I mentioned this in the review last night but it deserves its own mention here.Last night on Raw, we saw WWE rip off the Clair Lynch storyline that TNA ran a few months back.  We have Cena in the role of AJ Styles, being accused of an affair and having a plausible excuse for every piece of evidence presented to him.  Vickie is now playing the role of Kaz and Daniels as the accuser and AJ is playing a not-angry Clair Lynch.  This is the consensual PG version, but it’s the same story.

If this is the best they can come up with, they’re in trouble.

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 31, 2006
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

It’s Halloween (ish) and the main story is that Van Dam can challenge for the world title anytime he wants. Things are starting to pick up a bit around here, but the Test/Holly stuff is dragging it WAY down. Striker isn’t much either but he’s not terrible as a character. We’re inching closer to December to Dismember and it’s the go home show for Cyber Sunday 2006 as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the main event from last week. Why would Heyman give ROB VAN DAM a LADDER match to get his world title shot?

Here’s Heyman in the back with something to say. Apparently Van Dam has picked December To Dismember for his title shot, but Heyman says that the stipulations were never named. They’ll be two of the six men in the first ever EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!! Oh dear goodness…..not that. Please?

Theme song.

Tonight it’s Van Dam/Holly vs. Show/Test.

Extreme Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Sabu vs. Kevin Thorn

There are various people in Halloween costumes at ringside but they’re no one in particular. Sabu takes out the leg of Thorn and quickly knocks him out to the floor. Sabu hits part of a flip dive to the outside and a slingshot splash back into the ring. Thorn comes back with a sitout powerbomb and it’s off to a chinlock. Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a pair of springboard elbows for two. An Ariel distraction allows Thorn to clothesline Sabu out of the air for two but Kevin walks into a springboard DDT for a delayed two. Another slingshot legdrop sets up the camel clutch to send Sabu to the Chamber.

Rating: C. This was a quick match to send Sabu to the Chamber. Thorn never quite worked and was never pushed as a top guy on ECW, so it’s not like this is a big loss for him. For a TV opener though this was fine and the ECW fans still love Sabu, so there was never any doubt at all as to who was winning.

Sandman talks about how he’s going to get the match against Umaga when a clown (not Doink) comes by and gets beaten up with some cane shots. Ok then.

The Marine stuff because we can’t go a week without hearing about it. Now they’re talking about the alligators in the movie, I kid you not.

Tazz gives Joey a noose for Halloween. This show is getting creepier every minute.

Daivari vs. Shannon Moore

This is Daivari and Khali returning after about three months off all WWE TV. Daivari cranks on the arm to start and gets two off a slam. They slug it out and after a quick burst of offense from Shannon, a DDT gets the pin for Daivari.

Khali destroys Shannon post match.

RVD isn’t worried about the Chamber and isn’t surprised that Heyman would pull this. He looks rather stoned here. Holly comes up and talks about the back injury he had a few weeks ago. They’re partners tonight. He says he’s got RVD’s back tonight in a nice pun.

It’s time for an ECW Diva Halloween Costume Contest. There are only three chicks in it: Kelly, Trinity and Ariel. Trinity is in her usual attire: a thong and topless other than caution tape in certain areas. Ariel is in her usual attire and admits it’s not a costume. Kelly is….CM Punk? Yep that’s apparently right. Since she’s the only one in what you would call a costume, she should win but come on: Trinity is in caution tape and that’s it. Thankfully, Trinity wins by a landslide. Apparently she’s a crime scene. Ok then.

Post contest Mike Knox comes out to yell at Kelly. Punk makes the save and beats down Knox.

After a break Knox challenges Punk to a match next week.

We look at the people in costumes again. There are a few whose faces you can’t see.

Rob Van Dam/Hardcore Holly vs. Big Show/Test

Test and Van Dam get things going with Test choking away in the corner via a boot. Van Dam avoids a charge in the corner but a middle rope cross body is caught. Rob escapes and kicks Test down but stops to jaw with Show. Another spin kick puts Test down and here’s Holly. Holly chokes in the corner a bit and gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Test again.

The fans are all over Big Show and it’s back to RVD. Test gets in a shot though and rams Van Dam into Show’s foot. For some reason there’s no tag though and Test is knocked to the outside. Rob charges into a forearm from the apron but cross bodies Test to the floor as we take a break. Back with the same match we had before we left and Test clotheslining Van Dam down for no cover.

Test chokes away in the corner and it would be nice to see a tag. Instead Test does Van Dam’s thumb point and gets caught with the stepover kick. There’s the tag to Holly and now it’s Big Show with the tag as well. After some basic kicks to the legs from Holly, Show goes into his usual offense, which means standing on Holly and doing basic moves that mean more because he’s huge.

A headbutt puts Holly down and it’s back to Test. Holly tries to fight out of an arm hold but Test runs him right back over. Show sits down on the arm Test was working over but misses a slow motion Vader Bomb. There’s the hot tag to Van Dam who goes toe to toe with Show and takes out the leg with a reverse chopblock. Rolling Thunder gets two as everything breaks down. The referee goes down as Holly hits the Alabama Slam on Test, only to get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Big Show head to the floor and a gorilla hits Van Dam in the back with a pipe. That and the chokeslam get the pin for Show on RVD.

Rating: C-. This was a watchable main event tag, but it ran nearly twenty minutes, which is a lot for a match featuring the four guys in here. I believe all four of them would wind up in the Chamber so this was kind of a preview for that. The costume was a bit pointless but it was Halloween after all so it’s understandable I guess.

Heyman is the gorilla.

Overall Rating: D+. This was all about starting the Chamber build which while sounding good on paper would wind up being a near disaster in execution. Either way, this wasn’t a horrible show overall, but it was a pretty weak time for the show at this point. Things would change huge after the PPV though.

Here’s Cyber Sunday if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/10/28/cyber-sunday-2006-a-moment-that-always-makes-me-laugh/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

This is another sign of the times and it’s something else where they need to take the lead from old school.So I’m watching Survivor Series 2002 and there’s a backstory about Victoria vs. Trish.  The story goes that they used to be fitness models together and Trish abandoned Victoria.  This alone sets up a story for the PPV match.  Notice what they did here: they MADE THE STORY UP.  This is something you rarely see anymore.  Today, most feuds are about wanting to challenge the champion and are very based in reality.  I get enough real life in real life.  When I watch wrestling, I like things being over the top instead of down to earth.  Make up some stories.  Tell me about Kane getting burned alive or Undertaker being a demon or something these guys did before they got to the WWE.  In short, LIE TO ME.

ECW on Sci-Fi
Date: October 24, 2006
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

More ECW goodness here as we inch closer to Cyber Sunday and the Champion of Champions match which means we’re inching closer to December to Dismember and the night ECW was thrown off a cliff. The main event tonight is a ladder match between Van Dam and Big Show, which may or may not be for a shot at Show’s title. The only other thing I have to say is this is being written six years to the day of the show which isn’t interesting but it fills in some lines. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap from last week with Van Dam pinning Big Show. During that match, Hardcore Holly saved Van Dam from an attack by Test.

Theme song.

Here’s RVD to open things up. He brags about being the first guy to beat the Big Show and says he wants the world title shot now. Here’s Heyman with his security who praises RVD and has a contract for a title match for RVD. But that contract is going to be held above the ring and must be retrieved using a ladder. Why would Heyman agree to give Van Dam his specialty match to get a title shot? Why not make it like a body slam challenge or something like that? Either way, the security jumps Van Dam but gets beaten up just as quickly.

CM Punk vs. Matt Striker

Punk immediately hits a kind of spinebuster to take Striker down and Striker is in trouble on the mat. We get some chain wrestling before Punk sends him down to escape a cravate. They trade a series of hammerlocks but Striker finally grabs the rope to escape. Punk fires off knees to the head but gets sent shoulder first into the post. Striker works on the arm for a bit but Punk kicks him in the head to escape. The knee in the corner and the bulldog sets up Punk’s finishing sequence but Mike Knox runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was a squash until we got to Punk getting beaten up for the DQ. Striker was a fine character as the whole teacher thing worked really well, but at the end of the day the guy was not any good in the ring at all. There are only so many ways you can get around that and Striker never found one. Punk vs. Knox hopefully will end soon.

We get a quick recap of Holly going after Heyman a few weeks ago which also sets up Holly vs. Test tonight.

Test vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly pounds away to start and Test is all BRING IT ON. Test drops to the floor and Holly is fine with taking it out there. He isn’t however fine with being sent into the post and being sent back in for more pounding from Test. Holly comes back with a kick and a legdrop as the fans aren’t thrilled with this match.

Test gets tied up in the ropes and Holly pounds away even more. That’s what this whole match has been for about three minutes or so now: punching and occasional kicking. Holly suplexes Test over the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Test with a body grip on the mat. During the break Test rammed Holly’s back into the post three times. How nice of them to put that during the break and let us see this rest hold instead.

Test sends Holly into the corner for two and puts on a bearhug. Holly escapes and kicks a bent over Test in the face to put both guys down. A big back elbow puts test down as does a clothesline. Holly hits a top rope clothesline for two but Test elbows him down and goes up, only to get crotched. Holly gets two off a middle rope legdrop before escaping the pumphandle slam. The Alabama Slam is countered too so Holly kicks Test in the very low abdomen. Test pokes him in the eye and sends him shoulder first into the post. That and a rollup with a handful of tights gets the pin.

Rating: D. There are multiple problems here. Problem #1: the match sucked. It was mainly punching and kicking and boring back work which didn’t go anywhere. Second, at the end of the day this is Test vs. Hardcore Holly, the latter of which wrestling as a face. Holly, in this character at least, is one of the least likable guys in ECW. The other problem is the same one I’ve said many times: these guys are career midcarders in the WWE and it’s really hard to care about the two of them fighting. They’re on ECW because they’re not good enough to make it on Raw or Smackdown, and the match is evidence of that.

Post match Test hits Holly in the back with a chair a few times.

More Marine nonsense.

We run down a few matches for Cyber Sunday, including picking Umaga’s opponent. Sandman is an option, and Sandman says he thinks he’s the best option because it’ll be violent and bloody. Well Sandman never was much of a talker.

Rob Vam Dam vs. Big Show

It’s a ladder match and if Van Dam wins, he gets a title shot at Show at some point in the future. The bell rings after a break which is nice as we don’t have to waste part of the match later. Van Dam immediately gets a ladder which is a smart move….I think. Show throws the ladder out so Van Dam starts firing off kicks. He hits a slingshot legdrop to the back of the head to take over and brings the ladder back in. Show comes back with a headbutt and chop to take over.

Rob gets whipped into the ladder in the corner, sending him to the floor. Show tries a different approach, lifting the ladder in the air and swatting at the contract. Rob gets in a shot and brings in another ladder to blast Show in the head. Show is cut open and Van Dam leans a ladder against the corner. He shoves the ladder at Show and kicks said ladder against Show’s head. Nice move.

Rolling Thunder hits the ladder which is on top of Show but Rob’s back is hurt too. Rob goes up but Show shoves him onto the ropes to slow things down again. A ladder to the back keeps Show down and man is the champion bleeding badly. Show stands on a ladder on top of Van Dam and Rob is in trouble. Show spears Rob down to stop a comeback attempt and hits a simple punch to the head to take Rob down again.

Van Dam gets slammed down onto the ladder but Show’s Vader Bomb misses….as always. Are heels that confident that they keep trying the same moves over and over again even though it’s NEVER worked? There are big welts on Rob’s sides. The left side of Show’s face is COVERED in blood. He can see well enough to chokeslam Rob down but he’s slow and fat so it takes him forever go climb the ladder. Rob climbs up even faster and hits a seated senton into a rana over the top. Rob gets up and sprints up the ladder to get the contract for the win and the title shot. Apparently Van Dam gets to pick the time and place.

Rating: C+. The idea for a Big Show ladder match is to have the other guy use the ladder while Show uses his size and power with the ladder as the occasional prop. That worked here as it was Van Dam bouncing off Show the entire match and a high risk/leverage move that got the win for Van Dam. Good match here, especially for an ECW main event.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event was good, but the rest of the stuff here wasn’t working. Guys like Test and Holly are not interesting, especially when they’re the same guys they’ve been for years but on Tuesdays instead of Mondays. The main event stuff is fine, but the heels on this show other than Big Show are horrible at this point. Good main event, but a weak show overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Other than the time it was said that the Glamour Girls beat the Jumping Bomb Angels for the Women’s Tag Titles in Egypt.  You can find the match on the same Coliseum Video as Patterson vs. whatever that South American Champion whose name I can’t remember was in Rio, but the official WWE line is that the tag title change was in Egypt back in the 80s.

And yes, I am that big of a wrestling geek.

I’ve heard this asked before but I’d like to get some answers (serious or comical) to this question:When a GM makes the matches on the fly throughout the night, what was the plan supposed to be beforehand?  Half the time there are about two or three matches that aren’t announced during the show, so what was the rest of the show going to be filled in by?  Most of the time the matches that are made are made due to conflict that happened during the show, so what was going to fill that spot if there wasn’t conflict?

Thoughts?

This is another one of those things I don’t get.What is this obsession people have with seeing these two fight?  It seems like it would be a match where the outcome is never in doubt and the promos would likely be centered around “I’m straightedge” vs. “I love beer”.  They were both anti-heroes so they don’t have character issues to argue over.  Yet despite all this, fans seem to be begging to see this match.  Why?  At the end of the day, the money match would seem to be Cena vs. Austin, not Austin vs. Punk.

Think about it.  If there is ANYONE who is the polar opposite of Austin’s entire character, it’s John Cena.  You have the ultimate corporate guy vs. the guy who would regularly beat up his boss.  The promos would be great, the characters contrasts would be great, and it would be the ultimate battle of Attitude Era (the company’s new favorite marketing campaign since they finally realized people are nostalgic for it) vs. PG.

Why do so many people want Punk when Cena would be a better opponent all the way around?  Also Austin vs. Punk is not happening at Mania 29.  Austin’s knee isn’t going to be ready.  Drop the speculation already.

This came to me last night and it’s another example of the fans complaining for the sake of complaining.The Rock won his first world title in November of 1998.  He won his last in July 0f 2002.  That’s less than four years and in that span, Rock won nine world titles: 7 WWF and 2 WCW.

John Cena won his first world title in April of 2005 and in four years, Cena had won six world titles: 4 WWE and 2 WHC.

The fans’ typical statements on these two:

Rock: ROCKY!  ROCKY!  ROCKY!

Cena: CENA SUCKS!  HE ALWAYS HAS THE TITLE AND WINS IT ALL THE FREAKING TIME!

Even though Rock won more titles in a much shorter span of time.  Rock would win nine titles in four years while Cena has won twelve in about seven years.  Also keep in mind that most of Rock’s reigns were when only one title was available.  To complain about Cena constantly winning titles while praising Rock as amazing is hypocrisy.

So there’s a report that says Batista may be back at the Rumble.  Now those of you that read my thoughts on things like this know that I always go with the theory of “I’ll believe it when I see it.”  I’m not saying the report is valid or not because I have no idea if it is or not. What I’m asking is would you want Batista back in WWE?  Let’s think about this:Batista is in his mid 40s and didn’t seem to be thrilled with being in the WWE all the time.  He’s had some issues with people backstage and can be kind of a diva at times.

On the other hand, the guy is a legit main eventer and could be put in the world title hunt immediately with no questions asked.  He’s got a great look, is insanely over with the fans, and was on a roll when he left.

Overall, I’d be for it as he’s still got some years left in him and he could put some people over on his way out.  There’s nothing wrong with that at all, especially with how weak the main event pool is at this point.

Thoughts?

Well at least Main Event has a moment now.  Points for that I guess.  And no, it still doesn’t need to exist.