This show has a strange build to it as we’ve seen almost everything there is to see for the setup but I don’t know if WWE can give us the payoff we need due to the lack of the violence. We always hear about the violence inside the Cell and how insane it’s supposed to be but there’s a good chance we’re not getting anything close to that. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start with what is likely going to be the main event and say Cena beats Orton. That’s unfortunate as Orton vs. Lesnar could headline a few PPVs in a row but it looks like we’re going to get another Cena vs. Lesnar match which really doesn’t have a huge audience. Orton is on the brink of a face turn too and face Orton with the RKO against Super Beast Brock would have me drooling. Instead though it’s probably going to be Cena and it’s probably going to headline the show because that’s what WWE seems to think we want to see.
Next up is the match that has had the build and should be the main event since Cena and Orton don’t need it, but instead will probably be the show stealer that people want to see close things out. I think Rollins beats Ambrose due to some shenanigans but the drama is going to be amazing. Ambrose could be a huge deal, but I don’t see him winning while holding the briefcase. Unfortunately Reigns is kind of holding the match hostage and there are so many possibilities with him in there. I just can’t see Ambrose winning, but I think Rollins takes the beating in a lifetime to get the win.
Nikki beats Brie due to interference of some sort. There’s just no logic in having Brie win, but it means I don’t have to listen to BRIE MODE twice in a row. Nikki wins and is all evil to Brie for a month, setting up yet another match that drags the show down. Somehow Brie is the best face the division has at this point, but I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about these two fighting.
Sheamus beats Miz to retain the title and we get Miz vs. a face Mizdow in the future. Damien has a future due to pure hard work. Imagine that.
Rusev beats Big Show, hopefully by TKO. These two had a match that was way better than it had any right to be recently so maybe they can do it again here.
AJ beats Paige in another match we don’t need to see again.
The Dusts retain in a match that feels like we’ve seen it a dozen times due to all the six man tags.
Ziggler retains over Cesaro, making the losses mean nothing whatsoever.
Overall the show has me interested but my expectations are low due to the violence not being allowed. That’s the problem with PG: they can talk the matches up as being the most violent things you’ll ever see but they can’t deliver due to the restrictions. There’s nothing wrong with the restrictions and you certainly can have a violent match in the Cell in this era, but I don’t know if the young guys can pull the pathos to make it work.
As for the other Cell match….I just do not care. I’ve seen these two fight about 40 times now and I do not want to see it again. I don’t care that it was in the Cell, I don’t care that it’s for the title shot and I don’t care that it’s likely going to headline the show. The interest isn’t there and it’s high time WWE figures that out. They’ve WAY overplayed this match and there’s almost nothing left for them to do anymore. When they’ve traded the title so many times before and talked so much about how big and epic their rivalry is, I just do not have enough interest in seeing these two fight.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – October 24, 2014: In Search Of A Gas Station
Smackdown Date: October 24, 2014
Location: Intrust Bank Arena, Wichita, Kansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the final show before Hell in a Cell and things are all set. The main story coming out of Raw is Seth Rollins finally attacking Randy Orton, his partner on Monday, by Curb Stomping him to end the show. This is likely going to help set up Orton’s face turn and then Orton vs. Rollins, which could be some very interesting stuff down the line. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Ambrose to open things up. Ambrose talks about defying the laws of physics because he keeps getting back up no matter what the Authority does to him. Yeah it hurts to get knocked down so many times, but the difference between someone like he and Mick Foley is that Foley is a nice guy. Dean doesn’t have anything to live for beside hurting the people that hurt him. He’s been waiting for this day since Rollins stabbed him in the back for business so if Rollins has any final words, come out here and say them now.
Rollins pops up on screen and says Dean can’t call him out. Seth is the one that does the calling out and he’ll be doing that later tonight. It was always Dean believing that something special was coming from the Shield but Seth was just using it to get ready for his big moment. On Sunday, Dean Ambrose goes away and Rollins can cash in his contract to become World Champion. Dean wraps it up by saying they’ll burn together on Sunday, but Seth will burn alone.
Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Los Matadores
Sheamus is on commentary. Damien hammers on Diego to start and it’s quickly off to Miz who gets chopped in the corner. Miz comes right back with ten forearms to the chest to annoy Sheamus but the champ is just bored. It’s back to Damien, but Fernando kicks him in the face to take over and make the tag to Diego. They head outside for a Figure Four on Diego as Miz puts one on Fernando for the submission at 2:56.
Bo Dallas interrupts the Dusts’ odd chat of the week. They’re in a six man later and Bo thinks they just need to Bolieve. Goldust: “What a weirdo.”
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Still non-title despite Fox pinning AJ on Monday. Fox takes her down to start but gets caught in a guillotine choke. Paige, in Fox’s corner, shouts instructions to get out of the hold and Fox takes over for the first time. Lee fights out of a chinlock but gets slammed down with ease. Paige gets on the apron but AJ slams them together, setting up a rollup for the pin at 2:04. So AJ now needs heel miscommunication to beat Alicia Fox?
Remember that Wyatt Family video where the Family is free but Bray is never free? Well it’s airing again here.
We get a sitdown interview from earlier in the week with Big Show to talk about what happened with the soldier on Monday. Show asked for the interview and we see a clip from the incident to get things going. Big Show talks about how personal some of the things Rusev say can get but Rusev attacked the soldier when the incident was over. He has a lot of friends who are Russians (seriously) and he’s had to apologize to them more than once.
Show has been lucky enough to go around the world and meet some wealthy people, but those aren’t his heroes. He gets to meet his heroes when he goes around the world and meets the servicemen and women who defend this country. A few years back he met a two star general who broke down when meeting Big Show because it was such a big deal.
Now we get a clip of Big Show’s “idol” (to be fair Show laughs this off) Hulk Hogan saying no one is more American than the Big Show. On Sunday, Show is going to feel the power of America and it’s going to carry him to victory. We close out the interview where Show says he can’t keep his emotions under control but he’ll knock Rusev out for a pin on Sunday. This was longer than it needed to be and I see no reason for it not to take place in the arena.
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro
Cesaro is challenging after pinning Dolph on Monday. Why the Divas didn’t do the same isn’t quite clear. They hit the mat to start with Ziggler actually in control but getting nailed in the ribs. Dolph flips out of a monkey flip attempt and gets two off a rollup. A nice pinfall reversal sequence ends with Ziggler nailing a dropkick for two but Cesaro sends him shoulder first into the post.
Back from a break with Cesaro putting on a sleeper but having to break up Ziggler’s sleeper a few seconds later. Dolph’s hurricanrana is countered so he comes back with a sunset flip for two instead. The running DDT is countered into a spin out slam for two as Cesaro is getting frustrated. A big boot and powerbomb get two more but the Swing is countered into a small package for two. Cesaro loads up an uppercut but gets Zig Zagged to retain the title at 11:25.
Rating: C+. Nice match but was there a need to have Dolph lose via pin on Monday? Couldn’t you accomplish the same thing by having them both get counted out or something like that, setting up a big match on Sunday? Heaven forbid of course because we need to give Cesaro another win over a champion to make him strong, even though you could do the same by having him Neutralize Ziggler on the floor and win by countout. That might be too much creativity though so it’s clear why it didn’t happen.
Nikki Bella/Cameron/Summer Rae vs. Brie Bella/Naomi/Natalya
Only Brie gets an entrance because we need BRIE MODE. Brie and Cameron get things going and Cameron actually manages to not botch anything in the first ten seconds. She elbows Brie down and starts a YES chant before it’s off to Summer for a clothesline. We get a totally genuine Brie chant as she kicks Summer down but Cameron takes Naomi off the apron. Nikki comes in for the Rack and the pin on Brie at 2:02. Well that happened.
Post match Nikki says for thirty days, she’ll be the evil sister and Brie can be the Cinderbella. This is what I sit through for you people. Remember that.
Hell in a Cell by the numbers.
Video on Orton vs. Cena.
Hogan picks Cena to win on Sunday.
Usos/Mark Henry vs. Goldust/Stardust/Bo Dallas
Dallas runs from Henry to start so it’s Stardust and Jey starting instead. A headbutt has Stardust in trouble so it’s off to Jimmy vs. Goldust. The Usos clothesline Goldust out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Stardust clotheslining Jimmy before it’s off to Goldist for some choking. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Jimmy fights up for an enziguri. The hot tag brings in Henry for clotheslines as everything breaks down. Jey dives onto Goldust and it’s Dallas alone with Mark. Henry throws him into the corner but has to World’s Strongest Slam Stardust, allowing Bo to hook the Bodog for the pin on Henry at 8:00.
Rating: D+. This was every six man tag with two different people to supplement the standard tag match that we’ve seen a half dozen times now. I don’t know what there is to gain by having Dallas pin Henry again as you would think we got the idea when he beat him twice in a row, but that might require a fresh thought from creative.
Ziggler is in the back bragging about his wins when Cesaro comes in and says Dolph got lucky. Cesaro calls the title the most prestigious in the company and asks for a 2/3 falls match for the title on Sunday.
Here are Rollins and the Stooges to the ring where there are some tables covered with weapons. Rollins says he bought in for the millionth time and says it’s foreign to everyone here in Kansas. There are no rules on Sunday so let’s have a preview of what Ambrose is in store for on Sunday. Seth starts with the handcuffs because Dean has surprised him from different places. Now he can have Ambrose in one place.
Next up is a screwdriver to prove that Dean has been a screwup all along. Seth picks up a lead pipe to prove that Dean is indeed destructable before moving on to a chair which stared the whole thing. We get to the point now as Rollins calls Dean out because this is his chance to have things one on one.
There’s no Ambrose though so maybe he’s smarter than Seth thought he was. We see a clip from the end of Raw as Ambrose sneaks up behind Seth and nails him with a kendo stick shot. The Stooges come in but Dean fights them off and tries a powerbomb through a table. The Stooges finally do their job and take Dirty Deeds before being elbowed through the tables to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was about everything other than the Orton vs. Cena match which makes me think that it’s getting the main event slot, despite it having no need to do so. The problem with Ambrose vs. Rollins is they have to go insane with the violence to justify everything they’ve talked about and I don’t think that’s going to be allowed. The show should be entertaining but I don’t know if they’ll be able to take it far enough or be able to resist going with Orton vs. Cena as the main event. Nice build show this week but it’s clear that these stories are almost out of gas.
Results
Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Los Matadores – Figure Four to Fernando
AJ Lee b. Alicia Fox – Rollup
Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Zig Zag
Nikki Bella/Summer Rae/Cameron b. Brie Bella/Naomi/Natalya – Rack to Brie
Goldust/Stardust/Bo Dallas b. Usos/Mark Henry – Bodog to Henry
NXT – October 23, 2014: My Kind Of Champion
NXT Date: October 23, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Jason Albert, Alex Riley, Rich Brennan
NXT continues to be the show gives me the most hope in wrestling as you can see the big stories building and they’re as well put together as anything else in wrestling today. You can see Zayn vs. Neville coming and you can hear the roar of the crowd for the near falls. There’s other good stuff coming too so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Ascension vs. Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger
Jordan takes Viktor down by the waist to start but gets chopped hard back into the corner. Off to Konnor for a double shoulder and a big stomping in the corner. Konnor charges into an elbow and Dillinger comes in off the tag, only to walk into the flapjack. Fall of Man is good for the pin at 2:30.
Hideo Itami comes out post match but gets destroyed with ease.
CJ Parker vs. Tyler Breeze
Parker is quickly sent to the apron and then out to the floor as Breeze is more aggressive than usual. Back in and Parker hammers away before a top rope ax handle gets two. An injured Mojo Rawley comes out as Breeze punches CJ out of the air. A rollup gets two for Parker before the Beauty Shot is good for the pin at 2:56.
Vaudevillains vs. Buddy Murphy/Wesley Blake
English cranks on Blake’s arm to start before it’s off to the partners. Gotch takes him down and the fans call him manly. The villains start taking Murphy apart by the arm, including slamming it onto the mat for two. Blake slips over Aiden’s back and teases a rollup but crawls over to make the tag instead. Smart move there. Wesley cleans house but Aiden makes a blind tag, setting up a European uppercut from Gotch to the back of the head and a running neckbreaker from English (combined to form the Gentlemen’s Congress) for the pin at 4:21.
Rating: C-. Basic tag match here with the Vaudevillains clearly as the next opponents for the Dragons. They have a good gimmick that could set up a new team with a big win and that’s all you need most of the time. Good little match here and the Aussies (Blake and Murphy) have a future of their own.
Bayley vs. Sasha Banks
Bayley chases her into the ropes a few times before finally taking her down and slamming Sasha’s head into the mat. A knee drop gets two on Sasha and she armdrags Sasha out of the corner. Sasha finally kicks her in the ribs to take over and stands on Bayley’s hair for good measure. A running slap gets two and Sasha cranks on both arms at the same time. Back up and Bayley sends her into corner and gets two off a middle rope back elbow to the jaw. Not that it matters though as the Backstabber sets up the Bank Statement to make Bayley tap at 5:13.
Rating: C-. Standard Divas match here with Sasha continuing her climb up the card for a showdown with Charlotte at the next Takeover show. Sasha may not have it in the ring as well as many others but at least she has the character down, which is far more important than the in ring abilities.
Sasha goes after her post match but Becky Lynch runs down, only to turn heel and beat Bayley down herself.
NXT Title: Titus O’Neil vs. Adrian Neville
Titus is challenging and we get some big match intros. The champ grabs a headlock to start before dropkicking him into the corner. Adrian tries to flip again and finally gets caught by a charge to take over very slowly. Titus sets Neville on the top rope and kicks him down to the floor for a big crash and two back inside. We take a break and come back with Titus putting on a bearhug. Adrian slaps him in the head to escape and nails a kick in the head. O’Neil charges into a boot in the corner and the Red Arrow retains the title at 10:02.
Rating: D. Get Titus out of NXT NOW. The guy is dragging down good wrestlers because he has almost no energy out there and is doing the most generic power guy act I’ve ever seen. It doesn’t help that he’s billed as a WWE star but Neville has accomplished more in his career in NXT than Titus has ever accomplished in WWE.
Post match Sami comes out for a congratulation but says he’s on a mission to become NXT Champion. Adrian says anywhere and any time because Sami can’t win the big one.
Overall Rating: C. That ending has me drooling for the next Takeover show because Neville is being built up to be an unbeatable champion instead of the same cowardly heel that we almost always get. By the time we get to the next Takeover, both guys are going to look unbeatable, but that’s what Sami has looked like going into every big match he’s had. The rest of the show wasn’t much but it sets up some stuff for the future. Hopefully we get there soon though as this treading water is getting a bit hard to take.
Results
Ascension b. Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger – Fall of Man to Dillinger
Tyler Breeze b. CJ Parker – Beauty Shot
Vaudevillains b. Buddy Murphy/Wesley Blake – Gentlemen’s Congress to Blake
Sasha Banks b. Bayley – Bank Statement
Adrian Neville b. Titus O’Neil – Red Arrow
Wrestler of the Day – October 24: Steve Lombardi
Today it’s the most famous loser in WWE history: Steve Lombardi.
Lombardi started off under his real name in 1983 and we’ll pick things up on February 11, 1984.
Steve Lombardi vs. Iron Sheik
Sheik bows to Blassie before we get going. A few kicks to the ribs and the camel clutch end this quick. The match ran about 30 seconds.
Off to a pretty famous show with the Brawl To End It All.
Battle Royal
Sika, Luis Rivera, Butcher Vachon, Antonio Inoki, Tony Garea, Jay Strongbow, Afa, Steve Lombardi, Dick Murdoch, Bob Orton, Adrian Adonis, Rene Goulet, Ron Shaw, Charlie Fulton, Terry Daniels, Iron Sheik, Tito Santana, Paul Orndorff, Sgt. Slaughter, Samu
This is of the 20 man persuasion and is the last match before we go on MTV. In other words, everyone that was on the card tonight other than Hogan and Valentine and Backlund plus three other guys that I don’t feel like figuring out. Slaughter goes right after Sheik and of course it’s too nuts to really call. Lombardi is out. Orndorff’s tights say O. P. Isn’t that backwards?
Orndorff is gone as Gene isn’t on commentary here. Strongbow is out and looks very old. Slaughter and Daniels are partners so they’re working together. Orton hits the floor twice but never over the top. Ok scratch that as he and Sheik are gone. Scratch that scratching as Orton is still in. Vachon is out.
This is of course very slow paced with not much going on at all. Adonis is gone and he’s ticked off about it. And of course he won’t leave. He’s still a biker dude at this point. Murdoch is gone and won’t leave either. Ok so he’s not out. This is confusing. Fulton is out. Not a lot is happening at all here. The Samoans are dominating for the most part.
Ok so Adonis is still in too? What the heck is going on? He goes out AGAIN but through the second rope this time. Shaw was eliminated and is back in anyway. Santana keeps Goulet from putting Slaughter out. Adonis, Slaughter and Murdoch all go out in about 4 seconds. There are about 10 left. Afa goes out and that gives us ten.
Tito is out and so is Sika. Rivera goes out and I can’t really tell who is left. Daniels gets us down to six when he goes out. Samu goes out I think and it’s Inoki, Goulet, Orton, Shaw and Garea. If you can’t get the winner from that list you have no business reading this list. Enziguri puts out Orton in some of the funniest selling I can ever remember. Garea is put out, leaving only Inoki as a face in there. Heel miscommunication puts Shaw out and Inoki wins easily.
Rating: D. Boring match here but the crowd was hot for it. This was just to give the fans something to get excited about as we went to the MTV show. Battle royals are usually solid for getting a crowd going and this was no exception. Boring match but the crowd liked it so I guess it did its job.
Off to the Superstars era, starting on January 24, 1987.
Steve Lombardi vs. Koko B. Ware
LET THE JOBBERS EXPLODE! Lombardi would become the Brooklyn Brawler soon enough. He beats up Roma who is still there after getting beaten down. That’s probably his biggest accomplishment of the decade. Fink does another voiceover and advertises Special Delivery Jones.
Dang that card must have sucked. Lombardi hits a decent spinning neckbreaker. Not bad at all. Koko has a muscle shirt on which looks very odd on him. The darker skinned jobber takes over and looks completely stupid. Lombardi is tough apparently. Koko hits the missile dropkick after WAY too long of an amount of time on offense to get the win.
Rating: C-. Longer match here but not terrible I guess. It’s fine for what it was is a good way to put this. The fans seemed to boo the ending though which is rather odd to say the least. Boring stuff but not terrible at all. At the ending of the day though, Brawler probably should be in the Hall of Fame over Ware and that says a lot.
And again on February 7 of the same year.
Outback Jack vs. Steve Lombardi
Seriously, how did I never make this guy OCW Champion (a lot of you won’t get that reference)? Don’t you always love how over the top wrestlers and characters like Jim and Jack have such great wrestling training? Isn’t that amusing? Lombardi gets some offense in here and controls for a few seconds. Jack is really bad. He wins with a bulldog that would be called a clothesline to the back of the head later named the Boomerang. Now if he used a clothesline to the front, he could be world champion for 9 months.
Rating: F+. It went long enough and wasn’t a total squash. That being said, it was just boring. Yeah Piper’s Pit is next and it’s kind of the biggest angle ever so that’s all you get here.
Some happier times on February 11, 1989 with Lombardi now known as the Brooklyn Brawler.
Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Best of? Seriously? Oh these commentators could make my head hurt. I think we’re in Philadelphia here but I’m not positive. This was a feud coming off of Mania and Rooster rebelling against Heenan, so Bobby sent Brawler after him. Yeah there’s a reason why he never went anywhere. Brawler is a force to be reckoned with apparently. That’s just comical. He’s not a great wrestler though. Hayes is annoying as all goodness a lot of the time.
Again, this is on the Best of the WWF…why? Hayes’ latest great insight is that Brawler is a brawler. Oh that makes my head hurt. We get a close up of the Brawler and Hayes says he’s not a very good looking man. This is closing in on ten minutes and it’s just bare bones stuff. I think someone hit a hip toss for the biggest move of the match. Rooster gets a sunset flip for the pin and next to no reaction.
Rating: D. For the Brawler, this would indeed be considered better times. Oh man this was boring. Just WAY too long for a match with the Brooklyn Brawler in there. Also I can’t stand Terry Taylor so that has something to do with it also. I know you can have a decent match with really basic moves, but this wasn’t it.
Another jump forward to MSG on December 29, 1991.
Chris Walker vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Walker is some muscle head that I’m sure Vince, ahem, enjoyed a few times in order to get a job. He’s awful as Brawler carries him to a bad match. I shudder to think what it would have been like without him. Walker looks a bit like Kerry Von Erich if he was more muscular. The guy can jump though. This is his debut apparently.
Brawler takes over for a bit and gets in his jobber offense. Gorilla wants Hulk to win the Rumble. Well of course he does. Did Gorilla EVER cheer against Hogan? Even against other faces? Walker looks good and that’s all he has going for him it seems. Small package gets two. Top rope cross body ends Brawler.
Rating: N/A. Just a squash and nothing too impressive. Walker was about as uninteresting as you could imagine. He’s not horrible that is, but he’s a body and a decent jumping ability and that’s about it. Nothing special here at all, much like the rest of Walker’s career despite his great look.
Time for a new gimmick on Wrestling Challenge on September 25, 1994 as the Brawler becomes a walking baseball. Just go with it.
Abe Knuckleball Schwarts vs. George Anderson
The character was introduced as a reference to the Major League Baseball strike because “this exists” is the definition of comedy at this point in WWF. Anderson hiptosses him down but gets planted with a neckbreaker for two. Schwarts throws him to the floor as we get a baseball themed inset interview which is as bad as you would think. Even Monsoon says it’s bad. Back in and Abe gets a quick pin off a superplex.
Another jump to March 24, 1997 on Raw.
Flash Funk vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Funk takes him into the corner and hammers away, only to get kicked in the face. A hurricanrana gets two on the Brawler and Funk hits a reverse t-bone suplex. Funk’s standing moonsault hits knees but he comes back with a dropkick and throws the Brawler outside. Back in and the Brawler runs into a superkick, setting up the 450 to give Flash the pin. Nothing match.
We’ll jump ahead to February 28, 2000 on Raw for a bigger challenge.
The Rock vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Brawler gets in some shots in the corner but it’s the Rock Bottom to end it in about 40 seconds.
From Smackdown on July 6, 2000.
HHH vs. Brooklyn Brawler/Kaientai
Elimination tag. The trio wisely gangs up on HHH and stomps him down into the corner. Funaki hooks a headscissors and the Brawler gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. HHH slugs Kaientai down but gets clotheslined out to the floor. Taka’s Asai moonsault hits Funaki but Brawler is right there to chop away. He walks into a facebuster for two though as Taka makes the save. Kaientai gets back in and a pair of Pedigrees get rid of them both in about 30 seconds. It’s down to the Brawler vs. HHH but HHH makes the mistake of throwing the referee down. Cue Chris Jericho to lay out HHH with a Lionsault to give Brawler the huge upset.
Rating: D. What exactly are you expecting here? It’s there for the surprise ending and to enhance Jericho vs. HHH. Still though, the Brooklyn Brawler pinning HHH at the height of his powers is something worth a chuckle at least. If you want to see this done better, watch Taka vs. HHH from earlier in the year. Taka loses but he made it far more interesting than it had any right to be.
Another jump to Vengeance 2003.
Bar Room Brawl
Shannon Moore, Doink the Clown, Faarooq, Bradshaw, Brother Love, Nunzio, Matt Hardy, Chris Kanyon, Danny Basham, Doug Basham, The Easter Bunny, Sean O’Haire, John Hennigan, Orlando Jordan, Funaki, Los Conquistadores, The Brooklyn Brawler, Johnny Stamboli, Chuck Palumbo, Matt Cappotelli, and Spanky.
There’s a bar set up in the arena and we’re just going to fight in there. Los Conquistadores are Rob Conway and Johnny Jeter in case you’re wondering. Aaron Stevens is the Easter Bunny. He was on Smackdown for a cup of coffee as Idol Stevens in like 05 or 06. McCool managed him. John Hennigan is more commonly known as John Morrison, and this Doink is played by Nick “Eugene” Dinsmore.
In essence, this is a big OVW party as a ton of these guys were in OVW at the time. Most of the jobbers don’t get intros. Spanky is up on the bar dancing. Bradshaw says the rules are that the last man drinking wins as we’re testing the toughness and their livers. Ok that’s creative. Brother Love wants to pray before we start. Naturally it’s just a massive fight with no rhyme or reason to it. The Easter Bunny is drinking bears and getting punched. This is wrong.
O’Haire beats the APA up with pool cues. This is idiotic. Brother Love beats up Shannon Moore. I’d think that sums up why no one buys him. The Easter Bunny goes through a window. A bunny watching this would be traumatized for life. Hardy can’t break a table which is kind of funny.
There’s nothing of any kind of logic going on here at all. Funaki passes out from beer. Bradshaw beats up Brother Love and I guess that gives him the win. He’s the last man standing even though Farroorq is standing next to him.
Rating: N/A. This was a waste of about 5 minutes. Moving on.
And again to ECW on SyFy on August 1, 2006.
Brooklyn Brawler vs. Kurt Angle
Ankle lock. Do you really need another detail?
From Raw on July 12, 2010. Sadly enough I was there for this.
Santino Bunch vs. Regal Bunch
Her video is literally nothing but clips from the Brady Bunch. No one under the age of 15 gets this at all as she’s just some old woman. It’s weird seeing a Boyle County (big old corn fed Kentucky high school football team) shirt on WWE TV. Florence is the announcer here and says she’s feeling groovy. It’s Regal, Ryder (with regular tights now), Primo and Doink (I’d bet on Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene) vs. Santino, Khali, Kozlov and Goldust. That’s actually a fairly accomplished face team.
Henderson gets a MUCH better reaction here than she did in the video earlier. Wow apparently it was Steve Lombardi as Doink, more commonly known as the Brooklyn Brawler. The captains start us off as Santino has been less annoying lately. Florence puts on Regal’s robe and Santino goes Cobra on us. I wonder if he’s Cobra Commander.
It’s a big mess already and here’s Doink. The crowd only cared about him for the sake of comedy. Khali comes in and falls victim to a squirt gun. A big chop ends this in like a minute. Khali’s music really is good. Henderson is a sport here and at least seems like she wants to be there which is a very good thing if nothing else. She kisses Khali afterwards which is disturbing.
Rating: N/A. Although anything with these 8 guys can’t be incredibly good. Thankfully it seems that the guest host concept is ending. Shame it’s only 7 months too late but whatever.
Raw, July 2, 2012.
Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown
This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.
We’ll wrap it up with a pay per view match at TLC 2012.
3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Brooklyn Brawler
You know what? Why not? He’s in a Brooklyn Nets jersey as apparently he’s abandoned the Yankees (Bronx, not Brooklyn) shirt. Ignore those RYDER chants of course. Del Rio and Slater start things off with Alberto in control. Off to Brawler who beats up Mahal a bit before getting punched down by Heath. Brawler avoids a middle rope knee drop as we hear about 3MB having their tattoos messed up. Not hot tag brings in Miz who gets two on Jinder off a DDT. Del Rio drives Drew into the remnants of the announce table. The Finale takes down Mahal and the Brawler gets the win off a Boston Crab at 3:37.
Rating: D. It should have been Ryder. Seriously, what else do you want me to say here?
Again, what else do you want me to say here? It’s the freaking Brooklyn Brawler. The guy has a career record of like 3-3948584 but he’s still going to get a nostalgia pop when he comes out. He never was a big deal but he was around for the better part of twenty years. That’s not bad for a loser, though I have to wonder, in kayfabe terms, why in the world did he keep a job?
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – October 22, 2014: Is That A Light Up Ahead?
Impact Wrestling Date: October 22, 2014
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
We’re closing in on the Lashley vs. Roode showdown with the champion seeming to have some issues with the rest of the Trio. Other than that we have the start of a tag team tournament for a shot at the titles at some point in the future. I kind of like TNA just doing the week to week TV stuff instead of building to meaningless PPVs for a change. It works for NXT most of the time so why not TNA too? Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Lashley vs. Roode from a few weeks ago and then Bobby winning the four way last week to earn another shot.
The Wolves want the tournament to start so they can have some new opponents.
Matt Hardy comes out and introduces his partner for the tournament: Jeff Hardy. Well that was anti-climactic.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Hardys vs. BroMans
Jesse/DJZ here. Matt and DJZ start things off as Tenay and Taz are already in their own world. The guys in the ring (as in the guys the show is actually supposed to be about) trade headlocks until Matt takes him down and slams DJZ’s head into the mat over and over. Off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion to give Matt two. The Hardys go old school with the Spin Cycle (think both guys doing a half wheelbarrow suplex) but it’s quickly off to Jesse to take over.
Jeff kicks him down with ease before it’s back to Matt for a double belly to back. The BroMans are sent into each other but the distraction lets Jesse dropkick Matt down to take over. DJZ cranks on an armbar until Matt jawbreaks his way to freedom and tags in Jeff. The better Hardy cleans house with dropkicks and a gordbuster followed by the Whisper in the Wind. Jesse loads up a gorilla press but Matt tags himself in and it’s Twist/Swanton for the pin at 6:19.
Rating: C-. Just a basic tag match here that we’ll list under “what else would you expect to happen?” I can’t imagine the Hardys getting another shot after the Series blew the roof off as it would defeat the purpose of having a tournament. I’m also wondering if there are eight teams to fill out brackets as the division barely exists at this point. Decent match though.
Here’s Bram to address his surprise attack on D-Von last week. He loves hearing something being driven through a human’s skin, just like when he drove Janice into Abyss. Bram is the new king of hardcore and D-Von is his target because he’s called a hardcore legend. Whatever it takes, Bram will make sure everyone fears his name. This brings out D-Von and the beating is quickly on. Bram fights back and they head to the floor until security breaks it up in the ring. Angle comes out and makes a hardcore match between the two for later.
Brittany comes up to Samuel Shaw in the back and says she’d love it if he won tonight.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Low Ki/Samoa Joe vs. Samuel Shaw/Gunner
Joe sends Shaw into the corner and hammers away to start before nailing an enziguri for good measure. Off to Ki for a springboard kick to the face but Gunner nails him with a clothesline. Brittany comes down to be in Shaw’s corner as Ki chops away at Gunner. The heels (kind of?) start double teaming Ki but Gunner tells Shaw to get rid of Brittany.
The distraction lets Ki avoid a middle rope dive, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Things speed up with Joe hammering away and getting two of his own off a running kick to the face. Brittany hooks Gunner’s leg for no apparent reason, allowing Ki to kick him into the Clutch from Joe for the submission at 4:36.
Rating: D+. This was more storytelling than anything else as Gunner and Shaw continue to do….whatever it is that they’re doing. They’ve been going on with this for months now and I’m really not sure where they’re going with it. The match was nothing of interest but at least didn’t take up too much time.
Shaw stands next to Brittany but Gunner comes up to yell at her. Samuel nails him with a chair and goes evil again before kissing Brittany.
Ethan Carter III says he can feel it coming in the air tonight. He thinks a Tag Team Title reign with Tyrus would be a good buildup to his World Title win. Spud might be in the building tonight so why doesn’t he find a friend to get in the ring with Ethan and his new friend? Because he’s scared.
Lashley is asked about the title match with Roode but MVP cuts him off and says it’s just another day at the office. King says he and MVP are in the tournament.
Rebel vs. Angelina Love
Love doesn’t show up but here’s Havok instead to destroy Rebel. Gail Kim charges out for the big brawl with the champion until security breaks it up.
Video on Roode vs. Lashley, which I believe is the same video that opened the show.
Angle thinks we’ll raise the stakes in the contract signing later tonight.
Bram vs. D-Von
Hardcore. They start fighting on the floor before D-Von takes him inside for a release flapjack. It’s already back on the floor with D-Von in full control and sending him into the barricade. There’s a bottle of water to the head and Bram goes into steps for good measure. Back in and D-Von nails him in the head with a trashcan lid before hitting a one man Conchairto on the trashcan lid onto Bram’s head.
Bram comes back with a trashcan lid shot of his own because apparently he’s immune to concussions. He shouts that D-Von is nothing and gets a low blow for his efforts. D-Von loads up What’s Up on the trashcan but Magnus comes out with a kendo stick shot for the save, allowing Bram to use the metal bar for the pin at 5:57.
Rating: D. It’s not even that the match was terrible but it’s uninteresting. D-Von just isn’t interesting as a singles guy but at least he’s putting someone over at this stage in his career. Bram already has more star power than Magnus has almost ever shown and has a future, hopefully as more than just a hardcore guy.
Anderson and Melendez are in the tournament.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Kenny King/MVP vs. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson
MVP and King are quickly knocked out to the floor but we settle down to Anderson vs. King. Mr. grabs a headlock to take over but MVP trips him up from the floor, allowing King to kick him in the head for two. MVP taunts Melendez with a tag in the corner like a true heel should before hooking Anderson in an arm crank. A running boot to the side of the head gets two but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Melendez and King come in off the tags with Chris cleaning house as everything breaks down. In the melee, King rolls up Melendez with a handful of tights for the pin at 4:55.
Rating: D+. Another middle of the ropad match here as the stories are now being applied to the tournament. That’s not the worst idea in the world and sets up some interesting matchups in the second round. Nothing great here or anything but it got the job done and kept this story going.
Eric Young fires Spud up and they’re in the tournament tonight.
The Wolves do a quick interview saying they’re looking for the best competition. They go off in different directions and Davey runs into James Storm. James tells Davey how great he is and offers to show him the way. Manik comes in to explain the beauty of the Revolution.
Tag Team Tournament First Round: Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Eric Young/Rockstar Spud
Young has to give Spud a pep talk to get him to the ring and there’s no Rockstar at first. Carter laughs at Spud being a coward and even has a new response to the audience: “You wish you could.” He goes on a rant about how the villains win in this world and how the 99%ers here in the audience are all losers. That’s enough to get Spud to the ring and we’re ready to go.
Spud asks to get in the ring with Carter to start. After the staredown but no contact it’s off to Tyrus but Spud won’t tag out to Eric. Spud hammers away but gets caught by a punch to the chest. Spud’s sleeper attempt is countered into a Big Ending and Tyrus throws him around with a t-bone suplex. Tyrus misses a charge but stays on Spud, knocking him down with a single shot.
Off to Carter for some slaps to the face but Spud comes back with a huge one of his own, allowing for the hot tag to Young. Eric cleans house and gets two off the elbow. Everyone heads outside for a huge dive from Young before Spud dives on both villains. Back in and a quick Tongan Death Grip slam from Tyrus gives Ethan the pin on Spud at 7:14.
Rating: C. Better match here with Spud starting to look like a big deal. It wasn’t a great mathc or anything but it was nice to see some of the stories making sense. Young continues to be the guy you call to fill in a story and that’s all he was here. Carter’s rocket push is still coming and I like sayint that.
We run down the card for next week
Here’s Angle for the contract signing between Lashley and Roode. He has a bonus stipulation to make things more interesting next week, but first he asks if either guy has anything to say. Roode admits that Lashley was the better man last week but says that Lashley will be a marked man next week. Lashley has other priorities in MMA, but wrestling is all Roode has. Being champion is the only thing he wants and next week, he’s fighting with a passion to put the title back around his waste.
MVP has built Lashley up very well, but next week Roode will prove that he’s just a man. MVP cuts Bobby off and says Lashley can takes out anyone he faces because he’s a destroyer. Angle cuts them off and says he’ll be guest referee next week. That’s not cool with MVP but Lashley signs, giving us a staredown to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. I didn’t mind this week’s show as they actually seem to have some interesting stuff coming in the next few weeks. Unfortunately, they need a show to air them on and right now we don’t know where that’s going to be. Roode vs. Lashley should be entertaining and the tag matches will be solid too, making next week interesting TV. However, this week’s build was only decent with the tournament matches being average at best. It gave me some hope though and that’s a big plus.
Results
Hardys b. BroMans – Swanton Bomb to Jesse
Samoa Joe/Low Ki b. Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Koquina Clutch to Gunner
Bram b. D-Von – Metal pole to the head
MVP/Kenny King b. Chris Melendez/Mr. Anderson – Rollup with a handful of tights to Melendez
Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Rockstar Spud/Eric Young – Tongan Death Grip Slam to Spud
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Today we’re looking at the greatest heel commentator of all time: Jesse Ventura.
Ventura got his start in 1975 but we’ll pick things up on March 14, 1982 in MSG.
Bob Backlund vs. Jesse Ventura
Ventura is more or less a copy of Billy Graham minus the in ring skill and some of the muscle mass. Ivan Putski, a Polish wrestler, is guest referee here for reasons not explained by the commentary. Ventura, nicknamed the Body, shoves Backlund into the corner a few times and poses. Jesse tries to do it again but the champion is too fast for him, tripping up Ventura and sending him to the floor.
Back in and Backlund pounds away on Backlund’s ribs but it doesn’t seem to have much effect. A slap to the back of Backlund only gets a glare from the champion and Jesse is mad. Backlund starts hammering away and drives an elbow into Jesse’s face before cranking on the arm a bit. Ventura finally gets in a shot of his own and takes over, stepping on Backlund’s throat. The champion is sent into the corner and Jesse chokes even more, showing off the variety of offense that he has in his arsenal.
Putski finally pulls the cheating Body off of Bob so Jesse pounds away at the champion’s head. Backlund fights back with some shots to the head before the two of them collide with Jesse falling on top for two. Jesse chokes away even more and gets a very slow count from Putski. Even the usually neutral McMahon is complaining about the speed. Ventura puts Backlund over his shoulder in the Body Breaker (a backbreaker) but Backlund escapes and falls on top for two. Bob escapes a second attempt and rolls up Ventura for a fast count and the pin to retain.
Rating: D. This was a rather uninteresting match which is the problem with most of Backlund’s matches: unless he’s against a top level talent, he isn’t able to bring people up to the next level. The match was boring for the most part with Ventura only choking and Backlund using very basic offense to make his comeback for the pin.
Jesse was a big deal in the AWA so here’s a fairly big match from Turkey Day Turmoil on December 25, 1982.
Jesse Ventura vs. Hulk Hogan
Jesse bails to the floor to start and then bails some more. Back in and Jesse actually takes over by cranking on the arm and punching at the ribs. The arm gets snapped over the top rope and Jesse keeps the pace as slow as possible. Back in and we hit the wristlock again with Jesse pulling Hogan down by the hair like a villain should. The sequence works so well that they do it again and Jesse sits there to pull on the arm. He snaps it across the top rope again before putting on a hammerlock.
Another snap across the top as we’re somehow nine minutes into this. Jesse wraps the arm around the top rope and walks around a lot but Hogan starts shaking. Ventura dives into a bearhug and Hulk rams him into the buckles. Now it’s Jesse’s turn to have his arm wrapped around the ropes and snapped down. A back elbow puts Jesse on the floor and they fight over a chair for the double DQ.
Rating: D. This took its sweet time to get going but Hogan made up for it by doing the same stuff to the arm that Jesse did to him. To be fair though, Ventura was never known for his in ring abilities and this was a good example of why. It wasn’t a good match or anything but Hogan made the people care.
Still in the AWA for Super Sunday 1983.
Jesse Ventura/Blackjack Lanza/Ken Patera vs. High Fliers/Rick Martel
The High Fliers are Greg Gagne and Jim Brunzell and they’re the tag champions. The heels (Ventura’s team) has Heenan managing them. Martel vs. Patera gets us going. Patera tries to draw him into the corner but Martel is BRILLIANT (Gene Okerlund said so) and wants to keep it in the middle. This is power vs. speed and Martel snaps off some armdrags. Martel takes him down and works on, say it with me, the arm.
Off to Brunzell for some fresh arm work and an atomic drop. Back to the arm and it’s off to Ventura, who is called Mr. V. here. Brunzell grabs the arm and it’s off to Gagne who comes off the middle rope onto the arm again. Ventura easily picks him up and carries Gagne to the corner and brings in Lanza. The size difference here is huge but it doesn’t last long as Martel comes in and is a house of fire.
Martel drags Lanza into the corner but does it so slowly that Ventura falls into the ring from reaching so much. Patera comes back in as does Brunzell and the power man pulls the Flier into the corner. Off to Ventura for a bearhug. Things break down and Gagne comes in to beat up everyone. Martel comes in to help and the Heenan Family is in trouble. Gagne puts a sleeper on Patera but Ventrua makes the save.
It settles down with Lanza and Gagne and Lanza drives his knuckles into the side of Gagne’s head ala Sgt. Slaughter in 1991. Ventura comes in and hits a backbreaker for two. Gagne gets the tag to Martel but the referee doesn’t see it. I’ve always loved that sequence for some reason. Off to Patera for the bearhug again and Gagne is in big trouble. Gagne escapes with a kind of Thesz Press and sends Lanza into the corner and makes another hot tag to Martel.
Rick misses a dropkick and it’s back to Patera for a suplex for two as Brunzell makes the save. Lanza interferes to break up a potential hot tag and comes in legally, only to get kicked in the face so we can get the actual hot tag to Brunzell. He hits his signature dropkick and puts on a Figure Four, called an Indian Deathlock. Everything breaks down and Heenan gets up on the apron, only to get knocked back down again.
Things settle down again and it’s Brunzell backdropping Patera to set up another Deathlock attempt. Patera breaks it up and everything breaks down again. Somewhere in there Patera pins Brunzell as it’s possible that there was a foreign object sent in there by Heenan when he was on the apron.
Rating: B-. This isn’t something that everyone is going to like but I was getting into it by the end. They had every face in there getting beaten down at different times as well as a lot of hot tags. The fans were staying in this too and it was by far and away the best match of the night so far. The High Fliers were exactly what their name said and it worked pretty well for the most part. Good match here.
Still in the AWA at some point in 1984.
Jesse Ventura/Mr. Saito vs. Baron Von Raschke/Kenny Jay
Saito and Jay start things off but it’s quickly off to Baron vs. Jesse. The Baron drops Ventura ribs first over the top rope so it’s back to Saito for some shots to the ribs. Jay comes in to help his partner and walks into a Russian legsweep from Saito. Jesse drops some elbows on the back of Jay’s head before tying him in the Tree of Woe.
Baron comes over for the ave like the wild man that he is and beats up Saito with ease. He follows up on Jesse by ramming him into the buckle over and over before slapping on his Claw hold. Now it’s Saito making a save and Jesse pops back up to slug away at Baron. There’s the over the shoulder backbreaker with Saito coming in with a top rope chop. Baron is busted open and some other guys come in for the save, drawing a DQ.
Rating: D+. The Baron’s energy made this one a lot better and Jesse was just kind of a background character. The ending made the heels look great though and that’s why you have someone get busted open like this. On top of that they kept things quick here instead of letting it drag like the Hogan match.
Off to the WWF with Jesse appearing on the infamous Black Saturday show.
Jesse Ventura vs. Chris Curtis
We’re in Minneapolis here but Jesse is billed from San Diego. He gets a roar anyway as you would expect. Gene and Gorilla are the commentators. The electronic scoreboard says that there’s a car with its lights on. That’s like something out of a joke for some reason. Jesse yells at a Minnesota Viking in the front row.
We start the match and Jesse wastes time. This was his trademark at the time along with all kinds of colors. Jesse keeps yelling at the football player. Again we know nothing about Jesse other than he wears a lot of colorful stuff. Jesse’s offense is very generic to put it nicely. Curtis gets some offense in but runs into a knee in the corner to end that completely. Body Vice (over the shoulder back breaker submission) is the academic win. Another squash.
Rating: N/A. Just a long squash with no context or anything at all like that. Jesse of course dominated and there was no rhyme or reason to it. Jesse is just some dude that beat up a jobber and we know nothing about what he’s done or currently is doing or anything like that. That seems to be a theme here.
Here he is in MSG on August 24, 1984 in one of Jesse’s biggest feuds.
Jesse Ventura vs. Ivan Putski
Putski jumps Ventura on the entrance and the fans are actually waking up a bit here. Ventura hides on the floor for a bit before going back in, only to be shoved right back to the outside. Ivan hooks a headlock and pounds on Jesse’s head a bit before kicking him to the floor again. Back in (again) and Ivan grabs Jesse by the beard to pound away on him even more. Ventura rolls to the floor again as the stalling continues.
The Body puts a top wristlock on the much shorter Ivan and pulls him to the mat by the hair, meaning we can lay around again! Putski fights up and knocks Jesse to the floor but Ventura gets in a shot on the way back inside. Jesse pulls out some kind of foreign object to choke Ivan but of course doesn’t get caught. Ivan steals it away and clotheslines Jesse with it before choking as well. The referee seems to be fine with this. They head to the apron with Jesse hitting him in the throat and getting back in for a countout win.
Rating: F+. You wouldn’t believe this match was twelve minutes long would you? Jesse was a master at doing absolutely nothing in a match but still getting booed and this was no exception. Putski continues to be one of the most worthless wrestlers I’ve ever seen, as he has nothing of note at all and the match was incredibly boring.
We’ll jump ahead a bit more to March 17, 1985.
Junkyard Dog/Andre the Giant/Jimmy Snuka vs. John Studd/Ken Patera/Jesse Ventura
This is two weeks before Wrestlemania and in MSG. Isn’t that pushing things pretty close together? Dog vs. Patera gets us going and the fans are already into it. Andre is in quickly and the dominance begins. Patera is knocked all over the place and Heenan tries to calm him down. Off to JYD again and Patera can barely stand up. Andre runs Patera off again and it all breaks down pretty quickly.
The heels take over and it’s off to Jesse who uses his usual stuff. In kind of a surprise, Jesse tries to ram Dog’s head into the buckle and it works as well as it always does. Here comes Snuka and the fans go crazy. Jesse gets in a shot though and the heels take over. Studd comes in and Andre wants a piece of him but has to wait a few weeks. Off to a bearhug to Snuka and the heels use the old switcheroo to bring back Patera.
Jesse comes in and we complete the trio of bearhugs. Back to Studd who bearhugs him as well. The place is going to erupt when Andre comes in. Jimmy breaks the hold and tags Andre. I was right about the place erupting. It’s a battle of the giants but Patera breaks up the slam. Studd runs and it’s off to Jesse. Everything breaks down and Snuka splashes Jesse for the pin while Andre runs interference.
Rating: D. Very boring match for the most part but the MSG reactions for Andre and Snuka were just great. Those two could do no wrong back then, which is probably what made the heel turn for Andre work so well. Boring match but a good ending which helped it a little bit. The Superfly Splash is always worth seeing.
Still from the world’s most famous arena on November 13, 1985.
Randy Savage/Jesse Ventura vs. Mario Mancini/Mike Rice
Ventura drives Mancini into the corner for some right hands before it’s off to Savage to start the beatdown. Savage kicks him in the back of the head and pulls Mancini in to stay on the beating. Jesse slams Mancini down and the flying elbow is enough for the pin.
Here’s one of Jesse’s most high profile (and last) matches. From Saturday Night’s Main Event IV.
Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim
Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.
Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.
Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.
Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. This just didn’t work and felt weak. Jesse wouldn’t be around much longer due to issues from exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam. Elmer and Luke would be gone because……well I think you get the idea.
We’ll wrap it up with Ventura getting a title shot on February 9, 1986.
Intercontinental Title: Jesse Ventura vs. Tito Santana
Interesting point to start: we’re told that Jesse and Adonis held the tag titles. They did, but they were the AWA tag titles. They said this regularly but it wasn’t something you expect to hear. I think this is in Toronto. Jesse complains about the closed fist because that’s what heels do before punching their opponents. He calls Santana Chico which is always awesome. Jesse keeps getting caught in holds and heading for the ropes.
Time for a wristlock as the fans are almost all behind Jesse. They pop for Tito’s reversal as well though so I guess the Canadians are confused here. Off to a headlock but Jesse gets a knee to the ribs to take over. Out to the floor now and it’s confirmed that we’re in Toronto. Jesse’s offense is pretty basic but he knows how to work a crowd like a master which is more important.
Tito gets in a few punches but Ventura pokes him in the eye to stop him. Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat. Backbreaker gets two and an atomic drop does the same. Here’s a bearhug which makes sense given the back work that was done earlier. Tito smacks him in the head to escape. Gorilla: “Look at that firey Mexican!” Tito grabs the Figure Four but Jesse gets the rope. They fight up the ramp and Tito puts the Figure Four on out there but Jesse kicks him into the ring for the countout win.
Rating: C. Not bad here but it worked for the most part. It was actually a double countout if you care. This was fine for a house show title defense, especially with someone like Jesse who was a rarity to see in the ring at this point. He knew how to work a crowd but the people loved him which is the right idea.
In the words of Mick Foley, Jesse was a great talent but not inside a ring. People remember him as the heel commentator that ripped on Hogan every chance he got and that’s quite the career to have. Ventura is one of the most interesting people you’ll ever find and wrestling is just a small part of that. Listen to him instead of watching him though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Nitro – May 31, 1999: Now They’re Screwing Up Cage Matches
Monday Nitro #190 Date: May 31, 1999
Location: Astrodome, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone
We’re two weeks away from the Great American Bash and the main event is still dominating the card. Thankfully we’re getting some development on the rest of the card and hopefully the rise of Benoit and Malenko up the card as the new young stars of the company. Well Malenko is pushing 40 at this point so he can only be so young but you get the idea. Let’s get to it.
We open with Raven arriving at the arena but getting attacked by Bigelow and Page in the parking lot. They throw him into a dumpster and slam the lid on his head.
Recap of last week with Piper beating up Flair and the Horsemen turning on their leader.
We see Tank Abbott getting into it with Rick Steiner on Thunder.
The announcers do their thing.
DJ Ran.
Here’s Eddie Guerrero for the first time this year after a horrible car wreck. The announcers welcome him back and show us some photos of Eddie’s totaled car. Eddie lists off his injuries and hopes to be back soon. He’ll be doing some commentary to start things off.
Hak vs. Kidman
Hak has to lose the weapons to start and Kidman actually tries to make it a wrestling match. I can’t imagine it staying that way but it’s nice to pretend for a bit. They stay on the mat for a bit with Kidman holding a headscissors…and now let’s hear from Tank Abbott and his goons about how being in a cage is hardcore. He has history being in a cage you see, and he’s going to referee the TV Title match tonight.
We cut back to the match with Kidman taking over again with a dropkick. Chastity gets on the apron with a chair, allowing Hak to send Kidman face first into the steel. It’s weapons time now as I guess this was a hardcore match the whole time. Kidman is whipped into the ladder but avoids a Swanton through the table. He loads up the Shooting Star but here’s Hugh Morrus to shove him off, somehow drawing a no contest in a hardcore match.
Rating: D. There was some decent wrestling to start but then we went to the hardcore stuff and a Tank Abbott promo because we can’t do that at some other point. I don’t know why they insist on wasting Kidman on something like this when he’s capable of having good matches with any talented guy you throw at him.
Brian Knobs comes out to beat up Hak.
Flair is in his office and orders eight women to his room tonight. JJ Dillon says Savage’s elbow is officially banned. So what else can he actually do?
Clip of Steiner and Abbott on Thunder.
Eddie thanks the fans and Bischoff for believing in him.
Here are Bigelow and Page with something to say. Page rips on the fans and says he knew it was wrong to put Hogan out with a knee injury. He tried to apologize but last week Hogan knocked him out with a crutch as he was leaving. Bigelow and Page threaten to put Hogan on the permanent injured list before turning their attention to Raven and Saturn. They took the trash out earlier and now don’t want to wait for the Great American Bash for their title shot.
Kanyon is going to take Raven’s place in the Tag Team Title match tonight.
DJ Ran doesn’t like Curt Hennig not liking hip hop. Oh geez they’re going to have him advance stories now?
Curt Hennig comes out to the commentary desk and insists that rap is crap. Hennig likes country music better and is going to go sing a country song at DJ Ran’s booth. Bobby Duncum Jr. comes out to sing with Curt and they belt out Blame It On Texas. It’s not really singing as much as it is rhythmic talking but they’re trying. Konnan and Mysterio come out in their Astros jerseys for the save. A tag match is made for later.
We look at Hennig and Konnan brawling last week. Wouldn’t this fit better before the previous segment?
Van Hammer vs. Evan Karagias
Evan gets hammered on to start and is quickly put in a Tree of Woe. He avoids a charge though and grabs a headlock, only to be shoved away and shouldered down. A headscissors takes Hammer over but he counters another attempt with a hot shot. Hammer plants him with a backbreaker and Vader clothesline for two before putting on an abdominal stretch. Evan actually hiptosses the big guy over, only to get caught in a delayed vertical suplex. Hammer gets taken down again and a high cross body gets two, but he grabs the cobra clutch slam for a quick pin.
Rating: D. Hammer really needs something besides the cobra clutch slam. That’s a move that almost anyone could do and while it’s decent for a power guy, he needs to do something that looks a lot more devastating. Or we could just not have Hammer on TV and see how well that works for us.
Here’s Piper to say God bless America and talk about the Horsemen breaking up last week. He calls Flair a gelding and asks Malenko to come out here for a chat. Piper praises Dean as the best cruiserweight of all time but Dean doesn’t say anything. He takes the mic and says that Flair walked out on the Horsemen and last week was just them responding.
This brings out Flair and Anderson but Dean cuts them off and says the Horsemen weren’t supposed to be about feeding Flair’s ego. WCW needs to be about passing the torch and letting the younger guys get their chance on top. Flair says he hasn’t met anyone worth passing the torch to yet. Dean goes to Arn and says last week he promised to have Arn’s back anywhere, but that was last week. Piper and Flair get in a fight and Flair runs away. Natrually that’s the focus instead of Anderson and Malenko because it’s Flair and Piper.
Nitro Girls.
Eric Bischoff joins commentary for no apparent reason.
Konnan/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Curt Hennig/Bobby Duncum Jr.
So much for Rey defending against Kidman, at least for now it seems. Konnan and Rey wear what appear to be prison uniforms. The cowboys try to sing a little bit but get dropkicked in the back to start fast. Mysterio dropkicks Curt’s leg and shouts WEST SIDE on the middle rope. Hennig and Duncum are knocked out to the floor for a breather as Bischoff praises Rey. Back in and Hennig nails Mysterio in the ribs with a right hand before it’s off to Duncum for a shoulder breaker.
Back to Hennig who whips Rey across for the Bret Hart chest first bump to the buckle. The cowboys keep up the fast tagging with Bobby throwing Mysterio around like a rag doll. Mysterio nails a quick dropkick to Hennig and slides between Curt’s legs for the hot tag to Konnan and a genuine eruption from the crowd. There’s the Tequila Sunrise on Hennig but Duncum breaks it up with the cowbell for the DQ.
Rating: D+. It’s another culture clash feud but at least most of the guys in it are worth watching. Duncum had potential to be good but the cowboy thing was only going to take him so far at this point. It’s not a bad match but I groaned at the cowbell ending. WCW was so obsessed with getting rid of the southern identity but they have that around?
Konnan gets hogtied post match.
Here’s Savage on his own with something to say. He talks about Nash being on his way to the arena when Madusa comes out to say Nash is here. Savage calls Nash out for later in another segment that didn’t need to be in the arena.
Page and Bigelow are in the back, standing over an unconscious Kanyon.
David Flair vs. Erik Watts
Holy sweet mother of goodness they can’t be serious. Bischoff just buries both guys, saying Erik got his push because of his dad and that David absolutely sucks. Well he had to be right at some point. He even says that his son would have a winning record if he was in charge. There were warning signs of Garrett Bischoff coming and no one stopped him??? Erik hammers away to start and clotheslines Flair out to the floor. He rams David into the buckle a few times and yells at Papa Flair.
David manages to avoid a dropkick and tries the Figure Four, only to get kicked out to the floor. A suplex brings him back in for two and Watts starts picking him up every time. David is tortured with a Rock Bottom, pumphandle slam and chinlock slam. He loads up another Rock Bottom but Anderson sneaks in for a spinebuster to give David the pin.
Rating: N/A. I can’t rate this because I can’t help but laugh. This is the kind of match that you see on lists of the worst possible matches you could imagine. Like, you say this as a joke instead of something that could actually happen. That’s what we’re dealing with here because WCW actually did it. Raw could be airing a midget Brawl For All against this and it might not be as stupid an idea.
Video on Nash vs. Savage.
Buff tells Flair he wants Savage again tonight but is given a suitable replacement: Bobby Eaton. Buff: “Does he even work here anymore?” Either way, Bagwell promises to hurt him tonight.
Ernest Miller comes out to call out Norton for a fight. Well at least that’s what I think he’s saying as Bischoff keeps talking about how the company in New York is beating them right now and he’s partially to blame. Anyway here’s Norton and we get a bell.
The Cat vs. Scott Norton
Norton immediately nails Cat with a headbutt and knocks him for a loop. He hammers away in the corner as we see the Black and White laughing in the locker room. With Cat down in the corner, Sonny slips him a crowbar to knock Norton silly for the surprise pin.
The Black and White runs out of the locker room.
Here are Savage and the girls again because we haven’t seen enough of them. Well ok that’s true in George’s case. Nothing is said before Nash’s music comes on and here’s…..a tall guy in drag wearing a replica belt. Savage says this is a match so we get a bell, allowing Savage and the girls to get in shots, such as a top rope hurricanrana from Miss Madness and a middle rope elbow from George. Savage drops the banned top rope elbow for a pin before celebrating with the belt. Again, is there a point to this or are we supposed to draw our own conclusions? For some reason Bischoff thinks Miss Madness is a man.
Nitro Girls.
Recap of Bagwell beating Savage by DQ on Thunder. That would be the second time Bagwell beat Savage by DQ on Thunder.
Buff Bagwell vs. Bobby Eaton
For some reason Bischoff goes on a rant about how worthless Jesse Ventura was on commentary. Eaton hammers away to start and goes after Bagwell’s face, only to get monkey flipped and dropkicked to slow him down. Two boots in the corner stop a charging Eaton and a clothesline drops him for two. Buff misses a charge and falls to the floor before taking a swinging neckbreaker in the ring. Bischoff keeps up his tirade by ripping on Bagwell for no apparent reason before switching over to Konnan. Buff comes back with a suplex and hiptoss followed by the Blockbuster for the pin.
We look at Raven getting taken out earlier.
Tag Team Titles: Saturn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Diamond Dallas Page
Bischoff calls Page one of the biggest mistake he’s made in WCW. Saturn grabs a mic and says he’ll keep the titles by himself tonight. Page calls Saturn stupider than he looks. Bigelow gets things going for the only team in the match and shoves Saturn down with ease. A shoulder block does the same as Bischoff hypes up Tank being in the cage tonight. Saturn comes back with a springboard cross body to Bigelow and a belly to belly to Page. Some clotheslines put the challengers on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Bigelow getting in a knee from the apron, allowing Page to clothesline Saturn down to take over. It’s back to Bigelow for a falling headbutt and a two count before the discus lariat gets two for Page. A Batista Bomb gets two more and things slow down a bit. Page comes back in with a top rope clothesline for another two and we hit the chinlock.
Bam Bam comes in off the top but misses the swan dive. Saturn superkicks both guys down and sends the challengers into each other. The Death Valley Driver gets two on Page and there’s one for Bigelow as well. Cue Kanyon to stand in the wrong corner and get the hot tag, but Page hits him once for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C. Well it’s clear that something is coming with the booking but again with the young and talented teams losing the belts so fast. Did they really have to change the titles in just a few weeks? They couldn’t have waited for the pay per view? Page and Bigelow aren’t even an interesting team as they’re just two guys from Jersey. You wouldn’t see Norton and Hennig as a team because they’re both from Minnesota would you? At least the match was decent though.
Savage and the girls are trying to leave in the limo but it’s blocked by a septic truck. You can see it coming from here. Nash is driving, gets out, puts a hose in the sunroof and the villains gets sprayed. Nash says something about this portion of Nitro has been brought to you by Septic Services, for all your savage septic needs. Ok funny line.
DJ Ran.
The cage is lowered.
TV Title: Rick Steiner vs. Sting
In a cage with a roof, Steiner defending and Tank Abbott as the guest referee. Sting sends Rick head first into the cage to start and stomps away with Steiner not all that interested in selling tonight. The champ comes back with a low blow and hard right hands followed by an elbow drop. A dropkick sends Rick through the ropes and Sting rakes his face on the cage before hitting a Stinger Splash, driving Steiner against the steel.
Rick comes right back with a suplex and a ram into the cage of his own. We hit the chinlock as Tank just kind of walks around and doesn’t do anything of note. Sting fights up again and nails another dropkick as there isn’t a lot of energy for this match. Some clotheslines look to set up a splash but Rick raises his knees.
Sting slips off Steiner’s shoulders but can’t get a backslide. Instead he tries a very modified Gory Stretch, only to have Rick get to the cage to escape. Sting sends him into the corner for the Splash but Abbott pulls Steiner out of the way. Rick tapes Sting to the ropes as Tank leaves, meaning in two weeks, they’ve now ended a cage match and a battle royal in no contests.
Rating: D-. Holy sweet Christmas they’ve managed to screw up a cage match. For one thing, it’s WAY too early in this feud for a big gimmick match. On top of that, the match lasted less than eight minutes and was there to push Tank Abbott than for the match itself. The fact that it’s Rick Steiner refusing to sell ANYTHING makes sitting through this even worse. Horrible match here and even worse storytelling and decision making.
Abbott and his goons walk out to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. So let me get this straight: we had two and a half hours of Bischoff’s out there commentary, Tank Abbott screwing over Sting for a no contest in a cage match, a no contest in a hardcore match, Curt Hennig singing, more Flair vs. Piper and one of the worst possible matches in the history of wrestling. I know I’ve said this before, but it can’t possibly get any worse than this.
Now to be fair there’s some decent stuff in here, such as the Tag Team Title match and most of the Horsemen segment, but the bad just cripples anything the good can do for the show. The big story needs to actually go somewhere and that doesn’t seem to be happening anytime soon. It’s far more old vs. old with talk of the old vs. new not going anywhere. There’s still time, but we need to get there and actually fire up the company a bit.
Wrestler of the Day – October 22: Scotty Too Hotty
Today is a wormy little guy: Scotty Too Hotty.
As usual I’ll be skipping his Too Cool matches and make this just about Scott.
Scotty debuted in late 1989 and we’ll pick things up on Raw, February 23, 1993.
Scott Taylor vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
A few shoulders run Scotty over but he comes back with a clothesline. Bigelow nails one of his own though and the squashing continues. Taylor escapes a vertical suplex but gets dropped with an electric chair. There’s a butterfly backbreaker followed by a pair of top rope headbutts to give Bigelow the pin.
From Raw on September 11, 1995.
Isaac Yankem DDS vs. Scott Taylor
The evil dentist hammers him into the corner to start and there’s a chokeslam for good measure. An over the back neckbreaker makes Scott scream and a gorilla press hot shot makes things even worse. A DDT is enough to end Taylor’s misery. Standard squash.
Here’s a match on Superstars on January 20, 1996.
Scott Taylor vs. Ringmaster
This is Austin’s second match in the company and joined in progress after a break. Austin chokes away on the ropes and hits a release gutwrench suplex. A fireman’s carry gutbuster puts Taylor down again and Austin talks a lot of trash. He doesn’t want the pin yet though and slaps on the Million Dollar Dream for the win. You can see A LOT of empty seats as the camera zooms in.
We’ll jump ahead to just before the Too Cool era, starting on Raw, July 13, 1998. They’re still heels here and called Too Much.
Kai En Tai vs. Too Much/Taka Michinoku
Too Much starts fast and hits a Hart Attack on Funaki. Off to Togo who gets suplexed by Scotty. Taka comes in to speed things up and calls for the Michinoku Driver. Kai En Tai continues their speed stuff to stop Taka but he makes the tag to Brian. A powerbomb puts Togo down and Too Much uses some double teaming to get two. Scotty uses the Worm’s grandfather but Togo moves. A moonsault gets two for Dick. Taka and Scott get in an argument, resulting in Scotty taking a senton backsplash to end this. Not enough to grade but it was mostly a mess.
We’ll jump ahead to Backlash 2000 with Scotty challenging for the Light Heavyweight Title.
Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dean Malenko
Dean is champion and this is Scotty’s rematch I believe. Scotty dances with Lillian pre-match. Scotty starts off fast with some near falls. Belly to back puts Dean down and Scotty nips up into the Moonwalk. He sets for the bulldog to set up the Worm but Dean clotheslines him down instead. Dean, the heel, tries to get the buckle pad off but can’t quite get it. He rams Scotty into the buckle anyway and we head outside.
A dropkick to the knee gets two and Dean works the leg over a bit. After a quick leg lock he wraps it around the post a few times. Back to the leg lock and then a leg lace. Dean hits a knee crusher but Scotty comes back with an enziguri. That gets him nowhere so it’s back to the knee by Dean. He tries a spinning toehold but Scotty kicks him into the corner and rolls him up for two.
Malenko kicks at the knee again but then charges at Scotty, sending both of them out to the floor. Back in Dean hits a superplex to put both guys down. Dean is up first but walks into a backslide for two. Scotty bulldogs him down and it’s Worm time! That gets two so Malenko rolls him up with feet on the ropes for two. Things are speeding way up. Tiger Bomb gets two for Dean and he’s frustrated.
Scotty comes back at him again but walks into a powerslam for two. He tries to put Dean on the apron but gets guillotined down on the top rope. Malenko goes up top but Scotty pops him with a right hand. Scotty goes up for a superplex but Dean counters in mid air into a DDT. FREAKING OW MAN and Dean retains. SICK counter.
Rating: B. Malenko is awesome but unfortunately he never quite did anything of note in the WWF. The Light Heavyweight Title was almost exclusively defended on the late night weekend shows which meant that most people didn’t know the title was around or who held it. Dean would hold it until a few weeks before the next Wrestlemania. This was a really good match though and that ending is GREAT.
Time for a six man at Summerslam 2000.
Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi
Too Cool and Rikishi are WAY over at this point and even won the tag titles over the summer. The RTC is Richards/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan at this point. Some of Goodfather’s former women come out with Rikishi, one of which would become known as Victoria. It’s a big brawl to start until we get Scotty pounding on Buchanan. Hotty backflips over Buchanan and pulls him down before getting two off a high cross body. Off to Sexay for a double suplex before Goodfather comes in and falls to the floor. He shoves Victoria down before punching Sexay in the face to take over.
Buchanan gets in some shots of his own and it’s off to Richards for his cheap shots. A powerbomb gets two and JR sounds stunned. Steven gets crotched on top and superplexed down allowing for the hot tag to Rikishi. The fat man cleans house and Victoria throws Richards back in the ring. The RTC is sent into the corner with Too Cool being launched into all of them at once, but Bull gets in a quick ax kick to take the Samoan down. Scotty loads up the Worm but Steven kicks his head off for the pin.
Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.
Time for the Alliance Era on Raw, August 20, 2001.
There are twelve in this if you don’t feel like counting. Farrooq vs. Palumbo to start things off. Quickly off to Sean and Scotty. I wouldn’t expect any long segments in this match. Morrus and Dreamer try to double team Hotty but get taken down by a double clothesline. Here’s Gunn who gets caught in What’s Up but the APA saves. Bradshaw pounds on Tommy and Spike adds a double stomp off the top.
Dreamer catches Spike in a half crab but it’s off to Bubba for some power. A HUGH double flapjack gets two for D-Von. Morrus comes in and walks into a Dudley Dog. Show comes in and everything breaks down. It’s finishers all around for the next minute or so, ending with Show killing Dreamer with the chokeslam for the win.
Rating: C-. This was a big mess but the parade of finishers is always fun to see. It makes no sense as why wouldn’t they use those all the time, but it’s always cool to see. This was really the only way to get most of the people on the roster onto the shows, especially before the Brand Split, which really was a good thing.
Off to England for Rebellion 2001.
Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Hurricane
Heyman’s intro for Hurricane is great stuff. Basic stuff to start so far with nothing really going on early on. Hurricane (Gregory/Shane Helms) is in the Alliance here. This is just going nowhere at all. The bulldog to set up the Worm is blocked. Crowd is more or less dead here. Helms gets a Blockbuster for two.
We get what’s called a Ne-Han in No Mercy from the Hurricane. You cross the other guy’s arms in an X shape and pull back on them like a camel clutch. And then Hurricane lets it go to put on his cape. And so much for that as Scotty gets a DDT and both guys are down. and both guys are down. Kick by Scotty gets two.
Hurricane does a Worm of his own which doesn’t work. Chokeslam gets two. A rollup with ropes gets two. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked into the bulldog and there’s the Worm. I hate that move. Since it’s a chop to the neck after the other guy has forever to get better, it gets the in.
Rating: D. This match sucked. It was just boring on all accounts and the fans could tell. This should have been a dark match so of course they let it go on the actual show. Scotty was over for absolutely no apparent reason. This went nowhere at all and was boring beyond belief. Also, the freaking Worm got the pin. Get on to something else.
Scotty’s next partner was the Hip Hop Hippo Albert. Here they are on Raw, March 4, 2002.
Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert vs. Test/Mr. Perfect
What a strange heel team. Test says Perfect is his partner for the fans or something like that. It’s not Booker due to him being in the match earlier. Albert vs. Perfect to get us going. Test comes in without his tag being seen so Test beats on him instead. Perfect comes in but can’t Perfectplex him and there’s the tag to Scotty. No one, I mean no one, cares. Everything breaks down and Scotty loads up the Worm on Test….and then he walks into a Perfectplex for the win. This was nothing.
After returning from neck surgery, Scotty and Rikishi would hook up as a team, including this match on Smackdown, December 3, 2003.
Rikishi/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Brothers
The Bashams are tag champions but this is non-title. Shaniqua is with the Bashams and is the dominatrix to their…..whatever the term for that kind of person is. Danny jumps Rikishi to start and manages to avoid the Samoan Drop. Rikishi drops down onto the chest though and Basham is in trouble quickly. Off to Scotty and now it’s Doug in trouble. Shaniqua trips Scotty behind the referee’s back but is sent out for her efforts. Doug hits a Vader Bomb Elbow for two.
Off to Danny who works on the back and neck some more. The Bashams hit a double flapjack and a double nipup (nice) for two. Doug hooks an abdominal stretch but Scotty escapes and manages to get the tag to the fat man. Rikishi cleans house and sets for a Stinkface but Shaniqua comes back and the twins switch. Rikishi gets hit low but Scotty hits the Worm on Doug. Samoan Drop to Danny gets the pin.
Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but I never was huge on Rikishi and Scotty as a team. The Bashams were the flavor of the month of the tag teams and the dominatrix thing never worked that well because no one cared about Linda (who drops two very audible F Bombs in her berating of them post match). Rikishi and Scotty would get the titles in two months.
They would win the Smackdown Tag Team Titles and defend then in a four way at Wrestlemania XX.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Too Cool vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA
That would be Scotty and Rikishi who are defending coming in. One fall to a finish again. Bradshaw and Shelton start things off with the Texan taking him down with a shoulder and getting two off an elbow drop. Doug Basham comes in to beat up Shelton now and it’s off to Danny. Shelton tags in Haas for a slam onto Haas’ knee in a cool spot. Scotty comes in to fight Charlie as this is going nowhere.
In another creative spot, Scotty skins the cat but lands in the Shelton jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Scotty for two. Charlie tags off to Doug for a kick to Scotty’s face. The hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house and knocks Shelton to the floor to break up the German suplex. Charlie gets a Stinkface and Bradshaw launches Doug to the floor with a fallaway slam. There’s the Clothesline to Danny but Bradshaw walks into a Samoan Drop. Rikishi sits on Danny to end it and retain.
Rating: D. Whatever man. Seriously, I wouldn’t have remembered this match if you put a gun to my head, just like with the other tag title match. They’re just not interesting at all and there was nothing here to remember at all. There needed to be just one set of tag belts at this point and these matches make it painfully obvious.
Smackdown – December 3, 2004
Wrestlemania XX
With Rikishi gone, Scotty became a jobber to the stars. Here he is on Smackdown, November 4, 2005.
Ken Kennedy vs. Scotty Too Hotty
Not even a Mr. yet. Kennedy quickly kicks him out to the floor for two back inside as this doesn’t look like it’s going to last long. We actually get a bearhug on Scotty until he makes a quick comeback. Tazz makes various jokes as Scotty gets crotched on the top, setting up the middle rope rolling fireman’s carry to stay undefeated.
Here he is in the signature match of the Cruiserweight division: total insanity. From No Way Out 2006.
Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Funaki vs. Kid Kash vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London vs. Psicosis vs. Scotty Hotty vs. Super Crazy
Yeah it’s a 9 way match. Helms is champion and ran his mouth so this is his punishment. The intros take nearly five minutes. Thankfully some guys come out together. No tagging here and it’s one fall to a finish. Who wants to bet that Helms escapes with the title? He won it last month so yeah I’m thinking he’s keeping it. Helms hides on the floor while the other eight guys pound on each other.
The Mexicools hits stereo planchas to take out London and Kendrick. Helms finally gets in and they all jump him as he more or less said he was better than all of them. Obviously I can’t go through every spot and type it up here as it’s a huge mess the whole way through. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s just wasting time until we get to the ending sequence.
Helms and Kash go at it for a bit which gets us nowhere. Helms is sent to the floor as this continues to be six or seven guys lay down while two or three do stuff. Kash gets a sweet rana to take down Psicosis on the floor. Londrick takes out Nunzio and Funaki and then do it again off the top to those same two plus Scotty. Helms misses the Shining Wizard and Crazy gets a big spin kick for two.
London hits Helms with a senton back splash that crushes Helms’ face. London gets kicked in the face by Scotty who then has to do the Worm on Helms. The long wait allows Psicosis to break it up. That should teach Scotty but it won’t of course because he’s a stupid man. Dead Level (brainbuster, but looks like a suplex here) from Kash hits Psicosis but Crazy hits a moonsault out of nowhere. Helms steals the pin to retain. Wow how shocked I am at that.
Rating: C-. Total meh match here. These multi-man matches are supposed to be insane and all that jazz and for the most part they are, but dude, NINE PEOPLE? There’s no way to follow is and it’s the living definition of a match with no flow because you can’t have any. It was ok, but WAY too many people out there which brought it down a lot.
One of Scotty’s last WWE matches was on Smackdown, September 15, 2006.
Miz vs. Scotty Too Hotty
This is Miz’s third match on the roster and JBL already hates him. A hiptoss puts Scotty down and Miz grabs a hand for a high five. Scotty comes back with a hiptoss of his own and dances, only to be taken down with an armdrag. There’s a neckbreaker to drop Scotty and Miz chokes a lot to keep control. A spinning side slam gets two as JBL continues to crack me up with his rants against Miz. Scotty fights out of a chinlock and raises the roof but Miz rolls away before the Worm. Back in and a swinging neckbreaker is enough to pin Scotty. Cole: “That’s the Mizard of Oz.” JBL: “HE CAN’T NAME IT THAT!!!”
Rating: D+. Nothing to the match but man alive was JBL ripping Miz apart hilarious. When JBL gets on a roll and goes insane against something, he’s as entertaining of a commentator as you’re going to find today. Miz would of course get WAY better down the line, which I think would give JBL a mild heart attack.
After being released, Scotty would be brought back for the 15th Anniversary of Raw.
15th Anniversary Battle Royal
THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?
Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7’s Gimmick Battle Royal.
BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.
After a few years in Europe, Scotty would make a one off appearance at NXT on August 15, 2012.
Heath Slater vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Now there’s a name I didn’t think I’d be typing. Scotty looks slimmer than he used to but he’s in good shape. Slater grabs the arm to start but gets run over by a shoulder. Scotty pauses for a second before Slater charges into an armdrag. We stop again to raise the roof but Slater knocks him down to keep us in this century with the playing to the crowd. Off to a chinlock which is pretty quickly released. A neckbreaker gets two for Slater and he tries to throw Scotty to the floor but Scotty hangs on. The bulldog sets up the Worm for the pin at 3:53.
Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but that wasn’t the point. Scotty is a fun character that people remember fondly so it’s hard to complain much about him coming in here to beat a jobber like Slater. There’s nothing wrong with throwing out something like this once in awhile and the match was fine.
We’ll wrap it up with Scott reuniting with Too Cool on Old School Raw, January 6, 2014.
3MB vs. Too Cool/Rikishi
This is as obvious of a match as you can get. Grandmaster and Jinder get things going with Grandmaster scoring with a quick dropkick. Off to Scotty who is still in good shape but gets punched down by McIntyre. Drew misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog sets up the WORM. Slater robs us of our gratification though and 3MB takes over again. The announcers spend the entire match arguing over whether Too Cool can be called the Hip Hop Twins, thereby making the whole thing about them instead of the legends.
Scotty clotheslines McIntyre down and makes the hot tag to Rikishi who looks incredibly slow. He does manage a superkick to Mahal for two but Slater makes the save. Rikishi clotheslines two Band members down and the Hip Hop Drop takes out McIntyre. Mahal tries a sunset flip on Rikishi but gets sat on for the pin at 5:24.
Rating: D+. The match sucked and the commentary was annoying, but this is exactly what modern nostalgia should be about. Too Cool is an act that’s old enough for people to reminisce but not old enough that they embarrass themselves in the ring. Nobody is hurt, the fans get to have a fun moment and everybody wins. Good stuff.
Scotty is a guy that had a very nice and long career which far exceeded what he probably should have done. The Worm became a big time crowd favorite and he was in one of the hottest acts in the company as a result. You couple that with his nice run after he and Christopher split and the fact that he’s been described as one of the nicest guys in wrestling make him a nice feel good story.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Today we have none other than the Sailing Superstar: Tugboat.
Fred Ottman started in 1984 and we’ll pick things up with the required stopover in Memphis on October 11, 1986.
Big Bubba vs. David Haskins
Bubba is just a generic big man character. He shoves Haskins down a few times to start before dropping a pair of legs. Bubba picks him up at two before finishing him with a clothesline and splash. Total squash.
Due to being Dusty Rhodes’ brother in law (seriously. So is Jerry Sags), Ottman got a spot in Dusty’s short lived PWF promotion, including in the main event of PWF Homecoming in March 1989.
PWF World Title: Big Steel Man vs. Dusty Rhodes
Big Steel Man is Tugboat/Typhoon/Shockmaster. Dusty comes out to Old Time Rock And Roll. Well at least he has good taste. Oh apparently Page is the manager of Big Steel Man. That sounds like something a 4 year old would come up with. Steel Man shoves Dusty around a lot to start. Dusty comes back with an elbow. That sequence took over a minute somehow. Dusty jumps (yes, jumps) into a bearhug two minutes into the match. This match is really looking down in a hurry.
Dusty elbows out of it and goes to the floor, only to have his shoulder rammed into the post. Back inside Steel Man works over the arm with a wristlock. The guy is 370lbs and he’s using a move that a cruiserweight could use. That’s not a compliment in this case. The arm goes into the buckle and Big Steel drops four legdrops in a row followed by a missed top rope splash. Dusty rolls over quickly and gets the pin and the title out of nowhere.
Rating: F. OH COME ON! After this horrible show, the big star’s match for the world title isn’t even eight minutes long? There was no build at all and the ending didn’t do anything for the crowd, as they didn’t have a chance to get ready. Also, Dusty looks like a weak champion as all he did was move out of the way instead of hitting a move of his own. Horrible main event to a terrible show.
It was off the WWF soon after this, with one of his earlier matches at Tugboat Thomas on January 2, 1990.
Tugboat Thomas vs. Iron Mike Sharpe
This is Tugboat’s debut. It’s also apparently from the pages of the WWF Magazine. Really? It seems to me to be from an arena that looks like Nashville, Tennessee. I think I smell a squash coming here. Sharpe runs into him and gets nothing. Vince and Jesse more or less spend the match talking about how big he is. Sharpe can’t get anything going other than jobber offense and the splash ends it in like three minutes. Total squash so no rating.
Here’s a similar idea on Superstars, September 2, 1990.
Tugboat vs. Iron Mike Sharpe
This is Tugboat’s return after being injured by Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Rose is almost as fat as Tugboat and looks totally unhealthy. Some shoulder blocks have no effect so Rose waddles over to the corner for some shots to the ribs. Tugboat whips him across the ring a few times before a slam sets up the big splash to hopefully squash some of the fat out of Rose.
Tugboat would get to be Hulk’s little buddy around this time, including at SNME XXVIII.
Rhythm and Blues vs. Hulk Hogan/Tugboat
Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine in a dumb tag team. Tugboat is here because he got the people to try to make Hogan feel better when he got hurt. Do you ever feel sorry for Fred Ottman? Can we buy this guy a decent gimmick? Not even a good one but a decent one? This goes exactly how you would expect it to: Hogan destroys them by himself and they bail.
This is about as weak of a match as you could ask for. Naturally Tugboat gets caught by a Valentine axe handle which he sells like a hatchet to the head. Vince says that Tugboat is beached. You know, like a whale. The Blowhole Kid dodges some elbows and gets Hogan in to clean house. Hogan goes for the legdrop but here come Earthquake and Bravo.
They don’t get to the ring or anything though. Back to the match after a commercial, Tugboat takes a guitar to the back for the DQ. Here comes your monster heel and it’s a big beatdown. Tugboat is off somewhere in search of a Twinkie. Tugboad FINALLY realizes he’s at work and pops Quake with the guitar to send them running.
Rating: D+. Again, just more of an angle than a match as no one cared about who won or lost here. This was just to set up more Survivor Series stuff which is fine I suppose, but at the same time I wish they could have had a better way of doing it. Not sure what that way would have been though.
Another match as the best friend at Survivor Series 1990.
Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs
Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan
There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.
Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.
It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.
Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.
Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.
Tugboat was reaching the end of his usefulness but he could job a bit. From December 12, 1990.
Undertaker vs. Tugboat
This is the requested match. Really? This is WAY early in Taker’s career in WWF as Brother Love is his manager still. Battle of the big men here which means they stand around a lot. Taker tries a leap frog but they botch it completely as Tugboat stops running so Taker lands on him. He had the height for it so that’s on Tugboat. Tugger takes over and takes the taller man down a few times.
Taker onto offense now as things slow WAY down. He’s slower than he is now with all the injuries and barely ever wrestling. Hard to believe this is only eleven years ago. New School is blocked and a powerslam puts Taker down for no cover. The Sailing Superstar (yes really) misses a corner splash and Taker goes up, walks the rope (no hands) and drops a fist for the pin.
Rating: D+. Another weak match here as there wasn’t anything of note here. Taker did what he could but Tugboat was just worthless at this point and no one cared in the slightest about him. Rather boring match all around but some of Taker’s stuff looked cool, especially with him so young.
One more match as the best friend on Main Event V on February 1, 1991.
Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Dino Bravo/Earthquake
Hogan gets a very solid pop and is the only one of the four to get a reaction at all. According to Vince, Quake and Bravo weigh about 1,300 pounds between them. Think Vince is a bit shaky here for some reason? That’s not rhetorical actually as he’s normally more composed than this. Hogan cleans house on Bravo to start. Bravo and Tugboat are in now and this isn’t going to be pretty.
Bravo actually gets an atomic drop and a very good one all things considered. Hogan vs. Quake now, which is a somewhat big feud still at this point. The slam hits on the first try which is something different for the bald one. Quake gets a nice jump kick that looked pretty good for a man his size. The boating enthusiast gets beaten down as we wait on Hogan to get the tag.
Megaphone to the head ends any momentum he had and we take a break. Warrior is still the symbol on the graphic despite having lost the title and not even being on the card here. The referee misses the tag after the break and Tugboat takes a double slam. Hogan blocks the flying fat drop and we get the hot tag finally. Oddly enough Hogan hits the boot on Bravo and rolls him up for the pin instead of the standard finish.
Rating: D+. Totally standard house show main event here. This wasn’t supposed to be anything epic at all and it definitely wasn’t. These shows were designed to get the top feuds on TV and on occasions like this one, ending the feuds once and for all since Hogan had nothing else to do with any of these guys after this. Nothing great at all but fine for what it was.
Time for a tag team run to hide his weaknesses. Tugboat turned on Hogan and became Earthquake’s partner Typhoon in the Natural Disasters. We’ll pick things up at Summerslam 1991.
Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers
Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.
Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.
Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.
Same idea but in an elimination format with partners…..maybe it’s not the same idea. From Survivor Series 1991.
Legion of Doom/Big Boss Man vs. IRS/Natural Disasters
This is your main event people. Let that sink in for a minute. The LOD are the tag champions and IRS and Boss Man are having a worthless midcard feud. Boss Man and IRS start things off with the tax dude (if you need help figuring out who that is you’re beyond my help) getting thrown all over the place. Off to Animal vs. Earthquake which fires the crowd up a bit.
They collide and Animal’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker in an impressive display of strength from Quake. Back to IRS to face Hawk with the latter working on the arm. Typhoon gets the tag, only to have IRS thrown at him by Hawk. Off to Earthquake who carries Hawk to the heel corner. IRS and Boss Man come in again and it’s a briefcase shot to Boss Man’s head for the elimination.
It’s Typhoon vs. Animal now and the Disasters double team Animal in the corner. Quake suplexes him down as Monsoon talks about Bobo Brazil. IRS hits a top rope right hand for two and Typhoon puts on a bearhug. Animal escapes and hits a clothesline before tagging in Hawk. IRS misses a briefcase shot to the head and hits Typhoon by mistake, giving Hawk the easy pin.
Quake wants to fight IRS now but walks off with Typhoon instead, making it the LOD vs. IRS. Hawk powerslams IRS down but a charge goes shoulder first into the post. Hawk gets sent face first into the steps as we continue to fill time by having IRS look like he has a chance. We hit the chinlock as the announcers talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Not hot tag brings in Animal who cleans whatever is left in the house. IRS tries to walk out but runs into Boss Man in the aisle. Hawk hits a top rope clothesline for the win.
Rating: D+. We go from Hogan vs. Andre II to this in five years? That should give you a good idea as to what you’ve got going on with this show. The match was nothing and there was no reason to get excited about it, because the whole reason the match was happening had been postponed to Tuesday. In Texas.
After a face turn it was time to go after the Tag Team Titles. From Wrestlemania VIII.
Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters
Money Inc. is defending and is comprised of Ted DiBiase and I.R.S. DiBiase and Earthquake start things off with the heels (Money Inc.) getting beaten down and the rich man being knocked to the floor. Off to Typhoon vs. I.R.S. For osme arm work by the big guy. Typhoon misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to DiBiase….who is immediately beaten down as well. Typhoon misses a splash against the ropes and falls over the top and out to the floor.
I.R.S. cranks on a front facelock for a bit as Ted hits an ax handle off the middle rope for two. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this match is DRAGGING. Everything breaks down and the challengers take over. A clothesline puts DiBiase on the floor and there’s the big splash from Typhoon. Jimmy Hart pulls Irwin out to break up the Earthquake splash and the champions walk out to retain the titles.
Rating: D-. I have no idea what the point of this was. The match wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t good, and the match didn’t accomplish anything. I’m guessing this was supposed to be filler between the other matches, but we already had one of those and that’s what we’re about to get next. Nothing to see here at all.
Here’s something a bit more worth seeing. From July 20, 1992.
Tag Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters
Don’t you see the connection here? This would be before Mania as Jimmy is with DiBiase and IRS here, despite being with Hogan and Beefcake earlier. Yeah that’s not confusing at all. Irwin’s promo implies this is after April 15 but that wouldn’t add up at all so maybe that’s an error. The champions, Money Inc, tries to leave before the match starts but that gets nowhere. Typhoon and DiBiase start us off.
Everyone goes in there at once and the fat guys do nothing but corner splashes for about two minutes. They follow this up with a BIG splash, just to add some variety. They try it again and Quake misses and hits the floor. No earthquake from it but whatever. DiBiase chokes him with a rope from somewhere. Nothing of note going on here as it’s mainly just punches and kicks.
LONG beatdown segment on Earthquake as the heels do their evil deeds. Crowd is relatively dead here until Quake hits a hiptoss and STILL doesn’t make the tag. We get a comparison of Earthquake to Undertaker which is a matchup that could have been interesting if the timing had been right. Quake was getting to the point of not mattering when Taker arrived.
Tag by Quake doesn’t count since the referee didn’t see it. Double clothesline by Quake as Hart is described as a monkey on helium. Hot tag to Typhoon and the crowd wakes up a little bit. Everything breaks down and the referee tries to get Hart out of the ring. IRS blasts DiBiase in the face with the briefcase and Earthquake drops an elbow….FOR THE PIN? This actually looks like the title change and with nothing else happening…yeah that was a title change.
Rating: D+. Boring match but the crowd popped for the title change, I think due to shock more than anything else. This was their only title reign as they would lose the belts back to Money Inc in about three months. The match was pretty bad but a title change back then was always a good thing. This was a house show mind you, so it’s not like this was well known or anything, making it an actual rarity.
Now for a title defense at Summerslam 1992.
Tag Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers
The Brothers are managed by the Genius and are challenging here. Genius messes up his poem by getting some dates wrong but the fans are already cheering for the fat champions anyway. The challengers try to jump the big guys early on but the champions take their heads off with clotheslines. Both Brothers (Beau and Blake) are crushed in a fat man sandwich, leaving us with Typhoon to start against Blake.
Typhoon pounds away on the smaller man but Blake manages to lift him up for a slam. He can’t turn it over but it was a nice try at least. Everything breaks down for a few seconds until we’re back to more Disaster dominance. Quake accidentally splashes Typhoon in the corner and the ocean themed guy is down. The Brothers double team Typhoon with a splash but he launches Beau to the floor on the kickout.
Hang on a second: Shawn Michaels has left Wembley Stadium!
Back to the match with Blake hitting a middle rope headbutt for a delayed two. Beau holds Typhoon on the ropes so Blake can jump on his back in a move later used by Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin. The Brothers take turns pounding on Typhoon and draw Earthquake in, allowing them to double team Typhoon even more. A headbutt gets two for Blake and it’s off to a front facelock.
Typhoon finally makes a tag but the referee doesn’t see it, likely due to being bored by the match so far. Beau drops an ax handle onto Typhoon’s back but the big man FINALLY clotheslines both Beverlies down but stops to slam Beau instead of tagging out. Blake dropkicks his brother into a cross body on Typhoon for two and Quake has had enough. His save attempt is broken up by Genius’ metal scroll to Typhoon’s back as this match just keeps going. Quake breaks up he cover and gets the hot tag to clean house. A powerslam and the Earthquake are enough to retain the titles.
Rating: D. This just wouldn’t stop as the Brothers got WAY too much offense in here. The problem is the same as it was last year: there was no doubt as to who was walking out with the belts and that makes for a rather boring match. Also, the Beverlies are pretty average size guys so there’s only so much they can do against people like the Disasters.
It was off to WCW after this as……*gulp*……the SHOCKMASTER! If you somehow don’t know what that is, go look it up and see the perils of stupid costumes, fat guys and live television. From Fall Brawl 1993.
Sting/Shockmaster/Davey Boy Smith/Dustin Rhodes vs. Vader/Harlem Heat/Sid Vicious
WarGames again. This is the mother of all gimmick matches in WCW and something that a lot of people with they would bring back in WWE, me being one of them. The idea is it’s 4 on 4 in a double cage match. Two people start us off, one from each team. They go at it for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win). The winning team gets to send in another man for a 2-1 advantage. That last two minutes and then the losing team gets to send in its second man. After two more minutes the winning team gets to send in its third. You alternate until everyone is in and it’s first submission wins.
Harlem Heat are Kane and Kole here but I’ll be calling them by their more famous names. Vader is the other world champion here, the WCW World Champion. Animal is advising the faces here for no apparent reason. Dustin has really bad ribs here. Shockmaster is the hilariously infamous falling man that is more famous as Typhoon/Tugboat. Dustin starts without his partners wanting him to and gets Vader.
Dustin hammers Vader down surprisingly enough and pulls his boot off to beat on Vader even more. Well it’s resourceful if nothing else. Dustin is able to fight Vader off as well as anyone else has been able to do in a very long time. His ribs end that run though and there’s the Vader Bomb. Remember that you can’t end the match until after everyone is in the ring. That’s a great rule that makes sure there’s additional violence.
Rhodes fights back AGAIN and puts Vader down. That could be a heck of a Clash of the Champions main event actually. More boot shots (with the boot itself mind you, not a foot in it) to the head of Vader and Dustin is surprisingly in control. The heels win the coin toss which I literally think was a perfect record for them over the years. Dustin counters a dive off the top by Vader into a powerslam in a nice move.
Kane (Stevie Ray) comes in second. Dustin tries to fight them off but Vader gets a shot in to the ribs to take him down almost immediately. A minute in (remember everything now is just two minutes) and Dustin is in trouble. I’m not entirely sure why they sent in Vader so soon but whatever. Sting comes in but Vader and Stevie wait on him by the door like smart people would do.
2-1 is nothing for Sting though as he fights both guys off. I could watch Sting vs. Vader all day. Dustin is back up but is bleeding badly. His grandma is here tonight. Dusty’s mom is here. Let that sink in for a bit. Vader is sent into the cage and stumbles into the cameraman in a funny moment. Sid comes in to fight Sting in an old rivalry. Chokeslam takes Sting down and it’s all Sid.
The pops Sting gets for even the most basic moves are amazing. Vader and Sid ram Sting into the top of the cage for fun. With thirty seconds left it’s going to be the Bulldog in next. Yes Tugboat is batting cleanup. Davey comes in and Sid jumps him immediately. He fights off Sid and Vader by himself. He was a straight up tough guy in WCW if you haven’t seen any of his stuff there. In a nice touch Sting and Bulldog do to Sid what Vader and Sid did to Sting moments ago.
Kole (Booker T) comes in so there’s just Shocky left to come. Everyone is in one ring so that ring is completely overcrowded. The announcers make fun of Shockmaster falling which is funny stuff. They finally split up a bit and the match gets more interesting as a result. Sting takes down Stevie but hurts himself in the process. Sid gets caught in a Figure Four but here’s Shockmaster to even us up. Tony: Hey he made it through!
He’s bigger than Vader which isn’t something you often see. He beats up everyone in sight and after just over a minute and a half he throws Booker in a bearhug and it’s over. Wow so Typhoon beat a multiple time multiple time multiple time multiple time multiple time world champion? Sweet goodness man.
Rating: C. That’s bad for a WarGames match mind you. It’s ok, but the lack of starpower kind of hurts this here. Sid is an afterthought and Vader got beaten down like a fat jobber. Dustin Rhodes looked the most impressive out there which is odd as all goodness. This was kind of weak and did nothing to set up the next shows or anything. Shockmaster was gone almost immediately after this and no one cared.
Another match at Halloween Havoc 1993.
Ice Train/Charlie Norris/Shockmaster vs. Harlem Heat/Equalizer
Harlem Heat are known as Kane and Kole (Stevie and Booker respectively) and are by far the most talented guys in there. The face team (listed first) is perhaps the least talented group of three men ever assembled and that covers a lot. Shockmaster is the guy that fell over, Ice Train is a big muscular black guy and Norris is an Indian. Equalizer is not very good.
Ice Train and Stevie start us off. 2 Cold Scorpio and Marcus Bagwell are tag champions apparently. Train runs through him but surprisingly enough there’s no tag. Train can more or less do nothing at all. Off to Stevie now and Norris as well. Stevie gets his arm worked on as I’m bored already. Shocky comes in to a pop for no apparent reason. He drops some legs on the arm as we hear about his agility. Oh dear.
Harlem Heat use nefarious means to take down Ice Train as I guess he’s the face in peril. Still no Equalizer at this point. Oh great here he comes. That’s EXACTLY what I wanted to see. This is of course boring and the most interesting thing we hear is that Yoshi Kwan has been replaced by Paul Orndorff in his match with Ricky Steamboat.
Shockmaster, called Uncle Fred here, comes in to beat up Equalizer. The fans chant whoomp there it is to tick me off. Norris in now but down he goes anyway. END THIS PLEASE!!! Booker misses a splash and it’s off to Shockmaster. He locks a bearhug on Booker and falls on him for the pin to THANKFULLY end this.
Rating: F+. Do I need to explain to you why this was terrible? Other than Booker T, Tugboat was the best worker in the entire match. Absolutely terrible, FAR too long at nearly 10 minutes and absolutely nothing special in the slightest about it. At least it’s over though and that keeps me sane
We’ll wrap it up at Clash of the Champions XXV with a singles match.
Equalizer vs. Shockmaster
Yes, he somehow kept a job after falling through a wall. Shockmaster looks like a construction worker now but the announcers crack jokes about him falling down all the way to the ring. Equalizer jumps him as Shockmaster gets inside and uses a wide assortment of forearm smashes and choking. The announcers tell us about something going on in the back with Rick Rude and promise an update later. Shockmaster comes back with a clothesline and a bearhug before falling down on Equalizer with the hold still on for the pin. This was nothing.
The more I think about it, the more I feel sorry for the guy. Yeah he was a one dimensional guy and very limited in the ring, but look at what he had to work with: Big Bubba, Big Steel Man, the Sailing Superstar, Typhoon and whatever the Shockmaster was supposed to be. No one could get those gimmicks over and it’s not fair to put the blame entirely on him for how they went. Some blame yes but not all of it.
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