Impact Wrestling – October 14, 2015: Deal With It

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the second week of the World Title Series (love the effort that went into that name) and tonight we get to see the other four groups to complete the field. It should be interesting to see how they can fit in this many people given their roster limitations, meaning we might be in for some extra surprises. The action last week was good so hopefully it continues in that direction this week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation and last week. This still doesn’t make the whole thing feel any less messy and overcomplicated to get to the conclusion of a tournament.

It’s time to announce the new groups.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy

Eddie Edwards

Davey Richards

Robbie E.

Group Future Four

Jesse Godderz

Mica

Eli Drake

Crimson

Group X-Division

Tigre Uno

DJZ

Mandrews

Manik

Group TNA Originals

James Storm

Bobby Roode

Abyss

Eric Young

Yes Manik and not TJP because this was taped months ago and new storylines are erased.

We get a challenge from Robbie E. for NFL superstar Rob Gronkowski for some point in the future. Ignore him saying that he’ll beat Gronkowski worse than the Dallas Cowboys as that game already happened.

Group Tag Team Specialists: Matt Hardy vs. Davey Richards

So it’s Group Rockers. Davey takes him down to start and works on a leg lock but lets it go just as quickly. We get a chat from the round table discussion where Davey is pretty passive about the whole thing but Matt wants the title back. They head to the apron with Matt grabbing a quick Side Effect to send Davey to the floor.

Back in and Matt hooks a sleeper but Davey fights back with a jawbreaker to knock Matt to the floor, followed by a suicide dive. Josh: “Of course the ending to Bound For Glory has been trending for two weeks.” Back in and Davey fires off kicks until Matt grabs the Side Effect for two more. Matt dives into a kick to the ribs but Davey misses a top rope double stomp, setting up the Twist of Fate to give Matt the pin at 9:06.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Matt doing his normal stuff and Davey doing all of his kicks. Matt would have been fine for a token title reign but giving him one in the spot they did it and the quick fallout are going to make it much more infamous than a feel good moment. You almost have to expect Matt to advance into the round of sixteen, likely winding up against Galloway or Carter down the line.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

We take a look at Beer Money splitting and Roode taking the World Title from Storm.

Group X-Division argued about who is the least likely to advance. Bart Simpson jokes are made.

Pope predicts DJZ and Tigre Uno advance from the group for his fearless predictions.

Group Wildcard: Aiden O’Shea vs. Kenny King

The announcers act like O’Shea is an unknown who had never been seen before Bound For Glory. We go split screen for the round table (with the roundtable being far bigger than the match) and come back with King getting two off a sunset flip as Bradley’s pants have split. A spinning kick to the face drops O’Shea but the Royal Flush is countered. Instead it’s a springboard Blockbuster to give Kenny the pin at 4:44.

Rating: C-. So Shelton Benjamin pinned Sheamus. A good chunk of the match was spent on the round table where O’Shea thought King could win because he’s handsome. I actually like the idea of O’Shea as there’s always room for a big power brawler. No he isn’t going anywhere but it’s nice to have him around.

Group Wildcard

Kenny King – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Crazzy Steve – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Mahabali Shera – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Aiden O’Shea – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eric Young says he’s exposing Abyss for the worthless freak that he is tonight.

Davey Richards says he lost a fair match to a better man tonight.

Here’s your latest filler: we see a group and Pope swipes right if he thinks the wrestler wins or swipes left if he thinks they lose. Abyss and Roode to win and Young and Storm to lose.

Group TNA Originals argue over who is eliminated. Storm and Abyss are annoyed over the Revolution fallout.

Group TNA Originals: Eric Young vs. Abyss

Abyss splashes him in the corner to start but Eric bites the hand to block a chokeslam as we take a break. Back with the brawl heading to the break and Abyss sending him into the steps to take over. Young starts choking a lot but dives into a chokeslam attempt. Abyss has to settle for a Samoan drop for two, followed by the chokeslam for the same. Janice is brought in but Hebner takes it away, allowing Eric to get in a low blow and the top rope elbow for two. The Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the quick pin at 10:39.

Rating: D+. This is the match where the reality of this Series sat in for me. Yeah the concept isn’t bad and they’ve organized it really well, but this is probably all we’re getting for the next two to three months: mediocre matches that only exist for the sake of the tournament with no one interested in doing anything outside of the ordinary. Such is life in TNA.

Group TNA Originals

Abyss – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

James Storm – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Bobby Roode – 0 points (3 matches remaining)

Eric Young – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Ethan Carter III, on a bad Skype connection, says he was robbed of the title at Bound For Glory. He’s going to win and isn’t worried about fighting Lashley next week. This tournament doesn’t end until he wins it. Carter is really good at these closing lines.

Young says everyone is against him but he’ll win in the end.

Abyss says tonight was Young’s night. Roode and Storm will have their nights.

Group Tag Team Specialist: Eddie Edwards vs. Robbie E.

Feeling out process to start until Eddie gets in a running knee to the face. Robbie sends him out to the floor and takes Eddie down with a nice dive. A legdrop gets two on Eddie as we hear Matt Hardy picking Robbie E. as the least likely to advance. They slug it out on the floor until Eddie takes over with some chops, only to walk into the Boom Drop for two. So much for Robbie’s chances. The backpack Stunner out of the corner gets the same for Eddie but Robbie grabs a reverse DDT for the clean pin at 5:49.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting and I like the idea of Robbie getting a win here. I can’t imagine he goes anywhere in this thing but it’s cool to see him going somewhere and not being treated as a joke for a change. Edwards continues to be far better than Richards in just about every way.

Group Tag Team Specialists

Matt Hardy – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Robbie E. – 3 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie Edwards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Davey Richards – 0 points (2 matches remaining)

Eddie shakes his hand post match.

NXT – October 14, 2015: One For Less Than The Price Of Five

NXT
Date: October 14, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re past Takeover: Respect now and the question is who comes after Finn Balor’s NXT Title next. In theory it’s Samoa Joe, who teamed with Balor to win the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic last week. Other than that we’re going to find out who is next to go after Bayley now that Sasha Banks is likely gone. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Takeover: Respect. What an awesome show.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Bayley to get things going but she has to stop for a MATCH OF THE YEAR chant. Last week’s show was amazing from top to bottom, especially the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic because Dusty had such an impact on this place. The main event was her dream come true because it took the Divas Revolution to a whole new level. That’s true. Not only did they have stupid tagline and Twitter hashtags, some of them might have even been trending. You know that means they’ve made it.

They want women’s wrestling to be respected but here are Alexa Bliss with Blake and Murphy to interrupt. The fans actually give Alexa the WHAT treatment and I really hope that doesn’t become a thing down here. Bliss talks about how awesome Bayley is and how proud she should be of what she accomplished. The future for the women of NXT has no limit and she’s happy to share it with Bayley.

Bliss takes the title and says they won’t be sharing this. She didn’t write letters to herself when she was ten, but she wants the title too. Bayley isn’t worthy of being champion and it’s going to be a lot easier when Bliss takes it from her. For real. Well at least it’s not Eva Marie.

Last week, Regal congratulated Balor and Joe on winning the tournament. Joe gets right to the point: he’s undefeated since he arrived and would like a title shot. Balor would love to give him a shot but Regal says it’s not that simple and makes a battle royal for the #1 contendership. Joe isn’t happy but Regal isn’t budging.

Tye Dillinger, Apollo Crews and Rhyno all say they’ll win the battle royal.

Breast cancer is bad.

Vaudevillains vs. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton

Non-title. English spins around to take over on Dawkins’ arm as Graves goes on about how weird the Vaudevillains are. A Fulton distraction lets Angelo get in a shot to the face and it’s off to Sawyer for some big shots in the corner. Angelo talks some loud trash as Fulton hooks a quick chinlock. A missed charge in the corner allows for the tag off to Gotch, who the fans find manly. Gotch suplexes Dawkins down and knocks off one of his headbands (don’t worry he has a second), setting up the Whirling Dervish to pin Dawkins at 3:14.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here but it was little more than a way to remind the fans that Vaudevillains are in fact a thing. They haven’t gotten a lot of focus lately but I have a feeling that Gable and Jordan will be more than enough of a challenge for them going forward. The Mechanics, who beat them in the Dusty Classic, are going to be around too.

Speaking of which, the Mechanics bring up the tournament match and think it means they’re the #1 contenders. However, they’ve been dealt the cards of Enzo and Cass, who will learn their lesson soon enough.

Clip of Asuka destroying Dana Brooke.

Dana was getting looked at when Asuka came up to laugh at her. She stared Emma down as well with that creepy smile. I like Asuka more and more every time as she’s almost eery at times.

Evie vs. Nia Jax

Nia Jax has some size to her, looking to be about the same level as Havok. The fans do the Baron Corbin counting and Nia shoves Evie into the corner. We hit an early bearhug followed by a splash in the corner. Fans: “JUST STAY DOWN!” Evie fires off some kicks but a release Rock Bottom ends her at 2:12. So we have Bayley, Asuka, Nia, Bliss, Brooke/Emma and the new jobbers who could easily be elevated. The division is already being rebuilt and it’s already looking good.

Package on the praise for the Iron Man match.

Tyler Breeze and Baron Corbin say they’ll win.

Eva Marie is in Paris for some me time.

Battle Royal

Tommaso Ciampa, Johnny Gargano, Tye Dillinger, Colin Cassady, Enzo Amore, Danny Burch, Elias Sampson, Mojo Rawley, Blake, Murphy, Rhyno, Tyler Breeze, Scott Dawson, Dash Wilder, Bull Dempsey, Baron Corbin, Apollo Crews, Samoa Joe, Zack Ryder, Steve Cutler, Riddick Moss

I think that’s everyone but I can’t fine a complete list anywhere. Only Rhyno, Corbin and Joe get entrances. A group of guys go after Joe to start and they get him to the apron but he punches his way back to safety. Everyone brawls with everyone as there’s too much to call early on. Gargano hides in the corner and ties himself around the ropes. Steve Cutler is the first elimination after three minutes.

Burch and Sampson are put out as well with Gargano following them. All four were put out by Crews in quite the display. Back from a break with no one having been eliminated during the break. Enzo and Blake have to save themselves but both stay in. Cass throws Moss out but the Mechanics get rid of him, only to have Enzo dump both of them at once. Dillinger eliminates Enzo but gets beaten up and tossed by Dempsey. Rhyno saves Corbin and eliminates Bull to get us down to ten.

We’ve got Ciampa, Ryder, Breeze, Joe, Crews, Blake, Murphy, Corbin, Rawley and Rhyno still left. Corbin dumps Rawley as the fans are behind Breeze. Things start to slow down and Breeze has to survive a double team from Blake and Murphy. Corbin eliminates Ryder and then turns on Rhyno to get rid of him as well. We take another break and come back with Blake, Murphy, Crews, Joe, Corbin and Breeze as Ciampa was put out during the break.

Joe dumps out Blake and Murphy at the same time before blocking the Supermodel Kick and erupting on Breeze. A running boot eliminates Tyler and it’s down to three. Corbin throws Joe to the apron and Breeze pulls him out to get us down to Crews vs. Corbin. Fans: “THANK YOU TYLER!” That’s a very interesting result.

They drive each other into the corner and the fans are entirely behind Crews. A spinebuster plants Apollo but Corbin gets frustrated when Crews stays on the apron. Apollo starts his comeback but the moonsault hits knees. Crews comes back with a series of kicks to the head though and a clothesline eliminates Corbin for the win at 23:12.

Rating: C+. Battle royals are always tricky to grade but this was more than entertaining enough. They flew through some of the eliminations here but the result is a good way to give us a new #1 contender and challenger for the title. There are only so many ways to run a battle royal and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Overall Rating: B+. In 58 minutes, we have a new #1 contender to the Women’s Title, Tag Team Titles and NXT Title, as well as a new feud between Joe and Breeze and an awesome debut for Nia Jax. As usual, NXT knows how to use its time better than any other wrestling show I’ve ever seen as they got everything accomplished in less than an hour with almost no time wasted. Another really good show this week and it flew by. Why can’t WWE do in five hours what NXT can do in one?

Results

Vaudevillains b. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton – Whirling Dervish to Dawkins

Nia Jax b. Evie – Release Rock Bottom

Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Baron Corbin

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

New Column: The Worldwide Leader In Not Knowing The Difference

Looking at the difference between real fake and fake real in wrestling.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-worldwide-leader-in-not-knowing-the-difference/42877/

Monday Nitro – May 22, 2000: Help Yourself

Monday Nitro #241
Date: May 22, 2000
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 6,530
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Mark Madden

So Flair is World Champion but the forces of bad health don’t want us to have some sanity in WCW and Flair collapsed to end last week’s Thunder. This was a legitimate inner ear issue that screwed him up and not like that time where they had Ric Flair have a heart attack that wasn’t referenced again outside of a one off moment. Odds are this is going to change the title status so let’s get to it.

It probably won’t matter but this show aired an hour earlier due to the NBA Playoffs.

We open with a recap of the New Blood falling apart. Remember: as soon as Bischoff and Russo were gone for a single night, the whole team started falling apart. They need that strong and MANLY influence of Vince Russo to keep them in line.

Russo, Jeff Jarrett, David Flair and Liz arrive behind a hearse. They’re all in black and it’s time for the funeral of Ric Flair’s career. Russo has the World Title for reasons that aren’t clear.

Booker T. vs. The Cat

Weapons match. The announcers explain that it’s just martial arts weapons so Cat brings in a chair. Some martial arts sticks to the back put Booker down and Mark Madden says Cat is Eric Bischoff’s son Garrett’s martial arts instructor. Cat dances a bit and keeps hitting Booker with the sticks as this is already boring. Booker starts his comeback but Cat hits him in the head with one of the sticks.

Some kendo stick shots have Booker in even more trouble as this just keeps going. A quick Book End gives Booker a breather and he hammers away with the kendo stick. Cue Shawn Stasiak to help Cat with the beatdown (I guess his fists count as weapons?) and Cat cartwheel kicks the chair into Booker’s face for the pin.

Rating: D-. Was there a point here that I was missing? This was a big waste of time as Cat still doesn’t have much of a personality yet. Also I love that their idea of pushing Booker is to have him lose matches because that’s going to get him over so quickly. Bad match because it was barely a match, though some of Cat’s stick shots looked good.

The Misfits come out for the save. Major Gunns loads up CPR for Booker but here are Bischoff and Kimberly to interrupt. The fans chant some swearing at Bischoff and it keeps getting censored, making it sound like Bischoff’s mic keeps cutting out. Bischoff talks about some business deal in California that is going to change the face of the New Blood. Eric offers the Misfits a spot in the New Blood but they tell them what he can kiss. In case he doesn’t get the idea, Major Gunns lowers her shorts for a visual.

The Millionaire’s Club, minus Nash, arrives. Hogan: “Nash is late again.” Sting: “That’s his gimmick. That’s his giz-immick.”

Post break, Bischoff fires Booker but can’t fire the Misfits for reasons that aren’t clear.

Russo and company are around Ric’s casket, which contains his robe and a huge nose. Everyone is all sad over this and I’m more sad that this idea was later used by TNA for Team 3D in one of their funniest segments ever. Why am I not watching that instead?

Madden cries as Terry Taylor arrives with Ric Flair’s son Reid.

Terry Funk held a press conference earlier today and might be retiring later tonight.

Here’s Daffney to say that Crowbar knows she’s the real Cruiserweight Champion so come out here right now to talk about this like reasonable adults.

Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Crowbar

They’re co-champions coming in as part of another story that hasn’t had a chance to go anywhere and is being blown off a week after it started. They thumb wrestle to start before Crowbar gives her an Indian burn. Cue Miss Hancock as Crowbar won’t hurricanrana Daffney off the top. She’ll give him one though, causing Crowbar to give her a slingshot splash. Crowbar immediately apologizes but here are Chris Candido and Tammy to attack him. Candido dropkicks a chair into Crowbar’s face and piledrives him onto the chair, giving Daffney (called Daffney Unger by Tony) the pin and the undisputed title.

Rating: D. What was wrong with Candido holding the title? He’s 28 here, a veteran and talented. Therefore, it’s time to put the belt on ANOTHER comedy act because that’s what Russo thinks is best for it. The cruiserweights were such an important part of WCW’s heyday so obviously the solution is to turn them into a joke right? Oh and male vs. female. That should be a drinking game: take a shot anytime a woman is attacked by a man. You’ll have a good buzz every week and it might even make the show go faster.

The Kid Cam is back and we see Torrie Wilson on Horace’s back giving him a massage.

Booker tells the Misfits to stay tuned next week.

Ralphus and Norman are washing cars for $1 apiece.

Kidman yells at Bischoff and company about Horace. Eric: “You’re the one that wanted to hang on to the hot looking blonde.” They come up to Torrie and make her referee. Eric beats up a referee and takes his shirt to give to Torrie. Kidman and Horace start brawling and I guess this is their match.

Kidman vs. Horace Hogan

Torrie is guest refereeing and wearing a referee’s shirt that looks like a short dress on her. They come out to ringside and of course Bischoff jumps in on commentary, calling this internal politics. Kidman takes over inside and the camera keeps cutting to Bischoff, the real star of the match. Hogan comes back with a big boot and grabs a table. Cue Hulk as Kidman counters a powerbomb. Horace is placed on the table so Hogan throws Kidman off the top and through his nephew. Torrie is forced to count the pin.

Rating: D. I’m sick of this story and it’s getting worse every single week. I’ll give them credit for trying to do something with Kidman and Horace but the two of them are being treated like big pawns (ok maybe bishops) in the Hogan vs. Bischoff feud. As usual, the story is so convoluted and messy that I have no idea what the point is even supposed to be.

Hulk says Bischoff used to be a cool guy but now he’s heard Bischoff is going to have a special referee at the pay per view. He doesn’t care who it is because he’ll beat them up anyway. Oh and Eric is something censored. Is there a reason Hulk won’t say the pay per view’s name?

Jarrett and Russo make jokes around the casket.

Taylor asks Reid if he’s ok with everything.

The Filthy Animals arrive in a bouncing car and the Misfits take notice.

Here’s Terry Funk in a tuxedo for a major announcement. His daughter (who he calls Old Blue) is here in the front row. Funk’s family thinks this announcement is way overdue but Bischoff tells someone to go to the ring. He’s told his aunt Eleanor and uncle Dutch (Madden: “DUTCH???” Tony: “Yes, Dutch Funk.”) to watch tonight but here are Shane Douglas and some New Blood lackeys to interrupt. The announcement: Terry is a grandfather! Oh and he’s retiring June 1.

Make that June 1, 2001 because his contract was extended for another year. This brings the New Blood members to the ring and Terry is quickly beaten down. Two piledrivers onto the chair knocks him out and Funk’s daughter tries to come in, only to get shoved down. Shane covers him and Cat counts the pin (with Funk not even keeping his shoulder down after that kind of a beating). Douglas takes the title and knowing WCW, that counts as a title change.

The Misfits come out to help Ralphus and Norman was the Animals’ car. Gunns distracts Ralphus and Stash changes the buckets.

Clip of the Kanyon interview from Thunder.

Here’s Mike Awesome in a wheelchair and with a halo around his head and neck. He mocks Kanyon for being out of wrestling and says he wants Page to come out here for some reason. Instead he gets the Wall and it’s time for a tables vs. ambulance match. Tables vs. amb…..WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN??? It sounds like Russo was watching Frankenstein vs. the Wolfman one night and camp up with this match while he was falling asleep. Let’s get this over with.

The Wall vs. Mike Awesome

Wall kicks him in the face to start and scores with a powerslam. Not that it matters as Mike backdrops him through a table and wins it in less than 90 seconds. So it was a tables match. In Russo’s world, tables + ambulances = tables. Therefore, ambulances are in fact worthless.

Wall pops up and goes after Awesome but Shane Douglas runs out with a steel pipe. They fight into the back and Page pops out of an ambulance (because he was just in there) and everyone brawls.

We cut to the casket bring brought to the ring…..with Shane and Awesome in different clothes walking alongside it. This doesn’t even surprise me anymore.

Norman and Ralphus pour on whatever is in the new bucket. It looks like paint or paint remover.

It’s time for the Ric Flair funeral. We see a clip of Ric collapsing on Thunder and Russo goes on about how he told Ric to retire. The fans think he suck but Russo says he has the belt, which he returns to Jeff Jarrett for his third World Title in thirty six days. Russo pulls out Flair’s Rolex to throw in the casket and you know exactly what’s about to happen. Naturally Kevin Nash pops out of the casket because we haven’t seen him in a long time. He takes the title just in case you hadn’t forgotten those horrible days.

Post break Russo tells Nash that he has 45 minutes to give the title back or it’s a no holds barred match. The champ was in the background here and, again, this was all about Russo.

Here’s Scott Steiner with the Freaks dressed as University of Michigan cheerleaders. Steiner talks about the dark side of the moon rising and something that is bleeped out. As for the point tonight, Scott is now bringing his own circular cage called the Asylum and you can only get out by submitting.

Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner

Non-title because the US Title hasn’t meant anything in months. They start fighting as the cage is slowly lowered, making the gimmick even less important. Scott belly to bellies him down and puts on the Recliner but Scott falls for the Tank Abbott Goldberg entrance all over again. He lets go of the hold (after three minutes according to Madden) as Tank comes out with bolt cutters. Those don’t work so he beats up the guy that controls the cage and raises it up to help Rick beat Scott down. This brings out Nash (again) to help save Scott.

Pamela Paulshock, the new fake chest with a pretty blonde interviewer attached, asks Nash about what he just did. Nash wants a title shot tonight.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Liz is here with Palumbo along with the security. Page gets a quick two off a belly to belly, followed by a Batista Bomb for the same. Elizabeth slams Palumbo into a rollup for two before a double clothesline puts both guys down for an eight count. Cue Kimberly to hit Liz in the back with a ball bat so the referee leaves the ring, allowing Awesome to come in with the halo. Page looks at Awesome and stands there so Mike can hit him in the face. Palumbo racks Page for the win.

Luger comes out and takes a beating of his own. Palumbo hits him in the face with the exercise bar and Luger has to go out on a stretcher.

Kimberly blames Liz for what just happened to her. I’m having a lot of trouble feeling sorry for Liz when she hasn’t taken one of her 948 chances to escape.

Here are Terry Taylor and 12 year old Reid Flair, the latter of whom wants his brother David to come out. David and Daffney come out and Reid apologizes for whatever he’s done because the family needs David. Daffney hits Terry with the Statue of Liberty but Reid, an amateur wrestling champion, double legs David down. David pops back up and puts him in the Figure Four until security breaks it up.

Vampiro vs. Hulk Hogan

Remember when this was a thing a few months ago? Well this time Vampiro comes out with a blowtorch and a can of gasoline. Vampiro jumps him to start and knocks Hogan out to the floor. A superkick knocks Hogan up against the barricade but he comes right back with punches to the face.

Hogan chairs him in the back and beats up the table for a bit before it’s weightlifting belt time. Madden runs down WWF’s finishes as Hogan slams Vampiro down. Madden: “I’m orgasmic!” Hogan kicks him low and drops the leg but opts to punch instead of cover. This brings in Kidman to hit Hogan in the head with the blowtorch to give Vampiro the pin.

Rating: F. Weapons, run-ins, Mark Madden’s orgasms. Pick a reason why this was bad and go from there.

Sting saves Hogan from being set on fire (little reaction) and lays Vampiro out.

It was in fact paint remover, triggering another brawl between the Misfits and the Animals. Major Gunns has to reluctantly give Ralphus mouth to mouth. Naturally she winds up getting tongue, which Tony finds hilarious.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash

It’s not clear if Jarrett is defending or if the title is vacant coming in. Before the bell rings, cue Russo to knock out the referee and take over his job. That’s very manly of him. Jeff hammers away to start but walks into Snake Eyes. Tony casually throws in that this is falls count anywhere. Russo’s slow count is good for one and Jeff pops up for a chair to Nash’s head. Nash no sells it of course and follows Jeff to the floor.

Another Snake Eyes on the apron is good for one as Russo crotch chops Kevin instead. A belt shot barely puts Nash down and Russo maces him to break up the Jackknife. There’s a bad looking Stroke but cue Steiner to beat Jeff down. That earns Steiner mace as well, allowing security to handcuff him to the ropes.

Nash starts choking Russo as he covers Jeff but it’s only good for two. They head outside with Nash loading up a powerbomb on Russo, only to have the blood fall……next to them. Nash is nice enough to take a step to the side so it at least touches him, allowing Jarrett to guitar him down and get the pin for the title. Or maybe to keep it as it’s not really clear.

Rating: D-. The fact that WCW still doesn’t seem to know whether or not that’s a new champion or a title defense sums up the show quite well. As usual it was way too much at once and the whole thing came off as a big mess that was thrown together instead of anything that I might want to watch.

Bischoff comes out to say that’s just the beginning for Nash. The people can bite them. Jeff declares himself the Chosen One again to end the show. That’s a cry for attention if I’ve ever heard one.

Overall Rating: F. This show was such a disaster that I don’t even know where to start. There were way too many gimmick matches (many of which ranged from stupid to nonsensical), plot devices flying by in minutes instead of over a week, ridiculous editing errors such and WAY too much Russo. That continues to be the biggest problem: Russo is all over this show and everything is about him. There’s almost nothing good about this show and it’s the same problems over and over again. WCW is beyond one saving grace at this point and it’s creating more problems for itself every single week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ESPN Announces Weekly WWE Segment

http://www.wrestlezone.com/news/630053-espn-announces-weekly-wwe-recap-segment-details-highlights-of-seth-rollins-appearance-tonight

I can’t wait to hear all the purists whine about how this isn’t real but having to leave to go see who Matthew Berry says they should bench for their fantasy team this week.

Cool news for wrestling fans as this is going to be about five minutes a week and could lead to more coverage down the line.

Monday Night Raw – October 12, 2015: Lumberjacks and Marriage Proposals

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 12, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

We’re getting closer to Hell in a Cell and most of the card is now set. The big story though is New Day, who was showed a completely different style last week as they left John Cena, Dolph Ziggler and the Dudleyz laying. This is a different kind of crowd to perform in front of though and they could certainly change a lot of what we’ve got coming. Let’s get to it.

Kane is on the phone with HHH and Stephanie, who aren’t going to be here until late. They tell him to keep things with Rollins under control until they arrive. Kane promises he will and then makes himself vs. Rollins in a lumberjack match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Dean Ambrose with something to say. He’s here to welcome us to the show but now he’s looking for a fight. Instead he gets Randy Orton, who says he’s been fighting the Wyatts alongside him and they’re going to continue doing that at Hell in a Cell against Luke Harper and Braun Strowman. Ambrose says he’s been fighting the Wyatts for years so if Orton follows his lead, everything will be fine.

Naturally they get in a mini argument over who the leader is but here’s New Day to interrupt. They talk about slaying everyone last week and brag about leaving everyone laying with their bare hands. This included sending the Dudleyz to a retirement home and beating the WWE’s prized possession down, even though they could see him. Evolution or Legacy couldn’t do that and…..dang Orton has been in a lot of groups. It’s out with the old and in with the New Day so Orton and Ambrose need to pull a Derrick Rose and sit on the bench. That brings Kane to the screen to make the tag match for right now.

New Day vs. Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose

Non-title. Dean cleans house on Kofi to start and works on the arm. A shoulder sends Kofi to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Dean clotheslining Big E. for two and it’s off to Orton for a dropkick. The good guys take turns stomping on Big E., complete with the Garvin stomp.

Dean shows Orton how to stomp and they get in an argument, allowing E. to crawl over and tag as we take another break. Back with New Day in control and stomping Orton down, including the running dropkick from Orton. Big E. slaps on a bearhug until Randy elbows his way out, setting up the tag to Dean.

All of the New Day members are sent to the floor for a suicide dive but E. comes back with a belly to belly inside. Another tag brings in Orton, who ducks Trouble in Paradise and plants Kofi with the hanging DDT. The camera went wide like someone was going to run in but nothing happened. The RKO is loaded up but Kofi shoves Randy into Dean, setting up a rollup for the pin at 17:53.

Rating: C+. Long match here but more of a plot device than anything else. Above all here though: New Day didn’t lose. That’s a really nice surprise out of them as they didn’t go with the lame idea of having the Tag Team Champions used to build up someone for a one off tag match and a possible feud among themselves. They’re getting somewhere, just very slowly.

Video on Undertaker vs. Brock with the final chapter inside the Cell.

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

We see a video of the Iron Man match from last week and the fans want Sasha, who is at ringside. Naomi’s corner wiggle (she’s just having fun!) and a kick to the chest get two on Nikki but she takes Nikki down and stands on her hair. We hit the hammerlock on Naomi as Nikki tries to have some psychology. That preposterous idea offends Naomi so much that she rapid fires kicks to the ribs and sends Nikki out to the floor for a big dive. Brie gets on the mic and starts a WE WANT SASHA chant to get in Naomi’s head. Sasha pulls Brie off the table but the distraction lets Nikki hit the forearm and Rack Attack for the pin at 4:54.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but they’re getting dangerously close to making Sasha the star of the division while almost never wrestling a singles match. At this point they almost have to add her to the title match at the pay per view and that’s where it seems they’re going. I’d put the title on her now and be done with it, but Nikki getting it back is always a chance. Maybe Charlotte can chase her and not look like a huge loser for a change but that might be giving WWE too much credit.

Paige has been named the Most Unconventional Diva in a Payday (candy bar) product placement bit.

Here’s John Cena for the US Open Challenge but first he wants to talk about this building. This is where he had his first WWE match back in 2002 but tonight Chicago is the place to be and he’s the man to beat so who wants some this week?

US Title: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler

Cena is defending and starts with an armdrag (that’s a new one) into an armbar. Ziggler goes to the floor and the fans go nuts with a YES chant and look at something in the crowd. Cena grabs the mic and says that we just had a marriage proposal and SHE SAID YES. Well that’s not something you see every week. Fans: “She! Said YES!” Cena even goes to applaud them again and it’s off to an armbar from Ziggler as we take a break.

Back with Ziggler hitting his elbow drops but Cena fires off the shoulders. Ziggler breaks up the Shuffle with a dropkick as we hear about John Cena facing Kurt Angle in his debut. A modified ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and the STF goes on. Ziggler somehow powers out and puts on a sleeper while they’re still on the mat. That goes as far as a sleeper is going to and Cena knocks Ziggler to the floor.

The middle rope AA is broken up and Ziggler catches him with a running middle rope DDT (cool move) for a very close two. Cena’s big running clothesline takes Ziggler down and he catches a charging Dolph in the AA but Ziggler counters into the Fameasser in midair for two. Now the STF goes on in the middle of the ring but Ziggler makes the rope again.

The cross body off the top sets up the roll into the AA but Ziggler rakes the eyes and superkicks Cena down for two. They slug it out and Ziggler headbutts him into the Zig Zag for a very close two. I thought that might have been it. Back up and the AA ends Ziggler at 17:40. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: B+. This was the standard formula for the US Open Challenge and it still works. I’m really curious where they’re going to go with Cena as he’s due off right after the pay per view and he doesn’t really have anything to do aside from the New Day fallout (is he going to mention that tonight?) and I’m not sure how they get the title off of him before then.

HHH calls Kane from the plane and asks how things are going. Kane doesn’t mention the main event.

Dudley Boyz vs. Ascension

Ascension jumps them to start and Viktor hits a nice jumping knee to D-Von’s face. D-Von avoids an elbow and makes the tag off to Bubba, who talks trash as he beats Viktor up. The Doomsday Device (you knew they were busting that one out in Chicago) sets up the 3D to pin Viktor at 2:41.

Neville/Cesaro vs. Sheamus/King Barrett

This could be fun. Neville speeds things up on Barrett to start before it’s off to Cesaro, who gives Neville a boost for a (partially botched) standing Phoenix splash of all things. Sheamus comes in for a slugout but the battering ram is countered by another uppercut. Cesaro throws Neville down onto Sheamus and Barrett, only to have Sheamus’ kickout send Neville into the Bull Hammer to give Sheamus the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D+. Neville is officially in free fall. He’s still there and in some stories, but he’s falling through the cracks in a hurry. I don’t remember the last time he won a big match and the Stardust story just kind of ended with no real blowoff. Hopefully he bounces back and it’s certainly not too late for him, but this isn’t a good sign.

Video on Braun Strowman.

Here’s Roman Reigns for his match against Braun Strowman but he has something to say first. He recaps the entire Bray Wyatt feud while stopping to ask if the fans can’t hear him when they keep chanting WHAT. The fans aren’t interested in the recap of the ANYONE BUT YOU but Reigns says this isn’t boring. Imagine if someone tried to keep you from making a future for your family because Bray Wyatt is trying to hold Reigns back from building a life for his daughter.

That’s the biggest mistake Bray could make and he’ll get what’s coming to him at Hell in a Cell. This was MUCH better than Reigns’ normal stuff and he didn’t stumble once. Cue the Wyatts with Bray asking who Roman is trying to convince. Bray will take the blame for Roman’s lot in life but it all ends in the Cell. Roman says when that door is locked, Bray is going to wish that he’s inside there with anyone but him. Good line there.

Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman

Roman is quickly sent out to the floor so he tries to hit and move a bit more. Strowman easily powers him into the corner and slams Reigns down as Roman can’t do anything with him here. Off to a neck crank for a bit until Reigns fights up and starts with the clotheslines. Bray is getting worried but Reigns can’t Samoan drop Strowman.

Reigns punches away from the floor and the apron boot has Strowman staggered. The second attempt is blocked with a clothesline though and Braun comes out to play. Reigns sends him into the announcers’ table several times but Roman has to Superman Punch Harper. There’s another one to knock Strowman over the table and Braun is counted out at 7:58.

Rating: D+. Pretty ugly brawl here and I’m really not wild on having Strowman lose in any way this early. The fact that he wasn’t pinned helped but as usual WWE has no idea how to book someone beyond from pay per view to pay per view. Strowman is looking more and more like a plot device to get us to Reigns vs. Wyatt again and that’s a shame.

The Wyatts surround Roman but he gets to the floor just in time. Bray kneels in front of Roman and says follow the buzzards so Reigns pops him in the jaw.

The Authority calls again and they’re on the way to the arena. This time Kane tells him the main event but HHH can’t hear him due to bad reception. HHH: “I know Rollins but who is he facing?” Kane: “It’s me.” HHH: “I know it’s you Kane but who is he facing?” Full House had better plot devices than this.

Ryback vs. Rusev

No entrances for either guy. We recap the Summer story from last week and Cole casually mentions that TMZ reported Lana and Rusev got engaged over the weekend. So yeah, screw storylines because a gossip site told the truth about your story. You could always NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT but that would be ignoring the internet and that might mean a downgrade in your social media score or whatever.

JBL asks why Summer is here. Cole: “Maybe she’s not into social media?” The Meathook looks to set up the Shell Shock but Rusev slips out. Rusev’s charge hits the post though and now the Shell Shock is good for the pin at 3:07. So much for Rusev meaning much after Wrestlemania.

Rating: D+. What do I even say here? The entire story has been thrown out because we need to report on TMZ. It’s another example of just taking the easy way out of a storyline instead of actually writing your way out of it. I can’t stand that sort of laziness but it’s what we’re stuck with in modern wrestling.

Post match Summer shows us photos from TMZ and rips into Rusev for leading her on. She slaps him in the face and walks off as Rusev shouts a lot. My loose Russian translation thinks he said “I’ll take em both, I’m hardcore.”

Kalisto vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. Owens shrugs off the early kicks and punches Kalisto in the side of the head. Some more kicks have little effect and Owens sends him to the floor. Owens teases a dive of his own but opts for a running slide to the floor instead. We get the Lucha Dragons pose from Owens but Kalisto comes back with a rolling kick to the head and the hurricanrana faceplant for two. A tornado DDT gets the same but Kalisto’s hurricanrana is countered into the Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 3:45.

Rating: C-. I still really like the booking here as Owens gets to have this meaningless mini feud with the Dragons but still gets to build towards his rematch with Ryback without the usual tropes WWE is so obsessed with. Good stuff here and again Kalisto is an incredibly fun act who could be something special going forward.

Brie Bella/Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch/Charlotte

Paige is on commentary and isn’t happy that Natalya is now part of Team NBC. Paige: “They’re just going through a phase.” Becky works on Brie’s arm to start before it’s off to Charlotte who helps with stereo legdrops onto Brie’s arms. The spear gets two but Natalya goes to argue with Team Bella, causing Paige to get up and shove her a few times. Back inside and Charlotte walks into a middle rope dropkick from Brie for the pin at 3:07.

Rating: D. BRIE BELLA??? Now they have Charlotte losing to BRIE BELLA??? Charlotte’s reign is reaching Zack Ryder territory now as they’re having her lose everything and then expect her to still be over while the Bellas are the dominant looking ones. Nikki is one thing but BRIE BELLA???

The Authority finally finds out who Rollins is facing because Kane couldn’t just text them the match earlier tonight. HHH says there’s no way that match can happen. Anyone can replace Kane but he can’t face Rollins. I smell a loophole coming. Fans: “CM PUNK!”

Rollins appeals to Big Show and says he sees him as family. Show laughs it off and leaves with Kane taking his place. He’s going to find a suitable replacement though.

Another Lesnar vs. Undertaker video.

Seth Rollins vs. ???

Non-title lumberjack match and the opponent is…….of course it’s Demon Kane. Did you really expect anything else? They’ve even managed to calm down the Chicago crowd and Kane keeps throwing Rollins out to the lumberjacks who are more than willing to throw him back in. Kane gets low bridged to the floor but the lumberjacks just stand back. Seth’s suicide dive is caught by the throat so Seth runs away, only to get caught by Cesaro.

Back in and a clothesline knocks Kane over the top but he lands on his feet. Kane starts beating up New Day but stops to stare at Big Show. Gah anything but that. Kane slaps him in the face so Show knocks Kane out but he’s still able to kick out at two. The springboard knee to the face gets the same as the announcers keep calling him Demon Kane.

A frog splash gets two more for the champ but Kane pulls him off the top with a superplex. Both guys are down and New Day pulls Kane to the floor, triggering a big brawl between all of the lumberjacks. Back in and the lumberjacks come in but Kane sits up to stop Big E.’s Warrior splash. Everything breaks down again and the Pedigree is countered, followed by a tombstone to pin Rollins at 8:21.

Rating: D. BUT HOW CAN ROLLINS POSSIBLY KEEP THE TITLE NOW??? I knew Kane was going to win the second his music hit because that’s how you build to a match on pay per view: by having the same match on free TV just a few weeks beforehand. Kane doing his same schtick that he was doing twelve years ago doesn’t do much for me, especially since he has no chance at winning in the title match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show had a lot more energy than usual and it helped things out quite a bit. They’ve got most of the show set for the pay per view and I’m actually intrigued by the card. Naturally there are some holes in this show such as the “let’s ignore stories because TMZ said so” and the stupid swap for the main event, but did anyone not see that coming? I had a good time with this one though and it flew by, which is always a good feeling on Raw. I’m not sure that’s a good thing though as it means you can’t wait for it to be over and it’s not as bad as it could have been. Take that for what you will.

Results

New Day b. Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose – Rollup to Orton

Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack

John Cena b. Dolph Ziggler – Zig Zag

Dudley Boyz b. Ascension – 3D to Ascension

Sheamus/King Barrett b. Neville/Cesaro – Sheamus pinned Neville after a Bull Hammer

Roman Reigns b. Braun Strowman via countout

Kevin Owens b. Kalisto – Pop Up Powerbomb

Brie Bella/Alicia Fox b. Becky Lynch/Charlotte – Missile dropkick to Charlotte

Kane b. Seth Rollins – Tombstone

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor TV – October 7, 2015: The Michael Bay of Wrestling

Ring of Honor
Date: October 7, 2015
Location: MCU Park, Brooklyn, New York
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Prince Nana, Kevin Kelly, King Corino

This is a special change of pace as Ring of Honor held an event called Field of Honor at a baseball stadium in Brooklyn back in August. Therefore tonight, we’ll be taking a look at some of the bigger matches from the card before we finally get back to the updated storyline stuff that we’ve been waiting the better part of a month to actually see. Let’s get to it.

Time Splitters vs. Briscoe Brothers

Jay and Kushida get things going. Nana: “When was the last time we saw Jay and Mark team up?” Corino: “Yesterday.” It’s off to Mark before anything happens and Kushida gets stomped down into the corner. Kushida comes back and takes both Briscoes down with a headscissors and bulldog, only to have Mark punch him in the face. The Time Splitters speed things up and take over on Mark with rapid fire strikes as we take a break.

Back with Alex working on Mark’s arm but Mark sends Alex into a distracted Kushida who cranks on his partner’s arm by mistake. I’ve seen them do that spot before and it makes them look like stupid heels. They get their act together though and take turns on a wristlock as Corino lists off various Japanese wrestlers he worked with over the years. You know, because this is the New Japan show instead of Ring of Honor. A quick tag brings in Jay for a clothesline and it’s off to a front facelock.

Jay elbows Shelley in the face for two and we hit the chinlock. Shelley fights up and dropkicks both Briscoes down, allowing for tag to Kushida. Things speed up again until Jay breaks up a springboard. Shelley dives off the apron to knee Jay in the face, knocking him into the infield. Mark’s kung fu doesn’t get him very far as Kushida kicks him in the arm and puts on the Hoverboard Lock. Jay makes the save and all four are back in with Shelley holding his jaw.

The Splitters bust out some Motor City Machine Guns style offense, complete with a You Can’t See Me from Kushida. A moonsault/knee drop combo gets two on Mark but Jay comes back in for a Razor’s Edge/neckbreaker combo for two on Shelley. Two straight Jay Driller attempts are broken up until Mark suplexes Kushida down, setting up the Jay Driller on Alex for the pin at 14:30.

Rating: C+. This is a great example of how Ring of Honor gets on my nerves and makes me want to stop watching it. Most of the match was spent namedropping various Japanese wrestlers that these guys have worked with like it’s the most amazing accomplishment in the world to have worked a tour of Japan as a midcard tag act. It’s very pretentious and makes Japan sound like it’s a million miles ahead of any other wrestling on the planet.

The more Corino talks, the more he sounds like you’re a knuckle dragging moron if you don’t watch every Japanese show in history, which I hear enough of on the internet. It’s cool stuff, but stop pretending like it’s the only thing in the world. There’s other stuff out there, including Ring of Honor, which comes off like it’s nothing compared to the wonders of Japan.

Clips of Watanabe winning a gauntlet match for a TV Title shot next week. We see a good chunk of Watanabe vs. Cedric Alexander until Moose came out to interfere, allowing Watanabe to get the pin with an STO. Not enough of the match was shown to rate but I still don’t get Watanabe. I do however get the appeal of Veda Scott. Good lord.

Video on Adam Page vs. Jay Briscoe. Page must have something up his sleeve because he’s going to get killed.

Nigel McGuinness joins commentary.

Kazuchika Okada vs. Roderick Strong

Okada’s IWGP World Title isn’t on the line. They trade arm work to start until Okada grabs a freaky variation of the abdominal stretch (picture an STO but instead of driving him down, Okada grabs the arm and bends Strong around to stretch his ribs. That’s rather cool looking.), sending Strong to the ropes. A nice dropkick puts Okada down for two and we take a break. It’s Strong in control as we come back but Okada is quickly out of a chinlock. Instead it’s a kick to the face for two more as this has been almost all Strong so far.

We hit a one arm camel clutch until Okada grabs a rope. It’s cool to see Strong working on a body part to set up his finisher. I love basic psychology like that and it’s always going to work. They head outside and chop away until Strong drops him back first and then ribs first onto the barricade. Back in and we hit a chinlock with Okada’s arm trapped to stretch the ribs. Okada fights up with some running forearms and a DDT, followed by a nipup. What rib injury?

An enziguri out of the corner and a belly to back faceplant gets two for Roderick. Well if Okada won’t sell the ribs and back why not go for the face instead? Okada dropkicks him off the top and out to the floor as we take another break. Back again with nothing having changed and Strong dropping Okada onto the apron for two. A White Noise backbreaker gets the same for Okada but Strong hooks an Angle Slam.

Strong’s superplex gets two and there’s the Strong Hold (Boston crab) but Okada makes the rope. It’s not like he would sell it anyway so Strong was just wasting his time anyway. The Rainmaker is countered by three straight jumping knees to the face, a fireman’s carry gutbuster and the Sick Kick for two. Well of course it’s just two because Okada is Japanese and therefore unbeatable. Okada pops up, tombstones Strong twice and rolls some Germans for the pin at 17:24.

Rating: C-. This is Ring of Honor summed up in a single match. There’s no question that this was an exciting match, but the quality isn’t there. Strong wrestled a logical match (his finisher is a Boston crab and he worked the back) but Okada WOULDN’T SELL THE THING. I mean, put your hand on your ribs at least. It’s exciting and entertaining, but it gets really old trying to explain to ROH and New Japan fans that there’s a bit difference between exciting and quality.

Overall Rating: C. We’ll go with right in the middle for this one as neither match did much for me but neither was bad. I’m sick of these New Japan shows though as you can take or leave them without missing anything. I like the stories that ROH has but we’re stuck waiting for a month between the updates because of their taping schedule. In between though we get to worship at the altar of New Japan and hear the fans tell us that THIS IS AWESOME because so many of this company’s fans equate excitement with being good. It’s very Michael Bay-esque of them and that’s only a good thing on occasion.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/product/B015IN12I2

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

You Should Buy My E-Books

I’ve got quite the selection. Here they are with Amazon links for America. You should be able to find them on any given country’s Amazon page. These are on a Kindle format but if you don’t have a Kindle, there are free apps for just about every electronic device you could own. Here’s a link to every possible one.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771

Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw

Complete 1998 Monday Night Raw

Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw

History of In Your House

History of Starrcade

History of the Royal Rumble

History of Saturday Night’s Main Event

History of the WWE Championship

Complete 1995/1996 Monday Nitro

History of Summerslam

History of Clash of the Champions

History of Survivor Series

History of ECW Pay Per Views

Complete 1997 Monday Nitro

Only On Pay Per View: 1998

Complete 1998 Monday Nitro/Thunder Part 1

NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume I

You can find links to all of these at my author page on Amazon here:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

All are also available worldwide.

Blue Pants Done With NXT

http://411mania.com/wrestling/wwe-news-eva-marie-misses-nxt-shows-to-film-total-divas-blue-pants-leaving-nxt-and-more/

I can accept this. She’s great at popping the crowd but why should she take a spot that could go to others who are actually signed to the company?

Update: On Twitter, Leva said “don’t believe everything you read.” There might be more to this so maybe we get the Big Cass intro again.

Thunder – May 17, 2000: A Night Off

Thunder
Date: May 17, 2000
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Attendance: 3,066
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone

So Ric Flair is the new World Champion and now it’s all about trying to find out how Russo can screw up having one of the most popular stars and best wrestlers in the company on top. Granted I’m sure some of it will involve Russo beating Flair up to affirm his manliness for the week because he seems to forget it every other show. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips of Flair winning the title.

Opening sequence.

The New Blood arrives in a school bus and Shane Douglas, put in charge tonight by Bischoff, takes roll. Konnan isn’t cool with listening to Shane (he probably had enough of that in ECW) and the brawl is on. Cue the Millionaire’s Club and Misfits for a brawl (leave it to Russo to have mini stables fighting in the big stable war) and Hogan steals the bus keys from Douglas.

The announcers talk about Flair and Russo. To be fair we’re four minutes into the show so a Russo discussion was warranted.

Here’s are the Misfits and the Club (complete with the hottest act in the business in Terry Funk) to open things up. Hogan holds up the keys to the bus and tells Shane to tear up the format because they’re booking this show tonight. Cue the New Blood with Shane saying Russo and Bischoff left him in charge. It sounds like a five year old saying he’s in charge of day care while the boss is making lunch.

Hogan says he beat Kidman at Slamboree and wants a rematch at the Bash. If Hogan wins, he gets the title shot at Bash at the Beach in July. Kidman agrees to fight the mark (gah those insider terms were starting to go away) at the Bash before Hogan tells Horace they’re fighting tonight. Wait weren’t Kidman and Horace mad at each other on Monday? Jarrett says he wants Flair tonight so Ric comes to the stage and goes after all of the New Blood so it’s time for a big stable war.

The Filthy Animals aren’t pleased with Shane.

Misfits in Action vs. Filthy Animals

Eight man tag. We’re ready to go after Konnan massacres the English language yet again. Disco gets sent into the corner to start and the big men hit running splashes. This brings in Major Gunns as the match is already falling apart. It’s off to Hammer vs. Juvy with the guy you would expect to use a hurricanrana using a hurricanrana out of the corner. Hammer comes right back with right hands and a superplex for two before it’s Rey vs. Rection. I still feel bad having to type that name so often.

Some kicks set up the Bronco Buster but Rection lifts Rey up into a powerbomb position. Rey punches him in the head to make Rection go down (yeah yeah I know) and that’s exactly what he does…..right into a powerbomb. Well you can’t blame Rection for that one. Chavo comes in to clean house on Konnan but Shawn Stasiak sneaks out to low bridge him to the floor and that’s actually a DQ. I didn’t know those still existed but maybe it’s because Russo and Bischoff aren’t here. I could get used to this.

Rating: D+. There was some nice action in here but as usual they didn’t have time to do anything. Russo and Bischoff did love themselves some stable wars and if they can have a mini stable war inside the big stable war you know they’re going to be all for it. It’s still not very interesting after we’ve seen it 67 times, but that never stopped WCW before.

The Misfits get beaten down until Booker makes the save, leading to Major Gunns taking off her top and giving Chavo CPR. Tenay: “It must be the large lungs.”

Luger tells the Millionaires he has to go and take care of something.

Booker T. (yes T again. I’ll give Russo this: he knew enough to realize how stupid that idea was) says he’s got the Misfits’ back.

Hulk Hogan vs. Horace Hogan

Hulk blames Horace’s actions on the death of his father. I’m sure the gorgeous blonde had nothing to do with it. In the back we see Kidman trying to come out but Horace beats him up to stop it. Horace grabs Torrie’s hand and drags her to ringside where Hulk immediately attacks him.

The nephew is sent into various metal objects until he rakes Hulk’s eyes after Hulk sets up a table. They get inside and Hulk starts with the weightlifting belt to take over again. Torrie gets on the apron for a distraction and Horace gets in a cheap shot. Horace kisses Torrie, drawing out Kidman to beat him down. The distraction lets Hulk hit Horace in the back with a chair for the lame pin.

Rating: D-. That’s some strong nepotism. I like the idea of trying to push Horace as something new, but that might involve them actually letting him pin Hulk, or at least not get destroyed by him in four minutes. That being said, he got to kiss Torrie so it’s not a total loss. Nothing match of course, as anyone would have expected.

Post match Hulk goes after Torrie but kisses her instead, knocking Torrie down to the mat. Hulk leaves and Torrie can’t stop smiling. So now Hulk is the great lover. Does that make Kidman the original Bubba the Love Sponge?

Chuck Palumbo is lifting at the gym but here’s Lex Luger to kick out his spotter and attack Palumbo with a pipe. Palumbo gets thrown into a laundry bin and hit with a “45lb weight.” Yes it’s real because 45lb weights bounce along the floor when you throw them down. Luger pours a protein shake on Palumbo for good measure. So we have pipes and covering someone in liquid. This is totally different than the other phallic weapons that Russo usually has people use.

Norman and Ralphus are selling homemade F.U.N.B. shirts. Where did they get the money to make those if they had $1.20 between them on Monday?

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. The Cat

This is Funk giving Cat a shot due to what happened Monday. Funk attacks him on the ramp and gets two each off a DDT and neckbreaker. They fight into the back with Funk nailing him with a computer, only to be sent into a pile of water bottles. Some trash can shots have Cat in trouble so he comes back with a bag of popcorn.

They keep throwing each other into various things and there’s nothing going on in between. It heads outside with Funk breaking down Norman and Ralphus’ t-shirt table. He beats on them with a chair for good measure but Cat attacks him from behind. They fight onto a car and Cat throws Funk off, only to have to beat up Norman to cut off his sales pitch. Smiley hits Cat with a chair to give Funk the pin.

Rating: D. This was entertaining at times with the Norman stuff being worth more than the rest of the match. I think I’ve complained enough about Funk’s major push already and at least this was just a one on one match. Miller is fine for a comedy guy but he was never a real threat here.

Norman and Ralphus get arrested. It was a nice idea while it lasted.

Here’s Mike Awesome to brag about crippling Kanyon. He’s got DDP at the Bash but tonight it’s an open challenge. Scott Steiner comes out and promises to put Awesome in the ambulance, which just happens to be ready for them.

Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner kicks him low to start and does the belly to belly into the pushups. I guess the elbow is still in development. Awesome bails to the floor and throws in a chair but Steiner catches it, only to throw it at Mike and miss. It’s Awesome with a low blow this time, followed by a top rope clothesline for two. It says a lot that they have so many gimmick matches that they can’t remember if they’re having another one here or not. The Awesome Bomb is broken up and Steiner puts on the Recliner, only to have Goldberg’s music break it up.

It’s Tank of course but Rick Steiner sneaks in from behind to start a 3-1 on his brother. Cue the Goldberg truck in the arena and the distraction lets Scott throw Rick and Tank at the truck. This is too much for Awesome who gets in the ambulance and drives away, I guess giving Steiner the win. And yes I mean Scott. I shouldn’t have to clarify that someone not in the match can’t win it, but stranger things have happened around here lately.

Rating: D. Like I said, the fact that they seem confused over whether or not they’re having a gimmick match tells you most of what you need to know here. Mike losing again makes me roll my eyes but it’s been clear for a long time that this alleged youth movement is more smoke and mirrors to hide the fact that it’s all about the old guys.

Shane tries to fire up the New Blood but he’s no Russo or Bischoff. Take that however you want to.

Mike Tenay is in the hospital with Kanyon, who has little feeling from the waist down. He saw what was happening in the main event at Slamboree and had to get involved because Page has done so much for him. Kanyon certainly isn’t bothered that Page is out walking while he’s here in the hospital because he’ll survive this. He’s going to turn on Page and the announcers are going to be disgusted at such a horrible thing right?

Shane gets a phone call from Kronik who want him in a three way dance tonight. Douglas hangs up on them and tells the New Blood to watch his door. They tell him to fight his own battles and leave.

During the break, Kronik broke into Shane’s locker room and drag him to the ring for a fight.

Kronik vs. Shane Douglas

It seems that Kronik are the official champions after the win on Monday. Sure why not. Shane tries to fight back with a foreign object but Clark knocks it out of his hand and hits the pumphandle slam. Cue the Wall with a table to chokeslam Shane through a table for revenge from Monday. High Times completes the squash. Tony tries to call this a three way dance but give me a break.

Rating: D-. So tonight’s lesson is the New Blood comes apart as soon as the calm and soothing voices of Russo and Bischoff aren’t around. Yes they’re somehow putting themselves over all the wrestlers despite not even being in the building. Total squash here as it should have been and now the Wall seems to be defecting. I’m sure that means he gets buried soon.

Here’s the new champ with something to say but he has to wait for a FIFTEEN TIMES chant. As usual he says “last night” but at least he corrects himself and says Monday night. Flair tells Jarrett that he was lucky to win on Monday but he still has the belt. Jarrett comes from the old school and that earns Ric’s respect but now it’s time for the champ to worry about his home life.

That brings him to Russo, who was a skinny Italian kid growing up in the Bronx. Russo’s dad told him to be like Bruno Sammartino but Russo thought Bruno wasn’t slick enough. So Russo’s dad bought him cable and one day Russo saw WCW out of Atlanta, Georgia. The sight of Flair scared Russo’s mom (who speaks with a stereotypical Italian accent like Russo’s dad) and all that was left was Russo who had a checkbook but no muscles.

Russo wanted to be a limousine riding jet flying kiss stealing wheeling dealing son of a gun but no muscles, no girlfriends and now he doesn’t even have the World Title. The title represents the old generation and tradition. Flair got lucky but he’s got the belt and the title is all there is in this sport. Since Russo can’t take over the great ones, he’s taking over Ric’s son. Cue Jeff Jarrett and the fight is quickly on but Crowbar and David come in to help with the beating.

This means Horsemen music and Arn with a pipe for the save. Anderson says Russo woke up another old dog last week and he always wakes up grumpy. He was content to just work backstage and do what he could but the reality is he’s a wrestler. When Anderson comes home and sees his kid playing with matches, he stops caring about what people think and whips that kid with a belt so he doesn’t do it again. Anderson holds up the four fingers and says tonight it’s Anderson and Flair one more time.

Vampiro rambles about being the real freak and burns a Sting mask.

Here’s Sting with something to say. He’s been doing this for more than ten years but Vampiro has him about to blow a gasket. Vampiro comes out to say Sting has no backbone because he didn’t finish the job on Monday. Sting wants to be Vampiro and they need to fight again at the Great American Bash in an inferno match. Sting says no so Vampiro lights the ropes on fire.

Shane asks Jarrett for help.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Crowbar/David Flair

We cut to the back to see Anderson getting beaten down (apparently he broke his foot in between the segment and the match so he couldn’t go). Jarrett comes out to attack Flair and it’s Crowbar and David to make it 3-1. David puts on the Figure Four but here’s Nash, allowing Flair to small package Daffney for the pin. Another day, another ridiculous win where a no contest would have made sense.

Nash cleans house but Ric collapses on the ramp. From what I can find, including in Flair’s book, this was a legit inner ear issue and not scripted.

The New Blood gets on their bus but they don’t have the keys. The Millionaire’s Club appears and pushes the bus over onto its side. This brings on the Goldberg truck to charge at the bus as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t explain to you how much easier this show was to sit through without Russo showing up all over it. The amount of time he gets on TV every week is one of the major problems WCW has been having lately because it’s complete overkill. Bischoff is around a lot too but it’s nowhere near as annoying with him, probably due to his voice not being so horrible. This show was a nice break from those two as you don’t need them in every segment to make something work. It’s still not good or anything due to the horrible way of running a show, but this was a lot less of a chore to get through than your common Nitro.

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