Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

For those of you who have read my old reviews of this show, you might remember that the main event has sent me into various rantings and ravings over the years. It might have ticked me off more than any match ever at one point, though it’s since been topped multiple times. I’m kind of curious to see how I react to it this time around so let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on Big Show vs. Lesnar, which is built around the idea that Lesnar is banged up and can’t throw Big Show around like he can with everyone else. The Elimination Chamber actually takes second billing here.

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Elimination tables match and that would still be Bubba and Spike. The villains are quickly sent outside with Spike being thrown at the Samoans. He’s easily caught and 3 Minute Warning is nice enough to stand there while Bubba drops down for Poetry in Motion from Jeff. Back in and Jamal takes a hurricanrana out of the corner, followed by Jeff playing D-Von in What’s Up.

The first table is set up in the corner and Jeff is backdropped over the top for one heck of a crash. Rosey drives himself through a table (not an elimination) but stands up, allowing Jeff to hit a high crossbody….which just bounces off the big man. The Dudley Dog is countered and Spike is tossed through a table for the first elimination. Bubba and Jeff fight back but can’t get around the monsters.

Rosey takes Jeff outside and loads up a table but Bubba makes the save. A few forearms to the back allow Jeff to climb onto an exit tunnel for the Swanton to get rid of Rosey. Back in and Rico loads Bubba onto a table before setting up a moonsault. In a fairly infamous moment, there’s no Jeff to make the save so Rico stands there for about ten seconds and even Bubba can be seen looking around for Jeff. Rico very clearly shouts “COME ON JEFF” before Hardy crotches him for the save.

Jamal moves the table so Rico only has to take a regular belly to back superplex. That’s so much better you see. Jeff takes Jamal to the floor and tries to run the barricade (as in he climbs onto it and then runs instead of a running jump and then running across) but falls anyway, sending himself head first through a table. That would be twice in a week that he’s blown that spot and for some reason I don’t picture him being punished anytime soon. Thankfully Jamal hits one heck of a top rope splash to put Jeff through a table to get us down to 2-1.

Ever the genius, Jamal tries a hurricanrana with a table right behind him. After the most obvious powerbomb this side of an Undertaker match, we’re down to Bubba vs. Rico. 3 Minute Warning comes back in to beat on Bubba but D-Von comes out to FINALLY reunite with his brother to one heck of a reaction. A quick 3D puts Rico through a table for the win.

Rating: C+. They really didn’t have another option here as the Dudleys belong together. It would take about twelve years before Bubba was able to strike out on his own and even that only kind of worked. The tag division is dying for some better talent and while not the freshest thing in the world, the Dudleys are certainly better than most other options.

The rest of the match was entertaining but my goodness Jeff was embarrassing out there. He can barely do any of his signature stuff without messing something up anymore and yet he’s still out there every single week doing the same spots over and over. Get him some help already before this becomes an even bigger problem than it already is.

Stacy Keibler introduces Saliva to perform Always live at the World. At least we get some highlights for the show as a bonus.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging after defeating Noble twice in the last two weeks. Noble tries a rollup for the fast pin before stomping Kidman down to really take over. A neckbreaker sets up a bow and arrow as Nidia is her usual VERY excited self. Jamie dives into a dropkick as the announcers talk about the tables match. A Hoshi Geroshi (or however you spell the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker) gets two on the champ, followed by a good looking placha to the floor.

Back in and Noble reverses a backslide into the tiger bomb for two but makes the mistake of putting Kidman on the top. A good looking super DDT plants Noble but since DDTs mean nothing, Jamie is right back up for a hanging DDT off the top for his own near fall. An enziguri drops Noble again and, after a failed Nidia distraction, the shooting star gives us a new champion.

Rating: C+. Some selling issues aside, this was a good, back and forth match with both guys looking strong. The problem is the division has fallen into the same pattern it always has: the champion and one challenger comprise the entire thing and that doesn’t exactly have staying power. The match was good though and Kidman winning the title is fine.

Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit get into it again but Angle insists that they’re amigos. Another long form hug ensues.

Victoria is getting ready but apparently her mirror thinks Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria vs. Trish. Victoria claims that Trish slept her way into a job after WWE wanted to sign both of them. Now Victoria is here to get revenge on her former friend. The music sounds like the shower scene from Psycho for a nice touch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Trish is defending and this is a hardcore match. Victoria wastes no time and puller her down by the coat before grabbing a broom. JR asks if she’s going to fly it and suggests Victoria is un-Divaesque. That’s probably an unintentional compliment. A trashcan lid gets knocked into the champ’s face and Victoria sends her into the steps. Victoria sets up a trashcan in the corner (with the hole facing the ring), only to have Trish catapult her hands first into said can (that looked horrible and no camera edit was going to save it).

A kick to the head gives Trish two and one heck of a trashcan lid shot knocks Victoria (and her bloody nose) to the floor. The Chick Kick gets two and a HORRIBLE bulldog out of the corner (Victoria’s head hit Trish’s ribs) is good for the same. Victoria blinds her with a fire extinguisher though and a snap suplex of all things gives us a new champion.

Rating: B-. Botches aside, this is a situation where the energy carries the match. They were beating the heck out of each other and you could feel the intensity. The botches and the ending really hold it down but it’s still one of the best women’s matches you’ll see around this time. I know there are still some major issues with the women of this era but this was miles ahead of most things you would see from them at this time.

Eric Bischoff is bragging about the Chamber when Big Show comes up. He’s going to prove Eric wrong for trading him.

Paul Heyman is nervous but says Brock needs to put it all behind him. Tonight they’re in MSG and Heyman is going to do whatever it takes to make sure his client leaves as champion.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is defending and the fans are entirely behind him. Brock gets right in his face but gets tossed into the corner. That earns show a double leg takedown and there’s a belly to back suplex on Show. A German suplex follows and Heyman looks nervous. The ref gets bumped but Lesnar belly to bellies Show anyway. Heyman slides in a chair and Brock cracks Show in the head with it, setting up the F5. Another referee comes down but Heyman pulls him out at two. Reality sets in as the chase is on but Show chairs Lesnar in the bad ribs. A chokeslam onto the chair gives Lesnar his first pinfall loss.

Rating: C-. They did everything they could here and thankfully it was really short. Aside from the obvious, I still have a major problem with the story: why did Heyman go through with the screwjob? Lesnar proved him wrong by suplexing and F5ing Big Show but Heyman turned on him anyway. Wouldn’t it make more sense to stick with the more dominant force when you still have Lesnar to protect you? I’d assume it’s because of Heyman and Lesnar’s issues but Heyman has been able to talk Lesnar down before. It’s far from the worst stretch ever but I’m still not sure it makes the most sense.

Heyman and Show run to the parking lot and drive away.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. All three teams have traded the titles for over a month now with one classic match after another. The only possible option was a triple threat match and Stephanie McMahon has made it an elimination match for even more fun. This is the real Smackdown main event and they’ve certainly earned that honor with everything they’ve done so far.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle vs. Los Guerreros vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Edge and Mysterio are defending and Angle/Benoit still can’t get along. Benoit and Mysterio start things off with Chris going head first into the buckle. Edge, in some shiny tights, comes in to drop Angle with a forearm. It’s back to Rey for a springboard splash on Chavo as they’re tagging very quickly here. Eddie comes in to a very noticeable pop and keeps Rey in trouble with some forearms to the back.

The fast tags continue as Angle comes in and goes shoulder first into the post. He’s still able to knock Rey off the top though and the champs stay in trouble. Benoit stays on Mysterio with some rapid fire suplexes as Los Guerreros are (wisely) content with staying on the floor. The Angle Slam doesn’t work so Kurt clotheslines Rey’s head off for two instead. We hit a long front facelock until Rey fights up for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. That’s enough for the hot tag to Edge as everything breaks down.

Rey hurricanranas Eddie to the floor, leaving Edge to get caught in an ankle lock/Crossface combination. Somehow he doesn’t tap out immediately so it’s Rey making the save, followed by a running corkscrew dive onto Chavo and Angle. Benoit grabs the German suplex on Edge, only to have Eddie come in off the top with a sunset flip to send both guys flying. Everyone gets up so Benoit sends Eddie outside, followed by the rolling German suplexes on Edge. Those things always look great.

Eddie gives Edge the frog splash but Benoit breaks it up with a Swan Dive for no apparent reason. Angle comes back in with the ankle lock on Eddie while Benoit Crossfaces Edge, only to have Chavo save Edge with the title. Kurt picks up the title so Benoit thinks it was him, leaving Edge to spear Benoit for the first elimination. That leaves us with two but Benoit and Angle wreck everyone before heading to the back. What poor sportsmanship.

We settle down to Eddie grabbing a sleeper on Edge, followed by a front facelock in case that’s too intense for you. Edge flapjacks both Guerreros and brings Rey back in as this isn’t exactly the break neck pace you would expect. Everything breaks down again and the pop up hurricanrana gets two on Eddie. That would look to set up the West Coast Pop but Chavo gets in a belt shot, knocking Rey into the Lasso From El Paso for the submission and the titles.

Rating: B. This wasn’t as good as I remember but I think that’s because I just recently watched all the TV matches, which were almost all better. This had too much to live up to and there’s only so much you can do when you’re asked to go out and have a masterpiece. The belt shots didn’t do much to help either as they’re hardly anything interesting and you expect more from these guys.

It’s still a good match and the best thing on the show by far though and it deserves a bit more than just criticism. Some of the sequences were excellent and showed some creativity, along with Benoit and Angle suplexing everything in sight. If this was one of the matches that took place on TV, it would be considered a classic. Some more time would have helped as well.

Here’s Christopher Nowinski to say he’s smarter than the rest of the crowd. After some lame New York Yankees jokes, Matt Hardy (who keeps the temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks low fat chocolate milk) comes out to say this place is sucking the Mattitude out of him. The payoff is Scott Steiner, who shows up and destroys both guys because we haven’t seen Matt get beaten up recently.

Shawn Michaels is ready to talk about why he believes he can win but RNN BREAKING NEWS tells us that Randy came here to watch. Luckily a sexy flight attendant gave him an extra pillow so there was no further damage to his shoulder.

Long video on the Elimination Chamber which doesn’t really tell us anything. Granted that’s because there isn’t a story here. Basically Bischoff wanted to top Stephanie’s pay per view and invented the Chamber. They’ve made no secret of the fact that this is ALL about HHH vs. Shawn Michaels.

HHH says he’s gone through everyone so he’ll go through everyone tonight too.

Bischoff comes out to walk through the Chamber and explain the rules. This time really couldn’t have gone to the Tag Team Title match? Just put it on a graphic or something…..which they do while Bischoff is still talking.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Rob Van Dam

HHH is defending. Saliva, at the World, plays Jericho’s music for a cool bit. As the entrances go on forever, it occurs to me how much Shawn’s hair looks like AJ Styles’ soccer mom look. HHH and Van Dam start things off with Rob going straight to the kicks. A backdrop puts HHH onto the steel floor and he hits the cage wall three times in a row. The champ is busted open and Van Dam monkey flips him onto the cage again.

Rolling Thunder over the top makes things even worse as it’s all Van Dam so far. Rob climbs up on top of Jericho’s chamber and gets his legs pulled down into it. Somehow that’s still not enough for HHH to do anything as Rob flips down onto HHH. See? He’s giving Van Dam a rub right now!

Jericho is in third but gets kicked down almost immediately as Rob stays on a roll. In your first ever Chamber highlight reel moment, Jericho catapults Van Dam at the cage wall and Rob just hangs onto it instead of crashing. HHH gets back up and knees Van Dam in the head, meaning it’s time for the double teaming to begin. Rob kicks them both down again and it’s Booker T in fourth to even things up, despite Van Dam doing just fine on his own.

Jericho and HHH are sent to the floor so we can get a Spinarooni, followed by a slugout with Van Dam. The good guys clean house again and it’s HHH getting knocked down, allowing Rob to climb an individual chamber. That means a Five Star, with his knee going right into HHH’s throat which put him out of action for a few weeks. Van Dam seems to have hurt his knee as well, allowing Booker to eliminate him with a missile dropkick. HHH can barely move so here’s Kane to get us back to four.

Jericho is launched through the bulletproof (yes bulletproof) glass to draw some more blood. Chris is fine enough to hit Booker low, followed by a chokeslam and the Lionsault to get rid of Booker. Now that the two guys who have been more over than the entire roster for the last three months are gone, let’s get on with the REAL entertainment.

Jericho and Kane slowly fight until HHH is slammed off the top. Shawn, looking like he’s wrestled one match in four and a half years and in hideous brown tights for some reason, comes in and gets to clean house for a bit. Kane chokeslams everyone but eats a superkick, Pedigree and Lionsault to get us down to three. Jericho and HHH team up on Shawn with HHH rubbing his head against the steel to bust Shawn open. A ram into the wall gives Shawn an opening and he forearms HHH, only to get bulldogged down.

The Lionsault gets two and Jericho is so frustrated that he gets caught in the Walls. HHH makes the save with a DDT but gets in a fight with Jericho over who can pin Shawn. Jericho grabs the Walls on HHH but gets superkicked for the elimination. As anyone paying attention expected, we’re down to HHH vs. Shawn with a spinebuster going straight for the bad back.

Shawn gets thrown through the glass as we really crank up the emotions. The slow beating continues with Shawn being thrown outside again, only to catapult HHH into the wall. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets no cover and HHH grabs the Pedigree for a delayed two. Another Pedigree attempt is countered and Sweet Chin Music gives Shawn the pin and the title.

Rating: B. I’m still not sure what to think of this match. Above all else, it’s long, far longer than it needed to be. The Chamber itself did help and was interesting to see but they need to tweak things a bit (lower the time to four minutes or so). It’s still good but there’s the other problem that it’s kind of hard to overcome: the whole thing felt like a big waste of time until we got to the ending.

That ending of course is Shawn vs. HHH and they might as well have just put up a big clock counting down until we got there. No one else mattered in this match and WWE did nothing to hide it. That makes for an ending similar to Wrestlemania XXXII with Roman Reigns vs. HHH: there’s no drama and it makes for a boring match because you’re just waiting to get to the part that matters.

While I still have issues about guys like Booker, Kane, Van Dam and Jericho being treated as second class citizens so HHH and Shawn can do it one more time (as in the second one more time), it’s not as bad as it once was. After watching the TV shows building up to this, it’s not like this was exactly shocking and the four of them were hardly made to look like real threats to take the title. That doesn’t make it any better but it does make things a bit easier to take.

Overall Rating: C+. This show is pretty much all over the place with good action (there really isn’t a bad match on the card) but sweet goodness some of the choices make your head spin. We really are watching a show in 2002 where Big Show and Shawn Michaels walked out with the World Titles. On top of that we had a less than mind blowing Tag Team Title match which was probably the highlight.

The big problem is that aside from the Chamber itself debuting, there really isn’t anything on here that feels big. Big Show winning was more groan inducing than anything else and Shawn winning felt like we were seeing the inevitable, though the celebration felt big. There’s nothing on here that’s going to really stick with you and that’s not good as the show is worth seeing for the action alone. Overall it’s good but really not remarkable, which is kind of an odd way to compliment a show.

 

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: C+

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-

2012 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B

2012 Redo: B+

2017 Redo: B

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B

2012 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2012 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: C+

I must have been in a REALLY bad mood when I watched the main event for the second time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/20/survivor-series-2002-the-longest-rant-about-anything-ive-ever-done/

And the 2012 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/11/10/survivor-series-count-up-2002/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

 

Tables Ladders and Chairs 2017
Date: October 22, 2017
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

Now this one has my attention as the card has almost been thrown out the window due to a string of medical issues. AJ Styles is replacing Bray Wyatt to face Finn Balor, but in a bigger story it’s Kurt Angle’s first WWE match in over eleven years as he replaces Roman Reigns in the show’s namesake match. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Alicia Fox vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from Raw. Fox bails to the floor to start before taking her down and grabbing a way too early chinlock. Sasha fights up and knocks Alicia outside and we take a break without much having happened so far. Back with Fox messing with Banks’ hair and shoving her off the top in a heap. Alicia pulls at her hair a bit and it’s mostly one sided so far. Back in and Fox slams Sasha right back to the floor but there’s no immediate count. Fox to the fans: “EVERYBODY HELP THE REFEREE DO HIS JOB!”

A backbreaker gives Fox two and Booker compares her to the Missing Link of all people. Sasha kicks her to the floor without much effort and a headscissors takes Fox down back inside. Another backbreaker has Banks in trouble but only for two, meaning Fox screeches a lot. Not that it matters as the ax kick misses and it’s the Bank Statement makes Fox tap at 10:12.

Rating: D+. So we had a short match on Monday and now a longer match tonight. I still have no reason to believe that Fox is in Banks’ league and it’s kind of a waste of time to make this work at all. Fox isn’t going to beat Banks anytime in a competitive match but the fans went nuts for Sasha’s entrance, which is the point here.

The opening video looks at all of the changes to the card with a focus on Angle, as you would probably expect. The rest of the card gets a shorter look.

Emma vs. Asuka

Asuka is making her main roster debut and the fans are VERY excited for her entrance. An early cross armbreaker has Emma in early trouble and the hip attack puts her down again. Asuka can’t get the ankle lock and Emma kicks her down for two, meaning it’s time for the confidence to start. A hard shot to the back gives Emma two more and the fans are all behind Asuka.

Emma slaps on a seated full nelson but makes the mistake of slapping her in the face. That earns Emma a sliding knee to the face, only to have Emma hit a sliding kick of her own for two. It’s time for the pain though as Asuka snaps off a German suplex, only to have Emma head outside and pull Asuka outside by the hair. Not that it really matters as Asuka kicks her in the head and slaps on the Asuka Lock for the tap out at 9:21.

Rating: B-. That’s the most obvious ending of the whole match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Asuka was a killer here and, despite Emma getting in more offense than I was expecting, she looks like someone who is going to be a star for a long time. Now if only I could believe that WWE won’t manage to screw her up.

Miz gives the Bar a pep talk until Strowman comes in to yell at them. Kane comes in as well and promises to turn the main event into a nightmare.

Here’s Elias to talk about how awesome he is and play a little song. As he’s playing though, vegetables are thrown into the ring by….Jason Jordan. This goes nowhere and is as fillerish as you can get.

Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick vs. Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann

Kendrick has turned Gallagher evil and they targeted Alexander. Swann came in to help out his buddy. Cedric and Gallagher start things off but it’s already off to Swann to speed things up (not the worst idea when you need a shot of adrenaline) with his flips. Jack is sent outside where he trips Cedric, only to be taken down by a Swann flip dive from the apron. Cedric isn’t about to be outdone and hits a flip dive of his own over the top.

Back in and Kendrick cravates Swann to slow things down and Rich is sent head first into the buckle. Swann escapes a belly to back and brings Cedric in off the hot tag. Cedric cleans house, including a spinning kick to Gallagher’s head. Kendrick takes him outside and scores with a northern lights suplex, to put Cedric in trouble. Back in and the Captain’s Hook is broken up as Swann drops a Phoenix splash. The Lumbar Check ends Kendrick at 7:57.

Rating: C+. It was fun, but this was something you could see on almost any given episode of 205 Live. They flipped around and did their thing for about eight minutes but that doesn’t make it anything too fancy. The story is standard and that’s really all there is to say about it. It’s not going to help 205 Live that much but these guys deserve a little spotlight.

Alexa Bliss thinks Mickie James is only mad at her over the age jokes, but the truth is that Bliss idolized Mickie growing up. Mickie has gone toe to toe with Hall of Famers, but after tonight the good old days will just be old.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James

James is challenging and headlocks Bliss to start, much to the champ’s annoyance. Bliss pulls the hair to escape a few times before snapping Mickie’s arm across the top rope. That means it’s time to rip at the arm and slap on an armbar for good measure. You can feel Bliss’ confidence here, which is exactly how this story should go. A near fall only frustrates Bliss more and Mickie fights out of the corner with a good looking hurricanrana.

They slap it out until a forearm from Bliss and a high kick from Mickie connect at the same time. It’s Mickie getting the better of it and hitting some running forearms. Bliss goes to the arm again but Mickie slugs her down and nips up. Mickie gets crotches on top but Twisted Bliss only hits mat. A bad looking missile dropkick gives Mickie two but Bliss seems to be hurt. Mickie goes for it of course and gets pulled shoulder first into the corner. Bliss adds the DDT to retain at 11:30.

Rating: B. I liked this one more than the opener and I’m only somewhat surprised by that. Bliss is getting better in the ring and she’s getting that DDT over as a finisher. Of course I can’t imagine her holding the title by the end of the Royal Rumble as Asuka should win the belt in the near future but we can enjoy Bliss while she lasts.

Post match Mickie says she’s disappointed but she’ll be back. We get a thank you to the fans and Mickie is out.

Angle is getting ready in the back when Ambrose and Rollins come in. They’re ready for the match but have a gift for Angle: his own riot squad gear. Angle says he’s in all the way.

Here’s Elias to try his song again but one more time he’s delayed by Jordan throwing vegetables, this time from a shopping cart. Even Graves mentions that we’re filling time.

We recap Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto. Enzo won the Cruiserweight Title last month but Kalisto won it in a big surprise. That wasn’t cool with Amore, who said that he was the only real star in the division. Tonight is the rematch.

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto

Kalisto is defending. Before the match, Enzo, with a hoarse voice, does his usual shtick and says he’s not going to be one of those people who stands around while everyone else gets whatever they want. Enzo bails into the corner to start and the chase is on with Kalisto grabbing a headscissors for his first big offense. Another spin sends Enzo bailing to the floor and we hit the stall button. Back in and Enzo sends him head first into the top turnbuckle to take over for the first time.

A hard kick to the ribs keeps Kalisto down and there’s the baseball punch for two. We hit the chinlock with Enzo grabbing the mask to pull Kalisto right back down. Kalisto finally fights back up and sends him hard into the corner, followed by a springboard seated senton. Enzo gets two off a middle rope DDT but the Jordunzo is broken up. Not that it matters as Enzo pokes him in the eye and hits the Jordunzo for the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D+. Well duh. This was only slightly less obvious than Asuka winning as they were just trying to make Enzo sweat a bit before becoming a two time champion. Hopefully they can have other people get title shots now but otherwise, we could be in for some stretchy booking to keep him defending the title. Enzo remains a necessary evil, but that doesn’t make him any easier to sit through.

Post match Enzo thanks himself.

The announcers give all the preview they can for AJ Styles vs. Finn Balor. There’s no story here but they had to give us a huge match with so many last minute changes. For once, this actually lives up to the term Dream Match and that’s a nice change of pace.

Finn Balor vs. AJ Styles

Balor is the Demon and the fans are split here. A lockup goes nowhere so they trade shoulders for no advantage either. They try a technical sequence and it’s a standoff as the fans are very pleased. Balor goes to the apron and scores with a kick to the head, setting up a kind of awkward sequence where Balor didn’t seem to realize that AJ was on his stomach and tried to cover.

It’s a surfboard instead though with Balor starting in on the leg. Back up and AJ catches him with a hard forearm, followed by a slingshot Phenomenal Forearm for two. The fans are split as Balor comes back with a series of shots in the corner, including a hard shot to knock AJ off the top and to the floor. That means a big flip dive, which the fans think is awesome. Back in and Balor scores with the Sling Blade but AJ grabs the fireman’s carry backbreaker to cut him off.

The Styles Clash is broken up so it’s a belly to back faceplant to give AJ two of his own. Now it’s Balor back up and stomping away in the corner, followed by a running kick to the face. That just earns Balor the Calf Crusher until he has to grab AJ’s head and slam it into the mat for the break. The Phenomenal Forearm is loaded up again but this time it’s Balor shoving him off the top for a big crash to the floor.

Balor follows him up with a running dropkick to send AJ into the barricade, only to have AJ drive him over the announcers’ table. They dive back in at nine and stereo crossbodies put them both down. The Phenomenal Blitz staggers Balor but he’s right back with the Pele to give us another standoff. A reverse implant DDT takes AJ down but a Pele cuts off the Coup de Grace. AJ isn’t about to be outdone so it’s a super springboard hurricanrana. He misses the springboard 450 though and the shotgun dropkick puts AJ in the corner. The Coup de Grace ends AJ at 17:54.

Rating: B+. This was the only option they had with all the changes. WWE had to deliver something special and that’s what they did with something that actually lived up to the dream match moniker. Balor winning was the right call as there’s no point in not giving the Raw guy a rub on the Raw show. It’s also a very good match with both guys looking like stars the whole way through. WWE did what they could here and that’s very nice to see for a change.

They shake hands post match and we get the TOO SWEET that will be talked about to a completely unnecessary degree.

Elias is out here a third time and this time he’s in the ring. At least there’s a match this time around.

Jason Jordan vs. Elias

Bonus match. Jordan wastes no time in powering Elias down to the mat so Elias shoves him in the face. Elias bails to the floor for a breather, followed by a headlock back inside. Something like a powerslam takes Elias down but Jordan gets sent hard into the post. Elias grabs a seated abdominal stretch as Booker changes his mind on Elias in the span of a minute. A regular abdominal stretch keeps Jordan in trouble until he powers Elias into the corner.

There’s the belly to belly and a swinging Saito suplex gets two more. Jordan can’t hit the belly to belly superplex so Elias slams him into the corner instead. Elias tries a suplex but gets reversed into a small package. Jordan lets him go at two but the referee counts the pin anyway at 9:54. It looked like Elias’ shoulder was up and Booker is borderline livid.

Rating: D. Standard Raw match here but they had to fill in the time with something. Jordan winning that way seems to set up another match down the line (by which I mean tomorrow night) but at least they seem to be pushing someone. Now of course watch them have Elias win the rematch and make this a big waste of time.

Quick video on Angle’s career, followed by a recap of the main event. The Shield members were dealing with Miz and company and decided there was strength in numbers. Ambrose made the mistake of saying the team could face three, four or five men so Miz took him up on it. Then Reigns got sick so Angle is taking his place.

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins/Kurt Angle vs. Miz/Braun Strowman/Kane/The Bar

Tables, ladders and chairs but you win by pinfall or submission. Angle is in Shield gear for a nice touch and it’s Rollins diving on the pile, allowing his partners to grab some chairs and take over to start. Strowman gets chaired down and Kane gets the same treatment, allowing Ambrose and Rollins to hit stereo dives. Sheamus and Cesaro remember that they’re in the match and save Kane from going through the announcers’ table.

The Shield guys take over again though and Kane is set on the table, only to have Strowman fight back. Rollins saves Kurt from going through a table and Strowman is chaired down again. It’s double ladder time with Strowman and Kane being laid on the tables, setting up a splash and elbow drop for the first big spot of the match. With everyone else down, Angle throws Miz back inside but gets met by Cesaro and Sheamus. Ambrose and Rollins get back in to break up the TripleBomb, leaving Angle to roll some German suplexes on Miz.

Cesaro and Sheamus take one each as Angle is all fired up. Speaking of fire being up, Kane sits up but gets taken right back down with an ankle lock. Strowman makes the save and it’s a running powerslam through a table to knock Kurt silly. The villains come back with chair shots and it’s Angle being taken to the back by medics, only to fall to his knees in the aisle. Booker actually rants about how selfish Angle was as Rollins is thrown head first into a chair in the corner.

The beating continues for a good while as the fans want Lesnar. Ambrose and Rollins try to fight back and Kane accidentally chairs Strowman. For some reason the Shield guys break it up, which is enough to end the brawl. It’s table time but the double Razor’s Edge sends Ambrose bouncing off the table in a SICK crash. Miz has the Bar take Rollins up the ramp and it’s a garbage truck backing into the arena. Ambrose and Rollins fight out of the truck though and hit dives onto everyone but Miz in the big hope spot.

Kane gets beaten down but Strowman is back up to stop a suplex through a table. For some reason Kane slugs away at Strowman, setting up a chokeslam through the stage. Strowman is still getting up so Kane grabs the chairs hanging from the ceiling and pulls about eight of them down, burying Strowman on the floor. Kane isn’t done yet and chokeslams Ambrose and Rollins onto tables (neither breaks AGAIN). The Bar helps carry them to the truck…and Strowman is up.

Miz begs him to stop but Strowman takes out all of his partners, setting up the fight with Kane. Everyone gets together and Strowman is thrown into the truck, which turns on. Rollins is thrown back into the ring and it’s Miz/the Bar doing the Shield entrance. A springboard assisted White Noise plants Seth but Dean makes the diving save at two. Kane calls for a chokeslam….and here’s Angle back again.

The Bar takes Angle Slams on the floor but Kane takes him down with a clothesline. Ambrose and Rollins come back in with chairs before driving Kane through the barricade. The Skull Crushing Finale takes Angle down from behind for a heck of a near fall. The ankle lock has Miz in trouble but Miz sends Kurt outside for the break. Rollins gets back in for the wind-up knee into Dirty Deeds into the Angle Slam and Miz is basically done. The TripleBomb is good for the pin at 35:23.

Rating: A-. WOW. I’m really not sure what to say about this but I think we can call it the most ridiculous, insane, over the top and crazy entertaining match that will mean a grand total of nothing in recent history. I mean…..THEY PUT A MAN IN A GARBAGE TRUCK AND CRUSHED HIM! LIKE SHREDDER IN TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES! And that’s not even the first time someone has used a large truck to try and destroy him this year!

The match was a complete over the top mess and that’s all they could do here. Instead of trying to have a match (which would have been ridiculous given how one sided it was on paper), the whole thing was just a chaotic mess and that’s the best possible outcome. I could have gone with Sheamus, Cesaro or Kane taking the fall but at least it was after a lot of offense. Angle looked fine and I get the break he took, though it makes me wonder if Reigns would have taken that break as well had he been in there (probably not of course but it’s not out of the question). Insanely fun main event and really all they could have done.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m not sure what to think of this one, but it’s safe to say that they weren’t able to put forth their best show given all the last minute changes. That being said the matches we got were probably a lot better, which brings up the fact that a horrible disease is booking the pay per views better than the Raw creative team (I wish I could take credit for that but I saw it elsewhere). It’s not a show that anyone needs to see again (though the last two matches were a blast in different ways) but all things considered, this was good stuff.

Oh and by the way: they added two segments, a bonus match, admitted they were filling in time and STILL MANAGED TO GO OVER! I don’t know if that’s really impressive or pathetic but it made me chuckle.

Results

Asuka b. Emma – Asuka Lock

Cedric Alexander/Rich Swann b. Jack Gallagher/Brian Kendrick – Lumbar Check to Kendrick

Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James – DDT

Enzo Amore b. Kalisto – Jordunzo

Finn Balor b. AJ Styles – Coup de Grace

Jason Jordan b. Elias – Small package

Kurt Angle/Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins b. The Miz/Braun Strowman/The Bar/Kane – TripleBomb to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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So I go to dinner with the in-laws and apparently the wrestling world just went nuts.

Due to a bad viral infection, Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt will be off the pay per view with Kurt Angle and AJ Styles appearing as his replacements. I mean….wow indeed. Styles replacing Wyatt to face Finn Balor is fine, albeit a bit annoying as we’re likely to see Wyatt vs. Balor again later. That was the second biggest match on the card and having Styles on a show never hurt a thing.

Then you have the Shield reunion being ruined and….sweet goodness this is a big deal. The Shield was the entire focus of this show and now that’s been thrown out the window. This is a heck of a change of plans and there’s only so much you can do when your top story is out the window. Angle is a very surprise replacement but I’m not sure if having him in a TLC match is a good idea. Hopefully he’ll be safe (not likely given his high level of insanity) but this is quite the surprise.

Overall, I have no idea how well this is going to go. It’s something that can change every now and then and they only have so many options when you have a rash of illnesses like this. Hopefully the show winds up being ok but what does it say when the replacements make the show that much more entertaining?

Judgment Day 2003
Date: May 18, 2003
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 13,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Let’s get this over with. I don’t remember a time when the TV leading up to a pay per view has been this miserable and the mere idea of this show is making me cringe. Sometimes a show can throw in a surprise or two but I can’t think of a single match that actually gives me hope on this one. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a shot of gallows with kids reciting a rhyme about evil (it’s the same one from the Biker Taker vignettes). Basically everything leads us here and it ends tonight.

Here’s Steve Austin to open things up with an interview instead of a match. I’m so thrilled already. He’s not out here to run his mouth and waste your time because there’s a bunch of great matches tonight. Are we looking at the same card? Austin is going to watch in the crowd with the fans….in a sky box, with a bunch of beer. Lawler seems to think a sky box means sitting in the cheap seats as Austin gives Tazz a beer and heads into the crowd.

John Cena/FBI vs. Spanky/Chris Benoit/Rhyno

Cena says that being he’s with the FBI giving out black eyes, he’ll have the people cheering the bad guys. It’s Palumbo/Stamboli with Cena here as this is a bonus match. Spanky dives onto everyone but gets decked by Cena as we start fast. Cole says he knows all about rapping because he’s a shoelace. The FBI plants Spanky with a double slam and cranks on his legs for good measure.

Palumbo slaps on a bearhug as Tazz and Cole discuss beer. A hard clothesline cuts Spanky off but he headscissors Palumbo into Stamboli. That’s enough for the hot tag to Benoit, meaning it’s time for the German suplexes. Nunzio comes in and eats a Gore but he’s still able to break up Sliced Bread #2. The distraction is enough for Stamboli and Palumbo to hit the Kiss of Death (Demolition Decapitator with a legdrop instead of an elbow) for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was energetic while it lasted but that’s the problem: it wasn’t even four minutes long. Why in the world did we need a pay per view opener that lasts as long as a TV match? The people involved in this match deserve a little more than this, though at least they were on the pay per view card.

Austin is in the sky box having a woman make him a hot dog when Eric Bischoff comes in. Everything they have is split between them so Austin gives him the hot dog. Bischoff is annoyed that there’s no scotch so he’ll have a beer. In a glass that is, which Austin doesn’t appreciate.

We recap La Resistance vs. Test/Scott Steiner, which is all about the Iraq War and how horrible you are if you don’t completely support it.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. La Resistance

Test and Rene Dupree slug it out to start until a backdrop puts Rene down. It’s off to Steiner for some more aggressive offense, including a push-up elbow. Dupree sends him outside though and Sylvan Grenier drives him back first into the apron. The announcers debate France vs. America as Grenier’s chinlock doesn’t get him very far. A middle rope clothesline gives Grenier two but Steiner suplexes his way to AMERICAN freedom.

The hot tag brings in Test to clean house to silence. Test steals the beret and gets rolled up for two as everything breaks down. The pumphandle slam plants Rene but Stacy Keibler gets on the apron for no logical reason. Dupree dropkicks Test into Stacy, who lands in Steiner’s arms. After putting Stacy down, Steiner tags himself in for the reverse DDT on Dupree for no cover. Test boots Steiner by mistake and gets sent outside, leaving Steiner to take the double spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: D. Another TV match here but in this case keeping it short was the right idea. This feud isn’t interesting and Test vs. Steiner isn’t likely to be much better. Fighting over Stacy is fine, but it would be better if they could have anything resembling a good match. The tag division needs La Resistance though, even if they’re not all that interesting of a team.

Stacy stays behind to check on Steiner.

Mr. America arrives and runs into Gregory Helms, who has been told that he’s Hulk Hogan. America’s sources have told him that Helms is really the Hurricane. They agree that their sources are idiots. Clever idea but it’s hard to buy Hogan’s push meaning much when he’s having a match with Roddy Piper.

Eddie Guerrero has found a replacement partner for the injured Chavo. It’s Tajiri, who gets a gold medal and knows that they lie, cheat and steal.

Tag Team Titles: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Eddie and Tajiri are challenging in a ladder match. The brawl starts in the aisle as the champs aren’t happy with Eddie destroying their framed picture of Angle earlier in the week. Eddie gets sent into the ladder, leaving Tajiri to get double teamed inside. A gorilla press drop onto Haas’ knee has Eddie in more trouble and it’s time for another ladder. Tajiri seems to mess up a dive over the top so Eddie dives over the top onto Shelton to get the focus back.

The champs go for the belts but Tajiri breaks it up with the handspring elbow. Haas gets crotched by the ladder in the corner and it’s time for a second ladder. Shelton pulls Tajiri off the ladder, sending him face first into one of the rungs for a scary looking crash. Thankfully he’s ok, though Eddie isn’t quite as good thanks to a powerslam into the ladder in the corner. In a creative spot, Haas puts Tajiri across a ladder and bridges it over the top, leaving Shelton to jump off the ladder, over Haas, and onto Tajiri’s back.

Eddie has to make a save with Haas falling out to the floor in a heap but then wedges the ladder in the corner instead of going up. Naturally he gets sent into the ladder for his efforts, satisfying wrestling rule #3. Tajiri is back up with the hard kicks to the face and he runs them over with the ladder for good measure. The Tarantula has Haas in trouble but it’s Shelton making the save with a shot from the ladder.

Back in and the champs beat on Eddie but Shelton gets monkey flipped into the ladder into Haas to put everyone down again. Eddie sends Benjamin outside but the champs are back up for the save. Benjamin is knocked right back down, only to have Eddie frog splash him instead of going for the belts for no apparent reason. Charlie and Eddie go up and this time it’s a sunset bomb to bring Haas right back down. Tajiri is finally back up to mist Shelton, allowing Eddie to pull down the titles for the win.

Rating: B-. Good though not a great match here. This would have been a much better match with Chavo involved (As in it would have made more sense. Tajiri’s work was fine.) but as it is, it feels kind of thrown together. That’s not on the wrestlers of course, but at least they made it work as well as they could.

Bischoff and Austin think they should sign Eddie but Austin makes Bischoff eat a hamburger and have another beer. Hang on though as Austin has to make fun of the way Eric drinks, including opening the box to get the crowd even more on his side. This eats up way too much time.

Chris Jericho thinks he’ll win the Intercontinental Title when Roddy Piper comes in to make fun of him. They insult each other’s talk shows and Chris brings up Piper ripping the kid’s leg off on Thursday. That was an accident though, just like Jericho being born. They both promise to win their matches tonight and that’s about it.

We get a very nice video on the history of the Intercontinental Title before the battle royal to bring it back. They cover a good chunk of the title’s history and show off some great moments. As usual, WWE knows how to do its history well.

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

Booker T., Christian, Lance Storm, Chris Jericho, Goldust, Kane, Val Venis, Test, Rob Van Dam

The title is vacant coming in and only Booker isn’t a former champion. Naturally, Pat Patterson gets to come out and hold up the title. And yes it’s Venis, as the Chief Morely gimmick is officially gone. After some VERY long entrances, we’re ready to go. Everyone goes after Kane to start (well duh) but he shrugs them off without much effort and gets rid of Storm. With Van Dam down, the others are able to get rid of Kane but he comes back in to beat everyone up.

Booker is up first and dumps Test, followed by Goldust doing the same to Venis. Jericho tosses Van Dam and we’re down to Christian, Goldust, Booker and Jericho in about two minutes. Then why not just do a four way for the title? It turns into a glorified tag match with the good guys fighting back so Goldust can hit Shattered Dreams on both guys. Booker does a Spinarooni to celebrate but Goldust tries an elimination. That’s fine with Booker, who dumps him out without too much trouble.

That leaves Booker and the Canadians and the double teaming is on in a hurry. Booker fights off an elimination attempt though and throws Jericho over, only to have him skin the cat in an always impressive move. Back in and the now bloody (not bad) Jericho forearms Booker down but Christian shoves him over the top during a Lionsault attempt.

Booker kicks Christian down and scores with a flapjack but the referee gets bumped. If you can’t book a nine man battle royal without a ref bump, you might just kind of suck at your job. As you might expect, Booker dumps Christian but no one sees it, leaving Christian to deck Patterson. Booker gets belted as well and Christian tosses him to win the title. As you might expect, Austin does nothing to fix this and the fans’ chants for GOLDBERG go unrequited.

Rating: D. That ending actually made my head hurt. How in the world do you overbook a battle royal that doesn’t even last twelve minutes? Christian winning is fine, but there are other ways you can make it work. Have he and Jericho as the final two and then have Christian dump Jericho out. That’s not even cheating but makes him look like a villain at the same time. Why is that so complicated?

Sable and Torrie get catty before the bikini contest. I think this is supposed to be Sable hitting on her again. If Sable wants one of the Divas this badly, go after Dawn Marie who seems to be more into it.

We recap Sable vs. Torrie, which is as obvious of an idea as you can get.

Tazz is hosting, which is only slightly better than Lawler. Lillian Garcia sings Torrie to the ring as they’re putting a little too much thought and effort into this. She sings the chorus three times as this is going on WAY too long already. Anyway, both get fifteen seconds to disrobe and gyrate.

They both do their thing and the fans say it’s a tie, even though Sable’s reaction was clearly louder. The fact that her swimsuit was smaller has no bearing on this at all I assure you. Actually hang on though as Sable takes off the swimsuit she’s wearing to reveal a smaller one, which is enough for Tazz to give her the win. Torrie gives Sable a rather passionless kiss to end things.

Austin torments Bischoff with more food and beer.

Piper rants to Sean O’Haire about Jericho when Vince McMahon comes in. Roddy better be ready because it’s a big night for the boss. Without Piper there would be no Hogan and now Piper is the epitome of ruthless aggression.

We look at Piper attacking the fan who Mr. America had waving the flag, resulting in the fan’s artificial leg being ripped off. Piper seemed upset but Vince didn’t buy it, which was all the proof he needed to send Piper after America’s mask. As usual, there is so much wrong/stupid about that idea, I don’t even know where to start so we’ll move on.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. America

America brings out a chair, presumably to counteract Sean. Actually it’s for Zack Gowen, the fan whose leg was ripped off. So to clarify: this story is now about Vince, Stephanie, Piper, Mr. America and Gowen. After those five people is Sean O’Haire, whose lone match in this whole thing was a less than five minute match with Rikishi, where Piper had to help him win. And people wonder why this period is so loathed. America gets double teamed to start until Sean is sent outside.

Some right hands get America out of trouble and as the referee yells at O’Haire, the mask comes up to bite Piper. So I’m assuming Vince isn’t watching the match and can’t see 90% of Hogan’s face there? O’Haire pulls America to the floor for some right hands, allowing Piper to whip him with the weightlifting belt. We hit a terrible sleeper until it’s time to America up. The big boot connects but here’s Vince so Piper can get in a low blow. O’Haire brings in a pipe but hits Piper instead, setting up the legdrop to give America the pin as Gowen holds Vince back.

Rating: F. Of course it was terrible but at least they kept it fairly short. As anyone could have guessed at the beginning of this thing though, it’s not doing anyone other than Hogan and Vince any good. Unfortunately that includes O’Haire, who has gone from what should be a can’t miss prospect to a bumbling lackey who can’t do anything right.

Stephanie McMahon tells HHH to be careful.

We recap HHH vs. Kevin Nash, which is over Nash coming back and not liking HHH and Shawn Michaels fighting. HHH then attacked Nash for not picking the right side and we have a World Title match as a result, despite Nash making Roman Reigns like Hogan in the 80s.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Kevin Nash

HHH is defending and Ric Flair and Shawn Michaels are the seconds. I’m not sure who was thinking it’s a good idea to have Flair come out in his own entrance in Charlotte if they want Nash to be cheered but this show has bigger problems to deal with. The brawl is on in the aisle before the bell with Shawn and Flair fighting to the back. I doubt we’ll be seeing them again.

Nash and HHH slug it out on the floor with the bell ringing shortly thereafter. A backdrop has the champ in early trouble as JR is already saying this isn’t going to be the highest quality match. Nash hits a big forearm and flips the hair so you know it’s serious. HHH finally gets in a neckbreaker to get us up to about five moves in the first three minutes. Nash is back with more right hands and a shove to the referee, who pulls him off by the hair. He’ll never referee in this town again.

HHH gives us the required ref bump and a low blow before taking the turnbuckle pad off. Nash comes back with the usual but gets sent into the exposed buckle. The Pedigree gets two with the kickout earning a slightly disturbing positive reaction. A backdrop puts HHH on the floor and he comes back in with the sledgehammer to knock the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: F+. Only because it was slightly more watchable than Hogan vs. Piper. The match didn’t even last as long as their brawl a few weeks back and now the feud gets to keep going because they’re friends. Nash showed that he was washed up in 1999 and has only gotten worse in the years since. It was as bad as you would expect and a World Title match going less than eight minutes on pay per view is pretty unacceptable.

Nash beats up HHH because THIS MUST CONTINUE. He grabs the hammer and stalks HHH up the aisle, setting up a Jackknife through the announcers’ table.

Austin makes Bischoff eat jalapenos and vomiting ensues.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Victoria vs. Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

Jazz is defending and this is one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start until the villains are sent outside, leaving Trish to counter an early wristlock. Victoria and Jazz come back in with with the champ hitting some double chickenwing facebusters. Trish gets caught in the STF and Jacqueline puts Victoria in the half crab at the same time.

It’s Trish getting to the rope first so Jazz can kick Jacqueline for the save. After a Matrish to avoid a clothesline (Lawler: “Trish just got reloaded!”), the Chick Kick gets two on Jazz. The Stratusfaction is broken up with Trish being thrown over the top and landing face first on the floor in a scary crash. Back in and Jacqueline suplexes Victoria, only to get DDT’d to retain Jazz’s title.

Rating: D. That Trish landing looked great (and rather scary) but the time and a lack of a story killed whatever they could do here. What are you supposed to get out of a sub five minute match that you could probably see on Raw? The division is still dying for some fresh blood as these four can only fight so long. We passed that point months ago but it’s still the same lineup every month.

Trish has a cut lip and stares at Jazz, again meaning this must continue.

We recap the main event. Big Show attacked Rey Mysterio at Backlash so tonight it’s Brock Lesnar standing up to the monster in a stretcher match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Lesnar is defending and you have to put your opponent on the stretcher and get it over the finish line. During the entrances, Cole mentions that this is the first stretcher match in the company in 17 years since Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan in 1986. You really would think he would get it right after all these weeks but alas, Cole isn’t that bright (it was 1981). Also, Show brings a stretcher backboard with him with Mysterio, Benoit and Lesnar written on the back. Only Mysterio’s name is crossed off, making Show look even lamer than usual.

Lesnar wastes no time in taking over and hitting Show with the board to knock him outside. A few more shots have Show in trouble and Brock sends him into the board, which is in front of the post. Show is back up and drops him across the stretcher before hitting Brock in the back with the backboard. A chokeslam plants Lesnar in the ring as I wonder why there’s a referee inside with them.

Show drops a leg onto Lesnar onto the board and it’s stretcher time. The champ kicks his way off though and a few backboard shots has Show in trouble. Some choking with a camera cord and Lesnar puts Show on the stretcher as the announcers say it can’t be done. Seriously it’s not that big of a deal. Show fights out again so Lesnar rams the stretcher into his ribs.

A tug of war goes to Show….and he throws the stretcher down and puts its pad on another stretcher. More backboard (albeit from a different backboard) have Lesnar in trouble as this just keeps going. Back up and Brock knocks him off the apron and onto/back off of the stretcher. As Cole incorrectly says the first WWE Champion was crowned forty years ago yesterday (it was forty years ago yesterday that Bruno won the title to become the second champion), Rey Mysterio comes out to distracts Show.

The distraction lets Brock drive a freaking forklift into the arena and dive off the thing with a crossbody/clothesline. A suplex into the F5 (more of an AA) allow Lesnar to throw him onto the forklift (Why can’t he just put him onto the stretcher then?) and wheel him across the finish line to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot worse and it needed about five minutes cut out but it was a watchable enough main event. The problem here was the stretcher rule was completely tacked on and Show only having one of the three names crossed off made me shake my head. They should have done a last man standing match here or something like that, though it’s not terrible or anything.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah this really didn’t work in the slightest. The ladder match was good and the main event was watchable but everything else was anywhere from terrible to a disaster. Aside from the America vs. Piper match and the awful World Title match, everything on here felt either unimportant or worth your time. Nothing on here felt like it needed to be on a pay per view and that scares the heck out of me considering the single branded shows start in June. Really bad here and that’s not surprising when you consider the TV leading up to it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Hell in a Cell 2017
Date: October 8, 2017
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s time for the Shane McMahon Does Something Stupid Show. The main event tonight is Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the show’s namesake structure as Shane fights to defend his family’s honor. Other than that we have the Usos challenging the New Day for the Tag Team Titles inside the Cell too. Let’s get to it.

On the Kickoff Show, Tye Dillinger mentions to Daniel Bryan that he beat Baron Corbin on Smackdown but Corbin is getting a US Title shot tonight. Therefore, Tye should be added to the match. Bryan agrees and we get a YES/TEN exchange with both guys doing the other’s thing.

Kickoff Show: Hype Bros vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

Shelton works on Mojo’s arm to start before it’s off to Gable, who eats a crossbody. Ryder and Benjamin come in with Shelton scoring with a spinebuster and the Bros heading to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ryder still in trouble as Benjamin and Gable take turns suplexing him. Shelton’s superplex is broken up and it’s a missile dropkick to Benjamin. The hot tag brings in Mojo for shoulders and a tilt-a-whirl slam to Gable. A clothesline takes Mojo down and Gable has to try a moonsault, only to land on his feet when Mojo moves.

Instead he belly to bellys Rawley and hits the second attempt at a moonsault for two. Ryder gets knocked off the apron as Mojo starts….uh….hyping up. The Hype Ryder is broken up (which Ryder seems to blame on Mojo) and Paydirt gives Shelton two on Ryder with Mojo making the save. The powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination puts Ryder away at 10:22.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here that you could have seen on any given Smackdown. That’s the kind of Kickoff match you want though as the fans were into the Hype Bros, even if it seems that they’re splitting. You know, because this division is so deep that they can split teams up right now.

The opening video looks at the power and devastation of the Cell itself before looking at most of the matches tonight. Standard but it still works.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

The Usos are challenging inside the Cell. Before the Usos come out, New Day talks about how it’s going to be a prison break tonight when they break the Usos apart. It’s Kofi as the odd man out and they don’t even bother waiting around before finding the weapons. Two kendo sticks (rainbow colored for Xavier), a chair and a chain are brought in with New Day getting the better of it and Big E. dropping Woods (and the chain) onto Jimmy’s face for an early two.

Big E. is sent into the Cell though and Jey dives over the top to take Woods down. Back up though and Big E. spears Jey into the Cell for a heck of a crash. Woods breaks Francesca II over Jey’s back but Big E. pulls out Francesca III for the same result. And now, a cowbell is brought in with Woods hitting Jey in the ribs. If that’s not enough music for your taste, it’s time for a gong (Mortal Kombat reference) but Jimmy throws a chair at Woods’ head. Big E. gets superkicked down and it’s time for the kendo stick beating.

The running Umaga Attack drives Woods up against the Cell but Big E. is back up with a Rock Bottom off the apron into a Backstabber from Woods on the floor. Woods grabs about six kendo sticks and pins Jey up in the corner, sliding the sticks through the Cell like prison bars. It doesn’t last long but it’s a heck of a creative spot. Jimmy throws Big E. onto his shoulders for a spear through the ropes from Jey, driving Big E. into the Cell again.

Back in and the double Superfly Splashes get two and the Usos are frustrated. They bust out some handcuffs and cuff Woods around the post for some stick shots to the ribs ala Orton vs. Cena at Breaking Point back in 2009. They unload on Woods with about twenty shots in a row before letting him off the corner. That’s rather dumb no?

Big E. is back up though and cleans house, including driving Jimmy into the Cell so hard that the whole thing moves. He does it again, driving Jimmy into Jey this time around. The Big Ending gets two on Jey but Jimmy is back in with a pair of superkicks. A double superkick sets up the double Superfly Splash but Woods somehow dives in for the save. The still handcuffed Woods gets all fired up and shrugs off the kendo stick shots but they finally beat him down. With a chair put over Woods, the double Superfly Splash at 21:56.

Rating: A. The referee saying “three” when Woods was being destroyed on the post and the match ending three minutes later aside, this was a GREAT match for two main reasons. First of all, the stuff they did felt fresh. There were a ton of fun spots in here that you haven’t seen before and that’s much better than the repetitive stuff that happens so often in these matches.

Second, and more important, it felt like they wanted to hurt each other. So often the Cell matches are just big matches that don’t have anything resembling violence or carnage, which makes for some bad performances. This was a heck of a brawl and one of the better Cell matches ever. If they just have to keep feuding though, give us a few weeks/months off. Let Breezango get another shot or Benjamin/Gable or someone. Just give us a breather.

AJ Styles isn’t worried about the match being made a triple threat (with Tye Dillinger being added) and quotes a little Tom Petty in a nice touch.

Quick recap of Rusev vs. Randy Orton, which is their third match after the first two didn’t combine to last thirty seconds. Orton attacked Rusev when he was being given the key to his hometown to set up a third match.

Rusev vs. Randy Orton

An early RKO attempt sends Rusev bailing to the floor but he comes back in and fires off shoulders in the corner. Orton stomps away though and tries the hanging DDT but they head outside again. Rusev drives him into the barricade and grabs a chinlock back inside. A spinwheel kick gives Rusev two but he seems to be favoring his back.

Some big elbows are good for two but a missed charge sends Rusev face first into the post (CHECK HIS TEETH!). An RKO attempt doesn’t work so Orton settles for the snap powerslam for two instead. A fall away slam gives Rusev two more but the Accolade attempt sends Orton bailing to the floor. Back in and the hanging DDT connects but Rusev kicks him down again. The Accolade doesn’t work again though and it’s an RKO to put Rusev away at 11:43.

Rating: C+. Is there a point of having Rusev around? It’s clear that WWE isn’t going to give him anything resembling a push anytime soon (or for years to come probably) and I have no idea why they keep putting him in these spots. Oh but at the same time, we get Jinder Mahal being unfunny and uninteresting because of an India tour in December. Another eye roll inducing ending as Orton is the same with a win or a loss while Rusev takes a big hit.

US Title: Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles

Styles is defending and Dillinger was added to the match earlier tonight. Dillinger had tried to answer the US Open Challenge but Baron attacked him, setting up a mini feud between the two. Corbin was scheduled to be the challenger but Tye beat him on Smackdown, earning a spot in this match too. AJ and Tye stare Corbin out to the floor and look to go at each other, only to stomp Corbin down when he tries to sneak back in.

They send Corbin outside again and AJ rolls Tye up for two before scoring with with the drop down dropkick. Corbin punches Tye to the floor and avoids AJ’s dropkick to take over for the first time. A hard whip sends AJ ribs first into the post so Corbin chokes Dillinger in the corner. They head outside with Corbin whipping Tye into the barricade and then slugging him down.

Back in and AJ wins a slugout with Corbin (bit of a surprise) before scoring with the Phenomenal Blitz. Tye comes back in with a hot shot and backdrop to AJ, followed by that one knee Codebreaker for two. Back up and AJ slaps on the Calf Crusher but Corbin pulls Tye to the ropes for the break.

AJ dives over the top with a slingshot forearm but his second springboard is countered into a chokebreaker for a rather near fall. Tye comes back in and kicks both guys in the face until AJ Peles him onto Corbin for a heck of a false finish. The springboard 450 connects with Corbin but Tye makes the save. That just earns Tye a Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Corbin throw AJ out and steal the pin and the title at 19:30.

Rating: B-. Good match here though it went it a little longer than is needed to. Hopefully this sets up AJ in the World Title picture again (if Mahal retains tonight) as it’s the logical way to get us to that point. Tye being added was a good idea as it kept this from feeling like a dull title defense. It also opens the door for some challengers to the title, including one Sami Zayn somewhere in there.

We recap Charlotte vs. Natalya, which thankfully isn’t another Bret vs. Ric feud. Natalya is champion and Charlotte won a multi-woman match to get the shot.

Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Charlotte

Natalya is defending and this match gives her the record for most pay per view matches in women’s history. They trade early leg hold attempts but Natalya settles for some kicks to the leg to really take over. Charlotte uses the good leg to kick her away but still gets caught in a leglock.

That’s broken without too much effort and Charlotte uses the good leg for a big boot to the jaw. A powerbomb doesn’t work as the leg is too banged up so Charlotte tries a backslide for two instead. She’s still able to strut on one leg but tries a moonsault for some reason, allowing Natalya to hit her in the knee a few times. Natalya gets two off a sitout powerbomb but eats another big boot.

This time it’s with the bad knee though and Charlotte goes down, even needing to head outside. The leg is knocked into the steps and Charlotte is in big trouble. Back in and Natalya loads up the Sharpshooter, only to have Charlotte flip her into the buckles for the break. Natalya heads outside again so Charlotte moonsaults down onto her, banging up the knee again. Not that it matters as Natalya grabs a chair to hit Charlotte’s knee for the DQ at 12:18.

Rating: C. Good from a technical standpoint but I’m rather sick of seeing these two fight. Charlotte has beaten Natalya time after time and now we’re probably looking at a submission match next month where Charlotte finally wins the title. The matches are good but sweet goodness the promos to set them up are nightmares and we’re going to be sitting through them for weeks.

It’s Fashion Files time! Their bulletin board includes Cesaro as Tooth Fairy 3 and Raven as That’s So Raven. They’ve solved the 2B case and tease a flashback but wind up in the same place. Ascension, in bad disguises, come in with a delivery. It’s a tube, which Breeze thinks means 2B.

Inside the case is an Ascension poster with the message “we want 2B your friends”. Breeze says there’s no way it’s Ascension because they’re idiots. Ascension takes off the disguises and leave looking very sad. Breeze: “Those disguises were incredible!” There’s another knock at the door but it’s just a black briefcase. They open it up and the contents are glowing ala Pulp Fiction. It’s a new case, meaning Pulp Fashion begins on Tuesday.

We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal for the Smackdown World Title. Basically Mahal is overconfident and thinks Nakamura is funny looking so he made some semi-racist jokes at Nakamura’s expense. Nakamura also has to deal with the Singh Brothers to make things even worse.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is defending and grabs a wristlock to start. Nakamura takes him down without too much effort but can’t get a cross armbreaker. Back up and Nakamura says COME ON before the threat of the Kinshasa sends Mahal bailing to the floor. The champ sends him back first into the post and we hit a camel clutch back inside. A hard whip into the corner has Nakamura in more trouble and it’s off to a chinlock.

Nakamura fights up with a spinning kick to the head for a breather, followed by kicks to the chest. The running knee in the corner gets two and Nakamura adds a knee drop from the apron, only to bang up his own knee again. Back in and the Khallas is broken up, followed by a middle rope knee to Mahal’s chest.

Cue the Singh Brothers for a distraction but Nakamura grabs a rollup for two anyway. The referee finally ejects the Brothers and there’s Kinshasa to Mahal but he grabs the rope at two. Another Kinshasa hits knee though and it’s the Khallas to keep the title on Mahal (again) at 12:05.

Rating: C-. And yes, it continues. Ignoring how they had back to back matches focused on working the knee, this was your standard dull Mahal match with no heat and the fans rolling their eyes when he retains the title again. They’re more than willing to have Smackdown continue to sink for the sake of those India shows in December and if we don’t like it, get over it because nothing is changing. Boring match, but that’s all you can expect from Mahal.

Kevin Owens doesn’t want to hear about what he did to the McMahon Family because Shane has caused Owens’ family harm for the sake of feeding his bottomless ego. Tonight, Shane has to pay.

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

It’s a battle over entrances. Ziggler cuts off his own entrance and comes out to silence and no video. A headlock slows Roode down to start until Roode snaps him throat first across the top to really take over. Some chops in the corner have Ziggler even further in control and we hit a chinlock to keep Roode down.

It’s off to a sleeper for a good while as this is one of the worst ways they could go about having Roode’s pay per view debut. Roode fights up and sends Ziggler shoulder first into the post for his first major offense. A swinging Rock Bottom gives Roode two but Ziggler’s jumping DDT is good for the same.

Just in case you thought this match could get interesting, Ziggler grabs the sleeper AGAIN. A bulldog (called a Fameasser) gets two on Roode but the superkick is countered into a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT is countered into a rollup to give Ziggler two and they trade rollups for a bunch of near falls until Roode grabs the tights (which Ziggler was doing every time) for the pin at 11:35.

Rating: F. Nope. Not the match quality but this was the definition of a failure. Roode looked like he got lucky to steal a cheating win and Ziggler dominated 90% of the match while killing the crowd in the process. This was as bad as it could have been and every single problem they had with Nakamura’s debut against Ziggler. Terrible match and it’s entirely on the layout and booking.

Ziggler immediately hits the Zig Zag on Roode to set up a rematch.

Long recap of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens. Kevin claimed a conspiracy against him for months and attacked Vince after securing a match with Shane inside the Cell. Shane is fighting for his family and is basically holding up a big sign saying “I’m going to do something stupid.”

Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon

Inside the Cell and with falls count anywhere for reasons of Shane needs to do something outside. Owens steps into the Cell so the bell rings and Shane baseball slides him through the door. That means the bad punches make an early appearance and Shane follows up with a clothesline off the barricade.

Owens heads into the cage for safety so Shane kicks the door into his face. Back in and Shane gets knocked off the apron and into the Cell wall, allowing Owens to rub his face against the cage, right in front of Shane’s kids. Owens grabs the steps but gets kicked in the chest. That’s it for Shane’s offense at the moment though as Owens drops a backsplash for two. There’s the Cannonball for two as the crowd is just waiting for Shane to start doing something so they can care.

The Swanton Bomb hits Shane’s knees though and his legs are too banged up to do anything. Why is that something no one else can understand? Back up and Shane peppers him with some more punches, only to miss the shooting star press. Owens’ frog splash gets two but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a pretty messy looking triangle choke.

A powerbomb onto the steps gets Owens out of trouble and it’s table time. The table is leaned up against the table but Owens’ Cannonball off the apron misses Shane and sends him through the table for a crash. Shane hits him with a piece of the broken table and tosses a trashcan into the ring. Coast to Coast connects on Owens but his foot is on the rope, which completely defeats the point of falls count anywhere.

Shane cuts the door open with bolt cutters, allowing Owens to DDT Shane on the ramp with a thud. Owens puts him on the announcers’ table and climbs onto the barricade….before looking up at the Cell. He goes up, looks down at Shane….and can’t bring himself to do it. Instead Shane gets up and climbs to the top as well and it’s time for a slugout on the roof. Shane grabs a Russian legsweep and bangs his own head before slamming Owens on the steel.

There’s a suplex on the Cell to keep teasing the big spot. Owens takes him down for a change and drops a backsplash. The powerbomb is reversed into a backdrop but Owens gets the Pop Up Powerbomb, which still doesn’t break the Cell. Owens teases throwing him off the top but Shane punches his way out of dying.

Thankfully Owens starts climbing down and Shane follows him for some kicks to the back, followed by a ram to the cage to send Owens through the table. EMT’s come down to check on Owens but Shane picks him up and puts him on the second announcers’ table. Shane goes up but dives through the table as Sami Zayn popped up to pull Owens off the table. Sami throws the EMT’s away and puts Owens on top for the pin at 38:18.

Rating: C. I’m going with right in the middle as I got the drama here but I HATED the stunt show stuff. I’m scared of heights in the first place and I can’t stand this kind of stuff in place of having an actual match. Sami turning at the end is a good thing as he doesn’t have anything going for him at the moment and being Owens’ right hand man is the best thing he could do. We knew it was going to be the big stunt at the end and I’m glad Owens won, but sweet goodness it took too long to get there. I get the drama and all that but I really didn’t care for this for the most part, as is typically the case in the WAY too long Shane matches.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade as I loved the opener, couldn’t stand the Ziggler match and wanted to turn off the show during the main event for reasons that have little to do with the actual match. The show was better than I was expecting but the biggest problem was it showed how little star power Smackdown has. They need to boost some people and hopefully the main event starts us down that road. AJ vs. Mahal is the likely title program though Owens/Sami will be the top heel act going forward. This show leaves me cautiously optimistic, but I’ve been in that place before.

Results

Usos b. New Day – Double Superfly Splash to Woods

Randy Orton b. Rusev – RKO

Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger – Phenomenal Forearm to Dillinger

Charlotte b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya used a chair

Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Khallas

Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup with a handful of tights

Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon – Pin after Shane fell through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

No Mercy 2017
Date: September 24, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves

I don’t remember being this excited for a B pay per view in a very long time. This show is all about the double main event with a combination of Brock Lesnar defending the Universal Title against Braun Strowman and John Cena vs. Roman Reigns in one heck of a big time match. That should be more than enough to carry this show so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Elias vs. Apollo Crews

No real story here as this was just thrown together for the sake of a Kickoff match. Elias sings a little ditty about Los Angeles but gets cut off by Titus Worldwide and Crews in particular. Elias shoves him away without much effort and grabs a headlock to keep Crews slowed down. An armbar has Elias in some trouble and Crews snaps off a dropkick to take over. Elias sends him to the apron though and knocks Crews outside as we take a break.

Back with Elias still in control until Crews punches him in the ribs and slowly slugs away. Crews fights out of a reverse chinlock and scores with the standing shooting star. An enziguri staggers Elias but he sends Crews into the corner, setting up Drift Away for the pin at 8:54.

Rating: D+. This felt like a long Raw match and to be fair that’s all it was really supposed to be. Apollo losing again doesn’t really do anything that bad for him as it’s not like h had anything going for him anyway. On the other hand you have Elias, who is looking more and more like someone they would like to push every single week. Good outing from Elias but not much of a match.

Elias goes after Crews again but Titus makes a fast save.

The opening video looks at the two main events and talks about how everyone has the potential to show no mercy.

Intercontinental Title: Jason Jordan vs. The Miz

Jordan is challenging after winning a six way on Raw. Miz gets a bit too cocky to start and walks into a series of suplexes for his efforts. A cheap shot to the ribs has Jason in trouble though and a DDT gets two. The dueling WHO’S YOUR DADDY/LET’S GO MIZ chants starts up as Jordan slugs away, only to get sent outside for a breather. Back in and we hit the YES Kicks to Jordan with Cole and Corey arguing over who invented them.

Jordan catches one of them in another suplex and a Saito suplex is good for a near fall. Some rolling northern lights suplexes give Jordan a bridging two and Miz bails outside again. Back in and Jordan slaps on a Crossface for a bit, only to miss the running shoulder in the corner. Another suplex drops Miz and now the shoulder hits but Jordan has to go after Bo Dallas. Curtis Axel gets in a cheap shot though, knocking Jordan into Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to retain at 10:10.

Rating: C. Jordan’s suplexes looked great but I’m not sure that’s enough to carry him to glory. He really doesn’t have enough of a character to make it work but maybe it just needs another tweak to really start clicking. Miz retaining is the right call as he gets to keep setting himself closer towards the most days with the title.

Post match Jordan says he’s love a rematch and thinks Miz sucks, just like the chants about his father.

Long recap of Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor. Bray targeted Finn for thinking he was a false idol with the Balor Club. Bray beat him on Raw but then lost to the Demon at Summerslam. Now Bray wants to win again to show he can beat Balor himself.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Bray jumps him before the bell and sends Balor into various hard objects. The referees come out to check on Balor and start to take him to the back until Bray says that Balor is a coward who is scared of the monster in front of him. Of course those are fighting words and the brawl is on early. Sister Abigail is broken up and Balor sidesteps a charge to send Bray outside.

Back in and Bray catches him with a superplex to stay on the bad ribs like a good villain should. Finn’s shoulder is sent down into the apron as Bray is picking him apart piece by piece. Bray gets caught in the ring skirt though (That’s still a thing?) and Balor kicks him in the chest. Back in and Balor goes up, only to have Bray do the spider walk to scare the heck out of Finn.

The Sling Blade puts Bray down but he pops back up for a shot to the ribs and the backsplash for two. A double stomp gets Balor out of trouble but he takes too long going up top. Bray pulls him back down and hits a heck of a clothesline for two more. Back to back suplex throws have the ribs in more trouble (good psychological sense) but he takes too long on the ropes too. Balor hits the running corner dropkick and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: C+. Better match than their last effort and hopefully this ends their rivalry so Bray can find someone else to beat him up for a change. The match ran into the same trap that so many Wyatt matches run into: I didn’t buy most of his near falls because it felt like we were just waiting around for him to get beaten. They really need to fix that if they want Bray to move forward. Balor on the other hand needs to be in the World Title picture like….oh anytime would be nice.

Asuka debuts at TLC.

Sheamus and Cesaro say they’ll win.

Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Rollins and Ambrose are defending. Ambrose sends both challengers outside to start but gets run over from behind by Sheamus. Cesaro rams him hard into the steps and comes up (well, he’s still on the ground but you get the idea) holding his arm. Back in and things actually slow down a bit for the referee to check on the arm so you know it’s serious. Cesaro’s boot to the face gets two and he cranks on the arm for good measure.

Dean fights up and sends him into the post though, allowing the hot tag to Rollins so house can be cleaned in a hurry, starting with the springboard clothesline and a catapult into the post. There’s the low superkick as Cesaro is bleeding from the face, due to LOSING BOTH OF HIS FRONT TEETH WHEN HIS HEAD SMACKED INTO THE POST! AND HE’S STILL GOING! Sweet goodness someone get this man a…..what the heck should he get? Sheamus is ticked off (must be a dental enthusiast) and grabs three straight Irish Curses to take Seth down.

It’s back to Cesaro (now less bloody) for a big boot to take Ambrose off the apron. Rollins slugs away anyway and avoids a charge to send Sheamus into the post. One heck of a backdrop sends Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings Dean back in. Ambrose clotheslines Sheamus outside and, while still favoring the arm, hits a suicide dive. Back in and Seth has to save Dean from a double Razor’s Edge, only to have Cesaro kick him to the floor.

That means a Sharpshooter and Crossface for Dean, who somehow makes the ropes. The double Razor’s Edge gets two and Sheamus can’t believe the kickout (fair enough, as that should be a heck of a finisher). With nothing else working, the super White Noise is loaded up but Rollins is there for a hurricanrana….which is blocked through raw power.

Sheamus gives Ambrose the regular White Noise and Cesaro superbombs Rollins onto Dean for the most ludicrous kickout I’ve seen in months. Dean collapses before a Brogue Kick can connect so Sheamus tries again, only to hit Cesaro by mistake. The wind-up knee knocks Sheamus into Dirt Deeds to retain the titles at 15:57.

Rating: B+. Do we still have Isaac Yankem’s business card? I don’t think I need to explain that this was an insanely hard hitting match with both teams beating the fire (and teeth) out of each other. I wasn’t expecting anything coming into this and while the kickouts were ridiculous at times (unfortunately that has to be plural), heck of a performance here and worth checking out.

We recap the Women’s Title match, which is a five way due to trying to throw in everyone they can. Alexa Bliss is defending, Sasha Banks is getting a mandatory rematch, Nia Jax and Emma won a tag match to get here and Bayley is just there because reasons.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Emma vs. Sasha Banks vs. Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Bliss is defending her right to get killed by Asuka. Emma now has new music that starts with “it’s all about me”. Uh, nothing has ever been about you Emma. Bliss and Jax are knocked to the floor without much effort and it’s a rare triple test of strength from the other three. Emma is sent outside as well to give us the big showdown, only to have Nia back in and destroy the mere mortals.

Bliss comes back in and tries her DDT on Jax, who just shrugs it off in a nearly funny moment. Banks tries a save so Nia Samoan drops her and Bliss at the same time, leaving Bayley to dive in for a save. The guillotine choke over the ropes has Nia in trouble so everyone can get together and dump her out. Nia gets right back up and grabs Emma, who slips between her legs and grabs a powerbomb with Bayley helping and Banks and Bliss dropkicking her away from the ropes.

Nia lands ON HER HEAD but thankfully seems to be alive. Back in and Banks hits Rey Mysterio’s sitout bulldog on Emma, followed by the Bank Statement on Bliss. Bayley makes a save and grabs the Bayley to Belly for two of her own. Nia is back up though and starts destroying people again, including a legdrop on Sasha for two. The monster is taken to the floor but Bliss uses the distraction to DDT Bayley and retain the title at 9:59.

Rating: B-. THEN WHY WAS EMMA IN THE FREAKING MATCH??? Of all the people they could have take the fall (and by that I mean of like three), they pick BAYLEY? The one coming back from injury after her horrible run? They have the jobbiest jobber to ever job in Emma and she’s just out there on the floor with the rest of them while Bayley takes the fall? And they wonder why no one buys into her. The other problem here is Nia, who needs to actually win something at some point in her career.

Bliss says she’s a goddess.

Clip from No Mercy 2005 with Batista retaining the Smackdown World Title over Eddie Guerrero.

Long recap of John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Cena came to Raw to face Reigns and then destroyed him in a series of promos. Reigns talked about Cena leaving for Hollywood and says he needs to win this match to really be the big dog.

John Cena vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns shoulders him down to start, drawing a YOU BOTH SUCK chant. Cena actually gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp (Huh?), allowing Reigns to follow him up and get in a shot to the face to take over again. Some right hands have little effect on Reigns, who drops Cena with a single shot for two. Cena sends him into the steps for a breather but still doesn’t seem to have the killer instinct going yet.

Reigns does the same thing to him, followed by the apron dropkick. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as Reigns gets two. Cena gets in a few right hands but a pair of kicks cut him off again as Cena has still had almost no offense. We hit the chinlock as the announcers are suggesting that Cena is starting to lose his big match skills and the stupid fans chant boring.

Back up and the shoulder block is cut off with an uppercut as Reigns is nailing the heel style. Cena’s finishing sequence is initiated but the Five Knuckle Shuffle is countered with another Samoan drop. The Superman Punch is countered into an STF but Reigns powers out into the sitout powerbomb for two more. Cena powers up again and hits the AA for two on a very near fall that I almost bought.

The top rope Fameasser is countered with a not great powerbomb for two and another Superman Punch gets another near fall. Back up and Reigns’ spear hits the post (CHECK HIS TEETH! CHECK HIS TEETH!) so Cena grabs the super AA for another very close two that I bought more than the standard version.

With nothing else working, Cena loads up the announcers’ tables but his third AA is countered into a spear through the table, though Cena kind of countered it with a DDT. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” That’s only good for two back inside but another spear is countered into rolling AA’s for a two that I didn’t buy as much this time around. Another Superman Punch and another spear gives Reigns the pin at 21:48. Cole: “This may be the biggest win of Reigns’ career!” No Cole. No.

Rating: B. Yeah this didn’t really work like it was supposed to and the spamming of finishers was laughable at the ending. The fact that I bought the first AA, really bought the second AA, and didn’t buy the rolling AA’s tells you all you need to know. This was supposed to be some big win that made Reigns but he’s main evented THREE WRESTLEMANIAS IN A ROW. Excuse me if I’m not thrilled with Reigns winning the co-main event of a B show. It’s a big win, but this wasn’t anything close to the level of epic they were hoping for.

Cena raises Reigns’ hand and sits in the corner after Reigns leaves. The fans applaud and give him a THANK YOU CENA chant because they’re acting like he’s retiring for some reason. Cena goes to the ramp, turns around and salutes before leaving.

Miz tells Kurt Angle he wants a special MizTV with Roman Reigns tomorrow night because that win was the same as retiring the Undertaker. Angle agrees and says it’s opening the show. Translation: PLEASE DON’T WATCH MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Neville

Enzo is challenging and comes out dressed like Beetlejuice. Before the match, Enzo runs his mouth about taking the king’s queen (Enzo: “What is a king without a queen?” Still a king you buffoon.) and something about cookie dough. Neville wristlocks him to start and takes Enzo down with a front facelock. A backflip out of trouble just earns Enzo a kick to the leg as Neville doesn’t seem to be sweating this one too much.

Neville sends him head first into the corner and stomps away, followed by a sliding kick to the head. All champ so far and you can feel the screwy ending coming. One heck of a superkick drops Enzo again and more kicks have him reeling. Neville goes up but takes too long jawing at the fans for the Phoenix splash. The DDG gets a close two on the champ but he throws Enzo outside and over the barricade. With the referee at nine, Enzo holds up the title and dives back in. The referee takes it away, allowing Enzo to hit a low blow for the pin and the title at 9:43.

Rating: F. Enzo Amore is Cruiserweight Champion. This is a failure.

D for those of you who are picky about this kind of stuff. It was a squash with a screwy finish.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman, which is going to be a big collision. Strowman is the biggest monster that Lesnar has ever faced and he might not be enough of a beast to conquer him.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is challenging. Brock gets shoved down to start and a takedown attempt is shoved away. The first German suplex is no sold and Brock gets chokeslammed (Graves: “CHOKESLAM CITY BROCK!”). Braun’s running powerslam only gets two and Heyman is panicking. An elbow and headbutt block another German suplex attempt and Brock’s back gives out on an F5 attempt.

Braun posts him and sends Brock hard into the corner, only to miss a charge. Strowman gets caught in the Kimura and despite Braun grabbing the ropes four times, he settles for a spinebuster to break the hold. It’s Suplex City time with numbers two thru six having Strowman in trouble and Lesnar in a puddle of sweat. The F5 doesn’t work though and a second running powerslam plants Lesnar. A third only gets two on Brock as the fans aren’t reacting to these near falls. Back up and the F5 retains the title out of nowhere at 8:58.

Rating: D. Well that was garbage. They had something going in the first few minutes but Brock just shrugged everything off and hit the F5 to retain. You know, likely because we need Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. Braun made one big mistake coming into this match: he got himself over when he wasn’t supposed to and WWE isn’t changing their plans for anyone, especially if the World Title is involved.

Overall Rating: B. That was a heck of a surprise as everything I was looking forward to was either disappointing or just bad and almost everything that I wasn’t interested in was good stuff. Reigns vs. Cena was certainly entertaining though nowhere near as big as WWE thinks it was. Strowman vs. Lesnar….yeah we all bought into the false hope that we’re getting ANYTHING other than Reigns vs. Lesnar II in New Orleans. It’s a shame, but I can’t really say I’m surprised. Disappointed, but not surprised.

The rest of the show was actually very good with the low point being…..I guess Balor vs. Wyatt? I had a good time with this show, even if it was for the polar opposite reason I was expecting to. Still though, it’s one of the better B shows they’ve done in a long time and the good stuff at the beginning more than makes up for the lackluster main event.

Of course nothing makes up for Enzo winning. That’s a wound that will never heal.

Results

The Miz b. Jason Jordan – Skull Crushing Finale

Finn Balor b. Bray Wyatt – Coup de Grace

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Sheamus

Alexa Bliss b. Bayley, Nia Jax, Emma and Sasha Banks – DDT to Bayley

Roman Reigns b. John Cena – Spear

Enzo Amore b. Neville – Low blow

Brock Lesnar b. Braun Strowman – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Backlash 2003
Date: April 27, 2003
Location: Worcester Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

If WWE held the least important pay per view in recent memory, does it matter in the slightest? This is a glorified Raw pay per view with a handful of Smackdown matches thrown in to fill out the card. It’s a really bad time for WWE at the moment and I don’t remember looking forward to a pay per view less than this one in a long time. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Rock vs. Goldberg, which is billed as a dream match (fair enough) but the build really hasn’t done it any favors. No other matches are mentioned.

As a side note: Scott Steiner beat Rico in the dark match. I know you hear about how big of a collapse his WWE run was but my goodness I never realized it was this bad.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

Eddie and Chavo are challenging. Team Angle brings out a framed picture of Kurt, complete with medals hanging off the corner. Haas starts with Eddie with the champ getting rolled up a few times for some early near falls. It’s off to Chavo, who stops to lay over the top rope for a bit of fun.

Benjamin comes in as well and Chavo actually wrestles him down, which only seems to give Benjamin a bit more of a serious look. A knee to the back slows Chavo down but Eddie gets in one of his own to keep Benjamin in trouble. What’s good for the champ is good for the Guerrero perhaps? Eddie gets in a few cheap shots on the floor and puts something into his boot. The slingshot hilo gets two as this has been all Guerreros to start.

For some reason Eddie lets Shelton tag out and some choking from the apron lets the champs take over. Shelton does the jump over Haas spot for two before slapping on one of his own. A powerslam sets up another chinlock as the match has slowed considerably. Haas comes in to stay on the back but a few kicks to the head allow Eddie to make the hot tag.

Heel miscommunication puts both champs in the corner but Shelton gives Chavo a good looking powerbomb. Eddie is right back in with Three Amigos to Charlie and Chavo gets a very near fall. A great looking frog splash crushes Haas so Chavo can get two more with Shelton making the last minute (perhaps post last minute) save. Chavo tries a suplex but it’s the Bobby Heenan Wrestlemania V finish with Shelton holding his foot so Haas can get the pin to retain the titles.

Rating: B-. Good choice for an opener here with the mostly fast paced action and a few hot near falls near the end. They got some time to make this work as well and it was a better match as a result. Eddie and Chavo will be fine as they’re so smooth in the ring that they can make almost anyone look better than they can on their own.

Post match, Los Guerreros jump the champs and steal the belts, leaving in a great looking green car.

Torrie Wilson tells Test to stop calling her but he keeps hitting on her anyway. Test calls her a tease for being in Playboy and insists that she wants him. Being a human, Torrie says no because A, he’s Test and B, she’s Stacy Keibler’s friend. Torrie goes to leave but Test pulls her back and kisses her. She storms off as Sable looks on with a rather evil smile. This storyline just went from stupid to REALLY bad n near record time.

Before the next match, here’s Roddy Piper with a basket full of coconuts. Piper: “I have a loverly bunch of coconuts.” He introduces Sean O’Haire and promises that he’ll teach Rikishi that everyone pays the piper. When purchasing coconuts perhaps?

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

Rikishi wins a slugout on the floor to start and throws O’Haire inside for the opening bell. An early Samoan drop gets no cover as Rikishi has to go after Piper, allowing Sean to get in a superkick. We hit the neck crank with some kicks to the back thrown in for good measure. The fans keep booing something in the crowd as Rikishi fights up and splashes O’Haire in the corner.

Sean pretty easily kicks away the Stinkface as Piper gets inside with the coconut. That goes nowhere as a double superkick puts both guys down. Piper comes in again but gets coconutted to the head. The distraction is enough for O’Haire to hit the reverse Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. Terrible match of course but points for putting someone young over. I know the focus is on Piper (not a surprise) but at least they’re trying to push someone fresh. I’d come up with something other than the Snuka vs. Piper feud from twenty years ago, though at least they don’t have Snuka getting back in the ring. Yet at least.

Sable tells Stacy that Torrie kissed Test and even gave him the advance copy of Playboy a few weeks ago. I’ve started typing a few different things about how stupid this is but I think it speaks for itself. I mean…..Eugene was presented as ten times smarter than Stacy in this segment.

Rob Van Dam likes being a champion but says it doesn’t matter what happens tonight because Chief Morely (guest referee, as announced on Heat) won’t let he and Kane retain. Kane says they’ll take everyone down with them.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Rob Van Dam/Kane vs. Dudley Boyz

The Dudleys are defending and Morely is guest referee. Bubba jumps Van Dam from behind to start but a quick leg trip gets him out of trouble. A standoff slows things down but more importantly allows Van Dam to hit that signature pose. Bubba drops him with a right hand and does the same pose to a rather negative reaction. It’s off to D-Von vs. Kane as this is already feeling like a glorified Raw match. The abundant amount of empty chairs would seem to back up that theory.

A big boot gives Kane two and it’s back to Bubba to change things up a bit. The fans want tables but have to settle for Kane getting two off a spinebuster instead. Morely hasn’t been much of a factor so far. Van Dam’s split legged moonsault is good for two but it’s time for some good old fashioned cheating. D-Von comes in sans tag to draw Kane in as well, meaning Van Dam has to take What’s Up.

It’s off to a chinlock and Bubba actually comes in with a basement dropkick. Rob finally gets in a kick to the face and the hot tag brings in Kane. Everything breaks down and it’s Rob’s top rope kick to D-Von’s face. Rolling Thunder hits Bubba but Kane comes back in with the top rope clothesline to D-Von.

Morely finally does something by hitting Kane low but a second swing hits Bubba in the jaw by mistake. That’s enough for D-Von who beats on Morely but Lance Storm comes in with a springboard clothesline. Bubba dispatches Lance without too much effort and it’s a 3D to Morely. Kane grabs a chokeslam on Bubba and the Five Star is enough for the pin from another referee.

Rating: C-. Overbooking aside, this wasn’t half bad but it was really just a longer version of what they do on Raw most of the time. The story is out of gas at this point and unfortunately that ending is likely to see it continue for whatever reason. The division needs more teams and hopefully the evil French guys can help out a bit.

Since this story hasn’t gone on long enough, Stacy goes to see Torrie, who says Test kissed her. Stacy doesn’t buy it and a cat fight is on. I have no idea why most of these women are here when they’re not on the card, nor why Ivory is in a towel despite not having a match.

Women’s Title: Jazz vs. Trish Stratus

Trish is defending and comes in banged up. We get a staredown early on until Trish actually takes her down without too much effort. A backbreaker gets Jazz out of trouble and we hit the double chickenwing. Trish gets thrown down by the hair and Jazz sits on her ribs for good measure. The comeback is short lived as Trish charges into a boot in the corner and the Stratusphere is countered into something like a super Styles Clash.

Jazz goes with a weak half crab but Trish reverses into the full thing. The Chick Kick gets two and Stratusfaction gets the same with Teddy Long throwing in a shoe (make your own Austin Powers joke) for the save. The referee believes that Teddy didn’t do it, despite the fact that HE’S ONLY WEARING ONE SHOE! Trish tries a sunset flip but Jazz sits down on it and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. Rather solid match with a finish that felt like it belonged in the NWA. Above all else though they both looked comfortable out there, which is a big step up from most of the women around this company. Good little match here and the finish should hopefully help set up some fresh challengers for the title in the not so distant future.

Booker, Shawn and Nash agree to trust each other but Nash wants HHH for himself. Well they would be the only ones to want that match.

We recap Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio, which is entirely built around a single 619 that knocked Show down. For some reason, this warrants a pay per view match.

Big Show vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey trips him down to start and Show is annoyed again, earning Mysterio a toss into the corner. One of the hardest chops you’ll ever see or hear has Rey’s eyes bugging out of the mask and he rolls outside. Back in and Show stands on the chest for a bit until Rey slips out of a gorilla press. Some right hands stagger Show but Rey heads outside again, this time for a chair. The referee is conveniently knocked away so Mysterio can get in a chair shot, followed by the springboard seated senton for two. A 619 to the leg sets up a 619 to the face but the West Coast Pop is countered into the chokeslam to give Show the pin.

Rating: D-. Well that happened. I have no idea why this needed to be on pay per view as they could have either done the exact same thing on Smackdown or had Mysterio face Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title here. But no, the solution was to give Big Show a squash win, likely so he can have a big match next month. And of course Mysterio is the only person you can put in here against him because you can’t have show win a competitive match against a name of equal value (Benoit would have been a better choice). Putting this on pay per view in this form was ridiculous and more booking that makes my head hurt.

Mysterio does a stretcher job but Show picks him up and swings the backboard (with Rey still attached) against the post. Just in case you didn’t get the entire idea from the match you see. The bump looked great though.

HHH, Ric Flair and Chris Jericho are ready for the wholesome trio tonight.

Torrie and Stacy get in another fight until Scott Steiner saves Stacy. Test FINALLY returns to yell at Steiner for carry Stacy to the trainer.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena. Lesnar won the title at Wrestlemania and Cena has been calling him out both before and since the title win. Cena then won a tournament to earn the shot so it’s an actually well built match. Unfortunately it’s also the biggest match on the Smackdown side and feels like a slightly glorified TV main event.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Cena comes out in a Yankees jersey which must have his skin crawling. His rap talks about how he’s going to be added to the list of great champions, meaning he’s crazy like Mankind and coming at you from so many angles that you’ll call him Kurt. Cena jumps him at the bell and slugs away but you can only do that for so long against Brock. Two backbreakers into a fall away slam has Cena in trouble and Brock at the cut on his forehead from Smackdown.

A front facelock keeps Cena in trouble as Tazz goes into his rare yet useful explanation of how to get out of a hold. Brock stomps away in the corner and there’s a gorilla press for good measure. Cena wisely bails out to the floor and grabs a chair but settles for throwing Lesnar into the steps instead. The cut is busted open so Cena slugs away back inside. A running shoulder sends Lesnar to the apron and there’s the middle rope Fameasser to put him fully outside.

Back in and we hit a chinlock for a good while before a DDT gives Cena two. Lesnar grabs a spinebuster to put both guys down for a breather as Cole starts talking about momentum. Tazz thinks whoever is up first might have the advantage. Thanks for that analysis there buddy. Cena is back up with a chinlock and a bodyscissors for a rather long while.

Back up and Cena gets driven into the corner for the break and it’s comeback time. Some clotheslines and a powerslam give Lesnar two. Cena is smart enough to almost send Lesnar into the referee, allowing John to hit a low blow for two more. It’s chain time but a quick F5 retains the title.

Rating: C-. Pretty watchable match (save for that long chinlock) but there was no hiding the fact that Cena was in way over his head and had almost no chance to win the title. Lesnar did what he could and sold a lot, though there’s only so much you can do when the ending is never in doubt. Cena would have his day of course but it just wasn’t here yet.

We recap the six man tag, which was all about who is Nash’s best friend. In other words, it’s a story that all of five people are interested in and for some reason we have to do this six man tag instead of HHH vs. Booker T. II here and Nash doing his hair somewhere instead. This is little more than a pit stop before Nash gets his big singles title match that isn’t interest in and no one wants to see anyway. This gets the music video treatment because it’s the big match in the eyes of the people who matter the most around here.

Kevin Nash/Shawn Michaels/Booker T. vs. HHH/Ric Flair/Chris Jericho

Nash wants to start with HHH but thankfully we do Shawn vs. Jericho instead. Jericho punches away in the corner but Shawn speeds things up and starts a pinfall reversal sequence. A Walls attempt is broken up and it’s off to Nash to hammer on the arm. Jericho skins the cat (I still want to know how it got that name) but Nash is smart enough to be right there with a big boot.

It’s off to Booker, who scores with a kick to HHH’s jaw, only to get caught in the facebuster. The spinebuster puts Booker down and it’s off to Flair for the old school portion. Shawn comes in off a missed elbow drop and house is quickly cleaned. Sweet Chin Music connects but HHH is right there with a Pedigree for the save. HHH and Flair take turns beating on Shawn until it’s off to Jericho for a hard belly to back.

Now the villains start in on the knee but an enziguri puts Flair down. That’s enough for the hot tag to Nash and we get the showdown with HHH. I’m sure the fans are all going to start cheering as soon as the shock wears off so ignore that silence thing. Snake Eyes and the side slam are good for two on HHH with Flair making the save. The chops have no effect with Nash fixing his hair while Ric fires them off.

Everything breaks down and Booker ax kicks Jericho to set up the Spinarooni. Sweet Chin Music is broken up and Flair grabs the Figure Four as Nash loads up the announcers’ table. He comes in for the save instead (how nice of him) but shoves Flair into the referee. The sledgehammer to the head puts Nash away.

Rating: D. So yeah, instead of doing HHH vs. Booker and Shawn vs. Jericho or Flair, we’re stuck with HHH beating Nash to likely set up HHH vs. Nash for the title. As usual, 2003 makes my head hurt and somehow we’re not even close to done with this story. The match wasn’t the worst by any stretch but sweet goodness it was boring and not the way to make me want to see anything else on Raw.

We look back at Mysterio being destroyed in case you didn’t get the idea the first time.

The update on Rey: there is no update.

Long recap of Rock vs. Goldberg, which doesn’t really have much of a story. Rock is coming off beating Steve Austin at Wrestlemania and Goldberg just showed up to attack him. The match was agreed to and Goldberg has been chasing him since. It’s basically Rock being a huge star and someone getting to beat him before he heads to Hollywood permanently.

Rock says he’ll win and doesn’t care much about Goldberg. This felt like nothing but the time filler that it was. The fans chant for Rock all over again.

The Rock vs. Goldberg

The entrances take a long time and Rock hits the floor before the bell as they’re hitting the stall button hard here. They stare each other down as the match hasn’t actually started yet. We’re finally ready to go after several minutes of killing time, which isn’t what this show needed. Goldberg shoves him away off the lockup, which isn’t that surprising as Rock isn’t known as a power guy.

They do it again with Rock falling to the floor this time around. Back in and Rock slaps him in the face, only to get run over with a shoulder. Rock bails again as the announcers debate music. We hit another long stall until Rock snaps him throat first across the top. Goldberg grabs a Rock Bottom but takes way too long on the spear, allowing Rock to send him into the post. The Sharpshooter goes on for a bit before Rock goes with a low blow.

That means nothing either and it’s a spear to cut Rock down. No Jackhammer though as Goldberg gets two off a slam instead. Good grief END THIS SHOW ALREADY. Rock hits a spear of his own (called a spinebuster by Coach, which isn’t that far off actually) and the Rock Bottom gets two. Now the spinebuster actually connects and the People’s Elbow gets two more. Goldberg pops up, hits a spear, ignores the GOLDBERG SUCKS chant, adds a second spear, and finishes with the Jackhammer.

Rating: D-. This was about as dumb as they could have gone with Goldberg doing the same kind of match that every WWE main eventer has with the multiple finishers and trading moves instead of doing the formula that got him over in the first place. It was a completely terrible debut match with Rock’s selling alone completely outshining everything Goldberg did.

Compare this Goldberg match to his recent return (true story: he wrestled more in this match than in a match, a Royal Rumble appearance, a title win and a title defense) and look at which got better reactions, more entertaining matches and just more success overall. It’s not hard to figure out why one was better than the other and a lot of it has to do with booking Goldberg like Goldberg and not like any other star.

Overall Rating: F. The problem here is much more based around this show not being necessary, at least not in this form. The Smackdown stuff was completely unnecessary with most of the blue matches being TV worthy at best and horrible at worst. If you can’t even fit Chris Benoit, Matt Hardy and Undertaker on the show (yet there was time for FOUR Stacy/Test/Torrie segments), just cut the Smackdown part out and let it be a Raw pay per view. Turn the six man into HHH vs. Booker II for the title and do Shawn vs. Jericho II with Jericho getting his win back while Nash is guest enforcer or something.

Then there’s the show itself, which peaked at a just somewhat above average Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros opener. The wrestling was terrible throughout with matches either not needing to exist or being so uninteresting that there was no reason to care about them. This show felt like it was running overtime and didn’t even make it to two hours and forty five minutes. It was an awful show which could have either been a standalone Raw show or just not existed and I don’t think anyone would have really noticed. Just awful stuff all around and a really bad sign of things to come.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It can lead to things like this.

That would be Miz making his entrance for the Kickoff Show match with only a few hundred (if that) people in the arena.  Miz is the current Intercontinental Champion and he’s in an arena with fewer people than a flea market show.  This match was a rematch from Raw and served virtually no purpose other than getting people on the show.  It started at roughly 5:20pm, because we just had to get in three Kickoff Show matches.

Now here’s the thing.  Apparently the arena’s gates didn’t open until after 5pm.  Ok, that’s understandable and can’t be blamed on WWE.  What CAN be blamed on them is having so much material that the first match had to start an hour and a half before the regular show officially began.  The second and third Kickoff Show matches were before a reasonable crowd.  This however looks awful and is something that is likely going to be a running joke for a good while.

 

Stop cramming in so much stuff, especially when it’s hardly adding anything.

Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s finally time for one of the biggest shows of the year as WWE takes over New York City all over again. This time around the big main event is a four way for the Universal Title with Brock Lesnar defending against Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman and Samoa Joe. The rest of the card is too deep to break down in short order so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan vs. Miz/Miztourage

The idea here is that Miz wants to be defending his Intercontinental Title against Jason Jordan but is stuck in this for reasons that aren’t clear. The section opposite the hard camera is MAYBE ten percent full because we’re about an hour and a half away from the start of the pay per view.

Jeff takes Axel into the corner to start and hands it off to Jordan to work on the arm. Dallas comes in and gets the same treatment, sending the Miztourage outside for a breather as we take a break (with empty sections of seats being shown on camera). Back with Jeff in trouble with Miz hammering away and working on the arm.

Matt comes in and throws some right hands but the Twist of Fate (with Matt shouting TWIST OF FATE) is broken up. Miz gets in some YES Kicks but gets sent into the corner, setting up the hot tag to Jordan. The suplexes send the Miztourage flying as everything breaks down. Jordan hits the running shoulder in the corner to Axel but Miz makes a blind tag, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale to put Jordan away at 10:31.

Rating: C-. Ridiculous looking non-crowd aside, not much of a match here. In theory you would have Miz lose the fall to Jordan here to set up the title match but it wouldn’t shock me if they had Miz beat him and then set it up anyway. This match didn’t need to happen and only served as a way to have some of these names on the card.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Tozawa is defending after winning the title on Monday. The crowd is looking far better already with the section opposite the hard camera now mostly full. Neville, in white trunks for a change, gets knocked outside so Tozawa can do his shouting. Tozawa follows him out but gets sent into the LED apron as we take a break.

Back with Neville throwing on a chinlock until Tozawa throws him outside for a suicide dive. A hard belly to back suplex drops Neville and an Octopus Hold has him in even more trouble. Neville makes the ropes and cuts off a charge with an enziguri, only to get kicked down as well to put them back to even. Back up and Tozawa rocks Neville with a right hand but it’s still too early for the backsplash. The superplex is broken up but the backsplash hits raised knees. The Red Arrow gives Neville the title back at 11:47.

Rating: C. And that would makes them 2-2 in 50/50 booking on the Kickoff Show so far. Neville lost the title on Monday and gets it back on Monday for whatever reason, despite having no one left to defend the thing against. I’m sure this is going to thrill the fans so far, now that they’re at least in the arena.

Here’s Elias to sing two songs, one of which insults Brooklyn in general and the other of which insults local singers. No match or anything but this is a thing that happened.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending with Big E. and Woods in the ring. Before the match, Kofi (in Red Lantern inspired gear) talks about New Day’s history in Brooklyn, which is the first place they sang to the crowd and the birthplace of Francesca. Woods forearms Jimmy down to start and snaps off some rights and lefts in the corner. A raised boot cuts him off though and we take a break.

Back with Woods fighting out of a chinlock before coming up with a dropkick to Jey. Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron though and it’s a Death Valley Driver into the corner for two. A modified Demolition Decapitator gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Back up with Woods getting in a faceplant for the tag off to Big E. as house is cleaned in a hurry. The Warrior Splash hits Jimmy and Big E. powerbombs Woods onto him for good measure.

In a real twist, Woods puts Big E. on his shoulders for a splash. JBL: “That’s what you’ve come to expect from the New Day!” A move they’ve never done before? Jey comes in off a hot tag and a double spinebuster gets two on Big E. It’s back to Woods who sends Jimmy into Big E. for a Rock Bottom/Backstabber combination and a near fall. Everything breaks down with the twins being sent outside for a dive from Woods, only to have Big E.’s stopped by a superkick.

The Superfly Splash gets two on Xavier but he’s back up with a Koji Clutch on Jey. A Shining Wizard gets two more and the Midnight Hour plants Jey with Jimmy diving in at the last second for the save. Woods charges at Jey, who launches him over the top into a Samoan drop on the floor. Big E. spears Jey through the ropes, only to have the Big Ending broken up by a blind tag. Five superkicks and a double Superfly Splash gives us new champions at 19:09.

Rating: B+. Heck of a match here as the three people/teams who won during the week go to 0-3 on the Kickoff Show. I have no idea what the point is in putting the titles back on the Usos as they cleaned out the “division” in recent months, pretty much leaving New Day alone as a good face team. Breezango barely wrestles anymore and we’ve done the two of them vs. the Usos, but that’s never stopped WWE before.

We get a KFC ad featuring various people auditioning to be the next Colonel Sanders. This cuts to the arena where Shawn Michaels comes out in a sleeveless Sanders outfit, dances around, slides over the announcers’ table, and nothing else. This is one of the most random things I’ve ever seen.

The opening video looks at every match under the slogan Go Big.

No pyro again, but let me introduce you to the ridiculous amount of commentary teams and all their equipment to broadcast live in various languages.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Cena cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in on Monday. For a change of pace, Cena slides to the floor and grabs JBL’s hat while saying Corbin is shaken up. Back in and Cena’s headlock is broken up with some knees to the ribs. Corbin’s slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline gets two and it’s time to yell at the referee.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two and triggers a WHERE’S YOUR BRIEFCASE chant. That earns Cena a chokebreaker as this is mostly one sided so far. Cena fights out of a superplex with a tornado DDT but the AA is broken up. Deep Six gives Corbin two but Cena comes right back with the Attitude Adjustment for the fast pin at 10:18.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I said this about a Cena match but this sucked. This was Cena getting beaten up for eight minutes and then coming back with a single AA for the pin (which NEVER happens). I don’t know if Corbin ran over Vince’s dog or something but he’s been crushed in the last week for no apparent reason. This was really odd and a big letdown, at least partially due to time.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Natalya is challenging after winning an elimination match last month. Naomi starts fast and knocks her outside, meaning it’s time to shout a lot. Back in and the champ’s leg gets snapped over the top rope and then over the turnbuckle for good measure. A suplex gives Natalya two, followed by a small package to give Naomi the same.

Back up and Natalya blasts her with a clothesline, followed by a Michinoku Driver for two more. The discus clothesline drops Naomi again but she comes back with a Russian legsweep. Naomi declares it GLOW TIME and does her dancing kicks (the ones that make almost no contact) but Natalya pulls her down to the mat instead. Back up and the reverse Rings of Saturn is reversed into the Sharpshooter for the surprise tap out at 10:49.

Rating: C-. Natalya looked far better out there but sweet goodness this division is getting less and less interesting all the time. The longer we wait for Charlotte and Becky Lynch to be in the title picture, the worse this division seems, mainly because it feels like a big waste of time. This match should have been on the Kickoff Show or not on the show whatsoever, but that might mean someone doesn’t make the card and that would just be unforgivable.

There’s no Carmella appearance.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass turned on Enzo Amore for running his mouth too much (gee I’m stunned) so Enzo brought in Show to help deal with him. Tonight Enzo is locked in a shark cage and Show’s hand is broken due to an attack by Cass.

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Enzo runs his mouth before the match and sucks up to Brooklyn, furthering his status as my least favorite person in the company. I don’t think I need to explain to you why Enzo is really annoying but he’s been even more so lately. Show slugs away with his left hand as Enzo runs his mouth about how we’re going to work tonight while dancing in the cage, causing it to rattle loudly. Show hurts his hand on a missed Vader Bomb as Enzo is now jumping up and down.

Cass hammers on the hand and grabs an armbar for some psychology. The fans think this is boring as Show fights up with a left handed chokeslam for two. Cass knocks him down again and Enzo is taking his pants off. He pulls out some hidden oil and covers himself with it, allowing him to slip through the bars. Enzo gets down so Cass kicks him in the head but the big boot only gets two on Show. A second big boot sets up the Empire Elbow for the pin on Show at 10:28.

Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I couldn’t stand someone as much as I can’t stand Enzo. Stephanie maybe? Cass winning helps a lot here and hopefully he can now move on to ANYTHING else. He looked good in his win and now he can move on to a fresh feud. Show is actually really acceptable in this role as he’s just putting people over on the big stage and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Daniel Bryan comes in to see Kurt Angle to say he thinks Smackdown will steam the show. Bryan: “It’s true, it’s true.” Angle thinks Raw will be better and starts a YES chant. This turns into one heck of a YES/NO battle until both guys get winded.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Not much of a story here as Rusev wanted competition and Orton answered him. Rusev jumps Orton during the entrance and beats the heck out of him before the bell. Orton says he can go and it’s an RKO for the pin at 9 seconds.

That right there is the perfect example of why I can’t stand these huge cards. This is obviously, and I do mean obviously, a case of cutting something for time. Why is it being cut for time? It’s so we could have a Cruiserweight Title rematch and a six man rematch on the Kickoff Show. Neither match was good and both matches pretty much advanced nothing (the Cruiserweight Title match actually took us back in time) but they ate up time that could have gone to this match, which could have been interesting. Instead Rusev looks like an idiot and the match barely exists. Just don’t put someone on the card. They’ll be ok.

Sasha Banks is coming to the ring when she runs into Bayley, who gets booed while wishing Bayley good luck.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging as a replacement for an injured Bayley. They brawl into the corner with the fans booing the heck out of Sasha. Bliss hits the hardest right hand she’s ever thrown but gets caught with a crossbody for two. Banks gets caught in the corner and faceplanted down to the mat. The New York fans are of course pleased with the woman from Boston getting beaten up, including having Bliss stand on her hair.

Alexa chokes in the corner and hits some double knees to the back. Some more choking ensues but Banks flips her out of the corner for a breather. Sasha makes her comeback with some clotheslines and a dropkick. Bliss tries a sunset flip out of the corner, only to have Sasha flip her backwards and head first into the buckles.

The Bank Statement goes on but it’s way too close to the ropes. Bliss takes her outside and sends her hard into the barricade, possibly injuring Sasha’s shoulder. Banks is back in at nine so Bliss is right on the arm, followed by Twisted Bliss for two. Some shots to the shoulder break up another Bank Statement, only to have Banks grab it again for the tap and the title at 13:17.

Rating: B-. Bliss did most of the work in the match and looked far better than I ever would have believed just a few months ago. This run has turned her into a completely acceptable worker, which isn’t what you would have expected. Banks winning is the right call long term, but they did a pretty lame job of building the match towards the finish. Still though, best thing on the show by a few miles so far.

We see the Shawn Michaels KFC bit again.

Long recap of Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray seemed to think that Balor was a false idol and promised to destroy him. Wyatt beat him this past Monday and then poured “blood” over him for some extra effect. Balor then said that Bray had his demons, but he did too. I think you know what that means.

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

After Bray’s full entrance, a voice starts singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. That means the Demon King returns for the first time since last Summerslam to easily the reaction of the night. Finn crawls around and Bray takes an early breather on the still smoky floor. Back in and Balor hammers away, kicking Bray right back to the floor. Balor jumps over him in the corner so Bray leans over backwards for a scary look of his own.

That’s fine with Finn who sends him outside for a flip dive but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace. A suplex onto the floor knocks Balor silly though and we hit the chinlock for a bit. Balor pops back up and knocks him outside for a kick from the apron, followed by a Sling Blade back inside. Bray boots him in the face for two and declares that he has him. Balor gets in the shotgun dropkick against the barricade and throws him back inside for a quick Coup de Grace at 9:42 in another weak finish.

Rating: C+. As has been the case all night (and ever for the most part), it’s such a waste of a match to do it once on Monday and then again on Sunday. Why should I care that Balor won here when Bray already beat him earlier in the week? Either way, this was hardly a great return for Balor, who was the most obvious winner in the world here. Bray loses on the big stage, again, and it’s time to start his cycle all over again.

We recap Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins, which has very little to do with Cesaro/Sheamus. Ambrose and Rollins were tired of getting double teamed and teased getting back together for weeks. It FINALLY happened earlier this week and they were granted an immediate shot at the Tag Team Titles.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending. Ambrose headlocks Sheamus to start and it’s a blind tag from Rollins to set up a knee drop. A dropkick staggers Cesaro and the champs are knocked to the floor without too much effort. Sheamus pulls Dean outside for a Brogue Kick though and Seth gets slammed on the floor for good measure.

Seth grabs a Blockbuster for a breather but hang on a second as Cesaro is running into the crowd. He grabs a beach ball that a fan was batting around and rips it to shreds, drawing a heck of a YES chant. I certainly love him a lot more now. Cesaro suplexes Seth down for two but seems to have tweaked his knee.

Rollins gets taken outside for a double beating, only to have Ambrose come off the top with the elbow to put everyone down. Back in and the champs are clotheslined over the top, setting up the double suicide dives. A Hart Attack with a Sling Blade (not a Blockbuster Cole) gets two on Cesaro and the rebound lariat puts him down again. Sheamus gets caught on top for a superplex with Rollins tagging himself in for a frog splash and a near fall with Cesaro making the save.

Cesaro breaks up the double bomb out of the corner and Dirty Deeds is countered into the Sharpshooter. Dean is almost in the ropes but Cesaro switches to a Crossface in the middle of the ring. Since that’s not going to work, it’s a powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination for two instead. White Noise is loaded up but Seth hurricanranas Cesaro off the top into Sheamus for the crazy save. A jumping knee to the face knocks Sheamus into Dirty Deeds for the pin and the titles at 18:35.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with the ending looking great. That ending was a great touch as the Shield guys worked so well together. I’m not usually a fan of having two guys put together to become champions but it helps to have such a strong history between them. Now all they need is Roman as a surprise and things should be great all over again.

We recap Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles for the US Title. They’ve traded the title in recent months but Owens blames his recent loss on bad refereeing. This meant Shane McMahon was appointed as guest referee, so Owens started bringing up Shane’s history as a crooked referee and his issues with AJ. The question is will Shane screw someone over and who will it be.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending with Shane McMahon as guest referee. Owens jumps him at the bell and hammers away with AJ’s comeback being cut off without much effort. The Cannonball gets two and Owens yells at Shane. A chinlock and backbreaker get two more on the champ but AJ says bring it. Styles wins a slugout and hits a belly to back faceplant for two but can’t follow up.

Back up and AJ manages the Phenomenal Forearm, only to hit Shane by mistake. That means there’s no one to count the Pop Up Powerbomb so Owens yells at Shane. As you might expect, AJ gets back up and knocks Shane to the floor by mistake. The Calf Crusher goes on and Owens taps to no avail.

Everyone gets back in and AJ forearms Owens down, only to get caught in the spinning superplex for two. AJ comes right back with the Styles Clash for a close two. Owens grabs the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin but AJ’s foot was on the ropes and Shane calls it off. That means an argument and Shane shoves Owens into a rollup for two. The Pele sets up the Phenomenal Forearm and a second Styles Clash retains the title at 17:25.

Rating: B. This was too much about Shane and they’re not exactly being subtle about the upcoming Owens vs. McMahon match. AJ retaining is the right call here as there’s no need to put it back on Owens if he’s going to be feuding with Shane in the coming weeks. It wasn’t quite the blow away match I was expecting but it was a good, back and forth fight and a definitive ending, which is the most important thing.

Some fans won a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. Jinder Mahal won the title in May in a huge upset and has continued to defy his critics ever since. Shinsuke Nakamura became #1 contender by pinning John Cena clean. There’s also no Baron Corbin to cash-in his Money in the Bank briefcase any longer.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder is defending and Nakamura is played to the ring by a live violinist. The threat of some kicks brings Mahal close enough to grab a wristlock, only to have Nakamura spin out and send Mahal outside. Nakamura says bring it on so Mahal gets back inside, only to get caught with Good Vibrations. Shinsuke is getting a little too comfortable so the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Mahal to pound him down and grab a chinlock.

Back up and Nakamura gets in a spinning kick to the jaw and a cross armbreaker but Jinder makes the ropes. Some hard kicks to the front and back of the head have Mahal reeling but here are the Singh Brothers for another distraction. This time it allows the Khallas to end Nakamura at 11:25.

Rating: D+. And Mahal retains to bore another day. I have no idea what’s supposed to interest me about Mahal but it’s really missing. Nakamura might not have been ready to win the title but the Singh Brothers distraction into a Khallas is about as lame of a finish as there is in WWE right now. If he had a great finisher or something it would make a big difference, but sweet goodness this let the air out of the place.

We recap the Universal Title match and simply put, this is going to be chaos. Brock Lesnar is defending against Braun Strowman, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns with basically a guarantee of pure anarchy. I don’t think you need much more of an explanation.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Lesnar is defending, anything goes, and he leaves WWE if he loses. Naturally Paul Heyman handles Lesnar’s Big Match Intro and we’re ready to go. Joe goes after Lesnar while Strowman and Reigns head outside. The first suplex sends Joe outside but Reigns posts Strowman to set up the first showdown. The first German suplex drops Reigns and Joe comes in to take the second. NOW it’s the real showdown though with Strowman vs. Lesnar and the fans are way into this one.

Joe and Reigns cut it off though and we’re forced to wait a bit more. The wait is only a few seconds though as Reigns and Joe are knocked outside and it’s Strowman LAUNCHING Lesnar into the corner and clotheslining him hard to the floor. Reigns comes back in and clotheslines Strowman, who calmly shoves Reigns away. Joe grabs the Koquina Clutch on Lesnar but sidesteps a spear, sending Lesnar HARD through the barricade.

Joe Rock Bottoms Reigns onto the announcers’ table but Strowman runs Joe over, leaving him as the last man standing. Strowman goes to load up the table as Graves hopes he uses Saxton as a weapon. A running powerslam drives Brock through a table but Reigns dropkicks Strowman down. Joe’s suicide elbow drops Reigns so Strowman throws a commentator’s chair at both of them.

Lesnar is getting back up so Strowman powerslams him through the second announcers’ table. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Strowman obliges by turning the last table over on top of Lesnar, drawing a bunch of referees and agents to save the champ. Heyman: “NOOOOO!” We get a stretcher for Brock as Heyman is absolutely losing his mind. Lesnar is taken out and Strowman wants to know where the Beast is now.

Strowman picks up some steps and decks both guys but Reigns slows him down with a few shots. A shot with the steps has Strowman reeling and a third sends him outside, only to have Joe come in with a rollup for two on Reigns. Roman gets two off the Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch. Strowman is right back in though and a double chokeslam gets two.

The Undertaker chants start up and here’s Brock again. Strowman gets taken down and a running forearm knocks him to the floor. It’s Suplex City time with both Samoans being sent flying. Strowman, with a bloody ear, breaks out of a suplex attempt so Brock goes with the Kimura.

Reigns makes the save with a Superman Punch, followed by another one to both guys. A weird looking spear (Lesnar didn’t really go backwards) gets two on Brock but Reigns gets caught in the Koquina Clutch. That’s broken up by a Strowman dropkick (Cole: “Is there anything he can’t do?”) for two on Joe. The Pop Up Superman Punch gets two more on Strowman and Reigns is almost scared by the kickout.

Braun gets two more off the powerslam with Lesnar making a save. Lesnar can’t F5 Braun but Reigns spears Braun out to the floor, leaving him alone with Brock. Joe is back in with the Clutch on Lesnar but Brock reverses into the F5 for two with Reigns making the save for his only positive reaction of the night. Three straight Superman Punches drop Brock but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain the title at 21:01.

Rating: A. I need a breather. You can tell they’re setting up something special for Strowman here as he didn’t take the pin, nor did he have anyone really get the better of him all match. Lesnar vs. Strowman is REALLY tempting right now and I’d love to see it happen at some big match. Like at Survivor Series or so.

That being said, WOW what a fight. These guys beat the heck out of each other for a long time and Lesnar looked incredibly vulnerable at times. It’s amazing how much better these matches are when he’s not the unstoppable machine and it looks like WWE is starting to learn that. It was great stuff here and Strowman looked like a monster, which is all he needed to be here. The fallout from this is going to be interesting and Reigns taking the fall hopefully means a bit of a downgrade for him.

Lesnar looks like he just fell out of a building to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The first hour of this show was awful and came as close as you can get to sinking what was an otherwise very good show. For once it helps when you have that much more time after the first hour to save things, but hopefully this shows WWE (it won’t) that four hours is too long for a regular show. If you cut out some of the bad stuff, this is a classic. As it is, it’s just a very good show with a great main event. In other words, good, but WWE gets in its own way again.

That being said, I really liked parts of this with the main event obviously blowing away everything else on the show. They have some serious options going forward, assuming they can manage to get Lesnar to show up more than once every few months. Strowman looks like the star of stars at this point and if they don’t do him vs. Lesnar before the end of Wrestlemania XXXIV, they’ve lost their freaking minds. Good show, but it needs an hour or so shaved off to bring it to that next level.

Results

John Cena b. Baron Corbin – Attitude Adjustment

Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter

Big Cass b. Big Show – Empire Elbow

Randy Orton b. Rusev – RKO

Sasha Banks b. Alexa Bliss – Bank Statement

Finn Balor b. Bray Wyatt – Coup de Grace

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Dirty Deeds to Sheamus

AJ Styles b. Kevin Owens – Styles Clash

Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Khallas

Brock Lesnar b. Roman Reigns, Braun Strowman and Samoa Joe – F5 to Reigns

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

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Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33^rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/07/21/new-e-bookpaperback-kbs-complete-monday-night-raw-2002-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6