Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

This show has had a pretty strong build as the card has been all but set for a few weeks now. The bigger matches include Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Edge defending the Smackdown World Title against the Undertaker, plus the Raw World Title triple threat match as Randy Orton defends against John Cena and HHH. Throw in Shawn Michaels trying to end Ric Flair’s career and that’s a heck of a card. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Elijah Burke, The Miz, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky, Deuce, Tommy Dreamer, Shannon Moore, Jamie Noble, Kofi Kingston, Festus, Cody Rhodes, Lance Cade, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Stevie Richards, Trevor Murdoch, The Brian Kendrick, The Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Domino, Mark Henry, Val Venis, Kane, Jim Duggan

The winner gets an ECW Title match later in the show. The bell rings so Festus snaps, allowing him to toss out Deuce and Domino rather quickly. Khali tosses Duggan and Burke gets rid of Richards, only to get eliminated by Kane. Miz, Yang, Moore and Jesse go out in a hurry, with Venis going out somewhere in there.

Murdoch, Festus, Kendrick and Cage go as well as the ring clears out VERY fast. Henry throws Kingston on top of the pile, followed by Noble (who tries to walk on the eliminated bodies but gets knocked down), Rhodes and Palumbo. A bunch of people get rid of Khali, Dreamer and Holly, leaving us with Henry, Kane and Snitsky. Kane gets rid of Snitsky, slips away from Henry and kicks him out for the win/title shot.

Rating: D. This is one of those “let’s get everyone on the DVD” matches and they didn’t bother wasting time with anything else. Kane winning is a fine way to go as he is pretty easily the biggest name in the match. There is almost no reason to not put the title on him later in the night and at least they didn’t waste time announcing the title match in advance, as Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane is hardly some huge showdown.

John Legend sings the America the Beautiful.

The opening video talks about how important it is to be here, as well how much has changed in a year. It’s not do much a sequel to last year, as much as it is the grand culmination of a rather eventful year. Cool video, as WWE nails these most of the time.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl (street fight) and kind of a weird choice for an opener. JBL gets the limo entrance and we look at a quick recap of JBL attacking Hornswoggle (Finlay’s son) as Vince McMahon’s mercenary. As you might expect, Hornswoggle is back as well. They start the fight on the floor with JBL getting the better of things before the bell. Finlay reverses a whip into the steps and they’re back inside for the bell.

That means it’s time to go outside for some weapons, with JBL grabbing a trashcan for a heck of a shot to Finlay’s head. The steps are brought in but JBL gets backdropped off of them for a crash. JBL hammers him back down and grabs the shillelagh but Hornswoggle gets in a kendo stick shot for the save. Finlay shillelaghs JBL down and the fans are rather pleased, with Finlay pulling out a table to make them even happier.

With the table up in the corner, a heck of a clothesline drops JBL again but he goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle. Finlay goes nuts and unloads on JBL, who manages to grab a trashcan lid. The suicide dive (oh dear) is lidded out of the air and JBL even kicks Hornswoggle down. Back in and a trashcan shot to the head puts JBL down for a change, setting up the spear through the table. Finlay grabs the steps but JBL knocks out his knee, sending Finlay face first into them. The Clothesline From JBL finishes Finlay off.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t a classic but they beat each other up rather well and started the show off pretty well. It’s a bit weird to see JBL win as the villain comes out on top, but at the same time he’s a much bigger star than Finlay. Even from fighting underneath, Finlay beating JBL would have been a big upset. It might have been the better result though, but at least it was a solid opener.

Kim Kardashian is the guest host and talks about the Money In The Bank ladder match. Mr. Kennedy interrupts to say he’ll win again this year to become the first ever back to back winner. Kardashian laughs at him repeating his name.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Money In The Bank. Everyone but MVP bails to the floor to go for a ladder to start, leaving MVP to steal one of the ladder that slides in. Some shots to the face put various other people down but here is Jericho with the big ladder. That means a ladder off (?) with MVP being knocked outside, leaving Morrison to pick up a ladder and moonsault down with it onto the pile (there’s a highlight reel moment).

Back in and Jericho cuts off Kennedy’s climb but catapults him into the ladder in a bit of a mistake. Kennedy can’t get the briefcase so Morrison jumps onto the ladder for the slugout. Benjamin sets up his own ladder and joins the two of them, setting up a sunset bomb into a Tower Of Doom (geez) off the ladders. Carlito breaks up Benjamin’s climb and hits him with the GTS. MVP comes in to knock some people down but misses a running boot in the corner.

It’s Carlito getting pulled down this time so Benjamin Dragon Whips him down. Benjamin goes up until Carlito and Kennedy shove his ladder over…sending him through a bridged ladder at ringside. Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho go up but MVP shoves the ladder over, only to be taken out by Morrison as the carnage continues. Jericho gets the Walls on Morrison on top of the ladder (geez that looks painful/scary) until he has to stop Kennedy.

Hold on though as Carlito and Punk springboard onto the ladders, setting up the big crashes, including Carlito’s super Backstabber to Jericho. That leaves MVP all alone so he goes up but Matt Hardy (in gear) runs in to make the save and reignite their feud. A super Twist of Fate brings MVP off the ladder and Matt runs off through the crowd, leaving Jericho to wedge two ladders together, making kind of a big V (Daddy not included).

Morrison goes up and gets knocked down just as fast, including a crotching on top. Jericho’s climb is cut off by an apple to the face but Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner. Punk makes the save but gets Codebreakered into a ladder to leave everyone down. That lets Jericho go up until Punk starts the slugout. Punk gets smart by tying Jericho’s leg in the ladder and gets the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. Yeah these matches can be interchangeable but dang they are a lot of fun. This was another spotfest and Punk winning the briefcase is about as big of an endorsement as he could have gotten here. I’d still like to see one or two fewer people in there but Benjamin getting taken out softened things a bit. Heck of a fun match and that’s all it needed to be.

We see the video from last night’s Hall Of Fame induction ceremony.

Here is the Class Of 2008 (dang that music is still great):

Brisco Brothers (how Jack wasn’t in already is beyond me)
Gordon Solie (you can’t forget that voice)
Rocky Johnson (complete with a shuffle)
Peter Maivia (I hear he’s a family man)
Eddie Graham (had to be inducted in Florida)
Mae Young (again, how was she not in before)
Ric Flair (who thankfully isn’t here to tell us about how great he is)

Snoop Dogg is having a great time here so far and he has found someone he sees eye to eye with, from movies to food to cars to everything. That would be Festus but Santino Marella comes in to threaten Snoop….who whips out a bell to send Festus after Santino. Todd Grisham asks where the bell came from so here is Mick Foley, complete with Mr….would it be Snoopo?

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw so Theodore Long and William Regal are here. Batista powers him into the corner to start and a shoulder sends Umaga outside for a breather. Back in and a spinwheel kick drops Batista for a change, followed by a splash to the back for two. The nerve hold goes on, which seems a bit early for this one. With that broken up, a powerslam from Umaga sets up…another nerve hold. The Samoan drop gives Umaga two but the Samoan Spike is blocked. Umaga misses a charge into the post, gets spinebustered, and the Batista Bomb (with Batista falling backwards) finishes him off.

Rating: D. Oh this was bad, as it was Batista laying around a lot and then doing his two big finishers. They had built this up as a big match and Batista barely did anything for most of the match. While Umaga had fallen a long way, he was able to do more than this. Normally I would complain about their lack of time, but I don’t want to imagine how much worse this would have been if it had gone longer. Pretty awful match.

We look at the tale of the tape for Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

We look at Kane becoming the new #1 contender to the ECW World Title on the pre-show.

ECW World Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Kane

Chavo is defending and loses the title to a chokeslam in a record eleven seconds. That’s how it should have gone as there was no reason to believe Chavo would be a threat to Kane.

Here’s the Carlito/Maria ad for the show you’re already watching. Weird.

Raven Symmone is very loud and introduces a bunch of Make-A-Wish kids. That’s always cool. The kids, not Symmone.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels. Flair is still on his winning streak, as he has to retire whenever he loses his next match, so now he wants to face one of the best ever in Shawn, or he doesn’t want to be here anymore. Shawn thinks he has to put Flair down, but Flair isn’t about to go down without a fight. This include an AMAZING tribute video to Flair, set to Leave The Memories Alone. I’m not a Flair fan but dang this worked well.

Flair says his game plan is to be the man. WOO!

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair retires if he loses. Shawn takes him down to start and teases a strut but Flair is back up with a hammerlock. That’s reversed into one from Shawn and they get up for a standoff, complete with WOO. Flair takes him into the corner and brings up the Old Yeller line, earning a shot to the face from Shawn (busting a lip in the process).

A quick slugout goes to Shawn so he goes up top, only to get slammed off. Flair goes up and hits the high crossbody for two in a Starrcade 83 callback. Back up and Shawn sends him outside again, only to have an Asai moonsault hit the edge of the announcers’ table (as in not Flair) to do some serious damage to his ribs. The count is beaten so Flair goes right after the ribs, including a suplex for two.

Shawn knocks him outside again though and hits the moonsault off the top for another knockdown. Back in and they chop it out again until Michaels hits the flying forearm into the nipup. The top rope elbow hits Flair but Shawn can’t bring himself to fire the superkick. You don’t do that to Flair, who grabs the Figure Four, which is turned over without much trouble. Shawn sunset flips him for two more but Flair is right back to the leg, as is his bread and butter.

There’s the Figure Four again and this time it stays on a lot longer. The rope is grabbed to get Shawn out of trouble and he nails Sweet Chin Music out of nowhere. A very delayed cover gets two so Shawn loads it up again, only to have Flair fall down. Shawn’s attempt at picking him up earns himself the required low blow for two but Flair can’t follow up either.

Instead, Shawn pulls him into that inverted Figure Four of his, sending Flair to the rope for a change. They chop it out from their knees until Shawn hits another Sweet Chin Music. Shawn won’t cover so he goes to the corner, with Flair getting back up. Flair says bring it, so Shawn says “I’m Sorry, I Love You” and superkicks him for the pin.

Rating: B. This is a weird one to rate as it is a farewell for Flair, but not exactly a classic. At the end of the day, Flair has been able to wrestle a completely acceptable match for a long time now but there is a big gap between that and hanging in there on this level. It didn’t exactly feel like a classic and the drama was limited, but what we got was certainly good. The problem is that when you think of Flair vs. Michaels on the stage of Wrestlemania, you expect a bit more than “good”. That being said, Flair gets to out with a solid match on the grand stage against a legend. What more could you reasonably ask for?

Shawn immediately leaves so Flair can have the big moment. Flair kisses and hugs his family and makes the long walk up the aisle before blowing one last kiss to the crowd. Yeah it’s an emotional moment, as like him or not, Flair is still a legend and one of the last links to the glory days of the 70s/80s.

Edge talks about being at Wrestlemania VI and seeing Hulk Hogan lose in the main event. It was ok though, because it has come full circle and now he is here again. See, everyone can count on the Undertaker at Wrestlemania but tonight, he takes everything away from them, just like Hogan losing took it away from him. That makes sense.

Fireworks go off.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is the Playboy Bunnymania match, meaning a lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as the Master of Ceremonies. Naturally Snoop comes to the ring in what looks like a Mercedes golf cart, with most of the women following him. Santino Marella is here with the villains. Ashley drives Beth into the corner to start so Maria can come in. Melina gets sent to the floor for a quick beating from the lumberjills, setting up Maria’s Bronco Buster back inside.

Ashley comes back in and gets caught in the wrong corner. A trip to the floor goes badly for Ashley as well and Beth grabs the bearhug. With that broken up, Beth electric chairs Melina into a moonsault onto Ashley (not bad) for a near fall….and the lights go out. As in an actual lights issue, not an Undertaker cameo.

We get a spotlight as Maria (now legal) hits a crossbody for two on Beth. The Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog for two and Beth’s spear hits Melina by mistake. Ashley dives off the apron onto a bunch of lumberjills, leaving Maria to hit a top rope bulldog for two on Beth, with Santino making the save. Jerry Lawler gets up and decks Santino but Beth hits the fisherman’s buster to pin Maria.

Rating: D. Well ok then. This is one of those matches that was never going to be very good in the first place, but then it got a bit more time than I was expecting (even at five minutes) and the villains win. The match was supposed to be little more than goofy fun and you can’t have Maria get in a rollup for the pin? Just a rather weird choice and I’m not sure why they went this way.

Post match Snoop Dogg drops Santino and kisses Maria.

We recap the Raw World Title match, with Randy Orton defending against John Cena and HHH. Cena and HHH are both coming back from major injuries, with Orton having risen to the top during their absences. Now both of them are back to win the title at Wrestlemania, but Orton doesn’t quite see it that way.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. John Cena vs. HHH

Orton is defending and Cena’s big entrance this year is a marching band playing him to the ring (that’s rather cool). The bell rings and Orton hits HHH with the bell before brawling with Cena. HHH gets back up and takes Orton outside to beat him over the announcers’ table, followed by the sleeper back inside. Cena picks both of them up but HHH slips out and kicks him low. Orton is back up as well and knocks HHH down to stomp away at both of them.

Cena catches Orton up top but a HHH distraction lets Orton reverse into a sunset flip for two. Another hard shot puts HHH down and Orton hits a double hanging DDT. The RKO to Cena is countered with a shove, leaving Orton to land on HHH. The Throwback hits Orton and the top rope Fameasser takes him down again. Back up and HHH goes after Orton’s knee and slowly stomps away. Cena’s distraction lets the RKO drop HHH but Cena pulls Orton into the STFU.

Orton is about to tap so HHH grabs his hand and pulls it to the rope in a smart move. A whip into the steps takes Cena down and HHH grabs the Indian Deathlock on Orton, because of course he has to do that. Cena sends HHH over the ropes and grabs the STFU on Orton again, only to have HHH make another save. HHH grabs a crossface on Cena but gets broken up, meaning it’s time for the slugout. The FU and Pedigree are both broken up so HHH hits a face/spinebuster. Another shot to the knee takes Orton down and there’s the Pedigree to Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain the title.

Rating: B-. It’s an interesting way to go to have Orton retain, but if you want him to have him feel like a bigger main event, giving him the win at Wrestlemania makes as much sense as anything else. Orton can drop the title to one of them alter if he has to but for now, he gets the win that he needs. The match wasn’t exactly great though and felt like almost any other big time triple threat, with one person being out for most of it so the others could fight. Then Orton stole the pin, which is far too common of a finishing sequence in something like this. Not awful, but I’d call it pretty disappointing.

We recap Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr., in a package that is cut from Peacock, likely for music. Mayweather broke Show’s jaw with a punch at No Way Out so Show is trying to take him out. This is billed as the Best Fighter In The World vs. the Largest Athlete In The World and is as McMahon Freak Show style as you can get.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Pinfall, submission or knockout only. Mayweather comes out with his entourage and makes money rain from the sky for a festive entrance. The bell rings and Mayweather, in boxing gloves runs away to start before hitting a few shots to the ribs. Hold on though as Mayweather needs water (from a chalice, because of course) so Show beats up part of the entourage.

Back in and Mayweather goes for the right hand to the face but Show pulls it out of the air. The big stomp on the hand misses so Show grabs him by the throat on the corner. A few right hands don’t do much to Show so Mayweather grabs the required sleeper. That’s broken up so Show goes after the hand again and stands on Mayweather, which has the entourage shouting that how THAT IS AGAINST THE RULES!

The big chop in the corner drops Mayweather again and there’s a side slam to crush him. Show gets creative by dropping a leg on the arm and that’s enough for the entourage to pull Mayweather out. That goes as well as you might expect and they go back to the ring, with Mayweather being mostly done.

The entourage tries to come in and gets dropped, with a chair shot having no effect on Show. Mayweather gets the chair and drops Show (after a guy twice his size couldn’t even stagger him), setting up a low blow. Some chair shots to the head stagger Show again so Mayweather grabs brass knuckles from the entourage to knock Show silly for the knockout win.

Rating: C+. This was a total mess and incredibly entertaining throughout. There is something fun about seeing Mayweather get beaten up, even if he won in the end. It made sense to not bother trying to do anything else here than having a goofy match and that is what they pulled off. Good enough stuff here, even if it was mainly Show doing slow motion stuff and Mayweather’s entourage getting beaten up. Still though, they knew what they had here and it worked.

The attendance, as announced by Kim Kardashian: 74,635.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker for Edge’s Smackdown World Title. The focus is on both of them being undefeated at Wrestlemania, with Edge seemingly being more obsessed with giving Undertaker his first loss rather than retaining the title. Undertaker just wants to hut Edge, as tends to be the case to anyone who has hurt him before. Like Edge, who cost him the World Title and then stole it for himself.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Undertaker

Edge is defending and gets his neck snapped across the top rope to start. Undertaker hammers away back inside and starts cranking on the arm, as is his custom. Old School is broken up and Edge sends him to the apron for a shoulder into the barricade. A running neckbreaker snaps Undertaker’s neck across the top to even things up a bit, meaning Edge gets in some Wrestlemania worthy posing.

Undertaker finally gets back in, where he is caught with a missile dropkick. Edge takes too long to go up again and gets shoved to the floor, setting up the required Taker Dive. Back in and Undertaker’s banged up back means the Last Ride doesn’t work so Edge takes him back outside. There’s a drop onto the barricade, followed by the half crab to keep Undertaker in trouble back inside.

Make that a double leg crank until Undertaker kicks him away for a needed breather. Undertaker wins the slugout and Snake Eyes connects, only to have Edge hit a dropkick to block the big boot (that’s smart). The chokeslam is countered into the Edgecution for two and frustration is setting in. Back up and the chokeslam gives Undertaker two but Old School is countered again (as the theme of Edge knowing everything that is coming continues).

A superplex brings Undertaker back down but for some reason, Edge decides to punch away in the corner. The pose lets Undertaker try the Last Ride, which is countered into a neckbreaker to give Edge two. Another Last Ride attempt connects for two but the Tombstone is countered into the Edge-O-Matic. Undertaker is up again and Old School connects, only to have a big boot hit the referee (you knew that was coming).

Edge goes low and grabs a camera, which knocks Undertaker silly for….well nothing actually as the referee falls to the floor. For reasons of delusions of grandeur, Edge tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing, with another referee running down to count the near fall. Cue the Edgeheads to get beaten up, allowing Edge to hit a spear for two. Another spear is pulled into Undertaker’s choke and Edge has to tap away the title.

Rating: A-. That felt like a Wrestlemania main event as you had Edge countering every single time but ultimately not being good enough to beat Undertaker, even with the interference. Edge had his game plan but got a bit too cocky a few times, allowing Undertaker to catch up fast. Undertaker getting his title back and vanquishing Edge in the process is a great way to close the show, and the fact that it came in an excellent match makes it even better.

Undertaker celebrates and pyro rains.

The big highlight video wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a show where there is a lot of good stuff but the bad drags it down, with only the main event really standing out as great. Other than that you have Money In The Bank doing its usual stuff, Flair’s farewell as a special moment, a freak show match with Show vs. Mayweather and a just pretty good Raw World Title match. That really isn’t enough to carry a nearly four hour Wrestlemania, leaving it as a good enough show, but far from a classic or all time show.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the biggest night of the year and this time the show does indeed feel big. You can feel how things have been going strong on the way here and I want to see how it goes. That takes some work when I have already seen the show multiple times. It is a stacked card and the biggest is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires, which is really Donald Trump vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, let’s do the pre-show match for a bonus.

Pre-Show: Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match to get more people in front of the crowd. The entrance is a little weird here as there is a huge curtain in front of the set, which does make this feel like a bonus. Flair and Helms start things off with Helms taking him into the corner for a slap to the face. A hiptoss into some chops slow Helms down and it’s Carlito coming in to knee lift Chavo.

Carlito dropkicks Chavo off the apron to little avail but Helms kicks Carlito off the apron to take over. Back in and Chavo belly to back suplexes him into a chinlock but Carlito fights up in a hurry. The hot tag brings in Flair to clean house as everything breaks down. Helms breaks up the Figure Four but Chavo misses the frog splash. Guerrero is back up and tries the Three Amigos but Carlito escapes and hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing but a standard Raw match here (if you ignore the Smackdown wrestlers involved) and that is perfectly fine for the spot they were in. This was about warming the crowd up and having Flair out there is going to do that just fine. Sometimes you need someone to set the stage for later and these four did it just fine in a very simple tag match.

The opening video looks at a history of the show, including some major moments. We also get a special look at Wrestlemania III, with the famous Vince McMahon introduction swinging into this year’s America the Beautiful, once again sung by Aretha Franklin.

We go to the regular opening video, featuring a bunch of wrestlers talking about how they have always dreamed of being here as children. Now they are all grown up and it is time to take the stage themselves. This campaign has grown on me a lot over the years and I like it a good bit more than I used to.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Money in the Bank as they’re starting big this year. Everyone looks up at the briefcase to start and then it’s already time to head outside for the fight. It’s a brawl to start and Finlay dives off the top onto almost everyone else. Matt has to cut off Edge’s climb, leaving Orton and Finlay to climb the ladder to no avail. Booker goes to pull out another ladder but finds Hornswoggle’s stepladder instead, allowing Punk to knock him down.

Edge bridges a ladder between the apron and the barricade but Booker starts cleaning house. There’s the Spanarooni, only to have the Hardys run Booker over with ladders. For some reason Finlay saves Edge from the see saw ladder treatment and Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder. Kennedy’s Kenton Bomb onto hits ladder (with Kennedy landing HARD on the back of his head) and it’s a Hardy slugout on top of the ladder.

Finlay breaks that up but gets speared down by Edge. More spears drop just about everyone else but Punk wraps the ladder around his head to knock out various people. Edge slides in the big ladder and climbs, at least until Orton shoves him over the top and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge over the bridged ladder and Jeff dives onto him, breaking the ladder to get rid of both of them. Both guys are taken out on stretchers and we’re down to a six way.

Now it’s time for the parade of RKOs and Orton climbs, despite not being underneath the briefcase. Punk breaks that up and climbs as well, only to get taken down with a super RKO for the huge spot. Booker grabs the Book End and goes up but Matt is there to catch him. Cue Queen Sharmell to grab Matt’s leg but Booker gets distracted by Matt and walks into the Twist of Fate.

Finlay gives Matt a Celtic Cross onto the ladder, busting himself open in the process. Now it’s Hornswoggle going up the ladder until Kennedy catches him for a super Regal Roll off the ladder. Punk dropkicks the ladder down to cut Finlay off and it’s Punk vs. Kennedy on top of the ladder. Kennedy gets knocked down but comes back up and kicks Punk down, allowing him to grab the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. I never know how to rate these things but it was another blast with everyone flying around and having one crash after another. This was a lot of fun and one of the right people won, which is what matters the most in a match like Money in the Bank. Everyone got a chance to shine here, even in a complete car crash match like this one. Rather fun opener.

We look at the premiere of the Condemned. It wasn’t that good.

Mr. Kennedy congratulates himself and says any champion needs to have eyes in the back of his head because he’s coming with the briefcase.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Interpromotional battle of the monsters, though Kane doesn’t even have his big hook here. Khali shoves him down to start and adds a shoulder to drop Kane again. There’s a clothesline to set up a slam as it’s all Khali so far. The nerve hold doesn’t last long so Khali starts stomping away in the corner as JR gets in the bowling shoe line. Kane is back with some right hands and the top rope clothesline, which doesn’t knock Khali down.

Instead, Kane knocks him into the ropes for the tie up and NOW it’s time for the big hook. That takes too long though and the slugout is on with Khali getting the better of things. Khali rips the turnbuckle pad off but Kane gets in a low blow into the slam (for the Hogan/Andre callback). It’s just a slam though so Khali is back up with the double chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? They had five minutes and the whole thing was about making Khali look like a monster. The hook never meant anything (as it would have killed Khali) but the slam was a cool moment. Sometimes you need a bit of a cool down match and that’s what you got here after the crazy opener.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme try to cheer Eugene up so here is Extreme Expose for the dancing. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come up in the same outfits to dance but Slick (get him in the Hall of Fame already) comes in to show them up. Dusty Rhodes, IRS, Jimmy Hart, Gerald Brisco (in a suit of course) and finally Ricky Steamboat come in. Say it with me: Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

MVP is challenging and has his own cheerleaders for some Wrestlemania flavor. Benoit drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headscissors on the mat. That’s reversed into a headlock as they’re going technical early on. MVP has to block the German suplex and the Crossface but Benoit sends him outside. Back in and MVP has to go to the rope to break up another Crossface attempt, which has Cole impressed. With the holds not working, Benoit chops him into the corner and loads MVP up on top, only to get knocked back down.

MVP starts in on the arm, including with some kicks and driving shoulders. The confidence gets a bit too high though as Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex. It’s too early for the Swan Dive though and MVP catches him on top with a superplex. MVP stays on the shoulder by sending it into the post and a belly to back suplex onto the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Benoit pops up and snaps on the Crossface. The bar arm gives out though and MVP plants him with a slam. Ballin gets two but the running boot misses in the corner. Benoit rolls more German suplexes and the Swan Dive retains the title clean.

Rating: C+. This was always a weird one for me as they set up MVP to win the title but then Benoit just retains clean. I’m still not sure what the point of this one was other than to give us a surprise. The match itself was like a good Smackdown match so it isn’t out of place, but this felt like a curve ball for the sake of a curve ball, as it isn’t like Benoit is some kind of amazing champion.

Donald Trump is in on the phone in his dressing room and complaining about things. Boogeyman comes in and Trump no sells it, asking for some food.

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. William Shatner still seems to have almost no idea who Jerry Lawler is.

Official attendance: 80,103.

Howard Finkel introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2007 (I still love that song):

Jim Ross (quite the reaction)
Curt Hennig (represented by family)
Jerry Lawler (also quite the reaction)
Nick Bockwinkel (Fans don’t seem to know him, but is this guy ever not impeccably dressed?)
Mr. Fuji (I would never have recognized him, though it’s Don Muraco of all people wheeling him out)
The Wild Samoans (Not much of a reaction but how were they not in already?)
The Original Sheik (represented by his wife)
Dusty Rhodes (your headliner)

We get a fan poll on Undertaker vs. Batista, with Undertaker winning 82%-18%. That’s a heck of a squash.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot and Batista is all BRING IT ON as we have the monster fight for the title. This feels like a Wrestlemania World Title match and that’s kind of a hard trick to pull off.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Teddy Long handles the introductions for a bit of a weird moment. We get the full druid entrance for Undertaker, which will never stop being awesome. Batista spears him down at the bell and it’s time to trade right hands in the corner. It’s actually Batista getting the better of things and the fans are not too thrilled with that. Undertaker pulls him outside for a ram into the apron but Batista is right back for a hard whip into the steps.

Back in and Batista nails a top rope shoulder (dang) for two and a heck of a clothesline cuts Undertaker off again. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and punches Batista into the corner for the running clotheslines. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the legdrop for two as we’re back to mostly even. Old School looks to set up the chokeslam but Batista powers out and knocks Undertaker down.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind as he sends Batista to the apron for the legdrop. There’s the Taker Dive and they’re both down on the floor. Back up and Batista drives him HARD through the barricade and hammers away as things have cranked up in a hurry. The announcers’ table is loaded up and a running powerslam drives Undertaker through it for the big crash. That’s only good for two back inside so Batista punches away even more.

The Batista Bomb is broken up with a drive into the corner but Batista is right back….with right hands from the middle rope. I guess HHH didn’t teach him that one and it’s the Last Ride for two. The frustrated Undertaker gets caught in a spinebuster but pops back up with a chokeslam for two. Batista slips out of the chokeslam and hits the spear into the Batista Bomb for two as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Undertaker backdrops his way out of another Batista Bomb and sends Batista into the corner. The Tombstone is enough to give Undertaker the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania level title match between two monsters. These two beat the fire out of each other and didn’t bother with anything other than the big power moves. They were trading bombs throughout the whole match and it was a question of who would survive, which made the whole thing world. It helps when Undertaker was motivated by being put in the middle of the card and cranked it up a notch, as both guys felt like they were on another level here.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Stephanie McMahon brings her daughter in to meet Vince McMahon and we get the baby carriage cam, with Vince talking trash about Donald Trump. Jokes about a smell, at Trump’s expense, ensue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

That would be Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn/Matt Striker, with Ariel in the New Breed’s corner. The Originals come through the crowd for a nice bit of flavor. Sabu starts fast with the springboard elbow and body block to drop Striker. Sandman comes in so Cor Von makes a fast save and stays to beat on Dreamer. A hard elbow drops Dreamer and it’s Burke coming in for the Elijah Express.

The mocking of Dreamer’s pose delays the near fall and it’s Thorn coming in for a chinlock. A spinebuster gives Thorn two with Sabu making a save of his own. Cor Von’s chinlock stays on Dreamer’s back but he lets go to knock Sandman off the apron. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and, after kicking Burke away, it’s a hot tag to bring in Van Dam. House is cleaned, including the monkey flip and Rolling Thunder to Striker. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Striker as Sandman runs over people on the floor. The Five Star gives Van Dam the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a good match or really anything close, but what matters here was giving ECW ANYTHING to do on the show. They didn’t need to do anything more than the basics here and Van Dam winning is a perfect way to go. You can all but guarantee that this feud isn’t over, especially with an Extreme Rules rematch out there.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires, which is more about asking celebrities who they want to see bald. To keep it simple, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon got in a stupid argument over who is richer/invented YOU’RE FIRED/walks funnier so it’s time for a match between their handpicked representatives with the billionaires’ hair on the line. Throw in Steve Austin as referee and it’s the real Wrestlemania main event.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Non-title, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are both here, with Steve Austin as guest referee and Armando Alejandro Estrada in Umaga’s corner. Everything, including the barber’s chair, gets its own entrance (JR: “All we need now is a barbershop quartet.”). They stare at each other before colliding, with Lashley driving him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley away because Umaga is in the ropes so Lashley goes up for a middle rope clothesline.

Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the rope so Lashley powerslams Estrada and sends him outside. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor as well but Lashley misses a charge to send himself flying outside as well. Back in and Umaga gets two off a splash and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Austin doesn’t like that either and breaks it up, just to keep things even. The near explosion lets Lashley elbow Umaga in the face but Umaga runs him over again.

Some sitting down onto Lashley’s chest sets up a Samoan drop and Trump….looks about the same as he has all match. Lashley knocks Vince off the apron but Umaga is right back with a Downward Spiral. A trip up top takes too long as Lashley slams Umaga off the top for a double nine count, though Austin just won’t count the ten. Cue Shane McMahon to help Vince up as Umaga uppercuts Lashley down to cut him off again. Austin goes after Umaga’s eye to break up the choking so Shane offers a distraction, allowing Umaga to Samoan Spike Austin to the floor.

The double beating is on and Shane, after pointing at Trump (who points back), hits the Coast To Coast. Shane has a referee shirt (because of course he does) and Umaga’s top rope splash connects. Austin is back up to pull Shane to the floor and take him out (Trump, sounding calm: “What’s going on over here?”). Umaga drops Austin again but Trump clotheslines Vince (there’s your entertainment show highlight), leaving Austin to Stun Umaga. The spear gives Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was expecting some kind of amazing match here and that’s not what you got. Instead, this was the crazy brawl surrounding the not very great power match. They kept this relatively short too, as there was no need to stretch this out any longer than needed. There was no way Trump was getting his head shaved so just get to the good stuff, which they did.

Post match Austin drags Vince inside for the shaving, but has to beat up Shane first. Vince tries to escape but Lashley chases him down without much trouble and drags him back to the ring. Back in and Vince bumps into Austin (as identified with a rub of the bald head), meaning it’s a Stunner to get Vince in the chair. The shaving is on (with Austin holding Vince for old times sake), even as Vince screams to not do this to him. JR: “It was Mr. McMahon’s real hair all along!”

They even whip out the shaving cream and razors to REALLY shave it off. JR: “Wrestlemania XXIII may be all grown up, but Mr. McMahon’s hair is all shaved off.” Vince looks eerily calm but then loses it all over again when Lashley holds up the mirror. As usual, Vince will do anything asked of him to make a moment like this. Beer is consumed and Austin Stuns Trump (the worst of all time, but he tried) to wrap it up.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

We look at the pre-show match as the ring is cleared out.

Commentary recaps the night so far.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

Melina is defending and it’s a lumberjill match, with all of the lumberjills being named during the group entrance. Melina starts fast with the boot choke in the corner as JBL says the women look good enough to even impress Cole. Ashley gets knocked into a short giant swing and it’s off to a double arm crank with Melina’s boots in Ashley’s back. The comeback is on with Ashley whipping her into the corner and grabbing a monkey flip. Starstruck (middle rope elbow) misses though and Melina grabs a bridging cradle to retain.

Rating: D. Did you expect anything else? Ashley isn’t a wrestler and Melina isn’t good enough to carry her to anything great. They were very smart to keep this short as there was no way they could do anything long term here. Ashley did as much as she could, but this was nothing more than a way to promote her Playboy, as is the tradition for this spot.

Post match the big brawl is on and the good ones clean house in a hurry.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

John Cena beats Shawn Michaels in another fan poll 59%-41%.

We recap John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels won a triple threat match to earn the spot and has since decided that he wanted to protect Cena until Wrestlemania. They wound up winning the Tag Team Titles but Shawn finally superkicked Cena, as is his nature, on the final Raw before Wrestlemania. Cena winning seems likely, but it’s Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, and that is always going to give him a shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and comes out to the DX theme, which still doesn’t feel quite right. You would think his already iconic theme song would work, though he’s pretty famous for this song too. Cena’s big Wrestlemania entrance this year involves driving a Ford Mustang into the arena, right through a glass wall. They happen to be Tag Team Champions as well but it doesn’t mean as much here.

Shawn sits on the top turnbuckle as we’re ready to go. After hopping down, Shawn tells Cena to bring it and finally slaps him in the face to pick up the pace in a hurry. Cena gets knocked down into the corner and that means a crotch chop from Shawn. A backflip gets Shawn out of a belly to back suplex and Cena is frustrated early on. Shawn headlock takeovers him down and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Cena cuts him down with a clothesline as the fans are firmly behind Shawn here.

Shawn enziguris him to the floor, setting up the springboard moonsault onto Cena onto the announcers’ table for the really nasty crash. Back in and Shawn goes for the leg, including stomping it down and wrapping it around the post. More stomping has the referee asking if Cena can continue and Shawn bends the knee around the rope. Shawn chops away so Cena punches him in the face for a simple yet effective counter.

A missed charge sends Shawn hard into the post and he’s busted open (thanks to one of those lightning quick blade jobs). Cena starts the comeback, including the ProtoBomb and Shuffle, but Shawn slips out of the FU. A quick Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake (it seems early for that) and the FU is countered into a DDT to put them both down. With no referee, Shawn takes Cena outside for a piledriver onto the steps. Cena is busted as well as Shawn pulls him back inside, where a second referee comes in for the near fall.

The forearm sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline. They’re both down again (as you might have guessed) for a bit before it’s time for the big slugout. The FU is countered into a sunset flip to give Shawn two but the next attempt connects. Cena can’t cover at first so it’s a very delayed near fall. Shawn breaks up the super FU and tries the superkick but has to counter the STFU (over and over) before getting two off a small package.

Cena is back with the STFU but Shawn realizes he is about a foot away from the rope and they’re out again. Back up and Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music for a delayed near fall of his own. They pull themselves up and Cena snaps him right back into the STFU to make Shawn tap and retain the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania main event and that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They went with the epic match here and by the end, it felt like either of them could pull this off. It made everything feel that much better and it felt like an incredible main event. Again, I’m not sure how much drama there was over who was going to win here, but they still had an outstanding match with Shawn making Cena look like a killer and Cena hanging with Shawn well enough to feel like the biggest star in the company when he retained the title.

Shawn walks away post match, but Cena offer the salute.

The Ladies And Gentlemen highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The big matches delivered and the bad stuff was mostly short. While it isn’t quite a classic, this is firmly in the higher tier of Wrestlemanias. What mattered here was the feeling, as you had a pair of great World Title matches, Money in the Bank delivering, and the big song and dance match with the Battle of the Billionaires. The rest of the show was watchable at worst and as a result, it felt like a Wrestlemania. That’s more than you could say about last year’s edition so they are trending in the right direction.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the big one as things have to change at some point in WWE. I’m curious to see how this show goes as I haven’t seen the television leading up to it since the show aired so maybe the show will feel a little bit different. The theme is Wrestlemania Goes Hollywood, which has included some outstanding movie parody trailers. Oh and Batista and John Cena look more than ready to become the top stars in the company. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

This is your “get them all on the show” match, which was likely just the DVD extra. They’re all in their show colored shirts with Eric Bischoff and Theodore Long at ringside. Before the bell, Hurricane gives Heidenreich his own mask so Heidenreich punches him in the face. Must be a villain. The fighting starts with Spike being sent to the steps as Hurricane makes the mistake of hammering away in the corner, making him the first elimination.

Reigns is out next as the ring is still very full. A bunch of the cruiserweights hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm. That high level of missing the point could explain why they don’t get on television very often. Masters doesn’t like that line of thinking and dumps Scotty, Funaki, Spike and Kidman in a hurry. Haas is tossed as well as the ring is clearing out a bit.

Masters dumps Nunzio, though it might not have been over the top. With nothing else to do, Heidenreich destroys a turnbuckle and tears off his mask before clotheslining the heck out of Venis for an elimination. Dean and Grenier are out as well, followed by Rosey, all at Heidenreich’s hands. Rhyno is out next and it’s Dupree following him in a hurry. Both Bashams go out as the fans are behind Regal.

With about twelve people left, we get the always natural looking Raw vs. Smackdown showdown with Akio and Holly being tossed, followed by Regal to even things up a bit. Tajiri mists Heidenreich so the blind monster gets rid of London. Heidenreich and Tajiri fight on the apron until Snitsky gets rid of them, leaving us with Jindrak, Booker, Masters, Snitsky and Viscera.

Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky and hits the big left on Viscera….which staggers Jindrak so much that Masters can get rid of him. Nunzio does the “I’M STILL IN” deal, only to be tossed seconds later. Viscera crushes Booker in the corner but he’s fine enough to low bridge the monster to the floor. The full nelson is broken up and a superkick gives Booker the win.

Rating: D+. It’s kind of hard to get too annoyed at a match like this as the whole point is getting people on the show and therefore onto the DVD, which is a nice bonus for the talent. I know this isn’t the most important match but it came and went fast enough and wasn’t terrible. Assuming you can ignore the RAH RAH RAH Raw vs. Smackdown aspect, it’s nothing too bad.

Lilian Garcia sings America the Beautiful. She’ll have a job in WWE as long as she wants one for how good she can make that sound.

The Titantron is revealed with the red curtain coming up. They’re nailing the theme this year.

We get a montage of the trailers, leading to the big reveal of the final trailer: Gladiator, featuring Steve Austin as Maximus. It’s a cool idea and suitable casting but there were better trailers.

It’s strange to see Wrestlemania in an arena. That’s one of those things you’ll probably never see again.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Not a bad way to start and the red carpet in the aisle makes it even better. They’re the Smackdown Tag Team Champions but Eddie isn’t sure if he can beat Rey. There’s no superhero outfit this year as Rey has Mexican/American flag inspired gear. Rey flips out of an armbar to start and hits a running knee but has to adjust the mask. A second armbar works a bit better for Eddie and but Rey pops up and climbs onto Eddie’s shoulders.

The sunset flip is countered into a catapult to the floor but Rey switches places and teases a dive to take us to an early standoff. Eddie takes him down into a keylock to stay on the arm before sending Rey outside. Since he’s a luchador as well, Eddie busts out his own dive to the floor, with the fans rather pleased with him. Rey adjust his mask again, as he isn’t wearing the regular kind and the clasp is different, causing a lot of issues.

Back in and Eddie stays on the arm (instead of the leg because Eddie is smart, since working on Mysterio’s leg hasn’t worked well for most people) before switching over to a surfboard. That’s broken up so Rey armdrags him to the floor, meaning the big corkscrew flip dive can take Eddie down. A backbreaker gives Eddie two though as Rey can’t keep the momentum going. Rey gets back up and tries the 619 but walks into another backbreaker for two, allowing Rey to fix the mask again.

Three Amigos connect, with Rey holding his mask the whole time. The extra vision lets Rey avoid the frog splash and now the 619 connects. The West Cost Pop is countered into a hard powerbomb for two as they go back to the back. Eddie tries another powerbomb but this time Rey reverses into a hurricanrana for the pin and one final mask adjustment.

Rating: B-. I don’t know how much the mask stuff messed with Rey but it seemed to be causing at least a bit of a problem. He had to mess with that thing probably a dozen times in a twelve minute match and it was becoming really noticeable. The idea here is to continue Eddie’s descent into jealousy over not being able to beat Mysterio and that could be a heck of a story.

JBL and the Cabinet meets Evolution. HHH says Ric Flair is the wrestling god and maybe one day someone will believe that JBL is that good. A staredown over belt importance and a WOO to Orlando Jordan ends a terrifying prospect. Somehow, JBL and HHH only had one singles match ever against each other and it was on a random Raw in 2008. You would think they would have met at least a handful of times.

Adam Sandler and Rob Schneider are here.

Edge vs. Christian vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Benoit

Money in the Bank with Tyson Tomko out with Kane. Kane gets a cool entrance where the ladders on the set are on fire. Almost everyone goes after Kane in the aisle and a variety of double teams take him down. Christian tries to use the melee to bring in a ladder but Jericho slams it into his face. A springboard dropkick sends Edge into Benoit to knock them both off the apron, followed by Jericho’s dive onto Edge.

Shelton hits the big running flip dive onto a bunch of people, with Kane adding the top rope clothesline to take down the same pile plus Benjamin for the wipe out. Back in and Jericho dropkicks a ladder into Kane but Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in a cool shot. Benoit’s climb is cut off so he Crossfaces Kane and then Edge, the latter of which allows Kane to hit Benoit with the ladder.

To make it worse, Kane crushes Benoit’s arm in the ladder over and over. Edge spears Kane down and it’s the big reunion with Christian, who grabs his own ladder to smash Kane at the same time. Now it’s Shelton coming in to send Christian outside and flapjack Edge into the ladder. Shelton and Jericho fight on top of the ladder until two more ladders are brought in (Lawler: “It’s like open house at Home Depot!”), meaning it’s everyone but Kane on top at the same time.

Benoit, Jericho and Christian are knocked down, leaving Shelton to hit the exploder on Edge off the ladder for the huge crash. Jericho is left to go up but Shelton runs up a second ladder to clothesline Jericho off because he can do something like that. Christian knocks Shelton off the ladder as Kane returns from the short term death that afflicts wrestlers in ladder matches. Tomko comes in and kicks Kane in the face before helping Christian to the top in a bit of a call back to TLC II.

Kane is back up though and shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down to the floor and onto Tomko. Jericho and Kane knock each other off the ladder and everyone is down as we need a breather. With Kane down, Benoit (bleeding from the head) hits the Swan Dive off the ladder. Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane off but the arm is too banged up to get the briefcase. Edge blasts Benoit in the arm with a chair though and that’s enough to pull down the briefcase for the win.

Rating: A-. Yeah this was great with more time for drama and fewer instances of having the people laying around forever because there are too many people in the match at the same time. Edge winning is the best call as no one has been chasing the title like him and now he can steal the title down the line. It’s a heck of a fight though with a bunch of awesome spots and stuff that kept the fans interested without many dead spots. Great stuff and an awesome way to debut the concept.

Here’s the still injured Eugene, whose music doesn’t start until halfway down the aisle. This is his second favorite Wrestlemania moment every, after the midget army getting together to fight off King Kong Bundy at Wrestlemania III (Hillbilly Jim was included as well, and he spent a good hour talking about it during his Hall of Fame speech). Cue Daivari and Muhammad Hassan to complain about not being on the show (that they’re on) and rant about the prejudice in Los Angeles.

Hassan is ready to make his own Wrestlemania moment and jumps Eugene, setting up the camel clutch. Cue Hulk Hogan or the REAL AMERICAN save, including a double noggin knocker. Hassan gets sent outside so Daivari can hit Hogan with a chair. Since that doesn’t work, it’s a big boot and another toss to the floor so the posing can commence. Hogan even gets to do the big pose in front of the huge American flag on the stage. Yeah it’s old hat but I’ll always be a Hulkamaniac so this made me smile.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Undertaker. Orton won the World Title last fall but lost it in a hurry and has been on a slow downward spiral since. He needs to get back on track so he’s going after Undertaker and the Streak while turning heel in the process. Orton’s dad Bob is helping him a bit, because Orton has slid far enough that he needs that kind of help.

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

The druids with the torches are here so you know it’s serious. Undertaker glides to the ring for a pretty cool entrance, which goes much faster than usual for a bonus. Orton comes out second for some reason, albeit with his own cool entrance of pyro raining down behind him as he poses with the still awesome Burn In My Light playing. After some early dodging, the first right hand gets Orton launched into the corner.

The dropkick out of the corner gets two and Orton backdrops him for a bump you don’t see from Undertaker that often. The early RKO attempt is shoved over the top as Undertaker is starting a bit slowly here. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to the floor to take over. Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and Snake Eyes connects. The ensuing big boot is cut off with a running elbow though, sending the fans straight into a LET’S GO UNDERTAKER/RANDY SUCKS chant.

The slugout goes to Undertaker and we hit the dragon sleeper as Undertaker busts out some different stuff for a change. Orton breaks out and grabs a sleeper, which doesn’t please the crowd. The counter before Orton can take him to the ground is more appealing but Orton is back with a powerslam.

For some reason, Orton hammers away in the corner, meaning he has to escape the Last Ride. The referee gets bumped though and here’s Bob with a cast shot to Undertaker’s head for the close two. Undertaker boots Bob off the apron and grabs the chokeslam, which is reversed into the RKO in midair (one of my favorite counters ever) for two and a big sigh of relief from the fans. For reasons of general cockiness, Orton tries his own Tombstone, which is reversed into the real thing to make Undertaker 13-0.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it never came close to that higher level. It would take a little longer for Undertaker to get that much better at Wrestlemania so for now it’s just a good one. Orton was trying here and looked better than he has in a long time, though aside from that one RKO, he never felt like a real threat here. Still though, one hot near fall is better than none and it wasn’t bad by any stretch.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme. It’s the annual Playboy match as we’re now supposed to believe that Christy can wrestle and isn’t just there because of her looks. Lita has been training Christy and is more interesting than anything Christy has been doing. Keep in mind that Christy isn’t at fault here. She isn’t a wrestler and is being thrown into a match because she won a modeling contest. That’s on WWE, not Christy.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Christy Hemme

Trish is defending and Christy has Lita with her. The bell rings and Trish drops to the mat but kicks Christy away in a rather heelish move. They head outside with Trish sending her into the steps, followed by some chops in the corner back inside. The Chick Kick misses and Christy hits one of her own as the fans are just gone for this.

Christy does the splits on top to set up a sunset flip for two, only to have Trish spear her down. We get the BORING chants as Trish stops to yell at Lita, allowing Christy to start in with the kicks. The reverse Twist of Fate and a rollup give Christy two each but Trish has had it. That means the Chick Kick to retain the title and end Christy’s wrestling run.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting? Trish was wrestling herself here as Christy was only good for some tumbling and that Twist of Fate. The women’s division is all but dead at this point and it’s likely going to be a long time before things get better. Christy was trying here but had no business in this spot.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels. Angle was annoyed that Shawn eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and beat him up, setting off the big feud. Kurt is annoyed that people were talking about Shawn in 1996 when Angle was an Olympic champion. Now Angle wants to prove that he is the better man on the biggest stage. Shawn is down with that because he’s Shawn Michaels and it’s Wrestlemania. This is more or less WWE saying “yeah it’s going to be a classic and everyone knows it.”

Various celebrities are here.

Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels

They stare at each other both before and after the bell until Shawn slaps him in the face. That makes Angle take him to the mat and Shawn is completely outclassed there. A headlock takeover works a bit better for Shawn as the fans are behind Angle for a bit of a surprise. The headlock stays on for a good while as they probably have a lot of time here. Shawn switches over to a short armscissors, allowing Angle to power out ala Bob Backlund (his old mentor).

Shawn is right back with the headlock but this time Angle powers up and takes him into the corner. The ankle lock is quickly broken up and it’s Shawn with a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Angle hits an Angle Slam into the post to take something out of Shawn. A suplex gives Angle two and it’s off to the bodyscissors to stay on the ribs/back.

The belly to belly gets two and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in Shawn’s back. Angle’s belly to belly superplex is broken up but Shawn misses the top rope elbow. Shawn is fine enough to backdrop Angle to the floor and he’s crazy enough to hit a high crossbody to the floor with the knee possibly hitting Angle in the face. Angle gets back up and teases the German suplex off the apron to make the fans a little nervous.

A low blow gets Shawn out of trouble and that means the springboard spinning splash onto Angle onto the announcers’ table for less of a pop than you might have expected, mainly because the table doesn’t break. They head back in for the slugout into Shawn’s forearm and nipup so things can pick up again. Sweet Chin Music (way too early) is countered into the ankle lock, setting up the big crawl to the rope. Angle gets it again but this time Shawn reverses into a rollup for two.

Another Sweet Chin Music attempt is countered into the Angle Slam for two as frustration is setting in. In another awesome moment, Angle pulls his straps up so he can pull them right back down again because you know it’s serious. The moonsault misses though (probably spent too much time with the straps) so Shawn goes up, only to get caught in the super Angle Slam for two, meaning Angle looks ready to cry at the kickout.

Angle talks a bunch of trash so Shawn snaps off Sweet Chin Music to shut him up. That gets a very delayed two and they both need a breather. Angle picks the ankle into the ankle lock as he’s right back up but this time Shawn can’t kick away. Shawn fights everywhere but finally gets pulled down into the grapevine for the tap (after a nearly goofy amount of time).

Rating: A+. Yeah what else do you want here? They told an outstanding story with Shawn going with the natural talent but Angle just wanting it that much more and turning up the intensity to a level Shawn couldn’t reach. It made Shawn look like he couldn’t beat Angle on his best night, all while putting in an instant classic. These two went back and forth with one big spot after another and Angle took away a lot of Shawn’s strength by working on the back. Check this one out if you haven’t in a while as it’s worth seeing again.

Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are here.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit (and I think there was an edit in there as the set was put together in the blink of an eye). Piper thanks the fans for the Hall of Fame but wants to get down to business. He wanted the meanest and baddest man in WWE so his guest is Steve Austin. Cue Austin (with a glass breaking transition as we cut to the stage), with JR saying that he’s back at Wrestlemania. He hasn’t missed one since 2000 so that’s not the biggest accomplishment. Piper asks if Austin is the rebel and slaps him in the face so Austin calls him an SOB and returns the slap. Piper: “I kind of like you.”

With that out of the way, Piper talks about respecting Austin but gets cut off by the WHAT chants, which he doesn’t seem to understand. Piper takes issue with one thing: he was ticking Vince McMahon off when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number. Austin and James Dean have nothing on Piper when it comes to being a rebel. Austin runs down Piper’s appearance and they get in each other’s faces, allowing Piper to quote Cool Hand Luke about a failure of communication.

Cue Carlito, with Piper and Austin accusing each other of bringing him out. Piper: “I’ll get back to you.” Carlito accuses both of them of arguing like girls, before declaring them both non-cool. Piper: “Who the h*** are you? You look like Alfalfa.” Carlito wants the two of them out of here and loads up the apple but Piper takes it away.

It’s Carlito taking the spit this time so Carlito hits him in the face as Austin laughs. Bored of that, Austin beats Carlito up and Piper sends him outside. Beer is consumed until Austin Stuns Piper. This completely missed as Piper and Austin didn’t have anything to say to each other. Carlito getting to be out there was a nice few moments for him but this was all about the legends, who didn’t need to be there.

It’s immediately time for the sumo match with a much harder cut to Cole and Tazz. They had to edit something out of there and we get a VERY long crowd shot during the next entrance. That was probably to remove the ropes, but it still felt like something was cut.

Upon further review, they aired the You Talking To Me trailer here and announced it as winning the Best Overall Trailer award. They’ve aired that on Raw and Smackdown, so why cut it here?

Akebono vs. Big Show

They do the full traditional opening as the fans are really not interested in this one. We finally get going, they slap each other, pull at the gear a bit, Show lifts Akebono and spins him around, and then Akebono wins. This didn’t work again as it came and went as it just wasn’t the right thing for a show like Wrestlemania. Akebono never wrestled for WWE again and I don’t know if he ever appeared again so I’m not sure what the thinking was here.

We recap John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield for the Smackdown World Title. It’s built around a culture clash with JBL being the old, rich traditionalist while Cena lives by his own rules and cares about the people. Cena won a tournament to get the shot so JBL talked about how people like Cena didn’t deserve to be champion. He couldn’t get Cena to go too far though and Cena is ready to explode here.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is defending and gets a police escort into the arena. Just to show off, we get a shower of JBL dollars, which are always a nice touch. They trade shoulders to start with JBL getting the better of it (the big boot out of the corner probably helped a bit). A suplex gives JBL two and he chokes Cena on the ropes for a bit. Back up and Cena is fine with getting into a slugout but JBL catches him with a Ron Simmons style spinebuster. A neckbreaker and some clotheslines stay on Cena’s neck, followed by a sleeper to do something similar enough.

Cena slips out and it’s a double clothesline to keep up the slow pace. JBL sends him outside for another neckbreaker before going up top for some reason. That earns him a slam out of the air but Cena can’t follow up. Cena starts his comeback but the fans aren’t quite thrilled. The Shuffle gets some energy flowing and after ducking the Clothesline From JBL, the FU gives Cena his first World Title out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Very bleh match here as there was no drama and the match just ended out of nowhere with Cena shrugging off the first ten minutes and winning with very little drama. I know the match itself doesn’t matter that much but Cena wasn’t ready to carry something like this and JBL was never capable of carrying something like this, leaving us with a very underwhelming match.

That’s also the end of JBL’s long title reign and really, it was a lot better than I remember. JBL can talk very well and while his matches weren’t great, it didn’t come close to dragging as a lot of people (myself included) remember. Maybe it was knowing when it was going to end but I didn’t mind this nearly as much as I expected to. JBL winning the title in the first place was a big stretch but he held it a lot better than I would have guessed.

Hall of Fame video. Hogan and Piper were long overdue. Heenan on Iron Sheik’s speech: “WHAT THE H*** DID HE SAY???”

Gene Okerlund brings out the year’s class:

Nikolai Volkoff (sure why not)

Iron Sheik (just don’t let him talk….or maybe let him talk….it could go either way)

Paul Orndorff (belongs in for 1986 alone and is smart enough to point at Miss Jackie)

Bob Orton (always good for a solid performance and still selling the injury from earlier)

Jimmy Hart (yep, and comes off as one of the nicest guys ever in wrestling)

Roddy Piper (would have headlined almost any other class)

Hulk Hogan (odds are we’re not here without him)

We recap the Raw World Title match. HHH has dominated the World Title scene for a long time and has used Evolution to help him hold onto the title. Batista has proven to be unstoppable and then won the Royal Rumble. HHH tried to talk him into going to Smackdown but Batista overheard the evil planning, sending Batista onto a path towards Wrestlemania and the title. This isn’t the hardest result to figure out and the fans are begging to see Batista take the title away from HHH for good.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH is defending and has Ric Flair with him, plus Motorhead plays him to the ring, just in case you thought Batista was cooler. I mean, you can barely understand the words because Lemmy butchers it in a great Brutus Beefcake impression but HHH rising up through the stage makes up for it a bit. Batista doesn’t get much of a pop, mainly due to the lack of the famous band performing his music.

The early power lockup lets them drive each other to the ropes but it’s only good for a standoff. They do it again with HHH’s running shoulder having no effect other than waking HHH up a bit. Another shoulder drops Batista but he’s right back up with something close to a powerslam. Batista hits a backdrop, only to have HHH knock him outside to cut the momentum off again.

Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps and Flair gets in some choking with the jacket. Back in and HHH gets two off a suplex, setting up more Flair choking. Whatever emotion the fans had for Batista after that HHH entrance is long gone now as HHH has beaten him down for about seven of the eight minutes the match has been going so far. Batista slugs away but walks into the spinebuster, because of course HHH needs to hit a spinebuster as he dominates Batista in the biggest match of Batista’s career.

A backdrop breaks up the Pedigree attempt but HHH is RIGHT BACK with the facebuster, leaving him on defense for all of three seconds. HHH goes up and gets clotheslined out of the air to no reaction as the fans are gone. They’re smart enough to realize that HHH is going to cut Batista off again and, as expected, Batista charges into a big boot in the corner just a few seconds later. Batista sends HHH over the corner, only to have HHH whip him into the steps.

The Pedigree onto the steps is countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got some blood. Back in and it’s time to hammer on the cut as the fans finally have something to cheer about. The big running clothesline in the corner rocks HHH and a powerslam gets two as there isn’t quite the energy in the offense that you would expect. It feels like they’re just doing stuff to fill time until the ending instead of of building something up.

Batista sends him outside but goes after Flair, allowing HHH to grab the chair, which hits the referee by mistake. Flair’s belt shot is countered with a spinebuster but HHH’s belt shot gets two. The fans react to the kickout and Batista hits the spinebuster for the big reaction. That’s too much cheering for HHH’s liking so he hits Batista low. Batista blocks the Pedigree with raw power though and hits something like White Noise. The Batista Bomb finally makes Batista champion.

Rating: C. It was miles better than Cena vs. JBL but egads this didn’t do Batista any favors. This was more about giving HHH a big sendoff as champion than making Batista look like a star and….I can’t say I’m surprised. Batista has looked so dominant and smart for the last six weeks that HHH probably couldn’t help himself from cutting him off. HHH did put him over, but it could have been a lot stronger without HHH beating him up and outsmarting him for the first half of the match. Much like the previous match though, it’s all about what comes next rather than what happened here, but HHH made sure to make himself look good.

The big celebration and highlight package wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. Much like last year, this really needed forty five minutes to an hour trimmed off (and again it’s easy to see what should be gone) to make it great. As it is it’s quite good but there are a lot of times where it felt like it was dragging. The two World Title matches were outclassed by Money in the Bank and Shawn vs. Angle (not exactly shocking on either front) but they got the endings right and aside from the sumo match and Piper’s Pit (which wasn’t that long), only the very short women’s match is bad (and that has various other positives).

What we got here was a strong Wrestlemania, but it needed some time trimmed off to really make it great. That being said, this is still far better than the five hour monstrosities we get now. It’s a completely watchable, at times great and very important show though, meaning it feels like Wrestlemania. The streak of good Wrestlemanias continues, though the show getting longer isn’t the most encouraging sign. Check out the ladder match and Shawn vs. Angle if you have the time though as they’re worth a second look (or nineteenth look in some cases).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Elimination Chamber 2018
Date: February 25, 2018
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Paradise, Nevada
Attendance: 15,126
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania XXXIV and that means we need to crown Roman Reigns as the #1 contender all over again. Brock Lesnar is waiting for the winner at Wrestlemania and you know how much WWE loves that match. Other than that, the Raw Women’s Title is also on the line in the Elimination Chamber. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Gallows And Anderson vs. Miztourage

For those of you who have forgotten, that would be Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas. Axel grabs a headlock and then a front facelock on Anderson to start. Some right hands keep Anderson in trouble so it’s off to Gallows, who dubs Axel a nerd and hammers away. It’s back to Anderson, who gets punched by Dallas a few times to take over again. Anderson gets in his HI YAH kick but misses a blind tag, meaning he gets shoved off the top as we take a break.

Back with Anderson still in trouble with the Tourage taking turns pounding away in the corner. A belly to back suplex gets Anderson out of trouble though and it’s…not enough to bring Gallows back in. The running boot to the face is though, with Gallows getting to clean house. It’s already back to Anderson, who gets taken down, but manages to send Dallas into the ropes to crotch Axel on top. The Magic Killer finishes Axel at 8:50.

Rating: C. It was a total run of the mill match, but this is what I want in a Kickoff Show match. They got in, had one match, and then got out before they overstayed their welcome. Yeah it could have been on any given house show, but that also means you’re just kind of warming the fans up rather than giving them some big match. Perfectly fine match, though it does show why the tag division isn’t exactly memorable around this time.

The opening video looks at this show being one of the last major stops on the way to Wrestlemania, with the winners getting a guaranteed spot on the show. Normally I would mock the idea of wrestlers having no path to Wrestlemania, but that was exactly what they would wind up doing with John Cena this year.

We recap the Women’s Elimination Chamber, which was announced by Stephanie McMahon (of course) as the next big thing the women are getting to do for the first time. There is also tension between Bayley and Sasha Banks, who are both in the match anyway. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville are friends too, but they’re on a bit better page.

Raw Women’s Title: Women’s Elimination Chamber

Alexa Bliss is defending and this is the first ever women’s edition of the match. Sonya Deville is in at #1 and Bayley is in at #2 to get things going with five minute intervals. Deville wrestles her to the mat without much trouble to start as Bayley isn’t quite on that level. Bayley gets smart by sending her into the buckles instead, even throwing in a glare at Bliss.

Deville gets in a shot of her own though and catapults Bayley into the Chamber wall, which Bayley manages to grab in a cool counter. Back in and Bayley misses an elbow and things get to reset a little bit. Bayley knocks her onto the floor for the big elbow and two before grabbing the chinlock.

Mandy Rose is in at #3 so Bayley goes after her, even managing to knock Deville back as well. The numbers game starts to get the better of Bayley though and Deville spears her down before a double ram into the wall gets two. Rose drops her for two more and Deville has to yell at the referee. Bayley gets sent into the cage again and it’s Sasha Banks in at #4 to give us something of a tag match.

Banks starts fast by sending Rose into the pod over and over but Deville is back up. Deville drops Banks for two and is the only one left standing as Bliss is looking nervous in her pod. Bayley and Banks are back up to send Deville into various hard things but Rose drops Banks to even things up again. A faceplant drops Banks but for some reason Rose doesn’t cover, allowing Banks to pull her into the Bank Statement for the elimination at 13:53.

Mickie James is in at #5 and cleans house, including a double clothesline to Bayley and Banks. Bayley gets dropped with a neckbreaker and then flapjacks Banks into a nipup. A hurricanrana takes Deville down on the outside and a heck of a kick to the face drops Banks. For some reason James climbs the cage and, after kicking Bayley down, hits a super Thesz press from the top of the pod to pin Deville at 17:34.

Banks is right back up with a Backstabber into the Bayley To Belly to plant James though and we’re down to three at 17:59. Bliss panics in her pod as Bayley and Banks are fine with sitting around waiting for Bliss to come in. Bliss is in at #6 to complete the field so she tries to hide in the pod, then climbs up the Chamber wall. The other two go after her and all three wind up on top of a pod…where Banks kicks Bayley down (and the fans approve). Bliss tries to beg off from Banks, who is jumped by Bayley, allowing Bliss to jump Bayley for a change.

Bayley fights up with a suplex but gets tackled into the corner by Banks in short order. Banks gets tied in the Tree Of Woe so Bayley can stomp away, only to get superplexed by Bliss. A frog splash to Bayley gives Banks two and everyone is down again. Back up and Banks sends Bayley into the buckle but takes too long, allowing Bayley to hit a super Bayley To Belly as there are way too many B’s in this match. Bliss (See what I mean?) takes care of that by rolling Bayley up for the elimination at 25:32 and we’re down to two.

Bliss takes her time getting up and Twisted Bliss hits raised knees. Banks misses a running boot though and gets her leg caught in the wall, allowing Bliss to take her down again. That’s not enough for Bliss, who goes up for Twisted Bliss from the top of the pod to the floor. The falls only count inside though and Banks is able to get a quick Bank Statement. That’s broken up so Banks starts to climb, only to be sent into the pod. A top rope hanging DDT retains Bliss’ title at 29:37.

Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the three two person teams (James and Bliss were close enough) were a nice way to tie things together. Bliss surviving over both Banks and Bayley is believable with the two of them fighting, but she felt like she escaped rather than surviving. It’s good enough, even if it never quite got into that next level. For a first edition though, it worked.

Post match Bliss can’t believe she won and says the win means everything to her. She says this is about every girl and woman in the audience who ever dreamed big. This proves you can be whatever you want to be so dare to dream and dream big. She’s looking out at the people and the reality is…none of them will ever accomplish their dreams. Tonight, she proved that no one is better than her and she just won, despite no one believing in her. Bliss was laying it on thick and it felt like the turn was coming, though it still worked.

Braun Strowman is waiting to get inside the Chamber. Oh geez I had forgotten about the “wrestlers use their own phones for promos” period.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Titus Worldwide vs. The Bar

Titus Worldwide (Titus O’Neil and Apollo (hold the Crews) with Dana Brooke) is challenging after beating the Bar in a non-title match. The Bar jumps them before the bell but get clotheslined for their efforts. Apollo hits a big dive to the floor (thankfully not injuring himself on Sheamus’ mohawk as he’s in his Taxi Driver phase) and the match officially starts. Cesaro seems to be favoring his leg as Apollo hits a top rope splash for two. Back up and Apollo gets sent outside and we settle down a bit.

Cesaro grabs the chinlock before handing it back to Sheamus for an armbar. That’s broken up so Cesaro grabs a front facelock, which is broken up as well. Sheamus is right there to cut off the tag again though and the armbar goes on again (he’s nothing if not consistent). Cesaro grabs another chinlock, which is broken up, but Sheamus is right there to break up another tag attempt.

Sheamus cheap shots O’Neil off the apron but misses a charge into the post, allowing the diving tag off to O’Neil. Some big boots give O’Neil two but Cesaro leapfrogs him for a blind tag to Sheamus. That doesn’t work either as O’Neil pulls Sheamus out of the air for Clash Of The Titus. Apollo hits a dive onto the champs and a high crossbody gets two on Sheamus. Cesaro takes out Apollo’s knee though and it’s a White Noise/springboard spinning uppercut combination to retain the titles at 10:04.

Rating: C. This was little more than an extended Raw match as Titus Worldwide didn’t feel like the most serious challengers. They were a fun enough team, but that’s not enough to beat the rather serious Bar. The match was fine, but I’m not sure how much drama there was about a title change.

We recap Asuka vs. Nia Jax. Asuka is going to Wrestlemania after winning the Royal Rumble but Jax is going after her. If Jax wins, she’s added to the Wrestlemania title match.

Jax crushes an Asuka match in the back.

We look at Asuka’s undefeated streak, which is now in danger. This gets a rather good deal of time, breaking down the streak in a Rumble By The Numbers style.

Nia Jax vs. Asuka

There is still something creepy about Asuka’s match showing up on the Titantron at the start of her entrance. Asuka starts fast with a dropkick but gets dropped with a single headbutt. As tends to be her custom, Asuka is right back up to go after her again, only to be knocked down again. A knee to the back cuts Asuka down again and a backbreaker has her in more trouble. The running elbow gets a delayed two and Jax shrugs off a kneebar attempt. Asuka comes back with a quick guillotine, which is muscled up into a Jackhammer for another power counter.

Back up and Asuka fires off some kicks, only to get countered into the Samoan drop as this is one sided so far. The big legdrop misses though and a sliding kick gives Asuka two. Some more strikes put Jax on her knee, where she screams, only to be shut up by a running kick to the face. Jax catches her on top but Asuka grabs a sunset bomb for a huge crash. A missed charge sends Jax’s shoulder into the post and we hit the cross armbreaker. That’s broken up with a powerbomb into the corner as the fans are getting more into this. Jax picks her up for a powerbomb but Asuka reverses into a victory roll for the pin at 8:11.

Rating: B-. This was a good example of telling a story in a match as Asuka wasn’t getting anywhere with her usual stuff. She was up against a different kind of opponent and had to find openings where she could to win. I liked the match a lot more than I was expecting to and that’s always nice to see.

Post match Jax beats up Asuka again, including a spear through the barricade.

Alexa Bliss is happy with what just happened to Asuka. No one is ready for Alexa.

Asuka is helped out. It feels like there is a lot of time filler on this show.

Roman Reigns (mixed reaction) is asked about some recent comments. Reigns: “Do I look like the kind of guy who cares what Paul Heyman has to say?” He’s not worried about Brock Lesnar, but tonight he’s winning the Elimination Chamber and going to Wrestlemania to take Lesnar out.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy. Wyatt beat Hardy, who became Broken/Woken and started talking about various weird things, as they both tended to do. This gives us creepy Wyatt vs. Broken Matt, which is as odd as you can get.

Bray Wyatt vs. Matt Hardy

Hardy makes his entrance, then the lights go out and Wyatt appears in the ring…but only Hardy’s robe is left. We get a Hardy voiceover promising to make Wyatt obsolete, with Hardy singing some of Jeff Hardy’s Obsolete song. Wyatt goes looking for Hardy, who appears on the steps and the fight is on, including the opening bell.

Hardy wastes no time in knocking him down but Wyatt does his upside down lean in the corner. That earns Wyatt some applause, with the fans joining in. A DDT drops Hardy for two but Wyatt is back up for the running crossbody. Wyatt knocks him down again and we hit the chinlock as commentary makes various jokes to mostly ignore the match. The fans are clearly distracted by something else as the chinlock continues.

The hold is broken up and they head to the apron for a slugout, with Hardy being knocked out to the floor. Wyatt plants him again out there for two back inside and he’s….I guess frustrated? Hardy gets a boot up in the corner though and a tornado DDT drops Wyatt for two. The Side Effect connects for the same and the middle rope elbow to the back of the head staggers Wyatt again.

Wyatt is frustrated enough that he hits the release Rock Bottom into the backsplash for two of his own. The fans chant for Rusev as this match just keeps going, though Wyatt missing a middle rope backsplash brings them back to reality. Well as realistic as this is going to be. Sister Abigail is loaded up but Hardy reverses into the Twist Of Fate for the win at 9:56.

Rating: D. This was a great illustration of why the Broken/Woken stuff did not work in WWE. The appeal of this stuff in TNA was that everything was so low budget that it could be the focal point. Here though you have something as grand as the Elimination Chamber and bigger stars, which make this feel really low rent and, in short, stupid. The match wasn’t very good either, making this quite the chore.

We recap Ronda Rousey debuting last month at the Royal Rumble in a pretty awesome moment. Well, minus all of the bad smiling and awkward sign pointing.

Various wrestlers talk about how tough and awesome Rousey really is.

Here is Raw General Manager Kurt Angle for Rousey’s official contract signing, joined by Raw Commissioner (because each show needed TWO bosses) Stephanie McMahon and HHH. McMahon and HHH talk about how great Rousey is and how no one has been a bigger deal since Angle himself. Rousey comes out and looks more serious than in her debut, which is a nice upgrade.

Rousey says she can’t believe she’s here and talks about how much this means to her, only to have the fans’ ROUSEY chants cut her off. She thanks Roddy Piper for being her inspiration and hopes she can make his family proud. HHH gets down to business and asks if Rousey wants any perks in her contract, but Rousey wants to be treated like anyone else. The only thing she wanted is an invite to Wrestlemania, but she’ll also be having her first match at Wrestlemania.

Rousey is about to sign, but Angle says he’s in awe of HHH and McMahon. They’ve been talking about Rousey for a long time now, because they wanted to manipulate and humiliate her after what she did to them at Wrestlemania 31. Angle: “Isn’t that what you said Hunter? Three years in the making and now we own the b****?” HHH cuts that off in a hurry and tries to get Rousey back to her dreams while saying Angle has the flu.

With the guys gone, McMahon has Rousey almost ready to sign, but Angle pops up to say McMahon had been calling Rousey a has been. The death stare is back and so is HHH, who has to save his wife’s life. McMahon leaves so Rousey puts HHH through the table, earning herself the big slap. Then….Rousey just lets her leave before signing. This was pretty long, but it set up the obvious mixed tag for Rousey’s debut at Wrestlemania.

Commentary talks about what we just saw.

Fastlane rundown.

John Cena is worried about having no path to Wrestlemania, continuing one of the dumbest ideas in wrestling.

We recap the men’s Elimination Chamber, which is all about getting to go to Wrestlemania and challenge Brock Lesnar. This year’s edition has seven people, because a structure literally designed for six people has to be changed due to reasons of WWE being screwy. All of them want to win, but there isn’t much hiding that this is going to be Roman Reigns.

Men’s Elimination Chamber

Before we get going, Elias has to promise that he’s going to Wrestlemania, albeit in song form. The fans do seem to like the WALK WITH ELIAS deal and he’s entering last for an advantage. The song is dedicated to himself, because Las Vegas doesn’t get a song. The fans aren’t appreciative so Elias threatens to go sit in his pod. Then he sings anyway, because that’s what a heel would do.

Braun Strowman FINALLY interrupts as the entrances continue, along with the filler. After a good ten minutes of entrances, including Strowman scaring Miz from inside his pod in a funny bit, Miz Rollins is in at #1, Seth Rollins is in at #2 and Finn Balor is in at #3 to actually start this off (in a Wrestlemania preview) with five minute intervals.

Miz suggests an early alliance with Rollins to go after Balor and gets nowhere. Balor isn’t interested in teaming up with Miz either, but he’ll team up with Rollins to go after Miz in a funny bit. Miz is quickly thrown over the top and the alliance ends with Rollins grabbing a rollup for two. A dropkick cuts Rollins down and a basement version drops Miz again. Rollins kicks Balor down for two and it’s off to an exchange of rollups for two each. Balor gets caught in a backbreaker and a springboard clothesline takes Miz down again. There’s the Falcon Arrow for two on Miz, who landed hard on his shoulder.

Rollins hits a double Blockbuster for two each and it’s John Cena in at #4, even sticking his tongue out at Rollins in a weird look. They stare each other down before the fight is on, with Cena beating up Rollins and Miz at the same time. Balor gets back up but it’s Rollins knocking all of them into a corner for a string of running forearms. Cena isn’t having that and fireman’s Rollins and Balor at the same time. Both of them escape the AA though and Miz neckbreakers Rollins for two. Cena and Rollins both hit superplexes and everyone is down, with Roman Reigns coming in at #5.

Reigns gets to hammer away a bit before getting in a showdown with Rollins. They’re rammed into each other though and Miz DDTs Rollins for a fast two. Miz is the only one standing and he eventually starts firing off YES Kicks to all of the others before focusing on Reigns. This goes as well as you might have expected but the comeback is cut off by Balor. Reigns powerbombs him straight down and gets in a Samoan drop for two on Cena.

Braun Strowman is in at #6 and it’s a staredown with Reigns, only for Strowman to go after everyone else. Rollins and Cena get suplexed at the same time before Strowman literally throws Balor around. Miz climbs the Chamber wall…and Strowman goes right after him for some rams into the wall. Then Miz is thrown onto a pile in the ring for quite the visual. Everyone is down and Strowman is waiting on Elias, the only person left to enter. The running powerslam gets rid of the Miz for our first elimination at 20:18.

Elias comes in at #7 to complete the field but realizes that Strowman is waiting on him. Everyone but Elias goes after Strowman and they get together for a Shield Bomb for two. The AA gets one, followed by the spear, Stomp and Coup de Grace but everyone (save for the podded Elias) brawls, leaving Strowman down instead. Elias comes in to cover everyone not named Strowman and then takes turns beating on most of the people. A top rope elbow gets two on Rollins and the spinning powerbomb hits Reigns for the same.

Strowman misses a charge into the post but Elias can’t electric chair him up. That means the powerslam can get rid of Elias at 25:52. Rollins knees Strowman down and Cena goes up, only to dive into a powerslam to give Strowman another elimination at 27:23. Strowman and Balor slug it out, with Balor getting some boots up in the corner. Balor is back up with a Coup de Graces to Reigns but Strowman powerslams Balor at 30:40.

We’re down to three so Reigns and Rollins agree to team up against the monster, which doesn’t get the reaction you might expect. Strowman gets low bridged out to the floor for a ram into the Chamber wall. Then Rollins, like a schnook, turns on Reigns with a Buckle Bomb but Reigns Superman Punches him down. Strowman is back up and chases Rollins up a pod but gets pulled down with Reigns’ Samoan drop. Ever the slightly crazy man, Rollins drops a frog splash off the pod for two and Reigns gets back in. That’s fine with Strowman, who dropkicks him to the floor and powerslams Rollins for the pin at 36:33.

We’re down to two and Strowman invites Reigns to “COME GET THESE HANDS BOY!” Reigns gets shoved out to the floor but escapes a powerslam and sends him into the wall. The big dive over the top hits Strowman, but it doesn’t look as good when they’re at the same height. Strowman gets knocked through the pod but doesn’t stay down long, allowing Reigns to hit a Superman Punch as the fans aren’t pleased. Another Superman Punch sets up a blocked spear so Reigns hits a third Superman Punch. Two spears finish Strowman to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 40:11.

Rating: B-. And there it is. Strowman gets to be this big dominant force in the Chamber and has the all time performance, which would be a clean sweep in any other Chamber, but instead, Reigns wins AGAIN. That was the problem for WWE at this point as it was ALL about Reigns. John Cena was in this match and was a complete afterthought, along with other multiple former World Champions. But it sets up Reigns for another Lesnar match and that’s all that matters.

Post match Strowman powerslams Reigns and sends him through a pod to end the show. Now in theory this would set up some kind of Reigns vs. Strowman showdown, but nah, as Strowman would spend a few weeks beating up Elias before going to Wrestlemania where he would pick a ten year old out of the crowd to win the Tag Team Titles. Which he would then forfeit. Then he would win Money In The Bank. And lose the cash-in when Lesnar interfered. Then he would lose to Lesnar for the vacant title. But at least he ALMOST got to beat Reigns here right?

Overall Rating: C-. I was kind of looking forward to seeing this show again as this period isn’t the most fondly remembered. After a few years away, I was wondering if it really was as bad as remembered and….it’s really just dull. There is nothing on here that is must see, with the two Chamber matches being the highlights. Even those matches were just ok, as Bliss keeps the title and Reigns gets to move on to his next destiny Wrestlemania main event. The rest of the show is completely skippable (save for MAYBE the contract signing) with nothing you need to see. I’m glad to be away from this era, as it lives down to its legacy.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This one is very interesting as the TV leading up to the show has been a cross between boring and really bad, yet the show has one of the best reputations of all time. I’m really curious to see how it goes from such a bad build to such a great show, especially with so much emphasis on Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely and Storm are defending with Morely acting as the new champion due to William Regal being injured. The Dudleys are on the floor in forced servitude to Morely and Eric Bischoff. Van Dam kicks Morely out to the floor to start and it’s Kane diving onto the champs for a cool visual as we take a break. Back with the champs in control and Morely grabbing a chinlock. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as the announcers rip on Morely. The Money Shot misses and it’s off to Kane for the house cleaning.

Storm breaks out of a chokeslam and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. There’s the top rope clothesline for two with Morely making the save, only to eat a jumping kick to the face. The chokeslam looks to set up the Five Star but Rob comes inside before jumping to the top. Morely shoves him off, which makes me think there was some mistiming there. The distraction lets the Dudleys hit a 3D on Storm….and an elbow on Van Dam so the champs can retain the titles.

Rating: D+. That’s certainly how you warm a crowd up. If ever there was a time for an easy title change to give the fans something to cheer for, it should have been this right here. When you consider how soon Kane and Van Dam would get the titles anyway, this really seems like a big head scratcher.

The opening video shows wrestlers getting ready with a collection of voiceovers talking about how important this one night really is. This treats the event with a lot more respect and it’s quite the effective idea. It shows that everyone is in awe of the event itself and makes it feel even bigger.

And now, the theme song Crack Addict. So much for the respect part.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, defending here and accompanied by Shannon Moore, is appearing in his fourth Wrestlemania and often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him. Mysterio is dressed like Daredevil, starting the awesome tradition of dressing like a superhero (most of the time) at Wrestlemania.

Matt is sent outside early on and Rey busts out a corkscrew dive to take both of them down. Rey can’t hit a sunset bomb to the floor so Matt drops him onto the barricade to take over. The Ricochet gets two as Tazz talks about Matt being off the banana juice and moving to tea. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but Matt grabs the Side Effect for two. As Cole talks about loving latex and teabagging (seriously), Matt misses a charge into the post and Rey gets two off a crossbody.

Shannon breaks up the 619 though and now the Twist of Fate gets two. Splash Mountain is loaded up but Rey reverses with a hurricanrana for two more. Shannon makes the save so Rey takes him down before hitting the 619 on Matt. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Matt grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as you want something fast paced but don’t want to overstay your welcome. They were in and out in less than six minutes, which is pretty close to the sweet spot for an opener. Mysterio winning probably would have been the better option but at least he didn’t get the title a week later or something like that.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. I’m with Lance Storm: it’s nonsense that these two got time and the seven minute Tag Team Title match got stuck on Heat.

Nathan Jones was laid out earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. Again, Tag Team Titles on Heat in a short match but time for this.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

A-Train messes with Undertaker’s bike on the way to the ring. If I had a dollar for every time a hairy chested man with nipple piercings adjusted the mirror on my motorcycle….well I’d be poor as I don’t have a motorcycle but the rest happens more often than you would think. Show tries a sneak attack but gets sent to the floor so Undertaker can chokeslam A-Train for two.

Undertaker actually leapfrogs A-Train and drops him with Old School as they’re certainly moving in the early going. A Derailer cuts Undertaker off and Show posts him for good measure. It’s off to Show whose chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. A-Train’s save is countered into a cross armbreaker so Show gets to make a save of his own. We hit an abdominal stretch as Cole wants to know if Undertaker’s stamina is going to hold up after such a long layoff due to injury. We’re four minutes into the match and Undertaker has been back from injury for almost TWO AND A HALF MONTHS Cole, you pathetic nitwit.

A-Train puts on an abdominal stretch of his own and Tazz shows how to do his job by suggesting things Undertaker should do to escape/relieve the pressure. I get that they have different jobs but at least Tazz is saying stuff that makes sense and doesn’t sound stupid. A-Train talks trash and throws some punches until Undertaker mostly misses the running DDT (he was barely touching A-Train).

Running corner clotheslines have the monsters in trouble until A-Train gets in the bicycle kick. Show hits his chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to kick Show’s head off. A-Train takes a big boot from Jones (because the referee doesn’t understand disqualifications) and the Tombstone is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not a bad power match here as I can buy the idea of Undertaker holding his own against these two for eight minutes, especially after he’s shown he can beat them both on his own. The fact that Jones couldn’t even be trusted to wait for people to run into his kicks is incredibly telling and pretty much spells the end of his career.

The Catfight Girls meet Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson, who are standing around looking at Torrie’s Playboy. As various gorgeous women just do. Stacy has a new marketing campaign idea for them and they all leave together.

We take a quick look at the Tag Team Title match from Heat. Add this to the stuff that could have been cut in exchange of just airing the match.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Jazz jumps the champ from behind to start fast and it’s already time for a modified Muta Lock on Trish. Trish gets knocked outside as Lawler thinks this should turn into a love triangle. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two on Trish but has to powerslam Jazz for two.

It’s back to Trish as JR tries to figure out why King called her a quarter among pennies. A sitout powerslam gives Jazz two on Trish but it’s time for a fight with her fellow villain. Jazz kicks Victoria down but gets rolled up for two, followed by the Chick Kick for the same. Victoria gets sent outside, leaving Trish to get caught in the STF.

With Victoria distracting the referee, Richards breaks up the hold so Victoria and Trish can trade rollups (with Victoria’s tights being pulled rather low) for two each. Jazz gets knocked outside, leaving Richards to swing a chair but hit the top rope and knock it back into his own head. The Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title back at 7:18.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as they kept things tight and had everyone moving the entire time, including Richards with the chair to his own head. It made Trish look like the one who survived until the end, though at some point she’s going to have to beat Jazz. You can do that later though as this was all about getting her the title and I’d prefer her to pin the champ than the other challenger.

Rock doesn’t want to hear about the people because they’ve been booing him and calling him a sellout. It’s true that he’s a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s in. Rock has lost to Austin twice at Wrestlemania but Hollywood has taught him that the third act is all that matters.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Team Angle

Team Angle is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The challenging team both beat on a champ until it settles down to Chavo vs. Haas. A dropkick puts Charlie down and it’s off to Benoit, who runs into an armdrag from Guerrero. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo but they ram heads for a double knockdown.

Benoit brings Rhyno in to powerslam Eddie and it’s already off to Benjamin as they’re keeping the pace fast here. A double dropkick gets two on Rhyno but Haas gets taken into the Rhyno corner for a double stomping. Eddie stomps on Rhyno and gets taken into the same corner that Haas got caught in. Benoit catches Eddie on the top with a superplex for two as Benjamin makes the save.

That’s fine with Chris who throws Eddie into the air and pulls him down into the Crossface for a sweet move but Haas makes a save this time. Chavo and Haas come in and everything breaks down. The rolling German suplexes have Chavo in trouble but Benoit walks into a superkick from Benjamin. A legdrop gets two with Eddie dropping a frog splash for the save. Haas suplexes Chavo but turns into the Gore. Chavo eats one as well, only to have Benjamin steal the pin to retain the titles at 8:46.

Rating: B-. I don’t remember liking this one this much but they didn’t stop for the entire match. Benoit and Rhyno are still an odd choice for a tag team but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were setting up for Benoit and Edge in this spot before he got hurt. Team Angle needed this win and that’s the right call out of the three options.

Torrie and Stacy get in a fight over whether Vince or Hulk created Wrestlemania. The Catfight Girls do the same (though one of them keeps calling him Holgan) and agree to settle this in bed.

King is mesmerized.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Chris seems jealous that Shawn is back and getting attention. He’s wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but now he wants to be the first Chris Jericho by defeating Shawn at Wrestlemania. This has been a long build but they’ve been smart to wait until here for the match. Shawn accepted the challenge with a superkick and telling Jericho that he would see him at Wrestlemania in a moment I always liked.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to fire some confetti cannons on the way to the ring but some of them fail to go off, prompting an “eh what are you going to do” look. Jericho on the other hand just looks down at him in disdain in the perfect response. Some early armdrags frustrate Jericho so Shawn lounges on the top rope.

Back up and Shawn kicks him away without too much effort as they’re still firmly in first gear. Jericho is ready for a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face, earning himself a right hand to the jaw and a trip to the floor. Back in and Jericho scores with a spinwheel kick but a bulldog is countered with a good crotching. We hit a random Figure Four but Jericho reverses pretty quickly.

They head outside again with Shawn hitting a nice plancha, only to get caught in the Walls in the aisle. The bad back is sent into the post as Jericho has a big target to work with now. Back in and Jericho yells about how he’s better than Shawn as he stays on the back in a variety of ways. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before Shawn grabs a DDT to get him out of trouble.

Jericho nips up and hits the forearm into Shawn’s pose, which you just don’t do at Wrestlemania. Shawn makes his comeback (with two nipups of his own) and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence (as required by a classic like this) for a couple of twos each. Jericho is Lionsault for two more before countering a hurricanrana into the Walls. Shawn grabs the rope so Jericho elbows him in the jaw and tunes up the band.

Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and the fans seemed to buy that as the finish. Shawn teases the Walls but goes with a catapult into the post for two instead. It’s Jericho up first with a belly to back superplex but Shawn reverses into a crossbody in mid-air for yet another near fall.

The top rope elbow gets the same but the real Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Walls again. Just like last time, Shawn grabs the ropes though this time he follows up with more Chin Music for a very delayed two. Both guys are spent so Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex, only to have Shawn flip over and grab a rollup with his legs for the pin at 22:31.

Rating: A. Oh come on like this one needs an explanation. These two were both on fire here and just had an awesome match. It’s the match that made it clear Shawn had more than just a few performances in him as he felt a lot more like the older version here, which is exactly what the match needed to be. Jericho being able to do every athletic thing Shawn could do but not be able to outsmart him is a perfect story in a similar vein to Shawn vs. Shelton Benjamin a few years later. Great match here and one of the best Shawn had in his comeback.

They hug post match but Jericho kicks him low like the heel he is.

The evil referee from Montreal goes to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit takes their sweet time performing Crack Addict.

Here are the Catfight Girls to fight on a bed set up on stage. Cue Stacy and Torrie to join in. Girls are stripped, pillows are swung and Coach is pantsed and pinned. Again, World Tag Team Titles not on the show but these girls get like four segments.

We recap HHH vs. Booker T. which focuses on Booker’s criminal past. That’s firmly established before the “someone like you doesn’t deserve to be World Champion” line is made. It’s a better way to go about it but there’s no good way to spin that statement. Basically Booker is fighting for his one big moment and HHH is defending because….well because it’s Wrestlemania and what else is he supposed to do?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T.

HHH is defending and comes out first for some reason. JR talks about Booker becoming a five time WCW Champion so King says that place was a joke. JR: “How long did you work there?” King: “Never.” JR: “Well I did.” King: “Was it a joke?” JR: “D*** right.” A hard lockup takes them into the corner where they trade chops and some right hands. Booker charges into a boot to the face and HHH goes up top, only to get armdragged down. You would think Flair would have taught him better but if Ric never learned, HHH didn’t need to either.

The announcers bicker over whether or not Booker was born on a pool table which turns into a discussion of Fink being drunk last night. Booker gets sent outside and goes into the steps as the pace slows a lot (yes, in a HHH match). A neckbreaker gets two on Booker and a spinebuster gets the same.

Booker slips out of a suplex and grabs a DDT for his first offense in a long time. The jumping knee and a facebuster cut Booker off but he comes back with a spinebuster. HHH goes up again for some reason and dives into a boot to the face. Seriously they never learn. The scissors kick only hits ropes and Booker falls out to the floor as he was getting dangerously close to beating up HHH and that must be stopped.

Flair sends Booker’s knee into the steps and it’s time for an Indian Deathlock back inside as we flash back to 1974. Back up and the knee is done but Booker grabs a sunset flip for a fast two. A jumping elbow to the jaw puts HHH down again and there’s the ax kick for no cover.

Flair’s distraction has no effect as Booker hits the Houston Hangover, which thankfully isn’t followed up on because the knee gives out again. They stagger to their feet with Booker’s knee preventing him from trying another ax kick. Instead it’s the Pedigree, the completely ridiculous 24 second wait, and then the pin with one hand over Booker’s chest to retain the title at 18:44.

Rating: C+. And there goes Booker’s main event career for the next few years. Aside from being a somewhat boring match, that ending is unforgivable. There’s no reason to not give Booker the title here, even if it’s just until Backlash. The leg stuff at the end was better but this was WAY too much HHH with Booker only having a few hope spots here and there. He didn’t even get the big two count at any point. This was all about HHH establishing that he is the one and only star on Raw no matter what and that’s a major problem. Booker needed this win, or at least anything other than a clean loss.

Long recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon for the show’s real main event. Basically Vince suddenly decided that he hated Hogan for leaving the company ten years ago and testifying against him in the steroids trial so they had to have a fight. This was suddenly elevated to the biggest match of all time despite there not really being a clear reason why Vince started hating Hogan in the first place. If it was mentioned at the start, it was completely bogged down in all the mess that followed. This is at worst the second biggest match on the show and while not surprising, that’s probably not the best idea in the world.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight and if Hogan loses, he has to retire. Hogan “spears” Vince down because that’s the kind of thing Hogan is known to do. Some slow motion (expect to hear that a lot in this one) right hands have Vince in trouble and Hulk stomps him in the corner. A clothesline gives Vince a breather and he throws those awkward punches. Now it’s off to an armbar because that’s what you want to see from these two in a street fight.

Hogan fights out of the test of strength but Vince is smart enough to kick him in the gut. That’s so effective that they do it three straight times before Vince sends him outside. Hogan gets posted but still manages to avoid a chair shot. Instead it’s Hulk chairing Vince in the head and of course we’ve got some blood (you knew that was coming and you know it’s coming from Hulk too).

More chair shots have Vince reeling, though not enough to knock him out, because Vince is more manly than your average wrestler. Another chair shot hits the Spanish announcer in the head because this match needed additional casualties. Vince low blows him and gets in his own chair shot to draw Hogan’s blood as this is already dragging. And now…..it’s ladder time, which certainly picks things up a bit.

A monitor shot to the head puts Hogan on the table and Vince climbs up, puts his hand to his ear, and drops a leg (which doesn’t hit Hogan but it’s a great visual nonetheless) to destroy the table and freak the crowd out all over again. Vince throws Hogan inside and grabs a pipe from underneath the ring. In the visual of the match, Vince very slowly raises his bloody head over the apron and gives the kind of evil smile that only he can pull off. It’s a great shot too and makes up for a lot of this match.

Hogan hits him low to put both guys down….and here’s Roddy Piper, looking so out of shape that he makes Hogan look great. Piper teases hitting both of them before knocking Hogan out with the pipe (Why this is considered a surprise is beyond me. They’re mortal enemies whose feud was the reason for the first Wrestlemania main event. Why was him attacking Hogan ever in doubt?).

That’s only good for two so Vince beats up the referee, drawing out the evil referee from earlier in the night, along with a regular referee. Vince pipes Hogan again, giving us that flopping around like a fish selling. It’s Hulk Up time with Hulk beating up both Vince and the evil referee. The big boot and three legdrops finish Vince at 20:48.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen this match several times and it’s actually grown on me a lot. The expectations were through the floor coming in and it’s a pretty fun old people brawl. It’s dumb, goofy fun and while it’s WAY too long (you could easily cut eight minutes if not more), it’s one of those matches where you knew what you were getting and that’s exactly what was delivered. Vince’s complete over the top visuals made it even better. It’s not good of course but it’s fun, which is a lot more important for something like this.

Hogan poses as Shane comes out to check on his father. We get a staredown but Hogan seems to understand that he doesn’t have any issues with Shane.

You can already hear Cole’s voice giving out.

We recap Steve Austin vs. The Rock. This is ALL about Rock as Austin is on fumes and it’s not exactly a secret. Basically Rock is ticked off about being booed last year in Toronto and turned into the most amazing heel in the world as a result. The only thing he has left to do in his career is beat Austin at Wrestlemania and this is probably his last chance. This gets the music video treatment but it can only get so far when one person is doing 90% of the work in the feud (not really a criticism of Austin but Rock was just on another planet at this point).

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Writing that one never gets old. The camera follows Austin from behind in a pretty unique shot which works quite well. They stare each other down to start with Austin hitting the first right hands. The threat of a Stunner sends Rock bailing to the floor so Austin beats him over the announcers’ table and whips him into the steps.

Back in and Austin chokes a bit (that’s somewhat out of character) and gets two off a suplex. Rock gets in a chop block to get a breather with Austin bailing out to the floor. The kicks to the leg have Austin staggering around and Rock wraps the leg around the post. We hit the Sharpshooter with Austin fighting to the ropes as you can really feel the lack of fire in this one.

It’s intense but it’s clear that Austin doesn’t have that high gear anymore. The leg is wrapped around the post again and Rock grabs Austin’s vest. That’s too much for Austin so it’s some bad punches and a double clothesline for another breather. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow get two as Austin is getting some fire going.

A Rock Bottom gives Austin two but Rock comes back with a Stunner. Austin grabs the real thing for two more but Rock cuts him off with a low blow. The vest comes off and the People’s Elbow gets two. The Rock Bottom gets the same, followed by two more to FINALLY put Austin away at 17:55.

Rating: B+. I know there were outside circumstances (Austin spent the previous night in the hospital due to drinking too much alcohol and caffeine) but this would have felt so much bigger as the main event. It’s a very good match and feels big at times but when you have the history that these two have, nothing is going to live up to that standard.

Austin not being able to keep up with Rock was a great way to show that Rock was the better man that night and even with the fire not as hot as before, Austin is still worth seeing at any point. This is another one that’s grown on me and while it might not be as great, it felt important, which is what matters most here.

After thanking Austin for what happened (not audibly but he’s since said that’s what was he was doing), Rock leaves Austin for the big hero’s sendoff. This wasn’t billed as Austin’s farewell but it turned out to be his retirement match. It would have been a great way to close the show, but I get the idea of not wanting that to be the case if Austin couldn’t go. It’s a bit of a disappointment but at least he got the big moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock got cheated out of the title at Survivor Series and has gone on a path of destruction to get it back, including winning the Royal Rumble. Angle has used every possible way out of facing him but tonight he’s out of escapes and has nothing left to do but fight. The fact that his neck is being held together by paperclips and duct tape is just a detail because Angle has a low level of sanity. This feels like a major showdown, which is all you can ask for out of the main event of Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar, with bad ribs, is challenging and can win the title via DQ or countout. Angle grabs a front facelock but Brock throws him off and we’re back to a standoff. Kurt’s headlock has about the same effect but he breaks up Brock’s armbar. Lesnar grabs a powerslam, only to get caught in the first German suplex. Brock pops right to his feet though, sending Angle bailing to the floor as they’re not laying into each other just yet.

Back in and a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”) plants Angle, who cuts off a charge with a boot. A German suplex into the corner messes with the ribs again and it’s off to something like an STF from the side. Angle lets go of the legs and switches to something closer to a Bank Statement. Brock won’t tap so Angle suplexes him with ease. That earns him a spinebuster though, which Angle is crazy to take with such a bad neck.

Brock hits his own suplexes but Angle pops up and rolls some German suplexes of his own. Neither finisher can hit so Angle trips him into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope….which doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Instead Angle switches to a half crab, followed by a running knee to the back. Brock backdrops him to the floor, again because Angle is freaking nuts.

Back in and the Angle Slam gets two, which Cole says has never happened before. I find that very hard to believe. The F5 gets two more but Kurt gets the ankle lock with a grapevine. Brock manages to drag him over to the ropes for the break, followed by another F5. Instead of covering though, Brock heads up top.

In one of the scariest moments in wrestling history, Brock tries a shooting star press (apparently suggested by Johnny Ace) but leaves it short, landing square on his head and knocking himself completely silly. With his eyes glazed over, Brock hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:09.

Rating: A-. This started off rather slowly but then picked up the pace to become one heck of a hard hitting fight. Angle did everything he could with all the suplexes and left it all in the ring in what might have been his last match. Lesnar did everything he needed to do (save for hitting that shooting star) and if he had nailed the finish, this would go up several notches. It’s a great finish and the kind of main event that Smackdown should have put on at this point. Excellent match.

Lesnar is GONE as he tries to pull himself up.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. The more I watch this show, the more I appreciate it. There’s nothing bad on the card with the worst match being either Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train or the street fight and even those are watchable. There’s also a great selection of top matches, though HHH vs. Booker leaves a lot to be desired. That being said, Jericho vs. Shawn, Rock vs. Austin and the main event are more than enough to make this a classic.

My main issue is still the same: the show could use a breather between all of the top matches. I could have gone for swapping in say the women’s triple threat or the Smackdown Tag Team Title match in between the street fight and Rock vs. Austin, just for the sake of a little breathing room. The way it’s done is more than fine though and it would only have been improved with a few tweaks.

Overall, it’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever but I can’t put it above or really near the level of X7. There’s some great stuff here but it’s not enough to top everything that show has to offer. I could easily see this being the second best Wrestlemania of all time (it’s in the top three or four at the absolute worst) and that’s some pretty high levels of quality.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2009
Date: January 25, 2009
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 16,685
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Tazz

It’s another show posted to the WWE Vault and that means it is worth a look. The big feud on Raw is HHH vs. Randy Orton and his Legacy stable and that means it is time for a showdown in the Rumble. Other than that, Edge is trying to get the Smackdown World Title back from Jeff Hardy. Let’s get to it.

We’re in Detroit so naturally there is a car theme.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Hardy backs him into the corner as Striker explains what you need to do to win a title in WWE. Good information but Striker manages to sound annoying no matter what. They head outside with Hardy hitting a hard right hand, followed by a clothesline back inside.

We settle down to Swagger easily wrestling him to the mat, followed by a Gator Roll into a hammerlock. That’s broken up and Hardy grabs his running bulldog out of the corner for two. Swagger runs him over again though and we’re right back to cranking on the arm. A clothesline is blocked and Swagger kicks the bad arm (that’s smart) for two before working on it again.

Back up and Hardy gets smart by using the good arm for a clothesline. Another corner clothesline and bulldog get two on Swagger, setting up the middle rope elbow to the back of the neck for the same. Swagger goes after the arm again and takes Hardy up top, only to get knocked backwards for a not very elevated moonsault to give Hardy two. Back up and the Twist Of Fate is blocked, with Hardy being sent shoulder first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title at 10:28.

Rating: B-. The match was good enough but Swagger really isn’t that interesting. He’s a bigger guy and the Swagger Bomb looked good, but that’s about all he had going for him a lot of the time. Hardy was dropping back down the card and having Swagger beat him here wasn’t exactly a great sign for his career.

Hardy gets a slow walk out and sits on the steps. What a mopey Matt.

Randy Orton arrived earlier today and people weren’t exactly happy with him. He’s rather violent you see.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Phoenix is defending and has Santino Marella with her. Melina gets thrown down a few times to start so she tries striking away. That earns her another knockdown, only for Melina to start working on the arm. Phoenix isn’t having that and powers her up into the air for a drop onto the turnbuckle.

Something like an ankle lock works on Melina’s recent injury, but Phoenix cranks on it so hard that she makes Melina kick herself in the back of the head (that’s rather nuts when you think about it). With that broken up (and probably some leg issues), Melina fights out and gets two off a sunset flip, followed by…I’m not sure what happened but it looked like Melina dove into an atomic drop. Back up and Phoenix seems to try the Glam Slam but gets reversed into a cradle for the pin to make Melina champion at 5:57.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than what you would see from a lot of the women’s division around this point and that shouldn’t be a surprise. That being said, the only thing that really stood out here was Melina kicking herself in the back of the head (not something you often say). Good enough match here, but the women’s division was only starting to get it together again.

We recap JBL challenging John Cena for the Raw world Title. JBL wants the title and, because the economy was a big issue at this point, Shawn Michaels is broke and working for JBL as a result. Basically JBL is offering to pay off Michaels’ debts in exchange for helping him win the title. Michaels hates everything he has to do at the moment but does it because he has no other choice. As usual, JBL is only so interesting and is more surrounded by interesting people than anything else.

JBL tells Michaels that if he wins the title tonight, he’ll pay Michaels off in full and their arrangement is over. Then JBL leaves and Michaels runs into the Undertaker, who says it can be H*** getting to Heaven. And there’s your tease for the Wrestlemania masterpiece.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL is challenging and has Shawn Michaels in his corner. As usual, Cena just looks weird with the Big Gold Belt. Cena headlocks him down to start but JBL reverses into one of his own as they’re starting fairly slowly. Back up and Cena elbows him for two, with JBL bailing to the floor for a chat with Michaels. Cena grabs a bulldog into the Throwback for two and they go outside, where JBL sends him into the steps for two back inside.

The pace slows WAY down (shocking I know) and JBL grabs a chinlock, followed by a side slam for two. Cena gets knocked outside for a whip into the barricade as JBL on offense continues to just kill any match. A superplex is broken up and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser for two as the comeback is on. The AA is broken up so Cena pulls him into the STF, leaving Michaels looking….we’ll go with sleepy.

Michaels touches the ropes so Cena lets it go, only to be kicked out to the floor for a crash. Back in and the Clothesline From JBL gets two but the referee gets bumped (it was a matter of time). Michaels gets in, superkicks JBL, stares a lot, and then superkicks Cena as well. He puts JBL on Cena and goes to leave, seemingly disgusted with himself. Another referee runs in to count two so Cena gets up and hits the AA to retain at 15:28.

Rating: C-. This is a case where the story works well on paper, but it’s just not that interesting. A good bit of that hangs on JBL, who could talk well enough and played an effective role, but he could not hang in the ring. The Michaels part was basically kicking the story to the next month and that’s only so good. Not much to see here, as even with Michaels, JBL felt like more of an annoyance to Cena than any kind of a threat.

We recap Jeff Hardy defending the Smackdown World Title against Edge. Hardy beat Edge (and HHH) at Armageddon back in December for one of the best feel good moments you’ll ever see in WWE. Then bad things started happening to Hardy, from someone nearly running him off the road to pyro burning his face. Someone is out to get Hardy, who thinks that Edge attacked him before Hardy’s title shot at Survivor Series, while Edge wants to prove that Hardy’s win was a fluke by taking the title.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is defending and looks like the kid who got an ugly sweater at Christmas. Before the match, Vickie Guerrero comes out to make it No DQ and Edge has Chavo Guerrero with him. Hardy drives Edge into the corner to start and stomps away, followed by a running forearm. Edge bails out to the floor so Hardy gives chase, only to grab a chair rather than go in unarmed. This takes a bit too long though and Edge kicks him down, which isn’t a huge surprise given how long Hardy took.

That’s shrugged off and Hardy hits a basement dropkick before sending Edge outside for a big dive. Back in and Edge boots him in the face to break up a springboard and Hardy crashes out to the floor. Hardy gets sent into various things, including all three announcers’ tables, before getting kicked down back inside. A waistlock works on Hardy’s ribs and Edge pulls him down by the hair to cut off a comeback.

Edge gets frustrated so he tries a chair of his own but Hardy hits a running shoulder to knock him off the apron. That means a slingshot dive and they fight to the apron, where Hardy drops him again. Since it’s Hardy vs. Edge, Hardy pulls out a ladder and goes up but has to deal with Chavo. Hardy knocks him off the ladder and hits a dive before posting Edge, who has a piece of paper stuck to his back for some reason.

Ever the genius, Hardy hits a dive off the ladder to put Chavo through the announcers’ table (with the ladder slipping out from underneath him as he jumped for a scary near miss). Back in and Hardy gets two off a high crossbody but Edge boots him in the face for a double down. It’s time to take off a turnbuckle pad, which is enough of a delay for Hardy to hit a Whisper In The Wind for two more.

The back and forth continues with an implant DDT to give Edge another near fall. Hardy is back up with the sitout gordbuster, only to be dropped face first onto the exposed buckle for two more. Instead of countering, Edge tries the spear, which is countered into a Twist Of Fate. Cue Vickie to break up the Swanton but Hardy hits it anyway, only for Vickie to pull the referee. Cue Matt Hardy with a chair to cut Vickie off…and then chair Jeff down with a nasty shot to the head. Edge is stunned as he gets the pin and the title back at 19:24.

Rating: B. These two work well together but Jeff couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any more than when he came to the ring looking all upset. Matt’s turn at the end was a surprise way to go, even after the bit of a tease earlier in the night. Jeff fighting off the odds worked well enough, but at the same time he was going move for move with Edge and that part was even better. It was a good match and felt big, but the title change didn’t come off quite as big as the swerve.

We get the series of replays and rather sad voices from the announcers after the big betrayal. For once, they feel mostly earned.

Rumble By The Numbers!

22 winners (in 21 matches, but remember Luger and Hart were co-winners)

598 competitors

36 people that Steve Austin eliminated

11 people that Kane threw out in 2001

11 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

1 woman ever to enter, with Chyna

62:12 that Rey Mysterio lasted in 2006

2 seconds that the Warlord lasted in 1989

3 times that Austin won, the most ever

1, the number with the same amount of winners as number 30. As usual, only Shawn Michaels is mentioned as a winner from that spot

27, which has had 4 winners (John Studd in 1989, Yokozuna in 1993, Bret Hart in 1994, Steve Austin in 2001)

70% of winners who have gone on to win the World Title since 1993.

Some of these have of course been broken since, but dang this works every time.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rey Mysterio is in at #1 and John Morrison is in at #2. Mysterio starts fast by sliding between Morrison’s legs and kicking him in the face but gets sent to the apron rather early. It’s way too early for that so Mysterio is back in with a springboard high crossbody into a rather spinny headscissors. Morrison manages to hang onto the top even through a dropkick and it’s Carlito in at #3.

The apple goes into Morrison’s face and a swinging neckbreaker drops Mysterio. Carlito’s double springboard moonsault hits Morrison and he stomps away in the corner until MVP is in at #4. MVP gets to fire off some shots, including the running boot in the corner, but Mysterio grabs a headscissors to slow him down. Great Khali is in at #5 though and everyone gets focused. They also get beaten up, with Mysterio’s springboard dropkick barely staggering Khali and the Backstabber not working at all. Everyone is down with no one out as Vladimir Kozlov in at #6.

Kozlov goes after Khali and eliminates him without much trouble (that’s fairly impressive) before dumping MVP as well. A spinebuster puts Carlito down and that’s enough to toss him out too. Mysterio strikes away at Kozlov until a headbutt cuts him off but HHH is in at #7 to make things more serious. Some right hands and the facebuster are enough to get rid of Kozlov and things slow down.

Randy Orton is in at #8 and immediately hits the backbreaker on HHH but the RKO is blocked. Morrison breaks up the Pedigree and Mysterio gives Orton a springboard seated senton. There’s a 619 to Morrison as…JTG of Cryme Tyme (who wins a coin toss with Shad Gaspard, naturally with a double sided coin) is in at #9. That goes nowhere so it’s Ted DiBiase Jr. (part of Orton’s Legacy group) in at #10, giving us Mysterio, Morrison, HHH, Orton, JTG and DiBiase.

Morrison and JTG are sent over the top but both hang on and kick away at each other before getting back in. Mysterio has to hang on as well and can’t quite get rid of DiBiase at the same time. Chris Jericho is in at #11 and still has a lot of pyro. Jericho goes right after Orton but switches to HHH, who blocks a questionable Walls attempt. Things slow down a lot until Mike Knox is in at #12.

Knox goes after Mysterio, who he disliked because Knox is a monster. Legacy goes after JTG in a bit of an odd move and it’s the Miz in at #13. Miz and Morrison can’t do much with Orton, who snaps off a string of RKO’s. The Pedigree cuts Orton off though and HHH gets rid of Miz and Morrison at the same time. Finlay, with Hornswoggle, is in at #14 as Mysterio is thrown over the top but lands on Miz and Morrison to save himself in a nice sequence. The brawling goes on around the ring until Cody Rhodes is in at #15 to complete Legacy.

Mysterio tries a springboard at Orton, who RKO’s him out of the air in another sweet visual. Undertaker is in at #16 and the match stops with everyone forming a line to go after him. House is cleaned but only JTG is tossed out, which doesn’t feel overly important. The Snake Eyes/big boot combination hits Rhodes, and speaking of Rhodes, Goldust is in at #17. Goldust slugs away at Rhodes but walks into the RKO, which lets Orton give Rhodes a bit of a lesson. Rhodes throws Goldust out and it’s CM Punk in at #18.

Punk gets to strike away as we hear about some of his career accomplishments. HHH’s Pedigree is countered into the Go To Sleep and Mark Henry is in at #19 as the ring is way too full. A World’s Strongest Slam hits HHH and Shelton Benjamin is in at #20. That gives us Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Henry and Benjamin for a lot of star power but way too many people overall.

Benjamin hits Paydirt on Finlay before running the corner for a double super Paydirt to Jericho and Punk. The Dragon Whip hits Henry as Benjamin is getting in a heck of a run here. William Regal is in at #21 and goes after Punk before Mysterio low bridges Henry out. Kofi Kingston, still Jamaican, is in at #22 and starts striking away, including the Boom Drop to Knox. Benjamin dives at Undertaker in the corner, who kind of spinebusters him down and then tosses him out in a heap.

Mysterio is hanging upside down on the post as Kane is in at #23. Kane goes after DiBiase but stops to stare at the bloody Undertaker. The double chokeslam plants DiBiase and solo versions take down Kingston and Jericho. Regal is tossed by Punk and R-Truth is in at #24. Kane is sent to the apron but manages to hang on, with Legacy just kind of letting him go in a not so bright move.

Rob Van Dam returns in a surprise at #25 and comes in with a top rope kick to Kane. Van Dam fires off a bunch of clotheslines until Brian Kendrick is in at #26. Kendrick gets rid of Kingston, who didn’t have the fancy saves for a few more years. HHH tosses Kendrick and does his staggering around thing. Dolph Ziggler (still relatively new) gets lucky #27 and is tossed out almost immediately by Kane. Rhodes gives Punk an electric chair drop as we get another slow down.

Santino Marella is in at #28 and is clotheslined out by Kane in one second to break the Warlord’s record. Jericho hammers on Undertaker in the corner and…actually doesn’t get Last Rided for a change. Only in the Rumble. Kane can’t quite get rid of HHH as Jim Duggan is in at #29. The big AMERICAN right hands stagger various people to quite the reaction and it’s Big Show in at #30. That gives us a field of Mysterio, HHH, Orton, DiBiase, Jericho, Knox, Finlay, Rhodes, Undertaker, Punk, Kane, R-Truth, Van Dam, Duggan and Show for quite the final grouping.

Kane goes after Show but can’t get very far, leaving Show to eliminate Duggan. Show throws out R-Truth as well but Undertaker can’t do the same to Rhodes. Punk saves himself and strikes away at Show, who still can’t get rid of him. The WMD is enough to knock Punk out though and things are finally/thankfully thinning out a bit. Knox and Mysterio (that’s not much after being in there for so long) are put out at the same time as Hornswoggle comes in for some reason.

Finlay breaks that up but gets thrown out by Kane to get us down to nine. Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Kane and Orton hits the hanging DDT on HHH. Lawler: “This will be worse than being eliminated!” No King, it won’t be. Undertaker wins a slugout with Show and Van Dam hits the Five Star on Orton, only to get tossed by Jericho. Undertaker tosses Jericho and we’re down to Undertaker, Kane, Show, Orton, DiBiase, Rhodes and HHH.

Legacy gets rid of Kane and everyone goes to a corner. A triple team on Undertaker doesn’t work for Legacy, who starts snapping off chokeslams. Undertaker and Show slug it out again until Undertaker kicks him out to the apron. Show gets tossed but pulls Undertaker out with him, setting up yet another feud between these two.

Undertaker and Show brawl into the crowd as it’s down to HHH and Legacy. The trio surrounds HHH, who fires a crotch chop and starts swinging, which doesn’t last long before the beatdown is on. HHH fights out and hits a facebuster and hits a Pedigree on Rhodes. DiBiase is tossed and so is Rhodes, only for Orton to dump HHH for the win at 58:39.

Rating: B-. I haven’t watched this one in a long time and I had a good time with most of it, even with the ring being too full near the end. There is a lot of star power here and most of the deadwood didn’t stay around too long. There were a few good surprises (Van Dam was great) and while HHH and Orton were the only viable options, it felt like there was other stuff going on rather than just waiting around for them to win. Good Rumble here and a nice one to visit after a long time away.

Overall Rating: B. As usual, the Rumble is going to carry the weight of this show because it takes up so much time. That made for a good show this time as the Rumble worked well enough, with the rest of the show supporting it. Well most of it as Cena vs. JBL just did not work very well, but everything else was perfectly fine at worst. It’s a good overall show, especially coming into it completely fresh.

Ratings Comparison

Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

Melina vs. Beth Phoenix

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C-

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B-
2013 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: B-

GEEZ did I just hate Orton when I watched this the first two times? I was surprised to see that I had been consistent in my pretty strong dislike of the Rumble the first two times as it might not be a classic but it’s certainly not a D. The rest of the show mostly lines up, save for the women’s match which was really just ok more than anything else.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6