Ezekiel Jackson Retires

http://411mania.com/wrestling/wwe-news-ezekiel-jackson-retires-jasmin-gets-nxt-name/

I’m going to miss the guy. He was nothing special in WWE but he was actually awesome in Lucha Underground as a cool thug for hire. However, anything that lets Lucha Underground try something new is worth a shot.

Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: October 12, 2015

Aside from the important shows, my favorite reviews to look back on are the shows where people say I got the ratings totally wrong. I’ve changed my opinion on shows before via a second look so maybe that’s going to happen here. This week’s show was pretty much hated but I had a decent enough time with it. Let’s get to it.

We start immediately with the big story of the night: the Authority isn’t here (and won’t be here despite saying they’re trying to make it all night). Therefore Corporate Kane is in charge and gets to book the show on his own so he makes himself vs. Seth Rollins in a lumberjack match. Why doesn’t he make this a title match you ask? Plot convenience of course.

Throughout the night, the Authority keeps trying to get hold of Kane and ask him what the main event is but bad reception keeps cutting them off. Why doesn’t HHH send him a text or an e-mail so he can get the information when the reception is good and doesn’t have to be on his phone at that time? Plot convenience of course. Granted it wouldn’t matter in this case as the Authority found out about the match and told Kane he had to change it.

Naturally this gave us Demon Kane vs. Rollins because that’s still supposed to be different. This wasn’t the best idea, especially given that the fans aren’t thrilled to see them fight in the first place, so now they get to fight twice. Monday Night Football was a weak game and they had a chance to do something good, but we get Rollins vs. Kane I instead of the only match at the pay per view. I know I defend this company a lot, but there are times where they do stuff that boggles my mind.

Ambrose and Orton had a male bonding segment that was interrupted by New Day. As usual New Day stole the show with pure charisma and asked why Orton has been a part of so many groups. This led to a very long tag match (by Raw standards at least) that didn’t do much for me but could have been far worse. If my best option is nearly twenty minutes of pretty good wrestling, I’ll gladly take it over the drek that Raw is capable of putting on any day. Even on a new day, like the team that won the match due to some face miscommunication.

Things aren’t boding well for Orton/Ambrose heading into the pay per view. For one thing they lost here and even worse they’re actually on the pre-show. That screams angle for later in the show to me, as they’ve been in one of the biggest stories on the show and the card currently has six matches. I could easily see a fight breaking out to set up Orton vs. Ambrose on the show, because why build what could be a solid midcard pay per view match when you can throw it out there with an hour of build?

Video on Undertaker vs. Lesnar, which would air again (or at least a very similar version) later in the night. Well that’s nice of them. It’s not like either guy can be bothered showing up and making me want to see the match so I’ll take what I can get.

Nikki beat Naomi in a nothing match but the fans chanted for Sasha to fill in most of the time. The more I think about it the more I’m glad they haven’t added Sasha to the title match in the hopes that we get past Nikki’s rematch and move on to something else, because you know this company loves itself some rematches.

Dolph Ziggler answered the US Open Challenge and lost like everyone else does. It was another good match but when are they going to pick something for Cena to do at the pay per view? Word on the street is that he’s leaving for a few months after the show but at the moment there’s no one to challenge for the title and no real prospects, unless they throw Big Show in there again. Would that really be a big surprise at this point? You would think Ziggler wins it here but I guess this was the payoff to the accidental superkick. Every day that goes by scares me even more that we’ll get something stupid at the pay per view.

The Dudleyz squashed the Ascension. At least they’re on TV.

Sheamus and King Barrett beat Neville and Cesaro in a nothing match. Barrett has said he wants to be a tag wrestler and Sheamus/Barrett would be fine enough for a team. I’d like to see Cesaro/Neville actually win something but they seem to be the latest acts on the doomed bulletproof list.

Roman Reigns came out and gave a big speech about how Bray was trying to take away his livelihood. This has been described as horrible but I really liked it. What was far worse was the obnoxious Chicago crowd jeering the whole thing because they can’t shut up for five minutes. They decided a long time ago that they don’t want to see Reigns (they’ll take anyone but him I assume) and no matter what he says, they’re going to boo. This gets annoying quickly and unfortunately that’s often what decides everyone’s reactions to the speech. Roman got to the point and delivered, which is a big improvement over his usual stuff.

In something I really don’t like, Reigns beat Braun Strowman by countout. I could live with this if it was like Strowman’s debut match against Ambrose where it was a squash, but in this case Roman hung with Braun the whole way and basically knocked him out to win. That shouldn’t happen for months but this is WWE where the idea of CHILL OUT AND WAIT is sacrilegious. Not a good brawl either and that’s not a good thing, especially with Braun losing and being made to look beatable this early.

Here’s the column on the Lana/Rusev/TMZ fiasco:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/10/14/new-column-the-worldwide-leader-in-not-knowing-the-difference/

Then Ryback beat Rusev in about three minutes because Vince loves publicity as long as it’s controlled publicity.

Kevin Owens squashed Kalisto to end one of the best uses of the mini feuds that I’ve seen in a long time. They don’t need to do their usual tropes so let Owens beat up a midcard tag team instead. The story works fine and Owens vs. Ryback is built up even more. Simple, yet effective. I love that idea.

Brie Bella pinned Charlotte in a tag match because the way to get someone new over in the division is to give them the title and then have them lose almost every match. Paige and Natalya fought a bit to pad out the match. I do like the idea that they have more than one Divas story going at the same time, but they could have better ideas than Brie Bella pinning the Divas Champion.

Kane pinned Seth Rollins off a tombstone. This really doesn’t surprise me at this point and it shouldn’t surprise you either. Neither should Rollins retaining the title in a boring pay per view match.

So….yeah I’m not sure what I was thinking. Ziggler vs. Cena was good but not good enough to make up for a lot of the boneheaded moves going on here. This is looking like the weakest pay per view I’ve seen in a long time and WWE really doesn’t seem interested in making anything of it. Lesnar vs. Undertaker might as well not even be happening because neither guy seems interested in building it, leaving us with a main event of Kane vs. Rollins. Which we saw here. And it sucked.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor TV – October 14, 2015: Where Are We Here?

Ring of Honor
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: San Antonio Shrine Auditorium, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 600
Commentators: King Corino, Kevin Kelly

We’re FINALLY up to some fresh storyline material here with the fallout from All-Star Extravaganza which took place nearly a month ago. Jay Lethal retained both his titles at the pay per view but the TV Title is on the line tonight against Watanabe. There’s another pay per view next week so things have to pick up in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The commentary audio is notably lower this week as I can barely understand Kelly.

ACH vs. Matt Sydal

This is match #4 in a best of five series with ACH (from Texas, making him the crowd favorite) up 2-1. Kelly thinks winning match #3 bodes well for ACH. As usual, you can’t buy this kind of analysis. They shake hands to start but ACH holds up two fingers. The fans do a New Day style A-CH chant as they fight over a lockup to start. It’s time for some holds on the mat with neither guy being able to keep an advantage.

Sydal gets up and taunts ACH a bit which seems to get inside his head. ACH cartwheels out of a headscissors attempt and Sydal dropkicks him to the floor for a baseball slide. It’s time for the chops and therefore the WOO’s and therefore more audio issues. ACH grabs a headscissors of his own to take over, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head (the Dum Dum Drop. Seriously?) for two. There isn’t much to say on a match like this as it’s just spot after spot with nothing in between.

We take a break and come back with ACH kicking Sydal in the face, only to dive into a nice spinwheel kick. Sydal gets two off something like Big Show’s Final Cut but ACH kicks him in the face again. A nice German suplex gets two on Matt, followed by a kick to the face (popular move) and a Cross Rhodes for another near fall.

Sydal rolls away from Midnight Star (450) and is booed as a result. Yeah somehow avoiding a finisher is a heel move. ACH takes him down again with a running shooting star dive to the floor but some jumping knees to the face look to set up the shooting star. It’s ACH up again though with a brainbuster but the Midnight Star hits knees. A reverse hurricanrana sets up the shooting star to give Sydal the pin and tie the series at 14:15.

Rating: C+. I get the idea here but I’m really not a fan of this kind of match. The ending told me everything I needed to know. When the 450 hit Sydal’s knees, Sydal did another big spot to set up the final big spot. They could have done the exact same ending with a cradle or something, but instead it’s all about the next big move. It makes the whole thing look like a big spot fest where they have no idea how to do anything else. That’s not good. Fun match, but very telling if you pay attention.

They hold up two fingers to each other for some gamesmanship but shake hands. Cue the Addiction and Chris Sabin to beat both guys down and clean house. Back from a break with the trio still in the ring with Kazarian yelling about how they weren’t defeated for their Tag Team Titles at All-Star Extravaganza.

It’s a good thing that they’re here in Texas because these people believe in justice. Not bathing or education, but certainly justice. Daniels doesn’t like the idea of a third man coming to the ring in a red mask and stealing Chris Sabin’s idea. They were never pinned or beaten and therefore they’re still the Tag Team Champions.

Daniels demands that the Kingdom comes out here and hand over the titles but it’s the All Night Express (Kenny King/Rhett Titus, who reunited at the pay per view) instead. King doesn’t want to hear about the Addiction’s complaints because the Express never lost their Tag Team Titles three years ago. They were only defeated by a bureaucracy and the Addiction can get some anytime.

Addiction vs. All Night Express is announced for next week.

Here are Silas Young and the Beer City Bruiser (a large man who carries a beer keg) with Dalton Castle’s boys, who Young won at All-Star Extravaganza. Silas yells at them for their ring attire and it’s time for a match.

Beer City Bruiser/Silas Young vs. The Boys

Bruiser runs both of them over in the corner and suplexes both Boys at the same time. They avoid a top rope splash though and the Boys try to ride Bruiser, only to be destroyed by Silas. Misery is enough to pin one of the Boys at 1:40.

Truth Martini and Jay Lethal talk about Watanabe learning English. Tonight he learns how to say Jay Lethal is the best wrestler in the world.

Inside ROH focuses on Adam Cole costing Kyle O’Reilly the World Title. ReDRagon promises revenge on Cole because he decided to chase the dragon. Cole’s reply says that he’s the next guy instead of Kyle. What Kyle is going to learn is that he’s just a lesser Adam Cole. Adam had the fire in his eyes here and blew away what ReDRagon said. That was good.

We’ll hear from the Kingdom next week.

TV Title: Watanabe vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is defending but uses the handshake to get in a cheap shot to take over early. Watanabe charges into a boot in the corner and gets elbowed in the face a few times, only to charge into a slam for two. A nice backsplash gets two for Watanabe but Truth Martini trips him up, allowing Jay to nail three straight suicide dives. We take a break and come back with Lethal getting two off a suplex.

Off to the chinlock from the champion followed by some knees to the face. A kick to Watanabe’s face gets two and Lethal goes Kevin Owens by loading up something big and then putting on a chinlock. Watanabe fights back and whips Jay hard across the ring before toss him away with a German suplex. The Lethal Injection is blocked and a big clothesline gets two. Martin throws in the Book of Truth, allowing Lethal to kick Watanabe low. The Lethal Injection retains the title at 12:28.

Rating: C. I’m still waiting on a reason to care about Watanabe. This was a glorified squash with Lethal picking Watanabe apart and putting on a clinic instead of ever feeling like he was in jeopardy. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it really didn’t make me care about either guy.

The fans remind Lethal that AJ Styles is coming for the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one as I’ve forgotten a lot of the stories they built up for weeks because of the awkward schedule. Lethal vs. Watanabe was nothing special and the best of five series match was a way to set up another match instead of meaning anything on its own. I’m not sure what they’re building towards here as they didn’t mention the pay per view and now have one week to talk about it. I guess after next week it’s time for more stand alone shows and probably more New Japan. Watchable and quick show this week but nothing that did anything for me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder – May 24, 2000: What Does A Yellow Light Mean?

Thunder
Date: May 27, 2000
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

So Jarrett is World Champion again after losing the title for a full week. The biggest change seems to be Nash moving in to the World Title scene, which is one of the least interesting things they could do, which is why we’re likely to see it happen. This company has to hit a wall soon enough but I don’t want to imagine what has to happen to reach that point. Let’s get to it.

Recap of Nitro’s latest title change.

Steiner and Nash arrive.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Chris Candido vs. The Artist

Daffney is defending, likely because she’s associated with Russo on screen and that makes her important. Before the match, Candido talks about how great it is to be part of the first couple of sports entertainment. Tammy gets to strip a bit as this is already getting boring. Again before the match, let’s get some words from the champ. She’s in a black wedding dress because she wanted David to propose to her but she’ll take the ring in the arena instead.

We finally start the match with Daffney getting away from the guys, setting up a three way champion/managers showdown. Cue Miss Hancock as Candido powerslams Artist for two. A Samoan drop puts Candido down and Daffney gets a near fall on each. Cue Crowbar to fight Artist, which is rather stupid as it leaves Daffney alone against Candido. As this is going on, Tammy pays Hancock for her clipboard but hits Candido by mistake, giving Daffney the pin, because Tammy swinging a half inch thick clipboard is enough to knock a professional wrestler unconscious after he’s been wrestling for two minutes.

Russo whines to Bischoff about all of his problems. Does he do anything besides book bad wrestling shows and complain about how much his life sucks?

Norman Smiley are trying to sell shirts when Shane Douglas comes up to give them a Hardcore Title shot. Why did he do that? Because the show’s script said he should.

Kimberly tells Elizabeth to put lotion on her back. You can add “puts his female talent in life versions of his erotica” to the list of things Russo does.

Hardcore Title: Shane Douglas vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus

So Shane is officially Hardcore Champion after the New Blood beat Terry Funk down in a non match on Monday. We’re ready to go after Shane rips on Flair because he thinks people outside of Philadelphia actually care about that feud. Ralphus is in a gorilla suit (and I’m SURE it’s him and not someone else in a wacky surprise) which he wasn’t wearing and didn’t seem to have five minutes ago.

Naturally there’s something else to get to before another comedy title match as Bischoff says Douglas can’t give these two a title shot. Douglas takes Norman’s trashcan away and hammers on him to start. Ralphus’ cookie sheet shot has no effect so Shane beats on Norman with a trashcan lid, sending Ralphus out to the floor. Norman comes back with the spinning slam but the spanking dance is broken up by a low blow.

A neckbreaker and suplex get two on Smiley but Ralphus hits Douglas with a trashcan lid for no effect. Ralphus runs again but stops to pick at himself. Back in the ring and Norman collapses as Ralphus comes back. Some trashcan lid shots get two on Douglas and it’s table time. The chain to Norman’s head sets up a slam through the table but Ralphus grabs the chain and knocks Douglas out with a left hand for the pin and the title.

Rating: F. So to recap, Funk brought a gorilla suit (yes of course that’s where it’s going) on the off change that Douglas would get all cocky and offer Norman and Ralphus a title shot. We’ll of course ignore Funk not attacking Douglas in the multiple chances he had during the match but then again this isn’t the most complicated plan in the world.

Of course it’s Funk in the gorilla suit, meaning he’s the new champion.

Bischoff tells Cat to “Jackie Chan” Funk. At least go with Bruce Lee man.

Russo is talking to some old woman.

Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner are wearing goggles. Why? Not explained, but it makes for a funny random visual I guess.

After a recap of Russo vs. Flair, here are Russo, David, Daffney and the woman Russo was talking to. Russo says it’s time for another expose tonight, starring Reid’s sixth grade teacher Mrs. Snodgrass, who is every stereotypical old teacher you’ve ever seen. Apparently Reid was a hellion (her word) who would make rude noises. After more stories of Reid being a normal twelve year old, David grabs the mic and says he wants to fight Reid at the Great American Bash. For the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE let that match happen. It could be glorious.

That’s enough of the Flair story though as Nash comes out to advance another Russo story. He wants to kill Russo but so does this man: Scott Steiner. Nash and Steiner destroy security to get at Russo, who tells them to hit Snodgrass. This goes as well as you would expect so Nash and Steiner choke Russo down and demand a World Title match tonight. Russo makes a three way dance.

Jarrett yells at Russo, who can barely talk (HALLELUJAH).

Bischoff tells Douglas to deal with Funk tonight.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action

Elimination match because there’s no place for something like this on pay per view. Everyone brawls to start and Hammer (Stash. I’m not going to remember to change them to their new names most of the time so we’ll stick with the more familiar ones) throws Juvy at Konnan in a nice power display. All four Misfits splash Disco in the corner and he staggers over to Major Gunns for a kick low.

We settle down to Juvy vs. Chavo with Guerrera snapping off some chops. Guerrero is sent to the ramp but dives back in to take Juvy down and tag in Lash. Rey comes in for some rope running, followed by a side slam from Leroux. The dancing punches are good for two and it’s off to Juvy, only to have Disco sneak in and help on a double powerbomb to eliminate Lash. It’s Hammer coming in to throw Disco around with a spinebuster getting two.

Juvy tries to come in off the top but gets slammed down, setting up a horrible cobra clutch slam (you would think Juvy could jump better than that) for a one count. This brings Disco in with a kendo stick to clean house, allowing Rey to come in off the top with a seated senton to eliminate Hammer. Disco comes in and takes Chavo down with a swinging neckbreaker, only to have Chavo pop up and hook the tornado DDT for the elimination.

It’s off to Juvy whose headscissors is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always liked that move) for two. Rection’s moonsault is enough to pin Juvy and we’re down to Rection/Chavo vs. Konnan (hasn’t been in yet)/Mysterio. Cue Shawn Stasiak for no apparent reason but Booker debuts his fatigues look to clean house. A spinebuster plants Rey and the Misfits win just because.

Rating: C-. This could have been better but a WCW match getting nine minutes and only having two people interfere is a rare treat these days. I still don’t know why this wasn’t on pay per view but I’d assume it was so they could have three other matches in its place. It’s also nice to see that Russo has gotten in his standard stable wars within a bigger stable war, even though no one is really getting a rub out of this.

Bischoff tries to break up an argument between Kidman, Horace and Torrie.

Elizabeth shoves Kimberly and runs away. Don’t worry. She’ll be kidnapped again by the end of the show.

Russo is talking to Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott.

Shane can’t find Funk.

The Wall vs. Chuck Palumbo

Tables match. Wall suplexes him to start and lifts him up in the corner for some choking. Palumbo escapes an attempt at a slam through a table and elbows out of a chokeslam. The exercise bar knocks Wall off the apron and through the table. This was NOTHING. Like even by WCW standards, this was a waste of time.

Wall chases Palumbo to the back because a metal rod to the face through the table isn’t worth selling.

Kimberly is ordered to find Elizabeth. Why is Elizabeth such an important character on this show? She doesn’t wrestle, she barely talks, she hasn’t meant anything important in years at this point, yet she’s getting more air time than a lot of the champions in this company. Elizabeth is cool but you would think she was one of the stars of the show at this point.

Here are Bischoff (doing his airplane bit), Torrie, Kidman and Horace for a chat. Bischoff gets to the point and says that the music dies at the Great American Bash. Hogan’s music that is. Horace blames Hulk for ruining his career and it’s open challenge time.

Horace Hogan/Kidman vs. Kronik

Non-title and Bischoff is doing commentary because what else is he going to do? Clark chops away at Kidman to start and kicks him in the face. As Bischoff rambles about Hulk, Kidman comes back with a dropkick, only to get choked up against the ropes. Kidman comes out of the corner with a Bodog and it’s off to Adams for some more power. A sleeper is easily countered as Adams flips Kidman onto the mat, only to have Kidman come back with a hurricanrana.

Horace flips Kidman off when he comes for a tag so Bischoff gets up, only to be shoved back down. Horace gets a chair as Kronik gives Kidman High Times. Clark loads up Kidman for a chair but Horace turns (?) on him to lay Kronik out with a chair, giving Kidman the pin. The announcers have no idea if this was a title match or not.

Rating: D. Another bad match but Kronik is still a fun enough act. Kidman and Horace’s issues aren’t interesting together but most of that is due to Horace being as generic of a big man as I can remember in a very long time. I like the idea of pushing someone new, but there comes a point where it’s not going to happen. Put someone else in there and let it be over already.

Shane yells at Norman and Ralphus about letting Funk take Ralphus’ place. Norman says Funk paid double what Shane did but he’s already left the building. Shane punches Smiley and takes Ralphus to help him find Funk. So Norman and Ralphus, two guys with no money, wouldn’t accept a title shot without being paid for it? That’s how worthless the title is?

Shane brings Ralphus to the ring and beats him down until Wall, who is facing Shane at the Great American Bash in a tables match, comes out for a brawl. As Norman tends to Ralphus, Shane dives off the apron and gets chokeslammed through the announcers’ table.

Booker T. is with the Misfits and says he’s now to be known as G.I. Bro. I’m assuming this would be the idea that Booker was talking about on Monday when he said “tune in next week”. So now they can’t even wait a week for the GENIUS idea of G.I. Bro, which Booker had used years earlier.

Kimberly has security looking for Elizabeth.

G.I. Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak stomps the new guy down in the corner to start and chokes him on the ropes. They head outside with Bro hitting an ax handle off the apron, followed by a some right hands back inside, only to have Stasiak hot shot him. Back to the floor as Stasiak continues to search for anything resembling a good offense. Bro is sent into various objects before they head back inside and exchange clotheslines for two each. A powerbomb gets the same for Stasiak but he tries to bring in a chair, allowing Bro to hit his series of kicks, followed by the Book End for the pin.

Rating: D+. So it’s just Booker T. in fatigues. I’ve heard worse ideas, like having Stasiak get in this much offense when you’re trying to get over a new character or having Terry Funk win the Hardcore Title back two days after he kind of lost it or having Vince Russo as the centerpiece of your show.

Post match Stasiak hits him with a chair and beats Booker down, likely setting up a rematch at the pay per view. Or tonight in case Russo can’t wait to blow that hot feud off as well.

Mike Tenay is with Sting, who doesn’t think anything of Vampiro. Ten years ago he was just like Vampiro (no he wasn’t) but now that he’s grown up, he still has the fire in his eyes. Tenay asks about the inferno match and Sting calls the idea stupid. He’ll take the challenge though because that’s what he does. The lights go out and come back on to reveal the set on fire. You really didn’t need to turn the lights back on for that guys.

Kimberly is in the back for a talk but Elizabeth attacks her from behind and drags her away. This can’t end well.

Here’s Diamond Dallas Page with some biting commentary: Bischoff sucks. Well that’s one way of putting it. He talks about working hard to get where he is today and how Bischoff has turned his wife against him and Awesome injuring Kanyon (he’s way too calm about that). He keeps going on about all the things Bischoff has done to him when Liz brings Kimberly out by the hair.

Oh yeah this is going exactly where you expect it to: Page spanks Kimberly, giving Russo more fuel for his personal pleasure later on. As this is going on, Palumbo kidnaps Liz and I roll my eyes. That has to be the sixth or seventh time it’s happened and we’re still supposed to care? Anyway Mike Awesome pops up on screen in Kanyon’s hospital room, looking rather menacing. Oh well enough of that because we need to see people walking to the ring.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Jarrett is defending and has Russo with him for commentary of course. As Steiner comes out, we’re told that Palumbo kidnapped Elizabeth AGAIN, meaning Russo has her again. I’m so sick of this story. Despite Russo’s voice being sore from the choke, he has to talk even more, this time making himself guest referee for the match so it will be an even playing field. They’re going to change the title on some wacky occurrence aren’t they?

Nash immediately chases Russo into the crowd (how manly of Russo to run with a sore throat), leaving Steiner to beat Jarrett up. The champ is tied into the Tree of Woe and Nash comes back to choke him. Russo and his security are on the ramp so Steiner goes after them as well. Russo’s bat is taken away from him but Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott show up on the stage with Scott’s freaks.

Scott goes after them, leaving Russo to go after Nash who promptly hits him in the face. Jarrett hits Nash in the back with a bat to break up the Jackknife to the boss. Back up and Nash hits the referee (Billy Silverman, who has been refereeing the match despite what Russo said) by mistake. Jeff misses a belt shot so Nash hits him in the face with the title. Russo pulls the referee out of the ring at two and hits him with a guitar.

Jeff blasts Nash with a chair and Russo counts two but since we haven’t had something going on for all of six seconds, here’s Steiner to run through Russo’s security, clearing a path for referee Mickie Jay. Steiner chases Russo off and Nash powerbombs Jarrett for the pin and the title.

Rating: F. To quote Gorilla Monsoon: “WILL YOU STOP???” Look at all the insanity in this match and then consider that it didn’t even run five minutes. Normally I would talk about how you should just have a three way if you want to have a three way, but such common sense is lost on someone like Russo. Horrible “match” of course because they couldn’t go fifteen seconds without something else happening.

The announcers treat this like the biggest title change in years. I could buy that if this wasn’t the sixteenth title change since the beginning of the year. That’s sixteen title changes (including vacancies) in less than five months. Let’s put this in some perspective.

Counting backwards from today (October 17, 2015), you would have to go back to Summerslam 2011 to see the WWE Championship change hands sixteen times.

Starting with the inception of the title (February 1991), the WCW World Title didn’t change hands sixteen times until November 1995.

Finally, starting at Barely Legal 1997, the ECW World Title changed hands exactly sixteen times until their final pay per view in January 2001.

So we have four years, four and a half years, just under four years, or less than five months in WCW 2000.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s the same old troubles as always as Russo can’t stop putting everything he can think of into one show. You had two title changes tonight plus the Tag Team Champions losing a match and maybe the titles (this would be the second time in a month where it’s not clear if we have new champions or not).

There’s so much stuff going on here that I’m desensitized to everything they’re doing. How can I feel the impact of Nash winning the title if I’m still reacting to Flair winning it just nine days earlier? There’s so much going on and no time to take it in, but Russo keeps making things faster and faster. The pay per view still doesn’t have an announced main event and the show is in eleven days. We’re in the dark days of Russo here as he has full control and is showing why that’s a horrible idea. I don’t want to imagine where it’s going to go from here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown – October 15, 2015: The Weekly House Show

Smackdown
Date: October 15, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jerry Lawler, Booker T.

Somehow we’re ten days away from Hell in a Cell and it’s time to put the finishing touches on the build. The announced main event for tonight is hometown boy Dean Ambrose teaming up with the Dudleyz to fight New Day in a bit of a preview for the pay per view. We might even get more speculation of what Cena is going to do there as well. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Roman Reigns vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Bo talks about Reigns going to a scary place at the pay per view. Dallas knows all about scary places because he went to Suplex City, but he actually survived it unlike Reigns. Dallas actually takes him into the corner to start but Reigns drops him with a neckbreaker. A middle rope clothesline to the back of the head gives Bo an opening, only to have Reigns come back with even more clotheslines of his own. Dallas wants time and Reigns stops to smile, only to get annoyed when he takes a kick to the ribs. Now the Samoan drop connects and the two moves end Dallas at 2:58.

Roman talks about Bray referring to himself as the devil. He can get behind that idea because he sees the pure evil in Bray’s eyes. Roman is going to bring the big fight because it’s the only way to stop the devil. Cue Bray, who says Reigns’ sins will be his undoing. It is the sin of pride that will bring Reigns down because he isn’t Bray’s muse. On Monday, Bray is going to deliver a prophecy to Reigns. Anyone but you.

Cesaro/Neville vs. Sheamus/King Barrett

Rematch from Raw because the writers already came up with their idea for the week. Ascension and Stardust are sitting in the crowd with a STARDUST SECTION sign. Barrett and Neville get things going with Neville starting his kicking regimen early. Sheamus comes in and eventually gets hurricanranaed out to the floor, allowing Cesaro to backdrop his partner over the top and onto the villains in a nice visual.

The referee tells them that they’re about to go to a break so we come back with Barrett putting his knee into Neville’s back and cranking on the arms. Sheamus stands between Neville and the corner like a good bully before planting him with a slam. We hit the chinlock from Barrett for a bit before he misses a running boot in the corner. Cesaro gets the tag and fires off the running uppercuts to Sheamus for two. The briefcase is brought in and the distraction lets Barrett get in a Bull Hammer to give Sheamus the pin at 10:10. Stardust and Ascension never got involved.

Rating: C-. This match is a good example of everything wrong with Smackdown. Not only have we already seen it on Raw with the same result but it’s a match with no energy. I know it makes for a dull match but can you blame them? None of the matches on this show mean anything and Cesaro isn’t going to get a major push because the boss doesn’t care for him, so why should they try in a tag match that they’ve already done before? That’s the nature of Smackdown these days and it has been for a very long time. If the wrestlers don’t care, I don’t get why I should either. At least Barrett/Sheamus have potential as a team.

Summer, guest referee for Ziggler vs. Rusev later tonight, says she’s put men down before and is willing to do it again if she has to.

Earlier today, Ambrose unloaded his bag, which included a Slammy, a slinky, a balloon animal, a magic 8-ball…..but no Payday. Oh never mind as it fell out of his bowling ball. I hate the fact that I chuckled at this.

Kevin Owens vs. Zack Ryder

Non-title and Ryback is at ringside. Owens shrugs off an early flurry and stomps Ryder down. A quick missile dropkick doesn’t have much staying power for Ryder as Owens hits a Meathook, shouts FINISH IT and plants Ryder with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 1:39. Total squash but effective.

Recap of Rollins and Kane on Monday. That would be another loss for the champ, which of course has nothing to do with the ratings plunging.

Paige stops Natalya in the back to offer an apology for her attitude as of late. The pressure got to her and she couldn’t handle Natalya trying to take her place on Team PCB. Paige wants to make it right and just wants to be Natalya’s friend again. Natalya says this is a start and leaves.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev

Summer Rae is guest referee and Dolph doesn’t seem to mind when she takes her hair down. Rusev stomps Ziggler in the corner to start as Booker confuses Sherri Martel for his wife Sharmell. Ziggler gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade for a nice crash. Back in and Rusev charges into an elbow, followed by an elbow for a fast two. We get a Danny Davis reference, followed by Dolph’s superkick being countered into a catapult into the corner. Rusev’s jumping superkick gets the slow count required in a match like this, followed by a slap to knock Rusev into the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D+. This was every Rusev vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen plus every lame guest referee trope in the book. They’re running out of places to go with this story so instead, why not just do the exact same things over and over again and expect a different result? This was nothing interesting aside from Summer’s outfit. I’m curious to see how Lana will be received upon her return as she’ll be booed, but I’m not sure how the fans are going to respond to her being stupid for going back to Rusev instead of the normal reasons they booed her.

Post match Summer suggests she and Dolph get back together but Dolph isn’t playing those kind of games.

The Dudleyz say they have chemistry with Dean Ambrose. They’re already the best team ever and Dean is combustible. Bubba tells Renee to touch Dean’s arm. Bubba: “BOOM!” Dean says Dudleyville reminds him of Cincinnati and they’re going to take the New Day to the lunatic fringe. BOOM!

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players

Small change here as the Wyatts are in the upper left corner and the Players are in the lower right. You rarely see those changed up. Titus tries his luck against Braun to start and some corner clotheslines stagger the giant. They only stagger him though as Braun throws him into the corner and brings in Harper for a Gator Roll. O’Neil powers over for the tag to Darren as things speed up. Darren goes after the now legal Strowman but Harper superkicks him into the standing choke for the win at 2:59.

Charlotte vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Fox takes over with a quick backbreaker and we hit the chinlock. We see Team BAD watching in the back as Alicia’s northern lights suplex gets two. Both of them try big boots at the same time but it’s Charlotte up first with the spear and the Figure Eight for the submission at 3:10.

Rating: D. A three minute match shouldn’t have a 45 second chinlock. Every day that ticks by as we get closer to the pay per view, the more worried I get that they’ll give the title back to Nikki because of her “star power”. Also, how could they not throw Sasha in at this point, or at least not have her be the next challenger? She’s on fire right now and they would be crazy to not go with it.

Team Bella attacks post match but Paige makes the save.

Post break Paige thinks PCB is back together but the other two aren’t convinced. They head into their locker room and find Natalya laid out.

Video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker.

New Day vs. Dean Ambrose/Dudley Boyz

Kofi tells everyone to forget what they learned in science class because the strongest force in the universe is the power of positivity. Cena, Ziggler, Orton, D-Von, “Bully Ray Dudley” and Ambrose have all come to the New Day and gotten dropped. It’s all science you see. You could even call it geology because New Day ROCKS. Dean is in a Cincinnati shirt and earns the hometown pop. We take a break before the bell (thank goodness) and start with Kofi headlocking Bubba.

D-Von comes in for a double elbow but Kofi drives him into the bad corner. A low blow gets D-Von down into the corner for the rotating stomps. Woods gets in a running forearm in the corner but D-Von grabs a neckbreaker. Lawler lightens the mood by talking about how the New Day won’t go near a boot because it has a table of contents.

Dean comes in to clean house and Woods eats the suicide dive. The top rope standing clothesline gets two on Woods but Big E. hits a clothesline of his own. Bubba gets the tag for the Bionic Elbow (complete with trombone) to Kofi as everything breaks down. Dean goes up top for a dive on Big E. but Woods shoves him to the floor. Kofi eats 3D but Woods gets in a trombone shot for the DQ at 9:35.

Rating: C. Standard main event six man with Ambrose not really getting to do anything as the hometown boy. To be fair though he already got a big moment in Cincinnati earlier this year and that’s more than most people get. They need to do something with the Dudleyz soon though as you can only have them beat New Day by DQ so many times.

New Day lays out the Dudleyz to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Smackdown feels like a house show. Like I mentioned: there’s little reason for the wrestlers to put in much effort, the matches almost never go anywhere or are referenced on Raw and they rarely get time to do anything interesting. What happens here that I would be interested in seeing? These shows aren’t bad but they’re not important and that makes Smackdown a waste of time.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Bo Dallas – Spear

Sheamus/King Barrett b. Cesaro/Neville – Sheamus pinned Cesaro after a Bull Hammer

Kevin Owens b. Zack Ryder – Pop Up Powerbomb

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev – Zig Zag

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Standing choke to Young

Charlotte b. Alicia Fox – Figure Eight

Dudley Boyz/Dean Ambrose b. New Day via DQ when Woods used a trombone

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Impact Wrestling – October 14, 2015: Deal With It

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of the World Title Series (love the effort that went into that name) and tonight we get to see the other four groups to complete the field. It should be interesting to see how they can fit in this many people given their roster limitations, meaning we might be in for some extra surprises. The action last week was good so hopefully it continues in that direction this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation and last week. This still doesn’t make the whole thing feel any less messy and overcomplicated to get to the conclusion of a tournament.

It’s time to announce the new groups.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy

Eddie Edwards

Davey Richards

Robbie E.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz

Mica

Eli Drake

Crimson

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno

DJZ

Mandrews

Manik

Group TNA Originals

James Storm

Bobby Roode

Abyss

Eric Young

Yes Manik and not TJP because this was taped months ago and new storylines are erased.

We get a challenge from Robbie E. for NFL superstar Rob Gronkowski for some point in the future. Ignore him saying that he’ll beat Gronkowski worse than the Dallas Cowboys as that game already happened.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

We take a look at Beer Money splitting and Roode taking the World Title from Storm.

Group X-Division argued about who is the least likely to advance. Bart Simpson jokes are made.

Pope predicts DJZ and Tigre Uno advance from the group for his fearless predictions.

Group Wildcard: Aiden O’Shea vs. Kenny King

The announcers act like O’Shea is an unknown who had never been seen before Bound For Glory. We go split screen for the round table (with the roundtable being far bigger than the match) and come back with King getting two off a sunset flip as Bradley’s pants have split. A spinning kick to the face drops O’Shea but the Royal Flush is countered. Instead it’s a springboard Blockbuster to give Kenny the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. So Shelton Benjamin pinned Sheamus. A good chunk of the match was spent on the round table where O’Shea thought King could win because he’s handsome. I actually like the idea of O’Shea as there’s always room for a big power brawler. No he isn’t going anywhere but it’s nice to have him around.

Group Wildcard

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mahabali Shera – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eric Young says he’s exposing Abyss for the worthless freak that he is tonight.

Davey Richards says he lost a fair match to a better man tonight.

Here’s your latest filler: we see a group and Pope swipes right if he thinks the wrestler wins or swipes left if he thinks they lose. Abyss and Roode to win and Young and Storm to lose.

Group TNA Originals argue over who is eliminated. Storm and Abyss are annoyed over the Revolution fallout.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Abyss

Abyss splashes him in the corner to start but Eric bites the hand to block a chokeslam as we take a break. Back with the brawl heading to the break and Abyss sending him into the steps to take over. Young starts choking a lot but dives into a chokeslam attempt. Abyss has to settle for a Samoan drop for two, followed by the chokeslam for the same. Janice is brought in but Hebner takes it away, allowing Eric to get in a low blow and the top rope elbow for two. The Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the quick pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. This is the match where the reality of this Series sat in for me. Yeah the concept isn’t bad and they’ve organized it really well, but this is probably all we’re getting for the next two to three months: mediocre matches that only exist for the sake of the tournament with no one interested in doing anything outside of the ordinary. Such is life in TNA.

Group TNA Originals

Abyss – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

James Storm – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Bobby Roode – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III, on a bad Skype connection, says he was robbed of the title at Bound For Glory. He’s going to win and isn’t worried about fighting Lashley next week. This tournament doesn’t end until he wins it. Carter is really good at these closing lines.

Young says everyone is against him but he’ll win in the end.

Abyss says tonight was Young’s night. Roode and Storm will have their nights.

Group Tag Team Specialist: Eddie Edwards vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start until Eddie gets in a running knee to the face. Robbie sends him out to the floor and takes Eddie down with a nice dive. A legdrop gets two on Eddie as we hear Matt Hardy picking Robbie E. as the least likely to advance. They slug it out on the floor until Eddie takes over with some chops, only to walk into the Boom Drop for two. So much for Robbie’s chances. The backpack Stunner out of the corner gets the same for Eddie but Robbie grabs a reverse DDT for the clean pin at 5:49.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting and I like the idea of Robbie getting a win here. I can’t imagine he goes anywhere in this thing but it’s cool to see him going somewhere and not being treated as a joke for a change. Edwards continues to be far better than Richards in just about every way.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie shakes his hand post match.

NXT – October 14, 2015: One For Less Than The Price Of Five

NXT
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re past Takeover: Respect now and the question is who comes after Finn Balor’s NXT Title next. In theory it’s Samoa Joe, who teamed with Balor to win the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic last week. Other than that we’re going to find out who is next to go after Bayley now that Sasha Banks is likely gone. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Takeover: Respect. What an awesome show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Bayley to get things going but she has to stop for a MATCH OF THE YEAR chant. Last week’s show was amazing from top to bottom, especially the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic because Dusty had such an impact on this place. The main event was her dream come true because it took the Divas Revolution to a whole new level. That’s true. Not only did they have stupid tagline and Twitter hashtags, some of them might have even been trending. You know that means they’ve made it.

They want women’s wrestling to be respected but here are Alexa Bliss with Blake and Murphy to interrupt. The fans actually give Alexa the WHAT treatment and I really hope that doesn’t become a thing down here. Bliss talks about how awesome Bayley is and how proud she should be of what she accomplished. The future for the women of NXT has no limit and she’s happy to share it with Bayley.

Bliss takes the title and says they won’t be sharing this. She didn’t write letters to herself when she was ten, but she wants the title too. Bayley isn’t worthy of being champion and it’s going to be a lot easier when Bliss takes it from her. For real. Well at least it’s not Eva Marie.

Last week, Regal congratulated Balor and Joe on winning the tournament. Joe gets right to the point: he’s undefeated since he arrived and would like a title shot. Balor would love to give him a shot but Regal says it’s not that simple and makes a battle royal for the #1 contendership. Joe isn’t happy but Regal isn’t budging.

Tye Dillinger, Apollo Crews and Rhyno all say they’ll win the battle royal.

Breast cancer is bad.

Vaudevillains vs. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton

Non-title. English spins around to take over on Dawkins’ arm as Graves goes on about how weird the Vaudevillains are. A Fulton distraction lets Angelo get in a shot to the face and it’s off to Sawyer for some big shots in the corner. Angelo talks some loud trash as Fulton hooks a quick chinlock. A missed charge in the corner allows for the tag off to Gotch, who the fans find manly. Gotch suplexes Dawkins down and knocks off one of his headbands (don’t worry he has a second), setting up the Whirling Dervish to pin Dawkins at 3:14.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here but it was little more than a way to remind the fans that Vaudevillains are in fact a thing. They haven’t gotten a lot of focus lately but I have a feeling that Gable and Jordan will be more than enough of a challenge for them going forward. The Mechanics, who beat them in the Dusty Classic, are going to be around too.

Speaking of which, the Mechanics bring up the tournament match and think it means they’re the #1 contenders. However, they’ve been dealt the cards of Enzo and Cass, who will learn their lesson soon enough.

Clip of Asuka destroying Dana Brooke.

Dana was getting looked at when Asuka came up to laugh at her. She stared Emma down as well with that creepy smile. I like Asuka more and more every time as she’s almost eery at times.

Evie vs. Nia Jax

Nia Jax has some size to her, looking to be about the same level as Havok. The fans do the Baron Corbin counting and Nia shoves Evie into the corner. We hit an early bearhug followed by a splash in the corner. Fans: “JUST STAY DOWN!” Evie fires off some kicks but a release Rock Bottom ends her at 2:12. So we have Bayley, Asuka, Nia, Bliss, Brooke/Emma and the new jobbers who could easily be elevated. The division is already being rebuilt and it’s already looking good.

Package on the praise for the Iron Man match.

Tyler Breeze and Baron Corbin say they’ll win.

Eva Marie is in Paris for some me time.

Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Johnny Gargano, Tye Dillinger, Colin Cassady, Enzo Amore, Danny Burch, Elias Sampson, Mojo Rawley, Blake, Murphy, Rhyno, Tyler Breeze, Scott Dawson, Dash Wilder, Bull Dempsey, Baron Corbin, Apollo Crews, Samoa Joe, Zack Ryder, Steve Cutler, Riddick Moss

I think that’s everyone but I can’t fine a complete list anywhere. Only Rhyno, Corbin and Joe get entrances. A group of guys go after Joe to start and they get him to the apron but he punches his way back to safety. Everyone brawls with everyone as there’s too much to call early on. Gargano hides in the corner and ties himself around the ropes. Steve Cutler is the first elimination after three minutes.

Burch and Sampson are put out as well with Gargano following them. All four were put out by Crews in quite the display. Back from a break with no one having been eliminated during the break. Enzo and Blake have to save themselves but both stay in. Cass throws Moss out but the Mechanics get rid of him, only to have Enzo dump both of them at once. Dillinger eliminates Enzo but gets beaten up and tossed by Dempsey. Rhyno saves Corbin and eliminates Bull to get us down to ten.

We’ve got Ciampa, Ryder, Breeze, Joe, Crews, Blake, Murphy, Corbin, Rawley and Rhyno still left. Corbin dumps Rawley as the fans are behind Breeze. Things start to slow down and Breeze has to survive a double team from Blake and Murphy. Corbin eliminates Ryder and then turns on Rhyno to get rid of him as well. We take another break and come back with Blake, Murphy, Crews, Joe, Corbin and Breeze as Ciampa was put out during the break.

Joe dumps out Blake and Murphy at the same time before blocking the Supermodel Kick and erupting on Breeze. A running boot eliminates Tyler and it’s down to three. Corbin throws Joe to the apron and Breeze pulls him out to get us down to Crews vs. Corbin. Fans: “THANK YOU TYLER!” That’s a very interesting result.

They drive each other into the corner and the fans are entirely behind Crews. A spinebuster plants Apollo but Corbin gets frustrated when Crews stays on the apron. Apollo starts his comeback but the moonsault hits knees. Crews comes back with a series of kicks to the head though and a clothesline eliminates Corbin for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C+. Battle royals are always tricky to grade but this was more than entertaining enough. They flew through some of the eliminations here but the result is a good way to give us a new #1 contender and challenger for the title. There are only so many ways to run a battle royal and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Overall Rating: B+. In 58 minutes, we have a new #1 contender to the Women’s Title, Tag Team Titles and NXT Title, as well as a new feud between Joe and Breeze and an awesome debut for Nia Jax. As usual, NXT knows how to use its time better than any other wrestling show I’ve ever seen as they got everything accomplished in less than an hour with almost no time wasted. Another really good show this week and it flew by. Why can’t WWE do in five hours what NXT can do in one?

Results

Vaudevillains b. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton – Whirling Dervish to Dawkins

Nia Jax b. Evie – Release Rock Bottom

Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Baron Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

New Column: The Worldwide Leader In Not Knowing The Difference

Looking at the difference between real fake and fake real in wrestling.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-worldwide-leader-in-not-knowing-the-difference/42877/

Monday Nitro – May 22, 2000: Help Yourself

Monday Nitro #241
Date: May 22, 2000
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 6,530
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

So Flair is World Champion but the forces of bad health don’t want us to have some sanity in WCW and Flair collapsed to end last week’s Thunder. This was a legitimate inner ear issue that screwed him up and not like that time where they had Ric Flair have a heart attack that wasn’t referenced again outside of a one off moment. Odds are this is going to change the title status so let’s get to it.

It probably won’t matter but this show aired an hour earlier due to the NBA Playoffs.

We open with a recap of the New Blood falling apart. Remember: as soon as Bischoff and Russo were gone for a single night, the whole team started falling apart. They need that strong and MANLY influence of Vince Russo to keep them in line.

Russo, Jeff Jarrett, David Flair and Liz arrive behind a hearse. They’re all in black and it’s time for the funeral of Ric Flair’s career. Russo has the World Title for reasons that aren’t clear.

Booker T. vs. The Cat

Weapons match. The announcers explain that it’s just martial arts weapons so Cat brings in a chair. Some martial arts sticks to the back put Booker down and Mark Madden says Cat is Eric Bischoff’s son Garrett’s martial arts instructor. Cat dances a bit and keeps hitting Booker with the sticks as this is already boring. Booker starts his comeback but Cat hits him in the head with one of the sticks.

Some kendo stick shots have Booker in even more trouble as this just keeps going. A quick Book End gives Booker a breather and he hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Shawn Stasiak to help Cat with the beatdown (I guess his fists count as weapons?) and Cat cartwheel kicks the chair into Booker’s face for the pin.

Rating: D-. Was there a point here that I was missing? This was a big waste of time as Cat still doesn’t have much of a personality yet. Also I love that their idea of pushing Booker is to have him lose matches because that’s going to get him over so quickly. Bad match because it was barely a match, though some of Cat’s stick shots looked good.

The Misfits come out for the save. Major Gunns loads up CPR for Booker but here are Bischoff and Kimberly to interrupt. The fans chant some swearing at Bischoff and it keeps getting censored, making it sound like Bischoff’s mic keeps cutting out. Bischoff talks about some business deal in California that is going to change the face of the New Blood. Eric offers the Misfits a spot in the New Blood but they tell them what he can kiss. In case he doesn’t get the idea, Major Gunns lowers her shorts for a visual.

The Millionaire’s Club, minus Nash, arrives. Hogan: “Nash is late again.” Sting: “That’s his gimmick. That’s his giz-immick.”

Post break, Bischoff fires Booker but can’t fire the Misfits for reasons that aren’t clear.

Russo and company are around Ric’s casket, which contains his robe and a huge nose. Everyone is all sad over this and I’m more sad that this idea was later used by TNA for Team 3D in one of their funniest segments ever. Why am I not watching that instead?

Madden cries as Terry Taylor arrives with Ric Flair’s son Reid.

Terry Funk held a press conference earlier today and might be retiring later tonight.

Here’s Daffney to say that Crowbar knows she’s the real Cruiserweight Champion so come out here right now to talk about this like reasonable adults.

Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Crowbar

They’re co-champions coming in as part of another story that hasn’t had a chance to go anywhere and is being blown off a week after it started. They thumb wrestle to start before Crowbar gives her an Indian burn. Cue Miss Hancock as Crowbar won’t hurricanrana Daffney off the top. She’ll give him one though, causing Crowbar to give her a slingshot splash. Crowbar immediately apologizes but here are Chris Candido and Tammy to attack him. Candido dropkicks a chair into Crowbar’s face and piledrives him onto the chair, giving Daffney (called Daffney Unger by Tony) the pin and the undisputed title.

Rating: D. What was wrong with Candido holding the title? He’s 28 here, a veteran and talented. Therefore, it’s time to put the belt on ANOTHER comedy act because that’s what Russo thinks is best for it. The cruiserweights were such an important part of WCW’s heyday so obviously the solution is to turn them into a joke right? Oh and male vs. female. That should be a drinking game: take a shot anytime a woman is attacked by a man. You’ll have a good buzz every week and it might even make the show go faster.

The Kid Cam is back and we see Torrie Wilson on Horace’s back giving him a massage.

Booker tells the Misfits to stay tuned next week.

Ralphus and Norman are washing cars for $1 apiece.

Kidman yells at Bischoff and company about Horace. Eric: “You’re the one that wanted to hang on to the hot looking blonde.” They come up to Torrie and make her referee. Eric beats up a referee and takes his shirt to give to Torrie. Kidman and Horace start brawling and I guess this is their match.

Kidman vs. Horace Hogan

Torrie is guest refereeing and wearing a referee’s shirt that looks like a short dress on her. They come out to ringside and of course Bischoff jumps in on commentary, calling this internal politics. Kidman takes over inside and the camera keeps cutting to Bischoff, the real star of the match. Hogan comes back with a big boot and grabs a table. Cue Hulk as Kidman counters a powerbomb. Horace is placed on the table so Hogan throws Kidman off the top and through his nephew. Torrie is forced to count the pin.

Rating: D. I’m sick of this story and it’s getting worse every single week. I’ll give them credit for trying to do something with Kidman and Horace but the two of them are being treated like big pawns (ok maybe bishops) in the Hogan vs. Bischoff feud. As usual, the story is so convoluted and messy that I have no idea what the point is even supposed to be.

Hulk says Bischoff used to be a cool guy but now he’s heard Bischoff is going to have a special referee at the pay per view. He doesn’t care who it is because he’ll beat them up anyway. Oh and Eric is something censored. Is there a reason Hulk won’t say the pay per view’s name?

Jarrett and Russo make jokes around the casket.

Taylor asks Reid if he’s ok with everything.

The Filthy Animals arrive in a bouncing car and the Misfits take notice.

Here’s Terry Funk in a tuxedo for a major announcement. His daughter (who he calls Old Blue) is here in the front row. Funk’s family thinks this announcement is way overdue but Bischoff tells someone to go to the ring. He’s told his aunt Eleanor and uncle Dutch (Madden: “DUTCH???” Tony: “Yes, Dutch Funk.”) to watch tonight but here are Shane Douglas and some New Blood lackeys to interrupt. The announcement: Terry is a grandfather! Oh and he’s retiring June 1.

Make that June 1, 2001 because his contract was extended for another year. This brings the New Blood members to the ring and Terry is quickly beaten down. Two piledrivers onto the chair knocks him out and Funk’s daughter tries to come in, only to get shoved down. Shane covers him and Cat counts the pin (with Funk not even keeping his shoulder down after that kind of a beating). Douglas takes the title and knowing WCW, that counts as a title change.

The Misfits come out to help Ralphus and Norman was the Animals’ car. Gunns distracts Ralphus and Stash changes the buckets.

Clip of the Kanyon interview from Thunder.

Here’s Mike Awesome in a wheelchair and with a halo around his head and neck. He mocks Kanyon for being out of wrestling and says he wants Page to come out here for some reason. Instead he gets the Wall and it’s time for a tables vs. ambulance match. Tables vs. amb…..WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? It sounds like Russo was watching Frankenstein vs. the Wolfman one night and camp up with this match while he was falling asleep. Let’s get this over with.

The Wall vs. Mike Awesome

Wall kicks him in the face to start and scores with a powerslam. Not that it matters as Mike backdrops him through a table and wins it in less than 90 seconds. So it was a tables match. In Russo’s world, tables + ambulances = tables. Therefore, ambulances are in fact worthless.

Wall pops up and goes after Awesome but Shane Douglas runs out with a steel pipe. They fight into the back and Page pops out of an ambulance (because he was just in there) and everyone brawls.

We cut to the casket bring brought to the ring…..with Shane and Awesome in different clothes walking alongside it. This doesn’t even surprise me anymore.

Norman and Ralphus pour on whatever is in the new bucket. It looks like paint or paint remover.

It’s time for the Ric Flair funeral. We see a clip of Ric collapsing on Thunder and Russo goes on about how he told Ric to retire. The fans think he suck but Russo says he has the belt, which he returns to Jeff Jarrett for his third World Title in thirty six days. Russo pulls out Flair’s Rolex to throw in the casket and you know exactly what’s about to happen. Naturally Kevin Nash pops out of the casket because we haven’t seen him in a long time. He takes the title just in case you hadn’t forgotten those horrible days.

Post break Russo tells Nash that he has 45 minutes to give the title back or it’s a no holds barred match. The champ was in the background here and, again, this was all about Russo.

Here’s Scott Steiner with the Freaks dressed as University of Michigan cheerleaders. Steiner talks about the dark side of the moon rising and something that is bleeped out. As for the point tonight, Scott is now bringing his own circular cage called the Asylum and you can only get out by submitting.

Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner

Non-title because the US Title hasn’t meant anything in months. They start fighting as the cage is slowly lowered, making the gimmick even less important. Scott belly to bellies him down and puts on the Recliner but Scott falls for the Tank Abbott Goldberg entrance all over again. He lets go of the hold (after three minutes according to Madden) as Tank comes out with bolt cutters. Those don’t work so he beats up the guy that controls the cage and raises it up to help Rick beat Scott down. This brings out Nash (again) to help save Scott.

Pamela Paulshock, the new fake chest with a pretty blonde interviewer attached, asks Nash about what he just did. Nash wants a title shot tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Liz is here with Palumbo along with the security. Page gets a quick two off a belly to belly, followed by a Batista Bomb for the same. Elizabeth slams Palumbo into a rollup for two before a double clothesline puts both guys down for an eight count. Cue Kimberly to hit Liz in the back with a ball bat so the referee leaves the ring, allowing Awesome to come in with the halo. Page looks at Awesome and stands there so Mike can hit him in the face. Palumbo racks Page for the win.

Luger comes out and takes a beating of his own. Palumbo hits him in the face with the exercise bar and Luger has to go out on a stretcher.

Kimberly blames Liz for what just happened to her. I’m having a lot of trouble feeling sorry for Liz when she hasn’t taken one of her 948 chances to escape.

Here are Terry Taylor and 12 year old Reid Flair, the latter of whom wants his brother David to come out. David and Daffney come out and Reid apologizes for whatever he’s done because the family needs David. Daffney hits Terry with the Statue of Liberty but Reid, an amateur wrestling champion, double legs David down. David pops back up and puts him in the Figure Four until security breaks it up.

Vampiro vs. Hulk Hogan

Remember when this was a thing a few months ago? Well this time Vampiro comes out with a blowtorch and a can of gasoline. Vampiro jumps him to start and knocks Hogan out to the floor. A superkick knocks Hogan up against the barricade but he comes right back with punches to the face.

Hogan chairs him in the back and beats up the table for a bit before it’s weightlifting belt time. Madden runs down WWF’s finishes as Hogan slams Vampiro down. Madden: “I’m orgasmic!” Hogan kicks him low and drops the leg but opts to punch instead of cover. This brings in Kidman to hit Hogan in the head with the blowtorch to give Vampiro the pin.

Rating: F. Weapons, run-ins, Mark Madden’s orgasms. Pick a reason why this was bad and go from there.

Sting saves Hogan from being set on fire (little reaction) and lays Vampiro out.

It was in fact paint remover, triggering another brawl between the Misfits and the Animals. Major Gunns has to reluctantly give Ralphus mouth to mouth. Naturally she winds up getting tongue, which Tony finds hilarious.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

It’s not clear if Jarrett is defending or if the title is vacant coming in. Before the bell rings, cue Russo to knock out the referee and take over his job. That’s very manly of him. Jeff hammers away to start but walks into Snake Eyes. Tony casually throws in that this is falls count anywhere. Russo’s slow count is good for one and Jeff pops up for a chair to Nash’s head. Nash no sells it of course and follows Jeff to the floor.

Another Snake Eyes on the apron is good for one as Russo crotch chops Kevin instead. A belt shot barely puts Nash down and Russo maces him to break up the Jackknife. There’s a bad looking Stroke but cue Steiner to beat Jeff down. That earns Steiner mace as well, allowing security to handcuff him to the ropes.

Nash starts choking Russo as he covers Jeff but it’s only good for two. They head outside with Nash loading up a powerbomb on Russo, only to have the blood fall……next to them. Nash is nice enough to take a step to the side so it at least touches him, allowing Jarrett to guitar him down and get the pin for the title. Or maybe to keep it as it’s not really clear.

Rating: D-. The fact that WCW still doesn’t seem to know whether or not that’s a new champion or a title defense sums up the show quite well. As usual it was way too much at once and the whole thing came off as a big mess that was thrown together instead of anything that I might want to watch.

Bischoff comes out to say that’s just the beginning for Nash. The people can bite them. Jeff declares himself the Chosen One again to end the show. That’s a cry for attention if I’ve ever heard one.

Overall Rating: F. This show was such a disaster that I don’t even know where to start. There were way too many gimmick matches (many of which ranged from stupid to nonsensical), plot devices flying by in minutes instead of over a week, ridiculous editing errors such and WAY too much Russo. That continues to be the biggest problem: Russo is all over this show and everything is about him. There’s almost nothing good about this show and it’s the same problems over and over again. WCW is beyond one saving grace at this point and it’s creating more problems for itself every single week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ESPN Announces Weekly WWE Segment

http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/630053-espn-announces-weekly-wwe-recap-segment-details-highlights-of-seth-rollins-appearance-tonight

I can’t wait to hear all the purists whine about how this isn’t real but having to leave to go see who Matthew Berry says they should bench for their fantasy team this week.

Cool news for wrestling fans as this is going to be about five minutes a week and could lead to more coverage down the line.