Happy Birthday Vince McMahon

Dude looks pretty good for 68.




E-Mail About Bryan

I think I might start posting some emails I get from readers and my responses to them. If nothing else it’s better than replying to them in the comments.

Greetings! Once again, here I come with the need to pick your brain, if I’m allowed to do so..

Last Raw, Daniel Bryan was the main focus of Raw and WWE did a fine job establishing new obstacles for him to go through to get to the top of the mountain. Randy Orton, Triple H and the McMahons as a whole are those new obstacles. The argument that being screwed on Summerslam was the best thing for Bryan was proven right on that Raw, at least, with the fans standing firmly behind him. The fans and their support are the reason why Bryan is getting this investment from WWE.

My question is, if Bryan doesn’t overcome all the obstacles WWE is putting in front of him, do you think he is in any sort of danger of losing steem and support from fans? I don’t believe WWE will downright kill it, because if they wanted to do that, they would’ve done it a long time ago. But, I am concerned over the fact that they may accidentatly hurt it.

What I mean by this is that, while Bryan beating Orton is something that I can see happening, I don’t think Bryan will beat HHH – for known reasons – if they should face. If HHH beats Bryan, because I have a feeling HHH will get into this just like he did with Punk, do you think Bryan’s fanbase will remain strong or as strong as it is right now?

In your opinion, is Bryan a strong main-event figure enough to overcome the possible mistakes WWE does witht his storyline? Another question, I know it’s months away and a lot can happen from now to then, but now where do you see Bryan at WMXXX?

 

Feel free to pick my brain any time.  Just don’t eat it as that could be a sign of the zombie apocalypse.

Anyway, yeah I think it could be a problem with Bryan losing steam.  At the end of the day, we just sat through three months of Bryan proving himself and now he has to do it again.  That’s too much to ask for almost any storyline, no matter how loudly the fans are cheering for him.  I can’t picture Bryan beating HHH either, but that would be the big holy grail for him.  Wrestlemania is too far away to predict but I would see Bryan in the WHC picture by then.  Just a hunch.

 

Also if anyone wants to e-mail me, my address is kbwrestlingreviews@hotmail.com.  It might take a day or so to reply but I’ll get there eventually I assure you.




On This Day: August 18, 2007 – Saturday Night’s Main Event #35: How Did The Show Last This Long?

Saturday Nights Main Event 35
Date: August 18, 2007
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jim Ross

Again we’re setting up for Summerslam here which was a pretty decent show at the end of the day. Again though there’s very little effort put into this one seemingly although we do have an hour and a half here instead of an hour like last time so this should be a bit better in theory.

We’re looking for Vince’s son here which could have been great but Kennedy screwed it up and since WWE had zero patience they messed it up. Also Evander Holyfield is fighting Matt Hardy in a boxing match here. Let’s get to it so I can get to the next show quickly.

We open Coach and Vince setting up the story of the illegitimate son and saying tonight they’ll be going through most of the roster. See how that one thing tying the whole show together could help the whole show get a bit better? Coach implies he could be the son and Vince says it’s going to be a long night. You can feel like this is at least a decent show on paper as we’re in the world’s most famous arena and Vince is here. That just makes the show feel bigger.

Batista/Kane vs. Great Khali/Finlay

Khali is champion here and Finlay is about to turn face in a few months. Batista would get the his shot at Summerslam while Kane and Finlay would have a fight there too that sucked. The faces beat the tar out of Finlay before we go to commercial and come back to have Khali beating up Kane. Khali puts the claw on the injured ribs. My head hurts. He’s just squeezing his side. Could he be any lazier? I mean come on now.

If you ever want a reason to know what Khali is said to be unable to wrestle, HERE IT IS! GOOD NIGHT that was a poorly worded sentence. Batista comes in and beats up Finlay. And here’s Horny who is a heel here so Batista just throws him into Kane. They get Khali tied up in the ropes and just ram Horny into him like a battering ram. That was funny actually. A double chokeslam on Khali leads to Finlay being ended with Batista’s usual stuff.

Rating: C. This could have main evented any given Smackdown if you added three minutes to it. It was fine for what it was and it came off pretty well I guess. It’s certainly not a great match but it works for an 8 minute long show on a completely thrown away show I guess.

Vince is looking in a mirror and it turns into a picture of him from the 80s. Simmons shows up to say his one line. That made NO sense.

HHH is coming back at Summerslam.

Holyfield talks to MVP about nothing in particular.

Coach and Vince are in the ring and it’s time for another of the illegitimate son angles. These were funny at first but at the same time they more or less didn’t know who they were going with once Kennedy got suspended and it just got stupid. Coach talks about Vince’s sex life and Vince snaps at him. That made me chuckle for some reason. Coach thinks that the child could be from Kentucky. WOOT!

And it’s Eugene, which would mean that Vince screwed Bischoff’s sister. That seems a bit too stupid to believe. Vince says he slept with a woman, not his cousin. They mention Uncle Eric and apparently Eric got into wrestling for Vince nailing his sister. That’s creative if nothing else.

Good night they messed up that character to the moon and back. Coach asks Vince if he remembers the Mania 2 after party in LA (even though Vince was in the New York portion of the show but whatever) and Melina is brought out. Both seem very nervous and it’s implied they slept together. Can I get a Mackenzie Phillips joke? Coach says he has one more and Vince insists they come out.

Cue glass shattering and an eruption from the crowd. Austin wearing sneakers just doesn’t look right for some reason. They had to go here eventually and I can’t blame them. These two simply belong together. Austin looks like he’s in great shape as compared to when he was in the ring.

He says that Vince could have been a good dad and lists off some things that Vince might have been able to do with him, including talking about the birds and the bees. This is amusing if nothing else for the look on the face of Vince, and Austin is always good for a one off appearance.

The fans pop at the idea of a Stunner. Coach gets it after Vince takes two low blows “to calm down his grapefruits”. Beer is consumed and is poured on Vince’s balls. Of course Vince gets a Stunner as well. Apparently Balls Mahoney was in this segment as well but was edited out for time I guess.

Holyfield is still warming up.

John Cena vs. Carlito

These two always wind up together for some reason. They had split two matches thanks to Orton and this is match #3. Well it’s quick if nothing else. This is exactly what you would expect from these guys as they have a decent little match but there’s nothing at all to get excited about. Carlito starts in control and the comeback hits for the STFU tap out. Orton comes in and gets a belt shot in and an RKO on a chair. Wow they actually did storyline advancement. I’m in shock.

Rating: D+. This was ok at best and bad at worst. It’s also about 5 minutes long so there was just no meat here at all. This was pretty weak though. It did however close an angle and builds on Orton vs. Cena so that was a major perk. Still though, not very entertaining.

And now we replay half the match for no apparent reason.

Orton says he’s coming for Cena at Summerslam.

A bunch of the Divas are here to watch the boxing. I can’t believe they’re going through with this.

Matt Hardy vs. Evander Holyfield

Again, this is boxing. They call Holyfield the best ever. He wasn’t even the best of the 90s. This was about contest #298 between MVP and Hardy as Hardy was supposed to fight MVP but since both guys kept getting hurt and he couldn’t beat MVP for the US Title like he was supposed to. Michael Buffer is here. Come on man you have a career man!

Oh Holyfield has a title fight for one of about 4 world titles floating around at this time. The idiocy of this astounds me. In case you don’t get why, Holyfield is one of the best boxers in the last 40 years, but apparently a guy that has never boxed in his life is supposed to stand chance against him.

There is no reason this should go past 30 seconds in any sort of reality. Holyfield has no headgear on while Hardy does. That helps a tiny bit I guess. After a video package on Hardy we’re back. The rounds are two minutes long. And Hardy is in trouble 20 seconds in. That’s better than nothing I guess.

He’s down again after a minute. He’s down again after a minute and a half. This needs to end like now. Hardy is either a heck of an actor or he got the tar knocked out of him. Oh the Divas are the ring girls. I got it. Holyfield refuses to punch him anymore. Ok that’s better than nothing if nothing else. MVP tells him to attack so he gets punched.

Rating: N/A. This was very odd but of course they gave it more time than anything else tonight. At least Holyfield completely dominated so that’s better than nothing.

Tazz comes out for commentary.

CM Punk/Boogeyman vs. John Morrison/Big Daddy V

These two both had matches at Summerslam I think. Scratch that, only the two with talent had a match. This is about as boring of a tag match as I could imagine. There’s nothing of note happening as it’s Morrison for about 90% of this as BDV is so freaking fat that he can’t move much let alone have a good match.

This is more or less all Punk and Morrison which makes sense if nothing else. It was really short if nothing else and they actually had a commercial in here. This was very boring though and nothing of note is happening. And Punk gets a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. I just wanted this to end at this point. There was nothing at all of note going on and they were just out there to fill in time. The match did I guess give Punk momentum going into Summerslam so I’ll give them that. Still a very poor match though.

A video highlight reel of the show ends us.

Overall Rating: D. Well there was some ok stuff here I guess. Nothing great happened here though and more or less you could have skipped this show and been fine. That’s what I did and I was fine on the next shows. Not a good show at all but it could have been far worse, like the next one. The show and concept were dead at this point though and it showed badly.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




John Cena Out 4-6 Months

Announced tonight on Raw.  Apparently his elbow is messed up because of a torn tricep.

 

With Sheamus and Cena both out, the question is who takes their places.  Punk and Bryan would seem to be the top guys on Raw but who moves up on Smackdown?  Ziggler?




Raw 10th Anniversary Special: Shame On WWE For This

Raw 10th Anniversary
Date: January 14, 2003
Location: The World, New York City, New York
Hosts: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is a very different kind of show in that there’s nothing original on it. It’s basically an awards show/retrospective of the first ten years of Monday Night Raw with people coming back and talking about memories. This show is remembered very badly for a variety of reasons we’ll get into here. I’m not sure how well the reviewing here can go but it’s worth a shot. Let’s get to it.

Since there’s nothing to rate, this is going to be me recapping everything and giving my take on it as it happens. You’ll get the idea.

The opening video is a mashup of all the old intros to WWF programing in the last ten years. Nice touch.

Highlight package of the first year of Raw which I really need to get to someday. This transitions into a video on the entire ten years with a big focus on the Attitude Era. Yeah if you’re looking for ANYTHING from 1994-1996, you’re in the wrong place. The video is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock to really hammer in the annoyance factor.

JR and King welcome us to the show. We’re going to get a top ten moments in Raw history. Oh this is going to be GOOD.

Our first award is Diva of the Decade presented by Shawn Michaels. Before we get to the award we get through the storyline stuff with Shawn talking about being the #1 entrance in the Rumble. Shawn makes fat jokes about Bertha Faye (killed herself about a year and a half before this) and Bull Nakano who most fans likely don’t remember.

The nominees are Sable (should win), Sunny (not a bad choice), Trish Stratus (Fine in modern times, absurd in 2003), Lita (not even the best Diva in 2003) and Chyna (not happening but there’s a minor case for her). The winner: Trish Stratus. You know, the chick who hasn’t even been around for three years at this point, hasn’t even wrestled for two years, and hasn’t been any good for a year.

Sable closed out Raw in 1998 on multiple occasions but Trish wins, presumably because she’s here. Her dress is barely there which helps a bit, but this is going to be a mess for the next two hours. Moolah is in the audience and looks asleep. Trish also thanks Fit Finlay who did some great things with the Divas. He hadn’t done them yet but I don’t think anyone cares about stuff like common sense tonight.

The #10 moment is This Is Your Life Rock. That should be WAY higher, as in like top three at worst.

Shane McMahon presents the Don’t Try This At Home award, which is for the biggest bump. The crowd keeps cutting him off until we get to the nominees: Big Show chokeslamming Undertaker through the ring, Jeff Hardy in TLC 3 (no specific bump), the Dudleyz powerbombing Mae Young off the stage through a table, (that was awesome but not memorable) or Kurt Angle missing the moonsault off the cage to Benoit.

Angle wins, in another bad decision. It’s not as bad as the previous one but the winner should have been something like the Outlaws shoving Foley and Funk off the stage in the dumpster. It’s memorable, it was big and it set up future stuff. Big Show was on his way up to the podium when Angle’s name was announced. Angle, Haas and Benjamin celebrate and hold up an American flag but get played off by the music before Kurt gets too far into a speech about high school.

Stacy introduces the list of bad gimmicks from over the years, which is too long to list. Think of almost any stupid gimmick from the 1990s and it’s here. Here’s the thing though: a lot of them (IRS for example) were fine gimmicks that lasted for YEARS but now they’re stupid? WWF didn’t mind putting them on PPV and asking us to pay for them, but now they’re silly? Yeah stuff like T.L. Hopper was dumb, but Doink for example was a great idea.

Moment #9 is Austin crushing Rock’s Lincoln with a monster truck. Stacy calls it a moment that changed wrestling forever. I haven’t thought of this moment in years so I think she’s wrong on that one.

Booker T presents the Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That award which speaks for itself. The nominees are the Three Faces of Foley in a sitdown interview at the same time (cool but Roddy Piper basically did the same thing back in the mid 80s with a mirror), Bischoff and Vince hugging (that’s fine), Bart Gunn wins the Brawl For All (the idea of that winning an award is hilarious), Kane being able to control fire (that’s kind of amusing when you take a step back and think about what he’s doing) and Austin riding a Zamboni to the ring to attack Vince.

Foley wins….and isn’t here because he left in 2001. So not only do they pick the wrong one (Vince vs. Bischoff should have won given the nominees) but they pick a guy who isn’t even there? Goldust comes up to present the award with Booker, because a guy painted gold and wearing a smoking jacket and making jokes isn’t a ridiculous gimmick at all but an Indian like Tatanka is. Bischoff, actually here tonight, calls Foley overrated and talks about the amount of time he has to turn Raw around without getting fired.

Ric Flair presents the role call of dead wrestlers: Andre the Giant (never appeared on Raw and died less than two weeks after it debuted), Joey Marella (referee and Gorilla Monsoon’s adopted son), Brian Pillman, Rick Rude, Owen Hart, Gorilla Monsoon (they picked a shot of him near death when he looked nothing like he did in his glory days), Yokozuna, British Bulldog….and that’s it. I guess we had to protect Shawn by not pointing out that the woman he made a joke about died. There are others who were left out, presumably because the company didn’t care enough about them.

Jericho presents the Gimme The Mic award in a weird looking leather suit. “I’m wearing it on a tip from Hollywood fashion plate Classy Freddie Blassie.” Ok points for a good reference. The nominees are Austin, DX, Angle (a stretch but ok), Foley, Vince (better than people give him credit for) and Rock. Jericho isn’t nominated? Oh wait he’s a heel right now so we can’t like him, even though Angle was nomianted.

Rock wins, FINALLY getting an award right. Naturally Rock is on a movie set so he has to do this via satellite, as a surprise. The crowd however is too New York and too drunk to be impressed, so they boo him out of the building. Rock says FINALLY but he’s not even in New York. The fans clearly aren’t pleased at all with this. Rock talks about Jericho debuting when Rock was in the ring so Jericho can turn the microphone sideways among other things.

It wasn’t Jericho who won that award but rather a guy with a bunch of nicknames. Rock tells Jericho to get off the stage as a light Rocky sucks chant begins. He wants to talk to Kurt Angle and spends nearly a minute talking about a match with Angle at some point in the past. He calls Team Angle Team Suck Squad.

Now it’s time for Stephanie to be called a “Make a wish and blow out the candles NOT THE POOL BOY” sl**. Rock makes fun of Goldust and Booker T for reviewing Scorpion King before calling Goldie a sick freak. The fans are completely turning on Rock now and the boring chants are getting louder and louder. He’ll be back soon and says a lot of catchphrases to FINALLY end this. Rock bombed here as he went on too long and the satellite thing was just stupid.

Moment #8 is Shane on Nitro, ending the Monday Night Wars once and for all. Again, this should have been higher.

After Fink brings us back in from commercial (he had to appear somewhere), here are Cole and Tazz to present the Shut Up and Kiss Me award. This is the best on screen duo with nominees of Mark Henry and Mae Young (you knew this was coming), Chyna and Eddie Guerrero (decent pick), Lita and Matt Hardy (better pick. Their first kiss was an awesome moment), Mr. McMahon and William Regal for Regal joining the Club (you knew some of Vince’s, ahem, interesting choices would be on here) and HHH and Stephanie. If you don’t know who is winning this one you don’t get WWE.

They don’t like each other too much right now but Stephanie accuses Rock of wanting to win this award with her. Stephanie recaps her on screen history with HHH and it really is funny how much happened with her. HHH wants to have a kiss for old times’ sake. He tells her to close her eyes so he can take down his pants and bend over. Stephanie slaps it and HHH walks out without pulling them up. This was what it was.

Moment #7 is the debut of Mr. Socko and Austin disguised as the doctor to beat up Vince. The greatness of the bed pan shot to the head is canceled out by Vince being anally raped with an IV.

Gene Okerlund and Pat Patterson (should have been Heenan) present Network Difficulties for controversial programming. The nominees are Mae Young giving birth to a hand (didn’t we just cover this five minutes ago?), Stone Cold Stunning Santa, 3 Minute Warning attacking the Hot Lesbians (actually pushing the envelope a bit) and Pillman’s Got A Gun.

Mae and Mark win in an even dumber pick than Trish. This was a HUGE deal which almost got Raw thrown off the air but we’ll go with the stupid comedy moment instead. It’s mainly the winner because Austin isn’t here at the moment.

Moment #6 is the Nation parody. It’s funny but this should have been last on the list. Also every moment so far has been from the Attitude Era.

Here’s Brock in a suit to present Superstar of the Decade. It’s REALLY weird to see Brock as a smiling face. The nominees are Mick Foley (with the debut of Socko shown for the second time), The Rock (BOOED), Bret Hart (BIG pop for that and a we want Bret chant), HHH, Austin and Undertaker (the only guy around for the whole decade). Austin wins as you would expect and as he likely should have. Vince says Austin isn’t here and laughs at fans who thought he would be. Dang I really want to watch this show now. I might get insulted for cheering for someone. HHH and Flair walk out because HHH didn’t win.

Moment #5 is Austin vs. Tyson. There’s a case for this being #1 as it basically launched them back into the Monday Night Wars and was a big reason why they started winning a few months later.

Time for Match of the Decade. Oh this should be fun. The nominees are TLC IV (I wouldn’t remember that if it wasn’t for the nomination earlier), HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight (a forgotten classic that belongs on this list), Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy in the ladder match (Just no. Period.) and Austin beating Kane to win back the world title (this is idiotic. Austin beat Undertaker for the title in 1999 and it drew nearly 11 million people, a record which still stands today I believe).

TLC wins and I’m not going to bother talking about the acceptance speech. Instead, here’s a real list of nominees for best matches in Raw’s first ten years off the top of my head:

Jannetty vs. Michaels for the Intercontinental Title

HHH vs. Cactus Jack

Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog for the first European Title

Austin/HHH vs. Benoit/Jericho for the tag titles

Austin vs. Angle for the WWF Title in 2001

Any of those are better than the rest of the nominees combined. TLC was NOTHING but most of the people in it are there so it wins an award. That sums up the entire problem with this show.

Moment #4 is DX invading WCW. I’ve got nothing here. This was awesome.

Moment #3 is Rock challenging Hogan for Wrestlemania 18. This still gives me chills but it has no business being this high on the list.

Moment #2 is Raw Is Owen. Leave it to WWE for turning something like someone’s death into a way to pat themselves on the back. Pay no attention to Jeff Jarrett having to perform in a comedy match five minutes after watching his friend plummet to his death.

Moment #1 is the Austin beer bath of the Corporation. Yeah, seriously. Allegedly these were selected by fans but WWE fans are smarter than this. Edge presents it and brings the rest of the roster to the stage for a bow to end the show.

Overall Rating: S. For shame on them. This is RIDICULOUS with the top ten moments list being either out of order, stupid, or nothing of note. The awards made my head hurt and I knew what was coming. This show wasn’t a celebration of Raw. It was a cheap ratings ploy to talk about the Attitude Era and have zero effort put into it at all. Look at the specials today and you’ll see a ton of nostalgia packages and highlight videos which talk about various things you haven’t thought of in years and can smile at later. This was horrible and insulting to my intelligence as a Raw fan rather than anything fun. Shame on WWE for this.

Here’s the Rumble if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-2003-best-of-both-worlds-and-a-boring-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Thought of the Day: The Lesson From HHH vs. Great Khali

I’m finishing off Brock vs. HHH and this occurred to me.Back in 2008, the Smackdown title match at Summerslam was HHH defending against the Great Khali.  The idea of the match was simple: the only thing HHH had that could keep Khali down was the Pedigree so it was all he went for.  He finally hit his home run move and Khali DIDN’T GET UP.  Here’s what popped into my head: how long has it been in a WWE PPV main event that it took one finisher to beat someone?  It was a running joke in Rock vs. Cena and it’s an annoying problem.  Based on the logic of you can hit however many finishers you want, right hands could be considered a finisher as if you hit enough of them you’ll win a match.

 

HHH vs. Khali is shockingly good too. Check it out.




WWE.Com Article On the Five Moves Of Doom

At least they’ve having a good time with some of this stuff.

 

http://www.wwe.com/shows/raw/2013-08-12/john-cena-five-moves-of-doom-26140514

 

Also since it’s appropriate, I’m a contributor to Scott Keith’s blog.  Keith is credited with inventing the term Five Moves of Doom for Bret Hart back in the 1990s.  I do NXT, Nitro, Thunder Smackdown and Impact (temporarily) reviews for him and there’s a ton of great stuff over there.  He’s pretty much the reviewer I modeled my own style after.  Check him out at:

 

rspwfaq.net




Darren Young Comes Out As Gay, First Openly Gay WWE Wrestler

That’s rather cool.  It takes a lot of guts to do this in a sport like wrestling.

 

By the way, do not post any homophobic/gay bashing comments on this.  I’ll delete them immediately.




Thought of the Day: The WWE Treadmill

I’m finishing Smackdown and this became even more obvious.One of WWE’s biggest problems is that the year is so repetitive and it’s the same pattern over and over again.  Think about this.

 

The year starts the night after Wrestlemania where something big happens to set up Extreme Rules.  After that PPV we go to the start of the big summer angle which usually culminates at Summerslam or the next month’s show.  During the big summer angle we hit MITB, meaning the next few months are spent teasing cash-ins, usually starting around Summerslam.  Then we lighten up a lot until the end of the year through Survivor Series and TLC.  The new year brings the Rumble and the start of the Road to Wrestlemania.  The Rumble establishes one of the major matches, the a few weeks later we get the return of the big name for the other Wrestlemania main event.  Then it’s the Chamber to establish the other title match and six weeks later it’s Wrestlemania to close out the WWE year.

 

How many years in a row have you seen that exact sequence?




On This Day: August 8, 1999 – Sunday Night Heat: The Dying Days of RussoRiffic WWF

Sunday Night Heat
Date: August 8, 1999
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 13,793
Commentators: Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly

Somehow I’ve never touched on Sunday Night Heat. Introduced in 1998, it was the original second show until Smackdown debuted (a few weeks after this episode), after which it dropped like a stone in importance. This is actually a live episode for no apparent reason We’re two weeks from Summerslam 1999 and Austin is champion. The question is who will he be facing. Somehow we wound up with about four #1 contenders matches in a month so it’s hard to say who he’s facing at this point. Let’s get to it.

The opening sequence sounds like metal being hammered. The main color being orange didn’t do the show much good either.

Intercontinental Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and is European Champion as well. Venis makes sex jokes about tax cuts. Here’s Jeff Jarrett, the man Brown beat for the Intercontinental Title, comes out before the match, allowing Venis to get in a cheap shot. Brown takes over with ease and drops a leg for two as Jarrett blames Debra for costing him the title. Venis comes back with a spinebuster for two of his own as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. A Russian legsweep puts D’Lo down but Jeff runs in for the DQ.

Venis and Brown clear the ring.

Here’s Al Snow with his dog Pepper for a chat. Snow wants to know why Kevin Kelly doesn’t believe Pepper talks to him like Timmy and Lassie, Dorothy and Toto, George Jetson and Astro or Shaggy and Scooby. However, tonight he’s here to challenge Boss Man to a Hardcore Title match at Summerslam. Boss Man says ok and threatens to rape the dog with his nightstick and deep fry him into a real corndog. Or maybe he’ll just step on Pepper’s head. DANG this guy has some deep seeded issues.

Tori vs. Les Lexie Fyfe

Tori was good looking but one of the worst workers all time so we get to see her in a squash. You might know Fyfe from Shimmer or various other female promotions. The match is of course sloppy junk until Tori spears Lexie down and wins with a powerslam.

Ivory, Tori’s opponent at Summerslam, runs in and attacks Tori, writing SL** on her stomach.

Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. Kane/Road Dogg

This is Ministry vs. others with the Acolytes defending. The Acolytes hit the ring before Kane is here and the beating is on. Dogg is taken apart but here’s Kane for the opening bell. Kane cleans house to start but the numbers catch up to him. Bradshaw gets taken down by a side slam but Kane goes after Faarooq instead of following up. There’s the top rope clothesline to take out Bradshaw and here’s Hardcore Holly of all people.

He gets on the apron in Kane’s corner and tags himself in which apparently counts….and turns on Kane (was he ever on Kane’s team?)…..before turning on the Acolytes and fighting everyone. The Acolytes lay out Holly and we cut to Big Show being held back by Undertaker for some reason. Did I mention this was when Russo was feeling stressed out and about to leave?

Meat (Shawn Stasiak) says Terri is wearing him out.

Godfather vs. Prince Albert

Albert is Tensai. No match as a fat guy in white (Vic Grimes I believe) comes in to help Droz and Albert attack Godfather but Val Venis and Chaz (Mosh of the Headbangers in a boring gimmick) make the save. No match.

Al Snow gives Pepper training in being a hardcore dog but he can’t get him to dive through a table. Snow goes to get something but leaves Pepper there. That’s just dumb man.

Smackdown is coming.

COUNTDOWN TO THE MILLENNIUM! 26 hours to go.

Meat is too tired for his match but goes out anyway.

Snow has Pepper back and introduces him to Blue Meanie, who wants to put the dog on his taco. Al hands the dog off to a woman and destroys Meanie.

Meat vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man is Hardcore Champion but this is non-title. Terri accidentally distracts Meat to start and Boss Man takes over. Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to Meat’s back and follows up with the sliding uppercut. We hit a quick reverse chinlock before Meat avoids a charge in the corner. Not that it matters as his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb to give Boss Man the pin.

Rating: D. Do I really need to explain this? Meat is the kind of one note character that is there to make Russo and Vince chuckle and little more. The match was junk other than the good powerbomb to end it, but it’s a squash match with the jobber being the subject of the match. Nothing to see here.

Rock comes out for commentary on the main event.

Billy Gunn vs. Undertaker

Billy jumps Taker to start but gets launched into the corner and stomped down. Rock is feasting on Cole and Kelly as Taker gets two off a big boot. Gunn comes back with a dropkick and a neckbreaker before choking away. Rock guarantees to beat Billy at Summerslam and demands Cole say something and “stop kayfabing like an idiot.” Taker comes back with a running DDT but Rock gets up and pounds on Billy. Taker’s partner Big Show goes after Rock but it’s a tombstone to end Billy.

Rating: D+. The match was just an excuse to have Rock out there doing his schtick. Billy was in the middle of a good push at this point but at the end of the day he was just Billy Gunn and that wasn’t enough. Rock would get back to the big times soon after this and never looked back.

Rock is chokeslammed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s easy to see when Russo is around and when he isn’t. This show was a mess with all kinds of odd characters and non wrestling, but a few months later everything was great and the WWF destroyed everything in sight. It’s amazing what happens when you let the great wrestlers put on great wrestling shows. This however, isn’t one of those shows.

Here’s Summerslam if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/08/04/summerslam-count-up-1999-an-out-of-body-experience/

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