Survivor Series 2008
Date: November 23, 2008
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 12,498
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Jim Ross, Tazz

The other major story on the show is Team Orton vs. Team Batista. Randy Orton vs. Batista had always been a match WWE wanted to push on a big stage but this is about as high as they ever got. They would face each other at various other pay per views in singles matches, but none as high profile as this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the exact same thing it’s been for two years. Literally, they’re the same clips before we get to the stuff about the main events.

JR and Taz talk about the Hardy issue and say that ABC and TMZ picked up the story. I seem to remember that being a lie.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali

John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

Shawn and JBL are feuding over Shawn being broke and needing money form JBL, Cryme Tyme (Shad Gaspard and JTG, two thug characters) are feuding with Miz and Morrison, Kane has been hunting Mysterio and Khali and MVP (in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and the US Title) are there to fill out the lineups. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once.

Rey hits a quick hurricanrana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s time for Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Naturally Shawn skins the cat to come back in, as he has for years. At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn gets back inside. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard hurricanrana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker. Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 victory.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

HHH doesn’t think he needs to give his opinion on the Jeff Hardy situation. Either way, Hardy will be back. Tonight it’s going to be him vs. Kozlov and HHH promises to give the Russian his first defeat.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Beth Phoenix, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Candice Michelle, Jillian Hall

Smackdown: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Maryse, Natalya

Candice is a model who wasn’t horrible in the ring, Maryse is a French Canadian bombshell and Natalya is a member of the Hart Family. Beth is the captain of Team Raw (and is dating Santino Marella) and McCool is captain of Team Smackdown. They’re also Women’s and Divas Champions respectively. For the sake of simplicity, only Michelle McCool will be referred to as Michelle. Beth and Michelle start things off with Beth controlling via a top wristlock. Michelle uses some decent chain wrestling to set up a dropkick to send Beth backwards a bit.

Maryse tags herself in and gets in a brawl with her own partner Michelle. Team Raw: “LET THEM FIGHT!” Good thinking. After the brawl is broken up, it’s Beth vs. Maria with Maria avoiding a charge and hitting a slow motion headscissors. Off to Kelly vs. Maria and hopefully this doesn’t last long. Victoria tags herself in and gets caught in a hurricanrana by Kelly for the pin. Kelly tries the same thing on Maryse for two so Maryse hits a backbreaker and gets the pin as well.

It’s 4-4 now and Mickie comes in while swearing a bit. A Thesz Press puts Maryse down and it’s off to Michelle again. They try to bridge into a backslide, fail miserably, and try again to a standoff. McCool hits a Russian legsweep for two and Mickie hits a clothesline for the same. Maria’s save hits McCool by mistake, allowing Mickie to hit the jumping DDT and pin Michelle. Mickie gets in an argument with Beth and gets rolled up by Maryse to tie it right back up.

Off to Candice vs. Natalya and they trade some rollups for two. Natalya busts out a Sharpshooter (it is the Survivor Series after all) but Jillian makes the save. Candice hits a spear for a quick pin on Natalya and it’s 3-2 with Jillian, Beth and Candice vs. Maria and Maryse.

It’s Jillian vs. Maria with Jillian getting two off a Samoan Drop. Maria grabs a quick victory roll to eliminate Jillian and ten seconds later, Candice hits a northern lights suplex to put Maria out. Maryse hooks an inverted figure four on Candice and we’re down to one on one. Maryse gets in a few shots and a rollup but the Glam Slam (double chickenwing slam) gives Beth the final pin very quickly.

Rating: D. As decent as last year’s was, this felt like your traditional Divas match. You had some decent workers but most of the girls are models who are there because of how they look in swimsuits. I’ve seen worse matches and the right choice was the survivor, but this just didn’t work for the most part.

Matt Hardy says that Jeff was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object, ending any drug speculation.

We recap Undertaker vs. Big Show. Show isn’t scared of Undertaker so he’ll win the casket match tonight.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Casket match and the casket gets the full druid entrance. I wonder if those guys hang out at catering after this. They have a nice casket this year too instead of the normally generic ones. Show took all of 2007 off and lost a ton of weight so he’s still kind of slim here. Well slim for him that is. I don’t think the bell rang but Show starts throwing punches anyway. One misses though and Undertaker tries to dump him into the casket to no avail.

They head to the floor and Undertaker’s headbutt has no effect. Show pounds away at the ribs and rams Undertaker face first into the announce table to daze the smaller giant. The announce table gets loaded up but Show headbutts him instead of putting Undertaker on the table. Undertaker grabs one of those big monitors WWE uses and bashes Show’s head in a few times with it. A BIG leg to put Show through the table in the huge spot of the match.

They slowly start heading back to the casket but take a detour into the ring instead. Old School is countered and things slow down again. There’s a side slam from Show as the crowd is a lot less interested than they were when Undertaker was on offense. The casket it opened and Undertaker is put inside but Show has to close the casket himself.

Since Show won’t close the lid, Undertaker comes back with a bunch of punches and the jumping clothesline. Show hits a big elbow in the corner to slow down Undertaker (and the crowd) again. For some reason Show loads up a Vader Bomb when Undertaker is half up and gets chokeslammed down.

The casket is opened again and a big boot to the side of Show’s head knocks him inside, but Show blocks the lid from being shut again. Back in and Show hits the chokeslam….then destroys the casket. Show starts walking away and there’s a wall of fire to stop him from leaving. Well of course there is. Undertaker goes after him and gets punched down again, but here are more druids with another casket.

Show punches Undertaker a bit more and stands the casket up so he can ram Undertaker into it and knock both of them down. The casket is stood up again but it’s open this time. Undertaker punches Show to the edge of the stage before whipping Show into the casket, causing it to fall and shut to give Undertaker the win.

Rating: D. This is considered a horrible casket match by some people but it’s really not that bad. It’s certainly a bad match but the ending was kind of creative and what are you expecting from Undertaker vs. Big Show? They’re going to hit each other a lot and it’s going to be slow, so why do people act surprised when any match with either of these two or Kane is the same formula? Not a good match but it’s definitely not terrible.

Carlito and Primo (cousins) hit on the Bellas but can’t tell them apart. In something I never thought I’d have to say again, the Gobbledygooker pops up and the Colons think it’s Charlie Haas, but of course he pops up in the room and the Gooker is played by the Boogeyman. This would be another pointless segment.

Randy Orton doesn’t want to be team captain but his team will win anyway. He implies Cody is the weak link of the team. Cody says that if Randy is eliminated first, it’s addition by subtraction. The team has to hold them apart.

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Randy Orton, Mark Henry, William Regal, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin

Batista, Kofi Kingston, CM Punk, R-Truth, Matt Hardy

Cody is being mentored by Orton in a group called Legacy, Shelton is US Champion, Matt is ECW Champion and Punk/Kofi are Raw Tag Team Champions. Orton cost Punk the Raw World Title back in October, Hardy and Henry are feuding over the ECW Title, Truth is chasing Shelton’s Title and Regal has been helping Orton against Batista. This is quite the intricate match for a change.

Punk immediately charges at Regal and hits the GTS for the elimination in about ten seconds. Shelton gets a very fast two on Punk before pounding away on his back. Off to Kofi who grabs a front facelock. Kofi is even more over here than usual as he went to college in Boston. Kofi tries a monkey flip but Shelton lands on his feet and brings in Henry to pound away slowly.

Henry apparently gets tired after a few seconds so here’s Cody. Matt comes in, does nothing of note, and tags in Truth who pounds away. Striker talks about what a killing Truth is making as we can hear a lot of spots being called here tonight. I don’t know if the ring is mic’d loudly or what but you can hear all kinds of stuff here. Batista comes in and everybody runs until it’s only Cody left to face him. Rhodes quickly tags out to Shelton but Batista takes him down with ease and gets two via a powerslam. Off to Matt vs. Randy as things speed up. A bulldog gets two for Matt but a moonsault misses.

It’s off to Henry who lost the ECW Title to Hardy a few months ago. Cody comes in and chokes a bit but there’s the double tag to Truth vs. Shelton. A victory roll gets two for Truth and he does his backflip into the splits spot. The spinning forearm misses completely and Paydirt (a jumping downward spiral) gets the pin for Shelton. Kofi immediately comes in with a springboard cross body for two and a dropkick to put Shelton down.

The Boom Drop gets another two for Kofi but Henry blasts Kofi in the back of the head. Henry comes in legally now for more quick pounding and it’s finally off to Orton. Orton does his really slow stomp but the knee drop misses. Randy drapes him over the top rope and hits the hanging DDT for the elimination. Punk is immediately waiting on Orton, who gets beaten up for a few moments but gets in a rake to the eyes and tags out to Cody.

Rhodes works on the arm for a bit but gets caught by the knee and bulldog combo for two. Punk goes up but Manu (the other member of Legacy who didn’t last long) distracts him long enough for Cody to shove him off the top. A DDT eliminates Punk quickly and we’re down to 4-2 with Batista/Matt vs. Orton/Cody/Henry/Benjamin. Matt comes in and hits a quick Side Effect for two on Rhodes but it’s quickly back to Henry. Matt hits an elbow to the back of Henry’s head and manages to pull off the Side Effect for two. That’s about it for Hardy as the World’s Strongest Slam takes him out, leaving Batista all alone.

Batista immediately spears down Henry to make it 3-1 as Shelton comes in. Benjamin gets caught in a spinebuster almost immediately and the Batista Bomb gets is down to 2-1. Cody comes in and peppers Batista with some right hands before charging into a boot. Batista powerslams Rhodes down and says Orton is next. Batista hits the Bomb on Rhodes but Randy made a blind tag while Cody was in the air. The RKO gets the elimination and win for Rhodes and Orton.

Rating: B. This was a kind of throwback to the old school Survivor Series matches where the numbers finally caught up with the big face and he got beat. Orton vs. Batista was one of the big matches that WWE never really got to do on the scale I think they were hoping for. They would have a long match next month at Armageddon but that’s hardly the second main event at Wrestlemania which they were capable of having. Still though, good stuff here and the best match of the night by far.

Kozlov says he’ll win.

Hardy is officially out of the title match tonight.

The recap video is pretty pointless now because the video is mostly about Jeff. Kozlov is here because HHH wanted to have some big epic match with him that no one but him was interested in. Jeff is here because he keeps getting so close to winning the title so EVIL Vickie wouldn’t let him in the match. Jeff invaded the contract signing and beat up a lot of people until he was put in the match.

Smackdown World Title: Vladimir Kozlov vs. HHH

HHH is defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans chant USA of course and for once it’s actually appropriate. Kozlov, the amateur wrestler/combat sports expert, takes it to the mat with amateur stuff. Now remember that, because it’ll become important later. HHH gets on the mat with him and hooks a headlock. The fans now chant boring as we hit a standoff. Now they want Hardy.

They trade arm holds on the mat and then trade even more arm holds on the same mat. Back up and HHH hits the high knee and a facebuster followed by the DDT for no cover. The fans chant for TNA before HHH hits the spinebuster. Kozlov counters the Pedigree and hits the headbutt to the chest to take HHH down. Vladimir sends HHH into the corner and out to the floor where very little happens.

Back in and a fall away slam gets two for the challenger and he fires some shoulders to the ribs. A powerslam gets another two and it’s off to a body grip to slow things down even more. Kozlov hits a pair of backbreakers for two and it’s back to that grip. HHH comes back with some right hands but gets powerslammed down for another two. A comeback by HHH is countered into a belly to belly as Taz says Kozlov is going to win, further dooming him to lose. HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere and here’s Smackdown GM Vickie Guerrero.

She says he’s here and makes it a triple threat, with the third man being the returning Edge. Edge does the psycho eyes on the way to the ring and I think a cameraman fell off the ramp as he was filming. Edge spears down HHH and here’s Jeff Hardy to destroy the Canadian. His chair shot hits HHH though, allowing Edge to steal the pin and the title.

Rating: D. There’s a lot to say here. First and foremost, as usual I disagree with anyone who said this was the worst match of the year. It’s arguably not even the worst match of the show, but think about this for a minute: are you telling me there isn’t some terrible Divas match somewhere in the year worse than this? Or that Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella at Cyber Sunday was indeed better?

This match was indeed bad, but let’s think about this for a minute. Kozlov is supposed to be a combat sports expert and an amateur wrestler. So what did he do? He wrestled like his character was supposed to. Now was it boring? Absolutely. Was it a REALLY stupid move to put him in a World Title match? Absolutely. Were the fans interested? Not at all. If you want proof, back at Cyber Sunday the options for the title match were HHH vs. either guy, or a triple threat. The results were as follows:

Hardy – 57%

Triple Threat – 38%

Kozlov – 5%

Based on that alone, it’s clear that almost no one wanted to see HHH vs. Kozlov one on one. The interest just wasn’t there, so they booked a triple threat instead which there was interest in. Then they screw the fans out of their money by taking Jeff out of the match because of whatever their reasoning was. Then they flip the fans off AGAIN by having Hardy run in at the end. Hardy would pin Edge in another triple threat the next month to win the title in a shocker. Why this match didn’t happen here is beyond me, but again it’s screwing the fans out of what was advertised until the night before the show.

At the end of the day though, no one bought Kozlov as a real threat to the title. The guy just wasn’t going to be WWE Champion with the response he got, which is why Hardy was the interesting factor in this match. Without him, you have twelve minutes of your time being wasted until the ending, which should have been Hardy. Anyway, nothing to see here but it’s not the worst match of the year.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. Jericho snuck into the Championship Scramble match last month at Unforgiven and stole the World Title while Cena was on the shelf. Tonight, Cena returns from a neck injury to try and get his title back. In his hometown. Against a guy that has literally only beaten him once. And we’re supposed to expect Jericho to have a chance because we’re supposed to ignore all that stuff.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

Jericho is defending of course. Cena almost immediately tries the FU but Jericho bails to the apron. Jericho comes back with a headlock which works on the neck followed by a shoulder block to take Cena to the floor. John holds his neck a lot and looks shaken. Back in and Cena pounds away in the corner as they’re hitting hard but the pace of the match is pretty slow if that makes sense. Jericho takes over and things continue to go slowly.

Cena comes back with the Throwback and goes up for the Fameasser, only to come down because that’s the move that hurt his neck in the first place. Jericho takes over again and things go slowly. A kick to the side of Cena’s head puts him on the floor for a nine count. Back in and Cena slugs away but gets sent right back to the floor. Jericho throws him into the steps and heads back in for a neck crank.

After the hold is broken, it’s time for more choking followed by a full nelson. The hold lasts almost a minute and a half but Cena blocks the bulldog. A shoulder puts Jericho down but the second shoulder connects. Jericho misses the Lionsault but the Shuffle is countered into the Liontamer (kneeling Walls of Jericho)! He hasn’t used that in years but it looks awesome. Cena escapes the hold so Jericho puts on the regular Boston Crab instead. Cena, after being in the hold over a minute straight, grabs the rope to escape. Back up and Cena hits an FU out of nowhere but can’t follow up.

Both guys head up to the top with Cena slamming him to the mat, followed up by the top rope Fameasser. Cena is all fired up now but Jericho breaks up the FU and hits a Codebreaker for a delayed two. Jericho takes over and hits a clothesline followed by an EVIL smirk. He smirks a bit too much though and Cena grabs the STFU. Cena has to try to pull the hold back to the middle of the ring and Jericho kicks him away. The champ tries a small package but Cena pulls him up into the FU for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. The match itself was fine but there was less drama in this than in a Donald Duck cartoon. At the end of the day, Cena does not lose to Jericho and he does not tap out no matter what. The wrestling was fine and it told a story and all that jazz, but I’d rather have a main event where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen than a match being designed for Cena to have everything come together and win and then everything coming together to win.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been doing so many of these lately, but this wasn’t the most interesting show in the world. It was dull at times and almost felt like a chore to sit through. The first hour or so is WAY worse than the rest of the show, but even the last two thirds aren’t all that great. This didn’t work that well and it’s not something I want to see again.

Ratings Comparison

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Original: B+

Redo: C

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Original: D-

Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team Batista

Original: C-

Redo: B

Edge vs. HHH vs. Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D+

Redo: D

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

I’ve flipped on the two male Survivor Series matches but other than that it’s about the same.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/17/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2008-let-jericho-beat-cena-once-just-one-time/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Survivor Series 2007
Date: November 18, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz, Joey Styles

The company has finally settled down to the point where major changes are mostly done. The three rosters are working well enough and talent is moving from show to show fast enough to keep things interesting. There has however been one change, though it’s more the end of an experiment: all pay per views are now done by all brands, meaning there are no more Raw or Smackdown pay per views. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how this started twenty years ago, as you would expect it to. It also talks about the main event matches tonight, as you would expect it to as well.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Punk is defending and Miz (a reality TV star turned wrestler) and Morrison (formerly Johnny Nitro) are Smackdown Tag Team Champions. The team of course jumps CM at the same time because one on one, neither have a chance to beat Punk. Punk kicks the tar out of Miz’s head and gets a quick two on Morrison. Both challengers are sent to the floor where Punk takes both of them out with a suicide dive. Back in and Punk gets caught in a double suplex after the springboard clothesline fails.

Miz and Morrison double team Punk but Miz is the first of the heels to go extra heel, dumping Morrison out to the floor. He hooks a chinlock on Punk but has to let go to knock Morrison back to the outside. Punk kicks Miz in the head but Morrison comes back in with a backbreaker to CM followed by a cobra clutch (called a Japanese sleeper by Joey Styles).

Miz pulls Punk to the floor and rams him into the concrete to get us down to the challengers fighting. Morrison sends him into the corner chest first and hits the yet to be named Starship Pain for two. Punk comes back in and hurricanranas Morrison off the top into a powerbomb from Miz in a SWEET looking move. That only gets two but it got a BIG reaction from the crowd.

With Morrison pretty much dead, Punk kicks Miz in the face for two and hits the knee/bulldog combo for the same. Punk hits a backbreaker on Miz but Morrison grabs a rollup and trunks on the champ for two. Morrison escapes the GTS but gets knocked to the floor, allowing Punk to hit the GTS on Miz for the pin to retain.

Rating: C. Other than that hurricanrana/powerbomb spot, this was only ok. Punk had to carry the whole thing but you could see something special in Miz. It’s a little easier to see it now, but some people thought Miz would be the bigger deal because of this match. I’m not sure if I’d agree based on this match, but Miz did indeed look better than Morrison here. This was a pretty good choice for an opener, but the execution wasn’t great because Punk didn’t have enough to work with.

We recap MVP turning on Matt Hardy and taking out his knee. They had been partners for a long while before this but everyone thought MVP was evil the whole time, and this was the not very shocking turn.

MVP says that Matt won’t be competing tonight because he needs crutches to get by. That doesn’t surprise MVP, because Matt has always needed a crutch, be it either Jeff or MVP. Oh and he’s better than Matt.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. Maria is a gorgeous ditzy redhead, Torrie is a bombshell, McCool is a pretty blonde, Phoenix is a very strong woman, Jillian is ditzy as well and Layla is a British woman who dances a lot. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Melina falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (later Tara in TNA) down and it’s off to Torrie who isn’t very good in the ring. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up Torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight (spinning kick to the face after a kiss) on Melina for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kicking another hot woman in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Coach and Regal are in the back looking smug. Hornswoggle, who is Vince’s son at this point, is pacing very nervously. Remember that he faces Khali tonight.

Orton says history isn’t going to be made tonight. He’s going to beat Shawn because if Shawn uses the superkick, Shawn loses the match.

Shawn is here for revenge tonight because Orton has tried to hurt him and take his livelihood. Therefore tonight, Shawn is going to take the title.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Cade and Murdoch (two rednecks) are defending. Rhodes (Dusty’s son) is brand new at this point and spent weeks getting beaten up by Holly before Holly respected him enough to team with him. Cody and Cade start things off with the rookie getting hiptossed down. The crowd pretty much died as soon as the bell rang, which should tell you about the tag team situation at the time as these are the best Raw had for their belts.

Off to the very redneck Murdoch who chops away but gets caught in a headlock. Yeah Cody didn’t quite get anywhere as a worker for a long time. Holly comes in and is immediately beaten down by Cade. The crowd is reacting a bit so it’s not totally dead but it’s nothing special. The heels are sent into each other and fall out to the floor as Holly takes over. We actually get a HOLLY chant for the only time I can ever remember.

A rollup gets two for Hardcore and it’s off to Murdoch via a blind tag. Holly gets his head kicked off and things slow back down again. The champs tag in and out a lot before Cade picks up Murdoch to drop him down with a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock on Holly which goes nowhere so Holly suplexes Trevor down. Cade misses an elbow drop but Holly still can’t tag out.

Cade tries that dropping Murdoch into a legdrop move again but as almost always is the case, it doesn’t work this time. Warm tag brings in Cody who hits a missile dropkick on Lance for two. Holly and Cade fall to the floor and Murdoch hits something resembling a Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver, though this was much more like a sunset flip than a piledriver) to retain.

Rating: C-. Another so-so match here but at the end of the day, it’s Hardcore Holly and a rookie Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch. That’s only going to take you so far as the fans aren’t going to care about it for the most part. I don’t get why they didn’t change the titles here as Holly and Rhodes would get the belts in a month (and hold them for SIX MONTHS) anyway.

The announcers explain the concept of a Survivor Series match to the uninitiated. That’s something you hardly ever see anymore: a basic explanation of WHAT IS GOING ON. Sometimes you need to slow things down a bit and tell people how things work. If you’re flipping through the channels and see something flashy like wrestling, you’re likely to stop but if you have no idea what’s going on, you’re not likely to stay. Gorilla Monsoon was a master at doing this.

Team HHH isn’t worried about being down 5-4 coming into the match (Matt Hardy was hurt) but Kane says he isn’t an underdog. We recap the Katie Vick angle (HHH: “Uh…..yeah sorry about that.” If you don’t know what this is, be glad and keep it that way.) and Jeff reminds HHH that he put him in the hospital. HHH is sorry about that too and says tonight they can unite in the idea of doing something terrible to someone else.

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

HHH, Kane, Jeff Hardy, Rey Mysterio

Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, Big Daddy V

Big Daddy V is a much fatter Mabel. Kennedy’s mic doesn’t work for the live intro at first so we can only hear the ending. Jeff is Intercontinental Champion and MVP is US Champion. Remember that we’re starting at 5-4 because Matt is gone. Rey and Kennedy get things going with Kennedy using a rare power advantage to take over. Kennedy pounds in the corner but gets caught in a sunset bomb before it’s off to Jeff for a BIG pop. Rey and Jeff combine for some Poetry in Motion and Kennedy is in trouble.

Scratch that trouble as Jeff runs into an elbow (JBL: “That’ll knock the purple out of your hair!”) and it’s off to MVP. MVP limps a bit which apparently is a fake injury. Or maybe he’s making fun of Matt Hardy. Off to the 550lb Big Daddy V who uses his big fat man offense on Jeff, before stupidly throwing Jeff to the corner for a tag to Kane.

V almost immediately belly to belly suplexes Kane down for two but Kane comes back with some clotheslines in the corner. A top rope clothesline puts V down again but Kane has to chokeslam Finlay. V hits a Samoan Drop and a big elbow on Kane for the upset elimination. HHH comes in and hits the facebuster on the monster but gets caught by a clothesline to shift the momentum right back.

We get the match that everyone is looking forward to in HHH vs. Umaga and the fans don’t react at all. Umaga takes him down with a belly to belly of his own and a headbutt has HHH in trouble. Umaga misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the hot tag to Rey. Rey pounds away but almost immediately gets knocked down by the other monster. Mysterio goes after the leg but a hurricanrana is just a bad idea. Actually it isn’t as he swings Umaga into the 619, followed by a springboard seated senton for two. Umaga unleashes a BIG SAMOAN SCREAM and hits a spinning release Rock Bottom and the Spike to eliminate Rey.

So it’s all five villains vs. Jeff and HHH, and it’s not that the two superheroes are likely to run through all five and win or anything like that of course. Jeff vs. Kennedy starts things off and Hardy is in trouble quickly. I don’t think Jeff really gets going until he looks like he’s been thrown out of a building though. Jeff comes back with a dropkick but the slingshot dropkick in the corner misses due to an MVP assist. Cole talks about how that’s the second time MVP has caused that move to miss in three days. JBL: “Maybe MVP is just smarter than the Hardys.”

Off to MVP who hooks a chinlock on Jeff which goes on for a while. Jeff fights up but gets gets caught in a fireman’s carry drop. MVP starts talking trash to the fans and walks into a Twist of Fate to make it 4-2. Kennedy is in next and walks into an enziguri, which allows for the tag off to HHH. A high knee sets up a clothesline for two for HHH followed by a spinebuster. HHH sees the human whale known as Big Daddy V coming and avoids an elbow which crushes Kennedy and allows HHH to make it 3-2.

V gets both superheroes on the floor and crushes Hardy against the post to put him down for awhile. Back in the ring HHH and Hardy avoid a charge in the corner and hit a double DDT on V for the elimination. I’ve always wondered how basic moves when a monster is fresh is enough to eliminate them. These guys have no stamina at all.

It’s HHH/Jeff vs. Finlay/Umaga if you’re keeping track. Finlay comes in and pounds away on HHH while JBL talks about how great Finlay is. Finlay goes to the middle rope and jumps into HHH’s boot to put both guys down. Hot tag brings in Jeff for a hard Irish whip into the corner and the slingshot dropkick for two. Jeff goes to the apron and is immediately drilled by Umaga to give the evil foreigners control again. Finlay whips Jeff into the corner but gets caught by a Whisper in the Wind. A mule kick staggers Umaga and there’s the hot tag to HHH to meet Finlay. The high knee puts Finlay down and there’s a spinebuster to follow it up.

The Pedigree is loaded up but Umaga kicks HHH’s head off to break it up. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) is escaped and there’s the Pedigree to make it 2-1. Umaga DESTROYS HHH in the corner but the running attack misses by a mile. The Pedigree and Swanton Bomb connect and we’re done.

Rating: B-. The match was pretty fun stuff but once we got down to 5-2, it was a matter of guessing what order the five were going out in rather than who was going to win. That being said, it’s probably the right move as HHH would move on from Umaga after this and take to feud with Orton. That feud would follow Hardy vs. Orton at the Rumble, so this was definitely a launching pad for the two survivors back to the main event.

Shaquille O’Neal is here.

Hornswoggle is still nervous in the back. Tonight’s match is another of those tough love things from Vince. Speaking of the boss, he comes in and Hornswoggle immediately hugs his leg. This is one of those things that I think WWE missed about Hornswoggle: he acts like a child.

Allow me to lose control for a second. HE HAS A FULL BEARD! THE GUY IS IN HIS TWENTIES! HORNSWOGGLE IS NOT A CHIL……why am I annoyed by this? It’s Hornswoggle. Vince says he made this match because Hornswoggle is a McMahon and therefore has to rise to the occasion. He compares this to his battles with Turner and the US government. Vince gives him a pep talk and Hornswoggle is ready.

Here’s Shane McMahon to the arena, rocking a suit. Shane introduces Vince and apparently they’ll be in the corner of Hornswoggle tonight. Well that’s nice of them. JBL says this is going to be Biblical. Cole: “This isn’t the Bible.”

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq (Shaquille O’Neal) but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want.

Hornswoggle takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. He kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE! Hornswoggle dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn.

Rating: D-. Well, there was at least a purpose so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though and the whole story really wasn’t the most entertaining. At the end of the day, this is a big comedy angle designed to get……actually I’m not sure who this is designed to get over. Not that it worked anyway but some clarification would be nice.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Hornswoggle’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

Alfonso Soriano, a baseball player, is here.

We recap Shawn vs. Orton. Shawn had the title won in a previous match but Orton intentionally got himself disqualified and then punted Shawn to the shelf for a few months. Shawn admitted he wanted revenge but Vince banned the superkick for no apparent reason other than being evil.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending, if Orton gets DQ’ed the title changes, Shawn can get no more shots if he loses, and if Shawn attempts to use the Superkick, he loses the match. Shawn almost immediately goes to the cravate and Orton spends nearly two minutes trying to fight out of it. Now that’s a (European) headlock. Orton escapes in the corner and Shawn raises his leg for the kick but the referee says that wasn’t an attempt. It’s going to be one of those referees I guess.

Orton drops down as Shawn runs the ropes so Shawn gets on Randy’s back and chokes away. The hold switches to a front facelock as they’re spending a lot of time in holds so far. Randy finally gets to the floor where Shawn fakes diving over the top so he can dropkick him through the ropes before faking ANOTHER dive and hitting an Asai moonsault in a good sequence. Back in and Orton rolls through a crossbody for two before hitting an uppercut to take over.

Shawn fights up and throws on the required Sharpshooter until Orton finally makes the rope. Orton comes back with a thumb to the eye and snaps Shawn across the top rope to take over. The Elevated DDT hits for two. It’s off to a chinlock by Orton as the hold marathon continues. It’s not boring or bad but it’s a very different way of going about a match.

Shawn fights back but walks into a dropkick for two. He catches another dropkick in mid air and slams Randy down a few times before hitting the top rope elbow for two. By instinct, Shawn tunes up the band but he fakes Orton out by making him duck and grabs a rollup for two. Brilliant psychology there.

In a move I was shocked to see at the time, Shawn puts on a Crossface. Remember that this is just five months after Benoit so that’s not a move you would have expected to see here. Orton finally gets a leg over the rope and Shawn looks spent from that not working. He tries the hold again but Randy clotheslines his head off for two. Orton hits the backbreaker and loads up the same Punt which kept Shawn out for five months.

Randy gets a running start but Shawn grabs an ankle lock with a grapevine to make Orton scream. Orton uses the good leg to kick Shawn away and break the hold. Why don’t more people do that to Angle? Michaels tries the Figure Four but Orton kicks him into the post. Shawn pulls up the foot for the kick but since he has to stop, Orton hits the RKO for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. I was digging the psychology here as Shawn had to come up with all kinds of ways to beat Orton instead of the superkick. It says a lot about Shawn that the only way they could have Orton be able to hang in a fight with him was to take away Shawn’s big move. Orton would hold the title for another five months or so until HHH (of course) took it away from him.

Orton demands that Shawn say Orton is the future but Shawn is pretty out of it. Not out of it enough though as there’s the superkick we were waiting on.

Cole is talking about the main event and SAVE US. For those of you unfamiliar, this was a series of videos that popped up at random on shows with what looked like the Matrix announcing that someone was coming to SAVE US. It would be revealed the next night that it was the return of Chris Jericho.

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Undertaker. Batista lost the belt to Undertaker at Wrestlemania and they feuded for the title on a few PPVs. After a cage match on Smackdown, Edge cashed in the MITB contract and won the title from Undertaker. Later, Edge was hurt and had to vacate the belt, which was won by Khali. Batista eventually beat Khali for the belt and Undertaker came back to challenge him for it.

They fought at Cyber Sunday with Batista winning, which made them 1-1 with a few draws. Undertaker wanted one more match and Batista was perfectly cool with that, but Undertaker wanted it in the Cell. See how that worked? It was a natural progression with the Cell being the FINAL match between them (one on one at least). That’s a logical progression that you rarely get anymore.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Batista is defending. Undertaker charges to start and is caught in a headlock before getting run over by Big Dave. Undertaker shrugs it off and tries an early chokeslam but Batista fights out of it. This is one of those feuds where you don’t bother with the basic stuff and go with the big power moves because that’s all that’s going to have any effect. Undertaker clotheslines him down and pounds away in the corner. We’re still in the early going here so this doesn’t mean a lot yet.

The Snake Eyes and big boot get two for Undertaker and it’s already chair time. Batista hits a BIG spear to take Undertaker down and gets the chair. That goes badly for the champ as Undertaker kicks the chair back into his face and gets two off a clothesline. They head outside and Undertaker keeps control with a solid shot into the steps. Batista gets raked against the Cell and there’s the legdrop on the apron.

To stay on the throat, Undertaker puts the chair over Batista’s throat and slams the bottom of the chair into the steps. The champ is bleeding from the mouth now. Back in and Undertaker covers by driving a forearm into the throat. Undertaker is kind of the heel in this match, which says A LOT about how over Batista was here. Back in, Undertaker loads up Old School but Batista catches him in the spinebuster in a cool counter.

They slug it out and Batista takes over with a clothesline that gets two. Batista hits a powerslam and takes it back to the floor. They’ve done a solid job here of having both guys dominate for a long stretch which usually works well for a big time match. Undertaker whips Batista into the Cell to take over again so maybe what I just said is nonsense. Batista gets rammed head first into the steel and things are starting to pick up.

A chair shot keeps Batista down and the champ is cut open on the forehead. Batista blocks Old School again and hits a superplex to put both guys down. As Batista is crawling over to him, the Dead Man tries the Hell’s Gate (triangle choke) but it’s not on full. Batista makes the rope and heads to the floor for a breather, setting up the Undertaker Dive over the top rope.

Undertaker picks up the steps and tries to ram Batista with them, but the champ pulls himself up using the cage and kicks them back into Undertaker’s face. Batista picks up the steps and just rams Undertaker in the head with them four or five times to draw blood. Back in and Batista does the stupid thing of punching Undertaker in the corner and gets a Last Ride for his efforts. That only gets two and the pop isn’t huge from the crowd. They know we’re getting A LOT of finishers before a pin here.

There’s a chokeslam but it only gets two. The Tombstone is countered into a spinebuster for two and there’s another spinebuster for good measure. It’s table time and Batista easily powerbombs him through it….for two. There’s the pop from the crowd on the kickout that we were looking for. Now the Animal loads up the steps but Undertaker backdrops him onto said steps for two. The Tombstone hits….for two again, making Batista one of a handful of people to survive the Last Ride, Tombstone and a chokeslam.

Undertaker KILLS Batista with a Tombstone on the steps but someone pulls the referee out of the ring at two. It’s the returning Edge, who I presume was hiding under the ring the whole time. He steals a camera and clocks Undertaker with it before hitting a Conchairto on the steps. Batista has no idea this is going on after the Tombstone. Edge pulls the champ on top and the pin is pretty much academic.

Rating: B+. This was very good but it never quite got to that level that they were hoping for it to I don’t think. The problem is this was match was based on respect instead of hatred which takes a lot out of a match like this. Edge would win the title in a triple threat next month and eventually lose it to Undertaker at Wrestlemania.

After the Cell is raised, Edge beats on Undertaker some more to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a nice surprise. The Tag Team Title match is some uninspired stuff but other than that (ignoring the non-match between Khali and Hornswoggle) there’s nothing bad on here at all. The Divas match is what it is and if the worst thing I have to do is look at Kelly Kelly and Maria in barely there shorts for five minutes, I’ve got a good show on my hands. The big matches delivered and the other matches aren’t bad so this is a solid show all around and worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. The Miz

Original: B-

Redo: C

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

Original: D

Redo: D

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes

Original: D

Redo: C-

Team HHH vs. Team Umaga

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Great Khali vs. Hornswoggle

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: D+

Redo: B

Batista vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

The main thing I’ve learned about myself from these redos is that I was a lot looser with my grades back then. The redo grades here are a lot more toned down and it’s a bit harder to please me now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/16/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2007-batista-vs-undertaker-in-the-cell/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2006
Date: November 26, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,400
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Another match of note on the show is Mickie James challenging Lita for the Women’s Championship in what would be Lita’s final match. Combining this with Trish Stratus leaving just a few months earlier, the Divas division was in a huge state of flux with the two biggest stars it ever had leaving in the span of a few months. Let’s get to it.

This is the 20^th show so we talk about tradition and all that jazz. Then it turns into a regular video about a PPV, but a good one.

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Legends: Ric Flair, Sgt. Slaughter, Ron Simmons, Dusty Rhodes

Spirit Squad: Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, Mikey

Slaughter is replacing a cancer ridden Roddy Piper. Actually he got very lucky as he got a concussion because of a Conchairto from Edge, and on the tests the cancer was found. Arn Anderson is here with the Legends and we get the awesome Horsemen music. The only member of the Squad (a group of male cheerleaders) still around is Nicky, more famous as Dolph Ziggler, so I’ll spare you from an explanation. Kenny is the only other one that stuck around after the team split up anyway.

Simmons and Mikey start things off and guess who wins the slugout. Ron beats up all of them but Mitch, the fifth member of the squad not in the match, interferes and gets Ron on the floor. Mitch’s distraction leads to Simmons getting counted out. Mitch (the other cheerleader) gets ejected but Simmons beats him up first. Anderson gets ejected as well for no apparent reason. The Philly fans are TICKED. Nicky comes in to face Sarge and he mocks the salute. Fan: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!”

Sarge beats him up with ease and it’s off to Dusty for some gyrating and elbows to the arm. It’s Flair time and you know the Philly fans are all for that one. A chop later and it’s right back to Slaughter who hooks the Cobra Clutch, but Dusty and Kenny come in to fight, allowing Johnny to kick Sarge in the head to give Nicky a pin. Off to Dusty who hits the bionic elbow on Nicky for the immediate elimination, making it 3-2. Dusty gets caught in the corner but he gyrates it off.

The Flip Flop and Fly takes Kenny down but another elbow misses, giving Kenny a rollup (with a handful of jeans) pin. It’s Kenny/Johnny/Mikey vs. Flair now with Mikey starting first. Flair chops him into the corner but Mikey starts punching away. Ric hits a quick atomic drop and gets a rollup with feet on the ropes (now THAT is vintage Flair) for the elimination. Kenny gets in some shots but ducks his head and gets cradled for the pin, leaving Flair vs. Johnny. Less than a minute later it’s a Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C-. This was exactly what it was expected to be and that’s all it should have been. The legends were there to have a feel good nostalgia moment and get eliminated so Flair, the only one who had been active in the last three years or so, could knock out all of the Squad and give the fans a feel good moment. Also it’s only about ten minutes long so it’s not like this was anything major. It’s not a good technical match, but if that’s what you’re expecting here, you missed the point entirely. Besides, the Squad was gone literally the next night.

Post match the Squad beats down Flair and the Legends….are nowhere in sight. Kind of a downer.

We recap Benoit vs. Chavo. Benoit came back from an injury and won the US Title but Vickie and Chavo, his former friends, wanted nothing to do with him. Chavo and Vickie didn’t like Rey making his name off Eddie’s legacy, which is true but I don’t blame Rey for it. Chavo injured Rey’s knee (Mysterio needed time off for surgery) but when Benoit tried to make the save, the Guerreros weren’t happy. There was also some nonsense about Eddie’s estate which didn’t going anywhere.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Benoit, the champion, pounds away to start and hits a quick backbreaker for one. Some knees to the ribs set up a snap suplex for another two. Chavo comes back with a bunch of forearms and stomps in the corner, only to get caught in the Crossface. Vickie makes the save by putting Chavo’s boot on the rope. Chavo hits a pair of suplexes for two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Benoit comes out of it with a Samoan drop of all things but gets dropkicked right back down for two. Another suplex is countered and Benoit rolls some Germans to set up the swan dive. Vickie grabs Benoit’s foot and the distraction makes the dive miss, sending Chris’ head crashing into the mat again. Chavo suplexes him down (again) but the frog splash only gets two. Benoit loads up the Sharpshooter but gets kicked off into Vickie who is on the apron. There’s the Crossface and Chavo taps out.

Rating: D+. That’s likely a bit low but this was a dull match. Chavo came off as more of an annoyance than a challenge here and that never makes for an entertaining match. I still shudder whenever I see Benoit take a head shot like he did off the swan dive as I always wonder which shot was the point of no return for him.

Lita says that she’s done after tonight’s match (that’s actually true) and she’s glad it’s in front of these horrible fans in Philadelphia. Edge makes some Donovan McNabb jokes and says his team is going to take out Team DX. After he leaves, Cryme Tyme leaves Lita’s locker room with a box of her stuff.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James

Lita is defending and slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far. The fans think Lita is a crack w****. Their words, not mine.

A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. Off to a sleeper from Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes. Again, their words not mine. Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two. Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.

Rating: D. Most of that is for the ending with Lita’s head bouncing off the mat. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.

Lita asks for a microphone and makes Lillian tell the crowd to cheer for her. She doesn’t like being booed and is glad to get to leave in front of Philly because its fans suck. Here’s Cryme Tyme with the box of Lita’s stuff they stole earlier. They’re having a HO Sale and it’s cash only. The first item sold: Lita’s yeast infection medicine for one dollar.

Cryme Tyme realizes JBL is at the announce table and offer the goods to him. He says he’s the only person in America who doesn’t have some of Lita’s underwear so he gives them $100. The next item: Lita’s massager. That goes for 25 bucks and there’s only one thing left. It’s cheap, it’s wide, you can put your head in it: it’s Lita’s box. That goes for 20 bucks to end a hilarious segment.

Batista has nothing to say about the title match tonight. Booker attacked Batista at the contract signing and hit him in the throat with a scepter. After seeing a clip of it, Batista says he’s leaving tonight with the title.

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Team DX: Shawn Michaels, HHH, Hardy Boys, CM Punk

Team Rated-RKO: Edge, Randy Orton, Johnny Nitro, Mike Knox, Gregory Helms

This is Punk’s first major match and Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. DX plays to the crowd for a LONG time before the heel entrances. The fans of course LOVE Punk, so he gets to ask if the fans are ready. Helms, the current Cruiserweight Champion, is feuding with Matt Hardy at this point. Knox, a big power guy with a beard, has a chick named Kelly Kelly with him at the moment and she’s an exhibitionist. Rated-RKO are the Raw Tag Team Champions too so most of the gold in the company is in this match.

HHH asks Kelly to flash him and has Shawn cover his eyes. Knox comes in to stop it but Shawn kicks him in the face to eliminate him. Shawn to HHH: “Who was that guy?” Points for a funny bit if nothing else. Nitro comes in to speed things up but Shawn slides to the floor and puts his arm around Melina. We’ve got a comedy match here people. Off to Jeff who works on Nitro’s arm to continue their recent feud.

Off to Matt so the Hardys can hit some nice double team stuff. Nitro finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Helms. Matt is slammed off the top and it’s off to Edge to stomp on Matt. Well that’s appropriate. Back to Helms for a suplex and it’s immediately off to Orton. After some very basic stuff, here’s Nitro again so Melina can SCREECH. Matt hooks the Side Effect and there’s the tag to Punk. Punk immediately starts his strikes and hits the knee/bulldog in the corner.

Nitro blocks the Rock Bottom but the second attempt (with an assist from Matt) sets up the Vice for the tap out. Edge comes in to face Punk and the fans are very pleased. Punk pounds on him in the corner but Orton guillotines Punk on the top rope to give the heels their first advantage. Randy comes in and hits a dropkick for two before it’s back to Helms. After some knees to the face, Helms hits a one knee Codebreaker to put Punk down.

Back to Orton for a slugout with Punk, resulting in the RKO taking Punk down. Why Randy can’t cover immediately isn’t quite clear but Shawn makes the save anyway. Edge gets the tag but spears the buckle. JR: “That middle turnbuckle isn’t in the match!” Hot tag brings in HHH to face Helms and the beating is on fast. A facebuster puts Helms down but the Edge-O-Matic breaks up the Pedigree. Everything breaks down and Jeff and Shawn dive on Rated-RKO.

Matt comes in with the Twist on Helms followed by a Swanton to make it 5-2. The heels take their belts and walk but the Hardys will have none of that. Team DX take turns beating up both members and it’s Sweet Chin Music to eliminate Edge. So it’s Orton vs. five guys now and Randy tries to run, but the Hardys and Punk stop him. Back in and it’s Chin Music and the Pedigree to complete the sweep.

Rating: C-. This was entertaining but it’s kind of a questionable ending when you consider the captains were in a pretty big feud. The guy that gets the big rub here is Punk, as he goes from a guy on the C show to rubbing elbows with two of the biggest stars ever and one of the best tag teams ever. Fun match here but it didn’t really accomplish much.

We recap Kennedy vs. Undertaker. Kennedy is a very loud guy that likes to challenge legends and would become Mr. Anderson in TNA. Basically Kennedy wants to break the legend of Undertaker, or about the same thing as about half the feuds Undertaker has had in years. It’s a first blood match tonight because Kennedy busted Undertaker open on Smackdown recently. Kennedy got a blood bath from Undertaker’s magic powers.

Kennedy isn’t worried but MVP (think Deion Sanders) comes up and notices the Vaseline on Kennedy’s forehead. I guess the referee isn’t watching the interview.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy immediately drops to the floor to try to get an early advantage, but Undertaker punches him down as soon as they get back inside. We head back to the floor and Kennedy gets punched over the announcers’ table with Undertaker in total control. We head to the crowd and Undertaker hits a pair of headbutts. Back to ringside and Kennedy gets in his first big move by sending Undertaker into the steps.

Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. This has been almost all Undertaker so far. We head back in and Undertaker busts out a superplex to put Kennedy down. The offense looks good but shouldn’t Undertaker be going for the head? I don’t know if internal bleeding counts but it hasn’t been mentioned in any first blood match I’ve ever seen. Kennedy hits Undertaker low but Undertaker immediately comes back with a kick to the face.

A buckle was taken off somewhere in there by Kennedy but Undertaker sends him into it twice in a row. Kennedy kicks Undertaker low again and Kennedy is bleeding from the mouth. He rolls to the floor before the referee can see it and here’s MVP with a towel to clean up the blood. They start to walk away, but MVP throws Kennedy back in the ring which is payback for Kennedy doing the same thing to MVP on Smackdown.

Undertaker pounds away in the corner but Kennedy drops him face first on the exposed buckle. Kennedy starts pounding away but MVP brings in a chair to hit….someone. It winds up hitting Undertaker and busts him open to give Kennedy the upset win. The fans boo that out of the building because Undertaker is such a legend at this point.

Rating: C. This was a decent brawl but the ending, which was to advance Undertaker/Kane vs. MVP/Kennedy, kind of sucks. The feud just never worked because at the end of the day, it’s two guys who are career midcarders at this point against two former World Champions who can beat up anyone. Kennedy never got to the point where they wanted him to be due to various reasons, but this is the fifth former World Champion he had beaten.

Kennedy beats up Undertaker post match but Undertaker snaps up and pounds him down as well. Undertaker WHACKS him with the chair to get a gasp from the crowd. JBL LOSES IT as Kennedy gets beaten up even more and tombstoned.

Sharmell tells Booker to be excited because tonight is Batista’s last chance.

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

John Cena, Kane, Bobby Lashley, Sabu, Rob Van Dam

Big Show, Test, MVP, Finlay, Umaga

It’s Philadelphia and we’ve got Sabu and RVD on one team so I think you can guess the crowd reactions. Cena is Raw World Champion and Big Show is ECW Champion. Umaga, a Samoan and formerly Jamal of 3 Minute Warning is still undefeated and a monster. Finlay is an Irish brawler.

Naturally Cena is booed out of the building by the hardcore crowd. Cena and Umaga start things off with Cena getting knocked to the floor. Everything breaks down and Umaga gets a monitor to knock out RVD for a DQ. Umaga also destroys the rest of Team Cena because that’s what savages do.

We finally get down to Finlay vs. RVD but it’s quickly off to Test for some bland big man power stuff. Back to Irishman for some stomping and then to really mix things up, MVP comes in and stomps as well. Van Dam is bleeding from the mouth as MVP puts on a chinlock. Rob comes back with a cradle for two and a spin kick to take MVP down. Van Dam kicks all of the heels including a LOUD one to Finlay. Test tries to ram RVD into the post but since he’s big and dumb, Test’s head goes into it instead. Kane chokeslams MVP and the Five Star gets the pin for Rob.

While Van Dam is getting up, Test immediately comes in and kicks his head off to make it 4-3. Test gets sent to the floor and Lashley spears him down, followed by a tornado DDT from Sabu back inside for the pin. Show immediately chokeslams Sabu to make it 3-2 and it’s time for the giants to fight. They both grabs chokeslam grips but here’s Hornswoggle (the Little Bastard at the moment) for a distraction. Finlay clocks Kane with his club so Show can pin Kane after a chokeslam. Starting with MVP’s pin, those five eliminations all came within less than two minutes. I didn’t skip anything in between.

To recap, it’s Show/Finlay vs. Cena/Lashley. Cena comes in to face the monster but is immediately taken down. Off to Finlay for a clothesline and some good old fashioned cheating. Show sends Cena flying off a headbutt and it’s back to the heel corner. After more of a beating, Cena fights them both off and makes the hot tag to Lashley. Powerslam is escaped but a spear puts Finlay down for two.

A double clothesline from Show puts Cena and Lashley down and here’s Hornswoggle again. Cena loads him up in the FU and in the distraction, Lashley spears Finlay down to make it 2-1. Both good guys take their turns on Show including stuff like double DDTs and double suplexes. JR calls Cena cock strong and I don’t want to know what that one means. Lashley breaks up the chokeslam with a spear and the FU gets the final pin.

Rating: D. As I was writing that, it felt like I was just saying what was happening and nothing special was going on. The reason it felt like nothing was going on was because nothing was going on. This match was as paint by numbers as you could ever ask for and that makes for a VERY dull match. Cena hitting the FU on Show is always worth seeing, but this didn’t work at all.

JR says that Lashley is debuting at Survivor Series tonight which is flat out wrong. To be a bit fair though, JR wasn’t on commentary for that match last year.

The Extreme Elimination Chamber is coming.

We recap Booker T vs. Batista. Booker won the King of the Ring and became a king with a bad British accent before winning the title off Rey Mysterio. He kept cheating to beat Batista and tonight is Batista’s last shot at the title unless he wins. Batista never lost the title in the first place and had to drop it due to injury, so tonight is his last chance to regain what he believes is still his.

Before the match, Teddy comes out and says that if Booker gets counted out or DQ’ed, he loses the title.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Booker T

Booker is defending of course. Batista jumps him in the aisle and the referee says you have to get it in the ring. Why? Batista can win the title via DQ so no he doesn’t need to get it in the ring. Also the ruling said Booker loses if he gets counted out. It said nothing about him losing by countout so would a draw give Batista the title? Booker fires off some chops in the corner and is immediately punched in the face for his efforts. A suplex puts Booker down but he escapes an early Batista Bomb attempt.

After Booker gets back in, Batista hits a clothesline for two. This isn’t really working so far. Booker finally comes back with a hot shot to take over before sling shotting Batista’s throat into the bottom rope. Batista comes back with some right hands but Booker pokes him in the eye. We’re about five minutes into this and it’s not clicking at all. Big Dave comes out of nowhere with a side slam for two followed by a Jackhammer.

A Boss Man Slam gets two for Batista and they head to the apron to slug it out. Cole brings up a good question: what happens if there’s a double countout or double DQ? Egads now I’m thinking like Michael Cole. Presumably it would be a draw and Booker keeps the title but it’s not clear. A Sharmell distraction lets Booker take over as JBL goes on a tirade about Teddy Long being racist. Side kick puts Batista down for two. We hit a chinlock to fill in some time which is probably the last thing they should do right now. Batista comes back with some right hands and a belly to belly suplex for two.

Batista cranks things up and knocks Booker to the floor before sending him into the steps. Back in and a top rope shoulder gets two. The spinebuster gets the same but Booker grabs the Bookend for two. Batista comes back with the Batista Bomb but the champ grabs the rope. Sharmell gives Booker the title, Batista takes it from him and clocks Booker with it, new champion. That’s how the show ends: not with a Batista Bomb, but with Batista cheating.

Rating: D-. A horrible match to end a horrible show is always appropriate. Batista getting the title back was probably the right move as he was insanely over and hadn’t been champion since January. This match didn’t work at all though and it was the last time Booker would be near the World Title, which is probably a good thing if he’s as bad as he looked here.

Overall Rating: D-. When the second best match of your show is a group of guys in their late fifties or early sixties beating up male cheerleaders for ten minutes, your show is in trouble. There’s NOTHING worth seeing here at all and this show sucked. The other odd thing here is where the time went.

This show runs about two hours and forty minutes and the longest match (main event) doesn’t break fourteen minutes. There’s no big segment on it either so I have no idea where the time went. Other than the main event nothing is awful but there’s nothing worth watching. Either way, this is an awful show and probably the worst since the 90s.

 

Ratings Comparison

Team Legends vs. Spirit Squad

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B

Redo: D+

Mickie James vs. Lita

Original: B

Redo: D

Team DX vs. Team Rated-RKO

Original: B

Redo: C-

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: C

Team Cena vs. Team Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Batista vs. Booker T

Original: D-

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D-

WHAT WAS I THINKING ON THOSE EARLIER MATCHES???

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/15/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2006-who-thought-batista-vs-booker-was-a-good-idea/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2005
Date: November 27, 2005
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Tazz

This show is all about brand vs. brand, which really isn’t an interesting story because they would interact pretty regularly but of course WWE doesn’t get this. Therefore, the main event is a five on five Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown Survivor Series elimination tag for pure bragging rights. At least they didn’t have a full pay per view about it yet. Let’s get to it.

As you would expect, the opening video is about fighting to survive. The theme is still mostly about Raw vs. Smackdown, which really only matters in WWE’s eyes. Still though, a well built feud for bragging rights is better than building up a match for a lame story so I’ll take what I can get.

Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit

Here’s an idea they blatantly copied from WCW as this is the first match in a best of seven series for the US Title. Booker had been defending and we had a double pin in a match against Benoit, meaning we need to have seven matches instead of one. At least both guys are good. Benoit glares out at Sharmell and goes right at Booker in the corner to start. Feeling out process in the early going as Booker gets in a quick slam for two. Booker gets sent to the floor and it sounds like something falls near the entrance.

As Benoit takes Booker to the mat, Cole unintentionally buries the WCW TV Title (the first series was for a shot) by saying this series is actually important. Either Cole doesn’t know what the original was for or Vince fed him that line and then cackled a bit. Back up and Booker kicks him in the face, followed by an elbow to the same general area for two.

A raised boot in the corner and a side slam breaks it up and we hit an armbar. Yeah after the shots to the head and a slam where Benoit lands on his back, it’s a hold on the arm. Come on Booker you’re smarter than this. Thankfully Booker wakes up and goes to an abdominal stretch instead. Benoit fights out again so Booker knocks his block off with a spinwheel kick. Tazz starts talking about Cole looking mints and having a funny face as a result.

WHAT IS WITH HIM??? Every single show he goes on these insane tangents that make NO sense and barely talks about the match. Why did he keep doing commentary for the better part of ten years? Occasionally he’ll say something insightful (like AVOID THE HOLE in the Buried Alive match in 2003) but most of the time it’s just random babbling. Anyway, there’s a neckbreaker for two from Booker and we hit the chinlock.

Benoit fights up and starts the Germans, only to eat another kick to the face. A quick dragon screw leg whip looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Booker rolls him up for two. More rolling Germans look to set up the Swan Dive but Sharmell offers a distraction, only to have Benoit headbutt Booker down. The Swan Dive misses anyway and Booker grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes (and Sharmell holding them there) to win the first match in the series.

Rating: B+. This is a heck of a match and a really good opener. They’re a case of two people who work really well together and this is what they can do with time. After Booker realized that the armbar was stupid (which it was) and he started cutting Benoit off every time, the match fell into a good story that ended with Sharmell’s interferences playing in to the finish. Really good stuff. Booker would win the series in January.

Eric Bischoff is warming up for his match with Teddy Long. Oh geez it’s this show. Vince comes up to wish him luck and Bischoff brings up Montreal. Bischoff promises to bring him up to date though because the fix is in with Kurt Angle vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Cena pops up and oh geez it’s THIS show. After a quick gay joke from Cena, Vince says “keep it up my nigga” and then does his strut past Booker and Sharmell. If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go sing Real American for no reason in particular.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Trish Stratus

Joey Styles of Raw and Tazz of Smackdown are on commentary as this is interpromotional. Trish is defending after Melina had MNM kidnap her on Raw and demand a title shot. Melina has MNM with her and the ticked off Trish has the recently debuted psycho Mickie James in her corner. Trish attacks to start and sends Melina to the floor for a big dive off the top. I could really get used to this psycho and angry Trish. It’s shall we say, rather attractive in a purely innocent way of course.

The headstand into a headscissors puts Melina down but she forearms Trish in the back to get a breather. Joey talks about Melina being inexperienced on paper, sending Tazz into an actually funny rant about “WHAT PAPER ARE YOU COMMENTATORS ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT???” Melina kicks her square in the face but has to deal with Mickie, leaving MNM to load up a Snapshot on Trish, only to get caught just in time. Instead of that being the logical DQ, it’s just an ejection. So you can come in, pick someone up and throw them down and not get disqualified? Good to know.

Melina puts on a surfboard as the announcers debate which of Trish’s laces are more valuable at the moment. A hair takedown gets two on Melina and we hit the screeching. Tazz: “I’m kind of cool with that.” The Stratusphere (that headstand headscissors out of the corner) sets up a spinebuster of all things for two. After Mickie pulls Trish away from a charge, some kicks to the face set up a top rope bulldog to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it’s amazing how good Trish got in just a few years. She looked like she knew more about what she was doing out there than almost any Diva going today, which is probably why she’s considered the best ever. Melina would get way better when she became a wrestler instead of mainly being a valet. Not a great match but good lord Trish knew how to dress.

Detroit Tiger Dmitri Young is here.

We recap HHH vs. Ric Flair. HHH returned from some time off and turned on Flair, making Ric a face in the process. This led to a great match inside a cage at Taboo Tuesday where Flair turned on the magic one more time and won. You know HHH isn’t letting it end that way though so we’re having a last man standing match.

Ric Flair vs. HHH

Last man standing. HHH jumps him in the aisle before Flair can even get his robe off. They get inside with Flair in big trouble, made even worse by HHH grabbing a chair. Flair comes back with a kendo stick, which really looks weird in his hands. They brawl to the hockey boards with HHH taking over again and bringing it back to ringside. Flair is up at seven after a backdrop on the floor and an elbow to the back makes Flair swear a lot.

Ric’s strikes have little effect (WAY too early for that) and they head outside again. You can tell they have a long time to go here and I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Flair goes into the post so HHH pulls out a toolbox and picks a screwdriver to bust Ric open BAD. If it wasn’t opened up enough, Ric makes sure to blade (on camera by mistake) to make it even worse.

Back in and we get more screwdriving (I would have pictured Flair being a big fan of screwdrivers), followed by two knee drops that clearly miss by a good eight inches each. I know they almost never hit but get it together production guys. They go back outside to load up the announcers’ table but first of all HHH grabs a spinebuster on the floor. HHH yells a bunch of trash on the mic so Flair grabs him by the crotch.

That’s not cool with HHH because Stephanie is the ball ripper in this company so it’s a Pedigree through the announcers’ table, only to have Flair backdrop HHH through the other table. It’s only good for nine though because HHH isn’t losing to a backdrop, even if it’s from Flair. A bunch of chops get a six for Flair but HHH can’t bring himself to use a chair. Instead HHH pounds on him even more, only to take a low blow. A chair off the head drops HHH for eight more so Flair bites the forehead.

HHH gets crotched against the post FOUR TIMES IN A ROW before Flair bites him on the back of the leg. There’s a Garvin Stomp of all things followed by a chop block but the Figure Four is broken up. Well, says, Flair, if that doesn’t work, why not a chair to crush the leg against the post? Now the Figure Four goes on and he can grab the ropes all he pleases.

HHH taps for no meaning so Flair lets go, only to have HHH beat the count at nine. He’s still able to drop Flair with a clothesline and bring in some steps. As so many people have done, HHH makes the mistake of holding them over his head, allowing Flair to score with a drop toehold to send HHH face first into the steps. HHH is up again and two Pedigrees get eight each so HHH gives him a third. Flair is STILL getting up so it’s a sledgehammer to the general area a few inches above Flair’s back to give HHH the win.

Rating: B. Long but good here with a ridiculous amount of blood to really make this feel like an old school brawl. HHH was always good at being especially evil and look how evil he was here as he beat up a guy in his late 50s. I’m not sure how bright it was to give Flair this kind of a rub when you could build up someone new, but you know HHH wasn’t going to sell like this for anyone but Flair or Shawn. Still though, good, violent brawl.

Flair goes out on a stretcher.

Trish and Mickie are online.

Orton is giving Team Smackdown a pep talk about why he should be the leader since Batista is injured. Cue Batista who thinks he’s in charge. JBL disagrees and gets stared down in a funny bit.

Here are Edge and Lita (good lord) with something to say. Edge has an announcement to make…..and it’s not him cashing in his Money in the Bank contract. No actually he and Lita are going to have their own talk show soon, called the Cutting Edge. That’s enough of that now though so let’s go annoy Dmitri Young. Edge goes with the basic jabs at the Tigers and Young looks stunned that a heel would insult him.

After some steroids jokes, Edge runs down the Detroit sports teams (ignoring the LET’S GO REDWINGS chants). Young lists off the sports championships Detroit has won but can’t see one on Edge (who would wind up with as many World Championships as the Redwings as of 2015).

We recap the Raw World Title match which is built around trying to make Cena vs. Bischoff into Austin vs. McMahon again. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena as champion so he’s gotten Kurt Angle: Wrestling Machine to take the title. Angle has beaten him before but Kurt now has his own personal referee in Daivari to really stack the deck.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena is defending, Daivari is referee and Angle’s YOU SUCKS are censored due to Bischoff thinking it’s unfair. Kurt takes him down by the leg to start and drops elbows on the knee, followed by an early leg crank. Back up and the threat of a right hand sends Angle to the floor but Daivari keeps Cena in the ring. So much like Bill Alfonso in ECW, Daivari is a heel for doing his job.

The fans are red hot for this one as Lawler talks about all the countries watching this show live. Apparently Coach thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar. The release fisherman’s suplex drops Angle for no count. That earns Cena the ankle lock for way longer than anyone should be able to survive the hold. Cena gets the rope but Daivari kicks his hand away. The hold is reversed and Cena’s ankle is FINE, allowing him to slam Angle and slap Daivari. Kurt makes sure Daivari doesn’t call for the DQ so Cena rams them together to get a breather.

Cena gets sent into the steps and a second referee comes in to count two. Well you knew there was going to be a way around Daivari. Kurt grabs a waistlock before throwing Cena hard into the corner to keep him in trouble. The fans are ALL OVER Cena and another suplex gives Kurt two. Off to something like an STF on Cena but Kurt goes to a regular chinlock instead. Cena fights up and grab a DDT without selling the ankle injury one bit. The champ wins a slugout and initiates his finishing sequence, including pumping up the shoes.

Kurt clotheslines the referee down and there’s a low blow for Cena. Here’s a third referee as you would think Daivari would have risen from the dead by now. The Angle Slam gets two, followed by a superplex for the same. The moonsault misses because of course it does so Kurt uppercuts the third referee. Daivari is finally up so Cena DDTs him back down, only to have a Smackdown referee come out to take over. He’s got a quick night though as Cena hits the FU to retain.

Rating: B-. WAY too overbooked here but they had to protect Cena here, even if he wouldn’t sell being in the ankle lock for thirty seconds. You could see Cena’s inexperience in matches at this level coming through, which is so bizarre when you know what he would become. Angle was so hot at this point that they had to do something with him but what can you do when you don’t want to give him the Raw World Title? Well in this case you wait for Batista to get hurt and give him the Smackdown World Title until he leaves for TNA in less than a year.

Eric Bischoff vs. Teddy Long

Let’s get this over with because neither is a wrestler and this is happening because EVERYONE LOVES BRAND WARFARE! Teddy has network adviser Palmer Cannon in his corner and we have two referees to make sure this is fair. Eric throws some kicks and Teddy does his bouncy dancing. Bischoff finally chokes him down as we’re waiting on a match to break out.

The fans think this is boring and that’s being too kind. A sleeper takes Teddy down but a shoe to the head breaks it up. Bischoff’s karate shot to the throat….and here’s the Boogeyman. Eric looks to the entrance but Boogeyman is behind him with a choke and a pumphandle powerslam. Teddy wins and it’s time for more dancing.

Rating: I. I’ve had infections that were more pleasant than this. Moving on.

The Raw and Smackdown teams are cheered on by their respective rosters.

We recap the main event. Back in October at Raw Homecoming, Bischoff turned the lights out on a Smackdown six man tag. This triggered a war between the shows as they kept invading each other to try one more time to get this brand warfare thing to matter, even though no one outside of WWE cared. You over there. You say you cared? Stop lying, because you know you didn’t. Why? Because no one cared.

Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown

Raw: Big Show, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters

Smackdown: Rey Mysterio, Bobby Lashley, Batista, Randy Orton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Batista is Smackdown World Champion but has a bad upper body due to an attack by Kane and Big Show. JBL has his publicist Jillian Hall, who still has a mole on her face. Lashley is still pretty new here but considered a can’t miss prospect. Orton (with his dad) is replacing Eddie Guerrero who passed away just a few weeks before this show. Kane and Big Show are Raw Tag Team Champions. The announcers bicker throughout the nearly ten minutes of entrances which makes me think we’re in for a long match. This really is one sided on paper.

Shawn and Orton get things going after Batista wasn’t allowed to start due to his injuries. Randy backs him into the corner and slaps the taste out of Shawn’s mouth, only to have Shawn slap him down to one knee. Three times in a row Shawn headlocks him to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors. With that not working, Shawn slaps him even harder but Orton grabs a slam.

The announcers talk even more than they do now with Tazz being a jerk. Like, moreso than usual. Masters comes in but takes a dropkick from Orton. It’s off to Lashley for the big power showdown. Lashley tells him to try his luck and Masters charges into a powerslam for two. A cheap shot from the apron lets Masters try the Masterlock but you know that’s not working. Lashley sends him flying with a belly to belly and it’s off to Carlito who has to be dragged in.

Some clotheslines set up a running powerslam for two (on Carlito in case you’re a bit slow today) and it’s off to Michaels. That’s fine with Lashley who slams him off the top, followed by an overhead belly to belly. I told you Lashley was a can’t miss prospect. I wonder how he wound up missing so badly in WWE. The Dominator plants Carlito but Kane chokeslams Lashley from the apron to give Shawn the pin for the first advantage.

Mysterio comes in for some kicks to Shawn’s legs but Kane interferes again with a knee to the back. It’s back to Masters who might be able to do something with Rey this banged up. A gorilla press drop sets up the tag to Kane (Tazz: “This isn’t good.”) who is quickly chopped down by some kicks to the head and a standing moonsault for two.

Rey charges right into a boot to the face though as the announcers are now talking about qualifying matches and Coach not being funny. A bearhug puts Rey in trouble as the argument turns to ratings. Tazz: “Joey I beg of you shut up.” Mysterio finally escapes and it’s off to Batista to really get Smackdown going. Kane gets in a shot to the bad ribs but Batista spears him down with ease. The rest of the Raw guys are dispatched and it’s a 619 to Kane, followed by a spinebuster for the elimination.

Batista walks into a Big Show chokeslam for two, followed by a double chokeslam from Kane and Show behind the two referees’ back. They didn’t notice that three of the nine people still at ringside weren’t around? We settle down to JBL vs. Big Show but the giant throws Rey around a bit first. Orton snaps Show’s throat across the top and the Clothesline From JBL, the 619, the RKO, another Clothesline From JBL and a springboard seated senton from Rey finally ties it up.

We’re down to Mysterio/JBL/Orton vs. Shawn/Carlito/Masters, which again is pretty one sided. Everything breaks down again and JBL throws Shawn on the floor with a fall away slam. Masters plants Rey down and it’s off to Carlito for a chinlock as Shawn is still down. Rey fights up and JBL gets in a blind tag, setting up another Clothesline From JBL to get rid of Carlito, who has to be helped from the ring. Masters suplexes JBL for two as Shawn STILL hasn’t moved.

Back to Mysterio who avoids a charge in the corner and hits the 619, followed by Dropping the Dime (Springboard legdrop. Tazz: “HE DROPPED THE WHOLE DOLLAR ON HIM!”) to make it 3-1. JBL throws Shawn back inside and it’s off to Rey for another 619. As Joey Styles points out that Smackdown could have won on a countout, Shawn superkicks Rey and JBL for back to back pins in 15 seconds to get it down to Orton vs. Michaels.

Orton is quickly sent to the floor for a big dive as things speed up. Back in and some clotheslines set up the top rope elbow as the fans want Undertaker (who was advertised for the show). JBL tries to come in with a chair but eats a superkick, setting up the RKO to give Smackdown the pin.

Rating: B+. That’s how you do an elimination tag. This was great stuff (save for the commentary, though it was actually entertaining at times) with the eliminations coming fast enough that they didn’t get ridiculous and Shawn doing his best to make you believe he was dead before his comeback. They kept people looking strong too and the whole thing worked well. Good match and a really good main event to make the Survivor Series match feel important again.

The Smackdown roster hits the ring and here’s Undertaker. Well scratch that as first we have the druids bringing a casket. After a lot of chanting, the casket lights on fire (as Orton had done to Undertaker about a month and a half back) and Undertaker walks out. Undertaker stalks to the ring to clean house and a throat slit has Orton terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. For a show that almost no one remembers, this is a heck of a good card. The main event is good, there’s a lot of other solid stuff around, Trish looks about as good as she ever has……..and dang it Teddy Long’s dancing makes me smile. I don’t think I can call this a classic but there’s a lot of really good stuff on it to carry it a lot higher than I thought it was going to be. They’re in a transitional period here but this was a great show.

Ratings Comparison

Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B+

Trish Stratus vs. Melina

Original: B

2012 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

HHH vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

2012 Redo: B+

2015 Redo: B

John Cena vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B+

2012 Redo: C

2015 Redo: B-

Theodore Long vs. Eric Bischoff

Original: O (For Oh I can’t think about this anymore)

2012 Redo: S (For Six Minutes)

2015 Redo: I (For Infections I’ve had that were more entertaining)

Team Smackdown vs. Team Raw

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: B

2012 Redo: B

2015 Redo: A-

I’m surprised by how much more I liked the girls and Cena vs. Angle. They’re good but they’re not that good. Still a solid show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/14/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2005-a-forgotten-almost-classic/

And the redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/11/survivor-series-count-up-2012-edition-2005-raw-vs-smackdown/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Survivor Series 2004
Date: November 14, 2004
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 7,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

Aside from the matches mentioned already, there are two other major matches. First up we have Team Kurt Angle vs. Team Eddie Guerrero to continue their rivalry which started back at Wrestlemania XX. Angle couldn’t take the title from Eddie but became GM of Smackdown, vowing to make Eddie’s life miserable. On top of that we have Undertaker (once again the Dead Man) facing off with Heidenreich, Paul Heyman’s latest monster. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about the seventeen years this show has run already.

The set looks cool here as it’s made of six screens which I guess will act as the Titantron tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Spike Dudley vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman

Spike is defending and is a heel here. This is one fall to a finish. Kidman hurt Chavo on a Shooting Star Press and seemed to be proud of it, which resulted in a heel turn for him. The other good thing here is that they don’t have to tag. As usual, this doesn’t last long before things break down. Kidman and Spike form a quick alliance, only to have Kidman dropkick the champ out to the floor.

Rey sends Kidman to the floor and it’s off to Rey vs. Chavo, who are still friends at this point. Rey spins Chavo around with a headscissors before Spike sends Rey into the corner and stomps away with some screaming thrown in. Chavo comes back in and a double clothesline puts he and Spike down. With Kidman on the apron, Rey hits a hurricanrana to send him out to the floor in a cool looking spot.

Back in and Rey tries the sitout bulldog on Chavo but Guerrero throws him onto Kidman in a seated senton. Chavo dives on both of them, leaving Spike standing ta….short actually. Anyway the champ dives on all of them but they step aside to let him crash. Chavo finally gets his hands on Billy back in the ring but Spike comes back in to break up a pinfall attempt.

Rey misses a moonsault over Spike’s head and gets thrown to the floor as a result. We get a Tower of Doom with everyone minus Rey involved, so Rey comes in and tries to steal a pin. Rey charges at Kidman but gets caught in a BK Bomb (Sky High) for two but Chavo breaks up the Shooting Star. Spike hits a running headbutt to Rey’s ribs but the Dudley Dog is broken up. The 619 hits Spike but Billy breaks up the West Coast Pop. Chavo hits the Gory Bomb on Spike but Kidman hits a slingshot legdrop on Chavo. Rey takes out Kidman and Spike steals the pin on Chavo to retain.

Rating: B-. Not a great match or anything here but it was fine for an opener. Rey was insanely popular still but Spike keeping the title was a great way to tick off the fans. There’s nothing wrong with a heel winning, as long as the opener fires up the crowd, which this did. Good choice.

Heidenreich is getting fired up by Heyman when Paul goes to get his jacket. Snitsky, another creepy heel of the day, comes in. He says he likes Heidenreich’s poetry and Heidenreich likes what Snitsky does to babies (as in punting them into the crowd). There’s WAY too much deep breathing here. This was almost who Undertaker and Kane fought at Wrestlemania before the company woke up and stuck Orton against Undertaker instead.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Shelton, a young, very athletic guy who used to be in a tag team, is defending but the Waterproof Blonde version of Christian’s theme makes him far more awesome. Shelton is at the point in his career when he’s about to get on one of the biggest rolls in years but it never went anywhere past the Intercontinental Title. The champ cranks on the arm to start before they head to the mat. Keeping in mind that Shelton was a legit All-American wrestler, he’s just fine being on the mat with Christian.

Christian cranks on the arm but Shelton drops to the mat and immediately nips up which looked great. It didn’t do anything but it looked great. Christian talks trash and gets punched in the face for his efforts. Shelton skins the cat before hitting a great looking springboard clothesline for two. A HARD chop slows Benjamin down and Christian talks some more trash. Shelton counters a monkey flip by casually landing on his feet and grabs an Oklahoma Roll for two.

We head to the floor for a quick distraction by Tomko (Christian’s bodyguard) but Christian gets punched in the face instead. Tomko tries to cheat again and this time the distraction is enough to let Christian get in a shot. Why that creepy little bas…..never mind. A cross body gets two for Shelton but Christian immediately puts him back down with a neckbreaker. Off to a chinlock (Tomko: “BREAK HIS NECK!”) by Christian and he launches Benjamin to the floor as he tries to break the hold.

Shelton comes back with a hard whip into the corner to put Christian down. A Russian legsweep gets two for the champ as does a slingshot reverse suplex (called a reverse fisherman’s suplex by JR). Benjamin misses a Stinger Splash and gets caught in a reverse DDT for two. Tomko slides the belt in (hitting the referee in the foot in the process) but Shelton kicks Christian in the face.

The referee sees Christian holding the belt, which lets Benjamin hit a top rope clothesline for two. As the belt is being put out, Tomko kicks Benjamin in the face for two. The Exploder Suplex (Benjamin’s finisher, a snap floatover T-Bone suplex) is countered but Benjamin kicks Tomko down. The Unprettier is countered into the Exploder for the pin to keep the title on Benjamin.

Rating: B. I really got into this match at the end even though Christian didn’t have much of a chance at winning. The Tomko and belt stuff didn’t help anything but they had to try to slow Shelton down a bit. Benjamin was in the beginning of a very long run with the belt that would last until June, which was the longest reign in about six years.

Really good match here as Christian put Shelton over strong. There’s a reason this guy basically had the world title waiting for him on a plate whenever he stepped up enough to take it, but that never happened for various reasons. Namely he just stopped trying and coasted on his reputation, but that’s another story.

Angle complains to Edge about something Edge wrote in his book about him. Kurt makes fun of Edge for never winning the World Title. They trade some insults before Kurt leaves and runs into Eugene, Eric Bischoff’s mentally slow nephew who just happened to be a talented wrestler. Eugene lists off (slowly) some of Angle’s accomplishments before singing the You Suck version of his theme song.

Team Angle vs. Team Guerrero

Kurt Angle, Carlito Caribbean Cool, Luther Reigns, Mark Jindrak

Eddie Guerrero, John Cena, Rob Van Dam, Big Show

Eddie and Angle have been feuding since Wrestlemania. Carlito, the son of a Puerto Rican legend, debuted and beat Cena for the US Title before injuring Cena in a nightclub (or having someone do it. The attacker was never revealed but it might have been Carlito’s buddy Jesus). Big Show is feuding with Reigns (an enforcer type character) and Jindrak (a very athletic guy who didn’t do much in America) and Angle for shaving his head, and Van Dam is there as a warm body. Got all that?

Before the bell, Cena chases Carlito and Jesus to the back and gets in a brawl with them. Carlito and Jesus steal a car and speed away, which counts as an elimination. Back at ringside there’s a big brawl until Show (on a bad ankle) pulls Jindrak into the ring. Here’s Cena back to the ring to make it 4-3. Off to Van Dam who hits a spin kick before it’s off to Eddie for the slingshot hilo, followed by Rolling Thunder from Van Dam.

Eddie suplexes Jindrak down and armdrags Reigns as he headscissors Jindrak in a cool move. Angle comes in to stop his team’s bleeding but it’s quickly back to Reigns for a bunch of backbreakers for two. Off to Jindrak for a full nelson but Eddie sends him into the buckle. Eddie dives for the corner but Angle literally tackles Guerrero to break it up. Kurt hits a belly to belly before bringing in Reigns for more stomping.

Off to a chinlock from Jindrak but Eddie eventually grabs a jawbreaker to escape. Angle again blocks the tag and puts on a front facelock. One thing to note here: the entire time the hold is on, Cena is reaching out for a tag and encouraging Eddie. It doesn’t mean much, but it helps things from getting really boring. Little things like that can make a big difference. Watch guys like Rock and Hogan when they’re on the apron in tag matches. They’re ALWAYS doing something, even if it’s minor like clapping. It can make a difference.

Jindrak comes in but Eddie knocks him away and it’s off to Van Dam. Rob goes off (Cole: “He’s supple!”) and hits an enziguri on Angle to set up the Five Star but Jindrak pulls him away. The Splash hits Jindrak, allowing Angle to roll up Rob (using the ropes) for the pin. Angle heads to the floor so Eddie rolls up the illegal Jindrak, using the ropes as well, for an elimination to make it 3-2 (Eddie/Show/Cena vs. Reigns/Angle).

Eddie tells Angle to bring it on and there go the straps. Eddie tags in Show, making Angle tag in Reigns. Reigns gets in one or two shots but a chokeslam beats him quickly. Kurt rolls through a chokeslam into the ankle lock but Show sends him through the ropes to escape. Angle starts to walk up the aisle but Van Dam is waiting on him. Kurt backs up while still looking at RVD, and backs into Show. He reaches up to see how tall what he backed into is and shakes his head. Show throws Kurt back in to face Cena (in for the first time legally) and it’s an FU and Frog Splash for the final elimination.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t a good match but it was entertaining, which is more than you got from almost all of last year’s show. I’m guessing Cena and Carlito were injured as they didn’t do anything for the most part. Angle was great here and the look on his face when he backed into Big Show always makes me chuckle. Fun match here, which is all you need sometimes.

Maven (the first Tough Enough winner and on Team Orton tonight in the biggest match of his career) offers to demonstrate his skills to Coach but Snitsky jumps Maven and busts him open. This would be how they would keep Maven out of a PPV main event for most of the match when they realized that he was in WAY over his head.

Video on Heidenreich vs. Undertaker, where Heidenreich is the latest guy to try to kill Undertaker at Paul Heyman’s direction. This was one of those matches where they were trying to make it seem like Undertaker was in trouble but Heidenreich comes off like the villain in the fifth direct to video sequel in a horror series that has overstayed its welcome by two movies.

Heidenreich vs. Undertaker

Heidenreich comes out in a straightjacket because he might attack more plants, as had been his custom in recent weeks. Undertaker does the big long entrance to get the crowd back into things. He stares at Heidenreich for a few moments before the beating begins. A charge in the corner runs into a Heidenreich elbow but the Dead Man will have none of this being on defense stuff. Undertaker works on the arm but a Heyman distraction lets Heidenreich crotch Undertaker to break up Old School. He crotches Undertaker against the post again and we head to the floor.

Heidenreich pounds away on Undertaker against the barricade while shouting that he can beat him. Undertaker shrugs that off again and hits the legdrop on the apron for two. Old School hits the second time followed by a modified Downward Spiral for two. A big boot misses Heidenreich in the corner and it’s time for more punching on the floor. This isn’t one of those matches where the fans are worried about Undertaker as I don’t think anyone bought Heidenreich as a real threat.

A kick to Undertaker’s face sets up a chinlock and a clothesline for two. Another clothesline stops Undertaker’s comeback but a suplex stops the stopping of the comeback. Heidenreich sends him to the apron but Undertaker stuns him on the top rope. Undertaker channels his inner Kane (he had the name first) and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back in and Snake Eyes/the big boot takes Heidenreich down again.

The chokeslam is broken up and Heidenreich gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Then like an idiot, Heidenreich punches away in the corner while Undertaker arms are down. The obvious Last Ride only gets two though as Heidenreich grabs the rope. Heidenreich tries a sleeper but Undertaker is like boy please and suplexes out of it almost immediately. The chokeslam and Tombstone finish this quick.

Rating: D. Like I said at the end of the day, did ANYONE buy Heidenreich as a real threat to Undertaker? The guy just wasn’t that good and he came off as more silly than a serious threat. Not much to see here and Heidenreich never got higher than he did in this match. Undertaker would move on to a much better feud with Orton soon enough to try and make people forget about this mess.

Bischoff says Maven is out of the main event and if he allows Orton to add a replacement, HHH will complain and Eric will lose his vacation, which is the point of the main event.

We recap Trish vs. Lita, which is happening because….well who else are they going to fight? Lita got pregnant with Kane’s baby but lost it because of Snitsky. Trish made fun of Lita for being a sl**, having a dead baby, and of course for being fat.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish is defending. Lita is all ticked off and punches Trish, who is coming in with a broken nose, as soon as she gets in. Trish gets pounded even more and they head to the floor where Trish goes into a table and gets cracked with a chair 80 seconds into the match for the DQ. This wasn’t much, but these two would main event Raw in a few weeks. I don’t mean a match that went on last and then they had the promo that closed the show. I mean they spent the whole show hyping up Trish Stratus vs. Lita as the main event and Lita won the title and celebrated to end the show. It was quite the moment and a big deal.

Teddy comes in to congratulate Team Guerrero while Show is in a towel. Show hands the towel to Teddy and walks off. Cena: “THAT’S DISGUSTING!” Teddy makes Cena vs. Carlito for the title on Thursday. Why is Cena in his underwear?

We recap Booker T vs. JBL. Booker pinned JBL in a tag match but JBL says Booker isn’t in his league. Booker beat up Orlando Jordan (JBL’s lackey) and pinned him to earn the title shot. There really isn’t much to this one.

Smackdown World Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

JBL is defending and Booker’s big yellow gloves don’t really do him any favors. Feeling out process to start as they trade really basic stuff for the first minute and a half. Booker knocks him to the floor and JBL gets the advantage coming back in. Back to the floor and Booker gets sent over the announce table. As they head back in, Jordan gets in a cheap shot to give JBL two. Still in first gear at best.

JBL hooks in a cobra clutch followed by an elbow drop and a chinlock. After that VICIOUS offense, Booker easily fights back and hits a superplex to put both guys down. Orlando gets in some more cheap shots on the floor but JBL walks into a Book End out there to give Booker his first real advantage. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Booker. They’re into second gear now but it’s just not an interesting match.

Booker goes up but another Jordan distraction lets JBL avoid a Houston Hangover (flip legdrop). Another sleeper by JBL is escaped but Jordan breaks up the ax kick. JBL hits a quick DDT for two and there goes the referee. Jordan comes in and pounds on Booker but Josh Matthews comes out to help Booker for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. JBL destroys Josh but there’s the side kick to JBL. The ax kick takes him down as well but Jordan takes out the referee. Booker hits the Book End on Jordan but JBL clocks Booker with the belt to retain.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. Basically they were redoing the HHH/Flair run from 2003 with Jordan interfering every ten seconds and the matches sucking and the crowd groaning when JBL retains the title. JBL is a hilarious commentator and a solid main event jobber, but the guy was painfully boring as champion.

Batista and HHH are ready for the main event.

We recap the main event which is Team HHH vs. Team Orton. Team Orton has united to oppose HHH’s tyranny and the winning team gets to run Raw for a week each. Snitsky has said that when Team HHH wins, he’s coming for HHH’s World Title, and Edge has said the same. Batista has been looking at the title too so HHH is rather nervous. This gets the music video treatment for the night. Maven and Snitsky stick out like two shattered thumbs in this whole thing.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

HHH is World Champion and Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.

Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the World Title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. What a great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? It doesn’t matter how awesome he is because he’s not getting a shot at anything.

Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match. It couldn’t be because Orton is a lame duck and everyone knows it of course. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a swan dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and swan dives both of them for two.

Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets caught in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.

Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.

It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.

Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge now. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 (HHH/Edge vs. Orton) with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.

Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the champ hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so I dug this at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked its legs off.

Overall Rating: B-. There’s some dull stuff here, but the good stuff really is solid as you can see the new generation ready to burst through. The main event was entertaining stuff and the fans did react to Orton pinning HHH clean. The Smackdown side of things was pretty lame but other than that, this was a solid show and I was digging it at the end. Good show.

Ratings Comparison

Spike Dudley vs. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Shelton Benjamin vs. Christian

Original: B

Redo: B

Team Guerrero vs. Team Angle

Original: D

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D

Redo: D

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Booker T

Original: F

Redo: D

Team Orton vs. Team HHH

Original: B-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: B-

In a rare instance, I liked this a lot better the second time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/13/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2004-eyebrows-huffman-main-events/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Survivor Series 2003
Date: November 16, 2003
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 13,487
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is another big one and it’s also a one sided show. The Smackdown offerings are about as uninteresting as they could be while the Raw side looks at at least marginally better. This isn’t a great show on paper and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to be even worse as it actually takes place. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home episode of Smackdown if you need a recap.

The opening video talks about surviving things such as the game, evolution, and the battles in between. That’s all this needed to be, especially with Austin vs. Bischoff being the real main event.

Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar

Kurt Angle, Hardcore Holly, Chris Benoit, John Cena, Bradshaw

Brock Lesnar, Big Show, A-Train, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan

Cena is out first and raps about burying everyone, meaning Lesnar and Show need a bigger graves. He’s still new at this team thing because he wonders if he can trade his partners in for a one night stand with Sable. Holly wastes no time and attacks Lesnar before the bell, sending him into the steps and trying a full nelson to break his neck. He also shoves a referee, and gets disqualified before the match even starts.

The bell rings and a Clothesline from Bradshaw ends A-Train in less than thirty seconds to tie it up. The chokeslam gets rid of Bradshaw as we’re not even a minute in yet. Good idea actually, as it’s not like Bradshaw and Holly were anything more than warm bodies anyway. Cena comes in but can’t FU Big Show and gets thrown into the corner as the four remaining members start working him over. A Throwback to Lesnar gets two but more importantly it allows the hot tag off to Benoit.

The chokeslam is countered into a Crossface (always looks cool) with Lesnar making a save. It’s off to an abdominal stretch as things slow down again. The standing legdrop gets two on Benoit and it’s time for some double teaming on the floor. Angle and Cena have finally had enough and go over to make a save but Benoit is beaten down even more. Morgan comes in for some lumbering offense but a suplex allows the hot tag to Angle. That means a series of suplexes as everything breaks down. The Angle Slam eliminates Morgan to tie us up at three.

Show clotheslines Jones by mistake though and an ankle lock gets rid of Nathan less than thirty seconds later. An F5 gets rid of Angle with the first count coming as Jones’ elimination is still being announced. We’re down to Benoit/Cena vs. Lesnar/Show and Brock goes shoulder first into the post.

A Crossface has Lesnar in trouble but he reverses into a cradle for two. Benoit won’t be denied though and slaps it on again, this time with Lesnar’s feet reaching the ropes. The third attempt makes Lesnar tap and we’re down to two on one. Benoit drops Show with a top rope shoulder for two so Cena adds a chain shot and the FU for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was too fast for the most part but the real problem comes from the fact that so many people were involved in the first place. This really could have been a six man elimination tag (A-Train as the third villain) and it would have been better, but that’s not how these things traditionally work. Cena and Benoit winning in the end is the right way to go as Cena’s rocket push is being assembled, but at the same time there’s a lot of work left to do. Benoit vs. Cena, which could still happen, would be a benefit for both guys and that’s a good sign for the future. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best present, but at least it wasn’t long.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shane and talks about how tonight, father and son are facing two brothers. He thinks it’s almost spiritual and asks Shane how he feels about that. Shane only feels sorry for Vince. The boss leaves and runs into Austin, who starts laughing. Then he stops and gets serious before walking away. These two have great chemistry even if it doesn’t make the most sense.

JR explains the exchange.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Molly Holly

Lita is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match a few weeks back. Feeling out process to start as JR explains that these two have some contrasting styles. Lita gets knocked to the floor so Molly starts in on the back with some ax handles. We hit a dragon sleeper with Jerry liking her intensity. The handspring elbow in the corner keeps Lita in trouble and Molly stomps away.

A running corner clothesline rocks Molly and Lita rains down some right hands for her first real offense. Molly cuts her off with a side slam but Lawler would rather talk about Lita’s thong. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Lita a breather but the moonsault misses. The Molly Go Round gets two so Molly rips off a turnbuckle pad and sends Lita face first to retain.

Rating: D+. This was mainly Molly doing everything while Lita did a thing or two here and there. That’s not the most thrilling style in the world but Molly can be made into a good champion for a big name to take the title from later. Let her be built up for awhile instead of giving Lita the title immediately. It’s ok to wait now and then.

We recap Kane vs. Shane McMahon. Kane went nuts after losing his mask and after struggling to defeat Rob Van Dam, started tormenting Linda McMahon. Shane became the big star out of this because of course he did, including beating himself in a Last Man Standing match. Various attempted murders later set up this ambulance match, which is possibly the second most pushed match on the show.

Shane McMahon vs. Kane

Ambulance match with Shane charging straight at him for a crossbody to the floor. Shane knocks him onto the announcers’ table and hits him in the head with a monitor, setting up the big elbow to drive Kane through. That’s enough at ringside though so they head to the back, including the camera cutting out. That means we hit the pretape and come back with Shane pounding him down with a kendo stick.

Shane puts him in a security shack and jumps into an SUV to run Kane over again. Finding a well placed walkie-talkie, Shane tells someone to SEND IT, which means it’s time for an ambulance backstage. But is that the designated ambulance? That makes a difference you know. Instead of backing the ambulance up to the shack where Kane is down, Shane grabs a stretcher and wheels it twenty feet over, allowing Kane to grab him by the throat and slam Shane into a wall.

The camera goes out again and we pick it up with Kane knocking him back into the arena. Shane gets knocked into the front of the ambulance but manages to hit Kane in the face with the back door. What a sick sounding thud too. Kane is back up and sends Shane into the ambulance but another ram with the door gets Shane out of trouble. A tornado DDT on the floor plants Kane as they’re now near the grave for the Buried Alive match.

Shane puts a trashcan (good thing one was nearby) and a crashpad (same as before) and hits the Coast to Coast off the top of the ambulance to smash Kane’s face. That’s still not enough to wrap things up as Kane pulls Shane into the ambulance with him for more brawling. It’s Kane throwing Shane out though and then ramming him back first into the side. He javelins Shane’s head into the other side (you have to match you see) and a Tombstone on the floor is enough for the win.

Rating: D. This wasn’t as long as I was expecting but again, this doesn’t really do what they were likely shooting for with Kane. It makes two straight matches where Kane has had trouble beating up Shane McMahon. He can destroy Rob Van Dam but Shane gives him trouble? It didn’t work last time and it doesn’t work here. Now that he’s lost all of his heat though, you can pencil him in for a World Title match.

Brock Lesnar says he didn’t lose that match because his team lost it instead. Goldberg comes in for a staredown but Lesnar won’t wish him luck tonight. And so it begins.

Here’s the Coach, in a neck brace, for a chat. He assures his fans that he’s fine after the 3D from the Dudleys on Monday and he’ll be good to go soon. That seems to be it but hang on a second as Coach sees Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban in the front row. Cuban is ready to see Austin’s team win and insults referees of all kinds (he’s known for heavy criticisms of NBA referees). This brings out Eric Bischoff to invite Cuban into the ring, where a fight breaks out. Bischoff gets shoved down but here’s Randy Orton for an RKO to complete this waste of time.

Evolution is having a party with HHH in the middle of a good looking bunch of women. Ric Flair comes in to say they can have the champ later, which annoys HHH. Orton comes in, hits on the women, and brags about what he just did. Uh, congratulations?

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Basham Brothers

The Brothers are defending after Eddie won a handicap match to earn the shot. Eddie and Chavo waste no time in slugging away until Shaniqua offers a distraction to slow things down. That doesn’t seem to matter much to the cousins as Eddie works over Danny to start things off. A dropkick gives Chavo two and there’s a headscissors/armdrag combination from Eddie to put both champs down.

Some double teaming (described by Cole as “classic Bashams”) takes over though and Shaniqua gets in a slam on Eddie for good measure. Back in and Eddie gets stomped in the corner, followed by a double vertical suplex for two. Eddie gets free with a headscissors and hands it back to Chavo, who is double flapjacked in short order. Chavo fights up but Twin Magic takes him down again. Everything breaks down and Chavo slams Shaniqua, followed by a quick spanking. That’s NOT cool with the champs so Doug grabs a rollup with Chavo’s tights to retain.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here with Los Guerreros coming up short again as we get closer to their inevitable split. The Bashams aren’t a great team (though they have apparently have a classic period) but they’re serviceable for something like this. Get rid of the dominatrix stuff though as it’s not working, isn’t funny and makes Shaniqua look like the important part of the team, which misses the point entirely.

Replays show Chavo kicking Eddie down by mistake, meaning this is far from over.

JR doesn’t think Austin can handle this trusting people stuff and has never seen Austin this angry.

We recap Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff. They’re running the show together but Austin isn’t allowed to attack people at will anymore. On top of that, a lot of people are accusing him of ruining the show through his various antics. That doesn’t sit well with Austin, so it’s time for a winner take all match with the winner getting to run Raw on their own. The idea is Austin has to trust people, which goes against everything he believes in.

Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff

Austin: Shawn Michaels, Dudley Boyz, Booker T., Rob Van Dam

Bischoff: Scott Steiner, Mark Henry, Christian, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton

Coach, Stacy Keibler and the two team captains are at ringside. The fans want tables to start but have to settle with D-Von and Christian instead. D-Von shoulders him down to start but gets slapped in the face, triggering a bunch of right hands to the head. That’s not a nice response. Van Dam comes in for some forearms to the face and a kick to the jaw gets the same. It’s off to Jericho for some more luck, followed by Steiner whipping Van Dam hard into the corner to set up some posing.

Van Dam’s comeback is cut off by a belly to belly superplex but he’s able to get over to Booker for the hot tag. Things speed way up in a hurry and the scissors kick into the Spinarooni makes Bischoff face palm. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Steiner hits Booker low. The Recliner goes on but Stacy offers a distraction, setting up a reverse 3D. A Bookend is enough to get rid of Steiner and make it 5-4.

The World’s Strongest Slam gets rid of Booker a few seconds later to tie it right back up. Bubba comes in to try his luck and is sent hard into the corner. D-Von’s help doesn’t make things much better as the Dudleys are rammed together. Mark misses a charge though and it’s a 3D into the Five Star for the elimination. It’s off to Orton for a hard clothesline on Van Dam but Rob scores with a kick. Another Five Star is loaded up but Jericho makes a save, setting up the RKO to tie things up at three each. Jericho comes in and missile dropkicks D-Von down as JR and King wonder how things will go tomorrow night.

D-Von shoulders Jericho down for no count as Christian has the referee, setting up the sleeper drop for another elimination. This match is already better paced than the opener and here’s Shawn to pick things up all over again. Shawn pounds on Jericho in the corner and catches an invading Christian without much effort. Orton gets in a dropkick but stays down anyway as I guess he didn’t hit all of it. A double tag brings in Christian and Bubba with a backdrop getting two on the Canadian.

Jericho runs Christian over by mistake but a low blow sets up the Unprettier to get rid of Bubba. We’re down to Shawn vs. Christian/Jericho/Orton and Austin is starting to see how much trouble he’s in. Shawn punches away at Christian to start but some good old fashioned double teaming has Shawn in trouble again. Like there’s any other way this should go. Shawn is taken outside and catapulted into the post (you can see him blade on the wide shot) to bust open a GUSHER.

That and a suplex are only good for two back inside and Christian even steals his pose. Jerry: “That was a creepy little pose right there.” The Unprettier is broken up and a quick Sweet Chin Music gets rid of Christian. A frustrated Jericho comes in and gets two off a clothesline before handing it back to Orton. Shawn gets in a belly to back suplex but Jericho comes back in to take over again. As usual, JR is perfect at calling this kind of a story and Shawn getting two off a DDT has Jerry trying as hard as he can to believe in Shawn.

The Lionsault hits knees and Shawn pulls himself up but gets pulled into a Walls attempt. That’s reversed into a quick small package to get rid of Jericho and make it one on one (Lawler: “I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!”). Jericho isn’t gone yet though and caves Shawn’s head in with a chair shot. Why that isn’t a DQ on Orton isn’t clear but Shawn is done as Orton comes back in.

That’s only good for two and you can see the sigh of relief from Austin. Orton’s high crossbody hits the referee and here’s Bischoff to break up Sweet Chin Music. That’s too much for Austin so it’s a Stunner to Orton but he makes the mistake of beating on Bischoff a bit too much. They go up the aisle and here’s Batista to powerbomb Shawn, giving Orton the final pin.

Rating: B+. I love this match and always have. It doesn’t really pick up until Shawn is on his own but that’s what he’s done best throughout his entire career. He knows how to play the underdog better than anyone I’ve ever seen and you really can get behind the Lawler mindset of trying to believe here. As usual, Shawn is great in this role and it’s never too far to believe that he could pull this off (quick superkick, small package for two eliminations). Great stuff, but you might want to skip the first few minutes.

Austin is stunned at the loss because he placed his career in someone else’s hands and was let down. The bloody Shawn can barely stand and Austin congratulates him for giving it everything he had. Austin grabs the mic and talks about starting here in Dallas and going out here as well. Coach comes out to laugh and gets beaten up one more time with security getting the same treatment. Beer is consumed as a final goodbye. You know, assuming you believe that he’s gone for good this time.

We recap Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon. Undertaker wants the title one more time but Vince screwed him over at No Mercy. Therefore Undertaker wanted a Buried Alive match here, because that’s where you go from here. Vince then went into this weird spiritual thing, which really didn’t work or accomplish much.

Tazz’s key for Vince’s victory: AVOID THE HOLE! Good advice.

Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker

Buried Alive and Vince drops to a knee in prayer before the match. Undertaker punches him down to start and the beating is on in a hurry. Vince is already bleeding less than thirty seconds in as this is going to be one sided for a long time. The beating continues until Undertaker crotches him on the post to switch things up a bit. More low blows keep Vince in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor with Undertaker choking with a cord. Completely one sided so far, as you probably guessed.

Cole and Tazz try to explain the idea of Vince being punished for his sins, which I’m guessing are mainly about Stephanie. I mean, almost everything else is. Vince is thrown over the announcers’ table and it’s time to go to the grave. Well just Undertaker at this point and he comes back with a shovel. One heck of a shot to the head rocks Vince again and Cole declares it over. So much for Undertaker’s hot streak.

Vince’s ankle gets crushed by the steps and NOW it’s time to head to the grave. Vince finally throws some dirt in the eyes (his first “offense”) and a low blow keeps Undertaker in trouble. A shovel to the head puts Undertaker in the grave….for a few seconds. He pulls Vince in and goes to the front loader to drop the dirt but gets cut off by lightning. Cue Kane to beat up Undertaker and bury him (again) to give Vince the win.

Rating: D-. So yeah LOLVINCEWINS because of course he does. There was nothing to see here unless you like Undertaker destroying people and then having a surprise ending. The announcers treated this like Undertaker’s last match, because if there’s one thing Undertaker is known for, it’s going away for good. It’s more of a match than an angle, and there’s no way that’s how Undertaker is going out. Bad match but moderately entertaining beatdown.

Cole and Tazz are SHOCKED.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Goldberg won the title last month so HHH put a $100,000 bounty on his head. Batista returned and collected by breaking Goldberg’s ankle so tonight it’s about revenge and the title. There’s not much of a reason for this to main event but would you expect much else? Well save for Vince maybe?

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Goldberg

Goldberg is defending and is coming in with a bad ankle. HHH is looking as out of shape as I’ve seen him in years, probably due to his bad groin injury. Hang on a second though as Goldberg has to quickly dispatch Flair to make it a little more fair. They head outside in short order with Goldberg hammering away but the ankle gives out on a gorilla press attempt.

A chop block takes Goldberg down and we hit the meat of the match. Flair is back up as HHH sends Goldberg outside, meaning a distraction sets up a chair to Goldberg’s ankle. There’s another chop block back inside and the slow leg work continues with Flair getting in a few shots of his own. A knee drop keeps the ankle in trouble and we hit a half crab. At least he knows his low level submissions.

Goldberg grabs the rope and fires off some right hands to little avail. A limping clothesline works a bit better as Flair is beside himself. HHH takes him down again and calls for a Figure Four, only to be kicked into the referee. That means brass knuckles for a very near fall and HHH beats up the referee again. The sledgehammer is brought down but Goldberg kicks him down with the bad ankle.

Flair’s latest attempt at interfering gets him slammed off the top (JR: “It hasn’t worked in thirty years.”) and Goldberg grabs the hammer. A shot to the ribs drops Flair and an invading Batista and Orton are quickly dispatched as well. The Pedigree is blocked and Goldberg picks up the hammer again but throws it down. Instead it’s a spear and Jackhammer to retain the title like a real man.

Rating: D+. Well if you’re a fan of HHH working the ankle, have fun. Goldberg looks strong, but there have been so many other big matches tonight that this isn’t the strongest way to end things. I’ll give them points for giving Goldberg a push, but you’re crazy if you think HHH isn’t getting the title back within the next month. Just a messy brawl, but it could have been much worse. At least HHH didn’t need fifteen minutes of working the leg.

Overall Rating: C-. There’s some good and bad stuff on this show but the bad wins out in the end. Between the weak main event, not great opener and pretty terrible Vince vs. Undertaker match, there’s not enough to put with Shawn’s amazing performance. This was better than I was expecting though and that’s a nice relief. Both shows need something fresh on top and it actually seems to be happening on Smackdown. I’ll take one out of two, especially at this point in time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That would look to set up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Crown Jewel
Date: November 2, 2018
Location: King Saud University, Stadium, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Renee Young

We’re back on the other side of the world this time and things aren’t exactly going well. The focal point of the show is D-Generation X vs. the Brothers of Destruction with Shawn Michaels coming out of retirement in a detail that has been forgotten in the whole ordeal. Other than that we’re going to have a new Universal Champion today as Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar face off for the title vacated by Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.

The video screen is in the shape of a crown for a nice touch.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Nakamura is defending. Rusev throws him into the corner for some right hands and a shoulder to the ribs, followed by a suplex for one. A kick to the knee cuts Rusev down and we hit the front facelock. That stays on for a good while until Rusev pops up with a spinwheel kick. The Machka kick misses and Nakamura throws some right hands, only to get caught by the Machka kick a few seconds later.

It’s time to stomp on the spine but Nakamura kicks him in the head as well. The sliding knee gets two and Nakamura goes up for the knee but dives straight into the superkick for two. Nakamura bails to the ropes to avoid the Accolade and now the middle rope knee connects. Kinshasa is countered into the Accolade but Nakamura headbutts him low for another break. Now Kinshasa can connect to retain the title at 9:32.

Rating: D+. Just a match really and there’s nothing wrong with that to open things up. This could have been on almost any given house show and for a Kickoff Show match, that’s perfectly fine. Nakamura needs something to motivate him though and that would start with an actual feud for the title instead of these one off title defenses.

The opening video talks about the big matches tonight. Not much to that one.

Here’s Hulk Hogan to open the show as your host for the evening, complete with pyro. Your annoying idea of the show: a sparkling sound whenever a graphic comes on or leaves the screen. Hogan talks about how the power of Hulkamania is stronger than ever right here at the Crown Jewel jack. He’s happy to be here and the show starts now. This was just a glorified cameo.

We welcome a Saudi government official.

There’s an Arabic announce team at ringside.

Most of the people in the tournament are getting a quick sound byte which is them saying they’ll win and how important this is to them.

World Cup of Wrestling First Round: Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Both wrestlers have their resumes read off before their entrances for a little change of pace. Rey is in a singlet top, possibly for reasons of tattoos. Some kicks to the legs have Orton in early trouble and another kick to the head puts him down. He’s fine enough to dropkick Mysterio out of the air for two though and things slow down. The slow stomping begins but Rey headbutts his way out of a superplex attempt. Rey speeds things back up and hits the springboard middle rope crossbody. A spinning DDT gets two but the 619 is reversed into the hanging DDT. Back up and Rey grabs a quick rollup for the pin out of nowhere at 5:33.

Rating: C-. I can’t say I’m surprised about the fast match here as there’s a lot to get through and there’s a lot of other stuff going on that is taking its own time. Mysterio winning is the right call as the underdog is a story that tells itself. This was nothing special but it was the right result and didn’t overstay its welcome.

Post match Orton hits an RKO and throws Mysterio outside. Rey gets dropped ribs first onto the announcers’ table and is left laying.

Miz says there is no stopping him from winning.

World Cup of Wrestling First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. The Miz

We get the resumes again, and it really shows how frequently titles change anymore and how little a reign means. Miz grabs a headlock to start and poses, earning himself a hiptoss. The Skull Crushing Finale is countered into a rollup for two but Miz kicks him in the chest. A chinlock goes on for a bit as the announcers talk about Cleveland sports being so bad. Some running dropkicks in the corner rock Jeff but he’s fine enough to come out with a clothesline.

The legdrop between the legs into the basement dropkick gets two and the Whisper in the Wind is good for the same. Miz is fine enough to kick him in the leg but the Figure Four is broken up. Jeff kicks him to the floor and runs the barricade for the clothesline. Back in and Miz grabs a rollup but gets caught with his feet on the ropes. Jeff tries the Twist of Fate but gets reversed into the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin at 6:58.

Rating: D+. It’s very clear that they’re doing the stadium style matches and not veering from the greatest hits playbook as the fans might not be familiar with the product. There’s nothing wrong with that as it makes perfect sense for the location, but it doesn’t do much for the fans watching elsewhere. The match was watchable enough, though they didn’t exactly have time to go anywhere and it was clear they weren’t going to be putting in the harder effort.

World Cup of Wrestling First Round: Seth Rollins vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title of course and Lio Rush is here for the hype. Lashley shoves Rollins down without much effort and we hear about all of Lashley’s athletic accomplishments. A spinebuster drops Rollins for two and Lashley sends him face first into the turnbuckle. That means a seated full nelson and a Downward Spiral cuts off Rollins’ comeback.

With Rush having been quiet (or at least off the microphone) throughout the entire match so far, Rollins finally fights up with a kick to the head to send Lashley outside. There’s the required suicide dive, though Rollins comes up holding his already weakened neck. The Buckle Bomb is broken up but Rollins slips away and hits the Stomp out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: C. The time issues are killing these matches and there’s no hiding that. Rollins beating Lashley is fine but it really should take more than five minutes for him to pull it off. Lashley’s downward spiral continues as it’s been a good while since he actually won a match. Rollins should make the finals here, or at least not lose clean anywhere along the line.

Kurt Angle says no one believes he can win this tournament, but no one believed in him during the Olympics either.

World Cup of Wrestling First Round: Kurt Angle vs. Dolph Ziggler

Drew McIntyre is out with Ziggler. Dolph goes for the leg to start but Angle throws him down with no issue. They head to the mat with Ziggler actually getting the better of it as the fans chant for Angle a bit. Back up and the belly to belly sets up the German suplexes on Ziggler, including the eternally teased one off the apron. Instead they head to the floor with Ziggler sending him into the steps, followed by a neckbreaker for two back inside.

The chinlock goes on as Cole talks about Angle not competing since Wrestlemania. Yeah dude I’d like to forget Greatest Royal Rumble too. Or the battle royal that got him into this match. Angle fights up and grabs the rolling German suplexes for two more as Kurt isn’t exactly going outside of his comfort zone here.

Ziggler’s DDT gets the same but the Fameasser misses, setting up the Angle Slam for Kurt’s own near fall. The ankle lock is broken up and now the Fameasser connects for two. Kurt is fine enough to slap on the ankle lock so Ziggler rolls through. A missed charge sends Angle into the post and the Zig Zag is enough to put him away at 8:17.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t so much bad, but much more hard to watch. Angle just doesn’t have it anymore but it’s impossible to get that through his head. This was a bunch of greatest hits (a common occurrence tonight) and I can’t say I’m surprised that Angle wasn’t allowed to go out there twice in a row. Ziggler going forward makes sense, though it wasn’t exactly a great match either way.

The announcers run down some of the remaining matches.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. The Bar

Big E. and Kofi are challenging here and New Day comes out on a magic carpet and throw out the pancakes. The announcers make Aladdin jokes, which do make this a little easier to watch. Big Show is here with the Bar because he’s big all over. The world you see. Big E. drives Sheamus into the corner to start and we hit that hip swiveling. A shoulder gives Big E. one as the announcers talk about Sheamus being very underrated. I like the guy and yeah he kind of is, but there’s something that feels weird about him being a four time World Champion.

Cesaro comes in to monkey flip Kofi, who lands on his feet. The trombone plays on as Cesaro charges into a dropkick for two, followed by a crossbody for the same. A whip into the corner lets Show get in some choking/face squeezing though and Kofi is in trouble. Some knee drops set up the armbar before it’s back to Cesaro for the gutwrench suplex. The chinlock goes on again, as the pace of the match stays at a low level.

Kofi fights up and kicks Sheamus away but he gets driven right back into the champs’ corner for a backdrop/Jackhammer combination (Cesaro loaded up a suplex with Sheamus holding the legs and flipping Kofi back into the Jackhammer) for two more. The next comeback attempt actually works and it’s Sheamus missing a charge into the post (that’s becoming WAY too common these days around here), allowing the hot tag to Big E.

The Rock Bottom out of the corner gets two on Sheamus but the spear through the ropes hits a raised knee. A spinning kick to the face puts Cesaro on the floor and Kofi follows him out with a dive. Big E. gets shoved into the corner and the referee falls down getting out of the way, allowing Show to punch E. in the face. The Brogue Kick is enough to retain the titles at 10:33.

Rating: C. Probably the match of the night here and it was firmly below its ceiling, which wasn’t that high in the first place. It’s a match that has been seen before and featured a long heat segment. The additional time helped a little big but it’s still nothing that we haven’t seen a few times. Again, it felt like a house show match, and that’s not meant as a compliment.

Miz talks about how his throat was banged up in his first match but nothing is stopping him from ending Mysterio’s story and becoming Best in the World.

Mysterio says he’s banged up, but you can’t put a number on his heart. He’s been underestimated before and it’s never stopped him before, just like it won’t here.

World Cup of Wrestling Semifinals: The Miz vs. Rey Mysterio

Mysterio is banged up from the Orton attack and has lost the singlet. Miz tries to speed things up to start but gets taken down, only to avoid a kick to the face. Rey gets sent outside, slides back in, and hits a slingshot dropkick through the ropes. There’s the sliding splash underneath the bottom rope but it bangs up Rey’s ribs all over again. Not the brightest idea in the world Rey, but that’s never stopped him before.

Back in and Mysterio’s charge is reversed into an Alley Oop faceplant in a display of power you don’t get from Miz very often. The rib work continues with Miz putting on the bow and arrow, with Graves talking about Miz’s black belt in martial arts. A bodyscissors is slightly less martial artsy and Rey is sent ribs first to the floor. You certainly can’t fault the logic in Miz’s plan and an abdominal stretch makes things even worse.

Rey finally gets in a tornado DDT for the double knockdown and it’s time for the comeback. Right hands and a hurricanrana send Miz into the corner but he reverses the sitout bulldog into the Finale or a pretty close two. The same rollup that finished Orton earlier gets two here and there’s the 619. Rey loads up the top rope splash but it lands on the raised knees to give Miz the pin at 11:11.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing what a simple story and the extra time can do for you. This was far from a classic or anything but it was a good, eleven minute match. Miz winning clean again is a little jarring but he came in with an advantage in the first place. Mysterio going to the finals would have made a lot of sense for the underdog story but Miz could do some great bragging if he wins the whole thing.

Rollins says his back is against the wall and that’s where he does his best work.

World Cup of Wrestling Semifinals: Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title again and McIntyre is with Ziggler. They go to the mat to start and that’s a standoff. Er, crawl off in this case. Seth goes for the ankle that was injured by Angle earlier but gets headlocked for his efforts. Rollins fights up and holds his neck but is fine enough to send Ziggler outside. With Ziggler being thrown back inside, McIntyre stares Rollins down so Dolph can grab a DDT for two and injure the neck even more. A neckbreaker sets up another chinlock and it’s off to some choking on the ropes.

The announcers talk about Seth’s bad back, despite the neck being the focal point for the last few minutes. That and, you know, Rollins holding his neck for most of the match. Sometimes sticking to the script isn’t as important as what’s right in front of you. Ziggler starts getting cocky again but is smart enough to hit another neckbreaker. The kickout starts the frustration though and it’s off to a bodyscissors with a neck crank at the same time.

Back up and Ziggler’s running DDT is countered into a rollup for two and it’s off to the pinfall reversal sequence. Rollins picks up a sunset flip and tries the Buckle Bomb, which is reversed into a Code Red for two more. The ripcord knee gives Rollins two but here’s McIntyre on the apron for a distraction. That doesn’t go very well as Ziggler is thrown outside, setting up the big dive to take them both out.

Back in and the Stomp misses, allowing Ziggler to hit the Fameasser for two of his own. Ziggler goes up for the sole purpose of the running superplex but Rollins’ neck gives out on the Falcon Arrow, allowing Dolph to hit the Zig Zag for the best near fall of the match. Rollins is right back up and diving onto McIntyre and he shoves Ziggler off the top, only to have McIntyre do the same to Rollins, who crashes to the mat. The superkick gives Ziggler the pin at 13:06.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t clean so they got the important part right, but are we really getting Ziggler vs. Miz as the final? That’s uh, quite the interesting choice for a final and not something that many people were likely to expect. They had a good match here again, which isn’t that much of a surprise, with the neck being a perfectly fine story. Again: the time made a huge difference here and it’s no surprise that the match was good given the extra work they were able to put in.

Ziggler says that wasn’t an upset and the next time you see him, he’ll be the Best in the World.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe, which is really just a recap of their feud from a few weeks ago without any mention of AJ winning the anything goes match in Australia. We also see AJ vs. Daniel Bryan on Tuesday and Joe running in to choke them both out to set up this match. Again: not the most ideal setup, but completely acceptable given the circumstances and the most logical path they had.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

AJ is defending. They go straight at it after the Big Match Intros with AJ kicking at the knee to put Joe down in a hurry. A single right hand to the head puts Joe down (that’s a rare one) and they head outside with AJ slipping off Joe’s shoulder and posting him in some violence you don’t often see from him. Joe drops him face first onto the barricade and the leg is fine enough to hit the suicide dive, sending AJ hard into the announcers’ table. You can see Joe go into the angry face and that isn’t likely to be a good thing.

Back in and Joe hits a corner enziguri for two, setting up the neck crank. AJ fights up and hits the Pele but Joe is too big for the Styles Clash. Instead it’s a shot to the face to put Joe down but he ducks the Phenomenal Forearm. The snap powerslam gives Joe two and one heck of a clothesline is good for the same.

The Calf Crusher is broken up in a hurry and Joe is right back with the Koquina Clutch. AJ is smart enough to grab the bad leg though and Joe has to go back to the ropes. That’s quite the smart move. With the submissions not working, it’s another Pele and the Phenomenal Forearm to retain the title at 11:11.

Rating: B-. The matches on the show keep getting better and again, that’s not exactly surprising given who was in there. These two know each other very well and while the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt, at least they put in some effort. That being said, giving them eleven minutes wasn’t exactly long enough to make the match work as well as it could have been. Good, but not as great as their other matches.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman

The title is vacant coming in and Paul Heyman and Baron Corbin are at ringside. Heyman says that we might as well get it out of the way and introduces Lesnar as the new champion. Corbin gets in and hits Strowman with the title, setting up the F5 for two. Another F5 gets two more as we’re just now a minute into the match. The third F5 gets the third two and Lesnar loads up another, but this time it sends Strowman outside. Strowman is back in at nine so Lesnar takes off the gloves. Another F5 is countered and Lesnar runs into a big boot, only to come back with another F5 to get the title back at 3:16.

Rating: Thomas Jefferson Sucka. I knew it. Deep down inside, I knew it. When I did my preview of this show, I said I was scared that they would do exactly what they did here but said I was going to give them the benefit of the doubt, because this was the stupidest thing they could do with this match. Lesnar is likely going back to UFC (or at least teasing the heck out of doing so) to set up a match for their World Title and that means SEVERAL MORE MONTHS without the title being around.

We had about two and a half months of Lesnar not being champion, with almost two weeks of that being spent with the title vacated. Now we’re RIGHT BACK WHERE WE WERE LAST YEAR but with no Roman Reigns to come and save us. Who in the world is supposed to take the title from Lesnar now? Strowman just got squashed, Rollins and Ambrose are going to be fighting each other for a LONG time, and…..dang who else is left? McIntyre? I can’t imagine they’d pull the trigger on him, even though it would be a good move at this point. Let’s just get it out of the way: Lesnar is probably holding it until Reigns gets back isn’t he?

This should have been Strowman’s night and instead, it was the fork in his main event career. No one is going to want to see him fight Lesnar again and now we need someone else to go after the title. Strowman, now weakened, can continue his feud with McIntyre, because Lesnar isn’t going to be around. Yeah the title belt to the head kept this from being clean, but my goodness they had everything there for Strowman to look like the real monster.

I do not get this. We just spent OVER A YEAR waiting on someone to stop Lesnar and now he’s just right back as champion. It would be like a movie ending with the good guys FINALLY winning and then the sequel coming out with the villains having taken over again. That might work for Star Wars, but at least they had the decency to wait about twenty five years instead of two months. This felt like the move that would annoy the fans who criticized Crown Jewel the most, and that’s not the kind of move that is going to do the company a lot of good. I do not get this.

Wait…do I not even get McIntyre vs. Strowman out of this? Are they going with Corbin over McIntyre now? Is McIntyre still going to be stuck as Ziggler muscle even longer? All because Lesnar needed to get the title again and sit on the sidelines with the thing while the rest of the roster fights over nothing? WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS???

We run down the Survivor Series card, which is all champions vs. champions again and two weeks from Sunday, because of course we only get that much time between pay per views. Again. Including AJ vs. Lesnar again, because AJ never lost the title and Lesnar lost it for all of two months of about a year and a half.

Shane McMahon comes out to watch the World Cup Finals. Did you know money talks? I didn’t know if that was clear enough given….well the fact that we’re here. Corbin is here as well.

World Cup of Wrestling Finals: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is with McIntyre and Miz is fired from Smackdown if he loses. Actually hang on as McIntyre is sent to the back. Miz jumps an annoyed Ziggler and sends him outside…but messes up his knee following Ziggler out. The bell hasn’t rung as a limping Miz sends him into the steps. The referee comes over to check on Miz, who insists he’s fine. Shane is watching and the referee says Miz can’t compete. Miz insists that he can because he’s never been injured (sounds like part of the Daniel Bryan feud) but Shane says the match isn’t going to be a forfeit….because he’s taking Miz’s place. My goodness this is happening.

World Cup of Wrestling Finals: Shane McMahon vs. Dolph Ziggler

Corbin freaks out as Shane is in a shirt (which comes off to reveal some jacked arms) and jeans. Shane slugs away (work with me here) to start and hits the jumping elbow to the jaw as the announcers have no idea how this is legal. Corbin grabs Shane so he gets ejected as well. The Zig Zag connects for two so Ziggler rips at his face until Shane comes back with more of his strikes. A DDT and a catapult into the corner sets up Coast to Coast (barely making contact) to make Shane the BEST IN THE WORLD at 2:37.

Shane celebrates like a crazy man and holds up the cup as the announcers are stunned. To recap, the hierarchy is now Brock Lesnar (best in the Universe), Shane McMahon (best in the World) and AJ Styles (best in WWE). The youngest of those: Brock, at a spry 41 years old. Shane: “I can’t believe it!” Oh….I think I can Shane. You just won a tournament you weren’t even in. I can believe anything at this point.

So, to recap, we just spent a good month building up this tournament and it’s all for the sake of Smackdown vs. Raw at Survivor Series (which you know is coming, mainly because they’ve advertised it tonight) with SHANE MCMAHON winning a tournament of eight former World Champions? All so he and precious Stephanie (assuming she’s done with her cause of the week) can argue again?

For the last few weeks, I’ve ranted and raved about how this tournament means nothing and how it’s going to be another version of the Greatest Royal Rumble, where the big match of the show would up meaning absolutely nothing. At this point, I think I’d prefer that. Survivor Series used to be my favorite pay per view, but now it’s being used for the sake of pushing Shane vs. Stephanie (just like last year) in a feud that stopped mattering the day after Survivor Series (just like last year). This tournament was little more than a way to get that ready and we were stupid enough to believe it was for anything else.

But Shane? You pick him to go in there for an injured Miz? Was Miz supposed to be the sympathetic face out of this whole thing? I know Shane is going to be in the Raw vs. Smackdown match at the pay per view because that’s what he does, but after the match they did before this, I don’t think I can imagine something even dumber. That being said, I haven’t been able to stop smiling since it happened.

Lesnar vs. Strowman is something that is going to cause issues for months to come. Shane’s big moment is going to stop meaning anything by the end of November and it’s not like this big story was any kind of a secret. It was just a matter of how they contrived the story this year and it happened to be a tournament that seemed pretty meaningless on the surface. I’m not really that mad about this, because it’s almost far from the worst thing this family has ever done in this company. They did this to set up Survivor Series and it’s going to be all about Shane vs. Stephanie. You knew it was coming, and this was part of it.

We recap D-Generation X vs. the Brothers of Destruction. They’re all old, they apparently hate each other now because twenty years of beating each other up wasn’t done out of love, and this match is going to get more time than any two matches on the show, because that’s the reward you get for being old. Oh and Shawn Michaels is returning to the ring for the first time in eight and a half years. I mention that at the end because WWE has somehow turned that into a pretty minimal detail. I’m as shocked as you are.

D-Generation X vs. Brothers of Destruction

DX has a ton of glow sticks and both have a bunch of NXT logos on their gear, including the entire back of HHH’s vest. That’s very cool of them to talk up the future so much. Now step back and let four people with a combined age of 206 have a horrible match for half an hour. Shawn in gear and bald looks like an alien. Or a character in a sitcom in an episode where everyone loses their hair.

HHH and Kane start things off and stare at each other for over a minute with a lot of trash talking included. The first right hand to the mask just annoys Kane so he uppercuts a crotch chopping HHH down (before he could do something that would likely get him killed in this country….wherever it is). HHH cranks on the arm and tags Shawn in, who comes in off the top with an ax handle to the arm to a limited pop while Cole is in the middle of a line about how interesting it is that Shawn comes in off the top.

A swinging neckbreaker puts Kane down and the fans just aren’t reacting, mainly because they probably don’t know much about the history here. The threat of Sweet Chin Music sends Kane to the corner and it’s off to Undertaker as Shawn looks a little scared. Shawn steps up to him but gets the throat slit. The crotch chop actually makes air so Shawn gets kicked in the face. Undertaker cranks on the arm but HHH breaks up Old School. Everything breaks down with Shawn being caught in the Tree of Woe and HHH being thrown over him and out to the floor.

The Brothers clear the ring and DX has a conference on the floor, which apparently includes HHH telling Shawn that he’s torn his pectoral muscle (already confirmed by WWE with surgery scheduled). Back in and double chokeslams are broken up with the Brothers being knocked to the floor instead. That earns DX another beating and now Old School connects on Shawn. The big boot in the corner misses though and HHH comes in but clearly can’t use the arm.

We get to the slow beating portion but HHH avoids the elbow drop and grabs a DDT. It’s back to Shawn for the forearm (with almost no elevation) and the nip up (FINALLY a strong reaction from Cole) but he can’t slam Kane. For some reason Kane can’t gorilla press Shawn though and it’s a double suplex to put Kane down again. The top rope elbow connects on Kane but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Undertaker comes in again for Snake Eyes into the big boot but Shawn pops up with a superkick. There’s no HHH though so Undertaker sends Shawn outside to the announcers’ table.

HHH breaks up a Tombstone and sends Kane into the steps. After a loudly called spot to Undertaker, HHH gets whipped into the barricade, but for some reason Undertaker crashes into it as well. Kane hits a chokeslam to put HHH through the announcers’ table (without moving the monitors) and Undertaker hits the apron legdrop on Shawn. The fans think this is awesome and then just cheer for Undertaker (because Kane still can’t get any love). HHH is done so it’s the Brothers taking turns on Shawn inside.

Undertaker chokes on Shawn as it seems like they’re not sure what to do next. Some elbows to the head keep Shawn in trouble and it’s off to the chinlock. Kane adds the sidewalk slam but gets crotched on top. Shawn manages to post Undertaker and goes up but Kane is waiting on him. They slug it out on the ropes with Shawn punching him so hard that Kane’s mask (and hair) fly off. That means the moonsault to the floor onto both Brothers, with Shawn’s face bouncing off the floor in a painful looking crash.

HHH is back up and comes in off the hot tag for more left handed chops. With HHH only able to use one arm, Cole thinks it’s a rib injury. The Pedigree and Tombstone are broken up, followed by the Pedigree connecting on Undertaker. HHH has to deal with Kane (masked again) though and gets pulled into Hell’s Gate. A superkick to Kane sends him into HHH and Undertaker to break up the hold and all four are down again. The Brothers are up first but the double Tombstones are broken up. Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree (understandably terrible) finishes Kane at 27:50.

Rating: D-. I’m giving them a break because of the injury (which probably changed a lot) but this was very similar to what had to be expected: a lot of laying around, a bunch of finishers, and the match being called epic because it went longer than the first round World Cup matches put together. This looked like four old men who hadn’t been told that they should have stopped a long time ago. It wasn’t a complete and utter disaster, but it was long, messy and a match that only felt like it existed because HHH decided it should.

The match just wasn’t very good. It had a few moments that weren’t bad, but a few moments over nearly twenty eight minutes don’t make those moments look good. They make the match feel long, which is the only way to describe this. All four of them need to go away as their time has passed. It was one thing when they were still doing well, but that’s not the case here and it hasn’t been for a long time now.

As for Shawn….he looked passable. Of course nowhere near the level he was at the peak of his career, but was anyone expecting that? Or even at the end of his career? It’s not going to be remembered as some incredible comeback, but rather as that time he came back and it was on that really bad show and didn’t completely embarrass himself. It could have been worse, but it’s not something that needed to happen.

Cole praises these four as “the four greatest of all time” as a ton of pyro ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show made me think of Wrestlemania XVII. That show very well may be the greatest card of all time with more masterpieces than you could find on almost any other show. With Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit, TLC II, Undertaker vs. HHH and Rock vs. Austin II and a bunch of other matches that didn’t mean much. That’s the same as this show. I mean, if you flip it around with one horrible thing after another that is.

The wrestling was, at best, worthy of a house show where they weren’t trying very hard. The best match of the night was Joe vs. AJ and that’s been done several times before, always at a higher level too. Other than that, you have two good tournament matches in the semifinals and four opening round matches which were watchable at best. Then Shane won the tournament, rendering the other six matches completely worthless, along with the finals themselves. What a great way of using over half of your card.

The interesting thing to me is how the show was mediocre (at best) until after the Styles vs. Joe match. The wrestling was watchable enough and while nothing had really happened, it wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen. There certainly wasn’t anything worth getting annoyed over or that left you scratching your head. Then the Lesnar deal happened.

That’s where everything fell off a cliff and there was no coming back. The wrestling stopped being good, the stories started being more about shock value than anything else and the main event felt like it was never going to end. That’s a problem when that was about the last third of the show after what wasn’t a great first two thirds. That doesn’t leave you much of anything and I’m not sure what positives you can get out of this.

When you break it down, you had a show where it didn’t look like there was a lot of energy (maybe the wrestlers were jetlagged, maybe they didn’t want to be there, maybe something else), where the big stuff that happened made you scratch your head and where the main event made you wonder when retirement homes started running wrestling shows. Or allowing moonsaults for that matter.

The problem is WWE bills these shows as some of the biggest of the year and they haven’t felt that way. So far they’ve felt like shows that are on a big stage but without the effort being put into them. I’m not saying the wrestlers weren’t trying because that wasn’t the case, but both shows in this country have felt flat. I know the fans are a completely different audience and they probably aren’t die hard followers of the product, but good wrestling can overcome that to a degree. I didn’t see that here and I didn’t see it back in April either.

At the end of the day, the shows just aren’t very good. While Greatest Royal Rumble was really boring, this one was brought down by bad choices. Lesnar is champion again and that’s just depressing. Shane is somehow the best in the world and now we’ll get to hear Stephanie complain about that for a few weeks. The old guys were given three times as long as they realistically should have had. Where is the good in this whole thing? In WWE’s bank accounts of course, but if that money doesn’t make the product better, I don’t see how that’s helping the fans at all, which was the case with this show too.

Results

Rey Mysterio b. Randy Orton – Rollup

The Miz b. Jeff Hardy – Skull Crushing Finale

Seth Rollins b. Bobby Lashley – Stomp

Dolph Ziggler b. Kurt Angle – Zig Zag

The Bar b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.

The Miz b. Rey Mysterio – Miz blocked Mysterio’s top rope splash

Dolph Ziggler b. Seth Rollins – Superkick

AJ Styles b. Samoa Joe – Phenomenal Forearm

Brock Lesnar b. Braun Strowman – F5

Shane McMahon b. Dolph Ziggler – Coast to Coast

D-Generation X b. Brothers of Destruction – Pedigree to Kane

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Evolution
Date: October 28, 2018
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Renee Young, Beth Phoenix

It’s time for another historical one with the first ever all female pay per view. This has been long in the making and the card is pretty close to being stacked, though at seven matches with four hours to fill, we could be in for something interesting. The only mystery isn’t so much what Stephanie McMahon will say but how long she’ll take to say it. Let’s get to it.

We open with Stephanie (I would say take a shot but I’d like to have an audience who doesn’t die of alcohol poisoning) narrating a video about how women have moved forward in recent years. The other women get to talk about what the change means to them and how they want to make this the best. Stephanie gets the last word because it’s really her show.

We get a regular hype video focusing on the past, present and future theme.

Nita Strauss plays us in and we get a live theme song.

The announcers talk while the band moves their stuff.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Alicia Fox/Mickie James

Fox is replacing an injured Alexa Bliss. BIG pop for the legends, as you would expect. Bliss is here to introduce her team and says she’ll make it quick because we’re past Trish and Lita’s bedtime. Your trivia for the night: Alicia Fox is the longest tenured woman on the roster. The villains are in Alice in Wonderland gear, with Mickie as the Queen of Harts, Fox as the Mad Hatter and Alexa as Alice. Lita on the other hand has regular pants on with material up her back to imitate her signature look. On the bad side though, the lights are down to hide what are likely empty seats.

Lita headscissors James down to start and avoids a DDT before handing it off to Trish for double Poetry in Motion. A snapmare takes Alicia down and it’s off to Mickie for the VERY well received showdown. Some forearms have Mickie rocked and there’s the Thesz press. Trish runs into a boot to the face but is fine enough to snap off a hurricanrana out of the corner. Lita comes in again as this has been one sided so far. The villains bail to the floor but run away before the double suicide dives can launch.

They can’t leave though as Trish and Lita throw them back inside, only to have Bliss pull Lita off the top to break up the moonsault. Trish can’t make a save as Fox trips Lita again, setting up the perfect northern lights suplex. Lita fights out of a chinlock and takes Fox down with a reverse DDT, allowing the hot tag to pick up the pace. Some hard chops set up the Stratusfaction to Mickie for two, with the referee having to stop counting at two because Fox was late with the save. The Twist of Fate to Fox sets up the double moonsault, followed by the Chick Kick to finish Mickie at 10:54.

Rating: B-. Layoffs considered, this was really good stuff. Trish and Lita looked awesome and the only major botch was from the referee at the end. This was exactly how it should have gone and the crowd was red hot all match. The legends were barely in any trouble and won in dominant fashion. Mickie and Fox losing doesn’t hurt them at all and it was a cool moment as Trish and Lita came off as huge stars. It’s so cool that two of the biggest inspirations in the history of women’s wrestling can still work matches, and work them at a high level. You don’t get that very often.

The Bellas aren’t sorry for what they’ve said about Rousey and her family and dedicate the match to Ronda’s mom. She’s now an honorary member of the Bella Army. Is there a screening process for the Army? Shouldn’t she be a full member? Anyway, Nikki says she’s fearless and a do something Bella (What does that even mean?) who will leave as champion tonight.

We hear what Evolution means to Asuka, Kelly Kelly, Lilian Garcia and Sasha Banks.

Battle Royal

Naomi, Michelle McCool, Sonya Deville, Alundra Blayze, Carmella, Zelina Vega, Kelly Kelly, Tamina, Ember Moon, Lana, Maria Kanellis, Molly Holly, Dana Brooke, Nia Jax, Ivory, Asuka, Torrie Wilson, Peyton Royce, Billie Kay, Mandy Rose

Winner gets a future title shot and everyone gets an entrance, which is perfectly fine in something like this. Blayze has the old cape and Renee and Beth lose it. Ivory looks to be about ten years younger than she was when she was active. The Iiconics get to make fun of Long Island accents in a funny bit. They offer to throw all the legends out so they can get back to….whatever they do. Of course the legends toss them to start and it’s time for a showdown of the generations.

We settle down into the standard battle royal format with Molly being knocked out by Mandy and Sonya. They get rid of Kelly and Torrie (who got in way more offense than she should have) as well but Mandy turns on Sonya and gets rid of her. Blayze runs over Naomi and Asuka but Jax eliminates her to thin the field out even more. Maria catches Nia with a short DDT and gives Tamina a Bronco Buster but Nia headbutts her out. We get the Nia vs. Tamina showdown which still doesn’t matter because IT’S TAMINA.

Lana interrupts so Tamina and Nia clean house and stare each other down again. For some reason Lana tells them not to fight and then tries to jump them both, earning herself a double headbutt and an elimination. Nia slams Tamina and almost everyone gets involved in a quadruple suplex. Carmella is the only person standing so DANCE BREAK. Ivory joins in but Mandy sends her to the apron. Carmella dumps Mandy as Ivory is still in and everyone gets back up.

Moon gets rid of Dana and superkicks McCool out as well. Asuka and Naomi double team Tamina but she backdrops Naomi out to get us down to Ember, Nia, Carmella, Asuka, Tamina and Ivory. Ember completely botches a spinning side slam and Carmella gets knocked out. Ivory high crossbodies Tamina but stops to soak in the YOU STILL GOT IT chants, allowing Asuka to hip attack her out. Ember and Asuka get to have their reunion showdown with Ember kneeing her in the head and getting the elimination without much effort.

Tamina gives Ember the spinning Rock Bottom but get kicked in the face. The Eclipse gets rid of Tamina and we’re down to Moon vs. Jax. Nia runs her over as the fans are behind Ember, who is put out to the apron. They do the big dramatic pull over the top but Vega runs back in after hiding for a long time (I’m SICK of that trope.) and thinks she eliminates them both. Nia throws Vega out with ease, shrugs off Moon’s clotheslines and wins at 16:25.

Rating: C-. This was your usual legends battle royal with a lot more time. They did a good job of keeping things moving and didn’t have a lot of the weaker workers in there for very long. Nia winning is perfectly fine and one of the best options they had. It wasn’t supposed to be some great match but it did its job of letting us see a lot of the legends and letting them look good one more time.

Nia says this is awesome and she doesn’t care who she faces for the title.

Video on WWE working with a charity for young girls. Nothing wrong with that.

Long recap of the Mae Young Classic, looking at Kairi Sane winning last year and the path to this year’s finals.

Mae Young Classic Finals: Toni Storm vs. Io Shirai

They trade headlocks to start as we hear about Toni being the first Progress Women’s Champion. Toni slips out of a headscissors but Io picks things up with a fast dropkick. A handstand into a double knee drop sets up a Rings of Saturn (which Beth calls a version of a full nelson) to keep Toni grounded. Toni gets a foot on the ropes and snaps off a hard German suplex, only to get dropkicked off the top.

Shirai pops up and scores with a moonsault to the floor but Storm is right back with a German suplex on the apron. Back in and Shirai unloads on her with forearms, only to have Storm pop up with the Storm Zero for a close two. Shirai hits a 619 and a springboard sunset flip for two of her own. The moonsault hits raised knees and Storm Zero is good for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: B-. Well that was sudden. I was expecting this to be nearly twice as long and the match is just over that fast? Storm winning makes more sense as Shirai comes in with all the hype and Storm already lost once late in the tournament last year. The match was good, but I was expecting a lot more.

HHH, Stephanie and Sara Amato come out for the flowers and trophy presentations.

What Evolution means to Alundra Blayze, Eve Torres and Naomi.

Riott Squad vs. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Natalya

Liv and Natalya start things off with a slap to Natalya’s face. They hit the ropes and Natalya drops to the mat, only to have Liv drop in front of her and wave. It’s off to Logan, who gets beaten up by Banks, followed by Bayley’s sliding dropkick underneath the buckles. Riott offers a distraction though and Logan dropkicks Bayley ribs first into the post. Liv works on an armbar to keep Bayley in trouble and it’s back to Logan to send her into the corner.

Bayley sends her head first into the buckle but Logan pulls Natalya off the apron for a clothesline. A hot shot allows the hot tag off to Banks though and it’s time to clean house. Banks hits the Backstabber into the Bayley to Belly but Liv knocks Sasha into Bayley for the save. It’s back to Liv vs. Banks with Sasha trying a flip dive but getting caught in the apron, allowing the rest of the Squad to slam her into the barricade. Banks is in trouble as the Squad takes turns on her, including something like a Doomsday Device.

Logan goes up for a top rope backsplash but Bayley dives onto Banks to protect her. Bayley gets crushed instead and Banks still gets up at two. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Natalya and it’s time for the double Sharpshooter on Liv and Ruby. Liv makes the save with a Codebreaker for two but Natalya plants her with a powerbomb. Bayley drops a top rope elbow, followed by Banks hitting a frog splash for the pin at 13:40. The rapid blind tags at the end to finish the Squad was a nice touch as that’s been one of their trademarks.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad and could have been a solid Raw match so it’s hard to complain that much. I would have gone with the Squad winning but I can understand giving the popular women a win. The homage to Eddie at the end was fine too as he was a big influence on Banks, who is a big part of the Revolution. This was a good match and an easy way to get a lot of people onto the show.

What Evolution means to Stephanie McMahon, Molly Holly, Alicia Fox and Nia Jax.

We recap Kairi Sane vs. Shayna Baszler, which has been going on for over a year. Sane defeated her in the finals of the first Mae Young Classic but Baszler came back and won the NXT Women’s Title, defeating Sane multiple times on the way to the title. Sane then won the title from her and tonight is the rematch.

NXT Women’s Title: Shayna Baszler vs. Kairi Sane

Sane is defending and we get Big Match Intros. An early takedown surprises Baszler but she avoids a kick to the back and goes for an early Kirifuda Clutch. Sane breaks it up and they head to the floor with Baszler sending her into the steps. Back in and a gutwrench faceplant gets two on the champ and it’s time to start working on the arm. Baszler snaps the arm back ala Pentagon so Sane starts slugging it out for some reason.

A spinning back fist drops Baszler but Sane can’t follow up. Sane cranks on something like a Sharpshooter but the bad arm gives out. A spear cuts Baszler off again and a running shoulder in the corner keeps Baszler in trouble. Baszler throws her to the floor by the arm but Sane is right back with a DDT. The Insane Elbow doesn’t get to launch as Baszler rolls outside, only to have Sane dive down in a good looking high crossbody.

They fight by the barricade where some NXT women are seated and Sane has to fight off some of Baszler’s fellow Four Horsewomen. The distraction is enough for Baszler to grab the Clutch but Sane rolls backwards into a near fall for the break. Another cheap shot lets the Clutch go on again and Sane is out to give Baszler the title back at 12:30.

Rating: B. Well, you knew the Horsewomen were going to become a thing sooner or later. I’m a bit surprised that Baszler got the title back as I would have had her going up to the main roster sooner rather than later. Maybe they form a heel stable down there or something but either way, there’s not much of a point to having her around NXT much longer. It helps that it was the best match of the night too, as these two have very good chemistry together.

What Evolution means to Ember Moon, Ata Johnson (Rock’s mother), Vickie Guerrero and Maryse.

We recap Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch. Charlotte won the Smackdown Women’s Title at Summerslam and Becky wasn’t happy, snapping on her friend and becoming one of the most aggressive women around. She won the title the next month and hasn’t been happy with Charlotte trying to say Becky is going too far. Becky attacked Charlotte at the Performance Center and it’s time to get violent tonight.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is defending and it’s Last Woman Standing. The fans are entirely behind Becky, because WWE still doesn’t get that they love her. Becky takes her down to start for a legdrop, followed by a mocking strut. That doesn’t get much of a count so it’s the Bexploder to send Charlotte into the corner. Charlotte gets tossed outside for a four count so Becky whips out the kendo stick to beat her down again. With that not working, they throw about a dozen chairs inside with Charlotte stopping to grab a table.

Some loud chair shots to the back have Charlotte in trouble and it’s time for more chair shots inside. Charlotte suplexes her onto the pile of chairs for a crash though and they’re both down. Charlotte is up first and throws in a table but Becky Rock Bottoms her onto the chairs. Becky puts her on the table for a change, only to have Charlotte fight up and switch places.

The moonsault barely hits Becky and turns the table over instead of breaking it so Charlotte tries it again, this time with a Swanton to properly break the table. That’s good for a double nine count so let’s bring in a ladder (please, don’t do a draw to set up next month). Charlotte wraps the leg around the ladder and ties it through the rungs for the Figure Eight. Becky taps but then realizes that she has a bunch of chairs next to her and uses one to escape.

Back up and Becky sends her into the ladder and tries to walk out, meaning it’s time to fight in the crowd. Charlotte chops the heck out of her and takes it back to ringside where an announcers’ table is loaded up. Another ladder gets pulled out but Becky hits her with the title. The legdrop off the ladder drives Charlotte through the table for a double nine count, sending Becky into a rage.

Becky buries her under a bunch of announcers’ chairs but Charlotte gets up again. That’s enough for Becky who begs off, allowing Charlotte to unload on her with the kendo stick. It’s time for another table but Charlotte takes too long again, this time getting powerbombed off the middle buckle to the table on the floor to retain Becky’s title at 29:41. They were stretching with “not on her feet” there as she was on her feet with her hands on the ground and some of the staggering was on her feet alone. It wasn’t quite standing, but that was pushing it a bit given how many times people are up at 9.9 and down at 10.

Rating: B+. I really hope that’s the big definitive win as there’s no reason for them to keep going with another one. Lynch is clearly the most popular woman in the company right now and having her win the feud is the right idea. Charlotte needs to get FAR away from Becky right now and move on to getting ready for Rousey at Wrestlemania. I’m not sure who is next for Becky as she’s going to need someone special to challenge her after a run like this.

Crown Jewel rundown.

We recap Ronda Rousey vs. Nikki Bella. For reasons that still aren’t clear, the Bellas were suddenly Rousey’s best friends and then betrayed her a full few weeks after getting together with her in the first place. It turned into the standard “the Divas were important and the Bellas are AMAZING” vs. “you’re not that important” argument while WWE tells us that the Bellas are the most important, empowering women in the world, because WWE doesn’t know what empowering means.

Raw Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki is challenging and Brie Bella has a Bellalution flag. Rousey throws her down to start and lets Nikki get up. She does it again, this time letting the arm go. Rousey does it a third time and tells Nikki that this isn’t hard. Brie offers a distraction though and Nikki posts her to take over. Another distraction lets Brie post her again and we hit the chinlock. Nikki sends Ronda ribs first into the apron and barricade a few times for two. A headscissors lets Nikki do some pushups so Rousey kicks her away.

Brie cheap shots Rousey again though and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Back up and Rousey sends her into the corner but Nikki comes out with a springboard kick to the face. A superplex is broken up but Rousey misses a high crossbody, only to have Nikki miss a baseball slide. The Samoan drop is loaded up so Brie gets on the apron…and is pulled onto Rousey’s shoulders at the same time.

Rousey kicks Nikki in the ribs and unloads with rights and lefts. Nikki begs off in the corner so Rousey slaps her in the face and there’s the toss across the ring. With Nikki down, Ronda throws Brie over the announcers’ table but walks back into an Alabama Slam. The Rack Attack 2.0 gets two so Nikki goes up. That’s rarely a good idea for her so Rousey pulls her down into the armbar for the tap at 14:09.

Rating: C+. While I would have gone with the squash (it’s not like the Bellas are ever going to lose any kind of steam), the match was perfectly fine and didn’t have Nikki doing a bunch of stuff that she could have screwed up. The Brie interference was the logical way to go and while the match was boring at times in the middle, it wasn’t terrible by any means and the ending was the right move.

Rousey takes a long time to leave and Nia Jax is watching from the back. All of the women come out to celebrate with Rousey to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Quite a nice show here, assuming you could get by the constant patting on the back (which was kind of the point of the show). This did feel like a celebration of women in wrestling and nothing was that bad. They even threw in a title change to make it historic, which is an important part of a show like this. It’s nothing I’m ever going to want to watch again but for what it was, I’d call it a success. The women have come such a long way and there’s nothing wrong with giving them a night to themselves.

Results

Lita/Trish Stratus b. Alicia Fox/Mickie James – Chick Kick to James

Nia Jax won a battle royal last eliminating Ember Moon

Toni Storm b. Io Shirai – Storm Zero

Bayley/Sasha Banks/Natalya b. Riott Squad – Frog splash to Morgan

Shayna Baszler b. Kairi Sane – Kirifuda Clutch

Becky Lynch b. Charlotte – Powerbomb through a table

Ronda Rousey b. Nikki Bella – Armbar

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/09/07/new-book-kbs-complete-smackdown-2003-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Judgment Day 2004
Date: May 16, 2004
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 18,722
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

I guess we have to do this one too. It’s one of the worst built shows I’ve seen in a very long time and that’s not surprising given how horrible Smackdown has been in recent weeks. The main event of Eddie Guerrero defending the World Title against John Bradshaw Layfield is going nowhere and it seems that it’s what we’re going to be seeing for a long time going forward. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about how we will all be judged one day, but maybe there is no afterlife and this is all we get to do. But what if there’s something there? Will we meet a callous jury or be welcomed warmly? Even this is a rambling mess.

Rey Mysterio/Rob Van Dam vs. Dudley Boyz

Cole: “Literally in Rey Mysterio’s backyard tonight!” For those unfamiliar, Los Angeles is about 120 miles from San Diego. Rey has a huge backyard. Bubba and Rob start things off with the fans behind Van Dam. A very early distraction lets D-Von get in a cheap shot from behind and he comes in legally just to keep things fair. It’s already back to Bubba for some choking on the ropes but HE HAS UNTIL FIVE.

Rob comes back with some kicks and clotheslines D-Von to the floor. There’s the big flip dive onto Bubba as Rey finally realizes he can do something and dives onto D-Von. We settle down to D-Von and Rob with the latter hitting a stepover spinning kick to the face but Bubba grabs a full nelson. Of course D-Von hits his partner by mistake, because that’s how full nelsons work in tag matches.

Rey still can’t come in and it’s time for the slow motion beating. A legsweep gets Rob out of trouble and it’s off to Rey for the top rope seated senton. The springboard spinning crossbody gets two as Cole says the Dudleys are “bumblebee like”. Another springboard is countered into something like a hot shot and it’s Rey’s turn to be in trouble. A big leg sets up the chinlock, followed by the spinning back elbow to take Rey back down.

The beating continues with D-Von pounding away in the corner but the sitout bulldog gets Rey out of trouble. The hot tag….doesn’t bring Van Dam in though as Bubba comes in a second earlier to distract the referee. One heck of a spinebuster lets Bubba put Rey in the Tree of Woe (Bubba: “He’s a pinata!”).

In a rather unique counter, Rey pulls himself up and hits a cutter, despite still being tied up. That was pretty cool. A moonsault press gets two and that’s enough for the hot tag to Van Dam. Rob’s springboard kick to the face sets up Rolling Thunder for two on D-Von as everything breaks down. Rey hits a middle rope hurricanrana on D-Von to set up a double 619. The Five Star is enough to finish D-Von.

Rating: B-. It’s a bit longer than it needed to be but given that this is one of the only few good matches the card is likely to have, it makes sense to give it so much time. Mysterio and Van Dam have always worked well together, but someone needs to explain the idea of having the Dudleys lose twice if they’re supposed to be top level heels.

Josh Matthews barges into Booker T.’s locker room without even knocking so Booker yells about preparing for Undertaker. He has his own power in the bag and throws Josh out. That….was rather pointless.

Kurt Angle’s lackey Luther Reigns pushes out a big platform and Angle rises up through it to sit above the ring in a cool visual. Angle insults the crowd and the Los Angeles Lakers before moving on to Eddie Guerrero causing his broken leg. When JBL wins the title tonight, Angle is expecting them to riot and hopes a huge earthquake hits the city after he’s gone.

Before we get there though, he wants Torrie Wilson out here right now. Torrie comes out and gets in the ring where Angle yells at her for ruining his career. Therefore, she needs to protect her own career. If she loses tonight, she is FIRED. Oh dear. What ever will we do without her five minutes of screen time a month???

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

They fight into the corner to start with Torrie shoving her off. A Hennig necksnap keeps Dawn in trouble and a horrible sunset flip (you need to get both shoulders down) gets two. Torrie misses a high crossbody and the fans cheer for her….for about five seconds. Some slow motion stomping puts Torrie on the floor and a dropkick to the ribs keeps her out there.

Back in and we hit the chinlock, allowing Torrie to fight up and botch the swinging neckbreaker (you need to grab something, not put a hand on the face). A better sunset flip gets two more and Torrie rolls her up, with Dawn’s gear tearing to the first real reaction of the match. Torrie backslides her for the pin.

Rating: D-. I really, really hope they didn’t have to go home early because of the gear breaking because this was already getting terrible. Trying to get me to care about Torrie being fired isn’t a great course of action as she’s nothing but eye candy and losing her isn’t going to make the show any worse than it already is. Terrible match, because neither of them are wrestlers.

JBL is happy to be here because he’s tired of campaigning all over the country and seeing a bunch of Eddie Guerreros. Nowhere is worse than right here in Los Angeles but there are some good people. Like the ones who wash his car and polish his boots. In his America, everybody speaks English and there aren’t people with eight or nine kids on welfare.

Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Mordecai

This is Mordecai’s debut and he gets the big entrance with the white robe and cross (not a cross, but it’s a cross) staff. Scotty is terrified and his early headlock completely fails. Mordecai sends him into the post and crushes Scotty’s head against the steel. Scotty gets bent around the ropes (almost like a standing camel clutch) and a knee to the head makes it even worse. A superkick staggers Mordecai but he shrugs off the bulldog. Mordecai finishes him with a Razor’s Edge (appropriate) to complete the squash.

Rating: D. The entrance was cool and the finisher is good, but everything in the middle was pretty uninspiring stuff. Mordecai could work if he was better in the ring but there’s only so much you can do when you were boring in a three minute match. There’s potential there, though not enough to overcome the problems he has.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Chavo Classic (with his pants down) are getting ready when Jacqueline comes in with a present. It’s something to make him feel more comfortable on the way to the ring in case he loses to a girl again. And of course it’s women’s underwear as this horrible show continues to be horrible. Ok Chavo Classic looking at it while Jr. yells at her helps a bit.

Tag Team Titles: Rico/Charlie Haas vs. Hardcore Holly/Billy Gunn

Holly and Gunn are challenging. Charlie stalls some more by not being able to walk onto Rico and Jackie’s platform. The challengers aren’t sure who should start so Rico spanks them both at once. That means a trip to the floor as the stalling continues. After a minute of waiting around, we settle down to Charlie vs. Bob. Holly takes him into the corner as the slow pace continues.

A rollup gives Haas two and Holly chills in the corner. An armbar goes on and it’s off to Rico, who rubs Charlie’s chest for the tag. Rico’s antics send Holly over for the tag off to Gunn, meaning it’s time for Rico to dance. Rico licks his hand and tries to rub it on Gunn, sending him sprawling into the corner in…I guess annoyance? A grab of the trunks gets Rico out of a headlock and Holly will have none of the tag attempt.

It’s time to actually get serious with a series of kicks in the corner and Gunn bails to the floor. Haas comes back in as Cole and Tazz crack each other up with sex jokes. Holly gets in a cheap shot from behind to take over and it’s time to talk about the Undertaker. The chinlock goes on as the discussion moves to Jackie being entertaining when she slaps the mat over and over. Holly’s dropkick gets two and Rico demands that they don’t hurt his Charlie.

The kick to the ribs gets two and Holly goes up for the top rope dive that is only designed to dive onto a raised boot. To be fair though, Holly at least leaned forward a bit so it could have almost kind of sort of looked like an elbow instead of landing flat on his feet. Charlie dives over to the hot tag to Rico and house is cleaned in a hurry. The Fameasser connects but Charlie tagged himself in and German suplexes Gunn down. Holly grabs the Alabama Slam but Rico superkicks him down, allowing Haas to get a sunset flip to retain.

Rating: D. Well, at least the finish was good. This was every Rico/Haas match (Of what, four that they’ve had?) and that’s not a positive. It was the same jokes over and over again with nothing interesting or entertaining, save for Jackie as usual. You couldn’t have the Bashams in this spot instead? At least they’re a regular team.

Paul Bearer and Undertaker aren’t worried about Booker T. having the voodoo bag of death. Undertaker even acknowledging that feels so beneath him.

We recap Chavo Guerrero vs. Jacqueline, with Chavo trying to get the title back after she upset him a few weeks back. This is one of the dumbest stories of the night, and that’s a bad sign on a show of so many dumb stories.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jacqueline

Chavo is challenging and has an arm tied behind his back. Jacqueline gets sent into the corner and kneed in the ribs as Chavo is already getting in more offense than he had in the first match. Some one armed backbreakers keep Jacqueline down but she comes back with a headscissors and Chavo walks himself shoulder first into the post. Jacqueline’s sleeper is broken up with a ram into the corner but she kicks him down for two.

Chavo Classic gets knocked off the apron and the distraction lets Jr. get in a clothesline. The low blow gives Jacqueline two and it’s time to head outside, where Classic unties the arm. Back in and another distraction lets Jr. block a right hand and hit a hard clothesline. Classic picks up a bunch of stuff for more distracting and it’s the Gory Bomb to give Jr. the title back.

Rating: F. I hated this for so many reasons that I can’t even cut the list down to something reasonable. If this is the best you can have for a title, just get rid of the thing. I know that’s what they probably want to do, but Jacqueline is not the best you can do. Jacqueline isn’t an interesting wrestler and why they decided to put her together in a “HAHA YOU LOST TO A GIRL” story is beyond me. It would have been almost as stupid, but if this is the general way you want to go, put the title on Rico and find some different Tag Team Champions. At least the promos would have been better. Horrible stuff and let’s move on.

Post match Chavo blames everyone else for laughing at him and says no one can laugh at him again. Classic gets in a cheap shot on Jacqueline before leaving. Now PLEASE never let this be talked about again.

We recap the US Title match. Rene Dupree is an obnoxious French guy who hates America and John Cena is standing up for the country. Rene isn’t ready for this spot but he’s trying, and I can take that over so much of the other slapped together show.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rene Dupree

Cena is defending and his rap is a simple one about beating Dupree and sending him back to France. Some early right hands put Dupree on the floor and Cena comes back in with a Thesz press of all things. Back up and Dupree hits a rather fast boot to the face out of the corner to little effect.

Cena is right back with a backdrop and a hard clothesline puts Dupree outside again. Dupree is in a little better shape this time as he pulls Cena shoulder first into the post to take over for the first time. Back in and a low bridge sends a diving Cena (!) sailing right back to the floor. A backbreaker gives Dupree two and it’s off to a bearhug. Cena finally jawbreaks his way to freedom and starts the comeback but the Shuffle takes too long (gee I’m stunned) and Dupree scores with a spinebuster.

The French dance takes way too long as well but Cena can’t follow up. Dupree can’t hit the Michinoku Driver but Cena’s can’t hit the FU either. Instead Dupree grabs a neckbreaker for a delayed two and it’s time for the exchange of rollups. That goes nowhere so Dupree tries to jump over Cena in the corner, only to get caught in the FU to retain the title.

Rating: C+. That’s the second fine match of the night as they were putting in the effort and there was a perfectly acceptable story being told. It’s nothing that really needed to be on pay per view, but it’s better than nothing, which is more than you can say for almost anything else on the show so far. Imagine that: Cena being one of the few bright spots.

Post match Cena gives a fan his Lakers jersey in a nice touch.

Kenzo Suzuki is coming. Egads no.

We recap Booker T. vs. the Undertaker. Booker showed up in the Draft and started talking about how much better he was than everyone else, including the Undertaker. A bunch of lightning and thunder followed, so Booker went to a voodoo woman and has a hex bag that is supposed to even things out. Yeah it’s really stupid and I doubt it’s going to help the show.

Booker T. vs. Undertaker

The announcers keep calling this a rare appearance by the Undertaker. I’m really not sure why, but then again I’m not sure why Cole and Tazz say a lot of things they say. Booker takes him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. A shove down is enough for Booker at the moment as he heads outside and rubs something from the bag on his chest, which just gets his arm cranked on back inside.

Undertaker side slams him down and gets two off a legdrop before clotheslining Booker right back to the floor. As tends to happen to him a lot, Undertaker gets his throat snapped across the top, allowing Booker to come back in with a missile dropkick. Booker rubs some more stuff on his chest and gets caught with the jumping clothesline. Old School connects but Booker slips out of the Last Ride and bumps the referee.

The distraction lets Booker throw the dirt from the bag in Undertaker’s eyes….which just ticks him off. The running big boot misses in the corner though and Booker starts stomping on the knee. Booker wraps the leg around the post to keep Undertaker down and a dropkick gets two. The ax kick connects for the same so it’s time for Undertaker to pop up with the chokeslam and Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads they really can’t get anything going with this show. Another bad match as the hex bag went nowhere as Undertaker didn’t even sell the dirt in his eyes. Other than that, this was a little working on Undertaker’s knee before he popped back up and won anyway. I have no idea why you would bring Booker to Smackdown just to put Undertaker over in his first big match, especially when the show is so starved for effectual heels. It didn’t make sense at the time and it still doesn’t now.

We recap JBL vs. Eddie Guerrero. JBL is a rich guy from New York and wants to get rid of someone deplorable like Eddie. In other words, it’s at least half racist and more than half awful as JBL is really bad at what he’s doing. Then JBL caused Eddie’s mom to have a heart attack, which he blamed Eddie for and which we had to see about five times in a week. Let’s get this over with.

Smackdown World Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Eddie is defending. Before we’re ready to go, JBL talks about how he’s going to say this in English so half the people here will need translators. After he wins the title, Eddie’s mother can come to New York and be his maid. Eddie gets aggressive to start and knocks him outside for a whip into the steps. JBL gets tossed over the announcers’ table and it’s time to head back inside for some shouting and punching.

It’s too early for JBL to walk out so Eddie chases him down and hammers away some more. Back in and Eddie walks on his face but makes the mistake of going outside again, allowing JBL to whip him into the steps. JBL keeps up the awesome wrestling with a big boot and a headlock as things slow down to a snail’s pace. Another headlock takeover keeps things slow but some armdrags put JBL on the floor.

The dive is caught for a fall away slam though and the champ is down again. A backdrop puts Eddie onto the announcers’ table in a good looking crash. Back in and they slug it out until JBL grabs a bearhug, which is the worst thing this match can do. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Eddie slips out and hits Three Amigos. The referee gets bumped though and Eddie backdrops JBL to the floor.

Another whip over the announcers’ table lets JBL grab a chair and cave Eddie’s head in, drawing one of the deepest, most disturbing cuts I’ve ever seen. You can see the blood literally flowing out of his head and streaming down his chest over and over. A steps show to the head makes it even worse and the Clothesline From JBL is good for no cover because referees are made of paper around here. The second referee comes in for two as there is blood EVERYWHERE.

The replacement referee takes a Clothesline of his own and a powerbomb gives JBL two with the first referee counting. JBL slaps on a sleeper but Eddie fights up and starts the dancing. The fall away slam is countered into a DDT and they’re both down. Eddie is up first but the blood loss means the frog splash takes way too long and they’re down again. JBL grabs the title and a chair but Eddie kicks him low and hits him with the belt for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The story worked, the blood REALLY worked, and Eddie was trying, but there’s only so much you can do with someone like Bradshaw as your opponent. The headlock didn’t do this any favors and the idea of having to watch this match again made my head hurt. You can only do so much to get beyond a horrible build and bad character work from the heel and Eddie wasn’t able to get over the mountain.

Post match Eddie stays on him and shoves some referees away. A chair to JBL’s head draws some blood as well and Eddie does it again for fun. Eddie drops a frog splash and JBL bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. The two good matches are nowhere near enough to save this show as they’re only so good. The problem here continues to be the lame villains, as there’s no way around people I don’t care about. JBL is a terrible top villain, the second villains are the Dudley Boyz who haven’t won a tag match in a long time, and then you have Booker T. who is running around like a comedy goof. Who in there is supposed to be intimidating?

Nothing on this show got me interested or excited in the slightest and that just shouldn’t happen on a pay per view. The wrestling can be passable at times but they have to work on the stories and characters. Those are the far more important parts of the show and neither of them is going anywhere at all. Just get something interesting in there because what we have at the moment is making me long for a twenty minute HHH promo to perk things up a bit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2003 Smackdown Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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