Wrestlemania XXII
Date: April 2, 2006
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 17,159
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
America The Beautiful: Michelle Williams

It’s time to go back to an arena, which is quite the change of pace after doing these things in stadiums for so long. Things are in a bit of a weird place for the company as John Cena is still establishing himself as the guy and is defending against HHH. The other story is Eddie Guerrero coming back to life, putting on a mask and trying to win the Smackdown World Title under the name of Rey Mysterio. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Eugene, Viscera, Snitsky, Goldust, Lance Cade, Rob Conway, Tyson Tomko, Trevor Murdoch, Matt Striker, Super Crazy, Funaki, Steven Richards, Simon Dean, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Psicosis, Animal, William Regal

Here’s the “get everyone on the show match” and they’re in Raw/Smackdown shirts because it’s an interpromotional battle royal, despite it being every man for themselves. Dean tries to run his mouth before the match and is immediately tossed out. Conway shows disloyalty by taking off his Raw shirt and is quickly tossed out. Funaki is out as the ring is starting to clear out a bit. Cade gets eliminated and Richards follows him out, with Crazy, Goldust and Regal all being tossed as well.

MNM gives Eugene a Snapshot and gets rid of him before the remaining stars draw a big line and go show vs. show. Psicosis and Murdoch are both out and we’re down to six. Viscera crushes Morrison and Nitro in the corner while Tomko and Snitsky beat up Animal in another corner.

The big splash misses for Viscera but he’s fine enough to hit a DDT on Mercury. We get a double Visagra (Tazz: “Not the Brokeback spot!” Cole: “Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!”) and Nitro and Mercury are both out. Snitsky gets rid of Tomko and we’re down to three. Viscera dumps Animal (that’s a choice) and then fires Snitsky out for the win at 9:04.

Rating: C-. I’m not sure why you wouldn’t have Animal win this as it means nothing and could have given the fans a nice moment to start the show off. Viscera winning is fine, but that’s the whole point of the whole match: anyone would have been fine, but Animal winning would have made the fans happy. There’s nothing wrong with having a bunch of midcarders thrown into a match like this, but the result felt like they missed the layup.

Post match Viscera gyrates at Lilian Garcia and kisses her (they used to be a thing), leaving her looking rather annoyed.

Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child sings America The Beautiful.

The opening video, set to Shinedown’s I Dare You, looks at various Wrestlemania moments over the years. This includes looking at various stars from back in the day and what they are doing now for a nice touch. Then we get into the traditional looks at the bigger matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Big Show/Kane

Show and Kane are defending, with Kane’s entrance seeing the buildings in the set lighting on fire for a really cool touch. Masters knocks Kane down to start but walks into a dropkick for his efforts. Show comes in for the overly loud chops but Masters rakes his eyes, allowing the tag off to a reluctant Carlito. The fans are pleased to see Carlito, who is crotched on the top rope in quite the landing. With Masters knocked to the floor, Show throws Carlito onto him for the big crash.

Not to be outdone, Kane hits the top rope clothesline onto both of them. Back in and Carlito dropkicks Show’s knee out, sending Show into an exposed buckle. A flapjack gets two on Show but he suplexes both of them and brings Kane back in to clean house. The top rope clothesline is countered into the Masterlock but Show breaks it up rather quickly. Carlito’s Backstabber hits Kane but Masters accidentally knocks Carlito silly. Kane kicks Masters in the face and chokeslams Carlito to retain at 6:42.

Rating: C. I’m not sure why this needed to be on the Wrestlemania card as it was a decent Raw match at best. Kane and Big Show were absolute monsters and it was hard to fathom that they would be in any real danger of losing the titles. Carlito and Masters weren’t exactly top level challengers either, but they would be featured in the midcard for a good while. Kane and Show would lose the titles to the Spirit Squad the next night on Raw.

Post match Carlito and Masters get in an argument and Carlito leaves on his own. Both teams would face off in singles match the next month at Backlash.

Shawn Michaels is ready to end Vince McMahon. He has a history of stealing the show at Wrestlemania but don’t expect a five star match from him tonight. Instead, expect violence and a different kind of Michaels. McMahon better be praying to the God above because Shawn is taking him to h***.

Matt Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Finlay vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Ric Flair

Money In The Bank. Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with Hardy grabbing the first ladder. As usual, said ladder is kicked into him, in this case by Van Dam, who hits a slingshot dive onto the ladder onto Hardy as well. Not to be outdone, Benjamin hits a big step up flip dive off the ladder onto a pile at ringside. Flair goes up the ladder but Hardy suplexes him down for the big crash and all that screaming.

That’s enough for the referee to throw up an X and Flair is helped to the back. With five left for the moment, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Benjamin onto the ladder, leaving both of them down. Lashley goes up but gets cut down as the fans are behind Van Dam. Finlay throws a ladder at Hardy to cut him off and loads up said ladder, only to have Flair come back and take him down.

Flair goes up but gets shillelaghed back down, leaving Lashley to Dominator Benjamin. Lashley tries the climb but gets dropkicked down by Van Dam, who drives a chair into his back for the save. Instead of climbing, Hardy drops a leg off the ladder onto Lashley before Side Effecting Finlay off the ladder.

Since Finlay is already having a bad day, Van Dam climbs the ladder for a splash onto Finlay for the big crash. Van Dam goes up but Benjamin springboards onto the ladder (geez) for a slugout. Hardy climbs another ladder so Benjamin steps over to join them, only for Van Dam to kick said ladder over. That’s enough for Van Dam to get the briefcase at 12:15.

Rating: B-. I wasn’t feeling this one nearly as much as some of the ladder matches, as this was pretty quick without much in the way of memorable stuff. Flair was pulled out and was then back in about two minutes, meaning there was only so much drama. No one really stood out here, save for Benjamin’s springboard onto the ladder. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t stand out or pull me in, as they hadn’t really started going nuts with this thing yet.

New Hall Of Famer Gene Okerlund is glad to keep celebrating but Randy Orton comes in to say he’s winning the Smackdown World Title tonight. The injured Batista comes in to say he’s waiting on the winner. He’ll be World Champion by Wrestlemania XXIII. True actually.

We get the Hall Of Fame Class Of 2006 (minus Bret Hart, who was uncomfortable being here):

Gene Okerlund (not much of a reaction actually)
Sensational Sherri (VERY happy to be here)
Tony Atlas (thankfully minus foot jokes)
Verne Gagne (I’d think he’s worthy)
William Refrigerator Perry (dude, get a suit)
The Blackjacks (with some snappy hats)
Eddie Guerrero (there’s your big pop)

A bunch of the other inductees come over to hug Vickie Guerrero in a nice moment.

United States Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

JBL, with Jillian Hall, is challenging and the stage rises up so his limo can come in. Benoit slugs away to start so JBL cuts him off with a headlock. The Crossface attempt doesn’t work, even with Benoit firing off a bunch of headbutts. Back up and some chops drop JBL again but the Sharpshooter doesn’t work either. Instead JBL rolls outside and hides behind Hall, which is enough for JBL to take over back inside.

Benoit avoids a charge in the corner though and the rolling German suplexes have JBL down again. The Swan Dive is broken up and JBL mocks the Eddie Guerrero dance, as you might have expected. A superplex brings Benoit back down for the big crash and a rather delayed cover gets two. JBL gets in Two Amigos before booting Benoit in the face, setting up the chinlock. Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and hits his own Three Amigos. Now the Swan Dive can connect and the Crossface goes on, only for JBL to stack him up and grab the ropes for the pin and the title at 9:46.

Rating: B-. They were going with the idea of the power vs. the technical stuff here, though JBL was trying to get technical as well to surprise Benoit. That worked out well enough, though it was far from some instant classic. JBL needed a win like this after losing for so many months after dropping the title to Cena last year.

We recap Edge vs. Mick Foley. Edge was annoyed over losing the WWE Title so quickly and got a rematch, only for Foley, as the guest referee, to cost him the title. The beating and challenge were on, with Edge taunting Foley for not having the defining Wrestlemania moment (because headlining the show just doesn’t count). Foley was up for a hardcore match and Edge accepted, albeit with a Conchairto, in an attempt to draw out the old Foley, which is never a good idea.

Joey Styles joins commentary in JR’s face because he knows hardcore. Eh fair enough.

Mick Foley vs. Edge

Lita is here with Edge and anything goes, with falls counting anywhere. Foley comes to the ring with his (gray for some reason) flannel shirt buttoned up, which just seems rather ominous. Edge wastes no time in swinging a baseball bat at but Foley knocks it away and hits a faceplant. The Tree Of Woe elbow hits Edge but he’s right back up with a boot to the face. Lita starts throwing in the weapons, with a cookie sheet to the head rocking Foley again.

The spear hits Foley….but Edge is hurt. Foley gets up and opens his shirt to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his stomach (and the signature red flannel shirt), which makes the first few minutes all the more insane. Edge’s arm is cut open as Foley cuts the wire off and whips Edge’s back. Edge gets tied in the ropes and nothing good can come from this. Foley busts out the barbed wire baseball bat but Lita makes the save by jumping on his back.

That’s fine with Foley, who hits a Cactus Clothesline to take all of them to the floor. The running knee is countered with a toss into the steps though, followed by a more standard whip into said steps. It’s table time (of course), with Lawler saying you never know what’s underneath a WWE ring. Eh you kind of do, as it’s the same in almost every match. One heck of a head slam onto the ramp gives Edge two and they go back inside, where Edge covers Foley with lighter fluid (oh dear). Lawler: “What is Edge going to do here? Like Mick Foley on fire?” Styles: “YOU THINK???”

Foley gets in a quick piledriver to avoid the whole burning alive thing but Lita cuts off the Conchairto. Edge gets in a shot of his own but the near fall just makes him madder. Some barbed wire bat shots have Foley down, including one to the face to bust him open (you knew that was coming). A bulldog onto the bat gets two so now it’s time for thumbtacks. Naturally Edge gets dropped onto said tacks and it’s time for Mr. Socko, complete with some bonus barbed wire.

Lita gets the Mandible Claw as well and her mouth is busted for a great visual. The barbed wire bat hits Edge (who still has tacks in his back). A bat to the face busts Edge open and Lawler thinks it can’t get much worse. Then Foley gets the lighter fluid and Lawler is proven wrong. The table at ringside is covered in the fluid but Lita gets in a bat shot to Foley. The table is lit on fire and Edge spears Foley through the ropes and through the table for the pin at 14:38.

Rating: A. This is pretty much the only thing that is remembered from this show and that shouldn’t be a huge surprise. This was two people absolutely destroying each other, with Foley turning back the clock for another instant classic to boost someone else up the ranks. It was in the same vein as the 2000 Royal Rumble and Backlash 2004, which is some of the best work of Foley’s career. Excellent stuff here as it felt like a war, with Edge being taken to another level.

Edge and Lita leave, with Edge looking like he’s in shock. Foley gets a standing ovation on the way out, which is well deserved. Of note: Foley’s wife called him after the match…to check on Edge. Of course.

Sharmell begs Booker T. to not make her face the Boogeyman and asks why freaks follow Booker around. They then run into Paul Burchill, Ted DiBiase, Eugene, Snitsky, Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young (getting her feet kissed) and Goldust, naturally dressed as Oprah. Goldust says Booker needs to accept his inner freak to beat the Boogeyman and suggests where Booker put the worms. Booker panics and leaves.

Some fans won a sweepstakes from Snickers for good seats.

Celebrities are here.

Booker T./Sharmell vs. Boogeyman

Booker has the terrified Sharmell start in a funny bit. Thankfully Booker does jump Boogeyman from behind and hammers away in the corner. A kick to the face gives Booker two as the red smoke is making the arena look horrible. The Bookend gets two but Booker misses the ax kick and gets forearmed down (they didn’t seem to be on the same page there). The worms come out and Boogeyman has a snack so Sharmell comes in with Boogeyman’s staff. That earns her a wormy kiss so Sharmell runs off screaming, leaving Boogeyman to chokebomb Booker for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D-. What do you want me to say here? This was a bad comedy match and nothing more than a way to give the fans a breather after the crazy hardcore match. Booker was injured coming in, but if this is the best they can do, just scrap the match.  Boogeyman is the kind of character who is there for little more than goofiness and having him beat Booker is a step too far. Nothing to this one, save for ruining the mat.

Post match, more worms are consumed.

We recap Mickie James challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. James debuted and was completely obsessed with Stratus, even kissing her under the mistletoe at Christmas. Stratus said it was too much and asked for time apart, which made James even more nuts, to the point where she kicked Stratus in the head and asked if Stratus loved her now. Then she kidnapped Stratus’ boyfriend and laid Stratus out at the same time. This was a heck of a story as the women’s division was dying for some fresh blood and James was all that and more.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and Lawler thinks she’s nuts. JR: “You’d date her. But wait she might be too old for you. She’s in her early 20s.” Lawler: “Can she cook?” They waste no time in trading the forearms before Stratus Thesz presses her down and hammers away. The big chops in the corner have James down and Stratus drops her down into the splits. They head outside and the Chick Kick only hits the post to give James a needed opening.

The bad leg is wrapped around the post and James is rather pleased. A dropkick to the leg keeps Stratus down as the fans are behind James, which has commentary confused. The half crab stays on the leg but James pulls the hair, which is enough to make her break it up (you don’t see that one too often). Stratus slugs away (the fans don’t approve) and hits a spinebuster as JR tries to explain that Stratus hasn’t done anything to deserve the booing.

James gets a boot up in the corner but has to block the Stratusphere, allowing her to send Stratus crashing down. A half crab is countered into a small package to give Stratus two and a powerbomb out of the corner gets the same. The Matrish only kind of works due to the leg so Stratus loads up Stratusfaction, which is broken up with a hand between the legs (James licking her hand is edited out). James kicks her in the head (the botched Stratusfaction to Stratus is edited out as well) and wins the title at 8:49. JR: “The nutjob has won the title!”

Rating: B. The bad botch and probably going too far lick of the hand being cut out didn’t hurt things, as this was still miles ahead of just about anything you would see in the women’s division. It wasn’t so much that the match was great, but rather that it was a match that came with a story rather than just random title defenses. James was such a breath of fresh air for the division and it’s no surprise that she was a star for so long.

The McMahons are way too pleased with Vince McMahon’s arms. Vince laughs at the idea of Shawn Michaels telling him to pray, but says it’s time for their first family prayer. Vince makes it clear that he and God don’t like each other because Vince has defied every law God has ever had. He’s been successful anyway and brags about his physique (Stephanie gives him a look) before promising to send Michaels down to the fiery depths.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry cost Undertaker the World Title and injured him, meaning it’s time for revenge.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

It’s a casket match and Henry is Undertaker’s latest monster foe who isn’t afraid of the dark. Cole goes over the Undertaker’s Wrestlemania victims and it’s kind of amazing to think of how many more big names he would take out over the years. Henry jumps him at the end of the entrance (to be fair, Undertaker was taking his sweet time) but Undertaker gets a boot up in the corner.

Some running clotheslines don’t put Henry down but he drops Undertaker with a single shot. They go outside, where Undertaker sends him into the steps for a breather. Henry rams him in even harder though and they head back inside, where Old School is broken up. The casket is opened up but Undertaker isn’t about to go in (good advice). Back up and Undertaker kicks away at the arm, setting up Old School.

A Downward Spiral is blocked though and they fight down into the casket. Henry hammers him down but Undertaker grabs him by the throat to get up. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam connects but the powers of I’m Facing The Undertaker stupidity take over, with Henry going up to hammer away. The Last Ride brings Henry back down and Undertaker throws him outside for the big dive. Back in and the Tombstone connects, which is enough to finish Henry off at 9:27.

Rating: C. It was an ok fight but Henry might as well have been dubbed “The Designated Victim” here as it never felt like Undertaker was in any danger. They had to do something with Undertaker but there was no drama here as Undertaker beating Henry was never in doubt. It’s not a terrible or even bad match, but this was definitely on the lower end of the Streak matches.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon. Late last year, McMahon decided it was all about him (for a change of pace) and fired a bunch of people. Then he brought up the Montreal Screwjob, which made Michaels tell McMahon to grow up already. Therefore, it was time to destroy Michaels for good, setting up a showdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

No holds barred. Michaels starts fast and jumps McMahon on the floor. McMahon is sent over the announcers’ table and onto JR, allowing Michaels to choke away. Michaels busts a framed photo of McMahon’s Muscle & Fitness magazine cover over McMahon’s head (you knew that was coming) so here is the Spirit Squad (you knew they were coming) to jump Michaels for a breather.

The big beatdown is on but Michaels fights back with their megaphone to clear them out without much trouble. That’s enough of a distraction for McMahon to hit a clothesline though and we slow back down. McMahon hits some shoulders to the ribs in the corner, followed by some whips with a belt. Delusions of grandeur make McMahon try his own superkick, which is easily blocked. Now Michaels gets to whip away with the belt and drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but here is Shane McMahon to hit Michaels with a kendo stick as this keeps going. The beating lets Vince take down his pants but Michaels fights back and shoves Shane’s face in, with Vince of course thinking it’s great. Shane is knocked to the floor and handcuffed to the ropes in a smart move. The key is thrown into the crowd and Michaels beats on Shane with the kendo stick.

Back in and Michaels caves Vince’s head in with a chair (there’s some blood) but Michaels won’t throw the superkick. Instead it’s time for a ladder, which bounces off of Vince’s head to draw even more blood. Michaels still won’t throw the superkick though as Vince collapses. Instead Michaels grabs a table and some trashcans. After putting the trashcan on Vince and Vince on the table, Michaels climbs the big ladder and drops a big elbow. Michaels picks him up, says watch this, and finally (and I do mean FINALLY) hits the superkick for the win at 18:24.

Rating: D+. This was WAY too long, with the match being pretty much over about halfway through the thing. So much of the match was spent with Vince mostly destroyed and Michaels just finding more weapons. They could have done this in far less time as it felt more like someone blowing off steam in a video game for most of the match.

Vince flips Michaels off because that is his nature.

We recap Kurt Angle defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. Mysterio won the Royal Rumble in Eddie Guerrero’s memory, last eliminating Orton. That didn’t sit well with Orton, who talked Mysterio into putting up his title shot, only for Mysterio to lose. Mysterio was kept in the match anyway, as this is all about Eddie’s memory. Oh yeah and Angle is there too. That’s how third wheel he felt here, and there wasn’t much that could be done to change it as this is all about Eddie/Rey. This gets Shinedown’s I Dare You, which helps a lot.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is defending and Mysterio gets played to the ring live by POD. Orton decks Angle with the belt before the bell before dropkicking Mysterio out of the air for two. Back in and Angle snaps off the German suplexes on Orton before suplexing both of them at once (with Mysterio FLYING).

Orton is back up with his backbreaker to Angle, who shrugs it off and hits a belly to belly. A pop up super hurricanrana brings Orton down for two and Mysterio kicks Angle in the head for the same. Mysterio sends Angle into the ropes but the 619 is cut off. The ankle lock goes on but Orton cuts off the referee, who doesn’t see Mysterio tap. With that broken up, Angle snaps off more suplexes and ankle locks Orton for a change. This time Mysterio grabs the referee so Orton’s tap is missed too. Well they’re certainly making Angle look strong, which makes sense as he’s in Wrestling Machine mode here.

Back up and Mysterio is sent into the post but Orton grabs the RKO on Angle for a delayed two. Orton goes up and is promptly belly to belly superplexed right back down in one of Angle’s better signature spots. Mysterio can’t quite hit a 619 around the post but settles for a kick to the head (eh fair enough) for two on Angle. Orton drops Mysterio again but gets Angle Slammed for two. Mysterio counters the Angle Slam with an armdrag and hits the 619 to Orton. The West Coast Pop pins Orton to make Mysterio champion at 9:18.

Rating: B-. It was mostly action packed, but I could have gone with a good bit more time to pack that action into here. Mysterio winning the title was a feel good moment, despite not being the biggest surprise, as the fans would have lost if it Eddie didn’t get his big tribute. It’s a good match, but dang they felt rushed out there and that’s not good to see. And then Mysterio would go on to have an all time disaster of a title reign, mainly because he was put in there against giant who kept crushing him, because reasons.

Post match Chavo and Vickie Guerrero come out to celebrate with Mysterio in a nice moment.

We look at John Cena and HHH in the locker room for a long time. Cena looks at the title while HHH gets a massage. JR gives a rather detailed explanation about how Cena is a rebel and this is a traditionalist town so HHH will likely get cheered no matter what.

Candice Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson

Playboy Pillow Fight, which is an excuse for the two of them to be in limited clothing. There is a bed and a bunch of pillows with the Playboy logo everywhere because that’s the whole point. Wilson brings her dog (he’s wearing a top hat) and they starts the brawl as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled. A suplex drops Michelle and a backdrop puts her onto the bed.

The dog is brought in as they fight out to the floor, only to come back in so Michelle can lose her gown. Michelle kicks her away and does the Go Daddy dance before dropping a middle rope elbow onto Wilson (on the bed). With nothing else working, Michelle grabs a pair of scissors to cut off Wilson’s dress. An issue of Playboy is rubbed into Wilson’s face, which inspires her to grab a rollup for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: F. Yeah what else were you expecting? This was about the women being out there and showing off how they looked. It wasn’t good and it went FAR longer than it needed to, with the fans letting them know what they thought. I get the appeal, but I’m also rather glad that we’ve moved WAY beyond this kind of stuff.

We look at the Wrestlemania press conference, which is pretty much the hype video for Cena vs. HHH. Cena is the rebel champion and HHH is the old school guy who wants the title back. This is the big dream match for Raw but it only feels so important.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. HHH

HHH is challenging and does the Conan the Barbarian entrance, rising up from the stage on his throne with the ridiculously big sledgehammer. Cena’s entrance on the other hand features a newsreel about the Great Depression and a bunch of machine gun toting goons hanging on an old gangster car, one of whom is infamously better known as CM Punk. Cena has his own gun and gets to fire, which at least drowns out some of the rather loud booing.

We get going, with JR immediately explaining that Cena is going to be booed no matter what. HHH wins an early wrestle off and grabs a hammerlock before kicking Cena away. An early FU attempt (the fans are NOT happy) is broken up and HHH punches him in the face, earning a standing ovation. Cena is sent outside but comes back in to hammer away in the corner for his first real offense. Some whips into the corner set up the release fisherman’s suplex and Cena grabs the chinlock. They go to the floor, where Cena backdrops him onto the ramp for a loud crash.

Back up and HHH sends Cena into the steps to take right back over. Cena fights back but a facebuster and hard clothesline get some of the loudest reactions HHH has ever received. Some neckbreakers give HHH some twos and the chinlock goes on to keep Cena down. Cena eventually fights up and hits that hard clothesline that he uses when he needs a big spot. The clothesline comeback sets up a powerslam and Cena initiates the finishing sequence.

That’s countered into a spinebuster to give HHH two but the sleeper is quickly broken up. The STFU goes on but HHH dives over to the ropes for the break. The FU is broken up as well and HHH hits Cena, and the referee, low in the corner. HHH brings in the sledgehammer and knocks Cena lukewarm for a pretty delayed two (the fans are ticked off again). Cena backdrops out of the Pedigree and gets two off the FU, leaving Cena stunned. Cena’s high crossbody misses but he pulls HHH into the STFU for two arm drops. HHH hangs on….and then taps out completely clean to retain the title at 22:02.

Rating: B. It took some time to get going but what matters the most is that Cena got a clean win over the other big name in the middle of the ring in the main event of Wrestlemania. That’s what HHH needed to do here and Cena gets one of the biggest boosts of his career. It also happens to be a very rather good title match and pretty worthy of the main event of Wrestlemania.

The big highlight package wraps up the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Yeah it’s fine. That’s always been the reaction to this show and that’s still the case here. There are definitely good parts, with the main event, most of the Women’s Title match and Edge vs. Foley being worth a look, but the problem is, outside of Edge vs. Foley, nothing is really memorable. It came and went with very little changing, as even Mysterio winning the title felt rushed. The show is absolutely not bad, but it’s forgettable, and that’s not what Wrestlemania is supposed to be.

Ratings Comparison

Pre-Show Battle Royal
Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Big Show/Kane vs. Carlito/Chris Masters

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Rob Van Dam vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2020 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Edge vs. Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2020 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Boogeyman vs. Booker T/Sharmell

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus

Original: B
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2020 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Shawn Michaels vs. Vince McMahon

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: D
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2020 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B-

Torrie Wilson vs. Candice Michelle

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F
2020 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: F

HHH vs. John Cena

Original: A-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C
2020 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2020 Redo: B-
2025 Redo: B-

As usual, it’s the same issues, with so much of this show just being forgettable.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXI
Date: April 3, 2005
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 20,193
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz
America The Beautiful: Lilian Garcia

Then it was time to change things. In this case, that’s going to be at the hands of Batista and John Cena, who are challenging for the World Titles. There isn’t exactly much of a secret that they’re getting the belts, but that has made for some great Wrestlemania moments before. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Tajiri, William Regal, Rhino, Hurricane, Rosey, Maven, Simon Dean, Gene Snitsky, Chris Masters, Val Venis, Tyson Tomko, Sylvain Grenier, Rob Conway, Viscera, Hardcore Holly, Charlie Haas, Nunzio, Billy Kidman, Mark Jindrak, Funaki, Akio, Orlando Jordan, Doug Basham, Danny Basham, Heidenreich, Luther Reigns, Booker T.. Paul London, Spike Dudley, Scotty 2 Hotty

Eh nothing wrong with getting everyone a DVD bonus credit. The Raw and Smackdown sides square off and Hurricane gives Heidenreich a mask…so Heidenreich punches him in the face as we officially start. Spike goes to the apron as there are so many people in the ring that they can’t move very much. Hurricane is out first (the fans disapprove) as Tazz talks about this being a team effort between Raw and Smackdown. I’m still not sure how but WWE would push that idea forever.

Reigns is gone too and Viscera gets knocked down, which doesn’t seem to be a great idea. Some people hold Viscera down so Scotty can hit the Worm, only for Masters to toss Scotty, Funaki and Spike in a row. Haas is out as well as the ring is at least clearing out a bit. Nunzio is on the floor but doesn’t seem to be out as things slow back down. Heidenreich (still in the mask) stops to eat a turnbuckle before clotheslining Venis out.

Dean is gone as well and Grenier follows him. There goes Rosey as Rhyno Gores Heidenreich from behind (OUCH). Rhyno is tossed out as well and Conway gets eliminated right after him to thin things out even more. The Raw and Smackdown guys square off, with Holly giving Regal an Alabama slam. Akio and Holly are tossed out and there goes Regal (who commentary doesn’t recognize). Tajiri mists Heidenreich, who can see well enough to kick London out.

Heidenreich is sent to the apron where he knocks out Tajiri before being kicked out by Snitsky. Jindrak gets rid of Snitsky as we’re down to Jindrak, Booker, Masters and Viscera. Masters dumps Jindrak and commentary tries to explain that Booker is down 2-1 because battle royals are suddenly team matches. Nunzio, who was never eliminated, comes back in and is tossed just as fast. Booker misses the side kick and gets caught in the ropes but manages to low bridge Viscera out. That leaves Booker with Masters and a superkick gives Booker the win at 11:19.

Rating: C. As usual, there’s only so much you can get out of this kind of a battle royal. It’s designed to get wrestlers on the card and it did that well enough. Booker winning is a fine way to get the crowd going and they weren’t out there very long. I could go for less of the Raw vs. Smackdown nonsense but that’s been a thing for years in WWE, even if it never really clicked.

Lilian Garcia sings America The Beautiful.

Since we’re in Los Angeles, we are officially going Hollywood and get a montage of the still incredible parody trailers, some of which are downright inspired.

We get the final trailer, featuring Steve Austin as Gladiator, which might be a stretch but getting Austin into something like this was a good move.

Commentary welcomes us to the show.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

They’re friends and partners (even champions) but it’s time for a friendly match. No superhero for Mysterio this time as instead it’s more of a Mexican flag theme. Mysterio starts fast with a suplex but gets armdragged into an early armbar. A big catapult sends Mysterio outside but Mysterio gets back inside to avoid a baseball slide and we have a standoff.

Back in and they go to a test of strength with Mysterio’s monkey flip not getting him anywhere. Guerrero goes to a keylock to stay on the arm but Mysterio manages to get in another monkey flip. Mysterio is sent crashing outside though and the arm is banged up, which has Guerrero in a better move (as he slips into the heel role, which fit him much better).

A hard belly to back suplex sets up a surfboard, followed by an STF. That’s a bit too complicated though so Guerrero switches back to the standard armbar. Mysterio is able to send him outside though and the big twisting dive drops Guerrero again. Back in and a backbreaker puts Mysterio right back down but he’s able to block the third Amigo. The 619 is blocked as well though and Mysterio snaps off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. More suplexes have Mysterio down but he avoids the frog splash.

They trade some rollups for two each but now Mysterio is up with the 619. After adjusting his mask (Mysterio was using a different kind of clasp here and it was driving him crazy throughout the match, with all kinds of noticeable adjustments), the West Coast Pop is countered into a powerbomb (and Mysterio adjusts the mask again). Mysterio is down but comes up with a quick hurricanrana for the pin out of nowhere at 12:23.

Rating: B-. They were in a bit of a weird spot here as they are still great friends and didn’t want to go full blast, but not going full blast at Wrestlemania doesn’t exactly fit. Guerrero was getting a bit frustrated in there and that’s a sign for the future, as these two were going to be doing this for the next few months. It’s still a good match, but it was a slow first step in a big story, which might not be the best fit for Wrestlemania.

Post match respect is shown and everything is ok.

JBL, with the Cabinet, runs into HHH, with Ric Flair. They compare greatness and JBL tells HHH to get ready to lose the title for the tenth time tonight. HHH says if JBL keeps telling people how good he is, someone will believe him eventually. They’ll see who is still champion at the end of the night. My goodness the idea of those two having a match makes my skin crawl.

Chris Jericho vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kane vs. Christian

And here’s something important as it’s the inaugural Money In The Bank. Benjamin is the Intercontinental Champion and Kane gets the still awesome entrance of the Hollywood set and the ladders being set on fire (even Kane seems to think it’s cool). The brawl starts in the aisle with Kane getting the better of things and going after the ladder. That’s broken up and Benoit and Benjamin suplex Kane on the floor.

Christian goes for the ladder but Jericho knocks him into the ring, which is the official start. Benjamin is in to hammer on Jericho, who knocks him right back down. A triangle dropkick hits Edge and Benoit, followed by a dive to take out the former. Christian is back in with a dive onto his three fellow Canadians. Benjamin is of course right there with an even bigger dive, followed by Kane’s dive onto everyone but Christian. Kane throws in the ladder but Jericho takes it away and gets to wreck various people.

Benoit German suplexes Jericho, sending the ladder flying in the process. Kane tries to chokeslam Benoit off the ladder but gets pulled into the Crossface. Edge breaks it up for no logical reason and gets Crossfaced as well, with Kane breaking that up as well. That’s not enough for Kane, who puts Benoit’s arm inside a ladder and crushes it a few times, only for Edge to drop Kane with a spear. Edge and Christian get back together for a bit, only for Benjamin to send Edge into a ladder in the corner.

A Stinger Splash crushed Edge against the ladder and Benjamin goes up, only for Jericho to cut him off. Christian sets up another ladder so Benoit climbs at the same time, with Edge setting up a third ladder next to them. Everyone but Kane is up until Christian pulls Benoit down with a DDT on the arm. Jericho is knocked down, leaving Benjamin to Exploder Edge down for the huge crash. Christian bridges a ladder into the standing one, with Jericho climbing up.

That lets Benjamin run up the bridge to clothesline Jericho off, sending him crashing out to the floor. Kane is back up though and it’s time to start wrecking people. Benjamin gets chokeslammed…well mostly onto the ropes as he crashes out to the floor. Christian’s lackey Tyson Tomko comes in to boot Kane but gets knocked over the top. Christian gets a hand on the briefcase but Kane shoves the ladder over, sending Christian down onto Tomko for a crazy crash (and thankfully not breaking Tomko’s leg in the process).

Kane and Jericho go up and knock each other off onto the ropes for another big spill. Benoit, with his arm dangling, goes up and Swan Dives onto Kane, which doesn’t seem so bright but that’s kind of par for the course for him. The bloody Benoit goes up but has to headbutt Kane down, only to get chaired in the arm by Edge. That’s enough for Edge to get the briefcase and win at 15:19.

Rating: B+. I still really like this one as the match hadn’t been bogged down by a bunch of cliches and having far too many people. Edge looked ruthless with the chair shot on the end and him stealing the briefcase (despite not breaking any rules) fit in perfectly. There are more than enough high spots and carnage here to make it work and it’s a rather fun bit of chaos.

Here is Eugene for a surprise appearance. He’s happy to be at Wrestlemania and talks about loving King Kong Bundy beating up a midget and the midget army getting together to go after him. This is the greatest moment of his life but here are Muhammad Hassan and Daivari to interrupt. Hassan is livid, which Eugene thinks means he doesn’t like midgets. That sends Hassan into a rant about how he isn’t on the biggest show of the year and how prejudiced Hollywood has been over the years.

He’s never lost but he has to take a backseat to EUGENE? He will not stand for this and is going to create a Wrestlemania Moment. Hassan jumps the injured Eugene and the double beatdown is on. The camel clutch is locked in….and it’s HULK HOGAN walking that aisle to an absolute roar. Hogan cleans house of the villains, including shrugging off a chair from Daivari. The ring is cleared and Hogan poses as the fans eat this all up. Yeah it still works.

We recap the Undertaker vs. Randy Orton. Over the last few weeks, Orton has tried to show more of an edge and wants to kill the biggest legend of them all. Undertaker doesn’t take kindly to this and wants to hurt someone, which can’t go well for Orton.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

It’s Wrestlemania so we’ve got druids (one of which might be Kofi Kingston, who implied it was him but it might have been from a segment on Smackdown). Orton circles around to start and hits a quick dropkick, followed by a backdrop. Undertaker isn’t having that and knocks him to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. Old School connects but Orton is back up with a dropkick to knock Undertaker off the apron and hard into the barricade. Back in and Orton tries to keep things slow but ducks his head, allowing Undertaker to hit the running DDT.

The corner clothesline hits Orton, who reverses Snake Eyes with an elbow to put Undertaker back down. The forearms to the chest just wake Undertaker up, which can never be a good thing. A clothesline puts Orton down (though he didn’t seem to be ready for it) for two and Undertaker grabs the dragon sleeper that he tried really hard to get over, to limited success. It’s only good for two arm drops here, as Orton reverses into a DDT for two. The chinlock (of course) goes on, which Orton switches into a sleeper, which Undertaker breaks up with a sleeper rather quickly.

Orton’s powerslam gets two and Orton is stunned at the kickout. Dude it was a powerslam. Calm down. The Last Ride out of the corner is blocked but the referee gets bumped. Another Last Ride is loaded up but here is Cowboy Bob Orton with a cast shot to the face, naturally for two.

The ticked off Undertaker comes up swinging, only to have to kick Bob down again. The chokeslam is loaded up…and countered into the RKO for a rather delayed two (if there was ever a point to end the Streak in this era, that was 100% it, with one of the best counters ever). Ever the moron, Randy tries a Tombstone and gets reversed into the real thing for the pin at 14:06 (that’s 13-0).

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times and I still feel bad when the RKO doesn’t finish it off. That was a perfect place to do it but dang they didn’t go that way. That being said, it’s still a heck of a match with Undertaker getting to show that he still has it. The Streak was a thing by this point and the idea of someone trying to take it out was becoming something huge, which would only get FAR bigger over the years.

We recap Trish Stratus defending the Women’s Title against Christy Hemme. This translates to “Lita is injured and Christy is in Playboy so it’s as good as we can do”.

Women’s Title: Christy Hemme vs. Trish Stratus

Hemme, with Lita (her coach), is challenging. Stratus even lays down for her to start before coming up with a shove. The one sided beating begins but Hemme blocks a Chick Kick. Lita offers a distraction and Hemme gets in a low blow (sure) so she can stomp away. Stratus is back up and they seem to get a bit confused so Stratus fires off some chops.

Hemme starts contorting and Lawler starts cheering, with Stratus hitting a spear to send her outside. Back in and a rollup gives Hemme two and she fires off some rather bad kicks. A reverse Twist Of Fate gets two and they fight over a rollup. Stratus has had it with this and kicks her in the head (area) to retain at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Well, they tried. The problem here is very simple: Hemme isn’t a wrestler and there isn’t much that can be done to get around that reality. Lita was only so much of a factor here, but again she could only do so much. There wasn’t much they could do here and the match wasn’t good, but you can only give them so much blame.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle. Michaels eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and Angle was ticked. He even brought up being tired of hearing about Michaels when he was the best amateur wrestler in the world back in 1996 and it’s time for him to prove his amazingness. On the other hand, it’s Michaels at Wrestlemania.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

They stare each other down to start and Michaels slaps him in the face, only to get wrestled to the ground without much effort. Michaels goes straight over to the ropes (in the same start, minus the slap, that Michaels would have with Shelton Benjamin about a month later) and we reset a bit. A headlock slows Angle down a bit and Michaels grinds away on that for a good while.

Angle finally gets up but gets hiptossed into a short armscissors as they’re definitely starting slowly. Back up and Angle drives him into the corner, where Michaels slugs away. That’s cut off again and the referee gets a bit too physical, allowing Angle to hit a forearm to the back. The ankle lock is broken up and Michaels clotheslines him out to the floor. It’s already time to load up the announcers’ table but Angle picks Michaels up for an Angle Slam into the post (the goal was for Michaels’ back to hit but it was more his hip, with the replay not helping).

Back in and Angle snaps off the suplex, followed by the reverse chinlock. With that broken up, Angle loads up the belly to belly superplex but Michaels knocks him off. The top rope elbow misses though and Angle takes the straps down, only to have the Angle Slam countered with an armdrag. Michaels backdrops him to the floor and goes up for a crossbody, only to seemingly slip and make the landing even nastier than usual. Angle gets up to block the Asai moonsault but can’t German suplex him off the apron. Instead Michaels hits a springboard crossbody to crush Angle onto the table and they’re both down.

They barely beat the count and slowly slug it out, with Michaels hitting the forearm. Now the elbow can connect but the superkick is countered into the ankle lock (which is a pretty simple way to go but Michaels can be a bit dim at times). Michaels finally makes the rope and gets two off a rollup but the superkick is countered again. One heck of an Angle Slam gets two and Angle isn’t sure what to do. He goes intellectual by putting the straps back up so he can take them down again (that’s just brilliant) but misses a moonsault (which almost sound up being a moonsault headbutt).

Michaels goes up again and it’s a super Angle Slam for two, with the fans losing it on the kickout. Angle yells at him a lot and gets superkicked for his efforts. Michaels finally gets the cover but Angle gets the shoulder up at the last half second, with the fans not being pleased. They slowly get up and Angle snatches the ankle lock, with Michaels rolling around but he can’t escape. Angle even gets the grapevine and Michaels still hangs on for the better part of two minutes (GEEZ) before tapping at 27:30.

Rating: A-. That ending is one of the only things that holds this one back as otherwise it’s an absolute classic. This is one of those pairings where you can just put them in the ring and you know it’s going to be magic, which is exactly what happened here. The double strap pull down is still great and the match holds up rather well. I mean…it’s Michaels vs. Angle for almost half an hour at Wrestlemania. What more do you want?

And after that, let’s have Piper’s Pit. Piper thanks the fans for the honor of the Hall Of Fame, despite them not really having much to do with it. As for tonight, he wanted to talk to the baddest, meanest, low downest rattlesnake son of an unnamed goat in WWE. Who is the biggest rebel in WWE? Steve Austin? BULLS***!

Piper has to see this guy in person so here is Austin, for the first time in a good while. Austin gets in the ring, where Piper welcomes him to the Pit and then slaps him. Austin thanks Piper and slaps him right back. Piper: “I kinda like ya!” Piper says he respects Austin and is immediately thrown off by the WHAT chants. He likes what Austin has done with Vince McMahon over the years (and starts getting the rhythm right to deal with the chants) but he was here when Wrestlemania didn’t even have a number.

Piper agrees on everything else, but when it comes to being a rebel, Austin has nothing on him. Austin mocks Piper’s fashion sense and says he isn’t intimidated whatsoever. Piper goes to respond but Austin tells him to think about it…and here’s Carlito to be in WAY over his head. Austin and Piper accuse the other of having a plan but Carlito says they’re slapping each other like little girls. Neither of them are cool and everyone wants to see Carlito. Piper calls Carlito “Alfalfa” for his out of date reference of the night.

Carlito wants both of them out of here and loads up the apple, which Piper takes. Instead Piper takes a bite of the apple and spits it at Carlito, who comes up swinging. Austin makes the save and hits the Stunner on Carlito. Piper throws Carlito out, beer is consumed, and Piper gets Stunned too. All in all, a pretty complete wast of time as they didn’t have anything to say to each other and Austin didn’t seem to care.

Akebono vs. Big Show

This is a sumo match and the fans are basically silent for Akebono, mainly because he has nothing to do with WWE. The whole point of this is to have the sight gag of Big Show in a thong and that’s about it. They do the big ceremonial start, they grapple, Show almost gets him out, Akebono does get him out at 1:01. This was a thing that happened.

We recap JBL defending the Smackdown World Title against John Cena. It’s a straight up culture clash as JBL is the old school rich Texan while Cena is the modern star who had the spinner title and wears throwback jerseys. Cena won a tournament and the match was on, but they weren’t allowed to have any physical contact. Therefore, they both tormented the other to ramp up some tension.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Cena is challenging while JBL gets a police motorcade and JBL bucks rain down from the ceiling. Cena starts fast with a running shoulder for a knockdown but JBL gets a boot up in the corner. That means JBL can hit his own running shoulder and Cena is in trouble for a change. The slow beating ensues, including JBL grabbing a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Back up and JBL chokes on the ropes before Cena tries to fight back, only to charge into a spinebuster for two more. There’s another neckbreaker for another two, followed by a short arm clothesline for the same. JBL forearms him in the back and grabs the sleeper, with Cena finally suplexing his way out of trouble.

A double clothesline puts both of them down but Cena is sent crashing out to the floor. Back in and JBL takes him up top for the superplex but goes for a high crossbody for some reason, earning a powerslam out of the air. Cena initiates the comeback and it’s the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle. JBL gets a boot up in the corner but misses the Clothesline, allowing Cena to hit the FU for his first World Title at 11:27.

Rating: C. Yeah it’s historic as Cena gets the win to end the JBL title reign, but at the end of the day, it was a pretty boring match. JBL just could not back it up in the ring and that was on display here. Cena tried as hard as he could and had the fire in his eyes, but JBL never even had a big near fall to build some drama. Cena wins clean, but that’s all there was here and that didn’t quite carry it to greatness.

Post match Cena celebrates in the crowd in a clip that was on a lot of highlight reels.

We go to the Hall Of Fame induction ceremony from last night, with Hulk Hogan headlining and Roddy Piper getting in a nice speech. Iron Sheik doing his rambling and raving and Bobby Heenan going “WHAT THE H*** DID HE JUST SAY???” was great too.

Gene Okerlund presents the class of 2005:

Nikolai Volkoff (unfortunately not in the brown suit)
Iron Sheik (makes sense)
Paul Orndorff (who apparently intentionally left his plaque in his hotel room because it was cheap)
Bob Orton Jr. (the arm seems healed)
Jimmy Hart (you have to have him)
Roddy Piper (yep)
Hulk Hogan (they’re probably not here without him)

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Batista. They’ve been part of Evolution together but Batista has become a star, while HHH is still the focal point. It became clear that HHH only cared about keeping himself as the star but then Batista won the Royal Rumble. Before he could decide who to challenge, he overheard HHH and Ric Flair mocking him, which was enough for him to make the decision to challenge HHH. The thumbs up turning into a thumbs down as he chose to come after HHH is still great stuff.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Batista

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and is played to the ring by Motorhead, with Lemmy mostly butchering the words. To be fair, it’s still a pretty awesome entrance and the belt looks extra shiny. Unfortunately this is before Batista got I Walk Alone so his entrance doesn’t have the same impact. We get an old school weapons check and we’re ready to go. They take turns shoving each other to start with Batista getting a bit of an advantage with the power game.

HHH’s running shoulder doesn’t work as Batista knocks him down so we’ll try a headlock instead. An early Pedigree attempt is countered into quite the slam and HHH needs to cool off a bit. Back up and HHH goes with the simple idea of hitting Batista in the face but Batista gives him a backdrop. The jumping knee puts Batista outside again, where Flair’s distraction lets HHH send Batista into the steps.

Back in and HHH chokes away so Flair does the same, with Lawler not seeing anything wrong with it. HHH rams Batista’s back into the barricade a few times and starts hammering away on it back inside. Some knees to the back set up a backbreaker and Flair chokes away again (JR losing it is great). Batista fights out of the corner but walks into the spinebuster for two. The neckbreaker gets two more but another Pedigree attempt is countered with a backdrop.

HHH facebusters him for two and goes up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. A sidewalk slam gives Batista two but he charges into a boot in the corner. Batista is fine enough to throw HHH into the corner and over the top for a big crash outside. Batista follows in a not so bright move and gets sent into the steps, with HHH taking him onto those steps for a Pedigree attempt. That’s countered into a catapult into the post and we’ve got the fastest bleeding in history.

HHH’s bleeding head is rammed into more steps before they get back inside, where Batista has that look in his eyes. Batista just unloads with forearms to the cut, followed by a running corner clothesline. It works so well that Batista does it again, followed by a powerslam for two. HHH staggers out to the floor, where Flair’s distraction lets him grab a chair.

The referee takes it away but gets bumped in the process, allowing Flair to grab the belt. That earns him a spinebuster back inside so the referee gets rid of him, allowing HHH to get in a belt shot for two. Batista is back with the spinebuster but HHH goes low. The Pedigree is blocked AGAIN, with Batista even breaking HHH’s grip for a cool visual. Batista powers him up for an Air Raid Crash of all things and it’s thumbs down. The Batista Bomb finishes HHH at 21:34.

Rating: B. The goal here was to make Batista look like a huge deal and put him over for the World Title on the biggest stage of them all. That worked and it worked very well. You really couldn’t have asked for the result to be much better, though the match itself didn’t quite get all the way to greatness. It’s perfectly good though and that’s enough to get by, especially with the right result.

Post match Batista glares at HHH and Flair as they leave. Batista poses as the pyro goes off (that was on the opening highlight package for a long time).

The big highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. Again, the goal of this show was to get Cena and Batista over as the new generation and that happened. Everything else is pretty much a big bonus, with only the Women’s Title and sumo matches being downgrades. Angle vs. Michaels is pretty easily the match of the night, with some other rather good stuff included. I liked this more than I thought I would and it’s a rather strong show, with the big goal being more than accomplished.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XX
Date: March 14, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole

It’s the second of three redos this year and it is a show that I have seen quite a few times over the years. WWE knows how to bust out the big anniversary shows and that is what we will be seeing here. The fact that the show is in Madison Square Garden makes it even better. The main event is HHH defending the Raw World Title against Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels in a match that I think might work. Let’s get to it.

The Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful with a VERY patriotic montage.

The opening video features Vince McMahon walking out of the shadows and talking about how he had a vision twenty years ago which shaped everything today. This gives us the always awesome montage of Wrestlemania clips, which really is their strong suit. They know how to make things feel special and that is what they did here. Speaking of special, the video ends with Shane McMahon now next to Vince and presenting his son, Vince’s first grandchild, as the narrator talks about where it all begins again. That has always stuck with me since I saw this show for the first time and it is great.

In a change from the usual MSG setup, the entrance is on the left instead of opposite the hard camera, though there is a large screen showing the current match.

We get the traditional welcome from the multiple commentary teams.

US Title: John Cena vs. Big Show

Cena is challenging and is on fire here, while Big Show has defended the title less than three times since winning it back in October. Cena’s rap mocks Show’s anatomy in various ways and promises that he’ll win the title tonight. Show shoves him away to start but Cena is back with the right hands. Cena’s shots are shrugged off though and he gets sent outside, setting up a powerslam for two back inside.

The fans think Show sucks as he slowly hammers Cena down, including a slam. We get the required standing on Cena’s chest/throat and a suplex drops Cena again. More standing, this time on Cena’s back, seems to wake him up a bit but Show kicks him in the face. Show’s standing legdrop gets two and the frustration starts setting in fast. Powered by the fans (his kind always is), Cena slips out of a slam and grabs a choke, which earns him a hard clotheslines.

Show is back with the cobra clutch but Cena powers out again and avoids a charge in the corner. The FU barely gets two though and now it’s Cena being stunned. With nothing else working, Cena grabs his chain, which is taken away by the competent referee. Instead it’s the brass knuckles off Show’s head, setting up the FU to give the filthy cheater the pin and the title at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was more of a coronation than anything else and it came at the end of a not very interesting match. The problem with someone like Show is there are only so many things that you can do with him. Cena has the power to make it work a little better, but this isn’t the best time in Show’s history and it was obvious here. That being said, this was ALL about Cena and as long as he left with the title, nothing else mattered.

Coach is walking through the back and after meeting various people like Tom Prichard and Teddy Long, he goes in to see Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff (with assistant Johnny Nitro), who wants to make sure that Undertaker is here. Bischoff sends Coach to find him but Coach isn’t exactly comfortable with that. He goes anyway, as Bischoff doesn’t really care.

Evolution, minus HHH, is in a stairwell, with Randy Orton talking about how it’s ironic that we are back here in MSG where he became the new Hardcore Legend. We see a clip of Orton kicking Mick Foley down these steps, which made Foley walk away back in December. Then Foley came back, when Orton spat in his face. Foley can’t accept that life has passed him by, just like evolution.

We see clips of Foley being beaten up over and over, including a segment where Foley told Orton to really hit him in the face. Evolution has gotten bored with it, just like Foley, so he called Hollywood to get the Rock. Then Evolution beat him down too and they’ll do it again tonight. It all started here in MSG, and tonight it all ends here as well. This one always stuck out for me too, just because of the different location.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

Van Dam and Booker are defending (with their pretty terrible mashup theme) and this is one fall to a finish. Dupree and Van Dam start things off with a monkey flip sending Dupree flying. Booker beats up La Resistance but it’s off to Bubba for the hard lockup. A neckbreaker drops Booker for two and the snap jabs put him down again. D-Von comes in so Van Dam takes him down with a top rope kick to the face, showing that he too is a filthy cheater by coming in without a tag.

Jindrak tags himself in to stomp away on Booker and it’s Dupree coming back in to drive Booker into the corner. Conway cranks on both arms with a knee in Booker’s back for far too long until a spinebuster breaks things up. The hot tag brings in Van Dam to clean house but D-Von shoves him off the top to break up the Five Star. Everything breaks down and Cade saves Booker from the 3D. Booker kicks Conway down and the Five Star retains the titles at 7:54.

Rating: C-. This is one of the most “yeah whatever” matches I can remember in a long time. There were too many people involved and it was only so good because of all of the people running around. Also, why are you using a minute of an eight minute match on a rest hold? You have eight people involved but we spent that long on Conway pulling Booker’s arms? Really?

Coach goes to find Undertaker and is told there are some “freakish noises” coming from a door. He heads to the door, which is being knocked back and forth. Gene Okerlund, pulling his clothes come back on, comes out, followed by Bobby Heenan, whose shirt is undone. Coach wonders what is going on, but Heenan says they were playing poker. Heenan: “He was dealing.” Coach wants to know what was going on in there, so here are Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young, who grab Gene and Heenan and drag them back in. Heenan: “No I don’t want to go back! I haven’t been well!” This still gets me every time.

We recap Christian vs. Chris Jericho. They used to be best friends and made a bet about who could be more, ahem, successful with Lita and Trish Stratus respectively. Lita kind of went away, but Jericho started to fall for Trish. She found out about the bet and yelled at Jericho, who then tried to win her back. Christian turned on Jericho to get him to be the old Jericho again, setting up the match. This was a really detailed story and I’ve always liked it for telling a coherent story throughout. You don’t get that often and it was one of the best of the era.

Chris Jericho vs. Christian

They fight over a lockup to start and go into the corner, with Christian shoving him instead of giving a clean break. Jericho punches him in the face and starts throwing knees to take over, setting up the running elbow. A kick to the face and a backdrop to the floor keep Christian in trouble and Jericho hits a bit dive to take him down again. Back in and Christian manages to belly to back suplex him to the floor to take over for the first time.

The neck crank goes on back inside, followed by a chinlock with a knee in Jericho’s back. A spinwheel kick gives Christian two and it’s time to slap Jericho in the face a few times. That earns him a head to head collision though and they’re both down. The slugout goes to Jericho and he hits the running crotch attack to the back in the ropes. The step up enziguri gives Jericho two but Christian reverses a rollup into one of his own, with a grab of the rope getting two.

Jericho’s bulldog sets up the Lionsault to Christian’s raised knees and a reverse tornado DDT gives Christian two of his own. Jericho is right back up with his swinging sleeper drop but he gets tossed off the top, banging up his knee in the process. Christian’s high crossbody is rolled through so he kicks Jericho in the knee. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on for a bit until Jericho reverses into the Walls.

Christian is in the ropes almost immediately and he rolls outside….with Jericho holding on and keeping the Walls on outside. Back in and a butterfly superplex gives Jericho two and here is Trish Stratus to slap the apron. An implant DDT gives Christian two, which draws Trish up to the apron. Christian shoves her down so Jericho sends him outside. Trish elbows Jericho in the face (it’s unclear if she could see who it was) and Christian’s rollup with tights is enough for the pin at 14:44.

Rating: B. This got going once it became a regular match and these two have more than enough talent to make a longer match work. Christian certainly needed the win more than Jericho here, as it was a big boost in probably his biggest singles win ever. Jericho winning here ends the feud so having Christian move up is the right way to go. Good match too, and that really shouldn’t be surprising.

Post match Trish is upset and apologizes to Jericho. Christian comes back but Trish turns on Jericho and slaps him on the face, setting up the Unprettier. Evil Trish leaves with Christian and we get the semi-famous kiss on the stage in the next big step for both of them.

Mick Foley is fired up to be back in Madison Square Garden and needs to get in that mindset to put all of this anger and emotion on Evolution. The Rock interrupts and is VERY fired up, saying he has finally come back…..home. After telling Lilian Garcia not to look at the People’s package (which she does), Rock steals the cameraman to come with him and sees Hurricane and Rosey, Jimmy Snuka and Don Muraco and then goes all the way into the arena for a shot of the crowd. They’re ready for Evolution and it’s weird seeing Rock and Foley as these two big serious guys going up against evil.

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

No recap video here, but it’s basically Foley fighting Randy Orton and the two of them both have major backup. Rock and Foley clear the ring to start before Rock and Flair settle things down, giving the New York fans a crazy dream match. A shoulder puts Flair down and Rock busts out a strut, with Flair coming back up for a WOO. The chops don’t do Flair any good and Rock hits a backdrop to send him rolling outside.

Foley follows him out and drops Flair with a clothesline before coming in himself. That sends Orton bailing to the floor so Foley is right there to send him into the announcers’ table. Back in and Rock takes over on Orton (there’s a dream match we never got), but has to punch Flair and Batista off the apron. The distraction is enough for Batista to come in and take over, allowing Flair to hit some more effective chops. We get the big strut and Flair goes up top and….oh you know the deal.

Batista comes back in before Rock can bring in Foley but the tag brings in Foley a few seconds later anyway. Foley fights out of the corner and hammers Batista down but that huge Batista clothesline cuts his down. Some double teaming on the floor has Foley in more trouble and there’s the big whip to send him knees first into the steps (taking that bump so many times explains so much about why Foley walks that way).

Back in and Foley and Flair slug it out until Orton can come in and pull at Foley’s hair for a reverse chinlock. Batista adds some clotheslines but Foley slips in a quick Mandible Claw. In a smarter move than you would expect from a musclehead like this version of Batista, he waves Orton in for the save instead of getting in more trouble. Flair comes back in and gets forearmed in the face, allowing the really easy tag back to Rock. House is cleaned but Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster.

That lets Flair….load up the People’s Elbow (complete with throwing an invisible elbow pad), but again he takes too long, allowing Rock to nip up and really clean house. The spinebuster plants Flair, setting up a People’s Elbow, complete with strut, for a delayed two. There’s the Rock Bottom to Orton with Flair making the save.

Flair grabs a chair but the distraction lets the Batista Bomb hit Rock to give Orton two (in the same way Batista helped Orton beat Shawn Michaels at Survivor Series 2003). The real hot tag brings in Foley to clean house but the Mandible Claw takes too long (theme of the match) and Orton grabs an RKO for the pin at 17:55.

Rating: B+. The more I see this match, the more I like it, as you have Rock and Flair doing everything they could to steal the show and Foley going after Orton every chance he could. Batista was in there with the muscle and it made for a great showcase. It was every bit the big moment that they were shooting for and it made me want to see a bunch of these combinations again. That wouldn’t happen for the most part, but dang they made this one work really well, as the match itself was a backdrop to just doing entertaining stuff, leaving the crowd completely in their hands.

Hall of Fame video recap, featuring Heenan’s “I wish Monsoon was here”, which will get me every single time.

The Hall of Fame class is introduced by Gene Okerlund:

Bobby Heenan (still playing to the crowd as only he can)
Tito Santana (about as perfect of a midcarder as you could have)
Big John Studd (represented by his son)
Harley Race (yep, though billing him as The King is a bit odd)
Pete Rose (booed, but apparently very grateful for the honor so points for that)
Don Muraco (I could go for more of him, as you don’t see him brought up very often)
Greg Valentine (who looks like he is ready for Wrestlemania IV)
Junkyard Dog (represented by his daughter)
Billy Graham (there’s an influential one)
Sgt. Slaughter (with the salutes)
Jesse Ventura (I could listen to that voice talk about anything, as long as he jabs McMahon)

This was the first class in almost ten years and it is a heck of a group, though no one really stands out as a headliner.

Sable/Torrie Wilson vs. Miss Jackie/Stacy Keibler

Playboy Evening Gown match, as Jackie and Stacy are jealous of the other two for being in the magazine. Hold on though as Sable wants to start minus the evening gowns. That’s exactly what we do, with commentary reacting exactly as you would expect them to. Jackie won’t drop her gown so it gets ripped off of her to start fast. Sable kicks at Jackie’s ribs in the corner and Torrie comes in with a high crossbody.

Stacy comes in (taking her time to come over the ropes) and throws in a cartwheel. The Kevin Nash choke in the corner doesn’t do Stacy much good so they go to the pinfall reversal sequence for various camera shots. Stacy’s kick to the face gets two on Torrie before it’s back to Jackie. The referee gets rolled over and it’s Torrie reversing a rollup for the pin on Jackie at 2:32. This is exactly what you would have expected it to be.

Fans have come from various states and countries for the show.

WWE Champion Eddie Guerrero says he has Chris Benoit’s back win or lose, but Benoit doesn’t like the word lose. Eddie says no one believes in him but Benoit says he believes in himself and tonight is his night. That’s what Eddie wanted to hear.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (with his dad) is defending and will enter last in the ten person gauntlet. Everyone gets their entrance (with Ultimo Dragon’s two slips edited out, thankfully) and it’s Shannon Moore in at #1 and Ultimo Dragon in at #2. Dragon works on the arm to start but Moore shoulders him down for….well not much really. Back up and Moore misses a Whisper in the Wind, allowing Dragon to hit his standing Sliced Bread for the elimination at 1:19.

Jamie Noble is in at #3 to jump Dragon from behind with a clothesline for two. Dragon is right back with his alternating kicks for two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. A neckbreaker drops Dragon and a guillotine choke finishes him off at 2:17 (total). Funaki is in at #4 and hits a high crossbody but Noble rolls through for the pin at 2:27.

Nunzio is in at #5 as commentary brings up SD Jones getting pinned in nine seconds at Wrestlemania. Some quick rollups give Nunzio two but Noble sends him outside for the HUGE flip dive off the top. They take turns pulling each other off the apron until Noble gets the countout elimination at 4:20.

Billy Kidman is in at #6 to jump Noble from behind (again with the filthy cheaters) and Nunzio pulls Noble to the floor. Instead of standing around, Kidman hits a crazy top rope shooting star onto the two of them for the almost terrifying landing. Thankfully Kidman is able to throw Noble back inside for two but has to fight out of the guillotine. An enziguri sets up the shooting star press, but Kidman has to fight Noble off. That’s fine enough, as the super BK Bomb gets rid of Noble at 6:12.

Rey Mysterio (as the Flash) is in at #7 and the top rope seated senton connects, only to have Kidman blast him with a dropkick. Mysterio hits his own dropkick to send Kidman outside but Akio snaps Rey’s throat across the top. Kidman’s spinebuster gets two so he puts Rey on top, only to get pulled down with a sunset bomb for the elimination at 7:30.

It’s Tajiri in at #8 to kick away at Mysterio and the Tarantula makes it worse. That doesn’t last long (just shy of five seconds oddly enough) and it’s the 619 to rock Tajiri. The springboard….something misses though and Tajiri loads up the mist, which hits an interfering Akio by mistake.

Rey grabs a rollup to get rid of Tajiri at 8:39 and apparently the mist means Akio can’t go, so Chavo is in at #10 to complete the field. Tajiri cheap shots Rey so Chavo gets two but Rey fights up and takes Chavo Sr. down. The running flip dive takes out Sr. again (well that seemed excessive) so Jr. grabs a rollup, with Sr. grabbing his hands to retain the title at 10:31.

Rating: C. This was the next match in the “well, here are a bunch of people” series of matches on the show. I’ve never gotten the logic of these matches as you have people getting falls in a minute when usual matches take five times as long as one elimination here. At the same time, Chavo just keeps the title, making this quite the uninteresting showcase, save for Kidman’s big spots.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. They talked trash to each other at the Royal Rumble and then Lesnar interfered in said Rumble to help eliminate Goldberg. Then Goldberg cost Lesnar the WWE Title so we have this match, with Steve Austin as guest referee. As a result, the feud wound up being Lesnar vs. Austin, as Austin gave Goldberg the idea to help cost Lesnar the title. Then Lesnar stole Austin’s ATV and Goldberg was just kind of there too. Oh and both Goldberg and Lesnar are leaving after the show and everyone knows about it.

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Steve Austin is guest referee. Lesnar and Goldberg do their big entrances and we immediately hit the YOU SOLD OUT chants (pick your target). They stare at each other for almost a minute and Austin tells them to go at it. Now it’s the Goodbye Song as I try to get my mind around the idea of Lesnar having a tiny goatee coming in. They stare at each other some more as commentary talks about Lesnar going to the NFL.

There’s no contact for the first two minutes so Austin stares at both of them as he figures out that this is going to be a long night. They finally lock up after about 2:50 and that stays on for nearly 40 seconds with both of them letting go. They fight over another lockup, and by fight I mean they’re standing there with their arms around each other’s heads. Fans: “THIS MATCH SUCKS!”

Lesnar grabs a headlock for the first offensive move about five minutes in. They trade shoulders with neither going anywhere so they go nose to nose to yell at each other. The double shoulder puts them both down and then stare at each other a bit. Goldberg FINALLY picks him up in a gorilla press for a spinebuster but the spear only hits buckle. After a GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, Lesnar throws him back inside for some suplexes and a standing choke as Lawler desperately tries to turn this into a Raw vs. Smackdown thing.

That goes on for a long time as well until Goldberg fights out and they collide again, earning some straight booing. Goldberg fights up again and hits some clotheslines into a swinging neckbreaker. The spear gets two so Goldberg yells at Austin, allowing Lesnar to come back with the F5 for two. Now it’s Lesnar yelling at Austin, meaning he misses a spear of his own. Goldberg hits the spear and the Jackhammer gets rid of Lesnar for about eight years.

Rating: D-. Of course the match is terrible and a form of torture in 14 states, but there is some kind of perverse entertainment out of the whole thing. This wasn’t designed to be an entertaining match but rather two guys just messing around until they did a few things and called it a match. It’s an all time mess, but it’s a bit different than a match being a wreck just because it isn’t any good. This one is so bad that it’s fun in a way, which is a very different thing.

Post match we get beer and Stunners as the fans are pleased with Austin for knocking out those two after that match.

Wrestlemania XXI is in Los Angeles.

In a very nice moment, Vince McMahon comes out to thank the fans for being there for twenty years of Wrestlemania. This is the kind of genuine feeling moment that you do not get in modern WWE and it was kind of sweet.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA vs. Too Cool

Too Cool (Scotty 2 Hotty/Rikishi) are defending and again it’s one fall to a finish. Benjamin jumps Bradshaw to start and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Doug Basham tags himself in and suplexes Benjamin down for two, with Haas having to make the save. Back up and Benjamin slams Doug onto Haas’ knee and it’s off to Scotty to run Haas over.

That lets Scotty stop to dance but he gets thrown over the top. Scotty is fine enough to skin the cat but Haas catches him on his shoulders, allowing Benjamin to hit the running jump onto his back. The Bashams come in and hit a double suplex on Scotty to take over as the heat segment in the second four way Tag Team Title match on a four and a half hour show continues.

Scotty finally flips out of a belly to back suplex and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. Haas takes the Stinkface and Bradshaw fall away slams Doug over the top and onto a pile on the floor. The Clothesline From Bradshaw hits Danny but Rikishi takes Bradshaw out and sits on Danny to retain at 6:03.

Rating: D+. It was about the same as the first four way, but this would probably be the first match that needed to be cut to trim some of the time off this very long show. Rikishi and Scotty are another on the long list of forgotten teams to hold the titles and it isn’t like this was anything memorable either.

Dancing ensues post match.

Edge is coming back after over a year away with a neck injury.

Here is Jesse Ventura to interview someone so he picks…..Donald Trump, who happens to be in the front row. Jesse plugs the Apprentice and suggests that he is going to run for President, even asking for Trump’s financial and moral support. Sure, and we’ll move on as fast as we can.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Victoria is defending and this is title vs. hair, which was the only way they could get this match on the show so the two of them immediately agreed. Molly forearms her down to start and hits a running hip attack in the corner. Back up and Victoria spins out of a wristlock and Molly needs an early breather. She gets back in and grabs a snap suplex for two on Victoria, setting up a basement dropkick for two more.

The neck crank is on as Lawler goes into a discussion of Molly’s underwear. JR: “What does that have to do with this wrestling match?” Victoria fights up and hits a powerslam for two as JR wants some hot tea. Molly is sat on top and comes back with a sunset bomb for two of her own. For some reason Molly tries the Widow’s Peak (Victoria’s finisher) but Victoria reverses into a rollup to retain at 4:54.

Rating: C. They were victims of the time problems again here as there is only so much you can do in less than five minutes. The good thing is that the two of them are talented enough to make something out of nothing so the match was certainly watchable, even if it was more about setting up the post match stuff. It’s literally a case of this being the best WWE could give them though and that is better than just cutting the match.

Post match Molly tries to run away but gets sleepered out and tied in the chair for the big hair cut.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the WWE Title. Angle attacked Eddie because he didn’t want a former drug addict as the WWE Champion (the future would not be kind to this story for Angle). Therefore, it is time for a real hero to take the title but Eddie isn’t standing for this. Smackdown General Manager Paul Heyman has gotten in on Angle’s side and has helped him destroy Eddie more than once, including once when Eddie’s hands were handcuffed behind his back. Now it’s time for revenge.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Eddie is defending and the haircut is continuing as Angle makes his entrance. They start slowly with Eddie actually taking him down but making the mistake of trying to go amateur with him. Angle’s headlock takeover works rather well but Eddie as we get the LET’S GO ANGLE/ANGLE SUCKS chants. Eddie gets a fireman’s carry takeover but Angle flips over into a front facelock without much trouble.

A backdrop gets Eddie out of trouble and he armdrags Angle over into an armbar, setting in the frustration. Angle fights up and gets an abdominal stretch to stretch Eddie’s abdominals before hitting a German suplex. The second is escaped and Eddie winds up on the apron, where he has to block the German suplex to the floor. A dropkick puts Angle down but Eddie’s big dive only hits the barricade to bang up his ribs even more.

Some shoulders to the ribs set up a bodyscissors but Eddie jawbreaks his way to freedom. That lasts for all of two seconds as Angle drops the ribs across the top rope and snaps off an overhead belly to belly. Now it’s a waistlock to stay on the ribs and another belly to belly gives Angle another two. Eddie manages a quick knockdown though and goes up for the frog splash, which only hits mat.

The frustrated Angle starts throwing right hands, which just fire Eddie up enough to start his comeback. The rolling German suplexes cut that off in a hurry but the Angle Slam is countered into an armdrag. Two Amigos connect until Angle picks the ankle but Eddie kicks him off immediately. Eddie goes up but Angle is right there with the run up the ropes belly to belly superplex for the big crash back down.

Angle runs him over again though and the straps come down, setting up the Angle Slam. Eddie breaks that up as well and it’s a DDT to set up the frog splash for a rather close two. The ankle lock goes on again so Eddie rolls him outside and starts untying his boot to loosen the pressure. Back in and the angry Angle grabs the ankle lock, only to have Eddie kick him away and lose his boot. Angle is so stunned that he gets small packaged to retain Eddie’s title at 21:33.

Rating: A-. This was more about the psychology as Angle was hyper focused and Eddie eventually suckered him in with the boot. It made for a great finish, but it also came after an awesome match with Angle taking Eddie apart as only he could and Eddie having to survive. The ending was a very Eddie way to retain the title and that grin is hard to turn down. Absolutely a Wrestlemania match and an instant classic that doesn’t get the credit it deserves.

We recap Undertaker vs. Kane in the return of the Dead Man. Kane had turned on Undertaker and buried him alive (again) because he thought Undertaker was going soft. Then the gong went off at the Royal Rumble and Kane realized he was in trouble. Now Undertaker is back and it’s time for some revenge.

Kane vs. Undertaker

It’s the first time the Dead Man has been back since 1999 and Paul Bearer is right there with him. We also have torch bearing druids, because you always need torch bearing druids. Kane is already panicked and shouts that Undertaker isn’t real, because somehow Kane still doesn’t get how Undertaker works. Undertaker finally starts punching away against the ropes and they head to the floor for a slugout. That goes to Undertaker, who hits the apron legdrop to stun Kane again.

Back in and Kane kicks him in the face and it turns into a slugout on the mat for a change. The side slam plants Undertaker again, setting up the top rope clothesline for two. Undertaker fights right back with more right hands and tries Old School, which is pulled out of the air by the throat. The chokeslam plants Undertaker but Kane poses instead of covering. Undertaker sits up and stares at Kane mid pose, meaning it’s time for the real beating. Right hands, the chokeslam and the Tombstone finish Kane to make it 12-0 at 6:55.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t about the match but rather Undertaker being back, so there was no reason to believe that Kane was any serious threat. What mattered here was having Undertaker get back in the ring and destroy Kane because he is back in a big way. Kane was the designated victim here, which has been the case for him so many times now that he should be used to it.

We recap HHH defending the Raw World Title against Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit. Michaels and HHH went to a draw at the Royal Rumble so HHH retained the title. Then Benoit jumped to Raw and said he wanted the Raw World Title. The contract signing was set but Shawn ran in to interrupt, saying he needed that one more shot. He took out Benoit and signed the contract, because WWE continues to not get how contracts work. Steve Austin then made the match a triple threat, with Shawn being the most wedged in challenger of all time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH is defending in his weird white boots look. We go old school with the weapons check before Benoit sends HHH outside to start. That leaves Benoit to miss a backslide and Crossface on Shawn, who grabs a rollup for two. A northern lights suplex gives Benoit two but HHH is back in. Shawn has to skin the cat to get back inside, where he tosses Benoit out instead.

HHH is set outside as well, where he and Benoit are taken down by a baseball slide. Shawn’s big moonsault to the floor puts everyone down for a change until Benoit is left alone on the outside. The Pedigree is broken up by a returning Benoit, who fires off knees to Shawn’s ribs and sends him into the post. Shawn is fine enough to come back and tie Benoit in the Tree of Woe but HHH cuts Shawn off again.

The flying forearms drops HHH and Shawn nips up, only to have Benoit toss him outside. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but gets crotched by Shawn, who misses Sweet Chin Music to HHH. A DDT sends Shawn outside and a superplex gets six (which is somehow not three) on Benoit. The Crossface goes on out of nowhere so Shawn has to dive in for the save. That earns Shawn some rolling German suplexes into a Swan Dive for a rather close two as HHH is still down.

Now it’s Shawn making the comeback and hammering on Benoit, who gets sent outside. HHH gets superkicked for two with Benoit making the save so everyone goes outside. Shawn gets posted and busted open so Benoit puts on the Crossface, with HHH having to grab the hand to block the tap. HHH sends Benoit into the steps and loads up the announcers’ table (it wouldn’t be Wrestlemania without it), with Shawn helping on a double suplex to put Benoit through said table.

NOW we get the big HHH vs. Shawn slugout, because that’s what the two of them probably wanted this to be the whole time. Shawn whips HHH over the corner for the crash to the floor, with HHH coming up bleeding. Back in and Shawn slowly gets the better of things but a quick Pedigree takes him down.

Benoit has to come back in for the save before sending Shawn outside. The Sharpshooter has HHH in trouble so Shawn breaks it up with the superkick for a delayed two. Benoit sends him outside and reverses the Pedigree into the Crossface. HHH can’t get the rope and Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring for the tap and the title at 24:08.

Rating: A+. Yes it’s still a masterpiece with nothing close to a misstep or weak part and that is not something you get to see very often. All three worked hard and at the end of the day, Benoit won clean over HHH via submission in the middle of the ring. This felt like the main event of a milestone show and it was an incredible match which has not gotten old every time I have seen it. That is hard to do and it certainly deserves the honor.

Benoit gets the HUGE celebration with the confetti falling. Eddie Guerrero comes in for the shot that is now iconic for all the wrong reasons and JR’s voice gives out with the shouting to end the show.

Well almost, as we get the highlight reel to really wrap it up.

Overall Rating: B. In case it wasn’t clear throughout, there are more than a few matches on this show that feel like they are there for the sake of getting people on the card. If you get rid of those matches, this is an all time classic, as well as having the show be under four hours. The rest of the show is pretty much an all timer (Goldberg vs. Lesnar aside) with the matches either feeling important or being great. Just trim it down and stop cramming things in and it’s that much better. It’s absolutely worth a look if you have seen it before or not, but have the fast forward button ready.

Ratings Comparison

John Cena vs. Big Show

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Booker T/Rob Van Dam vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Dudley Boys vs. La Resistance

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C-

Christian vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: B
2022 Redo: B

Evolution vs. The Rock/Mick Foley

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B+

Torrie Wilson/Sable vs. Stacy Keibler/Miss Jackie

Original: F
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2018 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Cruiserweight Open

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: F
2013 Redo: E
2015 Redo: F
2018 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Too Cool vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Basham Brothers vs. APA

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Victoria vs. Molly Holly

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C-
2018 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: A
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A
2022 Redo: A-

Undertaker vs. Kane

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2018 Redo: D
2022 Redo: D+

Chris Benoit vs. HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2018 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2018 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

I think we’ve found about the definitive ratings for this one, or at least as close as you’re going to get after five looks at it.

 

 

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Wrestlemania XIX
Date: March 30, 2003
Location: Safeco Field, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 54,097
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This one is very interesting as the TV leading up to the show has been a cross between boring and really bad, yet the show has one of the best reputations of all time. I’m really curious to see how it goes from such a bad build to such a great show, especially with so much emphasis on Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Sunday Night Heat: Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

Morely and Storm are defending with Morely acting as the new champion due to William Regal being injured. The Dudleys are on the floor in forced servitude to Morely and Eric Bischoff. Van Dam kicks Morely out to the floor to start and it’s Kane diving onto the champs for a cool visual as we take a break. Back with the champs in control and Morely grabbing a chinlock. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two as the announcers rip on Morely. The Money Shot misses and it’s off to Kane for the house cleaning.

Storm breaks out of a chokeslam and gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. There’s the top rope clothesline for two with Morely making the save, only to eat a jumping kick to the face. The chokeslam looks to set up the Five Star but Rob comes inside before jumping to the top. Morely shoves him off, which makes me think there was some mistiming there. The distraction lets the Dudleys hit a 3D on Storm….and an elbow on Van Dam so the champs can retain the titles.

Rating: D+. That’s certainly how you warm a crowd up. If ever there was a time for an easy title change to give the fans something to cheer for, it should have been this right here. When you consider how soon Kane and Van Dam would get the titles anyway, this really seems like a big head scratcher.

The opening video shows wrestlers getting ready with a collection of voiceovers talking about how important this one night really is. This treats the event with a lot more respect and it’s quite the effective idea. It shows that everyone is in awe of the event itself and makes it feel even bigger.

And now, the theme song Crack Addict. So much for the respect part.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy

Matt, defending here and accompanied by Shannon Moore, is appearing in his fourth Wrestlemania and often wonders how they did Wrestlemania without him. Mysterio is dressed like Daredevil, starting the awesome tradition of dressing like a superhero (most of the time) at Wrestlemania.

Matt is sent outside early on and Rey busts out a corkscrew dive to take both of them down. Rey can’t hit a sunset bomb to the floor so Matt drops him onto the barricade to take over. The Ricochet gets two as Tazz talks about Matt being off the banana juice and moving to tea. The Twist of Fate is countered into a rollup but Matt grabs the Side Effect for two. As Cole talks about loving latex and teabagging (seriously), Matt misses a charge into the post and Rey gets two off a crossbody.

Shannon breaks up the 619 though and now the Twist of Fate gets two. Splash Mountain is loaded up but Rey reverses with a hurricanrana for two more. Shannon makes the save so Rey takes him down before hitting the 619 on Matt. The West Coast Pop is broken up though and Matt grabs a rollup and the rope to retain.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as you want something fast paced but don’t want to overstay your welcome. They were in and out in less than six minutes, which is pretty close to the sweet spot for an opener. Mysterio winning probably would have been the better option but at least he didn’t get the title a week later or something like that.

The Miller Lite Catfight Girls are here. I’m with Lance Storm: it’s nonsense that these two got time and the seven minute Tag Team Title match got stuck on Heat.

Nathan Jones was laid out earlier tonight.

Limp Bizkit plays Undertaker to the ring. Again, Tag Team Titles on Heat in a short match but time for this.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

A-Train messes with Undertaker’s bike on the way to the ring. If I had a dollar for every time a hairy chested man with nipple piercings adjusted the mirror on my motorcycle….well I’d be poor as I don’t have a motorcycle but the rest happens more often than you would think. Show tries a sneak attack but gets sent to the floor so Undertaker can chokeslam A-Train for two.

Undertaker actually leapfrogs A-Train and drops him with Old School as they’re certainly moving in the early going. A Derailer cuts Undertaker off and Show posts him for good measure. It’s off to Show whose chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara armbar. A-Train’s save is countered into a cross armbreaker so Show gets to make a save of his own. We hit an abdominal stretch as Cole wants to know if Undertaker’s stamina is going to hold up after such a long layoff due to injury. We’re four minutes into the match and Undertaker has been back from injury for almost TWO AND A HALF MONTHS Cole, you pathetic nitwit.

A-Train puts on an abdominal stretch of his own and Tazz shows how to do his job by suggesting things Undertaker should do to escape/relieve the pressure. I get that they have different jobs but at least Tazz is saying stuff that makes sense and doesn’t sound stupid. A-Train talks trash and throws some punches until Undertaker mostly misses the running DDT (he was barely touching A-Train).

Running corner clotheslines have the monsters in trouble until A-Train gets in the bicycle kick. Show hits his chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to kick Show’s head off. A-Train takes a big boot from Jones (because the referee doesn’t understand disqualifications) and the Tombstone is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Actually not a bad power match here as I can buy the idea of Undertaker holding his own against these two for eight minutes, especially after he’s shown he can beat them both on his own. The fact that Jones couldn’t even be trusted to wait for people to run into his kicks is incredibly telling and pretty much spells the end of his career.

The Catfight Girls meet Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson, who are standing around looking at Torrie’s Playboy. As various gorgeous women just do. Stacy has a new marketing campaign idea for them and they all leave together.

We take a quick look at the Tag Team Title match from Heat. Add this to the stuff that could have been cut in exchange of just airing the match.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria vs. Jazz

Victoria is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Jazz jumps the champ from behind to start fast and it’s already time for a modified Muta Lock on Trish. Trish gets knocked outside as Lawler thinks this should turn into a love triangle. Back in and Victoria hits her slingshot legdrop for two on Trish but has to powerslam Jazz for two.

It’s back to Trish as JR tries to figure out why King called her a quarter among pennies. A sitout powerslam gives Jazz two on Trish but it’s time for a fight with her fellow villain. Jazz kicks Victoria down but gets rolled up for two, followed by the Chick Kick for the same. Victoria gets sent outside, leaving Trish to get caught in the STF.

With Victoria distracting the referee, Richards breaks up the hold so Victoria and Trish can trade rollups (with Victoria’s tights being pulled rather low) for two each. Jazz gets knocked outside, leaving Richards to swing a chair but hit the top rope and knock it back into his own head. The Chick Kick to Victoria gives Trish the title back at 7:18.

Rating: C. Not bad at all here as they kept things tight and had everyone moving the entire time, including Richards with the chair to his own head. It made Trish look like the one who survived until the end, though at some point she’s going to have to beat Jazz. You can do that later though as this was all about getting her the title and I’d prefer her to pin the champ than the other challenger.

Rock doesn’t want to hear about the people because they’ve been booing him and calling him a sellout. It’s true that he’s a sellout because he sells out every Wrestlemania he’s in. Rock has lost to Austin twice at Wrestlemania but Hollywood has taught him that the third act is all that matters.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. Team Angle

Team Angle is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. The challenging team both beat on a champ until it settles down to Chavo vs. Haas. A dropkick puts Charlie down and it’s off to Benoit, who runs into an armdrag from Guerrero. Eddie comes in with the slingshot hilo but they ram heads for a double knockdown.

Benoit brings Rhyno in to powerslam Eddie and it’s already off to Benjamin as they’re keeping the pace fast here. A double dropkick gets two on Rhyno but Haas gets taken into the Rhyno corner for a double stomping. Eddie stomps on Rhyno and gets taken into the same corner that Haas got caught in. Benoit catches Eddie on the top with a superplex for two as Benjamin makes the save.

That’s fine with Chris who throws Eddie into the air and pulls him down into the Crossface for a sweet move but Haas makes a save this time. Chavo and Haas come in and everything breaks down. The rolling German suplexes have Chavo in trouble but Benoit walks into a superkick from Benjamin. A legdrop gets two with Eddie dropping a frog splash for the save. Haas suplexes Chavo but turns into the Gore. Chavo eats one as well, only to have Benjamin steal the pin to retain the titles at 8:46.

Rating: B-. I don’t remember liking this one this much but they didn’t stop for the entire match. Benoit and Rhyno are still an odd choice for a tag team but it wouldn’t surprise me if they were setting up for Benoit and Edge in this spot before he got hurt. Team Angle needed this win and that’s the right call out of the three options.

Torrie and Stacy get in a fight over whether Vince or Hulk created Wrestlemania. The Catfight Girls do the same (though one of them keeps calling him Holgan) and agree to settle this in bed.

King is mesmerized.

We recap Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. Chris seems jealous that Shawn is back and getting attention. He’s wanted to be the next Shawn Michaels but now he wants to be the first Chris Jericho by defeating Shawn at Wrestlemania. This has been a long build but they’ve been smart to wait until here for the match. Shawn accepted the challenge with a superkick and telling Jericho that he would see him at Wrestlemania in a moment I always liked.

Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn tries to fire some confetti cannons on the way to the ring but some of them fail to go off, prompting an “eh what are you going to do” look. Jericho on the other hand just looks down at him in disdain in the perfect response. Some early armdrags frustrate Jericho so Shawn lounges on the top rope.

Back up and Shawn kicks him away without too much effort as they’re still firmly in first gear. Jericho is ready for a leapfrog and slaps Shawn in the face, earning himself a right hand to the jaw and a trip to the floor. Back in and Jericho scores with a spinwheel kick but a bulldog is countered with a good crotching. We hit a random Figure Four but Jericho reverses pretty quickly.

They head outside again with Shawn hitting a nice plancha, only to get caught in the Walls in the aisle. The bad back is sent into the post as Jericho has a big target to work with now. Back in and Jericho yells about how he’s better than Shawn as he stays on the back in a variety of ways. We hit the chinlock with a knee in the back before Shawn grabs a DDT to get him out of trouble.

Jericho nips up and hits the forearm into Shawn’s pose, which you just don’t do at Wrestlemania. Shawn makes his comeback (with two nipups of his own) and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence (as required by a classic like this) for a couple of twos each. Jericho is Lionsault for two more before countering a hurricanrana into the Walls. Shawn grabs the rope so Jericho elbows him in the jaw and tunes up the band.

Sweet Chin Music puts Shawn down for two and the fans seemed to buy that as the finish. Shawn teases the Walls but goes with a catapult into the post for two instead. It’s Jericho up first with a belly to back superplex but Shawn reverses into a crossbody in mid-air for yet another near fall.

The top rope elbow gets the same but the real Sweet Chin Music is countered into the Walls again. Just like last time, Shawn grabs the ropes though this time he follows up with more Chin Music for a very delayed two. Both guys are spent so Jericho grabs a belly to back suplex, only to have Shawn flip over and grab a rollup with his legs for the pin at 22:31.

Rating: A. Oh come on like this one needs an explanation. These two were both on fire here and just had an awesome match. It’s the match that made it clear Shawn had more than just a few performances in him as he felt a lot more like the older version here, which is exactly what the match needed to be. Jericho being able to do every athletic thing Shawn could do but not be able to outsmart him is a perfect story in a similar vein to Shawn vs. Shelton Benjamin a few years later. Great match here and one of the best Shawn had in his comeback.

They hug post match but Jericho kicks him low like the heel he is.

The evil referee from Montreal goes to see Vince.

The new attendance record is announced.

Limp Bizkit takes their sweet time performing Crack Addict.

Here are the Catfight Girls to fight on a bed set up on stage. Cue Stacy and Torrie to join in. Girls are stripped, pillows are swung and Coach is pantsed and pinned. Again, World Tag Team Titles not on the show but these girls get like four segments.

We recap HHH vs. Booker T. which focuses on Booker’s criminal past. That’s firmly established before the “someone like you doesn’t deserve to be World Champion” line is made. It’s a better way to go about it but there’s no good way to spin that statement. Basically Booker is fighting for his one big moment and HHH is defending because….well because it’s Wrestlemania and what else is he supposed to do?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T.

HHH is defending and comes out first for some reason. JR talks about Booker becoming a five time WCW Champion so King says that place was a joke. JR: “How long did you work there?” King: “Never.” JR: “Well I did.” King: “Was it a joke?” JR: “D*** right.” A hard lockup takes them into the corner where they trade chops and some right hands. Booker charges into a boot to the face and HHH goes up top, only to get armdragged down. You would think Flair would have taught him better but if Ric never learned, HHH didn’t need to either.

The announcers bicker over whether or not Booker was born on a pool table which turns into a discussion of Fink being drunk last night. Booker gets sent outside and goes into the steps as the pace slows a lot (yes, in a HHH match). A neckbreaker gets two on Booker and a spinebuster gets the same.

Booker slips out of a suplex and grabs a DDT for his first offense in a long time. The jumping knee and a facebuster cut Booker off but he comes back with a spinebuster. HHH goes up again for some reason and dives into a boot to the face. Seriously they never learn. The scissors kick only hits ropes and Booker falls out to the floor as he was getting dangerously close to beating up HHH and that must be stopped.

Flair sends Booker’s knee into the steps and it’s time for an Indian Deathlock back inside as we flash back to 1974. Back up and the knee is done but Booker grabs a sunset flip for a fast two. A jumping elbow to the jaw puts HHH down again and there’s the ax kick for no cover.

Flair’s distraction has no effect as Booker hits the Houston Hangover, which thankfully isn’t followed up on because the knee gives out again. They stagger to their feet with Booker’s knee preventing him from trying another ax kick. Instead it’s the Pedigree, the completely ridiculous 24 second wait, and then the pin with one hand over Booker’s chest to retain the title at 18:44.

Rating: C+. And there goes Booker’s main event career for the next few years. Aside from being a somewhat boring match, that ending is unforgivable. There’s no reason to not give Booker the title here, even if it’s just until Backlash. The leg stuff at the end was better but this was WAY too much HHH with Booker only having a few hope spots here and there. He didn’t even get the big two count at any point. This was all about HHH establishing that he is the one and only star on Raw no matter what and that’s a major problem. Booker needed this win, or at least anything other than a clean loss.

Long recap of Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon for the show’s real main event. Basically Vince suddenly decided that he hated Hogan for leaving the company ten years ago and testifying against him in the steroids trial so they had to have a fight. This was suddenly elevated to the biggest match of all time despite there not really being a clear reason why Vince started hating Hogan in the first place. If it was mentioned at the start, it was completely bogged down in all the mess that followed. This is at worst the second biggest match on the show and while not surprising, that’s probably not the best idea in the world.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

Street fight and if Hogan loses, he has to retire. Hogan “spears” Vince down because that’s the kind of thing Hogan is known to do. Some slow motion (expect to hear that a lot in this one) right hands have Vince in trouble and Hulk stomps him in the corner. A clothesline gives Vince a breather and he throws those awkward punches. Now it’s off to an armbar because that’s what you want to see from these two in a street fight.

Hogan fights out of the test of strength but Vince is smart enough to kick him in the gut. That’s so effective that they do it three straight times before Vince sends him outside. Hogan gets posted but still manages to avoid a chair shot. Instead it’s Hulk chairing Vince in the head and of course we’ve got some blood (you knew that was coming and you know it’s coming from Hulk too).

More chair shots have Vince reeling, though not enough to knock him out, because Vince is more manly than your average wrestler. Another chair shot hits the Spanish announcer in the head because this match needed additional casualties. Vince low blows him and gets in his own chair shot to draw Hogan’s blood as this is already dragging. And now…..it’s ladder time, which certainly picks things up a bit.

A monitor shot to the head puts Hogan on the table and Vince climbs up, puts his hand to his ear, and drops a leg (which doesn’t hit Hogan but it’s a great visual nonetheless) to destroy the table and freak the crowd out all over again. Vince throws Hogan inside and grabs a pipe from underneath the ring. In the visual of the match, Vince very slowly raises his bloody head over the apron and gives the kind of evil smile that only he can pull off. It’s a great shot too and makes up for a lot of this match.

Hogan hits him low to put both guys down….and here’s Roddy Piper, looking so out of shape that he makes Hogan look great. Piper teases hitting both of them before knocking Hogan out with the pipe (Why this is considered a surprise is beyond me. They’re mortal enemies whose feud was the reason for the first Wrestlemania main event. Why was him attacking Hogan ever in doubt?).

That’s only good for two so Vince beats up the referee, drawing out the evil referee from earlier in the night, along with a regular referee. Vince pipes Hogan again, giving us that flopping around like a fish selling. It’s Hulk Up time with Hulk beating up both Vince and the evil referee. The big boot and three legdrops finish Vince at 20:48.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen this match several times and it’s actually grown on me a lot. The expectations were through the floor coming in and it’s a pretty fun old people brawl. It’s dumb, goofy fun and while it’s WAY too long (you could easily cut eight minutes if not more), it’s one of those matches where you knew what you were getting and that’s exactly what was delivered. Vince’s complete over the top visuals made it even better. It’s not good of course but it’s fun, which is a lot more important for something like this.

Hogan poses as Shane comes out to check on his father. We get a staredown but Hogan seems to understand that he doesn’t have any issues with Shane.

You can already hear Cole’s voice giving out.

We recap Steve Austin vs. The Rock. This is ALL about Rock as Austin is on fumes and it’s not exactly a secret. Basically Rock is ticked off about being booed last year in Toronto and turned into the most amazing heel in the world as a result. The only thing he has left to do in his career is beat Austin at Wrestlemania and this is probably his last chance. This gets the music video treatment but it can only get so far when one person is doing 90% of the work in the feud (not really a criticism of Austin but Rock was just on another planet at this point).

Steve Austin vs. The Rock

Writing that one never gets old. The camera follows Austin from behind in a pretty unique shot which works quite well. They stare each other down to start with Austin hitting the first right hands. The threat of a Stunner sends Rock bailing to the floor so Austin beats him over the announcers’ table and whips him into the steps.

Back in and Austin chokes a bit (that’s somewhat out of character) and gets two off a suplex. Rock gets in a chop block to get a breather with Austin bailing out to the floor. The kicks to the leg have Austin staggering around and Rock wraps the leg around the post. We hit the Sharpshooter with Austin fighting to the ropes as you can really feel the lack of fire in this one.

It’s intense but it’s clear that Austin doesn’t have that high gear anymore. The leg is wrapped around the post again and Rock grabs Austin’s vest. That’s too much for Austin so it’s some bad punches and a double clothesline for another breather. The Thesz press and middle finger elbow get two as Austin is getting some fire going.

A Rock Bottom gives Austin two but Rock comes back with a Stunner. Austin grabs the real thing for two more but Rock cuts him off with a low blow. The vest comes off and the People’s Elbow gets two. The Rock Bottom gets the same, followed by two more to FINALLY put Austin away at 17:55.

Rating: B+. I know there were outside circumstances (Austin spent the previous night in the hospital due to drinking too much alcohol and caffeine) but this would have felt so much bigger as the main event. It’s a very good match and feels big at times but when you have the history that these two have, nothing is going to live up to that standard.

Austin not being able to keep up with Rock was a great way to show that Rock was the better man that night and even with the fire not as hot as before, Austin is still worth seeing at any point. This is another one that’s grown on me and while it might not be as great, it felt important, which is what matters most here.

After thanking Austin for what happened (not audibly but he’s since said that’s what was he was doing), Rock leaves Austin for the big hero’s sendoff. This wasn’t billed as Austin’s farewell but it turned out to be his retirement match. It would have been a great way to close the show, but I get the idea of not wanting that to be the case if Austin couldn’t go. It’s a bit of a disappointment but at least he got the big moment.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Kurt Angle. Brock got cheated out of the title at Survivor Series and has gone on a path of destruction to get it back, including winning the Royal Rumble. Angle has used every possible way out of facing him but tonight he’s out of escapes and has nothing left to do but fight. The fact that his neck is being held together by paperclips and duct tape is just a detail because Angle has a low level of sanity. This feels like a major showdown, which is all you can ask for out of the main event of Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar, with bad ribs, is challenging and can win the title via DQ or countout. Angle grabs a front facelock but Brock throws him off and we’re back to a standoff. Kurt’s headlock has about the same effect but he breaks up Brock’s armbar. Lesnar grabs a powerslam, only to get caught in the first German suplex. Brock pops right to his feet though, sending Angle bailing to the floor as they’re not laying into each other just yet.

Back in and a gorilla press (Tazz: “The vanilla gorilla!”) plants Angle, who cuts off a charge with a boot. A German suplex into the corner messes with the ribs again and it’s off to something like an STF from the side. Angle lets go of the legs and switches to something closer to a Bank Statement. Brock won’t tap so Angle suplexes him with ease. That earns him a spinebuster though, which Angle is crazy to take with such a bad neck.

Brock hits his own suplexes but Angle pops up and rolls some German suplexes of his own. Neither finisher can hit so Angle trips him into the ankle lock. Brock grabs the rope….which doesn’t count for no apparent reason. Instead Angle switches to a half crab, followed by a running knee to the back. Brock backdrops him to the floor, again because Angle is freaking nuts.

Back in and the Angle Slam gets two, which Cole says has never happened before. I find that very hard to believe. The F5 gets two more but Kurt gets the ankle lock with a grapevine. Brock manages to drag him over to the ropes for the break, followed by another F5. Instead of covering though, Brock heads up top.

In one of the scariest moments in wrestling history, Brock tries a shooting star press (apparently suggested by Johnny Ace) but leaves it short, landing square on his head and knocking himself completely silly. With his eyes glazed over, Brock hits a third F5 for the pin and the title at 21:09.

Rating: A-. This started off rather slowly but then picked up the pace to become one heck of a hard hitting fight. Angle did everything he could with all the suplexes and left it all in the ring in what might have been his last match. Lesnar did everything he needed to do (save for hitting that shooting star) and if he had nailed the finish, this would go up several notches. It’s a great finish and the kind of main event that Smackdown should have put on at this point. Excellent match.

Lesnar is GONE as he tries to pull himself up.

A long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. The more I watch this show, the more I appreciate it. There’s nothing bad on the card with the worst match being either Undertaker vs. Big Show/A-Train or the street fight and even those are watchable. There’s also a great selection of top matches, though HHH vs. Booker leaves a lot to be desired. That being said, Jericho vs. Shawn, Rock vs. Austin and the main event are more than enough to make this a classic.

My main issue is still the same: the show could use a breather between all of the top matches. I could have gone for swapping in say the women’s triple threat or the Smackdown Tag Team Title match in between the street fight and Rock vs. Austin, just for the sake of a little breathing room. The way it’s done is more than fine though and it would only have been improved with a few tweaks.

Overall, it’s one of the best Wrestlemanias ever but I can’t put it above or really near the level of X7. There’s some great stuff here but it’s not enough to top everything that show has to offer. I could easily see this being the second best Wrestlemania of all time (it’s in the top three or four at the absolute worst) and that’s some pretty high levels of quality.

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Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

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Elimination Chamber 2026
Date: February 28, 2026
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett

It’s the last big stop on the Road To Wrestlemania and that should make for a good evening. As usual we have four matches, with two of them being the Elimination Chamber matches themselves. In addition it’s quite the Chicago flavor, with CM Punk and his wife AJ Lee both defending their titles. Let’s get to it.

The opening video, as aired last night on Smackdown, features CM Punk talking about growing up in Chicago and being used to pressure. That’s why he’s not scared by being inside the Chamber…though he’s not actually in the match.

Women’s Elimination Chamber: Asuka vs. Raquel Rodriguez vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Kiana James vs. Tiffany Stratton

Cole tells us that if you Google “superstar”, you’ll see Rhea Ripley. I see Molly Shannon and Will Ferrell but maybe I’m just doing it wrong. Kiana James is in at #1 and Tiffany Stratton is in at #2 and we have five minute intervals. Feeling out process to start with James offering a test of strength, which commentary thinks is a bad idea for Stratton.

That is indeed the case as James takes over and they go out to the floor, where James is sent against a pod. The handspring elbow misses for Stratton though and Rodriguez cracks up in laughter. Asuka is in at #3 but James spears her in the pod. That’s shrugged off and Asuka comes out of the pod to ram the other two into the walls. Asuka hits a high crossbody and the clothesline/bulldog sequence, ala Raven.

The clock speeds WAY up with the second entrance in about seven minutes as Bliss is in at #4. That means the pace can pick up a bit with Bliss cleaning house as James catapults Stratton into the pod. The fast clocks (I must have missed some announcement on the intervals because there is no way they could trim them down this much and expect people to buy five minutes) continue as Ripley is in at #5. Ripley and Bliss fight over some standing switches as Bliss can’t quite pick up the much bigger Ripley, which isn’t surprising.

The other three get back up so Bliss climbs the pod and flip dives onto all of them. James avoids most of it and fights back, only to get caught in Sister Abigail. Asuka breaks that up with the mist though and James pins Bliss at 13:13. Rodriguez is in at #6 to complete the field and swings Stratton into the Chamber wall. Rodriguez keeps beating people up on the floor, including swinging Ripley into the pod and tossing Stratton in as well. A running powerslam sends James through the pod, followed a Tejana Bomb to Asuka to give Rodriguez the double pin at 16:39.

We’re down to Ripley vs. Rodriguez vs. Stratton, with Stratton getting tossed down again. Rodriguez and Ripley fight on the Chamber floor, with Ripley getting her legs tied in the wall. That leaves Stratton to get beaten up again, with Rodriguez taking her up onto the top but Ripley gets on a pod for a flip dive. That bangs up Ripley’s already bad back but Stratton hits the Prettiest Moonsault Ever to eliminate Rodriguez at 20:13.

Stratton goes right after Ripley with an Alabama Slam getting two. The Swanton misses though and Ripley kicks her in the head, setting up an electric chair faceplant for two. Stratton is right back with a shot of her own and goes up top, only to get shoved face first into the pod in a great looking crash. That’s enough for Riptide to finish for Ripley at 23:15.

Rating: B-. Good enough stuff here, though they had the advantage of a pretty wide open field. There was a legitimate case to have Stratton, Ripley or Rodriguez win, with Bliss as a wildcard option. That’s a good place to be and Rodriguez got in quite the run of her own. Nice match here, with Ripley vs. Cargill sounding rather interesting indeed.

We recap Becky Lynch defending the Women’s Intercontinental Title against AJ Lee. Last year, Lee returned and beat Lynch at Wrestlepalooza, which has Lee wanting a singles match. Lynch is going insane as a result because she doesn’t think Lee deserves this but thinks Lee could beat her. This has led to Lee getting way under Lynch’s skin, including getting the match.

Women’s Intercontinental Title: Becky Lynch vs. AJ Lee

Lynch is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. An early shoulder puts Lee down and she has to forearm her way out of a headlock. Lee fights up and knocks her to the floor, meaning it’s time for some skipping. Back in and a ticked off Lynch knocks her down and hammers away as commentary keeps bringing up how Lee hasn’t wrestled a singles match in over ten years.

Lynch slows things down and starts shoving Lee’s head into the mat and screaming at her, with a forearm cutting off Lee’s comeback. Lee kicks her out of the corner and a Shining Wizard gets two. Lynch counters the Black Widow though and takes her up top for a superplex. The cross armbreaker is countered with a kick to the head to give Lee two but a turnbuckle pad comes off. Lynch rams Lee into the referee in the corner but gets two anyway, only to accidentally kick the referee in the head.

The Black Widow makes Lynch tap but there’s no referee. With the hold broken, Lynch fights back and takes her to the floor, where she grabs a chair. Lee takes it away but gets DDTed onto the chair, setting up the Manhandle Slam for two. Lynch yells at the referee but she isn’t having it this time and yells back before counting Lee’s rollup for two more. Back up and Lee sends her into the exposed buckle, setting up the Black Widow for the tap and the title at 15:23.

Rating: B-. Another good match here, with Lynch getting in quite the performance as she was doing a lot of the hard work here. That isn’t surprising as Lee was rusty in the ring in general and especially in singles matches. Lee winning the title almost had to happen at some point and now there are several options for her opponents, including a rematch with Lynch. It’s no great match, but it was good enough.

R-Truth and the General Managers are at the crate and we find out what’s in the box. Well, meaning the pizza box that R-Truth is carrying as this turns into a Papa John’s commercial. More on this later.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Finn Balor

Punk is defending after beating Balor in Balor’s hometown a few weeks ago on Raw. Just to Chicago it up that much more, Punk comes to the ring to the same entrance the Chicago Bulls use to take the court (Sirius by the Alan Parsons Project. Make your own Ricky Steamboat jokes.), complete with the Bulls’ PA announcer doing his entrance.

They start slowly with Balor hitting a running shoulder, only to be knocked back down. A kick to the back and knee drop give Punk one and he rains down some right hands in the corner. Balor fights out and chops away before starting to go after the ribs. That means an abdominal stretch with an elbow in the ribs to keep Punk in trouble. That’s broken up and they head outside, with Punk sending him into the announcers’ table.

Back in and Balor goes back to the ribs but has to counter a GTS into a small package for two. The swinging neckbreaker gives Punk two and he needs a breather. Punk fights up and fires off some more kicks, even as his mouth seems to be busted open. A top rope elbow gives Punk two and Balor’s crucifix counter gets the same. There’s the Sling Blade to drop Punk again but the running dropkick is cut off.

Balor puts Punk back down though and the Coup de Grace to the bad ribs gets two. Balor fights back and tries I believe another Sling Blade, only to get GTS’d out to the floor. Punk goes after him and gets knocked hard through the barricade. Back in and another Sling Blade hits Punk so Balor loads up the Coup de Grace. This time Punk gets a leg up and reverses into a Sharpshooter, sending Balor over to the rope. Punk is frustrated but grabs the GTS to retain at 20:25.

Rating: B+. These two were in a tough spot as there was almost no reason to believe that Balor was going to win here but they put on a heck of a match anyway. It was a hard hitting fight and I was wondering what was going to happen with any interference, but thankfully it didn’t happen. Pretty awesome match here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Post match Balor gets up and shakes Punk’s hand before leaving in peace. AJ Lee comes out for the double champion celebration.

In the arena, the General Managers open the crate and find….a coffin. Which opens to reveal….yeah it’s Danhausen, complete with a group of cheerleaderhausens. He has his own theme song which keeps saying his name and repeating “YOU ARE CURSED”. Danhausen gives Cole a jar of teeth, gets in the ring, pyro goes off, and that’s it.

Men’s Elimination Chamber: Trick Williams vs. LA Knight vs. Je’Von Evans vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Logan Paul vs. Randy Orton

For the shot against Drew McIntyre at Wrestlemania. Evans is in at #1 and Rhodes is in at #2 to get us going. After showing some respect, Rhodes grabs a delayed suplex for two, only to get rolled up for the same. A running knee drops Rhodes for two more but he throws Evans over the top for a crash. Back in and Rhodes stomps him down but Evans knees his way out of another suplex. They trade right hands and it’s Trick Williams in at #3.

A flapjack on the steel drops Rhodes but Evans is back up with the OG Cutter. That’s blocked as well and Rhodes is knocked down again, giving Williams two each. Evans is up to chop Williams against the wall and it’s Paul in at #4. That earns him a triple teaming, with Paul being sent hard into a pod. Rhodes goes after Evans and they slug it out again. Paul is back up to go after Evans before choking Williams on the floor. Knight is in at #5 and goes right after Paul in the corner.

The jumping neckbreaker puts Williams down and it’s time to climb the pod. Paul, Knight and Evans all go up top, with Paul being thrown down onto Rhodes and Williams. A BFT drops Evans onto the pod and it’s Orton in at #6, giving us a rare instance of all six being active at once. The double hanging DDT drops Paul and Williams but Knight blocks the RKO.

Evans is back up on the pod though and gives Williams a frog splash. Paul be back up with the Paulverizer though and Evans is out at 15:59. Knight plants Rhodes down for…well eventually two as it takes him a bit to get Rhodes’ shoulders down. Knight loads up the top rope elbow on Orton but slips down, instead settling for a regular jumping elbow (that’s a bad stretch).

The BFT drops Williams but Paul hits Knight low for the rollup elimination at 18:34. Williams kicks Rhodes down and flips away from Paul, only to get caught with Cross Rhodes. Paul sends Rhodes into the post and steals the pin on Williams (that’s completely in line for him) at 20:17.

The Chamber is open to get Williams out…and the Masked Man is back. Security immediately grabs him and Adam Pearce unmasks him as….just another random guy (different from the one on Smackdown). Williams is taken out but ANOTHER Masked Man gets inside and kicks Paul down, setting up a Stomp. The Masked Man leaves and Rhodes gets the pin on Paul at 22:30.

And he unmasks as…..SETH ROLLINS and there’s a big time Wrestlemania match. Heyman: “NO! NO!” We’re down to Orton and Rhodes but here is McIntyre to miss a Claymore on Rhodes. An RKO and Cross Rhodes get rid of McIntyre but another RKO finishes Rhodes for the win at 24:56.

Rating: B. They had a lot of things going on here at once and it still worked. Orton winning is a fine way to go as he’s kind of the “break glass in case of no one better being available” safe pick, though I’m not sure on Orton vs. McIntyre as a Wrestlemania title match. The interesting match still feels like Rhodes vs. Fatu vs. Zayn, though I’m not sure how you get to that match. For now though, good match with Rollins’ return probably being the biggest story.

Orton celebrates and pyro goes off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a show where all four matches felt like they could have been good and that’s pretty much what wound up happening. Even the weakest match was good and Balor vs. Punk felt like a big time showdown. We’re seven weeks away from Wrestlemania and most of the card seems to be clear, if not already set. That’s more than enough time to really turn this into a big time event and this was a good step there. Solid show, but it’s really the beginning of the big build to the most important show of the year.

Results
Rhea Ripley won the Women’s Elimination Chamber
AJ Lee b. Becky Lynch – Black Widow
CM Punk b. Finn Balor – GTS
Randy Orton won the Men’s Elimination Chamber

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2026
Date: January 31, 2026
Location: Riyadh Season Stadium At KAFD, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Wade Barrett,

We’re overseas for the show and that means it’s time for the Road To Wrestlemania to begin. I’m not sure what that is going to mean this year as the Rumbles are not feeling quite as important as years past. In addition though, Sami Zayn is challenging for the World Title and AJ Styles is facing Gunther in what might be Styles’ retirement match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is narrated by HHH and talks about how people can move up the ladder in one night. This is a decision and it means going to Wrestlemania.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Charlotte is in at #1 and, surprise, Alexa Bliss is in at #2. They start tentatively until Bliss teases Sister Abigail. With that out of the way, the two of them pose together until Kiana James is in at #3. James gets double teamed down, including a spike DDT, and it’s Nia Jax in at #4. Jax wrecks both of them and James adds a double splash for some yelling. Ivy Nile is in at #5 and gets to suplex some people but can’t pick Jax up.

Lola Vice is in at #6 and kicks away, followed by the running hip attack in the corner. Jax cuts that off and does her own hip shake but everyone goes after Jax on the ropes. Candice LeRae is in at #7 and tornado DDTs Charlotte before helping Jax. The pile breaks up and it’s Jordynne Grace in at #8. Grace tosses Vice, Nile and LeRae in a hurry but gets taken into the corner by Jax. The Stinkface is on before Jax goes after Charlotte and Bliss. The two of them put Jax on the apron and Charlotte boots Jax out but Bliss is pulled out too. Bliss is distraught and Becky Lynch is in at #9.

Charlotte and Lynch slug it out and Charlotte’s missed big boot almost gets her eliminated. They fight to the floor (not eliminated) but get back inside as Sol Ruca is in at #10. That gives us Charlotte, James, Grace, Lynch and Ruca. A springboard double clothesline drops Charlotte and Lynch, with the latter getting up for a standoff. Roxanne Perez is in at #11 and gets to clean some house before slapping it out with Lynch. Maxxine Dupri is in at #12 and gets to kick away, even taking the straps down. A step up Fameasser hits James but Dupri stops to glare at the entrance…..and then Natalya is in at #13.

Natalya and Dupri strike it out until Lynch tosses Dupri, only to get eliminated by Natalya in something of an upset. Liv Morgan is in at #14 and hits a quick Oblivion. Things slow down a bit and it’s Lash Legend in at #15 for her own house cleaning. At least she gets in a point to the sign and actually tosses Grace. Zelina Vega is in at #16 and picks up the pace a bit, only to get dropped by Legend.

Raquel Rodriguez is in at #17, meaning all three women in the Judgment Day are now active. James is sent to the apron, with Perez and Morgan offering a distraction. Rodriguez adds a big boot for the elimination but the trio saves Charlotte for some reason. Chelsea Green is in at #18 and tries to team up with the Judgment Day. Alba Fyre (not an entrant) runs in for the save and is quickly clotheslined out. That leaves Green to get dropped on the top rope and Giulia is in at #19.

Green is sent over the top but lands on Fyre’s back, allowing Fyre to crawl her to safety. Iyo Sky is in at #20, giving us Charlotte, Ruca, Perez, Natalya, Morgan, Legend, Vega, Rodriguez, Green, Giulia and Sky. Asuka is in at #21 and takes her sweet time getting inside before teaming with Giulia to go after Sky. That doesn’t work as Asuka kicks Giulia by mistake and it’s Rhea Ripley in at #22.

Giulia gets rid of Vega and Ripley knocks out Green (and Fyre, again) before blocking Pop Rox. Perez is tossed with a Razor’s Edge and Bayley is in at #23. She trips Ruca up on the apron but Ruca does a handstand and then pulls herself up by the feet in a nice save. Bayley and Charlotte chop it out until NXT Women’s Champion Jacy Jayne is in at #24. Jayne gets in more wrecking than most and Morgan eliminates Natalya. Nikki Bella is in at #25 to quite the reaction, with Cole explaining that she’s a part of pop culture.

Lyra Valkyria is in at #26 and kicks Morgan in the head before helping Bayley get rid of Giulia. Kelani Jordan (NXT) is in at #27 and hits a quick phoenix splash. Kairi Sane is in at #28 as the ring is WAY too full. Asuka has to grab Sane’s arms to save herself (with some painful looking contorting) but Sky knocks Sane into Asuka for the elimination. Sky knocks Sane out as well and it’s Brie Bella in at #29.

The kicks are fired off and Daniel Bryan is once again the most popular star in WWE. Tiffany Stratton is in at #30, giving us Charlotte, Ruca, Morgan, Legend, Nikki, Brie, Jayne, Jordan, Legend, Sky, Ripley, Stratton, Bayley, Rodriguez and Valkyria (I think). The Bellas send Rodriguez into the corner and we get a staredown with Bayley and Valkyria. Double hurricanranas get rid of Valkyria and Bayley to get us down to twelve. Jayne kicks Jordan out but gets caught with the Sol Snatcher so Ruca can dump her out as well.

Legend dumps both Bellas at once, with the fans NOT being pleased. Charlotte and Legend chop it out on the apron and Legend boots her out for quite the upset. We’re down to Sky, Ripley, Rodriguez, Morgan, Legend, Stratton and Ruca. Legend and Sky both go over but wind up on the apron, where Sky grabs a leglock of all things. One heck of a boot to the face gets rid of Sky and we’re down to six.

Ripley stares Legend down and they get in a slugout, with Legend actually kicking her to the mat. Rodriguez gets up for the staredown with Legend and knocks her into the ropes, where Ripley gets the big elimination (with Legend getting a huge pop). Rodriguez hits a SCARY Tejana Bomb to send Ripley onto the apron (cringe) for the elimination and Morgan dumps Rodriguez in quite the mean move.

We’re down to Stratton, Ruca and Morgan with Stratton hitting Morgan with the Prettiest Moonsault Ever. Morgan pops up to try Oblivion but Ruca gives them both a Sol Snatcher. They all crash over the top but manage a triple skinning the cat (cool) and land on the apron. The Sol Snatcher doesn’t work for Ruca and she’s out, followed by an Oblivion to give Morgan the win at 1:06:13.

Rating: B. This started really boring and then picked WAY up around Jordynne Grace’s entry. It got a lot better with a lot of hard work (albeit with some laying around, as is always the case) and I like Morgan getting the win. At some point you have to go there as she’s finished in second place time after time. Legend got the Diesel style run of smashing through a lot of people and that’s a very bright sign for her future. I was into this way more than I expected to be by the end so it was a nice job all around.

Post match the referee has to remind Morgan to point at the sign….and dang that looks like a lot of empty seats. I’m hoping that’s just a trick of the light or something because otherwise, dang that’s terrible.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Gunther. The idea is Styles is planning to retire this year, but Gunther cheated him out of a recent win. Therefore, Styles is putting his career on the line here against the man who has finished off Goldberg and John Cena in the last year.

AJ Styles vs. Gunther

Styles grabs a headlock to start and that goes absolutely nowhere. Some shots to the leg don’t slow Gunther down as he grabs his own headlock to grind away. A big boot puts Styles on the floor and Gunther sends him hard into the announcers’ table. Styles’ looks to be cut open and more chops have him in more trouble.

The Pele Kick puts Gunther down though and Styles’ fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two. One heck of a clothesline cuts Styles off again for two and Gunther blocks a Calf Crusher. The powerbomb gets two but Styles is back with the Calf Crusher in the middle of the ring. This time it’s countered with the sleeper but Styles reverses into one of his own. Gunther gets out to the floor and that means the slingshot forearm to put him down again.

Back in and the springboard 450 sets up the Styles Clash for two and Styles is stunned. They get back up and Gunther kicks him low, setting up the powerbomb for two. Gunther chops the living daylights out of him in the corner and Styles even goes down, only to pull himself up. Styles strikes away but gets pulled into the sleeper. He fights up and gets close…until he’s out and Gunther wins at 24:04.

Rating: B. Well, it’s interesting to see Gunther actually make someone retire, as the previous two instances were both him pinning someone who had already announced they were done anyway. It’s another case of Gunther calling his shot and then doing it, which is a good way to go, though I’m not sure what is next for him. You can only retire so many people before it needs to get you somewhere, and I don’t know where that goes. At least Gunther feels like a big villain though, and Styles got to go out with a good enough match.

Post match Styles gets the big sendoff of respect. He teases taking the gloves off but puts them back on for the pose instead.

Smackdown World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn

McIntyre is defending and catches an early kick to the ribs. That means Zayn is shoved down and slowly stomped but manages to send McIntyre outside. The dive connects but Zayn bangs up his back, meaning McIntyre has an opening. Back in and McIntyre slowly starts working on the back, including taking Zayn up top.

That lets Zayn hit a sunset bomb to take McIntyre down but he can’t hit the Blue Thunder Bomb. Said Blue Thunder Bomb connects for two a few seconds later and McIntyre misses the Claymore. The super Air Raid Crash gets two so McIntyre grabs three straight Futureshocks for two.

Back up and Zayn misses a desperation Helluva Kick and gets Claymored for two more. The Helluva Kick does connect for a rather near fall, mainly due to the back giving out. They head outside with McIntyre dropping him onto the announcers’ table to wear the back out even more. Back in and Zayn somehow pulls himself up for a Helluva Kick, only to walk into a Claymore. One more Claymore retains the title at 16:09.

Rating: C+. I really wasn’t feeling this one as even Zayn’s hope spots didn’t feel huge. They just kind of came and went without much going on. The Helluva Kick got a decent near fall, but then McIntyre just beat him clean. I’m not saying Zayn should have won the title here, but I was hoping for something closer to Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy from 2008 rather than…this. It’s not a terrible match, though it certainly wasn’t living up to the hype.

Earlier today, Paul Heyman yelled at Adam Pearce for Bron Breakker being #2 in the Royal Rumble.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Oba Femi is in at #1 and Bron Breakker is in at #2. Hold on though as a hooded man jumps Breakker and gives him a Stomp on the floor. Breakker is sent inside and clotheslined out in about three seconds as the hooded man leaves. Solo Sikoa is in at #3 and Femi jumps him to start fast. The running uppercut connects in the corner but Femi is sent shoulder first into the post.

Rey Mysterio is in at #4 and can’t give Sikoa an early 619. Instead Femi boots Sikoa down with Mysterio crashing as well and Rusev is in at #5. Some dropkicks stagger Femi but Mysterio cuts him off. Femi knocks Rusev out and shrugs off a 619 before knocking Mysterio out. Matt Cardona is in at #6 and is out just as fast. Damian Priest is in at #7 and hits a running shoulder, only for Femi to knock him down. A superkick puts Femi into the corner, where he pulls Priest out of the air. Some spinning kicks rock Femi and a clothesline puts him down as Je’Von Evans is in at #8.

Evans’ OG Cutter is blocked by Femi but he’s back to kick Priest down. Mr. Iguana is in at #9 and takes Evans down, including some shots from the stuffed iguana. An enziguri just annoys Femi and Priest chokeslams Iguana and the iguana. Trick Williams is in at #10, giving us Femi, Priest, Evans, Iguana and Williams, the latter of whom eliminated Iguana/iguana.

The four in the ring pair off and it’s Cody Rhodes in at #11. House is quickly cleaned, including the Cody Cutter, and El Grande Americano is in at #12. The loaded mask takes Evans down….and the ORIGINAL El Grande Americano is in at #13. They do the staredown with Original tossing out the replacement and Williams dumping the Original. Rhodes gets rid of Williams and POWERHOUSE HOBBS…..whose name graphic changes to ROYCE KEYS is in at #14.

Keys gets rid of Priest almost immediately tosses Priest out for quite the debut. Austin Theory is in at #15 and starts slugging away, with Bronson Reed in at #16 to give him some backup. Ilja Dragunov is in at #17 and goes after Rhodes without getting very far. La Parka of all people is in at #18 and Cole reveals the result of a match he’s in which hasn’t aired yet so thanks for the spoiler. Dragon Lee is in at #19 and adds another body to the rapidly filling ring.

With nothing else going on, Logan Paul is in at #20, giving us Femi, Evans, Rhodes, Keys, Theory, Reed, Dragunov, Parka, Lee and Paul. The Vision gets together to toss Keys, Lee and Parka until LA Knight is in at #21. The Vision jumps him but Knight manages to get rid of Theory, followed by a BFT and clothesline to eliminate Reed. Brock Lesnar, with Paul Heyman, is in at #22 and it’s Suplex City time. Femi is the only one left standing…and Miz is in at #23.

More suplexes abound and Dragunov is out, leaving us with Femi vs. Lesnar again. They stare at each other some more until Rey Fenix is in at #24. Lesnar suplexes Femi and tosses Fenix before telling Femi to bring it again. Femi goes after Paul and gets tossed by Lesnar (no shame there), leaving Paul to get suplexed. Jey Uso is in at #25…and Rhodes and Knight toss Lesnar out. Huh. Uso comes in, hits a superkick, runs it back, and gets cut off by Roman Reigns being in at #26.

That means Uso tries to run it back AGAIN, thankfully earning himself a punch to the face. Reigns fires off the Superman Punches and spears Miz, followed by the elimination. Rhodes and Reigns have their big staredown and Jacob Fatu is in at #27. Rhodes teases a dive but gets punched in the face and beaten up on the floor before both of them get inside. Fatu gets punched down and Reigns/Uso give Rhodes a 1D.

Penta is in at #28 and kicks at Fatu but gets powerslammed by Knight. Rhodes Disaster Kicks Knight out and it’s Randy Orton in at #29. The snap powerslam hits Uso and the fans sing Orton’s song. The double hanging DDT drops Penta and Uso, followed by an RKO to Paul and Penta. The clock ticks down and it’s Gunther in at #30 to annoy the crowd all over again, though he does at least limp to the ring. That gives us a final grouping of Evans, Rhodes, Paul, Uso, Reigns, Fatu, Penta, Orton and Gunther.

Evans kicks away at Orton and dives into the RKO for the elimination. Penta does his handstand in the corner and gets tossed out by Gunther. That earns Gunther an RKO and it’s time for Rhodes and Orton to double team him. The Cody Cutter accidentally hits Orton so Rhodes is set over the top….and Drew McIntyre runs in to Claymore him out. Fatu is tossed but Uso spears Reigns down.

The elimination is reversed though and Uso is out, leaving us with Reigns, Orton, Paul and Gunther. Reigns dumps Paul and Gunther dumps Orton to get us down to two. Reigns backdrops Gunther to the apron but he blocks the Superman Punch and comes back in for the sleeper. That’s broken up and it’s a spear to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at

Rating: B-. It was ok, but they didn’t exactly stick the landing. There was some good stuff in the beginning with Femi looking dominant and then some big names coming in, but once Lesnar got eliminated, it felt like the top stars were just tossed one after another without much going on. I liked some of the surprises (Knight, the other Americano, Keys) though and they teased some interesting stuff. The problem here really came down to no one being a favorite and Reigns getting the win almost in a “well, let’s just go with him” way. Not a terrible Rumble, but a decent sized letdown in the end.

Reigns celebrates for awhile to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like the “play it safe” Rumble, with the World Title match not meaning much, Gunther doing his same old (but good) stuff and Reigns getting back towards the main event scene. I do rather like Morgan winning though, as she has more than earned her spot at or near the top of the division. This wasn’t the worst Rumble by far, but it didn’t have anything you really need to see either. Hopefully they have something better for Wrestlemania though, because this level isn’t quite good enough for the biggest show of the year.

Results
Liv Morgan won the Women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Tiffany Stratton
Gunther b. AJ Styles – Sleeper
Drew McIntyre b. Sami Zayn – Claymore
Roman Reigns won the Men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Gunther

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2025
Date: February 1, 2025
Location: Lucas Oil Stadium, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 70,343
Commentators: Michael Cole, Wade Barrett, Pat McAfee

It’s time for the first ever February Royal Rumble and we’re in a stadium to make things even bigger. That makes things all the more interesting and the show definitely has a big time feeling. This will also mark John Cena’s final Royal so the stakes are even higher than usual. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the upper deck with the entrance on my right.

Various people advertised for the show did in fact show up.

Stephanie McMahon joins us for a special welcome and tells us just how big this show really is.

The opening video is, shockingly enough, narrated by Pat McAfee, who praises Indianapolis for its heart and grit and sports legacy, which is now getting in on the Royal Rumble. This switches into the usual “this is about going to Wrestlemania” and it just feels awesome. We even get a brief intro to the Royal Rumble concept, which is a smart idea for new fans.

Women’s Royal Rumble

2 minute intervals and Iyo Sky is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. This is also the debut of the AWESOME info graphics on the screen, which includes things like past winners, times, current people involved and what’s on the line etc. That is an OUTSTANDING addition, especially for a match this chaotic and gives it a “real sports feel”. Sky blocks an early Oblivion attempt and they fight up against the ropes to no avail. Roxanne Perez is in at #3 and manages to knock both of them down.

Lyra Valkyria is in at #4 (The graphics tell us that there are four active, zero eliminated and the next entrant will be #5. That is going to be VERY helpful when things get crazy and my goodness it’s awesome to see) and takes over on Perez but has to pause to fix her top. Morgan is smart enough to knock her down so the wardrobe can be fixed (with a referee running over to help). Chelsea Green is in at #5 to send Morgan to the apron and then points at the sign.

That earns her a big group beatdown and it’s B-Fab in at #6. Everyone goes up against the ropes to no avail and it’s Ivy Nile in at #7. Suplexes (and rhythmic YOU SUCK chants) ensue, including a double to Green and B-Fab. Zoey Stark is in at #8 and hits a top rope swinging neckbreaker to drop Perez. Morgan almost gets Green out but she hangs on despite a flurry of kicks.

Lash Legend is in at #9 and gets to clean house with the big power displays. Legend and B-Fab kick each other down at the same time and Green gets rid of B-Fab for the first elimination. Bianca Belair is in at #10, giving us a grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Valkyria, Green, Nile, Stark, Legend and Belair. That means Belair gets to show off for a bit until Shayna Baszler is in at #11. Baszler gets to take out some arms until Valkyria kicks her in the head. Nile tosses Valkyria as we continue the tradition of midcard champions having less than great luck in these things.

Bayley is in at #12 and cleans a bit of house before getting into a staredown with Sky. They seem to decide to work together until Sonya Deville is in at #13. The Pure Fusion Collective (Deville/Stark/Baszler in case you’re not one of the 18 people who don’t remember them) starts taking over but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Maxxine Dupri is in at #14 and gets stared down by the Collective, who are taken down as well. Dupri German suplexes Nile and actually kicks her out to quite the reaction. The celebration takes too long though and the Collective gets rid of Dupri.

Naomi is in at #15 and Blockbusters Green before slowing down a bit. The Collective is tossed out in a row and the ring is cleared WAY out in a hurry. Jaida Parker is in at #16 and gets in a Tear Drop in the corner to crush Green. Parker, Legend, Naomi and Belair have a four way staredown so Green tries to get involved, which goes as badly as you would expect. Legend kicks Parker in the face and gets tossed by Green, only to run into Belair and Naomi.

Piper Niven is in at #16 and Green wants her help, meaning hiding behind Niven, who slams Naomi. Niven accidentally knocks Green out though and it’s time to scream a lot. Natalya is in at #17 and drops Perez but can’t get her out. Jordynne Grace is in at #18 to quite the reaction and gets sent to the apron but manages to get back inside and knock Parker out. Grace Death Valley Drivers Niven to a heck of a reaction and it’s time to have a staredown with Naomi (they have a history in TNA).

Instead they hug and start beating people up until Michin is in at #20. That gives us a grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Niven, Natalya, Grace and Michin. Niven Piper Drivers Michin to knock her silly….and Alexa Bliss is back at #21 to a ROAR. This lets commentary get in a bunch of shots at dirt sheets, who swore that Bliss wasn’t going to be back. Bliss and Bayley have a big staredown and it’s Zelina Vega in at #22.

That means people can pair off again with little going on until Candice LeRae comes in at #23. Things slow down again and it’s Stephanie Vaquer in at #24 and feeling like she’s one of the biggest stars in the match the second she hits the ring. A springboard crossbody connects and the Devil’s Kiss makes it even better. Trish Stratus returns at #25 and gets to clean a bit of house before being knocked down.

Raquel Rodriguez is in at #26 and immediately helps her friend Morgan. That means a Codebreaker to get rid of Natalya, followed by another one to get rid of Bliss (the fans are NOT happy). Charlotte makes her big return at #27 (of course) and gets to clean house, including knocking out Michin. Charlotte manages to suplex Vaquer and Grace before dumping Niven (yep it’s happening) but gets dropped by Morgan and Rodriguez.

Giulia is in at #28 and headbutts Grace out as Nia Jax is in at #29. Jax immediately tosses Vega and LeRae is out too. Stratus slugs away at Jax, including the licking hand chop. Jax tosses her as well though and it’s Nikki Bella making the big return at #30. That gives us a final grouping of Sky, Morgan, Perez, Belair, Bayley, Naomi, Vaquer, Rodriguez, Charlotte, Giulia, Jax and Bella. Everyone gets together to go after Jax, who shoves them all away.

Vaquer has to hang on with her feet danging but Jax tosses Vaquer, Sky, Belair, Naomi, Rodriguez and Morgan in the span of about fifteen seconds. Bella hits a spear but can’t get rid of Giulia. Charlotte, Perez and Giulia fight on the apron with Perez knocking Giulia into the post for an elimination. Bella forearms Bayley out but gets tossed by Jax, leaving us with Charlotte, Jax and Perez. Charlotte and Perez go after Jax, who gets sent over the top and crashes out. A big boot is enough to get rid of Perez to give Charlotte the win at 1:10:16.

Rating: C. There were some fun moments in here, but this took WAY too long to really get going. There were a lot of times when there was nothing going on between the entrances and it was just sitting around waiting for the next big name to come in. Throw in the ridiculous “Jax eliminates a bunch of people” feeling like you’re having a battle royal with toys and it’s time to go to bed and this was a rough sit. It’s far from terrible, but rather dull and that’s not a great thing. Oh and well done Charlotte on coming back after over a year away and just beating the entire division in one match. That’s very nice of you.

Time to sign point!

Godfather, Mickie James and Kurt Angle are here.

We recap DIY vs. the Motor City Machine Guns. The Guns showed up and won the Tag Team Titles in their third match but DIY turned heel to cheat them out of the titles. Now it’s 2/3 falls for the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. DIY

The Guns are challenging in at 2/3 falls match. Ciampa and Sabin start things off with a Gargano distraction letting Ciampa grab an early Willow’s Bell for two. Gargano comes in to take over but Sabin knocks him away. Ciampa comes back in and gets kicked into the corner where….there is no tag but Gargano comes in anyway. Shelley goes after Gargano anyway and walks into a jumping knee from Ciampa for the first fall at 3:23 in a brilliant heel move.

The second fall starts with Shelley still in trouble and the champs taking turns beating him down. Shelley kicks his way out and goes over for a tag but Ciampa breaks it up in a great move. Back in and the tag does bring in Sabin but the referee doesn’t see it (that will always work). A Shatter Machine drops Shelley for two, who then cuts off the slingshot spear, allowing the tag to Sabin. Everything breaks down and Sabin hits a big springboard dive to take out the villains on the floor.

Back in and a tornado DDT drops Gargano, followed by Skull & Bones for the pin on Gargano at 9:09. Everything breaks down (again) and the Fairy Tale Ending/superkick combination gets two on Shelley. Sabin is back up with an assisted powerbomb/Sliced Bread combination for two on Ciampa, with Gargano shoving Sabin in for the save. Skull & Bones is loaded up but cue a masked man to distract the referee, allowing Angelo Dawkins to crutch Shelley in the back. Meet In The Middle retains the titles at 14:03 (as Gargano looks confused but he’ll take it).

Rating: B-. The action was good and I loved the ending to the first fall, but my goodness I felt bad for them out there. The fans just did not care and the match might as well have been a junior high dance recital. It was far from bad and the action was fine, but the ending was lame and the fans were just not interested whatsoever.

Post match Dawkins and the masked man (Angelo Dawkins of course) jump DIY.

We look at Pat McAfee’s NFL career in this building.

Some fans get special tickets.

Ron Simmons, Rick Steiner and Rob Van Dam are here.

We recap Cody Rhodes defending the Smackdown World Title against Kevin Owens. Rhodes teamed with Roman Reigns, which Owens saw as a betrayal after his war with Reigns and the Bloodline. Owens then attacked Randy Orton and put him on the shelf. Then Owens got cheated out of winning the title (allegedly) at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Owens then laid Rhodes out with a package piledriver and stole the Winged Eagle title. Therefore, it’s time for a ladder match for the title.

Smackdown World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Cody Rhodes

Owens is challenging in a ladder match and comes out wearing a “Canadian Dream, Son Of A Security Systems Technician” shirt because Owens is awesome. They start fast with the brawling and head outside, with Rhodes being sent into the ladder. Owens beats on him with a kendo stick and they fight into the crowd with Rhodes getting the better of things. They go back to ringside with Rhodes having to cut off a climb and sending Owens hard into the ladder.

Rhodes goes up but gets knocked down with a miniature ladder. Owens teases a splash off the mini ladder but gets back down, apparently not in the high risk business. Rhodes is up with the little ladder to the ribs, followed by a toss into the face. Rhodes drops him on the mini ladder and goes up, with Owens pulling him away to leave Rhodes hanging in the air. He gets back to the ladder but gets pulled down into a powerbomb for a hard crash.

They head outside with the big ladder being pulled out but Rhodes rips a rung off the bottom. That winds up going onto Rhodes’ head and Owens plants him again. The ladder is knocked down and turned on its side, where Owens loads up a package piledriver. Rhodes manages to avoid a bad case of death by countering into a backdrop and they’re both down. Back up and Owens sets up a bridged ladder but Rhodes catches him on top.

For some reason Rhodes tries a superplex and gets superplex onto the bridged ladder for the crazy landing. Cue a bunch of referees, plus Nick Aldis and Sami Zayn, to check on both of them. Owens is up first and goes after Rhodes, who sends him into the ladder to bust Owens open. Rhodes gets all fired up and they go outside, with Owens hitting him low for the save. Another package piledriver is loaded up but Rhodes reverses into the Alabama Slam through the bridged ladder. Owens is DONE and Rhodes retains the titles at 25:06.

Rating: B+ This felt like it was going to be a war and then that’s exactly what they delivered. These guys beat the living daylights out of each other and it felt like they were out for blood with the title just being a detail. That’s what makes a match feel great and they pulled it off here, with an absolute fight and one of the best matches Rhodes has ever had. Unfortunately this is the kind of match that ruined Owens’ neck over the years, but yeow it was entertaining in the process.

Rumble By The Numbers.

Men’s Royal Rumble

Two minute intervals with Rey Mysterio in at #1 and Penta in at #2. They stare at each other to start, with Penta doing CERO MIEDO. A running hurricanrana sends Penta to the apron but he gets back in with only one foot touching. They get back inside with Chad Gable in at #3 and suplexing Mysterio to the apron. The luchadors get together on Gable until Carmelo Hayes is in at #4. Hayes and Gable get together to fight back and take over until Santos Escobar is in at #5.

Escobar gives Mysterio a 619 but runs into Penta, who is quickly caught in a Canadian Destroyer. Mysterio is back up with a 619 to Escobar but can’t get him out. Everyone is down and it’s Otis in at #6 to clean house, but the Caterpillar is cut off by Gable’s ankle lock. One heck of a slap to the face rocks Gable, who manages a German suplex to Otis. Bron Breakker is in at #7 to quite the reaction.

The spear cuts Hayes in half and he’s out in a hurry, followed by the super Frankensteiner to Gable. Another spear hits Escobar and he’s out as well. Akira Tozawa is in at #8 but spends too much time posing and gets jumped by a departing Carmelo Hayes. Tozawa is taken to the back, where Triple H sends streamer IShowSpeed into the Rumble in his place, which is apparently something that he can just do. Speed actually eliminates Otis and then gets hit with a massive spear from Breakker. That’s it for Speed, even with Otis catching him on the way down.

Sheamus is in at #9 and forearms Gable and Breakker from the apron before he even gets inside. He does get inside and knocks Mysterio down as Jimmy Uso is in at #10. That gives us Mysterio, Penta, Gable, Breakker, Sheamus and Uso as the ring isn’t getting as clogged as it did in the women’s edition. Andrade is in at #11 and kicks away before going up top, where he is cut off by Penta.

Jacob Fatu is in at #12 and this is about to get violent. A double Samoan drop takes down Mysterio and Penta, with Gable, Mysterio and Andrade being tossed. Then it’s a Breakker vs. Fatu staredown, which has the fans rather interested. That’s broken up before anything can happen and it’s Ludwig Kaiser in at #13. And then he’s out in just a few seconds. Breakker manages to stay alive and Miz is in at #14.

Miz almost gets rid of Breakker but does manage to hit Penta with a super hurricanrana. Fatu shrugs off a kick to the head and counters Miz’s springboard (because Miz did a springboard) with a Samoan drop. TNA World Champion Joe Hendry is in at #15 and gives Miz the fall away slam. The Standing Ovation plants Miz again but Fatu runs Hendry over with a shoulder. And none of that matters as Roman Reigns is in at #16 and Miz and Sheamus are quickly out.

Hendry gets in a kick to the ribs but a single spear cuts him down and he’s out as well. Breakker is up with a spear to Reigns, though it’s way too early to dump him, as Reigns tosses Breakker instead. Uso is out as well and we get the Reigns vs. Fatu showdown. Reigns puts him down and Drew McIntyre is in at #17. McIntyre wins a slugout with Reigns and Fatu gets up to help with the stomping.

Finn Balor is in at #18 and gets taken down in the corner for a double teaming from Reigns and Penta of all people. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #19 and gets in a staredown with Penta. That doesn’t go anywhere as Penta hits a running step up Canadian Destroyer on Fatu. Balor throws Penta out and it’s Jey Uso in at #20, giving us Fatu, Reigns, McIntyre, Balor, Nakamura and Uso. Nakamura is quickly tossed by Uso but replaced as AJ Styles is in at #21.

Styles drops Uso and it’s a staredown with Fatu, who has done quite a few of those so far. A big backdrop takes Styles down and McIntyre helps hammer on him until Braun Strowman is in at #22 (who was recently taken out by Fatu in a big beatdown). Strowman goes right at it with Fatu and actually throws him out, leaving Fatu to freak out at ringside. Back in and Strowman gets jumped by McIntyre and it’s John Cena in at #23 to really send the fans into a frenzy.

Fatu keeps glaring as he leaves and low bridges Strowman out. Balor is AA’d out and Reigns gives McIntyre a spear, allowing him to stare at Cena. The fans are definitely into that but CM Punk is in at #24. They stare at each other and nothing happens as Seth Rollins is in at #25. Rollins immediately goes after Punk before trying to clothesline McIntyre out. Punk breaks that up by going after Rollins and it’s Dominik Mysterio in at #26. Reigns isn’t having any of his nonsense and hits a Samoan drop, followed by some choking in the corner.

Sami Zayn is in at #27 and Helluva Kicks Zayn before switching off to Punk. Damian Priest is in at #28 and chokeslams the heck out of Mysterio, which is enough for the elimination. LA Knight is in at #29 and jumps over Styles for the elbow to Cena. A neckbreaker takes Styles down and Knight slugs it out with Uso. Knight hits a belly to back slam to put Uso down before McIntyre tries to toss Zayn. Uso’s superkick puts Zayn out by mistake and Uso actually takes the blame.

Logan Paul is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Reigns, McIntyre, Uso, Styles, Cena, Punk, Rollins, Priest, Knight and Paul. The star power is certainly on display here. Priest knocks McIntyre out and Knight tries to get rid of Paul. Instead Paul jumps from the apron to the announcers’ table to save himself. Knight BFT’s Priest and throws him out, leaving us with eight.

Styles loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Paul pulls him down and gets rid of him, leaving us with Reigns, Uso, Cena, Punk, Rollins and Paul. Rollins is up with a superkick to Punk and the Superman Punch into the Stomp plants Cena. That leaves us with the big Reigns vs. Rollins showdown and they…shove each other a lot. Reigns tries to clothesline Rollins out but Punk is up to toss both of then.

Paul sneaks up and throws Punk out, leaving us with a three way staredown on the floor. Rollins Stomps Reigns on the floor and then brawls with Punk until they’re separated. That’s fine with Rollins, who Stomps Reigns onto the steps for a bonus. That leaves us with Cena, Paul and Uso, who we suddenly remember are in the match. The double AA is broken up and it’s a superkick to knock Paul off Cena’s shoulders, allowing Cena to knock him out. That leaves us with Cena and Uso for quite the final two.

They stare each other down and then slug it out with Cena firing off the running shoulders. The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Uso is back up with a superkick. The spear drops Cena again but he’s able to knock Uso out to the apron. Cena joins him on the apron and a superkick has him very staggered. The AA is escaped though and Uso slips back inside to shove Cena out for the upset win at 1:20:10.

Rating: A-. This was all about the star power and the drama, which went along with one of the biggest surprise winners in Rumble history. That’s a great way to make someone into a bigger star and Uso has certainly earned the chance. The segment with Punk and Rollins and Reigns and Cena was outstanding and pure drama, leaving me wondering about where everything was going to go. That’s on top of the pretty great opening part to the match, which built up so well. I had a great time with this match and the hour and twenty minutes flew by. Great Rumble.

Post match Cena shows respect and leaves Uso to celebrate on his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show was a better Women’s Royal Rumble away from being great, but as it is, it’s just rather good. As usual, the Royal Rumble is all about the show’s namesake shows and the men’s version is more than enough to carry the night. The women’s version brings it down, with the ladder match being more than enough to pick up some slack. It’s a rather good show, but dang it could have been that much better.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2024
Date: January 27, 2024
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Attendance: 48,044
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s time for the look back at last year’s show which set up one of the biggest WWE events of all time. This show is designed to set up the main events of WrestleMania LX and that means it is time for Roman Reigns to get a new challenger. Speaking of Reigns, he is defending the title in a four way match. Let’s get to it.

Today, various people scheduled for the show did in fact come to the show.

Hulk Hogan narrates a video about how important this area is to wrestling. You have to be RUMBLE READY because it is time to start the Road To Wrestlemania.

Earlier today: even more people came to work.

Pat McAfee comes out for commentary, with Corey Graves going on a hilarious rant about how much he hates this happening two years in a row.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Natalya is in at #1 and Naomi (in a surprise return) is in at #2. We get a handshake to start before Natalya takes her down, only to have the step over dropkick cut off. They hit stereo crossbodies and Bayley is in at #3. The Rear View puts Natalya down and Naomi drops Bayley, only to have them sit there so Natalya can hit a double basement dropkick (that looked awful). Candice LeRae is in at #4 and gets in a few shots to leave everyone down.

TNA Knockouts Champion Jordynne Grace is in at #5 and doesn’t get much of a reaction but she looks like a star. Grace cleans house and you can tell McAfee is impressed. We get a hug between Naomi and Grace (who beat Naomi to win the title) and the brawl is on. That doesn’t mean any eliminations yet though as Indi Hartwell is in at #6. LeRae and Hartwell team up as Cole says that we’ve never had two winners in a Royal Rumble, save for that time when we did.

Asuka is in at #7 and teams up with Bayley, who looks rather nervous. Hartwell and Asuka go to the apron with Bayley getting rid of Hartwell for the first elimination. Ivy Nile is in at #8 and impresses McAfee with her rather impressive strength. Katana Chance is in at #9 and anklescissors LeRae. Nile and Grace have a delayed suplex off before Nile hits a loud enziguri.

Bianca Belair is in at #10 and the place is rather impressed. We have Natalya, Naomi, Bayley, LeRae, Grace, Asuka, Nile, Chance and Belair, with the latter getting to clean some house, including a double Blockbuster to Bayley and Asuka. As usual, Belair gets to show off for a bit until Kairi Sane is in at #11 to give us three members of Damage CTRL. The three of them get to beat up various people but not actually toss anyone as the ring is getting way too full. LeRae sends Asuka and Sane to the apron, only to have Bayley make the save and toss LeRae in a big crash.

Tegan Nox is in at #12 and wrecks some people but Grace cuts her off. Natalya makes the save and gives Grace a discus lariat. Natalya goes to throw Nox out but gets tossed instead, with Bayley getting rid of Nox as well, leaving them both stunned on the floor. Katana Chance is in at #13 and is so distraught at losing the Women’s Tag Team Titles last night that she stops to dance.

Sane is sent over the top and one of her feet touches and she tries to hang on to the apron, only to fall down for the elimination (I’m not sure if that was the plan). Asuka is kicked out a few seconds later and Bayley yells at the rest of the team for being eliminated. Chelsea Green is in at #14 and is immediately sent to the apron twice in a row before hitting a Zig Zag on Belair. We get the Grace vs. Belair slugout and they go to the apron, where Belair hits a KOD for the elimination.

Piper Niven is in at #15 and catches Green as we get a set of nifty time counters for various entrants. A bunch of people get together to beat on Niven and it’s Xia Li in at #16. Li racks Green, who kicks at Niven by mistake for a not so great result. Zelina Vega is in at #17 and has what must be some weird cosplay deal. Vega gives Niven a tornado DDT as there are far too many people in there and the pace has slowed down a lot. Maxxine Dupri is in at #18 and does her SHOOSH before dropping to the mat to hide from Niven.

Vega and Belair team up for a Code Red to put Niven down. A bunch of people can’t get rid of Niven, who eliminates Carter. Nia Jax is in at #19 so Li goes after her, only to get knocked out in a hurry. Nile is out as well and Niven accidentally splashes Green. Jax does it in purpose and then gets rammed into Green in the corner for a funny bit. A bunch of people go after Jax, who then charges at Niven, with Green getting crushed between them. Naomi hits a springboard enziguri to Jax who, say it with me, falls onto Green as well.

Shotzi is in at #20, giving us Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Chance, Green, Niven, Vega, Dupri, Jax and Shotzi as the ring is WAY too full again. A bunch of people get together to go after Jax, who shrugs them off. Bayley gets rid of Dupri and Jax tosses Green and Niven. Chance is tossed out onto the pile as well and it’s Becky Lynch in at #21.

Lynch goes right after Jax and DDT’s Vega and Shotzi at the same time. She throws Jax into Bayley as Green is back in, apparently not being thrown out. Lynch knocks her out without much trouble so that was nothing, especially after her hilarious bit earlier. Alba Fyre is in at #22 and hits a double Gory Bomb on Shotzi and Vega. Ignore that Vega didn’t actually hit anything on the way down. With no one else out, Shayna Baszler is in at #23 to start going after arms.

Valhalla is in at #24….and here is R-Truth to take her place and enter the match by mistake. Jax throws him out anyway as Adam Pearce is here to say Valhalla is in and R-Truth is out. Then Jax throws Valhalla out without much trouble. Michin is in at #25 and goes after Fyre before Rock Bottoming Bayley onto Baszler. Naomi is up with a hanging Pedigree to get rid of Fyre as things slow down again.

Zoey Stark is in at #26 with a missile dropkick on Michin. The brawling continues, with Baszler blocking a hurricanrana fr Vega, who is kicked out in a heap. NXT’s Roxanne Perez is in at #27 and snaps off a headscissors on Stark. Bayley jumps Perez but can’t get rid of her as Jax throws out Baszler and Michin. Shotzi is tossed out and Jax is the only one left standing…..but Jade Cargill is in at #28. She gets one heck of a reaction and slugs it out with Jax, whom she picks up for a one armed Widowmaker. Cargill throws Jax out and even Lynch realizes that was awesome.

Cargill’s charge hits the post though and everyone is down as Tiffany Stratton is in at #29. She immediately flip dives onto a bunch of people and hits an Alabama Slam on Perez. The returning Liv Morgan is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Naomi, Bayley, Belair, Vega, Lynch, Stark, Perez, Cargill, Stratton and Morgan. The pace is picked up until Stark kicks Morgan in the face, only to get knocked out without much trouble.

Stratton kicks Perez out so everyone surrounds her, only to split off and start the brawls. Cargill and Belair have stereo gorilla presses and then drop Morgan and Lynch for the mega showdown (the fans approve). Naomi gets spinebustered by Cargill, who tosses Lynch and Naomi in quite the moment.

Morgan and Belair are sent to the apron, with Stratton being pulled out with them. A Codebreaker staggers Stratton but she grabs Belair’s hair for the save. Bayley kicks both of them out, leaving us with Bayley, Cargill and Morgan. They all wind up on the apron and Morgan eliminates Cargill, only to get kicked out by Bayley for the win at 1:04:57.

Rating: C+. This was only so interesting as there isn’t quite enough depth to get all the way to thirty entrants in this kind of thing. The top spots were good with Bayley getting a long awaited win, but other than that there were some long stretches which were needing something better. Get rid of some of the dead spots in the middle and it’s better, but this only got so far.

Come to St. Petersburg!

We recap the four way for the Smackdown World Title. Roman Reigns pinned LA Knight about two years ago so now Knight, Randy Orton and AJ Styles want the title.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman, is defending. We get a long staredown to start before all of the challengers go after Reigns in a smart move. Styles and Knight get in a fight of their own though, leaving Orton and Reigns to brawl out to the floor. Knight and Styles join them, with Knight sending Styles face first into the announcers’ table. Orton drops Reigns onto the same table and then goes after Knight as it’s time to switch off.

Knight gets the better of things, only to miss a charge and get dropped onto the table for a big crash. Orton takes Reigns back inside for the circle stomp before stopping to powerslam Styles. Knight is back in to stomp Orton down though as the back and forth start continues. Orton and Styles go outside, leaving Reigns to clothesline Knight in the corner. Reigns drops Styles as well and the fans certainly seem to approve.

It’s Knight getting back up with a DDT to Reigns and a slam to Orton, setting up a middle rope bulldog. The jumping superplex brings Styles back down and there’s the BFT to Reigns to get the crowd up again, only for Styles to make the save. Styles fights up and strikes away with the Styles Clash hitting Reigns for two and Knight making the save this time. Back up and Reigns tries the Superman Punch but Orton RKOs him out of the air in a sweet counter for another near fall, with Solo Sikoa pulling the referee out.

Sikoa isn’t done as he Samoan Spikes Orton and Knight before stacking Knight onto Orton (which doesn’t seem overly bright). The running Umaga Attack against the barricade misses Styles though and Sikoa is down. Styles comes back in with a Phenomenal Forearm to knock Reigns onto the other two before getting a triple cover for two, even though that normally means the first person getting a cover (Knight in this case) wins.

Styles grabs a chair and beats on Reigns, then does the same to Knight. Orton breaks that up with a low blow but gets speared out to the floor. Knight goes after Reigns but the BFT is broken up, which breaks up the Styles Clash as well. With Knight down, the spear to Styles retains the title at 19:24.

Rating: B. Rather nice stuff here with everyone going in there and trying hard, with the time flying by. Reigns winning wasn’t exactly in doubt with a milestone Wrestlemania on the horizon, but at least he had to put in the work to get there. If nothing else, it’s nice to see the other three getting a chance, as it has been awhile for most of them.

We recap Logan Paul defending the US Title against Kevin Owens. Paul is the rather braggadocios US Champion while Owens is here o shut him up. They’ve taken turns attacking each other and Paul has injured Owens’ hands.

United States Title: Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Paul is defending and offers a handshake but Owens chops him down instead. They’re quickly on the floor and Owens sends him hard into the barricade. Back in and a rather big chop sets up a release German suplex, meaning it’s time to go back outside. Owens drops a backsplash but Paul gets smart by going after the bad hand. Back in again and a high crossbody takes Owens down.

An armbar goes on but Owens elbows his way out of an Octopus. With nothing else working, Paul goes simple by punching Owens’ bad hand. Paul misses a 619 though, allowing Owens to hit a hard clothesline. Another backsplash hits raised knees though, as I continue to love watching someone learn during a match. Back up and Owens stomps away in the corner, setting up a pair of Cannonballs. The frog splash connects but a Swanton hits Paul’s raised knees.

Paul misses a Swanton of his own though, only to hit a Buckshot Lariat. A frog splash gives Paul two but he tries a superplex, which you just do not do to Owens. The swinging superplex gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Paul’s big right hand drops Owens for a near fall and now it’s Paul’s turn to be shocked.

One of Paul’s goons tries to bring in some brass knuckles but the referee cuts it off and has said goon ejected. Cue A-Town Down Under for a distraction though and Paul gets the brass knuckles…which Owens takes away and uses to knock Paul out. The referee sees said knuckles though (McAfee: Oh NOW the referee has 20/20!”) and that’s a DQ at 14:01.

Rating: B. It was a good fight and there is something to be said about a bit of a twist ending rather than Paul just getting the pin. If nothing else, Owens is at his best when he’s upset about something and the ending should fit in well. Paul gets to keep bragging about being champion too and that is good for just about everyone. Well mainly Paul but you get the idea.

Post match Owens puts Paul through the announcers’ table. Then he takes a cough drop.

Hulk Hogan really wants you to come to St. Petersburg.

Elimination Chamber is in Australia.

Wrestlemania is in 70 days.

The attendance is 48,044, a new stadium record. Uh, yay.

Rumble By The Numbers!

30 entrants
1,310 entrants
34 winners
2.6% have won
20 have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania
1 woman to enter at #1 and win
20 eliminations for Ripley all time, a record
1:01:08, Ripley’s record time in the Rumble
1:11:40, Gunther’s record time in the Rumble
60% of the winners have come from the last ten entrants
#30 has produced the most winners (5)
3 who have won consecutive Royal Rumbles
3 wins for Steve Austin, a record
3rd time Tampa will host the Royal Rumble (1995/2021)
8 eliminations for Shayna Baszler, the most in a single women’s match
9 two time winners
13 eliminations in one men’s Rumble by Brock Lesnar
Natalya is one of four women to compete in all women’s Rumbles
45 eliminations by Kane over 18 Rumbles, both records
3,653 days since CM Punk has been in a Royal Rumble
34,000,000 social media engagements for the Logan Paul vs. Ricochet clip from last year
9 people have won their first World Title off a Royal Rumble win
60% of winners from the last five years have won the World Title at Wrestlemania

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Jey Uso is in at #1 and Jimmy Uso is in at #2. They stare each other down to start until Jimmy is punched out to the apron. That’s not enough for an elimination as Jimmy is back in to strike away, but the jumping enziguri misses. Jey superkicks Jimmy down but the Superfly Splash hits raised knees to leave them both needing a breather. Grayson Waller is in at #3 and naturally he runs his mouth about how awesome he is. Jey knocks him of the apron before he can get in, only to come in and team up with Jimmy for some double teaming.

Andrade returns at #4 and cleans house (or as much as you can with two heels in the ring) but can’t get rid of anyone. Carmelo Hayes is in at #5 and we get a three way staredown with Hayes, Andrade and Jey. That’s broken up and Hayes gets rid of Waller without much effort. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #6 and the fans sing his song. Jimmy seems to approve and gets kicked in the head as a result. The freshly heel Santos Escobar is in at #7 and we get straight to a showdown with Andrade. They hug and pose but Andrade isn’t interested in a Legado del Fantasma pose.

Karrion Kross is in at #8 and everyone goes to the general brawling. With that not going anywhere, Dominik Mysterio is in at #9 and the fans are not happy. It takes a good while for him to get in and he is quickly taken into a corner for some not so near eliminations. Carlito is in at #10, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Andrade, Hayes, Nakamura, Escobar, Kross, Mysterio and Carlito at the one third mark. Carlito goes after Escobar who bails to the floor, leaving Carlito to load up the apple. Escobar gets it in the face and is then tossed out to clear some of the ring.

Bobby Lashley is in at #11 and starts throwing some not great looking spears. One of them is enough to get rid of Kross so here are the AOP for a distraction, allowing Kross to pull Lashley out for the elimination. The big bawl is on with the Street Profits running out to even things up. They all go up the aisle and brawl to the back as Ludwig Kaiser is in at #12. He goes after Dominik for a bit of a weird one and everyone pairs off until Austin Theory is in at #13. The flipping Downward Spiral plants Jey and more brawling ensues as we need someone to clear the ring a bit.

Finn Balor is in at #14 and Hayes is tossed in a hurry. Cody Rhodes is in at #15 and this should pick things up a bit. The Cody Cutter gets rid of Theory but Balor takes Rhodes down and they slug it out. Bronson Reed is in at #16 and gets rid of Andrade. Nakamura and Rhodes slug it out with Nakamura hitting a spinning kick to the face as Kofi Kingston is in at #17. A Disaster Kick and Cross Rhodes get rid of Nakamura and Kaiser is out shortly thereafter.

Gunther is in at #18 and chopping ensues, setting up the staredown with Gunther. That’s broken up and Kingston gets Gunther out to the apron, earning Kingston an elimination (no special save this time). Ivar is in a #19 and hits a powerslam, setting up the slugout with Reed. NXT’s Bron Breakker is in at #20, giving us Jey, Jimmy, Mysterio, Balor, Rhodes, Reed, Gunther, Ivar and Breakker.

A spear immediately hits Jimmy and a running clothesline gets rid of him. Another spear gets rid of Balor and it’s time for Gunther vs. Breakker, which has the fans’ interest. Gunther slips out of the gorilla press but Breakker gives him the spear to quite the reaction. Omos is in at #21 and takes his sweet time getting to the ring. House is quickly cleaned and Reed is knocked out with a big boot. Breakker spears a springboarding Ivar out of the air and gets rid of him before staring up at Omos.

Pat McAfee is in at #22 and looks more than a bit surprised at the news. He sees Omos and Breakker waiting on him and eliminates himself in a funny moment. McAfee has claimed that he didn’t know this was coming and I’d believe it. McAfee: “HOW BIG IS THAT THING IN THERE????” Breakker dumps Omos and Mysterio knocks Breakker out (after a star making performance), with Cole and Graves making up trash talk that Breakker said about Omos.

JD McDonagh is in at #23 and gets speared by Breakker on the floor before he can get in. Cody and Gunther fight some more as R-Truth is in at #24 (the same number he entered the women’s match in for a nice touch). He throws McDonagh in so McDonagh can be properly eliminated, only to stand on the apron or a tag to Mysterio. Naturally Mysterio tags him in (because) and he goes after Omos to little avail.

Miz is in at #25 for an Awesome Truth reunion but Truth saves Mysterio. Gunther breaks that up and Mysterio gives Miz a 619 as Damian Priest is in at #26. Truth is out in a hurry and Priest cleans house, including South Of Heaven to Gunther. CM Punk is in at #27 and gets to do a bunch of running knees in the corner. Mysterio is tossed but Priest decks Punk with a discus forearm.

Ricochet is in at #28 and gets to fly around a bit as Gunther tosses Miz. Drew McIntyre is in at #29 to make things a bit bigger. A bit of house is cleaned, including a heck of an overhead belly to belly to Ricochet. Jey superkicks Gunther almost to the apron but gets pulled out himself to end a rather long run. Sami Zayn is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Rhodes, Gunther, Priest, Punk, Ricochet, McIntyre and Zayn. The pace picks up as Zayn goes after McIntyre, who recently beat him up pretty badly.

Priest avoids being tossed out but Ricochet can’t do the same as we’re down to six. A variety of suplexes and kicks ensue until Sami gets rid of Priest, only to be dumped by McIntyre. We’re down to Rhodes, Punk, Gunther and McIntyre and everyone needs a breather as Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns watch from a sky box. Gunther and Rhodes pair off as McIntyre chops away at Punk in the corner.

The Cody Cutter seems to wake Gunther up as he hits a hard clothesline to Rhodes. We get the McIntyre vs. Gunther staredown but they go back to what they were doing instead of fighting. A neckbreaker puts Punk down but the Claymore misses. The GTS is blocked and it’s the Glasgow Kiss to drop Punk again. Gunther sleepers Rhodes but gets Claymored by McIntyre. Another Claymore hits Rhodes and McIntyre is the only one standing.

There’s a Claymore to Punk to complete the set but McIntyre would rather yell at Punk than get him out. That’s enough for Punk to toss McIntyre, who looks absolutely crushed. Gunther dropkicks Punk and gives him a powerbomb before sending Rhodes to the apron. Rhodes pulls Gunther to the apron as well though and Gunther is out, leaving us with two. They slug it out and then slug it out some more with Punk getting the better of things.

Rhodes gets in a powerslam but the Cody Cutter is countered into some rolling German suplexes. That’s broken up but so is Cross Rhodes, allowing Punk to put him on the apron. Back in and Cross Rhodes connects, only for Punk to get in a desperation GTS. Punk gets him out to the apron but Rhodes is right back in, meaning it’s a Pedigree to take him down again. Another GTS is blocked though and Rhodes throws him out for the win at 1:08:16.

Rating: A-. This was a heck of a Rumble with some entertaining spots throughout and a bunch of good stuff. The last bit felt epic and, despite Punk’s big injury (as he tore his tricep while fighting McIntyre), the final two had a heck of a showdown. Cody winning is the right call as he is on the way to his destiny in Philadelphia and he had to get there from here. I liked this one a lot as they kept things moving and I wasn’t bored at all.

Rhodes celebrates for a good while and points at Roman Reigns in the sky box (yeah don’t bother teasing that Rollins stuff as there is zero point in this case). Reigns holds up the title and looks a bit nervous.

The big highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B+. The Women’s Royal Rumble was the only thing close to a weak spot and even then it was good enough. The rest of the show was one hit after another as we are starting to get exactly what we need out of WWE. I liked this a good bit and you can feel the energy around here, which is rather nice to see. Heck of a show here, with Wrestlemania on the horizon as the really big prize.

Ratings Comparison

Women’s Royal Rumble

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Roman Reigns vs. AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-
Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. Logan Paul

Original: B
Redo: B

Men’s Royal Rumble

Original: B-
Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-
Redo: B+

I totally shortchanged the Men’s Royal Rumble the first time around as it’s way better than that.

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2023
Date: January 28, 2023
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 51,338
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Pat McAfee

As usual, it’s hard to believe that a year has passed since this show and now we get to see how it holds up. There are of course two Royal Rumble matches, plus Kevin Owens getting another title shot against Roman Reigns. The bigger story though is Sami Zayn, who has been having some issues with Reigns, his Bloodline boss, coming into the show. Let’s get to it.

Musician Hardy talks about knowing what it takes to become someone. We get some previews of the show’s big matches. Well as many big ones as you can on a card with five matches. Hardy says when you get the chance, kick the door down.

The announcers welcome us to the show….and Pat McAfee is here as a surprise commentator. Graves is FURIOUS and Cole sounds shocked that he’s here. Cole isn’t sure how McAfee could be here when he talked to him on Face Time earlier today. McAfee: “Yeah I lied straight to your face.” Graves’ reaction alone is worth a listen as he won’t stop yelling.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Gunther in at #1 and Sheamus is in at #2. Believe it or not, they go straight to slugging it out with a collision not getting anywhere. Gunther tries to toss him out so Sheamus rakes the eyes for the break. The Irish Curse isn’t enough to get rid of Gunther and it’s the Miz in at #3. Since it takes about thirty seconds to get to the ring, Gunther is back up and trying to toss Sheamus before Miz can even get inside. Miz finally runs inside and gets chopped down by Gunther, leaving Sheamus to hammer Gunther in the corner. Sheamus and Gunther try to toss each other until Kofi Kingston is in at #4.

Kingston high crossbodies Miz and Gunther and kicks Sheamus in the face for a bonus. Back up and Sheamus sends him to the apron but can’t get rid of him just yet. No one can get rid of anyone else so Johnny Gargano is in at #5. The slingshot spear hits Kofi and there’s an enziguri to Miz. For some reason Gargano loads up some forearms to Miz’s chest, only to have Sheamus glare him away. Some kicks to the face put Miz out, leaving a bunch of people to go after Gunther.

Xavier Woods is in at #6 and New Day starts to clean house on everyone else. Kofi and Woods tease fighting each other but do a….we’ll call it a dance I guess. Karrion Kross is in at #7 and goes after Woods (after another rather slow entrance, which is starting to become an issue as it takes time for anything to happen). Gunther BLASTS Kross with a clothesline but he’s right back up, meaning it’s time for a slugout with Sheamus. Chad Gable is in at #8, who gets into an amateur match with Woods, who for some reason thinks this is a good idea.

Gable German suplexes Woods down but gets decked by Kofi as Drew McIntyre is in at #9. The reverse Alabama Slam sends Gargano down onto Gable as commentary mocks Sheamus and McIntyre’s team name, which may or may not be an adult film company. McIntyre Claymores Kross out and gets to trade chops with Gunther. Santos Escobar is in at #10, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Kingston, Gargano, Woods, Gable, McIntyre and Escobar at the one third mark. Escobar goes after Gable but has to slip out of Sheamus’ forearms to the chest.

Angelo Dawkins is in at #11 and McAfee seems rather intrigued. Gunther kicks Woods out but Escobar saves Gunther from Kingston for some reason. Kingston hits a pop up double stomp to Gunther’s chest, only to be sent outside and onto a chair. The idea is for one foot to stay on said chair…but yeah he’s out anyway. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar is in at #12 and smashing is likely to ensue. The suplexes start fast and there go Escobar, Dawkins and Escobar.

We get the Lesnar vs. Gunther staredown and the fans REALLY like that one. Since we don’t have enough power in there at the moment, Bobby Lashley is in at #13. Lesnar suplexes Gunther but walks into a spear from Lashley, who takes down almost everyone else. A clothesline gets rid of Lesnar, which somehow didn’t set up a Wrestlemania rematch. Baron Corbin is in at #14 as Lesnar wrecks ringside.

Lesnar also wrecks Corbin, including an F5 on the floor. Things slow down in the ring and it’s Seth Rollins in at #15. Rollins throws Corbin inside and quickly eliminates him, which has McAfee very happy. Sheamus and Rollins slug it out as Otis is in at #16. Otis gets to run some people over as commentary makes sumo references. Rey Mysterio is in at #17…or not as he doesn’t show up. Rollins gets rid of Lashley in a bit of a surprise and here is Dominik Mysterio, with Rey’s mask (suggesting an attack) in at #18.

Otis is tossed during the entrance as commentary yells about how much they can’t stand Dominik. After Dominik finally gets in, Elias is in at #19 (McAfee is a big an) and goes after a variety of people. This includes breaking a guitar over Gunther, because that is a good idea. A simultaneous Claymore and Brogue Kick put Elias down and what’s left of him is eliminated.

Finn Balor is in at #20, giving us Gunther, Sheamus, Gargano, McIntyre, Rollins, Dominik and Balor. Dominik and Balor get together to dump Gargano but get stared down by Sheamus and McIntyre. Booker T. is in as a surprise at #21 and fires of some kicks into the Spinarooni. Then Gunther eliminates him without much trouble. Sheamus and McIntyre beat on Gunther (who has a cut on his back) as Damian Priest is in at #22.

That doesn’t go anywhere so it’s Montez Ford in at #23 and taking his time to get to the ring. Ford goes after the Judgment Day and is quickly tossed by Priest. Edge is in at #24 and yeah that gets a big reaction. Judgment Day gets speared down and Edge tosses Priest and Balor without much trouble. Dominik breaks up a Rollins vs. Edge showdown, allowing Judgment Day to pull Edge out as well.

Austin Theory is in at #25 but he pauses to get in as Edge has to beat up Judgment Day near the entrance. Cue Rhea Ripley to jump Edge but Beth Phoenix pops up to spear her down. Theory finally gets in and Omos is also in at #26. Sheamus and McIntyre are waiting on him but they get dropped without much effort. Gunther is the only one left to go after Omos but the chops only have so much effect. With Omos as the only one standing, Braun Strowman is in at #27.

Strowman staggers Omos with a right hand and puts him out with a running clothesline for the big elimination. Theory is sent flying into the corner and it’s Ricochet (Strowman’s partner) in at #28. Strowman uses Ricochet as a projectile but gets pummeled but Sheamus and McIntyre. The two of them get together and forearm him in the chest, with Gunther making a weird save. Gunther can’t get rid of McIntyre or McIntyre….but he can eliminate both of them at once. Wrestling is weird for you.

Logan Paul is in at #29 (big reaction) and gets jumped by almost everyone left in the ring. Paul gets away and hits a heck of a Buckshot Lariat on Ricochet but Gunther gutwrenches Paul to the apron. That’s broken up so Paul has to slug away at Strowman, who powerslams him down. Ricochet adds the shooting star but Paul is sent through the ropes instead of over.

Cody Rhodes is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Gunther, Rollins, Dominik, Theory, Strowman, Ricochet, Paul and Rhodes (that’s a nice number for a final grouping). The pace picks up and Rhodes hits the Cody Cutter on Theory. After firing the weight belt into the crowd, Rhodes has to counter Three Amigos into Cross Rhodes. Dominik is out and Ricochet cuts Gunther off. Ricochet and Paul wind up on opposite aprons and springboard in at the same time for a heck of a mid air collision.

Cody and Ricochet get rid of Strowman but Theory dumps Ricochet to get us down to five (Rhodes, Theory, Rollins, Gunther and Paul, with the latter on the floor). The Stomp hits Theory and Rollins gets rid of him, giving us the Rhodes vs. Rollins vs. Rhodes staredown. Gunther breaks that up and gets double teamed, including a pair of Pedigrees. Rather than dumping Gunther, they fight each other but both miss finishers.

Then Paul comes back in and dumps Rollins as we’re down to three. Rhodes ducks the big right hand and hits Cross Rhodes on Paul for the elimination, leaving us with Rhodes vs. Gunther. Rhodes strikes away but the Disaster Kick is clotheslined out of the air. Gunther puts him on the top to stand on his throat and put him on the apron. Rhodes goes up top and gets toss superplexed right back down.

That’s enough to start Rhodes’ comeback and the Cody Cutter connects, setting up a running clothesline to put Gunther on the apron. Rhodes goes after the leg ad hits Shattered Dreams but Gunther is back with the running dropkick. The powerbomb plants Rhodes again as Gunther looks to be on fumes. The sleeper on the apron has Rhodes in more trouble, only to have Rhodes pull him outside as well. Back in and Rhodes is chopped out of the air but he’s fine enough to hit Cross Rhodes. A running clothesline finally gives Rhodes the win at 1:11:40.

Rating: A-. This was a pretty awesome Rumble with Gunther having the career making (because his career wasn’t made yet) performance. He was virtually unstoppable and only went down when someone who was in the match for almost an hour less took him out. Other than that, you had Sheamus and McIntyre as the monster pairing who kept fighting with everyone. The star power was strong and the action was very good, making this a great match with an excellent final sequence to boot. Heck of a Rumble.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. LA Knight. Wyatt was back after a long hiatus and wants to be respected. Knight isn’t impressed and violence has ensued.

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

This is the Mountain Dew Pitch Black match, which means neon lights and anything goes. Knight charges at him to start and gets hammers down, setting up the big toss into the corner. It works so well that Wyatt throws him out of another corner, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor. Knight manages a whip into the steps but Wyatt sends him over the barricade.

Wyatt loads up a suplex off the steps but Knight drives him through the announcers’ table, with all of the neon stuff popping up or a weird visual. With Knight bailing into the ring, Wyatt throws a toolbox inside as well, seemingly hinting at violence. Back in and the BFT is blocked so Knight hits him with a kendo stick. Not that it matters as Knight charges into Sister Abigail for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D. To say things have changed in the last year is a major understatement but there isn’t much of a way around the fact that this match wasn’t very good. It was a bunch of slow motion fighting and then the finish came pretty much out of nowhere. The lights were a different way to go and I’m sure WWE liked the check it brought, but the match was rather nothing.

Post match Bray puts on another mask and Knight runs away, with some kendo stick shots not having any impact. Wyatt catches him near the production area and gives him the Mandible Claw. Then Uncle Howdy pops up on top of a platform and dives onto Knight, with flames coming out of the hole. Then full size versions of the Firefly Funhouse characters look down from the platform.

Tonight’s attendance: 51,338.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Bianca Belair

Bliss, who has been more evil as o late, is challenging. Belair powers her around to start and hits a running shoulder in the corner, followed by the right hands in said corner. Back up and Bliss gets in a few kicks of her own, setting up a backbreaker with feet into Belair’s back for the extra pain. The chinlock slows Belair down and it works so well that Bliss grabs it again.

This time Bliss says “you couldn’t just leave it alone could you”, which apparently wakes Belair up to hammer away in the corner. The handspring moonsault gives Belair two and some frustration is starting to set in. Bliss gets in another shot and slowly hammers away, setting up the jumping knees to the chest. A backsplash gives Bliss two but Belair has had enough of this and KOD’s her for the pin to retain at 7:34.

Rating: C. This version of Bliss was only going to go so far as the original “SHE’S EVIL” stuff wasn’t quite interesting. Asking fans to care for the warmed up leftovers didn’t help and it was on display here. Then you have Belair, who has cleared out the women’s division and needs a big name to come after the title. Not a terrible match, but it could have been on Raw without missing much.

Post match Belair leaves and Bliss is left in the ring, where a video of her evil days plays, complete with Uncle Howdy asking if she feels in charge. Then she would to on maternity leave and none of that would go anywhere, thank goodness.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Rhea Ripley is in at #1 and Liv Morgan is in at #2. They stare each other down to start until Ripley hammers her down. A running boot drops Morgan and a delayed suplex puts her down again. Dana Brooke is in at #3 (naturally looking Barbieish) and missile dropkicks both of them down. A hiptoss into a basement dropkick hits Morgan and Brooke manages a superplex.

With Ripley down in the corner, Emma is in at #4 and grabs a neckbreaker to put Ripley down again. Everyone goes after Ripley and Shayna Baszler is in at #5 as the entrants seem to be going rather quickly here. Baszler goes after Ripley before beating up Morgan and Brooke. The arm stomp has Brooke in more trouble and it’s Bayley, who rips up a sign on the way to the ring, in at #6. Morgan is right there with Oblivion to Bayley but can’t get rid of her. More brawling is on and it’s B Fab in at #7.

Some stomping doesn’t do much for B Fab as Ripley easily tosses her out. NXT Women’s Champion Roxanne Perez is in at #8 and gets to clean some house, even taking Ripley down with a spinning headscissors. Dakota Kai is in at #9 and poses with Bayley, but a bunch of women beat him down. Iyo Sky is in at #10, giving us all of Damage CTRL, with a lineup of Ripley, Morgan, Brooke,, Baszler, Bayley, Perez, Kai and Sky.

The rest of Damage CTRL has to be saved and Sky flips around a lot. Brooke helps Emma get back in but it’s Damage CTRL tossing Brooke out. Damage CTRL kick out Emma and Perez and it’s the returning Natalya in at #11. Bayley cuts Natalya off before she can get revenge on Baszler (who put her on the shelf) and we slow down a good bit. Candice LeRae is in at #12 and hits a step up backsplash on Bayley. Baszler hammers on LeRae in the corner before getting slapped by Natalya.

The running boot misses or Baszler and Natalya sends her to the apron, only to have Baszler come back with the Kirifuda Clutch. Damage CTRL gets rid of both Baszler and Natalya as NXT’s Zoey Stark is in at #13. Stark strikes away, including a nasty looking kick to Ripley’s face. A springboard corkscrew splash hits Ripley but it’s way too early for Stark to put her out. Xia Li is in at #14 and cleans house as well, only to have Damage CTRL cut her off. LeRae fights back but Sky shoves her off the top for an elimination.

Becky Lynch is in at #15 and wants revenge on Damage CTRL for taking her out in a cage on Raw. House is quickly cleaned but Bayley sends Becky outside (not eliminated). The rest of Damage CTRL gets on Becky and throw her into the barricade/over the announcers’ table. Tegan Nox is in at #16 and gets to clean house again. Nox and Morgan beat on Stark but can’t get rid of her as Asuka, to a big reaction, is in at #17.

She unmasks as the evil clown and everyone is scared, allowing Asuka to rapidly clean house. Bayley and Asuka have a big staredown, with Asuka unloading with a variety of strikes. Bayley is sent to the apron but manages a neck snap for a breather. Asuka kicks Nox out and Piper Niven is in at #18, meaning it’s likely time to wreck some people. A running seated crossbody hits Morgan and Bayley as Tamina is in at #19.

That means a Tamina vs. Niven staredown and slugout but Lynch is back in to clean house. The returning Chelsea Green is in at #20, giving us Ripley, Morgan, Bayley, Kai, Sky, Stark, Li, Lynch, Asuka, Niven, Tamina and Green. Ripley tosses Green in about three seconds and Becky eliminates Kai and Sky, only to be eliminated by Bayley (the fans REALLY react to that). Morgan dumps Bayley right at Becky’s feet and the fight is on again. Damage CTRL and Becky brawl into the crowd and Zelina Vega is in at #21 (cosplaying as a character from Street Fighter 6 in a promotional deal).

Li and Vega strike it out on the apron until Vega kicks her to the floor. Vega’s middle rope Codebreaker hits Piper and Raquel Rodriguez is in at #22. A quick clothesline drops Ripley and a spinning slam hits Asuka. Vega is back up to kick away at Rodriguez, who puts her on the top. Michin is in at #23 and gets to fire off a bunch of kicks as a trend continues. Niven fights off a bunch of people trying to eliminate her and Lacey Evans is in at #24.

Evans’ slingshot Bronco Buster hits Morgan in the corner and a legsweep takes Stark down. Michelle McCool, in the front row, is in at #25 and gets to beat everyone up at once, including the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to Vega. McCool gets rid of Tamina and Indi Hartwell is in at #26. That goes nowhere so Sonya Deville is in at #7 and gets rid of Stark. Asuka and Deville kick away at each other until Evans cobra clutches Vega out. Shotzi is in at #28 with a high crossbody to Rodriguez and Niven. Deville eliminates Hartwell and Nikki Cross is in at #29.

Cross gets to beat up various people and she throws her jacket down for a bonus. With the ten second countdown not even starting, Nia Jax is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Ripley, Morgan, Asuka, Niven, Rodriguez, Michin, Evans, McCool, Deville, Shotzi, Cross and Jax. Everyone stops to wait for Jax, who, believe it or not, runs her mouth and fights everyone but Rodriguez off. Rodriguez gets thrown down but a bunch of people go after her, with Ripley….managing something close to the Riptide.

Everyone gets together to toss Jax and Rodriguez clotheslines Evans out. Asuka pulls Rodriguez into the armbar but Asuka moves on to kicking Deville off the apron for an elimination. Ripley gets rid of McCool and Michin eliminates Shotzi. Niven LAUNCHES Michin onto Shotzi to get us down to six, with Niven belly to back suplexing Rodriguez. For some reason Niven goes up, allowing Rodriguez to kick her out as Ripley gets the Iron Woman record.

The Tejana Bomb to Ripley is countered, with Ripley tossing Rodriguez and then sending both Asuka and Cross to the apron. Morgan knocks out Cross and we’re down to Ripley, Morgan and Asuka. Ripley is sent to the apron but headbutts Morgan and pulls her out to the apron with her. Asuka joins them and mists Morgan, allowing Ripley to kick Asuka out. Morgan Codebreakers Ripley down but she hangs on and pulls Morgan out for the win at 1:01:08 (earning the Stick Stickly seal of approval).

Rating: C. I ran out of ways to say “and then this wrestler came in and they beat a bunch of people up and then nothing happened and then someone else came in.” The double Iron Women thing didn’t do much as Ripley was doing her thing here and there while Morgan was barely around. The Women’s Rumble has a tendency to be rather top heavy and that was the case here, with the Damage CTRL run, along with Becky and Ripley, being the only interesting part. It was the Ripley show and she was kind of laying around (as you tend to do in an hour long run) and that didn’t make for a good Rumble.

Hardy performs to kill some time.

We recap Kevin Owens challenging Roman Reigns for the World Title. This is much more about whether or not Sami Zayn is really part of the Bloodline or just their lackey. On the other hand, Reigns is sick and tired of Kevin Owens so it’s time to get rid of him once and for all. Zayn has insisted that he’s in the Bloodline, and even Jey Us, who never believed him, isn’t sure about Zayn anymore. Reigns has told Zayn’s final test is at the Royal Rumble, where he has to show whose side he is really on.

WWE Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and Sami Zayn, is defending. They circle each other to start until Reigns hits a quick clothesline. Back up and Owens scores with an elbow to the face before stomping away at Reigns in the corner. There’s the Cannonball as Zayn is starting to look worried at ringside. Reigns rolls outside and there’s the backsplash to crush him again. Back in and Reigns hits a release Rock Bottom for two, followed by the apron boot to the face for the same.

The chinlock goes on for a bit but Owens fights up and drops Reigns again. The frog splash gives Reigns two but he’s back with a sitout powerbomb. Back up and the Superman Punch gives Reigns two more, only to have Owens send the spear into the post. Owens hits the Swanton for another near fall but botches a springboard moonsault attempt. The second attempt misses, allowing Reigns to hit a spear for another near fall.

Naturally the referee gets bumped and more naturally, there is no one to count as Owens hits the Pop Up Powerbomb. Reigns goes low to cut Owens off again and tells Zayn to throw in a chair. That goes rather slowly, allowing Owens to come back with a Stunner or a rather near fall. Zayn is breathing a sigh of relief as Heyman glares at him and the two inside slowly get up.

Another Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a Superman Punch (that was cool) and another spear gets another two. Owens rolls outside where Zayn tells him to stay down, only to have Reigns spear Owens through the barricade. Rather than covering though, Reigns sends him head first into the steps, followed by another spear to retain at 19:13.

Rating: B-. It was a good, hard hitting fight but there was absolutely no drama as to the winner because we have been flat out told that this is all about Sami Zayn. Owens was trying, but he was just the designated challenger here and there was no way around it. Reigns could only make you believe he was in so much danger and it showed pretty badly. Not a bad match whatsoever, but the opening bell started the countdown to the spear.

Post match Reigns holds on on Zayn getting his lei, as instead he has the Usos destroy an already out of it Owens. The beating continues, including a chair being wrapped around Owens’ neck for the running Umaga attack from Solo Sikoa. Owens gets handcuffed to the ropes for some superkicks as the fans chant for Sami. Reigns grabs the chair and yells at Owens, but Zayn gets in between them, saying Owens is done.

Reigns thinks about it and then holds the chair out to Zayn, who doesn’t want to do it. Zayn: “I don’t want to.” Reigns: “I think you should.” Zayn takes the chair as Reigns shouts about how he loves Zayn while Owens keeps trying to hold him back. Does Zayn want to go do the Jackass stuff again? Zayn stands behind Reigns and slowly holds up the chair, with Reigns turning around and saying PULL THE TRIGGER. Reigns calls out Zayn for crying and shoves him in the face a few times, shouting that THIS IS MY WHOLE LIFE.

With that, Reigns turns to look at Owens again, and with the fans chanting for him, Zayn blasts Reigns in the back with the chair to one of the loudest pops you will ever hear. Jey Uso looks at Zayn and can’t believe what is going on but never touches him. Instead Jimmy superkicks Zayn down and destroys him, with Sikoa adding the Spike. Reigns tells Jey to get in on this but a broken Jey rolls to the floor and leaves without touching anyone. Reigns destroys Zayn with the chair and forearms tot he head, ripping the Honorary Uce shirt off of him to end the show.

I didn’t catch it live but as has been pointed out: that was the same way Seth Rollins turned on Reigns to end the Shield, which ties the whole story together. Reigns was so betrayed by the Shield that he turned to the only people he could trust, his family, to avoid it happening again but then the one person who wasn’t blood, turned on him. That is some top level storytelling and the fans reacted to it as a result. For wrestling, this was Shakespeare, and the tag match at Wrestlemania and then Jey siding with Jimmy was incredible, but they just couldn’t find a way to wrap it all up, at least within the next year.

Overall Rating: B-. As usual, the Royal Ruble is one of the most unique shows of the year as it is built around two matches. The first Rumble was great and the second was…well not, but this year had a special bonus. The post main event angle was an instant classic and set things off for the next several months. The show is not great and the women’s Rumble is weak, along with the other non-Rumble matches, but the two good parts carry the show far enough.

Results
Cody Rhodes won the men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Gunther
Bray Wyatt b. LA Knight – Sister Abigail
Bianca Belair b. Alexa Bliss – KOD
Rhea Ripley won the women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Liv Morgan
Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Spear

 

Ratings Comparison

Men’s Royal Rumble:

Original: A-
2024 Redo: A-

LA Knight vs. Bray Wyatt

Original: D+
2024 Redo: D

Bianca Belair vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: C-
2024 Redo: C

Women’s Royal Ruble

Original: C
2024 Redo: C

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Overall Rating:

Original: B
2024 Redo: B-

Yep, more or less the same as the original.

 

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