Today is someone that had one heck of a clothesline: Bull Buchanan.

Buchanan got started in 1995 in SMW as the Punisher. He went about as far as you could go in that promotion before heading to the USWA as Recon of the Truth Commission. The team would be called up to the WWF in mid 1997. We’ll pick things up at the 1997 Survivor Series.

Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Jackyl, Interrogator, Sniper, Recon

Crush, 8-Ball, Skull, Chainz

The Truth Commission is based on a real South African thing, where there were a lot of crimes were committed during Apartheid and the government said “tell the truth that you committed/witnessed these crimes and say you’re sorry.” Amazingly enough it calmed a lot of people down and made the situation a lot better. That being said, I have NO idea why it’s used as a wrestling gimmick. In short, they’re a military themed group. That sums them up as simply as I can.

Jackyl is the leader and is more famous as Cyrus in ECW. Interrogator is Kurrgan and the real star of the team. Sniper is a French Canadian wrestler who means nothing at all and Recon is Bull Buchanan. Crush is Crush, 8-Ball and Skull are big twins and Chainz is Brian Lee from ECW. This really doesn’t scream interesting to me but this is during the Gang Warz period which didn’t ever do anything for me.

Interrogator and Chainz start things off after a brawl with Chainz hammering away but having no visible effect. A sidewalk slam eliminates Chainz in about a minute. Off to Recon vs. 8-Ball with Recon hitting a World’s Strongest Slam for no cover. Jackyl comes in for what might be the only match he ever wrestled in WWF. Apparently that’s almost true as he only had some Shotgun Saturday Night matches other than this. He’s much better as a manager anyway.

Jackyl drops a top rope knee which is immediately no sold. He chops away a bit but walks into a sidewalk slam for the pin to make it 3-3. Sniper jumps 8-Ball and hits some elbows for two as Jackyl is on commentary now. Off to Crush, the leader of the team, who stomps away on Sniper a bit. Recon comes back in to face Skull and they collide, sending Skull to the floor. 8-Ball comes in illegally and clotheslines Recon down for the pin.

Sniper comes in to beat on Skull but gets caught in a double spinebuster from the twins for two. Interrogator hits 8-Ball from the apron and Sniper hits a bulldog for the elimination, making it 2-2. If this match sounds like a total mess that is hard to follow, it’s because that’s being nice about what’s going on.

Off to Crush for a figure four headscissors on Recon. Skull (I’m picking the names arbitrarily. It makes absolutely no difference at all and JR has no idea which is which anyway) DDTs Sniper but walks into a sidewalk slam from Interrogator for the pin. It’s Crush vs. Sniper and Interrogator and Crush immediately powerslams Sniper down for the pin. Interrogator is in the ring before the pin hits and ANOTHER FREAKING SIDEWALK SLAM gives Interrogator the final pin and the victory.

Rating: F. In ten minutes, we had seven eliminations, FOUR of which were by the SAME FREAKING MOVE. This was another match where just like the first, there was no one out there that could carry things to make the match work in any way. It makes Interrogator looks good, but it barely accomplished that because of how bad the match was.

This one has to be better. From Raw on January 5, 1998.

Sniper/Recon vs. Skull/8-Ball

This is an interesting pair of teams. Sniper/Recon (Recon is more famous as Bull Buchanan) are part of the Truth Commission led by Jackyl who was going to be a huge part of a major angle but was more or less thrown out of the company after being a jerk in general. He wound up in ECW as Cyrus.

Skull/8-Ball are the Disciples of Apocalypse, a biker team that was part of a biker faction. This was a very faction heavy time as there was also the Nation and Los Boricuas, the Latino gang. There you have four factions with 16 guys combined. That covers a lot of ground. The DOA here are more famous as the Harris Brothers, Creative Control, and the Blu Brothers in the mid 90s. Why they kept getting hired is beyond me.

Jackyl gets on commentary here. He goes on one of his rants as Recon beats up Skull. Swinging neckbreaker puts Recon down. Ok Recon is bald. Got it. Hot tags on both ends as the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Here comes Kurrgan, the monster of the Truth Commission, as Skull hits a DDT on Sniper to get the win.

Rating: D-. Wow this was uneventful. These factions feuded for what felt like ever and nothing ever came of it. They all kind of just went away with nothing to show for it, much like a lot of other stuff during the Attitude Era. Nothing to see here other than more weak build for the Rumble where the winner was never once in doubt.

Well….it was better. We’ll try again on Raw, February 9, 1998.

Steve Blackman vs. Recon

Recon is more famous as Bull Buchanan. A few seconds into the match the Jackyl’s music plays and a pulpit comes down from the ceiling with him behind it as he talks about how evil wrestling and this company is. A leg drop from Recon gets two as it’s hard to tell what’s going on in the match as we keep looking at Jackyl. It would be a lot more impressive if he didn’t look at his script every 2 seconds. Sniper, the partner of Recaon, beats on Blackman a bit on the floor and sends him into the steps just because he can.

Sunset flip gets two for Blackman. HORRIBLE Russian leg sweep gets no cover as no one has gone after Jackyl to yell at him. Ross finally says we have a match going on by the way. Granted the match kind of sucks but who cares? Top rope elbow by Blackman misses but Recon misses a rotating splash and a chest stretch ends this clean. This whole match was one long promo by Jackyl. No rating due to me missing most of the match due to the camera being on Jackyl.

Due to what should be obvious reasons, Buchanan was sent to OVW for a lot of training. He would return nearly two years later under the name of Bull Buchahan as Big Boss Man’s partner. They would open Wrestlemania XVI.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

He’s on an upswing! Let’s keep going with Raw on April 10, 2000.

The Rock vs. ???

It’s pin/submission/escape here. The opponent(s) are Boss Man and Buchanan, as introduced by HHH and company. Rock fires away on both guys to start before the numbers catch up with him. Both guys beat him down and go for the escape but Rock pulls them both down in a nice display of athleticism. Rock goes to escape but Shane climbs the cage for the save, allowing Buchanan to crotch Rock for the real stop.

A legdrop gets two for Buchanan and Rock is still in trouble. Gee, who would have bet on him getting beaten down this much to start? The ax kick from Bull puts Rock down again for two from both big guys and they’re getting frustrated three minutes into the match. There’s a double suplex to Rock and things slow down a lot. A lot of choking ensues and Rock is sent into the cage.

Buchanan tries the one cool move he can do, a spinning clothesline off the top, but it hits Boss Man by mistake. Rock makes his comeback and hits a Samoan Drop on Bull for two before walking into a sidewalk slam from Boss Man for two. Rock knocks Boss Man down and sees Buchanan trying to leave. He hits Bull in the back and catches a jumping Bull in a Rock Bottom for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Did anyone not know the ending from the opening bell here? The fans were into it but it doesn’t do much this many years later. At the end of the day there was no way Rock wasn’t winning here off a Rock Bottom out of nowhere. It sets up HHH vs. Rock though at one of the best shows ever so I can’t complain much about that.

From a few months later on Raw, June 5, 2000.

Hardy Boys vs. Bull Buchanan/Big Bossman

Bull starts with Matt and a big boot puts Matt down. Off to Boss Man as Lita is watching in the back, having not yet hooked up with the brothers yet. Back to Bull for a backbreaker but he misses a leg drop. Off to Jeff who speeds things up as everything breaks down. Jeff hits a quick Swanton on Bull for the win. This was nothing.

Buchanan would join Right to Censor, including this match at Summerslam 2000.

Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

Too Cool and Rikishi are WAY over at this point and even won the tag titles over the summer. The RTC is Richards/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan at this point. Some of Goodfather’s former women come out with Rikishi, one of which would become known as Victoria. It’s a big brawl to start until we get Scotty pounding on Buchanan. Hotty backflips over Buchanan and pulls him down before getting two off a high cross body. Off to Sexay for a double suplex before Goodfather comes in and falls to the floor. He shoves Victoria down before punching Sexay in the face to take over.

Buchanan gets in some shots of his own and it’s off to Richards for his cheap shots. A powerbomb gets two and JR sounds stunned. Steven gets crotched on top and superplexed down allowing for the hot tag to Rikishi. The fat man cleans house and Victoria throws Richards back in the ring. The RTC is sent into the corner with Too Cool being launched into all of them at once, but Bull gets in a quick ax kick to take the Samoan down. Scotty loads up the Worm but Steven kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.

Buchanan and Goodfather would get a Tag Team Title shot on Raw, November 6, 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Right to Censor vs. Hardy Boys

The Hardys are defending of course. Lita spears Ivory and hammers away before the match starts, earning a double ejection. The champions double team Buchanan to start and get two off a double suplex. Matt is sent throat first into the middle rope and choked by Goodfather as the challengers take over. A belly to back suplex gets two for Goodfather and he drops Matt with a boot to the chest.

Matt breaks up a superplex and nails a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Jeff. Everything breaks down and the referee gets knocked to the floor. Goodfather is sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline from Matt. Jeff hits the Swanton on Buchanan but there’s no referee. Edge and Christian hit the ring for a distraction, allowing Steven Richards nail Jeff with a title belt to give Goodfather the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was more about Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys than the new champions but at least they finally did something with the RTC. The team was never going to be anything major so giving them the midcard titles is about as good as they were going to get. Not much to see here.

After losing the titles, the RTC would face the APA on Christmas night, 2000.

Right to Censor vs. APA

It’s Buchanan/Godfather this time. Buchanan gives a very southern promo, talking about how evil the Dudleys are. Bradshaw starts with Godfather and the beating begins. Farrooq and Buchanan come in and the bald one takes a spinebuster. Bradshaw comes in and runs people over, including a top rope shoulder. Ivory interferes and Jackie runs her over. They get in the ring because Jackie has to get on my nerves at least once a year. Val Venis uses the distraction to run in and DDT Bradshaw. A Buchanan legdrop ends this. The match was nothing.

Commissioner William Regal would use the RTC as minions to attack Chris Jericho. From Raw, March 12, 2001.

Chris Jericho vs. Right To Censor

All four of them here, as in Richards, Venis, Buchanan and Goodfather. Oh and Ivory is chilling there also. At the very least they have to tag so this won’t be a total slaughter. Buchanan starts as this is luckily non-title. No idea why Regal didn’t want the title on the line but I doubt it matters for the most part. Middle rope dropkick sets up the bulldog and the Lionsault but Goodfather makes the save.

Off to Venis now as the problem becomes clear: none of the RTC are that good. Regal would keep sending these matches against Jericho for awhile including a handicap tables match with the Dudleys. The RTC finally triple teams him to take over for Venis. Venis gets a Russian leg sweep and it’s off to Goodfather. Jericho fights them off but walks into a Steven Kick which gets them nowhere as the heels have some miscommunications and start brawling as Jericho gets the Walls on Val and then Buchanan and then Goodfather, only for Val to get a powerbomb move for the pin.

Rating: C. For a 4-1 match this wasn’t all that bad. The idea of stacking the deck against Jericho was a good idea which resulted in Jericho beating Regal at the PPV for the IC Title before losing it to him at Backlash I think. Not bad here but really nothing they could go anywhere with as he wasn’t going to beat four guys.

After the team disbanded, Buchanan was sent back to OVW. He would return in late 2002, including this match on Velocity, August 10, 2002.

Mike Awesome vs. Bull Buchanan

Bull now has short red trunks and a blond mohawk. Awesome quickly clotheslines him out to the floor and nails a big dive to take over. Back in and a top rope clothesline gets two on Bull but he comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own. Buchanan nails him with the running corner clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They head back to the floor with Awesome getting sent into the steps. It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect though as he comes back in with a slingshot shoulder. The Awesome Splash misses and Buchanan ends him with a guillotine legdrop.

Rating: D+. Awesome is always fun to watch and the match was a decent enough power brawl for four minutes. Buchanan does look a lot better here, but at the end of the day this is just a match on Velocity and not Raw or Smackdown. Awesome being treated like this still doesn’t make sense to me as he could have been a fairly big deal if treated as something other than a big jobber.

Buchanan would head off to Japan after this for a long run in AJPW. Here he is on July 18, 2004. This is one heck of a lineup.

Animal/Robert Gibson/Gran Hamada vs. Jamal/Buchanan/Taka Michinoku

Jamal and Hamada are about to start but Jamal tags out to Taka to make it fair. That sends Hamada over to tag in Animal…..who tags Hamada right back in before there’s any contact made. Hamada picks the ankle to start and easily takes Taka down to the mat. Back up and Hamada tries a Fujiwara Armbar but Taka is quickly in the ropes. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on Taka and it’s off to Gibson vs. Buchanan.

Robert’s full nelson has no effect so he tries it a few more times until Buchanan climbs the ropes. Gibson is the first smart guy ever as he just lets Buchanan fall to the mat instead of letting himself get rolled up. Buchanan hammers away in the corner before going Old School into a neckbreaker. Gibson avoids a legdrop and rolls over to tag Animal. Buchanan tags Jamal and it’s time for the big power showdown.

They lock up with both guys being shoved into the corners. With that going nowhere, Jamal runs Animal over with a clothesline and tags Taka, who dives into a powerslam for two. Back to Gibson who drops some knees before bringing Hamada in. The heels (I think?) take over on Hamada in the corner with Buchanan pounding away with right hands and a slam. Back to Jamal for some elbow drops before Hamada is put in the corner for a running dropkick, splash and Umaga Attack for two more.

Buchanan hits the top rope clothesline and Jamal adds the top rope splash but Animal makes the save. Taka superkicks him for the same but Hamada scores with a tornado DDT. It’s off to Buchanan vs. Gibson as everything breaks down. Buchanan loads up a powerbomb on Hamada but gets hurricanranaed down. An ax kick is enough to put Hamada down for three.

Rating: C. This was a nice mix of tag wrestlers in a big six man and the match wasn’t too bad. Buchanan looks much better as a power guy just there to beat people up rather than trying to fit him into a character or stable. Granted that’s something that works a lot better in a place like Japan where it’s more about the action than the characters and promos.

We’ll wrap things up with a tag match from Pro Wrestling Noah from November 14, 2008.

Keith Walker/Buchanan vs. Akira Taue/Takeshi Morishima

It’s a brawl to start and all four guys head out to the floor. The Americans have the early advantage with both guys choking away and Buchanan using a table as a bonus. Taue comes back with a chair to Buchanan’s ribs and a DDT onto a platform. Walker has a bit more luck with Morishima by sending him into the barricade and nailing him in the ribs with a chair. Keith and Takeshi get back inside with Takeshi backdropping out of a powerbomb attempt and sitting on Walker’s chest.

Taue comes in for a double big boot followed by a series of running boots to the face in the corner. Walker finally comes back with a clothesline and makes the tag to Buchanan to clean house. A knee drop gets two on Taue and a claw slam gets the same. Morishima comes back in with a missile dropkick but Buchanan kicks him in the face. Back to Walker for two off a spear and a chokebomb to the hugh Morishima but Taue makes the save. Keith charges into the post though and Taue chokeslams Takeshi onto Walker for two. A Saito Suplex is enough to pin Walker.

Rating: C-. This was fine save for the barrage of boots to the face. It’s like the chops and forearms in ROH: do something else already. The match was another big power brawl and there’s nothing wrong with that. Walker was even more of a muscle guy that Buchanan but somehow with less variety to his style.

Buchanan is a guy that is fine as a monster in a stable or tag team but he was never going to be a star on his own. He had some good agility though and that’s more something that always impressive in guys his size. The RTC run wasn’t bad at all but Buchanan was a guy that did stuff which was topped by other guys his size.

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Monday Nitro #185
Date: April 19, 1999
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainsville, Florida
Attendance: 8,567
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

We’re getting closer to Slamboree and the main event is set with Page defending against Nash. Other than that we have the further exploits of the NWO as things fall apart with Hogan nowhere in sight. Savage and Sting are still running around and feuding with Flair so it’s hard to say what’s coming tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with Goldberg arriving and carrying a briefcase. He says it’s him vs. Page for the title tonight.

Ricki Rachman and DJ Ran do their thing.

Nitro Girls.

Scott Armstrong/Steve Armstrong vs. Dean Malenko/Chris Benoit

This should be good. Benoit and Scott get things going and of course Charles Robinson is referee. They speed things up to start with Scott ducking a chop but getting taken down with a very crisp armdrag. A quick tag brings in Steve who cleans house and stomps away on Benoit. The Horsemen get Steve out to the floor though and the triple teaming is on. Back in and Malenko nails a low dropkick to the side of Steve’s head and the stomping continues.

Benoit takes his head off with a clothesline for two as a LOUD Goldberg chant starts up. Malenko comes back in and hammers away in the corner before Anderson helps with even more cheating. Robinson allows the Horsemen to change without a tag to Arn’s approval. Benoit finally charges into a boot but still won’t allow the tag off to Scott. Dean comes back in but walks into a double clothesline, finally setting up the hot tag. Scott comes in and everything breaks down. Dean jumps over Scott in the corner and powerbombs him down into the Cloverleaf for the submission.

Rating: C+. This was the best opening match they’ve had in a good while. The Armstrongs are guys that can wrestle with anyone so if you give them a pair of technicians like Malenko and Benoit it’s bound to be good. More importantly than that though, the brothers kept working the whole time they were getting squashed. It’s so annoying to see someone just laying on the mat instead of trying to get the tag or doing anything other than just laying around.

Georgia, the woman that gave Flair papers that he signed without looking at them on Thunder, gives them to Piper. Roddy looks very pleased.

Opening sequence.

Savage and Gorgeous George arrive but Doug Dillinger won’t let them in. Piper comes up and says he’s the Commissioner so they need to be let in. Dillinger reluctantly agrees.

Gene brings out DDP for a chat. Page starts by wishing Hogan the best with his knee surgery. The fans are already chanting for Goldberg. Page says Goldberg needs to get focused like he’s been. Both guys know what it’s like to grab the brass ring because Page is World Champion right now.

Page sees a lot of Goldberg in himself and there’s nothing he would like more than to put the title on the line tonight….but that’s not going to happen. This brings out Goldberg who gets right in Page’s face. Apparently Page agrees to put the title on the line tonight. Goldberg’s music hit and he was out of the ring in less than a minute. So why did Page say no in the first place if he would agree that fast?

Piper is in the back with David Flair and says Ric needs help. They talk about him being put under observation for 72 hours and David agrees before signing the papers Piper was given earlier.

Page comes up to Gene in the back and confirms the title is on the line. Gene isn’t done yet though and shows us the clip from Spring Stampede of Page injuring Hogan. We don’t actually see Page’s reaction to it or anything, but why would that be interesting?

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kidman vs. Blitzkrieg

Mysterio is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The fans really odn’t seem to like Psychosis or Blitzkrieg. We cut to the front row and see a man all in black with a mohawk hair cut and jewelery on his fingers that look like claws. Tony recognizes him as Alex Wright, which is very impressive detective work on his part as Wright looks completely different and is wearing big sunglasses.

It’s a big brawl to start with only Juvy and Psychosis left standing. Blitzkrieg avoids a charge to send Psychosis hard into the post. Juvy loads up a powerbomb on Psychosis for a springboard seated senton from Rey. Guerrera backdrops Mysterio out to the floor and holds up Blitzkrieg for a missile dropkick from Psychosis. Blitzkrieg escapes another powerbomb attempt and causes Juvy to accidentally hit a top rope Fameasser on Psychosis.

Rey is back in with a split legged moonsault to Juvy but Psychosis takes over and throw Guerrera into the air for a big crash. Blitzkrieg and Rey knock the other two to the floor before hitting a pair of Asai moonsaults. Back in and Blitzkrieg hits some standing flips onto Rey for two as Juvy and Psychosis are trying to get back in. Guerrera is back up first with a springboard missile dropkick to Blitzkrieg’s back, leaving him alone with Rey.

A quick hurricanrana puts Guerrera down and a slingshot splash gets two. Psychosis and Rey take turns breaking up pins by hitting each other in the face. Things settle down with Juvy bulldogging Rey for two before calling for the Juvy Driver. Instead it’s a kind of reverse DDT but Psychosis comes in with a top rope splash for two on the champion. Mysterio’s top rope bulldog puts Psychosis down and we have to take a break.

Back with Juvy hitting a huge dive onto Blitzkrieg and Psychosis. Rey goes outside as well but Psychosis pops up and dives onto all three of them. Back in and Rey powerbombs Juvy for two but Psychosis makes a save. Blitzkrieg busts out a very quick Figure Four to Psychosis, only to have Juvy make the save and drop a guillotine legdrop on Psychosis for two. Juvy powerbombs Blitzkrieg but Rey gets the cover for two. Mysterio hurricanranas Juvy off the top and Psychosis steals two of his own.

Blitzkrieg can’t get a jawbreaker on Juvy so Rey dropkicks Guerrera to the floor instead. Rey makes the mistake of posing instead of covering, allowing Juvy to try a powerbomb out of the corner. That’s fine with Rey as he hurricanranas Guerrera again. Juvy pops back up and snaps Mysterio across the top for two more. Psychosis clotheslines Juvy to the floor but Blitzkrieg kicks him in the face.

A slam sets up the Phoenix Splash for two on Psychosis but this time it’s Juvy making the save and Juvy Drivering Blitzkrieg for two. Rey comes back in and hurricanranas Guerrera out to the floor. Psychosis breaks up a Blitzkrieg superplex attempt and drops the guillotine legdrop for the pin and the title in a shocker.

Rating: B+. WHAT A MATCH! I don’t ever remember a cruiserweight match going this long (over twenty one minutes) and there is something going on for the entirety of the time. Usually there’s the period where things cool down but they never reached that point here. Psychosis winning is a big surprise and the match was very entertaining. Great stuff.

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Ric, in a University of Florida shirt, seems very happy to be in Gainesville. He talks about students thinking they can out drink him and offers to buy each one of them a drink. Before he can get any further he’s interrupted by Roddy Piper. Ric wants to know why Piper always has to ruin his good time but Piper cuts him off and says Flair is becoming the Dennis Rodman of WCW.

He brings up Flair signing papers and offering to buy kids drinks. Somehow this makes him insane and unfit to be President of WCW. Piper is treating this like something serious instead of over the top like it should be. Flair starts dancing and throws his shoes into the crowd. Roddy brings up Flair handcuffing himself to the ropes to fight Bischoff from a few months back so Flair strips off his clothes to reveal Florida boxers.

Ric says his first crazy thing and says he’s President of the United States. Robinson brings out Flair’s robe as Piper has Gene read the papers. Basically they say Flair is nuts and that he’s out of office pending a review of his competence. Flair fires Piper and gives Florida the National Championship from Tennessee.

It’s time for more dancing so Piper says that the paper Flair signed last week made Flair vs. Nash (who went to the University of Tennessee in a nice touch) tonight. So he’s crazy but allowed to wrestle? Anderson faints in the corner for a few seconds but Flair makes himself vs. Piper for the Presidency at Slamboree and if Piper loses he’s fired.

This segment was a mess and really doesn’t make sense. The problem comes down to Flair not being insane until just now, and it’s a stretch even at this point. Anderson and Heenan made it clear that Flair taking off his clothes and spending a fortune is Flair being himself. That’s very true and we’ve seen him do exactly that for well over ten years.

Yeah Flair has been a bit out there with stuff like signing papers without looking, but going from that to having him committed in four days is a really big jump for this story. It makes the whole thing seem stupid and they could have gotten to the Piper vs. Flair match for control without it. The fact that this is setting up Roddy Piper vs. Ric Flair in a major match on PPV makes things even worse as you can almost hear the fans groan when Piper is mentioned anymore.

The Black and White tells Konnan they’re looking for Nash but Konnan says he has nothing to do with Nash anymore. This earns him a beatdown. Konnan was scheduled to fight for the US Title later in the night.

DJ Ran and Nitro Girls.

The announcers hype up the World Title match and they actually have a graphic for it. The shot of the belt on Page’s shoulder looks horrible as he’s not even touching it.

Brian Knobbs vs. Hardcore Hak

This is a garbage can match or something like that. Brian hammers Hak with a can as he comes in but Chastity slides in some extra weapons for them to use. We get a Pit Stop for old times’ sake and Hak is sent out to the floor. Hak sends him into the post and a cameraman goes down. It’s already table time but Knobbs nails him in the back with a chair.

Hak comes back with a ladder as you can barely see the mat at this point. There’s no wrestling in between these spots. Hak bulldogs him onto the ladder and sets up the table in the middle of the ring. He misses a Swanton though and mostly breaks the table to give Brian a two count. We get the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot to put Hak down but Chasitity takes Knobbs’ kendo stick away. Not that it matters as a pair of trashcan shots is enough to pin Hak.

Rating: D-. Remember the good tag match and the really good four way? This was nothing like those matches. As is usually the case with these things, the best part of it was it only ran about seven minutes. On the other hand, I could have spent those seven minutes doing something more constructive, like ripping my fingernails out with rusty pliers.

More DJ Ran because WCW doesn’t understand wrestling fans.

Nitro Girls.

Randy Savage has a present for Gorgeous George: Madusa, who is here to train her for Slamboree.

Nash comes in to see the Black and White and ask about what happened with Konnan. Stevie says they know what Nash has been doing and won’t be taking it anymore. Nash leaves, saying the team doesn’t want this. They’re going to send Norton to take care of Steiner tonight.

Buff Bagwell vs. Disco Inferno

Buff talks about how bad Scott Steiner thinks he is and rips off his catchphrases. Disco stomps him down in the corner to start but gets caught by a clothesline. Bagwell chokes Disco with his own shirt before working on a wristlock. A dropkick puts Inferno on the floor and Buff does his strut.

Disco comes back in and is quickly hiptossed right back to the floor. He tries to get back in again and actually shows some intelligence by snapping Buff’s throat across the top rope. Disco starts going after the neck as we stop to look at Alex Wright again. Bagwell avoids a middle rope elbow and makes his quick comeback, only to get crotched on the top. The Last Dance is countered and Buff tries (and fails) a running Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another good win for Bagwell as they actually seem to be building up a young guy for a change. I can’t imagine it’s for anything more than feeding him to Steiner but it’s nice while it lasts. Bagwell really needs to stick with the middle rope version of the Blockbuster though as it looks about 8000% better.

Here’s Scott Steiner with a group of women because Godfather was a hot act around this time. After some catchphrases, Steiner gets right to it with talking down Bagwell and mentioning Buff’s history as a male stripper. He goes on about it for awhile and says the NWO made Bagwell. The fans chant steroids and there’s no Norton as promised by the Black and White. Not only are the boring and losers, but they can’t tell the truth about their sneak attacks announced on national TV. What is the world coming to?

Video on Gorgeous George vs. Charles Robinson.

Nitro Girls.

DJ Ran for the third or so time tonight.

Recap of the Flair/Piper stuff from earlier.

Kidman vs. Raven

Raven starts off aggressively but gets taken down by a headscissors. He pops back up and suddenly feels like trying a powerbomb. Kidman is lucky that his opponents always want to use that move even though they never do otherwise. After the faceplant, Raven sends Kidman out to the floor and throws in a chair. The drop toehold sends Kidman face first into the steel and Raven drops a leg onto the chair onto Kidman’s head for good measure. Kidman shoves Raven off the top but the Shooting Star hits the chair. The Horsemen come in for the DQ, even though Raven matches are supposed to be non-title.

Mysterio makes the save for his partner and the Horsemen run. Saturn decks Mysterio but gets sent down with a headscissors. Rey gets superkicked but Kidman powerbombs Saturn down. Raven Evenflows Kidman but the Horsemen run back in for the big beatdown.

More of Piper/Flair.

US Title: Scott Steiner vs. Scott Norton

So apparently the Black and White can just make US Title matches at their whim. Steiner is defending of course. After the champion finishes posing, the battle of clubbing forearms begin. Norton runs the champ down with some shoulders and a big clothesline sends him outside. More stalling ensues until Norton drags him back into the ring for some right hands in the corner. Steiner finally sends him to the floor and then into the barricade.

Back in and Steiner gets his required steroids chant. Steiner charges into a boot in the corner and Norton hammers away before getting two off a side slam. Norton loads up the shoulder breaker but the referee gets bumped. A low blow and belly to belly suplex retain Steiner’s title. Steiner’s feet on the ropes helped too.

Rating: D. I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be much of a power brawl. Norton was wrestling like a face here and it worked on a kind of weird level. Steiner’s mega push continues as his in ring ability continues to deteriorate every single week. Granted putting him in there with a one dimensional guy like Norton wasn’t the best idea.

DJ Ran AGAIN. We get it already.

Kevin Nash vs. Ric Flair

Before the match, Nash promises to get revenge on Page for Hogan. Naturally Robinson, with what looks like a Horsemen sticker on his shirt, is refereeing. Nash shoves Flair down before the bell and Flair is ready to go. Flair tries some shoulder blocks to as much success as you would expect. Back up and Nash knees him into the corner and nails the backdrop. Nash even mocks Flair slicking back his hair as Ric bails to the floor.

Naitch slows things down a bit so Nash busts out a headlock of all things. They trade shots in the corner and there’s another backdrop to Flair. A big shot in the corner gives us the Flair Flop and there’s the framed elbow. Anderson finally gets involved by tripping up Nash and helping Flair crotch him against the post. Back in and Anderson just gets in the ring to help Flair double team. We get the old “how much time” bit from Flair and Nash goes down to a low blow.

Flair hammers away in the corner while calling Nash Tennessee. Anderson interferes again but Nash comes back with a right hand and the side slam. Flair heads to the apron and gets clotheslined out to the floor. For some reason he tries to come back in off the top and you know what’s coming. Anderson tries to come in but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. There go the straps and Flair gets powerbombed, sending Robinson to the floor instead of counting. Gorgeous George comes out and takes his referee shirt to count the pin on Flair. Because that’s how WCW works anymore.

Rating: C-. It was Flair vs. Nash so you knew it was going to be at least watchable. The overbooking made sense here and Robinson just walking out was a nice touch. The ending on the other hand was stupid but exactly what you would expect from WCW at this point: someone just deciding they’re a referee and having their pin count. I mean, people can make US Title matches so why not this?

Post match Flair is taken out on a stretcher by people in white coats. Yep, they’re really doing this. Piper shows up to talk some trash as Flair is loaded into the van. Somehow Anderson doesn’t get what’s going on.

Dusty Rhodes joins commentary for no apparent reason.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Goldberg

Page is defending of course. The referee gets shoved down and we’re ready to go. Page charges at Goldberg and gets shoved down as well. Back up and Page is thrown to the floor where he stops to take a breather. He gets back in and tries the Diamond Cutter but is quickly sent back to the floor. A leg trip doesn’t even get one on Goldberg who hits a kind of AA into a cross armbreaker, sending Page into the ropes.

Page’s shoulder block has no effect and the spear connects out of nowhere. He goes to pick Page up for the Jackhammer but the champ sends him face first into the middle buckle instead. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Page and a belly to belly suplex gets the same. Goldberg gets caught in a front facelock but he powers up into a kind of powerslam for two. Another Diamond Cutter attempt is countered into another powerslam and Goldberg is getting frustrated.

Page neckbreakers him for two but misses the discus lariat. A superkick puts Page into the corner and Goldberg loads up the spear but the champ is smart enough to just stay right where he is. Goldberg tries the spear anyway and hits the buckle. The Diamond Cutter connects but Goldberg kicks him off hard enough to send him onto the referee. Page loads up a foreign object but stops to use the referee as a shield for the spear.

The Jackhammer connects but there’s no referee. Page gets up and nails Goldberg with the foreign object to knock him out to the floor. He loads up the steps next to Goldberg and crushes the ankle with a chair. The referee wakes up and tries to stop Page, earning him a right hand to the face. Page loads up the Figure Four around the post but Nash makes the save for no apparent reason other than the script says so. He helps Goldberg into the ring but Page nails Nash with the belt to end the show.

Rating: C+. This was actually a good match until the screwy ending. These two have some solid chemistry together and can put on a good match with the right amount of time. Goldberg kicking out of the Diamond Cutter as strong as he did was a surprise and the ending was…..well I’ll get back to that. The match was good though.

Overall Rating: C+. You know if you just go by the wrestling, this was one of the best Nitros in a very long time. The Cruiserweight Title match was outstanding and the main event was solid too. You couple that with some other good to watchable stuff in between and write off the non-wrestling that was Hak vs. Knobbs and you have one heck of a show.

Unfortunately this heck of a show has an 800lb gorilla right in the middle of it and a 300lb orangutan at the end. We’ll start with the slightly better one first. Page and Nash’s double turn is acceptable as Nash has basically been a face for months now and Page….yeah it really doesn’t work. Much like the Flair stuff, it was just setting down its roots when they jumped it forward to the end goal.

One of WCW’s biggest problems at the moment is its lack of top faces. There’s Sting, Nash, Piper (oh joy) and in theory Savage, though he’s just a glorified manager right now. Nash becoming the top guy is fine enough, but it brings up the obvious question: if he wins the title, why should I believe he’s going to hang onto it? It may sound like a stupid question but the Fingerpoke was less than four months prior to this. It’s not out of the question.

That leaves us with the big problem with this show: Ric Flair, the fourteen time World Heavyweight Champion and the President of WCW was put in a white van and taken away to a mental hospital after apparently thinking he was President of the United States due to what could easily be written off as a slip of the tongue. Aside from what was just mentioned, the fact that it sets up Piper vs. Flair in 1999, how out of character it is for Flair and how much of a stretch this is, it’s not even a well told story.

From what we can tell, David Flair and Piper decided to have Flair institutionalized because he signed a single contract for a match without looking at it. Yeah it’s stupid but it’s not really grounds for being institutionalized. Just writing that and reading it back makes me realize it’s even worse. Ric Flair is being put in a mental hospital. Let it sink in for a second. This is a really bad idea and unfortunately it’s the first step off a cliff for WCW. Things were getting stupid before, but now they’re flying into the abyss.

Somehow though, the show was actually good for the most part. The Flair/Piper stuff is horrible but it’s only a part of what is otherwise a really good show. That’s what makes WCW so frustrating: they have the tools and ability to have a good product, but they do things like have a DJ in the arena (because I guess a professional wrestling show just isn’t entertaining enough) and the hardcore nonsense drags all the good stuff down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Now don’t laugh. Today is Hugh Morrus.

Morrus got started in 1990 and eventually started the gimmick of Crash the Terminator. He would wrestle in the original ECW for a bit around this time, including this match at Ultra Clash 1993.

Headhunters vs. Crash the Terminator/Miguel Perez Jr.

The Headhunters are two big fat guys that look alike from Puerto Rico. Migues Perez was one of Loc Boricuas. Crash is more commonly known as Hugh Morrus or Bill DeMott. THIS is the main event? There are baseball bats involved here somehow but I can’t understand the ring announcer. There’s something about counting from ten to zero. Ah ok. The bat is in the ring and we start at opposite sides of the ring. At the end of the countdown you rush the ring and whoever gets the bat first can use it. That makes sense.

Perez gets it and hands it to Crash. Shouldn’t a bat to the back half kill you? Joey busts into a chorus of Take me Out to the Ball Game in a funny line. It’s another brawl where we can’t see anything. Crash went through a wall. Miguel takes like five bat shots and is fine. There’s a HUGE hole in the wall where the other two went through it. Ok the bat shots are just stupid now as there have been at least thirty combined of them.

The referee just strolls around the ring out of boredom which is funny for some reason. Perez misses a Lionsault so bad that it makes Starship Pain look perfect. Miguel and a Headhunter (Joey doesn’t know their names either and they’re more or less identical) go up the scaffold. Everyone misses a top rope move as the scaffold means nothing apparently. A Headhunter hits a moonsault to end this insanity. This was for a Japanese tag title apparently. Thanks for letting us know that.

Rating: D+. Just pure insanity but since I COULDN’T SEE MOST OF IT I can’t say it was good. ECW always had a big problem with their camera work and this was no exception. You couldn’t see anything and the match is completely uninteresting because of it. The bat stopped being important about three minutes in and then it was just pounding on each other. Odd choice for the main event too.

It was off to WCW after this with the new name of Hugh Morrus. One of his first matches was on WCW Pro, December 30, 1995.

Hugh Morrus vs. Terry Morgan

Morrus runs him over to start before planting Morgan with a powerslam. A sitout powerbomb ends Terry in less than a minute.

We’ll up the opposition a bit. From Nitro on February 5, 1996.

Kevin Sullivan/Hugh Morrus vs. Arn Anderson/Brian Pillman

Before the match we get a clip of their brawl the previous week. Sweet goodness I could listen to that Horsemen music for a long time. Bell rings after a break with Morrus vs. Pillman. I think this is Pillman’s last Nitro. Bischoff points out how scary it is to have Anderson be the sanest guy in the match. Pillman can’t hurt Morrus as this was when they wanted Morrus to be something special I think.

Big press slam puts Pillman down and the same goes for Anderson. We hear about the strap match on Sunday. I’ll post my review of the PPV at the end of this review. Make sure to check that out as it might be the most bizarre stories in wrestling history. Off to Morrus vs. Anderson and Anderson hits a spinebuster for no cover.

Pillman comes in, slaps Morrus and then tags in Anderson. I liked his insane bits back in the day like this. Anderson with a chinlock now as we haven’t had Sullivan in here for the majority of the match. Back off to Pillman and then right back to Anderson. Other than the opening I don’t think the Pillman has been in there longer than 15 seconds.

It’s been about 85% Horsemen here and Morrus is sent to the floor. Pillman sends him into the railing and the laughing dude is starting to laugh. Bischoff says we’re awaiting word from the coroner for word about Hogan and his eye. I give up. Sullivan vs. Pillman now and the fight is on. Sullivan bites his face and wants blood. Anderson saves his partner and Anderson gets a broom broken over his back by someone we can’t see. The Dungeon (Morrus/Sullivan) beats on Pillman with the strap for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Basic brawl for the most part but the Sullivan vs. Pillman was interesting to say the least. It was some of the best acting that has ever happened in wrestling and evolved into Benoit vs. Sullivan. This feud went on forever and thankfully the NWO came in to end it. Basic match but it set up the PPV match well enough.

Now for a big singles match from May 6, 1996 on Nitro.

Hugh Morrus vs. Randy Savage

We’re already talking about the PPV in August of all things. No one ever said that Bischoff didn’t push his ideas. Morrus jumps Savage on the floor and the fight is on early. He controls early as Savage is in trouble. Morrus (Bill DeMott) puts the hat and glasses on and even the jacket just to make sure he’s going to die. Savage snaps (into it) and choeks Morrus over the top with the jacket and it’s a DQ very quickly.

Off to PPV now for a gimmicky brawl. From Souled Out 1997.

Big Bubba vs. Hugh Morrus

This is Dungeon vs. NWO as Bubba jumped so the Dungeon is after him. This is a Mexican death match despite the lack of Mexicanocity. No intro for Morrus at all. Morrus looks like Big Dick Dudley. Ok then. The whole death match aspect here is never really explained but whatever. Morrus hits a clothesline to put Bubba on the floor.

Bubba finds a chain from somewhere and whips Morrus with it. We’re told that a Mexican Death Match means anything goes. No Laughing Matter hits and of course no cover. Oh ok it’s more or less last man standing. Patrick counts as slowly as possible so Morrus gets after him.

Boss Man gets back up and does nothing but really basic punches and strikes. Morrus just blasts him with a low blow and Bubba heads out for a walk. We go to the stage where Morrus misses a moonsault, which was completely messed up anyway so they would have been on top of each other. Bubba grabs a motorcycle and runs down Morrus Rikishi style to of course end it.

Rating: D. Kind of just a brawl here with Bubba not doing much at all. Naturally this had no point and would only be on this PPV and this one alone. This went nowhere and the ending was really stupid. At least it was short. Whenever we get to that point it’s never a good sign.

Morrus would continue to feud with the Horsemen, including this match on the March 24, 1997 episode of Nitro.

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus

Brawl to start as Tenay says this is a real life feud with Benoit vs. Sullivan. Morrus hits a gorilla press on Benoit followed by a running corner splash. We get what sounds like a MORRUS chant. Benoit comes back with a release German but Konnan shoves him down when he’s loading up the Swan Dive. No Laughing Matter gets the quick pin.

It had to start somewhere. From Nitro on September 22, 1997.

Bill Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Tenay has no idea who Goldberg is, shocking the other announcers. Larry: “YOU DON’T KNOW?” They trade hammerlocks to start and seem to miss each other a bit. Goldberg takes him down into a knee bar and pounds away in the corner. Morrus comes out of the corner with a middle rope clothesline and No Laughing Matter hits….for two? Goldberg pops up from a shoulder block and hits a powerslam and a regular slam to follow it up. The yet to be named Jackhammer ends this quick. As Goldberg says after the match: “That’s #1”.

Here’s a match with a guy that would be a much bigger deal a year later. From Nitro on December 1, 1997.

Wrath vs. Hugh Morrus

Feeling out process to start with both guys trying to show off the power. Morrus takes over for a bit but Vandenberg trips him up, allowing Wrath to knock Hugh to the floor. Wrath hits a sweet flip dive off the apron to take Morrus down and we go back inside. A top rope clothesline gets two for Wrath as we see Mortis wrap a chain around his boot. I think you can see the rest of this coming: Wrath holds Morrus for a kick with said boot but gets blasted in the head himself, allowing Hugh to hit No Laughing Matter (moonsault) for the fast pin.

Off to Thunder on June 24, 1998.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hugh Morrus

Guerrero is still looking over his shoulder for his crazy nephew and Morrus pounds away on him to start. Eddie finally gets away for a bit and dropkicks the knee out before hitting a nice headscissors. The fans chant for Chavo and Eddie freaks out but stays on the knee like a good villain. Morrus makes his comeback with a quick slam but misses an elbow off the top. Chavo comes out to a big reaction and the distraction lets Hugh slam Eddie off the top and hit the moonsault for the pin. More storyline development though the same thing we got on Nitro.

Morrus would get in the middle of a long feud on Nitro, February 22, 1999.

Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus

Ralphus is now in a blue dress with a bit lower neckline. Before the match, Jericho implies that Saturn is gay because he wears the dress despite not having to anymore. They hit the floor for a chase right after the bell before Morrus slams Jericho down. A delayed gorilla press puts Jericho on the mat again as Steiner vs. Goldberg is official for later.

Morrus misses a top rope elbow and goes outside, allowing Jericho to nail a top rope cross body to take out Hugh and Jimmy Hart. Some flowers to Morrus’ back put him down and we hit the chinlock inside. A slap to Morrus’ chest wakes him up and Heenan is in full comedy mode about Ralphus. Morrus does the Jericho strut but Chris kicks the leg out.

Back up and Morrus counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb before nailing a running splash in the corner. Jericho avoids a charge in the corner and rolls him up for two with his feet on the ropes. Ralphus tries Morrus but Saturn comes out and strips the dress off the toothless wonder. Saturn goes in and hits Jericho with a Death Valley Driver, allowing No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a recent change to WCW and it’s getting annoying: long matches to set up a quick finish. I like long wrestling matches when they’re entertaining, but I can do without nine minutes of Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus when we know Saturn is comingout due to Jericho’s earlier comments. The same thing was true of Kaz vs. Disco. It wasn’t entertaining but we had to sit through it forever anyway. I shouldn’t be able to make a sandwich during a Kaz Hayashi match.

From a week later.

Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn hammers away to start but Jimmy Hart trips him up to give Morrus control. Tony announces Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Windham/Hennig vs. Malenko/Benoit for Uncensored. Morrus charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn suplexes him down. A Fameasser puts Hugh down but another Hart distraction lets Morrus nail a clothesline. Back in and Morrus gorilla presses him down for two before cranking on a chinlock.

A clothesline gets two more for Morrus as the fans are just dead here. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Morrus goes up, only to jump into a northern lights suplex for two. There’s a t-bone suplex to put Morrus down but Chris Jericho comes out with I think a chain to lay Saturn out. No Laughing Matter gives Morrus the pin.

Rating: D. What a dull match. I have no idea why they started doubling the length of TV matches but it’s very annoying when they have boring matches like this filling in all that time. This really didn’t work as about three minutes were spent in a chinlock. The Jericho vs. Saturn feud needs to die already.

Morrus would hook up with Brian Knobbs as part of the First Family at Fall Brawl 1999.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.

Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?

Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.

The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.

Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.

After taking several months off at the end of the year, Morrus would return as Captain Rection of the MIA. Here he is on Nitro, July 24, 2000 in a mess that only WCW 2000 could produce.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Rection would go after the US Title and receive a shot at Halloween Havoc 2000.

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

He would try to get it back at Mayhem 2000.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. General Rection

They take Bigelow out while Storm comes out. Nice guys there. Gunns looks great at least. Storm says he’s fighting hurt which no one believes. Storm is champion here. We get a Rocky Horror reference for no apparent reason at all. And to the shock of no one that has paid attention to this company, Bigelow pops up and drills Rection from behind and of course he’s fine. Reason for this? Who cares? Logic behind this? Not important. IT’S A SWERVE!

Stevie says it’s coming together now. What the heck is coming together??? How in the world does this make sense? What does Bigelow have to do with the Canadians? I’d assume he was paid off or something but why should we need to be told that? Storm works on the head. Uh make that the ribs. Or maybe the knee. And so much for that as Rection sends him into the railing to break the momentum.

And so much for THAT as Storm kicks him in the knee to take over again. Storm goes for the Maple Leaf back in the ring but can’t get it on before the General gets to the ropes. They really tried to push Rection at the very end but at the end of the day his name was General Rection so no one bought this. Rection tries to make another comeback but the second best superkick in wrestling takes him down.

Rection gets a powerslam and Gunns crotches him as he goes up for the moonsault. And never mind as he just gets up and hits it anyway. Rection hit two offensive moves and the moonsault is a BIG stretch as it was more or less a headbutt with a twist. This might be the weakest feud ending win for a face that I have ever seen.

Rating: D. Major Gunns looked good in those tight shorts and that’s about it. They cut the legs out from under Rection here as he was DOMINATED and got taken down by Storm time after time again. This was just awful with Storm looking completely dominant. There was about five minutes missing here but we got the Mancow vs. Hart match baby!

Morrus would head to the WWF during the InVasion but wouldn’t do much. Here’s one of his few Raw matches from August 20, 2001.

APA/Scotty 2 Hotty/Big Show/Spike Dudley/Billy Gunn vs. Dudley Boys/Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire/Hugh Morrus/Tommy Dreamer

There are twelve in this if you don’t feel like counting. Farrooq vs. Palumbo to start things off. Quickly off to Sean and Scotty. I wouldn’t expect any long segments in this match. Morrus and Dreamer try to double team Hotty but get taken down by a double clothesline. Here’s Gunn who gets caught in What’s Up but the APA saves. Bradshaw pounds on Tommy and Spike adds a double stomp off the top.

Dreamer catches Spike in a half crab but it’s off to Bubba for some power. A HUGH double flapjack gets two for D-Von. Morrus comes in and walks into a Dudley Dog. Show comes in and everything breaks down. It’s finishers all around for the next minute or so, ending with Show killing Dreamer with the chokeslam for the win.

Rating: C-. This was a big mess but the parade of finishers is always fun to see. It makes no sense as why wouldn’t they use those all the time, but it’s always cool to see. This was really the only way to get most of the people on the roster onto the shows, especially before the Brand Split, which really was a good thing.

The InVasion didn’t have much for Morrus so we’ll jump ahead to June 1, 2002 on the Saturday night Velocity show.

Hugh Morrus vs. Albert

Albert hammers away to start and runs him over with a clothesline. Morrus fights back and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a bicycle kick to lay him out. We hit an abdominal stretch of all things on Morrus but Albert gets caught holding the ropes. Morrus makes his comeback with a shoulder block and a release German suplex for two. A top rope elbow gets the same for Morrus but he misses the moonsault. The Baldo Bomb is enough to give Albert the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad power match here but the abdominal stretch felt like Albert was trying psychology but had no idea what he was doing. Morrus continues to move around far better than someone of his size should be able to. Albert’s push was coming and a name change to A-Train helped a bit.

We’ll wrap it up with Morrus, now under his real name of Bill DeMott, facing the debuting Nathan Jones on Smackdown, April 10, 2003.

Bill DeMott vs. Nathan Jones

The massive Jones shoves him into the corner with ease but DeMott shouts that this is his show. Jones easily throws him out to the floor, brings him back inside and ends him with a big boot.

Morrus was a fairly talented big man who would fine his real niche as a trainer on Tough Enough and down in NXT.  No he wasn’t a huge star, but to go from a guy named Hugh Morrus to a two time US Champion is quite the accomplishment.  He had a good moonsault and looked tough enough (see what I did there?) and WCW took a small chance on him.  Morrus wasn’t great or anything but he did well enough.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we’re going to look at a technician whose son is far more famous than he is: Bob Orton.

Bob got his start in 1972 but we’ll pick things up in Mid-South in 1981.

Mississippi Title: Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Garvin

Orton is defending. Garvin takes him down with a wristlock to start followed by a headlock on the mat. These guys look a lot alike from behind so it’s kind of hard to tell them apart. Back up and Orton misses a dropkick and Garvin headlocks him out of the corner to maintain control. They get back up again with Orton hammering away to take over. Garvin whips him into the corner and nails a backdrop, only to have the corner headlock countered into a belly to back suplex. Bob hits a middle rope elbow followed by a piledriver to retain.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the time hurt them a lot. I did like the psychology near the end with Orton catching on to the earlier headlock and countering to take over. The piledriver wasn’t bad and the match did what it could in the time they had. Garvin was just a guy at this point and not the bigger deal he would become later.

Orton would head to the WWF and get a World Title shot in Philadelphia on May 22, 1982.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

Orton would jump to the NWA and appear at Starrcade 1983 as one of Ric Flair’s cronies.

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

It was off to the WWF soon after this, including this match at the Brawl to End It All.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine was a much bigger deal back in this era, even “being awarded” the WWF Title once in a big mess that was a pretty decent story. Anyway let’s get to this. We get promos from both guys. Valentine says Hogan is going to feel his wrath. There’s a reason he rarely talked. Albano is his manager. This guy was BUSY back then.

Hogan had only been champion about 6 months at this point so his title reign wasn’t really huge yet. Eye of the Tiger for his music at this point along with the white tights. Sweet GOODNESS Hogan is over. The song fits perfectly here, almost better than Real American. What was up with the five bell strikes after everything Fink said? Hammer jumps Hogan and we’re on.

Oh come on it’s 1984 like that’s going to work at all. This is Hogan back when he was in his 20s so he’s moving incredibly well. Scratch that actually as he’s 31 here. It’s so weird to think that his big break didn’t come until he was that old. It just comes off as strange in today’s era of people being world champion by their mid 20s.

Valentine reverses a headlock into a suplex to take some control. Hogan takes back over a bit later with just pure power. He even throws in a shoulderbreaker to mess with our heads a bit. We hit the floor and it’s all Hogan. Valentine jumps him as he gets back in and Gene says it’s because Valentine is a capitalist. Ok then.

A chinlock has our hero in trouble. Hogan does the always funny finger shake of no before the comeback. He throws some left hands which are weird to see from him. Valentine gets some chair shots to the knee and the referee is ok with it I guess. Figure four is blocked twice so Valentine just punches him. Rather than Hulking Up Hogan just hits Valentine as he’s coming off the top and drops the leg to retain. It was a different time I guess.

Rating: C+. Nothing that special here as it’s really just a standard Hogan title defense. It’s not bad or anything but it’s just Hogan out there doing his thing and not really looking like he’s in that much trouble. Still though he was moving very well out there and had the place rocking so I’ll give him something for that. Decent match and fine for a basic title defense.

Here’s a match from August 10, 1984 against a fellow legend.

Pat Patterson vs. Bob Orton

Orton jumps him at the bell and takes over before dropping a knee for two. Patterson quickly fights out of a chinlock and catapults him into the corner. We actually get a bit violent as Patterson wraps the leg around the post a few times. Back in and we hit the Figure Four but Orton makes the ropes after just a few seconds. Orton is limping around now and stalls on the apron for a breather, only to get caught in a knee crusher. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Orton hits a big backbreaker for two. Pat grabs a quick rollup but Orton reverses into one of his own and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. This started off slowly but it got better as things went on. Patterson was clearly nearing the end of his run here and would actually be done as an active competitor in less than two months. Orton was getting better at this point and wins like this would help him gain credibility with the crowd.

Orton would be involved in the main event of Wrestlemania as a manager. This led to him getting his own World Title shot at the first SNME.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his head kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself. Orton was a talented guy and a good option for something like this.

Take two guys, let them have a great match. From July 20, 1985, I believe in Toronto.

Bob Orton vs. Ricky Steamboat

This looks like Toronto. Steamboat goes after the bad arm which is a very slow healing injury. Orton tries to kip up but can’t quite escape the arm hold. Steamboat slams him and we’re right back to the arm. Orton comes back with a beal and flying headscissors but misses a charge which sends him to the floor. Out there he throws a drink in Steamboat’s face but that’s not a DQ.

Orton takes over and hooks a cravate. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken but Steamboat can’t slam him. Orton hooks the chinlock on again and rubs the cast in his face. I love little things like that. Steamboat comes back with chops and heads to the top. The top rope cross body only gets two, probably putting Orton in a very elite club.

Steamboat gets thrown to the apron but he skins the cat and comes back with a shot to send Orton to the floor. He was always great at that bump. The Cowboy tries to suplex Ricky to the floor but Steamboat counters. They speed it up again and Ricky misses a splash. Orton loads up the cast and comes off the top with a shot to the head and that draws the DQ.

Rating: B. Two guys that are absolutely great getting a good deal of time in front of a hot crowd. What are you expecting but a solid match? Orton was great as a guy that could be thrown in there and be asked to give you a solid match. He’s kind of the Kofi of his day but as a mat guy instead of a high flier. You never get a bad match out of him and he’s always entertaining. Very fun match.

Time for some comedy at SNME #4.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. What else was there going to be with the Hillbilly stable? They never were anything but comic relief, though I don’t remember most people finding them funny. This just didn’t work and felt weak.

From July 26, 1986. How could this be bad?

Tito Santana vs. Bob Orton

This is around the time when Orton is siding with Adrian Adonis so he’s even more hated since it was arguable that Adonis was the most hated heel in the company (not top heel, most hated. There’s a difference.). Gorilla says Tito has Excellence of Execution. We’re in Boston again here. They exchange basic stuff to start and hit the mat. Clipped to talking about Terry Garvin and that’s not going to go well.

Orton hits a hip toss and a slow flying headscissors. He misses a dive in the corner though and kind of crotches himself. Tito sends him to the floor because he’s not a nice person at times. Back in a jackknife cover gets two for Santana. This is shaping up to be LONG. Tito throwing on an armbar would seem to confirm my theory. Clipped again to later in the armbar so you know this is going to last awhile.

Orton gets up and just pounds him down as the fans boo. Backslide gets one for Tito and it’s back to the arm. As the fans’ eyes begin to close, Orton finally wakes them up a bit with an atomic drop. His shoulder hits the post though and so it’s back to the arm. Bob sends him to the floor to make this slow down even more. Santana gets thrown into a barricade and knocks it over.

Tito gets draped on the rope coming back in and Orton walks around even slower. And now we go to a chinlock. Grrrrrreat. Thankfully Tito atomic drops out of it and they both fall down. And then Bob grabs it right back. Tito punches him down and grabs the leg. He works it over a bit and here’s the Figure Four. After Orton gets the rope, Tito sets for the headknocker but takes a head to the balls (at least it’s a complete set) and Bob takes over again. They slug it out and the bell rings for a time limit draw. Apparently this ran 30 minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s ok but that’s just it: there’s nothing interesting here at all. They do a little bit of something and then they do a little bit of something else. They repeat this for the twenty minutes that we see of it. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened here if this was shown in full. What does this prove to anyone? That’s why you don’t see many of these that often. Also, this is proof that simply going 30 or 60 minutes as so many old guys claim to have done, doesn’t mean it’s any good.

Time for a match that was years in the making. From SNME #8.

Roddy Piper vs. Bob Orton

Adrian Adonis attacked Piper earlier in the day apparently. Muraco is out at ringside too and is wearing a kilt for some reason. That’s inconsequential though as he’s sent to the back. Piper’s punches and fists are insanely fast. He looks kind of fat here for some reason. To end this very short match, Piper rams Orton into Hart for the rollup and the pin. This was all of two minutes long. Way too short to properly rate but it was just a brawl with punching and some other basic strikes so it would have been low anyway.

Orton would hook up with Don Muraco and open Wrestlemania III.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

Here’s a rematch from Superstars on August 17, 1987.

Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Non-title and Orton has Mr. Fuji in his corner. Orton takes Hulk into the corner to start but Hulk easily punches him out to the floor and over the barricade. Back in and Orton is whipped hart into the corner and Hulk drops a series of elbows. There’s a running clothesline in the corner and it looks like we’ve got a broken top rope. Orton nails a backbreaker and knees Hogan to the floor for a breather.

We take a break and come back with Orton dropping an elbow to the apron and hammering away at Hulk’s head. Off to the chinlock for a bit before another elbow drop gets two for Bob. Back to the chinlock followed by a knee drop for two. Hogan fights up and sends Orton into the buckle over and over but walks into a knee lift. Orton can’t go up though so a regular elbow gets two. Hulk Up, legdrop, we’re done.

Rating: C-. Standard Hogan match from the late 80s here in what was probably a dark match to close out a long TV taping. The match wasn’t anything great but the Hogan formula was used over and over again for a reason: it’s such a basic idea and it still makes for some entertaining matches.

It was back to the NWA for a bit for this match at Clash of the Champions VI.

Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch

Orton, managed by Gary Hart is another newcomer even though he’s been wrestling forever. Murdoch has been around even longer and is nicknamed Captain Redneck. They fight into the corner to start before trading fireman’s carry takeovers. Murdoch puts on a wristlock but Orton nips up and counters into one of his own. Dick comes back with another wristlock into a hammerlock before Orton counters into an armbar. Murdoch looks annoyed instead of in any pain at all.

We hit the five minute mark and we look at the legends looking bored in the audience. The hold is FINALLY broken and Orton drops a few knees. They slug it out in the only interesting part of the match so far. Murdoch dropkicks him into the corner and the fans are actually waking up a bit. Some hard elbows to the chest have Bob reeling and Murdoch easily blocks a superplex attempt. Dick loads up the brainbuster but Gary Hart reaches in and trips his leg to give Orton the pin in the same finish as Warrior vs. Rude at roughly the same time.

Rating: D. This was a horribly uninteresting match save for that little rush near the end. I get the idea of the match being old school, but it doesn’t make the match any more interesting here. There was no explained story here other than “they’re both veterans and a lot alike”, which isn’t enough to get me through six minutes of wristlocks.

Orton’s full time career was starting to wind down around this time but he would get on with the new UWF promotion. This is from some point in 1990/1991.

Sonny Beach vs. Bob Orton

Orton is with John Tolos and is a 247lb wrestler apparently. Hopefully this goes quickly. This was in the middle of an hour long show as this is listed as the next match. Beach is a surfer in case you didn’t get the idea. This channel has a really bad habit of cutting to a commercial out of nowhere where it seems like there shouldn’t be a commercial there. Yep I’m bored already, just like the fans here.

How much were these guys paid to show up I wonder. This just is boring to say the least. It’s just suck a basic match and the guys are so uninspired that it’s pathetic. WHO IN THE WORLD THOUGHT THIS NEEDED TWO COMMERCIALS??? Oh great now we’re on the floor to make this thing go even LONGER. And after FIFTEEN MINUTES of TV time, Steve Ray comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Foley is involved so it isn’t a failure. SWEET GOODNESS this was boring though. This Beach guy has been on every show and he’s just not any good at a ll. Orton was past his prime by about 5 years here and the whole thing was awful. Terribly boring match and I have no idea what they saw in Beach.

Orton would basically retire at this point, but would be brought out of retirement for Heroes of Wrestling.

Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Snuka

They say Orton is from Kansas City, Kansas even though it’s been Missouri his whole career. They say they’ve been excited for this match since the video of the poker game, meaning all of 3 minutes. Albano is stepping down as Commissioner after tonight. Good to know I guess. They do a long mat sequence which is the highlight of the match but gets an Orton is gay chant. Yeah because good wrestling is such a terrible thing to have on the card. Ok to be fair he does work the arm way too long, as in he does it nearly 5 minutes.

Nothing at all of note happens in this match, but it’s by far the least sloppy of them all. Snuka wins with a crossbody from the top. Why? You have one of the most famous finishers of all time and you use a freaking high cross body that they act like is the same thing as the splash. I don’t know what to even say to this.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was 11 minutes long. I think nearly half of that was arm work by Orton. Did any of that actually mean anything? Not at all of course as that would have been psychology and a good thing and we can’t have our HEROES do that. I still can’t get over the lack of the splash though. Who thought that was a good idea?

Orton would come out of retirement again to help his son in a war with Undertaker. From No Mercy 2005.

Undertaker vs. Bob Orton/Randy Orton

Both Ortons have to go in for Undertaker to win. Taker gets the full druid entrance as they bring out the casket. He then gets his own entrance to really fill in time. Taker controls with punches to start, knocking both Ortons around. Then the numbers take over so the Ortons control with punches. Now Taker comes back and knocks them both down. He manages to throw Bob in the casket but Randy throws Taker knees first into the steps.

Undertaker is put in the casket but gets out with, you guessed it, punches. Back in the ring and Bob is down in the corner. Old School is loaded up for Randy but Bob manages to crotch him. Both Ortons go up on the ropes and they manage a double superplex. Bob covers probably out of instinct. They keep trying to double suplex Taker into the casket but Taker counters into a double DDT.

Bob is thrown into the casket and Randy takes the snake eyes/big boot combo. Bob is out of the casket now and appears to have something in his hands. Oh it’s a fire extinguisher. Randy hits the backbreaker in the ring and we go outside. Randy jumps off the apron but gets rammed back first into the post. A big chair shot to the back puts Randy in and Bob gets caught in a triangle choke. Taker finally gets Bob in but Randy gets up and knocks Taker away.

All three are in the casket now as the younger guys stand up and brawl. Taker knocks Randy out and slams the lid on Bob. The announcers talk like that eliminates him but there’s been nothing that implies he would be until now. Randy low blows Undertaker and hits the powerslam. Randy opens the casket but takes a low blow as well. Taker pounds on him some more but Randy hits the dropkick and they go into the corner.

Randy, ever the idiot, puts himself in perfect position for the Last Ride. Tazz: “WHY DID HE DO THAT???” Last Ride kills Randy but Bob pops out of the casket with the fire extinguisher. A blast into the eyes by Bob allows Randy to hit the RKO. Bob tries to roll Taker into the casket but Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy pops up with the fire extinguisher to the head and Taker is knocked into the casket. He pulls Randy in with him and the lid closes, but for some reason that doesn’t end it. Not that it matters as Taker and Randy pop up seconds later and Randy hits him with a chair to win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a horrible match I don’t guess but it never got interesting at all. That’s what this PPV has been in a nutshell: not bad but nothing to get excited about at all. Cole declaring this the final nail in Undertaker’s coffin was laughable because that guy has died more times than I can count but he keeps coming back. Anyway, not bad but it lead to HIAC at I think Armageddon.

Bob Orton is the definition of a great technical hand that reached the peak of his career. There was no way he was going to become World Champion but he was awesome as a guy that a top star had to get through to get to the big villain. That broken arm gimmick could work like a charm if used today, but Orton made it as good as it could get. Unfortunately his son completely overshadows him because people have forgotten how good Bob was.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 8, 2014
Location: Baltimore Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the season premiere (code for a gimmick name to try and fight off Monday Night Football) and the show is actually kind of stacked. We have Jericho vs. Wyatt inside a cage and Orton vs. Reigns II, but there’s something else with an even bigger hype: Jerry Springer’s intervention with the Bellas, because WWE thinks it’s 1998. Let’s get to it.

The cage is lowered to open the show.

We get a Season Premiere video with the focus on Jerry Springer and then the two big matches.

Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt

In a cage and you win by pinfall, submission or escape. Bray says the town’s name again. Jericho hammers him down to start and catapults Bray throat before getting two off an enziguri. They slug it out in the corner but Bray pulls Jericho off the top to prevent an escape. A top rope shot to the head puts Bray down but Bray pops up and send shim into the cage. Bray splashes him against the cage and we take a break.

Back with Bray running Jericho over for two. He tries to climb but gets taken down in an electric chair drop. They slug it out with Jericho getting the better of it and taking Wyatt down with a bulldog. The Lionsault looks to set up the Walls but Bray kicks him off. Jericho sends him into the cage and dropkicks Wyatt’s head into the steel. Bray stops another escape attempt and they slug it out on the top rope until Wyatt superplexes him down.

Both guys are on the mat but Bray Spiders up and crawls for the door, only to get caught by the legs. Bray kicks him away again and hits a release Rock Bottom for two. He tries a catapult into the cage but Jericho catches himself on the ropes and tries to climb. Bray catches him again and hammers away on the top rope before nailing a top rope hurricanrana.

Jericho goes to the top of the cage but the Wyatts get in his way. Instead he goes back up and dives onto Bray but comes up holding his knee. Chris takes his knee brace and pad down but can barely get over to the door. Bray tries a charge but Jericho low bridges him into the steel. He’s still able to stop Jericho with shots to (the wrong) knee. They’re on top of each other half out of the cage and elbowing each other in the head. Bray finally starts hitting the correct knee and crawls over Jericho to escape at 17:00.

Rating: B. I was digging this one and it was almost all Bray’s work winning it. The Wyatts stopping the win was fine and Jericho caused the knee injury himself. The ending worked quite well and made sense so the whole thing was on. I’m assuming the knee injury writes Jericho off TV and onto his concert tour.

Bray slams the cage door onto Jericho’s knee to further the damage. He crushes it against the steps and takes him back inside for Sister Abigail.

Rollins and Kane are very excited about what they just saw when HHH and Orton come in. HHH wants to do something special tonight so Orton offers to do something to Orton that makes what happened to Ambrose look like a day at Sunday School. HHH gives him permission to do something.

Here’s Dolph Ziggler with something to say. Cole confirms Miz vs. Ziggler for Night of Champions. Ziggler talks about how big of a week it was in Hollywood last week with the release of all the personal photos. This gives us one of WWE’s favorite comic tropes: wacky wrestling photos!.

We get stuff like Miz wearing a facial mask and shaving his chest (JBL: “So who was taking the pictures?”) but Miz and Sandow interrupt. Miz rants about the invasion of privacy, with Sandow mimicking his hand gestures almost perfectly. They threaten to go after Ziggler so Dolph say she might as well show the last photo: Sandow tanning a less than clothed Miz. Sandow comes in and gets dropkicked and Zig Zagged while Miz walks away.

Paige/AJ Lee vs. Natalya/Rosa Mendes

Natalya takes Paige down to the mat to start and the Total Divas hit a double suplex on the Canadian. The idea here is that Natalya is mentoring Rosa, which I’m sure you know about after watching Total Divas last night. Pay no attention to the fact that the story would have started just after Wrestlemania but we’re just hearing about it now. Paige comes back on Rosa because she’s Rosa but misses a legdrop. Rosa won’t tag so Paige drives knees into her ribs. AJ grabs Paige’s hair for a tag and puts on the Black Widow to make Rosa tap at 2:36.

Post match the winners take turns kissing the Divas Title until AJ skips off.

We look back at the cage match and its aftermath.

Jericho is getting his knee looked at when Orton attacks him. “It’s the season premiere!”

Here’s Heyman for his weekly speech. He talks about walking through the valley of the Cenation, but he fears no thuganomics because he’s the advocate for Brock Lesnar. Heyman goes into his usual about Cena so here’s John to respond. The pose he makes on the stage with his hands on his hips really does make him look like a superhero.

Cena says that if Heyman wants to say something to his face, he’s right here. Heyman wants to give Cena some inside information: how to beat Brock Lesnar at Night of Champions. Cena says he knows how to do that already and it’s because of three simple words. Lesnar beat the Undertaker at Wrestlemania and we haven’t heard from him in six months. Then Lesnar beat Cena at Summerslam but Cena was ready to fight again. His three words are never give up and he hands Heyman a towel saying just that.

Heyman laughs and asks the fans if Cena just can’t help doing himself. He throws the towel down and says that’s Cena’s biggest problem: he lives to be John Cena. John is the kid that waits to come to the live events and chant LET’S GO CENA. But when Lesnar steps into the ring, he doesn’t hear anyone but the referee, Heyman, and his latest victim.

Paul has a gift for Cena tonight and tells him how to survive Lesnar: give in. Listen to those fans that chant CENA SUCKS and there’s no reason to fight anymore. Doesn’t Cena want to give in to that hatred when a fat unemployed man tells Cena that he sucks? Just one time doesn’t he want to tell them to shut up. Heyman offers to help Cena tell them to shut up and wants him to bust a rap on the fans.

Heyman demonstrates with some yo yo yoing and gets down on his knees to beg Cena to do it one time. He doesn’t need to sell his soul to the devil. All Cena has to do is forget this hustle loyalty and respect idea and then he can be the one that beat the 1 in 21-1. Or he can just be one of many victims that fell at Lesnar’s hands. Heyman gets in Cena’s face and says he believes in him, but Lesnar says Cena just doesn’t have it in him.

Cena actually goes to the ropes like Heyman wanted him to but comes back in. The dueling chants begin but Cena tells Heyman to shut up. Cena talks about how he’s not going to drop down to Heyman’s level to pop the fans in the second row and give them a reason to have a good laugh and then run back to the internet to tell Cena how much he sucks. Heyman lives in a world of “eat sleep conquer repeat” and he’d stab Lesnar in the back to get a chance to get himself forward.

Cena admits that Heyman is intelligence but he has no idea what it’s like to live a life with meaning. John’s world is “Eat, sleep, be John Cena, repeat” because that’s what he was born to be. He doesn’t want to change even if he could and loves to be the guy that makes that kid right there do his homework early so he can come here and cheer.

Cena does like being the guy the fathers come up to and say they don’t like him but thanks for doing right by his kid. He likes being the guy that a Make-A-Wish kid wants to spend the day with. He likes being the guy that gets to meet Purple Heart recipients on some Friday night who tell him that Cena inspires him and hands Cena the Purple Heart.

Now Heyman wants Cena to throw all that away to win one match. Paul backs off but Cena says this is what Heyman must love. This is the chance to get all that rage and hatred out of John Cena. John isn’t going to beat up Heyman here because it’s not worth it, but he’ll give Heyman one week to produce Lesnar for a fight. But if Lesnar wants another week off and let Heyman do his business for him then Cena is going to fight Heyman himself. Awesome exchange between two masters here.

Sheamus vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title. Sheamus elbows Rollins out to the floor where Rollins picks up the briefcase and lays it in the corner. Back in and a knee lift and suplex get two for Sheamus. The rolling fireman’s carry sets up a clothesline to put Rollins on the floor but here’s Cesaro for a distraction as we take a break.

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before Sheamus fights up with elbows to the ribs. He tries the top rope shoulder but only hits mat, allowing Rollins to put the hold back on. This time Sheamus fights to his feet and drops Rollins onto his back for another escape. A tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets two for Sheamus but Cesaro picks up the US Title for another distraction. Seth grabs a rollup for two and walks into another powerslam. Now Cesaro gets up on the apron, allowing Rollins to drive him into the buckle. The Curb Stomp gets the pin on Sheamus at 10:00.

Rating: C-. The Curb Stomp didn’t look good at the end but at least the win wasn’t clean. Sheamus vs. Cesaro is actually getting a build this time instead of just throwing it out there for a match. The problem is we’ve seen it so many times that it’s harder to care again. At least they’re getting a big stage for it.

Post match Cesaro does Sheamus’ pose and Neutralizes him.

We recap Henry and Rusev from last week.

Here are Lana and Rusev to make fun of the national anthem before having the Russian version played.

Video on NXT Takeover II.

Sami Zayn/Adrian Neville vs. Tyson Kidd/Tyler Breeze

Well this is a surprise. Sami snaps off some armdrags on Breeze to start before spinning him into an armbar. It’s off to Kidd for a chinlock before Breeze comes in with a series of forearms. A neckbreaker gets two on Sami and it’s back to Tyson for another chinlock. Sami jawbreaks his way to freedom and spins over for a hot tag to Neville.

The fans don’t seem to care that much but Neville’s rapid fire kicks wake them up a bit. A standing shooting star gets two and Kidd is sent to the floor for a big dive from Sami. Neville flips forward twice in a row and kicks Breeze in the head, setting up the Red Arrow for the pin on Breeze at 4:23.

Rating: C. Just a showcase match here to get people to watch on Thursday. No one really knew who these people were but the fans waking up for the offense from Neville is a good sign. I got to see Sami at a live event a few years back and he did the exact same thing. That’s the sign of talent and it was on display here.

Here’s Stephanie to talk about her history in this arena. She even fought her father in this building about ten years ago, but they’ve since made up. Now it’s time to bring the Bellas back together and there’s one man that could do just that. The fans chant for Jerry and here’s Springer himself. Springer recaps the Bella drama and brings out both girls for the big talk.

Brie blames Nikki for all the problems and uses the “died in the womb line” again, drawing the same dead silence it got the first time. Nikki talks about how tired she is of being a second class sister and brags about her show having such good ratings. Brie talks about how this started at Summerslam but Springer shows us a montage of them having very stupid arguments over petty things on Total Divas.

Nikki blames Brie for their dad leaving and we get quick videos from the parents saying they never knew Nikki was this unhappy. Brie tries to bring this back to wrestling stuff but drags it down again by saying she has their brother JJ in their corner. JJ is here of course (billed as JJ Garcia after Jerry called him JJ Bella) and has to come out to the Total Divas song. JJ tells Nikki to stop acting like a victim and the brawl is on. Nikki accidentally slaps JJ so Brie spears her down. The Bellas, Springer and Stephanie get in a big pileup as this just keeps going. Referees break it up and Springer is taken out on a stretcher.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores

Stardust takes Primo into the corner to start but the masked man knocks him outside. The Dusts tease taking a walk and get caught with a big double dive. Back inside and Goldust throws Diego into the corner before tagging in Stardust for Dark Matter and the pin at 2:10.

The Usos jump the Dusts on the stage, sending the golden ones running.

We get a tribute to Joan Rivers.

Adam Rose vs. Titus O’Neil

The guys slug it out in the ring as the camera stays on the bunny. Titus throws Rose down but goes after the Bunny who wants to fight. Slater misses a dive and gets superkicked by the Bunny, allowing Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:20.

The Bunny hits a Superfly Splash for good measure. Cole and JBL are STUNNED.

Roman Reigns has the antidote for the Viper and holds up his fist.

Video on Lesnar’s dominance of Cena.

Lesnar will be on Raw next week.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

This actually gets big match intros. Reigns punches him to the floor to start but Randy sends him face first into the steps for two. A quick suplex gets the same for Roman and he runs Orton over with a clothesline. Orton bails back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton holding Reigns in a chinlock before taking it outside again. Reigns fights back and rams him back first into the apron and barricade.

They head to the apron with Randy sending him into the buckle and nailing a superplex for two. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and nailing a Samoan drop for two. He hits the ropes but charges into a powerslam to give Orton a near fall of his own. The Elevated DDT is countered into the Apron Boot and the jumping clothesline gets two. Orton comes back with the backbreaker for the same but charges into a boot.

Reigns dives into another powerslam for another two and the second attempt at the Elevated DDT connects. The RKO is countered though and Roman nails a Superman Punch out of nowhere. Reigns can’t cover though so Orton calls out Kane and Rollins who bring security with them for the DQ at 20:24.

Rating: B. Nice long main event here and I kind of like the non-finish for a change. Reigns has already beaten Orton clean so there’s no need to see him do it again. The opposite is true for Orton as he has no need to lose twice in a row to Reigns. Also this helps to set up Rollins vs. Reigns at Night of Champions, though I’m not sure what Orton does at the show.

The guards are actually tech guys who lower the cage and lock it into place. Reigns fights back though and cleans house, leaving him alone with Orton and a chair. Rollins pulls a Jericho and dives off the top of the cage to take out Reigns but he might have hit the chair as well. Kane gets back in and sends Roman into the cage a few times before planting him with a chokeslam. Orton gets the chair and destroys Reigns while shouting that it isn’t Roman’s day. Rollins puts Reigns’ head on the chair and says that he made Roman. A Curb Stomp onto the chair ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show wasn’t great but this was a HUGE improvement over last week’s mess. First and foremost, they kept the Bellas to ONE segment instead of the five or so from last week. The Springer stuff was a waste of time but at least it was short. The main event felt big and the NXT guys were a nice treat. You couple that with a good cage match and the show was much easier to sit through. It wasn’t a great show or anything and cutting out an hour would have helped, but it’s good enough.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Chris Jericho – Wyatt escaped the cage

Paige/AJ Lee b. Natalya/Rosa Mendes – Black Widow to Mendes

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Curb Stomp

Sami Zayn/Adrian Neville b. Tyler Breeze/Tyson Kidd – Red Arrow to Breeze

Goldust/Stardust b. Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Diego

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Adam Rose b. Titus O’Neil – Party Foul

Roman Reigns b. Randy Orton via DQ when Kane and Seth Rollins interfered

Today is a guy who could have ruled: Ryback.

Sheffield started in 2004 and we’ll pick things up with him as OVW Champion on October 25, 2008.

OVW Title: Anthony Bravado vs. Ryback

No DQ. Ryback is defending after taking the title from Bravado last week and is basically the Terminator. Bravado is used to being the strongest guy around but can’t shove Ryback. His shoulder block has no effect so they fight over another lockup with Ryback taking over. A test of strength goes nowhere so both guys head outside to slug it out for a double countout.

Rating: D. This was a really quick feud as Ryback was taken down to FCW soon after this. They would have another match the next week where Bravado would take the title in a last man standing match. There isn’t much to talk about here as this was more angle advancement than anything else.

Off to FCW with this match on February 15, 2009.

Mia Mancini/Dylan Klein vs. Skip Sheffield/AJ Lee

Mancini is better known as Serena Deeb and Klein never went anywhere. The girls get things going and fight on the mat with Mancini taking over. Off to the guys with Sheffield cleaning house. Mancini slaps him in the face to break up the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder and Klein gets in a few shots to take over. We hit the chinlock on Sheffield before the guys fight to the floor. Mancini tags herself in but gets caught in a headscissors followed by a Shining Wizard for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 is good for the pin on Mancini.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick TV match but that’s almost all you can expect from something down in developmental. It wasn’t bad or anything but with just four minutes and a bunch of rookies, there’s only so much you can do. The girls were way ahead of the guys here, though Sheffield’s cowboy character never worked for him.

Sheffield would be one of the first rookies on NXT. Here’s his first match from NXT on March 2, 2010.

William Regal/Skip Sheffield vs. Matt Hardy/Justin Gabriel

The rookies start us off. Power vs. speed never stops working for me and this works just fine. Fujiwara armbar by Gabriel and here’s Hardy. Poetry in Motion to Sheffield as we take a break. Regal is in when we get back against Gabriel. Regal sends both Gabriel and Hardy to the floor as not a lot is going on in this match.

Sheffield is giving Regal advice which is rather amusing. Back to the power guy who struts before hitting a splash on Hardy. The fat of his stomach helps protect him I guess. Hardy gets beaten down for a good while. I’m sure he’ll blog about it later on and make a video under a false name.

Regal keeps the tag to Gabriel and yells at Sheffield to stop doing stupid stuff. Twist of Fate out of nowhere sets up the debut of the 450 which blew the LD to pieces when it hit. The match was boring but the ending more than made up for it I think.

Rating: C. The length hurt it here but the idea was to show that Gabriel could hit one big move and it worked very well. That’s still one of the best moves in the company nearly a year later and it worked very well here. Not a great match and the tag from last week was better, but this was a good debut for both of the rookies here.

And another on April 27, 2010.

Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan gets a running dropkick as Sheffield is reeling early on. A heel hook has Skip in real trouble. And never mind as Sheffield just beats the tar out of him and hits the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder to end it in maybe 90 seconds.

Sheffield would snap his ankle and be out for nearly a year. He would return as the unstoppable monster Ryback, who participated in a bunch of squashes, such as this one at Extreme Rules 2012.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.

His competition would pick up a bit on Raw, August 27, 2012.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.

Around this time Ryback would stand up to CM Punk, throwing himself into the main event scene. Here’s one of his bigger matches after that on Raw, October 22, 2012.

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Here’s Ryback’s chance at the title at Hell in a Cell 2012.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. CM Punk

I honestly don’t know who is going to win here and I love that feeling. The Goldberg chants start before the music hits. Ryback has a red singlet tonight. Not much of a pop for him though. The big match intros inform us that this match will indeed be taking place inside the Cell. You know, in case you’re REALLY FREAKING STUPID. The fans get fired up for the Feed Me More chant at least.

Punk immediately heads to the floor and we’re in the big Cell where there’s almost no room at ringside. Punk gets back in and immediately runs to the floor again. After almost a minute and a half Ryback gets his hands on Punk and chokes him in the air. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Punk is in trouble early. Punk gets a boot up in the corner but a tornado DDT is easily countered.

Punk is sent back to the floor where he tries to get out of the door. Ryback throws him into the Cell wall and then does it again. The Goldberg chants start up and Punk hides under the ring. Heyman distracts Ryback, allowing Punk to spray him with a fire extinguisher and knock Ryback into the cage. The champ finds a chair but Ryback knocks it into Punk’s head. Back in and Ryback hits a Warrior gorilla press drop.

Ryback misses a charge into the corner and Punk hits a springboard clothesline to take him down. A top rope double ax only kind of hits so Punk hits a second to stagger Ryback. A third attempt is caught in midair but Punk hits a leg lariat to take Ryback down again. Punk sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Ryback is slammed into the cage instead of being knocked down. Ryback easily breaks up a neckbreaker on the floor but his spear hits the steps.

Back in and Punk puts on a chinlock. We’re over eight minutes into this and it’s been pretty good stuff so far. Another Ryback charge hits the post and Punk smiles. Heyman: “HE’S STILL ALIVE!” Punk hits the running knee in the corner and a clothesline to set up the Macho Elbow for no cover. Punk brings in a kendo stick and mocks the FEED ME MORE chant.

Ryback Hulks Up and takes the stick out of Punk’s hands. Ryback is all fired up now and Heyman is panicking. The fans are getting into the chant now and there’s the Meathook (clothesline). Ryback loads up Shell Shock….and the referee hits Ryback low and fast counts a Punk rollup for the pin to retain at 11:45.

Rating: B-. This is one of those what the heck was that endings but it was a good match until we got there. I don’t like the screwjob ending and I wanted Ryback to win, but this sets up another match down the line I guess. I don’t recognize the referee but I’m sure we’ll find out who he was later on. The fans went silent after the pin which is a good thing….I think?

His rematch was in a triple threat match at Survivor Series 2012.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

Ryback was scheduled to face Punk for the title in a TLC match at TLC but Punk was legitimately injured. This was his other option.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

It’s a TLC match but you can win by pin/submission because there’s nothing to hang above the ring. Shield comes through the crowd of course. The brawl starts on the floor of course with Bryan vs. Rollins, Kane vs. Reigns and Ambrose vs. Ryback. Ryback and Ambrose get in the ring and the smart aleck fans just have to chant Goldberg. Shield gets Ryback 3-1 but he shrugs them off. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Rollins dropkicks it into the monster’s ribs.

Bryan takes a ladder to the face as well but here’s Ryback to beat them all up. Reigns takes Kane down with a chair but Kane makes the save. I think Ryback is busted a bit. Bryan kicks Reigns in the corner and the fans are WAY into Danny boy. Reigns is thrown into a ladder which gets two for Kane. Bryan saves Ryback and the fans want tables. Rollins jumps into a Kane uppercut for two before getting put inside a ladder. Kane beats on the ladder with a chair for a bit but Ambrose takes Kane out with a DDT onto the chair.

Ryback rams Rollins and Ambrose into the corner and there’s another Goldberg chant. The fans still want tables. Ryback blocks a beal into the ladder in the corner and pounds Ambrose and Rollins down again. A splash crushes both of them against the ladder, followed by a suplex from Ryback to put both of them on the ladder. Reigns breaks up the double Shell Shock and it’s another three on one beating. Where did HELL NO go?

Shield loads up the triple powerbomb….and it actually works. Seriously, no save from the champions until a few seconds later. Bryan goes off on everyone but gets caught in the numbers game. Kane finally comes back but gets beaten down as well. Back into the ring and it’s time for the chairs portion of the match. Bryan gets beaten down before being double superplexed off a table on the top. Kane barely makes a save but he gets beaten down by the chair as well.

Ambrose and Rollins try the double superplex on Kane as well but he shoves Rollins to the floor and clotheslines Ambrose down. The side slam puts Reigns down but Dean makes the save. Instead of I think a DDT on Kane though, it’s a chokeslam for Dean through the chair for two. Back to the floor and Reigns spears Kane through the barricade to a BIG reaction. Kane gets buried under a bunch of stuff, but in the chaos, Bryan grabs the NO Lock on Ambrose. He eventually gets it on all three guys but the numbers catch up to him.

Bryan fights back AGAIN with a bunch of kicks but eventually he falls prey to the Blackout (running curb stomp) onto the EDGE OF THE CHAIR from Rollins. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Ryback is up though and house is cleaned. Rollins is thrown onto Ambrose and it’s chair time for Reigns. Ambrose comes back AGAIN but gets speared down. There’s a Meat Hook for Dean followed by Shell Shock for two as Rollins saves. Ryback goes to the floor but gets caught by some chair shots. Ryback charges at Reigns to tackle into whatever is in his path in a cool visual.

The Shield and Ryback are all up by the entrance and Ambrose chairs him in the back to take him down again. They shove a ladder onto Ryback and destroy him with some chair shots and put him on a table. There’s a HUGE, as in bigger than the usual HUGE ladders, and Rollins climbs up. Ryback fights up though and Rollins is in trouble. Ryback throws Seth through a big stack of tables, but Ambrose and Reigns are double teaming Bryan in the ring. Reigns superbombs Bryan through the table for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: A. AWESOME brawl here with a great story being told throughout. Ryback gets two do the big spot to look strong and the Shield’s pack mentality worked very well too. Great match here and definitely better than I was expecting. Shield looked like they could more than hang in there, and that was the main thing they had to worry about. Great stuff.

Ryback would finally get this TLC match on Raw, January 7, 2013.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Ryback

TLC match which was supposed to happen last month but had to be changed due to Punk’s knee injury. The fans don’t seem impressed by Ryback at all here. Ryback shoves Punk around to start until we head to the floor where Punk kicks him in the head. Punk slides in a ladder but Ryback hammers on him before anything can be done. Back in and Ryback hits a delayed spinning suplex onto the ladder, sending the champion to the floor.

Punk almost gets crushed by the steps before using them as a launching pad to knee Ryback in the face. Punk chairs Ryback down a few times and we take a break. Back with both guys down in the ring and Ryback getting up first. Ryback loads up a table on the floor but Punk blasts him in the ribs with a chair and sets up a table of his own. Ryback shoves Punk onto the announce table but another chair shot slows him down.

Back in and Punk works over Ryback’s leg with a chair but can’t Pillmanize it. The jump off the ropes might have hurt the champion’s knee again. Ryback pounds away and hits the Meat Hook but Punk escapes the Shell Shock. They head to the floor and Ryback launches himself through a table by mistake. Punk climbs up the ladder but Ryback goes up to stop him, knocking the champ to the mat.

CM shoves the ladder over but Ryback lands on his feet. He picks Punk up and drops him onto the ladder, bending it to the point where it can’t be used anymore. Punk kicks Ryback in the head again to slow him down but can’t use the ladder to climb anymore. A knee in the corner slows Ryback down but when Punk tries the bulldog, Ryback LAUNCHES him to the floor through the table Punk set up.

Ryback finds another ladder and goes up but there go the lights. The lights come back up and the Shield is on the ladder. Ryback punches two of them down but has to get down to stop the third one. The numbers catch up with Ryback and he gets destroyed by chair shots and the Triple Bomb through a table onto the steps. The Shield leaves and Punk slowly climbs up to retain the title at 18:50.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what people expected, right down to the interference. Ryback continues to look like someone that can’t win the big one, which is why that pop he got at the beginning of the match might as well have been a group of mice cheering. We get it: Shield goes after Ryback. They’ve done that for months now and Ryback has lost to them every time. There were some good bumps in this but it was exactly the match you expected to happen.

After not winning the title, Ryback would turn heel after Wrestlemania XXIX and get another title shot at Extreme Rules 2013.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena’s ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there’s a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He’s up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.

Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It’s still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn’t that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.

Rating: B. That’s a pretty cheap (yet good looking) ending as Cena couldn’t keep Ryback down and now we’re going to get a rematch at Payback. It was certainly entertaining though, which is mostly because of how much more time it got than any other match. That’s the problem with a lot of the matches tonight: they’ve been WAY too short.

Here’s the rematch at Payback 2013.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. John Cena

The first fall is a lumberjack match with pretty much any wrestler you would name at ringside. Ryback powers Cena into the corner to start and counters the bulldog into a belly to back slam for two. Cena comes back with a fisherman’s suplex and some elbow drops as Cole talks about the “historic” extreme lumberjack match in 2006. Who even remembered that thing back in like 2007? It was against Sabu at Vengeance 2006 if I remember correctly but dear goodness who thought of that match and thought Cole should bring it up?

The AA is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two for Ryback. Cena is thrown to the outside and pummeled by the lumberjacks (JTG still has a job. Who knew?) before Ryback gets to destroy him a bit more. The lumberjacks get another crack at Cena but he gets back in fast enough to send Ryback to the lumberjacks as well. Ryback gets back in unscathed so Cena can initiate his finishing sequence, only to be sent into the other lumberjacks this time. Back in and Ryback is sent to the floor again but not touched this time either.

We get the required lumberjack brawl but Cena DIVES onto all of them at the same time in a huge crash. Back in and Cena hooks the STF but Ryback powers out and gets the Shell Shock for the first fall at 7:32. We’re at the tables match now with the lumberjacks all gone. Ryback immediately tackles Cena down and has early control of the second fall. Here’s the first table of the night but Cena escapes the powerslam. A spinebuster puts Cena down and the fans chant Goldberg.

Cena escapes a gorilla press into the AA but Ryback reaches down and flips the table over while still on Cena’s shoulders. We head to the floor and Cena is whipped into the steps to give Ryback control again. Ryback sets up the table in the corner before knocking Cena down with the steps in the ring. Cena staggers up next to the table but the steps go through the table instead of the champion.

Cena puts Ryback down with a belly to belly suplex and some steps to the head to put Ryback down. Here’s another table in the ring but Cena is placed onto it instead, only to get back off of it when Ryback drops the steps through the table. Ryback launches the steps at Cena but they go out to the floor, allowing Cena to hit the shoulder blocks and the Shuffle. Ryback comes back with a spinebuster and the Meat Hook before getting another table. The Shell Shock is loaded up but Cena counters into a quick AA to tie it up at 16:10.

The third fall is an ambulance match, meaning the first person to be placed inside an ambulance to the doors shut loses. Ryback takes Cena down 25 seconds after the AA and loads up the announce table. More Goldberg chants abound as Cena is powerbombed through a table. The third fall officially begins with Ryback dragging Cena to the ambulance, only to be shoved into it by the champion.

Cena pulls a crutch from the ambulance but Ryback knocks it out of his hands. A punch misses Cena and goes through the glass but Ryback doesn’t seem to mind. Cena rams him back first into the ambulance doors but can’t follow up. They open the driver’s door so Cena can whip Ryack into it so hard that the door breaks off. An ambulance door to the face staggers Ryback but he throws Cena into the front of the ambulance.

The bumper is ripped off the front of the ambulance and Ryback wraps it around Cena’s back. Cena blocks a powerbomb into a backdrop onto the hood and starts climbing up to the top. An emergency light to Ryback’s shoulder knocks him back to the floor but Ryback is right back up. Cena stares down at him and they brawl on top of the ambulance until Cena hits an AA through the roof to retain at 24:38.

Rating: B-. This was good but by the end it was a spot fest. It was certainly entertaining but I don’t think anyone bought Ryback as a real threat to the belt. The fact that he hasn’t won a major PPV match since at least August might have something to do with it but I’m not quite sure. It’s good stuff but nothing I’ll remember three days from now.

Here’s a one off match between two guys not in the show’s namesake match. From Money in the Bank 2013.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.

Ryback would help his mentor Paul Heyman in his war with CM Punk. From Hell in a Cell 2013.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.

Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.

Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.

Here are the former Heyman guys getting a Tag Team Title shot at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

Ryback and Axel would get another title shot on Raw, April 28, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

We’ll wrap it up with one more win for the team on Raw, July 21, 2014.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/Big E.

Ryback and Big E. get things going with Ryback hammering away against the ropes. Big E. runs him over but walks into a spinebuster and gets double teamed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Ryback and he throws Big E. down with a belly to belly. The Meat Hook is countered by a clothesline from Big E. and he makes the hot tag to Kofi. Kingston speeds things up and gets two off the SOS as everything breaks down. Ryback rolls through a high cross body and pins Kofi at 3:25.

Rating: C-. This was mostly Big E. vs. Ryback foa few minutes before the ending came out of nowhere. Big E.’s collapse continues and it’s really kind of sad to see. Kingston only got to jump a few times and it wasn’t much to see. At least they’re building up another team to fight the Usos.

Ryback is a guy that has talent but the run against Punk was doomed from the start as everyone knew that Rock was the one taking the title from him at Royal Rumble and everything else was just filler. He has the look and potential with a Goldberg style push, but once he had that first loss and was treated as just another guy, the magic was gone. That being said, he’s only 32 so it’s not like he’s out of chances to make it work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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His shirts and other gear is cheap as well. Even Eric Bischoff’s book was more expensive than this if that tells you anything.Grab this stuff while you can.

Today is a guy that I always liked as a kid: Van Hammer.

Hammer would debut in the summer of 1991 and be wrestling for WCW less than two months later. Here he is at Clash of the Champions XVI in his debut.

Van Hammer vs. Terrance Taylor

Van Hammer is a big muscular guy with a heavy metal guitarist gimmick in his debut match here. Taylor attacks Hammer before the match with York’s computer but there’s no effect at all. He slams Taylor down and hits a few clotheslines followed by a gordbuster (front suplex) and a top rope knee drop gets the pin in just over a minute.

Another match, same idea. From Halloween Havoc 1991.

Van Hammer vs. Doug Somers

Van Hammer has only been here about a month and we’re still in the squash period for him. Somers is yet another replacement, in this case taking the place of the injured Michael Hayes. The match barely breaks a minute and Hammer wins with a slingshot suplex.

Time for Hammer’s first and only good feud, starting at Clash XVII.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Hammer makes the mistake of turning his back on Cactus and getting knocked into the corner. Cactus screams a lot but gets caught in a belly to back suplex and knocked through the ropes to the floor. Hammer rams him into the barricade and takes him back inside for a slam and a two count. Jack comes back with a faceplant and the Cactus Clothesline (named for him as he hits a running clothesline to knock both he and his opponent over the top and out to the floor) to put Hammer on the floor.

An elbow off the middle rope to the floor has Hammer in even more trouble but he wins a brief slugout back inside. Hammer clotheslines him in the back of the head and there’s the top rope knee drop for a very close two. They ram heads and Jack falls outside where he grabs Hammer’s guitar and drives it into Hammer’s throat for the pin.

Rating: C+. It was short but the fans were into this. Hammer didn’t have a ton of skill in the ring but he was big, strong and charismatic, which was the perfect opposite for the deranged and bizarre Cactus Jack. These two would have a rematch next time to continue showing their strange chemistry.

Quick break from that for Starrcade 1991 and the Lethal Lottery.

Steve Austin/Rick Rude vs. Big Josh/Van Hammer

Austin and Rude are part of the top heel stable, the Dangerous Alliance, managed by Paul E. Dangerously. So yeah, in a competition designed to be “random”, we’ve had regular partners fighting in one match and teaming together in the second. Rude is US Champion and Austin is TV Champion here. Josh is a woodsman who used to have dancing bears with him. He’s another Jim Herd creation in case you were wondering. Van Hammer is a big power guy with a heavy metal (his nickname actually) musician gimmick.

Austin and Van Hammer get things going with Van Hammer slamming him down with ease. It’s so strange seeing the famously bald Austin with long blonde hair here. They trade kicks to the ribs before Van Hammer suplexes him down for two. Now we head to the mat and Hammer works on the arm after some surprisingly good amateur wrestling. Austin takes him into the corner for some forearms and it’s off to Rude for a hard clothesline.

They slug it out before Rude takes over with a knee to the ribs and tags off to Austin. Actually make that Rude again as Austin hits Hammer once before tagging back out. Off to a front facelock by Rude but Hammer charges forward and makes the tag off to Josh. He immediately stomps on Rude’s ribs but it has no effect because Rude’s abdomen is so heavily muscled. Instead Josh rams the Alliance’s heads together to send them to the floor. The crowd is much more excited for this one than the previous match.

Back in and Josh puts Rude in an armbar before putting Austin in one as well. Josh drops Austin throat first on the top rope and clotheslines him down for two before it’s back to Hammer for a hammerlock. Well that’s appropriate if nothing else. Back to Josh to crank on the arm a bit more, only to have Austin duck his head and send Josh into a clothesline from Rude. Rick comes back in with a chop to Josh’s head for two. The Alliance takes over on Josh with both guys making quick tags to keep the fresh man in.

Rude hooks a chinlock as Dangerously adds a distraction to let Austin cheat a bit. Off to a chinlock by Austin but Josh powers out and fires off some elbows. A slam puts Austin down but Josh tries an elbow drop instead of tagging, allowing the Alliance to maintain control. Austin misses a charge at Josh though and there’s the hot tag to Van Hammer. House is cleaned by Hammer but Rude makes the save. Everything breaks down and Rude gets a blind tag, allowing him to sneak up on Hammer and hit the Rude Awakening (neckbreaker) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Much better match here as they worked a basic tag team formula quite well. At the end of the day, it helps to have pure talent like Austin and Rude in there and the match was much better as a result. Hammer was VERY popular for awhile and this was right around the apex of his career so the crowd was into it as well. This could have easily been the main event of one of WCW’s weekend TV shows.

Back to Cactus at Clash XVIII.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Falls count anywhere which also means no disqualification. Hammer dives over the top rope to start and hits Jack with a running clothesline in the corner. He jumps off the middle rope but lands on a right hand for two. The Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside and Jack immediately covers for two. Cactus peels back the mats and tries the middle rope elbow but Hammer gets up so it’s a sunset flip for two instead.

Hammer is quickly back up and powerslams Jack down onto the ramp for a close two of his own. They fight up the ramp and Jack tries to hiptoss him out to the floor, only to have Hammer reverse into one of his own for a big crash. Hammer dives off the ramp with a clothesline for two and they go backstage as we take a break.

Back with the guys outside (and on tape instead of live) and Jack dropping a wooden barricade on Hammer for two. The fight goes over to a stable with Abdullah the Butcher appearing to help Cactus. Hammer tries to fight them off but Butcher hits him in the head with a shovel meant for Jack, giving Cactus the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a wild fight with some absolutely insane spots from both guys. The ending looked great too with the shovel shot sounding even more brutal its visual. Cactus was getting a great reputation as the wild brawler and would rise up the card for the next several years.

Another Lethal Lottery match at Starrcade 1992.

Van Hammer/Dan Spivey vs. Johnny B. Badd/Cactus Jack

Spivey is a tall blonde haired guy who isn’t great in the ring. Cactus and Van Hammer had feuded a bit back in 1991 so they get things going. As to be expected with a nutjob like Jack, he pounds away while screaming a lot. Van Hammer comes back with a clothesline and takes over using a variety of forearms and right hands. A legdrop connects but it’s quickly off to Badd. Johnny makes up for the purple trunks with a SWEET hurricanrana to slam Van Hammer’s head down into the mat. Back to Cactus for a hiptoss for no cover.

Off to Spivey who uses his powers of lumbering around the ring to take over. After some right hands and a clothesline to Jack it’s back to Van Hammer again. He gets to fight Badd, and of course by that I mean chase him around while Spivey cheats from the apron. Dan tags himself in and throws on a bearhug before it’s back to Van Hammer for a slam.

A belly to back suples gets two and it’s back to the cheater. Badd staggers Spivey with a dropkick and tags Jack in again as things pick up. Cactus screams a lot and pounds away, only to be caught by a flying shoulder for two. Badd misses an elbow drop as he tries to save, triggering a brawl with Cactus. Since Badd is a Golden Gloves champion, he knocks Badd into a rollup from Hammer for the win.

Rating: D+. This was pretty lame stuff as Spivey and Van Hammer are both big guys who aren’t all that great in the ring. Cactus was clearly something special and why he was put down in exchange for Van Hammer and Spivey is beyond me. Jack would have his day soon though as he would feud with Vader for most of 1993.

Hammer would leave soon after this and not appear for about five years. He would return in late 1997, with one of his first matches back being on December 22, 1997’s Nitro.

Chris Benoit vs. Hammer

Benoit’s run through the Flock continues but there’s no Raven again. Chris asks the rest of the Flock to get in the ring because Hammer is going to need all the help he can get. A quick dropkick to Hammer’s knee takes him down and Benoit chops away in the corner. Hammer is kicked to the floor and Benoit takes him down with a dive through the ropes. Benoit goes over and smacks Saturn in the head, allowing Hammer to take over with some sledges to the back. Hammer knocks him back to the floor but gets whipped into the apron. Benoit gets a chair and here comes the Flock for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but again this was about storytelling rather than the match. They’ve done a great job at setting up Benoit vs. Raven when it finally would happen, which for some reason wasn’t at Starrcade. Either way, this feud is making Benoit look like a star.

Hammer got the usual treatment of the times on Nitro, April 6, 1998.

Hammer vs. Goldberg

Nothing out of the ordinary here other than Goldberg hitting an Attitude Adjustment on Hammer. The spear and Jackhammer end this in about a minute and fifteen seconds.

Here’s something a bit better on May 18, 1998’s Nitro. Hammer was in the Flock at this point but had to defend his uh…..Flockdom I guess you would say against Saturn.

Saturn vs. Hammer

Kidman says this is a loser leaves the Flock match. Hammer sends Saturn into the steps to take over and gets two off something like an airplane spin. Saturn comes back with a superkick and some chops in the corner followed by a Cactus Clothesline to take both guys to the outside. We look at Raven’s dressing room to see the Flock watching the match. Saturn dives into a powerslam for no cover and a delayed superplex gets the same lack of cover.

Hammer goes for the legs but gets kicked into the ropes, setting up a top rope legdrop from Saturn. Saturn brings in a chair which is legal here it seems. A springboard dropkick using the chair knocks Hammer into the corner but a second attempt hits the referee. Saturn hits something like a Van Daminator and loads up the Death Valley Driver, only to have Kanyon come in dressed as a beer vendor. One beer case to the head is enough to knock Saturn out of the Flock.

Rating: D+. This was better than I expected and it’s nice to see the Flock have a story outside of whatever Raven is doing at the moment. Saturn leaving the Flock is interesting, but he’s always been the rebel of the group. Nice match here though and it should set the stage for more interesting stuff in the future.

Hammer would have some more luck on Nitro on September 14, 1998.

Alex Wright vs. Van Hammer

Van Hammer is now a hippie. He shoves Wright into the corner to start as Tony runs down tonight’s card. Alex grabs a headlock and stomps away in the corner before sending Hammer to the floor. Ernest Miller comes out and kicks Hammer in the head, drawing the DQ in a quick ending.

Hammer would return as a hippie in 1999 on March 8’s Nitro.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

Hammer takes him down to the mat with a headlock before we hit a test of strength. Bret grabs a wristlock but Hammer comes back with some very uninspired brawling. Hart of course comes back with a low blow because that’s as common as a headlock in this company anymore.

We hit the Figure Four on Van before Bret wraps the leg around the ropes. A backslide gets two for Hammer but Bret goes right back to the leg. He bends the leg around the post but Hammer counters the Figure Four around the steel. Back in and Bret gets suplexed followed by a cobra clutch slam for two. Hammer misses an enziguri and the Sharpshooter ends it.

Rating: D. WAY too long here for a Bret squash. Hammer was just a guy for him to beat up and the leg work got a bit boring after awhile. By the way, this match is pretty much meaningless at the moment as Bret isn’t even on the card Sunday. Why we’re spending ten minutes on a match that doesn’t build up Sunday is an interesting question, but it’s really low on the totem of things this show has done wrong.

Somehow he would get a TV Title shot out of all this at Bash at the Beach 1999.

TV Title: Van Hammer vs. Rick Steiner

Rick takes him into the corner and hammers away but gets taken down by a clothesline. Out to the floor and never mind as they’re back in a second later. Steiner hammers him down while selling nothing for the most part. Crowd is DEAD. Outside again and Van Hammer is sent into the railing. There’s a DDT on the concrete which should kill Van Hammer but since Steiner tries to pin him on the floor, this keeps going.

Back in now and Van Hammer gets some offense in but Steiner’s ego is threatened so he takes over again. He chokes away and now let’s go back outside again. Van Hammer gets a chair which Steiner FINALLY goes down from. Top rope clothesline gets two and I mean barely gets two. Steiner low blows him and bites Van Hammer in the balls. The bulldog ends this squash.

Rating: F. Rick Steiner in the late 90s was awful as he just refused to sell for ANYONE and was pushed with titles anyway. Having the video on Van Hammer made this look like it should have been a title change or at least a competitive match but since Steiner wouldn’t sell at all, this went nowhere.

Hammer would join the Misfits in Action as Major Stash. He wouldn’t last long in the group but here’s an eight man elimination match from Thunder on May 24, 2000.

Misfits in Action vs. Filthy Animals

That would be Captain Rection (Hugh Morrus), Corporal Cajun (Lash Leroux), Lieutenant Loco (Chavo Guerrero Jr.) and Major Stash (Van Hammer) vs. Konnan/Juventud Guerrera/Disco Inferno/Rey Mysterio Jr. These teams hate each other so the brawl is on in a hurry. The Misfits clean house and all four nail splashes in the corner. Major Gunns, a pair of implants and blonde hair, loads up a splash of his own but kicks him low instead.

We settle down to Chavo clotheslining Guerrera down and making the tag off to Cajun. Juvy flips out of the Whiplash (fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver) and moonwalks over to tag in Mysterio. A clothesline gets two for Cajun but Rey slides through the ropes and tags off to Guerrera for a sunset flip and two. Cajun loads up a top rope hurricanrana but Disco shoves him off to give Juvy a powerbomb and the pin.

Stash slams Disco down and gets two off a big boot. Guerrera comes in with a quick dropkick but gets caught in a bad looking cobra clutch slam for….one? Disco brings in a kendo stick for no apparent reason and hammers on everyone. Rey hits a top rope legdrop with a chair (the referee is fine with this) for the pin on Stash to make it 3-2. Wait what? Konnan is nowhere in sight and I don’t remember seeing him since the beginning of the match. Tony said it’s just Juvy/Rey/Disco for the Animals now so I guess Konnan is out.

Disco comes in and dances into a swinging neckbreaker to Guerrero. Chavo pops back up and nails a tornado DDT to pin Disco, getting us down to Morrus/Chavo vs. Mysterio/Guerrera. An inverted reverse DDT plants Guerrera and Morrus adds a moonsault to make it 2-1. This brings in Shawn Stasiak for no apparent reason to beat on Morrus, presumably DQ’ing Rey.

Rating: D-. This was a disaster and a great example of the problems WCW was having around this time. Konnan just left with no apparent reason and the rest of the mess had no structure or flow to it. There was no reason for this to be an elimination match and the stable wars didn’t work.

Van Hammer was never going to win Wrestler of the Year or anything like that, but he was big and fun to watch. Back in the early 90s he had a short run where he became the hottest star in the company. Unfortunately he was never given anything to work with (save for the Strongest Arm tournament win. It was arm wrestling people.) and the push completely died. His later stuff never worked though I was glad to see his returns.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Since they’re on the verge of death.  For roughly the 100th time in ten years.You often hear people comparing TNA to WCW and I don’t really get why.  In theory it’s because they’re the second biggest company in the country, but the situations are completely different.  Think about this for a second.

WCW has a basically unlimited budget.  They could pay for anything and anyone they wanted and never had to blink an eye.  They could routinely steal talent from WWF, whereas TNA has to pick up whatever released talent they can or sign someone from the indies.

TNA basically caters to the live audience.  Look at their ECW reunions to pop a big response from the fans in the arena and ignoring how the fans watching on TV feel about it.  It’s all about listening to the fans chant TNA instead of creating stars and making new fans.

The biggest thing of all though, and the hardest pill for TNA fans to swallow, they’re not competition to WWE.  At least not serious competition to WWE.  It’s as much competition to WWE as the Arena Football League is to the NFL.  WWE is so far and ahead of TNA that they can’t even notice them back there.  The other thing people so often overlook: other than a few weeks in 2010, WWE and TNA have never been in direct competition.  I can watch Raw, Impact and Smackdown without any scheduling conflicts or additional costs.  Other than their once every four month PPVs, TNA has nothing that directly challenges WWE, and if they tried, WWE would squash them like Barry Horowitz.

 

I could keep going for a long time, but the point should be clear.  TNA is much more like a modern day ECW than WCW as they’re basically a fly buzzing around WWE’s head instead of a tiger trying to kill them.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: April 15, 1999
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 9,429
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko

WCW is on a nice mini roll but they’ve long since lost me on believing this is going to last. The main story coming out of Nitro is Page vs. Nash being set up for Slamboree due to Flair making the match as well as Nash wanting to get back at Page for injuring Hogan. We don’t have much else on the horizon for the show yet but maybe we’ll get something tonight. Let’s get to it.

The announcers welcome us to the show and tell us about Mysterio vs. Guerrera for the Cruiserweight Title tonight. Works for me.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

The fans are into Buff so he does the Karate Kid pose and dances a bit to start. An armdrag puts Vampiro down and it’s time to dance some more. Buff blocks a right hand in the corner and nails Vampiro in the jaw. Vampiro comes back with a kick, headbutt and chop followed by even more strikes to Buff’s chest. Buff nails a quick dropkick and some punches in the corner, only to get hot shotted onto the top rope.

A middle rope spinwheel kick sets up a cross armbreaker on Buff. That goes nowhere so Vampiro goes back to the kicks to the chest to maintain control. Even more kicks, including one that looked rather low, sets upa chinlock on Bagwell. The fans really don’t seem all that interested in this kick-a-thon.

Buff’s quick comeback is stopped by a kick (of course) and Vampiro hooks an ankle lock. Bagwell fights up again but gets dropped by even more kicks. Vampiro finally tries something else with a suplex but Buff counters into a slingshot suplex. Maybe Vampiro should stick with the kicks. Buff goes to the middle rope but dives into a Rock Bottom. Vampiro tries a top rope hurricanrana, only to get shoved down, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads this match was dull. Vampiro continues to be nothing in the ring and puts me closer to a coma every time I have to see him. When you remind me of Ernest Miller before he got funny, something is very wrong. Nothing to see here and not a good choice to open the show.

Jerry Flynn vs. Wrath

Wrath easily throws him around to start before nailing a middle rope shoulder. Flynn is whipped out to the floor as we appear to be in total squash mode. A hard whip sends Jerry into the barricade but he sends Wrath into the barricade to come back. Back in and Wrath scores with a clothesline before choking a lot as something seems wrong. They head back outside for some brawling and Flynn is sent into the barricade for a double countout. I’m not going to rate this as Wrath shredded his knee somewhere in there and the finish had to be rushed. He would be out for nearly a year.

Horace vs. Meng

It’s a brawl to start (of course) with Meng pounding away but Horace takes him into the corner. Meng pounds his own head into the corner because he’s not all there and Horace looks scared. A superkick puts Horace down and Meng chokes a lot. They head outside with Horace being whipped into the steel but he gets up a boot to stop a charging monster. Horace channels his inner Sting though and splashes the barricade by mistake.

Back in and Horace pounds away to almost no effect as Meng comes back with a powerslam. Meng busts out a dropkick of all things and they slug it out again until Horace hits a spinebuster that the announcers claim was an atomic drop. Horace clotheslines him out to the floor and nails an actually decent suicide dive. They head back in with Meng countering a slam into a small package of all things. Horace nails some clotheslines and a Hogan legdrop for two. Then, like the nitwit he is, he tries a sunset flip and gets Death Gripped for the submission.

Rating: D. They surprised me with some of the stuff they did in there but the match was six minutes of Meng vs. Horace. There was no way this was going to be interesting no matter what they did. That suicide dive wasn’t bad though and it at least gave me a break from the barrage of punches and clotheslines.

Flair, Anderson and Robinson are in the back with Charles pouring champagne. A woman brings in some papers for Flair to sign, which he does without reading them. Arn points out how stupid this is but Flair tells him to calm down.

Disco Inferno vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade headlocks to start until Mikey takes him down with a pair of armdrags into an armbar. Back up and we get armdrags number three and four with Mikey still in control. Disco comes back with a shoulder and clothesline followed by a middle rope elbow for two. These guys certainly aren’t cranking up the variety tonight. Whipwreck is sent outside as we go to a break.

Back with Disco being sent into the barricade and Mikey legsweeping him into it again. They head back inside with Mikey snapping Disco across the top, dropping a springboard legdrop and forearming him in the face for two each. He misses a top rope splash though, setting up Disco’s piledriver for another near fall thanks to Mikey’s foot touching the rope. Back up and a swinging neckbreaker sets up a chinlock on Whipwreck.

Mikey fights up but gets elbowed right back down. Disco misses another middle rope elbow and gets dropkicked a few times, only to come right back with a clothesline. A Fameasser puts Disco down but Mikey takes too much time going up. Disco pulls him down for a reverse DDT, only to spin Mikey around into the Last Dance for the pin.

Rating: C-. Why was Mikey Whipwreck hired? Was it really just to screw with ECW? He hasn’t done anything special in his few months with the company and I don’t think he’s won a match yet. This wasn’t terrible, but when Disco is the one carrying your match, you can tell there’s something wrong.

Gene brings out the Black and White for a chat. Stevie says they’re the police of the WCW and wants a World Title shot tonight against “that no good beatnik fruit booty.” And so it begins.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Disorderly Conduct vs. Saturn/Raven

Saturn wants to accessorize his dress with a Tag Team Title. Raven and Mike get things going with Mike quickly running into a boot. Off to Saturn for a side kick before the stars start tagging quickly. A kick to the ribs sets up a knee lift from Raven who then allows the tag off to Tom. Raven takes Tom down for a top rope knee drop from Saturn for two.

Mike gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Disorderly Conduct starts making their own tags. Saturn is laid across the ropes for an ax handle from Tom. He fights back but runs into Mike’s knee and a jawbreaker gets two. Mike grabs Saturn’s arms but Tom hits his partner by mistake, allowing Saturn to suplex Tom and tag Raven. The drop toehold spot to Tom causes everything to break down and the Evenflow ends Tom.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst squash in the world and at least Disorderly Conduct got to control for awhile. I miss having teams like them who are there for no reason other than to job but people might buy them as a threat because they have a team name. It’s better than Slater Gator if nothing else.

We look at Mysterio getting beaten down on Monday.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

Rey is defending. They pose to start with Juvy shaking his hips on the middle rope. Juvy runs him over with a shoulder and stops to pose even more. They try a quick pinfall reversal sequence but Guerrera stops to try a powerbomb instead of a backslide. Rey sends Juvy out to the floor but he comes right back in with a tilt-a-whirl slam. A hurricanrana takes Juvy out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Juvy missing a splash in the corner and getting faceplanted on the mat. There’s the Bronco Buster from Rey but he takes too much time to pose. Juvy tries to take him down into a powerbomb but gets countered into a sunset flip. Back up and Rey catches him in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Juvy pops up with a dropkick.

Mysterio’s throat gets snapped over the top rope and Juvy busts out a People’s Elbow for two. Rey sends him into the corner but Juvy backflips over him and grabs the Juvy Driver. He’s too spent to cover though so the trip up top for the 450 takes too long. Mysterio crotches him down and runs the corner for a top rope hurricanrana to retain.

Rating: C+. The match was a total spotfest but the spots worked well enough. Juvy as a Rock impersonator was a bizarre choice but it would get even worse later on. Mysterio continues to be the top guy in the division and it’s hard to argue with him being the champion for as long as he was.

Robinson keeps sucking up to Flair, calling his match on Monday as good as his series with Steamboat. Anderson comes in and complains about not being able to find the woman from earlier. Robinson is sent off to find her.

WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Stevie Ray

Stevie yells at Kimberly to start and gets punched in the jaw by the champion. A hard forearm puts Ray on the floor and Page dives onto both Stevie and Vincent. They brawl in the aisle and then into the crowd before coming out by the set. Vincent gets punched as well before the guys actually in the match head back inside.

Stevie gets in a shot to the throat followed by a clothesline for two. We hit the bearhug for a bit before Page grabs a swinging neckbreaker to get a breather. The discus lariat puts Ray down but a Vincent distraction lets Stevie take over again. The Slapjack is countered and Page spins around Ray’s shoulders for the Diamond Cutter to retain.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but what else were you expecting? It’s Stevie Ray getting a World Title match on the B show where they’re not really trying in the first place. I have no problem with them handing Page midcarders to build up his credibility a bit more and the Black and White isn’t going to get hurt by losing a match.

Vincent, Horace and Adams come in and get beaten up as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst show in the world but it’s more meaningless TV. I’m not sure what the Flair/Anderson/Robinson stuff accomplished but it’s the only thing resembling storyline advancement that we got all night. The wrestling was passable enough and that’s about all that matters on Thunder. Worthless but not a terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6