NXT – February 25, 2015: It Had To Happen Eventually
NXT Date: February 25, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Alex Riley, Tom Phillips
We’re still living in Kevin Owens’ NXT as he shows no sign of letting up soon. Last week he ran through former NXT Champion Adrian Neville, clearing more of the path to get to his showdown with Finn Balor. Other than that, we have the potential split of Carmella from Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady, which might be well received by the NXT fans. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Hideo Itami vs. Bull Dempsey
Dempsey elbows him in the face to start and drives another into Hideo’s chest. A chinlock doesn’t last long as Itami fires off elbows of his own, followed by kicks to the leg. That’s fine with Dempsey who hits a running Vader style splash for two to regain control. When all else fails, just have the big guy run someone over. Itami comes back with a quick series of strike and a running basement dropkick in the corner. A running kick to the face is enough to pin Dempsey at 2:50.
Tyler Breeze superkicks Itami as he leaves. He stops to take a picture though and Itami gets up to chase him away.
Video on The Brian Kendrick, who is making a return tonight like Rhyno did last week.
Lucha Dragons vs. Tye Dillinger/Jason Jordan
During Dillinger/Jordan’s entrances, Solomon Crowe hacks the feed and says he’ll be NXT Champion. Jordan drags Sin Cara into the corner but Kalisto is pulled in, only to get face planted for his efforts. Off to Dillinger for a mocking bow to Cara as the fans chant NO ME GUSTA (“I don’t like it!”) and a slam to Kalisto.
It’s quickly back to Cara who quickly takes Dillinger into the Dragons’ corner for a tag back to Kalisto. That’s quite the fast exchange. Dillinger and Jordan (thank goodness for those letters on the trunks. To be fair I couldn’t tell the Hardy Boys apart for years either) don’t seem to agree on a tag so Tye tells him to relax. Cara slips over for a tag to Kalisto as things speed way up. Jordan drops to the floor and walks out on the match, allowing the Salida Del Sol and Swanton Bomb to pin Dillinger at 3:31.
Rating: D+. This was angle advancement but I’m getting a little bored with the Dragons. We saw them win and lose the titles and they’re still basically the same team. Those belts have always been defined by heel teams so the Dragons never did much for me with the titles. Nothing much to see here, especially considering Jordan and Dillinger haven’t meant anything in months.
Finn Balor is ready for Kendrick tonight and isn’t looking ahead to Owens.
After a break, Dillinger demands Jordan come out here. He doesn’t care whose match is next because he can whip that man too.
Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger
End of Days, 17 seconds. Corbin needs to move up the ladder a bit now. Give him a feud against someone not named Dempsey.
Charlotte says the title is coming back where it belongs next week.
Breeze says Itami will soon be squashed in his trap.
Quick video on Sami Zayn in Abu Dhabi.
Bayley vs. Becky Lynch
The fans are split on who to cheer for but the Bayley fans boo at the Becky fans. Becky charges into an elbow in the corner but avoids a splash, setting up a pumphandle suplex for two on Bayley. A hair whip legdrop gets the same and we hit the chinlock. Bayley fights up and takes Becky outside for a baseball slide through the corner ala Sami’s running DDT.
Back in and the aggression comes out of Bayley with some running corner elbows, complete with the tightening of the hair band (as usual, far more adorable than it should be). Bayley tweaks her arm but shoves Becky away and keeps going. A middle rope back elbow to the jaw gets two on Lynch. The Belly to Bayley is countered into a seated armbar out of nowhere and Bayley taps at 4:30.
Rating: C. As usual, this is miles ahead of the messes that the Divas usually put on. The Divas seem impressed when they manage a suplex. This was a four and a half minute match with different stages and even some psychology with the arm. It’s so much better than listening to BRIE MODE or someone putting on lip gloss. You can still be a heel without makeup if that’s believable.
Rhyno is back because he loves the intensity he sees here in NXT. It reminds him of the energy he has when he Gores people in half.
Jason Jordan did what he did and will give an explanation when he wants to.
Finn Balor vs. The Brian Kendrick
Owens is on commentary and says he’d love to face Balor anytime he’d like. Kendrick grabs a headlock to start but gets thrown off and dropkicked down. Brian claims an ankle injury but goldbricks to grab a small package for two. Back to the headlock on the mat but Balor kicks him off, sending Kendrick crawling away. It’s even more goldbricking though as he grabs a hammerlock. Owens doesn’t like something Riley says and leaves as Kendrick grabs another headlock.
Back from a break with Balor hitting a running forearm to the jaw to put Kendrick down. Finn charges into a boot to the jaw though and eats a tornado DDT for two. A kick to the chest drops Kendrick again though and the Sling Blade does the same. The top rope double stomp is good for the pin on Kendrick at 11:32.
Rating: C-. I like seeing Balor having a bit simpler match for a change but I’ve never been a fan of Kendrick. He’s much more interesting on the mic than in the ring but it’s continuing a cool idea of having people return to the show like this. Owens vs. Balor has real potential to tear the house down though and this was more build to that.
Post match Owens comes out and stares at Balor before throwing Riley over the announcers’ desk. Balor stares him down from the ring and invites Owens to come fight him. The champ walks away to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This really didn’t do it for me and was one of the weaker shows they’ve had in a long time. They’re in a holding pattern until we get to Balor vs. Owens and then the big rematch with Owens vs. Zayn. Tonight’s show felt like a filler episode but next week there’s going to be a title match which NXT almost always does well. Not a bad show this week, but not one of their better episodes.
Results
Hideo Itami b. Bull Dempsey – Running boot to the face
Lucha Dragons b. Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger – Swanton Bomb to Dillinger
Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days
Becky Lynch b. Bayley – Seated armbar
Finn Balor b. The Brian Kendrick – Top rope double stomp
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As a life long Flintstones fan, I’ve been waiting for a very long time for this movie to come out. The Scooby-Doo movie was actually pretty solid for a quick hour and a half sit through, but this is just fifty minutes long. I’m really not sure if this is going to work as well, but I’m going to give a list of thoughts/issues throughout the whole thing. Expect some rare Flintstones fan boy rage in this one. Let’s get to it.
So first and foremost, this thing’s full title is The Flintstones and WWE: Stone Age Smackdown. That’s quite the wordy title, and the movie is only 49 minutes long. At the end of the day though, that’s probably a good thing. This really isn’t very good and didn’t need to be made. There’s a really basic plot (Fred needs money, thinks sports entertainment (not wrestling. Unless I missed it, that word is never used) is an easy way to afford a vacation) and everything is wrapped up really fast. There are only two wrestling shows in the whole thing and less than five matches.
Of course the main thing here is the wrestlers, but there aren’t many to go around. The entire cast from WWE is:
John Cena: a relative of Mr. Slate (which means he’s actually related to Barney if this is cannon) who can throw around dinosaurs.
Rey Mysterio: a guy who works in an office and wears a mask for no apparent reason.
Undertaker: an undertaker, who messes with a tablet a lot.
Bella Twins: two girls from Bedrock. They’re in this about three minutes combined.
Daniel Bryan: just there for a YES cameo.
CM Punk: villain. More on him later.
Mark Henry: Punk’s lackey.
Vince McMahon: owns a raw fish bar. GET IT?
And that’s it. The wrestlers are pretty limited here, and it’s made even stranger by the fact that they’re not wrestlers. They’re just people Fred hires to be in his shows, meaning they don’t know how to wrestle a match. Undertaker and Cena use tombstones at one point but that’s the extent of the wrestling involved.
There isn’t much to the plot and I’ll spare the major spoilers in case you want to see this. There’s only a handful of decent jokes, such as Cena suggesting he take up music and Punk being obsessed with ice cream. The only other scenes that gave me a chuckle were Daniel Bryan and John Cena doing the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck YES/NO bit (WWE meets Looney Tunes could have some serious potential) and Bam Bam being stronger than Henry.
The characters look really off for the most part, but at least it’s consistent. Wilma’s head is MASSIVE and it’s really distracting. As for the WWE people, Cena looked fine, Vince wasn’t wearing a suit and looks way out of place in anything else, Mark Henry looked homeless, and the Bellas look like they did back in 2008. On the other hand though, they pretty much nailed Undertaker’s look perfectly, save for him wearing pink trunks at one point and spending too much time on the tablet.
For the most part, the wrestlers are just kind of there. Cena does a few things (including having his theme song start playing for no apparent reason), Mysteiro could have been anyone, Henry is a standard lackey and the Bellas are run off by Wilma and Betty. The interesting character though is Punk, who has the only running joke (thinking Barney’s pet Hoparoo is a kangaroo. I didn’t say the joke was funny), bullies Barney and seems to be cruel to animals. I don’t think they were going over the top with him as he’s certainly the closest thing they have to a villain, but it was interesting given what’s happened since he left.
As for the Flintstones stuff, it’s pretty standard, uninspired stuff. These characters could have been on any given cartoon and you wouldn’t notice the difference. Fred wants money, the girls don’t trust the boys because they know they’ll have a scheme, and that’s about the extent of their involvement. It feels like someone said “put the Flintstones in this” and someone who has watched all of two episodes of the show was in charge of them (to be fair though, you can pretty much understand the main Flintstones characters after watching five minutes of any episode). They’re there, but it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.
Overall, this really is just a thing. It’s not really funny, it’s not really good, and it’s basically just there to say WWE and the Flintstones are doing something together. The Scooby-Doo movie had WAY more effort put in and I had about a thousand times more fun watching it. This pretty much just came and went and only got a handful of chuckles out of me. It’s far from horrible as it’s not even 50 minutes long, but unless you’re a big Flintstones fan, there’s no need to watch it. The wrestlers aren’t enough of a factor to draw in WWE fans and you would be better off watching the Scooby-Doo movie instead.
Oh and one more thing: one of the main jokes in the history of the Flintstones is taking someone with a famous name and adding a rock pun. They’re doing a movie with WWE and no one brings up THE ROCK??? That’s the biggest layup joke you could ever make and there’s nothing there? Come on now.
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Monday Nitro – October 4, 1999: The Last Great Thing WCW Did
Monday Nitro #208 Date: October 4, 1999 Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri Attendance: 6,942
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
We’re getting closer to Halloween Havoc but tonight we take a detour into something that is actually special. Less than five months earlier, Owen Hart passed away in this same arena. His brother Bret wanted to do something special for him, and that’s what we’re getting on this show. Let’s get to it.
The announcers hype up the main events, because those promises have held up so much recently.
Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Dean Malenko
This starts after a way too early break. Malenko quickly flips Mysterio to the floor and grabs a legbar back inside. Rey pops to his feet and speeds things WAY up for a nice counter sequence, capped off with Malenko throwing him into the air but eating a dropkick on the way back down. A hot shot is countered but Rey bounces backwards into a hurricanrana for two. That was AWESOME and even Malenko has to give Mysterio credit.
To change the subject a bit, Tony casually mentions that Psychosis beat Lenny Lane for the Cruiserweight Title over the weekend. That’s code for “it turns out Turner Broadcasting didn’t like having a shock value gimmick like over the top incestuous brothers on a show with falling ratings”. The title match never happened of course but Psychosis does get to defend tonight against Disco Inferno. Of course since this title means nothing, it’s throw in as a sidebar in this match. You know, the match that COULD BE FOR THE TITLE instead of just being part of the Revolution vs. Filthy Animals feud over absolutely nothing.
Back to the match, Malenko gets two off a German suplex and cranks on the leg. That goes nowhere so Dean is thrown to the floor for a big dive from Rey. They head inside again and Rey loads up the yet to be named West Coast Pop, only to have Malenko catch him in a kind of powerbomb to set up the Cloverleaf.
Ropes are grabs and Mysterio counters tilt-a-whirl slam into a kind of cross body. They get back up and hit a double clothesline but Mysterio sells it more like a Boss Man Slam for an odd looking crash. Cue Shane Douglas with a chain but Saturn runs down and steals it from him. Saturn stares Douglas down with the chain but hits Mysterio instead, allowing Dean, who didn’t seem to see what happened, to put on the Cloverleaf for the win.
Rating: C+. Really good start to the match here until we had to get Shane Douglas involved. It looks like the Revolution is starting to splinter, which makes good enough sense given that they have nothing else going for them. They have yet to recover from that disaster at Fall Brawl so why not just turn them heel from the inside?
Dean sees the replay on the screen and isn’t happy with Saturn.
Tony tells us about the New Year’s Evil pay per view on December 27, which wasn’t on New Year’s, wasn’t on New Year’s Eve, wasn’t evil and never wound up happening.
Video on Bret, talking about Owen and his death.
Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Psychosis
Tony brings up the hiring of Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara, who will be chatting on WCW.com later this week. And so it begins. By it I mean the bizarre choices, such as allowing fans to talk to writers. Why would fans care about something like that? Picture this back in 1988: “Yes fans this coming Wednesday, you can call in and talk to the booker!”
Psychosis is defending after being awarded the title in a phantom title change over the weekend. The new champ starts fast and knocks Disco out to the floor with a baseball slide, setting up a big dive over the top. Back in and Disco gets a boot up in the corner, followed by a swinging neckbreaker for two.
You know Disco isn’t smart enough to make that last though and charges into an elbow from Psychosis. Well at least they’re consistent. A top rope hurricanrana gets two for Psychosis but Disco pops back up, only to dive into a spinwheel kick. The guillotine legdrop misses and Disco hits the Chartbuster to win the title out of nowhere.
Rating: D+. I’ll spare you the obvious question of why they even bothered with Psychosis in the first place and get to the better question of why Disco. He’s still a glorified comedy character whose best matches usually get a response of “you know, he doesn’t suck as much as I thought.” You have Kidman, Guerrera, Mysterio, Malenko and even Psychosis to put the belt on but instead we get someone like Disco.
Oh and just after he wins the title, we IMMEDIATELY cut to an ad for Mayhem.
Sid is on the phone. I smell shenanigans.
The Outsiders come down the stands with drinks in hand. This would be Nash’s first appearance since August and Hall’s first since…..I think March? Heenan asks where they’ve been and Hall says they’ve been at the party down there. Nash is retired, which Hall describes as “working a requirement angle”. They’ll be back and put the band back together once the locker room is fun again. This comes off as more of Russo’s “WE’RE SHOOTING” stuff that is interesting for about five minutes and then turns into a big mess with the fans asking “can’t we just watch wrestling?”
Sid Vicious vs. Brian Adams
Adams is out of the KISS gimmick but still has the Demon pants on. He hammers Sid from behind to start and scores with a suplex. Naturally Sid isn’t going to sell that so Adams clotheslines him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Sid ducks his head, allowing Adams to hit a quick jumping piledriver. Of course Robinson can’t count because Rick Steiner runs out and helps with the beating. Adams fights Sid off and tilt-a-whirl slams Steiner, only to have Sid come back in for a double powerbomb and a fast count. That makes Sid 120-0, though Adams got in WAY more offense than most people do against Sid.
Jerry Flynn vs. Goldberg
During the entrances, we go split screen so Sid can rant about his car. Flynn rakes the eyes to start and is promptly kicked right in the face. A pumphandle slam drops Jerry again as the rest of the First Family comes out for a distraction. Goldberg is knocked outside to get beaten on for a bit (why isn’t this just a three on one handicap match to make this move faster? Oh right: because WCW is stupid enough to put Morrus and Knobbs in the Tag Team Title hunt instead of ANYONE ELSE), including a whip into the steps.
Morrus adds an elbow from the apron and even the referee can’t be bothered to care about these two schmucks. The referee sends them to the back, allowing Goldberg to counter a cross armbreaker and hit the two moves for the win. You know, people remember these two fighting a lot but it really didn’t happen all that often. They only fought four times on Nitro in nearly two years, with a year and a half in between two of them. Goldberg and Morrus had at least three matches so it’s not a huge stretch.
Goldberg promises to destroy Sid.
Brad Armstrong tells Berlyn to speak English, end of scene.
Here’s Harlem Heat for a chat about their upcoming title defense against Brian Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. There’s so much wrong with that idea that I don’t even know where to start. The match is going to be on like a pot of neckbone, but Booker has to stop for a Wolfpack chant. He tells the Outsiders that they’re not getting the belts but the First Family comes out for a brawl. Knobbs hits Booker in the head with a chair and Morrus gets Stevie down for No Laughing Matter. The First Family leaves with the belts. As usual, decent story, completely wrong cast.
Nitro Girls search time. Baltimore can’t get here soon enough.
Goldberg gets in his car and leaves. I’m sure this won’t go badly for Sid whatsoever.
Benoit says he misses Owen and brings up getting his start in Stampede Wrestling. They’re really making this feel special tonight.
Brad Armstrong vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig chops away in the corner but gets hiptossed and dropkicked out to the floor. Back in and Hennig chops the skin off Brad’s chest but walks into a pair of atomic drops. The Rednecks come in but eat right hands, only to have the Germans come out for a distraction. The bodyguard nails Brad in the back of the head, sending him right into the HennigPlex for the pin. It really took FIVE PEOPLE to beat Brad Armstrong? That’s seriously what we’re going with here?
The Germans beat Armstrong up again post match.
Mysterio goes into the showers to get Kidman for his match. Kidman comes out and Torrie Wilson follows him. Rey looks impressed.
Sid gives the attendant his car keys. Why the same attendant works in two different cities isn’t explained.
Juventud Guerrera vs. Kidman
Here’s another match that could be for the Cruiserweight Title. They trade forearms to start until Kidman suplexes him down for two. A Stunner on the top rope drops Kidman as the announcers talk about Kidman and Torrie in the shower. Kidman suplexes Juvy to the floor and adds a dropkick as he gets back inside. Juvy comes back with a DDT out of a fireman’s carry and drops a People’s Elbow. I had forgotten about the Juvy Rock phase. Juvy says he knows our role as we take a break.
Back with Kidman charging into an elbow but snapping off a powerslam (very common move no matter what size people are) for two. Juvy waves Psychosis down but misses a plancha and takes Psychosis down instead of Kidman. That’s fine with Kidman, who runs to the top and dives onto both guys. This isn’t as good as it sounds though as they’re just doing spots without the energy that made their old matches so good.
Back in again and Kidman dropkicks him out of the air but Juvy counters a powerbomb (double gimmick infringement!) into a Juvy Driver attempt, which is countered into a suplex, which is countered into a bulldog from Guerrera. The 450 misses and Kidman hits a Sky High but has to go after Psychosis again. Cue Mysterio to argue with Psychosis, but the distraction lets Juvy hit the Driver off the top for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was more about advancing the feud between the Animals and the loose stable of luchadors, which isn’t really going anywhere as Psychosis isn’t quite the same level as the other three. Granted he might have gotten closer to that spot had they just let him stay Cruiserweight Champion but that might make too much sense.
Juvy and Psychosis get beaten down post match.
Sid has his assistant park his car in Goldberg’s parking space.
Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit
Both are faces here and Benoit’s TV Title isn’t on the line. Harley Race does the intros to make this really special. Bret grabs a headlock to start before they fight over a top wristlock. Hart holds the ropes to avoid a monkey flip but Benoit nips up before Bret can do anything. Very technical so far. Chris bridges out of a test of strength and wraps Bret’s arms across his own throat to get a breather.
A hammerlock has Bret on the mat and the fans chant for Owen. Off to a double arm crank on Hart but Bret reverses into one of his own. Thankfully Bret is actually holding Chris’ wrists unlike Scott Hall who would be keeping himself in the hold whenever that was reversed. Benoit flips out with a dropkick to the chest but gets caught in a Russian legsweep to put him down again.
We hit the chinlock from Hart followed by a hard knee to the ribs to drop Chris one more time. A DDT sets up the middle rope elbow for two for Hart but Benoit grabs a rollup for two. He doesn’t let go of the legs though and turns it into a Boston crab. Bret is quickly in the ropes but gets caught in a backbreaker for two as we take a break.
Back with Benoit getting two off something we didn’t see but Bret comes back with the headbutt to the lower abdomen. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock by the Hitman as things settle down a bit. Another backbreaker puts Benoit on the mat and Bret rams him into the apron. Back in and Benoit spins out of another backbreaker and hits a jumping tombstone for two. A northern lights suplex gets another two for Chris and he fires off the headbutts.
Benoit stomps away in the corner but Bret holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick and a few elbows get two. Bret charges but his cross body hits the ropes to send him outside. Chris hits a big dive through the ropes to put both guys down and we take our second break. Back again with both guys rolling each other up for two followed by Bret stomping away in the corner. They trade rollups for two each again until Bret nails a swinging neckbreaker.
A superplex puts Benoit down but he counters the Sharpshooter into the Crossface but Bret is right next to the ropes. Chris rolls some vertical suplexes and calls for the Swan Dive. He goes to the furthest corner and nails the headbutt for a slightly delayed two. The fans chant for Bret and he comes back with an elbow to the jaw. A piledriver gets two on Benoit as he puts his foot on the ropes.
Benoit gets to do Bret’s chest first bump into the corner but comes out with some hard chops. Bret tries a clothesline but gets caught in the Rolling Germans. The Crossface is blocked and they go to the mat with Bret maneuvering his legs so that he stands up in the Sharpshooter. The fans freak out over that awesome trap by Bret and Benoit has to give up.
Rating: A. This was an excellent wrestling match. Bret worked over the back to set up the Sharpshooter and Benoit tried everything he knew but at the end of the day it was Bret winning with a counter to Benoit’s best hold and a very smooth move into the Sharpshooter. That’s exactly what it was supposed to be and it was more than an awesome match. The crowd respected it too. This is the last great match that WCW had and the last time Bret was actually motivated in a wrestling ring. If you haven’t seen this one before, go check it out to see what great wrestling can do.
Race gets in the ring and everyone hugs and poses before walking out together.
Gene calls out Flair and Hogan, who thankfully come out one at a time. Hogan has to limp down because of the knee injury from last week. They praise each other and my stomach is starting to churn. Hogan says Flair is the best of all time and Flair wants to join Hulkamania. Tonight, Hogan wants to see Flair style and profile. It’s a bad sign when modern day TNA pays better attention to character development and history than this company does.
Sid is in the empty parking space. “I’ve got him now.”
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell
Bagwell mocks Page’s catchphrases to start, saying he’s going to two time, two time, two time beat Page down. Page charges right into a clothesline to start and gets dropkicked out to the floor. Back in and Page can’t hook a powerbomb but does kick Buff low to take over again. A low elbow sets up a stomping in the corner and we hit the chinlock. With his offense running low, Bagwell lands another clothesline and his swinging neckbreaker. Page avoids the Blockbuster though and floats over Bagwell into the Diamond Cutter for the fast pin.
A kid is looking at a window when a horse flies up. Dustin Rhodes is dressed all in black and that’s it.
Hulk Hogan/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package
Tony even has to acknowledge the fans cheering for Sting. Hogan has a big brace on his knee but is fine from last week’s attack otherwise. It’s a brawl to start with Sting and Hogan heading outside while the others fight inside. Hogan is whipped into the barricade as Luger and Flair fight outside.
Tony keeps calling Total Package Luger because it’s such a stupid name change. I can’t even say gimmick change because it’s literally the same guy with a different name. Things settle down with Sting stomping on Flair in the corner but missing a dropkick. As usual, there’s nothing about Sting that would make you think he’s a heel. Sting slams him off the top and it’s off to Luger for a powerslam.
Back to Sting for a chinlock as the fans chant for Hogan. Notice how he keeps moving around on the apron. This is something the bigger stars usually do and you can see Cena do it today. You can do so much to keep a crowd into things while standing on the apron. Pace up and down, reach for tags, shout encouragement. Let the fans know that you CARE about what’s going on at the moment.
Luger prevents a tag to Hogan and Sting gorilla presses Flair down again. A running splash hits knees though and it’s finally off to Hogan. We go old school with right hands and a double noggin knocker, followed by a double clothesline to put both villains down. Page runs in and gets sent into Luger, who blindly Racks him. Hogan hits the big boot and legdrop to pin Sting. Seeing him hug Flair is just wrong on so many levels.
Rating: D+. Standard main event tag here with the champ getting pinned to add to the pay per view match’s build. This is wrestling booking 101, but it’s still really uninteresting stuff. Seeing these four guys fighting while I could be watching the rise of HHH and Rock near or at his peak and the tag teams tearing the house down really doesn’t appeal to me and that seemed to be the opinion of the masses.
Sid goes to his parking space and finds his car crushed into a metal block. If this is supposed to make me watch the match, go back to Charles Robinson needing counting lessons.
Overall Rating: B. By far and away the best show they’ve had in a long time, though most of that is due to the awesome Bret vs. Benoit match. The rest of the show certainly isn’t bad though as a lot of the bad matches were kept short. The Sid vs. Goldberg battle of the garage stuff is getting REALLY old just two weeks in. I’m actually not sure how Sid’s plan made sense and I assure you it wasn’t much clearer on screen. I guess it was supposed to be Goldberg’s car but someone made a switch? This shouldn’t be so complicated. Anyway, best show in months if not years here, but it feels like a one off improvement.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – February 23, 2015: Saying The Same Things In Different Voices
Monday Night Raw Date: February 23, 2015
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re less than five weeks away from Wrestlemania XXXI and the main event of Brock Lesnar defending his WWE World Title against Roman Reigns is set in stone as Reigns defeated Daniel Bryan last night at Fast Lane. Other than that, it seems that most of last night’s matches were designed to set up rematches at some point between now and Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence. That’s not something you see to open the show very often anymore.
Here’s Randy Orton to open the show to a VERY loud pop for the first time in four months after a Curb Stomp made him think he was Steve Austin in the sequel to a movie that didn’t do well enough to warrant a sequel eight years later. He says he isn’t here to deliver a twenty minute speech but he has to get something off his chest. He’s been gone for the last four months and we see a clip from November of Orton taking a Curb Stomp onto the table and another on the steps.
Orton is here to tell the Authority that he’s just getting started. There will be no more running and hiding for Seth Rollins, because Orton wants him out here right now. Instead he gets HHH, Stephanie, Big Show and Kane, none of whom look happy. Stephanie congratulates him on another comeback and starts a Randy chant. Orton says he isn’t part of the team anymore but she’s willing to forgive him. The offer of a handshake gets a no so Big Show says joining the Authority was the best decision he ever made and it would be the best one Orton can make. I’m pretty sure Show’s best decision ever was filming Vince having sex with a goat. How else can you validate his continued pushes over the years?
Back to Stephanie for her evil voice as she talks about all the things Orton has done over the years, including even some things to her. And you KNOW it’s serious when someone challenges Stephanie because she’s the most amazing thing in the history of ever right? Apparently there’s going to be a business conference on this subject later in case this segment didn’t beat it over your head hard enough.
The Authority goes to leave but this segment has only gone on for thirteen minutes so it’s not done yet. Orton says he’ll be there and drops the mic, so now it’s over. What an odd way to stretch it out even more. By that I mean it adds a little something else to the story and isn’t just the same thing over and over again. This segment was exactly what gets old fast: just filling in time with the same things being said in different voices until we get to the conclusion.
Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title even though Barrett doesn’t have his title belt after Ambrose stole it last night. Barrett’s entrance takes us to a break and we come back with him in mid-promo, talking about how he’s still the real champion. R-Truth is on commentary to actually tie things into his win last week. Ziggler cranks on a wristlock to start but Barrett takes him down into a chinlock.
Dolph fights up and grabs a quick neckbreaker, followed by an elbow drop for two. The champ sends him hard into the buckle for a near fall of his own before just punching Ziggler in the face. Back up and Barrett misses a big boot, tying himself up on the top rope. A dropkick sends Barrett out to the floor and us to a break. Back with Ziggler charging into the corner for right hands to the head of his own. He counters Wasteland into a DDT for two before walking into a big boot to the face.
Barrett almost falls down on a powerbomb attempt for two but the Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup for two more. Both guys miss a bunch of stuff in a fast sequence, capped off by Winds of Change getting two. The announcers freak out about R-Truth trending on Twitter as Ziggler avoids a charge into the post, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 11:07.
Rating: C-. The match was decent but I’m out of complaints to make about how the Intercontinental Title is being killed. Somehow, the fact that Ambrose has stolen it makes the belt look better than it has in months. Barrett has now lost to R-Truth, Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler in five weeks. Imagine that happening to any WWE World Champion and watch WWE change course immediately. Instead they cranking it up, and unfortunately I have a feeling Barrett will walk out with the title while the announcers claim he’s proven something.
Ambrose comes out to hold the title in Barrett’s face but Bad News doesn’t do anything. Ziggler stares down Ambrose and the title.
We look back at Sting and HHH’s confrontation last night with Booker T. bringing up DX invading WCW back in 1998.
It’s time for the business conference in the back with Rollins and Orton present. She yells at Rollins for thinking this is about him and tells Kane off for not looking at the bigger picture. Stephanie welcomes him back with open arms and Orton shakes Rollins’ hand. This would be more wasting time as everyone and their mother knows those two are fighting at Wrestlemania. Stephanie makes Orton/Rollins vs. Bryan/Reigns for tonight.
Sheamus is returning.
Prime Time Players vs. Ascension
Before the match, Ascension says the newest inductees into the Hall of Fame, the Bushwhackers, wouldn’t last four seconds with them. Viktor pounds on Young in the corner to start and a big elbow knocks Darren into the ropes. A double shoulder gets two on Young and a double slam gets the same with Titus making the save. Everything breaks down and Titus is knees out to the floor, but Darren small packages Viktor for the pin and Ascension’s first loss at 3:07.
Rating: D-. Good grief pick someone to be in the tag division already. We’ve tried the Prime Time Players already and that went nowhere, so now we’re pushing them again because Young is back? I know WWE hates to admit it, but Young is one of the least interesting people on the roster. Ascension could have been an interesting change of pace had they not been massacred by commentary and old guys, but WWE never has been the best at thinking ahead.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He’s been on a huge ride lately and it all started back at the Royal Rumble. It wasn’t enough to go through 29 other superstars though and he had to beat Daniel Bryan last night, but that’s exactly what he did. Now he’s going to Wrestlemania, which the fans don’t seem to have a problem with.
Before he can go on, here’s Daniel Bryan to interrupt. Bryan talks about the doubters who don’t believe in Roman Reigns. He saw Reigns win the Royal Rumble (fans aren’t too thrilled with that) but somehow, he felt like all of these people. Inside, he booed and booed because a lot of people see potential in Reigns, but Bryan is the biggest Reigns doubter of them all. He sees all the strength and athletic ability in Reigns but he’s seen so many people with those attributes but no heart.
That heart is why people like Daniel Bryan but don’t like Roman Reigns. However, last night, Bryan gave it everything he had but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t from a lack of trying, but due to Reigns just being too much for him. Last night, Reigns showed how much heart he had and it was enough to beat him. Bryan shakes his hand and says he’d love to team with Reigns later tonight. Now go beat up Brock Lesnar in the main event of Wrestlemania. Bryan leaves and here’s Paul Heyman to talk to Reigns.
Paul comes to the ring and shakes Reigns’ hand for having a great main event and victory last night. He isn’t really surprised though because his money would always be on Roman Reigns against any man Reigns ever fought. Reigns vs. Sammartino in 1975, Reigns vs. Hogan and Andre in 1987, Reigns vs. Austin in 1998, Reigns vs. Rock in 1999, Reigns vs. HHH in 2000, Reigns vs. Cena anytime in the past thirteen years, Heyman would bet on Roman. His money was on Reigns at the Royal Rumble and it was on him again last night.
However, Reigns isn’t fighting a man at Wrestlemania, because he’s fighting a beast. Reigns has Heyman’s respect, but he can’t slay the beast. He can’t be the one to beat the one in 21-1. Couldn’t you argue that the one in 21-1 is Punk, as he’s the last victory and therefore number 21? At the end of the night, the ring announcer will proclaim Brock Lesnar still WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
Reigns asks why Heyman isn’t standing in front of him. He tells Heyman to keep motivating him like this because Paul was there when Reigns went face to face with Lesnar after the Royal Rumble. Lesnar better respect him, because he isn’t going to like him much after Wrestlemania. This was the latest hard sell for Wrestlemania, but I’m really hoping Lesnar wins at this point, just for the shock of it. Reigns triumphing after being set up as the conqueror doesn’t work that well.
Tag Team Titles: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos
This is the Usos’ rematch after Kidd and Cesaro took the belts last night. Cesaro quickly takes Jimmy into the corner for a tag to Kidd before taking Jimmy outside, setting up a dropkick through the ropes from Tyson. Jey runs around and climbs the steps for a clothesline to drop Cesaro. They stay outside with Kidd hiding behind his wife and sending Jimmy face first into the apron. Back in and it’s Cesaro hammering Jimmy for two as things finally settle down.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jimmy dives over and tags Jey. Everything breaks down all over again with the Usos catching Kidd diving off the apron and throw him into the barricade. Cesaro gets backdropped on the floor as well before Jimmy gets two off a high cross body. Back from a break with Jey in trouble until he blocks Kidd’s springboard elbow drop by raising his knees. Cesaro drops him with an uppercut for two though and the champs maintain control.
The Cesaro Swing into the dropkick gets two and JBL says these two have been the best teams in the company for the past year. Jey finally catches Cesaro with an electric chair drop, setting up Jimmy’s Superfly Splash, only to have Kidd break it up with another springboard elbow. Apparently Kidd is legal, despite the lack of a tag. A spinning enziguri takes Kidd down and sets up the running Umaga Attack, which only hits buckle. Naomi breaks up Tyson’s rollup with feet on the ropes and the girls get into it outside. Natalya crotches Jimmy though and that’s a DQ at 10:30.
Rating: C+. Not as good as last night’s match but it still worked well enough. That being said, I don’t need to see a third match between these guys, especially after a clean pin last night and a DQ here. Kidd and Cesaro could be good champions but they need a deeper division to defend against. Like Ascension for example, but we need to push Darren Young instead of building them up.
Miz is in the back and yells at Mizdow for packing his bag wrong. The only title he hasn’t won so far is the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, which would mean even more star power. That’s what Mizdow wants to talk to him about: ever since he’s been hired as a personal assistant, he’s been getting calls from casting directors and one of them has made Mizdow a spokesman in a commercial. Miz isn’t pleased and has Mizdow lint roll his jacket. These two are pretty easily the best written characters on the show.
We look back at Bray Wyatt popping out of a casket and making it known that he wants Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Wyatt is standing next to a casket and says this time of year must be hard for Undertaker as he’s thinking about 21-1. This casket signals the end of Undertaker’s career as he’s been reduced to a pile of broken bones and broken dreams on the grandest stage of them all. The evil that used to exist inside Undertaker now resides in him. It’s so much better down here, so come find him.
Jack Swagger vs. Stardust
Stardust is back in the full body attire after having just tights last night. They slug it out to start with Stardust hitting the drop to the mat right hand. The Swagger Bomb doesn’t work but Stardust dives into the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere but cue Goldust for a distraction and a second Patriot Lock is good for the submission at 1:58.
Here’s Cena to talk about his loss last night. On the last stop on the Road to Wrestlemania, he took Rusev to his greatest limits. Cena knew he was going to be the first man to break the “Acolyte”, but he never got the chance. A low blow put him down and he was never able to break the hold, but he never gave up.
Cena is fine with losing, but he’s not fine with the way it happened. He calls Rusev a coward and here are the Russians. Lana says they told him so because just like all Americans, Cena gave up. Since last night, they’ve been receiving messages of congratulations from Putin. Last night, Rusev proved that no one can beat him so Cena needs to admit that he was defeated, just like the United States. That gets Cena’s dander up but Lana shows stills of Cena passing out in the Accolade.
Cena says his life is a lie when he refuses to get up, but he’s going to keep going until he gets the job done. That’s what he does and it’s what America does too: they keep getting up when they have to fight. If Putin is congratulating them, he should be embarrassed. Seventy years ago, the flag was raised at Iwo Jima because that’s what America does.
Cena is going to bring the US Title home to the United States because he’s going to beat Rusev at Wrestlemania. Rusev asks why Cena deserves a rematch and turns him down. This is FINALLY doing the story they should have done all along. Not eye injuries or Cena is old. USA vs. those horrible Soviet scums. It’s worked for like, ever, and it’s going to work now.
We recap the Orton vs. Rollins stuff from earlier.
Rollins and the Stooges come in to see Orton to talk some strategy for tonight. Orton says tonight is about taking care of Bryan and Reigns, which Rollins agrees with. Not much to this segment.
Paige comes out for a match before the break, but instead we come back for a profile on Sting. It’s your usual profile with the talking heads, but we also get a big feature on the war with the NWO. There’s a quick mention at the end of the feud with HHH to tie it together.
Bella Twins vs. Paige/Emma
Paige tries to go after Nikki but gets shoved to the floor, allowing Brie to hit the Bella Buster on Emma for the pin at 30 seconds.
JBL thinks Paige will be back if she can find another friend. Maybe someone who could light it up with her?
Bushwhackers Hall of Fame video. There are some shots of them as the Sheepherders but no mention of the team by name.
Here’s Curtis Axel, now with a Hulkamania style Axelmania shirt. He was never eliminated from the match and how now lasted an unprecedented 29 days in the match. Axel enters himself into the Andre the Giant battle royal and says you can’t stop Axelmania.
Ryback vs. Curtis Axel
Axel’s offer for a handshake is ignored and Ryback brings up their time as a tag team. They were one of the best teams of all time, but only Ryback will be winning the battle royal. Meat Hook and Shell Shock end Axel in 44 seconds.
Seth Rollins/Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan
Before the match we get a package on Rollins’ feud with the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart. Rollins gives a big over the top introduction for Randy, prompting everyone in his corner to applaud. Bryan and Rollins get things going with Bryan quickly trying the surfboard, sending Rollins running over for a tag. Reigns comes in as well and runs Orton over, only to charge into a dropkick. It’s back to Bryan as they start working on Orton’s arm and shoulder. The backbreaker makes its return to put Bryan down but he’s able to backdrop Rollins to the floor. The Authority huddles up as we take a break.
Back with Reigns in trouble and Rollins putting on a chinlock. Reigns slams him down to escape and dives over for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel speeds things up but the YES Kick is countered into a rollup. That’s countered into the YES Lock but Orton makes the save. Reigns and Orton are sent to the floor with Rollins being sent out on the other side, setting up the Flying Goat.
The Stooges’ distraction lets Rollins crotch Bryan on top, allowing Orton to load up a superplex. Big Show’s applause isn’t enough though and Bryan punches Randy down. The flying headbutt misses though and it’s a double tag to bring in Rollins and Reigns. The Samoan flapjack sets up the Superman Punch to Mercury, allowing Seth to enziguri Reigns down.
Another tag brings in Orton for the Elevated DDT but Rollins tags himself in. That’s not cool with Orton as he DDTs Reigns anyway but goes outside to yell at Big Show and Kane. Reigns avoids the Curb Stomp and hits the Superman Punch, only to have Bryan tag himself in, setting up the running knee for the pin on Seth at 16:13. Reigns didn’t seem to mind Bryan taking the pin.
Rating: C. Standard main event tag match here with the ending that everyone was expecting in one form or another. I’m glad Reigns vs. Bryan didn’t start up again as that story needs to stay done. Orton coming back is a big deal and that’s exactly what it needs to be focused on. His match with Rollins at Wrestlemania should be awesome if they can do what they should, and this was a decent enough way to set it up.
Post match Orton loads up the Punt on Rollins but stops to RKO Noble. Orton picks Rollins up in the corner….and leaves so the announcers can plug the Network’s first birthday to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a really tricky one to grade as they went straight into Wrestlemania mode and basically jettisoned every boring method of storytelling they had been doing for months beforehand. That being said, it’s still not the most interesting stuff in the world to set up.
This just doesn’t feel like a good or interesting Wrestlemania, especially given how quickly they have to build to it. Five weeks just isn’t enough time to do a proper build, especially after weeks of sitting through most of the same stories in the buildup to Fast Lane. This show was all about storytelling, and it has to be given how little time they have left.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Bad News Barrett – Zig Zag
Prime Time Players b. Ascension – Small package to Viktor
Usos b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro via DQ when Natalya interfered
Jack Swagger b. Stardust – Patriot Lock
Bella Twins b. Paige/Emma – Bella Buster to Emma
Ryback b. Curtis Axel – Shell Shock
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Randy Orton – Running knee to Rollins
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: February 16, 2015
Will not be posted. I started writing it up and it became clear that there wasn’t much else to talk about with the show. Last week’s episode pretty much speaks for itself as it’s clear there’s no need for Fast Lane to exist. I’ll spare you guys from three pages of “remember this? Well it did in fact happen and it does in fact mean very little.”
Fast Lane 2015: The Best Commercial I’ve Ever Seen
Fast Lane 2015 Date: February 22, 2015
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the final major show before Wrestlemania XXXI and I’ve yet to find someone who really wants to see this show. The big story tonight is finding out who is going to be in the main event against Brock Lesnar, as well as if Sting is going to accept HHH’s likely challenge for a match at the biggest show of the year. Gee I wonder what his answer is going to be. Let’s get to it.
There’s no pre-show match this month but we do have MizTV with special guest Paul Heyman. Before Heyman comes out though, Miz tells Mizdow to go sit in the corner. Miz was supposed to be at the Oscars but the Academy got Dwayne Johnson to fill in for him. He explains Reigns vs. Bryan for later tonight and here’s Heyman. Paul suggests that Miz is terrified of Lesnar being here because he’s not a good enough actor to hide that fear.
Brock is NOT here tonight, but Miz can’t get off that insult to his acting abilities. He brings up his win in the main event of Wrestlemania (he’s going to catch Jericho’s “I beat Rock and Austin in one night” at this pace) as a qualification for being able to ask who Lesnar wants to face this year. Miz talks up Bryan’s wins last year and Heyman understands how hot Bryan is right now, but he doesn’t think Brock would be worried.
Heyman gets freaked out by Mizdow sitting in the corner so Miz makes his employee face the corner. This gets Mizdow on his feet but Miz shouts him down again. Now we get back to the main event of Wrestlemania with Heyman repeating all of his lines about Reigns from the last few weeks.
The fans cut him off with a Mizdow chant so Heyman actually starts all over again. That’s one way to get some heat. Heyman talks about the YES chants at Wrestlemania that will be silenced by Brock Lesnar, and you can believe that Reigns will go down as well. Paul rolls his eyes as he leaves. This felt like total filler since there aren’t enough matches to go around.
The opening video has a computerized car theme, talking about speed and velocity while focusing on the two main events.
Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback vs. Seth Rollins/Kane/Big Show
This was announced on WWE.com earlier in the week. Rowan now has a big R on his coveralls. Ziggler and Rollins get things going as the fans chant for Ryback. Dolph escapes a headlock and counters a powerbomb into a sunset flip. Cole brings up Rollins bringing up the Daily Show and Jon Stewart actually responding to him. A nice dropkick staggers Rollins and it’s off to Rowan to work on the arm.
That’s not enough for Rowan so he hooks a pumphandle backbreaker for two. I’ve always liked pumphandle moves and could go for more of them. Kane comes in for the battle of boring big men and Rowan slams him down, followed by a legdrop for no cover. A nice jumping middle rope back elbow gets two on Kane but he drives Rowan into the corner for the tag to Big Show.
The villains take Rowan to the floor where he spinwheel kicks the post by mistake. Another FEED ME MORE chant starts up as Lawler makes easy bald jokes about Big Show. Back in and Kane stomps Rowan in the corner before it’s off to Rollins to stomp on the leg. A Blockbuster gets two more and Big Show comes back in to keep control. He hooks the Lasso From El Paso to actually show some psychology but just lets go for some reason. Rowan counters a chokeslam and plants Show with a DDT but Rollins breaks up the tag attempt.
Erick gets up though and spinwheel kicks Seth down with the bad leg. The hot tag brings in Ryback as things speed up but Rollins avoids the Warrior splash. The Curb Stomp is countered into a powerbomb but Kane takes the Meathook. There’s the low superkick for two on Ryback but another Blockbuster is countered into Shell Shock but Big Show makes the save. It’s off to Ziggler for a jumping DDT on Kane for two but Rollins interference allows Big Show to knock Ziggler cold, giving Kane the pin at 13:00.
Rating: B. The man is Mr. Money in the Bank and possibly the future of the company and he’s now running interference for Big Show and Kane to get the glory as they pin one of the most popular guys in this company. This was your basic Smackdown main event, meaning it was entertaining enough and a good choice for a PPV opener. I’m totally sick of this story, but at least it’s a good enough match.
The beating continues post match (picture any Smackdown……if anyone actually watches that show) but Orton FINALLY returns and cleans house, sending Rollins running away. He goes all the way into the parking lot and presumably drives away though we don’t see him get in a car.
We recap Stardust vs. Goldust, which is due to their issues as a tag team. Their father Dusty Rhodes tried to settle things on Monday but Stardust attacked his brother, setting up this match.
Dusty is in the back with Goldust and asks him not to hurt Cody too badly tonight. Goldust talks about going to the shows with Cody to watch Dusty in the ring. Tonight, he’s facing Stardust though, and he has to beat him so badly that the thought of painting his face and putting on a costume will make Cody sick. He isn’t leaving without Cody tonight.
Stardust vs. Goldust
Stardust is now in star tights and no shirt. Goldust shoves him out of the corner to start and neither guy seems comfortable to be out there. They trade hiptosses and Stardust hides in the corner for some polite applause. An atomic drop and right hand have Stardust in more trouble but Stardust escapes the Curtain Call. We see a nervous Dusty watching in the back. Goldust clotheslines him out to the floor before loading up Shattered Dreams, only to have Stardust bail to the apron.
Back in and Stardust finally gets some energy into the match and stomps away, taking it back to the floor. This isn’t very interesting so far but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Back in and we hit a bodyscissors on Goldust before a rollup gets two for Stardust. A slap to the back sets up another body vise as the fans can’t decide who to cheer for. Goldust misses a springboard elbow but counters Cross Rhodes into a bad looking crucifix for two, which is called three in what looked to be a botched ending at 10:00. The referee’s hand only hit the mat twice.
Rating: D. I think they were going for Goldust not wanting to do this, but it came off as much more boring and dull than anything else. At the end of the day, these sort of matches don’t hold up for me with neither guy wanting to do much and clearly just being there to set up another match down the line. Nothing to see here other than a good looking change of outfit for Stardust, who wound up losing.
We see Jon Stewart of the Daily Show responding to Seth Rollins. Seth has made a big mistake by coming after the Daily Show and even J and J Security can’t get him out of it. Stewart is coming for him.
Rollins says he’s not hard to find and welcomes Stewart to Fast Lane or any Raw he has time to come to.
Goldust and Dusty are in the back and hope it’s over but Stardust comes in and destroys his brother. He yells at Dusty that he was the black sheep of the family before nailing Goldust again.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
The Usos are defending after Cesaro and Kidd beat them in a non-title match. Naomi and Natalya are here as seconds. Jey takes Kidd down to start and holds him for a top rope shot to the chest from Jimmy. It’s off to Cesaro via a blind tag and he takes out Jimmy’s knee to take over. Kidd goes after the knee and Cesaro follows suit with a one legged swing.
Back to Kidd with a slingshot legdrop for two. Notice how much they’re mixing up the offense on the leg. You don’t have to take turns doing the same holds over and over again. Jimmy gets over for the tag to speed things up but Cesaro grabs a quick rollup for two. The running Umaga attack gets two on Cesaro but he crotches Jimmy on the top. Cesaro lifts Jimmy off the apron for a superplex, setting up the top rope elbow from Kidd for two.
Jey escapes the Sharpshooter and throws Kidd into the air for a Samoan drop from Jimmy, only to have Cesaro drag Kidd outside. That’s fine with Jimmy as he hits a huge dive. A Samoan drop drives Kidd into the barricade and all four are down outside. Back in and Jimmy’s Superfly Splash hits knees and Kidd slaps on the Sharpshooter. Jey makes the save and slugs it out with Cesaro but they fall to the floor. With Jimmy still shaken up, Kidd hits a quick fisherman’s neckbreaker for the pin and the titles at 9:35.
Rating: B-. Another good match here and I’m very pleased with the results. Kidd has gotten a lot better in the last few months and it’s nice to see him get rewarded for all the hard work. The Usos can only do their thing for so long before they need a freshening up and this might be such a chance. Another good result after another good match.
We recap Sting interrupting HHH at Survivor Series and then again on Raw a few months later, setting up their confrontation tonight.
HHH comes out in his leather jacket and jeans for a change. He brings up the meeting with Flair on Raw and calls out Sting right now, so here’s Sting in person. HHH knows why he’s here and thinks Sting is backing the wrong horse. Sting may have been WCW but he went down with the ship.
It was guys like HHH that made the ship go down in the first place because his family is what keeps the WWE alive. So HHH is now taking credit for killing WCW? He wasn’t even in the Winner Take All match. If Sting just walks away now, his legacy goes on. He can continue through DVDs and merchandise, and maybe even the Hall of Fame one day.
HHH takes off the jacket and says we can do it another way. He goes for a cheap shot but Sting lays him out, only to eat a microphone shot to the face. It’s sledgehammer time but Sting pulls out the ball bat. HHH throws the hammer down and Sting points the bat at the Wrestlemania sign. Sting turns away but hits HHH with the bat while he’s trying a cheap shot. The Death Drop leaves HHH laying. This was exactly what people expected but it worked well enough. The hammer vs. the bat was really cool to see.
We recap the pre-show edition of MizTV.
Quick recap of the Bellas embarrassing Paige.
Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella
Paige is challenging. Lillian screws up again and calls it the Women’s Title. Paige quickly takes it to the mat and Nikki rolls to the floor. A chase gets us back inside but Nikki knocks her right back to the floor. Back in again and we hit the chinlock before an Alabama Slam gets two on Paige.
Nikki charges into a boot in the corner before Paige hits the three straight clotheslines. A dropkick gets two and Paige kicks her in the face for the same. The Rampaige is countered into a facebuster but Paige pops right back up. Nikki counters a superplex into a nice powerbomb for two but has to crawl to the ropes to escape the PTO. In a fast ending, Nikki sends her into the buckle and grabs the trunks for the pin to retain at 5:37.
Rating: D+. Believe it or not, this wasn’t horrible, but I think most of that is due to Paige holding the thing together. The Bellas (they’re the same person in my eyes anyway) know how to do some decent looking moves, but they don’t know how to work a match. That’s a very big difference and it shows badly when they’re in there against well rounded wrestlers.
Cameron and Eva Marie are at the Oscars.
Sting vs. HHH is officially announced for Wrestlemania.
Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett
Ambrose pinned Barrett in a non-title match (join the freaking club) and literally forced him into signing a contract for a title match. Dean goes right after him to start but gets kicked off the top rope and out to the floor. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Barrett kicks him in the face again to stop Dean’s comeback. Back in and Dean scores with a tornado DDT before countering Winds of Change into a small package for two.
The standing elbow drop gets two more but Dean runs into Wasteland. They’re just trading signature moves right now. The Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup for two and Dean kicks him in the face for no cover. Barrett tries to bail but gets caught by a suicide dive. Dean pulls him back from the crowd and stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 7:46.
Rating: D. This felt like a Raw match to set up a pay per view match, reenforcing my theory that this show could have been broken up into a bunch of Raws instead of being its own pay per view. Nothing to see here and it was pretty clear about halfway through that it was going to be a screwy finish.
Dean hits Dirty Deeds and leaves with the title.
The lights go out and Undertaker’s druids come out with their torches. The gong strikes and two hooded men wheel out a casket. The casket opens up and it’s Bray Wyatt inside. He says he will never forget the first time that he saw him. He made Bray tremble with his cold eyes but now he’s just a shell of his former self. His soul is lost and it’s time to go home. Bray’s mission is clear because he doesn’t fear him anymore. At Wrestlemania, he will claim the Undertaker’s soul. Bray lays back down in the casket and the druids close it up.
The pre-show panel recap the evening so far.
We recap Cena vs. Rusev, which is based on the idea of Cena reaching the end of his career and being far weaker than he used to be. The eye injury has been forgotten in the span of a week.
US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena
Rusev is defending. They stall to start and the fans think Cena sucks. A big right hand drops Rusev so he kicks Cena in the face for two. The champ chokes him in the corner and nails a spinwheel kick for two more. A Jerry chant starts up as a fan takes pictures of Lana. Cena comes back with a dropkick for two of his own but Rusev hits a slightly worse dropkick for two more.
The fall away slam gets yet another near fall and Rusev slowly stomps away even more. Cena charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit the chinlock. A suplex puts Rusev down but the AA is countered with a DDT. Back up and Cena fires off right hands before starting his usual sequence. Another AA is countered into the jumping superkick for two. The STF doesn’t work either and Rusev hits a swinging Rock Bottom for two more.
Cena goes to the middle rope for a tornado DDT but still can’t put Rusev away. They slug it out and Rusev grabs the ropes to block another AA attempt. Cena pulls him into a Crossface (called an STF by Cole) but Rusev easily powers out and hits the second Alabama (Moscow?) Slam of the night. Some elbows to the back look to set up the Accolade but Cena blocks a stomp (it could have been the shouting of RUSEV CRUSH) and slaps on the STF.
Rusev finally grabs a rope and escapes the AA again but misses the superkick. Now the AA connects for two (I’m as shocked as you are) and both guys are spent. The top rope Fameasser misses though and Rusev hooks the Accolade. Cena has his knees under him though and powers up, only to have Lana offer a distraction so Rusev can kick him low. Another superkick to the face sets up the Accolade and Cena passes out at 19:00.
Rating: B. Good freaking grief STOP USING PAY PER VIEW TO SET UP REMATCHES. They’re making it as clear as they can that this show is just a big preview for Wrestlemania and they can claim “you didn’t have to pay for it.” Unless you’re loyal to WWE of course and actually bought the Network before the free month. This took some time to get going but finally took off about halfway through. Of course it sets up Cena’s big win at Wrestlemania, but this is a good win for Rusev. Granted it’s on a worthless show but at least it’s there.
Cena is dazed post match.
Kickoff panel recaps again.
We recap Reigns vs. Bryan, which is all about headlining Wrestlemania against Brock Lesnar. They started off respecting each other but it’s evolved into a game of topping each other to play mind games.
Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan
The previous match got big match intros but this didn’t get anything. Good sign in the crowd: PUNCH THAT HIPPIE! Bryan keeps getting down low on the mat to avoid Roman’s power in a smart move. A headlock slows Reigns down a bit but he counters into one of his own. Daniel goes for the leg and takes Reigns down into the surfboard but Reigns easily kicks him away. Roman stomps him down in the corner without showing a lot of aggression.
A nice tilt-a-whirl slam and clothesline put Bryan on the floor but he comes back with kicks to the leg to slow Reigns down again. That’s fine with Roman who just blasts Bryan with a right hand to the jaw as they’re getting a good story going here. Back up again and Reigns hits the jumping clothesline but misses a charge into the corner. Another clothesline turns Bryan inside out and Reigns starts rolling some pumphandle suplexes. The Superman Punch is countered with a kick to the ribs.
Some knees to the ribs have Reigns in even more trouble and the running corner dropkicks stagger him again. Bryan tries a top rope hurricanrana but gets caught in a superbomb for a close two as things are starting to get good. Reigns loads up a top rope superplex but gets crotched down, setting up a belly to back superplex to stay on the weakened midsection. The YES Lock goes on but Reigns gets the rope and bails to the floor.
Bryan hits back to back Flying Goats but tries once too often and gets belly to belly suplexed. The spear hits the steps though and Reigns barely beats the count back in. Bryan dives into something resembling the Superman Punch for two. The spear is countered into a rollup but the running knee only gets a very near fall. The YES Kicks have Reigns reeling but he blocks the big one.
Bryan slaps him in the face on one leg before pulling Reigns down into a YES Lock. Reigns turns it over and hammers away right hands to stun Bryan again. He lifts Bryan up into a powerbomb and both guys are down. Bryan’s legs are over Reigns but the referee doesn’t count it as a cover. Both guys sit up and Reigns hammers away with right hands so Bryan just unloads with kicks to the head to put him down again. Another running knee is countered with the spear though to send Reigns to Wrestlemania at 20:04.
Rating: A-. I actually really like that ending because storyline wise, Bryan has very little claim to a spot in the main event at Wrestlemania. This is the big win that Reigns needed to look like a star and he certainly delivered his half. They were telling a good story out there with Bryan trying to pick Reigns apart but eventually just getting run over by raw power. Excellent main event here and it did what it was supposed to do.
Bryan pokes Reigns in the chest and tells him to take out Lesnar at Wrestlemania. They shake hands and Bryan lets Reigns celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: B-. This show was good in spite of itself because of some really solid wrestling. Unfortunately, the total lack of need to have this show really hurts it though as this simply didn’t need to be a pay per view. Reigns should have eliminated Bryan last from the Rumble and the exact same things could have been accomplished on TV. The wrestling carried this, but there was no way to care about a lot of the stuff on this show. Think about it like this: other than the Tag Team Titles and the Divas, every match on here (or the post match segment) seemed to be to set up a future match. That’s inexcusable for a big time show.
Results
Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler/Ryback/Erick Rowan – Kane pinned Ziggler after a KO Punch from Big Show
Goldust b. Stardust – Crucifix
Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Usos – Fisherman’s neckbreaker to Jimmy
Nikki Bella b. Paige – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose wouldn’t stop stomping
Rusev b. John Cena – Accolade
Roman Reigns b. Daniel Bryan – Spear
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Lucha Underground – February 18, 2015: Come On You’re Better Than This
Lucha Underground Date: February 18, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro
The company has changed in a hurry as the major story has gone from Puma and Mundo having individual feuds against Cage to Alberto vs. Texano, which has the potential to be something entertaining. Other than that we might be ready to find out who is Pentagon’s boss, which could be almost anyone. Let’s get to it.
We open with a quick recap of last week’s show, including Ryck’s awesome threats to the Crew.
Mil Muertes vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.
No Catrina. This is over the debt that Muertes claims Chavo owes him after saving Blue Demon Jr. a few months back. Mil is sent outside but he quickly catches Chavo diving off the apron and drives him back first into the post. A dive takes Mil down again before Chavo takes him back inside to work on the knee. When did Guerrero turn face? He’s certainly wrestling like one here after caving in Sexy Star’s head with a chair. Vampiro: “Yeah this is a good idea. Tick off DEATH.”
Striker continues to be a step behind as he says Chavo seems to be focusing on the left leg. Given that it’s all he’s doing, I wouldn’t think anything SEEMS to be true here. Back up and Muertes punches Chavo in the face, only to be sent right back to the floor. Catrina slowly walks towards the ring as Muertes plants Chavo with an electric chair.
They’re playing up the idea that Mil isn’t himself without Catrina but he’s just naturally strong enough to muscle Chavo around. A backdrop sends Guerrero outside but Mil stops to look at Catrina, who has a rock which distracts him even more. Chavo comes in with a chair to the back for the DQ but Muertes doesn’t even move.
Rating: C. This was better than I was expecting and Muertes continues to be one of the more interesting characters. They’re really doing a good job of making him more of a tweener and Catrina makes things interesting as well. Granted she also makes them better looking but that could be because we can actually see her face.
Muertes gives Chavo a flatliner on the chair but Catrina won’t give Chavo the lick. Striker: “Defiance from the leather laden licker!” Just…..go away Striker. Muertes grabs her by the hair and then the throat but Fenix comes in to make the save. Catrina kisses Fenix and leaves with him as Striker continues to make the commentary more complicated than it should be.
Cueto praises the Crew for their actions and puts them in the main event tonight. If they want to stay there though, they need to prove that they can be violent like they were to Big Ryck all the time. Their opponents tonight: Pimpinela Escarlata, Mascarita Sagrada and Sexy Star in an anything goes six person tag. Cueto wants all three of them gone.
Son of Havoc and Ivelisse are in the ring and Ivelisse yells at him for losing all the time, meaning she’ll be fighting Angelico instead of Havoc.
Ivelisse vs. Angelico
Angelico checks some kicks to start but the camera jumps to Son of Havoc. So you would rather see a mask than a good looking woman? Good to know. A forearm is easily blocked and Angelico pins down both of her arms. He dips her back, much to Havoc’s annoyance, before allowing Ivelisse to kick him in the chest. Ivelisse goes to the middle rope and kicks Angelico in the face, finally ticking him off. Angelico just throws her into the air for a crash, prompting some breast implant jokes from Striker. Havoc finally kicks Angelico in the head, allowing Ivelisse to roll him up for a fast pin.
Post match Angelico hits on Ivelisse and shoves Havoc to the floor.
We get a sitdown interview with Texano, where he (in Spanish), talks about dominating AAA for two years (thankfully complete with clips) and is here to dominate Alberto. Vampiro doesn’t get a handshake and Texano looks like a star.
Texano vs. Super Fly
Texano speeds around the ring and catches Super Fly in the corner for some chops. A Rough Ryder gets two for Texano and an AA into a backbreaker on the knee, straight into a neckbreaker for the pin. Total “I’m here and awesome” squash.
Cue Alberto for the brawl and this time it’s Texano getting whipped with the bullrope. Referees quickly break it up but Striker suggests that the AAA World Title could be defending in Lucha Underground. That would indeed be a coup.
Cage comes into Cueto’s office and demands to be named Lucha Underground Champion. Instead he gets Puma in a non-title match next week. He also wants a good looking title belt when he wins it. Chavo Guerrero comes in and quits, but is told the doors are always open. Cueto really doesn’t seem to care, but says the gods aren’t going to be pleased.
The mystery woman finds whatever she’s looking for and says as a child, she wanted to kill it with her bare hands. Ok then.
The Crew vs. Pimpinela Escarlata/Mascarita Sagrada/Sexy Star
Anything goes. It’s a brawl to start with the Crew of course dominating and Escarlata starting against Castro. Some kendo stick shots have Pimpinela in early trouble and STOP CALLING HIM PIMPY! That sounds so stupid every time and doesn’t make me hate this character any less. Cisco kicks Escarlata out to the floor and nails Sagrada with a boot to the face.
Sagrada comes back with a top rope hurricanrana to take over before hitting a big dive to the floor. That just earns him another kick to the face before Castro sends him into the apron. Off to Castro vs. Star with the blonde taking a kick to the back of the head. Apparently Escarlata has been taken to the back, leaving Sagrada to get triple teamed. A curb stomp (not the running kind) onto a chair knocks the mini out cold and he’s taken out as well.
Since this is wrestling, Star is easily able to fight all of them off, including a low blow to Cisco. A tornado DDT to the floor plants Bael but Castro finally catches her with a running boot to the face. Star does the same to him before mostly botching a swinging fisherman’s neckbreaker. Cisco is back in and slams her down, only to get crotched on the top rope.
Her top rope hurricanrana eventually gets two but all three members of the Crew get back in for some destruction. Cue an eye patched Big Ryck though and things get serious in a hurry. Of course it’s just a distraction though, allowing Star to roll up Bael (with her feet under his shoulders) for the pin.
Rating: D. Blech. This was a big waste of time with the Crew getting beaten up WAY more than they should have and then losing on a fluke at the end. All three guys are still completely interchangeable and I was still having issues figuring out which one was which. Sexy Star deserves better than this and Escarlata still gets annoying in a hurry every time he’s out there.
Overall Rating: D+. They went with the B crew here and it really didn’t work for them. It was almost all about midcard stuff and that doesn’t make for a good show in this company. They have the kind of stars that can put on a good effort, but I need more Texano vs. Alberto and a lot less freakshow tag. This was a misstep for them, but the fact that it wasn’t their top lineup takes away a lot of the sting. We’ll call this one an aberration and move on.
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It says a lot that I had completely forgotten this show was tomorrow night. Fast Lane is a show that really doesn’t need to exist and most of these matches could have easily been done as big time Raw main events over the course of a few weeks. Instead though they need a way to bulk up the Network subscriptions, and to be fair the free month for Survivor Series was an amazing success. This show really isn’t doing much for me though so let’s get to it.
We’ll start with the match recently added: a six man tag between Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins vs. Ryback/Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan. This match makes sense because the Survivor Series WILL NEVER DIE. It was also odd that you had these six guys all sitting around doing nothing so why not just get a big tag match to put them all on the show? It’s definitely the most logical move they could go with and avoids repeats of singles matches we’ve already seen for a change.
As for the winners, of course it’s the Authority, because we have to keep Big Show and Kane looking strong see. Oh and that Rollins guy gets to get a nice rub too. Rollins hasn’t had much to do since the Rumble and it really goes to show you how up and down the booking is. Yeah he’s beaten Ziggler a few times, but who hasn’t at this point? Rowan is done to say the least, but Ryback has been treated as a pretty big deal since he’s been back. Still though, the Authority wins and they win without much trouble.
I’ll take Stardust over Goldust, likely setting up a Wrestlemania rematch for Goldust’s career. The guy has been around forever and would be excellent for an agent’s job. Stardust needs a win to establish himself as a singles guy, which could be interesting if they let him run with it.
Usos retain the titles because Cesaro and Kidd are just there to give the smarks something to cheer for. Not that it matters anyway as the Ascension is waiting in the wings to take the belts. I wouldn’t mind a more interesting story for the titles, but at least it’s based on something that happened in WWE rather than the stupid reality show.
Ambrose somehow loses the title shot because Barrett has lost almost everything leading up to this match, so why not just let him keep the title? Besides, Ambrose hasn’t won on pay per view since….well since the Shield was around actually. Couple that with him not winning a singles pay per view match since Night of Champions 2013 and there’s no reason to think he should win tomorrow night.
Speaking of horrible stories that make my soul hurt and have no basis in logic or reasoning while involving babbling morons who are a disgrace to their far more talented NXT counterparts but fill out tight tops and shorts better and therefore are more entitled to a spot on the main roster, Nikki retains the title over Paige because TOTAL DIVAS MEANS THEY’RE SO TOTALLY CELEBRITIES and since that show is about the Bellas, they’re more important than Paige. Or something.
I’ll actually take Rusev to keep the title, albeit not in a straight finish. This screams Wrestlemania rematch, which isn’t something I care for most of the time. They also seem to be having some issues with how this match is booked, as the eye injury has been forgotten and for some reason they’re not just going with America vs. Russia, which has worked for the better part of eternity. Instead it’s “Cena is suddenly old, even though no one but Vince thinks that”, which is a pretty lame storyline. Anyway, Rusev retains and Cena gets his big win at Wrestlemania…..in theory. I’d love to see Rusev beat him on the big stage.
That leaves us with Bryan vs. Reigns for the Mania title shot, and I really think they’re going with the triple threat. It would fit perfectly with this show meaning nothing, so why not just have them go with that and put Bryan in the title match? It makes sense (or as much sense as this story can make) and gets us where we need to go. Reigns vs. Lesnar wouldn’t work on its own nearly as well, but it’s clear that this Wrestlemania is going to suffer from them not knowing where they want to go, at least on paper.
Oh and HHH calls out Sting. They’ll talk, they’ll talk some more, they’ll pretend the Invasion wasn’t a thing, Sting will punch him a few times, a match will be made for Wrestlemania, it will take about three times longer than it should.
Overall, as I’ve mentioned more than once in the preview, this show doesn’t need to exist. It’s there because the Network needs something to hype up and doesn’t make sense with the storylines they have. It’s a weak card which will likely lead us to a weak Wrestlemania, so why would I want to see this? I’ll be watching, but I think the Oscars are going to distract me from this dull show more than once.
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Thunder – September 30, 1999: Get Back To The Old People
Thunder Date: September 30, 1999
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,411
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko
Thankfully this is another live Thunder (well liveish. It’s airing at about 11pm due to a baseball game but at least it’s not the second show of a taping) which tends to be a lot easier to sit through (not good mind you) than the dreaded taped versions. It’s still about the old guys fighting over backstabbing and lying or Goldberg crushing Sid’s car because Sid is still a major thing in WCW for whatever reason. Let’s get to it.
Long intro to start with Tenay and Zbyszko talking about people who won’t be appearing on this show.
Psychosis/La Parka/Juventud Guerrera vs. Villano IV/Villano V/Silver King
This is Psychosis’ first match since losing the mask. La Parka tells Silver King to get out of his way so dance time but King channels his inner villain from Footloose and kicks him in the face. An elbow to the jaw staggers La Parka again but Silver King accidentally hits his partners, causing a bit of a flare up. It’s off to IV and Psychosis with the unmasked one scoring with a dropkick.
There’s no other way to put this: Psychosis has a weird face. It looks like it needs to be stretched another few inches to make it fit properly. Anyway he rolls out of a tilt-a-whirl slam and chops away at IV before whipping him into a springboard dropkick from Guerrera. A powerslam gets two for Juvy before it’s off to V for a dropkick. Not exactly the most thrilling stuff at the moment.
King comes back in and grabs a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two on Psychosis before just kicking him in the face. Back to Five for a pretty sweet top rope DDT before King comes back in for the same, only not from the top. A double gutbuster has Psychosis in even more trouble but La Parka comes in to take one of them out.
Everything breaks down and La Parka hits a nice corkscrew dive over the top to take out the Villanos and Juvy, leaving King to lay out Psychosis in the ring. The Villanos come back in and accidentally nail King (never hire villains to do a partner’s job), allowing La Parka to take out IV. Juvy Driver to V, setting up the guillotine legdrop from Psychosis for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not bad here but at the end of the day, the Villanos and Silver King aren’t the most thrilling guys in the world. It’s amazing how far Guerrera has fallen in quality as he used to be right there with Kidman and Mysterio but now he’s just kind of there. The division has fallen on hard times since Mysterio forgot he was a cruiserweight and started hanging out with Konnan.
Adrian Byrd vs. Norman Smiley
Smiley easily wrestles him down to start but walks into a dropkick. A right hand just gets on Norman’s nerves so he hits the spinning slam and loads up his dance. Not the Big Wiggle but it’s better than nothing. There’s something hilarious about that move and I think it’s due to Norman’s face as he does it.
Byrd comes back with a series of punches and counters a monkey flip attempt with a cradle for two. A suplex and slam get two each on Norman and we hit the chinlock. This is more offense than I was expecting from Byrd boy. Smiley easily fights up and hits a nice butterfly suplex, followed by the Norman’s Conquest for the win.
Rating: D+. Much like most matches like this one I’m not sure what there is to say about it. Smiley got beaten up for a bit and then came back with some implied male rape involved. I could have gone for a bigger push for Norman as he was clearly over and talented but he got stuck in the stupid hardcore thing soon after this.
Gene brings out Mona for a chat. He praises her for her record in WCW, which is something like 5-1 or so. Mona brings up all the people she’s fought and is looking forward to new competition. Yeah there were some shenanigans last week, but you have to just keep going. Brandi Alexander sneaks up on her and chokes Mona with a gown. A suplex on the floor sets up a match that was scheduled for later in the night.
Mona vs. Brandi Alexander
Mona is a bit shaken up but gets an early two off a cross body. A jawbreaker drops her though and the fans aren’t thrilled. Brandi takes Mona’s glove off for more choking, followed by some hair pulling. Apparently there are some new matches for Halloween Havoc. We won’t be hearing what they are at the moment, but those matches have indeed been set up. Brandi kicks her in the ribs before choking and kicking at the ribs even more. I can see why she isn’t exactly a household name.
A bad looking backslide gets two for Mona and she gets poked in the eye to put her right back down. To give you an idea of her offensive skills, Brandi gets two off a suplex and hiptoss. Brandi misses an enziguri but Mona can’t get an Indian deathlock. She can however hit a Thesz press and right hands before a side slam gets two. Mona was even nice enough to get off of her before Brandi rolled her shoulder up. A handspring elbow crushes Alexander in the corner, setting up a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin.
Rating: D+. Brandi is just not very good. It also doesn’t help that she isn’t the best looking woman in the world and when you had Trish Stratus debuting in the WWF a few months after this, there really was no reason for this division to exist. I use the word division loosely as I don’t think there are more than three or four girls in the company at the moment.
Ad for Flair and Hogan VHS’s.
Dean Roll vs. Frankie Lancaster
You probably know Roll better as Shark Boy. Feeling out process to start with Frankie nailing a shoulder and grabbing a headlock. Frankie easily takes him down and cranks on the leg before hitting a flip splash to the knee. A legdrop gets two on Dean but here’s Scott Norton to beat up both guys for the no contest.
Norton wants Goldberg and apparently we’ve flashed back to 1998.
After a break, Goldberg comes out to accept the challenge and tells Sid that the clock is ticking. Somehow this took nearly three minutes.
Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal
Finlay is here with the Brits. Regal hammers on Morrus to start and fires off some European uppercuts. Off to Knobbs for the Pit Stop and Regal’s face is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in years. Taylor comes in due to Regal’s stomach ailments but eats a bunch of headbutts from Knobbs. Dave gets a Pit Stop of his own which ticks him off so much that he stops a charging Knobbs with a boot in the corner. Finlay tries to swing a chair at Knobbs but gets cut off by security and ejected. Well there goes the best part of the match.
The distraction lets Taylor get in a flag shot to Knobbs before sending him into the steps. Regal gets in some knee lifts before Taylor slaps on a front facelock. The Brits keep up the fast tags and Taylor hammers away with uppercuts and right hands in the corner. A chinlock has Knobbs in trouble but Regal runs into an elbow in the corner. The hot tag brings in Morrus (are the First Family the faces here?) and everything breaks down. Knobbs hits a kind of pumphandle slam on Taylor, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin.
Rating: D+. Who was I supposed to be cheering for in this match? The First Family has never shown any reason for me to like them but they were certainly acting like the faces in this match. Then again, Knobbs is WCW’s definition of a legend and therefore I’m sure we’re supposed to cheer for them.
Here’s the Revolution to talk about Shane cheating recently. Saturn tells Douglas that this team lives by a code of ethics and if he tries that one more time then he’s out of the group. Douglas apologizes and says you can’t stop greatness.
Bobby Eaton vs. Luther Biggs
They bring someone as good as Eaton back for THIS? Luther is Coach Buzz Sawyer’s protege if you’ve blocked this out of your memory. Biggs throws him out of the corner to start and drop toeholds him down into a headlock. Back up and Bobby hiptosses him to the floor so Stern can give him a pep talk. Back in and Biggs gets in a knee to the ribs to take over again but takes WAY too long going to the middle rope for a legdrop. Eaton hammers away but gets dropped by a shoulder. The coach and student start jawing though, allowing Bobby to ram them together and grab a quick neckbreaker for the pin.
Rating: F. THAT’S what I sat through all those stupid promos for? A four minute match with Bobby Eaton getting the pin? Eaton is a great guy but was there any real need for this match to take place? Biggs is a stupid character and Sawyer isn’t much better. Bad match, bad idea, bad execution, bad use of someone as good as Eaton.
Stern dives in post match, which makes me think he missed a cue. Stern puts both of them in a full nelson and yells at Biggs as they leave.
Brad Armstrong vs. Horace Hogan
I can easily live with people like Eaton and Armstrong getting more TV time, but could they be against each other instead of in these matches? Brad takes Horace down with ease but gets thrown across the ring and kicked in the gut. An armbar doesn’t get Brad anywhere as Horace kicks him down again, only to miss a running elbow. Brad hammers away in the corner and dropkicks him out to the floor.
That goes nowhere so Horace goes back to just kicking him before throwing Brad outside. Tenay actually brings up one of the matches at Halloween Havoc: Hart vs. Luger. Oh sorry I mean the Total Package, who is totally different from the Total Package Lex Luger. Horace keeps up the bad offense and drops Armstrong with a clothesline. A suplex gets two on Brad but he avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Russian legsweep for the pin.
Rating: D. Geez how did they manage to make Brad Armstrong and Bobby Eaton boring in the same night? Horace is just a big lug who doesn’t get anywhere and this really didn’t make me want to see Armstrong vs. Berlyn. Then again, offering me a million bucks to sit through that match wouldn’t make me want to see it. I’d do it of course but I wouldn’t want to.
Kendall Windham/Curly Bill vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman
Oh come on now. Rey and Kendall get things going with Mysterio hammering away but diving into a boot to the face. A springboard seated senton gets two on Windham but he comes back with a kick to the ribs and slam to put Rey back down. Kendall hits a few clotheslines and slams him down one more time before getting two off a belly to back suplex.
Off to Curly (see it’s funny because he’s bald) for a suplex and some elbow drops and a suplex before he throws Rey outside. Back in with Rey hitting a springboard missile dropkick and making the tag to Kidman, who is promptly nailed by a clothesline from Windham. A belly to back superplex gets two on Kidman with Rey making the save and it’s back to the floor because the heels don’t know how to keep a match going for more than fifteen seconds.
Hennig gets in some cheap shots before throwing him back inside for chops from Kendall. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Kidman fights up with a jawbreaker and Bodog, setting up the double tag. Rey cleans house and Kidman just stops running to counter an Irish whip. So you can’t Irish whip Kidman either? Kidman launches Rey into a seated senton to Kendall before Curly gets in some cheap shots. He goes up top for no other reason than to have Rey nail him and hook a top rope Frankensteiner for the pin, just like in the women’s match.
Rating: D. Egads just disband the cowboys already. Without Hennig or Barry in there to run things, the team is exposed for the horrible workers they are and that’s never a good thing. Bad match here with Kidman and Rey being wasted on another horrible team, though to be fair they’re still light years ahead of the Clowns.
Goldberg vs. Scott Norton
Norton still has an NWO logo on his singlet. Goldberg wins a slugout to start and punches him over the top rope. They hammer on each other again with Norton chopping him backwards and sending Goldberg face first into the post. Goldberg sends him right back into the post before they get back in the ring to keep hitting each other very hard. A hard short arm clothesline drops Goldberg again but both guys try flying shoulders at the same time for an awkward looking collision. Back up and it’s spear into Jackhammer for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was Norton’s last match in WCW and I can’t say I’m going to miss him. It’s just a bunch of power brawling with limited selling and you can only sacrifice small people to him to set up another Goldberg loss so many times. Basically he’s a short version of Sid with a bigger chest and no one needs another Sid.
Overall Rating: F. Did I mention this show was on around midnight and WCW knew no one was going to watch it? The wrestlers clearly didn’t care and it’s very telling how bad these stories are as we head into Halloween Havoc. It’s also incredibly clear that this is the most top loaded company in a long time as outside of the main event, there is NOTHING interesting going on right now, and the main event is some of the dullest stuff in years. Bad show that didn’t need to exist, which is the case with almost every episode of this show.
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