And it made me proud to be an American. Or Canadian for like three weeks.
This was a cheap buy so why not. I met Duggan at Axxess last year and he couldn’t have been a nicer guy so it was a pretty easy choice. The book was a lot more straightforward than Holly’s but in a way that makes it more fun. Duggan is far nicer than most wrestling writers as he rarely throws anyone under the bus or says bad things about anyone, save for himself at times.
It’s an easy, fun read that took me about three days to get through and doesn’t get boring. Above all else, Duggan has an interesting take on people like the Radicalz and most modern young wrestlers: yeah they can do all kinds of moves that he could never dream of, but isn’t it interesting that he got more over by shouting HO and chanting USA while holding a board than they got by doing all those moves? It’s not about all the moves you can do, but rather about connecting with the fans in some way. If you can do that, they’ll never abandon you, but there’s always going to be someone who can do a flashier move. The only one that got more popular than Duggan (arguably of course) was Eddie, who had a story that the fans can connect to. Imagine that.
Duggan’s book is worth reading and can be found pretty cheap so check it out if you’re a fan of 80s/90s wrestling.
Impact Wrestling – August 5, 2015: One More Time
Impact Wrestling Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
Tonight is No Surrender as TNA presents another major show as a regular TV episode. The main event will see Matt Hardy challenging for the World Title against Ethan Carter III in a Full Metal Mayhem match, along with Austin Aries vs. Rockstar Spud for the Rockstar moniker. Let’s get to it.
We open with a quick Roddy Piper tribute. That’s nice of them.
Bram vs. Mr. Anderson
This has been a well built match with Anderson worrying about putting his career on the line against a monster like Bram. Bram has the microphone that he used to bust Anderson open a few weeks back. Anderson goes right after Bram to start and knocks him out to the floor with a clothesline. Back in and Anderson clotheslines him out to the floor again. This time Anderson clotheslines him on the floor to mix things up a bit but Bram is able to get in a few shots and take Anderson to the floor on his own terms.
Anderson gets dropped face first into the apron and Bram ties him up in the ring skirt for good measure. They’ve done a good job here of having Anderson try to wrestle and Bram sticking with the brawling. A chinlock has Anderson in more trouble but he fights up with right hands and the Regal Roll for two. Bram gets the same off a superplex as they’ve now switched their styles. An Edge-O-Matic and spinwheel kick get two each for Bram and now it’s his turn to hit some clotheslines. It’s microphone time for Bram but Anderson counters into a small package for the pin at 9:29.
Rating: C. I liked this one a lot more than I was expecting to but it wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Bram just being violent against midcarders has gotten him about as far as it can and now it’s time for him to have a major feud against someone. They told a decent enough story though and that’s really all that matters.
Bram nails Anderson with the mic and calls him Mr. Pathetic. That’s the best line they can come up with?
The Hardys talk about always defying the odds and promise Matt wins the World Title tonight.
Here’s James Storm to rant about his loss last week. There’s one man to blame for the loss and that’s Khoya. Storm demands that Khoya get out here because Storm got him out of that horrible country and gave him a life. He slaps Khoya in the face and that’s enough to make Khoya snap and lay Storm out. Khoya rants about how he’s proud of his heritage and is a proud Indian man named Mahabali Shera. Now, DO SOMETHING WITH HIM.
We recap Gail Kim vs. the Dollhouse, which sets up a three on one handicap match tonight.
Storm wants Shera tonight.
Gail Kim vs. Dollhouse
One fall to a finish and tags are required so Gail rolls away from Marti Belle to start. Taryn sends the lackeys after Gail to start but a glare sends Taryn running back to the apron. A dropkick to Jade’s back gets two as Pope starts reading tweets from fans. Jade gets two off a German suplex but heel miscommunication lets Gail take over again. A running tornado DDT plants Marti and Taryn runs off, leaving Gail to beat up both other members. The referee won’t count a pin on Jade because she’s not legal, even though all three are in at the same time. Eat Defeat is enough to pin Marti at 5:10.
Rating: D+. Hey, did you know that Gail Kim is like, a serious wrestler and doesn’t tolerate silly gimmicks? She’s basically Lance Storm and that’s not something I’m really all that interested in watching, especially not on and off for the better part of ten years. I don’t need to see her do the same feud she did with the Beautiful People, but that’s how the Knockouts work: someone new gets over and then here’s Gail Kim to remind everyone how great a wrestler she is while putting half the audience to sleep.
Drew Galloway talks about Eli Drake and how he didn’t build the Rising for one man to tear it down.
Drew Galloway vs. Eli Drake
Grudge match after Drake cost Galloway the World Title a few weeks back. It’s a brawl on the outside before the bell with Drew in full control and dropping Drake on the floor. A clothesline off the step drops Eli again before they head inside for the opening bell. The threat of a Future Shock sends Drake running up the ramp but Drew is there with another clothesline.
Eli finally gets in some shots of his own to take over, allowing for some choking in the corner back inside. A release German suplex sends Drake flying into the corner. Drew: “STAND UP!” Like a good villain, Eli goes to the eyes and rolls Drew up with a handful of trunks and a hand on the ropes for the pin at 3:50.
Rating: C. Nothing special here but Galloway and Drake are clearly stars of the future. The fallout of the Rising is already more interesting than the Rising ever was, which says a lot about how lame of a group they really were. I’m sure we’ll see these two fight again before Drew goes on to something bigger.
We recap Aries vs. Spud with Aries shooting his mouth off and putting his career on the line as a result.
Bobby Roode comes in to see Bully Ray (remember him?) and threatens to help Aries win tonight. Ray implies he’ll be at ringside to make sure that doesn’t happen.
Rockstar Spud vs. Austin Aries
The winner gets to keep the Rockstar moniker but Aries’ career is on the line as well. Aries quickly takes Spud to the mat for the Last Chancery but, as almost always, the move doesn’t work. A nice armdrag puts Spud down again and Aries nails a basement dropkick to send Spud into the corner. Aries keeps his full control with an STO, followed by the Pendulum Elbow for two. So are we just not getting Roode and Bully after that segment?
Back up and Aries charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a dropkick to the knee. Spud starts firing off some running forearms but the Underdog is broken up. Aries scores with a belly to back for two and we hit the Last Chancery again. That goes nowhere so it’s brainbuster time, only to have Spud small package his way out for two. This is really starting to pick up.
Some discus forearms rock the Rockstar and the brainbuster connects for two. Aries is stunned but Spud makes the big hero comeback. The big wind-up punch takes too long but the second attempt knocks Aries outside. A big flip dive takes Aries down again and a high cross body gives Spud a near fall. The Underdog is broken up but Aries sets him on top, only to be countered into a super Underdog to give Spud the pin at 11:20.
Rating: B. This started slowly but got much better as things kept going. Spud is awesome in the underdog role and Aries can make almost any match work. I can’t blame him for leaving though as there’s nothing left for him to do in TNA, especially since they’re not going to put him back in the World Title hunt anytime soon.
Aries raises Spud’s hand post match.
Post break, Aries and Roode say goodbye, saying they know they’ll both land on their feet.
Mahabali Shera vs. James Storm
Shera is in jeans. Storm takes him into the corner to start and shouts in his face. Shera will have nothing to do with these right hands to the face and makes his comeback, only to take the cowbell to the head for the DQ at 1:42.
Bully is down in the back.
Post match Jeff Jarrett comes in to see Dixie Carter, who is worried about Bully. Jeff offers to let Global Force help by offering to run the show for one week. Dixie isn’t sure but it seems to be a deal for next week. I guess this is where the invasion begins and for some reason I’m expecting this to be disappointing.
Ethan Carter III says he’ll retain the title tonight as Tyrus holds up the belt.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
Carter is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC. The champ takes over early on with a chair to the back before sitting down so he can punch Matt from eye level. That earns him a Side Effect through the chair and it’s already ladder time, which goes upside Ethan’s face. The ladder is laid across the middle corner so Carter can be rammed face first as Matt is in full control.
It’s time to go up but it’s WAY too early on, allowing Ethan to chair Matt in the leg. Why would you ever go up that early on? Back from a break with Matt breaking up Carter’s attempt at the belt by sending Ethan down into the buckle. Matt isn’t done yet as he drives the ladder into Ethan’s crotch to prevent another generation of Carter’s from populating the earth. That’s still not enough for Matt to get the title so he plants Ethan with the Twist of Fate.
A moonsault through the table is broken up with a quick crotching and a powerbomb through the wood but Matt is up again with a powerbomb of his own to break up Carter’s climb. They head outside with Matt bridging a ladder between the steps and the ring, only to get slammed head first onto the ladder. Since we haven’t had enough near climbs yet, Matt makes another save and hits a Side Effect onto the apron.
A guillotine legdrop drives Carter through the table on the floor but Matt takes way too long to climb, allowing Ethan to chair him in the leg. They already have to repeat spots for the saves? Carter climbs up, shoves Matt down and pulls the title off the hook to retain at 20:10.
Rating: B. Fun enough match but there was no reason for this to involve ladders and weapons other than so TNA could have a match involving ladders and weapons. It’s their first match against each other for the title and they used the big gimmick already. Matt became #1 contender for thrown together reasons and that’s not how you want to have a major match like this. It was fun, but I have no desire to watch it again. At least Carter won on his own for a change too.
Overall Rating: B-. As usual, TNA can do the big shows well enough but they’ll likely be back to the same dull stuff in a few weeks. If you believe the reports, none of this really matters as they’ll be off TV in less than two months anyway so at least we still had one good show on the way out. Their midcard continues to be lame, but the wrestling was good enough to carry things for a week.
Results
Mr. Anderson b. Bram – Small package
Gail Kim b. Dollhouse – Eat Defeat to Belle
Eli Drake b. Drew Galloway – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Rockstar Spud b. Austin Aries – Super Underdog
Mahabali Shera b. James Storm via DQ when Storm used a cowbell
Ethan Carter III b. Matt Hardy – Carter pulled down the title
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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NXT – August 5, 2015: This Is How We Do It
NXT Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re on the road to Brooklyn and most of the card can be seen from here. With just three shows left, it’s time to add some build to a lot of the midcard matches as the main event is pretty much set. There’s a good chance we’ll be seeing more of Charlotte vs. Bayley tonight as Bayley is aiming for the Women’s Title again. Let’s get to it.
In memory of Roddy Piper.
Opening sequence.
Charlotte vs. Bayley
They’re starting fast this week as the bell rings less than three minutes into the show. After a handshake, Bayley grabs a headlock and takes Charlotte over, only to have Charlotte nip up to her feet. A hammerlock and headscissors earn similar results for Bayley but Charlotte comes back with the rolling figure four headscissors to put Bayley down hard. Things get a bit more aggressive as Bayley scores with some ax handles to the chest, only to get kneed in the face for two.
Back from a break with Bayley countering the Figure Eight into a small package for two of her own, followed by the middle rope elbow to the jaw. Bayley lifts her up onto the top rope for a hurricanrana (that’s a new one), dubbed awesome by the fans. They slug it out (fans: “WOMEN’S WRESTLING!”) and a spear gets two for Charlotte. The young Bayley fan in the crowd freaking out on these near falls is great to see. Charlotte gets the Figure Eight but Bayley is too close to the ropes.
They fight over a backslide with Bayley climbing the ropes and flipping over Charlotte into the Bayley to belly for……two? That’s a very rare kickout. Now a German gets two more on Charlotte so she rolls Bayley up, sending Bayley head first into the middle buckle for a cool move. Charlotte goes up but Bayley grabs a super Bayley to belly for the upset pin at 12:22. The same fan that freaked out on the kickout is shown crying.
Rating: B. This was a really fun back and forth match with both of them working hard to one up the other. The big spot to end the match makes more sense as Bayley had to bust out something big to finally beat Charlotte and prove she’s worthy of getting a shot. Above all else though, the young girl being happy tells you all you need to know about Bayley. Wrestling has rarely had a character girls her age can look up to and Bayley is nailing the role to perfection.
Post match Bayley gives the girl her headband. That’s awesome.
We get a sitdown interview with Kevin Owens, who doesn’t like Michael Cole implying that his apology for jumping Finn Balor and William Regal wasn’t sincere. Regal said he wanted to see Owens lose and it takes a real man to say that behind someone’s back. “Or a real man’s man should I say.”
Owens needs the NXT Title back, not just because it’s worth more money, but because it reminds him of what he did to Sami Zayn and he likes that feeling. However, he’s scared of Regal screwing him like Montreal, which is where Owens is from after all. Therefore, why not make the rematch a ladder match? Cole asks if Owens can beat Balor and Kevin walks off. I like making it a ladder match as we’ve covered a regular match so why bother doing it again?
Bull Dempsey doesn’t like the video of him trying to get in shape last week and wants to do it right. This doesn’t go well either but it’s to be continued.
Baron Corbin vs. Steve Cutler
I’m starting to recognize these jobbers. The jobber would be the guy losing to Corbin via End of Days at 22 seconds.
Bayley comes in to see William Regal and nervously asks him for a Women’s Title match. Regal thinks she deserves one, but so does Becky Lynch. Therefore, next week it’s Bayley vs. Becky for the shot at Sasha in Brooklyn. Regal throws in that Bayley is his niece’s favorite wrestler. I’m getting into this story more and more every week. I want to see Bayley win the Women’s Title and it’s going to be an awesome moment when she finally does.
Tyler Breeze vs. Aaron Solo
We haven’t see Tyler in the ring in awhile. Breeze stomps Solo down in the corner to start, then pounds him down on the mat, then hits the Beauty Shot for the pin at 52 seconds. Well that worked.
Post match here’s Regal to announce Tyler’s opponent: Japanese legend Jushin Thunder Liger. The fans are STUNNED and we get a Liger video, which is one of those things you never expected to see in WWE.
Uhaa Nation video, who is now known as Apollo Crews. His debut is in Brooklyn.
Finn Balor gets a sitdown interview of his own and talks about what an honor it is to be NXT Champion. He’s known Kevin Owens for about a year now and after getting to know him, he really isn’t surprised by what happened at the contract signing. Owens may be a man of words, but Balor is a man of actions, and Owens’ actions don’t back up his words. Sami Zayn has been helping Balor get ready for the title match and Finn doesn’t care if it’s a ladder match, a cage match or a street fight, because he’s going to prove that Tokyo wasn’t a fluke. When asked if the Demon will appear, Balor gives a vague “we’ll see.”
Dash and Dawson vs. Hype Bros
Mojo and Dawson get things going with Rawley cranking on a wristlock and bringing in Ryder for the double knees in the corner. We get a WOO WOO WOO chant to the New Day rhythm but a Dash distraction lets Dawson pull Ryder off the middle rope and take over. Ryder takes a quick double teaming before slipping over for the hot tag to Mojo. Rawley cleans house and holds up Dash for the elevated Rough Ryder and the pin at 3:33.
Rating: C. This tag division continues to have depth and I’m so glad that Ryder is getting some TV time out of the deal. I’ve never liked how WWE wasted him and it’s nice to see him getting something other than a jobber’s treatment. Mojo and Ryder compliment each other in a weird way and should be fine as a meal for some big heel team.
Dash and Dawson beat up Ryder post match and lay him out with the Shatter Machine.
The Vaudevillains are given a rematch for the NXT Tag Team Titles in Brooklyn. Regal advises them to come up with a way to counter Alexa Bliss.
Bull Dempsey has some more success with his training and seems to be making progress, even being able to turn over a big tire.
Rhyno vs. Samoa Joe
This should be a hard hitting ending to a pretty nothing feud. Joe fires off right hands to start but Rhyno rams him face first into the buckle. That’s fine with Joe who sends Rhyno outside and scores with the suicide dive. Back in and the corner enziguri drops Rhyno again but he comes back with a spinebuster as we take a break.
After the commercial it’s Joe coming back with an STO, earning him a TKO for two. Joe’s middle rope boot to the face puts Rhyno down but he grabs a belly to belly. The Gore hits a boot so Rhyno settles for a clothesline for two instead. Rhyno makes the mistake of going to the middle rope, earning himself another enziguri and the Muscle Buster for the pin at 12:57.
Rating: C-. It’s a good enough power brawl but Joe is still “Samoa Joe: that guy you’ve seen elsewhere”. He hasn’t been wasted but after a big debut, Joe has just been a midcarder doing nothing of note since. I could see him being the opponent for Corbin in Brooklyn though, followed by a run higher up on the NXT ladder.
Overall Rating: C+. As usual, NXT provides a great blueprint for how to build up a big show. They didn’t have much of a midcard set for Brooklyn but in an hour they set up a Women’s Title match, a Tag Team Title match and a match with a legend, along with (for all intents and purposes) adding a stipulation for the title match. I had a good time with this show, but swapping the opener and main event would have been a good idea.
Results
Bayley b. Charlotte – Super Bayley to belly
Baron Corbin b. Steve Culter – End of Days
Tyler Breeze b. Aaron Solo – Beauty Shot
Hype Bros b. Dash and Dawson – Middle rope Rough Ryder to Dash
Samoa Joe b. Rhyno – Muscle Buster
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Nitro – March 13, 2000: Ghosts Of Cruiserweights Gone By
Monday Nitro #231 Date: March 13, 2000 Location: Civic Center, Providence, Rhode Island Attendance: 5,996 Commentators: Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone
It’s the go home show for Uncensored 2000, meaning we might finally get a breather from all this nonsense if we can just get through one more week. The big draw tonight is the return of Hogan and Sting, because that’s what the world needs right now. Other than that we might even be treated to more Jarrett vs. Sid build. Let’s get to it.
Ric Flair is in the back with Liz and Luger and tries to apologize for Arn making a scene on Thunder. Ric is never going to ride with the old truck again because he’s going to be riding with the Luger Ferrari. Luger says Arn is part of Team Package.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Ric Flair with the Hogan weightlifting belt and something to say. He isn’t happy to be in this God forsaken part of the world but he has a point to prove. Let’s get right to it and get Arn Anderson out here, which gives us what might be the best thing of the night: the Four Horsemen music. Ric cuts Anderson off before he can say anything and declares Team Package the replacement of the Horsemen and promises the old life can rise again.
Anderson says that would be the easy thing to do, but he’s been thinking about all those years of bleeding all over this country and proving that they were the best wrestlers in the world. What Flair is trying to do with Luger is taking the easy way and it’s guaranteed for destruction, so Anderson wants to step away as Flair’s friend, because it’s not going to work.
This brings Anderson to the strap match with Hogan at Uncensored so Arn wants Hogan to come out here right now. Cue Hulk and Flair loses his mind. Hogan cuts Flair’s ranting off but Anderson promises Hulk that he won’t be there at Uncensored because he’s taking himself out. Flair: “WHAT???” Arn walks away but Hulk comes down the aisle, talking about being the man in wrestling for twenty years. He doesn’t want to wait until Sunday and the brawl is on but Luger runs out to blast Hogan with the bat. Flair and Luger get in some shots before leaving Hogan laying, clutching his shoulder.
Just like it has been for weeks, this was one of the best segments they’ve done in a long time, but it’s all about old guys who are going to eventually have a horrible match. That’s where these segments are wasted: the matches are going to suck because the two wrestlers are about 100 years old. Yeah they were talented back in the day, but those days were a long time ago and WCW never found a way around that.
Spring Break Out preview with Rachman and the Nitro Girls.
After a break, Hogan is being checked out as Jimmy Hart and Arn Anderson look on.
3 Count vs. Jung Dragons
The Dragons are Kaz Hayashi/Jamie-San/Yang. It’s a big brawl to start and I don’t think I’m going to be able to follow most of this. Jamie-San (Noble in a small mask) hurricanranas Helms into the corner to start before it’s off to Yang for a high cross body. That earns him a superkick to the jaw but there isn’t time to sell because Kaz comes in to throw Shannon to the floor for a huge flip dive.
It’s time for the parade of dives with everyone getting one in, including Shannon who gets back in and dives onto the pile. Back in and both teams have one guy break up a pin with a top rope splash or elbow, followed by Shannon hitting a sleeper drop to finally get the pin Jamie-San.
Rating: C+. I need a commercial to catch my breath. This is the old lucha style tag that made WCW work in the first place and it was still awesome here. These six guys were out there going nuts and showing off everything they could squeeze into four minutes. The fans were blown away here and that’s exactly the idea they were going with. Get used to seeing these guys because they’re going to be fighting a lot in the future.
Luger yells at Ric in the back and they’re going to take care of Hogan tonight. Ric is way too thrilled at Luger being willing to take him back.
Curt Hennig tries to get Anderson to stay but Arn is going to see his kids.
Silver King and El Dandy are reading their fan mail when Miss Hancock comes up. Dandy: “Do we not excite your groin?” How is that not a more famous line?
The Wall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
They brawl into the corner to start where Wall handcuffs Bigelow to the ring for the DQ in 45 seconds.
Wall goes after Bigelow in the corner but Crowbar comes in with a big metal pole, only to get another chokeslam on the bad neck for his efforts. David Flair and his crowbar (the object) get the same treatment. Bigelow: “GET ME A KEY!!!” Wall chokeslams David through Crowbar through a table and gets in a few shots on Bigelow before we go to a break.
Here’s the NWO with something to say, but first they need to eject the girls. Jarrett says not so fast though because the fans might want to see some skin. If they do, they can look down their shirt so the girls can get out of here. Now for the serious business. Jeff has been hearing about how Sid has his number, so Jeff has a highlight reel of all the guitar shots to Sid’s head. Madden: “I might watch that one when I’m alone with my baby tonight.” As for tonight, the Harris Twins want to fight Sid and anyone he can find. Sid comes out and accepts the challenge and rambles for a bit before saying Vampiro is his partner.
Crowbar is taken into the ambulance as Bigelow says this is his fault. He wants Wall at Uncensored, even though it went pretty badly about ten minutes ago?
Harlem Heat is ready for Disco Inferno tonight and Booker/Kidman on Sunday. This was nothing.
Nitro Girls.
Clip of Paul Orndorff trying to sign a guy with massive arms at Arnold Schwarzenegger’s bodybuilding show. More on this later, because we’re just that lucky.
Booker/Kidman vs. Lane/Rave
Yeah Lodi is Rave now because changing his name every few weeks is the big solution. Kidman and Lane get things going as Miss Hancock comes out to do commentary. Rave breaks up a tag attempt to do some double teaming as Hancock talks about Kidman looking good to her. Somehow Torrie hears this despite being twenty feet away and gets in Hancock’s face but nothing comes of it. Kidman dropkicks Lane out of the air as everything breaks down. Booker’s kicks put Lane down and he goes up for the missile dropkick but Kidman rolls Lane up for the pin instead.
Curt Hennig vs. Total Package
Before Curt comes to the ring, Hogan returns in the ambulance. Oh dear, oh dear. It’s a brawl to start with Hennig sending Luger into the buckle a few times and scoring with a running knee lift. A shot with the cast drops Luger but here’s Flair for the DQ. I see this is another one of those wrestling shows minus the wrestling.
Post match Hogan (with two good shoulders) comes in for the save and wants a tag match tonight.
Vampiro is in the boiler room or whatever they’re ripping off this week and broods about how much he hates Jeff Jarrett. Tonight, Jeff can’t run and hide from this freak.
Brian Knobbs is looking for the Dog and finds him drinking from a toilet.
More Spring Break Out stuff.
The tag match is set for tonight.
Nitro Girls.
Sid is ready for Jarrett on Sunday. Powerbombs are promised.
Norman Smiley vs. The Dog
Dog has a hood on his head to calm him down so Norman comes up behind him for the spanking dance. Knobbs goes after Norman until the Demon comes out to even things up, Lane and Rave come out to take out Demon, and Norman makes the Dog tap to the Norman’s Conquest. This took about a minute total.
Knobbs says he’s hardcore and wants a fight with anyone right now.
Brian Knobbs vs. Terry Funk
Brian meets him with a trashcan shot as Funk gets in before a second puts Funk right back outside. Funk comes back by crashing some trashcan lids over Knobbs’ head before they fight into the crowd. Back in and they fight over a trashcan by lifting it into the air with both guys pulling it down onto the other’s head over and over. This brings out Evan and Shannon from 3 Count (Shane is still injured from earlier) to knock Brian out with the Hardcore Title to give Terry the pin.
Terry comes back in with the chicken to clean house (because that’s still a thing) but Dustin Rhodes runs out with the bullrope (because that’s still a thing) to lay out Funk.
Finlay is going to beat up Vampiro in their hardcore match on Sunday. That’s Vampiro’s reward for all his main event stuff because the US Title is being held hostage by the NWO. Again.
Vampiro/Sid Vicious vs. Harris Twins
Sid pounds on Don in the corner to start but the Twins quickly take over on Vampiro with Don getting two off a side slam. Ron charges into a spinning kick in the corner but the Twins cheat to stay in control. Vampiro is all like “whatever. Raven never said BRING IT ON so why should I?” The H Bomb puts Vampiro down but Sid tagged himself in to powerbomb Don for the pin.
Rating: D. So again, Vampiro is just kind of there as the rest of the boring people do their thing. To be fair, it’s not like Vampiro ever had a chance to do anything in the main event scene because he’s young and has flashes of charisma, meaning he had to be crushed at the soonest possible opportunity.
More Spring Break Out stuff because this is supposed to be interesting. I love how WCW insisted that everything had to be live but 3 Count is at these things so they’re not even trying to hide it here.
Flair and Luger are ready for tonight’s main event.
Stevie Ray vs. Disco Inferno
We cut to the back where the Harris Twins are beating up the Mamalukes to make Disco come out here alone. Not knowing this, Disco says the Mamalukes will put the belts on the line against any two members of Harlem Heat right now. Disco thinks he has the night off but Big T. and Cash disagree. Stevie drapes Disco over the top and kicks him in the face to start as Disco shouts for the Mamalukes to come save him. Back in and Disco grabs a swinging neckbreaker but Stevie Slapjacks him down for the easy pin. I’m not sure what the point of this was but it did fill in five minutes.
Hogan and Hennig are ready for the main event as well.
Team Package vs. Curt Hennig/Hulk Hogan
Team Package bail to the floor to start until it’s off to Hogan vs. Luger. Hogan wins a slugout in the corner as a big WWF sign can be seen over their heads. There are the running clotheslines and it’s off to Hennig as Madden talks about the power of adrenaline. Flair comes in as well to trade chops in the corner but is quickly sent to the floor for a chair shot from Hulk. We settle down to Luger vs. Hennig as I’m sure someone is bringing up Wrestlemania IX.
Luger finally kicks Hogan in the face to take over and it’s time for Flair to come in and chop Hogan because he never learns. To be fair though, that’s Flair in a nutshell: the chops to Hogan/Sting never work, the top rope chop barely ever works and he almost never wins a big match with the Figure Four, so he tries them every night because THIS TIME FOR SURE!
Luger cheats to keep control but Hogan hits his half of a double clothesline to put both guys down. Hennig gets the hot tag and everything breaks down with the good guys (well as good as Hogan can be) taking over. Hogan gets a bit too overzealous though and shoves the referee down for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Not the worst main event tag in the world but the ending left a bit to be desired. Hennig isn’t even on the card on Sunday, which would seem to make him the perfect (see what I did there?) choice to take the fall here. I don’t hate the idea of having a DQ ending, but it wouldn’t have hurt to have a clean(ish) ending here.
Liz hits Hogan in the knee with the ball bat (Madden: “She swings pretty good for a girl.”) and Team Package hammers away, only to have the lights go out and…..it’s Vampiro? Oh and Sting too, as he brawls with Luger in the aisle and ring to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Well, they’re getting better. It’s still not a good show most of the time but the cruiserweight match was fun and gave the show a lot more energy than usual. Getting past Uncensored should do them a lot of good but there are still a ton of issues with this promotion, especially all the really bad hardcore brawls that last all of a minute and come off as a big waste of time instead of anything interesting. Sunday is going to be rough but I don’t think it can actually be less interesting than what we’ve been sitting through recently.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1997: The Most Important Botch Of All Time
Summerslam 1997 Date: August 3, 1997
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 20,213
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon, Jim Ross
We’re in a very different era now as the WWF has finally realized they needed to step things up against WCW. The result was the rise of Steve Austin in his war against the Hart Foundation. Tonight we have a main event of the now heel Bret challenging Undertaker for the world title with Shawn as guest referee along with the match that changed the wrestling world forever. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Star Spangled Banner which isn’t done often enough on PPV broadcasts.
The opening video talks about how heroes aren’t forever with a focus on Bret going from the top of the world to America’s public enemy #1 and Undertaker having to deal with a nightmare from his past.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Mankind
This is in a cage match and the continuation of a great feud. HHH beat Mankind to win the King of the Ring but had to cheat to do it, sending Mankind after revenge. You can only win by escape which I always like. Mankind is also one half of the tag team champions as Dude Love at this point. Helmsley dives for the door but Mankind makes an easy save. He pulls HHH off the cage wall and pounds HHH down into the corner. The running knee into HHH’s head gives us a BANG BANG as this is one sided so far.
A Texas Piledriver puts HHH down but Mankind says close the door. There’s the Mandible Claw but Chyna reaches through the bars to break it up. HHH can’t get going though as a discus lariat puts him right back down. Mankind tries to climb out but Chyna hits him in the leg, allowing Helmsley to superplex him down from the top of the cage in a big spot. Instead of leaving though HHH sends Mankind HARD into the cage and gives us a little curtsey.
More whipping into the cage ensues and HHH pounds away on Mankind’s head. You could see the mean streak starting in HHH years before it really came out. The cage is especially loud tonight which makes the shots into it sound far more brutal. HHH goes up but gets caught by the head and dragged back inside. A hard kick to the side of the head puts HHH down but Chyna interferes AGAIN with a forearm to the head. Mankind comes back with a pair of atomic drops but he walks into the facebuster to stop the momentum again.
In a creative move Mankind suplexes HHH against the cage, causing his the future Game’s legs to hang over the top. A running knee to HHH’s upside down chest brings him down and it’s time to taste the cage. HHH catches Mankind charging in with a backdrop into the cage and they both climb to the top rope. Mankind wins a slugout by crotching HHH but the landing knocks Mankind off the ropes too.
HHH’s leg is tied in the ropes but Chyna slams the door on his head to make ANOTHER save. Now she rams the referee into the steps and throws a chair in to HHH. Mankind blocks a Pedigree onto the chair and catapults HHH into the cage, knocking Chyna down to the floor. A double arm DDT onto the chair puts HHH down but Mankind can’t follow up.
Chyna comes inside and tries to drag HHH out as Mankind climbs over the top. He gets down to the apron and takes off his mask but climbs back up. The fans chant SUPERFLY as Mankind goes up, rips open his shirt to reveal a Dude Love heart, and drops an elbow off the top of the cage. Mankind climbs out and reaches the floor just before Chyna can drag HHH out to the floor.
Rating: A-. This was great stuff with Mankind overcoming everything HHH and Chyna could throw at him before hitting the huge spot to win it. There was a very good story built up between these two which would finally be blown off in a street fight at the first Raw in MSG. Great opener here and the fans were WAY into it. You could see the future in these two and it was awesome.
Post match Mankind collapses on the floor next to the cage. The Dude Love music starts playing and Mankind’s foot starts tapping. He gets up and struts to the back as Dude. The Foley character really was brilliant as he wasn’t playing three different characters but rather one with multiple personalities. That’s awesome when you think about it.
Call the Hotline!
Todd Pettingill (he still had a job at this point?) brings out the governor along with Gorilla Monsoon and the Headbangers for some reason. She got rid of some entertainment tax on wrestling shows to allow the first show in New Jersey since the 80s. Gorilla gives her a WWF Championship belt as a thank you present.
We recap Goldust vs. Brian Pillman….which is to say we hear about the stipulation: if Pillman loses he has to wear a dress until he wins again.
Video on the local festivities leading up to Summerslam.
Goldust vs. Brian Pillman
Goldust is a face by this point. Pillman jumps him to start but Goldust hits a jumping back elbow out of the corner. He pounds on Brian in the corner and kisses him to the floor but Pillman is ticked off. Brian drops Goldust with a clothesline and goes after Malena, only to be headed off by Goldie with an uppercut. Back in and Pillman takes him down with a snap suplex but Goldust crotches him off the top.
Marlena blows cigar smoke in Pillman’s face, causing him to hide behind her and sucker Goldust into a DDT on the floor. A top rope forearm/clothesline gets two for Brian and we hit the chinlock. Pillman looks INSANE which fits the Loose Canon character very well. Back up and a clothesline puts Goldust down for two but Goldie hits one of his own to stagger Pillman. They slug it out with a double fist to the face putting Brian down. The bulldog is blocked and Goldie falls to the outside. He tries a sunset flip as he comes back in and a purse shot from Marlena is enough to pin Pillman.
Rating: D. The match sucked for the most part with no real flow to it at all. This was a long running feud which was supposed to end with Marlena leaving Goldust for Pillman but Brian would be dead in about two months to prevent that from happening. It’s a shame he was so banged up that he never got to realize his potential due to his injuries.
There’s a new attendance record for a WWF event in this arena.
Godwinns vs. Legion of Doom
The Godwinns are in Deliverance mode at this point and the LOD are done with the war against the Hart Foundation and in need of a good feud. Unfortunately there wasn’t a good team for them to feud with so we’re stuck with the Godwinns. Henry had his neck broken in a Doomsday Device months ago, prompting an attack on the LOD. The LOD has sworn revenge to set this up.
The LOD are actually referred to as Road Warriors here which is rare for the WWF. LOD cleans house to start, sending the Godwinns to the floor with Hawk hitting a clothesline off the apron. We get started with Phineas vs. Animal with the latter missing a charge into the corner, allowing the hog dudes to double team him. Animal comes back with a double clothesline of his own to send the Godwinns to the floor.
Off to Henry vs. Hawk with Henry trying to hurt Hawk’s neck as a receipt. Hawk sends him into the steps before dropping some legs for two back inside. Back to Phineas for a hangman’s choke on Hawk to no avail. Animal comes back in to work Henry’s arm before a Cactus clothesline from Animal puts both guys on the floor. Henry knocks Animal into the barricade as they come back in to shift momentum. Lou Albano is in the front row.
Back in and Phineas puts Animal in a bearhug as the crowd gets hot all over again. As the hold continues, Lawler talks about Blue Ball, Arkansas. I really don’t have a joke there but you have to mention that name. Animal breaks free but Henry breaks up the hot tag attempt. Phineas goes up but jumps into a clothesline and now we get the hot tag off to Hawk. House is cleaned as everything breaks down but Phineas breaks up the Doomsday Device on Henry. Not that it matters as the LOD hit a spike piledriver on a guy recovering from a broken neck for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was supposed to be about revenge but the match never acted like that at all. The Godwinns were horrible as heels and this was a very dull match as a result. LOD still had a little bit in the tank here but they were going to explode in the next few months but almost no one cared.
We get clips of fans winning a contest for a shot at a million bucks. The fans are here and get to pick a key to try to open Undertaker’s casket which contains cash. Two more fans are called but one isn’t home and the other is disconnected. We finally get through to someone but nobody wins. Sunny’s cleavage looked GREAT though.
We recap British Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock which is another spinoff from the Border War. Bulldog was about to lose an arm wrestling match on Monday so he laid Shamrock out with a chair and shoved dog food down his throat.
European Title: Ken Shamrock vs. British Bulldog
Bulldog (defending) has agreed to eat dog food if he loses, but we see a graphic for Bulldog vs. Shawn at One Night Only for the European Title, which foreshadows things a little bit. It’s a power match to start until Shamrock hits a wicked belly to belly, sending Bulldog to the floor. Back in and Shamrock takes him down by the leg but Bulldog is quickly into the ropes. A hard clothesline gets two for Ken but Bulldog gets a boot up in the corner and takes over.
The delayed suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. The fans chant USA as this hold just keeps going. This is one of those matches that goes on for less than eight minutes but needs to have a fourth of it spent in a chinlock. A small package gets two for the champion and it’s back to the chinlock. Shamrock is sent shoulder first into the post and out to the floor where he comes back with some right hands. Back in and Bulldog pounds away even more and Shamrock is bleeding from the mouth. We hit the third chinlock before going back to the floor for Bulldog to hit him in the face with dogfood. Shamrock snaps and it’s a DQ.
Rating: D. This didn’t do anything for me at all. The match was only seven and a half minutes and we had three chinlocks and two trips to the floor. Shamrock wasn’t ready for a long match yet and Bulldog wasn’t capable of carrying anyone at this point. Nothing to see here but it was just leftovers from the summer anyway.
Post match Shamrock chokes Bulldog out for a VERY long time, to the point where Bulldog would be dead. The referees get suplexes.
Shawn Michaels says he’ll be a fair referee and there’s nothing between him and Bret.
Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse
This is the Puerto Rican gang vs. the bikers as GANG WARZ continue. Vince calls this an eight man tag because he doesn’t care enough about any of these guys. These guys feuded FOREVER and I don’t remember the bikers ever winning a match in the feud. Savio Vega and Crush are the respective leaders and the rest are pretty interchangeable other than Chainz being the only other biker with hair.
It’s a brawl to start of course and the bikers clear the ring. Skull starts with Jose and the big man throws him around with ease. Off to 8 Ball who hits a spinning sidewalk slam before bringing in Crush. Miguel comes in but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for no cover. Back to Skull and 8 Ball (identical twins) to crush Miguel in the corner until Savio cheats to take over. All four Boricuas pound on Skull in the corner until the Nation of Domination (now with Ahmed Johnson) comes down to ringside, basically stopping the match cold.
Jesus hits a Fameasser on Skull to set up another four on one beatdown. We hit a chinlock but 8 Ball breaks it up to prevent further boredom. Skull finally gets over for the tag and everything breaks down. Chainz is sent to the floor and punches Ahmed who responds with a sitout powerbomb on the concrete, giving Miguel an easy pin in the ring.
Rating: D-. Oh man this was dull to sit through. Los Boricuas just weren’t interesting at all and other than Savio they easily could have been interchanged with one another. The bikers weren’t much better but at least you could remember which was which. I guess the idea here was to appeal to a wider fanbase but it didn’t do anything for me.
A 12 man brawl follows.
We recap Austin vs. Owen. Hart is Intercontinental Champion and pinned Austin in the ten man tag main event of Canadian Stampede. Tonight is their one on one showdown and if Austin loses he has to kiss up to Owen shall we say. Think Vince’s special club.
Intercontinental Title: Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart
Owen takes him down by the knee and wraps it around the ring post right after the bell. Back in and Austin fires off right hands and hits the Thesz press before hitting the HARD whip into the corner ala Bret. Austin pulls him around by the hair and stomps the stomach for two. Back up and Austin works the arm with a wristlock as the fans chant USA. Owen does his spinning nip up to counter but Steve casually pokes him in the eye.
Back to the armbar followed by a hammerlock slam to stay on the arm. Owen finally comes back with a jumping elbow to send Austin to the floor. He goes into the post and steps as well before going after Austin’s arm and fingers. Austin is tied in the ropes so Owen can stay on the fingers but Steve busts out a Stun Gun and a powerbomb of all things. A clothesline puts Owen on the floor again and he starts heading to the back. That would mean Austin having to pucker up so the fight continues in the aisle.
Back in and Owen takes over with a quick belly to belly and a neckbreaker for two. A top rope elbow gets two for Hart and we hit the neck crank. Austin fights back and tries a Sharpshooter but Owen goes back to the injured neck to take over again. A German suplex gets two on Austin and it’s off to a camel clutch. Owen lets it go but gets two off a DDT and hooks a chinlock. Austin gets up and they trade sleepers with Austin escaping via a jawbreaker. Hart gets two off a Russian legsweep and it’s back to the chinlock. Owen gets caught cheating and they get up again and then it happens.
Austin tries a tombstone but Owen reverses into one of his own and drops Austin on his head. This is the move that changed wrestling forever as Austin’s neck was pretty much destroyed, resulting in him completely changing his in ring style. Instead of being the well rounded wrestler that he was before, he was forced to create the Attitude Era brawling style which made millions upon millions upon millions of dollars and made Austin one of the biggest stars of all time. On top of that it required a year off for surgery but that wouldn’t come until 1999.
Anyway Austin is temporarily paralyzed so Owen can’t cover him. Hart walks around the ring shouting that Austin is done while Hebner tries to figure out what to do. Austin can move his limbs a bit as Owen tries to start a Canada chant. Austin rolls onto his stomach and in one of the toughest and dumbest moments in wrestling history, he gets the worst rollup of all time for the pin and the title before collapsing again.
Rating: B. Most famous wrestling injury of all time aside, this was a very solid match with both guys clicking very well. I’m assuming Austin was to win with the Stunner as otherwise Owen would have gotten a quick pin and gotten out of there. Austin was clearly going to be the next big thing but no one knew if he would ever walk again let alone wrestle after this match.
Austin can barely move but manages to sit up, only to fall over again. He can’t even stand up right now. Some referees get him to his feet and Austin holds up the title to a BIG pop. It takes a bunch of people to get him to the back and his legs are VERY wobbly.
We recap Bret vs. Undertaker. It’s a very basic idea: Bret was the top heel over the summer and Taker was just kind of around as world champion. Bret says if he doesn’t win the title, he’ll never wrestle in America again. Shawn Michaels is guest referee because he’s the other top guy in the company.
We get the full Canadian national anthem before Taker’s entrance.
WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart
Remember that Shawn is guest referee. Bret hits Undertaker in the back with the belt to start and pounds away but Undertaker throws him away and out to the floor. The champion misses a charge into the post and is sent knees first into the steps by the Canadian. Bret tries to jump off the apron at Taker but is caught in midair and slammed into the post. Back in and Undertaker works on Bret’s back before sending him into the corner a few times.
Off to a bearhug on Hart followed by a big boot to the face, but Taker misses a legdrop. A second big boot misses though and Bret goes after the knee. Hart cannonballs down onto Taker’s knee and kicks the leg out from under the 6’10 champion. As a small sidebar, Vince says that you’re not 6’10 when you’re on the mat. I’m pretty sure he still is actually, but he just can’t use that height advantage.
Hart cranks on the leg even more and puts on the Figure Four for good measure. This brings out Paul Bearer for some reason which angers the champion. Undertaker turns the hold over to escape before going after Bearer. Bret uses the distraction to jump Undertaker from behind and send him into the barricade. There’s the Figure Four around the post by Bret as he stays on Taker’s leg. Owen Hart and Brian Pillman of the Hart Foundation come out to ringside.
Taker’s leg is wrapped around another post and Bret flips off a yelling fan. Shawn hasn’t been a factor as referee yet. Back in and Bret puts on another leg lock but Taker rolls it over and uses the good leg to kick Bret in the face. With no provocation, Undertaker drops to the floor and beats up Owen and Pillman. Back in and there’s the chokeslam but Shawn is watching for more Harts. Bret heads to the floor and rams Undertaker’s back into the apron and post to take over again.
Shawn tells Bret to get back inside or the match is over. They head into the ring again with Bret getting two off a backbreaker. A suplex puts Undertaker down again and there’s the middle rope elbow for two. Bret hits a DDT for the same but Undertaker drops him face first onto the turnbuckle for two of his own. Hart goes after the back again but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. The chokeslam is countered with a kick to the leg but Undertaker hits an uppercut to put Bret down.
Undertaker hits his jumping clothesline to take over again before whipping Bret chest first into the buckle for two. Bret tries to go up but gets chokeslammed down off the top for a close two. Old School is countered and Bret superplexes Undertaker down but he can’t cover. Instead he puts on the Sharpshooter but Undertaker kicks him away, which is the first time the hold has been completely broken. Another clothesline puts Bret down but he escapes the Tombstone and puts on the Sharpshooter around the post in a new move. Taker kicks him off and he crushes Shawn in the process though.
Bret brings a chair into the ring and lays out Undertaker with no Michaels to see it. Shawn limps back into the ring but the count only gets two. Bret erupts on Shawn and flips him off before pounding away in the corner again. Shawn picks up the chair and is spat on by Bret. Shawn swings the chair but knocks Undertaker out cold, giving Bret the pin and the title.
Rating: B+. This took a lot of time to get going but with thirty minutes to use they had more than enough time to waste. Hart winning was definitely the right move after he spent all summer on top of the company. This opened up a lot more options than Taker was providing, which is what a champion is supposed to do.
Post match Undertaker is FURIOUS and goes after Shawn. The Hart Foundation celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This isn’t the worst show in the world but there’s nothing to see here other than the last two matches and the opener. Those matches take up a lot of the card but the rest of the stuff is just dreadful. This set up a lot of important stuff, ranging from the first Hell in a Cell to Kane to Montreal to Shawn breaking his back, but there’s a very clear line between the good stuff and the bad stuff.
Ratings Comparison
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Mankind
Original: A
Redo: A-
Brian Pillman vs. Goldust
Original: D
Redo: D
Legion of Doom vs. Godwinns
Original: C-
Redo: D
British Bulldog vs. Ken Shamrock
Original: D-
Redo: D
Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Los Boricuas
Original: D
Redo: D-
Owen Hart vs. Steve Austin
Original: B
Redo: B
Undertaker vs. Bret Hart
Original: A
Redo: B+
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: C+
About the same other than the world title and the overall rating which doesn’t surprise me. That’s the kind of show this is.
Summerslam 1996 Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect
Things have changed quite a bit since last year. For one thing, the NWO currently has its foot on the WWF’s neck but no one knew how bad it was going to get. Shawn was pretty much tanking as champion but he’s still defending tonight against Vader. The major match though is Undertaker vs. Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl which has the potential to be awesome. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show match is kind of famous so I’ll throw it in as a bonus.
Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna
Austin is fresh off winning the King of the Ring and cutting the promo that made him famous. Yoko is so fat it’s terrifying at this point. Austin still has very slow music here which sounds like it belongs in a romantic drama. He goes right after the big man to start but a single right hand puts Steve down. A double middle finger earns Austin a Samoan drop and a legdrop. Yoko loads up the Banzai Drop and the freaking ring breaks with Yoko falling down to the mat, giving Austin an easy pin.
The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.
Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
Owen has a broken arm/wrist coming in. Feeling out process to start with the referee warning Owen about using the cast. Savio does the smart thing by ramming the bad arm into the buckle to take over. We hit an armbar as we cut to Vader’s locker room to see Cornette firing him up. A monkey flip and a dropkick put Owen down and it’s back to the armbar. Owen kicks out of a rollup and sends Savio shoulder first into the post as momentum changes all of a sudden.
Off to a wristlock on Vega as the match is still waiting to get off the ground. Owen puts on a long armbar followed by a DDT on the arm for two. Vega bites his way out of the hold as the crowd is dead quiet for this. Owen charges into a boot and here’s Clarence Mason, a lawyer, to watch the match. An enziguri puts Vega down for two and a few rollups get the same for Savio.
Hart takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Savio comes back with right hands and clotheslines. Owen’s missile dropkick gets two as the crowd is into this all of a sudden. Hart is crotched on another top rope attempt but Savio lands on the cast in his belly to back superplex. Owen slips off the cast and lays out Savio (with the referee looking right at him), setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.
Rating: C. This took awhile to get going and could have shaved off five minutes or so. Savio was nothing special at all and Owen was in a transitional phase of his career as he was trying to become a singles guy but wasn’t ready to do it yet. The match wasn’t bad and picked way up but the ending was lame.
Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.
Todd Petingill is in the boiler room and finds Mankind licking a pipe and saying there’s no place like home.
Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns
The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.
A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.
Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.
We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.
Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.
Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.
Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.
Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.
Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog
Sid is just back after being out for about six months with an injury. He’s part of Shawn’s war with Camp Cornette, making this a lower level battle in the feud. The fans are WAY into Sid here which makes his title reigns a lot more understandable. Neither guy goes anywhere on some collisions until Sid slams him down to the floor. A LOUD Let’s Go Sid chant starts up, giving us more interest than the entire tag title match had combined.
Bulldog tries to power out of a headlock as the announcers talk about Mason being out here instead of Cornette again. A powerslam gets two for Sid but Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex. That’s some impressive power, especially on a guy that tall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bulldog clotheslines Sid to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines him down again and flips forward to entertain us while Sid is down. Back to the chinlock before Bulldog hits the powerslam clean, but here’s Cornette to argue with Mason. Another powersam is countered into the chokeslam and an AWESOME powerbomb is good for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was better than you would think with both guys’ power stuff looking good. That powerbomb was great as Bulldog just stopped once he hit the mat and the selling was even better. Sid is just scary over at this point, which made his heel turn all the better. To be fair though, the fans just wouldn’t boo the guy even when he was a heel. Take that for what you will.
The managers keep arguing post match.
Video on Shawn.
Goldust vs. Marc Mero
Marlena and Sable are the seconds here and Goldust has a thing for the latter. Goldust takes him into the corner and rubs his own chest before slapping Mero in the face. Some armdrags take Goldie down and he hides in the corner. They run the ropes a bit with Mero getting two off a cross body and hooking an armbar. The crowd is dead again so the announcers talk about Ahmed Johnson’s kidney injury.
Back up and Goldust backdrops Mero out to the floor before dropping him throat first across the barricade. Goldust hooks a chinlock and here’s Mankind who has been calling Sable mommy lately. Some referees chase him off a few seconds later, making this your pointless cameo of the show. A knee to the ribs puts Mero down for two but he comes off the middle rope with a back elbow to the jaw.
A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.
Rating: D. Another dull match here other than the Shooting Star. Goldust was all thought and character but little in the area of substance in the ring. The crowd was dead again here other than for the Wild Thing which was by far the most exciting thing in the match. There wasn’t much to see here but as was the case back then, a lot of matches on PPV were filler.
Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.
We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.
Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.
Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.
Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.
Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.
Bob Backlund campaigns for President.
Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.
Undertaker vs. Mankind
This is the Boiler Room Brawl, meaning the fight starts in the boiler room and you win by fighting to the ring and getting the Urn from Bearer. Taker goes into the room where Mankind is hiding somewhere. This is bordering on creepy as Taker is looking through the shadows to find Mankind but only finds machines. Mankind sneaks up on him with a pipe to the back as the fight begins. Keep in mind that the people in the arena are seeing this on TV screens as there’s no Titantron yet.
Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.
Taker finds a pipe to knock the can into Mankind’s face but Mankind turns a valve to shoot steam into Taker’s face. A clothesline sends the can into Mankind’s face and the slow brawling continues. Taker hits him in the face with a wooden pallet but Mankind hits Taker low with a pipe of some kind. Mankind sends him into a wall and hits the running knee to drive Taker’s head into the wall again. An elbow off a ladder keeps Taker down and Mankind drags him along the floor.
The camera goes out again and the audience boos. Back with Undertaker laid out on the floor and Mankind setting up a ladder next to him. Mankind climbs up and in the best remembered spot of the match, Undertaker sits up and pulls him down onto a pile of pipes. Back up and Mankind goes for the door but Undertaker grabs him by the ankle. A fire extinguisher blast to the face puts Mankind down and it’s Undertaker out the door first. Mankind rams him into the door and gets out, only to fall in the aisle.
With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.
A Texas piledriver onto the concrete knocks Undertaker out cold but he sits up just in time to pull Mankind off the apron, slamming the back of his head into the concrete. Undertaker gets inside and gets on one knee in front of Paul but Bearer won’t give him the Urn. Mankind gets in and knocks Taker out with the Claw before Bearer does the unthinkable by turning on Undertaker and giving Mankind the Urn.
Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it was VERY long (nearly half an hour) and was unlike any other match up to this point. This match would have killed in the Attitude Era but here it’s just quite good. Bearer turning was shocking as he had managed Undertaker for nearly six years and I don’t think anyone believed he would ever turn on Undertaker.
Druids come out to carry Undertaker to the back. He’d be back the next night like nothing happened.
Camp Cornette is ready for Shawn Michaels. Cornette: “When Vader grabs you by the neck Shawn Michaels, you’re going to sound like Peter Frampton’s electric kazoo.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???
WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels
Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.
Back in and a standing hurricanrana takes Vader down and a victory roll sends him back out to the floor. Shawn’s plancha into a hurricanrana is caught in a powerbomb and momentum changes in a hurry. Vader puts him on his shoulder and carries Shawn up the steps with one arm in a very impressive power display. A big suplex puts Shawn down again and Mr. Perfect gloats a lot. Shawn is sent into a Flair Flip in the corner and another whip sends him out to the floor.
Vader pounds away back inside but Shawn comes back with rights and lefts of his own. He can’t drop Vader though and a hard clothesline takes Shawn down again. Shawn tries to skin the cat but Vader pulls him back in and hits a kind of reverse jackknife for two. Off to a modified bearhug on the champion for a few moments until Shawn fights back with a running knee to the chest. Vader blocks a sunset flip but his jumping seated senton hits knees.
A hard clothesline puts Vader down and we get a semi-famous spot as Shawn goes up but aborts the elbow in mid flight, instead hitting a flying stomp. He throws a fit and yells at Vader before a cross body puts both guys on the floor. Vader drops Shawn throat first across the barricade…..for a countout win? Seriously? Female fan: “NO! NO! NO!” Cornette agrees because he wants to win the title by pin instead of countout.
Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.
The third part of the match begins (Cornette, WE DON’T WANT IT THAT WAY, ring the bell again) with Shawn avoiding another seated senton and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music only gets two and the referee is knocked to the floor. Vader hits the powerbomb and a second referee comes in to count two. Cornette is stunned as Vader goes up, only to miss the moonsault. Shawn goes up top and hits a moonsault press to retain the title.
Rating: B+. I’ve only seen this match once or twice and it really holds up. Shawn was in his element here against a monster and he capitalized on Vader’s greed for the title to finally beat him. The problem was the people didn’t care about Shawn until he got in the ring which made him a hard sell for the fans. Still though, excellent match here.
Overall Rating: C. Well the last two matches are both good to great, but it takes awhile to get there. Thankfully for the show those matches take up over an hour of the card and help things out a lot. Unfortunately the NWO was running roughshod on the wrestling world at this point so the good matches here didn’t mean much at all. This wasn’t one of the stronger entries in the series though.
Ratings Comparison
Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
Original: B+
Redo: C
Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns
Original: B-
Redo: D-
British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid
Original: D
Redo: D+
Marc Mero vs. Goldust
Original: C+
Redo: D
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Original: C-
Redo: D
Mankind vs. Undertaker
Original: A-
Redo: B
Vader vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A-
Redo: B+
Overall Rating
Original: A
Redo: C
Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.
Monday Night Raw – August 3, 2015: Let’s Get Rowdy
Monday Night Raw Date: August 3, 2015
Location: SAP Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We have less than three weeks to go until Summerslam and the big question is whether or not John Cena will be able to breathe well enough to challenge Seth Rollins for the World Title. Rollins broke Cena’s nose last week to put him on the shelf, but tonight is all about Brock Lesnar, who is back to address the issues with Undertaker from two weeks ago. Let’s get to it.
As you might expect, this show is dedicated to Rowdy Roddy Piper and we get a ten bell salute with the roster on stage in Hot Rod shirts.
We see the Piper tribute video, set to a song about never taking your life for granted.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Seth Rollins, in a NEVER SHUTS UP shirt to mock Cena, with something to say. Rollins says he’s the only person that can slow himself down but he has a problem with sympathy. Last week he destroyed John Cena’s nose and if a picture is worth 1000 words, then this video is priceless. We see the knee to the nose from last week (that’s four times tonight) and hear a THANK YOU ROLLINS chant from the crowd.
Rollins didn’t feel bad about what happened because he’ll break more noses down the line. However, it’s the first time he broke the nose of the face that runs this place. We see some post show pictures of Cena’s nose and my goodness it looks awful. As soon as Rollins saw that, he knew that it was time to stop the match and award him the US Title, but Cena took advantage of the sympathy and stole a win.
That will never happen again, so Rollins has a proposition for Cena: one more match at Summerslam, title for title. If Cena doesn’t accept, Cena should just forfeit the title to Rollins, who promises to walk out with the belt anyway. As for tonight, San Jose is the place to be. “Not because of any of you. It’s because I’m here.” This is the place where John Cena held his first US Open Challenge, but everyone knows Rollins can do anything Cena does even better, so let’s have a WWE World Heavyweight Championship Open Challenge…….now.
After a break, Jojo is in the ring to ask Rollins about the open challenge. There are two rules to this challenge: the opponent must be under 6’0 and under 200lbs. Therefore, the only option is El Torito. Torito’s music starts playing but that’s not who comes out.
WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Neville
The fans are behind Neville as he spins out of a wristlock to start. Neville flips over him in the corner and Seth gets caught in the running hurricanrana but is smart enough to roll away before the Red Arrow can launch. Instead it’s a cross body to put Rollins on the floor and a huge corkscrew dive to take him out as we go to a break. Back with the champion in control and getting two off a running clothesline.
Off to a chinlock for a bit before Neville comes back by superkicking Rolling out of the air. A German suplex off the ropes followed by a dropkick get another two, followed by the delayed German for a third straight near fall. The Pedigree is countered into a rollup for a two so close that the fans gasp at the kickout.
Seth goes up top but Neville is right there with a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Red Arrow for three but Rollins had a foot on the ropes. Dang these are some hot near falls. JBL has the right idea: “COVER HIM AGAIN!” Neville takes his sweet time before going up again and only hits the mat. The Pedigree retains Rollins’ title at 13:16.
Rating: B-. This is the kind of match that Rollins needed after last week’s loss. It’s no classic or anything but Rollins won clean over a guy he should have beaten. Neville loses nothing by getting pinned and Rollins gets a good looking win. What more can you possibly ask for in a TV match?
New Day/Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons/Los Matadores
Rematch from Smackdown with the Prime Time Players on commentary again. Los Matadores double team Kofi to start and a springboard flip dive gets two for Diego. Viktor comes in and kicks Diego to the floor and we go to a break. Back with Diego getting dropkicked down for two before it’s off to Viktor for a jumping knee to the face. Diego dives over for the hot tag to Sin Cara as everything breaks down. Cara hits a bunch of dives to the floor and Kalisto gets two on Kofi off a high cross body. Xavier kicks Torito away but the distraction lets Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin on Kalisto at 8:24.
Rating: D+. Why do I bother watching Smackdown? They did the same match on Smackdown but for some reason this one matters more. I’m guessing we get New Day vs. Prime Time Players for a third straight pay per view because Kalisto rolling Viktor up on Smackdown to win the same match doesn’t count.
Bella Twins vs. Charlotte/Becky Lynch
In pre-match video inserts, the Bellas say the Divas Revolution started when Nikki won the Divas Title and Charlotte/Becky/Paige dub themselves the Submission Sorority. I’ve heard worse names and at least it’s not Team “Insert Name Here”. Becky takes over on Brie to start before it’s off to Charlotte vs. Nikki with the champ coming in off a blind tag. They trade front facelocks until Charlotte grabs a cravate.
A Figure Eight attempt is countered and Nikki pulls Charlotte off the middle rope for two. Brie comes back in for a chinlock but Charlotte fights out (because it’s Brie Bella) and tags in Becky to clean house. The Disarm-Her has Brie in trouble until a rope is grabbed and Nikki takes Becky down as we go to a break.
Back with Becky fighting out of Nikki’s chinlock but walking into a facebuster for two. Brie stomps away in the corner (thank goodness she stopped doing the lame attempts at YES Kicks) and gets two of her own off a bulldog. Becky fights out of a chinlock and makes the tag to Charlotte, who runs over Nikki with a neckbreaker and spear. Everything breaks down and Nikki plants Charlotte with a spinebuster for two. Charlotte gets right back up though and the Figure Eight makes Nikki tap at 13:14.
Rating: C. I really don’t like it when WWE wastes my time. I’d assume this sets up Charlotte’s title shot at Summerslam, where I’d bet quite heavily that Nikki retains through shenanigans to get to the middle of September and the record because Heaven forbid a current WWE Diva doesn’t hold a record that the fans only care about because Cole and company keep telling us about it.
Team Bad isn’t pleased with all the attention Paige is getting so tonight it’s Paige vs. Naomi. Naomi even throws in an insult to Ronda Rousey for claiming that she’s the baddest woman on the planet. Something tells me that’s not going anywhere, but my goodness it would be entertaining if it did.
It’s time for MizTV with Miz in a Hot Rod shirt and a kilt. Before he gets going, Miz says that there wouldn’t be a MizTV, a Heartbreak Hotel, a Highlight Reel or any other talk show without the original Piper’s Pit, because Piper was the best ever at this and he’ll be missed. Here here Miz.
After a legitimately cool moment, Miz talks about his accomplishments and describes himself as on fire right now. That brings him to his guests tonight: two men who have also been on fire recently: Cesaro and Kevin Owens. Kevin is out first and sucks up to Miz a bit by saying he owns all of Miz’s movies on DVD. Before Cesaro can get much further though, here is Cesaro in a suit to interrupt.
Miz makes sure Cesaro isn’t here for a fight but Cesaro says he’s just here to hear what Walk Owens Walk has to say. Kevin gets right to the point: Cesaro is jealous of him because of Owens accomplishing all of the things that Cesaro never could, including beating John Cena. Owens says Cesaro has been whining about missing all those life moments, but no matter what he does, Cesaro will never be better than Owens because Cesaro lacks the love for this business.
Cesaro says the real lack of respect and love is shown every time Owens walks away from a match because it makes Owens an embarrassment. Kevin is ready to fight but says tonight isn’t the right price. “Yeah why don’t you do what you do best and walk Owens walk.” Miz tells Cesaro to go do something but Owens jumps them both from behind, only to run away when Cesaro gets up. Good, solid program building segment here.
We get a clip of Ronda Rousey paying tribute to Roddy Piper after her win on Saturday night.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
Can we just have Henry tap out now and save five minutes? Rusev stomps away in the corner but gets shoved down, only to come back with a dropkick for one. Off to a front facelock from the Russian, followed by a pair of jumping superkicks for the pin at 2:05.
Rusev gives him a third superkick for good measure.
Clip of Swerved.
Bray Wyatt rips the petals off a flower and compares it to Roman Reigns when you rip away everything that the world sees. Roman is no different than anyone else. Harper warned Ambrose but Dean chose wrong. Sheamus comes in and says he’s going to make this short and painful. Bray likes the idea of the enemy of his enemy being his friend.
Zack Ryder vs. King Barrett
Barrett says Ryder is King of the Internet (wasn’t that like three years ago?) but there’s no crown on his head. A knee to the ribs puts Ryder down and it’s off to an early chinlock. Ryder fights up and hits the Broski Boot but Barrett throws him into the buckle to break up the Rough Ryder, setting up the Bull Hammer to give Barrett the pin at 1:56.
Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about the Undertaker attacking Brock Lesnar two weeks back. We see a clip of the end of Battleground, but Heyman says that’s a different Undertaker than we’ve seen running roughshod over the WWE in the last 25 years. Would you ever see the old Undertaker kicking Brock Lesnar in the groin? Of course not, because the old Undertaker wasn’t scared of anything. We see a clip of the brawl from two weeks ago and Heyman brings up the 1 in 22-1 before bringing out Brock himself.
Lesnar doesn’t immediately get in the ring but rather throws some steps inside. With Brock standing on the steps, Heyman has a story to tell us. After the beating last year, Undertaker called Vince McMahon and begged for a rematch with Brock at this year’s Wrestlemania. Vince wisely said no because he knew what would happen the next time the Undertaker faces Brock, leaving Undertaker to do what he did at Battleground this year.
The WWE had to book the match at this point because the match was going to have to happen somewhere. Heyman says this isn’t just the rematch of the year, decade or century. This is the rematch that is bigger than Wrestlemania. Undertaker may look big and bad but he’s going to Suplex City. Last time Undertaker needed a year to recover, but this time he’ll rest in pieces as his career receives last rites at the hands of the conqueror. Heyman had me at that bigger than Wrestlemania line.
Here are the same Cena pictures from earlier tonight.
Paige vs. Naomi
They lock up to start and Paige actually gets a two count out of it. That’s a new idea. Paige takes her into the corner but Naomi catches her in her corner headscissors and shake which does nothing, aside from look stupid of course. A kick to the head gets two for Naomi and it’s time for a chinlock.
That goes nowhere so Naomi bends the ribs around the post and drives Paige back first into the apron. Paige fights out of another chinlock and scores with a fall away slam before sending Naomi face first into the buckle. A kick to the head staggers Paige but Naomi misses a high cross body, allowing Paige to slap on the PTO for the submission at 7:28.
Rating: C. At least Paige got to win something for a change. I like the submissions idea a lot as it fits their characters and adds a new dimension to the Divas instead of their one or two signature moves. Naomi has gotten lost in the shuffle of this whole thing but it’s nice to see her getting some time like this.
Clips of Neville vs. Rollins.
Stardust laughs at Neville for listening to the fans chant ONE MORE TIME and losing earlier.
Roddy Piper tribute video.
Ambrose and Reigns say they’re all out of bubblegum. It’s time to bust some heads and Orton comes in to agree, as long as he gets Sheamus to himself.
Arrow’s Stephen Amell will be here next week.
Luke Harper/Bray Wyatt/Sheamus vs. Randy Orton/Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns
Ambrose and Harper get things going with Dean throwing Luke outside. Everyone else comes in for a brawl and the villains are knocked to the floor, setting up Dean’s big elbow to take us to a break. Back with Reigns taking Sheamus’ head off with a running right hand to take the fight back outside. That goes nowhere so Reigns comes back in and says he wants Wyatt but it’s Harper first. Dean comes in to hammer away in the corner but Harper dropkicks him in the face to get a breather. Now Wyatt is willing to come in and hammer away before knocking Dean off the top and out to the floor for a rare second break.
Back again with Harper and Ambrose trading slams, allowing Dean to make the tag off to Orton for the powerslam to Wyatt. Sheamus takes a right hand as well and Orton counters the Rock Bottom into the backbreaker to put everyone not named Randy down. Harper breaks up the RKO to Bray with the discus lariat before getting dropkicked out to the floor by Dean.
That earns Ambrose a big boot to the face but Reigns takes Harper out, leaving us with Roman vs. Sheamus in the ring. Everything breaks down again and Reigns takes Bray and Sheamus down with apron boots. Both guys get Superman Punches to go with them but it’s Harper again with a superkick to take Roman down. Ambrose tries to dive on Harper but has to fight out of Sister Abigail first. An RKO drops Wyatt and Sheamus eats Reigns’ spear for the pin at 16:25.
Rating: C+. Nice main event tag here with the good guys looking awesome and Harper continuing to show how awesome he can be in the ring by doing things that just aren’t normal for someone his size. This helped set up Summerslam a bit more as you can pretty much guarantee Orton vs. Sheamus and the tag match. Good stuff here.
Overall Rating: C. I liked the show but as is the case so often with Raw, the length took away a lot of the good feelings it had built up. They’re building to what should be a strong Summerslam, but these Raw’s aren’t the easiest to sit through. They just go on too long and whatever they have going is often replaced by thoughts of “let this end already.”
Results
Seth Rollins b. Neville – Pedigree
New Day/Ascension b. Lucha Dragons/Los Matadores – Trouble in Paradise to Kalisto
Charlotte/Becky Lynch b. Bella Twins – Figure Eight to Nikki
Rusev b. Mark Henry – Jumping superkick
King Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Bull Hammer
Paige b. Naomi – PTO
Randy Orton/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus/Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper – Spear to Sheamus
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Summerslam Count-Up – 1995: The Kliq Can’t Do Everything
Summerslam 1995 Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
…..no. No please don’t make me do THIS show! I’ll pay you to not make me do this waste of a show. If there’s a bottom of the barrel for Summerslam and perhaps the WWF in general, this is it. The main event tonight is King Mabel vs. WWF Champion Diesel in a match that is the preferred method of torture in 19 countries. There is however one bright spot: Shawn vs. Razor II, again in a ladder match. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is like a trailer for the main event matches on tonight’s show, such as the main event, the ladder match, Bret vs. Lawler’s royal dentist and the FINAL blowoff to Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation.
Dean Douglas (Shane Douglas as a high school teacher) will be grading tonight’s matches. That’s a brilliant idea. Someone else should watch a lot of matches and grade them in detail.
Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is still a face here and is starting to look someone older. Hakushi is a Japanese guy who is covered in individual characters, even on his face. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a top wristlock. The Kid backflips out of a wristlock and armdrags Hakushi across the ring to take him down. Things speed up with the Kid hip tossing him down but being kicked off by Hakushi into a stalemate. They run the ropes again but both hold a rope and try superkicks but neither can connect.
Hakushi goes to the throat as Vince calls the show SummerSlime. A tilt-a-whirl slam puts the Kid down and Hakushi poses on the ropes for a few long moments. Hakushi hits a Vader Bomb for two and Vince thinks the match should be stopped. The Kid is sent to the floor and Hakushi hits a gorgeous moonsault from the mat to the floor followed by a top rope shoulder block for two back inside. A swan dive misses though and Kid sends him to the floor for a dive of his own. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two and a frog splash gets the same. The Kid tries a spin kick but gets caught in a quick powerbomb for the pin.
Rating: C+. Solid opener here with both guys looking good throughout. Hakushi really was something special and the fans would turn him face through pure love of his high flying abilities alone. The Kid would be turning heel soon after this in a move that most people didn’t care about for the most part.
Doc Hendrix (Michael Hayes) is WAY too excited about what Mabel’s master plan is for Diesel. Mabel says we have to wait and does a decent evil laugh.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly
This is the future boss’ PPV debut. Helmsley is the stuck up blue blood here so he walks around with his nose in the air. Holly takes him down with some armdrags but gets in a cheap shot to Bob’s head. Holly comes back with some kicks in the corner but runs into a knee to the face to put him down. Helmsley chokes away in the corner before hitting a HARD whip across the corner. A backbreaker gets two and a Flair knee drop gets the same.
We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: D. Well he had to get better after something like this. HHH didn’t look like anything of note but the Pedigree was a good finisher. It was actually his second finisher as he started with a Diamond Cutter but changed it quickly into his run. Holly would also completely change his character in coming years until it finally clicked with the hardcore character.
We get a video of a charity tug of war between wrestlers and Pittsburgh firefighters. It’s for charity so no jokes here.
Blue Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns
The Brothers are Jacob and Eli but are more famous as the bald Harris Brothers (also known as DOA, Creative Control, the Bruise Brothers and about ten other names over the years). Their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently (as of July 2013) Zeb Colter in WWE. Jacob elbows Billy down to start before it’s off to Eli for a slam and some elbow drops. Billy gets a quick two count on Jacob before it’s off to Bart for some arm work. Jacob whips Bart into the corner before bringing Eli back in to get caught by a cross body for two.
The Gunns get a near fall off some double teaming but Billy walks into an H Bomb (double powerbomb) to stop the momentum dead. Eli puts Billy in the Tree of Woe but tags in Jacob instead of doing anything about it. Jacob draws in Bart to allow for more double teaming and Eli gets two off a powerslam. Billy comes back with a face plant to Jacob and makes the tag off to Bart. Everything breaks down and the Blus are sent into each other, allowing the Gunns to hit the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop) on Eli for the pin.
Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as it was completely uninteresting. That’s the problem with so many parts of 1995 WWF: the people just weren’t interesting at all and there was no reason to care about a lot of the matches. All you had here was a midcard tag match that ran about six minutes. It wasn’t any good and there was no story to it, so why was I supposed to care?
We recap the rise of Barry Horowitz. He literally didn’t win a match in years but won a miracle against Skip (Chris Candido) on Action Zone. They went to a ten minute draw a few weeks later and tonight is the final chance for redemption.
Barry Horowitz vs. Skip
Skip has a 22 year old Sunny with him here, putting all the attention on her. Barry has the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila as his theme music. Horowitz starts fast and drops a knee on the fitness guru for two. A knee to the chest puts Skip down and Barry takes down the suspenders. Skip is clotheslined to the floor but Barry pulls him right back in. An O’Connor roll gets two for Barry and he suplexes Skip to the floor. Sunny tries to bring in a towel but gets ejected instead.
She doesn’t leave though and trips Barry up to finally shift momentum. A suplex and a middle rope legdrop get two on Horowitz and the beating continues. Horowitz finally gets up and hits a few shoulder blocks for two but his offense is rather limited. Skip comes back with a clothesline but the fans are chanting for Barry. A powerslam puts Barry down again and some quick legdrops get two for Skip. Off to a chinlock but Barry is quickly up, only to have both guys try dropkicks at once.
Skip is up first and gets a close two off a swan dive. The fans are starting to get behind Horowitz here, but it’s hard to care about a jobber in this big a match. A piledriver is countered and Barry starts his real comeback with a dropkick. He goes up but gets crotched again, allowing Skip to hit a superplex for no cover. Cue Hakushi who Skip cost a win earlier this week to dive over Skip, allowing Barry to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terribly boring or anything but at the end of the day this was a ten minute match with Barry Horowitz facing Skip at Summerslam. That’s not the easiest thing to get into and is more of an historical anomaly than anything significant at all. Nothing to see here at all other than Sunny.
Dean Douglas calls the last match a travesty.
Shawn says he has nothing but the IC Title so there’s nothing Razor can do to take the title from him.
Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze
Blayze is defending and Faye is this rather frumpy fat chick designed to be disturbing. She also has Harvey Whippelman with him as her worshiping admirer. Alundra fires off some quickly kicks to start and the 280lb or so Faye runs her over in response. A bad looking hair pull sends Blayze down and some legdrops get two. Bertha misses a middle rope splash and a victory roll gets two for the champion. Three clotheslines get no count for Alundra as Harvey has the referee. Some middle rope dropkicks stagger Bertha but she avoids a third before hitting a Batista Bomb for the title.
Rating: F. See, Faye was fat and that’s the extent of her character. The title would literally be trashed on Nitro in a few months in the right ending for it. Nothing else to say here.
Remember how I said this show sucked? It’s somehow going to get worse.
We recap Undertaker vs. Kama. Kama stole the Urn at Wrestlemania and melted it down into a big chain which ticked off Taker’s Creatures of the Night (goth fans). They brought a black wreath but Kama destroyed both the wreath and the Creature himself. Tonight it’s a casket match.
Taker says Kama went too far.
Undertaker vs. Kama
Kama is more famous as Godfather and is the Supreme Fighting Machine here, which is kind of an MMA gimmick. Taker pounds away in the corner to start before choking Kama down, only to be kicked in the back when he looks at the casket. Taker knocks Kama over the top and onto the casket to freak him out before hitting a quick splash in the corner. Old School connects and Kama is thrown into the casket but pops right back out. A top rope clothesline puts Taker down for a second but he sits right back up.
Kama hits a quick belly to belly suplex but Taker is right back up again. He throws Kama into the casket again but DiBiase makes a quick save. Kama pounds on Taker in the corner and clotheslines him onto the top of the casket where DiBiase can get in some shots. The managers almost get into it but we’re lucky enough to get more of Taker and Kama’s slow brawling. Kama posts him and rams Taker face first into the casket. A suplex onto the casket works over the back a bit but Kame, the genius that he is, can’t open the casket with Undertaker on top of it.
They both stand on the casket and Undertaker backdrops Kama into the ring to block a piledriver. The fans get WAY into this all of a sudden but Kama takes him down with a powerslam. The genius covers Taker but he sits up a few seconds later. Off to a chinlock because this match hasn’t gone on long enough already. Bearer shoves Kama’s feet off the ropes to break up the hold so it’s off to a headlock.
Taker finally fights up but gets whipped into the corner to stop him cold again. The jumping clothesline puts Kama down and a regular clothesline puts him inside the casket, but Undertaker falls in with him and the lid closes. Kama fights out again and hits a neckbreaker in the ring to put the Dead Man down again. Not that it matters as Taker stands up, hits the chokeslam and tombstone and throws Kama into the casket for the win.
Rating: D. WAY too long for the level of “action” in this match. Also did anyone think Kama had a chance against Undertaker in a major match? There was nothing here and the match running seventeen minutes didn’t help it at all. Undertaker would move onto a feud with King Mabel which was at least different than the year of Undertaker vs. DiBiase.
We recap Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart. I’ll let Todd Petingill explain it to you in his voiceovers:
“Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him. He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist. Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.”
Tell me that “He got a dentist” line doesn’t sound straight out of bad horror movie trailer.
Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart
You might know Yankem better as Fake Diesel, who you might know better as Kane. Isaac’s music is made up of dentist drills which is rather creepy. Bret wants to know if he has to fight an evil chiropractor next. The fans lose their minds for Bret, which makes you wonder why he’s fighting A FREAKING DENTIST. Isaac grabs him by the throat and sends Bret into the corner to take over early. This is his debut so Bret isn’t sure what to do with him.
Bret’s right hands in the corners don’t get him anywhere but he avoids a charge and takes Yankem to the floor with some clotheslines. A plancha takes Isaac down and a middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Isaac blocks. Instead a backslide gets two for Hart, only to have Isaac throw him into the ropes and tie up Bret’s arm. The hard whip into the corner puts Bret down and the ropes look pretty loose. Yankem stomps Bret down in the corner and puts him on his back for a choke but Hart counters into a small package.
Lawler rants about having to kiss Bret’s feet after a previous match and is thrilled when Isaac clotheslines him to the floor. Bret is rammed back first into the post and the selling is the mastery you would expect it to be. Back in and Yankem hits a top rope Fameasser for two and a pair of clotheslines for two. Bret knocks him to the floor and sends him into the steps before getting two off the bulldog back inside. The backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but Lawler breaks up the Sharpshooter.
Bret is sent into the steps again as Lawler is playing cheerleader. Yankem loads up the top rope clothesline but Bret slams him down and pounds away in the corner. Bret trips Yankem up and ties the legs around the post to stomp away before going after Jerry. Isaac escapes and dives off the top onto Bret before tying his head up in the ropes. That’s finally enough for the referee and he throws the match out.
Rating: C. This took time to get going but you could see the potential in Yankem. The problem is he was a gimmick wrestler in the vein of T.L. Hopper and Repo Man: you can only go so far with one idea. That’s why Kane was the idea that worked: it was a character that could evolve and had more than one idea to him, thereby making him interesting and someone with staying power. That’s why WWF in 1995 was so terrible: they were all about the dull one note characters and the interest never was there.
Razor Ramon says he’s ready to become a four time Intercontinental Champion and there’s nothing Shawn can do to stop it. Shawn’s pain brings him pleasure and he better be ready to dance.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon
This is the second ladder match and Shawn is defending. Michaels is over like free beer in a frat house at this point so Razor is the heel by default. The original plan was Shawn vs. Sid but I guess Vince decided to give the show one awesome match to go with the rest of the drek. Also Doc Hendrix is on commentary now. Vince says you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack on your back to reach the belt. SOMEBODY MAKE THAT MOVIE NOW!!!
They slug it out to start and things speed WAY up until Razor avoids a superkick. A quick Razor’s Edge is escaped and we have a stalemate. Razor hits his driving shoulders and whips Shawn over the corner and out to the floor. Doesn’t that put him closer to the ladders? Shawn jumps Ramon as he goes for the ladder because SHAWN gets to bring in the ladder. Razor suplexes Shawn to the floor with Shawn hitting his knee on the barricade. You can hear Vince see Wrestlemania flash before his eyes.
Back in and both finishers miss again and they clothesline each other down. Razor kicks him into the corner and hits a middle rope fall away slam. We get the first ladder brought in as Sid watches in the back. Shawn heads to the floor as the ladder is thrown in but Razor drops him with a great right hand. Shawn shoves the ladder over to stop Razor’s climb and going up himself, only to have his tights pulled down and his leg caught in the falling ladder. Razor slams the leg in between the ladder in a smart move.
The knee is slammed into the ladder as Razor is starting to go heel mid match. He slams Shawn down onto the ladder a few times as the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. The ladder is placed on the middle rope but Shawn can’t be whipped across the ring. He can however send Razor (who has bad ribs, mentioned for the first time here) into the ladder. Razor comes right back and drops the knee on the ladder before cannonballing down onto the leg. Shawn uses the good leg to shove him to the floor, only to have Razor wrap the leg around the post.
Razor makes his climb but Shawn comes off the top with an ax handle to break it up. Both guys go up the same side of the ladder but it’s Shawn taking Ramon down with a belly to back suplex. Shawn moves the ladder into the corner and sends Razor hard into it before doing the same again in another corner. Michaels’ knee is suddenly fine as he stomps on Razor but climbs the ladder for a moonsault press. A splash off the top of the ladder misses though and both guys are done.
Ramon moves the ladder back to the middle of the ring and both guys climb very slowly. They slug it out on top of the ladder but both fall to the side, crotching themselves on the top rope. Shawn picks up the ladder and charges but falls to the floor with Razor falling out as well. Razor pulls out a second ladder and is fast enough to catch Shawn going up in a Razor’s Edge to put both guys down again.
Both guys climb a ladder but neither are directly under the belt. Shawn kicks Razor’s ladder down and jumps at the belt but crashes down to the mat instead. Ramon is backdropped to the floor on another Razor’s Edge attempt, leaving Shawn to climb up…..and fall when he tries to get the belt. Shawn is TICKED about the botch (how often do you hear about him making one of those?) and sprints up the ladder to retain.
Rating: A. This is a different kind of match than they had in 1994 but it’s still excellent stuff. The first match was all about the high spots but this was based in drama and who could survive the match. I wasn’t wild on Shawn forgetting his knee injury and the botches at the end, but that’s nitpicking an excellent match. This worked very well and was great stuff for nearly half an hour.
Razor hands Shawn the belt post match and reaffirms his face status.
Dean Douglas says the previous match wasn’t all that great and Ramon lays him out.
WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel
Diesel is defending and Mabel has Sir Mo with him. The idea here is Mabel has some kind of a Royal Plan to take the title off Diesel. Diesel fires off right hands to start but gets taken down by a big clothesline. The champion comes back with running clotheslines in the corner but can’t pick the fat man up. More clotheslines stagger Mabel and a running shot sends him out to the floor.
In the ONLY interesting spot of the match, Diesel dives over the top to take Mabel out. Mabel no sells it and sends Diesel into the post but has to stop for a Twinkie break. He finally charges into a boot and Diesel pounds away back inside. Mabel reverses a whip and hits the worst Boss Man Slam you’ll ever see. It looked like Diesel was hitting a DDT on the arm. The buckle pad was ripped off somewhere in there.
Mabel sits on Diesel’s back for another breather before hitting a slam. Mo gets on the apron as Mabel misses an elbow drop….and the referee is bumped off camera. Mo comes in for a double team and Luger runs in for the save but gets nailed by Diesel who thinks Luger is on Mabel’s side. Diesel is knocked to the floor and Mabel drops a leg before throwing the champion back in. Luger beats up Mo in the aisle as Mabel gets two off a belly to belly. A middle rope splash misses and a middle rope shoulder from Diesel is enough to retain the title.
Rating: F. Just….yeah. I’d love to know what Vince was on when he came up with this idea but it’s one powerful drug. Mabel was one of the worst heels of all time as he couldn’t move and was waddling around in shiny purple and gold. This was a terrible match as Diesel couldn’t do anything with the fattness. This might be the worst main event of all time. Luger would be in WCW in eight days on the debut of a show called Nitro.
Overall Rating: D. This show has one good thing going for it: Shawn vs. Razor is 34 minutes long counting intros and post match stuff. The rest of the show, only decent opener aside, is drek. This was a very bad time for the company as the Kliq was dominating everything (notice that they’re in the opening matches and the main events) as Bret was fighting a dentist. Things would pick up a bit by next year but the company was on its deathbed by then. This show is definitely bad but it’s not the worst show of all time.
Ratings Comparison
Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid
Original: B
Redo: C+
Bob Holly vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Original: D+
Redo: D
Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers
Original: D
Redo: D
Skip vs. Barry Horowitz
Original: B
Redo: D+
Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye
Original: D+
Redo: F
Undertaker vs. Kama
Original: B-
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Isaas Yankem
Original: B-
Redo: C
Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: B+
Redo: A
King Mabel vs. Diesel
Original: F+
Redo: F
Overall Rating
Original: F
Redo: D
The original had higher individual ratings but the overall rating was lower. I really was bad at this.