Night of Champions 2010: Throwing Back A Six Pack

Night of Champions 2010
Date: September 19, 2010
Location: Allstate Arena, Rosemont, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Since this PPV is all about champions, take a guess as to what it’s about. That’s right: pancakes. I prefer them with just syrup but some people actually like butter. I’m not a butter fan so I never use it. Ok the show is starting now so I’m out of jokes. I could go for some Aunt Jemima though.

One thing I wonder: what are Paper Jams? Paper related music? A jelly substitute made from trees? Wow syrup and jam already. Hopefully no one lays an egg or we’ll have a decent breakfast.  Let’s get to it.

I apologize for that joke. Even I thought it sucked beyond belief.

IntercontinentalTitle: KofiKingstonvs. DolphZiggler

If Dolph is disqualified or counted out he loses the title. Vickie does her intro but we get to look at Kaitlyn in a good looking dress so I can live with that. The music helps too. We get the two hands behind the head here which I like as a taunt for some reason. They have him in a black bowtie now too which makes my head hurt. Red tights for Kofi tonight which is a good look for him.

Feeling out period to start which is weird since they’ve had so many matches. The ring skirt has all the titles around it which is a cool look. Kaitlyn helps to get Dolph up and is yelled at of course. NICE neckbreaker by Dolph and a chinlock follows it up. The champion has half black and half white boots on which is different for him. He uses a big boot. Well of course he does.

Dolph hits a Fameasser which gets a joke from Striker. King audibly groans at it too which is the sign of a bad one. When JERRY LAWLER thinks your joke sucks, you’ve got a big problem. Lawler: Vickie used to be boy crazy. Boys would have nothing to do with her and it drove her crazy. Vickie is in leather pants which gets a lot of commentary for some reason.

And now Cole and Striker argue about who designed Vickie’s shirt. This is either really boring in ring stuff or really bad commentary. Given who is doing what, I think I’ll bet on the latter. Kofi hits a counter to get us to even again and here’s the comeback. Nice standing dropkick and he hits a Thesz Press. Wow I haven’t seen one of those in YEARS. Boom Drop hits and sets for Trouble in Paradise.

He does the stupid clapping thing where everyone cheers for him. Sleeper is blocked as Dolph uses it for a counter. SOS gets two as Ziggler gets his foot on the ropes. We’re cranking it up again here as I think I know the finish that’s coming. I’ll let you know if I was right or not. We hit the floor and Kofi is dominating. He throws Ziggler back into the ring to break the count which Striker says is smart. Cole of all people points out the reality: it was stupid as he would win the title on a countout.

Sleeper out of NOWHERE (which remember must suck since it’s a transitional move or whatever. I love the IWC’s idiocy at times) and Kofi is in trouble. He gets up quickly which is at least believable. I can’t stand when someone is in a hold for like a minute and then gets out of it. Kofi gets one of his own on but Dolph reverses. Vickie goes to smack Kofi but Dolph screams at her not to. Trouble in Paradise misses and Zig Zag ends this mostly clean which is surprising. I was wrong with what popped into my head but not entirely, but I’ll spare you the details.

Rating: B. This would be standard fare on Smackdown which means it’s very solid. This was another good match between them and hopefully this ends their feud which has run its course I think. Solid here and Ziggler looked strong, dominating for the most part and countering on a mistake to win it. Solid stuff but PLEASE get rid of Vickie as he doesn’t need her anymore.

Miz does an ad for Paper Jams, which is a music thing or something.

Edge says he’ll win. Nothing at all special about this.

CMPunkvs. BigShow

Ok, Punk HAS to win this or his year is more or less a lost one. He’s called the Second City Saint here in his hometown which is a rare thing in this company. He gets the hometown reaction which Lawler is surprised by. That’s ironic as Lawler has made more of a career out of one town than anyone in history. Punk says he loves Chicago but he hates the inhabitants of it. Is he a self-hater I suppose?

He manages to get heel heat here in a smark stronghold. That’s saying a lot. Punk wants to burn the city down and rebuild it into a straightedge utopia. That’s a great line actually. Punk tops that by saying if he’s facing the Giant then he is David and his slingshot is the almighty straightedge. I already live such a lifestyle but I want to join him anyway. Punk with the headband is still weird looking.

Cole calls Show a knucklehead, and wouldn’t you know that’s the title of his upcoming film. Cole says a headbutt from Show is like taking a cinderblock and breaking it over the opponent’s head. WHY DOES HE KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE? Big chop sends Punk to the floor. PUNK USED A FREAKING BIG BOOT. He follows it up with a slingshot senton bomb over the top to the floor in a nice spot.

Punk has him down but one punch slows him down. Middle rope elbow gives Punk the advantage back. They’re pacing this differently which is working well. Punk kicks him in the head which is a nice touch. Striker asks Lawler who the biggest man he’s ever been in the ring with. Of course it’s Andre, and Cole says that no one beat Andre. I REALLY hope he said that as a generalization and not literally because who are they trying to kid otherwise?

Show more or less tackles Punk out of the air and punches him for the pin. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Show hit two moves: the tackle and the punch. That’s it. That was Show’s offense. Punk DOMINATED other than that but Show hits two move to end it. I hate this company some times. How in the world can you validate giving Show that win that way after Punk killed on the mic? It makes Punk’s offense look pathetic but hey who cares? Show is BIG so of course he gets to win. Freaking joke man.

Rating: F. This was idiotic. Yes Punk is my favorite wrestler, but sweet goodness man: someone please explain to me why in the holy mother of goodness THE BIG SHOW deserves to go over him like this or in any way that doesn’t involve Gallows jumping Punk. Punk has been GOLD on the mic lately and yet his only big win recently is over Christian when Alberto interfered. This is so freaking stupid it’s unreal.

Jericho says he’ll win everything. You know the line he throws in there.

We recap Bryan vs. Miz which should be good. I’ve heard great praise for their house show matches and after Monday I’m legitimately unsure who wins here.

USTitle: TheMizvs. DanielBryan

Miz in blue here which works for him in a weird way. Riley is here with Miz of course. We’re told that Shawn trained by HBK which I don’t remember hearing before. Very well may have been though. Somehow we talk about Lou Thesz and Cole says he Googled all of his info. Can we get some talk about breakfast again? It’s far more interesting than this bickering.

Miz with a nice bow and arrow hold as the announcers keep up their whining. We get an explanation for the name LaBelle Lock, which is named after an old wrestler from the 30s. Well that’s better than nothing. Miz works the arm as Striker says he thinks Bryan is attractive. We get a shoulderbreaker and Striker gives a shout out to Double A (Arn Anderson) and says he should be in the Hall of Fame. Say it with me: AMEN!

The champ throws out a big boot as we’ve literally seen it three times tonight. Bryan with a suicide dive through the ropes to take out Miz. He SELLS THE ARM and hits a dropkick off the top for two. They slug it out and the selling continues. Let the boo/yay chanting begin! Running dropkick in the corner which always amazes me when someone hits it for some reason.

Miz kicks out again and Bryan gets a bit frustrated. We head up top and Bryan gets crotched. SWEET clothesline takes down Bryan who lands on his arm for two. All Miz here as he CRANKS on the arm and makes Bryan scream. Ropes are grabbed but Miz has til five. If he yelled that the IWC would have rioted. The Finale (not typing that name out) is countered into a rollup for two.

Riley gets on the apron but Miz punches him by mistake. Rollup by Bryan gets two and I would have bet on that being the ending. Bryan to the floor and Riley rams the post by mistake. Bryan STILL holds the arm. Miz just goes off on Bryan with punches but gets pulled into the LaBelle Lock AND IT’S OVER! Miz cries at ringside in a funny moment.

Rating: B+. This WORKED. I was way into the ending here as Bryan came off as awesome, just like Miz. I can’t wait for the IWC to complain about how Bryan carried Miz here and I can’t wait for it. Miz more than held up his half out there and looked great (just to be clear, Bryan was great here too). This was a very solid match but was held back by Riley interfering. Miz losing this way is perfect and it definitely put Bryan over. Very solid match and I was most impressed.

Hell in a Cell is in TWO WEEKS. Wow that’s dumb.

Cena is still all smiley and happy here and does a math themed promo which makes sense.

WomensTitles: MichelleMcCoolvs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Barrett talks about the Winds of Change. I wonder if he’ll Rock You Like a Hurricane.

We hit probably the longest recap ever as we set up Kane vs. Taker. You know this one by now I’m sure and if not go read my SD reviews for the last 6 weeks or so. We get the full history here over the last 12 years, including the straight up lie that Taker took Kane’s mask away.

SmackdownWorldTitle: Kanevs. Undertaker

Surprisingly Taker comes out first. They slug it out in the aisle to start. I want to see if they can break the streak of awful that their matches have been in the past. Taker shoves him off the stage into a pillar that the set is made of. The no holds barred aspect helps here as these two are designed for a big fight rather than just a regular match. So far they’re following that idea as it’s just a major fight so far.

Taker gets sent into the steps and Kane kicks him in the head. Why must you tease me with more big boots? Kane grabs the belt and hits Taker in the ribs with it which is a shot you don’t see that often. Clothesline off the top doesn’t get a cover as Kane does a really bad looking legdrop. Cole says Kane has dissected Taker. I guess we’re ignoring the first 4 minutes of this match.

Seated running one footed dropkick (just get to the freaking big boot you freaking teases!) hits as Kane is dominating. He takes the cover off the table and just pelts Taker with it. This has been a bit better than I expected and MUCH better than their other stuff. Taker sends him into the steps and has signs of life. Or is it death with him? His character can be a bit confusing at times.

Apron legdrop by Taker and for once the word vintage is ok. We get a mini Taker Dive as he sails over the railing to take down Kane. We head into the crowd as they’ve been in the ring about two minutes out of maybe 10 this has gone. Kane hits kind of a big boot. He hits a jumping punch as we’re back at ringside now. He punches Taker down and Taker is in trouble.

It turns into a boxing match almost with Kane throwing nothing but punches. Taker is getting DOMINATED here and it’s kind of nice to see. As long as he doesn’t make the comeback and win that is. Taker gets one punch in to a BIG old pop. He starts winning but Kane gets a knee. Jumping clothesline puts Kane down though. And now Taker throws punches.

Snake eyes and a big boot get two. We’re 5-5 in big boots tonight. Chokeslam to Kane but Taker can’t cover him. Striker calls him the weigher of souls. Could he be more over the top when talking about the zombie? Kane counters the Tombstone into one of his own and Kane wins clean!

Rating: C+. It wasn’t a great match by any means but this did what it was supposed to do. I don’t think these two can have a great match, but this is what they were supposed to do: Kane went out there and beat Taker up and then pinned him clean. That’s how this was needing to go and Kane gets the clean victory. Pretty sure we’re heading to Hell in a Cell with these two which is the next logical step. Kane needed this though and he got it.

Taker can barely get back to the locker room and almost has to crawl the last bit. I’d love Paul Bearer to come out here.

Randy says he has nothing to say. This takes nearly two minutes.

Legendary is coming to DVD already. That’s AWESOME.

We’re having a tag team turmoil match??? Hokey smoke. Someone made a thread about this and I didn’t think it would happen but here we go. The idea is there are five teams with two random ones starting. They have a match and then the winners advance to face the next team. Last team standing wins. It’s kind of like the weird cousin of the gauntlet match.

TagTeamTurmoil

We open with Hart Dynasty vs. Usos. Yeah because we haven’t seen this enough. Striker mentions playing a game called Six Degrees of the Hart Dungeon, which sounds AWESOME to a wrestling geek like me. DAVID HITS A BIG BOOT IN THE CORNER! Kidd hits a big Asai moonsault to the floor. Kidd gets the Sharpshooter but the other Uso hits a BIG BOOT to end him, guaranteeing new champions.

Kozlov/Santino vs. Usos now. This lasts about a minute as Santino sets for the cobra but Tamina distracts him, allowing a Samoan Drop (shocking right?) to end him.

Bourne/Henry in next. This shows how sad the tag division is. It truly does. Henry comes in and cleans house with the World’s Strongest Slam. Air Bourne ends it.

Final team is Drew/Cody. Ok we HAVE to have the heels win it here for the sake of sanity. Also so we can hear either awesome theme song. Drew is in those sexy white tights too so I’m happy. The heels dominate for awhile as Bourne plays Ricky Morton for awhile. They say Cody was a tag team champion but never say with who. I don’t get why though.

Big gutbuster by Drew as Bourne is in trouble, hence the Morton thing I guess. Drew CRANKS on a chinlock which looks awesome. Bourne gets out of a suplex using the ultimate counter: kicking his feet. Hot tag to Henry and Cody trips coming through the ropes. They go for the Super Shooting Star which takes forever so Cross Roads takes out Bourne (illegal man) for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. These are hard to grade but given who was in this the booking more or less was terrible. No Gatecrashers or Dudebusters or Nexus but Bourne and Henry? Really? The one good thing here is that they beat the champions clean the other night. That’s a major plus for them so there’s no argument that they didn’t beat the champions. Not wild AT ALL on having another randon team thrown together but that’s the nature of the beast in modern tag wrestling I guess. Pretty bad though and definitely the worst of the night so far.

Random Alberto Del Rio promo montage.

Build up video for the elimination match and I think you get the idea of it.

Sheamus says his usual stuff.

RawWorldTitle: Sheamusvs. JohnCenavs. Edgevs. WadeBarrettvs. RandyOrtonvs. ChrisJericho

Pin or submission only for eliminations. MONSTER reaction for Edge. The trenchcoat is back too. Face pop for Jericho but not as big as Edge’s. Barrett is in his second PPV main event less than five months after making the main roster. Not bad. Elimination rules here. Orton is out last and gets a nice reaction but still pales in comparison to Edge. Striker asks Lawler for strategy here. Lawler says avoid elimination, which sounds really simplistic but Lawler follows it up by saying you’re going to have a better chance with three or four opponents than with five so if you can hang on your odds improve. Sometimes the simplest answer is best.

Tornado rules here too which is nice. We get a Hulk reference kind of as Cole lists off champions. Cena and Jericho stare each other down which makes me think Jericho is a jobber by comparison. RKO maybe 90 seconds in ends Jericho. WHAT THE HECK? He makes the big sad exit and everyone, myself included, is shocked. Y2J chant picks up of course as I’d love a face run from him.

Everyone surrounds Barrett and the beatdown is on! Orton and Cena have an eventual staredown but Barrett breaks it up. Striker calls Edge, Sheamus and Barrett rulebreakers. CENA THROWS A DROPKICK! The superpowers fight it out but Barrett saves Cena for some reason. Sheamus kicks Barrett in the face. He dominates for awhile and goes around kicking everyone in sight.

High knees to Cena which I can’t think of a Too Many Lies joke for. Cena blocks the High Cross as everyone else has apparently died. Edge comes back in and stops the top rope Fameasser. Double suplex off the top to take Cena down for two. Edge and Sheamus work together which tells me he eliminates the Irishman.

Orton pops up for like two seconds and Sheamus takes him down almost immediately. Spear misses and the Irish Curse takes Edge down. Brogue Kick misses but Edge gets the spear. Orton takes one too but Edge takes a very nice FU to get rid of him and we have four left. Barrett takes down Cena and stomps the tar out of him.

He and Cena fight it out for awhile until Cena makes his comeback. 5 Knuckle Shuffle but Sheamus accidentally hits Barrett. Cole keeps calling the FU the A.A. now. Sheamus is in the STF FOREVER and has one of the best teases of getting there I’ve ever seen. He manages to do it and you can feel the crowd just stop. Nexus comes out and the distraction allows Barrett to hit Wasteland on Cena and ELIMINATE HIM!

Nexus beats down Orton and since there are no disqualifications this is all gravy baby. Nexus tries to run in again but Cena KILLS one of them with a chair. Orton gets the backbreaker on Barrett and an RKO gets us down to Sheamus vs. Orton. Brogue Kick KILLS Orton but it only gets two and a big old pop. High Cross is countered and the RKO gives Orton his seventh title!

Rating: C+. This was ok. It wasn’t the mess I thought it would be and getting rid of two people relatively early, especially Jericho, made this run a lot more smoothly. It’s an ok match but really nothing worth going out of your way to see. They went with the usual multi-man formula here which I’m not a fan of at all. Barrett pinning Cena clean is a good thing but it’s probably going to lead to a Hell in a Cell match which I don’t think anyone wants to see at this point. Fairly good match, but not a great one at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was definitely ok but it’s not a great show. The title changes are usually pretty cool and some of these were, but I can’t really bring myself to care about Orton winning his 7th world title. You get some good stuff like Miz vs. Bryan and Kane vs. Taker, but other than that this show really isn’t anything special. It’s entertaining enough for three hours and if you watch it you won’t be bored, but you certainly won’t be blown away. Not a bad show but not really good either.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




First Official Wrestlemania Buys Report

This number will still be tweaked over the summer until the final number is announced in August.  So far it did…..1,048,000 buys.  Here’s how that stacks up over recent years:

 

2009 – 960,000 buys
2010 – 885,000 buys
2011 – 1,059,000 buys
2012 – 1,217,000 buys
2013 – 1,048,000 buys (prelim. figure)

 

Odds are it’ll go up, meaning it’ll be the second highest total in the last five years.  Isn’t it interesting that of the last five years, the two lowest are the ones Cena didn’t main event?




Cena vs. Ryback II Gimmick Announced

Since just having a wrestling match is out of the question, it’s going to bean ambulance match at Payback.  Can I go to the hospital instead of watching?




Extreme Rules 2013: Extremely Underwhelming

Extreme Rules 2013
Date: May 19, 2013
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is a card that has gotten a long time to build itself up, yet the top matches are still pretty weak. The main events tonight are Ryback challenging John Cena in a last man standing match and HHH facing Brock Lesnar inside a cage. The rest of the card has been built up far better than these matches and should be much more entertaining. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: The Miz vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody starts fast by trying to jump Miz, only to be caught in a flapjack and a backslide for one. A clothesline puts Rhodes down but a kick to the face misses Cody, allowing him to hit a quick hot shot for two. The release front suplex gets two for Rhodes and it’s off to a bodyscissors. Back up and Cody pounds away before putting on an armbar.

A rollup gets two for Rhodes and it’s back to the bodyscissors. Miz fights up and hits some kicks to the ribs and head before getting a near fall off a sunset flip. Miz escapes CrossRhodes but the figure four is broken up as well. Cody dives off the ropes and lands in the figure four for the tap out at 4:52.

Rating: D+. This was nothing special and was the same kind of match you could see on any given Raw. Miz’s problem at this point is he has no reason to be considered a face other than the announcers treat him like one. He’s just a guy out there wrestling and the same could be said of Cody. That makes for a really dull set of matches, as there’s no reason to care about either guy and the matches aren’t all that great in the first place.

The opening video focuses on the main events and how tonight is different from the other nights of the year.

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

This is a rematch from Wrestlemania where Fandango won his debut match in a major upset. Jericho goes after him to start and pounds on Fandango’s head to send the dancer out to the floor. Chris follows him out and sends Fandango into the barricade before dancing on the announce table. Back in and Jericho stomps away at Fandango to send him back to the floor. Fandango gets back in and gets a boot up to stop a charging Jericho in the corner to take over.

After a kick to Jericho’s ribs we hit the chinlock, only to have Fandango hit him in the ribs for another near fall. A slingshot legdrop gets two for Fandango and it’s back to the chinlock. Jericho fights up and hits some shoulder blocks followed by the top rope ax handle for two. Fandango kicks out of the Walls so Jericho goes up top for a crossbody, only to have Fandango roll through for a two count.

Fandango kicks Jericho in the face to keep him down before loading up the guillotine legdrop. Chris rolls away though and hits the Lionsault for a near fall. Can that even be called a finishing move anymore? Fandango tries a sunset flip out of the corner but gets caught in the Walls of Jericho, only to grab the ropes a second later. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and Fandango goes up, only to dive into the Codebreaker for the pin at 8:32.

Rating: C+. This was better than their match at Wrestlemania and the ending looked good. Fandango isn’t going to lose his credibility now as he won the original match, which is what WWE usually gets backwards in their booking of these characters. Good opener here and the fans are fired up now.

Sheamus says that the trucks Henry has been pulling around don’t hit back like he does. Tonight, the Celtic Warrior goes extreme.

Video from Raw of Ryback attacking Cena’s bad leg.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dean Ambrose

Kofi is defending. Rollins and Reigns walk back up into the crowd to keep this as an actual one on one match. Feeling out process to start with Kofi trying a quick Trouble in Paradise but Dean grabs the rope. A hiptoss sends Ambrose down and Kofi pounds away in the corner. Dean comes out of the corner with a clothesline and drops an elbow for one. With Kofi against the ropes, Ambrose hits a hard dropkick for a near fall. Ambrose talks trash and puts on a crossface chicken wing of all things, complete with a grapevine.

Kofi fights up and sends Ambrose face first into the buckle to escape before dropping him with a dropkick. Boom Drop connects but Ambrose backs away before Trouble in Paradise can launch. SOS gets two on Dean and Kofi goes up top, only to be crotched down and caught with a butterfly superplex for two.

Ambrose charges into a kick to the face in the corner and there’s a top rope cross body for two for the champion. Dean goes to the apron and there’s Trouble in Paradise but it knocks Ambrose to the floor. Kofi throws him back in for two but another Trouble in Paradise only hits ropes. The bulldog driver gives us a new champion at 6:45.

Rating: C+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. Kofi was given the title to drop it to someone like Ambrose and he did that just fine. Kingston is the kind of guy who can bounce back no matter who he loses to so he’ll be just fine. This should be the first of many titles for Shield and it’s a very good sign that they’re getting gold this soon.

Shield comes out to celebrate post match but doesn’t beat Kofi down.

We look at Henry vs. Sheamus, which is built around Henry displaying his power and Sheamus outsmarting him. Tonight they’re tied together with a strap and you have to drag your opponent around the ring and touch all four corners in succession (meaning that if you get three but your opponent breaks your momentum, you have to start over again) to win.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

There are lights in each cover to keep track of who has touched which with Sheamus having green lights and Henry having red. Sheamus trips Henry down to start and Mark is already ticked off. They slug it out and Sheamus goes back to the leg to put Henry down again. Sheamus gets one corner but Henry easily pulls him to the middle of the ring to break the streak. Henry gets smart by hogtying Sheamus’ feet together, only to have Sheamus break the streak after one buckle.

Sheamus knocks him over the top and out to the floor, only to have Sheamus get on the apron and pop Henry in the face. In a smart move, Sheamus runs the apron to get three straight buckles, only to have Henry take him down with a clothesline. Back in and Henry puts Sheamus on his shoulder before walking around to the corners. Sheamus is touching them as he goes along though and it’s 3-3. Henry catches on though and headbutts Sheamus down, breaking both streaks. Sheamus comes back with forearms to the face and drops a bunch of knees to slow Henry down.

We finally get to what we wanted to see: Sheamus whipping Henry with the strap. A beaten down Henry has trouble stopping Sheamus from getting to the first three buckles but Sheamus charges into a spinebuster to break his momentum. Back to the floor with Sheamus pulling Henry into the post in a smart move. They go back inside with Sheamus getting three but getting caught in the World’s Strongest Slam. Before Henry can drop Sheamus though, the Celtic Warrior bails out and Brogue Kicks Henry down, allowing him to hit the fourth buckle at 7:58.

Rating: C-. This was pretty underwhelming given what was expected of them. The problem with these matches is the same every time: it becomes about strategy instead of the violence that the match was built up on. Strap matches are always better when the guys get to destroy each other, but that might be interesting so we better not do that here.

AJ is on the phone with Dolph when Kaitlyn comes up. Apparently AJ has said she’s too distraught to face Kaitlyn so AJ makes fun of the secret admirer. Kaitlyn calls her Looney Tunes and AJ is mad. Kaitlyn quotes Porky Pig which AJ calls appropriate and the beating is on.

Here are Colter and Swagger with Zeb complaining about the IRS and AP phone tapping scandals before ripping into the St. Louis Cardinals for having too many Latin players.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

This is an I Quit match for the #1 contendership. Del Rio hits a fast clothesline to send Swagger to the floor. A flying knee takes Jack down on the floor and it’s already weapons time. Del Rio’s first choice is a kendo stick but Del Rio gets caught in a belly to belly to put him down. Swagger pulls the barricade covering off but Alberto sends him into the steps before Jack can do anything else.

Alberto goes after the arm as is his custom before stomping it against the steps. Back in and Swagger gets in some kendo stick shots to give Jack control. The fans want Ziggler but they get more kendo stick shots to Del Rio’s leg. Swagger ties Del Rio’s arms in the ropes and pounds away at his chest with the stick. Alberto gets his arm free and catches Swagger in the armbreaker while in the ropes, only to fall backwards onto the floor.

Jack brings in a chair but gets caught by an enziguri to put him down. Del Rio fires off his usual clotheslines and the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by the low superkick. Swagger gets caught in the ropes and Del Rio pelts his back with the stick before hitting the Backstabber for good measure. The armbreaker is countered into a belly to belly suplex and the gutwrench suplex puts Del Rio down again. He still won’t quit but the no’s are getting weaker.

Another powerbomb puts Del Rio down but he grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere. Remember that rope breaks don’t count here as they mentioned on Raw. Swagger counters into the Patriot Lock but Del Rio still won’t give up. Swagger grapevines the leg but Del Rio won’t quit. Out of nowhere, Colter grabs the white towel that Ricardo was carrying and throws it in, which counts as Del Rio quitting, giving Swagger the win at 9:25.

Actually scratch that as another referee comes out and says that Colter threw it in. We look at a replay and the referee says if Del Rio can continue, the match will restart. Del Rio says let’s continue so Swagger goes after the leg again. Alberto fires off a superkick to the arm and puts on the armbreaker but Swagger won’t say it. Scratch that as he does quit at 13:50.

Rating: C. Well that helped absolutely no one at all. I’m not sure what in the world the point of the false finish was given that it was resolved in literally two minutes. Swagger taps out to Del Rio again which continues to make him look worthless in this persona. I’m guessing this allows them to do the threeway anyway, making this match pretty much pointless all around.

Ryback says all Cena has left are words, but Cena is a liar. Tonight Ryback Rules and he wins the title.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO

This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It’s a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.

Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.

Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane’s head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can’t get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.

Rating: C+. Again this was ok but nothing great. They could have used another five to ten minutes here but for some reason they’re flying through these matches tonight. Shield winning was the only logical conclusion as there was nothing left for Bryan/Kane to do with the belts at this point. Decent but not great here.

We look at the pre-show match.

There’s going to be a post show with Mick Foley, Wade Barrett, Titus O’Neil and Renee Young.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

This is an Extreme Rules match, meaning anything goes. Orton agreed to trust Big Show at Wrestlemania but annoyed Big Show by taking the tag himself, causing Show to knock Orton out. Orton gets a big reaction as the hometown boy. Show shrugs off an early flurry by Orton before running Randy down with a big shoulder. JBL incorrectly says that Orton’s dad was in the main event of the first Wrestlemania. He was at ringside but not in the match.

We head to the floor with Orton getting in some kendo stick shots, only to have Show take the stick away and break it over his knee. Orton pulls out another stick but Show breaks that one as well. Show puts Orton up against the announce table for a LOUD chop, only to be rammed face first into the post to give Orton a breather. It’s ladder time but Show slams it off Orton’s head to put Randy down again.

Back inside and Orton’s shoulder hits the post but Randy comes back with a dropkick. Orton pounds away in the corner but Show easily picks him up and slams him down for two. Show throws the ladder inside and gets a few chairs for good measure. He sets up the chairs in the corner and bridges the ladder across them like a mini platform. Show lays Orton on the ladder but misses a Vader Bomb and crushes the ladder, giving Orton two.

The Elevated DDT connects and Orton goes into his place. The fans get all fired up and there’s the RKO but Big Show kicks out at two. That’s one of the few finishers that has been protected over the years so it had to be kicked out of eventually, as in WWE finishers mean nothing anymore.

Orton gets another chair and cracks Show in the back with it over and over again. They head back inside for a shot to the chest, but Big Show hits a spear to put Orton down. Not that it matters though as Orton kicks him in the face and hits an RKO on the chair. Instead of covering though, Orton shakes his head and has a freaky smile on his face. The Punt makes its return and that’s enough for the pin at 13:05.

Rating: B-. This was the match of the night so far but even still it wasn’t all that great. The Punt was a nice addition but I’m rather surprised that they would allow it given what happened to Ziggler recently. Still though, not bad here and Orton winning was the right move for the hometown crowd.

We recap Cena vs. Ryback. At Wrestlemania, Cena won the title while Ryback lost to Mark Henry. The next night Ryback turned on Cena due to Cena constantly leaving him to be beaten down by Shield. Cena injured his ankle on a European tour so tonight it’s a last man standing match, playing to Ryback’s advantage.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena’s ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there’s a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He’s up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.

Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It’s still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn’t that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.

Rating: B. That’s a pretty cheap (yet good looking) ending as Cena couldn’t keep Ryback down and now we’re going to get a rematch at Payback. It was certainly entertaining though, which is mostly because of how much more time it got than any other match. That’s the problem with a lot of the matches tonight: they’ve been WAY too short.

Ad for Payback in four weeks.

We recap HHH vs. Lesnar. They’ve been feuding for a year at this point, trading wins at Summerslam and Wrestlemania. Lesnar then trashed HHH’s office and tonight is the rubber match.

The cage has a new design and is higher than the usual one.

Brock Lesnar vs. HHH

You can win by pin, submission or escape. HHH jumps Lesnar in the aisle and rams him into the cage before HHH’s entrance music even starts. They get inside the cage with Brock in big trouble early on. A spinebuster puts Lesnar down as JBL goes through Brock’s MMA history. Brock counters the Pedigree with a backdrop into the cage before ramming the Game’s head into the steel. HHH is thrown into the cage and Brock is already in full control.

The Game sends him into the cage but Brock just smiles and rams him right back into the steel. Brock misses a flying knee into the cage and shouts to Heyman that his knee is hurt. HHH goes up top but Brock is there to meet him. Lesnar is shoved back down though and the knee is hurt again. The facebuster puts Brock down again as HHH is calling some loud spots tonight.

Brock counters the Pedigree attempt into the Kimura but HHH goes back to the knee to escape the hold. A big clothesline puts HHH down and Brock wants the door opened, but a chop block by HHH puts him down again. Now HHH goes for the door but Heyman slams the door on his head. An F5 gets two and Brock tells Heyman to get him a chair. Lesnar hits Trips with the chair but Brock’s knee is too hurt to keep going. Another F5 attempt fails as the knee gives out.

Now HHH gets the chair and beats on Brock’s knee to send Lesnar into the corner in a heap. A quick Kimura attempt gets Lesnar nowhere and it’s Figure Four time. The ropes mean nothing (Heyman: “BREAK THE FRIGGIN HOLD!”) so Brock has to turn the hold over to escape. With HHH down, Brock tries to climb over the top but HHH gets a chair shot to the bad leg to bring him down. HHH has a big dumb grin on his face and climbs to the top where he pulls out a camouflaged sledgehammer.

Brock gets the hammer away but HHH takes him down and puts on a Sharpshooter of all things. I don’t think I’ve ever seen HHH use that. It’s clear that HHH doesn’t have a lot of experience with the hold as it’s a pretty ugly version. Heyman comes into the ring and gets caught in a Pedigree, but there’s one for Brock as well. That only gets two so HHH gets the hammer, only to have Heyman hit him low. A sledgehammer shot to the face puts the Game down but Brock doesn’t cover. Brock hits a one legged F5 for the pin at 20:10.

Rating: B. Not bad and probably their best match yet, but at the end of the day we’re celebrating the fact that HHH didn’t put himself over Brock Lesnar in a cage. The fact that we’re a year into this feud (with no guarantee that it’s over) and HHH almost beat him in what should be Brock’s signature match is a sad reality. Good match but it didn’t need to exist.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade. On one hand, it’s certainly not awful and there are some solid matches on the card. However, most of the matches felt like afterthoughts to the main events which were matches that weren’t all that interesting coming in. The main events are good examples of good matches that don’t make up for the lame buildup to them. At the end of the day, people weren’t that interested in either of the matches but the payoffs were both good. Decent enough show but it could have been WAY better.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Fandango – Codebreaker

Dean Ambrose b. Kofi Kingston – Bulldog Driver

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Sheamus touched all four corners

Alberto Del Rio b. Jack Swagger – Cross Armbreaker

Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins b. HELL NO – Torture Rack/Top Rope Knee Drop Combination to Bryan

Randy Orton b. Big Show – Punt

Ryback vs. John Cena went to a no contest

Brock Lesnar b. HHH – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Do You Believe In the Shield?

If you don’t…You should because they won both title matches tonight.




On This Day: May 18, 2008 – Judgment Day 2008: Two Masters Having A Fight

Judgment Day 2008
Date: May 18, 2008
Location: Qwest Center Omaha, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 11,324
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Mick Foley, Mike Adamle, Tazz

 

Didn’t realize this but this is being reviewed three years to the day that this show happened. Always interesting I guess. Anyway I do not remember this show at all even though there are two world title matches of course. For Smackdown it’s Edge vs. Taker for the vacant title and on Raw it’s Orton vs. HHH (yeah I’m shocked too) in a cage. Shawn vs. Jericho also, which is always worth checking out. Let’s get to it.

 

Oh and of course I’ll be doing 2009 next to get done with this series. After that it’s a quick run through the three remaining ONS’s that I have and then it’s time for Armageddon.

 

Opening video is about the title matches and Shawn/Jericho of course. Oh and Cena vs. JBL. The Hell’s Gate submission is banned also. I remember that stupid story that focused way too much on Vickie.

 

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

 

Well this isn’t what I would have picked for an opener but it’ll get a reaction I guess. JBL claims that Cena cost him the title at Backlash so here you are. Very slow start as neither guy seems like he wants to do much at all. Bradshaw grabs a headlock but Cena goes straight for the STF so JBL bails. Back in and Cena gets sent shoulder first into the post. Jibbles works on the arm and adds a neckbreaker for no cover.

 

Off to a modified key lock as this turns into something resembling a submission match. Cena rolls out of a near cross armbreaker but it doesn’t really hurt JBL so the assault continues. Cena comes up with one arm and hammers away, adding a Throwback to really take JBL down. Top rope Fameasser misses and Cena hits the apron. JBL manages to grab a suplex style move to drop Cena over the top and then out to the floor.

 

This is a painfully boring match if you’re not sure on it. We’re nearly 8 minutes into it and they’ve been moving so freaking slow the entire time. Off to a bearhug by Bradshaw but Cena turns to his side so it’s almost a German suplex position. Off to a bodyscissors with an armbar as I’m really confused here. I mean, IT’S JOHN CENA and they’ve doing a submission/very old school style match. Why in the world do they think this is a good idea?

 

Off to a full nelson which Cena can’t quite break. After we waste some time with that, here comes Cena who breaks the hold but can’t hit the FU. I miss the days when it was called that as AA makes me think of Arn Anderson. Back to the bodyscissors in case the fans started to get into this. I’m legitimately surprised by how this match has gone. Not that it’s a good thing here as I’d definitely prefer your usual Cena match to this.

 

Cena breaks the hold but walks into a big boot and it’s back to the back as JBL drops some elbows. Clothesline, but not the devilish version, puts Cena down for no cover. And never mind as JBL picks him up after that move and Cena reverses another clothesline attempt into the FU for the pin out of absolutely nowhere.

 

Rating: D. This was by far and away the worst Cena match I’ve ever seen on PPV after he made it big. I have no idea what they were doing here as it was closer to a submission match that you would see out of like Bob Backlund and Ivan Koloff or some combination like that rather than two glorified brawlers. Not much here at all and I was really disappointed with them in it.

 

King William Regal, the GM of Raw, isn’t happy.

 

The Dirt Sheet makes fun of Kane and Punk who are challenging Miz and Morrison for the Smackdown tag titles tonight despite both of them being ECW guys and the ECW commentators calling this.

 

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kane/CM Punk

 

If I remember this right there is zero story to this match at all. Morrison has the same music and nearly the same intro as he does today. It’s so shocking to look at Miz and know what was coming for him in just a few years. Morrison beat Kane on ECW which is about the extent of the build. Punk would go to Raw in the Draft in just over a month. He’s Mr. MITB at the moment also. Oh and Kane is ECW Champion. There was a talent exchange or whatever going on with Smackdown and ECW where they could be on both shows if you’re wondering how this is possible.

 

This actually gets big match intro treatment for no apparent reason. Odd indeed. Punk and Miz start us off and it’s so weird to see these two as midcarders. Off to Kane, who is by far and away the biggest star in this match. Kane beats Morrison up with ease but can’t do the same to Miz. Wow that sounds weird in context. Punk comes in with a slingshot knee drop to Morrison for two.

 

Tarantula version of the Anaconda Vice which is rather awesome goes on. Back off to Kane who massacres Miz a bit more, including the clothesline for no cover. Morrison goes all angry on Kane, hammering away with everything he can to slow baldie down. Miz and Morrison both have a lack of finishing moves for the most part other than Morrison having some weak stuff so there isn’t much of a way that they can put Kane down.

 

Luckily for them it’s off to Punk who beats on Morrison as is his custom. Down goes Miz and a snap powerslam gets two on Morrison. Springboard clothesline gets two on Morrison who is looking awesome with these kickouts. Miz tries to grab Morrison’s leg to slow things down a lot and is chokeslamed on the floor for his efforts. That distraction though lets the Moonlight Drive (neckbreaker) end Punk mostly clean.

 

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all but it probably should have been a TV main event more than anything else. You could certainly see Miz and Morrison growing up here as they managed to stay away from the pins which was the right thing to do. Having matches with guys like Kane and Punk was what made them get a lot better in a hurry, which is exactly why someone like Kane was on ECW. Fine little match here.

 

Rambo is sponsoring the PPV tonight for no apparent reason.

 

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn. This started at Mania when Shawn retired Flair. Batista then kind of sort of turned heel at least against Shawn, saying that Shawn had no right to retire Flair like he did. This led to a match at Backlash which Jericho refereed for no apparent reason. Actually there probably is one but I don’t remember it and I’m fighting a cold so I have no desire to look it up.

 

Shawn said he’d do whatever it took to win and in the match he escaped a Batista Bomb but hurt his knee. Jericho called shenanigans and gave Shawn an award for best actor. Shawn and Jericho fought Miz/Morrison on Raw and Shawn only managed one superkick which was enough to set up the win. Jericho bought the injury, then Shawn said he was faking. Jericho now doesn’t believe him so Shawn kicked his head off. That brings us here.

 

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

 

Jericho is IC Champion here but it’s non-title. Shawn is closer to heel here which is rather odd to see indeed. Naturally he gets the face pop here. Well the bigger one that is as Jericho certainly gets one of his own. This is one of if not the first of many, many matches these guys had in 2008. Jericho goes after the knee as he still doesn’t buy Shawn saying it was faked.

 

Off to a headlock by Shawn as Jericho goes for the leg again. Shawn grabs an inverted figure four which JR calls a Native American Deathlock. That’s a new one I guess. Jericho gets the rope and it’s a standoff. This is Shawn vs. Jericho with fifteen minutes to work with so I wouldn’t expect a lot of jokes here. We get a card game reference by JR for no apparent reason and it’s off to fighting over an armbar.

 

Shawn gets something like a cross armbreaker over the arm which is pretty cool looking. Jericho looks weird in the full tights and short hair. The trunks were a nice touch for him. Jericho manages to send Shawn into the corner as no one can get an extended advantage at all here. To the corner and Jericho gets knocked off but gets his knees up to block the elbow from the top.

 

Jericho hammers on the ribs as we hit the abdominal stretch. See what psychology does to help you out here? Shawn avoids the bulldog as the momentum shifts again. Jericho might have had control for a minute and a half which is certainly the longest of the entire match so far. Forearm by Shawn but he gets caught in the Walls and the crowd reacts. Both guys head to the apron and Chris gets his head kicked off by Sweet Chin Music and he’s down on the floor.

 

Back in that only gets two and Shawn drops the elbow but his ribs are hurt even worse now. This has been great stuff if that wasn’t clear by the writing about it. Jericho wisely falls down instead of taking the superkick and then does it again. Crowd isn’t sure what to think of that so Shawn gets a bit closer to him and keeps tuning it up. Shawn fires it but Jericho was playing possum just like Shawn did against Batista and drills Shawn with the Codebreaker. NICE!

 

That’s only good enough for two though as the fans are way into this. See what happens when you put two of the best ever in the ring and give them time and a story? YOU GET A GREAT MATCH. Why is that so complicated? Shawn grabs a Crossface out of nowhere and Jericho somehow manages to get the rope. Shawn isn’t enough of a psycho to make that work I guess. Shawn gets draped over the top and we get even more SWEET psychology as Shawn puts his knees up for the Lionsault but Jericho lands on his feet and tries the Walls. Shawn rolls through for the surprise pin though to end it. AWESOME match.

 

Rating: A. Again, two masters with time and a story. What did you really expect to happen here? I don’t think it’s possible for these two to have a bad match and they didn’t come close to one here. This would set of the feud of the year as Jericho would get the world title in about three months and Shawn would chase it all Fall.

 

They shake hands post match and both guys are tentative because of what happened in Seattle back in 2003.

 

Mickie James doesn’t really want to talk about how date with Cena as JBL comes up. JBL bullies Grisham and talks about fighting which goes nowhere at all.

 

Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James

 

Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.

 

Melina looks extra good tonight. Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?

 

Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.

 

Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.

 

Batista tells Shawn that if he was faking he’ll hurt him. That would be next month I believe. We’ll get to that one soon.

 

Undertaker dominated a text message poll about who would win.

 

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. Basically Undertaker used the Hell’s Gate and Vickie banned it. Edge got hurt and since Taker didn’t show remorse, she stripped him of it and there’s a Taker vs. Edge match for the title. There was some over the top rope challenge where you had to win a match to qualify. Batista won but Edge was allowed to come in at the very end and win. This went on for months and people got rather tired of it.

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

 

Title is vacant remember. Edge’s pyro doesn’t go off for some reason. Oh there it is. Two entrances should not take five minutes, period. Taker tries to box to start so Edge runs off. Edge tries right hands and gets launched into the corner as Taker takes over. Off to the arm as Taker tries to take out the spear. Old School is countered. When does that ever hit anymore?

 

They fight on the floor for a bit with Edge sending him into the steps and adding a baseball slide to take over. Big boot by Taker misses in the corner which gets two for Edge. Edge works on the knee and they slug it out a bit. Edge hits a big boot to about the shoulder or so for no cover. Old School attempt by Edge gets the same result as Taker’s attempt earlier.

 

They slug it out again which of course Taker wins. Taker chokeslams him into the corner for some reason and a big boot (actually getting face) gets two. Old School #3 hits as I guess that’s high school since we had elementary and middle already. Hawkins and Ryder, the Edgeheads, come out for a distraction as Edge exposes the buckle. Better option really as you don’t want him exposing himself.

 

Spear eats post though and a buckle bomb gets two. Have to give it to Taker for busting out some nice adjustments to his regular moves here. Snake Eyes into the buckle doesn’t work so Edge hammers away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes into the corner anyway. Taker likes that corner I guess. Instead of covering Taker tries to hit the ropes for something but Edge (called the Sly Fox by Cole) hits a weak spear for two.

 

They slug it out (again) with the Canadian actually winning for a bit until he walks into a chokeslam for a very long two. Out to the floor again and we go into the crowd. They slug it out on the floor and only Taker beats the count back in to win the world…..oh of course he doesn’t as here’s Vickie to say excuse me a lot. Taker doesn’t win the title because it’s a countout. They would have another match in the form of TLC next month where Taker had to “retire”.

 

Rating: B. Good match here ruined by a weak ending. Nowhere near as good as their Mania match but it was still pretty solid stuff all around. They work very well together but after all the near falls you want something better than a lame countout ending especially with something close to a Dusty Finish that takes Vickie two minutes to announce. Good match until then though.

 

Taker adds a tombstone to Edge post match because he can and leaves the title in the ring.

 

Orton says he’ll win but says it very slowly. This was another part of their never ending feud that set up Orton and Cena’s never ending feud.

 

Here’s MVP for no apparent reason. He’s upset because he’s not on the card tonight so anyone that wants to fight him can come down right now. Matt Hardy’s music comes on but he’s just the US Champion who beat MVP at Backlash so he’s not the right choice I guess. Instead it’s this guy facing him.

 

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

 

Far bigger pop for Jeff than Matt which doesn’t mean anything really. Foley isn’t sure who to cheer for because MVP is Smackdown (Jeff is Raw) but he doesn’t want to cheer for a jerk. Jeff sends him to the floor early as we hear about his house burning down which was legit actually. Back in the ring and MVP takes it to the mat. Jeff tries the slingshot dropkick to the floor but gets slammed to the floor instead.

 

Back in and we hit the armbar again as Jeff looks more annoyed than in pain. Hammerlock slam gets two. Jeff fires back but tries a move out of the corner, only for the arm to go out and give MVP the advantage all over again. Drive By boot to the head/arm of Jeff sends him to the floor as this has been almost all MVP at this point.

 

Jeff goes shoulder first into the barricade which gets two back in the ring. MVP is channeling his inner Anderson (Arn, not Mr. you uncultured swine) with all of this arm work. Playmaker can’t hit and Jeff gets a shot in with the left arm so both guys are down. Slingshot dropkick in the corner hits for Jeff but he can’t hit the Swanton. Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere gets a pin. I like that ending I think.

 

Rating: C+. This was a bonus match and wasn’t half bad so I really can’t complain much at all. Jeff would be world champion by the end of the year so this was really just a quick stop for him. Anyway, fine for what it was with both guys having a decent enough match for a bonus match that was there to fill in time.

 

Sylvester Stallone talks about directing Rambo.

 

The cage is lowered.

 

We go to the recap which is introduced by JR who sounds all slurred for some reason. HHH won an elimination match at Backlash to win the title and this is the rematch. Somehow this would go on for like a year with them in the main event of Mania 25.

 

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

 

In a cage as previously mentioned. Again the entrances take a combined five minutes. This also gets big match intros. It doesn’t really have the same ring to it after the Divas got this treatment. Orton goes for the door almost immediately but of course that doesn’t work. Somehow he manages to slam the door on the Game’s head to take over in the early going.

 

Basic stuff to start as both guys hammer on each other with nothing of note happening. Neckbreaker by HHH gets two as do a bunch of right hands. He gets sent into the cage and Orton gets all googly eyed. Into the cage again and Orton kicks away rather hard. This wasn’t from the side though so it won’t put HHH out for months on end. Elevated DDT hits for two.

 

Off to a quick chinlock before Orton hits a powerslam for two. This is Orton’s usual very slow paced match which doesn’t make anything interesting in the slightest. The fans want an RKO despite Orton allegedly being all evil and crazy and all that jazz. Regal is still looking on as sometime around this time it was when he cut Raw off the air early which was rather cool indeed.

 

Orton stomps away to really vary up his offense but a kneedrop misses. Off to the knee goes HHH now as I channel my bad Yoda impersonation. Figure Four goes on for a good while but Orton makes the rope. Even Lawler is like dude, that doesn’t mean anything in this but the referee breaks it anyway. Quick RKO attempt is countered into a Pedigree attempt which is countered by a backdrop by Orton.

 

Randy goes for the door but HHH makes a diving save. Orton somehow finds a chair on the floor and pulls it back in with him. That was done in the cage match with Flair and HHH at Taboo Tuesday also. Facebuster gets two as Orton can’t get a chair shot in yet. HHH gets the chair so Orton hits HHH in the game pieces to bring him back down. DDT on the chair somehow only gets two because after a DDT on a chair, Orton clearly can’t walk through a door right?

 

RKO onto the chair is blocked and it’s a Raven-esque drop toehold onto the chair to buy HHH some time as well as a two count. Orton takes over again and climbs but HHH is like screw that and they fight on the top rope. Down goes Viper boy so HHH climbs. Orton pops up to catch him as he’s on the top and the fight continues. Orton knocks him down and tries to climb over but HHH is like “Dude I’ve only held the title three weeks. Over my dead body” and pulls him back in.

 

HHH channels his inner Punk and tries a Pepsi Plunge (top/middle rope Pedigree) but that would be too big of a spot for him so Orton slams him to the mat. They fight on top some more as they haven’t done that enough in the last five minutes but Orton winds up getting crotched. Spinebuster puts Orton down again and it’s time for a Pedigree on the chair. That gets countered also and it’s time for a Punt. HHH isn’t feeling that though so he ducks, hits a chair shot and then the Pedigree ends this.

 

Rating: B-. Not bad here as they had some close calls and some decent stuff in about 22 minutes. As always they can’t have a classic so this is about as good as it gets for these two. HHH wasn’t a lock to win which helps it out a lot. Cage matches are hard to make believable but they came somewhat close here. Not bad at all for the main event of a b-level show.

 

Overall Rating: B. All things considered, this was rather good. You have a great match with Jericho vs. Shawn and the worst match is the opener, which oddly enough had Cena in it. I still don’t get that one. Anyway, this was a very good show overall which might have had to do with the total lack of anything resembling expectations for it. 2008 was a bad year for WWE as was 2009, which is what’s up next as we wrap up Judgment Day.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

 




Ziggler Out Of Extreme Rules Due To Concussion

Instead it’s going to be…..Del Rio vs. Swagger in a #1 contenders I Quit match.  You can’t mess with those concussions so I have zero issue with this.




Wrestlemania 29 Outsells Wrestlemania 28

At least in North America.  According to Meltzer, it had 750,000 North American buys, putting it slightly ahead of last year’s show.  It also made approximately $5 million more than last year.

 

WWE really is dying with Cena on top though.  No one would EVER pay to see him in the main event of Wrestlemania in a match where it was pretty obvious he was winning the title.

 

I’m rather surprised but also rather pleased with these results so far.




Judgment Day 2007: Fight Like He Hit Your Mama With A 2×4

Judgment Day 2007
Date: May 20, 2007
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 10,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Taz, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

 

This is during the time where they really didn’t know a lot about what they were doing. Cena is in the middle of his one year title reign and the main event is him vs. Khali who is undefeated at this point. Other than that the show is packed as we’re in the tri-branded shows again. We also have Team McMahon (Vince/Shane/Umaga) vs. Lashley for the ECW Title and Edge vs. Batista for the Smackdown title. Let’s get to it.

 

The video is about those three matches and how we don’t know what happens to us after we die. Ozzy Osbourne does the theme music here so I can’t complain much.

 

We have six commentators. Good freaking grief.

 

Ric Flair vs. Carlito

 

I think I vaguely remember Flair tutoring Carlito so I’d assume this is the blowoff for it. Flair chops and hammers away so hair boy hits the floor. Carlito gets a shot in to the arm to introduce some psychology. We enter into some arm work as Carlito amazes me with how lazy he got. Not in this match but in general. The fans get behind Flair of course in a wrestling town like this one.

 

Flair’s arm goes around the post as Naitch is in trouble. Carlito keeps mixing things up on the arm which is such a nice perk. It gets painfully boring to see someone use the same move over and over again. Putting an armbar on is fine but do other stuff too. More arm stuff follows as we’ve been doing for about five minutes now. Dropkick gets two.

 

Flair comes back with one arm chops but gets caught in a backdrop for two. Back to the armbar but Flair comes back with one arm. Good selling here by Flair. Backstabber doesn’t work and it’s time to go after the leg. This doesn’t take long as the Figure Four goes on and we’re done in just a few seconds.

 

Rating: B-. I rather liked this actually with Flair selling the arm well. The flaw to it was that once Flair woke up the arm didn’t really play much of a role in this as Flair does most of his stuff with one arm anyway. Still though, not bad as Flair teaches the brash young punk a lesson and wins clean. I do kind of question him winning here though but oh well.

 

We recap Shawn’s head injury which is a result of Khali chokebombing him through a table. With a concussion Shawn managed to beat Edge on Raw but Orton popped up post match to punt him, meaning his head is even worse.

 

Shawn tries to talk but gets jumped by Orton and sent into the set, messing him up again. They have a scheduled match later tonight.

 

We recap Team McMahon vs. Lashley which is fallout from Mania and Vince’s haircut. Vince won the ECW Title at Backlash, ticking off every ECW fanboy on the planet. He was still bald at this point so he has a bandana on. You can’t say they’re not pushing Lashley at this point. Basically it’s a handicap feud to make Lashley look like a monster.

 

ECW Title: Team McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

 

It’s Umaga, Vince and Shane if you forgot. Lashley had a legit injury at Backlash so he’s rather limited in what he can do. He wouldn’t be able to take time off until July though, which was his last match for the company. The belt looks like a toy at this point. They would trade it in for the big one they finished the brand with soon. Lashley has generic rock theme 19 here.

 

Lashley cleans house to start, getting a BIG pop when he gets his hands on Vince. Almost no reaction at all for the other two. We finally get down to Shane vs. Lashley which goes badly for the boy wonder. Umaga misses a corner splash as it hits Shane, allowing a powerslam to pin Shane to give Lashley his second ECW Title in about 75 seconds.

 

And never mind as Vince says it doesn’t count as he didn’t pin Vince. Umaga beats Lashley down post match. Lashley would get it back for real next month before having to drop it due to being drafted to Raw. Then it would be put up in a mini-tournament which was supposed to be won by Benoit. I think you guys know the story there.

 

Shawn is checked out by a trainer and is told he can’t compete.

 

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

 

Burke is more known as the Pope now. Punk has heavily taped ribs and IT’S CLOBBERING TIME!!! Burke wanted Punk in the ECW New Breed but Punk said no, so here’s a match. Basically Elijah is just a loudmouth at this point and is overly cocky. He’s a rare example of TNA taking a guy and doing FAR better with him than WWE did. The fans are behind Punk here.

 

Nothing of note to start other than some striking and Punk throwing on a chinlock. That makes sense here as he’s trying to conserve wind due to the ribs being injured. Punk keeps firing off kicks and adds a suplex for two. British Bulldog suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock, both by Punk if that wasn’t clear. That doesn’t last long as Punk hits a springboard reverse cross body for two.

 

Burke finally gets to the ribs and Punk can’t get the knee in the corner. Punk is noving very gingerly because of the ribs. GTS can’t hit so he settles for a springboard dropkick to send Burke to the floor. This has been almost all Punk for the first 8 minutes and he adds a suicide dive to the floor to continue his advantage. Burke manages to pull him off the top in almost a powerbomb style move and it’s time to work on the bad ribs.

 

Off to the body scissors and the fans chant for JBL for absolutely no reason at all. See, in contrast to the opener with Carlito doing a bunch of different stuff to Flair’s arm, Burke is using the same body scissors the entire time. There are TONS of moves and holds to use on the ribs but he uses the same one. Big difference and it made me enjoy the Carlito stuff more.

 

Punk gets out of it and they head to the corner. Superplex by Punk has both guys in EXTREME (it’s an ECW match so you have to capitalize that word) agony. Punk is up first and starts firing off strikes. Enziguri gets two. Knee in the corner hits this time but he can’t get the bulldog. Elijah Express (double knee in the corner) misses as does the GTS and an STO gets two for Burke. Double knees his this time and Punk is caught in the Tree of Woe for a bit before the cover only gets two. Punk reverses another STO and the GTS hits for the pin. We even get a faster count as per ECW tradition.

 

Rating: B. Good match here as they had a lot of time and it paid off in the end. Burke isn’t a guy that I was ever a fan of in WWE but this was a very good outing from him. Then again being in there with him probably didn’t hurt things at all. Punk would of course become a far bigger deal than Burke in WWE but that was to be expected.

 

Edge brags about beating Undertaker and how it’s his world title, not Batista’s. Interesting that all three are more or less retired at this point.

 

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Shawn has the head injury remember. Randy gets a face pop and isn’t hearing voices yet. Orton wants the forfeit win but here’s Shawn. Uh…maybe just his music. Oh there he is, barely able to stand up straight. He doesn’t do his pyro and can barely keep his eyes open. Dude, what did I tell you about chilling with the Hardys? The referee tries to talk him out of it and Shawn says ring the bell.

 

Orton drills him in the head as it rings and Shawn is in big trouble early. Oh we’re in St. Louis. That’s why he got the face pop. Elevated DDT gets two more than once. Shawn is gone and Orton keeps stomping. He sets for the RKO and Shawn just falls. He’s had no offense at all. Orton tries a super RKO but Shawn knocks him off and manages to drop an elbow somehow. He can’t even cover though so he sets for the kick. Shawn sets for it and just falls down and the referee stops it.

 

Rating: N/A. This ran about four minutes but you can’t call this a match as it wasn’t. This was an angle which was used to advance Orton. Soon he would completely dominate the upper midcard to become the mega challenger to Cena, ultimately taking the title when Cena was hurt in the fall.

 

RKO to Shawn post match draws his wife out to check on him. He leaves on a stretcher.

 

Khali yells in Hindi. He has the title belt despite not being champion. Not a good example for a cop.

 

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

 

No longer the Hardy Boys I guess. To give the Smackdown guys something to do they’re calling it. No real reason for this other than face tag team vs. heel tag team. Matt vs. Cade to start us off. Technical stuff so far as Matt takes over for the most part. Apparently Matt is a Smackdown guy despite being a Raw champion. Cade tries a wristlock and Matt BLASTS him with a forearm to counter. That looked great and sounded even better.

 

Off to Jeff to a BIG pop. Murdoch comes in also and there isn’t exactly a pop but maybe it’s implied? You can tell they’re in a long form match here as the faces have an extended control period to start. Matt gets a double axe off the middle rope for two. Cade comes in and takes over with Murdoch helping also.

 

And never mind as Jeff comes in for another pop. Slingshot dropkick gets two in the corner on Murdoch. Cade tries to leave and that gets us nowhere. Back to Jeff vs. Murdoch again and Jeff tries a front flip over the ropes. Murdoch steps to the side and Jeff CRASHES with a loud thud. Cade takes over again as Jeff sells like the master that he is. I mean at Victory Road he even managed to sell that he was a competent professional.

 

Off to the chinlock and Jeff gets beaten up even more. This is more of an extended Raw match which isn’t a bad thing here but just a bit different. Canadian Destroyer/Sunset Bomb by Murdoch gets two as Matt saves. Double tag and it’s off to Cade vs. Matt. After most of the house is cleaned, Cade takes Matt down for a bit. I guess he didn’t get to dust the top shelves. Not that it matters as the Twist of Fate and Swanton keep the belts in North Carolina.

 

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match here at all as you had an extended Raw match but the fans were certainly into it. Extended Raw matches are fine like here as you had two pretty good teams and therefore you got a good match out of it. What more can you really ask for here anyway? The country boys would get the titles in about two weeks.

 

They shake hands post match. Odd indeed.

 

Edge has a video for us, which is about him stealing the world title from the injured Undertaker after stealing MITB from the injured Kennedy. This was a big part of the Ultimate Opportunist thing. This is your hype video for Batista vs. Edge in case you weren’t clear on that.

 

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Batista

 

Edge got the title from Taker 9 days before this. Oddly enough he comes out first here. Batista has a bandaged leg from….I think a match with Taker who he was feuding with for a long time. The idea here is Edge did in three seconds what Taker couldn’t do in two months. The thing is it was just after a cage match with Batista and Henry coming out for a beatdown.

 

Edge backs off a lot to start. All Big Dave as he sends Edge to the floor but he gets his knee slammed into the steps and the Canadian takes over. Back in Batista goes shoulder first into the post as the psychology shifts a bit. A long armbar is actually countered by an arm drag and Batista gets him into the corner for the shoulders. Clothesline puts both guys down.

 

Powerslam gets two for Batista. Boss Man Slam (why does no one piuck that up as a finisher? Barrett uses it as a regular move but it’s a great finisher for a power guy) gets two as does an Edge-O-Matic for the champ. Edge sets for a spear but Batista gets a BIT one instead for two. Another powerslam and it’s Batista Bomb time. Edge counters but gets caught in a spinebuster. It hurts the knee though and Edge grabs a rollup for the pin to retain.

 

Rating: C. The ending isn’t a cop out as it seems. This was more about Edge getting dominated in the end but catching Batista in one error to retain, playing up the opportunist aspect of him. Anyway, not much of a match here as it felt like a SNME match, which is ok but it gets a bit dull at times. Edge would get hurt in like two months and Khali would get the title in a battle royal.

 

The Divas are asked who wins in Cena vs. Khali. Jillian thinks Khali is hot. Maria picks Batista. This is totally pointless.

 

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. MVP

 

MVP is challenging here and it’s 2/3 falls. They had a decent match at Mania and this is the rematch. Amazing to think this was two months before the Benoit stuff happened. This is the third match in their series. Apparently Benoit has a bad leg which is a running theme tonight. They feel each other out for a good while as Cole isn’t sure if DQs or countouts count.

 

All Benoit to start but he can’t get the Crossface. MVP grabs a headlock which gets him nowhere at all. Benoit hammers away and they hit the mat. The idea here was that in the first match Benoit completely outwrestled him then at Backlash Benoit had more trouble with him and now he’s having real trouble with him. MVP works on the leg for a good while.

 

Rolling Germans time but the knee gives out on the final one. Crossface goes on but he manages to get to the rope. Back to the knee but a big boot in the corner misses. Sharpshooter goes on but that doesn’t work either. Good stuff here for the most part but the whole work on a limb thing is getting a bit repetitive tonight. MVP tries to climb the ropes and Benoit gets him in an electric chair, but the knee goes out and the Playmaker gives MVP the first fall.

 

There’s a rest period and Benoit stretches his leg a bit. The knee is falling apart and MVP attacks it every chance he gets. Even on a cover MVP twists the leg around in a very nice touch. Leg lock goes on which becomes a Brock Lock and Chris is in trouble. Playmaker doesn’t work a second time as Benoit gets a SWEET counter into the Crossface but he can’t lock it in due to a shot to the knee. A big boot to the knee allows MVP to roll him up to win the title in two straight falls. He would hold it nearly a year.

 

Rating: C+. The knee work was good here but at the same time it got a bit annoying having this in about the fourth or fifth match tonight. Benoit would head to ECW rather soon and I think you know how that ended. Pretty decent match here though as MVP used the previous two matches to get the win here, which is psychology which is the best thing you can ask for.

 

We recap Cena vs. Khali. Someone laid out Shawn, Edge and Orton in one night to send a message to Cena so he called them out at the end of the night. It was Khali who then beat the tar out of him. Cena managed to get him in the FU position but Khali countered and hit the Chokebomb. The idea is Cena is the underdog here despite being champion. Khali beat Shawn clean to officially become #1 contender.

 

Raw World Title: Great Khali vs. John Cena

 

JR: “Cena has to compete tonight like Khali hit Cena’s mama with a 2×4.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? I mean was that something that was a common occurrence in Oklahoma? Is he drawing on personal experience? Could Khali speed it up a bit so that I can stop overreacting already? Khali is undefeated at this point.

 

Staredown to start and Cena pounds away but it gets him chopped in the head. Clothesline and a right hand sends him to the floor. Khali sends him to the steps and back in the ring puts his foot on the chest for two. Slam and a leg drop (BROTHER) get two. This is all Khali if that wasn’t clear. Cena tries to move a bit and gets the Throwback for two.

 

Back up and Cena hits the ropes but KHALI HITS A SPIN KICK!!! WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THAT GO AFTER THIS MATCH????? I almost rewound the tape to see if I really saw that but it was there. Out to the floor now and Cena is rammed into the table a few times. Off to a nerve hold which doesn’t last long because it’s just a nerve hold. A pair of shoulders is enough to tie Khali in the ropes for a bit. Cena charges instead of standing there but Khali gets out and hits a big boot to take him down.

 

Cena blocks the knockout chop but gets sent to the floor. Khali comes after him but Cena finally wakes up and dropkicks the steps into the knees. Top rope Fameasser and Khali is in trouble. STFU goes on and this is all or nothing for Cena. Khali finally taps but his foot was under the rope which is what set up the rematch the next month in a falls count anywhere match.

 

Rating: C. There was only so much they could do here and for the most part it worked I think. Khali didn’t have to do much out there which is ok also as his size makes up for it. They kept this should (a little over 8 minutes) and that was the best thing they could have done. They weren’t going to get a great match here no matter what but all things considered, this was about as good as they were going to get, especially since it never got totally unrealistic for Cena to come back.

 

Overall Rating: C+. This was definitely a B level show but it worked pretty well. There isn’t a bad match on the card and while the ratings for each were all pretty good, there’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. This is a show that you could easily skip and you would have been fine, which is why having another show in two weeks was a stupid idea. Not bad, but definitely not worth seeing.




On This Day: May 1, 2011 – Extreme Rules 2011: Take Wrestlemania And Add Gimmicks

Extreme Rules 2011
Date: May 1, 2011
Location: St. Pete Times Forum, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Booker T, Josh Matthews

I see this show as being like TLC from last year: there isn’t much of a difference in the stories from here and Wrestlemania so here are a bunch of gimmicks tacked on and we hope that you watch our show and don’t notice that we haven’t put much thought into this past month. The main event tonight (possibly) is Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the vacant world title. If Christian doesn’t win here, I doubt he ever will. Not really but it sounds good. Let’s get to it.

Opening video is pretty much what you would expect: TONIGHT IS EXTREME!!!

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

 

Last man standing here. New Nexus is with Punk as they continue to try to validate their existences. And never mind as an E-Mail throws them out. Punk takes the pad off a buckle before he even gets in. Hot start as they go right at it. We go to the floor quickly with Punk getting introduced to the barricade. They hit it off and are taking in a movie next Tuesday.

They go back into the ring as they’re keeping up that fast pace. The problem of course is that in last man standings, there’s no real point to buying into any counts until after at least 8 minutes. Punk grabs a kendo stick and the “brutal” part of the match starts. Multiple shots by Punk (Straightedge anyone?) gets about seven and now it’s payback time. Finisher attempts are exchanged and Orton sends Punk into a chair wedged in between the ropes to the floor for about 6.

Punk gets a solid kick to the head for about 8. As always in these matches, a lot of time passes with little happening due to the counting and setting up for the counting. Orton sends him into the barricade for six and we head back to the ring. GTS actually hits and Orton gets up at 9, only to fall back down a second later. That counts as being up though as it should. Punk throws in a chair and a Russian leg sweep onto it gets about 8.

To their feet and Punk tries another leg sweep. Orton pulls an RKO out of nowhere and both guys are down. Orton gets up as does Punk but he stumbles to the floor just after he gets up. Punk fights off the elevated DDT and wraps a chair around Orton’s throat to send it into the post. THAT gets 9 and Punk is ticked off. They go to the table and Punk tries the GTS on it….which wouldn’t add anything to the move but whatever. There’s the counter into an RKO onto the (non-breaking in this case) table and Punk stumbles to his feet somehow at 9. I would have bet on that being the ending.

Orton sets for a Punt but gets caught in a GTS into the steps. When I say the GTS I mean he gets dropped face first onto the steps which is really about all you can do with that move. Up at nine and Punk has a kendo stick. Punk sends Orton in and goes up top for some reason, only to have Orton intercept the stick and WEAR PUNK OUT with it as he’s hanging from the top. SUPER RKO from the top ends this with Orton barely beating the count.

Rating: B. I rather liked this one, mainly because they gave it a lot more time than I expected them to. I would have thought the ending was going to happen multiple times in there but they let it keep going. I think it was pretty clear Orton was going to win, but they had a lot of very close calls in there and it worked rather well. Much better than I expected actually.

Lawler heads to the back to get read and we recap the Draft.

Morrison is warming up.

Sheamus is ticked off that Teddy has added an extra match with him defending against Kofi in a tables match. He’s the US Champion and is defending against someone not from the US. He demands to see the birth certificate. This is FAR less stupid now that that whole issue is over.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Booker continues to imply Kofi should turn heel as we hit the floor early. First table is brought out by the pale one and set up on the floor. Back to the ring and Sheamus gets caught on the apron, only to hit a slingshot shoulder block to take Kofi down. Table #2 comes in and lands on top of Kofi. We hear about how Sheamus beat Cena in one of these to win the title which still blows my mind.

Table gets set up in the corner but Kofi fights out of it. Sheamus moves to avoid Kofi’s dive but Kofi is like screw it and does the splits in midair to land on the ropes with the table between his legs. Big boot sends Kofi flying over the table on the floor as Sheamus takes over again. The corner table is set up in front of the corner and Sheamus hammers away. Sheamus can’t suplex him onto a table on the floor and gets caught by Trouble in Paradise but it doesn’t put him through the table. The Boom Drop as Sheamus turns around does however to give Kofi the title.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and considering it was just a way to get a midcard title on Raw this was fine. Kofi of course is his usually solid self and Sheamus loses the title without getting pinned. This was perfectly fine and the ending plus some cool spots by Kofi were enough to push it over the top.

Truth complains about Morrison because that’s what he does anymore. He can’t spell conspiracy. The one thing he can’t stand is a thief which is what Morrison is. Back in the 80s this would have been a squash over a jobber and the point is just to establish that Truth is here for when he likely runs in later.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

 

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps. Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap. Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday. Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old. Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him. Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face. There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes. Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole. Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold. Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger! Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole. Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit. Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow. He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it. Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more. Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE! This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it? Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead. Match sucked too.

Over the Limit is in three weeks. Well of course it is.

Cena says he hasn’t been champion since June and will be champion again tonight. Short interview here.

We recap Rey vs. Cody. Not much to say here other than it’s been awesome from Cody and Rey messed up Cody, turning him into someone that thinks he’s grotesque despite looking the same as he always has. That’s some solid psychological stuff there.

Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Falls count anywhere. People hand out the bags which is a nice touch. Cody has promised to send Rey to the hospital on his way to Raw. Cody charges at Rey to start us off but Rey speeds thigns up to send him to the floor. They go up the ramp and Rey gets a seated senton off the stage for two. Out into the crowd as Rey kicks away at the head. NOT IN THE FACE!!!

Up towards the back of the arena with Cody kind of in control now. Into the back as this is more or less an old school hardcore match. Cody mangaes the Beautiful Disaster off a concession stand window for two. That looked awesome. Back to the ring as this has been a very stiff looking match. Rey tries his sitout bulldog but Cody reverses with a wheelbarrow drop onto the steps for two.

Cody picks Rey up like a 24 pack and throws him into the ring. Rey fights back and sets for the 619, intentionally exposing his knee brace. Cody counters and hits an Alabama Slam for two. Up we go but Rey FIRES GREEN MIST at Cody to send him flying. 619 out of nowhere and the springboard splash finishes completely clean.

Rating: B. Another good match here, mainly due to them beating the tar out of each other. This feud was solid and at least Cody got the win at Mania which looks better on his resume and will be what is remembered. Good stuff overall here and the mist was a nice touch despite messing up the racial stereotypes again.

Layla apologizes to the Divas for being mean to them over the years. They say they don’t like her but they like Michelle less.

Cole is back on commentary. Oh joy.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

 

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla cries as she leaves.

Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.

Alberto gives Ricardo instructions on how to announce the ending.

We recap Edge’s retirement and the title being vacant. This gets the 3 Doors Down video again which makes me smile. Edge was supposed to defend in a ladder match but had to retire due to a neck injury so Christian took his place by winning a battle royal.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

 

Ladder match here. Well we’re in Christian’s match with Edge’s momentum behind him in his (kind of) hometown. If he doesn’t win here, he’s never going to have a better chance. Brawl to start and Christian goes for the ladder only for the king of the golden banana hammock to take over. Baseball slide into the ladder into Del Rio as Christian takes control right back.

First ladder is brought in and Del Rio gets in a shot to take over. Christian is knocked to the floor as Del Rio gets the big ladder set up between the table and the ring like a platform. Suplex is blocked but Christian is kicked into the steps hip first. The Canadian gets knocked off the top onto a ladder and then jumps onto Del Rio to keep the advantage for the most part.

Up goes Christian but we’re only about 8 minutes into this so that’s not the ending. They slug it out but the Killswitch is avoided. Del Rio is sent into the ladder arm first. Big ladder goes up in the middle of the ring but Del Rio chucks a stepladder at Christian for the save. Codebreaker to the arm with Del Rio on the small ladder and Christian coming off the big ladder which looked awesome.

Del Rio works on the arm a bit as Cole declares Christian done. The small ladder (I smell an alliance with Horny) is used again but Del Rio goes crashing into the big ladder to put him down. Christian goes up again, only to get caught by Alberto in a kind of powerbomb move which is countered by a rana by Christian. They fight over a chance to put the other through the ladder platform but Christian gets a suplex onto a ladder to put Del Rio down.

Alberto goes up, only to be stopped but the arm goes out on Christian as Alberto keeps control. Chair slipped in by Ricardo which goes nowhere. Back in the ring Christian busts out a SPEAR to put Del Rio down. I guess he isn’t a master of it though as Del Rio makes the save by pulling Christian through the rungs of the ladder. Christian slips free, sending Alberto into the corner where the stepladder gets kicked into his face again.

Christian gets laid out on the platform ladder and Del Rio goes up for an elbow/legdrop/splash/whatever. Christian moves though and the ladder DOESN”T BREAK. FREAKING OW MAN! There goes the Canadian but Brodus runs in to move the ladder and pull him down. Stepladder shot puts Clay down as Del Rio comes back in to take over. Cross armbreaker with the arm in the ladder makes Christian tap which means nothing.

Christian is busted open so we bust out the towel. Alberto sets up the ladder and has to take his time as first aid is administered, making this look REALLY FREAKING STUPID. He goes up but a horn honks and Edge is in a car. Brodus is busted BAD. The distraction lets Christian shove Alberto onto Clay and Christian is champion. One important thing here: Edge stands off to the side for a good while to let Christian celebrate on his own.

Rating: B. Another rather good match here and this is the right move. I’m skeptical about Christian as champion still, but this was 100% the right call given the circumstances. He gets the chance to run with things here, despite being 37 now. It’s a gamble, but it’s not a huge walk the plank one so I don’t have many complaints here. Rather good match too but nothing we haven’t seen before for the most part.

Edge celebrates with Christian but DOESN’T STEAL THE SPOTLIGHT.

Package on Orton’s movie at a film festival. I think they’ve figured out the idea here: let the actors do the acting and let the WWE guys have supporting roles. It’ll do a lot better.

Riley gives Miz a pep talk as the fans can be heard heckling Del Rio.

Tag Titles: Kane/Big Show vs. Wade Barrett/Ezekiel Jackson

 

Lumberjack match here which is really needed as it’s 10:15 and we only had the Raw title match left. Show vs. Barrett to start us off as Show dominates. Kane comes in with his low dropkick for two. Everything breaks down quickly as Show beats up various jobber lumberjacks as Jackson runs over Kane to take over. Double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a bit of a mess. It’s a bonus match though so you really can’t complain that much.

Off to Show who cleans a few rooms but gets sent to the floor by Jackson. Jobbers pound on him which means they’ll be his dinner later. DH Smith is actually here. Wow indeed. They finally get Show back in and Jackson slams him, but Barrett wants the glory. The glaring between the foreigners allows Show to grab a chokeslam to retain over Barrett. Just a quick match here.

Rating: D+. Again, it’s a bonus match so you really can’t complain much here. They filled in the card and pushed the whole Corre breaking down thing. This was fine for what it was as they weren’t expected to do anything of note. I’m done will filling in space here but with this sentence I get four lines out of it so I’m happy.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

 

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape. Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him. Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already. Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save. Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves. They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air. I give up. Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster. That looked SICK. Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape. Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes. Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape. He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do. With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door. Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor. Cena gets two on Morrison. BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two. Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz. They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down. Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head. Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison. Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused. Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage. He hasn’t touched Miz. Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up. He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena. They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore. Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena? Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine. The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts. This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign. They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

Overall Rating: A-. Dude this show was pretty awesome. There are good matches throughout, some history thrown in there and two bonus matches, one of which was pretty good. This is a lot like TLC: it wasn’t meant to be an epic show but rather fun instead and that’s just what they did here. Good stuff throughout and not boring at all with everyone working hard. That’s what you want here and it paid off. Very good show and rather fun overall.

Results

Randy Orton b. CM Punk when Punk couldn’t answer the ten count

Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Boom Drop through a table

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger b. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler – Cole pinned Ross with a rollup

Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes – Springboard splash

Layla b. Michelle McCool – Crucifix Pin

Christian b. Alberto Del Rio – Christian pulled down the championship

Big Show/Kane b. Ezekiel Jackson/Wade Barrett – Big Show pinned Barrett after a chokeslam

John Cena b. John Morrison and The Miz – Cena pinned Miz after an Attitude Adjustment off the top

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