This one didn’t take long.

This is on the pre-show this year and I can’t say I’m surprised. The other day I saw someone say that this is just the same battle royal they had on the pre-show for years and he was exactly right. Yeah last year’s was cool with Hogan endorsing it and Cesaro getting what should have been the star of a major push for him, but instead it would up being the catch all match for the people that couldn’t get on the show anywhere else.

I won’t bother listing off everyone in the match (only twenty this year, as it probably should be) but here are the names that matter: Miz, Mizdow, Kane, Big Show, Ryback, Mark Henry. Other than that everyone is a jobber or Hideo Itami making his main roster debut. The interesting thing is there’s no spot for Sheamus, who I would have had winning the thing. However, now that he’s not an option, it makes for a more wide open (or as wide as you can get with six guys as potential winners) field.

The only really interesting story for anyone in the match is between Miz and Mizdow, but the problem with FINALLY turning Mizdow here is if he doesn’t win, what difference does it make? Unfortunately I have no faith in the writers to realize this so I don’t think Miz or Mizdow goes over here.

Kane, Big Show and Mark Henry……just no. Henry would be the best choice of the three and I think I’ve covered why I never want to see Big Show or Kane win a match again as long as they live. None of these guys need to win this though and there’s no point in putting any of them over the younger guys. Let someone look good in eliminating them and leave it at that.

That brings us to the two people I could see winning. First and foremost, I really don’t think Itami gets it. He comes off more like an entrant to put in there so they don’t have to put Neville or Balor in the match and have them lose before their callups in the very near future. Itami will probably get a kicking demonstration, but he isn’t going to make it to the final three.

Therefore, I’m going with Ryback. He’s been on a pretty good roll lately and they seem somewhat serious about making him into a big guy (see what I did there?) again. It doesn’t help that I’m still a fan of the guy and would like to see him get as close back to where he was before the WE HAVE TO KEEP THE TITLE ON PUNK BECAUSE WE BOOK THINGS SEVEN MONTHS IN ADVANCE NOW booking cut his legs off. Something tells me I’m wrong on this, but it’s more what I want to see than anything else.

Keep in mind that my pick instantly changes to Sheamus should he be in it, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. What would however be the worst thing in the world is if they don’t do SOMETHING with Curtis Axel in this. I know he won’t and shouldn’t win, but have him do something to play up all the responses he’s gotten since the Rumble. You have something there, so run with it, even if it’s just a short sprint.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Now stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

This match is so similar to last year’s pre-show match that it’s hard to believe a year has passed. The Usos and Los Matadores were in the match last year (with the Usos defending) and Cesaro was in the Real Americans. This isn’t meant to be an important match and will likely have a lot of jumps and dives and not much more.

The build for this has been ok at best with some REALLY glaring issues. As I’ve complained about already, within the last ten days we’ve had two matches focusing on the managers of two of the teams. The Tag Team Champions and one of their challengers have been a backdrop for a bull vs. Natalya, yet people wonder why no one cares about this story. I don’t see much of a reason to be interested, but let’s look at each of the teams.

None of the teams do much for me aside from Kidd and Cesaro. They’re a good act with a nice balance of power and speed (a proven formula for a tag team) and both guys have earned a title reign like this. Unfortunately the division isn’t the strongest, but at least it’s there. Hopefully Cesaro gets a reaction like he got last year, but my goodness he’s cooled down a lot.

Los Matadores are who they are. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about them.

The New Day……yeah they kind of suck at the moment. It’s a shame too as Big E. and Kofi have the potential to be a solid team, but the three man concept really hasn’t taken off. At the end of the day, there isn’t enough staying power for them because we’re not really sure what they’re supposed to be. Oh and because the only characteristic between the three of them is Big E. sweating a lot. At least it’s Kofi instead of Woods. I don’t mind Woods, but if I never saw him again I wouldn’t mind much. Put him in the white suit and let him talk but leave the wrestling to the other guys.

Finally we have the Usos, who haven’t changed a bit since last year other than not having the titles but gaining a manager in Naomi. I’m sure they’ll do their high flying stuff but there really isn’t much to them that we haven’t seen yet. They’re a nice appetizer though: there’s nothing substantial about them, but they get you hungry for the important stuff later on in the night.

As for a winner, I’m afraid they’re going to give the belts back to the Usos, even though they’ve already had their big reign and would just be placeholders until we get the next big team. I’ll say Cesaro and Kidd retain, in the hopes they’ll be the next big team. Unfortunately there’s no Ascension in this match, but at least JBL, the heel commentator, got a face pop and the New Age Outlaws got their annual PPV shot because they’re friends with the boss. I mean, I’m so glad we got a year out of the Ascension dominating developmental to get JBL and the Outlaws over again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 7, 2014
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I figured I’d throw this one in as a bonus, plus I kind of wanted to watch this show again. This is of course the big fallout show from Wrestlemania, which is usually a huge mix of storytelling, debuts, turns and an INSANE crowd that will take over the show. These things can be all over the place and it’s always fun to see where things go. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Daniel Bryan Monster video from last night. That’s still awesome stuff. This one includes him posing with the belts after the main event last night to really cap it off.

Here’s Daniel Bryan, because what else could have opened the show? I can forgive his magically healed shoulder here. The fans go insane of course and even JBL admits that he’s wrong. They won’t let him talk with the DANIEL BRYAN chants. “You guys never get tired do you?” He doesn’t think the fans know how hard it is to do the YES chant with two titles.

The fans try it without two titles and Bryan leads them one more time before his shoulders start hurting. Bryan talks about how the fans are united under behind one word, but the fans cut him off with a YOU DESERVE IT chant. Bryan: “I might deserve it a little bit, but I think you guys deserve it.” He thanks the fans for being behind him and it’s YES time again but here are HHH and Stephanie.

They stand on the apron because HHH doesn’t want to get in the ring and do something he’ll regret. Bryan takes the title off his waist, gets right in HHH’s face, and does the YES pose for a funny spot. HHH says this ends tonight because this is his show. Therefore, he’s booked himself into a title shot against Bryan tonight and the YES movement ends. This was the only way to start the show and Bryan vs. HHH is a fine main event, especially given that you know it’s a big angle.

A graphic of Lesnar standing over Undertaker with the caption “streak conquered” got the loudest heat of the night.

Batista comes in to yell at HHH but the boss says Batista was the one tapping. Orton comes in and says he should get the title match tonight because he has a rematch clause. HHH says he’s the COO so they get rematches at a later date because tonight he’s taking care of Bryan. That’s not cool with them so Stephanie gives them a Tag Team Title shot. HHH says historically, the three of them are unstoppable when they’re on the same page. That’s called planting a seed.

Wyatt Family vs. Sheamus/John Cena/Big E.

Oh here we go. The fans are WAY into the Wyatts but debut singing “John Cena Sucks” to the tune of his theme song. I really wish that one had caught on as it’s just glorious. The good guys charge the ring and the brawl is on with Cena eventually starting against Bray. The fans are almost universally behind Bray here as the nutty crowd is starting fast. Cena’s right hands are booed out of the building and Sheamus comes in with a slingshot shoulder.

Off to Rowan for a slugout and he just shoves a punching Sheamus out of the corner. Big E. comes in for a running shoulder to the ribs before lifting Rowan up for three straight backbreakers, finally winning some respect from the fans. “THAT WAS GOOD!” Harper comes in, accidentally knocks Rowan off the apron, and runs into a shoulder from Big E. It’s back to Cena as the fans get annoyed again but Harper slams him down.

We take a break and come back with Harper holding Cena in a headlock and earning a LET’S GO HARPER chant. Cena loads up an AA but eats a DDT for two instead. Back to Rowan as the fans start singing. Bray comes in again for some frenzied stomping but Cena hits that running clothesline to get a breather. Now the fans sing that Cena sucks but a release Rock Bottom makes them cheer Bray instead.

Cena finally throws Harper down and makes the hot tag to Sheamus to clean house. A top rope double shoulder puts the Family down and Sheamus mocks Bray’s pose. Rowan decks Sheamus with a clothesline (POP) and it’s off to Big E. vs. Wyatt. The Warrior Splash looks to set up the Big Ending but the Family comes back in to clean house, setting up a suicide dive to take out Sheamus. The spider walk (“WYATT’S GONNA KILL YOU!”) sets up Sister Abigail’s Kiss to pin Big E and end the madness.

Rating: C. The match was fine but you know this is all about the crowd. The post Wrestlemania crowd is more of an attraction than the wrestling itself a lot of the time and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for Sheamus taking the pin instead of the Intercontinental Champion, but this is one of those shows where it really doesn’t matter that much.

Slam City ad.

We get a video of people doing a bunch of outdoor sports with the word impossible. It really says I’m Possible though, and you can be too, if you just BOLIEVE.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Santino Marella/Emma

Summer is looking especially fetching tonight. Emma was just so wasted with Santino. The guys start with a dance off but Santino quickly loads up the Cobra, meaning it’s off to the girls. Emma grabs a quick Dilemma followed by the Emma Sandwich before the Emma Lock gets a very fast submission. This was just filler.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar for the mother of all victory laps. Brock shows off his EAT SLEEP BREAK THE STREAK shirt. Heyman says it’s his privilege to represent the conqueror of the Streak. It lasted nearly a quarter of a century but Brock ended it in three seconds. The fans’ shock shows their lack of intelligence, because THEY TOLD YOU SO. Heyman reads the shirt because we’re too stupid to do it ourselves.

Brock isn’t here to put smiles o your face, but rather to shock the WWE Universe and put tears in the eyes of children. Heyman is on fire tonight. Let’s go off page a bit and shoot from the hip shall we? Five seconds after walking through the curtains at Wrestlemania, Undertaker collapsed and was taken to the hospital with Vince himself riding with him. The greatest thing Undertaker ever did was stay down after the third F5 because he would have had a broken neck and a cracked skull. Brock’s evil smile here is glorious.

Here’s what amazes Heyman: “After the match, John Bradshaw Layfield and those two other things that call themselves announcers” applauded the Undertaker, along with 80,000 other people in the Superdome (“Not Silverdome Hogan”). So why weren’t people cheering for the winner? The fans should all feel empowered because they’re all wannabes, just like the rest of that locker room. Everyone was looking down when Lesnar came through the curtain last night because Brock doesn’t respect anyone. “HE BARELY LIKES ME!”

There are a lot of people back there who say they could have fought in an octagon, but Daniel Bryan, John Cena and Undertaker never did that, because they’re all wannabes. A lot of people wanted to be the NCAA Heavyweight Champion, UFC Heavyweight Champion and WWE World Heavyweight Champion, but Rock, Hogan and Austin didn’t do it because they’re all wannabes. And now, for the line of the year. “Last night a lot of people were coming up to me and saying they could have broken the Streak. So why didn’t you?”

We get the debut of “Brock Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1” and Heyman makes sure to say it even slower for the WHAT crowd. There are Hall of Famers, there are legends, there are superstars, but those are all plural. Then there is only one Brock Lesnar. If you don’t understand why this was absolutely amazing, I don’t know what to tell you.

Adam Rose is coming. That should have opened house shows for years but why not just turn him heel and completely miss the point of the character? Or we could have a bunny upstage him.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Randy Orton/Batista

Usos are defending of course. Jimmy slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. The fans of course reminds Dave that he tapped out. Jey tags himself in to punch Orton in the face as the fans want Y2J and then CM Punk. Jey gets beaten down in the corner and both champions are sent outside. The fans switch to JBL as Orton DDT’s Jey off the barricade for the double countout. I’m really glad they didn’t change the belts here because it would have been such a stupid move.

A SICK powerbomb onto the steps crushes Jimmy.

Rob Van Dam vs. Damien Sandow

This is Van Dam’s latest return and you know he’s getting a great reaction. Sandow is quickly sent to the floor but he pulls Rob’s leg out and drives some knees into the chest. The Wind-Up elbow connects and YOU’RE WELCOME for that. It’s amazing how completely different Sandow has become in just a year. Some kicks put Sandow on the floor and the spinning kick from the apron knocks him silly. Back in and Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star for the pin. Just a “welcome back” match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Bad News Barrett

This is Barrett’s return as well and I believe his first match as Bad News. The fans are entirely behind Barrett and did you really expect anything else? Rey hammers away during the catchphrase and becomes the littlest heel on the roster. He quickly sends Barrett to the floor for a sliding splash but takes a hard kick to the ribs back inside. Barrett pounds away at the back and gets two off Winds of Change. He hits a running knee to the ribs, only to have his superplex broken up. A top rope seated senton gets two for Rey and the 619 connects, but he gets crotched on top and Bull Hammered for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match here but the wrestling isn’t the point on a show like this. It’s good to see Barrett back from his nine millionth injury and Mysterio is expendable for something like this. Unless I’m mistaken, this was Mysterio’s last match with the company before he finally got to go back to Mexico.

Video on Rusev, who debuts next.

Alexander Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Rusev quickly takes him into the corner before holding him against the ropes for the knees to the ribs. The jumping superkick and a spinning slam sets up the Accolade for the first win of many.

Hall of Fame video.

Here’s Ultimate Warrior for the first time on Raw in about eighteen years. He puts on a Warrior coat and shakes the ropes, making his face very red in the process. Warrior hasn’t been sure what to say, so he puts on a Warrior mask and lets his other persona (or whatever it is) take over. He talks about how every man’s heart will beat its final beat and if the work he has done in his life means something, his story will never die. There are people in the back with his spirit and it will run forever. This is one of the most disturbing things you’ll ever hear given what happened tomorrow, as it’s a good farewell speech.

We get the very cool “Thank You Fans” video. I didn’t know what that was at first but it made me smile at the end.

Here are AJ and Tamina so the former can brag about being Divas Champion for 295 days now. She gave all of them a chance to prove her wrong and every single one of them has failed. She’s the hero of this story and the savior of the Divas division. Scratch that. She IS the Divas division, but here’s the debuting Paige to disagree. Paige is here to do what no one else would: congratulate AJ on her accomplishments. AJ tells her to go back to NXT and offers Paige a beating to send her there. Paige isn’t ready but AJ slaps her in the face and says let’s make it a title match. The fans are happy because they all know what’s coming.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

The champ jumps her to start and drops Paige with a running elbow. The Black Widow goes on but Paige powers out, hits a horrible looking Paige Turner and wins the title in a shock. Well as much of a shock as it can be given how obvious it was.

Bolieve!

Here’s Hulk Hogan to present the Andre battle royal trophy to Cesaro. Sign in the crowd: “Hogan’s Cue Card: SMOOTHIE KING CENTER!” He gets the building right and says his favorite Wrestlemania moment last night was the battle royal. The fans cut him off with a CESARO chant and Hogan talks about how cool it was to see Big Show lifted into the air and slammed out because Andre himself was watching from Heaven. He brings out the thirty first man in the battle royal who just happened to be the winner.

Cesaro comes out with Zeb Colter in toe. To my great shock, Hogan shakes Cesaro’s hand, says congratulations and walks out. Zeb takes the mic and says he’ll handle it from here because he’s a real American. He talks about making Cesaro an American and a Zeb Colter guy, but Cesaro says that’s not quite true, because he’s a Paul Heyman Guy. Heyman comes out and says he’s the advocate for the King of Swing, sending Zeb into a frenzy. Heyman goes outside to tell the announcers how to talk about his new guy, allowing Swagger to come in and deck Cesaro and break the trophy (SHOCK AND AWE!).

Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro

Joined in progress after a break with Cesaro getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. They head outside with Cesaro staying in control and Heyman holding the broken trophy. Back in and Jack runs the ropes for the belly to belly throw. Knees to the ribs set up a WE THE PEOPLE shout before Jack cranks on both arms. A powerslam gets two but Cesaro raises his boots to stop the Vader Bomb. Cesaro comes back with the apron superplex and some running European uppercuts, but Swagger bails to the floor for the Swing and it’s a countout.

Rating: D+. Cesaro’s year is one of the biggest disappointments since last year as he should have been launched to the main event but he wound up doing nothing for the better part of a year. It’s nice to see him getting a push now, even though he’s cooled WAY off in the last year. Seeing him with a title makes me smile though as he certainly earned it.

We recap the opening sequence that set up the main event.

Stephanie tells Shield and Kane to cool it because what happened last night doesn’t matter. All that matters tonight is HHH winning the World Title match but Shield asks Kane where the Outlaws have gone. That’s too much for Kane who says HHH thinks the Shield are expendable pawns and lets it slip that HHH told him to beat Shield down a few weeks ago on Smackdown. Stephanie calls this an injustice and instantly has Shield’s attention. Oh this is going to be good.

WWE World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. HHH

There’s no HHH just yet though as Batista and Orton come to the ring. Both guys lay out Bryan with their respective finishers and here’s Kane to add a chokeslam. The fans are already chanting HOUNDS OF JUSTICE but they get Batista mocking the YES chant. Instead the fans chant for 3MB of all people but instead here’s HHH to start the match. HHH demands that the bell ring but, just like any villain, takes his sweet time doing anything, allowing the Shield to come out. The match is done at this point so we’ll get to what everyone wants to see.

Kane, Orton and Batista get on the apron and Shield stands on the floor looking at them. HHH looks scared to death in the ring as Bryan is still down in the corner. Now Shield gets on the apron but HHH says this isn’t happening. This isn’t breaking down into a war. The fans think this is awesome and all six get in the ring.

Kane is ready to fight but HHH sends him back to the ropes, only to turn around for a spear from Reigns. The fight is on and Ambrose and Rollins hit a great looking double dive to take down Batista and Orton. A Superman Punch puts Kane down and HHH is surrounded. Bryan gets back up for the running knee and the Authority runs to fight another day to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. The wrestling sucked and if you think that’s the point of the show, you don’t understand how this Raw thing works. This was a great show as it moved so many things forward, debuted new wrestlers, gave us some major plot advancements and felt important for the first time in a very long time. In other words, this show actually did stuff and had some fun instead of beating everything into our heads all night long. It’s one of the best post Wrestlemania shows of all time, which says a lot as this might be the second most important night of the year.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/09/monday-night-raw-april-7-2014-playing-to-the-crowd/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Wrestlemania XXX
Date: April 6, 2014
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 75,167
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

I haven’t watched this match since I saw it the day after seeing it live in the Superdome last year. This show received rave reviews at the time (including from me) and it’s going to be interesting to see how it holds up a year later. Granted, given how this year’s Wrestlemania has been built up, anything is going to seem like a classic. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Under elimination rules and the Usos are defending as part of the TWO HOUR preshow. I remember when these things were thirty minutes but that’s the age we live in I guess. These entrances show you how many different paths people can take. Cesaro is in the same place but with a title, Los Matadores are in the exact same spot, the Usos are in the same match minus the belts, Ryback is rebuilding and Curtis Axel got to confront Hulk Hogan on the go home Raw for Wrestlemania. That last part still makes my head shake.

Axel and Jey get things going with the champ grabbing a headlock. The fans chant WE THE PEOPLE as JBL says Colter is the greatest war hero in Louisiana since Andrew “Stonewall” Jackson in 1814. History geeks around the world are shaking their heads (Thomas “Stonewall” Jackson was a Civil War general who wasn’t born until 1824. JBL meant President Andrew “Not A Stonewall” Jackson) as Jey and Axel chop it out. The Real Americans bail to the floor to avoid a tag attempt and Axel drops Jey with a dropkick.

Off to Ryback for some hard shots but Diego tags himself in to go after Jey. The Usos make a tag and it’s Jimmy vs. Diego but they stop for an OLE! Fernando tags himself in for a dropkick to go with his cousin’s legsweep for two on Jimmy. Cesaro tags Jimmy for the biggest pop of the night so far (that might change) and hammers away before bringing in Swagger for a running clothesline. A springboard back elbow scores for Fernando and, amazingly enough, no one cares.

Both Real Americans are sent to the floor with Ryback and the Usos being thrown on top of them so Los Matadores can dive on everyone. Torito gets on the top but Axel grabs him from behind and throws him inside. Axel goes up but Los Matadores catch him in a double electric chair, allowing Torito to cross body him down onto the big pile for a crash. Back in and Swagger throws Diego off the top and puts on the Patriot Lock for the submission elimination.

Jimmy comes in and jack Jack’s jaw but he gets caught in the Patriot Lock as well, only to have Jimmy roll out in a hurry. Axel tags himself in and stomps on the champ before it’s off to Ryback for a delayed vertical. Axel and Ryback take turns on Jimmy in the corner until Ryback slaps on a chinlock. That goes nowhere until Jimmy fights up and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. The running Umaga Attack staggers Axel but Jack breaks up a charge with a belly to belly.

Ryback plants Swagger with a spinebuster but Cesaro breaks up the Shell Shock. The Meat Hook is blocked by Swiss Death and the Neutralizer eliminates Ryback to send the fans into a frenzy. We’re down to the Usos vs. the Real Americans, which is pretty much what everyone was expecting in the first place. The Usos send them to the floor for a big double dive, leaving all four on the outside.

Back in and Cesaro gets two off a backbreaker to Jey but the Swing doesn’t work. Instead it’s off to Jimmy but Swagger comes in off a hot tag, only to have Jey hit a Whisper in the Wind for two. Swagger, with a bloody arm, blocks the running Umaga Attack with the Patriot Lock but Jimmy breaks it up with a superkick, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Jimmy get tags but the Americans are whipped into each other, setting up a double superkick to Cesaro, followed by the double Superfly Splash to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This was the perfect way to open a show as the fans are now way into things. It’s a pretty meaningless match, proven if nothing else by how similar this year’s pre-show match will be. At the end of the day, that’s the benefit of a multi-team tag match: let the fans get fired up and have a great time while not wasting anything of note. It’s another reason I’m amazed by how little tag wrestling is used. You can use it for something like this but for some reason it’s almost never done.

Post match Swagger and Cesaro go at it with Jack putting on the Patriot Lock as Colter loses his mind. They break it up but Cesaro Swings him to blow the roof off the place again.

The opening video is set in the streets of New Orleans with a jazz band playing. There’s a great opening line of “A good time occurs when we forget what time it is, and man have we lost track of time.” Wrestlers fill up the streets for something like a Mardi Gras parade with shots of famous Wrestlemania entrances, such as Shawn at XII and Heenan/Andre at III, superimposed over the streets. It’s a REALLY cool video and fits the theme of how big a night this really is.

There’s something so amazing looking about the sea of people in the Superdome to watch the show.

We open big with the special host Hulk Hogan, which is really the only way to open a major anniversary Wrestlemania. First line: “Well let me tell you something brother!” Oh yeah he’s got us in the palm of his hand and he knows it. He was there at Wrestlemania I in Madison Square Garden but now it’s thirty years later at Wrestlemania XXX, right here in the Silverdome. I thought he flubbed that line on purpose and I still think it now. Think about it: how many times has that been referenced since, meaning people keep thinking of Hogan? There’s nothing wrong with it if it’s true but I’m almost certain he did it intentionally.

Hogan talks about how there are Wrestlemania moments and surprises, and you never know when one of those moments is going to happen…….CUE GLASS SHATTER! I’ve been to a lot of wrestling shows in my day and I’ve never freaked out more than hearing that sound. That was the moment when you knew you were in for something very, very special that night.

Austin hits all four corners and you can tell he’s fired up to be here. He says it’s good to be back here at the Silverdome and asks if the fans want to see him open a can on Hogan. They were sitting next to each other at the Hall of Fame and Austin has seen every thing Hogan has done over the years, from Wrestlemania I (WHAT!) through Wrestlemania X (which Hogan wasn’t at). Austin appreciates all of Hogan’s accomplishments in this business and shakes his hand. He talks about how tonight is about the current stars…..and here’s the Rock.

After taking his sweet time getting to the ring, Rock and Austin hug for old times’ sake. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Rock says all five of his senses are on fire and FINALLY he has come back……to the SUPERdome! He looks across the ring and sees the two biggest names in the history of the WWE and he’s had the privilege of facing both of them at Wrestlemania.

They’ve had a huge impact on his career and on everyone’s in the back as well. Tonight Cena is coming out here to fight for hustle, loyalty and respect, but he doesn’t do that if no one told him to say his prayers and take his vitamins 29 years ago. Tonight someone is fighting against the Authority (pause for a YES chant) but that doesn’t happen unless a bald headed SOB didn’t have the guts to fight against the boss.

Rock wants to know why so many babies are born just nine months after Wrestlemania? They’re Rock Babies! Rock gives us a great rhyme about the history of Wrestlemania with the final line saying that everyone else would have lost to the three of them (look it up because just reading it doesn’t do it justice). Everyone hits their catchphrases, beer is consumed and all three songs are played. JBL: “My life is complete.”

Overall Rating: A+. Well that was…..oh dang we’ve got three and a half hours to go. I had my money’s worth right here already.

We get the AWESOME recap video for HHH vs. Daniel Bryan. If there’s one thing this show got right (and there are about a hundred of them), it’s the big recap videos. This is set to Monster by Imagine Dragons and shows Bryan going from an NXT rookie up to the US Champion and then into the main event.

At Summerslam 2013, Bryan pinned John Cena completely clean but guest referee HHH knocked him out so Orton could cash in Money in the Bank. HHH didn’t want Bryan as the face of WWE because he didn’t fit the mold, but Bryan spent the next several months trying to prove himself and get the title back. Eventually Bryan wanted a match with HHH but couldn’t get the boss to agree. With nothing else left, Bryan took Raw hostage and forced HHH to agree to let them have a match here at Wrestlemania. The winner is put into the World Title match main event.

Stephanie, showing so much leg that Stacy Keibler would tell her to tone it down, introduces HHH. Naturally HHH has a golden throne with three good looking women (played by NXT girls Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Alexa Bliss) to take off his mask and armor. To be fair, this is pretty cool.

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner goes to the main event title match. For some reason, Bryan’s entrance is never actually announced, likely due to not being able to hear the announcer over the INSANE YES chants. Cole says this is a mismatch on paper, even though Bryan is a multiple time World Champion coming in. HHH would be the heavy favorite but it’s not that big. Bryan is coming in with a bad shoulder after HHH attacked it a few weeks back on Raw. Stephanie kisses HHH for an awesome heel moment.

We start with a long staredown as the fans are about 300% behind Bryan. HHH’s offer of a handshake is kicked away and Bryan gets a quick rollup for two. That would be one heck of a way to open the show. The threat of a big kick sends HHH outside but he comes back in to go after the arm. Bryan flips out and hits a dropkick to the ribs before taking him down with a headlock. Stephanie: “COME ON BABY!” They hit the mat for a nice technical sequence until HHH takes him into the corner and wraps the bad arm around the ropes.

Bryan escapes an attempt at sending his arm into the post before hitting a running tornado DDT off the apron to the floor. As HHH gets up, Bryan dives off the top for a big flip dive and Stephanie is losing it. She shouts that Bryan is a B+ at best as HHH crotches him on the top, followed by a running forearm to put Bryan on the floor. It’s time for the announcer’s table but Bryan fights out of the Pedigree attempt, only to have HHH grab the arm and drive it into the table.

Back in again and HHH puts on an armbar as JBL shouts about how brilliant this is. He really needs to figure out proper tone. Bryan is able to low bridge HHH to the floor but a right hand stops the Flying Goat. Something like a belly to back suplex on the apron drops Bryan’s arm on the apron again and he has to beat the count back in. HHH channels his inner Backlund for a crossface chicken wing before putting on a regular Crossface to make Benoit scream even more.

Bryan finally makes the rope and nails a running forearm to knock some of the smile off of Stephanie’s face. The moonsault out of the corner doesn’t work but Bryan uses a standing switch for some rolling Germans for rolling near falls. HHH reverses back into another chicken wing attempt before settling for a tiger suplex. They head up top for a superplex but Bryan reverses into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. Bryan starts shaking his head as he gets up for the running dropkicks in the corner, only to have HHH nail a running clothesline to stop the third. Stephanie LOSES IT on the floor in celebration.

The Pedigree is countered into a jackknife for two before the big kick knocks HHH silly. Back to the Crossface but HHH can only grab across Bryan’s forehead. Bryan rolls away but gets caught in the middle of the ring ala the ending of Wrestlemania XX. Another roll lets Bryan counter into the YES Lock but again the grip isn’t perfect. HHH finally makes the ropes and you can see Stephanie breathe a sigh of relief. She’s gone from all confident to having to sweat over this match.

HHH bails to the floor but Bryan gets up for two straight Flying Goats, followed by a series of kicks to the chest as they hit another gear. The missile dropkick puts HHH down but Daniel lands on his shoulder. He nips up though and the fans are right back into it. JBL is starting to panic as well as Bryan busts out the YES Kicks. The big one knocks HHH down but he kicks out at two. This is reaching epic.

Bryan sets up the running knee but it’s countered into a spinebuster, followed by the Pedigree for two, sending Stephanie into shock. HHH puts him in the corner for more right hands but is smart enough to break at four. Another Pedigree attempt is countered into a backdrop for two but HHH doesn’t let go of the grip. Bryan won’t get up so HHH drives knees (yes, knees from HHH) to the side of the head. This time Bryan rolls out and kicks the boss in the head, only to miss a second attempt. HHH tries a belly to back but Bryan flips out and hits the running knee for the huge upset pin, sending him to the main event.

Rating: A. This was a great match with the big key of Bryan winning clean. HHH wrestled a smart match and did everything he should have, including the arm work and hitting the Pedigree but Bryan flat out beat him. This match was a Match of the Year contender all year and it’s easy to see why. Really good stuff here and HHH continues to prove why he’s still worth putting in the ring a few times a year.

Post match Stephanie gets in for a real challenge. She slaps Bryan in the face, allowing Stephanie to get a chair and crush Bryan’s shoulder against the post. Oh man they really did stack the deck against him. Stephanie: “That’s what happens when you play with the Game.” Dang she’s good at being evil.

New Age Outlaws/Kane vs. Shield

There isn’t much to this one. Kane blamed Jerry Lawler for letting Bryan’s fans in for the Occupy Raw incident but Shield wouldn’t attack him. The Outlaws were added because who else was going to be put in the spot? Road Dogg’s speech is cut off by Shield’s intro, complete with half masks which didn’t last long. This was right before Shield turned face, even though they’re insanely popular and have practically been good guys for a few weeks now. One last note before we get to the massacre: if you’ve never heard it, Kane’s pyro is one of the loudest things you’ll ever hear live.

Kane punches Ambrose into the corner to start but the US Champion (remember that?) fights back and nails a clothesline. Off to Reigns to run over Gunn before taking down Dogg and Kane for good measure. Reigns even tells the Outlaws to suck it. The Apron Kick (he hasn’t done that in a while) hits both Outlaws but Kane blocks the Superman Punch. That earns him a springboard knee from Rollins and Dean breaks up the Fameasser.

The Superman Punch (which the camera misses) lays out Gunn and Billy is surrounded. He gets outside with Dogg, only to take a double dive from Ambrose and Rollins. All three villains get speared (the Outlaws get theirs at the same time) and a double Triple Bomb to the Outlaws is enough for the pin. Total and complete dominance here as you can feel the Shield’s mega face push coming imminently.

Jim Duggan and Sgt. Slaughter are playing with toys in the back with EVIL Danny Davis counting the pin. Why Duggan isn’t wearing a shirt isn’t clear. Duggan wants another opponent so here’s Ricky Steamboat. They can’t play though because someone has bought the toys. Guess who that would be. On a personal note, other than Davis, I’ve met every person in this segment in the last year. Ron Simmons comes in for the required cameo.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Big Show, Cesaro, Xavier Woods, Sin Cara, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler, Yoshi Tatsu, Brad Maddox, Brodus Clay, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, R-Truth, Fandango, Big E., David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Damien Sandow, Santino Marella, Miz, Titus O’Neil, Mark Henry

In a line I can’t take credit for, this should be the Andre Rousimoff Memorial Battle Royal: the ARMBAR. There are thirty one people in this and eight of them are out of the company less than a year later. I’ll give them credit for this: they snuck everyone but Big Show and Sheamus into the ring during the legends’ segment and I didn’t notice a thing.

Kidd goes to the apron to start and flips onto a pile of people. You can’t tell what’s going on to start like in most battle royals. Tatsu is out first and Cody and Kofi get in a kick off as they’re hanging from the ropes. Maddox, GM of Raw at the time, is out next and Khali knocks Brodus out with a chop. A few guys dump Khali a few seconds later and you can actually see the mat now. There goes Ryder at 3MB’s hands and Young gets the same treatment.

Mark Henry actually sells a punch from Slater before knocking out McIntyre and Mahal. Henry makes it a matched 3MB set by throwing Heath out but Big Show gets rid of him a few seconds later. The ring is down to a manageable number now and it’s nowhere near as crowded. Show throws Titus out next but it’s Cobra time. Miz tries to block it but with an assist from Xavier Woods of all people, Miz is knocked to the floor. Del Rio kicks Santino out and Sandow dumps Woods. Racist.

Cody’s Disaster Kick nails Sandow and Goldust low bridges him to the floor. Intercontinental Champion Big E. powerbombs Gabriel out and throws Otunga to the floor for good measure. Fandango and Big E. get in a fight on the apron and Fandango actually kicks him out. Your champion ladies and gentlemen. The fans start Fandangoing but stop as Sheamus hits the thirty forearms to the chest and shoves the dancer out.

Show throws Truth out and we’re down to Big Show, Mysterio, Sin Cara, Del Rio, Kidd, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Ziggler, Kingston and Rhodes. Sin Cara goes out off camera to get us down to ten and Del Rio enziguris Kidd off the top to make it nine. Another enziguri drops Goldust and a shove gets rid of the other Rhodes brother. Del Rio takes a 619 and Cesaro gets the same treatment, only to uppercut Rey to the floor. Ziggler gets an uppercut of his own in the middle of the ring and everyone is down.

It’s Kofi up first and charging at Cesaro, who launches him over the post and down to the floor. You know it’s not that simple though as Kofi’s feet land on the steps and he gets back in for a HUGE top rope cross body. I paused the video to type a bit with Kofi in the air and I couldn’t believe how high he got on that thing. Kofi kicks everyone, including Big Show, down but he gets caught in the Swing that everyone had wanted to see. There’s something hilarious about those braids flying around.

The Swing goes on for a ridiculous thirty seconds but Cesaro walks into a chokeslam. A Brogue Kick drops Big Show and another puts Kingston out. Ziggler DDTs Sheamus but gets superkicked to the floor but Del Rio, drawing some awesome heat. The final four are Del Rio, Big Show, Sheamus and Cesaro. There’s the cross armbreaker to Sheamus, which JBL points out as a waste of time.

Sheamus powers up but both guys fall to the floor to get us down to two. You know who the fans are behind I’m assuming. Cesaro starts firing off uppercuts and clotheslines but dives into a big chop. Show loads him up but Cesaro slips down the back (ala Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) and casually picks him up (not like Rock at the 2000 Royal Rumble) for a slam to the floor and the win.

Rating: C+. This was a lot more fun than I was expecting and one of the more entertaining battle royals I’ve seen in a long time. Cesaro winning should have meant a big push but it wound up going nowhere due to the incompetence of this company. Good stuff here but they would have been better off with twenty like they’re doing for the second version. That slam was freaking cool too.

Cesaro celebrates with his chest high trophy.

The next awesome recap video shows us Cena vs. Wyatt, which is based around the idea of making Cena destroy his legacy….whatever that means. Wyatt thinks Cena is lying when he talks about hustle, loyalty and respect and seemingly just wants to destroy Cena for fun. He’s a weird guy like that.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Wyatt’s song is played live with a bunch of burning barrels, a woman dancing like she’s possessed and what looks like a bunch of junk set up as an altar. This was CHILLING live and an absolutely amazing visual. Bray has Harper and Rowan with him here. This was before Rowan got pushed by having Big Show knock him out 19 times in a row. The fireflies are starting to become a thing at this point but it’s not there yet. Cena doesn’t have any kind of a special entrance, but how could he follow Bray’s anyway? For some reason Roberts doesn’t even announce him until he’s in the ring.

Bray drops to his knees and offers Cena a free shot to finish him early but Cena tells him to get up and fight. They finally get going with Cena headlocking him to the mat as JBL has no idea what he just saw. Back up and Bray hammers him into the corner, shouting that Cena doesn’t want to fight him. A headbutt drops Cena as Bray asks if this is the one the people call hero.

Bray sends him across the ring but Cena just explodes with a running clothesline. A fired up Cena takes him into the corner, only to have Wyatt laugh as Cena stomps away. John gets creative (or is it basic?) with a running big boot. The Family stares at Cena and Bray shouts that John is a monster before hitting the release suplex slam (cool move). We hit the sleeper but it’s quickly just a regular chinlock.

Cena fights back and starts his finishing sequence but the Shuffle is blocked by Bray’s spider walk. Cena’s reaction is perfect as he falls down and gets distracted by Rowan, allowing Bray to hit a chokeslam (meant to be a Rock Bottom but it’s the same move for all intents and purposes) for two. It’s time for Bray to conduct the crowd but the delay lets Cena get two off a jumping tornado DDT.

Cena’s top rope Fameasser is caught in the Batista neck breaking powerbomb and control switches again. Another finishing sequence has Bray in trouble but he counters the AA into a gutbuster for two. A DDT onto the apron drops Cena and his face just looks stunned. Back in and Bray’s superplex attempt is countered but Cena, ever the rocket scientist, dives on the Family for no apparent reason. They weren’t doing much and they’ll just be ticked off now, but Cena is Cena and unquestionable right?

The wild eyed Bray sends Cena into the steps and says he’s figured out what to do. Cena kicks the steps out of his hands and picks them up instead, only to throw them down instead of giving in to the demons. Back in and Bray runs him over, says he has the whole world in his hand, but misses the backsplash. AA gets two and why are people always shocked by that? If you don’t see two of those it’s not a major match.

Rowan offers a distraction so Harper can get in a cheap shot to give his boss two. It’s about time they did something in this match. Cena goes out after Harper and spears him through the barricade, which seems to be exactly what Bray wanted. Sister Abigail is countered into the STF but the rope is quickly grabbed. Now Sister Abigail connects for two and Bray is……happy? Scared? Shocked? You never really can tell with him.

Bray goes out and rips the top off the Spanish table. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary and tells him to go after the French table in a funny moment. Instead Bray gets a chair and kicks it over to Cena before kneeling in the middle of the ring. He tells Cena to finish this but Cena blasts Rowan instead, setting up Sister Abigail. The kiss is too much though and the second AA is enough to pin Bray.

Rating: C+. It’s a good enough match, but what the heck was the point in having Bray lose here? The entire thing was built up as Bray being a monster and he loses the big match? Now of course this didn’t end Bray’s run, but it was questionable then and it doesn’t get any better a year later. Cena really didn’t need the win and the whole legacy thing still doesn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t get how Bray pinning him ended his legacy, so it seemed to be another way of saying “Hey Cena, turn heel already!” It’s not explained why hitting Rowan is different than hitting Bray but this story never made the most sense in the first place.

Hall of Fame video from last night. This package aired about a million times on Sunday and Monday, to the point where I memorized half the lines. Undertaker coming out with the urn during Bearer’s induction was perfect. Mr. T.’s speech on the other hand was so beyond perfect that I don’t have the words to describe it. Seeing Scott Hall and Jake Roberts up there is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and proof that Diamond Dalla Page is a saint.

Here’s the class of 2015 live: Jake Roberts, Mr. T., Paul Bearer, Carlos Colon, Lita (you all still would and you know it), Razor Ramon and the Ultimate Warrior, who gets a full musical entrance. The interesting thing here is that the camera guys ran backwards in case he ran to the ring but instead he just walked out after everyone else had been standing there. Knowing what happened to him less than two days later still makes my head spin. This is one of the better classes ever as it’s hard to argue against any of them going in, which isn’t always the case.

Medics check on Bryan’s arm.

We recap the Streak match. The video about the Streak being the lone constant over the last twenty three years is really odd when you think about it as nothing else has anywhere near that lifespan. Can any man break the streak? Heyman: “Obviously the answer to this question is no. But what about a beast?” That’s pretty much all you need to know. Heyman caps it off with “Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer, repeat. Eat, sleep, conquer the Streak.”

Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker

Undertaker’s theme this year is a coffin with the name of each victim, all of which are lit on fire. The latest victim is covered by smoke as luck would have it. Even Brock looks a bit shaken up by all this, but that might be due to his coffin opening up. Long staredown to start until Undertaker fires off right hands. That earns him a belly to belly overhead suplex and a clothesline to send him outside because Brock is awesome like that.

Undertaker comes back with a Stunner over the top and it’s time for more punching, followed by bending Brock’s arm around the rope. The arm goes into the post as well but Brock punches Old School down. That’s it for Undertaker’s control though as he fights back and takes it to the floor, setting up the apron legdrop. It’s been about 90% Undertaker so far. The chokeslam and F5 are both escaped but Brock avoids the running boot in the corner.

It’s time to go after the old man’s leg and the last thing you want to give Brock is a target. Or raw meat. Or a belt that a Samoan wants to take from him because it turns into a stupid looking tug of war. Brock slowly hammers him down and pounds away with right hands and knees in the corner. Now they head outside for another shot to Undertaker’s knee before he’s whipped hard into the barricade. Back in and Brock keeps hammering away as the fans are waiting on the big comeback before they hit the main event style.

Now Brock just starts punching him a lot until Undertaker catches him with the running DDT (a popular counter tonight). The running clothesline in the corner (what leg injury?) sets up Snake Eyes and the running boot, followed by a legdrop for two. The chokeslam (Heyman: “HE’S POISED!”) gets two and Undertaker looks deflated. Brock counters the tombstone into the F5 (way bigger reaction than the chokeslam) for two.

Lesnar slows things down and gets pulled into a surprise Hell’s Gate. That’s fine with Brock who lifts him up into a powerbomb to break the hold. Power like that is just scary and Brock is terrifying enough on his own. Undertaker throws it on again but Brock counters it exactly the same way. Why change what works? It’s Brock’s turn for a submission as he puts on the Kimura to make Undertaker scream. We get MMA Taker as he reverses into one of his own but Brock makes it to the ropes.

Brock fires off some shoulders in the corner but Undertaker gets a boot up. We go Old School but Undertaker falls into the F5 for two. Now it’s Brock’s turn to be shocked for a change. Two German suplexes rattle Undertaker again and Heyman shouts that Brock is going to make it 21-1. Brock hammers away in the corner but climbs to the middle rope, setting up something called a Last Ride but more like a weak spinebuster.

Undertaker is just spent at this point so he loads up the tombstone. Brock doesn’t quite get planted though as you can see St. Louis in the gap between his head and the mat, meaning the kickout doesn’t have much of an impact. There’s the sit up and another tombstone, but Brock reverses and muscles Undertaker into the third F5 for the pin to conquer the Streak.

Rating: D+. This is hard to watch for multiple reasons. First and foremost, the Streak ended. I’m not the biggest Undertaker fan, but knowing what was coming actually made this hard to sit through. I mean……the Streak just ended. It’s like telling a kid there’s no Santa Claus: you know it has to happen someday but you don’t want to ever actually do it.

The other reason this was hard to watch is the match pretty much sucked. Undertaker apparently had a concussion early in the match and barely remembers a lot of what happened here. That can cause some severe problems, but I can’t imagine that the match would have been much better had Undertaker been healthy throughout. At the end of the day, the guy is 49 years old and barely wrestles once a year. You can’t expect him to be able to do it every single year.

That brings me to my last point: how can you really expect him to win here? Brock is a monster and wrestles a lot more often than Undertaker, in addition to being thirteen years younger. How can you reasonably believe that Undertaker can win? That’s part of the thing that kills the fans here: the idea of the Undertaker is that one night a year, he’s immortal. This match proved that he was human and that’s a hard thing to admit after all those years of seeing him as a superhero. Lesnar has been a monster since, and this really is the start of something special. Granted no one knew that at the time.

Anyway, Heyman’s reaction is in perfect as even he’s stunned at what he just saw because all his hyperbole is proven correct. They leave as the audience is stunned. Undertaker finally sits up, albeit very slowly, and gets the big hero’s sendoff. He hasn’t been seen since and I’m not sure I want to see him in the ring again at this point. The reaction is even more saddening as the fans are just done at this point. I’ve heard the only thing to compare this to is Koloff beating Sammartino and it’s hard to disagree with that.

On top of that, Undertaker collapsed as soon as he went through the curtain and was sent to the hospital. Vince himself went with him and missed the end of the show. That’s scary stuff but how lucky were they that he didn’t collapse on the stage in front of all the thousands of people?

Wrestlemania XXXI ad.

Divas Title: Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

AJ Lee, Naomi, Aksana, Alicia Fox, Brie Bella, Cameron, Emma, Eva Marie, Layla, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Summer Rae, Tamina Snuka

All fourteen are in at once, one fall to a finish and AJ (only one with an entrance as the others came out during the XXXI video) is defending. Vickie gets in an evil laugh before we get going. AJ and her bodyguard Tamina are sent into the middle of the circle and the brawl is on. Something tells me I won’t be able to keep track of all this.

The Bellas “hit” a horrible gutbuster on Layla before Natalya tries a triple Sharpshooter on Alicia, Summer and Rosa at the same time. A quadruple suplex gets a quadruple near fall as Cameron’s top has broken. That earns her an Emma Lock as this is a total mess. We hit the parade of finishers until only the Bellas are left.

Instead of fighting, they hit an admittedly sweet looking double dive to take everyone out. It’s amazing how much easier they are to sit through when they don’t talk. They slug it out inside and the Rack Attack gets two on Brie. Back in for a parade of secondary finishers until Naomi breaks up the Superfly Splash by shoving Tamina to the floor. Natalya powerbombs Aksana to send Naomi down in a Tower of Doom, leaving AJ to hook the Black Widow on Naomi to retain.

Rating: D. Well what else were you expecting? There’s almost no way to make a huge mess like this work, especially when so many of the girls have no business inside a wrestling ring. AJ would go on to lose the title the next night to a debuting Paige, which I somehow called about two weeks out. That’s probably a lot better than having her debut here and win as part of this disaster, but it’s rather telling that the same girls are still on top of the division a year later.

Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan (that needed to happen tonight) when Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff come in. Piper reluctantly tells Hogan he’s doing a good job tonight but Paul says he’s tired of hearing about getting pinned at the first Wrestlemania. The losers want to fight now and here’s Mr. T. for the big staredown. Pat Patterson just happens to be here in a referee shirt but they all agree to bury the hatchet and have the most awkward handshakes in years.

Bruno Sammartino, Dusty Rhodes, Harley Race, Bob Backlund and Bret Hart (by far the loudest reaction) are at ringside.

WWE World Title: Randy Orton vs. Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Rev Theory (remember them?) play Orton to the ring. Orton is defending of course and Batista won the Royal Rumble to get here. Bryan can barely move that left shoulder and has to do a one armed YES point. After the big match intros, Bryan hits a quick running dropkick to the champion followed by the YES Kicks. Orton calmly goes to the arm and stomps away but Batista takes Randy down.

The Orton backbreaker drops Batista and Bryan gets knocked down to the floor. Batista and Orton head over to the announcers’ tables before Batista whips him into the barricade. Orton backdrops out of a Batista Bomb to send Batista into the steps before going after Bryan again. The champ starts going back and forth to send both challengers into the barricade before taking Batista back inside for two.

The knee drop gets two more as the fans chant for Bryan. That’s exactly what they get as well with a double missile dropkick putting down the shaved headed guys. Daniel kicks away at both of them but Orton grabs in him a high collar suplex for two. Big Dave kicks Orton down and stomps on Bryan in the corner to get the fans booing all over again. That’s fine with Daniel as he hits running dropkicks to both guys in the corner. That woke them up again and so did the top rope hurricanrana for two on Orton.

Batista comes back with a suplex to send Bryan outside but he goes up top for no logical reason other than to allow Orton to superplex him back down. Daniel adds a Swan Dive and puts Orton in the YES Lock but here are HHH and Stephanie to pull out the referee. Crooked referee Scott Armstrong comes in to count two off the Batista Bomb on Bryan. Bryan sends a charging Batista into the post and kicks Armstrong in the head before hitting a FLYING GOAT onto the Authority, including Stephanie. Just fire him right now. Plant a tie on him or something.

HHH is livid and pulls out the sledgehammer but Bryan takes it away and knocks HHH to the floor. Orton comes back in and cleans house, joining forces with Batista to beat Bryan up even more. They take the tape off his shoulder as the Authority is taken out, much to JBL’s chagrin. The announcers’ table is loaded up with Orton setting the steps next to it, drawing a CM Punk chant for the save. Instead they get a Batista Bomb into a jumping neckbreaker (called an RKO). The scary part here is that Orton landed back first on a monitor and took a long time to get up.

Batista is the only man left standing and it’s Lawler with the voice of common sense: “Throw one of them in the ring and cover them!” The old guys still get it. Medics come out to help Bryan as JBL joins Lawler’s school of thinking: “COVER BRYAN ALREADY!” Orton and Batista brawl in a heatless segment as people don’t accept that Bryan is done yet. The Elevated DDT off the apron gets a good gasp from the crowd, but Bryan getting off the stretcher gets a better reaction.

Orton immediately sends Bryan into the steps before throwing him back inside. Again he won’t cover though, allowing Batista to come back in and take the champ down. There’s the YES Lock to Batista but Orton is right back up for the save. Daniel is knocked to the floor by Batista’s spear and the RKO gets a VERY close two on Dave to get the fans back into it.

Another RKO is loaded up but Bryan comes back in with the running knee. Batista throws Bryan down but Orton kicks out at two. Another Batista Bomb puts Orton down but Bryan comes back in with the running knee and the YES Lock FINALLY makes Bryan champion, sending New Orleans into a frenzy. Cole dubs it the Miracle on Bourbon Street in a call I really like.

Rating: B. This needed to be five minutes shorter but my goodness they cranked up the emotions here. There was no other possible ending to this though and the fans ate up every single bit of it. The near falls on the finishers were great and I was totally buying into them as potential endings. Not a great match but exactly the way the show should have ended.

Confetti falls (and I got a piece which I still have) and a huge celebration finally ends the show.

Overall Rating: A-. Time has brought this show back down to earth a bit but it’s still incredibly fun. This was everything the fans could have wanted from Bryan (though not quite everything from Undertaker vs. Lesnar) and an incredibly emotional show. The wrestling here ranges from very good to mixed but the emotion is off the charts. That’s what matters at the end of the day and it was the perfect story being told. The show holds up almost completely and it’s still great and worth checking out. Bryan may never get back to the top again, but they can never take this night away from him and that’s not the worst prize.

Ratings Comparison

Usos vs. Real Americans vs. Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: A

Redo: A

Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena

Original: B

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Vickie Guerrero Divas Invitational

Original: D+

Redo: D

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton

Original: A-

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A-

The main event was too high but the show is still an instant classic.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/04/07/wrestlemania-xxx-oh-yeah-i-went-there/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Thunder
Date: November 4, 1999
Location: Cox Arena, San Diego, California
Attendance: 5,091
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Scott Hudson

It’s a taped show in the Russo Era, which is the kind of thing nightmares are made of. I’m not sure anyone wants to see what’s going on with this show but at least it’s only two hours instead of three and there are no tournament matches in sight. Maybe it’ll even make sense! Ok I got ahead of myself there. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Evan Karagias vs. Juventud Guerrera

This is the third shot at this match after having Bret and Sid interrupt the previous attempts. The fans aren’t pleased with Juvy so he fires off kicks at Evan, only to charge into a boot and a powerslam for two. Well we’re already closing in on the first match’s time. Juvy escapes a suplex but fails on a rollup attempt, setting up a double clothesline to put both guys down.

Back up and Evan chops away, only to duck his head and get caught by a DDT. Juvy again stops to pose for the crowd and walks into a gorilla press hot shot. Evan misses a Lionsault but is still able to crotch Juvy on the top. They slug it out until Norman Smiley of all people comes out to interrupt, meaning the match doesn’t end again.

Rating: C-. This could potentially be a running joke. Granted the joke would have a shelf life of about a month but there’s potential there. Unfortunately I don’t think that’s the plan and they just don’t care about the match and are using it as a backdrop for people to come out here and break the script for whatever they have to talk about. As usual, Russo has so much to do that he can’t fit it all into five hours of TV a week.

Norman asks Juvy (in Spanish) for a minute. Now, everyone knows that Norman is hardcore to the bone and is here to bring the Big Wiggle to the division. When you think of hardcore, you think of one man: NORman. Both cruiserweights beat him up but he eventually collapses, causing them to dropkick each other. With both guys down, IT’S WIGGLE TIME! Norman is WAY too talented for this but he’s hilarious in the role.

Shane Douglas thinks the Revolution should allow new members if someone good is available. Saturn says even NFL teams screw up in their first draft picks sometimes.

Sid, in red pants and a hat that covers about 25% of his hair, is told that there’s a change in booking tonight. His match: teaming with Saturn to face Rick Steiner and Chris Benoit. Oh that wacky Russo. Sid isn’t happy but he’ll do it.

Booker T. vs. Kaz Hayashi

Booker easily sends him into the corner to start but lets him out with a clean break. That Booker is a nice guy. A powerslam drops Hayashi but Booker poses too long (common problem tonight) and misses an elbow, allowing Kaz to fire off some low dropkicks. Why do I have a feeling that’s the extent of his offense in this match?

T. heads outside where Kaz teases a dive to make Booker duck, only to hit the slingshot dive on the real attempt. Sensing his brother being in trouble, Stevie comes over and pounds on Kaz and of course the referee is all fine with this. Back in and Booker nails a Rock Bottom, followed by the 110^th Street Slam and the missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was supposed to be a squash but it wound up being Harlem Heat having to team up to beat Kaz Hayashi. Booker really shouldn’t be having issues like these against someone as low level as this. It’s almost like they have no idea how to book someone in the midcard. Also, this is going to be the closest thing we have to a clean finish all night isn’t it?

The Filthy Animals steal Doug Dillinger’s wallet with Torrie offering a distraction. Again, we’re supposed to cheer for these guys right?

Rick Seiner says he and Sid will be the last men standing in the tag match tonight. Ok then.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Coach Buzz Stern

That’s Glacier if you’ve tried to block this from your memory. Coach actually takes over with a shoulder block and backbreaker to start as student Luther Biggs takes notes. That makes sense, as does the Animals taking his notebook. Hoodlums. Eddie nails a headscissors that sends Stern over to yell at the Animals, who promptly destroy him for about 30 seconds. Of course this doesn’t matter because WCW referees are worthless, including allowing Kidman to hit the BK Bomb to set up the frog splash for the pin. Comedy match.

Biggs gets beaten down as well and the Animals steal Stern’s shirt.

The challengers for the Tag Team Titles don’t seem to get along but are ready to win the belts. Their names: Berlyn and Curly Bill. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Rick Steiner warns Benoit that it’s going to be a long night. I reiterate: ok then.

Tournament recap.

The Revolution want to know why Sid is teaming with Saturn, but Sid just says he isn’t happy. Were they running really short tonight?

Gene interviews La Parka of all people, with La Parka speaking Spanish about making it big in the United States and facing Buff Bagwell. That’s pretty basic stuff, but the captioning is a huge rant about La Parka wearing his costume as a tribute to He-Man villain Skeletor because he has every episode on tape at his house and will defeat Bagwell tonight BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL! I know I rip on Russo a lot (and with good reason), but this was hilarious.

Buff Bagwell vs. La Parka

After a quick recap of what these two have been through so far, we see that Buff isn’t that into the match again. La Parka does his dance but throws in the Hogan hand to the ear to keep himself the most over unimportant luchador on the roster. An armdrag puts Buff down and they take more time to play to the crowd. After a lot of strutting from both men, La Parka slams him down a few times.

Buff tries to get the fans to cheer for La Parka, but the masked man gets ticked off. He tells Buff to come after him so Bagwell stomps away in the corner before kneeling in the middle of the ring so La Parka can kick him like he did on Nitro a few weeks back. This time though Buff ducks and stomps away, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. La Parka is rapidly becoming a favorite of mine, but this Buff storyline is killing whatever interest anyone else can dig up. It’s all this “haha we’re so smart that we’re going to expose the business to make the sheep keep watching”, even though the shows are getting almost unwatchable at times. But hey, people are talking! They’re laughing and calling this show a disaster and it’s killing any future potential, but they’re talking!

Kidman is too preoccupied with Torrie being back to worry about defending the titles tonight. Usually that line would make me roll my eyes, but it’s Berlyn and Curly Bill. Come on.

Tag Team Titles: Konnan/Kidman vs. Berlyn/Curly Bill

Guess who’s defending. The intros take forever as all of the Animals have to jabber on like all those young 90s kids talked. I’ll give them this on their entrances: going from rap to opera to country is quite the variety. Berlyn fires off a bunch of strikes at Kidman to start but Kidman ducks under some clotheslines and gets two off a cross body. A powerslam puts Kidman down but Berlyn is dumb enough to try a powerbomb.

Kidman has been practicing though as he punches down instead of breaking it up with the usual faceplant. Off to Konnan for his finishing sequence but he whips Berlyn into the ropes instead of going for the Tequila Sunrise, earning him a clothesline. Off to Bill who CLEANS HOUSE (!) but quickly wants the tag. That’s not good with Berlyn, who knocks him out with the loaded glove, setting up the Tequila Sunrise.

Rating: D-. So the Neo Nazi punched out the black cowboy so the Spanish speaker and his fellow thieves can retain their titles. Which part of that makes you scratch your head? That’s a serious question actually as I’m really curious to see which one of them is the most bizarre. This is another stupid idea that just gets thrown out there for surprise value.

The Animals stomp Bill because they’re good guys like that.

Gene brings out Lash Leroux, who says he doesn’t trust Disco as far as he can throw his granddaddy’s mule. Disco has his Cajunweight title and Lash is coming for it.

After a break, Gene brings out Van Hammer, who is the rumored newest member of the Revolution. “For the Revolution, I’ll be a revelation.” No you won’t be. You suck too much.

Silver King vs. Lash Leroux

Feeling out process to start until Leroux gets taken down with a drop toehold. A standing Harlem Hangover gets two for King before Lash rolls under a spinwheel kick to send King down. It’s time for the dance into the splits into a clothesline before they head outside where King whips him hard into the steps. Back in and Leroux comes right back with a high cross body, only to get kicked HARD in the head to put him down again.

King goes to the ropes for something like a springboard Whisper in the Wind splash for two. They head outside one more time and now it’s King being sent into the barricade. Back in again and Lash gets taken down by another drop toehold but he avoids something like a Lionsault. A quick dropkick sets up the Whiplash for the pin.

Rating: C-. When did Silver King get this good at high flying? He was busting out some pretty insane stuff out there despite looking like a little butter ball. Lash isn’t bad but he really doesn’t have a character outside of being Cajun, and you can only rely on that accent for so long.

Benoit says Malenko is his prey now and he’ll fight Sid and Steiner by himself if he has to.

Dean Malenko vs. Van Hammer

Hudson says three fourths of the Revolution is here. I’d assume he means Benoit is the missing link because WCW announcers are stupid. Hammer says he should be in the Revolution and says they can do this the easy way or the hard way. Dean decks him for general purposes and goes after the knee. Hammer limps around but actually catches Dean in a powerslam. He can’t follow up though because of his knee and Dean nails him with a flying clothesline.

Since you need help with Van Hammer, Saturn gets in a knee shot of his own. Back up and Dean misses a charge, setting up a quick Flashback for two. We hit the cobra clutch but of course there’s a ref bump (that should be the center square on Russo Bingo so far), allowing the rest of the team to crotch Hammer on the post. The Cloverleaf makes Hammer tap.

Rating: D. Gah they can’t just let a match go simply can they? At some point the fans are going to catch on to all the ref bumps (by at some point I mean by the second one) and stop caring. Then again one of the big stories right now is THIS IS ALL FAKE AND I HATE THE BOOKING so I don’t think insulting their intelligence is all that big of a priority.

Video showing how much the Powers That Be have been screwing with lower midcard guys and Madusa. This doesn’t make the whole thing any better.

Battle Royal

Steve Regal, Dave Taylor, Chris Adams, Jerry Flynn, Prince Iaukea, Scotty Riggs, El Dandy, Chavo Guerrero

E freaking gads man. Apparently this is an Opportunity Knocks battle royal and the seven non-winners are on the bubble for roster spots and the winner gets a golden opportunity on Nitro. Why do I have a feeling that’s code for getting squashed by Goldberg or getting nothing because WCW won’t remember it?

Oh and just because we need one, Hudson says this isn’t a good time “to go up north.” This is from November 1999. The WWF had been a national promotion for what……at least twelve years now? And yes I get that it’s their headquarters but it’s another stupid insider line that most fans won’t get and another reason why WCW is stupid.

It’s a huge brawl to start with El Dandy being thrown out just after the bell. The Brits get in a fight (it’s expensive living in England) and Chavo takes advantage by knocking out Adams. Regal responds by kicking him low before Riggs, Flynn and Iaukea are all out in a hurry, leaving us with Regal, Taylor and Guerrero. The Brits get together but Taylor clotheslines Regal by mistake but gets eliminated anyway. A quick catapult sends Regal out to give Chavo the win as the announcers say there are seven roster spots open.

Rating: F. I don’t often do this, but I’m going to give a spoiler for this coming Nitro: Chavo wins nothing. He goes into the Powers That Be’s office and asks for his opportunity. Russo says that the opportunity for Chavo is selling Amway and throws him out. I knew something like that was going to happen as soon as this match started not because I read a spoiler, but because that’s how WCW works these days. Total waste of time and a nothing match.

Rick and Sid talk about doing the finger poke ending. That’s referenced and used WAY too often.

Sid Vicious/Perry Saturn vs. Chris Benoit/Rick Steiner

Let’s get this over with. Asya and Saturn come out, with Saturn saying that’s one fourth of the team. If Asya counts as a member, it’s one half. If Asya doesn’t count as a member, it’s one third. Again, WCW announcers are all stupid. It’s in their contracts. Here’s the opening of the match: Rick drops down for a cover but small packages Sid for two (just like Hall did on Monday). Sid responds by powerbombing him (hopefully ending their friendship) and leaving, meaning it’s Saturn vs. Benoit. Somehow this match might now suck!

They slug it out in the corner with Benoit getting the better of it with chops and a back elbow to stop a running Saturn. A backbreaker gets two on Saturn but he pops back up with a t-bone suplex. Benoit has to raise his knees to block a Lionsault and Rick gets on the apron for a tag.

Thankfully Benoit is a wrestling fan and doesn’t let him in….and Steiner blasts him with a clothesline because WE NEED RICK STEINER IN OUR LIVES! Steiner suplexes Saturn too, just so we know he’s way better than both guys, and leaves. The Crossface doesn’t work so Benoit rolls some Germans instead. The Swan Dive misses but Malenko comes in for the DQ anyway.

Rating: C. This was one of the biggest messes I’ve seen in a good while but it was mostly Benoit vs. Saturn for four minutes so I can’t complain. Yet again we have more overbooking because Russo is so sure we need it, meaning we get nonsense like Sid getting a paycheck for 45 seconds of “work” and Rick Steiner laying out everyone because he’s Rick Steiner and therefore has to be dominant. Oh geez we’re getting Sid vs. Steiner now aren’t we?

The Filthy Animals run in to attack everyone to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was actually a pretty watchable show when they let the wrestlers wrestle. They kept things moving for the most part which is the best thing they could do on a show like this. It’s kind of nice to have something almost completely unrelated from the title tournament stuff, but it’s kind of terrifying that this was their second best batch of ideas.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 27, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

We’re finally back in America after a pretty awesome UK tour and the main story is Kurt Angle defeating Lashley to win the World Title. As for tonight, the big story is the return of Jeff Hardy from his annual “I can’t go to Europe” leave for a showdown inside a cage against James Storm. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Storm shoving Hardy off the cage a few weeks ago to put him out of action.

Here are Storm and Khoya for a chat to get things going. Storm says tonight is supposed to be about Hardy’s revenge but Hardy isn’t here. A few weeks back, Storm did exactly what he said he was going to do when he put out Jeff and then last week he did the same to Matt. Jeff Hardy is known for diving off cages so Storm just tried to help him. The fans chant for Hardy so Storm pulls out a watermelon and says this is Hardy before throwing it over the cage and out to the floor.

This brings out Jeff who says Storm did what no one else could do and put him out for a bit, but Jeff is still standing. He wants to start now, but here’s Manik to get in a cheap shot and lay Hardy out. Storm orders Manik to break his arm but Jeff hits a twisting Stunner to put Manik down. This brings out Abyss to send Jeff into the cage but Hardy takes the chair away from Abyss and lays him out. Jeff asks someone to lower the roof of the cage, which happens to be full of weapons. The match is later tonight.

We look at Austin Aries getting his Feast or Fired briefcase back, allowing Spud to win the X-Division Title.

The BDC says they can’t replace someone (meaning Joe) but MVP says it’s time for Low Ki to get the X-Division Title back tonight.

Ad for the Sting DVD set. How long has it been since they had a DVD release?

Storm sends Khoya to get rid of Jeff Hardy.

X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Rockstar Spud

Rematch from last week’s “match”. I’m not the biggest Low Ki fan so hopefully this doesn’t end Spud’s hot streak. It’s a slow start until Ki takes him down to the mat for a hard kick to the ribs. Spud’s chops have no effect but some right hands do. That’s the extent of his offense though as Spud gets dropped again and keeps shaking his head. A double stomp knocks Spud silly and he has to beat a ten count back up.

Back up and Spud snaps off some left hands followed by a dropkick as he tries to speed things up. He plants Ki with a running DDT and takes off the bowtie. Cue MVP and King for distractions to break up the Underdog, but Drew Galloway distracts them, allowing Spud to small Low Ki for the pin at 5:11.

Rating: D. Spud got beaten up for most of the match here before a fluke ending. I’ve never been a fan of booking that makes the champion look weak and that’s exactly how Spud came off. He doesn’t have the highest stature in the first place and this isn’t the best way for him to look stronger. Drew vs. the BDC isn’t the most interesting feud in the world either.

Post break the BDC is still in the ring (oh joy) to rant about Galloway and threaten to send him to the hospital. MVP wants Drew out here right now and that’s exactly what he gets. Drew admits that he’s both dumb and crazy because he’s still here after King hit him with a pipe. He wants to know who will stand up with him tonight and asks the fans if they’re tired of the BDC.

Drew says they have a rising going on right now but King turns it into a Braveheart analogy. Ki wants Low Ki right now and it’s on, with two guys (the recently released Camacho and indy wrestler Shaun Ricker) jumping in from the crowd for a three on three brawl. The newly named Rising clear the ring. Great. ANOTHER faction.

Video on Kong wanting to take Taryn Terrell’s Knockout Title.

The BDC is ready to call someone to replace Joe.

Brooke vs. Awesome Kong

Let the squashing begin. Brooke fires off kicks to the leg but gets run over by a standing clothesline. A front slam drops Brooke again before King stands on her hair. Brooke even tries to fight back from the mat but her forearms have no effect. Kong shrugs off some clotheslines but the Awesome Bomb is countered (Kidman!) into a faceplant. A top rope elbow gets two on Kong but she comes back with a chokeslam and the Implant Buster for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D+. I’m glad that they’re back to having Brooke just be eye candy instead of having her do WACKY COMEDY with Robbie E. At least this match made Kong look dominant instead of having her lose in a triple threat, even though that’s the calling card of the Knockouts division.

Kong hits another Implant Buster and gets a table from under the ring. Taryn comes in to hammer on Kong, eventually putting her down with a missile dropkick and low bridging her to the floor. Kong shrugs all that off though and powerbombs Terrell through the table.

Video on Lashley vs. Angle from last week.

Aries implies he’s cashing in tonight.

Jeff Hardy is talking about the match tonight when Khoya comes in. Hardy fights him off and finds a conveniently placed ladder to get in even more damage. Khoya tries to get up so Jeff breaks bottles over his face. That’s a bit excessive.

Here’s Kurt Angle for his championship celebration. He says this is title #14 (it’s still a huge stretch Kurt) but this one is different. Kurt talks about having to work this much harder to get here and it’s his proudest moment thus far. Cue Ethan Carter III (FINALLY) to talk about how Angle has inspired everyone in the back, even him.

Angle did the impossible last week when he beat Lashley, but it seems impossible to go 18 months undefeated and beat every TNA Hall of Famer (minus D-Von but who cares about him anyway). Angle doesn’t buy it but here’s Roode to interrupt as well. He wants his rematch for the title and Angle doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. Angle deserves this moment but it’s just a moment.

This brings out Eric Young (of freaking course) to say he took the title from Bobby Roode because he’s always been better than Bobby. Young says the title goes through him but Austin Aries comes out carrying the briefcase. After pointing out that Carter hasn’t won the title, he opens the briefcase and reveals a bottle of champagne. The question is who the toast is for. Angle says he’ll fight anyone anywhere anytime. As he goes to leave, Lashley comes out to say it’s his rematch time. That’s fine with Angle but a huge brawl breaks out with all the people in the ring. We’re still not done because Mr. Anderson comes out to join in.

Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson/Bobby Roode vs. Ethan Carter III/Eric Young/Tyrus

Joined in progress after a break with Carter in trouble. Roode catapults Carter into a forearm from Aries for two before it’s off to Anderson to stay on the arm. Off to Tyrus vs. Roode with the big man suplexing Bobby down. Off to Carter to choke on the ropes before putting on a chinlock. Young can’t get the piledriver as Roode counters with a backdrop and makes the hot tag to Aries.

Everything breaks down with Tyrus nailing Aries with a clothesline but Anderson takes out the big man. Aries forearms Carter to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Young posts Anderson. Back in and Roode spinebusters Young down, setting up the 450 but Aries only hits mat. He also bangs up his knee, allowing Young to slap on a Figure Four for the submission at 7:26.

Rating: C-. This match was a good example of a lot of TNA’s problems in a single match: too many people involved in a story and stuff happening WAY too fast. Set this up for next week’s main event instead of just throwing everything together at once. I like the idea of everyone wanting the belt as it’s what wrestling is built on, but let things breathe a bit and build the anticipation.

Here’s Bram to call Magnus a coward over and over. Magnus has been sending his old lady out here to fight his battles, but it makes sense as she’s more of a man than he’ll ever be. A mention of Magnus’ son is enough to bring Magnus himself out to say this is about to become more than anyone can handle. Bram promises to make Mickie cry, but she says they’ll be tears of joy when Bram is beaten all around the Impact Zone.

That’s what Bram wanted to hear, because he thinks Mickie will have to go back to an empty house. Don’t worry though because his door is always open. It’s on now but a low blow puts Magnus down. Bram grabs Mickie and tries to make her kiss his boot before just trying to kiss her instead.

Magnus gets back up and suplexes him down before beating Bram with that wrench Bram carries. They go to leave but Mickie has to get in some shots of her own. This is still an awesome story and the promos are on fire. It also helps that it’s something relatable. Instead of a cult leader messing with a psychedelic daredevil, it’s a man defending his family.

Angle says he beat Lashley once but beating him again will be tough. He won’t be intimidated though.

James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy

Inside the cage with weapons and Storm blasts him with a trashcan before the bell. Hardy quickly fights back and sends him into some buckles. Poetry in Motion with a chair connects once but misses the second time to give Storm control again. Back with Matthews telling us which guy is which and recapping the events that set this up in about ten seconds. I miss basic announcing like that and it’s so refreshing to hear it again. Storm tells the fans to shut up and gets taken down by a running clothesline. The Swanton hits knees though and the Eye of the Storm gets two.

Closing Time into a Backstabber sets up the Last Call but Storm wants the cowbell. Hardy takes it away and hits Storm with it, setting up the Swanton for two. Back up and Storm goes up top so Jeff grabs the top of the cage for some dropkicks into a hurricanrana for another near fall. They’re just going spot to spot at this point. Some trashcan lid shots to the head and a cowbell shot look to set up the Swanton but Jeff monkey bars across the top into a swinging Vader Bomb (minus the pumping) for the pin at 14:55.

Rating: C+. Fun match but there are some issues here, starting with the weapons. A single moment a few weeks ago really doesn’t warrant a gimmick cage match in the first match back for Jeff. Where is this feud supposed to go? That’s one of TNA’s long running issues: knowing how to end a feud. This is probably going to continue for weeks after the big match happened early on. Still though, it was a fun match, assuming you can ignore the parts that didn’t need to be there.

After a preview for next week, we get a nice In Memory Of graphic for Perro Aguayo Jr. WWE didn’t do that.

Overall Rating: C. This show was a great example of one of TNA’s major problems flaring up again: they don’t know how to calm down and let things breathe. Look at earlier: we have three stables, a gimmick cage match, a falls count anywhere match next week, and a World Title match next week. That kind of stuff should fill up six weeks, not two shows. Let the show take its time instead of firing off everything at once and see how much better the builds are. It’s a good show this week with Magnus and Bram as the highlights, but these shows wear me out more often than not and that’s more like Raw than anything else.

Results

Rockstar Spud b. Low Ki – Small package

Awesome Kong b. Brooke – Implant Buster

Eric Young/Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Mr. Anderson – Figure four to Aries

Jeff Hardy b. James Storm – Swinging splash from the roof of the cage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Wrestlemania XXIX
Date: April 7, 2013
Location: MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 80,676
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s hard to believe this show was almost a year ago. The main event is of course Rock vs. Cena II in the sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. Other than that we have CM Punk challenging the Streak and HHH vs. Brock Lesnar in another sequel that not a lot of people wanted to see. I wasn’t too hot on this show live but Wrestlemania is always worth checking out. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett is defending. Miz backflips out of an early belly to back suplex attempt and gets two off a fast rollup. He tries to jump over Barrett in the corner though and gets kicked in the ribs to give the champion control. Barrett: “How awesome is he now?” Miz is laid on the top rope and a running knee to his ribs gets two. Barrett loads up his boot to the face with Miz in the ropes but Miz gets his own foot up instead.

The Reality Check gets two for Miz but both guys escape finishers. Winds of Change gets a close two for Wade but Miz ducks the Bull Hammer and hooks the Figure Four. Barrett is quickly into the ropes though and pops up with Wasteland for two. Miz picks the leg and takes Barrett to the mat for the Figure Four and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This was perfectly fine as they wanted to fire the fans up before the show got started. It’s amazing how far these two have fallen in the last year as Miz is floundering even more and Barrett is a one note character. This result wouldn’t mean anything as Barrett got the title match the very next night.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie talks about Hurricane Sandy hitting New Jersey back in October and destroying a lot of the Jersey Shore. But the people of New Jersey fought back and rose up along with New York because they’re unbreakable and unstoppable.

The opening video talks about moments that change the world forever and how they make time stand still.

I still like the female part of that I’m Coming Home song.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/Big Show vs. Shield

The three guys had been having issues with Shield for months now. At this point, Shield still hasn’t lost a six man tag and Big Show isn’t trustworthy but he’s a necessary ally. Basically everyone thought Orton was going to be the one to turn on his partners here though. Thankfully Shield doesn’t come from the top of the stadium this time. Reigns starts with Sheamus and they slug it out in the corner. The cameras are all over the place as they keep switching angles.

A running ax handle puts Reigns down and a clothesline is good for one. Orton comes in and drops a knee before hitting the Garvin Stomp. Rollins comes in but walks into a dropkick followed by ten right hands in the corner. The fans are WAY into this so far. Back to Sheamus who gets his knee dropkicked out, allowing Ambrose to come in for some fast stomping. The fans are even more into Ambrose but he walks into a powerslam for two. Sheamus goes to tag Orton but Big Show tags himself in instead.

Show rips the vest off Ambrose for the chop in the corner but Dean tries a chop of his own. That just makes Big Show mad so he hits ten straight chops. Dean dropkicks Big Show in the knee just like Sheamus got earlier and it’s back to Rollins who tries to keep Big Show down. Shield starts their fast tags as Cole says they’re like a swarm of hornets. Rollins hits some running knees to the head for two before it’s back to Reigns for a chinlock. Show suplexes his way to freedom but Rollins knocks Orton to the floor.

The giant backdrops Rollins from his knees and the hot tag brings in Sheamus. The Irishman rips the vest off of Rollins for the ten forearms. Ambrose gets a tag and is immediately caught in the ten forearms as well. There’s the rolling fireman’s carry to Ambrose and another one to Rollins who lands on Dean. Reigns pulls Sheamus outside though and the double teaming begins.

Orton is whipped into Rollins to put both guys down but Shield throws Rollins back inside. The Triple Bomb to Sheamus is broken up by a Big Show spear in a nice visual and everyone is down. Show reaches out for a tag but Orton takes it himself, ticking Big Show off. Randy loads up the RKO on Ambrose but has to catch a springboarding Rollins in an RKO. Reigns comes in with the spear though and puts Dean on top for the pin as Big Show watches from the apron.

Rating: C+. It’s amazing that Shield is actually still together a year later and have become even more dominant. I thought they would win the match coming into this and I’m glad the first loss wasn’t here at Wrestlemania. The match wasn’t bad but it didn’t have the time or the near falls that make most Shield matches awesome. Still though, good opener and Big Show was somewhat justified in his actions.

Big Show yells at Orton post match and knocks out both of his partners.

Music video on Rock vs. Cena II with the theme of legacy vs. redemption.

Snooki is here.

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

This is a simple idea: how big of a guy can Ryback Shell Shock? Henry also choked Ryback during a bench press challenge a few weeks earlier. Ryback was on fire a few months before this but has fallen through the floor in the time since. They stare each other down to start before Ryback wins an early slugout. Some clotheslines put Henry against the ropes but he runs Ryback over to a big pop. A powerslam gets two for Henry and we get a Sexual Chocolate chant.

Ryback can’t suplex him but Mark lifts Ryback up and places him on the apron for a ram into the buckle. Back in and Henry pounds on the spine before we hit the bearhug. Ryback is thrown outside but he dives back inside at two. The bearhug goes on again but Ryback fights out and drives Mark into the corner. There’s the Meat Hook and Ryback easily picks Mark up for the Shell Shock, drawing Ryback’s first pop of the match. Henry grabs the ropes though and falls onto Ryback for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing but a slow power match here though the Shell Shock attempt looked good. The booking still doesn’t make sense to me as Henry would challenge Cena to a title match tomorrow night before Ryback closed the show by turning heel and getting the title shot on PPV. Why not have Ryback win here, have Henry answer the open challenge, and THEN have Ryback go after Cena, saying Henry almost beat Cena (he did) so imagine what Ryback could do. The whole thing was backwards. Anyway the match wasn’t great and they only kind of did the Shell Shock, which was the whole point of the thing.

Post match Henry goes back in to stomp on Ryback some more but the Big Guy fights back and Shell Shocks Henry. Again, why not have that be the ending?

The announcers play with the new WWE action figures. JBL beats up the Rey Mysterio toy in some nice continuity.

Video on the WWE partnering with the Special Olympics.

Some Special Olympians are here with Stephanie McMahon and Chris Christie.

Tag Team Titles: HELL NO vs. Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston

This is Langston’s in ring debut and his team is challenging. AJ is with them as well and Dolph is Mr. Money in the Bank. Bryan’s beard is only a foot or so long here. We get a nice bit of continuity to start with Ziggler kissing AJ on the apron after the bell, allowing Bryan to kick him in the head for a close two. The YES Kicks have Ziggler in trouble but he dives to the corner after ducking the big one. Both power guys come in now and it’s Kane taking over with right hands to the face, only to be caught in a series of backbreakers.

Langston runs Kane over and it’s back to Ziggler who gets two off a dropkick. Dolph doesn’t stay in long as he tags Big E. back in, only to have him get caught by a running DDT. Now it’s already back to Ziggler who walks into a side slam. Kane misses the top rope clothesline but Ziggler almost entirely botches the Fameasser, meaning it’s only good for two. A hard clothesline drops Ziggler but Big E. breaks it up at the last second. Langston nails the Big Ending but Bryan takes him to the floor. AJ throws in the briefcase but misses the big show, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam, setting up Bryan’s Swan Dive to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. This was more short than anything else. They seemed to be teasing leaving Ziggler fresh so he could cash in later which people were expecting like the birth of a child at this point. HELL NO was a good team and a good stepping stone for Bryan to the main event scene in the coming months.

Make-A-Wish video starring John Cena.

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

This is the dancing feud so Fandango has a full dance troupe with his original brunette dance partner, soon to be replaced by Summer Rae. It’s also Fandango’s in ring debut under this name. Fandango dances to start but is quickly taken down to the mat by Jericho. A hard slap sends the dancer to the floor before Jericho brings him back inside and hammers away in the corner. The fans are entirely behind the Canadian here.

Fandango jumps over him in the corner but walks into the Codebreaker to send him out to the floor. A hard baseball slide drops Fandango again and a BIG dive off the top knocks him to the floor. Back in and Jericho slaps him in the face but Fandango enziguris Jericho down to break up the springboard dropkick. Fandango stomps away before putting on a chinlock as Jericho’s forehead is cut open.

Jericho fights up and runs Fandango over with some shoulders before hitting a top rope dropkick. A Thesz Press of all things drops Fandango and there’s an enziguri to make up for earlier. Fandango sends him shoulder first into the post to take over again and the guillotine legdrop gets two.

Back up and Jericho counters a dropkick into a Walls attempt but Fandango kicks away. He goes up again but Jericho shakes the ropes to bring him down. A superplex is countered by a series of headbutts, only to have Jericho avoid another legdrop attempt. The Lionsault connects but Jericho tweaks his knee, allowing Fandango to small package him for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad for the most part and I’m not sure I can argue against it being the biggest upset in Wrestlemania history. Fandango may have wrestled as Johnny Curtis before but this was his debut as the character, making it a big deal to have him win here. Jericho has always been great at making people look good and that’s exactly what he did here.

We look back at the pre-show match with Miz winning the Intercontinental Title.

Another video on Rock vs. Cena, this time focusing on Rock and his fans. By this I mean fans saying Rock’s catchphrases.

We get a video of classic Wrestlemania moments set to the song playing in the Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed fight in the first Rocky movie. This leads into a Sean Combs medley.

We recap Del Rio vs. Swagger. It’s a basic story: Del Rio is from Mexico and Swagger’s new manager Zeb Colter is very anti-foreigner. He’s as close to a white supremacist as you’ll get in modern WWE and rants about how evil foreigners are crippling America. The government won’t do anything about it so Jack Swagger will instead. He won the Elimination Chamber to earn the title shot here and has injured Ricardo’s ankle coming into the match.

Del Rio had turned face late last year and was on a roll as champion. He was suddenly a patriot who loved America but was also proud of being from Mexico. The character worked very well and his matches got about a hundred times better. Even I was digging Del Rio around this time while I’m not generally a good fan.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.

Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.

The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.

This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.

WWE supports the National Guard.

We recap Undertaker vs. CM Punk. As usual, Punk is trying to break the Streak but this time there’s an added caveat. Undertaker’s long term manager Paul Bearer recently passed away and Punk interrupted Undertaker’s tribute to him to promise to break the Streak. He even stole Bearer’s Urn and tossed it around like a football before dropping it on the concrete.

CM Punk vs. Undertaker

Living Colour plays Punk to the ring and Heyman is still at his side here. As always, Undertaker’s entrance is just freaking cool. Punk slaps him in the face to start and fires off forearms in the corner. Undertaker misses another big right hand and gets slapped in the face, so this time he just kicks Punk in the face. Punk is thrown out to the floor and into the timekeeper’s area where Undertaker nails him in the head again. The Dead Man loads up the announce table rams Punk into the post before being thrown back inside.

There’s a right hand to the head as the dueling chants begin. Taker drops the leg on the apron before driving his shoulder into Punk’s to set up Old School. Punk pulls him down off the top rope with an armdrag though and starts ramming elbows into Undertaker’s head. In something I can’t remember seeing from anyone else, Punk hits Old School to Undertaker. You can see how much he’s loving this and the facials are making it so much better.

Punk nails a Russian legsweep and cranks on Undertaker’s right arm. That goes nowhere as Undertaker puts him into the corner and hammers away but hits his own knee on a charge. A baseball slide puts Undertaker on the floor and Punk drops a top rope ax handle (with the finger poke of course). Back in and Punk gets two off a neckbreaker but Undertaker comes back with right hands. A high kick gets two for Punk as Heyman shouts about CM getting more and more momentum.

We hit the chinlock on the taller guy but Taker quickly fights up, only to charge into a boot to the face. Punk tries another Old School but crotches himself on the top rope. A big right hand puts Punk on the floor but Heyman gets on the apron to block the Taker Dive. The distraction lets Punk hit another neckbreaker for two. Punk nails the running knee in the corner followed by the Macho Elbow for another near fall. Taker escapes a GTS attempt and plants Punk with a chokeslam for two of his own.

A big series of right hands has Punk covering up in the corner and it’s the snake eyes and big boot combo but Punk leg lariats Undertaker down to block the boot. The dueling chants pick up again before Punk sends Taker back to the floor. An uppercut slows Punk down but he’s able to escape a Last Ride through the table. He kicks Undertaker in the head to set up the Macho Elbow onto the table, which doesn’t break. That always looks sick.

Both guys are down and Punk looks to have injured his leg. Punk is able to get back inside and we tease a countout until Undertaker dives back in at nine. Back in and Undertaker tries Hell’s Gate but can’t quite get it on. Punk flips over for two and hooks the Anaconda Vice. Undertaker’s shoulders stay down for two but he sits up and stares Punk in the eyes for a great counter.

The chokeslam is countered into the GTS but Taker bounces into the ropes and hits the Tombstone for a very close two. They slug it out but Punk’s shots have no effect. Taker loads up the chokeslam but Punk shoves the referee down. Heyman distracts Undertaker but Punk injures his knee by kicking Undertaker in the ribs. The Last Ride is countered by an urn shot for another close two. The GTS is countered into a Tombstone which is countered into a GTS which is countered into a Tombstone to make Undertaker 21-0.

Rating: B. I liked the match but it’s still not as good as it’s made out to be. The urn to the head into the Undertaker cover was done better at Wrestlemania X7 and I never bought Punk’s covers as serious threats. It’s still a good match and I was into it more than the match at Wrestlemania 27, but it’s still not Punk getting inches away from breaking the Streak like it’s been made out to be.

Undertaker picks up the Urn for a nice tribute to Bearer.

Ad for the Mick Foley DVD.

Video on Cena, focusing on redemption.

Michelle Beadle is here.

We recap HHH vs. Brock Lesnar. They started feuding the night after Extreme Rules 2012 when Lesnar broke HHH’s arm, setting up a match at Summerslam. Brock beat HHH by breaking his arm again and HHH thought about walking away. However, Lesnar attacked Vince and put him in the hospital. This fired up HHH enough to want a rematch here at Wrestlemania on the grandest stage of them all. Brock also broke Shawn Michaels’ arm and you know that’s too far for HHH.

It’s No DQ and if HHH loses he has to retire. This is of course completely different from the no holds barred match at Summerslam. From what I remember, a grand total of no one wanted to see a rematch but it’s HHH at Wrestlemania so you knew it had to happen. The stipulations dropped the interest even further.

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Shawn and Heyman are in the respective corners. As always, Brock looks nothing short of terrifying. HHH has powder all over himself as he comes out through a skull entrance. They slug it out to start and of course HHH gets the better of it. Remember when Brock just destroyed Cena and Big Show with right hands? Forget that, because they’re not HHH. A knee to the ribs finally puts Lesnar in control but they fall out to the floor. Lesnar is sent into the barricade and then into the announce table as HHH is dominating in the first minute.

Brock comes back with a chair but misses a swing and hits the steps. They head into the crowd with HHH clotheslining him back to ringside. Back in and HHH blocks the chair shot with a running knee before throwing Brock back to the floor. Brock goes head first into the steps but comes right back with an overhead belly to belly. There is a MASSIVE bruise on Brock’s left pectoral. Shawn is looking concerned as Brock suplexes HHH through the announce table and roars.

Another overhead belly to belly on to the remnants of the table have HHH reeling. Back in and Brock stomps away in the corner before charging into a boot. Not that it matters as he comes right back with a third belly to belly for two. HHH tries to elbow out of a German but gets thrown down again with ease. Another German gets two but HHH fires off right hands, only to be whipped over the corner and out to the floor.

Brock glares at Shawn long enough for HHH to come back with a big running clothesline. Another clothesline puts Brock in the timekeeper’s area and there’s a big chair shot to his back. Back in and Brock snaps off another German for two before knocking Shawn off the apron with a big right hand. Trips comes back again with a spinebuster because he’s capable of going move for move with Brock Lesnar. A Pedigree is countered into an F5 attempt but Brock lets go to avoid a superkick from Shawn. It’s Michaels taking the F5 instead, only to have Lesnar take the Pedigree for two.

The sledgehammer is brought in but Brock ducks the shot and takes a massive F5 for two. They head outside again with HHH being whipped hard into the steps. The steps bounce off HHH’s head before Brock throws them into the ring for some fun. Another shot with the steps is good for two as the fans aren’t really responding to a lot of these near falls. Even Heyman says that’s enough but HHH slaps Brock in the face.

A slugout (won by HHH of course) is countered into the Kimura but HHH drives him into the corner for the break. The same hold is countered the same way before Brock puts him on the middle rope to slap the hold on again. HHH lifts Brock into the air and puts him down with another spinebuster to break. Brock misses a charge into the post and HHH hits a hard low blow to put both guys down. HHH crushes the arm against the post with a chair as

Shawn is laid against the barricade with his head up watching. Another chair shot to the arm crushes it against the steps and HHH puts on a Kimura of his own. Heyman tries to interfere but walks into a superkick. Brock finally powers up and slams HHH down onto the steps for another break. HHH grabs the hold again and gets slammed down onto the steps one more time. There’s a third Kimura to Brock but he plants lifts HHH into the air, only to be countered into a DDT on the steps. A sledgehammer to the face sets up the Pedigree on the steps for the pin.

Rating: B. As mentioned earlier, the match was good but the interest just wasn’t there. The times when HHH was able to go punch for punch with Lesnar were just ridiculous but we live in HHH’s WWE anymore. At least he didn’t make Lesnar submit to an MMA hold and Lesnar got to break some stuff. The match is certainly entertaining and I can live with HHH winning at Wrestlemania, but they had to keep it going one more match as a result which was pure overkill.

Hall of Fame time. This year’s class includes Mick Foley, Trish Stratus, Bob Backlund, Booker T, Donald Trump and of course Bruno Sammartino.

Wrestlemania XXX is in New Orleans.

The new attendance record: 80,676.

WWE Championship: John Cena vs. The Rock

Twice in a lifetime. Rock is of course the crowd favorite and defending. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a lot of time to work with here. A hard shoulder puts Rock down before they do the exact same sequence with the roles reversed. Rock grabs a second headlock before throwing him down with a hiptoss. Cena bails for a bit before taking over with right hands and a hard whip into the corner.

The fans are entirely behind Rock here as he comes back with more right hands and a hard whip of his own. More mirroring of the other. Some shots to the chest have Cena in trouble but he comes back with a clothesline followed by a chinlock. Back up and a belly to belly gets two on Rock before we’re back in the hold again. Rock counters into a sleeper as the crowd is oddly quiet.

That goes nowhere so Rock grabs a Samoan drop to put both guys down again. Cena gets two off a fisherman’s suplex but misses the tackle. The STF doesn’t work either and Rock grabs his bad looking Sharpshooter. That goes nowhere as Cena powers out and initiates his finishing sequence, only to miss the Shuffle. A Rock Bottom is countered into a bad looking crossface (not the STF Cole you dolt) but Rock rolls out.

Now the Shuffle connects but the AA is countered into a spinebuster. The Elbow takes too long though and now the STF (JBL: “THERE is the STF Michael!”) goes on, only to have Rock power out of it. The Rock Bottom gets two and so does the AA, with the latter allegedly ripping Rock’s abdomen apart and giving him a hernia which means he’s probably never wrestling again because insurance companies don’t want to deal with that risk.

Cena misses the top rope Fameasser and now the Elbow connects for two. John rolls outside so Rock can recover a bit. Back in and Rock wins a slugout but tries a cross body which is of course easily caught. Cena looks bored catching him like that. The AA is countered into another Rock Bottom followed by more laying around. Rock tries the Elbow again complete with You Can’t See Me but he runs into the AA for two more. They slug it out yet again and Cena hits a Rock Bottom of his own for two.

John loads up the People’s Elbow just like last year but hangs onto the ropes when Rock gets up. The AA is countered into yet another Rock Bottom for yet another two. They counter finishers again until Rock nails a DDT to break the finisher streak at like 8. Back up and another Rock Bottom is countered into another AA to give Cena the title back.

Rating: B-. Now just to clarify, they did get in some finishers right? This was bordering on parody with all of those kickouts as they went from headlocks and shoulders to Rock Bottom/AA a go-go for the last ten minutes. It was entertaining for the most part but much like any other match, when you pound finishers into the ground like they, they stop meaning anything.

They say something we can’t hear and shake hands after the match. Cena leaves Rock alone in the ring and waits for him on the stage. They pose together to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. The show is definitely entertaining and I shortchanged some stuff when I watched it live. My main criticism still holds up though: nothing felt big here. Even a year later, what is important here? Cena won the title, only to have Bryan charge up the ladder and become the real star after Cena feuded with Ryback for a few months. Lesnar and HHH had their real blowoff a month later. Punk vs. Undertaker was good but the real moment for Punk was at MITB.

Overall the show works well enough and is entertaining for a one off viewing, but it doesn’t feel like a big deal. The two main events are both rematches from the previous year and that isn’t the best idea for Wrestlemania. It didn’t help that the last three matches all had really obvious endings so it was more about just killing time rather than any intrigue. Still though, all three of those matches are at least good and there’s nothing really horrible so it’s definitely a solid show.

Ratings Comparison

The Miz vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: C

Shield vs. Randy Orton/Sheamus/Big Show

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Original: D

Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler/Big E. Langston vs. HELL NO

Original: C

Redo: D+

Fandango vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D

Redo: C

Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Original: B

Redo: B

HHH vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: B+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. The Rock

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/07/wrestlemania-xxix-and-so-it-ends/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 26, 2015
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,540
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

It’s the final show before the big one and that means we’re in for a very different kind of Smackdown. This is likely to be a studio heavy show with a lot of video packages, but it’s not like Smackdown means much in the first place. The main event is a big eight man tag with most of the people in some of the bigger matches. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro vs. Fernando vs. Big E.

One fall to a finish and no tags. It’s a big brawl to start with Jimmy hitting the running Umaga attack on Cesaro but Big E. suplexes Jimmy and Fernando down. Big E. keeps going by throwing them all into the same corner and driving in shoulders. Fernando is left alone with Big El and the Warrior Splash gets two. Jimmy comes back in to kick Big E. in the head and Fernando hits a big dive to take out E. and Cesaro. That’s not enough for Jimmy as he dives on all three for a huge crash.

Back in and Cesaro loads up the apron superplex on Fernando but Jimmy gets in to help him, only to have Big E. German suplex both guys to put all four down in something like a Tower of Doom. Cool stuff indeed. Cesaro and Fernando gets back up with the masked man diving into the Swing. A Backstabber breaks up the Neutralizer but Jimmy kicks Big E. down, allowing E. to hit the Big Ending on Cesaro. Jimmy nails the Superfly Splash on Cesaro for the pin at 4:53. Well that was….short.

Rating: C. Total insanity here with nothing resembling structure. That being said, what else can you ask for in a match like this? The fourway match on Sunday is going to be nothing but a big spotfest so why not just have the half sized version here? That Tower of Doom was cool stuff though and one big spot is more than enough in a five minute match.

We go live to Axxess with Byron Saxton and Renee Young. After talking about all the autographs that will be signed there, we go to a clip from ESPN on Monday where Brock Lesnar officially announced that he re-signed with WWE.

Long video on Reigns vs. Lesnar with Reigns saying he has to rise to the occasion and beat his biggest test.

Another video on the Intercontinental Title ladder match but with a different focus, as it looks back at some classics for the title at Wrestlemania. Some of the other ladder matches get a focus as well.

We look back at AJ and Paige brawling on Monday after the Bellas got under their skin.

We get a cool video of Rusev talking about how he’s broken Cena and how it means he’s broken America. By contrast, Cena promises to fight back for America and we see him getting a lot more intense to get the rematch at Wrestlemania, only to get laid out again on Raw.

Video on Rollins vs. Orton which focuses on Orton being the future ten years ago and Rollins being today’s future. Unfortunately it also talks about Orton infiltrating the Authority and beating Rollins down. It didn’t make sense then, it didn’t make sense when he explained it, and it doesn’t make sense now.

Here’s AJ for the big showdown with Paige. She says we’ve seen her as everything from the GM to everyone’s girlfriend to the longest reigning Divas Champion of all time. Paige and AJ both love being Divas Champion but at Wrestlemania, AJ is going to stand up to the Bellas and give them what they deserve. The question is whether AJ will be doing it alone.

Cue Paige who says AJ can’t just skip past what happened on Raw. It’s been almost a year since Paige debuted and took the Divas Title from AJ, which is why AJ doesn’t want her to have it back. AJ says she gets what she wants and she knows Paige is out of her mind too. At Wrestlemania, they can’t let the Kardashians win. They shake hands but here are the Bellas with a rebuttal.

Nikki calls them the compulsive liar and the backstabber but AJ’s ability to make everyone believe her doesn’t work on the Bellas. AJ doesn’t seem to care but Nikki says Brock Lesnar has worked more days in the last year than AJ has. Nikki has been running the division for a year and the two girls in the ring are just like every other girl in the back. “Who doesn’t want to be a Bella?” Paige: “Who wants to be a D-list celebrity and a failed actress?” Paige says they like being the freaks and geeks and the girls that beat the Bellas at Wrestlemania. The Bellas are ready for Sunday. Good promo, but why isn’t the title on the line?

Video on HHH’s rise to the top of WWE and how he’s come to dominate the company. Sting on the other hand is the face of WCW and the one guy that has never been in WWE, making it a huge dream match. I really wish they had decided on the story. It seemed like a rehash of WCW vs. WWE but the interesting story is that HHH and the Authority can’t use their bullying tactics on Sting because he’s the one guy pure enough and a big enough legend for it to have no effect. Sting tried to get away from the WCW thing and even called it ridiculous, but Stephanie decided that’s what it should be about and she runs this place right?

The next recap is on Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt, with Undertaker finally coming off a loss at Wrestlemania and Bray wanting to replace him as the new face of fear. This is a really easy story but Bryan can only say the same thing so many times without Undertaker showing up. That same problem has plagued this show in multiple matches.

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Mark Henry vs. Seth Rollins/Bray Wyatt/Big Show/Kane

Time for the token main event to make it clear that we’re watching a wrestling show. Isn’t Wyatt as part of the Authority kind of against what his character stands for? Reigns shoves Rollins around to start and explodes out of the corner with a clothesline. He adds eight more clotheslines in the corner and a nice tilt-a-whirl slam for no cover as Rollins is in early trouble.

Wyatt comes in but eats a right hand as well and gets Stunned over the top rope. Reigns brings back the Apron Kick and it’s all good guys so far. Off to Kane, who I guess is supposed to be more intimidating. He charges into Reigns’ boot in the corner and a middle rope clothesline gets two so it’s off to Big Show.

Henry wants in and gets the tag, giving us the battle of the giants. As expected, this goes badly for Henry and the heels stomp away on the fallen strongman. He looks like a fat turtle on the mat. Back to Kane for more stomping and the tall men take turns chopping Henry down. A superkick stops Mark’s comeback and we take a break.

Back with Cena coming in to clean house but Bray does his flying body block to put him down. The giants take turns on Cena this time as the dueling chants start up. Wyatt gets in a cheap shot as Rollins comes in to keep the bad guys in control. John wins a slugout with Rollins but Seth flips out of the AA and kicks Cena down again. The backsplash hits but a second attempt misses for Bray.

Rollins breaks up another tag attempt with a sleeper and jumps on Cena’s back for good measure. That’s fine with Cena as he drives Rollins into the corner, only to get caught with a Blockbuster for two. Big Show comes in (Big Show vs. Cena!) but misses the Vader Bomb, meaning it’s already back to Rollins. He doesn’t have the same luck this time as Cena backdrops him to the floor and it’s hot tag to Bryan.

Things speed way up and Bryan hits the top rope hurricanrana, followed by the YES Kick. He has to go after the Stooges though and Rollins gets in a kick of his own. Time for more Big Show but Reigns comes in with the Superman Punch. Sister Abigail is countered with a spear and Kane gets one as well. Henry and Reigns splash Show in the corner and the AA sets up the running knee to pin Big Show at 19:31.

Rating: D+. This was long, dull and completely unimportant as the only people in the same Wrestlemania match were Kane, Big Show and Henry who aren’t even on the main show anymore. Like I said, this was total filler and I’m really not a fan of having a match just to waste time. They did a decent job of making Reigns look good, but does beating up Kane and Big Show really mean much at this point?

Overall Rating: C. Yeah whatever. This is one of the shows I dread every year because it’s just a big commercial for Sunday and much more for people who aren’t watching the last few weeks. The wrestling here was just to remind us that it was a wrestling show and somehow I wound up liking the Divas stuff more than anything else, despite the match at Sunday not even being for the title. Dull show but that’s a tradition for this episode.

Results

Jimmy Uso b. Cesaro, Big E. and Fernando – Superfly Splash to Cesaro

John Cena/Daniel Bryan/Mark Henry/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins/Bray Wyatt – Running knee to Big Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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No reason given but it’s likely due to it being a TWO HOUR pre-show and needing more than one match.  I’m not sure if they have enough to fill in the PPV now but they did it with seven matches last year.

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We wrap things up with this and a main event which no one ever thought we would see: John Cena vs. The Rock. This is one of if not the only match ever that I had to see. I didn’t know if it would be good or bad, but I needed to see it. The match was announced the night after the last Wrestlemania and was literally built for a year. On the undercard we have Punk vs. Jericho for the world title, Sheamus vs. Bryan for the other title and HHH vs. Undertaker inside the Cell. When that is a DISTANT second match, you know you’ve got something huge. Let’s get to it.

Lillian Garcia sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video is about how Cena and Rock’s lives have both built up to this moment and how this match is Once In A Lifetime. Oh and HHH vs. Undertaker is happening too.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Sheamus won the Rumble to earn this show. We’re pre-beard for Bryan here which is weird to see anymore. The bell rings, Bryan kisses his girlfriend AJ, turns around into a Brogue Kick and we have a new champion in 18 seconds. That number would haunt Bryan for at least six months.

Team Johnny is fired up for the twelve man tag for later tonight. Miz brags about being in the main event last year but it’s Otunga who gets them to be quiet for a pep talk from Johnny Ace.

Win tickets to Wrestlemania 29!

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Kane had recently put the mask back on again and went after Orton to prove that he’s still evil because last summer he lost a street fight to Orton and then shook his hand. Why is it Orton who gets these months and years long backstories? The opener didn’t quite have its intended effect as the fans are chanting for Daniel Bryan. Kane takes over to start but the chokeslam is broken up by kicks to the ribs. Orton gets him down and stomps away but Kane reverses the Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by Cole) and takes over with a big boot.

Kane’s low dropkick gets a near fall and it’s off to a chinlock. Back up and they slug it out with Randy taking over. Kane will have none of that though and clotheslines Randy down for two. The side slam gets two more and it’s back to the chinlock. A swinging neckbreaker out of nowhere puts Kane down but the monster hits a vertical suplex for another two count. Off to chinlock #3 as the match slows down again.

Orton backflips out of another side slam and his backbreaker puts Kane down for a bit. There’s the powerslam and Orton is getting fired up. Kane goes shoulder first into the post and now the Elevated DDT hits (again called a bulldog by Cole). The RKO is countered into a big boot for two more for Kane but the top rope clothesline is blocked by a dropkick. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a chokeslam for a close two. Another RKO is countered and Kane goes to the middle rope. Orton tries a superplex but Kane shrugs him off and hits a middle rope chokeslam for the upset win.

Rating: B-. I had always wanted to see these two have a match and I was pleased when I finally saw it. Kane can have a good match on a big stage when he needs to and that’s what he did here. Orton is bulletproof so it’s not like losing here means anything of note. This was a nice surprise and a good match with a big ending.

Santino is with Mick Foley in a sailor hat and a guy from the fishing show Deadliest Catch. They’re eating crabs and Foley makes bad pirate jokes. Socko and Cobra make appearances, as does Ron Simmons and I think you can get the joke from here.

Some National Guard people are here.

Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Cody is defending and the idea here is that Big Show has never had a good Wrestlemania moment. You know, because winning a meaningless midcard title in 2012 is more important than main eventing the show in possibly the biggest and best year the company has ever had. During the entrance we get some “highlights” from Show’s career. Naturally the pin in the 8 man tag last year is never mentioned at all.

Cody runs to the floor to start but Show easily throws him back into the ring. There’s a beal across the ring and a hard chop in the corner, followed by a Stink Face for good measure. Cody comes back with some dropkicks to the knee and pounds away as much as he can. Rhodes pounds on Show’s back a bit and is LAUNCHED off on the kickout. The champion works on the knee a bit with a standing leg lock and a DDT to take it down. After some stomps to Show’s head, he shoves Cody away with ease but gets caught by the Disaster Kick. A second is countered with a spear though and the WMD makes Show the champion.

Rating: D+. What were you expecting here? At the end of the day, Cody has nothing that was going to keep Show down and with all the building up of the match about Show’s past embarrassments, there was only one way this could end. That and it’s only about five minutes so it didn’t have enough time to suck or anything. Not great but it was exactly what it was expect to be.

Video on what it means to be a Diva.

We recap the Divas tag. Kelly Kelly had been a guest on Extra with Maria Menunos when Eve and Beth came in and claimed they should be the guests. A tag match was made.

Eve Torres/Beth Phoenix vs. Maria Menunos/Kelly Kelly

Beth has….wings on her head? Kelly and the freshly heel Eve start things off with Kelly doing her screaming hurricanrana to take over. A handspring elbow hits Eve’s knee in the corner but Kelly breaks up a moonsault and knocks Eve into the Tree of Woe. Off to Maria for a double Stink Face, resulting in the famous stain on the back of Maria’s tights from Eve’s makeup.

Since Maria isn’t a wrestler, the beatdown on her begins quickly with Eve wrapping her up in a body vice. Off to Beth (in gold tonight) for a side bearhug as the match slows WAY down. Back to Eve for some quick double teaming but she takes too long with the shaky moonsault. It’s back to Kelly as things break down a bit. A top rope seated senton gets two on Beth and the Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog. Back to Maria who goes….up. After getting pulled down, Kelly breaks up a gorilla press and a rollup is enough for Maria to pin Beth.

Rating: D+. Four good looking women in tight outfits and one of them anchors a national television show. Do you really need a further explanation as to why this happened? The interesting note: of these four, Maria is the only one involved with Wrestlemania 29 and that’s as a Hall of Fame inductor.

Shawn Michaels, the guest referee inside the Cell, says either the Undertaker or HHH are done tonight.

New attendance record. As always.

Jim Ross comes out to do commentary for the Cell match.

HHH vs. Undertaker

This is inside Hell in a Cell with Shawn Michaels as guest referee. Undertaker basically became Batman in his cave and wanted a rematch to prove he could beat HHH. As in like he already did. This is also billed as End of an Era, but what era that was never actually became clear. The announcement of the Cell was perfect as HHH said he wanted one more thing, which was presumed to be Streak vs. career. It’s a good lesson in letting the feud set the stipulations, not the calendar. Undertaker debuts his new mohawk here to a gasp from the crowd. The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica.

Taker pounds away into the corner to start with “carcinogenic” right hands according to JR. HHH pounds away as well but gets thrown out to the floor soon thereafter. HHH is sent into the Cell a few times and a backdrop puts him down on the floor again. Taker sends him into the steel over and over as it’s one sided so far. Now it’s the steps instead of the Cell with Taker in full control. Back in and a facebuster is no sold and down goes HHH again.

Old School connects and we head back outside again. Shawn isn’t a factor yet. The steps go upside HHH’s head and set up the apron legdrop. Back in and HHH hits a DDT, which somehow makes us completely even. The steps are in the ring now so HHH slams Taker’s head into them a few times. A Pedigree onto the steps is blocked with a backdrop but HHH comes back with a spinebuster onto the steps, only to get caught in the Hell’s Gate. In an impressive power display, HHH lifts Taker up into a powerbomb to break the hold and get two as well.

HHH throws in a pair of chairs and cracks one of them over Taker’s back. Taker is whipped into the steps in the corner before they’re sent to the outside. JR says there are no laws in the Cell. Other than you win by pin or submission and all that. HHH goes off with the chair, DESTROYING Undertaker Austin/Rock style. Shawn takes the chair away and tells HHH to cover Undertaker because he’s not going to quit. Trips takes the chair back and shoves Shawn down before pounding on Taker even more. He tells Shawn to end it before he does.

Taker says do not stop it as he’s getting back up. He turns around though and is hit in the ribs and back by the chair but it only gets two. HHH is starting to get frustrated so he hits Taker in the back with another chair and it’s time for more pathos with Taker saying don’t stop it. Cue the sledgehammer for a shot to the head for ANOTHER two. HHH (who is cut over the eye) has no idea what to do now.

The Game pulls up the hammer to slam it down onto Taker’s head but Shawn pulls it away to prevent the murder. Shawn is ready to stop it as Taker can barely move. Michaels raises his hand but Taker pulls him into the Hell’s Gate to stop him. Trips breaks it up with a hammer shot but Taker comes back with a low blow and Hell’s Gate on HHH. There’s no referee though and Taker lets it go from exhaustion with his opponent out cold.

Another referee comes in as Taker hits a last effort chokeslam for two. Taker chokeslams the referee (I believe that’s the same referee he beat up in 2001 against HHH as well) but walks into the superkick into the Pedigree…..FOR TWO! I lost my mind watching that live because I really thought it was over. Now HHH shoves Shawn to the floor and Taker sits up to scare the life out of HHH. Taker erupts on HHH with a big boot and running clothesline, setting up snake eyes and another boot.

The Tombstone connects but HHH is up at two. Shawn has no idea what to do as both guys are slowly getting up. They slug it out from their knees before getting to their feet for more HARD punches. Another Tombstone is countered into the Pedigree for a VERY close two. HHH goes for the hammer but Taker steps on it to stop him. A HARD chair shot to the back puts HHH down and another one keeps him down.

Some more chair shots get two on HHH so Shawn screams at them to end this. HHH tries a hammer shot to the face but Taker easily blocks it. They stare each other down and HHH gives Taker a crotch chop. Trips walks out of the corner into a hammer shot to the head. HHH tries to climb up Taker’s body but the strap comes down, the throat is slit, and the Tombstone makes it 20-0.

Rating: A+. This is another reason why I’m not so wild on last year’s match: they’re capable of SO much better and this is proof. This match told a great story with both guys destroying each other with Shawn being stuck in the middle and trying to figure out what do do in each situation. It’s a great match, it’s a great fight, and it’s pure emotion the entire time. Great stuff here, and most importantly of all: there were moments where I thought it was over. I never bought that as a possibility last year.

After a few moments on the mat, Taker sits up but falls right back down. He pulls himself up on Shawn and they embrace. HHH is still out cold. Shawn and Taker lift him up and carry him out of the ring. They embrace on the stage in one of the most iconic images you’ll ever see. You don’t often get to use that word, but it’s true in this case.

Send Slim Jims to soldiers! I love charity stuff, but it’s a big shift after what we just sat through.

We get clips of the Hall of Fame stuff from last night.

Here’s the live presentation of the 2012 class: Mil Mascaras, Yokozuna (represented by his kids), Ron Simmons, the Horsemen (including Flair, which set off a lawsuit since he was still under contract to TNA), Mike Tyson and Edge (who gets theme music but has short hair which is such an odd look for him). This was the breather that the fans needed.

Heath Slater tries to get a spot in Flo-Rida’s performance but gets turned and then shoved down. Hawkins and Reks laugh at Slater.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga

Teddy: Kofi Kingston, Great Khali, R-Truth, Zack Ryder (with Eve), Booker T, Santino Marella

Each team has a Bella as a fan, the match is for total control of both brands, and Johnny is in a white suit. Oh and Vickie is with Johnny and Horny is with Teddy as the flag bearers. Otunga and Santino are team captains, because Miz and Booker aren’t good enough. Kofi and Dolph start things off for their usual solid sequence. Truth comes in for a double hiptoss and a dancing legdrop.

McIntyre comes in to pound on Truth but it’s quickly off to Khali to change momentum. It should also be mentioned that they’re in red and blue t-shirts with the GM’s on the front. Off to Booker to chop away on Drew and a superkick puts him down. Booker goes after the rest of Team Johnny but the numbers catch up with him, allowing Swagger to take over. Jack gets to beat on Kofi for a bit and it’s off to Henry. Mark pounds him down in the corner as the match slows way down.

Off to Miz with some knees to the chest and a boot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Booker comes back with a suplex for no cover. Ziggler comes in to break up the tag and drop some elbows for two. Everything starts breaking down as Henry hits the Slam on Booker but Khali chops him down. I can’t keep track of everything going on but Henry catches a diving Horny in mid-air.

The girls get in a brawl and there’s the hot tag to Santino to pound on Miz. The Cobra connects and Cole panics until Ziggler makes the save. Another hot tag brings in Ryder for the Rough Ryder for Dolph and a beatdown on everyone else. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve gets in the ring as well. The referee tries to get her out and the distraction lets Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale on Ryder for the pin, making Ace GM of both shows.

Rating: D+. As is the usual case with stuff like this, there was way too much going on to keep track of anything. There were something like 18 people involved in this whole thing and the ending was about Eve and her heel turn more than anything else. Ace would be GM for about four months or so while boring us to death against Cena. Not much to see here though due to the amount of people in the match.

Post match, Eve finally turns on Ryder for good, confirming him as the biggest loser in the WWE. Wasn’t Eve already a heel in the Divas tag? Why is this supposed to be shocking?

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

We get a video on the media blitz and activities for Wrestlemania week.

To celebrate winning, Laurinitis changes the Raw World Title match rules so that if Punk gets disqualified, Jericho wins the title.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

This is over who is the best in the world and Jericho claims that Punk is really an alcoholic and his family has a bunch of substance abuse issues. The buildup for this really was good stuff, even though this is nowhere near the main event. Punk takes it to the mat to start and fires off some kicks to the chest. He does the same with knees in the corner but stops when the referee gets to four. Jericho slaps him in the face and takes the beating like a man to try to get the DQ again.

Another few slaps have Punk in a frenzy but he holds off to avoid the DQ. A slam puts Jericho down but he rolls away before the Macho Elbow can be launched. Instead CM dives to the floor to take out Jericho, followed by a wicked smile. Jericho asks how Punk’s sister and father are but Punk doesn’t swing the chair he grabs. Punk charges into a pair of boots to the face and the challenger takes over.

They head to the apron and Punk tries a GTS, only to be clotheslined back into the ring. Jericho hooks a kind of Jackhammer to the floor for two back inside. We hit the chinlock but Punk fights up with a slap. Jericho comes right back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two and kicks the injured back again. Some hard kicks to the torso keep Punk in trouble but he fires off some strikes of his own. The champion goes up but is pulled back down to land hard on his back.

Punk escapes a bow and arrow hold and sidesteps a charge to send Jericho crotch first into the corner. A spinning neckbreaker gets two on Chris and there’s the running knee in the corner. Jericho counters the bulldog but has to stop the Lionsault to avoid knees. That counter is countered into a Walls attempt but Punk shakes him off for two. The Macho Elbow hits knees and Jericho hits the Codebreaker but it sends Punk out to the floor. Back in and Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two.

Punk fires off the kicks and gets two off a quick powerslam. They trade German suplex grips but Punk gets dropped on the top rope to give Jericho control. The Lionsault gets two and Chris goes up, only to be chopped a lot to slow him down. The champion loads up a hurricanrana but gets countered into the Walls in one of Jericho’s classic counters. Punk finally makes the ropes and sends Jericho to the floor to set up the suicide dive.

Jericho staggers to his feet and Punk hits the running knee, crushing Jericho’s head against the post. They head back in and somehow Jericho grabs the Codebreaker out of nowhere for two. Back up and Jericho pounds away on Punk in the corner, only to go up again and get kicked down. The GTS is countered into the Liontamer (the kneeling version of the Walls) in the middle of the ring but shifts it to the regular Walls.

Jericho has to pull him away from the ropes and Punk escapes into dueling small packages. CM rolls through again into the Anaconda Vice but Jericho knees Punk in the back of the head to escape. The Walls don’t work again and Punk hooks another Vice, this time tucking his head in to avoid the knees. Jericho is trapped and finally gives up.

Rating: A. Great match here with both guys destroying each other and countering everything both guys had. I love the ending with Punk getting smarter as he kept going in a good display of psychology. Thankfully the DQ bit didn’t go anywhere which makes it pretty stupid. Excellent match here though which would have been a great main event for any other show of the year.

Wrestlemania 29 is coming to New Jersey, but we’ll bill it as New York because it sounds better.

Here’s Brodus, who had recently debuted as the Funkasaurus. He tells everyone to get their phone, because they’re gonna call their mamas. Brodus calls his own and apparently she’s here tonight……WITH THE BRIDGE CLUB! Cue a troop of old women for a BIG dance party.

Video on G.I. Joe 2 which was just released like two weeks ago. As in nearly a year after this show.

And now, it is time.

We recap Rock vs. Cena which is at least a year in the making. Something like seven years ago Cena insulted Rock in an interview, so when Rock came back to be guest host last year, he insulted Cena in his return promo. The night after Wrestlemania, Cena had challenged Rock to a one on one match at THIS Wrestlemania. This led to a year of build (minus six months for Rock to make a movie of course) which got me to the point where I HAD to see this match. I didn’t know if it was going to be great, if it was going to suck, or somewhere in between, but I needed to see it. That’s never happened to me as a fan before.

Diddy comes out to bring out MGK (a rapper) to perform some song called Invincible. He does this stupid monologue about how Cena is a huge underdog in this, despite Cena being active having more experience overall than Rock. Cena is booed out of the building but gives something to an old lady who apparently is related to some Hall of Famer. We should be ready for Rock’s entrance, but first we need Flo-Rida to perform two songs. I remember SCREAMING to get to it at this point. Oh and Flo has a bunch of dancers with him, presumably the same girls who were in the Bridge Club ten minutes ago.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Rock’s ovation is thunderous. There’s really no other way to put it as it’s very clear who the fans are for here. During the big match intros, Cena is booed even further out of the stadium. They stare each other down and FINALLY the bell rings. Cena shoves him away to start and the dueling chants begin. They lock up again and this time Cena goes flying. Rock grabs a headlock before they fight over arm control.

A few armdrags put Cena down and a cradle gets a quick two for Cena. Cena has to make sure it wasn’t three as he looks a bit shaken. Back up and John leapfrogs over Rock before taking him down with a headlock takeover. They get up again and Rock tries a quick Sharpshooter but Cena bails to the floor. Rock decks him as he gets back in but Cena charges at him in the corner with a hard shoulder to the ribs. Cena gets a quick one count off a clothesline before putting on a bearhug on the mat.

Back up and Rock punches away but gets low bridged out to the floor. Cena drops him ribs first onto the barricade and announce table before going to the ring for a seat. When Rock won’t quit Cena throws him back inside and gets a two count. We’re definitely in another gear now. Off to a bearhug on Rock’s bad ribs but he won’t quit. Rock finally comes back with right hands to escape and a DDT for two.

Rock wins a quick slugout and hits the spinebuster but Cena picks the leg to break up the Elbow. Cena comes back with his finishing sequence but the AA is escaped. A double clothesline puts both guys down as they take a breather. After a few moments on the mat they slug it out with Cena punching Rock down to his knees. Rock fires off more punches and does You Can’t See Me before trying the spit punch, only to get caught in the AA for a close two.

Cena goes to pick Rock up but takes the Rock Bottom for two for the Brahma Bull. Rock stomps away in the corner but walks into a side slam for two. John goes up top for a very delayed top rope Fameasser for another near fall. Rock comes back with a spinebuster into the Sharpshooter but he doesn’t have it on well. Cena crawls to the rope so Rock lets go and pounds away. Back to the Sharpshooter (why don’t more people do that? Even if Cena won’t quit you can still do more damage) but Cena makes the rope immediately again. Gee maybe if he had pulled Cena from the rope it would have been harder to escape.

Rock fires off some elbows to the chest and sends Cena into the steps for good measure. Back inside and Cena tries a sunset flip of all things but immediately shifts into the STF in the middle of the ring. Cena drags him back to the middle of the ring and Rock is starting to fade. We get an old school arm check and Rock holds it up on the third drop. I love stuff like that. Rock makes it to the ropes and as they get back up, Cena walks into a Samoan drop to put both guys down.

Another slugout goes to Rock and the spinebuster sets up the Elbow……for TWO. The place is losing their minds on these kickouts and can you blame them a bit? Both guys are spent here but Cena hits a catapult into the corner for two. With nothing left to try, Cena loads up the middle rope AA but Rock shoves him off and tries a top rope cross body but Cena rolls through into the BIG AA for an even closer two. Cena begs the referee to call it three. That gets him nowhere so Cena loads up a People’s Elbow. As he hits the second rope, Rock nips up and hits the Rock Bottom for the shocking pin.

Rating: A+. What else do you want from this? This is one of those matches which could have gone either way as they beat the tar out of each other. They had the big fight atmosphere down to perfection here and while the ending is still questionable (yet not completely wrong), it’s exactly what you want a Wrestlemania main event to be. This somehow surpassed the hype and was excellent in every sense of the word.

Cena sits on the ramp, stunned.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. This is one of the best shows of all time, bar none. The two big matches delivered far better than you could have hoped for, the Raw title match was great, nothing sucked, there are multiple Wrestlemania Moments on here, and the crowd was white hot all night. This is easily in the highest levels of Wrestlemanias ever and it’s every bit as good as it was when I watched it live. Great stuff and absolutely worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus

Original:

Redo: N/A

Kane vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kelly Kelly/Maria Menunos vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

Original: C+

Redo: D+

HHH vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

Redo: A+

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Original: C

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Original: A

Redo: A

The Rock vs. John Cena

Original: B+

Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

Redo: A

I shortchanged that main event terribly. It’s a masterpiece.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/04/01/wrestlemania-xxviii-one-of-the-best-shows-of-all-time/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6