Looking at the Authority, the authority, and NOT Roman Reigns for a change.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-whose-authority/33709/

NXT
Date: February 4, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Corey Graves, Alex Riley

It’s the go home show for Takeover next week and the main stories are the tournament to crown a new #1 contender and making Zayn vs. Owens a title match at Owens’ demand. Tonight we have two semi-final matches with Hideo Itami vs. Finn Balor and Adrian Neville vs. Baron Corbin with the winners facing each other next week. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Emma vs. Carmella

The fans want Blue Pants but Carmella says she’s back on the clearance rack. Enzo and Cass dance in the background while Carmella talks to a less than thrilled audience. Thankfully Cass does his spelling and the fans are right back. Carmella shouts at the guys and gets kicked down as we hit a brief catfight. Emma gets choked on the ropes and Carmella mocks her dancing while checking the nails. They fight out of the corner and the Dilemma has Carmella in even more trouble. Not that it matters as she trips Emma down and puts on that leg lock crossface for the submission at 1:52.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semi-Finals: Adrian Neville vs. Baron Corbin

Baron easily takes him back into the corner to start and Adrian looks at him with a realization that he might be in major trouble. A cross body doesn’t work but some kicks to the ribs work a bit better. Neville hits a running dropkick but gets his head taken off by a right hand. Adrian rolls outside with his bell rung but Baron throws him right back inside to stomp away in the corner.

A big slam gets two on Neville but he dropkicks the knee out to send Baron into the buckle. Neville scores with a springboard dropkick to knock Baron outside but the springboard plancha is caught with ease and Baron drops him on the barricade. With Neville going back inside, Bull Dempsey comes out and posts Baron, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin at 5:27.

Rating: C. For once, I really don’t like the booking here. They easily could have had the posting lead to a countout (Corbin barely beat the count back in) instead of a pin, but at least it wasn’t clean. That being said, does ANYONE want to see Corbin vs. Dempsey again? As Riley said, what does Corbin have left to prove against him? The match was a decent power display from Corbin but I didn’t like the ending and it hurt things a good bit.

Sami Zayn says Kevin Owens played this perfectly to get what he wants. Even Regal didn’t see this coming and Regal has seen it all. All that matters now is Takeover next week and Sami is bringing everything he has. Of note here: Sami said the date of the show. That’s such a lost little thing in WWE today. They always say “in X amount of weeks” or something other than just the date. Say the date of the show and get it in the fans’ heads instead of just the name of the show so they’ll know when it’s there.

Corbin vs. Dempsey next week in a No DQ match.

Bayley vs. Becky Lynch

Bayley’s music is very, very catchy. The fans aren’t sure who they like better here but it seems to be Bayley with more support as she grabs an armbar. Becky goes after Bayley’s bad knee to take over and hits a nice snap suplex. Three straight legdrops get two but Bayley sends her outside.

Cue Sasha Banks as Bayley misses a charge into the post, allowing Lynch to kick at the knee again. A dragon screw leg whip looks to set up a leg lock but Bayley counters into a small package for two. I actually bought that as the pin. Bayley SNAPS and goes after Becky’s leg before throwing her into a half crab, sending Lynch into the ropes. Sasha throws Becky back inside and the Belly to Bayley is good for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: C-. Neither girl is all that great in the ring but they’re both capable of doing something passable enough to get through a ring. Lynch is far more attitude than in ring ability and there’s nothing wrong with that. The four way next week has a lot of potential and while Banks winning probably makes the most sense, all four are options and that’s one of the great things about NXT: it can be hard to predict sometimes, which is a very rare case in WWE.

Becky shoves Banks down as Charlotte comes out to watch.

Owens says of course it was a plan and Sami knew that’s what was happening. Now he’s going to take the NXT Title two months to the day of his debut.

We see a graphic for the next tournament match and the Solomon hacker screen comes up.

Blake and Murphy vs. Lucha Dragons for the Tag Team Titles next week.

Tyler Breeze is asked what his plans are now that he’s out of the tournament. After calling that a stupid question, he says he’s going to watch the rest of the tournament closely.

#1 Contenders Tournament Semi-Finals: Finn Balor vs. Hideo Itami

Neville is on commentary, which isn’t something you see that often in NXT. The bell rings and the fans debut a new chant: “WE’RE NOT WORTHY!” They hit the mat to start for a nice wrestling sequence and the fans give the stalemate a big ovation. Fans: “BETTER THAN RAW!” Balor’s chinlock attempt is countered into an armbar as Graves brings up being Tag Team Champions with Neville for a nice bit of continuity. Finn scores with a dropkick and we take a break.

Back with Itami getting two and putting on a quickly broken chinlock. Balor rolls through into a hard basement dropkick for two before putting on an arm trap chinlock of his own. A pair of rollups get a pair of near falls on Itami before it’s off to a chinlock. The announcers are basically interviewing Neville about what it means to be champion again and getting inside his head instead of just asking him generic questions and plugging Twitter. Hideo fights up and goes up top, only to get kicked in the head for two as we take another break.

Back again with Balor taking the skin off Hideo’s chest with chops. A running knee in the corner has Balor in some quick trouble, followed by a top rope clothesline for two. The GTS is teased again but Balor escapes and they trade kicks to the head. They slug it out with Itami getting the better of it and hitting a running basement dropkick in the corner. Back up and Balor scores with a Sling Blade but he tweaked his knee on some of those kicks. It’s good enough to dropkick Itami hard into the corner and the top rope double stomp is good enough to send Balor to Takeover at 17:58.

Rating: B. The ending was a bit abrupt but this was the kind of match both guys needed. They both held their own for a long match and it never got boring. Balor still looks better but the second that GTS finally hits, it’s going to blow the roof off the place. The best part is you can’t even say it’s stealing anything because Punk took it from Itami in the first place. Really solid match here and Neville vs. Balor is going to rock.

Balor and Itami shake hands and Neville stares Finn down.

One last Owens vs. Zayn promo ends the show. Zayn should have seen this coming but Owens surprised him. They were the best of friends but then Owens got married and had a kid and things changed. Next week, Zayn is going to see what Owens is made of.

Overall Rating: B-. The earlier stuff hurt it a bit but the main event brought the show up a good deal. More than anything else though, I want to see Takeover next week. The card is stacked and they’ve done a great job of building up the show in just a few weeks as opposed to the multiple months they usually have. Next week feels like new stuff crossed with an R-Evolution sequel, which is actually a cool feeling.

There are two things I want to bring up here here that continue to make NXT feel special. First of all is of course the crowd. That BETTER THAN RAW chant they started tonight kept up the feeling that the fans are having a great time every week at this show. How many times do you feel that fans coming to Raw are naturally excited to be there? It’s like they show up and hope for a good show but don’t expect much. When the NXT fans show up, it’s time for a great show and they know it because NXT has earned that respect.

The other thing that stood out to me tonight is the commentary. Every week I have to spend the first half hour of the show figuring out who the commentary team is this week because they always rotate and it’s hard to pin them down given how similar their voices are (save for Albert and Renee of course). For a long time that got on my nerves because I had to listen for them to say their first names, but the more I think about it, the more that’s a good thing. The announcers are just faceless entities most of the time and that means the focus stays on the action and not on them. That’s the polar opposite of WWE and it’s so nice.

Results

Carmella b. Emma – Leg lock crossface

Adrian Neville b. Baron Corbin – Red Arrow

Bayley b. Becky Lynch – Belly to Bayley

Finn Balor b. Hideo Itami – Top rope double stomp

Monday Nitro #205
Date: September 13, 1999
Location: Dean Smith Center, Chapel Hill, North Carolinas
Attendance: 5,571
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Fall Brawl and again I’m convinced WCW has hit rock bottom. The Revolution got swept last night and Sting turned heel to win the World Title, despite the fans sounding pleased with the results. We’re now a month away from Halloween Havoc and it’s time to see how Nitro goes without Bischoff running things behind the scenes. Let’s get to it.

Things are already looking up on this show as we look back at last week with Hart challenging Hogan and all the Hogan/Sting/Luger shenanigans.

Nitro Girls.

Quick recap of last night. That’s the best way to do it if you absolutely must.

Recap of Benoit and Malenko having a good match for a World Title shot tonight until Sid interfered to give us a good old fashioned bait and switch.

Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko

Rematch with the same stipulations as last week with Saturn and Douglas at ringside. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a hammerlock. Benoit scores with an enziguri but can’t hook a dragon suplex. Instead Dean nails him with an elbow tot he jaw but they both fall out to the floor. Mostly even match so far. Saturn and Douglas don’t let it turn into a brawl as Tony is talking about Sting, which actually ties into this match. You can tell Bischoff isn’t in his ear this week.

Dean takes over with a short arm scissors back inside but Benoit powers out and drops Dean for two. Malenko avoids a dropkick and goes for the leg but Benoit is right next to the ropes. Benoit misses a charge in the corner but catches Dean taking way too long to get up top, setting up a top rope superplex to put both guys down.

A double clothesline gives us a double cover before we hit a very crisp pinfall reversal sequence. Benoit starts rolling Germans but Dean counters into a rollup for two. That’s enough for Benoit as he hooks a belly to back and slits the throat, only to get caught on top for another superplex, but Benoit hooks Dean’s leg on the way down and ties the legs together into a small package for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B+. That might be high but this is the best match WCW has had probably in months. It wasn’t even ten minutes long but they packed stuff into this match with both guys getting to look great. There’s a great story in here with Benoit trying to use suplexes and throws while Dean wanted to break Benoit down by going for body parts but kept getting in trouble when he went out of his comfort zone, namely whenever he went to the top. At the end of the day, there is no substitute for a really good wrestling match and that’s exactly what you got here.

All four members of the team gets in to hug post match.

Gene is in the ring and brings back Ric Flair as he returns in the Carolinas again. They’re already about 10,000x better than what we got last night. I wonder how much of a difference the lack of Bischoff makes as there’s a good chance he booked the PPV before leaving and this is the first real show without him.

Ric is back in face mode and sucks up to the crowd, who of course love him like free beer in a frat house. Flair alludes to being free (of Bischoff I’d assume) before talk turns to Sting and Luger. He doesn’t approve of how Sting won the title. I’ll let you pause to laugh at that for a minute. This brings the two of them out to say it’s their time now, meaning it’s time for Flair to go because they’ve been held back long enough. Somehow they’re onto something as they’ve combined for eleven World Titles and Flair has I think fourteen at this point?

Ric says they have to to earn their spots, which you would think they did years ago but Flair has always had some issues with reality. Luger and Sting deck Flair and put him in their respective submissions, drawing out Hart and Hogan for the save. Hogan sets up the tag match for later, which he’s doing for Flair. You know, for all those great moments they’ve had together earlier this year.

After a break, Luger and Sting laugh because Luger doesn’t have medical clearance or any gear. Sting not mentioning facing Benoit later scares me.

Berlyn’s entourage arrives.

DJ Ran throws it to Riki Rachman to show us last week’s winner in the Nitro Girls competition and introduce this week’s finalists. None of them are Stacy Keibler so we’ll move on.

JJ Dillon is on the phone with a doctor in Florida and finds out that Luger has been cleared for three weeks. My what convenient timing for him to finally look into that.

Stills of Benoit vs. Sid from last night. The faster we move on from this the better a lot of people will be.

Erik Watts vs. Disco Inferno

Someone explain to me why WCW keeps Watts on the payroll. They must owe Bill a favor of some kind. Erik “Let me show you my dropkick” Watts hammers away to start but gets armdragged and hiptossed, setting up dance time. He stomps Watts down in the corner but misses a charge, allowing Watts to powerslam him into the corner. Think the Oklahoma Stampede minus the followup powerslam.

Watts stays on the ribs but Disco counters a Russian legsweep into one of his own, even though it’s pretty much the same move either way. The middle rope elbow misses though and DEAR GOODNESS TURN DOWN THE CROWD NOISE! The fans suddenly go from silent to losing their minds in the span of half a second as we go split screen to show Sid. Disco hits the Last Dance for the pin a second later.

Rating: D-. That powerslam wasn’t bad but the audio going nuts was the most entertaining part of the match. Disco really deserves something better than this. Even a low level tag team or something like that would be nice for him. Instead he’s stuck in these lame matches and about to get powerbombed in half by Sid.

Of course that’s exactly what happens, plus Sid rambling on about not putting up with trash like this, or with Goldberg for that matter. Charles Robinson was holding the signs as Sid is now at 82-0 and got to wear the US Title. Somehow, it kind of suits him.

Silver King vs. Norman Smiley

Norman shoves him around to start but takes a quick enziguri (a popular move tonight) and a quick flip splash. King sends Norman outside and teases a dive which looks so horrible that Smiley doesn’t even bother to move. Back in and Smiley busts out the Big Wiggle but has to hit a wheelbarrow slam, followed by the spinning slam. Not that any of it matters though as Sid comes in for the no contest.

Chokeslams and double pins make Sid 84-0.

We recap the horrid Berlyn vs. Duggan match from Sunday.

Steve Regal/Dave Taylor vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham

Regal runs over Kendall with ease to start and takes him to the mat for a well needed wrestling lesson. A front facelock has Kendall in trouble and Regal goes behind him to throw Kendall around a bit. Off to Barry and the gut of doom before Taylor comes in for a European uppercut. The Windhams take Taylor into the corner for a double teaming with the Windhams moving at top speed. Well top speed for them at least, which is slow motion for most other teams.

Taylor finally rolls away, somehow countering the Windham’s lightning quick offense to make the tag to Regal. Steve comes in with those pretty lame left hands of his and a Regal Cutter to Barry as everything breaks down. Taylor hooks Barry in a leg lock but Kendall makes the quick save. The referee goes after Taylor, allowing Hennig to hit Regal with the cowbell to give Barry the pin.

Rating: D. The Windhams need to get away from my screen as soon as possible. They’re not interesting, they’re not good in the ring, they’re not really in shape and they’re not losing like they should be. The Brits are a decent heel team and could actually have a nice match if given the chance, but here they are jobbing to the Windhams, who still aren’t over after losing the titles a day earlier.

Back from a break with Jerry Flynn in the ring but Goldberg is shown coming to the ring with security while wearing street clothes. Goldberg comes down to the ring and passes Prince Iaukea, who seems to be Flynn’s scheduled opponent. THANK YOU BILL! Goldberg isn’t pleased with Sid’s comments earlier and would like to challenge him to a match. That’s the cleaned up version of course. We cut to Sid in the back where again his audio is so low that I can’t hear a thing he says. He picks up a bag and leaves as Goldberg is still in the ring. Flynn complains and I think you can guess what happens.

Stills of the Tag Team Title match last night.

Harlem Heat vs. First Family

So we had Malenko and Douglas lose last night for a non-title match? The countdown is on for those guys. Ray and Morrus stall for a few moments to start before both guys shove each other around. Knobbs comes in for a double team attempt but Booker kicks him in the face to send us to a commercial. Back with all four fighting outside until it’s Morrus slamming Ray for two inside.

The Family hits back to back splashes in the corner but try a double clothesline and get run over for their efforts. At least Stevie is at the point where he can run at people and stick his arms out. I mean WCW praises the Clowns for doing it so they should praise Stevie too right? Booker comes in to fire some kicks at Knobbs but the Rednecks come back out to break up the missile dropkick for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad and they’re getting the idea of making the hot tag to someone who can actually use some speed. That being said, did Douglas and Malenko really just lose to the First Family to set up a loss to Harlem Heat the next night to continue the boring rivalry with the Rednecks? That’s what we really just did? The fact that it’s not the Clowns getting this feud is somehow the best news to come out of this.

Insane Clown Posse vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

Oh this is going to hurt. Vampiro is hurting as well after a bunch of injuries to his head and eye after the match last night. Lodi is wearing an East Carolina University football jersey. Does he want a job in WWF (Vince went to school there if that made no sense)? A fan runs into the ring before the match but it turns out to be Tony Mamaluke, who has been following Lenny and Lodi recently. Heenan: “Take him out back and hang him.” When did Brain get so harsh?

J. does some bad looking hiptosses so Lenny starts prancing a bit. A gorilla press sends Lenny running on his knees to Lodi. The camera goes to Vampiro at ringside and thankfully he says there’s something more important going on and points to the ring. Shaggy hammers on Lodi and Stuns Lane across the top rope. A double suplex sends 2 Dope into the ropes as the fans are cheering for the Clowns. The brothers hit a knee lift into a legdrop for two on Shaggy but we get heel (?) miscommunication to allow the tag to J.

Tony and Heenan keep sucking up to the Clowns and say they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. My goodness ANYTHING but that. We get the spot where Lenny and Lodi are knocked into sexual positions before they plant Shaggy with a double DDT for two. The brothers load up a suplex/cross body combination but Lodi hits Lenny by mistake, allowing Shaggy to roll Lenny up for the pin on the Cruiserweight Champion.

Rating: F. A Clown just pinned a champion in what was supposed to set up Shaggy winning the title. Thankfully the Clowns wouldn’t wrestle again in WCW until August so this didn’t go anywhere, but my goodness. They’re treated like good guys, the announcers freak out over hip tosses, and they’re pinning a champion. Just….come on WCW. Even you should be better than this.

The Clowns want Kidman. That recruiting thing isn’t going to be mentioned again is it?

WCW World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Sting

Before the match, Benoit talks about Sid tapping out last night and the whole world saw it, but sometimes the calls don’t go your way. Instead of violins playing Sting to the ring, dogs are barking and Rick Steiner is here. Oh geez here we go. Rick says this isn’t Benoit’s night and for absolutely no adequately explained reason, this is happening instead of Benoit’s World Title shot.

TV Title: Chris Benoit vs. Rick Steiner

Steiner hammers away to start and knees Chris in the ribs. He plants Benoit with a powerslam as this is one sided so far. More beating in the corner ensues until Rick does that face grab of his. Steiner shoves the referee before they head outside with Benoit going into the barricade. Total and complete squash so far.

A belly to belly sets up more face ripping, followed by one of the most painful looking release German suplexes I’ve ever seen. Benoit landed right on the back of his head in a huge crash that made me cringe. It’s only good for two though so Steiner smacks the referee in the face, allowing Benoit to grab a bad looking rollup for the fast count and the pin for the title. Steiner clearly kicked out at about two and a half.

Rating: D-. This right here is the moment where it was clear WCW did not care about Chris Benoit. Yes he won the title but he had a total of some right hands at the beginning and a rollup with a fast count due to something Steiner did. This was all about Steiner and Benoit got squashed the entire time after having a great match earlier tonight because in WCW’s eyes, Steiner is more important than Benoit by definition. On top of that, there’s the whole missing World Title shot. Why stick around if you’re Benoit?

Post match, Steiner destroys Benoit until Malenko makes the save. Just in case you needed any more proof that Benoit is just a guy and might as well have been Prince Iaukea in WCW’s eyes.

Video on the Revolution. You know, those four guys that Steiner and Sid regularly beat up.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Perry Saturn

The Revolution and Filthy Animals are at ringside with Kidman looking to be in pajamas. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading attempts at holds until it’s Eddie grabbing a headlock. Saturn shoves him off and hits a big T-Bone before putting on a headlock of his own. Somehow both guys have already had as much or more offense than Benoit in the previous match.

Back up and Guerrero jumps on Saturn’s back for a sleeper as Tony takes way too long to get to a commercial. We come back with Saturn hitting a hard belly to back suplex but it seems to just fire Eddie up. Things speed WAY up with a sweet exchange of sleeper attempts and suplexes, all of which do little more than make me even angrier at Rick Steiner and Sid for getting pushed so hard.

Eddie gets T-Boned off the top but is still able to hot shot Saturn in the corner. The third T-Bone sends Eddie flying again and makes me think I’m watching a Taz match. The Death Valley Driver is countered though and Eddie plants him with a brainbuster. Eddie has to bail out of the Frog Splash but escapes another DVD attempt, setting up a solid pinfall reversal sequence. Saturn sits down on a headscissors attempt and gets a surprise pin.

Rating: B. Another awesome match here between two guys who can just get in a ring and go. Therefore, neither guy is going to get anywhere around here. This show has had some really good wrestling but also been some of the most frustrating stuff I’ve ever seen. Some combination of these guys could be tearing it up with Harlem Heat for the Tag Team Titles but we’re getting the Windhams and threats of the Clowns because WCW is that stupid.

The groups stare each other down and war is imminent. Why have them fight big names when you can just have them fight each other right?

Berlyn vs. Buff Bagwell

So he’ll skip the PPV (while still appearing to likely get a payday) but he’ll fight on TV where more people are watching? Again, WCW is stupid. The interpreter is back and goes to the commentary booth to make this even more painful. She starts speaking German and the voice is already annoying. Bagwell stalls to start as Tony actually calls this an anticipated match.

A nice dropkick puts Bagwell down and the German continues. Some clotheslines look to set up the Blockbuster but Buff gets crotched on top. The bodyguard gets yelled at as this match is already dragging. Berlyn gets two off a belly to back suplex and we hit the chinlock. The comeback sets up a top rope clothesline and some basic offense as Berlyn is knocked down in the corner. A hot shot sets up a punch from the bodyguard, giving Berlyn the three count.

Rating: D-. Gah this was dull and it barely broke five minutes. It was a short step better than the Duggan match but it’s clear that Berlyn isn’t going anywhere. The German chick got annoying the second she started talking and it didn’t make the match any better. On top of that, it’s clear that they’re going for the Shawn/Diesel formula with the bodyguard becoming the star, but Berlyn is as far from Shawn Michaels as I am from being Miss Nebraska 1973.

We get a long video on Sting posing the theory that Sting’s entire run as the crow was just there to set up his heel turn last night. It’s a cool video but this sounds like some nonsense about the moon landing being staged in a big studio somewhere. It doesn’t help that the video contains dialogue like this: “Perhaps Sting was driving the Hummer that attacked Kevin Nash. He was seen getting out of a Hummer a week later, remember?” They even bring up NWO Sting being part of Sting’s grand plan.

Sting/Lex Luger vs. Bret Hart/Hulk Hogan

Luger is in street clothes and it’s a brawl to start. Hogan and Sting get inside with Hulk destroying the champ with all the right hands he can throw. Bret comes in for right hands of his own as Luger finally gets on the apron. The champ comes back with a clothesline and the fans loudly cheer for him. If you were just watching the match with no commentary or any idea what happened last night, you would have almost no reason to believe Sting was a heel.

It’s off to Hogan vs. Luger with Hulk firing off even more right hands but eating the running forearm to the head. Sting comes in with a top rope splash for two because heels use high flying moves. Back to Luger for more choking as we’re still waiting on wrestling to start. Hogan blocks a ram into the buckle but Sting comes back in for a suplex. Lex starts going after the knee as this match needs to just die already.

The knee goes nowhere as Hogan clotheslines both guys down, setting up the lukewarm tag to Bret. A quick Russian suplex gets two on the champ and the middle rope elbow gets the same. Everything breaks down as Diamond Dallas Page comes out for no apparent reason, carrying a ball bat. Hogan knocks it away as Bret has Sting in the Sharpshooter but Luger picks it up and nails Bret in the face, giving Sting the pin.

Rating: F. When I’m miserable over the fact that there are only two minutes left in a match, there’s something very wrong. This was terribly boring with no one putting it into even second gear. It doesn’t help that the story makes no sense. All of a sudden Sting is EVIL (despite not really doing anything evil tonight), Bret and Hogan are Flair fans and Page is now hanging out with Luger and Sting. Terrible match here and I have no interest in seeing this go forward.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a really hard one to grade. The Revolution matches (save for Benoit vs. Steiner but that was the booking’s fault) were really good and some of the better TV matches WCW has put on in a very long time. Unfortunately though there’s a HUGE gap between those and the main event matches, which ranged from horrible to the preferred method of torture in 14 countries.

This show was a perfect illustration of how nothing is going to change in WCW. The young guys can go out there and have great matches that actually get the fans reacting, but no one is going to break through into the main event scene. Those guys exist to fight each other and warm the crowd up so the real stars can have their boring matches with whatever nonsense stories they’re running. It’s like banging your head against a wall and wondering why the door doesn’t move. As usual, the wrestling can be good in spots but the booking will make you pull your hair out.

Thunder was canceled this week due to a hurricane and replaced by a recap show so I won’t be putting it up. Sorry to the four people that actually read those recaps.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 2, 2015
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield

Tonight is a major night as HHH has promised to shake the company to its core and give us an end to the controversy at the Royal Rumble. What that controversy is isn’t really clear but hopefully he’ll give us an explanation tonight. Other than that we’re getting closer to Fast Lane and therefore closer to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of HHH on Smackdown, promising tonight’s major announcement.

Opening sequence.

Here are Stephanie and HHH for the announcement as a lot of the midcard watches in the back. First up, they talk about the Super Bowl and Stephanie emphasizes that the Patriots won because it was best for business. I thought they won because they scored more points. HHH hopes they can survive the new “Cancel the NFL Movement” that struck after the end of the game last night.

HHH shows us the controversy to end the Rumble, which is Rock coming in to attack Big Show and Kane before Rusev was officially eliminated. After comparing the ending to the end of the Super Bowl (I assume when the fight started before the last kneel down), HHH says Rock coming in wasn’t ok. Rock is a huge Hollywood star but that doesn’t mean he can come back in just because he’s a name. Sting recently did the same thing, and it stops at Fast Lane.

That’s why HHH has called Sting out to come to the ring at Fast Lane to solve their problems. You can see that on the WWE Network for just $9.99, or free for new subscribers in February. That brings them back to the original problem: what would have happened if Rock hadn’t come out? Maybe Roman Reigns wouldn’t have won the Rumble, meaning his victory is tainted. They haven’t actually said Rusev’s name in this whole thing. Reigns comes out and says no one is taking away his win. Stephanie says she knows what it’s like to have a family legacy to live up to and says it shouldn’t stop him from going to Wrestlemania.

Cue Daniel Bryan in a new shirt to really wake the crowd up. He says the real controversy is him being stripped of the title and never getting a rematch. If the title match is open at Wrestlemania, he wants to officially throw his name in the hat. HHH sees the logic in that and could see Bryan getting the shot at Wrestlemania. This brings out a smiling Rollins and the Stooges as we take a break due to what seemed like microphone issues.

Back with Rollins asking Bryan if he really wants to face Lesnar for the title at Wrestlemania, because Lesnar would eat him alive. If anyone deserves the shot at Lesnar one on one, it’s Rollins because he broke Brock’s ribs. Reigns cuts him off with the threat of a punch to the face but HHH gets to the point: tonight it’s Bryan vs. Rollins and the winner gets to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the shot at Wrestlemania. Reigns eventually accepts the deal but is told to stay in the ring.

Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

This is joined in progress after a break because WWE has no idea what fans want to see. Reigns tries to fight out of a bearhug but gets headbutted out to the floor. Back in and Roman hits a middle rope clothesline to put Show down. He sends Show into the post but the Stooges break up a Superman Punch attempt, allowing Show to hit a bad spear for two. Reigns fights out of a chokeslam attempt and hits the Superman Punch, only to have Reigns hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase, allowing Big Show to chokeslam Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in WWE at 2:40 shown.

HHH and Stephanie are in the back and laugh about manipulating everyone into getting what they wanted. Next up: manipulate Austin on the podcast. So it’s going to be kayfabe. Freaking joy.

Here’s Curtis Axel for a chat. Axel: “Don’t turn the channel because I’ve got something to say!” JBL: “I was thinking about changing the channel.” He says he should be going to Wrestlemania because he got sucker punched before he could ever get in. Cue Dean Ambrose and it’s time for a fight. He easily throws Axel over the top and says no he’s eliminated.

Ambrose has some demands of his own. He trudged through the ice and snow to WWE Headquarters and saw a wall of former champions. He takes a nice mugshot so maybe he would look great on that wall. Recently he pinned Bad News Barrett so he’s in line for an Intercontinental Title shot because his face would look good on that wall. Get ready for the road to Fast Lane. Axel jumps him again and winds up taking Dirty Deeds.

Video on Ernie Ladd for Black History Month.

Ascension vs. Goldust/Stardust

Viktor runs over Stardust to start but Goldust sneaks in for some cheap shots before dragging his brother to the ropes for a tag. Off to Konnor who gets kicked in the side of the head but a quick Fall of Man ends Goldust at 1:48. Stardust disappeared after the first thirty seconds.

Stardust walks out on Goldust after the match.

After a break Goldust comes up to Stardust in the back and calls him Cody to make Stardust snap. He says never call him that again, hisses, and walks off.

Here’s Cena with something to say. The match with Rusev at Fast Lane is officially a US Title match. You can see the DQ finish from here. First up though is the Austin Podcast tonight where Austin can ask questions no one wants to ask, but HHH might just step around them all again. HHH has taken over NXT and rebranded it into a group of guys who are ready to come in here and take over. His vision is a WWE without John Cena, but HHH has to answer to sponsors and TV companies and that’s not the best idea.

The Authority tried to make him give up but that’s never going to happen. We see Sting coming out to help Cena beat the Authority two weeks back, meaning welcome back Rowan, Ziggler and Ryback. Well back to Raw that is as they’ve been back for about a week and a half already. Cena knows Rusev can be beaten but here’s Stephanie to cut them off. Ziggler cuts her off but she says those three haven’t fought any of their own battles. Tonight it’s Ziggler vs. Wyatt, Rowan vs. Rusev and Ryback vs. Harper.

Ryback vs. Luke Harper

They trade suplexes to start with Ryback hitting a nice delayed version. The middle rope splash gets one on Harper but Luke big boots him out to the floor to take over. Another boot to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock on Ryback. He fights back up and hits a Thesz Press, only to walk into the swinging Bossman Slam for two. The Meat Hook is countered with a third kick to the face for two more and Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Shell Shock is good for the pin on Harper at 6:00.

Rating: C. The match was a decent power showdown but my goodness this is their big idea? Having Harper get pinned here completely clean? I’m so glad he’s now being used to get someone over again because we’re somehow still dealing with fallout from Survivor Series. This show is getting harder and harder to sit through.

Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro

This is apparently over a double date Natalya set up for her and Kidd with Jimmy and Naomi. Well of course it is. Cesaro jumps him to start but Jimmy comes back with some chops to tak over. Jimmy whips him to the floor and a Jey distraction sets up a flying Uso to put Cesaro down.

Back in and we hit the chinlock on Jimmy, followed by the Cesaro Swing. A double stomp and tiger bomb get two on Jimmy but he comes back with some clotheslines. The superkick is countered and Jimmy is sent outside, but Kidd can’t get in any cheap shots. Back in and Jimmy superkicks him out of the air, setting up the Umaga attack. Kidd offers a distraction though and Cesaro uppercuts Jimmy out of the air for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: D. This show has completely drained me. We’re only halfway through the show and I already don’t care about anything else they’re going to air tonight. This was your standard way of setting up the Tag Team Title match because WWE only knows a few ways to set matches up nowadays and they used up their one interesting idea with Naomi, meaning it’s time for another year of the same rehashed ideas.

Kidd gets in a cheap shot on Jey after the match.

WWE Network plugs.

Mizdow is getting Miz food at catering when a guy comes up to ask for an autograph. Miz shrugs him off but the guy was asking Mizdow. Damien is happy to sign but Miz rips up the picture and erupts on Mizdow for getting too big of a head after all those months of Mizdow dressing up in costumes and losing all the time. Miz fires him but gives Mizdow a new job as personal assistant. Mizdow goes along with it but looks defeated.

Rowan comes in and thanks Cena for making him his own man. Tonight he’ll thank him by hurting Rusev.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray runs him over with a forearm to start and gets in a cheap shot as the referee tries to break it up. A Fameasser attempt sends Bray running to the floor and things slow down. Back in and Ziggler grabs the leg but eats a big uppercut for his efforts. The backsplash gets two and we hit the nerve hold. They’re just doing moves to each other at this point, likely due to the fact that there’s no reason for these two to be fighting. Some dropkicks have Bray in trouble but he snaps Ziggler ribs over the middle rope and suplexes him out to the floor.

We come back from a break with Bray putting on a chinlock to keep killing time. Ziggler fights up and sends Bray shoulder first into the post, only to dive into a right hand. The second backsplash misses though and Ziggler hits a running clothesline, followed by a neckbreaker to put Bray down. Bray takes his head off with a clothesline but Ziggler nails the running DDT for two more. Things speed up and Ziggler hits something like a running superkick to the ribs (it certainly wasn’t the jaw) for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser but Bray pops up and grabs Sister Abigail for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but they picked up after the break. Bray winning is the right move at this point, but it really didn’t need to be at Ziggler’s expense. As usual, they have no idea how to get through storylines without having guys they want to get over losing at some point. I’m all for Wyatt getting a stronger push though.

Rollins comes in to see the Authority and they tell him they’re giving him this match because they have faith in him. They bring up Orton for the sake of plot convenience and Seth promises to go to Fast Lane.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

The Bellas are on commentary so Paige goes over to scream at them. Back in and Fox gets two off a northern lights suplex before putting on a chinlock as the Bellas speak in hashtags. Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Paige small packages her for the pin at 2:44.

Brie covers Paige with tanning spray post match.

Miz is on Sirens this week.

Sin Cara vs. Miz

Mizdow stands at ringside instead of imitating Miz, drawing an even louder chant than usual. Miz’s early chinlock doesn’t get him anywhere as Cara hits some spring cross bodies. Cara goes up and Mizdow is worried, but Miz avoids the Swanton. Damien can’t help himself and teases going to the top, only to be yelled back to ringside. Back in and Miz gets two off a boot to the head and puts on a chinlock. Just have Mizdow cost him the match already. Cara fights up but gets put right back down, drawing Mizdow up to the apron. Miz yells at him but gets rolled up for the pin at 5:40.

Rating: D. This was all storyline advancement and it could have been anyone in Sin Cara’s role. The show has already crippled my soul and I have no real interest in a lot of what’s going on here, but that’s almost the new norm around here. Miz and Mizdow splitting is a good thing, even though Miz has been doing a face’s work for months now.

Miz yells at Mizdow but Bray cuts them off. He says he’s been watching someone for a long time now and he’s the new face of fear. Bray can’t wait to see someone again. Find him. It shouldn’t be hard to do as it’s almost Wrestlemania season.

Erick Rowan vs. Rusev

Non-title. Rusev jumps Rowan before he gets in the ring and quickly posts him. He rips at Rowan’s face and bends him around the ropes and slapping on the Accolade. No match.

Lana invites us to a movie premiere since it’s Oscar season. This movie is reality instead of the usual happy fairytale ending that will show what happens to anyone who opposes Rusev. We get a Rusev highlight package of people being destroyed by the Russian before posing ensues. The Russian flag doesn’t come down properly and the Russians are livid. Thankfully the announcers say Cena had something to do with this, which is a nice save in case it’s not true.

Daniel Bryan comes into Reigns’ locker room and says he saw what Rollins did out there. He knows Roman wants revenge, but it’s not coming at Fast Lane. Reigns perceives this as a threat and tells Bryan to get out. Reigns felt a lot more heelish here.

Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan

Winner gets Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rollins runs him over with a shoulder to start but Daniel starts going after the arm. An armbar attempt sends Rollins bailing to the ropes before he throws Bryan outside. The Stooges get in some cheap shots and Seth dives on Bryan as we take a break. Back with Rollins in control and Big Show looking on from ringside.

Bryan fights back with right hands but gets caught in a quick downward spiral into the buckle. Daniel backflips over him out of the corner and hits the running clothesline before firing off the kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana is countered into a sunset flip for two for Rollins and both guys fight back to their feet. The Stooges try to interfere but Bryan throws Rollins out onto them and hits a big Flying Goat to take them all out.

Back in and Seth crotches him on the top to break up the flying headbutt but Bryan hooks a belly to back superplex for two. The running knee is countered into the Buckle Bomb and the low superkick gets two more. Rollins takes his time going after Bryan though and gets caught in the YES Lock but gets his feet on the bottom rope. Cue Reigns to spear Big Show. Mercury gets speared as well but Noble comes in with the briefcase, allowing Reigns to Superman Punch Rollins. The running knee sends Bryan to Fast Lane at 17:11.

Rating: B. Well that helped a lot. It doesn’t save this show or really come close to it, but the booking made sense and Bryan gets a big win. Now I give him almost no hope of winning the match against Reigns or getting into the main event of Wrestlemania, but it’s nice to see something like this happen to give the fans something to cheer for.

HHH says he’ll address this on the Podcast.

Back in the arena, Bryan thanks the fans for putting him here and promises to win the match at Fast Lane for them.

Overall Rating: D+. This show got a lot better near the end but that first hour was as bad of a stretch as I can remember in years. Reigns losing might seem like some big plan, but my goodness they’re overthinking these things. There was no real need to address this made up controversy, especially when Rusev wasn’t even a factor in the plans. Bryan is being shoehorned in to appease some fans and I’d give him about as much of a chance at main eventing Wrestlemania as I have.

The rest of the show was WAY too Authority heavy as this felt like another show from back in the pre-Survivor Series days. For some reason the Authority is still going after those three guys when the story has been dead (or at least should have been dead) for months now. I’m not sure what we’re getting at Wrestlemania and they’re making it a pretty boring way of finding out.

Results

Big Show b. Roman Reigns – Chokeslam

Ascension b. Goldust/Stardust – Fall of Man to Goldust

Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock

Cesaro b. Jimmy Uso – European uppercut
Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail

Paige b. Alicia Fox – Small package

Sin Cara b. Miz – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Running knee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Raw spoilers incoming.The controversy wound up being Rock interfering in the Rumble, meaning Rusev got screwed.  The solution?  Bryan vs. Rollins tonight with the winner going to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the Mania title shot.  Rusev wasn’t mentioned in the promo.

We’re not done though.  REigns was in the ring for the discussion and then had to fight Big Show.  Big Show PINNED REIGNS, for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in less than three minutes.  I know I said it wasn’t fair at the Rumble, but commence saying this company is making this nonsense up as they go.

We’ve finally arrived at one of the biggest shows of the year as we’re almost to the Road to Wrestlemania. While it seems like there are multiple ways to get to the biggest show of the year, it seems like this is destined to end with Reigns vs. Lesnar as the match that not many people want to see. Let’s get to it.

Cesaro and Tyson Kidd beat the New Day in a good pre-show match. It seems like New Day is already a lost cause and I can’t say I’m shocked. There isn’t much to the team other than a lot of sweating, but they’re fine as the face version of 3MB. Kidd and Cesaro have potential but I don’t see them being anything more than the challengers of the month.

Ascension beat the New Age Outlaws in the opener and it was exactly what it was supposed to be. I still like Ascension and it’s clear where they’re going with the team, but they went a long way around to get there. I’m also not sure what other veteran teams they can beat as the Dudleys don’t seem to be a possibility and the APA is retired. I’m sure it ends with Usos vs. Ascension for the belts, maybe at Wrestlemania, and the match could be good if they go with an old 80s formula. That being said, I’m not sure how much a win over the Outlaws is supposed to impress me in 2015. They were past their prime in 2000 and they’re still kicking around?

Heyman offered the Authority the use of Lesnar to take out Sting. That’s an odd choice as I don’t want to see Sting ground into dust from Brock’s stare, let alone what might happen if they had contact.

The Usos retained the Tag Team Titles over Miz/Mizdow in a match that no one wanted to see again. This feud died months ago, right around the time Naomi was forgotten. Why the writers will never understand that stories can save dull wrestling is beyond me but it’s a lesson that would save us a lot of headaches.

The Bellas beat Paige/Natalya with a forearm in the fourth straight tag match of the night. This looked like filler, was wrestled like filler, and ended like filler. In other words, it was filler because they’ve blown through Natalya vs. Nikki about five times already.

The old school Rumble promos don’t make me think anyone but Reigns has a chance.

Now we get to the real treat of the night as Brock Lesnar defended the World Title against John Cena and Seth Rollins. If there’s one thing WWE can get right, it’s carnage. That’s exactly what we got here as these three guys just beat the tar out of each other for over twenty minutes and it became who could possibly survive.

Cena and Lesnar both got to throw around the Stooges in a power off, leaving Rollins to steal the show with his high spots. The biggest of said spots was a flying elbow from the top rope to drive Lesnar through the announcers’ table. The idea here was that Lesnar broke a rib and was out of the match for a few minutes, which he sold like he was dead instead of just injured. However, this caused the lone problem of the match, which happens all the time in WWE main events.

With Lesnar down, Cena and Rollins traded finisher attempt and the fans weren’t all that impressed. Yeah they popped some, but there was no question about the kickouts. That’s become a trope in WWE main events and it’s something they need to change. Have them hit secondary moves here or something, but stop this whole “I hit a finisher and then you hit a finisher” sequence. It was stupid when Orton and Cena did it and it worked about as well this time. Even an STF attempt would work better than the AA, but that’s the formula they keep sticking with for some reason.

Before we get to the ending, I have to give Rollins some praise. He’s gone from the guy I thought would be the white Kofi Kingston to a guy who looks like he belongs in the World Title scene and stood toe to toe with John Cena and Brock Lesnar in a war. This guy is going to be a star someday and his face turn is going to blow the roof off the place. Just imagine the pop when he curb stomps some big time heel.

Anyway, Lesnar came back in and went into Beast Mode for the F5 and pin on Rollins. There is some serious money to be made with Lesnar as a face (assuming he isn’t back in MMA right after Wrestlemania) and it would be the easiest turn in years. He really wouldn’t have to change anything as he would just start fighting heels in the same way he is now, probably without Heyman to guide him, giving him an out to lose via DQ etc. It’s not a necessary turn, but he’s going to be the face at Wrestlemania anyway, so why fight it at this point?

That brings us to who he’ll be the heel against at Wrestlemania….and of course it’s Roman Reigns. I’ve spent far too much time talking about how Reigns isn’t ready and the 8000 stories they could go through to make things better (and those ways do exist. This story isn’t guaranteed to be the disaster people are sure it’s going to be) so instead we’ll look at the Rumble piece by piece.

First up we’ll look at the returns. This wasn’t the best part of the match as once you get past Bubba Ray’s good return, which didn’t lead anywhere as he wasn’t even out there five minutes, the returns took a big hit. I mean, the Boogeyman, Zack Ryder and Diamond Dallas Page? They were out there about four minutes in total and the last one was gone about halfway through the match. This can be a major strong point for the match and it fell totally flat here.

Before we get to the really bad things, let’s touch on the good stuff. Bray Wyatt had a REALLY strong stretch in there and looked like the monster he used to be. There’s still a lot of potential for him and I’m interested in where he’s going from here, even if it’s fighting Undertaker (though that depends on what you do with Undertaker going forward. I’m sure I’ll get to that at some point). Wyatt was the iron man at just under 47 minutes and made it to the final batch.

That gets us to the end of the really good/memorable parts (even Kofi’s save wasn’t anything special this year, though it was a matter of time until we got to the Rosebuds saving someone) so now we’ll get on to the really big flaws. We’ll start with what ended Wyatt’s, as well as far many others’, night: Big Show and Kane. This is where the Rumble went from being boring to just flat out bad.

At the end of the day, the Rumble set up a ton of potential with guys like Reigns, Rusev, Wyatt, Ziggler, Ambrose and Cesaro around near the end. That opened the door for a really hot ending in the same vein as Reigns vs. Rusev in the Money in the Bank qualifying battle royal back in July. What we got instead was the wrath of the Big Balds as Kane and Big Show threw out Ziggler, Wyatt and Ambrose in short order before getting in a quick fight with each other, allowing Reigns to dump them out at the same time.

So yeah, at the end of the day, it came down to Reigns vs. Big Show to end the Rumble, despite it being the least interesting story in years. I’ve yet to hear from anyone who actually cares about these two fighting but it closed the Royal Rumble to send Reigns to the biggest show (hardy har har) of the year. Why would we want to see these young and interesting guys when we can see Big Show being the same character he’s been since 1999? I mean, it worked for the New Age Outlaws in the opener so it can work here in the main event. It’s like bookends!

If that wasn’t enough though, they had Kane and Big Show go after Reigns again, only to have the Rock make a return for the save. The fans weren’t pleased even with one of the biggest stars ever out there, and can you really blame them? It didn’t help that they seemed to mistime things as Rusev came back in after not being eliminated and was tossed with ease in a final screw you to the fans with one more blast of false hope.

That brings us to the real problem of this match: the lack of doubt. Daniel Bryan came in at #10, eliminated Tyson Kidd, and was out in ten minutes, being eliminated between Adam Rose and Fandango. He was little more than a throwaway entrant as it seems WWE isn’t interested in doing anything with him this year. Here’s the thing: I can accept that. It may not be the most popular move, but Bryan is fresh off major neck surgery and has been back literally less than three weeks. I can understand WWE being hesitant to put the title on someone 33 years old and coming off a major injury, especially after they nailed his win last year.

What I can’t understand though is the idea to put him out that early. At the end of the day, this Rumble was over the second Bryan’s feet hit the floor. That elimination sealed every big of doubt away forever as it was just a matter of time until Reigns showed up, cleaned house (by which I mean three guys. Quite the way to showcase your new star WWE) and won the match. It was right out of 1993 where Undertaker was thrown out and there was zero doubt that it was going to Yokozuna (who just happens to be related to Reigns).

All the drama was gone and it became really, really boring. There was some hope, but Big Show and Kane took away whatever chance there was of the match being interesting. Daniel Bryan didn’t need to win, but he needed to be there to keep the crowd under control until the end. Having him lose clean, especially to Wyatt, is fine but don’t have him get thrown out in ten minutes after barely doing anything that early on.

The overarching problem with this Rumble was the lack of drama. Much like many bad Rumbles, there was zero doubt as to who was winning. There can be fun stories to be told if you stack the deck against them, but the final three (excluding Rusev) had as much drama as Mr. Perfect and Rick Rude vs. Hulk Hogan in 1990. On top of that they threw out Bryan ala throwing out Hogan early in 1989 and the results were just as lame. It didn’t help that the rest of the Rumble was horribly uninteresting with only one fun surprise and nothing else worth talking about. I could see it being the worst Rumble ever but 1999 is hard to top.

Overall, this show needs to be incredibly grateful for the classic World Title match because without that match, it’s a bunch of lame tag matches and a dreadful Rumble. That being said, the World Title match is good enough to make me forget about the earlier weak stuff, which is a common case in wrestling (see also Wrestlemania VI, where the show is pretty fondly remembered due to one match alone). WWE can salvage Wrestlemania’s main event, but this show left a horrible taste in a lot of mouths due to Reigns and Reigns alone being shoved down our unready throats.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: January 28, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This is becoming a more interesting show by the week as there are things changing, even though it seems like it’s staying the same. Cueto now has his hired goons and gets to be Vince with a Spanish accent. Other than that we have Prince Puma having to fight off Cage, meaning we might be hearing from the champ tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Crew turning on Ryck and joining Cueto last week.

Quick recap of Cage attacking Puma a few weeks back.

Cage is lifting weights in the back when Cueto comes up to praise him a bit. Cueto says Puma is defending his title tonight. Cage: “No. That means he’s losing it tonight.”

Mil Muertes vs. Fenix

The fans are way into Muertes. Granted they’re also way into Fenix. It’s almost like these fans are very easily entertained. Or they’re plants. This is a rematch from when Muertes beat Fenix to earn the last spot in Aztec Warfare. Fenix hits some running knees in the corner but Muertes just nails him with a right hand to the jaw.

An overhead suplex sends Fenix into the corner as the announcers get into an odd argument over how many moves Striker can call. Muertes keeps hammering away and throws Fenix off the top for two. Mil takes him up top for a superplex but Fenix interlocks their legs as they hit the mat and gets a VERY fast three count.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of that kind of booking and I never have been. Fenix was getting squashed here and then they have him get a quick pin for the surprise win. They did the same thing with Drago vs. Cuerno a few weeks back and I didn’t care for it then either. It’s also not a good sign that they’re already repeating finishes.

Video on Cage and how determined he is to destroy everyone around him. The video shows a bottle being broken over the back of his head and then punching a guy in the face. Oddly enough, this worked.

Argenis/Super Fly/Aerostar vs. Crenshaw Crew

Oh dear now I get to try to figure out who these people are. I believe Super Fly vs. Cortez gets us going. Not that I’d know because the commentators have to get in their backstories instead of talking about what’s in front of them. Either that or they don’t know either. Everything quickly breaks down and Super Fly dives on everyone. Striker’s first commentary about what’s in front of him: “WOW!” Come on we can’t even get WHAT A MANEUVER?

Cisco and I think Argenis come in (not that Striker seems to know his name) and things speed up again with Argenis getting two off a belly to back suplex. Cisco gets in a shot to the face and it’s back to Cortez who takes a hurricanrana, allowing for the tag to Aerostar, who climbs onto Argenis’ shoulders on the middle rope for a HUGE cross body. Since this is a lucha match though, Cortez is up in three seconds and kicking Aerostar in the face. Super Fly gets drawn in but the referee is fine with the faces double teaming. Cisco helps his partner to kick Aerostar down in the corner and send Fly to the floor as this is a big mess.

Cortez (gah or is it Cisco? Why do they have to wear the EXACT SAME CLOTHES?) stomps on Aerostar’s back before it’s off to Cisco for a bite to the mask. Bale gets two off a butterfly suplex and Cisco cranks on a chinlock. The fans get behind Aerostar as he fights up and climbs the ropes for a jumping back elbow to the jaw. Double tags bring in Bale and Argenis with the latter hitting a springboard hurricanrana and a sunset flip with Cortez and Bale having to break up the cover.

Cisco comes back in with a springboard double stomp for two as this match needs to end already. Argenis backdrops him down and makes the tag to Aerostar for a springboard splash. Everything breaks down and Argenis dives onto a bunch of people at ringside. Aerostar hurricanranas Cisco off the top onto the big pile before running inside for a springboard flip dive, drawing Striker’s third WOW of the match. Back in and the 3D into the Codebreaker is enough for Cortez to pin Aerostar.

Rating: C+. I’ve heard the criticism over the years that lucha libre has almost no psychology and it’s all about getting in your spots and doing the finish. I’ve never seen that criticism embodied more in a single match than this one. Yeah it was a fun match, but it was spot spot spot, pop up in four seconds, bunch of flips, finish. Oh and GET THE CREW DIFFERENT CLOTHES! I probably got every name wrong in the match, but at the end of the day, Cortez, Cisco and Bale are three versions of the same guy so it really doesn’t matter.

We get another sitdown interview with Vampiro talking to Konnan and Puma. Vampiro asks Puma how he’s feeling after winning the title but Konnan cuts him off to say Puma is mad after beating everyone and then getting jumped by Cage. Konnan, looking like he’s gained about 100lbs of neck fat since he left TNA, says Cage is going to the hospital. Vampiro is tired of Konnan answering for Puma and they get in each others faces. Vampiro looks ancient.

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Cage

Konnan is at ringside for the first time. Puma dives on Cage during the introductions and hits a nice middle rope hurricanrana to take Cage down. That’s fine with Cage who just runs him over with a clothesline and starts driving shoulders in the corner. Cage slaps on a half nelson with a chinlock and grabs a swinging neckbreaker for no cover. A victory roll gets two for Puma but a headscissors is countered into a sitout Alabama Slam for two.

Cage’s powerslam is countered into a tornado DDT but he just muscles Puma over into a butterfly suplex. Puma kicks out of a superplex attempt but dives into a Jackhammer (cool spot) for two. The big man busts out a middle rope moonsault, and a good one at that, for two of his own.

Back up and Puma hits some kicks but gets caught in a triple powerbomb, only to roll through the third and hit a basement dropkick before collapsing. They stagger up and Cage is launched face first into the middle buckle but comes back with a northern lights suplex into a snap suplex (minus the snap) for two. Puma loads up the 630 but Cage shoves the referee into the ropes and hits Puma low for the DQ.

Rating: B-. Good match but it was only there to set up a rematch. I liked the idea of Cage being the unusual power guy to the high flying champ and it will be a good win when Puma pins him to retain the title. It’s not a great match but it makes up for some weaker stuff earlier by actually having a story.

Cage hits him with a Downward Spiral as Konnan gets up on the apron. He breaks the cane over Cage’s back and takes the worst title shot I’ve ever seen. Cage rips the belt in half for the best move of the night. Seriously that thing was ugly.

The mystery woman from recent weeks shoves Cueto into his chair and says he’s looking for a man. Cueto tells her to question anyone she wants but she says something that sounds like “retonza.” He doesn’t know what it means and she disappears with a woosh sound effect to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was all over the place. You had some decent wrestling, some matches that felt like they went on forever, some storyline development, and some booking that made me want to rip my hair out. That being said, Lucha Underground is still really good at getting in a lot of stuff in the span of an hour. I’m also really liking the sitdown interviews. Yeah they’re short but they do a really good job of advancing stories in a hurry. I still wouldn’t mind Vampiro and Striker being replaced by drunken antelopes but you can’t have everything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Yesterday was the best day I’ve ever had for the E-Books to cap off the best month I’ve ever had.  Thank you to anyone who picked one of them up and thank you for keeping me going this long.

KB

Fall Brawl 1999
Date: September 12, 1998
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 7,491
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Well we had to get here eventually, even though I don’t think people wanted to. The main event here is Sting vs. Hogan for the title and Goldberg vs. Page because those are fresh matches. We also get to see the Revolution rising up the card in a big No DQ tag match and Benoit defending the US Title against one of the draws in Sid, who is nice enough to give Benoit a main event rub. This is also the first show without Bischoff at the helm so some of the details could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video that looks like it’s inspired by the Matrix with rapid fire text behind shots of Sting, Luger and Hogan as they talk about who can trust each other. Hogan will NEVER screw Sting of course.

The announcers, all wearing black ribbons in honor of Mark Curtis (nice touch), aren’t sure who should trust who either. Sid is officially 79-0 coming into tonight, because they wanted to match Goldberg’s Streak but couldn’t even keep their fake wins even with Goldberg fighting for the title in his 75^th match.

Video on the Clowns vs. the actual wrestlers. The point of the video is about whether they’re wrestlers or musicians plus something about Eddie and Vampiro not liking each other in Mexico. Nothing is mentioned about the Clowns and Vampiro recruiting various wrestlers, making it even more pointless than it seemed before.

The set is a big FALL BRAWL sign with the letters being used as the video screen. As I’m sure you can guess, this makes the video almost impossible to see, meaning WCW managed to screw up the idea of A BIG SCREEN.

Insane Clown Posse/Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr./Kidman

Same opener as last month. Mysterio now has bleached blond hair and the same attire as Kidman. We pause a bit as the heels are scared because they’ve never seen the color yellow. Xanthophobists. The stalling begins as Heenan points out the resemblance between Violent J. (with hair as blond as Mysterio) and Brian Knobbs. Kidman and Shaggy finally get things going with Shaggy sending Kidman into Vampiro’s boot. A dropkick puts Mr. 2 Dope (or is it Mr. Dope? His parents gave him the middle name 2?) down and they botch a wheelbarrow slam into a guillotine legdrop from Rey.

Eddie adds the slingshot hilo and the Clown is in early trouble. Mysterio hits the springboard falling splash before throwing him over for a tag to J. A catapult sends him into the buckle and the Clowns do the fake tag bit to bring in Vampiro. It’s off to Kidman who dropkicks Vampiro back into the corner, meaning we get more Clowns. Oh how blessed we truly are. J. scores with a chop (wow he can stick his hand out!) and it’s back to Vampiro for a good powerbomb on Kidman (that’s twice in two weeks. Kidman must be sick) for two.

A top rope spinwheel kick to the hands gets two for Vampiro as Tony gets in the revelation of the night, saying he used to braid his hair like Vampiro. Thankfully Tenay doesn’t let that by but Tony gets away from it as fast as he can. Back to J. for a weak chop before Kidman nails him with a clothesline. Rey comes in with the springboard seated senton and a Lionsault for two but the Clowns cheat to take Mysterio outside. Shaggy even needs help whipping Rey into the barricade.

Back in for a chinlock and some horrible stomps from Shaggy. Vampiro goes after Eddie and Kidman but it allows Rey to tag in Eddie to speed things up. A quick mule kick puts Guerrero down though and it’s back to J. for a side slam. Shaggy drops a top rope legdrop, which barely grazes Eddie’s forehead for two. There is zero reason to allow them to do high risk moves like that when they clearly can’t do them right. If nothing else it’s not fair to Eddie to lay there with his head and neck in danger like that.

Everything breaks down and Shaggy and Vampiro HORRIBLY botch something like a 3D with Vampiro sitting instead of falling and Shaggy losing his grip on Eddie, turning it into more of an assisted backdrop than anything else. Rey is down on the floor and seems to be hurt. Vampiro gutwrench superplexes Kidman but eats a missile dropkick from Eddie, who looks ticked off. The shooting star from Kidman is enough to pin Vampiro.

Rating: D-. I feel so, so sorry for the Filthy Animals here as they were in there with guys who had no business in the ring and had to babysit them. Eddie had to take that legdrop on his head and the botched 3D and Mysterio got hurt (might not have been the Clowns’ fault to be fair). These guys should be on the Revolution’s level right now (Eddie would be fine as a mouthpiece instead of Shane) but instead they’re in these bad opening matches because they have one talented guy to work with instead of three, putting them at a huge and unsafe handicap.

The Revolution guarantees a clean sweep tonight.

We recap Lenny Lane winning the Cruiserweight Title, which is basically just him sending Rey into Lodi and rolling him up for the pin. Kaz Hayashi pinned Lenny in a match against Lodi and that’s enough for the title shot. Of course these guys couldn’t keep an eye on the Clowns while the other three fight over the title.

Cruiserweight Title: Kaz Hayashi vs. Lenny Lane

Lodi has at least toned it down a bit and is just covered in glitter and wearing leather pants. It’s amazing how much different Tony is without Bischoff around as he’s staying on the stories and matches without saying anything overly stupid. Feeling out process to start until Lane prances around the ring. Kaz fires off some kicks to the leg and kicks Lenny in the back to pull him down into a sunset flip for two. That’s a new one. A nice headscissors sends Lane to the floor and he jumps into Lodi’s arms in an old standard. Kaz dives onto both of them and the champ is still in trouble.

Lodi finally gets something right by tripping Hayashi to give Lane control. A sitout wheelbarrow slam gets two on Kaz and it’s time to pose. Lane hits a nice sitout gutwrench powerbomb for two as this match is actually pretty good so far. Kaz gets back up and sends Lenny outside for a big flip dive. The advantage is short lived though as Lodi gets in a cheap shot to give Lenny control again.

We hit the chinlock with Chris Jericho look-a-like Lenny Lane telling the referee to ask him. Hayashi escapes a German suplex and gets two off a standing hurricanrana, only to get bulldogged down for the same. The champ gets caught in a belly to back and a running Liger Bomb out of the corner gets two more with Lodi making the save. You can tell Bischoff is gone as Tony actually knew the name of the move.

Kaz is crotched on top and you can see the glitter all over his back. Lenny and Lodi almost collide, allowing Kaz to grab a victory roll for two more. Lodi’s next attempt at cheating works though as he snaps Kaz throat first across the top rope, setting up a Skull Crushing Finale to retain Lenny’s title.

Rating: C+. Why do I have a bad feeling we just saw the match of the night? This was far better than I was expecting, which isn’t saying much as I didn’t expect anything from this one. It’s a totally acceptable and at times quite good match with Kaz being a good choice as challenger of the week to Lane’s title, even though he’s just keeping it warm until we get to a bigger name to take over as champion.

Here’s Sting for the pay per view interview before his title shot in the main event. First up, Luger is on the verge of losing their friendship forever. Tonight is beyond big for Sting so if Luger sticks his nose in his business tonight, it’s the same result as it was last week. I’m assuming he means earlier this week on Monday when Sting punched him but you can’t expect grown men to remember things like days of the week. Sting takes the mic and says his ninth title reign could start tonight because it’s showtime folks. This really didn’t need to be on pay per view.

We recap the Revolution vs. the First Family and I still have no idea why this match is happening.

Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko vs. Hugh Morrus/Brian Knobbs

No DQ for reasons that have yet to be explained. Shane says we’re in Saginaw, Michigan, which to be fair is where they taped Thunder a mere ten days earlier. It’s a brawl to start, which is what it should be in a No DQ match. Morrus easily stomps Shane down on the floor, leaving Dean to beat up both villains on his own. Shane comes back in to low blow both guys as you can see the fans leaving to go to the concession stands.

The First Family poses outside so some baseball slides (baseball grab the rope and kick for Shane) knock them into the aisle. The announcers do everything they can to put the First Family over as a major threat and a good team, even as Malenko and Douglas send them into the steps. Lots of punching abounds until we settle down to Knobbs vs. Shane in the ring. Brian gives him the Pit Stop before it’s off to Malenko to armdrag the legal Morrus. Hugh hammers away in the corner but charges into Shane’s boots.

Back to Dean as you can still see about ten seats opposite the hard camera sitting empty. They head outside with Brian sending Shane into the barricade but Douglas trips Morrus off the apron to take over. Back in and Knobbs slams Shane down, only to dive into a raised boot. The hot tag brings in Dean to clean house as the fans really aren’t interested. Could it be because he’s beating up some goofs who should be headlining Saturday Night? Knobbs is sent to the floor where he trips Dean, allowing Morrus to plant him with a slam, setting up No Laughing Matter for the pin. It really was that sudden.

Rating: G. As in good grief just close the doors now. I know the big match coming later that people usually rant about on this show, but this one is far more absurd. At least with the other one it’s a big name going over an up and comer. This is putting two young(ish) guys down for the sake of pushing BRIAN KNOBBS??? To make it even worse, the First Family would win a total of two more televised matches for the rest of the year, meaning this didn’t even lead anywhere.

This comes off as more of a political move than anything else, as WCW can now say the fans aren’t behind the Revolution because fans rarely cheer teams that lose completely clean to low level tag teams on pay per view. “See? The fans don’t like them so there’s no point in pushing them. Maybe they can put over the Rednecks again so we can laugh at those southern idiots cheering a couple of cowboys.” The No DQ stuff didn’t mean anything else as they were only on the floor in the first part of the match.

I watched this match out of context a few years back and I was more angry than anything else. Watching it again, with all the Nitros and Thunders to give it context, it’s more sad now. Somehow seeing these two jugheads beat the team that should be helping bring WCW into the new generation doesn’t surprise me. It’s something that makes sense for WCW and makes me wonder how Dean and company managed to stay as long as they did. That’s sad.

Tony immediately brings up Saturn being wrong about guaranteeing a sweep tonight, just to emphasize that the Revolution is a bunch of losers.

We recap Saturn vs. Steiner which is little more than old vs. new for old’s TV Title, which he’s already said is worthless and doesn’t even carry with him.

TV Title: Perry Saturn vs. Rick Steiner

As usual, the announcers talk about Scott Steiner like he’s here every week even though he hasn’t been seen in about four months. Steiner immediately takes Saturn down and hits him in the face as we’re told that Buff Bagwell hasn’t arrived yet so there will be a replacement for his match with Berlyn.

Saturn speeds things up with a superkick and spinning springboard legdrop to send the champ outside, setting up a nice suicide dive. The fans aren’t reacting to these moves but they’re nice at least. Back in and a release German gets two on the champ but he kicks Saturn between the legs (thankfully the referee wasn’t looking for a change) to take over. Tenay talks about Mark Curtis passing away and you can tell the announcers really cared for him.

Saturn is sent outside and into the steps, followed by an exposed DDT on the concrete. Now in 1986, that started a big house show feud between Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat. Here, it doesn’t keep Saturn off his feet for thirty seconds. Steiner hits a good looking release German for two and we hit the reverse chinlock to keep the crowd comatose. Now it’s a kneeling half crab, making Saturn slap the mat to get the crowd fired up, which isn’t tapping out because of…..uh, reasons.

Steiner clearly isn’t even pulling back on the hold to make this an even bigger laughingstock. Thankfully Saturn doesn’t bother to sell it and hits a middle rope dropkick and a modified t-bone suplex for two of his own. The Death Valley Driver gets the same to make it clear that Steiner is retaining. He rams Saturn stomach first into the buckle but gets crotched on top. It’s more false hope though as Steiner shoves him off the ropes and hits the bulldog to retain.

Rating: D. Saturn was trying but you can’t out work stupid booking. I have no idea who thought keeping the title on Steiner was a good idea at this point but they must have had a lot of stroke. The TV Title isn’t going to make it to the middle of April (and would be gone for about two and a half months in between) and it’s this reign that killed it. The matches haven’t been good (his opponents’ halves have been watchable but that’s about it) and the fans just do not react to him. Plus there was that time when he said the title was worthless. Why keep the title around if there’s nothing to it?

Tony keeps piling on the Revolution and makes it worse by bringing up Goldberg beating Steiner last month, just to emphasize how many people there are that are better than Saturn.

Hogan is sick of the wrestlers questioning him. He’s promised his kids that he will not stab Sting in the back because he would have done it a long time ago. Tonight, he’s taking care of Sting and he’ll take care of Luger later. Ignore the WE WANT FLAIR chants during this segment because Flair isn’t a draw, especially in the Carolinas.

The announcers speculate about Hogan being worried. They really picked now to kill time after three straight heel wins?

Berlyn vs. ???

Berlyn has a big bodyguard with him meaning the horrible blonde interpreter seems to be gone. The replacement opponent……Jim Duggan. Berlyn jumps him before the bell but a dropkick doesn’t put Duggan down. Some clotheslines send Berlyn over the top and out to the floor for a USA chant. After some stalling, an atomic drop sends Berlyn into the corner as it’s almost all Duggan.

Berlyn kicks him in the ribs and grabs a headlock before Jim no sells a European uppercut. An eye poke finally slows him down and we hit the chinlock to kill whatever momentum they were getting. Duggan fights up and drives some shoulders into the ribs before they hit the mat for something resembling a wrestling sequence, which is somehow even worse than you would expect. Now they just stand there and look at each other until Berlyn hooks the worst snapmare this side of Dusty vs. Flair at Starrcade 1985.

We hit another chinlock as Heenan says this looks like two winos fighting over a bottle on the sidewalk. Bobby gets in an easy set of jokes about a hair takedown (“Is that German? When I’m over there it’s Herr Heenan and Okerlund is still Herr less.”) as they head outside for the yet to be named Wall to run Duggan over with a clothesline. Back in and they finally end this mess with Berlyn hitting a sitdown neckbreaker, which Duggan sells by falling backwards onto him.

Rating: F. As much as I’d love to blast Berlyn, this was almost all on Duggan. He wouldn’t sell and spent most of the match making goofy faces instead of doing anything productive. The announcers were more into the bodyguard than the match, but can you blame them after this mess? This was pretty much it for Berlyn as he wouldn’t recover from this mess. I feel bad for him as this is the second time this happened to Wright. You might remember SuperBrawl V in 1995, where Paul Roma basically did the exact same thing. That’s some horrible luck.

We cut to the back to see Buff Bagwell who says he can be ready in two minutes but agent Mike Graham says the format has already been changed. Buff hits the ring but Duggan is mad at him. From what I can find, Bagwell didn’t want to do the job so they sent Duggan out there instead. As unprofessional as that is, can you blame Bagwell? He was supposed to get this big push and then Piper wouldn’t put him over in a wrestling match and Bagwell’s push was gone, so now he’s supposed to job to Alex Wright in a gimmick that has already bombed? As usual, WCW seems to be a huge mess behind and in front of the camera.

Quick recap of the Tag Team Title feud. The Rednecks cheated to win the belts and Harlem Heat wants their rematch. After all this mess tonight, a simple story like that sounds great.

Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. West Texas Rednecks

Kendall Windham in a spot this big doesn’t sound good however. Curly Bill isn’t here, which is probably best for everyone involved. Curt however is here with the cowbell. Heenan brings up the Steiners as the most dominant tag team of all time (because where would we be without praising them in 1999?) and Tony says they were the best team of the 1980s, despite wrestling for a year at most in that decade.

After a brawl to start it’s Booker kicking Kendall down before Barry comes in and getting double suplexed. There’s a big boot to Barry’s face as the crowd is trying to get into this for some reason. Then the tag brings in Kendall and the fans go right back down, which WCW never seemed to learn. Stevie stares at Kendall for trying to punch him but a right hand from Barry puts him down. Barry just looks horribly out of shape and it’s a very good thing that he’s wrestling in a t-shirt.

Curt doesn’t seem to be paying attention as a double clothesline gets two on Stevie. Ray powerslams him down and it’s off to Kendall vs. Booker with T. taking over with the usual kicks. Hennig gets on the apron but Booker kicks Kendall down again, sending all three Rednecks to the floor. Booker follows them out and gets beaten up as Stevie is too slow getting over for the save.

Back in and Booker shrugs off Kendall’s lame offense and hits the ax kick, only to have Barry clothesline him down. Hennig gets in some cheap shots as Stevie gets held back by the referee. Barry’s superplex gets two with Stevie finally getting the timing right on the save. The spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Booker as this match just keeps going. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Stevie and the Rednecks cheat even more.

Kendall gets two off a middle rope clothesline and Stevie doesn’t even have to move from the apron to make the save. They redo the missed tag spot but this time Stevie just beats the Windhams up anyway. Everything breaks down and Curt hits Stevie with the cowbell but the referee doesn’t see the cover. Booker comes in off the top with the missile dropkick to give the Heat the belts back.

Rating: D. And that’s being generous because I’ve failed a lot of matches tonight. This was so boring as it went on about five minutes longer than it should have and didn’t get anywhere. Harlem Heat getting the belts back is definitely the right move, but we’re right back where we were after Road Wild went off the air. This show is long past the point of saving and this didn’t help things. It doesn’t help that this is the sixth match and the second won by good guys. Side note: this is the eleventh title change of the year (counting vacations) and we’re eight and a half months into the year. There would be eight more coming.

We recap the Sid Vicious Streak and Benoit challenging him because that’s what a good, young wrestler does. Sid even called Benoit the only member of the Revolution that stood out. Here’s his reward for impressing Sid.

US Title: Sid Vicious vs. Chris Benoit

I love how the announcers just talk about Sid’s streak like it’s legit and the same as Goldberg’s, even after showing us how he got there. Tenay brings up the disaster that was the battle royal competition on Monday to get things going. We start with the stalling as referee Charles Robinson is accused of being a Sid cheerleader. Sid shoves Benoit down and stops to yell at the fans. Tony: “That was a big moment for Sid.” Sid knocks him to the floor with a shoulder as the announcers are already treating this like a mismatch.

Back in and Sid hammers away before choking on the ropes. A dragon screw leg whip puts Sid down and Benoit starts working on the knee like a smart wrestler would. An Indian deathlock makes Sid scream as the empty seats are showing up again. The fans chant for Goldberg as Sid gets back up and kicks at Benoit in the corner. A running boot misses but confirms that Sid isn’t interested in selling the knee. Benoit wraps the knee around the post and crushes them between the post and steps (Tony: “HOLY CHRISTMAS!”) twice in a row.

Sid is thrown back inside and easily catches Benoit’s top rope cross body, even lifting up his good knee to drive into Benoit’s back, meaning he’s holding Benoit up on the bad leg alone thirty seconds after Benoit crushed it against the post. All hope is lost. Benoit muscles him over with a German but Sid pops up and hits a Samoan drop to counter a crucifix attempt. A cobra clutch puts Benoit down again and we hit the chinlock (with Sid’s hands around Benoit’s face and no pressure on the back because Sid CAN’T EVEN DO A CHINLOCK PROPERLY) because all this no selling has made Sid tired.

Benoit fights up and tries a sunset flip but Sid just sits on him to stop any comeback attempt. Another dropkick to the knee puts Sid down and there’s the Crossface. Sid SLAPS THE MAT but it’s hitting the mat in disgust instead of tapping. My goodness this is killing my soul. Sid of course gets to stand up and break the hold but is nice enough to fall back down with his foot in the ropes. Not that it matters as Sid avoids the Swan Dive and powerbombs Benoit for the pin and the title.

Rating: S. For Screw You WCW. Seriously screw you. Benoit was doing everything he could out there to tell a story by going after the knee and trying to break Sid down but Sid just gets up and does whatever he wants because WCW is run by a bunch of incompetent morons. It’s even a theme tonight.

The Clowns get on the show because they’re famous (to a niche group of fans of course but when has that ever stopped WCW?) and WCW sends out its talented guys to baby sit them. The First Family gets to beat Malenko and Douglas completely clean because well why not. Then Rick Steiner gets to keep his title because they haven’t buried that thing enough yet. Bagwell, who is a veteran at this point as he’s been in WCW for over eight years, doesn’t feel like losing so we have to watch Duggan be a disaster (and likely not get punished for no selling) and then see Bagwell do a run-in anyway, meaning he likely got a PPV pay day.

Then the Windhams still have jobs despite Barry not being in good enough shape to wrestle without a t-shirt on (which is too small and we can still see his huge gut). Then there’s this mess, which results in Benoit being pushed down the card and Sid getting the biggest push he ever had in WCW because they can’t get any worse than this right? I’m so glad Benoit and company would be gone soon because no one who works hard even at all deserves to go through this.

And just to top it off. Tony: “He earned win #80 here.” Again, make sure you emphasize that the Revolution is just not good enough in case someone thinks otherwise.

We recap Page vs. Goldberg, which is basically Goldberg destroying the Triad to give him something to do before the big showdown with Sid.

Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Tenay brings up the Halloween Havoc match from last year before admitting that it’s a completely different Page now. We get an old school weapons check….and the referee finds a chain. And a roll of coins! That right there is the only funny thing we’re going to see all night. Goldberg slugs Page to the floor and the stalling is already on. Back in and Page gets caught in a headlock before getting shoved into the corner a few times.

A shoulder sends Page back outside where he threatens to leave if the Goldberg chants don’t stop. They head into the crowd with Goldberg getting the better of it, as if you would expect anything else. Back in and the Diamond Cutter is countered into a powerslam. Page shoves the referee down and kicks Goldberg low before pulling out a third weapon to knock Goldberg silly. We hit the standard heel slowdown offense as Page hits him with the object again. Thankfully the referee wasn’t looking for no apparent reason.

Off to the chinlock as this torture continues. Goldberg Hulks Up but gets caught in a bad looking float over DDT for two. Page tries a spear but gets suplexed down for two as the Triad is here. Kanyon breaks something over the back of Goldberg’s head (drawing blood from the neck) and setting up a left armed Rock Bottom from Page for two more. Not that it matters as the spear and Jackhammer finish Page with ease.

Rating: D. One of the best matches of the night here despite being an exercise in how long can we stay in Memphis before Page comes back and pins Page. DDP was not working as a heel here with most of his heat coming from Yo Mama jokes and then bad matches following. Nothing to see here as the match was never once in doubt, especially with Sid looming (and still not selling anything as he waits).

We recap Hogan vs. Sting, which again is over trust or some nonsense like that involving the Hummer, because that thing just won’t die.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

Buffer says Sting has no affiliation. Hogan doesn’t really either does he? Before the bell, here’s Bret Hart (Buffer: “Only to pass on his offer of good luck for both men. He’s from the First Family of wrestling.” Please, no more First Family tonight. They’ve done enough.” Bret leaves without incident and I’m sure we won’t see him again. They shove each other around to start and exchange pokes in the chest. Hogan works on a wristlock before taking Sting down for something like an STF without the legs being tied together. Great. I have to put up with 15 minutes of Hulk Thesz tonight.

Hogan yells at some fans for some reason before driving knees to the ribs in the corner. You can see even more empty seats near the back of the arena and it’s hard to argue at this point. Sting actually hits the big jumping elbow drop for two and it’s off to the test of strength. Hogan kicks him in the ribs (called a knee by Tony) but Sting no sells a suplex. Oh no he’s been watching Sid tapes.

They fight to the floor with Hogan talking about it being for the World Title and choking with a cord. He’s definitely wrestling as Hollywood tonight. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two on Sting and we hit another chinlock. Off to an abdominal stretch as Hogan’s dominance continues. Right hands in the corner have Sting in even more trouble and we’re just waiting on the interference.

Sting gets two of his own off a cross body and hits two Stinger Splashes but misses the third. It’s already Hulk Up time and the big boot clearly doesn’t make contact. Cue DDP to nail the referee as the legdrop connects. A Diamond Cutter puts Hogan down and Sting is put on top but Hogan kicks out at two. That’s a Diamond Cutter for the referee and another Hulk Up.

Now Hart comes back in to take out Page but Sid comes out as well, only to take the big boot to the shoulder (which he sells more than all of Benoit’s offense combined because of course he does). Luger comes in but drops the bat he was carrying, allowing Sting to nail Hogan (drawing the pop of the night), setting up the Deathlock on the unconscious Hogan for the title.

Rating: D. You have to be a really, REALLY stupid company to turn Sting heel but they somehow did it. This wasn’t the worst main event ever, but they clearly didn’t have any way to make someone lose here so they went with the big mess instead. I can live with that and the match wasn’t completely horrible, but again, they’re trying to turn Sting heel and as anyone who has watched wrestling for more than 18 seconds can tell you, that is never going to work.

Luger and Sting celebrate as Heenan is thrilled with Hogan getting stabbed in the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. The level of failure this show hits is beyond words. They have somehow managed to do almost every possible thing wrong on a single show and somehow made it even worse. I’m thinking of the good things on this show and it’s a very short list: Kaz vs. Lane was match of the night by about ten miles, Page having weapons on him was a funny bit, and…..someone help me out here. What else was good on this show?

It takes a very special kind of show for me to get mad fifteen years after it aired when I already know the results. Somehow this show did it as it took me all day to make myself sit through this mess. WCW managing to stick around as long as they did is astounding to me as there is no reason to stick around after watching something like this.

This is being written six days after the 2015 Royal Rumble, which made a lot of people say WWE was a disaster. Whenever you get annoyed at WWE, go back and watch some late 1999 WCW and your perspective will change. WWE today is light years ahead of this as you can at least get more than one good match and there’s an actual story (albeit somewhat misguided) in the main event. This show consistently goes against every possible thing people could want to see and seems to encourage its veterans to screw up and destroy the future.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this is actually worse than Heroes of Wrestling, which aired about a month after this. Yeah Heroes of Wrestling is a disaster, but it’s a disaster in a way that you can laugh at it. This show on the other hand felt more cruel than anything else. It felt like they were trying to be as stupid and short sighted as they could while taking the fans’ money at the same time. WCW has officially hit rock bottom and things can only get better with Russo. I mean that literally. I cannon imagine things actually getting worse than this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: September 9, 1999
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Attendance: 4,653
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Mike Tenay

We’re into a new era here in WCW as I’m convinced the company gave up at the last Nitro. Unfortunately that means we have a taped Thunder to sit through, even though the previous show felt like the taped episode. I know I keep saying that things can’t get any worse and I’ve been wrong every single time. Let’s get to it.

This show is in memory of Mark Curtis who died of cancer shortly before this show.

Buff Bagwell vs. Barbarian

Buff poses, then locks up, then poses, then gets kicked in the face. I like this Barbarian’s style. He hammers away with every sort of strike you can think of, only to miss a clothesline and get dropkicked out to the floor. After a chat with Jimmy (who apparently speaks monster), Barbarian comes back in and gets stomped down yet again. Jimmy distracts Buff (like it’s that hard) so Barbarian can hammer away.

Even Hart gets in some choking on the ropes as he continues to be one of the hardest working manager in wrestling. Barbarian gets two off a side slam and it’s already time for Buff’s comeback with a cross body and neckbreaker for two of his own. Jimmy throws something in but Buff intercepts it and knocks Barbarian cold (1. Some hero. 2. Does no one remember racial stereotypes?) for the pin.

Rating: D. Maybe Berlyn is right and we should all start speaking German. They couldn’t even let the guy who is supposed to be the hero win with his cool looking finisher? If there’s a guy who had one of the easiest paths to being a face it’s Bagwell, but instead he has to cheat to win a match to set up a match where he’s supposed to be fighting for America. These are the kind of small things that really shouldn’t be happening but WCW seems to think no one is going to notice and/or care.

Clip of Berlyn from Nitro.

Now here’s something that has no business on this show: a geniunely good video history of Sting and Luger, dating back to their arrival in the Crockett territory and including clips from their time together as a team (including Crockett Cup footage) and their feud over the World Title.

Van Hammer vs. Blitzkrieg

Hammer starts fast by throwing Blitzkrieg across the ring like the cruiserweight he is…..and talks to the wrong camera. Blitzkrieg tries to get in some kicks and speed things up but dives into something like the Eye of the Storm (a Razor’s Edge but Hammer spins him around and drops him without ever leaving his feet). Hammer nails a running corner clothesline and drops a leg (on the chest but close enough) for two. A sunset flip goes as well for Blitzkrieg as you would expect and Hammer suplexes him down again.

Another suplex drops Blitzy again and Hammer goes up for a Swanton of all things. Since it takes him as long as frozen molasses going uphill, Blitzkrieg rolls away and hits a standing moonsault. He tries again since nothing else has worked but only hits mat, allowing Hammer to throw him around the ring again. They head outside to kill even more time, and so Hammer can no sell a moonsault off the apron. Back in and the cobra clutch slam ends Blitzkrieg with ease.

Rating: D-. So we had a long and boring squash with Blitzkrieg getting destroyed for the sake of Van Hammer, who hasn’t been going anywhere and won’t be going anywhere for the sake of filling in time on a taped Thunder. And for some reason it got over five minutes, just so Hammer could no sell Blitzkrieg’s big spot and win with a move as lame as a cobra clutch slam? All hail WCW.

Video on Page vs. Goldberg.

Video on who was driving the Hummer. Why am I supposed to still care about this?

Chris Benoit/Perry Saturn/Shane Douglas vs. Chris Adams/Steven Regal/Dave Taylor

Regal and Benoit trade headbutts to start as the fans chant USA. Off to Taylor for some hard European uppercuts before a double tag quickly brings in Saturn and Adams. Perry slams Adams down and drops him on his head for a pretty scary semi-botch. It’s off to Shane for some stomping as he still wrestles like a heel after shoehorning his way onto this team.

Ever the genius, Shane goes over into the corner and gets nailed by the Union Jack to give the Europeans control. The triple teaming only lasts a few moments but does include a save by Saturn. Shane rolls over for the hot tag off to Benoit and everything breaks down. Benoit and Adams stay in the ring and it’s a German suplex into the Swan Dive and Crossface for the submission.

Rating: D+. Really standard six man here as Benoit continues to be the only one in the team that gets to show off in the ring. Malenko has the skill but doesn’t get to do much, Saturn is more flashy than skilled at this point and Shane is a talker who is only average in the ring. I do however like the Europeans as the talented losers who are always going to look at least passable.

Lodi vs. Kaz Hayashi

This match….again? Kaz goes after Lenny but Lodi screws up the double team attempt. The spot is oh so hilarious that they do the same thing again until Lenny finally proves his worth by distracting Kaz long enough for Lodi to grab a suplex. Lodi takes him to the floor and sends him into the barricade a few times before heading back inside for the basic stuff he can do, mainly because he’s just a comedy character who is wrestling to continue an angle that should have died months ago.

A clothesline and powerslam get two on Kaz and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. We get the old Earl Hebner spot as Kaz tries a sunset flip but Lenny and Lodi grab hands, only to have the referee kick them apart for two. Kaz gets two more off a brainbuster before Lenny gets on the apron again but Kaz sends Lodi into his partner, setting up a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The worst part about this match is it was fairly entertaining and had a story to it: whenever Lodi was on his own he beat Kaz up but whenever he tried to have Lenny help, everything fell apart. That being said, it’s fairly stupid to have Kaz in trouble against Lodi before he has a title shot this Sunday.

Lenny tries some elbows on Kaz but keeps hitting mat.

Video on Sting and Hogan, who are suddenly friends after all those years of like, hating each other.

Sid Vicious vs. Adrian Byrd/Bobby Blaze

Both guys are allowed in at once and it makes about as much difference as you would expect. The powerbomb ends Byrd in less than a minute.

Blaze gets the same treatment and Charles Robinson gets to hold up the signs. Sid says his usual schtick about being the Millennium Man.

Here’s the Revolution with Benoit missing the US Title and Dean carrying the TV Title for no apparent reason. You would think Saturn, as in the guy challenging for it on Sunday, would be holding it but I’m not sure WCW remembers what they’re doing that far in advance. Dean rambles about the title belonging to people like them and says Rick can get it back in a match tonight, one on one with Sid staying in the back. Shane does a bit better as he talks about the Revolution being addicted to gold and not stopping until they have all the titles.

Barry Windham vs. Booker T.

Booker seems to like the look of that title belt. Kendall tries to validate his employment by offering a distraction, allowing Barry to get the early advantage. Booker hammers away with his usual array of strikes and the flying forearm. They head outside and both sets of partners (well partner in Booker’s case) get in some cheap shots.

Back in and Barry nails a DDT, probably the only non-striking move he can do at this point. Windham hammers away and shocks me with a suplex before throwing Booker outside for a Redneck beating. Back in again and Barry slowly stomps away, only to miss an elbow. Mr. T. comes up with his series of kicks and we even get some breakdancing. He loads up the missile dropkick but the Rednecks come in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Somehow this is one of the better matches of the night. I’m fine with Harlem Heat being back together, but it astounds me that the Rednecks are the best team they can find for them to chase. Kendall isn’t getting a rub out of this as he continues to be one of the most useless guys I’ve seen in years. Can we get to something else for these guys already?

Stevie tries to make the save and gets beaten down as well.

Clip of Sting getting laid out on Monday.

TV Title: Dean Malenko vs. Rick Steiner

Dean is challenging but has the belt, which apparently he stole at some point earlier in the night. Rick jumps him before the bell and plants him with a suplex as we already take a break. Back with Dean nailing a dropkick and getting punched square in the face for his efforts. Cue Sid as Malenko rolls Steiner up, only to kick him off and right into the chokeslam for the fast DQ. The match might have been four minutes, counting commercial.

Shane comes in and gets beaten down as well. Benoit is able to grab the Crossface on Sid but Steiner makes the save. Cue Saturn so we can see the ENTIRE REVOLUTION getting beaten down by these two main event legends. Yes I said MAIN EVENT LEGENDS, meaning only other MAIN EVENT LEGENDS can fight them because that’s how WCW works. Saturn finally backdrops Sid to the floor and Steiner bails.

Goldberg vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

From something nearly on top of a pay per view to main eventing a taped Thunder. Bigelow jumps him during the weapons check so Goldberg easily slams him down. We get some Zbyszko level stalling from Bam Bam on the floor before Goldberg catches a cross body attempt in midair. Goldberg just holds him there before a World’s Strongest Slam sets up a bad looking armbar.

The referee gets knocked down before Goldberg knocks Bigelow silly with a clothesline. Bigelow hammers away with offense that doesn’t require a referee bump. Goldberg no sells everything and hits the Bret Killer kick, drawing in Page. The referee, apparently in a coma by this point, is still down as Goldberg spears Bigelow down. Page bails to the floor as Goldberg Jackhammers Bam Bam for the pin.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t any good but Goldberg was showing the old fire from when he was World Champion. When he gets that power game going, he’s one of the most awesome guys you’ll ever see and he was knocking Bigelow silly out there. Page running in was pretty obvious, just like the fact that he’s going to get mauled on Sunday.

Page nails Goldberg with a chair but runs away to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. See, Thunder does offer a legitimate alternative to Nitro. While Nitro is a horrible show because it’s illogical and repetitive, Thunder is a horrible show because it’s incredibly boring and doesn’t have good matches. They really need to get to the Russo era so we can get something more interesting instead of just bad. Total waste of TV time here and I don’t want to see Fall Brawl.

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