Starrcade 1999 (2015 Redo): Vince Russo Thinks You’re Stupid

Starrcade 1999
Date: December 19, 1999
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 8,582
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

We have arrived. We have reached the biggest show of the year for WCW. It’s the final pay per view of the year and the final Starrcade of the 1990s. Over the years this show has been a showcase for legends like Sting, Ric Flair, Lex Luger and Hulk Hogan. There have been great matches, moments and shows in general, many of which have been some of WCW’s best shows of all time. Now, forget everything I just said, because this is going to be one of the biggest disasters in the history of……I would say professional wrestling but that has nothing to do with what I’m about to sit through. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Scott Hudson narrated highlight package to preview the card. Up first in the package: the Revolution vs. Jim Duggan/his mystery partners. I’m pretty sure every match gets some time here, but my goodness they aren’t off to a rousing start by making me think about all of the impending disasters.

Now we get a standard opening video, focusing on the powerbomb match and then the World Title match.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Big Vito/Johnny the Bull

Disco lost a lot of money gambling (which I don’t think he ever paid back) to the Mafia so Don boss Tony Marinara sent Big Vito and Johnny the Bull after him. Lash helped Disco out and basically started a war against the mob, setting up this tag match. It’s also probably the match that has gotten the most build on the card. Normally I would ask why a match like this is opening the show, but the more I think about it, what else do they have?

It’s a brawl to start with Vito punching Lash down early on. A nice suplex drops Lash again and Vito nails a good looking superkick. Heenan gets in another of his lines that are open to interpretation as he wonders why the people in the back are so quiet. Off to Johnny who eats a dropkick from Lash and a clothesline from Disco for one.

Disco stomps away in the corner but Johnny sweeps the leg (because he’s the best in town) to take over. Vito scores with a hard running clothesline and Johnny’s swinging neckbreaker gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before something like a double powerbomb plants Disco again. Vito spends too much time mocking the crowd on the ropes though and hits the mat, allowing the hot tag to Lash.

Everything breaks down and the goons are dropped with clotheslines. A gorilla press drop puts Lash down but he avoids a top rope spinning legdrop. Disco hits a top rope splash for two but Vito comes off the top to break up the save (granted the really slow count made it a bit easier). Vito reverses a whip from Lash and sends him into the Last Dance from Disco by mistake, setting up Vito’s spinning DDT for the pin.

Rating: C. Totally acceptable tag match here, but I have a feeling we’ve just seen the match of the night. It’s the old power vs. speed formula which has worked for the better part of ever and worked here as well. The story made sense and was actually different for a change, but this could have been on almost any given Nitro. Still though, totally acceptable.

Post match Disco gets beaten up and thrown in the body bag, along with a bottle of ether. The mob takes him back to the parking lot and throw him in their car to take them away.

Goldberg vs. Hart is No DQ. If that was the stipulation beforehand, I haven’t heard of it.

Scott Hall is out of the US Title match due to a knee injury so Benoit is the champion.

The announcers run their mouths to fill time on a show with 13 matches. Keep in mind that this is coming after a backstage segment. Not only is it boring for the PPV audience, but it’s letting the crowd come down after a decent opener.

Cue Chris Benoit to say he doesn’t want the title this way, so it’s officially vacant. However, he’ll still have the ladder match against anyone that wants to face him for the title.

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias

Evan is defending and Madusa offered sex to get this show. After she earned the shot, Evan dumped Madusa for Nitro Girl Spice, making this just another title match but with man on woman violence because Russo is obsessed with this idea. Madusa dives off the top to take out Evan and Spice before sending him into the barricade. They head inside where Evan slaps her in the face and plants her with a powerslam, only to miss a Lionsault.

Madusa dropkicks him down but gets slammed off the top. A powerbomb puts Madusa down for two so Madusa powerbombs him right back. They head outside with Evan diving onto Madusa, but Spice gets on the apron to distract the champ. It’s just a ruse for the worst low blow ever, setting up Madusa’s German suplex for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. So not only did they have a swerve, they had only the bare bones of a match as this was nothing more than a spot fest with no flow to it. Yeah Mysterio and Guerrera would do a bunch of spots, but at least they knew how to make them exciting. This was less than four minutes long and more about the fact that Madusa is a woman. In other words, they were trying to recreate Chyna without putting in the effort of building her up in DX all those years. That’s Russo’s philosophy: just go to the end goal without putting in any of the work and then blame the fans for not caring.

On the storyline front, let’s recap what just happened to Evan: he was duped into giving Madusa the shot by the offer of sex, then Madusa won the title shot again in a triple threat, then Evan got pinned on Thunder for no apparent reason, then the other woman, who was involved in this story to distract Evan, turned on him to give Madusa the title for no reason other than to mess with Evan, who made the mistake of being a champion and going after a pretty girl who seemed interested in him. Oh and Madusa hit cheated to win the title. I’m not sure if she was the face or the heel here, but I’m sure WCW didn’t know either.

Norman Smiley is dressed up like a Washington Redskin for his match with Meng. He certainly isn’t scared and ignore the scream when the producer tries to count him out of the interview. Sudden moves like that just are not necessary when Norman is a coiled spring ready to explode! Ignore the fact that the Hardcore Title is practically identical to the ECW Title.

Hardcore Title: Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Norman the coward is defending. They throw weapons at each other to start before Meng shoves the cart full of weapons runs Norman over. It’s in the back without Norman ever making it to the ring and Norman blasts him in the head with the chair for almost no effect. Norman runs away through catering before Meng slams him through a table.

Meng throws a cinder block at his head but Norman avoids the whole death thing. Smiley dives behind some boxes to hide, allowing Finlay and Brian Knobbs to come up and beat Meng down. Well kind of as Meng no sells the chair and trashcan shots until Finlay NAILS him with a lead pipe to knock Meng silly. Norman comes out and covers to retain.

Rating: D. Norman is a guy that tries so hard but can’t get out of this hardcore nonsense. This was your standard hardcore match with Meng dominating and Norman screaming a lot but somehow escaping for the title. In other words, it’s your standard TV match being held at Starrcade because Russo doesn’t know the difference between the shows.

Meng beats up Nick Patrick for reasons.

David Flair has a gold crowbar delivered to him and seems very happy.

Oklahoma and Steve Williams are ready. There’s nothing more to this segment.

Oh wait there is, as we cut back to see the Misfits kidnap Oklahoma.

We recap Jim Duggan vs. the Revolution, which is based around the idea of the Revolution thinking they’re a sovereign nation and wanting to deface the American flag. Bringing Duggan in makes sense there, but the Powers That Be says there’s nothing to his love of America and made him a janitor because that’s funny or something.

Jim Duggan/??? vs. Revolution

It’s Asya/Saturn/Malenko/Douglas here and we have no idea who the partners are here. If Duggan wins, the Revolution has to be the janitors for 30 days, but if Duggan loses, he has to denounce America. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club, a team which hit its peak in 1988/1989. In case you’re like, young or something, it’s Rick Steiner/Kevin Sullivan/Mike Rotundo with Leia Meow (ECW’s Kimona) as their cheerleader.

Shane sits in on commentary to make it a handicap match. Dean and Duggan start things off but Saturn comes in less than ten second in. The Varsity Club gets in some cheap shots in the corner before Duggan hammers away with forearms to the back. Dean comes in again for an elbow to the face and a slam, followed by the three point clothesline for two.

Saturn gets the same off a missile dropkick as Heenan points out that Duggan hasn’t tried to tag out. Just get to the swerve we all know is coming from here. Saturn misses a middle rope splash but Dean hits Jim in the head with a flag. Everyone comes in with the Varsity Club cleaning house, including tying Asya in the Tree of Woe for Sullivan’s running knee. Then they turn on Duggan because what else were they going to do here? Shane runs in for the pin as the Varsity Club keeps beating up Saturn on the floor.

Rating: F. This is STARRCADE 1999 and they bring out the Varsity Club? If they were going for some kind of nostalgia/history thing here, they completely missed the point as the Varsity Club’s biggest moment was when they were fighting each other, assuming anyone remembered/cared about that in 1999. As it is, this is just another four minute match capped off by a beatdown to make it a Jim Duggan story. What is the mass appeal here and who thought the one thing this show needed was MORE people running around?

Shane tells Duggan he has 24 hours before he has to renounce America. They drape the Revolution flag over him, only to take it right back off.

The Misfits have Oklahoma in a shark cage to make sure he stays out of the Vampiro match.

Vampiro vs. Steve Williams

If Vampiro wins, he gets five minutes with Oklahoma. The Misfits wheel out Oklahoma in the shark cage but he has a headset on and can still do his Jim Ross jokes because…..screw the sarcasm. This whole thing is stupid. Vampiro dives off the cage to take Williams out and the brawl begins on the floor. They head inside with Oklahoma yelling at the commentators. Williams fires off a chop so Oklahoma shouts CHOP over and over.

Some three point tackles take out Vampiro’s legs followed by some chops, but Oklahoma gets bored saying chop over and over. A belly to belly superplex sends Vampiro flying but brings in the Misfits. Williams cleans house with ease and suplexes Vampiro down again. He hammers on Vampiro but shoves the referee down (how have we not had a ref bump tonight?) for a DQ, setting up Vampiro vs. Oklahoma.

Rating: D. So their solution to make us care about Vampiro is to have him get beaten up until the referee gets knocked down while Oklahoma gets to do his same joke over and over and over and over and over. I feel like iTunes on repeat (who uses records anymore?) saying this but STOP USING THE SHOW FOR YOUR OWN STUPID JOKES THAT AREN’T EVEN FUNNY IN THE FIRST PLACE!

The five minute clock starts immediately.

Oklahoma vs. Vampiro

Security gets Williams out of here as we’re still waiting on Oklahoma to get out of the cage. Oklahoma gets in after about two minutes and kicks Vampiro in the head. More slow stomps connect before Vampiro hits a single chop, only to have Oklahoma nail two straight low blows. A quick Rock Bottom drops Oklahoma and the Misfits come in for some shots, which the referee doesn’t seem to mind. The Nail in the Coffin ends this mess.

To recap, Vampiro needed the help of a punk rock band (how many of the fans actually know who they are?) to beat Oklahoma, who beat the tar out of Vampiro for most of the “match”. Again, the announcers are getting the push at the sake of someone like Vampiro, who may or may not be entertaining but he’s an actual wrestler.

Russo tells Hennig/Shane/La Parka/Creative Control that he has something big planned for tonight so he can’t quite focus on their match. Thanks for letting us know about this an hour into the show instead of building it up for a few weeks, but they probably didn’t know a few weeks ago.

Stevie Ray tells Booker he won’t have his back tonight.

Harlem Heat/Midnight vs. Curt Hennig/Creative Control

The winning tag team is #1 contenders so Hennig and Midnight are just kind of here to fill in the roster, because Heaven forbid we just have a regular tag match. My goodness there are suddenly a lot of empty seats across from the cameras. I couldn’t have missed those earlier. There’s no Stevie so it’s a handicap match with more man on woman.

Gerald stomps Booker into the corner to start before no selling a spin kick to the face. So much for this one changing the tide of the show. We look at the ladder for later and come back with Midnight in without seeing what happened in between. I’m betting Gerald lost a Canasta game and had to allow the hot tag.

It’s quickly back to Booker who gets beaten down again but quickly gets over to tag in Midnight for some dropkicks. Hennig clotheslines her out to the floor and the heels take over again. Back in and Creative Control takes over on Midnight as Hudson talks about the big events of the night: the return of the Varsity Club and Disco being thrown into a car. We get the old “referee doesn’t see the tag” spot as Stevie Ray comes out, only to be sent to the back by Booker.

Midnight gets slammed down and Patrick drops some elbows for two. He misses the middle rope elbow though and Midnight gets over for the hot tag. It doesn’t count as Nick Patrick was “talking to Stevie Ray.” That’s true, but THEY WERE LOOKING AT THE TAG. As in Nick clearly realized he wasn’t supposed to see it and you can see him try to snap his head away in time so it doesn’t look that bad but it doesn’t work. Hennig sneaks in with a foreign object to knock Booker silly for the pin and a delayed bell.

Rating: D. As usual, this was an angle disguised as a match. On top of the match being boring for the most part and yet another woman being in there for the sake of being in there (Midnight was fine but the announcers spent the whole match talking about how awesome it was to have a woman in there, which just puts more attention on the fact that she’s nothing special), the gaffes like Nick seeing the tag made this a huge mess. Above all else though, I just do not care because I haven’t been given a reason to care. These people are just characters with little development so it’s really hard to get interested.

We recap Jarrett vs. Rhodes. Basically Dustin returned as something resembling a child abductor but he decided he wanted to be Dustin Rhodes because THAT has such a great track record for him. Jeff thought it was funny that Dustin’s dad got fired so the feud began again and of course it turned into a bunkhouse match to make it about cowboys and hardcore.

Dustin, wearing a Dusty Rhodes shirt, talks about the match but Jeff jumps him to start.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dustin Rhodes

Jarrett runs Dustin’s knee over with a wheelbarrow and hits him in the throat with a kendo stick. They slam each other into the wheelbarrow before heading inside for the first time with Jeff taking a cowbell to the head. Well you knew the bullrope and cowbell were going to be involved somehow. Some bell shots knock Jarrett onto the announcers’ table but hitting him in the head with a metal bell doesn’t sound as good as throwing powder in Jeff’s face.

Dustin pulls out a whip and nails both Jarrett and the referee before duct taping the referee to the ropes. Jeff shrugs off a shot with some chaps (you think I care enough to react to that at this point?) and kicks Dustin low as Curt Hennig comes out to untape the referee. We hit the sleeper as Jarrett tries to make this wrestling for reasons I don’t understand.

Dustin finally suplexes his way out and gets two off a Boss Man Slam. Shattered Dreams connects but Hennig pulls the referee out at two. That earns Curt some Shattered Dreams of his own and all three head up to the entrance. Dustin plants Hennig with a bulldog but Jeff climbs the ladder and blasts him with a guitar for the pin.

Rating: D. Ok. What else do you want me to say here? Two guys who are feuding over someone not even working for this promotion anymore had a long (by this show’s standards) match and the heel had someone else come in to basically make it a handicap match. The good guy fought back and then the two beat him without anything overly interesting happening.

Jeff Jarrett continues to not by over but gets pushed to the moon (dig that huge win over DUSTIN RHODES!) because he beat up a woman in the WWF. These guys weren’t really putting in a ton of effort though and it’s clear that no one has anything special without some kind of character behind them. It’s just two old school style guys having a boring match and that’s not something I want to watch for eleven minutes.

David Flair makes the headless teddy bear stroke the golden crowbar. Somehow, there isn’t a single bit of innuendo in that entire sentence. Why David is wearing a Halloween Havoc shirt isn’t clear.

Page says his hands will have a crowbar in them tonight and then those same hands will give Flair a bang.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. David Flair

IT’S A CROWBAR ON A POLE MATCH!!! This is like Russo’s hit parade if I had to pay $30 to see it. This match is due to David stalking Kimberly after Kimberly slept with Ric Flair instead of David. So yeah, we have sex, insanity, illogical stories and a thing on a pole. Like I said, the hit parade rolls on. The crowbar is pitifully low as anyone of average height could reach it from the mat.

David sneaks up from behind with the gold crowbar (different from the one on the pole) but Little Naitch (who should be in David’s corner in theory) takes it away, because even if you’re insane and carrying a crowbar, you MUST follow the rules! The referee checks on Page and says the match will be a forfeit, but Page shoves Penzer away and wants to go.

We get the opening bell and David hammers away because how else was this going to be competitive? David counters a sunset flip and punches Page in the face for two. A clothesline gets the same as we’re still waiting on any attempt at the crowbar. Flair hits a low blow and puts on a Figure Four but Page turns it over for the break. Flair gets the crowbar, misses a swing and eats the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: F. Remember when Chris Jericho would lose and then go insane and beat the post with a chair? That’s how I feel here. There was no reason for this to be on pay per view or for this to be a gimmick match other than to make the match more believable. In other words, they can’t have a good match without making it a gimmick and the match can’t be good because it’s a gimmick. Who other than Vince Russo could book a sub four minute match into a paradox while almost completely ignoring the gimmick that causes the paradox in the first place?

Page gives him a middle rope Diamond Cutter post match and it about to hit him with the crowbar but the yet to be named Daffney runs in to cover Flair up. Page leaves instead of hit the crazy chick.

Heenan wants a beer. I don’t drink but can someone get me a hammer to crush my own skull?

We recap Luger vs. Sting, which has seen Luger treat Liz like garbage (more anti-women fetish material for Russo), which sent her running off for Sting to help him. At the same time, Luger “inadvertently” cost Sting some matches and kept trying to make it up to him, only making it worse in the process. Their match tonight is for Liz’s freedom, which she totally and completely wants of course.

Total Package vs. Sting

In the back, Sting gives Liz “super high octane” mace. The STEROIDS chant begins and Luger quickly sends Sting outside. Some whips into the barricade have Sting in more trouble before some elbows get two. Sting no sells a ram into the buckle and Luger gets caught between slaps from Sting and Liz. A double clothesline puts both of them down because of those two and a half DEVASTATING minutes of action.

Liz comes in to check on Luger and sprays the mace at Sting, but it’s silly string because Sting actually outsmarted someone!!!!! Even the announcers acknowledge how shocking this is. Sting makes his comeback and hits a top rope splash for two. A pair of regular Stinger Splashes look to set up the Deathlock but Liz comes in with the ball bat for a very loud sounding shot to the jaw for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I’m upgrading this because of the bat shot and the string. Other than that, this was a big mess with the whole thing not even breaking six minutes despite it being one of the bigger matches on the card. This changes nothing as Liz is freed from Luger but apparently wants to stay with him, making this whole thing a big waste of time. Imagine that.

Luger Pillmanizes Sting’s arm post match. Remember two years ago when Sting was in the biggest match in WCW history? How was that just two years ago?

To recap, that was the tenth match of the show and, assuming you count Madusa as a heel, the third match where the heel didn’t either win or get the last laugh after the match. Those three are Vampiro and the Misfits beating up Oklahoma (who dominated the “match”), Page over David Flair and Norman Smiley over Meng where Norman was treated like a goon all match. Is there any doubt why so many fans are leaving their seats halfway through the show?

We recap Sid vs. Nash in the powerbomb match. I’ve watched the shows setting this match up and now I’ve watched the video and I’m still not exactly sure why they’re fighting. They’ve fought a few times but I’m not sure why they started in the first place. Again though, I doubt WCW does either other than “hey, they’re both big!”

Sid Vicious vs. Kevin Nash

You win by using a powerbomb instead of a pin or a submission because we just couldn’t have either guy do a real job for the sake of…..probably some legal deal actually. Nash takes over to start and hits the framed elbow and a side slam for two. A low blow breaks up Sid’s powerbomb attempt and it’s time to go outside so they don’t have to wrestle. Sid hits him in the back with a chair but stops to tell the fans to shut up. Good grief dude at least know what you’re supposed to be doing out there. Back in and Sid tries to start a powerbomb chant but the fans are mostly silent. Well to be fair that’s what Sid wanted.

The referee FINALLY GETS BUMPED, right before Sid hits a powerbomb. Cue Jeff Jarrett with a guitar to knock Sid out cold. The referee slowly gets up and Nash loads up a powerbomb but his back is out. Now the referee turns around as Nash is holding his back and Sid is down. Nash: “Yeah I powerbombed him.” Referee: “WELL OK THEN!” Nash wins. Scott Hudson: “I refuse to refer to Nash as the master of the powerbomb!” Oh dang man. No Scott Hudson endorsement? This is a sham of a reign as powerbomb master!

Rating: F. Failure, freaking stupid, for the love of all things good and holy, for goodness’ sake, fire them both. Pick any two and that’s what the F stands for here. I actually had to get up and walk around for a bit before I started talking about this. They somehow booked a match built around one finisher and then they couldn’t even do that finish because Nash didn’t want to do the powerbomb.

From a kayfabe perspective, how freaking horrible do the referees in this company look? Ranging from staying down for five minutes off a single shot to not being able to see a tag literally three feet in front of them to saying “yeah, sure I’ll believe you when you say you powerbombed him. You would never lie”, these are the worst referees I’ve ever seen. Oh and then there’s Roddy Piper who has a young boy doing his work for him and who hears voices in his head. I would do a Randy Orton joke there but Orton is too good for this show.

Benoit says the open challenge is still, uh, open.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

Ladder match and the title is officially vacant coming in The mystery opponent is……Jeff Jarrett, because why have two Jarrett segments when you can have three??? And my goodness did he change from jeans to gear in a hurry. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start with Benoit chopping Jeff into the ring. Something like an Irish Curse drops Jarrett and a superplex allows Benoit to go get the first ladder.

Jarrett gets up and hits a baseball slide to drive the ladder into Benoit, but Chris whips him into the ladder in the corner a few times to take over again. Benoit gets crotched against the ladder for something like a Russian legsweep out of the corner. Chris is busted open but still able to tie Jeff in the Tree of Woe in the standing ladder, only to find out that it’s hard to climb a ladder with someone hanging from the other side.

Both guys go up until Jarrett gets knocked down, followed by both guys going up and getting knocked over for nice crashes. In the best spot of the match, Benoit goes up but Jarrett dropkicks the ladder out from underneath him, sending Benoit down for a huge crash. Benoit is up first and dropkicks the ladder onto Jarrett but Benoit would rather drop a Swan Dive off the top of the ladder instead of grab the belt. Now he goes up and gets the belt for the win.

Rating: B. That might be high but anything above horrible would be ten times better than everything else on this show. Best match of the night here by about 19,000 years and naturally it only has ten minutes because we needed to give Oklahoma two matches and have the really stupid David Flair match instead of giving this another eight minutes. There isn’t much to say here other than the guys were doing big spots and making them look good. In other words, the polar opposite of everything else tonight.

We recap Goldberg vs. Hart, which started over Hart wanting to give Goldberg a title shot, and then became an Outsiders story involving the Tag Team Titles. Other than a few one off promos, these two have barely addressed each other.

Bret says he’s winning whether Goldberg likes it or not.

WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Goldberg

No DQ and there must be a winner with Bret defending. Instead of asking if we’re ready to rumble, Buffer tells us we’re ready because the fans would probably boo such a question out of the building for making this last even longer. You know how most of the time at Wrestlemania the main event eats up like 40 minutes? The bell here rings with just over thirteen minutes to go in the show. For some reason it would feel wrong if the main event of the biggest show of the year had more time than that.

They shake hands and we’re ready to go. Goldberg shoves him down out of a lockup to start but Bret takes him down with a headlock. That goes nowhere so Goldberg gorilla presses him into a powerslam for two. Goldberg tries that rolling leglock but Bret turns it into an early Sharpshooter attempt as only he could do. They fight outside with the referee getting bumped. It’s not even a big deal at this point.

Robinson comes out as a replacement and an overly excited (and likely drunk) fan is dancing badly in the front row. A big boot puts Hart down back inside but Robinson gets bumped on a hiptoss. Goldberg spears the turnbuckle as the third referee comes down to see Bret put on the Figure Four around the post. Back in and Bret starts in on the leg and puts on a regular Figure Four. The turn sends Bret running for the ropes so he wraps the leg around the middle rope in the corner.

Goldberg reverses and hammers away but referee number three goes down. There’s the Bret Killer superkick to set up the spear but a dejected Roddy Piper comes out to be the fourth referee. Bret, apparently having shrugged off the spear kicks Goldberg in the knee and MONTREAL STRIKES AGAIN as Piper calls for the bell before Bret turns the Sharpshooter over. Hudson: “NOT MONTREAL ALL OVER AGAIN!” Yes it’s Montreal all over again, because THAT’S THE DUMBEST THING THEY COULD POSSIBLY DO!

Rating: D-. The match was watchable but between the whole ending Bret Hart’s career and going back to a fake Montreal over two years later with Bret on the good end this time is one of the worst possible ideas they could have come up with. If you want Bret to keep the title on a screwjob then have someone lay Goldberg out from behind or whatever, but good night don’t do it like this. I mean, if this is the best they can think of, just close the doors now because Russo is clearly not what he’s cracked up to be (oh gee what an understatement) and they need to find ANYONE else to give the reigns over to immediately.

Piper hands Bret the belt and walks off to end the show.

Overall Rating: No. No no, no no no, no no, no no. This is flat out not acceptable as the biggest show of the year for any promotion, or as a show for any serious promotion actually. Where in the world do I even start? Well let’s start at the ending actually, as the main event was the longest match of the night at 12:07. This past week’s episode of Raw had two matches longer than that and that’s a run of the mill TV show.

Above all else, this felt like it could be any given filler pay per view where they’re not trying. I know WCW had mixed feelings about how big of a deal Starrcade really was, but at least they would usually give lip service to the fact that it’s the biggest night of the year. This felt like Fall Brawl or Uncensored instead of Starrcade and that’s a feeling that you can’t shake off no matter what.

Starrcade 1999 was Vince Russo with time to come up with his best possible ideas. Somehow he’s managed to produce the one of the worst Wrestlemanias and the one of the worst Starrcades of all time, IN THE SAME YEAR. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to do that in the span of about nine months? So much of this can be blamed on the writing and booking too. When you have thirteen matches in a show that runs less than two hours and forty five minutes, there’s very little the wrestlers can do to make the thing work.

The Mamalukes vs. Disco/Lash was the best match of the night until Chris Benoit and a ladder took their top spot. That’s almost inconceivable that a totally average tag match was as good as this show could do for about 80% of the card. These stories are thrown together with no real rhyme or reason to most of them and at some point the fans just gave up. Yeah, it worked back in the WWF in 1999, but it’s the same argument made about TNA now: why would I want to watch a lite version of the same stories with lesser and older talent doing the work?

There comes a point where you have to show your audience some respect or they’re going to turn on you. That’s where Russo doesn’t get the point: he thinks the fans are going to follow whatever he does because they’re watching a wrestling show and therefore aren’t that smart. That means he can throw some big series of swerves at us and expect us to just go with it with an explanation of “YOU DIDN’T SEE IT COMING!” and then somehow blame us for not getting it. I know this is rambling but after watching this disaster there’s no way to have any sort of coherent thought process.

It’s just one big surprise after another, but the problem is you can start to see the surprises coming about half an hour into the show. If you train your audience to expect a big swerve, it stops being a swerve and becomes part of the plot. Piper coming out at the end of the big swerve would have worked better if we didn’t have so many people turning on each other or one big surprise after another for two and a half hours leading up to it.

It doesn’t help that Piper is a legend and hasn’t had a good match in about seven years at this point but he’s being featured as a major plot point for a story that people don’t care about. The build for this show didn’t make me want to see it and then the show itself was horrible, making me have no desire to keep tuning in.

What is there that’s left untied here? Nash wins to show Sid is worthless, Hall is probably going to come back and take the title from Benoit, and we get to see more Jeff Jarrett. The big cliffhanger here is “WHY DID PIPER SCREW BRET???” If that’s the big question going into Nitro tomorrow, I have zero desire to keep watching this promotion, but I’m sure it’s my fault for not supporting Russo like he deserves for putting on all this EXCITING TV for me. Total disaster of a show and more like hitting a rock wall instead of starting some new chapter in the company’s history as the year is coming to a close.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder – December 16, 1999: The Storm Before The Big Storm

Thunder
Date: December 16, 1999
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 3,889
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Juventud Guerrera

It’s the final show before Starrcade and the big question is how can WCW screw this up even further. In theory we’re getting big stars again tonight, but as we saw last week, that means nothing if the longest match is like four minutes and nothing comes from it. Also, how many big names lose heading into the biggest show of the year? Let’s get to it.

Here are Sid and Benoit to open the show, apparently having forgotten Sid destroying Benoit at Fall Brawl three months ago. Sid talks about the war with the Outsiders and guarantees that it’s a war they can’t win. There are no escapes or retreats, but plenty of surrenders. Actually there won’t be because you made sure it was a powerbomb match so neither guy has to job.

Benoit talks about Hall’s history in ladder matches, while making sure to name drop the WWF as many times as he can. This Sunday, Benoit becomes the new king of the ladder. A challenge is made for a tag match tonight but here are Hennig/Creative Control/La Parka/Shane. Curt says the Outsiders are busy fighting Goldberg/Hart in a House of Pain match tonight, so Benoit and Sid can fight each other or be suspended for six months without pay. Who gave Hennig authority?

Juventud Guerrera comes out for commentary and does two Rock lines before the segment is over. I get the idea here but it’s just not that funny.

Sting jumps Diamond Dallas Page for the attack on Monday. Page looks for Sting after a break.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

For the first time, we hear about Vampiro getting five minutes with Oklahoma if he beats Dr. Death on Sunday. A bad shoulder puts Vampiro down and here’s Oklahoma to watch. Vampiro strikes away in the corner but gets slammed down off the top. Buff counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb but let’s look at singer Aaron Neville in the crowd along with the less than 2000 people who paid to get in. A superkick puts Buff on the floor but Vampiro has to glare at Oklahoma, which brings in Jerry Only and Williams for a standoff. As they fight, Oklahoma gets in a barbecue bottle shot, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. This was another waste of time with the match just being there as a backdrop for the Oklahoma/Williams/Misfits nonsense. But at least we got to see the barbecue spot, and that’s funny because it’s something Jim Ross done and Jim Ross being himself is funny in some way I guess. Right?

Vampiro gets covered in barbecue sauce to continue the unfunny joke.

Prince Iaukea and Paisley don’t have much to say. Literally, Prince’s new thing is he doesn’t talk.

The Artist Form of Prince Iaukea vs. Evan Karagias

Non-title and Evan now has Spice with him. Well that’s an upgrade. Juvy says this will be the jabroni match of the week. Jot that down: a champion is a jabroni. Prince points at Evan so Evan twists the finger back. Some right hands set up a springboard cross body for two on Prince but Iaukea dropkicks him out to the floor. Cue Madusa to fight with Spice because this show can’t have a five minute match without someone coming to the ring. Paisley gets beaten up as well as Evan hits a missile dropkick on Prince. He tries to break up the girls though and Iaukea grabs a rollup for the pin, three days before a title defense.

Madusa slaps Evan post match so he leaves with Spice.

Page and Sting go at it in the back when another Sting comes up to go after the original Sting. It’s clearly Luger, but in case it wasn’t obvious enough, Page shouts LUGER as the fake Sting leaves.

Jim Duggan/Midnight vs. Asya/Perry Saturn

Shane sits in on commentary. The guys start things off with Duggan cranking on the arm and putting on a chinlock maybe 45 seconds into the match. Back up and Duggan starts a clubberin before clotheslining Saturn into the corner. It’s off to the girls with Midnight dropkicking her down so it’s off to Saturn for MAN ON WOMAN VIOLENCE! Where would we be without that?

Saturn hammers away in the corner and scores with a suplex as Harlem Heat comes down. The girls collide and it’s back to the guys with Duggan coming in for his old 80s offense. Everything breaks down and Midnight is sent to the floor, but Stevie throws her right back in. Shane comes in and clotheslines Saturn by mistake so Dean brings in the 2×4, only to have Duggan take it away and nail Saturn for the pin.

Rating: C-. Somehow, that’s 7:20 worth of wrestling but even worse, it’s probably as good as this show is going to have. The amount of time helped it a bit, but the problem this company has isn’t the lack of good wrestling but the lack of wrestling period. It’s very telling that I’m so starved for actual wrestling on these shows that a thirty second run from Duggan, who was a total brawler for most of his career, was one of the best parts of either Thunder or Nitro this week.

The Revolution beats down Duggan but Aaron Neville and Booker T. make the save. Was Neville really necessary there? WWF had Mike Tyson the year before this, but WCW has some country singer in his late 50s at this point.

David Flair screams at Gene Okerlund for no logical reason.

Sting swings his ball bat and looks for Luger.

Hardcore Title: Norman Smiley vs. David Flair

Norman, in Alabama football gear, uses a trashcan to block an early crowbar shot. They trade trashcan shots, followed by Norman’s spinning slam. David breaks up the spanking dance with a trashcan lid to the head but Meng comes out and destroys David’s teddy bear, sending Norman running away for…….wait for it…….a countout in a Hardcore Title match. Since that’s against the rules, doesn’t that mean that this match is still going on over fifteen years later?

Smiley runs from the arena.

Sting wants Luger out here right now because he knows it was him under that mask. Cue Luger, still dressed as Sting, for a beating from the real version. Juvy thinks it’s Ric Flair (Black Scorpion reference?) as Luger blocks the third Stinger Splash by raising a boot. Liz pulls the bat away from Luger, allowing Sting to Rack him (there’s a rarity). That knocks Liz down though, allowing Luger to get in some cheap shots with the bat on Sting before running away.

Post break, Sting doesn’t want medical help.

Luger drives away. Bye.

The Wall vs. Steve Williams

Oklahoma jumps in on commentary because what else is he going to do? Wall’s shoulder block is stopped by the powers of AMERICA before Williams hammers away with right hands and a slam. Williams charges into a boot and let’s cut to Chavo Guerrero selling stuff in the crowd. The fans chant for Chavo as Berlyn chases Oklahoma off and nails Williams with some foreign object for the DQ.

Rating: D. So not only are we seeing Ferrara as the Jim Ross impersonator, but now we have to sit through Steve Williams getting matches on TV? He’s fun to watch for a power guy, but you would think there are other people who could perform the role just as well. Like, the Wall for example?

Wall and Berlyn argue.

Nitro recap.

Buzzkill has fans sign a petition. He doesn’t actually say for what, but hopefully it’s his release so he can go be Brad Armstrong in the indies.

Curt Hennig vs. Dustin Rhodes

Before the match, Dustin calls Jeff Jarrett slap happy and promises to be his daddy Sunday night. Hennig jumps him to start but Dustin slams him right back down. This brings Shane inside but he gets caught in the corner for Shattered Dreams. Curt hammers away again and there go the lights. JUST LET THEM WRESTLE! Some guy dressed like Seven flies to the ring with a guitar and nails Dustin for the DQ. My goodness. You have Curt Hennig and Dustin Rhodes and think they need a screwy finish? Those two could wrestle a passable match in their sleep but they get two and a half minutes and a run-in? Really?

Jarrett (like it was going to be anyone else) and Hennig destroy Dustin post match.

After a break and some ads, Jeff Jarrett calls the Rhodes Family a bunch of slapnuts.

Chris Benoit/Sid Vicious vs. Creative Control/Curt Hennig/Shane/La Parka

Sid wants the Powers That Be to come out here and fight like men. The twins go after Benoit to start as Sid mauls the other three. Benoit comes back on the twins as Sid beats Hennig up on the floor. The twins get beaten up by Benoit’s ladder but Gerald saves Patrick from the Crossface. Curt gets back in and nails Benoit with the ladder and that’s a DQ. Nice two minute seven man handicap match.

Sid and Benoit get beaten down. What this has to do with or makes me want to see Sid vs. Nash and Benoit vs. Hall is beyond me. But at least the heels get to look strong and heels are cool right?

Piper is going to be the gatekeeper for the cage match tonight. Oh yay.

Kanyon vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Why this isn’t on Starrcade instead of Page vs. David Flair is another of life’s great mysteries. Guerrera calls Kanyon Shampoo instead of Champagne. The Champagne character works fine as Kanyon being in a movie and letting it go to his head makes sense, especially when you consider how minimal his contribution was (he was a stunt man) compared to all of the wrestlers who starred in the movie and don’t act all stuck up. Now of course that wasn’t intentional in this company, but it’s a nice touch. Anyway, Page comes out to talk trash of his own but gets gum spat in his face to get things going.

Biggs does commentary as Page hits a neckbreaker but can’t hit an early Diamond Cutter. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page until Kanyon comes back with a lot of choking. Kanyon loads up a tilt-a-whirl but Page busts out a headscissors of all things to take Kanyon down. That’s a new one for him. The announcers babble on about green cards as Kanyon stomps away in the corner. Page comes back with a clothesline and some punches but Biggs gets up on the apron, only to hit his client by mistake. There’s the Diamond Cutter but David Flair comes in with the crowbar to knock Page silly and give Kanyon the win.

Rating: D+. Not a horrible match but the run-in continues to screw with whatever good stuff this show could have going for it. At least Kanyon has a new character which works well enough for him, but what has happened to Diamond Dallas Page recently? The guy has gone from World Champion to just there in about eight months.

Bam Bam Bigelow runs in but gets laid out by a champagne bottle.

Piper beats up Creative Control with a pipe.

Bret walks to the ring until the director yells CUT.

Nash can’t find Hall. Uh oh.

Starrcade ad.

A medic runs into the Outsiders’ locker room, apparently due to an attack on Scott Hall.

Tag Team Titles: Outsiders vs. Goldberg/Bret Hart

The Outsiders are defending and this is a House of Pain match, which means a cage with a roof on it but you win by handcuffing your opponents to the cage. In other words, it’s a way to keep people from having to job. Roddy Piper is gatekeeper but Creative Control and Jeff Jarrett beats him down during the entrances. Nash and Hart fight in the ring as Goldberg runs out and attacks Jarrett and the twins as Piper shrugs off a beating, including a series of lead pipe shots, to clean house.

Goldberg rips the cage door off so he and Piper (now with the lead pipe) can come in. Jeff follows them in with guitars for Goldberg and Piper but Goldberg shrugs it off and spears Jeff down. Nash gets the pipe and hits Goldberg, allowing Jeff (fine ten seconds after the spear) to help chain Goldberg and Hart to the cage, presumably retaining the titles. Piper gets chained as well and Nash and Jarrett attack with the pipe before leaving. Goldberg rips the handcuffs from the cage to end the show.

No match of course but WOW. Nash just beat the main event of Starrcade in less than three minutes. Piper no sold pipe shots, Goldberg no sold a guitar shot, Jarrett no sold a spear, and then Goldberg no sold a beating with a pipe and ripped the handcuffs off. The World Title match wasn’t mentioned throughout this mess and basically the entire thing was a way to blow off a meaningless TV angle instead of focusing on the main event of Starrcade. Finally, well done on bringing that cage in. I’m so glad WCW spent the money to have it shipped over for a five minute appearance.

Overall Rating: F-. We are three days before Starrcade. Think about that as you look at the card and you’ll understand why this is a failure. Vince Russo has turned this company into a show where I’m looking forward to Janitor Jim Duggan appearances because I might get thirty seconds of brawling disguised as wrestling. That’s what I’ve sunk to after all these messes over the last few months and now I get to see the Granddaddy of Them All dragged through the mud. It can’t……it can’t…….it’s going to get worse isn’t it?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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In Your House XIV: I Knew They Could Do It

In Your House #15: A Cold Day In Hell
Date: May 11, 1997
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 9,381
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Things are still bad for the WWF but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, assuming you have a telescope with you. At the moment nothing is working from a business standpoint due to WCW and the NWO angle destroying everything that dares cross their path. Things will eventually improve and a lot of it is because of what’s going on right now. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is nearly religious in nature with shots of a cross and narrated by Undertaker, talking about how Armageddon is near. Austin counters by saying there’s nothing that can save Undertaker. Well done stuff here.

The announcers run down the card to start the show. Kind of an odd choice given that the people seeing it would have already paid for the show at this point.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Flash Funk

The Funkettes are now gone but the house set’s window has been replaced by a standard small video screen. HHH now has Chyna as his full time bodyguard. Flash pushes HHH into the corner before shaking his hips a bit. A hiptoss and a dropkick put Helmsley down and we hit the armbar. There are five empty front row seats for the now complete Hart Foundation if they show up later. Back up and another dropkick puts HHH on the floor and a middle rope clothesline drops HHH again. The referee goes out to break things up but the distraction allows Chyna to blast Flash in the back of the head.

Back in and a facebuster puts Funk down again and a Chyna forearm gives HHH two. A knee drop gets the same and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so it’s a jumping knee to the face to put Funk on the apron again. HHH pounds away at the chest and another knee sends Funk to the floor, ramming him head first into the stage.

They head back inside with HHH going up but jumping into Flash’s boot to put both guys down. A hard clothesline puts HHH down and a spinning legdrop is good for two. There’s a top rope crossbody for the same but Flash pulls up at two for some reason. Flash goes up for the moonsault but gets crotched down. A release belly to back superplex from HHH sets up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and a decent little squash here for HHH. It also helped to establish Chyna as a bonus threat in HHH’s corner which would become a much bigger deal for him in the future. Funk was going to change his gimmick soon and be just Scorpio, as he probably should have been the entire time.

Post match Chyna easily lifts Funk onto her shoulders, walks him across the ring and crotches him down on the top rope.

We get some UFC footage of Ken Shamrock before the letters UFC meant anything to most fans.

Ken Shamrock says he’ll be in his zone for the match with Vader.

Rocky Maivia vs. Mankind

Maivia has lost the Intercontinental Title to Owen Hart so this is a non-title match. Before the match Rocky says he thinks success might have come to him too soon. Rocky scores with a few dropkicks to start and clotheslines Mankind out to the floor. Back in and a powerslam puts Mankind down again and it’s off to a hammerlock. Mankind finally ducks a shot from Rocky to send him to the floor. A cannonball attack off the apron puts Maivia down again and Mankind is in control.

Back in and Mankind pounds Rocky down into the corner before driving a running knee into his head. Rocky fights back but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Something resembling a snapmare over the top puts Mankind on the floor again as the match turns into a brawl. The move that would become known as the Rock Bottom slams Mankind into the steel ramp and back inside they go. Rocky gets two off his floatover DDT but Mankind comes right back with a discus lariat. A dropkick stuns Mankind so Rocky can go up top for his cross body, but Mankind rolls through and puts on the Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: C. I liked this better than the opener with Rocky continuing to lose after having such a hot streak to open his career. The counter to end the match worked quite well and that’s what you need for a match like this. We’ll definitely be coming back to this pairing near the end of the series.

Ad for the Austin 3:16 shirt. To call this a success is the understatement of the year.

We recap Crush trying to beat three guys in a row on Raw to show up Ahmed, but in true wrestling fashion, Ahmed was the third man and destroyed Crush.

Nation of Domination vs. Ahmed Johnson

This is a gauntlet match and if Ahmed can win, the Nation has to disband. Gorilla Monsoon ejects all the other members so that it’s one on one the entire time. It’ll be Crush starting for the Nation but Ahmed pounds away on him to start. An ax kick to the back of Crush’s head puts him down but Ahmed misses an elbow drop. Crush kicks Johnson in the chest and gets two off a middle rope clothesline. A suplex gets the same but Johnson comes back with an ugly looking sitout gordbuster for two.

We hit the sleeper from Crush and Ahmed is in trouble for a few moments. Crush waves the Nation down to ringside but they all stand pat. A piledriver puts Johnson down again but Crush looks at the Nation again instead of covering. Crush’s heart punch is countered into a spinning heel kick to the face for a fast pin.

A limping Savio Vega is in next but walks into a quick backdrop for two. Some clotheslines put him down again but he comes back with a spinwheel kick in the corner to stagger Johnson. Savio’s ankle seems perfectly fine and Ross thinks something is up. Vega goes after Johnson’s back as the match slows down.

Ahmed quickly breaks up a chinlock and hiptosses Savio down, only to miss a middle rope splash. Savio misses the running version though and a belly to back suplex gets two for Johnson. Ahmed calls for the Pearl River Plunge so Vega bails to the outside. Savio grabs a chair and blasts Johnson for the DQ, but the damage is already done.

That leaves Johnson vs. Faarooq with the latter’s arm in a sling. The sling lasts about five seconds and Faarooq pounds away even more. JR talks about Faarooq starting out as Ron Simmons and playing college football (JR’s obsession) but Johnson comes back with a spinebuster. Ahmed hits the Pearl River Plunge but the delayed cover only gets two, freaking the crowd out. A quick chop block from Faarooq sets up his Dominator finisher for the pin.

Rating: D. Johnson is not the kind of guy that you want to wrestle three straight matches like this. The guy had an awesome look and incredible power, but there’s only so much you can do with his limited skill set. The crowd died when Johnson got pinned as well, which isn’t a good idea given that heels are undefeated on this show.

We recap Vader vs. Ken Shamrock, which is really nothing of note. The match was announced and they stared at each other a lot.

Vader vs. Ken Shamrock

This is submission or knockout only. Feeling out process to start until Shamrock starts firing off some kicks to the legs. A kimura (standing armbar) sends Vader running to the ropes. More kicks to the legs have Vader in trouble and an attempted suplex sends him out to the floor. Back in and Vader stops trying to be smart and just pounds away at the ribs, only to have Shamrock easily German suplex him down. Some headbutts get Vader nowhere as Shamrock tries an ankle lock, his signature move in the UFC.

More kicks tot he legs and a spinning kick to the face have Vader staggered as this is getting repetitive. Vader throws Shamrock around and hits a HARD clothesline to take over. The big man lays on Shamrock’s arm but it doesn’t work that well since he’s probably never used a submission hold other than a bearhug. Shamrock counters into a kind of triangle choke but Vader lifts him up and drops him down to escape. Vader lifts him up and just casually drops him over the top, sending Shamrock down in a great looking crash.

Ken is sent face first into the steps and Vader’s nose is bleeding. Back in and Vader pounds away in the corner as this needs to wrap up soon. Vader lays on Shamrock’s legs and pulls on the ankle a bit until the fans finally start caring about the match. Shamrock is sent into the corner for a big beatdown and gets the same treatment in another corner. Vader’s moonsault mostly hits even though it wasn’t supposed to due to Shamrock not rolling away fast enough. Now it’s Shamrock pounding away in the corner but another HARD right hand puts him down. Not that it matters though as Ken trips Vader and wins with a quick ankle lock.

Rating: D. This is a hard one to grade because the match itself was horrible but they were trying something very different out there. Shamrock would get WAY better with more ring time but his early days weren’t pretty at all. Granted having Vader in there wasn’t the best idea in the world given how much of a hothead he could be.

Vader has trouble getting up due to the kicks to his legs being a bit too real and the ankle lock having a bit too much torque.

Austin doesn’t care that the Hart Foundation might be here for his match.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

The Hart Foundation shows up right before the bell, complete with Bret in a wheelchair (due to Austin’s attack). Austin jumps the champion to start but Undertaker fires off right hands of his own and sends Steve into the buckle. Steve bails to the floor and immediately pulls Brian Pillman over the barricade to pound on him a bit, only to have Undertaker punch Pillman back into the crowd. Back in and Undertaker gets two off a nice jumping clothesline before driving his shoulder into Austin’s over and over.

Old School connects for two as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for in this one. Austin pulls him down into a headlock on the mat but has to kick out of a few rollup attempts. Undertaker fights up but almost immediately gets taken back down in another headlock. They get up again and Austin actually backflips out of a suplex, which you aren’t likely to ever see again. A chop block puts Undertaker down but he pulls himself into the corner and fires off right hands. Austin heads to the floor and trips Undertaker down so he can wrap the leg around the post.

Steve tries to slam the knee into the post again but Undertaker pulls his legs back, sending Austin face first into the post instead. The champion can’t follow up though and Austin stomps on the knee even more. He hooks an STF of all things but Taker makes it to the rope. Austin tries to cannonball down onto the leg but Undertaker kicks him up and over the ropes to take over for the first time in awhile.

Now Undertaker goes after Austin’s heavily braced leg, which really should have happened more often than it did. Off to a half crab from the champion but Austin makes the rope. Undertaker misses a big boot and Austin takes out the leg he was working on earlier to regain control. Undertaker kicks his way out of a leg lock so Austin slams the back of the leg down onto the apron. A suplex gets two for Austin and he breaks up another Old School attempt by crotching Undertaker on top.

Taker breaks up a superplex attempt and tries a sleeper but Austin jawbreaks his way to freedom. They slug it out again with Undertaker gaining control again in the corner. Austin kicks him very low and the referee is fine with letting it continue. He yells at Austin though, allowing Undertaker to kick Austin low. A chokeslam puts Austin down but he rolls to the apron. Back in and Austin hits a quick Stunner but Brian Pillman jumps the barricade and rings the bell before the cover. Austin yells at Pillman, allowing Undertaker to tombstone Austin for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a fight with the ending both advancing stories and giving Austin a way to save face. Notice that he had the title won but shenanigans saved Undertaker. Also, it was Undertaker’s own move and nothing physical from Austin that got the pin. Both guys look strong and we get a definitive pin. That’s smart, efficient booking.

The Harts immediately jump the railing after the bell and go after the Undertaker, but they leave the wheelchair bound Bret alone. Austin goes after Bret and steals his crutch to clean house in the ring. Undertaker raises the title and gets a Stunner to end the show because that’s the kind of guy Austin is.

Overall Rating: C+. The Border War has breathed new life into this company and things are definitely picking up. At this point it’s clear that Austin is the future but he’s not quite there yet. The handling of Austin and the patience the WWF had with him is very impressive as they could have hotshotted the title to him at any point in 1997 but they held off for the big stage. The rest of the show is certainly acceptable, though the Shamrock vs. Vader match is pretty rough. Things are looking up though for the first time in many, many months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Finally Checked Out ESPN’s E:60 Behind The Curtain

I finally sat down and watched the E:60 documentary on WWE and I’m not entirely sure what I think of it. Therefore, it’s time to ramble until I find a conclusion.

First of all, I certainly liked it. They had an interesting take by going with people who weren’t the best known, but the more I thought about it, the more that makes sense. How would a Sami Zayn section have gone here? “My name is Sami Zayn and I was one of the top independent wrestlers in the world. Now I’m headlining NXT while I wait for the inevitable call up where I’ll blow the doors off the main roster.” That’s not exactly a thrilling piece.

This show was much more for people who haven’t seen NXT and aren’t familiar with it, as they don’t mention the fact that of the three guys, Woods is by far the biggest star and he’s really nothing special. That’s the right call though as you can only get so invested in people who are lower level talent.

That being said, it’s a very entertaining look at some of what happens when the cameras aren’t on. I know we can recite what happens in every match, but a lot of the time we forget what happens when the cameras aren’t on. It’s a good look at what happens behind the curtain (I see what they did there), which isn’t something we get very often. I would have loved for this to be longer, but what we got was really fun. Check out the deleted scenes about Colin Cassady and Tyler Breeze too as they’re both entertaining.




Impact Wrestling – May 8, 2015: Coming Attractions

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 8, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentator: Josh Matthews

For the first time in weeks, we actually have a special episode. This is airing live from Orlando with the promise of a former World Champion returning in the first five minutes. Other than that we have Kurt Angle defending the World Title against Eric Young to probably blow off their feud. Let’s get to it.

Eric Young is in the ring to start and promises to win the title back tonight. This brings out the returning World Champion and it’s Bully Ray, who will referee Angle vs. Young. Eh cool but it’s nothing earth shattering. It doesn’t help that it’s for Angle vs. Young which is just a placeholder until Cater challenges Kurt.

We get the opening recap video. They’re treating this like a huge show.

Here’s Ethan Carter to talk about the democratic process which has lead us to a gentlemen’s contest: arm wrestling. This brings out Mr. Anderson to show us the results: falls count anywhere wins with 85% of the vote. Shocking indeed.

Mr. Anderson vs. Ethan Carter III

This is billed as falls count anywhere but the rules make it sound hardcore. Anderson quickly sends Carter and Tyrus to the floor but the big man gets in some cheap shots. That’s fine with Anderson who sends Tyrus into the post and chases after Carter as he tries to get away. We get the first weapons brought in as Anderson pulls out a bunch of chairs to pile up on the floor.

A Mic Check onto the chairs doesn’t work so Carter backdrops Anderson onto the ramp for two. Carter makes the mistake of spitting in Anderson’s face, earning him a Regal Roll onto the chairs for two. Back in and Anderson hammers away before planting Carter with a swinging neckbreaker. Tyrus comes back in to earn his check with a t-bone suplex and a corner splash. The spike to the throat puts Anderson down for the pin at 5:39.

Rating: C-. Well that was quick but they were smart to keep this quick given how obvious the booking seems to be. Young is a guy who could bounce right back after all these losses so why not feed him to Carter to get us on the fast track to Angle vs. Carter? Everyone knows that’s where it’s going so why not just keep this quick?

Bully Ray likes the look of Angle’s World Title.

Gail Kim goes up to Awesome Kong and asks if they’re on the same side tonight. Kong walks away.

Quick recap of BDC vs. the Rising.

Here’s the BDC, wearing masks during their entrance, with something to say. MVP holds up his mask and says it belongs to Homicide, but he can’t be here tonight because someone blindsided him on his way back here, sending him to the hospital for surgery shoulder. Now he’s not saying the Rising did it, but they must know something about it. MVP goes on a rant about the American government taking foreign oil fields and being cheered, but when the BDC tries to take something, they’re called thugs. That’s a new word for something censored, which was probably a racial term given how MVP was going.

Cue the Rising, who says they fight in a ring instead of the streets. Think about it though: a man called Homicide isn’t the most endearing person in the world. The Rising had nothing to do with the injury, but maybe it was someone closer to home. Where was Kenny King last night for example? MVP says he doesn’t care about wrestling. It’s all about the money and power that comes with the job. Drew cares about workrate but MVP cares about interest rate. Wasn’t MVP the one who came to TNA to make things better for wrestling? MVP wants a match right now so let’s do it live. The brawl is on and we take a break.

MVP vs. Drew Galloway

Joined in progress after a break with MVP choking on the ropes and bending the arm around the ropes. A slam off the middle rope gets two and they trade big boots with Drew’s knocking MVP outside. Drew follows him and gets slammed head first into the barricade for a loud thud. Back in and the Playmaker is countered into the Futureshock to give Drew the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable but this is one of the least interesting feuds I can remember in a long time. They’re doing the right things, but there’s just nothing to make me care. The (maybe) racist part could be interesting and feels like Corgan’s first story addition. It’s not likely to make me care about the feud, but the wrestling and promos have been fine. I just don’t care.

Post match Eric Young (in CRAZY pink) comes in and helps the BDC beat down the Rising with a chair. Despite Young being an associate of the team when it formed, this is treated as a surprising turn of events.

James Storm is here with a present for a special friend. They should just call him Christmas because he’s always giving.

The preview for next week is all about Kurt Angle and asks who’s next. I know that’s a Destination America ad but it’s almost guaranteeing that Angle retains tonight.

Here’s James Storm with his present. He can talk about being tough and drinking beer, but it’s time to give someone else the spotlight. This brings out Mickie James to a very nice ovation, but Storm wants to talk about her being a mother. Everyone should love their mother, but Storm quickly switches over to Mickie’s music career. She’s an amazing mother, wrestler and singer, but she’s also a great friend. He holds up the box and it’s a new guitar. Storm tries to sing a bit but Mickie politely shakes her head no.

They take a picture together (not a selfie Storm) and here’s Magnus with a forced smile. Storm has a gift for him too: the spiked helmet from the Brutus Magnus days. Magnus and Mickie leave but Storm pulls out a blanket for their son Donovan. That’s too much for Magnus, who comes back in and breaks the guitar over Storm’s head. Like a truly creepy man, Storm starts smiling. They are NAILING this story and Storm is making it awesome. How can he be the same guy that led the worthless Revolution?

Eric Young wants the BDC to have his back to deal with Bully Ray tonight.

We go backstage at Robert Irvine Live (Gail Kim’s real life husband and a celebrity chef) where Taryn Terrell shows up. Gail gets in her face and that’s about it.

Gail Kim/Awesome Kong vs. Dollhouse

Jade jumps Gail to start but gets thrown down by a hurricanrana, so it’s off to Marti vs. Kong. Everyone but Taryn comes in and the Doll House is thrown into the same corner and splashed by the monster. We settle down to Marti hitting a running faceplant on Gail, setting up a cannonball from Jade for two.

Marti slams her down for two but it’s off to Jade, who is very slowly slammed down onto Gail’s knees. Kim’s Black Widow is broken up by Taryn but Gail dives over for the hot tag. The Dollhouse has to save their boss from an Implant Buster and everything breaks down. Jade takes an Implant Buster but Taryn counters the Eat Defeat on Marti with a rollup for the pin at 5:32.

Rating: C. This was fine and the right ending as I’m still loving Taryn and the Dollhouse as a whole. They’re setting up the big blowoff with Gail vs. Taryn, but I’m hoping we don’t get another Gail title reign. We’ve been there time after time and I don’t see what else she can do with the title.

We look at Jeff Hardy breaking his leg and see Matt holding both Tag Team Titles.

Magnus asks Mickie to have nothing to do with James Storm anymore. Mickie isn’t thrilled and leaves.

Here’s Matt Hardy to address the Tag Team Title situation. Jeff is going to be healing for a long time, so as of right now, the titles are vacant. That means it’s time for Matt to go home and figure out what’s next for him.

As he leaves, here are Bobby Roode and Austin Aries with something to say. Aries hasn’t forgotten Young putting him on a stretcher to send him out of the Impact Zone on a stretcher. That brings Aries to another piece of gold: the World Tag Team Titles, which seem to have a curse on them. Yeah they’re constantly being vacated, but that sounds like an opportunity. He and Roode have held the Tag Team Titles and didn’t get hurt, so Roode thinks the titles should be defended by two of the best wrestlers in the world today.

This brings out Davey Richards, who says no one has fought more battles for those belts than the Wolves. Aries likes the idea, but there’s no team in front of him. Not quite says Davey, because Eddie Edwards is back. Eddie has been cleared to wrestle and who better to start against than Roode and Aries? That’s fine with them, but Eddie wants to one up it: a best of five series. Hands are shaken and the series is on.

After a break, Matt Hardy goes to leave but Drew Galloway stops him to offer him some food for thought: things are changing a lot and he could use a good man.

Angelina Love is in the ring to talk about being asked everything going on lately. However, she just wants to talk about herself because she’s the only Beautiful Person around and the best Knockout ever. Cue Velvet Sky because these two are cursed to be around each other for all eternity. Velvet looks…..sleepy. Anyway, Angelina sucks up to her but Velvet, now with pink/purple highlights and a left arm tattoo sleeve doesn’t say anything. Instead it’s a spear to start a catfight as the fans are going mild. Security breaks it up.

Recap of Young beating Angle in a stretcher match last week.

Young asks Ray if he’s going to be the next one to stab him in the back. Ray says he’s just here to referee.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young

Bully Ray is refereeing and Angle is defending. Josh on Angle: “If anything ever happened to Captain America, Kurt Angle could easily be an Avenger.” A quick belly to belly puts Young down but he fires off some elbows in the corner to take over. Eric is sent to the apron so he runs to the top, only to have Kurt run the ropes and superplex him down. The BDC is watching from the stage as we take a break.

Back with Young getting two off a neckbreaker and choking in the corner. The chinlock slows Angle down for a bit before Angle fights up and wins a slugout. Now we hit the rolling Germans before the ankle lock sends Eric to the ropes. Kurt won’t let go so Eric rolls Angle out to the floor. A CRAZY low blow puts Ray down and the BDC starts triple teaming Angle.

This brings out Chris Melendez and the Rising to help Angle before fighting to the back. Young loads up a piledriver on Ray but gets backdropped down, setting up the Angle Slam for two on Eric. Why there hasn’t been a DQ called yet isn’t clear. Eric hits a quick piledriver for two but goes up for a cross body, only to have Angle roll through into the ankle lock to retain at 14:33.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the most obvious ending ever and an unnecessary brawl in the middle didn’t do it any favors. Now hopefully we can get away from the Young vs. Angle story and get on to Carter taking the title at Slammiversary because I never want to see Eric get another title shot.

Angle poses on the stage for a long time and no one attacks him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Good enough show this week but it’s really nothing memorable. Ray coming back is cool, but they would have been better off by not announcing it as a former World Champion as Dixie’s clues made it a pretty obvious reveal. The Sky return was the same obvious swerve, which doesn’t leave a lot going on here. This was basically a preview for what they have coming, which is fine as it’s the start of a new cycle, but there wasn’t much to see here.

Results

Ethan Carter III b. Mr. Anderson – Pin after a spike to the throat from Tyrus

Drew Galloway b. MVP – Futureshock

Dollhouse b. Gail Kim/Awesome Kong – Rollup to Kim

Kurt Angle b. Eric Young – Ankle lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Thought of the Day: So That Was…..Wow They Really Did That

Time for some house show discussion.I was looking at the results from an NXT house show today.  It wasn’t the most in depth card in the world, but the main event was Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks.  Let me say that again: the main event was Becky Lynch vs. Sasha Banks.

 

Think about this for a second: the main event of a house show was a Divas match.  Yeah, that sounds like a disaster in WWE, but if you saw that as the main event of an NXT show, would you really be disappointed?  The fans that I see that as the main event of a card and think “oh ok” tells you quite a bit about the way NXT runs.  As I’ve said before: if you build them up properly, the Divas can work very well.  That’s not what we’ve gotten anytime in the last ten years or so though and it holds them back quite a bit.




Smackdown – May 7, 2015: Wait, Don’t Tell Me

Smackdown
Date: May 7, 2015
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

We had a twist on Monday as Dean Ambrose was added to the fatal fourway at the pay per view for the World Title. While it’s likely that Ambrose was added to the match for the sake of taking the fall, he does add a fresh energy to the match that we haven’t seen so far. This show has a lot to live up to after Monday’s Raw. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Ambrose being added to the title match on Monday. Tonight we have a fourway contract signing.

Opening sequence.

Jerry Lawler is in the ring to open the show with an interview with the freshly crowned King Barrett. The new king doesn’t think much of Lawler because he just likes to call himself a king. Barrett on the other hand defeated three men in twenty four hours to prove his royal worth. If Lawler wants to be in the same ring with him, he must say ALL HAIL KING BARRETT.

Lawler can’t get any responds in before Barrett says Jerry is from the trailer parks of Memphis with that other fake king Elvis Pressley. Jerry won’t say the words so Barrett threatens a Bull Hammer. Cue Dolph Ziggler to call Barrett a Renaissance fair reject. A match is set up right now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

The King gets two off an early snap suplex and knee drop but Dolph dropkicks him out to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Dolph fighting out of a chinlock but getting kicked in the face for two more. Off to a double arm crank before Winds of Change gets yet another near fall. There’s the Fameasser for two but Sheamus runs in for the DQ at 6:29. Not enough show to rate but it was just there to set up the next match.

Neville runs out for the save and it’s time for a tag match.

Dolph Ziggler/Neville vs. Bad News Barrett/Sheamus

This is joined in progress with Sheamus driving Neville’s back into the apron and kicking him hard in the face. The Irish Curse gets two and it’s off to the King for another backbreaker. Neville tries to fight up but gets kicked in the face. There’s something so awesome about just kicking a guy in the face to put him down. We hit the chinlock from Sheamus before Neville breaks out of the ten forearms to the chest.

Sheamus is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s hot tag to Ziggler. Dolph fights off the UK contingent and hits the running DDT for two on Barrett. A superkick gets the same but Ziggler has to duck a Brogue Kick. Neville’s flip dive takes Sheamus down and Neville is right back up to break Barrett’s rollup with feet on the ropes (like any evil monarch should do). The Zig Zag gives Ziggler the pin over Barrett at 5:45 shown.

Rating: C. We were just kidding ourselves when we thought this was leading somewhere new for Barrett. He hasn’t even been king two weeks yet and he’s already getting pinned in a tag match. This is a match that really should have gone to a countout or DQ instead of having any of the four getting pinned. Let them fight another day so the pin can mean something more, or maybe have Ziggler, the most expendable of the four, take the fall.

Ambrose calls himself the chaos theory in the Authority’s equation. He’s the last guy you want in the match because he’s the last guy walking out with the title.

Luke Harper vs. Fandango

This should be painful. Harper teases some Fandangoing before the match and then boots Fandango in the face. Fandango scores with some dropkicks but Harper shrugs off a DDT. The big man nails a superkick of his own and the discus lariat is good for the pin on the dancer at 1:33.

Post match Erick Rowan comes out and beats up Fandango as well. It’s not like either has done anything in a few months so why not let them be a team again?

Here’s a smiling Lana with something to say. Before she can get there though, she takes the time to soak in a Lana chant. She asks them to stop though as the chants anger Rusev. This brings out the man himself to send Lana to the back while he gets the real work done. In this case that’s the same promo he’s done about Cena for months now, as he promises to make Cena quit at Payback. This somehow takes two minutes and various Russian to accomplish.

Roman Reigns says he’s been Orton’s rival forever and he hates Rollins, so the only person he can like in the ring is Ambrose. The quicker he signs tonight, the faster he can punch his way to the title. This is the kind of short, to the point promo that Reigns needs to stick with. There isn’t time for him to say something stupid and it stayed on point.

New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/???

It’s mystery partner time. Kidd/Cesaro have recruited…..Ryback. There are worse options out there. Ryback and Kingston get things going but Kofi has to stop to call off the NEW DAY SUCKS chants. They actually trade hammerlocks to start until Ryback hits an atomic drop so Kidd can nail a dropkick for two. Off to Woods but Cesaro tags himself in to nail a clothesline for two of his own.

In a cool spot, Ryback and Cesaro hit delayed verticals on Big E. and Woods. At the same time, Kidd comes in for a suplex of his own but does a snap instead. All three guys get in on the NEW DAY SUCKS stomps on Woods but he’s still able to escape the Sharpshooter. New Day winds up on the floor and all three get flattened by dives and clotheslines as the fans are WAY into Ryback and Cesaro/Kidd. Big E. finally drives Kidd into the apron and barricade a few times to take over. Back from a break with Woods jumping in with a tornado DDT for two on Kidd.

Big E. sends Tyson flying with a suplex but Xavier misses a charge in the corner. Kofi tries to break up the hot tag but Kidd gets to Ryback, who immediately cleans house. Everything breaks down and Cesaro does his running uppercuts spot and loads up the Swing, drawing in Big E. for the save. Instead Cesaro dropkicks Kofi down and the Andre/Snuka splash position sets up Kidd’s elbow drop on Kingston. Everything breaks down and Ryback stalks Woods up the ramp…..as the lights go out. No one appears but Big E. runs Ryback over. In the distraction, Kofi rolls Kidd up and grabs trunks for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: B. New Day does indeed rock and they’re really gelling in the ring. You couple that with a team like Cesaro/Kidd and someone who is figuring out how to be the wrecking ball in Ryback and you have a really solid match. The Wyatt stuff was fine as it gives you an out to end the match without anyone looking bad. Good stuff here as these guys just get better and better every week.

Orton says his strategy for the pay per view hasn’t changed because he’s going to take out anyone he has to in order to become champion. One of the members of Shield goes down tonight.

Naomi vs. Emma

Naomi and Tamina’s inset interview talks about how they’re going to remind everyone what they can do. Emma gets sent into the corner to start but does the same to Naomi for an early near fall. A neckbreaker into a nipup puts Emma back down though and a dropkick gets two. Some rollups get more near falls for Emma but the Rear View is enough for the pin at 3:26.

Rating: D+. Just a squash as Emma has somehow fallen even further down the ladder since Santino left. She’s a perfect example of someone who got over in NXT and was completely wasted on the main roster. I know there were outside circumstances, but there was no future for her when she was turned into just another smiling Diva with no distinct personality.

Tamina superkicks Emma for good measure.

Tough Enough videos.

Rollins says this is his title and thinks Kane sounds desperate when he tries to take credit for any of Rollins’ success. Seth has the mind that Kane will never have and it drives him crazy.

Los Matadores vs. Lucha Dragons

New gear for the Dragons. Kalisto and Fernando start and we’re in a chinlock 22 seconds after the bell. Thankfully Kalisto gets up after half a second and headlocks Fernando down before it’s off to Cara for a slingshot hilo. Diego comes in with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two but Cara finally comes back with a springboard double cross body. He tries a headstand in the corner but gets kicked down to the floor, allowing Torito to get in a cheap shot as we take a break. In this match?

Back with Cara slamming Fernando down and making the hot tag to Kalisto for a cross body of his own. The twisting cross body puts Diego down and the short hurricanrana does the same. Kalisto’s handspring into a spinning kick to the head stuns Fernando again, allowing Cara to small package him for the pin at 8:25. There was no need for a break in this match.

Rating: C. I would say this is a passing of the torch but Los Matadores have been in the dark since they debuted. The Lucha Dragons are far better in the role anyway and can get the crowd going with the LUCHA LUCHA LUCHA chants. Not a great or even good match but the fans were into the Dragons.

Los Matadores blame Torito for the loss.

Kane is here to emcee the contract signing. After a brief intro, he calls out all four participants as this is already taking a long time. Seth chills on the stage, prompting Ambrose to call him Justin Bieber. I really, really hope that isn’t foreshadowing the appearance of that horrible person. Seth mocks Reigns’ lack of speaking ability so Reigns has a sentence for him: He’s going to sign this contract and then take Seth’s head off. The fans chant for Randy and all three challengers sign.

Seth wants Kane to sign for him but Kane says do it yourself. Mercury is told to bring the contract to Rollins, but Seth would rather insult everyone instead of signing. Apparently Roman used to call Ambrose a Roddy Piper knockoff and Reigns can sign autographs better than he can wrestle. Orton is spoiled and only here because of his old man. Seth finally gets inside and signs and hands them to Kane, who he refers to as Mr. Obsolete.

We get the same argument for the 193rd time but Ambrose moves the table out of the way. “We all know how this is going to end anyway so I call dibs on the table.” The brawl is on with Ambrose throwing the chairs over the top, and hitting Noble in the head. Rollins dropkicks Reigns into Ambrose but has to bail from an RKO. Dean and Roman get into it but it’s the RKO to Ambrose, Superman Punch to Orton and springboard knee to Reigns to leave Rollins standing tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The long ending segment didn’t do much for me, but even worse is that I can barely remember what happened on this show two hours after it started. Looking back it wasn’t bad, but there’s no staying power to this episode. When your big moments are Erick Rowan turning heel again and the Lucha Dragons splitting up with their mascot, it’s clearly just a filler show. You really shouldn’t need one of those with three weeks between pay per views.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett via DQ when Sheamus interfered

Dolph Ziggler/Neville b. Sheamus/Bad News Barrett – Zig Zag to Barrett

Luke Harper b. Fandango – Discus lariat

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Ryback – Rollup to Kidd with a handful of trunks

Naomi b. Emma – Rear View

Lucha Dragons b. Los Matadores – Small package to Fernando

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Hideo Itami Injured, Could Be Out 6-8 Months

Due to a bad shoulder.  He was starting to figure it out but now this stops his momentum cold.  Maybe he can come back with a character though as he’ll have more time to work on his presence and talking ability.




New Column: Lucha x3

You all know I love this show.  I don’t know why you should be surprised that I felt like writing about it.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-lucha-x3/35454/




NXT – May 6, 2015: Why Would I Want To Stop This?

NXT
Date: May 6, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re two weeks away from Takeover: Unstoppable where Sami Zayn (shoulder permitting) will be challenging Kevin Owens for the NXT Title. Other than that, we’re closing in on the showdown between Blake/Murphy and Enzo/Big Cass, which hinges around Carmella’s possibly changing allegiances. As usual there’s a lot of other good stuff going on in NXT so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Emma vs. Charlotte

Emma still has Bayley’s I’m A Hugger shirt and headbands, which she won’t throw to the crowd. Charlotte gets caught in a headlock to start but gets taken down into a headscissors. A cravate with some knee lifts has Emma in even more trouble until she nails Charlotte in the knee to break up something off the middle rope. The knee gets driven into the apron and wrapped around the ropes as Emma seems to have been watching some Flair film.

Back in and something like a standing Curb Stomp to the back draws a BAN THAT MOVE chant and it’s right back to the knee with a knee drop from Emma to Charlotte’s knee. Off to a half crab for a bit before Emma tries to drive the knee into the mat, only to have Charlotte land on her feet. A spear (BETTER THAN REIGNS!) gets two for Charlotte and Natural Selection connects for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C+. This match is a good example of the difference between the NXT girls and the WWE Divas: these girls know how to work a match instead of just doing moves in some order. This felt like it had a logical flow to it instead of going from beginning to end and filling in the gaps here and there. Good little match here, though the knee work didn’t mean much.

Bayley comes out post match and helps Emma up. They hug…..but Bayley doesn’t let go. The Belly to Bayley puts Emma down and Bayley hammers away until Charlotte breaks it up. Bayley gets her stuff back.

Video on Becky Lynch, who talks about going around the world and wrestling everywhere.  She wound up here in green and dancing a jig because she’s Irish.  That’s not the real Becky Lynch and she’s not going to stand for it.

We get a sitdown interview with Michael Cole talking to Kevin Owens. What he did to Sami Zayn was personal, but because Sami wants the NXT Title back. The title means a better life for his family and that’s all that matters. Cole presses him on this and Owens repeats himself but Cole still doesn’t buy it. He asks if Owens would have done the same to anyone other than Zayn. That brings Owens back to the night he won the title, when Renee Young asked him about Sami instead of winning the title.

Cole hasn’t even congratulated him on winning the title in the last two months, so Cole does just that, but asks for some respect in return. How could Kevin do what he did to someone who was close enough to him to be family? Cole asks about Sami being Owens’ best man, but Owens won’t get caught by a journalist’s question. The truth is that Owens can’t give him what he wants, but he’s a good father who provides for his family. Oh and follow him on Twitter. This was a very different kind of Cole and I can’t say I disliked him.

Bull Dempsey vs. Rhyno

This could be fun if they keep it short. The fans are behind Rhyno as the guys slug it out, followed by a quick belly to belly from Rhyno, followed by the Gore for the pin at 1:10. Smart choice there.

Post match, Rhyno says he wants Baron Corbin. That would be the next logical step.

Sasha Banks looks at a picture of Fabulous Moolah and says Moolah was the best until she came along. Becky Lynch is trying to use her to make a name for herself, but don’t forget who made Lynch in the first place.

The man formerly known as Uhaa Nation signs his contract.

We get a video on Nation, where he talks about everyone coming here and wanting to be a champion. He’s studied the great ones’ history, but now its time to begin his history. No new name is given.

Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder vs. Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady

Enzo and Cass are nowhere in sight. Fans: “WHERE IS ENZO???” We cut to the back where Enzo and Cass are destroyed by Blake and Murphy as Carmella shouts at them to stop.

Sami has his own sitdown interview with Cole where he says Owens is lying about it not being personal. It drives Sami nuts that Owens has to keep playing these games with him. Next week, Sami will be waiting in the ring so how about they look each other in the eyes and have Owens explain why he did it. If Owens is some family man, set an example for his son and say why he did it.

We get a clip from Cena vs. Sami on Raw but it’s not clear if Sami will be ready to go for Takeover.

William Regal is in the ring for the contract signing between Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks. Before signing, Becky lists off the countries she’s wrestled in over the years and still can’t believe she’s here. She’s made mistakes and sacrifices along the way but they were all worth it to get here, because she’s ready to take over. Becky signs but Sasha drops the pen and pulls out a stamp for her signature instead. Fans: “LIKE A BOSS!” Sasha strikes the first blow and puts Lynch’s face on the table with her foot on Becky’s head. The table is finally turned over and Lynch slaps on her seated armbar to make Banks tap.

Clip of Owens destroying Alex Riley after breaking up Riley’s match against Sami last week.

Riley says he’s having his second knee operation in two years. It’s a big risk, but that’s how his career has gone from leaving the Miz to leaving his commentary job to get back in the ring to demanding another match against Kevin Owens. However, last week when he was laid out, he heard a THANK YOU OWENS chant. That’s what the fans want? The last shot of last week’s show was Sami Zayn. That’s what Commissioner Regal wants? Well he saw the last time Sami fought Owens and it didn’t go well for Zayn. We’re not going to be seeing Alex Riley for a long time, because that’s what the people want.

Dana Brooke says she’s been on a role since she was born. She’s seen the new Tapout commercial and can’t believe Charlotte is in there instead of the Total Diva. She’ll run circles around Charlotte the next time she sees her. Deal with it.

Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze

Finn Balor is at ringside. They circle each other to start until a wristlock sends Breeze running to the floor. Back in and Breeze bails again at the threat of a big kick. Hideo talks to the referee for some reason and gets kicked in the ribs (by Breeze, not the referee), but he nails Breeze in the ribs with a knee to take over. Breeze takes a break on the floor and we take a regular one. Back with Itami dropping some knees to the head and taking his kneepad off for a big one, only to kick Breeze in the jaw instead. Fans: “Hideo’s gorgeous!/No he’s not!”

Tyler comes back with a variety of stomps and a legdrop for two before we hit the chinlock. A big dropkick puts Itami down again but he punches Breeze out of the air. The top rope clothesline gets two for Itami and the fans want the GTS. They fight to the floor and Itami’s Shotgun Kick hits Balor by mistake. Back in and the second Shotgun Kick puts Breeze down for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C. Itami is getting there but it’s some of the slowest progression I’ve ever seen. Breeze didn’t seem to have his same fire tonight, but at least they did a really good job of setting up the triple threat with the misplaced kick. The false finishes in that match should be great and this was hardly torture to get through.

Breeze goes after Itami post match but Balor makes the save. That earns Balor a Supermodel Kick and Itami gets a Beauty Shot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was all about setting up the Takeover show and that was done nearly to perfection. The Title match is already set up perfectly, the Tag Title match should be fine and there’s another awesome build towards the Women’s Title match, which has become the standard in NXT. Good show here, even without a focus on the wrestling.

Results

Charlotte b. Emma – Natural Selection

Rhyno b. Bull Dempsey – Gore

Hideo Itami b. Tyler Breeze – Shotgun Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6