Matt tries a Side Effect but Shelton counters into an STO for two. The Dragon Whip looks to set up the Stinger Splash but Matt counters. Middle rope leg and sunset flip get two for Matt. Twist attempt is countered and Shelton looks for a middle rope belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off. Moonsault gets knees and Pay Dirt gives Benjamin the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but I really didn’t get into it. Matt was certainly better as a guy that was chasing the title rather than actually holding it. Matt would go on to win the ECW Title soon after this as Shelton would hold the US Title for like 8 months and then would just chill on ECW until being released in 2010.

On Monday, Punk said Batista saved him so that Batista would get his shot tonight because Punk is the easier victory. He says he’s not the biggest or the strongest or anything like that. He’s the man that proves everyone wrong, CM Punk, World Heavyweight Champion. I like that ending.

Here’s a video from Smackdown where HHH showed Edge cheating on Vickie with Fox (not yet a Diva).

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Tommy Dreamer

Henry is champion and Dreamer is challenging because he’s Tommy Dreamer and it’s the ECW Title. Oh Mike Adamle: how I forgot about you. Tony Atlas is with Henry here. Dreamer has Colin Delaney with him. Delaney is a jobber that Barry Horowitz would laugh at. Dreamer charges at Henry because he’s not that smart. Single leg fails miserably. Mark runs him down and this is pure dominance as expected. Henry steps on his face. That has to hurt.

Henry grabs the wrist and works on the arm for absolutely no logical reason. Dude YOU’RE MARK FREAKING HENRY! GO DESTROY A SMALL CITY! The fans correctly chant boring and I’d be doing it too….maybe. Now back to the arm. The fans try to cheer for Dreamer but he gets beaten even worse. A splash (called the World’s Strongest Slam by Adamle but corrected by Tazz) misses and here comes Dreamer. A neckbreaker gets two for Tommy. DDT puts Henry down but Atlas distracts. Dreamer goes after him and then goes up, where Delaney turns on him, shoving him off. The Slam ends this.

Rating: D-. What a boring match. Tazz freaking out over Delaney turning is kind of funny. This went nowhere at all and was a VERY boring match with Henry literally crushing him for most of the match, other than that weird arm stuff. Dreamer would beat up Delaney for awhile before they finally got rid of his worthless self.

We recap Shawn vs. Jericho. This is kind of a complicated one. So Shawn retired Flair at Mania and Batista was MAD about it. He demanded a match with Shawn and got it at Backlash. Jericho was referee for some reason. Shawn claimed to injure his knee and won anyway. Jericho had Shawn on the Highlight Reel and said Shawn faked it. Shawn denied it but Jericho persisted. Eventually Shawn admitted he was faking it but Jericho wanted more of a confession than that. It turned into them arguing about who was better and then Jericho accidentally (allegedly) injured Shawn’s eye. Shawn is coming back tonight.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare each other down and here we go. It’s a slugout to start and Jericho controls early. Shawn may have bad ribs but he manages to get in a shot at Jericho’s knee to take over. There’s a reverse Figure Four and Jericho is in trouble early on. Jericho gets in a shot though and the springboard dropkick to the apron makes Shawn backflip on the apron and land on the floor.

Jericho works on the ribs but mixes in some face shots (remember the eye) to show some very nice psychology. Shawn hits the forearm and nips up but the kick is countered into the Walls. He manages to get the rope and fires another kick which is blocked as well. Clothesline gets two for Shawn. Shawn loads up the big elbow but Chris crotches him. Jericho loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and Shawn can hit the elbow.

Here’s Jericho flunkie Lance Cade who breaks up the superkick but Shawn manages to avoid a Codebreaker attempt. Jericho gets a rollup for two and is then promptly launched to the floor. Shawn goes up and tries a moonsault to take out both guys but mostly splits them to crash to the floor. That looked PAINFUL. Jericho pops him with an elbow and the eye is bleeding. Jericho turns into a shark, going after the eye.

Shawn is covered in blood quickly and just has his hands up to try to defend himself but Jericho goes right for the eye with punches. Cade even gets in a shot. Shawn keeps saying don’t stop it. Jericho rams in headbutts and Shawn is in big trouble. Out of NOWHERE Shawn grabs a Crossface but Jericho breaks it pretty quickly. There is blood all over Jericho and Shawn.

Shawn makes the referee promise not to stop it so Jericho hammers away even more. They check it again and Jericho asks if Shawn said keep it going. He’s told Shawn said yes so Jericho kicks him in the face. Even Jericho’s hair has blood on it. Chris traps Shawn’s eyes and shouts in his face as he gets in a bunch of unprotected shots until the referee finally stops it.

Rating: B. It was a great beating and a great example of how blood can help a match and visual a lot, but it didn’t quite reach epic levels, probably due to the ending just being a repeat of everything that had happened for the majority of the match. They would have better matches coming up, but this certainly wasn’t a bad one.

Shawn gets his eye checked post match to eat up some of the ton of time they have left on this show.

Edge is surprised when JR asks him how he feels. He says HHH has taken away his personal life and this is all he has left. All Edge can do is take the WWE Title.

Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya

This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.

Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.

Jericho comes out to interrupt the celebration and says keep your ticket stubs because this was the night of Shawn’s last match. Shawn has a detached retina, meaning he’s finished.

We recap the Raw Title match. Punk won MITB and cashed in on Edge after Batista destroyed Edge to open a Raw. Batista I guess too offense to Punk winning the title that way and treated Punk like an easy challenger, which to be fair is how he’s been treated since.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Batista

Punk looks like a kid. He has to stick and move to avoid the power game but Batista gets in a clothesline and boot for two. Batista gets sent to the floor and Punk hits a baseball slide. A suicide dive is mostly countered. I was at a house show about two weeks before this so I saw a lot of these spots before they happened here. Batista reverses a whip into the corner which Lawler calls a desperation move.

It’s amazing hearing Cole and Lawler as a decent commentary team. Cole is good at setting up King with softball questions to knock out of the park. Lawler needs someone to lead him in and then he can more than take care of himself on there. Batista hooks a camel clutch which is broken pretty quickly. There’s a leg lariat by Punk to send Big Dave to the floor. Top rope cross body gets two.

Punk goes for the corner knee but gets caught in a Bomb attempt. Batista takes him down and shakes the ropes. Here’s another try at the Bomb but he grabs the rope again. The corner knee hits and a GREAT high kick takes Big Dave down. Into the corner and Punk grabs the arm which he pulls back over the ropes. That looked cool. Punk hammers away but walks into a clothesline. A charge goes into the post and they head to the floor where Batista KILLS PUNK DEAD with a spinebuster. And here’s Kane for the DQ. Big Dave wins.

Rating: D+. I knew that ending was coming and I still rolled my eyes. This was getting to be something good, but at the end of the day Punk looked beaten and Kane came in. It’s REALLY not going to hurt Batista to go down to a rollup or something. Punk never really had a chance in this title reign and never lost the title. Hate that ending.

Wait…..HOW IS THAT A DOUBLE DQ???? KANE NEVER TOUCHE……oh screw it. Batista powerbombs Punk post match.

We recap Cena vs. JBL. JBL declared martial law because Punk was champion. He had private security carry Cena out. Cena and Cryme Tyme came out and helped Punk keep the title. This turned into the usual culture war of these two. A parking lot brawl was proposed and accepted. JBL attempted to run Cena over in one of the dumbest looking spots you’ll ever see. There was a camera in the car and from where Cena would have been sitting. Jibbles missed of course.

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This is in “the parking lot” and likely was taped earlier today for the most part. JBL is in a shirt and tie and has a crowbar. He takes the tie off at least. They have the circle of cars set up and a referee out there. Something metal hits the ground but we don’t know where it was from. Now a car turns on and Cena drives it at the car JBL is standing on. Ok now it’s on.

Cena chokes him with jumper cables. Then he slams a car hood on him. Now he jumps JBL’s balls. That would kind of, um, KILL HIM. Cena picks up an oil drum and chucks it at a car which JBL tries to escape in. Bradshaw gets in some shots but nothing significant. They knock a car door off. Cena went through it so JBL takes over. Powerbomb on a car gets two. Cena gets dropped on the top of a car for two.

Cena goes through a window and isn’t busted open. Did they hit the blood quota earlier or something? This is really dull by the way. Cena is knocked down then thrown into the back of a car and JBL goes to get a gas can out of his limo. He covers the car with the gas and throws a lighter on it. Uh yeah I’m done here. They put it out but JBL is stealing a forklift. Cena gets out and Bradshaw is mad.

They brawl even more and Cena takes over, throwing JBL into a car then into a car. Cena gets the forklift and spears the car. He lifts the car up and drives the forklift into the arena. JBL gets beaten up on the stage. There’s the Shuffle and Cena loads up the FU. Instead of flipping the fool like a clam shelled cellular phone, he walks towards the car and JBL escapes and throws Cena off the stage into the windshield for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This had nothing to do with wrestling. It was bad, whatever it was. They got WAY too ridiculous here and I’m sure the fans loved seeing a total of maybe three minutes of this live. They were setting up JBL as the next challenger to Punk and Cena moved onto Batista, but this was still bad.

We recap Edge vs. HHH. The whole wedding thing is recapped again but in greater detail. I think that’s about it to the story.

HHH says he regrets nothing.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Edge

How this is used at the Bash and not Wrestlemania I’m not sure. Edge takes him down immediately and they head to the floor. HHH throws him into the barricade and a big forearm back in the ring puts Edge outside again. HHH misses a charge and Edge gets a breather. A quick spear by Edge takes Trips down but the Game hammers away. HHH is champion if I forgot to mention that. There hasn’t been a lot of sustained contact in this.

Edge rams him into the barricade and then the apron a few times. Now to the table. Off to a body scissors to work on the injured ribs. HHH escapes and pounds Edge about the head and shoulders. A Canadian dropkick puts HHH down but he comes back with right hands and a clothesline. Facebuster puts Edge on the floor but Edge slides in so he can miss a baseball slide.

Edgecution might have knocked HHH out on the floor but he manages to kick out back inside. Edge goes up but jumps into a slingshot and a DDT of HHH’s own. That’s still my favorite move. It only gets two here but it looked pretty good. Edge-O-Matic gets two. It’s the reverse X-Factor if no one has any idea what that is anymore.

Spear misses and HHH rolls him up for two. Edge kicks him in the head to put HHH right back down as we’re running low on time. Spinebuster takes Edge down but the Pedigree is countered by ramming HHH into the corner. Edge superplexes him down and here’s Alicia Fox. She tries to slid the title in to Edge but Vickie comes out and breaks it up. Now the girls fight in the ring and the fans seem into it. Edge accidentally spears Vickie which I think is what put her back in the wheelchair. The distraction lets the Pedigree end it.

Rating: B-. Good match but it felt kind of there. It’s good but it feels like an afterthought instead of a big time title match, which is what these two should be. Vickie and Alicia had to get into this because that was by far the bigger story and I’m more than ok with it, but it didn’t help the match seeming just there. It was good though.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost the same as the previous year’s but not quite as good from a wrestling perspective. The main event isn’t as good but the show wasn’t bad overall. 2008 was just kind of there as a year for WWE. They were getting some stuff together but it really wasn’t that great. Still though, this wasn’t bad but I’m never going to want to see it again, which happens a lot with these shows.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Money in the Bank 2011
Date: July 17, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T, Jerry Lawler

It’s Money in the Bank and I’m rather clueless as to who is going to win three of the four main matches. The MITB matches themselves are total tossups and the Punk vs. Cena match could go a bunch of ways. It’ll definitely be interesting and will set the stage for at least the next few months worth of shows, if nothing else due to the MITB cases, assuming one isn’t cashed in tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is of course mainly about Punk vs. Cena, which to be fair is by far and away the biggest match on the card.

Sin Cara vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Wade Barrett vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan

This is going to be a big insane match so it’s almost impossible to call what’s going on in these things. I’m really not sure who to predict in this. I went with Cody as a more or less random choice mainly out of a lack of anyone else. Big mess to start as these really should only have six people in them. Kane, Barrett and Sheamus clear the ring out and it’s a three way staredown.

The Europeans….wait Kane is from Spain. Ok the two guys not named Kane go down and it’s ladder time already. Bryan dropkicks Kane down as Slater and Gabriel team up a bit. Cara, who is in white/gray here, gets taken down but the former tag partners fight already. Slater goes for the ladder and is loudly booed. Gabriel goes up but the ladder is way off center. Bryan dropkicks him off but Cody goes up.

Kane sends Sheamus and Cody to the floor but Barrett stops the Big Bald. Kane throws a ladder at Sheamus to take him down. Slater vs. Kane and guess who wins that one. Cara pops up out of nowhere to drill Kane and break up the clothesline. Bryan hits a big dive and Gabriel does the same. Sorry for all the play by play stuff but it’s all you can do in these things for the most part.

Cara is like screw you guys I’m the flier here and takes out Sheamus with a huge one. He follows that up by kicking Bryan in the head and hitting the top rope C4 to take Bryan down. Sin tries to go for the briefcase but can’t pick a ladder up and into the ring. Barrett kicks his head off so it doesn’t matter. They do the whole set up a ladder as a bridge from the ring to the table thing as is customary.

Cara avoids going through it though and Barrett clotheslines the post. For some reason the masked guy goes in again without a ladder and gets his head kicked off by Sheamus. Not a good night for the Mexican dude. Cara gets powerbombed through the ladder to more or less kill him. BIG pop for Sheamus for that one. Sheamus is controlling almost everyone here as Cara is taken out on a stretcher.

Kane and Sheamus are in the ring and fighting over a ladder. Scratch that as all three go to the floor. Bryan, Kane and Cody are all in the ring with ladders now. The small guys work together to take Kane down and there goes that partnership. Cara is gone now, as in out of the entire arena via a stretcher. Kane has the big ladder set up in the ring and everyone comes in. Cody makes an attempt but all the small guys make a save.

The former Nexus triple teams Bryan and then the tag team tells Barrett to go ahead. Barrett proves why British wrestlers are stupid as he goes up and is pulled down just a few seconds later. Both of them go up but Rhodes shoves the ladder down. Cross Rhodes takes someone down and it’s time for Barrett and Rhodes to fight over the ladder. Cross Rhodes takes Barrett out but Sheamus makes the last second save.

There’s an Irish Curse and pasty goes up, only for Bryan to make the save. Bryan rams him into the ladder a few times and goes up at the same time. Sheamus and Kane combine for a Doomsday Device to END Bryan. Kane and Sheamus are alone in the ring now. Well other than a ladder but that doesn’t count I don’t think. The big ladder is in the ring and a regular one is set up as a bridge against the middle buckle.

Kane escapes though and chokeslams various small people. Big Bald goes up but Bryan makes ANOTHER save despite being legally deceased I believe. Bryan goes up and almost gets the LeBell Lock on the ladder. That would be awesome. Bryan manages to knock Kane to the floor but Slater stops him. Bryan saves AGAIN as he’s been insane so far tonight.

Slater goes up one more time but Barrett saves. Time for Barrett vs. Sheamus which doesn’t sound all that appealing. Thankfully they team up and stop Slater, using a ladder like a fork to stop Slater and shove him off the top. That was cool. Sheamus goes nuts and takes out a lot of people so he can climb. Naturally he’s not that smart so he sets up another ladder on the top rope.

Sheamus is just beating people up at the moment and not really trying to go after it. Even Booker is saying GO FOR IT. Ok now he’s going up but Kane pops up from nowhere to stop him. Sheamus has a bridge ladder beneath him. He goes onto it but doesn’t break it. FREAKING OW MAN! Wasteland hits Kane and Gabriel climbs a ladder and hits 450 in the tightest space possible. That was AWESOME.

Bryan and Cody go at it on the ladder as everyone but Barrett is down. Wade comes up as Bryan tries to choke Cody out because he’s an idiot. Cody goes down and Wade takes an elbow to knock him backwards a bit. Bryan is alone up there and Wade is on the bridge. Bryan kicks him down and WINS THE CASE! Totally didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: A. I liked the storytelling aspect of this as Bryan was the MVP of this thing. He made a ton of saves and certainly deserved to win it in the end. The spots in this were great and Cara going out might have been due to prevent him from botching something major, which says a lot. I’m not sure I can see Bryan winning a title but stranger things have happened. GREAT match though.

Vince is here. Hokey smoke that’s Johnny Ace with him.

Apparently Punk hasn’t signed yet but is in a meeting for a last second negotiation.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Brie Bella

Booker says he never dressed like his brother in Harlem Heat. Is his memory failing or something? No idea what you want me to say here. They’re both hot, they’re both inept, the match is slightly longer than a regular match they have on Raw. Kelly is champion in case you’re reading this like three years from now. It’s a totally boring match and it’s a total food break for the crowd. Oh and Eve is with Kelly at ringside here. Crowd is dead here. K2 ends this at like four minutes. Total filler and it knows it.

Rating: D. What do you want me to say here? This match was nothing but the girls looked good so I can’t call it a failure. The division is horrible since Kharma got pregnant and Laycool went down at the same time. Not a horrible match but just an extended Raw thing really. It served its purpose though I guess.

Summerslam ad. It’s in the summer you know. Eh Divas in bikinis is never a bad thing.

We recap Henry vs. Show. They’re both big, they’re both strong, they both hurt people. Yeah that’s about it.

Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Henry is in blue here. They slug it out to start and Show JUMPS at him with a shoulder block to take Mark down. Out to the floor early and Show loads up a chokeslam through the table but Henry breaks it up. Show shoves him over the steps and the bald one is in control. Scratch that as Henry sends him into the steps and Show goes back in. Henry goes for the knee with a chop block and Show is in trouble.

Boot to the head gets two. Half crab goes on which makes sense for once. Henry? Psychology? What’s in this lemonade I’m drinking? Show grabs a rope and manages to kick Henry off which looked rather cool. Splash/running clothesline hits Show in the corner and Henry is all angry and such. Show GOES UP and hits a shoulder block off the middle rope but he hurts his knee again.

Both guys are down now and the count gets like three. Show loads up the chokeslam but Henry kicks him in the knee to break it up. World’s Strongest Slam but it only gets two. Dang I would have thought that was the ending. Another World’s Strongest Slam and a pair of splashes and Show is finally done.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but I liked it. They were going at it out there and more importantly than anything else, it was short. That’s a very key thing to this match and it made things work a lot better overall. Henry’s push probably won’t go anywhere (at least I hope not) but a win like this is perfectly fine.

Post match Henry Pillmanizes Show’s leg with a Vader Bomb. Show goes out on a stretcher saying it’s broken to fill in some time.

Vince is saying this is a nightmare as Josh comes in to ask if Punk has re-signed. He hasn’t apparently but Vince offered him a huge contract. Vince talks for a bit and ultimately says if Punk leaves with the title, may God have mercy on Cena’s soul.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. R-Truth vs. Alex Riley vs. The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Everyone grabs a mini ladder as they come into the ring. Rey comes out last and gets almost ZERO reaction. Everyone has a ladder and they surround Del Rio, beating him down rather easily. Booker picks Evan Bourne which Lawler is surprised at. Some of the guys are out of the ring now and Swagger is thrown out for the second time. Truth and Miz have a stand off and duel a bit.

Swagger takes them both out because that’s just smart. He sets up a ladder but Kofi and Bourne run in at the same time for an attempt to go up. Now they team up and take out some heels. Rey gets a rana to take Swagger to the floor again and Truth takes Kofi out. Riley crotches him on a ladder and is the only one standing. Miz comes in for the save but all the ladders are too short anyway so it’s not like it matters.

Riley dives over the top and takes out Swagger and Miz in a nice spot. Truth dives over to take out all three of them. Kofi and Rey do a double dive to take all of them out. Bourne goes up and everyone gasps. SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO ALL FIVE GUYS!!! Bourne goes up a big ladder but Miz makes the save. Bourne gets a hand on it but so does Miz. Del Rio pops up and shoves it down as Miz may have hurt his knee.

He landed on it coming down and may have jammed it. I think it’s worked but it doesn’t look right AT ALL. This might be legit actually. Miz is carried out but can’t seem to put any weight on the knee. I think he might be actually hurt if the visual is any sign of it. Truth and Del Rio are both climbed over (literally) by Rey and Bourne. The faces hit stereo ranas to take out the heels. That looked SWEET.

Swagger is all alone but Kofi is like screw that and jumps over him onto the ladder. Swagger puts an ankle lock on him instead and Riley tries to steal the case but fails. Rey vs. Truth at the moment with Rey taking a ladder to the ribs. He climbs onto a ladder but falls onto it face first. Kofi goes up and uses a ladder as a step down for a Boom Drop onto Truth. Booker of course criticizes him for dancing too much.

This match is a lot more choreographed and you can tell it a lot. Truth messes up a see-saw spot to Swagger. Good thing Swagger was nice enough to sit there and let Truth do it again. Rey and Riley slug it out on the ladder but Bourne and Del Rio get ladders of their own. Down goes Alberto and Rey has his hand on it. All seven guys are on ladders in what looks like a clothed orgy, which kind of defeats the purpose but you get the idea.

Down goes Del Rio and there goes Jack too. Bourne is tossed but the other four are all there still. Truth goes down and Kofi gets a swinging kick to knock Rey off. He’s all alone but Swagger makes a last second stop. They both fall and it looked VERY bad as Kofi’s knee landed on Swagger’s throat. HERE’S MIZ! He literally hops down the aisle on one leg but Rey stops (to huge booing).

Rey and Del Rio fight a bit but down goes Del Rio. Never mind as he’s coming back up again. Briefcase to Alberto’s head but Rey still can’t get it. REY’S MASK IS OFF! Everything falls down and Rey has to cover his face. Alberto goes up as Rey is all terrified. Alberto is all alone and it’s over. Didn’t see that one coming.

Rating: B. Good, but nowhere near as good as the SD one. The spots here were awesome to say the least but the sloppiness hurt it a good bit. Miz coming back in was great and an awesome false finish. Rey losing his mask was rather surprising and I’m seriously wondering how badly hurt Swagger is because that didn’t look like a planned fall at all. Messy but fun, which is about par for the course in MITB to be honest.

You get a relatively clear shot of Rey’s face during the highlight package.

We recap Christian vs. Orton, which is more or less Christian can’t beat Orton and turned heel because his initial title loss to him was unfair. If Orton gets disqualified or if there’s a “bad decision”, Orton loses the title.

Del Rio says he shouldn’t have had to win but this is his destiny.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Christian shows off some nice psychology as he throws a chair in immediately and tries to get Orton to snap. The chair goes to the floor and Orton takes over with relative ease. The crowd is totally behind Christian here. Out to the floor with Orton in control but Christian takes over back inside. These two have had some very good matches so this should be awesome.

They slug it out a bit with Christian mostly in control. Orton grabs a rollup for two. Killswitch doesn’t work and they clothesline each other to the floor. Back in and Christian jumps over him and blocks an RKO. Jackknife cover gets two for Randy. There’s the Thesz Press as the fans aren’t pleased. Elevated DDT doesn’t work but Christian tries his spinning dive out of the corner, only to jump into a dropkick to the ribs.

Christian takes over again as he’s done a lot in this match. Top rope headbutt gets two. Killswitch hits out of almost nowhere but Orton gets out at 2.999. Even the crowd is into this now. Christian loads up a spear but he hits the post instead. Orton puts Christian in that over the shoulder backbreaker into the neckbreaker (LOVE that move) for two. He sets for the Punt but Christian moves. Randy settles for the powerslam instead.

There’s the elevated DDT and Christian is in trouble. Christian spits in Orton’s face to tick him off and Orton goes off on him. He breaks at three though so it’s not a DQ. Orton kicks Christian low…and it’s a DQ! CHRISTIAN WINS THE TITLE!!! THAT STIPULATION ACTUALLY WORKED!!!

Rating: B-. Good match here but not as good as their usual stuff. I can’t believe that ending actually worked either as I’ve never seen anything like it before. Granted it’s probably so Bryan can come out and cash in but that is what it is. Either way this was fine and they continue to have great matches together.

Orton destroys Christian post match, hitting a bunch of RKOs on the table while Teddy tries to calm him down.

Ok if Bryan doesn’t come down now, he’s an idiot. Apparently he’s an idiot because he’s not here.

We recap Punk vs. Cena. If you don’t know this, you’re an idiot. Basically, Punk went on a massive rant against WWE and Cena in a worked shoot. This is his last night with the company and Vince is involved too. If Punk leaves with the title, Cena is fired.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk

And here we go. Punk has an epic reaction as he’s the hometown boy. He even has a new shirt. The crowd is rabid for Punk. He sits in the ring and is a total face in the eyes of the crowd. HUGE CM Punk chant goes up as we wait on Cena. I seriously worry for Cena’s safety if he wins. OH MAN that heat is ONS levels. Punk goes out to be near the crowd for Cena’s entrance. Total stoic Cena here as everything he does is booed out of the building.

They do big match intros and Punk is as over as free beer. Here we go. I’m so fired up for this it’s unreal. TON of time for this too. Punk grabs a headlock and the YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up. We actually do some chain wrestling and Cena is booed out of the building for a snap mare. They do some obvious spot calling while Cena has a headlock. Punk tries to fire off a spin kick but Cena ducks.

YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants start up and Punk points at himself and asks the fans if they mean him. Punk almost gets an Anaconda Vice but Cena reverses into an armbar. They’re working slow here but that’s perfectly fine given that they have over 45 minutes if need be. Jerry tries to make Punk out to be the heel here and it’s just failing completely. There’s the duel and it’s all CENA SUCKS rather quickly.

Even Cole is against Punk here. Headlock goes on again as Cena has mostly controlled here, but we’re only like 5 minutes in. Hip toss by Punk sets up a dropkick and Punk speeds things up a bit. There’s a headlock of his own and Cena is down. We reference Montreal because that’s just what we do here in WWE. Punk does You Can’t See Me to Cena and they both try their finishers but it’s a stalemate.

HUGE CM Punk chant goes up which is par for the course tonight. Punk goes for the knee and takes over again. Cena fires back with the bulldog for two. Off to a front facelock and Punk shakes his finger no. I’ve never seen as many spots called in a single match. Cena hits a clothesline and Punk might have lost a tooth. Off to an arm trap chinlock which is close to a Crossface with Cena on his back.

Punk gets up and suplexes his way out of it for two. Cena does a Bret Hart chest to the buckle bump which gets two. All Punk at this point. Cena gets something going and hits a release fisherman’s suplex for two. AA is reversed again and Punk gets a quick DDT for two. Triangle choke goes on Cena and we slow it down again. It seems like they’re saving energy. They’ve been at it nearly ten minutes and it’s 10:22 so that’s a very likely scenario.

Cena counters out of it but Punk throws him to the floor. Punk teases going up but just climbs out instead. The fans applaud Punk just for picking Cena up. The fans chant for Colt Cabana and there’s a knee to the back of the neck of Cena while he’s hanging off the apron. That gets two back in the ring. Punk charges at Cena but his arm hits the post to buy Cena a few seconds.

And never mind as Punk hits a clothesline for two. Back to the chinlock as this needs to go a long time since the rest holds are getting a bit boring. There are actually some Cena chants and Punk comes off the middle rope with a spinning cross body. Cena might have hurt his knee as he’s going to the apron a bit. Punk goes after him but can’t suplex him back in. Cena manages to suplex him to the floor and the fans clap for a bit.

I think the knee was a work as he’s not even holding it at the moment. Oh wait yes he is. That was more or less an FU off the apron. Back in the ring that gets two as he’s rubbing the knee now. He can stand on it and hits another release fisherman’s. Elbow drop gets two. Cena sets for what looks like a powerslam but flips Punk forward into a sitout slam for two.

It’s only 10:30 and they’ve been going at it over 15 minutes. The knee looks fine. It’s boo/yay time and the yays are winning it. We go WAY old school with an abdominal stretch. HE EVEN HOOKS THE LEG PROPERLY! Punk hip tosses out of it and it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Cena up first and he initiates the ending sequence. The Protobomb is reversed though and Punk gets the loudest reaction for a rollup you’ll ever here.

Protobomb hits this time but You Can’t See Me results in a kick to the head. Suicide dive takes Cena down and the fans erupt again. Punk high fives a fan while he’s still on the ground in a cool moment. Punk misses a cross body and now he Can’t See Cena. Five Knuckle Shuffle hits at about 20 minutes. AA is countered and Punk uses his martial arts for two.

Punk is looking towards the entrance and smiles for no apparent reason. GTS is loaded up but Cena counters into a gutwrench suplex for two. Punk fights back with some knees to the jaw and a bulldog. Springboard clothesline gets two and the fans are still totally into this. The replay shows how sweet those knees were. Out of nowhere Cena grabs the STF and Punk is in trouble! Oh of course he makes the rope but it takes awhile for him to get there.

As Cena goes for Punk again he gets caught in the side of the head with a big old kick for two. Cena rolls through a cross body but the AA is countered into the GTS but Cena grabs the leg and the STF is back on again! Punk can’t make the ropes but Cena pulls him back to the middle again. Cole says it’s a matter of time and he’s right. It’ll just be multiple more minutes because Punk manages to counter from the mat into the Anaconda Vice. SWEET!

Cena gets back up there’s the AA for TWO. This is getting awesome as they used the slow build. I’m glued to my screen which hasn’t happened since a few years ago with Taker vs. Shawn. Top rope legdrop is countered via something like a powerbomb for two. Punk almost Hulks Up and says it’s time to Go To Sleep. He loads it up but Cena grabs the rope and clotheslines him on it.

The top rope legdrop hits this time but it only gets two. These kickouts are incredible. They’re not going to end the match but they’ve built it up so well and the audience being so into them is making up the difference. Cena is getting his 19^th wind and looks like he wants the AA. It hits clean again and PUNK KICKS OUT. Cena tries an AA off the middle rope but Punk fights out of it.

He manages to get a top rope hurricanrana but Cena goes to the corner to escape. Corner knee sets up the GTS and Cole is scared to death. The knee only hits the ribs and Cena manages to fall out of the ring instead of being in pinning position. And here’s Vince with Johnny Ace. The distraction lets Cena get the STF and Vince sends Johnny Ace to ring the bell. Cena hits the floor and blasts Ace, saying he doesn’t want it that way. Vince and Cena have a staredown in the aisle and Cena says it’s my way. He charges back into the ring and there’s the GTS and PUNK WINS!

Rating: A+. Excellent match as I’m sure you got here as the whole thing came off as completely epic. Cena almost had to lose here due to the sake of his own safety. Vince screwing himself over is a great thing because that’s how it had to be. Great stuff here and the show ending with Punk being as popular as anyone imaginable is excellent. Awesome stuff here and an awesome show.

Vince jumps on commentary and says to kill the music. He wants Alberto out here NOW to cash in. Alberto runs out and Punk kicks him in the head almost immediately to take him down. Punk goes into the crowd and that’s probably the safest place in the world for him. The bell didn’t ring and Del Rio never cashed in officially.

Overall Rating: A. Well that was incredible. From top to bottom this was great stuff and nothing was bad on it at all. Even the Divas had looks going for them so you can’t complain there. Great stuff overall and a shocking ending, which was exactly what this needed. Zero complaints and it more than lived up to the hype. Can’t wait for tomorrow now, which is the whole point of the show. Loved it.

Results

Daniel Bryan won the Smackdown Money in the Bank Briefcase

Kelly Kelly b. Brie Bella – K2

Mark Henry b. Big Show – Splash

Alberto Del Rio won the Raw Money in the Bank Briefcase

Christian b. Randy Orton via DQ – Orton kicks Christian low

CM Punk b. John Cena – GTS

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Money in the Bank 2013
Date: July 14, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the funnest shows of the year more often than not so I have high hopes for tonight. The main events are of course the two ladder matches along with Henry challenging Cena for the Raw Title. This is one of those shows where you can just turn your brain off and enjoy some wild action so hopefully things are as fun as they have the potential to be. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Titles: Usos vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

Shield is defending. Rollins starts with Jey with the Uso quickly getting two off a backslide. Off to Reigns who gets chopped down and caught with a double suplex for two. The fans are already chanting for RVD. A double spinebuster gets two for Jey as this is one sided so far. Seth pulls Roman out of the way of a superkick as we take a break during the pre-show. Back with the Usos still in control but Rollins avoids a charge and brings in Reigns to take over.

A clothesline sends Jey off the apron and out to the floor as Shield starts making fast tags. Rollins kicks Jey in the back for two and puts on a chinlock. Jey keeps fighting back but can’t make the hot tag. Seth is sent to the floor and Reigns is kicked away but Rollins dives to break up the hot tag. Jey is knocked tot he floor for a hard clothesline from Reigns. We take ANOTHER break and come back with Jimmy diving over the top to take out the Shield. Not that we got to see the hot tag or anything, but we needed a trailer for Dead Man Down right?

Jimmy gets a VERY close two off a high cross body and the Samoan drop gets two on Rollins. Seth comes back and loads up a superplex on Jey but the other two come in to make it a Tower of Doom with Jimmy taking the worst of it. Jimmy superkicks Rollins down and hits the Superfly Splash but Reigns makes a last second save. The fans correctly think this is awesome. Rollins counters a middle rope Samoan drop into an across the ring buckle bomb, setting up the Reigns’ spear for the pin to retain at 14:50.

Rating: B. WOW this was better than I was expecting. The near falls in this were off the charts and the Usos actually had me believing they were going to win. The Shield has insane chemistry out there and the Usos proved that they can hang with them move for move. Excellent stuff here and by far the best pre-show match they’ve ever had.

The opening video is of course about money with the briefcases being loaded into an armored car. Cena and Henry get a generic video package as well.

Fandango vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Damien Sandow vs. Jack Swagger vs. Antonio Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Wade Barrett

Colter does his usual anti foreigners rant about being in one of the founding cities of America. “Maybe Betsy Ross should have put a taco and a burrito on the flag.” It’s a huge brawl to start and I’m not going to be able to keep up with most of the action in the ladder matches tonight. The two teams lay everyone else out and bring in a ladder each. Cesaro hits the gutwrench suplex to send Cody into the ladder before shouting WE THE PEOPLE. The Scholars take Cesaro the floor but Ambrose stops Swagger from climbing.

Ambrose, the crowd favorite, is left alone in the ring but Barrett makes the save. Barrett kicks Ambrose in the face, knocking the ladder on top of him in the process. Fandango kicks the ladder into Barrett’s face and hits a slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Barrett. Sandow makes the save as Dean knocks Rhodes off the top rope with another ladder. Fandango is sent face first into the ladder and suplexed onto the one in the corner for good measure. Cesaro makes a climb but has to stop Ambrose with a hanging chinlock off the ladder.

Cody makes the save and hits a Samoa Joe MuscleBuster to send Cesaro into a ladder. Barrett makes the save with a broken rung of a ladder in a new idea. He and Swagger go up now with Wade BLASTING him with the elbow to knock Swagger off. Fandango makes the save but Ambrose catches him with the bulldog driver off the bottom rung. Dean does the windmill spot with the ladder on his head but the Real Americans grab either end to break it up. They lift Ambrose in the air to choke him out but Ambrose skins the cat in mid air in an AWESOME spot. The Americans dump him to the floor but there’s no ladder left.

Cesaro gets on Swagger’s shoulders but Cody hits a springboard dropkick to take them both out. Cross Rhodes lays out Fandango and Barrett but he shouts instead of getting a ladder. He finally gets the big ladder but is met on top by Ambrose for a slugout. Cody rams him face first into the ladder over and over but Rollins and Reigns come out to break it up.

They run interference of everyone else in the match but here are the Usos to take the tag champions out. Cesaro and Swagger get in on the brawl as well but Ambrose is going up. Rhodes makes the save and shoves the ladder over, sending Ambrose onto everyone else. Cody is all alone but Sandow comes in out of nowhere to steal the case at 16:40.

Rating: B. This was solid but it was a step below a lot of these matches. The Ambrose and Shield stuff was great but I’m really not feeling the winner. Sandow hasn’t won a thing of note in like a year but he wins one match and we’re supposed to buy him as a main event level guy now? It doesn’t work that way but WWE can’t get that through their thick heads. Fans don’t forget wins and losses like the writers do.

Here’s Brad Maddox with something to say. He’s glad to be the GM and even though he can’t replace Vickie (“I don’t look good in high heels”) he’s put Vickie on the expert panel. She gets a spotlight followed by a video tribute to her on the Titantron. It’s a lot of her embarrassing moments followed by a standing boo for her. This is finally broken up by the start of the next match.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Curtis Axel

Axel is defending. Miz gets a quick cover off a shoulder block but Axel takes him into the corner for control. Curtis is sent to the floor and caught by a baseball slide before Miz sends him back inside. Miz stares Heyman down, claps his hands and falls down. The referee looks at Heyman and ejects him for allegedly hitting Miz. Smart move there. Axel takes over with a dropkick but the fans are MUCH quieter now. The Hennig necksnap gets two and we hit an armbar.

Back up and Miz avoids a charge in the corner but the fans do not care at all. A big boot puts Axel down and the corner clothesline sets up the top rope ax handle for two. Axel comes back with a PerfectPlex for two but Miz hits his one kick to the leg and puts on the Figure Four. Curtis reverses but gets turned over again, only to be right in the ropes for the break. Axel bails to the floor for a second before coming back in for his neckbreaker into a cutter for the pin to retain at 9:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but it had no heat at all. People just don’t care about Miz at all and the Figure Four is a big reason why. It’s just a horrible move for him and comes off like a lame Ric Flair tribute, which is pretty much what it is. Nothing to see here but it was a way to let the fans breathe a bit after the big match.

Summerslam ad, which is basically All Grown Up from Wrestlemania a few years ago.

Divas Title: Kaitlyn vs. AJ Lee

AJ is defending and this has been a very well built feud. They used to be friends but Kaitlyn went after the title instead of helping AJ when she was having relationship issues, so AJ turned on her and has taken everything Kaitlyn cares about. Kaitlyn has a bad elbow coming in and is with Layla here. Kaitlyn gets a quick two off a gutbuster but is sent into the post on the floor. AJ works on the arm with a bridging armbar (almost a one arm Cattle Mutilation) before hooking a crossface chickenwing of all things.

Back up and Kaitlyn fires off a dropkick and a big shoulder followed by the reverse DDT for two. AJ slaps her in the face so Kaitlyn takes her head off with a clothesline. Kaitlyn knocks her off the apron but Langston catches her in midair. The spear connects back inside but Kaitlyn hurts her elbow again. AJ hooks the Black Widow submission out of nowhere and Kaitlyn taps at 7:03.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but it worked well enough. Kaitlyn looked good with the power stuff (and the tight outfit) while AJ needed to be a bit more evil. I doubt this is over yet because that’s how WWE works, but the matches and story have been WAY better than anyone expected them to be.

The expert panel (Big Show, Kofi Kingston and Vickie) talk about the show so far.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.

Video on the opening of the WWE Performance Center.

We recap Ziggler vs. Del Rio. Ziggler won the world title through his MITB case the night after Wrestlemania then got injured on Smackdown. Del Rio went after Ziggler’s head to win the title at Payback so tonight it’s about revenge and the title for Dolph.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Ziggler gets an AMAZING pop. Feeling out process to start until Ziggler gets two off a dropkick. Ten straight elbow drops (with the fans counting along) have Del Rio in trouble and he falls out to the floor. Back in and Del Rio scores with a running enziguri before sending Ziggler hard into the barricade. We hit the chinlock as the fans are nearly comatose for Del Rio. Can you blame them? There’s NOTHING interesting about him at all. Ziggler misses a splash in the corner and Del Rio does that stupid smile of his.

Del Rio pounds on the back but misses a charge, sending him out to the floor. He tries to come in off the top but gets caught in a top rope X Factor for two. A Ziggler neckbreaker gets two and a Del Rio German suplex gets the same. The corner enziguri misses and Ziggler gets a close two off the Fameasser. It’s amazing how much the crowd is into Ziggler. Del Rio gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Ziggler gets the same by dropkicking Del Rio off the top.

Cue AJ to skip around the ring before Ziggler counters another tilt-a-whirl into a jumping DDT for two. Ziggler tells AJ to leave but the distraction allows Alberto to crotch him on the top. A reverse superplex gets two on Dolph and the low superkick gets the same. Del Rio lowers his knee pad to reveal the knee brace but Ziggler avoids the shot…..and AJ hits Del Rio with the Divas Title for the DQ at 14:27.

Rating: C+. This was getting good until the stupid ending. I have no idea what WWE’s obsession is with dragging out stories for as long as they can anymore but they need to get over it. This feud isn’t doing anything for anyone and it just keeps going. Either split up AJ and give Dolph the title or move on to something else. The match was good though.

Dolph yells at AJ post match and walks away, making Ziggler look like the jerk in the whole thing.

Video on WWE supporting the military.

Recap of Henry vs. Cena with Henry faking retirement and laying Cena out. He said the WWE Championship is the only thing he’s never won and he wants that one big run with the title. One thing WWE has done right in the last few years is make the WWE Championship seem like a MUCH bigger deal.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Mark Henry

Cena is of course booed out of the building. The champion charges at Henry and bounces off of him like a wall. Henry shoves him into the corner and a running splash gets two. Cena is front suplexed onto the steps for two as this is one sided so far. The fans chant Sexual Chocolate because that’s what smark crowds do for a Henry match as Mark drops a leg on the back of Cena’s neck. Henry throws Cena down and then out to the floor as the domination continues.

Back in and Henry stands around but misses a charge in the corner. Cena can’t slam him so Henry cranks on the neck a bit. John gets back up and hits the shoulder blocks followed by the Shuffle but Cena still can’t hit the AA. Henry falls on top for two but Cena counters a slam into most of a spinning DDT. Cena FINALLY hits the AA but it’s only good for two. The high cross is caught in a World’s Strongest Slam for two so Henry pulls the turnbuckle pad off. He also brings in a chair but as the referee is dealing with that, Henry pulls off another buckle.

Cena counters a whip into the buckle and hooks the STF but Mark easily gets to the rope. Henry gets two off a low blow but another World’s Strongest Slam is countered into the STF with Cena dragging Henry back to the middle of the ring. Henry taps out to retain Cena’s title at 14:40.

Rating: C. This was exactly what you would expect from this match. Henry came off like a monster of the month for the entirety of the buildup and that’s exactly what he was here. Nothing in this match made me care about it because no one believed Cena was in any real danger. It wasn’t horrible or anything but it came and went and nothing more.

We hear from the expert panel who have nothing interesting to say.

Video on the Wyatts attacking Kane.

CM Punk vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Christian vs. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

RVD, Bryan and Punk get good reactions but the fans aren’t impressed with the others. Everyone goes after RVD to start and knock him to the floor. The remaining four go after Sheamus before pairing off themselves. We’re quickly down to Bryan vs. Punk and the fans go nuts in a hurry. Van Dam is knocked off the apron and into a ladder as the two stars go at it. Bryan almost botches the backflip but counters the GTS into a YES Lock attempt, only to have everyone not named RVD make the save with a ladder.

Van Dam is back in now to clean house and pose a bit. Some baseball slides drop Punk and Sheamus before Rob drops Christian onto a ladder. Rolling Thunder onto Bryan onto the ladder takes Daniel out but it’s Orton sending Van Dam to the floor. Rob kicks him down and loads up the Five Star onto Orton onto the ladder but Christian breaks it up with a short ladder. Christian loses a fight to Sheamus over a full sized ladder but Van Dam breaks up the pale one’s climb with Sheamus landing on the ladder on the way down.

Sheamus is up almost immediately and rams various people into the barricade before bridging a ladder between the apron and the announce table. Bryan escapes a powerbomb through the ladder and hits a running knee to the face from the apron. Punk is loading up a ladder but Orton makes the save. Another ladder is brought in and all six climb up on two ladders with the briefcase being knocked away. All six fall down and Orton is holding his knee.

It’s Sheamus on his feet first and cleaning house before going up, only to be caught by Bryan. We get the ten forearms on the top of the ladder but Punk stops Sheamus from pulling down the case. Sheamus and Punk slug it out in the corner but Punk hits the running knee to take him down, followed by riding the ladder down onto his back. Orton comes back in and suplexes Punk into the ladder followed by the Elevated DDT.

Christian comes back in and spears Randy down but Van Dam knocks him off the ladder. The fans of course want tables as Christian goes up again. Van Dam is cut on the forehead. They both go up but Van Dam jumps to another ladder as Christian falls. The splash off the top of the ladder crushes Christian but Sheamus shoves Rob off the ladder. Bryan is back in to kick both of them before going into his usual insane rush.

He throws Sheamus THROUGH a ladder and goes up top…..but Curtis Axel of all people comes out with a chair to beat him down. He lays Bryan out with his finisher on the floor but walks into a GTS. Heyman comes out to yell at Axel because he wants Punk to win. CM starts a very slow climb while holding his neck….and Heyman of course screws him by ramming another ladder into him. Punk is busted open BAD and here’s Van Dam going up the ladder, only to have Orton make the save with an RKO. Orton pulls down the case to win at 26:31.

Rating: B-. Well that happened. Seriously that’s about all there is to it. Everyone was about the same but the winner wasn’t terribly obvious for most of the match. It wasn’t bad or anything but you expect more when you have this level of talent in the match. At the end of the day though there was no hatred between these guys and that makes for a duller match. The Heyman stuff was pretty obvious but it sets up Lesnar vs. Punk at Summerslam.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t terrible but aside from maybe the ladder matches, there’s nothing interesting on here at all. Everything felt like it was just there to fill in a spot on the card which isn’t what you expect from a show like this. It’s not a horrible show but there’s nothing worth going out of your way to see here. Believe it or not, Payback blew the doors off this show.

Results

Shield b. Usos – Spear to Jimmy

Damien Sandow b. Cody Rhodes, Antonio Cesaro, Jack Swagger, Fandango, Dean Ambrose and Wade Barrett – Sandow pulled down the briefcase

AJ Lee b. Kaitlyn – Black Widow

Ryback b. Chris Jericho – Rollup

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when AJ Lee interefered

John Cena b. Mark Henry – STF

Randy Orton b. Rob Van Dam, Sheamus, CM Punk, Christian and Daniel Bryan – Orton pulled down the briefcase

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

It’s not who you would think.Sandow won.  This falls under the “let’s have them lose every match for months but give them one win and expect people to care” category.

Night of Champions 2008
Date: June 29, 2008
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 16,151
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Mike Adamle, Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Tazz, Mick Foley

So after the whole Benoit thing, they guys decided that calling it VENGEANCE was a bad idea so Night of Champions was born. This is kind of a finale to Vengeance but kind of not but that doesn’t really matter. As you likely know, everything here is a title match so there’s that fun aspect at least. The card is ok at best with Cena vs. HHH as the main event. This was a really bad time for the company as the cards just sucked. Also, HHH and Edge are the champions and both are on Smackdown. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about being a champion. Well at least they kept it simple. Batista is after Edge and La Familia. It’s his last title shot too. Cena wants HHH and HHH wants Cena. Good to see that they care about each other.

Shinedown is doing the theme song. Things are looking up.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a freaking midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We get a quick thing on Mania 22 where HHH tapped to Cena to end the show. There’s a text thing as to who wins tonight: Cena, Batista, both or none. I’d answer but I know it already. I’ll do it anyway: Both.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Matt Hardy

La Familia gets their first match here and you can feel the idea of the stable dying every moment. Chavo has Bam Neeley with him here and is challenging. Ross says Hardy is popular and talented. Make your own jokes. That’s not really fair as Matt tries to an extent but when he’s most commonly associated with Edge, Christian and Jeff, he looks pretty weak by comparison.

The crowd is very behind Hardy here. I’ve never gotten why he’s so incredibly popular. He’s nowhere near as bad as he’s made out to be but he’s no second coming of Austin or anything. They’ve been fighting for about five minutes so far and nothing of note has happened really. Chavo works on his knee for some psychology. Did you expect a Guerrero to not have something in there?

Side Effect gets two and a solid pop. Chavo gets a half crab as this match just isn’t doing anything for me. It’s ok, but there’s just nothing here of substance at all. Matt does some stuff and then Chavo does some stuff, then they repeat it. Chavo goes Three Amigos which gets booed in Texas. That’s just odd. And Matt counters out of nowhere into a Twist of Fate to retain. Well that was abrupt.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t very good at all. It wasn’t horrible I guess but at the same time this just had nothing special about it at all. The match was like 9 minutes long and it just came and went. It’s a match that felt like a match for the sake of having a title match which isn’t something you want to see.

Tony Dorsett is here. OH YES!

We recap the Vince gets crushed thing which went nowhere.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Oh it’s Mike Adamle again. He would be Raw GM soon enough and things went bad to an extent. Tazz has to anchor the commentary here and that just is not going to work. Show won a match at One Night Stand to get here and Henry is here because Vince wants him to be. Kane comes in as champion. Seriously, give him a world title reign. The guy has to job to people like Henry and people wonder why he doesn’t stay over. By the way Kane is on Raw after the Draft six days before this and the US Title is on ECW. God bless WWE logic.

We get big match intros for the first time tonight which is kind of weird. Adamle is trying here and I can always give him credit for something like that. Oh seriously what are you expecting here? Kane is the smallest guy in this match. What do you think they’re doing? Of course: tapdancing. Yeah that joke sucked. Anyway they’re just doing power stuff that is supposed to impress us and it would if we hadn’t seen these guys fight like 100 times each before.

Kane comes back up and gets a solid pop. They had the white ropes even back in 08? I never noticed that before. The bald guys hit a double chokeslam on Henry and then they fight. Stop me if this sounds like every other triple threat match ever. Show hits Kane with one as well and since Henry is a big fat tub of goo, Kane has to kick out on his own. You know,

Adamle really isn’t that bad. He truly isn’t. He just gets such a bad reputation for what he would do later on. He didn’t have a background for this and got thrown on the top company in the world and did his best. Kane puts Show down and then Henry splashes him in the corner for the pin. This would result in him getting his huge belt soon afterwards.

Rating: D+. Not bad again but still just a big mess as these three had nothing of note as far as working together went. Kane was the most agile guy out there and he was down for a good chunk of this. Matches like these rarely work and this was no exception. Henry got pushed for no reason at all and his reign bombed. Matt Hardy would take it like 3 months later. Kane would turn heel like the next night.

Batista is with Eve who is still an interviewer here. He says that he’s not going back to Raw empty handed. He says he’s going to be the man on Raw and Cena is right there in front of him. Cena says Dave might not be the only champion by the end of the night. And here’s Punk, saying he hopes they both win because the briefcase is getting heavy.

Raw Tag Titles: Ted DiBiase/??? Vs. Cody Rhodes/Hardcore Holly

Holly and Rhodes have held the titles since December and everyone is sick of them. Also, everyone and their mother knows that Cody is the one jumping here. DiBiase has been around like two weeks at this point so he’s the hottest thing on the planet. His first catchphrase, “Everybody’s got a price, but I’m priceless” more or less blew the Raw LD to pieces. Lillian should wear red forever. She just should.

Rhodes and Holly are both in lime green tights. This is Ted’s debut. Lillian says here is his partner but Ted grabs the mic and says his partner is on his way and he needs ten minutes. Threatened with forfeiting, Ted says start it and the partner will get here. Cody starts but Ted wants Holly. He’s the only one I’d bet. And immediately there it is: Cody kicks Holly in the ribs and hits a DDT, forming what would become Legacy. Cody also becomes the first person to ever lose and win a tag title in the same match. Well kind of I guess. No rating, but a cool moment considering what these guys would become.

HHH has a new DVD.

JBL is in a private box and is mad that he’s not on the Night of Champions PPV. Todd says because he isn’t a champion and JBL’s slow turn is great. His promos really were awesome but his matches just flat out sucked for the most part. He runs down Dallas for not winning anything. This really is a great promo.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. ???

Jericho is still a face here but that wouldn’t last long. Ah he’s in the middle of his turn here. That makes sense. The mystery opponent is not HBK according to Jericho due to him injuring Shawn more than once already. Jericho in long tights just doesn’t look right for some reason. I was at a house show about a week later and his eye seemed fine to me. Jericho says he’s an honest man. Oh dang it’s he’s Alberto Del Rio now. Some Jamaican music cuts Jericho off and the opponent is Kofi.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi has been on Raw for six days at this point, having come over from ECW in the Draft. People knew he had something but the universal response was that this was too soon for him. This is more or less his big debut. Kofi starts busting out stuff that is normal for him now but back in the day was brand new stuff. Kofi hits that Frog Splash cross body for two.

The problem is that since not a lot of people watch ECW, not a lot of people know much about Kofi. You get a feeling here that they’re just kind of meandering along waiting on the big finish, which should be pretty clear if you’re paying attention. The fans chant boring for no apparent reason. The match is slow but not boring. Kofi starts busting out the insane dropkicks to kill the chants and hits the Boom Drop which has no name yet.

The Walls are blocked and another Boom Drop gets a long two. Jericho busts out the Liontamer and Shawn finally makes the required run in to distract Jericho so Kofi can kick him right in the forearm for the pin and his first title. This was what the IC Title was supposed to be about: a young guy that needs some credibility getting a title to give him some. Post match Shawn is helped out and Jericho punches him in his bad eye.

Rating: C+. Kofi wasn’t anywhere near what he would become but he was still pretty good. Jericho put him over here and the ending was solid. Kingston wasn’t ready to beat Jericho yet and he didn’t. Has Jericho ever beaten Kofi clean? I think he has but I’m not sure. Anyway, this was more about furthering the Shawn/Jericho feud without making Shawn go for the IC Title and on that front it did very well.

Edge complains to his cronies (including wedding planner Alicia Fox and the Edgeheads: Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder) that he doesn’t need any help tonight.

We see the debut of the Vince/Cena razor commercial. Thank you for wasting that 30 seconds of my life.

Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Katie Lea

Katie won some tags to get here. Yeah whatever. Katie goes after the arm and this is just going nowhere. The fans are totally dead and there is just no point to this. Mickie uses a bunch of kicks because of her arm and this is just bad. Katie locks in an armbar but forgets to bend it the right way so it looks completely awful. And then Mickie uses the bad arm for the DDT and wins it. That somehow went on for seven minutes.

Rating: F. Oh this just failed. That’s all there is to it. Mickie’s selling was bad, the offense was bad, the ending was bad, the crowd was bad, are you getting that this was bad? Yeah moving on.

We get the results of the poll and it’s more or less a three way tie between Batista, Cena and both with neither getting 7% of the vote.

Recap of Edge vs. Batista. Edge won the title and got rid of Taker so Batista challenged him because Big Dave liked being in title matches. Batista goes to Raw after this so it’s his last shot.

World Heavyweight Championship: Edge vs. Batista

I have to use the proper names since both belts are on Smackdown at the moment. The champion comes out first again for some reason. That’s happened most of the night for some reason. JR tries to figure out what the R stands for in the Rated-R Superstar. Well no one ever accused JR of being up with the times. Batista gets a very solid pop. His pyro has to be heard to be believed.

Batista of course dominates to start us off as Edge is more or less trying to survive the opening part of the match. He busts out a Jackhammer and gets a small Goldberg chant. He’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t throw chops I guess. He then goes through the table to give Edge a chance. All of the papers sticking to his back is funny for some reason to me.

Edge keeps trying to make Batista miss including sending him into the middle turnbuckle. Ross informs us that the buckle isn’t covered in barbecue sauce. I hope he donates his brain to science. That would be interesting beyond belief to look at. The crowd pops like mad for a single punch from Batista. Edge busts out a neckbreaker which Batista gets caught with. Yeah I know: Edge using a wrestling move. In a cool looking move, Edge goes for Edge-O-Matic but Batista just throws his head forward and sends Edge flying. That was pure power and looked great.

Batista hits a clothesline that would have knocked Edge out cold back in 04. A Boss Man Slam gets two. I love that move. He follows it up with a GREAT spear. Instead of jumping on him his shoulder just popped into Edge’s ribs which makes it look and sound completely awesome. Batista Bomb is blocked into the Edgecution for two as this is getting good. How many times has Edge gotten kicked in the face when he goes for the spear?

Batista goes up and gets kicked in the face for his troubles. And here’s La Familia of course, Hawkins, Ryder and Vickie in this case. Batista leap frogs over a spear and hits the spinebuster but Vickie grabs the referee to tick off the crowd. Edge pulls the referee to the floor and pops him to try to get disqualified. Vickie wants another referee so here’s Chavo.

They’re going for Vickie as Vince here and it’s just not working. Batista throws her over the ropes onto La Familia and by that I mean LAUNCHES her in a great looking visual. There’s your reason to see this show: you get to see a pig fly. Well it was funny to me. A belt shot and a Chavo count ends it.

Rating: B-. Pretty decent match here but really nothing all that great. If you chop about five minutes off this then it’s a much better match. There was too much just killing time at the beginning and in the middle to make the ending work. The last five minutes were quite good but the first ten to twelve were just ok which holds this back. Still a good match though.

Batista takes forever to leave as they want this to be some big farewell match. That would work a lot better if this wasn’t a Raw and Smackdown show, meaning you’ll see him the next night.

Ad for the Great American Bash which is apparently about blowing up cars.

HHH says he’s going to do what he should have done at Mania. He’s going to put Cena over again?

We get the big match deal as this is apparently supposed to be as big as Foley winning the title, Hogan vs. Rock or Hogan vs. Andre. Well first of all Foley isn’t nearly as big as either of those. We see a ton of other moments like Eddie beating Brock, Shawn winning, Flair winning, Austin winning and then Cena vs. HHH II. I mean….really?

WWE Championship: HHH vs. John Cena

Cena gets mostly a face pop. Cole says if you aren’t excited about this then you should go home. Wouldn’t people hearing his voice be at home for the most of the time? Is he saying go back to live with your parents because it’ll make the world better? I hate when these shows get all preachy. We get big match intros and Cena is booed LOUDLY. Yeah HHH is the face here. Lillian sounds like she’s sneezing when she says H.

They even check the boots and tights. This really is a big match so they’re treating it like one. They feel each other out a lot to start and HHH hits a hip toss and throws in a crotch chop because DX is AWESOME right? They both show each other up and then are like screw this and start throwing bombs. Cena hits move #4 and gets two. He goes for the flying tackles and HHH uses that incredible mind and ducks to send Cena flying. I love basic counters like that.

The crowd seems a bit confused but they’re certainly interested in this. Cena takes FOREVER to set up You Can’t See Me and gets kicked in the chest for his efforts or lack thereof in this case. The standing around here is getting pretty stupid as they’re just waiting on moves to be done to them. The top rope Fameasser is more or less just a boot to the back of the head since HHH messed it up pretty badly.

STFU doesn’t hook but you know it’s coming. He takes too long AGAIN on You Can’t See Me and gets kneed in the face for his troubles. Pedigree doesn’t work and HHH is thrown to the floor where he hurts his knee. At least it’s not his quad. Cena acts a little heelish and goes for the knee. It’s smart strategy but because of the circumstances it’s making him the heel in this match. That my friends, is basic heel/face psychology.

He wraps HHH’s leg around the post as this is pretty solid stuff. They fight over the STFU which looks sloppy but cool at the same time. Pedigree hits out of nowhere but his knee is hurt so it’s only two. BIG pop for the kickout. FU hits for two also. HHH is selling the heck out of that knee. They slug it out with nothing but right hands and Cole has completely stopped talking for some reason. Ah there he is.

Cena hits the Protoplex and finally hits You Can’t See Me (yes I know that isn’t the proper name). It gets two of course, probably because it’s a stupud fist drop. STFU is locked WAY in as I’m pretty sure the knee isn’t supposed to go like that. HHH counters into a Crossface that looks like crap. In a cool counter, Cena stands up into the FU but it doesn’t hit. A Pedigree ends it.

Rating: B+. Solid match here but by no means as great a match as they would want us to believe. It felt like two guys trying to have a great match rather than a great match. That’s not the best wording but that’s how it came off. HHH should have won to even up the rivalry but they’re REALLY overhyping this. It’s good but it’s not that good.

One last thing: as HHH is posing, Lawler says he doesn’t want to be crass but they beat the heck out of each other. After everything else he’s said he’s worried about THAT?

Overall Rating: C+. Well this was in a way built around two matches and those were both good. Other than that though the show just didn’t do it for me. Too many of the matches were just there for the sake of having title matches and that’s never a good thing. The show is ok, but just ok. It got better the next year but the company as a whole was better than too. Check out the main event and that’s about it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Vengeance 2005
Date: June 26, 2005
Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,850
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

It’s a Raw show this time as we’re still in the middle of the stupid single brand shows and will be for over another year. This is a two match show, but DANG these are two great matches. We have Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels the sequel and Batista vs. HHH in Hell in a Cell in the Mania rematch. Also we have Christian vs. Jericho vs. Cena in a three way for the other Raw title. For over three weeks both belts were on Raw which was rather stupid but whatever. There are only six matches on the card, so I’d think that sums this up pretty well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Cena being new to Raw and Batista not knowing what he’s doing in HIAC. Ok then. You can tell Big Dave is serious here: he calls HHH Hunter. Far more time spent on those two which makes sense I guess.

The arena has a casino theme. At least that makes sense.

IntercontinentalTitle: Carlitovs. SheltonBenjamin

This is about a month after the infamous Shelton vs. Shawn match so Shelton is the hottest thing in the company. Well he was until he dropped the title to Carlito who is still in the purple shorts six days prior to this. Coach is already annoying the heck out of me and we’re 6 minutes into the entire broadcast. This isn’t very interesting at all, although you could say the same thing about most of the Raw shows from this era.

Shelton is still pretty awesome as he continues dominating Carlito. Carly tries to run but Shelton decides he’s the better released guy and stops that. Apparently Benjamin has a concussion. That wouldn’t be allowed today but this was a simpler time I guess. He hits a sweet clothesline from the top and can’t immediately cover because of his head. The more recently fired one takes over and they actually chant for him. That’s a different one.

Let’s hit that chinlock! Shelton hits a Samoan Drop as we’ve got all kinds of cultures in this match. I want to punch Coach in the face. Carlito keeps trying to get a turnbuckle pad off and finally manages to do so. Those three words are fun to type in a row. I love the Dragon Whip, especially how it always hits people. Does no one watch tape? He gets the pad off and Shelton eats steal on the Stinger Splash. You know the rest.

Rating: D+. Not bad but a bit long and a bit boring at times. That and with the title change happening 6 days prior to this, there was no drama at all over who was winning. Carlito was somehow even less interesting at this point if you can believe that. I’ve seen worse though.

HHH and Flair are here.

Ross calls the Cell Satan’s Spa of Pain and Suffering. WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THESE THINGS?

We recap Christy Hemme vs. Victoria. This is over a swimsuit contest. Oh and Victoria (Tara) is insane, even though she has that idiotic I Ain’t The Lady to Mess With song.

ChristyHemmevs. Victoria

They start fast and Victoria does all kinds of evil things to Christy. This is non-title also since the title is on Smackdown at the moment. The cards in the set change based on who is in the current match. The fans don’t really care either. Lawler says this is about looks or whatever. Christy botches the heck out of a sunset flip. Yeah I’m stunned too.

Ross freaks because Christy can do a DDT. She can do one of the least complex moves of all time and she gets cheered for it. She goes for another sunset flip and Victoria drops down and grabs the ropes for the heel pin.

Rating: D-. The lack of failing is because these are two of the hottest Divas of all time. The match was totally awful though, if you didn’t guess that part.

Cena is with Todd Grisham, and talks about being the new kid. This is still rapper Cena which makes him sound like a guy that doesn’t belong in the spot that he’s in. This is greatly disturbing. In something very good though, he keeps that theme throughout the whole interview. That’s very nice indeed and it works very well as I like this promo.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. They met in the finals of a tournament for the #1 contenders’ spot and Lita turned on her husband Kane to join Edge. This was one that made people feel very sorry for Kane which was a great idea. Edge also married Lita on Raw, or at least tried to as Kane came up from under the ring which was an awesome moment. Keep in mind that I’m a big Kane mark. Kane tombstoning the minister is just awesome stuff.

Edgevs. Kane

I vaguely remember wanting to see this match. Wow I was about to be a senior in high school back then. Kane looks like a legitimate awesome face at this point. In something I like, Kane does the ten punches in the corner and then just goes off with punches, getting up to probably 25 or so. The fans want Matt, who is gone. In real life, Matt and Lita were dating and Lita left him for Edge, so WWE of course turned it into an angle. Have to love those heartfelt guys.

Kane stays ticked off as he’s dominating this for the most part. Edge would be world champion in like 7 months so I’d say he wound up winning this one. The spear hits on the floor to hit the formula in full stride. Lawler gets in a decent line on JR, saying that in Oklahoma Hee-Haw was a documentary. Kane Kanes Up and JR says he’s setting Edge on fire here. Again, what does that mean?

Crowd is WAY into Kane here oddly enough. Edge hits a nice dropkick to block the top rope clothesline. Dang Lita is frighteningly skinny here. Snitsky comes out and interferes THREE FREAKING TIMES. Seriously, is there no reason at all to not have two referees in kayfabe? Not that I can think of. Anyway, eventually Edge accidentally hits Gene with the MITB case, chokeslam ends it.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid upper midcard match, but Snitsky’s run in hurt it. The main thing here is that it gave Kane a clean pin over Edge, which makes Kane a big time threat again. Also, it’s nice seeing him getting a big win as they’re rare for him which to me sucks but whatever. Either way, this was pretty good.

We recap Angle vs. Michaels, which mostly was everyone wanting a rematch after their classic at Mania, sort of like what Taker did but less intense.

Shawn says Vengeance will be his. See what he did there? Nice one. Imagine me saying that in the cheesiest voice imaginable.

KurtAnglevs. ShawnMichaels

This should be good and I believe Becca says it’s Shawn’s best match so that’s saying a lot. Seriously, what purpose does Coach serve? I know he’s supposed to be the heel analyst, but he makes points that Jerry should be making so Jerry, who is far better, has less to do. We get a long feeling out/technical sequence to start which I can’t complain at all about. Angle takes over with some solid stuff on the mat but we’re still mostly in the feeling out stage at this point.

Angle hooks a half crab to start working on the ankle. Nice. For a guy his size, Shawn could throw one heck of a chop. He hits a spinning sunset flip off the middle rope but Angle turns it into the ankle lock. This is a chess game and it’s working very well even though we’re only about 5 minutes in. Angle hits the slam on the table which doesn’t break for a FREAKING OW moment. We even get a freaking turnbuckle powerbomb. That just looks awesome every time.

It’s all Kurt here but you can tell they’re in for a long one here. Basically what we have is how much can Shawn take, as he’s getting beaten up very badly here but he keeps countering the finishers. Angle’s lip is bleeding and Shawn is bleeding just under his eye. This is a very slow build but the crowd is staying in it so that is certainly acceptable. Shawn hits his flying forearm and the nip up gets a great pop. His selling really is great stuff. However he does the longest set up for the Sweet Chin Music of all time and Angle easily blocks it. That took almost 30 seconds to set up.

Shawn keeps covering after a DDT which is what Angle did to Shawn earlier on. I love little things like that. Angle comes back with Rolling Germans and an Angle Slam for two as we approach epicness. There goes the referee of course. Has there ever been a big match where the referee didn’t go down? Shawn takes a GREAT bump to the floor off a back drop. He was in free fall and just crashed, hurting his knee. Lawler goes on a semi rant talking about how you can’t get medical attention during a match.

Where is that kind of talk recently? Shawn stays in the ankle lock for the better part of ever but FINALLY counters as Angle hits the post. Angle goes for Shawn but OUT OF NOWHERE Shawn hits the superkick. Of course it’s just two as the referee counts to eight on both guys. Coach makes my head hurt a lot by saying he’s never seen anyone kick out of Sweet Chin Music. Angle goes up top for a double axe handle of all things but comes down into the boot for the pin.

Rating: A. This was a fine wrestling match. These two are absolute masters out there and this is no exception at all as both worked very hard with great selling and back and forth work. This is a classic in every sense of the word and definitely should be seen.

Angle gets an ovation as he leaves just like he should.

Great American Bash ad which is mainly about Torrie.

Coach talks to Batista, who says he’s not scared and he’s going to get his revenge tonight. He words it a lot better. HHH comes up and I want to submit to his mustache. Pull apart brawl ends this.

Lillian Garcia is here…uh just because I guess. This is something about Viscera apparently. What was Vince’s obsession with large black men being obsessed with sex? I smell a Godfather cameo here. Lillian deserves an Oscar and a raise for this. She sings a song for him which is a great song but it helps to not look at the screen except when she’s on it. She proposes to him, crowd pops, cue Godfather. I was right. I want a hat with a feather in it like that.

Godfather offers him 5 Ho’s and of course he takes them. Was there a point to this other than to have Lillian look all sad and depressed? This is horrible yet hilarious. Ah that’s right: since we have single brand PPVs we only have 6 matches so we get pointless filler like this. Can you imagine Lawler having sex with that creepy smile never leaving his face? That’s just bizarre sounding.

We recap the triple threat which started with Cena being the top pick in the draft and Christian and Tomko yelling at him. Christian get the #1 contender spot and Jericho is mad about it. Jericho turned heel to set up a 3-1 beatdown. The language and mannerisms here are so different from today that it’s insane.

RawWorldTitle (WWE): ChrisJerichovs. Christianvs. JohnCena

So Christian was about 3 months away from leaving and Jericho was about 2 months away, so this is one of their last big matches. At the moment Christian is little more than a midcarder in over his head. Christian’s music is just odd sounding when it’s at that slower pace. Actually all three of these guys have had almost the same music for almost five years. That’s very different. Oh and the spinner is new at this point. Wow that was freaking idiotic.

The one now isn’t nearly as bad as it used to be. Lawler bets on Christian and Ross doesn’t make a pick. That was a waste of time. Tomko interferes and is out. These are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly comprised of one on one segments and then a save before repeating about three times and go to the finish. Cena hits the FU on Christian to the floor to give us Jericho vs. Cena which is ok I guess. Apparently Cena’s CD is out at the moment.

Earlier Cena complained about Jericho using the WWE Title to sell records. That’s just hilarious actually because Cena is a hypocrite with his rap album. Lionsault of course misses and now Jericho is alone in the ring. The fans pop for the table being uncovered. We hit match number two as Christian and Cena go at it. Wow it’s weird to hear Christian being called a veteran. It’s time for the heels to fight now which would be a main event today but is a clash of the upper midcard here.

We get a Tower of Doom as Christian gets suplexed and Jericho is powerbombed by Cena. Nice one too. In another nice spot, Cena drop toeholds Christian’s head into Jericho’s and hits a double 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Tomko takes Cena down but Christian only gets two. The Walls are applied and of course they don’t work since this is a Chris Jericho match. Cena gets Christian in the FU and kicks Jericho in the face to get the pin.

Rating: B+. This took a long time to get going but the last five minutes are very good. They actually did some three person spots in there which make this feel like a triple threat match where anyone could win. There was little to no drama but at the same time this wound up working very well indeed and I liked it a lot.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. HHH as they had been in Evolution together but after Batista won the Rumble he overheard HHH and Flair talking about how they have Big Dave around their little finger. Batista turned face more or less by force as he was so popular there was no other choice. He beat HHH at Mania and then at Backlash so HHH left Raw for a few weeks before coming back for a beatdown and challenging him to this. This really was a well built up feud and it feels like a huge match.

RawWorldTitle (World): Batistavs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so freaking paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH NO, OW and DANG I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his legs but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. Man HHH got thrown over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the tar out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

OverallRating: A-. That might be a bit high but with two GREAT matches and one that’s very good along with a decent Kane/Edge match, an ok opener and Christy looking great, what more can you ask for here? Angle vs. Shawn is a great wrestling match and the main event is a great sports entertainment match. Either way you can’t go wrong. Throw in a very good Cena match and the last hour and a half of this show are about as perfect as you can get. GREAT show and definitely go check this out.a

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Starrcade from Amazon for just $4 at:

Why do so many people think this match isn’t happening?  You need seven people for the match right?  Here are some options:Rhodes

Sandow

Ambrose

Sin Cara

Rey Mysterio

Khali

Cesaro

Langston

Big Show

Fandango

Miz

Barrett

Axel

R-Truth

There are a TON of people you could throw in there.  Why do so many people think it’s not happening?