Smackdown – February 12, 2015: The Longest TV Match In Company History

Smackdown
Date: February 12, 2015
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

The big story coming out of Raw is Bryan and Reigns finally coming to blows with Reigns spearing Bryan after winning the match. It didn’t come off like a heel turn, but rather Reigns being more aggressive instead of his usual laid back self. The question now becomes what happens to them going forward, as this is a pretty hard turn for the story and could help things out a good bit. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Kane and Big Show announcing a tag team turmoil match for tonight with Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan starting things off. Show mentions grabbing the bull by the horns and we get an El Torito cameo. So basically Reigns and Bryan are running a gauntlet? The other teams include Slater Gator, Usos, Los Matadores, Miz/Mizdow, Ascension and presumably Big Show/Kane.

Opening sequence.

Bray Wyatt vs. R-Truth

You have to wonder why Truth would keep accepting this match as he’s been squashed by Wyatt about a dozen times now. Wyatt just sits in the corner waiting until WHOOMP THERE IT IS makes his eyes bug out and gets him to his feet. A hard clothesline drops Truth early on but he’s able to low bridge Bray out to the floor. That’s fine with Bray as he nails Truth upside the head and takes over again. We hit the nerve hold before Truth avoids a seated splash. The Lie Detector totally misses but gets two anyway. Bray hits his big clothesline, Spider Walks, and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 4:31.

Rating: D. What else did you expect here? Bray continues to squash people and there’s nothing to see here in a match with a jobber like Truth. He does get the fans reacting though and is likely to have a job for years as a result. It seems that we’re getting Undertaker vs. Wyatt at Wrestlemania, and there would be almost no logical reason for Wyatt to lose there. That match could mean some interesting stories, but I doubt WWE would go there.

Summer Rae vs. Paige

The Bellas are on commentary again. Paige armdrags her down to start and hits a hard kick to the ribs, followed by Matt Morgan’s rotating elbows in the corner. Summer comes back with something like an Indian Deathlock as the Bellas do their usual “we’re better than you” schtick. Byron: “You are aware there’s a match going on in the ring?” Nikki: “Unfortunately yes there is.” Paige hits three clotheslines because there’s no other comeback allowed in WWE. The PTO makes Summer give up at 2:58.

The Bellas pose and Paige yells after the match. This is being written about six hours after the fourway Divas match at Takeover: Rival, which was one of the best Divas matches I’ve ever seen, topping a list comprised of almost all NXT Divas matches. I would pay BIG money to hear someone tell me how the WWE Divas are so much better than the girls down in Florida without using the words John, Cena, Bryan, Danielson, reality or total.

Quick look at Rusev calling Cena an old man and going after his eye. Cena is 37, looks like he’s about 30 and probably has at least four or five good years left in him. We’re a few years away from calling Cena an old man. He’s six years younger than Kane and ten years younger than Big Show, but Cena is the grizzled veteran?

Sheamus return video.

Rikishi is going to the Hall of Fame. I really don’t get why people are freaking out over that. He’s a multiple time Tag Team Champion, an Intercontinental Champion and was around forever. He even had a brief main event run. That’s far better than some people who have gone in but this one isn’t ok for some reason?

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Rose yells at the Rosebuds to start and stomps Fandango down in the corner. He hooks a bodyscissors followed by a chinlock as this isn’t going anywhere. Fandango pops up and hits a snap powerslam, followed by the Last Dance for the pin at 1:39. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Fandango now.

Rose shoves the Rosebuds down again. Is this story ever going to move forward?

We see HHH calling out Sting for Fast Lane and Sting accepting. I did like how clear he made the response. Sometimes you just need to keep it simple.

Tag Team Turmoil

Either this match is going to go nearly an hour or there’s something else to close the show. Reigns and Bryan start against Miz and Mizdow. Miz and Bryan get things going with Daniel kicking him in the back and roughly tagging out to Reigns. Roman pounds him down in the corner and tags out just as hard. It’s off to Mizdow for the Reality Check but Miz isn’t pleased and tags himself back in. Daniel hits a running kick in the corner so Reigns tags himself in for the Superman Punch, but Bryan tags in for the running knee instead of the spear. Miz is done at 2:18.

Next up are the Tag Team Champion Usos who start their section after a break. Bryan grabs a headlock on Jey to start but has to spin out of a wristlock. Daniel stays on the arm but gets taken down for the double elbow drop. It’s off to Reigns for a battle of the cousins and Jimmy is quickly run over with a shoulder. The Usos finally start getting together to clothesline Reigns to the floor as they’re clearly in no hurry here.

Back to Bryan for a leg lock and some hard forearms to Jey’s face. Daniel starts kicking at the leg in the corner as Reigns just glares at both guys. Jey makes a blind tag and comes in with a kick to the face for two. The champs start in on the arm and Daniel bails outside as we take a break. Back with Reigns suplexing Jimmy but getting annoyed at yet another blind tag from Bryan. Daniel: “THIS IS A SUPLEX!” His has a bit more snap but gets the same two count. The Usos take him into the corner again and stomp Daniel down with the running Umaga Attack getting another near fall.

A running headbutt gets two for Jey and it’s back to the arm. That goes nowhere as Bryan pops back up with the running clothesline. The first regular tag brings in Reigns and it’s a big boot and a neck crank on Jimmy. Back to Bryan to sidestep a charging Jimmy, sending his shoulder into the post. Both Usos head to the floor for a series of kicks to the chest but Roman says lay off of them because they’re hurt. Daniel gets right in his face and they shove each other a bit as we go to our third break.

Back again with Daniel cranking on Jey’s arm and suplexing him down for two. Bryan is acting a bit heelish but you could also say he’s just being more aggressive and trying to win. Roman isn’t interested in working on his cousin, which wasn’t a problem for him back in the Shield days of course. A Samoan drop finally puts Bryan down for a breather and the hot tag brings in Jimmy.

The kneeling uppercut has Bryan in trouble but he backdrops Jimmy to the floor. Jey tags himself in on the way over though and gets two off a high cross body with Daniel making the save. Jey asks his cousin what’s going on (it can’t be what’s up or that would be gimmick infringement) and everything breaks down.

Reigns drops Jey but gets sent to the floor for a big dive. Bryan dives on everyone not named Jimmy but Jimmy takes too much time, allowing Bryan to hit the Superman Punch. The Usos hit a few superkicks but the Superfly Splash hits knees and Jimmy taps to the YES Lock at 31:50 (total, as all following times will be).

Reigns yells at Bryan for holding the YES Lock too long as we take another break. Back with the argument continuing and Los Matadores coming in as the fourth team. Fernando throws Bryan down and scores with a headscissors to keep the tired Daniel in trouble. Daniel realizes he’s in there with Los Matadores and throws Fernando in the surfboard until Diego makes a save. Fernando heads up top but gets butterfly superplexed down, setting up the YES Lock for the submission at 39:47.

Slater Gator is in next with new music and Heath appears to have chopped off his hair. Reigns tags himself in to clean house with the fireman’s carry flapjack to Slater, followed by a big spear for another pin at 41:18. We take what might be a record fifth commercial break in one match and come back with Ascension as the sixth team.

Bryan and Viktor get things going with Ascension easily taking over. Daniel fights out of the corner with forearms but Konnor low bridges him to the floor. The double beating is on and Roman gets one as well for trying to make a save. Bryan gets posted and Reigns is sent over the announcers’ table. Back in and Daniel takes Fall of Man but the Ascension has been disqualified, somewhere around 49:10. A bunch of referees break it up and Big Show and Kane are the final team.

Cole informs us that Ascension was in fact disqualified. Normally I would have a sarcastic line here but since the referee shouted “YOU TWO ARE DISQUALIFIED!”, I’ll be a bit more blunt: Cole sounds stupid. He makes it even worse by saying they can in fact confirm Big Show and Kane as the next team. AS IN THE TEAM COMING DOWN THE AISLE. We take another break and come back with Kane stomping on Reigns. A shoulder block gets two but Reigns pops back up with a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to Bryan.

Daniel busts out the YES Kicks, somehow for the first time in this match. Show makes a fast save though and sends him out to the floor but throws Bryan back over the top and back inside. It’s back to Kane for more stomping as he and Show somehow look more exhausted than Bryan and Reigns. More kicks break up the chokeslam but Kane shoves Bryan into Big Show, much to the giant’s annoyance.

A double back elbow puts Bryan down and Big Show yells at Reigns a bit. Daniel kicks out of Show’s chokeslam attempt before hitting a DDT. That’s still not enough for the hot tag though as Show gets two off a splash. He yells at Kane for being negative and chokes Bryan in the air. Kane wants this to be over but Show says he’s having fun. Show gets on the middle rope for the Vader Bomb but Kane tags himself in and yells at Show for taking too many risks. Show: “THAT’S RUDE!”

Kane gets caught in the YES Lock and Show makes a very delayed save. This time it’s Show tagging himself in but has to stop and yell at Kane again. Reigns gets knocked off the apron but Bryan pulls Show down into the YES Lock. Kane makes a save but asks Show what he’s doing. That’s quite a rude question.

Big Show thinks so too as he KO Punches Kane and I think we have the 1000th Big Show turn. Well that’s quite a milestone if nothing else. Show’s gift is a spear and running knee to FINALLY end this match at 1:05:15. From what I can find, that’s the sixth longest match in company history. Of the five longer matches, three were Royal Rumbles.

Rating: C-. The best part of it all: the match wasn’t even that good. It was a mix of squashes and long, drawn out tag matches which really isn’t enough to carry a match that length of time. Bryan and Reigns were trying to one up each other (Bryan had four falls to Reigns’ one, which was over Slater) and they used half of the show to do it because half the roster is in the Middle East on tour. My goodness this felt long and I need a rest after this marathon.  It’s a remarkable performance from Bryan and Reigns, but not a good match otherwise.

Overall Rating: C. The show was entertaining enough but much more of a novelty than anything else. As much as I hate this booking move, there’s almost no way to avoid putting the Tag Team Titles on Bryan and Reigns now, because they literally just beat most of the entire tag division in one night, including the champions. Until the Usos beat Bryan and Reigns, they’re the best team in the company by default and it gives them another way to build to the match at Fast Lane. There isn’t much else to talk about here due to the main event literally taking up over half the show, but there was nothing else of note anyway.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. R-Truth – Sister Abigail

Paige b. Summer Rae – PTO

Fandango b. Adam Rose – Last Dance

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan won Tag Team Turmoil last eliminating Big Show/Kane – Running knee to Show

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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New Column: The 500lb French Zombie Superman

Looking at a very interesting story that has flown under the radar for over a year.

 

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-500lb-french-zombie-superman/33833/




NXT Takeover: Rival: Follow That, Wrestlemania

NXT Takeover: Rival
Date: February 10, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Jason Albert

It’s been less than two months since the last Takeover and NXT is starting to crank up the frequency of these specials. The main story coming in is fallout from last time as Kevin Owens is challenging former best friend Sami Zayn for the NXT Title after betraying new champion Zayn at the end of the last show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video gives us a quick background of every major match.

Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze

This was set up late last week after Itami lost in the semi-finals of the #1 contenders tournament and was attacked by Breeze. A blonde woman jumps Breeze during his entrance and is quickly dragged away. She was too good looking to be a real fan. Hideo misses a running kick to start but nails a clothesline out of the corner. A forearm knocks Breeze to the floor and Hideo dropkicks him out of the air. Tyler wakes up and goes after the knee to take over by ramming it into the apron and dropping some elbows. The knee is wrapped around the post and Breeze slaps on the Figure Four around the post as well.

Back in and Breeze puts on a unique submission hold which is kind of a Texas Cloverleaf/Figure Four/Sharpshooter combination. Itami gets to the ropes and tries the GTS, only to have Breeze escape and hit the Supermodel Kick for two. I guess selling doesn’t translate to Japanese. Hideo starts Hulking Up and kicks Breeze in the head before firing off a series of them to the chest. He is nice enough to limp a bit after doing the offense with no issues. A running delayed dropkick in the corner and a running big boot to the face is enough to pin Breeze at 8:20.

Rating: B-. Entertaining match but the lack of selling got annoying in a hurry. It’s also not a good sign that Hideo was right back to kicks only offense. Yeah he varies them up a bit, but they’re all just kicks no matter how you look at it. Breeze is getting to the point where he puts over so many people that it’s not meaning as much. Itami needed a win though and this was his biggest in a singles match to date.

Baron Corbin vs. Bull Dempsey

No DQ. Corbin charges at him to start and they fight on the floor with Dempsey hitting a suplex onto the ramp. He posts Baron as well and takes him inside, only to get caught in a spinebuster for two. Corbin charges him out to the floor where Bull runs him over again. Back in and the flying headbutt gets two on Corbin, sending a frustrated Dempsey outside for a chair. That takes a bit too long though and Corbin catches him in End of Days for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: C. Good brawl but my goodness let it be over now. These two didn’t need to fight again after the first two times but it kept going for the sake of having another match here. That’s unlike NXT and I really hope it’s nothing that becomes normal. At least the right guy won and they kept it short.

Tag Team Titles: Blake and Murphy vs. Lucha Dragons

Blake and Murphy beat the Dragons to win the belts a few weeks back and this is the rematch. They’ve also lost their first names during their title reign. Cara and Murphy get things going but it’s very quickly off to Blake, who eats a spinning cross body. The champs take over and Kalisto gets the tag, only to botch a dive over the top.

Instead a victory roll gets two out of the corner before Cara slams Kalisto onto Murphy for the same. This match is kind of all over the place so far. Back to Blake as the champs take over with some fast tags and quick offense. Kalisto gets another hot tag and cleans house with his rolling kick to the head and low hurricanrana but Murphy counters the Salida Del Sol. A powerbomb gets two on Kalisto and they hit a pinfall reversal sequence until both partners make saves at the same time.

Cara rolls Blake into a powerbomb for two but Murphy rolls out for two of his own. It’s quickly back to Murphy who can’t roll out of the powerbomb as everything breaks down again. Kalisto is knocked off the apron and Murphy hits a running suplex on Cara, setting up a great looking frog splash from Blake to retain the titles at 7:28.

Rating: C. This was entertaining but kind of sloppy. They didn’t really try for any kind of psychology but the champs looked smooth out there and the match worked well enough for what it was going for. Blake and Murphy are actually good champions and work well together, though I could use a big more to separate them. Still though, good enough stuff.

During the champs’ celebration, we get the longest Solomon hack to date, complete with “Next week” coming up on screen.

Recap of the #1 contenders tournament, which quickly turns into a video on Neville vs. Balor. Both of them have worked hard to get here and they’re ready to go through the other to get their shot at the title.

#1 Contenders Tournament Final: Finn Balor vs. Adrian Neville

Balor does his full on painted, crawling entrance. Neville runs him over to start and grabs a headlock on the mat. That’s fine with Finn who rolls through and hits a basement dropkick to the face, sending Adrian rolling out to the floor. Back in and Finn runs him over again before slapping on a chinlock. Balor escapes and goes to the apron but gets dropkicked down while trying a springboard. This is a chess match so far. A delayed suplex gets two for Adrian and it’s another chinlock.

Finn is out quicker this time though and he kicks Neville out to the floor for a huge flip dive. After taking a few moments to get up, Balor slowly stalks around the ring and hits a running dropkick to send Neville through the barricade. Back in and a top rope stomps to the back of the head gets two more for Balor and frustration is setting in. Neville wins a kick off but Finn scores with a Pele to put both guys down again.

Adrian is up first and muscles Finn over for a German suplex and now it’s his turn to be frustrated. A middle rope Phoenix Splash gets two on Balor but he comes back with a Sling Blade to put Adrian down again. Finn’s running clothesline turns Neville inside out and a reverse implant DDT gets two more. Neville scores with a pair of kicks to the head but the Red Arrow hits knees, allowing Finn to hook a small package for a VERY close two. I totally bought that as the finish. Now it’s Balor going up for a top rope double stomp to the ribs for the pin and the title shot at 13:32.

Rating: A. Now THIS worked. Both guys were rocking the whole time and this was one heck of a back and forth showdown. Balor is being treated as the real deal and they’re doing a great job of rocketing him up the card. This was a great war with some white hot near falls with both guys looking great and topping each other until Neville just couldn’t get up anymore.

They shake hands post match.

Video on the four way Women’s Title match which is a pretty simple idea: Charlotte has the belt, all three other girls want it, and they’re willing to fight everyone to get it.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch vs. Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Other than the main event, this is the match I’ve been looking forward to more than anything else, including Balor vs. Neville. It’s a basic title feud but they’ve executed it so well that I want to see it. Consider that this is the company that also has the Bellas being pushed to Mars and back and you’ll be even more astounded by that. It’s a big brawl to start with Charlotte knocking both villains to the floor but getting rolled up for two.

Now it’s Bayley getting double teamed with a double clothesline and then just being thrown into the corner. Banks and Lynch of course get into an argument over who should get the cover. Sasha turns her back on her partner though and gets launched with a kind of pumphandle throw. Lynch goes after Bayley’s bad knee and puts on a kind of reverse figure four but Banks makes the save. Becky hits a missile dropkick to put Sasha down for two but it’s Charlotte making the save.

The champ starts busting out neckbreakers for two each before getting in a slugout with Banks. Sasha gets the better of it and whips Charlotte into the ropes, only to have her spear Becky down. Bayley gets back in and catches Sasha in an assisted Codebreaker but Charlotte boots her in the face. Sasha sends Charlotte shoulder first into the post and drapes her over the middle rope. She puts Becky across the bottom rope for good measure and drives her knees into Charlotte’s ribs to send her into Lynch for two on both of them.

Bayley throws Banks down and it’s down to Bayley vs. Charlotte. A series of running elbows in the corner have Charlotte reeling and Bayley tightens the ponytail to make it serious. Bayley scores with a top rope hurricanrana and the Belly to Bayley but Becky pulls her out to the floor. That’s too much for Bayley as she snaps on Lynch, only to have Sasha dive through the ropes to take both girls down.

The champ has a breather but screw that because she dives onto all three to put everyone down. Back in and Lynch hits an exploder suplex for two on Charlotte. Bayley breaks up something out of the corner and German suplexes Becky, setting up a super Belly to Bayley on Charlotte but Sasha dives in for the save and a VERY closer near fall of her own. The Bank Statement goes on but Sasha lets go to kick Becky down. She slaps the hold on again before rolling Charlotte up in a crucifix for the pin and the title at 11:57.

Rating: A-. FOLLOW THAT BELLAS! I would have ended it with the stolen pin off the superplex but good grief these girls are awesome. These matches are always a highlight and it never ceases to amaze me how hard they blow the Divas out of the water. Actually check that. The NXT girls and the Divas don’t belong in the same water. Awesome stuff here and the NXT girls continue to get more and more amazing every time.

Charlotte hugs the new champ post match but gets shoved away by the Boss.

We recap Zayn vs. Owens, which is all about jealousy from Owens. Sami won the belt at the last Takeover and Owens turned on him during the celebration. Owens has been there with Zayn the whole time but Sami was called up first. That title means a better life for Kevin’s family and he’ll do whatever it takes to win it. Sami just wants to hurt Owens no matter what it takes.

NXT Title: Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

We get the tracking shots of both guys coming to the ring, which is a trend I’d love to see come back. After the big match intros, they stare each other down as the fans are mostly behind the champ. Owens bails to the floor to get inside Sami’s head and we’re in full on Zbyszko mode. Sami finally just dives over the top to take Owens down before throwing him inside for a beating. A hot shot breaks up Sami’s momentum and the pro-dirty traitors strike up the FIGHT OWENS FIGHT chants.

Owens rips the skin off Sami’s chest with a chop and Sami quickly loses a slugout. We hit the chinlock on the champ to get a breather before Kevin just grinds his forearm into Sami’s jaw. Sami tries to fight up but gets dropped ribs first over the top rope for two. Back to the chinlock which makes sense as Kevin has been trying to grind Sami down. A hard belly to back suplex gets two and they head outside so Sami can be rammed into the apron.

The fans have switched up to KILL OWENS KILL as he takes the champ back inside to yell in his face. Owens also puts fists to his face before a gutbuster gets two. Sami jawbreaks out of the third chinlock as the announcers bring up Lesnar vs. Cena from Summerslam. That’s not the longest stretch in the world. Sami fights back with some clotheslines, including a big one to send Kevin to the floor.

Now it’s Owens going into the steps and getting his head taken off with a clothesline. Back in and Sami hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the Helluva Kick is countered with a huge superkick. There’s the Cannonball for two and the pumphandle driver onto the knee gets an even closer near fall. The popup powerbomb is countered with a dropkick and the Half and Half suplex gets two for the champ.

Kevin snaps the throat over the top rope but gets caught on the same rope, only to knock Sami down. He spits at the champ but his Swanton Bomb hits knees. The Exploder Suplex into the corner looks to set up the Helluva Kick but Owens bails to the floor. Owens can’t hit the apron powerbomb so Sami hits the bouncing moonsault, only to have both guys bang their heads on the ramp. Sami can barely stand and staggers on the attempt at the Helluva Kick, allowing Owens to hit the popup powerbomb for an even closer two.

Owens just unloads with right hands to the head and the champ’s eyes are glazed over. He pounds away in the ropes and keeps getting dragged away by the referee. The trainer comes out to check on Sami but Owens powerbombs Sami again. A second powerbomb has Sami out cold but he slowly rolls his shoulder up to keep this going. The trainer gets in the ring now, earning Zayn two more powerbombs. Kevin loads up a fifth in a row and the referee finally pulls him off to stop the match at 23:12, giving Owens the title.

Rating: A-. This was absolutely brutal and a great way to get the title off Zayn. Owens looks like a killer, but the key thing here is he could not pin Sami. This sets up a big time gimmick rematch as well as writes Sami off TV while he on the international tour during the next TV tapings. In other words, NXT has come up with a way to avoid their champion not being around for over a month of TV, because they’re that much smarter than WWE. Excellent stuff here with Sami looking like a warrior and Owens looking like the most awesome monster this side of Brock Lesnar.

Oh and next up: Owens vs. Balor.

A smiling Owens stands over Sami to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Good grief. I mean just good freaking grief. How in the world does NXT manage to keep blowing away every bit of wrestling WWE can put out time after time? I’m not sure if any of the three big matches here were as good as the triple threat from the Rumble (and they likely weren’t due to the stage the Rumble was on), but I’ll take three awesome matches over one incredible triple threat any day.

Another outstanding show here with the wrestlers working themselves to the bone to make the whole thing work. There are stories, character development, great matches and hard work all around and there’s no way that doesn’t equal an excellent show. NXT is still on fire and shows no signs of slowing down with even more names on the way, like Crowe and that trio of amateur guys that have been getting rave reviews. Great stuff here and again, if this doesn’t give you enough reason to buy the Network, I don’t know what more you could ask for.

Results

Hideo Itami b. Tyler Breeze – Big boot

Baron Corbin b. Bull Dempsey – End of Days

Blake and Murphy b. Lucha Dragons – Frog splash to Cara

Finn Balor b. Adrian Neville – Top rope double stomp

Sasha Banks b. Charlotte, Becky Lynch and Bayley – Rollup to Charlotte

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn via referee stoppage

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Monday Night Raw – March 31, 1997: Breaking Ground On A New Foundation

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 31, 1997
Location: Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 4,282
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

We’re knocking on the door of the story of the year and that’s the best thing that can happen to the WWF. Bret has turned his back on the American fans and doesn’t care what they think anymore due to what he perceives as a lack of respect. Steve Austin is back tonight and you know his response is going to be interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Bret’s awesome speech last week where he ran down all things American and destroyed Shawn’s knee again.

The announcers preview the show.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog

Bulldog is defending after having beaten Owen to become the first champion back in February. They’re also Tag Team Champions but jealousy is tearing them apart. That’s an interesting point as Owen was paranoid about being in Bret’s shadow back in 1994 and is the same about Bulldog here. It’s so nice to see character continuity like that as opposed to today where motivation and characteristics change weekly.

Owen dropkicks him through the ropes during Bulldog’s entrance and the fight starts early. They get inside for the bell with Owen getting a very fast two off a spinning cross body. Bulldog’s comeback is quickly stopped by a low blow and we hit the chinlock. Owen is being far more aggressive than usual here as he rips at Bulldog’s face. A quick backslide gets two for Davey but he eats a dropkick to put him back down. Owen hits a piledriver and we take a break before the cover.

Back with Hart driving shoulders into the ribs before we hit another chinlock. The Bulldog blocks a dropkick but gets caught by an enziguri to put him right back down. Total dominance by Owen so far. He loads up a superplex, gets knocked back but moonsaults to land on his feet and knocks Bulldog off the top for a cool sequence.

They head outside with Bulldog dropping him onto the barricade to finally gain control. A catapult gets two for the champ and they head outside with Bulldog suplexing him onto the ramp. Back in and a big gorilla press gets two as Bulldog’s power is rolling. There goes the referee and Owen goes for a chair. Bulldog kicks it out of his hand and goes for it himself but Bret comes in and takes Bulldog down as the match is a no contest.

Rating: B. This was the polar opposite of their clinic in Berlin, which is a sign that they’re both incredibly talented. The ending is far more about setting up stuff for the future and we were lucky enough to get in a good match at the same time. It was interesting to see Owen completely dominate about 75% of the match though as Bulldog was getting squashed until they went outside. Again, that makes sense as Owen is a more polished wrestler and Bulldog got into a brawling style on occasion.

Bret shouts at both guys and holds them apart, saying this can’t happen. He gets on the mic and says this is what the people want. It should be about family values and Bret ignores the USA chants. These people have turned this family into a bunch of haters. Remember the match at Wembley Stadium? Or all those times when Bret took care of Owen as a kid? They were the only two brothers who excelled in wrestling and the Americans have turned them against each other. Bret needs both of them and Owen is in tears. The three hug and we’ve got the angle of the summer. Lawler is in tears over these events.

El Mosco vs. Super Nova

Sunny is on commentary as this dead trend continues. Mosco hits a quick enziguri as Sunny is far better at reading house show ads than JR. A belly to belly gets two for Nova but Mosco nails a spinwheel kick for no cover. Sunny calls JR short and fat as Nova hits a sunset bomb out of the corner for two more. He follows it up with a running flip dive through the ropes to crash onto Nova while Sunny is sitting on the commentators’ laps. Back in and Mosco hits a sloppy slingshot moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D. Sunny was clearly the star here and I have no idea why they were wasting her talents on this mess. It was either this or the minis and that’s really not something she should be lowering herself to do. Nothing to see here though as this was a very far cry from even the lowest levels of WCW cruiserweights.

Here’s the Legion of Doom for a chat. First of all though, Animal has to yell at the Harts for running down the American fans. He talks about only remembering the winners, which is what they’re going to be in just a few weeks. Hawk doesn’t have much to add and that’s about it.

Jesse Jammes vs. Jerry Fox

Honky Tonk Man is here to scout again. Jammes (yes that’s how it’s spelled) comes out with a kid who is here for reasons not quite clear. Fox (who looks like a fat Stevie Richards) is run over to start and atomic dropped out to the floor. A pumphandle slam is good for the pin for Jammes in a total squash.

Honky offers Jammes the protege spot but Jesse breaks the guitar instead. For some reason this took nearly five minutes. This wasn’t the most interesting story in the world.

Savio Vega/Crush vs. Rod Bell/Adam O’Brien

O’Brien is better known as Adam Pearce and he would be about 19 here. Crush stomps on Bell to start as Savio knocks Adam to the floor. Bell fights back with right hands as we get a Shawn Michaels phone interview. The comeback goes about as well as you would expect and Shawn talks about being more banged up than he was coming into last week. He doesn’t want to talk about the injury though and hangs up, promising to confront Bret next week. Crush tilt-a-whirl backbreakers Bell, setting up a Demolition Decapitator for the pin.

Rating: D. Total squash here that was more about the phone call than anything else. I really don’t know what else you want to hear about this match so…..how about that phone call? Yeah how about it, because there really isn’t much else to talk about it either. They really need to work on their midcard.

Video on Ken Shamrock, complete with UFC footage.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s Paul Bearer, complete with a casket, to say he wants Undertaker back. After a bit of begging, the lights go out and here’s the champ. He doesn’t immediately get in the ring but rather goes around to lock the casket just in case. Undertaker says he can forgive Bearer and does in fact owe Bearer something. He kisses the title and hands it to Bearer before punching him in the jaw. They head to the ramp but Mankind comes out from under the ring with a fireball to burn Undertaker. Mankind and Bearer hug but Sid runs out to chase them off. Undertaker is so blind that he wanders into the crowd and stumbles away.

After a break, Sid challenges Mankind for some point in the future.

HHH vs. Goldust

Chyna isn’t allowed at ringside. Goldust is all over him to start and tosses HHH hard into the corner. Another hard whip sends him over the top and out to the floor before a head knocker has HHH reeling even more. Goldust misses a cross body and falls to the floor and HHH follows him out with a baseball slide. Back in and Lawler talks about how awesome Canada is. Ross suggests Lawler move to Canada, so Jerry tells him to join a cult. That’s quite the exchange.

Anyway, HHH stays on Goldust with a snap suplex and knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a good while before a DDT plants Goldust for another near fall. Back to the floor with HHH hitting a middle rope ax handle as Chyna shots up on stage. We take a break and come back with Goldust hammering away, drawing Chyna closer to ringside. Screw stipulations I guess. The Curtain Call connects but Chyna comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. I never liked this feud and I don’t know why it went on so long. Their pay per view matches bored me and the TV stuff hasn’t been much better. They’re just not interesting and the chemistry is only decent. It doesn’t help that the story is far more about Chyna getting over than anything else, which makes the matches more of a way of killing time than anything else.

Chyna knocks Goldust down and referees come in to break it up. Pat Patterson gets in a big fight with HHH due to Chyna attacking him recently as Goldust wants to fight Chyna.

We look at the Hart Family reunion, with a side of Smith of course, from earlier tonight.

Here’s Steve Austin with something to say. He makes it clear that he never quit at Wrestlemania and it was a steel barricade that busted him open. The Sharpshooter was on, but it was Austin’s own blood that made him pass out. Bret is the biggest piece of trash he’s ever seen and Austin isn’t changing for anyone. It doesn’t matter if he’s against a good guy or a bad guy because he’s the King of the Ring and is out here to beat up whoever he’s in there against. Bret pops up on screen and says Austin knows what happened at Wrestlemania, and it’s going to be even worse the next time they’re in the ring.

Bret vs. Sid is announced for In Your House.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Rocky Maivia

My goodness what a different time this was. The difference here is that Bret taking the title wouldn’t have been a shock. Yeah Bret is the heavy favorite here, but in today’s product, there would be no chance of him winning the title because it’s beneath him. Back in this era, any title was worth winning no matter who you were. That’s something I really would love to see come back.

Rocky takes him into the corner to start but Bret bails to the floor before any punches are thrown. Back in and we see Tony Atlas sitting in the front row. Bret easily takes Rocky down but the champ scores with a cross body for two. Maivia cranks on a hammerlock and drives some elbows into the arm as they’re still in second gear. Back up and Bret just stomps Rocky down to take over before choking in the corner. Hart is even nailing the heel actions in the ring to the letter.

We take a break and come back with Bret still in control but getting small packaged for two. Bret misses the middle rope elbow and Rocky starts his comeback with a fisherman’s suplex getting a near fall. The high cross body connects but Bret rolls through for a sloppy two count. Bret has had enough of this rookie and puts him in the Figure Four around the post for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was fine but it was much more a historical note than anything else. Obviously Rock was nothing compared to what he would become later on and the match doesn’t really mean anything as a result. As I mentioned, notice how Bret was such a different character both in the ring and on the microphone around this time. He wasn’t putting in a ton of effort (intentionally) and seemed more bored fighting someone like Maivia than anything else. That’s a very good sign and makes things far more interesting.

Austin comes out for the save but Owen and Bulldog come in to beat him down. The Legion of Doom makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was an easier show to sit through as they kept the midcard matches moving instead of letting them drag down the awesome main event stuff. The Hart Foundation is coming and the war they’ll wage is already looking like the most interesting story since…..oh I’d say Flair vs. Savage back in 1992. Better show here but they still need to tighten up a few things.

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Monday Nitro – September 20, 1999: The Great Divide

Monday Nitro #206
Date: September 20, 1999
Location: Firstar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 11,634
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

The question in WCW is now “how bad can it get”. After last week’s mess, the main event makes me feel like pounding my head in with a hammer, but the midcard scene only makes me want to carve hieroglyphics into my stomach with a branding iron. Russo can’t get here soon enough, and I’m sure that’s going to be followed with a “what the heck was I thinking”. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s show and the theory that Sting has been having a master plan for the last three years.

Juventud Guerrera/Psychosis vs. Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Kidman dropkicks Psychosis down to start but Juvy offers a distraction to let the masked man take over. Juvy doesn’t like cheating and comes in legally with a headscissors before some double stomping has Kidman in even more trouble. Kidman flips out of a German (apparently you can’t suplex him either. Unless you’re Lenny Lane) and tags in Rey, setting up a Doomsday Device with Mysterio hitting a springboard seated senton instead of a clothesline.

A Lionsault from Rey gets two but Juvy grabs a quick suplex to take over again. Psychosis comes back in for half of a double top rope guillotine legdrop (that was awesome) for two with Kidman making the save. Rey makes a quick tag so Kidman can hit a top rope cross body to take down both guys as everything breaks down. Psychosis, not being Lenny Lane, can’t powerbomb Kidman but Juvy shoves Kidman into a dropkick for the pin by Psychosis in a big surprise.

Rating: C+. Take four talented guys and let them fly around the ring for five minutes to open the show. That’s standard, common sense booking and it’s something that is going to work every time. Well, except when it ends with Sid powerbombing or chokeslamming all of them to continue a stupid angle but at least they’re trying.

Cue Eddie and Konnan for a beatdown with Kidman going for Psychosis’ mask. So the Animals are heels? It’s not really clear most of the time. Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the save and argues with Eddie, but Psychosis starts ranting in Spanish. Chavo says that was a challenge to Kidman for a mask vs. hair match next week but Psychosis doesn’t seem to agree. Since everyone in this company has match making powers, it’s on for next week.

Quick video on Sid vs. Goldberg.

Brian Knobbs vs. Goldberg

This is actually fallout from Goldberg beating up Jerry Flynn last week. Goldberg knocks him to the floor to start so Knobbs hits him with five straight chair shots. As usual, the referee doesn’t seem to mind. Goldberg blocks a ram into the post and hits a big boot back inside. Jimmy Hart comes in and gives Knobbs the megaphone for a cheap shot, but it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin.

Video on the Revolution.

Clip of Benoit vs. Malenko from last week.

Here’s Flair for a chat. He wants Sting out here right now because he’s free at last. From Bischoff I presume? Benoit comes out instead and says the two of them have unfinished business, so after he wins the title tonight, Flair can have Sting. Despite already having a guaranteed title shot tonight, Benoit challenges Sting. Flair ignores this and yells about Sting as Benoit talks about it being his time after all of Flair’s lies. Ric runs off, looking for Sting. As usual, the young guys mean nothing on this show.

Nitro Girls video.

Nitro Girls competition. Still waiting on Stacy.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit’s TV Title isn’t on the line and all references to the champ will be about Sting. The Revolution isn’t out here so it’s one on one. During the entrances, Tony announces Sting/Luger/Page vs. Hogan/Hart/Flair for next week. Good to see Benoit getting this shot in the first hour instead of the main event where the World Title should be. Feeling out process to start with Benoit missing an enziguri and getting dropkicked outside.

Back in and a clothesline sends Benoit outside again as they seem to have a lot of time for this match. Another dropkick puts Chris down on the floor for the third time in two minutes. He seems to be more frustrated than outmatched so far. Benoit scores with a dragon screw leg whip and dropkick to the knee. Sting is already a million miles ahead of Sid by actually selling the injury. A bridging Indian deathlock with Benoit’s hands around the face have Sting in even more trouble but Benoit has to let it go.

The champ gets caught in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide dropkick but the second one misses, crotching the Canadian against the post. There’s an atomic drop from Sting as the knee is fine far too fast. Sting totally botches what looked to be an attempt at a reverse Tree of Woe, nearly dropping Benoit on his head in the process.

More atomic drops have Benoit in trouble so he clotheslines Sting down. That earns him a chinlock for a bit and a knee to the ribs to stop his comeback attempt. A reverse suplex drops Benoit again and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up again and Sting avoids a dropkick but gets small packaged out of nowhere for two.

Sting’s top rope splash hits knees and Benoit has an opening. The Stinger Splash misses as well and Benoit nails the Swan Dive for a close two. The Crossface goes on but Sting is right next to the ropes. Benoit puts on a sleeper instead but the counter takes out the referee. A piledriver has Sting in even more trouble but there’s no referee to count the cover. Benoit’s German suplex gets the same result until Luger runs in with a bat shot to the ribs for the pin to retain Sting’s title.

Rating: C+. This actually wasn’t as good as you would think it would be. Sting didn’t really sell much until the end, but it was nowhere near a squash. Benoit looked like a decent challenge to Sting but he clearly wasn’t a real threat to win the title. The interesting thing here though was Sting’s offense. Other than some atomic drops after Benoit crotched himself, which is more intelligence than anything else, there was nothing here that would make you think Sting was a heel. Is it any shock that the fans aren’t booing him?

Flair comes in to punch Lex down and earns him a Diamond Cutter from an invading Page. Hogan comes in for the save as Benoit is totally forgotten.

Berlyn video.

Berlyn vs. Scott Armstrong

Armstrong gets run over to start and Berlyn poses on the ropes. He spits on Armstrong and drapes him over the top rope, knocking him out to the floor. The bodyguard doesn’t get to fire off a right hand so Berlyn hits a European uppercut back inside. The match just keeps going for no apparent reason until the bodyguard gets in a cheap shot, setting up the neckbreaker for the pin on Armstrong.

Rating: D. I’ll give them points for trying to push someone new but that Duggan match has just crippled Berlyn right out of the gate. Well that and the bad vignettes, bad interpreter, bad look that doesn’t at all hide the fact that he’s Alex Wright, bad matches, bad finishing move, bodyguard who already outshines him, the simplicity of the evil foreigner gimmick and no one caring about him. Other than all that, the guy is great.

Earlier today, Vampiro and the Clowns argued over which one should get the Cruiserweight Title shot but it’s eventually Shaggy getting the shot. You know, the guy who pinned the champ last week. I apologize for making you think about that again. Gay jokes abound to make it even worse.

We see Flair getting beaten up last week.

Here’s Diamond Dallas Page to rip on Pete Rose for cheap heat. I’d much rather watch Rose’s WWF appearances as they’re actually entertaining, but cheap heat is better than no heat. Anyway, he’s facing Flair in the main event tonight and is going to retire Ric because Flair won’t retire like he should have years ago.

Clip of Saturn vs. Guerrero from last week.

Evan Karagias vs. Blitzkrieg

So why did we see Saturn vs. Guerrero just now? The winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot on Thursday. They fight over wrist control to start until Evan hits an uncharacteristic press slam. A more likely dropkick sends Blitzkrieg to the floor for a big dive as Tony and Bobby talk about the West Hollywood Blonds, dropping that name for the first time. Back in and Blitzkrieg hides behind the referee for a distraction, allowing him to elbow Evan in the face. A big flip dive misses though and a top rope cross body gets two for Evan. Cue Sid as Evan hits a spinning top rope splash for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C. This is actually a better step as they’re at least letting the matches end before they get to the Sid interference. That really isn’t too much to ask in theory, but for WCW it comes off like a miracle. Not much to see here due to time, but at least they’re pushing Evan as the next challenger.

Sid beats them both up and challenges Goldberg for Halloween Havoc, as long as Goldberg doesn’t touch him first. Well at least there’s a focus now.

Revolution video.

Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero

Saturn knocks Eddie into the ropes to start so he comes back with a hurricanrana and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Saturn down. The Revolution pulls Eddie outside for a beating and we take an early break. Of course that somehow doesn’t end the match via disqualification but why would that happen? Back with Guerrero armdragging out of a chinlock and nailing a sweet springboard tornado DDT. That was just awesome looking.

Eddie walks the top rope into a hurricanrana to take Saturn down again but Perry pops back up with a belly to belly. A huge top rope elbow drop gets two for Saturn and it’s Death Valley Driver time. Eddie rolls into a victory roll for two, perhaps because Saturn took time to signal for his finisher move. Saturn loads up a superplex but gets hurricanranaed down, only to avoid the Frog Splash. Eddie ducks a charge and sends him outside to trigger a huge brawl with the Animals. In the melee, Shane nails Eddie with a chain which Saturn sees and doesn’t like. After a staredown with Shane, Saturn covers for the pin.

Rating: B-. This is your token good match of the week but it still doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere. I’m hoping this leads to the end of Douglas in the group as he just doesn’t fit with the idea. If nothing else, he just showed up one day and was suddenly part of a team who was tired of being held down by WCW after being with the company for all of a week.

Here’s Hogan to ignore his history with Flair (as in history dating back about six months at this point) and say how much he and Hart care about him as they head into the six man tag. I mean, Flair is totally cool with Hogan after the NWO kidnapped him into a field and beat the living tar out of him or broke up the Flair family? This is just a hard sell for the six man.

Recap of Shaggy pinning Lane in the tag match last week.

Insane Clown Posse music video. YOU WILL CARE ABOUT THEM!

Cruiserweight Title: Shaggy 2 Dope vs. Lenny Lane

A quick ICP chant breaks out which I’m sure is enough to validate this horrible idea. Tony Mamaluke runs in again but gets punched in the jaw by Lodi, allowing security to handcuff him. As he’s being taken away, Tony shouts about his brother coming soon. Back to the comedy match, Lenny jumps into the referee’s arms but gets dropped on his back, allowing Shaggy to slam him down for two.

The guillotine legdrop misses and a gutwrench sitout powerbomb gets two for the champ. Lenny does the slow, crawling cover so Shaggy comes out of the corner with a bad looking running Liger Bomb for two more. Lodi trips Shaggy to the floor (not a DQ of course. The more interesting question is what does it actually take to get a DQ in this company?) but Shaggy knocks him onto J. and Vampiro, which somehow knocks him out, allowing Lenny to get the pin.

Rating: D-. And that’s IT. Just stop with the stupid Clown matches and get them out of this company so we can see some real wrestlers for a change. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Lenny and Lodi deserve better than this. I really shouldn’t be nervous that someone is going to get maimed because a Clown is trying to drop a top rope legdrop and has no idea what he’s doing and no one should have to take the move. Bad match and the ending made no sense.

Here’s Rick Steiner to brag about how awesome his brother and Sid both are. This brings out a HUGE Scott Steiner to brag about how he’s been chasing Wilt Chamberlain’s record. Apparently he just found out that the NWO is done, meaning someone who seems to be a top heel hasn’t been paying attention in four months. Speaking of those months, he doesn’t tell us where he’s been, nor has WCW told us anything about his whereabouts. He wants to fight Hogan, which could be such a disaster that it’s one of the most entertaining messes in history.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

Feeling out process to start with Booker nailing an early dropkick to take over. Kanyon bails to the floor, nearly falls over laughing at Stevie’s intimidating face, and rolls back inside. Mr. T. scores with his usual stuff and knocks Kanyon back outside, only to be sent into the barricade for his efforts. A suplex brings Booker back in and a middle rope Fameasser gets two. We continue stealing popular WWF moves with a Rock Bottom to Kanyon (not yet named the Book End) and the usual kicks, followed by the missile dropkick to pin Kanyon.

Rating: C-. This was fine with both guys getting to show off in a short match. I mean, it’s not like they could have given any more time to this because we needed to hear from the old guys all night instead. As usual, the talented guys give us a reprieve from the boring nature of the old guard, but this didn’t have the time to get anywhere.

Ric Flair vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Flair jumps him in the aisle and the fight starts fast. They head into the crowd with Page trying to stagger away but eating more right hands to the jaw. Page finally gets inside and nails Flair in the ribs to take over. The backdrop sends Flair onto his shoulder as always and sets up a pelvic thrust elbow, which is totally not like the Rock’s big move whatsoever. We hit the chinlock for some very loud spot calling before they slug it out. A lot blow sets up the Figure Four but Sting comes in to break it up, only to miss that big elbow. Some things never change. Sting gets put in the Figure Four but Luger comes in with the bat for the DQ.

Rating: D. You know, some people might want to see the World Title match closing the show instead of this mess but we can’t have Benoit closing the show. This was angle advancement instead of a match to set up the six man next week. Page is nothing at this point and it’s getting more and more clear every week.

Hogan comes in and takes a bat shot to the knee so Flair dives on top of Hogan to protect him. If Flair has ever done something more out of character, I’ve never seen it.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was significantly better this week but it was still nothing great. That being said, you can still see that the younger guys and the harder workers are locked in one part of the roster while the rest of the company is firmly in the other half. Benoit’s title shot was little more than a plot device to set up the next week’s main event, which is just another six man tag. The lack of continuity with the stories is frustrating, but at least we’re finally getting somewhere with Sid vs. Goldberg. It won’t be any good, but at least Sid isn’t destroying my soul anymore.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – February 9, 2015: Everyone Loves A Loser

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 9, 2015
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We have a much better idea of what to expect at Fast Lane after last week and the Daniel Bryan fans have a lot more hope going forward. There are two weeks left before Fast Lane, meaning it’s all about the build to the show. It’s going to be interesting to see how Reigns handles his adversity last week going forward. Let’s get to it.

We recap last week’s events with the Authority making Bryan vs. Rollins for the shot at Reigns at Fast Lane.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Roman Reigns and we look at his events from last week. Roman says he stood in this ring last week as the #1 contender for the World Title at Wrestlemania, meaning the title was as good as his. Then the Authority showed up last week and made it clear that they don’t want Reigns in that spot. That’s fine with Reigns because he has more than enough spears to go around.

Cue Bryan who thanks Reigns for the help against Rollins and to say he’s ready for Fast Lane. This brings out the Authority to bring up Reigns’ lost last week and rip on Bryan for putting Kane in the casket. Bryan: “Given what your husband has done in caskets, I thought you would enjoy it.” Stephanie makes Reigns/Bryan vs. Kane/Big Show right now. Now I know this sounds bad, but think of it this way: if they do this match, neither guy can wrestle again later. Just get it over with at the same time.

Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show/Kane

Bryan sends Kane to the floor to start for the Flying Goat and it’s quickly off to Reigns vs. Big Show. The Authority takes over in the corner with their variety of right hands and forearms, followed by Kane’s bad chinlock. Even the director gets bored with this one so they go to a clip of the spear to Big Show last week. Reigns fights out and suplexes Kane down, setting up the double tag to Bryan and Big Show.

Daniel busts out all the kicks and sends him to the floor with the big YES Kick. Kane and Show easily catch him in the air though and send Bryan back first into the ropes as we take a break. Am I missing something or did Bryan just go down to the equivalent of an Irish whip? Back with Big Show holding Bryan in a chinlock before it’s off to Kane for a bearhug. STOP PUSHING THESE TWO ALREADY! Big Show misses the Vader Bomb elbow but Kane breaks up the hot tag attempt. That earns Kane a YES Lock but it’s Show pulling Bryan to the floor. He throws Bryan into the timekeeper’s area for a fast DQ at 12:00.

Rating: D. The match was boring but as usual, the main issue here is these feuds still going for no reason other than the script saying they have to. Big Show and Kane are as dull and uninteresting of a pair of guys as I’ve seen since Bundy and Studd, and this is a far different time than their era. And, to go back to an old standard, was there ANY REASON why Kane didn’t tap out here? This just had to be a DQ?

Post match Reigns destroys Show with a chair but gets knocked into the corner by Kane. Bryan tries the running dropkick on Kane but hits Reigns by mistake. Roman shoves him down, so HHH makes Reigns/Bryan vs. Kane/Big Show/Mercury/Noble/Rollins. DEAR GOODNESS WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS AGAIN???

Seth Rollins vs. Ryback

Rollins, the fifth guy to work two matches tonight so far, quickly knocks him onto the floor to start before putting on a front facelock back inside. Ryback shoves him to the floor and fights off the Stooges, only to have them break up the Shell Shock attempt for the DQ at 2:59.

Ryback gets curb stomped post match.

Sheamus is coming back.

Paige vs. Brie Bella

Freaking BRIE MODE is back. I was told that was leaving and now I have to hear it again. I hate this company at times. Brie kicks her down for two to start and hits the running knee to chest (which is close enough to Bryan’s finisher to make it a nice idea) for two more. The middle rope dropkick gets the same as Paige hasn’t had any offense so far. A double slap staggers both girls but a Nikki distraction backfires, setting up Rampaige for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D-. The Bellas are such a disaster on top of the division. They’ve actually gotten a bit better in the ring, but my goodness they’re the least interesting act I’ve seen in years. This idea that they’ve fought so hard to get to the top of the division doesn’t hold up and their matches are some of the worst messes I’ve seen in a long time. But they make the top stars happy and that’s all that matters.

Here are Rusev and Lane to pay tribute to John Cena. After some microphone feedback, they agree that Cena has accomplished great things in WWE and just like the Oscars or Grammys, they want to acknowledge someone who has done so much. We get a quick montage of Cena winning before going to clips of some of his worst beatings. Lana wonders how Cena can keep going through all this punishment over the years. Rusev talks about how Cena is no longer full of ruthless aggression and is now just a weak nothing. He’ll break Cena at Fast Lane and crush his spirit.

Cue Cena, sporting a black eye for a rebuttal. He says Rusev thinks he’s already won the match at Fast Lane, so why bother having the match at all? It’s because so many people are sick of hearing Rusev and Lana run their mouths all over the place. Yeah Cena has taken some beatings over the years and suffered a lot of injuries but he keeps getting back up. Cena is going to hit Rusev in the mouth at Fast Lane and adjust his attitude. Some more trash talking leads to a brawl with Cena getting the better of it until Rusev gets in a shot to the bad eye and sends him into the set. This was fine.

Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rematch from last week. Ziggler goes for the leg to start and the fans are split on who to cheer for, though Dolph’s cheers are louder. A dropkick sends Bray into the ropes but he elbows Dolph in the jaw to take over. Dolph avoids a charge in the corner and scores with a neckbreaker before snapping Bray’s throat over the top rope as we take a break.

Back with Bray holding a chinlock before hitting that running cross body. There’s something to be said about someone just launching themselves at their opponent. Dolph ducks a big clothesline and nails another dropkick to put both guys down. The Fameasser and a superkick get two on Bray but he takes Ziggler’s head off with the clothesline on the floor. Back in and the Spider Walk sets up Sister Abigail for the pin at 11:40.

Rating: C+. This was good, though the same thing as last week. Bray looked like his old monster self here though and it was one of the more entertaining things I’ve seen from him in a good while. Ziggler’s push coming off Survivor Series has been a complete waste, but does that really surprise anyone?

Junkyard Dog Black History Month video.

Here are Lesnar and Heyman to address the Fast Lane situation. Heyman brings up the Brian Williams controversy and calls Reigns and Bryan the biggest liars in the land. Both of them say that they’re fighting for a chance to go to Wrestlemania but they’re just lying to themselves. Let’s start with Roman Reigns: the most violent dude from the most violent tribe from the most violent island in all of Samoa. Heyman stood next to him and it was clear that Reigns was terrified of Lesnar.

Then there’s Bryan, who clearly has no chance against Lesnar. It’s not just the size difference because Bryan can back it up with ability and can pull off miracle after miracle, but do you really think he’s the one to beat the one in twenty one and one? Let’s get to the point: whoever wins the match at Fast Lane should jump in a helicopter with Brian Williams and subject themselves to enemy fire, because it will be less dangerous than the F5 waiting for them at Wrestlemania. Again, this was fine.

New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust

Woods is on the floor again. Kofi and Stardust get things going with the painted one scoring with a shoulder and cartwheeling. Goldust tags himself in and that’s already enough for Stardust, who walks out. Kofi gets the pin off a rollup at 1:38.

We look back at Reigns and Bryan having issues earlier tonight.

Bryan says he probably would have done the same thing to Reigns in the heat of the moment. Roman comes in and says they should work together tonight so they can handle their business at Wrestlemania. Daniel doesn’t react.

Post break Goldust says this is Dustin talking and says Cody is his brother. Stardust shoves him and says Cody is dead.

Here’s HHH to address Sting. He’s been around this company for twenty years to make this a better place. Now he has to deal with the face of WCW, a company he helped destroy fourteen years ago. Then at Survivor Series, Sting had to attack like a coward. That’s why HHH is calling him out at Fast lane to meet him face to face so he can explain to Sting why he was right to wait. If Sting shows up, he’ll be allowed to leave with his face intact and never come back again.

The lights dim and a crow is heard. We go to a creepy video with HHH talking and Sting paint superimposed over his face. The fans want Sting and we see someone in the ring (clearly not the real Sting) who scares HHH so badly that he falls down. The words I ACCEPT appear on the screen and the guy is gone.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

Non-title again and Cole says the rumor is a win could get Kidd and Cesaro in the title hunt. Lines like those are what make me hate WWE commentary. Jimmy slams Kidd down to start and it’s off to Jey as the announcers talk about the double date from Smackdown. Everyone falls out to the floor and the girls get in an argument as we take a break. Back with Jimmy suplexing Kidd but Cesaro breaks up the tag.

The heels take turns putting on chinlocks before Cesaro just hammers Jimmy’s face. Jimmy scores with an enziguri to knock Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings in Jey to face Kidd. Tyson blocks a dive but jumps into a superkick for a close two. The Running Umaga Attack misses and Cesaro shoves Jey off the top to give Kidd the pin at 10:37.

Rating: D+. GET. NEW. WRITERS! For the love of all things good and holy I’m so sick of seeing challengers beat the champions to get a title shot. Shut up with this nonsense about “getting a win to get in the title hunt” because THERE IS NO FREAKING TITLE HUNT! You have three teams having the same matches over and over again and see the division die more and more every single day. The Usos losing here makes the titles look even weaker, and now I’m supposed to want to see these teams fight again just because the worthless titles are on the line?

I would suggest that Kidd and Cesaro beat some teams to earn a title shot, but who are they supposed to beat? New Day? Los Matadores? As in the teams that have lost so many times that the wins mean nothing? We have probably ten people down in NXT spinning their wheels who have been ready for the big show for months but there’s just no room for them on the main roster? Are you kidding me? Get someone new in there so we can stop doing these same stupid ideas over and over again.

Rikishi is announced for the Hall of Fame. The loser Usos dance to celebrate. Does no one think before they map out these shows?

Damien Mizdow vs. Sin Cara

Miz makes Mizdow take off the sunglasses because he isn’t the stunt double anymore. Damien takes over but gets sent outside where Miz requests a water. That’s not enough thought as Miz wants him to open the water. The distraction lets Cara hit a dive over the top to take over as Miz isn’t very interested. The Reality Check puts Cara down but Miz freaks out over the Figure Four, allowing Cara to small package Mizdow for the pin at 3:43.

Rating: D+. This was story development more than a match, but instead of doing something like having Mizdow be better than Miz, we have Mizdow lose to give us yet another loser to cheer for, because, again, THE FREAKING WRITERS DON’T THINK THROUGH THIS NONSENSE BEFORE THEY THROW IT ON TV!

Bray Wyatt asks where we go when we die. Some say we become part of the earth, but some say we go on to eternity. People like him and whoever he’s talking about though are stuck on earth for the rest of time. They don’t belong here but Bray doesn’t fear him. He pities the man he speaks to because it’s time for that man to go home.

Sheamus is still coming back. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.

Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel

In case Axel getting squashed on Smackdown didn’t get the idea through your head. Axel says no one is going to take this from him, not even Kanye West. Dean hammers him up against the ropes to start but Axel knees him in the face and rubs Dean into the mat. We hit the early chinlock but Dean fights up with the rebound clothesline and Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:40. The match was nothing special, but they lost me when I was told Axel was a third generation sports entertainer.

Dean won’t stop until he gets his Intercontinental Title shot. Barrett pops up and says the BNZ (Bad News Zone) still says Dean gets no shot.

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns vs. Big Show/Kane/Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble/Seth Rollins

Here’s your “we have nothing else so here’s a big mess” main event. The five rush the two before the bell and it’s a big brawl to start. A double chokeslam plants Reigns and of course none of this warrants a DQ, meaning Bryan pulls himself up to start with Rollins. Seth talks a lot of trash and it’s off to Big Show for a slam. Reigns is nowhere in sight after the pre-match attack.

Noble comes in and gets sent into the middle turnbuckle but Mercury comes in to keep control. Seth has to break up a YES Lock and it’s off to Kane to continue the feud that will not die. Reigns finally gets up and starts beating people up but Big Show KO’s him with ease. A buckle bomb gets two on Bryan and the giants load up the announcers’ table.

Cue Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler for the save and the match…..isn’t thrown out despite three people interfering and fighting three legal men to the back. It’s the Stooges vs. Bryan now with Reigns still down. The running knee is loaded up but Reigns tags himself in and spears Mercury for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: D. This was SUCH a great way to make me want to see Reigns vs. Bryan. I mean, I don’t know about you, but seeing Kane and Big Show destroy everyone in their path is clearly the most interesting thing in the world. Boring match here and just a glorified squash because the Authority must look strong no matter what. To sum up this match, Bryan and Reigns can’t combine to beat up Big Show/Kane/Rollins, but can beat up two Stooges. I’m so glad I sat through two matches tonight to establish that fact.

Bryan is upset at Reigns for trying to leave. He shoves Roman away and eats a spear to end the show with Reigns getting a heel reaction.

Overall Rating: D+. This show got a lot better after the first half hour, but my goodness a lot of the booking on here drove me insane. It’s clear that this company either doesn’t think these shows through before airing them or just doesn’t care that people actually see them. I have no reason to care about a lot of the people I’m supposed to care about in so many of these stories for one simple reason: people don’t cheer for losers. Why is that so hard to comprehend?

Another thing that should be easily comprehended: there is no need for a PPV between the Rumble and Wrestlemania. Just let us have a long build instead of this mess. You could easily do Reigns vs. Bryan as a major Raw match and then save the rest of the stuff either for Wrestlemania or just not do it because the stories aren’t all that great. I get the Network business idea behind it, but that doesn’t do much for the on screen product.

Results

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Big Show via DQ when Show threw Bryan into the timekeeper’s area

Ryback b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered

Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige

Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

New Day b. Goldust/Stardust – Rollup to Goldust

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Usos – Kidd pinned Jey after Cesaro shoved him off the top rope

Sin Cara b. Damien Mizdow – Small package

Dean Ambrose b. Curtis Axel – Dirty Deeds

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble/Seth Rollins/Big Show/Kane – Spear to Mercury

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: February 2, 2015

The big idea coming into this week was HHH promising to shake up the WWE and end the controversy that ended the Royal Rumble. That led to the big question: what was the controversy? Reigns won the Rumble by eliminating Rusev and is going to Wrestlemania, but as usual the fans wanted Daniel Bryan. That’s the best theory we have coming into this show so let’s get to it.

The big announcement opened the show and I’ll give a very quick recap: Rock interfered in the Rumble before Rusev was gone so Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan will fight in the main event for the right to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rusev was never mentioned once in the promo. This led to Big Show vs. Roman Reigns with Big Show pinning Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in less than three minutes (with an assist from Rollins and the briefcase).

We’re now going to jump to something a bit different. A few hours after the show ended, I was talking to my fiance, who has been watching wrestling for over twenty years. I looked at her and explained the first thirty minutes of this show. Her face went from its usual smile to confusion, awe and bordering on shock. She didn’t know how to respond to anything I explained to her and eventually just said “what”. Not a question, but a statement. What.

That’s somewhere around where I am too. Read over what happened and explain to me how the decision makes sense. For those of you that have ever taken a logic class, the premises make sense but the conclusion doesn’t fit. Yes, there was some controversy to end the Rumble. Yes, Rusev might have a claim to an unfair loss. Yes, Daniel Bryan deserves a rematch for the World Title as he never lost the belt. Solution: Bryan vs. Rollins with Rusev not being a factor. THAT DOESN’T ADD UP!

Just…..it doesn’t make sense. If they haven’t set up Rusev vs. Cena already, you could set up Bryan vs. Rusev instead of Bryan vs. Rollins tonight and have Cena cost Rusev the match (by countout of course), giving you Bryan vs. Reigns and Cena vs. Rusev with logical stories instead of this mess. But instead, they rushed into the matches without enough thinking, meaning the whole thing is a mess that doesn’t make a ton of sense and leaves fans talking about the buildup instead of the end goal. Short version: slow down and think instead of just barreling into the matches without using some logic.

That brings us to Reigns vs. Big Show, which gives me a similar reaction. The more I think about it, the more I don’t hate the idea. Giving Reigns a loss is a good way to build some adversity for him and keep him from being just another Superman. As I’ve said before, Roman Reigns needs to be Roman Reigns, not a Samoan John Cena. Having him lose early is actually going to be a relief to him later on and also takes away some of the certainty of him winning at Wrestlemania.

But……..WHY WAS THE LOSS TO THE BIG SHOW??? Of all the people on the roster, they felt that he needed to be the first man to defeat Roman Reigns? There was no one, like say Seth Rollins, that would have gotten more out of such a win? I can’t believe WWE thinks this is a hot feud and it almost has to be just sticking it to the fans at this point. On top of that though, there is almost no logical reason for them to have fought again. Reigns pinned him clean on Smackdown, so why are they fighting again? Bad match, questionable at best booking, and a way to tick the fans off. As was said earlier, what.

Oh yeah other stuff happened on this show.

Curtis Axel has a new catchphrase: Don’t change the channel. As much as I like Axel and think his potential has been wasted, that line made me chuckle, which says a lot after the mess I’ve seen so far tonight. Anyway, he thinks he got ripped off at Wrestlemania and ate Dirty Deeds from Ambrose for his opinion. Dean wants the Intercontinental Title, which is as good as anything else he could get around this time.

Stardust and Goldust are having issues and lost to Ascension. People have been asking for this feud for like ever so why not now. Oh and Stardust doesn’t like being called Cody.

Cena came out to recap his feuds with Rusev and the Authority but Stephanie came out to make matches for the three guys that were fired for Survivor Series. I’ve said this far too many times now, but can we PLEASE move on past Survivor Series? That show was two and a half months ago and it’s still a major driver of stories. Can’t they come up with something fresh by this point? I’m over the idea of seeing these three guys being tortured because of one match that doesn’t mean anything, but WWE seems to think it’s the most interesting idea they’ve ever seen.

Ryback beat Luke Harper because Harper is a former Intercontinental Champion and therefore doesn’t get to have much success.

Cesaro beat Jimmy Uso because of something about a double date and because Cesaro and Kidd winning one match makes them the next challengers for the titles. With all that talent they have, there’s no room to bring people up? They can’t throw Itami and Balor together on the main roster like they’ve thrown them together in NXT? Get them onto the main roster and then let them go their separate ways after giving us a decent title program? No, instead it’s the same “well we won a match!” build that people have been complaining about for years now but WWE doesn’t seem to be able to correct.

Miz fired Mizdow and made him a personal assistant. It’s about time on this one as the stunt double thing stopped making sense about ten seconds after it started. Miz has basically been fighting a bunch of handicap matches while Mizdow hasn’t been allowed to contribute anything. It’s like hiring a chef but not letting them cook anything because you think you’re better in the kitchen. The whole thing never made sense and Mizdow is over for all the wrong reasons, which to be fair is better than not being over at all.

Wyatt beat Ziggler in a decent match, which seems to be the start of a rumored Ziggler heel turn. I’ve heard of worse ideas as he’s been abused by the Authority for months, so why not have him give up? I mean, we can’t have him get revenge on the Authority and make them look bad, because WWE is little more than an Authority vanity project when they’re involved.

While talking to the Authority, Rollins name dropped Randy Orton. That’s going to be an interesting return as it could open up a lot of doors in the main event scene.

Paige beat Alicia Fox and was attacked by the Bellas to further set up her title shot. The Bellas have just drained whatever energy this division had going for it. Yeah they’re better than they used to be and I’ll take this a million times over “and I’ve never told anyone about this”, but my goodness the Bellas just aren’t interesting.

Mizdow cost Miz his match against Sin Cara, which I don’t think surprised anyone.

Rusev beat up Rowan before their match and Accoladed him. The Russian flag messed up but the announcers actually covered it by saying Cena might have sabotaged it. It’s nice to see them tie a mistake into a bit of a storyline advancement.

Bryan came in to talk to Reigns and was basically told to get out before he was thrown out. This was the kind of emotion and aggression we haven’t seen from Reigns in a long time and it was a good sign for him.

Bryan beat Rollins with an unintentional assist from Reigns. It was probably the only way they could have gone and the match was the best thing that happened all night. There isn’t much else to say here as it was Bryan vs. Rollins for seventeen minutes. What more do you need to hear?

Overall this Raw felt like getting punched in the jaw to knock out a sore tooth. Yeah your problem is solved, but now you’re annoyed and sore instead of just in pain. I’m really not sure how this was the best option they could come to, but at least we’re getting Reigns in a major singles match before Wrestlemania. A win over Bryan could take away some of the heat on him, especially if it’s a clean win in a good match.

The first half hour of this show really drained me, but it’s not quite as bad looking back at it a week later. Still though, this is a really weird way to get where they needed to go and could have been handled a lot better if they had just stopped and thought for a minute. Again, why not just have Rusev vs. Bryan with Cena costing Rusev the match and set up the Rollins stuff later? It makes sense and keeps Rusev involved, which was the whole point of the controversy in the first place.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – March 24, 1997: Bret’s Magnum Opus

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 24, 1997
Location: Metro Center, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 7,557
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Wrestlemania has passed and we have a new savior in the form of Steve Austin. Last night, in one of the most famous (and best) matches of all time, Austin turned face for the first time and refused to give up to the Sharpshooter, eventually passing out from the pain. This made Austin the superstar he was destined to be and kicked off one of the best stretches the company has ever had. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

After a quick recap of last night, we’re told Mankind is the #1 contender. Why you ask? Well I ask as well but there’s no explanation given. Just go with it.

Tag Team Titles: Headbangers vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog

The Headbangers won a fourway match last night to earn this shot. Owen spins out of Mosh’s wristlock to start and dragon screw leg whips him down. Off to the Bulldog vs. Thrasher with Davey taking over and dropping Owen into a splash for two. The Legion of Doom, also named #1 contenders without much of a reason, are in the back and say they want the belts.

Vince asks about the kitchen sink Hawk brought in last night and Hawk says he didn’t like the stainless steel. It takes a lot to make a line like that work but Hawk somehow pulls it off. Mosh gets delayed suplexed for no cover but it’s quickly off to Thrasher for an elbow to the jaw and a chinlock. Back up and Bulldog runs into Owen by mistake as the issues continue. Hart actually walks out and we take a break. Back with the Headbangers getting two off something like a Trash Compactor on the Bulldog.

More stomping has him in trouble but a double DDT finally puts the Headbangers down. Owen comes in to speed things up but tags Bulldog back in just a few seconds later. The champs tag again just a few seconds later as you can see the issues growing. Owen missile dropkicks Thrasher for two and there’s the Sharpshooter but Mosh makes the save. Bulldog sneaks in for the powerslam but Owen doesn’t want the pin that way. As they argue, Bulldog shoves the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: C. This took its time getting going but the challengers could have been any given warm bodies. It’s another part of the big story in the company and it’s going to get even better very soon. I’m not sure why the Headbangers were as over as they were but I never quite got their appeal. The DQ ending makes sense here too as the champs fighting is now costing them a match. That’s called building a story and when done right, it’s as good as wrestling gets.

The champs get in a fight post match until referees have to break it up. Owen gets the mic and says he’s the real star of the team and wants a European Title shot. Bulldog says he beat him in Berlin for the title and he’ll beat him again next week because he carries this team. Oh yeah this is about to get awesome in a hurry.

Mankind is sitting in the boiler room and says Paul Bearer is gone for reasons not explained. He needs his family and begs Uncle Paul to come back. Don’t make him find you Paul. Bray Wyatt reminds me more of this Mankind every day and that’s a very good thing.

Bart Gunn vs. HHH

Before the match, Bret Hart pops up on screen and says this was supposed to be his time but Vince McMahon keeps taking it away. Vince says that can’t happen if there’s more of the language he used last week and Bret is granted the time later tonight. Feeling out process to start and Bart nails a shoulder block before getting a lesson chopped into him in the corner.

A gorilla press puts HHH down but he avoids an elbow drop as this isn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Instead they switch it up to show a split screen with Goldust next to Marlena’s chair, talking about how hard it was to see her hurt last night. Next week, he’s coming for his revenge. See how simple these stories are? It’s all about the delivery and the execution of those stories and it made for some incredible television. Lawler is already into the movie title puns as HHH beats up Bart Gunn like he’s HHH and his opponent is Bart Gunn.

An elbow gets two on Gunn but he comes back with a powerslam as Vince previews later in the night to try and keep the fans awake. Chyna low bridges Gunn to the floor (with Bart being enough of a gentleman to fall before Chyna touched the ropes) and posts him, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah what else are you expecting here? At the end of the day, it’s Bart Gunn vs. HHH in a seven minute match that was more about Chyna than anything else. It’s not a good match and it’s not anything interesting, but that was the case for the midcard at times. They were still trying to figure this part out, and HHH was still in a weird place.

Slammys recap with Todd Pettengill singing for some reason. This was back when it was something like an awards show instead of whatever they are now.

Maniaco/Hysterio/Abismo Negro vs. Venum/Super Nova/Discovery

I only know two of these guys and I’m at Vince’s mercy to tell me who is who. We cut to Bret not thirty seconds into the match to complain about not getting his time. To be fair, he really should be on there than this nothing match. We’re finally told that Venum backflips into the ring but eats a spinwheel kick from Hysteria. A headscissors puts Hysteria down and a headscissors does the same.

Hysteria goes up top but gets dropkicked to the floor, only to have him avoid a Venum dive. I think Abismo Negro comes in to chop Discovery but Discovery botches a springboard wristdrag. The announcers aren’t giving us anything but house show ads at this point so I’m completely lost. Everything breaks down and they unleash the dives with Venum botching a handspring kick into let’s say Nova, but Nova missile dropkicks Negro. Back up and a bad looking top rope hurricanrana is enough to pin Maniaco.

Rating: D+. The high flying was passable but nothing more than that. However, this was the worst commentary I’ve ever seen. The announcers clearly had no idea who the wrestlers were and didn’t care enough to find out. I mean, you can’t put “Nova wears blue” on a piece of paper in front of you? The match was nothing special, but my goodness the commentary was a disaster.

Earlier today, before the fans came in, Rocky Johnson and Rocky Maivia were sitting in the empty arena with the younger one being glad his father was there to help save him last night as a surprise. The dad promises to never interfere again.

Flash Funk vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Honky Tonk Man is on commentary again and seems to hate everything about Funk. The Brawler jumps him to start and hammers away with that incredibly successful offense of his. Funk comes back with right hands and a kind of reverse t-bone suplex to send Brawler outside. A nice dive takes Brawler down again and the 450 is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. The Brooklyn Brawler is getting TV time in 1997. Is there any doubt as to why this show is such a mess at this point? I mean, these matches are just there as a way for the announcers to hype up stuff later on, which isn’t exactly the same as setting up Sting vs. Hogan for later in the year.

Ken Shamrock says he stopped the match last night because Austin was unconscious. Somehow this takes about two minutes, mainly because Vince won’t stop asking him questions after Shamrock said why he stopped it. That kind of answers everything Vince wants to know but he keeps asking the same question in different ways. Shamrock doesn’t like Austin but he respects him after that performance.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s Bret for his much requested interview time. He takes the mic from JR and sends him to the corner before apologizing to his fans all over Europe, Japan, the Far and Middle East and of course Canada for his actions last night. However, he certainly does not apologize to the fans here in America because they won’t cheer for him no matter how hard he tries or how hard he wins.

The fans’ reactions make him feel like he lost to a gutless creep like Steve Austin. Bret brings up the loss last year to Shawn, who screwed him out of the World Title with the overtime of the Iron Man match. He was watching the show from Canada and said the company needs a hero. Vince is shown looking very uncomfortable. Bret brings up Shawn posing in a girly magazine (Playgirl) but calls it a gay magazine for a line that would get him fired today.

Then he came back and fought Steve Austin and Sid but Shawn cost him the title. No one cared though because Shawn is the golden boy. All Bret had to do then was win the Royal Rumble, which was fine with him. He went in the Rumble and won but Austin came back in and was declared the winner. A better man would have quit and gone home, but that’s not what he did. Instead he has Monsoon and McMahon begging him to stick around and they came up with this idea called the Final Four for the Wrestlemania title shot.

Ok fine, but then Shawn bailed out of the title shot because of a fake knee injury. Bret won the title by beating three guys in one night, but that STILL wasn’t enough because he had to defend the title the next night on Raw. That was fine too because he doesn’t run away and claim a fake injury. Sid was in the Sharpshooter but the fans booed Bret anyway. Then Austin came in and hit him in the head with a steel chair, but that’s acceptable in America.

The fans said Bret cried to Monsoon for a match with Austin so he was given a submission match, plus a World Title match against Sid inside a steel cage. Well Bret had that won too but Austin and Undertaker cost him the title again. That left him with one thing on his mind: giving Austin the beating that he deserved.

Bret gave Austin the beating of his life but the fans STILL booed him. He’s proven himself every single time in the WWF and tried to be everything the fans want, but they don’t understand what it means to have some poise and class. You would rather cheer for Charles Manson and O.J. Simpson because no one glorifies criminals like Americans. Everywhere else around the world, the fans still believe in him and have some respect. It’s clear to him now that no American fan respects him, but the fact is he doesn’t respect them either. They’re done from here on in.

This brings out Shawn Michaels to say that no one knows more than him that it takes divine intervention to get that belt off of Bret (inside reference #1). It’s not his fault that he chooses to live an open life and it doesn’t make Bret the better man. As far as Austin is concerned, Shawn was there last night and Austin never gave up. Even Bret has to admit that Austin is tough. Shawn isn’t ready to fight tonight and he’s fine with not being the #1 guy. He isn’t obsessed with this like Bret, the “Mark Man” (inside reference #1).

These fans have the right to cheer or boo anyone they want because there’s a thing in America called the First Amendment, which means they can do whatever they want without repercussion, even if Bret doesn’t like it. Shawn says Bret can love America or leave it so Bret tells him to get out. They stare each other down and Shawn says he isn’t good with authority. Oh by the way: how did Bret know he was in that magazine? “You just had to flip through the pages didn’t you?”

That’s enough for Bret as he kicks out the bad knee and puts him in the Figure Four around the post to make Shawn scream in pain. The fans chant for Shamrock but get Vince himself coming over to try and break the hold. That works as well as you would think so Sid comes out to chase Bret away and finally get him off Shawn as we go to a break and not a minute too soon as I need a chance to breathe that was one of the best segments I’ve ever seen.

Bret is so perfect for this character for a lot of reasons, but there’s one above all others: he’s built himself up so well over the years and been such a quiet guy most of the time that when you finally see something else, it makes the whole eruption so different. Bret let out every bit of frustration and anger he’s built up over a year and it creates a real divide among people who loved Bret and agree with everything, and the others who don’t like having words put in their mouth and see Bret’s actions as that of a whiny coward who doesn’t have his precious title anymore.

You can also see a lot of CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb in this tirade as just like Punk, Bret turned his back on the people after doing everything he said over the years and complaining about a lack of respect. The idea of having no one left to trust made Bret the company’s top heel and really signaled a changing of the guard. Bret is instantly back at the top of the company and has a set of feuds ready for him.

On top of all that, Bret’s delivery can’t be overlooked. People never give him enough credit for his promo abilities and I think that’s due to him not being the most emotional guy in the world. He isn’t funny most of the time and he doesn’t show a ton of emotion, but he gets his point across very well and makes you listen to him. It’s similar to an Arn Anderson who broke things down to the most basic levels but kept you paying attention because you could understand every thing he said. Absolutely incredible stuff here and worth going out of your way to find.

Rocky Maivia vs. Leif Cassidy

Non-title and joined in progress after a break with the two fighting on the floor. Maivia hits a dive off the apron into a cross body as Bret comes out again. Hart sits in on commentary and says he’s opened his eyes. Cassidy gets two off something we didn’t see, but we do see Shawn being helped out of the building with a big bandage around his knee. The champ avoids a frog splash, hits the Maivia Hurricane and wins with the high cross body in a backdrop for Bret’s latest tirade against America on commentary.

Bret decks Maivia and leaves.

Savio Vega vs. Ahmed Johnson

Ahmed starts fast but misses a charge into the post. The Nation (minus an injured Faarooq) is standing on the stage as Vega stomps and chokes a lot. The fans aren’t really into this one and can you blame them after what they’ve seen? More choking ensues as there’s just nothing to talk about in this match.

A horrible looking atomic drop from Johnson gives him control and they fall out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Johnson hitting a delayed suplex and a top rope flip dive (Johnson was a FREAK) but missing a big elbow. Vega’s sleeper eats up more time but Ahmed fights up and hits a Rock Bottom of all things. A spinebuster brings the Nation in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. REALLY dull match here to fill in some time near the end of the show but Johnson’s offense, while sloppy, was kind of mind blowing. Vega was nearing the end of his limited usefulness here and it’s no surprise that the Nation would be changed soon after this. Boring match.

After chasing them off with a 2×4, Ahmed issues a challenge to the Nation for a match at In Your House where the Nation is gone if he wins. This took me about five minutes to understand, despite it only lasting thirty seconds.

Paul Bearer doesn’t want to talk.

Here’s Undertaker to close the show. Yeah remember him? The new World Champion? He welcomes the Creatures to the dark days of this company because this title belongs to them and he’ll be the knight that fights anyone who opposes them. Undertaker thanks Sid for the match last night and promises him a rematch when it’s Sid’s time. This reign will be longer than his first because he’ll stay sharp with opponents like Mankind. The Mandible Claw can stop anyone, but here’s Bearer before Undertaker can keep going. Mankind pops up on screen to shout for his Uncle Paul but the show goes off the air before much is said.

Overall Rating: C+. It takes quite the promo segment to turn this horrible night of wrestling into a show that has me drooling to see more. Bret was on the roll of a lifetime here and the upcoming stories are going to be even better. Austin is coming back next week and there’s almost no way this isn’t going to be incredible. Unfortunately the rest of the show pretty much sucked, with almost nothing interesting going on and a bunch of time being wasted until Bret could come back out and do more. The midcard was coming, but it wasn’t there yet.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thought of the Day: The One Thing About NXT

I know I come up with one or two more things to love about NXT every single week, but there’s one that trumps them all.About 95% of the time, whenever the show starts, you’re getting a wrestling match.  Not a promo, not an announcement, not a contract signing, but a wrestling match.  At the end of the day, that’s exactly what people are watching to see and it’s the first thing you get.  I don’t watch Raw to see a 20 minute lecture to set up the night’s events.  Those should be set up the previous week to give the fans something to look forward to leading up to the show.  NXT starts off with a wrestling match of some sort and it puts you in the right kind of mood.  I shouldn’t be snarling at the show to get on with it already fifteen minutes in, and that happens far too often on Raw.




Impact Wrestling – February 6, 2015: How To Book A Monster Face

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 6, 2015
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Taz

As is going to be the case all year it seems, pay per view is no longer an option (save for One Night Only because who can forge that series) so for the first time ever, Lockdown is being offered as a free TV broadcast. The main event is Team Angle vs. the BDC with Angle’s team being down a man as Lashley turned down his offer to join. Let’s get to it.

The opening video starts off by focusing on the cage itself before shifting to Roode vs. Young and the Lethal Lockdown main event.

All matches are inside a cage.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. James Storm/Abyss

Storm and Abyss are defending and it’s tornado rules. Matthews says he and Taz are ringside and then they’re shown in their studio in Nashville. So Matthews is a liar. Good to know. The Hardys start fast with Poetry in Motion to both guys but they have to stop to deal with the interfering Manik. They just happen to have a pair of handcuffs to tie him to the top rope but the distraction lets the champs take over. Matt and Jeff are sent into the cage over and over with Matt getting the worse of it as we take a break.

Back with Storm hitting a top rope elbow for two on Matt as frustration is starting to set in for the champions. The Hardys quickly fight back for a double two count but Matt misses a moonsault to Storm. Matt doesn’t seem to mind as he hits a top rope Twist of Fate to drop Storm. Khoya ignores the cage as well and pulls Matt through the camera hole to the floor, which doesn’t count as a win because it wasn’t over the top. Back inside, Jeff hits a Twist on Abyss but Sanada Mists him to break up the Swanton. Storm’s Last Call retains the titles at 13:36.

Rating: C. This was more of a spot fest than a coherent match but that’s what you have to expect for a tornado style match. It’s not that easy to get much of a story going without the need for tags and all those other people interfering in the match. Still though, it had enough big spots to open a show and it’s always good to see the Revolution get a win.

Post match the Revolution puts Matt through a table outside and sets up another in the ring. They unhook Mania, though where they got the key isn’t really clear. Manik misses a top rope splash through the table and Jeff fights off most of the Revolution and climbs up, only to get crotched on the cage door and knocked off onto the steps. This is Jeff’s annual “I can’t go to England” injury angle.

MVP has a special offer for Angle tonight. After a break, MVP, King and Young are in the ring with MVP talking about how dangerous this cage really is. They’re ready to face anyone who stands in their way tonight and Young promises to make Roode bleed tonight. Bobby is offered a chance to walk away but MVP switches to Angle. He wants Kurt to come out here and talk to him face to face for a proposal.

Cue Angle, Gunner and Aries as MVP talks about how all three can walk out of here (they just walked in here though) without getting beaten up again. MVP has talked to Angle’s doctor and that knee is being held together by tape and gum. Has this doctor never heard of privacy laws??? Angle and company say they’re not walking away and the brawl is on. Joe and Low Ki come out to give the BDC an advantage and they crush Gunner’s arm in the cage door. The Clan runs away instead of taking advantage of their numbers advantage.

Video on Havok and Kong dominating the company. I still don’t buy Havok as anywhere near Kong’s level after winning like five matches.

Gunner is checked on in the back but he insists he’s starting the match tonight.

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

They start fighting on the ramp with Kong getting the better of it but being sent into the steps. The bell rings before they’re even in the cage with Kong down on the floor. Kong fights out of the spinebuster slam and sends Havok into the steps for her efforts. The fans think this is better than the Divas, which really isn’t covering a lot of ground.

They finally get inside (the girls, not the fans, in case you’re really thick in the head) and ram heads before Havok kicks her down. It just seems to fire Kong up though and she no sells a chokeslam for good measure. A chokeslam puts Havok down and sets up the Awesome Splash for the pin at 5:48.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting, even though the ending was exactly what I expected. There was no reason to think Havok could go toe to toe with Kong, especially given how short Havok’s run in TNA has been. She debuted what, four months ago, which includes the month they were off TV? Kong looked dominant though and that’s the right idea.

Video on Roode vs. Young. They have to have someone bleed in this.

From two weeks ago, Velvet told Angelina that she was fired and starts crying. Love hugs her and smiles at the news.

Lashley is told Angle is looking for him and the champ says he isn’t hard to find.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

Pin or submission only. Roode runs him over to start but eats an elbow to the jaw. The fans already want blood as Eric sends Roode back first into the cage a few times. A belly to belly sets up a chinlock on Roode before a powerslam gets two. Cue MVP with a chair but Roode ducks a big swing. The piledriver is countered into a catapult to send Young into the cage and you can see Eric blade. I really shouldn’t like seeing him in pain this much.

The spinebuster gets two for Bobby and he puts Young on top. A super Roode Bomb is countered with a cage shot and Young’s top rope elbow gets two. Young loads up another elbow onto the chair but Roode gets up and blasts him in the back. The Roode Bomb onto a chair is good for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: D. Well that happened and I still don’t care. At the end of the day, Eric Young isn’t interesting, intimidating, tough, worthy of being in a major story or anything positive that I can think of. This “12 years thrown away” story made my head hurt as these two barely associated for years and the whole “Roode owns Young and makes his life miserable” period is conveniently forgotten. Just get Young back to the comedy jobber guy he’s been for years so I don’t have to put up with this any longer.

Lashley turns Angle down again so Kurt throws him against the wall and tells him to wake up.

The announcers debate the upcoming Top 5.

Mandrews/Rockstar Spud vs. Tyrus

Tyrus easily shrugs off a double teaming to start and shoves both guys into corners. A double Tongan Death Grip has them in trouble but they come back with a double dropkick to the face and then more to the chest. An enziguri is good for one but Spud escapes a powerbomb and climbs all the way to the top of the cage. With a middle finger to Carter, Spud hits a HUGE flip dive to take Tyrus down and Ethan is stunned.

Carter gets up and spits at Mandrews, tricking him into coming out of the cage. Carter trips him up on the way out, sending Mandrews’ head into the steps to make this one on one. Spud is distracted from covering and gets the cage door slammed on his head, setting up a Tongan slam and Asiatic Spike to the neck for the pin on Spud at 5:44.

Rating: C. That big flip and Carter’s facials make this match work better, even though Mandrews really didn’t need to be in the match. I’m digging this feud way more than I was expecting to and I’m actually believing Spud could pull off the upset and beat Carter, even though that wouldn’t make a ton of sense.

Carter goes to shave Spud’s head but JB unplugs his clippers.

We look at Hardy being hurt “moments ago” and say there’s no update.

Roode talks about the fifteen years he’s known Eric and says he made Young bleed, just like he promised. They were best friends but now it’s all gone and it’s time to move on.

Earlier tonight, Robbie E. challenged Brooke to a competition to determine who lost the Amazing Race. They had a dizzy bat challenge before climbing the cage and getting back out with the winner crossing a finish line. Robbie almost won but spent too much time taking a picture, allowing Brooke to hit him low and win. This was heavily clipped instead of showing the full thing.

Team Angle vs. Beat Down Clan

Kurt Angle, Gunner, Austin Aries, ???

MVP, Kenny King, Samoa Joe, Low Ki

Lethal Lockdown, meaning two men start for two minutes and then a team (determined by a coin toss) gets to send in its second man. After two minutes the team that lost the coin toss gets to send in its second man to tie things up for two minutes. The teams continue to alternate until all participants are in when it’s first pinfall or submission wins. There are weapons provided inside the cage for the duration of the match this year, as opposed to them not coming down until the last man enters in previous editions.

King and Gunner get things going with Kenny going after the injured arm. Gunner whips him into the cage and blasts him in the back of the head with a trashcan lid to keep King in trouble. He chokes King with a nightstick but Low Ki comes in to make it 2-1. They’re already going quickly through this match.A big trashcan lid shot to Gunner’s head gives the BDC control and King holds him for kicks to the chest. The beating continues until Austin Aries comes in for the tie. Austin immediately starts speeding things up and blasts King in the ribs with the nightstick.

Gunner opts for a tennis racket (cue the Jim Cornette reference from Taz) but it’s Samoa Joe to give the BDC another advantage. More weapons shots have Team Angle in trouble as this is getting very repetitive, just like almost all Lethal Lockdown matches. Angle ties it up again and takes a hockey stick to his ribs upon entry. Kurt doesn’t seem to mind and German suplexes Joe before rolling Kenny up out of instinct. Team Angle gets beaten down with more weapons shots until MVP completes the BDC.

Pins and submissions are allowed now as all the announced wrestlers are in. Back from a break with the BDC destroying everyone in sight with quadruple teaming. Angle finally gets back up and blasts them with the trashcan lid. The comeback is short lived though as the BDC destroys them again….and here’s Lashley. This would be more exciting if TNA hadn’t shown him appearing four times now in their previews for next week.

He extends his hand to MVP but doesn’t let go, pulling the leader into a clothesline. Lashley cleans house but gets taken down into the corner and choked out by MVP. Angle counters Joe’s Muscle Buster into the ankle lock as Gunner Gun Racks King and Aries puts Ki in the Last Chancery. Lashley spears MVP down for the pin at 20:23.

Rating: C+. Bobby Lashley is exactly what Roman Reigns should be. He’s big, he’s strong, he runs through people, and he barely ever speaks because his actions do all his talking for him. I’ve had a lot of fun watching Lashley break people in half over the last few months and he’s far more entertaining than Reigns more often than not. Put Reigns on a roll like this and build it as a clash of the titans against Lesnar and I’d want to see it. Some guys just don’t need to have a really detailed character and both Lashley and Reigns fit that mold.

The rest of the match was just there and followed the format of almost every single Lethal Lockdown match in history, minus the big spot on top. You knew it wasn’t going to really crank up until the end of the match which makes the first seventeen minutes or so pretty dull stuff. I can only see a trashcan lid to the back of the head to change momentum so many times.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a decent enough show but as usual, most of these matches don’t need to be inside a cage. This is very similar to the Elimination Chamber or Hell in a Cell PPV: the calendar alone said these matches had to be in cages and there really wasn’t a reason for a lot of them to be under these rules. Look at Kong vs. Havok and see that the cage didn’t change a thing. The Hardy bump could have been done off the top rope for the same ending and Spud could have hit the same move off the top rope. Only the main event required a cage and it didn’t really change much. Decent show but not necessary.

Results

James Storm/Abyss b. Hardys – Last Call to Jeff

Awesome Kong b. Havok – Awesome Splash

Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb onto a chair

Tyrus b. Mandrews/Rockstar Spud – Asiatic Spike to Spud

Team Angle b. Beat Down Clan – Spear to MVP

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6