Are you sure about what you saw last year?

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-the-opiate-of-the-internet-masses/41034/

So…..yeah I’ve missed these for a few weeks. I know I missed the week before this but it’s a stretch to do one of these for this show and going back another week would be even worse. Anyway, it’s eight days after Summerslam and Sting is back to go after Seth Rollins, despite having losing his only match in the company. Let’s get to it.

We opened with Sting and that still doesn’t feel right in WWE. Sting was out there to talk about Rollins, but this somehow turned into a love fest for HHH. His speech was about how losing to HHH (who hit him in the head with a sledgehammer) earned his respect and Rollins will never be half the man that HHH is. Sting is going to prove that Rollins hasn’t earned the respect that he’s claiming, which is Sting’s entire character in a nutshell.

In other words, this feud is now going to be about HHH, because it sets up the feud with HHH vs. Rollins, which has been coming for months now it seems. I like the idea, but it would be a bit nicer if these were shades of gray instead of just making it clear that this is where the feud is going. I’m still not sure if Sting wins the title or not, though they seem to be making it a bit too clear that Sheamus is cashing in. I know WWE likes to beat things over our heads because they think we’re idiots, but this is almost too obvious. Therefore, I’m thinking Rollins retains over Sting, which almost guarantees that Sting gets the belt.

Rollins wanted his statue so Stephanie made sure to praise HHH a bit (made sense here for a change) before telling him to go ask Sting. This would be another segment that really didn’t change anything but why bother with something like that?

Rusev and Ziggler had a long match that ended in a DQ because this is destined to end in a mixed tag. Well at least it was. Now the interesting part here was where this went for the rest of the night, as Summer would be seen sneaking into Ziggler locker room before then running off screaming as Ziggler came out mostly sans clothing.

This got us into a soap opera which has been going ever since and I hate to admit the fact that I’m kind of loving it. Above all else: they’ve given me a reason to care. There’s a story here that is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s hard not to get sucked in, even though I know it’s bad. It helps that Rusev is left playing the role of muscle while everyone else does the drama, which is a much better fit for him. Well done all around Well that and Lana’s new outfit. That’s kind of a big plus too.

The best thing about this story though is I’m not sure if Ziggler cheated on Lana or not. Granted it’s about as low stake as you can get, but there’s always something good about not knowing where a story is going. It could be either ending here, though hopefully it ends with Ziggler going full on heel again because Dolph being noble and loyal to Lana doesn’t fit him in the slightest.

One of the other big stories of the night was Team PCB having a Beat the Clock Challenge for the right to face Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions. Charlotte wound up winning in something not really surprising, but I lost almost all interest in the Divas division (yeah it’s not a revolution, no matter how many times they’ve hammered it into our head that it’s a revolution) after the last month wasting our time. The matches were nothing special because of how short the time was, but at least we’re FINALLY getting to the title hunt, even if it means we have to listen to Nikki talk about being some empowered woman or whatever.

Ryback beat Big Show in a short match thanks to Miz, which seems to be the blowoff for this feud. I can’t say I’m complaining as I really didn’t need to see these three fight any longer. Big Show still seems to want to go after Miz, but at least they can’t be fighting over a title anytime soon. The match was short and a way for Ryback to show off his power, which he’s done about a dozen times on Big Show, which is why the company thinks it’s so impressive.

Kevin Owens beat Cesaro in a really good Summerslam rematch where Owens knocked him ribs first into the announcers’ table to injure Cesaro’s ribs. This was a good win for Owens and wraps up their feud, unfortunately with Cesaro getting swept but fortunately with no rubber match that WWE loves to put on. Owens seems primed for a shot at the Intercontinental Title and that’s a great spot for him right now, whether he wins the title or not.

Braun Strowman squashed Dean Ambrose, which is the best thing that he could have done for his first official match. The guy is a monster and he can tear a path of destruction for a few months until someone finally knocks him off. Just don’t make it obvious that he’s going to eventually be knocked off and everything will be fine.

The Dudleyz beat New Day in a non-title match because they have to have a champion lose once every few weeks, just to keep them interesting you see. Also because they don’t have any other teams to beat down besides the ones with the titles. More on that next week.

The big segment to end the show had Rollins demanding his statue back but being told by the Authority that he has to defend both titles at Night of Champions. Stephanie talked a lot but I usually get lost when she talks because all I can hear are buzzwords and charities that I’ll never hear of again because Stephanie has moved on to something else for her cause of the month. She does quite a few charity bits no?

Overall, Raw was a really solid show this week with almost everything serving a purpose or at least being good. Night of Champions is looking like an awesome show instead of the filler show that it so often is. We’re still waiting on that statue to be destroyed but I’m sure it’s going down soon enough. Good week this time though as they’re actually hot right now.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWL Navidad Corporativa
Date: Dec 17, 2014 (Aired December 25, 2014)
Location: Pepin Cestero Coliseum, Bayamon, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Willie Urbina, Axel Cruz

The show is called Corporate Christmas. Why does this sound like Vince’s idea of a Christmas carol? Anyway this is a WWL (World Wrestling League) show from Puerto Rico (guess who requested it) and it can’t be worse than World Wrestling Council. Like, it’s not possible for it to be that bad. Let’s get to it.

As usual before a lucha libre show, I’d like to remind you that my Spanish is conversational at best so I might miss some major plot points given by commentary but I’ll do what I can. I do have a guide to explain some of the backstories so I’m not totally lost.

The announcers run down the card and preview the next show with stars from all over the Americas.

Mr. 450 is in the ring and ranting about someone named Carlitos ducking a rematch after beating him a few weeks back. The call out continues and here’s Carlitos, who says he’s ready to go. Wait is Mr. 450 a heel? A guy whose character is all about a high flying move is a heel? Really? The match is later in the night I guess.

Ad for next month’s big show.

Prince Xander vs. Erik Scorpion

Xander won a battle royal at the last big show (last eliminating Scorpion) and became all stuck up so this is the regular showdown. One of the fun parts of these shows is figuring out which guy is which. It’s not so easy a lot of the time. I’m pretty sure Scorpion is the one with the painted face and the one named Prince is in the nice tights and staring at the blonde at ringside.

They fight over a wristlock to start until Prince lifts the shirt up for a medium chop. The thing didn’t even echo but maybe I didn’t understand its accent. A quick rope walk into a springboard armdrag puts Scorpion down again as this has been one sided so far. Xander dropkicks him out to the floor and Scorpion climbs a structure ala Ultimate X. That goes nowhere as Prince pulls him down, only to eat a kick to the face.

A not great Asai moonsault takes Prince down with Erik landing in the front row. Scorpion looks for a weapon as the blonde tends to Xander’s wounds. There’s a chair in the corner now but Scorpion settles for two off a running corner dropkick instead. Xander gets the better of a chop off but misses a charge into the post. Scorpion’s suicide dive is caught in a good looking belly to belly and he busts out a flip dive of his own. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Scorpion but he comes back with a belly to belly superplex, followed by Sliced Bread #2 for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a good choice for an opener with some nice high flying, though I’m sure we’re going to have a lot of this style throughout the night. Xander was a good heel act, though a lot of that might be due to the blonde he had with him. Scorpion was fine for a high flier and the match was entertaining enough.

Americas Title: BJ vs. Laredo Kid

Laredo is defending with Joe Bravo as referee. The three of them had a triple threat for the inaugural title and Bravo got pinned, hence why he’s not in this one. On the way to the ring, a boss stops BJ and tells him that if his gang shows up, he’s fired. Bravo takes his sweet time starting the match. They flip around to start so Bravo rolls around as well for a laugh.

It’s a bunch of running the ropes to start until Kid bulldogs him down, only to get caught in an armbar. Kid flips out again and it’s time for a standoff. They chop it out and BJ takes off his shirt so the Kid can chop him even harder. BJ is sent to the floor but he slides back in and dropkicks Laredo off the apron in a fast spot. Back in and Bravo does the most overblown slow motion two count I’ve seen this side of an old Steve Austin match.

That’s fine with JB as he takes the Kid to the top for a German superplex but Joe somehow makes the count even slower. The distraction lets the Kid come off the top with a missile dropkick, setting up a slow motion dive to the floor. Bravo gets in some stomps on BJ as they’re not being very subtle with this story. Kid even gets annoyed at Bravo before walking the top rope for a corkscrew moonsault.

Bravo is too busy taking a call so at least the bias is universal. A bunch of regular referees come in to eject Bravo, making the match less interesting than it was going to be otherwise. After the melee is over, a monster who may be a member of the Corporation comes in to chokeslam BJ off the top. Laredo goes all the way to the top of the lighting structure, only to hit the monster by mistake. That plus an RKO give BJ two, meaning it’s time for Kid’s manager to yell at the referee. Ok then.

A top rope hurricanrana puts BJ down and the Kid dives off the structure for two more as this is going longer than it should. BJ’s frog splash gets two with the Kid’s manager pulling the referee to the floor. Using this distraction (as opposed to all the other distractions), someone I believe is part of BJ’s gang runs in and hits him with a chair, allowing Laredo to hit a springboard splash for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here with too much going on. Unless I missed something, BJ was the face here which continues the trend of this company not seeming clear on how faces/heels are supposed to be chosen. The action was good here but there was too much going on and too much time.

Post match the chair swinger is revealed to be…..Joe Bravo, who plants BJ with an implant DDT.

La Rabia, BJ’s street gang, is coming for the new year’s show.

Trios Titles: La Rabia vs. Team Corporate

This is for the inaugural titles and these teams (Dennis Rivera/Noel Rodriguez/Stefano vs. Victor Rodriguez/Manuel Rodriguez/Kaifas) are at war with the gang vs. corporate. The big issue for me: I have no idea who any of these people are. I’m pretty sure the Corporation is the heel team and from what I’ve found, Dennis is the brother of Savio Vega (who won’t just go away), who leads the Corporation. Dennis is leading his street gang in a revolution because that’s how wrestling stories work. La Rabia has their street vision camera because they’re tough like that.

All three members of La Rabia dive onto the Corporate guys, followed by (I think) Stefano armdragging (I think) Manuel. They trade forearms until it’s off to Dennis (I think…..you get the idea now) for an armbar of his own before Noel (how appropriate) comes in and gets kicked in the ribs. Kaifas gets in some cheap shots on the floor before coming in legally (6’9 giant, I believe the same one from the Laredo vs. BJ match. He looks like an unmasked Abyss) for his painful monster offense. The rest of La Rabia fails at a save attempt and some triple teaming gets two.

It’s back to Kaifas for a chinlock for a bit before Noel crotches Victor on top and brings him down for a superplex. Dennis and Manuel come in off the tags and Dennis cleans house. Everything breaks down and Kaifas is left alone with all three gang members. Kaifas chokeslams two of them down….and then falls as well as they pop up. Uhh….was that supposed to be a double Codebreaker? The third member adds a guillotine legdrop for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. That ending still has me confused but not as much as figuring out which guy on the teams were which. La Rabia winning was the right call here as they’re pretty clearly the faces (I think at least. I could have this whole thing totally backwards) and the crowd needed something to cheer for. Good enough match here and defeating the monster was the right call.

La Rabia celebrates in the crowd.

Legio, a Satanic team, says their name and a lot of stuff I doubt I could understand even if I spoke Spanish.

Legio vs. Sr. C./Sylar Andrews

I can’t picture this lasting long. Legio is Spectro/Kronya, a pair of masked men and a manager. We’ll say Spectro (another guess) starts with Syler (at least he was cool on Heroes. Well at least in the first season before they watered the idea down to nothing), who howls a lot but doesn’t have much effect on offense. Both Legio guys look huge so Spectro’s slam is really impressive.

C. comes in and gets kicked in the shoulder before it’s off to Kronya for a lifting powerbomb. It’s back to Spectro for a big leg and a hard running knee in the corner as this is slow paced but high impact. C. finally does something by sidestepping a charge into the post, allowing the tag to Syler. Some very generic offense has little effect so some big chokeslams destroy both guys. A Demolition Decapitator puts Syler away.

Rating: D+. I think I liked this better than most of the other matches on the show, even if it wasn’t good. This match showcased Legio as a pair of monsters (with a good look) who were squashing what looked to be some low level talent. I could figure out exactly what they were going for here and that’s a sign of an effective match.

Pay per view ad. I already know this one by heart after seeing it a half dozen times on this show.

James Storm/Abyss vs. Heavy Artillery

Finally someone I’ve heard of. Heavy Artillery is better known as Thunder and Lightning and are something like 26 time WWC Tag Team Champions. Oh and Storm and Abyss are here too as the Revolution. Thunder and Lightning’s WWL Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line here. The Revolution tries to attack from behind to start as the announcers talk about Beer Money. Storm’s clothesline sets up a splash from Abyss on Thunder and it’s already weapons time.

Abyss rips on Lightning’s mask with Janice, allowing Storm to hang him with the noose. Back in and Lightning’s comeback is stopped by a right hand to the bloody head, leaving Thunder to take the Backstabber from James. Lightning gets taken out on a stretcher but Storm gets in some more shots for fun. This has barely been a match so far and it’s a nice change of pace from everything else on the show. The announcers plug the company’s Facebook and Twitter as Thunder is busted open as well.

Storm kicks him in the head and it actually settles down to one in the ring and one on the apron. Thunder comes back with a boot in the corner and a middle rope clothesline to Abyss, followed by a superplex to Storm. Thankfully the Black Hole Slam stops a comeback but Lightning returns for the save. A Stunner and spear put Abyss down and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Back up and a 3D knocks Storm out but Abyss gets another Black Hole Slam on Thunder, giving us stereo two counts. Nice spot there but cue Legio for the double DQ.

Rating: C+. I liked this one because it was exactly as advertised. The four of them brawled and Thunder and Lightning got to go to a draw with a mainstream tag team. That made the final sequence a nice visual as you had both teams totally equal and then do the run-in, which I’m sure sets up Legio vs. Thunder and Lightning for the titles. Well done match to work around Abyss’ issues.

The beating continues for a bit.

Here’s company matchmaker Savio Vega with a ball bat and something to say. This is HIS HOUSE because everyone has houses in wrestling. He calls out an old guy in a white hat and coat and I can barely hear what they’re saying with the bad audio. I do like that they’re only sharing one microphone for a change. Apparently the other guy is the President of the company and as you might expect, they don’t see eye to eye on how the place is run.

Cue World Champion Shane the Glamour Boy (Shane Sewell from TNA, a big star in Puerto Rico) to get in Savio’s face. From what I can tell, Shane’s opponent Bobby Roode isn’t here so he has a replacement in the form of Gilbert, who jumped from WWC like a week ago. Jumping from promotion to promotion is WAY more common down here so while a big deal, it’s not all that uncommon.

WWL World Title: Gilbert vs. Shane the Glamour Boy

Gilbert beats Shane down with a chair and chokes away as the match is officially on. A running knee puts the champ on the floor and Gilbert sends him into the structure around the ring. Totally one sided so far. Back in and a German suplex puts Shane down for two and a chop makes him freeze. Another makes him start vibrating and the comeback is on. So Shane is the face here. Got it. Gilbert stops him cold with a clothesline (totally different than a chop) and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Gilbert goes up, only to dive into a raised boot. It’s good to know that the “I have no reason to dive like this other than I’m going to land on your boot” spot works in Spanish too. The champ gets two off a fisherman’s suplex but the referee gets bumped, allowing Gilbert to get in a belt shot for the pin and the title.

I’m not even going to bother rating it yet because Savio is out to celebrate, meaning the other boss is on his way out to restart the match. I’m right of course because some things in wrestling never change no matter where the show is taking place. Gilbert hammers away and Savio throws him a chair. A low blow stops a big shot and Shane cleans house with the chair, followed by the top rope elbow to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was fine with Shane fighting over the odds to retain the title. The false finish was fine at the time, but if weapon shots like the chair (which the referee saw) are legal, why bother with the ref bump? This was a bit more complicated than it needed to be and the story suffered as a result.

Post match Shane gets beaten up even more but Alberto El Patron pops up on screen to say he’s coming for the title at Guerra de Reyes (next PPV). Savio yells at Shane some more but the president comes in and says he’s adding Ricky Banderas (Mil Muertes) to the title match. Shane freaks out due to a long history with Banderas. Ricky shows up on screen to say he’s coming for the title as well.

Apolo vs. Mr. Big

This is fallout from Mr. Big turning on La Rabia. This is the same Apolo who was in TNA for a few years where he was actually pretty awesome. It’s a fast brawl to start with Apolo scoring with a spear and knocking Big to the floor. They trade chair shots and fight into the crowd with neither guy getting the better of it. At least I can see most of what’s going on here.

Now they go higher up into the stands with Big taking over, only to have them go off camera. They appear again for a chair duel until La Rabia runs in for a distraction, allowing Big to get in a namesake boot. Wait didn’t Big betray Rabia? What sense does that make? Apolo wins a chop off but Rabia throws powder in his eyes, allowing Big to chokeslam him for two with Apolo’s chick making the save.

The referee ejects La Rabia (it’s about time the referee did something on this show) and Apolo counters a chokeslam into a rollup for two. Big gets the same off a Samoan drop but Apolo hits a good looking superkick for two of his own…..which the referee counts as three anyway. Dang these referees really do kind of suck.

Rating: C-. Another brawl here because that’s what this show has mainly been focused on. The Rabia stuff was a bit confusing and the ending didn’t help things. Apolo looked good and Big was a good choice for a guy who could sell well and get beaten down in the end….whatever that ending was.

Big chairs Apolo after the match but Apolo’s chick comes in for the save. This brings out Mistress Glenda Lee to beat her down. I don’t know who she is either. Apolo gets back into the fight but security comes out and gets beaten up instead. Apolo’s chick is taken out on a stretcher.

Backstage, Apolo yells at the president. I’d assume a mixed tag is set up, or at least a rematch.

Mr. 450 vs. Carlitos

This is actually the main event, which isn’t what I saw coming. Feeling out process to start and they hit the mat, leading to a standoff. Some quick rollups get two each but both guys miss a different kind of kick. 450 gets dropkicked to the apron but comes back with a tornado DDT for no cover.

As we hit those Facebook and Twitter plugs again, it’s time for Carlitos to no sell the chops in the corner. Add that to the list of things that are really overused in this promotion. Another kick puts Carlitos down and we hit the chinlock. Carlitos fights up and grabs a Backstabber (WAY too common here as well), followed by ramming 450 into all of the buckles. Well all of the top ones at least. Those others must get lonely. Both guys go to the apron and fight over a suplex until 450 does Darren Young’s belly to back to take over again.

450 poses a bit too much though, allowing Carlitos to run back in and hurricanrana 450 outside. A big dive takes 450 down but Carlitos is stunned too, meaning it’s time to lay around a bit more. It’s 450 in control with a half crab but Carlitos escapes and rolls some suplexes. 450 reverses the last one and rolls some Germans but Carlitos goes to the middle rope and jumps down into a Canadian Destroyer for two. Back up and 450 does Seth Rollins spin up from the ropes but misses the enziguri.

Instead a piledriver gets two on Carlitos, meaning it’s time for frustration to set in. A Pele sets up 619 on 450 (there’s a Sesame Street episode in there somewhere. Carlitos’ top rope Rough Ryder gets two as they’re trading bombs here. There goes the referee (again) and here’s……somebody to lay out 450 but Carlitos doesn’t want it that way.

The guy lays out Carlitos as well, giving 450 a near fall. The people actually in the match slug it out and 450 grabs a brainbuster. A pair of 450’s from 450 connect for two and everyone is stunned. 450 goes back up top for what appears to be the lone purpose of getting caught in a C4 (top rope flipping downward spiral) for the pin.

Rating: B-. Best match of the show here as you could mostly tell the story they were going for with the good guy fighting to win over the bigger star in 450. Carlitos isn’t interesting or anything from the outside, though I’m sure he’s a bigger deal in Puerto Rico. Good main event though and I’m sure that interfering guy will be involved with one of these two in the future.

Carlitos puts 450 over and thanks the fans. They shake hands but 450 lays him out with a brainbuster. Referees get taken out as well so a guy in a blue mask comes out to calm 450 down. 450 beats him up too until Carlitos covers the masked guy up and 450 leaves.

The announcers preview the next show to end things.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine but there’s nothing on here that I’d go out of my way to see. To be fair though, that has a lot to do with only having a basic idea of the storylines going on and not being able to understand most of the promos all night long. The wrestling was passable and it’s a good sign that they have some big name outsiders coming in to help them out.

I liked this WAY better than the WWC shows I’ve seen, though this isn’t really my cup of…….whatever they drink in Puerto Rico other than tea, which I’m not big on either. Anyway, good enough show but I’d watch Lucha Underground or AAA if this is the style you’re looking for.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.

Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.

Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.

Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.

Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.

Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.

Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.

That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.

Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.

We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.

Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.

Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.

There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.

Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.

Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.

Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!

Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.

Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.

This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.

Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.

Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.

Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz

Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.

Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.

Cesaro vs. The Miz

This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.

Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?

Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.

John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins

A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.

Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.

Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.

Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.

This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.

Results

Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor

Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package

Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO

Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando

Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout

John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I don’t need to say one more word.

http://www.wwe.com/inside/new-day-guide-to-victory-dances-gifs

Paragon Pro Wrestling
Date: September 5, 2015
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel & Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Jeff Aikin, Todd Keneley

This is an indy company that has managed to get TV time by paying the station to air them. I have no idea of what to expect here and I’ve only heard of a handful of the roster so I’m basically going in blind. I can’t imagine this is going to be a full time thing but why not try it once? Let’s get to it.

The opening video makes this look decent for a low budget act.

The announcers run down the card, including a casket match.

Interviewer Pat Kelly brings out a guy named Hammerstone, a champion who looks a bit like a more muscular Shane Douglas from the early 90s, who is facing Wes Brisco later tonight. Hammerstone has seen Brisco having great matches week after week, but he wouldn’t be here without his famous name. One night thirty years from now, there will be a story of Hammerstone Jr. because he destroyed the legend of the Brisco family starting tonight.

Hammerstone vs. Wes Brisco

Non-title because Hammerstone is a Tag Team Champion. Hammerstone shoves him down a few times to start but Brisco comes back with a hiptoss and starts in on the arm. A running clothesline in the corner staggers Hammerstone (who I believe is the heel here) and Brisco puts on an armbar over the ropes. Hammerstone knocks him to the wooden floor (when do you ever see that?), followed by a fall away slam back inside. The wrestling here isn’t the most intense in the world.

We hit the reverse chinlock on Brisco for a bit before he fights up makes his comeback with every basic offensive move you can think of. Hammerstone is in trouble but here’s a guy named Chamberlain (partner I’m assuming) comes out to distract Brisco, allowing Hammerstone to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse than this and they kept it basic. I’m assuming this sets up Brisco saying he can get a partner and win the titles to give us a title match and there’s nothing wrong with booking that way. Brisco didn’t do much for me in TNA but he looked acceptable here. That’s a good way of describing this match: acceptable, which is far better than the usual drek you can see on an indy show.

American Title: Ethan HD vs. Darin Corbin

Corbin is defending and billed from the Dude Ranch. I’m not sure if this is the top title in the company but it’s certainly billed as something important. Corbin elbows him in the face to start and stops for a dance, only to eat an elbow to his own face. A standing shooting star gets two on Corbin’s overly ample gut. Ethan gets tied up in the ropes for a shot to the chest, allowing Corbin to tell the fans that he’s naturally beautiful.

We get a Jimmy Del Ray name drop as Corbin loads up the Ginger Snap (looked like a McGillicutter) but Ethan counters into a headscissors into a Russian legsweep. A standing moonsault gets two and my goodness the announcers are underselling this stuff. Corbin gives us a terrible looking ref bump, immediately followed by Ethan kicking Darin in the head for no count. Back up and Corbin grabs a rollup and the trunks to retain at 6:04.

Rating: D. Corbin is called a dude and called himself beautiful and was played up as a hot tempered Irish guy at the same time. With all that, I’m still not sure what he’s supposed to be. It wasn’t much of a match either with both guys just doing moves to each other. Ethan wasn’t bad but he feels like half a dozen wrestlers I can think of off the top of my head.

Post match Ethan snaps and beats up two referees before destroying a bunch of stuff at ringside. Two other wrestlers run in and take chair shots to the ribs.

Kevin Kross, the walking definition of your stereotypical wrestler with short hair, tattoos and a good physique, is all intense and chilling. So he’s their Randy Orton. His nickname is the Toll Man because he’s coming to collect. Seriously? That’s the best you can come up with? He’s a guy who sits in a booth all day and takes someone’s money?

Kevin Kross vs. Mikey O’Shea

Mikey is a good sized guy and dressed almost exactly like Bam Bam Bigelow. Kross goes after him in the corner to start and sends the big guy into the post. Some choking on the ropes has Mikey in more trouble and Kross counts along with the referee. Off to a front chancery on Mikey and a swinging neckbreaker gets two. O’Shea slams him out of the corner but has to elbow out of a Saito suplex. A spinebuster gets two on Kevin but Mikey decides for a sunset flip, only to have Kevin sit down on it and grab the ropes for the pin at 4:33.

Rating: D+. Decent power brawl here with Kross clearly being groomed as a star. I’m still not wild on THE TOLL MAN but at least he won like he should have. Mikey came off like a big power guy who is always going to slip up at the end. Nothing special to see here but Kross is a name I’ve heard of before and he has the intangibles that you need.

We recap Tyshaun Prince vs. Gangrel, which is due to some eliminations in a battle royal. Tonight is the blowoff in a Pine Box (casket) match. The feud looks to have been going on for a few weeks so this is a big deal. Prince has a very stereotypical guy named the Cuban Assassin as his manager and is scared of coffins.

Tyshaun Prince vs. Gangrel

Prince is a huge guy with height and muscle. The Assassin says this match isn’t happening and they’re leaving this horrible place. This brings out Matt Striker, who is the interim commissioner. Striker says this match is happening or there will be fines and suspensions. Gangrel comes out to the awesome Brood music (well at least a rap version with the music in the background) and you have to get a pin or submission before putting your opponent in the coffin.

They circle each other for a bit as Gangrel is clearly the face here. That’s not what I was expecting but it works well enough. Gangrel looks better than he did fifteen years ago. Prince slowly pounds him down and the Assassin guarantees that Gangrel is going in the box. Some right hands stagger Prince and they stop to stare at each other for a bit. Prince sends him into the apron and drives a knee into the ribs to stop a comeback. A bearhug on the floor stays on the back and Prince bends Gangrel’s back around the post. Nice and simple.

Gangrel can’t hit the Impaler on the floor and Prince chokeslams him (he’s big, therefore he chokeslams) onto the ramp. Keneley: “That’s got to be like getting hit by a hot bat.” Huh? Anyway Prince misses a middle rope splash and the Impaler (just a regular DDT)….is pretty much no sold. The Assassin’s interference backfires and another Impaler gives Gangrel the pin at 8:13. So what was the point of the coffin?

Rating: C. That’s on a sliding scale. The match did feel like a big deal but the ending felt flat as it should have just been a regular casket match. Prince is someone who looks good but isn’t much more than a big power guy but he could be something with some polishing. Not a bad match though and it felt like something big, at least for this size of a company.

Assassin is put in the casket instead of Prince, making this whole thing pointless.

Overall Rating: C-. This was fine. A bit boring but fine. They did a mostly decent job of letting me know why I should watch the matches and some of their guys have potential. It helps that they had some known names in there to give the fans someone to care about. I doubt I’ll be watching this again but this was better than a lot of indies I’ve seen over the years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B011T13PV4

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I don’t know much about lucha libre (TripleMania 2015 is coming) but here’s a site by someone who does:

http://impactoestelar.com/

Frequent commenter Killjoy has put together a site in Spanish, which is worth checking out if A, you speak Spanish and B, if you like lucha libre.  At least click on the link so he can get some ad revenue out of it.  I speak enough Spanish to know that it’s pretty good so go check it out.  I’ll have it listed in the Links section as well.

Spring Stampede 2000
Date: April 16, 2000
Location: United Center, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,556
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

It’s the night of a million tournaments because TOURNAMENTS ARE AWESOME. The company was rebooted six days ago so all titles are vacant and Russo and Bischoff are here with their latest spray painting stable with the word New in the name. The main event is Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page for the World Title because the one thing from the last few boring months that needs to stick around is Jarrett in the title scene. Let’s get to it.

A quick note: this show runs two hours and forty minutes with fourteen matches. Wrestlemania V had the same number of matches in about an hour more. You really shouldn’t be able to do that.

The opening video focuses on Bischoff/Russo vs. Flair/Hogan respectfully.

Bischoff has been told that Hogan is out of the hospital and coming here. Kidman isn’t worried because the Hummer can finish what they started. You mean Hogan can’t even sell BEING CRUSHED BY A CAR for a week?

Opening video showing clips of Russo and Bischoff. Good to know what matters here.

Tony says we’re starting a new era tonight. Didn’t we just do that Monday? And we don’t even get a night off from Madden after Tank Abbott beat him up? He looks fine too without even a neck brace. Bobby Heenan would be ashamed if he actually watched this show.

The announcers run down the card, which is a mystery to you if you didn’t watch Thunder. Also, the referees have been told to relax the disqualification rules. FROM WHAT??? The referees are already allowing low blows and interference. What are they allowing now? Wait don’t answer that. I don’t think I can sit through this show if I remember what Russo has coming.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals; Mamalukes vs. Team Package

Disco is out with the Mamalukes because their split has been erased. Just having the match isn’t enough though so let’s go backstage to Team Package. Flair is in street clothes because this is going to be a street fight. Makes sense I guess. The announcers talk about Hogan being in the hospital. Madden: “Well a hummer can wear you out.” Wait we’re still not ready to go because ten minutes of talking before the first match isn’t enough. Russo comes out to say two veterans vs. two rookies isn’t fair, so the Harris Twins are added to make it 4-2.

It’s a big brawl to start and Flair is knocked down just a few seconds in. The regular teams pair off to beat up a veteran each but the old guys fight back and Flair gets Johnny in the Figure Four. That goes nowhere though as Flair lets go, only so Vito can kick him in the face to take over again. The Twins boot Flair in the face for two before Don pummels him in the corner. Tony doesn’t know what happens if the four men win, though to be fair I doubt Russo does either. Flair gets slammed off the top but avoids an elbow.

The goons keep the referee from seeing a tag as this is getting dangerously close to being a wrestling match. The beating continues and here are two guys to take Disco away. That would be your angle that has nothing to do with the match and has a 50/50 chance of never being brought up again. Luger gets the tag and everything breaks down but Johnny comes off the top with a spinning clothesline for two. Not that it matters as Luger Racks him for the win a few seconds later.

Rating: D. This was a Nitro match with too much added to it. As usual, Russo is convinced that no one is capable of having a match without something going on as a bonus. It’s also not a good sign that we’re seventeen minutes into this show and they’ve already changed the card from what they announced on Thursday.

Mike Awesome has been added to the US Title tournament and can’t wait to beat the nine lives out of The Cat. Bam Bam Bigelow comes in to call Awesome a jabroni, earning himself a beatdown.

We recap Mancow (Chicago radio DJ) vs. Jimmy Hart. I’m not going to dignify this with a recap. Picture any low level celebrity vs. a manager story you’ve ever seen. That would be a small pool to pick from because this is a stupid idea.

Mancow vs. Jimmy Hart

Hart comes out in a Howard Stern shirt with Emory Hale as an enforcer. Mancow gets a good reaction and comes out with some nice looking women and a bunch of his radio show personalities. We hear a bit from Mancow about how he’s doing this for revenge and for Chicago. It’s a catfight to start but a Hale distraction lets Hart get in a low blow. Madden: “This is utter nonsense.” Jimmy goes up but Mancow pulls the referee in the way, allowing Hale to come in and gorilla press Mancow onto his entourage. There’s no referee though so Mancow hits Hart with a chair for the pin.

Counting the recap, this got seven minutes. The whole show can’t even get to two hours and forty five minutes and one match breaks ten minutes, but they had seven minutes to dedicate to a Howard Stern knockoff who was there for the live crowd. Welcome to the new WCW indeed.

Post match Kidman comes out and punches Hart again.

Russo yells at the Harris Twins and the Mamalukes before swinging a ball bat either because he’s manly or because he has deep rooted issues with his masculinity and has a fixation on phallic objects.

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: The Wall vs. Scott Steiner

Scott comes out to Steinerized as the announcers speculate about Russo and Bischoff’s master plan. Of course there’s a master plan. There’s always a master plan. Steiner pounds Wall down into the corner but Wall does the same thing back to him. A low blow drops Steiner, but remember these matches have relaxed rules.

It’s time to start choking with Wall throwing Steiner around. They head outside and Wall sends him into the barricade (Hudson: “He almost threw him into Lake Michigan!” No Scott, he didn’t.) before getting a table. Steiner pokes him in the eye so Wall chokeslams the referee through the table instead, drawing a DQ from a second referee.

Rating: D. I have a feeling I’m going to be making a lot of the same complaints with this show. I’ll give them a point on this one: they kept Wall looking strong. He’s a big power lunkhead but he’s someone new and a potential monster. Steiner is still getting back from injury so this kind of a brawl probably suited him best.

The Cat babbles about James Brown and rednecks until Bam Bam Bigelow beats him down.

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: The Cat vs. Mike Awesome

If there is any justice, the Cat will be squashed like a bug. Not like a cat of course because who would want to squash a cat? Well apparently Bigelow would as he attacked Cat in the back (off camera) and has taken Cat’s place. Fans: “ECW!” Awesome clotheslines Bigelow out to the floor and takes him down with a huge dive. People his size should not be able to do that.

Bigelow is knocked into the crowd so Mike dives over the barricade to take him down again. A good looking top rope clothesline gets two for Awesome as this is a clinic so far. Bigelow reverses a belly to back into a cross body for two. My goodness there are a lot empty seats across from the hard camera. The top rope headbutt looks to set up Greetings From Asbury Park but the Cat is back. Wait can you be back if you were never here in the first place? Bigelow gets superkicked to the floor and it’s dance time! Awesome takes Cat’s head off with a clothesline and the Awesome Splash is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. I should have known better than to get my hopes up here. This was starting to get good so they had to send the Cat out there to turn it into a comedy thing. There’s a place for those kind of antics, but it’s not in the middle of what was turning into a good power match and our introduction to Mike Awesome, who looks like a star.

In a sign of the WCW way of thinking, instead of putting over Awesome as a monster, they talk about Cat dancing. The important stuff you know.

Russo tells Bischoff to chill out. Bischoff wants Kidman to do something instead of kissing Torrie.

Buff Bagwell/Shane Douglas are ready for Harlem Heat and Shane whines about Flair of course.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Harlem Heat vs. Shane Douglas/Buff Bagwell

Tony says Awesome was living up to his namesake in the last match. Name, namesake, whatever. I’m surprised he got that close. Say it with me: It’s a brawl to start. Stevie gets double teamed to start with the New Blood working on his arm. The swinging neckbreaker is enough for Buff’s wrestling quota so a quick double team puts him down. T. eats a back elbow in the corner though and a quick Vader Bomb gets two for Buff. The tag brings in Shane but it’s still 2-1. Everything breaks down and a quick Pittsburgh Plunge (which Shane let go, basically making it a suplex) gives Shane the pin on Stevie.

Harlem Heat yells at each other post match.

Booker T. says he’s New Blood but he doesn’t see eye to eye with Bischoff and Russo.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Booker T. vs. Sting

They seem more respectful here and Sting politely shoves him into the corner, followed by a hiptoss to put Booker down. Sting starts speeding things up and runs Booker down with some clotheslines. They head outside with Booker being sent hard into the barricade. Booker comes right back by dropping Sting face first onto the announcers’ table, which the announcers make sure to chalk up to the relaxed rules.

A chinlock keeps Sting in trouble and a fan will not stop with screaming for as long as he can. Booker’s knee to the ribs sets up the ax kick for two. Sting comes back with a DDT for two of his own as the announcers are dubbing this a classic about six minutes in. The Stinger Splash is broken with a boot to the ribs but his suplex is countered into the Scorpion Death Drop to send Sting to the semi-finals.

Rating: C+. If this is WCW’s definition of a masterpiece and a classic, they’re in big trouble. It’s a good match but there’s only so much you can do in less than seven minutes. Maybe they could have done more of this if not for Mancow and having everything else tonight, since having any of the preliminaries on Nitro or Thunder would have been heresy.

Booker calls Sting back inside for a fist bump.

Kidman is ready for Hogan if he comes back tonight.

US Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Vampiro vs. Kidman

The winner gets Sting, who Tony says “gave every ounce of his soul in that last match.” IT WAS A SIX AND A HALF MINUTE MATCH! And about a minute of that was a chinlock! Hopefully this one gets some more time. Vampiro starts fast with a clothesline and release suplex, followed by a top rope clothesline for two. Kidman’s comeback is countered by a sweet running release powerbomb. Add Vampiro to the list of those who can powerbomb Kidman.

The second powerbomb is countered into the faceplant. Madden: “We could have been seeing matches like this one years ago.” This is their fourth televised match this year alone, not counting a three way they had with the Wall a few weeks back. Add that to the list of stupid things said on this show. Kidman gets two off a side slam but Vampiro grabs a Rock Bottom (called a chokeslam, which to be fair is pretty much the same thing) to come back. We go to an overhead camera for no apparent reason and Vampiro grabs an armbar.

That’s enough back and forth action so let’s show Hogan arriving in a 1968 Dodge Charger. Kidman is terrified. I would be too if I could see images of Hogan before he’s actually in the arena. Hogan takes him to the floor and beats Kidman up, sends him into the post and throws the steps at him. A choke throw sends Kidman bouncing off the table and then a regular slam puts him through it. Back in and Vampiro gets the pin. Hogan beat him up for two minutes straight and that’s still covered under relaxed rules???

Rating: D+. This was a moment that brought me back to the days after Starrcade 1999 when Russo turned Nitro into a drama with wrestling involved. It started off as a match but once you have a two minute beatdown in plain sight of the referee, it stops being a match and becomes an angle.

Wrestling is supposed to be about angles setting up matches. With Russo, it was angles to set up more angles. This whole thing, which still hasn’t been explained in detail on TV, has only been going on six days and has seen two beatdowns and attempted murder. Where do you go from here? A bad match? In theory yeah but how big of a letdown is that going to feel like after all of this stuff?

There’s nothing wrong with mixing things up a bit, but this is backwards and leading up to a big letdown because they’re already done all their big stuff. In other words, Russo is a horrible booker who has screwed up what could have been a big story because he can’t wait to build up a story and has to do everything at once.

Oh and just to show how stupid WCW commentators were, direct quote from Tony: “You can’t disqualify him. He didn’t come in to help Vampiro.” HE BEAT KIDMAN UP FOR TWO MINUTES STRAIGHT AND SLAMMED HIM THROUGH A TABLE!!! That’s one of those lines that is so dumb there’s nothing to make fun of. The line itself is the joke.

Hogan says he’s coming for Bischoff.

Russo leaves Bischoff alone, promising to deal with Hogan.

Hogan storms through the back and……walks past the door with VINCE RUSSO AND ERIC BISCHOFF’S NAMES ON IT to open the door next to it. Add that to the list of things that the genius writers SHOULD HAVE THAT OF AND THROWN IN THE TRASH SO A MANIAC CAN’T COME IN AND KILL THEM. As a bonus, add it to the list of dumb things Hogan has done over the years. Hogan gets his hands around Bischoff’s neck so here are the cops with guns drawn for the save. You know, I’m kind of surprised Russo never had anyone get shot on one of his shows. If nothing else he could have made a “now THAT was a shoot” joke later on.

We cut to the arena and come back with Hogan being arrested by promising to be at Nitro. So yeah, this was all a way to set up a TV story. As this is going on, Terry Taylor tells Terry Funk that Norman Smiley is waiting for him in catering to start the Hardcore Title match.

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. Terry Funk

Terry finds him in the bathroom because where else would you find him. They fight out of the bathroom and it’s already fire extinguisher time. Norman is thrown into a bunch of Diet Coke cans as they head into the kitchen. A trashcan to the head puts Terry in trouble and it’s time for an INDUSTRIAL SIZE cookie sheets to the head. Again, I’d assume Tony meant industrial STRENGTH but Tony has become the wrestling version of Ted Baxter (for you old TV fans out there).

Norman climbs a ladder to get into the plumbing but Funk chairs him down and through a table full of cookies. Some chairs to the head have no effect on Terry so Norman chairs him even more on the way into the arena. They get inside and Norman channels his inner Cat by dancing, but at least it makes more sense here.

Norman actually tries the spanking dance and as you might expect, Funk isn’t pleased and caves Norman’s head in with a few chair shots. It’s ladder time but Dustin Rhodes makes the save and piledrives Terry on a chair. Funk kicks the chair into Dustin’s head though, knocking him into the ladder. A ladder shot to Norman’s face gives Terry the title.

Rating: C-. Yeah it was fine but this this might have been the longest hardcore match of all time at eight minutes. It’s entertaining enough though and that’s all you can really ask for on a show like this. In a different vein though, the Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk feud needs to stop. As far as I can remember, they’re fighting over whether Dustin is a bigger chicken than his dad, who isn’t even with this company. Why is this going on for three months?

If you ordered this show, you can get a MOUSEPAD! Tony: “That’s right. A mousepad.”

Russo tells Booker he’ll forgive him for what he did with Sting if he does a favor now. Madden rants about the handshake with Sting. It was a fist bump but I’d assume Madden was too busy finding stupid jokes to watch the show anyway.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Mike Awesome vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner takes him down with a nice amateur move, followed by the bicep curl elbow. We pause for push-ups and Mike bails to the apron for a slingshot clothesline to take over. A top rope clothesline gets two so Steiner kicks him low. Hudson brings up the valid question of how far do relaxed rules go. Not that it matters as we’ve got Kevin Nash with a crutch to knock Awesome off the top, setting up the Steiner Recliner to send Steiner to the finals.

Rating: D. Three minutes, a low blow and interference means it’s already time for Awesome to give up to a veteran in just two minutes. I get the idea of pushing Steiner but at the same time I’m not wild on having a newcomer lose this quickly. Then again, that might mean actually pushing someone new instead of giving some newcomer lip service that they’re getting a push.

Russo fires Dustin Rhodes for letting Funk win the Hardcore Title. Russo takes credit for Goldust, which is the only time Rhodes was ever worth anything.

US Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Sting vs. Vampiro

Vampiro jumps him during the entrance but Sting no sells his offense and punches Vampiro right back. We get the brawling on the floor out of the way as the announcers talk about Sting’s new intensity since the new regime took over. You know, in the six days and about fifteen minutes of wrestling he’s done. A top rope splash gets two for Sting and they fight outside where the Splash hits barricade.

Vampiro kicks him in the face and drops a leg for two as a wrestling match has broken out. Sting pops up after a slam and they kind of botch what I think was supposed to be Vampiro jumping off the top but getting caught in a powerbomb. Instead it came off like he tried a diving hurricanrana but got spinebustered. Either way it wasn’t good looking but it sets up the Death Drop and Deathlock to send Sting on to the finals.

Rating: D+. This is another match that happened tonight and there’s really no reason to see these two fight anymore, though I’m sure they will because Vampiro is creepy or whatever. Sting being involved in the two clean finishes of the night makes sense but I wouldn’t mind these matches having more time for a change. Six minutes shouldn’t be on the longer side of the matches in a night.

Page says he’ll win.

Cruiserweight Title: Shannon Moore vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Crowbar vs. Chris Candido vs. The Artist vs. Lash Leroux

The title is vacant coming in and this is one fall to a finish. Oh and we can’t get a second match to break ten minutes but we can have a 3 Count performance. Make that TWO performances as they actually have to fill in time on a show with matches these short. Thankfully everyone else charges to the ring so we don’t spend another five minutes on entrances.

It’s insanity to start and I’m sure Daffney and Helms are going to get involved. There are tags required here and Crowbar gets an early two on Candido via a northern lights suplex. The Whiplash gets two on Crowbar (just called a signature move by Tony. Not Whiplash or anything but at least he knew it was a signature more) but Juvy flips out of the same move and scores with the Juvy Driver. Everything breaks down and Daffney hurricanranas Crowbar by mistake.

Lash dives on Crowbar but takes out Daffney as well. A big series of dives leaves Candido with Helms, but David Flair comes in to dance. Artist crotches Candido (by shaking one of the ropes he wasn’t standing on) but gets thrown off, only to have Candido miss the swan dive. You can see Crowbar powerbombing Juvy but that’s not important enough to feature. Artist hits an Angle Slam (not a Samoan drop) but here’s the debuting Tammy Lynn Sytch to pull Artist off the top, giving Candido the pin.

Rating: C-. So 3 Count can dance for about two and a half minutes but the match can’t even get 5:15? I’m not sure if this was good or not because the match was another mess with no flow or idea behind it other than “get everyone’s stuff in because we don’t have time to do anything else.” Candido winning is a good choice though as he’s not your standard high flier but can actually have an entertaining match, unlike Artist.

Paisley and Tammy have a catfight post match. Shannon breaks it up and gets his crotch grabbed.

We’ve got three weeks until the next pay per view. Sweet goodness calm down people.

Jarrett says he’ll win because he has everyone in his corner.

Tag Team Titles: Team Package vs. Shane Douglas/Buff Bagwell

Flair is still in street clothes and Russo is out with Bagwell/Douglas to do commentary. Bagwell offers Luger a handshake to start but for once Luger is smart enough to not go for it. It’s time for a pose off, followed by Luger’s standard offensive sequence to take over. Shane comes in and beats Luger down, only to have Flair come in for some revenge. Hudson drops the Dynamic Dude moniker but it’s off to Buff for some right hands and a backdrop.

We hit the chinlock on Flair with Luger trying to make the save, allowing Shane to come in sans tag. Like it matters that the referee didn’t see it anyway. Shane punches Flair a lot and we get half a Flair Flip in the corner. Some F Bombs mess with the censor’s minds but Luger gets in a clothesline from the apron to give Flair a breather. Lex gets to come in for his clotheslines, including the fabled double clothesline. It’s like two at once!

Shane gets caught in the Figure Four but Buff hits Luger low and makes the save. The Blockbuster takes Shane down by mistake but Russo pulls the referee out. Now freaking Kronik debut for High Times on Luger, giving Bagwell the pin and the titles with Russo counting the pin.

Rating: D. How are you enjoying the Russo Show this evening? That’s all this show has been about: pushing Vince Russo as a featured player in a major wrestling promotion because he’s in charge and gets to do whatever he wants and feel important. Lame match again, mainly because Shane isn’t interesting in the ring.

Steiner says he’ll win.

Sting says he’ll win.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sting

So…..I think Sting is the heel here? It’s really not clear. Steiner hammers him down but gets dropkicked out to the floor, allowing Sting to get in a dive. Sting’s top rope splash hits knees though and Steiner drops him with a gorilla press. Back up and Sting breaks up a superplex, only to have the Stinger Splash hit the referee. We’re still not done yet though as Vampiro pops up through the ring and pulls Sting underneath. Sting comes out with a bloody mouth, which is described as covered in blood, setting up the Recliner to give Steiner the title.

Rating: D-. Notice that all of the New Blood guys winning here are veterans? Like I said, it’s because this whole “let’s push the young guys” is lip service and you could tell by watching for five minutes. This was another bad match to add to the pile with Russo making sure to put in everything he could to every match and making the action a backdrop to whatever is supposed to lead up to the next angle. It’s a never ending cycle and Russo never saw why that was a problem because Russo doesn’t get how wrestling works.

We recap Monday, which is another way to feature Russo. They throw in the World Title tournament stuff to try to make it sound interesting.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Kimberly is here with Page, more or less guaranteeing a swerve. They start fast by trading some big shots until Page’s jumping tornado DDT gets two. Kimberly gets in a slap on the floor and the fight goes into the crowd, which only shows off all the empty seats. Page gets the better of it and they finally get off the wide shot and show them coming back to ringside.

Jeff uses Kimberly as a shield but still gets sunset flipped for two. He’s still able to crotch Page on top though, setting up a superplex. Instead of covering like a wrestler should, Jarrett brings in a chair as Tony starts talking about the WWF for some reason. The match slows down until Page avoids a charge in the corner and hits a good looking sitout powerbomb for two.

We’ve got Bischoff in the aisle because this match hasn’t been entertaining enough. They head outside with Jeff using various things fans hand him, including Page’s book, as they’re now ripping off ECW. Kimberly saves Page from getting crotched on the post (Madden: “Get away you scurvy wench.”) and Jeff gets crotched instead. The Diamond Cutter misses and the referee goes down. Again. A belt shot gets two on Page so it’s Figure Four time. Kimberly has the guitar and just get to the screwjob already.

Page gets to the rope after about a minute and a half and gets a pair of near falls off some rollups. Back up and Jeff dives into a swinging Rock Bottom and it’s sleeper, sleeper, belly to back suplex. Bischoff tries to interfere and there’s the Diamond Cutter but Kimberly comes in with the guitar and hits Page (I’m too tired to even make fun of it at this point) to give Jeff the title. At least the fans popped for the swerve.

Rating: C+. Match of the night here which could have been better had they swapped the participants in the last two matches. Page vs. Jarrett sounds like a US Title match and Steiner vs. Sting could be a World Title match under the right circumstances. This match worked better because it had time and because the people in the match know how to work well enough to get around the lame booking ideas.

The New World Order (yeah it’s the same thing, down to most of the members) celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know I’m supposed to yell about how bad this was but there’s a problem: I barely remember anything on this show five minutes after it wrapped up. This show was about two months of TV crammed into two hours and forty minutes. Save for the main event, nothing had time to go anywhere and nothing had time to develop because we had to get in all of Russo’s segments (how many were there? Eight or so?) and all of the other shenanigans, yet the show was only two hours and forty minutes.

The show stayed so short by following a simple idea: don’t let them wrestle. Of the fourteen matches, one of them broke nine minutes. I’ve covered the lame booking and Russo not knowing how to run a wrestling show to death and I’m sure I’ll get to it more in the future, but this show was such a total overload. There’s WAY too much on here to know if anything was really good or not and the little bit that does stick out is quickly forgotten for the sake of whatever else Russo has to throw out there.

The main thing that stood out here was how they’re not even hiding what they’re doing here. It’s another big NWO style superstable with the evil bosses in charge, but you pick JEFF JARRETT as the focal point? I know Russo has always been a fan but good grief you have Scott Steiner right there and you go with Jarrett? The idea of the youth movement is fine, but like I said earlier: the only champion who is actually young (or at least didn’t feel like a veteran) here is Candido, who had years of experience of his own. It’s a youth movement with people who aren’t actually young and WCW hopes we can’t figure it out.

I can’t say it’s the worst show I’ve ever seen, but most of this show’s problems are due to how much stuff it has going on. You can’t tell which way is up on this show (hint: look at the buyrate and go the other way), let alone have anything leave an impact on you. Russo never understood the idea of letting something breathe and it shows badly on something like this. The really bad times are coming, but this is much more about being too hectic for its own good and booking WAY too much into a show that should have been ten minutes longer with fewer matches packed in there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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They’re having a bunch of the Dusty Classic matches at house shows.  Instead of just having the matches at Full Sail and probably wearing out the live crowd, they’re mixing the schedule up.  My guess is we’ll only see clips of some of these matches instead of the full version and that’s a good decision.  You don’t need to see every match in full to get the gist of the tournament.

Again: NXT thinks this stuff through and gets the best results possible.