Survivor Series 2016
Date: November 20, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,143
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, David Otunga

I say this every year but it’s always hard to believe that it’s been a full year since this show. This was the first time that a Survivor Series was expanded to four hours but thankfully there’s a good chance that they could make it work, mainly due to the elimination matches. The main event though is Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg, which I’m sure will be completely uneventful. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese vs. Noam Dar/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann

This is a preview match for something called 205 Live, which debuts next week. I know it hasn’t gone great but the division really has evolved into a better place than when it started. Swann gets a nice reaction and then starts with Nese, who gets chopped in the corner. They do their regular flips with Swann’s jump over Nese’s feet getting a good pop (as always) before it’s off to Perkins.

Some suplexes set up an Octopus Hold but Nese reverses into a kind of gutwrench suplex. Gulak comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner with everyone working him over. We actually get a TJ PERKINS chant as he slaps on the kneebar to keep Gulak in trouble. Everything breaks down and we take a break.

Back with Daivari in trouble this time as Dar gets two off a running kick to the face. Nese offers a distraction though and a spinebuster takes Dar down. A superkick gives Daivari two and it’s back to Gulak to crank on the leg. If this sounds rather uninteresting, it’s only because that’s what it is.

Dar dropkicks his way to freedom and the hot tag brings in Swann to very little reaction. A good looking jumping hurricanrana takes Daivari off the middle rope as everything breaks down again. That means we hit the dives but the referee CUTS PERKINS OFF. Now you know that’s not working so Perkins dives over the referee to take out some villains. Back in and Swann’s standing 450 ends Daivari at 11:48.

Rating: C-. I forgot how uninteresting these earlier cruiserweight matches were. The guys barely have characters and the entire story here was “three faces vs. three heels”. It didn’t get much better for a long time but, as usual, the problem comes down to one simple thing: if the smaller guys on the main roster can be big stars and do all these dives, why should I be impressed when cruiserweights can do them too?

Kickoff Show: Luke Harper vs. Kane

Harper is part of the NEW Wyatt Family, which screwed Kane over, meaning we need a match here. Kane grabs a full nelson of all things and we’re in a chinlock fifteen seconds in. That goes nowhere so Harper grabs a headlock as the fans are oddly split here. Kane starts in on the shoulder by sending it into the buckle. Harper sends him outside though and hits that suicide shove of his (Who needs cruiserweights?).

A slingshot flip splash gives Luke two and we take a break. Back with Kane in a chinlock (well duh) but managing to superplex Harper down for a crash. The sidewalk slam gets two but Harper scores with a superkick for the same. Kane’s running DDT and Harper’s Boss Man Slam are good for two more each but it’s the chokeslam to put Harper away at 9:10.

Rating: D+. Well what were you expecting here? This was exactly the match you would have planned out for them and Kane won with his finisher. It’s about as paint by numbers of a power match as you can get and while it wasn’t terrible, it’s also a match I really didn’t need to see.

The opening video looks at Goldberg vs. Lesnar and then all the Raw vs. Smackdown matches. Well at least they got some time. I’m sure Stephanie’s voiceovers had nothing to do with it.

Raw Women’s Team vs. Smackdown Women’s Team

Raw: Bayley, Alicia Fox, Charlotte, Nia Jax, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Alexa Bliss, Becky Lynch, Carmella, Naomi, Nikki Bella

Entrances alone take forever of course, which will be a theme tonight. Charlotte is Raw Women’s Champion and has Dana Brooke in her corner. Becky is Smackdown Women’s Champion but Nikki is captain. You know, because of course. Bliss gets a heck of a reaction (gee I wonder why). Actually hang on a second as there’s no Nikki. We cut to the back where she’s down after being attacked. Not to worry though, as Smackdown coach Natalya is more than willing to take the spot.

We settle down to Becky and Banks trading rollups before it’s off to Charlotte for more of the same. Becky can’t get the Disarm-Her and it’s off to Nia as things get a lot more difficult. Carmella and Bliss come in for the expected results and Naomi’s high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Natalya actually gets a reaction but Nia clotheslines her head off for her efforts. It’s off to Fox vs. Carmella with Alicia avoiding a Bronco Buster, setting up what looked to be a mostly missed ax kick for the elimination at 6:35. Bliss comes right in, sends Fox into the buckle and adds Twisted Bliss to tie it up at 6:48.

Charlotte and Naomi come in with the latter cleaning house, including knocking Nia outside and hitting a high crossbody to the floor. Nia posts her though and that’s a countout at 8:23. We pause for the Tye Dillinger TEN chant until Bliss takes Banks down and grinds her face into the mat. Banks sends Bliss and Natalya into each other, followed by the double knees in the corner to Alexa. Back up and Bliss saves Natalya from the Bank Statement, allowing Natalya to roll Banks up for the elimination at 10:20.

Charlotte comes in and gets suplexed, meaning we hit the SUPLEX CITY chants. You would think fans would know more chants than that. Charlotte goes up for the moonsault but, as always, Natalya powerbombs her down for two in the near fall that never ends Charlotte. The required Sharpshooter sends Charlotte crawling for the ropes but a big boot ends Natalya at 12:01.

Becky and Bliss get in an argument over who should come in, allowing Jax to suplex them both at the same time. Of course that gets a MAMA MIA from Mauro, which I miss hearing so often. Bliss gets caught in a slam but Becky makes a blind tag and missile dropkicks Bliss in the back to knock her onto Jax. The Disarm-Her actually makes Jax tap at 13:35 and it’s 2-2 with Becky/Bliss vs Charlotte/Bayley.

Jax mauls Becky, leaving Bliss to get big booted down for the elimination at 14:03. Becky fights back as fast as she can with the series of clotheslines into the leg lariat, followed by Bexplex. Bayley has to dive in for a save after a top rope legdrop before coming in for the slugout. Another Bexplex gets two but Bayley’s elbow to the back gets the same. You can tell Becky is getting tired out there so Bayley blocks the Disarm-Her and grabs the Bayley to Belly for the final pin at 17:53.

Rating: C+. The quick eliminations didn’t help things here but the ending was the right call. There was way too much talent on the Raw side to lose and I’m VERY glad it was Natalya, who can wrestle this style without having to dumb things down too much. Becky was pretty much all the blue team had for a lot of the match and she put up a valiant effort, only to be outgunned. That makes her look strong and Bayley getting a win like this is a good thing for her at this stage in her main roster career.

Charlotte takes Bayley out post match and beats her around ringside.

Smackdown mascot James Ellsworth runs into Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows, who weren’t funny in 2016 either. They make some bad chin puns but Raw GM Mick Foley comes in to run them off. Ellsworth talks about all the great memories he has of Foley, most of which involve him being in extreme pain. Foley thanks him anyway and suggests Ellsworth move to Raw. He appreciates the offer but politely turns it down because he’s true blue. Foley leaves and Ellsworth runs into Braun Strowman, who asks if he knows Ellsworth. James runs in a smart move.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Miz is defending and Sami is trying to take the title to Raw. We get the Big Match Intros and Sami gets quite the reaction for being Canadian. Sami spins out of a wristlock to start and Miz looks annoyed in the corner. Miz gets sent outside but Sami has to bail out of the flip dive. The moonsault off the barricade works though, drawing over Maryse for a distraction. Well she can be quite distracting.

This one works well with Miz taking out the knee to get his first advantage. Some hard stomps to the knees have Sami in trouble but he’s still able to clothesline Miz to the floor. A flip dive works as well, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two. Miz’s short DDT gets the same and it’s time for a double breather. The running corner dropkick/clothesline look to set up the ax handle but Sami reverses into the Blue Thunder Bomb.

The Helluva Kick only hits corner though and that means the Figure Four. This one stays on for a good while until Sami makes the ropes, earning himself some YES Kicks. Sami reverses one into a Figure Four of his own but Maryse rings the bell. Since Sami isn’t all that bright, he of course falls for it, only to have Miz roll him up to retain at 14:06.

Rating: C-. Kind of a dull match as you knew a lot of Sami’s near falls weren’t going anywhere. I can go for Miz and Maryse teaming up to steal wins though and it’s a big reason why he’s been an awesome Intercontinental Champion. This would also help play into Sami’s heel turn nearly a year later as he would get tired of losing while playing by the rules. Makes sense, especially in a long term form.

Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles are bickering over being teammates tonight when Shane McMahon comes in and tells them to cool it so Smackdown doesn’t lose again.

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Raw: Enzo Amore/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson, New Day, Shining Stars

Smackdown: American Alpha, Breezango, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Hype Bros, Usos

A fall eliminates both members of a team. Enzo and Cass suck up to the live crowd, as you might expect. New Day and Slater/Rhyno are the respective champions. Fandango tries to give everyone a fashion ticket to start, earning himself a Midnight Hour for the elimination at 44 seconds. New Day spends too much time celebrating though and it’s a superkick from Jimmy to pin Big E. at 1:08.

Gallows comes in to punch Jimmy in the face before handing it off to Cass for the tall power. The fast tags continue as it’s off to Epico vs. Ryder (who is rocking some old school Survivor Series logo trunks) with Mojo coming in for a clap around the ears. Rawley gets taken down into the corner for the huge group beating though as we keep trying to get everyone in. It’s back to Ryder (not Slater like the fans want) but Gallows saves Anderson from the Broski Boot. Instead it’s the Magic Killer to pin Ryder at 5:08.

Gable comes in as Graves talks about how scared he is of American Alpha. It doesn’t seem to be the most valid fear to start though as Epico takes Gable down into a chinlock. Some rolling suplexes have Gable in more trouble and Primo comes in with a springboard ax handle to the ribs. He misses a charge in the corner though and it’s off to Jordan for a quick Steiner Bulldog to get rid of the Stars at 8:08.

The six remaining teams (Enzo/Big Cass, Cesaro/Sheamus, Gallows and Anderson vs. American Alpha, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Usos) come in at once as everything breaks down. That means Enzo gets tossed over the top onto a big pile….which was mainly Raw guys but whatever. Rhyno gets thrown over the top as well, only to have Slater add an even bigger dive. Back in and Cesaro swings Jordan but Gable makes the save with a Rolling Chaos Theory.

Gable isn’t done though as Jordan throws him over the top for a HUGE flip dive onto everyone. Sweet goodness those two were awesome together. I mean, not as awesome as Jordan on his own with Kurt Angle kind of around but still. Back in and it’s a quick Magic Killer to get rid of Jordan at 10:39 as the eliminations are still flying. A spinebuster plants Slater and he’s caught in the wrong corner.

Sheamus won’t tag Cesaro (this was before their ridiculous matching outfits) and an argument breaks out, allowing the hot tag off to Rhyno as everyone bickers. Rhyno comes in and Gores Gallows for an elimination at 12:28. Cass wastes no time with a big boot to Rhyno, followed by the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka for the pin at 12:45.

That leaves us with the Usos….who superkick Enzo down to set up the Superfly Splash and an elimination at 13:26 before I can type the Raw teams. So now we’re down to the Usos vs. Cesaro/Sheamus with the latter hitting the ten forearms (you know the chant) on Jimmy. Cesaro comes in and eats a double superkick but Sheamus Brogue kicks Jimmy with Jey making a diving save.

Super White Noise plants Jimmy again but Jey is right back with a Superfly Splash for two with Cesaro making a save of his own. The hot tag brings in Cesaro for the Uppercut Train and a 619 as the fans lose their minds over Cesaro again. A high crossbody gets two on Jey and it’s time for the Swing. Jimmy breaks up the Sharpshooter and Jey gets the Tequila Sunrise. That’s reversed right back into the Sharpshooter with Sheamus remembering he’s in the match to cut off Jimmy, leaving Jey to tap at 18:55.

Rating: B. This was during the time that I couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro (not a lot has changed in a year) but they did a lot of stuff in this match, despite the crunched timeline. Getting nine eliminations in less than nineteen minutes is a lot but you have to clear the ring out at the beginning. It’s entertaining, but hits a hard ceiling that it’s not getting past.

Stephanie and Foley decide that Sheamus and Cesaro should get a Tag Team Title shot tomorrow night. They recap the rest of the show with Stephanie getting way too serious, as usual.

Preview for TLC with Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles in a TLC match for the title.

Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick does his best Sean O’Haire impression and is ready for Kalisto. If Kalisto wins, he brings the division to Smackdown. It’s fine for a one off match but it was really hard to buy Kendrick as the best cruiserweight in the company in 2016.

Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick is defending and charges straight into a knee to the face. Kalisto is right back with a suicide dive, followed by a springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. Some rollups give Kalisto more near falls and a shotgun dropkick has Kendrick in even more trouble. A rollup into the corner finally gives Kendrick a breather and he crushes Kalisto between the steps and the apron for good measure.

Back in and we hit the cravate to slow things back down. Kalisto manages to fight up and get to the apron where he grabs a C4 out to the floor in the big crash of the match. A good looking suicide dive takes Kendrick down again but he reverses a super Salida Del Sol into the Captain’s Hook. Kalisto finally grabs the ropes and fires off some kicks, followed by the hurricanrana driver. The Salida Del Sol gets two with Kendrick getting to the ropes. Kalisto heads up top….and here’s Baron Corbin for the DQ at 12:21.

Rating: C-. The match was good at times but Kendrick really isn’t the kind of guy you want as a long term champion. It also didn’t help that you knew they weren’t changing up the cruiserweight division so close to 205 Live’s launch. Corbin interfering was fine enough, but it really does make the title match feel like a big waste of time.

The Kickoff Show panel recaps the show so far.

Daniel Bryan yells at Corbin, who doesn’t want little pests running around on Smackdown.

We recap the men’s Survivor Series match, which started in July at the second Brand Split. Naturally this is about the McMahons as Shane and Stephanie are the Commissioners and therefore they have to be fighting. We look at all the entrants as this is treated like the major match is should be treated as. Then Shane is added to the match and that notion kind of falls apart.

Raw Men’s Team vs. Smackdown Men’s Team

Raw: Braun Strowman, Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Roman Reigns

Seth Rollins

Smackdown: AJ Styles, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, Randy Orton, Shane McMahon

AJ and Owens are the World Champions, Reigns is US Champion and Ellsworth is here as the mascot. This is also during the period where Orton is part of the Wyatt Family because we needed that story to get to Orton as World Champion again. Rollins gets a nice reaction and it’s far better without BURN IT DOWN or whatever the line is. AJ and Owens start things off with Styles wasting no time in hitting the drop down into the dropkick.

That’s enough of that though as it’s and they slug it out with AJ getting the better of it. The STUPID IDIOT chants mean it’s time for Jericho, who throws his shirt at AJ and hammers away. Styles dropkicks him down again as the announcers discuss Jericho insulting Undertaker on Twitter. It’s off to Ambrose vs. Rollins, which turns into far more of a wrestling match than it should.

Rollins can’t get a Pedigree so let’s go back to Jericho. Chris yells at Dean for the $15,000 jacket issue, earning himself some really bad armdrags. An enziguri cuts Dean down for two but Ambrose is right back with a bunch of right hands to the head. Shane comes in for the first time and my interest goes down. I’m still not a fan of middle aged Shane and this isn’t likely to change things.

Shane’s bad punches and an armdrag (better than Dean’s) take Jericho down until a dropkick cuts him off. The announcers debate the TV ratings as Reigns comes in and gets booed out of the building. Roman hammers him down in the corner and Seth comes in for a chinlock. That’s broken up so let’s go with Dean vs. Kevin. Owens hits a superkick but gets caught in a hurricanrana, only to have Jericho break up Dirty Deeds.

Everything breaks down and Strowman tags himself in, leaving the fans to chant for Ellsworth. The fight heads outside with Dean being left alone in the ring until Strowman catches his slingshot dive. Strowman walks him around the ring until AJ’s slingshot forearm to the floor breaks it up. Owens dives onto everyone and Strowman tosses Shane across the ring in a pretty good power display.

Some double teaming doesn’t do much to stop Strowman but they manage to knock him outside. That’s enough of Dean and Ambrose working together so they get in a fight, allowing Strowman to hit the running powerslam for the pin on Dean at 15:57. AJ was looking right at the cover and didn’t move. Shane gets to beat on Strowman for a bit but thankfully he gets hammered down as well.

The Phenomenal Forearm is pulled out of the air with AJ being tossed outside in a nasty heap. Orton gets thrown aside too but a stare from Bray stops Strowman in his tracks. Strowman grabs Jericho by the throat but decides to run Bray over instead, followed by a dropkick to put him on the floor. Braun goes outside as well but runs into an RKO onto the announcers’ table. After we pause to see what a random eight year old fan thought of it (he was applauding), Shane drops the top rope elbow to put Strowman through said table. That and Ellsworth grabbing Braun’s foot get Strowman counted out at 21:18.

Strowman catches Ellsworth running up the ramp though (How slow is this guy?) and throws him off the stage through some tables. Everyone else is mostly dead until Jericho covers Shane for two. Owens is fresh enough to drop the backsplash on Shane for two (but only after mocking the dance). There’s the Lionsault but Shane gets two of his own off a small package.

Shane takes a Codebreaker but Orton comes in before the cover, meaning Shane survives another finisher. He avoids a top rope splash though and it’s off to AJ to work on Jericho. With Owens getting in an insult to AJ’s hair (too far man), Jericho counters the Styles Clash into a failed Walls attempt. The Phenomenal Blitz rocks Jericho but Owens comes in with the List of Jericho to blast AJ. That’s a DQ at 29:23, but not before he gives AJ a Pop Up Powerbomb.

Orton gets the tag and comes in with the RKO to get rid of Jericho at 30:19. Notice Reigns blankly staring up at the ramp and not hearing the RKO RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. So it’s down to Shane/AJ/Orton/Wyatt vs. Reigns/Rollins with Orton hammering on Rollins to start. Wyatt and Orton take turns on Seth as Shane is still laid on the apron after his long time in the ring. The superplex takes Rollins down (looks great too) but it allows the hot tag to Reigns. AJ comes in as well and MY GOODNESS the fans do not like Reigns.

House is cleaned with a series of Samoan drops, followed by a great looking Razor’s Edge powerbomb for two on AJ. Seriously that was good enough to cut off the booing. A Pele cuts off a Superman Punch and it’s back to Shane for no logical reason. Shane gets in a tornado DDT to drop Reigns and a clothesline takes Rollins down. Reigns tries a spear but gets awkwardly countered into the post.

In probably the spot of the match, Shane loads up Coast to Coast but gets speared out of the air for a SICK landing. Shane actually kicks out at two but you can see that he is completely gone. Like Lesnar after the botched shooting star gone. The referee says Shane is eliminated at 37:07, presumably due to his brains looking like a pie that has been run over by a bus driven by raccoons.

We pause for a bit as doctors get Shane out of the ring until Roman blasts Bray with a clothesline. Rollins and AJ get stereo hot tags with Seth’s Blockbuster putting Styles down. There’s the slingshot knee to AJ and a suicide dive to Wyatt. With Reigns down on the floor, let’s hit that ROMAN’S SLEEPING chant! Still one of my favorites because the fans just will not give him a break no matter what. An enziguri staggers AJ on top and now it’s WAKE UP ROMAN. Reigns does in fact wake up and saves Rollins from a hanging DDT on the floor.

With Orton down, it seems as good a time as any for a DoubleBomb. Styles makes a save before it can be loaded up but here’s Ambrose to jump Styles again. The fans call Dean a STUPID IDIOT as the former Shield beats up security. NOW the TripleBomb puts AJ through the table, allowing Rollins to get the pin at 47:00. It’s down to two on two with the Wyatts vs. the Shield (not the worst idea in the world)….and here’s Luke Harper for a distraction so the Wyatts can take over.

Reigns posts Orton but Harper superkicks him down, only to have Rollins score with a flip dive to the floor. Back in and the low superkick hits Wyatt but he dives into an RKO, giving Bray the pin at 49:25. Reigns, all alone, sends both of them outside and takes Harper out as a bonus. Back in and Orton eats a spear to save Wyatt, leaving Bray to grab Sister Abigail for the pin at 52:50.

Rating: A. This is a great example of a match that benefits from all of the time it had. What I loved about this was how long it took to take someone out. Most of the people in here were former World Champions and it doesn’t make sense to have them losing in a minute or two like in the other matches. They let the match build up for a change and that’s what makes this feel important.

Above all else though, this felt like someone surviving instead of whoever was left last. Look at the women’s match. Bayley barely looked like she had been through anything at the end. Orton and Wyatt looked banged up, which is how they should after a match like this. It’s a well put together match that got the kind of time it needed, which is exactly how something like this should be. Really strong stuff here with Bray, who actually needed it, getting the win.

We recap Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. Goldberg was being interviewed about being in WWE2K16 and said he didn’t owe Lesnar a rematch. Lesnar challenged him though and Goldberg wanted his son to see him wrestle. The match was on and it does indeed feel like a battle of two people who could kill each other.

Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg

We get the full Goldberg entrance, complete with someone knocking on his door. Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Goldberg shoves him right back down, scaring the heck out of Lesnar in the process. Back up and the spear connects to drop Lesnar again. There’s a second spear, followed by a Jackhammer to give Goldberg the huge upset at 1:25.

Yeah I still don’t like it. Sure it was shocking and a huge moment, but what did this set up? Goldberg eliminating Lesnar from the Rumble, Goldberg getting the most unnecessary Universal Title reign ever, and then a good sub five minute match at Wrestlemania. One of WWE’s biggest issues is giving fans something to cheer for and they give this spot to Goldberg, who they didn’t even create, for the sake of a video game (might not have been their call) and a story that could have made someone’s career. After this, Samoa Joe and Braun Strowman both fell to Lesnar, but Goldberg doesn’t. I don’t buy it, nor to I like it.

Goldberg celebrates with his family to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. One of the major perks about a match running nearly an hour on a three and a half hour show is that it can REALLY bring an overall rating up. Throw in a good women’s match and nothing really bad, this is actually a strong show. It’s far from perfect (main event aside, though that was the only thing that could have closed the show) but it’s a heck of a card, which I can always go for of course. The main issue is they could have gotten this one under three hours so it’s a bit long but nothing too bad. Really solid show though and most of that is due to the mega long match.

Ratings Comparison

Rich Swann/Noam Dar/TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Original: C

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Luke Harper

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Women’s Survivor Series Match

Original: C

Redo: C+

Miz vs. Sami Zayn

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Tag Team Survivor Series Match

Original: D+

Redo: B

Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick

Original: C

Redo: C-

Men’s Survivor Series Match

Original: A-

Redo: A

Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B+

My eyebrows went up when I saw the original overall rating. The year of mellowing on the ending have helped a lot as there’s no way this is a B-. Also I really couldn’t stand Sheamus and Cesaro back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/11/20/survivor-series-2016-there-are-no-words/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This aired on Fox Sports 1 on Tuesday so it’s worth another look.

Survivor Series 2018
Date: November 18, 2018
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,325
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s the second redo of the year and I’m not sure what that is going to mean. I remember this one a little bit better than some of the more recent shows for some reason and I’m not sure if that is a good thing or not. It’s hard to say how well these things hold up but that’s kind of what I’m going for here. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Teams vs. Raw Tag Teams

Smackdown: Usos, New Day, Sanity, Anderson And Gallows, Colons

Raw: Bobby Roode/Chad Gable, Revival, B-Team, Lucha House Party, Ascension

A suplex gives Epico two as the apron looks ridiculous with so many people up there. Hold on though as Kalisto injures his knee so it’s off to Dorado for a quick splash. Kalisto comes back in almost immediately and gets suplexed down, allowing Primo to come in and hit a basement dropkick. Primo is sent into Epico and knocks him off the apron by mistake. Dawson makes a blind tag through and it’s a quick Shatter Machine to get rid of the Colons at 3:10.

It’s off to Dain vs. Gable after we nearly got Gable vs. Big E. in the match I didn’t know I needed to see. Dain hits a quick Divide for two so it’s Young coming in for two of his own off a neckbreaker. Roode makes the save and it’s a neckbreaker/moonsault combination to finish Young at 6:32. Konnor comes in to kick Big E. in the face but gets pulled into the spanking abdominal stretch. It’s off to Woods, who gets tossed with a fall away slam in short order. Viktor grabs a chinlock but Woods fights up for a discus forearm. Just to show off, Woods lifts Big E. onto his shoulders for a splash to finish Viktor at 8:48.

The Luchas try to go after Gallows and it goes as well as you would expect. Dorado has to slip out of the Magic Killer and it’s a Stunner to Gallows. Anderson gets hurricanranaed into the ropes and it’s the Luchas hitting stereo Asai moonsaults onto Anderson and Gallows. Back in and a rope walk Swanton gets rid of Anderson at 10:40 as the apron is finally clearing out a bit.

We’re down to the Usos/New Day vs. Roode/Gable/Revival/Lucha House Party so Jimmy comes in for the first time. Dorado chops him into a rollup for two and a Lionsault gets the same. Jey comes in off a blind tag and comes pretty close to catching Dorado in a Samoa drop for the pin at 11:57.

It’s Dawson coming in to grab Woods and a Wilder distraction lets him get in a cheap shot to really take over. Dawson misses a charge though and Woods hits a dropkick, allowing the double tag to Big E. and Wilder. Big E. clotheslines Dawson outside but gets rolled up for two, allowing Gable to come in for a suplex. Rolling Chaos Theory into a neckbreaker gets two on Big E. and everything breaks down with Wilder hitting a tornado DDT on Woods on the floor.

That means the dive from Big E., leaving Roode and Gable alone in the ring. Roode backdrops him onto everyone else but Jey superkicks Roode down. Jey does the GLORIOUS pose and dives onto the pile rather than, you know, covering the knocked silly Roode. Just to get nuts, Gable German superplexes Jimmy onto everyone else for the big crash. Back in and Woods hits Roode with the Honor Roll, leaving Big E. to catch Gable’s moonsault. That means UpUpDownDown to finish Gable at 18:33 but Dawson sends Big E. outside.

Woods goes up for the rope walk….undetermined move that is countered into the Shatter Machine to tie us up at 19:31. It’s the Usos vs. Revival and a slugout goes to the non-brothers. A reverse powerbomb/top rope clothesline (felt like a Steiner Bulldog with some miscommunication) gets two on Jey so Jimmy enziguris Dawson. Wilder is back up though and we go old school with a PowerPlex for two as Jey has to make a diving save. The Shatter Machine is broken up and it’s a bunch of superkicks to set up the Superfly Splash (with a Roman Reigns fist pump on the way down) for the pin at 23:15.

Rating: C. It was fun once they got down to the last bit but sweet goodness there was too much going on here. There is only so much you can do with enough people for a nice battle royal at first, plus seconds on the floor. It’s an idea that makes sense but when so many of these teams are looked at as jokes, they would have been better off cutting this in half and doing individual eliminations. Still though, perfectly watchable, especially once they got rid of the dead weight.

The opening video focuses entirely on the battle for Brand Supremacy because that’s all this show is about anymore. Even the huge champion vs. champion matches are just part of Raw vs. Smackdown.

Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women

Raw: Mickie James, Nia Jax, Tamina, Bayley, Sasha Banks

Smackdown: Carmella, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Asuka

The injured Alexa Bliss and Naomi are the captains, which is Naomi comes out second for her team. This is fallout from the moment of the year with Becky Lynch and Smackdown invading Raw, setting up Nia Jax punching Becky in the face and putting her on the shelf, setting up the main event of Wrestlemania and changing their careers forever. It’s funny how that works somehow no?

Naomi and Tamina start things off as the fans want Becky. A dropkick sends Tamina into the ropes and everything breaks down in a hurry. Naomi’s Disaster Kick puts Nia on the floor but Tamina hits a superkick to get rid of Naomi at 1:21. Carmella is right back in to roll Tamina up and get us down to 4-4 at 1:32. The fall leaves Carmella alone in the ring so DANCE BREAK.

Nia comes in behind her and Carmella’s rollup has no effect, as expected. Therefore it’s off to Mandy, who gets taken down with a single knee. That means it’s Mickie coming in for two off a neckbreaker but Mandy is right back up with an abdominal stretch. That’s broken up in a hurry though and it’s off to a quickly escaped Muta Lock. Asuka comes in to face Mickie, which Cole says is a match everyone would want to see. Then watch it from Takeover: Toronto on the Network!

Asuka starts with the hip attack into the dance, setting up the Octopus Hold. Sonya comes in to charge into Mickie’s boot and a snapmare takes her down. Bayley tags herself in and Mickie is rather annoyed, even as Banks comes in for the double knees in the corner. Now it’s Mickie tagging herself back in for the super Thesz press but Sonya knees her in the face. That should finish but Mandy tags herself in and steals the elimination at 7:38.

Sonya doesn’t know what to think, even as Bayley runs in for two off a rollup. The Moon Walk DDT lets Carmella mock Banks but she walks into the Bayley to Belly for the elimination at 9:12. Mandy comes in and stomps away at Bayley as the announcers get into their usual bickering session that has nothing to do with the match. Bayley kicks her away and brings in Banks to take over in a hurry, including the Bank Statement for the tap at 10:49.

Asuka comes in and takes over on Banks, allowing Sonya to grab a bodyscissors and shout a lot. That doesn’t last long either as it’s Banks getting up and bringing in Bayley for the waving running knee in the corner. A spinebuster gives Sonya two with Jax making the save and earning some of the loudest booing of her career.

Jax goes shoulder first into the post and Asuka kicks her to the floor, only to get caught by the Meteora from Banks. Bayley and Sonya tackle each other to the floor and it’s a Bayley to Belly….but neither can beat the count at 15:18. That leaves us with Nia/Sasha vs. Asuka with Banks coming in for the team. Asuka knocks her down and shows off the Smackdown top before hitting a knee to the face. A heck of a German suplex puts Banks down and a hip attack knocks Jax off the apron.

Banks trips her up to send Asuka into the apron but she’s right back with a missile dropkick for two. The Asuka Lock is broken up and the running knees in the corner crush Asuka again. Banks goes up but Nia shoves her off the top for some reason, meaning it’s the Asuka Lock for the tap at 19:36. Nia comes in and drops a bunch of legs before finishing with the Samoan drop at 20:15.

Rating: C. You have to remember that Nia was public enemy #1 at this point and pushing her as the monster like this made sense. Normally I would complain about pushing someone who has a history of injuring people and who is hardly interesting in the first place, but WWE has shown their love for Jax for a long time and no amount of complaining is going to change a thing.

Raw – 1

Smackdown – 0

Stephanie McMahon, in that instantly irritating way of speaking, tells Acting General Manager Baron Corbin that he better win the rest of the matches if he wants to have the job permanently. Shane McMahon and General Manager Paige come in and suggest Raw will be feeling blue. More trash talk ensues with Shane looking forward to Corbin being fired. This kind of banter is just horrible and feels so forced, which is why it almost never goes away in WWE.

Seth Rollins vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Raw (Intercontinental) vs. Smackdown (United States) champion vs. champion here. Yes Nakamura is wrestling in the blue shirt over his jumpsuit, because A BIG BLUE JUMPSUIT doesn’t tell you which brand he is on. Rollins goes after the arm to start but Nakamura slips out and invites Rollins to COME ON. The wristlocking is back on as they seem to have a lot of time here.

A way too early missed Kinshasa attempt lets Rollins do his own COME ON. The threat of a ripcord knee sends Nakamura to the apron and Rollins onto the top for some lounging. Nakamura sends him to the apron though and it’s the slingshot Fameasser over the ropes to put Nakamura on the floor. That means the suicide dive, but since that is the most obvious move ever, it gets cut off with a kick to the face instead.

Back in and Nakamura works on a double chickenwing, plus a front facelock to mix it up a bit. Rollins fights up and sends him into the corner, setting up the Sling Blade for a breather. Nakamura gets thrown outside for the back to back suicide dives but two is a nasty number in wrestling so there’s a third. The springboard clothesline gets two back inside and things slow down a bit. Rollins’ suplex is escaped and Nakamura kicks him in the face, followed by the running knee to the ribs in the corner.

A Backstabber….doesn’t do much for Nakamura as Rollins is right back up with a superkick for two. Rollins slugs away but his clothesline is countered into a triangle. Since it’s Rollins, the traditional powerbomb counter is swapped for a Buckle Bomb instead, which at least gives us some variety. The ripcord knee is broken up again and Nakamura’s Landslide gets two. In a bit of a rare move, Nakamura goes up top, earning himself the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for a nice near fall.

They slug it out with Nakamura daring him to swing harder so it’s a reverse exploder to drop Rollins. Kinshasa misses though and it’s the ripcord knee for a close two. The frog splash misses though and Nakamura’s running knee to the back of the head gives him his own two. Nakamura still can’t hit Kinshasa so Rollins superkicks him, only to miss the Stomp. Kinshasa misses again though and it’s the Stomp to give Rollins the pin at 21:27.

Rating: B. It was very good though I was left wanting and expecting more. These two can be great against each other, though it is another case of Nakamura never rising up to that next level. He is still very entertaining and someone worth watching almost every time, but his big matches always feel a bit disappointing. Still though, rather hard hitting back and forth match, which is exactly why these two were out there. It’s rather good, just not great.

Raw – 2

Smackdown – 0

Braun Strowman doesn’t like his partners on the Raw men’s team and he doesn’t even know who Bobby Lashley is. If they don’t help him win tonight, they’re getting these hands. Drew McIntyre says he’s in charge and violence is about to ensue so here’s Corbin to remind Strowman that he can’t touch him. Instead, Strowman throws Lio Rush at Corbin to let off some steam. Cue R-Truth for the pep talk, until he is reminded that he’s not on the team. Confused R-Truth may be one of my all time favorite gags.

The Bar vs. AOP

Smackdown vs. Raw in a battle of the Tag Team Champions with Big Show and Drake Maverick as the thirds. Rezar throws Sheamus into the corner to start as Byron accuses Drake of drinking….cuckoo juice? The Bar gets in some double teaming on Akam and, after the catchphrase, the Swing has to be broken up. Akam takes the Swing instead, only to have Rezar come back in for the backbreaker/middle rope stomp combination to take over.

The chinlock goes on before Akam just powers Cesaro down and hammers away. Rezar knees Cesaro in the face for two so Sheamus tries to come in, allowing Cesaro to grab a rollup for….well nothing actually as the referee is with Sheamus. Not the best plan there man. Cesaro’s uppercuts don’t do much good as Rezar takes him right back down and grabs a chinlock.

That’s broken up as well and it’s the springboard uppercut to allow the tag to Sheamus. House is cleaned in a hurry, including the Brogue Kick to Rezar with Maverick putting the foot on the rope. The chase is on until Cesaro knocks Maverick down, allowing Show to grab him. Maverick is so scared that he, ahem, relieves himself in fear. Back in and the powerbomb/neckbreaker combination finishes Sheamus at 9:04.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring power match with both teams only going in spurts until the big joke of an ending. There is only so far you can go with that as the big joke and you can imagine where things are going to go as a result. I mean, the fact that this show is now a year old makes it easier to figure out, but that doesn’t make it better.

Raw – 3

Smackdown – 0

The Miz has Shane McMahon fire up Team Smackdown. R-Truth is here as well to talk about getting on the Smackdown roster. He already is, which is a relief as Raw is a mess.

We recap Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy for the Cruiserweight Title. Ali won a match to become #1 contender and now we have the title match. The idea here is the champ vs. the never will be champ as Ali tries to grab the brass ring again. Sometimes it really can be that simple.

Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali is challenging. They start fast with Murphy’s power not exactly working as he drives Ali into the corner, only to have him flip over the champ. That means a dropkick to the floor into the big flip dive but Ali’s back is banged up. The second dive is blocked with a shove off the top into the barricade, followed by some rams into the apron. A heck of a backdrop sets up the chinlock with a knee in the back until Ali jawbreaks his way out of trouble.

The rolling X Factor is countered with a show to the floor though and Murphy hits his own running flip dive. Back in and Ali scores with a superkick into a tornado hanging DDT (awesome) for his own two. The 054 (I miss that) is broken up with a shove to the floor and this time it’s Ali’s face hitting the apron on the way down.

Murphy loads up the announcers’ table but Ali hits a Spanish Fly down to the floor again because he’s crazy and can do stuff like that. Back in and Murphy is fine enough to hit a superkick into a pair of powerbombs for two before kneeing him out of the air. Murphy’s Law retains the title at 12:20.

Rating: B-. It was entertaining, it was hard hitting, and almost no one cared because there is little reason to be interested in 205 Live. The wrestling can be very entertaining and some of the matches are great, but the show is as important as a bicycle to a fish. That has been a problem since the show debuted and it isn’t going to get better in the future.

When asked about his recent heel turn, Daniel Bryan….just smiles.

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Raw: Finn Balor, Drew McIntyre, Bobby Lashley, Braun Strowman, Dolph Ziggler

Smackdown: Shane McMahon, The Miz, Rey Mysterio, Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy

Corbin (at ringside but not on the team) and M are the captains. Strowman and McIntyre nearly get in a fight before the bell but Strowman gets to start….until McIntyre tags himself in after about three seconds. The Koquina Clutch has Drew in early trouble but he backflips out and Claymores Joe for the pin at 37 seconds. I’m going to assume Joe was hurt (again), or we need Shane to get more ring time.

After a quick meeting, Hardy comes in second with the fans going to the DELETE chants in a hurry. Jeff tries running around a bit, earning himself a hard clothesline so Ziggler can come in. Shane tags himself in for a rematch of Crown Jewel, because that nightmare needs to be touched on again. A dropkick rocks Shane, who is right back with some armdrags. The Fameasser gets two but Shane scores with a spinning elbow. The jumping elbow is countered into the Zig Zag but Miz makes his own save.

Strowman comes in but McIntyre tags himself in again, meaning it’s on in a hurry. For some reason Smackdown breaks it up so they can gang up on Strowman, who isn’t having it. Rey manages a 619 though and they head outside with Strowman getting knocked onto the announcers’ table. The big Shane elbow knocks them both out, because WE NEED TO GET THAT IN. Back in and Miz kicks Drew down for one as we see Paige and Stephanie watching backstage. As long as they don’t talk, I’m good.

McIntyre gets away to go over for the tag….but he won’t do it, even as Balor yells at him to make the tag. Instead McIntyre smacks Miz in the face, allowing Balor to tag himself in. Balor kicks McIntyre down before kicking Miz in the head, followed by the baseball slide. Back in and the Sling Blade rocks Rey and a dropkick puts him in the corner. The Coup de Grace misses though and it’s a 619 into the springboard splash to tie it up at 12:04.

McIntyre is right there to deck the eliminated Balor so Lashley tags himself in to throw Rey into the corner. The delayed vertical suplex is delayed too long though as Rey rolls out and hits an enziguri. It’s Ziggler’s turn to tag himself in so Rey faceplants him and brings in Hardy. Everything breaks down and Hardy tornado DDTs McIntyre on the floor, allowing Ziggler to grab the running DDT for two on Jeff. The rapid pace comeback is on for Jeff, but the Swanton hits raised knees.

For some reason this hurts the knees this time so Mysterio is able to bring Miz in. The beating is on in the corner and it’s Shane coming back in for Coast to Coast to eliminate Ziggler and cement Shane as Best in the World (remember he beat Ziggler in the finals) to make it 4-3 at 18:10.

Lashley is back in to suplex Shane right over to Miz, who gets beaten up this time around. Miz gets in a few shots of his own to set up the running clothesline. It’s back to Shane for ANOTHER Coast to Coast, though thankfully Strowman chops him out of the air. Strowman comes in and wastes no time with the powerslam to eliminate Hardy at 20:45. That leaves Strowman/McIntyre/Lashley vs. Mysterio/Miz/McMahon, and the powerslam takes Mysterio out at 21:26.

Miz starts to panic (Graves: “Does this mean there won’t be a Marine 7”) and it’s another powerslam for the pin at 22:27. Shane is alone against the monsters and you can feel the fans panicking from here. Shane pulls himself up to face Strowman and says bring it on, so Strowman dropkicks him into the corner (Graves: “A T-REX DROPKICK!”) and hits the third powerslam for the pin at 24:01.

Rating: D+. This doesn’t hold up as it’s another Shane showcase, with one big spot after another and Shane getting to go out there and look like the toughest man in the company. Raw winning was more confusing than anything else as it already guarantees them the night, but they did have me believing that they might have had Shane pull the miracle. Consider that great selling or really sad.

Raw – 4

Smackdown – 0

Post match Corbin jumps Strowman and poses with McIntyre and Lashley.

Here’s how to help victims of the California wildfires. Nothing wrong with that.

Seth Rollins has been focused on Dean Ambrose as of late but for tonight, he’s due for an ice bath and some cold ones. Charly tells him that he has to defend the Intercontinental Title against Ambrose at TLC. Rollins likes the idea because Ambrose will have nothing left to hide behind.

We recap Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey. This was supposed to be Becky Lynch vs. Rousey but then destiny happened in the form of the mega brawl on Raw and Becky’s face being broken. Becky picked Charlotte to take her place, which was out of left field but they didn’t have another option.

Ronda Rousey vs. Charlotte

Raw vs. Smackdown Women’s Champion so we get the Big Match Intros. Rousey (with the ridiculous eye makeup) starts swinging early so Charlotte grabs her by the ropes and throws her down. The armbar is blocked and Charlotte has to flip out of Piper’s Pit to get us to a standoff. Charlotte grabs a headlock and sends her face first into the bottom buckle to really take over for the first time. It’s time to start on the leg as Rousey is bleeding from the mouth.

She’s fine enough for an enziguri to get a breather and what looked like a triangle over the top has Charlotte in trouble for a change. Charlotte crotches her on top but Rousey is right back with a triangle. That’s reversed into a Boston crab but Natural Selection is blocked. The armbar is blocked again so Charlotte goes up, only to have the moonsault hit raised boots. Rousey spends too much time yelling though and gets speared in half for two.

The Figure Four goes on until Rousey turns it over, with Rousey managing to talk trash while screaming at the same time. They roll to the floor and Rousey is all fired up, meaning it’s time to start striking away. Some chops knock Rousey into the corner and Rousey looks shaken for the first time.

Another chop is blocked so Charlotte gets two off a big boot. Rousey is right back with a hurricanrana and Piper’s Pit but Charlotte gets away from the armbar again. It’s time for a breather on the floor and Charlotte is smart enough to break the count for an extra break. Rousey isn’t waiting so she goes out after her, only to walk into a kendo stick shot from Charlotte for the DQ at 14:10.

Rating: A-. This felt like the main event level match that they were hoping for, which is all the more impressive given Rousey’s complete lack of experience. She knows how to feel like a big deal and Charlotte having to use her natural abilities to counter all of the submissions was a great story. Charlotte snapping and admitting that she can’t beat Rousey worked perfectly too and I had a great time with this all around.

Raw – 5

Smackdown – 0

Post match the beating is on with the referee having to take the chair away from Charlotte. She isn’t done though and it’s Natural Selection onto the chair to knock Ronda silly. Charlotte beats up the referees trying to make the save and wraps the chair around Rousey’s neck. Pillmanizing ensues and Charlotte’s eyes are bugging out. Fans: “THANK YOU CHARLOTTE!” Rousey takes a long time to get up but does it on her own, because PILLMANIZING SOMEONE’S NECK IS A FIVE MINUTE ANNOYANCE!

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan, which is a rapid fire change as Bryan only turned heel and won the title five days before this show. Therefore, the entire video is about Bryan’s turn, setting up the match here. It was annoying, but since WWE didn’t want AJ losing to Brock, they had him lose to Bryan instead. That is the kind of logic only WWE can go with and no, it still doesn’t sound like an intelligent idea.

Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar

Battle of the World Champions with Brock trying to complete the Raw sweep. Bryan mocks Lesnar during his entrance and smiles a lot. A running dropkick to Lesnar’s knee starts things off as the mind games are on. Bryan heads outside for a run around the ring so Lesnar follows him, only to have Bryan run back inside and mocks Brock’s bounce. Brock comes back in and hits Bryan in the face as things change in a hurry.

The first German suplex has Bryan nearly done on the apron so Brock starts a SUPLEX CITY chant in a great heel move. The second German suplex has Heyman worried and the third has Bryan rocked again. An overhead belly to belly puts Bryan on the floor and Lesnar even gets to pose with the title. Brock throws him hard into the barricade and we hit the bearhug with Cole saying this isn’t about brand supremacy anymore. Then what the heck is it about now Cole? And what has the last hour and a half been about?

More suplexes ensue and the fans are not happy with the repetitive Lesnar offense. The second bearhug makes it even worse and Brock throws another overhead belly to belly. The F5 connects (Brock: “Goodnight everybody!”) but Brock pulls him up at two. Bryan kicks him in the face twice and, after a ref bump, gets in a low blow. The running knee connects for two (how Bryan won the title) so Bryan kicks away to put Brock down in the corner.

A bunch of stomps to the face have Brock stunned and Bryan low bridges him to the floor. The slingshot dive is pulled out of the air but Bryan slips out and posts him. Bryan tries the suicide dive though and gets posted hard to cut off the big rally. The steps are picked up but only hit the post, allowing Bryan to hit another knee. Back in and another running knee gives Bryan another two as Heyman is losing his mind.

Bryan switches gears by going after the knee with a chop block and a wrap around the post. Lesnar is sent into the corner for the running dropkicks (or a running knee and a running attack from Cole) but he pulls Bryan into the F5….as the knee gives out. The YES Lock goes on but Bryan makes the mistake of switching to a triangle, which is reversed into the F5 for the pin at 18:43.

Rating: B+. It’s nearly a copy of the same match that Brock had with AJ last year but it was still a heck of a fight with Bryan coming close to picking up the upset. That being said, it’s still the brand new WWE Champion losing clean five days after he won the title. I know WWE MUST DO THE BRAND SUPREMACY deal but was there really no better option for something like this? Like AJ vs. Brock II with a countout or something? Annoying, but at least it came after an awesome match.

Raw – 6

Smackdown – 0

Bryan smiles at Lesnar to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Well they threw the Brand Supremacy stuff out the window at about the halfway point, leaving the wrestling to carry the rest. As luck would have it, the last two matches were awesome and left me wanting more so well done all around there. Some of the matches aren’t that great with no particularly good Survivor Series matches, but what we got for the rest of the show was quite entertaining, even if the core concept was lost.

Ratings Comparison

Raw Tag Teams vs. Smackdown Tag Teams

Original: D+

2019 Redo: C

Smackdown Women vs. Raw Women

Original: C

2019 Redo: C

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B

2019 Redo: B

AOP vs. The Bar

Original: C-

2019 Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Buddy Murphy

Original: B

2019 Redo: B

Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men

Original: C+

2019 Redo: D+

Charlotte vs. Ronda Rousey

Original: B

2019 Redo: A-

Brock Lesnar vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A-

2019 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2019 Redo: B

The two main events almost swapping is interesting but, other than the men’s Survivor Series match, this is all in the same ballpark or identical.

Here is the original review if you are interested:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/18/survivor-series-2018-layeth-the-smackdown-down/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Backlash 2020
Date: June 14, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

It’s back to pay per view again and this time it’s not a themed show. The main event certainly has a theme though, as Edge and Randy Orton are supposed to have the Greatest Wrestling Match Ever. I’m not sure if anyone actually sees that as being a realistic possibility, but it’s a heck of a tagline. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Andrade vs. Apollo Crews

Andrade is challenging and has Zelina Vega and Angel Garza with him. Hold on though as here’s Kevin Owens (with a tie) to join commentary. Crews misses the dropkick to start and gets caught in a headlock as Owens accuses Garza of not being so angelic. Andrade chokes on the rope and they head outside where Crews backdrops him onto the ramp. The apron moonsault connects and Andrade is rocked early on.

Back in and the release Falcon Arrow gives Crews two but Andrade drop toeholds him face first into the middle buckle. The Alberto double stomp misses and Crews grabs an overhead belly to belly into the corner. Crews suplexes him to the apron and Andrade gets in a slingshot DDT for two. Back up and Crews hits the gorilla press into the standing moonsault. Owens cuts off Garza and the toss powerbomb retains the title at 7:23.

Rating: C-. Totally run of the mill Raw match here though Owens as a potential challenger is interesting. He’s needed something to do since Wrestlemania (and yes the injury slowed him down) so a US Title run could be interesting. Just do something of note with him for the sake of not having him float around. Crews doesn’t seem like a long term champion, but at least he didn’t lose the title immediately.

The opening video is all about Edge vs. Orton, complete with clips of other great matches. The two World Title matches apparently aren’t important enough to warrant even a clip.

Bayley and Sasha Banks are ready to defend the Women’s Tag Team Titles. After dubbing herself Bayley Dos Straps (I didn’t know you could use that word), Bayley says nothing is stopping her friendship with Sasha. If Kayla has another stupid question like that, get Charly Caruso to ask it. Burn…..maybe?

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. IIconics vs. Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss

Bayley and Banks are defending and Cole makes it clear that you can only tag your own partner. Nikki slugs away at Billie and Bayley to start but the double teaming slows her down. Everyone tags out and it’s a six way staredown for a second. An exchange of rollups gets a bunch of near falls and then more rollups get more near falls to change things up. Everyone comes in again until Bliss sends Peyton into Banks in the corner.

Peyton spinwheel kicks Cross down and Banks brings in Bayley as Cole lists off all of the titles that Bayley has won over the years. Bayley grabs Billie in a wheelbarrow so Banks can hit a running knee for two with Nikki making a save. Nikki sends Bayley into Billie and it’s back to Bliss to clean house. Everything breaks down and Royce crossbodies Bliss and Banks off the apron onto everyone else. Back in and Twisted Bliss hits Peyton but Banks steals the rollup on Bliss to retain at 8:49.

Rating: C. The match was non-stop action for the most part but it was so fast paced that it got messy by the end. That’s almost always going to be the case with this many people flying around the match at once and that’s not always the best idea. They’ve done a nice job of rebuilding the division in a hurry though and it’s because of a really simple idea: have people fight over the titles. I have no idea if this is going to last (it probably won’t) but it has been a nice few weeks for the belts. Or straps as Bayley now calls them.

Braun Strowman came to work earlier today.

Extreme Rules is on July 19.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus. Hardy is back after a knee injury and Sheamus doesn’t like him for having so many personal demons. Sheamus may have framed him for a drunk driving crash that took out Elias but Hardy swears he was framed. Then there was some stuff with bodily fluids to bring things down a good bit.

Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus

Hardy grabs a headlock to start as his artistic way of expressing his anger at someone who almost cost him everything. The slingshot dropkick in the corner connects but Sheamus comes straight back with the running shot to the face. They head outside with Hardy diving off the steps to take him down and, after a painful obvious spot call, sends Sheamus back inside. Hardy teases using the steps but Sheamus catches him on the way back in and drives the elbows into the back of the neck.

Sheamus drops Hardy onto the top and the knee hits the post for a nasty crash. A middle rope knee gives Sheamus two and, after calling the fans enablers, he plants Hardy with some Irish Curses for the same. Sheamus hits a nasty running knee to the face and the chinlock goes on, complete with some rakes to the eyes. Hardy fights up with a belly to back suplex but Sheamus cuts him down with a clothesline.

The top rope clothesline misses though and Hardy hits the Whisper in the Wind for two of his own. The legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick gets two and Hardy adds a mule kick. Hardy’s Sling Blade lets him go up top but Sheamus meets him on the rope. That’s broken up but Sheamus blocks the dive and hits White Noise for two. Hardy’s knee is banged up so Sheamus slaps on the Texas Cloverleaf.

Hardy makes the rope so Sheamus starts kicking at the knee and adds the forearms to the chest. Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post though and the Swanton connects for two with Sheamus getting his foot on the rope. They head outside with Hardy trying the run off the barricade but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him out of the air. Back in and another Brogue Kick connects to give Sheamus the pin 16:45.

Rating: B-. Pretty good power vs. speed match here but it’s pretty clear that they are heading for a gimmick rematch at Extreme Rules. I’m almost scared to imagine what that is going to be given how they have set things up so far, but hopefully we can get something as lame as a tables match or something instead. Hardy being knocked backwards and then overcoming the odds will be fine. It’s not like losing to Sheamus is some big upset.

Miz and Morrison aren’t happy with hearing that if they beat Braun Strowman, the winner will be the sole Universal Champion. Otis comes in to say they might not be champion that long. Mandy Rose clarifies that Otis means they might not be champion that long.

We recap Asuka vs. Nia Jax. Asuka won Money in the Bank to become champion and Nia is being her usual jerk of a self. Title match ensues.

Raw Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Asuka

Asuka is defending and goes for the sleeper early. That’s broken up and Nia hits a headbutt, only to have Asuka grab an Octopus in the middle of the ring. Nia powers out without much trouble and, after shrugging off a Fujiwara armbar attempt, runs Asuka over with straight power. The spinebuster sets up a cobra clutch but Asuka is back with a guillotine.

Nia powers out with a Jackhammer for two but Asuka scores with the Shining Wizard for the same. A middle rope dropkick gets two and there’s the running hip attack for two more. Jax grabs a sitout powerbomb for two of her own and Asuka goes for the armbar. That sends them outside where Asuka grabs the armbar again. The hold takes some time though and Asuka kicks her in the head, only for both of them to get counted out at 8:25.

Rating: C. It was a fun match while it lasted with Asuka trying to take down the monster, but it’s a little hard to get invested in the feud when the monster has been slayed so many times before. It feels like we’ve seen the same Jax story over and over and that can get old in a hurry. Not a bad match at all, but I’m not really wanting to see them fight again, especially if they manage to get Charlotte involved.

MVP is getting Bobby Lashley’s celebration ready when Lana comes in. Lana asks why MVP has banned her from ringside for Lashley’s matches, but MVP says he didn’t do it. Go ask Lashley why, unless she’s scared of the answer.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Miz/Morrison for the Universal Title. Strowman beat both of them and then agreed to face them both at once, so they started “pranking” him, meaning destroying the windshield of his expensive car and failing to slime him. Strowman wrecked a van and is ready to destroy.

Smackdown World Title: Miz/John Morrison vs. Braun Strowman

Miz and Morrison are challenging and before the match, they show us their new music video for Hey Hey Ho Ho. Morrison is knocked into the corner without much trouble so it’s off to the terrified Miz for a kick to the face. That just annoys Strowman, who kicks Miz outside. The freight train around the ring is cut off by a dive from Morrison and the champ is in trouble for a change.

The chinlock keeps Strowman down and Miz comes in for the YES Kicks. He wants some singalong time, but the delay lets Strowman get in a chop. A charge goes into the post though and Morrison adds the Flying Chuck. The Skull Crushing Finale with a stomp from Morrison connects but they fight over who gets the pin. Miz finally lets Morrison cover but Strowman kicks him out to the floor. The chokeslam plants Miz and the running powerslam to Strowman retains the title at 8:23.

Rating: D+. So that’s about exactly what was expected and all it should have been. This was a pretty big waste of a pay per view title match (put Nakamura in there for a one off challenger if nothing else) as we’ve seen Strowman beat both of them before. Did we really need to see him beat both of them on pay per view?

We look at AJ Styles winning the Intercontinental Title over Daniel Bryan on Smackdown.

Styles promises a big title presentation on Friday and wants Bryan there. Bryan is great, but he isn’t phenomenal and has a lot to learn.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley. MVP has gotten in Lashley’s ear and made him a lot more aggressive, plus getting him his first title match in thirteen years. McIntyre knows what a threat Lashley is but is ready to fight as usual.

Raw World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is defending and MVP is here with Lashley. Before the bell, Lashley grabs the full nelson with a bodyscissors and a bunch of referees have to pull it off. McIntyre says ring the bell anyway so Lashley throws him down for two. We see Lana watching in the back as McIntyre can’t even get his gear off. Lashley hits a knee to the head and chokes on the rope (MVP: “How you feeling champ? Feeling like a loser yet? Don’t worry. It’s coming.”).

McIntyre manages to knock Lashley outside and drives him back first into the Plexiglas. A glare at MVP takes too long though and Lashley gets in a hard shot. MVP: “One, two, you hear the clock ticking.” Lashley sends McIntyre into the post but he charges into a suplex into the barricade. McIntyre muscles him up for a suplex and hits the top rope shot to the head back inside.

The spinebuster gets two but Lashley hits his own for one. Lashley grabs a lifting Downward Spiral for one more so MVP tells him to hit something McIntyre can’t kick out of. The full nelson doesn’t work so Lashley climbs to the middle rope, only to get countered with the reverse Alabama Slam for two. Lashley is right back with a Crossface but McIntyre powers up. A Tombstone is teased but Lashley slips out and grabs the ankle lock.

That’s broken up and McIntyre grabs a Kimura of all things. Lashley grabs the rope so McIntyre takes him to the top for a superplex and a big crash. The Claymore is countered with the spear for two and both MVP and Lashley are shocked. Cue Lana to get on the apron though, with McIntyre hitting the Glasgow Kiss to knock Lashley into her. The Claymore finishes Lashley at 13:15.

Rating: B. This was the match I was looking forward to in the buildup and they delivered with a good, hard hitting fight. They made this two big, strong guys beating each other up, but the Lana interference was annoying. Odds are we have a Last Man Standing match or a cage match next month, as the rematch is certainly warranted. Plus a lot of Lashley yelling at Lana of course. Oh and a lot of credit for MVP here too. I was never a fan of his back in the day but he has been pure gold in this role with Lashley.

The announcers talk about the Raw Tag Team Title match and we cut to the back where the teams are fighting near Strowman’s car. Erik is slammed through the windshield so they run off and fight into the building. We enter cinematic mode with the Profits pulling out golf clubs but the Raiders counter with shields, an axe and a bowling ball. Profits: “NO!” The chase is on again and they go into a tunnel where they agree to put their weapons down.

The Profits hits them in the face to take over, leaving Ivar with his bowling ball. Ivar flashes back to the bowling match, then rolls the ball down the tunnel between Ford’s legs. Ivar heads outside to find Erik down but Dawkins spears Ivar through a glass door. That means another flashback to bowling where they pulled a turkey leg out of the ball return. With that out of the way, Ivar wants to head outside, where they already are.

Cue a seven person motorcycle gang, as led by Akira Tozawa. He says anything you can do, we can do better, and throws his helmet at Ivar. The Raiders and the Profits huddle up (with a camera looking up at them), to say those are ninjas on bikes. They have to do this together, so a bunch of lightning strikes and they pull out red solo cups and turkey legs.

With a Viking Profits graphic coming up, they want the smoke and start beating up the ninjas with the cups and turkey legs. The ninjas are dispatched and the Viking Profits throw their fists together for a pose. Tozawa gets up to shout a lot and waves a huge ninja (as in over 7’) over. Ivar summons a turkey leg ala Captain America and the hammer in Avengers so the ninja pulls out a sword.

They climb onto the top of the production truck with Ivar not being able to keep up. Then they argue over who beat up the ninjas and start fighting again, with Dawkins diving off the truck with a bulldog to send Erik into a trashcan. Ivar throws Ford in, shouts AIR IVAR, and Swantons in after them. That means another flashback to all of the women finding Ivar cute but not so much with Erik. Cue referee Jessika Carr to say their match is next and that Ivar is cute, but not so much with Erik. Then what looks like an alligator tail appears in the trashcan and they all scramble to escape.

That was such a waste of time that I don’t know where to start. The only thing I can say is this: just wrestle. Have the two talented teams who have torn the house down before tear it down again. This match was announced earlier today and we get this stupid thing to flash back to the month long series of jokes that have left everyone involved looking goofy. The Raw Tag Team Titles haven’t been defended in over two months, but we’ve had bowling and basketball between the teams that had a non-title match before the whole thing started. Just have a freaking match already. Is that too much to ask on the wrestling show?

And no, the match isn’t taking place, because they set up the match about eight hours ago just to not do it on the pay per view.

Commentary announces that they will be offering an enhanced viewing and audio experience for the next match.

We recap Edge vs. Randy Orton. Edge won in a Last Man Standing match at Wrestlemania and now it’s a wrestling match, which will be the Greatest Wrestling Match Ever because that’s what they billed it as and that’s what it’s going to be.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

They pipe in the fake crowd noise on the entrances, just in case you were wondering what you were getting here. We get a voiceover from Howard Finkel and the old MSG microphone for the entrances as Charles Robinson is wearing the 1980s WWF referee uniform. After referee instructions, Tom instantly declares this the greatest wrestling match ever. Edge snaps off some armdrags but the third misses as Orton puts on the brakes. Orton grabs a headscissors with Edge powering out in a hurry.

They trade leapfrogs until Orton sends him outside. Edge suckers him in for a big boot though and they press play on the “crowd cheers” audio file. Back in and Edge armdrags him into an armbar (they’re playing up the history of injuries, with Edge’s neck and Orton’s shoulder), with Edge wrapping the legs around Orton’s arm. It’s off to a headlock but Orton gets up to take him into the corner and kick at the leg.

A headscissors sends Orton outside and Edge goes up, only to have Orton pop up top to meet him. Edge headbutts him down and Orton is busted open, prompting some far louder than possible THIS IS AWESOME chants from the crowd. Back in and Orton misses the RKO so Edge can grab the head and arm choke, sending Orton over to the ropes. They fight to the floor with Orton sending him into various things and then drops him onto the announcers’ table.

Back in and Orton goes with the Garvin Stomp, followed by the chinlock. That’s broken up so Orton looks up and hits two out of Three Amigos. Edge blocks the third and hits his own Three Amigos to put them both down. They head outside again with Edge being sent chest first into the post, setting up a top rope superplex back inside. Joe: “EDGE IS NOT GOOD RIGHT NOW!”

That gets two and they get back up for stereo crossbodies and another knockdown. Edge drapes him over the top and hits the Edgecution for two, followed by a knee to the face. A sliding forearm to the chest (Joe: “Stee-rike!”) gets two on Orton and a high crossbody is good for the same. Edge gets the Crossface on the shoulder he hasn’t been working on but Orton switches into a rollup for two instead. Orton snaps off an Angle Slam for two and the frustration is setting in.

Back up and Edge can’t hit an Unprettier but manages to counter the RKO into the Edge-O-Matic for two. Now the Unprettier connects for two, followed by Orton hitting a Pedigree for the same. Edge busts out a Rock Bottom for his own near fall and they’re both down again. The Edgecator is blocked and Orton hits the RKO for the closest near fall yet. Orton can’t believe it so Edge spears him down and hits a second for two, meaning it’s time for him to be stunned as well. Edge goes back to the head and arm choke but Orton goes low and hits the Punt for the win at 44:49.

Rating: B. This was a great example of a lot of the problems with WWE in a nutshell. They have some outstanding talents and wrestlers, but they can’t just let them do their thing. Instead it was over hyped, overproduced and overly long (this easily could have been trimmed down by twenty minutes) and now we’re going to hear about how great it was for the next few days. Why can’t it just stand on its own as a big match between two of the best ever?

It was a heck of a match too, with both guys working on their opponent’s weak spots and playing off the history. I could have gone without bringing in the legends’ finishers, but it tied in a bit to the legends being brought in for predictions. The problem wasn’t the wrestlers or what they did, but all of the additional weight that was put on them, which may have been a nice marketing idea on paper, but didn’t do anyone involved any favors.

Post match Orton whispers something in Edge’s ear (sounded something like telling Edge’s daughters Uncle Randy says hi but I couldn’t make it out) and Edge is helped up after a long while to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. I’m not sure what to think of this show as the wrestling was pretty good for the most part, but between the back to back cinematic matches and the feeling that it was a dress rehearsal for Extreme Rules, it was a little hard to care. It did exceed my expectations, but sweet goodness can we cool it on the cinematic matches already? It feels like we’re getting at least one per show now and that’s a good bit too much.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. IIconics and Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross – Rollup to Bliss

Sheamus b. Jeff Hardy – Brogue Kick

Asuka vs. Nia Jax went to a double countout

Braun Strowman b. Miz/John Morrison – Running powerslam to Morrison

Drew McIntyre b. Bobby Lashley – Claymore

Randy Orton b. Edge – Punt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Date: January 8, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’ve got a one match show here and that doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence. This show is all about the Elimination Chamber, with John Cena defending the Raw World Title against five challengers. The only other match of note on the card is Big Show vs. HHH, but it’s a far cry from the main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening video only focuses on the Chamber, which is all it should be doing.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Flair takes a bit too long getting ready though and Edge jumps him to start, meaning it’s some early choking in the corner. The chops get Flair out of trouble and it’s time to hammer away at the head. A quick Lita chase lets Edge hit a clothesline though and there’s a suplex on the floor. Back in and Edge stomps away in the corner before raining down the right hands.

Flair slugs away though and knocks Edge outside for the crotching on the barricade. Lita tries to make a save as Flair goes up top so he pokes her in the eye and manages to hit the top rope shot to the head. Another Lita distraction fails (this time with Flair giving her the pelvic thrusts) and Flair backdrops Edge outside. That leaves Lita to get caught in the Figure Four, only to have Edge come in with the briefcase for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it’s kind of a disappointment after Edge has been such a thorn to Edge for so long. They seemed to be setting the stage for a rematch down the line, but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. That’s not exactly a great way to go when this show is already a one note evening anyway.

Post match Flair is busted open so Edge hammers away, followed by another briefcase shot to leave him laying.

Kurt Angle and Daivari hope that America loses the war in Iraq, express their love for France, acknowledge that they don’t really like “the black people” and if there was one person Angle would want to make tap out in history, it would be Jesus. All this proves is that he can say anything he wants and fans will cheer him because he’s that awesome. He won his first title here in Albany and he’ll do it again here tonight.

Flair is just now being taken out of the ring.

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. Mickie is basically a crazed stalker who might have romantic feelings for Trish as well. They’re fighting tonight, but Mickie seems way more excited about being in the ring with Trish rather than the chance of winning the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and can’t cartwheel out of a wristlock to start. A hammerlock into a headlock keeps Trish in control so Mickie grabs the chest for the creepy escape. Mickie slips out of a hammerlock and grabs a rollup for two before kicking Trish outside. Back in and Trish kicks her hard in the head for her own knock to the floor.

Mickie gets in a shot to the face and they head back inside, with Trish chopping away. The Stratusphere into a spinebuster gets two but Mickie is back with her own Stratusfaction. That gets a delayed two but Trish is back up with a failed Stratusfaction attempt. Mickie lands on her feet, only to walk into the Chick Kick to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: B. Trish has taken a big step forward in recent months as she looked a lot more serious here and felt like a star. This came off like a fight between two people who wanted to win a match and you don’t see that in the division very often. It’s nice to see two people taking this seriously and having a serious match. It doesn’t help though when the rest of the division is Victoria and various parts of other wrestlers.

Maria interviews herself about the gauntlet match when Gregory Helms interrupts to say he’s about to get rid of Jerry Lawler.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin arrive, with Mama going to get him something nice to eat.

Edge doesn’t want to talk to fans on WWE.com.

Gregory Helms vs. Jerry Lawler

Helms armdrags him down to start so Lawler goes with the classic right hands. A backdrop gives Lawler two and he even strikes the Hurricane pose for a chuckle. That’s enough to send a frustrated Helms to the floor but he comes back in with a poke to the eye. The choking is on, followed by a suplex for what is likely the biggest spot of the match.

Helms hits a second one as commentary makes sure you know that Lawler is a former World Champion. That’s a good idea, as not only was it a different promotion, but also over fifteen years ago. Let the fans know that Lawler was a big deal in his day, as some fans aren’t going to know. We hit the neck crank into a backbreaker so Helms can go up to the middle rope.

Helms is ready for the raised boot so he stomps away again and sends Lawler outside for a posting. After a quick cameo on commentary, Helms hits a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Lawler avoids a charge into the corner though and there goes the strap. Some right hands connect and the threat of the piledriver gets the fans’ attention. That’s blocked by a backdrop though, only to have Helms get crotched on top. The fist drop gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. This was a weird one as it was set up on Monday, had almost no heat, and didn’t get any kind of a reaction outside of the piledriver tease. Then again, why in the world would you have this on pay per view with Lawler winning? Lawler can do this basic match in his sleep so it was passable from a technical sense, but I’m not sure how much sense it made.

Mickie runs into Trish at the interview room and talks about their sweaty bodies touching. Trish: “You do know you just lost right?” Mickie sits in on the interview with her.

Mama Benjamin wants some cornbread and cabbage at catering but here’s Viscera to hit on her in various ways. Mama snaps up and introduces herself, so Viscera offers to let him be her daddy. A match is set for later, and Mama takes his food.

We recap Big Show vs. HHH. Big Show cost him his Elimination Chamber qualifying match so HHH wants revenge. He crushed Show’s hand with a sledgehammer, only to have Show’s hand go into a very hard cast.

Big Show vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and Show knocks him outside with one shot. Back in and a chop brings HHH to his knees, followed by anther to put him down. The elbow drop sends HHH bailing to the floor for a second before coming back in again. This time, Show sends him flying over the corner as nothing is working so far. HHH gets in a jumping knee to the face and they head outside again but Show punches the post by mistake.

Back in and HHH sends the hand into the post to do some serious damage. Show gets back up and hits a headbutt, only to miss a charge and crash out to the floor. The cast is torn off and HHH rips at the fingers, setting up the knee to the hand. A quick armbar sets up another ram into the post but Show fights out of the top wristlock. Show knocks HHH into the referee so HHH pulls out the sledgehammer.

The bad hand breaks the hammer in half and a superkick puts HHH down. The chair doesn’t work either for HHH so he hits Show low and uses the chair on the hand. Since it’s just his hand though, Show spears HHH down on the floor. Back in and HHH manages a sledgehammer shot to the head, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a long one with HHH working on the hand for a good while before going back to the trusty sledgehammer all over again. That being said, it was rather nice to have HHH doing ANYTHING other than being in the main event all over again. I know he hasn’t been there for a good while now, but after such a long time, it feels like he is there all the time.

Chris Masters and Carlito form the alliance before the Chamber.

Lawler joins commentary.

Here are Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin with Shelton demanding an apology. Mama says no way and shouts about how Shelton is going to beat Viscera up.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Mama is very loud to start as Shelton is powered into the corner to start. A spinebuster plants Shelton again and it’s time to head outside for some Mama help. Viscera follows and beats on him a bit more, only to have Shelton get in a dropkick to the leg back inside. With Mama promising a SWEET POTATO PIE if Shelton wins, it’s time to go after the leg. Mama: “Come on you big ox.”

Viscera kicks him to the floor and it’s a Samoan drop to plant Shelton back inside. Mama: “DO I NEED TO GET THE BELT???” The big elbow gets two and there’s the spinning Samoan drop. Mama: “YOU BETTER WHOOP HIM OR I’M GONNA WHOOP YOU!” The Visagra has Mama panicking but Shelton knocks him into the ropes. Mama gets in a few purse shots, setting up the Dragon Whip for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another Raw level match but Mama was the story here. The problem is that while she was funny, she is going to get old in a hurry and that might have already started. It’s nice seeing Shelton win, but I really don’t get why he needs this kind of goofy deal to get him off the losing streak. It wasn’t the worst, but the gimmick is going to end anything Shelton has going.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shawn Michaels. Shawn says he’ll win, Vince says he won’t.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

Maria is in at #1 and Candice Michelle is in at #2. Candice breaks a nail to start and is so mad that she rips of Maria’s top. Maria evens things up as commentary makes every joke you would expect. Candice’s headscissors is countered though and Maria eliminates her. Torrie Wilson is in at #3 and runs Maria over with an elbow. Maria kicks her out to the floor though and gets rid of Torrie’s top. They roll over the referee and Torrie is so annoyed that Maria finishes her off to move on.

Victoria is in at #5 in a “Let’s get this over with” shirt. A quick standing moonsault lets Victoria eliminate Maria so here are Mae Young and Moolah to continue the oldest gag in company history. Mae takes her own top off (there are tassels on the bra) and the pants come down for a second as well. Victoria jumps Mae so they rip off her shirt….or at least try to as it gets stuck on her bra. Mae and Moolah leave so here’s Ashley at #6 to complete the field. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work and Ashley wins after about fifteen seconds in the ring.

Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make this kind of a match stupid but they managed to figure out a way to do so. Moolah and Mae stopped being funny years ago and I didn’t really need to see them again here. It’s even worse when you see how good a women’s match could be at this time, but other than Victoria, there just wasn’t anything worthwhile at this point.

Ashley takes her clothes off to celebrate.

Shelton is celebrating his win when his Mama has to tell him to watch his swearing. She references her purse helping and gives him a hug, with Shelton not being sure what to think of things.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle vs. Kane vs. Chris Masters vs. John Cena vs. Carlito

Cena is defending in the Elimination Chamber with four minute intervals. Joey talks about how he never saw anything as hardcore as this in ECW, showing that, again, WWE commentators have horrible memories. Shawn Michaels is in at #1 (as per Vince’s orders) and Cena is in at #2 (drawing a very notably mixed reaction, which is a pretty new thing for him). Shawn starts fast and throws him over the top as the dueling chants begin.

Back in and Cena hits a boot to the face, drawing even more booing. Shawn gets crotched on top and then clotheslined outside as Carlito is in at #3. Carlito jumps Cena and the place is VERY pleased, made even better as he dives over the ropes to take out Shawn. Back in and Carlito gets the biggest reactions of his career as he beats on Cena and a slightly weaker one as he suplexes Shawn.

Carlito keeps beating on both of them but a double flapjack takes them down. The double teaming is on but it’s Angle coming in at #4 for the rapid fire suplexes. Carlito and Shawn get suplexed over the top and onto the steel, followed by a catapult to send Shawn into the cage. Shawn is busted open and gets sent into the pod wall, leaving a blood stain on the Plexiglas in a cool/disturbing image. Cena fights back against Angle for a few seconds but gets knocked right back down.

There’s the ankle lock to Carlito but it’s Masters in at #5 for the safe to protect the alliance. The ankle lock (not Angle Lock Joey) has Master in trouble and then it’s even worse on Cena. Shawn breaks that up with a superkick and Angle is out in a hurry, all but guaranteeing the winner. Carlito and Masters beat up Shawn and Cena without much trouble until Kane is in at #6 (announced in advance) to start cleaning house.

Masters covers Cena for two and the comeback is on in a hurry. Masters gives Cena a DDT onto the cage, busting him open as well. The fans boo the heck out of Cena as the stomping continues instead of, you know, one of their finishers. Carlito wants the Masterlock but then hits Masters low for the rollup elimination. Cena rolls Carlito up to retain in a hurry.

Rating: D. It’s probably the worst Chamber match ever to this point and still one of the lowest on the all time list. The only realistic options to win were Cena and Angle, with Angle being gone after only a few minutes. Carlito and Masters aren’t ready to be threats to Cena so it was more a lot of sitting around waiting until we got to the finish rather than any kind of drama. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but it really wasn’t very good at all.

Hold on though because Vince McMahon is here before the lyrics in Cena’s music even start. We’re not done tonight because for the first time ever, someone is cashing in their Money in the Bank briefcase and the title is being defended RIGHT NOW.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Cena is knocked down in a hurry so Edge hits the spear for two to take the life out of the fans again. That’s fine with Edge, who spears Cena again to win the title for the first time, which is a pretty cool moment and completely appropriate for him. Still one of the best cash-ins ever (maybe the best) and perfect for the situation.

Edge and Lita (Lawler: “Behind every man, there’s a sl**.”) celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I really didn’t like this show and there was almost nothing (scheduled) worth seeing, with Mickie vs. Trish being the only good thing about the whole thing. This has been a throw away show for its two year history and having the Elimination Chamber doesn’t help all that much. Edge cashing in helps it out a lot, but it’s just a short burst at the end of a two hour and forty minute show. Maybe it can help the show going forward, and this was a lot of proof as to why it was needed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Armageddon 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re almost done with the year and we’ll wrap it up inside the Cell with Undertaker vs. Randy Orton in the final blowoff. Other than that, it’s the Raw Tag Team Champions vs. the Smackdown Tag Team Champions as Big Show/Kane face Rey Mysterio and Batista. I think you can tell they’re wrapping the year up with that second big match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about Undertaker vs. Orton. Fair enough in this case.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

JBL’s leg is fine after being on crutches Friday. Before Matt comes out, JBL talks about how the smallest state has the biggest star tonight. Matt always talks about how he will not die, even though he lost his girlfriend and got fired. The shirt should say “I wish I was dead.” Matt’s intro cuts JBL off and the fight is on in a hurry. JBL slugs away and sends him into the ropes, with Matt’s head getting tied between them. Ever the villain, JBL kicks the tied head and then pulls on Matt’s legs.

The referee finally gets Matt loose so JBL drops a bunch of elbows. There’s another kick to the head but Matt fights up and hits a DDT for two. A big running shoulder takes Matt down again and JBL pokes him in the eye for good measure. Matt gets in a shot of his own and hits a top rope moonsault for two. JBL gets a turnbuckle pad off though and Matt gets whipped into the steel, setting up the Clothesline From JBL for the pin.

Rating: D+. This felt like it was added to fill in some time on the show as an interrupted interview isn’t exactly a hot angle to set up a pay per view match. On the one hand it makes sense to boost JBL up so he can be fed to someone else later, but my goodness it’s hard to watch Matt bounce down the ranks like he’s been doing.

We recap Melina failing to get Batista to back out of the Tag Team Title match on Friday. Batista and Rey Mysterio would go on to win the titles.

The Mexicools offer to cancel the match tonight in exchange for some, ahem, favors for Melina. She isn’t interested.

We look at Undertaker massacring Mankind inside the Cell. That one still has so much impact as Foley probably shouldn’t have survived.

MNM vs. Mexicools

Psicosis/Super Crazy for the Mexicools in a match that was supposed to be for the titles until Batista and Rey happened. Mercury works on Psicosis’ arm to start and it’s already off to Nitro, who is armdragged straight down. Psicosis misses his running dropkick in the corner as Cole makes various Melina jokes. MNM gets knocked outside for a dive from Psicosis, followed by Crazy diving over the referee in a cool spot.

Back in and Mercury stomps on Psicosis, followed by Nitro breaking up a sunset flip with a stomp to the face. Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop sets up a front facelock, followed by some straight right hands to the face. Psicosis gets in an enziguri though and the hot tag brings in Crazy to clean house. A tornado DDT gets two on Mercury and, after Melina is shoved off the apron, the moonsault hits Mercury for two with Nitro making the save. Back up and the Snapshot is good for the fast pin on Crazy.

Rating: C+. The Mexicools are a good lucha team and could have some nice high flying matches like this one. It’s a good idea to have MNM beat a high energy team like that before they get their rematch for the titles. If nothing else, it’s nice to act like there is an actual division rather than two teams fighting over the titles for a change.

Sharmell doesn’t like Booker being asked a question and says tonight, Booker is sweeping Chris Benoit. Interviewer Krystal can ride the broom home if she can’t find a car.

We recap the best of seven series, with Booker cheating to go up 3-0.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Booker is up 3-0 so it’s a title match for him. The early lockup doesn’t go anywhere but Booker stalls on the floor anyway. Back in and Booker drives him into the corner for a clean break so Benoit chops him to the floor. Back in again and Benoit takes him to the mat without much trouble but Booker actually grabs a hammerlock to take over. A quick Crossface attempt sends Booker outside again for another breather.

Booker gets back in so Benoit starts in on the leg but Booker is up again in a hurry. A back elbow to the face drops Benoit again and a hard suplex gives Booker two. Benoit is right back up with a snap German suplex for two, only to have Booker knee him to the floor. They chop it out until Benoit gets posted to cut him off again. The abdominal stretch goes on back inside but Benoit hiptosses his way to freedom.

A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown but it’s Benoit up first with the rolling German suplexes, plus Three Amigos for a bonus. Sharmell uses the broom to break up the Swan Dive though and Booker hits the missile dropkick for two. Sharmell offers another distraction and gets in a low blow so Booker’s ax kick can connect for two more.

The Crossface sends Booker to the ropes so Benoit rolls more German suplexes. Now it’s the Swan Dive for two but the referee gets bumped. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter to make Booker tap. That’s released so Benoit can check the referee, meaning Booker can try the Book End, which is reversed into a DDT. Now the Crossface can make Booker tap to make it 3-1.

Rating: B. These two can do this without missing a beat every single time and that was the case again here. Benoit had to fight to survive here and that will likely be the case again going forward. That being said, it’s getting a little more difficult to care about seeing a fourth match and the next three (more than likely) are going to have even less interest. Then again, the quality is still good so what do I know?

Undertaker chokeslammed Rikishi off the Cell. They do know we saw these clips on Smackdown right?

Here are Teddy Long and Palmer Cannon to thank the fans for a great 2005. They have a treat for the fans: Santa Claus and his elf, who may very well be Vito and Nunzio. They aren’t your traditional Santa and elf though as they’re tired of giving and want their own presents. Maybe a Tag Team Title shot, or a Cruiserweight Title shot! Cannon has a gift for them, so here’s the Boogeyman to sing a Christmas carol about how he’s coming to get you. Pain ensues and worms are consumed in a hurry as Vito has some issues controlling his inner functions, meaning the suit is probably ruined.

Video on Undertaker vs. Randy Orton to set up the Cell match. It feels like they’re filling in a lot of time here, though this might be to clear the ring.

Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal/Paul Burchill

Burchill starts for the team and actually takes Lashley down for some knees and elbows to the back. Regal comes in for more of the same, followed by Burchill’s knee to the back for two. Lashley drives Regal into the corner without much trouble and then snaps off a suplex to send Regal into the corner. The powerslam plants Regal though and a Dominator finishes Burchill without much trouble.

Rating: D+. Another match that could have been on Smackdown, but do we really need Lashley in a handicap match beating two low level guys? We’ve seen something like this for months now and Lashley was already in the main event of a major pay per view. It’s kind of a step backwards, but if this is the only rehab he needs, he should be fine.

And now, we go to the Friendly Tap, owned by former WWE referee Tim White. He doesn’t seem happy here and keeps drinking, even as we see him refereeing HHH vs. Chris Jericho inside the Cell in 2002. White injured his shoulder in the match and he says it ruined his life. He took it out on his wife and his family doesn’t talk to him anymore. White doesn’t have anything to live for anymore, so Josh Matthews wishes him a White Christmas. Josh: “Get it? Because your name is White!” In response, White whips out a shotgun, steps off camera, and fires.

This would lead to one of the most tasteless and, given what would happen in the company about a year and a half later, horrible series of segments ever with Lunchtime Suicides, where White would attempt to kill himself in a variety of ways for the next several weeks. That would be one of those things that WWE would bury in their archives while fans tried to figure out what the heck they were thinking with the videos.

So a former WWE name just shot himself on live pay per view. Less than fifteen seconds later, it’s time for our next match. Can’t grieve forever I guess.

Cruiserweight Title: Kid Kash vs. Juventud Guerrera

Kash is challenging and they hammer away at each other to start. A running dropkick stops Kash and a headscissors takes him down again. Juvy gets two off a standing hurricanrana and the Fujiwara armbar goes on. A backdrop puts Kash on the floor for a slingshot dive but Kash takes over on the arm. Back in and the armbar has Juvy in trouble so Kash sends him shoulder first into the buckle.

There’s a hammerlock slam for two as Cole talks to Tazz about Hooked on Phonics, because we’re supposed to ignore Tim White shooting himself five minutes ago. Kash’s double jump moonsault hits knees and Juvy kicks him in the face. They both wind up on top with Juvy snapping off a super hurricanrana for a delayed two. The Juvy Driver sets up….actually a flipping legdrop instead of the 450 but it doesn’t connect anyway. Kash hits the Dead Level brainbuster for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This was another match that could have been on any given Smackdown (a trend tonight), though it still comes after a suicide on live television. I know it wound up being a joke but the shock value alone should be enough to pause for a second instead of going straight into another match. That’s not something that you can just drop and it isn’t working here whatsoever. It doesn’t help when you go to the Cruiserweight Title match, which is hardly top level interesting stuff in the first place.

We recap the Raw vs. Smackdown tag team match. It’s fallout from Survivor Series and the Smackdown Special, with Kane and Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio, drawing in Batista to help him out. They’re both Tag Team Champions as well.

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

Non-title and Batista starts with Big Show. Batista gets launched into the corner early on and then Show does it again for a bonus. A waistlock doesn’t work either for Batista so he slugs away and gets a boot up in the corner. The chokeslam attempt is broken up and Show kicks him in the face. Kane comes in and gets suplexed in a hurry, only to come back with the side slam. The top rope clothesline misses though and it’s off to Rey for some sticking and moving.

That just earns him a stare from Kane so Rey hammers away in the corner. Rey kicks him into the 619 position as everything breaks down. Rey gets taken to the floor with Show posting him and then tossing Rey over the top in a heap. Back in and Rey can’t get anywhere with right hands to Kane so he goes with the sitout bulldog instead. The hot tag brings in Batista for a spear and spinebuster to Kane. Batista and Show fight to the floor, leaving Kane to pop up for a chokeslam and the fast pin.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that? This was the second biggest show on the card and it felt like a house show main event where they wanted to get out of town and hit the road as fast as possible. There was nothing to this one and it’s pretty annoying that they changed the Tag Team Titles for the sake of this. I know it doesn’t matter in the short or long term, but this could have been a lot more, even though it was hardly important in the first place.

One more Undertaker Cell clip: destroying Shawn Michaels in 1997.

The Cell is lowered.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Inside the Cell in case you don’t have the best attention span and Bob Orton is here with Randy. Orton runs away to start and tries a headlock, which earns him a hard knockdown. Back in and Undertaker’s own headlock doesn’t last long as Orton escapes and gets two off a dropkick. Some right hands in the corner just annoy Undertaker, who launches Orton into the corner and hammers away. They head outside with Undertaker kicking him in the face to send Orton crawling away in a great visual.

One heck of a chair shot drops Randy so Undertaker rakes Orton’s face across the Cell. That lets Cole compare it to a cheese grater to the head, as usual making me wonder why he knows what that is like. Orton is busted open as Undertaker wraps a chain around his throat, followed by a lawn darting into the Cell. Back up and Orton manages an RKO across the top rope (a variation you don’t get very often) for his first major offense.

The steps bounce off of Undertaker’s head to bust him open and adds another chair shot. Undertaker falls back to the floor but manages a headbutt, followed by a whip into the Cell. Back in and Undertaker goes up top (!), only to miss a top rope elbow. Orton brings in a chair as Undertaker falls outside again, with Bob grabbing him by the hair through the Cell. Bob gets punched and kicked in the face to bust him open as well.

Randy jumps Undertaker from behind and powerslams him into the Cell for two on the floor. Back in and Undertaker’s running clothesline gets two, followed by Old School. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the legdrop gets two and it’s a chokeslam to plant Orton. That’s only good for two though as Orton gets his foot on the rope. Normally I would roll my eyes and ask “In the Cell?” but it’s even dumber when they just had a near fall on the floor, meaning falls count anywhere, except in the ropes.

Orton fights back and puts Undertaker on the table for a top rope splash partially through it for two. The Last Ride out of the corner is countered so Undertaker punches out the referee. The RKO connects for no cover so here’s another referee to come in, with Bob (holding the urn), following him.

Undertaker kicks out at two and sits up, setting up the Last Ride. Bob takes out the second referee and gets sent into the Cell to make the blood even worse. Randy counters the Tombstone into one of his own (Tazz: “I’ve never seen anyone do that!”) and Undertaker can’t sit up. He does on the second time, blocks the RKO, urns and Tombstones Bob, and Tombstones Randy for the pin.

Rating: B+. This got going big near the end as it felt like a violent fight instead of a match that happened to take place in the Cell. That’s what the match needed to be and it worked well as Undertaker can still turn it on. Orton got going rather well too, and even though he was in way over his head, it was a heck of a fight that they needed to blow the feud off once and for all.

Undertaker poses on top of the Cell with the urn to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There are two rather good matches on here but that’s not enough to save the rest of this mess. Of the seven matches on the card, three of them felt like they belonged on a pay per view and one of them was a big disappointment. I need a lot more than this for a two hour and forty minute show and it just didn’t work. Smackdown was in a bad place at the moment and while Booker vs. Benoit and the Cell were good, it’s not enough to warrant a pay per view level price.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Money In The Bank 2020
Date: May 10, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s a special event this time around as the majority of the show will be taking place in the Performance Center but the two ladder matches, taking place at the same time because reasons, are to be held at WWE Headquarters in Connecticut. This could be anywhere between a disaster or fascinating, or perhaps a combination of both. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Cesaro vs. Jeff Hardy

This is Hardy’s first match in over two months. Cesaro grabs a headlock to start but Jeff goes old school with an atomic drop. Jeff sends him outside but gets dropped onto the barricade for his efforts. Back in and Cesaro chokes with the boot to put Jeff in more trouble. A middle rope elbow to the back gives Cesaro two and we hit the chinlock.

Jeff fights up and takes it outside again, only to be whipped hard into the apron. Cesaro stomps on the ribs even more and we hit the abdominal stretch. A hiptoss breaks that up but Jeff takes him down into another chinlock. Jeff hits the legdrop between the legs but gets crotched on top. An elbow to the face knocks Cesaro down though and Whisper in the Wind connects (with Hardy landing on Cesaro’s leg in a scary crash).

The Twist of Fate gets two but Cesaro blasts him with a clothesline. They head outside again with Cesaro hitting a running uppercut against the barricade but Hardy sends him knee first into the steps. Hardy’s running clothesline from the barricade drops Cesaro and it’s the Swanton finishes at 13:28.

Rating: C. That was a long one so maybe they were trying to get Hardy’s ring rust off. Cesaro made him work here and the match wasn’t too anyway. Hardy’s comeback story could be a long form one and that isn’t a bad thing. Hardy is a major star and someone who could add some much needed energy to the show. Hopefully it works out well, because Hardy isn’t going to have much time left to go.

The opening video focuses entirely on the ladder matches, with what sounds like an automated voice over talking about how you have to climb the corporate ladder. The risk is worth the reward.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Lucha House Party vs. Forgotten Sons vs. Miz/John Morrison

New Day is defending, Jaxson Ryker is here with the Sons and it’s one fall to a finish. Gran Metalik wristlocks Kofi to start but gets flipped down in a hurry. There’s a running shoulder to drop Metalik again but Blake tags himself in and sends Kofi outside. Morrison comes in as well and catches Metalik on top as everything breaks down. The super Spanish Fly onto everyone else puts everyone down in the huge crash.

Back in and Cutler elbows Metalik down for two and it’s off to Blake, who is thrown at Metalik for the hard knockdown. Elbows to the head put Metalik in more trouble until a tornado DDT gets him out. The hot tag brings in Dorado for a dropsault to Miz/Morrison for two. A hurricanrana gets the same with Blake making the save as Kofi comes back in. Morrison’s springboard kick to the head drops Kofi, who is right back up with the Boom Drop to Miz.

Trouble in Paradise is blocked so it’s off to Cutler to stomp on Big E. in the corner. Kofi is right back in again to take over on Cutler as the fast tags continue. Miz makes a blind tag as the double stomp/reverse DDT plants Big E. The Skull Crushing Finale gets rid of Blake as Morrison gets two on Big E. with the House Party making the save.

A springboard hurricanrana takes Morrison down and it’s a top rope splash into a rope walk elbow for two on Big E. Back up and Big E. sends the Sons to the floor so he can launch Kofi onto Blake. Cutler posts Kofi hard and Ryker tries to get involved, earning himself an ejection. Everyone is down on the floor until Big E. gets inside. Metalik springboards at him but gets caught in the Big Ending to retain the titles at 12:01.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but once they got into the higher gear, everything got better in a hurry. New Day continues to hold the titles but at some point they need to have someone new take over the top spot. Kofi and Big E. are great, but how long can they be champions before that starts wearing off?

Lacey Evans is ready for Money in the Bank thanks to preparations and planning. She has memorized the layout of WWE Headquarters so she’ll win the briefcase and then take the title from Bayley.

Drew McIntyre doesn’t like the idea of being called an underdog. He looks like Goliath but he has definitely been in a David story. Seth Rollins is great but Drew has more heart, passion and desire. Plus the WWE Championship, which he isn’t losing tonight.

R-Truth vs. MVP

Truth seems to hear the fans shouting WHAT’S UP back at him. Before the match, Truth offers to teach MVP about ballin, including an explain of how scoring works in basketball. MVP isn’t interested….so here’s Bobby Lashley to interrupt. He’ll be taking MVP’s place, which MVP says is what’s up.

R-Truth vs. Bobby Lashley

Truth tries to take the night off too and accidentally slaps Lashley, meaning the pain is imminent. The HEY LOOK OVER THERE strategy doesn’t work as Lashley throws him into the corner and then across the ring for a bonus. The spinebuster and spear finish Truth at 1:43.

We get the Real Heroes video, featuring athletes honoring healthcare workers.

King Corbin says he’ll win the briefcase for the second time.

Bayley doesn’t want to hear about possible strife with Sasha Banks. No she doesn’t blame Banks for losing the tag match on Smackdown.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Tamina

MVP gets swapped out but this match goes on. Good to know that WWE hates us. Bayley is defending and has Sasha Banks in her corner. Tamina doesn’t like being hit in the face to start and Bayley’s trash talk makes it worse. Some forearms give Bayley a breather so she goes up top, only to get shoved in the face. Bayley gets down and Tamina says bring it, meaning the chase is on.

Tamina gets pulled down so her leg can be wrapped around the post. More shots to the knee keep her in trouble but Tamina shoves her away. The superkick to the chest is countered into a kneebar, sending Tamina over to the ropes. Bayley can’t Samoan drop Tamina so she rolls outside for some water. After a few sips, Bayley throws the water in her face.

That earns Bayley a hard clothesline and a whip into the barricade, which even knocks one of the ladders over. Back in and the Samoan drop is blocked so Tamina superkicks her to the floor. Bayley is thrown over the announcers’ table before going back inside for the superkick and Samoan drop. Sasha’s distraction means no cover so Tamina grabs her by the leg. Bayley uses the distraction to grab a crucifix for the retaining pin at 10:28.

Rating: D-. That’s as good as this was going to be as there was nothing good about this. I still don’t know why WWE thinks we need to see Tamina on television whatsoever and the match was as terrible as expected. Tamina is not good at any of this and pushing her, even as a challenger of the month, feels like such a waste of time and resources. Just never do this again, please?

Post match Tamina tries another Samoan drop and gets chop blocked.

Seth Rollins says Drew McIntyre knows that it is his destiny to lose the title tonight. Drew is still willing to step into the fire though and Seth admires that courage. Tonight, Seth will take away his burden.

Quick preview of the Last Ride.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. Bray Wyatt. Strowman was part of the Wyatt Family back in the day but has since broken free and become Universal Champion. Bray wants the title back.

Smackdown World Title: Bray Wyatt vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and it’s Bray rather than the Fiend. Braun grabs him by the throat and shoves him into the corner to start. Bray: “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!” A clothesline puts Bray down in the corner and he agrees that Braun is strong. Strowman sends him outside again but the running charge around the ring is sent over the announcers’ table.

Bray gets back inside and laughs at him but the evil seems to be coming out. Cue Huskus the Pig to say Bray can do it, meaning it’s a DDT on the floor for Bray’s first offense. Back in and Bray’s running clothesline gets two, followed by a tornado DDT into Sister Abigail for two more. Bray looks shocked for the first time and screams a lot. Ref: “It was two!”. Bray: “I KNOW!” Another Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam and they’re both down.

Strowman sends him outside so the running shoulder can connect but Bray kicks him off the apron. As Bray laughs inside, Strowman comes up in the black sheep mask. Bray is thrilled because he knew this would happen as Strowman rips his shirt off. Strowman drops to his knees and poses in front of a kneeling Bray. They hug as the puppets pop up to celebrate Braun being home. Then Braun takes the mask off and steps on it, setting up the running powerslam to retain at 10:43.

Rating: D. I know the Wyatt Family was a big deal for a long time but it’s not like Strowman was that important of a part. The angle makes sense but it’s not like it’s something that is going to draw that much interest. Strowman still doesn’t feel like the next big thing or a long term champion but at least the they gave him the first title defense, which he certainly needed.

Post match Bray glares at him and the Fiend pops up.

The hacker pops up to say he sees everyone and hears everything. He is the truth and no one is safe. He presses a button and we see all kinds of wrestlers on his multiple monitors.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship. Drew won the title at Wrestlemania and now Rollins is coming after the title because it is his destiny.

Raw World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is defending and Seth has new music. Rollins grabs a headlock to start so Drew hits a running shoulder to take care of that. The arm cranking doesn’t get Seth very far as Drew goes with more shoulders, followed by a running clothesline to the floor. Back in and one heck of a chop puts Rollins down, followed by an even louder one to make it worse. Seth gets smart by going after the leg before weakly sending Drew shoulder first into the post.

The suicide dive to the floor sets up a Sling Blade for two back inside. Seth stays on the leg with the half crab and then switches to an STF. A Crossface sends McIntyre outside so Seth hits the running knee from the apron. Another jumping knee off the barricade knocks McIntyre even sillier so let’s load up the announcers’ table. The third knee connects from the table and Seth goes inside to talk trash as Drew tries to get up.

Another suicide dive is countered into an overhead belly to belly onto the table though and they’re both down outside. More suplexes connect back inside and Drew kicks him in the head. There’s the top rope shot to the head but Seth rolls to the apron before the Claymore. Drew goes with a spinebuster for two instead but Rollins kicks him back down. The frog splash gets two so Seth goes to grab a chair. That gets thrown away so Drew blocks the Stomp with a Glasgow Kiss.

Rollins catches him on top with the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. The Stomp is countered again, this time into the Future Shock for two more. They head up again with McIntyre’s leg getting tied in the Tree of Woe so Seth can step on it. That’s fine with Drew, who pulls himself up for a belly to belly superplex. The Claymore is cut off by a superkick and the Stomp finally connects for two. Drew has had enough and Glasgow Kisses him again, setting up the Claymore to retain at 19:30.

Rating: B. That’s how this should have gone as you get McIntyre over with one big win after another. Let him stack up wins for a few months before giving him the really big test (and I don’t mean Brock Lesnar) with someone new. It’s worked for years and it will again, despite what WWE seems to think for whatever reason.

Post match Drew shows respect and says that’s what he needed.

R-Truth says he beat MVP, even though MVP has lost a lot of weight. He’s happy with his win but he has no one to celebrate with. That’s why he’s coming for the 24/7 Title, so Tom Brady better look out. Charly: “He means Rob Gronkowski.” In case you didn’t get the joke you see. Because if you’re watching this, you have to be a moron of course.

Men’s Money In The Bank Ladder Match/Women’s Money In The Bank Ladder Match

Men: Aleister Black, AJ Styles, Otis, Daniel Bryan, King Corbin, Rey Mysterio

Women: Lacey Evans, Nia Jax, Asuka, Shayna Baszler, Dana Brooke, Carmella

There is no commentary for this. Both matches are going on at the same time and they all get entrances to start in the lobby of WWE Headquarters. Well not Asuka actually as she is nowhere to be seen. Actually hold on as she’s standing on a ledge above the other five. The men start brawling in the gym as Asuka dives onto the other five and goes for the elevator. She gets the doors closed so Shayna, Carmella and Lacey give chase up the steps.

The men fight in the gym with Corbin throwing a weight at Bryan but hitting a mirror instead. AJ punches Otis as Corbin sends Bryan into some weights. Otis gets smart by putting a barbell over AJ’s chest. The other five run off and wind up near the bathroom. Brother Love pops out of a stall and tells Rey that he loves him. Rey: “I love you too but I’ve got to go.” They wind up in the offices and then get in the elevators, but Rey can’t get inside in time.

Back to the women with the trio going to the elevators and nearly being run over by the men stumbling out. The men fight into a room with ropes in front of the walls, where Bryan ties Corbin up for the kicks to the chest. Black is smart enough to use this moment to escape as Bryan kicks Otis down as well. Bryan runs off as well, as Doink pops out from behind a chair.

The three women run into Nia, who knocks Carmella into a meeting room. Shayna and Dana join them with Shayna and Nia knocking each other down. Dana sees a briefcase above the table and pulls it down, but Stephanie McMahon pops in to say that’s not the right one. And clean this place up. Carmella breaks a poster over Dana’s head and moon walks out but gets dropped with the Woman’s Right.

AJ has gotten up but runs into a Rey Mysterio poster, which he has to stop and punch. He goes hunting for Rey (passing a Roman Reigns painting on the wall, launching a thousand internet reports) but gets freaked out by an Undertaker painting for some continuity. AJ goes into an Undertaker themed room and we get flashbacks to the Boneyard match. Black pops in and kicks him into said room before shutting the door and smiling. Now it’s off to catering, where Paul Heyman is having a lot of food.

Cue nearly everyone involved in the match for a big staredown, because they need to yell at each other instead of going up. Otis stops for food but destroys a sandwich…..and declares a food fight. Heyman takes food to the face and it’s time to throw stuff at each other. Shayna chokes out Rey, who is then crushed by Nia and Otis. Nia throws Dana into a Coke machine and then powerbombs Carmella through the table. That leaves Nia and Otis (eating) to have an awkward staredown before going their separate ways.

Otis goes into the cafeteria and is VERY happy…..as Johnny Ace (in the white suit) scooters up. Johnny declares PEOPLE POWER and gets pied in the face. Asuka finally pops up again and yells at a janitor for not knowing how to get to the roof. The other women come in so she throws the mop at them. Dana slips on the wet floor and Nia beats up Lacey and Shayna. Black and Bryan are fighting near an office when AJ comes in to jump Bryan.

They fight into Vince’s office (complete with dinosaur skull), realize where they are, and are immediately ordered out. Well after they fix the chairs they messed up of course. Vince makes sure to sanitize before sitting back down to work. Outside, AJ says Bryan looked like a coward in there but it was AJ who fixed the chairs. The fighting continues but Black and Corbin join them, with the latter throwing Bryan over the big conference table. Corbin: “I’m going to the roof!”

And now we go to said roof, with Nia throwing Asuka into the ring. Lacey joins them and is dispatched in a hurry so Nia can load up the first ladder. Asuka gets sent into the ladder but it’s the Woman’s Right to put Nia down. Asuka drops Lacey and shoved the ladder down, straight onto Nia’s head for your first OW of the match.

Lacey goes up but is pulled down again, only to go up at the same time as Asuka. An elbow knocks Lacey onto Nia so Asuka is alone on the ladder….but here is Corbin to go up as well. For some reason Asuka knocks him down and then unhooks the women’s briefcase for the win at 21:30.

Otis is up there as well but breaks the ladder as he tries to climb. Corbin misses a charge into the corner so it’s the Caterpillar on the roof. Black is in to kick Otis down with Mysterio adding a top rope seated senton. Rey and Black go up at the same time but AJ is in for the save. With Rey down, Corbin throws him over the roof for the huge thud. Black gets the same treatment as Corbin seems to have murdered two people on television.

Bryan is up there as well but Corbin pulls him down and sends him into the ladder. AJ Phenomenal Forearms Otis and fights with Corbin on top of the ladder. They take the briefcase down at the same time but here’s Elias to break a guitar over Corbin’s back. AJ drops the briefcase though and Otis catches it for the win at 26:57.

Rating: B. This is going to be one of those matches where I need to think about it a lot in the coming days. I definitely had fun with it, but there were parts that made my head hurt. Some of the people disappeared for way too long to be believable (like some of the women who never made it to the roof) and it was a little too much on more than one occasion.

That being said, I has a great time with this and it was one of the more unique things I’ve seen in a very long time. One of the big criticisms of recent WWE is how similar so many things have looked. That was absolutely not the case here and they had a very unique match as a result. I was completely wrong about Otis winning, but there is a good chance he loses it or doesn’t get a World Title match somehow. Asuka winning makes sense, though I’m starting to worry about Shayna. Either way, this is definitely worth seeing at least once, if nothing else for all of the moving parts.

Overall Rating: B+. It worked a lot more than it didn’t, as the Smackdown singles title matches were the only glaringly bad spots. They needed to do something out of the box to shake things up a bit around here and this was as good as they could have done. I liked it more than I expected to and the main event delivered, though I’m worried about how boring things will get when they’re back to the same formula over and over again. The main event is worth checking out, but it’s almost even more frustrating when you know what they can do but just won’t do it most of the time.

Results

New Day b. Forgotten Sons, Lucha House Party and Miz/John Morrison – Big Ending to Gran Metalik

Bobby Lashley b. R-Truth – Spear

Bayley b. Tamina – Crucifix

Braun Strowman b. Bray Wyatt – Running powerslam

Asuka won the Women’s Money in the Bank ladder match

Otis won the Men’s Money in the Bank ladder match

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s all about Raw vs. Smackdown as the big elimination tag is all that matters around here. That’s in addition to the Raw World Title match, which should be another good but not exactly thrilling showdown. I’m not sure what to expect for most of the show, but that elimination tag is the centerpiece of the show. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence is almost all about Raw vs. Smackdown, as it should be.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Match #1 in a best of seven series for the vacant US Title. Benoit gets backed into the corner to start and it’s a surprisingly clean break. Booker slams him down but Benoit pops back up for a standoff. Some forearms puts Booker on the floor and we’re still in low first gear. They go to the mat with Benoit easily getting the better of things and cranking on the leg to limited success.

That’s enough for Booker to take another breather on the floor. Back in and Booker elbows him in the face so Benoit hits him with a running forearm. That just earns Benoit a side slam for two and the armbar goes on. Make that an abdominal stretch but Benoit fights out again and hits an elbow. Booker elbows him into the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker.

A reverse chinlock doesn’t last long so Booker goes with the jumping kick to the face instead. Benoit grabs a quick dragon screw legwhip but the Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two. The rolling German suplexes work a bit better but Sharmell’s distraction delays the Swanton, allowing Booker to roll away. A rollup with feet on the ropes and Sharmell grabbing the leg is enough for Booker to get the pin.

Rating: B. This was better than their Smackdown match as they were able to build things up a bit better. It’s a good way to start off the show, though it’s not like these matches matter all that much until we get to what is more than likely going to be a seventh match. That sounds good in theory, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the match get a little boring by that point.

Eric Bischoff meets with Vince McMahon in the back and talks about the history of screwjobs at Survivor Series. Tonight, Bischoff Screws Cena. Cue Cena: “So Eric Bischoff screws guys.” Bischoff leaves and Cena shakes Vince’s hand. In a legendary line, Vince: “Keep it up my n****.” Vince struts off as Booker and Sharmell look flabbergasted. I can’t believe this is uncensored on the Network.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and this is interpromotional after Melina and MNM kidnapped Trish on Raw. Mickie James and Melina are here as well. Trish jumps her to start and sends Melina outside for the big dive onto all three of them. Back in and a hair toss sends Melina down and the headscissors does the same. Melina gets in a knee to the back and a kick to the ribs.

They trade boot chokes in the corner and but Melina goes after Mickie, leaving MNM to try the Snapshot on Trish. That’s broken up by a referee actually paying attention and the two of them are ejected. We hit a modified surfboard, which I’m sure is not just an excuse to put Trish in various positions. The Matrish is broken up with a shot to the ribs for two but the Stratusphere works just fine. Stratusfaction is broken up but Mickie saves Trish from a cheap shot to the back. A top rope bulldog retains the title.

Rating: D+. There was only so much you could do here as there is no secret to the fact that this is setting up Mickie challenging Trish for the title at some point in the future. Melina hadn’t gotten good in the ring yet so for now she’s glorified eye candy who can do a passable match. In other words, she’s a traditional Diva of the era.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair in a Last Man Standing match. Flair beat him last month in a cage match so now it’s about ending each other in the way WWE ends people.

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Non-title and Last Man Standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle and the beating is on in a hurry with Flair’s robe and belt being ripped off. Flair gets in a kendo stick to the ribs (Flair using a kendo stick is just wrong) and they head into the crowd with HHH managing to backdrop him back to ringside. A suplex has Flair in more trouble inside and the pace slows a bit.

They go outside again and a screwdriver to the head busts Flair open in a hurry. Back in and some kneedrops make the blood flow even more and it’s already back to the floor. HHH takes too long setting up the announcers’ table though and Flair sends him face first into the steps. A spinebuster on the floor cuts Flair off again though as this has been one hope spot after another with HHH dropping him every time. HHH grabs a microphone to yell but Flair grabs him low.

That earns him a trip into the announcers’ table but Flair backdrops him through the other one in the first really big spot of the match. HHH is up at eight so Flair takes him back inside for some chops. Some right hands put Flair down as well so he hits HHH low to even things up. A chair to the head puts HHH down and Flair bites at the head, followed by a crotching against the post.

The chop block takes HHH down again but the Figure Four is broken up. Flair doesn’t seem to mind as he wraps the knee around the post and smashes it with a chair. NOW the Figure Four can go on and Flair even grabs the rope for a bonus. HHH taps so Flair can claim a bit of a moral victory and the hold is let go. A shot to the face knocks Flair into the corner and the steps to the head give HHH five.

There’s the drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps but he staggers up and hits a Pedigree. Flair pulls himself up so there’s a second Pedigree. He’s up again so they hit the same sequence one more time. Flair gets to his feet a third time so it’s a sledgehammer shot to the….something well hidden by a camera cut but it’s finally enough to finish Flair off.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s nowhere near as good as the cage match. As usual, the ending didn’t work very well as they were just doing the same stuff over and over again until a big hammer shot put Flair down. Thankfully they didn’t waste a lot of time with the near falls throughout the match, which are always annoying in a match like this. It wasn’t great and it should have been shorter but it worked well enough.

Randy Orton and JBL try to fire up Team Smackdown but Batista comes in and takes care of it for them.

Here are Edge and Lita for a chat. They’re changing things up around here because they are going to have their own talk show with the Cutting Edge. With that out of the way, Edge calls out Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young, who plays for a bad team and is fat you see. Detroit sports jokes abound but Young asks about Edge’s World Title. Edge and Lita are out of here, just like Ford and GM.

We recap John Cena vs. Kurt Angle. Kurt has beaten him a few times but never for the title so now he has Daivari as his personal referee. It’s the final showdown and this should be a good one.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending and Daivari is guest referee. The place goes coconuts for Cena as the star power continues to rise. Angle wastes no time in taking him down by the leg and cranks on the ankle a bit. Some shoulders put Angle on the floor and DANG the fans are into Cena. Daivari won’t let him go after Angle though and things settle down a bit. Back in and Angle stomps him down in the corner until Cena snaps off a release fisherman’s suplex.

That’s not even worthy of a count so Angle grabs the ankle lock. Cena makes the rope so Daivari kicks his hand away. With that not working, Cena kicks him away and slaps Daivari in the face. Daivari is ready for the DQ but Angle gets sent into him for the double knockdown. Angle posts Cena and another referee comes down to count two. Some suplexes give Angle some twos and we hit the waistlock. Another suplex drops Cena again and the fans get even louder.

It’s off to the weird cousin of an STF on Cena but Angle switches to a regular chinlock pretty quickly. Cena suplexes his way to freedom and the comeback is on….so Angle clotheslines the referee on purpose. A low blow drops Cena and the Angle Slam gets two from the third referee. Angle’s top rope superplex gets two more but he misses the moonsault. The FU is broken up and Angle decks the third referee so here’s one from Smackdown. Angle tries to hold him back as Cena DDTs Daivari and then FU’s Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. They had a good match in there somewhere but egads they had too much going on at the same time here. When you have a fourth referee climbing over the three down referees, you’re only going to get so far. Cena needs a fresh opponent now as he’s beaten Angle more than once now so just let him do something else. That being said, who is there right now?

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Palmer Cannon is here with Teddy and there is a referee from both shows. Long posts to start and then ducks a clothesline, meaning it’s time to dance. With that out of the way, it’s more dancing and the required crane pose. Cannon gets drawn onto the apron and Bischoff gets in some choking. A sleeper goes on until Long takes off his own shoe and hits Eric in the head. Eric is ticked….and we’ve got the Boogeyman. Choking into a pumphandle slam drops Bischoff and the one shoed Long gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Teddy’s dancing is the only thing that keeps this from failing because it always makes me smile. This was a complete waste of time but they had to have something in there to stretch the show out a bit. It wasn’t a match of course but what else were you expecting out of something like this?

Both teams get cheered to the ring by their locker rooms.

We recap Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown. Back at Homecoming, Bischoff turned out the lights on a Smackdown six man tag so a bunch of invasions started happening. Therefore, let’s have an elimination tag for brand supremacy.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Shawn Michaels, Kane, Big Show, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Batista, Bobby Lashley, John Bradshaw Layfield, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio

Entrances take forever of course and Rey gets some very loud EDDIE chants. Orton takes Shawn into the corner to start and then does it again for a bonus. Shawn gets in a whip to the other corner to set up some chops as commentary is already bickering. Orton gets in a slam but misses the knee drop so it’s off to Masters. The knee the face works fine on him but it’s quickly off to Lashley, who tosses Masters around.

Carlito gets the tag so Lashley pulls him in and hits a running powerslam for two. It’s back to Shawn, who gets knocked down as well. There’s the Dominator to Carlito but Kane saves Shawn from the same fate. A Kane chokeslam from the apron lets Shawn get rid of Lashley, who wasn’t nearly the factor you would have bet on after the last few weeks. Rey comes in and dropkicks Shawn in the knee as Cole says he’d love to see this dream match. I know he has a short attention span but he can’t remember something from less than two weeks ago?

Kane comes in and gets dropkicked down but is right back up for a big boot. A backbreaker gets two on Rey and we hit the backbreaker. Rey fights out in a hurry though and it’s off to Batista for the shoulders in the corner. A spear into the spinebuster gets rid of Kane but here’s Show for an immediate chokeslam. That’s good for two but Kane is back up for a double chokeslam to get rid of Batista. JBL’s middle rope shoulder is pulled out of the air by Big Show but Orton snaps his throat across the top.

The Clothesline From JBL into the 619 into the RKO into another Clothesline From JBL into the springboard seated senton FINALLY gets rid of Big Show and we’re down to 3-3. Everything breaks down and JBL hits Shawn with a fall away slam on the floor as Masters plants Rey. Carlito comes in for a legdrop and the chinlock goes on. Rey fights up and gets a blind tag from JBL, who blasts Carlito with the Clothesline for the pin.

Masters comes in next and gets hammered down as Shawn is still out on the floor. Rey comes back in and avoids a charge into the post, setting up the 619. Dropping the Dime gets rid of Masters and it’s down to Shawn vs. Orton/Mysterio/JBL. Rey throws Shawn back in and hits the 619 but the West Coast Pop is Sweet Chin Musiced out of the air for the pin. JBL tries the Clothesline but Shawn ducks and superkicks him out for the back to back pins in about fifteen seconds.

That leaves us with Shawn vs. Orton but neither finisher can hit. Orton bails to the floor so Shawn hits a slingshot dive as the fans want Undertaker. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm into the nipup but JBL is still here and brings in a chair. That earns him another superkick but Shawn walks into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. This was good enough and was absolutely the main event of the show. Even though this was for completely meaningless bragging rights, it worked this time because that was something fresh. It’s the difference between doing it once and doing it every year: this time felt like they had built something up instead of throwing it out there because it was November. It also helps when you have Shawn at his best playing the underdog and Orton being great at this match. This nearly identical formula worked in 2003 and it worked here too.

Post match the Smackdown locker room comes in to celebrate….and we’ve got druids. They bring out a casket and stand it upright as the gong hits. Lightning strikes the casket and it is lit on fire, with Undertaker walking out. Undertaker destroys the roster as the Ortons get to the outside. The big staredown with the throat slit ends the show.

Overall Rating: B+. For a show that was almost entirely about the main event, this was actually a very good show with only the Long vs. Bischoff non-match being bad. There are several good matches throughout and it doesn’t drag at all. The ending was a bit obvious as everyone was waiting on Undertaker, but that’s not always the worst thing. Check this out if you need something to watch as it’s a very impressive show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: April 9, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s a special week around here as we have the post Wrestlemania edition of the show. That likely means a lot of explaining about how big Wrestlemania was, which doesn’t exactly live up to the hype since it’s being held in the same arena as this show. There were some big moments over the week though so maybe we’ve got something here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Natalya vs. Aliyah

Natalya headlocks her down to start so Aliyah bails over to the ropes. Hold on though as Aliyah needs to fan herself off and shake hands with Natalya, who takes her down by the hand and stomps on the fingers. The basement dropkick puts Aliyah on the floor but she comes back in with a right hand to the face. That means a lot of shouting as Natalya gets stomped down in the corner. The abdominal stretch keeps Natalya in trouble until Aliyah lets go and misses a big boot in the corner. Now the Sharpshooter can go on for the tap at 5:18.

Rating: D. I’ve always liked Aliyah but this was every boring Natalya match I’ve ever seen. She’s always fine from a technical standpoint but egads there is nothing beyond that and never has been. It’s the same match that you’ve seen so many times and watching something just a step away from a squash isn’t exactly good stuff.

Video on the Boneyard match.

Video on Edge vs. Randy Orton’s Last Man Standing match.

Video on Becky Lynch vs. Shayna Baszler.

Video on Rhea Ripley vs. Charlotte.

Austin Theory vs. Shane Thorne

Thorne headlocks him to the mat to start so Theory forearms him away without much trouble. Theory goes after the leg and then the arm, followed by a dropkick to the floor. Back from a break with Thorne having to fight out of an armbar and hitting a Cannonball in the corner.

A Falcon Arrow gets two but Theory buckle bombs him into the leg trap brainbuster onto the knee. They slug it out and trade kicks to the head/ribs in a big strike off. Theory gets the better of it though and grabs a quick TKO to put Thorne away at 10:18.

Rating: C. This was better with both guys looking like they were putting in the extra effort due to being on a….well this isn’t a bigger stage than NXT but it’s certainly something different, and that could be something that gets someone new looking at them. Theory seems to be the next prospect around here, but since the idea of using developmental to develop people seems to have a very limited shelf life, here he is, probably too early.

Video on Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens.

Video on Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar.

From Raw.

We get some post Wrestlemania footage of McIntyre coming back into the arena wearing the title for an interview. Drew talks about how he can’t believe that he got here and it hasn’t sunk in yet. He thanks everyone who has gotten him here, including Paul Heyman. During the match with Brock Lesnar, Heyman said keep giving Drew the F5 because he can’t keep getting back up.

That made Drew think about all the times he has had to get back up so the F5’s just angered him over and over again. Now he’s WWE Champion….and here’s the Big Show with a referee. Show congratulates him and wants a match right now, not even for the title. Drew says he just beat Brock Lesnar so that’s not happening right now. Show thinks that’s fear but Drew knows what’s going on. That earns him a slap so Drew is ready to go.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Big Show

McIntyre is defending. Show starts fast and slams him down to bang up the ribs a bit. A headbutt cuts the champ off and a Vader Bomb gets two. There’s another slam to work on the ribs even more and Show chokes on the ropes while asking what Drew is made of. The big chop misses and Drew swings away, setting up a slam for two in a good looking spot. Drew goes up top and dives into a chokeslam for two. The KO Punch misses though and it’s the Claymore to retain at 6:57.

Rating: D+. A competitive match here is fine but my goodness they had me worried that they would actually do something this bad. The match was the usual slow and plodding Big Show deal but at least they didn’t pull the trigger for the sake of promoting Big Show’s Netflix series. Points for the drama, but negative points for making me think about the possibility.

Overall Rating: D. Nothing to see here, though Theory vs. Thorne was better than I would have bet on. This was mainly a bunch of Wrestlemania recap videos and the show wasn’t all that great in the first place. Main Event has someone become even less important in this era of WWE and while I get why it needs to exist, I’m not sure how much less interesting it can actually get.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXXVI Night Two
Date: April 5, 2020
Location: WWE Performance Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re back for more of the same and that might not be the worst thing in the world. Last night’s part one wasn’t half bad but they are going to have a hard time surpassing that main event. There are eight more matches, plus the required Kickoff Show match, tonight so hopefully they can have another good one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last night’s results if you need a recap.

Kickoff Show: Liv Morgan vs. Natalya

Morgan rolls her up for two to start so Natalya does the same for a standoff. Some more rollups get some more near falls until Morgan sends her into the corner. A running hip attack hits Natalya but she’s right back with her basement dropkick for two more. Natalya clotheslines her to the floor, followed by the surfboard back inside. Natalya: “ASK HER!!!!” That’s broken up and Liv’s Codebreaker gets two. The sitout wheelbarrow faceplant gives Natalya the same and they pinfall reversal sequence with Liv getting the pin at 6:33.

Rating: D+. Imagine that: a Natalya match being technically fine but completely emotionless. That’s been the definition of her career for years now and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. Liv getting a win is fine but there is no way that she is getting anywhere near the top of the division, leaving this as little more than a way to fill time.

Stephanie McMahon welcomes us to the show in a new message.

Same opening video as last night.

Rob Gronkowski welcomes us to the show and throws us to the first match.

NXT Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Ripley is defending. The feel each other out to start with Charlotte going straight to the leg. That doesn’t work so Rhea gets in her face, earning some chops into the corner. Ripley is right back with Riptide for two and it’s time for a quick breather. They fight to the floor with Charlotte hitting a double chop but Rhea sends her into the steps. Back in and Rhea hits a dropkick before kicking away at the ribs.

A bodyscissors keeps Charlotte down but Rhea misses a running big boot and hurts her leg on the rope. Charlotte works on the leg, shrugs off a shot to the head, and bends the leg around on the mat. Rhea won’t quit so Charlotte works on the leg again. Back up and Rhea nails a basement dropkick, followed by some shouting at her own knee. The leg is fine enough for an electric chair faceplant for two, followed by a missile dropkick for the same, albeit after a delay because of the knee.

Charlotte chop blocks the knee though and Rhea is down again. The Figure Four doesn’t work again and Rhea reverses into the standing Cloverleaf. That’s broken up as well and Charlott knocks her down with another hard shot. The Figure Four is broken up again so Charlotte goes with a Boston crab instead.

Ripley gets out again and hits a quick big boot (thanks to some editing) for the double knockdown. Rhea takes her up top but gets slammed back down, though she’s able to raise her boots to block the moonsault. A horrible looking spear gives Charlotte two but the Figure Four finally goes on. The Figure Eight makes Ripley tap at 20:26.

Rating: C+. CHARLOTTE! WINS!! AGAIN!!! I have no idea why they needed to have her beat Rhea clean in their first match but I’m sure it has something to do with some kind of tribute to Ric Flair, who hasn’t had one in a while. I’m sick of seeing Charlotte with a title and it almost scares me to imagine how many titles she’s going to wind up with in the end.

We recap last night.

Aleister Black vs. Bobby Lashley

Lana is here with Lashley. Black gets tossed around to start and Lashley hammers away, only to get low bridged to the floor. A running big boot puts Lashley on the floor but Black misses the moonsault. Lashley snaps off the overhead belly to belly but can’t get a suplex back inside. Instead Black kicks him in the chest, only to walk into a snap powerslam for two. Another suplex gets another two and Lashley loads up the Dominator, but Lana tells him to do the spear. That earns him Black Mass for the sudden pin at 7:14.

Rating: D+. This was a way to get Black on the show, and by that I mean a way for him to get beaten up until Lana and Lana alone cost Lashley the match. I’m glad Black won but if you want him to look good, just have him kick Lashley’s head off and win. It’s not like Lashley has anything going on at the moment, but now I’m sure we can get the big fallout with Lana now, because we need another part to that story.

Bayley complains about the elimination match and knows Sasha Banks won’t turn on her. With Bayley gone, Sasha is asked how much she wants to win the title. You’ll have to watch and see.

Money in the Bank ad.

Gronk would like to win the 24/7 Title.

We recap Otis vs. Dolph Ziggler. Otis was going to go on a Valentine’s Day date with Mandy Rose but Ziggler crashed it when Otis was late. Mandy wanted nothing else to do with Otis after that but it turns out that Sonya Deville stole Mandy’s phone and told Otis she would be late (and deleted the texts) so it would fall apart.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Otis

Sonya Deville is here with Ziggler. Otis misses a charge to start and gets superkicked outside in a hurry. That gets one back inside so Ziggler grabs a neckbreaker into the jumping elbow for two. The chinlock goes on but Otis is back up with a catapult. A hard whip sends Ziggler into the corner and a pop up World’s Strongest Slam plants him again. Sonya gets on the apron for a distraction though and Ziggler gets in a low blow. Cue Mandy to take out Sonya and hit Ziggler low, setting up the Caterpillar for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: D+. I was wrong on this one as I didn’t think they would let Otis pin Dolph. I’m rather please by the result and even though it wasn’t much of a match, at least they pulled the trigger on something. You can pencil in the mixed tag coming up and that’s all well and good, though I’m not sure where they can go after that.

Post match Otis picks Mandy up and they get the first kiss.

We recap Edge vs. Randy Orton. Edge came back at the Royal Rumble but Orton attacked him the next night and put him back on the shelf. Orton said Edge was an adrenaline junkie and he attacked him so Edge wouldn’t ruin his life like Orton did. To make it worse, Orton RKOed Edge’s wife (who is a Hall of Famer who wrestled earlier this year so we needed to act like he shot her). Now it’s a Last Man Standing match as this is very personal.

Edge vs. Randy Orton

Last Man Standing. Edge comes out first and glares at the stage for Orton….who is disguised as a cameraman and runs in for an RKO before the bell. The bell rings and it’s another RKO but Edge falls to the floor at nine. They fight back backstage with Orton knocking Edge through some doors. It goes onto the gym with Orton knocking him down again, setting up some choking with a rope on a machine.

Edge gets out and hits a dropkick through some machines before choking away at Orton. Some forearms put Orton in a chair and Edge pulls himself up on a bar for a seated senton of all things. Back up and they slug it out into another room with a red light. Both guys are sent face first into a garage door and it’s back into the arena. Orton shoves him off a platform and into the barricade before they stumble backstage again.

Edge’s head gets bounced off of another wall for a six count and it’s time to go into the office area. This time it’s Orton being sent into a wall but Edge kicks him in the ribs at nine. Orton gets thrown onto the big table so Edge pulls himself up onto part of the ceiling to drop an elbow. The cameraman gets knocked down but another one catches them up in the big storage facility in the back.

Both of them bounce off of various things until Orton knocks him onto a storage crate. Edge gets sent into some steps and Orton starts looking around. That’s good for another nine so they wind up in what looks like the promo area. Edge throws something at Orton’s leg to take him down and some more shots to the face do it again. Orton is placed on a table and drops a huge elbow.

They go to a truck with a cover on the bed and Orton hits the hanging DDT for nine. Edge climbs onto some crates and then on top of an NXT semi truck. Orton and the referee follow them up and it’s a spear to drop Orton. That’s good for nine but another spear is countered into an RKO.

Edge is up at nine as well but Orton has dropped down to the floor next to the biggest ladder I’ve ever seen in WWE (it’s on the floor and is WAY higher than the top of the semi truck). Instead Orton takes some chairs up to the top of the truck to load up the Conchairto. Edge grabs a head and arm choke though and Orton is out. Hold on though as Edge waves off the count so he can hit the Conchairto. Orton is finally done at 36:39.

Rating: B. This one is going to be divisive and I can understand that. If my math is right, this was the longest non-Iron Man match in Wrestlemania history, though it didn’t feel that long. It felt like two guys who wanted to hurt each other and were doing whatever they could to accomplish that. I liked the unique atmosphere and some of the spot, with the Conchairto making for a good finish.

After a quick breather, here’s Mojo Rawley with the Mob chasing him. Gronk shows up and dives off a platform to take out the pile, allowing him to pin Rawley for the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Street Profits vs. Austin Theory/Angel Garza

The Profits are defending. Dawkins shoulders Theory down to start and the champs start working on the arm. That’s fine with Theory, who sends Dawkins to the floor, allowing Theory to mock the dancing. Garza gets in a superkick on the floor, TAKES OFF HIS PANTS, and misses a clothesline so Dawkins can tag Ford in.

A DDT gets two on Ford and Garza hits the moonsault onto both champs on the floor. The Lionsault gets two more on Ford back inside but Ford pops up with an enziguri. Dawkins comes in and runs Garza over, only to get caught in Theory’s TKO. Ford frog splashes his way in for the save though and Dawkins gets the cover to retain at 6:23.

Rating: D+. If ever there was a match to cut for the sake of time. This was a weird one as there was no reason to believe the title change was taking place and then the finish felt like something the heels would do to win. There are no teams to challenge the Profits at the moment and I don’t see Theory and Garza changing that anytime soon.

Post match Garza and Theory stay on Ford but Bianca Belair runs in for the save. That means a KOD on Zelina.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Lacey Evans vs. Tamina vs. Naomi vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending and this is under elimination rules. Tamina shrugs off the gang attack to start so Lacey chop blocks her down. The other four slug it out with Bayley and Sasha double teaming Lacey. Naomi makes a quick save as a mini tag match breaks out. Tamina comes back in to run everyone over and we actually get a Team Bad reunion. That lasts for all of three seconds as everyone goes after Tamina, including something off the top each. A dog pile pin gets rid of Tamina at 6:23.

Naomi dives onto Sasha but Lacey misses a dive onto Bayley, earning a ram into the steps. A sunset flip gives Naomi two on Bayley and Sasha at the same time, followed by a sliding slip to both. The Rear View hits Sasha and a Bubba Bomb into the reverse Rings of Saturn….is broken up by Bayley. The Bank Statement gets rid of Naomi (Bayley: “DANCE TO THE BACK!”) at 10:36 and we’re down to three.

Bayley shouts about Lacey’s daughter though, allowing Lacey to avoid the running knee. Sasha is knocked silly instead so Lacey small packages Bayley for two. Back in and Sasha yells at Bayley, who shoves Sasha out of the way of the Woman’s Right. Lacey hits the second attempt though and Banks is done at 13:23.

After a replay where you can hear Cole shouting commentary, Bayley mocks Lacey with a salute and shoves her face against the rope. Lacey gets posted for two so Bayley ties her arm to the corner with the tag rope. Since that’s kind of a stupid plan, Lacey kicks her way out and hits the slingshot Bronco Busters in the corner. After a slow motion salute, Lacey’s double jump moonsault gets two. Cue Sasha with a Backstabber to Lacey though and Bayley’s weird bulldog driver retains at 19:15.

Rating: D. Well that was long and served little purpose. Bayley has held the title since last May (save for a four day Charlotte reign) and I’m not sure what else there is for her to do. Unless they do Bayley vs. Becky (unlikely), what is the point in keeping it on her much longer? I’m sure we’ll get to Bayley vs. Banks again eventually, but dang that sounds as appealing as watching this match all over again.

Titus O’Neil takes Gronk’s place as host.

Wrestlemania XXXVII is in Los Angeles.

We recap The Fiend vs. John Cena in the Firefly Fun House. After Cena said that he didn’t want to wrestle at this year’s show, Fiend popped up to challenge him. Cena accepted, and then Bray Wyatt went on to say that he blamed Cena for the rise of the Fiend. See, Cena beat him at Wrestlemania XXX and messed with Bray’s mind, leading to the creation of the Fiend. Therefore, tonight Cena goes to the Fun House.

John Cena vs. The Fiend

Cena makes his entrance but the Firefly Fun House pops up, with Bray saying that Cena is about to face himself. Then Cena is teleported to the Fun House (apparently the same way Seth Rollins got there back in October), where Ramblin Rabbit sends him through a door after the Fiend. Cena follows and finds the Vince puppet, asking if Cena has the ruthless aggression to make it in this company.

We see Wyatt copying the Kurt Angle promo to challenge Cena from 2002 and here’s 2020 Cena in 2002 Cena attire. Cena keeps saying RUTHLESS AGGRESSION but misses a bunch of shots. Bray: “You can look but you can’t touch!” And now it’s the Saturday Night’s Main Event opening, with Bray standing behind a cage and imitating Hulk Hogan. Cena (Johnny Largemeat) comes up and starts rapidly lifting weights, apparently destroying his arms in the process.

Vince and the Mercy the Buzzard are on commentary as Bray asks what happens when Cena realizes that Ego Mania has been running wild on him. Bray sends him off camera to the Smackdown Fist where Cena is the Dr. of Thugnomics, with Bray dancing to Basic Thuganomics. They’re back in the ring and Cena finds out that he can only speak in rhymes, including a Husky Harris reference.

Bray calls Cena a bully and a horrible person who takes the weaknesses of others and turns them into jokes. With that, Bray gives him the floor so Cena throws him Deez Nuts. Cena, in the Babe Ruth jersey from last year, misses a charge and gets knocked out by a chain. Now it’s Bray back in the Wyatt Family gear and sitting in the rocking chair as we see clips of Wrestlemania XXX.

The fans wanted and needed him that night and now it’s time to rewrite his own story. They’re back in the ring now with Bray dancing with the unconscious Cena and loading up Sister Abigail. He lets Cena go though and drops down, handing Cena a chair in a recreation of Wrestlemania XXX. Bray tells Cena to fix his mistake from last year but Bray disappears away from Cena’s swing.

And now it’s…..NWO MONDAY NITRO??? Bray is Eric Bischoff (with the jacket and a Wolfpac shirt) and introduces Cena as Hollywood Hogan. Cena takes Bray down and unloads as we see clips of Cena’s past. He wakes up as himself and sees that he’s beating up Huskus the Pig. The Fiend appears behind him and gives him the Mandible Claw to knock Cena out. We hear Cena’s promo about ending the most overrated overhyped superstar ever and the Claw goes back on with Bray counting the pin. Cena teleports away and the Fiend stands alone.

No rating as this wasn’t a match but I got into this. It’s a rather interesting character study of Cena and you can get what they’re going with in Fiend making him face his fears. Back in the day, CM Punk said that Cena had become the New York Yankees: the big bad who held people down and used money to get what he wants (or going from the Real American Hogan to Hollywood Hogan as they used here).

That’s what Fiend is showing Cena here and it scared Cena that he had changed so much and become what he fought against for so many years. Now granted, if you haven’t been glued to WWE for the last….oh eight years or so, this made no sense, but the effort and thought was ALL there and I got most of what they were going for, plus some of the complete insanity that went along with it. Not a match, but kind of a fascinating weird look into the WWE psyche.

We cut to Titus O’Neil. Titus: “I don’t know what I just saw.”

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Drew McIntyre. Lesnar is World Champion but Drew eliminated him from the Royal Rumble and then won the whole thing, earning him this spot. Drew has kicked his head off a few times since then to show he can hang with Brock.

Raw World Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and gets Claymored for two after about ten seconds. Another Claymore misses and it’s time to go to Suplex City. The F5 gets one and Brock isn’t happy. Another F5 gets two and there’s the third for another two. Another F5 is countered and McIntyre hits two more Claymores. A fourth gives Drew the pin and the title at 4:28.

Rating: D. I’m happy that McIntyre won but GOOD GRIEF STOP DOING THAT SAME MATCH OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER! It’s a cool idea one time and then don’t do it again for years. This is all Lesnar does anymore and now it’s creeping over into other main events too. It loses its impact when they keep doing it again and again and now you’ve grown to expect it every time. Anyway, great moment to end the show and McIntyre as champion is awesome, assuming they don’t have Lesnar win it back in two months again.

Overall Rating: C-. I didn’t like this one as much as last night’s but it still wasn’t terrible. This one definitely felt like the bigger show and had the more intriguing matches (for the most part). I’m not wild on some of the booking decisions but it felt more like a Wrestlemania and that’s what matters. The crowd being gone didn’t bother me as much either, but the wrestling itself just wasn’t as good. Overall, not bad but last night’s felt tighter and more enjoyable.

Overall Overall Rating: C. With something like this, it’s almost impossible to give the thing a fair rating. When you factor in the day in between and the weird atmosphere, the show was pretty much just ok. There were some very good matches but some that made me wonder why I was wasting my time. Overall it’s an enjoyable one off, but I’m still not behind the idea of a two night Wrestlemania going forward. Until WWE can cut these things WAY down and trim off so much of the unnecessary stuff, it needs to be one night and one night only, just for the sake of sanity if nothing else.

Results

Charlotte b. Rhea Ripley – Figure Eight

Aleister Black b. Bobby Lashley – Black Mass

Otis b. Dolph Ziggler – Caterpillar

Edge b. Randy Orton when Orton couldn’t answer the ten count

Street Profits b. Angel Garza/Austin Theory – Frog splash to Theory

Bayley b. Sasha Banks, Naomi, Tamina and Lacey Evans – Bulldog driver to Evans

Drew McIntyre b. Brock Lesnar – Claymore

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

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