Wrestlemania 22
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

Now this is an interesting show.  We’re now fully into what I guess you would call the modern era of both the company and Mania.  Cena is the dominant world champion, Orton was his evil self, Taker’s Streak is at full power and Shawn is his Christian self.  This show is much like 19: it’s solid, but easily forgettable for some reason.  The wrestling is good but at the same time nothing jumps off the page at you.

This is also Kurt Angle’s more or less swan song in WWE as far as major angles go.  He was drafted to ECW a few months later and after that did little to anything of note until his release and arrival in TNA.  Jeff Hardy was about four months away from his comeback.  The card looks somewhere between good and better than good so let’s get to it.

An added factor to this show is that I went to the follow up Raw exclusive PPV, Backlash, the next month.  Since I remember it fairly well, I’ll be able to throw in some post show stuff leading up to Backlash.

After America the Beautiful it’s the standard history package to start with I Dare You by Shinedown playing which is a very good song here. The recap videos are something that WWE has always done very well. I don’t remember much of this buildup as it was three years ago but the packages help a lot. The theme song here is Big Time which is a bad pop song. Wrestlemania is supposed to have a freaking ROCK song with it, not a bad pop song.

A video runs us through the main matches and I have to think of the stupid Rey main event tour.  Also tonight it’s Cena vs. HHH and Shawn vs. Vince.  This is one of the weaker Manias as far as cards go if you didn’t get that.
Raw Tag Titles: Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

This was around the time that the two giants were just crushing everyone in their paths with reckless abandon. Carlito and Masters were two young guys that weren’t quite thrown together to face them here. As usual the Chicago crowd is white hot.  Kane and Show come out together and weigh over 800lbs.  How in the world is Kane the lightweight on a team?

Masters vs. Kane to start us off here.  This is the first time in seven years that the titles have been defended at Mania in a traditional tag match.  That’s kind of pathetic when you think about it.  Show comes in and drills Masters a bit.  Big chop in the corner makes people say WOO even though it’s a different kind of chop than Flair threw.

Show slams him and steps on the chest of Masters who tags out to Carlito.  The Puerto Rican tries a wristlock and is promptly lifted up into the air and crotched with ease.  Show launches Carlito onto Masters on the floor.  Kane throws out a clothesline to both but lands between them resulting in a massive THUD on the floor but is up first.  Total and complete dominance so far.

Somehow the challengers got the buckle off and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee to send Show’s head into the buckle.  Off to Masters now but like idiots they try a double suplex and get launched for their troubles.  Kane comes in and a huge backdrop takes down Carlito.

Carlito gets a boot up and that more or less ends his offense.  Masters manages to get the Masterlock on Kane but Show kicks him in the face to break it.  Backstabber to Kane but Carlito walks into a chokeslam.  Masters saves but Kane gets up.  There’s no end to these guys.  Chokeslam to Carlito ends this.

Rating: D+. It wasn’t a classic but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was little more than a glorified squash and that’s just fine for an opener. Both teams would be split up within a month though as the heels argued over who cost them the match here, leading to the Backlash opener which the newly face Carlito would win with a Backstabber. Kane and Show would lose the tag titles to the Spirit Squad of all people and Kane would begin to go insane.

They began a weird tweener vs. face feud where Kane’s voice would play throughout the arena as somehow not only could we hear his thoughts but they were wired around the arena. It tied in somehow to Kane’s See No Evil movie, but it was still pretty bad. It culminated with a fake Kane, apparently from Kane’s past, beating Kane at Vengeance. It made no sense and was a total waste of about three months.

Masters and Carlito argue post match with the fans supporting Carlito.

Shawn says he doesn’t regret telling Vince that Vince needed to grow up because it was the truth.  He talks about how he’s always stealing the show at Mania but not to expect a five star classic out of HBK.  Tonight is about violence because tonight it’s Vince that needs to pray as tonight Vince is enduring his own personal torment.
Money in the Bank

Matt Hardy, Shelton Benjamin, Finlay, Ric Flair, Lashley, Rob Van Dam
Lillian in that dress with the cut down to her stomach made me lose consciousness for a bit there.  Shelton is IC Champion here so no defense of it again.  All four commentators are talking here.  Van Dam is pretty clearly the most popular guy here.  Lashley is a freaking beast.  Flair comes out last because I guess he’s the most exciting one with a ladder?  That pink robe kind of makes me think he’s not very extreme.

This is only the second of the matches so there isn’t really a track record.  RVD chant to start as Lashley destroys everyone with power.  Matt brings in the first ladder but Van Dam hits a baseball slide to stop it from coming in and dives on the ladder onto Hardy.  No one is in the ring at the moment until Finlay vs. Shelton goes on there.  Shelton hammers him with a ladder which is set up in front of the ropes like a ramp.  Shelton gets a running start and hits a big flip off of it onto everyone not named Flair.

Finlay and Flair go up but the ladder isn’t in the right place for Flair.  Matt goes up and suplexes the young 57 year old down.  Flair is in agony and the referee throws up the X for him.  Hey, did you know he broke his back in a plane crash in the 70s?  Didn’t know if the first million or so times we told you that got it through or not.  RVD drops Shelton onto the ladder but misses Rolling Thunder on it.  There are only five people in there still at the moment.

Lashley goes up very slowly of course but Shelton runs up only to get popped in the head.  Shelton fights him off but can’t get a sunset bomb to take him down.  Matt and Finlay help him out and down goes Lashley finally.  Another big RVD chant starts up.  Matt takes over on offense but when he puts a ladder in front of Finlay to charge at him Finlay throws the ladder at him for a FREAKING OW MAN moment.

Here comes Flair because he hasn’t been on camera for almost five minutes.  Did he need to be oiled or something?  Since the ring is empty he sets up a ladder but is stopped by Matt.  Flair chops some people away and touches the case.  Finlay pops up with the club that no one can spell and takes Flair down.  The case is swinging though so Shelton is able to stop him or at least slow him down.

Shelton knocks him down and tries to go up but Lashley shoves it down.  Van Dam hasn’t been seen in a good while.  Oh there he is with a chair on the top.  He jumps off and dropkicks the chair into the ladder and everyone is down.  Hardy, the idiot that he is, sets up a ladder in the corner.  Oh instead he’s doing a signature move instead of trying to win.  What a shock.

He goes up and gets a hand on it, drawing a ton of boos.  Finlay makes the save and we’re told he’s not a ladder specialist.  Dude you go up.  How hard can it be?  Side Effect to Finlay off the ladder takes down Finlay, Hardy and the ladder.  Van Dam climbs the ladder in the corner and drops a regular splash on Finlay.  It’s good that he didn’t do the Five Star version as he would have killed himself.

In one of my all time favorite spots, Van Dam goes up top but Shelton springboards from the apron to the top rope to the ladder to catch Van Dam.  That’s simply incredible and beats everything I’ve ever seen.  Matt puts up another ladder but he and Shelton go down.  Van Dam is alone and is like dude that’s awesome and wins the match by pulling down the case.  He would win the title in June but lose it in three weeks due to getting high with Sabu.

Rating: B. Solid stuff here of course but WAY too short to be a great match.  This was less than twelve and a half minutes long to give you an idea of how short it was. This was good but at the same time they needed more to it.  Also with only Lashley and Van Dam being legit contenders out there it was a bit weaker than last year.  Good match though.

Josh Matthews, with a lot of hair, is with Gene Okerlund who has no hair.  Orton interrupts and says he’ll win the title tonight.  Batista pops up and says he’s returning soon, which is true.  Just three short months later he did return.

It’s time for the Hall of Fame class to come out.  Bret Hart isn’t here which is understandable I guess.  The rest is Mean Gene, Sensational Sherri, Tony Atlas (they’re all accompanied by Divas here if that means anything), Verne Gagne, William “Refrigerator” Perry (he couldn’t get a suit for this?) the Blackjacks, Eddie Guerrero (represented by Vickie who wasn’t a TV character yet) and of course Bret who isn’t here.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit
No real storyline here as it’s really just JBL challenging him for the belt. In a really cool looking visual, the entrance ramp rises up like a garage and JBL’s limo drives out of it. Good lord Jillian Hall looks amazingly hot as a cowgirl.  JBL has a hand injury here.  JBL grabs a headlock to start and takes Benoit down with a shoulder.  Benoit tries the Crossface out of nowhere but can’t lock it in.

Instead Chris settles for some hard chops in the corner.  Out to the floor and JBL hides behind Jillian to take over.  Benoit tries to chop back so JBL KICKS HIM IN THE FACE.  Why mess with what works?  Rolling Germans by Benoit must have JBL wanting to throw out some Nazi salutes.  Benoit goes but get crotched.  Eh with all those steroids in him the balls didn’t feel anything.  JBL does Eddie’s dance to draw big heat and hits a superplex for two.

In a stat that I find almost impossible to believe, Cole says that only 5 matches in Mania history have ended in submission. I had to stop the match and go back to check on that. I found 7: Angle vs. HBK (21), Benoit vs. HBK vs. HHH (20), Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware (6), Steve Austin vs. Savio Vega (12-sleeper) Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin (13-Austin never tapped so I’m not sure if that counts), Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis (3-sleeper) and Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund (11).

Even with Cole being wrong, that’s still amazing. 7 in the first 21 shows meaning just one every three years. That’s either really impressive or really bad.  Anyway JBL dances a bit more and hits Three Amigos.  Benoit counters the third one but gets kicked in the face for two for his troubles.  Off to a chinlock by JBL as things slow down a bit.

Benoit fights back and does Three Amigos of his own with Cole saying “this is how it’s done”, despite Benoit getting up differently than Eddie did.  JBL did the same thing Eddie did.  Flying headbutt by Benoit gets a long two.  Clothesline misses but JBL grabs the referee to avoid the suplex.  Clothesline attempt #2 is caught into the Crossface but JBL casually rolls him over and grabs the rope for the title.  That’s the ending?  Really?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s all there is here? The ending was flat out terrible. It made no sense at all and came from nowhere. JBL literally wasn’t in the Crossface for two seconds, and I timed it, before he rolled out. This match felt like it didn’t have a beginning and started at about 5 minutes in if that makes sense. Really not that good at all.

We recap the hardcore match between Edge vs. Mick Foley.  Now this is the match this show is remembered for and with good reason. The story is that Edge stole the WWE Title from Cena using his MITB contract. Foley was the referee for some reason during the rematch, won by Cena. Edge of course says it was biased officiating. That leads to Edge challenging Foley, but Foley saying it’s hardcore. We get this.
Edge vs. Mick Foley
Joey Styles is on commentary here as he freaking well should be. Lita looks INSANELY hot here with the Edge vest, bra and jeans. Good freaking lord. Edge has a ball bat with him. Edge’s facial expressions as Foley comes to the ring makes this match already. That’s his best asset and always has been. When he gets in a big match, Edge’s face is just amazing. Foley has his (blue) flannel shirt on so you know he’s serious here.

Styles actually analyzes Foley’s choice of flannel which is a bit odd. Styles really is a great choice for commentary here as his voice just fits this.  Edge swings away with the bat almost immediately which gets him nowhere.  Tree of Woe by Edge early as Foley drops an elbow on him.  Edge gets a shot in and has Lita hand him a cookie sheet.

These shots are LOUD.  Foley takes a street sign to the head and rubs hit stomach.  Do the sheets smell like cookies?  Edge hits the spear after maybe two minutes and is writhing in pain from it.  Foley gets up and rips off the blue flannel to reveal a belt made of barbed wire and the RED FLANNEL SHIRT!!!  Foley whips him with the barbed wire and Edge is bleeding from the arm.

Edge is now tied up in the rope and the crowd pops for it.  Foley hits the floor and finds Barbie, the barbed wire baseball bat.  Lita comes in for the save by jumping on Foley’s back (seriously is there anyone she won’t hit on?) so Foley is like screw it and we get a Cactus Clothesline to the floor.  That and a neckbreaker outside both get two.

It appears Foley has become Cactus Jack but when he tries a running knee into Edge into the steps he gets hip blocked into the steps which looked awful.  Again the knees go into the steps.  Does anyone wonder why Foley can barely walk anymore?  Chair time by Edge.  Sorry that there aren’t many jokes in this but there’s not much to make fun of.  Edge hits the floor again and busts out a table.

Foley rolls off before Edge can put him through it so instead he just rams him into the steel of the ramp.  That sound made me cringe.  Back in the ring now and Edge has…oh blast it he has lighter fluid.  He pours it on Foley but Mick is able to get a Piledriver to save his own life.  Using a cookie sheet instead of a second chair Edge almost takes a Conchairto.  He manages to get up and give Foley a DDT (not) on the cookie sheet.

Edge with Barbie now (is Lita Ken?) and he hammers Foley with it to draw blood.  A bulldog onto Barbie gets two.  Out to the floor goes Edge and he finds a bag of tacks.  Oh dear.  Apparently he had a bunch of weapons hidden underneath the stairs.  Foley manages to reverse though and suplexes Edge onto the tacks.  Considering Edge wasn’t wearing a shirt that was awesome.

Here’s Socko but Foley wraps it in barbed wire.  Claw to Lita as well and now Foley has Barbie (make sure to use protection since Edge already had her).  Edge takes a shot to the head and is busted open as well.  Oh man he’s cut BAD.  Foley, the nice guy that he is, rips the barbed wire deeper into the skin of our Canadian villain.

Foley finds the lighter fluid and holds it up like a treasure in a Zelda game.  The table gets soaked in it and yep they light it on fire.  In the famous spot from this show, Edge dives through the ropes and spears Foley into the flaming table, burning both men in the process.  The pin is academic.

Rating: A. They wanted to make Edge look awesome and they certainly did it here.  Foley looked great too as once in awhile he can break out a great match and that’s what he did here.  This was exactly what they needed and was enough to let Edge get back into the main event.  Great match and the Mania moment that both guys were looking for.  In true WWE style, they would be partners weeks later.

Foley gets a standing ovation to leave.
Booker and Sharmell are in the back and Sharmell is freaking over Boogeyman. Booker says he’s not a freak magnet. He then runs into Pirate Paul Burchill and then Ted DiBiase and Eugene doing the basketball thing as I mark out.  The basketball thing was where DiBiase would say that if a guy could bounce a basketball 100 times in a row he would give them 1000 dollars.

On about 97 he would kick it away.   He laughs and offers Booker a chance at it, saying everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man. Seriously people, go look up his old stuff. In my opinion, he is still the greatest heel that ever lived. One more note about the basketball trick, back in the 80s, a young man from Battle Creek, Michigan named Rob was swindled by DiBiase. He eventually changed his name to Rob Van Dam.

He also finds Snitsky licking Mae Young’s toes and Goldust dressed as Oprah.  I love these kinds of segments.  Goldie says Booker has to accept the freak in him to beat the Boogeyman.  There’s talk of worms in mouths and in a place that Booker is angry over having Goldust whisper to him.  DiBiase’s laugh takes us off.

Ad for Backlash.  Hey I was there!

We see some sweepstakes winners that no one cares about.

Joe Theisman and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child are here.

Booker T/Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

The idea here is Booker keeps faking injuries to get out of matches and is threatened with being fired if he doesn’t wrestle. He was found out anyway and here’s your result.  Oh and they’re both terrified of Boogey.  Yes Booker, a five time world champion, is terrified of the Boogeyman.  Booker wants Sharmell to start us off.  It’s weird to hear Cole as a normal announcer at this point.

Booker comes in and hammers away.  This is about what you would expect: Booker pounds away, it doesn’t work, Boogey dances a lot and Booker still can’t hurt him.  Book End hits and Boogeyman gets up at two.  Booker is sent into the post and Boogeyman pulls out a pocket full of worms.  He has a snack and Sharmell tries to hit Boogey with his staff.  She gets kissed by a mouth full of worms and runs.  Chokebomb ends this with Boogeyman winning.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this, you’re an idiot.  Did Booker get caught screw Stephanie while giving TNA inside information and choking out Vince at the same time or something?

We recap Trish vs. Mickie.  In short, Mickie was psycho and wanted Trish.  This involved seeing Trish in the shower and kissing her.  I think they dressed up as each other a few times also.  Trish finally has enough and Mickie loses it.  Trish has been champion for like a year at this point so the title change was long overdue.  Watching this video, the build to this was pretty awesome.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

The main perk here would be their looks.  Mickie would wear these really loose skirts which would often fly into the air.  To the shock of no one, Trish looks incredible.  It’s so ridiculous to see how far the Divas have fallen today.  These girls have personality and are interesting and I want to see them fight after what felt like a somewhat epic storyline built around them.

Trish goes right after her and gets a Thesz Press to take her down.  Big chop puts Mickie down.  Trish knocks Mickie down into the splits and then kicks her in the head.  Out to the floor and the Chick Kick hits the post to set the story for this match.  Mickie works the knee because she’s intelligent despite being psycho.

She DDTs the leg for two as the fans are almost ALL behind Mickie here.  Lots of knee work here which is the main thing involved in Trish’s finishers.  She pulls Trish’s hair and slams Trish’s face into the mat in a painful looking move.  Mickie jumps onto the leg and spins around, looking for praise.

Mickie is mixing up her offense on the leg between holds and strikes to it.  See, THAT is important.  It makes things far more interesting as instead of just sitting around with one thing we get a variety.  She puts a leg bar on but Trish wraps her legs around Mickie’s head and gets a headscissors out of it.  That was rather good actually.

They slug it out a bit more with neither girl having a real advantage.  Mickie goes up but Trish catches her in the Stratusphere.  Mickie counters that though and drapes the leg over the top rope again which gets two.  Half crab is rolled up into a small package which gives us two and a great back shot.  Mickie goes up again but is caught by a sitout powerbomb for two.

Trish hammers away and the Matrish avoids a kick of some sort.  She sets for Startusfaction but Mickie rubs Trish’s crotch to break it up and then licks the hand that was down there.  See, little things like that get the gimmick over.  They set for the ending which is Mickie using the Stratusfaction but Mickie TOTALLY misses the rope and botches the heck out of it.  A weak kick to the head ends it instead.  JR’s line of THE NUTJOB HAS WON THE TITLE sums this up perfectly.

Rating: B. This would have been an A if not for the finish. I’m not sure which is better: the tiny outfits and how sexy both were in them or the fact that this was really a great match. The botch at the end almost kills this though, but aside from that it’s great and one of the best women’s matches I’ve ever seen.  More importantly than anything though: I cared about it because there was an interesting storyline with developed characters.  DO THAT MORE OFTEN!
All four McMahons are in the back and they pray.  What do you really expect here?

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

This match came about after Henry was for some reason pushed as top heel on Smackdown, feuding with Angle for the title. Angle beat him clean at the Rumble and then Taker had Angle beat for the title on Smackdown but Henry attacked the dead man.  Taker than challenged Henry to a Casket Match for some reason and we get this.  No buildup video for this either as they’re not even trying to convince us the Streak is in jeopardy.  Henry is of course not afraid of the dark.

Taker gets the big entrance with the druids.  Oh wait that’s just for the casket.  Hey we do get a brief recap.  I see why it didn’t get a full one.  Daivari is Henry’s manager at this point but isn’t here.  This would lead to the debut of Great Khali.  Henry jumps Taker during his entrance, more or less sealing his fate.  Taker gets a big boot and clothesline but can’t take Henry down.

Clothesline by Henry shifts momentum a bit.  Can you believe that this is the same guy that was able to have classics with Shawn and then on the other hand you have Henry who had been there ten years at this point and has gotten worse after starting bad?  If you can’t tell I’m trying to not have to talk about the match.  Henry goes into the steps, Taker goes into the steps, Old School is blocked and the casket is open.

No one in the world thought Henry had a chance here and the fans are more or less accepting that.  When Henry is on offense there’s no heat at all.  Taker gets a boot to the shoulder and hammers away on it.  Old School hits this time and Henry still won’t go down.  Taker tries a Downward Spiral but is blocked, drawing a Henry Sucks chant.

Henry goes after Taker but misses, landing in the casket.  Taker winds up in there also and they fight in there for a bit.  Taker reaches up and chokes away as this is already needing to end.  Back in the ring with Taker striking but he jumps into the World’s Strongest Slam for no cover as Henry isn’t that intelligent.  Taker stands up in the casket and gets out rather easily.

Taker gets beaten down in the corner and then like the moron that he is, Henry climbs up to pound down punches.  When do you see Taker try cross bodies or Henry do that?  Not a fan of moves like those.  Taker doesn’t get a Last Ride but more or less falls forward to put Henry down.  Henry goes onto the casket so Taker dives over it to take him down.  Tombstone in the ring and the ending is academic.

Rating: D. This was bad for one simple reason: there was no drama to it at all.  Taker matches at Mania can work very well but at the same time there are matches where there’s no point to him being there, such as this one.  I mean dude, Mark Henry?  This was a joke and everyone knew it.  Boring match and nothing happened at all.

There’s a Divas Lingerie show coming up or something.

We recap Shawn vs. Vince.  There was a Raw in Montreal and Shawn apologized to the fans, who kind of accepted it. Vince comes out and laughs about it. Shawn says he needs to grow up, then throws a super kick at him, intentionally missing by as little a margin as he can. This launched a feud which mainly consisted of Vince trying to get Shawn hurt.

Marty Jannetty returned to try to help Shawn but was fired after something like two weeks. Shane faced Shawn on SNME in a street fight and they redid the Montreal finish. Somewhere in there Shawn was forced to kiss up to Vince. It was an ok feud but nothing great. The blowoff was supposed to be here, so let’s take a look.  This was supposed to be Bret but he didn’t do it for four years.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Shawn comes out first which is kind surprising.  Vince is demonic according to JR as he comes out.  McMahon is very proud of his physique and can you blame him?  He has a framed cover of his Muscle and Fitness magazine at ringside which might as well have an X on the middle for the part that goes on his head.  Shawn goes straight to the floor and we head to the tables quickly.

JR loses his headset which makes this match more enjoyable.  Shawn grabs the framed cover and cracks it over Vince’s head.  JR is completely one sided here because of Vince treating him badly over the years or something.  The Spirit Squad hits the ring to make it 6-1.  Who would have thought that Dolph Ziggler (Nicky!) would be a world champion before Shawn?

They hit their finisher which is where they all grab the other guy and throw him into the air as high as they can.  Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop and Mikey grabs the bullhorn which is applied to the sides of their heads.  Vince is able to recuperate during that time and hammers away a bit.  Off comes the belt and the whipping begins.

Vince sets for Sweet Chin Music which is caught.  Maybe he should have tuned up with a little Stand Back before he did that.  Shawn fires away with the forearm and nip up so he can whip Vince a bit.  Top rope elbow hits and it’s time to Tune Up the Band.  Cue Shane with a kendo stick to crack Shawn in the head.

With Shane standing guard, Vince takes down his own pants.  Yep it’s time for the kissing spot but Shawn gets his momentum back and sends Shane’s face into his dad’s back.  Shawn pulls handcuffs out of somewhere (Vince maybe?) and ties Shane to the rope.  After doing Shane’s dance, Shawn beats the tar out of him with the stick.

Chair time and a HUGE shot puts Vince down.  Shawn sets for chin music but stops as Vince collapses.  Instead he hits the floor and pulls out a ladder.  A shot to the head puts down Vince as I think you know what’s coming here.  Vince is dripping blood here.  Chin Music is stopped again as Vince is almost lifeless.

Shawn pulls out some garbage cans and a table.  Shane is still cuffed mind you.  The table is set up after a can shot.  Shawn goes up the ladder with Vince on the table and then climbs down.  He had a scary look on his face before he came down.  Out to the floor again and it’s the BIG ladder.  Lawler says it’s 30ft high, meaning Shawn is about 15 feet tall.  Shawn fires a crotch chop from the ladder and drops the biggest elbow ever to kill Vince.  Sweet Chin Music finally ends this with Vince just collapsing from it.  The pin is academic of course.

Rating: C+. Well this was supposed to be a beating and that’s exactly what it was.  Vince can take one heck of a beating when he has to and this was no exception.  Shawn looked great here with the whole letting the old Shawn sneak in as his mind was being affected by Vince.  Good beating but Vince had literally nothing for about 8 minutes at the end.  Granted he wasn’t supposed to so that’s easily forgivable.  Fun stuff but not great.

Vince flips off Shawn from the stretcher which is just classic.

WM 23 is coming to Detroit.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match.  Angle is the champion.  Rey won the Rumble in honor of Eddie Guerrero and last eliminated Randy Orton to win.  Orton went insane heel by saying Eddie was burning and managed to get Rey vs. Orton at No Way Out for the Mania title shot.  Orton won and Teddy just made it a triple threat because he could.  You knew there would be a triple threat in there somehow.  This gets the music video treatment tonight, set to I Dare You by Shinedown.  Love that song.

Smackdown Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

POD plays Rey to the ring which is always awesome to see.  This would be cool but Rey has a massive headdress on which I think is taller than he is.  Dang it Rey does no one look at you before you go out there?  Orton is very cocky here and therefore awesome.

Kurt got the title when Batista was injured and Kurt won a battle royal.  See, that’s the perk of having guys like him or Shawn.  Got an injury?  Need a totally credible main eventer to throw in there?  How about Kurt Angle or Shawn Michaels as world champion?  I think most people would be cool with that.  I would be.

Orton jumps Kurt and the fight is on.  Kurt is on the floor and Orton gets a dropkick on Rey for two.  Angle gets back in and grabs a German on Orton.  Then he suplexes both at once and Rey goes FLYING.  That was awesome looking.  Angle is all fired up here.  Belly to belly to Orton as Kurt is killing it.  Rey hammers away at baldie and the fans audibly boo.  But it’s about EDDIE!!!

In a great spot, Orton is sitting on the ropes and Rey charges at Angle.  Angle grabs him and launches him over Kurt’s head and Rey lands in a perfect rana on Orton for two.  Angle suplexes Orton back into the ring and the fans are behind him.  Rey gets a kick to Kurt’s head to take him down for two.  The fans chant 619 and Rey gets a headscissors to Kurt who crawls into the 619 position like an idiot.

Ok maybe not so much of an idiot as Kurt grabs the ankle lock out of nowhere.  Orton distracts the referee so the tapping by Rey isn’t seen.  Kurt and Orton slug it out but I guess Kurt gets bored so he suplexes everyone in sight and hits the Angle Slam to Rey to the floor.  Ankle lock to Orton and Kurt gets the grapevine.  Rey pulls the referee out as Orton taps so Kurt has won twice in theory.

Kurt throws it on again but this time Rey drops the dime to break it up for two.  Fans aren’t thrilled by that at all.  Rey is sent into the post but Orton counters the Angle Slam and hits the RKO for two.  Randy goes up so Kurt pops up the corner and gets the belly to belly.  Rey botches the 619 then does it right.

Seated Senton gets two on Kurt.  Orton kicks Kurt to the floor and gets a slick backbreaker into a neckbreaker for two on Rey.  He sets for the RKO but Angle hits the Slam on him for two.  Rey avoids the Slam and sends Kurt to the floor via an armdrag.  619 sets up the West Coast Pop to Orton to give Rey his first world title in less than ten minutes.  Seriously, that’s it?

Rating: D+. Seriously, that’s it?  The match was ok but for a world title match at Wrestlemania, that’s it?  How many world title matches have you seen at Wrestlemania that don’t crack nine and a half minutes?  The title reign was awful, namely due to him being booked like a joke but that’s another story.  The match was ok but I thought it was clipped as it was so ridiculously short.

HHH and Cena are getting ready.  The fans are clearly behind HHH here, openly booing Cena.  Ross says most of the fans are traditional as he’s clearly out of stuff to talk about.  Maybe a match ran short?  LOUD Cena Sucks chant.

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

This is a Playboy Pillow Fight and the reason they were stalling I guess.  Candice is introduced from the wrong city.  JR says the gate tonight is over $2 million dollars.  That’s insane to say the least, especially considering this isn’t a stadium and has less than 20,000 people.  Torrie’s music was recycled and is now used by Laycool.  She has a freaking dog with her.  Ross makes my head feel better by saying the next show is in Lexington.  That made me smile.

These two had both been in Playboy.  There’s a bed in the ring and pillows and all that jazz.  You win by pin or submission.  Do I need to explain what’s going on here?  They’ve in evening gowns, they don’t stay on long, Torrie wins and they’re in very little clothing.  We’re done.  This got nearly 4 minutes.  Yes, this got almost half as long as the world title match.  This couldn’t have been added to that match perhaps?  I guess not.

Rating: F. Long, dull, and a waste of my time.

We see some clips from the Wrestlemania press conference.  Cena and HHH cut basic promos about being champion post show.

No real backstory here.  Cena was champion and HHH won some worthless tournament.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH comes out looking like Conan’s mostly metrosexual brother. He’s wearing a fur pelt and a crown and a breastplate. He rises from a throne to play up the King of Kings bit. He looks absurd but at least after a few seconds we switch over to All About The Game which is a better song I think.

We then see…a newsreel about the Great Depression? Yes indeed, as we hear about the rise of Capone and organized crime in Chicago. The stage rises again as a 1930s era car comes out and fake gangsters armed with Tommy guns ride out. As a geek note, the one on camera side is clearly none other than CM Punk! Total mark out moment for me there as the gangsters surround the ring.

Even the fans are confused here. Cena’s music finally hits and he is booed out of the freaking building. He comes out in a black suit and fedora which would have been awesome had it not been for him wearing shorts and making the trench coat look like a bathrobe. He fires some blanks (honey it happens to a lot of guys I swear) and throws off the coat to reveal his t-shirt and the main event black shorts. We get the big match introductions which will never get old.

HHH is introduced as the Cerebral Assassin, the King of Kings, the Game, the 10 Time Champion.  Cena is introduced as the Dr. of Thuganomics.  They even get checked for weapons.  That’s not something you see anymore.  After a long staredown process they lock up and HHH grabs a headlock into a hammerlock.  Technical stuff to start here.

Back to the arm stuff as we’re in a feeling out process here.  The fans are all over Cena with a huge F YOU CENA chant.  Cena tries an FU early but HHH reverses and DRILLS Cena with a right hand to take him down.  Cena has to reset a bit as a HHH chant starts.  The Game throws him to the floor as they definitely haven’t gotten going full speed yet.

HHH plays to the crowd but Cena sneaks up on him and hammers away.  Back drop gets two.  Fisherman’s Suplex with a floatover gets two also and we hit the chinlock.  YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant starts up which is just hilarious at this point.  Cena throws him into the corner and HHH goes over the top and out to the floor.  Out onto the aisle and HHH wants a Piledriver but is backdropped onto the steel instead.

Cena’s main offense has been the right hand and I can’t blame him at all for that.  HHH fights back and chokes away.  Out to the floor for a bit and Cena’s shoulder goes into the steps.  Now why would HHH let the referee count?  It’s giving Cena a chance to breathe and he won’t win the title that way.  I guess you could argue it lets HHH rest.

Back in and HHH hits a suplex and Flair knee drop.  Facebuster gets a big pop and a clothesline puts Cena down for two.  HHH is covering after almost every move or two that he does which is a very nice thing for him to do.  It makes him seem like he wants to win every time which is the idea.  They slug it out but another neckbreaker takes Cena down for two.

Modified chinlock/neck vice goes on and Cena is in trouble.  Cena fights up but walks into a sleeper.  He hasn’t had a steady string of offense all match other than a brief one about 8 minutes ago.  John fights out and takes HHH’s head off with a clothesline and both guys are down for a bit.  Powerslam puts HHH down and Cena is in control.

Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle.  The shot of Cena looking at the crowd before he goes for it is great.  HHH gets up and catches him in a spinebuster for a long two.  Nice move there.  Right back to the sleeper but Cena reverses quickly into the Shuffle which hits this time.  He pumps the shoes and grabs the STFU out of nowhere.

In a nice show of strength though HHH crawls to the ropes and we’re not done yet.  FU is reversed and the referee is crushed in the corner.  HHH throws a low blow and hits both guys.  Crotch chop to Cena as we have more DX foreshadowing.  There’s the sledgehammer but Cena blocks it and hammers away (no pun intended) until a shot to the head takes him down.  THAT somehow gets two.

Pedigree is reversed and here comes Cena.  FU hits and gets two which results in an eruption from the crowd.  Dang good match here so far.  Cena has no idea what else to do as both of his finishers have more or less failed.  A splash of all things misses but the Pedigree is countered into another STFU and the referee checks the arm.  HHH keeps it up (Stephanie says yay!) but then after almost a minute in the hold HHH taps and Cena keeps the title.

Rating: A-. Great match here and definitely Mania main event worthy, but the problem comes down to this doesn’t feel epic.  It’s a great match but at the same time it looks like just another title defense for Cena.  This would have been a lot better if HHH had come in with the title and Cena had taken it here, but at the same time this worked fine.

Overall Rating: B. If there was a rating between B- and B this would get it.  The whole thing is good overall but there are some spots that make you shake your head.  For instance the Booker match, the pillow fight thing, the World Heavyweight Championship match, the MITB being so short etc.  It’s a good shot, but it’s nothing I’d want to see over and over.  It’s good for a rainy day but that’s about it.  Recommended but not incredibly highly.

 

Wrestlemania 21
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Lillian Garcia

This show is probably considered to be the birth of the modern era of Wrestlemanias. We have Cena and Batista going after their first world titles, the debut of MITB and Randy Orton in a big match. There are some solid matches in here including some that boarder on classics, such as Shawn vs. Angle and Rey vs. Eddie.

This was the first show in a long time without Austin or Rock wrestling and it was up to the new guys to carry the company with the help of the veterans. You don’t hear much at all about this Mania, but that’s not what’s important. All that matters is how good the show is. How good is it? Let’s get to it.

Lillian is her usual stunning self singing America the Beautiful.

Before the first match there’s a montage of the Mania trailers.  Since the show is in Hollywood this year that was the obvious theme: Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood.  This resulted in an awesome set of fake trailers/movie scenes recreated by WWE guys.  For instance there was Eugene as Forrest Gump, Undertaker as Dirty Harry, Cena and JBL as Tom Cruise and Jack Nicholson from A Few God Men and a montage of people trying to do “You Talking to Me?” from Taxi Driver.  This is set to Behind Those Eyes by 3 Doors Down, my favorite band, so this is great.

This leads to the debut of the final trailer which is debuting tonight: Steve Austin as Gladiator.  These are really well done and definitely worth checking out.  They’re like a minute or two long so they’re not too long to sit through or anything.  Check them out.

The announcers welcome us to the show complete with Lawler in a tuxedo.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re the reigning Smackdown tag champions at this point, but they’ve been having some issues.  This would be before the split and the ladder match for the custody of Rey’s son Dominic.  Yeah it was stupid back then too.  The idea here is that Eddie is doubting his skill and Rey keeps beating him in friendly matches.  Eddie’s pop absolutely dwarfs Rey’s.

The set looks great here as it looks like they’re coming out from behind a curtain like an old TV show.  They also cost each other victories on Smackdown so there are some recent issues also.  Crowd is VERY hot.  Eddie grabs an armbar and takes over early on.  They hit the precision stuff until Eddie launches Rey over the top and out to the floor.  Rey slides in and misses a 619 and we’re at a standoff.

Back in and they try a test of strength but Rey monkey flips Eddie over while holding the grip still.  Both bridge out at the same time in a cool visual.  Rey lands on his feet of something like a backdrop and another monkey flip lands Eddie in the ropes.  Rey gets sent to the floor and Eddie adds a plancha to take over.  Big Eddie chant starts up.

Suplex gets two for Eddie.  Surfboard goes on and I still wonder how they do that.  In something I’ve never seen other than in this match, Eddie almost gets pinned as his shoulders are on the mat while using the hold.  STF by Eddie and Rey slaps the mat once.  Shouldn’t that be a tap out?  They get up and Rey gets an armdrag to counter what might have been a powerbomb.

Eddie hits the floor so Rey busts out a tope con giro to half kill both guys.  Seated senton gets no cover but Rey runs into an elbow and it’s right back to Eddie’s control.  One Amigo hits but the second is countered into a rollup for two.  Another powerbomb attempt is countered into a headscissors but Rey can’t hit 619.  Backbreaker by Eddie gets two.

There are the Three Amigos as Rey’s back is being destroyed.  Frog Splash misses though and we’re back to even.  Rey keeps adjusting his mask.  Magistrol (and yes I know that’s likely the wrong spelling) gets two for Mysterio.  They speed things up for a bit and there’s the 619.  Rey tries West Coast Pop but Eddie FINALLY gets that powerbomb for two.  And then Rey gets a rana and grabs the leg for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. Fine opener here but they never hit that gear that I think they were shooting for.  Good match but out of these two you would expect more.  Rey and the mask adjustments took a bit of steam out of this as he was doing it every 8 seconds.  Eddie’s pops were very impressive so of course they turned him heel soon after this.

JBL and his Cabinet runs into HHH and Flair.  Good thing that never went anywhere.  Both say how great they are and HHH burns JBL by saying eventually someone will believe JBL if he keeps saying how great he is.  Orlando Jordan gets a WOO for his troubles.

Adam Sandler and that waste of skin known as Rob Schnider are in the front row.

Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane

 

This is the debut of Money in the Bank, meaning this is the one that sets the standard.  Jericho looks like a lumberjack with that beard.  Benoit is Benoit.  Christian is Pre-TNA so he has no chance here.  Shelton is more or less at the peak of his awesomeness here and IC Champion.  Edge is on the brink of greatness and Kane is Kane.  If nothing else now I have the Waterproof Blonde version of Just Close Your Eyes in my head now.  Oh and Christian has Tomko with him.
Edge is more or less freshly heel here but hasn’t established himself as a main event guy.  He’s kind of going back and forth.  In Kane’s entrance the ladders on the stage are lit on fire in a sweet visual.  Everyone goes after Kane in the aisle which completely fails.  Jericho blasts Christian with a ladder and it’s Shelton vs. Jericho in the ring at the moment.

The other two Canadians not named Christian get dropkicked off the apron by Jericho who adds a plancha to Edge.  Christian dives onto all three of them and then Shelton dives on all five of them.  Kane is like boy please and takes out everyone including Tomko with a big dive.  Kane, the only one alive, goes for a ladder.  Edge is in the ring and goes down as does Christian.

Jericho is able to dropkick the ladder into Kane and everyone is down for the most part.  He destroys various people with said ladder and stands tall at least for a few seconds.  Benoit grabs him while Jericho has the ladder and fires him with a German, sending the ladder flying through the air.  He goes up but Kane tries a chokeslam.  He gets caught in a Crossface for his troubles as does Edge.  Kane breaks that one up with a ladder shot for no apparent reason.

Using the ladder, Kane kind of Pillmanizes Benoit’s arm.  Edge takes Kane down as this is far too much at once to keep track of.  Edge and Christian work together to take Kane down as Shelton is back in.  Ladder in the corner with Edge slamming into it as he misses a spear.  Stinger Splash onto it and him in a rare Sting reference.

Everyone goes up onto three different ladders and everyone comes crashing down.  The T-Bone Exploder from Shelton to Edge was AWESOME looking.  Jericho somehow gets up and turns some ladders over.  He has to fight off Christian though and another ladder is set up as a ramp to the main one in the ring.  Shelton debuts his signature spot to run up the ladder and take Jericho down with a clothesline.

Christian stops Shelton and then Kane starts going on.  They botch a chokeslam over the top as Shelton gets his foot caught in the ropes.  Tomko comes in to try and help Christian, even getting him all the way to the top.  Kane is like screw that and shoves him off onto Tomko on the floor.  Jericho slips trying to stop Kane and they both fall onto the top rope to put everyone down again.

Benoit sets a ladder up in a corner to launch himself off in a swan dive to half kill Kane.  Ok poor choice of words there.  Great visual on the wide shot though.  He might have hurt his arm on that.  Kane gets back up and they fight on the top of the ladder with Kane going flying off again.  He’s taken a ton of bumps in this.  Edge pops up out of nowhere with a chair to drill Benoit in the bad arm and pulls down the briefcase to win it.

Rating: A. Some of the spots in this are just insane, such as Shelton running the ladder. A BIG plus of this match having 6 people is we don’t have to have a bunch of bad injury selling on the ladder while waiting on people to be stopped. That’s the flaw with most ladder matches: you see people climbing a ladder at the rate of a snail.

In this case, that’s not a threat as there’s a total of 7 people counting Tomko. This is a huge mess, but a fun one. It launched Edge into the main event as he cashed in the contact for the title in January in a stunning event. Great showing, not a great wrestling match, but still fun.

Eugene is in the ring and saying how excited he is to be here.  He talks about his favorite Mania moment, which is the midget army fighting Bundy at Mania 3.  Muhammad Hassan, the best heel in forever in the company’s music hits. He’s mad about being left off the card and he beats up Eugene.  That’s Sheik Abdul Bashir if you’re a TNA fan.

And then, in one of the biggest MARK OUT moments I’ve ever had, Real American hits.  The place, in a word, explodes.  Hogan slides in and the fans beat him down but Hogan is like people please and it’s a very old school double noggin knocker.  He beats the tar out of Hassan and tosses him out.  Daivari the manager tries a chair shot and gets a finger in his face.  There goes Daivari and the fans couldn’t eat this up any more if their lives depended on it.  Let the posing begin!  Hogan simply belongs at Wrestlemania.  This led to Hogan/Shawn vs. those two.

We recap Taker vs. Orton.  Not much to say here.  Orton got thrown out of Evolution and HHH cut his legs out from under him so they threw him against Taker to give him something to do and play into the Legend Killer thing.  Oh and Orton’s dad is in there somewhere too.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

This marks the modern incarnation of the Streak beginning as Orton challenges Taker for no reason other than to break the Streak. To me, that’s not good. It takes away some of the story as there’s nothing personal going on at first other than honor.

To some people it’s great and it leads to solid matches most of the time, but I just can’t get into them.  Orton was a face but challenged Taker so he RKOed Stacy, who was I guess his girlfriend at the time to show how evil he was. His Dad showed up and started helping him and no one cared. As the Legend Killer, this fit Orton like a glove.

Taker gets his usual sweet entrance with druids and torches.  Do you think they chant like that in the back at catering?  HUGE pop for Taker.  Taker floats to the ring with a ton of smoke in the aisle.  I mean he’s coming down the aisle and his feet aren’t moving.  Is there any reason he came out before Orton though?  This is the pre-orange Orton that still had hair and not a ton of tattoos.  Always liked this version a lot better.  No papa with him for the entrance.

Orton tries to use speed to start and then slaps Taker.  That seems like a bad idea to me.  We hit a headlock by Taker but a dropkick takes him down for one.  Feeling out period to start here.  Taker drills him with a right hand and Orton’s nose might be messed up.  Orton rolls him up out of the corner for two.  RKO is blocked and Orton is shoved to the floor.

Apron legdrop to Orton has him in big trouble.  Old School keeps him in said trouble.  The running boot in the corner misses and Taker is sent to the floor.  They slug it out and Orton takes him down with a clothesline for two.  DDT by Taker gets two as we haven’t really had one guy dominating for a long time yet.  Side slam for two.  Taker hits the Snake Eyes but the running boot is blocked by a back elbow for two as well.

They slug it out again as the fans are all over Randy.  Randy tries a clothesline but Taker rams into him so hard that Randy goes down for two.  Dragon suplex goes on and Orton taps but since that’s not the finish so we keep going.  Somehow he manages to roll through into a DDT for two.  And we hit the chinlock which is called a rear naked choke by Cole in an attempt to try to sound smart.

Sleeper by Orton lasts about two seconds as Taker gets a suplex.  Powerslam out of nowhere gets two for Randy.  Then like A REALLY STUPID PERSON he goes to the corner for punches and stops for posing.  The Last Ride doesn’t work but neither does the RKO.  Taker tries another Last Ride but Taker drops him or something.

Bob Orton runs in with the cast and drills Taker but the referee is down due to the RKO counter.  The very slow count gets two and a big reaction from the crowd.  Taker sits up and isn’t happy.  Big boots takes down Bob and here’s a chokeslam.  In one of my favorite counters ever, Orton shifts in mid air and grabs a good looking RKO for two.  Orton wants a tombstone and if you don’t know what’s coming at this point you just fail.  The pin is academic.

Rating: B-. Good match for the most part but there were times where they looked a bit confused.  Orton had that one great counter and other than that he didn’t get much out there.  This is a match that needed about two minutes cut out of it to really make it a lot better.  Still not that bad at all though.

We recap Trish vs. Christy Hemme.  In short, Trish is champion and Christy is this year’s Playboy chick.  She can’t wrestle to save her life but she has Lita training her.  There’s nothing else to it beyond that.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Well they’re all hot if nothing else.  Lita is with Christy here as mentioned.  Trish’s music sounds sped up a bit.  The set is awesome here as it’s set up like an old school movie theater marquee with the name of the current match on the sign.  Trish of course doesn’t take this seriously and it’s sloppy from the bell.  The Playboy thing was really annoying as you had girls that couldn’t do a thing challenging for the title.  Mickie next year would prove how stupid this was.

The fans chant for Matt who was out of the company at this point.  Trish misses a kick and Christy gets one of her own for two in a sexy cover.  Christy does the splits out of the corner and gets two on a sunset flip.  To the floor and Trish is barely breaking a sweat.  She shoves Lita who has a bad knee and Christy gets a rollup for two.

Christy kicks away badly and adds in a reverse Twist of Fate which is the whole selling point of the match.  Naturally it only gets two.  Christy rolls her up and we botch that too as Trish doesn’t kick out in time so the referee stops counting despite Trish’s shoulders being down.  Chick Kick ends this like a second later.  Trish would hold the title until the next Mania.

Rating: F+. They looked good and that’s all this had going for it.  This is one of those matches that doesn’t need much more of an explanation at all.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle.  Angle was obsessed with winning the Rumble but Shawn eliminated him.  This led to Angle talking about winning the medal in 96 but people talking about Shawn coming down from the rafters at Mania and being the best wrestler in the world.  Basically it turned into a game of I’m better than you and they had the match at Mania.  That’s about it.

Some celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Something tells me this will be a big better than the previous match.  They have about 28 minutes to work with here, so do you really think it’s not going to be great?  They stare each other down before the match starts and here we go.  This in interpromotional and the referee is from Smackdown for no apparent reason.  Shawn slaps him in the face and here we go.

Angle takes him to the mat and rides him with ease.  The fans apparently think Shawn violated Bret.  Odd choice of words indeed.  I say odd a lot in these reviews.  Shawn takes Kurt to the mat with a headlock and the fans chant for Angle.  Angle suplexes out of it but Shawn holds on somehow.  Dueling chants start up as that headlock has been on for awhile now.  They have the time though so it’s perfectly fine.

The hold is broken for a bit and we go right back to it again.  Angle gets a back elbow to escape but Shawn locks on a short arm scissors.  Angle rolls backwards a few times to get two.  See how important that is?  He keeps working the whole time and it keeps the fans into things rather than just sitting around.  We get the Davey Boy Smith counter to it but Shawn rolls through for two.  Backslide for two and it’s back to the headlock by Shawn.

They slug it out in the corner with neither guy being able to get the advantage.  Angle pulls the hair and grabs an ankle lock out of nowhere.  It doesn’t last long as Shawn rolls through and a clothesline puts us both on the floor.  They set up the announce table and fight for the move into it.  Angle gets the Slam but instead of the table he rams Shawn’s back into the post out of the Slam position.  That looked good.

Angle hammers away on the floor for a bit and we’re back into the ring.  Suplex gets two and Angle locks on a body scissors.  Shawn flips upside down in the corner and a sweet pair of belly to bellies gets two.  Kurt locks on a modified camel clutch with a knee in the back to work it over even more.  Shawn fights back and they slug it out until Shawn slaps Kurt.  A big clothesline takes Shawn down for two.  That looked great.

Angle can’t get a belly to belly off the top but the elbow misses too and Kurt never really loses control.  There go the straps but the Angle Slam is reversed.  Kurt is sent to the floor as Shawn takes over for a bit.  Big crossbody to the floor and both guys are down.  Shawn wants an Asai Moonsault but Angle jumps up for the attempted German off the apron which never hits.  A low blow gets Shawn out of it and he gets his Asai crossbody which winds up being a splash onto the table which doesn’t break.  Cool looking move and apparently the tables are reinforced.

They slug it out a bit more and Shawn gets the forearm.  I think you know what follows that.  Angle is bleeding from the mouth.  Slam sets up the elbow and it’s time to tune up the band.  What band is it anyway?  The Electric Light Orchestra?  Shawn finds out why it’s stupid to throw a kick at a guy whose finisher is the ankle lock and can’t roll through it.  The rope is finally grabbed and Shawn is in big trouble.

Angle is all ticked off now but the Slam is reversed into a sunset flip which is reversed into another ankle lock which is reversed into a victory roll for two.  Another attempt at Chin Music is reversed into the Slam for two.  Angle puts the straps back on only to take them right back down.  Ok then.  Moonsault misses but it looked like Angle’s head slammed into Shawn’s back.  Angle is clutching his wrist after the move and it might be hurt.

Shawn pulls himself to the top but can barely move so Angle runs up the corner and hits an Angle Slam from the top rope.  Angle immediately covers and somehow only gets two!  I’d have bet on that being the ending when I was watching this live.  Angle grabs Shawn by the head and screams at him to tap out.  Shawn uses all he’s got left for a huge Sweet Chin Music and down goes Angle again.  THAT gets two and the fans are way into this.

With Shawn trying to get up as slowly as he’s moving, Angle grabs the ankle again and holds on throughout every roll Shawn tries.  He almost gets the rope but Angle pulls him back to the middle again.  There’s the grapevine and after Shawn probably setting the record for the longest time ever in the move, Shawn taps to add another classic to his Mania record.

Rating: A+. Oh come on were you expecting anything else?  It’s Angle vs. Michaels at Wrestlemania with half an hour to work with.  Total show stealing match with two of the best ever out there working very hard out there to have the best match they could.  There would be a pair of rematches with Shawn winning at Vengeance and them tying in an iron man match on Raw.  Great match and absolutely worth seeing.

We see another of the movie trailers, this one with Benoit, Jericho and Christian interrogating Stacy Keibler ala Basic Instinct.  There’s implied HLA with Trish and lingerie pillow fights are mentioned.  Way funnier than it sounds.  Oh and Mae Young flashes her vagina to end it.

It’s RODDY PIPER!  We have a Piper’s Pit here at Mania with special guest Stone Cold Steve Austin.  Well this works….kind of.  It sounds like it’s great on paper but at the same time, what in the world would they talk about?  Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame and talks about Mania a bit.  Here’s Austin and the problem is obvious: there’s no reason Austin is here other than he’s Austin and it’s Wrestlemania.  Therefore, they have nothing to talk about.

Austin is a rebel apparently.  Yeah not for about 5 years Roddy.  Piper slaps him and the fans aren’t sure what to do here.  Austin of course slaps him right back and Piper likes him.  The WHAT chants start up and Piper isn’t sure how to take them.  I hate those things anyway.  Piper was here when Mania didn’t have a number apparently and that’s still the same argument he’s been using for years.  Austin has nothing on Piper as far as being a rebel.

Steve replies and this is just dragging.  Piper stopped meaning anything about 12 years before this and only Piper seemed to not get that through his head.  Of all people, Carlito comes out and both guys say it wasn’t their idea.  This was supposed to be the way to put Carlito over and give him a huge push but it completely failed due to Carlito absolutely sucking.  Piper isn’t cool with this and spits the apple at Carlito.  Naturally there are Stunners all around and Austin stands tall.  This was awful to say the least.  Total and complete waste of 15 minutes.

We see the Taxi Driver trailer which was voted the best overall.  Basically it’s the majority of the roster trying to do the “Are you talking to me” line which is rather funny indeed.  Batista doesn’t get what he’s supposed to say and Big Show keeps ripping his jacket.  Michael Cole as Travis Bickle has completely scarred me for life but overall it’s funny.
Ready for the biggest waste of time in company history? Here is it right here.

Big Show vs. Akebono

Who in the world is Akebono? No one knew and no one cared. Show at the time was doing a weird thing where he was looking for a challenger so they found someone even bigger than Show to face him in a sumo match. They’re wearing the full sumo uniforms here and it’s really bad. No one could care less for this.

They stall forever as Cole and Tazz try desperately to make this work but it’s dead on arrival. The fans boo them crazily as they set to start and then pull up at least 3 times. It’s the two of them slapping each other’s chests. Show loses but of course his music plays as they leave.  This lasted a minute or so bell to bell and almost ten minutes overall.

Rating: F. This was a total waste of time.

We recap the Smackdown World Title feud between Cena vs. JBL.  JBL has held the title since the previous summer and people are sick of him.  The idea of this is old school vs. new and the respect for tradition vs. change.  Cena had made a spinner belt for the US Title which JBL wasn’t happy with.  Cena is the rapper here still and here’s all street tough etc.  He got the match by beating Angle at No Way Out.  Cena couldn’t touch JBL but JBL managed to get some shots in to Cena on the last Smackdown.
Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

 

JBL gets a police escort here to give him his big Mania entrance.  JBL dollars rain from the ceiling in a cool bit.  The Cabinet, JBL’s team, isn’t here. No special entrance for Cena here.  A couple of guys with brooms have to clean the dollars out of the ring.  Feeling out process to start with Cena taking JBL down with a shoulder.  JBL does the same and takes over with power.

After more strikes from JBL a bad neckbreaker takes Cena down for no cover.  The second one gets two as I don’t think they’ll end a match in two minutes.  Well at least in theory they won’t.  JBL hits a slingshot to put Cena’s throat in the bottom rope.  They slug it out a bit with Cena getting some momentum together.  Spinebuster takes care of that though and it’s back to JBL in control.

A third neckbeaker gets two.  Short arm clothesline gets two.  This is kind of dragging here.  JBL hits a forearm to the back of Cena as it’s total dominance and has been the whole time.  We got a moderate boring chant as we hit a sleeper.  Cena gets a suplex to escape and it’s a double clothesline.  Never mind though as JBL sends him to the floor and adds neckbreaker #4 to take Cena down again.  This is on the verge of a squash.

Superplex back in the ring puts Cena down again and of course it’s for two.  Cena gets a powerslam to fight back for the first time.  Some clotheslines buy Cena time as does a shoulder block.  Crowd is DEAD.  Protoplex sets up the Five Knuckle Shuffle and the FU just like that gives Cena the title.  In an approximately eleven and a half minute match, Cena was on offense for maybe 90 seconds.

Rating: D. Really?  This was like a TV match that would main event Smackdown and it’s good for Cena’s first world title here?  This needed to be rebooked and given about five more minutes plus about 8 more two counts.  I have no idea what they were going for here but this was a major failure on almost all levels.  No wonder Cena was panned for his first title reign.

 

We recap the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night which definitely centered around Hulk Hogan.  Oh and Piper and some other people went in too.  And then that ring would go to Abyss.  I give up.  Gene brings out the class to be presented to the crowd, eating up some more time that could have gone to Cena and JBL.  If nothing else it’s fun to see the Divas all dressed up.

Michelle with her hair back and in a long black dress is something I could get used to.  Taz calls Sheik the original Human Suplex Machine.  Miss Jackie (Gayda that is) was so hot it’s scary.  Maria as a blonde looked great.  She’s more interesting than Bob Orton for sure.  Jimmy Hart is still awesome.  Stacy dancing to Hulk’s music and being on his arm is weird to see.  That being said her trying to look beautiful in another long black dress works very well indeed.  That’s about it.  Most international class ever?

 

Mania 22 is going to be in Chicago.

We recap Batista vs. HHH.  The idea here is a simple one.  They were both in Evolution and then Batista got very hot and won the Rumble.  This led to HHH saying he would get Batista to fight JBL to avoid having to face Big Dave because he had Batista around his finger.  Batista heard this and turned face (which he more or less already was) leading to this.

Raw World Title: Batista vs. HHH

Ross and Lawler talk forever to let Motorhead get ready to play HHH to the ring.  The singer more or less has no idea what the words are.  HHH rises out of the floor like Angle does now.  This is all happening before Batista’s entrance, making his look totally weak in comparison.  Nice job Game.  Batista still has his old school Evolution knockoff music here and no pyro so his machinegun thing looks idiotic.

Flair is with HHH here.  We get the weapons check and the title being held up which is always cool.  They fight over a tie up to start with neither guy being able to get much of an advantage.  Almost two minutes in HHH grabs a headlock for the first offense of the match.  He runs into a shoulder though and we chill for a bit.  HHH runs him over but can’t get the Pedigree.  Gorilla Press puts HHH down and Batista poses a bit.

Batista looks nervous here which makes sense.  They’re going very slowly here but I guess they have the time.  Backdrop to HHH but the Game gets a running knee to put him on the floor.  Flair distracts Big Dave long enough to send Batista into the steps to take over again.  HHH and Flair both choke away as we’re bordering on going through the motions here.

HHH works on the back and adds a suplex for two.  More choking by Flair as this has been total dominance ala Cena vs. JBL.  HHH hammers him down in the corner but Batista gets some punches to take back over a bit.  And never mind as HHH uses a spinebuster.  You know, that move that NO ONE ELSE IN THIS MATCH USES RIGHT???  Why in the world would HHH, the guy with like 9000 moves in his arsenal, use a freaking spinebuster that is going to make Batista’s look stupid by comparison?  Freaking moron.

Pedigree is blocked and the facebuster gets two.  For no apparent reason HHH goes up top and tries a punch from up there but gets caught by a clothesline.  Who is his mentor again?  Did he sleep through that day in heel school?  Batista gets a spinebuster for two but HHH gets a boot up in the corner to take him right back down.

Batista fires him over the top rope with pure power and we might finally have a shift in momentum.  He follows the Game to the floor and is sent into the steps to once again give HHH momentum.  Pedigree onto the steps is blocked into a slingshot into the post.  Maybe NOW Batista can get some serious offense in.  HHH is busted now.  Batista hammers at the cut and momentum has completely shifted here.

All Animal here with Batista managing to hit a clothesline in the corner that puts HHH on his back which isn’t something you often see.  Powerslam gets two.  Out to the floor again as HHH is just trying to cover up.  Down goes Flair but HHH grabs a chair due to the distraction.  Since it’s a main event though, down goes the referee as he tries to steal it from the Game.

Back in the ring it’s a spinebuster for Flair who brings the belt in.  Title to the face which draws huge heat.  If that had gotten the pin they may have needed police to get him out of there.  Naturally it only gets two and more or less that’s it.  Spinebuster doesn’t hit as HHH gets a low blow.  Pedigree can’t hit and Batista gets something resembling an Emerald Flosion to set up the Thumbs Down and the Batista Bomb ends this finally.

Rating: C-. HHH ruined this for me. Number one, Batista should come out first, get his massive pop, and THEN you have the big entrance for HHH as something like that is going to get a big pop no matter what. Next, Batista was built up as a monster coming into this match for nearly 5 months, and HHH beats the tar out of him for over half the match.

That makes me think that Batista hasn’t beaten anyone at all and once he faces someone solid he can’t do anything against them. Let Batista come in and beat up HHH, have HHH, the smarter wrestler, learn from what happened the first time around and counter Batista and THEN he beats him up and leads to the finish.

By doing this, it shows two things: it makes Batista seem legit as even HHH can’t stop his offense and then it makes HHH look smart as he was able to adapt his style to stop Batista, and everyone wins. Third, WHY WOULD HHH USE A SPINEBUSTER HERE???

He has like 40 moves in his arsenal and he uses the one that Batista is most known for. The ending was solid but that’s about it. Not the way to start a title reign for a guy that wrestles as a power guy at all. If this were Benoit or someone of that size and style, this would have been perfect.

Overall Rating: C+. This Mania suffers from the same symptom that every show since the brand split has suffered from: WAY too much filler that should have been on Raw or Smackdown.  It’s a good show but at the same time the main events were just weak overall with neither new champion looking great at all.  The right guys went over which helps a lot, but getting there didn’t work that well.  Still a good show though.

Oh and see those trailers as they’re totally awesome.

Wrestlemania 20
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
Star Spangled Banner: Harlem Boys Choir

This just feels right. Wrestlemania is supposed to be at MSG. This show is considered to be the show where the new generation took control as Cena debuted, Eddie was defending a title, and Benoit challenged for a title. Sadly, two of them are gone now so those plans have been completely derailed.

This show is the first of the modern HOF induction shows as well as having the first smaller arena show in four years. I’m split on that actually. The smaller shows are better in the sense that it’s more personalized and there simply isn’t a place better than MSG, but the stadiums show off the spectacle more. Really depends on what you like. Anyway, let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sings America the Beautiful and we go into the opening video. This is definitely the biggest show of all time with major matches and us at Madison Square Garden. The main event is Benoit vs. Shawn vs. HHH which has the problem of Shawn. There is zero point to having him in there but he’s there so that HHH doesn’t have to job to Benoit clean. Whatever I guess.

To end the video we see Vince, Shane and Vince’s grandson, which I believe is the first time Vince’s grandchildren have appeared on WWE programming.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is the rapper at this point and hasn’t really gotten established at all at this point. He had been around a little under two years at this point and had turned mega face. You could see that he had what it took back then but he was being paced along very well. Show is champion coming into this. He was more or less worthless (yeah a stretch I know) as champion here so the ending wasn’t really in doubt.

John does his represent thing before the match starts. Dang you could see the star just trying to break out in him. He does a quick rap about Show and says Show is a gorilla. Cena’s hand is taped up so maybe he’s hurt or something. This isn’t really funny or anything but it gets the crowd going which is the point. Granted it’s a New York crowd so it’s not like it takes much work overall.

The title literally looks like a toy on Show’s shoulder. This is serious Show who has been motivated/focused lately which means he’ll lose a big match soon. Cena tries to get around the power to start which doesn’t really work at all. He gets sent to the floor and needs to rethink his strategy. Show allegedly retired Hogan in this building. Which retirement was that?

A cross body off the top by Cena of course fails as it always has against Show. Cena gets the powerslam that he deserves for being an idiot like that. He hammers away which gets him nowhere other than clotheslined down with ease. They have the picture of the current match on the opposite side from the cameras which is a cool thing to see.

Show suplexes Cena and he goes flying which makes John look like a toy. I know you hear that a lot but it’s true here. Headbutt puts Cena down and Show stands on his back. Cena hammers away but gets kicked in the face to end that. Show adds that standing legdrop that I think is called the Showstopper depending on who you listen to for two. The fans chant for Cena.

Cena tries a sleeper which is broken up rather quickly. This has more or less been all Show. Cobra Clutch by Show and Cena is in trouble. Naturally he just lets it go to put it right back on. Cena fights back with right hands and takes the knee out to send Show’s face into the buckle. FU gets two and Cena isn’t sure what to do now. Cena grabs the chain he brought with him but throws it down to distract the referee. The knuckles he carried with him also winds up going upside Show’s head and Cena has his first title.

Rating: C-. Basic big man vs. little man match here but at the same time, not much going on with it at all. Show dominated and Cena hit like three moves to take over and win the thing. That being said, the fans were into Cena which is the whole point. Not bad but kind of generic overall.

Coach is in the back and runs into some random people that aren’t important before saying hi to Teddy Long. He goes into Bischoff’s office to find he and Johnny Spade. Spade had just gotten a name change from Johnny Blaze. A few weeks later he was Johnny Nitro, and a few years later he was John Morrison. Didn’t realize he’d been there that long. Coach is told to go find the Undertaker, who was redebuting for the 58th time tonight.

Evolution minus HHH is in the back and Orton says he’s going to become a hardcore legend. As a former OVW Hardcore Champion, he’s well on his way. He never did that, but he got close a month later at Backlash. If you haven’t seen that match, go do so immediately. Well worth the 15 minutes it takes up. Anyway we see a clip of Orton hurting Foley back in June as this was almost a year long storyline. Oh and he’s IC Champion. The idea is that Foley is scared of Orton but has a backbone now. Oh and Rock is with him for a handicap match. That always helps.

Raw Tag Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. La Resistance vs. Dudley Boys

Wow. You can see the division dying as we speak. The Dudleyz would more or less be gone in four months, save for the One Night Stand main event. We then have the one decent tag team on the brand at the time, and then two generic guys packaged as a “team”. RVD and Booker are your odd combination tag team. This is one fall to a finish. The remix of RVD and Booker’s songs was really quite bad.

Dupree vs. Van Dam to start us off here. Booker comes in quickly and gets a superkick to Renee for two. Bubba is tagged in. Why would you tag out here if it’s one fall to a finish? The Dudleys are faces for this week. The fans already want tables. At least they’re patient as they waited a full minute before starting that chant here.

Ross thinks Booker is a young man. That’s rather amusing. Bubba tries to do the suck on this deal and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. This is more or less RVD/Booker vs. the Dudleys with two other teams in the background. Jindrak gets two on Booker. It’s Garrison Cade at this point too. Who thought that would be a good name? I mean dude, Garrison Cade? Really?

Dupree comes in and La Resistance takes over for a bit. It’s Dupree/Conway in this form of La Resistance as that team changed every few months. No real reason given for why these teams are in here but does it really matter? The fans chant for USA while Conway, the American, is in there. Conway gets an elbow for two, which JR says was opportunistic. How? Isn’t that like doing his job?

Conway uses a bow and arrow hold for awhile to kill some time. Spinebuster gets Booker out of trouble. Wow Van Dam was in a good amount of worthless tag teams. RVD comes in and cleans house. The Five Star is blocked as D-Von shoves him off the top. Everything breaks down and it’s Booker (illegal) vs. D-Von (also illegal). 3D is broken up by Cade and then an axe kick sets up the Five Star on Conway for the champions to retain.

Rating: D. Totally boring match here that should have been on Raw. The division if you want to call it that was completely dead by this point and nothing was going to save it. The titles needed to be unified back then but wouldn’t be until 2010. Weak match that had no need to be on Mania in the slightest.

In the basement, the Coach hears noises coming from behind a door and opens it to find Gene Okerlund trying to get dressed. He tries to explain why he’s there and Bobby Heenan stumbles out half dressed as well. Coach says it’s not what you think. There was a poker game according to Heenan. Moolah and Mae pop out and drag the guys back in where frightening sounds are heard. One of my all time favorite segments.

We recap Christian vs. Jericho which was a great storyline. This started with Jericho and Christian betting a Canadian Dollar that Jericho could sleep with Trish before Christian could sleep with Lita. Trish found out about the bet and got all ticked off. Jericho fell for Trish and Christian tried to get his head back on straight. This led to Christian vs. Trish with Christian hurting Trish. Tonight is the grudge match. This was a great buildup and the video has me wanting to see the match years later. That’s a really good sign.

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

 

I guess Lita was just dropped from this after awhile for reasons unknown. They lock up for a bit and then Jericho is like screw it and takes Christian down with right hands. Clothesline takes him down again. Christian sends him to the apron but gets backdropped to the floor. All Jericho in the opening few minutes and we get a big Y2J chant.

Jericho hits that springboard cross body to the floor and then sends Christian into the barricade. Back in and Christian’s sunset flip attempt is countered into the Walls. They’re not applied though and Christian is able to get a thumb to the eye and then dump Jericho to the floor. Christian chokes away and talks trash to Jericho at the same time. He’s multi-tasking I guess.

Knee to the ribs by Christian as the fans are surprisingly quiet here. They don’t seem bored though and are instantly back into it when Christian hits a chinlock. I guess they’re interested here. Christian pulls some of Jericho’s hair out which gets him two. Ah the old hair attack. Haven’t seen that in years. Back to the chinlock but Jericho tries for the Walls again and again they don’t work.

Christian chokes away but Jericho fights back. Off to a neck crank for a second but Jericho is taken down by the hair as he tries to escape. Hey here’s another chinlock. Walls are attempted again and again fails. Spinwheel kick gets two on Jericho. Jericho gets a forearm and a knee to the back as he’s starting a comeback. Running enziguri gets two.

Rollup by both guys gets two and Christian’s had a handful of ropes. Northern Lights Suplex by Jericho gets two. Lionsault attempt winds up eating knees but the Unprettier can’t hit either. Reverse tornado DDT out of the corner gets two for Christian. They’re moving a lot more out there now. Backbreaker by Christian and he goes up. Jericho is slammed off and Christian hits a cross body which is rolled through for two by Jericho.

Christian throws on a Texas Cloverleaf and Jericho is in trouble. This is the first time they’ve had a bit of a break in a good while. Jericho breaks that and tries the Walls for the fourth time which doesn’t work either. He finally gets them on the fifth try but on the floor. As Christian tries to get back in he gets caught in a double underhook suplex off the top for two.

And here comes Trish. I’m pretty sure you know how this is going to end but she looks great in a tied off shirt so I can’t complain. Edgecution by Christian gets a long two. Christian drags Trish in and shoves her down. Trish “accidentally” nails Jericho and Christian gets a rollup and the win with it.

Rating: B. Decent match but it could have been a lot more. This was a match where the buildup was better than the match. The feud would continue for a good while though and it continued to be rather solid. Fun stuff here and pure popcorn soap opera stuff which is usually a good combination.

Post match Trish slaps Jericho, turning heel and leaves with Christian. The crowd is TICKED. Trish and Christian kiss to a big reaction as they leave.

Now we get to one of the more entertaining part of the show. Foley is talking about being nervous about having his first match in four years but Rock pops up and cuts him off. He talks about how there’s no reason to be nervous because everyone knows what’s coming. Hurricane and Rosey know it. Don Muraco and Jimmy Snuka know it.

But most importantly the people know it. Make sure you get a shot of the people. Rock says let’s go take care of Evolution, if you smell what the Rock (Foley: and Sock) IS COOKING! Funny promo.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Now this has an interesting backstory to it. Back in December, Orton was on his Legend Killer gimmick and called out Foley. Foley got ready to fight him but at the last minute bailed out, allowing Orton to spit on him and walk out of the arena, branding him as a coward. At the Royal Rumble, Orton had made a long run but Foley entered at #21 and beat the crap out of Orton.

The problem with this was that when you go after Orton, you get all of Evolution. Except HHH who had more important things to do than fight two first ballot Hall of Famers. This made it 3-1, so Foley needed help. Rock returns to help his friend, and we get this as the end result. If you ever want to see the match that almost single handedly got Batista and Orton over, this is it. It was them being in there with the big boys and we could see what they can do.

I love the old school vs. new school dynamic here. The Rock N Sock Connection hit the ring and the fight is on. Rock vs. Batista is really weird to see. How weird is it that Rock retired younger than Foley? Rock vs. Flair is something that is just awesome to look at and it officially starts us off here. Rock does Flair’s strut and they lock up.

Out to the floor and Flair slips a thumb into the eye. That gets him nowhere as he gets slammed on the floor and Foley adds an elbow off the apron. Off to Orton now and Foley wants in. Orton bails but Foley somehow catches him and the beating is on. Back in with Foley in control. Rock comes in and punches Orton in the balls and then Flair smacks him in the back of the head.

Rock fights off Evolution but gets caught by Batista on the floor with the power game. Off to Orton vs. Rock in the ring now with Orton hammering away. Make that Batista. He’s not as big as he would get but still gets two off an elbow drop. Flair comes in now and throws chops in the corner. He tries to strut and gets his head taken off by a running clothesline. Well why mess with the basics?

Like an idiot, Flair goes up and gets slammed down. Why is anyone surprised at that? Off to Batista who hammers away. The crowd being all attentive is weird. Rock gets a clothesline to Batista and it’s off to Foley now. Double arm DDT is blocked and it’s a slug out. Running knee in the corner is stopped by a clothesline though. That’s a popular move in this match isn’t it?

On the floor Foley grabs the Claw on Orton out of nowhere. This is a good match so it’s hard to make jokes here. For the 1000^th time in his career Foley’s knees slam into the steps with a LOUD bang. Orton in now who hammers away even more. Make that Flair who chops Foley down and then they slug it out. Foley takes him down but Orton comes in for a chinlock/face pull to stop Foley.

Batista comes in as Evolution keeps up that fast tagging. He starts the ground and pound on Foley but Mick slips a hand up and grabs the Claw to break it up. Orton comes in for the save and they keep tagging in and out very quickly. Swinging neckbreaker to Batista buys Foley some time and a double clothesline buys him even more time.

Flair comes in to break up the tag but a shot to the head is enough to bring in Rock who cleans house. DDTs and right hands all around but a Batista spinebuster takes him down. And now Flair wants to do the People’s Elbow. Rock nips up while Flair struts and drills him. There’s a spinebuster for Flair and it’s the REAL People’s Elbow, complete with Rock’s 8^th strut of the match.

RKO doesn’t work but the Rock Bottom does. Flair makes a last second save and then SPRINTS around the ring to grab a chair. Batista Bomb to Rock which gets two for Orton. Rock manages to bring in Foley and he finally gets his hands on Orton. Foley loads up Socko but takes too long and Orton grabs a quick RKO for the pin. Foley sits up afterwards which I like as it makes it look like Foley got stunned but not knocked out. And that my friends, is how you put people over.

Rating: A. This wasn’t so much a great match but rather a work of art out there. They knew what they were doing and the two old masters made stars out of young guys. This is what you’re supposed to do out there as the old guys look great as well and like I said, it was a quick win rather than a dominating one. The key thing there though was that it was a win. Great stuff and worth seeing for what it means to put someone over.

Rock and Foley get a standing ovation as they deserve.

This year’s HOF class is honored. No big name here except Jesse Ventura. Next year it really picks up though. Heenan breaking up over wishing Monsoon was there with him is a very touching moment. Harley Race and Tito Santana go in too. teases running for President in 2008.

They bring them out into the arena to have Mean Gene do the presentations to the crowd. The full list is Bobby Heenan (can barely talk due to throat cancer. The fans chant weasel and Heenan’s reaction is of course hilarious), Tito Santana (one of the most underrated guys ever despite being considered great), Big John Studd (dead, his son is here), Harley Race (one of the best heels ever), Pete Rose (deserves to be in due to what he did at Mania. He was said to be incredibly gracious about being in so I can live with this).

Back to the wrestlers with Don Muraco (took the Snuka Splash that apparently every wrestler ever was inspired by), Great Valentine (gets one of the biggest pops surprisingly enough. Looks JUST like he did in the ring and still does to this day as far as I know), Junkyard Dog (Also dead, his daughter is here for him. It was her high school graduation that he died on the way home from), Billy Graham (perhaps the most influential heel of all time), Sgt. Slaughter (go watch the Alley Fight with Pat Patterson. Incredible fight), and Jesse Ventura (do I need to explain this one?

What’s the best way to follow that up? With this of course:

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Instead of the traditional rules, this is pinfall. Blast it. This is happening because Torrie/Sable are in Playboy. Sable was doing a weird lesbian kind of thing at the time with Torrie, which is odd because Torrie had just come off a lesbian angle with Dawn, which ended apparently in her sleeping with Dawn.

Sable requests they all start in their underwear. Taz and Cole are cracking up over a joke Taz makes. It actually was funny and tells me these guys are funny in real life. I’m trying not to pay attention here as this is depressing. Torrie and Sable win.

Rating: F. I hate these things. They’re a total waste of time, we’ve seen the girls like this before, and it’s nothing special at all. Total waste of about 9 minutes.

We get some clips from Axxess.

Eddie comes in to talk to Benoit who is very nervous to say the least. He says that win or lose, he’ll be proud of Chris. Benoit says he won’t lose. Eddie says no one really expects Benoit to win, more or less sealing his title win. Benoit says he’s proud of Eddie for winning the WWE Title and Eddie starts laughing. He wants Benoit to get fired up and Benoit is. Tonight they both walk out world champions.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

This is a ten man gauntlet match. Think Tag Team Turmoil with the champion, Chavo Jr., going tenth. Everyone stands at ringside so I’ll just list them off as they go in. Rey comes out last and is the Flash this year. Ultimo Dragon vs. Shannon Moore to start and they’re moving out there, getting three two counts in maybe 40 seconds. Back suplex by Shannon gets two. Whisper in the Wind by Moore misses and Dragon hits the Asai DDT (sets for a Stunner but backflips over Shannon to slam the back of his head into the mat. Looks great) for the pin. I hope this isn’t a pattern.

Jamie Noble is in third and he jumps Dragon to take an early advantage. Dragon unleashes the kicks but misses a moonsault. A neckbreaker by Noble sets up a guillotine choke by Noble to get rid of Dragon.

Funaki comes in and is rolled up and pinned in 4 seconds. I hate these kind of matches for stupid stuff like these last two eliminations. This would never happen in a regular match and makes Funaki and Dragon look like blundering morons.

Nunzio comes in next and begs off instead of charging, which I think is logical here. They trade some holds and Nunzio gets a victory roll for two. Big kick gets two for Nunzio. He tries an O’Connor Roll but Noble ducks to send him to the floor. Noble dives on him with a front flip to put both guys down and Nunzio is counted out.

Billy Kidman is in now and Nunzio trips Noble. Kidman climbs the ropes and throws a Shooting Star Press but underrotates and lands ON TOP OF HIS HEAD! That gets two in the ring and Noble grabs that guillotine again. It’s easily reversed and Kidman adds a running enziguri. He tries the Shooting Star again but Noble runs up to block it. Short powerbomb off the middle ropes gets rid of Noble though as that might have been the longest fall at just under two minutes.

Rey comes in and gets half killed by a dropkick. He gets whipped in and baseball slides between Kidman’s legs while on his back. Kind of awesome. Kidman takes over after some interference from Tajiri’s friend Akio for no apparent reason. They go to the corner and Mysterio gets a sunset bomb to end Kidman.

Tajiri in next and he grabs the Tarantula very quickly. Handspring elbow is blocked by a dropkick and there’s the 619. Akio interferes again and winds up taking the mist to the face. Rey grabs a rollup to end Tajiri.

Akio can’t fight because of the mist. Whatever.

Tajiri kicks Rey in the head and it’s down to Chavo and Mysterio. Rey avoids a charge and gets a rana to take over. Down goes Chavo Senior via a baseball slide. The referee won’t let Rey dive on him though. Dang it give us our injured senior citizens! Ok he’s in his mid 50s here but he looks about 80. Rey is like screw it and dives over the referee to crush Chavo Senior. He tries a sunset flip but Chavo grabs the hand of his son to get the pin to retain. So Chavo pinned Rey in about 1:50? Got it.

Rating: D+. That’s overall. The problem here is simple: they went through it WAY too fast and it was impossible to get into any of the matches. These things need like 30 minutes to work which is why you never see them. This would have been WAY better as a fatal fourway but since both tag titles are in that format we had this. Not a fan of these at all because they make the guys in them look far too beatable.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock. Goldberg was #30 in the Rumble and was being interviewed prior to the match. Lesnar got annoyed that he wasn’t being interviewed since he was WWE Champion at the time. He came in and beat up Goldberg in the Rumble so that Angle could eliminate him after Goldberg was dominating. Austin gave Goldberg a ticket to No Way Out and said don’t do anything he wouldn’t do. Goldberg speared Brock and Eddie won the title because of it (great match if you’ve never seen it).

Austin was named guest referee and then Lesnar popped up and gave Austin an F5. This basically turned into Austin vs. Lesnar instead with Goldberg being on the side. Lesnar stole Austin’s four wheeler and ticking Austin off. Austin beat Lesnar up and took it back, which totally took the spotlight off of Goldberg to eventually set up Brock vs. Austin.

However, this was Lesnar’s last WWE match s he went to the NFL and then the UFC, which made Austin more or less pointless here. Oh and it’s Goldberg’s last match too. Think they’re going to give it that old college try and work as hard as they can? If so, you’re not that smart.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Let the chanting begin! The shorts on Goldberg never looked right. They stand around for about 20 seconds and we get to the far more interesting part of this match: the crowd. Almost immediately we get a YOU SOLD OUT chant directed at Lesnar. It’s one of the loudest you’ll ever hear outside of Philly and it shakes the guys up it seems. The announcers actually acknowledge it which is saying a lot.

Make that a minute of standing around. There’s the Goodbye Song as they’ve literally stood there staring at each other for a minute and a half. Ross tells us Lesnar is gone and they shout F Bombs at each other. Two minutes with zero contact at all. Now the fans chant for Austin, likely wanting him to Stun them both and just end it at that. Two and a half minutes now. This is all considered part of the match mind you.

At 2:45 they lock up. Amusingly enough Goldberg is called a mixed martial arts aficionado. They go down to their knees in a lockup. That eats up literally 45 seconds and it’s back to staring at each other. We’re four minutes into a thirteen and a half minute match and the total amount of contact is 45 seconds, literally all of which is on a lockup. Think about paying a ticket to see this, one of the feature matches, and getting this. They deserve the crowd reaction they’re getting.

They lock up again and that eats up almost 30 more seconds. The crowd chants THIS MATCH SUCKS and they’re right. The first offensive move of the match comes five minutes in (and yes I’m counting via a counter on the video) with a headlock by Lesnar that goes nowhere. They exchange shoulder blocks and then knock each other down with them. We’re 6:30 into this now and the move list in its entirety is: tie up, tie up, head lock, Goldberg shoulder block, Lesnar shoulder block, double shoulder block.

FINALLY things pick up a bit as Lesnar kicks away. Goldberg is like screw that and press slams him, bringing him down with a half spear/half spinebuster. The regular spear misses though and Goldberg goes chest first into the post. We hit the floor for some Lesnar dominance. I guess that was all the offense Goldberg had in him. The fans aren’t that impressed and tell Goldberg that he sucks.

Back in now and Lesnar really upgrades his offense with a suplex. Into a headlock with an arm trap. This is terrible. This eats up about a minute until Goldberg flips him to ZERO pop. Oh hey let’s go right back to the hold again because it worked so well the first time. Then they ram into each other again and are both down. The fans aren’t exactly happy.

Ross calls the match pedestrian. No Ross, taking a walk would be way more interesting than this. The fans boo the heck out of it as Goldberg makes his comeback. The crowd is chanting for Hogan. In 2004. Wow. Spinning neckbreaker sets up the spear for two. Yeah back then they wanted to drop the Jackhammer because the company was really stupid. F5 hits out of nowhere for two as well. Lesnar misses the spear and then the spear and Jackhammer ends it to make Goldberg 1-0!

Rating: F. This was a disgrace. I don’t care if you’re leaving or not, you don’t do it that way. No excuse for this whatsoever.

Austin, who did NOTHING in the match, stuns both guys post match to try and keep the fans from storming the ring to kill the guys in the match.

WM 21 is in LA.

Vince comes out and says there’s someone that should be thanked for Mania making it to #20. He then amazes even me, perhaps the most jaded wrestling fan there is and he thanks the fans. This amazed me to no end when I saw it and it still does today. Love him or hate him, this was pure class right here.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. APA vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers

More filler here before we get to the real main events. This is one fall to a finish again. The APA was more or less worthless by this point. I didn’t even know they were still together in 04. Bradshaw would be world champion in the summer. Rikishi and Scotty have the titles coming in here. Bradshaw vs. Benjamin to start us off here.

After JBL takes Shelton down for awhile, Doug Basham tags himself in and I just do not care at this point. Absolutely nothing of note is going on here. Haas vs. Scotty at the moment. Crowd simply does not care either and it’s obvious. Bearhug to Scotty but a Basham comes in for the…save? Scotty is the face in peril I guess. He gets an enziguri but kicks Doug into Danny to keep Scotty from making the tag again.

Off to Rikishi who cleans house. I think he was supposed to be the grizzled veteran that could beat up just about anyone in the match. They pushed him like that for awhile and it didn’t work incredibly well. German attempt by Benjamin but the power of fat sends him to the floor. Haas gets a Stinkface for not funny comedy. Bradshaw comes in to clean house but walks into a Samoan Drop and then Rikishi drops down onto Danny to retain.
Rating: D. Pointless filler. These teams were worthless by this point anyway as they were all on the verge of breaking up. Shelton was in the IC title hunt within a year, JBL debuted that Summer, the Bashams were fired soon thereafter and no one ever cared about Rikishi and Scotty anyway. Total waste of time.

Edge is coming back.

Jesse Ventura is with Donald Trump at ringside. This was when the Apprentice was still a hot show so Trump was a celebrity here. I don’t like him but you have to admit, the guy apparently likes wrestling as this was the 4th show he was a part of. Jesse implies he’ll run for President someday, getting a big pop.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

This is belt vs. hair with Victoria as champion. Victoria got hotter every time I saw her. The crowd is already more into this than they were for the entire previous match. Molly works the arm to control but gets rolled up for two. Suplex gets two for Molly. Molly is a virgin and wears big underwear which is the focal point of the match. She uses really basic stuff and it’s rather boring. Sunset Bomb gets two and then Molly tries the Widow’s Peak. That doesn’t work and Victoria gets a backslide to retain.

Rating: D+. Short and pretty dull. The real thing here was the shaved diva which doesn’t really do much as the stipulation was more or less just thrown on. Lack of an interesting match for the most part but at least Victoria looked good in those little white shorts.

Head shaving ensues.

We recap Eddie vs. Angle. The idea in short is Eddie is a former drug addict and Kurt says that means he shouldn’t represent Smackdown. The idea is that Eddie is in over his head and Heyman, the Smackdown GM, is against Eddie too for no apparent reason.

During the video package, Molly is still being shaved.
Smackdown Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

They lock up in the first minute, already far ahead of Lesnar vs. Goldberg as far as pacing goes. We start with some mat stuff where Eddie is talented but in over his head. Angle takes him down with a judo throw and grabs a headlock. Let’s go Angle/Angle Sucks chants begin dueling. Angle runs him over with a shoulder and it’s a standoff.

Eddie gets a set of shoulder blocks and Angle hits the floor to clear his head. Back in and Angle takes it back to the mat which is where he’s definitely in control for the most part. Front facelock goes on to drain some energy out of the champion. Eddie escapes and we go back to the mat again with Eddie controlling a keylock. This is well done stuff as they’re definitely keeping things interesting out there for this.

Knee to the ribs takes Eddie down and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Eddie reverses and tries Three Amigos but can only get one as Kurt gets a German. Out to the apron and Angle of course can’t get the German to the floor because it would, you know, kill Eddie. Eddie knocks him to the floor and dives out at Angle but misses, hitting the barrier chest first. That gets two back in the ring.

Angle works on the ribs/midsection even more, eventually hot shotting Eddie onto the top rope for two. Belly to belly sends Eddie flying. Another gets two and it’s back to the ribs. Angle shifts it into a bearhug and then into a belly to belly for two. Middle rope belly to belly is blocked as is the running belly to belly. Frog Splash misses and Eddie’s momentum is gone just as fast as it arrived.

Kurt hammers away as Cole calls him a hypocrite for talking about how Eddie is a disgrace. Eddie shrugs it off and wants more shots. He fires back and gets a little momentum going. A charge in the corner misses and Eddie gets a belly to back suplex for two. Eddie still can’t get Three Amigos and it’s Rolling German time. The second is reversed into a rollup for two and then Angle drills Eddie to take him right back down again.

Angle Slam is countered and Eddie speeds things up a bit. Three Amigos are attempted again and again Kurt counters after a second one. Ankle Lock goes on for a bit but not that long. Dropkick puts Kurt down but as Eddie goes for the Frog Splash Angle gets the running belly to belly two. After a rollup gets two Eddie is caught in a German for two.

Another counter to the Angle Slam, this one in the form of a DDT sets up the Frog Splash for two. Has that ever happened before? Angle plays possum and picks the ankle out of nowhere into the ankle lock. Again he manages to send Kurt to the floor and Eddie is unlacing his boot. Angle doesn’t see this and comes right back with the ankle lock. Eddie kicks the hold off and the boot goes off with it. He grabs a small package on the confused Kurt (and wraps his feet around the ropes to cheat a bit) to retain in a brilliant ending.

Rating: A. Excellent stuff here. There’s definitely a story here with Eddie going move for move with Angle but in the end going back to his roots to pick up the upset. Also look at the intelligence that Eddie shows at the end by playing possum just like Kurt did seconds before to beat Angle as he goes just a step too far to retain the title. Go find this match and watch it. You’ll learn something.

We recap Taker vs. Kane. Kane had buried Taker yet again. This time it was over Taker turning into the American and ceasing to be a monster. I guess the tag title run they had together didn’t count? At the Rumble a Taker Gong went off to scare the heck out of Kane and the distraction let Booker put him out. This kept happening until it was announced his return would be here at Mania.

Undertaker vs. Kane

 

Yeah the build here isn’t quite as good as their first Mania match. Taker gets the full on Mania entrance, complete with darkness, chanting, fire, druids, and PAUL BEARER!!! Taker’s hair isn’t even to his shoulders here so the look is a bit off. Oh and he wears a cowboy hat now. Kane is all scared to death here and shouts that Taker isn’t real. He reaches out and touches Taker (there’s an old commercial in there somewhere) and Taker hammers away.

Kane hides on the floor and Taker starts his usual stuff. The ending is so obvious here it’s unreal. Some corner clotheslines put Kane down but the Last Ride is blocked. They mess up the reverse back body drop as they’re about three feet away from the ropes. Taker does some ground and pound but walks into a sidewalk slam. Top rope clothesline gets two.

They slug it out which of course Taker wins. Kane misses a charge in the corner and a running big boot puts Kane down. Old School is caught by a chokeslam and Kane stops to laugh. Taker sits up, Kane panics and I think you know what’s going to end the match.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. Taker completely squashed Kane here, which to be fair is more or less Kane’s job. Not much of a match at all although that’s what the people wanted I think. Taker has been the same character since this point for the most part and this was the beginning of the modern Taker.

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH is champion, Benoit won the Rumble and should get the one on one shot. However, at the Rumble Shawn and HHH tied in a Last Man Standing match so Shawn says he should get another shot. Always thought that was ridiculous. Shawn had his chance, but he didn’t win. It shouldn’t be him again. Anyway he signed the contract anyway so Austin made it a triple threat. The video more or less shows Shawn as a heel because he just wouldn’t let Benoit have his moment.

Raw World Title: Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

 

Surprisingly normal entrance for HHH here although he’s wearing white boots. We even get a weapons check which you never see anymore. Everyone goes after everyone to start us off here with Shawn avoiding a Crossface. HHH to the floor and the others slug it out. He comes back in when he thinks it’s best as we’re in a slow build here.

DX explodes for a bit and the fans think someone screwed Bret. Leaping knee gets two. Some nice tandem stuff lets Shawn hit a moonsault off the top to the floor to take everyone out. HHH and Shawn go back to the ring now with Benoit out on the floor. Facebuster to Shawn but he can’t hit the Pedigree as Chris saves. Shawn’s shoulder goes into the post and Benoit hits a snap suplex on HHH.

With Benoit in the Tree of Woe HHH throws Shawn into him in a cool spot. Shawn nips up so Benoit knocks him to the floor. Benoit hits Rolling Germans on the Game Shawn stops the headbutt and HHH takes him down with a DDT. Superplex by HHH gets two on Benoit. Make that three twos. The fans like Benoit here. Pedigree is reversed into a bad Crossface which Shawn breaks up.

Rolling Germans by Shawn are booed and reversed into a set by Benoit. Headbutt to Shawn gets two. Forearm and nipup by Shawn but there’s no one else in the ring. HHH comes in and gets beaten on for a bit. Elbow hits and the Band is Tuned Up. The kick connects but Benoit saves. Shawn vs. Benoit now with Shawn being launched into the post to bust him open. Terrible Crossface to Shawn and HHH grabs his arm before he can tap.

Benoit and HHH hit the floor for some brawling while Shawn is down. HHH sends him into the steps and preps the announce table. Just the Smackdown one though, not the Spanish one. Benoit, ever the traditionalist, puts HHH on the Spanish one. German is blocked as it the Pedigree. Shawn pops up and DX suplexes/drops Benoit through the SD table in a cool visual.

Back in the ring now it’s Shawn vs. HHH. They slug it out with neither guy taking over. HHH is sent to the floor and a cameraman is taken out. Ross wants an EMT for Benoit. HHH gets posted (without spam) and is busted as well. Pedigree out of NOWHERE is the counter to some punches. Somehow Benoit makes the save and the crowd pops like a cherry.

Benoit chops away but HHH grabs a Pedigree attempt which is reversed into a long Sharpshooter in an eruption. Shawn kicks Chris’ head off though which somehow only gets two. Ross’ voice is almost gone here. Loud Benoit chant starts up as Shawn Tunes Up the Band. Benoit backdrops him to the floor and walks into another Pedigree attempt. Benoit counters that into a Crossface with HHH in agony. HHH rolls backwards but Benoit hangs on and HHH taps, giving Benoit the World Title in the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A+. Great match, everything clicked, absolute classic. There’s nothing else I can say here.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with Benoit in a classic Wrestlemania moment.

Overall Rating: B. This is good but the length starts to get old after awhile. At 4 ½ hours long it needs about an hour cut off to be a classic. Still though with two great world title matches and some other good stuff in there it’s hard to argue. Also we get a legit Mania moment to end the show which is never a bad thing. Good show and worth seeing, but be ready to fast forward some stuff.

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Wrestlemania 19
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Ashanti

This show gets a lot of praise around here and I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve never been that enthralled by it, but maybe it needs another viewing. Your main event here is Kurt vs. Brock, which is simply due to Brock winning the Rumble and a solid build as you’re not really sure who the better man is. Brock is just past one year on television at this point and is going for his second world title.

To say he was dominant is an understatement. The real main event though is Hulk vs. Vince in a no holds barred match. It’s another instance of not putting the real main event on last, which is a shame as it got most of the buildup. Your midcard special is Jericho vs. Shawn in what was excellently built up as well.

We also get the third match in the Austin/Rock saga, which while still a big match, simply doesn’t have the big fire in it this time around. It turns out to be Austin’s last match as a regular. More or less that’s what holds this show back: the hype. The buildup was as good as any I’ve ever seen, but it wasn’t a mind blowing show. Let’s get to it.

Well done “it’s our World Series” package that never gets old, following Ashanti singing America the Beautiful which has been missed by me. The first problem with this show is simple: the theme song. Crack Addict by Limp Biskit. I never could figure out why they wouldn’t say the name of the song on television, but then it made sense.  Make your own PG jokes.

Cruiserweight Title: Matt Hardy vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is dressed as Daredevil as he beging his tradition of being a superhero at Mania. Matt is in the middle of what was always one of my favorite stupid gimmicks: Mattitude V1.0. This involves him having fun facts pop up on screen during his entrance which is made to look like he’s on a website.  Today’s Mattitude Facts: Matt is appearing in his 4^th Wrestlemania and Matt often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him.

He’s also desperately trying to stay at the Cruiserweight limit of 220lbs, often with comical results. Matt is accompanied by Mattitude Follower (MFer) Shannon Moore.  Hardy used Disco Inferno method of Cruiserweight wrestling: Wrestle like a heavyweight and hope it works out for the best.  Moore distracts Rey to start but Matt gets backdropped to the floor.  Blast you little MFer.

Head scissors and a spinwheel kick put Matt down and set up an attempt at a sunset bomb to the floor.  Shannon makes the save and allows Matt to take over.  Shannon’s people are called Morons.  Taz and Cole make bad jokes about how Matt got his weight down using terms like banana juice, teabag and BJ.  You figure the rest out for yourself.

Matt locks in a bow and arrow to keep Rey on the mat for awhile.  A corner charge misses though and Matt goes into the post.  Seated Senton gets two for Rey and we speed things up a bit more.  Shannon breaks up the 619 and there’s the Twist of Fate for two.  The foul poles in the background take a bit of getting used to.

Matt tries Splash Mountain from the bottom rope but Rey reverses into a rana for two.  619 hits and it’s West Coast Pop time.  Matt ducks so Rey settles for a victory roll.  Hardy ducks into it ala Owen at Mania X and grabs the rope to get the win.  That was abrupt to say the least.

Rating: C-. Not a fan of the ending at all.  This was getting good and they cut the legs out from under it after less than six minutes.  I get why they had to do that as a lot of the matches are long but the pacing of the match could have been a lot better to make that ending not seem so abrupt and not to make this seem like a TV match.  Still decent though.

Time for our first bad celebrities as the Miller Light Cat Fight girls show up. They’re two hot chicks that fight over beer. Their limo couldn’t be tackier as it’s a long black limo with a sign on the door saying Catfight Girls. It just doesn’t look good at all. The dumb arguments start already.

We get a clip from earlier with Nathan Jones, Undertaker’s tag partner for later, being laid out by A-Train and Big Show.  This would be due to the fact that the company thought he wasn’t capable of being on live PPV with his skills at the time.  Shouldn’t they have noticed this before Wrestlemania Sunday?

Limp Bizkit performs Rollin live to play us to this.

Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train

This is Taker vs. Big Show for the 10^th time or so.  A-Train is there for no apparent reason other than to make us think Taker might have some issues here.  Fred Durst does not belong in the ring at Wrestlemania with Undertaker, period.  This is officially a handicap match now.  A-Train spits on Taker’s bike to distract him so Show can jump him.  This of course fails and A-Train takes a chokeslam for two as Show saves.

Taker hammers away at both guys and makes sure to stay out of the corner.  This was part of the A-Train’s push which I never quite understood but they were trying at least.  Taker busts out a leap frog of all things and there’s Old School to A-Train.  Derailer (Chokebomb) hits Taker but of course he doesn’t cover.  Instead he sends Taker to the floor so Show can ram him into the post.

There’s a flag on Undertaker’s bike which is due to his nephew serving in Iraq who the match has been dedicated to.  Show comes in and they slug it out a bit.  Taker really likes to punch doesn’t he?  Show’s chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar and then into a cross armbreaker to A-Train.  Show drops a leg to break that up and rams some headbutts in.

Abdominal stretch goes on after all the head and neck work.  I guess Show is working on the ribs now.  A-Train comes in now and stomps away before putting on an abdominal stretch of his own.  Taker reverses into one of his own and that’s about the extent of his offensive run as it’s back to the beating again.  Train slaps him in the face because he’s not that intelligent.

Naturally Taker makes the comeback and hits a running DDT for two as Show makes the save.  Show is sent to the apron by the referee so Taker hits him anyway.  Here’s the comeback and the monsters are in trouble.  Big clothesline takes down Show.  And never mind as a bicycle kick takes his head off.  Chokeslam to Taker and here comes Nathan Jones.  He kicks Show in the aisle to take him down (shouldn’t that be a DQ?) and hits the ring.  Big boot to A-Train and the Tombstone ends this.

Rating: D. Can someone explain to me why this got ten minutes almost and the previous match couldn’t even get six?  Not much of a match and far too long for its own good.  Taker was never going to lose and everyone knew it, yet they let it go off even longer which didn’t help at all.  Jones was gone soon after this I believe.

Catfight girls run into the much hotter Torrie and Stacy.

We get a recap of the pointless Raw tag title match from Heat that leads nowhere.  That was on Heat and the Cat Fight girls were on here.  That’s life I guess.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Victoria

Jazz still isn’t cared for at all. As usual Trish looks great and gets the confetti for her entrance. Yeah, no guesses as to who is going over here. Victoria is champion coming into this and is in her total psycho phase here with the awesome T.A.T.U. theme music. I’ve always loved this character and throwing in that I always thought Victoria was mind blowingly hot isn’t hurting anything here.

Ross says that Jazz has a Mike Tyson like attitude.  Lawler says it’s a Mike Tyson like look.  Victoria has Steven Richards with her for no apparent reason.  Jazz jumps both of them quickly and sends Victoria to the floor.  She grabs a front facelock and flips forward to bend Trish in half with a facelock.  Trish gets a Thesz Press and poses a lot.  Victoria pulls her to the floor and we brawl out there for a bit.

Jazz vs. Trish in the ring at the moment with the less attractive one in control.  Double shoulder breaker to Trish so it’s Victoria vs. Jazz now.  Love that backless outfit on Victoria.  Lawler says Trish is like a quarter among pennies.  What the heck does that even mean?  Match is kind of a mess so far but it’s not horrible.  Powerslam by Jazz gets two on Trish.

The heels go at it again which Trish takes advantage of, ramming their heads together to take over.  Big spin kick by Jazz misses and Trish gets a rollup for two.  Chick Kick gets two.  Trish kicks Victoria to the floor as Jazz shouts a lot.  Half crab goes on and into an STF to Trish by Jazz.  Stevie intercepts Trish’s tap out so Victoria isn’t out.

Trish gets a rollup of Victoria and we get a nice shot as Trish pulls the tights.  Double chickenwing by Jazz to the blonde but Victoria takes Jazz down.  Moonsault misses though, but Victoria still sends het to the floor.  Stevie accidentally hits himself with a chair and takes a Stratusfaction for being an idiot.  Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title.

Rating: D+. This was just your standard Women’s Title match and nothing more.  They’ve been the same for years and this was no different.  Trish gets the title back for a token title change and would likely hold it for a very long time.  Yeah that’s all I’ve got.  Oh and Victoria has a nice figure.

Rock is bitter about being booed last year against Hogan and has turned his back on the people. He’s obsessed with beating Austin in a big match, which I don’t think he ever has.  This takes way longer than it should have.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle vs. Rhyno/Chris Benoit

First fall wins it here as I continue to be amazed by how well Eddie suited his gimmick. While he’s not as great as he’s given credit for, he certainly was good. Team Angle is Charlie Hass and Shelton Benjamin by the way. Hass was supposed to be the breakout star at first but obviously after about two matches we knew that wasn’t going to happen. This is more of what we’ve seen all night long: a match that’s good enough to be a decent TV main event, but not WM worthy.  No point here other than for the titles to be on the line.

Team Angle has the titles here.  Benoit had a masterpiece with Angle at the Rumble but since a guy that was ridiculously popular and great in the ring clearly had no business feuding with HHH on Raw for the title (I mean we had SCOTT STEINER to do that) he was shoved into this pointless tag team and wasted most of 03 until he got so popular that he went to Raw the next year after winning the Rumble.

Big brawl to start as the referee tries to settle things down a bit.  Chavo and Haas finally get us started.  Haas tags out to Benoit and it’s Benoit vs. Eddie now.  This works for me.  To the shock of no one they hammer away on each other with neither guy being able to maintain an advantage.  They ram heads which allows Rhyno to be brought in.

Powerslam to Eddie gets two.  Benjamin comes in for the first time and works on the neck of Rhyno.  Chavo breaks up a pin attempt as this is just ok.  It’s like any match that could have been on Smackdown yet it’s here on Wrestlemania.  Benoit suplexes Haas for two.  We’re off to Rhyno vs. Benjamin now.  They’re tagging in and out quickly but it’s kind of keeping anything from getting started.  It’s been a random assortment of one on one matches so far.  Nothing bad but nothing that interesting.

Eddie dropkicks Rhyno to take over and it’s off to Benoit vs. Guerrero again.  Guerrero gets a belly to back and sets for the Frog Splash but gets caught in a superplex for two as Shelton saves.  Benoit fires Eddie into the air for a flapjack and pulls him down into the Crossface in an awesome looking move.  Haas breaks it up seconds later and then just leaves so the two masters can go at it some more.

Chavo comes in and cleans a lot of house.  His name being Guerrero kind of hurts him as he’s always in Eddie’s shadow.  Rolling Germans to Chavo but Chavo makes a blind tag to Shelton.  Superkick to Benoit gets two.  Eddie vs. Shelton at the moment so Shelton covers Benoit.  Frog Splash breaks up the pin though so it’s off to Chavo vs. Haas.  Haas suplexes him and gets Gored.  Gore to Chavo and Benjamin steals the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. It was getting a lot better at the end when they dropped the tagging stuff but this was a match that could have been on any Smackdown for the most part.  It’s good and definitely the best match of the night so far.  Still though, not much here but good stuff for what it was.

Torrie and Stacy argue with the Catfight girls over who made Mania, Hulk or Vince. This isn’t sexy or interesting, it’s just annoying at this point as the Catfight girls read from a script. Apparently this argument is going to be settled “in bed”. Lord help us all.  One of them keeps saying Holgan instead of Hogan.

From this thing on, everything is nearly 18 minutes long.

We recap Jericho vs. Shawn.  Shawn came back and won the world title.  Jericho ran his mouth so Jericho got kicked in the face.  He eliminated Shawn from the Rumble and vice versa.  Shawn was his inspiration apparently and wanted a match at Mania.  Jericho was walking through the curtain one night and something kicked him in the face.  Shawn came out and posed over him, saying he’d see him at Wrestlemania.  Jericho was evil here, putting Stacy in the Walls of Jericho and drilling Shawn with chairs.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn brings a confetti gun with him.  Oh ok he has them throughout the entrance to fire his own pyro.  Cute kind of.  Shawn gets pyro that goes around the back of the stadium when he does his in ring pose.  That’s pretty cool.  The fans are into Shawn of course as they have some mat stuff going on to start us off.  Shawn lays on the top rope which is something I always found funny.

Headlock takes Jericho to the mat and out he goes to the floor.  Shawn teases a plancha but Jericho sees it coming.  Shawn stops and goes with a baseball slide instead.  Back in a cross body gets two for Jericho as he rolls through Shawn’s move.  Jericho hammers away but can’t get the bulldog.  Shawn busts out a figure four and Jericho is in trouble.

After that doesn’t last long a headscissors puts Jericho on the floor, allowing Shawn to hit his plancha.  Jericho counters and locks on the Walls on the floor.  Shawn’s back goes into the post and HBK is in trouble.  Jericho gets another dropkick to keep Shawn on the floor.  Shawn’s back is the target now and it’s all Jericho.  The cocky pin doesn’t work so we go to the chinlock.

Shawn reverses a suplex into a DDT but he can’t get up.  Once he finally does, Jericho adds a forearm and the Nip Up.  Shawn Nips Up also and then does it again.  There’s the moonsault press for a long two.  We get the always classic pinfall reversal sequence, resulting in a Walls attempt but Shawn kicks him off instead.

Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Jericho but Shawn bridges up for a backslide.  Jericho reverses that and takes Shawn does to retain control.  Lionsault gets two and Shawn starts his comeback.  Rana misses though and it’s into the Walls for Shawn.  Shawn makes the rope but his back is destroyed.  Backbreaker sets up a top rope back elbow for no cover.

Instead Jericho Tunes up the Band.  A fairly awesome Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and Jericho isn’t sure what to do next.  Shawn gets a cross body out of the corner and some rights to buy himself some time.  Shawn teases the Walls of Jericho but goes with a slingshot instead, sending Jericho into the post.  Jericho tries a belly to back off the top but Shawn spins over into a cross body for a long two.

Shawn goes up and gets crotched via the referee being sent into the rope.  Superplex is blocked though as Shawn shoves him off and there’s the elbow.  Time to Tune up the Band again but the kick misses and it’s into the Walls again.  A rope is grabbed and Jericho tries to beg to the referee.  Chris walks into Sweet Chin Music though and down he goes but Shawn can’t cover.  Both guys are back up and Jericho sends him into the corner.  Shawn flips over and gets his feet under Jericho’s shoulders, rolling him backwards to end this finally.

Rating: A-. Definitely a great match, but not an all time classic. HBK shows he still can go at Mania and Jericho has one of the best matches of his life here as he’s totally into this. The only thing missing was the superkick to end it for Shawn, but this might have been better, not sure yet.

Jericho kicks Shawn in the balls post match, cranking his heel rating up by about 10.
Last month at no Way Out the show was in Montreal, there was a French ref that screwed Hogan out of the rematch with the Rock by helping Vince. He heads into Vince’s locker room.

Goldberg debuts at Backlash. That may have been the biggest flop in company history. It turns out he fought Rock in Rock’s last match before he left to make another movie, thereby more or less ending his time as an active wrestler.

New attendance record of over 54,000. Impressive again.

Limp Biskit performs AGAIN, and somehow the people couldn’t care less than they did the first time. This goes on 5 minutes.

Torrie’s Playboy came out two days later. We see clips of a news conference.  We get the Catfight between the Catfight Girls and Torrie/Stacy.  Coach gets stripped down to his underwear, as do the rest of the girls. Not a real match, not an interesting segment. The only thing good about this is Stacy’s Legs music which I always liked.

Time to talk about the Raw World title.  This show has been on for nearly two hours and this literally hasn’t been mentioned until now. There hasn’t been a graphic, there hasn’t been hype, there hasn’t been an interview. If that’s not proof that the title matches aren’t the biggest on the card, I don’t know what is.

The idea here is that they’re playing up Booker’s hard life growing up vs. HHH’s privileged lifestyle. Booker pinned him on Raw in a tag match. Nothing about this match screams Mania at all. Unforgiven or Judgement Day maybe, but not Wrestlemania.

Raw World Title: Booker T vs. HHH

Oh and Booker pinned HHH on Raw this past week.  I forgot about that but it’s not like it’s going to matter.  HHH has the purple tights on here too.  Poor Booker.  He actually thinks he has a chance here.  We hear about his hard life and how he worked his way up to become a 5 time WCW Champion.  Jerry: HHH told us how much of a joke that place was.  Ross: I worked in WCW.  You didn’t.  How would you know it was a joke?  Jerry: Was it a joke?  Ross: Darn right it was!  Too funny.

They slug it out in the corner to start with Booker having a slight advantage.  HHH actually goes up top and gets arm dragged down.  Out to the floor now and the champion goes into the post.  Back in and a clothesline gets two for Booker.  Now we talk about the Fink for no apparent reason.  HHH sends Booker to the apron and rams his head into the post to take over.

Jerry keeps making prison/court jokes about Booker.  Neckbreaker by HHH gets two and he lays in the shots.  The fans chant for Booker so HHH hits a spinebuster on him to quiet that down and get two in the process.  Big clothesline in the corner gets the same.  Suplex gets reversed and Booker hits a DDT and Lawler makes fun of Booker again.  Ross has to stop himself from saying GD which gets Lawler laughing.

Side slam gets no cover for Booker but a spinning forearm gets two.  Sleeper by HHH doesn’t work but a high knee does.  It’s been mainly the champion in control here.  Facebuster connects but HHH walks into a spinebuster for two.  HHH tries to go up again and jumps into a jump kick by Booker for two.  Axe kick and side kick misses, the latter of which sends Booker to the floor.

Flair drills Booker’s knee into the stairs to give HHH something to work on.  HHH busts out an inverted Indian Death Lock which you won’t see for years.  HHH, love him or hate him, is almost as old school as you get.  Off to a regular one as Booker is in trouble.  For those of you unfamiliar, the best way I can put it is a Sharpshooter with the legs instead of the arms and legs and less torque on the back.  It doesn’t matter as a rope is grabbed.

HHH tries to send him into the corner and Booker collapses.  Knee crusher is reversed into a sunset flip for two as the fans pop big for it.  Pedigree is countered but Booker is launched into the referee who stays down for about a second.  Must not have been planned.  Booker gets a jumping back elbow and his leg is fine now.  Scissors kick puts HHH down as now the leg hurts again.  That gets two.

Booker goes up but Flair interferes to let HHH get to Mr. T.  Superplex is blocked and Booker hits the Harlem (Houston here) Hangover for no count as Flair puts the foot on the ropes.  Naturally, as after all HHH isn’t allowed to lose the title for a very long time right?  Booker’s knee gives way and HHH hits the Pedigree.  Twenty five seconds later HHH puts his hand on Booker and retains.  Well of course he does.

Rating: C+. This was around the time that HHH was trying to expand his moveset to include things like the sleeper, Indian deathlock and DDT. They’re ok, but he wanted them as extra finishers and that just didn’t work. It was a very weird time in his career right now and this match it the crowning glory of that time. It’s clear here that Booker wasn’t going to win the title and was being fed to HHH. If you want to see the time where people say HHH was taking over the company, here is exhibit A.

WM 20 is going to be at Madison Square Garden. That is where it belongs.

We recap Hogan vs. Vince.  If Hogan loses, he retires…again. This is billed as 20 years in the making, despite this being the 19th year of Mania. The fight is over who should get the credit for Mania, both the Hulka and Wrestle varities. That’s a thread that was great when it was done and I’d like to see a replay of it.

Anyway, this is a street fight for obvious purposes. It’s also the match that sold this show, but in WWE logic, that can’t go on last of course as they didn’t learn from last year. While obviously this isn’t the entire story, the more I see of this the more I think Hulk should get more credit. Based on the video alone, this should be the main event.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Hogan comes out to Voodoo Child. Are you serious? WWE owns the rights to the most legendary theme song in wrestling history and they use Voodoo Child? The pop is barely even there which surprises me. The fans are into it, but there’s not much special.

To top it all off, he comes out first. Seriously? I know Vince isn’t a fan of Hogan’s but this is absurd. Once they say his name he gets a pop, but I really think the fans didn’t know who he was at first.  Hogan, nice guy that he is, rips up a Vince Still Sucks sign.To say McMahon is ripped is an understatement.

Hogan takes him down with a clothesline to start and we get some “ground and pound.”  Vince fights back and hammers away, working on the arm.  They’re moving incredibly slowly right now too.  The arm goes around the post as we talk about the steroids trial in the early 90s, which according to Stephanie was like 9/11.  Test of strength goes on and Hogan fights back up.

They ram chests like Warrior and Hogan but once again Vince kicks him in the gut to bring him back to his knees.  Vince having a muscular man on his knees.  Make your own jokes here.  Hogan fights up for the third time and gets kicked in the ribs again and sent to the floor.  Vince hammers away even more and has been in control the majority of the match here.

Chair shot to Hogan misses and Vince is rammed into the post instead.  The chair drills Vince as Hulk takes over for a bit.  Vince is busted open so Hogan hammers away.  Crowd is into this too.  Another chair to the back and down goes Vince.  Hogan misses a chair shot and the Spanish Announcer takes it in the head.  That’s what he gets for putting stuff on their table I guess.

Low blow by Vince shifts control again and he grabs the chair.  And now Vince sets up a ladder.  This cannot end well at all.  He sets it between the tables and Hogan is laid out on the Spanish Announce Table with a monitor shot to the head.  Vince climbs up, does the hand to the ear, and drops a leg onto Hogan, leaving both people laying.

After they lay around for about two minutes off of that, Vince rolls him back in and gets two for a big (although what should be an unsurprised) pop.  Vince’s face is creepy from that.  He goes under the ring and luckily finds a lead pipe.  We get the famous shot of Vince’s crazy/evil eyes as he slowly rises up above the apron to get back in.

Hogan, ever the hero, gets a low blow to make Vince drop the pipe.  A guy runs in through the crowd in a hood and pulls it off, revealing Rowdy Roddy Piper.  Well he belongs in the discussion I guess.  He picks up the pipe and drills Hogan with it, I guess being a heel.  Piper is fathere too.  Piper leaves and that gets two, putting us right back to where we were before Piper got here.

The referee steps on the pipe so Vince can’t use it.  It’s a street fight so anything goes right?  Vince drills him and waves down another referee.  He gets two: an actual referee and the aforementioned French referee (future tag champion Sylvan Grenier).  Another pipe shot and leg drop get two as Hulk Hulks Up.  Down goes the French dude to the power of AMERICA.  Hogan drops THREE leg drops and this is finally over.

Rating: B. While not the legendary classic it gets credit for, this was very fun indeed. Piper makes little to no sense to me at all here. Stupidly enough, it led to a feud between Hogan and Piper/Sean O’Haire. Really? Anyway, this was a very fun fight all day. I never really thought Vince would win, but it was fun to believe in him for awhile. Biggest flaw for me though: that freaking Voodoo Child song. HULK HOGAN’S MUSIC IS REAL AMERICAN. Anyone could tell you that. So freaking stupid.

Shane comes out to check on his dad.  Yeah that’s all he’s here for.  Seriously, he does nothing else.

We recap Rock vs. Austin.  What recap do you need here?  This match is the epitome of a grudge match. The idea here is simple: Rock has never beat Austin in a big match, namely at WM. He has done it all but defeat his arch rival and it’s killing him. This would have been so much more effective had it been 1-1 at Mania for them.

The problem for me was simple. So what if Rock wins? It’s still 2-1 Austin and Austin beat him twice for the title. That doesn’t exactly scream even to me. This is a weird thing to do here as Rock is finally (get it?) as big as Austin as far as star power despite Austin being so far past his prime he can’t even see it and Rock would be gone in a month, but he’s finally the true heel here and it’s one on one.

This whole match is built on Rock needing to win and getting more and more desperate to do it. They’re both nowhere near as good as they were 2-3 years ago, but they’re still very solid.

This gets the music video treatment but it doesn’t pack anywhere near the punch of My Way.

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is Austin’s last match as today.  Austin comes off his fourth corner and turns around to see Rock waiting on him.  This is the first time Austin came out second I think.  There’s the bell and these two at Mania just feel right.  They slug it out and Austin takes control, shocking no one.  Stunner misses early and we hit the floor.  We go to the Smackdown table with Austin beating Rock to death.

Rock goes into the steps and takes a belly to back suplex in the ring.  We get into the wrestler vs. actor debate which is rather interesting indeed.  This match has DQs mind you.  Rock gets a shot to Austin’s knee which I think is his first offense of the match so far.  Out to the floor again and Rock gets a second chop block to take Austin down.

After some more knee work on the floor Rock sends him into the ring again and stomps away.  Austin fires off some punches but lowers his head and Rock takes the knee out again to stop Austin’s momentum.  Sharpshooter goes on and Austin is in trouble.  Hebner is the referee so I’d listen for a quick bell.  Rock might take that….something or other to Hollywood and Vince might not get to make a bombing movie out of it.

Ross goes OFF on Jerry about talking about Hollywood so much.  Rock wraps Austin’s leg around the post again and throws on Austin’s vest.  Oh my stars and garter belts.  Austin fights back and it’s a double clothesline to put both of them down.  Back up and they slug it out with the knee seemingly fine again.  I guess that’s a Texan thing.  Thesz Press and Austin hammers away.

FU Elbow gets two, probably because it’s just an elbow drop.  Austin stomps a mudhole but Rock hits a clothesline and nips up.  Austin gets a Rock Bottom out of nowhere to the Rock as he’s still in the vest.  That gets two. Stunner is blocked but Rock gets the Stunner for two of his own.  That should be a scoring system in the event of a tie.

Rock hammers away but the final punch misses and it’s a Stunner by Austin for a long two.  Austin tosses the referee away to get to Rock but Rock gets a low blow and it’s time for the People’s Elbow.  Austin moves out of the way but can’t get another Stunner.  The second People’s Elbow (minus the jacket) gets two, likely because it’s just an elbow drop.

Both guys are spent and Rock is getting up first.  The fans are all over the Rock here.  Rock Bottom hits but only gets two and a big pop.  Rock is stunned.  See what I did there?  Another Rock Bottom somehow gets two and Rock doesn’t know what to do.  A third Rock Bottom FINALLY ends Austin and the Rock has finally gotten the win at Wrestlemania over Austin.

Rating: B+. This is a tricky one.  It’s a far cry from their epic wars before and is a joke compared to their match two years ago, but this was a different kind of match.  I shortchanged this before but this is a good match.  Rock was the star here, which granted has to do with him being 30 and Austin being 39 here.  They beat the heck out of each other and while Austin was a shell of his former self he was still good here.  Good match and a good way to close out Austin’s career.

Austin gets the big sendoff as I think it was kind of understood that he was done at this point.

We recap Angle vs. Lesnar.  Lesnar won the Rumble to get here and Kurt is champion.  Kurt had thrown Team Angle at Lesnar a bunch and kept ticking Lesnar off, including switching places with his brother to get a pin on Brock in a title match.  This is more or less a dream match and if anyone interferes, if Kurt gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

And here we are. FINALLY it’s the last match of the show but the fans are so drained they don’t even know what’s going on anymore. Kurt had reinjured his neck but instead of being out for a year and you know, really getting it fixed, he got a quick fix, resulting in him likely being on the verge of death every time he gets in the ring. There was a real chance this was his last match.  Cole’s voice is almost completely gone here. Lesnar of course has a rib injury. My goodness when did he not have a rib injury?

Brock debuted the night after Mania the year before (which was in mid March but we’ll call it a year still) so this is an incredible rookie year for him.  We get both of their resumes and they’re incredibly impressive to say the least.  Tito Ortiz is in the front row.  All of a sudden a lot of the ground and pound and submission stuff just got a lot funnier.

Shocking no one they go to the mat and technical stuff early.  It’s so weird to see guys that are awesome at what they do with that stuff and have it look this good.  Angle tries the headlock but Lesnar easily overpowers him.  Kurt is moving very gingerly here.  Brock fires off those shoulders in the corner and gets a powerslam for two.

Angle snaps off a suplex but Brock is right back up almost immediately.  Out to the floor with Kurt trying to run.  By the power of Akbar though, IT’S A TRAP and Kurt drills Brock as he comes in to take over.  Brock is like screw that and gets a gorilla press to take over again.  Angle Germans Brock into the buckle in an awesome spot.  Brock gets pounded down on the floor for a bit.

Belly to back gets two in the ring.  A vertical version of it gets two as well.  Kurt grabs a modified STF that has Brock in agony.  It shifts off into a chinlock as Angle loses the leg hold.  Modified camel clutch now which furthers the pain in the ribs.  Can’t say Kurt doesn’t have psychology going for him.  Brock stands up and rams Kurt’s back into the corner to break the hold.

Belly to belly by Kurt reinjures Lesnar’s ribs as does a knee to the back.  A second sends Brock to the floor.  Back in Angle runs into a spinebuster Brock comes back and hammers away with the power but runs into an elbow.  BIG belly to belly sends Angle flying as does a second one.  Those get two and probably another neck surgery for Kurt.

Angle grabs Rolling Germans out of nowhere, each time landing on the back of his head and neck.  This time it’s 4 suplexes though and both guys are spent.  Neither finisher can hit with the F5 being countered into the ankle lock.  That gets shifted to the half crab which is probably a stupid move by Kurt given the position he had Brock in.  Cole’s voice is gone.  Get that man some tea.

Kurt charges but gets backdropped to the floor to give Brock a chance to breathe.  Brock takes over but Angle gets one HECK of a German suplex, flipping Lesnar onto his stomach in the air for two.  There go the straps and the Angle Slam hits, naturally, for two.  Cole says that’s the first time anyone has kicked out of it.  Something tells me that’s nonsense.

Brock counters another Slam attempt into a small package that Taz calls a Spladle or something like that.  Yeah it was a small package.  F5 out of nowhere gets two as the crowd is finally into this.  Ankle Lock goes on and gets the grapevine.  Wow so someone actually did escape this.  Ankle lock is avoided, as is the Slam.  HUGE F5 puts Angle down, but Brock goes up instead.

We now get the sickest looking spot in a good many years at any show as Lesnar, weighing nearly 300lbs and being dead tired goes to the top rope. Now when I originally watched this, I had seen Lesnar down in OVW use a shooting star press and it was the best  thing I’d ever seen in a wrestling ring, but there was no way I could ever believe he would throw one out at Wrestle-freaking-mania.

Of course he did though, but he shows why he shouldn’t, as he under-rotates and lands on his head. I don’t care who you are, that is sick looking. Luckily Angle is smart enough to cover him here to keep the match going. Right there, if Lesnar had gotten pinned I don’t think anyone would have been able to say a word to him.

They show the replay from another camera angle and you can hear Taz absolutely freak over it. That was indeed one of the sickest looking things I’ve ever seen. Lesnar hits another F5 and gets the win. Post match, Lesnar’s eyes show that he is absolutely gone. He has no clue where he is and it looks bad. Angle shakes his hand and fireworks play us out.  Clearly not the planned finish but they did what they could and it made sense given the circumstances.

Rating: A-. These guys nearly killed each other, literally. One of those suplexes goes bad and Angle dies, Lesnar nearly killed himself on the ending. This was a great match though, but the ending just stops it in its tracks and it really hurts things. Had that landed, this is a definite A. It’s certainly worth watching though.

Brock is handed the title and is absolutely gone.  I doubt he knew his name at this point.

Overall Rating: B. This went back and forth for me. It’s definitely good, but it’s far from great. It ended well with the face taking the gold like he should have, but the booking for this show was absolutely terrible. What this show desperately needed was a first half main event. Look at your final five matches: HBK/Jericho (best wrestling on the card by far), HHH vs. Booker T (Raw Title), Street Fight (the real main event), Austin/Rock (no explanation needed) and Lesnar/Angle (SD Title).

You can clearly see the problem. There’s no chance at all to catch your breath here and it’s very draining. A filler, like say Taker’s match in between there somewhere and another like the triple threat tag match, or even the Raw Tag Titles from Heat would have nearly saved this show. Maybe a segment or something like that also. Either way, the second half of this show is WAY too packed and it hurts things badly. The show is good, but I’d watch it out of order. Recommended, but not as great as it’s made out to be.

Elimination Chamber 2011
Date: February 20, 2011
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s the final major stop on the Road to Wrestlemania as tonight we more or less set the main events in stone.  The title matches are the Smackdown Chamber match which has an open spot and Jerry Lawler vs. The Miz for the Raw Title.  It blows my mind that there’s an actual chance that is somewhat open for debate about who wins.  Also there’s the Raw Chamber match and that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about what you would expect: it’s a video of how the Chamber is the big diabolical (their word not mine) turn on the Road to Wrestlemania.  This is another of those shows where the big match sells itself and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

The set has what looks like the side of a Chamber in front of the Tron.  Yeah that’s not a bad idea at all.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

 

Not a bad choice tos tart with but I’m so used to the Chamber starting us off that it’s a bit surprising.  Ricardo gets in a jab at the Raiders which is rather easy to do to be fair.  Alberto says that he’s committed to excellence unlike the people from Oakland.  Commitment to Excellence is the motto of the Oakland Raiders if that line makes no sense.  Tonight six men fight for the chance to face him and there’s nothing they can do to stop him.  Kofi’s music finally cuts him off.

This is non-title mind you.  Josh talks about Alberto taking liberties on Horny while Horny was blindfolded.  You can make your own jokes there.  We get an Alberto chant to start and a basic back and forth sequence to start.  Alberto is sent to the floor where Ricardo plays nurse as well as he can.  Kofi tries something on the apron and is rammed into the post to soften up the arm.

Body scissors by Del Rio who has a big chant going for him here.  Belly to back gets two for Alberto and it’s back to the body scissors.  Kofi fights back and gets a spinning flying forearm off the top in an awesome looking move.  They fight from their knees up to their feet and Kofi chops away.  Boom Drop hits but Trouble in Paradise misses.  Pendulum kick hits but the cross body is countered into a knee that might have been into the arm or ribs but it wasn’t clear.

Del Rio tries a superplex but Kofi fights him off and gets a missile dropkick for a close two.  It’s always cool when it looks like the referee threw his shoulder out on the two counts.  Del Rio gets something close to a GTS but instead it ends with a double knee to the ribs.  That only gets two and Kofi counters what looked like a big atomic drop into a DDT.  Ricardo distracts though so it’s only two.

The Armbreaker can’t go on as Kofi grabs the rope before it is applied.  SOS gets a very close two.  Booker is totally behind Kofi but says he’s trying not to be biased.  Kofi jumps at Del Rio in the corner but misses and Alberto gets a nice neckbreaker for no cover.  Cross Armbreaker is attempted but Kofi locks his hands to avoid it for a bit.  And never mind as it goes on and Kofi taps.  Alberto’s face is hilarious.

Rating: B. This is the kind of win that Alberto needs.  Kofi can afford some losses like this as Del Rio’s star is rising rapidly.  Also he didn’t get destroyed at all as he got ripped off by Ricardo a bit.  This worked rather well but is something you could see on a lot of Smackdowns for free.  Still good though.

Orton is ready.

Edge says he’s had a bad week and now that he has to walk into an Elimination Chamber after a week with Vickie, it seems like a walk in the park.  Drew McIntyre comes up and asks about the casualties like Kelly.  Edge says that Kelly and the title have something in common: neither will ever be seen with Drew.

Video about the Chamber which makes me think we’re getting ready for a lumberjill match.  What?  You don’t see the obvious connection there?

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Wade Barrett vs. ???

 

Remember that we have an extra spot open in the Chamber due to Dolph having been fired.  Kane comes out first and therefore is in a pod to start.  Drew is out second and therefore will be in a pod as well.  The first four will be in pods which means we get to see who the final guy is rather soon.  Barrett is in third.  We hear about his bare knuckle fighting experience which makes me ask again: has he ever used said skills to win a match?  Also Cole thinks Barrett is from Eastern Europe instead of Western.

Here’s Teddy Long when we’re ready for the fourth person.  He’s here to introduce the next participant I guess.  Here’s the replacement: It’s Big Show which is kind of what I expected when he came out there.  Rey vs. Edge to start.  Five minute periods as always with the last man standing winning.  Every five minutes another comes in.  Edge and Rey start off kind of slow which makes perfect sense as they want to maintain energy.

Edge sends Rey out to the steel for the first time with a backdrop.  Drew is all ticked off and hammers on the glass as he wants to get to Edge as fast as possible.  Edge and Rey fights on the outside with Rey being rammed into the cage multiple times.  Rey gets rammed into the glass which is “the strongest in the world” which gets two.  We’re more or less just killing time here and there’s the ten second clock.

In third it’s Barrett.  He’s all fired up and goes after Rey immediately.  Edge gets up to slow down the Englishman.  Edge and Rey work together until Edge slides Rey across the mat and cage so that his head rams into the wall.  FREAKING OW MAN!  Boss Man Slam to Edge gets two and Barrett turns his attention to Rey after taunting Show.  Pumphandle slam gets two.

Barrett is dominating here and we’re out on the steel again.  A shot to the cage with Edge’s head going into it gets two.  Edge low bridges Barrett and Wade might have hurt his knee.  Rey takes down Edge but as he goes up Barrett stops him.  Wasteland on the cage is countered as Rey grabs the cage.  He tries to climb but Barrett catches him in a powerbomb position.  Rana takes Barrett into the ring but Edge gets a big boot to stop the 619 for two.  Again, why would you stop a finisher?

In fourth is Kane.  He goes straight for Edge but gets caught by a boot.  Kane cleans house, beating everyone in sight down.  Everyone wakes up and gangs up on Kane as they should.  A bunch of kicks to the head can’t stop him so we get a triple clothesline with Barrett clotheslining Edge and Rey and vice versa.  We get some basic stuff and Barrett gets beaten down by Kane outside.

Rey tries to go up to take down Kane but a HUGE uppercut knocks Rey down into a Tree of Woe.  Edge adds a baseball slide for two.  Kane, Edge and Rey in the ring now while Barrett is slowly crawling back in.  In at #5 is McIntyre.  No eliminations yet.  Drew has been wanting in the whole time and immediately picks up Rey and launches him into the glass.  The Europeans beat up Kane, who actually is European as well so scratch that theory.  Drew kicks the rope as Barret gets in and then throws him through the UNBREAKABLE glass.  That’s a running joke now and it’s never been funny.

Drew is all annoyed and goes after Edge.  All Drew here as he can’t get Futureshock on Edge but Edge hits Edgecution for no cover.  Rey is somehow still alive as Edge is trying to get up.  Edge wants the spear but Kane grabs him in a chokeslam.  Rey is back in too but can’t hit the 619.  Kane beats everyone down and slams Rey into the post.  Drew can’t get Futureshock again as Kane backdrops him onto Barrett outside.

Edge and Kane hit double big boots to take each other down.  That replay of Rey being thrown in awesome as it’s amazing he’s still alive.  Show is getting ready as we’re under ten seconds.  Naturally he takes down everyone.  Barrett is the only one not in other than kind of Rey.  HUGE chop to Drew.  Barrett is the only one left standing other than Show and the stalking begins.

Show gets his hand on Barrett and chops away like 8 times on the outside.  Barrett rolls back into the ring and it’s all Show.  Big punch coming and Barrett is more or less dead and the pin is academic.  We’re down to five and Rey is on top of a pod.  Kane hits the top rope clothesline.  Edge adds a top rope elbow for two as Show launches Edge over the referee.  Futureshock to Show as Rey is still up there.  The DDT gets two as Rey is ready to jump.  Huge seated senton gets two as Rey is LAUNCHED.

619 and a spear put Show down but Kane fights them off.  Chokeslam to Show and we’re down to four (Kane, Drew, Edge and Rey if you’re curious).  Drew jumps into a chokeslam immediately and we’re down to three.  It’s more or less a handicap match here but Edge is taken down.  Rey hits a bunch of stuff on Kane but he can’t get the pin.  Spinning cross body is caught in a chokeslam position but he reverses into the 619.  Rey goes up and jumps into a powerbomb.  Spear from Edge and a double cover is enough to take Kane out and we’re down to Rey vs. Edge.

Kane kills Edge with a big boot and a chokeslam to Edge has both guys down.  After them laying there for a good while, Edge gets up and tries the spear but Rey reverses into a rollup for two.  Springboard cross body is rolled through into two for Edge.  Sitout bulldog gets two.  Rey goes up but gets stopped by a shot from the Canadian.  Mysterio knocks Edge down and tries a rana but Edge reverses into a sitout powerbomb for a long two.

Another powerbomb is countered into the 619 but Edge catches it and locks on the Edgecator of all things (kneeling Sharpshooter that he uses once in a blue moon).  Rey is in trouble but reverses into a rollup for two.  Good stuff here.  Edge sets for the spear and the fans are booing a bit.  Spear misses but the second one doesn’t and it’s NOT OVER.  Rey kicks out again in a big surprise.  619 hits and the springboard splash gets two.  Another 619 hits and Rey goes up.  Edge pops up and spears him out of the air to go to Wrestlemania FINALLY.

Rating: A. GREAT match here with Edge vs. Rey being the highlight.  I would say the ending was predictable but still, the ending sequence with all the kickouts was so good that it’s more than ok.  I don’t like Rey but he was great here.  I loved all the aggression in there with everyone destroying each other all night long.  Great stuff here and one of the better Chamber matches I can remember in along time.

Post match Alberto hits the ring and the beating is on Edge.  The Armbreaker goes on but CHRISTIAN runs out for the save to the least interested response from Cole that I have ever heard.  Unprettier to Del Rio (yes I know it’s the Killswitch but Unprettier is a better name).  Edge gets a spear to Del Rio to put him down.

The Rock will be at Mania.  Not sure if you heard that.

Lawler is getting ready when Striker comes in to ask for Jerry’s thoughts.  He’s thinking about his mother which is good emotion from Lawler.

Booker gets to make an in ring appearance and introduces the third trainer of Tough Enough: TRISH STRATUS??????  Even with the brown hair she’s still great looking.  She says she’s been getting excited about being around the ring and has been working on a new catchphrase.  FINALLY, the Trish has come back at Oakland to deliver Stratusfaction to the millions SUCKA!  Uh…yeah just wear little clothing Trish.  Booker wants to know that she didn’t just say that.  She’s here tonight to see King win the title.

Chaperone trailer despite the movie bombing for the most part.

Tag Titles: Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater

 

Jackson is here too which makes me think there’s a title change here.  Kozlov and Slater to start but it’s off to Santino almost immediately.  Off to Gabriel now as they trade strikes and leg sweeps.  Vlad gets a  battering ram to send Gabriel to the floor but a kick to the head puts the Russian down.  Very international match here with Canada/Italy, South Africa, South America, Russia and America being represented.  Slater in with a slingshot corkscrew splash for two.

Booker keeps calling Jackson a thug despite him not doing anything yet.  Back to Santino again who gets all fired up.  Hip block sets up the headbutt for two.  Gabriel comes in and it’s Cobra time.  It takes down Gabriel but Slater is legal so Marella has to cover him for two.  Slater gets up and stomps away at the Canaditalian.  Gabriel misses a slingshot hilo and it’s off to Kozlov who has no heat on the tag.

Blind tag brings Slater in and Jackson pulls Gabriel out of the ring.  Slater gets a reverses DDT for no cover as he brings Gabriel back in.  Santino is taken down by Slater and the 450 FINALLY gives Corre their first gold in the form of the tag titles.  Quick and simple and more or less a Raw match but the mild buildup works perfectly here.

Rating: C. This was a Raw match on PPV but it was perfectly fine.  Corre winning is the right move here and this lets them spread over to Raw, setting up the potential clash at Mania.  This was perfectly fine and a good way to bridge the gap between the first half and second half of the show.

Miz says he’ll win because this is his time, not Lawler’s or Rock’s.  He says he’ll address Rock later.

Here’s Vickie to waste more time.  She’s a bit quieter here.  She says that Dolph and her were dealing with some issues as he has a bad temper.  The booing is kind of funny.  It was a crime of passion apparently when Dolph jumped Teddy.  She begs for the fans to plead with Teddy to rehire Dolph as she deserves some compassion and a little bit of love.

Teddy comes out and Vickie sucks up to him.  Dang I didn’t want that image in my head.  He says shut up as he’s in a hiring mood.  It’s not Dolph but he’s rehired Kelly instead.  Kelly shoves Vickie down and the beatdown is on.  Laycool comes out for the save and beats down Kelly.  Trish comes out and runs them off but they go after Trish.  The good girls fight back and beat down Laycool and pose to end this.  Trish botched a lot of stuff in there too and it was rather bad.  We couldn’t have added five more minutes to Kofi vs. Alberto?

We recap Miz vs. Lawler.  There’s a great bit at the beginning showing Miz doing his apron pose and the different titles and things he’s had to hold in a quick montage.  Miz talks about how he was told to quit and kept rising up the ranks resulting in this title reign.  Lawler said that Miz needed to shut up and that’s all we see of their rivalry.  Instead we see Lawler winning the Raw rumble.  We get a cool montage of Lawler and how he’s won over 140 titles but never the WWE Title.  Cool video indeed.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Jerry Lawler

 

Wow I never thought I’d type that.  We even get big match intros.  Jerry in white and black with a cape here.  That’s rather awesome.  The bell rings twice so technically this isn’t happening.  Jerry gets a quick backslide and small package for two each.  He unleashes his variety of punches as it’s all Lawler so far.  Miz gets knocked to the floor and chills for a bit.  Riley distracts Jerry though and Miz sends him into the post to shift momentum.

Miz can’t get Lawler in the ring for some reason.  He settles for a running knee while Lawler is on the apron for two.  Jerry gets a punch and the fans wake up.  Running clothesline in the corner and down goes Lawler.  Miz goes up and Jerry crotches him so they slug it out on the middle rope.  Superplex puts Miz down for two.  Riley’s reactions out there are hilarious.

They slug it out again and Jerry gets a pair of dropkicks for no cover.  Backdrop and a falling punch get two as Miz is in trouble.  We get something close to Cole being civil by saying Lawler is hanging in there.  Riley interferes by tripping Lawler and is ejected.  I know it’s a long shot and more or less an impossibility but the stars are seeming to align for Jerry to pull this off.  Miz misses a charge in the corner and Lawler rolls him up for two.

Miz escapes the Piledriver and gets a big boot for two.  Jerry reverses the pin into a rollup for two and then Miz is sent to the floor over the top.  Cole is so annoying here as Jerry rams Miz into the announce table.  Cole says he and Miz have a personal relationship which you can make your own jokes about.  Jerry throws Miz at the commentators and Miz lands on Cole.  Booker cracking up at that is great.

Lawler is in control here and goes up top as we’re back in the ring.  Top rope punch to a standing Miz gets a very close two.  Crowd is INTO this.  Miz gets a thumb to the eye but can’t get the Finale as Lawler shoves him off.  Jerry gets a DDT and Miz is reeling!  He looks at the Mania sign and goes up for the middle rope punch.  With a point to the sign and the strap coming down, Jerry gets the fist but Miz gets his foot on the ropes.  My heart jumped into my throat there.

As Booker talks about Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog for no apparent reason the Piledriver is reversed into a rollup by Miz for two.  Jerry reverses that into one of his own for two but Miz gets a kick to the head.  And there’s the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.  It was a nice dream while it lasted but at the end of the day I think we all knew this was coming.  Still though, INCREDIBLE job here by WWE of making us think it could happen.

Rating: B-. The match was weak from a technical standpoint but they NAILED the drama here.  Jerry is a master at working the crowd and he had me believing that it was possible.  He made us believe that he could actually do this and put on a passable match at the same time.  I really hope this results in Jerry vs. Cole or Riley at Mania, but still this was a great performance and the whole thing worked.

Cole celebrates like crazy and poses with Miz in the ring.  Jerry gets up and is like well I tried.  He gets a standing ovation and they play his music to take him out.  Cole of course WILL NOT SHUT UP and let Lawler have his moment.  If this doesn’t end with Jerry piledriving Cole half to death then it fails.  Still though, great moment and incredible storytelling by WWE there.

2-21-11 promo.  Yes, let’s continue to look for tiny clues in there when we’ll find out tomorrow.

Cena is eating Fruity Pebbles and Todd comes in.  Cena says that he’s thinking about the Chamber tonight and not what happened on Monday.  He feels Yabba Dabba Delicious though.

Striker is with Punk who says he’ll win.

Mania is in 42 days.  That sounds incredible.

We recap the first match Chamber match which is going to be hard to top.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. CM Punk vs. R-Truth vs. John Morrison vs. Sheamus

 

Truth, Punk, Orton and Cena in the pods to start.  Punk gets in Orton’s face while Orton is in the pod.  Booker says he can go right now and he means against Cole.  Morrison vs. Sheamus to start us off.  How in the world is Morrison a dark horse like this?  Oh and remember that the winner gets Miz at Mania.  Here we go.  The fans seem to like Punk but I’m not sure if that’s what they’re saying.

They start off with some nice back and forth stuff until Sheamus slaps him.  Angry Morrison shows up and the beating is on.  Sheamus hides outside so Morrison dives over the top rope to take him out.  Both block head shots to the cage and Morrison sets for the Flash Kick.  Sheamus avoids it but Morrison is like boy I’m John Morrison so he catches himself on the cage and hits a Flash Kick from there instead.  That gets two back in the ring.

Sheamus takes over and we have dueling Cena/Punk chants.  With not a lot going on it’s Orton in third.  He cleans some house and it’s a powerslam (Booker calls it a scoop slam) to Sheamus and then one to Morrison (scoop powerslam according to Booker which I can live with).  Morrison goes through the glass.  Actually he might not have as the door might have been open.

Orton manages to get the elevated DDT to Sheamus onto the cage in a painful looking spot.  Punk enjoys that for some reason.  All Orton here as Morrison and Sheamus are getting destroyed.  Morrison takes a superplex for a close two as no one is gone yet.  There’s one for Sheamus as well for the same result.  Miz and Riley are watching.  Oh and Scott Armstrong has a job again.

In fourth is Punk and Orton is waiting on him.  And they can’t get the pod opened.  Punk is stuck in the door!  THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!  Orton is like screw it and hammers away as Punk still isn’t out!  Ah there he is.  RKO and Punk is gone in like 12 seconds!  Orton celebrates….and we get an E-Mail???  Since Punk couldn’t get out, he’s back in the match.  Dang it all.  He’s allowed back into his pod also.  Oh sweet goodness.

Irish Curse to Orton but the High Cross misses.  Flash Kick to Orton and it’s Sheamus vs. Morrison now.  Morrison is thrown to the steel and might have hurt his ankle.  There’s the clock again and it’s Cena in now.  And never mind as Sheamus kicks his head off as soon as Cena’s pod opens.  Cena is up soon after it but can’t get the FU to Morrison who flips out to land on his feet on the steel.

Morrison takes out Orton and Sheamus.  Cena dumps Morrison to the steel again and they fight out there for a bit.  Sheamus is like forget it and launches himself with a double slingshot clothesline to take both guys down.  Orton vs. Sheamus in the ring now and a Thesz Press takes Sheamus down.  Truth is in next and Sheamus tries the same thing he did to Cena which doesn’t work here.

Truth hammers away on Sheamus in the pod which works for a few seconds.  All five still in now.  Truth cleans a little house with the Lie Detector to Cena.  And then he walks into a Brogue Kick to put him out.  Orton vs. Cena and Sheamus vs. Morrison at the moment.  Sheamus’ back is all red and purple.  Orton throws Morrison through the glass and then the superpowers explode.

They slug it out but Orton gets a sweet dropkick for two.  There’s the clock and it’s time for Punk.  Orton waits on him and the door opens for a change.  Cena grabs Orton though but it winds up being an RKO to Cena on the steel.  Punk isn’t in the ring yet.  Brogue Kick to Orton and apparently covers count on the steel as Punk gets two out there.  Punk does the RKO setup in a nice bit of cockiness and manages to get the GTS to put Orton out.

Down to four now (Punk, Cena, Sheamus and Morrison).  Punk goes after everyone but the bulldog on the steel to Sheamus doesn’t work at all.  Morrison vs. Sheamus now and Morrison tries to climb a pod.  Sheamus follows and they fight ON TOP OF THE POD.  Sheamus sets for the High Cross but Morrison fights out of it and knocks Sheamus to the mat.

Morrison CLIMBS THE DOME OF THE CHAMBER and hangs there before dropping down onto Sheamus for the pin!  Would have been better if Sheamus hadn’t looked at him for 10 seconds but dang that looked incredible.  Punk charges at Cena which fails completely.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits and Punk rolls to the steel.  FU doesn’t work out there but Morrison dives on both of them and they’re all down.

With Cena down, Morrison tries the running knee at Cena but it misses and the knee goes through the glass.  FREAKING OW MAN!  In the ring Punk covers off a freaking snap mare for two.  Triangle choke goes on which is now the Anaconda Vice apparently. Cena is like screw it and stands up to allow Morrison to team up for a Doomsday Device for two on Punk.  Wow they’re going old school here and Morrison is looking great.

FU to Morrison but Punk takes Cena down so there’s no cover.  Punk gets the springboard clothesline to Cena on the steel and Punk might be busted open on his arm.  Punk slingshots Cena into the glass which doesn’t break.  COVER HIM!  Naturally he doesn’t as he goes after Morrison.  A slingshot into the pod doesn’t work as Morrison catches himself on the pod then jumps to the cage and hits a Flash Kick.  Starship Pain misses though and the GTS ends Morrison.  Cena pops up and hits an FU over the ropes and onto the steel to go go Mania!

Rating: A-. Another great match here.  I hated the Punk thing at first but now it’s not so bad all things considered.  Cena winning is again predictable but at the same time it’s the best match they have available.  I’d love to see it and if you throw Rock in as a wildcard how can you go wrong?  This was a good match and the whole thing worked.  Good stuff again and worth seeing.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show.  When the worst match is perfectly acceptable, how can you say it’s anything but great?  We have Mania set up, there was great drama in the Raw Title match, Corre gets a title now and we got two GREAT Chamber matches.  Mania is set and I’m getting fired up now.  Couple that with the Rock and 2-21-11 tomorrow and how can you complain?  Great show and well worth seeing.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreaker

Edge b. Wade Barrett, Big Show, Kane, Rey Mysterio and Drew McIntyre – Edge last eliminated Mysterio to win

Justin Gabriel/Heath Slater b. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella – 450 to Kozlov

The Miz b. Jerry Lawler – Skull Crushing Finale

John Cena b. CM Punk, John Morrison, Randy Orton, R-Truth and Sheamus – Cena last eliminated Punk to win

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well, it’s a completely new company now, with the primary difference being the brand split. Also, HBK is back, having one final match at Summerslam and now another one final match here tonight. Tonight has no Survivor Series matches but we do have the debut of the Elimination Chamber. The other major difference is the reigning WWE (yes E instead of F) Champion Brock Lesnar, who has absolute taken the company and the wrestling world by storm as he won the title at Summerslam.

Rock is now gone off to Hollywood to make I think Rundown. HHH is heel now and is the reigning World Heavyweight Champion. The rest of the card really doesn’t look like much at all. We have a lot of the new guys that would come to define this era now, such as the Guerreros and Mysterio. This is of course most famous for the end of the Elimination Chamber, but maybe the rest is good too. Let’s find out.

First of all, the theme song for this show is Always by Saliva, which is my all time, undisputed favorite song, so I’m already loving this show. As tends to happen with the Brand Split shows, there’s no intro video and we head right into the first match.

Bubba/Spike/Jeff Hardy vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match. Bubba and Spike come out to another Saliva song, as they might as well just have been the official band of the company at this time. That’s fine with me as I like them. They sucked in concert though, but the tickets were 15 dollars for three bands and they were certainly worth five bucks. Anyway, Bubba and Spike are the Dudleys now as D-Von is a preacher on Smackdown with a deacon named Batista.

Three Minute Warning is more commonly known as Rosie and Jamal, who is more known as Umaga. Rico is the, shall we say, flamboyant guy that just showed up earlier in the year. These guys are fighting for no apparent reason other than they’re a team feuding with another team. Jeff is there…well I doubt he knows why either. Three Minute Warning beat up Jeff and Spike on Raw apparently.

Bubba is wearing a black vest/shirt and camouflage shorts so he looks stupider than usual. As the match starts we get to the high spots as Bubba launches Spike at the big guys but they catch him. Bubba assumes the position and they set up Poetry in Motion for Jeff who is as far in the air as I can ever remember him getting. That looked SWEET. The what’s up hits on I think Jamal as they have to tag in this? I’ll never get the point in having tagging in gimmick matches like these. It just makes no sense.

The point of the match is to put people through tables yet you can get disqualified? Yeah that makes zero sense. Bubba gets a table set up in the corner which gets Spike head rammed into it. Rosey dives at Spike but misses so he goes through it himself, which doesn’t count because he wasn’t put through it by an opponent. We’re already in a spot fest here which is what this should be. I can’t imagine any of them being able to work a long term match so this is the best thing they could have done.

Spike is taken out by a double powerbomb which makes sense as he tends to just suck most of the time anyway. If he wasn’t such a strange character, Rico could have been something special. From what I’ve read he’s a great cop though so that’s a good thing. He had a real job to fall back on which is something I completely respect.

After a brief exchange of power between the faces and the heels, we move out into the crowd. Rico shouting at Jamal to get Bubba makes me chuckle. I love how again they’ve just said screw the tag rules and are going insane after about a minute into the match. All five guys are back together again as JR is all of a sudden stunned that a Hardy and a Dudley are working together.

Jeff climbs way in the air and hits a swanton through Rosey through a table off part of the set. Again, the high spots are making this one work. Everyone but Hardy is back in the ring now. Rico goes for a moonsault but seems hesitant to actually jump. He turns to look at the other side of the ring and clearly can be heard and lip read saying Jeff come on dang it! Oh that’s just great Rico. Naturally Jeff shakes the ropes and Rico goes down about a second later.

That was just completely horrible and inexcusable on Rico’s part. I know Jeff is the one that missed the spot, but there had to be another option. Rico as a heel could act like he has another idea, or he could pretend to slip, or he could pretend to be scared. There’s a ton of other options besides exposing things like he did. The faces start their comeback with Jeff leading the charge. I wouldn’t have believed that he would one day be a three time world champion.

Considering what I’m watching, that’s just weird to type. Jamal puts Jeff through a table but for some reason they say it was Jeff messing up that caused it. Jeff messing up? NO WAY. It’s completely stupid because a second later, Jamal goes to the top and splashes Jeff through the table. Well that was a waste of time but it was a cool looking spot. Again, I couldn’t have imagined that these two would have a rather lengthy feud over the IC Title in the future.

That’s why you pay attention to the midcard and openers: you never know when they might be having decent matches in the future. The splash was sick at least. So we have Bubba against a future IC Champion and the guy that was John Cena’s old tag partner in OVW (talk about two careers that went in opposite directions). Bubba counters a hurricanrana attempt by Jamal into a powerbomb through the table so we have Bubba and Rico. Yeah this isn’t interesting anymore.

Three Minute Warning come back and beat the heck out of Bubba, but D-Von runs out in Dudley gear to reform the team. He beats up both big guys on his own to set up the 3D on Rico to a MASSIVE pop. This was when the Dudleys actually meant something. Bubba, after getting help on a 3D which took awhile to set up, is surprised that D-Von is there. That makes no sense but ok.

Rating: B. From a technical standpoint, this match was crap. However, considering what it was supposed to be, this was great stuff. It was mainly high spots and violence, but that’s exactly what it was supposed to be. The crowd was WAY into the reuniting at the end, so they’re fired up, meaning this match has more than done its job.

You have to consider what kind of a match you’re watching. Not everything is going to be like Savage vs. Steamboat, but a lot aren’t supposed to be. I think that’s a mistake a lot of people make when grading matches and it’s not a fair comparison to make. Considering what this was, it was great.

Stacy is at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York since they couldn’t just call it WWE New York I guess. She looks as amazing as ever, showing off her perfect stomach in a nice blue number. She’s Test’s PR person at this point, meaning she says testicles a lot. She introduces Saliva who sings Always, making this segment awesome. They’re at the club, so that’s a very nice touch.

This is spliced together with short highlight packages of the feuds for this show. Also, the singer, Josey Scott, DESPERATELY needs to grow his hair out again. He has it really short now and it looks horrible. This looks like a decent performance. Why in the world weren’t they this good when I saw them? This song set to the HHH vs. Shawn feud is great for some reason. They’re doing a concert at the club and as they go into Click Click Boom we go back to the arena.

Cruiserweight Title: Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman

This was around the time where the belt meant absolutely nothing at all. More or less there would be a challenger of the month and someone would get a big non title winning streak against the champion, which would Noble in this case. Kidman beat him in a non title match of course, because that’s just how things are done. No one cared about the title at all and the way it wasn’t built up at all was living proof of that.

Naturally, this is going to be the match of the night because these guys are going to go nowhere and having no storyline whatsoever other you pin me, I pin you, we get a PPV paycheck because of it. Oh yeah Noble is with his girlfriend Nidia at this point, who was a co-winner of Tough Enough. Both have just terrible music that’s so painfully generic. Tazz says Noble has something up his sleeve, despite him not wearing a shirt, meaning he has no sleeve. That’s not my insight or joke.

Those are the exact words he said. Amazing. The crowd is deader than Noble’s career at this point. Kidman goes for the shooting star (Both Bourne’s and Lesnar’s are better. I don’t mean the botched Mania one, but the one in OVW. Go look it up. It’s RIDICULOUS. He just jumps into the air and hits it halfway across the ring. It’s one of the truly mindblowing moments in wrestling history), but Nidia pulls him out.

Shockingly, once the match picks up, the crowd is alive. All of a sudden this is good. Kidman hits a forward DDT off the top rope but somehow only gets a two. Since Noble is the champion he has to respond. So he sets Kidman on the top rope for a spike DDT. Think of the thing Orton does when he puts someone’s feet on the middle rope and DDTs them, but a rope higher and a shorter guy so it’s at an even sharper angle. DANG my mouth just fell open.

That looked awesome and it got a great reaction. Naturally it should cripple him so it gets a two and within fifteen seconds Kidman is back in control. And you wonder why these guys get criticized. After a brief comeback, Kidman hits the shooting star for the title. Well that was abrupt to say the least. I really hate Kidman’s bad rap music.

Rating: C+. Well the beginning flat out sucked. After about two minutes though, they just went at it and it got good. The lack of pins when they should have happened hurt things a bit though, or at least Kidman being in control after a sick DDT fifteen seconds later is just stupid, but other than that, this was fine. It’s not great, but it did what it was supposed to do.

Benoit and Angle argue over who the captain is. Benoit is breaking the rule of wearing your own brand’s shirt means jobber. Angle has reached baldness at this point. After they stop arguing, Benoit sticks out his hand, but Angle hugs him. The look on Benoit’s face is breathtakingly funny.

Jericho, rocking a three inch minimum beard, is getting ready. We’ve seen RVD do this earlier in the night.

Crazy Victoria gets in an argument with her mirror that she shatters. Victoria as a psycho is one of the sexiest gimmicks of all time, hands down. King and Ross debate this as Always plays so this is great again. We recap Trish vs. Victoria which is something about Victoria being held back by Trish, with part of the package being set to a rip off of the Psycho theme. How awesome is that?

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

This is hardcore rules. Sadly Victoria just has generic rock music here instead of All The Things She Said, which fit her so well. They really were nailing music around this time. How did they mess that up later on? Trish’s music just plain works. This might as well just be billed as hotness in a ring as Trish is of course gorgeous and I’ve always had a thing for Victoria. I think it’s the jet black straight hair, but that’s just me I guess.

They fight with a broom and for some reason I feel like I’m watching some kind of screwed up ballet or interpretive dance thing. It’s just odd indeed. Lawler implies that Victoria is ugly. What the heck? I mean, yeah Trish is likely prettier but that’s like saying Ted Turner isn’t rich compared to Warren Buffet. Turner is hardly a poor man. Granted he probably got close with how much WCW lost but whatever.

There are people walking in front of the entrance which is again across from the cameras and it’s rather distracting. Let’s fight over an ironing board because there’s nothing weird about having one of those in a match at all. The “ugly” diva is bleeding from her nose. How in the world is she supposed to be ugly? She’s GORGEOUS. Heck I’d even say she’s a knockout. That was dangerously close to being clever. Trish gets a kick to Victoria’s chest.

Since no one noticed that the kick missed apparently, Trish just does it again which looks stupid as it makes you think that something was wrong with the first one. For some reason the way JR is talking about the women using things on each other makes me think I’m watching something rather different. Actually that’s not a bad idea. Victoria wins out of absolutely nowhere with a snap suplex. That again just came out of freaking nowhere. More Victoria bashing as she leaves which is just stupid.

Rating: C-. This was…different. It was ok but it just wasn’t what these two likely should have been in. I get the hardcore aspect given Victoria’s character, but this never had the right feeling to it for me. It wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t feel right if that makes sense. They looked good, but just not in the right place. I have no idea what I meant by that so don’t bother asking.

Booker is getting ready as we hear more Always.

Bischoff is talking about something when Big Show comes in and says he’ll be sorry for trading him. Why? For winning a title on another show? How does that prove anything? Whatever.

Brock (who gets a pop) and Heyman are in the back also, with Heyman being nervous. Brock has a broken rib (more on that later) which explains the nervousness.

We recap the feud with Brock and Show, which doesn’t really exist. Brock had won a feud against Taker and Show beat up Taker, which somehow got him a title shot. The idea is simple: Show is too big for Brock to throw around like he has done to everyone else.

On Smackdown, Brock had called out Show and beat the living tar out of him with a chair. The chair actually looks tiny between these two, despite Brock not being incredibly tall (6’2). Heyman and Brock had been showing signs of tension, more or less giving away the ending to this match already.

WWE Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Show’s stupid outfit of choice around this time was the singlet top and long black pants. Not tights mind you, but pants. And people wonder why this guy is criticized like no other main eventer ever. Show has some arm injury or something. Crowd pops like a coconut for Brock. He’s more or less a face already at this point so we were just waiting for Heyman to screw him over.

With Brock it’s a classic case of someone that’s supposed to be a heel but is just such a freak that he gets wildly over anyway. The crowd is completely for Lesnar here with a big chant for him starting about eight seconds into the match. The thing is, I don’t know if it’s pro Brock or anti-Show. Big Show is probably at the worst stage of his career here as he just completely and utterly sucked.

No one, I repeat no one, wanted to see him here to do anything but make Brock look awesome, and that’s why he’s here. Think about it: what better way to make Lesnar look great other than to have him throw around the biggest guy in the company? Show starts off with his standard offensive strategy of “let’s do as little as possible but try to make it seem like I’m doing a lot because I’m so freaking fat.”

Naturally, it doesn’t work as Brock just spears the heck out of him. Shame he didn’t do that more often with the Vikings. Show just looks idiotic dressed the way he is. It looks like he’s getting dressed for his job as an accountant or something like that. When Vince wrestles dressed like that, it looks fine because he’s not a pro wrestler and more or less is just a street fighter in a wrestling ring. Show is a multi time world champion. See why that’s stupid?

Lesnar actually gets a decent belly to back. I say decent because it sucked but Big Show is more or less dead weight because he’s spent three minutes in. Lesnar makes up for it with a German. That was nice. My goodness Show is horrible. I mean seriously, all he’s doing are forearms, bad punches and weak kicks. Brock is legit hurt here and is doing 99% of the work, mainly because Show is spent.

Following a ref bump, Lesnar gets a fine (given the circumstances) overhead belly to belly on Show. This guy is legit scary. Despite his client kicking Show’s face all over the Garden, Heyman throws in a chair and you can see it coming a mile away. Show is back up and breathing in enough air to suffocate the first nine rows. Brock gets his chair shot punched and more or less says boy please by cracking Show over the head and F5ing him, in something that just blows my mind completely.

He’s legitimately hurt, and he pulls that off. I mean just DANG. Here’s your other referee, and here’s your Heyman heel (I guess) turn to go with it. Cole’s commentary is bad to put it mildly. The look on Brock’s face is scary. I mean really scary. He chases Heyman but gets nailed with the chair and chokeslammed on it, and Show wins the title as the fans are mad. I don’t mean mad because the heel won, but mad in the sense of who freaking booked this because we want them shot.

This was less than four and a half minutes, actually making it one of the shortest world title matches where the title changed hands in history. Heyman and Show embrace as Show looks stupider than usual somehow. Cole saying that it’s surprising because Lesnar and Heyman have been together since Brock got there. That’s about seven months if you’re counting. The heels run to their waiting limo and leave naturally as we get the second replay of this.

Rating: D-. This is a tale of two ratings here. Lesnar gets a pass in every sense of the word here. I mentioned the ribs being a point of interest. They were injured by Show at a house show because he wasn’t safe in the ring at this point. Lesnar was supposed to go over Show here but because of the injury, the Big Show of all people gets the belt. I’ve never seen a main event guy that flat out didn’t deserve it as much as he did here.

I mean he was just flat out embarrassing out there. It was nothing but punches and forearms, while Lesnar can barely breathe because his bones are in pieces and he’s out there throwing Show around, yet he’s the one that has to lose the freaking belt because Big Show, the fat load that he is, injured him and there’s no other way to go.

THANKFULLY, Show was champion for a month as he dropped it to Angle at the next PPV, leading to the absolute classic of Benoit vs. Angle that happened at the Rumble. I can’t wait to get to that one. Anyway, Show sucks, Lesnar is the freaking man, end of story.

We go into the recap of the three way feud between Edge/Mysterio, Angle/Benoit, and the Guerreros. More or less, Angle and Benoit won the inaugural tag titles in a tournament (Billy Kidman and John Cena were partners. How weird does that sound?) beating Edge and Mysterio in perhaps the best tag match of all time the previous month.

Edge and Mysterio took them from them in a 2/3 falls match on Smackdown. The Guerreros are there…well because there was nothing else for them to do I guess. The main thing here is Angle and Benoit are arguing over who the captain is, but when they get in the ring they’re so awesome that it doesn’t really matter.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Benoit/Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Rey is still more or less a rookie at this point. This is elimination rules also. Al Wilson and Dawn Marie, who are engaged, are at ringside. This was a disturbing angle, but it led to a lesbian angle with Torrie and Dawn Marie, so it’s awesome. Al might have been the first WWE TV character to actually die. That’s saying a lot. The intros take forever as Benoit, Angle, Edge and Mysterio all have their own entrances.

Edge is getting all kinds of pops, as is Mysterio. That’s saying a lot considering Benoit and Angle are far bigger stars. We start with Benoit and Mysterio. That’s fine by me. Cole calls the match where Edge and Rey won the titles historic. Why? It was a 2/3 falls match and while it was good, I’d hardly say it was historic, but it’s Michael Cole so just a bit over the top is good for him. Angle gets another great pop as the crowd is white hot for everything here.

Eddie and Chavo are both cowards of course. Imagine if Edge and Mysterio were midgets. Chavo would be running for his life. Rey comes in and gets things going much faster which is what you need him to do. Eddie is just a midcard guy here and wouldn’t get a real main event push for a little over a year. Anyone can tag anyone here, making this very interesting indeed. This is a really fast paced match which makes sense given who’s in there.

Kurt slams his shoulder into the post as hard as anyone I’ve ever seen. That was painful looking. This is another of those matches that is hard to make fun of because it’s good so far. Angle was back to being goofy at this point which hurt him a bit, but it worked in the ring still. He puts a front facelock on Rey, which after eight minutes at that pace, I think it’s ok for a short break.

As soon as they break that up, Kurt and Rey crank it right back up again and the crowd is right back into it. That’s a good sign that the crowd stays with you. Angle goes for the tag but Eddie and Chavo hit the floor as Edge comes in. Edge and Kurt had been feuding for awhile now with Edge, resulting in Angle’s lack of hair. Angle counters the spear into the ankle lock and Benoit adds the crossface for the double submission attempt.

Rey hits a springboard seated senton to take out Kurt and then a dropkick to take out Benoit. Chavo pulls Angle to the floor as Rey hits the ropes and launches a corkscrew over the ropes to take them both out. Benoit starts the rolling Germans but on the third one, Eddie comes off the top with a sunset flip to Benoit who doesn’t let go of Edge, resulting in Benoit being in the sunset flip and Edge being suplexed at the exact same time.

Beginning with the Edge spear and ending with the kick outs from Edge and Benoit, that took about thirty seconds and was possibly the most exciting thirty seconds in the history of the Survivor Series. I was in absolute awe of it and that hardly ever happens to me. That was absolutely epic. Within seconds, and by that I mean like two, they’re going again, this time with Benoit beating on Edge even more.

He goes for the headbutt but Eddie hits the Frog Splash, but Benoit hits the headbutt to break up the pin. Before anything else can happen, Angle runs in and puts the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit has the crossface on Edge. Chavo brings the belt in which is something that I hate. It was one of the fastest paced and flat out entertaining matches I can ever remember seeing until then, but I guess it fits the gimmick.

Benoit thinks Angle hit him because he took the belt from Chavo. Benoit and Angle get into it, allowing Rey to hit Benoit to set up for the spear, eliminating Benoit and Angle. They lay out the champions before leaving in an argument, which sets up their best match of their absolutely epic series at the Rumble. Wow once they left the life got sucked out of this thing. I’m thinking one fall might have been the way to go here.

Rey comes in with a springboard cross body so high you would think he was Jeff Hardy. Edge spears both guys in the corner at once to set up the worst move ever: the Bronco Buster. It doesn’t hit which makes me cheer. Rey hits the 619 but Chavo hits the belt shot to the back which makes Rey tap to the Lasso From El Paso, which is more or less a weak Boston Crab. I’m really not wild on the standard cheating to win the belts here at all.

This could have been great and the first half was, but sadly this was the end of the greatness that was the early days of the WWE Tag Titles. Within less than a year we would have teams like Haas and Rico and Rikishi and Scotty winning the titles. The belts became jokes of course because Vince can’t allow any great wrestling on any show period, because it might make them realize that half of the stuff he’s got is just flat out terrible.

Rating: B. This is another tale of two matches. The first half, which is with Benoit and Angle, was some of the most entertaining, breath taking fast paced greatness that I’ve ever seen in a tag match. The part after that could have been an example from a book called How to Have a Boring Title Change.

I mean there was nothing that would have kept that part from being on any run of the mill TV show or house show for that matter. That’s how typical it was. From what I’ve read, this match was blown out of the water by the No Mercy match which had no Guerreros in it, so that’s on my short list of must see matches.

Chris Nowitski, a Harvard graduate and Tough Enough guy that could have been a decent midcard heel if he hadn’t gotten injured. He has a degree from Harvard though so I think he’ll be fine. He got a bad concussion at a house show and was forced to retire. He now does a ton of great work studying the long term effects of concussions and does special appearances for WWE.

It looks good for a guy like this to be on Vince’s payroll, as it shows he’s actually caring or at least pretending to care about the long term health of his workers. Anyway, Chris cuts a decent anti-New York promo here. Considering he had been in the company about five months at this point, he wasn’t half bad. He never would have been anything great, but he could have made a pretty good manager or commentator, something along the lines of Matt Striker.

Actually, as I’m writing this it’s 3:30 AM on September 25. meaning to me it’s still Thursday night. It just so happens that Thursday the 24th was Chris’ gimmick that I’ve always loved. I have no idea what it was, but I loved it. What I could make of it was that he more or less started a cult/fan club, with his opening video being set up to look like a website, complete with really funny factoids on the side, traditionally two per entrance.

Tonight we learn that “Matt keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees” and “Matt only drinks lowfat chocolate milk.” This gimmick was one I always liked, which is saying a lot as there’s not a lot of them that I like. This one is unique to say the least though. He teases being a face by asking Chris who he thinks he is because apparently Chris didn’t insult New York strongly enough.

Matt’s promo is about as good as Chris’, which means that it’s a failure. Chris is a rookie and Matt is a veteran, meaning that it’s ok for Chris to be below average, but not for Matt. This was pretty weak, but as they leave we discover the point to this as Scott Steiner debuts. This was a bit of a surprise, but he had been on Confidential, which was one of the Saturday night shows that started off as great and wound up sucking, the night before saying he was a free agent.

This would lead to a bidding war between Raw and Smackdown, eventually won by Raw and leading to perhaps the worst match ever with him and HHH at the Rumble. He just happens to be in his gear for no apparent reason and beats the heck out of both heels without saying anything at all. Oh dear Scott Steiner has a live mic. Oh good it’s just his catchphrase. Anyone that doesn’t believe steroids happen in wrestling, just look at this freak.

Terri is with Shawn (who has the stupidest looking haircut of all time) as he’s talking about why he believes he can win the title when we have BREAKING NEWS from RNN. This was a short term gimmick that the newcomer known as Randy Orton was doing. Orton, with some fairly long and messy brown hair, talks about how he came to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because the flight didn’t hurt his shoulder any worse. Keep sending those get well soon emails!

We get a clipped down version of the video earlier recapping the feud. The basic idea is HHH vs. Shawn vs. four other upper midcard guys that have a prayer, but it’s highly unlikely that it’s going to end with anything other than DX exploding. Remember, this is Shawn’s 3rd match in nearly five years, if you count the Mania match against Austin. That’s ridiculous to say the least. Part of this feud was the great moment where Shawn came out in a wheelchair and got up to take out HHH.

HHH gets interrupted by Coach who is just a freaking moron, at least on camera. HHH actually says that the other five guys are some of the best in the world. That’s saying a lot coming from him. He says he has a first class ticket to a very warm place and the only question is who is coming with him. That’s almost a great line.

Bischoff comes out and walks us through how the chamber works and how deadly it is. If nothing else it looks awesome. The match isn’t weak at this point like it’s become now. The day before I got to this part, the announcement was made that No Way Out will be turned into another theme PPV about this. I really hate that. Hearing the words Elimination Chamber used to be a big deal, but now it’s just a cliché. It’s far worse with Hell in a Cell though.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. HBK vs. Booker T vs. RVD vs. Kane

This is in the Elimination Chamber. If you didn’t know that by now, then PAY ATTENTION YOU MORONS! Jericho is out first, which means that he and the other three after him will be in the pods. For those of you that have never seen one of these matches, the idea is fairly simple despite looking complex. You have a massive cage around the ring complete with a metal floor so in essence there’s the ring itself and then another area around it in a circle.

Behind each of the four ring posts there’s a smaller chamber with a person inside of it. We being with two men in the ring and four in the pods. After five minutes, another man is released. It’s pinfall or submission, last man standing wins. Jericho’s entrance is awesome as he’s using a Saliva song, and as he comes out we cut to the World where Saliva performs it live. That’s very cool when you think about it. Booker is next.

He’s here…uh…actually I have no idea why he’s in this. I guess because he’s a big name. He would feud with HHH heading into Mania, so I guess I’d call this a tryout in the main event scene for him. Jericho lost the title to HHH at Mania so there are his credentials in case you were wondering. Ah Booker pinned HHH in a tag match a few weeks ago. It’s better than no explanation I guess. Kane is third. I don’t think he really needs an explanation.

There’s actually four faces and two heels in this match, which is odd indeed. This was during the time where Vince came up with the BRILLIANT, YES BRILLIANT I SAY idea of unifying the midcard titles with the singles titles, so for about eight months there was no Intercontinental belt. Kane was the last champion before losing it to HHH a month or so prior to this, which I guess is why he’s in here. Shawn is fourth, to a solid pop.

He’s wearing brown tights. Yes I said brown. Two things about his entrance: JR says who else could this be? Well JR I don’t think Shawn sings anyone else’s music so I’d guess it’s him. Also, Fink introduces him as HBK: Shawn Michaels. I’ve never heard him called that. Ross is mentioning all of the wrestlers’ records at this show. Kane is 4-1 and Shawn is 5-5. Dang that’s a lot of Survivor Series appearences.

That leaves us with RVD vs. HHH to start, which sounds like a bad recipe for alphabet soup. Flair cheated RVD out of his title match at Unforgiven, so this is technically his rematch. Allegedly the chamber weighs ten tons. I could see it being 9.97 tons but not ten, there’s just no way. Flair is with HHH as that little thing called Evolution is on the horizon. In an interesting stat, HHH is 0-6 coming into this Survivor Series.

That’s quite surprising and a stat like the Streak that just kind of sneaks up on you. Yeah Evolution debuted February 3, 2003, which was my 15th birthday for those KB enthusiasts out there. There’s the bell and we’re on. Or is it off? For the absolute life of me, I don’t get why Vince refused to push RVD. Madison Square Garden is cheering for him so loudly that it’s hurting my ears. But since he’s from ECW, that’s the only reason he’s being cheered. It couldn’t be talent or anything like that.

Less than a minute in, they’re out on the area between the pods outside of the ring. This really is a cool looking structure. We have our first bloodshed inside of two minutes. With HHH on the cage floor, Van Dam does Rolling Thunder through the ring and then over the top. That was very sweet looking. Van Dam is beating the tar out of HHH here. He goes to climb one of the pods but Jericho literally pulls him partially into it, getting his leg inside. That was cool looking.

They beat on each other some more, which is the polite way to say that Van Dam is massacring him, as Jericho is the third man in. After some generic fast paced stuff, we get what’s likely he most famous spot of the match, as Van Dam jumps at Jericho but instead of hitting him, grabs onto the cage in mid air, sticking to it “like Spiderman” as everyone on the planet said, but Ross gets credit for.

It gets more cheers from the crowd, but that doesn’t mean anything at all because Van Dam just isn’t capable of carrying a crowd, because they don’t know what they want as much as Vince does. We get another famous line as Ross says these men are playing Russian roulette with their careers. Jericho shouts that he’s the king of the world. I didn’t like him in Titanic and was glad when he sank.

Lawler points out that HHH craves to be champion. Wouldn’t that mean that he’s content at the moment? Booker is in third and also gets a big pop, but he couldn’t be champion either because HHH gets better heat than he gets pops, so naturally HHH has to go over him too.

As was mentioned in my Summerslam 2002 review, this was a period of time in HHH’s career where all the criticism of him comes from as he simply wouldn’t lose to anyone, no matter how big of a star they were unless their name was Shawn Michaels. Booker comes in and kicks everyone half to death but before he can go back for the other half, we have a Spinnerooni.

He and Van Dam go at it for a bit as we hear again about how Van Dam is like trying to pour smoke through a keyhole or whatever that expression is. Why do commentators always misuse the word literally? It’s really not that hard to get it right at all. Can Booker do anything other than kick people? That’s all he’s done in this match so far. RVD goes for the Five Star but goes up to the top of the pod and comes off with the splash, or at least he tries to.

The problem is the ceiling curves up to a point so there’s nowhere for him to jump, so more or less he falls on HHH. Van Dam’s leg lands on HHH’s throat and we go to a wide shot so we won’t see the referee throwing up the X. It was legit, so Booker hits a top rope dropkick (shocking isn’t it?) for the pin on Van Dam as HHH tries to breathe. He would have to take some time off because of that injury actually, so it was kind of serious.

The fans boo Van Dam’s elimination out of the building, but he’s not over at all because Vince has decided he’s not, and Vince is never wrong, right? Jericho and Booker try to buy HHH some more time by chopping the heck out of each other.

Kane brings some needed fresh blood into this match. This was probably the hottest period of his career other than his debut, and if they were ever going to put the belt on him, it likely should have come around this time, maybe in the spring after Mania. Alas, it would never happen and ONCE AGAIN they just turned him into a monster with nothing even remotely resembling direction of any sort. I hate that.

The guy is a former world champion, he’s big, he’s strong and he’s over, but we can never put the belt on him. Guys like RVD and Booker are both incredibly popular here, but neither would get the belt for almost five years from this point, or six years after they debuted. Benoit wouldn’t get the title for over four years and the same was true for Eddie. However, someone like Brock or Taker can come in and within a year be world champion.

It continues the long running theory I have: if Vince didn’t create them, he’s not going to push them. That’s why it annoys me when we see guys like Santino and Hornswoggle on TV all the time. Vince created them, so he’s going to push them down our throats until they get over or we stop complaining about them.

Instead of putting someone from outside of the company or someone that came up with the gimmick on their own that’s actually interesting, we get stupid things like Cedric the Entertainer and Al freaking Sharpton. Oh yeah Vince, keep up that in touch booking that you just love to do. And people wonder why the company nearly died in 2003. Anyway, Kane uses his standard stuff to beat on Jericho and Booker for awhile as HHH is still down.

Jericho starts another bad tradition in gimmick matches by being the first person to be thrown through the “bulletproof” glass. I can’t stand when they overhype stuff like that and then just completely destroy the mystique of the thing. In reality, Jericho would be cut to pieces here and likely in need of a hospital. He’s bleeding to an extent, but it’s far from horrible.

HHH is back up as Jericho, who isn’t dead, gets rid of Booker with the Lionsault after about a minute of rest. Jericho tries to climb a pod and you can hear Kane say where are you going Chris as he grabs him and pulls him down. That’s just creepy. As has been the custom we have two guys fighting and the other two are down. That’s kind of cheap but I can see why they have to do it. Actually I can’t. Why not have more violence?

If Jericho can get up after being thrown through “bulletproof” glass, then the whole pain thing is no big deal. The interval between Kane and Shawn is longer than five minutes to give him less time in the ring I guess. He comes in to a long but not very loud at all pop. Kane takes him down with a clothesline though, so that takes care of that. Never mind as he’s back up. Michaels isn’t quick but he’s sudden. I’ve heard that about a dozen times and have no clue what it means.

Ross lives in his own little world most of the time and I really don’t want to be there. Kane chokeslams everyone but doesn’t cover any of them because that would make sense, and we can’t have any of that of course. He goes to tombstone HHH but is shoved into Sweet Chin Music. He sits up and gets a Pedigree and the Lionsault ends him to get us down to three guys. What follows is more or less just the two of them beating the tar out of Shawn and making him bleed badly.

They also work on Shawn’s back a lot, which at least makes sense. Hey, did you know Shawn has wrestled once in almost five years because he broke his back? I wasn’t sure if you knew that this is Shawn’s second match in almost five years because he broke his back. I just wanted to make sure that it was known that this is Shawn’s second match in almost five years because he broke his back.

Shawn makes a small comeback but gets dropped on the cage floor to end that one. Shawn nips up only to be knocked back down again, which is one of the fastest pops and ending of a pop I’ve ever heard. He kicks out of the Lionsault and you already know the ending, but you don’t want to believe that it’s possible HBK winning the title really would have been a mind blowing thing as he had just come back and it was really considered a short term thing.

Jericho hooks the Walls, but HHH breaks them up for no apparent reason and they start going at it. They beat on each other for awhile so Shawn can rest a bit. I’m fine with that as he has very limited cardio at this point more than likely. Jericho hooks the Walls on HHH but gets his head kicked off and it’s one on one for the title, and all of a sudden it’s possible. HHH uses the spinebuster, which I don’t think had a name when Anderson used it.

I think I remember it being called the Anderson Drop at one point, which I kind of like. Did he really invent that move? If he did, that’s quite cool. Naturally HHH beats on Shawn even more with a focus on his back. Despite being introduced earlier as HBK, Ross says he’s no longer the Heart Break Kid. Is there a reason for that? To further complete the likelihood that Shawn will win the title, he gets launched through the bulletproof, yes I said bulletproof glass.

Despite being nearly murdered, he keeps fighting. There comes a point where things just get stupid. Also, credit should go to HHH for staying in this, but I don’t get why he stayed in there if he was hurt, given the ending, but whatever. Shawn catapults HHH into the cage to get another break as the fans are in this to an extent but I think they’re just spent at this point as we’re at about thirty seven minutes at this point. For the thousandth time, Shawn has heart. Note to JR: WE GET IT!

In a flat out DUMB looking spot, Shawn goes to the top rope and literally just stands there for a few seconds, not even looking at HHH. HHH clearly gets up, but Shawn goes to the top of the pod behind him and HHH LAYS BACK DOWN to get the elbow. Ok, I get that it’s staged and everything, but give me a break. At least get kicked or something before you go down. That’s just freaking idiotic.

If nothing else it got the fans into it again for a bit, but at this point I think they know what’s coming here. Those brown tights are just moronic looking. Was there some massive joke about wardrobe tonight or something that was preplanned? Between Show and HBK I feel like I’m watching a bad Christmas play put on by an elementary school.

To further stupefy this match, Shawn kicks out of the freaking Pedigree. Ok, that’s it. This is freaking absurd. Ok, I get that Shawn is a big star. I get that Shawn is one of the biggest stars of all time. I get that his comeback here is something that is very impressive.

But to do this now with HHH giving him not one but TWO massive rubs that A, Shawn doesn’t need and B, someone, ANYONE of the other four guys in this match could have made a career out of is without a doubt the most self centered, egotistical thing that I can ever remember seeing. I know he’s a bit better about it now, but this is just more HHH nonsense. If you want to give Shawn the title for the nostalgic run, fine, but blast it give someone else a freaking rub!

Don’t make it look like Shawn, who at this point is a has been off the street (He hadn’t wrestled or trained hardcore in YEARS at this point so he’s starting completely from scratch) is able to not only beat HHH once, but get through Kane, RVD, Booker and Chris freaking Jericho to do it? Are you telling me that you consider them that low on the totem pole Vince?

Yes, Shawn is a bigger star than every single one of them, but to say that he could beat them all in his second match in four and a half years based on sheer will and heart alone is as big of a slap in the face as you can give to those four men that are working so hard and getting FAR bigger pops than Shawn has gotten all night long.

Shawn comes in LAST and lays around getting beaten on for most of the match and really just doing jack in this match other than with HHH, so let’s reward him with the belt and another title reign that means nothing while everyone else that goes out there and works to have a good match and get the audience into the show, a.k.a. CARRYING THE MATCH, is just built up to be eventually fed to, you guessed it, HHH.

Of those four guys, let’s see what they would go on to do after this. Booker: feud with HHH, get massive pops, have the best run of his life, and then job to HHH at Mania in a throwaway match. Kane: fed to Batista, ANOTHER musclehead that couldn’t do a thing back then. Jericho; fed to Shawn in a good feud. RVD: nothing.

With no IC title to hunt for because HHH has to be CHAMPION OF THE WORLD, RVD just kind of floated around for awhile until getting a tag team with Kane that won the pointless tag belts. Shawn and HHH, who were doing WONDERS for the ratings, (as in taking them to levels of low not seen this millennium) would keep feuding over the belt before HHH fought ANOTHER muscle guy in Scott Steiner for two months in what are considered to be two of the worst matches of all time.

All the while, Benoit and Angle and Lesnar would be having some of the best matches in years on Smackdown and getting NO recognition for it, because they weren’t named Shawn and HHH. I can certainly see where the hate for HHH came from back in the day, as this was nothing but an ego play on his and Shawn’s part. They just HAD to be the center of attention again because they think it’s 1997 again, and Shawn still can’t draw.

Instead of letting guys like Van Dam or Booker or Benoit or Angle, the guys that are getting pops and having great matches, carry the company, we get more “nostalgia” moments that no one wants to see because HHH and Shawn want to clutch to their old spots, and even today, eight days before the Hell in a Cell PPV, they’re still doing it. I really hate them both at this moment, but that’ll pass in awhile. As for the match, Shawn gets up and counters another Pedigree for the kick and the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Despite my longest rant ever here, this was a good match. I HATE the way they decided to end it, but the match and the drama were there. The intervals between eliminations were all relatively long with the shortest being like seven minutes or so, which I like.

It makes it seem like these people are hard to eliminate, which is the point of the match. The wrestling is there, but this is a long match. Next year’s would be too short though, so around thirty minutes is where this needs to go. This was good though, despite my own bias about it.

Overall Rating: B-. As I read on another review of this show, the wrestling is good, the booking is bad. I don’t like using the same conclusions I found somewhere else, but that’s exactly right. The wrestling here really is solid, but the Guerreros, Big Show and Shawn winning just don’t work for me, plain and simple. Luckily for the two singles titles, they only lasted for a month as both changed hands again at Armageddon.

This is a different kind of show, similar to maybe the Rumble with everything leading up to one major match, which is ok I guess. I could easily see some people being bored out of their minds here while others love every second of it. Go find a copy of the tag title match but I’d only watch the first fall as it’s some of the most entertaining stuff you’ll ever find. If you’re a fan of HHH and HBK, you’ll love the main event and vice versa. Overall, it’s good but not great, so I’ll recommend it with an asterisk.

Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Bank Garden Arena, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well we’ve finally, and I do mean FINALLY arrived.  This is the first 40 man Rumble and while I’m still not behind the idea it could be good I guess.  There are only 4 matches tonight: the Rumble, a Divas match and the two world titles.  It should be fun as WWE has been on a straight up roll recently.  Let’s get to it.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Edge

 

Well you can’t say they’re going easy to start.  And Edge’s pyro doesn’t go off.  Remember that the Spear is banned here and if Edge uses it then Ziggler loses the world title.  Vickie comes out to do the intro and tries to start a Spear chant which is kind of funny.  We get big match intros too which is always nice.  Lawler: “Ziggler is just like Santa Claus.  Everywhere he goes he takes that old bag with him.”

Dang Edge goes from winning the match to starting the show the next year.  Quite a drop…yet he has a title here.  I love logic or whatever you call it in wrestling.  Striker is doing a great job of tossing softballs up for King to get good lines off of.  Lawler has always been a guy that needs someone to set him up but once he gets a start he’s fine.

Edge controls a lot early on with some basic stuff.  We hit the floor and it’s all Edge.  Ziggler gets a kick to the side of Edge’s head as they come back in to get his first advantage.  Off to a chinlock now as the LET’S GO EDGE chant gets going.  Sunset flip is blocked for two.  More chinlock and this time a longer version of it.  Big elbow drop gets two.

Dolph gets a running charge to send Edge out to the floor and into the barricade.  Back in that gets two.  Hey look it’s a chinnlock!  Edge fights up and a double cross body puts both guys down.  Stinger Splash in the corner misses by Zigs.  Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral into a Stunner for two.  Edge counters the Fameasser into a sitout powerbomb for two.

Uncharacteristically for Edge he goes up top but Ziggler beats him to the punch.  Cross body off the top is rolled through for a VERY close two by Ziggler.  Dropkick gets two on Edge.  Zig Zag is blocked and Edge busts out the Edgecator (modified Sharpshooter) for two.  Edge misses a charge at the ropes and the Fameasser hits for two.

Big Boot puts Ziggler down and Edge sets for the Spear in the corner.  Vickie like an idiot, yells at him to not do it.  Ziggler wants the sleeper but gets caught in the Edgecution but Vickie grabs the referee.  She and Edge get into it and Kelly of all people comes out to beat on Vickie.  As Edge is watching the catfight a Zig Zag gets two and that more or less seals the ending here.

Dolph gets the sleeper and Edge is fading fast.  Oh of course he fights it off.  He manages to get a big jawbreaker out of it instead and down goes the referee.  Vickie is down as well so there’s the Spear.  Edge pulls an Eddie and lays down too.  Cole: SOMEONE HAD TO SEE THAT!  He’s totally right you know.  Edge uses an Unprettier of all things to end it.

Rating: A-. This was a solid back and forth match, but I really don’t like the Spear in there.  Striker calls it the Unprettier which is supposed to be the Killswitch I believe?  Anyway this was a very good match with Ziggler getting some very close near falls out there.  It’s your regular Rumble match that had a challenger who simply wasn’t going to win but Dolph looked great.  Very good opener indeed.

Mania is 63 days away!  Naturally we have the Chamber in there which is going to take away a lot of that time.

We recap Miz vs. Orton which goes back to Miz cashing in.  That’s still sweet and was perfectly done.  DEMON CHILD!!!  Also Miz beat the tar out of Orton on Raw.

Miz and Riley say Miz will win and insult Boston.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. The Miz

 

Cole talks throughout the WHOLE entrance and then in the ring he says that this is a big match for Miz.  Thanks for clearing up that defending the world title on PPV against one of the biggest stars of all time is a big match.  Miz chant to start as it’s all Orton early on.  Back in the ring as Orton stomps away and Lawler and Cole get into it as always.  I’m still thinking that results in a Mania match which it should.  Lawler deserves a match at Mania.

Orton beats him down in the corner and Cole says this is unfair to him.  Nice flashback to Heenan in 92.  Riley interferes and here comes the Champion.  Orton fights back but misses a charge in the corner to give Miz the advantage back.  The Miz is a Triple crown winner.  Let that sink in for a bit.  Ok he kind of is at least.  Corner clothesline gets two.  More beatdowns and a knee to the ribs get two.

Orton is able to get back in there with a kick and up the ropes we go.  Superplex gets two as Cole talks about Riley.  Elevated DDT is countered by a backdrop and we hit the floor again.  Back in Miz gets two.  Miz goes up and a double axe gets two.  He throws on a chinlock as it’s all champion here.  Back to the floor one more time and Orton eats the post.

He beats the count at 9 and the beating is on again but this time with Orton in control with the Thesz Press.  Powerslam sets up the stomping.  Orton sets for the powerbomb but Riley distracts him.  Miz gets that backbreaker/neckbreaker combo he’s been using lately for two.  Angle Slam hits so Miz wants to get the title and leave.  Instead Orton kills him with a clothesline.

Since we’re looking at a split screen replay we miss what Miz hits to get two out of nowhere on Orton.  Miz misses a kick and Orton grabs a rollup for two.  Elevated (called Suspension by Striker which works also) gets two.  He sets for the RKO and HERE THEY COME!  It’s the New Nexus minus Punk who stare down Orton.  As the referee is distracted Riley gets in and in an AWESOME spot, Orton picks up Riley and LAUNCHES him over the referee and onto Nexus.  Riley was AIRBORNE!  There’s the RKO but Punk runs in with a GTS and Miz retains!  Cole jumps up and down like a little girl in celebration.

Rating: B. Good match but definitely not as good as the previous one.  The thing is that with a show like the Rumble, everything besides the one big match is pure bonus.  The two title matches have been rather good so this show is already looking up.  This was very good stuff for the most part here which is pretty much expected.  If nothing else it gives us some new direction.  Not bad at all here and a pretty good match.

Cody Rhodes gives a prepared statement while we can’t see his face which is always funny.

Divas Title: Natalya vs. Laycool

 

Just before the match starts we get an E-Mail, making it a fatal fourway and he adds….Eve?  Uh…ok.  Oh and the GM makes fun of Cole and all the people that complain about him.  No tagging here of course.  There isn’t much to say here as it’s an insane spot fest for the most part.  Natalya gets the double Sharpshooter on Eve and Layla which is a great visual.  Layla gets the neckbreaker on Natalya.  There isn’t much to say here like AT ALL.  Michelle kicks Layla, Eve wins the title with a moonsault.  Natalya might have pinned Michelle at the same time.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad overall.  It was a mess of a Divas match which is bad as usually they have some good stuff going for them and certainly have been recently.  This was bad and it was the epitome of a bridge to the Rumble.  Speaking of which, let’s go to that.

Bellas/Gail/Bryan segment.  It’s stupid and the same thing from Monday but with the Bellas pretending to be nice with flowers.

Rumble By the Numbers.

Royal Rumble

 

Punk is #1 to the shock of no one, and to no one else’s shock, Corre has a member in at #2 but they all surround the ring.  Punk gets beaten down by everyone until Nexus comes down for the save.  Cole gets an E-Mail which says STOP IT!  Everyone but Punk has to leave and only Punk is in at the moment.  LOUD Punk chant and #2 is Bryan.  The IWC just orgasmed loudly.

Bryan speeds things up and takes Punk down with some nice shots.  It’s dueling chant time as Bryan hits the top rope dropkick.  In at 3 is Gabriel.  Gabriel beats Punk up with ease but misses the 450 and Bryan tosses Justin easily.  The timing is absurd already as you expected it to.  Number 4 is Zach Ryder.  He gets both guys down in the corner and manages to get a Rough Ryder on Punk.  Bryan throws him out with ease as I hope we’re not going the 95 route.

Regal is in at #5 and he cleans house which isn’t very dirty at this point.  Lots of suplexes all around.  Regal and Bryan slug it out with European uppercuts which surprisingly Bryan wins despite not being, you know, European.  Bryan kicks both guys with ease and we get #6 in the form of Ted DiBiase.  Backbreaker for Bryan and dropkicks to him and Regal.  Down goes Punk to the following clothesline.

Bryan vs. Regal and DiBiase vs. Punk for awhile which gets us nowhere.  Seventh is Morrison to a BIG pop.  Springboard kick puts Regal down and Morrison cleans house, including with his eternal rival in Punk.  C4 to Bryan.  I had Morrison as a dark horse but methinks that’s out the window.  He gets thrown by DiBiase but lands on the apron.  Morrison gets launched to the railing and GRABS THE WALL like freaking Spiderman, climbs up to the apron, tightrope walks it to the steps and gets back in.  Ladies and gentlemen, that is not going to be topped tonight.

Tatsu is #8 and he does nothing at all.  Ninth is Husky Harris.  Regal went out somewhere in there that I missed when I was dying from Morrison’s wall grab.  Harris immediately gets in front of Punk for defense so Morrison and Bryan try to kill him.  He’s 23 and the youngest person in this Rumble.  That’s rather impressive.  We get to ¼ of the way through this with Chavo.

Seven people in there now as Gabriel, Ryder and Regal have been eliminated so far.  Three Amigos to DiBiase but Punk cuts him off.  And never mind as he takes three of his own.  Punk’s get broken up so it’s suplex time to Morrison.  Here are some for Bryan as well.  He must have done ten suplexes in like 30 seconds.  This is kind of cool actually.  FINALLY he gets the third in a row.

Number 11 is Mark Henry to clear out some dead weight.  There go Chavo and Tatsu.  Punk beats Henry down a bit as it’s time for JTG to be #12.  This portion of the Rumble brought to you by not Michael Hayes.  JTG, Henry, Punk, Harris, DiBiase, Morrison and Bryan in there at the moment.  Hey I’ve actually got this up to date!  Number 13 is Michael McGillicutty to give Punk some backup.

Punk tells him to HURT EVERYBODY.  There goes JTG as we’re getting a bit cluttered here.  Granted a lot of that is Henry and the midcard is well represented.  Harris and McGillicutty put out DiBiase to make room for Masters at 14.  Masterlock to Punk but he can’t get him out as McGillicutty makes the save.  Bryan hammers on Masters as #15 is Otunga.  That makes four members counting Punk in there at the moment.

Bryan is out almost immediately and Masters joins him soon.  Nexus cleans house and gets Morrison out too.  Over to Henry now and yep he’s gone too.  Just Nexus left in the ring now.  Tyler Reks is the sacrificial lamb at #16.  How long can he be unknown for?  There he goes of course.  So are we just waiting on Cena now?  I think that’s pretty clear.  In at 17 is Kozlov who has history here.

Why not just wait on the floor and wait for like five people to get together to at least have even odds?  Vladimir is out with ease.  Punk gets all meditational on us and it’s Truth in as the Rumble is now legal.  Striker agrees with the whole wait it out.  This is a great way to run through some of the weaker guys though.  Punk gets the corner clothesline and bulldog.  In between, he looks at the camera and raises the roof shouting WHAT’S UP in a sarcastic voice.  Funny stuff.

Truth is gone.  And here’s trouble in the form of the Great Khali.  He chops them all down and gets rid of Harris to break up this blockade.  GET BETH PHOENIX STAT!  Naturally in next is Mason Ryan (20).  India vs. Wales goes to the darker skinned ones until Ryan gets him out.  BOOKER T IS NUMBER 21!!!!!  SCREW YOU MAIN EVENT MAFIA!!!!!  Epic pop for him too and Booker looks awesome.

Kicks all around and a Book End to McGillicutty.  SPINAROONI!  SPINAROONI!  OH MY GOODNESS A SPINAROONI!  Punk charges but Ryan makes the save.  Booker is out but that was insanely awesome.  My screen froze on Booker’s eyes bugging out.  You knew it was coming.  John Cena is in next and the fight is on.  He takes everyone down with basic moves and there goes Ryan to a low bridge.  Otunga and McGillicutty to a double clothesline and it’s down to Cena and Punk!

Cena charges into a corner elbow but Punk can’t get GTS.  Double clothesline puts both men down ala Hogan and Warrior in 1990.  Number 23 is…..it’s Hornswoggle.  The look on Punk’s face is hilarious.  More or less it says “no…..freaking….way.”  Punk gets up and drills Horny but goes after Cena instead.  FU TO PUNK AND HE’S OUT!  Cena is left with Horny as #24 is Tyson Kidd.  Headscissors to Kidd by Horny sets up an FU and there he goes.  Ok no he doesn’t yet as Horny wants to do it.  Horny gives him an FU and there goes Kidd.

Twenty fifth is Slater who takes a low blow from Horny and a super Stunner which actually looked pretty cool.  Double You Can’t See Me.  Tadpole Splash and there goes Slater.  It’s Kofi Kingston at 26 and this could be awesome.  Cool moment as they stare down and look at the Mania sign.  I totally buy Kofi as a threat to Cena here which is a very good sign.  Kofi beats on him a bit but it’s really a standoff.  Swagger is 27^th and takes down the weakened guys.

Vader Bomb to Cena and one for Kofi as well.  And now….dude go for the midget already.  Swagger goes after Horny but Kofi kills Jack with a cross body.  Double Boom Drop as Horny is a bridge for Kofi to jump off of.  28 is SHEAMUS.  Oh yes.  This guy is a, and I will never ever say this again, a dark horse to win this.  Sheamus cleans house and goes after Horny.  Cena saves him AGAIN and it’s another Tadpole Splash coming.  Never mind actually as Sheamus KICKS HIM IN THE HEAD to eliminate him.

Rey is #29.  We have Kofi, Cena, Swagger, Sheamus and Rey in there at the moment.  Trouble in Paradise to Sheamus but Swagger takes him down.  Rey was on the corner and Swagger tries the running belly to belly.  Rey ducks and knocks him to the apron and a 619 takes him out.  Barrett is 30 as this is FLYING by.  Wasteland to Kofi is blocked by a kick to the knee by Rey.

Cena vs. Barrett goes to Wade in the form of a Boss Man Slam.  That could so be a finisher for someone.  Maybe Ryan?  The first #31 in history is Dolph Ziggler???  Oh crap man, that could be a shock.  He hammers away on Sheamus as Barrett is in trouble.  Dolph, Sheamus, Barrett, Kofi, Cena and Rey at the moment.  Cena is in trouble and the crowd reacts BIG.

32 is DIESEL????  OH WOW!  The crowd pops HUGE.  I can’t get used to hearing him called Diesel.  Drew is 33^rd.  Nash looks kind of awesome in there.  Drew and Sheamus hammer down Diesel who is all of a sudden getting a HUGE chant!  Dude sign this guy up!  619 to Diesel which I can’t believe I just typed.

34^th is….the Miz???  Oh wait it’s Riley.  He slides in and Cena just drills him.  Striker got cut off mid sentence in a laugh.  Barrett puts  Diesel out.  ANOTHER big Diesel chant as he leaves.  Miz sits in on commentary for a bit.  Big Show is number 35 and it’s time to clear out some guys.  Show and Diesel look at each other.  Oh dang there’s some history there.  The Celts jump Show as he comes in which doesn’t go well for the UK guys.

Miz sounds like he has a cold.  There goes Ziggler at the hands of Show.  I want to know who #40 is.  36 is Big Zeke.  Uh oh.  Show puts Drew out.  Zeke puts Show down and OUT on his own!  There are four entrants left.  Who isn’t out here yet?  Rey, Zeke, Cena, Kofi, Barrett and Sheamus at the moment.  Santino is 37^th and gets a solid pop.  He goes right at Sheamus of all people.  And now he goes for Zeke who growls at him.

Santino gets knocked to the floor under the bottom rope.  Alberto is 38 and I completely forgot about him.  Ricardo does the intro!  No one else has gotten an intro but no one else is Alberto Del Rio.  Del Rio takes his sweet time and isn’t in before Orton is 39^th.  ONE MORE TO GO!  RKO to everyone and there goes Kofi.  Sheamus is out too as is Drew.  And then, it’s Cena vs. Orton.  The crowd just went SILENT and in the awesome way I mean.

They stare it down with the Mania sign between them and there’s the clock.  And it’s Kane.  Uh, kind of anti-climactic but ok.  So it’s Kane, Cena, Orton, Santino, Rey, Del Rio and I think that’s it.  I likely left someone out though.  Oh and Zeke and Barrett.  Zeke beats up Kane with relative ease after Kane cleans some house.  There goes Zeke.  Ok now we’re down to Barrett, Kane, Cena, Orton, Rey and Del Rio.  Kane is put out by Rey!  Barrett puts out Rey!  I LOVE YOU BARRETT!!!

Final four are Barrett, Orton, Cena and Del Rio.  Cena and Del Rio are in trouble but both hang on.  Randy and John (sounds weird calling it that) stare it down again to another hush.  There they go with the punches.  Both finishers miss as FU is broken up by Barrett for no apparent reason.  Maybe he’s the new Corre member?  Del Rio vs. Cena and Barrett vs. Orton at this point.

FU to Del Rio but here comes Riley again for no adequately explained reason.  MIZ ELIMINATES CENA!!!  LET THE INTERNET ERUPT!!!  Blast it not Orton again.  Is Santino still in?  Orton busts out a bunch of his basic stuff and there goes Barrett!  DEL RIO PUTS OUT ORTON TO WIN THE ROYAL RUMBLE!!!  Wait Santino is back!  COBRA!!!  THEY WOULDN’T!!!!!  Oh thank goodness Del Rio threw him out to officially end it.

Rating: A. I was wrong.  I thought this would be overblown but it felt more epic this way.  HUGE props to WWE for putting someone new in there.  That is absolutely huge for WWE as they are actually giving someone the huge push and the momentum to do it with.  He’s a glorified midcarder and he won.  This is exactly what they needed to do with this and it worked wonderfully.  Mania has matches set up for it now and we got some great surprises.  Epic Rumble although maybe just a step beneath next year.  GREAT ending though.

Overall Rating: A. This was a great show indeed.  The Divas match was the only bad thing all night and on a card with four matches you can’t argue that in the slightest.  They’re setting Mania up very early this year and that’s nothing but good.  This was a great show as WWE now has two big wins in a row.  I’m freaking pumped up for Mania now as this was great stuff indeed.  Loved it and bring on Elimination Chamber baby!

Royal Rumble 2010
Date: January 31, 2010
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

First off, love that announcing trio. Having 6 guys was WAY too much for PPVs. I’m excited for this Rumble. Yes the title matches are easy to see, but that doesn’t mean they’ll be bad. Sometimes you need predictable matches and this is one of them. The matches look good on paper and the build was all there. The Rumble winner is pretty up in the air actually. That being said the show is starting so it’s time to shut up. Actually it isn’t but you get the point.  Let’s get to it.

The video is what you would expect: a look back. Basic but well done as usual.

ECW Title: Ezekiel Jackson vs. Christian

They’ve built this up great as it finally feels like the night Christian is going down. I’m not so sure though. Jackson is a freaking scary man indeed. My stream is very choppy so this is kind of like a fast moving slide show mixed with good audio. There goes Regal after a few minutes. Striker talks too fast at times. Cole sounds sick or something. We hit the formula based stuff which is likely the best way to do this.

Since Jackson is still limited in the ring, it’s probably best to have him be carried by the far more experienced and better Christian. We’re in our second chinlock of the match already. Seriously Striker: CALM DOWN! Christian hits the jumping reverse elbow making him awesome. And then he does those stupid claps to take that away. “Hmm, I have him down and I’ve walked around in a circle so he doesn’t know where he is.

I’ll clap since that doesn’t give him a tip at all.” Jackson hits a big clothesline and we get LARIOTO from Striker. Jackson is really limited. Like Monty Brown levels of limited. I love that slingshot kick that Christian does in the corner. Why should I care about who last won the title where? No one says a word and Striker says nothing? That’s very amusing. Sleeper time. And there’s the Killswitch out of freaking nowhere for the pin. What the heck was that???

Rating: C+. This was your run of the mill big man vs. little man and the more I think about it the more I like the ending. Christian couldn’t hang with Zeke going head to head so he stopped trying to and got a quick win. I actually like that one.

Cryme Tyme both want to be in the Rumble but only one spot is available. Apparently they’ve managed to trade Khali’s spot for a kiss from Tiffany. Apparently not. Gender stereotype humor fails and Khali imitates Urkel. Shad is almost able to look eye to eye with Khali. This is stupid on so many levels. Miz comes in and Teddy, who has no authority on this show, makes the US Title match.

Rhodes sucks up to Orton and throws Ted under the bus. I’d bet on the same thing happening later with Ted,

US Title: MVP vs. The Miz

Talk about two guys that have gone in completely opposite directions. Miz used to look like a joke and is now awesome and MVP used to look awesome and now is a borderline joke. Something tells me he’s winning tonight though. MVP was US Champion what, back in 2007 and he’s still in the same place how long later? There’s a big MIZ IS AWESOME chant. Or was it AWFUL? Either one is a good sign.

MVP is all over him to start which points to Miz hanging onto the belt. Ok, we get it: MVP hung out with some chick from The View. It means nothing at all. Ah there we go. Miz is back now. He’s grown more than anyone else I’ve ever seen in the past two years. We get it also: MVP used to be in prison. Let it die already. MVP is just a failure as a face. His character is designed to be a heel but we can’t have street wise heels that look like stereotypes of course.

Ok, so MVP hits a face crusher and literally 12 seconds later the Ballin Elbow hits. Are we supposed to believe that Miz isn’t going to get up in that amount of time? Seriously? There’s a Pounce from MVP and called so much by Striker. Oh, period. Wouldn’t want to forget that.

I actually don’t know who’s going to win here which is rare in matches like these but it’s a nice plus. And Miz hits a rollup as MVP is getting back in for the pin. And that’s what he needs: wins, even by fluke, that are clean. MVP attacks him after the match and is heavily booed. Please let that be a heel turn. Cole implies it’s not.  Blast it.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all. The ending was great here as it literally came out of nowhere. Miz needs more wins like these but it gives him more and more credibility every time which is what his character needs at the moment. I haven’t seen them get a character’s development much better than his in a LONG time and I’m loving it.

Jericho and Show continue their bromance. R-Truth laughs at Jericho and says it’s every man for himself. It’s better than it sounds but it’s still dumb.

Orton is walking. Yes indeed he is. And there’s Ted to say he’s here for him. No Cody in sight though and I was right with my prediction.

Ad for Raw. I love that they feel the need to advertise a show that you likely would have had to see in order to buy this show.

Soldiers are here. Oh they’re from the National Guard.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

And the champion comes out first for no apparent reason. Sheamus is another character that has gotten a solid push from nowhere and I’m liking it. It’s working bette than Bradshaw’s when they did the same thing and I think that’s because there’s nothing of his past to compare it to. Bradshaw had nothing to go off of in the main event either but we had known him for years and he sucked. Orton gets a bit of a pop.

Please: give him a face title run. It could work. A heel vs. heel title match isn’t something I would have guessed on but it should be awesome. I’m pulling for the Irish dude just to prevent anything resembling Orton vs. HHH or Cena again. We get the big match intros too. Orton gets a straight up face pop. Sheamus gets heat but it’s mild. Still though, likely his best ever. It’s weird seeing Orton not being taller.

Sheamus is getting a bit of heat here. I like it. MASSIVE Randy chant. The fans Vince. LISTEN TO THEM. Yep, he’s wrestling life a face too. Sheamus is dominating here as he should. I’m glad they never went anywhere with the kick he gave Lawler. Orton goes for the knee which makes a lot of sense here. There has been talk of Sheamus holding the belt until Mania. I like it. We’ve begged for a new main event guy and we’ve gotten one.

Giving him a long reign is making him far more credible as a champion and main event player. It’s a brilliant move and I think it’s working. Orton STAYS ON THE KNEE! Oh blessed psychology how I love you! Sheamus works on the arm of all things. It’s different if nothing else. There’s the boo/yay thing. Fans are more or less completely behind Orton which is something Vince needs to listen to.

Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge but his knee gives out. See what psychology can do for you? Orton hits that elevated DDT that is varying degrees of awesome. They’re trying so hard to have him be heel in this and it’s failing epically. The Punt, which again is more of a freaking place kick but what do I know. Vince started the XFL so obviously he’s smarter than I am. It misses of course because that never hits on PPV for some reason.

Oh wait forgot HIAC. There’s likely a reason for that one. Rhodes runs in and attacks Sheamus but the RKO hits, meaning Sheamus keeps the belt. YES! Came out of nowhere but whatever. The fans are calling for the RKO on Rhodes but they settle for a choke instead. Ted comes down and gets that whipping. Grr and there goes the stream again! Orton more or less fires them, HOPEFULLY turning face. And Sheamus kicks Orton in the head and everyone leaves him there. Not bad at all.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The psychology was all working here and it played into the match later on which is nice. The DQ ending kind of sucked as I would have preferred Sheamus to get a pin but this worked just fine I think. Legacy is FINALLY over though which is the far more important thing.

We recap Mickie vs. McCool which is by far the best build to a match I’ve seen in a women’s match in years . It’s even better than the Mark Henry vs. Viscera match. Short version: McCool and Layla were saying that Mickie was fat and it led to this. It’s a lot better than it sounds, trust me.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool

I’m actually pumped for this thing if you can believe that. Odds are it’s going to suck but whatever. The video had Beth in it which implies she’ll be here tonight. Sweet goodness change Michelle’s music. I freak can’t stand it. McCool cuts a bad promo before the match. Mickie isn’t here apparently?

And here’s Layla in the fat suit. This was stupid Friday but cute I guess and now…never mind as Mickie is here. And it’s a 20 second match as Mickie freaking murders her. Ok then. And they bring out food and poor it on the heels. Good to know.

Rating: N/A. Not sure if I like this or not. Mickie dominating is good as it ends this quickly, but it feels flat otherwise. I think I like it though. Yeah let’s go with that.

Ad for Elimination Chamber. Yeah nothing says SPECIAL gimmick match more than two in one night baby!

We recap Rey vs. Taker, which more or less is Rey won a contender’s match and then Batista is a whiny man. Something tells me that’s your ending because he has muscles and therefore he’s a good wrestler, at least in Vince’s eyes.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Rey Mysterio

They call this the biggest match in Rey’s career. Yep, far bigger than winning the title at Mania I’m sure. As bad as a champion that he is, that belt looks awesome on Taker’s waist. More big match intros which while they’re usually good, they kind of don’t work for Taker for some reason. This is likely to rock or suck with no real in between. This is like a wet dream for Vince: both guys are big faces so why wouldn’t this work?

Taker at 299 pounds sounds odd for some reason. Rey gets freaking launched to the floor but lands on his feet. Nice indeed. Taker has done maybe two moves and he’s put Rey on the floor twice. This is all Taker so far. Thankfully the 619 misses. Taker goes for the Tombstone but Rey uses the ancient Chinese principle of kicking his feet to get out of it. Taker of course messes up his knee because that’s all he can do in most matches anymore.

His hip is in a lot of legit pain at this point so it’s likely not a ton of acting. We get the Asai Moonsault for the Japanese fans out there. Taker’s chest looks the same as Michelle’s used to look like. I wonder if they got them done in the same place? They seem like they’re killing time, which screams BATISTA to me.

Surprisingly enough though it doesn’t come as Taker just more or less casually hits the Last Ride after countering a flippy. Where’s Norcal when I need him? Oh yeah at a bar with muscle guys.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t thrilled here at all. The only good thing was that there was a clean ending which was my main concern here. It’s two more old guys in the main event but at least they’re popular so that’s all I can ask for. Not awful, but underwhelming.

Shawn and Kane talk. HHH and Shawn talk. Greatness personified.

I freaking LOVE that video package about the numbers.

Royal Rumble

Dolph Ziggler is first and Evan Bourne is second. Ok then. And the Zig Zag hits a few minutes in. He pulls a Davey Boy Smith though and doesn’t make sure he goes over. The Shooting Star hits and Punk is third. With the roll he’s been on lately he needs a LONG run here. He starts off hot by throwing out both guys and has time to cut a promo. The heat is there, the look is there and the ability is there.

He has to job to the old guys though right? Number four is one of Cryme Tyme. Oh it’s JTG. Please….make it quick. Hey I got my wish! It lasted just a few seconds as we get our second promo of the night. I love Punk in case I didn’t make that clear. Fifth is Khali. Don’t you freaking put Punk out to this imbecile! You know they will though. Please, sacrifice Serena or something. I beg of you Vince, use your freaking brain.

Nope, Punk gets his the beating. Oh I get it: Khali is a “fun” character so that makes the idiocy ok. He gets the vice but it doesn’t last long enough and…Beth Phoenix is 6th? Well ok then. It’s different if nothing else. Beth gets picked up and placed on the apron where she kisses Khali before ELIMINATING HIM!! Punk hits her with the GTS after a brief skirmish. Didn’t see this coming. Seventh is Zach Ryder. This is odd indeed.

Beth is odd as we get some awesome music from Ryder. Punk tries to recruit Ryder and then hits him to MASSIVE face pops. He’s alone again as this is awesome. It’s another promo. Kane or Show will put him out soon enough. He says he’s better than whoever is next and you can smell the elimination coming from here. And it’s HHH. Bye Punk. Have fun in the belly of HHH’s ego. His intro takes the better part of ever so at least he’s consistent.

Hey Punk actually lasts until McIntyre is 9th. And HHH puts out Punk to get his ego up again. Yep, can’t have these young talented and over guys taking the place of guys like HHH. HHH is called the future of the company. That’s a scary thought. DiBiase is 10th. We’re 1/3 of the way through this. Oh great. Morrison is 11th. Nothing of note is happening at all. McIntyre takes Starship Pain and here’s HHH to take his head off anyway.

Kane is 12th, To recap it’s HHH, Kane, DiBiase, Morrison and McIntyre in there at the moment. The IC Title boys take a double chokeslam and it’s all Kane meaning he’ll be out soon or last a long time. And HHH saves DiBiase. Ok then. I guess the whole end your career thing is forgives. Cody Rhodes comes up on the monitor and Striker says it must be Rhodes. What would we do without you Matty? Legacy dominates…kind of. Morrison is incredibly acrobatic.

Rhodes underrated in the ring. Striker says he’s the seed of the Dream. BAD IMAGE MAN! Kane of course is moving and Cole can’t tell McIntyre and HHH apart. MVP is 14th. Miz jumps him in the aisle and blasts him with the belt. Know what would be nice now? A shot of the ring. Oh there it is. Morrison hits a SICK springboard spinkick to the head of McIntyre. MVP is taken out as I’m pretty sure HHH is going to win here.

My guess is Shawn vs. HHH somewhere down the line because of Shawn’s incessant ego. Carlito is 15th and apparently he’s interesting. Yeah that’s nonsense if I’ve ever heard it. He hits a nice springboard reverse elbow to Legacy. That was nice. MVP will likely run in and attack Miz later. Nothing predictable at all there. HHH takes the Backstabber as do a lot of people. Holy crap he’s dominating. Sixteenth is Miz. Amazingly MVP doesn’t jump him. That’ll be next I guess.

The Skull Crushing Finale hits Carlito. The fans pop like a cherry pie for Miz vs. Morrison and here’s MVP to put himself and Miz out. Legacy has HHH in trouble and of course he doesn’t go out. Carlito hangs onto the rope and stays in. Number 17 is Matt Hardy to a huge pop. This crowd is awesome. To continue the trend he dominates and hits a bunch of people before Kane puts him out and Kane is out by HHH.

You really can see it coming. I hope I need glasses. Spinebusters all around. A hot crowd pops for him so that validates this I suppose. HBK is 18th and I think I feel a showdown of 1990 proportions coming. Rhodes and Carlito and DiBiase are gone. Ok we have Shawn, McIntyre, Morrison and HHH in there at the moment. Ok take out Morrison and the showdown is pretty clear.

Shawn has the second most eliminations in Rumble history apparently. Yep it’s showdown time and there’s the clock. It’ll be a jobber and…never mind it’s Cena. Vince the Survivor Series bombed with this main event so why wouldn’t this do it too? And of course he beats up DX. A double You Can’t See Me is booed to an extent. HHH stops an FU and takes a Pedigree AND HHH IS SUPERKICKED OUT OF THE MATCH! I am STUNNED as all goodness. TAKE THAT MELTZER!!!

Shelton is in now and I’m switching my bet to Cena. Shawn has put Shelton out like three years in a row or something. This is his eighth consecutive Rumble. Wow I wouldn’t have guessed that one. Cena ends Shawn’s streak and puts out Shelton. Holy Mania rematch Batman. Yoshi Tatsu is 21st. I like this guy for some reason. Of course Striker has a dumb name for him: the Poison Fist of the Pacific Rim. Cena dumps him in a few seconds and we’re back to Shawn and Cena.

Nothing overdone about that AT ALL is there? Ok Atlanta is allowed to do the WOOs. Big Show is 22nd. Show almost goes out but saves himself. Cena goes for an FU but it misses. Shawn has to skin the cat (what a name I tell you) because Chin Music misses. Mark Henry is 23rd. Well they’re having some big names in there at least. I still can’t get over HHH being out already. It’s a curveball if nothing else. Henry goes for a slam can can’t get it.

Why do I have a feeling he’s not the world’s strongest man? He gets the slam a bit later but then almost gets an FU. Masters is number 24. Have to have some jobbers I guess. He press slams Shawn and of course doesn’t throw him out. Instead he puts the Masterlock on Show and he gets tossed for it. Henry and Show go at it again as we have a clock. It’s R-Truth….AND HE PUTS OUT SHOW AND HENRY.

I guess there is a youth movement. It’s Truth, Cena and Michaels here. He shows his TNA connection by hitting Cena with the Stroke. The fans are chanting boring. This hasn’t been bad at all. Swagger is 26th as Norcal pops. This is his first Rumble. I wouldn’t have guessed that. Vader Bombs all around. NO! Stream went out! Never mind it’s back!

Kofi is 27th. There goes Truth. Jericho is 28th. Kofi put out Truth in case you were wondering. He follows that up by kicking the heck out of Shawn and then gets thrown by Cena. All three are down and here’s 29. HOLY CRAP IT’S EDGE! Ok it’s not really shocking but still cool moment. Oh yeah he’s a face. Just like he should be. Spears all around and we might not have a surefire winner now.

There goes Jericho and Edge is domination. Sweet the Edgecution is back! Fans are WAY into this. Shame Batista will be 30th. It would have made sense to just have it be Edge in at 30. Ok final four are Cena, Shawn, Batissta and Edge. Naturally Batista is dominating. Anyone of these guys could win. Edge spears him down and Cena FUs Edge so everyone is down. Shawn nips up to another great pop. That’s one of those moves that just plain works.

Shawn is dominating here and Striker screws up again by saying that Edge has had no vigor. Shawn is dominating here and this is exciting me. Cena gets kicked and si does Big Dave. Edge clotheslines Shawn to the apron and then gets superkicked back in. DAVE PUTS SHAWN OUT! The crowd just goes dead silent. That came from nowhere. This is wide open at this point. WOW I haven’t heard a crowd die like that ever.

That…might not have been what was supposed to happen. He goes nuts an goes back in, beating up referees. Could this be a Shawn HEEL TURN??? I certainly freaking hope so. More referees come down as Shawn looks freaking crushed. Striker says this is heartbreaking (no pun intended I’m sure) as he says Shawn has never achieved this. If he means beating Taker he’s an idiot. He’s also never achieved a good buyrate but we’ll ignore that.

Ok so it’s Edge, Batista and Cena. Cena reverses the Batista Bomb and Batista reverses the FU and there goes Batista! This would suggest Edge winning but I’m not so sure. He sets for the spear with those great visuals of his and it misses of course. Cena goes for a clothesline and EDGE WINS IT! YEAH!

Take that people screaming this was going to be predicable! Love that ending, even though it’s the same thing they did with Cena but not as exciting/sweet. This is what we needed too: a FRESH face that is going to get some POPS. Great move all around and a great Rumble match.

Rating: A. Very solid Rumble here. Edge winning was a very pleasant shock and I liked it a lot. They had the star power in there tonight and no Santino or Duggan or jokes like that who are just going to waste time and spots. The formula works great when it clicks and this was no exception. I was bored until HHH got dumped but it wasn’t awful before that. Once he’s gone though, it’s straight through the roof. Very good Rumble and likely in the top five ever of them.

Overall Rating: A-. I was going back and forth between B- and C+. The whole show was indeed nothing great, but there was nothing that bad really. The right people won, for the most part they won clean, Orton is a face…I think, Shawn is snapping, Legacy is OVER, and Edge is back as a top level face.

This was a very good show and if you want to say it was predictable, let me know so I can laugh at you. Fun show and worth checking out, just don’t expect a classic. Edited: what the heck am I thinking? This show was great. A-.

And so ends the history of the Royal Rumble.  I had fun doing this and I think I’ll be doing one off reviews now as it’s much easier and I can look around and have more fun and diversity with it. Anyway, thanks for reading. I appreciate it. I’ll be doing another of these for Wrestlemania so stay tuned.  Or logged or whatever the right term is.

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham

There are really no differences at all between this and what you see today other than a few face and heel changes. Everyone is here for the most part other than Christian I think. Yeah there’s just not much that’s changed since then other than DX reuniting. We have five matches tonight, one of which is the new Smackdown Champion Jeff Hardy in his first title defense against Edge, although someone has been trying to get him lately.

Also we have Cena defending against JBL in the token title match of the year. Other than that it’s just the Rumble which more or less was the most predictable match in history as all of one person was mentioned at all in the buildup to it. That being said, let’s get to it.

The opening video is the standard thing of all the Rumble winners and all of the logos but it’s cut off by Orton’s music and clips of him being a bastard to the insanely hot Stephanie. Vince gets kicked in the head to stun the crowd. Yeah, they’re not making it obvious at all who was going to win here.

The slow motion replay of the kick shows that it’s INSANE. There’s no pyro for the opening as it’s all serious and stuff. In other words, the fans get cheated to a special part of the show for Vince. Oh never mind there’s the pyro. Still kind of stupid though.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Jack was the undefeated rookie here, having won the title two and a half weeks ago. This is the mostly pointless rematch. Matt gets a great pop and I wonder why he’s never been pushed harder than he has been yet. It’s a shame that Swagger is being depushed, but to be fair tonight for the Little People Court Raw he had a good match with Cena so maybe the push is back. He has no pyro yet so that sucks. We even get the big match intros here.

Since it’s 2009, Swagger is a cowardly heel at the beginning. Hardy brawls for the most part as Striker points out that he can’t out wrestle him so why try? That’s a great point at least. We get a replay of a great right hand from Matt. That was sweet. Hardy is doing really well so you know how it’s going to end in case it wasn’t clear yet. Swagger works on the arm which is the one he uses for the Twist of Fate. I know because Striker told me.

See why he’s the best in the world today? Swagger is working the shoulder really hard here and uses some unique stuff, including a boot to the shoulder. That’s something I’ve seen a few times but rarely enough that it’s effective. I’m not sure if I like or dislike the big 2 signs in the front row for counts. They always disappear after the first match so I’m guessing someone takes it from them or they get tired of it.

Striker goes way too insane by saying who the last North Carolinian to win a world title in Detroit (Steamboat in 87). That’s saying a lot. This is a good match with a lot of close calls. They’re getting some time too so that helps a lot. Hardy goes into the post as it was already hurt. Swagger hits the powerbomb for the pin to retain and let us hear his awesome music. Hardy sits on the steps with his head in his hands. Remember that for later.

Rating: B. I really liked this. It was a decent length of about ten minutes and had a ton of close calls and near falls. The arm stuff was good and it played into the ending to give it some psychology. That gives it most of what makes a great match so this is easily solid for an opener.

Orton is here and no one is talking to him. They’re making this seem like the big deal that it’s supposed to be.

Raw Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Melina is gyrating like there’s no tomorrow and it’s working very well. Beth is with Santino here but it’s getting close to the end. Santina would be debuting soon enough to suck the life out of everything again. Beth is just freaking gorgeous. I love that backflip she does to get into the ring. Santino gets a massive chant, proving that no one cares about the women and care about comedy.

Thank you Vince for crippling wrestling and making the comedy more important. Beth very clearly calls a spot to Melina and then whips her in. Beth shows off her power by lifting Melina up with one arm. That’s just freaking scary. Beth’s thong is sticking out which is of course awesome. She gets a leg lock on Melina that’s in so deep that her foot is touching her head. That can’t feel good. Beth actually pulls the leg back to ram it into her head. FREAKING OW MAN!

They botch the heck out of something as Melina is trying to come back. Melina hits an INSANE move where she spins around Beth’s side to get the rollup for the title. That was awesome looking.

Rating: C-. There were far too many botches in there but the submission thing and the ending were both cool. It was your standard Diva match so that’s not saying a lot. Melina’s selling of her back was great here though and it helped the match a lot. Not bad, but still far from great due to the sloppiness. They had a submission match soon after this.

We recap the JBL vs. Cena feud, which is mainly about the JBL and HBK feud over the money or whatever. It was stupid and one of those “real” angles that never work for me. It’s like saying Shawn makes no money from wrestling or anything like that which is just ridiculous. Being conservative, let’s say Shawn makes a quarter million a year. That’s FAR more than enough to live a decent life, but he needs to be sold to JBL to make ends meet?

Shawn more or less lays down for JBL to get the pin. The problem that plagued this at the end was that it ended way too fast. It should have been at Mania instead of No Way Out. To be fair though, that wound up being the wrong choice as Shawn and JBL did what they should have done at Mania.

We see JBL and Shawn in the back and JBL says that if he wins tonight, Shawn is a free man and paid in full and can be in the Rumble. JBL leaves and Shawn looks in a mirror for awhile and then turns around to have Taker staring down at him. He says that sometimes you have to go through a lot to get to Heaven. Yeah they did the right thing.

Ad for Mania.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. John Cena

Cena was kind of casually mentioned in the package. Until the Taker cameo, I would have believed a title change here. The crowd is split on Cena as always. I would have actually believed them going with JBL vs. Shawn, but Taker switched me to reality. The idea here is that Cena is off his game because he has to keep his eye on Shawn. For instance, they’re on the floor and Cena ducks a clothesline but Shawn is in front of him and Cena gets ready to duck the superkick and JBL gets a shot in.

Never mind that the kick would have cost JBL the match but whatever. JBL had lost a bunch of weight at this point and actually looked like he was in very good shape. He lost probably 40 or 50 pounds and actually had a stomach. Shawn is more or less stoic on the floor. There’s a Ram Jam sign in the crowd, which is the finisher of the main character in The Wrestler.

We cut to a shot of Shawn about once every 30 seconds as Cena is more or less a pawn in this, which is ok I guess as this was just another title match for him. Cena has the STFU but due to Shawn standing there he gets nervous and JBL can get out. The Clothesline hits but it just gets two. There goes the referee and we have a bad looking double clothesline spot. Oddly enough we can see the ECW announce table over Shawn’s shoulder and there’s no Todd Grisham. That’s most odd.

Shawn gets in the ring and starts tuning up the band. He kicks Cena and JBL begins his second world title reign. Yeah I don’t buy that either. Oh of course he kicks JBL. Ok he kicks Cena too. He lays JBL on top of Cena as Cole says he doesn’t get it. That might be because Cole is freaking stupid. Yeah it must be. Shawn leaves and shakes his head as Cole tries to figure out the complexity of this.

Have fun Mikey boy as it doesn’t exist. Another referee comes out and we get two. Both guys are out as Cena kicks out so it looks like he’s spooning JBL. DANG that first referee has been out for a long time. He got ran into not freaking shot. Cena gets an easy FU for the pin. Oddly enough it has no name here and was called his move by Lawler in the replay.

Rating: C. Usual stuff from these two with the focus on JBL and Shawn like it should have been. That’s ok here though as it set up the big blowoff with them next month. Like I said Cena was more or less a pawn here and that’s all he should have been. This got JBL and Shawn much further along and it worked well. The match wasn’t that good but it rarely was with these two so what are you going to do.

Buy Legends of Wrestlemania and mess with history.

We recap Edge vs. Hardy which was the result of the Stairwell “Atrocity”. Basically, it seemed like someone wanted to hurt Jeff. There was that, plus him and his girlfriend being run off the road, and him having his face burned by pyro. I went to a house show a few weeks after that and he didn’t appear because of it. I’ve never seen so many kids look so sad. Anyway, Edge denied everything as he was the obvious most likely suspect. This is Jeff’s first title defense.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Wow. Back in 2000 or 2001 who would have thought that would be realistic? Jeff is WAY over. The celebration for him winning the title was absolutely perfect. My goodness I want to freaking shoot Vickie. Oh she’s Edge’s wife at the moment. It’s no DQ now also. Edge is flanked by Chavo. Edge gets speared as the bell rings, which is stupid as he didn’t need to since there’s no DQ. The WE WANT CHRISTIAN chant starts in about 10 seconds.

Christian would debut again in 16 days and he was already done with TNA and had made it known that he was coming back to WWE. You know the more I watch these shows, the more spots I see called by guys. I wonder if that’s just because I’ve seen a lot or if it’s because it’s becoming more of an issue with these young guys. After Jeff dominates for a bit, Chavo’s interference gives Edge the advantage.

Now we get some stupid hockey jokes after Edge slams his head into the table three times. Geez there’s another called spot. And now it’s weapons time as Edge brings in a chair which doesn’t work. While both are on the apron, Jeff hits a Twist of Fate which pretty much sucked. And there’s the ladder because Jeff is the Sabu of the WWE. Chavo makes a save but gets thrown off and jumped on. Jeff jumps off onto Edge.

I use the term jump loosely as he more or less falls and the splash turns into a headbutt. It looked ok but sloppy. Passable at least. This is the referee with the hitch in his count which is so annoying. Edge counters the Twist of Fate into a DDT which impresses JR. Why? It’s not like that move has never been countered before. That’s why it never worked as a big time move. Think of the leg drop or the Sharpshooter or the Stunner in the earlier days of it or the tombstone.

When one of those connected, it was OVER. Jeff and Edge never had one of those, which is what makes them look weak. Vickie comes out and breaks up the pin off the Swanton. Here’s Matt with a chair and you can feel it coming. The crowd just goes silent over the chair shot and the look from Matt is GREAT.

This was an awesome moment with Edge looking back and forth with an awesome what the heck just happened look on his face. The complete lack of commentary here helps a lot. Matt walks away stoically. This would lead to their two match series that sucked because they didn’t go anywhere near as insane as they could have.

Rating: B-. Not bad but not great here. They had their standard good match that went about 20 minutes. That’s all you need really at the end of the day. The real story here was of course Matt vs. Jeff which is fine as it was a great story that the matches couldn’t live up to. They went fine though here and that’s fine.

Ad for No Way Out, which is now just called Elimination Chamber.

Orton says he’s not worried about Vince. This was the start of the STUPID mental disorder or whatever it was. That could have worked if he never said he didn’t have it or whatever but the whole thing was just stupid. Jericho shows up and says good job on kicking Vince in the head.

We get a recap of all of the Rumbles which never gets old. This is the really cool one with the following stats, accurate as of coming into the 09 Rumble:

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors (this is odd as there was one match with only 20 entrants and I don’t think there are enough to knock out twelve people over the years, unless they’re counting all the times where a guy gets beaten up on the way to the ring)

36 people that Austin eliminated, a record that Kane will likely break someday.

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001 which is insane

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane, which is awesome

1 woman ever for Chyna

62 minutes 12 seconds which is the official record I guess, even though if you listen to the commentary for the 92 Rumble Flair was in for about 70 or so, which was false.

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted.

3 times that Austin won, which is also a record

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30, which is insane when you think about it. Note that in the video for this they only show Shawn when talking about the number one spot.

27, which has had 4 winners (Studd, Yoko, Hart, Austin in 2001)

70 which is the percent that since 1993 that the winner has won the world title at Mania.

This was an AWESOME package that got me completely in the mood for a great Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals this year. Rey has number one and Morrison number two. If they had any idea what kind of a classic they would have in the fall they would be amazed. Rey’s mask makes him looking like a member of the Klan. Ross and Lawler are doing the commentary which just makes this feel right. One thing I like that they’ve got going here is they have a big Mania 25 logo in the corner of the arena and everyone keeps pointing to it.

Miz and Morrison are of course tag champions here. Rey does an awesome spinning move around John to get to an arm drag. Number three is Carlito. He’s a face here as he’s part of the Smackdown tag champions which would be unified at Mania. Oh no wait it was before Mania because we had to have a Kid Rock medley. MVP, just having turned face is 4th. Khali is 5th as not a lot is happening. He of course dominates the whole thing and chops the heck out of them all.

I hated the match he had with Rey when Rey was world champion. It completely killed Rey’s credibility for months. Kozlov, still undefeated and with a decent amount of heat is 6th. He drops Khali in about 5 seconds. MVP and Carlito are both out now so it’s Rey, Morrison who has been hiding and Vlady. It’s HHH at number 7 to a roar. After a facebuster, HHH throws him out with ease. Orton is 8th and it’s on.

The clock came up very fast for him as I’m assuming HHH was afraid of being in there with two good workers like Morrison and Rey. Morrison gets a 619 and Cryme Tyme come out and flip a coin to decide who gets in and it’s JTG. The clock is going WAY too fast here as DiBiase is 10th. Morrison and JTG both go over but hang on and kick at each other in a cool looking spot and then DiBiase and Rey do it and then HHH and Orton do it. That’s either cool or stupid.

Jericho is 11th. Well no one can say that they’re sticking with small stars in the opening. Despite the star power, not a lot of interesting anything is going on, mainly because it’s so clear Orton will win. Mike Knox and the beard of awesome is 12th. Knox would somehow manage to get into the Elimination Chamber next month which blew my mind and sucked at the same time. Miz is 13th.

He was about to start making fun of Cena and becoming the awesome character that he still is to this day. Morrison takes a sweet RKO and then so does Miz and JTG. He gets stopped by a Pedigree as HHH throws out Morrison and Miz while Finlay is 14th.

In a SWEET spot, Rey goes over the top to the floor but walks on Miz and Morrison to stay alive. That was awesome. How in the world are we almost halfway done with this? Rhodes is number 15. Rey gets a springboard and Orton takes him down with an RKO. The lights go out and Taker is sixteenth. Taker is on one side of the ring and everyone else is on the other. He beats them all up and throws out JTG with ease of course.

The crowd is way into him. That’s why he’s still getting pushed. Gold freaking Dust is 17th. WHY does he still have a job? He has no gimmick and is slipping in the ring. He and Cody have a showdown and Goldie beats him up. This is being written on December 23rd. My wish for Cody: that he makes 1/10 of the impact Goldust made. He’s got a long way to go. Rhodes puts out Rhodes and Orton is very proud. Punk gets number 18.

That pop doesn’t exist according to Vince as he deserves to be jobbed to Cena in less than two minutes. He won the IC Title about two weeks prior to this and the Triple Crown in less than a year. That’s amazing. Vince disagrees apparently. Yeah I’m a Punk mark, get over it. He hits GTS on HHH which surprises me. Henry, still a heel and not yet the Kool Aid Man is 19th.

The ring is WAY too full here with twelve or thirteen people in there. Shelton, the US Champion, is 20th. Punk and Jericho are on the top for some reason and Shelton does a running double Downward Spiral to them, which is called a reverse DDT by JR because he’s an idiot. Regal is 21st and he’s the guy that Punk beat for the IC Title.

Mysterio puts Henry out which is of course perfectly fine. Kofi, still not a big deal at all but getting very popular very fast, is 22nd. Taker is bleeding which I’d assume is hardway and he throws out Shelton. Kane is 23rd. Rey is upside down and hanging on in a weird looking position. Lawler counts 12 or 13 people in there. Kane and Taker hook up for awhile for a double chokeslam on DiBiase. Punk puts Regal out. R-Truth is 24th.

There are WAY too many people in there and even more just laying around and doing absolutely nothing at the moment. That’s the problem with having people last a long time in there. They’re used to ten to twenty minute matches at most so this is the equivalent of a rest hold. Rob Van Dam is 25th to an EPIC pop. The whole match stops to watch.

Something that would crack me up is if they didn’t know he was coming. He does his top rope kick to Kane who just watches it happen. I know there’s no point in having him in there as there’s no way he’ll win, but he’s a WRESTLER and a former world champion. There’s his validation. Kendrick is 26th. He manages to put Kofi out and then be thrown out in 15 seconds. Van Dam is just so ridiculously over it’s scary.

Dolph Ziggler, still meaning nothing, is 27th. He runs into Kane resulting in a quick elimination. There are at least 14 people in there and most of them are doing nothing with maybe 4 really working in there. Ross actually says they’re trying to keep up with the action. Santino is 28 and breaks Warlord’s record by being clotheslined out in 1 second by Kane who was right there. Hogan got a running start to put out Warlord which explains the time lapse.

HHH and Taker go at it which is always awesome. Jim Freaking Duggan is 29th. REALLY? This is what ticks people off about the modern WWE. Shad can’t get in there? Primo can’t? Instead we put a 50 year old jobber in there instead. Yes he’s won before but we don’t wheel Luger out to be in there also.

Big Show is number 30, so here’s your final group. You may need a pillow as this might last into the night. The group is Rey, HHH, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Taker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, RVD, Duggan and Show. That’s 14 people. DO YOU THINK THAT’S ENOUGH? Well since they’re all in here let’s get rid of them. Everyone stops except Duggan who keeps punching someone while everyone else stops to watch which looks really stupid.

He and Taker have their requited showdown and Kane does the required run in to stop it. Show puts out Duggan. Jericho jumps on Show which is amusing now. Truth gets thrown out by Show after a beating. Show throws Punk over three times and then knocks him out with a right hand. Punk’s selling is masterful. You know, the selling he demonstrated when he tapped to Cena in 2 minutes at the Slammies because that made SO much sense right?

Show puts out Knox and Rey as Horny comes in for no apparent reason and then Kane eliminates Finlay. Van Dam nods at a referee which I’d assume means something. Show and Taker go at it of course because that has to happen at least once every six months. Yeah Van Dam goes out soon after so I’m assuming a referee signaled that he was next out or something. I’ve always wondered how they knew when to do that.

Taker puts out Jericho and we’re down to seven. We’ve got Legacy, the big trio and HHH. There goes Kane, shocking no one as he jobs first. Legacy goes after Taker which is surprising. Taker counters with a double clothesline and a chokeslam for Orton. He doesn’t throw him over because he has to win though. Taker and Show have a boxing match or something resembling one. Taker has somehow shrunk from 7’0 to 6’11 to 6’10 to now 6’9 over the years.

Orton tries and RKO but just gets shoved off which never gets old. Taker and Show fight on the apron and Orton puts Show out who then pulls Taker out. Priceless being caught in a double choke by Taker made me imagine them in the locker room and Taker saying boys I’ve got cups older than you so sit down. That leaves us with Legacy and HHH as it’s all about him again.

This is a step down from HHH, Batista, Cena and Kane from last year. You ever notice how HHH is ALWAYS around near the end of these things? He was close in 98, won in 2002, 3rd in 2006, 2nd in 2008 and 2nd in 2009. That’s most interesting isn’t it? He of course throws out Legacy and then Orton dumps him for the completely inevitable win. Massive posing takes us out.

Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good. WAY too many people and WAY too much laying around just drained the life out of it. Van Dam coming in was great but Orton was so clearly the winner here that it sucked the life out of it. That’s something I burned Sly on once as he said that this was one of the best Rumbles ever and then slipped and said that the way you determine a good Rumble is by saying anyone could win.

I asked who else could have won in 09. I’m waiting on a reply to that and it’s been nearly a year boss. Anyway, this wasn’t interesting to me back then or now as it was just about HHH vs. the world and that’s simply not interesting. Of course, they would feud for the majority of the year and kill Raw in the process, but Vince is in love with Orton despite what ratings say so there we go.

Overall Rating: B+. Rumble aside, this is a great show. You have four solid matches with drama and title changes and storyline advancement. What more could you ask for out of this thing? I really liked it and it came out very well. The Rumble itself was pretty bad but then again so was Raw as a whole this year. As for the show, watch it but stop the DVD before the Rumble but after the Rumble package.

So that’s the Royal Rumble up til now. Since this is December 23rd, I have no idea what the 2010 card is going to look like so I have no predictions. Overall, the Rumble is the epitome of hit or miss in the company as some like 92 and 04 are classics and great matches while some like 95 or 99 make you long for a 2000 WCW PPV. It’s been able to make stars like Benoit and Shawn while at the same time some have won it and then done nothing like Duggan, Studd and that Austin guy.

It’s the most unique battle royal in wrestling and it’s the real start to Mania which is what it should be. That first three months or even four months of the year is predicated on this one match and other than one year it’s always been at least a 40 minute match so you’re in for a long one. This is definitely something special, and to think it all started so Vince could screw Crockett. Anyway, tomorrow is the Rumble and I’ll likely be pumped.

Sheamus is currently world champion and I still can’t get over that. Anyway, thanks for reading this and I hope you liked it. That wraps up the big four but I’ll be around with random reviews and some stuff from other companies so keep reading or start if you haven’t read this. Wait what?