So I heard about Bring it to the Table for a few days now and I finally got around to watching it. Oh sweet goodness this was amazing in all the wrong ways though it was just about exactly what I was expecting. This was half an hour of WWE giving us their official line on almost everything and the big theme is pretty much “you don’t work for WWE and therefore you have no opinion.”
A few highlights:
JBL says WWE is better than UFC in the pay per view market because UFC runs big star vs. big star at every pay per view. I think this one speaks for itself.
Also, Raw needs to be three hours and fans need to stop complaining if they say it’s too long because money money money money money. The host, who is supposed to be the voice of the fan, says it’s a bit much to watch and JBL/Heyman just unload on him, basically saying he has no idea what he’s talking about and has no right to question WWE’s stance on anything.
EVERYTHING WWE does is positive no matter what. Like, everything. 205 Live airing after Smackdown is great because JBL and Undertaker used to work dark matches or something, meaning the fans won’t be going anywhere and shouldn’t complain about the tapings going on for so long.
Overall, this is about what you had to expect. WWE has never been a company that is going to pretend ANYONE else has an opinion (save for when HHH said Raw would be better at two hours on the Austin podcast) but this was pretty ridiculous. It was basically WWE covering its ears and shouting “LALALA WE CAN’T HEAR YOU BECAUSE WE’RE WWE AND NO ONE CAN TOUCH US!”. It was really entertaining to see WWE twist everything around like this and offer no alternative perspectives whatsoever. I’d watch it again just for the sake of the laughs but if you want a real discussion about issues, go somewhere else.
Smackdown – May 24, 2001: The TV Debut
This was requested recently but it was written over five years ago, meaning it might not be up to my usual standards.
Smackdown
Date: May 24, 2001
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
This is a request I got a few months ago and got too busy to get around to until now. This is the TLC 3 night with Benoit/Jericho defending against three other teams. Other than that it’s another episode of Smackdown without much to show for it. HHH is injured and Austin is the top dog in the company as a heel. The Alliance is coming and Austin would be getting ready either for Judgment Day in a few days or King of the Ring in a month or so. I’m not entirely sure. Let’s get to it.
This is the Thursday after HHH and Austin lost the tag titles so this is the first title defense for the new champions. We open with a recap of the AWESOME tag title match where Austin and HHH lost the belts (can’t wait to get to that one)
Theme song opens us up.
Here’s Vince to start the show. He guarantees that we’re going to have an historic night tonight. He calls the title change a miracle and the fans don’t seem to agree. We hear about HHH’s quad injury and the fans cheer. This might be the first time we hear that it’ll be 4-6 months that he’s out. In reality it would be closer to 7-8. He announced the main event: TLC 3 with Benoit/Jericho defending against the Hardys, Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.
X-Pac vs. Eddie Guerrero
Eddie cost Pac the European Title on Mondays o this is a revenge rematch. Eddie takes him down quickly to start as the fans don’t really care as much as the match starts. Pac takes Eddie down and the fans aren’t pleased. He sends Eddie to the floor and hits Chrsitian’s springboard dive over the top to the floor.
Pac slams him down but something like a swanton misses and here comes Eddie. He gets some basic stuff including the slingshot headbutt. Pac breaks the momentum and tries the Bronco Buster but Eddie moves. Eddie goes up but takes an enziguri followed by something like a dominator off the top for the kind of surprising pin.
Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but they weren’t clicking out there. Even Tazz said that Eddie looked a bit off. Also it’s kind of cool to see Pac getting a clean pin over someone like that, especially with something other than the X-Factor. Not a great match at all but it wasn’t horrible or anything. Eddie would be sent to rehab later on in the month for pain killer addiction so this was one of his last appearances for awhile.
Tajiri is in Regal’s office and Japanese is spoken. Oh this is his debut. Regal says Tajiri should pay some dues in the form of being the Commissioner’s (Regal) friend. First off, no more bowing as it’s a racial stereotype. Now go get my tea and crumpets.
We recap Angle celebrating the recovery of his Olympic medals but then Shane showed up to ruin the celebration. This set up an AWESOME street fight at King of the Ring. Kurt beat up Shane and Vince offered Kurt an IC Title shot as an apology. Shane cost him the title.
Kurt is looking for Shane.
Spike tries to talk the Dudleys out of hating Molly because he loves her. D-Von guarantees she’s going through a table sooner or later. The more famous Dudleys say they have more important things to worry about, like TLC. They part ways.
Molly is chilling in the back and Kurt comes up to ask about Shane. He threatens her for lying and says she’s waiting on someone. Kurt makes fun of her and tells her to go find Shane. Spike pops up and calls Molly his girlfriend and a match is made for later. Scratch the later. Let’s do it RIGHT NOW.
Spike Dudley vs. Kurt Angle
I mean literally now as they walk to the ring in the same shot. They both come through the crowd for some reason. Spike calls Kurt a chicken and tries to use speed but jumps into a suplex. Kurt unleashes the suplexes and Spike is in pain. It’s so weird hearing Cole as a face commentator. Angle Slam off the steps kills Spike and the ankle lock ends it quickly. This was just a squash.
Kurt won’t let go of the ankle so Molly comes out for the save. Kurt gets in her face so the male Hollies come out for the save. Back to the ankle lock on Spike and he’s in pain.
Post break Kurt says he’s proud of what he did to Spike. He blames Shane for what just happened.
Dean Malenko vs. Raven
Malenko is a ladies man here. Perry Saturn is with Malenko and is a bit loopy now. Raven starts fast and gets a pair of backdrops before setting up for the Raven Effect which is countered. Deano Machineo works on the leg but Raven fights back. Saturn slides in a chair which isn’t used. Saturn’s girlfriend Terri distracts the referee and Saturn hooks a neckbreaker on Raven, letting Malenko get the cheap pin. This was nothing, again.
Raven fights them both off and DDTs Saturn on the chair.
Trish comes in to see Steve Blackman and changes behind a screen. Blackman is intrigued.
After a break Trish is still getting ready and asks Blackman to help her with her top. Blackman has a stick with him at the time. If you can’t figure out what happens next, go watch an Austin Powers movie.
Here’s Austin to complain about life in general. He wants the fans to shut up as he has a sore throat so he can’t talk loud. If they keep calling him the opening in a donkey he’s leaving. And there he goes. Ok he changed his mind. He blames HHH for the title loss, saying he was about to break the Liontamer and hit a Stunner. Then when he was about to kick out of the Lionsault HHH accidentally hit him in the belly with a sledgehammer.
The other problem Austin has is with Taker who popped into the dressing room and says it’s not over yet. You know, after losing to Austin twice in title matches. Now we can talk about Austin. He says he’s a fighting champion and he says he’ll put it on the line to anyone but not here in this town because they don’t deserve to see him in action.
Tajiri brings in tea and a ton of crumpets for Regal. Rhyno pops in and demands a Hardcore Title match but Regal says no. Rhyno says ok then give me Austin and the WWF Title. That’s a no also. Then how about Kane for the Intercontinental Title. Regal says no one wants to face Kane. Rhyno says I do and that’s about it. So you can just demand title matches now?
Steve Blackman/Grandmaster Sexay/Trish Stratus vs. Ivory/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan
The RTC would be gone very soon after this. Richards has been thrown out of the team. Buchanan vs. Blackman to start us off. After Blackman kicks him around a lot Ivory tags herself in. Goodfather comes in to meet Trish so there’s the tag to Grandmaster. Why is he teaming with Blackman? They were in the dark match at Mania and I guess they’re together for an odd pairing? It’s really just a filler match as Grandmaster does some basic stuff to Buchanan (lot of tags in this) before tagging in Blackman (see what I mean?). Everything breaks down, axe kick to Blackman, top rope legdrop to Buchanan, pin.
Rating: C. Eh all things considered this was fine. It’s more or less the final nail in the coffin of the RTC and that’s all it needed to be. Trish looked good in her shorts and was getting a lot more competent in the ring all the time. Not a great match or anything but it was fast paced and did its job so I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt.
Post match Trish and Steve dance.
Dean and Terri aren’t sure how Saturn is. He comes out of the trainers’ room and is insane now.
Edge and Christian say they’ve been in these matches and have a habit of winning them.
Intercontinental Title: Kane vs. Rhyno
Kane won the title at Judgment Day from HHH. It’s a good thing they changed the title when they did. Kane still has a bad arm. He takes over to start and hits some of his favorites, such as the side slam and clothesline for two. Rhyno hits a running shoulder to the back while Kane is in the corner but he gets his head taken off by a clothesline for two again. Rhyno works on the back and hooks a camel clutch but Kane stands up and hits an electric chair drop. British Bulldog style powerslam gets two. Rhyno gets most of a belly to back suplex and takes over. And scratch that as the missed Gore sets up the chokeslam to end it.
Rating: C. Nice hard hitting match here which is the right idea with guys like these. Rhyno never really got a huge push in WWE but he’s pretty good at his job: being the tough guy who could give you a quick and good match. For a three-four minute TV match, there’s not much more you can ask for given who was in there.
The Canadian Chris’s talk about winning the titles and keeping them tonight.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Hardy Boys vs. Edge/Christian vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho
Think this will be awesome? Everyone goes after the champions immediately and Edge throws in a ladder. Expect a lot of play by play here as there’s not much else you can do. Edge and Christian (Dang I can’t call them the Canadians here) go up but get pulled down, foiling their attempted fast one. The Hardys and Dudleys are in the ring with a ladder being put in front of Bubba. He throws it back at Jeff to counter Poetry in Motion.
The champions take over with ladders but their fellow Canadians take them down. The fans want tables. There needs to be a crack addiction center for table lovers. Matt powerbombs Christian off the ladder and gets in a fight with Edge on top of the ladder. Benoit shoves them off and then gets beaten up by Bubba for his efforts. Jericho puts Matt on a table on the floor and Benoit goes up. He dives off in a huge swan dive which hits the table and no Matt. That was in the Smackdown opening montage forever.
Back in the ring Jericho bulldogs Bubba off the top of the ladder and Benoit hasn’t moved yet. Tazz goes to check on him so you can tell it’s a big deal. Yeah he leaves on a stretcher as we go to a break. Back with two ladders in the ring and Edge climbs one. Jericho comes up for the save and puts Edge in the Walls on top of the ladder which looks awesome. Christian comes up and shoves Jericho off the top and onto a buckle.
The Hardys shove off the other Canadians and it’s Hardys vs. Dudleys. Works for me. D-Von hiptosses Matt off and Jeff gets suplexed to put everyone down. We get a highlight package to fill in some of the time with everyone down. And here comes Benoit. Benoit goes up but Edge and Christian make the save. They pull out some chairs and it’s Conchairto time. Benoit covers his head but takes two chair shots to the ribs, which were announced as bruised or perhaps broken.
Edge gets taken down by What’s Up and it’s Table Time. Jericho pops D-Von with one and then Christian pops Jericho with one. With a table still in the ring, Christian goes up a ladder in a corner and D-Von chases him up. You know it’s coming. There’s a Super 3D off the ladder which knocks both Dudleys out as well for some reason. The Hardys set up a ladder outside and it’s the big one. Matt caves in Ray’s head and Jeff goes a climbing. Using another ladder Jeff hits that jumping legdrop over the big ladder through Bubba through the table. There’s your huge spot of the match.
Matt and D-Von both have ladders and it’s a race up there. They slug it out up there but Matt gets a Twist of Fate off the top. It looked worse too as Matt pulled too hard and D-Von landed on top of his head. FREAKING OW MAN! Matt goes up but Jericho makes a last second save. He sets a ladder but Edge climbs up another one and spears Jericho down. When I was a kid I wanted Jericho to reach out and grab it on the way down. Benoit realizes he’s still alive and climbs up to win the titles. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.
Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s TLC with the three teams plus the Canadians in there. Did you expect something other than great? It’s a smaller scale than TLC 2 but that’s Wrestlemania so that’s kind of a high expectation to reach. Still though, this was some great carnage and the usual great spots. 8 people in there is a bit much and I think that’s what’s slowing it down. Also it needs JR to be freaking out to be a classic but we can let that slide as it’s not their faults.
The champs pose on the ladder with their titles to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. You get a free 20 minute TLC match so this show is automatically good. The rest of it is pretty average but nothing is too horrible and like I said, YOU GET TLC ON THIS SHOW. This was one of the really good shows before the Alliance came in and threw everything up in the air. The rest isn’t worth watching, but check out TLC, although it’s not as good as I or II.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – August 5, 2002: This is Worse Than Katie Vick
Monday Night Raw Date: August 5, 2002
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Summerslam continues to approach and that means we’re in need of some major matches. The big story around here though is someone attacking Shawn Michaels, sending HHH right back into caring about his former best friend who he just happens to beat up every now and then. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Shawn Michaels being attacked and everyone being a suspect, set to Rey Mysterio’s old WCW music for some reason.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Chris Jericho to get things going. This is his show now and only a certified genius like Eric Bischoff would bring him to Raw. After calling the fans losers (you’re better than that Chris), he says Bischoff gets the difference in talent between Jericho and Ric Flair. JR: “I just totally disagree with that.” HHH cuts him off because we haven’t seen these two fight enough this year. HHH suggests that Jericho had something to do with Shawn’s attack as a way to get back at HHH for the loss at Wrestlemania. That…..really doesn’t make sense but neither does most of what HHH says.
Jericho says it wasn’t him and brings up the problem with HHH’s theory: he just beat up Shawn a few weeks ago and now it would hurt HHH to have someone else attack Michaels? Jericho accuses HHH of being the attacker but HHH says he was in the ring when it happened. That’s not exactly beyond a reasonable doubt but I’ll take what I can get.
Anyway, HHH is going to find out who did it because he Pedigreed Shawn for his own good. HHH leaves and is quickly replaced by Rob Van Dam, whose chants annoy Jericho all over again. Rob is here for the official welcome to Raw and to ask Jericho what he’s been smoking. A match is set up due to Jericho getting annoyed at the RVD chants.
Big Show vs. Bubba Ray Dudley
Tables match. Show has slightly altered gear this week as the one piece swimsuit look now ends in shorts. So he’s wearing a woman’s one piece swimsuit but is self-conscious about his thighs. Bubba slugs away to start but gets caught in a good looking belly to belly. Some shots on the floor stagger Show for a few seconds until Show beats him down again. There’s a side slam to Bubba and it’s already time for a table.
Show kicks the table in half by mistake so Bubba folds it up and hits him in the head. That goes nowhere so here’s Trish to distract Show (the leather skirt helps with that), allowing Spike to come in and hit the big man with a football helmet. Show staggers into a flapjack through the table to give Bubba the win.
Rating: D-. As you might expect, Trish’s outfit was the only good thing about this one. I have no idea why Show is jobbing to Bubba Ray Dudley and a football helmet but I’m sure it’s going to result in Bubba getting a push because THAT’S what the world is waiting for. There’s something to be said for trying something new but there’s no real logic behind picking someone whose push is guaranteed to be a failure.
The Un-Americans run down America and the Undertaker. This involves talking about slaughtering innocent people in response to 9/11 and yeah, that’s too far. Like, way too far. Sgt. Slaughter comes in and offers to show them some real American aggression. This is going to be a very, very long night.
We look back at Moolah and Mae Young getting beaten down last week.
Hardcore Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Bradshaw
Dreamer is defending and this seems to take JR by surprise as he says this was coming later in the show. They actually start fighting in the back, which is an interesting idea for the division for a change. Therefore, they’re almost immediately in the arena to make sure this is your run of the mill hardcore match. JR calls this a Raw exclusive and I wouldn’t brag about that.
Bradshaw beats him around the arena for a few near falls until Dreamer pulls him into the post. After some more weapons shots, Dreamer gets tossed with a middle rope fall away slam. A powerbomb gets two for Bradshaw and Dreamer gets the same off a shot to the head. Dreamer DDTs him on the floor for the pin and the title.
Rating: F. Nothing interesting and nothing new here, save for JR bragging about the division. It says a lot about the show when the announcers don’t seem to know what’s going on with the format. The division is so far beyond a waste of time at this point and I have no idea why so many of these people are still employed.
William Regal and Christopher Nowinski are talking about their tag match later when they run into Molly Holly and her new friend Victoria. Nowinski likes the idea of de-virginizing Molly and has to read the back of Victoria’s trunks to remember her name. Funny, but still rather disturbing.
Goldust complains to Booker T. about Mike Myers stealing his idea for Goldmember. As retaliation, Goldust introduces Minidust, who promptly enjoys Booker’s leg. Thankfully HHH (What am I saying?) comes in and accuses Booker of attacking Shawn. Booker isn’t happy.
Howard Finkel asks Bischoff if he can challenge Lillian Garcia to be the official ring announcer. Bischoff actually agrees because WE’RE HAVING A STORY ABOUT BATTLING RING ANNOUNCERS! Were the referees busy this week? Fink has a letter to deliver to Bischoff and it turns out to be from Stephanie, listing off various talents appearing on this week’s show. If nothing else we get to hear Fink do his big introductions voice which I’ll never get tired of hearing.
Kane is coming back. Oh yeah. He’s been gone.
Test vs. Sgt. Slaughter
Test kicks him in the face before the bell and there’s no match. Seriously that’s the whole thing.
Booker T./Goldust vs. William Regal/Christopher Nowinski
Goldust punches Nowinski in the face to start and follows up with a running hip attack because that’s how Goldust’s offense works. The bad guys start working on Goldust’s arm to take over as the fans tells Chris that Harvard sucks. Lawler starts talking about Molly wanting to sleep with Nowinski and those old awkward feelings start up again. Regal is finally sent into the corner for the hot tag off to Booker so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down with both teams getting near falls off secondary finishers. An atomic drop into the ax kick puts Regal away.
Rating: C. This was your standard tag team formula match, making it by far and away the best thing on the show thus far. Booker and Goldust are a legitimately entertaining tag team and therefore they’re stuck spinning their wheels while HHH accuses Booker of attacking Shawn for his weekly table scraps.
HHH accuses the Un-Americans of attacking Shawn and hits a table with the hammer.
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria
Molly is on commentary and oh my this is going to get rough in a hurry. Twenty seconds into the match, Lawler flat out asks Molly if she’s a virgin. Lawler: “Do you have a fondness for cherries?” The match starts slowly and Victoria hurts her knee as the cherry jokes continue. Naturally it’s a ruse so Victoria can kick Trish in the face, which greatly pleases Molly. JR says it makes her sound “multi-orgasmic”. Trish chops away and now let’s talk about how far Spike got with Molly. A sunset flip is reversed and Victoria grabs the ropes for the pin.
Rating: F. This has nothing to do with the match. Lawler was as disturbing as I’ve ever heard him here and JR didn’t even do much to stop him. There’s no excuse for this story to exist and it’s absolutely disgusting. I know Katie Vick is still coming up this year but this might be even worse as it’s about a real person and is supposed to be from a face.
Show is annoyed at HHH accusing him too.
Tag Team Titles: Hardy Boys vs. Un-Americans
Storm and Christian are defending. Matt and Christian slug it out to start before it’s off to Jeff for the high pitch pop. The heels take over with some double teaming but Jeff scores with the Whisper in the Wind. The hot tag brings in Matt for the Twist of Fate but Christian gets in a cheap shot to give Storm two. Jeff dives off the barricade to take Christian down again and the Swanton connects, only to have Christian pull the referee out for the DQ.
Rating: D. Another horribly uninteresting match here with the Hardys not exactly putting in a ton of effort. The Un-Americans are fine for a basic heel team and they can wrestle a good enough match but you need more than four minutes against an unmotivated team. Nothing to see here but at least Jeff is getting a response.
Test goes after the Hardys until Undertaker makes the save. The Un-Americans bail so Undertaker steals a police motorcycle and gives chase.
Here’s Bischoff to deal with the Howard and Lillian issue, which the fans didn’t seem to know existed. First of all though, Eric promises a surprise for HHH later on. I’m so thrilled. Anyway, the announcers take turns plugging the new movie XXX and of course we see a trailer. Finkel implies that Lillian enjoys servicing multiple sailors and this time he’s the heel, unlike ANYONE who makes fun of Molly for being a virgin. Bischoff sends out 3 Minute Warning to destroy Lillian because this is supposed to be entertaining.
Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam
Jericho starts fast and hammers away in the corner but gets monkey flipped for two. Seriously who goes for a cover after a monkey flip? A slingshot flip dive puts Jericho down again until he grabs a release German suplex to really take over. Jericho goes for the turnbuckle pad but settles for a spinning kick to the face instead. The Lionsault hits knees and Van Dam’s Rolling Thunder is good for two. Rob reverses the Walls attempt into a small package for two and there’s the ref bump. Chris chairs him down but Flair comes in with a chair to Jericho’s head, setting up the Five Star for the pin.
Rating: B-. Match of the night by far here and that’s something that this show was dying for at this point. Flair vs. Jericho should be a lot of fun and Van Dam can do….something for Summerslam. The match was pretty good but this show is just so far beyond saving that it doesn’t matter at this point.
Bischoff is on his way to the ring with a surprise for HHH. This is perhaps the most unnecessary scene I can remember in wrestling this year.
Here’s Bischoff to introduce HHH for his big surprise. The surprise is a live feed from San Antonio so HHH can talk to Shawn. They’re cool at the moment and it seems that the Pedigree is forgotten. We get to hear them make up on air until HHH finally gets to the point by asking if Shawn remembers anything.
That’s a big negative so HHH promises to find out who did it. We have a break in the case though: the Greensboro police have sent Shawn some security footage, which he hasn’t actually watched yet. We see the video, it’s really blurry, Shawn enhances it, and it’s HHH. I mean, you could see that before it was enhanced but let’s stretch this out even longer. HHH admits it (well he kind of had to) and apparently his motive was to show that Shawn needed HHH’s protection. From HHH you mean?
Anyway the doctors have told Shawn that he’ll make a 100% recovery. Say by….Summerslam? HHH: “What are you going to do? Talk me to death?” Shawn wants to fight at Summerslam, even though HHH asks what happens if Shawn can’t take care of his family anymore. Michaels doesn’t really care and the fight is set for Summerslam to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. This is a rather interesting case where I remember the ending very differently. At the time, I LOVED the idea of Shawn coming back to face HHH in a fight at Summerslam but that’s all I remember about about the segment and really the show in general. While the announcement was a good idea and came off well, almost EVERYTHING else was a mess and really kept everything from having a chance.
Before we get to the rest of this mess, let’s look at the big angle. Now keep in mind that HHH knew the whole idea throughout the show. I get the idea of wanting to put up a front but what in the world was the point of doing that if you’re going to do the big reveal just a week later? Set this up, wait a few weeks and THEN do the HHH reveal. Either that or just cut out the whole Pedigree thing from a few weeks ago. What’s the point of having HHH run around for a week and waste our time? Did he really think he was going to get away with it? I know he has delusions of grandeur but this was a stretch even for him.
That leaves us with the rest of the show, which included a battle of the ring announcers, a horrible table match, an even worse hardcore match, Minidust and finally, an absolutely unnecessary and deplorable batch of commentary during the Trish vs. Victoria match. There’s a difference between bad wrestling and a ridiculous waste of time with this one being far more of the latter than the former.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
NXT – January 4, 2017: With a Lot of Hitting Him in the Face
NXT Date: January 4, 2017
Location: Margaret Court Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We’re back with another special show as it’s another two hour house show, this time from Australia. Again we’ve seen most of the main event but just like last week, we should get to see more than we already got a few weeks back. Other than that, almost none of this matters aside from having good matches. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Revival vs. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss
Dawson and Moss start things off as the fans are rather into this early on. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Tino vs. Wilder as the slow pace continues. Tino slams Dash so Moss can get two off an elbow drop. Moss fights off Revival as Tino just stands there and lets the double teaming ensue.
Riddick can’t fight them off forever though and the top guys (Graves: “THEY’RE STILL TOP GUYS!”) take over as you might expect. An elbow finally misses and the diving tag brings in Tino for the house cleaning. Wilder pulls Sabbatelli to the floor though and Moss grabs a rollup for two. Back in and the Shatter Machine puts Moss away at 11:00.
Rating: C. This was a long squash, which makes for some uninteresting matches on house shows. Revival were almost the faces here, which made for a really awkward match. It’s certainly not bad or anything but this is such a strange style for NXT, which is so based on building up to matches instead of one offs like this one.
Elias Samson/Bobby Roode vs. Tye Dillinger/Buddy Murphy
Samson gets annoyed at the fans cutting off his singing until Roode cuts him off again for a much more popular entrance. Murphy is the home country boy here with Graves saying it’s so Murphy can know someone likes him. Roode starts with Murphy but lets Elias know he’s got an eye on the other Canadian.
We hit the posing early on with Graves suggesting that Phillips and Murphy go box kangaroos together. A kick to the face gives Murphy two as the fans chant TEN. It’s off to Dillinger but Roode bails before any contact is made. With the DRIFT AWAY chants rolling, Samson works on the arm and gets the ten treatment. A slingshot splash gets two and, according to Phillips, kangaroos can’t hop backwards.
Roode is dragged in but Tye beats both of them up anyway, only to be taken down by a knee to the back. The fans still don’t like Samson and call him some very rude names before switching to a GLORIOUS chant. For some reason Roode won’t rain down right hands in the corner so it’s an a superkick to set up the double tag. Murphy comes in and cleans house, including a bad looking hurricanrana to Roode. A better looking flip dive takes him out, leaving Dillinger to hit the Tyebreaker to put Samson away at 11:19.
Rating: C+. This was a bit more my style with a standard tag formula and wrestlers that the fans were actually interested in. Also, as expected, NXT isn’t about to give us Dillinger and Roode being involved in a fall, as they shouldn’t here. That’s still a big enough feud for one more TV match so why waste it here?
Liv Morgan vs. Billie Kay vs. Ember Moon
As expected, Kay is the big crowd favorite but bails to the floor so the other two can slug it out. Well as much slugging as Morgan is going to do. Billie tries to steal a pin but gets caught in that rolling sunset flip to give Morgan some near falls. A double bulldog puts Kay and Moon down so Liv covers one but gets kicked out onto the other over and over in a clever spot.
Back up and Billie hits Eat Defeat for two on Moon, followed by an armbar into a suplex. The fans want to know if Billie will be their girl (she’s no Bayley) but settle for Liv getting superkicked off the apron. Moon kicks Billie in the face again and all three are knocked out to the floor. Back in and Kay gets double kicked but Liv breaks up the Eclipse. Instead, Billie powerbombs Liv off the top and walks into the Eclipse to give Moon the pin at 8:28.
Rating: C+. Another totally fine match here as Moon gets to look strong again. I could easily see Moon getting her shot at the title over Wrestlemania weekend though I’m not sure if that’s a big enough title match for Asuka. You know, assuming Nikki Cross doesn’t take the title from her in San Antonio.
Tag Team Titles: DIY vs. TM61
TM61 is challenging and it’s Ciampa and Thorn trading near falls to start. That earns a quick handshake and the fans are VERY pleased so far. Miller and Gargano come in and it’s one heck of a right hand to send Johnny into the corner. A very delayed vertical suplex gets two on Gargano so it’s back to Ciampa for some arm cranking. Thorn gets two off a falcon’s arrow and we take a break.
Back with Ciampa breaking up a handspring elbow and bringing Gargano back in. Johnny grabs a sunset flip but leans forward and pulls on Thorn’s neck for a weird looking submission hold. That goes nowhere so Thorn dropkicks Ciampa so it can be back to Miller for the house cleaning. Johnny’s spear through the ropes cuts him off for another near fall. A tornado DDT/enziguri combo gives Gargano two more but Thorn powerbombs his own partner to set up a Tower of Doom on Ciampa.
Clever spot and Gargano shoving Miller into the pin for the save made it better. Project Ciampa gives us another near fall and the fans are WAY into the Aussies. Miller and Gargano slug it out in the middle of the ring with Johnny getting the better of it. Thorn is knocked to the floor and the running knee/superkick combo retains the titles at 18:18.
Rating: B. DIY really can do no wrong at this point and that’s always going to be entertaining. I’m still worried about the match against the Authors of Pain but at least we had one heck of a pair of matches on these international tours. TM61 is still good but they’re several steps behind the champs and Revival, which kind of leaves them out in the cold.
We get the big post match show of respect.
Recap of Nakamura vs. Joe.
NXT Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Samoa Joe
Nakamura is defending and this is inside a cage. The champ takes him down by the leg to start but they grapple up against the ropes with neither being able to get much of an advantage. Joe gets taken into the corner for Good Vibrations so he sends Nakamura hard into the cage to even things up.
The corner enziguri gets two and we take an early break. Back with Joe kicking him in the face again and dropping an elbow for two. A weak LET’S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS chant is quickly booed down as Joe slowly beats on the champ. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Nakamura fights back up with the running kick to the face. Joe gets in his own kick but misses the backsplash to put both guys down for a bit.
It’s Joe up first with his rotating submissions but Nakamura slips out of the Crossface. Instead Joe sends him into the cage a few more times and we take a second break. Back with Nakamura hitting more knees to the head and lifting Joe for a big German suplex. Kinshasa is countered with a powerslam and the Koquina Clutch doesn’t last long. Nakamura knees him in the head again for two and BLASTS Joe with a top rope Kinshasa. Back to back regular versions retain the title at 26:15.
Rating: B+. Again, the clipped version of this from a few weeks ago is almost unfair as it only showed about thirteen minutes instead of over twice that long. This was a good way to definitively put Nakamura over Joe for good and let both guys move on to something else. It really wouldn’t surprise me if that means the main roster for Joe so at least he went out on a high note.
Replays wrap it up.
Overall Rating: B-. I actually had a bit more fun watching this one than last week’s as the matches felt a little more important, possibly due to a full time team challenging DIY instead of a makeshift pairing. It’s still a good show but I’m really looking forward to getting back to the regular show instead of these specials where there’s no storyline development. The wrestling has been fine but I need a bit more than that.
Results
Revival b. Tino Sabbatelli/Riddick Moss – Shatter Machine to Moss
Tye Dillinger/Buddy Murphy b. Bobby Roode/Elias Samson – Tyebreaker to Samson
Ember Moon b. Billie Kay and Liv Morgan – Eclipse to Kay
DIY b. TM61 – Running knee/superkick combination to Miller
Shinsuke Nakamura b. Samoa Joe – Kinshasa
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992: And it’s All for the Title
Royal Rumble 1992 Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan
This year’s Rumble is often called the greatest ever, but I wonder how much of that is because of Bobby Heenan’s masterful commentary. The WWF Title is on the line in the Rumble, which to date (2012) is the only time this has ever happened. I could see that being a really good stipulation again, but for some reason it never has again. I remember loving this show so let’s get to it.
We start with the usual listing of most of the people in the Rumble, all of whom are #1 contenders I suppose.
Heenan is betting on Flair for tonight’s Rumble. Also we’ve got a NEW Intercontinental Champion as Mountie has beaten Bret Hart over the weekend. Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.
Orient Express vs. New Foundation
It’s Owen/Neidhart as the Foundation here. Owen and Kato start thing off here. All four guys look like they’re in pajamas here. Owen takes him down to the mat by the arm before climbing up the ropes (not in the corner mind you but just the ropes) to backflip into the ring for an armdrag. A rana puts Kato down and it’s off to Neidhart vs. Tanaka. Tanaka gets run over as well, so here’s Owen to beat him up.
Tanaka gets caught by an enziguri and it’s back to Neidhart. The Express gets clotheslined down by Jim and Owen adds a double cross body for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same for Hart so Kato tries to come in sans tag. The distraction lets Fuji hit Owen with the cane to finally give the Express control. Tanaka hooks a chinlock as this isn’t exactly as fast paced as last year’s opener.
Owen gets to do Bret’s chest to the buckle bump before charging into a superkick in the other corner for two. After Kato comes in and does nothing, here’s Tanaka again for a headbutt to the abdomen. A chinlock goes nowhere but a headbutt gets two on Owen. Neidhart gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it of course. The distraction allows Fuji to put the cane on the corner and Owen’s shoulder goes through it in a loud crunch.
It only gets two though as Owen gets a leg over the rope. Kato channels his inner Anderson with a hammerlock slam before it’s back to Tanaka. Owen finally escapes and things break down for a bit, resulting in a double clothesline for two on Hart. A superkick to the chest doesn’t put Owen down, but Tanaka jumping over Kato to land on Hart’s back does. Hart comes back with a dropkick to take out both members of the Express at once. There’s the hot tag to Neidhart and house is cleaned. Owen dives onto Kato before a Rocket Launcher gets the pin on Tanaka.
Rating: B-. Decent match here but it felt like they were trying to do the same match that worked so well in 1991. The problem was the Express wasn’t anything that good anymore and the team was gone almost immediately after this. Either way, the match wasn’t bad and it’s fine for an opener. The New Foundation never quite did anything until 1994 when Owen was a heel.
We get a clip from the house show where Mountie won the IC Title from Bret. Post match he kept beating on Bret but Roddy Piper came out for the save.
Jimmy and Mountie brag about winning the title. Mountie is ready for Piper tonight.
Piper is ready for Mountie and tells Mountie to just try to take his manhood.
Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie
Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.
Rating: D. The match itself sucked but there was never any doubt about this match at all. Mountie is about as textbook a definition of a transitional champion as you’ll ever see and the place went NUTS when Piper won the title. This would be Piper’s only singles title in the WWF and his only title period (other than those before he got to the WWF in the first place) until he won the US Title in WCW for less than two weeks.
Hogan says he has no friends in the Rumble tonight. He talks to Lord Alfred Hayes about tea because Hayes is British and that’s about it.
The Bushwhackers and Jamison…..oh geez it’s him. This is one of the most annoying characters in wrestling history. He’s supposed to be the ultimate nerd, with a nasal voice, taped up glasses, a suit that doesn’t fit, and every other stereotype you can think of. Oh and he smells like sardines apparently. Let’s get this over with.
Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers
This is more about the managers (Genius and Jamison respectively) more than the teams. Jamison chews on his tie as the Whackers do their arm thing to the audience. The Whackers lick each other and Jamison pulls out a roll for a snack. One of the Beverlies slaps Butch in the head so the Beverlies get chased to the floor. We FINALLY get started with Blake vs. Luke with the blonde (the Beverlies) in control.
The Beverly gets bitten on the tights and the Whackers clear the ring again. Jamison throws bread at Genius as the match stalls again. Now Jamison blows his nose in his sock. The fans don’t care at all here. Beau comes in now to beat on Butch but for the third time in like five minutes the Whackers clear the ring again. The Beverlies try to sneak up on the Whackers but keep getting chased off.
Double teaming to Luke’s back finally gets us down to a match, but let’s keep the camera on Jamison. Jamison keeps chewing on his tie as this keeps up the dullness. A guillotine gets two on Luke as we hit the highlight of the match. No seriously, other than that it’s been “comedy” and punching. Genius slaps Jamison to no reaction from anyone at all. A neckbreaker and legdrop hit Luke for no cover. Luke gets away with a move that I’m too bored to remember and it’s off to Butch. Things break down and Beau hits a top rope ax handle on Butch for the pin.
Rating: T. As in The Worst Match In Rumble History. Literally. Up to this point the Rumble has had some dull matches but this was absolutely horrible. There’s nothing of value here at all and it went on for FIFTEEN MINUTES. The Beverlies weren’t even over so this just kept going and going without ever getting anywhere. Absolutely terrible.
Jamison kicks Genius in the shin post match in another moment that gets no reaction.
The LOD says they’ll still have the belts after tonight and the Disasters’ tongues will be hanging out like dead deer. Did I mention Hawk was pretty insane at this point?
Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters
LOD is defending here. Typhoon (formerly Tugboat) and Hawk start things off. They collide a few times with no one going anywhere so Hawk goes up and takes Typhoon down with a top rope clothesline. Off to Quake who Hawk can’t hurt either. A dropkick doesn’t have any effect so Hawk convinces Quake to try one of his own. Guess how well that one goes. Off to Animal for a slugout which is a draw.
Animal starts hitting the ropes and speeds WAY up before they hit a double clothesline to put both guys down. Animal picks up Quake for a slam but can’t turn him over, giving Quake two. Off to Typhoon who gets kicked in the face and clotheslined down. Back to the Bird Man as we get a lot more of the collisions that went over so well earlier. Typhoon finally takes him down and Hawk is in trouble via a lot of back pain.
It’s time for the hallmark of any power match: the bearhug. Quake comes back in and walks over Hawk a few times. Back to the bearhug for a little more time killing until it’s finally back to Animal. Everybody brawls to the floor and it’s a lame double countout. Oh wait Typhoon got back in so the Disasters win. Sure why not.
Rating: D. I love the LOD but this match sucked. At the end of the day, this was the totally wrong matchup for them as their entire offense revolved around throwing people around. This was around the time when Hawk was literally on the verge of a breakdown every day but Vince couldn’t quite convince then to drop the titles, until they did it on a house show which was never aired because LOD didn’t want to lose their heat. It was a different time to say the least.
The Disasters and Hart yell in the back a lot.
Roddy Piper is all fired up about winning the title and dedicates the win to his son Colt. He wants the world title now.
We get a clip from the Barber Shop incident where Shawn turned heel, igniting his singles push in the greatest team split ever.
Ric Flair says he drew #3 but when your name is Ric Flair, that’s not a problem. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so Heenan doesn’t know yet.
Time for the interviews from people in the Rumble: Savage, Sid, Repo Man, Bulldog, Roberts, Flair (with Perfect talking with him too. You know, because Flair needs someone to talk for him), Undertaker (Bearer talks for him a bit too) and Hogan.
We get a statement from the biggest waste of oxygen that has ever been a boss in wrestling, Jack Tunney. He basically says the winner of this (he forgets the name of the Rumble) is the world champion. As he’s talking, here’s a recap of the title situation. Taker beat Hogan for the title at Survivor Series but Flair interfered. Hogan got a rematch about a week later but also kind of cheated to win it back. The title was vacated and put up for grabs in this year’s Rumble, making it by far the biggest Rumble of all time up to that point.
Royal Rumble
Davey Boy Smith is #1 and DiBiase is #2. The slugout is on quickly with Bulldog pounding away but getting sent to the apron. DiBiase stops paying attention and doesn’t realize that Smith didn’t hit the floor. A clothesline is enough to get rid of DiBiase and leave Bulldog alone in the ring. In at #3: Ric Flair. Heenan: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!” Gorilla starts listing off stats about how Flair has no chance and Heenan explodes. He says he can’t be objective and you can hear Gorilla roll his eyes.
The gorilla press puts Flair down but he pokes Smith in the eyes to get a breather. It’s only temporary though as Davey clotheslines him down. Jerry Sags is #4 and HE BE CLUBBERIN TONY!!! Smith gets double teamed as Heenan is trying to figure out how long Flair would have to be in the match. Smith comes back with a double clothesline and knocks Sags out. Notice how they’re keeping the ring emptier here, which is a very good change from the 1991 version.
Haku is #5 and he immediately goes after Smith. Flair goes after Haku, sending Heenan into another fit. “HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” Flair heads to the floor under the rope as Haku hits a piledriver on Smith. Flair goes after Haku again and hits the knee drop. Haku pounds on Ric in the corner but Smith tosses the Tongan. Shawn Michaels is #6 and he starts firing away punches to Flair. A superkick drops Flair and a gorilla press drops Shawn. I’ll let you guess who slammed Michaels.
Flair comes back to drop both guys as Heenan wants a drink. His panic in every line he says is great stuff. Shawn gets caught on the ropes and crotched, followed by Davey throwing him to the apron. Tito Santana is #7 as we get down to a decent tag match, another Rumble tradition. Flair gets Smith to the apron but Tito saves. In far less than two minutes, it’s Barbarian at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody. When I managed him he barely liked me!”
Things slow down a bit as Davey keeps getting sent to the apron. Flair tries to dump Tito and Shawn at the same time but can’t get either guy out. Texas Tornado is #9 and Heenan is losing it. “THEY JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER!” Von Erich goes right after Flair before shifting over to Michaels. Smith slingshots Michaels, who has to jump a LONG way to get to the buckle.
Santana stomps on Flair as Repo Man is #10. Santana hits a cross body on Barbarian and Flair hits Tornado with LOUD chops. Valentine is #11 and he gets in a chopping match with Flair. Shawn is literally hanging on by his feet. Nikolai Volkoff is #12 (Heenan: “A 320lb Lithuanian!” but Repo Man dumps him in about a minute. Apparently he was a sub for Jannetty after the window thing. That makes more sense. While that’s going on, Valentine has Flair in the Figure Four to send Heenan into a new level of panic.
The Boss Man is #13 and he punches everyone in sight. Valentine is out and Shawn starts his goofy selling. Boss Man throws out Repo Man, giving us a current grouping of Von Erich, Michaels, Boss Man, Haku, Santana, Smith and Flair. Flair backdrops Smith out and does the same to Von Erich in just a few seconds. Hercules is #14 as Santana and Shawn eliminate each other.
Barbarian helps Flair with Boss Man, so Flair turns on Barbarian because he, you know, Flair. Hercules dumps Barbarian so Flair dumps Hercules. It’s Boss Man and Flair alone now as Heenan needs oxygen. Boss Man hits a spin kick of all things and a right hand, but misses a charge and eliminates himself. Heenan: “FLAIR WINS!”
Piper is #15 and the crowd is right back into this. We’re clearly into the second stage now and Heenan LOSES IT. Piper backdrops him down and they head to the floor for a bit. Back in and Piper goes old school with an airplane spin, making Bobby want to cry. There’s the sleeper but Jake Roberts is #16. This is when he’s pure evil so the crowd goes into a hush. Jake sits in the corner as Flair is still in the sleeper.
Roberts finally breaks up the hold and works over Piper before hitting the short clothesline o Flair. Piper breaks up the DDT (Heenan: “Oh thank you Piper. It’s not a skirt, it’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts Jake in the Figure Four, only to have Piper stomp away on Ric (Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD DIRTY SKUNK! IT IS A SKIRT!”). Jim Duggan is #17 and he immediately goes after Flair in the corner.
Jake atomic drops Duggan to put all four guys on the mat for a breather. IRS is #18 and he too goes after Flair. Duggan grabs IRS by the tie (Heenan: “He’s got him by the tongue!”) and pounds away. Duggan saves Piper for no apparent reason and Flair gets beaten up some more. Snuka is #19 and for some reason he saves Flair. Snuka headbutts Duggan which has no effect on either guy of course. Flair, ever the grateful guy, pokes Snuka in the eye.
Piper chops Flair half to death in the corner and the Undertaker is #20. At the moment we’ve got Taker, Flair, Piper, Snuka, IRS, Roberts and Duggan in the ring. Taker immediately knocks out Snuka, so Flair goes after the Dead Man. Heenan: “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???” Duggan goes over to Taker and is immediately kicked in the balls. We get one of the major clock issues that would happen throughout the match, as Gorilla says Flair has been in there over 42 minutes. The whole match hasn’t even gone 38 yet and Flair didn’t even start. This will get stretched even farther later.
IRS goes to the middle rope for some reason but hops down a few seconds later. Taker grabs Duggan and Flair by the throat as Randy Savage is #21. Roberts immediately hides on the floor until Taker decks Savage. Randy ducks Jake’s short clothesline and ERUPTS on him, eliminating Roberts via a high knee. Savage screws up by jumping over the top to get to Roberts. Taker goes to the floor and throws him back in, but Savage goes after Jake again. The ruling is that Savage wasn’t thrown to the floor so he’s still in. Ignore Andre eliminating himself in 1989 of course.
Flair comes back with a low blow on Taker which has zero effect at all. Berzerker is #22 and we’ve got IRS, Berzerker, Duggan, Savage, Flair, Piper and Undertaker. Berzerker hits a choke bomb on Savage as Virgil is #23. Everyone goes into one corner of the ring for some reason, with Flair chopping at Taker like a schmuck. Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is #24. Things slow down a bit as we need someone to come in and clear things out. Rick Martel is #25 and he pounds on the other Ric in the corner.
Savage dumps Mustafa and gets chokes by Taker for his efforts. Hogan is #26 (does he EVER get a bad number?) and he goes right for Taker and Flair. Heenan starts bargaining with God as Martel is sent through the ropes to the floor. Hogan clotheslines Taker out and dumps Berzerker as well. Duggan and Virgil put each other out as the ring clears up a lot. Skinner is #27, giving us Skinner, Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Martel and IRS.
Hogan puts Flair on the apron as Heenan wants another drink. A clothesline puts Flair down again and Sgt. Slaughter is #28. Someone dumps Skinner as Flair officially gets the Rumble record. Sure why not. Sid Justice is #29 and he goes for IRS. Flair pounds on Hogan before shifting over to Sid. Flair pulls Sid to the mat but Sid nips up and clotheslines him down. Warlord is #30, giving us a final grouping of Martel, Piper, Hogan, Flair, Savage, Sid, Slaughter, IRS and Warlord.
Hogan and Flair fight on the floor with Flair getting suplexed. Slaughter gets eliminated by Sid and Hogan kicks Flair down. Piper is sent to the apron by IRS but Piper grabs the tie to eliminate the tax dude. Hogan Hulks Up on Flair but stops to eliminate Warlord with Sid’s help. Justice dumps Martel and Piper, giving us a final four of Savage, Flair, Hogan and Sid. That’s quite a group.
Sid tosses Savage and Flair tries to chop Hogan in the corner because that’s what Ric Flair does. In a famous ending, Hogan punches Flair to the apron but as he’s dumping Ric out, Sid comes up from behind to dump Hulk. Hogan grabs Sid’s arm, allowing Flair to come up from behind and dump Justice, giving Flair the title and send Bobby into orgasmic bliss.
Rating: A. This is Ric Flair’s coming out party in the WWF and it worked perfectly. There are a few down parts to it and while the 1990 edition was more consistently exciting and had a better overall structure, this was all about drama. It also helps that the match actually meant something, as the title was officially on the line. Excellent Rumble and a true surprise to see Flair win the title.
Sid and Hogan have a shoving match post match, setting up their match at Wrestlemania.
Jack Tunney presents an exhausted Flair with the title in the back. Flair gives a victory speech, saying this is the greatest moment in his life. He says this is the only title that means you’re the best in the world and Heenan gushes some more.
Overall Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade because the stuff before the Rumble is HORRIBLE. The Rumble however is a masterpiece with Flair and it more than saves the show. There’s nothing else on the card that you would want to watch, other than maybe the Piper title win if you’re a big fan of the guy. Other than that though, there’s nothing to see here other than the Rumble itself.
Ratings Comparison
New Foundation vs. Orient Express
Original: C+
Redo: B-
Roddy Piper vs. Mountie
Original: B
Redo: D
Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers
Original: F-
Redo: T (For The Worst Match In Rumble History)
Natural Disasters vs. Legion of Doom
Original: D
Redo: D
Royal Rumble
Original: A+
Redo: A
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: B
Other than Piper, this is almost the same set of ratings.
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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1991: Warrior, We Barely Knew Ye
Royal Rumble 1991 Date: January 19, 1991
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper
So it’s 1991 now and the US is at war (kind of). Therefore, the main event here, other than the Rumble of course, is Warrior defending the world title against Slaughter. This is a major changeover from the old Rumble formula which was a bunch of nothing matches followed by the big battle royal to close the show. Well at least on PPV that is. This would become the norm after this (other than in 1992) so let’s get to it.
We open with the national anthem to really hammer home the AMERICA ROCKS theme.
We get the usual list of a bunch of people in the Rumble.
Piper goes on one his big America rants about how much he loves the troops.
Rockers vs. Orient Express
The Express are Kato and Tanaka. Kato is a white guy named Paul Diamond in a mask pretending to be a Japanese guy. Shawn gets jumped to start and hit with a big double backdrop. Marty dropkicks Kato to the floor and superkicks Tanaka down as the Rockers take over. The Rockers hit stereo suicide dives to take the Express (popular names for tag teams no?) down on the floor.
The crowd is LOVING the Rockers here because they’re AMERICAN! Jannetty and Kato start things off with Kato getting caught in a headlock. Things speed up already and Marty controls with a headscissors on the mat. That gets turned into a backslide for two for Jannetty and we have a standoff. Marty makes the Express collide with each other before working on Tanaka’s arm.
Shawn comes in off the top with another shot to the arm but Tanaka comes back with a kick to the face and a chinlock. We get an overly complicated running the ropes spot which results in the Express having their heads rammed together. It’s still Tanaka vs. Shawn here and we go from a chinlock to a sleeper by Shawn. Marty tries to come in for no apparent reason, allowing Kato to blast Michaels in the back to give the Express control for the first time.
Everything breaks down and we get multiple do-see-do sequences, finally resulting in the Express being rammed into each other and being sent to the floor. Shawn busts out a kind of prototype 619 before the Rockers dive on both members of the Express in a cool spot. Back to Kato vs. Marty and we hit another chinlock. Shawn comes back in for a vertical suplex but Tanaka breaks up a monkey flip by guillotining Shawn from the apron.
Tanaka comes in and we get the World’s Greatest Tag Team spot of Tanaka jumping over Kato’s back to land on Shawn’s back as Shawn is draped over the ropes. A shot to Shawn’s throat keeps him down and it’s off to the nerve hold. Things slow down a lot as Kato comes in to chop away. A superkick puts Shawn down again (how appropriate) but he comes back by slamming Tanaka’s face down into the mat.
The place is really getting into the Rockers here as Kato takes his belt off. The Express tries to clothesline him with it but Shawn dives onto the belt to ran both Express members into each other. Hot tag brings in Marty to clean house and a powerslam gets two on Kato. Tanaka breaks up a backslide attempt so Shawn trips up Kato to retaliate. Everything breaks down again and Tanaka breaks up the Rocket Launcher. Kato slingshots Marty into a Tanaka chop and Jannetty is in trouble. They load it up again, but Shawn blasts Tanaka, allowing Marty to counter the slingshot into a sunset flip on Tanaka for the pin out of nowhere.
Rating: B+. This would have been a masterpiece if they had cut out a minute or two of the chinlocks. Still though, this follows the Nitro formula to the letter: take four small guys, give them a long time, get an exciting match. That’s the perfect choice for an opener and it worked well here. The Rockers would continue to be awesome for the rest of the year until splitting in December in the famous Barber Shop incident.
Macho Man wants a shot at the winner of the title match. Slaughter has agreed to this idea for some reason, and Sherri is on her way to the arena to get Warrior to agree to the same.
Here’s Sherri on the platform (yeah back then they had an interview platform along with the one in the back) to call out Warrior. Savage is watching in the back and Sherri takes forever to get Warrior to come out. She begs the patriotic Warrior and tries to seduce him (oh dear that’s a terrifying thought) and gets on her knees, only to have Warrior shout NO. Savage LOSES IT in the back over this. Somehow these segments took like seven minutes.
Big Bossman vs. Barbarian
This is part of a storyline that worked quite well until the ending. Rick Rude had insulted Boss Man’s mother, but Boss Man was told he had to beat every member of the Heenan Family before he got a match with Rude. Unfortunately Rude left the company before Boss Man got to him so Boss Man got Mr. Perfect at Mania….but he didn’t win Perfect’s IC title and that basically ended the storyline. Still though, the build was good and it gave Boss Man something to do for months. The eventual payoff was him literally dropping a big metal ball on Heenan’s ribs.
Anyway Barbarian pounds away to start but gets kicked in the head and elbowed down. They head to the floor for Boss Man to send Barbarian into the post before heading back inside. Barbarian goes up but jumps into a punch, sending him right back to the floor. Barbie suplexes him down and punches Boss Man in the face, knocking him into the ropes where his feet get tied up.
Barbarian pounds away a bit before ramming Boss Man back first into the post. Off to a bearhug by Barbarian followed by an elbow for two. Back to the bearhug for a little bit longer until Boss Man headbutts (bad stereotypes!) his way out. A splash in the corner misses and Barbarian gets two off a rollup, only to have Boss Man get the same off a clothesline. They hit head to head and both guys go down.
Barbarian is on his feet first and goes up and hits his top rope clothesline for two. There’s the Boss Man Slam but Boss Man walks around before covering, allowing Barbie to grab a rope. An awkward looking piledriver puts Boss Man down for no cover again. Barbarian goes up for a cross body of all things but Boss Man rolls through it for the pin.
Rating: C. This was a fine match but the ending is kind of weird. I have no idea why they didn’t have the Slam end the match here but for some reason it kept going for another minute or two afterwards. Still though, decent enough match and Boss Man was just CRAZY over at this point. The hot crowd helped a lot here.
Slaughter and General Adnan rant for a bit and say Slaughter is winning the title tonight. For some reason while Slaughter is talking they shift to another camera so he has to turn ninety degrees.
The Warrior isn’t worried about Slaughter and says he’ll give the orders tonight.
Quick recap on the world title match: Slaughter is a former American patriot and is now changing over to Iraq because he’s that kind of a villain. Warrior is defending and that’s about all there is to it.
WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior
Gorilla gives a disclaimer, saying that Slaughter and Adnan’s views don’t represent those of the WWF or most of America. If that was anyone other than Gorilla Monsoon, I’d say he wasn’t allowed to speak for America, but Gorilla Monsoon speaks for me. There’s a t-shirt idea in there somewhere. The belt is purple tonight in case you’re wondering. Yeah Warrior went a bit nuts (shocking I know) with having multiple belt colors for some reason. The heels try to attack him with the Iraqi Flag but Warrior will have nothing of it and clotheslines them both down.
Slaughter gets the flag shoved into his mouth and Warrior pounds away. He chokes Slaughter with said flag and chops away in the corner as Slaughter is in trouble. Warrior sends Slaughter into the corner for his over the buckle bump to the floor. Here’s Sherri to trip up Warrior and draw him back up towards the entrance. Savage is waiting on Warrior and beats the tar out of the champion with light fixtures as Slaughter gets a breather.
The Sarge wisely stops the count a few times, allowing Warrior to get back in. Slaughter pounds away in the corner as he starts softening up the back for the Camel Clutch. Apparently the middle eastern moveset comes with becoming an Iraqi sympathizer. The crowd absolutely HATES Slaughter here and boos anything he does. Warrior gets sent into the buckle but they clothesline each other down. Naturally a single clothesline is enough to counteract that long run of offense by Slaughter and get us back to even.
Slaughter gets up first and puts on a bearhug for a LONG time. Warrior breaks it up but walks right into a backbreaker for two. There’s the Camel Clutch but Warrior’s legs are under the ropes. Warrior Warriors Up and beats Slaughter down but here’s Sherri again to frenzy up the crowd. Warrior loads her up in the gorilla press and throws her onto a charging Savage in the aisle. Savage pops up again and blasts Warrior in the face with his scepter, allowing Slaughter to drop an elbow for the pin and the title, STUNNING the crowd.
Rating: D+. The match was dull for the most part but the heat was insane. The crowd audibly calls this BS and you can’t really argue that point. Aside from that, this sets up Wrestlemania really well, as we need a REAL AMERICAN to take the title back. Pay no attention to the fact that the war had already been over by Wrestlemania.
Gorilla LOSES IS when the title change is announced.
Koko B. Ware vs. The Mountie
The crowd is still in shock at this point so here’s a match to pass some time. Mountie has Jimmy Hart with him here and is doing the shock stick gimmick still. A lot of stalling to start things off here until Koko hits that dropkick of his. Ware cranks on the arm after Mountie hides on the floor for a bit. Mountie backdrops him to the floor in a big bump and takes over. Hart gets in a shouting match with Frankie the parrot as this match drags on and on. Koko gets a quick two on a sunset flip as Jimmy argues with Frankie some more.
A piledriver is broken up by Ware but Mountie pounds away even more to stop the comeback. Koko grabs a neckbreaker and hits a few headbutts to put Mountie down. The missile dropkick (Koko hits the kick and lands on his feet. That’s AWESOME) drops Mountie again and a cross body gets two. Koko hits the ropes a few times but charges into a…..into a……I think it was a choke takedown or something like that. Whatever it was it gets the pin for Mountie.
Rating: D. This match sucked but it was the only thing they could have done here. They had to do something to give the fans a chance to breathe after that previous title match and while it didn’t really work, they made the right move here. Mountie would be IC Champion the next year while Koko would be in a tag team I believe.
Savage says he’s the next WWF Champion and runs away with Sherri as he can hear Warrior pounding on the door.
Gorilla and Piper lament Warrior’s loss.
Slaughter says he told us all he’d win.
Gorilla and Piper rants some more.
Some fans get to send messages to some American troops in the middle east.
We hear about Hogan going to various American armed forces bases because he’s not allowed to go to Saudi Arabia at the moment. Thankfully Piper mentions that he and Hogan don’t agree on everything.
We hear from some Rumble participants: Roberts, Earthquake, Valentine, Tornado, the LOD, Undertaker (still with Brother Love), Duggan, Martel, British Bulldog, Perfect (IC Champion here) and Tugboat.
Piper talks about having lunch with Virgil today. Remember that.
DiBiase and Virgil are ready to face Dustin and Dusty. Ted talks about having bought and paid for Virgil, who glares as DiBiase talks.
Ted Dibiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes
Dustin is BRAND new here as this is his first WWF match. It’s also Dusty’s last in the WWF/E for over fifteen years. This is the blowoff to DiBiase vs. Dusty which started at Summerslam with Ted buying Sapphire and taking her from Dusty. Sapphire left soon afterwards because she didn’t want to be away from Dusty. Anyway the Rhodes Family takes over to start with elbows a go-go, sending the heels to a huddle on the floor.
Dustin, only 21 here, starts with Virgil who barely ever wrestled at this point. I mean it was like once every year or two. Dustin hits a clothesline and a dropkick to send Virgil (the real name of Dusty for you trivia geeks) to the floor as DiBiase is getting frustrated. Another clothesline puts Virgil on the floor again and Ted yells a lot. Off to DiBiase to backdrop the young gun but a second attempt results in a face jam.
The Rhodes dudes hammer DiBiase back and forth with elbows to send him to the floor as well. Here’s Big Dust who puts on a sleeper but Virgil breaks it up. Back to Dustin for a dropkick for two, but a charging knee at Virgil misses to put Dustin down. Virgil stays on the knee and wraps it around the post, as does his boss. The heels try some double teaming, but Virgil accidentally clotheslines DiBiase. Ted beats the tar out of him, allowing Dustin to tag his dad. Said dad is rolled up for the pin almost immediately by DiBiase.
Rating: D+. Another dull match here but it was almost all for the ending and post match stuff. Like I said, the Rhodes guys were on their way out so they didn’t have a chance at all in this one. Dusty stopped meaning anything months before this and it was the right move to go back to WCW for him where he could do what he wanted and book as well.
Post match we get the important part of the match. DiBiase yells at Virgil and says he’s tired of having to save his worker. He tells Virgil to get the belt and wrap it around his boss’ waist, but Virgil is mad. DiBiase keeps running his mouth, talking about how Virgil needs this job. DiBiase turns his back on Virgil and turns into a belt shot to the head, drawing one of the handful of pops in Virgil’s entire career.
Hogan is ready for the Rumble and wants the title from the un-American too. Gene tells Hogan that Slaughter might have just defaced the American Flag. Oh you know it’s on now. Hulk goes into such a rant that he forgets the name of the guy America is at war with (Sadaam Hussein) in a semi-famous bit.
Royal Rumble
Bret gets #1 for the second time in four years. He and Neidhart are tag champions here and he gets to face Dino Bravo at #2. Feeling out process to start until Bret clotheslines Bravo to the apron. Bravo comes back but misses an elbow. We go to an annoying wide shot as Greg Valentine is #3. I think he’s a face here but it was such an unmemorable turn that I can’t remember if it had happened yet or not. Well he’s fighting Bravo so I’d assume so. Actually he does a bit better than that by eliminating Bravo quickly.
Bret atomic drops Greg down and adds a clothesline for good measure but he can’t get the elimination. Here’s Paul Roma of Power and Glory at #4. Actually the team might have broken up by this point. Again they weren’t that memorable, just like most of this time period aside from the top stars. Bret rams their heads together, causing Roma and Valentine to fight for a bit.
Here’s Kerry Von Erich to give us I think three faces and one heel, or at least two faces a heel and a tweener. Bret misses an elbow drop off the middle rope and everyone pounds away on various people until Rick Martel is #6. Bret almost puts Martel out but Roma makes a save. Well no one ever accused him of being all that bright. Saba Simba (Tony Atlas as a tribal guy. It didn’t last long) is #7 as things continue to go slowly. Von Erich puts the Claw on Martel and that’s about the extent of the highlights.
To really liven things up, Butch is #8. That’s actually not sarcastic as the fans do the Bushwhacker arm swing. Martel puts Simba out to keep us at an equal number of average guys and Bret. Don’t get me wrong: these guys are talented, but other than Bret, most of them never got above the midcard. Jake Roberts is #9 to go immediately after Martel and give us an actual feud (Martel blinded him, leading to an AWFUL blowoff match at Mania).
Martel bails under the bottom rope and Jake goes right after him through the ropes. Martel gets put on the apron and punched in the face as everyone else just punches people. Hercules is #10 to give us Power and Glory in the ring. Why would I have thought they were broken up? They had a match at Mania. Bret gets double teamed in the corner but nothing comes of it.
There are too many people in the ring at the moment at I think eight. Tito Santana is #11 as Roma misses a cross body to eliminate himself. FINALLY we get someone to clear some of these guys out with Undertaker coming in at #12. He’s still this unknown monster at this point and would be that for years. Taker puts out Bret as soon as he gets there and beats up Von Erich for fun. That could have been a solid house show feud.
Jimmy Snuka is #13 as Taker throws out Butch. There are still way too many people in the ring, as we currently have Valentine, Tornado, Martel, Roberts, Hercules, Santana, Snuka and Undertaker. Taker chokes on Von Erich a bit in the corner before shifting over to Valentine. The freshly returned British Bulldog is #14 and guess what happens. The correct answer would be nothing, so here’s Smash at #15. No one cares as Demolition would be done at Wrestlemania, so he’s another nobody for all intents and purposes.
Good grief there are ten people in there now. Martel gets knocked to the apron and FINALLY puts Jake out to get us down a little bit. Superfly headbutts Martel and Hercules for a reaction from the crowd and Hawk is #16. STILL nothing of note happens and it’s Shane freaking Douglas at #17. Taker FINALLY puts out Tornado and Hawk puts out Snuka to get the numbers down a bit.
No one is #18, which would later be revealed as Randy Savage, who isn’t in the match because he’s running from Warrior. This is called continuity, which you don’t get enough of in wrestling today. Animal is #19, allowing the LOD to double clothesline Taker out. Martel uses the distraction to knock Hawk out and we’ve got eight in there again: Santana, Martel, Smith, Smash, Animal, Hercules, Valentine and Douglas.
The ninth person in the ring and #20 overall is Crush, Ax’s replacement in Demolition. Jim Duggan is #21. I’m not saying much between the entrances because there’s nothing to talk about. Literally it’s people pushing others on the ropes and a lot of punching. WAY too many people in the ring again and the match is really dull so far. Martel gets caught by Animal but gets out via a thumb to the eye. That’s an exciting moment at this point.
Earthquake is #22, giving us an insane eleven people in the match at once. Animal staggers Quake with some clotheslines but a third misses, resulting in Animal getting dumped. Perfect is #23 to get us back to eleven in the ring at once. The first person he sells like a crazy man for: Duggan, but Jim gets eliminated by Perfect pretty quickly. I’m not going to bother listing everyone in there for awhile due to it being nearly impossible to tell. Seriously, that’s how full the ring is.
FINALLY Hogan comes in at #24 and you know some people are going out now. It’s Smash thrown out first and Hogan goes straight for Earthquake, who he was technically still feuding with at this point. Bulldog and Perfect have a very energetic slugout as Haku is #25. Hogan dumps Valentine after a near record breaking 44 minutes. Hogan finally gets his own shirt off as Martel and Haku fight.
Jim Neidhart is #26 as Earthquake dumps an exhausted Santana after thirty minutes. A bunch of heels work over Hogan in the corner but Shane Douglas breaks it up. In a semi-famous moment, Luke is in at #27 and is immediately dumped out by Quake after about four seconds. He immediately marches back to the locker room. Brian Knobs of the freshly debuted Nasty Boys is #28 and after doing nothing for awhile, he dumps Hercules.
Warlord is #29 and he goes straight for Davey Boy. Crush goes up on the corner to punch Hogan and deserves the elimination he gets for trying. Hogan clotheslines Warlord out as the ring is FINALLY emptying out a bit. Tugboat is #30, giving us a final group of Perfect, Tugboat, Knobs, Douglas, Neidhart, Martel, Smith, Haku, Earthquake and Hogan. Quake and Tugboat go at it as Knobs dumps Douglas. Brian Knobs gets to eliminate two people? Really?
Tugboat goes after Hogan but only gets him to the apron. Hogan gets back in and clotheslines him out to get us to eight. Bulldog dropkicks Hennig off the ropes to the floor and Martel, who has been in there over 50 minutes, shattering the record, puts Neidhart out. Bulldog dumps Haku and we’re down to five. Martel goes up top but gets crotched and clotheslined out by Smith. That puts us at a final four but Smith is put out before I can type out said four. We’ve got Knobs, Earthquake and Hogan. That’s a step below Rude, Hennig and Hogan last year I’d think.
The heels double team Hogan of course and Quake splashes him down. The Earthquake hits Hogan but it’s no sold as you would expect. Big boot puts Knobs out but Hogan can’t slam the fat man. Quake hits an elbow drop and a second one as Hogan goes into his spasms. There’s the powerslam, there’s the Hulk Up, there’s the big boot, there’s the slam, there’s the winning clothesline for Hogan.
Rating: D. This is one, if not the worst Rumble I’ve ever seen. It’s just boring all around and there’s no other word to describe it. There were at least three moments where there were TEN people in the ring at once. The prime option for the Rumble is about six to seven at most at a time, not freaking TEN. There was never a moment where this got exciting and it was really boring at times too. Not good at all here.
Hogan poses a lot and waves an American flag to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The opener is really good but the rest of the show is mostly boring stuff. 1991 was a really boring time for the company and things wouldn’t pick up until the end of the year when Flair and Undertaker gave some jolts of life into things. This didn’t work for the most part though and it was a chore to sit through. Nothing to see here other than a really awesome tag match to open the show.
Ratings Comparison
The Rockers vs. The Orient Express
Original: A
Redo: B+
Big Boss Man vs. Barbarian
Original: B
Redo: C
Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior
Original: D
Redo: D+
The Mountie vs. Koko B. Ware
Original: D
Redo: D
Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Dustin Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes
Original: B
Redo: D+
Royal Rumble
Original: D+
Redo: D
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D+
What was I thinking on that DiBiase match? I must have REALLY liked the angle, but it happened after the match.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Lucha Underground – December 28, 2016: Lucha Underground Meets the Avengers
Lucha Underground Date: December 28, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro
We’re wrapping up the year with a match I’m actually interested in seeing as Mil Muertes faces Jeremiah Crane. I’m not sure what to make of Crane yet as he’s such an odd character yet there’s something about him that makes me want to see more of what they’re doing with him. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at Angelico returning, Cage vs. Texano, Catrina suggesting that Crane loves him and Prince Puma losing Grave Consequences.
Vampiro raises Puma from the grave and Puma, now dark, has a new master. I could totally go for this.
Jeremiah Crane vs. Mil Muertes
Crane goes right after him at the entrance and is knocked for a loop as a result. A running forearm to the back and a powerslam plant Crane again. As the referee looks at Catrina (understandable), cue Puma with a kendo stick shot, allowing Crane to hit a bicycle kick for the pin at 2:04.
Puma kneels to Vampiro and Striker is scared.
A stranger gives Sexy Star a present but says he used to be a Johnny Mundo fanboy. The guy leaves and the package contains a spider, just like a few weeks back.
Famous B. gives Texano an offer of fame and is promptly scared off.
Vampiro doesn’t want to talk about what just happened.
PJ Black/Jack Evans vs. Angelico/Son of Havoc
This is Angelico’s first match back from an injury and he starts by flipping around with Evans. The cocky one doesn’t do so well and Angelico cranks on his arm a bit. Black comes in and grabs Havoc by the beard (that’s just evil), only to have a WAY too early hot tag bring Angelico back in. The bouncing kick to the head gets two on Black and everything breaks down. Angelico goes down holding his elbow (legitimately dislocated), leaving Black to kick Havoc for the pin at 5:58.
Rating: C. The injury destroyed whatever this match could have done and that’s a shame. Angelico has always been one of my favorites in this promotion but unfortunately he keeps getting injured. The match could have been something entertaining between two teams that know each other very well but there’s not much you can do when you lose a fourth of the wrestlers.
Dario is looking in his glowing box when Star comes in. She wants and is granted a match with Mariposa next week.
Cage vs. Texano
Match number four in a best of five series with Cage up 2-1. Texano runs him over to start and hits a sliding clothesline but Cage turns it into a slugout. A turnbuckle pad comes off and Cage goes face first into the steel, setting up a sitout powerbomb to tie the series at 2-2 at 2:01.
Dario comes out and says he knows they both want the ultimate opportunity. Dario: “And you should because IT’S REALLY FREAKING AWESOME!” The fifth match is happening right now and anything goes.
Cage vs. Texano
This is winner take all and Cage is coming in bloody. Texano stomps him down in the corner but walks into a DDT. That just earns Cage a kick to the head in the corner, followed by a top rope hurricanrana and a slingshot splash for two. Cage kicks him in the face again and sends Texano outside for a big suicide dive.
A trashcan to the head has Texano reeling and they head up the stairs so Cage can send him through a table. What would wrestling be without a table? Texano knocks him down the steps and Cage is just covered in blood. Now it’s up into the balcony with Vampiro comparing this to World War II. A great sounding superkick staggers Texano again but he runs Cage over and knocks him into the empty chairs.
That means it’s time for a bullrope over Cage’s back and a spinebuster onto a chair makes it even worse. Cage just blasts Texano with a chair, only to get pulled down into a Crossface. The hold is quickly broken and the discus lariat gets two for Cage, followed by a freaking STEINER SCREWDRIVER for the pin at 22:13.
Rating: B+. I’m a big fan of both of these guys so this was one heck of a brawl with both guys coming out looking great. They beat the heck out of each other in a rare case where the blood helped (though it wasn’t necessary, as is always the case). Texano needs to do something soon but sweet goodness I could watch Cage do everything Ryback wished he could do for a long time.
Dario says Cage will get his prize behind closed doors. After the credits, Cage goes into Dario’s office where Dario opens the box. Cage isn’t impressed but apparently it’s a gauntlet (metal glove) with SUPERPOWERS. He tries it on and chokes Dario as the gauntlet shoots electricity. Cage leaves and Dario is pleased.
Overall Rating: B-. For the first time in a long time, I’m digging Lucha Underground quite a bit. Between Jeremiah Crane being interesting, Johnny Mundo as a solid champion, Dark Puma and CAGE HAVING THE FREAKING INFINITY GAUNTLET, I think I’ve got a few things to look forward to around here. This show could get awesome in a hurry and that’s very exciting for a long time fan.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: January 3, 2016
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Auditorium, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips
It’s the first show of the year and because this is Smackdown Live, they actually have something set up. In this case it’s a double shot with Dean Ambrose challenging Miz for the Intercontinental Title and John Cena signing his contract for the Royal Rumble World Title match against AJ Styles. Let’s get to it.
Here are Miz and Maryse to get things going as we look at a recap of Miz vs. Ambrose. Miz has a New Year’s resolution and it’s to be more forgiving. That’s very appropriate because there is a certain woman who needs to come out here and apologize right now. Miz finds it interesting that he went after Renee Young and now Ambrose has a title shot. Cue Ambrose who gets slapped by Maryse. Dean says the hard part is over tonight because Maryse hits WAY harder than Miz.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin
Ziggler starts fast with a failed superkick before hamming away with right hands. Corbin will have none of a dropkick though and the slow beatdown begins. Some choking in the corner is followed by even more right hands before Ziggler is sent back first into the apron. Baron finally charges into an elbow and it’s time for a break.
Back with JBL doing his very JBL-style over the top commentary about a clothesline from Corbin. Ziggler gets in his neckbreaker but the Fameasser is countered into another wicked clothesline. Now the Fameasser connects for two and CUT OUT THE STUPID REACTION SHOTS. Especially when it’s just some woman smiling. The running DDT is countered but the Zig Zag scores for two. Back up and Ziggler charges straight into the End of Days for the pin at 13:42.
Rating: B-. The more I see of Corbin, the more I’m liking the heck out of him. They’re pushing him as hard as they can right now and it’s already starting to stick. The guy is getting the hang of this in a hurry and now he’s winning matches to back it up. I’m digging the heck out of this push and that’s a good thing.
Post match Corbin grabs a chair but Kalisto makes the save. Corbin bails so Ziggler superkicks Kalisto, saying he doesn’t need any help from anyone.
Carmella is in the back when James Ellsworth comes up to offer her a shirt. She’s impressed and calls him fabulous, which means he can accompany her to the ring tonight.
Apollo Crews tells Ziggler that wasn’t cool and a brawl almost breaks out.
We look back at Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch with La Luchadora costing Lynch the title.
Becky Lynch vs. La Luchadora
Lynch easily takes her to the mat and pounds away at the mask. The Bexploder makes it even worse as we hear about how bad Luchadora’s costume is. As we hear about Los Conquistaroes, Luchadora slides under the ring and comes back out with one heck of a quick dye job. The now blonde Luchadora drops Becky and goes up for Twisted Bliss. That’s only good for a big crash though and the Disarm-Her makes Luchadora tap at 2:04.
The new Luchadora is unmasked as Alexa and the double beatdown ensues.
Here’s Daniel Bryan for the Styles vs. Cena contract signing. The guys come out and Styles starts talking to Bryan, saying they’re cut from the same cloth. They’ll wrestle anyone, anywhere at any time but Cena is gone for four months and gets handed a title shot. Bryan goes into a speech about Smackdown winning the ratings battle against Raw last week and how it happened because of how the top stars were around last week.
Bryan leaves so AJ goes into a rant about how Bryan and Cena are basically brothers-in-law. Last year, Cena told AJ to get a big win or be a big indy guy. Now the tables are turned because if Cena loses, maybe he doesn’t belong in AJ’s company. A few years back, Cena was talking about how the Rock left the WWE high and dry and he was absolutely right. Now though, John Cena is the same as the Rock because he has been great for WWE. The two words that matter there are “has been”.
What AJ thinks is bothering Cena is that he’ll never be the movie star the Rock is and he’ll never been AJ Styles in the ring. Cena finally gets the chance to reply and says part of being a man is pushing back when someone crosses the line. AJ just made the biggest mistake of his life when he ticked Cena off and now Cena has no respect for him. A lot of people have said something similar to him because they forget his passion.
Cena ripped his shoulder apart and was back in four months instead of a year. WWE tells Styles where to go but they have to tell Cena to stop doing so much. Everyone else is gone but Cena is still here because that’s passion. There’s already one signature on that contract and Cena is ready to sign because everyone needs this match. People try to say that Cena sucks but they realize on their best day, they can’t be him.
Cena signs….and here’s Baron Corbin. Baron says he won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal on his first day and now he’s going to be the first Smackdown star entered in the Royal Rumble. Cena is so glad that Corbin is out here because it means John might actually get a fight here. John is ready to go but AJ kicks him in the head. Corbin says Cena’s time is up and walks away.
Maryse slaps Renee and tells her to never touch Miz again.
Carmella vs. Aliyah
Aliyah is from NXT and Ellsworth is at ringside. Carmella runs her over to start and sends Aliyah into the corner for the Bronco Buster. A chinlock goes nowhere and sets up Aliyah’s comeback but Ellsworth offers a distraction. Carmella gets in a superkick and the Code of Silence is good for the submission at 2:57.
American Alpha vs. Breezango
Non-title. Grand Amplitude ends Breeze in 32 seconds due to Tyler offering Gable a ticket.
Post match the Wyatts appear and say they’re coming for the titles next week. Orton does the “run” line and Harper isn’t pleased.
Here are Nikki Bella and Natalya with something to say. Nikki thinks it’s interesting that Natalya complains about her getting everything because of Cena when Natalya copies everything from the Hart Family. We see a Tweet from Bret about how much he likes Nikki but Natalya suggests that she, shall we say, coerced him to say that. Once Nikki’s looks fade, Cena is going to leave her and she’ll die alone (a big plot point on Total Divas). Nikki lays her out with the forearm.
The new interviewer can barely ask Ambrose if he’s ready for the Intercontinental Title shot but Dean cuts her off to say he’s going to hurt Miz.
Next week it’s Natalya vs. Nikki, Cena vs. Corbin and American Alpha vs. the Wyatts for the titles.
Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose
Miz is defending. Ambrose takes him down to start and it’s already time for a chase. That means a breather with Maryse on the floor as Ambrose is almost pacing back and forth to get his hands on Miz. Dean even turns his back on Miz and lets him get in a cheap shot, which earns Miz a trip over the announcers’ table.
Back from a break with Miz being backdropped out to the floor and taken down with the standing elbow. Miz starts in on the leg but gets caught in a backbreaker for two. A superplex is broken up and the Skull Crushing Finale gets two for the champ. It’s time for the YES Kicks but Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive.
Maryse slaps him and Dean actually talks the referee into not DQ’ing Miz. Instead Maryse is ejected, leaving Miz to hit Dean in the back with the belt for a VERY close two. You can hear the fans come back to life on the kickout. Back up and Dirty Deeds gives Ambrose the title at 14:04.
Rating: B-. This worked for one simple reason: we didn’t sit around waiting for the title to change hands on the pay per view for the sake of waiting around on the pay per view. If you consider Ambrose’s character, he should have been ready to take Miz’s head off the second Miz started things with Renee. Waiting another month wouldn’t have made sense and would have allowed the feud to cool off.
Miz can get the title back later if he has to but the key thing here is Dean won the match and the title when he should have instead of when the calendar says so. That’s good storytelling and it’s no surprise on Smackdown. Also well done on not having Young out here. It wouldn’t fit for her to be there and it would have been so easy to go with the illogical move.
Overall Rating: B+. Normally I’d break down a lot of stuff here and go over why it was good or bad but what’s the point? Practically EVERYTHING here is really good as they take such simple ideas and turn them into interesting points. The wrestling was good, the talking was good and somehow this was a downgrade over last week’s classic. That says a lot because this was a heck of a great show.
Results
Baron Corbin b. Dolph Ziggler – End of Days
Becky Lynch b. La Luchadora – Disarm-Her
Carmella b. Aliyah – Code of Silence
American Alpha b. Breezango – Grand Amplitude to Breeze
Dean Ambrose b. Miz – Dirty Deeds
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Ring of Honor TV – December 29, 2016: The Redcoats are Coming
Ring of Honor Date: December 28, 2016
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness, Steve Corino
Since this year seems to be immune to traditional Best Of shows (even ones we were promised), this is another show featuring matches from a recent house show tour. In this case it’s the Reach for the Sky tour of the UK which saw a lot of action surrounding the TV Title. Let’s get to it.
We open with a package on the tour.
Opening sequence.
Kevin Kelly welcomes us to the show and tells us where we’ll be going on the tour (Liverpool, Leicester and London).
TV Title: Bobby Fish vs. Will Ospreay
Fish is defending and this was originally only a Proving Ground match until ROH said “eh just make it for the title”. Bobby puts the Union Jack on the mat next to the title, which seems to be a big sign of disrespect. The champ goes for the arm to start but Ospreay starts spinning around to escape, including knocking Fish to the floor, setting up a Tajiri handspring into a backflip.
We take a break and come back with a Space Flying Tiger Drop (cartwheel into a moonsault out to the floor) dropping Fish again and freaking the crowd out. Back in and Ospreay goes up top but Fish knocks him down to bang up Will’s knee. An exploder suplex into the corner gives the champ two.
Fish loads up a brainbuster but Ospreay spins out into a Stunner for a very fast counter. A middle rope Phoenix splash (the knee wasn’t that banged up) hits Bobby’s knees so he twists Ospreay’s knee down again. Ospreay is fine enough to hit a rolling kick to the head, only to moonsault right into the kneebar. Will stands up though and bends back onto Fish, giving him the pin and the title at 8:50.
Rating: B-. I’d like to see the full version of this as I’m sure the knee work will build up a bit better than it did here. What we got was fine enough though and the ending was a nice idea with Ospreay shifting gears and going with the wrestling instead of the high flying to surprise Fish. I liked this more than I was expecting and Ospreay could be awesome in Ring of Honor.
Fish is upset but hands Ospreay the title.
Tag Team Titles: Will Ospreay/Marty Scurll vs. Young Bucks
Joined in progress. Ospreay and Scurll are challenging despite being huge rivals. Scurll takes Matt to the mat to start and it’s too early to try Marty’s crossface chickenwing. They poke each other in the eye and dive over for the double tag, giving us a standoff. Ospreay does a lot of nipping up to get out of a wristlock and it’s time for all of the flips without much contact actually being made.
A double armdrag sends the Bucks to the floor and Ospreay does his moonsault into the pose, followed by Scurll running over do pose next to him in a funny bit. Back in and the Brits start taking over on Matt with Marty grabbing a surfboard and Ospreay adding a sliding dropkick to the face.
Nick gets the tag and does all his flips to take over again because he’s sold enough so far. A double suicide dive drops the challengers and we take a break. Back with Scurll getting caught in the corner and DDT’ed onto the apron. A 450 gets two for Matt and it’s Ospreay coming back in with the shooting stars and a middle rope moonsault for a very close two. All four are down and that earns a standing ovation.
The Bucks offer a double SUCK IT so Scurll BREAKS THEIR FINGERS. Now it’s time for the evil umbrella but Ospreay says not so fast. As you might expect, Ospreay hits Scurll by mistake and that means a double superkick. More Bang for Your Buck gets two on Marty and that means the Meltzer Driver, only to have Ospreay springboard in to hurricanrana Nick out of the air…..and right into the spike on the Tombstone to pin Scurll at 13:04.
Rating: B-. Ok yeah the ending rocked. I mean, it wasn’t perfectly executed but it certainly looked good and that’s what matters here. I’m not big on throwing two rivals together and having them become the number one contenders but it actually makes sense here. They work very well together and that’s what matters the most. Good match here, even with the Bucks’ usual issues.
That loss resulted in a challenge being issued for the final night of the tour.
TV Title: Marty Scurll vs. Will Ospreay
Ospreay is defending and this is joined in progress with Scurll fighting out of a wristlock. The bouncing escape gives us several more counters as this is British wrestling to the letter. Scurll avoids the moonsault and they flip into a kneeling standoff. The fans are split on who to cheer for but seem to shift towards Ospreay as he grabs an Octopus Hold and twists Marty down into a rollup for two.
Scurll is sent outside for a running shooting star off the apron with Ospreay looking like he had to pop his thumb back into joint. In an old school move, Scurll hides under the ring and sneaks up on Will to take over. That’s enough for a lap around the ring as we take a break. Back with Scurll cranking on Ospreay’s fingers and doing that freaky CRACKING bit again.
A suplex into a Stunner and back to back shooting stars into a moonsault have Scurll reeling but he catches Ospreay out of the air in the chickenwing. Sweet, sweet sequence there with Will backflipping out to escape. One heck of a clothesline drops Will for one (yes one) and both guys are down. It’s umbrella time but Scurll opts to break more fingers and STOMP WILL IN THE HEAD. Another chickenwing gives Marty the title at 9:34.
Rating: B. These two really do work well together and there’s something very cool about swapping people in and out with the title on a house show tour. Both of these guys are signed to some form of a deal with ROH and I’m sure we’ll see Scurll vs. Fish at some point in the future. Good match and a good way to end the show.
Overall Rating: B+. Quite the show here and I had a lot of fun watching it. British wrestling is one of the hottest things in wrestling at this point and it’s a good idea for ROH to sign up some of the top stars in the area. It helps that a lot of their wrestlers can wrestle that style as well, making this a very natural fit. If nothing else, it’s not New Japan all over again and that’s a good thing.
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