I know she can’t wrestle and I don’t think most people care. Today is Brooke Tessmacher.

After some time as a dancer in WWE, Brooke would head to TNA as Eric Bischoff’s assistant. Eventually she had to get in the ring and we’ll pick things up on Impact, May 5, 2011.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

Tessmacher takes the glasses off and bends over to pick them up. Well it’s not like she’s here for her in ring abilities. Basic stuff here as Tessmacher does gymnast stuff while Mickie walks her through the match. Victory Roll gets two for Tessmacher and she fires the worst enziguri I’ve ever seen for two. Off to the arm by Tessmacher for a bit before Mickie makes her comeback with a bunch of clotheslines. Neckbreaker sets up a terrible looking jumping DDT to end it at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, girls were hot. That sums up the entire match as that’s the entire reason Tessmacher was out there. Mickie can’t really do much with this kind of opponent, especially with her shoulder not being 100% still. I can’t imagine what Tessmacher is going to do but she looks good so I can’t complain that much.

Another match on Impact, July 21, 2011 but this time for the Knockouts Tag Team Titles.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Tara and Tessmacher wait for the champs to come through the curtain to jump them. After a beating in the aisle there‘s the bell. A double team sends Tara to the floor and Tessmacher hits a double clothesline. Hey, since there are four hot chicks in the ring, let‘s show the old Spanish announce team! Tessmacher gets beaten down as we start the actual match here. There‘s the required USA chant as Tessmacher takes Rosita down. Just not down enough for a tag.

Everything breaks down quickly as Hebner puts Tara out. More double teaming gets two on Tessmacher. Tara comes in again and throws Tessmacher to their own corner to guarantee a hot tag. Tara cleans house with some awkward looking punches. Widow‘s Peak is set up forever but doesn‘t hit Sarita because Madison runs in to break it up. Sarita rolls Tara up but only gets two. Tessmacher is thrown into Sarita and actually manages a Stratusfaction bulldog. Tara hits a chokebomb and Tessmacher gets a small package for stereo pins at 4:43 to give us new champs.

Rating: C-. Not like the title mean anything but having Tessmacher and Tara hug each other a lot is never a bad thing. Does anyone ever successfully defend the tag titles anymore? Either way, this was a bit better than most of their matches and it helps that Tessmacher has an actual finishing move now rather than the amplified Stinkface.

Time for a PPV title defense at Hardcore Justice 2011.

Knockout Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

The challengers (I’ve been yelled at for referring to a Mexican that portrays a Mexican who is called Mexicans as a Mexican so it’s challengers now) look good in their red, white and green flag outfits of a country it’s apparently racist to say by name. Tessmacher looks good in red but not as good as in blue. The challengers’ male counterparts (who are of no apparent nationality or race whatsoever) are sent to the back.

Tara vs. Rosita (loving the white shorts) start but it’s off to Sarita who looks like a freaky Christmas present. The challengers keep tagging quickly as it’s back to Rosita who snaps off a rana on Tara. Tara’s response: KICK HER IN THE FACE. Why mess with the basics? This breaks down quickly and it’s Tessmacher being all feisty. She gets her face rammed into the buckle though and the challengers take over.

The fans chant for Brooke and then Tessmacher. Tazz makes an Andy Devine reference or something similar to that. Tessmacher gets beaten down but manages to grab a rollup for two and a tag as well. Tara comes in but the Widow’s Peak (is that offensive to spiders? Insects maybe? Why not a thorax peak?) is broken up and Tara gets dropped on her shoulder out of a double underhook slam.

Rosita kicks Tara into a cover by Sarita for two. Sarita really likes to dance. Must be a freaky Christmas present looking thing. Widow’s Peak is countered again into a rollup by Rosita for two. Mike keeps calling Tara Powerfully Hot. I really hope that isn’t an attempt at a new nickname. Tessmacher makes the save again and this time, the third time (racist against even numbers much?) the Widow’s Peak (complete with its own chant) ends Rosita.

Rating: D+. They were playing up the power vs. speed thing here but it didn’t work for the most part. In short (or tall. Please don’t sue me!) it’s just boring. There’s no interest in these titles and I see no real reason for this match to have happened other than to get the rematch clause out of the way. The tag titles need to die already because they never had a point to them and the depth isn’t there anymore to support it.

And now a defense on Impact, October 20, 2011.

Knockout Tag Titles: Winter/Angelina Love vs. Tara/Brooke Tessmacher

Winter and Angelina break up Tessmacher’s shirt tear and the double team is on. We officially start with Angelina vs. Tessmacher. Tessmacher is messed up because of the beatdown and the challengers both beat her down. After a few minutes of beating, Angelina misses a middle rope crossbody and it’s a double tag to Winter and Tara. Spinning side slam gets two. Everything breaks down and Tessmacher gets the pin on Winter with a top rope crossbody at 3:40.

Rating: C. This was fine, mainly due to large implants flying around and them keeping things short. Tessmacher still can’t do much in the ring but she’s improved a lot. She’d still be better at just being a sex object but most of the girls would be other than like two of them. This was nothing to see but for a quick Knockout tag, this wasn’t too bad.

Back to singles action at Sacrifice 2012.

Knockouts Title: Brooke Tessmacher vs. Gail Kim

Gail jumps Brooke to start but Tessmacher tries Eat Defeat twice to send Gail running to the floor. Gail gets in a kick to the ribs to take over and follows with a shoulder block to the ribs. The champion hits a backbreaker and bends Brooke over the knee in a submission hold out of the same position.

It‘s about 99% Kim until Brooke gets a flying forearm to get herself a breather. A facejam out of the corner puts Gail down and a top rope elbow gets two. The champion tries a quick Eat Defeat but Brooke hits one of her own which knocks Gail to the floor. Back inside that gets two. And then Gail rolls her up with feet on the ropes to retain at 6:50.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but Tessmacher continues to be just barely better than your normal terrible women’s wrestler. Anyone that believes she’s out there because of anything other than how she looks in her wrestling outfits is delusional. Still though, I’d have switched the title due to how long Gail has had the title and how stale her title reign has gotten.

Here’s another chance for the title at Slammiversary 2012.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

Ok…..there is ZERO reason for Tessmacher to lose here. I mean, it’s her home state, she’s been built up perfectly, the champion has gotten stale and says the same things over and over……she’s screwed isn’t she? Tessmacher speeds things up to start and they head to the floor. Back in and she tries a victory roll but gets hot shotted instead. Shoulder breaker gets two.

Gail works on the arm before shifting to a headscissors for a bit. Tessmacher makes her comeback but gets bulldogged back down. A horrible looking neckbreaker puts Tessmacher on the apron and then into the barricade. Back in and Eat Defeat is countered so Gail tries Tessmacher’s finisher. Brooke (screw Hogan’s daughter) countered into a rollup for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D. I REALLY do not like that ending. Tessmacher got dominated for almost the entire match and then caught Gail in a mistake to win the title. That doesn’t make her look better or anything, but rather just that it makes the win look like a fluke. Still though, anyone being champion instead of Gail is a good thing.

More Gail on Impact, July 12, 2012.

Knockout Title: Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

Brooke Hogan is on commentary because I haven’t suffered enough today. Gail takes over to start and works on the arm of the champ. She hooks a belly to back suplex with a hammerlock slam at the same time. Gail hooks some kind of a hold on the arm, followed by Cattle Mutilation of all things. Tessmacher makes her comeback with a facejam out of the corner and that Russian legsweep into a clothesline gets two. A rollup gets two for Gail and she stomps away. Tessmacher knocks her down and hits a top rope elbow off the top to retain at 5:12.

Rating: D+. These girls are getting worse again. Tessmacher is someone who has charisma and looks good in those shorts of hers, but there’s no skill in the ring that I can see. She’s about as good as you can get at this point in her career as she was a model and dancer up to this point, but her matches are nothing to see. Gail was her usual self here.

Madison Rayne won the title soon after this so here’s the rematch on Impact, August 15, 2012.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

The guest referee is Taryn Terrell, more famous as Tiffany in WWE. The best part: Brooke kneels down for no apparent reason as Tiffany is coming out and falls down. Madison chokes a lot so Tiffany yells at her. Tessmacher gets thrown around but grabs a rollup for two. She misses a charges in the corner and gets rolled up herself but Madison’s tights grabbing is caught. Tiffany and Madison argue a bit more until Tessmacher grabs Madison and hits her release mat slam from behind for the pin and the title at 3:55. What in the world was the point in changing the title in the first place?

Rating: D. The match was mainly Tiffany and Madison arguing so the match didn’t do anything. What in the world was the point of this? They mentioned Tiffany being in the new movie The Campaign but it was mentioned so quickly that a lot of people probably didn’t hear it. This was nothing at all and didn’t do anything for anyone.

Time for a mentor vs. mentee match at No Surrender 2012.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Tara is her mentor and beat the champ on Impact a few weeks ago and that’s it. They fight over the arm to start with Tara controlling with a top wristlock. Tara keeps taking over with power and outmaneuvering Tessmacher. A backslide gets two for the challenger but Tessmacher tries a rolling cradle, only to get tangled in the ropes. As they come back in Tara gets two off a rollup and the champ grabs the arm to take over.

Tara finally slaps her to start the brawl with Tessmacher taking over. A cradle sends Tara into the mat and things speed up. Tara’s spinning side slam gets two as does the floatover suplex that got Tara the pin on Impact a few weeks back. Widow’s Peak is countered into a rollup for the pin by Tessmacher to retain at 6:39.

Rating: C-. For a Knockouts match this wasn’t bad but man alive no one cared at all. Granted there was a one night build to this match so it’s not like anyone had any reason to care. Tessmacher hit a wall with the Earl Hebner storyline and losing the title for a few days. It didn’t help anyone and it stopped Tess’ momentum cold.

Hey look: it’s Tara again on Impact, October 25, 2012.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and gets jumped before she can get in the ring. After more of a beating, a Jesse distraction lets Tara take over with some cheap shots. Tara slams Tessmacher’s face into the mat a few times but stops for a kiss. From Jesse unfortunately. More kissing occurs and Tara misses her slingshot somersault legdrop. Tessmacher comes back and hits her Stinkface before hitting an X Factor out of the corner. Tara grabs Terrell and Jesse lowbridges Tessmacher. Widow’s Peak retains the title at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Annoying non-celebrity aside, Tessmacher contines to do nothing at all for me. She’s just there and is exactly the same character she was a year ago. Also she’s just not that good in the ring, period. Her looks are great but mix up the outfits a bit already. Tara continues to be annoying with Jesse so it’s a success on that front. Hopefully this feud is done now.

Here’s a mixed tag from Impact on January 10, 2013.

Tara/Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie T/Miss Tessmacher

If nothing else, we get a clip of the Bro Off and Robbie E’s hilarious face. Jesse tries to jump Rob from behind because he’s an idiot and earns a slam. Off to the girls with Tessmacher taking over and hitting an X Factor out of the corner. There’s a Stinkface because that’s what you get on a wrestling show. T LAUNCHES Jesse into the corner and hits a BIG old powerbomb for the pin at 1:46.

Time for a good old four way on Impact, February 21, 2013.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and this is under elimination rules. Brooke Hogan gets to be ringside because what would a segment be without her? The bell will be after this break. Jesse is ejected by Brooke and we’re ready to go. We get a bunch of quick rollup attempts but no pins early on. Tessmacher tries a victory roll on Tara but gets caught in an electric chair to send her out to the floor. Things settle down a bit and Tara hits the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Sky, only to have the pin broken up by Gail. Why would she do that?

Now Tara and Gail go at it but Gail is sent to the floor for a bulldog from Tessmacher. Velvet and Tessmacher ping pong the champion back and forth with punches but Tara fights back. A moonsault hits Tessmacher but Velvet grabs Tara and hits In Yo Face, only to be broken up by Gail. Kim steals the pin on Tara to eliminate her, guaranteeing us a new champion.

Tessmacher hits a kind of spinning neckbreaker on Gail but goes up and gets crotched. Gail loads up a superplex put Velvet adds a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Velvet covers both opponents for two so she tries In Yo Face on Gail. Tessmacher tries to roll up Sky but Velvet rolls through it and covers Tessmacher for the elimination. We’re down to Velvet vs. Gail.

Sky pounds away to start but misses a dropkick to stop her momentum cold. Kim tries a cover but gets caught grabbing the ropes like a good villain should. Some shoulders in the corner miss and Velvet grabs a pretty sloppy sunset flip for two. In Yo Face hits this time and Velvet wins the title at 8:35.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but at the end of the day, what difference does this really make? Velvet is another person that happens to hold the title now. She’ll probably hold it for about three months before dropping it back to Tara or Gail and the cycle starts all over again. That’s the problem with the women’s divisions in both companies: they’ve been going around in circles for years.

Tessmacher would be in action at Knockout Knockdown.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana

Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it’s off to a freaky looking double arm submission.

Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.

Rating: C-. Santana is another chick who looked decent out there and Tessmacher was her usual self. You can take that line to mean whatever you like for it to mean. They probably did the right thing here by keeping things short as Tessmacher isn’t the kind of chick you want in a long match. Just have her look good on camera and get out of there quick.

Brooke would become part of Aces and 8’s as Bully Ray’s sex pot girlfriend. Here she is at Bound For Glory 2013.

Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Brooke vs. ODB

ODB is defending and Aces and 8’s member Brooke is Miss Tessmacher. Brooke is quickly run over and Gail gets sent to the floor by the champion. Back up and Brooke stomps away in the corner before giving ODB a Stinkface. That’s fine with ODB who pops up and chest bumps Brooke into the corner for a Bronco Buster. Gail gets back in and is quickly knocked right back to the floor. Brooke faceplants ODB for two as Gail is holding her arm.

ODB powers up to break a reverse chinlock but gets dropped by a running forearm. A spinning neckbreaker puts the champion down for two but Gail pulls Brooke down for a Figure Four around the post. ODB takes Gail down but Brooke gets two off a rollup. Off to a half crab on Brooke and Gail has to run in to break up a tap out. Both challengers go to the top so ODB tries to superplex them both, only to be shoved down. Gail missile dropkicks ODB and Brooke drops a top rope elbow on Kim to put all three on the mat.

ODB is up first to run everyone over but the referee gets crushed in the corner. Another shot knocks him out to the floor and we get the double fireman’s carry to show off ODB’s strength. Brooke falls off so ODB gives Gail the Bam onto Brooke’s body. Cue Lei’D Tapa to fight with ODB and knock the champion to the floor. A powerbomb plants Brooke and Tapa puts Gail on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Giving Gail a new monster bodyguard doesn’t make her any more interesting. Tapa had a different kind of look but at the end of the day, she was nothing compared to Ivelisse from Gut Check. The match was nothing we haven’t seen on Impact a bunch of times and just restarts the circle of Knockouts with the title all over again.

A final Knockouts tag on Impact, October 24, 2013.

Brooke/Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky/ODB

ODB pulls Brooke in to start and hits a quick Bronco Buster, sending Brooke out to the floor. She pulls ODB to the floor and stomps away a bit before sending ODB back in for more of the same from Gail. The champ quickly leaves and it’s back to Brooke for more forearms and stomping. ODB shoves Brooke off the middle rope and it’s hot tag to Velvet. She cleans a few rooms of the house with a flying headscissors and a running neckbreaker as everything breaks down. Everyone heads to the floor and it’s Tapa sneaking in to kick Velvet in the face to give Gail the pin at 3:35.

Rating: D-. And most of that is because of how good Brooke looks in her new outfit. Tapa can’t even do a big boot properly as she hit more of the shoulder instead of Velvet’s head. Gail as Knockouts Champion is nothing new, which is the continued problem with the entire division: it needs some fresh faces. Tapa simply isn’t going to work in that regard based on what we’ve seen so far.

Brooke is a stunningly gorgeous woman with a body to die for and she actually has some decent wrestling abilities. She went from a horrible worker to someone who can have a passable match, which is more than so many girls can do. TNA treats its girls WAY more serious than WWE does and Tessmacher has gotten far better than she ever would have in WWE.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is one of those gimmick characters: Henry Godwinn the hog farmer.

Godwinn started up in the late 80s and his first big break came in 1993 when he debuted with WCW as Shanghai Pearce. We’ll start things off at Beach Blast 1993.

Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio

The heels are more commonly known as the Godwinns. The faces are another young team that wasn’t very good but they were allegedly really good so they got the tag titles at least once. Bagwell was finally shedding the rookie status but he was still just annoying as all goodness. Scorpio was a guy that was always good but always jumped around a lot. The Godwinns are just big and annoying as all goodness.

This is ok stuff but it’s really just a way to put the faces over and get them a win on PPV. There’s almost nothing of note here as this could be on any television show that you cared to name. Just nothing interesting here as it’s standard formula stuff with Bagwell being beaten on until he makes a tag them Scorpio is beaten on before another tag to Bagwell so Scorpio, the illegal man, can hit his top rope stuff for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just boring as heck here with nothing of note going on. This is the biggest problem that most PPVs have: matches that belong on TV being put on PPV where you have to pay for them. I don’t want to pay for bad matches like this one, so why should I have to in order to see the rest of the card?

Next up is Fall Brawl 1993.

Shanghai Pierce vs. Ice Train

Pierce has Tex Slazenger with him. They would move to the WWF in about a year and become the Godwins. Ice Train is more or less Big Zeke but with even less talent. I always liked him for some reason. Oh and Pierce is in a mask. They’re from Texas but are being booed anyway which is appropriate somehow. Power vs. power here with Train being the stronger of the two.

This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Basically imagine every power vs. power cliché you can think of and add in some heel lariats and you more or less have the entire match. The heels try to use a bullrope but he runs right through it and a bad powerslam ends it. This was nothing. No rating as I have nothing to say about it at all. Let that sink in for a bit.

One last WCW match at Starrcade 1993.

Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce

Payne is a grunge rocker while Slazenger and Pierce are big Texans with Pierce wearing a mask. They would wind up in the WWF as the Godwinns if you remember them. Cactus is fresh off a world title feud with Vader and is one of the hottest stars in the company. Payne and Shanghai get things going and collide in the middle of the ring, sending both guys staggering back a bit. Pierce takes him down with a running shoulder block and let’s stop to look at each other.

Maxx slams him down, causing Shanghai to bring in Tex. Jack gets the tag as well and they stare at each other a bit more. Cactus takes him into the corner but walks into a right hand to slow him down again. A boot to Tex’s head puts him down again and it’s back to Payne. Maxx hits a BIG clothesline to take Slazenger down as the match continues plodding along. Tex charges out of the corner and hits a kind of bulldog to take Maxx down. Off to Shanghai who is immediately caught in a belly to back suplex for no cover.

Back to Cactus who pounds Pierce down before charging into the heel corner. Everything breaks down and the Cactus Clothesline puts Jack and Pierce on the floor again. Slazenger goes over the top to the floor as well, so Payne backdrops the 300lb Jack over the top onto Tex. Back in the ring and Maxx puts on the Payne Killer armbar but Tex makes the save. A double clothesline puts the Texans down and it’s back to Cactus. He ducks a Pierce clothesline which winds up hitting Tex, allowing Cactus to hit his double arm DDT on Pierce for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible and it was a step above the other tag match, but man alive this show isn’t doing anything well right now. These four guys are all big and mostly slow, which made for a dull and slow match here. Cactus was insanely popular though and kept the crowd interested in the match for the most part.

It’s off to the WWF now, starting at In Your House II.

Henry Godwinn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Henry is an associate of DiBiase but not a full member of the Million Dollar Team. Bigelow runs him over to start and catches him in a belly to back suplex to take over. Another belly to back sets up a shoulder block to send Henry out to the floor. Back in and a DDT drops Godwinn again but he low bridges Bigelow to the floor. You can easily see the lack of effort or interest from either guy here.

Henry slams Bigelow on the floor before a clothesline gets two for Godwinn back inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Henry grabs the slop bucket. That goes nowhere so here’s even more choking as the match just keeps going. A slam gets two on Bam Bam but he comes back with some slow motion headbutts. Bigelow misses a top rope headbutt but avoids a middle rope knee drop before quickly pinning Henry. I’m pretty sure that was a legit injury, leading to the fast pin.

Rating: F. If they don’t care, why in the world should I either? It was clear that neither guy had any interest in the match and it was very slow and dull as a result. Bigelow would be gone soon and Henry would become a loveable country boy with Hillbilly Jim as his manager which was the best thing that ever happened to him.

Henry would become a bigger deal, even getting onto Undertaker’s Survivor Series team in 1995.

Royals vs. Dark Side

King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Mabel is on a throne carried by about five guys, all of whom look like they’re about to have hernias. The idea here is you have King Mabel, King Lawler, the blue blood and the Royal Dentist Isaac Yankem. About two years later, Isaac would put on a mask and remember that he’s Undertaker’s brother named Kane. What exactly is dark about Taker’s partners isn’t really clear. Fatu is MAKING A DIFFERENCE and is supposed to be some kind of hero for kids in the projects. He was very happy to become the Sultan a year later.

Taker’s entrance of course is huge. He has this skull looking mask on now which would eventually be purple and look very stupid. Fatu and Hunter Hearst Helmsley start things off. The Dark Side has matching t-shirts that say Rest In Peace. Fatu throws Helmsley around to start but we almost get a Pedigree, which is only broken up by a glare from Undertaker. Off to Godwin who was feuding with Hunter at this point in the standard culture clash feud.

Off to Lawler who immediately tags in Yankem. A big hop toss puts Isaac down but he sends Henry into the corner to escape. Back to Helmsley, which I’m getting tired of typing. If only there was a shorter version of his name. Perfect: “You know Helmsley likes to be called Triple H.” Thank you Mr. Perfect. Anyway, Godwin gorilla presses HHH, holding him up for a LONG time.

Lawler comes in and gets Savio which is a clash of styles if I’ve ever heard of one. Vega pounds away on Jerry as does Fatu. Yankem gets in a knee to Fatu’s back and the evil King takes over. Isaac comes in to slam Fatu and a legdrop follows. Mabel comes in but misses a splash in the corner. Vega pounds on Mabel in a rematch of the KOTR final. A side slam kills Vega but there’s no cover.

Vega gets beaten on in the corner to fill in more time. Yankem is listed as 6’8 or 6’9 here, which means he would have grown about three or four inches by the time he became the Big Fried Freak. A HHH knee drop gets two on Vega as the crowd is silent because none of this means anything. This is all just filler until we get to the Taker tag when the place is going to erupt.

Lawler’s piledriver on Vega gets two. Well it’s not Memphis so it’s understandable. Lawler knocks Vega into the corner…..and here’s Taker. Jerry gets thrown around by the throat and no one will tag him. Tombstone and pin on Lawler, tombstone and pin on Yankem, chokeslam and pin on Helmsley, and there’s just Mabel left. He immediately belly to belly suplexes Taker down and drops the face crushing legdrop before dancing a bit. There’s the situp and Mabel runs for the countout.

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

If there’s one thing WWF liked doing, it’s a culture clash feud. Here’s the big match of Godwinn’s at In Your House V.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn

This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.

Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.

They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?

Time for a tag team with Henry’s cousin Phineas forming the Godwinns. Here they are at In Your House VII.

Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Body Donnas

The Body Donnas, the champions, are fitness enthusiasts Skip and Zip and managed by the absolutely gorgeous Sunny. The Godwinns are Henry and his cousin Phineas (Middle initials O and I respectively, meaning their full initials are H.O.G. And P.I.G.) with the latter having a big crush on Phineas. The Body Donnas won the titles in a tournament final at Wrestlemania so this is a rematch.

Henry throws Zip around to start but has to double clothesline both Donnas down. Off to Phineas who bites Zip’s arm and cranks on it a bit before tagging Henry back in. Skip, the more talented of the champions, comes in and jumps into something vaguely resembling John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment (fireman’s carry slam). A nice wheelbarrow suplex sends Skip out to the floor as this is one sided so far. Zip tries to sneak in but the referee catches them since the Body Donnas aren’t exactly twins.

Back in and it’s Phineas vs. Zip with Phineas getting some kicks to the head and grabbing a headlock. Skip low bridges the hog farmer to the floor and the champions take over for the first time. The Donnas get two off a slingshot suplex as the camera keeps looking at Sunny but I can’t say I blame them much this time around. Off to a chinlock from Skip followed by a standing hurricanrana for two.

Phineas gets all riled up (Vince’s words) and cleans house as everything breaks down. Sunny runs to the back and comes back with a framed photo of herself to give to Phineas. Why he’s fascinated by the photo when the real thing is right in front of him isn’t explained but Phineas wasn’t all that bright. Henry hits the Slop Drop on Zip but the distraction at ringside allows Skip to sneak in and small package Henry to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Much like most of the Body Donnas’ matches, Sunny was the best thing going on. She was just so good at being evil and the looks didn’t hurt anything at all. The tag division was just such a mess at this point though and this didn’t do it a lot of favors. The division wouldn’t be fixed for years to come either.

Here they are again for the titles at King of the Ring 1996.

Tag Titles; Smoking Guns vs. Godwins

These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.

These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s slept with Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.

This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring as all goodness so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.

I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.

Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.

Here they are on the first episode of Shotgun Saturday Night in a bizarre feud.

Godwinns vs. Flying Nuns

The Nuns are Sister Angelica and Mother Smucker. They’re women in case you couldn’t tell. We see a video of them coming out of a cathedral. The ropes are yellow and the mat is black. Also, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN ON JANUARY 4TH? That was the Fingerpoke of Doom and Foley winning the title and the debut of this show and Impact moving to Mondays and Shawn and Bret reuniting. Is it like November 5, 1955 in Back to the Future?

The Nuns jump the Godwins and are rather powerful it seems. Apparently men vs. women is fine now? Angelica and Phineas start and we get a HOLY CENSORED chant for no apparent reason. Wow those women are large. Hard punch and I think one Banged her Head on the mat. Sunny thinks these two are from the Nun Wrestling Federation.

Hillbilly Jim isn’t sure what’s going on. Angelica has facial hair it seems. Smucker takes over and Vince wonders how the WWF sanctioned this. Vince if you can’t remember why you did it you may want to lay off the hard stuff. The lights are really low I’m guessing to make sure the size of the place isn’t notable, which is fine. Brother Love of all people comes out and is the manager of the girls I guess.

We take a break and come back to more of the same. The girls beat up Henry, who is about 6’7 and over 300lbs. Those are some big old girls. LOUD ECW chant as well. We hear about some rookie that Sunny likes named Rocky Maivia. Eh I’m sure he’ll never mean anything. Top rope legdrop from Smucker misses and hot tag to Phineas (Mideon). Smucker complains about him trying to slam her as apparently she doesn’t like the hand placement. That’s kind of funny. Love blasts Phineas with whatever is in his hand for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a long comedy match and the joke got old quick. In case you didn’t get the reference, the Nuns are of course men and would soon be VERY repackaged as the Headbangers. This went nowhere at all though and was FAR too long, at nearly 13 minutes counting commercial.

The Godwinns opened Wrestlemania XIII.

Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.

Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.

Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.

With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.

Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.

Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.

Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.

They would turn heel in mid 1997 and become the evil pig farmers which didn’t work very well. Here they are at Summerslam 1997.

Godwinns vs. Legion of Doom

The Godwinns are in Deliverance mode at this point and the LOD are done with the war against the Hart Foundation and in need of a good feud. Unfortunately there wasn’t a good team for them to feud with so we’re stuck with the Godwinns. Henry had his neck broken in a Doomsday Device months ago, prompting an attack on the LOD. The LOD has sworn revenge to set this up.

The LOD are actually referred to as Road Warriors here which is rare for the WWF. LOD cleans house to start, sending the Godwinns to the floor with Hawk hitting a clothesline off the apron. We get started with Phineas vs. Animal with the latter missing a charge into the corner, allowing the hog dudes to double team him. Animal comes back with a double clothesline of his own to send the Godwinns to the floor.

Off to Henry vs. Hawk with Henry trying to hurt Hawk’s neck as a receipt. Hawk sends him into the steps before dropping some legs for two back inside. Back to Phineas for a hangman’s choke on Hawk to no avail. Animal comes back in to work Henry’s arm before a Cactus clothesline from Animal puts both guys on the floor. Henry knocks Animal into the barricade as they come back in to shift momentum. Lou Albano is in the front row.

Back in and Phineas puts Animal in a bearhug as the crowd gets hot all over again. As the hold continues, Lawler talks about Blue Ball, Arkansas. I really don’t have a joke there but you have to mention that name. Animal breaks free but Henry breaks up the hot tag attempt. Phineas goes up but jumps into a clothesline and now we get the hot tag off to Hawk. House is cleaned as everything breaks down but Phineas breaks up the Doomsday Device on Henry. Not that it matters as the LOD hit a spike piledriver on a guy recovering from a broken neck for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was supposed to be about revenge but the match never acted like that at all. The Godwinns were horrible as heels and this was a very dull match as a result. LOD still had a little bit in the tank here but they were going to explode in the next few months but almost no one cared.

That was enough to get them in the title hunt so here’s their shot at In Your House XVIII.

Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Headbangers

The Headbangers are still champions after winning them last month. The Godwinns now have their Uncle Cletus (wrestler Tony Anthony, most famous as the Dirty White Boy) as a manager. It’s a brawl to start with the champions sending the hog farmers out to the floor. We start with Mosh vs. Phineas after a quick spitting contest. Phineas gets sent back to the floor very quickly, allowing Thrasher to hit something the camera doesn’t find important enough to show us. Apparently it was a springboard clothesline to the apron. Good to know.

Back in and we get some miscommunication, as the Headbangers try a double flapjack but Phineas drops his head down like a backdrop, nearly breaking his neck in the process. Things slow down again until we get Thrasher vs. Henry and a rollup gets two for the champion. Henry bails to the floor as the match stalls even more. Back to Phineas who is taken down, allowing Mosh to suplex Thrasher down onto Phineas for two. A middle rope clothesline from Thrasher puts Phineas down again, but Henry scores with a clothesline of his own to give the Godwinns control.

Thrasher gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor again with Phineas coming in for more stomping. Lawler tries some lame redneck jokes to save this boring match but even his corny one liners have no effect. A bunch of knee drops get two for Phineas but Thrasher comes back with a sunset flip, only to have Henry distract the referee.

Phineas hits a wheelbarrow slam for another near fall on Thrasher but a splash in the corner only hits buckle. The hot tag brings in Mosh to clean house, including powerbombing Thrasher onto Phineas for two. Everything breaks down and Mosh’s top rope seated senton is caught in a sloppy powerbomb by Phineas for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. Not only was this sloppy, but it was really dull stuff. The tag team division is just horrific at this point with nothing interesting and random title changes like this one that don’t help anything. Really boring match here with WAY too much stalling and nothing special in the ring at all.

Here’s a match that exists for reasons I don’t understand. From In Your House XX.

Godwinns vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers (Jacques and Pierre) were a glorified comedy tag team from 1993 who came back for a few weeks in 1998. No one is really sure why as they were nothing special and a very random team to bring back. It didn’t help that they lost their signature Mountie outfits and are now just generic guys. Henry and Jacques get us going with the fans booing both heel teams. After a minute of stalling it’s Henry grabbing a headlock but Jacques suplexes him down.

Off to Pierre to trade some wristlocks until Henry grabs an armbar. Back to Jacques who gets clotheslined down and screams a lot during a wristlock. This match is already boring and it doesn’t help after the fans haven’t been interested in anything tonight. The Godwinns double team Jacques as Lawler implies he wants Bill Clinton shot. Jacques gets a quick two off a sunset flip to Phineas but it’s back to Henry to keep control with a chinlock.

Phineas comes in to headbutt Jacques in the ribs but Jacques comes back with an elbow to the jaw. The ice cold tag brings in Pierre as things break down. A bad looking piledriver puts Phineas down and the Cannonball (assisted top rope flip splash from Pierre) gets two with Henry making the save. Not that it matters as Henry clotheslines Pierre from the apron to give Phineas the pin.

Rating: D-. It was long, it was boring, and the fans didn’t react to anything in the entire match. I’m not sure why the Quebecers were hired again but it never worked for the most part. The tag division still isn’t great from top to bottom but the Outlaws have definitely helped things out a lot.

The Godwinns because Southern Justice and acted as Jeff Jarrett’s bodyguards and occasional partners. Here they are in a six man at In Your House XXIV.

Jeff Jarrett/Southern Justice vs. DX

Jarrett has changed his gimmick around, now basically just a jerk with an attitude. He’s also cut his hair and dropped Tennessee Lee which is definitely the best thing that’s happened to him since he’s been back. It’s the Outlaws and X-Pac here and the Outlaws(Tag Champions again) sneak up on their opponents for an early advantage. X-Pac officially starts with Jeff and powerbombs him down for two before bringing in Road Dogg. An atomic drop sets up the shaky knee drop on Jarrett but Jeff tags off to Mark Canterbury (Henry Godwinn) to take over.

Canterbury slams Road Dogg down and drops an elbow for two before bringing Jarrett back inside. They hit heads in the corner though and both guys go down to give Dogg a breather. The tag brings in X-Pac for a spinning clothesline but Canterbury gets a blind tag and catches him in a powerslam. Off to Dennis Knight (Phineas Godwinn) for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Jarrett comes back and gets two off a powerslam before avoiding a charge in the corner to put X-Pac down again.

Back to Canterbury as Billy keeps trying to come in but getting held back by the referee. Jeff hooks a chinlock but X-Pac fights back to his feet and suplexes Jarrett down. Billy gets the hot tag and cleans house, allowing X-Pac to hit the Bronco Buster on Jeff. Canterbury takes X-Pac’s head off with a clothesline but Billy steals Jeff’s guitar. The referee takes it from him but drops it, allowing Jarrett to shatter the guitar over X-Pac’s head. Gunn hits a quick Fameasser on Canterbury for the pin.

Rating: D. This was another slow and rather dull match with the finish being less polished than it should have been. X-Pac can take a good beating and it was the right choice to have Gunn clean house. The guy may not have been the best in the world but he could speed things up when he needed to.

We’ll wrap it up on Raw, September 28, 1998.

Tag Titles: Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are just ridiculously over. Jerry says that he’s not going to talk about an alleged incident with Jim Carrey on the set of Man on the Moon which of course is kayfabe. Canterburry vs. Gunn to start things off and a flapjack gets two on Billy. Knight comes in to double team but it doesn’t last long. Now he comes in legally but walks into a neckbreaker for two. Off to Roadie for the shaky knee but Canterburry hits a knee to the back and a clothesline to take over. Back to Billy who cleans house and hits the Fameasser but Jarrett comes in with the guitar. Roadie steals it and hits Knight with it for the short DQ.

Henry Godwinn is a good example of a guy who got stuck with a gimmick but made the most of it. At the end of the day, there’s only so far you can take a hog farmer from Arkansas but he managed to get four years out of that thing. Eventually though, it ran out of steam and Henry was just a big brawler. Again, that can only take you so far and he reached that long before he was gone. I’ve seen worse though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 27, 2014
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re past the Cell and the main story is Bray Wyatt interfering in the main event and costing Ambrose what seemed to be a sure win. This would seem to set up Ambrose vs. Wyatt, which isn’t exactly Undertaker vs. Kane but at least it’s something new. We’re on the way to Survivor Series now and have four solid weeks to get there. Let’s get to it.

We open with a package of stills from Rollins vs. Ambrose, including what looked like a ghost popping up in the middle of the ring when Wyatt appeared. Cena vs. Orton gets a package of its own.

The Authority (bosses and Kane) are in the ring to open the show. Stephanie is her smug self and brags about having two Cell matches last night. HHH says Orton fought hard in a great match but plays up Rollins as the much bigger deal. This brings out a limping Rollins (flanked by the Stooges) to brag about winning the feud and being done with Ambrose once and for all. He sets down the briefcase and says he’ll be seeing Cena later tonight.

The music plays and Rollins poses but here’s a ticked off Orton to interrupt. Randy rips into Rollins and the Authority for bringing up Cena beating him twice in ten minutes. He blames Rollins and the Curb Stomp for the loss last week. Now he’s back in anger management and it’s time to deal with Rollins so the fight is on. HHH and Kane break it up with the boss saying we’re not doing this tonight. He wants Orton to take the night off and go get on his bus. They can deal with this later but tonight isn’t the right time. HHH mentions the Cell one more time and that earns Rollins an RKO. Orton leaves and Seth staggers out.

Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Stardust/Goldust

Earlier today Show was upset that Henry came down to the ring last night but Henry says he was just there to celebrate. Show isn’t sure but Henry suggests they win the Tag Team Titles. Show shoves Goldust around to start ebfore it’s off to Henry for a Vader clothesline to keep control. Stardust comes in and tries some shots of his own, only to be dragged into the corner for a tag off to Big Show.

We get the SHH chops before it’s back to Henry for a Sexual Chocolate chant. Henry actually gets into it this time and does a hip swivel in the corner. Show makes a blind tag and Henry isn’t cool with it as we take a break. Back with Show fighting out of a Goldust headlock and putting on a kind of Haas of Pain until Stardust makes the save. Off to Henry again with Stardust hammering him right back down.

Stardust cranks on a front facelock before hitting a springboard missile dropkick, only to send Henry into the corner for another tag to Show. Big Show cleans house and spears Stardust down before the KO Punch knocks him silly. Henry comes in and World’s Strongest Slams Show before putting Stardust on top to retain at 11:10.

Rating: D+. This was another obvious ending but Henry was floundering after losing to Rusev. I’m not looking forward to the battle of the fat guys but they’ve surprised me with the Rusev matches. It’s the logical turn after things have happened but the blowoff match needs to not bomb.

Henry gives him two more Slams and a splash after the match.

Post break Henry says that’s what he does.

Video on Roman Reigns.

Reigns is live via satellite and says he’d love to be in San Antonio tonight. The Cell match last night was carnage and he knew Dean would bring the fight. Rollins is a coward though and Reigns is coming for him.

AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Paige is on commentary because the feud just won’t die. Fox nails AJ to start and dropkicks her out to the floor. Back in and the northern lights suplex gets two and an elbow to the jaw puts AJ down. We hit the chinlock for a bit before AJ counters a slam with a spinning DDT. Fox comes right back with a backbreaker for two, prompting Paige to scream at Fox. AJ uses the distraction for the rollup pin at 3:37.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse but anything that gets us away from Paige vs. AJ is a good thing. I could go with Paige trying to find her new best friend, as long as we don’t get back to AJ vs. Paige in like a month. Let there be a division instead of just two girls fighting each other over and over.

Paige apologizes post match but destroys Fox with a kick to the chest and a catapult into the barricade.

Here’s Cena as the new #1 contender. He talks about the Spurs raising a championship banner tomorrow night before moving on to what happened last night. It may not have been the final chapter of his rivalry with Orton, but it was one of the biggest. The win brings Cena up to face Brock Lesnar, who is going to come back to WWE as a loser. From now on, everything Cena does is a statement to Lesnar, starting with beating Orton last night and moving on to Rollins tonight.

Tonight the new poster boy gets a wakeup call but here’s Stephanie to interrupt. She mentions the traditional Survivor Series match in a few weeks but for tonight, she has a business proposition. Cena has to play up to the crowd all the time and he has to be getting tired of it. John cuts her off and says he’s listening to the people but Stephanie says the people don’t matter.

They keep booing Cena, of course causing a Cena chant. That doesn’t count because all they want to see is violence and Cena on the mat and he never stops fighting. Why not come join the Authority where he can have the support he needs? Lesnar has beaten him twice and the people have cheered for Cena’s pain, but the Authority could offer some insurance. She ups the offer a bit: if Cena wins tonight, he can captain the Authority’s team at Survivor Series.

Cena says the only thing he deserves is a chance to come to the ring every night and work hard. The fans show up because they’re all a part of this no matter who they cheer for. Stephanie plays up the legacy card but Cena goes with the standard “I don’t sell out” promo, but here’s HHH to cut off his exit. HHH talks about being here for twenty years and how Cena is getting more and more banged up.

One day Cena is going to be the old man hobbling out here for one more hurrah and that isn’t going to work for him. Cena can try to fight the future but the Authority is going to make an example of him at the Survivor Series. At the end of the day, the Authority wins and there’s nothing Cena can do to stop it, so go try to find some men to join his team.

Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

Mizdow is already mimicking Miz even on the apron. Jimmy blocks some hiptoss attempts and gets two off a Bubba Bomb. Miz comes back with a clothesline and points to Mizdow but chokes Jimmy instead of tagging. A clothesline puts Miz on the floor and Mizdow runs outside to lay next to him. The double Uso dive takes the heels down and we go to a break. Back with Miz driving Jey into the apron for two.

We hit the chinlock on Jey before it’s back to Mizdown for a snap suplex. He hooks a chinlock of his own before the short DDT gets two. Mizdow tries the running clothesline in the corner but Jey grabs the arm and nails him in the jaw. Jimmy gets the hot tag and cross bodies Miz for two. Everything breaks down and the Usos bust out some twin magic so Jey can roll up Miz for the pin at 10:48.

Rating: C-. See, this is how you bring back an old idea. Yeah the Usos have done this before, but they haven’t used it in a very long time so it feels fresh again. This would be different than just doing the same thing week after week and wondering why it gets a weaker and weaker reaction every week.

Cena and Ziggler shake hands in the back so maybe John has his first recruit.

Here’s Hulk Hogan to reenforce his stance on the anti-cancer side of things. The cancer survivors get in the ring with him and that’s about it.

Bo Dallas comes out for an open challenge.

Bo Dallas vs. Ryback

Ryback appears to be a face again and the fans are WAY behind him. A release gorilla press and spinebuster set up the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 1:11. I can totally dig Ryback as the machine again.

We recap the opening segment.

Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose

Before the match, Ambrose gets on the announcers’ table and says he loved what he went through last night. He beat Seth within an inch of his life but found Bray Wyatt waiting on him. The law of the jungle are you don’t mess with someone with sharper claws than you have and you don’t screw with Dean Ambrose. Dean charges into the ring and hammers on Cesaro with the mic. They go up the ramp with Dean destroying Cesaro so no bell and no match.

Ambrose gets in the ring and calls out Bray Wyatt for the beating he deserves. Bray pops up on screen and says that he can’t help but see the deranged affliction on Dean’s face. They’re both victims of a system that makes people cringe at the sight of people like them. But what happens now? They’re not brothers or friends but they’re both a bit odd and that’s a warning to Ambrose.

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

Naomi quickly takes her down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam out of the corner. They head outside for a few seconds so Nikki can ram her into the apron before throwing on a chinlock back inside. Naomi makes her comeback and sends Nikki to the floor but Brie reluctantly cheats to give her sister the advantage, setting up the Rack Attack for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D. So this whole thing is going to wind up being about either a Bellas reunion or another match at Survivor Series? They can only go so far with Brie being a servant for four weeks, but I’m sure it’s going to be DEVASTATING and a test of her inner character or whatever sounds good for a plot on Total Divas.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane

Non-title. Ziggler hammers away to start and gets run over by a clothesline for his efforts. Kane drapes him ribs first over the top rope and we’re already in the chinlock. Ziggler fights up and dropkicks Kane out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ziggler planting Kane with a DDT but getting nailed by a hard right hand for two.

We’re back to the chinlock for a bit before Ziggler fights up and starts his comeback. The big elbow drop gets two but Dolph charges into the side slam for two. Back up and Kane fights out of the DDT, only to eat a superkick. The Zig Zag is countered and a big boot gets two for Kane. He loads up the chokeslam but gets countered into a sunset flip for the pin at 13:25.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s a good power guy vs. a good speed guy. Kane is a shell of his former self but he can still do his basic power stuff well enough when you give him a pinball like Ziggler to bounce all over the place. Nice match though and I like seeing a champion get a win. This is the kind of thing Kane should be doing.

Rollins comes out for the beatdown until Cena makes the save.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Seth went to the back for no apparent reason. Before the match, we have to simulate Lesnar vs. Cena in WWE2K15. After that goes nowhere, we’re ready to go with Rollins still sporting heavily taped ribs. Cena quickly takes him down to start and messes with the bad ribs. The sequence works so well that they do it again before Cena nails a single shot to the ribs to put Rollins on the floor.

This time Cena goes after him and sends him into the barricade before hammering away even more. Seth drives him ribs first into the apron to take over. They head back inside where Mercury gets in a cheap shot before Cena is thrown right back outside. After the Stooges get in their cheap shots, Seth takes Cena back inside and actually stays in for awhile this time. Rollins gets two off a Blockbuster and we take a break.

Back with the fight on the floor and Cena getting all fired up, only to be thrown into the steps. Seth takes him inside again for a chinlock but Cena fights back with his usual. That doesn’t last long either though as Cena is sidestepped to the floor. Rollins’ dive mostly hits but he collisdes with the announcers’ table to bang up the ribs again. Cena breaks up a superplex attempt and gets two off a high cross body, only to get DDT’ed down for the same.

We head outside for about the ninth time so far for some more shots to Cena’s head. Back in and Rollins gets two off the top rope knee to the head before it’s back to the chinlock. Cena rolls out but can’t put on the STF. Instead it’s a dropkick to John’s face but Rollins can’t follow up. Mercury gets in another shot on the floor and Cena has to dive back in to beat the count.

Cena fights back again and throws Rollins onto the Stooges, only to get nailed in the face again for another two count. There’s a tornado DDT for two on Rollins but he flips out of the AA. An enziguri misses Cena but Seth comes back with the standing Sliced Bread #2 for another near fall. Cena’s superplex is countered and Seth charges across the ring for a buckle bomb and an even closer two. The Curb Stomp is countered into the STF but Kane comes in for the DQ at 22:15.

Rating: B. Really solid effort here from both guys but you might as well have advertised it as a DQ in the first place. Rollins continues to be protected and that’s a good thing for his future. The match wasn’t a classic but it did everything it needed to and had the only ending they could go with.

Ziggler comes out for the save and the entire locker room joins him to clean house. Cena AA’s Slater and Dallas before staring down the Authority to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Not the best show in the world but they’ve got some interesting stuff coming. Cena recruiting help in the next few weeks should give us some intriguing developments, even though Orton as the last guy is fairly clear. The wrestling tonight wasn’t bad but more importantly they made some necessary changes to freshen things up a bit. It’s not a good show but it gives me hope and the fresh start they’ve needed for a long time now.

Results

Stardust/Goldust b. Big Show/Mark Henry – Stardust pinned Big Show after a World’s Strongest Slam from Henry

AJ Lee b. Alicia Fox – Rollup

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdown – Small package to Miz

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack

Dolph Ziggler b. Kane – Sunset flip

John Cena b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Hardcore Heaven 2000
Date: May 14, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

In case that isn’t enough for you, Rob Van Dam is back from his broken ankle. Now you might think that this is the perfect time for Van Dam to take his rightful place at the top of the company now that he’s no longer TV Champion and now can focus on the World Title. Instead, he has a match against Jerry Lynn to continue their series. Let’s get to it.

We actually open with the theme song for the first time in this series.

Joel and Joey are in the ring with Joey mentioning various Milwaukee sports teams. The crowd isn’t impressed so he goes with bratwurst and beer to get the people on his side. Joel does his rhyme and actually isn’t cut off by Cyrus. Joey says he doesn’t care what the censors think because tonight they’re in hardcore heaven. With no interruption and the theme song already done, they just walk up the ramp (making its return on the side of the ring) to the broadcast booth while everyone stands around with nothing to do.

Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka

These two respect each other so there’s no hatred to the match. Mahoney just stands in the ring for his whole song (Big Balls by AC/DC) in a far too long entrance. Tanaka comes out as well but Cyrus appears at the broadcast booth and tries to throw Gertner out. Joel won’t go, so Cyrus has Kintaro Kanemura choke him out before taking over Joel’s spot.

As for the match, they actually have a technical sequence to start until Mahoney starts swinging to take over. Tanaka cross bodies him down for two and puts on an armbar. Balls sends him to the floor and hits a nice dive before nailing Masato with a beer. Both guys are whipped into the barricade and Tanaka drags him onto the ramp. The running chair to the head staggers Mahoney and a tornado DDT puts him down.

They head back inside and have a chair duel before three straight HARD chair shots to the head put Tanaka down. Back up and a superkick into the chair into Masato’s face puts him down but the fans want tables. Instead they get more chairs and Tanaka hits the tornado DDT onto said chairs for two.

The Roaring Elbow misses and Nutcracker Suite gets two. Diamond Dust gets the same and Tanaka is stunned that someone kicked out of his big move. Tanaka tries to jump over him but gets caught in another Nutcracker Suite onto the chairs for an even closer two. Balls’ middle rope leg only hits chair but he kicks out of the Roaring Elbow. A top rope chair to the head doesn’t put Balls down but the Roaring Elbow is enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess but it was exactly what you have to expect from these two. The lack of tables made this a lot better, though it wasn’t all that good either way. I like the trading finishers but when that’s almost the entire match, it really doesn’t hold up as well as it does with a good build.

Lance Storm says Justin is all alone tonight and the run ends.

Little Guido vs. Simon Diamond vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey (now insane with red hair and an obsession with fire) has his new manager the Sinisiter Minister, Guido has Big Sal, but Simon has Mitch, The Prodigy (never went anywhere), the Prodigette (had some success on the independent circuit) and the Muskateer, who is exactly what he sounds like, complete with sword. Mikey recently burned Big Sal so half of his face is bandaged up. Everyone tries their finishers to start but no one makes any significant contact until Mikey superkicks Simon down for two.

Mikey charges into Guido’s elbow in the corner and Guido headscissors Simon out of the corner. A powerbomb out of the corner gets two on Simon but Mikey’s missile dropkick gets two on Guido. Simon hits rolling suplexes into a gordbuster on Mikey for two as Guido makes a save. Simon and Mikey head to the floor and most of the lights go out. Mikey hits Guido with a camera and the entourages go after Sal.

Simon’s dive is caught in mid air by the big man but Mikey dives on all of them to put everybody down. Sal crushes the entourage as Guido hits a flying armbar for two on Mikey back inside. The lights are still mostly out. Guido fights out of the Whippersnapper but Simon can’t escape and gets pinned.

Down to Mikey vs. Guido with Mikey lifting Guido in a Pedigree but putting Guido onto his shoulders and spinning him around before putting him down in the sitout Pedigree. The fans are very impressed but it only gets two. Big Sal comes in and Guido climbs onto his shoulders, only to miss a huge elbow drop. Mikey throws a fireball at Sal to burn him again, only to walk into a Tomikaze for the pin.

Rating: C. Good enough match here, but WAY too many people wandering around at ringside. That spinning Pedigree from Mikey was something else and I understand why he busted it out even though he was losing, but it still feels wasted. The lights going out make ECW look amateurish and that’s not good when you’re already the third rate promotion.

Justin Credible, now with Francine, says he’s been taking people’s blood for seven years now. He’s traded a Tag Team Title for this belt and that’s all that matters. Storm will see a real champion tonight.

The lights are back on as the Dangerous Alliance comes to the ring. Billy Wiles now has Elvis sideburns. Cyrus is annoyed that Elektra is in a jacket. Lou E. Dangerously tells us how great he is but he has to threaten the fans with Anderson violence if they don’t shut up. This is basically the same thing that he did last time. Lou claims that Elektra is all natural, which is pretty laughable. Before the match, Jazz comes out and beats up the Alliance, including stripping Elektra down to a Mike Awesome t-shirt and what are basically strings underneath it. Anderson plants Jazz with a spinebuster but Kid Kash runs out for his match.

C.W. Anderson vs. Kid Kash

Kash quickly sends Anderson to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down before the bell. Anderson nails a big left hand right after we get going but walks into a dropkick to put him on the floor. Kash dives off the apron to take Wiles down with a hurricanrana. Back in and Kash tries a hurricarana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen one of those. C.W. hammers away in the corner and knocks Kash to the floor, only to have Wiles drop Kid across the barricade.

Back in and Kash climbs the corner for a cross body and two, only to walk into a big clothesline. A reverse suplex gets two for Anderson and a powerslam gets the same. Kash avoids a charge in the corner but has to deal with Wiles. Lou E. misses a phone shot and hits Billy, only to have C.W. nail Kash with a superkick for another two. Anderson goes up but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent enough power vs. speed match but the interference got annoying fast. Wiles and Dangerously become more and more useless every time they appear but Anderson seems to have something special to him. He could use someone to talk for him but Lou isn’t quite up to that level either.

Bill Alfonso is worried about Van Dam coming back from his injury so soon. Van Dam is calm, especially with Scotty Anton being in his corner.

Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

It’s nice to see the two young tag teams getting to be in the same match for a change. It’s Angel/DeVito here. The brawl starts on the ramp with Doring and Roadkill getting the better of Da Baldies. Nova and Chetti hammer away on DeVito in the ring but Angel switches places with him and takes a beating as well. Now we get the big showdown with Da Baldies down on the floor.

Doring’s jawbreaker puts Nova down but Chetti kicks Roadkill in the face. Chetti and Doring, the first two graduates of the House of Hardcore, slug it out but Da Baldies clean house. Roadkill takes both of them out with his springboard clothesline and Nova hits a Swanton Bomb on DeVito but Nova takes a Hart Attack from Doring and Roadkill. Da Baldies hit a double spinebuster to put Roadkill through two chairs but Nova hits a jawbreaker/DDT combo to put them both down.

Doring hits a top rope elbow on Angel but Grimes runs in for the save. Doring beats him up too but Angel BLASTS Doring with a guitar for the elimination. We’re down to Nova/Chetti vs. Da Baldies but Roadkill puts Grimes on a table and hits a HUGE splash to put both guys out. Back in the ring and Da Baldies are in full control and Nova is put in the Tree of Woe. Angel charges at Nova but he does a situp into a Diamond Cutter to drop Nova. The Amityville Horror and Tidal Wave are enough to pin DeVito.

Rating: C. This was a huge spotfest but also proof that these kind of matches can work without weapons. Other than the guitar shot, this was almost all about the wrestlers doing their stuff and that’s what a match is supposed to be. It’s also nice to see good teams getting pushed, but ECW won’t being Tag Team Titles for awhile for whatever reason they had at this point. You would think this would be a good place to have the titles on the line, but for some reason it didn’t happen.

Post match Da Baldies keep fighting until New Jack comes out with his weapons, including a staple gun and a fork. Time for another impromptu match.

New Jack vs. Angel

DeVito is still out there and already busted open. New Jack sends him into the crowd and I can barely see a thing. They finally get to a clearing and New Jack sets up a table. Jack stands around a lot before finally laying DeVito out and climbing the balcony. The big dive connects more safely this time and Jack staggers back to the ring, where Nova and Chetti are beating up Angel. A big guitar shot knocks Angel out but New Jack grabs a chair and blasts him in the head with a top rope chair shot to finally pin Angel.

Rating: F. Is this supposed to mean that New Jack has finally beaten Angel? That’s very impressive as it only took two people beating on Angel for five minutes after Angel already had a match while New Jack was doing something else. This was much more of an angle than a match as they barely had any contact until the ending. Hopefully this ends these two interacting.

Joey explains the opening being so awkward. Apparently Tommy Dreamer staggered into the arena covered in blood thanks to a beating from Justin Credible and Joey didn’t know what to do. Cyrus and Joey bicker and Cyrus mentions that TNN will soon have WWF programming. More on this later.

Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.

Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.

Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.

Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.

W*ING Kanemura comes out to attack Tajiri but Dusty Rhodes makes the save with elbows to the head. Rhino comes out to beat up the American Dream but we’ve got Sandman, segueing into the next match.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman’s entrance takes WAY too much time, but at least some of the blood gets cleaned up. Sandman seems especially calm for someone whose wife was nearly broken in half. Rhino throws him around with ease but Sandman comes back with left hands to send it to the floor. We get the first table thrown into the ring but Rhino wants the timekeeper’s table. Sandman nails him with some more left hands and puts the table on the ramp.

Rhino is sent into the barricade before they both get up on the ramp. The table is set up against the ropes on the ramp but Rhino’s Gore misses Sandman and only hits the wood. They head inside with Sandman hitting two straight piledrivers. Jack Victory tries to interfere but Lori nails him in the back with a Singapore cane.

Sandman goes after them but Rhino nails him from behind. Lori is dragged to the ring and piledriven off the apron through a table at ringside. Corino and Victory set up the table in the corner and drag Lori in front of it. Rhino loads up a Gore but Sandman canes him in the head. He goes to Lori but takes the Gore through the table to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D-. This was horrible with Sandman dragging down the young and talented Rhino. I don’t see the need to have Lori get beaten up again but at least the fans didn’t cheer when it happened. They’re setting up Rhino vs. Van Dam for a war but Sandman is really making these things hard to sit through.

Rhino yells at Lori, telling her Happy Mother’s Day.

The announcers talk all serious while talking about the company website and showing the Pervert Productions section. I think you can fill in the gaps.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn has been more aggressive lately and is angry over not being as respected as Van Dam. Rob has Bill Alfonso and Scotty Anton with him. Van Dam is just insanely over. Scotty and Rob hug before the match because they’re best friends and would NEVER turn on each other. Feeling out process to start with the fans entirely behind Van Dam. Both guys speed things up but neither can hit anything with Van Dam’s flip legdrop missing, giving us a standoff.

Rob’s spin kick misses but the second connects, setting up a cartwheel into a moonsault for two. They head outside with Lynn getting crotched on the barricade and kicked in the face to knock him into the crowd. The spinning kick to the back drives a chair into Lynn’s spine but Van Dam is slow getting up. Van Dam misses a moonsault press off the barricade and Lynn takes over back inside.

Lynn jumps to the middle rope but his tornado DDT is countered and both guys nail kicks at the same time. Alfonso puts in a chair but Lynn counters two straight Van Daminators. Instead Rob drops the chair and tries a legsweep but Jerry hits a Fameasser onto the chair for two. A stepover kick to the face and Rolling Thunder get two for Rob and he skateboards the chair into Jerry’s face in the corner for two more.

The monkey flip onto the chair is countered and Lynn hits a powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair for his first near fall in awhile. A gorgeous superplex drops Rob for yet another two. Lynn sends him into the buckle and sets up a table on the floor. Rob counters a tornado DDT through the table and heads back inside, only to get crotched on the top rope.

A bulldog from Jerry drives Van Dam through the table and both guys are down. Jerry gets back up and tries a running dive off the apron but he misses Rob and hits Anton. Back in and Lynn’s back is bleeding from the bulldog. Rob crotches him on the top rope and hits a Van Daminator with Alfonso’s help. Even Joey is getting tired of Alfonso’s interference. The chair is laid over Lynn and the Five Star connects as Cyrus leaves commentary.

Corino and Victory come in but Lynn fights them off, squashing rumors that he’s in the Network. Rhino comes in and Gores Lynn before powerbombing Rob. Van Dam fights back but Cyrus comes in and takes a Van Daminator. Jerry dropkicks a chair into Alfonso’s face but gets kicked down again. Rob goes up for the Five Star but Anton turns on him, surprising no one at all. Lynn didn’t see what Scotty did, which will be brought up on commentary later. Rob’s head slams into the ramp but the cradle piledriver only gets two. A second one onto a chair is good enough for Lynn to FINALLY pin Van Dam.

Rating: B. The Network is swallowing the entire promotion at this point. This match could have been done exactly the same way with just Alfonso and Anton but it’s ECW so you have to overbook it. It was the usual entertaining match between these two, but the win doesn’t do anything for Jerry at this point as he should have gotten the TV Title a year ago. It’s still the biggest win of his career but it doesn’t mean nearly as much as it could have. That was Van Dam’s first pinfall loss in two and a half years.

ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Francine and Dawn Marie are at ringside as well. Before the match Justin says this is going to be one on one with him vs. Lance. If anyone comes out to face him besides Storm and Storm alone, he’ll throw the belt in the garbage. This brings out Dreamer but Heyman cuts him off, saying Justin has them by the balls right now and promising Dreamer another shot at Heat Wave. Dreamer shakes Storm’s hand, flips Heyman off, and leaves. Yet another bait and switch.

ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible

Storm goes right after the champion to start and Justin bails to the floor to stall. Back in and Lance nails some right hands before dropkicking Credible back to the floor. Lance’s dive hits Singapore cane though and he’s already busted open. Both guys are sent into the barricade and Justin sets up a table on the ramp. Back in and they trade chops with Lance getting the better of it, only to charge into a boot in the corner.

The fans LOUDLY chant that they want Dreamer as Justin puts on a chinlock. Back up and a clothesline drops Lance and they trade loud chops. The fans realize Dreamer isn’t coming and quiet down a lot. A thumb to the eye puts Storm back down and we hit the chinlock again. Storm fights up again and grabs a hurricanrana to get a breather before hammering away in the corner.

In a really impressive athletic display, Storm jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. Storm gets another two off a dropkick and they fight over a tombstone until Storm suplexes him down for another two. Credible nails a superkick for two of his own but Storm rolls through a cross body to get a breather. Justin’s abdominal stretch is countered into a hiptoss over the top rope and through the table for two back inside.

Back up and Storm hooks the half crab in the middle of the ring but Francine nails him with her high heeled shoe. Dawn comes in for a catfight, earning her That’s Incredible from the champion. Storm nails Justin with the Singapore cane and gets two off a piledriver. That’s Incredible is only good for two and a DDT gets the same. Storm comes back with a catapult into the post and a dropkick to the side of the head but gets crotched on the top rope. Another That’s Incredible retains Justin’s title.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable but Justin is a huge letdown after guys like Taz, Awesome, Tanaka and even Dreamer. The guy just isn’t a main event level guy no matter how much ECW tries to shine him up. He’s nothing more than a loudmouth in jean shorts that can’t back it up in the ring at all. This would be Storm’s last match as he went to WCW over Heyman not being able to pay him.

Dreamer comes out and destroys both Credible and Francine to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was watchable for the most part but the bad parts bring down the good stuff that the show had going for it. The problem here is where we should go now. It seems like we’re heading for Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton, which is a meaningless match for Rob because no one cares about Anton and another waste of how over he is. Lynn getting the win is nice for him but where can he go? Against Rhino maybe? The real star of the night was Steve Corino who looked like a warrior going through that bloodbath, but he’s still stuck in the Network angle that is taking over everything.

ECW on TNN
Date: May 12, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Hardcore Heaven and there really isn’t all that much set up for the card. We’re getting RVD vs. Lynn and Credible vs. Storm for the title (in theory) but I’m not sure what else we should expect. Knowing ECW I’m sure there will be some impromptu matches because Heyman expects his guys to be insane and get into arguments without a card being necessary. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Sinister Minster and Mikey Whipwreck in the back talking about their usual evil when the cameraman hears something. It turns out that Mikey has lit him on fire because Whipwreck is a weird dude.

Joel does his limerick about debuting in Minneapolis until Dreamer comes out. He can’t say anything though because Simon Diamond comes out to complain about not being taken seriously. Clearly Dreamer has lost his touch and isn’t as hungry as he used to be. You know those are fighting words.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond

They’re almost immediately on the floor and brawling in the crowd as is Dreamer’s custom. Tommy hammers away in the crowd and knocks Simon around like the comedy guy that he is. The Prodigy finally validates his employment by clotheslining Dreamer, only to have Tommy come right back with a suplex. He ties Simon in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch in the corner before hitting the running dropkick into a chair onto Diamond’s face. More goons try to interfere so Simon can DDT him down, only to have the referee take a chair away from Diamond. Back up and Dreamer’s DDT is enough for the pin.

Rating: D. So wait, ECW can have traditional rules thrown out the window but when Dreamer is in trouble the referee actually does his job? The match was just there to give Dreamer a win when he’s going into a big match on Sunday. Other than that there’s just nothing here and it’s your traditional ECW TV match.

Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm

There must be a winner. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron to start and nails a nice flip dive off the apron for good measure. They head inside for the first time with Lance coming back with a quick superkick and two before throwing on what would become the Canadian Maple Leaf. That goes nowhere as Jerry kicks away and tries a rollup for two, firing off a nice pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts.

Time for a chair because Heaven forbid we get to have something like the good wrestlers wrestling. Lynn kicks it into Storm’s face and nails a tornado DDT onto the chair for two as Dawn Marie offers a distraction. Justin Credible comes in with a crutch and nails Lynn by mistake, giving Storm the fluke pin.

Rating: D+. This was going to be better just based on who was in the match. That being said, there’s only so much you can do with a little under seven minutes and interference included. It wasn’t terrible and at least it helps to set up something for Sunday. You know, for the pay per view that is barely mentioned.

Dreamer comes out to fight go after Justin, only to have Storm dive on both and start a three way brawl.

Back from a break with Lynn down in the ring and Cyrus coming out for a chat. We get straight to the cheap heat with Cyrus making fun of Minnesota, which gets on Jerry’s nerves. Cyrus offers him a spot in the Network but Tajiri comes out to break it up. Lynn nails Tajiri with a clothesline but says he did it for himself and not the Network.

Jerry leaves and here are Corino and Victory to go after Tajiri. He comes back with kicks but here’s Rhino to start a match.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Tajiri

Tajiri hammers away to start and nails the handspring elbow. They head outside for a moonsault off the apron before throwing a table inside. Tajiri blows the mist in Rhino’s eyes but has to kick Corino down. Steve is laid on the table for a top rope double stomp, only to get Gored in half by the champ. Instead of covering though he loads up the piledriver from the apron through a table on the floor to retain the title.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but they needed more time. Tajiri is a guy that can fire off kicks like there’s no tomorrow but he needs something more to fight off a monster like Rhino. This Network stuff is getting old though as Rhino is the kind of monster that doesn’t need help to get anywhere yet for some reason that’s all we see.

Sandman comes out for the save and gets nailed as well, drawing out Van Dam for the real save. A kick to the face drops Rhino and the Five Star ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. Please let this show die already. The stuff we’re sitting through here is already old as it’s just running in circles. With the World Title out of the Network story, it makes the belt seem even more worthless. This goes back to the old idea of the TV Title meaning more than the World Title which is one of those things that ECW always did and never quite held up. Just make Rob the top guy already and be done with it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Back in the 80s, PPV didn’t mean nearly as much as it did today. Until November of 1987, there was only one WWF PPV a year and that was Wrestlemania. Wrestlemania 3 was a huge success and it was clear that Wrestlemania 4 would be big too. Finally it dawned on them: why not do more of these things? Combine that with the idea of getting to air the show at the same time as Jim Crockett’s (basically the NWA owner at that point) Starrcade to screw them over (Vince told the cable companies either carry Survivor Series or you don’t get to carry Wrestlemania), there was no reason to not go with it.

That being said, they needed an idea. Earlier in the year, the WWF had run a few house shows with elimination tag matches as the main event. These shows were huge successes, so why not run a full card of them? Headlined by Team Hogan vs. Team Andre in Andre’s first match since Wrestlemania when he lost to Hogan, plus three other matches headlined by big feuds, you had a solid card all set. Let’s get to it.

Survivor Series 1987
Date: November 26, 1987
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 21,300
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

So we’re here in Richfield, just outside of Cleveland, where the first two of these shows would take place. There are four matches on the card tonight but none of them compare to the main event which has Andre vs. Hogan. The idea is that it gives Andre a chance for revenge and a chance for Hogan to prove that his initial win wasn’t a fluke. This was still the money match in the company so it’s a huge deal. Let’s get to it.

The Fink introduces Jesse and Gorilla which is something you don’t often see anymore.

After a highlight package we’re ready to go.

Gorilla and Jess talk about the whole card, all four matches on it. They also explain the rules, which I’m sure most of you are familiar with. We have ten man (or woman or team) tag team matches and it’s standard elimination rules, meaning you can be out via pin, submission, countout or DQ. Also you can be put out via a referee’s discretion due to injury but that never actually happens as far as I remember.

Team Honky (there’s a name you could never get away with today) is ready for Team Savage and Honky says he’ll shake rattle and roll Elizabeth. He’s already shoved her down which is a big deal as Liz was like the ultimate untouchable woman.

Team Honky Tonk Man vs. Team Randy Savage

Honky Tonk Man, Harley Race, Ron Bass, Danny Davis, Hercules

Randy Savage, Jim Duggan, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, Brutus Beefcake

Honky doesn’t have Cool Cocky bad as his theme music yet which is a shame. It’s amazing how great the music got in the late 80s. After the heel entrances, Team Savage says they’re here to settle scores. This was a different time as almost all of the faces were friends by default as were the heels just because they were faces and heels. The feuds going into this are Honky vs. Savage and Race vs. Duggan. Other than that the guys are just random midcarders who are faces or heels on a team, which is a pretty cool idea.

The place erupts for Savage’s entrance. Even Jesse couldn’t deny how great Randy was and was a huge fan in his own right. It was clear they had to do something with him soon, and they certainly did soon enough. In the answer to a trivia question, it’s Beefcake vs. Hercules starting the first Survivor Series match ever. Beefcake struts a bit and not much goes on for the first 20 seconds or so.

Hercules (guess what he’s known for) runs Beefcake over but walks into Barber’s sleeper but he falls into his corner to tag in Davis, one of the lowest lever guys you’ll ever find who somehow wasn’t a jobber. He’s a wrestling referee. Seriously, that’s the extent of his gimmick. He’s a referee who cheated a lot and got fired. Savage and Steamboat (who are apparently fine after wanting to kill each other about eight months ago) take turns on Davis but Steamboat misses a charge and it’s off to Race, the current King of the WWF.

Steamboat chops Race in the head and man alive how amazing would those two be able to be in a long old school program? Steamboat skins the cat (I’ve asked this many times, but is that really the best name they could come up with for that? I mean, skinning a cat?) and sends Race to the floor before bringing in Duggan to pound away on Race, knocking him to the floor. Hacksaw heads out with him and they brawl to a double countout, making it 4-4.

Bass (a standard old school cowboy) comes in to face Roberts but it’s quickly off to Savage. A knee sends Bass into the corner and Savage is starting to roll very fast. Savage immediately goes after Honky due to the really bad blood between the two of them and it’s lets Bass get in a shot. Off to the IC Champion (Honky) who gets in some cheap shots but like any good heel, he tags out when Savage starts coming back.

Bass comes in again but a blind tag brings in Barber (Beefcake for you younguns) who hits a high knee for the elimination. Hercules comes in and the bad guys start working over Beefcake’s arm. Off to Honky with an armbar and then right back to Herc. Wisely they’re keeping that schmuck Danny Davis out of there. I guess he’s there because he works for Jimmy Hart but other than that there’s no logical reason for him to be there.

Beefcake tries to punch his way out of trouble but Honky stays on the arm. To say Honky wasn’t much on offense is an understatement as he barely looks to be cranking on the hold at all. Beefcake fights out of the hold but won’t tag because he’s kind of dumb. Davis adds the only thing he’s going to add the whole match and knees Beefcake in the back so that Honky can hit the Shake Rattle and Roll (swinging neckbreaker) for the pin on Beefcake to tie us up at three.

Off to Savage vs. Hercules with the power guy taking over. Davis comes in and things suddenly go downhill for Honky’s team. Yeah, a referee beating on Randy Savage doesn’t work. Who would have guessed? Honky comes in and gets elbowed in the head which lets Savage tag in Jake to pound away. The comeback doesn’t last long though as Jake charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Herc. That goes nowhere so here’s Davis and since his offense sucks (BECAUSE HE’S A REFEREE) Jake shrugs it all off and DDTs him to death, making it 3-2 (Savage/Steamboat/Roberts vs. Hercules/Honky).

Herc comes in and takes Jake down and Savage tries to come in for a save, which just allows the heels to double team Jake. Savage isn’t thinking here because of his anger, almost like…..a savage. Oh you’re very clever WWF. Honky hooks a chinlock and Hercules comes in to do the same. Jake hits a jawbreaker to escape and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat who cleans house with chops.

A top rope chop has Herc reeling and it’s off to Savage for the elbow. It’s just Honky left and Savage explodes on him, only to miss another charge (third one for Savage’s team) and let Honky get in some offense. That lasts all of six seconds as the beating continues. Jake comes in and pounds away on him, followed by Savage dropping a double ax. An atomic drop sends Honky to the floor and he’s like screw this and takes the countout. Can you blame him?

Rating: B. This was a really fun match with a good story to it. The fans HATED Honky and the idea of getting him caught at the end with no one to defend him had the fans going nuts. Honky vs. Savage was a great feud but it never had a blowoff due to a bunch of backstage stuff. Honky would somehow hold the title nine more months before perhaps the greatest end to a title run ever at Summerslam. This was a great choice for a first match ever for the concept too as it showed how the idea worked and gave the fans something to cheer about too. Really good stuff.

Heenan and Team Andre can’t wait to get their hands on Hogan. We get a clip from the controversial cover at Wrestlemania 3, which when you look at it, Heenan has a point: the referee wouldn’t have been able to see Hogan’s shoulder get up. The point of this is Hogan is going to be caught against all these monsters and then it’s going to be Andre vs. Hogan and Andre will kill him.

Team Fabulous Moolah vs. Team Sensational Sherri

Fabulous Moolah, Jumping Bomb Angels, Velvet McIntyre, Rockin Robin

Sensational Sherri, Glamour Girls, Dawn Marie, Donna Christianello

Sherri recently took the Women’s Title from Moolah who is certainly on the decline in her career. To be fair she’s 64 years old here and had been champion earlier in the year. The Angels are the kind of a team that would blow have blown up the internet if it had existed back then. They were awesome high fliers and I’ve never seen women like them since. Sherri and Velvet start us off as Jesse talks about being in The Running Man.

Sherri beats on Velvet but a cross body puts her down and it’s off to Moolah. Moolah literally pulls in Christianello and it’s off to a Bomb Angel who comes in with a slingshot kick. Back to Velvet as these girls are tagging in and out fast. Velvet gets a quick victory roll on Donna to eliminate her. She was just filling in a spot so that’s a good elimination to get out of the way. Judy Martin of the Glamour Girls (the Women’s Tag Champions. The titles didn’t last long) comes in followed quickly by Dawn Marie (this one is old. The more famous one would be in high school still at this point) who does nothing of note.

Martin is back in vs. Robin, the half sister of Jake Roberts, but it’s quickly back to Marie who is another filler on the team. Robin quick cross bodies her for the pin and it’s 5-3. It’s Kai vs. Izuki now with Izuki flying all over the place before Matrixing out of a cover. Jesse sounds amazed by her and rightfully so given what women’s wrestling was like at this time. A Sin Cara style armdrag takes Kai down and it’s off to Sherri who gets beaten up as well before it’s off to Robin again.

Robin tries a monkey flip out of the corner but the now legal Martin lands on her. The champ (Sherri in this case) comes in with a quick suplex to put Robin out and get us down to 4-3. Izuki comes in and things speed up again. Martin back in and she spins Izuki around by the hair. FREAKING OW MAN! Off to Moolah who hits a better monkey flip than Robin before getting elbowed down by Martin for two.

Off to the Angel that isn’t Izuki vs. Kai but Non-Izuki misses a dropkick. Moolah literally gets dragged into the ring and starts her very old school slow paced offense. Sherri cheats with Martin on a double clothesline to eliminate Moolah and it’s tied at 3-3. Off to Izuki vs. Martin before it’s quickly back to Non-Izuki. Jesse is thrilled with the idea of all the cheating you could do in this match. Velvet puts on a Boston Crab before shifting to a surfboard. McIntyre pulls Sherri in and Sensational hits a kind of gutwrench suplex which drives Velvet’s neck into the mat and I think somewhat legit hurting her back.

Izuki comes in for a few seconds before it’s back to Velvet and Sherri with Velvet hooking a giant swing. Velvet grabs a victory roll for a quick pin and she looks like she’s in agony. She could barely cradle Sherri’s legs. Off to Izuki as Velvet can’t even stand on the apron. Izuki tries to suplex Martin but she’s just too fat. The third attempt finally works but it only gets two. Izuki hooks a body scissors but gets countered into a slingshot. It’s right into her corner and Velvet comes in, only to get caught in an electric chair drop for the pin.

It’s down to the Glamour Girls vs. the Jumping Bomb Angels and the Angels take over very quickly, with Izuki slingshotting Martin onto Kai. Kai kicks Non-Izuki in the back but misses a splash. Izuki hits a top rope crossbody and it’s down to 2-1. Martin comes in and hits something like Wasteland on Izuki for two. Non-Izuki comes in with a top rope knee and things speed up. Jimmy Hart gets dropkicked and a top rope clothesline by Non-Izuki gets the final pin.

Rating: C+. While it wasn’t as good as the opener, this was still pretty solid stuff. The Angels were AWESOME for their time and were still good by today’s standards. This would set up a title match at the first Royal Rumble with the Angels taking the titles. One important difference between today’s women and this generations: these girls were wrestlers who happened to be female. Today the Divas come off as female wrestlers if that makes sense.

Most of Team Hart Foundation says they’re not worried about Team Strike Force. Jimmy Hart pops in and is all messed up after getting dropped.

The Bolsheviks do the Russian National Anthem deal.

Strike Force and company are ready as well.

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Hart Foundation, Bolsheviks, Demolition, Dream Team, Islanders

Strike Force, British Bulldogs, Killer Bees, Young Stallions, Fabulous Rougeaus

The rules here are that if one member of a team is eliminated, both members are out so it’s still just five eliminations needed. Strike Force recently stunned the Harts for the titles. I think you should know every team here. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Dino Bravo and the Stallions are Jim Powers and Paul Roma. I’m a big Strike Force fan so it’s good to see the fans pop loudly for them.

I’ve seen this show many times as it was one of my favorite tapes but I’ve never figured something out: for this and the main event, the lights are turned down. Why would that be the case? It’s clearly darker in the arena now and it’s not a dome with sunlight coming in or anything. I’ve never gotten that. Volkoff and Martel start things off. There are so many people on the apron that you can’t see most of the ring from a standard camera shot.

Volkoff powers him down to start before bringing in Zhukov. Since Zhukov is pretty much worthless, Martel beats him up and brings in Santana for the forearm out of nowhere for the quick pin. Santana’s reward for the pin: he gets to fight Ax. Ax does his pounding but knocks Tito into the corner and it’s off to Jacques Rougeau who speeds things up with a jumping back elbow to take over.

Dino Bravo comes in and the good guys start speeding up their tags. I’m sorry for all of the play by play in this but when you have 18 guys in a match there isn’t much room for analysis or anything else. After Bravo gets beaten up by about five different guys we wind up with Smash vs. Dynamite and the Bulldog (Dynamite) gets caught in the heel corner. Well actually it would be the heel side of the ring because they don’t all fit in one corner but corner sounds better.

Off to Haku and they chop it out before Dynamite tags in a Killer Bee who tags in the other Killer Bee. Neidhart comes in and gets his legs stretched by Brunzell and Roma. Back to Smash and then Ax who beat on the (somehow) future Horseman. I’m not listing a lot of the tags as there are probably five of them a minute and there’s no point in listing off stuff like “Ax comes in and hits Roma once before tagging back out.”

Roma tags in Powers who gets beaten down just as fast as Roma did, so it’s off to Jacques again. Not that it matters much as Jacques misses a cross body and Smash gets a quick pin. That’s good as we’re now down to sixteen guys left in the match. Off to Dynamite vs. Tama but Powers comes in, only to hesitate and gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Neidhart comes in and puts him in an over the shoulder powerbomb position as Haku drops a double ax (is there a single ax?) to the chest.

Off to Roman who gets beaten up by Ax and then Valentine. The Stallions are jobbers for all intents and purposes but they were great at selling so there was a point to having them around. Bravo comes in and hits a gutwrench suplex for two. Roma crawls over and brings in a Killer Bee who tags out to Dynamite almost immediately to face Smash. Smash fires off something similar to Sheamus’ ten forearms but shoves the referee, drawing the DQ to knock out Demolition. Notice that they kept Demolition VERY strong here and didn’t let them get pinned.

Bret immediately comes in and piledrives Dynamite for only two. Jesse immediately starts singing Bret’s praises as he was known to do. Bret misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first and it’s off to Powers again to face Tama. Tama misses a Vader Bomb and there’s the tag to Martel. Rick cleans house but when he puts the Boston Crab on he’s too close to the ropes and Neidhart gets a tag.

Rick gets away enough to bring in Santana who hits the forearm almost immediately for two. The saving shot to the back of Santana’s head by Bret is enough for Neidhart to get a pin and eliminate the champions. To recap, we have the Harts, the Dream Team and the Islanders vs. the Bulldogs, the Stallions and the Bees. At least now things can slow down a lot. Haku hits a HIGH dropkick on Powers as Jesse talks about his great great grandfather coming over on the Mayflower.

Valentine comes in and does Arn Anderson’s jump in the air and get crotched spot. Anvil (Neidhart for you schmucks out there) comes in and hot shots Powers followed by a superkick from Haku. Off to Valentine who has his suplex countered but still blocks the tag by bringing in Hitman. Bret suplexes Powers but Roma is still able to get the tag somehow. Back to Valentine who comes off the middle rope with a shot to the back for two.

In something you rarely see, Bret whips Roma into the ropes and knocks Valentine off the apron. Bret misses a dropkick and there’s the tag to Dynamite. A belly to back gets two for the Kid and it’s off to Roma which is a pretty questionable move given the beating he’s taken. Off to Haku vs. Blair as Roma was only in for a few seconds. Davey comes in and it’s power vs. power. Make that power vs. Powers but Jim misses a corner charge and Haku tags Anvil.

Powers dives away from Bret and it’s time for Davey Boy vs. Bret in a Summerslam 92 preview. Davey uses a perfect gorilla press on Hart and hits the powerslam for two on Haku. Dynamite tries a middle rope headbutt (notice all the similarities between Dynamite and Benoit. Benoit basically cloned himself after Dynamite) on Haku but knocks himself silly, allowing Haku to superkick him for the elimination.

It’s 3-2 now and Roma immediately charges in with a dropkick for two. Off to Bravo who misses an elbow and it’s off to Powers. Why won’t they tag the Bees already? Valentine Hammers away on Powers as do both Harts. Valentine comes in for a second before handing it off to Bravo again. Dino hits his side suplex but tags off to Valentine for the Figure Four, which is countered by a kick to the back. Off to Roma who sunset flips Valentine off the top to make it 2-2 (Stallions/Bees vs. Islanders/Harts).

The Bees double team Anvil in a match that by their own words probably happened 300 times over the years. Brunzell hits a high knee to the face for two and it’s off to Bret who does about as well. Tama comes in and takes out Roma and it’s off to Haku. Haku misses a legdrop and it’s back to Brunzell. Brunzell hiptosses him into the heel corner for some reason and Bret comes back in. Roma gets two off a middle rope fist but Hart comes right back with a belly to back suplex.

The Islanders hit a double headbutt and this referee counts SLOW. Haku pounds on Roma and hits a dropkick which is rather impressive for a guy his size. It’s not quite as impressive as Anvil doing a dropkick of his own (literally 2 seconds after Monsoon says he’d like to see Neidhart try one) though. Bret comes back in and Roma slides between Bret’s legs and tags in Brunzell.

Brunzell tries to slam Hart but Tama dropkicks Bret’s back. Brunzell rolls through and gets a fast pin to eliminate the Harts and get us down to 2-1. Tama hooks a nerve hold on Brunzell followed by a shoulderbreaker from Haku. That gets two so Haku puts on a nerve hold of his own. Now Tama puts on ANOTHER nerve hold. To be fair we’re over half an hour into this so the guys are likely getting tired.

Brunzell tries a sunset flip but there’s no strength in it at all and he only gets two. He FINALLY gets a tag off to Powers who tags in Roma for a powerslam for two. Things start to break down a bit and the Bees being in the ring allow the Islanders to double team Roma a bit. Roma escapes enough to tag Blair but Tama kicks him before Blair can even get in. Tama misses an elbow and it’s off to Brunzell again for some reason. He can barely get Tama over for a backdrop but the signature dropkick gets two. Everything breaks down and Blair puts on his mask (it was a thing the Bees did to cheat) and sunset flips Tama for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match just kept going on and on and it was kind of exhausting to sit through. It runs nearly forty minutes and by the end there were no combinations we hadn’t seen already. You could easily cut out fifteen minutes of this match and it would have improved greatly. If you like tag wrestling, find a copy of this NOW but otherwise be ready to fast forward a lot. It’s not a bad match or anything but man alive is it long.

We get a clip of Ted Dibiase in his limo, bragging about how he’s going to spend Thanksgiving planning his next move. It takes money to survive, not toughness. We get some highlights of DiBiase humiliating some fans for money, including making a woman get on all four’s and bark like a dog. One of the fans shown here would one day become WWE Champion and is more famously known as Rob Van Dam. We also see DiBiase buying out a pool for the day so he can use it for himself. Alberto Del Rio wishes he could do this a quarter as well as DiBiase can.

Here’s Honky Tonk who now has Cool Cocky Bad. Odd. He says he wasn’t beaten and everyone saw it. He’ll take a challenge from anyone, and that includes Hogan. We’re clearly on intermission here.

Team Andre the Giant vs. Team Hulk Hogan

Andre the Giant, King Kong Bundy, One Man Gang, Butch Reed, Rick Rude

Hulk Hogan, Bam Bam Bigelow, Don Muraco, Ken Patera, Paul Orndorff

After Andre’s team comes out, we go to the back for a great late 80s Hogan insane promo. He talks about how hungry all of his team is and apparently he trusts Orndorff again. Muraco is subbing for an injured Billy Graham who would never wrestle again if I remember correctly. To say the place erupts for Hogan is an understatement. Muraco and Rude get things going here. Again there aren’t many feuds going on here other than Hogan vs. Andre. Rude and Orndorff are feuding but other than that I don’t think there were any established programs already.

Rude gets knocked into the corner and quintuple teamed before it’s off to Orndorff for the tag. Paul knocks him around a bit and here’s Hogan to blow the roof off the place again. He drops a bunch of elbows on Rude and here’s Bigelow with a splash for no cover. Bigelow gorilla presses Rude and here’s Patera who never got back to where he was before his jail stint.

Off to Reed who has about as much luck as Rude had earlier. Muraco comes in and dropkicks Reed down as does Orndorff. Paul beats on him for a bit and it’s a double clothesline from Hogan and Orndorff, leading to the big leg and a 5-4 lead for Hogan and company. Andre comes in while Hogan is celebrating, but Joey Marella (Gorilla’s adopted son) says a high five to Patera counted as a tag so the teasing of the crowd continues.

Andre, the Frenchman that he is, thinks Patera is beneath him and tags out to Bundy. Patera clotheslines Bundy down but King tags in Gang to beat on Orndorff. Paul is all like BRING IT ON and punches Gang in the head, only to charge into a knee in the corner to bring him right back down. Off to Rude who gets his own head taken off by a clothesline. It’s been ALL Hulk N Pals so far.

Rude pokes Muraco in the eye and it’s off to Gang, but OMG misses a splash in the corner. Patera gets in and pounds away on Gang even more with right hands and a knee in the corner. Gang goes to the eyes which of course makes Jesse happy. Patera tries to fight back but they clothesline each other and Gang falls on top of him for the pin, making it 4-4. Hogan comes in immediately to take over but quickly brings in Bam Bam for a double big boot.

Bigelow is probably the second most popular guy in the company at this point or third at worst behind only Hogan and Savage. They hit head to head and it’s a double tag to Rude and Orndorff. Paul goes nuts on him but as he loads up the piledriver, Bundy jumps him from behind, giving Rude a quick rollup pin. That would be it for Orndorff in the WWF, at least in major spots.

Bigelow comes in and suplexes Rude down before tagging out to Hogan for a high knee (!). A powerslam from Muraco to take Rude out and it’s Gang, Bundy and Andre vs. Bigelow, Hogan and Muraco. Muraco goes after Bundy’s leg which is pretty good strategy. Granted it doesn’t work but at least it was a good idea. Gang comes in and Muraco can’t slam him because he’s really fat. The splash eliminates Muraco and it’s 3-2.

Gang vs. Bigelow now with Bigelow trying a sunset flip, only to get crushed by the power of fat. Bundy clotheslines Bigelow inside out and Jesse says Hogan is going to run if Bigelow gets eliminated. Gorilla RUNS to Hogan’s defense and Jesse freaks. Gang and Bigelow collide and Hogan looks like he’s about to cry. Andre finally comes in and Bigelow looks TINY compared to him.

Bigelow slides between Andre’s legs and FINALLY it’s Hogan vs. Andre. Hogan pounds away and blocks a headbutt and Andre is in trouble. Hogan decks Bundy and Gang before elbowing Andre in the head. Bundy pulls Hogan to the floor and Hulk has to beat up both of the other monsters. He slams both guys, but he’s outside too long and Hogan is counted out. Hogan, the great sportsman that he is, gets back in anyway and is STUNNED, yes STUNNED I SAY about getting counted out. It takes the referees saying that if Hogan doesn’t leave, his whole team is disqualified.

So it’s Bigelow vs. Andre, Bundy and Gang. Bigelow starts with Bundy and clotheslines him down for two. A shoulder block puts Bundy down again and a headbutt gets two. A dropkick staggers Bundy and the King misses a splash. Bigelow hits his slingshot splash to eliminate Bundy and make it 2-1.

Gang comes in immediately and starts pounding away, hooking something like a front facelock. Bigelow gets rammed into Andre’s boot and Gang goes up. Oh this can’t end well. Gang misses a “splash” and Bigelow pins him to get us down to one on one. Let the pain begin. Andre pounds him down, avoids a charge, fires off a bunch of shoulders to the back, and a kind of single arm butterfly suplex gets the final pin for Andre.

Rating: B-. For a main event, this was perfectly fine. More than anything else, it continues Hogan vs. Andre. They had their first match about eight months ago and something like this needed to happen to extend the feud. That’s the reason for the amount of PPVs going up: you need another place to have major feuds. Andre has now won something in direct competition over Hogan and there’s a reason for a rematch. Maybe on February 5^th live on NBC?

Hogan IMMEDIATELY runs out and decks Andre with the belt. Hogan clears the ring and says bring it on, but Heenan motions that Hogan has to sign a contract first. Jesse freaks out as Hogan poses. This is a total jerk move by Hulk as he lost completely fairly and is out here because he can’t accept it. I was a Hulkamaniac as a kid, but Hogan was a horrible sport a lot of the time.

Heenan and Andre say they want Hogan and all Hulk has to do is sign on the dotted line.

Overall Rating: B+. This is a pretty excellent show and a GREAT first entry in the series. However I would certainly suggest going with the home video version instead of the full version as it clips some of the repetitive stuff from the tag match which helps it a lot. It also cuts some promos like the DiBiase thing and makes the show a lot easier to sit through. Still though, good show here and well worth seeing.

In something that I’ll be doing with all of these redos, here are the original ratings and the new ratings. I haven’t looked at these until the end of the redo. In order of airing (just captains listed for the sake of less typing):

Ratings Comparison

Team Randy Savage vs. Team Honky Tonk Man

Original: B+

Redo: B

Team Sherri Martel vs. Team Fabulous Moolah

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Original: B

Redo: C-

Team Hogan vs. Team Andre the Giant

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Apparently I liked most of the matches less and the show a bit less overall but still good marks all around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/06/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-1987-it-all-begins-in-ohio/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NPPH0WI

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Hell in a Cell 2014
Date: October 26, 2014
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event this year as we have two matches inside the Cell for the sake of having two matches inside the Cell. First up, in what should be the main event, we have Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose in a well built feud that belongs in the Cell. On the other hand, we have Cena vs. Orton in a match that is in the Cell to fill in a spot on the card. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Bo Dallas vs. Mark Henry

This is a bonus match and seems to have replaced MizdowTV. Bo declares himself the new World’s Strongest Man after beating Henry four times in a row. He’s immune to Ebola (not said by name here) and is ashamed that this city shares his name. Therefore his last name is Bo Washington (the Washington Redskins are playing the Dallas Cowboys on Monday Night Football tomorrow night). Henry hammers away to start and almost throws Dallas out of his shirt. World’s Strongest Slam ends Bo in 34 seconds.

Bo says he wasn’t ready and that Henry cheated. Cheaters never win, so Bo is the winner in the record book of life and is 5-0 against Henry. Mark throws him into the barricade for good measure.

The opening video focuses on how violent the Cell can be. Most of the focus is on Orton vs. Cena, which hopefully doesn’t mean that’s the main event. Ambrose vs. Rollins gets its share of time too though.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro

This is 2/3 falls with Ziggler defending after they traded wins in the last week. Ziggler comes out first for some reason and Cole actually brings up the title being won for the first time in Rio de Janiero. Cesaro looks to have shaved the rest of his hair. We get some grappling to start with Cesaro taking him down to the mat and cranking on a chinlock. Off to a chinlock as Cesaro does some of the most obvious spot calling I’ve seen in years.

Back up and they trade rollups for two each until Ziggler gets caught in the Swing for two. Dolph kicks out but hangs on to Cesaro for a rollup and the pin at 3:43. Cesaro is furious and hammers away but misses a middle rope elbow. A STIFF right hand puts Ziggler down and we hit a kneeling reverse chinlock on the champion. Cesaro goes after the arm but still can’t tie things up. He sends Dolph to the apron for the superplex but Dolph his arm across the top rope to take over.

Dolph actually stays on the arm with a cobra clutch but Cesaro spins him around into a suplex attempt. Ziggler turns that into something like a Kimura until Cesaro drives him into the corner. The hold stays on as Cesaro climbs the ropes and throws Ziggler up for a superplex. That looked great but Cesaro can’t cover due to the arm. Ziggler is up at two and avoids a charge to send him arm first into the post, setting up the Fameasser for two. The running DDT is countered into Swiss Death for two but the Neutralizer is countered into a Stunner on the arm and the Zig Zag to retain the title at 12:24.

Rating: B-. Good match here, even though it makes me wonder why they bothered having Ziggler lose clean on Monday. Cesaro did his usual here: blow the fans’ minds with big moves and then lose anyway because I guess his victory was popping the crowd. I’m not sure where Ziggler goes after this but at least he had a good match here.

We recap the end of Raw where Rollins attacked Orton in a big surprise.

The Authority is in the back and Orton is looking for Rollins. Stephanie tells him to use his anger on Cena tonight but Orton wants to get his hands on Seth. HHH tries to calm things down again by saying Orton and Rollins are a lot alike. Randy leaves, but says if HHH doesn’t deal with Rollins, he will.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella

Loser is the winner’s servant for 30 days. They lock up to start with Brie sending Nikki into the corner but missing a charge. Nikki runs her over for two and a facebuster gets the same. The fans start chanting JBL because NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS STORY. Brie plants her face first for two before hitting a few dropkicks. A running knee to the face has Nikki in trouble but she misses a charge and falls out to the floor.

She comes up clutching her knee and heads back inside to take a missile dropkick for two. Nikki pops back up and hooks the Rack for two. Brie slaps on the YES Lock but Nikki gets her feet on the ropes. Nikki comes back with a hard forearm to the face and a second Rack for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. The worst part: the wrestling wasn’t all that bad. The problem with this is it’s one of the least interesting stories in years as I don’t even remember why they’re fighting. I get that it’s about Brie quitting but are we really supposed to care that a woman is dating John Cena (wait, does that relationship exist in WWE?) and had to wrestle some handicap matches against some heels. Also, if Nikki hates her sister so much, why would she want her around for thirty more days?

WWE2K15 ad.

The expert panel of Renee, Booker T., Heyman and Alex Riley talk about what we’ve seen so far.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust

The Dusts are defending. Stardust and Jimmy get things going with the twin getting slammed down. Jimmy comes back by missing a kick but gets two off a flip splash. Off to Goldust vs. Jey as the challengers take over, only to have Jimmy get sent knee first into the post. Goldust slaps on a chinlock and gets two off a powerslam. The release gordbuster drops Jimmy and we hit the chinlock again. Back up and Stardust’s bulldog is countered before Goldust is backdropped to the floor.

The hot tag brings in Jey to clean house as the Usos hit their big dives. Goldust takes the running Umaga Attack in the corner for two but Jey has to go after Stardust, allowing Goldust to get two of his own off a spinebuster. Jey superkicks him down for two more before the Usos hit stereo superplexes. There’s a Superfly Splash to Goldust but Stardust makes a save at two. A quick kick to the back of the knee sets up the Final Cut from Goldust to retain the titles at 10:25.

Rating: B-. Another good match but another case where I do not care about the story because we’ve seen these teams fight half a dozen times in six man tags over the last few weeks. The division is back to having two teams again and that makes some very dull periods. At least the wrestling is good but it’s only going to last so long.

Some singer cares about breast cancer. November can’t get here soon enough.

We recap Orton vs. Cena with a nice package on rivalries. They’re playing this up to be amongst the greatest rivalries ever but the amount of times they’ve fought hurts it a lot.

Randy Orton vs. John Cena

In the Cell and the winner gets a match with Lesnar at some point in the future. Before the match the camera picks up on a Cena vs. Orton sign then zooms out when we see that it’s complaining about how many times they’ve fought. Orton takes over to start and hammers away to send Cena out to the floor. John goes face first into the steel before they head back inside. Orton brings in a chair but Cena kicks it away for a breather.

That’s fine with Randy as he headbutts Cena down and gets in a few chair shots for two. Orton drives the chair into the ribs a few times before taking Cena outside to rub his face against the Cell again. A few more rams are good for two and we hit the chinlock. Cena fights up for his comeback but walks into a kick to the head and the powerslam. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop and now it’s Cena ramming him back first into the Cell.

John tries one too many times though and gets crotched against the post to change advantage again. They stay on the floor with Cena sending him back into the cage and pulling out a table. It’s set up in the corner but Orton gets in the first few blows to take over again. The RKO gets two and Cena being thrown through the table gets the same. Randy’s next weapon of choice is the stairs but Cena slams him onto the steel for two more. The AA is countered though and a low blow gets two for Randy.

The STF goes on but Orton makes the ropes. This is the Cell though so it means nothing, meaning Orton has to crawl under the ropes to escape. John picks up the steps and throws them as hard as he can through the ropes, only to hit the Cell by mistake. Back in and they trade finishers for two each, including the AA countered into the RKO. Even the fans knew to expect that spot. Another AA gets two but both guys are down. Randy brings in another table and crotches him on the top but a middle rope RKO is countered into a middle rope AA through the table for the pin at 25:50.

Rating: B. They went with the regular big match showdown here and that’s the best thing they could have done. These two are almost out of ideas and thankfully they had a good one here. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything but they know how to work the big match formula. Also thank goodness this was the first half main event instead of having it close the show.

Cena stares Heyman down.

Big Show and Henry are getting ready in the back.

US Title: Miz vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending. Apparently the MizdowTV did happen as the pre-shows are now all an hour long. There doesn’t seem to be much to it as Miz praised Mizdow and Sheamus might have Brogue Kicked a cameraman. Sheamus starts the match with a Brogue Kick attempt but Miz bails to the ropes. That’s fine with Sheamus as he grabs the ten forearms, complete with Mizdow grabbing the bottom rope and selling them as well.

They head outside with Miz taking out Mizdow by mistake but actually using the distraction to nail Sheamus and take over. Sheamus quickly fights back and hits the rolling fireman’s carry on the floor for two. He motions that it’s time for the face but Miz takes him down and gets two of his own off the low DDT. The fans chant for Mizdow as Miz counters White Noise into a failed Figure Four attempt. Sheamus scores with a powerslam and calls for the Brogue, only to have to go after Mizdow. Miz’s rollup doesn’t work but the Skull Crushing Finale gets two. Not that it matters as the Brogue Kick retains the title at 8:25.

Rating: C. Mizdow was the star of this match and I’m hoping they get to his face turn soon enough. Maybe they can have him get the title off Sheamus soon enough and make Miz jealous or something like that but it would be better than Sheamus beating them up every week. Match was nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw.

Post match Mizdow lays next to Miz so Sheamus has some fun with them by making Miz, and Sandow as a result, do the YMCA dance.

Brie has to load up Nikki’s bags in the car and is all evil about a smoothie. You can guess where the smoothie winds up.

We recap Rusev vs. Big Show. In short: America good, Russia bad, repeat for six to eight weeks and throw in Rusev kicking a US soldier.

Rusev vs. Big Show

Lana is in pink tonight. They slug it out to start with Rusev getting the better of it by going after the leg to put Show down. Rusev stays on the leg with the wide variety of leg stuff that you often see used on giants as this isn’t off to the hottest start in the world. A nice suplex drops Show again for two. The Accolade is countered into something like Charlie Haas’ Haas of Pain but Rusev is right next to the ropes.

Back up and Show hits a spear as Henry comes out. There’s the chokeslam to Rusev and he rolls outside, only to have Show call Henry off and throw Rusev back in. There’s the jumping superkick to Show and Henry, followed by two more to Show. The Accolade goes on and Show gives up at 8:04.

Rating: D. This was every big Rusev match we’ve seen so far but there’s only so much you can do with osmeone like Big Show. There’s no doubt in who is going to win these things and that’s the problem with someone like Rusev. He really needs to move up to someone more mobile now and Sheamus might be just the right option.

You know breast cancer? It’s still bad.

Ambrose goes on a rant about Seth Rollins as a Halloween costume resembling roadkill and oatmeal on a pogo stick. It didn’t make any more sense when he said it.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige

AJ is defending and Alicia Fox is in Paige’s corner. They trade knockdowns to start until Paige kicks her in the ribs to take over. AJ comes back with a rolling cradle for two and they head outside with AJ having to nail Fox. Back in and Paige takes over with some shots to the back and a double arm crank to kill some time. They get back up and Paige stays on her, including a fall away slam (complete with skipping) for two. Back outside with AJ sending her head first into the barricade, setting up the Black Widow to retain at 6:55.

Rating: D+. Not terrible here but again, I’m sick of seeing these two fight. They’ve had like five or six matches on PPV already and there’s just no need to have them go at it anymore. Much like the tag division, there’s such a lack of depth to this title and it’s really starting to show again.

The Cell is lowered and we recap Ambrose vs. Rollins. Seth turned on the Shield and joined the Authority, sending Dean on a quest for revenge. The Authority kept interfering so let’s lock them in a big box.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Dean is out first and throws a bunch of chairs and some bags in the ring before climbing the Cell. Rollins comes out but doesn’t want to go up so he sends the Stooges up instead. They go up and get the beating you would expect, only to have Rollins sneak up and destroy Ambrose with the Stooges’ help. There hasn’t been a bell yet. They slowly climb halfway down the side of the cage and we get the first major spot of the match as they ram each other into the Cell and fly through the announcers’ tables.

Both guys are put on stretchers as the match stops. Dean realizes what’s going on though and gets off his stretcher. He goes after Rollins and drags him into the Cell to officially start things off. Dean busts out some duct tape but blasts Seth over and over again with a chair instead of using it. He tries the screwdriver to Seth’s face but Rollins snaps his throat across the top to escape. Dean pops back up and dropkicks Rollins into the Cell to take over again. They get back inside so Dean can clothesline Seth out to the floor.

The suicide dive sends Seth into the Cell wall and Rollins is almost dead. Back in again and Dean piles up chairs but gets suplexed onto them instead. Dean gets right back up and puts Seth across a table at ringside for a middle rope elbow ala Cactus Jack. He rubs Seth’s face into the steel but Kane pops up with a fire extinguisher to blind Ambrose. Seth powerbombs Dean through a standing table against the Cell and they go back inside again.

The Curb Stomp gets two and Seth is frustrated. He goes outside for the briefcase but instead just destroys Dean with chair shots. Rollins puts him head first on the briefcase but Dean counters with Dirty Deeds, only to have Seth escape with a kick to the head. Dean comes back with a Rebound clothesline and a briefcase shot to the face for an even closer two.

Now it’s cinder block time with Dean loading up a Curb Stomp of his own but we’ve got Wyatts. Well at least Bray speaking in tongues and now a lantern in the ring. Smoke fills the ring and we have what looks like a ghost in the middle of it. Bray pops up and nails Ambrose as the lights go out again. Back up with Bray spider walking over to Ambrose and laying him out with a release Rock Bottom to give a shocked Rollins the pin at 13:48.

Rating: B+. It’s a good fight but the ending hurts it a bit. This is probably the best option they could have gone with as you don’t want Rollins losing but you also don’t want Dean to lose all of his heat. Ambrose vs. Wyatt should be good but I would have liked this feud to have a more definitive ending. Unfortunately that wasn’t really possible and this puts Bray back in the spotlight with a feud he could actually win.

Dean takes Sister Abigail to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The big matches delivered but man alive does the midcard need to be replenished. Most of the stuff in there just feels like we’ve seen it a million times before and it’s really hard to care again. They desperately need to figure out something other than “put the wrestlers in tag matches” or “just have them fight a few times before they fight again on PPV” because it’s killing the PPV matches. Still though, it’s an entertaining show and that’s all you can hope for with gimmick shows.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Zig Zag

Nikki Bella b. Brie Bella – Rack

Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Final Cut to Jimmy Uso

John Cena b. Randy Orton – Middle rope Attitude Adjustment

Sheamus b. Miz – Brogue Kick

Rusev b. Big Show – Accolade
AJ Lee b. Paige – Black Widow

Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Pin after a Rock Bottom from Bray Wyatt

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: June 3, 1999
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

Thing shave to be getting better soon. I mean, I don’t think it’s possible for them to continue being this bad. WCW has been trying this idea of just throwing every boring idea they have out there to bury the good stuff and it’s bombing horribly. The lower card stuff is terribly uninteresting and the main event stuff is awful but there’s a little glimmer in there with all the talent they’ve got. If some of that got a better focus, there’s serious potential in there. Let’s get to it.

The announcers do their intro and the fans want Goldberg. You’ll have to wait until production wraps people.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scotty Riggs

Before we have the match, Riggs has the referee hold the mirror for him. Bigelow, mentioned as a Tag Team Champion but sans belt, hammers away in the corner. Riggs escapes a slam and dropkicks Bigelow into the corner for ten punches, followed by another dropkick and choking. The big man takes him down with a drop toehold of all things and headbutts the leg before going to a chinlock.

Riggs tries to fight back but gets dropped by a knee to the ribs. They head outside with Bam Bam working on the chest and sending Riggs into the barricade. Back in and Bigelow drops a headbutt for two but gets rolled up for the same. Bigelow takes Riggs’ head off with clotheslines but charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a Fameasser for another near fall. Riggs goes up and dives into a punch, setting up Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

Rating: C-. Shockingly competitive match here as a new champion had to rbeak a bit of a sweat to beat a narcissistic….Riggs is a heel right? He has a heel character but he was wrestling like a face here. The match wasn’t bad for an opener and it actually entertained me instead of making me look for a pillow and blanket.

We look back at Bigelow and Page winning the Tag Team Titles on Monday. Shouldn’t that have aired before the match?

Clip of Brian Knobs attacking Hak on Monday.

Hugh Morrus vs. Kidman

Morrus hammers away to start but gets caught by a headscissors. A hurricanrana and dropkick put Hugh outside and Kidman nails a nice plancha. Jimmy Hart tries to get in a cheap shot and is stared away in fear. Back in and Hart interferes again to let Morrus take over as the power game begins.

Morrus hammers away on him in the corner and gorilla presses him down for two. He sends Kidman into the corner for a running splash but misses another charge, allowing Kidman to hit a missle dropkick. Morrus comes right back by clotheslining Kidman out to the floor. Back in and Kidman avoids the top rope elbow, setting up a Bodog out of the corner for two. Morrus’ powerbomb is of course countered but Brian Knobs runs out to break up the Shooting Star for the DQ.

Rating: D. Much more basic match here as we’re now using Kidman to push the First Family. Again, we have an example of a guy that could have moved up the card being used to push more dead end older characters that aren’t going to go anywhere but for some reason keep getting the push over someone like Kidman.

Post match the First Family destroys Kidman until Hak makes the save….and beats Kidman down as well. That’s what you get for tearing the house down with Mysterio and Guerrera for months.

Brian Adams vs. Buff Bagwell

Adams, ever the gentleman, offers a handshake but gets posed at instead. Buff hammers away in the corner and they trade atomic drops with Adams’ having no effect for some reason. An armdrag and dropkick send Brian to the floor and us to a commercial. Back with Buff fighting out of a bearhug but walking into a belly to belly suplex. We break away from that to listen to some words of wisdom from Vince. A backbreaker gets two on Buff and Adams throws out him out to the floor. Vince gets in a few more shots because he can talk trash and forearm people in the back.

Back in and Buff avoids a knee drop to start his comeback with the usual stuff: clothesline, neckbreaker, cross body, strut. The referee gets bumped so Vince brings in a chair (he can do THREE things!) and accidentally hits Adams (I didn’t say he could do them well). The referee wakes up to count the pin but says it was two, even though he slapped the mat three times and Buff’s music played. We keep going with Adams nailing a big boot and sending Buff to the floor for a beating from Vince. Bagwell dispatches him pretty easily of course and the Blockbuster gets the pin.

Rating: D. Too long here and the ending made me say “great. We get to keep going.” Adams really isn’t all that good other than being a generic power guy and there are tons of them in WCW. The match went on longer than it should have and Bagwell really doesn’t look all that special from beating up Vince and Adams.

We see Savage vs. the fake Nash from Monday.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Recap of Scott Norton vs. Ernest Miller.

Scott Norton vs. Silver King

I don’t see this ending well. King tries to come in with a missile dropkick but it just bounces off of Norton’s chest. The pain begins with Norton just toying with King, blasting him with a hard clothesline and even harder chops in the corner. A pair of headbutts put him down again but Norton finally misses a charge. Silver King’s moonsault press has the same effect as the dropkick and it’s another clothesline followed by the powerbomb to complete the squash.

Rating: D+. See, this is the Scott Norton I could get behind. He was never going to be a big deal in WCW but you could make him look like a monster for someone to beat in a big win. Maybe throw him into the midcard title scene if those belts weren’t locked up by the Steiners for whatever reason.

Recap of rap vs. country.

Curt Hennig vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

If Hennig tries this could be awesome. He jumps Mysterio during his entrance and sends him face first into the buckle. Rey comes back by sending Hennig head first into the mat and nails a quick springboard legdrop to send Curt outside. Back in and Curt snaps Rey throat first across the top rope and hits a quick atomic drop to seen Mysterio throat first into the buckle. They head right back outside with Mysterio being thrown into the barricade and dropped throat first onto the barricade as we take a break.

After we look at ads for WCW Magazine, we come back with Mysterio headscissoring Hennig down and going after his knee. He dropkicks it down and hammers away in the corner until Curt rakes the eyes. Hennig drops some elbows to the chest and face, followed by the Hennig Neck Snap for two.

We even get a Rick Rude hip swivel as a nice tribute before Curt scores with a dropkick. Back up and Rey goes to the knee again, setting up a split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. Curt counters a standing Lionsault but gets sent chest first into the buckle. It’s right back to the knee to set up a springboard seated senton for two, followed by a low dropkick to the face. There’s the Bronco Buster but Bobby Duncum comes out and breaks it up for the DQ. So Konnan will stop cowboys from beating up his friends but not hardcore freaks?

Rating: C+. Yeah it was good but of course it had to end in a DQ because Heaven forbid we get a pin in anything but a squash. Mysterio looked good out there and the knee work was a nice running idea throughout the match. These two getting PPV time and a finish could be great stuff.

The cowboys double team Mysterio until Kidman and Konnan make the save.

We see the septic tank stuff with Nash and Savage from Nitro.

Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair

Think this is going to be better? Asya is the only second in the entire match. Ric takes him into the corner to start and they trade some chops until the referee breaks it up. It’s Benoit taking over with more shots in the corner to send Flair out the floor and up the aisle. Back in and Benoit takes him to the mat and puts on a Figure Four to check off a spot on the Flair Bingo card. Ric realizes he’s about six inches from the ropes and the hold is broken.

Flair begs off but gets beaten up in the corner even more. Naitch finally goes to the eyes to get a breather and stomps away on the ropes. Asya plays old school JJ Dillon by getting in some shots but unfortunately doesn’t take off her shoe. Benoit comes back with a bunch of right hands in the corner and a backdrop to put him down again. The veteran begs off and trips Chris up for a rollup with feet on the ropes in the corner for two.

They fight outside for some Canadian chops before Benoit takes him back inside for a snap suplex. Both guys ram heads to put each other down. It’s Benoit up first with a sleeper until Ric counters, only to be sent face first into the buckle again. Chris gets two off an O’Connor Roll and fires off even more chops.

Flair kicks him in the face and tries the Figure Four but gets rolled up for another two. Ric gets in a knee crusher though and now the Figure Four goes on. The hold is turned over and Benoit makes the ropes before nailing an enziguri to put both guys down again. Back up and Benoit nails his running clothesline but Bigelow and Page break up the Swan Dive for the DQ.

Rating: B-. The intensity here alone makes it a better match but it’s not quite a great match. Benoit looked more than capable of hanging in a main event match and should be ready to move up the card. It’s a good match but we’re reaching the point where you know someone is going to run in and that’s ruining a lot of entertaining matches.

Benoit takes an elevated Diamond Cutter and isn’t saved to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The main event brings this up a lot and it’s certainly one of the better ones, but the DQ’s need to stop. They keep doing the same thing over and over to protect people for the big matches, but then the same thing happens in the big pay per view matches. At least it was better than some of the more recent shows, even though it still wasn’t anything great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is the big dog himself: Roman Reigns.

This is about Reigns so no full Shield matches.

Reigns started as Roman Leakee in FCW in late 2010. We’ll pick things up at some point in June 2011 on FCW TV.

Big E. Langston/Calvin Raines/Alexander Rusev vs. Bo Rotundo/Leakee/Richie Steamboat

Raines is a big guy and Langston’s FCW Tag Team Championship partner. FCW Champion Rotundo is now known as Bo Dallas and Leakee is Roman Reigns. Rusev and Richie get things going with Steamboat going after Alexander’s huge calves. Rusev easily throws him away and scores with a shoulder but it’s quickly off to Bo and then Leakee (pronounced Lay Ah Key) to stay on the arm. Alexander easily runs over Leakee before it’s off to Langston for more power offense as we take a break.

Back with Raines running over Leakee for two and putting on something resembling a seated full nelson. Leakee comes back with a sunset flip before running over for the tag to Steamboat. Richie cleans house for a bit until Rusev slams him off the top with ease. Back to Langston who stomps away and hits a spinning belly to belly for two. Rusev comes in again for a bearhug and an overhead belly to belly.

A double tag brings in Raines vs. Steamboat and Ricky is caught in an abdominal stretch. Back to Langston who isn’t hurt by Steamboat chops but a kick to the face has some more effect. The hot tag brings in Bo to clean house as everything breaks down. Bo and Langston are left alone in the ring and a spear is enough to pin Big E.

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I expected to. They followed the six man formula very well here and the whole thing worked quite well. These guys knew how to work together and everything flowed well. That being said, I need to pick better matches the next time I do one of these things. Langston is now 0-3.

Another FCW match that might headline Wrestlemania someday. From January 12, 2012.

Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns is known as Leakee here but that looks better as a title. The winner gets a title shot next week. Ambrose stops to look at William Regal, who he’s been having a long feud with at this point. We’ll get there eventually. Leakee pulls Dean down as Regal talks about how glad he is that his children don’t have evil in their eyes. Rollins gets double teamed but Leakee slams both of their faces into the mat to take over.

Now it’s Leakee getting double teamed as we take a break. Back with Leakee still being double teamed as Regal talks about how great it is for he and Ambrose to be evil but he’s trying to control his hatred. Ambrose rolls Rollins up for two before getting sent to the floor. Leakee knocks Rollins out of the air for two but Ambrose takes Leakee down into the Regal Stretch as part of an obsession with getting a rematch.

Leakee makes the ropes but Rollins springboards in with a clothesline to Dean. The low superkick sends Leakee to the floor but Dean counters another attempt into a wheelbarrow slam for two. Ambrose misses a knee trembler (Regal’s finisher) and Rollins hammers away, only to miss the curb stomp.

Instead he dives through the ropes to take out Leakee before heading back inside to slug it out with Dean. Regal admits that he knows Ambrose will be the end of him as Ambrose turns Rollins inside out with a clothesline. Leakee comes in and Samoan drops both guys at the same time before Checkmate (a running bulldog, a terrible finisher for him) ends Ambrose for the pin.

Rating: C+. All this really did was make me want to watch Ambrose vs. Regal in a match that tears the house down and shows more emotion than anything WWE has done in years because they’re both old school workers like that. The match itself was your usual triple threat. Leakee changing finishers was the best idea he could have had.

Off to NXT now, starting on October 31, 2012.

Roman Reigns vs. CJ Parker

Reigns used to be Leakee in FCW. He’s a member of the Anoa’i family and is the son of Sika and the brother of Rosey. The announcers pound in the fact that Reigns has the IT factor and that we’ll be talking about this debut for years to come. Reigns catches Parker’s crossbody and pounds on the arm and shoulder. A DDT on the arm puts Parker down and Reigns cranks away on it some more. Parker fires away some elbows to escape but a side kick misses and Reigns slugs him down again.

A belly to back suplex by Reigns is countered into a cross body by Parker for two. Parker hits some knees in the corner but gets caught by a flying forearm. Reigns kind of roars and hits a belly to back slam for the pin at 3:43. Think Cena’s Protoplex (the spinning slam he sets up the Shuffle with) but instead of spinning the other guy around, Reigns drives the down with his hand.

Rating: D+. The commentary is over the top but Reigns looked fine here. He’s got a good look and a good physique and his in ring abilities were fine. The match was just a squash though with Parker getting in a few shots here and there. Much like everyone else, it’s too early to say what Reigns has without giving him a more serious challenge.

Reigns would join forces with Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins to form the Shield. He and Rollins formed a regular tag team and had a Tag Team Title shot at Extreme Rules 2013.

Tag Titles: Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins vs. HELL NO

This is Texas Tornado rules, meaning all four men are in the ring at the same time. The fact that there were some deaths a few days ago due to tornadoes in Texas makes this bad timing for this gimmick. Kane and Bryan are defending. It’s a big brawl to start as you would expect with the champions taking over. Bryan puts Rollins in the surfboard and Kane adds in a low dropkick for two.

Kane gets double teamed down in the corner and then Bryan gets the same treatment. Reigns loads up a powerbomb off the middle rope but Bryan counters into a rana to put everyone down. Kane grabs both Shield members by the throat before shoving them to the floor, allowing Bryan to hit the suicide dive to take both guys out. The champions take turn hitting clotheslines on both guys in the corners before Kane hits the top rope clothesline on Rollins, allowing Bryan to hit the Flying Goat for two.

Bryan gets the NO Lock on Reigns but Rollins finally makes the save. A chokeslam puts Rollins down but Roman catches Kane with the spear. Back up and Reigns shoves Kane into Bryan, only to get caught around the throat. Seth comes in off the top with a knee to Kane’s head, allowing Reigns to hit a second spear. Bryan makes the save but can’t get the NO Lock on Reigns. Rollins makes the save so Reigns can put Bryan in a torture rack. Seth comes off the top with a knee to the chest, good for the pin and the titles at 7:24.

Rating: C+. Again this was ok but nothing great. They could have used another five to ten minutes here but for some reason they’re flying through these matches tonight. Shield winning was the only logical conclusion as there was nothing left for Bryan/Kane to do with the belts at this point. Decent but not great here.

To Smackdown on May 31, 2013.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

This starts immediately after the previous match ends. Bryan sends Reigns into the corner and kicks away at the arm to take over early before tying his legs into Roman’s and dropping forearms to the face. The fans also love Bryan which isn’t all that surprising. He fires off more kicks in the corner before hooking a dragon screw leg whip to put Roman down again. Roman hits a hard clothesline to take over as we take a break.

Back with Bryan trying to speed things up but getting caught by another clothesline for two. Bryan gets all fired up and hits a hard set of kicks to the chest followed by a running dropkick in the corner for two of his own. Reigns drills him in the stomach to slow Bryan down but Bryan hooks the NO Lock out of nowhere. Reigns crawls over to the ropes but only gets there with Seth pushing the rope towards him. Kane goes after Rollins but hits Reigns for the DQ at 9:20.

Rating: C. This was a better match than the opener, but that’s likely because the smaller guy as the face is an easier formula to work with. Bryan’s kicks get more awesome every week and it’s very wise of him to use those as his main strike. I mean, can you imagine him throwing a convincing punch given his size? Kicks are far better for a guy like him.

One of the team’s biggest feuds was against the Rhodes Brothers, culminating on Raw, October 14, 2013.

Tag Titles: Shield vs. Goldust/Cody Rhodes

No DQ here. The challengers take over to start and work over Rollins with Cody getting two off a dropkick. Reigns interferes with an elbow to Cody’s jaw and the champions take over. Roman stomps Cody down to the floor for two before bringing Rollins back in for some right hands to the head. We hit the armbar for a few moments before Cody comes back with an attempted Alabama Slam out of the corner. Rollins slides down the back but Cody dives into a tag off to Goldust.

Goldie can’t hit Shattered Dreams but settles for a bulldog out of the corner for two on Rollins. Seth ducks something like a cross body to send Goldust to the floor and us to a break. Back with Rollins cranking on the arm even more as Cody plays cheerleader on the apron. A backslide gets two for Goldust but Seth clotheslines him back down. Back to Reigns for a chinlock but Goldust fights up and comes out of the corner with a back elbow. Rollins breaks up the hot tag but dives into a powerslam to put both guys down.

Ambrose’s interference doesn’t stop Cody and the younger brother cleans house. Reigns is sent into the post but Cody only gets two. The moonsault press gets the same and a Disaster Kick knocks Dean out to the floor. A springboard missile dropkick puts Rollins down again but Reigns makes the save. Ambrose comes in to break up Cross Rhodes and the numbers catch up with the challengers.

They load up the TripleBomb but Goldust comes in with a chair for the save. He can’t keep Reigns down though and Roman gets the chair. A big chair shot misses and Goldust scores with a cross body, crushing the chair against Reigns’ chest. Cody tries a Disaster Kick off the steps but gets caught in a running powerbomb against the barricade. Goldust hits atomic drops on the tag champions and a Cactus Clothesline puts Goldust and Reigns on the floor but here’s Ambrose to jump the painted one.

The fans correctly say that this is awesome right before Reigns DESTROYS Goldust with a spear through the barricade. That looked AWESOME. Dean throws Cody and Reigns back into the ring but here’s Big Show through the crowd. Shield grabs chairs but Show cleans house anyway until only Reigns is left standing. Cody kicks Roman into the KO punch and Cody gets the pin and the titles at 19:15.

Rating: A-. Well that helped. This felt like Mankind beating the Rock for the title back in January of 1999 which is about as high of a compliment as I can give a match. This is the kind of moment that this story has been dying for since it started and just like the match at Battleground, it was built up through emotion and it worked like a charm. Great match.

Here’s where Reigns started rolling, at Survivor Series 2013.

Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield

Elimination rules of course. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that? Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the Shield’s debut anniversary. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.

Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event or the fourth Survivor Series match ever).

Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.

Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.

Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.

Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.

It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.

Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the pin at 23:30.

Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns here as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. From the beginning I’ve said Reigns was the star of the team and if this isn’t proof of that, I’m not sure what is.

We’ll keep that going on Raw, January 6, 2014.

Roman Reigns vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start with Punk taking him down into a headlock. The Outlaws are sticking around at ringside. Reigns comes back with a shoulder block and we take a break. Back with Reigns knocking Punk off the apron and into the barricade. Reigns brings him back inside for some shots to the head and a body vice. A headbutt puts Reigns down again but he comes back with a cross body, only to hurt his ribs even more.

We hit the bearhug from Roman before he shifts it around to a body vice. Punk tries to escape but Reigns suplexes him down, only to miss the Superman Punch and get kicked in the head. More kicks have Reigns in trouble and Punk drops him with some ax handles and a neckbreaker for two. The running knee in the corner gets two more but Reigns breaks up the Macho Elbow.

Punk breaks up a superplex attempt and drops the elbow (to Ambrose according to Cole) for no cover. The Outlaws and Shield get into it on the floor and Punk dives out to take care of Rollins, only to dive into the Superman Punch for two. The spear hits the middle buckle and Punk gets a VERY close two off a rollup. Punk snaps off a high kick for two more but Reigns escapes the GTS. Another Ambrose distraction lets Reigns spear Punk in half for the pin at 16:14.

Rating: B. This took time to get going but the near falls at the end were all great stuff. They’re pushing Reigns to the moon and it continues to show how annoying these start and stop pushes can be. Look what happens when you push guys like Reigns and Langston to the moon without having them trade wins against midcarders for a change. It’s like people get behind monsters who clean house or something.

Even more on Raw, February 17, 2014.

Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns

The fans are behind Reigns as he hammers away on Mark to get us going. Henry blocks an Irish whip so Reigns casually picks him up in a Samoan drop for two. Reigns kicks him out of the corner and hits the Superman Punch followed by the spear for the pin at 2:45. Basically a squash.

We’ll jump ahead to Raw on June 16, 2014 with Reigns trying to get into the Money in the Bank match for the World Title.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

And now, the Money in the Bank match.

WWE Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Cesaro

The title is vacant coming in. It’s a brawl to start with everyone going for a ladder or each other early on. Bray escape an AA attempt and dives at a ladder to crush Sheamus before he and Cesaro to clean house. Reigns and Orton fight while Sheamus and Kane do the same on opposite sides of the ring. Reigns and Sheamus pick up ladders to crush Kane and pin him underneath the smaller ladder. Del Rio stops Reigns from going up as Cesaro and Sheamus climb. All four start climbing two ladders but Kane breaks it up and cleans house.

Cena comes back in and charges into a chokeslam before Kane cleans out most of the ring. He sets up a ladder in the middle of the ring and tells Orton to go up just like he did with Rollins earlier. Reigns shoves Kane into the ladder for the save but gets jumped by Bray. Cena comes back in with a ProtoBomb to Wyatt, only to walk into Swiss Death. Cesaro and Sheamus slug it out on top of the ladder as Bray spider walks up and shoves the ladder over. The Europeans are left hanging in the air and eventually fall to reset things.

Orton is all ticked off after getting hit with the ladder so he pulls out more ladders. He bridges one between the announce table and apron so he can put Sheamus over the bridge for an Elevated DDT. Back in and Orton throws a ladder to the floor before setting up the big one in the middle. Everyone gets back in and we go into scramble mode with no one getting higher than the second or third rung.

The people all get steadily knocked to the floor until only Kane is left standing. He takes down the big ladder and goes over to fight with Sheamus instead of climbing. Sheamus comes back with the forearms to the chest and White Noise, followed by a Brogue Kick to Cena. Sheamus sets up the big ladder again but Kane makes a save. The Irishman goes up but Cesaro bridges a ladder into the tall one to climb faster for another save. Cena and Del Rio fight to the floor as Reigns lifts up the big ladder with Sheamus and Cesaro on top. The bridged ladder keeps them from falling and Cena pushes it back to level.

Everyone is back in again and Cena is slammed onto the bridged ladder by Wyatt. Kane pulls people off the ladder but gets speared by Roman. Orton sends Reigns into the big ladder and knocks it over though, leaving no standing ladder in the ring. Reigns comes back with Superman Punches all around and the apron boot to Del Rio. HHH is all ticked off and we’re down to Cena vs. Reigns. They slug it out and Cena tries the AA, only to get speared out of his shoes.

Reigns goes up but Orton makes a last second save. With blood on the top of his head from earlier, Orton goes up but Bray takes him down with Sister Abigail. Del Rio stops Bray (and kills the crowd) but Sheamus shoves the ladder over and kicks Del Rio’s head off. An RKO pulls Sheamus off the ladder but Reigns stops Randy’s attempt. Orton is busted open BAD so Reigns rips at the cut and headbutts him a few times. Kane is back in for yet another save though by chokeslamming Reigns off the ladder. Cena grabs Kane for an AA though and Orton gets one as well, allowing Cena to get the titles at 26:30.

Rating: B. They toned down the big spots in this which kept my stomach in better shape this time. These matches are fun but man alive can they be scary at times. Cena winning is going to annoy some people but he’s the most logical choice as Lesnar is waiting in the wings for whoever gets the belt here. Brock vs. Cena will be awesome and is the money match that people will pay to see.

Reigns got another title shot at Battleground 2014.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns vs. Kane

Cena is defending and has both belts again here. It’s a brawl to start and Orton is in blue instead of black. Randy sends Orton into the steps but Reigns fights off both Authority members. A double suplex drops Reigns and gives Orton two as Kane seems to play defense against Cena. The champion comes back in and Orton takes him down for two more as Kane guards against Reigns.

Kane breaks up an AA attempt on Orton as the early going continues. Reigns and Kane fight on the floor so Cena can start up his finishing sequence on Orton. The AA is blocked so Cena throws Orton to the floor before turning around to see Reigns. Kane and Orton break it up before anything happens and Kane gets two on Reigns to annoy Randy. They start to shove each other and a YES chant starts up.

Orton says it’s supposed to be Kane watching his back but Kane uppercuts him. Kane loads up a superplex but Cena and Reigns come in to make it a Tower of Doom. Now we get Cena vs. Reigns but Kane sits up to stop it again. They stop Kane to the floor but Orton sneaks in with a backbreaker to Roman. A double Elevated DDT puts down both heroes but Kane breaks up a pin.

Cena and Reigns send Kane to the floor before Cena grabs an STF. Reigns adds a half crab at the same time but Kane makes the save. An AA sends Kane back to the floor and Orton is put in the STF again. Reigns pulls Orton to the ropes and throws him over the announce table, FINALLY giving us the showdown. They slug it out and Reigns tries a clothesline but Cena goes the wrong way so it’s kind of an old Vader body attack. The STF is countered and Reigns hits a Samoan drop. The Superman Punch misses and Cena hits the ProtoBomb.

Reigns pops up and hits the Superman Punch followed by the spear but Kane makes the save (with Cena’s head up and watching Kane come in the entire way). Kane gets hammered down and Reigns hits the jumping kick to all three guys. Orton gets speared through the barricade and the fans think this is awesome. Back in and Reigns spears Kane down but Cena makes the save.

Cena throws Roman to the floor and hits the AA for two as Reigns makes the save. Reigns and Cena slug it out again and an AA gets two with Kane breaking it up. Both heroes get chokeslammed but Reigns kicks out at two. The tombstone is countered and another spear connects until Orton makes the save. The RKO puts Reigns down but Cena comes in with an AA to Orton before pinning Kane to keep the title at 18:15.

Rating: B. Good match but the ending never being in doubt hurt things a bit. Some of the near falls did have me thinking we might get a surprise but at the end of the day this was the best option they had. Cena keeps the title and now we’re heading to his showdown with Lesnar where Brock gets his win back next month.

Another Raw match on August 4, 2014.

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Last man standing. Reigns hammers away to start as the announcers talk about the Network even more. They head outside with Reigns being hammered up against the barricade and then sent into the steps for a five count. Reigns is sent into the post a few more times as the announcers continue to hammer the $9.99 joke into the ground to the point where I’m laughing at it.

We take an early break and come back with Reigns reversing Kane into a chair wedged into the corner. Some charges into the corner have Kane in even more trouble and Roman hammers away with right hands. There’s the apron boot but Kane blocks a spear. A table is brought in and Kane counters a Superman Punch into a quick chokeslam to put Reigns through the wood for nine.

Kane is frustrated and sets up a chair in the middle of the ring. The tombstone is countered and Reigns hits a DDT onto the chair. Reigns hits the Superman Punch but charges into another chokeslam. Reigns slips out again and nails a bad spear to keep Kane down for the ten count at 15:16.

Rating: C-. Well that happened. I have no idea why but it happened. This idea of throwing gimmick matches onto the card is a really bad idea. It wasn’t a very good last man standing match either as there was no way Kane was going to win. Reigns beating Kane is a good thing, but not in an unnecessary gimmick match.

Here’s Reigns’ biggest match to date at Summerslam 2014.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton is mad at Roman for costing him the chance to be #1 contender. Roman pops him in the jaw to start and follows up with a headbutt. Orton is sent to the floor and into the barricade but he reverses Reigns hard into the steps. Back in and Orton slams him head first onto the mat before stomping on Reigns’ hand. A big superplex gets two for Randy and we hit the chinlock.

Roman fights up into a chinlock of his own but Orton falls back to break it up. Reigns grabs it again and squeezes very hard, only to get caught in a side slam for two. Back up and Reigns nails a Samoan drop before winning a slugout. Some running clotheslines have Orton in trouble and there’s the apron kick. Reigns is reversed into the post and barricade for two though and the fight goes back outside.

Randy throws him over the announcers’ table but gets caught by a Stunner over the ropes. Orton fights out of a superplex attempt but Roman muscles him up into a top rope Samoan drop for two. There’s the Superman Punch but the spear is countered into a very fast powerslam for a near fall. The RKO is countered but Reigns dives into a second attempt, only to kick out at a VERY close two. I bought that as a finish for a second there. Orton misses the Punt and walks into the spear for the pin at 16:41.

Rating: C. The match was good but not really good if that makes sense. The fact that Reigns was the obvious winner didn’t help, but at least the match was good on the way to the ending. Reigns kicking out of the RKO is a big moment for him as his rise to the top of the company continues. This was by far his biggest win to date.

Time for a six man on Raw, September 1, 2014.

Chris Jericho/John Cena/Roman Reigns vs. Kane/Randy Orton/Seth Rollins

HHH and Stephanie are at ringside. Reigns and Orton get things going with Roman quickly winning a slugout. A big clothesline drops Randy but Reigns pulls Rollins into the ring instead. Seth bails outside and we take a break. Back with Reigns hitting a Samoan drop for two on Orton. Rollins comes in with a shot to Reigns’ head for two and we hit the chinlock. Off to Kane for a chinlock of his own as the fans are getting restless.

Back to Randy who stomps Reigns’ head for two and kicks him down to the mat. Reigns finally gets in a clothesline but the hot tag brings in Jericho to face Rollins. The Lionsault has Rollins in trouble and there are the Walls, only to have Orton make a save. There’s a Superman Punch for Randy but Kane comes in with a chokeslam. Cena AA’s Kane, only to take the springboard knee from Seth. Jericho rolls up Rollins for two but gets kicked in the head. A Codebreaker puts Rollins down and we take a break.

We come back to Jericho fighting out of a chinlock but Rollins sends him into the corner. Rollins hits a running forearm to put the Canadian down and goes up top. Jericho pops up though and dropkicks Seth out of the air in a nice counter. Kane breaks up a hot tag attempt and puts on a chinlock of his own.

Jericho fights to his feet but dives into an uppercut for two. Orton can’t superplex Chris and gets knocked off the top, setting up a high cross body for two. Kane breaks up yet another tag attempt but Jericho nails him with a forearm and makes the real hot tag to Cena (BIG reaction for that). John cleans house and hits an AA on Kane before tagging out to Reigns for the spear and the pin at 22:54.

Rating: C+. This was the standard long match to end a bad show. Cena not getting to come in until the very end was a nice idea and let him explode all at once. Kane taking the fall was pretty clear and there’s nothing wrong with that. This was nothing special though and felt like a house show main event more than anything else.

We’ll wrap it up two weeks later on Raw, September 15, 2014.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Don’t these two already have a match at Night of Champions? Seth speeds things up to start and snaps Roman’s throat across the top rope. A hard clothesline sends Rollins running to the floor but Roman catches him trying to come back in and sends him face first onto the concrete. Back in and another shot puts Rollins on the floor as Reigns is dominating. Rollins is thrown over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back with Reigns missing the Apron Kick and getting caught by a suicide dive into the barricade.

Reigns quickly fights back and nails him in the face before hitting the Apron Kick. The Superman Punch looks to set up the spear but Seth leapfrogs him and nails a low superkick for two. Back up and Seth tries what looks like a Pedigree off the top but gets countered into a slow motion backdrop, only to have Rollins catch him in an impressive running buckle bomb across the ring for two more. Reigns gets back up, ducks a charge and hits the spear for the pin at 11:23.

Rating: B-. The match was good but why in the world do you have this match in full with a clean ending before they have the same match six days later? That’s some very odd booking and a sign that they don’t have enough people to fill in a three hour show every week. This is even worse when you consider how many people they have on the roster but how few they put any effort into.

Roman Reigns is clearly going to be a top star and you can tell the company is treating him as something special: as of October 15, 2014, he hasn’t been pinned or submitted in a singles match since he debuted. In a company where everyone from Cena to Bryan can lose matches clean on TV at the drop of a hat, that’s the highest praise you can get. I see him as a future Batista and there’s nothing wrong with a run like that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is a guy you probably only know under one gimmick: John Nord.

Nord started in 1984 and we’ll pick things up in the AWA at Wrestlerock 1986.

Nord the Barbarian/King Kong Brody vs. Jimmy Snuka/Greg Gagne

A few notes here: Snuka is a mystery partner subbing for Jerry Blackwell (that’s for the better, trust me), this match originally went on second of the three cage matches, King Kong Brody is Bruiser Brody because of some legit complaint from Dick the Bruiser, and if Snuka/Gagne win, Verne gets 10 minutes in the cage with Sheik Adnan-Al Kaissie. This is announced as the main event, even though there could be more stuff after it. Oh and Nord the Barbarian is just called Barbarian and is more famous as the Berzerker.

Snuka gets zero fanfare at all. Gagne looks like a 1996 version of Chavo Guerrero. They have to tag here so the match is automatically dropped a few notches. Gagne starts with Brody. Greg gets in a few punches but Brody kicks him in the face, making Gagne look like he got shot. Off to Barbarian who gets punched back into his own corner. Off to Snuka for a death defying chinlock.

The match slows way down as Brody comes in and knocks Snuka down. Then they stand around. Then they stand around some more. Snuka does his leapfrogs but Brody knocks him right back down. Off to Gagne and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it makes the match way better. If nothing else he sells everything like death which is usually a cool thing to see.

Greg gets rammed into the cage to bust him open. Good piledriver by Brody gets two. Nelson turns into an annoying fanboy again but Gagne’s comeback is shortlived. He manages to send Nord into the cage and there’s the hot tag (with a pop) to Snuka. Off to Brody who is busted open. He yells a lot as Snuka hammers away on him.

Snuka gets in Superfly position but hits a headbutt instead. Nord interferes and Snuka is in trouble again. Everything breaks down and the heels get rammed into each other. Double dropkick puts Nord down and a double suplex does the same to Brody. Snuka rams into Gagne by mistake, but Snuka gets up and dropkicks Nord who trips over Gagne and gets pinned.

Rating: D. Oh boy did they screw this up. First of all, WHERE IS THE SUPERFLY SPLASH??? You bring in Jimmy Snuka and he doesn’t even hit the move he’s legendary for in the kind of match he’s legendary for hitting it in? Second, there was way too much heel control here. The idea is supposed to be faces control to start, Gagne opens, tag to Snuka for more dominance, back to Gagne, Gagne gets beaten down, hot tag, finish.

Instead it was faces control, heels control, faces comeback, faces screw up, faces steal a win. The problem is that it doesn’t allow the fans to build up momentum. This match had the pieces of a decent match, but they were all in the wrong order which is what made it hard to stay invested in. Also the lack of a splash hurt it a lot.

A few years later Nord would become Yukon John, a lumberjack as over the top as he would later be as the Berzerker. From the AWA, I believe in 1990.

Yukon Eric vs. The Menace

Generic masked guy. He bounces off the far bigger Eric and a big boot drops Menace again. A dropkick knocks him a third time and Yukon plants him with a powerslam. Eric howls a lot and drops a leg for the pin. Nord has an awesome look.

It was off to the WWF in early 1991 as the Berzerker, but first he was the Viking, with the exect same gimmick. Here’s his debut on Wrestling Challenge, February 16, 1991.

The Viking vs. David Eisley

Viking shoves him around and nails a big boot as this doesn’t look to last long. A dropkick does the same thing and Viking starts shouting HUSS a lot. Another big boot against the ropes drops Eisley again and a gordbuster knocks him silly. Viking lifts David up and throws him out to the floor like he’s nothing and it’s a countout.

Berzerker was in action at Survivor Series 1991.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

A lot of these guys are on their way out. Hercules would be in WCW by May, Tornado would job to the stars until leaving in July as would Mustafa (Iron Sheik), and the rest of the guys would do nothing of note for the rest of their time in the company. Kerry (Tornado) looks high as a kite and almost falls off the apron getting into the ring. This is pretty recently after Slaughter’s face turn as he was a heel at Summerslam. This isn’t exactly the most talent laden match ever and the only feud is Slaughter vs. Mustafa.

Tito and Skinner start with Santana taking over with a headlock. There’s the flying forearm out of nowhere and Skinner hits the floor without a cover. Off to Berzerker vs. Tornado which would work a lot better down in Dallas. Berzerker (a crazy viking who tried to stab Undertaker with a sword) misses a dropkick and it’s off to Mustafa. After some very brief offense, Kerry tumbles to his corner and brings in Duggan to face Hercules, which was in the first ever match at Survivor Series.

Duggan gets taken down by double and triple teaming and it’s off to Mustafa. He loads up his curled boots (it’s a Sheik thing) and does nothing with them. Thanks for wasting our time with that. Duggan pounds away and backdrops Mustafa down before the hot tag to Slaughter. The big showdown is an atomic drop and a clothesline to Mustafa for the elimination.

Berzerker comes in with some clotheslines and a kick to the fat gut of Slaughter. A boot to Slaughter’s face puts him down and it’s off to Hercules for some two counts. Back to the viking who gets crotched on the top rope and kicked in the legs. Off to Duggan who clotheslines Berzerker to the floor and backdrops him back there a few seconds later. Tornado comes in and pounds away on him before it’s off to Hercules again. Tito gets a blind tag and hits a forearm to the back of the head (El Paso Del Muerte) for the pin and the elimination.

Skinner, the guy that owned now former developmental program FCW, comes in as it’s 4-2. When you have Skinner and Berzerker as your only guys left, the team is in big trouble. A blind tag brings in Slaughter who rolls up Skinner for the elimination. Slaughter whips Berzerker into Duggan’s clothesline for the elimination and the win.

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

Here he is in MSG on December 29, 1991.

Berzerker vs. British Bulldog

This should be short and relatively bitter. Bulldog’s music is rather hard to hear here. Crisscross to start and Berzerker kicks him in the head. Bulldog is a favorite in the Rumble because he won some other battle royal in England. Gorilla said the cup he won was ugly. What a great ambassador Gorilla is.

You can tell the fans aren’t exactly caring here, even though if the chart I saw is correct, this was the opener. No Fuji with Berzerker here for some reason. Camel clutch by Berzerker has Bulldog in something resembling trouble. Gorilla and Heenan talk about people in the Rumble as they don’t care at all here. It’s a shame that they have something to talk about here as Gorilla and Jesse could be hilarious when they got bored. Powerslam is blocked and Berzerker falls on him for the pin.

Rating: N. As in nah that didn’t really happen. I’m just so bored here that I wanted to do something to break up the monotony. Bulldog gets the worst rollup ever about a second later for the real pin.

Rating: D-. Boring match with these two managing to botch a rollup of all things. That’s HARD to do. This went nowhere at all and nothing at all came of it. I get that Bulldog is supposed to be getting a push, but wouldn’t the powerslam be a better way to do that? We really needed to protect John Nord?

Here’s an upgrade in opponent on Superstars, January 18, 1992.

Undertaker vs. Berzerker

Mr. Fuji steals the urn to start and Berzerker nails him with the shield and sword (yeah he hit him with a sword) but misses a stab attempt. A clothesline puts Berzerker on the floor, right in front of Fuji. He drops the urn but Berzerker dives off the apron to put Undertaker down again. The mats are pulled back and Undertaker gets piledriven on the concrete but he sits up a few seconds later. We get the slow stalk up the aisle and the villains leave. I’m not sure if this was a match or not but again Berzerker looked AWESOME.

Here’s a power tag match on June 3, 1992.

Undertaker/Ultimate Warrior vs. Papa Shango/Berzerker

The good guys clean house to start until we get down to Undertaker vs. Berzerker in a tall slugout. This time it’s Undertaker getting the better of it but missing a charge in the corner and getting dropkicked out to the floor. The fight heads outside with Undertaker ramming him face first into the steps. Back in and it’s off to the Warrior but Shango hits him in the back with the voodoo stick.

The heels take over with some forearms to the back and actually make some nice tags to keep the fresh guy in. Warrior gets tied up in the ropes and stomps by Berzerker until he gets his arms free and backdrops the big man to the floor. The hot tag brings in Undertaker who chokeslams Berzerker for two. The flying clothesline drops Shango and everything breaks down with Warrior hitting a quick shoulder and splash to pin Berzerker.

Rating: D. Not much to this one but I’m still kind of astounded by how well Berzerker is moving out there. I liked Undertaker learning from getting beaten up by Berzerker before and adjusting in future matches. He’s always been a smart wrestler and that’s some good, basic psychology that so many wrestlers just miss. This was a standard house show match and was probably much better for the live crowd than someone watching elsewhere.

Another big tag match from Prime Time on July 21, 1992.

Ric Flair/Berzerker vs. Undertaker/Randy Savage

Savage is still WWF Champion here and starts with Flair. Ric takes him into the corner to start and WOOs in the champ’s face. Randy goes after the arm until he drops Flair a few times with a clothesline and shoulder. Off to Undertaker and Flair is already begging off into the corner. Chops and punches have the exact effects you would think they would on the dead man and he gorilla presses Flair down.

Berzerker finally comes in for the monster slugout and a big boot puts Undertaker on the floor. Back in and Undertaker slugs away before bringing Savage back in with a top rope ax handle. The heels take over on the champ with Flair putting on a chinlock. Berzerker puts him in the corner and kicks Savage into the post.

Randy gets beaten up on the floor even more until Undertaker comes over to scare them off. A slam onto the exposed concrete has Savage in even more trouble and Berzerker ties him up in the ropes. Randy kicks his way out though and makes the hot tag off to Undertaker. A quick tombstone plants the viking and Savage’s elbow is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. Much better match here with better workers to fill in the teams. Flair vs. Savage is one of the best feuds WWF had that people don’t remember enough about and this was another good, albeit short, performance from them. Fun match here that had more time to build and was better as a result.

Berzerker was in a dark match at Summerslam 1992.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

This is the final dark match and is held right before the main event but I’m putting it here for the sake of simplicity. Berzerker wants a test of strength to start and easily takes the smaller Tatanka down. The Native American comes back by easily shoving Berzerker to the floor before they slug it out back inside. They collide after a crisscross but Berzerker misses a dropkick, allowing Tatanka to fire away on the leg.

A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Tatanka before a regular slam puts him down outside the ring. Back in and Heenan makes Indian jokes as Berzerker kicks Tatanka in the ribs. A backdrop puts Berzerker on the floor before Tatanka starts his war dance back inside. The Papoose to Go is enough for the pin on the viking.

Rating: D. To give you an idea what this match was, think of nothing. Now take away any possible interest that nothing has and you’ll have this match. It was very dull and uninteresting and the fans clearly wanted to see the main event instead of more worthless wrestling. Tatanka would become a pretty big deal against Yokozuna in about a year.

Here’s another match on November 23, 1992.

Crush vs. Berzerker

We’re in Erie, Pennsylvania here and apparently this is going to be a classic. Gorilla and I need to have a chat about what it means to be a classic. Hayes likes Berzerker and thinks bCrush should have more of a mean streak. We get a test of strength and the power of Hawaii wins.

Apparently Mr. Fuji has left Berzerker. I’m sure it has nothing to do with that Yoko guy. He misses a big knee drop. Yeah he’s not inspired by Bruiser Brody AT ALL. Crush makes his comeback but manages to mess up an atomic drop. That’s hard to do. He was over as all goodness though so I can’t complain. Crush gets the Head Vice for the submission.

Rating: D+. Just a way to get Crush a win to keep him over which is fine. To say he was over is an understatement and this was just a way to get him over. This was short enough to not be that bad though, which helps a lot. Berzerker’s stock is starting to fall, even though it wasn’t very high in the first place.

Another match against a big name guy on January 2, 1993.

Berzerker vs. Mr. Perfect

Berzerker gets right in his face to start but gets chopped back. Perfect ducks a big boot and clothesline before a dropkick sends him out to the floor. Back in and Perfect misses a charge into the post but has to avoid a shot from the sword. A big boot puts Perfect down again but he backdrops Berzerker out to the floor. Cue Ric Flair for a distraction, though not a good enough one for Berzerker to get in any good shots. Flair leaves and the big guy is able to drop Perfect though and we take a break. Back with Berzerker getting two off a World’s Strongest Slam but he ducks his head and gets PerfectPlexed for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but the Flair interference stopped what they had going. The sword thing continues to be so over the top that it’s awesome, which is the best thing you can do for a character like Berzerker. I mean, he’s a viking with a sword and shield. How serious can you be with him?

We’ll jump way ahead now to a return run in WCW, starting on Nitro, January 5, 1998.

John Nord vs. Barbarian

You might remember Nord as the Berzerker from the early 90s. He’s part of a new wave of talent coming in apparently, which will also include a former WWF Tag Team Champion debuting later tonight. Nord is just a guy in white trunks and furry boots here. They clothesline each other and no one goes anywhere but another clothesline puts Barbarian on the floor. Nord, a big guy in his own right, hits a dive over the top to crush Barbarian but he stops to go after Jimmy Hart. Barbie rams him into the barricade but Nord sends him head first into the steps.

They whip each other into the barricade as this is way more energetic than you would expect it to be. Back in and Nord hits a Samoan drop for no cover followed by a series of elbow drops. Jimmy gets choked a bit but Barbarian hits a big boot to the jaw, sending Nord out to the floor. Back in and a pumphandle slam gets two for Barbarian before he chops Nord in the corner. Nord misses a charge into the corner and falls outside again, only to come back in with a middle rope elbow. A modified camel clutch by Nord (Nord was sitting almost on the mat while pulling back on the chin) is good for the submission.

Rating: C+. This was WAY better than I ever could have expected it to be as Nord looked pretty solid out there. Barbarian was his usual self but a bit more physical than he usually was, making for a pretty solid surprise here. I barely remember Nord at all around this time which is one of the fun parts of rewatching these shows. Good stuff here.

We’ll wrap it up with one more WCW match on Worldwide, July 4, 1998.

John Nord vs. Goldberg

A big boot immediately drops Goldberg but he pops up and clotheslines Nord to the floor. They head outside (the Worldwide set is interesting as the ring is surrounded by a platform, meaning the guys are just under the top rope when they’re standing otuside) with Goldberg slugging him around but getting punched a few times back inside. Not that they matter as the spear and Jackhammer are good for the pin. Goldberg would win the World Title two days later.

I was expecting a boring, mostly comedic set of matches here but Nord was actually awesome with some great flexibility and a look that made him even more intimidating. If you gave him a serious gimmick in the WWF, he could have been a big deal with all of his athletic gifts. This one was a very nice surprise.

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