NXT Date: June 3, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
This is an interesting time for NXT as one of their biggest stories isn’t taking place on NXT. Instead, NXT Champion Kevin Owens has been called up to the main roster and even defeated John Cena clean on pay per view in his debut match. It doesn’t help that he’s feuding with a bunch of people here in NXT as well. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is all about Owens beating Cena at Elimination Chamber.
General Manager William Regal has an announcement tonight.
Tyler Breeze vs. Adam Rose
Fans: “WE WANT KRUGER!” Rose takes him into the corner to start and nails some loud chops, followed by a headlock takeover: rest hold. Back up and Breeze nails a great dropkick to put Rose on the floor. That goes nowhere as Rose backdrops him to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Rose putting on a sleeper for a good while until Breeze fights out and kicks him in the chest. Breeze, wrestling like a face here, nails some running forearms in the corner but gets caught in a spinebuster, which Rose transitions into a Boston crab for a nice spot. Breeze crawls over to the ropes and comes back with the Beauty Shot for the pin at 12:01.
Rating: C+. Breeze is one of those characters who is going to be turned face just due to how well he works in the ring and there isn’t much NXT can do to stop it. This was a much better match than I was expecting, especially considering Rose is way past his expiration date at this point.
Solomon Crowe is glad Joe was there last week and promises to be back and better than ever.
Dana Brooke has been at the Arnold Classic and will be back soon.
Eva Marie is brought to the stage for a chat and MY GOODNESS the fans do not want to see her. The YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants stop her cold but she says she’ll wait. Eva was at Takeover to watch the great women’s wrestling and that’s why she’s here now. She wants to compete with the best and they’re right here in NXT. I know she’s been training more, but she has a huge hill to overcome to get anywhere.
Regal’s announcement is that on the big 4th of July show with Brock Lesnar in action, Balor will challenge Kevin Owens for the NXT Title in Japan, and it will air live on the WWE Network. Oh man that could be awesome if they air the whole show but it sounds like just the NXT Title match.
Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss
Carmella goes right at her with three straight takedowns and right hands every time. Bliss manages to drop her face first onto the buckle for two before cranking on a cravate. Back up and Carmella hits some running forearms, only to get caught in a rollup with a hand grabbing the ropes to give Bliss the pin at 3:34.
Rating: D+. This is where NXT’s logical booking shines. It’s clear that they’re setting up a six person tag and what better way to set it up than to have the girls getting there for a bit? Bliss has transitioned into this new role perfectly and the character change is so jarring that it works very well.
Rhyno says he’s back to go after the top contender in Finn Balor. Tonight he’s a Gore away from being one step closer to being NXT Champion.
Video on Sami Zayn’s shoulder surgery, which fixed a torn rotator cuff.
Vaudevillains vs. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis
I had been wondering what happened to Louis. The crazy Louis starts with Gotch as the fans are very happy to have the Vaudevillains back. It’s quickly off to English for a manly knee to the ribs (Fans: “THAT WAS MANLY!”) but Jordan comes in for a suplex to take over. We hit the reverse chinlock on English to slow things down. Louis tags himself in, much to Jordan’s annoyance, and puts on a chinlock of his own. English fights up and makes the hot tag to Gotch for a quick Whirling Dervish and the pin on Marcus at 5:16.
Rating: D+. So the Vaudevillains seem to be faces as well. That’s not the worst idea in the world as you can put them against Blake and Murphy when Enzo and Cass are done with them. That’s one of the places where NXT shines: they set something up for when the current feud is done and they can transition right into the new feud. I miss that kind of well done and planned out booking. The match was nothing special and was mostly spent in a chinlock. I’m assuming Jordan will go partner hunting for the next few weeks.
Video on Sasha Banks being all Bossy.
Finn Balor is ready for Rhyno.
Finn Balor vs. Rhyno
Feeling out process to start until Rhyno just runs Balor over with a shoulder. Rhyno goes up top but gets kicked out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Rhyno putting on a body scissors to slow Balor down. Rhyno mocks Balor’s signature pose before putting on a chinlock.
That goes nowhere as Finn comes back with a middle rope forearm but the reverse lifting DDT is countered into a spinebuster for two. Frustration is setting in for Rhyno and the Pele makes it even worse. The Sling Blade connects but the Coup de Grace misses. The Gore misses as well though and Balor grabs a quick rollup for the surprise pin at 12:10.
Rating: C+. I liked this better than I was expecting to with Balor being able to adapt to Rhyno’s simple yet effective power style. That’s the perk of having someone like Rhyno around: he can work well with anyone and you can easily build him back up by having him squash jobbers, only to lose again to someone like Balor. Nice little match here.
Rhyno Gores Balor on the stage to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This show would best be summed up as recharging. You have the Vaudevillains returning and Breeze acting more like a face, along with setting up some feuds for the future. This is something you come to expect from NXT as they hit Takeover, have a week off, and then start getting back on track to the middle of the road feuds. Owens vs. Balor in Tokyo should be awesome and the fans are going to eat it up.
Results
Tyler Breeze b. Adam Rose – Beauty Shot
Alexa Bliss b. Carmella – Rollup while holding the ropes
Vaudevillains b. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis – Whirling Dervish to Louis
Finn Balor b. Rhyno – Rollup
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Nitro #222 Date: January 10, 2000
Location: Marine Midland Arena, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 8,990
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay
How can this already be the last Nitro before Souled Out? With all the nonsense that goes on around here these days, it’s very hard to keep up with the time frame. It doesn’t help that they keep changing things around as Russo continues to lose influence. Oddly enough that loss has power has coincided with my headaches subsiding after these shows. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Terry Funk getting beaten up over and over by the NWO. Suddenly Ric Flair is the smartest man in wrestling.
Terry Funk, Larry Zbyszko, Arn Anderson and Paul Orndorff arrive. This is really their big solution to Goldberg’s injury? A lineup of wrestlers who were veterans eight years earlier?
Tag Team Titles: Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Kidman/Konnan vs. David Flair/Crowbar
Flair and Crowbar are defending. Falls count anywhere, likely due to this being close to ECW territory. The Animals and Revolution start brawling before the champions get out here so David and Crowbar are late to the fight. With Shane sitting in on commentary and demanding to only be referred to as the Franchise, Crowbar lays Kidman out with a sitout gordbuster.
It’s time to get the weapons and they might as well start piping in the ECW chants already. Flair and Crowbar take over with their weapons as the Revolution destroys Rey in the aisle. In the insanity, Douglas and Malenko put Mysterio on a table so Saturn can channel his inner New Jack for a splash from the balcony. Saturn is broken in half (though nowhere near as badly as Rey) so David comes over and pins him to retain.
Rating: E. I think you know what that stands for. Let’s see: no wrestling in sight, a bunch of weapons, falls count anywhere, a huge dive out of the balcony through someone on a table. As usual, WCW has no idea what it’s trying to be so it just rips off another promotion’s ideas step for step.
Tony tells us that Terry Funk is booking the show on the fly tonight so they have no idea what the matches will be. I actually kind of like the idea as they often make matches throughout the night so why not just admit that you’re doing it?
Recap of Harlem Heat splitting. That would be the 2000 split in case you’re confused with all the other splits they’ve had over the years.
The NWO gives Scott Steiner some women of questionable character for a birthday present.
We look back at the ending to the opener. Mysterio leaves in an ambulance, along with the Animals.
Steiner goes into a room with three of the women, promising the rest will have a turn later.
Here’s Oklahoma to continue his anti-woman crusade. Oh geez can we go back to the New Jack imitations? He insults women and wants them all to stay in the kitchen where they belong, except for an open challenge right now.
Oklahoma vs. Asya
Well who else was it going to be? She shoves him down and knocks off his hat so Oklahoma nails her from behind, knocking it out to the floor. Asya slams him down and here’s Madusa, with blue hair, as Oklahoma nails Asya with a bottle of barbecue sauce. Madusa takes a broom to the head and Oklahoma takes the belt.
Juventud Guerrera, Psychosis, Kidman, Rey Mysterio, Dean Malenko, Lenny Lane, La Parka. There’s no reason I’m listing these names off. They just happened to come to my mind.
Here are Funk, Zbyszko, Anderson and Orndorff with something to say. Funk says Nash’s powerbomb on Thunder is nowhere near enough and he pulled these three men off the unemployment line to help him fight this battle. They’re the Old Age Outlaws (egads) but they’re more than young enough to take care of the NWO.
Arn talks about wanting to get some revenge the old fashioned way, Zbyszko bores the crowd by talking about tradition and Orndorff talks about the talent from the Power Plant that he helped train. Why the Power Plant guys aren’t in this spot isn’t exactly clear. It’s also not clear why this story continues as the crowd is eerily silent.
Cue the NWO to make the obvious old jokes. Nash is looking forward to being the Commissioner on Sunday but Funk says he’s still in charge tonight. Like for instance, tonight Jarrett, in a Tennessee Titans jersey for some cheap heat, is going to be in three matches: a regular match, a Bunkhouse Brawl and a cage match. The title won’t be on the line or anything, but I guess that’s out of respect for Benoit. Speaking of Benoit, he’ll be refereeing all three matches, which will be against some of Funk’s close friends.
As for the rest of the NWO, Hart will defend against Nash and if they don’t fight, both guys are suspended for a year. Hart and Nash don’t mind the threat and say they’ll take the year off. You know, because they don’t care about wrestling. Steiner swears a lot, but since he isn’t cleared to wrestle, Funk is going to wash his mouth out with soap.
Let’s stop and take a look at this for a bit. Here’s what we have in this story:
NWO
Bret Hart – Debuted in the WWF in 1985, fifteen year veteran on the national stage
Kevin Nash – Debuted in WCW in 1990, ten year veteran on the national stage
Scott Steiner – Debuted in WCW in 1989, eleven year veteran on the national stage
Jeff Jarrett – Debuted in the WWF in 1993, seven year veteran on the national stage
Now let’s look at the old guys.
Old Age Outlaws
Terry Funk – 54, debuted in 1965, lost the NWA World Title twenty five years ago
Arn Anderson – 41, debuted in 1982, retired as a regular wrestled three years ago
Paul Orndorff – 50, debuted in 1976, retired as a regular wrestler four years ago, hit his peak thirteen years ago
Larry Zbyszko – 48, debuted in 1973, retired as a regular wrestler five years ago, hit his peak twenty years ago
So we have Terry Funk as the only active wrestler, with Larry Zbyszko probably being the healthiest as he retired from active competition in 1994 and has wrestled three matches since. Anderson and Orndorff can’t wrestle and Zbyszko didn’t, so we’re left with Terry Funk, who first retired in 1983, fighting the entire NWO. This is their main event storyline with Benoit as the young guy fighting the midcard champion instead of fighting for the World Title.
How is this supposed to appeal to younger fans? I get how the older generation would appeal to older fans or really big time fans, but even they can only hang with this for so long. The younger fans though see these old guys hogging the spots that the younger guys should be having.
Orndorff mentioned training eight people at the Power Plant. Why not bring them up? You have one of the best talkers of all time in Arn Anderson and two very good talkers in Funk and Orndorff. What WCW needed was a fresh batch of main event talent. You might even say they need a revolution to take over that part of the card.
Instead, guys like Benoit, Malenko, Saturn and Douglas are busy chasing Janitor Jim Duggan around and trying to make him denounce America because they view themselves as a sovereign nation and hate this country while Oklahoma is chasing the Cruiserweight Title and a freakshow tag team like David Flair and Crowbar holding the Tag Team Titles because David is nuts after something about his dad sleeping with Kimberly. Booker T. on the other hand is busy splitting up with Stevie Ray again.
There is no one to cheer for right now and the best solution is to bring in people who used to be over and have them give the rub to….themselves. Yeah Benoit is around and they mentioned him, but you don’t see them working together or helping each other out because the solution is to just have them talk about tradition, much like Vince McMahon did in the early days of his war against Steve Austin. That’s WCW’s big solution to get people to cheer: act like one of the greatest heel characters of all time against the cool heels. It’s like they’re taking every possible bad idea and running with it.
Post break, Funk tells Arn to go find someone.
Arn looks into a limo but finds Kimberly instead of whomever he was looking for.
Video on Page vs. Bagwell.
Gene calls out Page and Bagwell but the control room can be heard telling him that they need a bit more because the intro didn’t go long enough. Is that some massive rib that I just don’t get? That stuff only started when Russo arrived and I have no idea how it’s supposed to be interesting or how the production team could possibly be that inept. Anyway, Gene asks them to be civil for five minutes and we have a countdown clock on the screen.
They talk a lot of trash and Buff insists he and Kimberly are just friends. Apparently Buff and Kimberly have great sexual chemistry (Buff’s words) but Page has been hearing that Buff has been telling the boys that Kimberly has a sexy birthmark. That’s for Page’s eyes only, but Buff says everyone has seen it. That earns him a right hand to the jaw so Buff pulls out a police baton that he just happened to have with him. So much for the countdown clock.
Nash and Bret insist that they won’t sit down. I’m sure there won’t be a swerve whatsoever.
Arn finds another car.
Jeff Jarrett vs. ???
Benoit is guest referee and this is a Bunkhouse Brawl because this show can’t remember the match order Funk made fifteen minutes ago. The mystery opponent is…..George Steele, age 61 and with five nationally televised matches since 1988. Steele brings weapons to the ring and swings away to keep Jeff from getting in. George stops to eat a turnbuckle but gets guitared in the head. Not that it matters as Arn Anderson comes in and plants Jeff with a spinebuster to give George the pin. As in a single spinebuster is enough to pin the United States Champion. Benoit served no purpose here.
After a break, Jarrett tells Nash to throw Hart off the team.
Here’s Stevie Ray to tell Gene to leave so he can do the interview himself. He talks about the history of the team and how Booker won the TV Title because that’s all WCW wanted him to have (huh?). Stevie wants to fight his brother one on one on Sunday because the show is already named after Booker. This brings out Booker and Midnight with Booker saying he’ll never fight his brother. That earns him a slap to the face and Booker agrees to the match.
Arn goes to another car. I’m assuming these are Jarrett’s opponents.
Jeff Jarrett vs. ???
It’s Tito Santana, a spry 46 here and just six and a half years from wrestling on a major national stage, in El Matador gear. This is a Dungeon Match, meaning it’s pin, submission or your opponent leaving the ring. Jeff beats up Orndorff on the way to the ring and mocks the Buffalo Bills.
Tito takes over to start with a nice dropkick and the flying forearm before going after the knee. Jeff kicks him away and Tito has to try three times to jump over the top rope to the apron. I love Santana but this is just pitiful. Benoit and Jarrett argue before Jeff nails Santana with the Stroke, only to stop to argue with one of the Bills. The distraction lets Orndorff hit the piledriver (great looking one too) to give Tito the pin.
Here’s Tank Abbott to call out Doug Dillinger. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? It’s bad enough that we have to put up with this goon who Russo loves for no apparent reason but now we get the big showdown with the head of security? Abbott tells Dillinger to take a shot, Doug does, Tank drops him and Jerry Flynn comes out for the save.
I’m sure you already know the story of what’s going to happen to the World Title situation in the next few days. Tank Abbott was Russo’s big idea to get the World Title, straight off a feud with Doug Dillinger and Jerry Flynn. Putting Rick Steiner over Ric Flair back in 1988 looks BRILLIANT now.
Jimmy Snuka arrives. To save some space in the match, 56 here and other than a one off appearance at Survivor Series 1996, last appeared with a major national promotion (ECW was still regional during his run) in 1991. The youngest opponent for Jarrett tonight is a 46 year old who hadn’t wrestled in the WWF or WCW since 1993. The Revolution, the Filthy Animals, Booker, and any other young and talented wrestler aren’t important enough for this story.
Benoit is out cold in the back.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Jimmy Snuka
In a cage. Jeff hammers away to start and sends Snuka into the cage a few times. Cue referee Benoit but Jarrett shoves him away from the cage door. That earns Jarrett some chops and a whip into the cage but Jeff sends him into the buckle. Jeff goes outside and gets the guitar but Zbyszko and Orndorff come in to clean house. Snuka and Benoit go up to the top of the cage for a Superfly Splash and swan dive, giving Jimmy the pin.
Rating: N/A. This was a segment disguised as a match and yeah the dives looked cool, but Jeff’s concussion wasn’t so great. This would knock him out of the US Title match on Sunday, but at least we got three WWF legends out there in their old territory so Russo could relive his childhood. Having the US Champion lose three times in one night to three guys who won’t be there next week while getting beaten up by a bunch of guys who can’t/won’t wrestle a match is just the price you pay for Russo’s entertainment.
WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Bret Hart
Bret is defending, but first of all we have to cut to the back where Funk actually does wash Steiner’s mouth out with soap. How Zbyszko and Orndorff managed to restrain Steiner isn’t clear. I’m so glad we got to see this segment. It just made the entire show. Bret is in an NWO shirt, tennis shoes and jean shorts. And he’s known for five moves? Dang who knew Cena stole so much from Bret?
Nash goes after him to start and drives knees in the corner but Bret comes back with right hands. This is already one of the longest matches Nash has had in weeks. A lot of choking ensues until Bret gets in a kick to the leg. Snake Eyes stops him again for two but a low blow puts Nash down again. Bret misses the middle rope elbow and both guys are down. The side slam plants Bret and Nash bails to the floor for a chair. Cue Arn with a steel pipe and a referee shirt to nail Nash in the back, which I think means a no contest.
Rating: D+. And that’s it for Bret as his concussions were so severe that he wouldn’t wrestle another match for over ten years. In true Bret fashion though, he carried Nash to a watchable match and worked at the leg a bit before the non-finish. This actually wasn’t terrible and was by far the longest main event in a few weeks.
Post match here’s Sid (remember him?) as the cage is lowered. Bret is planted with a chokeslam and powerbomb so Arn can do a fast three count. Funk comes out with a flaming branding iron to burn Nash right on the singlet to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. This show comes down to how do you like your bad booking. You can have total insane booking that makes absolutely no sense and goes so far off the rails that you forget you’re watching a wrestling show, or you can have the booking that appeals to the over 50 audience without a good payoff and the US Champion getting pinned three times in an hour and a half.
This show didn’t make me want to see Souled Out, as the majority of this episode was to build up two stories for Sunday, one of which will comprise three matches. The fact that it’s going to be two out of three falls wasn’t mentioned, but why should a little detail like that get in the way of seeing the US Champion lose three falls in a night? This company is in a creative free fall at the moment, but they seem to think they’re going the right way and everyone else is crazy.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Checked it out today and while I won’t go through it step by step, there was one thing that caught my attention.Near the end where Austin and Heyman teased a match against Lesnar next year at Wrestlemania (no I don’t think it’s happening but there’s always a chance), Austin turned into the Rattlesnake in the blink of an eye. That sort of thing always amazes me as they just morph into a character like it’s nothing. Foley is great at this sort of thing too and it goes along with what you hear old timers talk about: you’re not playing a character. You ARE that character. It’s a very different way of portraying someone and the old way is almost always the most effective.
Monday Night Raw – June 1, 2015: Stop And Think For A Second
Monday Night Raw Date: June 1, 2015
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.
We had some interesting developments last night at Elimination Chamber with Kevin Owens pinning John Cena completely clean in the middle of the ring and Dean Ambrose winning the match by DQ but leaving with Seth Rollins’ World Title anyway. There are now two weeks left before Money in the Bank, and we already know six of the competitors in the ladder match. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap only focuses on the World Title match.
Here’s the full Authority to open things up. Stephanie asks the fans how they should punish Dean Ambrose for what he did last night. Maybe it should be a fine or a suspension, but maybe they should just get rid of him altogether. HHH calls Ambrose out to the ring but gets Roman Reigns instead. Roman says Dean isn’t here tonight and he might not be back again unless he gets one more match against Rollins. He wants one more match for the title and he wants it to be a ladder match.
Reigns lists off all the people that have beaten Rollins and says he might be the worst WWE Champion of all time. That’s too far for Seth and the rematch is on for Monday in the Bank. He’ll do it all by himself too because he doesn’t need the Authority. Rollins storms off and Stephanie goes beast mode on Reigns (hide your balls!) until HHH calls her off. HHH brings up Reigns being in the Money in the Bank ladder match and says Roman has to earn his spot in the match right now.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: King Barrett vs. Roman Reigns
They want to take the spot away from Reigns and this is the best they can do? Wait, wouldn’t the Authority have selected the people in the match in the first place? Reigns is already in the match but the spot is on the line. Barrett tries a rollup to start but Roman takes him down with a headlock. The King escapes a Samoan drop and throws Reigns to the apron, only to get kicked in the chest a few times. Back in and a clothesline puts Barrett on the floor but Barrett jumps over the steps and whips Reigns into them as we take a break.
We come back with Barrett holding a chinlock before he avoids a charge in the corner and kicks Reigns in the ribs. Barrett cranks on both arms with a knee in Roman’s back before switching back to the regular chinlock. Roman fights up again and Reigns nails a Samoan drop before winning a slugout. Against a former bare knuckle fighter of course. Winds of Change gets two for the King but the Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup into a sitout powerbomb for two. The second attempt at a Bull Hammer misses and Reigns nails the spear for the pin at 14:10.
Rating: C. Well at least it wasn’t Big Show. This is another example of having a match with a stipulation that is there for no reason other than to fill in time before the obvious ending. I’m not a fan of this kind of TV show more often than not (and yes there are exceptions) and seeing Barrett lose didn’t help things. The match wasn’t bad though as Barrett can wrestle a good one, even though there’s no reason to believe his push is going to last.
Post break Roman Reigns runs into the Authority and is told he has to win another qualifying match against Mark Henry. So it’s the Chris Jericho Intercontinental Title story from 2000, also involving Stephanie.
Nikki Bella is honored to be the longest reigning champion in WWE today when Paige comes in and asks for a one on one match for some point in the future. Nikki says let’s do it tonight and Paige is game.
Here’s the new Intercontinental Champion Ryback with something to say. No one likes an emotional Big Guy, (I did. The speech he gave about his injury was the best stuff he’s ever done) but he’s honored to be the new Intercontinental Champion. That’s enough talking though so it’s time for his first title defense.
Intercontinental Title: Ryback vs. Miz
We even get big match intros. The bell is about to ring…..and Big Show is back. Well at least it’s in the midcard. He KO’s Miz and says if anyone is beating Ryback for that title, it’s going to be him. Ryback calls himself the Big Guy but he has nothing on the Big Show.
Here’s Kevin Owens for his victory speech. An interesting note here: Owens has complained about Cena having so many shirts and is now in his third different shirt in three appearances on the main roster. That’s a very nice touch. Owens brags about doing everything he ever says he’s going to do, whether it’s winning the NXT Title, taking out Sami Zayn, or beating John Cena in the middle of the ring.
Last night he talked to his wife who was proud of him but his son is still a big John Cena fan. Cena is portrayed as a living superhero and while Owens was traveling the world for ten years, Cena became the hero to his son that Owens should have been. He became Super Cena. Well last night, he beat Super Cena and now the words hustle, loyalty and respect are being uttered by a shell of a man. Owens is going to beat him again in two weeks and he’s going to make sure that his son watches every minute of it. A real role model is the kind of person who promises something and then delivers, just like he does.
Cue Cena for the big showdown. Cena gets right to the point: he got beat last night. Until Owens ran his mouth, Cena was about to come down here and hand Owens the US Title because he earned it last night. But now, Owens doesn’t deserve either the US or NXT Title. Owens is so worried about being a role model that he doesn’t even realize he’s not a real man.
According to Owens, his son is a Cena fan because of the WWE machine. If that’s the case, Owens’ son would be wearing a Funkasaurus shirt and want to grow up to play in the XFL. We hit Serious Cena mode as he talks about how the fans believe in him because he’s for real, including the kid in the crowd holding up a sign saying “I’m beating cancer” and wearing a John Cena t-shirt. Cena: “You keep fighting man. And that’s from me.”
The three words that define Owens shouldn’t be Fight Owens Fight, but Never Give Up. Cena wants to give Owens a bit of advice from a man to a non-man. In two weeks, Owens is going to have to explain why a really good wrestler got beaten up by a man. Owens teases a fight but walks away. That’s one of the best promos I’ve seen in years. Go find this and watch it in full.
New Day comes out to brag about their win. Xavier Woods says this city now has champions they should be proud of, because the Spurs are old and Tim Duncan needs to retire. The New Day is on fire and in two weeks, Kofi is going to become Mr. Money in the Bank. CHA-CHING! Kofi: “That’s a cash register!” Big E. says it would mean they’re all Mr. Money in the Bank because NEW DAY ROCKS!
Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler
No exaggeration: these two have fought close to thirty times on TV alone. Lana is out with Dolph and that’s exactly who the fans want. They grapple to start until Kofi does his double leapfrog and stops Dolph with a kick to the face. We hit the chinlock on Dolph but he fights up and hits a quick neckbreaker. Dolph misses the superkick but grabs the running DDT for two, followed by a quick rollup for the pin on Kofi at 3:16.
Rating: C. What can I say? These two have fought each other such a ridiculous amount of times (I can’t imagine any pairing has fought more times, and yes that includes Cena vs. Edge) that there’s almost nothing left for them to do out there. They kept this short enough though and it was fine enough to help build to the ladder match.
New Day comes in but the Prime Time Players make the save.
Prime Time Players/Dolph Ziggler vs. New Day
Joined in progress after a break with Young hitting a seated senton on Kofi but getting tripped by Woods, allowing Big E. to hit a belly to belly. Off to Kofi who is sent into the corner for a seated dropkick before it’s off to the chinlock. The actual trio triple teams Darren and Big E. knocks Dolph off the apron for good measure.
E. takes too long running the ropes though and splashes Young’s knees, setting up the hot tag to Titus. A powerslam gets two on Woods with Big E. making the save as everything breaks down. Titus boots Woods in the face and Dolph adds a superkick to Kofi, setting up a pumphandle powerslam to pin Woods at 5:36.
Rating: C+. Just a six man here to set up the Players as the next challengers and there’s nothing wrong with that. We’ve covered Tyson/Cesaro as the challengers so it’s time to advance on to someone else, as the tag division….well there actually is one at the moment. This did what it was supposed to and that’s all you can ask it to do.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns
Wasn’t Henry a face last night? These turns are getting slower. Again, Reigns is already in but has to defend his spot here. Roman pounds away to start but Henry takes him over to the ropes for some choking. Reigns seems to be having issues with his left eye after Henry gave him a big right hand. That’s fine with Roman as he comes back with some clotheslines in the corner and a shoulder to put Henry down. A Samoan drop sends Mark outside and Roman nails a Superman Punch for good measure, giving him the countout win at 3:46.
Rating: D+. Power brawl here with Reigns’ story being very clear tonight. Henry is one of those guys that is only there for one purpose and it doesn’t mean he’s the most interesting guy in the world to watch. At least they aren’t hiding the fact that Reigns isn’t done tonight and that’s a fine story.
Post match Henry gives him the World’s Strongest Slam and a big splash.
After a break, Reigns, Authority, Bray Wyatt is next.
Various wrestlers audition to be the face of Sonic Shakes. Hilarity ensues.
Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella
Nikki is defending and they cut away during her entrance because WWE doesn’t get why she’s out there. Paige gets shoved into the ropes to start and Nikki does some jumping jacks. Off to some pushups before Nikki drives Paige into the corner. Nikki cranks on both arms before hooking a leg lock of all things.
Paige gets to the ropes and kicks Nikki to the floor, allowing her to do some situps. The PTO is countered and Nikki gets two off the Alabama Slam. The Rack Attack is countered and Nikki goes to the middle rope, only to get pulled down with a Rampaige. Nikki rolls outside and they actually bust out Twin Magic with Brie coming out from under the ring for a small package to retain at 5:48 because WWE referees are stupid.
Rating: C-. Well they turned face with no explanation so why not turn heel again with no explanation? I love how they did a whole Total Divas episode about how they don’t look the same and now the Bella with lighter skin, less plastic enhancement and difference hair is still a dead ringer for her sister. Only in WWE because the script says so. Nikki doing exercises isn’t a bad gimmick though.
Sheamus vs. Randy Orton
So yeah Orton is back after not being mentioned for two weeks. Orton grabs a headlock to start and rolls Sheamus up for two, sending the pale one out to the floor. Back in and they slug it out before both guys go outside with Orton dropping him back first on the announcers’ table.
We take a break and come back with Sheamus in control and dropping a middle rope knee for two. A chinlock doesn’t get him very far though as Orton belly to backs him down to escape. The ten forearms are countered and Orton nails the powerslam, followed by the elevated DDT. An RKO attempt is countered and Sheamus knees him out to the floor. Orton throws him into the timekeeper’s area but Sheamus nails him with a chair for the DQ at 12:16.
Rating: D+. Gah I hate these matches where they just pair up people who are in a big match down the line. It’s the same stuff that got annoying last week with the Elimination Chamber people and it doesn’t help that Sheamus and Orton do not have good matches together. They’re not horrible but I’ve never seen these two do anything interesting.
Sheamus Brogue Kicks Orton and throws him over the announcers’ table post match.
Rusev says he is a broken man with a broken spirit but he’ll get it all back. Yo Rusev! Get in here so we can keep ruining you because we want monsters to be three dimensional characters or some garbage like that!
Kevin Owens will have an NXT Open Challenge this Thursday on Smackdown.
Here’s Bo Dallas to say he tried to help Neville but now he just wants to hurt him.
Bo Dallas vs. Neville
Rematch from last night where Neville won. Bo hammers him in the corner to start and throws him out to the floor. Back in and we hit the cravate with Bo yelling at Neville and then quieting down to call some spots. Neville fights up with some forearms, a kick to the head and the Red Arrow for the pin at 3:09.
Rating: C-. Yeah whatever man. Just get on to the next match so we can finally end this show. This was a shortened version of the match we saw last night and Dallas is ready to move on to something else. At least it wasn’t Neville against someone in the ladder match to freshen things up a bit.
Tough Enough videos.
Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
For the third time, Reigns is already in. Roman slugs away to start but Bray runs him down and slows the pace. The Authority comes out to watch as Bray stops a comeback with the running cross body. Roman bails for a minute but Bray takes his head off with a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Bray still in control until Reigns explodes out of the corner with a clothesline.
After a quick trip to the floor with Reigns sending him into the barricade, Bray comes back with a big clothesline of his own for two. They trade slaps until the Samoan drop puts Bray down. The Superman Punch connects and here come Kane and the Stooges. Kane gets up on the apron but the distraction into Sister Abigail doesn’t work as Bray is sent into Kane, setting up the spear for the pin at 13:14.
Rating: C. Nice power brawl again but did they really need to have Bray take the loss here? I hate to say it, but this was the perfect spot for Kane. Wyatt won at Payback, then lost to Ambrose last week and now to Reigns here and for what? To advance a main event feud when the Authority has minions? As usual, this company refuses to think anything through.
Post match the Authority surrounds the ring but Ambrose comes out (to a MONSTER pop). He actually gives Rollins the title back, only to hit him with Dirty Deeds before leaving with Reigns to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The show was far better than last week but this was one of those episodes where the show felt like it was going on for nine hours. It just kept going and going and you could see they had nothing to go on so they were just throwing stuff out there. This is a show that would have been really entertaining if you cut out an hour. Stuff like Ziggler vs. Kofi, the Divas Title (with that STUPID ending), Neville vs. Dallas and maybe even Orton vs. Sheamus could have easily been cut to get us down to a much shorter and better paced show, but such are the perils of three hours every Monday. Not horrible, but insufferable.
Results
Roman Reigns b. King Barrett – Spear
Dolph Ziggler b. Kofi Kingston – Rollup
Dolph Ziggler/Prime Time Players b. New Day – Pumphandle powerslam to Woods
Roman b. Mark Henry via countout
Nikki Bella b. Paige – Brie Bella switched with Nikki and pinned Paige with a small package
Randy Orton b. Sheamus via DQ – Sheamus hit Orton with a chair
Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow
Roman Reigns b. Bray Wyatt – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
At age 54 due to unknown causes. The Fantastics were my favorite NWA tag team (aside from the Road Warriors of course) and Tommy is the first person I’ve ever heard of using the move that would become the Killswitch/Unprettier (Tomikaze).
Wrestling Wars Podcast Episode 10
Come enjoy us breaking down Elimination Chamber as well as discussing a topic that might get some people talking: has Cena surpassed Austin?
Elimination Chamber 2015 Date: May 29, 2015
Location: American Bank Center, Corpus Christi, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Jerry Lawler
It’s another pay per view just two weeks after Payback but the card has been put together fairly well this time. The main event this time is WWE World Champion Seth Rollins defending against Dean Ambrose, plus the Tag Team Titles and Intercontinental Title being decided inside the Chamber, both for the first time ever. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Zack Ryder vs. Stardust
Bonus match. Ryder had a decent match against Cena on Monday so it’s nice to see him get a PPV spot, even if it’s something like this. Stardust hits some shoulders to start but Zack punches him to the floor for a quick baseball slide. Back in and the announcers talk about the World Title match as Stardust cranks on the arm. That goes nowhere so let’s talk about Love Boat.
Ryder fights back up as the announcers transition into a discussion of Arrow’s Stephen Amell wanting to fight Stardust at some point. JBL promises us a new move from Stardust called the Queen’s Crossbow (Arrow reference), which winds up being Cross Rhodes and it puts Ryder out at 5:53.
Rating: D. Well so much for Ryder. He had a nice little comeback and the fans liked him, but we need to keep Stardust strong for a match with a celebrity which is probably coming at Summerslam. Nothing match here and that’s the problem with pre-show matches. Ryder could be very good in a midcard role but this is what we’re stuck with instead. Joy indeed.
It’s time for MizTV with special guest Daniel Bryan. We look at Bryan vacating the title and Miz said that was hard even for him. In his time away, Bryan has written a book but his career isn’t over. Miz thinks he can help Bryan with marketing and merchandising and it’s only going to cost him 10% of the profit.
Bryan passes but promises he’ll be back. Miz wants to slap him in the face but knows he can’t so he has some advice for Bryan…..which we don’t hear as Bryan thinks it’s going to be boring. Therefore, he’s brought someone who also thinks Miz is boring: Axelmania and Macho Mandow. House is quickly cleaned and the good guys celebrate. Nothing to see here as it was just a big commercial for Bryan’s book.
The opening video sets up both Chamber matches with a focus on the structure itself. Owens vs. Cena gets some hype as well.
Tag Team Titles: Lucha Dragons vs. Ascension vs. Los Matadores vs. Prime Time Players vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. New Day
Inside the Elimination Chamber, no tags required, New Day is defending, all three champions will be allowed in and we have four minute intervals. Two teams start and one more enters every minute. As the name suggests, it’s elimination rules and the last team standing wins the titles. Lucha Dragons and Ascension get things going (these teams can never escape each other) with the Dragons hammering on the power guys as fast as they can but Ascension starts slugging Cara down in the corner.
Sin escapes and throws Kalisto up onto the New Day pod but they try to pull him down inside. Cara gets slammed down but Kalisto kicks both Ascension members down, allowing Sin Cara to get up and hit a HUGE Swanton off a pod to crush Viktor. Kalisto loads up a dive of his own but New Day pulls him down to break it up, giving us New Day doing the LUCHA dance. Cesaro and Kidd are in next and Cesaro starts busting out the European uppercuts, including Tyson launching Konnor into Swiss Death for two.
Kalisto is still on top of the pod until Cesaro superplexes him down and Kidd adds a springboard elbow drop for two with Cara having to dive in for a save. Only Kidd and Cesaro are on their feet and Kidd slaps the Sharpshooter on Viktor but Konnor breaks it up. The La Mistica mat slam plants Konnor as Lawler calls JBL JR by mistake. Cara powerbombs Kidd as Kalisto is on top of the Prime Time Players’ pod.
Los Matadores, with Torito on top of their pod, are in third with the bull hitting a good looking hurricanrana on Konnor. During the entrance, Kalisto has climbed to the top of the Chamber itself and drops down onto everyone for one of the biggest crashes (or at least the highest) I’ve ever seen.
Torito gets thrown into Fernando, setting up the Fall of Man on Diego for the first elimination. Did anyone buy Los Matadores as a real threat anyway? Kalisto, thankfully able to walk, climbs the corner but gets pulled down as well for another Fall of Man to get rid of the Dragons. There goes my pick of course. So we have Ascension vs. Kidd/Cesaro at the moment but the Prime Time Players are added….with Ascension nailing them as soon as their pod opens.
Titus fights back and throws both guys into the ring so Young can hit his gutbuster on Viktor for a quick elimination. Things settle down a bit with Titus suplexing Young onto both guys for two, but Cesaro pops up and drills O’Neal with a clothesline. Cesaro loads Young up for a gutwrench superplex but Titus adds a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom for two. New Day comes in to complete the field but Cesaro and Kidd are all over them with a triple suplex.
Things get smart in a hurry as Cesaro and Kidd throw Woods into the pod and shut the door to even things up. The Swing into the dropkick knocks Kofi silly but Young sneaks in to roll Cesaro up for the elimination. It’s the Prime Time Players vs. New Day for the titles and Big E. gets Woods out of the pod to make it 3-2. New Day stomps Titus against the chamber wall and get his head through the chain.
Young fights back and sends Big E shoulder first into the pod with his head hitting the pod for good measure. Everyone is down but Titus frees himself and starts throwing Big E. into the wall. Xavier gets the same treatment and the gutbuster takes out Kofi for two. Big E. is back up and suplexes Darren on the cage floor, only to walk into a powerslam from Titus. Not that it matters though as Trouble in Paradise sets up a triple pin to retain the titles at 19:34.
Rating: B. This was a lot of fun and the best choice they had on the card for an opener. New Day winning will be worth it for the victory promo alone and the more I think about it, the more I like the booking. Any team can say they haven’t gotten a fair shot at them since it was 3-2 so this doesn’t close all the doors for challengers. I love this protecting the losers booking they’ve had lately and it helps so much in places like this.
Rusev is out of the Chamber with a broken foot. No replacement has been announced yet.
Ziggler is getting ready when Lana comes up. Tonight isn’t about showing Rusev up but about getting the title around Ziggler’s waist. Dolph says that after he wins the title, maybe it can be about them.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi vs. Paige
No one is allowed at ringside. Nikki is defending after Paige won a battle royal a few months back but was laid out by Naomi. The champ is quickly taken to the floor and thrown into the announcers’ table, leaving Paige to hit her clotheslines on Naomi. Nikki is quickly back in with a facebuster for two on Paige. The Alabama Slam plants Paige again but Naomi rolls Nikki up for two.
Naomi starts cleaning house and loads Paige up for a belly to back superplex, only to have Nikki come in for a Tower of Doom. The Rack Attack to Paige is broken up with a Rear View for a near fall with Paige making the save. Naomi heads to the corner but gets caught in an electric chair from Paige, only to be countered into a reverse hurricanrana. It didn’t go smoothly but it could have been a lot worse. Not that it matters as Nikki Rack Attacks Naomi to retain at 6:05.
Rating: C. What was I thinking to question Nikki’s title reign of awesomeness that is TOTALLY better than Trish and Lita’s reigns combined? The match was fairly good but again, there’s only so much you can do other than cram in spots with just six minutes. I have no idea where they can go next with Nikki aside from another Brie feud or facing an NXT callup.
We recap Kevin Owens vs. John Cena. Owens answered a Cena open challenge a few weeks back but said he already had the prize he wanted in the NXT Title. He got in a surprise powerbomb on Cena and stepped on the US Title to show how big of a jerk he was. This set up a showdown tonight in a champion vs. champion match.
Kevin Owens vs. John Cena
Alright WWE. This is your chance. You can elevate someone or go with the same old stuff. Owens is very fired up to be in there and actually doesn’t drop to the floor at the bell as is his custom in NXT. A quick shoulder puts Owens down but he takes Cena into the corner and puts a boot in his face. Cena gets punched to the apron so Kevin can rip at his face like a villain should.
The fans chant for NXT and we hit the chinlock. Cena powers up into an AA attempt but Owens calmly escapes and hits a DDT for two. Owens opts to just punch Cena in the face (I love it when people do that) for a bit before a backsplash connects for two more. Back up and Kevin tries a swinging Rock Bottom but Cena counters into a crucifix, only to have Owens slam him down in a kind of Samoan drop for another near fall. The Cannonball gets the same and Owens says it’s time for Johnny boy to give up.
The pop up powerbomb is countered with a leapfrog and Cena initiates his finishing sequence. Cena loads up the AA but gets countered into the pop up powerbomb for a close two, stunning Owens. Kevin gets crotches on top but headbutts Cena down, only to miss a moonsault of all things. The AA gets two (take a shot!) and both guys are down. Owens nails a superkick and tries his own Five Knuckle Shuffle (because he’s that awesome) but Cena pulls him down into the STF.
Cena tries to pull him back to the middle but Owens kicks him away and hits an AA of his own (good one too) for another near fall. Both guys are down again and it’s Cena up first for the two off the top rope Fameasser. Cole calls that patented, but I’m not sure Cena ever filed that paperwork. Back up again and Owens loads up the package piledriver (his pre-WWE finisher) but slams Cena to the side instead of dropping him on his head.
Kevin starts talking more trash before winning a slugout, only to get caught in the springboard Stunner for two. Frustration is setting in so Cena takes him up top for a superplex, only to have Owens counter into a spinning superplex of his own for two. Owens runs to the top for a Swanton for two more and now Kevin is frustrated. Cena nails that big running clothesline and Owens is rocked. John goes for another but walks into the pop up powerbomb for the completely clean pin at 20:03.
Rating: A. My jaw dropped on the pin. This is EXACTLY the way they should have gone as Cena hit him with the best and Owens pinned him in the middle of the ring. The key thing here is Cena isn’t going to lose a thing out of this as he’ll be fine in about two minutes. Owens on the other hand looks like the biggest new deal in years and couldn’t get a bigger rub if they tried. Great, great stuff here and I loved the booking so much.
Owens says he debuted on Raw a few weeks back and started a fight, but tonight he finished it. He has some veteran advice for Cena: it’s time for him to go because his time is way up and THE CHAMP IS HERE!
Pre-show panel chat.
Bo Dallas vs. Neville
Neville has a bad knee coming in, partially thanks to Dallas. The knee is fine enough for Neville to do his flips out of the corner before sending Bo to the floor to avoid a Red Arrow attempt. That’s fine with Neville as he hits a huge moonsault to the floor. Back in and Neville puts on a chinlock (rare sight for a good guy) but Bo gets to the ropes (“LET ME GO!”). He offers peace but starts elbowing Neville in the face and gets two off a running forearm.
Off to a cravate on Neville to slow things way down as the announcers talk about football from the 1960s. Back up and Bo elbows him in the head, only to be sent out to the floor. Bo’s stunned look is great. Neville comes back with kicks to the head and a running forearm, followed by a standing shooting star for two. The Bodog is countered and the Red Arrow connects for the pin at 9:07.
Rating: C-. Nothing great here as it was basically a long TV match. Neville winning was the right call as Bo can be back off another cheesy promo, but Neville gets a nice push with a win he should have gotten. The knee didn’t go anywhere, but at least there was a story coming into the match.
Reigns and Ambrose are in the back when HHH comes in and bans Reigns from ringside. If Reigns interferes, Ambrose will be disqualified. You mean like in any match?
The Chamber is lowered.
Intercontinental Title: Sheamus vs. Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett vs. R-Truth vs. ???
The title is vacant coming in due to Daniel Bryan vacating it due to injury. There are four minute intervals again and Rusev’s replacement is……Mark Henry. Bray Wyatt had been rumored but I like this better as Wyatt isn’t likely winning so why give him another loss? Ziggler and Barrett get things going. They trade rollups to start but Barrett shrugs him down and puts Dolph on the top rope for a kick to the ribs.
We hit a chinlock on Dolph for a bit before he realizes this is the freaking Elimination Chamber and fights back with his dropkick and neckbreaker for two. Barrett sends him into the cage and talks a lot of trash until R-Truth is in third. The King is smart enough to jump Truth before he can get out of the pod and stomps him down. He kicks Truth and Ziggler in the face to keep control but Truth gets back up for the spinning forearm and ax kick.
Barrett rolls away from the cover but Ziggler is back up with a kick to the face for two. Back up and Barrett drives Ziggler through a pod wall, freeing Mark Henry to come in before his entrance. There’s nothing the referee can do because it’s no disqualification, and likely because the show is threatening to run long and they need to save some time. Ryback comes in a few seconds later and runs Henry over for two. Henry stands around as Barrett plants Ziggler with Wasteland, only to break it up at two like the schmuck that he is.
Back up and the parade of finishers eliminates Barrett first because OF COURSE IT DOES! The four in the ring pair off with Ryback stomping Ziggler into the corner and Henry doing the same to Truth. Sheamus is supposed to be in last but the door won’t open. Ryback, Truth and Ziggler trade rollups as they try to fix the door before Henry gets triple teamed. Shell Shock gets rid of Truth and a very delayed suplex plants Ziggler.
Ryback’s Meat Hook is countered by a superkick and all three are down. With all three down, Sheamus takes out the Celtic cross that he had put in the door to keep the door stuck shut. Well that was smart. A Brogue Kick gets rid of Henry in a hurry and we’re down to three. Ziggler counters a suplex into a small package for two but Sheamus counters the running DDT. The second attempt gets two but a quick Brogue Kick gets us down to Sheamus vs. Ryback.
They trade powerslams with Ryback getting the better of it and driving shoulders to the ribs in the corner. The Meat Hook doesn’t work and Sheamus tries to get back in his pod. Ryback picks him up before he can get in, only to have Sheamus counter into White Noise on the cage floor for two. The ten forearms are countered but Sheamus hits the Regal Roll on the cage again. A Brogue Kick is countered into a powerbomb into the ring and Shell Shock gives Ryback his first title at 25:06.
Rating: C+. Well that was a surprise. I didn’t like the action as well as I liked the first one but it was still a fun match. They’ve set up Ryback as never having won a title so this was a good way to pay that story off. Ryback has been pushed pretty strong since returning (ignore the loss at Payback) and this was the right call for a step up.
Daniel Bryan congratulates Ryback and presents him with his new title.
We look at Owens pinning Cena earlier tonight. The rematch is official for Money in the Bank.
Dolph Ziggler, Neville, Roman Reigns, Randy Orton, Kofi Kingston and Sheamus are official for the Money in the Bank ladder match. More will be announced later.
We recap Ambrose vs. Rollins. The theme is that Ambrose made a bad decision by trusting Rollins in the Shield but tonight no one can help him, including his mommy and daddy.
WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose
Dean is challenging but has to deal with Kane and the Stooges at ringside. Rollins grabs a headlock to start but Dean counters into an armbar. Back up and the champ stomps away in the corner until Dean goes back to the arm to take over again. Dean drapes him over the middle rope for a Fameasser but the Stooges offer a distraction so Seth can crotch him into the Tree of Woe.
A huge top rope double stomps gets two on the challenger and Rollins takes over. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a clothesline to put Dean back down. Dean comes back with a sitout Tesshocker (belly to back suplex but he slams Rollins face first instead of dropping him back) for two. The Stooges pull Rollins to the floor but Dean dives through the ropes to take everyone out. Back in and Rollins tries to counter a superplex into a sunset bomb, only to have Dean nail a Cactus Clothesline to put both guys outside again.
More Stooges interference lets Rollins take over again and the top rope knee (really a shin) to the head gets two. Dean finally comes back with a tornado DDT (second person tonight to use that) and the running dropkick against the ropes. A clothesline turns Rollins inside out for two more and the flying standing elbow gets the same.
The Rebound clothesline is countered by a clothesline from the champ and a suicide dive puts Dean down again. Back in and the buckle bomb is countered with a clothesline (we get it) out of the corner but Dean opts to dive on Kane and the Stooges. The referee gets bumped and Dean nails Dirty Deeds, drawing in another official for the pin at 21:48. Lawler: “This may start a new Attitude Era.” Oh shut up.
Rating: C. I don’t buy for a second that this is going to stand so I’m not going to bother treating this very seriously. This felt like a long Raw match instead of something worth watching, and the ending is clearly there to set up a rematch at Money in the Bank. The match was decent but it had the recurring problem of all WWE pay per views: you don’t bother caring about the meat of the match because you’re just waiting on the wacky finish.
And of course it doesn’t count because the first referee says the Stooges pulled him to the floor for a DQ. Dean gets beaten down but Reigns comes down the ramp for a surprise and beats everyone up. Dean and Roman leave with the belt to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show for the most part but this could have been put in a different order to make things flow better. Swapping the Chamber matches would have helped a lot and having Owens vs. Cena later in the card would have been a good move. Still though, for a thrown together show to get people to watch for free and then hope they forget to cancel in the next hour so you get some bonus buys is a decent enough idea. Owens vs. Cena II doesn’t need to happen but you know it’s going to and will likely set up a big showdown at Battleground. Good enough show but mostly nothing worth seeing again.
Results
New Day b. Prime Time Players, Ascension, Los Matadores, Lucha Dragons and Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Trouble in Paradise to O’Neal
Nikki Bella b. Paige and Naomi – Rack Attack to Naomi
Kevin Owens b. John Cena – Pop up powerbomb
Neville b. Bo Dallas – Red Arrow
Ryback b. Mark Henry, King Barrett, Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Sheamus – Shell Shock to Sheamus
Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Elimination Chamber spoiler.Kevin Owens pinned John Cena 100% clean in a match of the year candidate. The future is here.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: May 25, 2015
Oh boy it’s this show. I’ve been putting this off for as long as I can because this show drove me up the walls, down the walls, to the grocery store and then halfway to Oklahoma. It’s very rare to find a show with two different parts that get under my skin this badly but this show managed to pull it off. Let’s get to it.
I’m going to do this one a little bit differently as there are two major pieces I’ll be spending far more of my time on. Therefore, I’ll get those out of the way and then cover the rest of the show. You can probably guess what these two major segments were (hint: I wrote a column about one of them) so we’ll start with the one that went on longer: the Dean Ambrose arrest story.
The basic idea is simple: Ambrose has until the end of the show to sign the contract for the match with Rollins on Sunday (why the Authority didn’t say “you have four seconds to get out here and sign this starting now” isn’t clear) so the Authority ran some trickerations and had Dean arrested for punching an innocent cameraman. Later in the show, it was revealed that Rollins shoved the cameraman into Dean so he wouldn’t make it back to the show in time. Naturally, with the Authority celebrating at the end of the show, Dean came back (in a police van) and signed the contract just as the show ended (complete with overrun of course).
Now let’s stop for a minute and think about this. Monday Night Raw is a wrestling show. We have to accept that a lot of really, really questionable things happen, but WWE has built a universe where it’s plausible that these things could happen. In other words, fans are willing to suspend their disbelief to accept that we’re watching crazy people do crazy things because the show has made it possible for that to happen.
Look at it from a comic book perspective. I can believe that Superman can fly because he’s an alien under a yellow sun. Those are the rules that DC comics have established and as long as they play by those rules, I can go along with them. However, if one day Superman can suddenly turn people into chickens and the justification is “well he’s an alien and has powers”, it’s unacceptable because this comes out of left field and doesn’t gel with the story of the character.
This past Monday with Dean just happening to make it out of jail on time and just happening to be there at the very end of the show to sign the contract was WWE suddenly being able to turn people into chickens. There were WAY too many coincidences and perfect timing for me to accept that this was going to be the case. It didn’t help that they were basically saying “yeah you know he’s getting back and signing” and it was just a matter of time before the big evidence showed up to save Dean.
I said this in the review but it felt like the end of any given sitcom episode. Our hero is in big trouble for doing whatever and he can’t prove his innocence, but here’s some deus ex machina to save him and give us all a happy ending while the villains are left kicking and screaming and promising to get Ambrose next time Gadget, NEXT TIME!
The word to sum it up was staged. This felt like it was designed to be completely fake and set up the whole way through instead of trying to be realistic. Look at Lucha Underground for a counter example. They have some completely over the top stories (including a man who was the spirit of a dragon and a monster killing a wrestler) but they play it totally seriously and it never fails to work. This story felt like WWE was winking at the camera the entire time and making it as clear as they could that Ambrose was going to be there at the last second to save the day, making the entire three hour story a big waste of time.
That’s the other big deal for me: what did this whole thing change? Ambrose came into the show with a title shot and left with a title shot. All that happened in between was the Authority looks bad and Rollins doesn’t really do anything else. Instead of a serious promo exchange or making me want to see the match more, the show was a big stand alone story that changed nothing and got on my nerves. It’s bad writing and bad booking and something that really didn’t need to happen.
Now on to the other stupid idea of the night: Rusev turning into a big, emotional goon instead of the brute that he’s been for over a year now. I understand the idea that he would be upset over Lana leaving him for an American, but the reaction was all wrong. Rusev should have been stomping and raving and FIGHTING ZIGGLER but instead he was asking to hold Lana’s hand and talking about all the dreams they had in Bulgaria.
As I ranted about in the column I wrote (which I know you’ve all read of course), this was missing the point of the character. Rusev is a monster and they’re trying to give him emotions. It’s all wrong for him and doesn’t fit anything that they’ve set up over the past year plus for him. It goes back to the Superman example earlier: you can’t just throw in a polar opposite set of characteristics for someone without any sort of foundation for them. Rusev getting all emotional has no background, Lana or no Lana.
Oh and now Rusev is injured and could be out for more than a month, so the last thing people are going to remember from him is the big change scene with the song from the trailer from every bad romantic comedy ever. What a great followup to the four pay per view series with Cena. But hey, at least Rusev is a more three dimensional character, because a guy named the Bulgarian Brute was just dying for a soft side right?
As for the rest of the show, Ambrose pinned Rollins in a tag match, which should have ended the show and been the main focal point of their feud that night. I’ll stop myself there.
The other major story of the night was a trio of matches between the six participants in the Elimination Chamber match for the Intercontinental Title. In addition to Truth vs. Rusev, we had Ryback beating Barrett (shocking!) and Sheamus Brogue Kicking Ziggler. This is another example of tired booking ideas that need to be replaced. Only Sheamus vs. Ziggler broke four minutes, making these matches, which really change nothing for Sunday’s match, more like a waste of time than anything else. Consolidate these into a long six man instead of three singles or have a tag match or two three ways or ANYTHING but this boring idea.
The cast of Entourage was here to fill in time, including a segment where they mentioned Ronda Rousey in front of Stephanie. That’s something of note was well: notice that a lot of the bad writing and bad structuring take place when Stephanie is back full time. We had a bunch of bad filler segments and more of her talking with proper nouns (you don’t have to say the exact name of the title, wrestlers or pay per view every ten seconds Stephanie. We’re not going to care more or start Tweeting about it because WE’RE ALREADY WATCHING THE SHOW).
Neville beat Stardust (who had a pre match staredown with Stephen Amell of Arrow, allegedly setting up a showdown at Summerslam. Seriously. To his credit though, Amell is in great shape so it could be passable) and was beaten down by Bo Dallas post match. They’re still playing up the knee injury which is fine for a quick story.
Cena’s Open Challenge speech was talking about the fans who boo him and want someone to knock him down for good. Kevin Owens has his chance on Sunday but it’s not going to happen. As usual, this was Cena owning the fans as only he can and chuckling as they think they own him.
Zack Ryder answered the challenge and had a very fun four minute match (complete with Ryder missing a 450 of all things) before Cena pinned him. This was the right call as Ryder is a Long Island guy and this was the last show in Nassau Coliseum on Long Island, which was played up a lot during the match. As usual, this was the best part of the show as Cena continues to be amazing when they just let him go out there and do his thing. Post match Owens, now in more proper gear, laid Cena out again. They better not screw this up on Sunday, but I’m sure they will.
Tamina, the bodyguard for one of the challengers for the Divas Title on Sunday, pinned the other challenger for the Divas Title on Sunday. The stupidity was flowing through this entire show.
To cap it off, let’s throw all psychology out the window and have Kane (for no apparent reason) book New Day in a 3 on 11 handicap match, because the way to get heels booed is to put them against impossible odds. This lasted less than a minute before the big brawl.
Do I need to sum this one up for you?
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Lucha Underground Date: May 27, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
The big story this week is the return of Mil Muertes, who is looking like a demonic Brock Lesnar. Unfortunately Fenix is going to be the first victim on the path of rage, which is going to be made even worse as Fenix is the one that too Muertes out in the first place. Other than that we have Prince Puma defending the title against Hernandez. Let’s get to it.
We open with Catrina raising Muertes out of the casket in what looks like a trailer for a horror movie. Puma vs. Hernandez gets a bit of time as well but it’s definitely the secondary story tonight. The last clip is Mundo turning heel on El Patron.
Black Lotus arrives at the temple (in a rare daylight sequence) but Chavo stops him. His grandfather was there when Dario’s brother killed Lotus’ parents so the Guerreros hate the Cuetos too. This story is still over the top and ridiculous and I’m starting to love it.
Aerostar vs. Johnny Mundo
Star is sent down ten seconds in and Johnny goes for a chinlock with Star’s arm pinned back for some elbows to the chest. Mundo kicks him to the floor as this is a far more aggressive Johnny to start. Back up and Star spins around Johnny into a nice looking headscissors before a kick to the face and slingshot splash get two. A dropkick to the leg sends Mundo outside, setting up a big flip dive to the floor.
Mundo goes right back to slugging the masked man in the head and putting on an Anaconda Vice. After ropes are reached, Mundo kicks him in the face again for two more but Mundo plants him with a backbreaker. The End of the World is broken up so Johnny just suplexes him into the corner, setting up the End of the World for the pin.
Rating: C. This worked well enough with Mundo’s new heel persona working. However, Star got in way too much offense for Johnny’s first opponent after a heel turn. Thankfully it was just token offense with Mundo never in any real danger, but this should have been a squash instead as even as it was.
Vampiro’s sitdown interview this week is with Sexy Star, who isn’t worried about her upcoming submission match with Pentagon Jr. because she already beat him once. Super Fly is still healing and she’s ending Pentagon Jr. for him.
Lucha Underground Title: Hernandez vs. Prince Puma
Puma is defending. Hernandez easily blocks an early hurricanrana attempt and throws Puma down but he comes back by kicking Hernandez in the head. The big guy bails to the floor and Puma teases a dive to tick him off even more. Back in and Hernandez slingshots into a Codebreaker for a nice counter. It’s almost all Puma so far and a springboard cross body gets two.
Hernandez gets tired of being on defense and just nails Puma with a clothesline. It’s simple but Hernandez using such basic offense compared to Puma’s high flying is a nice touch. A running splash gets two but Hernandez poses a bit too much and gets kicked in the head. That just annoys him though and a choke suplex sends him flying. Puma’s cross body is countered into an Alpha Bomb (slam into a sitout powerbomb) and the kickout surprises the big man.
A big shove sends Puma to the floor (nice and simple again) so Konnan comes up on the apron for a distraction, allowing Puma to grab a chair to knock Hernandez out of the air. That goes nowhere so Hernandez plants him with a powerbomb onto the apron, which should completely destroy him. Instead Puma is countering a Border Toss into the barricade and landing on the rail for a big corkscrew dive to take Hernandez down.
Another slingshot splash gets another two but the 630 misses and Hernandez plants him with a powerslam. Hernandez’s splash hits knees and for once that actually hurts someone’s knee. It doesn’t hurt enough to stop him from kicking Hernandez in the head a few times for two. Even more kicks to the head set up the 630 to retain the title.
Rating: B-. I liked it but I didn’t love it. As usual, the selling here didn’t last more than about ten seconds at a time, which makes for some very quick turnarounds. That being said, the sped up matches are the norm here and almost no one selling that long makes it a lot easier to sit through. Good match and a good win for Puma, though nothing all that remarkable.
Fenix vs. Mil Muertes
Death match, which means pin or submission only and the fall has to take place in the ring, which means it was nice knowing you Fenix. Muertes, now all in black, stares a hole through Fenix and has three men in skull masks to take off his cape. Fenix tries a dive over the top during the entrances but he literally just bounces off of Muertes. Oh this is going to hurt. Muertes throws him inside and powerslams Fenix down for some right hands. He’s moving around like a zombie with superpowers, which is one heck of a B movie concept.
Fenix’s kicks are swatted away and a swinging chokeslam plants him down. He finally manages to crotch Mil on top and run down the ropes to kick Muertes to the floor. A big multiple jump moonsault drops Mil again but he pops up and nails a hard clothesline. To make things even worse for Fenix, Mil grabs a chair and caves his head in. Fenix of course shrugs it off and nails a superkick, setting up a huge double stomp off the barricade to crush Muertes’ chest.
Back in and Fenix scores with some kicks, only to get hiptossed out to the floor. More chair shots have Fenix in big trouble so Muertes throws him onto his shoulders and sprints up the steps. Fenix’s kicks have no effect and Muertes powerbombs him THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE STORAGE ROOM. We actually take a break (for I think only the third time in this series) and come back with the skull guys carrying Fenix (with the required Jesus pose) to the ring for the Flatliner and the pin.
Rating: C+. Oh yeah this worked. The wrestling obviously wasn’t the point here as Muertes is suddenly the top evil in this company. The powerbomb destroyed Fenix and made the debut of the new character work so well. Really good debut here with Muertes looking exactly like the monster he should. Muertes killing Puma and taking the title needs to be academic at this point.
Catrina, Muertes and the skull guys pose as the credits roll.
We’re not done yet as Lucha Underground channels its inner Marvel with a pose credits sequence. Cueto meets with the Crew and says El Jefe (the boss) will not be embarrassed. Someone has to pay for this and the other two throw Bael into Cueto’s brother’s cage. Blood splatters everywhere and Cueto rubs some onto his face. Did we just see a death sequence to end the show?
Overall Rating: B. This was a solid effort as they’re clearly building up a lot of stuff for the end of the season. It’s so strange to be building towards a season finale instead of a big pay per view but this is actually working for me. Muertes is awesome as a monster, Cueto is awesome as an evil boss and the heroes are all solid as well to top it off. Cool show here as they’re setting the stage for the big stuff to wrap things up, including Black Lotus as a wildcard. Good stuff.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at: