It’s the go home show for Takeover II next week and we now have a main event set. This week we’re likely going to be setting the stage for the fatal fourway next week with Adrian Neville defending against Tyler Breeze, Sami Zayn and Tyson Kidd. We also have the finals of the #1 contenders tag team tournament. Let’s get to it.

Before the opening sequence we hear about the card tonight, which will see the tournament finals and all four men in the fourway in singles matches.

Opening sequence.

Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Charlotte takes her down with a headlock but Bliss goes to the middle rope for an armdrag followed by a headscissors. That’s enough for Charlotte as she chokes Bliss on the middle rope to take over. Bliss rolls through a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two but walks into Bow Down to the Queen for the pin at 2:22.

Bayley comes out post match and says it’s time Charlotte took her seriously, because she’s seriously taking the title at Takeover. She offers a handshake but Charlotte shoves her instead. Charlotte walks over to her and gets caught in a bad looking Belly to Bayley.

Breeze says he’ll win the title because he looks better than everyone else.

Kenta debuts next week and will be wrestling under that name.

Sin Cara and Kalisto say they have a great opportunity tonight and have the heart to beat the Ascension.

Tye Dillinger vs. Tyler Breeze

Dillinger jumps over Tyler in the corner to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Breeze gets all aggressive and stomps Tye down in the corner before putting on a front facelock. Back up and the Beauty Show is good for the pin at 2:40.

Kidd says he’ll win the title because he’s been around the world and is cocky and arrogant, but he’s earned the right to be.

Enzo and Big Cass at a beauty salon and goes in to see a friend of his to get some hair removal cream (I hope it’s Freebird brand) for the hair vs. hair match against Sylvester LeFort next week. A very effeminate man comes in and freaks them out so they get in an argument over who should test the cream. They spill it on a dog and the stylist freaks out as they look in shock and say the cream really works.

Tyson Kidd vs. Adam Rose

There are far too many people here with names that start with Ty. Kidd takes him into the corner for some knees to start. Rose comes back with elbows to the face, only to walk into a suplex. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rose fights up with forearms and elbows to the jaw. Kidd dropkicks the knee out and puts on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 4:11.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash and Kidd looked good throughout. The fourway next week is going to be awesome and this was a good step to get us to that match. Rose is done at this point save for comedy and that’s all he was ever going to become. Then again, it’s not like any of this matters on the main show as NXT is in its own world.

Sami Zayn says he wants to beat Neville because Adrian is the champion.

The Vaudevillains, in black and white of course, promise that they’ll win the tournament. Aiden insists that Gotch can move mountains and Simon adds a hearty EXCELSIOR!

Sami Zayn vs. Marcus Louis

They trade wristlocks to start until Marcus gets him down into a chinlock. Sami finally fights up with a kick to the ribs and a clothesline followed by a nice dropkick. He easily takes Louis down and puts on the Koji Clutch for the tap at 2:59.

Enzo and Big Cass run out and try to use the cream on LeFort’s hair but Sylvester escapes.

Adrian Neville knows he doesn’t have to be pinned or submit to lose the title and he loves the challenge.

CJ Parker vs. Adrian Neville

Non-title again. Renee accuses Parker of using REGULAR gasoline recently. Neville spins around to start and takes Parker to the mat with a headlock. Parker fights back up with a spinwheel kick for two but misses a top rope splash. Adrian scores with some kicks of his own and the Red Arrow is good for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: C-. Neville has been a really good champion so far but I have no idea if he holds onto the belt next week. That’s the best thing you could ask for going into a big match as it really could go wither way. I love that Parker is now a lowly jobber as the fans absolutely could not stand him and he didn’t have the skill to stay at the level he was on.

Tag Team Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Vaudevillains vs. Sin Cara/Kalisto

The Vaudevillains beat Bull Dempsey/Mojo Rawley and Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady to advance while Kalisto/Sin Cara defeated Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy and Adam Rose/Sami Zayn to get here. Kalisto spins English around to start and Aiden is quickly frustrated. It’s quickly off to Sin Cara vs. Gotch with the masked man being dropped ribs first onto the top rope and out to the floor.

English comes back in to hammer away in the corner, only to walk into a cross body. A double tag brings in Kalisto for a headscissors to Gotch. Something like the La Mistica faceplant gets two and everything breaks down. Cara dives over the top rope to take out English, sending him head first into the stge. Gotch catches Kalisto’s cross body but walks into the Salida Del Sol, followed by the Swanton from Sin Cara to give them the title shot at 5:50.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. I don’t think anyone expected a different outcome and that’s the right way to go. The luchadors are on a roll heading into the title match next week and there’s a chance the titles could finally change. Basic power vs. speed match here but it was fine.

Ascension comes out for a staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best go home shows I can remember in a very long time. Almost every Takeover match got some time and it set up the fourway perfectly. I can’t wait for the show now and based on the house show reports, the fourway has the potential to be a classic. Throw in the fact that all three titles could easily change hands and Enzo vs. LeFort could be a very solid comedy match and Takeover II is shaping up great.

Results
Charlotte b. Alexa Bliss – Bow Down to the Queen
Tyler Breeze b. Tye Dillinger – Beauty Show
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
Sami Zayn b. Marcus Louis – Koji Clutch
Adrian Neville b. CJ Parker – Red Arrow
Sin Cara/Kalisto b. Vaudevillains – Swanton bomb to Gotch

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http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-lets-go-home/28325/

We’re still in New York and things are actually going well for TNA, at least on screen. Last week we saw a really good tag team match and the World Title scene is starting to take shape. That being said, Bound For Glory is getting closer and closer and there really isn’t much taking shape for the biggest show of the year. Other than penciling in the finals of the tag team series, there isn’t a major challenger on the horizon for Lashley. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event. Team 3D gets to pick the stipulation for the next match.

Here’s the Trio with something to say. MVP says Lashley is about to become the Bellator World Champion and says no one can stop him. This brings out Samoa Joe to praise MVP for his skills as a hype man. Joe says Lashley isn’t the toughest man in the world, the city, or even in this ring. He wants to drop these belts and have a fight right now. King gets in Joe’s face and the brawl is on. Referees break them up and MVP makes Joe vs. Lashley later.

Video on Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim. They make this sound WAY bigger than it really is.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Gail is defending and quickly takes her down to start. A rollup gets two for Terrell and a middle rope clothesline gets the same. Gail comes right back with a top rope hurricanrana, followed by a DDT on the arm. She misses the charge in the corner though and falls out to the floor. Taryn loads up the steps but gets caught in a neckbreaker onto the steel which knocks both girls silly. Back in and Eat Defeat gets two, followed by an RKO for the same for Taryn. Gail is staggered so Terrell goes up for a high cross body, only to have Gail roll through to retain at 6:00.

Rating: C+. The match was decent but the fans chanting THIS IS AWESOME shows how lame womens’ wrestling has been lately. It was entertaining but awesome is a stretch to put it mildly. This was miles beneath the stuff they did a year or so ago but it still wasn’t bad. The division is pretty horrible anymore though as there’s barely a division to speak of.

We might get a solution to that here though as Havok debuts and destroys Taryn with White Noise and Gail with a one arm chokeslam.

MVP tells Eric Young to watch out for Roode tonight.

The BroMans try to get a phone signal to find out who they’ve been matched up with on their dating game.

Here’s EC3 to rip on the fans cheering for Dixie being powerbombed through a table. The Carter charity is ending and Rhino will be the first victim. Carter has a list of demands: the firing of Bully Ray, the banning of the words violence and extreme, and the ending of YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants due to him proving his skills. The fans start a CM Punk chant and Ethan says he’d love to beat him too. Rhino jumps the barricade and beats Carter up, only to have SPud pull Ethan to the floor. Rhino wants a fight right now and Carter says it’s on….against Spud.

Some chick is admiring Samuel Shaw when Gunner comes up to ask about Shaw putting on Gunner’s uniform. Shaw says he wanted to look like a hero and Gunner says it’s cool.

Samuel Shaw/Gunner vs. Bram/Magnus

Shaw nails a nice dropkick on Magnus to start before it’s quickly off to Gunner for a double back elbow. Bram comes in and rams Gunner face first into the buckle for no effect, so Gunner does the exact same thing to the Brit. A finger to the eye stops Gunner so Shaw tags himself in, much to Gunner’s annoyance. Shaw and Magnus clothesline each other and a double tag brings in Gunner to run over Bram. A slingshot suplex gets two on Bram but Gunner has to nail Magnus. Gunner hurts his knee coming off the middle rope, allowing Bram to clip him for a pin at 4:02.

Rating: D+. I’m still not sure where they’re going with Gunner and Shaw and I really don’t care for the most part. Shaw is a character instead of a wrestler and that’s ok for the most part, but this story really doesn’t make very interesting television. This story has been going on for months now and it really hasn’t gone anywhere yet. The characters aren’t the best in the first place, making the whole thing really tiring.

MVP reminds Roode of his past issues with Young.

The BroMans aregue some more until the Beautiful People come up as their dates. DJZ is told to get them on the guest list for every club.

Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode

These two got out of a cage at the same time so this is a singles match for the next World Title shot. Tenay tries to explain MVP’s comments by saying Roode was a bigger deal in Team Canada but that Young was never subservient to Bobby. That’s true, but there’s no mention made of the time where Roode owned Young’s TNA contract and treated him like a slave. Feeling out process to start until Young takes him down with a headlock.

An early piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop and Roode kicks him in the face to take over. Young backflips over the corner and goes up top for a missile dropkick and two. Roode comes right back with a Blockbuster and the spinebuster for two each. A wheelbarrow suplex gets the same for Eric, even though he missed the accompanying neckrbeaker.

Young busts out a moonsault for another near fall but he gets caught in the Crossface. He rolls out for two and nails a DDT on Roode for the same. There’s the top rope elbow but Bobby kicks out again. Eric’s piledriver is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Roode hitting the Roode Bomb for the pin and the title shot at 8:17.

Rating: C. The match was good but there wasn’t much emotion to this for the most part. It also doesn’t help that Young just does not feel like a main eventer and the ending wasn’t really in doubt. I’m also not a fan of how far back TNA goes for its history. They’re bringing up issues these guys had about ten years ago for the backstory and if you weren’t around back then, none of what they’re talking about makes sense.

They shake hands post match.

Lashley stares Roode down in the back.

To no one’s surprise, Team 3D picks a tables match for the second match in the tag team series. Ray has lost track of how many Tag Team Titles they’ve won.

Homicide vs. DJZ vs. Craazy Steve vs. Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno

Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future and this is one fall to a finish. Low Ki hammers on Tigre to start before hitting a kind of spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same with all four other guys making the save. Off to Manik vs.Homicide with the masked man being sent into the ropes for a tag to DJZ.

Steve comes in with a sunset flip for two on DJZ before everything breaks down. DJZ and Steve are sent to the floor with Low Ki and Tigre being backdropped after them. Manik and Homicide trade some suplex attempts until Manik jumps into a cutter. The Gringo Killa gives Homicide the title shot at 4:32.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There’s no story, there’s no psychology, there’s absolutely nothing we haven’t seen before. This division is such a disaster at this point as it’s back to the old habit of some big multiman match to set up a one off title shot and then do it all over again. That gets really old really fast and we reached that point a long time ago.

Sanada comes in and superkicks Manik while James Storm watches from ringside. They drag the unconscious Manik to the back.

Austin Aries is in the ring to talk about his skin being green from the mist attack last week. He calls out Sanada and Storm but James insists that this is the GREAT Sanada. He welcomed Sanada with open arms, just like he will with Manik. Storm instills a vision of greatness in these people, all led by the legend himself.

Sanada is going to be the greatest man that ever came out of Japan and the man people think of instead of the Great Muta. Aries doesn’t like the word great being thrown around this much and says both guys have ticked off a lot of people. He didn’t come here alone, so here’s Tajiri to help in the fight. The good guys clean house and Storm slaps some sense into Sanada. Tajiri looks less intimidating without his goatee.

Spud isn’t sure why he’s facing Rhino but Ethan threatens to fire Spud if he doesn’t go out there.

We recap Chris Melendez’s debut last week. He debuts next Wednesday.

Rockstar Spud vs. Rhino

Rhino throws him into the corner to start and then gorilla presses him down. Spud gets in a few shots to the back and Rhino just gets mad. The Gore misses and Spud brings in a trashcan. He takes too long to pose though and the Gore ends Spud at 2:34.

Carter leaves Spud behind.

Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe

Non-title. The brawl starts on the floor with Joe sending Lashley flying off a suplex. Back in and Joe nails a few Facewashes followed by the running boot to the face. Joe puts on a guillotine choke but Lashley drives him into the corner and scores with a neckbreaker. We hit the chinlock on Joe for a bit before Lashley leapfrogs him into a clothesline. Back to the nerve hold for a few moments before Joe plants him for two. Lashley powerslams him off the top but misses the spear. Joe puts on the choke but has to deal with Kenny King. The distraction lets Lashley hit a full nelson slam and the spear for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: D+. Another watchable match but not much more than that. TNA really needs to work on its big showdowns as these matches that are supposed to be huge come off more like filler. This didn’t do anything for me and just made the X-Division Champion look weaker than the World Champion.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t bad but this show felt like it went on forever. The problem for TNA right now is it feels like they’re just spinning their wheels and waiting for Bound For Glory to get here, but the more shows like this, the less interesting it sounds. Other than the Aries vs. Storm feud, nothing on here feels like it matters or holds any interest. They’re just people going out there and then moving on to next week. It isn’t terrible, but there’s no emotion to it and that makes for some very long shows.

Results
Gail Kim b. Taryn Terrell – Kim rolled through a high cross body
Bram/Magnus b. Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Clip to Gunner
Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb
Homicide b. Tigre Uno, Manik, DJZ, Craazy Steve and Low Ki – Gringo Killa to Manik
Rhino b. Rockstar Spud – Gore
Lashley b. Samoa Joe – Spear

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Today is old 8 3/8 himself, Albert.

Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert

This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.

Let’s try a bit longer match, from Smackdown on January 13, 2000.

Hardy Boys vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert

This is before Lita joined the team so it’s Terri with them here. Albert is currently known as Tensai. He and Jeff get us going with Jeff having to evade a lot. Off to Matt for some successful double teaming on the current Japanese enthusiast. Albert gets Matt up for a spinning rack neckbreaker and it’s off to Bossman. He beats Matt down even more and kidnaps Terri which goes nowhere. Everything breaks down and Jeff avoids a charging Albert, sending him into Bossman. Albert and Bossman had been arguing a lot lately so while they fight some more, Jeff dropkicks Bossman into Alberto and rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here really but it was all about splitting up Albert and Bossman for good, which needed to be done. Bossman would do nothing of note while Albert would join T&A which gave us some very hot shots of Trish Stratus. The match was nothing of note though and was just there as a means to an end.

We’ll head back to PPV now with Backlash 2000 as Albert is now part of T&A with Test.

T&A vs. Dudley Boys

Brawl to start of course and Bubba chases Trish around on the floor. Albert and D-Von get us going with the future Japanese bore taking control. D-Von takes him down for two and I have no idea who the faces are and who the heels are here. Off to Bubba who takes his head off with a clothesline. That and an elbow drop both get two. Off to D-Von and the Dudleys hit a double suplex and the yet to be named What’s Up.

Albert comes back with a bicycle kick and it’s off to Test. Double splashes in the corner get two on D-Von. I could listen to Bubba Dudley yell from an apron all day. I’d get pretty bored but I certainly could do it. The big evil (I think?) ones double team D-Von. Albert slams Test onto D-Von and shouts to TESTIFY TO THAT. Bubba: “SHUT UP!” The fans of course want tables but D-Von gets a neckbreaker on Test instead.

The referee misses the tag to Bubba and the beating continues. Albert hits his slingshot into the bottom rope for two. A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for D-Von, but he’s quickly powerbombed for the same. The fans want tables and Trish isn’t sure what to think. Albert goes up but Bubba distracts him, allowing D-Von to hit a superplex and make the hot tag.

Reverse 3D (called the 3D by JR of course) gets two. Baldo Bomb kills Bubba but D-Von pulls him away from the big elbow. The Dudleys load up the REAL 3D (as in Bubba gets a running start) but Trish offers a distraction by taking her jacket off and shaking her hips. Keep in mind that this is before Trish let herself go in 2001/2002, and yes I said that right. That lets Test kick Bubba’s head off for the pin.

Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.

Time for a six man tag on Raw, June 5, 2000.

Rikishi/Too Cool vs. T&A/Val Venis

Too Cool are tag team champions here. That’s one of the great things about this time period: Too Cool got WAY over while feuding with the Radicals over the spring and the company saw potential in them. Instead of jobbing them out for months, they gave them the tag titles at the end of May as a reward, while also giving them extra credibility. Today you would see them jobbed out in stupid comedy matches or left off television entirely for getting over against the writers’ wishes. I mean, why would you want to have the wrestlers get over themselves, therefore doing the writers’ work for them?

Test and Scotty start things off with Mr. Hotty clotheslining Test down and bringing in Grandmaster for their double elbow. Albert (Tensai) comes in and tries to ram Grandmaster into the buckle but pulls his hat off instead. A middle rope dropkick puts Albert down and it’s off to Val vs. Rikishi, but the other big men triple team the Samoan down. Albert tries a sunset flip but Rikishi sits his 400lbs down on his chest. Everything breaks down and Scotty hits the Worm on Test, followed by the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop) but there’s no referee. In the confusion, Val hits Grandmaster with a title belt for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything for me although I forgot how stunning Trish was at this point. I’m also not clear on the reason behind having Too Cool win the titles last week and then lose in a six man here. The match wasn’t much but it would set up two different feuds in the future so it’s not all bad.

Back to Backlash as Albert is now part of the X Factor team.

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

Albert would get in on the InVasion and took the Intercontinental Title from Kane in a match that is hard to find in full. Here’s a defense from Raw on July 9, 2001.

Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert

Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.

Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.

Albert would appear on the post 9/11 episode of Smackdown.

X-Factor vs. APA

X-Factor is X-Pac and Albert. Pac has the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. Pac vs. Farrooq to start us off with the tiny guy getting hammered down very quickly. Pac gets some kicks in and here’s Bradshaw, making the tiny guy run. Off to Albert vs. Bradshaw and down goes Albert to a big boot. JR talks about dipping Bradshaw’s fist in barbecue sauce.

Vader Bomb by Albert misses and it’s off to Simmons. BIG bicycle kick takes his head down as JR is planning a road trip with Heyman to Oklahoma. Spinebuster takes Pac down and it’s back to Bradshaw vs. Albert. Fallaway Slam sends X-Pac flying. Albert misses a splash and the Clothesline From JBL (complete with a Hook Em Horns sign) ends this with relative ease.

Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the commentary was hilarious. I have no idea if they were talking in code or if this was just random chatter to fill in time but it cracked me up. JR can be funny when he’s not taking himself far too seriously. The APA was far past their prime here but they could still fight.

Another tag team match at Vengeance 2001.

Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Christian/Test

GO BACK TO THE OLD GUYS! Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at the moment. Egads. They aren’t the Unamericans yet. And the Heat match was the APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Why can’t we see that instead? You know these reviews aren’t really as angry as they used to be. Granted that could be because these shows are far less insulting to my intelligence. They may be weaker shows but they’re competent at least which is more than a lot of shows give you.

Christian is European Champion at the time. Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at this point. Take me now. And remember people: this guy was INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. He was one of those guys that always seemed like was on the verge of a big push but it never happened. Lawler makes some bad jokes about potential names for the faces. He’s just making this more painful if that’s somehow possible. Wow it’s weird seeing Teddy Long as a worthless referee.

Far more used to him being a useless GM. Scotty and Test work the majority of this match for reasons that completely elude me. Oh look it’s Albert vs. Christian rather than Test vs. Albert, as in you know, FORMER TAG PARTNERS FIGHTING. I guess that would make too much sense. We get a Giant Swing and a Don Leo Jonathan reference. Wow indeed. Albert just massacres both heels.

With some tweeking to his gimmick, he could have been passable. And now Christian does the Worm. We get a surprisingly decent sequence as Scotty is down. And of course we get the Worm. These kinds of moves are just stupid. A simple bulldog keeps Test down for about 20 seconds which it takes for the setup for it? See why that’s idiotic? Baldo Bomb, a two handed chokeslam into a powerbomb, ends it. It actually got a pop.

Rating: D. Just…why? What in the world was the point of having this match on PPV? This was something that belonged on Velocity or Heat or something like that. It was as generic as you could ask a match to be also. This was just a head scratcher and not that good, especially on a pay per view.

Albert spent a lot of time on the low level weekend shows in 2002. We’ll pick things up at Armageddon 2002 with Albert now known as A-Train.

Edge vs. A-Train

A-Train is freshly renamed here. I think this is Survivor Series fallout. Oh never mind. Actually it was an attack on Smackdown as A-Train is trying to get noticed I guess. Edge has a torn MCL which doesn’t need surgery. A-Train also injured Rey and put him out so this is also a revenge match. Train takes over with power to start but gets sent into the post shoulder first. Edge goes for the knee of course but you can’t do everything right I guess.

Train gets a powerslam for two and the power beating is on. Off to the chinlock as I guess three minutes of action was too much for Train. Edge hammers him into the corner but can’t get very far with it. After a near fall Edge hits a pretty cool move with a spinning Edge-O-Matic off the middle rope. Something off the top jumps into a bicycle kick so Train goes for a chair. That fails and a top rope cross body gets two. Chokebomb gets two. Train grabs the chair again but a spear hits him, surprisingly only for two. And never mind as a chair to the bad knee of Edge ends this in a DQ.

Rating: D+. WWE was in a weird place here as the Smackdowns were incredibly and were giving up 10-15 minute awesome matches so they had to have matches like these somewhere. Pretty much nothing here as Train was awful as usual and Edge was good but not a miracle worker. The ending sucked too.

A-Train would hook up with Big Show to try and end Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania XIX.

Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show

Taker avoids a sneak attack to start and hits a quick chokeslam on A-Train for two. Big Show pulls him to the floor though and will be starting it seems. Taker has to fight out of the wrong corner and it’s quickly off to A-Train. The dead man busts out a LEAPFROG of all things before taking A-Train down with a back elbow. Old School hits but Taker has to punch Big Show instead of covering.

The Derailer (chokebomb) puts Taker down and Big Show rams him into the post for good measure. Back in and A-Train hits a slingshot into the middle rope for two. Big Show comes in again and all Taker can do is throw desperate right hands. A Big Show chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar of all things but A-Train comes in to break it up. Taker throws him in a cross armbreaker but Big Show legdrops him to take control.

Off to an abdominal stretch by Big Show to slow things down a bit. A-Train adds in some cheating before coming in for an abdominal stretch of his own. Now Taker counters into one of his own to complete the set (You can own them all!), only to have A-Train hip toss his way out of it. A-Train clotheslines him down and talks some LOUD trash before Taker comes back with right hands. A running DDT gets two for Taker but it’s back to Big Show.

Taker is like screw this defense stuff and pounds away on Big Show in the corner before running across the ring over and over for clotheslines to both guys. The jumping clothesline puts Show down but a bicycle kick from A-Train puts him down all over again. There’s a Big Show chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to knock out Big Show with a spin kick. Jones come in and kicks A-Train down, setting up the Tombstone to continue the Streak.

Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Taker doing what he could with two guys this size. It was kind of slow, but there’s only so much you can do with this kind of a clash of styles and no partner for the Dead Man. While definitely not memorable or anything, it did well enough at what it was supposed to do, bad musical number aside.

We’ll wrap up the first WWE run at No Mercy 2003.

A-Train vs. Chris Benoit

A-Train got probably the biggest push of his career at this point as he was in the midcard. This would more or less be the last part of said push. Tazz: “They love pierced nipples in Denmark.” Benoit tries to go for the knee but A-Train runs him over with the power. Train throws him to the floor again and Benoit isn’t sure what to do with him. A-Train takes over again and pounds him down, hitting a splash for two.

We talk about Stu Hart dying three days before this as A-Train stomps away even more. Cole praises him as he always does while Train pounds on Benoit’s neck in the corner. He hits that slingshot into the middle rope move he used most of the time to further work on Benoit’s neck. Train loads up a Pedigree grip but lifts Benoit into the air and drives Benoit’s head into his knee, getting two and a busted mouth for the Wolverine.

Benoit fires back but Train rams him down with a double ax to the chest. Off to a bow and arrow hold but Benoit speeds things up and hits a DDT to slow the Train down. In a big change of pace, the American hits a German on the Canadian to put him down. A-Train goes to the floor and pulls in a chair. Train tries something on Benoit but Benoit tries to slide down into a sunset flip. Instead, Benoit falls and lands ON HIS HEAD on the chair. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Benoit grabs the Crossface but A-Train counters. Instead it’s Rolling Germans time but A-Train gets up and slams him off the top to counter the Swan Dive. The bald one mocks the Benoit throat slit signal and looks to go up. He realizes how crazy that would be and comes down for a Derailer (chokebomb) instead. That only gets two so he loads up the bicycle kick. He kicks through the chair in the corner though, making Benoit dragon screw him and the Sharpshooter gets the tap.

Rating: C. This was better than I would have expected, but then again it’s Benoit against a big monster. That’s probably what he’s second best at and it worked well here. A-Train wouldn’t mean anything after this and after Benoit took everything he had, I can’t say I disagree with that. Decent match but I’m not sure it belonged on PPV.

A-Train would head to Japan in 2005 and call himself Giant Bernard. We’ll pick things up in NJPW on May 3, 2006.

IWGP World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Giant Bernard

Brock is defending and is wearing red for some reason. Bernard powers him into the corner but gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. They stare each other down and Bernard takes Brock’s head off with a clothesline. Another one puts the champion on the floor but he sends Bernard face first into the post. Back in and Brock stomps away but Bernard takes him down and drives in forearms to the head.

Lesnar works on a Fujiwara Armbar before muscling him over in a belly to belly. Brock follows him to the floor but gets knocked off the apron coming back in. Back in and Brock puts on the armbar again before driving pounding with forearms in the corner. Bernard comes back with some shoulders to the ribs and a Baldo Bomb for two. A big boot drops Lesnar again and a Vader Bomb gets two. The F5 is countered and Bernard nails a German suplex for two. Brock is all like, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A GERMAN and even plants Bernard with a DDT. They slug it out and Lesnar muscles him up for the F5 to retain.

Rating: C. Nice power brawl here but Bernard wasn’t much better than he was over in America. This was an awkward period for Lesnar as he didn’t look as dominant as he did in WWE and wasn’t the superstar he would become later. He looked decent but it didn’t have anywhere near the fire that he was known for.

Here’s another big Japan match from February 15, 2009.

Giant Bernard vs. Kurt Angle

Bernard throws him down to start so Angle tries right hands to the jaw. That earns him another shove to the floor so Angle can have a breather. Back in and he kicks at Bernard’s knee but gets throw right back across the ring. Bernard chokes a lot and Bernard’s partner Tomko trips Angle up. Someone that looks like Karl Anderson chases Tomko off and they head back out to the floor so Angle can be sent into the barricade.

Back in and a delayed vertical suplex gets two for Bernard and we hit the choking again. Angle gets thrown to the mat one more time and a splash gets two. Bernard hooks a bodyscissors on Angle before choking even more. Kurt rolls to the apron and gets suplexed back in. We hit the bearhug for a bit before Bernard’s Vader Bomb hits knees. Angle rolls some Germans but walks into the Baldo Bomb for two.

Bernard kicks out of the ankle lock but gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle misses the moonsault and another Baldo Bomb gets two. Back to the ankle lock but Chono and Anderson get in a fight on the floor for a distraction. Anderson comes in but accidentally kicks Bernard, allowing the Angle Slam and ankle lock to make Bernard tap.

Rating: C. This was basically a Bernard squash until the last few minutes. Angle was doing all his old favorites here and it was already getting old at this point. Bernard still doesn’t feel like anything interesting and more like the same guy he was in America but having longer matches. Not bad here but nothing great.

We’ll jump ahead a few years to another big match for Bernard, though this time as part of a tag team. From Wrestle Kingdom V on January 4, 2011.

IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Bad Intentions vs. Muscle Orchestra

You know Beer Money. Muscle Orchestra is a pair of very big guys with big muscles, and Bad Intentions are the champions and are comprised of Karl Anderson, a member of the Anderson family allegedly, and Giant Bernard, more commonly known as Albert/A-Train. JB does the intros here. The Muscle Orchestra is Strong Man (why give him a fancy name I guess?) and Manabu Nakanishi. Strong Man is American so this one is easy.

Bad Intentions have guns with them. Well that’s certainly different. Both are Americans also. Beer Money jumps them as they get into the ring and the brawl is on early. Champions vs. Muscle Orchestra now as there are a lot of F Bombs being audibly dropped. Beer Money back in as the champions are down. Storm gets a Codebreaker to Strong Man and then an assisted plancha to the same guy.

Anderson gets a big tope con hilo to take out Storm and the other muscle guy. Bernard (called A-Train to help my memory) teases a dive but Nakanishi gets a press slam out of the corner on him. That was very impressive. I have no idea what the tagging rules are here. Both of Beer Money is in there at the same time and it seems to be ok. Storm chokes Anderson with the wrist tape to take over and be heel here.

Total dominance by the TNA guys here. Double suplex gets no cover and it’s time for BEER MONEY! In an awesome moment, A-Train gets up, shouts (and remember his big voice) a very bad word and kills them with a double clothesline. A big boot to Roode would work much better if it clearly didn’t miss by almost a foot. A splash to Storm gets two.

Train is killing it in there. He’s beating up Beer Money on his own. Double teaming takes him down though and Anderson has to make the save. Out of nowhere Nakanishi takes down Roode with a top rope dropkick. Strongmen vs. Beer Money now. The muscleheads seem to be the fan favorites here. The Muscle Orchestra (awesome name) gets matching Torture Racks on the champions.

German by the Japanese guys gets two as Storm saves. DWI on said Japanese guys gets two as Anderson saves. Another very bad word results in Train getting a double splash in the corner. Double team DDT by Beer Money takes down Anderson for two. It’s beer bottle time but Anderson ducks. Anderson gets a move that we completely don’t see but apparently he uses a Diamond Cutter at times so we’ll say it was that, to pin Roode to retain.

Rating: C. Another fun match, but we need to get to some meat here. The lack of tagging hurt it here as this was completely insane the entire time. It’s a fun match, but at times you want something more than two guys double teaming and then a save for 9 minutes. Still though, decent stuff but too much of an insane match for my taste.

It was back to WWE soon after this as Tensai, a guy who used to wrestle in Japan. He was off to a hot start though, including this match on Raw, April 16, 2012.

John Cena vs. ???

It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.

Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.

And this one on May 7, 2012.

CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan

No entrances for the heels to save some time. Tensai starts off and uses the power to put Punk down. Off to Bryan who gets a reaction from the crowd. He fires off the kicks to the chest and shouts YES on each one. Punk escapes a suplex and rolls him up for two. They cross body each other and both guys are down. Tensai comes in for more power and they head to the floor with Punk’s back going into the post.

Back in now and it’s time for a Japanese nerve hold. Backsplash gets two and it’s off to Bryan but the Swan Dive misses. Bryan reaches for a tag but gets caught in a slingshot. Punk makes what I guess you can call a comeback with a neckbreaker. The knee and bulldog combination actually works and it’s GTS time. Bryan escapes and tags in Tensai who clotheslines Punk’s head off very slowly. GTS to Tensai is countered but Punk manages the high kick. Tensai’s dude gets up for a distraction and Bryan crotches Punk. The chokebomb is totally messed up and the Mist Claw with the legsweep gets the pin at 6:54.

Rating: C. Tensai is boring and that’s all there is to it. The guy just isn’t an interesting wrestler and no matter how Japanese they make him it’s not going to happen. He’s big and slow with a bad finisher in the claw. Use the chokebomb (if you can do it right) and be a monster like you look like. Punk vs. Bryan is going to be good.

That would be about it for Tensai meaning anything so we’ll pick stuff up on Raw, April 22, 2013.

Tensai vs. Cody Rhodes

Tensai throws Cody around to start and drops him with a right hand to the face. A delayed double underhook suplex gets two for Tensai but Cody comes back with a neckbreaker and a front facelock. The Disaster Kick gets two and it’s back to the front facelock for a bit. Tensai fights back and pounds away before hitting the rolling cannonball attack in the corner. Sandow gets on the apron for a distraction but gets crushed by Brodus. A Baldo Bomb puts Cody down and the running backsplash gets the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D. This just kept going and going with nothing interesting at all. Again, the feud was over weeks ago but it’s an England show tonight so we need to backtrack by about a month to make sure we don’t have anything new going on. The match was bad on top of the story being old.

One more match with Tensai fighting a dancer. From Smackdown, December 21, 2013.

Brodus Clay vs. Tensai

Tensai takes him into the corner and drives shoulders into Brodus’ ample gut. A clothesline drops Clay but he avoids the backsplash. Clay hits a pair of splashes in the corner and a running splash gets two. Another splash gets no cover and Brodus does the dinosaur claws dance. Cue the Funkadactyls with Xavier Woods for the distraction and, say it with me, Tensai rolls Brodus up for the pin at 1:45. I have no idea how this is supposed to help either guy but I’m sure it will be explained to me later.

Overall Albert is a talented guy but he really isn’t anything more than a good enforcer. I had a feeling that all this hype about him being great in Japan wasn’t going to hold up and that’s exactly what happened. He’s fine as the power half of a tag team and that’s been where he’s had his greatest success. Other than that he’s just a big, slow power guy with a good look. He certainly isn’t bad or anything like that but there’s nothing that makes me want to see more of him.

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We started with the traditional long interview with a backdrop of the Highlight Reel. Jericho’s guest was supposed to be Randy Orton but he got every male member of the Authority instead. HHH talked about how he was considering changing Brock’s opponent for Night of Champions. Everyone suggested they should get the shot in Cena’s place.

This of course drew out Cena to say he’s going to be ready and he actually threatened a lawsuit if HHH changed things. We can file this in the category of STUPID IDEAS THAT WWE USES EVERY FREAKING MONTH AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY CUT IT OUT ALREADY! Anyway, Cena talks about how he’ll be COO and will fire HHH if he changes the match. HHH laughs this off and says he knows Cena has changed. Orton took the mic and insulted Reigns, which of course brought him down. The obvious six man was made as a way for HHH to determine who wants it the most.

We got a good midcard tag match with the champions Dolph Ziggler/Sheamus vs. their respective challengers in The Miz/Cesaro. The wrestling wasn’t bad but the ending was creative. Miz (who had a makeup lady and director’s chair) tagged in his stunt double Damien Mizdow to take the Zig Zag with him. Ziggler got caught up in the heat of the moment and got caught by the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.

There’s an actual story here and it’s getting interesting for the most part. That’s a rare thing for the midcard scene and it’s very refreshing. Miz continues to nail this character. He won’t be World Champion but it’s a great midcard character for him to rebuild his career. I’ve always been a fan of the guy and it’s good to see him getting another chance like this.

Now we get to the part of the show that everyone hated. Well one of them at least. We got the first of the Growing Up Bella segments, which consisted of Nikki telling stories about how horrible Brie was growing up. These ranged from Brie stealing her prom date, costing Nikki her driver’s license and wrecking their car to Nikki taking Brie’s high school exams for her.

These were treated like the most dramatic moments in history and as you would expect, Nikki Bella ruined any drama they could have had. This is the problem with the whole Bella storys (among other things): the Bellas can’t act and the stories are so over the top that they can’t be taken seriously. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about whatever nonsense they had like fifteen years ago or however long it was. I understand that this is to make people watch Total Divas, but for the love of all things good and holy, if this is what is popular on reality TV, I shudder at the future of the human race.

In case you didn’t get it the first time, we had a horrible eight Divas tag to promote the show even more. It lasted a minute and ended in a big brawl. Again, I understand that it’s cross promotion, but this is making the whole division look like an even bigger joke than it ever has, and that’s covering a lot of ground.

Mark Henry and Big Show beat the Wyatts via DQ when Rusev interfered. This is the third time these teams have fought in a few weeks and these matches are getting weaker every time. It’s not that they’re bad, but they’ve pretty much done everything they could to each other at this point so why would I want to see them fight even more?

Michael Sam was invited to Raw next week. Even though he hadn’t accepted yet and there was a very solid chance he could get signed to an NFL practice squad, WWE put him on a graphic saying next week. This screams of desperation and a way to make people care about them when Monday Night Football debuts next week. Instead of having good action, they’re resorting to gimmicks because they’ve wasted so much stuff over the last few months.

Oh and Sam signed with the Dallas Cowboys so he’s not going to be on Raw, making the whole thing a waste of time.

Recap of last week with Cena, Lesnar and Heyman’s promos.

Heyman talked about how hard Cena is working but insists it won’t matter. Short and sweet here.

Jack Swagger beat Curtis Axel in a short match with the Patriot Lock. After the match, Bo Dallas had three people talk about how Swagger ruined their lives by losing to Rusev. This was a hilarious bit and makes me like Dallas even more. Just like the tag match earlier, it’s nice to see the midcard getting some attention. Above all else though, they’re actually using some fresh stories instead of the same nonsense over and over.

Adam Rose beat Titus O’Neil in a nothing match that was more focused on Heath Slater vs. the bunny. Again, instead of doing something interesting or important, this is what we get on Raw.

Rusev squashed Ryder and got chased off by Mark Henry. More filler but at least it helped build a story and made sense given what happened earlier.

Stephanie brought out Nikki Bella and gave her a Divas Title shot. Brie came out and they did their usual schtick with Nikki ranting about Bryan leaving Brie one day and Nikki will be the Bella everyone is talking about. AJ Lee came out and talked about how she’s the #1 contender and how she’s getting the shot. Paige came out and said she’s the Divas Champion but Nikki and Brie took over the segment again with Nikki shouting that she’ll forgive Brie if she quits again and doesn’t come back. Brie shoved Nikki down and left, AJ picked up the title but handed it back to Stephanie, and Paige just kind of looked around.

Somehow that segment took the better part of fifteen minutes. Again, this is designed to make people care about Total Divas and give the show drama, but now it’s looking like it’s taking over the Divas Title as well. Everything Paige and AJ have done is being sacrificed for the sake of giving the producers of the most overly scripted reality show I’ve ever seen extra drama. We now get to listen to the Bellas talk about betrayal and all their drama and dear goodness is it going to be bad.

At the end of the day, the biggest problem is this leads to Nikki vs. Brie, likely in a major match. If I stretch, I might be able to think of three Bella matches that are worth watching. They’re just not good workers but it’s going to be a big focus of the shows going forward because we need more drama for Total Divas. The match is going to be a disaster because it’s going to be treated like the most important thing ever and the overacting is going to cripple it. It’s not exactly Once In A Lifetime or the Mega Powers Exploding and the build is horrible. But hey, the ratings for Total Divas might be up because there’s a huge crossover there right?

Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage next week so Bray talked about a rat running from a snake.

Goldust beat Jimmy Uso in another nothing match. Goldust crushed Jey’s already injured knee after the match to cement the heel turn.

Big Show told Henry he’d have his back against Rusev but Henry wants to do it himself. This seems to set up Show’s latest heel turn.

The six man main event was fine and built on the story of Cena finally getting in and cleaning house. However, after he got the tag and destroyed everyone, Cena tagged out to Reigns for the spear and the pin. There really wasn’t much great here but the match was long and the first good wrestling we had all night.

Raw this week was a borderline disaster and a lot of it was due to the Bellas. I’ve said it a few dozen times now, but the Bellas are not good actresses and the story isn’t working. It’s just so overdone and overexposed and the rest of the company is suffering as a result. This is the same problem that TNA often has: if you don’t like this story, don’t bother watching the show because it’s what you’re getting. Raw was basically three stories: Cena vs. Authority, Henry vs. Rusev and the Bellas with the other stuff just being there to fill in time. That doesn’t make a good three hour show and it’s really causing a lot of problems week to week.

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We’re past Spring Stampede now and DDP has finally become World Champion. The other interesting, and arguably more important, part of the main event was Hollywood Hogan going down with a knee injury. That’s going to be very damaging to the NWO going forward and might even be the death knell for the team. Let’s get to it.

We open with Page in catering when Gorgeous George and Savage come up, saying Page owes Randy the title. Scott Steiner comes in and nails Page with a chair and crushes him with a table leg. Steiner shouts that he’s going to be champion.

Opening sequence.

Ricky Rachman now has DJ Ran with him. The two pests bring out the Nitro Girls for some dancing.

The announcers talk about Page winning the title and his first defense against Steiner tonight.

We look at Steiner throwing Kimberly out of the car a few weeks back.

Here’s Sting with something to say. He talks about the many people that have tried to put him out of action over the years but no one will ever be able to do it. A lot of wrestlers have heart, but none of them are Sting. He’s the man that built WCW because he’s been here since day one. This is his house and his turf and if anyone can say they built this house, it’s Sting. Diamond Dallas Page didn’t build this place, so Sting wants some of Page tonight.

Stills of Mysterio vs. Kidman.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Rey is defending. Juvy takes him down by the leg but Rey comes back with some forearms to the head. A hurricanrana attempt is countered by a Guerrera powerbomb and they actually stay on the mat for a bit. With their legs tied together, they stand on their heads and slap each others’ faces. That was different. Rey gets back up but gets caught in a DDT. Juvy makes the mistake of posing instead of covering though, allowing Rey to get back to his feet.

A headscissors gets two for Juvy and Mysterio rolls out to the floor. Juvy follows up this time with a big plancha and sends Mysterio face first into the steps. Back in and Rey hammers away in the corner before countering a Liger Bomb with a hurricanrana. Juvy tries the Juvy Driver but has to settle for a successful Liger Bomb. Mysterio is able to get up and stop the 450 before hitting the top rope hurricanrana, but the Horsemen run in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This picked up near the end but it really wasn’t anything interesting until the last minute and a half. You don’t expect these two to stay on the mat and it made the match feel disappointing as a result. Then again, maybe both guys were spent after last night. That’s not really an excuse but it’s a possibility.

The Horsemen destroy Rey until Raven and Saturn make the save. Mysteiro doesn’t seem to want their help.

Jimmy Hart and Hugh Morrus are excited to face the new King of Hardcore Bam Bam Bigelow tonight. Hak comes up nails Morrus in the head with a cane to demonstrate how to beat Bigelow. Morrus smiles and beats up a technician. Good grief I’m tired of this angle.

Video on Scott Steiner.

The announcers talk (and casually plug Surge) about Bret quitting and show us a clip of him on an NBC talk show. He talked about WCW screwing up his debut and thinks they mismanaged the last year of his career. This is spliced together with clips of Bret’s promo ranting about how much better he was than people like Flair and Hogan. We also see the Goldberg spear into the metal plate. Bret insists that he’s done and says it’s a shame how bad both companies treated him.

We get stills from the hardcore match last night.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Hugh Morrus

This is a kendo stick match so Bigelow throws in some tables before the bell. They hit each other with canes and Bigelow slams him down. Bam Bam takes FOREVER to get to the top and misses a moonsault, only to have Morrus do the same. A table is set up in the corner and both guys are whipped through it.

Jimmy Hart trips Bigelow so Morrus can beat on him with the stick. Morrus takes a stick to the middle rope and tries to stab Bigelow but the stick hits the mat and goes up into Hugh’s chin. The announcers talk about making a Hardcore belt like a Swiss army knife. Morrus sets up another table and loads up the moonsault but only his feet hit Bigelow in the face. Bigelow’s top rope headbutt ends this mess.

Rating: D-. I have no idea what I’m supposed to say about this nonsense. They’re trying to put comedy spots in there now and it’s not making things any better. I don’t know how but somehow this is getting even less interesting to sit through. WCW really was shortsighted enough to think this is what made ECW work. I’m no ECW fan but that’s one of the dumbest things they ever did. I hate this nonsense.

Kidman says he was at a personal appearance and couldn’t be there to help Rey. If he was there, he would have helped of course.

Main event stills from last night.

Here’s Page for his first comments as World Champion. He says he wasn’t supposed to happen and either he’s dreaming or he really won this last night. Page tells Hogan sorry about the leg but Gene gets on him for not being serious. The champ corrects him because he would have loved Hogan to be in the ring for the win. As for Sting, he deserves a title shot but first up is Scott Steiner. He promises to show Steiner that size doesn’t matter, even though Steiner has heard that before.

Nitro Girls.

Tony talks about all the big names here while pointing a Surge at the camera.

Gene brings out Flair with something to say. The President if flanked by Anderson and referee Charles Robinson in I believe his first official affiliation with the boss. Flair says the title is being held up for reasons he doesn’t have time to explain because here are Savage and Gorgeous George. Randy has a piece of paper in his hand and says he’s going to lay the smackdown for Flair right now.

The executive committee and President gave him power in the match last night so Page is still champion. Flair says Savage is never going to wrestle again because he’s going to sit at home and get a check. After tonight, Savage isn’t in the picture at all. Flair rips up the paper and Robinson says Savage isn’t a qualified referee. He makes the mistake of calling George a bimbo and gets one of the best slaps I’ve ever seen.

Savage says he wants to wrestle and has an idea: at Slamboree it’s Robinson vs. George for Savage’s career. Robinson agrees and Flair says Charles will win with the Figure Four. Macho thinks George will win with a big elbow. This brings out a running Sting who says that since Diamond Dallas Trash is ducking him, how about Sting vs. Flair tonight? Anderson accepts for Flair, which is cool with Sting.

La Parka/El Dandy vs. Master Blasters

I really don’t think these are the original Master Blasters but that’s just a hunch. Both guys have stockings over their face so I can’t make out either of them. They’re both very muscular though and have Jimmy Hart in their corner. Dandy starts with #1 and is easily shoved down. A belly to belly suplex puts Dandy on the mat again and it’s off to La Parka. Not that it matters as here comes Nash (rather appropriate), of course drinking a Surge. Nash beats everyone up and the match is thrown out.

Nash shows us a clip of he and Flair talking last week and Hogan not being pleased with it. Back in the arena, Nash says the business he and Flair talked about was him getting a title shot at Slamboree if Flair made it out of last week’s show with the belt. He wants Page to make it to St. Louis (Slamboree location) with the title because what Page did to Hogan was wrong. Page will pay the price Wolfpack style.

More DJ Ran nonsense.

Psychosis vs. Kidman

They start slow with Psychosis grabbing a headlock followed by a running dropkick to the side of the head. Kidman comes right back with a hurricanrana and some right hands in the corner. Psychosis launches him into the air for a big crash and the fans are all over him. Another dropkick puts Kidman on the floor and Psychosis follows him out with a huge dive.

Back in and a missile dropkick gets two on Kidman while the announcers are arguing about fraternities or something. Psychosis sends him back to the floor but his dive is blocked with Kidman’s first dropkick. They head inside again with Psychosis nailing a great looking top rope hurricanrana for two. Kidman misses a splash in the corner but Psychosis makes the eternal mistake of trying a powerbomb. The faceplant sets up the Shooting Star for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a better match than I was expecting and a good reminder of how good Psychosis can be. Even though he didn’t use much besides dropkicks, he still looked great out there and made the match work. The division is really starting to fill out and it’s making shows much easier to get through.

Nitro Girls.

Stills from Goldberg vs. Nash.

Gene brings out Goldberg for a chat. Goldberg talks about how awesome he is and says that he’s waiting for Bret to come back. Okerlund brings up Luger and Goldberg is ready to knock his face off. Finally, he commends Page on his title win but says it doesn’t make Page immune to Goldberg. He’s coming for the title and no one can stop him.

DJ Ran again. How does this make me want to watch the show?

TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending of course. Rick takes him down to the mat and drives in a few forearms to the back of his head. A suplex sends Booker flying and the announcers ignore the match to insult Mike Tenay for some reason. Back up and a big spin kick drops Steiner and a running forearm does the same. He loads up the side kick but Rick is mostly standing so it’s a superkick instead.

Another superkick puts Rick on the floor for a bit and the champion is in control. Back in and a clothesline puts Booker right back outside. Rick hooks a kind of powerbomb for two followed by his powerslam for the same. There goes the referee but he’s right back up as Stevie Ray comes out to slap jack Rick. Booker didn’t see it and nails the Harlem Side Kick to retain.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me as it was a lot of slowly going back and forth as they waited for the run-in at the end. Stevie Ray and Booker getting back together wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world but I’d really rather see Booker keep going with his singles run. Rick didn’t look good out there tonight as his timing was off and he wasn’t doing anything besides power moves.

Here’s Scott Steiner with his own mic and something to say. He runs down Page for his lack of muscles and calls him white trash. Steiner will take Kimberly too because that’s still a thing.

DJ Ran. Tony: “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!”

Kenny Kaos vs. Goldberg

Goldberg works on a wristlock to start before taking him down into a legbar. Kenny goes to the eyes and takes him into the corner for no effect. A gorilla press into a powerslam plants Kaos but he pops back up with a slam of his own. He goes to the apron for a springboard shoulder….and totally misses. Goldberg just stands there and watches Kaos fly past him into a crash. A pumphandle throw sends Kaos flying and the spear and Jackhammer end the destruction.

Rating: C-. This was somewhat competitive for a little bit but that missed shoulder was hysterical. Goldberg may not have been the most versatile wrestler in the world but there’s something cool about watching him just run over people and throw them around the ring like a bag of flour. Fun stuff here as usual.

DJ Ran, AGAIN. Rachman talks about the World Title match to kill even more time.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

Robinson is referee and Sting has big white wraps around his feet. Flair gets shoved down a few times to start and the gorilla press puts him down again. Sting: “For old times’ sake!” There’s another gorilla press and Flair rolls outside to scream in pain. Sting carries Flair back to the ring but gets his eyes raked to give Flair a break. Back up and a sunset flip gets two on Ric and of course the trunks go down.

Flair easily loses a test of strength but pulls Sting’s hair to take him down. Sting nips up every time and clotheslines Flair back to the floor. Almost total dominance by Sting so far. Ric sends him into the barricade to take over before going after the knee back inside. Sting blocks a knee drop and puts Flair in the Figure Four. Ric shouts that he gives up but Robinson won’t call for the bell. He finally gets to the ropes so Sting hammers away in the corner and gets in a shot on Anderson as well.

Arn gets back up and pulls Flair out of the way of the Stinger Splash to give Flair his first real advantage. Robinson conveniently turns his head so Flair can hit Sting low. The announcers are actually paying attention to and calling the match. Sting slams him off the top and takes Flair’s head off with a running clothesline for two. Another low blow in the corner slows Sting down but a vertical suplex has no effect.

The chops don’t work (I love Flair never learning in twelve years) and Sting scores with a superplex. Here comes the Scorpion but Anderson gets on the apron for a distraction. Another Stinger Splash misses and Flair gets the Figure Four. Flair grabs Anderson’s hands but Savage comes out to take Arn out. Sting turns the hold over to break and reverses another suplex into the Death Drop for the pin after threatening Robinson with violence.

Rating: B. This is one of those matches that is almost impossible to screw up. It’s the classic story of the schooled technician vs. the charismatic natural and it’s going to work every time they do it. The match was given time and told the story that works every time. There was no major interference, the pin was clean, and there was no stupid DJ to shout about getting up. It was such a refreshing change and proves the theory that good wrestling is always going to make things feel better.

Anderson tries to come in but gets the Scorpion as well.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Steiner is challenging. Before the match we get an appearance from Roddy Piper to do commentary. Kimberly makes her return in Page’s corner. Page debuts his ever stylish wear the belt backwards look. It’s a slugout to start and Steiner is knocked out to the floor where Page nails a plancha. Steiner is thrown over the announcers’ table but punches Page up the aisle as we take a break.

Back with Scott suplexing Page down and hammering away in the corner. Page gets two off a belly to belly of his own but can’t hook the Diamond Cutter. Steiner shoves him off the ropes and drops an elbow for two. The announcers are back to form by talking about Flair and Savage rather than the World Title match in front of them. Page gets tied up in the Tree of Woe and choked upside down in a Steiner signature spot. A top rope Frankensteiner gets two and the fans finally react to something.

Page comes back with a discus lariat as Piper accuses Page of injuring Hogan’s knee on purpose. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Steiner and Page sends him into the buckle ten times. Steiner blocks the Diamond Cutter and the referee goes down again. He heads outside and pulls some bolt cutters off the back of the US Title and unhooks a buckle.

Page goes face first and then back first into the buckle before Steiner loads up the Recliner. He won’t put the hold on though with no referee up so Page takes him down with a running DDT. Steiner low blows his way out of another Cutter attempt but Page blocks the Recliner. Kimberly nails Steiner with a chair and the Diamond Cutter retains Page’s title.

Rating: C. The match was fine if not a little bit overbooked. It was annoying to have the commentary barely paying attention until the last two minutes but that’s modern wrestling announcing for you. Kimberly helping to knock Steiner out was a good ending and made sense given their history. It’s a good first defense and sets Page up for the big match with Nash at Slamboree.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s a lot of good stuff in here but the bad stuff really brings it down. First and foremost, the DJ Ran stuff is just annoying. You’re at a professional wrestling show and WCW thinks you need a DJ to fire you up? The matches were good for the most part, save for whatever Hak vs. Morrus was that is. Slamboree should be decent enough and this was a good start to the build. There are some problems in the show though and cutting it down to two hours would solve a lot of them. Unfortunately they seem to be leaning towards the stuff that causes problems rather than the good parts.

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