According to Cena himself on Summerslam.  It’s not really a surprise and probably the best possible option.  This is probably my last Tough Enough related post this year.

Looking at why this rematch with Undertaker is being better received than Lesnar’s other rematch.

One of the keys to Brock Lesnar is spacing out his matches as well as you can. Since he’s been back, Brock has had the following matches:

John Cena – Extreme Rules 2012

HHH – Summerslam 2012

HHH – Wrestlemania XXIX

HHH – Extreme Rules 2013

CM Punk – Summerslam 2013

Big Show – Royal Rumble 2014

Undertaker – Wrestlemania XXX

John Cena – Summerslam 2014

John Cena – Night of Champions 2014

John Cena, Seth Rollins – Royal Rumble 2015

Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns – Wrestlemania XXXI

Kofi Kingston – Beast in the East

Seth Rollins – Battleground 2015

Now, and of course this isn’t an exact science, the two times that people seemed to be getting annoyed with Lesnar’s booking was during the HHH trilogy which never stopped and the Cena feud. The Cena feud is where I want to focus though, as people didn’t seem to mind Cena getting a rematch, but moreso that he got so many in a row.

That’s the key to most of Brock’s feuds and the reason the Undertaker rematch is being fairly well received: it’s been a year and a half since the first match, so Brock has had a chance to fight other people. Brock is still a featured attraction and we want to see him against a variety of opponents. Of course he’s going to have rematches, but you need tp space them out instead of just doing them all in a row. Imagine Rock vs. Austin on three straight pay per views. Sure the matches would be great, but waiting two years instead of four weeks was a huge improvement.

That being said, I’d love to see some extra time between regular feuds too. So many title matches would be better received if we hadn’t seen it just a month earlier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Just felt like throwing it on (and I can because the Network is amazing).  It’s the opening segment with Hogan and Austin and…….dang man.  When the glass shattered, even watching it now, I could feel my heart beating in my chest.  It takes something really special to get me fired up again a year and a half after it happened and knowing it was coming, but this is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen.  As soon as Austin came out I knew Rock was coming next but it couldn’t have been better.

Then later on there’s something else that isn’t given the credit it deserves.  When Lesnar hits the third F5 on Undertaker, Heyman has his evil grin and the cocky look on his face says “yeah I told you so”.  But then when the three count goes down and Brock wins, Heyman is STUNNED.  Sure Heyman thought his man could do it, but then when Brock actually does it, even Heyman is shocked.  That was such an amazing moment.

http://www.wwe.com/inside/layla-retires-from-wwe-27726062

Does it count as news when you haven’t done anything in months if not years?  She’s from that model era of wrestling where the Divas were mostly worthless in the ring and Layla was really just the bubbly one who looked good in small outfits.  There were FAR worse Divas out there and Layla reached a point where she wasn’t too bad.  I’ll give her this too: I saw her at a house show in person and my goodness the cameras don’t do her justice.  She was stunning.

I’m not really even sure what to call this as it’s not so much a rant and there have been FAR more racist statements made by celebrities over the years.  However, it’s still a big story so here we go.

First of all, I don’t want this to turn into a big racism debate and I don’t want to see any comments in that area either.

As for what Hogan said, yeah it’s bad. I understand that it was said in private and that he didn’t know the cameras were on and that he would have never said it publicly, but the fact of the matter is that it’s out there and his intention, meaning or knowledge that it was being recorded do not matter. The statements are out there and Hogan has to live with the consequences.

At the end of the day, what Hogan meant by it doesn’t matter. If Hogan is a racist who hates black people (not saying he is), it doesn’t matter. What matters is that these things were heard and people have already made up their minds about what Hogan meant and said when he thought no one was listening. Every single one of us has said or done something stupid in our lives and lived with the consequences. Hogan is a bigger figure than we are and the consequences are therefore bigger and higher profile for him.

I more than understand why WWE let him go. Given how things are in America at the moment with all the issues in South Carolina and everywhere else, WWE can’t have this kind of thing go unpunished, especially when it’s someone who is really just there as a legend. The comments weren’t good and it’s the only move WWE could make.

So what does this mean for Hogan? Not much really. Time will pass, people will forget, and one day Hogan will be on Raw again for a big anniversary show. It happens to all kinds of celebrities who get caught saying far worse things than Hogan did and the same thing will happen to him. This isn’t the end of Hulkamania or whatever people will be calling it, as Hulkamania has been nostalgia for going on twenty years now. Hogan will be back, just like so many others who have done far worse things. His fans will forgive him and that’s really all there is to it.

In case you haven’t seen it, here’s Hogan’s official statement on the rant, as given to People.com.

“Eight years ago I used offensive language during a conversation. It was unacceptable for me to have used that offensive language; there is no excuse for it; and I apologize for having done it…” 

“This is not who I am. I believe very strongly that every person in the world is important and should not be treated differently based on race, gender, orientation, religious beliefs or otherwise…”

“I am disappointed with myself that I used language that is offensive and inconsistent with my own beliefs.”

http://www.wwe.com/shows/wwebattleground/ryback-injured-27658773

Sounds legit.  I’d assume we get Miz vs. Big Show or a talking segment, but I’d love it if their time was given to Cesaro and/or Rusev.  Those guys deserve it after their performances Monday, and I’m sure a lot of fans will be annoyed if they don’t make it on but Barrett vs. Truth for the crown makes it instead.

Saturday Night’s Main Event #2
Date: October 5, 1985
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

One of the best things about the first episode of this series was how few names were used. There was the opening six man tag, the four wrestlers (and Mr. T.) in the Piper’s Pit and title match, the girls and Junkyard Dog. That leaves a huge cast of characters to look at in upcoming episodes and that’s exactly what we’re going to do here. This episode has several of the people on the first show but also a bunch of other names that we haven’t seen yet. Let’s get to it.

Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie promise to take the WWF World Title back to Russia and then push the missile button to destroy us all. Volkoff and Sheik have lost the Tag Team Titles to the US Express, who have since lost them to the Dream Team, who we’ll be seeing later.

Hulk Hogan tells America not to worry.

Hillbilly Jim, Cousin Luke and Uncle Elmer (the resident hillbillies) are ready for Elmer’s wedding and the reception later tonight. Piper comes in and mocks the whole thing.

Opening sequence, again with different people than last time but still ending with Hogan.

Vince and Jesse run down the card. Ventura thinks the wedding is going to be boring.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff

We get the Russian national anthem and Real American Hulk Hogan actually doesn’t interrupt. Instead we get an on the floor promo from Hogan, who hates seeing the Russian flag flying in an American ring. He’ll be carrying the Stars and Stripes to the ring and promises that it’s the only flag you’ll see after the match is over. Hogan actually comes to the ring to Stars and Stripes Forever instead of Real American in a nice touch.

The evil Russian jumps the champ before the bell and chokes him with a shirt. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle though and hammers away in the corner before nailing a hard running clothesline. Some headbutts and right hands put Volkoff down again and a boot to the chest puts him onto the timekeeper’s table. Volkoff lands on the bell, causing it to ring in a funny bit.

Nikolai sends Hulk into the post to take over though and stomps away on the back inside. The gorilla press (not the full version) backbreaker plants Hogan but Volkoff doesn’t go for the cover. Hulk powers out of an over the shoulder backbreaker but Nikolai pounds him back down again. A slam gets two and it’s Hulk Up time. Hulk avoids a charge in the corner and the big leg is enough to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Again, the idea here was to get Hogan on free TV but this was short and dull for the most part. Volkoff was pretty much just a strong oaf who could talk about how great Russia was and then get beaten up by a real American. It was a simpler time, but it would have been nice to have someone that could have had a better match than Volkoff.

Hogan spits on the Russian flag and throws it on the ground.

Post break Hogan says he’d love to beat up Volkoff again and calls him baby doll. Hogan is ready for the wedding as well.

The bride is getting ready.

The Hillbillies aren’t worried about anything they have to do tonight.

Jerry Valiant vs. Uncle Elmer

The bell rings, Elmer slams him and gets the pin. It barely broke ten seconds and is announced as a new record of six seconds.

We see the King Kong Bundy vs. SD Jones match from Wrestlemania I that held the old record of nine seconds, even though it was more like twenty one. I still don’t know how they got nine out of that.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is here and it’s really not treated as that big of a deal.

It’s time for Jesse Ventura’s Body Shop interview segment. His guest is Bobby Heenan, who has issued a $50,000 bounty on the head of former client Paul Orndorff. Heenan suggests that Orndorff just retire instead of try to fight back.

Orndorff doesn’t think the bounty is anything to worry about and laughs at the idea that Piper is already spending the money.

Piper says he’ll rip Heenan’s throat out if he doesn’t pay off. Tonight he can make some money and get rid of someone he can’t stand. He also doesn’t think Elmer should get married because it means he could reproduce and who would want that?

Roddy Piper vs. Paul Orndorff

Piper comes out to a full pipe and drums band. It’s a brawl to start with Piper going right at it like the fighting villain that he is. A boot to the face puts Orndorff down and Piper rams his head into the mat over and over. Orndorff comes back and hammers away before they start ripping at each others’ faces. Piper keeps stomping away as the fans all stand up to look at something in the audience.

The guys head outside with Orndorff throwing a chair back inside but coming in with a shot to the head. A belly to back suplex drops Roddy but he comes back with a poke to the eye and a kneelift. They hit heads and Orndorff gets up first, nailing a cross body to take both guys outside. Neither guy cares about the count and they brawl up the aisle for the double countout.

Rating: C+. Really fun brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other until they went to the appropriate ending. In theory this sets up a big series of matches on house shows where they could have a real winner. These two had great chemistry together and this was very fun stuff.

It’s time for the wedding with Okerlund playing the organ and Uncle Elmer in his overalls and a tie. The wrestlers are the wedding party with Andre in his tights and Hogan in a sleeveless shirt and bow tie. The minister calls the groom Uncle Elmer and everything goes fine until Elmer can’t understand the minister and messes up the vows.

Roddy Piper interrupts and says there’s no room for romance in wrestling. That goes nowhere as the wedding goes on without any major hitch. This went on for a good while and never really did anything of note. In theory it was supposed to be funny but it never reached that point. From what I’ve read, this was an actual wedding rather than just a storyline.

Some pigs and chickens are running around the reception area.

Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy, Heenan’s pair of giants, say they’re going to prove that they’re the real giants of wrestling instead of Andre. They recently cut Andre’s hair to give him his best remembered look.

Tony Atlas/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/King King Bundy

Atlas is a power wrestler. This was set up when Andre was beaten down by the giants, so Atlas is here to help him out. Andre chokes Bundy to start and takes him into the corner for some big hip shots. Off to Atlas who is easily knocked over with a shoulder but avoids a splash. Studd comes in and drills Tony with a shoulder of his own but gets rocked by some headbutts.

Tony misses a dropkick though and John stomps away. Bundy gets in a cheap shot when Andre goes after Studd, but Tony crawls over for the tag a few seconds later. We get an awkward sequence as Andre doesn’t seem sure of what to do before he just lays on Studd against the ropes. A big boot sends John outside but Bundy comes in with a cheap shot. Studd rams Atlas into the post and the giants double team Andre for a double DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but it was designed to set up something later on. At the end of the day, Atlas just wasn’t much of a partner for Andre as he needed someone a bit bigger to hang in there with monsters like Bundy and Studd. The match wasn’t anything to see but it advanced a major story.

Hogan comes in to save his old friend Andre, setting up another showdown later on.

Gene Okerlund, in safari gear, is on a hunt. Granted the tiger print jeep doesn’t do much for his camouflage. Apparently he’s hunting for George Steele and has been told to look in the Detroit Zoological Park. Steele is right there and hasn’t been seen since undergoing shock treatment, which gave him the ability to speak for a few moments before another shock turned him back to his normal self. He and Gene look at some animals, including a tiger (Steele: “Detroit!”), a weasel (“Heenan!”) and a hippopotamus (“Bundy!”). George runs off into some bushes. I miss these segments outside the arena as they make things a bit more interesting.

The new Tag Team Champions the Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) are willing to fight anyone. We see a clip of Brutus blinding Barry Windham to win the titles. Barry and Rotundo will be sitting ringside for the match.

Tag Team Titles: Dream Team vs. Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo

Garea is an old timer and five time Tag Team Champion. Poffo is more famous as the Genius and Randy Savage’s brother. Valentine easily slams Lanny down and works on a headlock before tagging in Brutus. Poffy quickly fights back and drops both guys before getting two off a moonsault to Beefcake. The champs work over Poffo in the corner but he finally dives over and tags in Garea. Tony speeds things up for a bit and takes over until Beefcake gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Valentine to put on the Figure Four to retain the titles. Windham and Rotundo didn’t do a thing.

Rating: D+. Total squash again here with the champs never being in anything resembling danger. Then again they were in there against a couple of jobbers so the ending never was in much doubt. The division was about to take off in another year or so with the Dream Team being one of the last teams of the old era.

We go to the wedding reception where Jesse is writing a poem for the bride and groom. Hogan thinks this could launch Elmer to the top of the WWF. Lou Albano is eating with Cousin Luke and tries to teach him some manners. Poffo, still sweaty and in his gear, reads a poem of his own for the couple, ending it with a plug for NBC. Hillbilly Jim says he’s open for dinner invites every Sunday.

There’s a special guest: Tiny Tim! Who is that you ask? Well he’s a guy who had a novelty song called Tiptoe Through The Tulips which he sang while playing his ukelele. Tim was involved in a nationally televised wedding before this and has been mentioned throughout the night. He gives Elmer a ukelele and that’s it for Tim tonight.

Jesse reads his poem and calls the whole thing wrong. Wrestling and romance don’t belong together so all the good guys throw him into a cake to end the show.

After a break, Vince announces Hogan/Andre vs. Bundy/Studd on the next show, a month from tonight. Hogan is excited about the match and we go to our last break before dancing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as most of it was based around the wedding and it really wasn’t all that entertaining. Why should I care about a comedy character getting married on national TV? It comes off like nothing but a ratings ploy, which really shouldn’t be necessary on the second show of a series.

The wrestling wasn’t much better here as most of the matches were either really quick or just there to set up something later on down the line. Thankfully it’s a short line with only a month before the next episode. The Hogan and Andre team is going to wind up being something important, but we’re a good way off from that. Bad episode here though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Oh now this could be fun. So what we have here is a set of instructions given to the announcers from a few years back. It should be VERY interesting to see some of these details and the rules/ideas they’re told to follow. I’ve read through the list and a lot of them aren’t worth commenting on, but there are some major points of interest. Check out the whole list as it’s interesting information that you will likely say “THANK YOU!” to more than once, but here are some highlights. All of the following are direct quotes.

Note that these are from 2011 at the latest so not everything is going to be completely up to date but it’s nothing out of the ordinary.  Here are the originals if you want to see them:

http://imgur.com/a/NW1WG#DWVb3Il

1. Play by play announcers cannot be emasculated by their broadcast partners.

WOW. They’re getting right to the hypocritical nature of this right off the bat. After all the time that we had to hear Cole rip on JR (even making it a recurring in ring segment), they actually told them beforehand to not emasculate their colleagues. Does Cole work on a different planet or something?

2. Announcers should rarely lead our fans. Let them decide for themselves if they like a Superstar or dislike him.

Yeah screw that face/heel stuff. I know Orton kissed HHH’s unconscious wife and lied about some mental disorder, but does that really make him a bad guy?

3. Announcers ARE NOT THE STARS.

I think we’ve covered this already but dang did they switch this up soon when Vince started liking Cole as Miz’s fanboy.

4. All announcers must read WWE.com every week.

That’s actually a really smart one. Announcers should sound like they know what they’re talking about and should be the experts guiding us through the shows. This is hammered in multiple times and is a very, very good idea.

5. Never assume the viewer watched last week’s broadcast or that they watch any of the other of the WWE brands.

This is one that a lot of big fans forget. Yeah we watch most of if not all of the shows, but there’s always someone flipping through the channels who might not have ever seen a wrestling show before. If they watch it and have no idea what’s going on, why would they keep watching? Get them hooked in and keep saying the details. You don’t have to recap everything, but “Owens has disrespected Cena week after week and Cena wants revenge” tells you almost everything you need to know about their feud in five seconds. Throwing in “Owens, on your left and Cena on your right” wouldn’t hurt either.

6. This is television, not radio. We don’t need to call every move a Superstar makes.

A-FREAKING-MEN! This used to drive me crazy about Joey Styles. I can see what’s going on and I don’t need to be told every single freaking thing that is going on. Cut that nonsense out.

7. DON’T SCREAM!

Yeah yeah yeah we know. You hate Jim Ross and think he was the worst thing ever. Let it go already.

8. Don’t call a move before it happens. If this is so predictable, why are we watching?

Dang Maggle. Steve Austin just kicked someone in the stomach and grabbed their head. You think he might be going for a snapmare next?

9. Our fans are always interested in what happens “in the locker room” or “away from the arena.”

Yes they are. What they’re not interested in is WWE trying to jack up their social media numbers by showing Ambrose walking around with the title on Instagram. Why you ask? BECAUSE NOT EVERYONE IS ON FREAKING INSTAGRAM AND NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA NUMBERS!

10. Humor is good when it is used in a timely fashion. We are there primarily to inform and entertain.

Wait….so this is Vince’s vision of NOT being funny? Who says that man is out of touch?

11. Do not use pronouns.

This is a rare occasion where speaking like Stephanie is a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with saying “Cena is in trouble” over and over, but you don’t have to use the proper names for everything.

12. Everyone hates being told what to think.

The hypocrisy here speaks for itself.

13. Nobody knows dates, everybody knows when “in two weeks”, “tomorrow”, etc is.

Yes, because everyone on the planet sees this show at the exact same time on the exact same day of the week right? Also, it doesn’t help when on Raw, you say a pay per view is in two weeks when it’s a week and six days. That’s not two weeks, no matter how many times you say it is. Yeah I know what you mean, but if someone is new at this, how do they know when it is? They’re watching this show on Monday, so why would they not think that a big show is going to be taking place in two weeks instead of a regular Raw? “Well that’s not how it works.” Really? It’s how NXT works. Why should a fan think Raw is different?

Words to Avoid

Belt/strap. This has been around for a long time and it’s still stupid. No one cares.

The business/our industry. Unless you’re HHH right?

War. Unless you’re HHH right?

Shot (no title shots). As I have said many times, WHO COULD POSSIBLY CARE ABOUT THIS???

Now for some memos.

Per Kevin Dunn: “Please never use the words “title changing hands” again. Titles are won or lost, they don’t change hands.”

As has been said time after time: Kevin Dunn is an idiot.

Sent by Steph: “Vince would like to reinforce to all announcers NOT to say “the referee didn’t see it” when the referee didn’t see an illegal action. It makes the product feel cheap, like we’re in grade school. It is ok to say “the referee’s vision was impaired”. Or “the referee’s vision was blocked”…

Cheap? How does this make it sound cheap? Or for that matter how does it make us sound like we’re in grade school?

The levels of micromanagement this company has astounds me. I mean, not being able to say a referee didn’t see something? That’s the biggest worry they have? I can easily see why no one wants to stick around on this job and I continue to praise Cole’s ability to not put a gun in his mouth.

Beast in the East
Date: July 4, 2015
Location: Ryugoku Sumo Hall, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

This is one of those times where the WWE Network shows how amazing it really is. Instead of a pay per view or TV show, they’ve basically sent cameras to film a major house show and we get to watch it because we’re lucky that we have the Network in our lives. The main draw is of course Brock Lesnar in a rare match as he faces Kofi Kingston in what could be a lot of fun. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the only two things that matter: Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens and Brock Lesnar. Does anything else matter?

It’s a really basic set with a short aisle and a square Titantron. I like that.

Neville vs. Chris Jericho

That’s quite the opener. The fans are mainly behind Jericho but the LET’S GO NEVILLE chants sneak in there. Feeling out process to start with Jericho working on a wristlock but getting sent out to the floor for his efforts. Back in and we hit a bow and arrow hold on Neville, only to have him flip over into a cover for two.

They’re working a nice technical style to start here. Cole talks about their histories and my mind is blown as we hear about Dragon Gate and FMW on WWE programming. Back up and Neville tries some flips, only to be sent out to the floor. The springboard dropkick puts him down again and the fans are eating up some Canadian hero.

We hit the chinlock back inside as Jericho is working a very simple heel style while still being a face for the crowd. An enziguri gets two on Neville. Cole: “And now Neville may be the one heading back to the locker room.” So is Jericho just going to stand out there if he wins? It’s not the worst idea in the world but as usual, Cole doesn’t think before he speaks. Neville fights back up and goes to the top but Jericho is right there waiting to knock him down. Very nicely done there as you can see the story they’re telling here.

Jericho’s superplex is countered but he has to roll through a Red Arrow attempt. A try at a hurricanrana goes even worse as Jericho counters into the Walls for a very solid reaction from the crowd. The ropes are quickly grabbed though and Neville hits a quick dropkick and standing shooting star for two. Jericho forearms him down and hits the Lionsault for the same. The Codebreaker connects but Jericho takes his time covering so we keep going. Neville pops back up with the delayed German and a superkick but the Red Arrow hits knees, setting up the Liontamer (yes Liontamer) for the submission at 16:13.

Rating: B. Huh? They spent the entire match setting up Neville’s big comeback to beat Jericho and then they have him win? I’m not sure on that one but at least Neville looked great in there. I was really digging the story they were going with here Jericho being one step ahead of Neville and cutting him off at every turn while treating him as someone beneath him with all of his cockiness. Good match with a questionable result but the fans dug the heck out of the Liontamer so points for giving them something to cheer for. Jericho was the heel here, but it was very basic at best.

Brock is here.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Tamina vs. Paige

Nikki is defending and it could be interesting to hear how the fans treat this one. Cole, ever the genius, calls the former Women’s Champion Bull Nakana (it’s Nakano, as Byron Saxton corrects him. Yes, Byron Saxton is the smart one on this team). Paige takes over to start but actually works with Nikki to suplex Tamina. You know, because Tamina is so big that you can’t suplex her.

Nikki takes over as you can hear some very loud spots being called. The champ loads up a superplex but the referee is nice enough to tell Tamina to get back in so she can do the Tower of Doom. Tamina gets sent outside again though because she really has no reason to be here other than likely taking the fall later. The Rampaige gets two on Nikki because she killed that move during one of their title matches. It’s Tamina in again though with a superkick to Paige but Nikki rolls away from the Superfly Splash, setting up the forearm to retain at 7:13.

Rating: C-. This was fine and basically a Raw Divas match. Nikki is pretty clearly getting the Divas Title record because it’s going to make us forget about AJ Lee or something like that, because only WWE really cares about these things. You can see the other Divas having to take it back a notch to let her keep up, but Nikki is a lot better than she used to be.

Brock Lesnar video, which might as well be Kofi’s last rites.

Kofi Kingston vs. Brock Lesnar

Just Kofi here and surprisingly no Heyman. For some reason I don’t see him as being a big deal in Japan. Kofi is smart enough to bail to the floor to start and we’re told that New Day’s tag match took place before the show went on the air. I was wondering how they were going to be able to fit the whole seven match card in two hours, but did anyone really need to see New Day vs. Lucha Dragons? Cole mentions Brock being the IWGP Heavyweight Champion, which is always interesting to hear in WWE.

The chase is on for a few seconds but the inevitable beating quickly begins. Kofi’s cross body works as well as you would expect it to work and a dropkick to the back just annoys Brock even more. Kofi flips out of a German and goes after the knee for as much effect as it’s going to have. There’s the first German though and the Japanese fans chant SUPLEX CITY. German #2 makes Kofi’s hair bounce in a good bit. The fans try to cheer for Kingston so Brock just destroys him with the F5 for the pin at 2:58. This was exactly what it should have been.

Brock throws in a few more Germans because he can, followed by some F5’s to an invading New Day. Again, this is exactly what it should have been.

In case you’re wondering about the other two advertised matches, Cesaro beat Diego by submission and the Lucha Dragons pinned the New Day in dark matches.

Quick recap of the NXT Title match, which should be main eventing but instead we’re getting a lame tag match because that’s how WWE works. Anyway, Finn Balor made his name in Japan and is coming back home as the Demon to take the title from NXT Champion Kevin Owens. Kevin simply said it’s not going to happen.

NXT Title: Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens

We get the Demon entrance and oh yes it’s still glorious. For a bonus, the camera changes to an arena shot at the crescendos of the music. To make it feel even more special, we get the full on flower presentation from geisha girls (Owens throws his into the crowd of course) and streamers for both guys. Get this through your head ROH: doing the same thing for every match doesn’t make it feel more special. Hideo Itami is shown in the front row and we’re ready to start. Balor has more paint than ever with his face, torso and left leg covered.

Balor charges at the bell and loads up the Coup de Grace in the first ten seconds. Owens rolls outside so Balor nails a big dive as the NXT chants start up. He tries to bail again and eats a baseball slide as Balor is all over him. Back in and Owens hammers away to take over for the first time. Owens: “AND THAT’S WHY I’M THE CHAMP!” We hear more of Balor’s accomplishments in New Japan as Owens takes some bows.

It’s off to Chinlock City before a forearm breaks up Balor’s springboard. The slow pace is working for Kevin here and it fits him very well. Finn beats the count back in but takes the backsplash for two. Back in and Owens snapmares him down and runs the ropes….before stopping for a chinlock. Owens: “Are you not impressed? I don’t care. I hate this country and all its stupid people!” Balor fights back again with a middle rope forearm for two so Owens does Cena’s finishing sequence, complete with an attempted AA.

Balor is afraid of a lawsuit over gimmick infringement (only Kurt Angle can steal that many finishers) and slips out twice in a row. Bloody Sunday is teased (and the fans gasp) but it’s a Pele Kick to put Owens down instead. Owens takes a big flip dive and a top rope double stomp to the back, followed by a reverse Bloody Sunday (not called that of course) for a VERY close two. The Coup de Grace misses though and Owens’ Cannonball gets two. The package piledriver slam gets the same but Balor hits a quick Sling Blade.

Another Coup de Grace is countered so Balor kicks him in the head and FINALLY connects with the stomp….for two. Dang I thought that was it. Owens can’t hit the swinging fisherman’s superplex so he settles for a middle rope Regal Roll for two. That looked great. Kevin’s Swanton hits knees and the real Bloody Sunday gets an even closer two. They’re trading bombs here and it’s getting awesome. Owens makes the eternal mistake of slapping a hero in the face and saying the hero can’t beat him. Balor dropkicks him into the corner, hits a running corner dropkick and a second Coup de Grace for the title at 19:30.

Rating: B+. Was there ever any doubt that this was going to be awesome? Owens is one of the best heels that I’ve seen in years and he does everything he can do to make you hate him. The fact that he can go as well as he does in the ring makes him even better, which is saying quite a bit as he’s that good as a character.

Tatsumi Fujinami comes in to congratulate the new champion. Owens of course refuses a handshake because he’s a true heel.

Kane/King Barrett vs. John Cena/Dolph Ziggler

Here’s a match that no one wants to see because it’s lame even by house show standards band WWE didn’t think this stuff through. And Lana isn’t even here, though to be fair she wouldn’t make sense out there with Cena. Ziggler shoulders Barrett down to start so it’s off to the power guys, meaning Kane gets to bore main event crowds in a new country. Cole: “Cena has restored credibility to what many would admit was a rather stagnant United States Title.” Oh yeah Vince isn’t listening.

Cena slugs away at Kane for no effect, just as he’s done about 194 times over the years. Maybe if we’re lucky Kane will break a hole in the ring and be a demon/monster again. Barrett chinlocks Cena before it’s back to Kane, who bores the announcers so much that they start name dropping Japanese wrestlers and co-promoted shows. Cole: “It’s amazing to know that COO HHH is watching this show live.” No Cole, it isn’t.

Barrett comes back in for some big right hands as the announcers keep trying to find ANYTHING to talk about here. Another Barrett chinlock slows things down even more but Cena comes back with an AA to a very limited reaction. Kane breaks up the tag but can’t hit a chokeslam, so Cena, ever the genius, tries an AA. Since it’s against Kane though, the powers of history and Cena’s strength don’t work because Cena can usually do that on Henry and Big Show but can’t handle the 100lb lighter man.

ANOTHER chinlock makes the match drag on even further but Barrett misses an elbow to finally allow Ziggler to get the hot tag. Dolph cleans house….and gets taken down again so this match can keep going for reasons I do not understand. Just let Cena AA Barrett for the pin already. We hit the double arm stretch on Dolph before Winds of Changes is countered into a crucifix for two. The FIFTH chinlock of this match is followed by Barrett’s apron knees and yet another chinlock.

Winds of Change stops Ziggler again and Kane does the old Arn Anderson drop down onto the back until he crotches himself. Now usually that would mean a hot tag, but why do that when you can have Kane hit a big boot and a double back elbow from the heels to keep this going? The chokeslam is countered and Ziggler finally hits the jumping DDT for the hot tag. Cena AA’s Kane with ease (because this match has erased the last ten minutes from history) and hits another on Barrett for the pin at a mind numbing 23:52.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even horrible but you could have cut out at least ten minutes of this and done the exact same match. Rusev would have made a lot more sense than Barrett but for some reason they didn’t change this match to ANYTHING else. The time was the real problem here as it went on forever and the chinlocks killed any interest there might have been here.

A big celebration ends the show. Cole: “You and I actually trended on Twitter tonight!” Is there really any other way to end this? Thankfully the last shot of the show is Balor holding up the title.

Overall Rating: B. Here’s the thing: this show had two goals to take care of: Brock Lesnar being all destructive and a good NXT Title match with Balor getting the belt. They nailed those two things to near perfection, so anything else was a bonus. Luckily there was a good opener and a fine Divas match, but that main event killed a lot of the energy the show had. They really should have aired one of the other matches in its place, because that was the completely wrong choice to end the show. This should have ended with Balor pinning Owens, not a lame tag match. Still though, really fun stuff for a glorified house show.

Results

Chris Jericho b. Neville – Red Arrow

Nikki Bella b. Paige and Tamina – Forearm to Tamina

Brock Lesnar b. Kofi Kingston – F5

Finn Balor b. Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace

John Cena/Dolph Ziggler b. Kane/King Barrett – AA to Barrett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thanks to NSL for pointing this out, which he did due to the recommendation from Wrestling Wars, which you should all be listening to. Back at King of the Ring 2001, Kurt Angle suplexed Shane McMahon over and over and over.  JR’s description: “Angle is taking Shane McMahon to Suplex City.”