ECW On Sci Fi
Date: March 4, 2008
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re still on the Road to Wrestlemania and somehow, again, we’re getting CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero for the latter’s ECW Title. This is setting a new standard for trying to squeeze every last drop out of an idea and there absolutely cannot be much left to wring out of the feud. Maybe tonight can wrap it up for good. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at the last month or so of CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero, because the feud is so long that you can trim it down like that.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/John Morrison vs. Colin Delaney/Tommy Dreamer

Delaney and Dreamer are challenging after beating the champs in a non-title match last week. Dreamer and Miz start things off with Miz being taken down rather quickly. A Quebecers’ Cannonball hits Miz for two but he’s right back up to drive Delaney into the corner. Morrison comes in for the springboard spinning kick to the head but Delaney manages to kick him away.

The tag brings in Dreamer to a rather nothing reaction and a neckbreaker out of the corner for one on Morrison. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on but Miz makes the save, knocks Delaney to the floor and hammers Dreamer down. That’s too far for Delaney, who grabs a chair and cleans house for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Yeah this wasn’t much to see and that’s because there was no way the titles were going to change here. Delaney and Dreamer are some teacher/student deal and it is getting better over the weeks, but that doesn’t mean they were ready to become champions. Points for making someone new though, which has been lacking around here for a good bit.

Post match Dreamer looks stunned but also rather pleased with the violence. Ignore Delaney costing them the title shot.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Stevie Richards

Benjamin’s original Ain’t No Stopping Me Now music is gone, taking away one of the catchier themes from the era. Richards grabs a headlock to start but Benjamin pulls him out of the air for a shoulder breaker to take over. An armbar and them a figure four arm lock (Tazz’s words) keep Richards in trouble.

Benjamin elbows him in the face and grabs the same arm lock as things grind to another halt. Back up and Benjamin jumps to the top, only to miss a high crossbody. We get some weak SHELTON chants as Richards makes the comeback, including an enziguri for two. That’s too far for Benjamin, who hits the jumping Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as interesting as Benjamin working the arm for two minutes out of less than five was going to be. The new Benjamin is just so lame with the gold hair and the weaker music, but at least they’re pushing someone who still has some star power. Also, so much for Richards’ push, but I don’t know what kinds of legs it had in the first place.

Post match Benjamin promises to win Money In The Bank.

We recap the reveal of Maria’s Playboy cover.

Kofi Kingston and Kelly Kelly are admiring the Playboy cover, with Kingston saying she could be a Playboy cover girl. With that kind of creepy line out of the way, Layla comes in to yell at Kelly about Playboy wanting Layla instead. Catfighting ensues, likely over who could be a worse actress.

Kane vs. James Gibson

Before the match, Chuck Palumbo, who is facing Kane on Smackdown, rides to the ring on his motorcycle. Not that it matters as the chokeslam finishes Gibson in about thirty seconds.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk talks about how Chavo Guerrero claims to be a warrior, but there is one Guerrero who is a warrior and it isn’t Chavo. Punk talks about the things he’s done to Chavo and promises to regain the title tonight.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero is defending. Feeling out process to start as Chavo takes him into the corner, only to get rolled up for a fast two. A hammerlock slam sets up an armbar from Punk, which is quickly reversed into a headlock. With that broken up, Punk tries a springboard but gets knocked out to the floor in a pretty nasty crash.

We take a break and come back with Chavo working on the leg, including a chop block to cut him down again. The leg is wrapped around the post and Chavo seems rather confident. We hit the leg crank but Punk manages to use the good leg to kick Chavo outside. Back in and Punk grabs an armbar, only to have Chavo pull him into a half crab. The rope is grabbed so Chavo plants him with a tornado DDT for two instead. Punk catches him going up but gets knocked back down, setting up the frog splash to retain the title.

Rating: C+. They’re done now right? Chavo has beaten Punk multiple times now and this one was completely clean so the feud is over. There is nothing left for these two to do with each other and it is time for both of them to move on. I’m not sure what that will mean for Chavo, but Punk is more than ready to move up to one of the other shows.

Overall Rating: C. This show is in need of a fresh tank of gas as they seem to be running on empty. Miz and Morrison vs. Delaney and Dreamer is the second biggest story on the show and that has the shelf life of some week old bread. Other than that, you have Benjamin minus the fun stuff and Kane warmed up for something on Smackdown. What does that leave for this show? Decent main event this week and nothing else.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 26, 2008
Location: Convention Center, Tuscon, Arizona
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re on the way to Wrestlemania and this week isn’t likely to have Ric Flair for a main event. Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk should be done for good but you never can tell with that feud. It feels like it could somehow keep going despite being long past its expiration date. If not Punk though, who else is supposed to go after the title? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Kelly Kelly/Kofi Kingston vs. Santino Marella/Layla

The women start things off as Tazz talks about some 80s song. Actually we’ll switch to the men as Kelly has to bring in “Koko Kingston”. That’s fine with Kofi, who knocks Marella into the corner and hammers away. Back up and Santino gets in a cheap shot to take over and a clothesline allows for some posing.

Layla even gets in some hair pulling from the apron, allowing Santino to work on an armbar. For some reason Santino tags Layla in, which is as good as Kofi tagging Kelly. Some clotheslines drop Layla and Kelly hits a high crossbody for one as everything breaks down. Trouble In Paradise drops Santino and a Fameasser gives Kelly the pin.

Rating: C-. This was as good as Santino doing his lame offense to Kofi for a few minutes before the women came in for the finish was going to be. Santino is a fun character but he doesn’t exactly have the in-ring work to back it up in any way. Kofi continues to feel like someone WWE is protecting and that is a good sign for his future.

Bunnymania is coming at Wrestlemania.

Video on Maria’s Playboy shoot.

Stevie Richards vs. Mike Knox

Knox, ever the villain, goes for the throat to start and a hot shot cuts off a comeback attempt. The slow beating is on and Knox grabs a chinlock to stay on the throat. That’s switched into a choke so the fans start begging for the comeback. Richards comes up with a superkick but the StevieT is blocked. Instead Richards avoids a charge into the corner and now the StevieT is enough to finish Knox off.

Rating: D+. Do you know how fast someone with the limited offense of Knox is going to run out of throat based moves? Richards has a good story, but there is only so much that you can do with it week after week. Yeah he has a bad throat, but if that’s all you’re getting, how far is this supposed to go?

Tommy Dreamer tells Colin Delaney that he as a future as his injuries are starting to heal. Delaney asks if he can have his own theme music when he becomes a star. Dreamer glares at him.

Raw Rebound.

Commentary gets serious about the Vince McMahon/JBL/Hornswoggle/Finlay ordeal.

Miz/John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer/Colin Delaney

Non-title. Dreamer armdrags Morrison down to start but Delaney tags himself in (Dreamer: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”) and hits a dropkick. Morrison takes him down without much trouble though and it’s off to Miz to hammer away in the corner. The backbreaker/slingshot elbow combination gives Morrison two and it’s back to Miz for a chinlock. Delaney fights up and Dreamer gets the tag to start the house cleaning. A reverse DDT plants Miz and Morrison is sent outside. Dreamer sends Miz into Delaney and the DDT is good for the pin.

Rating: C-. It might make sense in the story but Dreamer and Delaney just beat the Tag Team Champions completely clean. That’s not the best thing to see and while Miz and Morrison aren’t likely to drop the titles, it feels like a repeat of the Jimmy Wang Yang/Shannon Moore feud. Just stop having the champs get pinned.

Video on the Wrestlemania press conference, with the focus on Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Miz and John Morrison are yelling at each other when they’re told Tommy Dreamer and Colin Delaney are getting a Tag Team Title shot next week. They aren’t scared.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke vs. Shelton Benjamin

The winner gets an ECW Title shot against Chavo Guerrero, on commentary, next week. The fans are behind Punk as Benjamin kicks Burke to the floor. Chavo: “I would have ducked.” Benjamin knocks Punk down but Burke low bridges him outside to even things up a bit. Back in and Punk grabs a slightly scary flapjack on Burke but Benjamin comes in for the jumping Downward Spiral to drop Punk.

We take a break and come back with Benjamin sunset bombing Punk to the floor but getting dropkicked off the apron by Burke. The Outer Limits elbow gets two on Punk and the running crotch attack to the back of the next hits Benjamin as Burke is the only one left standing. Punk pulls Burke off the top, only to get caught with Benjamin’s dragon whip to cut him down as well. Burke knocks Benjamin out to the floor but Punk is back up with the GTS for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C+. They didn’t hide what they were going to do with the winner here and that isn’t the worst thing. That being said, I’m completely burned out on Punk vs. Chavo, but who else is there to go after the title? ECW is really weak on top faces right now and I don’t think I can see Stevie Richards getting a title shot. That leaves Punk, and that isn’t much to write home about at the moment.

Post match Guerrero gets in the ring for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Blech, what a weak show this was, with Kofi vs. Santino being one of the more interesting things going on. You can only get so much with this limited of a roster and no one else to challenge Chavo, so this was more a matter of time than anything else. The main event was fine, but I need more than Punk vs. Chavo 47 or whatever it is to pique my interest.

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 20, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

I’m not sure what to expect from this show and that is what makes the show so much fun. Instead of one big story, it’s more like they’re picking random wrestlers who have a little something going on at the moment and throw them into some squash matches. That’s how things worked in the Golden Era so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Hart Foundation vs. Islanders

This is when the Islanders were still good guys and Jimmy hart is in the Harts’ corner. Of note: the graphics say this include “Hako” and “Brett” Hart. The Harts jump them to start and clear the ring until it’s Neidhart kneeing Tama in the ribs. There’s a bite to the face as Johnny V makes south Pacific jokes.

Something like a Demolition Decapitator drops Tama again as we get an insert promo from Jimmy Hart about how much better his team is than the Islanders. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Haku so everything breaks down, with the barricade being knocked down at ringside. Toma busts out a crazy dive over the top (In 1986!) and the referee throws it out at 2:39, which is a bit of a surprise.

Post match the Islanders clean house without much trouble.

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from Adrian Adonis, who is ready for his debate with Roddy Piper in the coming weeks. The topic: who has the better talk show segment. So they’re talking about talking? This isn’t so much a rebuttal as much as a clip from Superstars.

Randy Savage vs. Tony Garea

Non-title and AGAIN Danny Davis messes up by distracting Garea. Not that it matters as Garea is right back with a crossbody for two and a sunset flip for the same. Back up and Savage knees him out to the floor, setting up the top rope ax handle. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham in the desert, where he says he’s coming back to hurt someone. Like Savage for example. Savage takes him back inside, hits the slam and drops the elbow for the pin at 2:26. Garea got in a bit there but then it was the Savage Show, meaning it was awesome.

Jake Roberts thinks Ricky Steamboat is stupid for coming after him after getting burned once before. And no, he didn’t get the Snake Pit by brown nosing, but because he has talent.

Machines vs. Tiger Chung Lee/Al Navarro/JJ Jackson

Oddly enough, Hayes doesn’t know Jackson’s name and has to ask him. Lou Albano is here with the Machines: Big Machine (Blackjack Mulligan), Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (I’ll let you figure it out). Lee and Big start things off as we get an insert promo from Bobby Heenan talking about how much smarter he is than Albano, who must have a machine for these machines. Jackson comes in and gets clotheslined by Super, who sends him into a right hand from Giant for the pin at 1:30. This team is hilarious in a way that would only work in wrestling.

Koko B. Ware, with music box blaring, gets Ken Resnick to dance with him. He is no stepping stone.

BUY WWF MAGAZINE!

BUY LJN ACTION FIGURES! No really, as those things are valuable today.

BUY WWF THUMB WRESTLERS! I think I had most of those.

Dream Team vs. Lanny Poffo/Dick Slater

That’s a heck of a random jobber team and oddly enough they get a full entrance while Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine are already in the ring. Poffo’s poem is about how Slater is a rebel from Dixie who will do his thing. Valentine slams Poffo to start as we get an insert promo from Mr. Fuji, who does NOT like Dixie. Slater comes in and elbows Valentine in the head for two.

That’s enough for Johnny V, the Dream Team’s manager, to bail on commentary and go take care of his team. A suplex gets two on Slater and a sunset flip gives him two on Valentine. Everything breaks down and Valentine snaps Poffo’s throat across the top rope so Beefcake can get the pin at 2:35. The V stuff made it a bit more interesting.

And now, the Snake Pit with Bobby Heenan and Paul Orndorff. Jake talks about fakers and Orndorff says Hulk Hogan wants to be him. The robe comes off so Orndorff can pose, with Heenan saying Orndorff’s thirst will only be quenched when he wins the WWF Title.

Sika vs. Rick Hunter

The Wizard is here with Sika. Hunter slugs away to start and gets choked down with no effect. Sika slaps him down and we get an insert interview from Honky Tonk Man, who is still on his way. Hunter tries to forearm his way out of trouble and gets choked into the corner. More choking ensues as the Wizard shouts at Sika, who finishes with the Samoan drop (with Sika more laying him down than dropping) for the pin at 3: 23.

Rating: D. When the Samoan drop isn’t looking great, there is only so much that you’re going to get out of a match. Sika was never much on his own but was quite great when he was part of the Wild Samoans. That being said, this was another weak match which got some time, partially due to Honky Tonk Man sucking any life out of the thing with his out of date good guy act.

Video on the Rougeau Brothers riding motorcycles and in a boat. Riveting.

Killer Bees vs. Terry Gibbs/Jack Foley

Ladd thinks the Bees have ants in their pants and Monsoon thinks the Dream Team is scared to put their “John Henry” on a contract with the Killer Bees. Brunzell and Gibbs trade wristlocks to start before it’s off to Blair. Gibbs misses a running elbow so Jack comes in, only to get fireman’s carried.

This lets Johnny get in another “Iwo Jima, out of ammo” line, which must have some other meaning. An atomic drop and jumping knee drop Jack and a double elbow does the same. The arm work continues as Ladd refers to the Dream Team as the “Dream Machine”. Johnny keeps talking about how ugly Foley is and a flying hip attack gives Blair the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Another slow and nothing match, with commentary sounding WAY off being the main focus. There were all kinds of tag teams around this time and the Bees, while good, weren’t exactly going to stand out when the British Bulldogs and the Harts etc. were around. They were a big enough deal here and felt like something of stars. That being said, the Jack guy would get a bit better when he started going by something closer to his real name: Mick. Yeah I know it’s not much of a secret, but I need something to get me through these matches.

Bobby Heenan says Mr. Wonderfulmania is running wild and Paul Orndorff comes in to talk about how jealous Hogan is. Hogan can’t lift like him so he stole Real American and the t-shirt ripping. Heenan chants WONDERFUL to wrap things up.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Cue that musical review!

Overall Rating: D+. Randy Savage can only give you so much on a show with almost nothing else. The Harts vs. the Islanders felt like it could have had potential but then nothing came of it due to time. The Machines are always good for a chuckle, but I need a little more than the rapid fire short matches with almost nothing worth seeing. Still though, this is about as straight up my alley as I can get so we’ll definitely be back.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 13, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

It’s the second episode and there is one simple question: how many times can Ernie Ladd use the terms “without a doubt” or “without a shadow of a doubt”? Last time was roughly 47 each in a show that didn’t even last an hour so he could get in his two statements dozens more time if he puts his mind to trying. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Quick host intro.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Funks vs. George Steele/Junkyard Dog

Unfortunately it’s Jimmy Jack instead of Terry (with Jimmy Hart). Slightly more fortunately, Steele and Dog have Lou Albano with them. After Steele stops to eat a turnbuckle, Dog fires off some headbutts to clear out the Funks again. We actually start with Hoss (Dory) being rammed into the corner as Albano gives us an inset interview to talk about Steele and Dog working together well because they’re so different. He goes on so long that the inset window goes away mid sentence, which might be the best idea.

Steele gets taken into the corner as commentary bickers incessantly. It’s off to Dog for an awkward collision with Jimmy Jack in the corner and let’s try some hogtying! Steele makes the save with a chair and it’s a belly to back suplex to finish Jimmy Jack at 2:19. Somehow this was bad even in such a short amount of time.

Post match Jimmy Jack gets hogtied for fun. Then the winners, including Albano, dance as we get a referee (ignore the one count coming before Dog had the cover).

This week’s Wrestler’s Rebuttal is from the Hart Foundation, who don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been called Beer Belly and Greaseball but Bret says they’re the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. Dang he got that one in earlier than I thought.

Kamala vs. Mario Mancini

Kamala (or Kamalee according to Lord Alfred Hayes) has Wizard and Kim Chee with him. After taking a good bit of time to get rid of his stuff, Kamala chops away on Mancini, even after he’s already down. The inset promo from the Wizard (identified as Curtis Iaukea by Monsoon) talks about getting a monster in Singapore as the squash continues. A kick to the ribs sets up more chops and the splash finishes Mancini at 1:59.

Captain Lou Albano talks about his psychologists/gynecologists (right) working with George Steele. Intelligence aside, he has the heart of a lion and knows every move. He may not use them, but he knows them you see. Steele grew up with a lisp but had a steel plate put over his tongue in a failed attempt to cure his speech impediment. Now he’s fighting….multiple sclerosis? Well that got serious quickly. Steele says he was told to be vicious, so he’ll do be vicious to Randy Savage.

Hillbilly Jim/Cousin Luke vs. Jack Kruger/Joe Mirto

The Hillbillies get jumped from behind to start but get cleared out without much trouble. Jim beats on Mirto as we hear from Jimmy Hart, who is sending his boys after the Hillbillies because he doesn’t like country music. Luke slams Mirto but misses an elbow, allowing Kruger to come in. Ladd says Luke’s tennis shoes are called “burglar boots” where he’s from as Luke fights up and brings Jim back in. A double slam sets up a bearhug to finish Kruger at 2:37. Hillbilly Jim was fun but adding in his relatives dragged the act down fast.

Interviewer Ken Resnick talks about how many great teams there are here and brings in the undefeated Rougeaus. They want to face every team to get their hands on the British Bulldogs for the Tag Team Titles. They inspire each other and while they respect the Bulldogs, they like the titles more. Both of them are a bit chatty but they were a fine team.

Honky Tonk Man is coming soon and talks about going out dancing last night with the 57 Chevy top down. He wants Paul Orndorff too. This gimmick as a face is an all time WHAT WERE THEY THINKING moment.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Roger Kirby

Steamboat leapfrogs him a few times to start but gets hiptossed for his efforts. The armdrags into an armbar put Kirby down and that works so well that Steamboat does it again. An atomic drop gets Kirby out of trouble and he kind of awkwardly kicks at Steamboat in what might have been a bit of miscommunication. Steamboat can’t chop out of the corner but he can ram Kirby into the buckle. Kirby is fine enough to knock him into the ropes though and Steamboat’s leg gets tied up. Back in and Steamboat slides between the legs, hits a slam, and finishes with the high crossbody at 4:23.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a weird one as Steamboat was beaten up more than you would have expected him to be. That being said, I could watch Steamboat all day as there are very few people who can make wrestling look so smooth. That slide through the legs and high crossbody looked great and Steamboat is one of the only few who can pull that off.

We go to the Snake Pit with Hillbilly Jim as this week’s guest. Jake talks about putting together one of his mom’s recipes but Jim isn’t impressed. Instead, Jake tells him to stomp twice if he doesn’t understand him. Jim says he’ll stay quiet and let the fools talk. They trade witty expressions (Jake’s is about a bird and Jim says sometimes the lights are on but no one is home). This was a weird one even by Jake standards.

King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd vs. Billy Jack Hayes/Paul Roma

Hayes can’t get anywhere with Studd so we’ll go with an insert promo from Harley Race, who brags about being a king. Studd has to block some slam attempts and hands it off to Bundy for an elbow to the face. The splash misses in the corner though and Roma comes in to clean house. That must last for a full seven seconds before Bundy hits the Avalanche in the corner for the pin at 2:34.

Corporal Kirchner/Jim Powers/Salvatore Bellomo vs. Hercules/Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Slick and Freddie Blassie are here with the villains. It’s a big brawl to start as the Americans break up the Russian national anthem (which earned some trash in the ring). We settle down to Sheik suplexing Bellomo and Hercules coming in to knee Powers in the ribs. As commentary suggests that Slick has an army of ladies of the evening in his employment, Sheik hits a running crotch attack to the back of the neck. We get an insert promo from Billy Graham, talking about his chimney being made of human skulls. With that out of the way, Hercules torture racks Powers for the win at 2:54.

Jimmy Hart and the Hart Foundation don’t like being called nasty boys. They’ve been accused of cheating and insist it is their skill/muscle that make them great. They’re coming for the British Bulldogs.

Here’s who’s coming next week.

Here is your musical review to wrap it up.

Overall Rating: C. They keep this show moving and that is a lot of fun every time. It is great to see the show have so much packed into about 45 minutes as opposed to one thing dominating the show. This was another easy to watch show and we’re inching closer to some of the biggest stuff the WWF will ever do, so it’s just getting started.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: September 6, 1986
Location: Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Ernie Ladd, Johnny V

It’s the debut episode so this is kind of a big one. This is one of those shows that is right up my alley as it is actually a standard show rather than a collection of house show matches. In short, Wrestling Challenge (the new form of All Star Wrestling) debuted at the same time as Superstars (the new form of Championship Wrestling), as the WWF takeover continues. Since there are 23 episodes on Peacock, we might as well have some fun. Let’s get to it.

Commentary welcomes us to the show. Well Gorilla does, as the other two don’t say anything.

Opening sequence. Dang that’s a lot of Hogan.

Here’s who you’ll see on the show.

US Express vs. Don Muraco/Iron Mike Sharpe

That would be Mike Rotundo/Dan Spivey, the lesser version of the team. Fuji is here with the villains and Lord Alfred Hayes is the ring announcer for some reason. Muraco stalls in the corner to start before grabbing a headlock as we get an inset promo from Billy Graham of all people, talking about facing the elements. He’s on his way back to the boogaloo on the scene, event as Spivey comes in for a slam into some armdrags on Muraco.

It’s off to Sharpe to send Spivey into the corner but a bad backdrop and not great dropkick put Sharp down. Rotundo airplane spines Sharpe and everything breaks down. A small package has Sharpe in trouble but Muraco turns it over, only to have Spivey turn it over so Rotundo can get the pin at 3:05.

Rating: C-. So that’s the first match in the history of Wrestling Challenge and it was as basic as you could get. The Spivey version of the US Express wasn’t very good and that was on full display here. They’re fine for a midcard team but you would think the WWF might want to start things off a bit hotter than this. The ending was good though.

We get a Wrestler’s Rebuttal from Randy Savage, who doesn’t like fans cheering for Elizabeth so much. They should be cheering for him instead, so GET ON THE BANDWAGON! Savage could make milk and cookies intense.

Adrian Adonis vs. Tommy Sharp

Adonis has Jimmy Hart and Bob Orton with him. Adonis rolls around to start and takes Sharp down, with Johnny V saying “Iwo Jima, out of ammo”. Monsoon says Adonis chewing gum during the match is dangerous before we get an inset promo from Orton, who says the money and working conditions are better under Adonis than Roddy Piper. He’s even starting to like the smell of the flowers!

Adonis works on the arm and sends Sharp outside for daring to try his own armbar. Hart offers a distraction so Orton can come in with a belly to back suplex/top rope clothesline combination to give Adonis the pin at 2:57. Commentary makes sure to point out that referee Danny Davis was more than a bit off with Hart’s interference. That was a big finish for a match that didn’t even last three minutes.

Bob Orton talks about how much better an offer he received from Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Roddy Piper went off to Hollywood and stopped sending him the checks so their contract was off. Yeah he wears a pink hat and he is well paid to do so. Orton stood behind Piper so he could say everything he wanted and now he’ll stand behind Adonis as well.

Koko B. Ware vs. Bob Bradley

Ware has been around for all of a few weeks at this point at most (he doesn’t even have Frankie yet). Dancing ensues on the way to the ring as Johnny V thinks Koko sounds like a breakfast cereal. We get an inset promo from Ware, complete with a mini boom box on his shoulder, where he says he wants everyone in the WWF to do the Bird. Feeling out process to start with Bradley grabbing a headlock but Koko is back up with a running crossbody. Bradley slugs away as commentary is a bit split over the idea of the match’s female referee. Koko elbows him in the face and hits a pair of dropkicks. A middle rope dropkick and a splash finishes Bradley at 3:03.

Rating: C-. You can see the skill in Koko but he needs to polish things up a bit. There are some things that can change him up enough and that will make things work. Ware can do the fast paced style and that is always going to get over, with the dancing making it even better. This wasn’t the best match though as Bradley got in a bit too much offense, especially with Ware being a newcomer.

Jimmy Hart says he needs a lot of bodyguards, which is why he hired Bob Orton. Oh and Adrian Adonis will be the next World Champion.

Paul Orndorff vs. Troy Martin

Orndorff has Bobby Heenan with him and comes out to Real American in an angle I would love to see used again. He even throws in the hand to the ear for a nice bonus. We get an inset interview from Honky Tonk Man, who doesn’t like Orndorff stealing from HIS FRIEND Hulk Hogan. Honky Tonk Man promises to get Orndorff somewhere as Martin is sent over the barricade. Back in and Orndorff hits him in the face before walking around a bit. The piledriver finishes Martin at 1:44. He would do a bit better when he changed his name to Shane Douglas (or Troy Orndorff, when he was billed as Paul’s nephew).

And now, the first ever Snake Pit, featuring Jake Roberts promising to bring us thunder. That would be in the form of Kamala, with the Wizard (King Curtis Iaukea) and handler Kim Chee. The Wizard brought Kamala 22,000 miles to unleash evil here. One day the Wizard was in the VIP lounge in Singapore (this isn’t where I was expecting it to go) and the Sultan of Brunei wanted Kamala to wreck people. That was a weird way to go but at least they had Iaukea’s creepy voice.

We go to a clip (which had aired before) of Harley Race being crowned King of the WWE. Bobby Heenan reading the proclamation. Race comes to the ring with Lord Littlebrook carrying his crown as the ring is full of various villains. Heenan officially crowns him the King and the fans are so incensed that they hold up signs that say BOO. The LONG LIVE THE KING chants are on (at least from Heenan) and Race is taken out on King Kong Bundy and Big John Studd’s shoulders. Well that was awesome in a rather 1986 way.

We see a clip of Lou Albano’s new team (yeah I’m shocked too): THE MACHINES! That was so stupid that it was hilarious.

British Bulldogs vs. Moondogs

Non-title and Lou Albano (he gets around) is here with the Bulldogs. The Moondogs jumps them before the bell and the fight starts fast. That’s fine with the Bulldogs who send the Moondogs into each other. We settle down to Spot tripping Dynamite from the floor before coming in for a suplex and a near fall.

Rex comes in and elbows Dynamite in the face but a sunset flip and crossbody get Dynamite out of trouble. Well for all of three seconds or so as the Moondogs take him back into the corner to keep up the beating. A clothesline drops Spot though and the hot tag brings in Davey to clean house. The suplex gets one on Spot as everything breaks down. The Moondogs double team Dynamite but Davey comes in off a blind tag for a high crossbody and the pin at 4:21.

Rating: C. Can we call it a dog fight? Anyway, the Bulldogs were a step ahead of just about everyone else and the Moondogs were little more than a quick opponent for them to fight off. It wasn’t even a title match so how much of a threat was this going to be? The Moondogs don’t get the attention that they deserve as they were rather decent as an oddball team and stayed around for a rather long time.

Jake Roberts, fresh off DDTing Ricky Steamboat on the concrete floor on Saturday Night’s Main Event, isn’t worried about the calls to ban the DDT. The DDT is cruel but fair and Roberts walks the way he wants to. He’ll drop you so fast that your whole family will feel it. Randy Savage comes in as Roberts says everyone has rainbows to look at. Savage: “I’ve seen rainbows before.” They march to their own beat because they’re their own men. Yep, that’s a scary team.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We get a musical review (Gorilla’s words) of this week’s action, meaning a quick highlight package.

Overall Rating: C. This is about as fun of a show as I could ask for and that was the case this week. It is such an 80s show, but it is a little weird to not have Hogan around in some way. For now though, we got a nice mixture of squashed and interviews, which is a nice way to spend about 45 minutes. This is about the fun instead of the quality, and I’m certainly good for twenty two more shows.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 19, 2008
Location: Sports Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re done with No Way Out and on the way to Wrestlemania, which probably won’t mean much for ECW. Chavo Guerrero retained the ECW World Title by defeating CM Punk, again, and that means we need something else on the way to Orlando. I doubt we get that this week, but you have to start somewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is Ric Flair to get things going with an in-ring interview with Tazz. After the traditional sucking up, Tazz congratulates Flair on being the first inductee into the 2008 Hall Of Fame class. Flair says it’s an honor, but being the first active wrestler to be inducted may be the ultimate honor. He isn’t going to retire, but he knows that he has to retire after his next loss. That won’t be happening anytime soon though, so WOO!

Cue Elijah Burke to interrupt and say he was a Flair fan growing up. Vince McMahon told him to usher in the new generation and that is what he’s done, so give him four fingers. Cue Shelton Benjamin to interrupt the interrupter and congratulate Flair for always being the Gold Standard. At least he was though, because now Benjamin is in that spot. Flair doesn’t buy their sincerity and says no matter what they do, they’ll never equal sixteen World Titles. The fight is on until CM Punk runs in for the save.

Post break Burke and Benjamin aren’t happy. Armando Alejandro Estrada comes in to make the obvious tag match.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jason Riggs

Riggs’ headlock doesn’t last long as Kingston slips out and armdrags him into an armbar. Back up and Riggs grabs a slam into a chinlock, with Kofi fighting up for the double chop. The double legdrop sets up Trouble In Paradise to give Kofi the fast pin.

Post match Kofi says he’ll keep winning.

We look at Vince McMahon and JBL destroying Hornswoggle in a cage on Raw. Finlay carrying Hornswoggle out was a great visual.

Miz vs. Colin Delaney

John Morrison and Tommy Dreamer are here too. Miz mocks the heavily bandaged Delaney to start and knocks him into the corner for the running clothesline. Delaney gets in a few shots so Morrison offers a distraction. That’s enough to earn himself an ejection and Delaney grabs a rollup for two. Miz isn’t having this and Reality Checks him for the pin.

Post match Dreamer goes after Miz but the villains beat down both Dreamer and Delaney without much trouble.

We look at Maria beating Beth Phoenix to earn the right to be in Playboy.

Kelly Kelly is proud of Maria and would love to be in Playboy someday.

Stevie Richards vs. James Curtis

We get another clip of Stevie’s interview from a few weeks ago and it’s now the third time we’ve heard the same story. Curtis clotheslines him down and Richards grabs his throat. Said throat is gone after with a chinlock but Richards kicks him in the ribs a few times. A running splash in the corner sets up the StevieT to finish Curtis fast.

Raw Rebound.

CM Punk/Ric Flair vs. Shelton Benjamin/Elijah Burke

Punk and Burke get things going as Joey explains that Flair’s career is NOT on the line because this is a tag match. At least that gives us a tiny bit more uncertainty about the winner. A slam drops Burke early and Flair comes in for the chops. Burke gets smart by poking him in the eye and Benjamin comes in, only for Flair to go up top for a DOUBLE SHOT TO THE VILLAINS and we take a break.

Back with Flair avoiding a charge in the corner and doing a Flair Flop into the corner for the tag to Punk (that was cute). House is cleaned but Benjamin shoves off a running bulldog attempt. The villains start working on the ribs, including Benjamin hitting a buckle bomb and almost powerbombing Punk out to the floor (that should have been a bigger deal). Back in and Punk escapes a powerbomb and hits a jumping enziguri, allowing the tag back to Flair. Everything breaks down and Benjamin kicks Flair’s leg out to break up a suplex. The Elijah Express misses though and Flair Figure Fours him for the win.

Rating: C. Completely basic match here with a grand total of almost nothing in the way of doubt about the result. Flair’s next loss is going to be a big deal and it isn’t happening to a pair of pretty midcard names on ECW. It’s nice to have Flair in a nothing match like this for a change though, and it isn’t like Burke losing hurts him in the slightest.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was watchable enough at best and that’s about all the praise I can give it. The biggest problem here is that it felt like a nothing show where they just got in and out without doing anything important. That doesn’t exactly get us onto the Road to Wrestlemania that well but at least they didn’t have anything to that badly. Uninteresting yes, but badly no.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 12, 2008
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 14,307
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

The now seemingly never ending feud between Chavo Guerrero and CM Punk continues after Punk knocked Guerrero into the Gulf of Mexico last week. We are still on the way to their next match at No Way Out and odds are Guerrero is going to do something to get back at Punk this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at last week’s Gulf Of Mexico match.

Opening sequence.

Here is Chavo Guerrero to get things going. He stands before you, lucky to be alive, as CM Punk threw him into the Gulf Of Mexico and he can’t even swim! Now he has a HORRIBLE sinus infection, plus some pink spots on his throat. He’s had migraines too and these TV lights are making it worse. When he was in the water, he was stung by a jellyfish!

But he is a Mexican warrior so he’ll defend the ECW Title against Punk TONIGHT. Cue Armando Alejandro Estrada to say that while he is proud of Chavo, he can’t let that match happen. Chavo is still sick, but Punk can have a warmup match tonight….against Mark Henry. Works for Chavo!

We look at Stevie Richards’ sitdown interview last week where he talks about wanting to come back from his latest surgery. This was a great way to build sympathy for him and it worked well.

Stevie Richards vs. Rory Fox

Richards grabs a headlock to start before taking Fox down for a kick to the chest/back each. A big boot and a double underhook DDT finishes Fox in a hurry, leaving Richards looking very pleased.

Video on Mark Henry.

Kelly Kelly vs. Layla

Lena Yada is here with Layla, who takes Kelly down with a headscissors to start. Kelly fights up but gets knocked into the corner as Tazz tries to talk about their looks without sounding creepy and not quite making it work. Layla starts in on the arm, including legdrops and an armbar to mix things up a bit. Kelly breaks it up and manages a high crossbody for two, followed by a Fameasser for the pin.

Rating: C-. I don’t think it’s anys ecret that this crop of women weren’t exactly great in the ring but they did seem to be trying. Having a match that was just under four minutes and could have been far worse isn’t the worst result and they do seem to be getting more comfortable in the ring. Keep working on that and see just how far they can take things.

Kofi Kingston vs. Mike Knox

Kofi picks up the pace to start but can’t quite take the much bigger Knox down. He can however monkey flip Knox, who comes back with a shot to the face. Knox stomps him down in the corner as we do get a KOFI chant, though I’m not sure if enough people seem to be cheering it to reach that volume level. Kofi fights up and hits a kick to the face and the double legdrop. The spinning kick to the head finishes Knox off.

Rating: C. Another basic but effective match here as Kofi is starting to establish more of a style. He has a long way to go, but beating some slightly more difficult competition like Knox is a good thing. Knox hasn’t been a big deal in awhile, but beating someone who used to be a bigger deal is better than beating someone who has never been anything.

No Way Out rundown.

John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Miz and Colin Delaney are the seconds and the villains handle Dreamer and Delaney’s entrances in a rather negative way. Dreamer takes him down to start and sends things outside to keep up the beating. Miz grabs the foot though and Dreamer gets to crash out to the floor.

Back in and Morrison grabs a seated abdominal stretch before switching to the classic idea of punching him in the face. Dreamer avoids a charge though and Morrison crotches himself on the rope. After knocking Miz off the apron, Dreamer walks into Morrison’s springboard spinning kick to the face. The flipping neckbreaker is broken up though and Dreamer’s DDT finishes Morrison off.

Rating: C. It’s still low level stuff, but Delaney having any kind of a friend is a good thing and gives his story a better future. Sometimes that’s all you need and is has given the story a new life. Delaney takes a good beating and that can get him pretty far, with the obvious tag match being the big endgame from here.

Post match Miz and Morrison beat down Delaney and Dreamer.

Mark Henry says this is going to be a funeral.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

Chavo Guerrero comes out to watch. Punk slugs away and is promptly run over with a hard shoulder. The big elbow drop misses but Henry throws him down without any trouble. Henry posts him hard and then chokes inside for the DQ.

Post match Punk kicks Henry to the floor and gives Chavo the GTS to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. You can see the stories that they are putting together around here and while that is a good thing, it would be nice if the stories were a bit more interesting. The nothing women’s feud and a Tommy Dreamer mentor story are only going to get so far. At the same time it’s still CM Punk vs. Chavo Guerrero as the top feud. How far is that supposed to get you? Watchable enough show, but they still need something interesting.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: February 5, 2008
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in the Chavo Guerrero era and last week saw a rather obvious mariachi reveal (there’s a weird statement) as CM Punk is still trying to get his title back. Other than that, we have Tommy Dreamer standing up to help the eternally injured Colin Delaney, which could go in a few directions. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here is CM Punk to get things going. Punk talks about Chavo Guerrero’s fiesta last week and we see a clip of Mariachi Punk hitting him with a guitar. Back in the arena, Punk says he is invoking his rematch clause right now and wants Chavo out here in this ring. Cue Chavo, who doesn’t think that rematch is happening tonight. Punk can have his rematch, but it’s going to be at No Way Out.

Last week, Punk embarrassed him so tonight, he is embarrassing Punk. We cut to Armando Alejandro Estrada, who is outside the arena, next to the Gulf of Mexico. Tonight, it’s Chavo vs. Punk in the first ever Gulf of Mexico match, where anything goes and you win by throwing your opponent into the Gulf. Well that’s unique.

Victoria/Layla vs. Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly

Lena Yada is here with Victoria/Layla. Kelly flips out of Layla’s wristlock to start before pretty badly mistiming a handspring elbow in the corner. Michelle comes in for a Hennig necksnap so it’s off to Victoria, who gets forearmed in the face. A shot in the corner slows Michelle down though and Victoria takes out her knee. That doesn’t last long as Michelle gets over to Kelly, who high crossbodies Victoria down. There’s a headscissors to make it worse but as everything breaks down, Lena grabs Kelly’s leg so the Widow’s Peak can give Victoria the pin.

Rating: C-. Kelly is trying to get better but you can only get so far with her timing issues. That can come with work and time but it isn’t there yet. Michelle is getting better as her size and athleticism helps, but you can only get so far wrestling Victoria so many times. Not a terrible match, though keeping the match this short was the only way to go.

We look back at Shelton Benjamin walking out on a match with Kane last week. Their rematch is on Smackdown.

Wrestlemania video, set to the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Weird that this is included here but was missing on Raw.

John Morrison vs. Tommy Dreamer

Miz and Colin Delaney are here too. Dreamer hits a shoulder block to start and armdrags him into an armbar. Back up and Morrison gets in a shot of his own and chokes on the apron to send Dreamer outside. Dreamer has to save the heavily bandaged Delaney, allowing Morrison to get in another shot to take over again.

The chinlock goes on before something close to Miz’s old Mizard of Oz gets two. Morrison misses a corkscrew moonsault though and the comeback is on, including a flapjack to give Dreamer two. There’s the reverse DDT to drop Morrison but Delaney has to cut off an invading Miz. That’s enough of a distraction that Morrison can neckbreaker Dreamer for the pin.

Rating: C. Dreamer is still fine in this role and it isn’t like he is going to be in any major story for the time being. Having him act as Delaney’s protector makes sense and could turn into something down the line. Miz and Morrison need some challengers anyway so let someone be built up for a change.

We get a sitdown interview with Stevie Richards, who talks about his latest throat surgery. His neck was hurt back in 1997 when Terry Funk dropped a barricade on him (and yes we see a clip), which somehow hurt his vocal chords. He has had nine throat surgeries since then but he’ll be back in the ring next week. Richards has been a heck of a surprise in this ECW and I’m glad to see him back.

Kofi Kingston vs. James Curtis

Kofi takes him down into an armbar to start and then twists Curtis down by the wrist. Curtis is back up with his own armbar and works on his own wristlock as the fans do not sound overly interested. Thankfully they pick up the pace a bit with some chops and a jumping elbow dropping Curtis. There’s the jumping double leg and the spinning kick to the face gives Kofi the pin.

Rating: C-. Kofi is one of the more unique looking stars in a good while and it is cool to watch him do his stuff, but spending more than half of the match working on the arms is only going to get you so far. I still wonder if Curtis could have been something, as he had a decent look and could wrestle a competent enough match.

No Way Out rundown.

Chavo Guerrero vs. CM Punk

Non-title Gulf of Mexico match, meaning you win by throwing the other person into the Gulf. They’re both in jeans (and their respective t-shirts of course) to start before the brawl goes outside rather quickly. Chavo knocks him over the barricade and into some chairs but Punk is back with some strikes of his own. Punk gets dropped ribs first onto a wall but fight back and they fight out into the concourse. It’s time to go outside where Punk punches in him the face, earning himself a whip onto the hood of a well timed car.

We take a break and come back with Punk slamming him onto the hood of another car. A backdrop sends Chavo into the windshield but he’s right back with some kicks to the ribs. They go over towards the water, where they scare off some very confused fishermen. Chavo chucks the fishermen’s cooler at Punk but can’t manage to throw him into the Gulf. An attempt at a suplex into the Gulf is blocked and Punk GTS’s him into the water for the win.

Rating: C+. This worked in a weird way, partially due to the lack of commentary when they came back from the break and partially due to letting them have a unique fight. Punk vs. Chavo has been done to death in the ring so let them get out of the ring and mix it up a bit. The next title match is already set up and Punk getting to pose against the night sky after throwing Chavo into the Gulf of Mexico is certainly a way to make things more interesting.

Overall Rating: C. The main event was the best part of the show but it wasn’t enough to carry the rest. There were too many things on here that just weren’t very good and it dragged things down a bit. ECW is still a one to two story show at best and while it is only an hour a week, it isn’t the most interesting hour as the dull parts are really hurting the good pieces.

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ECW On Sci Fi
Date: January 29, 2008
Location: Sovereign Center, Reading, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Tazz

We are done with the Royal Rumble and that doesn’t mean much for ECW. Given that the new ECW World Champion Chavo Guerrero was in the Rumble and competing for a shot at a title rather than being the possible champion being challenged, there isn’t much to be excited about around here. I’m sure CM Punk will want some revenge though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Chavo Guerrero stealing the ECW World Title from CM Punk with an assist from Edge.

Opening sequence.

Kane vs. Shelton Benjamin

This could have been very interesting a few years ago. Kane fires off the uppercuts to start and knocks Benjamin outside to keep up the beating. Back in and Benjamin jumps to the top rope to break up the clothesline and superplex Kane back down. Benjamin goes smart by going after the knee, including wrapping it around the post. A DDT on the leg sets up a half crab but Kane fights up. Kane grabs a powerslam and side slam, setting up the top rope clothesline. The chokeslam is broken up by the Dragon Whip but Kane kicks him in the face. That’s enough to send Benjamin to the floor where he takes the countout.

Rating: C. This is a match that felt like it had some potential and they were starting to go somewhere when Benjamin walked. They went with power vs. athleticism here and it worked pretty well, which had me wanting to see a longer version. Benjamin shouldn’t be losing yet and you don’t want to beat a monster like Kane so this was the best option they had.

Kelly Kelly vs. Victoria

Kelly looks sacred to start and Victoria sending her into the corner doesn’t make it much better. Cue Lena Yada and Layla as Victoria hammers away in the corner and tosses Kelly down by the hair. The spinning side slam is countered into a headscissors and Kelly makes the clothesline comeback. A rollup gives Kelly two but Victoria is right back with the Widow’s Peak for the fast pin.

Post match Yada and Layla beat Kelly down and leave with Victoria.

Colin Delaney, now with even more bandages, gets to wrestle again this week!

Miz/John Morrison vs. Colin Delaney

Non-title. Morrison knocks him into the corner to start and Miz whips Morrison into the same corner for a splash. With Delaney being sent outside, Miz holds him for a dropkick through the ropes from Morrison. Back in and the flipping neckbreaker sets up the double arrogant pin to finish Delaney off.

Post match the beatdown stays on but Tommy Dreamer makes the save.

CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk grabs a headlock to start but Burke knocks him away, setting up a top rope forearm for two. The chinlock with a bodyscissors keeps Punk in trouble until he fights up, only to have Burke jumps on his back to pull him into the same hold. Back up and Punk sends him into the ropes, setting up the GTS for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. They didn’t do much here as it wasn’t a long match and a good chunk of it was spent in a chinlock. Punk has beaten Burke so many times now that it is hard to get interested in seeing it again but at least it has been a few weeks now. Punk is likely going after Chavo again and Burke….well he’s still here too.

We look at Rey Mysterio 619ing Vickie Guerrero at the Royal Rumble, putting her back in the wheelchair.

Kofi Kingston vs. Rob Eckos

Eckos is better known as Robbie E or Mr. Stone in NXT. Kofi grabs a headlock to start and takes him down by the leg. Eckos gets knocked down again and the double legdrop sets up the spinning kick to the head to give Kofi the fast pin.

And now, ECW goes mariachi as it’s time as Armando Alejandro Estrada is emceeing Chavo Guerrero’s title celebration. The fact that there is one band member with his back to the camera and happens to be rather CM Punk shaped is just a coincidence I assure you. Estrada apologizes to Chavo for Vickie Guerrero and Edge not being here but we do get a video from Edge, saying he’s there to comfort Vickie. The two of them congratulate Chavo for making Vickie’s dreams come true.

We see a video on Chavo’s WWE career, with a Bobby Heenan line from WCW for a weird fit. With that out of the way, Chavo talks about how Edge is his brother and friend. Chavo promises that Edge will get Rey Mysterio for what he did to Vickie before moves on to saying CM Punk is NOT the future of this business.

For now though, it is time for the fiesta and the band starts playing again as the red and green balloons fall. Then the CM Punk shaped band member turns to face the camera and why yes, it is CM Punk (with a big fake mustache), who blasts Chavo with the guitar. I’d really hope this wasn’t supposed to be a surprise because they couldn’t have made it much more obvious.

Overall Rating: C. This was a show heavy with short matches and that didn’t make for the best week. At the same time though, it doesn’t help that there was almost nothing coming out of the Royal Rumble for ECW. The Punk reveal at the end wasn’t quite a surprise, though I can’t imagine that is what they were trying for here. Punk vs. Chavo V or whatever it is next time isn’t that interesting, but at least it should mean Punk moves on to something else.

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WrestleFest 1993
Hosts: Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

It’s back to Coliseum Video and in this case we’re jumping to one of the weaker times the company has had. The good thing is that these tapes almost always have something worth seeing and there is always a hope that we could see the same thing here. There is no major theme here most of the time and that makes things more fun. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, featuring various stars of the era and yeah this was likely put together in late 1992.

Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan are on a road trip for the Coliseum Video headquarters, which I believe was a story that Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Hayes did in a previous tape. The car breaks down but worry not because Heenan knows that he can fix it. After breaking the hood ornament, they get the hood open so Heenan can look around. But now, a match!

From Madison, Wisconsin, December 15, 1992.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Nasty Boys

Money Inc., with Jimmy Hart, is defending and IRS thinks the fans like the Nasty Boys because they ALL CHEAT ON THEIR TAXES! Sidenote: how did IRS and Repo Man not get together at some point? Shouldn’t that have been an obvious pairing? The brawl starts before the bell with the champs being knocked outside as Hayes starts making money jokes.

DiBiase and Sags start things off with DiBiase working on the arm. A hiptoss sets up a missed elbow drops and it’s Knobbs coming in to stay on the arm. The Nasties take turns on said arm but IRS is a good partner who breaks up the Pit Stop. IRS comes in and gets his arm cranked on as well but a drop toehold gets him out of trouble. Knobbs….wins a mat wrestle off (I’m as shocked as you are) and it’s time to work on IRS’ arm some more.

They head out to the floor with a distraction letting IRS drive Sags into the apron. Back in and the champs start taking over, including a bearhug of all things from DiBiase. A bite get Sags out of trouble but IRS makes the save and grabs a bearhug of his own. Sags manages to send the champs into each other and it’s Knobbs coming back in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the champs are knocked outside, which is enough for the two of them to walk out.

Hold on though as the referee says not so fast, because if they don’t answer the ten count, the titles change hands (that was a Money Inc. signature spot). Back in and DiBiase gets in a shot to Sags and grabs the Million Dollar Dream. That’s broken up as well and a faceplant is enough to bring Knobbs back in. Everything breaks down again and Sags drops his always bad top rope elbow onto IRS for two. Hart offers a distraction though and DiBiase’s belt shot retains the titles at 13:23.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going but they went with what was more or less a house show finish. That makes enough sense given the situation but it is still a bit more than a disappointing ending. The Nasty Boys were getting warm again at this point but I don’t know if they were hot enough to win the titles.

From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, October 12, 1992.

Crush vs. Papa Shango

This is a different one. Shango jumps him from behind to start and the beating is on fast. A running crossbody in the corner hits Crush but he manages a quick backbreaker. Crush hits a superkick to put Shango on the floor as Sean talks about Crush moving a bunch of wood in a barn. The story doesn’t have quite the impact as Shango wins a test of strength and takes him down. Hayes’ advice: cheat.

Crush doesn’t go evil and fights up for the comeback, only to miss a splash in the corner. The beating is back on until Shango misses a jumping legdrop and now the real comeback can be on. A big boot knocks Shango outside and there’s a clothesline to do it again. That’s finally enough for Shango, who grabs his skull staff and shoots fireworks into Crush’s eyes for the DQ at 6:48.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much of a power match and the ending didn’t make it any better. Crush was getting bigger and bigger at this point but he was still beneath Shango, so this wasn’t the worst decision. The ending didn’t make things much better though and this was a pretty lame match.

Crush looks mildly perturbed. Not hurt or anything, but annoyed.

From Hershey, Pennsylvania, September 1, 1992.

Big Boss Man vs. Rick Martel

Boss Man knocks him around to start and Martel accuses him of a hair pull. Then he does it again, with the referee, who was looking right at them, taking Martel’s word for it. With that not working, Boss Man MESSES WITH Martel’s hair, which is enough to earn him some knees in the corner. A hiptoss sends Martel outside though as this is one sided so far. Back in and Boss Man starts working on the arm before sending Martel into the corner over and over. With nothing else working, Martel grabs the atomizer, meaning Boss Man grabs the nightstick and that’s a double DQ at 6:10.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t great as Boss Man more or less squashed him until the lame ending. You really can’t have Rick Martel take the Boss Man Slam in late 1992? Boss Man was on a downward trajectory at this point but he should be able to get a win here. Also, back to back DQ finishes after a cheating ending isn’t quite the hot start to a tape.

Bobby and Gene are still looking at the engine, with the sun rapidly going down.

From Dayton, Ohio, November 24, 1992.

Earthquake vs. Repo Man

Earthquake sends him into the corner for a splash as Sean talks about how this is an exclusive for WrestleFest 1993. The fact that this match is also on Smack Em Whack Em makes me think I need to reevaluate my thoughts on Sean Mooney. Earthquake charges into a shot in the corner and gets ax handled down but the beating doesn’t last long. Back up and Earthquake runs him over, setting up the Earthquake for the pin at 4:22.

Rating: D+. Aside from my faith in Mooney being shattered, this was a pretty nothing match, with Earthquake shrugging off Repo Man’s basic offense and winning with the usual. There isn’t much that can be said for Repo Man in the ring, but he was so over the top as a character that it became memorable.

From Louisville, Kentucky, October 28, 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Virgil vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending in a match that appears on three different tapes. Shawn takes him down to start and gets in some taunting, which earns Hayes’ approval. Virgil fights back with an atomic drop into a dropkick for a fast two but a kick to the face cuts him off in a hurry. One heck of a dropkick drops Virgil again but commentary is too upset about Shawn chewing gum during a match. I mean….well yeah kind of.

Shawn grabs a chinlock for a bit, followed by a suplex to drop Virgil again. A faceplant gets Virgil out of trouble and he hits a clothesline to the back of the head. The rapid fire punches spin Shawn around for a delayed two and a middle rope clothesline gets the same. That’s a bit too much for Shawn, who grabs the Tear Drop suplex to retain at 7:07.

Rating: C. Completely watchable match as Virgil had a good comeback but wasn’t going to beat someone anywhere near as good as Shawn. That’s not a bad place to be either, as Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise at this point and few people were going to be able to give him a run for his money. Also, it’s nice to see a clean finish for a change.

From Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, June 1, 1992.

Undertaker vs. Berzerker

Paul Bearer and Mr. Fuji are the seconds. Hayes says that Undertaker is a sex symbol in Europe for your disturbing thought of the day. Berzerker jumps him to start and gets uppercutted right into the corner. Undertaker charges into a corner though and a running dropkick sends him to the floor. Brawling outside works fine for Undertaker but he misses the running clothesline back inside.

They head right back to the floor with Undertaker being sent into various steps and then the apron (the STEEL apron according to Hayes), setting up a big chair shot. Back in and Undertaker fights back, only to miss the big elbow. Berzerker goes outside again and chokes with a cord, setting up a running bulldog back inside. Undertaker gets laid against the ropes for some right hands but manages to backdrop him over the top.

That does nothing so Berzerker is right back in for a piledriver, which Undertaker no sells. Then he hits a piledriver, which Undertaker no sells. Then he hits a piledriver, which Undertaker….actually sells, allowing Berzerker to drop a knee. Fuji hands in the sword (because there’s a sword), but Undertaker takes it away, only to have Fuji grab the leg. That doesn’t work for Undertaker, who clotheslines him down and hits the Tombstone for the pin at 7:52.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match where they knew there was almost no one paying attention so they had a pretty goofy match. Undertaker popping up from the piledrivers was funny but the sword stuff was so goofy that it didn’t make much of a difference. At the same time, at least it wasn’t ANOTHER DQ finish.

Post match Fuji comes in, earning a Tombstone (the safest I’ve seen in a long time) of his own.

Heenan and Gene still don’t have any luck with the car, though they do have some extra parts.

From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, July 9, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. IRS

Well this is kind of out of nowhere. Duggan goes personal/business by stomping IRS’ briefcase before knocking IRS down. Back up and a running shoulder drops IRS again as he’s a bit shaken to start. There’s a clothesline to do it again as this is totally one sided to start. An atomic drop and an elbow to the face put IRS on the floor, where he is tossed back in but then gets thrown outside again.

IRS FINALLY gets in a shot to the face and we hit the chinlock with a foot on the rope (or maybe IRS just got caught by mistake). This goes on far longer than it needs to until Duggan fights up and rams him into the corner ten times in a row. The three point clothesline sends IRS outside again but he pulls Duggan outside for the brawl and double countout at 8:02.

Rating: D-. This tape is getting terrible in a hurry as three of the seven matches have ended in either a countout or a DQ. Again: is it that hard to have one of these two lose with a pin? It’s a stand alone Coliseum Video and after doing one of the most boring matches you could imagine, they have that ending.

From Portland, Maine, July 21, 1992.

Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Tito Santana/High Energy

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains, despite managing AGAINST the Nasty Boys about an hour earlier. Knobbs kicks Koko into the corner to start but misses a dropkick, allowing Koko to hit a jumping elbow/hip attack. Repo and Tito come in with the latter cranking on an arm and handing it off to Owen. Sags comes in and blocks a hiptoss before Owen flips backwards and gets the hiptoss on the second try.

Knobbs low bridges Hart to the floor though and that means a BIG dive over the top, because that’s what Owen would do in this spot. Back in and the beating continues, with the villains getting to take turns this time. Repo grabs a neck crank and yells a lot before finally missing a charge. That’s enough for Santana to come back in for a dropkick and flying forearm to Sags as everything breaks down. The Nasties and Repo are sent into each other, allowing Santana to hit another flying forearm. Knobbs tries to bring in the hook and that’s enough for the DQ at 7:35.

Rating: C-. This got better in the end but I’m trying to get my head around the idea of another DQ finish. Did they really have nothing better to do with a show like this? The Nasties were about to turn face so wouldn’t a loss help them move in that direction? I can always go for a good six man, but that wasn’t quite what we got here.

From Erie, Pennsylvania, November 23, 1992.

Randy Savage vs. Terry Taylor

Note that it’s TERRIFIC Terry Taylor, not just Terry Taylor. They go with the grappling to start and Savage manages an armdrag into an armbar. Back up and they shove each other a few times, which you know won’t sit well with Savage. Taylor is sent outside but manages to punch Savage out of the air to break up the top rope ax handle. Back in and Taylor hits a backbreaker as Monsoon says youth is the only thing Taylor has going for him.

An atomic drop gives Savage two as we hear about Savage’s success in the company, which doesn’t make Monsoon sound biased at all. The sleeper is broken up rather quickly and Savage grabs a backslide for two, only to be neckbreakered back down. Something like a Vader Bomb hits raised knees though and Savage does the neck snap across the top. There’s the ax handle for two, setting up the slam and elbow to give Savage the pin at 9:44.

Rating: B-. By far the best match on the whole thing so far, which isn’t the highest bar to clear. Savage was well past his prime by this point but he was still good for a fine match against someone with Taylor’s skill. It’s amazing what happens when you have Taylor as just a guy in trunks instead of a wrestling rooster, but no one cared about someone named Terrific Terry Taylor and that was never going to change.

There’s a hamster in the car engine. That’s the big finish.

From Huntsville, Alabama, August 10, 1992.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Kamala

Kamala, with Harvey Wippleman and Kim Chee, is challenging. Commentary has no idea how Kamala is allowed to compete when he’s, you know, a savage. Bret works on the arm to start but a dropkick doesn’t actually drop him. With that not working, Bret goes back to the arm, sending Kamala to the rope (as you do in the dark jungle). Kamala wants a test of strength and Bret is way too smart for that, as he doesn’t go for it and eventually stomps on Kamala’s bare feet.

Some running shots stagger Kamala but he gets in a shot to the throat to take over. Back up and Bret charges into a bearhug before getting kicked in the face (Bret has a bad, bad history with superkicks). The chest claw goes on, then Bret fights up, then Bret gets knocked down, then the chest claw goes on again. Back up again and Bret ducks a leapfrog (ok that was cool) and grabs the Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope clothesline gets the same and the middle rope elbow connects, only to draw in Chee for the DQ (of course) at 10:04.

Rating: C. The chest claw aside, this could have been a lot worse. Bret knows how to make just about anything work and he did well enough here. Kamala was perfectly fine as a monster challenger who had no real chance and that is what we got here. Granted we also got….what, the fifth DQ on this thing? I was almost expecting it at this point.

Post match the beatdown is on but Kamala splashes Wippleman by mistake and gets knocked outside. Bret even steals Chee’s pith helmet.

From Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, October 13, 1992.

Razor Ramon vs. Tito Santana

Santana starts fast by hitting the flying forearm out to the floor before working on an armbar back inside. A dropkick and armdrag into an armbar have Ramon in more trouble but he manages a hot shot to take over. Some forearms to the back set up an abdominal stretch (it was a Razor signature even back then) but Santana reverses into one of his own. That’s broken up as well so Ramon tries a bearhug. Santana gets sent into the corner, where Razor’s pulls him out with the Razor’s Edge for the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C. I like both guys and it was nice to see Santana when he was still able to do a lot of good in the ring, though Ramon was on the rise and not about to lose anything for a good while. These two actually have a bit of a personal history too, as Santana came up with the Ramon name after Razor had picked Razor. If that isn’t enough to give you chemistry, nothing else can.

From New York City, New York, January 18, 1993.

Ric Flair vs. Mr. Perfect

This is from Raw and Loser Leaves The WWF, with Flair looking very Tommy Rich. Perfect is serious here and drives him into the corner to start as Heenan is losing it early on commentary. Flair gets slapped in the face and knocked out to the floor, leaving Perfect to seem rather cocky. Back in and they fight over arm control until Perfect gets him into the corner for some chops, setting up the Flair Flop.

As Vince and Heenan argue about driving too fast and rock music, Flair takes him into the corner and hammers away, only to have Perfect punch him right back down. Flair is so frustrated that he goes outside and grabs a chair as we’re cut (via commercial, which isn’t mentioned here) to Flair sending Perfect face first into the post and out to the floor HARD. Back in and Perfect, busted open, gets caught in a chinlock for two (yes a chinlock) but Flair’s feet are caught on the ropes.

Perfect slugs back and hammers away with right hands in the corner (Heenan: “THAT’S A CLOSED FIST!!!”) until an atomic drop slows him down. A suplex gives Perfect two but Flair is right back with a sleeper. That’s broken up after two arm breaks and Perfect grabs a sleeper of his own as Heenan is panicking over the time limit. Flair breaks it up with a belly to back and the Figure Four goes on, with Flair grabbing the rope as you knew he was going to do.

The referee finally catches Flair so it’s time to kick at the leg even more. Flair goes up top and gets slammed down as we take another break. Back again with Flair loading up the foreign object and nailing Perfect, setting up an elbow drop for two, as Perfect’s foot is on the rope. Flair might want to look next time, as the foot was on the rope before Flair even covered him.

The hard right hands to the cut set up the chop in the corner, which is enough to fire Perfect up. The comeback is on with Flair getting backdropped and going up top, only to get clotheslined out of the air for two more. Flair sweeps the leg and puts his feet on the rope for some near falls. That’s broken up so Flair ducks his head, setting up the PerfectPlex for the pin at 24:11.

Rating: A-. This is a classic and the first great match in Raw history. Flair was on his way out and made Perfect look like a star, as Perfect’s 1993 run of awesome begins. You often hear about Perfect being an amazing talent and this was the time when he felt like he could possibly break through to the main event. This is absolutely worth checking out if you haven’t seen it before and dang it was a welcome end to this never ending tape.

Gene and Bobby hitchhike as the sun is coming up. A car pulls up and Gene leaves Heenan by the side of the road, as apparently this is the first car to drive by in about twelve hours.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helps it a lot, but e pluribus gads the rest of this thing (save for Savage vs. Taylor and maybe Bret vs. Kamala, there is not much else to see here. I know I harped on it a lot but MY GOODNESS what was the point of all the disqualifications? It’s a Best Of tape and you really can’t have a few more definitive pins? This was one of the weaker Coliseum Videos I can remember, but the main event does help boost things up a lot.

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