Wrestlemania 4
Date: March 27, 1988
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,165
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Gladys Knight

This show was in a way a turning point and in a way a step backwards for the WWF. There was no way that Wrestlemania 3 was going to be topped. The problem was, after Hogan had beaten Andre the previous year, there was no one left to challenge him that would be seen as a legitimate contender. The only option was a rematch with Hogan and Andre, but Andre was hurting badly here and would need time off after the match.

Also, the title had to be taken off of Hogan for awhile to refresh his character. Now this whole show is based around one incident that took place two days after I was born on a live broadcast called The Main Event. After everyone had seen Hogan allegedly get pinned the previous year, we all needed a rematch. In between there was a new PPV developed called the Survivor Series that was established solely to continue Hogan and Andre’s feud. Now that is a sign of a huge feud.

So, on February 5, 1988, we got one. Hulk Hogan against Andre the Giant for the World’s Heavyweight Championship on free television. You may hear about Raw getting a 4.3 and it being huge. This show got a 15.8. That is a record that has never even been remotely approached and never will be. Anyway, this time around Andre had Ted DiBiase in his corner. Hogan knocks Andre down and leg drops him, but there’s no referee because of Virgil, DiBiase’s body guard.

Hogan goes after Virgil as Andre gets up. Andre headbutts Hogan a few times and lands a butterfly suplex and covers him. Hogan clearly gets his shoulder up at two but the referee doesn’t stop his count. Andre is declared the champion and immediately hands the belt to DiBiase, who had spent months trying to buy the title from Hogan. Immediately after this, another referee comes down that is literally identical to the referee that just called the match.

It’s the Hebners, that no one ever knew were identical twins. On Sunday, the President of the WWF Jack Tunney declares the title vacant and announces a one night, single elimination, 14 man tournament to determine the undisputed champion. Hogan and Andre both get byes into the second round as they were the two that started all this.

If you can handle anymore history about this show, this was also one of the first true battles in what would become WCW vs. WWF. WCW (the NWA but for the sake of sanity we’ll call it what it would become), had a PPV in November called Bunkhouse Stampede. Vince had come up with the Survivor Series and wanted to force WCW out of the spot.

He threatened to not allow the PPV companies to air Wrestlemania if they didn’t air the Survivor Series instead of Bunkhouse Stampede. The PPV companies gave in and a huge majority aired Survivor Series while only a handful aired WCW’s show, which they had initially agreed to show. Fast forward five months and it’s time for Wrestlemania 4. WCW is still ticked off about November.

One thing you have to factor in is PPV was a VERY different thing back then. In 1986 there was 1 WWF PPV which was Wrestlemania 2. In 87 there were two, 88 had 3 with the introduction of Summerslam and 89 had 4 which I believe was the standard until 1991 or 1992. It wasn’t until about 1996 that the PPV schedule became what it is today. But anyway, WCW had to retaliate so they came up with what was called the Clash of the Champions.

What this was more or less was a PPV on free television. Beginning at the same time as WM 4 but ending almost two hours earlier, COTC clearly pulled away a lot of viewers. It was headlined by Sting vs. Ric Flair for the World Title in what just about everyone agrees was the night Sting established himself as a legitimate superstar. The war was on and it would heat up soon but we’ll get to that later. Let’s get to it.

20 Man Battle Royal

Boris Zhukov, Brian Blair, Danny Davis, George Steele, Harley Race, Hillbilly Jim, Jacques Rougeau, Jim Brunzell, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Junkyard Dog, Ken Patera, Nikolai Volkoff, Paul Roma, Bad News Brown, Raymond Rougeau, Ron Bass, Sam Houston, and Sika.

After that long winded explanation, the show is underway in a completely unrelated 20 man battle royal. There’s a huge trophy for the winner which just looks out of place in a wrestling match. Before the match Bob Uecker joins up with Gorilla and Jesse for the first match. Also on the show is Vanna White but she won’t be seen until later. Anyway back to the match.

Big names in this include Bret Hart, Bad News Brown who I always was a mark for, JYD and Harley Race. It’s really a who’s who of the midcard and not much more. This is the first of 16 matches on the card so this is going to be a LONG night. A subplot in this match is George Steel who is in the match but never actually gets in the ring. Pretty standard battle royal with various people punching and kicking each other as people are randomly eliminated.

The final three are the JYD, Bad News Brown and Bret Hart. The heels team up on JYD and eventually eliminate him. The pair agree to split the winnings but Bad News hits an enziguri on Bret and throws him out. Post match, Bret comes in and beats up Brown before destroying the trophy.

Rating: C. It’s hard to rate battle royals as it’s really just waiting until the end. Not much here but the post match stuff is fun to see. It’s time for the first match of the tournament which has time limits of 15 minutes. Robin Leech reads a proclamation that no one cares about to kick us off.

First Round Match: Jim Duggan vs. Ted DiBiase

Before the match, Jesse explains that only winners advance and that in the case of a draw both are eliminated. First round matches have 15 minute time limits, second are 20 minutes, third are 30 minutes, and the final has no limit.

DiBiase has Andre and Virgil with him for this match. Pretty simple match as we have a power brawler against a technician. Pretty back and forth which is fun but you knew the way this was ending before it starts. Duggan goes for his finisher and Andre grabs his foot and punches him as DiBiase hits him with a knee and pins him to advance.

Rating: C-. Fine for what it was, but predictable. Duggan was more or less a walking definition of cannon fodder here as DiBiase was destined to go on to the finals here and continue to be the top heel in the company. This was a decent enough match but it really wasn’t anything special at all.

Beefcake talks about winning the IC title tonight.

First Round Match: Don Muraco vs. Dino Bravo

Bravo has Frenchy Martin with him who was a pointless manager that was around for a year or two. Muraco has Billy Graham who has him wearing tye dye. This leads to Jesse continuing one of his running jokes that Graham stole the idea from him. Gorilla counters with “Graham was world champion once too.”

Jesse says that he never went for it that hard and Graham beat a weak champion. Funny antics always. Anyway, this is power vs. power here and not incredibly great. They trade power moves and holds for awhile until Muraco starts to get the advantage. End comes when Muraco hits the ropes and Bravo pulls the referee in leading to the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing of note here in a rather boring match. Muraco was again just filling in space and not really worth much. Bravo was floundering around for the vast majority of his WWF career and this was certainly no exception. Pretty boring match and it never went anywhere at all.

Bob Uecker is with the Honky Tonk Man who says Brutus isn’t going to cut any hair tonight.

First Round Match: Ricky Steamboat vs. Greg Valentine

Now this match is a match that changed Steamboat’s career. Allegedly he asked for some time off to be with his newborn son and Vince said no way. Dragon was gone a few months later and was in the NWA again, although he would up as a world champion there, so take it however you want it.

What are you expecting here? Of course the match is solid. It’s back and forth all match with Dragon chopping the tar out of Valentine and then bumping like a madman. We see a shot of Donald Trump at ringside. Dragon and Valentine go back and forth and put on a solid match with Dragon pulling away at the end. He goes up for a high cross body but Valentine rolls through it and uses the tights for a pin.

Rating:C. Not bad but not great, could have been very good with another 7-8 minutes. These two are the epitome of old school and the match more or less was as well. Valentine could have been something very special if not for Hogan coming in and changing wrestling for all time. Steamboat was gone very soon after this.

Bulldogs and Koko have trained Matilda to be a weasel dog. Heenan’s nickname was Weasel in case that made no sense at all.

First Round Match: Randy Savage vs. Butch Reed

Reed has a great chance for the upset here don’t you think?

*steps on all the crickets*

Reed was supposed to be a big deal but that never came to pass. He was even scheduled to be a Horseman but again it didn’t happen. I never got the appeal of him but that’s just me. Liz looks GREAT in blue. Reed struts to start and Savage can’t get anything going for the most part. Again I ask those that say Savage was a power guy: when was this ever the case? I’ve never seen it.

Jesse and Gorilla agree that Steamboat losing to Valentine is an upset. That’s rather odd indeed. This is rather boring to put it mildly. Reed hits a fist drop off the middle rope for no cover as it’s all Reed here. Savage gets some punches in but gets his head taken off with a clothesline. Reed goes up to the top like an idiot and talks FOREVER before getting slammed off. Elbow sends Savage to the semis.

Rating: D. Too short to get anything going but the elbow is always sweet. Reed’s jawing was just kind of stupid and I don’t get the point in having him dominate the vast majority of this one only to have a pair of moves end this. It wasn’t horrible but it needed more going on than what it had if that makes sense.

Heenan and the Islanders say that they’re not worried about Matilda or the Bulldogs.

First Round Match: One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

I can feel Irish’s jaw hitting the floor from here. Bigelow has Oliver Humperdink with him while Gang has Slick. Those might be the best manager names ever. Gang continues to be one of the worst big men of all time. Bammer is impressing me here, even throwing up a cross body block. For a guy weighing 393, that’s very impressive. Bam Bam dominates and is going for something but Slick pulls the rope down sending him to the floor for a count out in a cheap finish.

Rating: N/A. Decent clash of titans but the ending was just awful. Bigelow was supposed to get a huge push soon after this and it just never came, which I believe was due to a knee injury. Again though with less than three minutes, how into it can I get when almost a minute of that is brawling on the floor?

Hulk Hogan then says that he’s going to slam Andre in one of the most insane promos I’ve ever seen. He talks about the fault line breaking off and everyone falling into the ocean and how Donald Trump would be smart enough to let go of his materialistic possessions and dog paddle with his wife and kids to safety.

Then Hogan talks about taking all of the Hulkamaniacs on the largest back in the world and dog paddling and backstroking all the way to safety. If they’re on his back and he backstrokes, wouldn’t they kind of drown? God bless cocaine.

First Round Match: Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts

Rude is about as perfectly evil as you can be and he plays it beautifully. Jake’s music was just awesome always. This match is solid but a tad boring. One of the great things about it though was you had no idea at all who was going to win it which to me is what makes a match better. What’s the point in watching a predictable match barring being a diehard fan of either person in it?

There was a red hot feud between these two a few months before this and it didn’t ever get the proper blowoff that it should. This match is about fifteen minutes long and maybe 5 minutes or more is chinlock. Jake escapes and goes for the DDT but can’t get it and then back to the chinlock. The draw is clearer than any draw should possibly be. They might as well just have a big sign advertising it.

These two go back and forth but the pace is just too slow. Crowd breaks out a boring chant more than once. Jake keeps wanting the DDT the whole match and Rude keeps trying to get out of it. Finally we get down late in the match and the draw looms over us. After a much better ending, we get to that point and the One Man Gang is in the semifinals.

Rating: D. Solid ending but getting there was a bit painful. I think this match is 40% chinlock. Don’t like the draw either. There were stretches of probably five minutes where I had ZERO to talk about due to it being nothing but bare basics and chinlocks. The crowd is officially dead now so hopefully we get something to perk them up again.

We go to a big bracket to see Vanna White give her limited thought on the tournament. Nothing special here. Vanna looks better with straight hair.

In case you got lost, here’s the updated brackets

Hogan vs. Andre

Dibiase vs. Murago

Savage vs. Valentine

Gang gets a bye and is into the third round already

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hercules

Nothing special to this feud at all as they’re simply fighting over who is stronger than who. Nothing more to it than that. No entrance for Herc here. Warrior is nothing special at all here and is just a guy that destroys jobbers and runs to the ring. They ram into each other which gets them nowhere and then lock up.

Three clotheslines from Hercules take down Warrior which stuns Jesse. This is a lot of striking and the occasional power move. In short, it’s very boring indeed. They fight on the floor and tease a countout but get back in in time.

Warrior gets the punches in the corner but Herc gets an atomic drop out of the corner. Full nelson goes on mostly but Hercules can’t get the fingers locked so Warrior can walk up the turnbuckle and drop backwards before shooting a shoulder up for the pin. Warrior clears the ring with the chain post match.

Rating: D. Oh man this was bad. Neither guy was worth anything but at least it was short. This was a rather boring match and somehow Warrior would be in the big undercard match the following year and the main event the year after that. This was pretty bad though but like I said it was only about five minutes long.

REALLY long recap of the Hogan Andre feud.

Second Round Match: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Andre has DiBiase and Virgil with him for this. Much faster pace than last year’s match which to me is an improvement. Andre just goes off to start this match. Hogan breaks it up with some running punches/forearms but DiBiase gets on the apron. Hogan rams them together with the all time best name move: the Double Noggin Knocker. Andre’s offense here is just so simple that it’s great.

This is one of those matches where you can tell Andre just has nothing left so they’re going with REALLY basic stuff to make it look like he’s still awesome when he can barely move. It says a lot that he wrestled at two more Manias and appeared at #7.

Hogan gets in control, Andre chokes him. Hogan gets knocked down, Andre sits on him. Hogan starts running, Andre turns his back to him and Hogan falls down. It’s so simple yet so effective. Hogan comes back and signals for a slam but DiBiase cracks him with a chair as the ref is distracted. Hogan nails Andre with the chair, Andre hits Hogan with it in one of the worst chair shots I’ve ever seen. Not because of how Andre swung but Hogan just looks awful taking it.

Someone with Hogan swinging first it’s a double DQ and both men are eliminated, meaning the winner of DiBiase and Muraco is in the finals. Hogan hits a running chair shot to knock Andre down then chases off Virgil and DiBiase before going back to slam Andre and pose.

Rating: C. These two getting together is always awesome and the faster pace made it a lot better this time. That being said, the match wasn’t much at all. Andre was DONE at this point and everyone knew it. He was trying though so I’ll give him a ton of credit for that. The ending was the only real way to get rid of both of them to set up a new champion so that’s fine too. Just not long enough to be a great match though.

Randy Savage says good things about Hogan but says one of the Mega Powers will win the title.

Second Round Match: Ted DiBiase vs. Don Muraco

Winner goes to the finals. Muraco tries hard here but absolutely no one thinks he has a chance in this match. This is one of those matches that you could easily have cut out and no one would have really cared at all. It’s ok and Muraco used to be awesome. The problem is that now he’s nothing special at all and everyone knows it.

DiBiase gets dominated early on but catches Muraco in the corner with a slingshot kind of move to break the momentum. Matches like this show me just how good DiBiase is in the ring. He’s simply a master out there. His bumping is just amazing. I wish he would have gotten a run with the title around this time as he certainly was at the top of his game as a heel.

I’m still trying to figure out why this match is getting PPV time. Do we need five minutes for this match? It’s Don Muraco for crying out loud. Muraco charges at him but is picked up and lands a great stun gun to get the three count. Good finish.

Rating: C+. As short as it was I liked this match. It showed what DiBiase could do when he was on his own and that he really was indeed a solid wrestler. Muraco is a great foil for him as he’s trying hard but is just outmatched. Fun little match all around and very few if any mistakes in it. Really liked it.

Mr. Fuji and Demolition don’t like Uecker or Strike Force. Demolition was just awesome in all regards. Their promos were no exceptions at all.

The Fink reminds us that because Snake and Rude went to a draw that the Gang is in the semifinals already.

Second Round Match: Greg Valentine vs. Randy Savage

Same idea here as in Steamboat and Valentine. Do you really expect a bad match from these two? The battle of the elbows begins and it’s pretty solid the whole way though. There’s almost no wasted movement in this match which is just awesome. As expected, it’s all Valentine to start.

Hammer was a guy that could have been a lot better and something really special if not for the whole Hogan changes wrestling forever deal. He was that good back in the day and a world title contender. Time passed him by though and it showed badly.

He works over all of Savage without much of an emphasis on the knee. Valentine was the resident Figure Four dude at this time so it would make sense for him to go after. I guess that’s why he’s going to lose here.

Savage just starts going off on him from out of nowhere which is just kind of cool for some reason. It’s finally broken up when Savage goes for an axe handle from the top and gets punched in the stomach. Savage reverses the figure four into a small package even with Valentine’s should clearly up.

Rating: C+. Seriously, what did you expect here? Of course it’s a solid match. Fast paced with a good ending means a good grade. It was a bit too short to get anything going but they tried at least. Savage would obviously go onto bigger things but Valentine’s career had pretty much peaked by this point.

Vanna White is back again. She’s still annoying.

Intercontinental Title: Brutus Beefcake vs. Honky Tonk Man

Standard Honky Tonk match with him just getting beaten to death as the face looks like there’s no way he can lose. Here’s a few reasons why Honky is miles ahead of Santino. The commentators talk about how he’s the luckiest wrestler alive. He also gets some offense in. A big reason is because Santino tries to be funny. Honky tries to be serious and comes off as funny. Subtle, yet a key difference that made Honky better.

Finally, Honky had a signature move that won him matches. Honky was just much more believable as IC champion and this is a prime example of it. Brutus runs Honky around to start and nothing comes out of it. Jimmy gets involved and Honky takes over. His offense was shall we say limited? This goes on for far longer than it’s possible to stay interested for. Gorilla and Jesse crack jokes to fight the boredom.

Brutus puts on the sleeper but Hart hits the ref with the megaphone. Peggy Sue, Honky’s girlfriend (played amazingly by Sherri Martel) pours water on Honky to wake him up after Brutus chases Jimmy Hart under the ring and is seriously looks as if he’s trying to rape Hart. Just a bad image. He pins him down to the stairs and cuts his hair. Honky wakes up and runs with Hart.

Rating: D+. Decent match, but standard for Honky. He never really got away from that one formula of his which is kind of good actually. It worked, so why change it? When you blow the roof off the Garden like they did when he finally lost the title you must be doing something right. Match was nothing you wouldn’t expect from a Honky IC Title defense.

In for some reason one of the most famous promos of all time, Andre runs into Bob Uecker and reveals that DiBiase’s master plan centered around Andre eliminating Hogan. Uecker tries to mention something and Andre chokes him in what I believe was an unplanned spot.

Islanders and Heenan against Koko B. Ware and the British Bulldogs

Backstory-the Islanders had dog napped Matilda a few weeks ago for no good reason. This is the Bulldogs’ chance to get revenge. Koko is there because they needed a third face that could fill up a spot. Heenan comes out in an attack dog handler’s outfit which looks like an untied straight jacket. Cool idea actually.

This is more or less seven and a half minutes of this: the heels beat down a face, Heenan gets in like two kicks, the face gets up because Heenan only got in like two kicks, Heenan runs and tags out, we repeat that.

Pretty bland match here that is a filler. Heenan does a little but nothing of significance. Islanders launch Heenan into the air to slam him down onto Koko for the pin. Exact same thing they did last year with the Bulldogs.

Rating: D+. Filler that was the same match that happened in the previous year’s six man. Did they really think that little of the Bulldogs? Can you tell I’m getting bored with this show? This is another great example of a match that had no business being on this show. It wasn’t any good anyway and the dog did nothing between the beginning and ending.

Jesse Ventura poses for the crowd. DiBiase is announced as having a bye into the finals.

Semi-Final Match: Randy Savage vs. One Man Gang

You know the drill by now. Savage gets beaten up, comes back, gets beaten up a little more, Slick throws in the cane, ref sees it, DQ.

Rating: D. This match was more or less nothing. We knew almost as soon as Hogan and Andre got eliminated what the finals would be. Why should I care about this match when there’s not even an elbow?

For some reason we see Vanna White talking about the tournament AGAIN and still no one cares.

Tag Titles: Strike Force vs. Demolition

Strike Force had been champions for six months at this point but are somehow still considered transitional champions. Demolition had been around a little over a year at this point but were just now the dominant force that they became famous for being. Martel and Smash start us off. Jesse thinks that the Boston Crab, the move that won the titles for Strike Force, won’t work on Demolition because they’re too big. The hold beat Jim Neidhart though. That’s kind of an odd statement to make Mr. Governor.

Jesse can’t tell Demolition apart. We get a big brawl seconds in and finally get back to the starters. Does that make Tito the first guy off the bench? Strike Force hits double teaming to start which causes Jesse and Gorilla to fight a bit. Tito plays Ricky Morton for a bit as the big guys pound on him.

Tito gets the forearm out of nowhere to put Axe down. Jesse says he learned that in the MFL: the Mexican Football League. I give up. Off to Martel who cleans house. He manages to get the Boston Crab on Smash who is screaming. Fuji gets up to distract the referee and drops the cane, which promptly is wrapped around Martel’s cranium. Smash crawls on top to win the titles.

Rating: C-. This was about as formula based as you could get but the pop at the end sends it over the peak a bit. Demolition looked awesome here and would go on to hold the titles for a mind blowing year and a half which is never going to be touched. Strike Force was more or less done here as they lost the rematch and Martel was out for about 8 months and he turned heel in his first match back with Santana. Nothing great here, but certainly historic.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ted DiBiase

This was a very interesting match at the time because no one knew who was going to win it. That to me will always make a match better. From what I’ve heard the original plan was to have Hogan get to the finals with DiBiase and lose thanks to Andre, eventually getting the title back at Summerslam while Savage would win the IC title from Honky either here or at Summerslam. However, Honky refused to do it and they made this the plan. I like the first one better I think.

Anyway, Andre and DiBiase are here against Savage and Liz. Andre keeps cheating so Savage whispers to Liz and everyone knows what’s coming as for about two minutes no one is watching the ring. This is about as simple of an explanation as you could ask for regarding the problems that would plague Savage’s reign.

What possible reason do we need Hogan out there for? Rather than having him out there and taking part of the spotlight, why not have Savage make the Superman comeback and get the title on a rollup when Andre can’t make the save? Instead we have Hogan coming out there, making himself the focus or at least half of it. This right away makes Savage look like a weak champion because Hogan made the save and Savage would have lost without him.

This is the kind of stuff that Savage would be paranoid about and have big delusions over over time. They’re proven right as Hogan comes through the curtain to even the odds. Savage looks dead in the ring which is what he’s supposed to do. The fans are all looking at him now because he’s the new thing they see out there. Anyway, DiBiase mostly destroys Savage with nothing too special as Savage is just dead.

Great false finish as Savage goes for the elbow and the place goes nuts but he misses it. Million Dollar Dream and Savage tries to get to the ropes but Andre pulls it back. Ref warns him and Hogan comes in and nails DiBiase with a chair leading to the elbow and a new champion! Post match sees something very interesting as Hogan, Savage and Liz celebrate. For those that can read lips, you can see Savage say to Hogan, “Please let me have my moment.” Hogan doesn’t leave, and that my friends, started the real life feud between these two.

Rating: B. We had seen these guys WAY too much tonight which is the problem with tournaments. We just get sick of these guys. Savage had 4 matches at this show. He’s one of the best ever but four times in a show is just too much.

Overall Rating: D+. The big problem is how predictable it is once Andre and Hogan are gone. After that you knew it would be Savage or DiBiase. Overall, this Mania is just too long. Ringing in at about 4 hours, there just isn’t enough here to warrant such a time. Savage winning was indeed mind blowing at the time and this show sets up a year’s worth of feuds including the first ever Summerslam where Hogan and Savage faced DiBiase and Andre.

The main issue here is that there were sixteen matches on this. Think about that for a minute. SIXTEEN MATCHES. That’s the vast problem here. Did we really need to see guys like Muraco and Bravo in the tournament? Or did we need to have the six man? This show really could have used 30-60 minutes cut out of it and then it would have been far more watchable.

The other thing this leads to is Hogan and Savage trying to share the spotlight as the Mega Powers which ultimately leads to their split and the main event of next year’s Wrestlemania. Other than that, not a lot really comes out of this show. It’s a decent PPV if you want to see just about every 80s wrestler alive perform but if you’re looking for solid matches, just watch a handful of them or you’ll be asleep by the middle of the show.

 

 

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Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

I’m not sure what else there is to say here. Wrestlemania III is one of those shows that you have probably seen before and if you haven’t then you probably know about it. Aside from the Hogan vs. Andre showdown, there’s the legendary and influential Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat match for the Intercontinental Title. Let’s get to it.

The wide shot of the stadium to open the show is still one of the best visuals in wrestling. This is what Wrestlemania is supposed to look like and it feels like one of the biggest events the company or industry has ever had.

Vince introduces Aretha Franklin for America the Beautiful.

The announcers, including celebrities Bob Uecker (baseball announcer) and Mary Hart (Entertainment Tonight anchor), talk for a bit. Uecker and Hart will only be around for a match here and there.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

The Connection is the latest pretty boy tag team comprised of Tom Zenk and Rick Martel. Rick shoulders Muraco down to start and monkey flips him for two. You can definitely see a different style in this stadium setting as opposed to an arena. Everything breaks down to start and the villains are quickly dispatched to the floor for a meeting with manager Mr. Fuji.

Back in and Zenk armdrags Orton down as the fans are way into this. You can hear the roars on just basic moves and there’s really nothing like it. Muraco hits Orton by mistake and Zenk gets two. It’s off to Muraco and Orton gets in a knee to Zenk’s back from the apron to FINALLY give the bad guys an opening. That’s about it for their control though as Zenk sneaks over for the tag to Martel as everything breaks down again. A dropkick puts Orton on the floor and Zenk trips Muraco up as Martel cross bodies him for the pin at 5:37.

Rating: C+. I’ve always really liked this match because it was a perfect choice for an opener. It’s a fast paced little tag match that doesn’t mean anything in the long run but gave the fans something fun to watch to get them warmed up. Today this would be a dark match or on the preshow but here it’s the perfect choice for the opener.

We recap Billy Jack Haynes (he’s strong and from Oregon, end of his character.) vs. Hercules, which is about who is better with the full nelson. There’s nothing more to it than that and it’s not the hottest feud in the world.

Hercules says we’ll find out who the real master of the hold is. Heenan corrects Okerlund and says it’s Billy Jerk Haynes.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Since the entrances weren’t shown in the first match, we get to see the motorized ring carts to help cut down some of the time spent walking down the huge aisle. Those are always really cool but they only appeared twice. They shove each other around to start until Hercules gets a knee in to the ribs, only to miss a charge. Again, every move is done so that fans far away can easily tell what’s going on. Everything involves big motion and simple moves but it works really well for what they’re going for.

Hercules nails a big clothesline and whips Haynes hard across the ring. He’s starting to work on the neck and back for the really basic (not a bad thing) psychology of the match. A suplex gets two for Hercules as he pulls Hayes up instead of trying for the pin. There’s a gorilla press to set up the full nelson but Hercules doesn’t have the hands locked.

It still has Haynes in trouble but he powers up after two arm drops. A double clothesline puts both of them down and it’s Hayes up first with even more clotheslines. I know they’re repetitive but at least it makes sense for setting up the full nelson. Haynes gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls the ropes to send them both outside. Billy gets it again but it’s a double countout at 7:52.

Rating: C. You can tell the card has been put together with a lot of care. The show started with a fast paced match and then they have a power match. It keeps the fans from getting bored with the same kind of match and this worked really well. This is another fun match that doesn’t mean much but is entertaining enough. We’re not even half an hour into the show so they have plenty of time to get to the big stuff and this was a nice addition to the card.

Hercules uses his chain to bust Haynes open and then slaps on the full nelson.

King Kong Bundy wants to get his hands on Hillbilly Jim and doesn’t care if he has to run over all four of the midgets to get there. Yes, this is Bundy’s followup to main eventing last year.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

Most of the midgets are in their 40s or 50s with Little Beaver pushing 60. Jim is a country boy from Kentucky for another very simple character. Uecker is on commentary here for his comedy stylings. All four little guys come in with the good ones taking over with a row boat (all four are on the mat with the good guys pulling on the others’ legs) for the “funny” segment. Beaver sneaks over and punches Bundy in the stomach so here’s King Kong in off the tag.

It’s quickly off to Jim, much to Jesse’s dismay. Jim scores with a clothesline and a big elbow but Bundy kicks out, even with Jim’s partners piling on the cover. The Avalanche splash in the corner crushes Jim as Uecker uses the dirtiest puns he can. Bundy throws Beaver around and drops a big elbow on him for the DQ at 4:00. That would be the end of Beaver’s career, though again he was almost sixty years old at this point.

Rating: D. Yeah I’m not sure what else you can say here. This was the comedy match of the night and to be fair they kept it really short (pun not intended but I’ll take it). I’ve never gotten the appeal of these things and they’re still not very funny but maybe the kids in the audience found it funny. Jim was definitely a kid friendly character so in theory that’s what they were going for here.

Randy Savage interrupts an interview with Elizabeth because he thinks it should be about him. He’s not really mean here as much as totally self absorbed.

Recap of Junkyard Dog vs. King Harley Race. It’s another simple idea: Race wants Dog to bow to him but Dog says he bows to no man and thinks maybe he should be King instead. This was when the King of the Ring was a title that could be won, though it was rarely defended.

Heenan gives the crown jewels to Fabulous Moolah (the Queen) to present to Race after the match.

The Dog says he’ll be sitting on the throne with the crown upon his head.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser must bow. I don’t think you need an explanation on Harley Race. Dog gets a huge ovation here and seems totally in his element in a huge stadium like this. Uecker freaks out that Moolah is here and goes down to find her. Heenan offers a quick distraction but Dog easily wins a slugout with Race.

The King sends him outside but misses a falling headbutt from the apron. Back in and Dog knocks Race right back over the top with the King’s face slamming into the apron. Race’s head trauma continues as he hurts himself on a falling headbutt, followed by Dog’s all fours headbutts. Heenan jumps on the apron for a distraction though, allowing Race to grab a belly to belly for the pin at 3:23. King barely had any offense in the whole match.

Rating: D. That was a really quick ending after Dog was squashing Race for the most part. It made Race’s finisher look great but it was a weird way to get to the ending. To be fair though, Race was just in the WWF for a check at this point so it’s not like losing most of the match was going to do him any harm.

Post match Race sits in his chair and Dog bows, only to beat Race up with the chair in a move that draws cheers.

Hogan says he rode here on his motorcycle and people were telling him it was his last ride. One day everyone has to face the truth and that’s what he does today. All he has to do today is beat a 7’4, 550lb giant. That’s the easy part though because Andre has to face the truth and beat every single Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is the purest form of the truth there is and the 24 inch pythons will be running wild on Andre. This was a heck of a speech and Hogan sold the heck out of the match while looking like the warrior he was supposed to be.

The Dream Team is ready for the Rougeau Brothers. Manager Luscious Johnny V: “Parlez-vous scrambled eggs?”

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team has been having some issues lately and now has Dino Bravo as a third man/enforcer. The Rougeaus (Jacques and Raymond) are high fliers from Montreal. Raymond flips around Beefcake to start so it’s quickly off to Valentine vs. Jacques. Valentine sends him into the corner and avoids a middle rope cross body before it’s back to Beefcake for some stomping. A nice backbreaker gets two on Jacques as Heenan jumps in on commentary.

Valentine’s Figure Four has Jacques in trouble until a rope is grabbed. Raymond comes in to clean house but the announcers ignore the match to talk about how Heenan’s men have done today. Beefcake hits Valentine by mistake (that’s been happening a lot lately) and Le Bombe de Rougeau (Raymond holds Valentine up so Jacques can come off the top with a seated senton) has the pin, only to have Bravo jump on Raymond and turn it over to give Greg the pin at 4:03.

Rating: D+. This was much more about storytelling than the match itself which is fine. Beefcake was about to be turned huge and become a bigger star than the rest of the team so why not do it like this? The Rougeaus were a good, entertaining team and that’s all they needed to be here.

Beefcake gets left behind as Johnny, Bravo and Valentine leave in the cart.

We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had returned from a hiatus and become one of the biggest stars in the company. As he returned he was attacked by Adonis, who hurt his knee and took over the Pit, turning it into the Flower Shop. The last thing you want to do is tick off Roddy Piper though and the war was on. This is Roddy’s retirement match as he’s off to Hollywood full time but there’s always one last hurrah.

Piper says no retreat and no surrender.

Adonis promises to give Piper a haircut with some hedge clippers.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair and Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Adonis is a lot more serious and less effeminate than he was last year. Piper walks down the aisle with the biggest smile on his face. His hair is a bit longer as well to give him his better known look. They slug it out to start but Piper pulls out a belt to whip Adrian.

Adonis takes it away and whips Piper as Monsoon suddenly thinks this is unfair. Piper drags Jimmy in and whips the two of them together for a big crash. The crowd is losing it for this stuff as Piper is just crazy over. Hart trips Piper to take over though and Adonis knocks Piper to the floor. Back in and Piper says bring it on until Hart sprays cologne in his eyes.

Adonis hooks his sleeper (Goodnight Irene) and Piper goes out but Adrian lets go at two arm drops meaning the match isn’t over. Cue Brutus Beefcake (who accidentally had his hair cut by Adonis recently) to wake Piper up as Adonis and Hart celebrate. Adonis swings the clippers at Piper but hits the ropes by mistake, sending them back into his own face. Piper slaps on a sleeper and Adonis is out at 6:13.

Rating: C+. The match wasn’t anything to see and Piper would have far better matches, but this was one heck of an entertaining story, complete with Beefcake coming in to get his revenge on Adonis. This worked very well and was the perfect blowoff to a well done story from the last few weeks.

Beefcake shaves Adonis’ hair. Adrian wakes up and punches the mirror Piper holds up before bailing with Hart. Piper gets the big hero sendoff, complete with a fan trying to run in but being quickly dispatched by security.

Jesse Ventura is presented to the crowd, much to Gorilla’s annoyance. The lighting is starting to change as the sun is going down.

Jimmy Hart says the Bulldogs and Tito Santana can have the war they want.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

This is another one with a long history. Davis is a former referee who went evil and cost the Bulldogs lost their Tag Team Titles to the Harts and Santana the Intercontinental Title to Savage (over a year ago) and tonight it’s about revenge. The Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda chases Jimmy around the ring to start. Mary Hart and Uecker are on commentary and Uecker is smart enough to ask Gorilla to recap the story in case the fans aren’t familiar with it. That’s something most commentators today couldn’t figure out and Bob does it on his first night.

Jesse takes Matilda to the back and Bret crawls over to Neidhart to get away from Smith. A double headbutt puts Neidhart down and a backdrop makes it even worse. Neidhart opts to just punch Smith in the face, only to have Bret miss a middle rope elbow. Dynamite takes over again as this has been one sided so far. Neidhart breaks up a pin attempt and the Harts finally take over as Uecker tries to figure out why Jimmy Hart is all over the show.

Dynamite gets beaten down by all three villains, including Davis getting in a few shots. Mary Hart: “Isn’t it time for him to get out of there? What does he have to do to get out?” A splash hits Dynamite’s knees though and the hot tag brings in Santana to clean house. The flying forearm drops Davis but Tito would rather punch him in the face than cover.

It’s back to Davey for a hard clothesline (Mary: “A clothesline? Is that what that was?”) and a tombstone. The delayed vertical suplex (a Davey trademark) sets up the running powerslam but Neidhart saves the cover on Danny’s dead body. Everything breaks down and Jimmy sends in the megaphone to knock Dynamite silly for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t getting into this one, outstanding beating of Davis aside. The ending hurts it too as Davis just pops up after taking all that big offense and knocks Dynamite out for the pin. It wasn’t bad or anything but I could have gone for Davis taking a loss here. This really should have been the Harts defending against the Bulldogs again but at least we got a great beating.

During the replays, Uecker says that the turning point was after the tombstone when Davey didn’t go for the cover. Again: most modern announcers don’t have this level of basic insight.

Heenan, now in a white and gold tuxedo, says that Andre is winning the title and there’s nothing Hogan can do about it.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Power vs. speed here and Butch has Slick in his corner. Koko speeds things up to start and dropkicks Reed to the floor but Butch forearms him in the back to take over. Rights and lefts stagger Butch but he rolls through a cross body and pulls the tights to pin Koko at 3:38.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but this is just a way to give the fans a breather before we get to the big stuff. Reed had a lot of potential with a great look and a bunch of power but he would spin his wheels for about another year before heading to the NWA in 1989 where he was half of an awesome power team called Doom. This was Koko’s bread and butter: wrestle fast, get in some good shots, then lose.

Reed and Slick beat on Koko until Tito runs in and beats Slick up. Tito rips off Slick’s “expensive” suit for fun.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. Savage damaged Steamboat’s throat by crushing it against the barricade. Eventually Steamboat came back and swore vengeance, setting up this match. It’s a simple story but the look on Steamboat’s face when he looked at Savage sold the whole thing.

Savage says the Dragon (Steamboat) can’t stop history.

Steamboat says they have reached their moment and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. Ricky has George Steele in his corner as a friend and a continuation of Steele’s feud with Savage.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Savage is defending and gets a big face pop as he’s earned the fans’ respect. Steamboat throws the champ down to start and Savage bails to the floor to keep Elizabeth away from Steele. Back in and Steamboat grabs some very deep armdrags and chokes Savage out to the floor again. Savage gets in a few shots to take over and the fans chant for Steamboat. The chants work as Steamboat starts working on the arm, only to be sent over the turnbuckle and out to the floor.

Ever the violent one, Savage elbows the damaged throat before dropping a knee to the chest for two. Some chops to the head get Steamboat out of trouble and Savage gets tied in the ropes. Things start getting fast as they run the ropes but Savage takes him down with a knee to the back. Savage makes the eternal mistake of trying to send Steamboat over the top and the Dragon skins the cat. Who came up with that term? It sounds horrible and really has nothing to do with pulling yourself back into a ring.

Savage is right back on top of Steamboat and knocks him over the top, followed by a whip into the crowd. There’s a top rope ax handle to the back of Steamboat’s head but Jesse wants him to crush the throat again. Instead Jesse has to settle for another ax handle and a guillotine over the top rope. A gutwrench suplex gets two for the champ but Savage clotheslines him out to the floor.

Back in and Steamboat DIVES off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head for two as Savage’s foot was on the ropes. We hit a pinfall reversal sequence with Dragon getting several near falls. Jesse calls this one of the best matches he’s ever seen. Savage reverses on O’Connor roll into one of his own but even a handful of tights can’t pin Steamboat.

Another pull of the tights sends Steamboat shoulder first into the post and the referee gets bumped. That’s not something you often saw back in the day so this is a big deal. Savage gets the big elbow but there’s no one to count. Instead Savage gets the bell but Steele shoves him off the top and “head first onto the bell.” More like next to the bell but it sounds good. Back up and Savage tries a slam but Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:35.

Rating: A+. This match is legendary for a lot of reasons, including Savage and Steamboat practicing the match at Savage’s home (at Savage’s insistence) so they knew it step by step, which has caused Steamboat to not be incredibly fond of it. That being said, it still holds up perfectly with both guys looking amazing through. This was a cruiserweight style match on a heavyweight level years before that style was popular. The crowd bought every bit of it and that sequence in the middle where they sped up can hang with any exchange you’ll ever see.

Steamboat and Steele leave with the title, followed by Savage who is nearly in tears. The visual of people riding the carts up the long aisle is very effective.

Jake Roberts, now fully face and incredibly popular (possibly due to an amazing mustache, says that Honky Tonk Man (a wrestling Elvis impersonator) didn’t give him his best shot in the Snake Pit (Jake’s interview show) with a guitar because Jake is still walking. Rock legend Alice Cooper will be here to keep an eye on Jimmy Hart.

Honky Tonk Man promises to win and then sing. He promises that for years but almost never delivered on it.

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Roberts starts fast and rips the white and gold (popular colors tonight) Elvis suit off. Honky Tonk tries to run as Gorilla and Jesse preview Alice Cooper vs. Jimmy Hart. Back in and Jake keeps punching away before the short clothesline looks to set up the DDT. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor. Thank goodness he changed the oil in his hair today or he might not have been able to escape. Roberts is sent into the post to give Honky Tonk control and a middle rope fist (ala Cousin Jerry) keeps Jake in trouble.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker. A great name for a lame move.) is countered with a backdrop. Roberts grabs an atomic drop out of the corner but unfortunately we don’t get Honky Tonk’s hilarious selling. Some right hands look to set up the DDT but Jimmy offers a distraction, allowing Honky Tonk to grab a rollup and the top rope for the pin at 7:04.

Rating: C-. It’s a rare sight to see so many midcard heels winning matches but they’re keeping things moving well enough that it doesn’t have a big impact. Honky Tonk was on the rise so the win is a good thing for him but Jake is the kind of guy who can take a loss and then bounce right back with a single promo and DDT. Something else of note here is Alice Cooper, who was a quick celebrity cameo who fit perfectly, didn’t take away from anything else, and had some fun out there. Why is that so complicated to pull off today?

Post match Honky Tonk runs but Jimmy isn’t so lucky. Jake holds him in the corner while Alice throws Damien the snake on him.

Gene Okerlund announces the all time attendance record of 93,173. I know there’s a bunch of controversy about whether they had that many people there, but here’s the thing: WWE says it at 93,173 and that’s the official record. Other than that, it really doesn’t make any difference either way because WWE is going to claim whatever they want and that’s all that matters.

Killer Bees vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Volkoff/Sheik are now managed by Slick, who is still in the torn suit. The Bees (Jim Brunzell/B. Brian Blair) are another fast paced team who had a long running feud with the Hart Foundation. Volkoff starts singing the Russian anthem but the recently debuted Jim Duggan runs down with his 2×4 to break it up. Duggan is a huge American patriot who isn’t going to stand for this Communist nonsense in his country. He’s even going to stick around ringside just in case.

It’s a big brawl to start with the foreigners being whipped into each other, only to do-see-do out of trouble…and straight into some right hands. Everything settles down with the Sheik getting his arm cranked. Brunzell’s signature dropkick gets two but everything breaks down and Brunzell gets taken into the foreign corner.

An ax handle gets two for Sheik as the ring is filling up with trash. A gutwrench suplex is good for the same as Duggan is still patrolling ringside. Brunzell finally gets in a flying knee but a Volkoff distraction means the referee doesn’t see the tag. Nikolai puts Brunzell in the camel clutch but Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring for the DQ at 5:43.

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a countdown clock telling us how much more time they had to kill before Hogan vs. Andre. This was another watchable but unremarkable match in a series of them tonight. This was much more about Duggan than anything else, which is fine considering Duggan would wind up being a bigger name than anyone else in the match.

Andre says he’s ready. Heenan says Hogan better be ready.

We recap Andre vs. Hogan. They had been friends for years until the aforementioned trophy incident. Heenan has brainwashed Andre into believing he and Hogan were never friends as Hogan is scared of facing him. To be fair though, Hogan would have a long running history of his friends turning on him over the years so maybe Andre was on to something. I mean, after all those people having issues with Hogan over the years, maybe he’s just a jerk who can’t get along with anything.

Hogan hopes the world can handle the explosion coming in the main event.

The celebrity announcements are shorter this year with Uecker as ring announcer and Mary Hart as timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Hogan is defending of course. After reading off the tale of the tape, Jesse sums up everything in one statement: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” Hogan’s entrance is one of the most famous of all time as he walks down the aisle with Monsoon shouting that “The roof of the Silver Dome about to explode here!” I know I’ve been saying this multiple times for this show, but we get one of the most famous shots ever in wrestling as they stare each other down in the middle of the ring.

Hogan fires off three right hands and tries a slam in the first thirty seconds, only to fall backwards to give Andre a very close two. Heenan would later claim that he didn’t get the shoulder up in time and that the referee couldn’t see the kickout, eventually leading to a rematch. Andre starts in on the back and a heavy slam plants the champion. Hogan is shoved into the corner and Andre slams his hips into the ribs, followed by a big headbutt.

Some right hands have Andre stunned and you can see the sweat flying off his chest as Hogan chops away. Hogan rams him head first into the buckle over and over but charges into a boot to the face and Andre slaps on a bearhug. After a minute and a half in the hold, Hogan holds his arm up on the third drop and breaks it up with even more right hands (about 90% of his offense here). Andre is right back on offense though as he kicks Hogan to the floor, only to headbutt the post by mistake.

Ever the nice guy, Hogan tries a piledriver on exposed concrete. Again, maybe it’s Hogan’s fault that all of these broken friendships. Andre backdrops out of it and we head inside. Hogan ducks a second big boot and drops Andre with a running clothesline. The idea of Andre being knocked off his feet was unthinkable at the time and the fans are stunned. It’s Hulk Up time and Andre stands up, allowing Hogan to slam the giant and become immortal. You can see the fans rise to their feet in shock. The big leg is academic and Hogan retains at 12:07.

Rating: D+. This is always a tricky one. I don’t think it’s any secret to say the match wasn’t all that good. Andre was really slow and banged up but it was a standard formula that had worked for years for Hogan so it makes sense that they wouldn’t mess with it. However, this match has been called one of the worst of all time and that’s just not the case. It might not even be the worst match on this card.

This match was about the big fight feel and it delivered as well as it could have. I don’t think people came into this match expecting something like Savage vs. Steamboat, but for some reason people expected a ridiculously fast pace for a match between two guys destined to work a slow power style. The match isn’t great, but the moment is amazing.

Hogan poses as Heenan and Andre leave with Heenan’s head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Jesse and Gorilla recap the show to wrap it up and Aretha Franklin sings us out. You don’t often end a show to America the Beautiful but this wasn’t your run of the mill show.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s Wrestlemania III. This one of the few shows that almost every fan has seen or at least heard of and it’s very rare to hear anyone have a bad opinion of it. The show may not be the greatest of all time, but it’s certainly one that holds up over the years. It set the standard for what Wrestlemania could be with a story to almost every match on the card and one major match to draw in the fans. Even the worst matches aren’t bad and nothing overstays its welcome.

Hogan vs. Andre is still the biggest match of all time nearly thirty years later and I can’t imagine it ever being passed. Couple that with a masterpiece in Savage vs. Steamboat and it’s almost impossible to not consider this at least a watchable show. Nothing is bad, the crowd is white hot throughout and it’s definitely a historic show. What more can you ask for? Check this out if you somehow haven’t seen it before.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: C+

Ok so I might have been a little enthusiastic about this show back in the day.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-iii-the-biggest-match-ever-on-the-biggest-show-ever/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the biggest show in wrestling history with the biggest match in wrestling history as its main event. How’s that for a standard to live up to? In case you’re one of the six wrestling fans ever that hasn’t heard of this show, the main event is Hulk Hogan defending the WWF Title against Andre the Giant in a match four years in the making. In the undercard we have the greatest match of all time. This is the first show where they treated Wrestlemania as something huge and not just a big house show, making it the first “modern” Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The wide shot of the arena is still quite a sight. Oh and for once and for all: there were 93,000 people there. The argument about how it doesn’t hold that many doesn’t hold up as the total often listed is for football, which requires WAY more space than a wrestling show. It would be like covering half the field with more seats. On the other hand, let’s say WWE is lying about the number. A lie? In wrestling? Surely you jest. I don’t get why people are so obsessed with proving there were less people there than claimed.

Aretha Franklin sings America the Beautiful.

Gorilla and Jesse are with celebrities Bob Uecker and Mary Hart.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes which is the battle of the full nelson.

Heenan and Hercules say about what you would expect them to say.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

A suplex gets two for Hercules as he picks Haynes up. Billy can’t suplex Hercules because of the back so the Greek guy hits a backbreaker to keep the momentum up. Hercules hooks the full nelson but can’t get the fingers locked, allowing Billy to escape. Jack fights out of it and they clothesline each other down. Haynes grabs a quick atomic drop to fire the crowd up but his back messes up again. A clothesline sets up a legdrop on Hercules and a middle rope fist to the head keeps Hercules in trouble. Jack gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls them both to the floor. Herc gets put in the hold again but a double countout ends this.

Rating: D+. The fact that the crowd is hot for everything tonight is all that made this passable, which can be a great tool to bring a match up a lot. At the end of the day, they’re WAY too similar and neither guy is exactly someone that can carry a match. It’s not terrible but it didn’t go anywhere at all. This would be the only feud of note that Haynes had and he would be jobbing soon.

Post match Hercules blasts Haynes with his chain a few times and busts him open.

King Kong Bundy and his midgets say they’ll beat Hillbilly Jim and his midgets.

The other team says the exact opposite.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Beaver would be 52 and Littlebrook would be 58 at this point. Uecker jumps in on commentary. Haiti and Tokyo start before we get a four way crisscross. The good small guys hook a stupid looking hold called the rowboat on their evil counterparts and the crowd doesn’t seem interested. Off to Beaver as Uecker seems really happy to be here. Jesse wants to see Bundy crush one of these guys because that’s the kind of guy he is.

Littlebrook vs. Beaver at the moment but it’s quickly off to Bundy. Beaver and Haiti annoy him a bit until it’s off to Hillbilly for a nice ovation. Bundy gets dropped by a clothesline and an elbow drop allows Jim and company to pile on for a two. Jim gets caught in a front facelock but Beaver comes in and blasts Bundy in the face to get on his nerves again. Bundy finally grabs Beaver and crushes him with a slam and an elbow drop, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D+. This is another of those matches where you have to consider what they were going for. You’ve got two giants and four midgets out there with Hillbilly Jim picking up a 52 year old man so he can pull on Jim’s beard. How tough can I be on a match like this? Unfortunately Beaver’s back was hurt by Bundy in this and he had to retire.

Even the heel midgets turn on Bundy for what he did. Jim carries out Little Beaver ala Superman and Supergirl.

Macho Man won’t let Liz get interviewed.

We recap Race vs. JYD. Race is the King of Wrestling but Dog refuses to bow because he doesn’t think we have kings here in America. One night JYD put Race’s robe and crown on but Race decked him and tried to force JYD to bow. JYD is the Junkyard Dog in case you’re new at this.

Race, Heenan and Moolah (the Queen) says that there won’t be a new king tonight.

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

The loser has to bow. Uecker is apparently in love with Moolah and bails out of the booth. Race comes out to either Lawler’s music or the song Lawler’s music was remixed from. Dog says that he wants to take over the spot on the throne. Oh and I forgot to mention the ring carts which only appeared here and at Mania 6. Those things were AWESOME. Dog blocks some punches to start and pounds away but Race trips up JYD to give Race control.

Dog comes right back with a headbutt to send Race to the floor before pulling him right back in. Race gets knocked to the floor again and is in big trouble. Back in and Race tries a headbutt and knocks himself silly. A Flair Flip in the corner sends Race to the floor AGAIN but it still doesn’t last long. Back inside Dog hits some headbutts but has to stop to chase off Heenan, allowing Race to hit a belly to belly for the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good primarily due to time. The majority of the match was spent with Race on the floor which isn’t what you expect from him. Dog was all about personality and crowd response as most of his offense was a bunch of headbutts. Not much to see here but the crowd was into it.

Dog bows to Race but then blasts him with a chair and steals the robe.

Hogan talks about riding to the show after hearing people telling him this was his last ride. Tonight it’s time for Andre to face the truth and all Hogan has to do is beat a 7’4 520lb giant. Andre has to beat Hogan and every Hulkamaniac in the world. Hulkamania is going to get Andre, not the dirty air or the politicians (HUH?) and Andre has to face the truth. I’ve seen the match he’s talking about probably 40 times and it still feels huge.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.

Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Valentine, Bravo and Johnny V (short for Valentine but shortened to avoid confusion) leave Beefcake behind.

We recap Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper. Piper had left to make a movie and came back to find Piper’s Pit taken over by Adonis’ Flower Shop with Orton having sided with Adonis. Orton, Adonis, Muraco and Hart broke Piper’s leg but he came back with a ball bat and DESTROYED the Flower Shop. This is also billed as Piper’s farewell match.

Piper says he’s not going out to a man that wears a dress. No Retreat and No Surrender!

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

The loser gets their hair cut and is probably the third biggest match on the show if not the second biggest. Piper walks to the ring instead of taking the cart to soak everything in a little bit more. The fans go NUTS for Piper who is still somewhat freshly face. Adonis is rather plump here, giving us a great line from Jesse: “We’re either going to have a bald Scot or Humpty Dumpty.” Piper takes off his belt and they whip each other a few times with Adonis taking over.

Piper comes right back by sending Adrian into the corner for Flair Flip to the floor. Both Adonis and Hart get pulled back in and Piper rams them together to send them back outside. Back in again and Piper throws Hart off the top and onto Adonis but Jimmy FINALLY gets something right by tripping Roddy down.

Now it’s Adonis in control as they head to the floor. Piper gets sent into the announce table and Jimmy adds a spray of perfume into his eyes. There’s Adrian’s sleeper (Good Night Irene) and Piper is almost out, but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Brutus Beefcake runs out to wake Piper up and after a missed clipper shot from Adonis, Piper puts him in the sleeper for the win.

Rating: C+. This was the exact kind of wild brawl that you would expect it to be. The ending was the right move as Adonis had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it made sense given the haircut stuff. This is the right way for Roddy to go out though and the fans were way into it. Fun stuff here.

Post match Adonis gets his hair cut and punches a mirror. Roddy gets his big sendoff.

Jesse is introduced to the crowd before the next match to annoy Gorilla.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Davis is a crooked referee that cost both the Bulldogs and Santana their titles. Apparently this is Davis’ debut as a wrestler. Mary Hart (no relation) is on commentary along with Uecker here as well. Tito beats up Danny before the match before we get going with Bret and Santana. Jesse steals the Bulldogs’ mascot Matilda as he leaves. Off to Davey vs. Anvil and Smith pulls him by the beard. That’s a bit rough even for Neidhart.

Tito comes back in to work on the arm but gets sent to the heel corner for some high quality choking. That goes nowhere so here’s Smith vs. Neidhart again. Jim takes him down with a suplex but Bret misses a middle rope elbow. Dynamite comes in for the chest to buckle bump from Bret but Hart comes back with some punches. Tito tries to break up some interference but only allows even more cheating by Neidhart.

Jim hooks a modified camel clutch on Dynamite before it’s back to Bret. I don’t think we’ve seen Davis in yet but before I can finish that sentence he’s in for a few stomps. That’s the extent of his offense as it’s already back to Bret for some actual skill. The sun is starting to go down so the arena looks dark now. Back to Danny for one kick before it’s time for the Hitman again.

The Harts slingshot Davis right onto Dynamite’s knees and it’s off to Santana for the beating on Davis that the fans have been waiting for. Tito destroys Danny and hits the forearm but Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four. Off to Smith who rams Davis’ head into Dynamite’s. A jumping tombstone (not yet named) kills Davis even more but Smith doesn’t want the cover. There’s the delayed vertical followed by the powerslam but everything breaks down. Davis pops up and hits Smith with the megaphone for the pin in the melee.

Rating: C-. As fun as the beating Davis took was, the ending is really stupid as he popped up like nothing and was able to knock out a power guy with a single shot? The guy was a referee a few months ago but he’s able to do that with one shot? Bad ending aside, this was fun stuff and the fans were WAY into it.

Heenan and Andre say that Andre can’t be defeated and everyone knows it. Bobby’s white suit is rather awesome.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Slick is here with Reed. That comes into play later. Reed overpowers him to start which is appropriate in a power vs. speed match. Koko comes back with that dropkick of his to send Reed out to the floor. Back in and a shot to the Bird Man’s ribs give Butch control again but Koko hiptosses him down. Koko pounds away and hits another dropkick for two. A run of the ropes proves deadly though as Reed rolls through a cross body and a handful of tights pins Ware.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Koko was there as a warm body to lose to Butch. Reed was going to be the Intercontinental Champion after Steamboat got done with it but Honky talked his way into getting the belt instead. This match was there only to set up the post match stuff which we’ll get to now.

Tito runs in and beats up Slick, ripping off his “expensive” suit. A double dropkick sends Reed to the floor.

So far we’ve had eight matches and on average it’s probably a C- at best. I think the next one might help bring things up a bit.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat. On an episode of Superstars, Savage smashed Steamboat’s throat into the barricade and crushed his larynx with the ring bell. One night on SNME, George Steele was facing Randy Savage and promised a surprise. Steele kidnapped Liz and when Savage got up, he saw Steamboat staring up at him and terror reigned.

Savage says that he’s retaining the title and is going to prove how amazing he is.

Steamboat says this is their destiny and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back. This promo still gives me chills.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

The fans give an audible pop for Savage which even the announcers have to acknowledge. George Steele comes out to back up Steamboat and show off that green tongue. They shove each other around a few times before Randy takes an early breather. Savage misses a back elbow and Steamboat hits a pair of those perfect armdrags of his. Randy is lifted into the air via a choke and it’s back to the floor.

Back in and Savage gets in his first shot before sending Ricky into the buckle. Steamboat immediately comes back by grabbing the wrist and lifting Savage into the air. Savage comes back with an elbow to the face before sending Steamboat over the top and out to the floor. Randy starts going after the throat but has to stop to try to get his left arm working again. Steamboat sends him into the buckle and chops away, sending Savage into the ropes.

With the champion tied up, Steamboat fires away with a vengeance. Savage gets loose and Ricky hits a cross body for two, kicking off one of the fastest sets of near falls you’ll EVER see. Randy finally slows him down with a knee to the back and a toss over the ropes, only to have Ricky skin the cat. Savage throws him out again and knocks him into the crowd for good measure. The top rope ax handle keeps Steamboat down even longer and Savage is in full control.

Savage hits a clothesline for two which Gorilla doesn’t like. Gorilla: “That could be a disqualification.” Jesse: “For what?” Gorilla: “Intentional.” Jesse: “Well of course it was intentional!” Gorilla could find some weird stuff to complain about at times. After a pair of Savage suplexes for two, Ricky starts firing back and sends Savage out to the floor. A top rope chop gets two for the challenger and they speed things up all over again.

We get another chase on the floor followed by a sunset flip by the Dragon for two. They trade ANOTHER great pinfall reversal sequence as Jesse declares this one of the greatest matches he’s ever seen. A slingshot sends Savage face first into the post and there’s a sunset flip for two for the Dragon. Savage reverses an O’Connor Roll with a handful of tights for two. Randy uses the tights again and sends Dragon shoulder first into the post.

They reverse an Irish whip and the referee gets bumped. Randy hits another clothesline and drops the big elbow but there’s no referee. Savage goes to get the bell but Steele takes it away. That earns the Animal a kick in the head so he shoves Savage off the top. Steamboat is back up and famously counters a slam into a small package for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. This is the greatest match of all time so what do you expect me to give it. I’m amazed at how well this holds up nearly 26 years later as there is nothing wrong with it at all. The story goes that these two practiced this match at Savage’s house for three months beforehand and it shows. Not a thing is even close to screwed up and they’re so fast out there it’s unbelievable. How anyone can say this is anything but perfect astounds me to this day. If you haven’t seen this before, watch it now and take notes.

Alice Cooper (male rock/metal singer) is here to back up Jake Roberts against Honky and Jimmy Hart. This was set up because Honky hit Jake in the back with a guitar, which was allegedly the reason for Jake’s addiction to pain medication that has plagued him for years. Jake says Honky got his shot but didn’t make it count. His mustache alone makes him the favorite.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

This is one of the matches that is there to give us a breather between the masterpiece and the main event. Jake pounds away to start and hits a knee lift to send Honky out to the floor. Honky still can’t get his ring suit off so Jake rips it off for him. Jake follows him to the floor and slams Honky down before heading back inside. Back in and Jake charges into a knee to the face to shift momentum.

Honky drops a pair of knees to Jake’s back but misses a punch and walks into the short clothesline. The grease in Honky’s hair allows him to escape the DDT and we head outside again. Jake is sent into the post and the barricade so Honky can dance a bit. Back in and a middle rope punch puts Jake in even more trouble. There’s a knee drop to the Snake and a pair of elbows for no cover.

The Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) is countered by Jake and there’s an atomic drop for the eternally funny selling by Honky. Jake punches him to the apron and Honky gets caught in between the ropes, meaning he bounces back up every time Jake punches him. The DDT is countered again and after a Jimmy interference, Honky grabs a rollup and the top rope for the upset pin.

Rating: C. You could see the Honky Tonk Man character coming on here as Jake was way better but got cheated at the end. Honky would ride that one idea for the next year and a half, drawing WAY more money and heat than he had any right to earn. Jake would feud with various heels for the next few months while being one of the many challengers to chase Honky. He finally got with Rick Rude for an awesome string of matches.

Post match Honky is chased off and Jimmy gets covered by Damien the snake.

Gene Okerlund announces a new world indoor attendance record of 93,173. That’s awesome.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

Unlike the previous match that had a feud going with it, this is just a random heel and face pairing. Slick (the foreigners’ manager) still has his torn up suit on. Volkoff starts singing the Soviet national anthem but the pretty new Jim Duggan runs out to break it up. The Bees finally show up and it’s a big brawl to start. Duggan is marching around at ringside with the 2×4 complete with a little American flag taped to it.

We start with Blair and Sheik but it’s quickly off to Brunzell. The Bees work over Iron’s arm with tags faster than I can type them. They stay on the arm until Brunzell hits his gorgeous dropkick for two on Sheik. Everything breaks down for a bit and Brunzell gets caught in the corner. Nikolai keeps Brunzell in trouble as the fans chant USA. There’s the bearhug by the Russian but Jim smacks his ears to break the hold.

Off to Sheik for the gutwrench suplex for two and a regular version for two. Brunzell comes back with a quick high knee but the referee doesn’t see the tag. A double elbow puts Jim down again and Sheik poses a lot. Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring and sees Sheik with the camel clutch on Brunzell. Being the patriot that he is, Duggan blasts Sheik in the back with the board for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible little match here until the stupid ending. This was again about furthering another feud in the form of Duggan against the evil foreigners. Why the Bees would be ok with Duggan doing that is beyond me but I guess since they’re all good guys they have to get along in WWF logic.

Andre says the next time you see him, he’ll be world heavyweight champion. Heenan says he’ll be the manager of the world champion and go down in history.

We recap Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan. Andre was there three years ago when Hogan won the title and they teamed together a few times with Hogan making the save when Andre was double teamed. There’s a LONG story (not mentioned in the show because it isn’t important) about Andre getting suspended and wrestling in a mask until Bobby Heenan, the guy behind the suspension, got it lifted.

Andre appeared with Hogan in Piper’s Pit where both received trophies; Andre’s for being undefeated for fifteen years and Hogan’s for being world champion for three years. However, Andre’s trophy was noticeably smaller, prompting him to say “three years to be a champion, that’s a long time.” A few weeks later, Andre walked into the Pit with Heenan at his side and challenges Hogan for Wrestlemania. Hogan is STUNNED and has the crucifix ripped off his chest. Hogan finally agrees to fight Andre at Wrestlemania and the arena exploded. Make no mistake about it: THIS is why Wrestlemania III is the biggest show ever.

Hogan talks about how he’s going to knock the giant down and shake the world.

Bob Uecker is brought in as the guest ring announcer. Jesse says hi to Terry, Tyrell and Jade back in Minneapolis. He did this on nearly every show but never said who those people were. It was nothing secretive: it’s his wife and kids. Mary Hart is guest timekeeper.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan walks to the ring and the ovation is unreal. To put it simply, this is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling. We get the historic staredown and we’re really supposed to believe that Hogan is nine inches shorter than Andre? It’s like three at most. Hogan punches away to start but goes for a slam a minute into this and falls down, giving Andre a very close two. That right there would fuel the rematch requests for the next year. Hulk’s back is hurt and Andre starts taunting him. A big forearm hits Hogan in the back and Andre slams him twice. Andre pounds away very slowly and hits a few headbutts.

Hulk fights back up with some forearms into the head. A running elbow staggers the Giant and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle ten times, only to charge into a boot to slow things right back down again. We hit the bearhug and Hogan is in trouble. This lasts for a LONG while until Hogan punches his way out of it, possibly hurting his hand in the process. Hulk rams into him a few times but charges into a chop to put Hogan down again. A boot to the ribs knocks Hulk to the floor but Andre headbutts the post. Hogan tries a piledriver of all things but is easily backdropped down.

We head back in for the legendary ending sequence. Hogan ducks a big boot and clotheslines down. It’s Hulk Up time and in the most famous scene in wrestling history, Hulk Hogan slams Andre the Giant to blow the roof off the place. The big legdrop makes Hogan immortal and the title is retained.

Rating: B. Ok here’s the thing: if you think this is about the wrestling itself, you have completely missed the point here. This was about making Hogan look like the biggest star ever and to say it did that is an understatement. On top of that, the match isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not a masterpiece or anything like that, but the match is nowhere near as bad as it’s made out to be. This was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Hogan poses for a long time as Heenan leaves with his head in his hands, wondering where it all went wrong.

Overall Rating: A+. There’s really no other grade to give this. It’s the biggest show of all time, the greatest match of all time is on here, and the main event has two of the most famous images of all time. This show is the pinnacle of wrestling in America and it’s never been as big as this again. There’s nothing truly bad on this show as even the weaker matches are at least really short. This show was never about the wrestling though. It’s all spectacle here and it’s an absolute must see show for any fan and it still goes by very smoothly. If you somehow haven’t seen this, definitely check it out.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

Original: B+

Redo: B-

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F

Redo: D+

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

Original: C

Redo: C-

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: N/A

Redo: D

Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C

Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D

Redo: C-

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: A+

It still holds up.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/03/07/wrestlemania-count-up-3-this-show-is-required-viewing-for-all-fans/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 3
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac (Detroit), Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Now we hit the big time. This is the first time when Wrestlemania was built up as the mega event and also it’s the first time we get a few Mania traditions. For one thing, it’s the first time we get the huge main event. While the tag match and Hogan/Bundy were big matches, to say they were nothing compared to Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant is the understatement of the century.

It was also the first time we had a Mania that featured a really big midcard match in the form of what might be the greatest wrestling match of all time. There was far more backstory to these matches this time which is always a good thing as it causes far less filler. It can easily be argued that this right here is the true birth of Wrestlemania as we know it.

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

That being said, let’s get to the first contest! Shockingly enough, it’s kind of a filler, but at the same time it really doesn’t feel like one. We have the short lived tag team known as the Can-Am Connection (Tom “Z-Man” Zenk and Rick Martel) against Bob Orton and Don Muraco, managed by Mr. Fuji. Now the CAC was an interesting team. They were kind of the Rockers before the Rockers.

Both were young, in shape, handsome, and fast paced workers. They were in line to be the face challengers to the Hart Foundation but Zenk left after a strange argument that we’re still unclear on and Martel was paired up with Tito Santana to form one of my all time favorite tag teams in Strike Force, who went on to beat the Harts for the belts.

But anyway onto the match. Yet again, about as basic a tag match as you can get with speed against power and that’s a combination that rarely fails. This is tag team wrestling 101 and it’s done about as well as you could ask for in a situation like this.

CAC plays the role of the young kids that aren’t that experienced against two veterans getting their first shot on the big stage to perfection. Orton gets his arm worked on and completely no sells it less than a minute later which just made me shake my head. This match boarders on a squash as the CAC are really never in trouble at all and win with a cross body on Muraco.

Rating: B-. The lack of selling by Orton and the absolute dominance by the CAC keep this from being a great match but for a warm up match for Wrestlemania that was designed to get the crowd into the show, this was done perfectly. I think I voted for this as best Mania opener ever, which I still think isn’t a stretch.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Next up we have Hercules against Billy Jack Haynes in a battle of the full nelsons. Simple story here: two powerhouses that both use the full nelson. A few weeks prior to this, Haynes had offered to let Hercules put the hold on him to see if he could break it. Hercules, a heel, attacked him and knocked him out with the hold, leading to this match at Mania.

The match starts off pretty fast with some hard hitting shots. Hercules takes over and all this seems to be about is getting the full nelson on the other. It’s really just a brawl which is fine as they keep it relatively short here. It’s always fun to see two big strong guys hammering on each other. Hercules has the pin and pulls him up which leads to the comeback.

Hercules gets the hold on first but it’s not on full which lets Haynes get up. Haynes eventually gets his nelson on but Hercules launches both of them to the floor where Haynes gets the hold again but we get a double count out. Haynes chases Heenan and Hercules blasts Haynes with the chain and Haynes is busted open really deep sending blood everywhere.

Rating: C-. Decent match between two brawlers that was given the right amount of time. It wasn’t supposed to be a classic and it wasn’t. This match was all about a single hold and that’s what ended the match. Went as well as it could have so it gets a decent grade.

King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo vs. Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid

There’s little story to this if any and why midget wrestlers are involved is beyond me. Bob Uecker is on commentary which is good as he’s fairly funny for someone that has no wrestling experience. The rules are simple here: big vs. big and small vs. small.

This match if nothing else proves that Bundy against Hogan was thrown together because there was nothing left. He goes from main eventing Wrestlemania to this? WOW. This is pretty short with the midgets doing most of the work. I get the idea here is that they’re supposed to be professionals and interesting but how can you argue that they’re anything but a novelty?

They go back and forth with Uecker giving some funny commentary. I’m not a fan of these kind of matches at all. They fill time here which isn’t saying much until Bundy is tagged in. Hillbilly gets beaten down by him and then Bundy slams and elbows one of the midgets causing a DQ. Hillbilly carries him to the back in what is a far cry from Superman carrying Supergirl but I’ll take what I can get I guess.

Rating: F. Seriously, what were they thinking here? This match managed to get a few minutes on the biggest show of all time. I guess you could call this the final remnant of the old days when midget matches were popular, but I’m still not getting the point of this. Nothing match and a total filler if there ever was one. And again, how did Bundy fall so far in a year?

Elizabeth Promo. This doesn’t happen as Macho comes in and says he’ll answer any questions the interviewer has. The interview never happens as Macho sends Liz away.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Limited story here. Race was the King of the WWF at the time and on a SNME he had faced the JYD. JYD had said he wouldn’t bow to anyone and after Race had knocked him down he tried to force JYD’s head down to bow. The loser here has to bow to the winner. Race stalls like the true old school master that he is. Heenan gets involved and there goes Dog after him.

Naturally this fails him completely but since Dog has a very hard head most of Race’s shots have little to no effect. Race goes for a headbutt on the floor and Dog moves so Race rams his face into the floor. That can’t be nice at all. Gorilla and Jesse argue about managers which is always entertaining. You could tell there was a lot of respect between them.

Abdominal stretch goes on and Gorilla of course complains about it. Did he ever not complain about that hold? Race goes for a headbutt and nearly knocks himself unconscious in the process. Nice job there champ. On all fours now, which Gorilla says is Dog’s favorite position. Heenan gets up on the apron and allows Race to recover and catch a belly to belly to win it.

Rating: D+. Nothing special at all here as it was another four minute match. The right guy won though as Race was far better as far as wrestling talent went but it was surprising to see a guy like Dog, who was very popular, losing like this mostly clean. This was fine I guess.

Post match Dog bows but then pops Race with the chair and steals the crown and robe like a true jerk.

We hear from Hulk Hogan in one of the best cocaine induced promos ever. Seriously, if anyone believes that these Hogan promos aren’t drug induced then they’re far beyond what I can help. Hulk apparently thinks today is a big deal.

Rougeau Brothers vs. The Dream Team

Before we get a really weird promo from Johnny V and Dino Bravo on the Rougeaus. Johnny V is nuts but I like him. On with the match. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake if you were wondering. The key to this match is the Dream Team arguing for the entire match for no good reason.

Brutus tried to break up a sleeper but hit Valentine by mistake. Rougeaus hit their finisher but Bravo comes in, hits one of them and puts Valentine on Rougeau. The other three then leave Brutus in the ring, signaling the start of his face turn that lasted until 1994.

Rating: D+. Didn’t do much as it was more for the angle than the match obviously. Not a bad match at all, but nothing mind blowing. This was another way too quick match that I couldn’t get into due to simply being too short. Also the Dream Team is worthy of a major blowoff like this? Really? Pretty weak little match but technically pretty ok.

Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper

Now we get to another of the famous matches here in Roddy Piper’s retirement match which has become a running joke in wrestling. The idea is that Piper went down with an injury and when he came back, Adonis had taken over Piper’s Pit and turned it into the Flower Shop.

They beat on each other for awhile until Piper thought he was an actor because of They Live so he decided to retire. Since then he’s wrestled on and off for over 20 years. A key to this match is both men use the sleeper hold as their finisher. The loser is going to get a haircut apparently.

Adrian is in his most famous gimmick here so Piper, being the MAN’S MAN that he is, hated him. There was a lot more homophobia in wrestling back then, at least in kayfabe. Well not really as any character like that is treated oddly. Those ring carts are still sweet stuff. Adonis says he’ll win. Piper busts out a belt and wipes out Adrian with it before taking a few shots of his own.

Hart gets involved a few times as this is little more than a comedy match for the most part. He finally gets something right though as he pulls Piper’s leg to give Adonis the advantage. Piper gets sent into the table and it’s all Adonis here. Back in the ring now with Piper saying bring it on.

Jimmy sprays perfume in Piper’s eyes and Adrian gets Good Night Irene, his sleeper finisher, and Piper goes down fast. He drops twice but Adrian lets go before the third drop, thinking he’s won. Brutus Beefcake runs down to wake Piper up (Adrian had accidentally cut Beefcake’s hair recently so it makes sense) and Piper gets his own sleeper to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s a standard Piper match which is always fun. This was just a comedy match but at the end of the day piper’s career was never about what he did in the ring so how can I really complain here? This was no classic or anything but it was fine and the fans cheered a lot because of it. PIper didn’t wrestle again for over two years so Piper lived up to his word for a good while at least.

Post match Beefcake cuts Adonis’ hair. A fan runs in as he leaves.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. Tito Santana/British Bulldogs

This match is pretty much all backstory. Danny Davis used to be a referee but he would cheat for the heels. He cheated Tito out of the IC Title and gave it to Macho Man and cheated the Bulldogs out of the tag titles and handed them to the Harts. He was banned “for life plus ten years”, which lasted about a year or so and he was back again as a referee. The idea here is that he’s completely inept at wrestling and all of his opponents want to kill him and Jimmy Hart, including the Bulldogs’ bulldog Matilda.

Davis will run in and kick someone maybe twice and then bail, more or less making this a 3 on 2 handicap. Hearing the commentators sing Bret’s praises is nothing but amazing as his singles push wasn’t coming for at least another year and a half and his real singles push was almost 3 years away. The kid really had talent and you can see it here.

Before the match Jesse went down to ringside to be introduced to the crowd so we have Gorilla, Bob Uecker and the host of Entertainment Tonight so the commentary is just bad right now. Uecker has some good one liners but the woman is just mindblowingly annoying. Davis misses a splash letting Tito get tagged in and he nearly kills Davis. The faces alternate with just beating the living tar out of him including a tombstone from Davey which was just odd to see for some reason.

The ending of the match was just awful though. Davis gets the sense beaten out of him taking all three of the faces’ finishers with the last being the powerslam. Bret breaks up the pin, and less than 10 seconds after getting powerslammed, Davis gets the megaphone tossed to him and drills Davey with it for the pin.

Rating: C-. The ending was just horrible to me as Davis, a referee, no sells a tombstone, the forearm and the powerslam? With guys like the Bulldogs, Santana and Hart in there, this should have been great. At best it was ok and the ending lost that for them.

Heenan and Andre do a promo here with Andre looking absolutely creepy by not moving an inch. Weirdest part of this interview: Heenan is at least 4 inches taller than Okerlund.

Butch Reed vs. Koko B. Ware

Remember how I said there was less filler on this show? This is some of that filler. There’s no reason at all here for this match other than to let Reed get a squash here and then the post match attack. The best part of the pre match stuff is a shot of Jesse and Gorilla in the broadcast booth which is at least a few hundred feet away from the ring with Jesse showing off his Wrestlemania 3 t-shirt.

As he shows it off he starts showing off his bicep and the way he talks about it is just funny. Anyway, on with this waste of time. If there has ever been a match of a weird combination this is it. Koko is the epitome of a jobber. What did he ever win in his whole career? Reed on the other hand is a great example of someone that had it all but never could put it together. He was even lined up to be a member of the Horsemen.

He had the look, the name, the power, everything you could want but he never could put it all together and I’ve never been sure why. Anyway, this is a pretty bland match as Reed reverses a bad cross body and uses the tights to win. After the match Slick beats up Koko with the cane until Tito runs out and beats up Slick for some reason and rips up his suit.

Rating: N/A. This match was a bad squash. It had no point and the match was just boring. Easily the worst match on the show.

Savage rants about how he’s going to end this tonight.

Steamboat says the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

I think I now know why the previous match was in the place it was. There’s nothing I can really say about this match that hasn’t already been said. In case you don’t know the backstory, here it is. About 3 months before Savage had been defending the title against Steamboat and during the match had put Steamboat’s throat over the guard rail, went up top and landed a double axe handle, driving him throat first into the rail.

Steamboat had a crushed larynx and allegedly his career was over. Savage had a match on Superstars and Steamboat’s music hit and the crowd went insane. Epic staredown ensues and the match was made for Mania. Between then and Mania, George Steele kidnaps Liz to continue their year long feud so Steele was in Steamboat’s corner.

Savage can’t keep up with him to start and Steamboat dominates with armdrags and then a big old choke. Steamboat works the arm and Savage is in trouble early. Savage throws him to the floor though and now it’s Ricky in trouble. Very nice back and forth stuff to start. Savage goes for the throat which is the part of Steamboat that he hurt earlier so there’s your reasoning.

They keep going back and forth with Steamboat hammering away to get Savage caught in the ropes. They’re moving rather fast out there and Dragon keeps throwing out that armdrag. Ton of near falls in a row for both guys. Dragon Skins the Cat but gets knocked back to the floor. Savage hits a knee to the back of Steamboat to send him over the table and into the crowd.

Jesse yells at Gorilla for saying Steele helping Steamboat back in is cheating and calls Gorilla out of being hypocritical when another heel manager helped his guy back in early. Double axe to the back of the head of Steamboat on the floor and the count is on. Gorilla wants Savage disqualified for some weird clothesline thing. That was odd.

Savage gets a gutwrench suplex for two. Here comes Steamboat again though and he sends Savage over the top with a beautiful bump to the floor. He jumps OVER the referee to hit a big chop on Savage for two. They crank it up again for more near falls all over the place. Savage eats post on a slingshot and that only gets two. He manages to grab Steamboat and send him into the post shoulder first.

And there goes the referee. Savage gets the elbow but there’s no referee for the count. Randy goes out to get his trust bell but Steele shoves him off the top and his head cracks into the bell. Both guys are down though. Savage picks him up and in the famous ending, Steamboat rolls through into a small package for the pin and the title to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: A+. As I said before, likely the greatest match of all time. Nothing but an A+ the whole way with these two beating each other up and never slowing down a bit. Apparently all of these spots were planned out months in advance in Savage’s house in Florida which worked very well as there are zero bad spots here that I can think of. Excellent match and something everyone should see at least once if not more than once.

Jake Roberts vs. The Honky Tonk Man

This all started on Jake’s interview segment the Snake Pit where Honky hit him with a real guitar. See today, the guitars Jeff Jarrett uses are fake. They’re made to explode the way they do. The one Honky used was a real one and didn’t break.

Some of the material legitimately got stuck in Jake’s neck and allegedly that’s what got him addicted to alcohol and drugs to alleviate the pain. Believe that if you want to. Anyway, that more or less started Jake’s face turn and for God knows what reason, rocker Alice Cooper is in Jake’s corner. Also factor in that Jimmy Hart is deathly afraid of snakes.

There’s really not much here. It’s about 7 minutes long so it gets some time but Honky really hadn’t established the character that made him legendary yet, so this isn’t what you’d expect. It’s a very slow paced match that was I think designed to give the people a breather after the IC Title match. They go back and forth for awhile but Jake goes for the DDT and Jimmy grabs his foot. Honky rolls him up and grabs the rope for the pin. After the match, Jake and Alice torment Jimmy with the snake to end things.

Rating: C. It’s nothing special and is little more than a breather for the fans between the two mega matches. This was allegedly a double turn according to some people but that is just stupid as both guys already were in their more famous roles. This was a pretty ok match but dude, they’re following Savage vs. Steamboat. Like anyone cares about what happened here.

We get Gene Okerlund to announce the world attendance record of 93,173. No matter what you think of the show, that’s freaking amazing. This also gets you the beginning of the long running joke with Jesse and Gorilla of Jesse wondering whether or not he and Gorilla are counted in that.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

More or less the same review of the previous match but in tag team version. This is another filler to bridge the gap between the two big matches. As Volkoff is singing, Jim Duggan runs out with the 2×4 and stops the song. This is a really dull match with the Bees using fast moves against both big guys but eventually getting caught.

Duggan is on the floor playing cheerleader throughout the whole thing. Duggan starts chasing Volkoff for some reason while Sheik has one of the Bees in the camel clutch. They go into the ring and Duggan looks at Sheik and for no reason at all, blasts him over the back with the board. Even the commentators are at a loss for why he hit him. It just made absolutely no sense at all.

Rating: D. This match was boring and the ending made less sense than an Iron Sheik promo. Again this was just filler and a way to get the crowd all fired up for that whole biggest match of all time thing coming after it. There was very little thought in this one as the buildup was weak on Superstars. All that being said though as I said in the previous rating, dude they’re right before Hogan vs. Andre.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

This match has been called the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling and that very well may be true. It was the first true super main event in Wrestlemania history. Here’s the story: Hogan and Andre used to be friends and even tag partners. They celebrated together when Hogan won the belt over 3 years ago. Hogan ran in to save Andre a few times from being beaten up by Bundy and Studd.

Fast forward a year and Hogan is being given a trophy for being World Champion for three years. Andre is given a slightly smaller trophy for not losing a match in 15 years. He looks at the trophies and just walks away. A few weeks later, they have a face to face interview on Piper’s Pit. Andre tilts Hogan’s head up at him and says “Look at me when I’m talking to you. I’m here for one reason: to challenge you for a world championship match at Wrestlemania.”

Hogan is stunned and says he can’t do it. Andre grabs Hogan’s shirt and the cross he wears and rips them off, stunning Hogan. Piper asks him if he’ll fight him and Hogan screams YES!!! You really have to understand how big this was at the time. Andre was like Taker as far as mystique goes, but 10x moreso. This would be like Hulk Hogan coming back today and challenging John Cena to a match.

Hogan cuts one of the most famous promos of his career before the match, saying that the world is going to fall at his feet after the match. Hogan always had that little hint at implying he was God in his promos but never flat out said it.

Andre comes out and the booing is mindblowing. In something that I find funny, he waves to the fans on the way down to ringside. Jesse gives the tale of the tape, which is all of Andre and Hogan’s measurements, showing that as big as Hogan is, Andre is so much bigger. Bob Uecker is the guest announcer and after introducing Andre, says three simple words: and, his opponent. After that, the fans just lose it. Hogan’s music hits and nothing else matters at all.

Gorilla puts it best by saying “The roof of the Silverdome is about to explode here!” In a great camera shot, you get a wide angle shot of the arena with the spotlight on Hogan which really shows how this whole show has been building to this one moment. Hogan gets in the ring and it’s on. I won’t go into detail here either as I’m sure you’ve all seen this at one time or another. Every word of commentary is famous here as I can almost quote the whole match to you.

Within 15 seconds, Hogan goes for a slam and we nearly get a pin. That is a point that is used for over a year as Hogan might not have gotten his shoulder up in time. The way the camera is set up you really can’t tell if he did or not. That would be a point of contention from Heenan for nearly a year, leading up to their rematch in February of 1988.

The in ring work here is really pretty bad, but no one cared. This match was all about the meaning of what was going on and the truly epic nature of the match. No one really knew who was going to win here and it was a legitimate possibility that Hogan would lose. Andre more or less beats the living crap out of Hogan the whole match until the very end. Hogan gets some shots in here and there that do some damage and Andre is clearly worn out at the end of it.

The crowd is almost stunned that Hogan is being dominated. They brawl on the floor for a bit and then head back into the ring. Andre misses a boot and Hogan clotheslines him, knocking him down. The fans go insane at the sight of this. Hulk Hulks Up and he has the crowd in the palm of his hand at this point. In what might be the most most scene in the history of wrestling, Hogan slams Andre to enter immortality.

Even the commentators are in awe at this point as Hogan drops the leg and wins the match. Andre was so big at the time that Hogan ripped his ab muscles to pieces slamming him and was out for a few months. The music plays and Heenan and Andre get into the cart that takes them to the back as Heenan has his head in his hands, wondering what just happened. Hogan poses as we close the show with the fans absolutely going nuts.

Rating: A. The match itself is pretty bad but the historical significance is second to absolutely nothing. Now I’ve seen a lot of people (including his majesty Mr. Meltzer) say this was a horrible match and all that jazz. In short: SCREW YOU ALL. Get the sticks out of yourselves and have some fun for once. If you don’t get chills watching the staredown and the slam, then go watch something else.

You have Hogan and Andre who can barely move at all. What are they supposed to do out there? The entire idea here was to have a major showdown and that’s exactly what they did. THis match was epic, still is epic and will always be epic. Anyone that says this wasn’t a great match that did exactly what it was supposed to do is a fool, and i don’t care who I have to argue this with.

Overall Rating: B+. I went back and forth between B+ and A- here. This is the first truly historic Wrestlemania and the first to truly be the spectacle that is has become today. Easily the two biggest matches are the singles title matches that are still incredibly famous today. There’s far less filler than before and the matches have much more solid stories to them.

This show is more famous for its historical aspect than the in ring stuff and that’s just fine. It’s not the best Mania of all time, but it’s up there. Definite recommendation to see this if you never have, or if you just haven’t watched it in awhile, if nothing else just for the history lesson

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

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Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Locations: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James (New York), Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby (Chicago), Lord Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira (Los Angeles)

This is basically three miniature shows combined into one big card. Each city would have its live action and then they would get to watch the shows from the other cities. It’s not the best idea in the world but like I said, there’s only so much they can do with the position they’re in. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon is in New York to welcome us to the show and introduce Ray Charles to sing America the Beautiful. As would become the custom, various images of American landscapes, military and run of the mill citizens are superimposed over the performance. Charles does an amazing rendition of the song and the fans give him the ovation he deserves.

Gene Okerlund is in Chicago to talk about the battle royal. By talk about I mean he mentions it and then throws it to the next interview.

Roddy Piper is ready for his boxing match and has trainer Lou Duva (who trained names such as Lennox Lewis and Evander Holyfield) in his corner. Piper says he’ll quit everything from wrestling to tiddlywinks to dating girls if Mr. T. can knock him out. He won’t quite Bob Orton of course. However, even if Mr. T. knocks him out, he’ll never, and I quote, “shave his head like an Indian and paint himself black.”

The Magnificent Muraco vs. Paul Orndorff

Muraco is a heel technician who was a very good hand in the ring. This is fallout from last year as Orndorff took the fall in the main event and Piper has sent Muraco to get some revenge. They trade slams to start and the crowd is already white hot. Orndorff is nice enough to make a slant eyes gesture at Muraco’s manager Mr. Fuji. Orndorff takes him down again as Susan St. James (an actress) is staying with this on commentary but clearly has almost no idea who these people are.

Paul cranks on the arm and my goodness Muraco is sweating quite a bit. We hit a wristlock, which St. James calls an ancient Chinese technique. At least she sounds happy to be here so I can excuse some of here bad lines. Muraco gets in a right hand and they brawl to the floor for a double countout at 4:10. The fans loudly swear at the result.

Rating: D. This had no time to go anywhere and I have no idea who thought this was the right way to open a show. I mean, it’s Wrestlemania. It’s ok to actually have a fall here instead of trying to set something up for later. The match wasn’t even any good and that’s not how you want to set the tone for one of the biggest shows of the year.

Mr. T. says he’s fighting for his friend the Haiti Kid, whose hair was cut by Piper and Orton. Fink’s announcement of the double countout drowns out a lot of his words.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Steele, a crazy bald man with an incredibly hairy torso, is challenging and is totally in love with Savage’s manager Elizabeth. Savage debuted last year and has taken the company by storm, including taking the Intercontinental Title from Tito Santana earlier in the year. Randy goes to the floor to start before running again from Steele’s waving arms. He runs again and we’re waiting on the first contact nearly a minute in.

Savage isn’t fast enough this time though and George bites his leg as the champion tries to get back inside. Back in and Steele looks at Elizabeth, allowing Savage to hit him in the back and get two off a high cross body. That’s not a move you often see from Savage. Steele throws him to the floor so the champ crawls under the ring and comes around to the other side for a knee to George’s back. That’s fine with George as he bites Savage’s arm and takes over again.

Randy bails to the floor and finds a bouquet of flowers but George shoves them in his face. This is a really uneven comedy match so far and it gets even worse as Steele goes to eat a turnbuckle but opts to shove the stuffing in Savage’s face instead. Steele goes after Elizabeth at ringside, allowing Randy to ax handle him off the apron. Back in and the top rope elbow gets…..two? That’s a very, very rare kickout but it doesn’t matter as Savage rolls him up and throws his feet on the ropes to retain at 7:08.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? I know Steele had been feuding with Savage for a long time but this was the best they could do for a major match? Total disaster here with the comedy not working and Savage just coming back and grabbing a win at the end. Savage winning was the right idea, but you could have cut a lot of the goofiness out of this to make for a better, or at least less bad match.

George eats another turnbuckle and chases the referee off.

Big John Studd and NFL player Bill Fralic talk trash before the WWF vs. NFL battle royal in Chicago. The announcement of Savage retaining in New York drowns out the yelling.

McMahon and St. James talk about the next match.

George Wells vs. Jake Roberts

Roberts is another newcomer and this is the high point of Wells’ career. George grabs a quick backdrop to start and Jake can barely stand up. They head outside (notice Jake sliding out like a snake) for more punishment to Jake, followed by a nice flying shoulder from George (ex-pro football player) back inside. Wells knocks him into the ropes but opts not to cover. A good looking powerslam gets two on Jake but he comes back with a thumb to the eye. Jake slides to the floor and gets George to chase him back inside, setting up the DDT for the pin at 3:08.

Rating: D+. This is probably the best match of the night so far and it’s just a step above a regular TV match. Jake was clearly going to be something interesting long term but he was still establishing himself at this point. Well could have been any given warm body here and that’s still a normal spot to have on these early Wrestlemanias.

Jake wraps the snake around Wells post match, making Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper, which started up again after Mr. T. won a boxing match on Saturday Night’s Main Event. Piper wanted to fight him next but Bob Orton helped Piper beat him down instead.

Out in Los Angeles, Hulk Hogan is ready for King Kong Bundy in the cage because he doesn’t like people who take shortcuts. This show is all over the place so far.

We introduce the celebrities for the boxing match. Comedienne Joan Rivers is guest ring announcer and introduces NBA star Darryl Dawkins, singer Cab Calloway and Watergate participant G. Gordon Liddy. Herbert, a character in Burger King commercials at the time, is guest timekeeper. There are no words to describe the drop from Liberace, Billy Martin and Muhammad Ali to…..this.

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Boxing match. Piper has Lou Duva as his trainer and Mr. T. has Joe Frazier. They circle each other to start with Mr. T. hiding behind his gloves and bobbing away from Piper’s punches. The referee keeps having to break up their brawls against the ropes and not a lot has happened so far. Both guys get in a few quick flurries before the first round wraps up.

Round two begins with Mr. T. claiming that Piper has a bunch of grease on his face. Mr. T. gets him into the corner and hammers away as these are clearly fake punches since both guys would be dead otherwise. Piper gets in some heavy rights in the corner and actually knocks him down to a big cheer from the crowd. Even more bombs have Mr. T. in trouble as the round ends.

Between rounds, Orton throws water at Mr. T. in the corner because he’s a villain like that. Mr. T. starts the round well as he basically shoves Piper down into the corner with some punches thrown in as bonuses. Roddy is up at eight so they shove each other, followed by a big left that clearly barely made contact but knocks Piper all the way out to the floor anyway. Back up and the round ends with little else happening.

Piper throws his stool at Mr. T. to start round four and they stand there trading bombs for a bit. Piper starts getting the better of it including a huge right hand that knocks out Mr. T.’s mouthpiece. Mr. T. does the same as St. James wants this to stop. As do the fans now as they’re cheering for Piper. With nothing else working, Piper slams Mr. T. down and it’s a DQ because of course it is.

Rating: D+. As fake as the punches clearly were, this was actually pretty entertaining at times due to how hard they were hitting each other. On top of that, I’ll take this over Mr. T. trying to wrestle again because that could have been an even bigger disaster. This was your standard boxing match on a wrestling show and that’s all they could have done here.

Off to Chicago. The ring looks much smaller here.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending. McIntyre is an Irish wrestler who was one of the more popular women in the division in the 80s. Moolah hair drags her around to start but McIntyre comes back with some one footed dropkicks. Velvet misses a middle rope splash though and Moolah gets the pin at 59 seconds. It’s not entirely clear why this ended so fast but Velvet’s top might have snapped on that landing. You can definitely see Velvet adjusting her top which looks very loose. She gets out of the ring very quickly as well.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirchner

This is a flag match meaning the winner gets to wave his country’s flag. Kirchner is considered one of wrestling’s all time toughest guys and would wind up wrestling in Japan under the name Leatherface. Volkoff throws him to the floor to start and posts the Corporal before biting his forehead. Back in and Kirchner hammers away (with the ring being VERY loud for some reason, as it was back in the same arena at the Wrestling Classic) but the referee goes down. With the distraction, Volkoff’s manager Freddie Blassie throws in his cane, only to have Kirchner intercept it and knock Volkoff out for the pin at 1:35.

Gene Okerlund does the ring introductions for the battle royal. This match has its own celebrities with Clara Peller (starred in Wendy’s ads) as timekeeper and Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus and Dallas Cowboy Too Tall Jones as guest referees.

Battle Royal

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, John Studd, Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

I’m not going to bother listing off who most of these wrestlers are because most of them aren’t going to mean a thing here. As you can see, the NFL players are a bit outnumbered. Ernie Ladd, former football star and future WWE Hall of Famer, joins commentary in a smart move. It’s a wild brawl to start as is often the case in a battle royal. Covert saves Perry from elimination but is put out along with King Tonga a few seconds later.

Francis thinks it’s a good idea to go after Andre and only barely slides back in from the apron. Bruno dumps Holmes out and it’s Andre vs. Studd to a nice reaction. Someone eliminates Brunzell and the ring is starting to clean out a bit. Perry tosses Atlas to a BIG pop and then goes to fight with Studd. Morales and Martin go out at the same time and nearly get in a fight at ringside.

Arcidi is put out and Spivey is gone a few seconds later. There go Hillbilly Jim and Blair, followed by Fralic a few seconds later. Sammartino throws out the Sheik and we’re down to Andre, Francis, Studd, Sammartino, Hart, Neidhart and Perry. Things can finally slow down after several minutes of just random eliminations. Studd tosses Bruno and actually puts Andre down in the corner.

Perry EXPLODES at the Hart Foundation and knocks them out to the apron. The fans are all excited but Perry charges into Studd’s elbow and gets hiptossed out. Perry offers a handshake but suckers Studd in by pulling him out to the floor to get the people going all over again. Francis tries to fight the Harts by himself but eats a headbutt from Andre. A double dropkick ties Andre up in the ropes and Francis is easily tossed out.

So it’s Andre, Neidhart and Hart and I don’t see this going well for the normal sized guys. Andre kicks both of them out of the corner, grabs Neidhart by the beard, kicks him in the face and puts him out. Bret tries to come in off the top and gets tossed out with ease to give Andre the win at 9:03.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here and they made no secret of the fact that Andre was the obvious winner. The football players were really just a novelty so you could have a battle royal without looking like it was an easy way to get people on the card. They kept this short and to the point which helps things out quite a bit. Perry got the crowd going and Andre winning was the right call so no one is hurt here.

Back in New York, Piper says Mr. T. and William Perry are both cheaters. Piper denies cheating by shoving the referee.

Covert says he got cheated when someone jumped him from behind.

Iron Sheik says he proved wrestling is tougher than football.

We recap the end of the battle royal.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine and are defending. The Bulldogs are Davey Boy Smith (also known as the British Bulldog) and Dynamite Kid, who are managed by Lou Albano and have Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for no apparent reason. Even Gorilla doesn’t seem to know why he’s out there. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey cranking on the arm.

It’s quickly off to Dynamite as things speed up, including a big shoulder to knock Valentine into the corner. Greg comes back with a suplex but Smith comes in to scare Valentine out to the floor. Back in and Valentin gets in a headbutt to the ribs and tags out to Beefcake for the first time. Beefcake is quickly press slammed and it’s back to Dynamite for a hard clothesline.

Brutus finally drags Davey off to the corner and makes the tag off to Greg, who comes in off the top with a forearm to the back. That’s some good heel tag team work and it’s as successful as always. Dynamite comes in anyway though and it’s time for some hard forearms and shoulders in the corner. A backbreaker gets two on Valentine with Brutus having to make the save. It’s not often that you see a tag match stay even this long but this was before the Rock and Roll Express vs. Midnight Express had created the classic tag team formula.

Valentine comes back with a piledriver (where he picked him up for a traditional version but kneeled forward like a tombstone) for two but he crotches himself on the Kid’s knees. Everything breaks down and the powerslam plants Valentine for two. Davey misses a charge into the post though and the champs start in on the arm.

A hammerlock slam and a top rope elbow onto the shoulder have Davey in even more trouble and Valentine gets two off a shoulder breaker. For some reason he pulls Smith up at two and Okerlund thinks it’s going to come back and haunt him. As he says this, Dynamite gets on the middle rope and sticks his head out. Smith rams Valentine head first into the Kid’s head, knocking Dynamite down onto the floor but knocking Greg out cold for the pin and the titles at 12:03.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with Dynamite taking one heck of a bump to end the match. The Bulldogs were a great team and they definitely deserved the titles and they did it in a tag match that went completely against the common tag team formula. Unfortunately it felt like it was much more about a way to get Osbourne on screen, which is only going to get worse.

Albano and Osbourne celebrate as the Bulldogs remember what planet they’re on. Kid can’t talk or stand as he’s still recovering from having being knocked off the middle rope and down onto the floor with no one to catch him. That’s a scary bump and it’s no shock that his body gave out on him so soon after this.

Vince and Susan talk about the title change and preview the main event.

The Los Angeles announcers (Jesse Ventura, Elvira, Lord Alfred Hayes) preview their section of the card.

Hercules Hernandez vs. Ricky Steamboat

Hernandez is better known simply as Hercules and is a big power guy as you would expect. Hercules jumps him from behind to start but Ricky comes back with a big chop. It’s time for the armdrags from Steamboat and he cranks on an armbar as is so often his custom. Back up and an elbow to the jaw drops Hercules and it’s off to the arm again. Hercules finally realizes that his name is Hercules and clotheslines Ricky’s head off before driving some hard knees into the side of his head.

There’s a Stun Gun for no cover as Elvira is proving to be the most worthless commentator of all time as she just babbles about how she’s never seen anything like this before. Hercules returns the back elbow to the jaw and gorilla presses Ricky twice in a row. Ricky raises his knees to stop a top rope splash (way out of character for Hercules) and finishes with the high cross body at 7:34.

Rating: D+. This was a standard power vs. speed match which could have been worse but still wasn’t anything worth seeing. Hernandez was a one dimensional wrestler which made him a good foil for someone like Steamboat who could mix up his offense enough to figure out a way around the power. It’s a fine match but really nothing out of the ordinary.

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is a flamboyant guy in a pink dress and make-up while Elmer is a 400+lb hillbilly. They’re not exactly going with the high brow ideas here. Elmer attacks to start and sends Adrian to the floor with a single forearm. Adrian rips the ring skirt off and manager Jimmy Hart is beside himself. Elmer pulls Adonis to the apron and starts ripping off the dress. You knew they were going here eventually. A big punch to Elmer’s chest puts him down and Adonis takes off the dress to reveal regular trunks. Elmer comes back with a corner splash but he misses a legdrop, allowing Adonis to drop a top rope headbutt/splash for the pin at 3:04.

Rating: F. This is the kind of stuff I can’t stand in wrestling. Adonis and Elmer are two of the most basic, stereotypical characters they could have put together and it looks stupid. This catered to the lowest common denominator and that’s never the kind of wrestling you want to have. It doesn’t help that the match was awful.

Adonis puts a bow on Elmer’s back.

Hogan is ready to step inside a cage with King Kong Bundy after Bundy damaged his ribs a few months ago. All Hogan wants is for Bobby Heenan to try to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

The Funks are Terry/Hoss (better known as Dory Jr.) and they’re managed by Jimmy Hart. Dog and Hoss get things going but Terry is quickly dragged inside so Dog can slam both brothers. Things settle down to Tito vs. Terry but both Funks are quickly dropkicked out to the floor. Back in again and it’s Dog ramming Terry’s face into the buckle several times as this has been one sided so far. It’s off to Dory vs. Tito with the Funks finally taking over but Tito comes back with the flying forearm for two.

Terry sends him out to the floor for some stomps from Hart and Elvira rants about how Hart needs to be ejected, sounding like someone who has never watched wrestling in her life. Back in and Tito reverses a suplex into one of his own as Elvira wants some trunks ripped off. Terry misses a legdrop and it’s off to the Dog for more headbutts. House is cleaned and Terry gets backdropped over the top. Dog slams him onto a table and busts up Terry’s leg. Everything breaks down and Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin at 11:43.

Rating: B-. Fun match here with the Funks working very well together against the always entertaining Tito and the always charismatic Dog. It seemed that they were setting the Funks up as a potential challenge to the Bulldogs but they wouldn’t be around long. This was a nice tag match though and one of the best things on the card.

The announcers have an awkward chat as the cage is assembled.

To fill in some more time, we see King Kong Bundy attacking Hogan on a Saturday Night’s Main Event and injuring the champ’s ribs to set this up. It’s really not much of a storyline and it was only set up about a month in advance. With the talent they had on the roster (Savage, Roberts and Piper), this really is a questionable opponent for Hogan.

The doctor has recommended that Hogan doesn’t wrestle. As his ribs are being taped, Hogan puts a 100lb dumbbell around his neck and does chin-ups.

Bobby Heenan talks about how important a day this is for him because he’s going to get to pack the World Title in Bundy’s suitcase tonight. Bundy promises to send Hogan to the hospital all over again.

In New York, Susan St. James picks Hogan.

Time for the celebrities. Los Angeles Dodgers manager Tommy Lasorda is guest ring announcer, actor Ricky Schroder is timekeeper and Robert Conrad is outside referee, meaning he won’t be doing much of anything.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Hogan is defending inside a cage (the big blue one in one of its earliest, if not the earliest, appearances) of course. Big pop for the champ as you would expect. They slug it out to start with Hogan knocking him into the ropes and nailing the big boot early on. This has already gone on longer than Bundy’s match last year. Hogan fires off a forearm in the corner which I don’t think I’ve ever seen him use before.

Bundy can’t ram him into the cage so he FINALLY goes after the taped up ribs. He slams Hogan to the mat and steps on his head as we go to an overhead shot. Hulk has to dive across the ring to keep Bundy from getting out so Bundy rams him back first into the cage. There goes the tape and Elvira is happy about more clothes coming off. Bundy chokes with the tape. Elvira: “He can’t do that can he?” Ventura is clearly getting annoyed at having to explain basic concepts like “there are no rules” to her over and over.

Hogan comes back with more right hands and sends Bundy face first into the cage to bust him open. Bundy gets choked on the ropes but Hogan, ever the moron, falls backwards trying a slam. That’s still not enough though as Hogan chokes with the tape, only to eat the big splashes that busted up the ribs in the first place.

We get the Hogan “fish out of the water” shaking but he still gets over to save the title again. Hogan gets all fired up again and powerslams Bundy (that’s very rare as it’s almost always a regular slam) before kicking him out of the corner. Heenan’s save fails miserable and Hogan climbs down (Elvira: “All right he’s gonna win!”) to retain at 10:18.

Rating: D+. It’s not a good match and Elvira made it insufferable but Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s is as much of a layup as you’re going to find in these early years. Bundy might have been considered a bigger threat back in the day but this felt like any given house show loop and a match that these two probably had a few dozen times around the country.

Hogan beats up Heenan and poses to end the show as Vince wraps it up from New York.

Overall Rating: D. There’s no way around it: this is one of the worst Wrestlemanias of all time. That being said, I always give this one a bit of a pass as they had no idea what they had with Wrestlemania or even pay per view in general. This felt like a bunch of house shows clipped down and edited together into one big one and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. Hogan vs. Bundy is a very run of the mill main event but some of the tag matches are entertaining enough. The match is far more dull and lame than bad, but that doesn’t make it something fun to watch.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Velvet McIntyre vs. Fabulous Moolah

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Uncle Elmer vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: F

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Terry Funk/Hoss Funk

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Wrestlemania II is….weird. Like, really weird.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/11/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-ii-three-times-the-suck/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania II
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, New York City, New York/Rosemont Horizon, Chicago, Illinois/Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,585 (New York), 9,000 (Chicago), 14,500 (Los Angeles), 40,085 (Total)
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Susan St. James, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Cathy Lee Crosby, Alfred Hayes, Jesse Ventura, Elvira

This is one of those ideas that they tried once and only once before never thinking about doing it again. After the success of Wrestlemania, the idea was that Wrestlemania 2 had to be bigger, so Vince came up with the idea of splitting it into three cities. This show is widely considered to be one of if not the worst Wrestlemania of all time and with main events such as Piper vs. Mr. T. in a boxing match and Hogan vs. Bundy in a cage it’s not hard to see why. Let’s get to it.

This is on a Monday for some reason.

This was a tape I watched to death back when I was a kid so the theme music for this brings a smile to my face.

Vince opens things up in New York and introduces Susan St. James, a popular actress of the day, to be his co-commentator.

Ray Charles sings America the Beautiful.

Gene is in Chicago and welcomes us to the city for later on.

Roddy Piper and his trainer for the fight Lou Duva (famous boxing trainer) say Piper is ready. Piper promises to quit wrestling and boxing if he gets knocked out. He’ll also quick playing tiddlywinks and dating girls, but he’ll stick with Bob Orton of course. Those two spent WAY too much time together.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

This is fallout from the main event of Mania last year as Orndorff turned face due to Piper and Orton leaving him behind. Muraco is an associate of Piper so this is kind of a proxy feud for Paul. Muraco has Fuji with him too. Both guys say they’ll win in a voiceover as the match starts. Paul slams Muraco down to start and the crowd is already hot. Orndorff makes a slant eyes face at Fuji which today would get him thrown out of the company. In 1986, he was making $20,000 a week later in the year. It’s funny how times change.

Paul takes him down to the mat with an armbar as Susan St. James clearly has no idea what’s going on. She’s trying but this isn’t something she knows about at all it would seem. Paul cranks on a wristlock before going back down to the armbar. Susan: “He looks like he’s using some ancient Chinese techniques”. Uh…yeah. Muraco finally escapes and sends Paul into the corner, only to have Orndorff go off on him as they brawl to the floor. In something you won’t ever hear again I don’t think, the opening match of Wrestlemania goes to a double countout. The fans chant some expletives.

Rating: D. What do you want here? The match is four minutes long and ends in a double countout. It was hot while it lasted, but the problem is that it didn’t last long enough at all. This was a pretty big feud and it gets a four minute match? That’s all they can spare these guys? Orndorff would have a MEGA heel turn later in the summer which would eventually draw 74,000 people to an outdoor show in Toronto. That’s some drawing power.

Mr. T. says he doesn’t like to do a lot of talking before a fight before proceeding to talk more in 30 seconds than Goldberg said in his entire career. To show you the production values, he’s drowned out by Fink announcing the results of the previous match.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

This was a pretty big feud that also wound up meaning a lot more the next year than it does here. The basic idea is that George is in love with Liz and doesn’t like how Savage treats her. There’s a great angle right there that hasn’t been used in a LONG time (Punk/AJ/Bryan isn’t the same thing). Savage in an inset interview babbles as only Savage can without saying anything of note.

Steele does a freaky kind of dance and Savage immediately bails to the floor. That works so well that they do it again and make it three times until FINALLY George chases after him. Steele catches Savage going back in and bites his calf before they head back in. Randy hits a running knee to the chest but Steele easily lifts him into the air and chokes him down. George gets caught looking at Liz though and is tied up in the ropes so Savage pounds away.

A top rope cross body gets two for the champ (Savage in case you’re really young) and Steele throws him to the floor. Randy slips under the ring and sneaks up on George, only to get bitten on the arm. Savage goes to the floor and finds….a bouquet of flowers? George shoves them into Randy’s face before going to eat a turnbuckle (don’t ask).

The stuffing goes into Savage’s face but Steele AGAIN gets distracted by Liz, allowing Savage to hit the ax handle to the back. Back in and Savage hits the slam and elbow for two. Wait what? This is 1986 and the SAVAGE ELBOW only gets two? Steele grabs Savage by the face and sends him into the corner, only to get tripped up and pinned with the feet on the ropes to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where your individual taste is going to vary a lot. On one hand, it’s a comedy match but not an incredibly funny one, while on the other hand it’s terrible from a wrestling perspective. On the other hand, you have three hands and should see a surgeon immediately. The point is this wasn’t much of a match and never would have made it onto a modern Mania card. Of course it wouldn’t; the Intercontinental Title doesn’t exist around Wrestlemania time. Also, of all the people in the WWF, GEORGE STEELE gets to kick out of the elbow? REALLY? This was fun for the goofiness if nothing else.

Savage and Liz immediately bail so Steele eats another buckle.

Bill Fralic (a football player) and Big John Studd are both in a battle royal later today and they talk some trash, once again being drowned out by Fink.

Vince asks Susan if she likes snakes. Make your own jokes.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Wells is a former football player who never did another thing of note in wrestling other than be in this match. Jake is brand new at this point and is promptly run over and backdropped down in the first ten seconds. A flying shoulder takes Jake down and there’s a headbutt for good measure. Wells hits a decent flying headscissors followed by a slam for no cover. A knee lift has Jake draped in the ropes and a powerslam gets two. Roberts comes back with a poke to the eyes and a knee lift followed by the DDT for the fast pin. This was pretty much domination until the last ten seconds.

Jake wraps George up in the snake post match and makes Wells foam at the mouth.

We recap Piper vs. T which is allegedly based on a boxing match that happened in Phoenix, as apparently we’re ignoring ALL of the stuff from last year that set up the first Wrestlemania.

Hogan predicts T to win and says his ribs will be fine in the cage tonight.

We introduce the “celebrities.” First up is Joan Rivers as guest ring announcer, Darryl Dawkins, Cab Calloway and G. Gordon Liddy as guest judges and Herb from Burger King commercials (you won’t remember him) is guest timekeeper.

Roddy Piper vs. Mr. T.

This is a boxing match with ten three minute rounds. T has Joe Frazier as his trainer and the Haiti Kid to counter Orton. Piper is the aggressor to start as Vince calls T’s defensive stance a peek-a-boo style. Roddy grabs on the ropes and T fires away some body shots. These rounds might only be two minutes rounds. Piper takes him into the corner but T bobs and weaves before popping Roddy in the face a few times. It turns into another brawl on the ropes for the last thirty seconds or so of the round.

Everyone comes in to break up the brawl and we take a break between rounds. T gets in a few shots to the face to open round 2 but Piper apparently has a bunch of goo on his face. There’s an Orton/Piper joke in there somewhere. After the face gets cleaned off Piper starts pounding away and T is in trouble. I’ll change the numbers again because the rounds are indeed three minutes long. Piper gets him into the corner and pounds away, dropping him with a pair of shots to the head after about seven shots that missed BADLY. That gets an eight count and round 2 ends with T going down just after the bell.

Piper gets in a few cheap shots after the bell because that’s the kind of guy he is. We start round 3 with T firing away but they’re clearly getting tired. Piper goes down in his corner but pulls himself up before the count. T pounds him right back down in the corner and this time gets a seven count. This turns into move of a shoving match until T gets in a right hand to knock Piper out of the ring and out to the floor. Round 3 ends with nothing of note going on.

T talks trash in between rounds so Piper throws his stool across the ring as round 4 begins. They slug it out with T finally taking over. Piper DRILLS him with a right hand that knocks T’s mouthpiece out. T comes back with the same kind of a punch….and then Piper shoves the referee down and slams T for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was one of those things that everyone knew was going to be a disaster and the best chance they had was to make it goofy. Thankfully we’re talking about Roddy Piper in the 80s so you know he can bring the goofy. There were some decent punches in here but like all other wrestling boxing matches, you knew it would end with some sort of a DQ. This was pretty much it for Mr. T in the WWF other than a few cameos later on.

Off to Chicago!

Gene and Gorilla bring in Kathy Lee Crosby to do commentary.

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Moolah is defending of course and hits about five hair mares in a row to start things off. Velvet comes back with some one footed dropkicks before going up and missing a splash for Moolah to get the pin. This barely lasted 90 seconds which may have been due to McIntyre’s outfit breaking when she came off the ropes.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Gene takes over the ring announcing for the NFL/WWF battle royal. There are six football players and fourteen wrestlers. Dick Butkus is a guest referee.

Battle Royal

NFL: Jimbo Covert, Harvey Martin, Ernie Holmes, Bill Fralic, Russ Francis, William Perry

WWF: Pedro Morales, Tony Atlas, Ted Arcidi, Dan Spivey, Hillbilly Jim, King Tonga, Iron Sheik, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Big John Studd, Bruno Sammartino, Jim Neidhart, Bret Hart

Perry is the hometown boy but once they said Andre’s name there was little doubt as to who was winning. Ernie Ladd jumps in on commentary as a former wrestler and football player. Andre chills in the corner and beats up anyone that comes near him. Perry gets ganged up on a few times in the corner but fights them off as Covert and Tonga go out. Francis goes after Andre like a crazy man and Holmes is gone.

The two giants go at it for a bit and Brunzell is gone. There’s never much to talk about in battle royals as most of it is just a bunch of brawls and the occasional elimination like Atlas going out here. Studd beats up Perry in the corner as Martin and Morales put each other out. Arcidi loads up Blair but Bruno makes the save for some reason. Not that it matters though as Arcidi is put out just a few seconds later. Spivey is gone as are Blair and Hillbilly. We’re down to about eight or so.

Fralic is dumped out by a bunch of people and Bruno backdrops Sheik out. Studd dumps Bruno and we’re down to Andre, Studd, Francis, Perry and the Harts. Perry shrugs off both Harts and sends them to the apron for the biggest pop of the night. He starts firing off tackles at Studd before running into an elbow for the elimination. Perry offers a handshake but pulls Studd out to the floor to another big pop. The Harts get Andre tied in the ropes and easily dump Francis. They pound away on Andre a bit but the big man is like dude please. He grabs Neidhart by the beard and kicks him out before tossing Bret on Anvil to win.

Rating: D. This was another pretty lame match with the football players not being able to do much due to not being wrestlers. Perry was incredibly popular and got a great reaction from the crowd, but other than him the NFL guys didn’t add anything at all here. Andre winning was the only logical choice and there’s not much else to say here.

Vince and Susan talk to Piper in New York and of course he says he’s awesome and didn’t lose at all.

Back in Chicago Jimbo Covert says he got cheated by Fralic. Iron Sheik says he’s proven wrestlers are better than football players.

We look at the end of the battle royal again.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

Both sets of announcers talk about the title change. I’ll give the female celebrities this: they sound like they’re enjoying themselves and they’re trying at least.

Off to Los Angeles.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

We hit the stereotypes now the gay character vs. the hillbilly character. Elmer, weighing roughly 450lbs, runs off Adonis and Jimmy Hart before the match and we get a good shot of Adrian’s pink dress. We finally get inside and Elmer starts pounding away before sending Adonis into the corner for a Flair Flip. Adrian gets sent into the corner two more times in a row with the second time landing him on the floor. Back in and there goes the dress as Adrian gets tied up in the ropes. A single punch to the chest puts Elmer down but he comes back with a corner splash, only to miss the big leg drop. A top rope headbutt gives Adrian a pin.

Rating: D-. What are you expecting here? We’ve got REALLY basic gimmicks (although Adonis wasn’t bad in his day) in a three minute match involving a man wearing a dress. This is what you call filler, albeit terrible filler. Elmer wouldn’t ever really do much in the WWF but he was a pretty big deal in the indies.

Adonis puts a flower on Elmer’s back post match.

We get Hogan’s second promo of the show with him saying he’s ready for Bundy and he begs Heenan to get involved.

Funk Brothers vs. Junkyard Dog vs. Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana

It’s Terry and Hoss here, with the latter being more famous as Dory Jr. Hoss and Dog start things off with JYD sending one Funk into another and slamming them both down before the Funks head to the floor for a breather. Off to Tito vs. Terry for a bit now and it’s a short bit as Terry gets clotheslined to the floor. Hoss takes a dropkick to send him out to be with his brother and the heels huddle on the floor again. Oh and they have Jimmy Hart too.

Back to the Dog vs.. Terry and they slug it out with Dog taking over. JYD rams Terry into the buckle so many times that the pad starts to come off. Terry gets thrown to the unpadded floor yet again and it’s back to Hoss. Tito comes in as well and Hoss fires off the famous Funk forearms. Speaking of forearms, the flying variety takes Hoss down and the Funks head to the floor again.

Hoss gets back in for a crisscross with Terry hitting Tito in the back with a knee to take over. Tito gets knocked to the floor and JYD has to chase Jimmy off a few times before throwing Santana back in. Terry gets two off a suplex and argues with the referee a bit before getting suplexed himself. They hit the ropes and collide but Terry falls into his own corner to bring in Hoss. The Funks hit a double clothesline which gets two for Terry who is getting frustrated.

Santana finally slides between Terry’s legs and makes the hot tag to JYD. We prove we’re in the 80s with a double noggin knocker to both of the Funks and a punch sends Hoss to the outside. Terry has a rope from somewhere as everything breaks down. JYD throws Terry to the floor and slams him on a table for good measure. Terry’s knee is hurt and he can’t stand up but he gets back inside anyway as Jimmy gets decked. Everything breaks down again and Tito puts Hoss in the Figure Four but Terry blasts Dog in the head with the megaphone for the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve said before that the 1980s were the best era ever for tag wrestling and this show proves it again. Most of the show hasn’t been all that great but the tag matches have been by far the best matches on the card. This was a fun and WILD match but not to the point where you couldn’t keep track of what was going on. Good stuff here and after two boring matches in the LA section this was a good match to pick things up.

We set up the cage, which is the big blue kind for the first time ever.

Hogan is lifting weights with bad ribs and we recap Hogan vs. Bundy. On SNME, Hogan defended the title against Don Muraco and after the match, Bundy ran in and destroyed Hogan with a bunch of splashes to injure the ribs. The doctor says Hogan shouldn’t be doing this, so Hulk does chinups with a 100lb weight around his neck.

Heenan and Bundy say they’re going to take the title from Hogan.

Elvira sends it to New York for comments from Susan and Vince.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Escape only here, as it should be. Tommy Lasorda of the LA Dodgers is guest ring announcer. Ricky Schroder, a child actor, is guest timekeeper and Robert Conrad, an adult actor, is guest referee. Hogan starts firing off right hands to start and knocks Bundy into the cage before choking Bundy with his own singlet. The following clothesline in the corner has Bundy in even more trouble and a forearm to the head staggers him even more. All Hogan so far.

Both guys block shots into the cage but King goes to the ribs to stop Hogan cold. There’s a slam to mess with the ribs even more and Bundy goes for the door. You know it’s not ending that fast though so Bundy comes back to choke with the tape a bit. Another attempt to escape goes about as well and Hulk comes back with an elbow in the corner. Bundy gets rammed into the cage to bust him open and Hogan rakes his back a bit. More cage ramming occurs and Hulk climbs to the top to choke away on the ropes.

Hogan goes for the slam but Bundy falls down onto him as you would expect him to. Bundy goes to the door but Hulk grabs him for some choking with the rib tape. The Avalanche splash hits in the corner and a regular one hits as well so Hogan can shake like a fish. Hogan dives to stop Bundy from getting out but takes another Avalanche….with no effect whatsoever. The champion busts out a powerslam of all things and easily climbs out to retain.

Rating: D. It’s Hogan vs. a monster in 1986 so what in the world were you expecting to see here? At the end of the day this was the safe move but with all of the other heels on the roster, this is the best they could come up with? I mean, you have Savage, Piper or even Roberts to be in there, but you pick Bundy? It’s not like this was some huge feud as the SNME that set this up was five weeks before this show. I’ve heard that Vince was trying desperately to get Nikita Koloff to jump and be in the main event but when they fell through, they picked a monster instead. Eh when all else fails, go with the safe pick.

Hogan beats up Heenan to close the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is a tough one to grade for the same reason that I don’t consider it the worst Mania ever: it was the second one and they had NO idea what they were doing here. The main thing that helps this show is that while most of the matches are worthless, they’re FAST. Of all the non-tag matches, only the cage match and the boxing match break ten minutes and the cage match does so by about 15 seconds. It’s certainly not a good show and if this happened today Vince would be jumping off a building, but for its time this wasn’t completely terrible.

Ratings Comparison

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Savage vs. George Steele

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

Original: F

Redo: D+

Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper

Original: F

Redo: D

Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Corporal Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D-

Redo: N/A

Battle Royal

Original: B

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Dream Team

Original: B-

Redo: B

Rick Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Original: N/A

Redo: D-

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

Original: B-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Dang those must have been the strong rose colored glasses back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/09/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-2-what-the-hell-were-they-thinking/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania 2
Date: April 7, 1986
Location: Nassau Coliseum-New York, Rosemont Horizon-Chicago, Illinois, Sports Arena-Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 40,085 combined for all three venues
Commentators: New York – Vince McMahon, Susan St. James. Chicago – Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund, Cathy Lee Crosby, Ernie Ladd. Los Angeles – Jesse Ventura, Alfred Hayes, Elvira
America The Beautiful: Ray Charles

This show is the classic what the heck were thinking moment from the WWF. They had made Wrestlemania the year before and they hit it so far out of the park that by the time it was Wrestlemania 2 the ball hadn’t come down yet. This was a problem though. Since the inaugural show had been such a success, Vince felt they had to do something to top it. This was his idea: what if we did Wrestlemania from 3 different places??? Think about that for a minute. How weird would that be?

Not to mention, Vince had another idea: let’s put it on a Monday! Again, just awkward sounding. The format used was three locations, each with an undercard and then a featured match, which were a boxing match, a battle royal, and the true main event, Hulk Hogan against King Kong Bundy in a steel cage.

The idea was odd on paper and worse in reality as it felt like watching three shows instead of one. There’s no rhythm and because it was in three locations, announcers were a rare commodity. Due to this, Vince’s last idea was to put a real commentator together with celebrities to do the commentary. What followed might be the biggest mess in company history.

Paul Orndorff vs. Don Muraco

We begin the show in New York City with Paul Orndorff against Don Muraco. Why are they fighting? I don’t have a freaking clue but they are so here we go. As they begin we hear comments from both and neither have anything to say of meaning.

Orndorff is easily the face here so if he never accomplished anything else in his career, the face turn between Manias one and two was effective. As was predicted, the celebrity commentator is atrocious, with such gems like “I think he’s winning!” Orndorff controls the early part of the match but Muraco breaks it up with some power. They roll outside and we get a double count out as the crowd clearly can be heard chanting bull.

Rating: D+. Fine for what it was, but the fans got it right with their chants. This is the opening match to Wrestlemania? Seriously? That’s the best they could come up with? This feud more or less never went anywhere at all as Orndorff was about to get the biggest push of his career by far, resulting in him making about $20,000 a week for awhile. This was just an odd choice for an opening match but then again this was an odd choice for a show so I guess it fits.

Intercontinental Title: George Steele vs. Randy Savage

Next up the intercontinental title is on the line as Randy Savage defends against George Steele. This is a match that I can’t find a standalone version of so I can’t put this one in here. However, this was another chapter in the over year long feud between these two. Savage had been allegedly mistreating Liz and Steele had developed a crush on her. That led to, what else, Savage being jealous and a 15 month feud began.

Mega stall from Savage to start as he seems afraid of Steele. Savage runs again and finally on the third time Steele goes after him. They finally lock up and Steele beats Savage up for a while with power moves and biting but Steele keeps going to talk to Liz. This was a weird period for Savage as they knew they had a gem with him but they didn’t know what to do with him. Yeah he was the IC champion, but where did they go with him from there?

This was all they had until the next year when he and Steamboat stole the show and Savage was launched into the main event. For some reason Savage has a bouquet of flowers that he and Steele try to beat each other up with. After ripping apart a turnbuckle and eating the stuffing (not making that up) Steele gets slammed and elbowed, but he kicks out?

Yes, George Steele is the first man to kick out of the elbow, and he pops up, beats on Savage some more and then gets rolled up and Savage uses the ropes to pin him. Steele eats more stuffing.

Rating: C-. This was a comedy match I think with wrestling mixed in. Savage is the highlight here as he sells like crazy for Steele and it helps a lot. These two had this freaky chemistry that no one has ever been able to really figure out. They would feud on and off for the next year before FINALLY ending it with the return of Ricky Steamboat for that whole greatest match of all time thing he and Savage would have next year.

Jake Roberts vs. George Wells

We follow up that strange match with another somewhat strange match as Jake Roberts, still a rookie here, takes on some guy named George Wells. This match is little more than a glorified squash. Wells dominates early but doesn’t go for a pin when he has the chance. Jake recovers and DDTs him to win the match. Afterwards he unleashes Damien who causes Wells to look like he’s foaming at the mouth.

Rating: D+. Talk about a weird choice to have on Wrestlemania. Jake was brand new at this point so they needed someone to make him look good and they pick….George Wells? There was a squash on Mania for the first two years and both times they were the least interesting match on the card. I don’t get the selection here for the most part and it’s pretty bad all things considered.

Boxing Match: Mr. T vs. Roddy Piper

We now move onto the main event of the New York portion of the show: a boxing match with Roddy Piper and Mr. T. This was built up on SNME about 2 months before hand with Mr. T. beating Piper’s friend Bob Orton in a boxing match before being beaten down by both of them. That came on from what started over a year ago in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, so this truly was a showdown that had been built up for ages.

Factor in that T had been the World Boxing Champion in Rocky 3 just a few years ago and was on a top rated TV show where he was a tough guy. Both men have famous trainers in their corners to make it look more legit. For no apparent reason Joan Rivers does the ring announcing. This is ten three minute rounds. She introduces Orton as the Ace Comedy Bob Orvin. Nice job of handling the reading thing honey.

They actually got Smoking Joe Frazier to be in T’s corner. One of the biggest stars in Hollywood has in his corner a former world heavyweight champion who had three of the best boxing matches in history with Muhammad Ali. He also has a midget. Well of course he does. They treat this like a real boxing match. Oh dear.

T goes for the ribs which doesn’t work all that well for him. Piper hits him on the break which is illegal of course. There has been no mention of judges or anything like that so I guess this is destined to not go the distance. The referee has broken them up about four times now. I think these are three minute rounds. For the most part these punches aren’t landing at all but they sell them anyway of course.

It’s not so much boxing but rather glorified grappling with the occasional punch thrown. The fans are more or less dead if you didn’t guess that. After the first round nothing has really happened. Piper has a bunch of grease on his face for the second round which is keeping the punches from T from being effective.

This is painfully boring if I didn’t make that clear so far. Piper knocks the heck out of T with some big roundhouses and finally drops him to huge cheers because something HAPPENED for a change. The knockdown gets a count of 8. Piper keeps pounding on him as round two ends. They brawl a bit during the break and Orton throws water at T.

Piper does the Ali Shuffle to start the third round. T gets him into the corner and pounds away with more or less open hand shots to the head and Piper is in trouble. That gets a count of 7. T gets a huge punch that I think hit so of course Piper is knocked to the floor. He gets up at 9 and then holds onto T for the last 25 seconds of the fight.

They just trade big bombs to start the fourth round. And then he punches the referee and slams T for the DQ about a minute into the fourth round. It’s a bit brawl and T of course gets the win. Was there a reason for both that ending and also having Piper dominate a round like that? This was awful.

Rating: F. On WRESTLEmania they had a long boxing match. This was just boring beyond belief and the boxing looked awful. They tried to make this seem legit and it failed on more than all levels. T was never seen again and Piper turned face relatively soon after taking time off for knee surgery. Boring match and awful beyond belief.

Chicago

Women’s Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Velvet McIntyre

We start with the Women’s Title on the line as Moolah defends against Velvet McIntyre. This match is just weird. Moolah dominates, Velvet comes back and then misses a splash allowing Moolah to pin her. It screams botched finish to me as even the announcers seem surprised.

Rating: N/A. Just was nothing at all and might have gone a minute. Little to rate here so I won’t even try to.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

Now we have a flag match with Nikolai Volkoff against the forgotten Corporal Kirschner. Yeah I don’t remember him either. The winner gets to have their flag waved. Other than that it’s a standard one on one match. As usual, Nikolai sings the Russian National Anthem before the match starts. Nikolai dominates early on, ramming Kirschner into the post twice and busting him open. I kid you not, Kirschner lands 7 right hands, catches Freddy Blassie’s cane and hits Nikolai with it to win the match.

Rating: D-. This was supposed to be a brawl but it was a bad match. 7 punches and a cane shot? Give me a break. Kirschner is apparently one of the most legit tough guys in the history of the business and got thrown out of most major companies for being too rough. Based on this and his match at the Wrestling Classic I’d assume it’s due to a high level of suck but that’s just me. This was just barely long enough to warrant a rating and it wasn’t any good at all.

Battle Royal

Now we get the most famous match from this show: a 20 man battle royal with ten pro football players and 10 wrestlers. This is going to go GREAT. Since most of you won’t know half the people in this I’m not going to list them all until the end. The big names are a still rookie Bret Hart, Andre the Giant, Big John Studd and Bruno Sammartino. For the most part this is a run of the mill battle royal.

It’s little more than a bunch of punching and kicking against the ropes as we get down to the big names. Oddly enough the celebrity commentator is the only one that gets anything right. Gorilla says stuff like Studd has this guy in the corner when they’re almost in the middle of the ring, or Ernie Ladd who was a wrestler saying no one wants Andre when he’s beating someone up. Amazing.

The only really famous thing in this match is a football player named William the Refrigerator Perry getting eliminated by Studd but then offering a handshake and eliminating him. The Iron Sheik eliminates Hillbilly Jim just as he would in the gimmick battle royal 15 years later at WM 17. The final four are the Hart Foundation, a football player and Andre. Do I need to really give the details on this? Andre beats up the Harts to win the match after launching Bret out in a press slam.

Rating: B. It’s a bunch of football players and 80s wrestlers with a few great workers. Nothing special, but considering what they had to work with this is just fine. The football stuff didn’t lead anywhere which is kind of surprising as they set up a Fridge vs. Studd thing that never happened at all that I know of. This was just ok and at least the right guy won it. Andre would of course be in the biggest match of all time the next year.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. The Dream Team

Now we have what is likely the best match of the whole show. It’s a classic 80s tag match with the British Bulldogs, and Ozzy Osbourne in their corner for God alone knows why to face the tag team champions of the Dream Team Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine. You can tell they’re serious here as this has a sixty minute time limit.

The ring looks small here for some reason. Gorilla asks why Ozzy is there too which means he’s confused like I am. There are two referees here which I doubt will mean anything for the most part. Smith vs. Valentine to get up. The ring is all loud here still.

The Bulldogs were so fast with those tags and this is no exception at all. Valentine won’t tag out for no apparent reason. He counters a backdrop though and here’s Beefcake. Small package by Dynamite get two. Fisherman’s suplex by Davey gets two. I guess he’s not perfect. After Davey gets beaten on for a bit Dynamite comes in and slugs it out with Valentine.

The champions cheat a bit and they still can’t take over. I never got the appeal of the Dream Team but to be fair it might be that Brutus was just awful at this point. Valentine gets a Piledriver on Dynamite but falls forward so it kind of looks like a tombstone but with Dynamite’s stomach facing out. That was kind of cool looking.

Bulldogs clear the ring as things speed up a bit. Davey gets the powerslam for two as it wasn’t a finisher but just a signature move at the time. The champions work over Davey as momentum changes hands a lot here tonight. They work over the arm, including with a shoulderbreaker from Valentine.

However he shows his idiocy by pulling Davey up at two. Nice job you lunkhead. And there’s the idiocy coming through as for no apparent reason Dynamite gets on the middle rope and Davey rams Valentine’s head into Kid’s for the knockout shot and falls on Valentine for the pin and the titles. That ending came from NOWHERE and Dynamite is out cold from the shot which is kind of amusing for some reason. That’s Albano’s 16^th title win as a manager. Hokey smoke.

Rating: B-. Fun stuff but the ending was just so freaking random. I don’t get the ending as it was like they looked at the clock and realized they had no time left and were like oh crap we need to finish this. The Bulldogs were a good team and were a huge step up from the Dream Team. They would lose them to the Harts in about 8-9 months so the tag division was starting to roll at this point.

Los Angeles

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

We move to the final and by far the worst of the three locations as we’re now in LA, beginning with Ricky Steamboat against Hercules Hernandez. This was supposed to be Bret vs. Ricky in the big showdown match for Mania. I’m not sure what the showdown would be for since for all intents and purposes they had no feud that I know of but a little face on face action never hurt anyone, even though Bret wasn’t a face at the time so scratch that line.

They start off kind of fast but not fast enough for anything to mean much. This was a different era so matches like these were really commonplace. There’s no feud or anything here and Hercules is just a big power guy that had been given a fairly decent push so he’s getting to fight one of the best guys in the company at one of the biggest shows of the year.

There is almost nothing to say here though as I’ve been watching for a few minutes and nothing has happened at all. Well at least nothing worth talking about that is. Hercules goes for the backbreaker as this is before the Full Nelson made him the original Chris Masters. Relatively standard Steamboat match which means it’s at least passable. Herc is the big powerhouse that beats the tar out of Ricky, makes one mistake and the Dragon makes his comeback. The flying body press ends things as always.

Rating: C-. And that’s almost all for Steamboat. I liked Hercules for some reason but for the life of me I don’t get the point in having him be considered a better prospect than Bret was. This was the epitome of a throwaway match with nothing special at all going on in it and nothing of note to talk about really. I sat there for minutes at a time with nothing of note so I apologize for the most history based match here.

Adrian Adonis vs. Uncle Elmer

Now for the odd match of the night, we have Adrian Adonis, playing a controversial gay gimmick at the time, against Uncle Elmer, a fat hillbilly character. The crowd chants a certain homosexual slur at Adonis to start the match which he prances around the ring to.

This match is slow and mostly painful as the smaller man in the match weighs about 350lbs. When he’s your agile guy, you know this isn’t going anywhere. Elmer punches him and literally falls off his feet from it. Quite sad actually. Adonis has his dress, yes dress ripped off and it’s just hideous. Elmer beats on him some more but misses a leg drop. Adonis hits a top rope headbutt and gets the pin.

Rating: N/A. I never got the appeal of either of these characters and thankfully Elmer wasn’t around much longer. Naturally he got a tape mainly about him and his family because that’s the way the 80s went.

Junkyard Dog/Tito Santana vs. The Funks

In the next to last match of the night, we have the Funks against JYD and Tito Santana. This is another filler match that had no point at all other than two faces against a heel team. This is a much slower paced match as they do more old school stuff in there. Terry vs. Tito starts us off so we’re certainly getting things started off on the right foot here.

You have three guys that belong in the Hall of Fame and JYD who is in there because he was popular in the 80s making him a LEGEND. I still don’t like him but he’s more bearable than some people I can’t stand. This is definitely a different style than most are used to. I’d like a bit more explanation as to why they’re fighting but I think It’s 1986 is about as close as we’re going to get. Tito dominates for the most part here, hammering away on both Funks. He was completely awesome at this point if you didn’t get that.

Off to the Dog now and we get some boxing. A Texas man lost a fight to a dog. Don’t bother going back to Amarillo I guess Terry. Someone please explain the appeal to me of the Dog as I just don’t get it at all and never have. Dory plays Ricky Morton which just sounds wrong and gets beaten on in the corner for a bit. The forearm gets two as I guess Tito didn’t have it perfected yet.

Control shifts over to the crazy men and they beat down Tito for awhile as he’s really playing Ricky Morton. That still sounds wrong. After a few minutes of basic offense from the Funks JYD comes back in and everything goes nuts. Terry is thrown to the floor where there are no mats. He might have legitimately hurt his knee or ankle there and I’m not surprised at all. With the referee not looking, Terry clocks the Dog with the Megaphone (Jimmy was managing them which I forgot to mention) and the heels steal one.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here with the Funks being all evil and the thrown together face team doing whatever they could to get the win. Granted that didn’t happen but at least they tried. This was a better match than I remember it being and while it’s still mainly formula stuff it worked rather well. I liked it and granted three of the guys being all time greats helps a bit.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

This is a cage match and the only one in Mania history if you don’t count the Cell match at Mania 15 which most people don’t. The story behind this is Bundy jumped Hogan at a SNME and hurt his ribs, which hadn’t healed yet. Hogan wrestled against doctor’s orders with tape all over his ribs. Simple but effective but kind of too simple as this was more or less thrown together about a month ago.

This is a very not surprising match with Bundy going for the ribs and Hogan having to fight through the pain. It’s solid because it’s Hogan doing what he does best but the total and complete lack of drama or anyone really caring for the most part is hurting it. Also having Jesse as lead announcer is a very odd choice.

Bundy rips the tape off of Hogan’s ribs like a good heel and Hogan messes up as always by trying to pick Bundy up and of course he can’t do it. There’s nothing special going on here at all but it’s working for the most part. Ah there’s the Hulk Up. Very surprisingly we get a power slam here and not the traditional slam. Maybe his ribs really were hurt. He ties up Bundy and goes over the top to retain and end the show.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan against a monster heel not named Andre. What are you expecting here? This was his bread and butter and the fans popped for the end (only) so I guess you can call this a success. I’m a sucker for Hogan matches in the 80s so I’d say there’s probably some bias in the rating but who cares? Fairly solid match but nothing unique about it at all other than the cage aspect.

Overall rating: C+. While certainly better in the ring than the first Mania and including some storylines this time, the three venues thing is just a mess. There’s really only two or three very good matches here and I’d call maybe the tag title match Mania worthy. Other than that there’s a lot of filler and it’s more or less 1-2 big matches per location with the rest being all filler.

This show suffers from trying to do something that had never been done before, and while they did indeed do that the overlooked one major point: the new thing they did wasn’t a good idea. It’s really not that good of a show overall. Watch the highlights if you want to, but don’t waste three hours watching it from start to end.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

The first Wrestlemania is one of those shows that really doesn’t need an introduction. While it’s really just a very glorified house show, it was clear that there was something special about this show. This is the start of a new way of life in professional wrestling and everything is about to change. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a montage of shots of the matches tonight with the Wrestlemania logo in the middle. Not exactly high thinking stuff but it was a simpler time.

Gorilla (with more hair than you’ll ever see him have) welcomes us to the show and throws it to the Fink who introduces Gene Okerlund to sing the Star Spangled Banner. This is one of the only times it wouldn’t be America the Beautiful. The crowd joins in singing for a nice moment.

Tito Santana says he doesn’t know anything about the Executioner but no one is going to stop him from achieving his goals. Arriba!

The Executioner, a masked man better known as Playboy Buddy Rose (a big star in Portland Wrestling and the AWA who didn’t do much elsewhere), says he’s going after Tito’s leg. So much for secrecy.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

It’s a crisscross to start the first match in Wrestlemania history. Tito quickly fires him out to the floor, followed by a headlock takeover for two back inside. Executioner tries to hide in the corner but it’s not that hard to find someone in a big red mask three feet in front of Santana. Tito follows him in but takes a headbutt to the ribs to give Executioner control.

An awkward looking backdrop puts Tito down as there hasn’t been much of the promised leg work. Maybe Executioner is smarter than he seems and was lying to throw Tito off. Santana slams Executioner off the top but a splash hits knees and now it’s time for the leg. Tito easily kicks him to the floor though and the flying forearm sets up Tito’s Figure Four for the submission at 4:50.

Rating: D+. This was just a squash for Tito as he was trying to get the Intercontinental Title back. Executioner was one of the standard characters of the day who would show up, possibly be played by multiple people on different nights, and rarely win a match. All the announcers had to do was build the masked man up as a threat to the star and go to the match. It’s such a simple idea and that’s all it needed to be.

S.D. Jones, a self described music man, is more than ready for King Kong Bundy on the biggest show ever.

King Kong Bundy promises a splash and a five count.

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Bundy shoves him into the corner and hits a pair of splashes for the pin at 24 seconds. This is billed as nine seconds for a record but it takes nearly double that much time for the first splash to connect. To continue the lying, Bundy only got a three count. How can I ever trust someone like that?

Matt Borne, a pretty generic heel (I mean he wears sunglasses inside. How can he possibly be a good guy?), thinks Ricky Steamboat is just too nice of a guy and needs to get beaten up.

Steamboat says he’s ready but Okerlund talks over him to throw it back to the arena. That’s rather rude of him. Ricky was talking about developing his meanness, a goal he failed to achieve in spectacular fashion.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat is a newcomer and in trunks instead of tights here. Feeling out process to start and a big chop puts Borne down. A headlock has Borne in trouble and a big atomic drop makes him gyrate a bit. The left handed Borne comes back with some shots to the ribs and a hard whip into the corner, only to have Steamboat come back with chops and another headlock. Ricky wins a slugout and drops a knee for two. Back up and the high cross body gives Steamboat the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D+. This could be subtitled “Hi, I’m Ricky Steamboat and I’m a good wrestler.” Borne could have been any other guy and the match would have been the same. Steamboat would take some time to get anywhere but he was one of the smoothest wrestlers of all time and always worth checking out.

As I mentioned earlier, this is really more of a house show than anything else as we haven’t had an important match so far and we’re about twenty five minutes in.

It should be noted that Lord Alfred Hayes is introducing the pre-match interviews (which are all pre-taped from earlier in the day). This time, Steamboat and Borne both have to made sudden shifts to avoid running into Hayes’ camera shot.

David Sammartino is ready to show that he’s not just his father’s son. Of course his father will be at ringside.

Johnny Valiant says his man Brutus Beefcake isn’t worried about the son of an overrated legend.

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

They make no secret of the fact that this is little more than a way to have Bruno appear on the show. Bruno and Valiant are the seconds here and the match takes its sweet time to get going. David is in good shape but is a very boring looking wrestler. Brutus on the other hand has a great look but is very green at this point. It’s a slow start as Jesse thinks the loser will have his career set back six months to a year. They start slow with Brutus being sent out to the floor for a conference with Valiant.

Back in and David grabs a front facelock but gets countered into a headlock. David gets to his feet and takes Brutus down for a leg lock. The fans aren’t exactly thrilled with this one. Brutus fights up again and drops some heavy forearms followed by a powerslam. After more punishment it’s David fighting back and trying to look as much like his dad as he can. They fight to the floor and the managers get involved for the double DQ at 11:44.

Rating: D. So far this is the low mark in the history of Wrestlemania. That being said, it’s not so much bad as it is really dull. They were just doing basic moves to each other for about ten minutes until the older guys came in. At the end of the day, Bruno was the star here and David wasn’t very good. There isn’t much you can do to get around that and David never did.

Greg Valentine says he’s lost weight and is ready to defend the Intercontinental Title.

Junkyard Dog says he needs a bone to chew on and he’ll be able to afford a lot more once he wins that title.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine is defending and the graphic says this is the Inter-Continental Title. Greg also has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Dog starts with some heavy headbutts and right hands, followed by more headbutts from all fours to put Valentine down in the corner. Back up and Valentine actually wins a test of strength (I didn’t see that one coming), setting up a wristlock.

Now we get more into Greg’s standard operating procedure as he drives knees into Dog’s hamstring and cranks on the leg. Back up and Dog limps around but is still able to fire off right hands and headbutts. You might say his offense is limited but that might be giving him too much credit. Jimmy Hart tries to get on the apron but Valentine hits him by mistake, only to grab a rollup for the pin on Dog with his feet on the ropes at 6:55.

Rating: D. Another dull match here but at least the fans were way behind Dog. The guy might not have been the most athletic or active wrestler in the world but there’s no denying his charisma and how much the fans got behind him. It was pretty sure that Valentine was going to be fighting Santana next so the ending was never in any real doubt here but at least it was short.

Speaking of Santana, he comes out to tell the referee about Valentine’s feet being on the ropes. The referee says restart it but Valentine walks out, earning Dog a countout win. That’s quite the meaningless change and the fans really don’t care.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff don’t like America and want to take the Tag Team Titles back to Iran and the USSR respectfully. Their manager Freddie Blassie agrees.

The Tag Team Champions the US Express (Mike Rotundo and Barry Windham with manager Lou Albano) don’t have much to say but they’re ready.

Tag Team Titles: US Express vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Volkoff and Sheik are challenging and Nikolai actually gets the full Soviet national anthem out before the champions hit the ring. The Express are heavy favorites here but Sheik shoulders Mike down to start. Some dropkicks mostly miss Sheik but he goes down anyway. That’s very nice of him. Maybe he isn’t as evil as he seems. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow to the head and the champs are in early control.

Rotundo is tagged back in to face Volkoff. Nikolai’s arm gets worked over in a hurry with both champions coming off the top rope and dropping down onto it. Sheik gets suplexed but Volkoff gets in a knee to the back to finally give the evil foreigners control. Back to Sheik who can’t keep Rotundo in trouble much longer, allowing Mike to dive over for the tag. Barry comes in with a bulldog for two but everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik uses Blassie’s cane to knock Windham out cold for the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C-. This was just for the historical value and little more. Sheik and Volkoff getting the titles was a major surprise but they would drop them back to the Express just a few months later. They kept the formula simple here as the Express dominated until the very end where the villains cheated to take the belts. Quick and efficient here to give the show something historic.

Sheik and Volkoff say they’re the best in the world and Blassie denies having a cane.

The announcers talk for a bit as we’re in an intermission.

Big John Studd and Bobby Heenan have $15,000 in a bag (very impressive since you can see it’s mostly $1 bills) which they certainly won’t lose in the body slam match.

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

This is Studd’s money vs. Andre’s career and you can only win by slamming your opponent. The Heenan Family jumped Andre and cut off his afro on Saturday Night’s Main Event to set this up. Studd goes right after Andre to start but the Giant will have none of it and chops Studd out to the floor. Back in and Andre lays on Studd in the corner, followed by a bearhug. The fans chant for a slam but they’re stuck with more slow non-action instead. Studd’s kick to the ample gut gets caught and Andre kicks at the free leg a few times, setting up the slam on Studd (in a pretty famous visual) at 5:54.

Rating: F+. I can’t say this is a full on failure as the fans loved the ending but the rest of the match was such a boring mess. Andre was barely able to move here and that bearhug ate up nearly a third of the entire match. Thankfully they kept this really short because I don’t want to imagine what they were going to do with even more time.

Heenan grabs the money and runs off but Andre doesn’t seem to mind.

In the back, Andre laughs off the idea of retiring.

Rock mega star Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter are ready for Richter’s rematch for the Women’s Title. Richter really doesn’t have the best voice so Lauper was the better choice for the talking.

Lelani Kai says she’s going to “come back to the dressing room with her hand in victor.”

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Now this is big. Richter, the challenger here, is the second most popular person in the company (yes probably more than Andre) but Kai stole the title with Moolah’s help. Moolah vs. Richter is still the big feud here as Richter has Lauper in her corner. Lauper would start feuding with Moolah and then moved on to Roddy Piper to really blow the doors open on this whole Rock and Wrestling Connection.

In a rather famous shot, Richter and Lauper run through the back on their way to the ring. That’s one of those clips you’ve probably seen in a history package or two over the years. Feeling out process to start with both of them trying a wristlock. A hammerlock has Kai in trouble and she taps but that won’t mean anything for about another ten years.

The champ works on a wristlock of her own and pulls Richter down by the hair. Back up and Kai charges into two boots in the corner to change control. Moolah tries to rip Richter’s hair out but Lauper goes over and drills her. Richter drills Kai with some forearms and a fireman’s carry slam (think a reverse Attitude Adjustment) for two. The champ grabs a backbreaker for two of her own but Wendi rolls through a high cross body (well mostly as she didn’t get all the way through so Kai had to lay there for a bit) for the pin and the title at 6:12.

Rating: D. The match was nothing to see but it was one of the most academic endings of all time. Richter getting the title back sent the fans through the roof and Lauper’s enthusiasm made it even better. Women’s wrestling was very different at this point and things would evolve quite a bit over the next few years. This would be the last big moment for Wendi though as she would get screwed out of the title in a legit shoot by Moolah about eight months later. Richter had a nasty contract dispute and the WWF pulled a screwjob to get the title off of her.

Richter and Lauper spin around in circles post match. They continue to be happy in the back after the match.

It’s time to introduce the celebrities for the main event, starting with the guest ring announcer Billy Martin, the multiple time manager of the New York Yankees. He introduces guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes out with the Rockettes for a little dancing. If this isn’t your taste in entertainment, Muhammad Ali is introduced as the guest referee for outside the ring. Ali gets by far the biggest reaction as a legend here in the Garden and around the world. Another boxer, Jose Torres, is in the front row.

Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff vs. Mr. T./Hulk Hogan

This is the definition of the main event as it’s the biggest match on the show by leaps and bounds. The idea here is that Piper attacked Cyndi Lauper and friends when Lauper was being presented with an award. Hulk Hogan ran in for the save, setting up a showdown with Piper at the War to Settle the Score. The match resulted in a big brawl and Orndorff came in to help Piper. Mr. T. was in the front row and ran in to help his friend, setting up a huge brawl and this match.

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by the New York Pipe and Drum Corps but Hogan and Mr. T. come out to Eye of the Tiger from Rocky III. I’ll go with the good guys on this one. Piper and Orndorff will have Piper’s bodyguard Cowboy Bob Orton in their corner while Hogan and Mr. T. will have Jimmy Snuka. As Hogan and Mr. T. come through the back, Vince McMahon can be seen in the hallway. After all that, we’re FINALLY ready to go.

Orndorff has a broom for no apparent reason as Monsoon recaps everything and announces Pat Patterson as the inside referee. Hogan and Orndorff get things going as you would think they’re keeping the big attractions (Mr. T. in general and Hogan vs. Piper) back for a bit. Apparently not as Piper tags in before there’s any contact and Mr. T. demands to come in. They go nose to nose and slap each other in the face before going down to the mat for some amateur wrestling. The fans chant T. as you would expect them to.

Mr. T. picks him up for an airplane spin and slams Piper down, drawing everyone in for a huge brawl. Ali, Snuka and Orton get in with Piper getting right in Ali’s face. Amazingly enough it’s a REALLY STUPID IDEA to get in Muhammad Ali’s face as he swings at Piper, who is quick enough to get to the floor. Piper and Orndorff try to leave but the cops escort them back to the ring.

Back in and the villains are rammed into each other, leaving Hogan to drive Piper’s head into the mat. Mr. T. comes back in to help Hogan with a double big boot. Some hiptosses keep Piper and Orndorff in trouble and it’s back to Hogan for another boot which Piper out to the floor. Orndorff finally does something right as he knocks Hogan outside where Piper gets in a chair shot.

Ali breaks up any further cheating and it’s Hogan in trouble back inside. Mr. T. is dragged out of the ring, allowing a double atomic drop to keep Hogan in trouble. Piper comes back in for a knee lift for two, followed by a top rope elbow from Orndorff for the same. Orndorff isn’t as lucky the second time though as he misses a top rope knee, allowing for the hot tag off to Mr. T.

The villains quickly take Mr. T. down to the mat though and slaps on a front facelock. Monsoon criticizes Mr. T.’s technique in trying to escape but he gets out anyway and tags in Hogan as everything breaks down. Orton goes up top with for a shot with his cast but it hits Orndorff by mistake, giving Hogan the pin at 13:24.

Rating: C+. This is another match where the ending was obvious but it was all about the spectacle as we got there. Hogan was the megastar to end all megastars here and everything came off well. It’s not a great match or anything but it’s a lot of fun and that’s all it needed to be.

Piper decks Patterson and leaves. Orndorff wakes up and has no idea what happened but leaves without any violence.

We look back at the ending as everyone leaves.

Mr. T. says this is real and not for wimps. Hogan says that was what it was all about. Snuka says these men are his brothers. He would be gone soon after this.

Gorilla and Jesse wrap it up.

A package of stills from the show and the credits (a sign of the times) take us out.

Overall Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: this show isn’t very good. There are far worse cards out there, but this one is all about the history and atmosphere than anything else. To be fair, no one knew what this was going to be at the time and it blew away all the expectations. This felt like something special and that’s exactly what it was. It’s definitely a show that you have to see at some point in your life as a fan and you can feel the history. The show flies by and nothing feels long as only two matches break ten minutes. Not a great show, but one of the most important of all time.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D+

Brutus Beefcake vs. David Sammartino

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: D

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. US Express

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C-

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: F+

Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Original: B

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Paul Orndorff/Roddy Piper

Original: B

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C-

Forgive me on the first version. It was literally the first review I’ve ever done so I actually didn’t know what I was doing yet.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/08/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-1-just-a-big-house-show/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/10/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-i-it-all-starts-with-a-tag-match/

 

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania I
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

We begin here at a show that certainly won’t be like the rest of these. This show is far more about the spectacle than the major matches which is shown in the main event. Our big match tonight is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Paul Orndorff and Roddy Piper in a grudge match. Yeah the first show doesn’t even have the world title on the line. Today, there are at least two world title matches per show. Anyway, this is where it all began so let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bunch of shots of New York City with the WWF logo and some pictures of the wrestlers coming in later. The celebrities for tonight’s show (headlined by Muhammad Ali) are also shown.

Here’s Mean Gene to sing the Star Spangled Banner.

Tito Santana says he’s ready for the undefeated Executioner and he’s going to teach the newcomer a thing or two about the big leagues.

The Executioner says he’s going after Santana’s injured leg. So much for secrecy.

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Executioner is Buddy Rose (of Blow Away fame) under a mask. Tito is WAY over here in MSG so he was a good choice to open things up. We start with a crisscross before Tito dropkicks Executioner out to the floor. Back in and Santana hooks a headlock to take Executioner to the mat as we’re still waiting on that promised leg work. Tito charges into a boot in the corner and Executioner takes him down with a knee to the ribs. A spinning toe hold is easily escaped so Executioner goes after the other leg. So which one is injured in the first place?

Tito shrugs him off and the masked guy hides in the corner. Since it’s a corner that Tito is looking straight at, the hiding doesn’t go all that well and Tito slugs him down. Executioner comes back with a slam and goes up, only to be slammed right back down. A Santana splash hits knees though and we get to the knee work. That work consists of one cannonball down onto it before Tito kicks him to the floor. Back in and the forearm sets up the Figure Four to make Santana the first winner in the history of Wrestlemania.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t too bad and the crowd reacted well to Santana, but Executioner was just a guy there to be evil. For an opening match this was a pretty good idea but for a match in general it was pretty lame stuff. Then again they have no idea what they’re doing at this point so it’s understandable.

S.D. Jones says he’s ready for King Kong Bundy. I see why I’ve never heard him talk other than this show. He’s going to get down for Bundy.

Bundy says Jones needs to be ready for the Avalanche and the five count.

S. D. Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Here’s an infamous one. Jones is a guy from the old days who is here to make the fans feel good I guess. The match lasts 23 seconds with Bundy shoving Jones into the corner, splashing him three times and getting the pin. According to the WWF the time was 9 seconds, which doesn’t even make bad sense for them.

Matt Borne, the future Doink the Clown, says he’s ready to beat a worldwide star in Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat’s problem is that he’s too nice of a guy. That’s likely true.

Steamboat says this is the biggest card ever and he’s here to develop his meanness. You don’t hear this often, but Steamboat failed miserably in that regard.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Borne is the Maniac so I have another name to use. Steamboat is looking chiseled here. I’ve never seen him so ripped up and it’s a strange look on him. Also he isn’t called the Dragon yet which is even odder to hear. Ricky speeds things up to start and chops Borne down before hitting a chinlock only about 40 seconds in.

Off to a headlock instead with Steamboat backflipping over Borne twice with the second time resulting in an atomic drop. Back to the headlock which is shifted into a front facelock but Borne comes back with a snap suplex for two. Ricky is like dude I’m Ricky Steamboat and suplexes Borne down, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. A shoulder block puts Borne down and the cross body ends this near squash clean.

Rating: D+. Eh it’s Steamboat in the 80s so how bad can this be? Ricky wasn’t a huge star yet but he was rapidly becoming known as something special. It would be another year or so before he started tearing the house down on a regular basis and started having his masterpieces. Borne would be a lot better when he had a gimmick to go with his skills.

The Sammartinos are ready for Johnny V and Brutus Beefcake. Bruno threatens Johnny V is he tries to get involved.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sammartino was the son of a legend and had a good way into the business as a result. He had a good look on top of that, but he had one thing holding him back: he had no talent. His “career” was really just a way to keep Bruno around for a few more years to draw in some extra crowds and that’s the only reason this match is happening. Beefcake is new at this point and is nowhere near what he would become so this is going to be pretty bad.

David’s height doesn’t help him either as he’s about 5’8 or so. They head to the mat to start and Brutus has to bail to the floor for a breather. Back in and Sammartino takes it right back to the mat with a front facelock. A legdrop to the arm has Beefcake in trouble and it’s time to talk to the managers a bit. Beefcake comes back with a headlock takeover but David grabs the legs to work them over a bit.

Off to a leg lock as we keep things very basic so far. Brutus fights up with his leg seeming fine all of a sudden. He drops some forearms to David’s back and there’s a hard whip into the corner by Beefcake. David comes back with a backdrop and they slug it out a bit. Sammartino strikes like his daddy. A suplex gets two for David but Brutus sends him to the floor. The managers get into a fight and both guys run in for a double DQ.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s a competitive match and not completely terrible, but the problem is how low level of quality this was. Neither guy was terrible but you could tell they were trying which makes a big difference. This could have been WAY worse but it just wasn’t that good in the first place.

I forgot to mention how the interviews are being done. Alfred Hayes is standing in the entrance with the ring behind him as the guys come by him for their matches. The interviews are recorded earlier in the day though so it’s kind of odd.

Anyway Valentine says he’s tough and leaner than usual.

JYD says he’s going to take a bite out of Valentine. So he’s promising to cheat? Good to know.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Dog cranks on the arm to start and punches him in the shoulder ala Marciano. A punch to the face takes Valentine down and a headbutt sends the champion (Greg in case you’re not familiar with this era) to the floor. Valentine tries his luck at the arm now and pounds away with some forearms to the back of the head. I’m not sure if that should hurt the Dog or not.

The champion goes after the leg now with what looks to be the start of a half crab but he never turns Dog over. A kind of DDT on the leg has the Dog in trouble again and there’s a headbutt between the legs. Dog breaks up the Figure Four and hits a headbutt to stagger the champ some more. Jimmy Hart tries to interfere but Dog causes Valentine to blast him in the head instead. Valentine grabs a fast rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m getting tired of using that rating but this is what the matches keep coming out as: not terrible but nothing good at all. Valentine would get back to his current feud with Tito Santana very soon with the title changing hands pretty soon if I remember properly. Dog was there as more of a fun character than a serious threat so this was fine.

Speaking of Santana, here he is to tell the referee what happened. The referee restarts the match but Valentine walks out for the countout without ever getting back in. That’s just building Santana vs. Valentine for later.

Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff say their countries are better than America. Where’s my pitchfork when I need to run freaks like these off?

The US Express say they’re ready.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.

Sheik and Volkoff said they’ve proven their superiority now.

Intermission which is edited out of the home video releases.

Big John Studd says he’ll slam Andre and keep the money.

Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant

This is a bodyslam challenge with some special stipulations: if Andre wins, he gets $15,000 but if Studd wins, Andre has to retire. Studd charges in to start but is immediately chopped back and he bails to the floor. Back in and Andre punches him in the head and rams him in the corner with all of his weight. Studd goes for a slam and Andre is just like dude please. The fans chant for a slam as Andre puts on a bearhug. That goes on for a good while until Andre shifts over to a facelock. Apparently if this goes to the time limit, Andre has to retire. Andre kicks at the leg for a bit and casually slams Studd for the win. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was pretty terrible but the fans loved Andre and he had to be on here. Also this was part of a big feud as Andre and Studd cut Andre’s hair a few weeks before this. The match was pretty weak but then again what are you going to expect from these two guys with Andre’s body starting to fail on him.

Andre hands a few bucks out to the fans but Heenan steals the bag and runs off.

Andre says he doesn’t care about the money because he’s better than Studd and now he’s proven it. He isn’t retiring anytime soon either.

Cyndi Lauper and Wendi Richter want Wendi’s title back. Richter is MAD here and has a nearly man’s voice.

Moolah and Lelani Kai are ready to keep the title.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

The big deal here is that Cyndi Lauper, pop superstar of her day, is in Richter’s corner. Moolah, as in the woman who cost Richter the title a few weeks ago, is in Kai’s corner. The camera is on a wide shot for the start of Richter’s music (Girls Just Wanna Have Fun) and the whole crowd literally gets up at once. Cool visual. For reasons that continue to elude me, the slow motion shot of Richter and Lauper running through the back and into the arena is a famous clip.

They both pull hair to start and we’re clearly in a normal women’s match here. By that I mean neither girl is that good in the ring and their moves are really overblown. Richter cranks on the arm for a bit until Kai pulls her hair to take over. Now the champion works on the arm for a bit and Richter is in trouble. More hair pulling ensues until Richter puts on a body scissors.

Kai charges into a boot in the corner and Richter shoves the referee away like a jerk. Moolah chokes away at Wendi in the corner until Lauper comes over to make the save. Richter hits a kind of reverse AA and a splash for two. Lelani hits a backbreaker for two before going up for a cross body, only to have Wendi roll through for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. These two just didn’t work that well, but that would be the case for almost any women’s match back in the 80s. The girls were out there basically for a spectacle or in this case the pop culture connection that was driving the era. Richter was a HUGE star at this point, occasionally main eventing house shows when Hogan was in another city.

Richter and Lauper dance around the ring in celebration in another semi-famous scene.

Richter and Lauper celebrate in the back as well.

We introduce the celebrities for the main event. The guest ring announcer is Billy Martin, former manager of the Yankees. He introduces Liberace as guest timekeeper, accompanied by four Rockettes. They all get in the ring and do the famous kicks which you’ll see in the occasional highlight package. The guest referee is someone you may have heard of: Muhammad Ali. Jose Torres, another boxer, is on the floor as well.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper comes out with the full New York Pipe and Drums band while Hogan and T come out to Eye of the Tiger. Advantage Hogan/T. Piper and Orndorff have Bob Orton as their second while Hogan/T have Jimmy Snuka. Advantage Hogan/T. This is looking kind of one sided isn’t it? Oh and Pat Patterson is the inside referee while Ali is the outside referee. The heels all hug and we’re ready to go.

Orndorff and Hogan get things going but Piper tags in before there’s any contact. Therefore T wants to fight Piper and they immediately head to the mat. T and Piper do some amateur stuff and T actually lasts long enough for a standoff. We get some staring until T hooks Piper in an airplane spin. Everything breaks down and Ali gets in to help break it up. Orton and Snuka try to get in as well but Ali glares Orton down.

Things break down again and the heels get rammed together until we get down to Hogan vs. Piper. Hulk rams Piper’s head into the mat over and over until it’s back to T. Hogan offers his knee as something to ram Piper’s head into and it’s back to the champion to send Piper to the outside. Orndorff jumps Hogan from behind and knocks him outside where Roddy blasts him with a chair.

Paul chokes away from the apron until T charges in for the save. Pat Patterson has to pull T off and you know he enjoys this in some way. A double atomic drop puts Hogan down and Orndorff hits a vertical suplex. Roddy comes back in to get in his punches and knee shots followed by an Orndorff top rope elbow to the back of Hulk’s neck for two. Paul goes up again but misses the knee drop and there’s the hot tag to T.

Orndorff and T brawl on the mat for a bit until Mr. gets in trouble via a Piper front facelock. That goes nowhere though as T stands up and makes the tag with no effort to be seen. Hogan pounds away but walks into a belly to back suplex. Orton and Snuka get in the ring for no apparent reason and as the referee calms things down, Orton comes in off the top with the cast but hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin.

Rating: B-. Is it great? Not even close, but the point of this match was the crowd reacting to it rather than the match itself. It’s easily the best match of the night and while the only question coming into tonight was who was getting the fall. This was exactly what the fans wanted and that’s what this was supposed to be about. Nice main event here.

Piper and Orton bail but the good guys let Orndorff leave without beating on him even more.

We recap the ending of the main event.

Hogan, T and Snuka talk about winning.

Credits end the show. That’s a sign of the past.

Overall Rating: D+. First and foremost let me make something clear: the overall rating for this show means jack because the whole thing was there for the spectacle and the matches were an afterthought other than the main event. This show was a huge success and kickstarted what is known as the Golden Era, so I don’t think you can call it anything but a good show. It’s also on the list of shows that every fan has to see at least once, just so they can say they’ve seen it. Not great quality, but incredible historical significance.

Ratings Comparison

Tito Santana vs. Executioner

Original: C

Redo: C-

King Kong Bundy vs. S.D. Jones

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Original: C-

Redo: D+

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Shiek vs. U.S. Express

Original: B-

Redo: C

Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

Original: D+

Redo: D

Wendi Richter vs. Lelani Kai

Original: B

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/08/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-1-just-a-big-house-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This is ancient by my standards and literally the first review I ever did. Please be gentle.

Wrestlemania 1
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

And so it begins. Wrestlemania is here. In what was perhaps the greatest cross promotional strategy of all time, the WWF teamed up with MTV to promote the biggest wrestling show of all time in what was called the Rock N Wrestling Connection. This idea was nothing short of genius and it truly got the war going with the NWA. Spearheaded by the feud between Hulk Hogan and Roddy Piper, this show was all about fanfare. While little happened as far as historical significance, this show goes down in history as being great simply because of what it meant in history. Never before had mainstream celebrities been mixed with wrestling on such a vast scale. Obviously the results were great and Wrestlemania was born.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Anyway, let’s get going with the show. To begin with, in the first match in the history of Wrestlemania, we see Tito Santana vs. The Executioner, portrayed by Buddy “Blow Away” Rose. Before the match we get a pre-recorded interview (which I believe all of them are tonight) from the Executioner saying that he’s going after Santana’s leg which was already injured. The match is pretty much what you would expect for an 80s WWF match. Very standard stuff that’s by no means bad, but not really great either. Tito is at his best here against a random heel, and he wins in standard fashion with a forearm and the figure four.

Rating: C. Considering it’s the first ever match at the biggest show that would ever exist, I didn’t know what to expect. It’s certainly not bad, but doesn’t really set a good first foot forward for Wrestlemania if that makes sense. This is more famous for simply being the first match in the history of the biggest wrestling series ever, but it wasn’t anything special at all.

King Kong Bundy vs. Special Delivery Jones

The next match is I believe still the shortest in Wrestlemania history as King Kong Bundy faces Special Delivery Jones. More prerecorded comments with Bundy saying he’s mad about something or other. In less than 25 seconds, Bundy hits a pair of splashes to pin Jones. This match was the epitome of a squash match. No rating of course.

“Maniac” Matt Borne says this is his chance to beat one of the best wrestlers in the world. Steamboat is too nice of a guy which will be his downfall.

Steamboat says this is a big test for him. Wow he must have a bad memory if this is his biggest challenge.

Matt Borne vs. Ricky Steamboat

Now we get onto a solid match with the always dependable Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne, who is far more famous as heel Doink. Jesse is ROCKING that pink tuxedo. Not a lot of people can get away with that big Jesse is making it work for me. What was up with the five bells after everyone’s name? Steamboat is in the basic white tights which is odd to see indeed.

Feeling out process to start. Why can’t it ever be a feeling up process? Steamboat chops away and we get a chinlock seconds in. That’s not something you see everyday. I miss hearing Jesse call Gorilla Gino. A long atomic drop has Borne in trouble but he gets one of his own to avoid us hitting squash territory.

Ok perhaps you should forget the lack of a squash here as it’s almost all Steamboat here. At least the right guy is doing the squashing. Borne gets a suplex for two as even Gorilla says this isn’t going to work. He throws left handed punches and Gorilla concludes that he is in fact left handed.

We’re getting a lot of suplexes in this. Swinging neckbreaker by the Dragon gets no cover. A knee drop gets two. Steamboat speeds things up all of a sudden and there’s the flying cross body and I think you know what that means as this is 1985. Yep it’s over.

Rating: C-. Glorified squash match here with nothing special happening at all for the most part. Steamboat is always fun to see and this was no exception here. He would get a bit higher on the card in coming years before getting his lone world title in 1989. Borne would bounce around various companies before dancing with bear cubs in WCW and becoming a clown in WWF. Nice way to see different career paths.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Now we go on to what was little more than a reason to have the managers brawl at ringside, we have David Sammartino against Brutus Beefcake. Davide is accompanied by his father and Johnny Valiant for Beefcake. Big stall to start which is filled in by Gorilla talking about how great the crowd is, and for the time it really was. Finally we get going and Jesse cracks me up by saying that a loss for either man here could set their careers back 2 years.

That’s nothing but priceless. Anyway, we have a nice little wrestling sequence to start with Beefcake stalling again after sliding to the floor. We’re almost 5 minutes in and nothing at all of interest has happened yet. They’re trying to do a technical match and it’s just failure. I’m quite bored as I watch this match and it’s not getting any better.

I feel like I’m watching a house show match, but not the good kind. I feel like I’m watching a house show match that makes jobbers look good. Even the commentators sound bored here, yet for some reason the crowd is into this. FINALLY we get the managers involved and it’s a huge brawl for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. I was so bored I almost fell asleep. Absolutely nothing at all of note and it was just done to get Bruno on the show. David had a lot to live up to and for the most part he never came close which is the case for the vast majority of the kids of major stars. If nothing else look at David Flair. This was a very bad match though as Beefcake was the top guy in the ring which sums up things rather well.

JYD says he’ll win.

Valentine says he’ll win.

IC Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

No intro for Valentine as he’s just in the ring. That was far more common back then. It’s hard to imagine that the title is less than six years old at this point. Another One Bites The Dust by Queen brings Dog to the ring. I prefer Grab Them Cakes but that’s just me.

Valentine was awesome at this point and Gorilla says he might be the best IC Champion of all time at this point and I can’t really put up that much of an argument against that. He would lose the title to Santana soon after this who would lose it to Savage before Mania II. Dog is more or less the challenger of the month at this point and was very popular as well. Why he was popular is beyond me as he tends to be annoying but what do I know?

Naturally the Dog dominates to start with punches and headbutts. Valentine misses a punch and Dog gets on all fours with the heabutts. That’s about the biggest offensive move he’s going to have so I wouldn’t expect much more than that from him. We hear about Jimmy Hart’s stable which has Jim Neidhart but no Bret. It’s so weird to hear about Neidhart being a singles guy.

Valentine goes for the leg. He used the Figure Four as his finisher at this point which apparently he has patented. Did he file for the paperwork for it? Does he get royalties whenever Flair uses it? Dang no wonder he’s broke. Jesse says Valentine has no bones about this. I love bad puns.

Figure Four is kicked off which is the traditional counter of course. They slug it out and surprisingly enough Dog loses. Ok never mind he doesn’t but he was for a few seconds there. Jesse says a Dog headbutt would drop an oak tree. No see you make the tree watch one of his matches and it’ll fall asleep. That is how you drop an oak tree if JYD has to be involved.

Dog goes after Jimmy but Valentine accidentally pops his own manager. Here comes the Dog with his variety pack of punches and headbutts. Valentine cheats to get the pin with his feet on the ropes and apparently gets away with it. Tito runs out to tell the referee what happened so the match is restarted. Why can’t more people do that if they can get away with it? Valentine takes a walk anyway just because he can I guess. No title change thank goodness.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here with Valentine dominating for the most part. It went by rather fast though which helped a good bit. I can’t stand the Dog but Valentine is pretty good. This of course set up more of Valentine vs. Santana which helps a lot as at least we got a good feud and eventual title change out of it in a solid cage match between them.

On a side note, the old IC Title looks far better than the one they would replace it with. It’s kind of like the NWA US Title which I’ve always been a fan of. Decent match but really just a placeholder for the most part. Granted though they had no idea what they were doing here so it’s ok I guess.

Next up we have a match that I’ve always kind of liked. For the WWF Tag Team Titles, Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik against the US Express of Mika Rotunda and Barry Windham, who at the show came out to a song called Real American. Upon further review, this match is still pretty good and likely the best match of the night so far.

There’s not much to it but there doesn’t need to be. It’s America vs. foreigners, which is a formula that absolutely never fails. Rotunda plays a great face in peril here as he tries to out wrestle the monsters on the other team. There’s not a lot to this match but what they have is just fine. Big hot tag to Windham who cleans house, which leads to a big brawl. Blassie hands Sheik his cane which is smashed over Windham for a pinfall and a title change.

Rating: B-. Not much here, but what they had was at least passable. It was the standard U.S. versus the evil heels which is a formula that’s hard to mess up if anyone in the match knows what they’re doing, and these people knew. The titles would change back just a few weeks later so this was to do nothing more than get a title change on the card to make it seem historic. Keep in mind that this was still in the era when title reigns were usually longer so this meant a lot more.

Body Slam Match: Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd

It is now time for the first of two famous matches from this card as Andre the Giant faces off with Big John Studd in a $15,000 vs. retirement match. Studd had put out a challenge saying that no one could body slam him, and no one could. Then a man named Andre took him up on the challenge, and this right here is the result of that challenge. Andre controls early on but eventually Studd evens things out.

The crowd is off the hook for this match behind Andre to say the least. This is really just a lot of bearhugs and big punches/forearms for about ten minutes but the crowd eats it up. Andre just goes off on the knee and then slams Studd like it’s nothing at all. He gets the money and throws the money to the crowd, prompting Heenan to steal it and run off.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was awful, but the crowd was going crazy the whole time. Classic example of a match where the crowd played a key factor. Andre was getting to the point here where he couldn’t do much. These giant vs. giant matchups were rarely good but this worked as the whole idea was to just have Andre FINALLY end the “you can’t slam me” angle which he had done about a dozen times on house shows but this was the official one.

Women’s Title: Wendi Richter vs. Lelani Kai

In the penultimate match of the night, we get the first of the Rock N Wrestling matches with the Women’s Title on the line with Wendi Richter against Lelani Kai for the Women’s Title. At the time, Richter was the second biggest face in the company, often main eventing house shows when Hogan was elsewhere. Cyndi Lauper being in her corner didn’t hurt her at all as Lauper got into this.

In a scene that for some reason is now famous, Lauper and Richter run down the aisle in the back of the arena as the crowd is going crazy over this. For one of the only times ever in wrestling, the celebrity manager clearly wants to be doing this. This match is standard back and forth stuff with the young Richter clearly being the one that’s going to win or MSG might have been burned down. Finally Richter reverses a cross body to get the pin and the title as the fans are going insane.

Rating: B. This match was billed as half of the double main event. Think about that for just a bit. The Women’s Title match, main eventing Wrestlemania. If that doesn’t tell you how big Lauper and Richter were, nothing will. I never really got the appeal of Richter but at this time she was main eventing the B-level house shows over the IC Title or Tag Titles. Imagine going to a show today where the main event had Michelle McCool in it.

Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff

And now for the main event, we have Mr. T and Hulk Hogan against Piper and Orndorff with Muhammad Ali himself as the guest referee. Why this wasn’t Hogan against Piper one on one is beyond me. As usual, Piper has a live bagpipes band which is always cool. The fans aren’t really booing much because they know what’s coming. Real American was already taken so instead we hear Eye of the Tiger, or at least I think we do.

The eruption is so loud I’m not sure what I’m hearing. Your other referee is Pat Patterson. If you’ve seen one Hogan match you’ve seen them all for the most part and this is no exception. Hogan embarrasses his opponents to start and then gets beaten down with some cheating. Double teams throughout the match on both Hogan and T until finally we get the brawl we’ve all waited for. Bob Orton and Jimmy Snuka are the seconds here and they both get involved.

Finally Orton comes off with the cast to his Hogan but catches Orndorff instead as Hogan pins him. This prompts Piper to leave him in the ring, which led to Orndorff’s face turn. Hogan and T pose as we go off the air.

Rating: B. Basic tag match, but why was this a tag? It just made little sense and there was no drama to it at all. Hogan didn’t even win with the legdrop. Fun little match, but not for the main event of Mania. For the life of me I will never get why this wasn’t Hogan vs. Piper for the title, perhaps with Piper even defending and dropping it to Hogan. Very odd choice indeed but it worked very well for what it was supposed to be.

Overall rating: C-. This show clearly isn’t famous for the wrestling as there’s only 2-3 good matches on the card. What this show is famous for is the idea of a supercard in the biggest arena there was in the biggest city there was with celebrities, national coverage, and a huge main event. The idea was amazing but no one knew what they had here and it shows. For its time this was mind blowing. Now it’s just average at best. Watch it for the last three matches and skip the others.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6