Summerslam 2002
Date: August 25, 2002
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 14,797
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Jim Ross

Another year and more changes have occurred. The main one is simple: the Brand Split. Yes, Raw and Smackdown are now two separate shows etc. However, there is an Undisputed World Champion and his name is the Rock. He’s defending tonight against the greatest rookie sensation of all time: Brock Lesnar. No one had EVER seen anything like Brock and they likely never will. He took the company and the business by storm, winning the shot by beating RVD in the KOTR final.

There were even rumblings that he could actually win the title tonight but that could never happen. What a silly idea. Your other main event is the return of HBK, facing HHH in what is considered a classic. This show is considered to be a rival to Wrestlemania 17 as the greatest WWF PPV of all time, or at least of the new millennium. Now I watched this show a few months after it aired and I remember it being good but not great. Let’s see if this is as good as it’s built up to be.

Oh also, two months prior to this, a new branch of the National Wrestling Alliance debuted: NWA: TNA.

Oh it’s also WWE now.

No opening video this year. That kind of sucks.

Kurt Angle vs. Rey Mysterio

No real buildup here other than they don’t like each other. Given the amount of matches that they have to put together now, that’s the sacrifice that they had to make I suppose. Angle is wearing red and white stripes with a blue star, making him look like a barber pole. This was back when Rey’s knees weren’t falling apart yet and was close to what he was in WCW, which is to say, amazing. This is about as perfect of a pairing as you could want.

Rey is fast enough to wrestle with heavyweights, while Kurt is small enough and versatile enough to keep up with him. Going for Rey’s ankle makes sense as it could ground him and take away his best asset, so what’s not to like? My answer: nothing. This has been a very  good match so far. The fans are very hot for this too so that’s always a perk. Rey keeps getting closer and closer here but Angle keeps getting up.

What you have to keep in mine here is that at the time, Rey wasn’t a huge star like he is now. He was a rookie that only had a handful of experience outside of the cruiserweight ranks. Think of him like a better Evan Bourne and think of Angle like Jericho. Imagine Bourne and Jericho opening a PPV and Bourne getting so close every time but just not being able to put Jericho away, but Jericho can’t win either. That’s where you get this match.

These guys are killing each other out there and it’s great, as neither can put the other away. Rey gets Angle on the floor but the referee won’t let him dive. Rey says screw it and jumps over the referee and lands on Angle in a sweet looking front flip (Do a barrel roll!).

619 (which in WCW wasn’t an attack but rather a fake out) and West Coast Pop get two as Rey doesn’t know what to do. Rey goes up top and flips forward to avoid Kurt and goes for a hurricanrana. Angle more or less jumps forward and grabs the ankle. He goes to the middle and just cranks on it until Rey taps.

Rating: A+. Awesome match. That’s the only way to describe this. These two just went out there and did it. This was back when Rey was relatively healthy before his knees just got destroyed. He’s still good now, but back then he was insane. Rey in WCW was the most fun I’ve ever had watching a wrestler.

If you think Bourne is good, Rey from back then would run circles around him. This was as close as Rey ever got to that in WWE, and it was great. Find this match and watch it as it’s absolutely great. Screw it, this gets an A+.

Stephanie is mad that Bischoff is in her office but she agrees to share it with him for the night, as she proves she just can’t act.

Ross and Lawler are talking about the show, but for some reason they had them really far away from the ring back then. It made no sense to me and just looked odd.

Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Again, no backstory. We get a clip from them fighting on Raw, including Flair breaking all of Fozzy’s equipment, but it’s never explained why they’re fighting in the first place. This was when Flair was still fairly mobile and not all old and disturbing looking. He was only 52 and still could be decent in the ring. Being in there with Jericho is going to help as Jericho can wrestle Flair’s style, and is smart enough to know how to wrestle a Flair match.

See, Flair is considered one of the best of all time because he knew what he did best and it worked with anyone. Flair had a formula, and all he had to do was plug his opponent into that formula for the majority of the match and then have the finish. This was exactly what he did throughout his career in WCW and it hardly ever failed. Yes, Flair’s matches are pretty standard, but they’re also pretty good. I mean his stuff from when he was in his prime mind you.

Go back and watch some of that stuff from the NWA in the mid to late 80s and tell me if you can find a truly bad match. Now not everything is going to be a classic of course, but he hardly ever had a truly bad match. On the rare occasions that he did, it was because the other guy wanted to run the style of the match, which traditionally meant Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes was notorious for insisting on having his style of match, which worked for him and him alone.

Go watch their Starrcade matches and you’ll see what I mean. It’s just not looking like a normal Flair match and it just isn’t that good. Granted, this could be because Dusty just was awful in the ring as he couldn’t go for more than 5 minutes without resting. He was lazy on a snapmare in that match. It’s one of the most basic moves in wrestling and he’s lazy with it.

Anyway, the point of this rant was that at the end of the day, the reason Flair’s stuff was bad near the end of his career was the matches stopped playing to his strengths and became based on what the other guy could do. Flair made a career out of taking a guy that was good and making him great by making him look great.

Look at Sting. He was a good wrestler, but his rivalry with Flair is where he got noticed, because Flair made him look great. In WWE, Vince didn’t let this happen and it caused Flair to look bad and the guys that were against Flair didn’t look as good as they could have.

Ok, rant over at least for now. Once I get going in those things I just can’t stop. For some reason we don’t have Flair’s normal music. It’s the weird imitation that he had back in 92. We’re a minute into this match and they’re already talking about how he beat Rock and Austin in one night. My goodness that is never going to leave. It’s a huge deal but good grief let it die. The WOOS are loud tonight.

This is a stat that blew me away. Jericho has been around for a LONG time right? He was 2 when Flair debuted. That’s just ridiculous. Flair has been wrestling almost as long as Jericho, a veteran at this point, had been alive. Jericho calls a spot to Flair in fairly obvious fashion. He just leans over and whispers it to him. It’s scary to think that Flair, at 52, has miles better cardio than most of the roster in their 20s and 30s. This match has been very physical to say the least.

There are so many little things that Flair does that show why he’s great. It’s not a bunch of big impressive moves with a few botches here or there. It’s a simple, basic style that has practically zero mistakes in it. In other words, it’s not about what he’s doing well. It’s about what he’s not doing wrong. Then the little things like getting the referee looking somewhere else to use a bunch of punches. He plays to the crowd well too.

How sad is it that so many people today would be clueless about how to do this? We get a cool sequence where Flair goes for the Boston Crab and Jericho gets a figure four, showing how fairly stupid it is to have finishers like that which almost anyone can do. That’s why I like the liontamer, the one with the knee in the back, more. No one else uses it. Apparently over time the amount of points that the figure four puts pressure on has gone from 5 in Gordon Solie’s days to 7 now.

In a brilliant move, Flair grabs the ropes and taps. The thing is, since the hold should be broken, the submission can’t count. That’s a very smart thing to do as it buys him a lot of time. Referee gets a thumb in the eye, or maybe a short knee (rep for the first person that gets what I’m talking about) allowing Flair to low blow Jericho and put on the figure four. Anyone think it’s a bit sexual looking when Flair bounces up and down while in it? Yeah I never thought that either. Jericho taps.

Rating: B. While not as good as the other match, this was still very solid. As good as Flair is though, I’m not sure I’m sold on him practically beating Jericho, who was world champion earlier in the year, clean. It was a very good match with Flair being the better of the two, but still, it just had me kind of wondering.

Promo for Hogan DVD.

Heyman is with Lesnar and talks about him ending Hogan’s career. Lesnar is a freaking tank.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Edge

Dang 3 matches and 6 world champions. Again, very limited backstory here as they just don’t have the time to do it. As awesome as Edge’s old music was, he desperately needs something more hardcore at this point. He’s rocking the glasses and the trench coat though so you can see the future Edge trying to get out. However, in less than 6 months he’d be out for over a year, so that kind of got put on hold.

Apparently Eddie is upset about Edge being popular and a sex symbol (really?). That’s almost creepy given who Edge would be married to on WWE TV. Just as I say that about Edge’s injury, he might have gotten hurt. He has a bit of a stinger according to Tazz, who would know something about having a Steve Borden. If he is hurt, Eddie doesn’t seem to care at all.

In case you didn’t know, Edge is a HUGE face here and way over with the crowd. Apparently it’s Edge’s shoulder….er neck…..maybe shoulder…..can the commentators make up their freaking minds?? Either way, Eddie is crushing him right now. Eddie is just going insane on Edge’s shoulder, so if nothing else we have a simple story going on that works really well. If nothing else, how can Edge spear someone if his shoulder is killing him without hurting himself really badly?

The main thing of this match is nothing more than Eddie working over the shoulder. Frog Splash misses but after a brief Edge comeback including the Impaler, Eddie hits a splash down onto the shoulder. Of course, because he’s the charismatic face though, Edge is able to spear Eddie without his arm falling off for the pin.

Rating: C+. The ending just ruined this for me. I got into Eddie’s shoulder work, but then when Edge more or less no sold it at the end, it was a total waste in my eyes. What’s the point in working an injury and taking away a guy’s finishing move if the other guy is just going to no sell it and use his move anyway? That was just bad and made me shake my head, which sucks as the match was pretty good.

Tag Titles: UnAmericans vs. Booker T/Goldust

Now this was a gimmick that I thought was very solid. Christian and Lance Storm represent the UnAmericans here, with Test being the third member of the trio. In short: they don’t like America. They were given the tag titles but very soon after this the gimmick was just completely dropped. I’ve never quite gotten why though. Either way, the odd thing here was that Booker and Goldust were also a team, yet they have absolutely nothing in common.

Hearing the announcers try to give them something in common really is quite funny. The fact that they’re both from Texas never really seemed to sink in. Either way, they were a fairly decent team, albeit they were far more comedic than serious, but Booker would be pushed towards the title picture soon and then put into a serious team with RVD, so all is good I suppose.

Anyway, on with the match. Hearing Lawler try desperately to make Booker and Goldust pro-America is rather interesting, as he compares them to the Great American Melting Pot without ever referring to it as such. The USA chants are really loud to say the least, so if nothing else the heels are drawing heat like they’re supposed to be. Ross’ repetition is nothing short of annoying.

Goldust hits a Bossman Slam as I try to come up with a connection between those two and it’s not working. We get a classic ref didn’t see the tag spot which needs to be done more often. It’s as simple of a way to draw heat as there is in a tag match. This crowd is HOT. Booker gets his own chant as he’s clearly the big star in this match. We knew he was a big deal, but they didn’t push him as such until March, when he was fed to HHH.

Oddly enough, HHH had everyone on the planet fed to him until tonight when he let Shawn, his old buddy, have a classic with him. It’s not like these jokes have no basis in reality, but I’ll save that rant for later…maybe. Anyway, Booker finally gets the hot tag to a huge pop. He throws chops at Christian so fast that the crowd can’t WOO fast enough. That’s actually pretty impressive.

Booker hits his missile dropkick which would have won him the world title in WCW but since this is the WWF and Christian is for some reason popular, he kicks out at two. It always amazes me how a finishing move can just lose its power over the course of a year. Booker spins up as Mark Madden gets another ego boost.

The faces dominate for a good while until Test runs out and kicks Booker’s head off to keep the titles for the heels. On replay, we see the referee looking right at Test leaving as Booker is left lying. Yeah that makes sense. The Smackdown tag titles would be debuted in about two months.

Rating: C-. This was about as cookie cutter of a match as you could have imagined. While it’s ok, it’s just ok. Booker and Goldust would eventually get the titles later on in January for all of two weeks. It wasn’t bad, but just not great.

Nidia does some stupid thing at the World, which is the new name for WWF New York.

Eric and Stephanie make some stupid sex jokes.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. RVD

This is cross promotional, so we have two announcers which is both kind of cool and kind of stupid. Benoit and Eddie have been jumping rosters lately, going from Raw where he won the title to Smackdown. The US Title on Smackdown was about a year away at this point, so there was only the midcard title on Smackdown. Van Dam kicks the freaking heck out of Benoit to start, so you know this is going to be physical to say the least.

This was a weird time for these two as Van Dam was kind of replacing Angle in the triad of the midcard. You always had Benoit and Jericho, but Angle was always a step ahead of those two, and eventually as he was phased up into the main event, Van Dam was thrown into the middle of the card more or less as an experiment and I’d say that it was a success. Frog splash misses and Benoit gets the crossface, which he locks on for about 30 seconds.

No tap though as we’re really just getting going. Over the course of the next 5 minutes or so, Benoit gets another two crossfaces on Van Dam who STILL doesn’t tap as we’re entering HBK at Mania 12 territories of not giving up. In a nice touch of comedy (in my eyes at least), Van Dam locks in the crossface, at least I think that’s what it is although he never was one for submission holds, on Benoit.

This lasts all of 4 seconds though as Benoit is the master of it so why wouldn’t he be able to get out of it? I’m not wild on the two matches with focus on the shoulder like this, but in this case it makes much more sense with Benoit’s finisher focusing on the shoulder. I guess with Eddie and Edge it made sense due to some psychology being thrown in, but I’m still not wild about it at all.

In something I never once remember seeing before, Van Dam’s hair tie comes undone and his hair is freely flowing. I’ve never seen that before and I really don’t like it. He looks almost like Tyler Reks with it like that, which works fine for the surfer, but it just doesn’t look right on Robbie V. I’m thinking I forgot a Ross joke here. That’s going to bother me now. The ending here is just not that great.

Benoit has a belly to back suplex countered as Van Dam rolls over onto him and lands in kind of a cross body/splash. In a very nice looking move, Van Dam looks down at Benoit from the top rope with Benoit’s feet pointing to him. He turns in the air and lands a Five Star for the pin and the title. Really not huge on that ending, as it’s just kind of there.

There’s not a lot of drama as Van Dam just jumps up and hits the splash and pins him. However, a guy winning a title clean is a very refreshing thing to see. There was no interference or anything. Van Dam simply countered and hit his finishing move to get the pin. That’s both good and bad I guess, but the rest of the match was good so I’ll take it.

Rating: B. This was very intense and well done. It’s probably Van Dam’s biggest win of his career up to that point and is probably one of the biggest of his career even to this day, with the world title obviously being ahead of it. He beat Benoit, one of the best ever, clean. If that’s not validation of his ability at least on one night, I don’t know what is. Very good match though and worth checking out.

Stephanie, before laughing for no apparent reason at Bischoff bragging. Not sure what this led to, but it might have been the US Title. Actually that’s not it, as the IC Title would soon be unified with the world title, in one of the biggest head scratchers of all time. It would be revived about 8 months later when everyone realized how truly stupid it was, and THAT would bring about the US Title.

We’re getting ready for Test and the Undertaker. JR says a lot of people want to know who the UnAmericans are, why they’re here, and why they’re doing this. In short: Lance Storm, Christian and Test, they’re professional wrestlers and TNA was a baby at this time and since Vince had more or less created a monopoly there was nowhere else to work, and they’re Canadians that don’t like Americans. Why is that such a complicated thing to figure out?

The UnAmericans carry around an upside down American flag to symbolize how messed up America is. That’s either brilliant or really stupid. They keep saying they hate America, so the American wants to beat up Test. On a side note, William Regal would join them later on. Taker’s punches were called soup bones for no apparent reason around this time, as JR continues to get further and further away from this lovely little thing called reality.

Oh yeah we’re in the Tough Enough era here and Tough Enough 3 was going on. The winner of that was one John Hennigan. You may know him as John Morrison. The other winner was named Matt Cappotelli, and while you may not have heard of him, I was lucky enough to see him in OVW.

He was absolutely awesome and I can guarantee you of this: he would have been either as big a star as Morrison or far bigger. The guy had that X factor to him and you knew he would have been something very special. His retirement speech almost had me in tears. I wish I could find a copy of it.

Undertaker vs. Test

You won’t hear this, but JR says that Test has been living on nothing but potential forever. How true that is of so many workers today. This is part of the UnAmericans vs. everyone else so Taker busts out a hiptoss of all things as he dominates early. The big clothesline hits but Old School is blocked to let Test take over.

Test’s fairly generic big man offense takes over. This is rather slow paced and not very interesting. Taker gets a belly to belly to get out of most of the trouble but an elbow misses. They slug it out which of course Taker wins which lets him get a running DDT for two. Old School connects and the bigger man is in control.

Test’s big boot misses and a chokeslam gets two which is probably the high point of Test’s career. Christian and Storm run in which gets them nowhere. It does however allow Test to get his big boot for two as Test PANICS since the one solid move he knows did nothing at all. He grabs a chair but it gets kicked into his own ugly face and a Tombstone ends it. That was a rarity at this point so it was cool to see. He celebrates with the flag afterwards.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good. It was certainly more about the angle than the match, and while there are occasions that I’ll make exceptions for that such as Hogan vs. Andre, this isn’t one of those occasions. It’s just not good as their styles were too similar and while Taker is good enough, Test just didn’t care at this point and it shows. Solid angle, bad match, as Test just wasn’t in Taker’s league, ever.

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Taker is just now leaving, so that was an extended celebration I guess.

We start the build for what I think (and yes it’s very debatable) was your real main event. Shawn hasn’t wrestled in over 1600 days. That’s a lot of sleepless nights for Becca. Lawler says that a lot of these people have never seen Shawn wrestle, which means that a lot of people have never heard of home video obviously, or Lawler thinks it’s 1940 and there’s no such thing as taping a match.

In case you’ve never heard it, here’s the basic build for this match. Shawn and HHH were in DX together as you likely know. However, Shawn got hurt and HHH took over DX and became the star that he is today. Now, in the Summer of 2002, Shawn came back for a night, unbeknownst to us, healthy and sober. That night, it seemed to be all about Shawn again, which was unfair to HHH who had actually had a more successful career as far as title reigns and time on top than Shawn had.

That night, Shawn came up with the idea of reforming DX (I want that man shot) and HHH went along with it, or at least he did in the beginning. They do the two words line, but then HHH kicks him and pedigrees him. You can tell this is serious because it goes into slow motion. HHH hits a very weird pedigree as he jumps way too high and it looks like Shawn was countering it with a backdrop.

Anyway, HHH says that Shawn used HHH to get to the top, so now HHH used Shawn to get to the top, which makes even less sense but whatever. Now this is the part of the storyline that I never understood. HHH is cutting the promo in the ring where he says all of that stuff. Ok, that’s fine. A guy gets his attention and says that something happened.

HHH bolts from the ring and goes off to find a bunch of guys around Shawn who is laid out on the ground bleeding and there’s a hole in the window of a car. HHH says he’ll find who did it and when he does, that person is a marked man. Shawn comes back a few weeks later for a satellite interview, and he has the footage from the security camera, and naturally it’s HHH. As I’ve said many times, what’s the point?

For one thing, why wouldn’t it have been HHH? He’s cutting a promo about how he can’t stand Shawn, and since Shawn has been back for all of 2 weeks, why wouldn’t it have been him? Seriously, who else was it supposed to have been? Why wouldn’t they have just shown it being him, maybe ending the show like that, and THEN have the interview where Shawn challenges him for Summerslam? HHH says that he did it to prove a point, which was that Shawn is vulnerable.

Ok, that’s all well and good, but WHY WOULD HE GO ON A FREAKING MANHUNT IF HE DID IT? That makes no sense! What’s the point in turning him heel one week, turning him face for two weeks, and THEN revealing him to be the mastermind for lack of a better term, thus turning him heel all over again? It’s just pure overkill and was absurd. ANYWAY, Shawn says that he’ll be completely recovered by Summerslam. So let me get this straight.

Shawn couldn’t get better from a broken back, which is something that could have paralyzed him, in four and a half years, but if you cut him on the head he’ll recover in less than a month? Are you telling me that all Shawn had to do to completely be healed was cut himself shaving? If that’s the case, Becca might have a fit. This match is non-sanctioned, which Bischoff says means that it never happens. HHH says the logical thing: Oh Eric, but it will happen.

See, that’s my issue with matches that never happen. YES THEY DID! When you erase something from the record books, people still remember the matches themselves. That’s why taking down banners for basketball games or erasing wins is freaking stupid. The games were played, and therefore we’re going to remember who won, who lost, by how much, and what kind of shoes they were wearing.

The match not only happened, it happened in a WWE ring, on a WWE PPV, had WWE commentators and had a WWE referee, but people know who freaking won it! The match DID happen, so what’s the point in saying it’s non-sanctioned? If it was non-sanctioned, then this would be happening in a parking lot somewhere instead of in front of 14,000 people. Since it’s not an official match, why is HHH in wrestling gear?

Does he wear that in his everyday life? Is there constantly a referee following him around to check and see if he wants to go for a pin? Does he think he’s Nighthawk and that he’s competing to become Champion of Wrestling (OCW joke for those of you that have NO clue what I mean)? Are you starting to see how stupid this really is? Just call it what it is: a WWE street fight. It sounds better, it looks better, and above all else: IT MAKES SENSE!!!

They get a full music video before the match here, which actually does show off how great of a match this could be. HHH’s line of “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE ANYMORE!” while as corny as it sounds, actually tells the whole story here in just four words.

That’s the sign of a good promo: it sums up everything simply, without having to use a big elaborate bunch of words to fill in time. All that being said though, the buildup had you actually believing that something special was coming, and for those of you that have seen it, you know that it is. For those of you that haven’t, be ready to enjoy.

HHH vs. HBK

Before I begin, one note that I’m likely to forget. In an interview that HHH gave about Shawn and this match in particular, he says that this was a 45 minute match. From what I’ve seen, it clocks in at about 27-30. That’s a far cry from 45 if my math is correct, but I digress. To say the pop for HBK’s music is massive would be like saying Hogan was a little over.

The flashbulbs are going off all over the place as this is actually a very epic moment. It’s not like Shawn was doing nothing when he left. He was wrestling in the main event at a major show as the world champion and he retained. It’s fairly obvious that he would have gotten at least a rematch with Austin at Backlash and likely have been champion again somewhere down the road. However, it’s likely that his addictions would have caused major problems.

Geez I need to stop these tangents. He gets the mega star treatment which he deserves, including pyro, confetti, etc. He’s actually looking like it’s a non-sanctioned fight, wearing an undershirt and jeans. His shirt says Philippians 4:13, which for you football geeks is what Tim Tebow has on his eye black in every games. For those of you that don’t know who that is, watch some real football, not that nonsense they play in Europe and find out.

For those of you that have no idea what it means, it’s a Bible verse that reads “For I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” That makes a lot of sense for this match. Usually I want the face to come out last and get the big pop, but here I think it’s better that Shawn came out first. Also, Lawler says that no one in history has had more charisma than Shawn.

Not sure about that King. I’m thinking of a guy in red and yellow. He posed a lot, kind of made wrestling what it is today. In an odd fact that you may not know, the man who wears red and yellow, despite many tries, has never once beaten Jerry Lawler by pinfall. They fought dozens of times, but Lawler never lost cleanly to him. SCREW these tangents!

HHH gets the booing to end all booing. You have to keep in mind: HHH is at about the level here that he’s at today, so it’s not like Shawn was coming back to fight Dolph Ziggler or someone like that. He was taking on one of the very best. Shawn is all calm here, even doing the lay on the rope like a hammock thing. I really like that actually, as it plays to Shawn’s laid back persona that he had when he was at his peak.

If he was all serious and angry that would have made sense too, but I think this actually works a bit better. Shawn starts fast, throwing his PERFECT towel in HHH’s face and punching him. Apparently this is due to his Texas pride. What in the world does Texas pride have to do with this? He jumped him. Isn’t that being a bit cowardly actually? Why am I trying to make sense of something JR said?

Shawn starts by throwing punches for the most part, but within two minutes he launches over the top rope with a plancha, followed by more punches. That’s a very smart idea actually. Shawn has been out of the ring for four and a half years. It’s not like he’s going to be the Shawn that was wrestling just before the injury. He’s going to have a lot of ring rust, so punching makes sense.

Also, it’s a good safety advertisement for kids and adults. Since this isn’t an actual match, it’s not actual wrestling right? Therefore, Shawn not doing a lot of wrestling moves is showing that people shouldn’t try this at home. Now it’s ok to punch someone’s head in, but don’t try to slam them. We get weapons brought in, namely the trashcan of death, as JR talks about Shawn’s son watching at home.

There’s a great parenting lesson: if you’re ever possibly walking into a match where you have little to no chance of winning and could be paralyzed because your pride got in the way of your thinking, make sure your kids are watching, because it could be your only chance to look good for them. Sweet Chin Music misses and HHH lands a backbreaker, which Shawn sells like death, opening the main psychology of this match, which was to be expected.

You know, you’d think that after four and a half years his back would be a bit better. Oh, Lawler has used vintage four times inside of 5 minutes. I wonder if that’s where Cole got it. You can almost see the Harley Race coming out of HHH already as he looks just pure evil. Ross says that WWE has nothing to do with this match as I am fighting from rehashing what I said earlier.

Chair is brought in and cracked over Shawn’s back, but since he has HEART, he can kick out of what would pin others, despite it being his weakest point. JR says HHH is 6’4 and a half and weighs 260, despite him being listed as 272 just 8 minutes ago. I feel like I’m watching a Captain Planet parody with all these heart references. DDT on a chair which should have crippled someone but he kicks out with ease, but he’s bleeding.

Lawler says this match may have been the biggest mistake of Shawn’s career. He hung out with Luna, so that’s a big negative there King. HHH gets the sledgehammer as Shawn fights him off. HHH goes for an abdominal stretch which I’m sure has Gorilla Monsoon complaining in his grave. HHH grabs the rope, which I’m still trying to figure out how that actually adds anything to the hold.

Earl Hebner yells at HHH about it and you can tell he means business because he has a mic on him, but keep in mind: this IS NOT a real match. Shawn gets crotched on the top rope as a little bit of Becca’s soul dies. Another chair shot to the back would normally end anyone else’s career, but SHAWN HAS HEART! I know I’ve made fun of a lot of this, but this match really has been good.

I’m rarely a person that can pick out specific things a guy does in a match, but even I can tell that HHH is a master heel. They do a spot where HHH sets up a chair and Shawn is side slammed through it. If it broke then it hurts horribly, and if it doesn’t break then it hurts like the 7th circle of torment. We get probably the 5th spot that would kill anyone else, but Shawn has….screw it even I’m getting tired of that joke.

JR says Shawn is limp. I’m sure Becca could fix that. Ok I’ll try to keep the Becca jokes to a minimum now. Shawn starts his comeback in his comeback match by countering the pedigree. The fans are white hot here, even 15 minutes into this. From out of nowhere, Shawn gets Sweet Chin Music into a chair but Shawn is spent, which makes sense. The psychology is definitely here, as it’s always nice to have guys that actually know how to work the mental side of a match as these two do. HHH is busted.

Ok, now this is just getting ridiculous. Shawn has had maybe 5 moves that would have ended any match with ease, including a DDT on a chair, and 5 minutes later he’s fine? Even Hulk Hogan thinks that’s a bit much to swallow from Shawn. Becca says…never mind. All of a sudden Shawn is limping around again, so I guess I can buy the adrenaline excuse. JR calls the chair shot a Jason Giambi like swing which makes me laugh. Of all the power hitters in history he picks him?

The commentators have a crazy idea: Shawn could win. I get that this is supposed to be his last hurrah, but is it that hard to believe? Ok yes it would have been at the time. The fans want tables, so HHH is put on the most famous one of all time: The Portuguese Announce Table! In a weird spot, Shawn pulls the shoe from one of the commentators, which Lawler says is a heel for a heel as I can’t believe he still has a job at this point.

You can say heel but you can’t say belt or strap? It’s ladder time. DAng why can’t it be wiggle time? HHH gets a solid shot right in the hand with it. In case you didn’t know, this is non-sanctioned. Did you know it’s non-sanctioned? I just want to make it clear that this is non-sanctioned. And last but not least, it’s non-sanctioned. HHH busts out a baseball slide as two things happen: he uses a new move so screw you HHH haters, and I am WAY past my record for talking about one match.

You can tell this is a big match as HHH goes up top. Shawn gets a weird float around sunset flip but he shoves himself off at two because the spot looks bad if HHH kicks out on his own. JR randomly throws in how evil HHH is. That is yet another example of why I love professional wrestling. Where else could someone try to cripple you but just a few years later you’re best friends again and fighting on PPV together?

That must have been one heck of a Christmas card that HHH sent him. “Hey man, sorry about that whole wanting you in a wheelchair thing and the attempted manslaughter. Next time we hit Waffle House, you can get a Coke on me.” Drop toehold into the stairs for HHH and we actually get a realistic looking impact. Why are tables such a big deal? It’s not like they’re that deadly.

Wouldn’t it actually break the fall a bit as you have less time in freefall? Shawn comes off with a splash from the top to the floor with a table, which is just cool looking no matter how long he’s been out. The holy crap chants have started, which is fine as this match is awesome. Correction: this match is greatness. There is a difference. The odd thing about that though is that this is really just an extended hardcore match with big names.

They’re hardly doing anything revolutionary, yet the match certainly is great. I think that goes to show just how awesome both of these guys are. They’re taking stuff that we’ve seen dozens of times before but by using storytelling and style, they’re making it look better than ever. Shawn lands the Screw You elbow and bounces up. The old school stomping on the mat clues HHH in to what’s coming and it’s countered into the Pedigree, but Shawn rolls him up to shock the world and win the match.

Normally I would have been for the Sweet Chin Music and the clean pin, but with that we can’t have what follows: HHH drilling him in the back with the hammer to become Satan incarnate. He then does it AGAIN to make Satan look like a baby bunny named Lucy.

Lawler is absolutely losing it in some of the best commentary I’ve ever seen. Ross sounds like any other heinous act, but Lawler is probably at his best ever here. The fans are chanting for HBK, but since he’s not Hulk Hogan, he can’t get up. Shawn is stretchered out as the fans are almost dead silent.

Rating: A+. Holy crap this was awesome. You have to remember, Shawn hadn’t done a freaking thing in nearly 5 years. This would be like Austin coming back and stealing the show and having one of the best matches of his life. Both guys were so on here that it’s not even funny.

Ok, now I have to bring this up because it was the talk of the IWC around this time. As you know, HHH gets a LOT of criticism for never putting people over and while today that’s complete nonsense, those complaints started around this time and I think that at this time they were completely true. “But KB, he JUST put Shawn over.” Yes he did, but you have to remember that at this time no one, not even Vince himself thought that Shawn was coming back full time.

This was a one off performance and that was it. It’s no different than when Hogan came back and beat Orton and HBK. He had nothing to lose but he didn’t put them over as they needed. It’s no different here. HBK didn’t need to win here, given the circumstances at the time. Yes, HHH put someone over, but he put someone over that didn’t need it. Less than a month after this HHH would be awarded the WHC and after a brief Shawn run HHH would hold it for over 9 months.

In that time he beat everyone and beat them soundly. That right there is where he got the reputation for never putting anyone over, and I think those are valid claims. Prior to this he had won the title at Mania 18 and lost it to Hogan, who was just another nostalgia run like HBK was right here. In other words, for over a year and a half, HHH put over HBK, his best friend, and Hogan, the biggest star of all time.

Starting with the creation of the Undisputed Title in December of 2001 and ending with Wrestlemania 21 almost three and a half years later, the longest HHH wert without being world champion: just under four and a half months. Once the second title was created in September of this year or about 2 weeks after this show until Mania 21 (Batista and Cena winning the world titles): 5 months.

Both of these times he was feuding with HBK for the majority of the time. Therefore, I think there certainly was something to those claims back then that he was either playing politics or hogging the title while refusing to put anyone over, as he was either champion or feuding with HBK.

Since we had an amazing moment, we follow it with a bit that is supposed to be funny. This was the Get The F Out campaign because of those panda lovers.

JR and Lawler don’t think HHH is a very nice person. No valentine’s day cards for them.

Howard Finkel has something to say as we have entered the Twilight Zone. He says that he’s dedicated to the business and while MLB may be going on strike (they didn’t), the fans will always have the Fink. For no reason at all, Trish comes out for this. Apparently….they’ve been feuding?

Like I said in my Smackdown review, it’s kind of awesome hearing Fink’s voice being pissed off. Trish hits on him for some reason. Howard references his penis as my scars are scarred for life. Lillian is behind them and she beats up Fink and leaves with Trish. This may have been the most pointless segment I’ve ever seen.

We see a promo package on the rise of Brock and how Rock has been training “specially” for this match, which means he’s getting in shape to film the Rundown.

WWF Title: Rock vs. Brock Lesnar

After all that, Tony Chimmel is announcing. Brock’s music is great and Heyman is in his element as the jerk agent. This match was Rock’s very last time being around any title period as he would make one last 3 month run in the spring, beating Hogan and Austin before putting Goldberg over and riding off into Hollywood, only appearing for Mania the next year.

Basically, this was to launch Brock as high up as they could in one match and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it done better. Rock was really just a trophy champion at this point, having no title matches and never really being the focus of the show at all. Since Austin was on hiatus at this point, Rock was all they had left as HHH was busy with HBK. They figured they would roll the dice on Brock and just see what happened.

There’s not a lot to say here other than Brock is destroying him. I mean this is almost an extended squash, with the fans all over Rock. It’s a smark crowd so I’m assuming they know Rock is gone after tonight. Either way, Rock is getting booed out of the building here and the fans LOVE Brock, who was turned face about three months later at Survivor Series. Actually it was a bit before, but it was official that night as Heyman turned on him, making Brock face by default.

Brock puts on a bearhug which I kid you not lasts nearly three minutes. Granted, it’s the hug that killed Hogan off, but DANG that’s a long time. After the nap I was taking ends with them finally doing something, they go to the floor and Lesnar is down. During this time, Heyman gets the worst Rock Bottom of all time through the table. Back in, Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Lesnar kicks out because that’s what monster heels do.

He hits his own Rock Bottom which Tazz calls, say it with me, the Brock Bottom, and yes, it is stupider than it sounds. They trade punches with Rock winning and going for the Elbow but Brock pops up to just take his head off with a clothesline. That was one of the hardest moves I’ve ever seen.

We get a great series of near finishers and counters, but Brock lands the F5 to completely shock the world and win the title as the fans go nuts. The ending is really fast with clichéd lines like the next big thing has arrived. I think they were pressed for time or something here because the show is over maybe 15 seconds after the pin without even a single replay.

Rating: C+. This again wasn’t about the wrestling but what it meant. As I said this was Brock’s big moment and they couldn’t have put him over any stronger if their lives depended on it. He dismantled Rock and made it look easy. Of course they would screw this up royally by putting him with Big Show who would injure him at a house show because he was too fat for Brock to throw around without hurting himself.

Scratch that. Brock could throw him around, but Show just sucked badly at this time. Either way they had no choice but to give Show the belt in an angle that was just horrid as it made Brock look pretty weak. Also, less than two weeks after this the Undisputed belt is made exclusive to Smackdown which I think is what Stephanie was laughing about earlier.

Anyway it leads to HHH being given (literally) the World Heavyweight Championship which Shawn would win at Survivor Series in the first Elimination Chamber. DAng I got off topic again. Anyway, Brock was awesome, Rock put him over and bailed, and Austin was long gone, so Brock is officially a big deal.

Overall Rating: A+. This show is awesome, but HHH/HBK should have gone on last, plain and simple. It was by far and away the bigger story and got more attention. Also, after that match, the fans weren’t spent but they weren’t as alive as they could have been for the title change.

Other than that, I don’t have any issue with this show. It’s solid all around with nothing bad on it at all. I’ve heard it compared to Mania 17 and while I don’t think it’s better or equal to it, it beats anything for second place at least off the top of my head. Highest recommendation all around here.

 

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Money in the Bank 2021
Date: July 18, 2021
Location: Dickies Arena, Fort Worth, Texas
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

After Friday’s dress rehearsal, it’s time for the first show of any serious value in front of fans. The briefcases get pulled down tonight and it would not surprise me to see one of them get cashed in, as WWE is going to want to have a big splash going into the Summerslam build. A last minute replacement would not be shocking either. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio

The Mysterios are defending and walk through a portal near an Aztec pyramid to come into the arena. There’s your budget I guess. Dominik wristdrags Jimmy out of the corner to start and grabs an armbar. Rey comes in to a nice reaction and Dominik powerbombs him onto Jimmy for two. A cheap shot takes Rey down so the double teaming can begin in the corner. Rey wastes no time in getting over to Dominik for the tag as the pace picks back up.

The Usos get him outside though and a hard swing sends Dominik into the barricade to put him in trouble. The double wishbone has Dominik down again, with McAfee saying it’s a way to tear him apart…..by the hips. Cole: “Way to catch yourself.” McAfee: “We’re on the Peacock.” Dominik gets in a shot to the ribs and makes it over for the tag to Rey. A top rope seated senton hits Jey for two but Jimmy comes in off a blind tag. That means a superkick into the pop up Samoan drop for two.

Dominik pulls Jimmy outside and Jey gets caught in 619 position, only to hit Jimmy by mistake. A shot from behind puts Rey down so Jey can hit the Superfly Splash for a heck of a near fall. Rey is back up but charges into a hot shot into the buckle. A rollup, with Jey pushing Jimmy gets the pin and the titles at 11:27.

Rating: B-. Pretty hot opener here with the absolute right ending. There was no reason to keep the titles on the Mysterios while the Usos are in the main event scene. Let them have the titles so they can run over some teams (like the Mysterios in a rematch to start) and help bask in Roman Reigns’ glory.

The opening video looks at the history of pulling down the briefcase and what it can mean for your career. The rest of the card gets a look as well.

We get another quick opening video for a bit of a double shot.

Naomi vs. Asuka vs. Natalya vs. Tamina vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Nikki Ash vs. Zelina Vega vs. Liv Morgan

Money in the Bank ladder match. After all of the entrances, it’s time to go after the ladders as Bliss just stands on the top, where she was as everyone else came out. Bliss steps down and skips around a bit but as she reaches for the briefcase (from the mat), Asuka comes in to suplex her down. A parade of knockdowns leaves Tamina standing but it’s too early for her to climb up.

Tamina crushes Vega and Morgan in the corner again but Asuka kicks her down. The ladder has Tamina down as Asuka climbs, so Tamina starts pushing it up anyway. Morgan jumps onto the ladder to push it back down until Natalya makes the save. A tug of war with the ladder breaks out, so said ladder is rammed into various ribs. Vega gets an ugly hurricanrana on Tamina on the floor and Natalya drives the ladder into Morgan in the corner. Bliss breaks that up and then crawls up the ladder for the fear factor.

Natalya pulls Bliss off and gets laughed at, followed by a drop toehold into the ladder. Vega meets Bliss on top of the ladder, where Bliss scares her with the smile. Bliss goes with the channeling and makes Vega climb down, only to climb back up herself. That brings Natalya back in to pull Bliss down and powerbomb her into the ladder. Nikki tries to come back in but gets knocked down as well, allowing Natalya to go up, despite Vega being on her back. A choke cuts Natalya off and Vega grabs the case but Morgan makes the save.

With everyone else standing in the middle of the ring brawling, Nikki climbs a ladder on the floor, poses, and then dives onto the pile (cool dive, but they stood there for fifteen seconds waiting on her). Bliss punches Cross in the face for teasing the climb and the wind up DDT plants her again.

Natalya and Tamina cut off Bliss and send her outside into the barricade. They take their time in burying Bliss underneath the ladders so Morgan goes up but Tamina makes the save. Morgan hurricanranas her into the corner but two more ladders are set up in the ring. The big climb is on with six people up at once…but Ash runs up and steals the briefcase in the middle of the fray at 15:43.

Rating: B-. They kept this moving and that’s the right idea, though I’m a little surprised by the winner. Nikki is far from the worst decision, but I’m worried that they are going to let Morgan just fall off again because her being popular doesn’t fit into her plans. I’ll take Cross winning over Bliss, but a showdown between the two of them for the briefcase would not surprise me.

We recap the Usos winning the titles.

Roman Reigns is happy and says hold onto the titles for him. Winning the titles was the easy part though because Reigns already did the easy part. Now that they all have gold (not quite), it’s time to give Reigns what he wants. The Usos both acknowledge him as the Tribal Chief and Reigns is proud of them. Hugging abounds, but Jey doesn’t look happy.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Viking Raiders vs. AJ Styles/Omos

Omos/Styles are defending and AJ gets a crazy pop. Styles and Erik start but it’s off to Omos immediately. That means some double teaming from the Vikings, which only gets them so far. It’s already back to AJ, who gets hammered down in a hurry. Erik gets sent outside though, and after decking Ivar off the apron, AJ gets launched up and over the top into a hurricanrana to take Erik down again.

Back in and Erik hits a heck of a hurricanrana on Styles, allowing the tag to Ivar to blast Styles with a clothesline. AJ manages to get over to Omos for the tag though and it’s a big slam to Ivar. That’s broken up and Erik comes back in, only to get caught with the Phenomenal Blitz. Some shotgun knees in the corner stagger Styles though and there’s a German suplex. The springboard clothesline/German suplex combination connects but AJ escapes another suplex and brings in Omos.

That means a gorilla press off the top for a big crash and Omos’ one foot cover gets two. Ivar is back up with the seated senton out of the corner so it’s back to Erik. Some running forearms stagger Omos and get him down to one knee, with the running clothesline puts Omos on the floor. Back in and AJ enziguris Ivar into the corner but the Phenomenal Forearm misses. The Viking Experience connects but Omos shoves Erik into the cover for the break. Things settle down and Omos comes back in for the chokebomb to Erik for the pin at 12:43.

Rating: B-. That might be a bit high but I had a rather good time with this one. They worked a story of trying to get rid of the monster and then picking off Styles, but the monster ultimately got the better of things. I liked the story and Omos wrestles a good monster style. Rather good match here and I had fun.

Drew McIntyre promises to win the briefcase.

We recap Kofi Kingston vs. Bobby Lashley for the Raw World Title. Kingston wants to get the title back and thinks Lashley is going soft. That led to Xavier Woods beating Lashley on Raw, sending Lashley completely over the edge. Lashley promises to be more serious and that could go very badly for Kingston.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Kofi Kingston

Lashley, with MVP, is defending but Kofi jumps him for an early two. The standing double stomp gets two more and it’s time to head outside. That’s fine with Lashley, who drives him HARD into the post to take over. Back in and Lashley plants him again, leaving Kingston to grab Lashley’s leg to pull himself up. The Hurt Lock goes on but Kingston manages to escape, earning himself a hard suplex. Lashley hits a Dominator, followed by posing and a Dominator, followed by posing and a Dominator. The Hurt Lock makes Kingston tap at 7:34.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to say here as Lashley completely squashed him. This was pure dominance and that is exactly the way they should have gone after the end of Raw. Lashley as the ticked off and serious destroyer could have quite the shelf life and I’m curious to see where he goes next. I mean, I have a feeling I know who’s next, but it isn’t exactly appealing.

We recap Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte for the Raw Women’s Title. Ripley snapped on Charlotte last month and lost via DQ, meaning it’s time for a recap. They have traded knee injuries so both have a target on them coming in here.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

Ripley is defending. The fans get on Charlotte’s nerves to start before switching to the WE WANT BECKY chants. Ripley sends her to the apron and kicks her down, setting up a running dropkick to put Charlotte on the floor. Charlotte avoids a charge though and another running dropkick puts Ripley into the barricade. Back in and Charlotte slams her down by the head, setting up a boot to the chest.

The fans get on Charlotte’s nerves again though and Ripley sends her outside again. Back in and Rhea grabs a northern lights suplex for two, followed by a heck of a German suplex for the same. Ripley misses a missile dropkick though and it’s the Boston crab to put her in trouble. That’s escaped so the Figure Four is loaded up, only to be reversed into a cradle to give Rhea two. The big boot gives Charlotte two and it’s time to look all confused. Charlotte goes up but Ripley pulls her into an electric chair.

That doesn’t work either so Ripley muscles her up into a heck of a suplex for two more. Back up and Rhea’s chops just fire Charlotte up so she sends Rhea into the corner and over the top. The huge moonsault plants Ripley again but Charlotte takes too long taking her back inside. Most of the Prism Trap is on but Charlotte breaks that up as well. The Riptide is countered into a DDT for a heck of a near fall and Charlotte is stunned again. They slug it out again until Charlotte elbows her in the face for two, with the referee seeing the feet on the ropes.

Charlotte heads up top where she blocks a superplex, setting up a super Natural Selection….for two in a heck of a near fall (and drawing some Charlotte swearing). The Figure Four is countered into a German suplex into the corner but Charlotte sends her head first into the post. Charlotte ties the leg into the steps and kicks away to crush the knee. Back in and the Figure Eight goes on….and Rhea taps at 16:55.

Rating: B+. This is a two part match. First of all, you had two grown women beating the figure out of each other here with one big shot after another until one of them couldn’t hang on any longer. That was great and the super Natural Selection absolutely got me with the false finish, mainly because I didn’t think Charlotte would actually win the title.

Then there is the other part: Charlotte wins the title, beating Ripley again with the Figure Eight. Yes Ripley did win the title at Wrestlemania, but now it’s Charlotte’s time again because it’s time to give her another title reign. Not that this one is going to do anything for her, but at least she gets to cut off a new potential star before she gets the big moment. That is WWE’s Charlotte problem in one match, though it was pretty awesome on the way there. Also, major points for taking the crowd from hating this to losing their minds by the end.

Riddle runs into Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs, who get to hear about how much he misses Randy Orton. Boogs plays Orton’s theme music as Kevin Owens looks confused.

Kevin Owens vs. King Nakamura vs. Riddle vs. Big E. vs. Seth Rollins vs. Ricochet vs. John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre

Men’s Money in the Bank ladder match….at least in theory as the Peacock feed falls apart during the entrances. The audio and video are only holding up for about a second and a half at a time before cutting out, which is going to make this even harder to follow than usual. Thankfully it clears up before the bell and we can see Rollins dealing with a big gang beatdown to start. Ricochet hits a big dive to the floor and it’s off to a Big E. vs. McIntyre showdown.

After disposing of Ricochet again, McIntyre gets to slug it out with Big E. and throws him down. Big E. is back up with a toss to the apron and the spear through the ropes, with Big E. landing hard. The first ladder is brought in but Owens gets sent outside. Morrison goes up and springboards over the ladder with a corkscrew dive onto Rollins. Nakamura is back up and climbs the ladder, where he catches Morrison in a triangle choke over the top. That’s broken up by a Rollins springboard knee and the double stomping has Nakamura in trouble.

The alliance takes out McIntyre and Riddle with ladder shots, setting up a reverse Regal roll to send Riddle into the ladder. Ricochet comes back in to strike away until he gets dropped onto the ladder for the big crash. Now it’s Owens’ turn to get double teamed but it takes too long to set up the announcers’ table. Back in and a limping Owens manages a moonsault, only to get backdropped onto the side of a ladder on the mat.

McIntyre gets back in but gets dropped onto the ladder, setting up the moonsault elbow from Morrison. That’s enough of him for Rollins, who hits Morrison in the face with the ladder to break up the alliance. Ricochet clears the ring but a reverse hurricanrana to McIntyre is countered with the reverse Alabama Slam into the ladder in the corner. McIntyre hits the big no hands flip dive onto a bunch of people at ringside but has to headbutt Rollins back inside.

There’s the Claymore to Rollins and McIntyre goes up but Veer and Shanky come in for the save because JINDER MAHAL IS A THING AND YOU WILL CARE ABOUT HIS MAIN EVENT GLORY!!! AGAIN!!! McIntyre is taken out and Riddle goes up, only to have Ricochet springboard up onto it as well. The ladder is shoved over with Ricochet…landing on the top rope and hitting a springboard flip dive onto the pile, just because he can. Riddle is stunned, as he should be.

Back in and Riddle slugs it out with Ricochet on top of the ladder as Rollins set up one of his own. Big E. takes out Rollins so Riddle hits an RKO on Big E. and Ricochet. That lets Rollins Stomp Riddle but Nakamura remembers that he’s in the match and takes Rollins down. He gets his hand on the briefcase but the Drip Stick cuts him down too.

Owens is back in to pull Morrison down and give him the Stunner, followed by one for Nakamura. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets rid of Ricochet but this time it’s Rollins powerbombing Owens through the ladder at ringside for the huge crash. Big E. is back up with the Big Ending off the ladder though and he wins the briefcase at 18:13. I would not have bet on that one.

Rating: B. Well ok then. Big E. has seemed ready to be pushed to the top of the company for a long time now and if this is the way to get there, I think I’m down with it. The man has more charisma than he knows what to do with and it would be great to see him finally do something with it. The match itself was the usual car crash and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be, so well done on the match with the great ending.

Big E. gets in a rather long celebration and you can feel the energy.

Seth Rollins is furious over the loss and says that wasn’t good enough. He needs a new plan and change and isn’t waiting to be the next Universal Champion.

We recap Edge vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. Edge was supposed to win the title at Wrestlemania but then just didn’t, as Reigns wrecked both he and Daniel Bryan. Now Edge is back for his one on one title match and knows he can make Reigns tap, even if it takes a piece of a chair.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Edge

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending. They stare each other down to start and soak in the dueling chants. The lockup takes a bit but it’s Edge driving him into the corner for a slap. They actually go technical with Edge getting the better of things to get on Reigns’ nerves. Back up and Reigns runs him over with a shoulder, meaning it’s time to yell at the crowd a bit. Edge takes some time getting up but starts working on the arm.

That earns him a punch to the face and the big clotheslines in the corner make it even worse. Reigns seems to bang up the arm though and Edge wraps it around the post. That means we need a breather on the floor until Edge follows him out, only to charge into a Samoan drop. Reigns breaks the count and posts Edge for a big knockdown as the pace slows. Back in and Reigns stomps away in the corner before throwing him outside again. Reigns takes him back inside and unloads with forearms to the face, followed by the chinlock.

To keep things fresh, Reigns shouts at the fans a bit. McAfee says Edge’s eyes are fluttering like Peacock and Edge is draped over the bottom rope. That means the running apron dropkick for two and it’s time for the Superman Punch. That’s countered into a backslide, followed by stereo big boots for a double knockdown. Back up and the slugout goes to Reigns, who gets pulled into the Edge-O-Matic for two.

Edge hits some clotheslines into the Edgecution for two and the kickout staggers Edge a bit. Reigns catches him on top but gets sent into the post to tie him in the Tree of Woe. Edge unloads on him to set up the STF (or Crossface according to Cole), which he switches into the Crossface at the last second. The rope is grabbed for the save though and they’re both down again. Back up and Reigns slaps on the guillotine until Edge drives them through the ropes and out to the floor in a crash.

It’s Reigns up first but his spear only hits barricade. Edge breaks up the count and hits a spear of his own through the other barricade. That’s good for two back inside but Reigns is back with a Superman Punch. The ref is bumped on the crash though and winds up holding his knee, which gets Reigns’ attention. That means Reigns can go outside and break up a chair, but Edge cuts it off and fires off headbutts.

The Crossface with the bar goes on as the referee is taken out but here are the Usos….to be cut off by the Mysterios. Reigns is out in the hold as we STILL don’t have another referee. Cue Seth Rollins to lay Edge out and the spear is loaded up, only to have Edge hit his own spear for a VERY delayed two from another referee. Cue Rollins again so Edge kicks him down, earning himself a spear from Reigns to retain the title at 33:16.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but it never quite got over the hump. The time didn’t help them and they probably had one too many moments at the end before just getting to the point. What matters is that Edge can still have a good match on this level and that’s nice to see. Just find a way to trim some of this down a bit and it would be that much better, but it was still good as it was.

Post match Rollins says that Edge would be champion if not for him so Reigns owes him. Edge gets up and jumps Rollins to fight him into the crowd. Reigns grabs the mic and says everyone can acknowledge him….and JOHN CENA Is back to some thunderous roaring. Cena is all fired up to be home and steps towards Reigns, who can’t see him to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Money in the Bank is one of those shows that just works most years, mainly because WWE knows how to do the ladder matches rather well. I’m still not big on the build to them, but the shows themselves are almost always great. Throw in the big angle at the end to set up the Summerslam dream main event and there wasn’t much here to be annoyed about. Nothing was bad, a lot of Summerslam is ready, and they are trying some new people with the briefcases. Awesome show, with the crowd bringing it up a whole bunch of notches.

Results
Nikki Ash won Money in the Bank
AJ Styles/Omos b. Viking Raiders – Chokebomb to Erik
Bobby Lashley b. Kofi Kingston – Hurt Lock
Charlotte b. Rhea Ripley – Figure Eight
Big E. won Money in the Bank
Roman Reigns b. Edge – Spear

 

 

 

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AND

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No Way Out 2007
Date: February 18, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s that show where WWE pretends that it matters while showing us a commercial for Wrestlemania. The main event is a tag match between the Wrestlemania main events, which should be a quality though unimportant match. Other than that, we are getting a Divas Talent Show, which should be as exciting as it sounds. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the tag match, because that’s about all that matters around here.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with JBL ranting about the Spanish team.

Chris Benoit/Hardys vs. MVP/MNM

Bonus match which combines….well just one feud as MVP and Benoit haven’t had any major issues. Matt and Mercury slug it out to start until Mercury charges into a raised boot in the corner. The Hardys start taking over on the arm until Mercury pulls him down by the hair. Nitro comes in and gets his arm cranked as well so MVP will try it instead. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right there to slam him down.

MVP gets chopped into the corner and MNM bails away in a hurry. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex and hands it off to Jeff, who gets slowed down by a rake to the eyes. Nitro comes in for the big staredown and suckers Jeff outside, where Mercury gets in a cheap shot. Back in and we hit the chinlock from Nitro, followed by one from Mercury. A suplex gives MVP two but Jeff gets to the corner for a quick Whisper in the Wind. It’s back to Matt to pick up the pace but MVP takes him down into a cravate.

Ballin gets two on Matt and Mercury comes in to go after Matt’s face again. Matt fights out of Nitro’s front facelock and hits a clothesline, allowing the hot tag off to Benoit. A double German suplex drops MNM and everything breaks down. Poetry In Motion hits MVP and another suplex gets two on Mercury. Nitro dives off the apron with a clothesline to Jeff but has to dive back in to break up the Crossface on MVP. Matt saves Benoit from the Snapshot and it’s the Crossface to make Mercury tap.

Rating: B. I can always go for a good six man and they were going pretty fast throughout here. Mixing up a pair of feuds (or at least one feud and two more people) opens up some extra options and keeps things from being the same stuff over and over. Really good opener here and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise.

Vickie Guerrero has some options and one of her biggest is coming true on Smackdown. She hugs Krystal and thanks her for everything.

Finlay talks with the Leprechaun (who can speak fine here), who is scared of the Boogeyman. Well the Little Boogeyman, because little people are scary. Finlay throws him into a trashcan so he won’t be so scared and then leaves….and the Boogeyman smoke comes up. Little Boogeyman pops up and screaming ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Gregory Helms is defending in a gauntlet match. Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #1 and Daivari is in at #2. Daivari sends him into the corner for some right hands but Scotty comes back with the bulldog. There’s the Worm and Daivari is done in a hurry. Gregory Helms is in at #1 and hammers on Scotty, including a catapult to send him throat first into the middle rope. Scotty is back with a belly to back suplex but the Worm is broken up. What would become known as the Codebreaker gets rid of Scotty so it’s Funaki in at #4.

Helms small packages him for the pin in about five seconds and it’s Shannon Moore in at #5. A spinning backbreaker gives Helms a fast two and a belly to belly superplex drops Moore again. Another Codebreaker gets rid of Moore and it’s Jimmy Wang Yang in at #6. Yang goes right after him and hits a standing moonsault for two. A Russian legsweep sets up some weird arm hold on the mat but Helms is back up in a hurry with a hard right hand. Yang grabs a quick hurricanrana for the pin out of nowhere, guaranteeing a new champion.

Jamie Noble is in at #7 as JBL demands more time to talk about Helms losing the title. A hard shot to the face sets up a chinlock on Yang and Noble sends him hard into the post for two. Yang fights back with a few clotheslines and the spinwheel kick for two of his own. The moonsault press gets rid of Noble and Yang thinks he has won….but it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #8 to complete the field.

Chavo uppercuts him down a few times and kicks Yang in the back to take over in a hurry. A spinwheel kick gives Yang a breather and the big dive to the floor drops Chavo again. Back in and Chavo hits Three Amigos, which Cole calls disrespectful for some reason. Yang gets in another shot to the face and goes up, only to miss the twisting moonsault. The frog splash gives Chavo the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. I’m really not a fan of this style as it’s a bunch of mini matches rather than anything getting time. Chavo winning the title is fine, but the rapid fire falls brings up the same thing I always wonder with this format: why is it so much easier to get a fall in this one than in any given match? Either way, at least the title is off of Helms, who was getting hammered with losses that WWE didn’t seem to think counted because he was still champion.

John Cena isn’t worried about teaming with Shawn Michaels tonight. What does have him concerned is facing Batista and Undertaker tonight. As for Michaels, what is going to happen when you can feel this much tension? Cena doesn’t know either.

Finlay/Leprechaun vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

The Leprechaun is as terrified as you would expect and hides underneath the ring, leaving this as a handicap match. Cole finds it funny, sending JBL into a rant about how Cole is xenophobic for hating Irish people. Boogeyman punches Finlay down to start and they head outside with Finlay being sent into the apron. Back in and Boogeyman hits a powerslam for two, allowing Little Boogeyman to come in for a seated senton. The Leprechaun comes in, puts his hat on Finlay and rolls up his sleeves, allowing Finlay to kick Little Boogeyman in the head.

JBL has no idea what he is watching as Finlay stomps away on Little Boogeyman and grabs a short armscissors. Little Boogeyman gets out and goes underneath the ring, but Boogeyman comes out. Back in and Boogeyman catapults Finlay into the corner and a double splash connects, with the Leprechaun making the save. Boogeyman loads up the worms to chase the Leprechaun off, leaving Finlay to hit the Little Boogeyman with the Shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D. The goofiness was high with this one but it’s kind of hard to get that angry about it. They made no secret of what they were going for here and the match went about as well as it was going to with all the nuttiness. Finlay and the Leprechaun do well together and it’s kind of funny to have a Little Boogeyman to balance things out. That and Finlay hitting Little Boogeyman in the head with a club was worth a chuckle at the end.

Of note: we are about an hour into the show and Cole’s voice is almost gone. This could be an interesting remaining two hours.

Shawn Michaels says he can’t trust John Cena because he only trusts HHH. No matter what happens tonight though, he has to make sure that nothing happens to Cena until Wrestlemania.

King Booker vs. Kane

Booker has Queen Sharmell in his corner, and we get a quick recap (Booker eliminated Kane from the Royal Rumble after being eliminated himself) during the entrances. Booker tries to run to start but gets caught in the corner for some elbows to the face. Kane doesn’t seem to mind getting hit in the face and takes Booker outside for elbow on the apron. As the beating continues, JBL goes into the Inferno match AGAIN, with Cole asking what JBL would have done to win the match.

The side slam and big boot set up a clothesline to the floor as Booker is still in trouble. Booker gets in a few shots of his own though and a missile dropkick connects for two back inside. The armbar goes on for a bit, followed by a kick to the face to give Booker two. Kane gets chopped down in the corner but he comes back with a suplex for a breather.

Booker kicks him in the ribs but misses the ax kick, allowing Kane to hit a running clothesline. The right hands in the corner rock Booker again and there’s the side slam. Kane’s top rope clothesline (closer to a right hang) draws Sharmell up to the apron and Booker nails the side kick. Not that it matters as Kane pops up with the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here as Kane gets a nice boost and King Booker’s run continues to cool off. There isn’t much left for him to do very high up on the card and that makes sense. King Booker wasn’t a gimmick that was going to have a very long term run on top and it has taken its course. Putting someone like Kane over is a good thing, as he could be used to make someone look bigger later.

Batista says Raw is going to lose tonight and he isn’t intimidated by Undertaker, John Cena or Shawn Michaels.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Deuce and Domino

Deuce and Domino, with Cherry, are challenging after winning back to back non-title matches. Domino drives London into the corner to start and they trade slaps. A jumping elbow drops Domino and it’s off to Kendrick to work on the arm. The champs clear the ring in a hurry and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Domino gets in a shot from behind on London to take over for the first time.

London gets whipped into some raised knees in the corner and we hit the double arm crank with a knee in the back. Deuce sends London hard into the corner and there’s a double backdrop for two. The chinlock goes on, allowing the referee to go over and say something to Kendrick in a weird visual. London fights up and gets the tag, setting up a quick spinning backslide for two on Deuce. Domino is back in but misses a Doomsday Device clothesline, allowing Kendrick to victory roll Deuce for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I liked the match but I’m a bit confused by the ending. This was set up for the title change and there was little reason for them to not change the belts here. London and Kendrick have cooled down a bit in recent weeks and it is time for them to drop the titles already. Deuce and Domino are kind of perfect for that, but I guess they have to be slowed a bit on the way there.

Cole’s voice is barely holding up.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s childhood, which led to his successful amateur wrestling career. This is the same thing that aired on ECW last week.

Mr. Kennedy thinks Bobby Lashley is just like everyone here in Los Angeles: a phony wannabe. Everyone has a dream but he is standing here and they are all out there. He has beaten Lashley before and he can do it again, this time becoming the new ECW World Cha….and here is Lashley to say the one word for Kennedy is halitosis. Lashley drops him too, giving us a great confused Kennedy look.

ECW World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and Kennedy jumps him from behind during the entrances. That doesn’t exactly work on Lashley, who beats him near the barricade and takes it inside for the opening bell. A backdrop into a slam has Kennedy in more trouble and the delayed vertical suplex gets two. Kennedy slips away though and kicks Lashley down in the corner. Lashley grabs a torture rack but a rake to the eyes gets Kennedy out of trouble.

JBL talks about how this is the Wrestlemania of the future as Kennedy puts on something like a reverse Figure Four (with Lashley face down and Kennedy face up). With that broken up, Kennedy switches to a half crab so Lashley has to grab a rope. Back up and Lashley tries a slam but the leg gives out, allowing Kennedy to take him down again. A running dropkick to the knee gets two, with JBL saying to take notes if you want to be a sports entertainer.

More stomping in the corner sets up a DDT for two as the fans are not exactly thrilled. The half crab goes on again but this time Kennedy lets it go and puts him down again. The Kenton Bomb hits raised knees though and the leg is fine enough for the torture rack into the kneeling backbreaker. Kennedy “accidentally” bumps the referee and takes out Lashley’s leg again before grabbing a chair. Lashley takes it away and hits Kennedy for the lame DQ.

Rating: C-. I don’t get the boring chants from the fans but the ending wasn’t very good. Sure you don’t want Kennedy to take a fall (as he has done enough as of late) so why put them in this situation if that is all you have? They were in a bad place here and the match might not have been thrilling, but it could have been a lot worse. It could have been a lot shorter too, but I don’t think I would have said boring.

Rey Mysterio is back on Smackdown, but just to talk.

The Condemned is coming.

Vinnie Jones, co-star in the Condemned, says he is the real star of the movie and he beat up Steve Austin….presumably in the movie?

The Miz hosts the Divas Talent Invitational, starting with Extreme Expose. They dance, people drool, next act.

Next up is Jillian Hall, who is excited to have her big break in front of these music executives. First she has to warm up and doesn’t like the lack of bass. She sings her original version, with Miz saying she is the female version of William Hung. Jillian goes into a rant about how Extreme Expose couldn’t even be her backup dancers. She goes on about the other women’s “talents” and calls them b******. Cue the rest of the women to beat her up for the catfight, with referees breaking it up.

Ashley comes out with the talent of showing her Playboy cover and taking off her top, revealing strategically placed Playboy Bunny stickers. That’s enough for the win, shockingly enough.

Wrestlemania is All Grown Up. I like that one, though I’m still not sure I get it.

We recap the main event of Undertaker/Batista vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and is facing Batista, while Shawn Michaels, the Royal Rumble runner up, is challenging Cena. Take two Wrestlemania main events and make a tag match.

John Cena/Shawn Michaels vs. Batista/Undertaker

Non-title. Shawn comes out to the DX theme and entrance as he continues to reach post-Strike Force Tito Santana levels of not being able to let it go. Batista knocks Cena into the corner to start but Cena comes back with right hands. That earns him a Regal Roll of all things and an early powerslam gets two. Cena avoids a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Shawn to fire off the chops.

That doesn’t last long as Batista powers him down and brings in Undertaker for a quick Old School. Undertaker shoves away the right hands in the corner and gets two off the big boot. Batista comes back in but misses an elbow, allowing the tag back to Cena. Undertaker is right back in as well and you can feel the energy coming up for the showdown. Cena catches Undertaker going up top (that’s a rare one) with a superplex but Undertaker sits back up.

The right hands rock Undertaker, who drops Cena again. This time it’s Undertaker missing an elbow of his own so it’s back to Shawn, who is gorilla pressed out to the floor in the big crash. Back in and Cena makes the save, leaving Shawn to get pounded down in the corner. Shawn gets in a shot to Undertaker’s knee and starts firing off right hands in the corner, as JBL compares this to getting to see WWE vs. WCW. Egads I’d hope it’s better than that.

Batista comes in for a series of clotheslines into a headlock but Shawn manages a running DDT. The hot tag brings in Cena to start cleaning house, including the Shuffle to Batista. Undertaker breaks up the FU and fights outside with Shawn, leaving Batista to hit a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is broken up by Shawn’s shot to the knee and it’s time to take turns on Batista for a change. Cena blasts him with a clothesline for two as Cole has just stopped talking as his voice is gone. Shawn grabs a front facelock but Batista powers him off without much effort.

That’s not enough for the tag though as Cena is right there with a sleeper on the suddenly busted open Batista. The STFU has Batista in trouble in the middle of the ring, with Undertaker taking his time to make the save. It’s back to Shawn for the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a swinging Boss Man Slam. That’s enough for the hot tag back to Undertaker as everything breaks down. Undertaker beats up both of them without much trouble….until Batista spinebusters him down. Batista watches from ringside as it’s Sweet Chin Music into the FU to finish Undertaker.

Rating: B. The word for this match is big, as it felt like a match that belonged in a main event spot. It didn’t matter that there were no stakes and it won’t matter until Wrestlemania, but they got into a groove so that it felt like a match between two teams. That made Batista turning on Undertaker at the end feel important, and gives us the closest thing to a villain in the title match, even if it is more of an edgy good guy instead. Heck of a match here and a nice surprise.

Batista stares at Undertaker, who pulls himself up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show is bookended by a pair of good matches but the middle is pretty all over the place. What helps this show more than anything else is the complete lack of expectations coming in. There was no reason to expect a good show here and we wound up getting a fine one, though only the opener and main event are really worth seeing. It is time to get ready for Wrestlemania now though, and that could not come soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Hell In A Cell 2021
Date: June 20, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s time for another big theme show with the event focusing on the match we saw two days ago. This time we have a pair of matches inside the Cell, as Bianca Belair defends the Smackdown Women’s Title against Bayley and Drew McIntyre challenges Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Mandy Rose vs. Natalya

Dana Brooke and Tamina are here too. Natalya grabs a headlock takeover as commentary talks about Natalya complaining about Mandy’s looks. Mandy grabs a wristlock so Natalya spins out, only to get sunset flipped for two. They flip around each other a lot without making much contact until Natalya gets dropped throat first across the top rope. Some stomping in the corner keeps Natalya down, setting up the bodyscissors.

Natalya powers up to hit a slam but Mandy hammers her down with forearms to the back. An abdominal stretch goes on, with Mandy hooking the toe to make Gorilla Monsoon proud. Natalya reverses into one of her own (no toe hooking) as commentary goes back to Mandy being a fitness model.

That’s broken up so Mandy tries a bulldog, only to get dropped down instead. Natalya’s step over basement dropkick gets two but Mandy pops up for a middle rope version. A rollup gives Mandy two and Natalya blasts her with the discus lariat. Mandy is right back with a knee to the face for two and Mandy can’t believe the kickout. The grappling goes to Natalya, who pulls her into the Sharpshooter for the tap at 9:43.

Rating: C-. So to recap, Natalya complained about Mandy only being there for her looks and then beat her in a match. I’m not sure what kind of a future that offers for the women’s division but at least the match got a bit of time. Mandy did a little better than usual on the mat and you can tell that she has gained a lot with experience.

The opening video features a woman talking into a radio microphone on the radio station in h***. It’s ok to be scared when you’re standing at the gates, which moves us into the traditional look at the matches on the card.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Bianca Belair vs. Bayley. Belair won the title at Wrestlemania but Bayley has laughed at her ever since. That’s too far for Belair, who has dealt with disrespect since she was three feet tall. Therefore, Belair challenged her to a match but after Bayley kept laughing, Belair wanted to put it inside the Cell. For some reason this included every screen in the Thunderdome being changed to a shot of Bayley laughing or holding up the title. Twice.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Bayley

Belair is defending inside the Cell and slams Bayley down a few times to start. A clothesline puts Bayley on the floor and it’s time for an early breather. That lets Bayley snap Belair’s throat across the middle rope and it’s time for some chairs. Bayley’s big swing is countered into a rollup for two and Belair sends her hard into the corner to take over. A superplex is loaded up so Bayley tries to punch her down, only to have Belair backflip down onto her feet. Of course she can do that.

Belair is sent shoulder first into the post though and Bayley adds a boot for two. The bad arm is sent into the corner and something like a Downward Spiral on the arm keeps Belair down. Bayley brings the steps in but stops to tie Belair’s hair around the bottom rope. A running kick just winds up tripping Bayley onto the steps and Belair unties herself (McAfee: “I can’t untie my shoes sometimes!”) to send Bayley into the Cell.

Bayley bites her to escape and Belair seems to be in shock. A kendo stick shot (with two sticks taped together this time) rocks Belair again and a sunset bomb into the Cell makes it even worse. Bayley pulls out two more a pair of kendo sticks taped together to make them longer (as in four total between two sticks) but spends too much time telling Cole to shut up. The delay lets Belair spinebust her through the sticks for two back inside.

Belair grabs a chair but Bayley kicks it back into her face and then wraps the bad arm into said chair. Things get even more creative/painful as Bayley ties Belair’s hair to the chair. That takes too long though and Belair sends the steps into Bayley’s knees. Now it’s Belair tying her hair around Bayley’s wrist and beating her with the kendo sticks. Bayley tries to get out the door but can’t get around that pesky padlock.

And now, since we haven’t had enough stuff thrown in there, it’s time for a ladder. Belair is sent into said ladder and Bayley crushes her inside of it, setting up the Rose Plant. Bayley bangs up her knee in the process though and it’s a delayed cover for two. Back up and Belair hits a Glam Slam into the corner (with the shoulder giving out a bit so it doesn’t have full impact). Bayley is laid on the ladder for a backsplash and the KOD onto the open ladder retains the title at 19:45.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches where your standards may vary. As a Cell match, it wasn’t much as the Cell played a very small role in the whole thing. Granted that has been the case with the Cell for far too long now so it is kind of hard to make that much of a criticism. In other words, it was a weapons match which happened to be wrapped in a Cell, and it worked well in that regard. Good match, with Belair rising to the occasion and Bayley doing her thing as always.

Post Summerslam ads, Belair says that was tough but she will never forgive Bayley.

Bobby Lashley, with his female companions, is ready.

Alexa Bliss says that was a rough night for Bayley, but she is glad we’re here. Lily is still in time out (there is hope for this show) but tonight, Shayna Baszler needs to learn two lessons: expect the unexpected and be careful what you wish for, because you never know what might answer.

We recap Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins. Cesaro beat Rollins at Wrestlemania so Rollins came back to jump him soon thereafter. That put Cesaro on the shelf for a few weeks but he came back on Bayley’s talk show and jumped Rollins for a change. They had a sitdown interview where Cesaro shoved Rollins’ chair over while announcing the match.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins jumps him during the entrance again and the brawl is on before the bell. Cesaro goes with the power to start and drives Rollins into the corner for an early two. Some uppercuts in the corner rock Rollins again but he pulls Cesaro face first into the buckle. A rake to the eyes lets Rollins choke with a boot but Cesaro muscles him up for a suplex and a breather. Rollins backdrops him out to the floor though and the running knee off the apron drops Cesaro again.

Back in and Rollins stays on the eye but Cesaro slugs away with the uppercuts to put Rollins down. The black glove is taken off and Cesaro kicks it out of the for a moment that might not be as symbolic as WWE was hoping it to be. A powerslam gives Cesaro two but the Neutralizer is countered with a backdrop to the apron. Cesaro’s superplex attempt is broken up so he goes with a high crossbody for two instead. Rollins is back with a forearm to the back of the head for two of his own and the kickout has him frustrated.

After shouting that Cesaro has not earned anything, Rollins grabs an armbar before hitting the Falcon Arrow for two. The Stomp misses and Cesaro is back up with a discus lariat for a double knockdown. Cesaro plants him down to set up the Swing (not as long as usual), followed by the Sharpshooter. With that not working, Cesaro switches into a Crossface but Rollins rolls him up for two. The Sharpshooter goes on again but Cesaro lets it go to stomp on the arm a few times. Rollins counters another Sharpshooter attempt into a small package for the clean pin at 16:15.

Rating: B. I was worried about this one for Cesaro but I can understand why they went with Rollins here. Rollins is one of the handful of truly established stars that WWE has and it makes sense to have him get a win back here. I’m not sure what this means for Cesaro, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up for his future. The match itself was the usual good back and forth WWE style match, with the ending being a bit of a surprise. Was anyone expecting these two to not work well though?

Money in the Bank is coming on July 18. Time for people to have random matches against each other and call it building momentum, even though pins and submissions have nothing to do with winning a ladder match!

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Alexa Bliss. Baszler doesn’t like Lily because she’s a doll, but it turns out that Lily is evil and has used her fire powers to try and kill Baszler a few times. Now Lily is in time out so it’s time for a match. Yeah it hasn’t been any better off of paper either.

Shayna Baszler doesn’t like hearing about Lily and calls Alexa Bliss a lunatic. Bliss has fun playing with dolls, but Baszler has fun hurting people. Nia Jax and Reginald come in to offer support so Baszler slaps Reginald in the face.

Alexa Bliss vs. Shayna Baszler

Reginald and Nia Jax are here too. Bliss stands still at the bell so Reginald offers a distraction, allowing Baszler to hammer away in the corner. Baszler’s knee suddenly gives out so Bliss crawls over to her and starts kicking at the knee. Some kicks put Bliss in the corner for a running knee but she just laughs. Graves wants to know when you give up and call the Winchester brothers as Baszler suplexes her down. Some standing on the head sets up the big stomp on the arm to put Bliss in trouble.

That lasts all of a few seconds as Bliss starts laughing and glares at her as Baszler cranks on the arm. The evil face goes on and Baszler lets go, allowing Bliss to forearm her in the face. A Thesz press into some right hands set up a DDT to give Bliss two. With Baszler down, Bliss stares at Nia Jax, who goes into a trance and slaps Reginald down. They scream at each other so Baszler grabs the Kirifuda Clutch, which Bliss escapes in a hurry. The wind up DDT sets up Twisted Bliss for the pin at 6:55 as Nia snaps out of it.

Rating: D+. You know, Bliss having mind control powers and putting Nia in a trance is a heck of a lot better than I would have expected here. Throw in Reginald getting hurt and the match was actually a refreshing change. Of course it wasn’t very good or anything, but that’s not why you watch a match like this one. The lack of Lily has made this a good bit more bearable, though I’m almost scared to see where they go next with the thing.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

Sami has laughed at and attacked Owens after Commander Azeez hurt Owens a few times. Owens unloads on him to start and hits the big chop in the corner. You can hear Owens coughing and he might be coughing up blood as he elbows Sami down. There’s the backsplash but Owens can’t breathe again. Sami uses the break to get in a few shots, only to have Owens chop the skin off of his chest. With the direct approach not working, Sami goes for the throat and puts on a quick chinlock to keep Owens down.

Owens drops him on the top rope and hits the Cannonball but the breathing catches up with him again. Zayn sends it outside and hits the big flip dive, leaving Owens holding his wrist. That’s not cool with Zayn, who kicks him outside where Owens can’t breathe again. Back in and Owens sweeps the legs to hammer away, followed by another trip to the floor. Owens hits a clothesline but the Swanton off the apron hits knees to put them both down again.

Back in and the Blue Thunder Bomb gives Zayn two but Owens gets in a few shots of his own. The Stunner is countered into a half and half suplex so Zayn can stomp away. Owens rolls outside and coughs a lot more but Owens manages a Stunner. Zayn barely beats the count so they slug it out from their knees with Owens getting the better of things. Now it’s Owens stomping away like Zayn did to him but the bad arm is snapped across the top rope. A running knee sends Owens’ throat into the rope and the Helluva Kick gives Zayn the pin at 12:38.

Rating: C+. This had a different story to it, though I’m curious to see more about Owens’ arm injury. If that was legit, points to Owens for grinding through a pretty good match. If it wasn’t, points to Owens for making me think it was. Zayn needed this win a lot more than Owens and when you consider the breathing deal, there was no real reason to have Zayn lose. Makes sense, and good stuff because they know each other so well.

Zayn is VERY pleased with his win and calls it karmic justice. He even yells at commentary about what happened.

We look at Roman Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Rey Mysterio in the Cell on Smackdown. Jimmy Uso congratulated Reigns on his win.

We recap Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley for the Raw Women’s Title. Ripley won the title at Wrestlemania and Charlotte wants it back. They have gone at it multiple times since then, with Ripley wanting to retain the title and avenge her loss at Wrestlemania last year.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte

Ripley is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. With those out of the way, Charlotte kicks her in the face before the bell and gets a very quick two as a result. Ripley is back up with a big boot of her own but Charlotte takes her straight into the corner. The chinlock goes on for a bit but they head outside, with Charlotte kicking her into the barricade. Back in and Charlotte shouts a lot until Ripley rocks her with a headbutt. A superkick puts Charlotte down again but she ties the legs up in the ropes to slow Ripley right back down.

Ripley is fine enough to hit a running shot to put Charlotte down on the floor, setting up the Prism Trap back inside. That’s reversed with a roll into the buckle and Natural Selection, with a foot on the rope, gets two. Ripley grabs a quick suplex but the knee is too banged up, allowing Charlotte to hit a backbreaker into a Downward Spiral into the buckle. A moonsault (with Charlotte having to land on her feet and then hit a standing version) gets two but Ripley catches her on top.

That means a superplex can give Ripley two and they’re both down. The brawl is on with Ripley grabbing a quick Riptide for two and they head outside again. This time Charlotte dropkicks the steps next to Ripley’s knee (the camera angle really hurt that) and they head back inside for the Figure Four. Ripley manages to roll over and get to the floor for the break, complete with a lot of screaming. With nothing else working, Ripley tears off the top of the announcers’ table to hit Charlotte in the face for the DQ at 14:11.

Rating: C. So Charlotte mostly dominated the match and then wins by DQ in the end, setting up another title match down the line. There are a lot of criticisms of Charlotte being presented as far too strong and…..well this was kind of a good example. Ripley looked like she had to escape here and for the life of me I do not get why she is not being presented as an equal. She has all of the skills and talent you could want, but she has been treated as secondary to Charlotte every time they have been paired together. Charlotte is the most decorated woman in WWE history. Putting Ripley over once is not going to destroy her career.

Post match Ripley hits another Riptide and insists that she be named as the winner. Ripley leaves, with Charlotte saying “you’re learning b****.”

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title. McIntyre beat Kofi Kingston to become #1 contender for the third straight pay per view, so Lashley wants it to be his last shot. That’s fine with Drew, who wants it in the Cell, and then broke a table with a sword.

WWE Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending with MVP in his corner. They stare each other down for a bit before Lashley heads outside to grab some weapons. That’s fine with Drew, who sends him face first into the Cell to take over. Lashley is right back with a hard ram into the Cell so McIntyre suplexes him into the steel as well. A shot with the steps puts Lashley down again and McIntyre takes it back inside for the overhead belly to belly. McIntyre sets up a table against the Cell but MVP slips Lashley the cane.

That goes into McIntyre’s throat to cut him off but he counters a suplex into the post. An Air Raid Crash plants Lashley onto the steps so he goes to the throat to cut McIntyre off again. McIntyre bounces off of the Cell and comes right back with a clothesline to drop Lashley. They head inside with a rather stoic McIntyre hitting him in the back with a chair but a top rope chair shot is countered into a failed Hurt Lock attempt.

McIntyre’s spinebuster gets two and Lashley is dumped hard to the floor. McIntyre picks up the steps but Lashley drives him straight into the Cell and goes nuts as he pounds McIntyre down. With some help from MVP, Lashley pins McIntyre in the corner of the Cell with a kendo stick and unloads on him again. Back in and the Downward Spiral sends McIntyre face first into an open chair for a nasty landing.

Lashley unloads on him with kendo stick shots but McIntyre blocks a swing and hits a headbutt. McIntyre grabs the chair so Lashley pokes him in the eye. The referee gets bumped and Lashley is sent into the chair in the corner, meaning the Futureshock gets no count. McIntyre counters the Hurt Lock and hits the Claymore as the second referee comes in, only to be pulled out by MVP. That earns him a beating including a Claymore but Lashley is right back with the Hurt Lock on the floor.

That’s broken up with McIntyre driving him through the table in the corner and they’re both down again. Back in and McIntyre (whose back is all cut and banged up) unloads with some chair shots but the Claymore misses. Lashley sends him to the apron for a release Rock Bottom through a table. Back in and the spear is sent into the corner, allowing McIntyre to grab a backslide for two. The Futureshock connects but MVP grabs McIntyre’s leg, allowing Lashley to roll him up with trunks for the pin to retain at 25:49.

Rating: B+. This felt like a match with some weight behind it and the violence helped a lot as well. These are two big guys who can beat each other up with power moves and that is all you need a lot of the time. It also had the right ending, as there was no reason to take the title off of Lashley yet. Two guys hitting each other over and over again for a long time with a title on the line. That’s a pretty good formula for a main event and it worked rather well.

Lashley and MVP pose while McIntyre looks devastated to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. They kept this to the point and had three out of the six matches be rather good with only Bliss vs. Baszler not being so great. You might not be pleased with Charlotte vs. Ripley, but the rest of the show ranged from pretty good to very good. The main criticism here is that the show did not feel like it mattered in the slightest, with more than one feud feeling like it is just going to continue. Odds are that is the case with Money in the Bank and then Summerslam on the horizon, but at least they had a good show on the way there.

Results
Bianca Belair b. Bayley – KOD onto a ladder
Seth Rollins b. Cesaro – Small package
Alexa Bliss b. Shayna Baszler – Twisted Bliss
Sami Zayn b. Kevin Owens – Helluva Kick
Charlotte b. Rhea Ripley via DQ when Charlotte used part of the announcers’ table
Bobby Lashley b. Drew McIntyre – Rollup with trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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New Year’s Revolution 2007
Date: January 7, 2007
Location: Kemper Memorial Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first pay per view of the year with Raw running the annual early January show. This time around we have a double main event of John Cena defending the Raw World Title against the undefeated Umaga and a pretty big grudge match between D-Generation X and Rated-RKO, winner gets the exclusive hyphen rights. Let’s get to it.

The cage is lowered for the opening.

Opening sequence, featuring a look at the double main event and nothing else. That is probably a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

In a cage and Nitro, with Melina, is challenging. Nitro starts fast by hammering him around the ring early on and Hardy gets pounded down in the corner. Hardy is back with some right hands but a belly to back faceplant puts him down again. The Flying Chuck gets two on Hardy, who scores with the flying clothesline/half Sling Blade. The mule kick drops Nitro again but a Stunner over the top rope cuts Hardy off. Nitro drives him into the cage (first time it has been used so far) but Jeff is right back to cut off a climb attempt.

A dropkick sends Nitro back first into the cage and they both crash down. Hardy can’t get out yet, despite a heck of a jump to the top of the cage. Nitro belly to back superplexes him right back down but Hardy is back with a catapult into the cage. They both go up to the top and it’s a super Russian legsweep to bring them both back down. Hardy goes up so Nitro climbs onto him for the save, setting up a sunset bomb for another double knockdown. Nitro is up first and tries to climb out so Hardy pulls him…not down as Nitro has his legs tied in the cage, meaning Jeff crashes hard.

Since that is rather painful, Nitro comes back down and Jeff reaches for the cage, only to have Melina whip the wall with her belt. A missile dropkick puts Hardy down again but he counters a high crossbody into….something, but it puts them both down. It’s Nitro up first but Hardy pulls him over the top, only to have a super Twist of Fate broken up. Nitro starts climbing out as Hardy goes for the door, meaning Nitro climbs around to the door to stop him instead of, you know, jumping down. Melina blocks the door as a bonus, so Hardy kicks it open, crotching Nitro on the top in the process, and retains.

Rating: B-. This was built around the idea of two people going up and then crashing back down a lot, which is where Hardy excels. The ending was clever too so it was a pretty good way to go about the title match. It’s a smart choice for an opener as anyone can get into the idea of a cage match, especially between some people as talented as these two.

Rated-RKO can’t believe that they are being asked about how their issues with DX became personal. They have busted DX open and now they are fighting for their futures. Tonight, they’re finishing DX.

Tag Team Turmoil

Bonus match for the #1 contendership. The Highlanders are in at #1 and Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin are in at #2 to get things going. Rory and Haas start things off with neither getting very far, meaning it’s off to Robbie instead. Haas gets taken into the corner but Rory misses a charge in the corner, allowing the villains to take over. Benjamin gets to hit the jumping dive onto Rory’s back and Haas adds a slam onto the back for two.

The chinlock goes on but Shelton’s legs go off on a slam, allowing Rory to fall on top for two. Robbie comes in and gets to clean some house, including a belly to back suplex to Haas. Benjamin rakes Robbie’s eyes on top though and a top rope superplex is good for the pin. Jim Duggan/Super Crazy is in at #3 (much to commentary’s shock) with Duggan hammering and clotheslining Benjamin.

A running knee lift takes Duggan back down and the beating is on in the corner. Duggan hits the three point clothesline for a breather though and the hot tag brings in Crazy to pick up the pace. Crazy hits a basement dropkick on Haas but Benjamin hits a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Haas to grab a bridging German suplex for the pin. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch are in at #4 with Cade slamming Benjamin in a hurry.

An atomic drop sets up Murdoch’s big boot and the neck crank goes on. A neckbreaker finally gets Benjamin out of trouble and it’s back to Haas to (barely) pick up the pace. Haas flapjacks Murdoch to set up the Haas of Pain (an underrated hold) but Cade breaks it up, allowing Murdoch to steal the pin. Cryme Tyme is in at #5 as JR tries to figure out if there are any more teams left on the Raw roster. Given that we had one new team thrown in, that means the division is four teams, plus the champs who are barely involved with the rest of the teams.

Shad hammers Cade down to start but JTG dances a bit too long, allowing Murdoch to come back in. Commentary confirms that these are the last two teams and Murdoch elbows JTG down. Some choking with the tag rope keeps JTG in trouble but Murdoch dives into a raised boot. Cade breaks up the hot tag though because this match needs to keep going. JTG finally slides out of a double suplex though and it’s the hot tag to Shad so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and the G9 hits Cade to give Shad the pin.

Rating: D. This was long, not very interesting and showed how lame the tag division is at the moment. Cryme Tyme was the only option to win here and it could be a good Tag Team Title match, but this really did not need to go almost twenty minutes. Pretty bad match here, but much more boring than bad, which is even worse.

Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman are in the back with Vince complaining about how much Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump have been yelling at each other as of late. Coach thinks it sounds like something coming out of the WWE. Vince: “It sounds like something coming out of the WWE.” Therefore, we need to resolve it with physical abuse, meaning we can have a match between the two of them on Raw. Oh here we go. Coach is also glad that Vince has taken back YOU’RE FIRED and goes on about it so long that Vince leaves. Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra comes out in a Flair style robe. Before the match, he talks about knowing that Flair got hit with a Conchairto on Raw but just because Flair saying that he is “still recovering” is no excuse to not come out here and take his beating. Cue Flair in the pink robe and we’re ready to go. Commentary talks about how much Flair had accomplished by the time Kenny was born (four World Titles) as Dykstra hits the strut to start. A dropkick puts Flair down for an early two and there’s a fist drop to keep him in trouble.

Flair is right back with the chops and shots to the face, including a big chop to put Kenny on the floor. That’s too much waiting for Flair so he follows Kenny out, only to get suplexed for a hard landing. Back in and another suplex gives Kenny two, followed by a strutting elbow for the same. Kenny grabs a Boston crab to draw some screaming but Flair (very) eventually makes the rope.

Flair chops his way out of the corner but Kenny knocks him right back down. Kenny’s Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Flair unloads in the corner. For some reason Flair goes up top but gets slammed back down. A poke to the eye gives Flair a breather though and it’s time for some chop blocks. There’s a knee to the head and a step between the legs, setting up the Figure Four. Flair even gets in some slaps but Kenny finally makes the rope. They slug it out in the corner until Kenny gets in a quick low blow, setting up the small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like the previous match, this wasn’t the most interesting match because Dykstra isn’t exactly thrilling to see most of the time. They’re playing up the idea that Flair doesn’t have it anymore, but the head injury wasn’t a factor and it was mainly Flair getting beaten up for ten minutes. I’ll give them points for trying with Kenny though, as they could use some fresh talent.

Melina checks on Johnny Nitro in the trainer’s room. Nitro says to call Joey Mercury because the Hardys are going to pay for what they did. Melina goes to make the call but runs into Victoria, who says Melina is the one Diva missing from her list. That’s because they can be a team who can take over the women’s division. If Melina helps her win the Women’s Title tonight, Melina can have the first title shot.

We recap Victoria’s hit list, setting up her title shot tonight.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

Victoria is challenging and shoves Mickie down without much effort to start. Something like a Muta Lock has Mickie in trouble and Victoria shows off a bit by backflipping onto her feet. Mickie is back up with some armdrags into a dropkick for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up. Instead Victoria kicks her to the floor for a drop onto the apron. Back in and a hair toss gives Victoria two but she misses a moonsault.

Mickie slugs away for two and grabs a hurricanrana out of the corner. Cue Melina to check on Victoria so Mickie hits her in the face. The MickieDT is broken up by a Melina distraction. Cue Maria and Candice Michelle to take care of Melina as Mickie reverses the Widow’s Peak into a sunset flip for two. Mickie counters a slam into a tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess and the ending didn’t make it much better. The problem here was that there wasn’t much of a reason to believe that Victoria was winning the title, even though she pinned Mickie a few weeks ago. Then you throw in the interference, which was hardly interesting either. Not terrible, but this show is needing a big pick up and this wasn’t it.

Post match Mickie, Candice, Maria and Lilian Garcia (who Victoria went after as well) celebrate.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X, which somehow is focused almost entirely on Ric Flair. Rated-RKO took Flair out and since DX are basically Flair’s kids, it’s time for some revenge. DX got beaten down as well though, even if that doesn’t make it quite as personal as the Flair stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X

Rated-RKO is defending. Before the match, HHH uses his weird frosted cereal analogy and it still doesn’t quite work. The brawl starts in the aisle, as it should have in a feud this violent. HHH backdrops Edge onto the ramp and throws him inside for the bell and some right hands from Shawn. It’s already off to HHH to stomp away and sends Edge face first into the corner but Shawn misses a charge into the post. Orton gets to come in and hammer away in the corner, only to get snapmared down for a stomp to the face.

There’s an elbow on the apron from HHH and a legdrop from Shawn as the beating continues. Orton is a bit cut open so DX takes turns hammering away at the head. Edge’s cheap shot from the apron cuts HHH off though and the champs take over for the first time. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post but he kicks a Figure Four attempt away to send Edge shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house and there’s the big dive to the floor to take out Edge and Orton.

They head back in, with Edge spearing Shawn off the apron and back to the floor. Orton gets in a belt shot to Shawn to bust him open as well (and much worse than Orton) and Edge is right there to hammer on the cut. Back in and Orton hits the rapid fire circle stomp for two and it’s off to Edge again for more right hands to the head. Orton forearms away at the back and strikes a pose, followed by some raking of the eyes. The double arm crank goes on but Shawn fights up for a suplex.

Edge hits a big boot though and it’s Orton coming back in to load up the RKO. Since that takes the better part of ever, Shawn shoves it away and it’s a double tag to bring in Edge and HHH. House is cleaned and there’s a facebuster into a clothesline to send Edge outside. The spinebuster hits Orton….and HHH has torn his quad again (meaning he’ll be gone until Summerslam). He is still able to hit (most of) a spinebuster on Edge for two but Orton hits an RKO (or as close as HHH can get to taking one).

Shawn superkicks Orton down and Edge covers HHH for two. Back up the spear hits corner, allowing HHH to hit a better than expected Pedigree. That seems to be all he had left though as he can’t really cover, with Orton making a save. Shawn sends Orton outside for a dive and hits the referee, followed by a pair of nasty chair shots. HHH gets a chair of his own as Orton is WAY busted open. DX unloads with chair shots and stands tall as the match is thrown out.

Rating: B. HHH managing to fight through the ending alone is worth a bonus as that is one of the more impressive things I’ve seen in a good bit. It was a good match leading up to the injury and then they kept it moving even after that. With the ending being the perfect way to keep things going and get out of a bad situation. HHH was impressive here but it’s a shame that he is going to be gone for so long.

Post match (Maybe?) it’s a Pedigree to put Edge onto (not through) the announcers’ table and Shawn’s elbow puts Orton through another announcers’ table.

John Cena is told that it is clear Umaga wants some, but will he get some. Cena does his movie trailer/hype man impression and manages to mock Umaga’s lack of English at the same time. Thankfully Cena gets serious and admits that he is up against a monster who has not been pinned or made to submit. He isn’t going to give up though because he is proud to call himself the WWE Champion. Umaga is undefeated but nothing lasts forever and nothing is stopping him from leaving as WWE Champion.

Orton’s blood is EVERYWHERE, with a pool of it laying on the floor.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. Masters bails into the corner to start so Carlito takes him down and hammers away with left hands. A backdrop gets Masters out of trouble but Carlito is right back with a shot to the face. The double springboard moonsault gives Carlito two but Masters throws him down with one arm. A backbreaker into a clothesline gets two on Carlito and Masters asks if he is trying to impress Torrie. Back up and Carlito hits a knee lift into a flapjack for two so Masters tries the Masterlock. That’s blocked as well but the counter is countered into a cradle (with trunks) to give Masters the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and that is not what the show needed. Masters and Carlito are not the most interesting people in the first place and now we get to see them having a pay per view match in the cool down spot. That isn’t exactly thrilling and I was hoping that they would get on with it already.

Post match Masters knocks Carlito out with the Masterlock.

We recap Umaga vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Umaga is an undefeated monster so he is getting a title shot. Before we get there, Umaga beat Cena up a few times but Cena isn’t backing down.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga is challenging and has Armando Alejandro Estrada in his corner. We’re ready to go after the Big Match Intros with Cena sticking and moving to start. A missed charge to the floor does a bit more damage but Cena goes after him again and gets tossed outside. Back in and Cena gets up an elbow and boot in the corner, earning himself a hard clothesline. Cena hammers away with right hands but gets taken down with a Samoan drop.

Umaga knocks him face first into the announcers’ table and then the barricade for a bonus. Back in and Cena can’t sunset flip or slam him, with Umaga falling on top for two on the latter. A legdrop gets two but Umaga misses a charge, allowing Cena to go up. The high crossbody is countered into the swinging release Rock Bottom for two as Umaga keeps the pace slow. Umaga sits down on Cena’s chest as JR compares him to Yokozuna. Another cannonball lands on raised knees but Umaga sends him outside without much effort.

The nerve holds keeps Cena in trouble and an elbow to the face drops him again. The middle rope Samoan Spike only hits mat though and Cena wins the slugout. Cena sends him head first into the post and the ProtoBomb drops Umaga again. Umaga is back with the belly to belly and hangs Cena in the Tree of Woe for the flying headbutt. The running Umaga Attack hits boots though and Cena grabs a rollup out of nowhere to retain the title.

Rating: B-. I really liked the finish here as it felt like the most out of nowhere finish they could have had. That’s also the smartest finish they could have had, as it would have been a bit waste to have Umaga go down to the FU. Umaga completely dominated here but got caught instead of getting beaten. That’s a perfect way to set up a rematch and I’d be down for another one. What they did worked well, even if it wasn’t a great match on the way there.

Post match Cena celebrates as Umaga breaks a lot of stuff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The two major matches helped a lot but this was one of the most lifeless shows that I have seen in a very long time. It just wasn’t a very entertaining show with most of the matches being more boring than bad. There wasn’t much on here that felt pay per view worthy and while the two big matches worked, they didn’t work enough to make up for the rest of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania Backlash
Date: May 16, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Adnan Virk, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee, Michael Cole

It’s time for the Wrestlemania fallout pay per view and this time WWE isn’t exactly being subtle with the concept. The Raw side is mainly consisting of Wrestlemania rematches with another name added in, while the Smackdown side actually feels like some fresh matches. Hopefully that mixes together for a good show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sheamus to issue the open challenge, non-title of course.

Kickoff Show: Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Ricochet hammers away to start but gets taken down with a heck of a clothesline. Sheamus takes him into the corner and pounds him down, setting up the forearms to the chest. The fishhooking (dubbed the Dublin Smile) has Ricochet in even more trouble but Ricochet gets in some kicks to the chest.

The springboard clothesline into the standing shooting star into the Lionsault gives Ricochet two. Sheamus knees the heck out of him though but Ricochet hits a Backstabber into a springboard 450. The 630 misses though and Sheamus blasts him with another knee for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: C+. If nothing else, it was great to see Ricochet on a show outside of Main Event for a change as it makes me wonder if WWE is actually acknowledging the fact that he has been doing good stuff over there. That’s the kind of thing you can use these open challenges for, though the clean pin didn’t do him the most favors. It was better than nothing though, so maybe Ricochet’s fortunes are turning around a bit. I doubt it, but maybe.

Post match Sheamus puts on his hat and coat but Ricochet dropkicks him down and steals both of them.

The opening video, narrated by Batista, talks about how important Wrestlemania is while talking about where everything is going from here. The main matches get their focus as usual, while being interspersed with clips from Batista’s new Netflix film Army of the Dead.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match, with Rhea Ripley defending against Charlotte and Asuka. Ripley took the title from Asuka at Wrestlemania but then Charlotte returned and was put into the title match. Now it’s time for a triple threat for the title.

Raw Women’s Title: Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte vs. Asuka

Ripley is defending and Charlotte’s gear is Cruella de Ville/101 Dalmatians inspired. Graves calls Ripley “arguably the one with the most to lose in this match.” Charlotte bails to the floor to start but gets surrounded and the beating begins, including a double superkick to put her on the floor. Asuka rolls Ripley up for two but Charlotte pulls Asuka outside and grabs a suplex. Charlotte and Ripley have the showdown, with Charlotte shouting about being a THIRTEEN TIME CHAMPION.

Asuka is back up but Ripley kicks her down, followed by a dropkick to do the same to Charlotte. Ripley heads to the apron but Charlotte trips her down to take over. Back in and Charlotte talks trash to Asuka, who strikes away in a hurry. Asuka snaps off the armbar but Charlotte gets her feet to the ropes….which don’t count in a triple threat match. Ripley makes the save but Charlotte sends her face first into the middle buckle. Charlotte has to chop Asuka though, allowing Ripley to come back with some clotheslines.

Asuka is back up with the rapid fire strikes and the rolling German suplexes to Charlotte. The missile dropkick hits Ripley and a sliding knee from the apron rocks her again. Charlotte kicks Asuka outside and there’s the moonsault to take both of them down. Back in and a double superplex drops Charlotte to put everyone down. They slug it out from their knees but Charlotte flips out of another double suplex and chop blocks them both.

A double Natural Selection gets a double near fall but Charlotte misses the moonsault. Asuka Codebreakers Charlotte and counters the Riptide, allowing Charlotte to boot Ripley in the face. Charlotte spins out of the Asuka Lock and boots down a charging Asuka. The boot causes Charlotte to fall to the floor though and Ripley Riptides Asuka to retain at 15:22.

Rating: C+. As expected, this was more about Charlotte than anything else, as it seems to be in her contract. Ripley escaped with the title (as commentary put it) and odds are we are going to be seeing the Ripley vs. Charlotte showdown in the near future. Ripley winning is good, but it would be nice to not have to be reminded that Charlotte is the greatest and most amazing thing ever every time she is in a big story (which is about all she does).

We look back at Braun Strowman, Drew McIntyre and Bobby Lashley brawling on Raw.

Miz isn’t scared of Damian Priest but doesn’t know why this is a lumberjack match. Not to worry though as John Morrison is ready to take care of the lumberjacks and make Priest fall into his thirst trap. Miz: “I don’t think you know what thirst trap means.”

We look at Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler attacking Dominik Mysterio on the Kickoff Show.

Dominik can’t go so Rey Mysterio says he’ll do this himself.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio, in Adam West era Batman gear, is challenging on his own and hits them both in the face to start. Ziggler is knocked outside and a baseball slide sends him into the announcers’ table. Mysterio slides through Roode’s legs to splash Ziggler but Roode sends him head first into the apron. Back in and Rey drop toeholds Roode down setting up a victory roll for two.

Roode blasts Rey with a clothesline though and Ziggler comes in to rip at the face. It’s already back to Roode, who sends Rey into the corner to remind him there is no one to tag. Rey avoids a charge and dropkicks Ziggler off the apron but Roode knocks Mysterio into the Tree of Woe. Roode starts working on Rey’s knee and a wheelbarrow Fameasser combination gets two. Ziggler heads outside so Roode can throw Mysterio into a superkick (that was new/cool) for the nine as Ziggler can’t believe he beat the count.

Back in and Rey hits a double DDT, setting up a toss to send Ziggler into the post. Cue the banged up Dominik to get on the apron as Rey sends Roode outside, only to get Zig Zagged. Roode is back in for two off a gutbuster but he takes too long going up, allowing Rey to hit a super bulldog.

Rey gets over to the corner where Dominik tags himself in…and is spinebustered by Roode. Dominik is sent into the post but comes back with a superkick to Ziggler. The hot tag brings in Rey to clean house, including a 619 to Roode in the corner. Rey brings Dominik back in and sunset bombs Ziggler into the apron, setting up Dominik’s frog splash for the pin and the titles at 16:59.

Rating: B-. The action was good and the result is the right way to go, but I’m not sure why they couldn’t have just done the scheduled match without the Dominik injury angle. It was a dull start until Dominik got in and some things started happening though and that’s what mattered. What matters is getting the titles off of Roode and Ziggler though, as their reign was about as useless as you could get.

Post match, the Mysterios are rather pleased.

John Morrison goes to the lumberjacks’ conveniently labeled dressing room and finds….a bunch of zombies.

Jimmy Uso goes in to see Roman Reigns but finds Jey Uso. Jimmy thinks the door needs to say Roman Reigns and Jey Uso, or better yet, “Jimmy and Jey Uso, Tag Team Champions.” Does Jey even do Reigns’ laundry? Jey is ready to fight but here is Roman Reigns to stare Jimmy down. Jimmy wishes him good luck tonight and leaves.

John Morrison reports his zombie findings to Miz, who seems to think Morrison imagined it. The two leave and the zombies stagger after them.

Commentary (with a zombie on one of the screens behind them) explains that the zombies are from Batista’s Army of the Dead movie. Ah. Well that makes up for everything.

Damian Priest vs. Miz

John Morrison is here and there are indeed zombies, who have their own Titantron and theme music. They are everywhere, including underneath the announcers’ table, sending commentary running. Priest hammers away to start but gets knocked outside, where he beats up the zombies. Back inside and Miz gets in a big boot as Graves hits his tenth Walking Dead reference in about two minutes.

Priest sends him outside for a change and hits a clothesline on the way back in. The spinwheel kick sets up the top rope spinwheel kick for two more. Miz is back with the Figure Four until they get over to the ropes for the break. Both of them head outside to beat up the zombies together before diving back inside. Morrison gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Miz to hit the running knee for two. The zombies pull Morrison behind the barricade and apparently eat him, leaving Priest to Hit The Lights on Miz for the pin at 6:54.

Rating: F. Yeah I’m thinking no on this one. A zombie horde just attacked Miz, Morrison and Priest on pay per view and outside of what is likely a comedy spot tomorrow night for Miz and Morrison, we’re just going to move on. It’s a paid sponsorship and all that jazz, but Priest could be something on Raw (which desperately needs it) and he gets this instead. This was really annoying and as little as I was looking forward to another Miz vs. Priest match, they managed to make it even worse. The wrestling itself was pretty dull, but egads man. Just let Priest be a star already.

Post match the zombies swarm Miz as Priest leaves.

Hell in a Cell is coming on June 20. Normally that’s an October show so that’s interesting.

Jey Uso catches up with Jimmy Uso, who thinks the sign on the door should say “Roman Reigns and his b****.”

We recap Bayley vs. Bianca Belair for the Smackdown Women’s Title. Belair won the title at Wrestlemania and Bayley is ready to prove that it was a fluke, because she is the best ever.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Bianca Belair

Belair is defending as Miz and Morrison being devoured by zombies about ten minutes ago is already just a memory. They go technical to start but Belair takes her down into a waistlock with ease, seemingly freaking Bayley out. Bayley teases going after the hair so Belair rolls her up for two, with the kickout sending Belair into the corner. A hiptoss brings Bayley back in from the apron and it’s already time for the breather.

Back in and Bayley knees her down, setting up a chinlock to draw Belair back to her feet. A belly to back suplex gets two on Belair but she catches Bayley on top and hits a delayed suplex. They head outside with Bayley dropping her ribs first onto the steps and adding a suplex onto the floor for two. A spinning side slam gives Bayley two more but Belair sends her outside for a change.

That gets on Bayley’s nerves and she comes back in to hammer away. Belair makes the comeback and hits a spinebuster for two. Bayley runs her over again with a clotheslines and drops the top rope elbow for two of her own. With Belair sent outside again, Bayley misses a charge, allowing McAfee to get in MJF’s “better than you and you know it” line.

Back in and a rollup with feet on the ropes gives Bayley two. Bayley even rakes the eyes to keep Belair in trouble, allowing her to use the hair for a ripcord Bayley to Belly and another near fall. With nothing else working, Bayley loads up the Rose Plant with the hair, but Belair rolls her up and uses the hair to hook the leg for the pin to retain at 16:02. The ending might have been a bit botched though as the hair dropped the leg halfway through, making it looked like Bayley kicked out.

Rating: B-. There were some somewhat sloppy moments here but they did a nice job of keeping me into the match. It might not have had a ton of drama, but what mattered here was getting a lot of time on the way to getting Belair her first major title defense out of the way. The ending could set up a rematch, which somehow may already be inside the Cell. That’s a bit of a jump, but I could go for a rematch.

MVP suggests that Braun Strowman isn’t smart enough to accept the business offer he was given and tonight, he is going to lose as a result.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Bobby Lashley won the title in March, beat Drew McIntyre to retain at Wrestlemania, and then both McIntyre and Braun Strowman became #1 contender.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Lashley, with MVP, is defending. It’s a brawl to start with Strowman getting double teamed as the other two head outside. McIntyre sends Lashley into the post until Strowman dives off the apron to drop both of them. Back in and McIntyre runs Lashley over before hitting a neckbreaker on Strowman. They head outside again with Strowman using the steps to take both of them down but the non-Strowmans double team him down too.

Lashley suplexes McIntyre onto the ramp but another suplex into the ramp is blocked. McIntyre rams Lashley head first into the set over and over before tossing him through it, meaning we get some sparks. That leaves McIntyre alone to scream and…..get taken down by Strowman. There’s the Strowman Express to put McIntyre down at ringside, setting up the backsplash for two back inside. A missed charge sends Strowman into the corner though and McIntyre hits a pretty impressive Michinoku Driver for two.

Strowman backdrops him to the floor and tries the Express again but McIntyre belly to belly suplexes him (with Strowman landing on his head). The Claymore is countered into a powerbomb through the announcers’ table as the canned chants declare this awesome. Commentary declares that Strowman is about to be the new champion because WWE commentary gets extra dumb in triple threat matches. Back in and the running powerslam is countered, with McIntyre hitting the Claymore. The spear to Strowman retains the title at 14:18.

Rating: C+. And then they go on to the Cell with Lashley vs. McIntyre because this feud needs to continue to suit the calendar so Raw doesn’t have to come up with a single new idea ever because that’s not what they do. I did not want to see this match coming in and I don’t want to see any form of a rematch, but that is what we are going to get because Raw doesn’t exist to be entertaining or creative any longer. This was a completely watchable triple threat power match with one of the most overdone endings you’ll get, which shouldn’t surprise you at all.

Hell in a Cell ad.

We recap Cesaro vs Roman Reigns. After dispatching Daniel Bryan, Reigns needed a new challenger so Cesaro stepped up and issued the challenge. Cesaro then beat Seth Rollins to earn the shot, his first ever one on one match at the World Title. Jimmy Uso returning and not being cool with Reigns treating his brother like a servant is being added in as a bonus factor.

Smackdown World Title: Cesaro vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending but before the match, he has Jey stay in the back because he is too worried about Jimmy. They start slowly with Cesaro powering him into the corner. A shoulder doesn’t get anyone anywhere as McAfee’s microphone is breaking up badly. Cesaro rolls him up for two and it’s time for a meeting with Paul Heyman at ringside. Back in and Reigns sends Cesaro face first into the buckle but Cesaro scores with the springboard spinning uppercut.

The Swing is blocked though and Cesaro tweaks his arm, which Reigns sends into the post. Reigns grabs a cravate and suplexes him down for daring to try a comeback. The cravate goes on again and the jumping clothesline gives Reigns two. Reigns loads up the Superman Punch but Cesaro counters it into the pop up uppercut. Some kicks and elbows to the leg set up the Sharpshooter on Reigns, who gets to the ropes in a hurry. Cesaro sends him outside for a corkscrew dive, followed by a high crossbody for two.

Reigns catches him on top though and grabs the arm again for a big boot, meaning the arm gets pulled again. The shotgun dropkick sends Cesaro’s shoulder into the post for two back inside and it’s time to crank on the arm even more. Reigns mocks Cesaro saying wrestling is fun and knees away in the corner, followed by a big boot to drop him again. Some uppercuts give Cesaro a breather and the discus lariat drops Reigns, only to bang up the bad arm even more.

They slug it out from their knees with Cesaro knocking him to the apron, setting up the apron superplex for two more. The arm gives out on the Neutralizer attempt though and Reigns pulls him down into the Fujiwara armbar. That’s reversed into a cradle for two but another springboard uppercut is Superman Punched out of the air for two.

The pop up uppercut doesn’t work again as the arm gives out, allowing Reigns to grab the guillotine. Cesaro powers out and gets the Sharpshooter (pulling back with the hands instead of wrapping the arm around) before switching into a Crossface in the middle of the ring. Reigns powers out of the grip and unloads with forearms to the face, followed by a Batista Bomb for two.

Cesaro flips him over but Reigns is right back with a front facelock into the guillotine. That’s reverses with something close to a powerbomb and Cesaro slips out, only to get pulled into it again. Cesaro tries to power out of the grip but the arm can’t do it and Cesaro is finally out at 27:24.

Rating: B+. Cesaro certainly brought it here and will likely get another title shot at some point. There is zero shame in losing to Reigns at the moment and Cesaro gave it quite the run here. This felt like a main event and Reigns broke a sweat, though I wasn’t quite believing that Cesaro was going to pull it off. Cesaro just getting here was the real accomplishment, making this more like the first Rocky vs. Apollo Creed fight. Very good match here, as Cesaro showed he can go at this level.

Post match here is Jey Uso to acknowledge Reigns with the lei, before jumping Cesaro. Cue Seth Rollins….to go after Cesaro as well. Rollins stomps him to the floor and hits him with a few chair shots. The chair is wrapped around the bad arm and sent into the post, followed by a Stomp on the floor to end the show. That’s probably your Smackdown Cell match.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of the hardest ratings I’ve ever had to put together because the show is so torn down the middle. The Smackdown stuff was good to very good with matches that had been built up (some better than others) and then executed well enough. Their side did well and it felt like half of a pay per view.

Then there’s Raw and oh my goodness. I watch the show every week and somehow they have managed to get even worse time after time. Not only did the build feel lazy coming into the show (Hey, here are the Wrestlemania matches with one extra person added in as we keep talking about Wrestlemania!), but then you had another Charlotte showcase (#1928 I believe), a three way match where they hit each other over and over and then someone stole the pin and then……that other match.

First of all, I get why they did the zombie tie-in. It’s a check from Netflix and Batista is in the movie and all that good stuff. All fine and good, but there was NOWHERE else on the show to put that? Not as a segment, a backstage deal, or with R-Truth or something? No clearly the best solution was to put it in a match that didn’t need to happen in the first place and make the whole thing into a commercial instead of a way to make Priest look good. The match completely took me out of the rest of the show and I could not bring myself to be interested in anything else they did until the main event got rolling.

Tonight was a perfect summary of Raw in a few hours: the creative is repetitive and lazy and they do not care about building up anyone new because they know people are going to watch anyway. Smackdown is a perfectly fine if not good wrestling show and Raw is whatever garbage Vince and Bruce green light after turning down what are probably much better ideas. So enjoy your three hours of nonsense as the show continues to spin its wheels for years on end because WWE has gotten paid and it isn’t like they would get paid MORE with a bigger audience or anything.

Overall, this show was right down the middle, with the Smackdown stuff feeling good and the Raw stuff feeling like Raw stuff. Outside of the commercial called a match, the Raw matches were far from terrible, but they felt like something that had to be done instead of something with effort put into them. That has been the case from Raw for a long time now and there is nothing to suggest it is going to get any better.

Results

Rhea Ripley b. Asuka and Charlotte – Riptide to Asuka

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Roode

Damian Priest b. Miz – Hit The Lights

Bianca Belair b. Bayley – Rollup

Bobby Lashley b. Braun Strowman and Drew McIntyre – Spear to Strowman

Roman Reigns b. Cesaro – Guillotine
 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re wrapping up the pay per view year with a Smackdown offering and it isn’t looking like the most important show. The card features a triple main event, including a Last Ride match, an Inferno match and a tag match with John Cena coming over from Raw as a guest star. I’m not sure if that is going to be enough but they certainly have some star power. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the triple main event, which is nearly half of the card.

Kane vs. MVP

Inferno match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire and you set your opponent on fire to win. After his intro, we get a video on MVP coming to Smackdown and getting on Kane’s bad side, setting up this match. MVP tries to bail but gets stopped by the flames, meaning it is time for Kane to start hammering away in the corner. A backdrop makes the flames pop up and there’s a forearm to the back of the head, which does nothing to the flames because it isn’t a big crash.

Kane’s superplex is broken up and MVP hits a high crossbody as they continue to use moves they don’t use in regular matches. MVP hits a running boot in the corner but Kane is back with a big boot of his own. The chokeslam connects and Kane rips a turnbuckle pad off…but it puts the flames out when he tries to light it on fire for no apparent reason. Instead Kane hits a side slam and sends MVP outside, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane avoids being sent into the fire and chokes MVP into it for the win.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how much better this could have been as it is the kind of match that does not leave you with many options. They are stuck in the ring and the whole match is designed to tease the fire spot. Throw in the fact that so many of the moves and spots are designed to make the flames go up rather than anything they would usually do. They were trying, but you can only do so much.

Post match, MVP gets extinguished as JBL freaks out a lot.

Teddy Long is having a Christmas party for the Divas and has a present for them: a Naughty or Nice lingerie contest. Good thing they bring that stuff with them I guess.

JBL is still incensed over MVP as we kill off some time for the fire equipment to be removed.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending….but hold on as here is Teddy Long, who is still in the Christmas spirit. Let’s make this a little more fun.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. Hold on again though as Long isn’t done.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. Hardys

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. I’m not sure what authority Long has over Raw stars appearing in teams that don’t exist anymore but oh well. JBL: “There is nobody better in ladder matches than the Hardys.” This is true as they won….no that was Edge and Christian. Uh….no that one was too. I’m sure they were the best like once or twice or so!

Anyway, it’s a brawl to start until we get the Hardys vs. London/Kendrick showdown, much to the fans’ delight. The Spin Cycle plants Kendrick but the villains come back in to clean house. MNM and the Hardys get in a fight over who gets to bring in the ladders with the Hardys throwing them inside, though managing to avoid the Brits. Poetry In Motion hits Taylor and MNM gives him a Snapshot to make it worse.

Matt whips Kendrick into a ladder (ow) but London dropkicks Jeff off of another ladder. Mercury climbs up so a bunch of people pick up the ladder and drop it, including Mercury, onto the ropes, sending Mercury onto Nitro on the floor. Another Poetry In Motion misses in the corner and only hits the ladder to knock Jeff silly again. London’s climb is cut off in a hurry and Kendrick is pulled down after getting just slightly higher. Matt gets dropped onto a bridged ladder for a top rope double stomp from Kendrick but gets up to stop Jeff from being superplexed onto some ladders.

Instead Jeff turns the ladder into a seesaw, which smashes Mercury’s nose halfway out of the arena, leaving him gushing blood and in no shape to continue. The replay shows Mercury’s head snapping back in a rather scary looking visual. Regal and Taylor get back up to start taking over and suplex London into a ladder in the corner. Matt gets up for a save and neckbreakers Taylor as Jeff brings in another ladder (and you can see the blood pooled up on the floor).

Nitro knocks the ladder out from under Jeff on the floor for another crash and then drops another down onto Regal inside. This time it’s Kendrick making the save so London springboards in with a dropkick to cut Nitro off. London catches Matt on top and hammers away until Matt backdrops him down for another huge crash.

Now it’s Nitro and Jeff’s turn, with Jeff busting out a huge sunset bomb. Matt climbs a pair of ladders but the Brits pull him down in a hurry. A running knee to the head drops Matt and Regal goes up, only to have Kendrick bring him down for a huge crash. London goes up top, punches Matt down, and pulls down the titles to retain.

Rating: A-. It deserves a bit of an upgrade just because of how bad Mercury’s face looked. This was all about one big spot after another and that worked out very well, as you kind of knew these teams would be able to do. Taylor and Regal felt out of their element but you need someone there to offer a change of style. London and Kendrick continue to look unstoppable and the idea of them against the Hardys is rather dream matchish at this point.

Kristal tries out her lingerie and JBL doesn’t seem to remember MVP’s troubles.

Miz vs. Boogeyman

JBL: “You had an inferno match, you had a ladder match and now you have this unfettered jackass.” Miz brags about beating Boogeyman tonight and JBL rants over him, as only Miz can make JBL this incensed. Boogeyman gyrates around to start and knocks Miz outside as JBL tries to figure out why Miz’s hair is cut that way. Cole thinks Miz winning here would be a huge upset. JBL: “Miz being in the ring would be a huge upset. He’s in the ring and I’m upset.” Boogeyman hits a backdrop but Miz hits a quick shot to the face. Miz goes up top, only to dive into a chokebomb (which takes a second to get right) for the pin.

Post match, Miz gets wormed.

Chavo Guerrero dedicates his US Title match to Vickie Guerrero, who thanks him for being a real man.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero, with Chavo accusing Benoit of being a woman beater due to accidentally running into Vickie at Survivor Series.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo is defending and has Vickie Guerrero with him. Chavo jumps him to start but Benoit chops away and forearms him in the face. Some right hands keep Chavo down and Benoit throws him outside to keep up the beating. Back in and the rolling German suplexes have Chavo rocked but it’s way too early for the Swan Dive.

Instead Chavo catches him on top for the superplex for two before starting in on the back. The reverse chinlock goes on so Benoit fights up, earning himself another knee to the back to keep him in trouble. Benoit’s Crossface attempt is broken up and Chavo gets to pose a bit. Chavo ties him in the Tree of Woe but a baseball slide only hits post. He’s fine enough to rake the eyes, hit the Eddie dance, and try Three Amigos.

That takes too long as well though as Benoit rolls eight straight German suplexes for a standing ovation. The threat of the Sharpshooter draws in Vickie with the title so Benoit tries it on her, only to get rolled up by Chavo for two. You don’t do that to Benoit, who reverses into the Sharpshooter to retain.

Rating: C+. These two work well together, though I’m not sure how much drama there was in the idea of Chavo winning the title. He has been well built and the story seemed to call for the change, but that is a bit too far to imagine Chavo actually going. Benoit winning is fine too, as he could put over a bigger, or at least more promising, name down the line.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go technical to start and that means an early standoff. Yang takes him down and goes up but has to bail out of a moonsault attempt. A quick suplex sets up an even more quickly broken chickenwing as Helms sends him outside. Some forearms to the back set up a neck snap across the top, followed by some choking. Yang manages a backdrop to the floor and a dive drops Helms again.

Back in and Helms kicks him down, setting up the chinlock to draw the BORING chants. JBL even acknowledges it and yells at the fans for not getting it (fair enough as it’s not that bad). Yang makes the comeback and hits a spinwheel kick in the corner for his own two. Helms catches him on top and hits a super neckbreaker as the chants continue. A dropkick knocks Helms out of the air and Yang goes up, only to miss a corkscrew moonsault. Helms grabs a yet to be named Codebreaker to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here and the boring chants were fairly ridiculous. The problem is there is no reason to care about the title and WWE has made it even worse. At the end of the day, the title means nothing and the fact that Helms barely ever defends the thing makes it worse. Just saying that Helms has held the title forever isn’t going to make fans care about it. Having matches like this over and over could, but I have no reason to believer that is the case.

We recap Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in the Last Ride match, which feels like the real main event of the show. Kennedy has attacked Undertaker a few times and even busted him open with a microphone. After Kennedy and MVP accidentally conspired to beat Undertaker in a First Blood match at Survivor Series, it is time to end Kennedy once and for all.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Last Ride match, meaning a casket match but with a hearse that has to be driven out of the arena. The hearse is wheeled into the arena and Kennedy gets to promise to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy dodges around to start and the referee bails outside (Why was he in there in the first place?). Undertaker gets sick of the movement and grabs Kennedy by the neck, meaning the beating is on in a hurry.

There’s a toss over the announcers’ table and then another into the apron but Kennedy manages to get in a shot of his own. Kennedy’s dive off the apron is pulled out of the air, with Undertaker tossing him around again. They fight up to the hearse, with Undertaker being driven into the closed door. It’s way too early to get him inside and close the door though, with Undertaker kicking his way out. Kennedy gets dropped onto the steps and they head back inside with Undertaker nailing a superplex.

They’re already back outside with Kennedy getting smart by jumping onto Undertaker’s back for the choking. The unconscious Undertaker is sent inside but comes out the front door to escape and hammer away. Back in and Kennedy grabs a chair to knock Undertaker silly a few times, earning himself some quick situps. Kennedy bails and the chase is on as they head up the set. Undertaker is then thrown off said set, which is quite the crash that lands on a big pad.

We cut to some fans chanting for Kennedy as he puts the unconscious Undertaker inside for the second time. Kennedy gets in the driver’s seat and Undertaker sits up in the back (obvious but it worked). Undertaker pulls him out and hits a chair to the back. Another one to the head busts Kennedy open and there’s a chokeslam onto the roof. The Tombstone onto the roof knocks Kennedy silly and Undertaker puts him inside for the win.

Rating: B. It was violent and pretty definitive, though Undertaker winning the big blowoff in the end didn’t do Kennedy the biggest favors. What matters here though is that Kennedy got to look at least somewhat even in this big of a match against Undertaker. I’m not sure if it lived up to the brutality that JBL promised, but it was the best thing on the show so far and felt like a main event.

Finlay and King Booker promise to not double cross each other. Bickering begins to ensue but Queen Sharmell comes in to say cool it because they need each other. Finlay says he has the Leprechaun and all Booker has is Sharmell. Booker and Sharmell are incensed.

Here’s Santa Claus, sending JBL into a bit about wanting to buy the North Pole and cook the reindeer. Santa says it is cold at the North Pole so it’s time to heat things up here. Therefore, it’s time for the Diva lingerie contest. We have Kristal, Layla, Jillian Hall and Ashley. They all take their time modeling/dancing and the fans are a little more pleased with Layla and Ashley. Everyone winds up winning and Santa disrobes as Big Dick Johnson. Dancing ensues.

We recap Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker. Batista has been dealing with both of them and gets to pick any partner he wants for the match. Guest starring ensued.

Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker

Batista has a banged up arm coming in and Queen Sharmell is here with the villains. Cena and Booker get things going with a lockup until Booker drives him into the corner. Some knees to the ribs don’t do much good as Cena armdrags him into an armbar. Batista and Finlay come in with Batista grinding away on a headlock. Finlay gets up a knee in the corner but dives into Batista’s arms.

That means something like a MuscleBuster of all things with Booker breaking up the cover and coming in off the tag. A clothesline gets two on Booker and it’s back to Cena with a bulldog. Finlay has to break up the STFU and the distraction lets Sharmell slip Booker the scepter. A shot to Cena’s throat gives Booker two and a quick cheap shot from the Leprechaun has Cena in even more trouble.

Cena slips away from Booker and grabs a DDT though and they’re both down. The hot tag brings in Batista to clean house and a Boss Man Slam drops Booker. Everything breaks down and Finlay chairs Batista in the leg. The chair is kicked back into Finlay and the leg is fine enough for a spinebuster on Booker. The Batista Bomb is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. I believe the words ho-hum would apply here, as this felt like little more than a house show main event. Seeing Cena and Batista together is cool, but it isn’t like this came off as anything close to feeling like a pay per view main event. It wasn’t a bad match as they kept this short and to the point, but it still wasn’t exactly something that felt like it belonged in this spot save for the star power.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Maybe it was the lower expectations but I had a good time with this one. The opener is the only thing that was particularly bad, and if you ignore the fact that this show means absolutely nothing and was only there because something had to be, you should have some fun with the thing. The ladder match is excellent and the Last Ride match is quite good as well. Good show here, even if it isn’t going to mean a thing in the long term.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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December To Dismember
Date: December 3, 2006
Location: James Brown Arena, Augusta, Georgia
Attendance: 4,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

Well here we go. For the first time ever, the reincarnated ECW is getting its own pay per view and we have two matches announced on the way in. One of those matches features two teams who aren’t on ECW and the other is the EXTREME Elimination Chamber. This is not exactly looking promising but let’s get to it.

The opening video entirely focuses on the Chamber, with nothing else getting any focus. So half of the matches got a look, so maybe things are looking up.

Hardys vs. MNM

This is the result of the Hardys’ open challenge and neither of the teams are on ECW. Matt starts with Mercury and shoulders him down, meaning it’s already off to a double standoff. With that settled down, Mercury shrugs off some arm cranking and hands it off to Nitro as everything breaks down again. The Hardys clean house and it’s Nitro blocking Jeff’s jawbreaker and taking him into the corner to put him in trouble for the first time.

Jeff isn’t having that either and fights out, allowing the tag off to Matt to pick up the pace again. Melina offers a distraction though and MNM manages a double gutbuster to take him down. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Matt but he manages a double DDT. Jeff gets knocked off the apron and it’s MNM hitting Poetry In Motion to rock Matt again. Not that it matters as Matt fights up and makes it over to Jeff for the hot tag a few seconds later anyway.

Everything breaks down again and it’s time for the parade of dives onto the floor. Back in and Nitro hits a springboard missile dropkick for two on Jeff. A double catapult sends Jeff face first into the buckle and Mercury cranks on both of Jeff’s arms for a bit. Jeff gets flipped into the corner and some forearms to the back keep him in trouble. There’s a slingshot elbow for two and we hit the reverse chinlock.

With that broken up, another double catapult is countered as Jeff comes back with a double Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt, including the middle rope legdrop for two on Nitro. Back up and Nitro snaps off a super hurricanrana on Jeff but the Hardys get up again and nail stereo superplexes.

With Jeff up first, Melina gets on the apron but her slap is blocked by Jeff grabbing his arm. Jeff steps away and Nitro dropkicks Melina by mistake, setting up a rollup for a rather hot near fall. The Snapshot gets two with Matt making the save so MNM puts Jeff on top. Matt makes another save and neckbreakers them down, setting up the Swanton onto the two of them for the double pin.

Rating: B. It’s rather good and I don’t think anyone should be surprised by that. You had two great teams going at it in a twenty minute match. I’m not sure how this couldn’t be good, though it’s kind of disappointing to hear that both teams are splitting up after this. It doesn’t make sense given how good this was, but it isn’t like WWE really cares about the tag division anyway.

Commentary hypes up the Elimination Chamber. It isn’t a good sign that they need filler like this.

Rob Van Dam is ready to take the risks for the chance to become ECW Champion again.

Here’s Matt Striker for a chat and it’s time to go downhill. Striker talks about the chaos and destruction that is coming tonight in the Chamber. He asks the fans if they want to see someone like him in an extreme rules match. The fans approve, so Striker is going to be in an EXTREME RULES match tonight. Now that means an EXTREME enforcement of the RULES of course, meaning no eye gouging, hair pulling, coming off the top or foul language of course. Let’s see how extreme his opponent can be.

Matt Striker vs. Balls Mahoney

Mahoney throws him down to start so Striker comes back with some forearms. That’s broken up so Mahoney tries a cross armbreaker of all things, with Striker going straight to the ropes. More forearms to the back stagger Mahoney and striker sends him shoulder first into the post. A Regal Cutter gives Striker two and it’s time to crank on the arm.

Mahoney comes back with right hands to the face (Striker picks no eye gouging but ignores punches from a guy with a signature sequence involving punches to the face. Right.) but gets pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. That’s broken up and Mahoney’s arm gives out on the snap jab attempt. Striker crotches him on top and the Fujiwara armbar goes on again. Mahoney fights back up with a belly to back suplex and now the punches work. The sitout spinebuster finishes Striker off.

Rating: D. Ignoring the fact that we’re on pay per view, this wouldn’t have even been a good TV match. Striker wanted the rules enforced and then they had a regular match. Having Mahoney win was one of the two ways they could have gone, but if this was their way of giving the fans something to cheer for, we’re in a lot more trouble than I thought.

Brian Pillman has a DVD (not on Peacock obviously).

Sabu has been attacked. After losing on Tuesday, it isn’t like he had any momentum or chance anyway. So yeah he’s not likely for the main event and you can hear the BULLS*** chants as we come back to the arena.

Sylvester Terkay/Elijah Burke vs. FBI

Trinity is here with the FBI. Before the match, Burke promises that they will leave their mark like a wild beast in heat. Commentary drools over Trinity as Guido and Burke (in a hat) start things off. Guido takes him down (and steals his hat) by the arm and hands it off to Mamaluke. A few fans try a WHERE’S MY PIZZA chant ala the original ECW because he thinks it is still alive.

Terkay misses a splash in the corner but manages to pull Guido’s high crossbody out of the air. After Terkay throws the FBI outside, it’s back in for a chinlock from Burke. Guido fights up and hands it off to Mamaluke so the pace can pick up. A double dropkick into a double flapjack gets two on Burke but Terkay gets in a cheap shot from the apron. The Elijah Experience finishes Mamaluke.

Rating: D+. Slightly better match but that is mainly due to having slightly more interesting people involved. Terkay and Burke are two more people who don’t really feel like they belong in ECW but at least they did something here and add a little variety. Not much of a match, though you have to take what you can get on this show.

Post match, Terkay hits Guido with a MuscleBuster for a bonus.

CM Punk and Rob Van Dam watch Sabu being loaded into an ambulance.

Daivari vs. Tommy Dreamer

Great Khali is here with Daivari, who rants about how Khali in Farsi. Daivari hammers away to start but a glare from Dreamer sends him bailing outside (just don’t let Dreamer talk). Back in and a hiptoss sends Daivari right back to the floor but this time he comes back in with a dropkick. There’s a baseball slide to put Dreamer on the floor but he reverses a whip to send Daivari into the barricade.

Back in and Khali low bridges Dreamer right back to the floor, earning himself an ejection. The fans say they want hardcore but get a neck crank into a chinlock instead. Dreamer fights up drops backwards onto Daivari for the break, followed by a reverse DDT for two. The Death Valley Driver is broken up but Daivari catches him on top. That means the Tree of Woe into the running dropkick…..but then Daivari rolls him up with tights for the pin.

Rating: D-. Gah no. Another nothing match here which would have been bad either here or on television and that is hardly the kind of thing that is going to make the show better. The ending was pretty awful as Dreamer just started to get going and then Daivari pinned him without much thinking. Bad match, bad setup and worse ending, especially on this show.

Post match Dreamer chases Daivari up the stage, where Khali catches him with the tree slam. Therefore, we pause for Dreamer to be checked on but then get up.

Paul Heyman puts Hardcore Holly into the main event to replace Sabu. This is booed out of the building.

Kelly Kelly/Mike Knox vs. Ariel/Kevin Thorn

Oh this could be trouble. Before the match, Kelly wishes CM Punk luck in the main event. The guys start (thank goodness) by shoving each other around before Thorn clotheslines him down and grabs a quickly released neck crank. A hard clothesline cuts Knox down again and we hit another nothing chinlock.

Knox fights up with a slam for two and kicks Thorn in the face for a knockdown. This time it’s Knox cranking on Thorn’s neck but Ariel makes the save. She even stays in this time and wants Kelly to join her, meaning it’s time for a lot of hair pulling (Striker disapproves). A boot choke in the corner has Tazz losing his train of thought and an ax handle to the back cuts Kelly off again. Kelly manages to kick Ariel away though….and Knox walks out on her, leaving Ariel to hit a choke STO for the pin.

Rating: D-. It was a nothing match and the high point was Mike Knox vs. Kevin Thorn. This is airing on pay per view and would have been an ice cold match on TV in addition to the match being terrible as a bonus. I didn’t think this show could actually fall even further but this pay per view continues to amaze me.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Sandman makes the save. Thorn gets caned down and beer is consumed.

We get a video of Michael Cole running down the Armageddon card. Also not on Peacock.

Bobby Lashley says it is his destiny to win the title.

Video on the Elimination Chamber. Notice the high level of padding tonight.

We’re still not ready yet though as here is Paul Heyman, with security, for a chat. Heyman talks about how Hulkamania will die with Hulk Hogan and WOO will die with Ric Flair. ECW will live on behind him though, with Big Show as its champion. The days of Sandman and Sabu and Tommy Dreamer are over and it is the ECW of the Big Show. Now lower the Chamber!

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Hardcore Holly vs. CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Show is defending in the Extreme Elimination Chamber, meaning there is a weapon in each pod. Hardcore Holly is in at #1 and Rob Van Dam is in at #2 and there are five minute intervals. Holly takes him into the corner and starts kicking away but Rob pops up and gets sent into the cage….but holds onto the side because he can. The spinning high crossbody only hits the rope though and Van Dam crashes down again. Van Dam gets sent into the cage again but manages to get a boot up to cut off a diving Holly.

Rolling Thunder over the top rope hits Holly but he suplexes Van Dam back inside. There’s the dropkick and it’s CM Punk with his chair in at #3. A monkey flip sends Holly onto the chair and Punk kicks Van Dam down. The chair is wedged in the corner and Van Dam, who has been busted open somewhere in there, is sent hard into it. Punk kicks him again but Holly is back up with a side slam. Holly drops Punk onto the top rope and there’s a top rope superplex to take him down again.

Test, with his crowbar, is in at #4 and hits Punk in the ribs before clawing at Van Dam’s cut. Punk grabs a Stunner on Test of the top rope and the bloody Van Dam kicks Holly in the face. Van Dam skateboards the chair into Punk in the corner and hits the Five Star for the pin and the elimination for Punk’s first pinfall in WWE. Test kicks Holly in the face for an elimination, even if the count didn’t seem to go down properly. Van Dam goes up top but Test chairs him in the knee and pulls him right back down in a crash.

An elbow off the top of the pod onto the chair onto Van Dam is good for the elimination, meaning that the countdown to Lashley is official. It also means that the ring is clear, save for Test, for about a minute and a half because this match can’t time things either. Bobby Lashley with his table is….not allowed to get in because test and the security guards block the door. That’s fine with Lashley, who uses the table to break the roof open and climbs through the top. Eh points for a cool entrance.

Lashley unloads for a bit until Test gets him into the corner for some choking. Lashley suplexes him down, hits him with the crowbar, and nails a spear for the pin. Therefore, let’s wait a minute and a half before Big Show with his barbed wire baseball bat can come in at #6 to give us the showdown. Lashley has to use the chair to shield himself with the bat but manages to knock Show outside anyway. Show is sent through the pod to bust him open but he knocks Lashley down again. Back in and the chokeslam is countered into a DDT, followed by a spear for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. And that’s probably high. This was a really dull Chamber with the two badly times falls that left them sitting around with nothing to do for a few minutes. The match is less than twenty five minutes and you knew that Lashley had the title won with about ten minutes to go.

Look at the participants here. Van Dam, Show and Lashley are fine, but that leaves you with three pretty weak choices. Punk would go on to become a huge star, but at this point he had been around for a few months with his career consisting of feuds with Shannon Moore and Mike Knox. That is kind of lacking in any kind of meaningful wins in WWE and it showed badly. The other two are Test and Hardcore Holly as a replacement. That leaves you with three options, but Test dominated a good portion of the middle. That’s the best they could put together and that should tell you a whole low.

The show was long past the point of saving by the time we got to the match, but then they had this boring mess to make it even worse. There was no drama, the popular guys were done in less than fifteen minutes and the weapons managed to make it less violent than the previous Elimination Chambers. Not the worst match of all time, but pretty horrible and probably the worst Chamber match to date, if nothing else for the star power included and the lack of drama near the end.

Lashley’s pyro celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. What is there to say about this show? It’s a good match, then a C level version of the C level TV show and a huge main event which bombed as hard as anything in recent memory. This show felt slapped together and I would bet on the middle four matches being thrown together earlier in the day. Outside of the opener, the best match on the card was the FBI vs. Sylvester Terkay and Elijah Burke. Do you get how far you have fallen to have those four in second place?

This show made it very clear that WWE did not care about ECW and there was no stopping the show’s collapse even further into nothingness. There was no effort, there was one good match out of six (featuring people not from ECW) and the main event was a mixture of predictable and bad. This is what we got for the first ECW pay per view, which does at least give us a special milestone.

With this show, you can officially say that the new ECW is done. There wasn’t much to the show coming in and then it got even worse here. The show resulted in Paul Heyman leaving WWE and ECW, making this nothing more than the dumping ground for the people with nothing else to do. It was clear that the show wasn’t going to mean anything and once Heyman left, there was no reason to pretend anymore.

Heyman argued with Vince McMahon about the show both before and after, resulting in Heyman walking out on the company and not being seen again for over five years. Heyman’s idea was to have Punk make Show submit early and win the title, which worked fine for Show. Instead, Punk goes out first to end his undefeated streak. Heyman knew that things were done so he left, and after this debacle, can you really blame him?

One thing that doesn’t get the attention it deserves is the middle of the card with the four matches between the two they actually advertised. Striker vs. Mahoney is at least a logical way to go and Daivari vs. Dreamer has been built up a bit on TV. That leaves you with a tag team squash and a mixed tag with three heels and Kelly Kelly. I know WWE has a lot of problems, but they know how to throw together a four match series better than this. This felt like they were trying to troll the fans (or at least Heyman) and with none of these matches even hitting eight minutes, the lack of effort is pretty clear.

This show is about as perfect of an example of a show where WWE didn’t care and we were just left to get over it. It was a week after Survivor Series and two weeks before Armageddon, so in addition to treating the fans to an awful show, how many fans who watched or heard about the show passed on the next show because of what WWE delivered here?

This didn’t feel like a pay per view (a two hour and fifteen minute run time, comparable to Coliseum Videos didn’t help either) and it has absolutely earned the reputation that it maintains. I know it isn’t quite the same thing as a top level WWE pay per view, but it is hard to think of anything that the company has released that is near its level. This show is a complete disaster and one of the all time bombs on pay per view.

 

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Roadblock: End of the Line
Date: December 18, 2016
Location: PPG Paints Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’ll wrap up the pay per view calendar with this show, our third pay per view in about a month. This isn’t the hottest card in the world with a fairly lame main event of United States Champion Roman Reigns challenging Kevin Owens for the Universal Title. There’s also an Iron Man match as Sasha Banks defends the Women’s Title against Charlotte. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Rusev vs. Big Cass

This is over Big Cass defending Enzo Amore, who tried to sleep with Rusev’s life. Before the match, Enzo says something about Lana owing him money and Rusev playing Jumanji in the hotel room. Enzo puts on a red nose and Cass lists off the eight reindeer. Cass kicks Rusev in the face and we take a break less than thirty seconds in.

Back with Cass hammering away and dropping the Empire Elbow for no cover. They head outside Rusev taking him out into the crowd, leaving Enzo to go after Lana. Rusev defends his wife while Cass checks on Enzo, leaving Rusev to beat the count at 4:33. Not enough for a rating but this was rematch bait.

The opening video has a police chase theme with the idea being that everything ends at the end of the line.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

New Day is defending. Big E. is confused about what the show is called because he thinks it’s a rather different, very un-PG kind of blocking. I’ll let you figure out what the joke there is. Woods suggests that the challengers should be called Swing Low Irish Chariot. Cesaro dropkicks Kofi at the bell for two and it’s already time for the uppercut train. It’s too early for the Swing so Sheamus clotheslines Kofi instead.

The slingshot shoulder gets two on Kingston and Swiss Death is good for the same. This has been completely one sided so far. Kofi breaks up the ten forearms and brings in Big E. for the spear off the apron. The Warrior Splash gets two on Sheamus and everything breaks down. Sheamus kicks Cesaro by mistake and Woods kicks Cesaro by design, setting up the Big Ending for a very close two.

The Midnight Hour is broken up and Big E. gets the Brogue Kick. Cesaro Swings Kofi into the Sharpshooter for the submission….but Woods has the referee. Cesaro lifts Kofi up into a suplex and rolls into the Neutralizer for two with Big E. making the save this time. That was some scary power, as is always the case with Cesaro.

Woods sacrifices himself to take the Brogue Kick and the SOS gets two on Sheamus. Cesaro comes in without a tag (though Sheamus was right next to him), meaning Kofi kicks Cesaro for no count. Instead Sheamus sneaks in and rolls Kofi up for the pin and the titles at 10:00.

Rating: B-. The ending was really good but I have no interest in Sheamus and Cesaro holding the belts. It’s more than fine to take them off New Day now but you really couldn’t do this at the Rumble against Enzo and Cass or ANYONE that might draw some interest? People didn’t care about Cesaro and Sheamus at first and I doubt they will now, but this was going to happen no matter what.

New Day gets the big show of respect and we get the battle for the spotlight from the new champs.

Kevin Owens doesn’t care about New Day because that will never happen to him. After insulting the interviewer, Owens flags down Chris Jericho and gives him a present. Jericho isn’t impressed with his holiday scarf.

Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman

Ten minute time limit as Raw GM Mick Foley is scared for Sami’s health. The ring announcer says Sami must last ten minutes though, which makes things a bit unclear. So can Sami not even go for wins? Sami dodges for the first thirty seconds and Braun no sells a chop. Braun gets his hands on Sami for a big toss and kicks him in the ribs for good measure.

We’re down to eight minutes as Sami knocks Braun over the top, only to have Strowman come back in and hammer away with ease. The referee starts to check on Sami with about six minutes to go but Zayn wants to keep going. Braun lets Sami stumble around as we get down to five minutes. Some very hard clotheslines take us to four minutes and here’s Foley with a white towel.

Sami is thrown down at Mick’s feet and Braun goes outside to talk trash. Zayn grabs the towel and throws it into the crowd with two minutes left. Strowman promises to finish this himself but misses a charge into the post. Another missed charge sends Braun through the barricade but Strowman beats the count with 47 seconds left. A third missed charge hits the post and Sami gets two off a high crossbody. Sami is knocked to the floor but comes back in for the Helluva Kick as time ends at 10:00 (really 10:12).

Rating: D+. Corey sums it up perfectly: Sami didn’t win anything here. He just didn’t get killed. This really belonged as an angle on Raw to set up the pay per view match instead of being the match itself. Sami hitting his finisher (which didn’t knock Braun down) to end the match was a nice touch but I really have no idea where this goes outside of Braun beating Sami in another match.

Package on the UK tournament.

We recap Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins. Jericho lost to Rollins several times but then started costing Rollins matches against Owens. This earned Jericho a Pedigree on top of a car and that means a match.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho headlocks him to start and does the Gift of Jericho pose. Chris stops him with a raised boot and the missile dropkick gets two. A rake of the eyes slows Rollins down (he even makes like he can’t see for a bit, which you almost never see anymore) but he’s easily able to catapult Jericho into the buckle.

Jericho gets in a clothesline and we hit the ASK HIM chinlock. Back up and Rollins fires off some right hands followed by the Slingblade. A Blockbuster gets two and Jericho gets shoved out to the floor. Rollins’ springboard knee is countered into the Walls which last about as long as you would expect them to. Now the Lionsault is good for two and Seth’s Falcon’s Arrow gets the same.

Rollins tries the Pedigree but Jericho powers out and gets in a hurricanrana, which transitions into the Walls. Seth counters that with a small package for two, followed by the frog splash. Cue Owens for a distraction, just as Jericho grabs a small package. The Pedigree is countered again but Jericho stops to yell at Owens, allowing Seth to get in the jumping knee. Rollins gets the Pedigree for the pin at 17:12.

Rating: B+. I really liked this one as Jericho’s roll continues. You can almost pencil in Jericho vs. Owens for the Rumble and that story is going to write itself very well. Rollins getting the pin makes sense and maybe we can FINALLY do the blowoff between him and HHH so Rollins can move on with his career.

Pre-show recap. Cass vs. Rusev II is set for tomorrow night.

Cruiserweight Title: Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins vs. Rich Swann

Swann is defending and Austin Aries is sitting in on commentary. One heck of a forearm puts Kendrick on the floor, leaving Perkins to take the champ down. Swann hurricanranas both guys down at the same time (Aries: “I’ve done it before.”) but gets caught in the Captain’s Hook.

Perkins makes the save with the kneebar but Swann makes a save of his own. Cole: “Who is the favorite now?” Aries: “I would be if I was in there.” Kendrick gets tossed and Perkins slaps on another kneebar, sending Swann to the ropes. That’s not a break in a triple threat but Perkins lets go anyway. Back up and Swann kicks Perkins in the head to retain at 5:59.

Rating: D+. Can we please, please, PLEASE get Aries anything he wants? He was by far and away the most interesting thing about this match as he just commands respect and I completely buy him as the greatest cruiserweight of all time. I mean, I know he’s not but he gives you the belief that he is and that’s what matters.

Post match Neville makes his return to celebrate with Swann before turning heel (!) and destroying all three. Fans: “THANK YOU NEVILLE!” I can totally go for this, though the idea that Neville weighs under 205lbs is downright laughable.

Owens goes to Jericho’s locker room but Chris won’t let him in. Kevin tells him to put his name on the list but Jericho still doesn’t open the door. That hurts Owens’ feelings and he walks away.

Recap of Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte. They’ve traded the title for months and this is the final match.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks

Banks is defending and this is a thirty minute iron man match, though JoJo says the winner is the woman with the most pinfalls. I’m going to assume that’s an error because nothing like that was ever mentioned before. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat for the first two minutes. Banks headlocks her down and things stay slow to start. Some chops have Charlotte in more trouble but it’s too early for the Banks Statement.

Another attempt fails just as much so Banks opts for a dropkick instead. Banks: “Your daddy loves me more!” Sasha wraps her up in something like a rear naked choke but Charlotte drops her back onto the mat for two. Charlotte heads outside and takes the double knees as we hit eight minutes in. A cross arm choke has Charlotte in more trouble but she doesn’t tap out as we get to ten minutes.

Sasha throws her outside for a suicide crossbody, only to be tripped face first into the steps in a bad looking crash. We’re twelve minutes in now as the referee slows things down a bit to check on Sasha. Three straight knees get two on the champ but another one misses to give Sasha a breather. Charlotte does the figure four headscissors and we’re at the halfway mark.

Something like a neckbreaker onto the knee gets two on Sasha and Charlotte seems to be getting frustrated. Natural Selection connects for two but Banks can’t get the Bank Statement. Instead Charlotte is put on top, only to come back with a super Natural Selection for the first fall with 10:45 to go.

Charlotte talks a lot of trash but can’t get another fall as we hit nine minutes left. Banks goes to the air and spins into a rollup for the tie with 8:43 to go. That means Charlotte needs to get aggressive, only to have Sasha grab the Bank Statement for the tap out with six minutes left. Charlotte gets smart by draping the knee over the middle rope and crashing down onto it as the clock keeps ticking.

Some cannonballs down onto the knee set up a leglock as we’ve got three minutes left. A not great Figure Four goes on with two minutes left and Sasha is in big trouble. The hold is turned over a few times until Sasha gets caught in the middle of the ring. We’re down to thirty seconds left and Banks screams a lot. Charlotte FINALLY turns it into the Figure Eight and Banks taps with two seconds left, meaning it’s a draw at 30:00.

This is the END OF THE LINE though so let’s do sudden death. Charlotte gets in a shot at the bad leg before the bell rings and a small package gets two for the champ seconds into the extra period. The Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte grabs the bad leg to break the hold. It’s turned into a Figure Four and Sasha (with a bloody mouth) taps to the Figure Eight at 2:58 of overtime.

Rating: B. Well that happened. I’m completely out of things to talk about with these two trading the title because WWE has no concept of how to wrap up a feud in an appropriate manner. Charlotte winning is fine, though the question now is who challenges her next. I know the obvious answer is Bayley, but do you trust them to do something that logical?

We recap Owens vs. Reigns. Roman beat him a few weeks ago to earn another shot here tonight but the big story is about the drama between Jericho and Owens.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Owens is defending and I’ll only refer to him as champion for the sake of simplicity. Kevin quickly bails to the floor but gets punched in the mouth for his efforts. Something like a spinebuster gets two for Reigns but the threat of a jumping clothesline sends Owens outside. The champ takes over on the floor and hits the backsplash off the steps, followed by the chinlock back inside.

Owens wants to know why Reigns didn’t put his title on the line but suspects it’s a lack of testicular fortitude. A standing flip legdrop of all things gets two on Roman and it’s back to the chinlock. Reigns finally powers out and drives Owens into the corner, only to have the champ throw him down with a German suplex. The Superman Punch is countered into a DDT for two more.

Reigns no sells the Cannonball and hits the Superman Punch for two of his own and both guys are down. Owens goes up top and gets Superman Punched again but still manages to grab the swinging superplex. A Swanton Bomb hits Roman’s raised knees and it’s spear time. It might be the big scream before the spear but somehow Owens knows to bail to the floor. Reigns gets suckered in and a splash off the apron onto the announcers’ table doesn’t break the table.

The second attempt works though and Reigns’ ribs are hurt again. Reigns dives in at nine so Owens bolts to the top for another frog splash and the accompanying near fall. Roman’s sitout powerbomb and Owens’ Pop Up Powerbomb get two each and the champ doesn’t know what to do. He goes outside for the title belt, earning himself a spear as he comes back inside. Cue Jericho, who looks back and forth at both guy. A Codebreaker to Owens draws the DQ at 23:33.

Rating: B. Good, though the waiting for Jericho took a little away from it. Unfortunately this shows the problem with Reigns being US Champion coming into this match: what good does it do to tie the title up in this match with no challenger for the title in sight? Yeah Owens vs. Jericho will be fine but sweet goodness enough with the champion vs. champion nonsense.

Jericho raises Owens’ hand because IT WAS A SWERVE to end the show. Uh, couldn’t he just tap Reigns and get the same result? Rollins comes out and helps with the beatdown, including a DoubleBomb to put Jericho through the table. Owens goes through the announcers’ table to end the show to almost no reaction.

Overall Rating: B+. I liked this a lot more than I thought I would but it’s a great example of a show I’m never going to watch again. Other than Charlotte getting the title back like we’ve seen before, nothing was really interesting here, though I can always go for a night of good wrestling. That being said, they really, REALLY need something fresh in the main event scene on Raw because “oh wait they’re still best friends who get beaten up by the Shield guys” was tired a month ago.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I’ve always been a big Survivor Series fan and there is something great about seeing a milestone show with the 20^th edition. On top of that, we have three elimination tag matches for a change and the card looks pretty awesome. Then again that has been the case with several shows before and you never know if it is going to live up to the hype. The big non-elimination match is Batista vs. King Booker for Book’s Smackdown World Title so let’s get to it.

The opening video briefly talks about the anniversary before moving on to a traditional hype video looking at the big matches.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Dusty Rhodes, Ron Simmons

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Mikey, Nicky

Arn Anderson and Mitch are at ringside. The Squad has been insulting Flair and the rest of the legends so it’s time to go to school. Simmons is replacing the injured Roddy Piper and scares Mikey down to start. A powerslam drops Mikey again and it’s a bunch of clotheslines to take the rest of the Squad down. Mitch offers a distraction though and Simmons goes out after him.

The stalking and watching Anderson beat up Mitch take a bit too long though and Simmons gets counted out. Simmons takes Mitch to the back with him and Anderson is ejected (with the fans NOT approving). That means Nicky gets to come in and request a salute from Slaughter, who works on his arm instead. It’s off to Flair for some shots of his own before handing it back to Slaughter for the cobra clutch. Kenny gets in a kick to the back of Slaughter’s head though and the mostly out Nicky gets the pin.

Dusty comes in for the Bionic Elbow to get rid of Nicky and it’s 3-2. Some jabs get Dusty out of the corner but a rollup is enough to finish him off. That leaves Flair alone against Kenny/Mikey/Johnny but Flair grabs a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin. A small package gets rid of Kenny, meaning Flair can chop Johnny and put him in the Figure Four for the fast tap. Flair beat the last three of them in about two minutes.

Rating: D. The wrestling wasn’t the point here of course and it isn’t like the Squad means anything in the first place. Flair can beat all of these guys without breaking a sweat and he came pretty close here. The team almost has to be done now and that is going to be better for Raw at this point. The idea wasn’t going to work no matter what they did so to get as much as they did out of them is impressive enough. Pretty bad in-ring stuff, and that was never the point.

Post match the big beatdown is on with no one coming out for the save.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero for Benoit’s US Title. Benoit thinks that Chavo and Vickie Guerrero are taking advantage of Eddie Guerrero’s estate but they told him to stay out of their business (a fair point). Chavo beat Benoit up and tonight he can win the title.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo, with Vickie, is challenging. Benoit starts very fast with a slam into a backbreaker for two, followed by easily winning a strike off. A snap suplex and slam get two each on Chavo as JBL says Chavo made Rey quit like a little girl. I’m almost scared to imagine when/how JBL made a little girl say she quit. Chavo comes back with a series of strikes and sends Benoit hard into the post.

There’s a Saito suplex for two and the armbar goes on. Benoit gets creative with a Samoan drop to escape but Chavo dropkicks him right back down. A suplex sets up the frog splash for two but Chavo stops to yell some more. Benoit fights up again and knocks Chavo away for a needed breather so Vickie gets on the apron. After dealing the pesky manager, it’s the Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: C. That is pretty much it for Chavo being seen as anything serious as he loses the big showdown after Benoit kicks out of his finisher. What other reason is there to buy into him at this point? Chavo was not exactly a can’t miss prospect here anyway and it’s ok for him to not win, but this should wrap it up on him being seen as a serious villain, at least for the time being.

Lita, with Edge, affirms that she is still retiring after her title match against Mickie James no matter what. Edge makes fun of Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb while Cryme Tyme sneaks in and steals a box. Edge rants about DX as Cryme Tyme sneaks out of the room.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and gets driven into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs to start. Some kicks to the ribs slow Mickie down and Lita counters a headscissors out of the corner by slamming Mickie down on her face (the simple ones always work). The fans deem Lita a “crack w****” as she gets some near falls. With the chant down, Lawler is right there with more jokes about Lita as the bodyscissors has Mickie in trouble.

Lita misses a splash of all things, sending Lawler into the joy of hope over a wardrobe malfunction. Mickie kicks her in the face for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into another faceplant. The Litacanrana gets two but the DDT is countered with a grab of the rope. They trade rollups for two each until Mickie hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. The match was about what you would expect from a big Raw showdown but what matters is passing the torch (which Mickie has held before). The bad thing here was the amount of jokes at Lita’s expense, as commentary laid it in even thicker than usual. I know she’s leaving, but WWE can be rather cruel with these things at times, which was the case here.

Post match Lita insists on being called the greatest of all time but has to rant at the fans for disrespecting her so much. Cue Cryme Tyme with the box, sending Lita further over the edge. It’s time for a “ho sale” but it’s cash only. First item up is some yeast infection medicine, followed by some underwear (which JBL wants to smell before buying). Something that vibrates goes for $25 and finally, Lita’s box (it’s cheap and wide) is a hot item to wrap it up. Kind of a cruel way to go, but at least it saves them the cost of a trash bag (April 2021 reference for those of you reading this in 3847).

Earlier today, Batista wouldn’t answer any of Michel Cole’s questions. After a clip of the beatdown on Smackdown, Batista says he’s leaving as champion.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

DX: HHH/Shawn Michaels/Matt Hardy/CM Punk/Jeff Hardy

Rated-RKO: Edge/Randy Orton/Gregory Helms/Mike Knox/Johnny Nitro

The fans are way into Punk so HHH lets him ask if they are ready. The bell rings and HHH has Kelly Kelly get on the apron for a better view (while covering Shawn’s eyes of course). The distraction lets Shawn hit the superkick for a fast pin and elimination. Shawn chops away at Nitro and hands it off to Jeff to knock him down as well. Helms comes in to take Matt down and it’s Edge coming in as well to stomp away.

The villains start taking turns on Matt, who has to cover up from Nitro’s right hands to the head. Matt kicks him away and brings Punk in, much to the fans’ delight. Matt’s neck snap across the top sets up a Rock Bottom into the Anaconda Vice to eliminate Nitro. Orton dropkicks Punk down and Helms takes over with a front facelock to keep him on the mat for a bit.

The yet to be named Codebreaker connects for Helms and the RKO gets two with HHH making a save. It’s back to HHH for the jumping knees to the face as everything breaks down. Jeff and Shawn hit some dives onto the floor, leaving HHH to bust Helms’ spine. The Twist of Fate into the spinebuster gets rid of Helms and it’s Rated-RKO against all five members of the other team. Rated-RKO try to leave but get thrown back inside for Poetry in Motion into Sweet Chin Music to get rid of Edge. Another superkick into the Pedigree finishes Orton for the win.

Rating: D+. How weird is it to see a squash in a Survivor Series elimination match? Granted the talent on one side was completely nuts but my goodness man. This was completely one sided and I’m not sure how wise that was. Rated-RKO were decimated here, Helms’ title somehow lost even more value and Nitro was just a guy. It was fun, but I’m not sure if this was the smartest move.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is the latest young guy to go after Undertaker and say he is the new big star. This time Kennedy even managed to bust Undertaker open with his microphone so tonight it’s a First Blood match, which seems like a nice way out of having someone take a fall.

Mr. Kennedy is ready for his match but MVP gives him a pep talk anyway.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

First Blood. Kennedy hammers away to start and gets knocked over the top for his efforts. Undertaker sends him face first into the announcers’ table and then throws Kennedy over it for a bonus. Some headbutts have Kennedy in pain and there’s a big boot to to drop him again. Kennedy is back up with a whip into the steps but gets posted to cut that off in a hurry. Back in and Undertaker hits a top rope superplex but Kennedy is back with a low blow.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind and kicks away at the ribs before hammering away in the corner. Another low blow slows Undertaker down but Kennedy’s nose is busted. Cue MVP to towel Kennedy’s blood off….and throw Kennedy back inside as payback for Kennedy doing the same thing on Smackdown. Kennedy hammers away but here is MVP with a chair, which hits Undertaker by mistake (in theory) to bust him open. The referee finally sees it to give Kennedy the win.

Rating: C. The ending sets up a few more things, including MVP’s complete and utter destruction. Much like MVP winning the cage match against Kane on Smackdown, this is the kind of win that helps make Kennedy look that much more important. Of course it would be better to have Undertaker get pinned, but that isn’t something that happens very often so take what you can get here. Granted that’s Undertaker beating Kennedy up for most of the match and then getting cheated at the end, though I doubt Kennedy would mind.

Post match Kennedy brags about the win and talks a lot of trash, allowing Undertaker to wrap a chair around Kennedy’s head. Kennedy is busted open and Undertaker gives him a nasty Tombstone. The gloves come off and some bare knuckle punches have the bloody Kennedy bleeding even more. The referee drags him off.

Queen Sharmell gives King Booker a pep talk so Booker can monologue about how this is it for Batista.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Cena: John Cena, Bobby Lashley, Rob Van Dam, Kane, Sabu

Big Show: Big Show, Finlay, MVP, Test, Umaga

Cena avoids Umaga’s charge to start and sends him outside. Everything breaks down and Umaga hits Cena in the ribs with a TV monitor for the fact DQ. We settle down to Test elbowing Van Dam in the corner and planting him down so MVP can come in with the chinlock. Van Dam, with his nose bleeding, fights up and scores with the spinning kick to the face.

More kicks put all of the villains down and it’s Kane kicking MVP in the face. The Five Star gets rid of MVP but Test is right there with the big boot to eliminate Van Dam. Test sends Sabu outside but Lashley nails a spear, allowing Sabu to hit a tornado DDT for the pin. Show comes straight in to chokeslam Sabu for the pin as these eliminations are flying by. The Leprechaun comes out to give Finlay the Shillelagh and a shot to the head rocks Kane, setting up a chokeslam so Big Show can get rid of him too.

So it’s Cena/Lashley vs. Show/Finlay with Show powerslamming Cena in a hurry. Finlay comes in to stomp away but Cena gets in a knockdown of his own. That’s enough to bring in Lashley and everything breaks down again. A double clothesline drops Show but here’s the Leprechaun, who is thrown onto Cena. The distraction lets Lashley spear Finlay down for the pin and we’re down to 201. Cena manages to DDT Show and there’s a double suplex to put him down again. The finishing sequence is initiated and the FU finishes Show.

Rating: D+. his match, which featured eight eliminations, is now the longest match of the night at about twelve and a half minutes. I’m not sure why we need to go that short with everything but it has been a problem with almost everything on the show. Cena and Lashley teaming up to take out Show worked, but was there really any need for five eliminations in less than two minutes?

We recap Batista vs. King Booker for the Smackdown World Title. Batista had to vacate the title earlier this year due to an injury in this very building. It is his missing to get it back but Booker isn’t going it up so easily. If Batista loses, he can never challenge Booker for the title again.

Smackdown World Title: King Booker vs. Batista

Batista is challenging and starts fast by jumping him before the bell. They get inside to officially start the match with Batista hammering away in the corner. The threat of a Batista Bomb sends Booker bailing to the floor and the fans aren’t pleased. Back in and Batista hammers away even more but a hot shot gets Booker out of trouble. A catapult sends Batista throat first into the bottom rope and Booker stomps away even more.

Booker pokes him in the eye but you don’t need two eyes to hit a side slam for two. They head to the apron for a slugout with Batista knocking him back in. Sharmell grabs the leg though and Booker kicks him out to the floor again. Back in and Booker pounds him down into a chinlock as Cole asks JBL what it feels like to try and get the title back. JBL: “I’m not a loser Michael. Bring up something else.”

Batista fights up and hits the clotheslines into a big boot to send Booker outside. That means a whip into the steps, followed by a top rope shoulder (dang) for two back inside. Booker is right back with a Bookend for two but Batista is up with the Batista Bomb. They’re right next to the rope so Booker saves himself, allowing Sharmell to hand him the title. A Sharmell distraction doesn’t work though as Batista ducks the shot and takes the belt away. Batista’s belt shot is enough for the pin, the title, and the energized celebration.

Rating: D, This really didn’t work and the ending was stupid. How much of a conqueror does this make Batista, when he needed a belt shot to beat Booker? It’s a reclaiming the glory story and that should work, but the lack of drama didn’t help anything. Pretty awful main event with the main bright spot being the fact that they didn’t go long here. It’s the longest match of the show at less than fourteen minutes and it felt every one of them.

Batista celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. For a show that looked pretty fun on paper, this wound up being a nearly complete miss with nothing worth seeing, a bunch of matches that felt rushed, and a World Title change in the end that was about as lame as possible. These Survivor Series matches are supposed to be about hanging in there over a grueling match, but Finlay and Benoit had a match on Smackdown that was longer than anything here. It wasn’t the worst show, but someone needs to teach them how to Survivor Series.

 

 

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