That’s quite the upgrade for them.  It’s also a good sign for WWE as NBC wants another show on a bigger network.  SyFy never fit for a wrestling show anyway.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 6, 2015
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s back to the regular style shows this week with Wrestlemania season wrapped up. The big story coming out of last week was Brock Lesnar’s suspension, meaning we’re not likely to see him again for a few months. In the meantime, we have Randy Orton challenging for the World Title at Extreme Rules, which is likely the focus of tonight’s show. We also find out who is answering this week’s open challenge for the US Title. Let’s get to it.

Saxton is in for Cole on commentary.

We look at some stills of HHH vs. Sting.

The Authority is in the ring minus HHH and Stephanie. Rollins is booed out of the building but Big Show says the champion is trying to talk. Seth says the Authority is on vacation tonight before bragging about the attendance record, the number of people watching and the number of times they trended worldwide. That last part sounded so stupid. HHH put the final nail in WCW’s coffin because the Authority always win. Big Show is officially the best giant of all time and Kane…..well Kane was there too!

Show says everyone on this roster is under his shadow but the important thing is Wrestlemania ended with a new, honorable champion. Rollins again fails at coming up with something Kane did at Wrestlemania but before Kane can give his answer, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt. Randy congratulates him on having his Wrestlemania moment. Of course it happened after a huge RKO took him out earlier in the night.

Rollins calls that complaining but Orton says he wants another shot, this time for the title. I’m pretty sure that match was already confirmed on Smackdown, or at least heavily implied. Orton asks Kane for the shot, and even asks if Kane needs to call mommy and daddy for permission. Kane demands respect and makes a three way match for the #1 contendership tonight between Orton, Reigns and Ryback. As usual, I had that typed before Kane even started because WWE is that predictable these days. However, Kane mixes things up a bit by saying all three of them have to compete in singles matches first.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Randy gets to the middle rope to start and drives in some forearms to the chest, only to get caught by an uppercut to knock him to the floor. Back from a break with Kane stomping away but getting caught in the elevated DDT. They head outside with Orton nailing a clothesline, only to take a chair to the ribs for the DQ at 6:58. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a way to get to the storyline ending.

Post match Kane tries a chokeslam on the chair but Orton counters into an RKO attempt, sending Kane running.

The announcers bring up AJ retiring and show a tweet of her boots.

Brad Maddox is in Kane’s office when Rollins comes in to yell at Kane. The priority is to protect Rollins, but for some reason Kane doesn’t get that. Kane takes credit for Rollins winning Money in the Bank, so Rollins says Kane is going to have to answer to the Authority. That’s fine with Kane, as he puts Rollins in a match tonight. For those of you counting, that would be five matches made during the show.

Cole is considering legal actions against Lesnar. JBL had to have emergency surgery for a torn abdomen wall and Booker wants Lesnar fired. Yay! Legal ramifications!

We look back at Lesnar’s path of rage last week.

The WWE Network is free for April. That’s the third free month out of six.

Seth Rollins vs. Neville

Non-title and Rollins is suddenly far less nervous. He grabs a mic and talks some trash to Neville, saying Neville must be terrified to be out here. Rollins has been there before too and offers the pipsqueak a chance to sit this one out. Neville kicks him in the ribs and we’re ready to go. A quick armdrag puts the champ down but he stomps Neville in the corner to take over. Neville does his front flip out of the corner and hurricanranas Seth to the floor, setting up a big flip dive. He slides back in to avoid the Stooges and we take a break. Back with Neville being sent face first into the middle buckle and Seth dropping knees to the face.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rollins picks him up for some knees to the ribs. Seth is toying with him as he drives some elbows into the head before putting on another chinlock. A running clothesline flips Neville inside out but he counters the buckle bomb with a hurricanrana. It’s Red Arrow time but Mercury offers a distraction so Noble can break it up. Instead it’s a quick rollup for two on Seth, who counters another hurricanrana into the buckle bomb. Curb Stomp ends Neville at 11:39.

Rating: C+. Let’s get this out of the way right now: Neville is not buried, isn’t being buried, and doesn’t even have any dirt on him. If you need an explanation for why, I’ve failed at teaching you anything. This was a good showcase for Neville but there was no other logical way this could end without interference. The fact that Neville is in this spot two weeks in is a great sign for the future.

Rollins gives him another Curb Stomp after the match.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. The city of Austin has declared this WWE Day so Cena is extra fired up. A lot of fans want him to come out and lose the title already, but this title is a symbol of opportunity. Someone can come out here and have a chance to put their name in the history books. Take Rusev for example. He wants his rematch for the title, but for some reason he wants to wait until Extreme Rules. Why not have the match tonight in Austin? Anyway, someone can come out here right now and step up to get stepped on.

US Title: John Cena vs. Stardust

Cena grabs a headlock to start and throws Stardust to the ropes, only to have him skin the cat. Back in and Cena drops some elbows as the announcers talk about Back to the Future for no logical reason. A delayed suplex gets two for the champ as Cena is mixing things up this week. The chinlock doesn’t last long as Stardust bails to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cena diving into a dropkick and Stardust hitting something like Diamond Dust for two.

What looks to be a springboard hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb to give Cena a near fall of his own. The AA doesn’t work so Stardust hooks an Alabama Slam for another two count. Cross Rhodes is countered as well and Cena plants him with a kind of sitout powerslam. The ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Stardust kicks him in the head and gets another close cover off a DDT.

A moonsault press gets the same and Cena is in some trouble. It’s not enough trouble though as he trips Stardust into the STF. Stardust is close to the ropes though and hits a quick Cross Rhodes for two. That’s enough for Cena as he hits the springboard Stunner and the AA retains the title at 13:10.

Rating: C+. This is exactly what the open challenge should be doing: giving someone you don’t usually see in a spot like this getting a chance to showcase themselves. Good match here with Stardust getting to show off a bit but ultimately coming up short. What I liked best about this match though: it was fresh. I’ll take a match with an obvious ending over a match we’ve seen 19 times before almost every time.

Naomi/Paige vs. Bella Twins

The Bella Twins’ name graphic now lists them both as Divas Champion. I know it’s not intentional but it’s probably more accurate than they intended. Brie takes Paige into the ropes to start and sends her to the floor for a hard shot from Nikki. The BRIE MODE knee gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Off to Nikki for a bodyscissors for a bit before Nikki misses a charge in the corner, allowing the hot tag to Naomi. She botches a spinning headscissors before kicking Nikki in the face before slipping on a landing out of the corner. The Rear View gets two with Brie making the save, only to have Paige kick Nikki down. The headscissors driver gets zero reaction but it’s enough to pin Nikki at 5:00.

Rating: D-. Sweet Christmas the Bellas are dull in the ring. They’re just not interesting no matter how you look at them and there’s nothing in the ring that makes me want to watch them. It didn’t help that Naomi was botching almost everything she was doing here and looked more like Cameron than anyone else. Horrible match that gave me flashbacks to the dark days of the division.

The announcers talk about Miz vs. Mizdow but we go to the Prime Time Players ripping on New Day with the same insults from Smackdown. They switch over to making fun of Ascension with some home made spiked shoulder pads that keep breaking. Ascension can’t read either and they hit the Millions of Dollars dance. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks.

Luke Harper vs. Ryback

Harper nails a quick dropkick to start and a big boot sends Ryback to the floor. After teasing loading up the announcers’ table, Harper takes him back inside for a Boss Man Slam and something like a crossface. Ryback gets the rope, avoids a charge to send Harper into the post and hits Shell Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 2:48. That was his only significant move of the match.

The New Day is hurt and disappointed by the crowd thinking they suck, but they won’t find disappointment in their dancing. They clap or they snap. Big E. says he was eating at the airport yesterday when a kid came up and asked him (with Big E. doing a kid’s voice) to sign a breakfast menu for his brother. Of course he could, because he claps. It really doesn’t make more sense in context.

New Day vs. Lucha Dragons

Kofi is on the floor this time but his slapping of the apron makes the fans chant NEW DAYS SUCKS in time. Big E. runs Cara over to start and both he and Woods take turns stomping away in the corner. Cesaro/Kidd/Natalya are watching in the back as Woods gives up the hot tag to Kalisto. Things speed way up with Kalisto snapping off the hurricanrana but Big E. makes the save. Cara low bridges Big E. to the floor but Kofi gets in a cheap shot from the floor to give Woods two on Kalisto. Woods like the cheating but the Dragons make a blind tag, allowing the Salida Del Sol to set up the Swanton from Cara to pin Woods at 2:59.

Big Show vs. Roman Reigns

Because, uh, reasons! They slug it out to start with Show taking him into the corner for some chops. Show throws him across the ring by the vest and stands on his back on the ropes. They head outside with Show slowly plodding around and throwing Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes back with a running apron kick but Show spears him down as we take a break. Back with Big Show still dominating because, uh, reasons!

Show charges into a boot in the corner and gets staggered by some clotheslines, only to catch Reigns in a side slam. The bouncing Vader Bomb gets two more and Show baseball slides him into the barricade. Reigns comes up to the apron and hammers away before Stunning Show over the apron. The Superman Punch from the floor sets up another in the ring. The third sets up the spear for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. I did not like this match. I am ceasing this rating description for reasons as an exercise in anger management due to a desire to not die at the age of 43, which is also Big Show’s current age, which is usually when wrestlers retire but he’s still out there getting to dominate people and for some reason WWE doesn’t get that we don’t care.

Kane is on the phone when a bunch of Divas come in to hit on him. They bring up the “Give Divas A Chance movement” (Alicia’s finger quotes, not mine) and ask for a #1 contenders battle royal. Kane makes the match for next week to get rid of them.

Reigns says watch what he does next.

Here’s Sheamus to say he looks like a real man. The fans tell him that he looks stupid but he says the grown up is talking now. He’s a warrior who belongs here, unlike the go getters who just won’t go away. People like Dolph Ziggler are insects who need to be crushed. Sheamus is told to pick on people his size, but there aren’t too many his size. Cue his opponent.

Sheamus vs. Mark Henry

Henry is the hometown boy. Sheamus goes to leave but gets pulled back into the ring to start the fight. The bell rings and Henry blocks a kick with a right hand to the face. A top wristlock goes badly for Sheamus as he’s shoved to the floor. Back up and Sheamus can’t finish the ten forearms as Henry elbows him in the face, only to have Sheamus nail some knee lifts on the apron. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick for the pin at 2:33. Booker calls Sheamus a viking for no apparent reason.

We look at the big talking segment from Wrestlemania.

Bray Wyatt shows up on screen and says someone’s entire life revolves around dedication. However dedicated you are, you can’t compete with the forces of nature. You can’t compete against fear either, for it is not your drive for success that motivates you. What motivates you is fear and it holds the key to your undoing. Does he have your attention now? Behold the new face of fear.

Ryback is hungry for the WWE World Title.

Damien Mizdow vs. Miz

We get a battle of sunglasses removal to start but Mizdow knocks him to the floor before taking his off. Back in and Mizdow chokes him in the corner but eats a big boot to the face. Mizdow shoves him to the corner but doesn’t seem that comfortable on offense. A snap suplex and knee drop keep Miz in trouble. Mizdow scores with an electric chair and headbutt, followed by the Reality Check for no cover. Miz tries a low blow but gets taken down and punched in the face. A quick rollup with a handful of trunks is enough to pin Mizdow at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This show is going WAY too long and it’s starting to drag horribly. It’s pretty clear that this match was designed to set up a gimmick rematch, maybe for the rights to the name and the music, at Extreme Rules. Nothing much to see here though, other than Mizdow looking awkward on offense at times.

Orton has nothing against his opponents but he’s winning tonight.

Ryback vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Winner gets the title shot at Extreme Rules. Ryback tries to Shell Shock Reigns seconds in but gets taken down by Orton’s backbreaker for two. A clothesline gets the same on Reigns but Ryback throws Orton to the floor. Cue the Authority on the stage, where they can see Ryback powerslam Reigns. Roman breaks up the elevated DDT on Ryback before clotheslining him in the corner. There’s a Superman Punch to Orton but Ryback plants Reigns with a spinebuster.

The Meat Hook puts Reigns down again but Ryback has to stop Orton with a spinebuster as well. Reigns breaks up Shell Shock on Orton with a spear and all three are down. Now the Authority starts coming to the ring but Reigns dives on all of them. Show KO Punches him though, only to have Rollins go after Orton. Cue the Stooges to go after Orton but Ryback beats them up. The RKO on Ryback sends Orton to Extreme Rules at 5:18.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t bad while it lasted. I’m getting back into Ryback but there was almost no way Orton didn’t win here. Unfortunately it really seems that they’re setting up Reigns vs. Big Show again, despite the interest just not being there. That never stopped them before though.

Rollins hits a Curb Stomp before we can hear what the voices do in Orton’s head.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was more good than bad but it really started dragging at about 10:30. At the end of the day, three hours is just too long for a single wrestling show every week. It doesn’t help that a lot of the talent was working twice tonight and we had more than one Divas segments. The stuff with the new guys or the new characters was good, but they really need to get away from Big Show and the Bellas. Those three are just crippling whatever scenes they’re in and the fans aren’t going to lighten up on them anytime soon. Watchable show this week but it needed to be half an hour shorter.

Results

Randy Orton b. Kane via DQ when Kane used a chair

Seth Rollins b. Neville – Curb Stomp

John Cena b. Stardust – Attitude Adjustment

Naomi/Paige b. Bella Twins – Headscissors driver to Nikki

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Lucha Dragons b. New Day – Swanton Bomb to Woods

Roman Reigns b. Big Show – Spear

Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick

Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Randy Orton b. Ryback and Roman Reigns – RKO to Ryback

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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I really don’t think this show needs an in depth preview. It’s the Raw after Wrestlemania and the expectations are all through the roof for tonight. We’re going to see debuts, big storyline development and fallout from Wrestlemania. This is my favorite show of the year and it has a lot to live up to after last year’s edition. Let’s get to it.

We open with the only real option we had: Lesnar and Heyman, with one wanting blood and the other likely wanting to find catering. They bragged about the big title match last night and how Lesnar did exactly what he said he would but then Seth Rollins had to interfere and steal Brock’s title. Heyman threatened litigation, but Brock would rather have his rematch tonight instead. This brings out Stephanie, who actually sells the arm injury from Rousey last night, and says Rollins is on his way here and will fight when he arrives. This was basically HHH wanting a match with Bryan last year but not as memorable.

Daniel Bryan beat Dolph Ziggler to retain the Intercontinental Title with the running knee in a match the live crowd thought was FAR more entertaining than it really was. Yeah it was entertaining, but they gave the guys a standing ovation near the end. That was way more than they deserved, especially in a match that didn’t last twelve minutes. Post match Barrett came in but Sheamus returned for the save, only to turn heel and lay out Bryan and Barrett.

One of the things discussed most since last week has been Sheamus’ new mohawk haircut and braided beard. I get the idea of wanting to change things up for someone who has become as dull as Sheamus (love the in ring work, bored by the character but I still really like him overall), but dear goodness man. You can’t expect to have anyone hate this guy if they’re too busy laughing at him for his stupid haircut. I can’t imagine that lasts until even Extreme Rules, but it didn’t exactly have the intended effect. At least I hope it didn’t.

The first callup of the night was the Lucha Dragons, who stole the eight man tag also involving the New Day, Cesaro/Kidd and Ascension. Kalisto was all over the place and is definitely being tooled as the new Rey Mysterio. I dig the guy and there’s nothing wrong with having a small guy that flies all over the place and does a bunch of cool flips. Ascension is dead in the water and New Day is getting ready to go for an ill fated swim.

Now we get to the big story of the night as Brock Lesnar came out for his match with Rollins, but Seth said he was too jetlagged to fight. Brock didn’t quite care for that and beat up the Stooges and Cole, the latter of whom had a bad neck (of course he’ll be back on Raw this week because we NEED Michael Cole). He also turned over the announcers’ table, which for some reason wasn’t turned back over all night, even once Byron Saxton and Jerry Lawler came out to replace the announcers.

The big thing here though was Brock screen refreshing a cameraman and being suspended by Stephanie, whose arm is totally fine now because of course it is. This was a way to get Brock off TV for the summer, which is fine, especially considering how big of a face pop he’s going to get when he finally returns. Post break, Stephanie went into full screech mode to say Brock will be her censored, which is EXACTLY what this segment needed: Stephanie looking strong and Brock not being able to retaliate. I was getting scared there for a minute.

Damien Mizdow beat Stardust in a quick match which only existed so Miz could come out and attack Mizdow to continue their feud.

Not Adrian Neville had his big debut and beat Curtis Axel in less than eighty seconds. This was all it needed to be and Neville looks like a great high flier. Put the Adrian back though as just Neville is kind of an odd name.

Now we get to one of my favorite parts of the night: the first weekly John Cena Open Challenge for the US Title. This could open up a lot of doors with Cena possibly putting over one guy after another week after week. Now for those of you who don’t get the meaning of wrestling terms, putting someone over doesn’t mean losing to them. The best example for Cena is Damien Sandow last year. Yeah Sandow lost the match, but he never looked like a bigger deal in his career. Being paired with Cena is like being paired with Undertaker at Wrestlemania: you’re automatically a bigger deal because you get to rub elbows with him.

This week’s challenger was Dean Ambrose, who had a really good match against Cena but came up short, eventually getting caught in the AA. This was one of the longer match of the night and while it took some time to get going, once they hit the third gear with the finishing moves, I was totally into the match and bought the Dirty Deeds as a near finisher for Ambrose. Dean teased a heel turn post match but it didn’t come. I could easily see a rematch and wouldn’t complain about watching it. Good stuff here and I’m really looking forward to seeing who challenges Cena in the future. Some NXT people would be very nice choices.

Rollins bragged, Orton stared, Big Show and Kane continued to exist for reasons I don’t quite get. Well at least not this level. A six man is teased for later with Orton having to get some partners. We knew Reigns, but the question was who else.

AJ/Paige/Naomi beat the Bella Twins/Natalya in a match I already forgot about when I did the Reviewing the Review for Wrestlemania XXXI as I thought AJ’s last match was at the big show. This match is noteworthy for two things: Naomi hitting the Rear View to pin Nikki and a bunch of fans chanting some very derogatory things at the Bellas and Naomi.

Here’s the thing: yeah those chants are unnecessary and insulting, but I wouldn’t worry about them yet. You can’t base anything long term off the post Wrestlemania crowd as they exist to get themselves over. It doesn’t help that the Bellas are treated as nothing but idiotic, money obsessed sex objects on Total Divas. WWE keeps telling us to watch the show and the fans see the Divas presented that way. No they shouldn’t insult the Divas on national TV, but those ideas wouldn’t be in the fans’ heads if we didn’t head the Bellas bragging about it all the time. If this keeps going it’s a problem but I wouldn’t worry at the moment.

Ryback offers to be Orton’s partner, cementing the main event in stone.

Rusev squashed Goldust without Lana. This was just to get him back on track.

In one of the worst choices for a main event they could have picked, Reigns/Orton/Ryback beat Big Show/Kane/Rollins when Reigns speared Kane. Having Reigns out there was fine, but who in the world thought putting Big Show and Kane in front of that crowd was a good idea? I mean……WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? With this crowd and just a year after the Shield turned face to end the show last time, they go with a six man that could have main evented any given Raw or even Smackdown? That’s their big idea?

The show was a step down from last year but that’s really not a fair comparison to make. You can’t have a top level show every single year, especially when there’s no Bryan title celebration to carry the show. Reigns is going to be fine long term but he needs to do something to get back on track. Beating up Kane and Big Show even more isn’t that thing, but it seems like that’s where we’re going for the moment.

I like where things are going at the moment, but they’re running the risk of getting repetitive with the main event matches. Orton vs. Rollins makes sense for Extreme Rules, but I’m really not sure where they can go for Rollins’ next challenger. Reigns is going to be in there soon, but after those two I don’t know where they’re going.

There’s more on here to like than not like, with stuff like Sheamus returning as a heel and Cena’s upcoming open challenges are good things to see. They could build a lot off that and I’d love to see another NXT callup or two. Finally, Lesnar returning to eventually take down the Authority is going to blow the roof off the place. I can’t wait to see where they go to challenge him, but it’s going to be entertaining. Fun show this week but I’m hoping the crash back down to earth isn’t a disaster.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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They don’t happen often, but they’re some of the most exciting things in wrestling.

I’m talking about the surprise challenger. This usually happens when all hope is lost and you’re left wondering who can save us now. I’m sure there are more of them, but here are four of the best I’ve ever seen and moments that I still smile at no matter how many times I watch them.

We’ll start at Uncensored 1997. After winning one of the most unique matches of all time (a three way, twelve man battle royal/elimination match), the NWO stood tall again. Hogan and company had cleaned house and there was no one left to fight for WCW. The show was about to go off the air, and then this happened (it’s after the match is over but check out the whole thing if you have time).

Notice the crowd just coming unglued as Sting shows which side he’s on. He was the hero WCW had been waiting for and the one man that could stop the NWO. The other thing to notice: Heenan’s last line. The show is going off the air and Sting is standing tall, but Heenan gets in one more thing: “HE CAN BEAT HOGAN! HE CAN BEAT HOGAN!” For the first time in a long time, there was hope.

Speaking of hope, in 2001, there wasn’t much for the WWF. With Vince McMahon in their corner, the Two Man Power Trip of Steve Austin and HHH had both major singles titles and had just gotten done destroying the Hardy Boyz. Lita was all alone, and we needed some saviors. This includes the end of the match where HHH won the Intercontinental Title back from Jeff Hardy.

Austin and HHH’s heads snapping back when the fire went off is good stuff. The match sucked but this was the challenge they needed.

In September 2012, John Cena hurt his shoulder (or something related to his arm) and was in jeopardy of not making it into the Hell in a Cell main event against CM Punk. Punk was also feuding with Mick Foley (kind of) at the time. Here’s the promo with Punk ripping into the injured Cena and going backstage, where he ran into someone. Yeah this is a stretch, but I still really love the character.

Yeah I liked it.

Now we get to the moment that changed an entire promotion. On January 2, 2013, NXT Champion Seth Rollins successfully defended his title against Corey Graves. This led to the locker room coming out to try and fight off the Shield, but the three men beat up about fifteen guys with ease. With nothing left, NXT Commissioner Dusty Rhodes looked defeated. I said out loud “in a good wrestling promotion, the unstoppable monster would come out for a big showdown with these guys.” Then this happened (best video I could find).

That’s when I knew NXT was something special, and it hasn’t let me down yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This would be…..different.I think you can see the major issue here: without a small army helping her, Stephanie would be lucky to last ten seconds in there from bell to bell.  I know that sounds like a cliche, but the top competition the UFC can get for Rousey barely makes it fifteen seconds.

Now I know this is wrestling and Stephanie would cheat like there was no tomorrow and would probably have Rousey next to dead before she went after her, but this is pushing the boundaries of reality a bit too far for me.  Stephanie can work a good match for a Diva, but if they’re really going to try and sell this as Rousey is out of her element, they’re in for a long night.  Fans aren’t going to buy Stephanie as any sort of a favorite in a match http://onhealthy.net/product-category/womens-health/ where you can win by submission and have the match on a flat surface, and we know Rousey can strike as well.  I’d be against the idea, but there’s a slight chance it could be done right.

By right, I of course mean Rousey snapping Stephanie’s arm in about 19 different places and Stephanie taking a long hiatus from TV, not showing up the next night and yelling.  Or holding her arm to her side one segment and waving it over her head the next time she’s on screen.  That would just be dumb.  Like, as dumb as emasculating Sting and raving about how she and Andre the Giant were friends and how it would disrespect Andre’s legacy to have one of the biggest stars of all time in a match dedicated to Andre’s memory.  We’re talking that level of dumb.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 24, 2003
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Canada
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I really do need to stop waiting a year and a half between these sets of shows. It’s the night after No Way Out 2003 and thank goodness that means Scott Steiner is out of the main event scene. Unfortunately it means we’re further into the era of HHH’s World Title run and the start of the Wrestlemania XIX build. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. I miss Across the Nation.

Here’s a banged up Eric Bischoff, fresh off getting beaten up by the returning Steve Austin, to open things up. Bischoff says he’s here despite what Austin tried to do to him last night and Austin is banned from the building tonight. JR: “THE AUDACITY!” That’s not really audacity JR. Tonight’s main event is a 20 man battle royal with the winner going on to Wrestlemania for the World Title shot at Wrestlemania. So it’s the TV version of the Royal Rumble? Next week, Austin gets to meet Bischoff’s own personal welcoming committee.

As for tonight though, it’s all about the biggest star in the history of this industry, and here’s Hollywood Rock. Yeah he’s a Smackdown guy at the moment, but I can’t stop looking at his massive Brahma Bull belt buckle. I mean…..dang man. Rock is so awesome in this role as he can turn on the evil jerk persona at the drop of a hat. After nearly four minutes of an entrance and glaring at the crowd, we hit FINALLY but he can’t finish saying Toronto, because he’s FINALLY back Toron-his mouth on all of us.

He cuts the fans off for chanting Rocky too early before talking about whipping Hogan last night, earning him a free pass to come here tonight from Vince. Rock finally says Toronto and goes into a hilarious imitation of fans being SO happy that he said the town they live in. It was here in Toronto that the people turned on their champion last year at Wrestlemania like a bunch of mother-Canuckers.

The fans chant for Hogan but Rock points out that he’s not here tonight. Of course it doesn’t matter what these people think, because they didn’t vote for him as Superstar of the Decade at the Raw Tenth Anniversary (easily one of the stupidest shows I’ve ever seen). That award went to Steve Austin, because everyone loves Stone Cold. Everyone that is, except the Rock. There’s only one true star of the decade and guess who that is. That’s Wrestlemania people. He’s as strong as a buck and the biggest thing to hit Toronto because the MAPLE LEAFS SUCK.

The fans aren’t pleased with that one and tell Rock that he sold out so he says he’s going to clean house in the battle royal tonight and go to Wrestlemania, if you smell…..whoa whoa whoa time out. “You were the very first to boo the Rock so you lose that sing-a-long privilege!” Someone in WWE put this on a loop for today’s heels, because this is one of the most perfect heel promos I’ve ever seen. Rock made this crowd do every single thing he wanted and made them hate one of the most popular guys on the roster at this point. Outstanding stuff here.

Jackie vs. Jazz

Victoria and Steven Richards are on commentary. Jazz goes right after her to start and holds Jackie up for a slam. I can’t believe I’m saying this but I’m for Jazz in a match. They head outside with Jackie scoring with a chop to Jazz’s chest tattoo. Now it’s time for JACKIE TO SHOUT A LOT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT SHE THINKS PERSONALITY IS. Thankfully Jazz takes her head off with a clothesline and gets two off a legdrop. Jazz drops her when trying a sitout powerbomb so Jackie comes back with forearms, only to get caught in a half crab into the STF for the submission. Now stay out of here Jackie.

Victoria looks nervous about giving Jazz a title shot. Jazz grabs the mic and says she’s back but Trish makes her return for the big showdown. She hammers on Jazz as Victoria comes in, only to eat a Chick Kick. Jazz and Trish get into it again and Jerry is thrilled because clothes could come off.

That right there is the mentality that has caused the 2015 Give Divas A Chance idea to be dead on arrival. That’s the idea that we heard for so many years and it’s what the Divas are thought of as a result. Yeah it’s a lot tamer today, but it’s still what they were known for all those years. Also of note here, JR says this is the same building where Jazz legitimately injured Trish’s leg. That’s not a word you hear that often in WWE.

Marketing director Stacy Keibler has Test involved with Girls Gone Wild. My goodness this is such a different time. Test gets to pick the finalists for Ms. Girls Gone Wild. We see a party in a club with Test dancing with the girls and telling them to go wild.

Test and Maven (what a pair) are watching the video in the back with Test saying it was a great appearance after all the stupid ideas Stacy had for her. Stacy comes in and doesn’t like what she sees on the tape. Chief of Staff Morely comes in and makes Stacy/Test vs. Christian/Jericho for Test and Stacy laughing at Bischoff’s beating last night.

We look back at Evolution electrocuting Goldust a few weeks back.

Goldust says he lived through the electrocution and is going to be back soon. Oh and he has Tourette’s Syndrome now but doesn’t notice. This isn’t funny and destroys whatever sympathy they had building up. But hey, Kevin Dunn is laughing right?

Kane vs. Lance Storm

Kane has Rob Van Dam in his corner, despite having some issues with him last night. Storm’s big dramatic entrance is still cool to see, especially for how basic he looks. Kane kicks him down to start but misses an elbow, allowing Storm to actually pound Kane in the back to take over. A missile dropkick gets two but Kane sits up and plants Storm with a good looking chokeslam for the pin.

Randy Orton’s shoulder is now 99% and he’s ready to go tonight!

Scott Steiner/Booker T. vs. Randy Orton/Batista

JR: “Scott Steiner, ready for some tag team wrestling.” Sign of the times: he would probably be publicly reprimanded for that line today. Booker and Orton get things going, with the latter looking almost unrecognizable with hair and limited (by his standards at least) tattoos. Booker drops him to start and scores with a running forearm but gets caught in the spinebuster as Steiner chases Flair around the ring. Batista’s running clothesline staggers Booker in the corner and Evolution takes over again.

Some right hands stagger Orton and the 110^th Street Slam plants Randy but a Flair distraction breaks up the hot tag. This isn’t exactly setting the world on fire. Off to Batista for a bearhug before it’s back to Orton for a chinlock. A quick ax kick drops Orton and keeps the fans as dead as they’ve been in years.

Since it worked so well before, Flair’s distraction breaks up a hot tag attempt. Scott comes in anyway with some clotheslines as the fans boo him out of the building. Naturally Steiner hits a belly to belly suplex to tick them off even worse because he’s just kind of a jerk. Flair gets put in the Recliner but Batista makes the save. Everything breaks down and Booker rolls through an Orton cross body for the pin.

Rating: D. In the span of 24 hours, Steiner has gone from a pay per view World Title match to not even getting tagged into a first hour midcard tag match. Booker was the right choice out there as the fans hated Steiner even though he was beating up the top heel stable in the company. The dude was a disaster in WWE and it was only going to get worse for him.

We look at Rock being better than any other heel in years to open the show.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Stacy Keibler/Test

Stacy gets one of the pops of the night for a tied off Maple Leafs shirt and some very nice shorts. Test charges at Jericho to start but Christian cuts him off. A tilt-a-whirl slam plants Christian but Jericho goes after Stacy for another distraction to keep being totally evil. Test loads up a gorilla press but Jericho brings in a chair to take him down for the DQ in a hurry.

Test gets handcuffed to the ropes as the Canadians (well the other Canadians) bring Stacy inside with Jericho putting her in the Walls. Cue Jeff Hardy for the save but Christian plants him with an Unprettier. Instead Shawn Michaels runs in for the real save.

Post break Jeff is still down (how nice of Shawn and Test to check on him) when Christopher Nowitski comes out to laugh at him. After finding a microphone that works, he calls Jeff a failure, only to get caught in a reverse Twist of Fate and a Swanton. The bell rings as Jeff goes up and the pin takes about nine seconds, or not enough time for me to bother calling it a match. Jeff hammers on him post match, meaning it’s a reversed decision. They really did that for a nine second match? Dang it really is 2003.

Kane and RVD are getting ready for the battle royal with the masked man ranting about Rock. Rob thinks he’ll win though.

Rock is on the phone in his dressing room and talks some trash about Austin. He busts out the guitar for some practice and sings about how much he hates Canada. This brings in Hurricane, who wants to know whatupwithdat about Rock trashing the people. Rock has no idea who Hurricane is but thinks he might be the Hamburgular. He’s not impressed with Hurricane though because Rock can beat every superhero.

Hurricane knows one he could beat though: the Scorpion King. “Brendan Fraser beat him!” Rock: “THAT WAS A SPECIAL EFFECT!” Rock says he can fly, which Hurricane says is a good thing because tonight he’s flying over the top rope. After the great promo, this would be the start of Rock making Hurricane a bigger deal than he ever was in his entire career.

Jerry Lawler vs. Chief Morely

No DQ. This is a result of last week where Lawler tried to save Jim Ross from a beating. Morely hammers him into the corner to start but Jerry scores with a running clothesline and a backdrop. That’s a bit too extreme for him though as Lawler hammers away with right hands, sending Morely out to the floor. Lawler whips him into the steps but gets reversed into the post for his efforts.

Back in and Morely hits Three Amigos (Eddie stole one of his signature spots from VAL VENIS?) for two and a spinebuster puts the King down again. The Money Shot connects but Morely doesn’t cover. Instead he tries to bring in a chair, only to have the Dudleys come in for a 3D, setting up Lawler’s fist drop for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just an angle but I’m getting tired of the announcers in the ring. Lawler wrestling doesn’t work so well outside of Memphis as he’s just a veteran who wrestles once in a while. Morely continues to be one of the more underrated guys in the ring as he looks perfectly smooth out there and never gets the recognition.

Ross and Lawler talk about Austin being here next week.

Flair gives Orton and Batista their marching orders for the battle royal.

Battle Royal

Booker T., The Rock, Randy Orton, Batista, Chris Jericho, Jamal, Rosey, Rob Van Dam, Test, Hurricane, Rodney Mack, Stevie Richards, Al Snow, Christian, Jeff Hardy, Kane, Lance Storm, Maven, Scott Steiner, Tommy Dreamer

Winner goes to Wrestlemania to face HHH. Sweet goodness the entrance music was better back in the day. Half the people go after Rock to start as Jericho dumps Test. That guy is just such a loser that the face pushes never worked. Jericho eliminates himself to run from Test though, like any good heel should. Van Dam kicks Jamal out as there’s actually a referee in there for some reason.

JR ignores the Corporate Rumble and says there hasn’t been a battle royal on Raw since 1995. The eliminations slow down until Dreamer is eliminated like the schnook that he is. Rock eliminates Maven with a clothesline and Kane nails RVD to no reaction from the announcers. Next up is Steiner tossing Richards and things slow down again. Evolution gets rid of Rob for a pretty early elimination before Batista saves Hurricane for no adequately explained reason.

Snow is out and so is Rodney Mack as we get Rock vs. Hurricane. They trade right hands until Rock kicks him low and dumps him. Booker and Rock go through the ropes to fight on the floor as we ignore everyone else. We’re down to Booker T., Rock, Orton, Batista, Rosey, Christian, Hardy, Kane, Storm and Steiner. Rock starts walking up the ramp and goes to do some commentary. Lawler: “He has to be better than Coach!” Orton dumps Hardy but Steiner tosses Randy, only to get eliminated by Batista.

Booker gets rid of Batista a second later and we’re down to five in the ring and Rock on commentary. Rosey and Storm double team Kane but the masked guy avoids a charge and clotheslines Rosey out. Storm is out a few seconds later as Rock demands a cameraman watch him drink water. Rock goes back to the ring as Kane chokeslams Booker and kicks Christian in the face. Christian tries a sleeper on Kane but Rock dumps them both to get us down to Rock vs. Booker T. Rock does the Five Time pose but Booker pops up and throws him out in a big surprise.

Rating: C-. Just a battle royal here with Rock stealing the show and putting Booker over like a guy of his stature should be doing. It’s nice to see someone getting a new main event push, especially when Rock is clearly getting ready for a big showdown with Austin. Most of the people here didn’t mean much and that makes for a dull battle royal.

Overall Rating: C+. Can we give Rock a two hour block every Monday night to let him do whatever he wants and show everyone how to be entertaining? This was ALL Rock tonight as the rest of the show is paling in comparison. I can barely think of anything else on the show other than Booker winning, which tells me how dominant Rock really was tonight. The wrestling meant nothing here but Rock was pure gold. Find that opening promo though and take notes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: April 1, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We’re coming to the start of some new stuff here as last week wrapped up some stories. First and foremost, Prince Puma is still Lucha Underground Champion and has a much better looking belt. The victory might have set up a feud between Hernandez and either Puma or Cage. We also might see some fallout between Son of Havoc and Ivelisse. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap this week is a mix of a bunch of stories with the Crew, Ryck and Drago vs. Aerostar all getting time.

Ryck and two large men (the Mack and Kill Shot) come in to see Cueto. The word on the street is that Cueto ordered the hit on Ryck. Cueto panics and introduces the Trios Titles, offering the three of them a spot in the tournament in exchange for his safety. It’s a deal but they take Cueto’s money as a bonus.

There’s a new house band this week.

Johnny Mundo vs. Angelico

Angelico is getting a lot of ring time recently. Mundo takes him to the mat but Angelico is smart enough to get to the ropes without messing up his hair. A kick to the chest staggers Johnny but he kicks Angelico right back into the corner. Angelico speeds things way up as they start with some running kicks and punches. Mundo gets dropped but nips up into a standoff for a nice sequence.

Mundo sends him to the floor and misses a dive, only to land on his feet. He’s awesome like that you know. They head to the wall in front of the fans with Mundo jumping over it, stopping himself when Angelico moves and immediately jumping at Angelico with the Flying Chuck. Back inside and a running knee the to the face gets two on Angelico. Angelico rolls away from the End of the World before spinning around Johnny’s shoulders into a sunset flip for two. A nice pinfall reversal sequence gives us a series of near falls and Angelico hits a quick double stomp (Vampiro: “Shades of Perro Aguayo”) for two more.

Back up and they slug it out with Angelico taking over off a jumping knee to the face and the kick to the head from the mat. The Flying Chuck gets two for Mundo but Angelico hits a quick Fall of the Angels (running Razor’s Edge throw into the corner) for the same. Mundo goes to the corner and gets kicked in the head again, only to powerbomb his way out of a hurricanrana. The End of the World is good for the pin on Angelico. Why couldn’t Johnny make it that accurate back in WWE?

Rating: B-. I had a lot more fun with this one than I was expecting as Angelico is getting better and better every week. He’s still not what I would call good but he’s more polished out there. That kick from the mat is a sweet little spot and I’m liking him more and more every time I see him. Mundo is one of the best guys in the promotion still and seems a few steps ahead of them, but that’s to be expected.

The mystery chick (remember her?) talks about being kidnapped and wanting to kill the man who took her. The man was named El Dragon Azteca and he was there the night her parents were slaughtered. Now he’s teaching her to fight to gain her revenge. Did I stumble into a kung fu movie by mistake?

Alberto El Patron congratulates Johnny on his win and they shake hands. Johnny asks if Patron is here to face guys he knows he can beat or does he want a challenge. That gets a raised eyebrow but Johnny is just kidding. Alberto forgot about Johnny altogether because Johnny had almost quit on wrestling. Johnny says he’s the face of this company but Alberto just chuckles. Now there’s a big match in the making.

Sexy Star wants in the trios tournament but Cueto says she has no partners. He has an idea though: Super Fly and Pentagon Jr. They get Ryck and company in the main event tonight.

Aero Star vs. Drago

This is match number four in the best of five series with Aero Star holding a 2-1 lead. I think you know what that means for this one. Feeling out process doesn’t last long as Drago flips over Star’s back but gets rolled up for a fast two. A kick to the face gives Drago an advantage that isn’t likely to last long before he totally misses another kick in the corner, which Star thankfully doesn’t sell. Star scores with a dropkick and throws Drago to the floor as Vampiro says this is like the NHL playoffs.

After a quick dive, Star throws him back in for two off a springboard splash. Star misses a charge and falls to the floor but Drago doesn’t follow up for some reason. Instead he puts on a headscissors hold which lasts as long as you would expect a hold to last in a match like this. Drago dropkicks him to the floor but doesn’t follow up again, opting for a kind of powerbomb back inside. Something like a middle rope Whisper in the Wind sets up a rolling cradle to tie the series with a fast pin.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have the time to get really fun but these two are able to have entertaining matches against each other. The big finale should main event whatever show it’s on and I’m actually curious as to what the winner gets. Just a title shot would seem a bit too simple, but they’re running out of things to give them.

They shake hands but go head to head post match.

Cueto is disappointed with Angelico, Son of Havok and Ivelisse, so he puts them together in the trios tournament. I’m kind of curious as to who else is going to be in the tournament. You can pencil in the Crew, but who else can there be? Angelico and Ivelisse leave and Havok tells Cueto that he dumped her. Ok then.

Trios Titles Tournament First Round: Kill Shot/The Mack/Big Ryck vs. Super Fly/Pentagon Jr./Sexy Star

Mack (known elsewhere as Willie Mack. He was signed to WWE for like a day back in the fall of 2014) is your standard stereotypical black wrestler with an afro and a pick while Kill Shot is a masked man who looks like Kenny King. You might know him from the indies as Shane Strickland. Pentagon dedicates this to his master as usual. Mack cranks on Pentagon’s wrist to start as Vampiro explains the history of the trios matches, dating back to CMLL over a hundred years ago (the company turned 82 this year, which is the longest running wrestling promotion in the world).

The pretty good sized Mack flips over Pentagon and the fans are way into him. Striker goes old school with a Norvell Austin reference before Pentagon dropkicks Mack down and adjusts his wrist tape. A VERY loud chop stuns Mack in the corner and the fans are already cheering for Pentagon. That’s fine with Mack as he just plows over Pentagon for two but the masked dude comes back with a Backstabber (not a lung blower Matt. You’ve been better about that recently so don’t start again).

Off to Super Fly vs. Kill Shot, with the latter handstanding into a headscissors. Super Fly backflips over him and takes Kill down with a springboard wristdrag. Star comes in for the first time and goes right after Kill Shot but he chops her right back to take over. She gets two off a headscissors of her own but Ryck comes in for the save and starts hurting people. Sexy gets thrown over the top onto her partners, with Striker giving it ZERO notice as he reads his history lessons off a paper.

Kill and Mack hit their own dives to take everyone down though to finally get Striker’s attention. Ryck loads up a dive of his own but is nice enough to run right at the corner Star is on, setting up a high cross body for two. It’s off to Ryck vs. Pentagon with the big man hitting another loud chop, only to eat a superkick to put him down again. Pentagon vs. Kill Shot now with both guys failing at their kicks until Pentagon gets two off a fisherman’s driver.

Everything breaks down with Pentagon throwing Star up for a hurricanrana (ala Rey Mysterio) to Shot, setting up a Superfly Splash from Super Fly (how appropriate) but Ryck breaks it up at two. Ryck plants Fly with a spinebuster for two before Pentagon starts firing off the kicks. That’s fine with Ryck as he knocks Pentagon outside and swats Star away. Mack hits a brainbuster on Fly, setting up a top rope double stomp from Kill Shot for the pin to advance. In the first mention of this, there are three regular matches in the tournament with the winners going on to a three team final. That explains a bit.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but there were some flaws. I’m not a fan of this insane style, but to be fair that’s what they’re going for as it’s the lucha libre standard. These trios matches are more of a tradition than anything else, though I’m really not sure they warranted a title. Mack wasn’t bad, Kill Shot was just there, and I’m still not sure about having Ryck as a top guy. He’s definitely better as a wrecking machine though.

Pentagon goes after Fly’s arm but Star breaks it up and bails with Super Fly.

Overall Rating: C+. This was another good show from the company, as they continue to never let the show get boring. Even with something we’ve seen multiple times now in Aero Star vs. Drago, they kept it moving fast enough that it didn’t get dull. That’s a major problem for so many promotions but the one hour time slot makes it a lot easier to keep things moving. Totally watchable show this week, even though it was nothing that blew me away.

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Thunder
Date: November 11, 1999
Location: Allen County War Memorial, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Attendance: 3,283
Commentators: Scott Hudson, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Mayhem and I’m losing my will to fight. Thankfully this is a live show meaning it’s only going to be mostly horrible instead of the scum of the earth that it can be when it’s taped. One of the few good things about Russo TV is the matches are short so the horrors don’t go on as long. Let’s get to it.

One more note: of those 3,283 in attendance, 1,771 were paid. The WWF ran a house show at the same venue about seven months earlier and drew over 7,700 paid. The building’s capacity for a basketball game at the time: 10,240.

Opening sequence.

Lash Leroux vs. Evan Karagias

Disco comes out for commentary, which will be a running theme tonight. For Nitro: Evan vs. referee Johnny Boone, who is working this match. Why? Actually I was hoping you knew. Feeling out process with Evan taking Lash down for a headlock but Leroux uses the ropes for a break. Evan starts arguing with Boone, so here’s Madusa because the opening match on Thunder needs this many storylines. They start some basic wrestling to fill in time before the next story and Lash is clotheslined to the floor.

Cue the story as Disco hits on Madusa. That thankfully goes nowhere and Evan hammers on Lash, only to have Leroux flip out of a belly to back suplex and grab a Russian legsweep for two. Another suplex puts Evan down as Disco says he’s going to seal the deal with Madusa. Evan fights back with some chops and wins a slugout before getting two off a Thesz press. Instead of following up though, he goes after Disco for hitting on Madusa, who slaps Disco as she sees Evan. As he heads back inside, Leroux nails Whiplash for the pin.

Rating: D. This ran 4:34 and managed to fit all that nonsense in there. How in the world do they think this is the best course of action for the opening match? I have no idea who I was supposed to cheer for out there or what I’m supposed to focus on, but I’m pretty sure it’s not the wrestling.

Disco laughs at Evan and says he’ll bet $25,000 that he can beat Karagias at Mayhem. Madusa helps Evan up, whispers in his ear and kisses him. Evan accepts and Disco is given another Whiplash.

Gene asks Berlyn why he stopped dancing, earning him a hand over his mouth and a threat. Were we really not supposed to realize that was Wright until now?

Sid is looking for Rick Steiner.

Berlyn vs. Curly Bill

My goodness. Of all the things in WCW, THIS is the thing that gets a blowoff??? Curly is announced from South Pittsburgh, Texas. Berlyn hammers him in the corner as you would expect but Curly slips out of an attempt at a slam. Cue one of the Misfits to tell Berlyn to come out back for a fight, but the Bodyguard goes instead. Not that it matters as Vampiro comes in to jump Berlyn for the DQ. See, this is one of those things where a simple tweak would have been fine. Why not have Berlyn get a quick pin on Bill and THEN do the angle? Would that have really hurt anything?

Post match, Curly covers Berlyn and counts his own three, so the Bodyguard comes in and throws him out. Thanks for wasting that extra bit of time guys.

Gene talks to La Parka and Silver King. La Parka speaks English here, on orders from the Powers That Be. His English is actually fine, making me wonder why in the world he’s never used it before. The guy was over, he was fine in the ring and apparently he could talk so wh……oh right it’s WCW. Or that wasn’t La Parka under the mask, which is always a possibility.

Chavo tries to sell Amway products to a Villano. OH COME ON. They’re making a throwaway line into an angle?

Rick Steiner rants about Sid dumping him for the Outsiders so Sid nails him. Security breaks it up and I guess that’s our next HUGE match.

La Parka/Silver King vs. Lizmark Jr./Villano V

Before the match, La Parka talks about learning promos but still getting stuck in these lame matches. His lips don’t move so maybe I don’t have to be so annoyed at WCW for not pushing him. Well not really as he was good enough to be pushed harder but at least the talking wasn’t as big of a deal. It sounded like Ed Ferrara this time. Everyone jumps La Parka for what he said and he starts with Lizmark. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts La Parka down and Lizmark taunts King into the ring for a beatdown on the skeleton guy. King gets back at him with a knee to the spine and it’s off to King and Villano.

King slams Villano down and does a dance (he’s no Big Wiggler) before tagging La Parka back in. Villano avoids a dropkick and Lizmark throws La Parka to the floor for a suicide dive. With his partner in trouble, King busts out the yet to be named 619 to taunt Lizmark before sidestepping a charging Villano. Now it’s King diving on everyone before what appeared to be an edit sends La Parka back to the ring. As in he was on the floor and a split second later he was on the mat. Lizmark misses a top rope backsplash and gets caught by La Parka’s corkscrew dive for the pin.

Rating: C-. Totally standard lucha tag with nothing interesting and the clipping being more distracting than anything else. So much for the show being live too. One might think they’re going somewhere with the La Parka stuff, but if he never gets near the title scene, none of it is going to mean much.

Post match La Parka chairs Lizmark and Villano.

Berlyn and the Bodyguard beat up Curly Bill in the back. This thing is continuing???

Hennig says he isn’t losing and going anywhere.

Chavo sells a childless Kaz Hayashi a bunch of diapers. I think this speaks for itself.

Recap of Nitro.

Booker says he and the woman from Nitro go back a long way. More on this later I’m assuming, but we might have to see Chavo selling stuff again.

Sid stares at Rick Steiner on a monitor. Steiner doesn’t seem to know that there’s a camera on him.

Disco is on the phone and says he’ll have their money. Maybe he can get some additional money if he gets rid of Hennig.

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Steiner is defending and hammers Booker down in the corner to start. Back up and Booker ducks a Steinerline and hits the flying forearm and a side kick. They have to get all their stuff in though as this match isn’t likely to break five minutes. Steiner comes back with two straight belly to belly suplexes (check those off the list too) and clubbing forearms before we hit the chinlock. Booker quickly fights up with his series of kicks but Steiner shoves the referee in front of the missile dropkick. Cue Sid to shove Steiner off the top and plant him with a powerbomb to give Booker the pin!

Rating: D+. And never mind as this happens.

Other referee Johnny Boone comes out and we’ve got a Dusty Finish. Sid powerbombs both referees and brawls with Steiner. The match was nothing special and your standard angle disguised as a wrestling match.

Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko

Douglas is on commentary and Hennig is fired if he gets pinned. I believe this is the third week where we still have no explanation for why that’s the stipulation. They do some of that wrestling nonsense to start with Dean grabbing an armbar before opting to hammer away in the corner. You can see his soul dying with every punch. Curt gets two each off a sunset flip, backslide and rollup as he tries to keep his job.

Malenko bails to the floor before heading back inside, only to get punched in the face to send him back outside. Back in again and Dean grabs a quick belly to back before putting on a chinlock. Curt comes back with his usual but Dean hits a very unusual (for him anyway) low blow but gets small packaged to counter the Cloverleaf. Back up and Malenko misses a charge in the corner, only to have Asya distract the referee so Shane can hit Hennig with the cast.

This brings out Disco Inferno as Malenko covers off a suplex. Disco shoves Malenko off and covers Hennig but Curt gets up and hits Inferno. Dean suplexes Hennig again for two but Benoit runs out for the Swan Dive on Malenko as Disco keeps everyone else at bay, giving Hennig the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s kind of interesting that you have easily the best wrestling match of the night going on when they have a nonsensical run-in followed by a more sensible run-in to end the whole thing. As many people have said before: Russo did not know how a wrestling match was supposed to go so he watered it down into something he did understand and the wrestling fans suffered as a result. It’s so sad to see Dean clearly just there because he has to be and doing things he doesn’t want to do. You can see how miserable he is out there and I completely understand him leaving soon.

Rick Steiner and Sid fight.

Maestro is ready for his match with Brian Knobbs tonight and promises to go heavy metal if necessary. Well he’s already below Van Hammer so it can’t hurt.

Knobbs and Hart aren’t happy with Norman Smiley. I am as he’s one of the funniest things on the shows lately.

Maestro vs. Brian Knobbs

Hardcore. Smiley comes out for commentary with a violin case to distract Knobbs but it doesn’t work so well (imagine, mind games not working on Knobbs) as Brian nails Maestro with a trashcan a few times. It’s cookie sheet time but a chair shot doesn’t work as well as Maestro scores with a dropkick. Maestro gets in some basic weapons shots but Jimmy Hart grabs his leg, allowing Brian to take over again.

Smiley yells at Hart to scare him off and the guys in the ring trade more basic weapons shots. There’s not much to say here other than “Knobbs hits Maestro, Maestro hits Knobbs, Knobbs and Maestro are hitting each other.” They head outside where Smiley goes after Jimmy to distract Knobbs, allowing Norman to hit Brian with a pipe. Maestro rolls Knobbs up for the pin.

Rating: D-. I just sat through five minutes of Maestro to set up a Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs match. This is what I’ve come to in my life. It’s also proof that there’s more to this kind of stuff than just hitting people with weapons. People remember Road Dogg, Al Snow and Crash doing the same weak spots because they did them with some charisma and other creative spots to go with it. Also it helped when they did things outside the ring area but that could go horribly for WCW. Anyway, match was as bad as you would expect it to be.

We look at Malenko beating Mysterio on Nitro.

Tag Team Titles: Kidman/Konnan vs. Barbarian/Jerry Flynn

I’m assuming this is a title match with Kidman and Konnan defending in case you’re really new at this. Torrie is in a backless green top and even Barbarian seems to notice her. After far too many catchphrases and unintelligible gibberish from the Animals, Flynn goes outside to hit on Torrie and gets slapped in the face. She’s not into mullets I guess. Eddie goes after Flynn and gets both himself and Torrie ejected. There goes the interest in the match. As this is going on, Konnan and Kidman double team Barbarian with Kidman getting two off a middle rope Thesz press.

Barbarian shoves him out of the corner though and it’s off to Flynn for a spinwheel kick. Yes Jerry Flynn is throwing kicks people. I’m stunned too. A belly to belly gets two on Kidman before it’s off to Barbarian for a headbutt and a powerbomb, putting him on the same list as Lodi and Sid. Now there are three names you’ll probably never see together again. Barbarian misses a top rope headbutt but catches Kidman on top with a huge belly to belly superplex. Cool move actually. Everything breaks down and Kidman hits a high cross body to pin Barbarian.

Rating: C. This was WAY better than I was expecting but that might be due to it being so simple. The Animals were never in any danger but you have two guys get in some decent looking offense on them and it’s a nice little match. I still stand by my theory that Barbarian is very underrated. The guy kept getting steady work for over ten years and had some good looking power moves. He was a great role player and nothing more but he was good at what he did.

Luger says he meant to mace Goldberg on Monday and promises to make it up to Sting. The fact that these two are in a feud in 1999 tells you almost everything you need to know about where this company is heading.

Video on the Nitro Girls civil war. They really think we remember which of these are which?

The Revolution says they’re not done. Saturn starts talking about the Beatles so Malenko asks him who writes his promos. In an actually funny reply, Saturn pulls out a notebook and says “I do! I’ve got a hundred of them!” That one caught me by surprise. Well done.

Total Package vs. Kaz Hayashi

During the entrances, Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart is announced for Nitro. Yes, that’s a match they want to advertise in advance. Luger comes out with a knee brace and street clothes on, saying he’s wrestled over 3,000 matches in thirteen years and won’t be able to compete on this knee. Kaz is annoyed that Luger mispronounces his name and calls him a chicken so the fight is on. A suplex, choking and a clothesline set up the Rack to end this in less than a minute and a half. Total squash.

Luger holds his knee post match. There’s nothing wrong with a good old fake injury.

Sid Vicious vs. Perry Saturn

Sid shoves him down to start and nails a clothesline as Shane Douglas jumps in on commentary again. Saturn’s cross body is countered into a backbreaker as we seem to already be in squash mode. Malenko offers a distraction but gets stared down, only to have Saturn dive on his stable mate by mistake. So Sid is so insane that he makes the other wrestlers make mistakes?

After being dropped on the barricade, Saturn grabs a quick t-bone suplex back inside, followed by a springboard leg for two. A springboard forearm staggers Sid again but he kicks Saturn in the face to take over. Saturn kicks him low to break up the chokeslam, only to jump into it a second later. Powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet mother of goodness they’re turning Sid face aren’t they? I know it’s been hinted at all night but he’s wrestling this match as the good guy. Just…..no people. I know he’s insane and the crowd likes him but I can’t just forget all the matches he messed up, ruining Benoit’s push and EVERYTHING ELSE he’s done in the last few months to accept him as a face now.

I rant and rave about a lot of things WCW does but this actually bugs me. Sid needs to do WAY more than fight Rick Steiner (after turning on Steiner like a heel would. So yes, Rick Steiner should be the face in this feud and good night does that sound wrong to say) to be forgiven for what he’s done in the last few months but this is the new WCW I guess.

Sid teases powerbombs on Malenko and Asya but has to fight off an invading Rick Steiner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Somehow this was one of the better shows of the Russo run so far. It’s another meaningless show with no connection to most of the main stories, but now we get a SID face push. I can tolerate these shows a lot more easily than Nitro as it’s shorter and less insane, but it doesn’t mean they’re fun to watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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This is a show where most fans just didn’t want to see it. The interest wasn’t there, but it had one good thing going for it: it’s Wrestlemania. No matter what happens on the show, there’s always something worth checking out. A few days before the show, I was talking about the card on the radio and the host said that it was a good card on paper and you would be looking forward to the show if you hadn’t seen the build. That seemed more and more accurate as the show came closer. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the card, I want to cover some of the scenery. Above all else, that stage was HUGE. It was probably an easy forty yards long, making the wrestlers look tiny by comparison. That helped give the show the huge feel it was hoping for and the whole thing looked great. I know some people have complained about the sunlight but it really didn’t bother me that much. I’ve seen shows outside where it was raining so hard that there were puddles in the ring so some sun isn’t exactly a disaster.

The opening pre-show match was its usual fun, though I liked the elimination style from last year better. Jey Uso not being able to go hurt things a bit but having one less person might have been the best thing that could have happened in this mess. Also, it’s not like he’s some polar opposite from his brother. When I’m reviewing an Uso match I just pick one of their names and alternate whenever they tag. Does it really matter either way?

The match was a huge spotfest as you would expect and eventually lost all semblance of wrestling. Normally that would sound bad but it was exactly what it should have been here. The champs stood out more than anyone else and it’s clear that no one cares about New Day and Los Matadores, but did anyone not know that coming in? The champs retains after Cesaro stole a pin, which was exactly the ending they should have gone with.

The second match was the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and Big Show won. Why you ask? Because apparently he’s never won a battle royal and we’re supposed to ignore World War 3 1996, the one he won on Smackdown in March of last year, the one he and Kofi co-won on Raw in 2011, the ECW vs. WWE Head to Head battle royal in 2006 and a battle royal he won on Nitro because this company doesn’t know how to do research, which could include things like looking online or, I don’t know, ASKING HIM IF HE’S EVER WON A BATTLE ROYAL.

Anyway, this was your old standard formula of having everyone brawl then have some people do a sequence to get eliminated. Mizdow got the big face turn against Miz, only to get thrown out by Big Show with ease. Yeah having Mizdow eliminate Big Show on his own would be a stretch, but having him win by eliminating Miz would have been a huge moment. Naturally we need Big Show to win his fourth battle royal because no one remembers the others. Oh and if you remember the story, he was the last man standing in the 2000 Royal Rumble but wasn’t declared the winner.

Aside from Big Show and Mizdow, the only story was Hideo Itami from NXT. He didn’t do much, but at least he was there and got to have a quick moment. It was probably better to have him in there instead of someone they’re ready to push like Balor. Itami is just a kicking machine at this point but he’s still decent enough for a spot like this. Not a fan of the match if you couldn’t tell by three paragraphs about a battle royal.

Aloe Blacc sang America the Beautiful. Four things: Aloe Blacc sounds like a lotion and is a far cry from Aretha Franklin or Gladys Knight. Also, why is it almost always America the Beautiful and almost never the Star Spangled Banner? Either is fine but I’ve always wondered that. Finally, I’m out of touch with modern music and I don’t seem to be missing anything.

The opening seven man ladder match was pretty much exactly what fans were expecting: a huge mess with almost no story to it and one big spot after another. It wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before and it probably would have been better to have five people instead of seven but for an opening match, this was solid. I would have put this on later and not had it so soon after the other mess of the Tag Team Title match, but there was nothing much to complain about here.

As for the people in the match, they did just about what they were supposed to do. R-Truth and Stardust were just there (though Barrett breaking Stardust’s glittery ladder was hilarious), Ziggler was the one that got close but couldn’t pull it off, Ambrose got put through a ladder for the big spot (which was actually really smart because it wrote him off the show later so he couldn’t stop the big ending), Barrett was fighting everyone, Harper was there for the power and that only leaves one guy.

Having Bryan win a title in the opening match was a good way to get the show off on the right foot. Aside from fighting for his fifth different title in five Wrestlemanias (US Title, World Heavyweight Title, Tag Team Titles, WWE World Heavyweight Title, Intercontinental Title), they had to throw the fans a bone to go from him having one of the coolest moments ever at Wrestlemania to opening the show the next year. Winning the Intercontinental Title is a step down, but at least it’s Bryan getting back into the swing of things. Good stuff here and a solid opener, though it probably could have been trimmed down.

Things slow down a bit with the first singles match of the night as Randy Orton beat Seth Rollins. This was kind of a surprising result for me but it also telegraphed what was going to happen later in the night, ala Edge back in 2006. The RKO at the end with Seth being launched through the air was good, though I’ll still take Evan Bourne’s Shooting Star into an RKO for the best ever. Either way, Orton can nail that thing from almost anywhere and it never stops looking great.

However, this opens up some problems: we’ve seen these guys fight a few times now and we’re supposed to pay to see them fight at Extreme Rules and potentially at a third show in May? The booking may be logical on paper, but I’m not sure it’s going to get people to watch week after week. It was a good match, but I really liked what Wade Keller said about Orton on Austin’s podcast this week: he’s so naturally talented and has been around so long that the expectations on him are very high. When he has a good match, it’s almost considered a disappointment because he can be so naturally good when he’s on his game.

Now we get to the match which is probably going to get the most controversy all night. This is where the great entrances began. First we had Sting coming out to a Japanese drum band, which was cool but kind of bizarre at the same time. I have no idea what kind of connection it’s supposed to be, but I guess WWE just wanted Sting to have his own entrance that was unique for their show. The problem with this was Sting is always a high energy guy and the slow drum stuff didn’t quite fit the top level show in the world.

Then HHH came out with an army of robots, in Terminator gear with Arnold Schwarzenegger himself doing a video introduction. It was at this point that you knew HHH was going to be the big star here and that this was really just a story with Sting involved instead of a story about Sting. The question here was what could Sting do after a few years off and all that time in TNA.

Amazingly enough he looked pretty solid. This was an old school style match with both guys working each other over and HHH working over the back to slow Sting down. This was a very nice change of pace after Orton and Rollins having the fast paced main event style and all the insanity that took place in the first three matches. It’s the style they should have gone with and it worked fine.

Then seven people interfered, completely ignored wrestling history, made old people look old, having Kevin Nash do what I think was the funniest bit of the night, and then ending it with a hammer to the face. In case you didn’t watch the show and are just reading this (for some strange reason), it was the Monday Night Wars all over again with DX running in first (with Sting DIVING OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL THREE OF THEM. Not bad at 56 years old) and then the NWO slowly hobbling in to counter them, all capped off by Shawn superkicking Sting.

Where do I even begin? Aside from the logical Shawn interference, this was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve seen in years. First and foremost, Sting spent nearly two years fighting the NWO (or at least the Black and White) but now he’s going to fight with them for the Monday Night Wars? A battle where his partners are the biggest WWF guy ever to that point and two guys who were the definition of hired mercenaries in the war and are fighting against one of their best friends? That’s the best they’ve got?

It also caused us to see the New Age Outlaws and X-Pac on the same level as Hall, Nash and Hogan. Under no circumstances at any time in the history of professional wrestling does that hold up. Despite the fact that Billy Gunn is less than five years younger than Sting (no real connection to this, just find it kind of mind blowing), there is no way that these six guys are on the same level, even with Nash going down and holding his quad in a funny bit.

After all the insanity and ignoring continuity for the sake of the Monday Night Wars revival, Sting kicked out of the superkick (and out of the Pedigree earlier) and broke the sledgehammer, only to have the third Stinger Splash collide with the sledgehammer to give HHH the pin.

This is one of those moments where you sit at the screen, shake your head just a bit, then either sigh heavily or break a small appliance while screaming loudly. The fact that they brought Sting in and had him lose in his first match came off as one of the biggest wastes of time I’ve seen in years. It felt like they were closing the door on Sting, which is fine in theory, but they couldn’t close it on a victory? It was such a mess that it wouldn’t have been remotely clean so HHH doesn’t lose face and the fans get to cheer.

Instead, it was one last (and by last I mean not last whatsoever) thumb of the large nose at WCW, which was entirely what this feud was based on, even after Sting said how ridiculous that would be. They even had the factions come out for the match, despite WCW going out of business FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Is WWE really that insecure about a show on the air less than six years total that they have to dig it up and bury it one more time nearly fifteen years later? Apparently so, because that’s exactly what they did.

Oh but we’re not done. After the match, we got the big respect handshake. As I said in the original review: YOU HIT HIM IN THE FACE WITH A HAMMER AFTER COMING OUT WITH AN ARMY OF ROBOTS! NO HE DOES NOT WANT TO SHAKE YOUR HAND! This was supposed to be HHH saying he respected Sting after the battle. Keep this one in mind because we’ll be coming back to it later.

I know I complained about it a lot, but this was one of the big song and dance numbers that you can only get at Wrestlemania and I had a blast watching it. The run-ins were incredibly fun (illogical but fun) and Sting looked like he did back in the best of his TNA years, which was a pretty good time for him. I was impressed with what he did on a wrestling front and the match was more entertaining than it had any right to be. No it didn’t make sense and was a huge mess, but what else were you going to do with this match, especially with that ending?

Daniel Bryan celebrated with a bunch of former Intercontinental Champions for the Ron Simmons cameo. Jericho would have been a good addition here but what we got was fine.

Then we had a concert as all the NWO and DX guys try to figure out whose walker is whose. I still don’t like these things as they waste so much time to give us songs we’ve heard a million times coming into the show, but hey, at least WWE can say this is an ENTERTAINMENT show instead of silly old wrestling. You know, because a seven minute concert totally changes the opinion of the show right?

The not so serious portion of the show continued with the Divas tag match between AJ Lee/Paige and the Bella Twins in what wound up being AJ’s final match in WWE (for now). This match reenforced my issue with the Bellas all along: they’re just not very good. Yeah they’re watchable in the ring and have gotten WAY better in the last six to eight months, but there’s a very thick line between good and watchable. They’re combining to be the top of the division and that’s just not going to cut it for a long term run at the top. AJ made Nikki tap in a short match after spending a lot of time on the floor.

I tried to like this match and it was better than most Raw matches you would see, but it didn’t work as the big Wrestlemania match for them. The Bellas are good at getting heel heat and playing the stuck up better than you villains, but they simply cannot back it up in the ring. It’s like they’re following a tightly written script for the match and would be lost if anything went against that plan. That’s a sign of a sub-par worker and the Bellas fill that role like Nikki fills out those shorts.

In theory this was to set up AJ vs. Nikki for the title, but why couldn’t that be taking place at Wrestlemania? I complained about this leading up to the show and it still didn’t make sense here. Having this just be a tag match after a couple of title matches were used to set it up was totally backwards thinking and never held up. The wrestling was ok, but the Bellas are just killing this division every day they have the title. It’s like the life is being drained out of the division, much like HHH’s World Title reign in 2003: the matches aren’t bad but you roll your eyes when the title is retained and beg for ANYONE to give you a break.

The Hall of Fame did their thing. This was what it was and I always like seeing them out there and hearing the Fink’s voice. It felt faster this year, but there’s nothing wrong with taking five minutes out of a four hour card to let these people salute the crowd on the grand stage one more time.

Now we get to one of the bigger matches as Rusev defended the US Title against John Cena. In what might have been the entrance of the night, Rusev came out in a tank. I mean a full sized let’s go blow a hole in a building tank with Lana surrounded by Russian soldiers carrying the belt. I know Cena’s entrances are well known at Wrestlemania, but he’s going to have his hands full topping this.

Cena had a big speech with videos from American Presidents and shots of the military as we heard about how great this country is. Then Cena just walked to the ring as usual for a pretty anticlimactic ending. It was cool, but it needed something more than just Cena coming down the long aisle. I mean…..RUSEV WAS IN A TANK! Side note: the next night on Raw and then on Smackdown, the announcers started using The Russian Tank as a nickname for Rusev. I dig it.

The match….not so much. It was still good and an entertaining match with Cena finally breaking the Accolade and pinning Rusev to win the title, but it was just kind of there. I still liked it and Cena brought the goods (including a springboard Stunner, which should be someone’s finisher again minus the springboard) as he always does. This isn’t a loss where Rusev is never going to recover as every monster built up like him has to lose eventually.

It’s good and Rusev has already won his big match over Cena, but the ending hurt things. The story for this match had been built around submissions but Cena just sidestepped Rusev so he could hit Lana and nailed the AA for the pin. I mean….that’s it? It’s a good match and the ending had to be Cena winning (though imagine the promos Rusev could cut if he escaped with the belt), but the ending was a bit flat for me. At least this way they avoid the ultra repetitive YOU TAPPED OUT chants.

Now we get to the long time filler as the show had two matches to fill in about 80 minutes at this point. HHH and Stephanie came out to brag about owning the company, roughly an hour after HHH was all humble and shook Sting’s hand, making that whole thing even more stupid. I’m still kind of annoyed at that six days after the show.

Anyway, they talked about how they own the people and everyone here and you knew this was going to bring out the Rock. He did his long entrance and catchphrases, only to have Stephanie do her usual schtick as she ripped him apart and made him look like any given guy on the roster. She went one step too far though and slapped Rock in the face, so Rock bailed to the floor…..and walked over to Ronda Rousey.

Now THIS was a worthy use of a celebrity as Rousey is one of the biggest stars in sports right now (and ignore the fact that I have a thing for her) and fits this story perfectly. As you would expect, Stephanie ran her mouth and got her arm cranked. By cranked I mean slightly tugged on instead of being put in a full on armbar, but I’m assuming Ronda is only allowed to get so physical outside of UFC. That’s fine. Disappointing, but fine.

My guess is this sets up HHH vs. Rock with the girls as seconds, because even though Stephanie is a great talker, I don’t think anyone is going to buy her lasting more than five seconds against Rousey. Real trained fighters can barely break fifteen seconds against Rousey but we’re supposed to buy Stephanie as having the slightest bit of a chance against her? Because it’s in a wrestling ring? I’m not buying that, and this is assuming Rousey would ever be allowed to work a match in the first place. Rock vs. HHH is an established feud and seeing them go at it one more time would be fun.

It mostly worked, except for one problem: IT TOOK NEARLY HALF AN HOUR. This was one of the longest talking segments I’ve seen in a long time and a lot of it is due to Stephanie and Rock taking forever to get to the point. Now once Ronda was introduced it was fine as everyone was begging for her to, as Rock put it, reach down Stephanie’s throat and play jump rope with her Fallopian tubes”, but sweet goodness they could have cut five to ten minutes of this and done the exact same thing. But then we wouldn’t have been able to hear about Stephanie being Andre’s friend again, because…..why do we need to hear that anyway?

The segment ran long enough that we didn’t have time to recap Bray Wyatt and Undertaker starting small fires to set up their match. The interesting thing here was Bray wrenching his ankle very badly before the show and barely being able to walk. However, he gutted it out and managed to hold up his half of the match. That brought us to the big question: how was Undertaker going to do?

Actually quite well, as it really seems the concussion played a huge role in how bad the match against Lesnar was last year. Undertaker wasn’t at the HBK level, but he was more than fine for a match like this. He’s also grown some hair back to make him look like Biker Taker, which isn’t my favorite look but is miles better than the bald version, which just makes him look old. I don’t really need to see Undertaker again, but it was good to see that he still had something in the tank after last year’s mess.

I have to give a quick bit of praise to Bray’s entrance, which saw a bunch of scarecrows come to life as he walked past them, turning them into his henchmen. It makes no sense but looked awesome, which brings me to something I’ve been meaning to talk about recently. A criticism I’ve been hearing lately is that Bray’s promos don’t make a ton of sense. I want to tilt my head at these people and ask them what is wrong with their heads.

Look at Bray Wyatt. He’s a backwoods cult leader who worships a spirit named Sister Abigail, who told him that he would save the world one day. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you expect him to give a logical promo? The whole point of the character is that he sounds bizarre and only makes sense to those people crazy enough to follow him.

Undertaker talked about spirits, Ultimate Warrior talked about loading spaceships with rocket fuel and Hulk Hogan talked about dog paddling Donald Trump to safety when an earthquake caused New Jersey to fall into the ocean. Bray Wyatt’s promos are closer to Nick Bockwinkel’s than the work of a lot of people praised for their speaking abilities, but people complain that he doesn’t make sense.

Of course they don’t make sense and he’d be failing if they did. He looks and sounds mysterious and you’re supposed to wonder what he means. It makes just enough sense for you to follow it, but the details aren’t all there and that’s why they work. Yeah he gets repetitive at times, but criticizing him for not making sense is an unfair complaint.

All of that brings us to the big main event, which doesn’t have as much to talk about. It was basically Lesnar vs. Cena all over again with Lesnar destroying the challenger and shrugging off his best shots until he made a mistake and let Reigns stay in it, only to have Rollins cash in Money in the Bank and pin Reigns to win the title.

The match itself was fun, but they were running the risk of making Lesnar repetitive. Don’t get me wrong: it’s still entertaining to see him be all freaky strong (even though he has some thin legs, at least compared to how huge his upper body is), but they can only do this for so long before it loses some of its impact. I liked that they had Reigns making a comeback near the end and you weren’t quite sure if he could pull it off, but if they had him survive and win, I would have been scared to show up at Raw the next night. The booing would have been too much for that hair to handle.

Another point here is the blood, which did a lot of good for the match. It’s something you don’t need to see that often, but it’s good in spots like this one. Quick note here: there’s a video going around that allegedly shows the referee passing the blade to Reigns. That’s actually the referee checking on Reigns, who squeezes his hand to show he’s fine. It’s an old technique and not passing a blade.

Rollins cashing in was a good way to end things, but unfortunately it’s going to lead to some repetitive title matches for the next few months, unless they go with some triple threats. Rollins deserves the title though and that’s the important thing to get done. I certainly like the cash in and it kept them from having to pick from a short list of bad possible endings. It’s a great ending to a great show.

Yes this was a great show and I had an awesome time with the whole thing. I don’t know how well it holds up over time with the lack of a bad build and low expectations in the future, but as it stood it was an outstanding show without a really bad match on the card. There are some issues (Sting losing, time getting crunched because of the talking segment going long) but overall, this blew away my expectations and I had a lot of fun watching it. How long has it been since we had two great Wrestlemanias in a row? Seven years or so? However long it’s been, the answer is too long so it was great seeing another classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 3, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re still in Orlando and the big story tonight is who gets to be the #1 contender. A large group of people want the shot at Angle but tonight Lashley gets the World Title shot at Kurt Angle. As far as other in ring action goes, tonight we have Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young in what is being billed as their final showdown. Let’s get to it.

This show is also billed as bell to bell, but it’s not yet clear what that means.

On tap for tonight, Lashley vs. Angle for the title, Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love, Magnus vs. Bram in a falls count anywhere match and Young vs. Roode in a submission match.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Before the match, Young says all good things must come to an end. Tonight, he says he’s ending Roode’s career and tonight it’s the final chapter for Roode. Matthews says this feud has become like Pacquiao vs. Mayweather. No, no it hasn’t. Roode says he’s already won two matches against Young but now Young wants to be the #1 contender. Tonight, Roode is making sure that this story ends forever. Young promises to make Roode tap, so Roode accepts this as a submission match, even though that was announced earlier in the show.

The fight starts on the floor with Roode getting the better of it but coming back inside to get stomped down. Josh talks about an interview with the referee earlier in the week where he talked about this kind of a match, making the pre-match promo sound even more out of place. They head back outside with Young in control and raking the eyes.

Roode can’t get the Crossface as Young makes it to the ropes, which the announcers cover by saying the referee wasn’t going to call submissions in the ropes despite a lack of disqualifications. Not the best explanation but it’s better than nothing. Back in again and Roode gets kicked in the leg but still catches Eric in the spinebuster. We come back from a break with Roode getting thrown out of the corner and jarring his knee again.

Young throws on a leg bar but Bobby is next to the ropes, which gets a count from the referee. It’s time for Young to get psycho again and bend the knee around the post with something like Bret Hart’s Hartbreaker. The referee breaks it up again and Roode gets back up for a quick Crossface. Young has a bad arm coming in but is able to get to the ropes for the break.

Instead Roode puts on a Boston crab but gets kicked to the floor on the escape. Young sends the knee into the steps again and we hit the figure four inside. Bobby turns it over and the referee is bumped, just as Roode puts on the Crossface to make Young tap. No referee though so Young hits a leg lariat and turns his leg brace around to make the Figure Four hurt even worse, forcing Roode to tap at 16:58. So we’re back to Garvin vs. Valentine from 1990 now?

Rating: B-. Gah of course Young wins because WE MUST PRAISE HIS NAME for being all intense and looking like he’s trying to scare small children. See, he’s really crazy and we have to watch him hurt people, likely because he’s one of the only people they know won’t leave. I’m sick of seeing Young pushed and having him trade wins with Bobby Roode isn’t going to make me care about him.

Here’s Davey Richards with both tag belts. Eddie Edwards follows him out on crutches and it looks like the titles are going to be vacated. Eddie says he’s broken his heel in half and the titles are going to have to be held up as the Wolves can’t defend them. JB asks Davey about a replacement partner but Davey says the Wolves aren’t the Wolves without Eddie so no deal. They’ll be coming for the titles when his foot heals.

Lashley promises to get his title back.

Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim

Love says she flaunts what she has but she’s also a great wrestler. She promises to prove it tonight and blasts Gail in the face at the opening bell. A side slam gets two on Gail as the announcers argue over whether being a champion means you’re the best. Josh says holding the belt means you’re the best, which is what the belt used to mean a long time ago before someone decided they were just props you pass around for fun. They head outside with Gail being sent into the apron but coming back with a Russian legsweep to send Love into them as well.

Both girls beat the count back in and slug it out with Gail taking over and scoring with a missile dropkick for two. Eat Defeat is countered so Gail goes up for a hurricanrana, only to have Love just stand there as Gail crashes. It was supposed to be a powerbomb counter I think but Love didn’t actually use her arms. The Botox Injection gets two as Gail gets her foot on the ropes. Another attempt hits the ropes though and Eat Defeat gives Kim the pin at 6:49.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of either of these girls and this didn’t make me care much more. Gail in the title scene has been done so many times that it’s really hard to care, but I have a feeling they’re setting up another Kong vs. Kim match because this company LOVES to recap stuff that was cool ten years ago.

The cast of a ghost hunting show goes to the Revolution’s ranch. Storm asks them to see if an old friend of his is still haunting a barn so the cast investigates. They think there might have been a murder. More on this later.

We recap Bram vs. Magnus, with Magnus wanting to be a family man and Bram wanting him to be back like his old self again. Bram has gone insane over it and attacked Magnus over and over, eventually bringing Magnus’ girlfriend Mickie James into it.

Magnus vs. Bram

Falls count anywhere. Magnus takes it right to the floor to start and sends Bram into the barricade. They head up to the stage where Bram tries a powerbomb like Magnus did last week but Magnus quickly counters out. He can’t piledrive Bram on the stage either and gets dropped by a low blow. Back to ringside with Bram sending him into the apron but getting caught by a missile dropkick back inside. Magnus can’t keep control though and they head outside with Bram sending him into the steps. With an evil smile on his face, Bram comes back in with some right hands but walks into a clothesline as we take a break.

Back with Magnus punching from the middle rope as the announcers hype a live Twitter on next week’s show. Both guys are down so here’s Mickie James to cheer for Magnus but he wants her to leave. The distraction lets Bram get a chair to blast Magnus in the back. He sends Magnus into the post as well before laying him on the steps. Now Mickie gets in to distract Bram but James Storm of all people comes out to say you don’t hit a woman.

Magnus gets back up and stomps a charging Bram with a boot, setting up something like a Rock Bottom for two. Magnus can’t follow up though and gets chaired in the head for another near fall. The Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair gets two more and Bram is stunned. Back up and Magnus hits a powerbomb, followed by a second powerbomb and the belly to back into a Rock Bottom (the Spineshaker according to Wikipedia) for the pin at 18:55.

Rating: B. I liked this more than I thought I would and I was very relieved that Storm just stopped a single thing and then left. This continues to be one of the best stories TNA has done in a very long time and I didn’t want the Revolution to screw that up. Good brawl here, but the ending kind of came out of nowhere.

Angle says Lashley has never fought anyone like him.

Magnus goes up to ask Storm what that was about. Storm says he was looking out for an old friend. Magnus isn’t sure what to think of that and we can’t see Mickie’s reaction.

We look at Angle vs. Lashley with Kurt winning the title.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging and wearing orange tonight. Angle’s entrance takes place during the break. Feeling out process to start with Lashley knocking him to the mat off a shoulder. Lashley slows things down with a headlock and Kurt heads outside for a breather. Back in and Lashley wrestles him to the mat but the champ fights up and nails a clothesline to send Lashley outside. Back in again and Lashley drives a shoulder into the ribs and puts on a bearhug. He switches over to a waistlock but the fans get Kurt to fight up.

We come back from a break with Lashley still stomping away but getting backdropped to the floor. Lashley gets back in but Angle can’t roll the Germans on him. A spinebuster gets two on the champion and Lashley is getting annoyed. He misses a big swing though and now some Germans connect but Lashley grabs the ropes to counter the third. Kurt gets caught in a running powerslam for two but the third attempt at rolling Germans works better. The Angle Slam gets two and it’s off to the ankle lock but Lashley rolls him to the floor. A limping Lashley follows him outside and sends Kurt into the steps.

They get back in with Lashley smiling, then no selling the ankle lock with a one armed delayed vertical suplex. A good looking spear gets two and Angle is bleeding from the back of his head. With nothing left to do, Lashley goes up top but gets caught in a super Angle Slam for a close two. Angle completely misses the moonsault and now it’s Lashley putting Kurt in the ankle lock. The champ almost taps but rolls Lashley into the buckle for a rollup to retain at 21:19. Lashley’s shoulder was clearly off the mat.

Rating: B+. I liked the match but it didn’t quite hit the mark the previous one did. This felt like they were going for the huge match feel and it worked to a degree, but it felt more like they were just trying instead of achieving. Still though, really good stuff here and more than worthy of a TV main event.

Lashley shakes hands but the replay shows that his shoulder was indeed up.

Overall Rating: B. Really solid show for the pay per view caliber show of the month. The Knockouts weren’t great but Angelina hasn’t been a top shelf worker for a good while now. The main event was good and Bram vs. Magnus continues to be awesome. If they can find some way to maim Eric Young and launch him to Mars, everything will be great in TNA all over again. I’m still not sure what Bell to Bell meant but at least it was still entertaining.

Results

Eric Young b. Bobby Roode – Figure Four

Gail Kim b. Angelina Love – Eat Defeat

Magnus b. Bram – Spineshaker

Kurt Angle b. Lashley – Rollup

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