Monday Nitro – August 9, 1999: A Show That Needs No Introduction

Monday Nitro #200
Date: August 9, 1999
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

We’re at a milestone show here and there’s a pretty well known main event. At the moment we have the battle of the old guys with feuds ranging from Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan, Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg and Sting vs. Sid Vicious. That sounds like a reason to mix those guys up in a big match. Oh and we have country music with Chad Brock. Yeah I don’t remember him either. This is also the go home show for Road Wild. Let’s get to it.

Quick recap of the end of last week’s show.

Tony is back on commentary with no reason given for his absence. He does however have an announcement: Dusty Rhodes is now head of the WCW Championship Committee. Wasn’t he last seen as part of the NWO?

Norman Smiley/Lash Leroux/Prince Iaukea vs. Vampiro/Insane Clown Posse

Uh…yay. Raven is in the corner and has officially named the team the Dead Pool. Do they like chimichangas? Vampiro and Lash get things going with some chops back and forth. Tony is back to his old standard by randomly talking about Nash vs. Hogan. Off to the Prince for his selection of right hands but Vampiro hits a kind of throwing powerbomb. You would think Norman or Lash would have done something given that he powerbombed Iaukea out of their corner, but my guess is they’re trying to figure out why the Insane Clown Posse is wrestling a match in Idaho.

Violent J. (called Jack Jeckyl by Tony. To be fair that’s what it says on his jersey) hits a decent suplex before playing Neidhart to Vampiro’s Hart in a Hart Attack. Shaggy comes in for a bad looking DDT but Prince sweeps the legs to take over. To make things worse, Shaggy’s shorts are falling down. Norman tries to come in to help Iaukea but it just allows Vampiro to hit him low.

J. drops a leg to the chest but hurts his head with a headbutt to the Prince. At least he knows his stereotypes. They head outside with Vampiro throwing Iaukea into the steps. Back in and Shaggy misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Norman. A big old spinning slam drops Shaggy and everything breaks down. The fans are actually WAY into this one. Vampiro suplexes Lash down and J. adds a moonsault for the pin.

Rating: C-. The Clowns are an interesting case as they actually have some training so it’s WAY better than when celebrities have matches on Raw, but I’d still be hard pressed to call them good. They can do some very basic stuff like suplexes and the moonsault was acceptable, but they’d be lost trying to do more than a four minute match without people there to help them. Case in point, this match worked for the most part because the Clowns weren’t in a good chunk of it and the wrestlers carried it. The crowd helped a lot too as they were into the match, but the wrestling was nothing great.

Nitro Girls.

The Revolution is in the back with Dusty and ask him when things are going to change around here. Dusty says in due time but gets cut off by David Flair and Torrie Wilson. Dusty is called an old man so Benoit slaps the Crossface on David. Apparently the way to make things change is through violence because that earned Benoit a US Title shot. It’s about time someone realized David and his dad had no authority anymore and they could get the US Title off of him in about 10 seconds.

Curt Hennig/Barry Windham vs. Public Enemy

The Rednecks have a new song called Good Old Boys, which is nowhere near as catchy. Tony starts talking about Chad Brock and actually gives us a reason for him to be here: he used to train at the Power Plant and actually was in an eight man tag on Saturday Night back in 1996. That still doesn’t make me want to see him but WCW never really cared what fans thought. Hennig throws Rocco around the ring to start but eats a boot in the corner.

Off to Grunge who has the same luck as Hennig when Windham blasts him with a lariat. Kendall actually does something by tripping up Grunge to keep the Rednecks in control. We hear about Brock even more as Johnny and Curt double clothesline each other. It’s a double tag as Public Enemy takes over with their usual brawling before a flip dive puts Barry through the table. Not that it matters though as Curt nails Grunge with the cowbell for the pin.

Rating: D. The Rednecks seem to be in decline as there isn’t much for them to do anymore. If the best they can come up with is having Curt feud with the country singer coming in to perform, they need to just disband the team now or let Hennig and Windham be a regular tag team. It was a fun idea while it lasted but there’s nothing for the team to do right now.

Little Jeanie vs. Mona

Tony tries to tell us how easy it is to order a WCW PPV as this is sounding more and more desperate every week. Jeanie never did anything that I can find. Apparently Mona was a powerlifter in her younger days, which isn’t something you would expect out of someone her size. They hit the mat to start and trade some hammerlocks and armbars. Jeanie isn’t half bad out there and takes a decent monkey flip to send her outside.

The match stalls for a bit as they trade places, only to have Jeanie choke a bit on the way back in. Mona gets two off a sunset flip and the fans give her a good reaction. Granted it likely has something to do with the short skirt flipping over but a pop is better than nothing. Back up and a dropkick to the head sends Jeanie into the corner. For a sweet ending, Mona puts on an Indian deathlock but grabs Jeanie’s shoulders and rolls her over, bridging the legs into the air for a pin.

Rating: C+. Shockingly good match here and I’m surprised Jeanie never did anything else. She needed some work but with more experience and some polish she could have been something decent. Mona of course would have her success in the near future and it’s easy to see why off this match. This was a big, nice surprise.

Brandi Alexander, a chick that Mona beat up before, comes in but takes a clothesline from Mona.

Video on Hogan vs. Nash.

Hogan is in the back when his son Nick comes in. Hogan is in the NWO gear and Nick wants to know why his dad didn’t wear the red and yellow that Nick packed for him. We hear a noise though and Hulk runs out of the room, only to get laid out by Nash, Sid and Steiner. They beat him out to the ring but Sting and Goldberg make a quick save.

This is apparently enough for Hogan to put his career on the line on Saturday and makes a challenge for a six man tag. Nash says it’s on, but Sting wants Nash’s career on the line too. That’s cool as well, but Goldberg tops them all. He says Steiner doesn’t have anything to put on the line at Road Wild so he’ll just have to beat Steiner up.

Is there any question why the title was retired soon after this? I mean good grief it’s one thing to not acknowledge that someone is a champion but to flat out say that the belt is worthless? The worst part: you know Goldberg never got any flack for that backstage. Why would he anyway? The title has been dying a brutal death since Steiner became champion and just brutalized everyone he’s fought in meaningless matches.

That belt could be used for people like the Revolution, Booker T., Bagwell, even Disco Inferno or Cat. But instead it’s being held by a guy no one cares about while Goldberg says the belt doesn’t matter. Stupid decisions like this are among the biggest reasons WCW went under: they didn’t care about anyone but the old guys and they think people care about guys like Rick Steiner because he was a big deal nine years ago. I really can’t get over that stupid line. I agree Goldberg is above the TV Title, but did he have to point out that it’s worthless in general?

US Title: David Flair vs. Chris Benoit

Maybe this can make me feel better. Heenan’s tongue is falling out of his mouth over Torrie’s outfit. Little Naitch is ejected as referee and Nick Patrick will be taking over. Isn’t he almost just as corrupt? Flair immediately bails to the floor and tries to leave, only to be thrown back in by Malenko and Saturn. Douglas was there too but he was too busy reminding us of how great he was in ECW to actually help.

David bails again but is surrounded on the floor. A snap suplex sends the champ flying and Benoit slaps him a few times. Benoit is just toying with him here. Kanyon tries to do a hilarious looking run in (the look on his face was priceless as he looked like he was trying to save a baby from a burning building) but gets stopped by Saturn, allowing Benoit to drop the Swan Dive for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it’s clearly not about the wrestling but they did exactly what they were supposed to out there. Benoit FINALLY wins a singles title and gives David exactly what he deserves. Granted it’s about three months too late for it to have the impact they were going for but at least it finally happened.

Page comes in and Rock Bottoms Benoit but thankfully the Revolution runs in for the save before Page can ruin the moment. Benoit issues a challenge for Saturday in a No DQ match.

Nitro Girls.

Here’s Savage to reveal who is going to guard George on Saturday, who also drove the Hummer. Gene introduces George as being with him but Savage is alone. After a quick President plug, he promises to kill Rodman on Saturday. Gene gets to the point by asking about the Hummer driver…..and Savage ignores him. One more line about Saturday and we’re done. As I ask myself every week, why do I even bother watching Thunder if they’re going to tease stuff like this and then never follow up?

Chris Adams/Dave Taylor vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rey Mysterio Jr.

It’s Eddie and Taylor to get things going, but first they have to see who the fans are behind. The stalling continues as we’re nearly two minutes into the match with barely any contact. Taylor actually snaps off a headscissors and dropkick to send Eddie to the floor, drawing some solid booing. You would have thought Eddie would start that way but instead he headscissors Taylor down to take over.

Off to Rey, who is in an orange prison uniform because for some reason in the 90s, that was considered cool. Adams runs him over with a shoulder and a powerslam gets two. He misses a top rope splash though and Rey hits a Lionsault, on the same night that Chris Jericho was debuting on Monday Night Raw. Adams pops back up with that sweet superkick of his for two before catapulting him into the wrong corner.

Dave finally charges into a boot in the corner and the prison enthusiast rolls over for the hot tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie dives through the ropes to take out Taylor. Adams is all alone, setting up a Mysterio top rope hurricanrana, followed by the Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. What is with this show tonight? They’ve been nailing the wrestling all night with everyone clicking in the ring. Mysterio and Guerrero being a good tag team isn’t a surprise given how much they’ve worked together in the past. Adams and Taylor were fine in this role as two guys that can work well with anyone. If this was what Nitro was like until a big main event, I’d have far fewer complaints.

Speaking of complaints, cue the Dead Pool to jump Mysterio and Guerrero, only to have Kidman make the save. Six man on Saturday it seems.

Gene brings out the Rednecks, who imply they were with the Dixie Chicks and Shania Twain last night. Apparently they were scheduled to perform Good Old Boys live but Chad Brock has replaced them. Seriously, this is the best thing they can come up with? Ignore the fact that the fans booed Brock’s name in general but cheered when Hennig promised to beat him up. Why do I have a feeling this was translated as “See??? THE FANS RESPONDED TO HIS NAME! MORE CELEBRITIES!”

Kidman vs. Disco Inferno

Over halfway through the show, Tony sends out get well wishes to Scott Hudson. Gee that’s nice of him. Did we ever get a reason why Tony was gone in the first place though? Kidman starts fast with a dropkick and the slingshot headscissors, potentially causing lethal hair damage. Disco pops back up and throws him over the top before grabbing a Russian legsweep back inside.

The chinlock is broken in about five seconds and Kidman nails a quick clothesline. Disco continues his hot pace (maybe he has a fever?) with a swinging neckbreaker and a hot (I’ve got something here!) shot for two. Kidman comes back with a Sky High, which is a move I really would like to see someone use as a finisher full time. And I mean someone that matters, not Titus O’Neil.

Kidman ducks his head though and eats the AWESOME jumping piledriver. I know he was a comedy guy but he always had one of the best piledrivers I’ve ever seen. It’s only good for two though so, in another recurring theme tonight, he tries it again, only to have Kidman faceplant him. The Shooting Star is ready but Vampiro runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. Disco looked great here and continues to be one of the most underrated WCW guys in the ring. Vampiro coming in makes sense and keeps setting up their match on Saturday, though they could have spaced the matches out better on the card. By having them back to back, it runs the risk of overloading people on one feud, and you know there’s a big crowd to see wrestling clowns.

Vampiro plants Kidman with a super Nail in the Coffin. I’m not a Vampiro fan but that looked GREAT, especially Kidman’s head flying up after impact and falling back onto the mat. Disco actually tries to make the save but eats a superkick, drawing out Eddie and Rey for the real save. Disco offers Rey a handshake but Rey is a hugger, sending Disco running away in fear. If a small man in a prison uniform tried to hug me, I’d be a bit nervous too.

The announcers chat about Saturday’s main event.

Scott Norton vs. Buff Bagwell

Vicious runs Delicious over to start and shoulders him to the floor. A clothesline misses though and Buff hits some dropkicks (clearly inspired by his match with Riggs on Thursday) to knock Norton outside. Back in and Bagwell actually uses a dragon screw leg whip. Well that’s some psychology at least.

Norton shrugs it off though and hits his shoulder breaker as we see Cat putting on the red shoes up on the ramp. Bagwell fights out of a neck crank and a cross body actually works. Cue Cat to distract the referee so Onoo can nail Bagwell with the briefcase, giving Norton two. That’s enough to make Miller call his Mama, or come into the ring for a DQ. Ignore the lack of actual contact of course.

Rating: D. Well the good match streak had to die somewhere. This was about as bad as you would have expected as Bagwell just isn’t there in the ring. It makes sense that he was great as a tag guy because he can talk well enough to get on people’s nerves and then hit the Blockbuster for a good looking finish.

Speaking of the Blockbuster, Onoo takes one as Norton chases Cat to the back.

Now for the REAL main event in any event in the country (except whatever the Rosemont Horizon was called at this point because they’re smart enough not to have this nonsense over in that company), here’s…..A SINGER THAT DOESN’T EVEN GET AN INTRODUCTION! Yeah we come back from a break and the song is starting. You know those musical acts that are said to not need an introduction anywhere in the world but for some reason they’re introduced anyway? As in like Elvis, the Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen etc? Well apparently Chad Brock is important enough to not actually introduce whatsoever.

He sings, people don’t care, Hennig comes out and jaws with him, the Rednecks and the Revolution come out for a staredown, I’ll never got those seven minutes of my life back.

As if that’s not enough, KISS is coming in two weeks.

Nitro Girls. They haven’t been around as much lately. You know who has been though? Chad Brock.

Kanyon vs. Booker T.

For history’s sake, the Millennium Clock ended right about now. All respective partners are out here with them. It’s Booker in control to start with a back elbow to knock Kanyon to the floor so Stevie can get in some cheap shots of his own. He doesn’t have this whole face thing down yet.

Back in and Kanyon extinguishes half of the Heat with a knee to the ribs and we hit the chinlock. Booker fights up with the usual as they’re clearly flying through this. The barrage of kicks set up the 110th Street Slam but Kanyon pulls the referee in front of a clothesline. The rest of the Triad stops Stevie, allowing Kanyon to nail Booker with the belt, setting up the Flatliner for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match went so fast that there was only so much they could do out there. I’ll let you make your own complaint about Brock taking up their time. This was little more than another way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Saturday, which is about all you can do for a match like that. I’ve seen worse though.

Here’s Rodman to Voodoo Child, so maybe we’ll find out who was driving the Hummer here. Rodman says that this Saturday, George is going to learn that she’s his BEEP. You mean the woman that Rodman, in theory the face in this feud, as in the guy that has kidnapped George and attacked from behind, kidnapped and may have raped? Savage runs out and Rodman, your hero and mine, runs away in fear.

Sting/Goldberg/Hollywood Hogan vs. Rick Steiner/Sid Vicious/Kevin Nash

Nash’s team comes out to the Wolfpack theme but Nash has a Black and White logo on his shirt. I’M SO CONFUSED! Remember that if Nash’s team loses, his career is on the line Saturday. Goldberg comes out to Crush Em, which I like but it doesn’t have the same impact as his old music.

Now we get the big, famous moment here though as Hogan returns to the red and yellow for the first time in over three years. Tony loses his mind as you would expect him to. To their credit, the fans go NUTS in one of the final legitimate shows of emotion you’ll ever find in WCW. I take no shame in admitting that it gave me a big smile too as I grew up a Hulkamaniac and he belongs in the red and yellow. Also, has there ever been a better three man face team in WCW?

Hogan and Steiner get things going and the worthless champion is shoved down. The big boot connects about a minute in and even Heenan is fired up to see Hogan. Some more right hands drop Steiner and the giants take punches of their own. Hogan beats up all three villains on his own and they take a breather on the floor. With Hogan dominating, the fans chant for Goldberg. You know, the guy in a match with someone that has nothing to put up on Saturday.

Goldberg gets the tag and the pop of the night as Nash comes in to face him. Nash hammers away but eats a superkick and suplex as the fans get even louder. You can see Hogan saying “Yeah they popped louder for me brother. I heard them chanting HO-GAN too.” Sid walks into a powerslam and it’s off to Sting, who seems almost out of his league for once. He lays Sid on the top rope for the Stinger Splash but the top rope version gets two to stop the crowd dead.

The referee gets in the way of Nash’s Snake Eyes as someone has exposed the buckle. That earns him a ref bump and Sting hits a pair of Stinger Splashes into the exposed buckle and a third into a more modest buckle. Steiner comes in with a chair but there’s the spear. Hogan takes the chair and cleans house, including knocking Nash willy. Another referee comes out to say Nash is out for the win, putting his career on the line Saturday.

Rating: B-. It’s a very fun match and Hogan coming back in the red and yellow is a big moment. We had a top level WCW face team against the three top heels (since Flair has disappeared) and the crowd went nuts. That brings me to my one big issue with the match: wouldn’t this have made more sense next week?

Next week’s main event would be Hogan vs. Sid for the title, so couldn’t they have swapped that to this week and had the six man after the PPV? With this, whatever they do on Saturday is going to feel like a letdown from this and you get Hogan putting on the red and yellow again after he defeats his “biggest challenge” (work with me here) thanks to the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This took away the drama because you know Hulk Hogan isn’t losing to Nash in this kind of a match. Still though, good moment and a really fun main event.

Overall Rating: B-. Easily the best Nitro in months, but this company is clearly running on borrowed time. The main event scene is dying for some fresh blood and putting Hogan in the old colors is only going to keep him going for so long. Benoit getting the title is a bright spot and at least a sign of hope, but I’m still stuck on that TV Title line. It’s going to take some time to get that back to credibility and Rick Steiner holding it isn’t going to help that. Midcard title problems aside, this show was solid action (mostly) in front of a red hot crowd. They still need to cut back to two hours, but not being horrible is a good start.

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Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1989: Prelude To An Explosion

Royal Rumble 1989
Date: January 15, 1989
Location: The Summit, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 19,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

This is the first PPV version of the show and things have changed a lot. Tonight, everyone is in the match and they’re focusing more on the idea of every man being for himself. The match wouldn’t be worth anything for a few more years but things should be a little bit stronger tonight as they have a better idea what they’re doing. Let’s get to it.

We start off with a listing of presumably everyone in the Rumble tonight. If not then it’s at least most of them.

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

2/3 falls here. Anvil vs. Bravo gets things going and they collide a few times with no one going anywhere. Both guys miss elbows and it’s off to Duggan for a BIG reaction. Ray Rougeau comes in and is immediately slammed down and hit by a knee drop. Hart comes in to a small but audible reaction and gets two each off a small package and a sunset flip. Jacques comes in and things break down a bit with all three heels being caught in one corner where Anvil drives shoulders into them, crushing Ray against the corner under two other guys.

Ray FINALLY gets something in by low bridging Bret to send him to the floor. At the end of the day, when you need someone to sell something you call on Bret. Dino’s side suplex puts Bret down and The Rougeau Bomb gets the first fall. Bret and Ray start things off in the second fall with Hart in big trouble. Jacques comes in and sends Bret into the corner for the traditional chest first bump in the corner which gives Dino two.

Bravo puts on a bear hug for a bit before it’s back to Jacques. A sunset flip gives Bret a quick breather but he’s immediately put in a camel clutch. Anvil makes the save but as he’s being put back in the corner, Ray comes in and puts the same hold back on. That’s good stuff there. The heels take turns working over Bret until Jacques puts on a Boston Crab. Gorilla wants Duggan or Neidhart to come in and break the hold up, because you’ve got five seconds. I love the hypocrisy you would get from him at times.

Bret breaks the hold and tags in Anvil but the referee didn’t see it. That’s such a basic spot but you don’t see it much anymore. Ray puts on an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Jacques for the exact same hold. Bret FINALLY hits an atomic drop to break up the momentum and there’s the white hot tag to Duggan. Anvil hits a slingshot shoulder on Ray and a Duggan elbow drop ties the match up at a fall apiece.

Duggan pounds on Ray to start before going to the wrong corner to try to beat up both guys. Bravo hammers away a bit but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle for no effect at all. Duggan gets punched over into the corner and there’s the tag to Hart. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits Bravo with the board to give Hart the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but Duggan’s reactions are amazing. The guy was probably the third most over guy in the company at this point, which is covering a lot of ground given how over some of the guys were in 1989. This was fine for an opener but the ending was never quite in doubt, which is ok.

We get a clip of some people pulling their numbers earlier. DiBiase isn’t thrilled at all and immediately goes to find Slick to work out a deal of some kind. These segments need to come back, if nothing else to try to make us believe the numbers are random. The Bushwhackers are happy with their numbers but they trade anyway. Honky is mad about his number. Bad News says his is good news. Demolition seems annoyed. Jake….you can’t tell emotion from him anyway. The Rockers don’t seem to hate theirs.

It’s time for the Super Posedown, which is exactly that: Ultimate Warrior and Rick Rude posing against each other to further their feud. Warrior is IC Champion here and man alive if this happened on a PPV today the fans would likely riot. Well not riot but boo heavily at least. Heenan actually sucks up to the fans because it’s decided by fan vote. Again, the ending here isn’t exactly in doubt. This goes on WAY too long, as it’s just posing and people booing/cheering depending on who is posing. Rude finally attacks Warrior with a bar and bails. Warrior chases after him and that’s it. This somehow took nearly fifteen minutes.

Womens’ Title: Judy Martin vs. Rockin Robin

Robin is defending and is Jake Roberts’ real life half sister. Sherri is in the ring and wants the title shot at the winner of this. Martin misses a charge and Sherri sits in on commentary. They pound on each other and it’s clear that they’re not incredibly skilled in the ring. Martin slams her down and blocks a sunset flip with a punch to the head. Robin puts on a Boston Crab as this is going nowhere.

Martin blocks an O’Connor Roll as Sherri complains about not getting a rematch yet. Gorilla talks about the process you have to go through to get a rematch, which is a nice sounding idea when you think about all the automatic title rematches you get today. Imagine that: EARNING a title match. Something resembling a DDT gets two on Martin but Robin misses an elbow drop. Martin misses one also but a backslide gets two for Judy. Robin kicks her in the face for two and gets the same off a small package. Sherri: “Come on somebody win.” Robin goes to the middle rope, fakes Martin out, and cross bodies her to retain.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but the ending wasn’t bad. The Women’s Title would be retired about 13 months later and wouldn’t be restored until about 1993. At the end of the day, no one cares about womens wrestling other than for how small their outfits are. Robin and Martin aren’t exactly eye candy either, so this didn’t do much for anyone. At least it was short though.

Slick says the Twin Towers (Boss Man and Akeem) are probably winners of the Rumble but denies knowing anything about shenanigans with DiBiase. Sean Mooney has footage (the original Vickie Guerrer) of Slick and DiBiase together and suddenly Slick realizes he misunderstood Mooney the first time. He has no comment though.

Rude runs his mouth a bit about beating Warrior. This must be intermission.

Yep, it’s intermission as we get promos from a few managers, saying their guys are going to win. Nothing to see here but we hear from Fuji (representing the Powers of Pain), Liz (Mega Powers) and Jimmy Hart (Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine). Like I said, nothing to see here.

Jesse is sitting on the throne that will go to either Haku or Race. He thinks he might just run for King because the chair is comfortable.

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Race was King but got hurt and the crown went to Haku. This is his chance to get it back in a one time only return to the ring. Harley shoves over Haku’s throne to start and the brawl is on. You know Race is going to be the brawler in this. Back in and Race pounds away before suplexing Haku down for two. Heenan manages both guys here but Race is kind of the face by default.

They head to the floor again with Race being sent into the post and chopped a few times. Haku sends him back to the floor after a few seconds in the ring as we stall for a few moments. More chops have Race in trouble as Jesse talks about Hogan injuring Race, which is only kind of true. Race no sells a headbutt and gets two off a piledriver. They collide again and Race falls to the floor as Heenan plays both sides, saying he’s for both guys when the other is out of earshot.

Back in and Race punches some more before getting two off a suplex. Haku gets sent to the floor again as it’s pretty clear there’s not much to this match. Race tries to piledrive Haku on the floor but gets backdropped as is the usual. A second attempt at a piledriver works but not incredibly well. Back in and a clothesline puts Haku down for two but Haku comes back and misses a top rope headbutt. Race misses a headbutt of his own and charges into the superkick from Haku (looked GREAT) for the pin to keep the crown in Tonga or wherever he’s from.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible and the ending kick looked awesome, but other than that there wasn’t much to see here. Race was clearly old and banged up and he didn’t have a lot to work with in the form of Haku. The crown was mostly a minor title that was only somewhat official. Nothing to see here, but no one cares about anything but the Rumble tonight anyway.

Time for more Rumble promos, with Beefcake, Greg Valentine (both of whom say they just need their fists), the Powers of Pain (Fuji does the talking for them), Big John Studd (freshly back in the company), Mr. Perfect (pretty new at this point) and Savage (insane of course).

DiBiase is much happier about his number now.

Heenan says the Family (Brainbusters and Andre) is ready and Andre says he’ll thrown them out if he has to. Arn whispers to Tully when Andre isn’t looking because Arn Anderson is more awesome than you.

Hogan gives his usual promo with the focus on Boss Man and Akeem this time.

Royal Rumble

The entrants are every two minutes, allegedly. #1 is Ax and #2 is Smash, beginning a tradition of having partners fight at the beginning of these matches. They immediately pound on each other and amazingly enough, they actually sell the offense. It’s a bunch of clotheslines and punches, but the key to Demolition has always been how HARD they hit each other, which is what you get a lot of here. In at #3 is Andre, which gives us one heck of a handicap match.

Demolition immediately hits a double clothesline on Andre and start demolishing him to a BIG pop. Andre is way past being past his prime here but this is still cool to see. Here’s Mr. Perfect at #4 and he strolls down the aisle, which is pretty wise for him. Andre starts fighting Demolition off and for some reason this turns into a tag match. Andre easily throws out Smash, resulting in a 2-1 attack on Andre.

The Giant fights them off and Perfect sells a headbutt as only Mr. Perfect can. Here’s Ronnie Garvin at #5 and they get Andre tied up in the ropes. The Giant breaks free and beats up Ax while Garvin and Hennig fight a bit. Andre shifts over to beat up Perfect, giving us some more awesome overselling. Greg Valentine is in at #6 to make it 4-1 against Andre. AGAIN Andre is all like BRING IT ON and knocks them away, eliminating Garvin in the process.

Andre chokes Valentine in the corner while Ax and Perfect continue their rather uninteresting fight. Andre starts choking Ax and the look on his face is eerie. Jake Roberts is #7 and Andre immediately pounds him down. Nothing of note happens for two minutes so here’s Ron Bass at #8 as Jake gets eliminated by Andre. Shawn Michaels is in at #9, giving us Ax, Perfect, Andre, Bass, Valentine and Michaels. As I type that, Perfect knocks out Ax.

Perfect throws Shawn over the top rope but some skinning the cat brings him back in. Shawn dropkicks Perfect to the apron as we get into a sell-off. #10 is Butch who gets a big pop of his own. As Butch gets in, here’s Jake Roberts again with the snake to scare Andre out of the match. The fans look at something, presumably Jake and Andre in the aisle, as things settle down a lot. It’s Honky Tonk Man at #11 as things are in that annoying slow period of most Rumbles.

Tito Santana is in at #12 to finally balance the heel/face ratio out a bit. There’s almost nothing going on here other than the energy burst you get from the new guys coming in. Bass hits a good backdrop on Michaels as Santana barely survives an attack from Valentine. Bad News Brown is #13 and Butch and Santana (there’s a pairing for you) dump Honky. Butch gets beaten up and Shawn goes up top to jump on Bad News and Bass. Marty Jannetty is #14 and the Rockers double dropkick Bass out.

Tito kills Valentine with the forearm and world champion Randy Savage is #15. NOW the place wakes up as he hammers away on Bad News. Perfect and Savage go at it in a match that would have the purists drooling. Speaking of making purists drool, Arn Anderson is #16. Savage dumps Valentine as Shawn fights Arn. Savage….saves Anderson and eliminates Shawn? Now there’s one I didn’t expect. To recap, we’ve got Marty, Anderson, Butch, Brown, Savage, Santana and Perfect in there at the moment. That’s quite the lineup for the most part.

Tully Blanchard makes the lineup even stronger at #17. Just to be clear, that’s two tag teams getting back to back numbers. Gee, what are the odds? The Brainbusters double team Marty as we’re just waiting for Hogan at this point. And here he is at #18. There goes Perfect, giving him the new Iron Man record at just under 28:00. Off camera, Savage and the Busters put Santana out as Hulk beats up Brown. Hogan fights off all three heels as Savage beats on Butch. Nice partner, especially after Hogan saved Savage when he got to the ring.

Here’s Luke at #19 as things slow down again. Butch gets thrown out after a remarkable 18 minutes. Hogan hot shots Blanchard but has to beat up Luke instead of eliminating Tully. After a brief lull, here’s Koko B. Ware at #20. After more of that epic Hulk vs. Luke showdown, Arn goes up top and is immediately slammed down by Hogan. Dude, you’re best friends with RIC FLAIR. Why would you think that’s smart? Hogan dumps Koko and Luke but gets double teamed by the Busters.

Warlord is #20 and Hogan clotheslines both Busters out at the same time. Warlord poses on the apron, gets in, and is clotheslined out in 2 seconds flat, setting a record that would last 20 years. Hogan also dumps Bad News, but it takes out Savage in the process which adds even more fuel to the Mega Powers Exploding in less than a month. Liz comes in to play peacemaker and the Powers shake hands.

Now we get the big showdown of the match as Big Boss Man is #21 and gets to face Hogan one on one. This is when Boss Man weighed like 400lbs and was just freaking fat. Hulk slams Boss Man down and pounds away in the corner but falls victim to a splash. A piledriver puts Hulk down and Boss Man stands tall. Gorilla says Hogan has been out there for half an hour (it’s been about 8 or 9 minutes) and Jesse is hilarious in freaking out.

To give us the third team back to back in this Rumble, #22 is Akeem. Hogan rams them together and slams Akeem but the numbers catch up with Hogan. After a brief comeback, a double splash crushes Hogan and he’s easily tossed. Hogan, ever the jerk, pulls Boss Man out and beats on him, which is apparently an elimination. Beefcake is #23, which means we just missed what could have been a good house show tag match.

Hogan and Boss Man brawl to the back as we get to the pretty dull third act of the Rumble. Red Rooster is #24 and helps double team Akeem a bit. They try to dump Akeem but Barbarian comes in at #25 and breaks it up. Gorilla: “That was kind of stupid.” Taylor and Akeem pair off, as do Barbarian and Beefcake and the heels take over. Akeem crushes the Rooster (Terry Taylor in case you’re some young kid) and here’s Big John Studd at #27.

Nothing of note happens there so here’s Hercules at #28. Again nothing happens so Rick Martel is #29. He goes right for Akeem but Studd shoves him away because Akeem is his big piece of chicken tonight. DiBiase is of course #30, giving us DiBiase, Akeem, Hercules, Beefcake, Studd, Barbarian, Rooster and Martel. Jesse and Gorilla have a debate about what a manager is as DiBiase throws out the Rooster to get us down to seven.

DiBiase and Barbarian team up to put out Hercules and Beefcake, leaving us with five. This last part isn’t quite death for the match but it’s certainly a bad sickness. Martel puts out the Barbarian to give us a final four. Akeem misses a splash on Martel in the corner and Rick fires off some dropkicks to no avail.

A cross body is caught and Akeem dumps Martel to get us down to Studd, Akeem and DiBiase. Akeem pounds on Studd as DiBiase gives instructions. Studd pulls Ted in front of a splash and dumps Akeem to get us down to two. DiBiase offers money but Studd shakes a finger at him. Studd actually fires off some suplexes to the shock of Monsoon. The elimination is academic and Studd wins.

Rating: C-. The last third REALLY hurts this. It’s not that it’s bad but after Hogan leaves you could almost hear a pin fall. Ha I made a wrestling joke. Also, John Studd? Really? They’ve got all those guys in there and they pick Studd to win? After Wrestlemania the guy was pretty much gone and I don’t think there was ever a clear reason for Studd winning given, other than they thought he was going to be a big deal. It’s just an odd pick and one that hindsight doesn’t look kindly on. Anyway not a terrible match but the booking hurts it.

Savage reassures himself that he’s still great. You can hear the paranoia and see the heel turn coming if you look hard enough.

Jesse and Gorilla wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D+. I can’t say this was a bad show because nothing on here is truly terrible, but it’s certainly not good either. This is very characteristic of the late 80s as other than Hogan and Savage, the stories were very limited at best. They were trying though and that’s something you can’t fake. Not a terrible show, but it’s nothing more than a moment \for the most part.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation vs. Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus

Original: C+

Redo: C

Rockin’ Robin vs. Judy Martin

Original: C-

Redo: D

King Haku vs. Harley Race

Original: C

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D+

About the same again. That’s interesting compared to what happened with the Survivor Series Redos.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1989/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Wrestler of the Day – December 30: Rock and Roll Express

The next to last entry is one of the most influential tag teams of all time: the Rock and Roll Express.

The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) got started in Memphis in 1983 and got into a huge feud with Lanny Poffo and Randy Savage, who had started an outlaw promotion based out of Lexington, Kentucky and were then brought in to Memphis for a HUGE feud. Here they are on June 25, 1984.

Randy Savage/Lanny Poffo vs. Rock and Roll Express

Gibson and Savage get things going and it’s clear that this is going to be white hot. They trade headlocks until Gibson grabs an armdrag and makes the tag. Morton hiptosses Randy as Poffo comes in for a failed save attempt, sending the brothers out to the floor. We settle down with Poffo flipping head first over the top to face Morton. Poffo tries flipping again but starts jawing with Gibson, allowing Morton to get behind him for a trip, sending the Poffos outside again.

Back in and we get a crisscross but Morton makes a blind tag, allowing Gibson to drop toehold Poffo down. Randy gets knocked off the apron and the fans are getting louder and louder. It’s amazing how precise the Express really is. They start working on Lanny’s leg and even get in a shot on Savage for a nice touch. It’s back to Savage who has to yell at the fans before he gets in.

We hit the stalling again to fulfill the Memphis requirements. Robert finally misses a charge into the corner and Lanny stomps away to take over. Gibson will have none of that though and slides over for a tag so Morton can beat up both brothers. Everything breaks down and the Poffo patriarch Angelo sends Morton into the post to really take over.

Back in and Lanny misses a dropkick in the corner but Savage is right there with a top rope ax handle to keep the Express in trouble. He misses a middle rope elbow (still refining the idea I guess) but Ricky is busted BAD. Ricky Morton starts playing Ricky Morton but avoids a Swanton (in 19 freaking 84!) from Lanny, allowing the hot tag to Gibson. A quick backdrop sends Gibson over the top though and that’s a DQ back in these days.

Rating: B+. This is what a white hot crowd can do for you. The action is hot and fast but the crowd carried it on beyond whatever they were going to be able to do on their own. Poffo and Savage were white hot as heels and they were in there with the biggest face tag team of all time at that point. What more could you possibly ask for?

I don’t usually do this but I have to mention the post match brawl with Savage piledriving Morton through the announcers’ table. In today’s product, this would be the equivalent of Pillmanizing a guy’s neck. Morton was out for the better part of ever and the fans just went SILENT. That was a huge spot in Memphis and one of the more famous moments ever for the Express.

It was off to the NWA soon after this and we’ll start at Starrcade 1985.

World Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff

The Rock N Roll Express are two pretty boys named Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson who could fly around a ring as well as any pair of guys you’re ever going to be lucky enough to see. They’re also challenging here and this is in a cage. I believe you win by pin or submission only. Ricky and Nikita start things off and the fans are already chanting USA. Ricky, a far smaller man, is shoved down by the more powerful Nikita. Morton fires off a quick dropkick and we’re at a standoff.

Nikita pounds Morton down and kicks him in the ribs before bring in Ivan. Ricky starts speeding things up by flying around and hitting a quick cross body. Ivan crotches him on the top rope and it’s time for Morton to play Ricky Morton. For those of you unfamiliar, Morton was so good at being beaten down and making a comeback that the beatdown leading to the hot tag is called Playing Ricky Morton.

Actually scratch that as Robert comes in for a quick rollup and a double chop to the head gets two on Ivan. Robert sends him head first into the cage and Morton does the same. The Express starts doing their double teaming jazz as is their custom. It’s off to Nikita though and there’s the bearhug on Robert. Nikita rams him into the cage back first and does the same with Robert’s head for good measure.

Back to Ivan who is busted open as well. Robert is sent into the cage yet again and an elbow drop gets two for Ivan. Off to Nikita for some biting to the head before Ivan comes in for some slow power offense. Robert rolls away from a legdrop but Nikita comes in for a chinlock. Gibson is busted open as well, which seems to be a requirement tonight.

A kick to the back keeps Gibson down and Ivan gets two. Back to Nikita for some more choking but Ricky makes the save. Don Kernoodle, the Express’ second, starts a USA chant as the referee is knocked down. He can’t make the count on Robert but as he gets back up, Ricky makes a blind tag and rolls up Ivan for the pin and the titles out of nowhere.

Rating: B. Good old fashioned tag match here with the Express getting destroyed until the very end where they won on a pure fluke. The fans were WAY into the Express at this point and Morton would even get a program with Ric Flair. The Russians were a great old school tag team idea with both guys looking like monsters and acting like it as well. Also this was nice to see a change in the usual Express formula with Gibson getting beaten down instead of Morton.

If you’re any kind of a wrestling fan, you’ve heard of the feud between the Rock and Roll Express and the Midnight Express. This is one of the greatest combinations of all time and you could count on them having a great match every time. There they are on a special called Superstars on the Superstation on February 7, 1986.

World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

If this is anything lower than a B+, it’s a failure for these guys. These teams completely revolutionized tag team wrestling and basically invented the tag team formula you see in every major tag match. This is the less famous version of the Midnights with Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey as the challengers. It’s a brawl to start with the Midnights taking over on Gibson but Morton comes back in to take everything to the floor. The fans are NUTS for the Rock N Roll here.

Back in and the champions quickly clean house, sending the Midnights out for a consultation with Jim Cornette. We finally start with Gibson vs. Eaton as things slow down a bit. Gibson blocks a hiptoss and throws Eaton down before hitting a sweet flying headscissors. Off to Morton who punches both Midnights down and works on Bobby’s leg. They head back to the floor with Morton backdropping Eaton onto the concrete before pounding him against the barricade.

Back in and it’s a double tag off to Gibson vs. Condrey. The Rock N Roll takes over on Dennis’ leg with some slingshot splashes and elbows onto the knee for two. Gibson cranks on the leg before Morton comes in, decks Eaton, and cranks on Condrey’s leg as well. Condrey fights up and hits a knee to Ricky’s ribs but hurts his own leg so bad that he hits the mat. I miss selling like that in today’s product.

The champions take turns working on the leg with Ricky coming in off the top with a knee drop on Condrey’s leg. Dennis finally gets over to Eaton without too much resistance and we’re back to even for a bit. Eaton takes him into the corner for some HARD right hands, only to be taken down by a suplex. Back to Gibson whose dropkick is caught in a catapult, sending him face first into a forearm from Condrey. Dennis comes back in as we take a break.

Back with Eaton holding Gibson in a chinlock before it’s off to Condrey for the same hold. Morton gets drawn into the ring, allowing Eaton to drop a top rope knee to Gibson before Condrey puts on the chinlock again. Gibson finally fights up with a knee lift but Condrey rakes the eyes to stop a tag. Back to Eaton who gets two off a neckbreaker and puts on another chinlock.

Robert fights up and gets a quick two off a sunset flip but Condrey punches him back down. The Midnights miss the Rocket Launcher and there’s the hot tag off to Ricky. Everything breaks down and the double dropkick (Rock N Roll’s finisher) hits Eaton but it takes the referee out as well. Cornette brings in the tennis racket and Condrey BLASTS Morton in the back of the head, giving Eaton the pin and the titles. Keep in mind that this is 1986 when titles NEVER changed hands on TV.

Rating: B+. Yeah it’s still awesome. These guys just know how to work together and the crowd was way into this. The matches would get even better when Stan Lane replaced Condrey which says a lot given how good these guys looked here. Solid match here, which is all you would have expected coming in.

Here they are at Starrcade 1986 against another great tag team.

World Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Ole Anderson vs. Rock N Roll Express

The Express is defending and this is inside a cage. You win by pinfall here and have to tag in and out so it’s Robert Gibson vs. Ole to start, but everything breaks down in just a few seconds. Arn winds up in there with Robert and Gibson rams his head into the cage a few times to send Arn over for a tag. Off to Ricky vs. Ole but Ole gets kicked in the face, sending it back to Arn.

Things slow down a bit with Arn being afraid to go after Ricky again. Morton grabs the arm and it’s off to Robert for some arm work. He misses a running knee in the corner though and Arn goes after the leg. Ole comes in to cannonball down onto the leg before it’s back to Arn. Robert kicks him into the cage to counter a figure four, but Ole breaks up the hot tag to Ricky.

Back to Arn again as the leg work continues. It’s odd to see the Andersons working on a leg instead of an arm but it’s a limb nonetheless. Robert FINALLY hits an enziguri for the hot tag off to Morton, but Ole immediately sends him into the cage to stop him cold. Now we get to the arm work and things instantly feel better. Arn comes in to stomp Morton down and it’s back to Ole to whip Ricky shoulder first into the corner.

Off to an armbar as Ricky appears to be busted open. There’s the hammerlock slam from Arn but he makes the eternal mistake of going up top. Much like Flair, Arn has almost never been able to hit his shot off the top and it’s the same here. Morton punches him on the way down but Ole breaks up the tag yet again. A shoulder breaker gets two and Arn wraps the bar arm around the top rope. Ricky comes back with a clothesline and both guys are down.

Ole gets the tag and kicks Ricky in the arm to keep him down as the torment continues. Off to another armbar but Ricky gets in a shot to the ribs and several the head to come back. Arn takes Morton down yet again to prevent a tag before hitting the yet to be named spinebuster for two. Ole comes off the top for a knee into the arm and cranks on another armbar. Ricky is in big trouble here.

Back up and Ole collides with Ricky while running the ropes to put both guys down. Arn breaks up the tag (I’m having deja vu from typing that so many times) but Ricky headbutts him down and…..gets jumped by Ole. Out of nowhere Ricky grabs a small package for two as everything breaks down. Ole picks up Ricky for a slam but Robert dropkicks Ricky’s back and knocks him down onto Ole for the pin to retain out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. I really liked the curve ball they threw us in here by not having the hot tag which the standard tag team formula would suggest there would be. This was Playing Ricky Morton as I mentioned in last year’s show and it was done to perfection. He could take a beating like no one else could and the fans totally bought into it every time. Really good old school tag team match here.

From the 4th of July on the Great American Bash tour in 1987.

World Tag Titles/US Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Rock and Roll Express

This match happened twice on the tour and I think this is in Atlanta. The Rock N Roll Express are the world tag champions and the Midnights are the US Champions and it’s title for title. Gibson vs. Eaton to start us off and there’s no Cornette here which is REALLY weird to see. Off to Stan Lane who doesn’t have much luck either. He gets sent to the floor and now it’s off to Morton.

A Japanese armdrag gets one for Ricky. Lane makes a tag and Eaton can’t get anything going either. This has been all Rock N Roll so far. Back to Morton who gets into a test of strength. I love seeing that from smaller guys. Ricky literally climbs up onto Eaton’s shoulders and drops over the back. I’m not sure what the point of that was but it looks cool.

Sweet rana gets two for Morton and it’s back to Gibson. A rana misses there and Lane cheats to save Eaton so that the Midnights can take over. I’m not sure what to make of Gibson being the one beaten down but it’s certainly happening. The Midnights beat down Gibson as only the Midnights can do even though they never really do since it’s always Morton getting beaten down but who cares. Hot tag brings in Morton (that may never be said again) and house is cleaned. A double dropkick gets two on Lane and everything breaks down. Bubba comes in with a Bubba Slam and it’s a DQ.

Rating: B-. This is one of those matches that is always good and this is no exception. They know how to have great tag matches and this is something that you flat out did not see back in the day. The Rockers claim to have introduced this style but if they did then they never watched the NWA because these guys were doing it years before that. Good match, bad ending.

Let’s throw in a gimmick at Starrcade 1987.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another Skywalkers (scaffold) match which is an odd choice for these guys. These two teams redefined tag team wrestling with their incredible series of matches, so the company decides to put them in a match with no wrestling involved in it at all? The Midnights are the now Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane and they’re the US Tag Team Champions but this is non-title. They also have Cornette and Bubba with them.

Both teams are skeptical to go up but after over a minute and a half of waiting, everyone goes up top. Actually scratch that as Bubba pulls Morton down as he’s climbing and spikes him down onto the mat to give the Midnights a two on one advantage. Bubba tries to climb up as well but Morton gets up and steals Cornette’s tennis racket. A few shots to the back keeps Bubba down and Morton climbs up, still holding the racket. Eaton gets whacked a few times as well as the fighting really gets going.

Morton knocks Eaton around with the racket as Gibson pounds on Lane on the other end of the scaffold. Eaton busts out his trusty powder to blind Ricky and now Gibson is double teamed. Ricky gets the tennis racket back to stagger Bobby with as all four guys head back to the ends of the scaffold. Eaton drops the racket to the mat as Lane climbs under the scaffold.

Cornette throws the racket up to Eaton again so he can pound on Robert’s back. Morton heads under the scaffold to get at Stan, eventually kicking him down to the mat. Eaton and Gibson are up top still though until Ricky goes up too. The Rock N Roll finally knocks him down over the edge and down to the mat for the win. I know the ending sounds sudden but there really isn’t much else to it than that.

Rating: D+. Just like last year, what can you really expect from a match like this? They can’t do much without risking a very serious injury but you don’t want the fans to be bored out of their minds either. These guys had some of the best tag team matches ever when they were on the ground floor and I have no idea why they were given this gimmick of all things.

The Express would head to the AWA for a little while, including this match at SuperClash III.

Jimmy Golden/Robert Fuller vs. Rock N Roll Express

CWA vs. AWA here I think. Golden is Bunkhouse Buck and Fuller is Colonel Robert Parker. Why in the world this is going on last is beyond me. There’s a different announcer here too for some reason. I really didn’t want to see Parker in trunks. Golden and Morton start us off. Technical stuff to start and the Express clean the ring out quickly. Back to the starters as the crowd is gone after the real main event.

They fight over a front chancery as the fans chant boring. Morton gets a nice counter into a suplex kind of move as we get heel miscommunication. Off to Fuller and Gibson for a crisscross. It’s pretty clear Fuller isn’t the most sound wrestler in the world. Oddly enough Gibson is portraying Morton here and Golden throws on a bearhug. Double team abdominal stretch goes on after some cheating by the not Express’ manager. Hot tag brings in Morton to clean house and the double dropkick takes down Golden. We go to the floor and it’s thrown out.

Rating: C-. Just a tag match here with a bad ending. I have no idea what the point of having this on here to end the show was, especially when it’s just another match. Golden and Fuller were nothing of note and would be in WCW a few years later. The Express would go on to the indies forever and have some more time in WCW.

Back to WCW with this match at WrestleWar 1990.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

This is another one of those matches where the starting rating rises up from a C to a B. These guys feuded for probably 6 years on and off and had more classics than you could shake a stick at. Why you would want to shake a stick at it is beyond me but you get the idea. Gibson vs. Stan gets us going. Lane dives to the mat and they counter each other a lot. Gibson counters a counter and drops a fist onto Lane’s head to take over.

Cornette gets in an argument with Nick Patrick and wants to box him. This is an old spot they did which always gets a big reaction. Cornette is dispatched quickly and it’s Morton vs. Lane now. The fans are into this too. Bobby gets knocked to the floor and Lane shoves him down as well. We never got a big singles match between those two and I think that’s for the best.

Lane vs. Bobby now and they speed things up. Nothing seems to be coming out of the shove from a few moments ago. Off to a test of strength and Morton is losing. He climbs up Bobby, stands on his shoulders, and jumps onto Lane in the corner. Gibson runs off Lane and the Midnights are knocked to the floor. Cornette tries to get in and falls over the top rope so Gibson knocks back down. Both Midnights are double clotheslined to the floor as well and it’s been one sided for about the first eight minutes.

Back in now and it’s Gibson vs. Lane but Lane still can’t get anything going. Morton comes in for a double elbow but gets sent outside. Never mind again as Lane goes into the post. Now it’s Eaton again and it’s a slugout. Terry gets into this and they both tumble to the floor. Outside Lane slams Morton and the Midnights take over.

Now we get into a much more traditional tag match which was popularized if not perfected by these teams, making this a fun match. Morton is sent to the floor and rammed into various metal objects. He manages a sunset flip but Cornette grabs the referee. Morton tries an O’Connor Roll but Lane makes a blind tag and hooks a neckbreaker for two. Eaton goes after the arm with a single arm DDT and into a hammerlock.

Lane comes in for a quick reverse chinlock before bringing in Eaton for a top rope elbow. Back to the arm by Lane. Man the Midnights tag in fast. Eaton works on the arm again with the hammerlock and the Midnights set for the Rocket Launcher. It hits the knees though and here’s Gibson. Everything breaks down but he’s still 2-1. The Midnights load up the Flapjack but Gibson rolls through for the pin on Lane.

Rating: B+. Oh come on it’s the Midnights vs. Rock N Roll. There’s practically no way that this can be screwed up. It’s a great speed match and they know each other so well that they’re going to have a good match through familiarity if nothing else. Fun stuff here but somehow not their best work together.

Time for a change of pace at Capital Combat in June 1990.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Freebirds

The Freebirds are Garvin and Hayes here and this is a Corporal Punishment match, which means a strap match. They can beat on each other with them or whatever they like but aren’t attached. We get Badstreet USA so this is already a success. The Birds get pyro which was a rare thing back then. I love how in recapping the night, Ross talks about Robocop and Sting and the US Tag Title match in the same manner, as if they were the same amount of time.

The straps are attached to the ring posts. Why? No reason is given but whatever. We finally get to the straps as the Express are dominating. Ross of course talks about the woodshed. That’s some weird obsession he has. This is kind of disjointed as it’s a segment and then a whipping and then we repeat. We get a whip duel between Gibson and Hayes which is kind of cool.

Ross says one of his favorite teams is the Steiners. Not sure what that has to do with this match but whatever. The heels take over and Ricky Morton plays Ricky Morton. Playing Ricky Morton means getting the living tar pounded out of you for a LONG time before making the hot tag. It was designed and more or less invented in the Express vs. Express matches and has been a staple of tag team wrestling ever since.

If you ever hear of someone playing Ricky Morton, it’s a guy in a tag match, 99% of the time a face, being beaten down really badly. The straps are kind of awesome actually as at least they make a really loud sound so you can tell it’s painful. That’s better than nothing at least. Garvin goes up and that completely fails which you would think would set up the hot tag to Gibson.

Nope not yet which isn’t incredibly surprising. In a nice idea, Morton goes to the wrong corner. That’s not bad at all. There’s your hot tag to not a ton of heat actually. Ross calls it The Sleep again. That’s just weird to hear. It really is. Hayes gets his DDT but doesn’t cover. This allows Morton, the illegal man, to come off the top with a sunset flip for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: B. Not as good as the previous one, but then again the Freebirds aren’t as good as Zenk and Pillman in the ring. This came off fine although the straps weren’t used as much as I would have liked them to but I can live with that. This was fine for what it was though and was a very good use of nearly twenty minutes. The Express was past its prime at this point, but they still make fine tag matches. The ending made up for a weaker match here, which is fine as it’s the last thing you see.

We’ll go back to the guaranteed layup at Clash of the Champions XI.

US Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Midnight Express

The Midnights are defending as this legendary feud continues. Both teams get quick promos saying they’ll win with an identical train in the background. The image is inverted for the Midnights though, meaning they’re from the other side of the tracks. It’s probably unintentional but it’s a nice touch if it was on purpose. Eaton and Gibson get things going as the announcers emphasize how even these teams are.

The fans chant for the Rock and Roll and Gibson takes over with a hiptoss and flying headscissors. Lane comes in off the tag and scores with a few kicks, only to be taken down by an enziguri from Gibson. Off to Morton as they run the ropes to speed things up. Lane misses a charge in the corner and gets backdropped down, leaving us at a stalemate. Back to Eaton who walks into a dropkick and hurricanrana, sending him into the corner for some consultation with Cornette and Lane.

Stan comes in again but gets caught in a Gibson armbar. Gibson sends him into the corner before it’s back to Morton for an armbar. Morton rolls Stan up in the corner for two as everything breaks down. Ricky is sent to the floor and Gibson gets caught in a double flapjack to give the champions their first control. It only lasts a few seconds though as Morton comes back in for a double rollup to change momentum right back.

Things settle down and Bobby goes up to pull Morton down by the hair. The Midnights double team for a few seconds but Ricky quickly runs over and makes the tag off to Gibson. Everything breaks down again and it’s Robert working on Stan’s leg in the ring. Lane kicks away though and the Rock N Roll collide, allowing Bobby to come off the top with an ax handle to give Stan two. The double dropkick drops Eaton but Lane pulls the referee out for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was picking up in a hurry near the ending but the first part of it didn’t do much. They needed about five more minutes here to really get something going but those are the perils of televised wrestling. It’s almost impossible to screw up this match though and that’s a valuable asset to have on a card.

Here they are against a different kind of team at the Great American Bash 1990.

Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Doom

This is more or less the final run for the RNR and they’re challenging here. Simmons vs. Gibson starts us off. JR talks about Gibson signing in the ring, as in sign language. Gibson speeds things up and gets a rollup for one, which makes Simmons tag in Reed. An elbow puts Butch back into the corner and here’s Ricky. Reed knocks Morton down so the Express double teams him down.

The idea of the match here is very simple: when the Express can double team they win, but when it’s one on one they don’t have much luck. Reed knocks both of them to the floor but it’s Gibson taking the worst of it. Back in a sunset flip gets two for Robert as does a slam for Reed. Morton comes in to speed things up and gets two with an O’Connor Roll on Butch. They speed the clock up to say that it’s been ten minutes.

Reed works over Morton with pure power and brings in Simmons. Morton gets a dropkick but Reed comes in to keep things at the status quo. Reed comes in and slows things back down again, which makes perfect sense for Doom. Gibson has had enough and comes in for some cheating but it doesn’t do enough to get him in legally. Back to Simmons as Morton takes a beating like only Ricky Morton can do.

Reed gets two off a big right hand and it’s time for more chinlocking. Doom does their cheating by throwing Morton over the top while the other has the referee distracted. Shoulder block gets two for Ron. Morton slugs it out with Reed which goes horribly and results in a powerslam for two. Morton ducks another shoulder and there’s the hot tag to Gibson. He cleans house and a sunset flip gets no count on Ron as everything breaks down. An enziguri sends Ron into Teddy to bring him inside. Gibson beats him up which is enough of a distraction for Reed to come off the top and kill Gibson with a shoulder to retain.

Rating: B. Doom was awesome at this point and would soon turn face and fight the Horsemen, causing some AWESOME fights. The Express never really went anywhere after this other than to the indies and other companies. Great match though in the traditional formula that the Express perfected long ago.

The team would head to Smoky Mountain Wrestling for a long time and wound up appearing in the main two companies on some co-promotional deals. Here they are at SuperBrawl III.

Smokey Mountain Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Heavenly Bodies

The Bodies are Stan Lane and Tom Pritchard, which makes little sense because Bobby Eaton is with them. I’m kind of glad that they didn’t go with the Midnights here. This one is hard to screw up. I think the Bodies were using the Freebird Rule. Oh ok Eaton is thrown out to a lot of booing. Why in the world are these guys on WCW? I get the history but SMW in WCW? That’s just odd as all goodness. Morton gets a nice hurricanrana to start us out.

They do a cool/funny sequence where Morton has a wrist lock on and keeps swinging Lane around in circles and he can’t catch a tag. The Express is dominating here. Cornette hugging Pritchard is great stuff. Cornette is just awesomeness in a bad suit. Jesse implies Cornette is gay which you have to be a political geek to get. Don’t ask and I won’t tell you about it. The faces haven’t been in trouble yet at all. Cornette gets taken down to a HUGE pop.

The RNRE just standing in the corner is priceless stuff. Cornette finally interferes to break up the hot streak and the tennis racket gets a shot in to draw great heat. We get the eternal question of what is Pritchard a doctor of and Jesse suggests gynecology. That’s just odd to hear on a wrestling show. He’s the doctor of disaster of all things. That’s so indy level I can’t even wrap my mind around it.

The Bodies are the champions here which I completely forgot to mention. This is the same formula that they’ve used for years and it works fine here. Morton gets the tar beaten out of him and finally Gibson comes in for the save. The double dropkick connects but Cornette makes the interfering save. Eaton comes in for the save but it misses and Gibson gets the pin for the titles.

Rating: B-. This was fine. It’s the same thing they did about a million times in SMW so they knew what they were doing. This was all for the live crowd as these teams were more or less legendary in the area. The decision would be reversed later and the Bodies would get the titles back.

And at Survivor Series 1993.

Smokey Mountain Wrestling Tag Titles: Heavenly Bodies vs. Rock N Roll Express

This is part of an agreement the companies had at the time which didn’t quite work that well. The Express (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are the champions and they’re defending against the Bodies (Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray). It’s a brawl to start with the Express being sent to the floor. Gibson is pulled back in but Morton pulls both of the Bodies out to the floor. Ricky follows that up with a suicide dive to take both of them out at the same time.

Things slow down and we start with Gibson vs. Del Ray. Things are going to go very fast in this match and that’s exactly how it starts with Gibson flipping out of the corner and hitting a headscissor takeover before bringing in Morton. Prichard comes in and gets booed louder than all of the Knights in the previous match combined. Morton can’t quite get above Prichard on a leapfrog and he ducks a Del Ray superkick which takes Prichard down instead.

Both Bodies get monkey flipped out of the corner and we get the always dumb looking rowboat spot, which is where all four of the heels’ legs are rotated around by the good guys. Gibson works on Prichard’s leg and the Express take out Del Ray in the corner before Morton works on Prichard’s leg as well. Tom finally gets in a shot and it’s off to Del Ray who is immediately armdragged down.

In a nice move, Gibson blocks the buckle before Morton’s back hits it to prevent the Bodies from getting the advantage. It’s all Express other than the first fifteen seconds or so. The Bodies have a quick huddle on the floor and the fans are bored. It’s Prichard vs. Morton now with the heels taking over for the first time since the beginning. Off to Del Ray who is suplexed down onto Morton for two.

Back to Prichard for some more choking. There wasn’t a tag but that’s why the Bodies are heels. Del Ray hits an Asai Moonsault to the floor and it’s back to Prichard in the ring who hits a powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as this match is turning into an old school tag match of the NWA style. A Trash Compactor (a kind of spinebuster/guillotine legdrop combo) gets two but Del Ray’s powerbomb is countered into a rana for two.

Ricky hooks a small package for another two and Del Ray hits a moonsault press on Morton for ANOTHER two. This is why it’s called Playing Ricky Morton people. The guy was a master at it. A double DDT puts the Bodies down and Morton rolls over to make the tag to Gibson.

Now we get to the point of the match: Prichard throws Morton over the top, which is a DQ in SMW, but this is in the WWF. Gibson gets confused and decked for his confusion as Morton gets beaten down even more. There’s the double dropkick to Prichard but it only gets two. Del Ray comes off the top with a tennis racket (Cornette signature) shot to Gibson for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a strange match as from a technical standpoint it was quite good and in SMW it would have been the main event of a big show, but we’re not in SMW. We’re in the WWF here and these people don’t mean anything. There’s a deep history here of a ton of matches with various gimmicks to them, making this a huge feud. The problem is all we’re told is they’ve been feuding for years. It’s the same issue you have with Japanese wrestlers: just being told how great they are doesn’t mean anything to most fans. We need to see these things, not be told about them.

They would pop up in WCW as jobbers, including this match which could have made a fortune eight years earlier. From Nitro on June 3, 1996.

Rock N Roll Express vs. Ric Flair/Arn Anderson

If this was 1986, this would be able to sell out every arena in the south. Flair and Anderson come out in football…….GOOD FREAKING GRIEF Liz looks good in red leather. Her hotness went WAY up around this time and this is no exception. The audio is messed up here so it sounds like the announcers are about a mile away. Flair teases throwing his jersey to the crowd and then hands it to Liz on the floor. Classic.

Morton and Anderson start us off, despite no one caring about the Express here. WCW’s infinite brilliance continues as they have a countdown clock going in the corner to the second hour and then in the middle of the match pyro and fireworks go off because THE HOUR CHANGED!!! It makes Arn visibly jump. Good thing he was standing by himself and not like, piledriving someone right? For the life of me I never got why that was such a big deal.

Flair vs. Morton now and Morton can’t throw convincing punches at all. Gibson vs. Anderson as I have a feeling we’re in for a long one here. Cross body gets two for Gibson and we’re off to Flair again, who is caught in the figure four rather quickly. Anderson gets caught in one by Morton in a spot we saw very often with these two over the years. Flair gets in the referee’s face and gets shoved to the floor by the striped shirt guy.

After a break the audio is fixed and Morton hits an armdrag to Anderson. Bischoff shows off his ability to tell us what we’re seeing and it’s back to Flair again. Morton hammers away as we talk about the football thing to no end. We actually hear about a WCW charity show in Buffalo. That’s rather awesome. There’s the hammerlock slam by Anderson and it’s arm working time.

Off to Flair and the Horsemen keep their awesome tag work going. Powerslam gets two. The idea here is that Heenan might be managing the Horsemen at the PPV but he won’t say it. Chinlock time which eats up a good while. Morton grabs a sleeper which gets him nowhere. Figure four is reversed for two and a sunset flip gets the same for Morton.

Back to Anderson and Heenan strolls down to ringside to talk to Woman and Liz. And now, back to the match. Morton takes down Anderson with something we don’t see and it’s off to Flair and Gibson. Double dropkick to Flair as Heenan is apparently sitting at Flair’s VIP table. Woman pops up for the distraction and a rake of the eyes, allowing Arn to hit the DDT on Gibson to end this.

Rating: C+. It’s the Rock N Roll Express using the Rock N Roll Express formula. Were you expecting anything different here? Not much to complain about here as it’s nearly 20 minutes of these four. These practice matches are working rather well and this was no exception. Fun stuff here but a bit long for modern wrestling.

And to the WWF for that bizarre NWA invasion angle. From Saturday Night Raw on February 21, 1998.

NWA Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Headbangers

Mosh and Gibson start us off but it’s off to Thrasher quickly. There’s something funny about the Express coming out to the Rockers theme song. Cornette distracts the referee and Morton can cheat to shift the advantage. It’s so weird to see the Express as heels and with Cornette.

Mosh gets beaten down for a bit until he gets a double DDT to break the Express’ momentum. Lukewarm tag to Thrasher who cleans house. Stage Dive (powerbomb/guillotine legdrop combination) gets two as Gibson is thrown over the top so it’s a DQ win for the champions. Totally predictable ending.

Rating: D+. Just a basic match that existed to show that the NWA had different rules. It was pretty clear there was going to be a screwy finish as soon as Kelly talked about there being different rules in the NWA than in the WWF. Not a terrible match but there was nothing of note here at all.

We’ll wrap it up at In Your House XXI as I don’t think there’s a ton of interest in two guys in their 50s touring the indy circuit.

NWA World Tag Team Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. New Midnight Express

The New Midnight Express is comprised of Bombastic Bob (Bob Holly) and Bodacious Bart (Bart Gunn). The original version was managed by Cornette and feuded with the Rock N Roll Express (challengers tonight) for most of the 80s in a feud that revolutionized tag team wrestling. The Rock N Roll Express comes out to the Rockers’ (a WWF tag team) music. Bob and Robert Gibson start things off with Gibson shoulder blocking Bob out to the floor.

Back in and the formerly very fast Rock N Roll Express are just kind of quick here with their signature double leg snap into a rolling double punch to the Midnight on the apron. The fans just do not care here and it’s rather sad to see. Ricky Morton comes in and works on Bob before sending him into Bart, starting an argument between the champions. Bart comes in and puts on an abdominal stretch as I think this is a way to replicate the original feud but it’s just not working at all.

Cornette gets in an argument with the referee and comes into the ring for a boxing match which is an old signature spot of the feud. The referee is ready to go and Cornette runs away to wake up the crowd a bit. Cornette drops back to the floor and trips Morton, allowing Bart to hit a knee to the back, sending Ricky to the floor. The Midnights double team Ricky for two and Bart’s powerslam gets the same.

Bob misses a top rope legdrop though and it’s off to Gibson with no one reacting at all. Everything breaks down with the Rock N Roll in control and hitting their double dropkick on Bart. Gibson has to avoid a Cornette elbow drop but the distraction lets Bart bulldog Gibson down for the pin to retain.

Rating: F. This match wasn’t so much bad as it was pitiful. This was a tag team trying to get back to its old level of glory and just not being able to do it anymore. The match wasn’t horrid, but the idea of the match just didn’t work at all. The NWA angle never worked and had to have been a way to humiliate Cornette instead of help the company at all.

I don’t know what else you want me to say about these guys. The Rock and Roll Express are one of the best and most influential tag teams of all time and you can see so many of their ideas in wrestling today. You can thank them for the face in peril spot and the classic tag team formula which we’ve seen for the last fifteen years minimum. That series they had with the Midnight Express is as good of a pairing as you’ll ever find and it more than holds up today. If you love tag team wrestling…..well you’ve probably seen these guys before. Go watch them again because you’ll learn something new.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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2014 Awards: Angle of the Year

This is a short list and that’s kind of a shame.

I’m keeping this one quick because there just aren’t enough options there.

Sami Zayn’s Road to Redemption worked like a charm with the blowoff making it worth the journey. You could argue this story started back when Sami debuted and started his feud with Cesaro. Over the last few months, Sami has gone back and defeated everyone that has given him a loss before finally capping it off with a title win over NXT Champion Adrian Neville. It’s a classic story and the matches working like a charm made it even better. Yet another reason to love NXT.

Shield breaks up, which ties into a bunch of singles feuds. You had the Shield as perhaps the greatest three man combination ever and there was only one way to get out of that: someone had to turn. In this case it seems to have been the best option, as Rollins turned on his brothers and joined the Authority as the new ace heel. He has since become the top heel in the company and looks ready for the heel push towards the stars. It was a shocking moment and kicked off one of the best set of stories all year.

That leaves us with one option and this really shouldn’t surprise anyone paying attention: Daniel Bryan’s Road to Wrestlemania. Bryan going from the tag team guy to the champ to being screwed over to a Wyatt for a little while to being the people’s choice to the WWE World Heavyweight Champion was one heck of a rollercoaster and the blowoff was in the main event of Wrestlemania. I really don’t think I can give it more praise than that and this might be the easiest winner of the awards all year.




Monday Night Raw – December 29, 2014: Keep Them Apart

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 29, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show of the year and WWE has managed to double book the show. There’s a house show in Virginia tonight, meaning a lot of the roster is going to be there instead of here for Raw. We do however have Cena and Lesnar guaranteed and the potential debut of the Ascension to keep us until the full roster is back to start the new year. Also in some breaking news, Daniel Bryan has a major announcement which could mean his retirement. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Edge’s retirement a little less than four years ago. That was such a shocking moment and actually got to me a little bit. He and Christian are hosting tonight, which should be a lot of fun if they just let those two have fun.

Here are Edge and Christian to open things up. Chimmel (before doing the voice cracking deal) lists off their resumes and it’s hilarious to hear how much more Edge accomplished as a singles guy. Christian thinks we should have this show E&C style, which Edge, who appears to be wearing a Sami Zayn shirt, likes. That means we should have a special edition of the Peep Show, which Edge doesn’t like. Why not have it be the Cutting Edge instead of something that sounds like a perverted idea from the 1920s? Instead it’s going to be a Cutting Edge Peep Show with special guest Seth Rollins.

The fans aren’t thrilled, so Edge makes Rollins vs. Reigns to make them feel better. It’s Christian’s turn now as he makes Rusev vs. Ziggler in a Champion vs. Champion match……and they’ll both be completely sans clothing? Christian: “Maybe just Lana then?” He tries to get the fans back by asking if the fans would like to see Daniel Bryan and I’ll let you guess the reaction. We’ll wrap it up with a five second pose, but here’s Brock Lesnar instead. Of note here, Lawler says that both Edge AND Christian are retired, which I believe is the first official confirmation for Christian.

Heyman says both guys are too damaged to be in the same ring with someone like Lesnar, so Brock won’t hurt either of them. Instead, Heyman thinks Lesnar wants to “penetrate the virgin neck” of John Cena. Cue Cena as the Canadians kind of hide in the corner. Cena isn’t going to knock Lesnar into 2015 so he doesn’t have an excuse at the Rumble. He does have a new year’s resolution to take that title off him at the Rumble. Cena grabs Heyman by the throat but throws a charging Lesnar up for the AA, only for the champ to bail to the floor.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev

Non-title. Ziggler gets in a few cheap shots to start but Rusev nails him in the face to take over. This time the announcers talk about how no one has beaten Rusev, but don’t suggest Ziggler could be the one to beat him. Instead they’re too busy getting in Ziggler buzzwords like “stealing the show”, because getting in buzzwords and catchphrases has replaced the idea of actually calling a match. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and the swinging DDT as we head to a break.

Back with Rusev in control and putting on a side choke instead of having one on already. We get a full screen replay of Ziggler getting catapulted into the corner from the App, which isn’t the worst idea during a chinlock. Dolph fights up and tries a high cross body, only to get caught in the fall away slam. Ziggler escapes that as well and nails a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down. He tries something like the Stinger Splash (which may or may not be a tribute) but has to settle for ducking the superkick and nailing the Fameasser.

It might have injured his knee though, allowing Rusev to throw him by the leg into the corner for a smart move. What isn’t a smart move though is trying a splash when Ziggler is down in the corner. Moves like that just get on my nerves because there is no logical reason to try something like that. A kick (clearly missing) to the knee has Ziggler in trouble and Rusev stomps away in the corner for the DQ at 10:10.

Rating: C. The match was decent enough and the ending was the most logical, as at least Ziggler didn’t get destroyed and then win at the end. I’m still not feeling Ziggler on this massive push that some see, but at least he isn’t jobbing clean on free TV anymore. I’m also glad that they didn’t make this title for title as that would have made the ending even more obvious than what we had here. Ziggler could use a feud too.

Rusev puts Ziggler in the Accolade in the ropes (doesn’t really add anything) until Ryback makes the save.

Time to insult fans who are still buying the pay per views, because telling someone they’re an idiot for giving you $55 is certainly going to make them want to pay you $10 a month right?

Ryback is still in the ring after a break and he has something to say. Ever since he debuted in the WWE as Ryback (his words), there are a lot of things about him that you don’t know about him. He was a guest bell ringer at his first WWE show when he was twelve years old. Then ten years ago he got his start on Tough Enough as the Silverback. We get a clip of Ryback, then known as Ryan Reeves, being eliminated.

After that, he lost his dream job and fell into a deep depression. He didn’t talk to his family for over a year and got a job at some barbecue joint in Louisville, Kentucky with only a stack of Wrestlemania DVDs to get him through his time. Then he read a book called the Secret on being positive. It changed his life and shortly thereafter he got rehired by WWE, leading to him making his redebut as part of the Nexus. We see a clip of the awesome Nexus beatdown that introduced us to the Meat Hook.

Then he broke his ankle and leg in three places in a match in Hawaii and missed a long, long time. This led to the debut of the Ryback character, which leads us to a package on Ryback’s domination. Now he’s here, which brings Ryback to Rusev. This isn’t about the USA vs. Russia. It’s about one big guy beating up another big guy, because Ryback likes to eat big negative people. Then he looks at someone like Rusev and says FEED ME MORE.

Did I mention that half the roster isn’t here tonight and they need to fill in time? I’ll give them this though: I’d much rather have a reason to care about someone like Ryback than some lame comedy match or a bunch of chinlocks. This was a far better use of time than I was expecting so at least it could have been worse.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

The idea here was that Tyson was wearing a Nikki Bella hat last week and Natalya isn’t happy. To continue the annoying run of commentary buzzwords and terms, Cole says a win here could put Natalya in the title hunt. WELL WHAT ELSE HAS SHE BEEN IN FOR WEEKS NOW??? Not that it matters as Natayla kicks Nikki off the apron and into Tyson’s arms, only to have the distraction let Nikki hit the Rack Attack for the pin at 1:05. So much for Natalya’s push. Cole: “Let’s see how things play out on Total Divas this Sunday!”

Naomi comes up to hug Miz in the back, because the producers want to meet with her. She even wishes him luck in the title defense against the Usos.

John Cena came in seventh in some celebrity charity deal that no one has heard of nor cares about.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

This is the TLC rematch due to Miz using the Slammy Award for the DQ. The best thing of this match: JBL dubs Mizdow’s small titles the Subtitles. The Usos aren’t in shirts for a change. Miz hides from Jimmy in the corner to start and of course the fans want Mizdow. They feel each other out a bit until Jimmy sends Miz into the corner for a nice running splash. Off to Jey who eats a chinlock as the announcers, I kid you not, actually talk about the match. Jey goes into slow motion for an uppercut to Miz’s jaw before slapping on an armbar.

An even slower double atomic drop have Miz in trouble but Mizdow comes in to do the same motions. He’s dedicated if nothing else. Both champions go to the floor and the Usos aren’t sure what to think. Jimmy loads up the dive but gets snapped across the top, setting up Miz’s big boot for two. Back from a break with Miz in control on Jey but not willing to tag Mizdow. Jey misses an enziguri but makes the hot tag just seconds later. Now the big dive connects but Jimmy comes up favoring his arm or wrist. I always worry about things like that on those dives.

It doesn’t seem bad, but Miz nails the low DDT for two. Jey and Mizdow are nowhere to be seen and both guys are down. We see Mizdow down on the floor, but for once he isn’t mimicking Miz. There’s the Figure Four on Jimmy but he finally makes the rope. Still no sign of Jey. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into Konnan’s Tequila Sunrise but Mizdow comes in for the save.

It’s Mizdow eating a superkick but Miz grabs a rollup for two. The superkick drops Miz but the Superfly Splash hits Miz’s knees. The Skull Crushing Finale plants Jey for…..two? That’s not a move you see kicked out of that often. Think about it for a second. Almost no one kicks out of that. The hot tag brings in Jimmy for another superkick and a mostly missed double superkick sets up Jimmy’s Superfly Splash to give us new champions at 13:06.

Rating: B-. Well that happened and I’m actually surprised for once. That sequence with the Finale had me checking the match time and my head actually snapping to the side when the three didn’t go down. The sloppiness on the moves at the end brought things down a bit, but this was a genuine surprise and that’s a very nice thing to have on this incredibly predictable show for a change.

Naomi comes out to celebrate and the Usos say they’re going to have a big party with JR’s barbecue and champagne. Jimmy says they played Miz to get where they are here and nothing major happens. Cool surprise here and I’d assume it sets up Usos vs. Ascension.

The announcers hype up Bryan’s announcement and imply he’s retiring.

Video on Shield splitting and the beginnings of Reigns vs. Rollins to set up their match tonight.

Cesaro is in the corner ala Raven for his match but has a mic because he has a few things to get off his chest. 2014 should have been his year. He won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal at Wrestlemania, but now WWE is telling him that he doesn’t connect. That’s true, because he delivers instead of connect. And who does he not connect with? The WWE Universe? He doesn’t care about connecting with them, because he doesn’t care about anything except what happens in this ring. No one in WWE can hold a candle to him inside this ring, and if anyone back there doubts him, come out here and make his day.

Cesaro vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett: “It’s me it’s me it’s BNB!” He has some bad news for Cesaro: Cesaro may not care about caring with the fans, but this Bull Hammer is connecting with his head. Cesaro nails him in the face to start and stomps Barrett down in the corner. Barrett looks leaner here and seems to be playing to the crowd like a face for the first time. He knocks Cesaro to the floor but gets dropped face first onto the barricade.

Back in and a very nice top rope ax handle drops Barrett, but the announcers are of course ripping on Cesaro for slipping up and saying no one can touch him inside “these four ropes”. You know, because…..well you get the idea by now. Cesaro hits a great looking German suplex but Barrett kicks him in the side of the head for two. The pumphandle slam is countered into the Cesaro Swing but he pops up with the Bull Hammer for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: C. Well so much for Cesaro’s awesome heel promo. I’m sure there was NO ONE else to have out there for a chat before jobbing to Barrett right? As usual it’s like WWE has no idea how to set up something other than by having someone lose. Not that it matters of course as the commentators CAN’T FREAKING SHUT UP with their stupid jokes and jabs because Heaven forbid someone say one thing wrong. Keep in mind that this is MICHAEL COLE mocking people for slipping up on lines and you’ll see why this is so stupid.

Harper is in the dark again and says people like him are thrown aside like trash. He is a product of our environment and a nightmare come to life. Sweet dreams.

Jack Swagger vs. Luke Harper

Harper knocks him into the corner to start and cranks on Jack’s head a bit. A nice dropkick gets two and we hit the Gator Roll. Jack is able to take it outside though and nails a clothesline as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock and kicking Jack hard enough that JBL stops mocking Cole and calls the match. We hit another chinlock as the filler for this show continues.

Swagger fights up and hits the usual to set up the Patriot Lock. You know Luke isn’t tapping to that though so it’s a superkick for two. Harper touches the sides of his own head like he’s hearing voices for a bizarre bit that totally fits him. The Patriot Lock gets the same result but the Vader Bomb hits knees. Harper’s discus lariat (JBL: “Clothesline From Smell!”) is enough for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: C-. This is exactly the kind of thing I’d like to see more often: two guys have a match, one guy wins with his finisher, no interference etc. Harper got a win over a guy that means something (work with me here) and does it without Wyatt or any help. This raises his stock and reenforces Swagger’s status as a jobber to the stars. It wasn’t a great match or anything, but it just needed to be Harper getting a win and that’s what we got.

We recap the opening segment.

Cena is talking about the old times in the back with Edge and Christian until Christian brings up the time Edge beat up Cena’s dad. He leaves before death ensues and Cena and Edge have a nice feel good moment to I guess officially bury the hatchet. Wasn’t that buried liked five years ago?

Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns

Big Show is on commentary. Rollins is tentative to start and gets shoved out to the floor for his efforts. They seem to be treating this like a big deal, which is exactly what they should be doing. These guys are going to be the future of the company and a showdown should matter. Back in and Roman goes after the arm for some psychology, including a ram into the buckle.

Big Show says Rollins is the future and should be the Superstar of the Year. For once I actually agree with him. Reigns runs into a boot in the corner and they head outside for a change. It’s Rollins sending him into the corner and we hit the chinlock back inside. Show isn’t exactly being impartial on commentary but he’s actually entertaining by just cheering for Rollins.

Roman fights up and hits a nice powerbomb to send Rollins outside yet again. That goes nowhere so Reigns puts him in the ropes for the Apron Kick. That’s still a cool looking spot, but a distraction by the Stooges lets Rollins knock him into the barricade as we take a break. Back with, of course, Reigns in a chinlock. Seth starts changing strategy by kicking the knee out dropkicking Reigns for two. That ends our interesting idea phase as it’s back to the chinlock. Reigns fights up again but we hit chinlock #3 in about two minutes. No following up on the leg kick or anything. Just another chinlock.

The hold is escaped again but Rollins downward spirals him down into the buckle, only to eat a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. A belly to back slam gets the same as Big Show is still playing cheerleader. Rollins pops back up with an enziguri and low superkick for two as both guys are down again. This match really doesn’t have the energy that it should, but the fans haven’t been all that interested in most of the stuff they’ve seen all night. The Curb Stomp misses and Roman sidesteps the springboard knee, setting up the Superman Punch. Not that it matters as Big Show comes in for the DQ at 16:20.

Rating: C. If this is supposed to be their next big guy, they’ve got a major problem. Reigns isn’t the worst guy in the world by any stretch, but he’s just not the guy you want as the top guy right now. There’s nothing wrong with not being ready, but there is something very bad about pushing him as the next top guy when he isn’t ready. It’s crippled people before and it could ruin a lot of things for Reigns. On a side note, at least Rollins didn’t get pinned. They’ve been doing a somewhat better job of not giving bigger names meaningless losses lately.

Big Show throws Reigns over the announcers’ table and shoves all the equipment on top of him. Cole makes a big point of Reigns’ leg being crushed so this might be an injury angle.

Post break, Rollins promises to offer a New Year’s toast to John Cena on the Cutting Edge Peep Show.

We recap Wyatt vs. Ambrose, who will be having an ambulance match next week.

Bray Wyatt, sitting in the back of an ambulance, says everything must come full circle, like an ambulance taking you to a place where life begins an ends. It all ends next week but Dean died long ago. Bray and Bray alone has his soul. He closes the doors and the ambulance drives away.

Here’s Bryan, who JBL declares as being back despite not being gone more than a few weeks at most. Daniel says it’s an honor to be in this ring every single time. Who would have thought that a small kid from Aberdeen, Washington who was labeled a B+ player could have main evented Wrestlemania? No one, except for the fans. Thanks to the people, he beat HHH, Randy Orton and Batista in one night in front of 75,000 people. Five days later, he married the woman of his dreams to complete the greatest week of his life.

Then everything changed. Two days after their honeymoon ended, his dad died. Bryan was here wrestling that night and wasn’t there for his dad. Then a few weeks later, he had a career changing neck injury, and all he could do was sit at home on his couch and watch. All he wanted to do was be here in front of these people competing because it’s all that can take the pain away. He’s starting to cry as he says this.

No one cheered louder than he did when Ziggler got rid of the Authority. It was a great moment but it hurt because he couldn’t be there in the ring. He talked to everyone including Edge, who knows a thing or two about career ending injuries. You reach a point where you have to think about making a decision. He isn’t sure if all of this is worth it or not.

The fans all say NO, but Bryan wanted to make this announcement in front of all of the people. Is his career over? NO. That is not his announcement, because he is ready to fight and compete. His announcement: he will be in the 2015 Royal Rumble! Now THAT woke the crowd up.

Edge and Christian are playing the kazoos when Miz and Mizdow come up. Christian says Miz needs a Tic Tac and Edge has a puppet for a stunt double. They’ll be getting a rematch tonight…..but not for the title and not against the Usos. Mizdow is watching the puppet.

Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Ascension

We already open with a gaffe, as the Ascension’s combined weight is listed as 480lbs but Cole says Konnor weighs 290 and Viktor 240. Miz immediately hides on the floor, leaving Mizdow to take a big power beating. The Fall of Man (high/low with a running back elbow from Viktor) is enough for the pin at 1:10. This worked.

Rollins would like Lesnar to join he and Cena in the ring next.

It’s time for the first ever Cutting Edge Peep Show with special guest the Walking Pile of Suck (Christian came up with that one) Seth Rollins. The Stooges come out carrying champagne and are dubbed the Geek Squad by the Canadians. Rollins says Edge and Christian pioneered a generation and he might not be here without then. Edge and Christian see this as condescending, but Rollins goes on to talk about what a great year he had.

He ended the Shield, won Money in the Bank, should have been named Superstar of the Year, and has become the future of WWE. Who else has had a better year? “Cena?” “Daniel Bryan?” “Sting?” Edge: “The Doctor of Style Slick?” Christian: “He was a jive soul bro who always lied to his friends.” Rollins, somewhat bewildered by the reference, says he wants to start a new year. The old Seth Rollins is dead and it’s going to be a new version next year.

First of all, Rollins would like Big Show to come out here. Show comes out applauding Rollins, but Rollins gets nothing when he requests Cena. Edge thinks it’s due to Rollins’ lack of charisma. Apparently Rollins wouldn’t have charisma if he had a live sex celebration right here with Big Show. Seth still wants Cena out here and nails Christian with the briefcase. Edge gets in his face but is surrounded and injured.

The villains put Edge’s head onto the briefcase until Cena runs down to ringside. Rollins stops him at ringside and says Cena knows what Seth wants. The announcers point out that Rollins wants the Authority back as Seth says Edge is a husband and father. If Cena wants Edge to be with his wife and play with his kid, Cena better give Rollins what he wants. Let’s find out if Cena is Mr. Hustle, Loyalty and Respect. Bring the Authority back or Edge gets paralyzed.

Cena finally says ok but Rollins makes Noble go to him with a mic to make sure it’s clear. John confirms that the Authority is back but Rollins loads up the Curb Stomp anyway. Cena comes in for the save but the numbers are too high. The Curb Stomp lays out Cena as Big Show tries to start an Authority chant. Lesnar and Heyman come out as Rollins and Big Show celebrate. Heyman shakes Rollins’ hand and the Authority just happens to be here to celebrate. They were there the night after Survivor Series, so they weren’t even gone five weeks. JBL is thrilled to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. They should keep the roster split more often because this show was FAR more entertaining than most of the previous months. The show had a chance to breathe and a lot more stuff happened as a result. In other words, stuff had a chance to make an impact instead of jumping to something else over and over again. The worst part of the packed shows is they have to get in all the comedy/filler stuff instead of letting the important things take their time.

The wrestling wasn’t great tonight, but it felt like the show was in gear again. Between Ryback getting to talk (and not doing badly), Ascension’s debut and Bryan’s announcement, it felt like new stuff happened tonight instead of just rehashing the same stuff over and over again. The end of 2014 wasn’t kind to WWE, so maybe things are going to be looking up going into the new year. It’s better than Big Show dancing in a diaper at least…and then the Authority came back to make the last month plus Survivor Series totally meaningless. Well done WWE. You wasted the best story you’ve had all year to bring them back.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Rusev wouldn’t stop stomping in the corner

Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Rack Attack

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Superfly Splash to Miz

Bad News Barrett b. Cesaro – Bullhammer

Luke Harper b. Jack Swagger – Discus lariat

Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Big Show interfered

Ascension b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Fall of Man to Mizdow

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1988: When Being Petty Gives Us Free Shows

It’s January (or it will be when you read this) and that means it’s time for the Road to Wrestlemania to begin. That road starts with the Royal Rumble, which has a very long history to it which we’re going to get into every day for the next 27 days before we hit the 2015 edition. We’ll start with a brief intro into the background of the show and how it got started before moving into the show itself.

So back in late 1987, the NWA was going to start airing PPVs of their own with the first one being Starrcade on Thanksgiving night. Vince, ever the ball buster, decided to air his own show on that night called the Survivor Series, saying that whoever didn’t air his show wouldn’t get to air Wrestlemania. Most of the cable companies bailed on Crockett (NWA owner for all intents and purposes) and aired Survivor Series, but they told Vince to NEVER do that again.

This is where Vince got crafty: he couldn’t air a PPV on the night that Crockett was running his next PPV (Bunkhouse Stampede, which is one of the DUMBEST and most screwed up shows ever for a ton of reasons, including not even being able to get the freaking start time right), but he could run a free TV show on that night. Therefore, he got an idea from one Pat Patterson about a battle royal with timed entrances and a card around it. The idea is the Royal Rumble, and there have been twenty five of them so far. Let’s get to it.

Royal Rumble 1988
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So as I said, this is the first of the Rumbles and it aired on live TV instead of on Pay Per View. The battle royal tonight is twenty men instead of thirty and we also have three other matches on the card on top of that. We also get a bench press demonstration from Dino Bravo (just go with it) and the contract signing for Hogan vs. Andre II at the first live Main Event which would happen in twelve days. In a KB related story, I would happen in about ten days. Let’s get to it.

Vince does the intro over what I thought was Rude’s music. Oh it was Rude’s music. No wonder they sounded alike.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

This should work well with a career face vs. a career heel. That’s another thing you never get anymore: matches for the sake of having a match. You know what? It could work today too. For the sake of simplicity, Rick will only be used for Rude and Ricky will only be used for Steamboat. Rude pounds away to start but Steamboat fires off chops in retaliation. Rude throws him over the top because he’s still new at this WWF thing. Steamboat skins the cat back in and throws Rude to the floor.

Steamboat does Rude’s pose and Rude complains of a pull of the tights. Back in and Rude wants a test of strength and Dragon, ever the slow one, accepts. Down goes Ricky but he finally hits a knee to the hand to break the grip, followed by a wicked spin out to take Rude to the mat. Steamboat cranks on the arm and does so for a good while. The crowd is pretty much quiet here, so we can hear the individual shouts from fans which give Vince and Jesse something to talk about.

Rude escapes but Steamboat chops him right back down and armdrags him down as only Ricky can do. An elbow puts Ricky down for a bit and Rick pounds away some more. Steamboat comes back with chops and another armdrag into an armbar. More slugging out occurs with chops vs. punches dominating the action. In something you don’t often see, Steamboat seems to botch a spot, resulting in him backing into a knee from Rude and falling (intentionally) to the floor.

Rick sends Steamboat back first into the apron and slams him down as Steamboat is in trouble. There’s a camel clutch by Rude as he finally has a body part to work on. Steamboat taps but that wouldn’t mean anything else for about six years. The referee checks the arm and they make a BIG error as Ricky lets his arm fall three times before stopping it on the fourth drop. Jesse FREAKS as only he can but the match just keeps going. Gotta love that live TV thing right?

Anyway Steamboat stands up and drops Rude on his back to put both guys down. It’s Steamboat up first but a splash hits knees. Back to the chinlock but Ricky makes the ropes and sends Rude into the buckle ten times. A chop to the face gets two and we hit the mat for some technical stuff and a pinfall reversal sequence. By that I mean about five pin attempts each and the crowd is waking up now. Ricky suplexes Rude down but Rude pulls the referee in the way of the cross body. Rude puts on the over the shoulder backbreaker (his move before the Rude Awakening) but it’s a DQ win for Steamboat.

Rating: C. The main issue here was the length. This runs about eighteen minutes and a lame ending didn’t help things either. At least you had two talented guys in there to make the match work a bit better. Still though, cut about five minutes off of this one and it’s WAY better all of a sudden. Steamboat would be gone in just a few months.

It’s time for the bench press lift record attempt. Dino Bravo is doing the lifting (in wrestling gear) and Jesse is spotting. Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, is here too. Dino presses 415 to start but first demands complete and utter silence. The 415lbs are easily lifted ten times. We’re going for over 700 by the end so this may take awhile. Next up is 505, which I believe is what Yokozuna weighed when he debuted. That one only goes up eight times as we’re at six minutes spent on this so far.

This time it’s going to be 555. Great this is going to take even more time now. Dino stops to yell at the fans a bit first and now we’re going to the lifting. This one gets about seven reps as this continues to take time. Now it’s 595. They keep talking about a world record, even though there’s no official there to confirm this is happening or anything like that. Wait let’s yell at the fans some more before he lifts it three times. We’re at ten minutes now.

Jesse yells at McMahon a bit and Bravo takes forever to do 655. Gene doing the used car salesman selling of this segment helps a bit due to how over the top and ridiculous it is. Now they go for 715, but the record would be unofficial because the bar will have to be weighed later. We stop to yell at the fans of course first though and storms off. As Bravo goes to finish, Ventura reaches down and pulls the bar up. Yep, that’s the actual payoff of over fifteen minutes of this nonsense.

Women’s Tag Titles: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

These are real titles (held by the Glamour Girls at this point) which have perhaps the most confusing history ever, as the belts were literally bought and sold between two wrestling companies. Anyway, they’re here now and the Angels (Tateno and Yamazaki) beat the Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Lelani Kai) in the finals of the Survivor Series match which basically set this up. This is also 2/3 falls.

I’m not entirely sure which is which on both teams but Vince doesn’t even know the names of the Angels at all until someone tells him later on. The Angels immediately charge at the Girls and hit stereo dropkicks to take over. For those of you unfamiliar with the Angels, basically imagine the Hardys before they became poster children for what drugs can do to you but with long hair and wearing one piece female swimsuits.

We start with Kai vs. Yamazaki (the one in pink. Got it) and a knee to the back from Martin gives the Girls control. Yamazaki Matrixes out of a cover and rolls Kai up for two. Off to Tateno for a kind of suplex out of a piledriver position for one. Jesse asks Vince the names of the Bomb Angels and Vince has NO idea. He suggests calling them pink and red. Yamazaki tries a cross body but it literally bounces off the shall we say rotund Martin.

Off to Kai again so Yamazaki knees her down before bring Tateno back in. Both Angels fire off forearms to take Kai down and there’s an Octopus Hold (a freaky kind of abdominal stretch from Japan) from Tateno. The Angels put on stereo figure fours before it gets down to just Tateno on Kai. There’s a legdrop between the legs ala Jeff Hardy but instead Tateno spreads her own legs to spread Kai’s into the splits as well.

Yamazaki hooks something like a Sharpshooter while being off to the side of Kai. That’s incredibly painful looking and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it otherwise. The Angels get in a tug of war over Kai with Martin losing the war. Martin makes a tag but it doesn’t count because her feet weren’t on the apron. There’s a rule you never see enforced. Not that it matters as there’s the regular tag anyway. Martin comes in and beats on Tateno a bit before hitting a falling backwards facedrop out of a powerbomb position for the first fall. Big Show called that the Alley Oop if it wasn’t clear.

Martin pounds on Tateno after the break but Tateno bridges out in the Matrix move from the mat. Martin misses a splash and there’s Yamazaki again. A middle rope clothesline puts Martin down for two as Vince knows the Angels’ names now. The Angels cause some heel miscommunication but Martin loads up the same move that won her the first fall. In a classic example of PSYCHOLOGY, Tateno rolls through it into a sunset flip for the second fall this time. See? She LEARNED over the course of the match. That shows thinking, which is psychology! It’s not that hard! She slipped a bit on the flip but I’ll forgive it this time.

The third fall begins with a double clothesline from the Angels for two on Kai but Lelani pounds away on her in retaliation. Off to Martin who blocks a fisherman’s suplex and escapes a backslide out of the corner. A slingshot sends Yamazaki into the wrong corner and double teaming gets two on her.

Off to Tateno who is thrown around even more than Yamazaki was. Tateno comes back with a pair of release atomic drops minus the knees and it’s off to Yamazaki for a top rope knee for two. A double underhook suplex gets two on Kai but a senton backsplash misses for Tateno. With Kai trying to get in, the Angels hit stereo missile dropkicks on Martin for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. For the late 80s and women’s wrestling, this was off the charts. The Angels are every bit as good as any male cruiserweight not named Mysterio you’ll ever see and when they’re against people like the Girls, their skills are shown off even better. This was beyond state of the art for this time period and is still amazing today. Check these chicks out and you won’t be disappointed.

We recap Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania by getting the opening minute or so which saw Hogan trying the slam and Andre getting a “controversial” two count. Andre wants a rematch and has been sold to DiBiase, who wants to buy the world title. Andre showed how evil he was by attacking Hogan on SNME and easily choking him down, setting up the rematch in about two weeks and a match which drew an INSANE 15 rating on LIVE national TV on NBC. Today Vince would lose his mind at a 5 on cable, so this was unthinkable back then.

Oh and now we get the contract signing between Andre and Hogan on tonight’s show for the match on February 5 in Indianapolis. DiBiase is here too as Jesse points out how stupid the fans are for cheering for a song called Real American here in Canada. Even Jack Tunney is here. For those of you unfamiliar, picture Johnny Ace if he wasn’t dripping with charisma.

Gene actually calls Andre Mr. Roussimoff here, which you NEVER hear on WWF TV. Andre won’t sit down and then he won’t sign. Hogan signs but Andre wants to read the whole thing first. One thing to note: Gene has probably said the date of the match about ten times. It’s so simple yet so effective. Andre signs and beats up Hogan for fun to end this after a LONG time.

Jesse and Vince talk about the Rumble and say that if you go over the top, it doesn’t matter where your feet touch because you’re out. I’m assuming that means you have to hit the floor but it’s not exactly clear.

Royal Rumble

Okerlund explains the rules and the intervals are every two minutes here. If you don’t know the Rumble rules, you have no business reading this. It’s a battle royal, people come in every two minutes, there are 20 people in it (this year only) last man standing wins. #1 is Bret Hart and #2 is Tito Santana, and wouldn’t you know it their tag teams are feuding right now. I mean what are the odds?

They slug it out to start with no one having any kind of advantage. Bret finally takes him down and heads towards the rope as Butch Reed comes in at #3. This is a different kind of Rumble as heels don’t fight heels and faces don’t fight faces yet. They just kind of work together as you would expect them to. Tito is almost thrown out by Reed but he escapes and beats on both heels for a bit.

It’s Neidhart in at #4 as not a ton is happening so far in this match. This leaves Santana more or less down 3-1 and everyone pounds away on him. The clock is pretty lenient so far as there’s no way they’re going two minutes between each of these entrants. We get some slow triple teaming and after a choke on the ropes, here’s Jake Roberts in at #5 to quickly toss out Reed. We’ve got Roberts/Santana vs. the Hart Foundation which is quite the tag match when you think about it.

The Harts get beaten down and then thrown into each other but Neidhart breaks up the DDT. Bret piledrives Santana down and Harley Race is in at #6. The crowd is staying way into this which is a good sign for the future. Things kind of slow down a bit as the faces and heels beat on each other for a little while. Here’s Jim Brunzell at #7 to make it a six man tag for all intents and purposes.

Roberts goes EVIL by pulling on Neidhart’s beard. Only Reed has been eliminated so far. The good guys are in control at the moment with Race almost being thrown out. Here’s Sam Houston, Jake’s real life half brother, coming in at #8 to beat on everyone in sight. Well every heel at least. The Harts finally get together and throw out Santana to get us down to six people in the ring.

After about 90 seconds, here’s Danny Davis at #9. To be fair he’s barely a jobber so it’s not like this is going to give the heels any significant advantage. Oh wait he’s fighting Sam Houston so yeah, the heels are in control. Race gets caught in the ropes and Jake keeps knocking him back and forth in a funny bit. Davis tries to kick Jake and gets his leg caught, followed by a suplex from Roberts.

Danny escapes a DDT as we get Boris Zhukov at #10, maybe 80 seconds after Davis came in. Things continue to go slow as we’re trying to build up to a regular battle royal. Race goes after Boris in the first instance of heel vs. heel in this match. Race and Hart double team Brunzell for a bit as this continues to be slow. Don Muraco comes out as #11 but Nikolai Volkoff follows him out, apparently thinking he’s #11. Now there’s a story you don’t see that often but which could work.

Brunzell puts out Zhukov and apparently Nikolai is going to be #12 in a few moments. After way too long of nothing happening, Nikolai is officially #12. Brunzell is put to the apron but gets back in just as Race is eliminated by Muraco. We’ve got eight in there at the moment, which would be Hart, Neidhart, Roberts, Brunzell, Houston, Davis, Muraco and Volkoff. Race won’t leave ringside so as Duggan comes out at #13, he beats Race up on the way. This would lead to one of those so ridiculous it’s hilarious moments at the Slammys.

Duggan goes right after Neidhart because HE wants to be the Jim in this match. The place is way into him too so the crowd reaction is good. After maybe a minute here’s Ron Bass at #14. Volkoff dumps Brunzell as Jake and Neidhart collide. The clock gets even shorter as B. Brian Blair is #15. There are way too many people in the ring now. Everyone fights everyone as Hillbilly Jim is #16, and the fourth person in this match named Jim. He also dumps out Jim Neidhart to empty the ring a tiny bit.

Dino Bravo is #17 as Bass dumps Houston. Back to slow motion mode with everyone pounding on people near the ropes without really doing much. Ultimate Warrior (doesn’t mean anything yet) is #18 and Bret is FINALLY put out by Don Muraco. I timed this next one, and the One Man Gang comes out at #19, 53 seconds after Warrior. They’re not even trying here. Gang immediately pounds on Roberts so Warrior jumps on the big man’s back. This is WAY before he would have been able to slam him anyway.

Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.

Bravo and Gang dump the Warrior as we’re down to six pretty quickly. Bass jumps the Dog and tosses him to get us down to five. Muraco dumps Bass and we have a final four of Muraco, Gang, Duggan and Bravo. Gang splashes Duggan in the corner, leaving Muraco to have to fight off both guys. He even takes Frenchy Martin down with a dropkick, only to have Gang clothesline him out to get us down to three.

Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where the words “well, they tried” come to mind. That’s the best way to put this match: they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, but they tried. The lack of star power hurt this one as only Duggan and maybe Dog were big names here. It wouldn’t be until next year when the star power came into this and it became a main event thing. Still though, it’s certainly not a bad match and they would get better as time went on.

We recap (see? It even happened back then) the contract signing from earlier tonight.

Hogan is in the arena (in jeans, which is a weird image for some reason) and says that he wants Andre. Standard hype interview for a big match but it’s Hogan in the late 80s so you know it’s awesome.

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Another 2/3 falls match here just to fill in the final part of the show. The Islanders have recently kidnapped Matilda and are recently back off suspension for returning the dog. Tama and Powers (It’s Haku/Tama vs. Jim Powers/Paul Roma) start things off and no one can get a real advantage in the early going. The Stallions beat on Tama a bit, with shots to the head for some reason, before it’s Haku in off the tag.

A cross body gets two for Roma and the Stallions work on the arm for awhile. Off to Tama who gets in like one shot before we cut to a camera angle from over the announcers shoulders. That’s a new one. Powers gets caught by a double headbutt and Haku hammers away on him some more. This continues to go nowhere so I think out of boredom it’s off to Roma vs. Tama.

Roma dropkicks Tama down but Haku low bridges Roma, sending him to the floor and injuring the knee. That’s good enough for a countout for the first fall and the Stallions take Roma to the dressing room to get his knee looked at. In other words, we need a reason to show the contract signing again and let Andre talk a bit. Just like Hogan, Andre doesn’t have much to say but it hypes up the Main Event.

Back to the match after the promo, the recap and a pair of breaks and it’s basically Powers in a handicap match now. You can see big gaps of seats where fans have left. For this one, I can’t say I blame them. Powers dropkicks him down and we hear about Giant-A-Mania from Jesse. Off to Tama who pounds away even more and kicks out of a small package at two. Tama’s jumping back elbow takes Powers down and it’s a little Samoan trash talk for good measure. Haku’s dropkick gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex for two more.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch but Powers finally hiptosses out of it to get a breather. Haku misses a splash and things slow down again, but there’s no one for Powers to tag because of Roma’s knee injury. Roma finally tags himself in and Haku casually kicks the leg out to take over. Jesse wishes that was Vince’s knee because that’s the kind of guy he is. Tama puts on a half crab and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. This match is a victim of its spot on the card. The problem here is that everything else is done and this was the textbook definition of filler. It’s hard to care about something like this when there’s no story and no interest in this match, and on top of that it wasn’t even anything decent. This is one of those matches though where you can’t blame a lot of the problems on the wrestlers.

Jesse and Vince chat a bit about what we saw to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s one major thing to keep in mind about this show: it was on free TV. On PPV, this would have been bad, but to be fair they had no idea what they were going for here so anything good, which a lot of stuff on here was, was a surprise. This was a decent entry into the show, but they did WAY better next year when they had an idea what they were doing. Good first effort though.

As I did with the last series of reviews, I’ll be comparing the new ratings to the original ones and posting a link to the original review.

Ratings Comparison

Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude

Original: C+

Redo: C

Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

This show hasn’t changed much other than a few tweaks here and there.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1988/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: December 22, 2014

Last week’s show was the Christmas episode, which has been little more than a dull show with a big main event for years, but the common expectations seemed to be the greatest show of all time, because wrestling fans have short attention spans. Other than that though, Hogan is here as the guest host, Ho Ho Hogan. Let’s get to it.

Hogan opened things up as Santa Claus. I’m really hoping this is better than Santa With Muscles, which really was a disaster, even by Hulk movie standards. That being said, Hulk Hogan as Santa……might be the most amazing thing in the history of ever. Anyway, Hogan made some matches which we’ll get to later, but John Cena interrupted him for the big hero buddy shot.

Cena sang Let It Go. I’m going to pause to let you think about that for a few seconds now. Cena actually praised Rollins for beating him fair and square last week, which is a very cool line to hear. It’s a good rub for Seth because he did in fact win the match without breaking any rules. He wanted Rollins again tonight, so Seth came out for basically the exact same promo Cena has heard for a year or so: go away because it’s my time. Think about it: for the last year, what have you heard said to Cena besides that or “come to the dark side”? Rollins did his usual whining about the Authority and the obvious match was made for the opener.

The match was good as usual, with Cena winning via overcoming the odds. I’m fine with this, as Rollins got his big win the previous week. There isn’t much to say about this one, which is usually the case about good matches. Rollins losing isn’t a problem because a top star like John Cena shouldn’t be losing clean (or semi-clean) to almost anyone. Seth beat Cena last week with all the cheating and that’s all he ever needed to do.

Fandango beat Jack Swagger clean in about two minutes. This one was more annoying than anything else, but the more I think about it, the less there is to get mad about. At the end of the day, Fandango isn’t going to go anywhere. He’s a one idea character who has only gotten the attention he’s gotten because of how he speaks and the good looking women that dance with him. He isn’t going to become a big star or anything more than a midcarder because, barring changing a lot of things about him, he’s about reached his peak.

That brings us to Swagger, who does have room to grow, which is what got on my nerves about him losing. The more I think about it though, the less annoyed I am. Swagger may have room to grow, but he’s been so damaged over the last few years that there’s just no saving him, at least not without a major repackaging. The guy just isn’t going to get any better with this character because he’s been branded as a loser by the fans. That’s almost impossible to come back from and I don’t see it happening with him either.

R-Truth beat Adam Rose in less than a minute. Rose laid out the Bunny post match for what felt like his official heel turn.

Here’s the thing with Rose: he never should have been anything more than the modern day Godfather. He comes out to open a house show, talks about what a fun party this is, gets challenged by some low level heel (Titus, Slater, you get the idea), beats him in like two minutes and dances off while the crowd is fired up and ready to have a good time. That alone should have kept Rose employed for……oh I’d say three years at minimum.

But instead, they decided to give him a character, which hasn’t gone anywhere since it started. It seemed for a bit like they were focusing on the Bunny for awhile, but then that stopped being a thing for about a month and was seemingly dropped. Now no one cares about Rose and the guy that should have been one of the easiest opening acts ever has taken one of the dumbest heel turns I can remember in a long time. In other words, as usual, WWE doesn’t get the idea that some people have a spot and shouldn’t leave that spot no matter what.

Roman Reigns beat Big Show by countout in a quick match. This was just to set up their big showdown later in the future, even though I don’t know of many people who want to see it. People complain about Reigns not being ready, and this is a good example as to why. He’s being dragged down by this feud with Big Show that no one cares about, meaning he isn’t getting to grow.

Big Show continues to be this guy that is just thrown into main event level feuds without ever winning one, but in theory this is why they’ve had him look so dominant for so long recently. For some reason WWE thinks people care about Big Show, because so many people have responded to his recent efforts. The problem with him is simple: when you put EVERYONE over, putting someone else over doesn’t mean as much. Just ask Mick Foley or Chris Jericho.

Ambrose still wants to beat up Wyatt. They’ve reached the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting for months and that’s rarely a good thing.

Natalya made Brie Bella tap out in the usual Bella match. I guess they’re trying to make Nikki the next big deal, but my goodness it’s not working. But hey, some unknown critic likes Total Divas so that’s something right?

In another match where the writers aren’t thinking, Goldust and Stardust lost to Los Matadores and El Torito. Let me repeat that: the heels lost a handicap match to the good guys. In wrestling, the idea behind a face, most of the time at least, is that he’s fighting an uphill battle. Austin was fighting McMahon’s money and power, Hogan was fighting the entire Heenan Family, Los Matadores and Torito were fighting with a three man to two advantage. It goes against the basic logic of wrestling and should have made Goldust and Stardust faces. I’m supposed to boo someone who lost in a disadvantage? That makes no sense.

Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title over Luke Harper in the same match they’ve had half a dozen times now. I like the matches, but at the same time it’s really hard to care about something we’ve done that many times. Other than that, I didn’t like the spot where Harper no sold a superkick. That’s similar to the stuff from Japan that drives me crazy, though to be fair this was one time instead of five in a single match. At least it was only once, but I really hope that doesn’t become a thing in WWE.

Lana and Rusev were in Piper’s Pit until Ryback came out wearing a big bow. Piper was about as pointless of a cameo as I’ve ever seen here as he served no purpose other than to say he had a surprise for Rusev and bring out Ryback. He wasn’t even funny or serious to make it even less interesting.

Divas, bad match, moving on. The good girls won if you care for some reason.

Jimmy Uso and the Miz had the same match they’ve had a few times now. I still care about the story and want to see where it goes though, which is more than I can say about most of the things going on in WWE today. Nothing is going to matter until Naomi gets directly involved, and that needs to happen sooner rather than later.

The main event was another long match between Ambrose and Wyatt with Dean hammering on Bray for over twenty minutes before losing at the very end. They went with the Christmas presents idea here and opened up a bunch of weapons to make this a fun match. That being said, just like Ziggler vs. Harper, how many times can I sit here and watch these guys fight? The good thing is that Ambrose is still over, but that’s only going to last so long.

Overall Raw wasn’t nearly as bad as people say it was, but it’s still nothing all that great. The good stuff was good, but when they start dogging it with the filler that no one cares about, this show can fall down through a hole that it never recovers from. The three good matches more than carry it to a passing grade, but my goodness some of this stuff, mainly involving the Divas, was incredibly lame. They need to get to Rumble season, which has potential to be awesome, especially if Reigns isn’t a lock to win the whole thing. Acceptable, but still not great or even solid show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – December 29: Kevin Sullivan

Today we’re looking at a guy who was small but tough: Kevin Sullivan.

Sullivan got started all the way back in 1970s. We’ll pick him up as a jobber in the WWF on August 7, 1976 in MSG.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Bruiser Brody

This is Brody’s MSG debut. It’s so strange to see anyone but the Fink doing the announcing. In a sign of the times, Brody’s manager the Grand Wizard heads to the back as managers weren’t allowed at ringside back then. Brody doesn’t seem to mind as he pounds Sullivan up against the ropes. Some choking ensues but Sullivan avoids a charge in the corner. That’s the extent of the good part of the match for Sullivan though as Brody torture racks him for the win.

We’ll jump ahead to the first Starrcade in 1983.

Kevin Sullivan/Mark Lewin vs. Scott McGhee/Johnny Weaver

McGhee and Sullivan get things going meaning we don’t have a tall man in the ring at all. Off to Lewin to slap McGhee in the back and tag out to Sullivan again. Weaver gets the tag and we get a crisscross resulting in Sullivan holding onto the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lewin comes back in but Weaver starts cranking on his arm to gain control. Off to Scott again as Lewin isn’t sure what to do.

Mark and Kevin start tagging in and out very quickly to work on Scott’s arm with knees and chops to the shoulder. Lewin comes in to crank on both arms at once but Scott manages to make a tag while still in the hold. That would be very impressive but the tag doesn’t count as the referee didn’t see it. Lewin and Sullivan stay on the arm before it’s a nerve hold by Mark. Sullivan comes back in but lets McGhee go long enough for the hot tag to Weaver. Johnny cleans house but has his bulldog broken up by Sullivan. Now it’s Weaver getting pounded down and Lewin comes in off the top rope with a knee to the arm….for the pin? Seriously?

Rating: C-. It was better than the opener but not by much. The arm stuff was fine although the ending was out of nowhere. Sullivan just held the arm while Lewin jumped onto it for the pin. The match wasn’t bad but we’re now a fourth of the way through the show and no good guy has won yet. That’s some questionable booking.

Another big jump forward to Clash of the Champions V as Sullivan is part of the Varsity Club.

US Tag Team Titles: Varsity Club vs. Fantastics

Kevin Sullivan and Steve Williams had taken the titles from the Fantastics at Starrcade but tonight it’s Williams and Rotunda defending. Ross puts over the idea that the Varsity Club is going to try for a submission because the Fantastics have never given up before. Rotunda and Rogers get things going with some high quality stalling. A fireman’s carry puts Tommy down and the stalling continues. Rogers finally gets things going with a cross body for two but it’s quickly off to Williams for some raw power. Rotunda helps Williams for a double clothesline from the apron and the champions take control.

Fulton comes in a few seconds later for a double dropkick and some dancing to very little amusement from the crowd. The stalling continues and we get an inset promo from Rick Steiner, saying he’ll take care of Rotunda in Chicago. Williams runs Fulton over and brings Rotunda back in, only to have him get caught in a sunset flip for two. Bobby cross bodies Steve for two more and it’s back to Rogers for a dropkick followed by more standing around.

Steve runs him over again and Rotunda gets the tag to slow the pace even more. Fulton gets sent to the floor where Williams runs him over with a clothesline before dropping him face first on the apron. A top rope ax handle gets two for Williams and a clothesline gets the same for Rotunda. No real sign of the attempted submissions yet. Fulton avoids a knee drop but Williams breaks up a hot tag attempt.

A big shoulder tackle puts Fulton down again but he grabs the ropes to block the Oklahoma Stampede. Now the hot tag brings in Rogers as everything breaks down. Tommy hits what was supposed to be a top rope cross body to Williams but hits him more in the back, only to have Rotunda get in a cheap shot to give Williams the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of the difference between slow paced and boring. They weren’t going fast here, but they were doing stuff throughout the match. This was very different, and much more entertaining, than the previous two matches which were often move, move, three minute chinlock. It wasn’t a great match or anything, but there’s a huge difference between the two styles and it made this match much easier to sit through. The Fantastics were done as a team in the NWA soon after this.

Here are some more good opponents at Great American Bash 1989.

Varsity Club vs. Steiner Brothers

This is under Texas Tornado rules and is Scott’s debut on PPV. Sullivan and Rotunda here as they’re all that’s left. The Steiners bring actual dogs with them. Kevin and Rick fight on the floor as this is of course just a massive brawl. Apparently this is no DQ also as Kevin rams Rick into a table and it’s all fine. Rick busts out a belly to belly in the ring though as Scott just destroys Mike.

Scott gets double teamed as they are flying through this. The evildoers get stereo twos as I’m liking this brawl style here. Rick brings in a chair or something like it and gets blasted in the head with it in a painful looking spot. Kevin picks up Rick for a slam but Scott comes off the top onto Rick’s back for a double splash more or less and the pin on Kevin. Total nonstop action here to coin a phrase.

Rating: B. This was incredibly fun. It was about four and a half minutes long, but this was very similar to the Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack/random partner matches in 94 as they just beat the fire out of each other from bell to bell. What more can you really ask for other than it being longer? This was the end of the Varsity Club as Rotunda left before coming back next year as a sailor while Sullivan hooked up with a bunch of crazy characters, one of which was a newcomer named Cactus Jack. You may have heard of him.

Time to torture some skateboarders at Wrestlewar 1990.

Kevin Sullivan/Buzz Sawyer vs. Dynamic Dudes

Sawyer is insane and that’s about all you need to know about him. He starts with Ace and these people are a bit more receptive than the Philly crowd was in our last show. Speaking of last shows, this is the final major show that Sawyer was on for WCW if that means anything for you. Ace sends him to the floor and a brawl breaks out on the outside. Shane and Sullivan come in and the Dudes keep control with the arm work.

Ace comes in to work on the arm more but Sullivan gets a tag. He also gets in a fight with Sawyer, much to the Dudes’ amusement. That’s smart: why break up a fight when you can get a breather? Sawyer’s arm goes into the post so Shane cranks on it. Out to the floor with Sawyer taking over. Sunset flip gets two for Ace and there’s the tag to Shane. Buzz immediately takes him down and hooks a bearhug to take Shane to the mat.

Sullivan comes in and pops Ace, which draws him in so that Sullivan can throw Shane to the floor. Everything breaks down and Johnny botches a flying headscissors. Sawyer goes up and hits a big old flying splash for the pin. That’s the interim Raw GM and the Executive Vice President of Talent Relations for you. Funk called it the Jam Sandwich, which is something Brodus should use.

Rating: C-. Not much here as none of these guys was much to watch at this point. I’ve never been a big fan of Shane and Ace is just ok. He never was all that good as his size became an issue for him but he was too slim to be a power guy. Not a very good match with a total contrast in styles that didn’t work at all.

Sullivan would head to the indies for a bit after this, including this match at ECW Ultraclash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

Off to SMW at some point in 1993.

Brian Lee vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is part of along feud where Sullivan has sent a series of men to try and take Lee out before finally just doing the job himself. This is a Singapore Spike match where there is a box on each corner and only one holds a spike to use as a weapon. Brian’s partner Tim Horner and Sullivan’s minion the Nightstalker are handcuffed to posts. Lee hammers away to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Sullivan sends him face first into a table and nails him with a chair but can’t get into a box.

Lee is thrown to the floor but comes back in with a chair to the back. Two boxes are checked and empty so they head back outside to brawl some more. Sullivan hits him in the ribs with a hammer to almost no effect. Back in and Sullivan stabs him with pliers before checking the other two boxes. There’s no spike so Lee makes his comeback with right hands and a cross body which takes out the referee. Nightstalker gets on the apron with the spike in his hand but hits Sullivan by mistake, allowing Brian to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent brawl and the story helped things a bit. It’s always a plus when you give me a reason to care why the face is in trouble but wants to fight anyway as it makes him seem like a hero and the villain look like a coward for resorting to cheating. Lee is getting better as he’s starting to find himself in the ring.

Back to WCW for a fairly memorable run, starting at Slamboree 1994.

WCW Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a Broadstreet Bully match, meaning hardcore. Nasty Boys are the heel champions here. Naturally this is just a big brawl which is what the Nastys were good at. Now THEY would have been good for ECW. It’s good that Foley is here as he’s the only one with a good deal of wrestling talent. In a very funny and smart spot, Cactus comes at Knobbs with a trash can and Knobbs gets his hands up. Jack’s solution: throw it at his feet.

That’s thinking as you go which is what made Foley great. They’re trying to top Spring Stampede I think but Sullivan’s suckiness is preventing that. Sags gets a table to a HUGE pop. To keep things NASTY, he gets tired carrying it. This is nowhere near as intense though and there’s a lot more walking around doing very little. In a nice finish, Schultz does his standard thing of pulling the shirt over the other guy’s head and punches him as Cactus hits him with a hockey stick for the pin and new champions. Maxx Payne hits Sags with a guitar for general purposes.

Rating: B-. This was a good fight, but it’s the sequel to a great fight. This felt like it was trying to be a great fight. That being said, it was still very fun. Jack vs. the Nasty Boys was fun as Jack was just as insane as they were but he could think. This was fun and again, since this is the only match like this all night, it stands out far more and looks better than it would if there had been this almost in every match, ala ECW.

Here’s the showdown at Fall Brawl 1994.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Cactus Jack

The announcer says it’s Loser Leaves WCW and then explains that the stipulation is that the loser leaves WCW. WOW. Yeah this Foley guy has no future here so he needs to move on. That’s Hogan’s idea at least. Again, another young guy with talent that’s over has no place at all in Hogan’s company, no sir. We can’t have young talent here that could show up Hogan. Give me a break.

We don’t actually go to the ring first but rather out into the crowd. This is really just a fight instead of a match which is what makes sense. Foley had recently lost his ear in a match with Vader in Germany which was never turned into a story like Foley wanted to. According to Foley in his book, WCW didn’t want to push a hot feud that the fans were into and good matches were being produced from. That just can’t happen.

Jack throws in a chair but nothing comes of it. This is all Jack selling and Sullivan trying desperately to convince a single person that he has talent. Dave, Kevin’s brother, keeps Cactus from using a chair. Kevin tries to use one also and Dave stops him.

Cactus rams into him on the apron which for some reason knocks him down long enough for a pin. Off to ECW and credibility Jack, even though you were very over in WCW and getting more and more respect every day and having good matches. We have no need to that pesky talent thing.

Rating: D+. This was all Cactus here as he made Sullivan look good, thereby proving that he was awesome. Again, let me make this clear: Mick Foley, 4 time world champion and surefire Hall of Fame wrestler, was thrown out in favor of the Taskmaster. Let that sink in for a minute and tell me Hogan isn’t hurting this company in the long run.

And a totally different kind of match at Starrcade 1994.

Mr. T. vs. Kevin Sullivan

Mr. T. was with Mr. T. at the first Wrestlemania and has been associated with him on and off ever since. He’s in a referee shirt and hat here for no apparent reason. T sidesteps Sullivan to start and hiptosses him down….as Santa comes out. Some headbutts put Sullivan in the corner and T pounds away, only to be sent out to the floor.

Sullivan rips his shirt over T’s head and pounds away as a cameraman goes down. They stay on the floor with Sullivan continuing to pound away until Jimmy Hart, Hogan’s manager, comes out. The distraction lets him slip his megaphone to Santa (Kevin’s brother) who blasts Kevin in the head, giving T the pin.

Rating: F. Was there a point to this that I was missing? It wasn’t even four minutes long and T was on offense for all of thirty seconds. The rest of this was Sullivan slowly beating on T outside before the finish. Other than that, not much to see here at all but I guess T brought in some extra buys for the show.

Sullivan would transition into a managerial role around this point but still wrestled occasionally, including this match on Nitro, September 25, 1995.

Taskmaster vs. Randy Savage

How did a guy like Sullivan get Woman? That makes no sense. Taskmaster jumps him early and Zodiac is on the floor. That’s gimmick number 8 million for Beefcake that didn’t work out. A barber is the best he can do. That’s very amusing. Did Sullivan ever do anything of note? I can’t think of anything. Savage gets crotched over the barricade and he’s in trouble.

This match is on fast forward it seems. And there’s Zodiac for the DQ. Actually never mind. Blatant interference is fine but shoving the referee to fight for your life isn’t. Giant comes out and beats the tar out of Savage as jobbers come out to try to beat up Giant for some reason. Alex Wright comes out and gets beaten up too.

Luger comes out and we have some intrigue here. Luger of all people was one of the most interesting people in the company around this time. He goes after Giant too and takes a chokeslam. He actually had everyone guessing as to which side he was on, which was a fun angle. Then the NWO ended that.

Rating: N/A. This was a fight rather than a match but was designed to add more to the Hogan/Giant and Luger/Savage feuds. Yeah I’m shocked too.

Here’s Sullivan’s best match ever as part of his blood feud with Chris Benoit. I’m sure you’ve heard the story a dozen times, but in short, Sullivan was booking and came up with a story where Benoit stole Sullivan’s real life wife Woman, but that’s exactly what happened in real life. Here’s their first showdown at Great American Bash 1996.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the heck out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to hurt horribly. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks painful as all goodness. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

Another part of the feud at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that. Giant being an unstoppable force was perfect for him here.

Here’s a bit match from Nitr, December 16, 1996.

Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Sullivan

Sullivan blames Schiavone for showing the videos (of Benoit and Woman) on the way to the ring. The brawl stats in the aisle and Sullivan throws a chair at his head. Anderson misses a swing with the chair and hits the post by mistake. They go into the ring for what must have been a good 4 seconds before heading into the crowd.

They go into the ring for the first time that you can actually keep track of and the referee gets a DDT. Sullivan double stomps him and ties Anderson into the Tree of Woe but Anderson manages to kick him low. Here’s Hugh Morrus who gets a DDT. Konnan gets a left hand and Sullivan manages to hit Anderson with a wooden chair for the pin.

Rating: N/A. I can’t really grade this as a match because it was a brawl instead of an actual match. It was entertaining which is really all you can ask for here. Benoit would get back soon enough, namely due to being in the US Title tournament. This was a fun brawl but there isn’t much of a reason to watch it from a storyline perspective as the heat was on Benoit.

Another showdown at SuperBrawl 1997.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is a death match which means street fight. Jackie is with Sullivan and Woman is with Benoit. The chicks will be strapped together for no apparent reason. These two feuded FOREVER and it never particularly went anywhere other than giving us one or two great matches and then the guys trying to redo the matches over and over again which never worked. This would be (I think/hope) the final one.

Both pairs start brawling and it’s a nice pop for that surprisingly. The women are the focus here of course as Benoit and Sullivan have the most basic match you can have that is still classified as pro wrestling. They’re suplexing each other, as in butterfly/regular varieties, in a DEATH match. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap and the girls get unattached. Benoit gets hung, which I guess you could call foreshadowing?

Dusty freaks out because a woman is doing something so this is turned into a total joke. The girls beat on the guys as I want this to end very badly. The guys watch the girls then wake up and beat on each other. The girls get left in the ring as the guys fight up the aisle. It’s split screen time because WCW enjoys doing that for some reason.

The guys fight into the back and we’re on one screen now. They throw stuff at each other and it’s time to go back into the arena after about a minute or so. The referee, ever the genius, stayed with the girls instead of going to the back where a pin could have happened. Back in the ring and Benoit gets caught in the Tree of Woe, which is one of Sullivan’s finishers.

Woman saves and Benoit pops up to piledrive Sullivan. Jackie doesn’t hit Woman but she falls down anyway. It’s table time which wasn’t a well known wrestling thing yet so it was still a fairly big deal. Sullivan goes on the table, Jackie gets on top of him for the sake of protection, Benoit is like screw it and dives on both of them, the table doesn’t break, Sullivan is pinned under the table.

Rating: D. Terribly boring stuff here as this was a DEATH match and it was a comedy match. No idea what they thought the appeal to this would be but it didn’t work in the slightest. This feud was straight up played already so they kept going with it for months and months on end. Weak match, feud sucked, wasn’t funny.

And now a retirement match at Bash at the Beach 1997 to finally end this feud.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit

This is a career match and Jackie is out with Sullivan. No Woman though. Sullivan hasn’t wrestled in three months and Benoit is a Horseman. You figure the ending out. This is the final match of a feud that has gone on for a year now and it’s another slugfest which was done best the first time and has gone downhill ever since. Sullivan suplexes him to the floor and it’s a brawl already.

They tear apart a piece of the guardrail and Benoit suplexes Jackie. She of course no sells it because she’s Jackie and can take moves from men so she’s tough and should be on TV for the next 10 years right? Benoit is finally like screw this and tosses her at Sullivan then pounds on him for awhile. She interferes again because she can I guess. Jackie needs to get hit by a bus. Seriously.

They fight up to the set and Benoit goes through a surfboard house. I don’t think this is No DQ but who cares I guess. Benoit has sand all over him. They destroy most of the set and Sullivan is thrown into a tree. Sullivan takes a beach chair to the head and Jackie hits Benoit again. Seriously, go away. They fight to the other side of the set and keep punching each other.

Sullivan hits a Piledriver in the aisle and since it’s been 18 seconds since Jackie did something, she drops some elbows. Kevin gets a garbage can lid shot to Benoit’s lid but it just fires Chris up. And never mind as he gets sent to the floor so Jimmy can get some shots in. Benoit gets hung upside down with his back to the apron and Sullivan chops away even more.

Back in and Benoit pounds away on him even more. Sullivan bites his stomach so Benoit bites Sullivan’s ear. Crossface goes on but only gets two arm drops. Heenan says this show has the largest audience in the history of PPV. I won’t even start on that one. Benoit pulls him back to the middle and puts it right back on but can’t get it full.

The hold is broken so Chris kicks him a lot. Now he chops him a lot and Sullivan is a face somehow. He Hulks Up for lack of a better term and puts Benoit in the Tree of Woe. Three running knees hit him as Jackie gets a wooden chair. Jackie pops Sullivan with the chair for no apparent reason other than to give herself a reason to yell some more. Swan Dive ends Sullivan’s career.

Rating: C-. The problem for this comes down to one thing: they had the same match for a year straight. Why in the world would I want to watch another big brawl between these two so many times over and over again? It’s not horrible but we’ve seen it such a ridiculous amount of times that no one cares. Also, WAY too much Jackie time here.

Sullivan would come back for a one off match at Starrcade 1999.

Jim Duggan/???/???/??? vs. Revolution

Oh and if Duggan loses, the Revolution has to do his janitor job for thirty days, but if Duggan loses he has to renounce his citizenship on Nitro. Duggan’s partners are…..the Varsity Club. Yes, the same three guys (Rick Steiner, Kevin Sullivan and Mike Rotundo) from 1988 are back again for absolutely no apparent reason. Instead of Shane in the match, it’s WCW’s version of WWF bodybuilding chick Chyna, named Asya. Get the joke? Also Benoit isn’t here because of the US Title match later tonight.

Duggan wants to start the match himself so he sticks his tongue out at the Varsity Club. Saturn starts for the Revolution and gets pounded down by Duggan so it’s Malenko’s turn. Jim beats him down as well with the Three Point Clothesline but he doesn’t seem interested in tagging. The Varsity Club yells at him and you can feel the heel turn coming from here. Saturn comes in again with a springboard missile dropkick to take Duggan down.

The Revolution takes turns beating on Duggan in the corner as this is rapidly going nowhere. Dean hits him with the Revolution flag and even Asya gets in some shots of her own. The Varsity Club finally gets bored of standing on the apron and everything breaks down. To the shock of no one paying attention, the former heel stable turns on Duggan and lays him out, allowing Douglas to come in and steal the pin.

Rating: D. As predicted, no one knew who the Varsity Club was so no one cared when they turned on him. Why Duggan would pick them as partners is beyond me, but as mentioned he wasn’t that bright. This was a waste of Malenko and Saturn, which is a big part of why the bailed to the WWF along with Guerrero and Benoit in about a month.

Sullivan never was the best wrestler but he could have a decent brawl. His feud with Benoit, while WAY too long, produced some very solid fights, including the classic at Great American Bash 1996. There are a lot of others who could have better matches than he could, but he made the most of his career, which lasted nearly thirty years. That puts him on a very short list with some great company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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2014 Awards: Surprise of the Year

The main two options here should be obvious, but the honorable mentions are interesting too.

I think you know what the two finalists here are, so we’ll look at the others first.

To begin with, Lucha Underground is freaking awesome. What felt like a standard indy company with some fairly well known names has turned into one of the most enjoyable wrestling shows of the week. They’ve tried something totally different and the entire production is so different from what you get in WWE and TNA. Lucha Underground actually feels like an alternative and that’s something we haven’t gotten in wrestling for a LONG time.

CM Punk walking out wound up being the story of the year and the reaction when he first left was about as shocked as you were going to get. Immediately people started asking questions such as why, how long, why, real or fake and many others which weren’t quite as intelligent. It’s been nearly a year since Punk walked out and it’s amazing that it’s still one of the biggest stories going. Punk has mastered the art of self promotion and is making a fortune for himself as we all wonder what he’s going to do next.

Quick mention of the New Age Outlaws winning the Tag Team Titles. Seriously, who would have ever believed that two years ago?

The Shield breaking up was a great moment that I questioned at the time, but Rollins has blown this so far out of the water that I’m very happy with where things are going from here. The surprise when Rollins nailed Ambrose with that chair set up a great feud, and even though the story didn’t make a ton of sense, it was one heck of a shock. You had to know Shield was going to split one day, but I think most of us weren’t expecting it for a very long time.

Daniel Bryan not being in the Rumble was more of a REALLY??? moment than a surprise, but it deserves a quick mention.

I would say Paige debuting and winning the title the night after Wrestlemania, but I had that from a few weeks out.

Dolph Ziggler being a sole survivor was a surprise, but a bigger surprise of that match was Cena being knocked out. Coming into the match, a lot of people, myself included, were banking on Cena overcoming the odds to win the match and send the Authority away for awhile. It was a very nice surprise to see the curve thrown in with WWE giving Ziggler the rub of a lifetime instead of going with the same idea again.

Now that we have all that out of the way, let’s get to the real surprise of the year: JTG FINALLY GOT RELEASED! That guy somehow kept a job for SIX YEARS in his second stint alone, despite not winning a televised match since early 2012. Him having a job was a running joke online and I think most fans believed WWE forgot he was still getting paid. The idea of him actually getting fired was shocking and everyone shed a tear when it finally happened.

See? I do actually think when I write these things.

The real options here were Sting FINALLY debuting in WWE and the Streak ending. I was tempted to go with a tie here, but at the end of the day, one of these is a bigger surprise for me.

The Streak is something we’ve lived with for over twenty years. I remember being on the radio once for a predictions contest and saying “Undertaker wins. It’s Wrestlemania.” That’s all I ever needed to say because that’s all that was ever going to happen. Over the years, WWE had teased us a few times with some very near falls (most of which came off of Sweet Chin Music) but it never actually happened. This became an issue in the Wrestlemania XXVII and XXIX matches, as I would sit there and roll my eyes at the near falls because it just wasn’t going to happen.

Well this year it actually did happen. Brock Lesnar laid out the Undertaker with a third F5 and the Streak actually ended. I mean….it actually ended. There was no changing the ending, there was no interference, there was no changing the decision. The Streak actually ended and people weren’t sure how to feel. Some were angry, some were sad, but almost everyone was surprised.

On the other hand, we have Sting debuting. Since the day WCW ended, people have been waiting for Sting to finally show up in WWE. He was the one that got away from WWE (which for some reason means he isn’t good enough to get into Meltzer’s Hall of Fame, but a promoter in Argentina could. That still gets on my nerves.) but he FINALLY showed up at Survivor Series earlier this year. It was quite the moment and did everything it was supposed to and more. Also, major points to HHH for taking one heck of a Death Drop.

However, there’s one thing that holds it back for me: that video game commercial.

Earlier in the year, WWE reached an agreement with Sting to appear in WWE2K15, setting up an awesome video where a full orchestra in Sting masks played his music and Sting turned around to face the camera to end the video. It worked perfectly and made me want to but the game. Granted that would be stupid as I don’t have a video game console but you get the idea.

The problem though is it made me realize that Sting debuting was a matter of time. It was no longer about would Sting debut, but when would he debut. Now, it was still a major surprise that he finally showed up, but I knew it was coming at some point or another.

I can’t say that about the Streak. I truly believed that the Streak was never going to die, but I saw it with my own eyes. The reaction to the moment was pure shock and awe, which is the point of a surprise. The Streak being broken is the Surprise of the Year, and it’s one of the biggest of all time.




Wrestler of the Day – December 28: Sandman

Today we have a guy who was a fairly clean inspiration for some of Steve Austin’s antics: the Sandman.

Sandman got started at some point in the late 1980s to early 1990s. We’ll start with his best known promotion as he got started back in the early days of ECW as a surfer, hence the name Sandman. Here he is at Ultra Clash 1993.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Sandman

Sandman means nothing at all yet and is still from the beach. Shane is part of the Dangerous Alliance and has Heyman with him to a HUGE pop. Shane with dark hair is weird to put it mildly. He and Heyman leave for no apparent reason and the fans are all over Sandman. We do the ten count thing or Shane loses the title. He makes it by like 6 and here we go.

Shane has tassels on his boots ala Ultimate Warrior. That’s something he did later in his career and I never liked them on him. Small package gets two for Sandman and then Shane takes over. Remember that this is still just a regional title at the moment and it really means little at the end of the day. Shane dominates with basic stuff and this is yet again, boring.

The fans think this is boring and Joey says they’re cheering for Sandman. Not a bad little spin on it I guess. The camerawork begins an ECW tradition of not being able to stay on the action and instead looking at the empty part of the ring. Sandman with a flying tackle off the top and down goes the referee. Paul comes in with the phone and Shane gets a shot with it for two. A top rope cross body is rolled through and the tights end it for Shane as he retains.

Rating: D+. Not bad but if they were going for epic this was WAY too short. Sandman would begin his transformation into his more famous persona soon enough. Shane would be considered God in ECW forever and few would care. This was a title match for the sake of a title match and was pretty boring, much like most of the card. There were few storylines to speak of at this point, but that would all change soon enough.

He would start getting more violent though, including this match at The Night The Line Was Crossed.

Sandman/Tommy Cairo vs. Pitbull/Rockin Rebel

This is a dog collar chain match. Sandman is getting more ticked off at this point but is still a beach guy. Jason is managing Pitbull #1 (Gary Wolfe) for you ECW fans that care. Wolfe and Cairo are chained together as are the other combination. They might have been in the ring for 6 seconds and then they hit the floor. Rebel is busted open and I think Cairo is too. Well that didn’t take long.

It’s more general insanity but unlike the last show I did the cameras can actually zoom in a bit. You can barely see things but it’s better than not being able to see at all. You can tell who is who here and you can tell what they’re doing. Pitbull gets two in the ring on Cairo. A bunch of violence leads to Cairo pinning Pitbull with a belly to belly. More brawling follows.

Rating: D+. Not terrible I guess and there seemed to be a reason for this….whatever it was. Sandman would start his transformation soon enough and make himself an ECW legend, changing the company forever. At this point he was terrible though, as were the other three so there you are.

Sandman would become his usual self by 1995, including this match at November To Remember 1995.

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Sandman vs. Public Enemy

Woman manages Scorpio and Sandman who are champions (along with Scorpio being TV Champion) and come out to Whomp There It Is. Whoever gets the fall here faces Mikey Whipwreck later in the show for the world title. Woman is kind of hot actually. She could look rather good at times. Scorpio dances a lot while we’re waiting on the Public Enemy to get here.

I have no idea what the face/heel alignment is here but I think Public Enemy is face. According to Gertner the TV Title is on the line here also. Yeah apparently Sandman and Scorpio are the heels here. Sandman is billed from…..Utah? Seriously? Scorpio is doing a thing where he says he doesn’t weigh as much as he really does. He does have a gut on him.

Public Enemy is leaving soon after this for ECW apparently. Scorpio offers them a chance to leave so let’s have a dance off. Uh…..ok? Scorpio cuts a rug and Joey dances too. The camera catches him and his reaction is great. Rocco does a robot which isn’t horrible. Scorpio does one also and destroys him. And now we set dancing back about a thousand years with Sandman dancing too. Joey: “Yes but can he walk a straight line?” They want Woman to dance and it’s very short. Crowd is WAY into this.

The champs jump the dancing morons but Public Enemy clears the ring quickly. AND IT’S TIME TO DANCE! The music is still playing as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Just a hunch mind you. Ok so now we’re ready to go with Sandman vs. Grunge. Sandy grabs a headlock but is sent to the floor. Everything breaks down quickly and they all head to the floor.

Everyone grabs a chair and gets back in the ring for a good old fashioned duel. Sandman and Grunge are thrown to the floor and Scorpio follows. They fight up the aisle and a fan offers 2 Cold a frying pan. He steals someone’s prosthetic hand instead. Well why not? Sandman goes into the crowd and Grunge is busted open. He hits a splash for two on Scorpio as we’re bordering on having a regular match.

Rocco hits Sandman with a pumpkin pie and Sandy is in the crowd again. Woman pulls Sandman out of the crowd. Sandman tags himself in and he jumps over the top (!!!) with something like a dropkick. Rocco comes in and hits a headscissors to take over. Slingshot legdrop by Sandman but he doesn’t cover.

Off to Scorpio who hits a slingshot splash for two. Scorpio vs. Rock at the moment if you’re all lost. Rock avoids a dropkick and escapes a tilt-a-whirl, only to miss a moonsault. The fans chant for SD Jones for some reason as Scorpio hits a double underhook powerbomb which is broken up at two.

Standing moonsault eats knees and it’s off to Sandman. Rocco (they’re Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge if you’re totally confused by me changing named) still can’t bring in Grunge so Grunge comes in and pounds on Sandman. Woman cracks Rocco with a kendo stick and Sandman dives over the top to take out Grunge. Sandman gets backdropped onto a table which doesn’t break. FREAKING OW MAN.

Grunge finally goes through the table and everything breaks down even further. Rock hits a big moonsault to the floor as they need to end this soon. A broom handle is brought in from somewhere with Scorpio taking over with it. There it goes though so 2 Cold settles for a Stinger Splash and moonsault for two on Rocco. We’re tagging again now and Grunge gets the hot tag. Sandman comes in sans tag but Public Enemy screws up their finisher and Sandman falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Yeah this went too long. These guys aren’t the ones you want having seventeen minutes. This was better as a comedy match but then again I might have just wanted to see Woman dance. Either way, not much here and Sandman getting the pin was pretty much the only logical choice since he lost the title to Mikey in the first place.

Sandman was regularly the ECW Champion around this point, so here’s a title defense at House Party 1996.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Sandman is defending. Woman is with Sandman and is in a different dress than earlier tonight. Sandman has an abbreviated entrance here, only taking four and a half minutes to get into the ring. This is back when Konnan was young and awesome. Awesome to the point that he would be on Nitro in less than three weeks. The champ stalls a lot as the fans boo Konnan for some reason. Oh it’s because he sold out after being in ECW for just a few months.

Konnan takes him down by the arm and works over the champ’s legs. With the legs tied up, he hooks a suplex head grip and cranks away on Sandman in a cool submission. Sandman accidentally falls into a counter (Joey’s words) and it’s a standoff. Konnan takes him right back to the mat in a rolling neck lock. Even Joey doesn’t know what to call it. Sandman actually tries to sit out with Konnan and they head to the floor.

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sandman can’t superplex Konnan through the table and is thrown through it himself. Woman slaps Konnan, allowing Sandman to hit him in the head with a kendo stick. Rey Mysterio comes out and hands Konnan a cane of his own. Konnan gets in some shots with the cane but Sandman fires back. They both collapse and Woman pulls Sandman to his feet to beat the ten count (which should have ended when he was on his feet) and win the match.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that impressed here and the ending hurt it a lot. The other problem here was that with it being known that Konnan was leaving, he wasn’t a threat to take the title at all. Also this was before Sandman really had developed the limited in ring skills he would acquire, so this was a lot more of a fight than anything else. Nothing to see here but Konnan’s submissions weren’t bad.

I have to include a match from his long running feud with Raven, so here’s their match from Cyberslam 1996.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Sandman

Sandman, flanked by Missy Hyatt, finally starts his entrance after about two minutes of standing around. Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie quickly bail and the brawl is on after nearly eight minutes of entrances. Raven throws him outside and hits a plancha to take over. Sandman whips him into the barricade though and grabs a chair. He stands around for awhile before just kicking Raven in the head and walking around with him for awhile.

Back in and Sandman hits a delayed brainbuster before throwing Raven to the floor. There’s a plancha by the challenger before punching him into a chair back inside. Some Meanie interference lets Raven hit the Evenflow but Missy distracts the referee to prevent the pin. Sandman pops up and hits a DDT of his own, drawing in Raven’s chick Kimona. It’s catfight time and Stevie comes in for a superkick to give Raven two.

There goes the referee (like it matters) as Sandman “hits” a “legdrop” for two. The referee goes down again and here are Richards and Meanie to run interference. The Bruise Brothers (Harris Twins) come in with a double chokeslam for two on Sandman. Raven can’t get Sandman up for a suplex so he puts Sandman on top and pulls him face first onto the chair. The DDT on the chair retains Raven’s title.

Rating: D. Another overbooked mess that people call wrestling for some reason. The match was a glorified disaster but the best stuff in this feud was always the talking and storytelling. That being said, unfortunately we still had to sit through the wrestling and get driven crazy by the matches. Bad stuff here, again.

Here’s a rather infamous match from November To Remember 1997.

Sandman vs. Sabu

This is a tables and ladders match but you win by pinfall. Sabu gets tired of waiting and dives through the ropes to start the fight on the floor. Back in and the Triple Jump Moonsault gets two for Sabu but Sandman hits him with a forearm to knock Sabu into the ladder. Sabu gets thrown to the floor so Sandman launches a chair over the top and onto Sabu’s head. A hard whip sends Sandman into the barricade for Air Sabu up against the steel.

They take turns suplexing tables onto each other as Sandman seems to be favoring his arm. Sabu is laid on a table but it breaks before Sandman can do anything. Instead he takes Sabu over to another table and goes up for a top rope legdrop, only to miss Sabu completely and crash down to the floor. A piece of what’s left of the table is set up in front of the barricade but Sabu sends Sandman through it in a crash.

Sandman is laid on a table between the ring and the barricade and Sabu drives him through it with a springboard legdrop. Back in and Sabu kicks Sandman in the face for two before throwing a ladder at his head. Sandman pops back up like it was a flower but Sabu puts him on a table outside. Sabu gets on a ladder and tries to ride it down through Sandman but he leaves it about two feet short, meaning Sabu completely misses Sandman and the table and the ladder hits Sandman in the arm.

Now Sandman goes up for a flip dive to Sabu on another table but only hits table. Back in and Sabu’s Triple Jump Moonsault onto a ladder onto Sandman as the ring crew sets up more tables on the floor. Sabu gets superplexed onto a ladder but they botch a spot where the ladder is supposed to be catapulted into Sandman’s face. Instead he just kind of rolls over the ladder, prompting Sabu to throw the ladder at him and cut Sandman’s head open.

Sabu pulls out a fork and stabs Sandman’s cut before being sent outside so Sandman can throw yet another ladder at him. They try the teeter totter spot again but Sandman completely misses the ladder and just crashes down to the floor. This match is dying before my eyes. Back in and a swanton bomb onto a ladder crushes Sabu, followed by an electric chair drop. There has been one cover in the entire match. Another flip dive from the top through Sabu through a table goes badly as the table clearly breaks before any contact is made.

Back in and Sabu misses a fireball so Sandman goes after Alfonso, allowing Sabu to nail a top rope kick to the face. Sandman is nice enough to roll onto another table at ringside so Sabu can go up top with a ladder to drive Sandman through it again. Sabu takes him back inside for an Atomic Arabian Facebuster (Sabu goes up top, puts something metal under his legs and drops down onto Sandman) with a ladder to finally end this.

Rating: F. This was one of the least interesting things I’ve ever seen. Between the completely blown spots, the lack of selling for most of the match, this going about three times longer than it should have and the lack of anything in between the spots, this was the insanity that gives ECW it’s horrible reputation over the years. This wasn’t wrestling and had nothing to do with wrestling at all. I understand that ECW is about violence and going to the extreme, but there’s a way to go about that without looking horrible like this.

And a better match at Cyberslam 1998.

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman

Rotten and Mahoney come out in like a minute. Sandman’s should take roughly four….except he’s coming through the entrance like a normal wrestler. I’m not sure what to make of that. Somehow the entrance still takes nearly five minutes. Bubba is still a country hick and he talks down to Sandman a bit. He wants to wrestle so he gets caned in the head.

The brawl begins of course and Big Dick (the third Dudley) can’t be hurt by kendo stick shots. Instead he hits a chokeslam to Sandman and pounds away a bit. This is one of those matches where it’s just a wild brawl with no real coherence or anything like that. The Dudleys are in control here other than D-Von who is having issues with Axl. Balls hammers on Bubba as well as Sandman crashes to the floor. Oh that was an “elbow drop”. Got it.

Bubba vs. Balls in the ring at the moment. Superkick puts the future Bully down but Bubba manages a superplex of all things. We’ve got a cheese grater to the head of Rotten and he’s busted now. D-Von is beating on him now. There’s no tagging or semblance of order if for some reason you’re confused and were expecting some.

Mahoney is thrown into the crowd for a bit. All three Dudleys put him on a table while his partners are in the ring and down. Bubba goes up on some stage to dive off…and here’s New Jack. He clocks Bubba with a chair and dives onto Balls instead. Spike Dudley and Kronus are in the ring now and it’s a 9 man triple threat tag team match now. Sure, why not?

Dudley Boys vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/Sandman vs. Spike Dudley/John Kronus/New Jack

New Jack’s song plays throughout the match even though Spike and Sandman are the only guys in the ring. Spike gets a bunch of two counts off various small person offense. Sandman goes to the floor but Spike misses a baseball slide. Kronus is busted. Balls is busted. You can make your own jokes there. A standing version of the move that would become known as What’s Up hits New Jack.

The most famous combination of the Dudley Boys sets for the 3D on New Jack but Jack falls down. The big brawl is still going here but it’s far slower. Granted they’ve been fighting for over ten minutes, but why are the new guys so tired? Kronus and Sandman both work on Big Dick. Lucky. It’s table time but it’s not set up. Pretty much just random punches with an occasional weapon being used.

Mahoney gets a belly to back suplex on Spike and sets for a moonsault through the table. Spike pops up and gets something like a tornado DDT through the table to Balls. Axl hits a REALLY inverted reverse DDT to eliminate Spike’s team. Yes this is elimination now. Bubba calls for the 3D on Sandman but the partners interfere. Something resembling a Stun Gun onto a chair is enough for Sandman to pin Bubba and end this.

Rating: D+. I still don’t like these things but at the same time this wasn’t as bad as some of these got. The biggest issue of all is the time, as this ran nearly 20 minutes. Far too long but they kept it mostly entertaining. The extra three guys coming in helped as it energized things a bit. Not horrible but nothing we haven’t seen a few million times already.

The closest thing Sandman had to a steady partner was Tommy Dreamer, including this match at Heat Wave 1998.

Tommy Dreamer/Sandman vs. Dudley Boys

Joel introduces himself as Joel “The ladies call me Fred Flintstone because I make their bed rock” Gertner. Sandman and Dreamer cut off the introductions there though and spend several minutes on their own entrance. Sandman has a bad neck coming in due to the Dudleys’ attacks. Dreamer and Sandman spit beer into the Dudleys’ eyes to get rid of Big Dick and the brawl is on.

They quickly head to the floor where Sandman throws a table at Bubba. Dreamer drapes both Dudleys over the barricade and puts chairs over their backs so Sandman can dive onto both of them. Back in and Dreamer neckbreakers D-Von out of the corner as Sandman brings in a piece of barricade. Sandman gets sent hard into the steel and his neck is hurt again. Trainers check on Sandman before taking him out on a stretcher.

The Dudleys double team Dreamer with suplexes and headbutts as the match settles down. D-Von side slams Dreamer and tags in Bubba but Dreamer gets up and superplexes Bubba down for two. A big belly to back suplex plants Tommy but Gertner throws D-Von by mistake. The referee misses Tommy’s rollup though and a reverse 3D (belly to back from Bubba into a D-Von neckbreaker) plants Tommy.

Dreamer is crotched on the barricade and crushed with a Conchairto but Spike Dudley comes out with a missile dropkick to send the barricade into his brothers. An Acid Drop plants Bubba onto the barricade but the other Dudleys catch him in mid-air to block a dive. Tommy dives on all four of them as he’s up very quickly after that kind of a beating.

Back in and Big Dick hits a chokebomb on Dreamer but Spike saves him from another powerbomb. Beaulah comes in and lays out Gertner but has to leave before the Dudleys lay her out. Spike takes 3D and here’s the Sandman with his Singapore cane. Dreamer is back up and helps clean house, including a double DDT on the Dudleys for the double pin.

Rating: D. This was a mess but Dreamer’s lack of selling drove me crazy. How in the world can he take those kinds of shots to the head but pop right back up a few moments later? Spike coming in made sense and I didn’t mind it as someone had to help neutralize Big Dick, but the lack of selling got annoying in a hurry.

Sandman would be hired by WCW in what seemed like a shot at ECW more than anything else. Here he is in one of his highest profile matches on Nitro, March 22, 1999.

Goldberg vs. Hardcore Hak

Hak hammers him out to the floor to start but Goldberg no sells left hands back inside. Another leverage move sends Goldberg outside again for more punching but Goldberg slaps on a cross armbreaker back in the ring. That goes nowhere so Hak brings in the weapons, which only seem to tick Goldberg off. The Russian legsweep is easily countered and it’s the spear and Jackhammer for the easy pin. This was typical Goldberg.

Here’s one of his few pay per view matches from Great American Bash 1999.

Hak vs. Brian Knobs

I sit corrected: this is a kendo stick match and Knobs is officially part of the First Family. So why did he say he had to think about it? Tony calls this a kendo stick hardcore match because they can’t even keep their stupid gimmicks straight through a single entrance. Brian has promised Mrs. Nasty a birthday win today so let’s get rid of the sticks and have a real hardcore match. So in the span of 90 seconds we’ve gone from kendo stick to kendo stick hardcore to hardcore. I know it doesn’t matter but it sounds like WCW has no idea what they’re doing.

Brian wants to throw away the weapons but Jimmy throws him a trashcan for a cheap shot. Knobs hits him in the head with a trashcan lid and there’s the Pit Stop. Hak stops a charge with two boots to the face and blasts Knobs with the trashcan. It’s ladder time but Knobs comes back with a trashcan shot of his own. He gets decked by the ladder though and Hak hits a slingshot….something onto the ladder onto Knobs.

Hak gets thrown into the ladder in the corner and a few more ladder shots put him down. The advantage only lasts a few seconds as you would expect but Hak’s Swanton only hits ladder. Jimmy holds up a chair but Hak sends him face first into the steel, setting up a kendo stick shot for the pin.

Rating: F. We waited thirteen minutes for the matches to start and this is the best they can give us? The only positive about this is the match wasn’t even six minutes long, which is way better than the usual lengths that we have to sit through. It’s still bad though and I’m tired of seeing these disasters.

Sandman would head back to ECW as soon as he could and appeared on ECW on TNN, November 12, 1999.

Rhyno vs. Sandman

Actually scratch that as we go to Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney in the back who talk about beating up the Baldies. They’re in a bathroom and the Baldies jump out of the stalls to beat them down. You didn’t miss any of the match as that was all during Sandman’s entrance. Rhyno immediately gores him down and Corino steals the cane. A powerslam gets two and Rhyno yells at the fans. Sandman gets sent to the floor and then into the barricade to make it a matching set.

The drunk takes over by sending Rhyno into the steel and they go back inside. Why would Sandy want to go back into the ring? You see new stuff every day. The Heinken-rana (yes that’s really what it’s called) hits but Rhyno comes back with a powerslam for two. Rhyno misses a Swan Dive onto a chair and it’s a White Russian for Corino. Sandman canes Rhyno down and here’s Credible to cane Sandman. The match is thrown out somewhere in here.

Rating: D+. The fans liked it but this was much more of a brawl than a match. This was Sandman’s return from an injury so you can’t really blame him much for being out of rhythm. Then again that might be due to near alcohol poisoning but that goes without saying. There wasn’t much here but it was fun for the live crowd.

And again on the same show, December 10, 1999.

Justin Credible vs. The Sandman

Sandman has what looks like a broom. After a break Sandman is going after the cane but gets caught by a baseball slide to send him into the barricade. Justin rams him into a chair in the ring but Sandman gets a shot in of his own and heads to the floor where he climbs a magically appearing ladder. He climbs the ladder and then climbs back down, making this another pointless ECW sequence.

Justin puts the ladder in the corner between the ropes and due to wrestling law #1, is sent into it himself, getting a two for Sandy. The ladder is placed on the top rope and Justin is launched into it for two. A slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Justin gets two again and it’s time for another table. The table is set in the corner but Credible grabs a sleeper out of nowhere. Speaking of out of nowhere, here’s Rhyno to Gore both guys through the table. The White Russian Leg Sweep would seem to get the pin but Lance Storm comes in and hits a missile dropkick on Sandman to drive a chair into his face and give Justin the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a great contrast of two kinds of matches. The world title match had a coherent story to it (mostly) and both guys were hitting almost everything they used. This was a lot messier with the weapons being the focus of the match instead of the wrestlers in the ring, which is almost never a good thing.

Here’s Sandman trying to get another title at Heat Wave 2000.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.

A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.

Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.

One final title reign at Guilty As Charged 2001.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Steve Corino vs. Justin Credible

Sandman’s entrance is over three and a half minutes. Corino is defending and you have to climb a ladder to pull down the title for the win. The ladder is in the ring to start for a change. Corino, back in trunks, hammers on Sandman to start and dropkicks the ladder into Sandman in the corner. He tries the same thing to Justin but gets the ladder thrown at him instead. Sandman drops an elbow on the ladder on top of Corino as Justin looks for more weapons. He finds a second ladder but stops to punch Sandman for awhile.

Justin rides his ladder down onto the ladder on top of Corino but gets bulldogged down onto a ladder by Sandman. Corino canes Sandman down but the ladder falls down and hits Steve in the back. Justin puts the ladder around his neck and spins it around, only to have Sandman send him into the corner to jar his neck. Corino and Credible put a ladder on its side and use chairs to drive the top between Sandman’s legs.

Corino canes Justin in the corner before throwing Sandman over the top and through a table. Justin is sent face first into a chair with a drop toehold but Sandman is back in now with left hands to the face. Corino puts up a ladder but Sandman comes back with cane shots all around. A ladder hits Steve in the head as Justin has been busted open. Sandman suplexes Corino onto the ladder but heads outside to fight Credible some more.

Justin knocks Sandman down and heads back inside as Corino has bridged a table between the apron and barricade. All three are back in now and the champion sets up a ladder, only to be dropkicked off by Credible. Sandman is thrown through the bridged table and Corino catapults Justin into the ladder in the corner.

Old School Expulsion is countered into That’s Incredible as Francine hits a hurricanrana (work with me here) on Sandman outside. Justin is down as well but Sandman busts out a huge ladder. Credible and Corino climb up but the belt starts moving in a ripoff of King of the Ring 1999. Both guys fall off and go through a table, allowing Sandman to get the belt for the win.

Rating: D+. Somehow I actually liked this a bit. They didn’t bother wasting my time with anything other than insane brawling and it made the match a lot easier to sit through. Sandman winning at least offers some fresh blood to the title scene, even though it’s not the most interesting blood in the world.

The following match actually exists. From TNA Weekly PPV #33 on February 26, 2003.

AJ Styles vs. Sandman

Styles is a cocky heel here. Sandman of course takes his sweet time coming to the ring. AJ gets tired of waiting and dives off the apron to take Sandman down. They head to the mat for some “technical” wrestling, with AJ looking like he knows what he’s doing but Sandman looking drunk. A kick to the chest drops Sandman, but AJ actually wants to bring in some weapons.

Sandman comes to life with some left hands and counters the Raven drop toehold into the trashcan before pelting the can at AJ’s head. It’s table time with Sandman bridging one between the ring and the barricade. AJ fights back and puts Sandman on the table, only to crash through it in a big wipeout. The referee is of course fine with all this, but would you want to see Sandman try to work a regular match?

Back in and AJ dives over some kendo stick shots (nice sequence actually) and superkicks Sandman down. The Clash is countered with a stick shot to the head and Sandman catapults him into a chair in the corner. There goes the referee (like it matters) but Raven comes in to nail Sandman with a chair (which the referee saw), setting up a middle rope Styles Clash for the pin.

Rating: D+. I actually didn’t hate this and got into the story they were going for here: AJ is so good that he can beat anyone at their best match. See, the announcers actually put got that idea over instead cracking jokes that only they find funny or talking about some internet venture that WWE is pushing at the moment. On top of that, the match was actually entertaining with AJ moving around well enough and just letting Sandman do his hardcore stuff.

We’ll jump ahead about a year to TNA Weekly PPV #79 in something a bit more to Sandman’s liking.

CM Punk/Julio Dinero vs. Sandman/Terry Funk

This Funk’s TNA debut and Punk and Dinero (the Gathering) have James Mitchell with them. Sandman gets jumped to start and the brawl is on outside. Dinero and Funk hammer on each other in the ring with Funk hitting something like a Stunner. Sandman misses a charge into the barricade and Funk gets double teamed with Punk calling him an egg sucking dog. That has to be an old Funk insult. All four get back in but Terry misses the moonsault. Now we get hardcore as Sandman just staggers around ringside in a daze. A DDT onto a chair gives Punk two.

Quick pause here. This is one of the things I can’t stand about what hardcore wrestling has done to moves. I remember a Saturday Night’s Main Event where a DDT onto the concrete started a summer long feud between Jake Roberts and Ricky Steamboat. Here, a DDT on a chair gets two in a throwaway move. It really hurts a move like the DDT as well, which used to be devastating but now is something almost everyone uses. Unfortunately it’s hard to reverse and it would take a long time to make the move important again.

A spike piledriver gets the same and I could just copy and paste the previous paragraph a second time. There’s a double suplex for two more and Sandman is knocked to the floor again. Punk misses a hurricanrana and lands on Dinero by mistake, but thankfully he stops rotating when he knows it’s his partner. Sandman comes back in but gets thrown back first onto a stack of chairs. Something like a Demoliation Decapitator through the chair is enough to pin Sandman.

Rating: D. They kept this one short and that’s best for everyone involved. Again though, it gets ridiculous seeing a nearly 60 year old man (or any age for that matter) kicking out of big spots like that. The crowd barely even reacts to them anymore because they’ve seen so many big spots that it’s hard to care about something as tame as a DDT onto a chair. Here’s the thing: that last statement should be ridiculous, but it’s completely true.

Sandman would continue the ECW reunion tour at Hardcore Homecoming 2005.

Sandman vs. Raven

Does this need an explanation? Raven has Meanie and the Musketeer with him for no apparent reason. Raven REALLY needs to go back to the tshirt and the jeans. Raven makes fun of Sandmans entrance not being that cool. Were less than 48 hours from One Night Stand and one of the most awesome entrances of all time, so thats just very amusing.

Raven is apparently the only wrestler ever to have an action figure in WWE, WCW, ECW and TNA. Thatskind of cool I guess. It would be hilarious to see Raven just sitting around coming up with random thoughts like that. Ive never heard Raven talk this much and I like it. He picks on Hat Guy also, which has to be the highlight of his career.

Sandman has to beat Musketeer, who is dressed like a guy from 19th century France, to get to Raven. They have a sword vs. cane fight. They did this before I think and it was stupid then too. Remember the match hasnt started yet. Oh hey lets get the match going. Raven hits like 6 shots to Sandmans head with the cane before the ball shot puts him down.

We get a Johnny Polo chant. Geez has there ever been a guy that changed so much from one gimmick to another? And now we have Sandman in the Musketeers hat. Did that gimmick come to Paulie in a dream or something? Theres a ladder on the floor for no apparent reason. The fans that are standing up to see this get a nice SIT THE CENSORED DOWN chant. Sandman comes back and were in the ring with the ladder now.

We go back to the 80s with a handful of powder though as we get the DDT for two. Thats one issue I have here: 8 years ago this would have been over for about an hour but here it gets two. The other thing is its more or less impossible to have a guy actually be a heel which is ok but it can get a bit annoying though.

Sandman gets the White Russian Leg Sweep and then the Rolling Rock. Meanie comes in and completely misses the moonsault again. Not that Sandman moves, but Meanie just completely misses. They do another and he misses it again. The THIRD one finally hits it. And yep, it’s a complete mess now. Donny Allen, who apparently was the ECW jobber, comes out to beat up Sandman but Mikey runs him off. After offering a beer to Sandman, he turns on him for no apparent reason with the Whippersnapper for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was a wild brawl and that’s all it was supposed to be. Raven outsmarts Sandman again as Joey says and all is right with the world. What more can you really ask for? Both guys get pops though, which is never really that interesting but whatever. It was a fun match so that’s fine.

From two days later at One Night Stand 2005, one of my favorite shows ever.

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys.

Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys. That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I think. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least.

Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd. The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest and licking it off, one of which is Elektra.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny as all goodness and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it.

And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.” For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it.

Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the tar chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head, just for the chaos that must be in there. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: A. Oh come on what else do you think this is going to be? This was the huge mess that it was supposed to be with all of the cameos to make things even more entertaining. Sandman’s entrance is one of the best ever and just rocks the whole place. Couple that with the sheer entertainment aspect and the fans going as crazy as they did and it’s a total blast.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the tar caned out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma! “Somebody get me a beer!”

Sandman would be around for some of ECW on Sci-Fi, including this match on October 3, 2006.

Sandman/Sabu vs. Big Show/Matt Striker

So I guess Sabu and Big Show are still feuding somehow. Sabu and Show start with the giant being clean shaven now. That’s kind of a good look for him. Show clotheslines Sabu down and tosses him around with ease. Off to Striker and Sabu gets on offense quickly, hitting a springboard leg lariat and some dropkicks to take over. Sabu is knocked to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show coming in to headbutt Sabu down followed by a suplex which gets two for the tagged in Striker.

Striker kicks Sabu low to knock him to the floor again. Striker hooks a cravate and Sabu is in trouble again. Matt goes up but jumps into a spin kick in a bad looking spot. Sandman finally gets the hot tag and the beating begins. Striker tries to go up but Sandman blasts him with a left hand and the Heinekenrana gets two. The White Russian leg sweep is broken up by Show, who splashes Sandman to give Striker the pin.

Rating: D+. The problem here is that this is just a tag match. Sabu can hang in a match for the most part but Sandman is dull when he can’t use his weapons. This was just your standard tag match which bordered on a squash. Show is being put over stronger than almost anyone I’ve ever seen which is good for him but bad for everyone else.

Somehow he made it to Wrestlemania XXIII.

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

It’s Elijah Burke/Matt Striker/Kevin Thron/Marcus Cor Van vs. Rob Van Dam/Tommy Dreamer/Sabu and for no reason whatsoever this is a regular eight man tag instead of the Extreme Rules match we would get on ECW a few days later. Striker starts with Sabu and Matt is in early trouble. It’s quickly off to Sandman vs. Burke but before Sandy does much he brings in Dreamer. Cor Von hits Dreamer in the back and comes in to pound away a bit.

It’s quickly back to Burke (the New Breed’s leader and more famous as D’Angelo Dinero) for the running knees to the back for two. Thorn comes in to crush Dreamer into the corner and put on a chinlock. Back up and a sitout powerbomb gets two for Thorn and here’s Cor Von again. Burke comes in as well but Dreamer takes them down with a simultaneous neckbreaker/reverse DDT combo. The hot tag brings in Van Dam and there’s the top rope kick to Thorn. Rolling Thunder lands on Striker as everything breaks down. With everyone else on the floor, Van Dam Five Stars Striker for the pin.

Rating: D+. Seriously, why wasn’t this the Extreme Rules match? The whole point of ECW is to be extreme but we got a seven minute tag match which went nowhere at all. The theory was to finally let these guys get on Wrestlemania, but Van Dam had been on it before and won a title here. Nothing to see here at all.

We’ll wrap it up there because the Sandman just made it to Wrestlemania.

This was a rare instance where my opinion on the guy changed the more I thought about him. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that Sandman isn’t much of an in ring worker. It was no secret that the guy was horrible in the ring, but that’s not the point. What Sandman was great at was giving the fans a thrill and firing them up more than anyone else in ECW history. Sandman was an attraction, and often times that’s more important than being a good wrestler. Yeah he could be horrible, but the fans were NEVER bored, which is a lot more than you can say for a lot of wrestlers over the years.

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