Lucha Underground – April 22, 2015: Not Since NXT…..
Lucha Underground Date: April 22, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
We’re coming up on the season finale of this series, which is scheduled to end with a big PPV style show that hasn’t been announced on TV as of yet. The big story tonight is the finals of the Trios Titles tournament with the three way final for the inaugural titles. We also have Sexy Star vs. Pentagon with Star finally standing up to his evil. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap sets up the tournament final and a bit about Pentagon vs. Star.
Black Lotus says she isn’t sure when she gets to fight but she knows she’s ready. Now she’s just waiting on her master. We see a montage of her beating people up in shadow. The master shows up and easily puts her down, saying Lotus isn’t ready.
The house band plays us in. They could easily drop this in season 2.
The Trios Titles are at the commentary desk.
Sexy Star vs. Pentagon Jr.
Ring announcer Melissa Santos limps away after seeing Pentagon coming in due to him injuring her last week. Star takes over to start and the camera makes sure to keep showing Santos at ringside with the tape around her ankle. Pentagon comes back with a hard chop as the fans are split on who to cheer for, which Striker says represents the evil spreading throughout the temple.
Star sends him face first into the middle buckle and chokes in the corner, followed by something like a slingshot bronco buster for two. A HARD kick to the ribs puts Star back down so Striker calls him a no limit soldier. Please, ANYTHING but that horrible stable again. Bring back the Beverly Brothers before you make me sit through that one more time. Star rolls away from the armbar attempt and gets to the floor, only to start a chase scene capped off by a tornado DDT for two on Pentagon.
A dropkick puts him on the floor, setting up a big dive from Star to put both of them down again. Back up and Pentagon gets two off something like Project Ciampa (powerbomb into a Backstabber) for two. The armbar is escaped again and Star spins around his shoulders into a Backstabber of her own for the pin (with the referee ignoring the arms flailing everywhere, including off the mat).
Rating: C+. Good enough match here that likely sets up Pentagon’s master going after him for punishment. Pentagon should have been a bit more dominant and, perhaps, GONE AFTER THE ARM, but the action was good enough and you get a quick feel good moment with Santos some revenge.
Johnny Mundo is working out when Alberto El Patron comes in to remind Johnny that he lost last week. Alberto came here because of Johnny’s match with Prince Puma, which made it an even bigger surprise when Puma beat him in Aztec Warfare. Mundo isn’t cool with this line of speaking and says he isn’t just some guy that Alberto can slap around. Alberto tells him to chill and leaves.
The announcers talk about Drago’s huge night next week: either win the title or leave forever.
Trios Titles: Texano/Cage/King Cuerno vs. Mack/Big Ryck/Killshot vs. Ivelisse/Angelico/Son of Havok
Elimination rules with three in the ring at once (old school WCW triple threat tag rules for a BIG plus). I don’t know if it was mentioned earlier but Ryck and Mack are cousins. Angelico and Killshot double team Cage to start but he clotheslines both of them down with ease. A double suplex doesn’t go over with as much ease but it looks more impressive. Off to Cuerno, Angelico and Texano with Angelico getting double teamed, including Texano lifting him into the air for a knee to the face.
Killshot, who I believe is still legal, gets back in to give Angelico a breather so Cuerno kicks him in the ribs. Angelico gets stomped as well as Cuerno and company are dominating so far. A kick to the head staggers Cuerno and Killshot hits a double running knee to Texano’s chest. The referee is fine with four people being in the ring at once. Well five if you count the referee but who does that.
Mack comes in for a swinging slam on Texano, leaving us with a showdown of Mack vs. Havok. That’s fine with Mack who quickly dives over the top to take out Texano all over again. Havok teases a dive of his own but has to bail out, allowing Cage to take him down with a big clothesline. We get the big showdown between Ryck and Cage with Cage easily slamming the eyepatched one down.
Cage isn’t done though as he moonsaults down onto a big group of people, only to have Ryck take his head off with a clothesline back inside. Angelico hits a running knee off the apron to drive Texano into the front row, only to draw a “fan” (Daivari I believe) out to beat him up. Killshot hits a top rope double stomp to Texano and we have our first elimination as we go to a break, I believe for only the second time ever in this company. Oh that’s a nice thing to be able to say.
We come back after missing nothing (again, that’s REALLY nice to say) and Ryck splashing Angelico in the corner. Ivelisse seems to be holding her leg on the apron and Havok is nowhere to be seen. Mack chops Angelico down and Killshot hits a sick looking jumping kick to the back of the head for two. Ivelisse and Havok are back in the corner (adjacent to their opponents’ corner for some reason) but Angelico is still being destroyed.
Mack drops a top rope elbow to the back but Angelico is able to dump everyone not named Killshot and make the tag to Havok. Killshot is waiting for him with what looked like a running C4 for two but Havok blocks the top rope reverse hurricanrana. The injured Ivelisse goes up top but dives into the arms of Mack and Ryck. Havok dives onto all of them, leaving Angelico to hit the Fall of the Angels on Killshot for the pin and the titles in a nice surprise.
Rating: B. Fun match here and the ending wasn’t quite what I saw coming at first. It was a bit more obvious once Cuerno’s team was eliminated, but they gave it some good drama to get there. Also, I liked Angelico getting the pin instead of going with the more conventional idea of giving Ivelisse the big feel good win. Angelico has earned the right to get the pin in a big match.
We’re not done though as Cueto says there’s one more team and for fun, let’s make it a No DQ match. I don’t remember anyone not named Vince being this evil as the boss and I LOVE it.
Trios Titles: Angelico/Son of Havok/Ivelisse vs. The Crew
Anything goes. The Crew goes right after the winners on the floor and my fun is instantly marred as I can’t remember which Crew member is which. Bael stays on Ivelisse and the bad leg as we’re still waiting on anyone to get inside. Cisco beats up a mostly defenseless Angelico as Bael throws Ivelisse inside. Castro holds her for a cane shot but Havok remembers that he’s in this match and comes in for a save. Bael and Angelico go up the stairs with Angelico getting backdropped onto a platform above the ring.
Castro chokes Ivelisse with the stick as Havok gets suplexed off the barricade. That’s fine with him as he pops back up for a moonsault off the same barricade……AND ANGELICO DIVES OFF THE PLATFORM TO TAKE OUT CASTRO AND BAEL!!! Good night that was awesome and thankfully they let the match stop for a second to breathe. Ivelisse gets the stick and hammers on both downed guys before ordering her partners to the top. A stereo shooting star from Havok and double stomp from Angelico are enough to finally give us new champions.
Rating: B. The match wasn’t great but that dive was something else. I really liked the ending too as it felt like something special instead of just another title change. I don’t see them holding the belts for long but that’s a great way to give us the first set of champions. Angelico is on a roll right now and I actually want to see more of him, which isn’t something I say often.
Overall Rating: B+. This was WAY better than I was expecting and it got me into things in just forty five minutes. Outside of NXT, almost nothing is capable of doing that and it was a really nice surprise. This show has hit a huge groove and knows exactly what it wants to do every week, which is one of the most important things a wrestling company can do. The fact that Lucha Underground has done it in about six months is all the more impressive. Check this show out if you want a fun hour of wrestling that flies by.
NXT – April 22, 2015: The New Plan
NXT Date: April 22, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Rich Brennan
We haven’t heard from NXT Champion Kevin Owens in a good while so it’s probably time to get him out here for more greatness. Alex Riley has called Owens out to meet him in the ring tonight because, due to quitting his commentary job, Riley has nowhere else to go but the ring. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Finn Balor vs. Tye Dillinger
Balor starts with some dropkicks as the fans want him to KILL THE JOBBER. The Pele sets up the Sling Blade and the Coup de Grace ends Dillinger at 2:28. This was an old school squashing and Balor looked great.
Tyler Breeze pops up on screen to call Finn Balor the flavor of the month. See you around Finn.
Dana Brooke says last week was the rebirth of the women’s division in NXT because it was the debut of the strongest Diva ever. It’s play time.
Kevin Owens is asked his thoughts on the match with Riley tonight but first, he thinks it’s cold. Riley gave him a good fight a few weeks back but he’s never going to be NXT Champion. After the loss tonight, he can go find a chair, table and headset to use because his future isn’t in the ring. If you’ll excuse him, he’d like to go find a coat.
Charlotte vs. Bayley vs. Becky Lynch
#1 contenders match. Becky gets double teamed to start and Bayley throws her to the floor, setting up another showdown between herself and Charlotte. A chop out goes to Charlotte (of course) and we hit the figure four headlock with the flips to knock Bayley senseless. Becky sneaks back in with a nice German suplex to take Charlotte down and we take a break. Back with Becky dropping some running legs on Bayley for two.
Off to a knee hold as we get what might be the first ever crawler advertising NXT live shows. A limping Bayley fights out of the corner but charges into a knee. Becky outs on a complicated leg lock but Charlotte breaks it up with Natural Selection and no cover. The fans think that this is wrestling and better than the Divas.
Becky pulls Charlotte off the middle rope to break up a superplex attempt but Charlotte pulls her away from the corner into a powerbomb with Bayley adding a middle rope elbow to the jaw to drive Lynch down. Charlotte pulls Becky off the cover and puts her bad leg in the Figure Eight (the official name for the bridging version). Charlotte can’t see though and Becky drapes her arm over Bayley for the pin at 11:32 with the hold still on.
Rating: B. The girls continue to steal the show and Becky is getting better every week. Lynch vs. Banks could be something interesting given their history and now I have a reason to believe it could be a good match. Charlotte has nothing left to do in NXT and is ready for the main roster and the destruction of her career as a result. Bayley needs to find something to do as she’s been running in still adorable circles for a while now.
CJ Parker vs. Hideo Itami
Dang Parker just won’t leave. Parker stalls to start as the fans want Hideo to kick his head off. A headlock slows Itami down but he drives a knee into Parker’s ribs to set up some kicks for two. CJ punches him in the corner and gets two off a suplex. Another attempt doesn’t work though and it’s time for the strike off. A running delayed corner dropkick sets up the Shotgun Kick to give Hideo the pin at 4:06.
Rating: D+. This has to be Parker’s last match as I can’t find anything else taped for him. Hideo looked better here and it seems that the GTS is going to be his super finisher when he isn’t using the Shotgun Kick. This did its job of getting Hideo back on track after his big moment was treated like nothing special by Big Show at Wrestlemania.
Becky Lynch doesn’t like Sasha Banks taking credit for her career.
Rhyno vs. ???
No name for the jobber. Gore ends this in 27 seconds.
Blake and Murphy sing to Carmella when Enzo and Cass come up to accuse the two Sinatras of having Halitosis. Carmella is wearing the jewelry they gave her and that’s not cool either. Cass brings up getting Carmella a job.
Alex Riley vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title and no sign of the coat. Owens gets in his face in the corner but Riley shoves him into the same corner. A nice dropkick sends Owens outside and the champ needs a breather. The mind games begin as Owens won’t get back inside, which eventually draws Alex outside for a whip into the barricade.
We come back from a break with Owens choking on the middle rope and not seeing Riley as much of a threat. The backsplash gets two and we hit the chinlock. Riley fights up and hits a running elbow in the corner, followed by a flipping neckbreaker. He gets crotched on top though, setting up the Cannonball and Pop Up Powerbomb for the pin at 8:44.
Rating: C-. I wasn’t wild on this one as it was basically a less energized version of their first match. Owens is a killer and looked fine while Alex looked like he could still go in the ring, but we knew those things after their match in Columbus. Not much to see here but Owens is always entertaining with his explosiveness.
Post match Owens loads up the apron powerbomb but Sami Zayn comes out for the big brawl. Security comes out but Sami dives on the pile to send Owens running away to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t the best show but it seems that this was a show taped out of order which took away a lot of the chemistry. Sami coming out to go after Owens was a great sign though as it’s time to pick things up all over again, likely for the next upcoming Takeover. Not a great show but it set up the future and gave us a good triple threat.
Results
Finn Balor b. Tye Dillinger – Coup de Grace
Becky Lynch b. Charlotte and Bayley – Lynch pinned Bayley while Bayley was in the Figure Eight
Hideo Itami b. CJ Parker – Shotgun Kick
Rhyno b. ??? – Gore
Kevin Steen b. Alex Riley – Pop Up Powerbomb
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Monday Nitro – November 29, 1999: The Depths Of Russo’s Madness
Monday Nitro #216 Date: November 29, 1999 Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado Attendance: 12,881
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
We’re less than three weeks away from Starrcade and usually that would mean some of the matches should be clear. At the moment though, the field is almost wide open and given who is in charge, I’m not sure if we should expect to get any development this week either. Last week’s main event was at least a calm match for a change. Let’s get to it.
This episode is dedicated to Hiro Matsuda, who trained Hulk Hogan, Lex Luger, Scott Hall and Ron Simmons among others.
We open with Goldberg making his full entrance and taking his sweet time in doing so. Goldberg gets right to the point: he’s not cool with the Outsiders playing comedy games most of the time and then hitting him with a chair last week. Goldberg liked the chair though and he’s ready for some payback. He has Nash tonight and Hall better stay away from the ring. Cue the Outsiders to say they have five words for Goldberg: don’t sing it, bring it. They make it to the middle of the aisle, but Sid comes out and says he’s the new babyface in town. The brawl is quickly broken up by security, which is more than I was expecting.
Tony and Heenan run down the card. Hang on for this one.
Nash vs. Goldberg – No DQ, no countout
Hall vs. Sid for the US/TV Titles – No DQ, no countout
Hart vs. Meng for the World Title – No DQ, no countout
Sting vs. Jarrett vs. Benoit – #1 contenders match for a title shot after Starrcade
Jerry Only vs. Steve Williams – Cage
Mud wrestling with wrestlers to be announced
THIS IS ON ONE TV SHOW WITH NO BUILDUP. Three street fights, a cage match, a triple threat and mud wrestling.
Roddy Piper arrives with some fairly big (for wrestling that is) women. One of them appears to be Rhonda Singh, who you might remember as Bertha Faye from 1995 WWF.
Luger is here in a new suit and carrying papers.
The Mamalukes are on the phone with Tony Marinara, who tells them to deal with Disco Inferno and Lash Leroux.
Tag Team Titles: Creative Control vs. Buff Bagwell/Booker T.
The twins are defending of course and have Hennig with them. Buff starts with we’ll say Patrick and the twin gets cross bodied and dropkicked into the corner. Off to Gerald and Booker as Tony says Bagwell has won over five Tag Team Titles of his own, which is of course inaccurate (five reigns).
Back to Patrick for a gutwrench suplex on Booker but Mr. T. nails an ax kick, allowing for the hot tag to Bagwell, despite the match not even being three minutes old yet. Bagwell cleans house and everything breaks down. Buff mostly misses the Blockbuster but the other twin offers a distraction, allowing Hennig to hit Bagwell with a chair to retain.
Midnight comes out for the post match save.
Russo is livid that he has to book some Japanese guy named Jushin Thunder Liger. That’s not me being sarcastic. Russo actually referred to him as “some Japanese guy.” If Guerrera can beat him tonight for the IWGP Light Heavyweight Title (again his words), he’ll take care of Juvy’s visa issues. Russo has a plan to make sure this happens. If he wants Juvy to win and take care of his visa issues, why not just take care of them?
Luger threatens to sue Liz over breach of contract, hence the papers earlier. She offers to do anything to make him drop the suit, which intrigues Luger.
Piper can’t get in to see Russo but is fine with waiting if he gets the $3 million a year. Our hero everyone.
Singh and the other girl wonder what they should wear for their match tonight.
Symphony (Ryan Shamrock) receives flowers and a love letter from Maestro.
Jeff Jarrett doesn’t care about angering Dustin Rhodes and blasts Tenay with a guitar. Where was he during those One Night Only shows?
Here’s Brian Knobbs with something to say. That might be better than having him wrestle. He wants Norman Smiley (who he calls a woman) out here right now for a fight over the Hardcore Title. We cut to the back to see Norman cowering because he doesn’t have his protective gear.
Finlay walks by to send Norman diving under a table as he goes to the ring to fight Knobbs in Smiley’s place. Finlay comes out to the ring and throws Knobbs a kendo stick for a duel. This goes about as you would expect for a fight to go against Finlay, as he beats Knobbs down and cuts his hair. Finlay says if Knobbs wants to be a soldier, he can look like one.
The Mamalukes take Okerlund to a strip club. Ok then.
Russo yells at Hennig and the twins for getting beaten up by Midnight and makes Hennig vs. Midnight later tonight.
Piper is ready for the mud wrestling and cracks some bad jokes.
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Juventud Guerrera
Guerrera is challenging/trying to get a work visa and neither guy gets an entrance. Ten seconds in, Buzzkill comes out carrying a Down With Big Brother sign. They run the ropes to start until Juvy hits a sitout bulldog ala Rey Mysterio. Liger is sent to the floor for a springboard dive but comes back in with a frog splash for two. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker sets up the surfboard as the fans finally wake up a bit.
Liger gets two more off a belly to belly and Juvy taps, which means nothing in this case for reasons not explained. They fight over a backslide as Buzzkill wants them to give peace a chance. Tony actually brings up Buzzkill’s matches against Liger back in the early 90s but Buzzkill doesn’t acknowledge him. Eh points for trying I guess. Juvy hits a Stunner over the top rope but Liger escapes the Juvy Driver and grabs a German suplex. Buzzkill offers a distraction though, allowing Juvy to hit Liger in the head with a bottle of tequila for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. I wasn’t shocked to find out that New Japan didn’t acknowledge this title change for years. Russo has deemed a worthless hippie character (the character, not the wrestler) more important than one of the best cruiserweight wrestlers of all time. This shouldn’t surprise you, as Russo clearly has no respect for wrestling whatsoever. The match was nothing to see as it barely broke five minutes and the guys were just doing moves until we got to the stupid ending.
Chavo Guerrero has taken over the interviews for the night and offers to sell us some fine china for $39.99. Oh and Dr. Death and Oklahoma (his official name now) are going to destroy Jerry Only.
Symphony gets another gift from Maestro.
Gene is getting drunk at the club. Because GENE OKERLUND needs a story.
Chavo tries to sell the Outsiders a home security system before asking when he’s going to start defending the TV Title. Well that would be tonight if you listened to Tony earlier. Hall is annoyed that he hasn’t gotten to meet any TV stars or received any free TV dinners so he throws the title belt to Nash, who throws it in a trash. That makes two titles trashed either literally or figuratively in less than an hour. To be fair though, that thing died during Steiner’s first reign.
Here’s the Revolution with an American flag, which they immediately throw down and step on. Douglas brags about taking out the Filthy Animals from the inside and now the Animals are gone. The Revolution isn’t cool with a Canadian like Hart holding the World Title and doesn’t like the fans cheering him. Malenko was booed when he eat a Canadian last week so he’s fed up with America.
The Revolution is declaring themselves a sovereign nation and they all have snake names. Malenko will be the Python, Shane will be the Rattler, Asya will be the Boa and Saturn will be……the Trouser? This of course brings out Jim Duggan to talk about America and swing the 2×4, which clearly twists around in his hands because it’s made of foam. I had one of those when I was a kid. The Revolution beats him down and does the Iwo Jima pose over him with the American flag. Benoit finally makes the save like a good Canadian. You can add the Revolution to the list of things Russo didn’t understand. Oh and put WOOD on there too.
Speaking of Russo, he wants Piper in his office.
The Wall issues an open challenge for the Block, which is a SHOOT in a boiler room.
Piper can’t come in to see the boss because he has to go to the bathroom to take a Vince Russo. So if he can say Russo’s name, why can’t anyone else?
US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Hall
Street fight. This would be a bait and switch on the TV Title no? Heenan rips on Sid’s talking abilities on the way to the ring. Nash sits in on commentary and his first line is to call the TV Title a piece of garbage. Sid hammers on the champ but gets distracted by the shine on Nash’s hair, allowing Hall to rake the eyes to take over.
The Outsider’s Edge doesn’t work so Sid grabs a chokeslam, only to bump the referee. There’s the powerbomb but Nash comes in, only to get kicked in the face. Jarrett runs out with a guitar to break up the powerbomb on Nash before putting Hall on top to retain. That would be worthless street fight #1 of the evening.
Goldberg comes out (in a t-shirt for some reason) and hits Jarrett with the worst spear I’ve ever seen from him.
Gene is still at the club and dancing with what appear to be strippers. Is there a point to this anytime soon?
As expected, the women will be in the mud later.
The Nitro Girls get in a food fight and the mud wrestler starts choking. Juvy runs in with the Heimlich for the save. It’s as random as it sounds.
Jerry Only vs. Steve Williams
Escape only. Williams pounds on the singer to start and scores with a powerslam as Oklahoma is in on commentary. Heenan: “Why do you say everything three times?” Oklahoma: “It’s my gimmick son.” Williams stays on Only but Vampiro and the Misfits jump the barricade and cover Oklahoma in barbecue sauce. The Oklahoma Stampede (running powerslam) plants Only but Williams throws him through the door to give Jerry the win. The announcers treat this as nothing of interest.
Quick sidebar on Oklahoma: why is this supposed to be funny? He doesn’t say anything outlandish other than talk about barbecue sauce, which is hardly wild stuff. The football obsession is nothing new. What is the joke here supposed to be? What good is it to mock a guy by calling moves? Isn’t that what he’s supposed to be doing? Ross is known for being over the top, so the parody is acting a lot like him but as a comedic guy? It’s more like a caricature than a parody, which again isn’t funny.
Guerrera says he saved the choking girl with mouth to mouth. Russo calls her a wildebeest. Here’s the thing: yeah she’s bigger than say Lita or Stacy Keibler, but the commentators are basically calling a fat cow. She has a fairly pretty face and is far from fat, but since this is a Russo company, all women have to range from evil to fat to stupid to property of some man to just a sex character.
Luger has an idea.
Bret Hart knows he has a tough fight in Meng but he’s ready to fight. Chavo says the shine in Bret’s hair is due to the hair care product Chavo sold him. Wait. You have HAIR product and you pitched a security system to KEVIN NASH??? No wonder you bombed as a salesman. Know your customers!
WCW World Title: Bret Hart vs. Meng
No DQ, no countout, which isn’t mentioned during the introductions. Bret hammers away to start and gets clubbered down for his efforts. More right hands from the champ are countered by a backhand punch to the face. A running boot to the face gets two and Meng plants Hart with a shoulder breaker. Bret comes back with the Five Moves but Hall comes in and the referee goes down. Meng puts Hall in the Tongan Death Grip but Nash slides in and goes off on Meng with a kendo stick. They go after Hart but Benoit comes out with a stick of his own to beat up the Outsiders. Bret goes back in and puts on the Sharpshooter for the TKO.
Rating: D. The match was nothing, but I liked Bret’s promo (minus Chavo) before. It was old school Bret where he praised his opponent but said he was just that much better. That’s Bret’s bread and butter and it still worked here. I’ll even give them points to building Meng over the last few weeks and then giving him a match like this. The booking of the match went down hill, but this was a logically built match with a decent pre-match promo.
However, at the same time, the curse of Russo strikes again. The problem with Russo is simple: if you’ve seen one of his grand conspiracy storylines, you’ve seen them all. There are little signs here and there and once you know what to look for, it becomes really obvious. Now that being said, it had only been seen once in 1999 so it wasn’t such a problem. What it means though is the story worked back then and doesn’t hold up as well now.
Now Symphony gets a bear.
Luger has an idea to pop the ratings. Would that involve Luger taking a long vacation?
Tygress and Spice fight again with Tygress being thrown into a shower.
Madusa is in Evan’s locker room and talks him into a Cruiserweight Title shot at Starrcade with the power of the lips and silicone.
As expected, Luger tells Russo that Liz will be in the mud.
Chavo is interviewing Sting when Liz comes up to beg him for help. Just like last week, Sting doesn’t care.
Chris Benoit vs. Sting vs. Jeff Jarrett
One fall to a finish and the winner gets a World Title shot at some point after Starrcade. Jeff wins a slugout with Sting to start but Benoit suplexes Jarrett down for two. All three beat on each other for near falls until Jarrett comes out on top of it and punches Sting up against the ropes.
Benoit flips out of a belly to back suplex but Sting splashes him by mistake. Well in theory as you can’t tell anyone’s motivation these days. The Stroke is countered into a Crossface but Sting breaks it up. Cue Liz for a distraction so Luger can hit Sting with a chair, but Jarrett hits Benoit with the guitar. This brings Dustin Rhodes through the crowd with I think the bell to knock Jarrett out, giving Benoit the pin.
Rating: C-. Oh yeah Benoit won but it only took three people running in, a chair, a guitar and the ring bell with Benoit getting the pin while being unconscious for a title shot somewhere down the line. Thank goodness on that one as they were getting close to making someone look strong.
The Mamalukes leave the club with some girls, meaning Gene is on his own.
Symphony goes up to see Maestro but it’s David Flair in a wig. Oh good grief. He makes her go over to the piano and opens it up to find Maestro inside. So now David Flair some kind of criminal mastermind stalker. Of course he is.
Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
No DQ, no countout again. Goldberg does his entrance but stops to beat up Hall. Your US Champion ladies and gentlemen. Nash comes out and goes after Goldberg as Sid is locked in a room. That lasts all of ten seconds and it’s a four way brawl as the music keeps playing. They fight out into the arena and into the ring for the opening bell. Goldberg cleans house until Hall chairs the referee and Goldberg down. Sid comes back in but Hart sneaks in and steals the chair away to blast Nash. Goldberg gets back up and spears Nash, setting up the Jackhammer for the pin in 100 seconds.
Three street fights, three ref bumps, one broke three minutes. That’s the triple main event.
Roddy Piper keeps ranting about mud.
The Outsiders want Sid and Goldberg in a cage tonight.
Rhonda Singh vs. Elizabeth
Piper is refereeing. Singh comes out to stripper music but there’s no Liz. We go to the back where Liz says she doesn’t care about the lawsuits and walks away. Singh slaps Piper and pulls him into the mud, where he rides her like a horse and spanks her a bit. No Russo doesn’t have issues with women. Why do you ask? Creative Control gets muddy as well and Piper covers one of them for a pin.
The Mamalukes are cooking dinner in the girls’ apartment. This is what, the fifth time we’ve seen these guys tonight?
Arn Anderson is upset about being fired so here’s Hennig to offer him a spot on the team. Anderson just walks away.
Chae gets in a fight with Skye.
The Wall vs. Jerry Flynn
Boiler room brawl, called the Block and billed as a shoot. They fight, they kick, they punch, they choke, they ignore the fans booing, they can barely breathe, Berlyn comes in and hits Flynn with a pipe, Wall chases Berlyn off with the pipe and it’s another no contest. Heenan: “I don’t get it.” END THIS SHOW ALREADY.
Chavo is in the back when Piper comes up. Roddy talks about the wars he had with Chavo Sr. and tells Chavo to stand up for himself. The Outsiders come in and get in a fight with Piper.
Curly Bill asks Hennig for a job.
Russo yells at Luger, who promises to get Liz muddy before the end of the night. Creative Control is already cleaned up and wearing new suits.
Midnight vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig headlocks her down to start but Midnight nips up. A shoulder drops Hennig and stuns him at the same time. Hennig chops away in the corner and puts on an abdominal stretch, where he continuously slaps Midnight’s chest. So we can add sexual harassment to Russo’s time in charge. The lights go out and Stevie Ray returns to beat up Curt for the DQ.
The lights go out again and Curly Bill appears to beat on Stevie, but then the lights go out again so Arn Anderson can beat up Hennig. Even the Horsemen music can’t save this mess.
The girls tie the Mamalukes to the bed, allowing Disco Inferno and Lash Leroux to come in and pour spaghetti sauce on them. And that’s the big payoff for the night.
Luger brings Liz out and throws her in the mud, followed by pouring a bucket of mud over her. He takes off the jacket but Sting comes out and shoves him into the mud, ruining most of the suit. Liz appears to slip badly getting out of the pit.
The Mamalukes are still in bed. Thanks for coming back to that.
Goldberg/Sid Vicious vs. Outsiders vs. Chris Benoit/Bret Hart
In a cage with one fall to a finish and muddy Piper refereeing. It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with a lot of punching all over the ring. Both Outsiders get double teamed in the corner and the fans chant for Goldberg. Nash gets fired up again and punches Sid down in the corner but Tony talks about sauce (both kinds, because Russo felt the need to have three people covered in two types of sauce in one night).
Things slow down as the match is already three minutes old as even more punching abounds. Since a triple threat cage match with the Swamp Thing as referee isn’t enough, cue Jeff Jarrett with a cart full of weapons. Guitar shots all around of course and it’s time for the handcuffs with Hart being chained to the cage. Hall gets knocked out so Benoit, I’m guessing out of boredom, goes up and hits the Swan Dive on Hall for the pin.
Rating: D. I can’t say it fails after that dive but my goodness this was dull. It was a bunch of standing around and punching with Piper offering nothing interesting or important to the match. I’m really not even sure why these people are fighting, but it’s probably better to be confused than to ask.
Jarrett and the Outsiders beat up Benoit, Goldberg and Sid, seemingly not bothered by the loss.
Overall Rating: F. This is the stuff people talk about when Russo is discussed. We have gimmick matches, unfunny jokes, women being treated a hundred times worse than the Divas of today are treated, matches being made on the fly and stories that make no sense. Oh and a bunch of mud for some reason and titles being destroyed because there’s no point to having them around.
I lost count of how many gimmicks we had all night as well as the ref bumps, the guitar shots and the women being treated as either stupid or sex objects. That’s a good way to sum up Russo: there’s so much of the same kind of stuff going on that you can’t tell where anything is going. It’s definitely easier to sit through than one of the boring shows, but my goodness the quality goes through the floor. Horrible show here as Russo just burns through everything he has in record time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This time the focus is on NFL football with wrestling taking a bit of a backseat. This is a bit of a bonus episode and an introduction to my fellow featured guest Ty Burna (who has helped me keep this site operational in the past). Also in case you weren’t wild on them, this show cut down on the F Bombs, but they’re still there because that’s just how NorCal talks. Assuming there’s no complications on my end, I should be back on this weekend for an Extreme Rules preview show so keep an eye out for that.
Monday Night Raw – April 20, 2015: The Post European Blues
Monday Night Raw Date: April 20, 2015
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
We’re six days away from Extreme Rules and the card is all set. The main event will be Seth Rollins’ first title defense as he takes on Randy Orton in a cage match with the RKO banned for Orton. As for tonight, one of the major stories will be Kane’s continuing issues with the Authority, as the monster has been having issues with his bosses in the last few weeks. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Orton and Rollins earning the right to pick stipulations for the title match on last week’s show.
Here’s Randy Orton as a cage is lowered. He thinks Rollins screwed up with his choice because the RKO isn’t his greatest weapon. Orton’s best weapon is the ability to hurt people in any way that he possibly can. This Sunday, he’s going to break Rollins’ jaw so he can’t run his mouth anymore. Then he’s going to stomp Seth’s ribs until they break. After that, Rollins is going to be sent into the cage so many times that every bone in his body hurts. Then and only then will Orton leave the cage as the new WWE Champion.
Cue Rollins and the Stooges with what sounds like some new music. He talks about Orton having anger issues but Randy cuts him off and says that his issues are with Seth Rollins. Seth laughs it off and says he plays this game of human chess better than anyone because he can outmaneuver anyone inside that ring. He’s the best at everything here and just that much better than Orton. Seth tells him to get it out of his system and Orton thinks that’s a good idea. After this segment is over, he’s going to go backstage and RKO everyone he can find, including Rollins himself.
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
You would think they would save this for Sunday. Harper actually talks on the way to the ring, saying Ambrose will fear him after tonight. The brawl is on fast to start with Harper getting caught in a bulldog, only to superkick Dean down and hammer him in the back of the head. Dean takes him outside and sends Harper into the apron and announcers’ table, only to be tossed over the barricade and into the crowd. They keep fighting up the ramp and the match has been thrown out at somewhere around 2:00.
Harper loads up a powerbomb off the stage but Dean escapes and sends Harper running.
Orton and the Stooges are checking for Orton around every corner when the Prime Time Players sneak up and do the dog bark to scare them out of their wits in a funny bit. O’Neil and Noble have a quick exchange with Noble being called a Smurf before Rollins yells at a production guy. They run into HHH who says he’s been hearing from Kane as he’s been preparing for Tough Enough. Kane will be here later and Rollins requests some more security. HHH says Orton is just one guy and leaves.
Lucha Dragons vs. New Day
#1 contenders match. Kofi and Cara get things going with Woods on the floor as usual. Both guys tag before anything happens and grabs Kalisto, who tries every spin he can but eventually settles for a kick to the head. A headscissors works a bit better and it’s quickly off to Cara for a springboard forearm to the head for two. It’s quickly back to Kofi vs. Cara and they actually do something this time with Cara armdragging Kingston but getting sent to the floor for a baseball slide to take over.
Back to Big E. who runs Cara over as we take a break. We come back to see Kofi dropkicking Cara in the face before handing it off to Big E. for some clubbing shots to the face. Cara dives over Big E. and makes the tag to Kalisto to clean house, including the headscissor driver to Kofi for two. Kofi gets backdropped to the floor, setting up stereo moonsaults to take New Day down again. Everyone tries to get back in but Woods holds Cara’s foot to send New Day to Extreme Rules via countout at 9:34.
Rating: B-. This really got going at the end and Woods interfering was the right idea. It’s going to be interesting to see heel vs. heel on Sunday but the match should be entertaining. Good stuff here though and a good showcase for the Dragons, who only lose due to the interference and the numbers game.
Post match Orton comes in and RKOs Woods and Kingston (with a slight botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, so there goes his push again). Big E. runs away instead.
We recap Rusev attacking Cena to set up the Russian Chain match on Sunday.
Recap of Big Show attacking Reigns last week on Raw and his speech on Thursday to set up the Last Man Standing match on Sunday. Maybe their solution to the ratings issue is to have Big Show put everyone to sleep so they can’t change the channel.
Fandango vs. Curtis Axel
Speaking of don’t change the channel. Axel dances a bit to start but takes too long tearing off the shirt, allowing Fandango to roll him up for two. A Falcon Arrow plants Curtis and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:16.
Here’s HHH to talk about the return of Tough Enough. A year ago, the Authority was at a crossroads. They needed to find that one man to carry the company for the next ten years and they found that man in Seth Rollins. Now it’s time to find the next Seth Rollins. That search will begin right here on USA with the return of Tough Enough on June 23. Who hasn’t dreamed of walking down the ramp in front of 76,000 people with the WWE Championship hanging above your head? Right now is your chance to fulfill that dream and you can do that on Tough Enough.
HHH walks us through the application process but gets cut off by Kane. “You’re a little bit seasoned for Tough Enough.” Kane asks why HHH hasn’t responded to the voicemails, texts and emails but HHH says he’s just been letting Kane cool down. It’s been an honor to be Director of Operations, but Kane can’t deal with the disrespect of Seth Rollins so this is his official two weeks’ notice. HHH tries to talk him down but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt. Kane and Rollins start arguing again despite HHH telling them to cool it.
Kane shouts that Rollins is only champion because the Authority decided he was going to be. Would it have been different if they had recruited Dean Ambrose or El Torito? That’s finally enough for HHH (a big Torito fan I guess) who makes Kane guardian of the cage door on Sunday. Seth isn’t cool with this but HHH says the two of them need to get along. A tense handshake ends things.
We recap Paige winning the Divas battle royal but getting attacked by Naomi after the win.
Kane and Rollins are already arguing in the back but HHH comes up and says Kane has lost the hellfire and brimstone. Kane is going to prove him wrong tonight. Rollins smirks a bit but HHH rips him apart, saying the title doesn’t make him the man. Therefore, tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ziggler with Rollins getting to prove himself. Rollins likes the idea, despite almost cowering before HHH.
Naomi vs. Brie Bella
No dancing this week. Naomi’s inset interview talks about how many times she’s had to beat a Bella to get her shot but constantly being told to wait her turn. Nikki sits in on commentary and talks about still being champion as Naomi slides across the mat and kicks Brie in the face. Naomi nips out of a headscissors and Nikki says she’ll fight anyone anytime. Some kicks to the ribs sent Brie to the floor and the show to a break.
Back with Naomi holding a front facelock and slowly stomping Brie around the ring. We hit a chinlock before a double clothesline puts both girls down. Brie fights up and does a face comeback with a middle rope dropkick getting two. Naomi misses a high cross body but hits the Rear View for the pin at 10:01.
Rating: D. They’re turning the Bellas face aren’t they? After all the nonsense we’ve had to put up with from them over the last year and most of the roster wrestling circles around them, now we’re supposed to cheer for them for reasons that have yet to be explained and likely never will be explained. But they’re STARS so that’s what matters right?
Heath Slater tells Erick Rowan that he’s accepting the open challenge for the US Title tonight. Rowan walks away and Slater is RKOed through his salad. Orton even eats some lettuce.
Here’s Roman Reigns to address what happened last week. He wants to fight right now so get out here Big Show. Instead he gets Bo Dallas, who quotes Yoda from Star Wars Episode I, saying that hate leads to suffering. Reigns is suffering after losing at Wrestlemania and is kind of a bust. Despite being Captain Kevlar, Reigns is the Tim Tebow of the WWE: constantly getting chances and screwing up every time. The Superman Punch and spear destroy Dallas as you would expect. Reigns is going to take Big Show out on Sunday, and you can bo-lieve that. I forgot how much I liked Dallas.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Sheamus says ring the bell and kicks Ryder in the face at three seconds. He slowly turns him over and says that’s too easy. Ryder deserves more than a five second match so Sheamus slowly beats him up in the corner while talking trash on the mic about how the people in this crowd don’t belong in his ring.
That’s a good idea actually as he throws Ryder to the floor and keeps talking about how he’s the real superstar. There’s another Brogue Kick on the floor and Sheamus asks about the New York fighting spirit. He loads up another Brogue Kick but Ziggler runs in for a Zig Zag to send Sheamus running. It’s a DQ win for Sheamus at 3:14 despite the lack of a bell. No rating for obvious reasons.
There’s going to be another live Talk Is Jericho on April 30. The guest: Stephanie McMahon. Just in case you thought the Cena interview was WAY too company friendly.
Here’s Cena for the Open Challenge but first he needs to explain the rules of the Russian Chain match on Sunday. He’ll never give up you see. Rusev is trying to kill the fighting spirit of America but Cena is going to get back up every time he gets knocked down. This Sunday, he’s getting his hand raised and dropping the American flag to prove that Wrestlemania was a statement. As for tonight, someone can come get some but know it’s going to be against a Cena who is ready to fight.
US Title: John Cena vs. Kane
Kane throws Cena around to start and hits the VINTAGE side slam. He kicks Cena to the floor for a nine count and slowly stomps away back inside. Kane follows up the slow stomping with a slow uppercut for two and an elbow gets the same. Cena finally comes back with the ProtoBomb but as is his custom, Kane grabs him by the throat as Cena loads up the Shuffle. Chokeslam gets two but Cena counters the tombstone into the AA for the pin at 6:18. Rollins and the Stooges chuckle in the back.
Rating: D. I’ve seen sparklers with more fire than Kane was showing here. This was five and a half minutes of slow punching before they did the finishing sequence. It doesn’t help that Kane is one of the few people that can bring Cena down to a level that almost no one else can. Bad match here and hopefully the last time they use the open challenge for another story.
Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.
Post break Kane walks past HHH and snarls.
Miz says the only thing that matters is his new movie and the fact that he did it without a stunt double. Renee cuts him off and says we need to go to John Cena.
Cena was surprised by Kane answering the challenge but says the champ will be here on Sunday. Rusev jumps him with the chain and puts him in the Accolade with the chain around Cena’s face.
Miz vs. Damien Mizdow
The winner gets the Miz brand and Summer Rae is with Mizdow. Mizdow goes for the rollup early on but Miz gets away just in time. Cole talks about someone saying the Miz brand is useless. He doesn’t disagree with the statement of course and just keeps going with the commentary.
Miz gets two off a small package and stomps away in the corner to take over. Mizdow comes back with the Reality Check and a discus clothesline in the corner. The low DDT gets two on Miz but neither guy can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Summer rakes Mizdow’s eyes, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale from Miz for the pin at 2:47.
Miz loads up his catchphrase but eats an RKO. JBL: “He wouldn’t do that to Brad Pitt!” Booker: “He’d do it to Lorenzo Lamas!”
We run down the Extreme Rules card. Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett is subject to Bryan’s health. Also added is Ambrose vs. Harper in a street fight.
Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.
Adam Rose vs. Ryback
Rose gets in some shots before Ryback’s two move combination ends this at 1:30.
The hot dog and the banana attack Ryback post match so it’s a double Shell Shock. Ryback: “What did the banana say to the hot dog? Nothing because they just got Shell Shocked!”
Renee Young reads Kane some Tweets from Rollins and the Stooges about Kane being old. Kane goes into the Authority’s locker room and Seth actually says he’s sorry because that was supposed to be a private conversation. The Orton thing has him out of sorts so he’s going to dedicate the match with Ziggler to Kane. The camera follows Rollins and the Stooges out. Orton is watching them.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title. Rollins hammers away to start but Ziggler grabs his neckbreaker and drops the big elbow for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Ziggler quickly throws him back inside for a suplex. Rollins catapults him into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Rollins slamming Ziggler’s head onto the mat and stomping even more.
We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dolph comes back with the running DDT for two. Rollins gets the same off an enziguri but the Buckle Bomb is countered into a sunset flip. Ziggler hits a sweet superkick for two more but Sheamus comes out for a distraction, allowing Rollins to hit the Buckle Bomb and a snap front DDT (think Christian’s layout reverse DDT but with Dolph facing down) for the pin at 10:35.
Rating: B-. Sheamus interfering made sense but I REALLY hope that isn’t the replacement for the Curb Stomp (which has apparently been banned due to the danger of head injuries). Ziggler is a good opponent for someone like Rollins as a loss to the champ doesn’t hurt anyone and he can make Rollins look good in the process. Good match here but they never hit a higher gear.
Post match HHH comes out and cuts on Rollins’ bragging. Seth takes the mic away and keeps talking about how he’s going to take care of Orton this Sunday. As for Kane, HHH needs to stop……something but an angry Kane cuts him off. Rollins asks the cage to be lowered and of course Orton is inside. Seth tries to run but gets pulled off the top into an RKO to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show did its job of setting up Extreme Rules, but it doesn’t help that Extreme Rules isn’t the best looking show in the world. What is there on that show that I should be looking forward to? I’ll say this though: I thought the same thing going into Wrestlemania this year and was blown away so maybe they can nail it twice in a row. Tonight’s show wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t have much to keep me interested. Too many short matches or matches that build uninteresting angles. Hopefully Sunday is stronger, as this wasn’t the best show in the world, but the post Europe show rarely works.
Results
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper went to a no contest
New Day b. Lucha Dragons via countout
Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance
Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rear View
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered
John Cena b. Kane – Attitude Adjustment
Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Skull Crushing Finale
Ryback b. Adam Rose – Shell Shock
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Falling DDT
Wrestling Wars Podcast Episode #1
Is now online. Come here the Mighty Norcal and KB talk about the week in review and KB himself because I’m an interesting creature dare I say so myself. The show runs just over an hour and the audio is far better than I was expecting it to be with just two fans talking about wrestling.
The show does have some salty language so headphones may be advised.
Check it out, spread the word about it, let me know what you might like to hear and any criticisms/critiques/gratuitous praise you wish to heap on us.
Wrestling Wars Podcast Update
We had our first dry run tonight and went over the format etc. Everything went very well and he’s already set up a site for the show. Itunes is a work in progress at the moment but it looks like the show will be there in the near future. The debut episode will be recorded tomorrow night and hopefully put online within a day after that. We should have a schedule in place soon but I’ll keep you all posted on new episodes coming up. Remember that I won’t be on all the shows but I’m sure you’ll get to know the regular host and want to listen to what he’s got to say every week.
I’ll keep you guys up to date and hopefully the first show will be up by Tuesday at the latest, but hopefully before Raw goes on the air.
Monday Night Raw – March 17, 2003: We Must Defend HHH’s Legacy!!!
Monday Night Raw Date: March 17, 2003
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
With two shows to go before Wrestlemania, it’s really hard to care about what’s going on right now. Is it really any wonder why Smackdown was beating them at this point? Rock is trying as hard as he can on these shows but my goodness he needs ANYTHING else to help him carry things. Maybe that can be Shawn vs. Jericho but it would help if they actually did something. Let’s get to it.
We open, again, with Bischoff, who says that his match with Austin will be a handicap match. He makes it even bigger by saying the Raw superstars will be the lumberjacks. Thanks for clarifying that as I was thinking it might be, like, the 1984 Atlanta Hawks or the cast of Tremors: The Series.
Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane
Morley threatens the Dudleys with SEVERE consequences if they interfere here. The fans chant USA which tells me one of two things: they want Van Dam to win this on his own or they have no idea that Kane is from Spain. The monster slugs Morley down in the corner and drops him with a clothesline before tagging Van Dam in for the first time. Something like Rolling Thunder gets two on Morley but he drops Van Dam on the top rope to take over.
Rob’s attempts at speeding things up again are broken up by Lance grabbing his leg (clearly still mad at Rob’s post match promo at Barely Legal), allowing the Chief to get two off a good DDT. Morley shows some intelligence by going after the legs but Rob gets two off a rollup and brings Kane back in. Storm gets a tag as well and Kane beats him up as a greeting. The top rope clothesline plants Storm but Morley makes the save, only to get kicked in the face by Van Dam. Everything breaks down and Kane chokeslams Storm for the pin.
Rating: C. I’m so glad Vitamin C beat Kane and Van Dam last week. It makes so much more sense after this match you see. Kane and Van Dam are one of the hottest acts on the show and thankfully they’re getting a nice push as a result. I mean, I can’t picture them taking the titles off of whatever combination of Morley/Storm/Regal winds up with the belts but they’re hot at the moment and make for a good opening match.
Morley rolls away from a post match Five Star but the Dudleys come out…..and put Kane through a table. Well of course they do.
Post break the Dudleys say they hate what they just had to do but need to feed their families. Simple story but at least it makes sense and was an actual explanation for a change.
Here are HHH and Flair with something to say. The champ doesn’t like the idea of Booker thinking that he deserves a title shot so get out here right now and take this beating like a man. Instead he gets Goldust, which isn’t exactly what he had in mind. JR screams that he’s back despite being on the show last week. Goldust says that HHH’s performance may have been Oscar worthy, but deep down (“down there”) in the cock cock cockles of his heart, he must know that you can’t judge a book by its cornbread. This still isn’t funny if that wasn’t clear.
HHH and Flair crack up and HHH imitates the catchphrases with the stutter, so Goldust lays both guys out. That lasts as long as you would expect it to but Booker T. comes out to save us from the stupid angle and Goldust from a Pedigree. They do realize the WORLD TITLE match is in 13 days right? And this is the best they can do? Goldust saying unfunny lines after being electrocuted is supposed to set up a World Title match at the biggest show of the year? I’m starting to understand why this show is so hated.
HHH wants Goldust later tonight.
Rico vs. Maven
You can literally see them going to the concession stands as the bell rings. They trade headlocks to start and Maven shifts over into an armbar. Can you blame the sudden nacho runs? Oh wait let’s cut to Rock arriving, which is probably more interesting than what we’ve got going on here. Rico scores with some kicks, aided by a cheap shot from Jamal and Rosey. Maven comes back with kicks and a neckbreaker, followed by a bulldog for two. More 3MW interference sets up a neckbreaker but Maven counters into a backslide for the pin.
Rating: D-. Oh just…..yeah. This is another good example of having no idea what else to do with your two hours so they just throw two guys out there to kill the crowd. Maybe it would help if you had some stories to tell instead of HHH crushing everyone in sight and Rock having to do whatever he can to drag a bored Austin to one last match. Or maybe you could have a midcard title instead of having HHH be CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING.
Shawn and Austin had a discussion about Shawn being a lumberjack. This is news, despite Bischoff saying the entire roster would be at ringside. Austin, as expected, really doesn’t care.
Teddy Long tells Rock that Rodney Mack will take care of Hurricane next. Rodney Mack says the same thing, marking the biggest moment of his career: that time he was on camera with the Rock.
Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack
Mack gets rolled up for an early two and Hurricane elbows him in the jaw for good measure, only to have Teddy Long grab his foot to break it up. Rodney drops some elbows for two but Hurricane hits his usual, including the Shining Wizard. The high cross body and Blockbuster look to set up the chokeslam but Rock runs in for the DQ. This is where the booking goes out the window as there was no reason for Hurricane to not get a pin here. The DQ was just a waste, but at least Hurricane didn’t get pinned.
Rock beats him down post match with stomps and a chair. The idea is supposed to be that Rock is losing his cool over Austin, which they’re somehow doing without having Austin show up that often.
Jazz/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Steven Richards
Trish vs. Victoria vs. Jazz is set for Wrestlemania. Maybe this match can go on longer than 20 seconds. Before the match we get a creepy video of Victoria sounding like she wants to sleep with the title. Jazz and Victoria slap it out to start with the former getting the better of it but Victoria gets two off a powerslam. That’s fine with Jazz who gets the same result off the same move, but shockingly enough, NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. Off to Trish to wake the fans up a bit, including due to a Chick Kick for two.
A victory roll is quickly countered with a faceplant as Lawler says he’d always hook Trish’s leg. Steven tries to get involved and gets Victoria’s head shoved into his crotch. The Stratusphere takes Steven down but Victoria throws her around by the hair. Lawler freaks out over a shot of Trish’s chest but she avoids a slingshot legdrop. Richards crotches himself in the corner and Jazz short arms Trish on a tag attempt. A Sky High from Richards sets up the Widow’s Peak to give Victoria the pin.
Rating: D+. Was there really no one else they could put in this story other than Jazz? The fans like Victoria and Trish but my goodness they just died once Jazz came in. Oh and then she walked out on the match and fans still didn’t care. There are some wrestlers that fans just can’t get behind no matter what and Jazz is one of them.
Jeff Hardy runs out to save Trish and gets a kiss for his efforts.
Video on Shawn’s career at Wrestlemania, which is the biggest night of the year for him. This was around the time where he started being considered Mr. Wrestlemania.
Chris Jericho says he wanted to be Shawn Michaels but now he wants to end him.
Stacy tells Test that she’s found him a perfect tag partner and leaves. Test has Torrie Wilson’s Playboy and has to hide it from her. To recap, Test is dating Stacy Keibler and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him.
Test/Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Chris Jericho
Oh man it’s the start of THIS story. Test charges the ring to start and elbows Jericho in the face. Steiner gets in some shots on the floor but it’s quickly off to Christian, who eats a shoulder as well. We get the tag to Steiner, who somehow was in the World Title scene just a few weeks ago. The flexing elbow into push-ups gets two and it’s back to Test. Keeping Steiner out of the ring most of the time is a good thing for this match.
Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Christian to hit a spinwheel kick on Test. That advantage goes nowhere as it’s already back to Steiner for Rick Steiner’s powerslam/backdrop on Christian. Scared to death of the idea of having to deal with Scott Steiner, Christian grabs the referee and kicks Scott low before bringing Chris back in. That earns the king of the world a belly to belly (that’s one) and another tag brings in Test.
Jericho quickly escapes a powerbomb and everything breaks down. The evil Canadians are sent into each other and Test’s pumphandle slam plants Jericho but Christian makes the save. Belly to belly #2 sends Jericho flying but this time the powerbomb connects with Christian breaking up another save. Christian goes after Stacy and Steiner makes the save, only to have Test get distracted, allowing Jericho to grab a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but why is Jericho feuding with Test instead of Shawn Michaels, as in the guy he’s fighting at WRESTLEMANIA in two weeks? This was nothing special or even good for the most part with the majority of the match being spent on wasting time until we finally got to the point. As mentioned, Steiner has fallen a long way in just a few weeks and it’s not likely to get better anytime soon.
HHH vs. Goldust
Non-title of course. Booker and Flair are the seconds as WWE suddenly remembers that HHH and Booker are fighting soon. Feeling out process to start until Goldust hits him in the face for the first shot. More right hands from Goldust set up a right hand from HHH to take over as it’s pretty clear they’re not in the mood to try here. HHH sends the injured (from the electrocution) arm into the post a few times and we hit the armbar. Goldust starts fighting back but that’s too threatening to HHH’s legacy as a main event star so he plants Goldust with the spinebuster.
Something like a Boss Man Slam puts HHH down and Goldust gets two off a clothesline. Again HHH feels the power of insecurity and sends Goldust outside where Booker beats up Flair. The injured Randy Orton gets in a crutch shot from the crowd to knock Booker silly but Goldust hits the bulldog on HHH. The arm gives out before he can try Shattered Dreams and it’s jumping knee into the Pedigree to give HHH the soul redeeming pin.
Rating: D. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better now that HHH has overcome career midcarder Goldust and his neurological issues. It was getting pretty dicey there and you could see HHH’s entire Hall of Fame career melting away every second he was down from a clothesline. I mean……HE WAS HAVING TO SELL SOMETHING! Oh and get used to seeing Booker down and out like that, because you know that’s what’s coming at Wrestlemania.
Bischoff is warming up when Rock comes in with his guitar to sing about beating up Hurricane. Rock is thinking about having a Rock Concert right here in St. Louis but there are too many ugly women in this town. Next week in Sacramento sounds a bit better. What doesn’t sound better is having a lumberjack match, because all those guys around the ring make Bischoff look bad.
Instead, make it No DQ and Rock will be there to have Bischoff’s back. So why set up the lumberjack match in the first place??? Just set up the No DQ and go with that. It’s like changing Smackdown matches today: just get it right in the first place and you won’t have to keep pulling these bait and switches.
Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff
No DQ and Morley is with Bischoff. Eric wisely runs away to start so Austin beats up Morley as a warm-up. A right hand puts Bischoff down and the mudhole is stomped. He puts Eric in a Boston crab of all things but Morley offers a distraction for the break. That’s not enough for the Chief as he comes in for a low blow but Austin easily beats them both up. Cue Rock for a Stunner on Austin but Bischoff can only get two. Rock comes back in to stomp on Austin but misses the Elbow. A clothesline sends Rock to the floor and Morley and Bischoff both get Stunners for the pin.
Rating: F. Yeah whatever. What else do you want me to say here? The only note: this was Austin’s last match on Raw to date and likely ever. That’s how Austin, the greatest superstar of this era, goes out: beating up Bischoff and Val Venis in a nothing match to set up a match at Wrestlemania. It kind of makes you think that you never know when you’ll never see these guys in the ring again.
Austin gets a Rock Bottom and Rock sips at a beer to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. How in the world was this leading up to one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time? These shows lately have been horrible and it’s like they have no idea what they’re doing going forward. Shawn vs. Jericho is barely getting any build other than the superkick last week and HHH is squashing everyone he can find while Booker is lucky to win a tag match. Nothing to see on this show and it’s becoming very clear why this show is so loathed among fans.
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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – April 13, 2015
Maybe I can start getting these things done before the next show starts. We’re firmly into the Extreme Rules build now, and by firmly into I mean we’re almost to the show. Therefore we need some stipulations for the big matches but we’re taped, meaning it’s not likely to be the most thrilling show. Let’s get to it.
Cena opened things up with the Open Challenge for the US Title and beat Bad News Barrett in a decent enough match. These two have fought so many times over the years that it’s kind of hard to care anymore, but at least the Challenges are doing their job. I’d like to see someone from NXT debut through one and hopefully they continue after Extreme Rules. Speaking of after, Rusev came out and blasted Cena with a chain to set up a Russian Chain match for the PPV. It makes sense given Rusev being involved but these matches have a high rate of suck more often than not.
Paige won a Divas Battle Royal for the #1 contendership to give the fans something to cheer. Naomi then turned heel and beat her down so Paige can go off to make a movie. They REALLY need to stop building people up and then send them away for six weeks to make a movie that 87 people might see. Or maybe they should stop with the bad movies and just do what they did before: pick a movie that is going to be seen and slap their name on it.
On top of that, as I went on about on Smackdown, who does this leave as a face Diva? Emma? Fox is acting like a heel and turns every four days anyway, the Bellas, Cameron and Naomi are confirmed heels and Paige is leaving. Are they really hoping that a returning Layla is going to be a big deal? Natalya is supposed to be a heel but wrestles like a face because her psychology is all messed up, but she’s awesome. Right?
Bray Wyatt has a new target. Yeah whatever. Go win a big match already.
The Lucha Dragons beat up the Ascension because that’s what they do. They did it in NXT and they’re doing it on Raw. I still feel bad for Ascension but they were dead in the water months ago.
Roman Reigns came out and talked about going to Suplex City until Big Show came out to continue THE STUPIDEST FEUD IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. Show beat him up on the props but Roman kept getting up. Indeed, it’s for a last man standing match. Of all the things I’d love to grab Vince by the throat for and shout at him about, keeping Big Show in this spot is one of them. How can they possibly think that beating up Big Show over and over and over and over and over and over and I think you get the point by now, is going to help Reigns look like a big deal?
Orton beat Cesaro via DQ to earn the right to pick a stipulation, but then Kane came out to make sure the Tag Team Champions were hurt as much as they could and made Orton vs. both of them. As you would expect, Orton beat both of them in one match because he could. By this point, this show was starting to make my head hurt.
Rollins yelled at Kane and teased getting him fired by the Authority. So yes, the two stories that are being built up are the Divas battle royal from last week and what seems like another Kane face turn. BECAUSE THAT CREATES RATINGS BECAUSE KANE IS BIG! LIKE BIG SHOW!!! Rollins wants Kane to lay down later. One last thing though: Rollins emasculates Kane and it seems like he’s going to rise up because of it. Stephanie emasculates people and they get to stand there and take it.
Dean Ambrose beat Adam Rose to remind us that Dean Ambrose does in fact exist.
Big Show tried to talk Kane out of turning on the Authority. Bryan would do the opposite later, but Bryan brought up the Fingerpoke of Doom because we must make fun of WCW, despite a lot of the fans not even being alive for that moment. But hey, it makes Vince smile at his past accomplishments and that’s what we need to do.
Fandango beat Stardust in a filler match which set up Fandango turning face and dumping Rosa. I highly doubt this is the big career saver he’s needing.
Kane beat up Rollins and the Stooges before laying down for him. For the thousandth time, no one cares about Kane in this role.
Mizdow beat Miz in another short match to set up a big match later on, because that’s how WWE works.
The Prime Time Players kept making fun of other tag teams. I’ve gone into this in depth elsewhere, but this is the best thing that has ever happened to these guys.
Ryback beat Luke Harper in yet another short match because we need time for Kane segments.
Naomi explains that she’s tired of getting passed up for people like AJ. Thankfully it wasn’t another IT’S ALL ABOUT ME character but my goodness this division is dying for faces. It’s interesting that they keep mentioning AJ’s name.
Dolph Ziggler beat Neville in another entertaining match. This is the Mighty Mouse gimmick that everyone who didn’t think the thing through was terrified of.
Rollins and Orton announced that it’s going to be a cage match with the RKO banned. Ok then. Seriously that was my reaction. A brawl ended the show.
This show pretty much just came and went. There’s not much going on at the moment that makes me want to see the next show, but there’s a difference between being horrible and just being dull. They really need to get past the Wrestlemania rematches, but we’re likely getting ready for yet another round of these matches in May. Hopefully that means a strong start to the summer, but this was really nothing worth seeing. Neville is still a high spot though and could mean something big later on. Not much to see this week, except for the dozens and dozens of Kane and Big Show fans out there.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: