Monday Night Raw – July 13, 2015: The KB Is On His Honeymoon So The Show Will Be Up Later Edition
Monday Night Raw Date: July 13, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the go home show for Battleground and thankfully Brock is here, hopefully to beat up a pair of cars in a handicap match this week. Other than that we have the rest of the build towards Wyatt vs. Reigns, possibly even including why they’re fighting and what it has to do with Reigns’ daughter, and more stuff including whatever Ambrose might be doing on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
Diamonds Are Forever
And so are we, assuming she lets me watch Battleground this Sunday.
Saturday Night’s Main Event #2: Time For A Wedding!
Saturday Night’s Main Event #2
Date: October 5, 1985
Location: Meadowlands Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura
One of the best things about the first episode of this series was how few names were used. There was the opening six man tag, the four wrestlers (and Mr. T.) in the Piper’s Pit and title match, the girls and Junkyard Dog. That leaves a huge cast of characters to look at in upcoming episodes and that’s exactly what we’re going to do here. This episode has several of the people on the first show but also a bunch of other names that we haven’t seen yet. Let’s get to it.
Nikolai Volkoff and Freddie Blassie promise to take the WWF World Title back to Russia and then push the missile button to destroy us all. Volkoff and Sheik have lost the Tag Team Titles to the US Express, who have since lost them to the Dream Team, who we’ll be seeing later.
Hulk Hogan tells America not to worry.
Hillbilly Jim, Cousin Luke and Uncle Elmer (the resident hillbillies) are ready for Elmer’s wedding and the reception later tonight. Piper comes in and mocks the whole thing.
Opening sequence, again with different people than last time but still ending with Hogan.
Vince and Jesse run down the card. Ventura thinks the wedding is going to be boring.
WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff
We get the Russian national anthem and Real American Hulk Hogan actually doesn’t interrupt. Instead we get an on the floor promo from Hogan, who hates seeing the Russian flag flying in an American ring. He’ll be carrying the Stars and Stripes to the ring and promises that it’s the only flag you’ll see after the match is over. Hogan actually comes to the ring to Stars and Stripes Forever instead of Real American in a nice touch.
The evil Russian jumps the champ before the bell and chokes him with a shirt. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle though and hammers away in the corner before nailing a hard running clothesline. Some headbutts and right hands put Volkoff down again and a boot to the chest puts him onto the timekeeper’s table. Volkoff lands on the bell, causing it to ring in a funny bit.
Nikolai sends Hulk into the post to take over though and stomps away on the back inside. The gorilla press (not the full version) backbreaker plants Hogan but Volkoff doesn’t go for the cover. Hulk powers out of an over the shoulder backbreaker but Nikolai pounds him back down again. A slam gets two and it’s Hulk Up time. Hulk avoids a charge in the corner and the big leg is enough to retain the title.
Rating: D+. Again, the idea here was to get Hogan on free TV but this was short and dull for the most part. Volkoff was pretty much just a strong oaf who could talk about how great Russia was and then get beaten up by a real American. It was a simpler time, but it would have been nice to have someone that could have had a better match than Volkoff.
Hogan spits on the Russian flag and throws it on the ground.
Post break Hogan says he’d love to beat up Volkoff again and calls him baby doll. Hogan is ready for the wedding as well.
The bride is getting ready.
The Hillbillies aren’t worried about anything they have to do tonight.
Jerry Valiant vs. Uncle Elmer
The bell rings, Elmer slams him and gets the pin. It barely broke ten seconds and is announced as a new record of six seconds.
We see the King Kong Bundy vs. SD Jones match from Wrestlemania I that held the old record of nine seconds, even though it was more like twenty one. I still don’t know how they got nine out of that.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is here and it’s really not treated as that big of a deal.
It’s time for Jesse Ventura’s Body Shop interview segment. His guest is Bobby Heenan, who has issued a $50,000 bounty on the head of former client Paul Orndorff. Heenan suggests that Orndorff just retire instead of try to fight back.
Orndorff doesn’t think the bounty is anything to worry about and laughs at the idea that Piper is already spending the money.
Piper says he’ll rip Heenan’s throat out if he doesn’t pay off. Tonight he can make some money and get rid of someone he can’t stand. He also doesn’t think Elmer should get married because it means he could reproduce and who would want that?
Roddy Piper vs. Paul Orndorff
Piper comes out to a full pipe and drums band. It’s a brawl to start with Piper going right at it like the fighting villain that he is. A boot to the face puts Orndorff down and Piper rams his head into the mat over and over. Orndorff comes back and hammers away before they start ripping at each others’ faces. Piper keeps stomping away as the fans all stand up to look at something in the audience.
The guys head outside with Orndorff throwing a chair back inside but coming in with a shot to the head. A belly to back suplex drops Roddy but he comes back with a poke to the eye and a kneelift. They hit heads and Orndorff gets up first, nailing a cross body to take both guys outside. Neither guy cares about the count and they brawl up the aisle for the double countout.
Rating: C+. Really fun brawl here with both guys beating the tar out of each other until they went to the appropriate ending. In theory this sets up a big series of matches on house shows where they could have a real winner. These two had great chemistry together and this was very fun stuff.
It’s time for the wedding with Okerlund playing the organ and Uncle Elmer in his overalls and a tie. The wrestlers are the wedding party with Andre in his tights and Hogan in a sleeveless shirt and bow tie. The minister calls the groom Uncle Elmer and everything goes fine until Elmer can’t understand the minister and messes up the vows.
Roddy Piper interrupts and says there’s no room for romance in wrestling. That goes nowhere as the wedding goes on without any major hitch. This went on for a good while and never really did anything of note. In theory it was supposed to be funny but it never reached that point. From what I’ve read, this was an actual wedding rather than just a storyline.
Some pigs and chickens are running around the reception area.
Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy, Heenan’s pair of giants, say they’re going to prove that they’re the real giants of wrestling instead of Andre. They recently cut Andre’s hair to give him his best remembered look.
Tony Atlas/Andre the Giant vs. Big John Studd/King King Bundy
Atlas is a power wrestler. This was set up when Andre was beaten down by the giants, so Atlas is here to help him out. Andre chokes Bundy to start and takes him into the corner for some big hip shots. Off to Atlas who is easily knocked over with a shoulder but avoids a splash. Studd comes in and drills Tony with a shoulder of his own but gets rocked by some headbutts.
Tony misses a dropkick though and John stomps away. Bundy gets in a cheap shot when Andre goes after Studd, but Tony crawls over for the tag a few seconds later. We get an awkward sequence as Andre doesn’t seem sure of what to do before he just lays on Studd against the ropes. A big boot sends John outside but Bundy comes in with a cheap shot. Studd rams Atlas into the post and the giants double team Andre for a double DQ.
Rating: D+. Not much to this one but it was designed to set up something later on. At the end of the day, Atlas just wasn’t much of a partner for Andre as he needed someone a bit bigger to hang in there with monsters like Bundy and Studd. The match wasn’t anything to see but it advanced a major story.
Hogan comes in to save his old friend Andre, setting up another showdown later on.
Gene Okerlund, in safari gear, is on a hunt. Granted the tiger print jeep doesn’t do much for his camouflage. Apparently he’s hunting for George Steele and has been told to look in the Detroit Zoological Park. Steele is right there and hasn’t been seen since undergoing shock treatment, which gave him the ability to speak for a few moments before another shock turned him back to his normal self. He and Gene look at some animals, including a tiger (Steele: “Detroit!”), a weasel (“Heenan!”) and a hippopotamus (“Bundy!”). George runs off into some bushes. I miss these segments outside the arena as they make things a bit more interesting.
The new Tag Team Champions the Dream Team (Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake) are willing to fight anyone. We see a clip of Brutus blinding Barry Windham to win the titles. Barry and Rotundo will be sitting ringside for the match.
Tag Team Titles: Dream Team vs. Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo
Garea is an old timer and five time Tag Team Champion. Poffo is more famous as the Genius and Randy Savage’s brother. Valentine easily slams Lanny down and works on a headlock before tagging in Brutus. Poffy quickly fights back and drops both guys before getting two off a moonsault to Beefcake. The champs work over Poffo in the corner but he finally dives over and tags in Garea. Tony speeds things up for a bit and takes over until Beefcake gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Valentine to put on the Figure Four to retain the titles. Windham and Rotundo didn’t do a thing.
Rating: D+. Total squash again here with the champs never being in anything resembling danger. Then again they were in there against a couple of jobbers so the ending never was in much doubt. The division was about to take off in another year or so with the Dream Team being one of the last teams of the old era.
We go to the wedding reception where Jesse is writing a poem for the bride and groom. Hogan thinks this could launch Elmer to the top of the WWF. Lou Albano is eating with Cousin Luke and tries to teach him some manners. Poffo, still sweaty and in his gear, reads a poem of his own for the couple, ending it with a plug for NBC. Hillbilly Jim says he’s open for dinner invites every Sunday.
There’s a special guest: Tiny Tim! Who is that you ask? Well he’s a guy who had a novelty song called Tiptoe Through The Tulips which he sang while playing his ukelele. Tim was involved in a nationally televised wedding before this and has been mentioned throughout the night. He gives Elmer a ukelele and that’s it for Tim tonight.
Jesse reads his poem and calls the whole thing wrong. Wrestling and romance don’t belong together so all the good guys throw him into a cake to end the show.
After a break, Vince announces Hogan/Andre vs. Bundy/Studd on the next show, a month from tonight. Hogan is excited about the match and we go to our last break before dancing ends the show.
Overall Rating: D. This one really didn’t do it for me as most of it was based around the wedding and it really wasn’t all that entertaining. Why should I care about a comedy character getting married on national TV? It comes off like nothing but a ratings ploy, which really shouldn’t be necessary on the second show of a series.
The wrestling wasn’t much better here as most of the matches were either really quick or just there to set up something later on down the line. Thankfully it’s a short line with only a month before the next episode. The Hogan and Andre team is going to wind up being something important, but we’re a good way off from that. Bad episode here though.
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SuperBrawl 2000 Date: February 20, 2000
Location: Cow Palace, San Francisco, California
Attendance: 8,569
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Mike Tenay
Well the TV shows have been some of the least interesting things I’ve ever had to sit through, so maybe the pay per view will be the complete opposite and be entertaining. I mean, stranger things have happened right? The main events tonight are Sid Vicious defending the World Title against Jeff Jarrett and Scott Hall in a three way, plus Hogan vs. Luger and Funk vs. Flair because they haven’t replaced the Radicalz, but these old guys are still going to be fighting each other no matter who else is on the card. Let’s get to it.
The opening video starts by focusing on Funk vs. Flair. The start of Funk’s promo overlaps the opening narration as they can’t even get something simple like “wait five more seconds” right. Sid defending the World Title is billed third here.
We open with, of course, a promo. Jarrett and the Twins leave the Commissioner’s office along with the girls, much to Gene’s shock. Much to my shock too as the Twins were banned from the building. Jarrett says he’s in charge due to hitting Nash with the guitar on Thunder. His first ruling: the Twins are allowed at ringside.
The announcers run down the card to fill in even more time, including the “Special Main Event Match” with The Demon vs. The Wall.
We recap the Cruiserweight Title tournament, including the matches between people not even in the finals. This gets us to over ten minutes of filler before the first match starts.
Cruiserweight Title: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Lash Leroux
The title is vacant coming in and Artist has Paisley with him. Lash spanks Paisley and gets punched in the face. Some southern gentleman. Prince hammers away at the shoulder (allegedly head) in the corner but gets shoved down onto a very loud ring. Lash’s version of Flip Flop and Fly is broken up by a superkick to the face, only to get sent to the floor for a dive from the southern non-gentleman. Back in and Prince doesn’t seem to mind being crushed by a dive as he ties Lash up in the Tree of Woe for a running knee. Oh yeah Kevin Sullivan is in charge.
Lash tries a sunset flip but Iaukea grabs Charles Robinson’s crotch to stay on his feet before licking his own finger and pressing it to Lash’s head. The Artist keeps yelling at the referee (to be fair Robinson didn’t seem to like having his crotch grabbed) and Paisley gets on the apron for no apparent reason other than to give us a bright purple bodysuit as a distraction. Lash slugs away but the Paisley distraction lets Prince hit the middle rope DDT for the pin and the title.
Rating: D. This was a Thunder match with a lame ending that did nothing to get the fans into the show. These two are the least interesting guys in the entire tournament (yes, less interesting than Kaz Hayashi) and they wind up in the finals. A member of 3 Count should have won this and then feuded with some other cruiserweight to build that person up as the new big deal. Instead it goes to Iaukea, who isn’t over and hasn’t been over in about three years since he beat Regal for the TV Title. Calling him over back then is a stretch but it’s as close as he ever got otherwise.
Norman Smiley has his ribs taped up after being chokeslammed through a table on Thunder.
Brian Knobbs yells about never giving up.
There’s a private room that no one is allowed inside. If no one is allowed inside, why bother looking at it? In theory wouldn’t that mean no one is inside in the first place?
Hardcore Title: Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Brian Knobbs
Brian is challenging so naturally he lost on TV this week. He also has a broken arm thanks to Luger. The brawl starts early and here’s Fit Finlay, who has been feuding with Knobbs in recent weeks but of course starts helping him here. Madden: “The title moves around a lot.” Bigelow is the third champion in about four months. That’s not moving around that fast. The World Title has changed hands seven times in January. If the Hardcore Title moves around a lot, the World Title took third in the 100m at the 1984 Olympics.
Knobbs and Bigelow fight into the back as Tenay says no one holds the belt that long. The first reign was a month and a half and the second was about a month. Would a little research kill these people? Bigelow throws him into a table of stuff but Finlay blasts the champ in the back of the head. Finlay is too talented to be involved here though and Knobbs says he wants to do this himself.
They head back to the ring where it’s table time, which leads to an interesting, semi-fourth wall breaking discussion of why there are so many tables under the ring. Knobbs sends himself through the table by mistake, setting up the Greetings From Asbury Park. Bigelow goes up top instead of covering and gets hit with with cast, knocking him out to the floor to give Brian the pin and the title.
Rating: F. It was boring, it didn’t make sense, and above all else it was poorly researched. If there’s one thing I want in my hardcore matches, it’s a heavily detailed bibliography with footnotes and references, along with a recommendation of other hardcore matches worth watching for further education. Is that too much to ask?
Flair and Luger are ready.
Sid and Hall’s dressing rooms are guarded.
3 Count vs. Norman Smiley
No singing tonight because it’s time to fight. No shoulder pads for Norman tonight either. Norman’s ribs are injured thanks to Wall chokeslamming him through a table. Tony: “Let’s take a look at the angle that lead to his injury.” Smiley cleans house to start and backdrops Shannon so hard over the top that he clears the other band members.
3 Count takes over without going after the ribs, though in their defense the ribs are covered by a 49ers jersey. The ribs are fine enough for a giant swing to Helms but Shannon breaks up the Big Wiggle. Shane and Shannon stop to dance, allowing Norman to wiggle instead. The band finally finds the bad ribs and stomps Norman down in the corner, setting up a pair of top rope splashes and a Boston crab to make Smiley give up.
Rating: D. So you give Norman a 3-1 disadvantage and an injury and then have him lose. Points for being logical, points taken away for killing the crowd by having the fan favorite lose. I like that they’re pushing 3 Count, but if they think this is going to get the fans to care about them, they’re even more lost than I thought.
Jarrett wants the Harris Brothers to find out who is in the locked room.
The Demon vs. The Wall
This is the MAIN EVENT MATCH, which is WCW’s way of fulfilling their contract with Kiss without wasting a main event on Demon. There’s no Wall because he realized how stupid this whole thing is. Demon goes to find him and gets jumped from behind, triggering another brawl.
Wall takes it inside and chokes with his boot as this is looking like a squash to start. Demon comes back with a clothesline and stomps away before mixing it up by punching in the corner. Back up and Wall drops him ribs first onto the ropes, only to get slammed off the top. The fans are already jeering this match so thankfully Wall chokeslams him off the top for the pin.
Rating: F. On pay per view mind you. This actually happened on pay per view. But it was a MAIN EVENT MATCH so everything is fine right? Demon was a character that was dead in the water before he started but at least they seem to be trying with Wall. I’d be stunned if he isn’t just being built up as cannon fodder for someone else but he’s getting a push for now.
Ernest Miller promises that James Brown is here. Apparently Beethoven stole his stuff from Little Richard, who stole it from James Brown. The things you learn around here.
The Twins can’t get into the room.
We recap Tank Abbott vs. Big Al, because this needs a story. Actually it does, as I have no idea why they’re fighting. Al is Tank’s former bodyguard from the UFC, so they’re having a leather jacket on a pole match.
Tank Abbott vs. Big Al
Al is in jeans and a biker vest. He takes off his belt and they tie their hands together, which means Tank is going to have to……oh dear goodness he’s going to have to wrestle. Or just throw left hands and swear a lot. Al hits him with a forearm that breaks the belt and seems to knock Tank out cold. Then he takes forever to wrap Tank’s legs around the post but stops, says that’s too good for him, and gets back inside. Back in and Al stands on his face, making sure to lean against the ropes.
Tank slugs him down and then throws Al onto his shoulders. For some reason he climbs all the way to the top, where he drops Al down, sending him feet first into the steps and head second onto the floor. By the way, to Bill Watts, THAT’S WHY YOU HAVE MATS OUT THERE (I read his book recently and he still thinks the biggest danger is a sprained ankle if you step on the edge). With Al somewhere between unconscious and dead, Tank goes out and hits him once in the chest before going up for the jacket and the win.
Rating: Spencer Tracy in Father of the Bride. That’s as logical of a rating as I can give you after this. We had Al, who just appeared but has never wrestled before and I don’t believe will after this match, against Tank Abbott, who also isn’t a wrestler (at least by my definition), in a match about a leather jacket. Throw in the likely brain trauma for Al and this is one of the biggest calamities I’ve ever seen.
And now, for the infamous part. Abbott finds a knife in one of the jacket pockets and holds it over the unconscious Al’s throat, where he says he could kill Al right now. Tony suggests that they were scissors and that Abbott was going to cut Al’s beard. That line has been mocked a lot over the years, but I’ll actually give Tony credit for thinking it up that fast. Have you got a better idea for what he should be saying there? Now that being said, it would have been a lot better if Al actually had a beard.
We recap the battle of Harlem Heat. Stevie Ray claimed that Booker had forgotten where he came from and has since given Booker’s spot on the team to Big T. This of course includes the rights to the letter T. Booker was also arrested on attempted murder charges because he hit an atomic drop on J. Biggs. That’s a bit harsh. I mean, maybe he was just trying to cut off Biggs’ beard.
Booker tries to keep it simple by saying he’ll teach Big T. a lesson tonight. The T isn’t mentioned.
Booker vs. Big T.
For the rights to Harlem Heat. Oh and Booker has Leave It To Beaver music because he’s lost the rights to the Harlem Heat song. Stevie has promised that someone is coming back from Booker’s past to cost him the match tonight. That pretty much leaves Sherri Martel and Midnight unless it’s someone new. T. pounds on not-T to start but Booker comes back with a weak Angle Slam and a suplex.
Stevie grabs Booker’s foot (sounds like a hostile takeover of the B on Booker’s boot) so T. can knock Booker to the floor. Back in and Booker hits his kicks before knocking Biggs off the apron. There’s the Book End and missile dropkick but the lights go out. Thank goodness the referee counted so slowly. The bell tolls midnight and the lights come up with a large man (maybe 4×4 from the No Limit Soldiers) to distract Booker, setting up the Pearl River Plunge to pin Booker. I guess it was too much to ask the guy to actually do anything but stand there.
Rating: D-. Now, NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Big T. is worthless at this point and adding someone even bigger doesn’t make the team mean anything more. Booker is stuck in this stupid story because the idea of moving him up the card is a sin of some sort. I’m sure we’ll get another match though as Booker will find someone to team with him next time.
The Maestro is sick of hearing about James Brown and has a bet in mind: if Brown isn’t here, Miller has to be Maestro’s servant. If Brown is here, Maestro will listen to any music Miller picks exclusively. Keep in mind that this whole bet has been set up on the night of the show with about 100 minutes of air time left. This falls under the theory that if you have a good looking woman in the background (Symphony here), the scene is much easier to sit through.
The Twins beat up a backstage worker who can’t unlock the door. I know they’re not known for being too bright, but is it that complicated to have two 6’6 300lb monsters kick in a wooden door?
We get a WAY too long recap of Kidman vs. Vampiro, who had two good TV matches and then Vampiro walked out on him in a tag match. Tonight is the tiebreaker and the Wall is also involved in some way, though he isn’t appearing in this match. Therefore, I’m sure you get why he’s featured in the recap video. The video goes on for nearly two minutes, which might set a record for the longest recap of a midcard match ever.
Vampiro vs. Kidman
The announcers spend the entrances talking about how Kidman has moved up from the Cruiserweight division, which is a nice sentiment but I’m not sure how accurate it really is given that he’s fighting Vampiro in a midcard match. Feeling out process to start with Kidman grabbing a headlock (a non-cruiserweight headlock of course) but Vampiro punches him in the head, allowing Kidman to hurricanrana him out to the floor.
Back in and Vampiro scores with a dropkick as the fans are eerily silent. A quick shot of Torrie helps a bit and Kidman counters a powerbomb (duh), only to have his knee dropkicked out from under him. Torrie gets knocked off the apron so Kidman snaps Vampiro’s neck across the top to go check on her. Madden does his best Jerry Lawler impression but it comes off as far more creepy stalker than loveable dirty old man like Lawler. Vampiro slams Kidman in and gets two off a snap suplex.
A Fameasser (called the Dropper according to Tenay) gets two more as Madden makes up a bit for being creepy by saying this could be a US Title match in a year and a World Title match in two years. Kidman’s top rope hurricanrana (which he used to win the first match) gets two but Vampiro blows my mind by doing the unthinkable: he powerbombs Kidman……TWICE!!! Since the announcers don’t get one of Kidman’s biggest deal, they treat this as nothing special.
In a very quick ending, Kidman goes up top for a sunset bomb but turns around into a kind of super reverse DDT for the pin. It looked really awkward and Vampiro is slow to get up. It’s not quite Big Al being dropped onto the concrete from above the top rope, but that was a totally non-cruiserweight pulling Vampiro down in a reverse DDT. That has to hurt.
Rating: C-. Pretty uninspired stuff here but at least they only took seven matches to get something to go six minutes. This was treated like a big feud but it never came off as anything more than taking two guys with talent and throwing them together because the company had nothing better to do with them. Somehow I’m sure they’ll be blamed for the crowd not caring after an hour of really dull stuff.
Funk promises to win the death match with Dustin Rhodes in his corner.
Sid tells security to get away from his door.
David Flair, Daffney and Crowbar have fun with the stretcher.
We recap the Tag Team Title match, which is over Vito’s sister’s wedding being broken up by the crazy people. Therefore, tonight is an Italian stretcher match for the Mamalukes’ titles in the third match between these teams.
The Mamalukes don’t accept their family being hurt by anyone. It’s so bad that Johnny doesn’t want a cheese sandwich.
Tag Team Titles: Crowbar/David Flair vs. Mamalukes
Mamalukes are defending and this is suddenly a Sicilian stretcher match. Both members of a team have to be taken up the aisle on stretchers to end this. The brawl starts on the floor, as you would expect, with Disco getting in on commentary as you would also expect. Naturally we look at him as Tony says this is a shoot to him. This is one place where I would prefer WWE’s current way too tough commentary restrictions. If any of those words were spoken on Raw, Vince would probably come out and beat Cole senseless live on TV.
The champions run down the crazy guys with a stretcher, which Daffney finds hilarious. They head inside instead of trying to take them the other way on the stretcher because this company’s wrestlers aren’t that bright. Daffney comes in for a hurricanrana on Johnny, which seems to just annoy him. A lead pipe to the back (so lead that it bends as it hits Johnny) puts Johnny down again and the champs are in trouble. The fans are trying to get into this but it’s really not lasting. My hearing isn’t lasting either after Daffney screeches into the camera.
Crowbar hits a Lionsault onto Vito and it’s time to break up the stretcher. Tony does his “I can’t believe we’re watching this” voice and Vito powerbombs Crowbar through the table. Apparently Disco has been poked in the eye and can’t tell what is happening to who. Johnny jumps from the mat to the top rope ala Shelton Benjamin for a spinning legdrop (with an acceptable pause for balance).
David is taped onto the stretcher and the referees wheel it to the back because……I don’t care why because this is closer to being over. Crowbar dives onto both Mamalukes as the fans are just silent here. Daffney rings the bell to confuse things even more, which somehow takes two minutes for the announcers to figure out. Vito splashes Crowbar through a table on the floor and puts he and Daffney (Madden: “The screams are usually a sign she’s enjoying herself.”) on the stretcher to finally end this.
Rating: D. There are multiple problems here, but the biggest problem is who was in the match. Flair and Crowbar are a freakshow team and the Mamalukes are just ok. That’s the problem with them: they’re just so average that there’s nothing interesting to say about them. The other problem here is we’ve covered this already. The Mamalukes have beaten Flair and Crowbar three times now and there’s nothing left to say with this feud. Unfortunately, who else is there for them to feud with? 3 Count? The Harris Twins? That’s about as good as the division has at this point, which goes back to my request: HIRE NEW PEOPLE!
With the Mamalukes’ music still playing, Jarrett and the Twins leave their locker room. This was a fifteen second segment and changed nothing.
Sid promises to prove that he’s the World Champion because he deserves to be.
Here’s Ernest Miller for the big talking segment, which for some reason is about ERNEST MILLER. He dances to the ring and rips on the fans for being rednecks who didn’t believe he could get James Brown. “You didn’t believe me and James Brown were like two neckbones in a pot!” After some more insults, here’s a James Brown impersonator so bad that Rick Bognar is off somewhere shaking his head.
Cue the Maestro and Symphony because this is really happening on pay per view. Maestro sounds like he’s trying to use an accent but can’t decide what country it’s supposed to be from. Miller isn’t going to do anything Maestro says and there goes James’ sunglasses, revealing that it’s not the real one.
Cue a bunch of dancers, leading down the real James Brown with another entourage. The Maestro’s reaction (jaw hanging open and then fainting) is awesome but this just keeps going to destroy any good feelings. Miller and Brown dance and I think this is a face turn. I know I want to cheer for someone who was calling the fans stupid rednecks when this started but hey, he brought out a singer to dance with him.
The announcers act like this is awesome as it just continues. Brown gives Miller his cape for a passing of the torch or whatever but they have to pose on the apron before this is finally done. Total time between Miller’s music starting and cutting to ANYTHING else: 12:06, or longer than any match so far.
Hall talks about how he can go and the James Brown music is playing over his promo.
We recap Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk, which started with Funk saying he’s a bigger legend and that Flair is jealous. David Flair got beaten up but Ric wouldn’t help him, causing Arn Anderson to walk away from Ric. This is somehow a sequel to their famous feud in 1989 because there was no one young and talented for either guy to put over.
Flair says he’s awesome and drops a lot of catchphrases.
If you buy this show, you get a teddy bear! I could use a teddy bear to hold and rock back and forth as I scream into the darkness if the rest of the show is as bad as the first two hours.
Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk
Death match, meaning last man standing but you have to get a fall before the ten count starts. Dustin Rhodes is sitting in a chair to cheer Funk on as the guys slug it out in the corner. Flair rolls outside and the stalling begins but Funk quickly suplexes him back inside. There’s the spinning toehold but Flair punches his way out of it. They fight outside with Funk hitting another suplex as this is already in slow motion.
Ric is up first, only to take another suplex, drawing some very inappropriate language. He must have been watching that Tank Abbott mess earlier. Either way, the second suplex is good for a pin but Flair is up at five. To be fair it was just a suplex. Back up and Flair goes after the knees with some kicks and chair shots as Madden tries to play this off as a dramatic silence.
The Figure Four in the ring makes Funk give up quickly for a strategy play and is up before the count even gets close. Flair gets slammed off the top and piledriven on the floor but Funk would rather take back the floor mats than cover. They slug it out again because a piledriver on the floor only keeps you down for about ten seconds these days. Another piledriver on the mats gets a pin but Flair is up at about seven.
It’s table time but Funk has something to say first. He offers Ric the chance to quit and the response earns Flair a mic to the head. Normally that would be a heel move but I don’t think they have any idea who is a face or heel here so it’s acceptable. Funk puts Flair on the table as we cut to Dustin to remind us that he’s here. A really good looking piledriver through the table in the ring knocks Ric silly for…..two, as Terry pulls Ric up before the pin. Funk loads up another table and then covers (huh?) before hammering away at the head. Ric gets up and throws Funk through the table for the pin and the ten count to win.
Rating: C+. Good brawl here but the match was basically in slow motion throughout and the ending was lame. Dustin added nothing to this match and I still have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for. Also, Flair gets piledriven through a table and is on his feet less than two minutes later? Really? Still though, these two are going to have a good match through pure greatness and that’s how they pulled this one off.
Hulk Hogan, straight out of 1994, says the arm is just the break he’s been looking for. They had been teasing a Hulk/Hollywood hybrid coming into the show and there’s no sign of it. Of course. Hulk is willing to snap and crackle Liz if necessary.
Hulk Hogan vs. Total Package
Hogan has a broken arm coming in. Buffer’s entrance: “LET’S BRING EM ON!” Luger jumps him (Hogan, not Buffer) as he hits the ring but Hulk goes to the eyes, which is considered a Hollywood move. The rapid (work with me here) elbows (all two of them) set up some choking and Luger is thrown to the floor for the t-shirt rip. Hogan’s back being to the camera for the big shirt rip clearly shows that he doesn’t know how to work. Hogan slugs away on the floor but comes back inside to eat an elbow to the jaw. Oh yeah this is just going to be a punch and kick match.
Luger takes him back outside for some whips into the barricade but a cast shot to the face staggers Package. Ten rams each into two buckles set up a big right hand as the fans aren’t thrilled with Hogan’s schtick. A Liz distraction lets Luger get in more forearms to the back but Hogan sends him into the barricade again. Hart steals a ball bat from Liz, a suplex is no sold, Luger hits him low, Hart and Hogan both use their casts and the legdrop finishes Lex.
Rating: D. Remember a little while ago when Flair and Funk took a pretty lame match and made it work through pure charisma? Well apparently that only works if you have both guys trying as Hogan was his normal self but Luger was just walking through this match and doing even less than usual. You can’t even have Hulk no sell the steel forearm? The best we can get is a suplex? Worthless match but Hogan’s formula worked so long for a reason.
Post match Flair comes in to go after Hogan’s leg but Sting, with new makeup, returns for the big save. This segment could have easily taken place in 1995 and no one would have noticed the difference.
Hall comes out of his dressing room and sends the security away.
Sid does the same. These segments felt like the build to a commercial.
We recap the World Title match which is Sid defending against two guys feuding over the NWO shenanigans. That stable needs to die (again) already.
The door has been opened and apparently it wasn’t Sting inside. Thankfully they say Sting came from elsewhere in the arena to close a loophole. Unfortunately they leave open the “there was a cameraman on the door so HOW DO WE NOT KNOW WHO WAS INSIDE” loophole.
WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett
Sid is defending and this is one fall to a finish with No DQ. Jarrett is introduced as a five time World Champion combined (what does that even mean?) but not the US Champion. That’s awful even by WCW standards. Hall and Jarrett start fighting before Sid comes to the ring and we’ve got less than nine minutes to go in the show. Points to Buffer for still doing Sid’s entrance while Jarrett is running from Hall.
The champ gets double teamed as Hall and Jarrett’s feud is dropped for fear of Sid. That goes nowhere as the Twins interfere to give Jeff control. Jarrett stomps on both guys and Hall doesn’t even let him put on the sleeper before reversing it. The referee is decked maybe three minutes into this, which really shouldn’t mean much given that this is No DQ.
A double chokeslam (with Jeff jumping before Sid even had time to think about moving his arm. I know Sid is Sid, but Jarrett is better than that) gets two from new referee Nick Patrick and Ron gives Jarrett the belt. Sid gets knocked out and Hall grabs some rollups for two each on Jeff, who knocks the second referee out. Sid throws Jeff into a chair, allowing a third referee to count two for Hall. Sid fights the Twins but Jeff pokes the referee in the eye and gives him a Stroke. Come on just get to the finish.
Jarrett beats up the fourth referee before he can do anything and here’s crooked referee Slick Johnson. The Outsider’s Edge plants Jeff but Johnson has a sudden shoulder injury. I’m counting that as a ref bump. The guitar lays out Jarrett and here’s…..oh sweet goodness Roddy Piper is here in a referee’s shirt. He stops Johnson’s count at two, pokes Jarrett in the eye, and watches Sid plant Jeff with a chokeslam. Sid powerbombs Hall to retain with Piper counting, which is the last time we’ll see Hall in a WCW match.
Rating: F. This is another match where if you need an explanation, you haven’t been paying close enough attention. The match ran seven minutes, meaning we had a ref bump about every 100 seconds. On top of that, why does WCW insist on putting Roddy Piper on TV so often? It’s like Undertaker returning over and over: it works for awhile, and then there’s enough of them to make a full on DVD.
Overall Rating: F-. This show is one of the worst kind you can have: it didn’t need to exist and then on top of that it was horrible. What on here couldn’t have been done on TV? Even Flair vs. Funk, the longest match of the night by far at just under sixteen minutes, felt like a TV main event. There are matches on here that feel like they could be TV openers, which is nowhere near enough to make me want to pay to see this show. If the biggest things to happen on a show are a tournament final for the lowest title in the company and ANOTHER Roddy Piper return, there is no need for a show to exist, especially one this horrible.
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Thunder – February 16, 2000: Split Personality Hogan
Thunder Date: February 16, 2000
Location: First Union Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 5,586 Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
It’s the go home show for SuperBrawl and the old guys abound. The big stories here are Hogan vs. Luger and Flair vs. Funk, one of which I can’t imagine appearing tonight because he’s worked the last two shows in a row. Other than that we get to find out if Prince Iaukea or Psychosis gets to fight Lash Leroux for the Cruiserweight Title. I continue to beg WCW to hire some fresh talent before too late sounds like great days gone by. Let’s get to it.
There’s a new opening sequence, which is a bit better looking than the previous one. This at least has more wrestling clips included.
Here’s executive representative Terry Taylor to open things up. Jeff Jarrett has been hitting too many people with guitars lately and Sid got into a fight with Hall in a hotel (meaning Hall got drunk/high on a flight, so he’s gone for a bit). Sid has volunteered to leave the building for the night as a result, which scares me to think about what could be headlining this show. Cue Jarrett to complain about people screwing with him and promises to take care of Sid and Hall on Sunday. Taylor takes a guitar and spray paint, which is going to get Jarrett over as the huge heel everyone knows he’s capable of being right?
Card rundown.
Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. Kaz Hayashi
Kaz is substituting for an injured Psychosis and the winner gets Lash Leroux on Sunday. Prince punches away in the middle and in the corner to start as Miss Hancock is here to watch. The punches go nowhere so Kaz hits a clothesline and punches of his own. A spinwheel kick drops Prince again but it’s time for the girls to get into it. That earns Hancock an ejection, allowing us to completely focus on this boring match. Prince avoids a backdrop and slaps Kaz in the face, followed by a dragon screw leg whip. The cool middle rope DDT sends Prince to the finals after a boring match.
Nash isn’t happy with Jarrett attacking Taylor.
Norman Smiley vs. The Wall
Smiley is rocking the Flyers gear this week. Wall no sells some clotheslines and kicks Norman square in the jaw, putting him out to the floor. That would be a better finisher than yet another person using a chokeslam. Norman whips him into the barricade but Wall shrugs it off again and plants him with a backbreaker. He may be a comedy guy but Norman can sell this power offense very well. Wall misses a sitdown splash and Norman comes back with his usual, only to dive off the middle rope into the chokeslam for the pin.
Rating: D. Bad result aside, it was always entertaining to see Norman out there doing his thing. What isn’t entertaining though is to see the same waste of a talent like Smiley for the sake of pushing some monster like Wall. However, at least Wall is someone young (33 here) getting a push. It’s better than the norm around here.
Norman gets chokeslammed through a table and EMTs come out to check on him.
Tank Abbott vs. Van Hammer
Tank wins with the usual in 45 seconds. Are they trying to recreate Goldberg?
Kidman yells at Vampiro backstage.
DDP book plug.
Nash hits on his nurses.
Here are Luger and Liz with something to say. Luger has turned the two of them into stars when he broke Hogan’s arm on Monday (not when he won the World Title or anything). He doesn’t need to brag about his incredible body because he has a new partner in Ric Flair. This brings out Ric, who shouts down fat boys and insults the Philadelphia fans by saying he and Luger are real athletes unlike Eric Lindros.
After some bragging about hurting Funk, here are Terry and Dustin Rhodes to say this is hardcore country. Ah yes, it had been a few weeks since they had used ECW to get their boring shows over. Funk says Dustin is better than his daddy and a challenge for a tag match is thrown down. Even the promos to set up the main events are boring.
The Mamalukes want to hurt David and Crowbar on Sunday. They’re Italians you see.
Harris Brothers vs. Kidman/Vampiro
Vampiro has new music but the Twins are a little bit country and jump him to start. A quick kick to the face staggers Ron and the hot tag brings in Kidman to dive onto both of them. Vampiro isn’t paying attention when Kidman tags him in though as these two guys, who spent weeks fighting, amazingly can’t get along.
Ron side slams Vampiro to take over before it’s off to Don for a Rock Bottom and powerslam. A chinlock goes nowhere so Vampiro comes back with a spinwheel kick and makes the tag. Kidman cleans house and hits his Bodog as Vampiro walks out, only to come back and take a chair that was aimed at Kidman, giving Don the pin.
Rating: D+. Can we just have Vampiro and Kidman fight again so we can get this over with? Maybe one of them can move up the ladder a bit as a result, but I’d assume they’ll be thrown into another meaningless midcard feud because they’re talented enough to put some worry into the people on top, who are guaranteed their spots because they’re the top stars.
Big Vito vs. Crowbar
Street fight. In the back, the Mamalukes jump Crowbar and lock David and Daffney in their locker room. Who would give those two a locker room? Couldn’t you put them in a storage closet and let them have fun there instead? Vito backdrops Crowbar onto a car but Crowbar does the same off a suplex and drops a leg for two. Daffney has escaped the room and is throwing what appear to be vegetables at the guys. Vito stomps away, throws Crowbar into a car and drops an elbow (just a regular elbow) for the pin. So much for that going anywhere.
Nash continues to hit on the nurses.
This Week In WCW Motorsports.
Mark Johnson vs. Mickie Jay
Yes they’re referees and yes, this is getting time instead of any of those young wrestlers who might benefit from a TV match. Mark, the evil crooked one, jumps Mickie from behind and wraps his leg around the post. Back in and more knee work sets up a middle rope elbow but Mark only hits mat. Cue the Harris Brothers to distract the referee, allowing the other to kick Mickie down for the pin. If this is the best use of their TV time, cancel Thunder already.
Fit Finlay vs. Brian Knobbs
This is a cast match before both guys have broken arms and Jimmy Hart, with a broken arm of his own, is guest referee. They’re quickly on the floor with Knobbs being sent arm first into the steps before the brawl goes into the crowd. Since you can’t see anything they quickly come back with Brian being sent into various metal objects. The Regal Roll gets two but Jimmy hurts his arm slapping the mat on the count. Finlay gets in a quick cast shot for the pin with Jimmy using the good arm to count. Another meaningless match with a #1 contender losing.
Jarrett is ticked off. As always.
We recap Hogan’s arm being broken.
In a pre-taped promo, Hogan talks about transforming into Hollywood and wanting to break Liz in half. I’ll let that one speak for itself, but my goodness drop the Hollywood character.
Dustin Rhodes/Terry Funk vs. Ric Flair/Total Package
Funk and Flair get things going with Terry taking him down for some left hands to the head. Everything quickly breaks down and Luger has to save Flair from a piledriver through the table. Back in again and Flair hits Terry low to take over. That’s fine with Terry who slams Ric off the top and loads up the spinning toe hold, only to have Luger make another save.
The heels finally start cutting the ring off and take over as I try to fathom who thought letting Terry Funk work the majority of the match was the right idea. Terry and Lex clothesline each other and Dustin comes in off the hot tag. Everything breaks down again and Liz hits Dustin with the ball bat, allowing Flair to Figure Four him for the pin.
Rating: F. This was the best idea they possibly had? Flair and Luger are a decent enough team as an upper midcard heel act, but Funk is killing it. I know he’s a legend and all that, but it’s getting embarrassing to watch his slow motion punches and expecting the fans to think they’re impressive.
Funk saves Dustin from more beatings.
Nash bans the Twins from SuperBrawl and gets guitared to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. Unless I’m forgetting something, which is possible as the levels of boredom on this show might have melted my brain, the only thing on here that is going to matter on Sunday is Prince beating Hayashi to go to the finals of the Cruiserweight Title tournament. This show means nothing and their match selection and booking of the card made it even worse.
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NXT – July 8, 2015: Do We Have Proof He’s A Human?
NXT Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Rich Brennan
We have a new NXT Champion though we’re likely only going to hear about it in voiceovers as this is a taped show from a few weeks back. Finn Balor took the NXT Title from Kevin Owens in Tokyo on 4th of July and you know Owens is going to be gunning to get his title back. Other than that though, we have the Vaudevillains vs. Enzo/Cass for the #1 contendership. Let’s get to it.
Sasha Banks/??? vs. Dana Brooke/Emma
The new announcer introduces Dana and then throws in that she’s accompanied by her partner Emma. Dana laughs at Sasha for not having a partner so the fans chant Blue Pants. Sasha is ready to fight on her own but here’s someone to back her up.
Sasha Banks/Charlotte vs. Dana Brooke/Emma
Charlotte says she’ll be Sasha’s partner but Banks owes her one. Banks kicks Dana around to start but Brooke runs when it’s off to Charlotte. That means it’s off to Emma, who bails to the floor to avoid a knee drop. The heels finally take over but the fans are busy arguing over whether Dana is rachet or not. Emma bodyscissors Charlotte to slow it down but she fights up for the tag off to Sasha and the champ cleans house. A running knee in the corner and the Bank Statement makes Brooke tap at 4:39.
Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it dragged the match down a lot. Dana tapping out is a bad sign for her but I don’t think anyone really bought her as the top star of the division or anything like that. Sasha vs. Charlotte again is going to be fine and Becky and Bayley returning will make things even better.
As you might guess, Charlotte’s payment will be a title shot next week, which Sasha is just fine with.
Bayley says she can’t wrestle at the moment because of a broken hand. She’ll be back for the NXT Title, but Emma is in for more than a hug.
Video on Finn Balor’s rise to the top of NXT and becoming #1 contender.
We get a clipped version of Balor vs. Owens for the title in Tokyo, but here’s the full match in case you haven’t read it yet.
NXT Title: Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens
We get the Demon entrance and oh yes it’s still glorious. For a bonus, the camera changes to an arena shot at the crescendos of the music. To make it feel even more special, we get the full on flower presentation from geisha girls (Owens throws his into the crowd of course) and streamers for both guys. Get this through your head ROH: doing the same thing for every match doesn’t make it feel more special. Hideo Itami is shown in the front row and we’re ready to start. Balor has more paint than ever with his face, torso and left leg covered.
Balor charges at the bell and loads up the Coup de Grace in the first ten seconds. Owens rolls outside so Balor nails a big dive as the NXT chants start up. He tries to bail again and eats a baseball slide as Balor is all over him. Back in and Owens hammers away to take over for the first time. Owens: “AND THAT’S WHY I’M THE CHAMP!” We hear more of Balor’s accomplishments in New Japan as Owens takes some bows.
It’s off to Chinlock City before a forearm breaks up Balor’s springboard. The slow pace is working for Kevin here and it fits him very well. Finn beats the count back in but takes the backsplash for two. Back in and Owens snapmares him down and runs the ropes….before stopping for a chinlock. Owens: “Are you not impressed? I don’t care. I hate this country and all its stupid people!” Balor fights back again with a middle rope forearm for two so Owens does Cena’s finishing sequence, complete with an attempted AA.
Balor is afraid of a lawsuit over gimmick infringement (only Kurt Angle can steal that many finishers) and slips out twice in a row. Bloody Sunday is teased (and the fans gasp) but it’s a Pele Kick to put Owens down instead. Owens takes a big flip dive and a top rope double stomp to the back, followed by a reverse Bloody Sunday (not called that of course) for a VERY close two. The Coup de Grace misses though and Owens’ Cannonball gets two. The package piledriver slam gets the same but Balor hits a quick Sling Blade.
Another Coup de Grace is countered so Balor kicks him in the head and FINALLY connects with the stomp….for two. Dang I thought that was it. Owens can’t hit the swinging fisherman’s superplex so he settles for a middle rope Regal Roll for two. That looked great. Kevin’s Swanton hits knees and the real Bloody Sunday gets an even closer two. They’re trading bombs here and it’s getting awesome. Owens makes the eternal mistake of slapping a hero in the face and saying the hero can’t beat him. Balor dropkicks him into the corner, hits a running corner dropkick and a second Coup de Grace for the title at 19:30.
Rating: B+. Was there ever any doubt that this was going to be awesome? Owens is one of the best heels that I’ve seen in years and he does everything he can do to make you hate him. The fact that he can go as well as he does in the ring makes him even better, which is saying quite a bit as he’s that good as a character.
Tatsumi Fujinami congratulates Balor on his win.
Kevin Owens doesn’t have anything to say about the loss.
Chad Gable doesn’t know why Jason Jordan doesn’t want him as his partner other than he’s happy with losing. Jordan finally comes up and asks Gable to be his partner next week. Well it’s more saying they’ll be partners next week but it’s as polite as Jordan gets.
Solomon Crowe says he’s back to be the resident monster.
Marcus Louis vs. Solomon Crowe
Louis is back with no music but he’s still crazy. A chop puts him down and Crowe puts on a standing Crippler’s Crossface with his leg tied into Louis’ to crank on the shoulder. That’s a new one. Louis crotches him on top for a very aggressive two and puts on a kneeling abdominal stretch. Crowe fights up again and slaps on a Brock Lock, apparently called the Crowebar for the tap out at 3:18.
Rating: C-. Well Crowe looked better, but it’s still not fitting for him. I’m also never a fan of a crazy guy tapping out as it shows way too much logic and common sense to give up like that. The match wasn’t anything special but neither guy has anything going for them so seeing them on TV is a good sign.
The Vaudevillains say they’ll be the #1 contenders.
Clip of some guys congratulating Balor on winning, including John Cena. Balor says this couldn’t have gone any better.
Vaudevillains vs. Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady
English is rocking a MANLY beard. Enzo and Gotch get things going with Simon getting a rollup for two. Off to English for a headlock on the mat but he’s back out just a few seconds later. Cass shoves both of them to the floor and calls them S-A-W-F-T as we take a break. Back with Cass throwing Enzo into Aiden for two but Enzo charges into a boot in the corner, giving him one of the best eyes wide open stunned faces I’ve ever seen.
It’s Enzo playing the semi-human in peril (I’ve yet to see actual proof that he’s a person) in a chinlock followed by a legdrop before diving over for the tag to Colin. Everything breaks down and Aiden gets kicked in the face. The Rocket Launcher has to be changed into a cross body though and English rolls through for the pin and the title shot at 10:48.
Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would but my goodness they’re really not going with Enzo and Cass getting the titles in Brooklyn? Are they just asking for the worst reaction in years? I know the Vaudevillains will be well received, but my goodness this is one of those layup ideas that they’re just missing. Granted there’s another month before we could get there so all hope isn’t lost.
Overall Rating: C+. This was another shot that set the stage for later more than a good stand alone episode. However, it’s setting up Takeover in Brooklyn and there’s no way that’s not going to be awesome due to the crowd reaction alone. Things will pick up when they can say Balor won the title instead of just having the commentary do it, but Sami will get a great reaction next week in the last show of the taping cycle.
Results
Sasha Banks/Charlotte b. Dana Brooke/Emma – Bank Statement to Brooke
Solomon Crowe b. Marcus Louis – Crowebar
Vaudevillains b. Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady – English rolled through a high cross body
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Ring of Honor – July 8, 2015: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria’s Kingdom?
Ring of Honor Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Terminal 5, New York City, New York
Commentators: King Corino, Kevin Kelly
This should be an interesting show as it’s FINALLY just a new ROH show instead of a co-promoted show with New Japan. The main story is the fallout of Jay Lethal winning the World Title at Best in the World to go with his TV Title. Now it’s time to get ready for Death Before Dishonor in a few weeks so let’s get to it.
After a quick opening sequence, we get a stills package on Lethal vs. Briscoe at Best in the World with Jay walking out with the titles. That was a pretty safe bet all around.
Regular opening.
Dalton Castle vs. Watanabe
The fans are almost entirely behind Castle here. Castle dances around to start but gets dropped by a shoulder. I still don’t get Watanabe. He’s really just a guy in tights who does moves, which actually would get him way over in Ring of Honor so maybe I just don’t get the point. Castle gets knocked into the corner so his guys fan him off, only to have Watanabe get knocked into the corner where Dalton’s guys fan him off too. Ok point for a funny spot.
We take a break and come back with an exchange of small packages without many counts in between. A backsplash gets two for Watanabe but Dalton grabs a suplex to get a breather. Castle follows up with a German and we get a cool, Lucha Underground style overhead shot to show Watanabe sprawled on the mat. Watanabe pops up (a Japanese wrestler not selling that much?) and hooks a Cloverleaf….into a catapult? That’s a new one on me. Watanabe spends a bit too much time posing though and gets caught in a reverse sitout powerbomb for the pin at 10:10.
Rating: D+. Castle isn’t bad but again, I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Watanabe. Something about Watanabe being on a training mission which I know is a real thing in Japan, but I see no reason to care about him training to go and become a bigger deal in Japan.
Castle says there are a lot of boys out here tonight, but after Best in the World (at this point he lays back on his guys’ bent over chests), he’s the only real man in Ring of Honor. Cue Silas Young as we go to a quick break.
Nigel McGuinness brings out Jay Lethal for his first chat as champion. The fans tell the heel champion that he deserves it because smark fans don’t understand the difference between faces and heels. Truth Martini says the fans aren’t Lethal’s people, because the House of Truth are his people. Jay is clearly the best in the world because he is the undisputed World Champion. Fans: “TIE YOUR SHOES!”
Lethal is about to leave but Nigel asks him which of those titles is he going to be vacating. That’s fine with Nigel, but it’s a bit more complicated than that. See, Lethal may see the titles as the same thing, but Ring of Honor sees them as two different things. Therefore, Lethal will be defending the World Title against Roderick Strong at Death Before Dishonor, but he’ll be defending the TV Title next week against Mark Briscoe. Jay rants about how he knows he’s the greatest and if he has to wrestle twice in a night, so be it.
This brings out Roderick Strong to a better reaction than Lethal. Strong tells Lethal to look him right in the face like a man. On July 24, Lethal is walking in as champion but Strong is walking out with the belt. That was one of the most generic, lame face promos I’ve heard in a very long time, but at least Strong can usually back it up in the ring.
Kingdom vs. Michael Elgin/Red Dragon
That would be Matt Taven/Adam Cole/Michael Bennett with Maria, who is as gorgeous as ever. Before the match, Maria tells Cole not to worry about what happened at Best in the World (not important enough to specify) because tonight they’ll prove that this Kingdom shall never fall. After a break and they shake hands for the Code of Honor and therefore we don’t miss any action. That’s a good ROH.
Bennett vs. Elgin to get things going with Mike’s (Bennett) shoulder having no effect. Elgin’s shoulder on the other hand works a bit better and he loads up a suplex. Taven and Cole come in to kick him in the ribs but he won’t go do, so Red Dragon slaps on a pair of submission holds as this is one sided so far. The rest of the Kingdom finally gets together to take Elgin to the floor so Bennett can hit a flip dive.
Back in and a high cross body gets two on Elgin as Taven takes over. We take a break and come back with Elgin diving over for a tag, only to have Cole and Taven pull his partners down to the floor. Elgin finally takes the Kingdom down and makes the hot tag as everything breaks down. Taven eats a DDT into a wheelbarrow suplex for two but pops up and dives onto O’Reilly and Fish.
Back in and a hot tag brings in Elgin to clean house with suplexes, followed by a fireman’s carry to Taven and Bennett at the same time. Cole’s kick to the ribs doesn’t break it up again so Elgin swings their legs around to hit Adam in the face. The Kingdom takes them down again and Bennett loads up a Backpack Stunner with Taven adding a running boot to the face for two.
Red Dragon dives on Cole and Bennett, leaving Elgin to powerbomb Taven onto all four of them. Back in and a superbomb gets two on Taven with Cole diving in for a save. Cole plants Elgin with the Canadian Destroyer and a big spike piledriver gets two so Kyle actually tags out to Kyle. Yeah tagging still exists in this thing. A guillotine choke has Cole in trouble but he has to settle for a Dean Ambrose rebound lariat, followed by Chasing the Dragon for the pin on Cole at 17:16.
Rating: C+. I had fun with this but I’m really not a fan of the big messy tag matches. These are basically ECW tag matches without the weapons, which isn’t something that’s really appealing for me. It’s certainly entertaining, but it’s nothing that I’m ever going to want to watch again. Well other than Maria of course.
Cole walks out on his partners to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show more than the previous few weeks because now I’m going to have a chance to get to know the Ring of Honor roster instead of some all star team they have. It’s good that there’s a continuing relationship with New Japan, but I’m glad that it’s limited instead of dominating the shows anymore. Fun episode this week and another shot that flew by.
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Impact Wrestling Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We’re officially in the Ethan Carter III era, which means tonight is going to be a big celebration. It’s going to be interesting to see where the company goes with Ethan on top, because he was clearly the next logical choice to take the title. Oh and Dixie is back. Yes, about a year after she left, Dixie Carter makes her big return tonight to either congratulate or help deal with her nephew, because the world just wouldn’t be complete without the Duchess of Darlin out there to guide us through life. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the World Title change last week. That really was the only way to go.
Here are Ethan and Tyrus to open things up. Ethan: “DO I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION YET??? I am the undisputed World Heavyweight Champion and the greatest living wrestler alive.” Dixie has given him free reign tonight, meaning he’s booked the entire card. Therefore, he’ll be defending his title not EC-once, not EC-twice, but EC3 times. This brings out Matt Hardy, who says he took Angle to the limit before Carter’s title shot.
If Ethan is so keen to defend the title tonight, how about Matt Hardy getting a chance? Ethan declines, because Matt may have taken Angle to the limit, but the champ took him over the limit. True actually. Instead, Matt can have a tag match, if he can find someone to replace his idiot brother. Actually Ethan doesn’t mean against he and Tyrus though, meaning it’s time for the Dirty Heels. You can see the talent departures starting to take effect already.
Matt Hardy vs. Dirty Heels
Carter is in on commentary and gets in an argument about Twitter to start. The numbers game has Matt in early trouble as you would expect with Roode dropping Matt face first in a gordbuster. Aries argues with the referee so Roode can punch Hardy in the face behind the referee’s back. That’s quite the dirty heel move.
Ethan’s mic stops working as Matt hooks what used to be called the Ice Pick on Roode until Aries makes a quick save. That earns Austin an Ice Pick but he blocks the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a suplex over the ropes but Bobby plays Heenan by tripping the leg so Aries can fall on top for the pin at 5:01. Carter: “THEY’RE SO DIRTY!”
Rating: D+. This seems like part of Carter’s reign of terror, but at the same time it seems like it might be a way to just throw people into matches because they don’t have stories for everyone. The Heels cheating makes sense but it wasn’t a good match either way. That’s the problem with shows like this: it makes for a long night of heel dominance, which can be a chore to sit through.
Here’s the Rising for their big breakup speech. Drew promises to keep standing up for wrestling and Drake says one day he’ll show Galloway what it means for Drew getting him in the door. The team leaves Drew alone in the ring and Ethan grabs a mic and starts to cry. It’s sad to see Drew like this, but it’s even sadder that he has a 3-1 handicap match right now.
Drew Galloway vs. Khoya/Abyss/Manik
Drew is in jeans and the beatdown is on early. A clothesline and neckbreaker give Galloway a breather but a BIG Sky High powerbomb from Khoya plants him back down. Abyss doesn’t like Khoya going for the pin though, allowing Drew to catch Manik in a backbreaker. As the other two argue, a big boot to Manik’s jaw (well the mask around his jaw) is enough for the big upset pin at 2:18. Well done on mixing up the heel dominance and hopefully this leads to the official end of the Revolution.
Mr. Anderson congratulates Carter on winning the title but thinks he’d be a great option for one of those three title shots. Carter disagrees and gives Anderson a match next.
Mr. Anderson vs. Bram
Bram gets taken to the mat to start and eats a swinging neckbreaker, followed by a Regal Roll. Well the second attempt at one but it’s better late than never right? A Swanton gets two but Bram elbows out of the Mic Check. That earns him a clothesline out to the floor, only to have Bram nail Anderson with a chair for the DQ at 2:59. That was kind of pointless.
Bram keeps beating Anderson up after the match and orders the mic to be dropped, which he uses to bash Anderson’s head in, drawing some blood in the process.
Robbie E. vs. Jesse Godderz
Street fight. Robbie starts fast and takes it outside for a running flip dive off the apron. A running trashcan shot “knocks the Adonis complex out of the Adonis” (ok that was a good line) and it’s time to head inside. Robbie blasts him between the legs with a kendo stick, which is somehow a way for Josh to transition to plugging another Destination America show.
The cheap plug apparently ticked Jesse off enough that he’s able to send Robbie back first into the post, followed by a buckle bomb. It’s nice to see some basic body part work to set up a submission hold. That’s often considered too basic today but it still works just fine. Robbie comes back with a White Russian legsweep to make Jesse drop his kendo stick before sending him into a trashcan in the corner.
A reverse DDT onto the chair gets two for Robbie but Jesse crotches him on top. Jesse powerbombs him through two chairs in what really should have been the finish (Pope sounds more confused than shocked on the kickout) but instead he has to put Robbie in the Adonis Lock with a chair over Robbie’s back for the pass out at 8:30.
Rating: C+. I had a much better time with this than I was expecting to and both guys are looking great at the moment. They made a very smart move here by not having Robbie tap out. They’ve done a very good job of making Robbie seem like a potentially serious deal, though I can’t imagine Jesse getting very far with a Boston crab finisher.
Lashley wants a title shot but gets Tyrus instead.
Kurt Angle says Ethan’s gauntlet has gotten a lot more interesting.
The Jarretts say they can’t believe that they’re they’re back after everything that happened but TNA is one of the many promotions they’re partnering with. The King of the Mountain Title is going to be defended in Global Force Wrestling and other promotions around the world. That’s not much, but at least we got SOMETHING this week.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???
First up for Ethan is….Norv Fernum. Pope is of course aghast at these developments. A right hand and the 1%er are enough for the pin in 45 seconds.
Carter sits down in the corner and gets water. “To the body? To the body!”
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. ???
It’s Shark Boy, complete with a quick plug for Shark Week on Discovery Channel. For some reason Pope thinks this one is hilarious. Shark Boy looks about seven months pregnant. Tyrus: “You’re going to need a bigger boat.” Shark Boy gets in some offense but the 1%er takes him out in 54 seconds.
Carter is ready for the third match and here’s Kurt. Contract, rematch clause, tonight.
Lashley vs. Tyrus
Carter is on commentary again. Lashley runs into Tyrus to start but has a sleeper quickly broken. Instead, Tyrus plants him down with a side slam and drops an elbow for two. It’s hard to believe that Tyrus is in his early 40s. The guy made the big time fairly late in his career and it’s hard to fathom on occasion. Lashley can’t slam him so Tyrus throws him down with a t-bone suplex. That’s fine with Lashley who throws Tyrus onto his shoulder for an electric chair (but he couldn’t slam him?), followed by a spear to put Tyrus away at 4:46.
Rating: D+. Pretty meh match here as Tyrus isn’t exactly great in the ring. The match wasn’t horrible but it was really just an extended workout for Lashley. That’s all well and good though as he’ll likely be back in the main event scene soon enough, which is where Lashley belongs.
The end of the Jarretts’ interview talks about how his goals for Global Force line up with TNA’s and everybody wins. The real history of TNA is in the list of great names they’ve had over the years (including Don West oddly enough) and that’s Jeff’s legacy.
Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky
Before the match, Madison tells Velvet that she belongs in the crowd instead of the ring. The brawl is on because this match needed a story I guess. I’ll take it over “they were in the Beautiful People!” again though. They quickly head outside with Madison being sent shoulder first into the post. Madison grabs a northern lights suplex but has to clutch her shoulder after the kickout. Velvet shrugs off some offense and kicks Madison in the face, setting up the Stunner for the pin at 3:36.
Rating: D+. As usual, Velvet is nothing to see in the ring. Well, her wrestling isn’t at least. The division continues to just kind of meander along except for the title feud, and Velvet being near the top again isn’t something interesting. The fact that it seems like we’re headed for another Gail Kim title reign or at least feud with the Dollhouse makes it even worse. Velvet just doesn’t do it for me anymore after we’ve seen what the girls are capable of doing and that’s not good going forward.
Some TNA wrestlers were at a charity camp. That’s always cool to see.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle
Carter, defending, immediately runs to the floor and the stalling begins. Back in and a suplex gets two on the champ and Ethan is back on the floor, demanding a faster count. Kurt goes after him this time and it’s time to roll some Germans. Tyrus gets knocked off the apron and there’s the ankle lock, but Ethan punches the referee. He taps out and Hebner calls for the bell at 3:26. That’s the bell for the DQ of course.
Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I don’t think this one really warrants a full explanation.
Post break and Ethan is still in the ring, saying he got out of that one. Now for the big cherry on top, here’s Dixie! And it’s to SILENCE. On a taped show no less. Ethan is ready for his congratulations for winning the World Title and defending the Carter name but Dixie cuts him off and says she doesn’t recognize the person she was last year. Now it’s Ethan who is out of control and OH MY GOODNESS they’re really making this all about Dixie again.
Yes, after all that time of her turning the show into a playground, we’re supposed to cheer for her because she’s seen the light or whatever. Ethan is taking over so Dixie is ready to announce a matchmaker so he’ll have to defend the title against quality competition. It’s not Dixie (thank goodness) and darlin (you knew that was coming), we’ll find out who that is next week.
Overall Rating: C-. The show wasn’t terrible but as usual, TNA doesn’t know how to let there be more than one major story at once. Above all else though, I do not want to see Dixie Carter on TV. I understand that she is the President of the company and all that jazz, but she is not an interesting character. It feels like the most forced idea in the world and something that the fans do not want to see. HHH was a monster when he left but returned in 2002 to one of the loudest pops of all time. Dixie returned after a year to crickets. What does that tell you about her?
Other than that though, there was too much packed into this show. We had two handicap matches, a street fight and a match that ended in a DQ. It’s too much in one night and that’s not something you want to do here. They need to calm this stuff down, even though they’re running out of time. Look at the Knockouts match for example. That easily could have been cut out and had it’s five minutes handed to something else. That’s where TNA doesn’t get it: they need to stop pushing everything into one show when there’s another week coming up.
Results
Dirty Heels b. Matt Hardy – Aries pinned Hardy with Roode holding his leg
Drew Galloway b. Khoya/Abyss/Manik – Big boot to Manik
Mr. Anderson b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a chair
Jesse Godderz b. Robbie E. – Adonis Lock
Ethan Carter III b. Norv Fernum – 1%er
Ethan Carter III b. Shark Boy – 1%er
Lashley b. Tyrus – Spear
Velvet Sky b. Madison Rayne – Stunner
Kurt Angle b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter punched the referee
Lucha Underground – July 8, 2015: Atomicos, Fire and Death
Lucha Underground Date: July 8, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
We’re less than a month away from Ultima Lucha and that means most of the card has already been set up. The main questions remaining are who will get the last of the medallions and what does it mean for the people who win them. My guess is a midcard title of some sort but it’s hard to guess around this place. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap focuses on some of the big matches coming up at Ultima Lucha with Mundo vs. Alberto getting more time than anything else. Nothing really gets a ton of time though.
Pentagon Jr. bows to his master (and we see a shadow this time) and says Ian Hodgkinson (Vampiro’s real name) won’t face him at Ultima Lucha. He will be sacrificed though. Konnan is going to be the master isn’t he?
Cage vs. The Mack
I believe this is fallout from Cage taking Mack’s spot in the Trios Title match a few weeks back. They trade kicks to the head to start until Cage throws him down and plants him with a delayed vertical suplex. Mack shrugs them off and hits an exploder suplex into the corner (think Sami, but bigger, stronger and without as much charisma) for no cover. A discus lariat puts Mack down again but he kicks Cage in the head and slides between Cage’s legs into a rollup for the big upset.
Rating: C+. What the heck was that? The Mack really hasn’t shown me much in Lucha Underground so far but this was quite the power brawl with two big guys beating the tar out of each other for about four minutes before a quick rollup pin. How Cage didn’t thrive as a monster in NXT is beyond me because he’s great in the role here.
Catrina comes up to Son of Havoc in the back and says death is coming. Ivelisse comes after her but Catrina disappears, leaving Ivelisse on top of Havoc. Angelico: “Don’t tell me you two are getting back together again.”
Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes and Johnny Mundo vs. Alberto El Patron are set for Ultima Lucha.
Vampiro’s sitdown interview is with Pentagon Jr. and Vampiro gets right to the point: he isn’t fighting at Ultima Lucha. Now we get to the important stuff: who is the master? Pentagon says nothing so Vampiro brings up the hurting people. Pentagon says Vampiro used to be a monster like him but is now a coward, which is all Vampiro needs to make him snap. The masked man rants a lot about how Vampiro is a coward and walks out.
Mil Muertes vs. Son of Havoc
Muertes is in the ring to start the match, which you should NEVER do for a monster. Mil charges into a kick to the face, followed by a back elbow for two. They’re quickly on the floor with Muertes throwing Havoc into a pile of chairs and slamming him onto the announcers’ table. Havoc fights back inside and hits a quick double stomp into a standing moonsault for two. Vampiro: “You’re going to need more than that to stamp out death.”
Back up and Havoc flips out of a chokeslam, only to have Muertes punch him in the face to take over again. Havoc shoves him off the top but misses the Shooting Star, leading to the Disciples of Death appearing to wipe out Angelico. A rock to Ivelisse’s face puts her down, only to have Havoc dive on everyone. It takes too much time though and Havoc eats a spear and the Downward Spiral for the pin.
Rating: C. Again not bad with Muertes looking like a monster but Havoc not getting squashed as a champion. They did a very solid job of keeping both guys looking strong while making Muertes the better man, which is a lot better than WWE does half the time these days. Good stuff.
Here’s Texano to say he may not have always been a good guy but he’s always been Mexicano. Yeah he’s a cheater but he’d never turn on his people or his race. Chavo Guerrero and Blue Demon Jr. may be saying they’re Mexico, but Texano is through and through. Texano wants Chavo out here right now but they get the Crew instead, which draws out Blue Demon to chase them off with just a stare. The Crew throws Demon a chair though and he knocks Texano silly to bust him open. Blue Demon says he’s Mexico and doesn’t need Texano to fight his battles. They’ll fight at Ultima Lucha.
Team Alberto vs. Team Johnny
Alberto El Patron, Sexy Star, Drago, Aerostar
Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans, Super Fly, Hernandez
This is an Atomicos match, which apparently means one fall to a finish. Thanks for that rule change. Alberto and Johnny start things off but Mundo immediately tags out to Evans like a good heel. The good guys take over and stomp away on Evans in the corner with Star stomping Jack from the top rope. It’s off to Fly who eats a quick headscissors, allowing for the tag off to Drago.
Hernandez comes in as well but everything breaks down with the rudos destroying Alberto on the floor. This is insanely fast paced stuff and I can barely keep up with it. Star does a HUGE backwards dive to take out Evans and Fly, setting up the big parade of dives. Johnny breaks up Alberto’s dive and gets chased up the steps though, thankfully leaving us with just six guys. Fly works over Star until it’s off to Hernandez for a sitout Alpha Bomb for two. Mundo’s running knee to the face gets the same and Evans breaks up a sunset flip with a knee to the back.
Things have finally settled down a bit here and I can suddenly breathe again. Star comes in off a tag and we get some heel miscommunication, only to have Hernandez pull Star off Fly as everything breaks down again. Alberto and Mundo are back with El Patron slapping Jack into the armbreaker but Mundo makes the save with the End of the World. Star goes up but dives into a rollup (with a handful of trunks) for the pin.
Rating: B. Fun tag match here and exactly the way they should have set up something for Ultima Lucha. The show is starting to feel huge and Alberto vs. Mundo is probably going to be the second biggest match on the card. Really fun main event here that felt like the lucha libre showcase they’ve been shooting for.
The announcers preview next week when Pentagon Jr. kicks Vampiro in the head and beats him with a chair. He vows to destroy this shell of a man and pulls out a can of gasoline. After dousing Vampiro, he promises to destroy him at Ultima Lucha. Pentagon pulls out a lighter and tells Vampiro he has one week to make a decision.
Overall Rating: B+. This was the return to form that Lucha Underground has been looking for. All of the matches delivered and it felt like a show that made me want to see the big show later on. When this show is on, there’s very little like it and this worked wonders all around. Really good stuff here and a fun show.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Same as last week as I won’t be able to post the full thing tonight so here it is in advance.
Smackdown Date: July 9, 2015
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Jimmy Uso, Jerry Lawler
We’re back after this Monday’s classic of Cena vs. Cesaro and Lesnar squashing a Cadillac with….maybe Cesaro and Rollins if we’re lucky. My guess is we’ll get more of a focus on Reigns vs. Wyatt, which is a far more interesting story than the World Title situation. Hopefully the wrestling will be good. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap is a long video on Lesnar vs. Rollins, with Cena vs. Cesaro not warranting air time.
Here’s Rollins to open things up by calling Lesnar a coward. Luckily we’re treated to a JUSTIN BIEBER chant because that’s a full time thing now. Rollins rants about the destroyed Cadillac but here’s Paul Heyman with a tow truck hauling out the remnants. Heyman says you can’t treat Lesnar like Rollins did and not expect to be taken to Suplex City.
Both say that the car is a metaphor for their opponent (or client’s opponent) in a good exchange. Rollins brings up the whole destroying the Shield thing but Heyman promises Lesnar putting his foot on Seth’s chest as he holds up his new title. Seth cuts him off again and promises to keep the title. This was basic stuff but it’s why they have Heyman with Lesnar though. If Brock can’t be around, just throw Heyman out there to do the talking.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bo Dallas
In case Monday’s squash didn’t do it for you I guess. Before the match, Bo takes credit for the success of Rock’s new HBO series Ballers. Ambrose works on a hammerlock to start but Dallas sends him into the post three times in a row. Some choking with the ring skirt (that’s something you don’t see to often) sets up Bo’s belly to belly (his old finisher) for two and we take a break. Back with Dean fighting out of a chinlock and firing away against the ropes. We get a big surprise as Bo runs the ropes for a belly to belly superplex, followed by a Downward Spiral for two. That goes nowhere so Dirty Deeds finishes Bo at 9:07.
Rating: C-. Bo surprised me here a bit and it’s been cool to see him working extra hard lately, dating back to the match against Neville on pay per view. Ambrose is still looking for his next feud and you almost have to assume it’s going to be against Reigns because, simply put, who else is there?
Big Show tells Rollins to take care of Lesnar and promises to take out Reigns tonight. Man I thought we were past that mess.
Recap of Rusev putting Ziggler out on Raw.
Fandango vs. Rusev
Rusev has shoes now, which is a very smart mandate for him. Fandango scores with a headscissors to start as Jimmy brings up Rusev wearing boots after Tom and Jerry spent thirty seconds talking about it during Rusev’s entrance. This is every Rusev match before he feuded with Cena: a nerve hold, no selling Fandango’s comeback, the superkick and the Accolade for the submission at 3:15.
Rating: D. Hey, Rusev is back. I think that sums up the whole thing here as it was just a quick squash with a bunch of shots of Summer Rae to make things a bit easier to sit through. Summer works fine as a gold digger, even if Rusev doesn’t have a ton of gold at the moment. Make Rusev a monster again and he’ll be fine.
Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
Remember what I said about being fine? Forget all of that here. Show is now in a sleeveless black shirt instead of the singlet top. Reigns gets thrown around to start and Show shoves him out to the floor. The giant gets posted for an eight count and it’s time for Reigns’ clotheslines, because where would we be without a series of clotheslines? The Superman Punch is loaded up but we’ve got a fake Wyatt on the stage. The real one gets punched off the apron but pulls Reigns down for the DQ at 4:00.
Rating: D+. This was barely a match as a good chunk of it was spent on the fake Wyatt and waiting on Big Show to beat the count back in. Thankfully we didn’t have to sit through a long Reigns vs. Big Show match which would have killed the crowd and been a big bore all match long. Wyatt vs. Reigns should be a really fun power brawl when we get there though.
Bray hits a pair of Sister Abigails.
Titus O’Neil vs. Big E.
E. takes over to start and hammers Titus into the corner to start. That’s a very common way to open matches these days. We hit the early abdominal stretch complete with slaps but Titus tosses E. out to the floor. A belly to belly stops Titus’ comeback and the partners all try to interfere, earning them a mass ejection. Clash of the Titus ends E. at 2:49.
Austin WWE2K16 video.
Video on the Cadillac being crushed earlier this week. So what wrecked car was brought out earlier???
After a recap of what happened between them on Monday, here’s Orton to talk about what happened with Sheamus earlier this week. He keeps it simple by saying he’s going to attempt to make Sheamus entertaining by ripping off his mohawk, but here’s the Ascension of all people for some reason. There was a time when this might have been interesting but instead it’s RKO’s all around.
Video on Cesaro vs. Cena from Raw. This deserved any attention it could get.
Naomi/Tamina vs. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox
Brie shoves Naomi into the corner to start before it’s off to Tamina, who takes some kicks to the ribs as well. All hail the Bellas right? Tamina makes a comeback so it’s off to Alicia and Naomi with the latter still having no luck. Everything breaks down and a Nikki distraction lets Alicia hit the ax kick for the pin on Tamina at 2:55.
Ryback doesn’t like how Seth Rollins has been acting as champion, including how he ran away on Monday. Tonight, Ryback will show Rollins how a champion acts because there is no running and hiding.
Ryback vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title and both guys come out alone. Ryback shoves him out to the floor with ease to start and Rollins is already frustrated. Back in and some knees to the chest only earn Rollins a thirty second delayed vertical suplex. Seth kicks him off the apron though and nails a nice suicide dive, only to come back in using Brock’s jump to the apron. Man this guy has some guts.
Seth’s chinlock is quickly countered into a Backpack Stunner and the low superkick is countered into a powerbomb. It’s Rollins’ turn to counter though as he escapes Shell Shock and kicks Ryback in the head. Instead of covering though he walks out, but Ryback throws him onto the floor a few times. The threat of a Shell Shock on the floor is enough to make Seth run into the crowd for the countout at 8:11.
Rating: C-. I’ve seen worse. Ryback is really starting to find his groove as the upper midcard guy who can dabble in the main event when he needs to. He’s already a solid Intercontinental Champion and a good power guy so why not see how far out he can swim? This was more about the story and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Post match here’s Big Show to double team Ryback but Reigns makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I’m getting really tired of these not terrible yet still totally skippable shows. This is another example of a show that you do not need to watch but won’t hate yourself if you sat through it. In other words, meh. That’s Smackdown in a nutshell: it exists and mostly doesn’t suck. That’s hardly a ringing endorsement but what else is there to say about it?
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Bo Dallas – Dirty Deeds
Rusev b. Fandango – Accolade
Roman Reigns b. Big Show via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered
Titus O’Neil b. Big E. – Clash of the Titus
Alicia Fox/Brie Bella b. Naomi/Tamina – Ax kick to Tamina
Ryback b. Seth Rollins via countout
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
