NXT Date: August 19, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Rich Brennan
It’s the go home show for Takeover: Brooklyn and the card is pretty much set in stone, meaning tonight is all about the final build. This Saturday is going to be the biggest show in NXT history with 13,000 fans in attendance, so hopefully this show sets the stage in a very big way. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Finn Balor destroying Marcus Louis last week but getting attacked by Kevin Owens, including the Pop Up Powerbomb to leave the champion laying.
The recaps continue with a look at Bayley pinning Becky Lynch last week to earn a shot at Women’s Champion Sasha Banks. The staredown with Sasha made me want to see the match even more than I already did. Assuming Bayley wins the title (and Heaven help them if she doesn’t), the eruption is going to be off the charts.
Opening sequence.
Here’s NXT GM William Regal to open things up with a good old fashioned contract signing. It’s Bayley out first with Regal pointing out that she defeated Emma, Charlotte and Becky Lynch to earn the shot. Imagine that: earning a title shot because you beat all the contenders. Banks comes out and sees the girl Bayley hugged in the front row, who she promises to make cry. Now THAT is a heel.
Bayley thanks the fans and says she couldn’t be here without them. She’s had these title matches before but she’s let it slip through her fingers. Fan: “NOT THIS TIME!” Bayley: “Yeah that’s right.” She knows the people can feel it, she knows Regal can feel it and she thinks Sasha can feel it too. Bayley signs but Sasha mocks her for having such a big moment. Fans: “Let’s go Bayley!” Sasha: “There’s a reason the show is in Brooklyn and not here.” That earns her some of the loudest booing in her career.
Sasha promises to show Bayley why she’s the boss and stamps her signature on the contract. The champ goes to leave but Bayley says she’s watched a lot of WWE and this isn’t how contract signings end. Sasha isn’t scared because she isn’t Becky or Charlotte. Bayley really thinks she’s a role model to all the little girls in the audience? Sasha is the real role model because she’s going to teach them that fairy tales don’t have happy endings.
It’s not worth her time to fight Bayley tonight because Bayley is just not worth it. Banks leaves and Bayley looks like she’s about to cry but goes after Banks on the ramp until referees break it up. I haven’t wanted to see a match like this in a long time, probably all the way back to the first Shield vs. Wyatt Family match. As they always do, NXT knows how to take their time to build up a match, but more importantly they know how to build to a moment. I’m to the point where I have to see Bayley win the title and it’s going to be one of the best moments in a long time, even if it seems so obvious. Hopefully it’s not too obvious.
Apollo Crews video.
Tyler Breeze vs. ???
Breeze has a Liger mask to hang on the corner. The jobber doesn’t even have a name and the Supermodel Kick takes him out at 35 seconds.
Breeze puts the Liger mask on the guy post match and says he’s heard great things about Liger but he really isn’t impressed. Everyone here wants a little preview of what they can expect, so there’s a Beauty Shot to the jobber with Breeze counting his own pin.
Hype Bros/Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. ???/???/???/???
Cass thinks that any Joe Schmo who wants to go toe to toe with him, Zo, Mojo and the Bro can only be described in one word. Mojo cranks on one of the nameless jobber’s wrists before it’s off to Ryder to send him into the buckle. Even the announcers aren’t naming these guys. A middle rope dropkick with Ryder landing on top for a cover connects before it’s off to Enzo to stay on the arm.
The first jobber brings Enzo to the corner for a tag to the guy in a shirt like Rollins used to wear for a kick to the head. Jobber #3’s chinlock doesn’t last long and the hot tag brings in Big Cass to clean house. Everything breaks down and the first jobber takes the Broski Boot, followed by #4 getting Cass’ side slam and the Rocket Launcher for the pin at 3:08.
Rating: C-. Total squash here and I kind of like the idea of the newcomers not even being named because it’s not worth the time. The announcers spent the entire time hyping up next week’s eight man tag with the winners facing Dash Wilder/Scott Dawson/Chad Gable/Jason Jordan.
Dash Wilder/Scott Dawson/Chad Gable/Jason Jordan say it’s going to be a bit more difficult for the Hype Bros/Enzo/Cass next week. Gable does his ready, willing and Gable line and his teammates groan.
Samoa Joe vs. Steve Cutler
The Rock Bottom out of the corner and the Koquina Clutch end Cutler in 33 seconds.
Corbin jumps Joe from behind and throws him back in the ring for End of Days.
The new and improved Bull Dempsey is here next week.
Blake/Murphy vs. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton
Non-title. Fans: “Come on Blakey let’s go party.” I hate that song but good night that’s brilliant. Dawkins armdrags Blake down to start and dropkicks both champions down. Blake gets in a few shots but a shoulder puts him down and it’s off to Fulton to clean house. A swinging gutwrench suplex plants Murphy but he pops back up for the running suplex into Blake’s frog splash for the pin at 3:39.
Rating: C. It was to have this not be a squash but there was never any doubt as to who was winning here. Unfortunately we didn’t get enough Bliss here as she’s clearly the star of the team and by far the most interesting thing out there. Blake and Murphy are little more than passable but they have a gorgeous manager with attitude so they’re going to be fine.
Post match the Vaudevillains come out to introduce their counter to Bliss. Before they can say anything though, Bliss comes up and slaps them both twice. Fans: “WE WANT BLUE PANTS!”
Next week it’s Carmella vs. Eva Marie, which is one of the matches being taped before Takeover. Also next week, the eight man tag mentioned earlier and Charlotte vs. Emma vs. Becky Lynch vs. Dana Brooke.
Here’s Kevin Owens with a ladder for his last speech before the title match. After annoying the fans by bringing up Brooklyn, Owens calls the fans hypocrites for hating Takeover not being here in Florida. These are the same fans who chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT, unless he’s laying a finger on Sami Zayn or mentioning John Cena, which makes them boo. If he talks about beating John Cena though, everyone cheers. The NXT fans are the John Cena of wrestling fans because nothing genuine comes out of their mouths.
They talk about wanting NXT to succeed and grow but then they boo when it’s selling out a 13,000 seat arena (“which only sold out once I was in the main event”) because it’s being taken away from then. He’s sick of coming here and performing in front of trash like this. However, it’s going to make him feel better to beat a clown like Balor in front of a crowd worthy of seeing him. As for Balor, he needs to understand that Japan was a fluke.
What Owens has done to guys like Sami Zayn is nothing because now he needs the NXT Title to shove it in the faces of these stupid fans. Saturday is going to be destroy Owens destroy and climb Owens climb. Fans: “FALL OWENS FALL!” Owens is on top of the ladder and there go the lights.
Balor is sitting on the top rope so Owens wisely climbs back down. They don’t wait for the brawl and Owens is knocked to the floor with a big ladder shot to the face. Fans: “RUN OWENS RUN!” Balor climbs the ladder and says he’s retaining the title and shutting Owens’ mouth on Saturday.
Overall Rating: B. This is a good example of a show where the wrestling is the least important thing on the card. Tonight did an outstanding job of building the card for Saturday with Owens showing why he’s a master on the microphone by pointing out everyone’s hypocrisy and then losing the fight. I’m far more excited for Takeover than I am for Summerslam, which is the case with almost all of the NXT shows these days. Excellent go home show here that did everything it was supposed to do.
Results
Tyler Breeze b. ??? – Supermodel Kick
Hype Bros/Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady b. ???/???/???/??? – Rocket Launcher
Samoa Joe b. Steve Cutler – Koquina Clutch
Blake/Murphy b. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton – Frog splash to Fulton
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Nitro – March 27, 2000: Please Save No Changes Before Reboot
Monday Nitro #233 Date: March 27, 2000
Location: Sheraton Hotel, South Parde Island, Texas
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden
Well this is suddenly a packed show. First of all, it’s the Spring Breakout Show, meaning it’s a party themed show, which also means all of the people in attendance were in for free. Above that though, we’re officially in the last year of WCW as they would air their last show on March 26, 2001. The big story is Sid turning on Hogan last week so it’s time for Old People Theater. Let’s get to it.
Gene Okerlund opens the show in the ring because he’s a party by himself. He has someone to bring out for their return to WCW but gets Kimberly (looking great here) instead. Gene: “I’ve been double crossed!” Kimberly does the introduction for him and of course it’s Diamond Dallas Page.
Gene plugs Page’s upcoming book signing and then gets to the less important stuff: Page’s back injury potentially ending his career. That gets a quick “I’ll be back and my back will be jacked” before Gene is off to Ready to Rumble, which comes out next week. Page basically gives a press junket interview about the movie and the premiere, but after all that’s done, he wants his World Title back (which will be jacked I’m assuming).
Cue the NWO because where would we be without them? Jarrett reminds Page that there’s only one star around here and it’s not going to be long before Jeff shows everyone why he’s the chosen one. There won’t be a three time champion because Jeff has the stroke around here (what stroke is he talking about? That hasn’t been clear since Russo left) and he’s going to crash the Hollywood premiere. Page can see the marque now: Jeff Jarrett in Bada Boom, Bada Bing, Bada BANG. This isn’t the most thrilling feud in the world, but you know it’s going to be better than Jarrett vs. Sid one more time.
The announcers talk for a bit with Tony asking for a bit more time before we go to the b-roll. Of note: a sign between the two talking heads: “I Wish I Was At Raw.” The big news of the week: Eric Bischoff is back to head up creative. However, “you may have heard on the internet”, Vince Russo might coming back as well. Keep in mind that Russo is just a name to WCW fans. I don’t think it was ever announced that the Long Island voice of the flailing arm was Russo so, as is my normal question here, WHY WOULD FANS CARE WHO IS IN CHARGE OF CREATIVE???
As usual, this is WCW/Russo (who was officially back despite Tony saying we get his decision tonight) thinking that everyone is on the internet trying to find out all the inside stuff when that was maybe half a percent of the audience at this point. I mean, even today when that number has grown significantly (but is still the minority), I don’t want the companies acknowledging it. There’s a suspension of disbelief there and it ruins a lot of the mood by saying “yeah this is all scripted.” But hey, it makes Russo feel smart so it’s all fine.
To continue the theme of stupid moments, we get a clip of Jimmy Hart on the Mancow radio show where he got in a fight with the host. Keep in mind that he was in Chicago for the start of ticket sales for Spring Stampede, which was about three weeks after the on sale date. Is anyone surprised that tickets for the show didn’t go so well? Anyway, Mancow wants to fight Hart in the ring. I’m sure this is going to get pay per view time.
Three jobbers are in the back when Paisley comes up to give one of them a Cruiserweight Title match. The one in the middle, better known as Michael Modest, gets the shot.
The NWO was at the pool to discuss the breast stroke. One of the Harris Twins’ arms was in a sling.
Booker rambles about Kidman and threatens the healthy Harris Twin. I think they’re fighting tonight, but given how much Booker was going on, they might be taking in a matinee.
Cruiserweight Title: The Artist vs. Michael Modest
Artist is defending of course. Both guys get in the ring and another song plays but it’s just an error because WCW. Tony talks about fans talking to him about the return of Russo and Bischoff and my goodness just shut up already. Does anyone believe that this is the hottest story among common fans?
Modest throws a nice t-bone suplex and hammers away in the corner as Tony goes on about Russo’s success in the WWF leading to the downfall of Bischoff. Chavo and Candido come to the ring for a closer look. Madden on Russo and Bischoff: “What’s next? The cat working with the dog?” I get the joke, but WCW ran that match on Thunder this past week.
Artist is put in the Tree of Woe as we hear more about Russo and Bischoff before Tony throws in Sid issuing a half million dollar bounty on Hogan’s head. Modest grabs a quick Death Valley Driver for two as Chavo and Paisley argue on the apron. Madden: “Maybe we’re not putting this match over enough.” Artist gets knocked into Paisley and Modest hits something like White Noise for the pin, though this is suddenly a non-title match after the announcers and Paisley both said it was before the match started.
Rating: C. Modest looked fine out there and was a nice surprise, but you can tell Russo is back as there were 19 other things going on during the match. Between Tony and Madden never shutting up about the new writers and three people at ringside for whatever reason, I could barely see the match since the camera couldn’t stay still. But yeah Modest looked good here, which is why we won’t be seeing him in the ring again until January.
The announcers freak out over the finisher before jumping right back to the bounty. To be fair that’s a bigger story than Modest.
The Harris Twins get promo time. Oh sweet goodness the Harris Twins are getting promo time. Don has injured his shoulder from pressing Midajah back at the hotel, so tonight it’s Booker vs. Ron.
Spring break videos.
Hogan arrives but Vampiro flags him down for a chat.
Booker T. vs. Ron Harris
Ron is in an NWO shirt, jean shorts and tennis shoes. Don offers a quick trip so Ron can clothesline Booker to the floor as the announcers talk about Russo and Bischoff again. Booker fights back with a spinebuster and the ax kick but here’s Jarrett for a distraction, allowing Don to sneak in for an H Bomb (arm was fine of course) to give Ron the pin. So now Booker is losing to one of the Harris Twins? Jarrett is one thing but Booker has had singles success. This is too much of a stretch.
Harlem Heat comes out post match but Kidman runs in to save Booker.
Vampiro tells Hogan about the bounty in one of those moments that is so obviously scripted that it hurts my soul.
Gene brings out Hogan for a chat with Hulk taking his sweet time to get out here. Thankfully the announcers pick up on this and suggest that someone got to him already. Hogan talks about girls in swimsuits giving Jimmy Hart a massage to make him feel better after last week. Well he isn’t going to top that all night. Hulk thinks he should just stand out here all night and beat up Sid (who isn’t here) until the sun comes up. The frat boys chant for Hogan, who calls Vampiro the wrestler of the future.
Hogan and Vampiro is one of the most bizarre buddy pairings I’ve ever seen in wrestling. He sees the magic of Hulkamania in Vampiro and promises to watch his back. Cue the Wall’s music and we see him on the roof of the hotel next door where he signals for a chokeslam. Hogan: “THAT’S THE WALL!” Keep in mind that the hotel is about 15 stories high and at least a street away from the show, meaning that Wall would likely be a white dot from Hogan’s vantage point in the ring.
Disco tells the Mamalukes that their match with the Jung Dragons is their final step towards a title shot.
Jung Dragons vs. Mamalukes/Disco Inferno
The Dragons come out to 3 Count’s music with their green circles, meaning it’s time for Japanese boy band music. The Mamalukes sneak in from behind to jump start the beating, complete with their own version of the H Bomb to Jamie. Disco chills on the floor to start as Vito hammers Jamie in the corner. A charge in the corner misses though and Kaz comes in off the hot tag to clean house.
That earns him the wrath of Kung Fu Vito, who slugs Kaz down and brings in Johnny. A huge gorilla press toss sends Kaz over the top and to the floor in a big crash, but Tony is reading the announcement that Russo and Bischoff will work together. Yeah it’s been hyped up all night and it’s mentioned during a nothing six man tag. Vito picks Jamie up for a suplex and runs around the ring with him up in the air. That’s some impressive power.
Johnny jumps from the mat to the top rope for a spinning guillotine legdrop but it’s still not enough to get the announcers’ attention. This is straight out of the NWO era playbook where everything else is important except the match at hand. As Tony keeps going on, he ignores the Harris Twins interfering. I mean literally, it’s like he’s not even watching the match. There’s no change in his tone or anything and he just continues on about the announcement. Disco comes in via a slap to the face but the Dragons take him down and hit Chris Chetti and Nova’s Tidal Wave (FINALLY getting a reaction from Madden) for the pin.
Rating: C-. I’ve always been a fan of the Tidal Wave so this was a good ending. The announcers drove me crazy but that’s par for the course in WCW: focus on everything except what’s going on right in front of you because that’s the real place of interest. The match was decent enough as it got a bit more time than average and the Mamalukes are fine for a midlevel power team.
Tony says the Harris Brothers have come in, a good minute and a half after they got here and started beating people up. The Twins clean house to make sure the Dragons don’t get a rub off this.
Nitro Girls.
Team Package vs. Sting/Vampiro
This is under Texas Tornado rules, meaning the first person to lose their foot and get a really impressive prosthetic wins for his team. I would throw in something about cocaine use but that’s too fair to Flair. Since this is an upper midcard feud, the announcers spend the entrances talking about Russo and Bischoff. It’s a brawl to start with Luger and Sting immediately fighting up the ramp and out to the pool. While that goes on, Flair wristlocks Vampiro, which Tony describes as turning up the heat.
Luger gets backdropped into the water as Vampiro has Flair in some kind of a leg lock. Back poolside, Luger pushes a waiter in as we keep cutting back and forth between the two fights. It turns into a food fight with Luger taking some salsa and sour cream to the face. Flair has Vampiro in the Figure Four but we need to watch Sting and Luger walk down a bridge towards the beach. Sting gets thrown onto a surfboard, but Tony has breaking news.
No, Flair hasn’t made Vampiro submit. No, Sting and Luger aren’t actually doing something interesting. Instead, THERE WILL BE REACTIONS FROM WRESTLERS TO THE RUSSO AND BISCHOFF ANNOUNCEMENT! When you ask? WE’RE NOT SURE YET! Vampiro spinwheel kicks Flair down for two as Luger and Sting are almost down to the water. Luger finally gets the salsa and sour cream knocked off of him and a piledriver on the sand is enough to give Sting the pin.
Rating: N/A. It’s not really fair to rate this as most of it was spent walking around to get to the beach with maybe 45 seconds of Flair vs. Vampiro thrown in. Some of the Luger vs. Sting stuff was amusing but it never reached beyond the lame garbage brawling and jokes about Luger being covered in sauces. I will however give them credit for finally using their surroundings as this could have been a lot more boring than it was.
Booker T.’s reaction to Russo and Bischoff returning: he doesn’t really care.
More spring break videos.
Terry Funk is ready for Hugh Morrus tonight and is still coming for Dustin Rhodes. Madden to Tony: “You and I will be retired long before Terry Funk.” He says this in jest but he’s actually right as Funk was still kicking around the indies about ten years after those two were done.
Meng vs. La Parka
La Parka’s voiceover talks about living large on spring break and how it’s one for him and one for his homies. He calls Meng Jungle Jim and the Tongan Death Grip gets Meng the pin about a minute later after no selling a chair shot.
The KidCam sees Buff Bagwell hitting on the same girls Steiner and the NWO talked to earlier. Is there a point to this coming anytime soon? We’ve been seeing Buff hit on women for like three months now and nothing has ever come of it. The NWO sees this and wants to kill Bagwell.
Fit Finlay thinks Russo and Bischoff can fix things.
Here’s the music video for Bif Naked’s We’re Not Gonna Take It, featuring a bunch of WCW people from Ready to Rumble.
Clips of Wall hurting people.
Terry Funk vs. Hugh Morrus
Funk has dropped the chicken in exchange for a chair. Tony has another announcement so he asks Madden to take over the play by play for a second. Madden: “All right. Morrus rushes at Funk and pounds him in the back with some heavy forearms.” Tony: “Ok that’s enough of that. Now for the announcement.” The announcement: next week’s Nitro and Thunder will be Best Of shows as we wait for the debut of the new Russo and Bischoff controlled WCW.
Funk chops on the ropes and sends Morrus into the buckle over and over. Tony: “Ok I’ve been told by the back to put over these two beating each other up. Well I can’t do that right now.” Instead, we’re told that Russo and Bischoff have two weeks to sort things out and debut their new WCW. Funk misses his moonsault and Tony FINALLY calls something (incorrectly of course), followed by Morrus missing his top rope elbow. They fight outside with Funk being powerbombed onto the sand and Tony finally pays some extended attention.
That lasts as long as an average Funk retirement as he talks about the two week break again. Morrus clotheslines Funk down and then knocks him out to the floor, only to miss a Cactus Elbow off the apron. Funk comes up with a chair for Morrus and a shot to the invading Dustin Rhodes, only to have Hugh plant Funk with a powerslam, followed by No Laughing Matter. Not that it matters though as Dustin hits Morrus with the chair for a DQ.
Rating: D. If nothing else, maybe we can get rid of this stupid story once the show is rebooted. Funk vs. Rhodes isn’t an interesting feud and is based on stuff that happened twenty years earlier. Therefore it’s perfect for WCW but annoying for its fans, which is why WCW keeps running for it.
Funk and Rhodes fight into the crowd as Morrus moonsaults the referee.
Hogan is ready for Wall and has his main man Vampyro (yes pyro) watching his back. “If the Wall tries to get on his boat to China, Vampiro (he got it right that time) will beat him with the hammerhead sharks.” Apparently Hogan is putting up half a million dollars of his own against Sid’s. So if Hogan wins he gets a million dollars? Well half a mil….you know what, I don’t care. Moving on.
Here’s the NWO for their tag match. After Steiner does his thing, Jarrett says he’s turning over a new leaf: the girls can stick around tonight.
Hennig and Bagwell are in the back, where Curt tells Bagwell to ignore the girls. Buff: “Oh come on. Girls are used to being wet around me.” Hennig: “Get your head in the game!” Buff: “It already is.”
The Artist, who doesn’t usually talk, thinks Russo and Bischoff coming in will suck. Oh wait that’s just what the boys want him to say. Instead, his real feelings are that he thinks they’ll give people a chance.
Even more spring break stuff.
Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner vs. Curt Hennig/Buff Bagwell
Hennig gets double teamed during Buff’s entrance. Bagwell sees what’s going on and keeps up his strutting before coming in for the save. Things settle down to Bagwell vs. Jarrett with Jeff in control but Buff gets in a knee lift and even more strutting. Hennig and Steiner come in and Scott easily breaks up the HennigPlex attempt. It’s time to ignore another match, but this time it’s to talk about Hogan vs. Wall up next. Bagwell comes back in and gets beaten up as Madden calls Steiner a human suplex machine.
Buff’s double arm DDT puts Jarrett down and the not hot tag (do you have any idea how hard it is to bore a college crowd?) brings in Hennig. Everything breaks down and Buff Blockbusters Jarrett but Jeff pops up and guitars Hennig (who had Steiner loaded up for the HennigPlex. He had Scott’s arm around his head and lifted the leg. Tony: “He may have been going for the HennigPlex but we’ll never know for sure.”) to set up the Steiner Recliner for the win. Buff was on the floor with the NWO girls instead of making a save.
Rating: D. Good night can someone put a gag on Schiavone? It’s amazing how much different things are when Bischoff is around to yell in his ear and make him sound like an idiot. Other than that, this was another lame match with the NWO fighting two guys who are thrown together because the NWO is still a thing for no apparent reason.
Vito thinks Russo and Bischoff are a step in the right direction to get the ratings back in order.
Hulk Hogan vs. The Wall
This is billed as a million dollar match with both guys putting up $500,000, even though Sid isn’t paying Wall anything unless Wall takes Hogan out. So if Wall wins he gets a million bucks total and if Hogan wins he gets……what? He doesn’t get the bounty from Sid and he keeps his own money, so why does Hogan put up any money in the first place? It’s kind of a one sided story and WCW has managed to make it more complicated than it ever should have been.
Wall pounds and chokes to start but Hogan comes back with his variety of right hands. Some more choking with I think part of Wall’s shirt is enough to send Hogan outside. It’s already table time but Hogan is waiting with a chair. Hogan pounds away with the chair but Wall no sells. Back in and Wall scores with the chokeslam but it’s Hogan’s turn to no sell. There are the big boot and legdrop but Wall does the Undertaker situp and goes after Hogan in the corner. Cue Vampiro to go after Wall for the DQ.
Rating: D+. I didn’t hate this as much as I thought I would as Hogan not only lost, but more importantly couldn’t beat Wall. This made Wall look like a monster instead of beating up people like David Flair and Crowbar over and over. It’s not a good match, but it gave Wall a big rub for a change, which is something he really needed.
Hogan and Vampiro knock Wall through the table but Wall still won’t sell to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. I can’t say I blame them for killing this off. Yeah WCW is starting to turn some stuff around, but it’s very clear that Sullivan and Russo/Bischoff’s booking don’t mix. Between all the brawling and boring stories we’ve been having for the last few weeks and now Tony going from a competent announcer to the airhead that he’s best remembered as all over again, there’s very little to get excited for around here and maybe the change will help for the time being.
I’m going to try to find a copy or recap of the Best Of shows for next week but there’s a chance I’ll just skip over them and be back in two weeks.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Summerslam Count-Up – 2011: That Time Nash Texted Himself
Summerslam 2011
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17.404
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T
This year has been all about the rise of CM Punk. In June he sat on the stage and ripped into John Cena and the WWE in general, leading up to the world title match at Money in the Bank in Chicago. Punk won the title in a masterpiece and then left the company as champion. Cena won the title from Rey Mysterio on Raw, but Punk came back with his title. Tonight it’s champion vs. champion for the undisputed title. Oh and Christian vs. Orton in the blowoff to the underrated feud of the year. Let’s get to it.
Adam Jones, some guitarist from Tool, plays the Star Spangled Banner. WE WANT MAN MOUNTAIN ROCK!
The opening video is about how Summerslam being where dreams are made. We shift to a shot of dominoes falling over. Punk talks about being the first domino being knocked over and starting a revolution. HHH is guest referee tonight because what would a major match be without him?
The theme song this year is Bright Lights Bigger City by Cee Lo Green. I usually don’t care for him but it fits the show well.
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio/R-Truth vs. Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio
Cole IMMEDIATELY freaks out over Miz being on Summerslam. Miz keeps talking about how awesome he is until Truth cuts him off. This was when Truth was insane so he complains about things that start with the letter S, like spiders, Summerslam, Cee Loo Green and Conspiracy. Del Rio is the Raw MITB winner. The fans are WAY into Del Rio here for some reason. Mysterio gets a title shot at Punk or Cena tomorrow on Raw. Miz and Kofi get things going and the fans are actually behind Miz as well. Kofi hits a nice monkey flip followed by a dropkick before bringing in Morrison.
A double clothesline puts Miz down and the good guys do stereo nipups in a nice visual. Off to Truth who is tackled by Morrison but comes back with right hands to the face. Truth sends Morrison to the floor as the announcers talk about wigs. Thankfully Booker is there to get us back to the action by shouting BACK TO THE ACTION! Miz comes in with a kick to the head and puts on a chinlock, only to have Morrison kick him in the head to escape.
Kofi comes flying in off the hot tag and cleans house with his barrage of high flying offense including a cross body to Miz for two. The Boom Drop gets two and everything breaks down. Kofi gets two off the SOS but Del Rio breaks up the pin. Miz hits a kind of Diamond Cutter face plant for two and it’s Kofi in trouble from the boots of R-Truth. Del Rio comes in with a belly to back suplex and mocks Kofi’s Trouble in Paradise hand slap.
Kofi kicks him away but Miz breaks up a hot tag bid. Cole lists off Miz’s high school accomplishments as Kofi flips out of a sunset flip and stomps on Miz’s ribs to put him down. Hot tag brings in Rey to face Truth who does his usual backflip/splits sequence, only to have Rey kick him in the head. Del Rio breaks up a double 619 so only Truth takes the kick. Kofi dives on Miz and Rey hits a top rope splash on Truth for the pin.
Rating: B-. Take six guys, give them ten minutes and let them have fun. It’s an idea as old as time and it’s still used to this day because it still works. The good guys can fire up any crowd with their high spots and the fans were into the match as a result. As mentioned earlier, Summerslam is great at having good openers and this was no exception.
Johnny Ace wants an apology from Punk over a kick to the head on Monday. Punk gives an over the top apology and Ace walks away. Punk turns around to see Stephanie who wishes him good luck. He makes fun of Vince and she wishes both Cena and Punk good luck. “But I’m just Vince’s clueless daughter right?” Punk: “Yeah pretty much.” She offers him a handshake but he knows where it’s been.
We recap Sheamus vs. Mark Henry. Henry is just starting the Hall of Pain run and has been destroying everyone in sight and breaking a lot of limbs. He stood tall in the ring until Sheamus came out and said three simple words: I’ll fight him. It turned Sheamus face and made him very popular due to the simple idea of standing up to a bully. THIS is how you book Sheamus: have him in there against some monster and taking a good fight to him, not slumming it with Damien Sandow and winning each match with ease.
Mark Henry vs. Sheamus
Henry takes him down with a clothesline to start but Sheamus comes right back with right hands. The pale one pounds away and actually knocks Henry down to his knees, only to be thrown to the floor. Henry EASILY throws Sheamus through the ropes and hits a splash for two. A running crotch attack crushes Sheamus’ neck but he’s in the ropes before the count starts.
A backbreaker puts Sheamus down and it’s off to an Argentinean backbreaker to complete the set. Sheamus powers out, only to be sent chest first into the corner. Henry misses a Vader Bomb though and Sheamus has a breather. A series of ax handles to the chest and head put Henry down followed by the forearms in the ropes. They clothesline each other down and we get a breather.
Back up and Mark runs into a boot in the corner, allowing Sheamus to go up for the top rope shoulder, good for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and a clothesline puts Sheamus down. Sheamus slips out of the World’s Strongest Slam and there’s the Brogue Kick to knock Henry to the outside. Sheamus follows him to the floor but Henry drives him into the post and through the barricade in a great crash, allowing Mark to beat the count for a countout win.
Rating: C+. This was another simple formula: take two big power brawlers and let them beat the tar out of each other for nearly the minutes. It’s also a smart ending as Sheamus gets to stay strong but Henry gets another win. Sheamus would get a countout win I believe at the next PPV so it evened out. Good, fun brawl here.
World Heavyweight Champion Christian says his match with Orton will be an epic summer blockbuster. He’ll be like Harry Potter, making magic at every turn. Orton will be like Cowboys and Aliens: a flashy flop. That movie was good though.
Trailer for Killer Elite which is probably sponsoring the show or something.
Here’s Cee Lo Green for the mini concert. He looks like he’s in big sparkly pajamas but the song isn’t bad so I’m not complaining much. The fans aren’t moving at all for this but the vocals are pretty bad so I can barely hear a word he’s saying. Now he throws in his bigger hit Forget You, complete with Divas in red dancing behind him.
Now here’s a Slim Jim ad. I’m sure the fans are LOVING this stuff.
Now a 7-11 commercial. My goodness get to something else.
Divas Title: Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix
I could go for a Slurpee. Back to 7-11 it is! Kelly is defending. Beth and Natalya are the Divas of Doom here and don’t like the Barbies like Eve and Kelly. Kelly and those AWESOME little shorts of hers go after Beth and we get the screaming headscissors. Beth is knocked off the apron and Kelly dives off the middle rope to knock her to the floor. Back in and Kelly flips out of the corner and Beth clotheslines her down.
Kelly gets dropped throat first on the top rope for two Eve plays cheerleader. This is a lot of standing around with Beth glaring down at Kelly before hitting a running Umaga shot in the corner. We hit the chinlock followed by the second over the shoulder backbreaker of the night. Kelly finally slips out and hits a quick neckbreaker to put both of them down.
Beth sends her into the Tree of Woe for no follow up before getting two off a side slam. Kelly gets in a knee to the face and goes nuts on Beth, only to have the handspring elbow countered. The Glam Slam is countered into a victory roll for the pin, just like every time Kelly beat Phoenix.
Rating: D+. All things considered, this was something resembling a miracle. The match was nothing of note but Kelly actually didn’t embarrass herself out there. She got WAY better over the years, but at the end of the day she was out there because of how good she looked in those tiny shorts. It also says a lot that less than two years later only Natalya is left from this match.
Stephanie leaves Cena’s locker room for some reason.
Truth and….Jimmy Hart of all people talk about a c-o-n-spiarcy. Jimmy offers to manage him and Truth seems interested before he realizes that Hart is…..LITTLE JIMMY! Truth looks over to see Ron Artest (Metta World Peace) and his daughter in a worthless cameo.
BUY TWIX!
Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
I like Barret’s End of Days theme a lot better than the God Save the Queen one now. This is MITB fallout as Bryan knocked Barrett off to win the case. Bryan has some slow music which isn’t all that bad, but soon he would go to Flight of the Valkyries which works far better for him. Bryan is rocking the white trunks with red trim here which are pretty awesome. Feeling out process to start with Barrett punching Bryan down to stop the wrestling part of the match.
Daniel takes it to the mat and spins out of a wristlock before dropkicking Wade down. Cole says Barrett is a submission master as Bryan does the AJ Styles drop down into a dropkick, right down to the same overblown drop down. Back up and Bryan hooks a dragon screw leg whip and a running dropkick in the corner for two. Another kick to the chest gets two and Bryan backflips over Barrett, only to charge into the Winds of Change for two. A slingshot belly to back backbreaker gets two for Wade and we hit a reverse chinlock.
Back up and Bryan hits a running clothesline but Wade comes back with a big running forearm to the face. Wade puts Bryan in the ropes and kicks him out to the floor before hooking a chinlock. The hold doesn’t last long again but Bryan ducks a boot and crotches Barrett on the top. A dropkick puts him on the floor and there’s the flying knee off the apron. Back in again and the missile dropkick gets a close two for the American.
Bryan escapes a pumphandle slam and fires off more kicks to the chest for two. Wade ducks a clothesline and hits a big boot to the face for two but Wasteland is countered into the guillotine choke. Barrett goes down and there’s the LeBell Lock but Wade gets into the ropes for the break. Daniel loads up a superplex but Barrett crotches him on the top rope. A middle rope clothesline takes Bryan off the ropes and Wasteland is good for the 100% clean pin.
Rating: B+. I REALLY liked this for one reason: it was a good wrestling match. It’s a basic story of one guy wanting revenge for a loss in a big match, it had a good story in the ring with a striker against a technical guy and the action was good. Wade Barrett is a guy who can go in the ring but he’s the ultimate jobber to the stars and I have no idea why when he can do this.
We recap Randy Orton vs. Christian. Christian won the title at Extreme Rules but Orton came over to Smackdown to replace Edge as the top guy. Orton won the title on his first night on the show, ending Christian’s title reign in less than a week. Christian wanted one more match, turning heel in the process.
Orton beat him again, but Christian some how got one more match and if Orton got disqualified, he would lose the title. For once, that actually worked and Christian won the title. Tonight, it’s the final match with no holds barred. These matches kept getting better and better and if Punk vs. Cena hadn’t happened it would have run away with feud of the year.
Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Randy Orton
Before the match, Christian brings out Edge to be in his corner to a HUGE ovation. After a full entrance, Edge says that he’ll never be cleared to wrestle again. When he first left, that made him happy because he was able to pass the torch to Christian. Edge didn’t think it was fair that Christian had to defend the title five days after a ladder match and Christian complained too.
Then he complained more and more and more and more. Then he wanted rematch after rematch and FINALLY he won the title back…..but he did it by disqualification. Yeah Edge did some bad things, but he did it with style. He didn’t hide behind lawyers and clipboards. Somewhere along the line Christian became a parody of himself. Edge didn’t know Christian would ever be like this, and that’s not good. Edge drops the mic, walks out, Christian freaks, and here’s Randy.
Remember this is no holds barred. Orton takes him into the corner and stomps him down before hitting a quick clothesline. Christian rakes the eyes and gets a quick one count off a middle rope elbow to the face. A backdrop puts Christian down and Randy stomps away but the champion chokes away on the ropes. Orton loads up the Elevated DDT but gets backdropped to the floor. Really back and forth so far.
Orton sends him head first into the barricade and loads up the announce table. The RKO is blocked and Christian grabs the belt before sprinting into the crowd. Randy catches up with him and stomps Christian down onto the concrete before heading back to ringside. Back in and Orton rains down right hands in the corner. Christian avoids a charge and sends Orton’s famously bad shoulder into the post to take over. The champion brings in a kendo stick to choke away before getting two off a back elbow.
Christian busts out a spinebuster for two and goes to the middle rope, only to be dropkicked out of the air. The powerslam puts Christian down again and now Randy gets the kendo stick. Instead of swinging though he catches Christian’s dropkick into a jackknife cover for two followed by the Thesz Press. Christian escapes the Elevated DDT into a Killswitch attempt but Orton counters into the backbreaker for two. The idea of this feud was that they knew each other so well and they would add another move to the string of counters every match. It was awesome.
Orton can’t hit the Punt but has to send Christian face first into the post to avoid getting crotched against the steel. Randy pulls out a pair of tables and slides one into the ring, only to have Christian drive him into the apron. Christian sets up the other table on the floor and they head inside where Orton superplexes him onto (not through as the table hasn’t been set up yet) the table for two. The table is set up in the corner but Christian counters the whip into the reverse DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the spear but Orton jumps over and tries the RKO, only to be sent over the top and out to the floor.
Christian goes after him but is sent knees first into the steps to put him down again. Orton takes forever to set up the steps but gets sent face first into the steel again. Christian loads up the other announce table and blasts Orton in the head with the announce table. The champion tries an RKO through the table but gets caught in the real thing to destroy the table instead. Back in and Christian hits a quick Killswitch for two and Christian is furious.
The champion brings in a pair of chairs for the Conchairto but spits on Orton, causing Randy to move away. Now it’s Randy with the chair, cracking it over Christian’s back and knocking him off the apron through the table. Orton throws in some steps and trashcans before catching a charging Christian in a powerslam through the table in the corner.
Some HARD kendo stick shots to the back have Christian in even more trouble and the Elevated DDT crushes a trashcan. Christian tries one more rush but his sunset flip out of the corner is countered into the RKO (same move that gave Orton the title in the first place) onto the steps for the pin and the title.
Rating: A-. Much like the Undertaker vs. Edge Cell match a few years earlier, this was the perfect way to blow off a feud with Orton being the definitive winner. This feud did a great job of building upon itself with the extended sequences carrying over from match to match and building a deep psychology. Great match here and the whole feud is worth checking out.
Video on Axxess.
We recap Punk vs. Cena. As mentioned, Punk left with the title at Money in the Bank so there was a tournament held to crown a new champion. Mysterio won but lost the title to Cena the same night. Punk came out and held up his own belt, meaning we had two champions. This all happened in two weeks when it could have went on for months. The entire match is summed up with one idea: Cena doesn’t know if he can beat Punk. HHH is the new boss and is the guest referee tonight for no reason anyone not named HHH can figure out.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. CM Punk
Punk has more or less been turned face by the will of the crowd alone. Feeling out process to start with Punk grabbing a headlock and SHOUTING spots into Cena’s ear. Cena easily takes him down to the mat and slaps on a headlock. That gets him nowhere so Punk gets up and we have a quick staredown. Cena grabs a single leg and slaps on an armbar followed by a chinlock. Back up and Punk hits a quick leg lariat before hooking a chinlock of his own with a bodyscissors.
Cena powers out and hooks a quick fisherman’s suplex before hooking another chinlock. The fans chant Fruity Pebbles and WE WANT ICE CREAM as Punk gets up a quick big boot to the jaw. HHH hasn’t been a factor so far. A few knees to the ribs and a headbutt to the shoulder set up another bodyscissors from Punk as we’re barely in second gear nearly eight minutes into the match. Cena escapes again and they fight over a suplex off the apron. Neither guy can go anywhere so Punk kicks Cena in the head to knock him outside.
Back in again and Punk cranks on a neck lock but Cena stands up and suplexes out of it. Cena tries to speed things up but the shoulder block is caught by a knee to the head for two. The running knee in the corner misses and now Cena can initiate the finishing sequence, only to have Punk hit a knee to break up the Shuffle. CM tries a kick but gets caught in the STF, only to get to the ropes and counter the ProtoBomb into a downward spiral and a Koji Clutch.
Cena rolls out and puts on the STF but Punk slips in an arm to block most of the pressure before countering into the Anaconda Vice. Cena rolls out of THAT and tries the STF again but Punk crawls out before it goes on full. AWESOME sequence there as the gear has shifted hard. Punk backdrops him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but he bumps his own head in the process. HHH starts counting and gets to nine before going to the floor and throwing both guys back inside.
They slug it out back in the ring but Cena can’t hit the AA. Instead he busts out a GREAT dropkick and hits the Shuffle. The AA is countered again into a sunset flip for two followed by the high kick for two more. Cena escapes the GTS and hits a corner splash (?!?) and a sitout powerslam (that’s more like it) for two. The top rope Fameasser doesn’t get to launch as Punk hits the running knee to the head and the bulldog off the top for two.
Punk loads up another springboard but gets caught in the STF to put him in real trouble. He finally gets to the rope and pops up for a GTS attempt, only to be countered into the AA for a close two. The top rope Fameasser misses again and Punk grabs a quick GTS for two more. HHH still hasn’t been a major factor other than throwing both guys in. The Macho Elbow gets two and Cena goes into straight brawling mode but gets caught by another knee to the chin. GTS #2 connects and the three goes down but Cena’s foot was on the ropes before two.
Rating: B+. The match is good with that sequence in the middle being a big highlight but there’s one major problem for this match: it’s the sequel to Money in the Bank. That’s doomed so many matches over the years and while it didn’t sink this one, it certainly slowed it down a lot. Still though, good stuff here and definitely worthy of a major PPV main event.
Punk takes a victory lap around the ring but won’t shake HHH’s hand. The Game doesn’t seem too mad about it and raises Punk’s hand as the winner. HHH leaves, CM Punk poses, and KEVIN NASH comes in through the crowd and lays out Punk with a Jackknife. Cue Alberto Del Rio, briefcase in hand.
Raw World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. CM Punk
Kick to the head, Del Rio wins the title to end the show. This would turn into one of the stupidest and most ridiculous stories ever with Nash showing a text asking him to lay out Punk but it turned out he sent it to himself for one more moment in the limelight after a big fan reaction at the Royal Rumble. The end result of all this: HHH beating Nash and Punk.
Overall Rating: A. This is a GREAT show with some awesome matches and some great drama at the end. Now to be fair no one knew what the drama would lead to, but it blew my mind when I watched it at first. The rest of the show is awesome though with the worst match being the Divas. If the biggest torture I have to go through all night is looking at Kelly in those shorts and Eve looking gorgeous all dressed up, so be it. Great show here and well worth seeing.
Ratings Comparison
Kofi Kingston/John Morrison/Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/R-Truth
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Original: C
Redo: C+
Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly
Original: C+
Redo: D+
Wade Barrett vs. Daniel Bryan
Original: B
Redo: B+
Randy Orton vs. Christian
Original: B+
Redo: A-
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Original: A+
Redo: B+
CM Punk vs. Alberto Del Rio
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Overall Rating
Original: A+
Redo: A
Ok the main event isn’t THAT good. I think we’re firmly at the point where my ratings are about the same for most matches.
Summerslam Count-Up – 2010: Survivor Series Is In November
Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.
Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.
Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.
We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.
Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.
Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.
Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina
Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.
Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.
Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.
Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.
Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.
We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.
Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society
Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.
Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.
The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.
Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?
Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.
Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.
Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.
We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.
Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.
Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.
Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.
Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.
They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.
The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.
Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.
Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.
We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.
Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio
Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.
Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.
There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.
Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.
A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.
Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.
Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.
Video on Axxess.
We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.
Nexus vs. Team WWE
Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield
Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???
You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.
It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.
Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.
Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.
Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.
To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.
Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.
Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.
Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.
Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.
Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.
Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.
This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.
Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.
Summerslam Count-Up – 2009: Good Grief He’s Back Again
Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.
The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.
Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.
We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.
Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.
Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.
Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.
Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.
A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.
Luke Perry is here.
Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?
Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.
Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.
Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.
Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.
Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.
Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.
Kane vs. Great Khali
Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.
He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.
Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.
Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.
We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.
Legacy vs. D-Generation X
DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.
Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.
The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.
Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.
House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?
There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.
Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.
ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal
Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.
Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.
Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.
We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.
Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.
Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.
Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.
Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.
Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.
We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.
Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk
TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.
Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.
Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.
Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.
Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.
Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.
Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.
Ratings Comparison
Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio
Original: A-
Redo: B+
Jack Swagger vs. MVP
Original: C
Redo: D
Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme
Original: D+
Redo: C-
Kane vs. Great Khali
Original: D+
Redo: D-
D-Generation X vs. Legacy
Original: A
Redo: B+
William Regal vs. Christian
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
John Cena vs. Randy Orton
Original: B-
Redo: D
CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy
Original: A
Redo: A-
Overall Rating
Original: A-
Redo: B
The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.
Monday Night Raw – August 17, 2015: Glory, Glory, Repeat, Repeat
Monday Night Raw Date: August 17, 2015
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Summerslam and we’re in Brock Lesnar’s hometown. Lesnar is in the house tonight for a showdown with the Undertaker, which is probably the best chance WWE will have at getting Undertaker booed in this whole story. Other than that we have another stare down between John Cena and Seth Rollins before their title for title match on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
With no opening sequence, here are HHH and Stephanie to get things going. Stephanie says this is like Christmas morning when you’re waiting to open your presents. Shouldn’t that be Christmas Eve? There is very little waiting to open presents on Christmas morning. They plug the $9.99 price of course, which has basically become their catchphrase. HHH runs through the card and Stephanie makes sure to call Cena and Rollins’ match from a month ago infamous.
What exactly is infamous about that match? I mean, there was a big moment, but that doesn’t make it infamous. They throw in that Jon Stewart is the official host, with Stephanie of course turning it into a press release because just saying “former Daily Show host Jon Stewart” is too low key for her. We’re promised a big week and a big night so it’s time to start things up.
Randy Orton/Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens/Sheamus
A few notes during the entrances. First of all, I have time to make notes during the entrances despite Orton coming out before the break. Back from the break and his music is still playing and we waste time on the entrances. Second, Sportscenter is broadcasting from Summerslam this Sunday, which is really awesome. Cesaro and Sheamus get things going but the fans want Orton instead. Fans: “YOU LOOK STUPID!” Sheamus rolls to the floor and says “respect the hawk!”
Back in and a shoulder sends Sheamus outside again as they’re starting slowly here. Owens gets his turn and cuts Orton off from making a tag in a wily move. That earns him a clothesline and now Orton makes the tag (with a big windup to play to the crowd), allowing Cesaro to come in for a delayed suplex. A running uppercut sends Owens to the floor and us to a break.
We come back with Owens hammering on Orton and sending him into Sheamus’ raised boot. Off to a chinlock for a bit before Orton throws Owens down and makes the hot tag to Cesaro. House is cleaned as it often is during a hot tag, but Sheamus gets in a shot to slow Cesaro down. Sheamus goes up but dives into an uppercut for two but is still able to send Cesaro over the top and (eventually) out to the floor.
Orton is fine with that as he sneaks up on Sheamus for the hanging DDT. Owens tries to come in but…..doesn’t take the RKO. That looked a bit botched as Owens didn’t go down, which I’m sure is due to his overwhelming fat and total inability to connect with an audience so he should probably lost five matches in a row. Instead Sheamus takes the RKO for the pin at 13:30.
Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but the botch at the end really didn’t hurt things that much. The problem here was the match being a bit longer than it needed to and focusing on the chinlocks and rest holds instead of really anything else. These feuds aren’t exactly lighting the world on fire, but Owens and Cesaro can redeem themselves with an awesome match. Orton vs. Sheamus…..well that might take a bit more effort.
Video on Undertaker and Lesnar’s issues since Battleground.
Undertaker, covered in smoke and shadows, talks about the reaper calling your name, which means it’s over. The hounds are baying for Lesnar’s soul and the gates are opening to welcome him to his eternal punishment. Brock’s name has been called and he will never rest in peace.
Here’s Rollins breaking Cena’s nose, in case you missed it the first 1938 times.
Rollins says the contract signing tonight will seal the deal for Sunday. The Authority agrees, but Rollins has one more request. When he wins on Sunday and becomes the first double champion, he deserves a spot among the legends, like a statue. Stephanie actually agrees.
Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper
Since there is no other way to build a tag match besides have every possible combination fight time after time. Ambrose is on commentary. Reigns starts slugging away to start (shocking) as Dean tries to figure out how Harper is part of Bray’s family. Byron asks Dean why the two families hate each other. Dean: “It’s like cats hating dogs. I don’t know why they hate each other either but we hate the Wyatts too.” Reigns kicks away at Harper and clotheslines him out to the floor, setting up the running apron boot as we take a break.
Back with Harper holding a chinlock and Dean keeping his eye on Bray. Reigns finally suplexes out but Harper hits one of the best big boots I’ve ever seen for two. Even Dean just went quiet when that connected. Reigns fights out of the Gator Roll and wins another slugout before mixing things up a bit with a t-bone suplex. They head outside for a nice clothesline off the apron to drop Harper but Roman can’t follow up. Back in and Reigns hits what feels like his 10th clothesline of the match, followed by a Samoan drop for two.
The Superman Punch is loaded up but Harper is smart enough to go outside, suckering Roman in for a superkick. Harper shrugs off a Superman Punch through the apron and grabs Winds of Change (called that by Cole, even though that’s Barrett’s name for it) for two more. Another superkick (dang these guys are repetitive) is followed by a nice sitout powerbomb but Reigns kicks out one more time. A second Superman Punch sets up the spear to give Reigns the pin at 15:00.
Rating: C. I really didn’t like this as much as I should have as the amount of the same moves over and over really dragged it down for me. Reigns really needs to mix up his offense a bit with stuff like that t-bone suplex being a good place to start. He badly needs some transitional moves like that to set up the big power finishers and they shouldn’t be hard to find. One good thing here: the false finish on the powerbomb was really, really good.
Post match Bray grabs Harper’s head and says follow the buzzards.
Becky Lynch vs. Tamina
Tamina easily shoves Becky down to start and catches her in something like a swinging Rock Bottom for two. We’re in an early chinlock as the announcers ramble about how awesome this revolution is. Becky fights up and springboards into a kick to the chest, followed by a missile dropkick for two. Tamina tries another slam, only to have Becky roll through into the Disarm-Her for the tap at 4:02.
Rating: D. Just….no on this one. I’m going to spare you another rant on how much of a waste of time it is to have the Divas wrestle random matches while Nikki does her serious face and talks about how strong she’s made this division while the announcers yap about how great this new era is. Tamina continues to be a waste of time in the ring and clearly her power stuff isn’t worth much. Not their best effort, but Tamina isn’t one of the best Divas.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
Lana is on commentary. Henry comes out with the American flag and throws Rusev around to start with some powerslams for two. They head outside with Henry being sent into the post, setting up the superkick and Accolade for the submission at 2:48.
Post match Lana calls Summer in for a fight and slaps the taste out of her mouth. Now Lana wants Rusev and of course Ziggler returns to continue the feud that no one asked for in the first place. Ziggler cleans house with superkicks (just like Rusev, Rollins and Harper use) before posing with Lana. Why are they together again?
Back from a break and Ziggler says he’s back to fight Rusev.
Video on the Streak, which was broken by Brock. In case you missed that. This is the same video from last week.
Ryback vs. Miz
Non-title with Big Show on commentary to hype up Summerslam and his new direct to DVD movie. Miz rips on Big Show’s acting and promises to win the title on Sunday. Some hard chops put Miz down but he goes after the leg, albeit not the one that had the infection. Instead he rips at Ryback’s face, earning himself a gorilla press into a powerslam. Miz makes the mistake of diving at Ryback, who catches him in midair and Shell Shocks him at 2:24.
Ryback’s challenge to Big Show is declined.
It’s time for Cena and Rollins to sign the contract for Sunday. Rollins (whose NEVER SHUTS UP says “YOU CAN’T SEE KNEE” on the back), is out first to suck up to Stephanie before going after the Minnesota Twins for not being very good. He promises to be awesome on Sunday and signs his half. Seth brings up Minnesota’s own Bob Dylan and his song “The Times They Are A-Changin.”
For ten years, John Cena has been on the top, but the times are changing. Cena is a disease and Rollins goes on about how Cena won’t answer his challenge so here’s John in person to respond. Cena brings up the obvious problem with Rollins’ arguments: Yeah half of the fans are saying let’s go Cena and half of them are chanting Cena sucks, but none of them are saying a word about Rollins. He calls Seth out for being a Cena ripoff who has all the talent in the world with HHH choosing him as proof. HHH even gave him the Pedigree to ensure that his own legacy lasts forever.
Last week Cena was stuck at home due to doctor’s orders, but he knew he’d be back. Then it hit him as clear as Rollins’ nose. Cena is a fifteen time champion and the back of his shirt says so. It didn’t occur to him that he was going to have another chance to win the title until HHH brought it up. This Sunday, Cena proves that Rollins is a footnote instead of the future. The difference between HHH and Rollins is HHH was never Ric Flair’s b#*$&. This Sunday, Cena is making Rollins his. As usual, Cena nails the hard sell like no one else can.
New Day/Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons
Oh look: another match we’ve seen before. Titus throws Diego around to start but Woods and Torito get in a fight for a distraction, allowing Kalisto to hurricanrana Diego for the pin at 2:10.
Ziggler vs. Rusev is official for Sunday.
Recap of last week with Stephen Amell and Stardust, leading to their tag match on Sunday.
Stardust and Barrett give us a public service announcement about destroying Amell and Neville this Sunday. Barrett is given some new armor and proclaims himself the Cosmic King.
Nikki Bella vs. Sasha Banks
Non-title because it’s still August. Nikki shoves her away for some jumping jacks before Sasha does the same. Byron brings up holding the gold and having the power, which immediately translates into what it means if the Bellas lose a non-title match on Sunday. We hit the chinlock on Sasha and finally hear something about Saturday’s Takeover. Sasha fights up and smashes Nikki in the face, followed by the double knees to the ribs for a nice reaction. Some pushups take us to a break.
Back with Sasha holding a chinlock until Nikki fights out (which seems like it was supposed to receive a face reaction. Seriously) and grabs an Alabama Slam for two. A loud WE WANT LESNAR chant starts up as Nikki powers up into an electric chair. The Rack Attack is loaded up but a Naomi distraction lets Banks roll through into the Bank Statement for the tap out at 10:41.
Rating: C-. Sasha winning is a good idea and the countdown to the title actually being defended should start next week. Nikki gets the record in four weeks so things can actually go somewhere for a change. Unfortunately I think they’ll give the Bellas the win on Sunday to affirm their dominance, because the big belt isn’t enough proof.
Another video of the Streak being broken.
Here’s Heyman to introduce Lesnar, whose music starts at 11:01. Confetti falls and Brock gets the hero’s welcome he rarely receives. Heyman sings: “Mine eyes have seen the glory of the conqueror, my lord.” After his third chorus of GLORY GLORY BROCK LESNAR, the gong strikes. The lights come back up and there’s…..no Undertaker.
Heyman asks if Jedi mind tricks are the best Undertaker has. This Sunday, Brock will take God, the devil and the Undertaker to Suplex City. Paul goes over the Battleground story again but asks why Undertaker had to kick Brock low. Undertaker did it because he knew he couldn’t beat Brock, just like he never has before.
You can put Undertaker in the ring with anyone and Undertaker will have a tombstone waiting for them. However, Undertaker is in the ring with a Beast instead of a man. Heyman rants about Brock not respecting anything Undertaker has done and there go the lights again. This time it’s Undertaker in the ring and he kicks Brock low again. A chokeslam plants Brock and a tombstone does the same (with Brock’s head a good six inches above the mat. Thanks editing team) to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This is a weird one to grade. They did a good but not great job of setting up the main events on Sunday, but there was more they could have done. That’s the important term: there was more. The problem is so many of these ideas (throw tag teams together, contract signings, showdowns etc) have been played out for years but it’s all we get.
What really suffers here, as it has for a long time, is the midcard. So many of the feuds range from bad to just lukewarm and that’s not a good way to go into a huge show like this. The wrestling was good enough tonight and I want to see Summerslam, but this didn’t push me over the top like it should have.
Results
Randy Orton/Cesaro b. Sheamus/Kevin Owens – RKO to Sheamus
Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper – Spear
Becky Lynch b. Tamina – Disarm-Her
Rusev b. Mark Henry – Accolade
Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock
Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players b. Los Matadores/New Day – Hurricanrana to Diego
Sasha Banks b. Nikki Bella – Bank Statement
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Well alright. I’ve heard worse ideas and the guy is definitely hot right now as well as a huge WWE fan so I have very few complaints.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw – August 10, 2015
So here’s the thing: I really don’t think this show warrants a full on Reviewing the Review. It’s a stand alone show that is built around the drama of “Will Cena be at Summerslam or not.” Well now we know the answer to that question, I really don’t see the need to go through the entire show when nothing major happened and it was built around building to Summerslam, most of which is already set in stone. There were a few interesting things on the show which I’ll cover here, but this won’t be a step by step version of the show, as it would really be a big waste of your time.
Obviously the major story was Orton vs. Cesaro vs. Owens in a triple threat for a shot at the title later in the night, but I don’t think the ending was ever in any serious doubt. Orton winning makes the most sense as he only has a minor story going on right now and you can easily put him in a title match, have him lose, and suffer no harm. Both matches were good, but the Sheamus interference was obvious from the second Orton pinned Cesaro.
There was a long video on Lesnar vs. Undertaker. It went well enough, but there were better ways to set up the match than the 123rd version of “yeah the Streak was amazing and I didn’t think anyone would ever break it but Brock did and it was amazing” from a bunch of midcarders.
Miz, Ryback and Daniel Bryan did some stuff. It’s as riveting as it sounds but I like Ryback more and more every week.
Neville beat King Barrett in a minute and twenty seconds before setting up the tag match with Stepen Amell at Summerslam. I like the idea of Amell in there as he’s in great shape and looks like an athlete, but the Barrett squash just killed me. Bring up someone from NXT for that spot if it’s going to be so short, but find SOMEONE else to take a quick beating like that. It doesn’t accomplish anything and I really don’t want to see Barrett at Summerslam now.
So yeah, Raw was good this week and most of the stuff didn’t need any further discussion. Summerslam is looking great and the final go home show should offer a bit more to talk about.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This is a project that I’m getting involved with and it’s a rather cool concept.
What we have here is a package of cool stuff, ranging from e-books to matches to shoot interviews, some of which you can pick up for whatever you deem is the right price. The maximum price is going to be around $15, so this is hardly something ridiculously expensive.
Here’s the site, with a preview of some but not all of the stuff you get:
It’s a tiered system, with four different levels. Here are what you get at the basic levels that will be finalized very soon:
Free – 30 minute Water Cooler Talk with Matt Hardy. Yes free. All you have to do is enter your email to get updates on when the newest versions of this come out and you get this at zero cost.
First tier – You pay whatever you feel is right (includes everything in the previous tier):
An exclusive JTG shoot interview
“Feel the Heat: The History of SummerSlam” Vol. 1
A free one-month membership to CZWStudios.com
Mercedes Martinez & Angel Williams vs. Daizee Haze & Mickie Knuckles
Daniel Bryan & James Choi vs Robert Thompson & Chad Collyer
Jeff Hardy vs Wild Storm
Second tier – A price in the middle of free and the top price (to be determined, includes everything in the previous tiers):
An exclusive Matt Hardy Shoot Interview
Free three-month membership to Wrestling News World
CM Punk, Samoa Joe and BJ Whitmer vs Chris Hero, Homicide & B-Boy
A four way tag match
Team 3D vs Rhino & Abyss
The final tier – Somewhere around $15, includes everything above plus:
“Oh You Didn’t Know” shoot documentary on The New Age Outlaws
“The Raw Files: 1998” book
A surprise video feature that we will reveal a few days into the sale (you get this whether you buy before or after it’s released)
The key though is this is only available for one week. It’s going to be released tonight (August 16, 2015) at midnight and will only be available for seven days. There will be a new package available once a month with different things each time.
Starting next month, I’ll be throwing in one of my e-books into the package.
Let me know if you have any questions about it and spread the word around for this, though make sure you include the /gotommy part of the address. It’s similar to the Amazon links you hear about on the Steve Austin Show, as some of these sales kick back to me to keep me going around here.