Smackdown Date: September 5, 2014
Location: Pinnacle Bank Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
I really hope this show is better than Raw as I can’t imagine things getting much worse. This week’s episode of Raw was one of the least interesting and flat out horrible shows that I can remember in a very long time. To make things even worse, tonight we have Paige vs. Brie Bella as the story that swallowed the WWE is moving to Fridays. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Cena to get things going. He immediately gets a cheap pop by talking about wearing red at the University of Nebraska. In less than three weeks, we’re done with lawsuits and what’s best for business because he’s going to fight Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. He isn’t going to come out here and just do the Queen’s wave because it’s what the company thinks he should do.
At Night of Champions, he’s going to fight because that’s what he does. The day he comes down here not wanting to be champion again is the day he walks out the door. The fans actually start a loud CENA chant (complete with shots of the crowd to show it’s legitimate) for the first time in longer than I can remember. He knows this is going to be a fight but he’s going to take Lesnar on and fight. Then he’ll tell the Authority to line them up so he can knock them down and you can still get the WWE Network for $9.99.
Cena is on a roll here but Kane and Rollins come down to interrupt. They accuse Cena of having a mid career crisis but John isn’t going to take advise from a demon brother of a dead guy who is now the spokesman for Men’s Warehouse. Kane threatens to put Cena in a match but this brings out Roman Reigns. Roman says he’s going to finish his business with Randy Orton on Monday and would love to start tonight, but Orton isn’t here. Therefore he can focus on Kane and Rollins, so let’s get started right now.
Cena is ready to go but Kane and Rollins say not so fast. Rollins says the Authority is one step ahead of them and we’ve got Wyatts. This brings out Jericho, Big Show and Mark Henry. We’re still not done yet though as HHH comes out, says “let me tell you something playa” (seriously) and makes a ten man tag. “Now how about that playa?” And, complete with a leg in the air and a one armed raising the roof, “HOLLA!” AND TEDDY LONG’S MUSIC PLAYS!!! This was a very solid opening segment with Cena nailing the promo and HHH cracking me up.
Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and Sheamus is on commentary. Cesaro takes him down and grabs a quick chinlock, only to get caught by a neckbeaker. Ziggler’s jumping elbow gets two but he walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to put Dolph down. A European uppercut drops Ziggler again but Cesaro goes outside to jaw with Sheamus before covering. He cranks on a cravate for a bit before a gorilla press gutbuster gets two more.
We take a break and come back with Ziggler nailing a jawbreaker to escape another cravate. Ziggler loads up the splash in the corner but dives into another uppercut for another two. Dolph spins around Cesaro’s shoulders and grabs a sleeper. That goes nowhere so Ziggler counters Swiss Death with the jumping DDT for a near fall of his own. Cesaro gets back up and tries the Neutralizer but gets rolled up for the pin at 6:51 shown of 10:21.
Rating: C-. The match was the decent action you would expect from these two, but the booking continues to make my head hurt. You either job a champion or you job a guy that is getting a title shot in a few weeks. Why WWE felt the need to book this is beyond me, but the fact that they see nothing wrong with pushing the Bellas this much and jobbing Cesaro clean before he gets a title shot should tell you everything you need to know.
Cesaro pounds on Ziggler post match but Sheamus makes the save. They yell at each other until Sheamus throws the belt at Cesaro and lays him out with a Brogue Kick.
Stardust talks about needing what they have and about one of the Usos being hurt. He keeps turning around and changes his tone every time. Apparently they have a title shot at Night of Champions.
Jimmy Uso vs. Heath Slater
Jey is on a crutch. Jimmy misses a quick superkick attempt and gets caught in a neckbreaker for two. Slater stomps away and hooks a chinlock before sending Jimmy into the corner. Uso fights out and nails a Whisper in the Wind for two. He has to kick Titus down though and walks into a side kick for two. Cole: “The Gator is down!” JBL: “Call Skinner!” Back up and the superkick knocks Slater out of the air and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 2:59.
We look back at the Divas segment from Raw.
Stephanie announces Nikki vs. AJ vs. Paige for the title at Night of Champions.
Nikki thanks Stephanie for her announcement and says she’s finally learning what it means to have a real sister. She talks about being treated horribly by her sister all her life.
Here are Lana and Rusev to respond to Mark Henry. Lana says we’re in America’s heartland but that’s an oxymoron because America has no heart. If it had one though, it would be made in China. America used to be great but is soon to be nothing, just like Mark Henry. This brings out Mark who says he challenged Rusev, but that isn’t the question. The question is whether Rusev is going to accept the challenge or hide behind the woman that looks like an escort. Lana accepts the challenge on Rusev’s behalf and Henry promises to give him a red white and blue whipping.
Jerry Springer will be having an intervention with the Bellas on Raw. Oh dear.
Paige vs. Brie Bella
Non-title, AJ is on commentary and Nikki is at ringside. Brie has her own music now and it’s the generic pop rock song you would expect it to be. Brie takes her to the mat to start and we’re quickly in the catfight. Paige gets taken down out of a lockup but pulls Brie out to the floor. Back in and Paige crawls onto Brie as AJ makes some comments about missing her baby. Brie comes back with clotheslines and a running knee to the chest. The fans chant YES but AJ and Nikki are in a fight on the floor. Brie hits a missile dropkick as AJ beats up Nikki, sending Brie outside for a save. She heads back in for the Rampaige and the pin at 4:27.
Rating: D+. The catfighting makes me think the Bella showdown is going to be an even bigger disaster than I thought. Brie can be passable in the ring but Nikki has never proven herself capable of having more than a bad match. This was nothing special and was more about the drama than the wrestling, which is better in a way but still bad.
Harper says Wyatt is a serpent and the rat can’t run fast enough. Bray tells Jericho that he has to pay for his sins on Monday. Rowan adds in a RUN.
Bo Dallas vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder dropkicks him at the bell and nails a faceplant, only to have Bo pop up for the Bodog and the pin at 43 seconds.
Post match Bo says everyone must be living in Nebraska because of some horrible choices in their lives. If Jack Swagger can turn their lives around, so can everyone else. He’s about to start his own WE THE PEOPLE when Swagger hits the ring and beats him up.
We see the Rollins/Ambrose/Reigns stuff again.
Roman Reigns/John Cena/Chris Jericho/Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Wyatt Family/Kane/Seth Rollins
We get a LOUD Y2J chant as Big Show starts with Rollins. The giant hits his loud chop in the corner and brings in Henry for a splash. Big Show loads up a gorilla press but Rollins escapes and tags in Wyatt. Bray is quickly thrown around so it’s off to Rowan for the big man showdown. Show busts out a sunset flip for two followed by a hard shoulder block. He rips open Erick’s coveralls for a chop before it’s back to Henry for another splash.
Jericho comes in to a big pop and nails Erick with a dropkick to the side of Rowan’s head. We take a break and come back with Kane dropkicking Big Show’s knee out. Off to Wyatt for some stomping before Harper slaps on a chinlock. Big Show fights up but gets dropkicked down for two, with the kickout sending Harper out to the floor. Seth comes in to work on the leg before quickly tagging in Wyatt. A DDT gets two and it’s already back to Harper for a headlock.
Big Show suplexes him down and finally makes the tag off to Reigns to clean house. A Samoan drop to puts Harper down but they head to the floor where the numbers game results in Reigns being sent into the barricade. We take another break and come back with Rowan holding Reigns in the skull crusher. Reigns is sent to the floor and Rollins whips him into the barricade while talking trash. Back in for another chinlock but Reigns powers up, only to get kicked in the head.
Harper comes in again as Cena is pacing around on the floor playing cheerleader. Reigns suplexes Luke down but charges into a big boot for two. It’s back to Kane who walks into a running clothesline and the hot tag brings in Jericho. A top rope shot to the head puts Kane down and the Lionsault connects, only to have Kane pop up and grab him for a chokeslam. Jericho counters with an enziguri but can’t get the Walls.
Bray comes in for a save and it’s quickly back to Harper as we take an almost unheard of third break. Back with Rollins working over Jericho with some right hands. Jericho backdrops Rollins to the floor but Seth dives back in to pull Jericho away from the tag. Bray headbutts him a few times and puts on another chinlock.
The running cross body gets two but Bray is down as well. Wyatt spiders up but Jericho elbows out of a Rock Bottom. A dropkick puts Bray down and we FINALLY get the tag to Cena. Everything breaks down and the parade of secondary finishers begins. With everyone else down, Cena puts Rollins in the STF but the Wyatts all come in for the DQ at 17:49 shown of 28:19.
Rating: C+. The match was decent but it felt long more than anything else. They’re doing a good job of making Cena look explosive but I still think they’re keeping the title on Lesnar at the PPV. It doesn’t make sense to have Brock dominate that much at Summerslam and then have Cena win just because he’s fighting harder. The match was good enough and was a decent enough use of half an hour.
The good guys all hit their finishers with Cena planting Rollins with an AA to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The show was nothing great but man alive does that one less hour make a difference. It doesn’t drag things down and makes the show much easier to sit through. That and a lack of recaps really helps things along. The main event was decent enough but it took away a lot of matches that could have filled out the card. At least the ten man match was a fourth of the show so everything else wasn’t left hanging. It says a lot when a totally average show is miles ahead of Raw. Granted HHH’s Teddy Long stuff was hilarious.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Cesaro – Rollup
Jimmy Uso b. Heath Slater – Superfly Splash
Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige
Bo Dallas b. Zack Ryder – Bodog
John Cena/Big Show/Roman Reigns/Mark Henry/Chris Jericho b. Seth Rollins/Kane/Wyatt Family via DQ when the Wyatt Family attacked Cena at the same time
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Get your dancing shoes on because today is the Disco Inferno.
After a few years in the indies, Disco would head over to WCW. Here’s one of his first matches from Nitro on October 30, 1995.
Sabu vs. Disco Inferno
Here’s a strange pairing. Next week it’s viewer’s choice somehow. There will be two groups of wrestlers and you pick the matches. That’s kind of cool I guess. Heenan is back now and talks about the Braves being the world champions. We also hear about the Olympics coming soon. I think this is Disco’s TV debut. All Sabu to start with random off the top stuff. When he didn’t have the tables and ladders etc he was very watchable and enjoyable at times.
Disco comes back with really basic stuff as he was even more of a joke at this point than he was later on. The fans chant for Sabu as I think this was an ECW town, so that makes sense. Disco’s offense lasts like a minute as Sabu is like boy please and the somersault legdrop ends it. Sabu puts him through a table afterwards. Well he tries to since the table doesn’t break.
Rating: C+. Not bad at all as Sabu was still something totally freaky at the time and no one was like him. Rey wouldn’t debut for like 9 months so Sabu was very cool and new still. This went nowhere but it was a fun little squash. It’s interesting to think where Sabu could have gone in WCW had they not thrown him out.
Disco wouldn’t do much to start but would get a Cruiserweight Title shot at Bash at the Beach 1996.
Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko
I hate to say it, but that song is very catchy. He says everyone is here to see him dance and once he wins the title he’ll dance. The guy had charisma and energy. You can’t take that away from him. And let’s talk about the main event more. Ok to be fair, this was a huge match for a change rather than the usual run of the mill main events so I can’t complain that much.
They talk about how awesome the cruiserweights are even though a lot of the really great ones aren’t there yet. This is all Malenko so far. Malenko’s in ring work is really underrated as far as the flying stuff goes. He actually was ranked as the best in the world in the PWI 500 in 97. I was surprised by that. Maybe six minutes in, Disco hits his first offense which is a punch. And now he just goes off in the longest string of offense he’s ever been on I think.
It lasts all of a minute. Heenan says pincovers. I thought only Taz used that term. Most odd. Disco hits his Stunner which was his finisher but checks his hair first. Dean starts busting out springboards of all things. He really could do just about all of it. Dean just goes off and hooks the Cloverleaf for the tap out. Malenko just going off like that made it work for me.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, but the ending was never really in doubt. Inferno looked pretty decent if nothing else, but it’s not like it meant much as Rey would beat Dean the next night in the opener to win the title. Disco would get better but he was nowhere near there yet. Decent little filler match though.
Back to Nitro on December 30, 1996.
Disco Inferno vs. Glacier
There’s a big black spot all over the ring from the stuff that Jacques threw at Stevie in the previous match. After the bell, Disco says drop out of the match or face the wrath of his new leg lock. Glacier flips him over and we’re ready to go. Disco gets kicked a lot so he hides behind the referee and comes back with a clothesline. He sets for his new leg hold but can’t remember how to do it. Instead he hits a pretty good neckbreaker but Glacier pops up and hits a superkick to end it.
Rating: D+. Ice > Fire I guess. The match was, again, pointless and nothing interesting. Glacier would stay undefeated until roughly July while Disco would stay a joke for years to come. At the end of the day though, he took a stupid gimmick and kept a job out of it for how many years? That proves something, although it might be that WCW is stupid enough to keep him around.
Disco would miss a lot of time due to an injury so we’ll come back on Nitro, September 22, 1997 with Disco getting a title shot.
TV Title: Alex Wright vs. Disco Inferno
Wright is defending. Disco shoves him into the corner and gets slapped which fires him up. The fans don’t like Wright at all which is a good sign for him. Wright gets sent to the floor and walks in front of Raven before going back inside to crank on Disco’s arm. We take a break and come back with the champion hitting a spinwheel kick before stomping on Disco in the corner.
You would think the champion would follow up there but instead it’s time to dance. A belly to back suplex puts Wright down but he comes back with a back elbow for two. Wright hits a top rope stomp for no cover because it’s time to dance even more. Disco dodges a charge in the corner and pounds away before crotching Wright on the top rope. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Disco but he misses a middle rope elbow. They both miss a few moves before both trying cross bodies at the same time. They collide in the air and Disco falls on top for the pin and the title in a shocker.
Rating: D+. The match itself wasn’t much but to say this was a surprise is an understatement. On the other hand though, I have almost no idea what the point is in having Disco win the title when Wright has been on fire lately and has the crowd HATING him. Disco on the other hand was just a comedy guy who hadn’t done anything in his entire WCW run until this point.
Disco would quickly drop the title to Saturn but get another chance on Nitro, December 8, 1997.
TV Title: Saturn vs. Disco Inferno
The announcers say we have to take a break because they’re scared for their lives. Back with Saturn throwing Disco around as Tony spends the first few minutes talking about how they need to not ignore the match. Saturn is knocked to the floor and Disco sends him into the steps, only to have Saturn drop him onto the top rope back inside. The champ cranks on Disco’s arms before hitting a high angle suplex for no cover.
A top rope elbow misses and we head back to the floor again with Saturn sending him into the barricade. Disco Stuns Lodi over the barricade before pounding away on Saturn in the corner. Saturn hits a neckbreaker to take over again, followed by a big suplex for two. Disco counters a powerbomb out of nowhere and Stuns Saturn for the pin and the title.
Rating: C. I have no idea what the point of this was. We spend two months making fun of Disco for losing to Jackie and then give him a clean pin over a killer like Saturn? That’s supposed to make us forget about everything he’s done for the last few months? The match wasn’t bad but the booking makes you wonder what WCW was thinking at this point. I guess the idea was that Raven wasn’t there to guide him, but……Disco Inferno?
After losing the title, Disco would go back to his midcard self including this match on Nitro, March 30, 1998.
Disco Inferno vs. Billy Kidman
Disco throws him into the air and gets two off a clothesline to start. He stomps a mudhole in Kidman in the corner and throws him out tot he floor. Kidman comes back in with a slingshot headscissors and the announcers finally stop talking about how awesome Randy Savage is and wondering who Nash’s partner will be.
A slingshot legdrop gets two for Kidman and Disco gets a near fall of his own off a sunset flip. Kidman dropkicks him down and hits a quick backbreaker, only to miss a top rope splash. Disco gets two off an elbow drop and a neckbreaker but charges into a sitout spinebuster for two. Kidman makes the mistake of lowering his head though and Disco hits a great piledriver for the pin.
Rating: C+. Much better match than I was expecting here with Disco actually going move for move with Kidman. I don’t remember him using the piledriver that often but it’s a good finishing move for him, especially if the Chartbuster is being taken by Disciple. Really nice match here with both guys looking good.
Disco would get back on PPV at Bash at the Beach 1998.
Konnan vs. Disco Inferno
This is an added bonus match. It’s a Wrestlezone special I guess. Disco is billed from Funkytown of all places. Alex Wright is with Disco here and tries to speak some Spanish. Thankfully Mike and Tony are here to tell us they can’t speak Spanish. Where would we be without them to explain jokes to us? Nash and Luger are with Konnan. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Nash talks for awhile to eat up more time.
Disco gets beaten down quickly which shouldn’t surprise anyone. We hear about Disco’s legit good resume in wrestling which is often forgotten. Disco gets in some jobber offense as it’s pretty clear what we’ve got on our hands here. Wright gets in some shots while Luger/Nash aren’t thrilled with it. There’s a Rack for Wright and a powerbomb for Disco. Tequila Sunrise ends this squash.
Things would get a bit better when Disco hooked up with Alex Wright to form the Dancing Fools. Here’s a match from Road Wild 1998.
Disco Inferno/Alex Wright vs. Public Enemy
Tokyo Magnum is here with the dancers. Wright rolls away from Rocco to start before hiptossing him down and dancing. They fight over a wristlock until Alex dropkicks him down and tags in Disco. He’s not quite ready to fight yet though and drops to the floor for a three way high five with the other dancers. Back in and Disco takes Grunge down with a clothesline before bringing Wright back in for a missile dropkick. Alex stops for some dancing and turns around into a Rocco clothesline.
A double flapjack puts Inferno down and Tokyo throws in a trashcan out of nowhere. Grunge gets cracked over the back as the referee is cool with all of this. Rocco brings in a ladder and that’s too much for the dancers who go for a walk. Tokyo doesn’t want to leave but his partners come back with a table. Disco grabs a mic and says let’s make this a street fight. Tony states the obvious: “Haven’t we already made it one already?”
The referee is fine with that so Public Enemy goes to the back to find a toilet seat and a kitchen sink. Grunge pounds on Disco on the floor as Tony hypes up a cookie sheet. Wright suplexes Rocco through a trashcan but Grunge blasts Alex with the sheet for the save. Rocco loads up the flip dive through the table but Disco makes a save to prevent Wright’s demise. The kitchen sink is brought in and nearly broken over Grunge’s back. The fans want to see the table but they get Tokyo Magnum thrown inside instead.
Public Enemy throws the dancers into each other and give them stereo atomic drops, only to have Wright come back with a leg lariat to Grunge. Tokyo hits Magnum by mistake as Grunge blasts Disco in the face with the ladder. Alex walks away as Rocco see-saws a ladder into Disco’s hair. Now Tokyo walks away, leaving Public Enemy to set up three tables on top of each other next to the platform. Grunge climbs a ladder to put Disco on the top table, allowing Rocco to climb the scaffolding for a huge elbow drop. Grunge has to throw Disco back inside, avoid a top rope splash from a returning Magnum, and get the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was fun and the spot at the end was good (though also odd looking with a delay before each table broke) but it took over fifteen minutes to get there. The wrestling stuff at the beginning was a waste of time and they should have just gone to the street fight stuff from the beginning. Not horrid though.
Disco would get on a roll late in the year and had a #1 contenders match for a shot at the Cruiserweight Title at Halloween Havoc 1998.
Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera
Winner gets a Cruiserweight Title shot against Kidman later tonight. Disco stomps away in the corner to start but grabs a side slam for two. Juvy lands a LOUD chop to take over and does some quick dancing of his own. Guerrero tries the backflip out of a Fameasser position but just falls to the side. A second attempt at a Fameasser works a bit better and Disco gets monkey flipped over the top. Juyy baseball slides into a headscissors and both guys go down for a few seconds.
Back in and Disco takes over with an atomic drop and clothesline before stopping to dance instead of cover. We hit the chinlock with no cranking on it at all before Juvy slides to the apron to take Disco down with a Stunner. Disco heads outside again and turns his back on Guerrera, allowing him to be taken out by a nice plancha. They head inside again and Disco grabs a swinging neckbreaker but lays on the mat instead of covering.
Disco counters a sunset flip with a right hand but stops for a Macarena. He busts out a giant swing of all things but dizzies himself. It doesn’t turn out all that badly though as he falls head first onto Juvy’s groin. Referee: “Juvy are you ok?” All three announcers: “NO HE’S NOT OK!” Disco takes forever to get up top so Juvy can nip up and grab a top rope hurricanrana. Now it’s Juvy on top with a spinwheel kick (his hip hit Disco so Tony’s “flying body attack” description is more accurate) for two and the sitout bulldog gets the same. Juvy loads up a victory roll but Disco shoves him off and nails the jumping piledriver for the pin.
Rating: B-. Shockingly good match here with Disco wrestling a normal style against the high flier in Guerrera. I’ll give Disco this: he turned a ridiculous gimmick into a successful career and had some solid matches throughout. That jumping piledriver looked great as well and made things even better.
He had to fight a monster on Nitro, January 19, 1999.
Disco Inferno vs. Wrath
The dancer has the Wolfpack shirt and is wearing red and black tights. Wrath shoves him around to start and hits some hard chops. Tony talks about Alex Wright not showing up to be in Disco’s corner for reasons not explained. Hall sneaks out with the tazer as Wrath drives knees into the ribs. Disco comes back with the swinging neckbreaker and dancing elbow for two before we hit the chinlock.
Some shots to the knees have Wrath in more trouble but he backdrops Disco with ease. A hard dropkick puts Disco on the floor and Wrath follows up with a slingshot elbow to the jaw back inside. The Death Penalty looks to set up the Meltdown but Hall uses the Tazer to distract Wrath, allowing Disco to hit the Chartbuster for the upset.
Rating: D+. And that’s it for Wrath meaning anything at all. As soon as the first loss happened you could tell his career was going down, but this is a big fall down for him. This isn’t one that you can say he’s going to bounce back from either. Wrath’s push is officially dead in the water and he’s another talent wasted in WCW.
We’ll jump ahead to Halloween Havoc 1999 with Disco defending his Cruiserweight Title.
Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Lash Leroux
Disco is champion coming in. The massive demon holding the massive pumpkin is always cool to see for the set. It’s shaking here (intentionally) which makes it look even better. Disco takes over to start and Lash isn’t really able to fight back. The ring is really big looking by comparison to the modern WWE one. Out to the floor and Lash goes into the post. He finally gets something going with a combination belly to belly/powerslam for two.
Lash grabs a sleeper and this match is really nothing special. Disco sends him over the top but Lash hangs on. Disco gets the first shot in anyway but the Last Dance (Stunner) misses. A neckbreaker, a middle rope axe handle and a piledriver all get two for the champion. Lash grabs a blue thunder driver (his move according to Tony) for two. They botch…something involving a clothesline and the Last Dance keeps the title on Disco.
Rating: D. It’s passable but this probably belonged on Nitro more than anything else. They weren’t clicking at all and it was really hurting things. Lash wasn’t anything special but he got a lot better once they put him into the MIA. Disco was always around and had a much better career than he’s remembered for. Pretty sloppy match though.
We’ll jump ahead again to Fall Brawl 2000.
Filthy Animals/Big Vito/Paul Orndorff vs. Natural Born Thrillers
Filthy Animals: Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Disco Inferno, Juventud Guerrera, Tygress (female manager)
Natural Born Thrillers: Mark Jindrak, Sean O’Haire, Mike Sanders, Chuck Palumbo, Shawn Stasiak, Reno, Johnny the Bull
This is elimination style. Yes it’s that Paul Orndorff. He trained most of the Thrillers in the Power Plant (the same place that said one Dave Bautista had no future in wrestling) and he drew about 15 years ago so he’s PERFECT here. Orndorff is a mystery partner here. He SHOCKS the Thrillers. OH NO! IT’S ON OVER THE HILL OVERRATED GUY THAT HASN’T MEANT A THING SINCE WE WERE IN 5TH GRADE! Wait….this is WCW and he’s over fifty…..WE’RE SCREWED!!!
Stasiak goes on commentary for no apparent reason. Konnan makes gay jokes and introduced Orndorff. Wow this is so completely overhyped. No one cheers either. They just kind of breathe. Also, we get to see a 51 year old man that looks about twice that old in lime green tights. Rock on brother man.
This was billed as 6-6 but there are so many people that a lot have to drop to the floor, making it look like 4-4. Rey and Juvy are tag champions as I try to fill space. Ok apparently they aren’t….they just have the belts for the second straight PPV in a row. Rey tags in Juvy to absolutely NO reaction. I wasn’t looking at the screen and didn’t even notice it. Normally you get a sound from the crowd to let you know that something happened but there was NOTHING here.
O’Haire hits a Falcon’s Arrow to take down Juvy who of course is fine like 4 seconds later. Vito, the big guy on the team I guess, beats up Jindrak and is only there for Johnny. And here’s Disco to again complete silence. Oh never mind they think that he, a face, sucks. Jimdrak, a guy about 6’5, can’t get a dropkick past the ribs of Disco who is about 6’0. Ok Konnan is in the match despite sitting on the floor so far.
Konnan crashes into Disco so Disco accidently hits him with the Last Dance (Stunner) to eliminate him. Shawn says five to go, implying 6-6 to start. Disco can’t get anyone to tag him in so Vito punches him and Reno Rolls the Dice to end him and make it 6-4 I guess. Vito hits an Edgecution on Palumbo for two. Bull hits Vito in the head with a kendo stick and a Roll of the Dice (rolling cutter, Cross Roads) ends him.
That leaves it as Juvy, Rey and Orndorff left, so Madden suggests that Tygress is on the team too. So then Tony says it’s 6-2 as Orndorff is there for…..oh screw it let’s just get this over with. Guerrera hits a flying…..something to Reno. Tony calls it a body attack which sounds like something from Mortal Kombat. Juvy Driver and WHAT’S UP on Reno makes it however many vs. however many. Oh and over ten minutes in and I think there are 4 people that haven’t even been in yet.
Rey and Juy apparently ARE the tag champions here. Tony said they weren’t 8 minutes ago and now they are. My goodness I know WCW at this time is called insane but I’ve always thought it was overhyped. In this match alone, about ten minutes long at this point, we can’t establish how many original participants there were in this match, we’ve gotten three different answers as to how many people are left on one of the teams at this point, and we don’t even know if two guys are tag team champions? Ok according to Wikipedia they are the champions but are forced to forfeit them tomorrow for no given reason. Now why can I establish that and the paid announcers can’t?
The fans hate Tygress all of a sudden as Juvy’s plancha is just caught. And then HOKEY SMOKE O’Haire and Jindrak LAUNCH Juvy from the floor into the ring off a double hip toss. That looked incredible. A Swanton Bomb ends Juvy…..and here’s Orndorff. Of course he beats up all the young guys but a kendo stick takes care of him. He hits a bad piledriver to get rid of Johnny the Bull.
Rey and Tygress (now on the apron) just let Orndorff get double teamed and do all the work. Sanders hasn’t been in yet. He of course beats up Jindrak and O’Haire on his own, making them look completely weak in the process. He goes to piledrive Jindrak and of course gets hurt coming down, giving himself a stinger (same thing that happened to Austin in 97 off the Owen piledriver) and O’Haire quickly covers him for the pin because of the injury.
Rey and Tygress I guess don’t get that he’s really hurt and keep going on Jindrak. After a pair of Bronco Busters we get the idea so they beat up Sanders and Palumbo to keep the crowd into it I guess. Pay no attention to the fact that they’re landing around Paul’s legs or anything like that. And they stop the match because of the injury. They would conclude it the next night where Rey and Tygress would beat five guys on their own.
Rating: F. There should be two ratings here. The match itself was entertaining and was about a B/B-, but to let a guy in there that was 51 years old and had retired because of a neck injury and then, shocking no one with a brain, hurts his neck in his first match back in like 5 years is simply irresponsible. I don’t care if he swears up and down that he’ll be ok or whatever. You don’t let him into the ring with his neck hurt like that, and this is why.
He wasn’t even taking a bump and he got hurt. Imagine what would have happened if he had been taking am ove and got hurt like this. There is just no way you can validate letting Orndorff go out there. It didn’t sell any more shows because he wasn’t even announced, so this comes off as just irresponsible by WCW and there’s no way that is ok in my mind.
Off to Germany for a show not many people have ever heard of called Millennium Final.
Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire
So the non dancers are the champions here, but Disco Inferno is hurt. Since we need to have a German win the belts though, we have Alex Wright teaming with General Rection for no apparent reason at all and he’s wearing a sweatshirt despite wearing tights in the previous match. Rection isn’t US Champion here as you saw a little bit ago but he’s announced as it and holds up a German flag. He and Jindrak start us off.
We hear that Wright has been inserted into the Triangle Match later on to qualify for the Europe Cup with Awesome and Nash. It’s weird but slowly and surely you get to understand German to an extent. Wright hits a sweet double nip up to get back up. That was awesome. They mention the Dancing Fools and Berlin but say tonight it’s just Alex Wright. Now why couldn’t we get this Alex Wright in America? This guy is freaking awesome.
The heels take over on Rection to set up the insanely hot tag that’s coming soon. The General looks like a fat Jeff Hardy. And we hit an arm bar ten minutes into the match. That fails to make sense but it’s WCW so whatever. The Seanton Bomb misses and there’s the hot one. Actually make that a slight fever one.
There was a tiny pop at best. And he’s getting beaten up now. This is already making my head hurt badly. I think Alex forgets to kick out of a rollup meaning that Mark has to just kind of let it go which looks completely stupid. Wright hits a missile dropkick from the top for the pin and the titles for him and Disco and a huge pop.
Rating: C-. Odd booking aside, this was all so that Wright could get a huge pop and that’s fine. He’s the hometown boy and he deserves a moment like this. I think it was mentioned on TV as a European match but Rection was never mentioned so there we are. This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t anything worth watching either. It’s your standard TV match which is fine. Not a great match but a cool moment.
After WCW went under, Disco would head to the WWA promotion and appear at their Revolution event.
Disco Inferno vs. Scott Steiner
Total dominance by Steiner that ends with the Steiner Recliner in about two minutes. Disco got in as much offense as a career comedy character would on a big name power guy.
He would appear in TNA a few times, including this match at Turning Point 2004.
Rating: D. Imaginethat: Jackiemessesupamatch. Tobefairthoughthematchwasboring, mainlybecausetherewasnorealstorytothis. TheNYCwereoneoftheleftoversfromtheolderrunofthecompanysotheywerebroughtalongforaboutfiveminutes. Thiswasnothingofnotethoughandwasprettybad. Tobefairthough, itwasjusttheretobridgeustothesecondhalfoftheshow.
One more match from the World Wrestling Legends reunion show.
Disco Inferno vs. Koko B. Ware
Disco is doing even more of his gimmicky stuff than ever. Koko doesn’t have a bird with him. Frankie died a few years ago so there’s a possible explanation. Koko is fat again. Disco jumps him and thankfully they’re in shirts here. Disco is the heel here too. Koko has green hair so the announcers are trying to figure out what it might be.
Pretty much nothing but punches and kicks here. Chinlock sequence to Koko who gets to make the big face comeback. Disco is more concerned with his hair than with the match which is something kind of funny. He misses an elbow and here comes the Bird Man. Last Dance is countered into a bulldog for the pin. Longest match of the night so far at 4 minutes.
Rating: F+. Yeah it was just punching and kicking here but they didn’t try for anything special. This whole show is like that: it’s not about the wrestling but rather just being there and getting to come out to in front of the crowd one more time. That’s perfectly fine and they’re not trying to make this all serious like they did with Heroes of Wrestling. The result: this is fun.
Disco Inferno is actually an interesting story. He isn’t the most talented guy in the world and he was given a horrible character, but he turned it into a long and successful career. Disco won the TV, Cruiserweight and Tag Team Titles which is a better run than a lot of other wrestlers could hope to do. I was lucky enough to talk to him a few times when he worked for WrestleZone and he’s actually a nice guy. The guy was goofy but he made it work and that’s very commendable.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
I’m very surprised by this but if that’s what they’ve got then that’s what they’ve got. TNA moving to Wednesday is still a good idea for them though, given the NFL returning for a full slate of Thursday games.
Wrestler of the Day – September 4: Michelle McCool
Today we’re going to look at a Diva who got good, married a legend, then got great. Today is Michelle McCool.
Michelle got her start through the 2004 Diva Search. After a bit in developmental, McCool would be on Smackdown, including this match on June 30, 2005. This is Melina’s debut.
Melina vs. Michelle McCool
Melina is doing the A-List gimmick and talked about all the celebrities coming to see her first match. There were even paparazzi waiting for her as she made her entrance. Michelle isn’t much yet other than a hot blonde in barely there shorts. Melina is sent to the floor and kicked through the ropes but Michelle drags her back inside.
A rollup gets two for Michelle and a kick to the face gets the same. Melina begs off and offers a handshake and the tall blonde actually goes for it. She earns that right hand to the face and Melina chokes away for awhile. An awkward looking kick to the face puts Michelle down as her shorts don’t want to stay down. Melina powerbombs Michelle out of the corner and rolls her up with feet on the ropes for the pin. Too short to rate but the outfits were better than the match.
We’ll jump ahead to the next year to Smackdown on October 6, 2006. Michelle is now a sexy teacher with a team of KC James and Idol “Damien Sandow” Stevens.
Michelle McCool vs. Ashley
McCool stomps away at the ribs to start and takes Ashley into the corner for a hair drag. Ashley comes back with some forearms to the spine and a Boston crab but James comes out to drag Michelle to the ropes. They trade forearms until McCool rolls through a cross body and grabs the skirt for the pin. Ashley looked TERRIBLE here.
Another one off match from Smackdown, I believe on May 10, 2007.
Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall
Jillian takes her into the corner to start and cartwheels into an elbow drop. A chinlock doesn’t get Hall anywhere and Michelle rolls her up for two. Michelle flips into a jackknife cover for two before a belly to belly gets the same. After all that, a backbreaker of all things is enough to give Michelle the pin.
Rating: D. This was pretty bad but you can see Michelle getting better out there. She still isn’t what you would call good yet but she didn’t embarrass herself out there and actually looked like she could wrestle longer than a few minutes. The belly to belly and backbreaker weren’t bad and both were a nice change of pace from the usual Diva offense.
Off to Survivor Series 2007 for the big Divas mess.
Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla
One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.
Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.
Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.
Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.
Here’s a title match from Great American Bash 2008.
Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
This is for the inaugural title and there’s probably some stupid tournament that set this up. Michelle takes her to the mat and speeds things up. Natalya takes over and hooks a surfboard but Michelle counters (impressively so) into a heel hook attempt which is countered. Nattie hooks the Sharpshooter but Michelle gets the ropes. A second attempt is countered into the heel hook and Michelle wins the title.
Rating: D. The joke here was that hopefully Michelle enjoyed the Undertaker semen that came with that belt. I’m not sure how much anyone cared or if anyone on the planet that didn’t work for WWE thinks there was a need for another female title, but they unified it…eventually, as in like two years later.
And another from Unforgiven 2008.
Divas Title: Maryse vs. Michelle McCool
Michelle is champion. Michelle as a face just never worked. She’s such a natural villain and her pumping her fist doesn’t work at all. She hurts her knee going to the floor and Maryse works on it as we’re waiting for the people to get back from popcorn time to end this. Michelle works on Maryse’s leg in a heel hook but she gets a rope. The fans are all over this match already. A sitout gordbuster keeps the title on McCool.
Rating: D-. Michelle and Maryse are too hot to be a failure but the match was terrible. NO ONE cared and that was very clear. Nothing to see here and we’re moving on. Why this got almost six minutes was crazy but I’d assume that it was due to a long line at the Cena shirt booths. Horrible match.
Michelle would get another shot at the title at The Bash.
Smackdown Women’s Title: Melina vs. Michelle McCool
Melina was just freaking stunning at this point once she dyed her hair black. Michelle was getting there too and she has Alicia with her here for reasons that I’m sure don’t mean anything. For some reason I like Michelle’s music. Melina comes out hot. And she’s being intense too. Michelle can actually work pretty well.
She hooks a hold where Melina’s foot is touching Melina’s head from behind. DANG that girl is flexible. Ok five minutes have passed but I’m back now. Melina’s knee is hurt of course as it always is. Michelle kicks her head off for two. That sounded painful as all goodness. Styles Clash gives Michelle the title.
Rating: C-. It did its job. This was just supposed to be an appetizer to the remainder of the show and that’s what it did. And I think that’s enough padding to say that the girls looked great here and that was the whole point to this. I’m glad they kept this quick because neither girl was able to carry the other.
Michelle was on the Smackdown team at Bragging Rights 2009.
Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim
Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.
Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.
We’ll jump ahead to Night of Champions 2010 for a title unification match against Melina.
Women’s Titles: Michelle McCool vs. Melina
Michelle in red: DANG. Nice back shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.
Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.
Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.
Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the stupid Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.
Another Divas Title match at Hell in a Cell 2010.
Divas Title: Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Michelle looks good in her gold shorts if nothing else. Striker tries to claim Michelle is the best in ring working woman ever. I’m not even going to make a joke about that because it’s not fair to make fun of people that stupid. Michelle dominates for a bit with leg based offence but Natalya takes over with power stuff. This is rather boring if you couldn’t tell. Michelle accidently drills Layla and Natalya gets a rollup for two. Sharpshooter goes on, is countered into a heel hook and is countered again. Then Layla throws in her shoe for the DQ.
Rating: D-. Yeah I don’t care either. The division was such a disaster at this point but unifying the titles was the smartest move all around. There just wasn’t a valid reason to have both belts around, especially when the talent pool was very deep. It would get better, but as usual it wasn’t going to last.
Michelle would be in a battle royal on Raw, December 13, 2010.
I think that’s everyone but I’m not sure. Everyone surrounds Laycool and to their credit they’re like BRING IT ON. Tamina chills in the corner for a bit but puts out Kaitlyn. You can go through the ropes here. Rosa is out second. She has never won a match on the main roster. Tamina is out.
A Bella is out as they’re flying out of here insanely fast. The other Bella goes out with ease as Laycool is dominating. Maryse is gone. There’s no particular rhyme or reason here as you would expect in a battle royal. Michelle, looking GREAT in those red shorts, puts out Kelly who looks GREAT in those white shorts. Beth Glam Slams Melina out.
Down to Laycool, Beth, Natalya, Gail and Alicia. Beth kicks Layla out and she FREAKS. She distracts the Glamazon long enough to let Michelle put out Beth. Natalya puts out Alicia and Gail and walks into a big kick from Michelle who wins this at approximately 3:30.
Rating: C. This is hard to grade as battle royals aren’t something that there are standards for. This was fine for what it was and one of the girls that should have won it got the award so I can’t complain. Also you have hot women so how much can you really complain? Good stuff.
Time for a gimmick match at TLC 2010.
Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool
Tables match. Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.
Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as heck, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.
Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Beth may have fallen out for a bit. HOKEY SMOKE!!! Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!
The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.
Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.
At the start of 2011, Laycool was still hanging out with Vickie Guerrero, who was with Dolph Ziggler. Vickie wanted Dolph to become World Heavyweight Champion, so she made this match on Smackdown, February 4, 2011.
Smackdown World Title: Kelly Kelly/Edge vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler
We even get big match intros for this. Chimmel has cut down on the throat cracking during Edge’s intro. The genders have to match here. Vickie says if there’s a spear the title is vacated. The guys start us off with Edge in control. He wants the spear and Vickie shouts at him to do it. Ziggler tags both members of Laycool so we get Michelle. Off to Kelly to make it Kelly Kelly vs. Michelle McCool for the World Heavyweight Championship as we take a break.
Kelly is all fired up here and beats up both members of Laycool with her gymnastics. Instead though Michelle catches a rana on the floor and spins Kelly into the barricade. That gets two back in the ring. Dolph: “Stay down Barbie!” Layla in now as Kelly is in trouble. Belly to belly by Michelle gets two. Kelly backflips out of a suplex and slaps the heck out of McCool to put both girls down.
Is there a reason why the initials on Dolph’s tights are backwards? Layla gets a head scissors choke on Kelly for a bit. Kelly fights back and it’s an X-Factor to break the momentum. The referee misses the tag to Edge allows Layla to beat on Kelly a bit more. Edge goes after Ziggler anyway but Michelle misses a big kick to Layla. Edge is ready for the tag but instead Kelly spears Layla to retain the world title at 6:50 shown of 10:20.
Rating: C. Decent main event here with a nice ending. Vickie said Edge couldn’t use a spear, not Kelly. It’s kind of cheap but it worked just fine for the ending to a TV main event. I’d have liked more Edge though as he was in there maybe a minute. I guess that was the point though as it made the title seem to be in jeopardy. This was just ok though as it was really Kelly vs. Laycool for the most part. Still though, creative way to have Edge be in trouble.
Here’s one of Laycool’s final matches together as the problems are mounting up. From Wrestlemania XXVII.
John Morrison/Snooki/Trish Stratus vs. Laycool/Dolph Ziggler
Barely any story here as it’s just there to give us Snooki, which is supposed to mean something. Vickie is with Laycool here because she’s already screwing Dolph at this point. Trish is STUNNING as a brunette here too. Laycool attacks to start and the guys get involved as well. Michelle shoves Layla to start so Trish comes in and beats Michelle up. The Matrish is broken up with a stomp but Trish escapes the Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) with a facebuster.
Michelle and Stratus slug it out on the top before falling to the floor at the same time. Layla tries to interfere and gets decked as well, only to have Trish dive off the apron and take both of them out. The Chick Kick gets two on Michelle as the guys come in sans tags. Starship Pain to the floor takes Ziggy out and there’s the tag to Snooki for a handspring elbow to Michelle. That and a splash are good for the pin.
Rating: D+. Trish and Laycool looked hot, Snooki did her two moves decently enough, the guys did almost nothing at all and Vickie was kept to a minimum in the less than three and a half minutes this ran. For a match that short with Trish looking that good, how much can you really complain here? Laycool would be split in a month with Michelle leaving the company.
We’ll wrap it up with Michelle’s last match in WWE, from Extreme Rules 2011.
Michelle McCool vs. Layla
More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.
They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.
Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.
Layla cries as she leaves.
Michelle gets the goodbye song treatment but Kharma (Awesome Kong) debuts. Implant Buster kills Michelle dead with ease. All of the Divas are freaked out. Beth is made to look the most prominent here.
Michelle McCool is a woman with a very simple formula: tall, blonde, good looking, small outfits, passable in the ring. She gets a lot of the HHH treatment as people say it’s just because of her spouse but Michelle was good long before then. The Laycool team was a perfect fit for her and I had fun watching her. She and Layla carried the Divas division for a long time and they made it work better than anyone in the years around their time.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
NXT – September 4, 2014: You Still Got It! *Rhythmic Clapping* You Still Got It!
NXT
Date: September 4, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Renee Young
It’s the go home show for Takeover II next week and we now have a main event set. This week we’re likely going to be setting the stage for the fatal fourway next week with Adrian Neville defending against Tyler Breeze, Sami Zayn and Tyson Kidd. We also have the finals of the #1 contenders tag team tournament. Let’s get to it.
Before the opening sequence we hear about the card tonight, which will see the tournament finals and all four men in the fourway in singles matches.
Opening sequence.
Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte
Non-title. Charlotte takes her down with a headlock but Bliss goes to the middle rope for an armdrag followed by a headscissors. That’s enough for Charlotte as she chokes Bliss on the middle rope to take over. Bliss rolls through a powerbomb into a sunset flip for two but walks into Bow Down to the Queen for the pin at 2:22.
Bayley comes out post match and says it’s time Charlotte took her seriously, because she’s seriously taking the title at Takeover. She offers a handshake but Charlotte shoves her instead. Charlotte walks over to her and gets caught in a bad looking Belly to Bayley.
Breeze says he’ll win the title because he looks better than everyone else.
Kenta debuts next week and will be wrestling under that name.
Sin Cara and Kalisto say they have a great opportunity tonight and have the heart to beat the Ascension.
Tye Dillinger vs. Tyler Breeze
Dillinger jumps over Tyler in the corner to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Breeze gets all aggressive and stomps Tye down in the corner before putting on a front facelock. Back up and the Beauty Show is good for the pin at 2:40.
Kidd says he’ll win the title because he’s been around the world and is cocky and arrogant, but he’s earned the right to be.
Enzo and Big Cass at a beauty salon and goes in to see a friend of his to get some hair removal cream (I hope it’s Freebird brand) for the hair vs. hair match against Sylvester LeFort next week. A very effeminate man comes in and freaks them out so they get in an argument over who should test the cream. They spill it on a dog and the stylist freaks out as they look in shock and say the cream really works.
Tyson Kidd vs. Adam Rose
There are far too many people here with names that start with Ty. Kidd takes him into the corner for some knees to start. Rose comes back with elbows to the face, only to walk into a suplex. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Rose fights up with forearms and elbows to the jaw. Kidd dropkicks the knee out and puts on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 4:11.
Rating: D+. This was a glorified squash and Kidd looked good throughout. The fourway next week is going to be awesome and this was a good step to get us to that match. Rose is done at this point save for comedy and that’s all he was ever going to become. Then again, it’s not like any of this matters on the main show as NXT is in its own world.
Sami Zayn says he wants to beat Neville because Adrian is the champion.
The Vaudevillains, in black and white of course, promise that they’ll win the tournament. Aiden insists that Gotch can move mountains and Simon adds a hearty EXCELSIOR!
Sami Zayn vs. Marcus Louis
They trade wristlocks to start until Marcus gets him down into a chinlock. Sami finally fights up with a kick to the ribs and a clothesline followed by a nice dropkick. He easily takes Louis down and puts on the Koji Clutch for the tap at 2:59.
Enzo and Big Cass run out and try to use the cream on LeFort’s hair but Sylvester escapes.
Adrian Neville knows he doesn’t have to be pinned or submit to lose the title and he loves the challenge.
CJ Parker vs. Adrian Neville
Non-title again. Renee accuses Parker of using REGULAR gasoline recently. Neville spins around to start and takes Parker to the mat with a headlock. Parker fights back up with a spinwheel kick for two but misses a top rope splash. Adrian scores with some kicks of his own and the Red Arrow is good for the pin at 3:21.
Rating: C-. Neville has been a really good champion so far but I have no idea if he holds onto the belt next week. That’s the best thing you could ask for going into a big match as it really could go wither way. I love that Parker is now a lowly jobber as the fans absolutely could not stand him and he didn’t have the skill to stay at the level he was on.
Tag Team Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Vaudevillains vs. Sin Cara/Kalisto
The Vaudevillains beat Bull Dempsey/Mojo Rawley and Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady to advance while Kalisto/Sin Cara defeated Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy and Adam Rose/Sami Zayn to get here. Kalisto spins English around to start and Aiden is quickly frustrated. It’s quickly off to Sin Cara vs. Gotch with the masked man being dropped ribs first onto the top rope and out to the floor.
English comes back in to hammer away in the corner, only to walk into a cross body. A double tag brings in Kalisto for a headscissors to Gotch. Something like the La Mistica faceplant gets two and everything breaks down. Cara dives over the top rope to take out English, sending him head first into the stge. Gotch catches Kalisto’s cross body but walks into the Salida Del Sol, followed by the Swanton from Sin Cara to give them the title shot at 5:50.
Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it did exactly what it was supposed to do. I don’t think anyone expected a different outcome and that’s the right way to go. The luchadors are on a roll heading into the title match next week and there’s a chance the titles could finally change. Basic power vs. speed match here but it was fine.
Ascension comes out for a staredown to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best go home shows I can remember in a very long time. Almost every Takeover match got some time and it set up the fourway perfectly. I can’t wait for the show now and based on the house show reports, the fourway has the potential to be a classic. Throw in the fact that all three titles could easily change hands and Enzo vs. LeFort could be a very solid comedy match and Takeover II is shaping up great.
Results
Charlotte b. Alexa Bliss – Bow Down to the Queen
Tyler Breeze b. Tye Dillinger – Beauty Show
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
Sami Zayn b. Marcus Louis – Koji Clutch
Adrian Neville b. CJ Parker – Red Arrow
Sin Cara/Kalisto b. Vaudevillains – Swanton bomb to Gotch
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
New Column: Let’s Go Home
Looking at WWE forgetting its first love and, of course, a lesson to be learned from WCW.
Impact Wrestling – September 3, 2014: I Feel Nothing
Impact Wrestling
Date: September 3, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
We’re still in New York and things are actually going well for TNA, at least on screen. Last week we saw a really good tag team match and the World Title scene is starting to take shape. That being said, Bound For Glory is getting closer and closer and there really isn’t much taking shape for the biggest show of the year. Other than penciling in the finals of the tag team series, there isn’t a major challenger on the horizon for Lashley. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s main event. Team 3D gets to pick the stipulation for the next match.
Here’s the Trio with something to say. MVP says Lashley is about to become the Bellator World Champion and says no one can stop him. This brings out Samoa Joe to praise MVP for his skills as a hype man. Joe says Lashley isn’t the toughest man in the world, the city, or even in this ring. He wants to drop these belts and have a fight right now. King gets in Joe’s face and the brawl is on. Referees break them up and MVP makes Joe vs. Lashley later.
Video on Taryn Terrell vs. Gail Kim. They make this sound WAY bigger than it really is.
Knockouts Title: Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell
Gail is defending and quickly takes her down to start. A rollup gets two for Terrell and a middle rope clothesline gets the same. Gail comes right back with a top rope hurricanrana, followed by a DDT on the arm. She misses the charge in the corner though and falls out to the floor. Taryn loads up the steps but gets caught in a neckbreaker onto the steel which knocks both girls silly. Back in and Eat Defeat gets two, followed by an RKO for the same for Taryn. Gail is staggered so Terrell goes up for a high cross body, only to have Gail roll through to retain at 6:00.
Rating: C+. The match was decent but the fans chanting THIS IS AWESOME shows how lame womens’ wrestling has been lately. It was entertaining but awesome is a stretch to put it mildly. This was miles beneath the stuff they did a year or so ago but it still wasn’t bad. The division is pretty horrible anymore though as there’s barely a division to speak of.
We might get a solution to that here though as Havok debuts and destroys Taryn with White Noise and Gail with a one arm chokeslam.
MVP tells Eric Young to watch out for Roode tonight.
The BroMans try to get a phone signal to find out who they’ve been matched up with on their dating game.
Here’s EC3 to rip on the fans cheering for Dixie being powerbombed through a table. The Carter charity is ending and Rhino will be the first victim. Carter has a list of demands: the firing of Bully Ray, the banning of the words violence and extreme, and the ending of YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chants due to him proving his skills. The fans start a CM Punk chant and Ethan says he’d love to beat him too. Rhino jumps the barricade and beats Carter up, only to have SPud pull Ethan to the floor. Rhino wants a fight right now and Carter says it’s on….against Spud.
Some chick is admiring Samuel Shaw when Gunner comes up to ask about Shaw putting on Gunner’s uniform. Shaw says he wanted to look like a hero and Gunner says it’s cool.
Samuel Shaw/Gunner vs. Bram/Magnus
Shaw nails a nice dropkick on Magnus to start before it’s quickly off to Gunner for a double back elbow. Bram comes in and rams Gunner face first into the buckle for no effect, so Gunner does the exact same thing to the Brit. A finger to the eye stops Gunner so Shaw tags himself in, much to Gunner’s annoyance. Shaw and Magnus clothesline each other and a double tag brings in Gunner to run over Bram. A slingshot suplex gets two on Bram but Gunner has to nail Magnus. Gunner hurts his knee coming off the middle rope, allowing Bram to clip him for a pin at 4:02.
Rating: D+. I’m still not sure where they’re going with Gunner and Shaw and I really don’t care for the most part. Shaw is a character instead of a wrestler and that’s ok for the most part, but this story really doesn’t make very interesting television. This story has been going on for months now and it really hasn’t gone anywhere yet. The characters aren’t the best in the first place, making the whole thing really tiring.
MVP reminds Roode of his past issues with Young.
The BroMans aregue some more until the Beautiful People come up as their dates. DJZ is told to get them on the guest list for every club.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode
These two got out of a cage at the same time so this is a singles match for the next World Title shot. Tenay tries to explain MVP’s comments by saying Roode was a bigger deal in Team Canada but that Young was never subservient to Bobby. That’s true, but there’s no mention made of the time where Roode owned Young’s TNA contract and treated him like a slave. Feeling out process to start until Young takes him down with a headlock.
An early piledriver attempt is countered with a backdrop and Roode kicks him in the face to take over. Young backflips over the corner and goes up top for a missile dropkick and two. Roode comes right back with a Blockbuster and the spinebuster for two each. A wheelbarrow suplex gets the same for Eric, even though he missed the accompanying neckrbeaker.
Young busts out a moonsault for another near fall but he gets caught in the Crossface. He rolls out for two and nails a DDT on Roode for the same. There’s the top rope elbow but Bobby kicks out again. Eric’s piledriver is countered into a pinfall reversal sequence, capped off by Roode hitting the Roode Bomb for the pin and the title shot at 8:17.
Rating: C. The match was good but there wasn’t much emotion to this for the most part. It also doesn’t help that Young just does not feel like a main eventer and the ending wasn’t really in doubt. I’m also not a fan of how far back TNA goes for its history. They’re bringing up issues these guys had about ten years ago for the backstory and if you weren’t around back then, none of what they’re talking about makes sense.
They shake hands post match.
Lashley stares Roode down in the back.
To no one’s surprise, Team 3D picks a tables match for the second match in the tag team series. Ray has lost track of how many Tag Team Titles they’ve won.
Homicide vs. DJZ vs. Craazy Steve vs. Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Tigre Uno
Winner gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future and this is one fall to a finish. Low Ki hammers on Tigre to start before hitting a kind of spinebuster for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets the same with all four other guys making the save. Off to Manik vs.Homicide with the masked man being sent into the ropes for a tag to DJZ.
Steve comes in with a sunset flip for two on DJZ before everything breaks down. DJZ and Steve are sent to the floor with Low Ki and Tigre being backdropped after them. Manik and Homicide trade some suplex attempts until Manik jumps into a cutter. The Gringo Killa gives Homicide the title shot at 4:32.
Rating: D+. Well that happened. There’s no story, there’s no psychology, there’s absolutely nothing we haven’t seen before. This division is such a disaster at this point as it’s back to the old habit of some big multiman match to set up a one off title shot and then do it all over again. That gets really old really fast and we reached that point a long time ago.
Sanada comes in and superkicks Manik while James Storm watches from ringside. They drag the unconscious Manik to the back.
Austin Aries is in the ring to talk about his skin being green from the mist attack last week. He calls out Sanada and Storm but James insists that this is the GREAT Sanada. He welcomed Sanada with open arms, just like he will with Manik. Storm instills a vision of greatness in these people, all led by the legend himself.
Sanada is going to be the greatest man that ever came out of Japan and the man people think of instead of the Great Muta. Aries doesn’t like the word great being thrown around this much and says both guys have ticked off a lot of people. He didn’t come here alone, so here’s Tajiri to help in the fight. The good guys clean house and Storm slaps some sense into Sanada. Tajiri looks less intimidating without his goatee.
Spud isn’t sure why he’s facing Rhino but Ethan threatens to fire Spud if he doesn’t go out there.
We recap Chris Melendez’s debut last week. He debuts next Wednesday.
Rockstar Spud vs. Rhino
Rhino throws him into the corner to start and then gorilla presses him down. Spud gets in a few shots to the back and Rhino just gets mad. The Gore misses and Spud brings in a trashcan. He takes too long to pose though and the Gore ends Spud at 2:34.
Carter leaves Spud behind.
Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe
Non-title. The brawl starts on the floor with Joe sending Lashley flying off a suplex. Back in and Joe nails a few Facewashes followed by the running boot to the face. Joe puts on a guillotine choke but Lashley drives him into the corner and scores with a neckbreaker. We hit the chinlock on Joe for a bit before Lashley leapfrogs him into a clothesline. Back to the nerve hold for a few moments before Joe plants him for two. Lashley powerslams him off the top but misses the spear. Joe puts on the choke but has to deal with Kenny King. The distraction lets Lashley hit a full nelson slam and the spear for the pin at 6:43.
Rating: D+. Another watchable match but not much more than that. TNA really needs to work on its big showdowns as these matches that are supposed to be huge come off more like filler. This didn’t do anything for me and just made the X-Division Champion look weaker than the World Champion.
Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t bad but this show felt like it went on forever. The problem for TNA right now is it feels like they’re just spinning their wheels and waiting for Bound For Glory to get here, but the more shows like this, the less interesting it sounds. Other than the Aries vs. Storm feud, nothing on here feels like it matters or holds any interest. They’re just people going out there and then moving on to next week. It isn’t terrible, but there’s no emotion to it and that makes for some very long shows.
Results
Gail Kim b. Taryn Terrell – Kim rolled through a high cross body
Bram/Magnus b. Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Clip to Gunner
Bobby Roode b. Eric Young – Roode Bomb
Homicide b. Tigre Uno, Manik, DJZ, Craazy Steve and Low Ki – Gringo Killa to Manik
Rhino b. Rockstar Spud – Gore
Lashley b. Samoa Joe – Spear
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
Wrestler of the Day – September 3: Tensai
Today is old 8 3/8 himself, Albert.
Albert got his start back in 1998 and, after some work in OVW, debuted in the WWF in 1999. We’ll pick things up at the 1999 Survivor Series.
Big Show vs. Mideon/Viscera/Big Boss Man/Prince Albert
This was supposed to be Big Show and Kaientai and Blue Meanie but Show beat them up so he could do this himself. This is during Boss Man vs. Big Show, which is based around Boss Man making fun of Show for having his dad die (kayfabe). It led to a bad moment at a “funeral” where Boss Man stole the coffin and dragged Show along the ground on top of the coffin with a car. Show chokes Albert to the floor and chokeslams Mideon for the pin in less than 20 seconds. Albert is gone 10 seconds later to a chokeslam, as is Big Visc. Boss Man is like screw this and walks out. Show wins in less than 90 seconds.
Let’s try a bit longer match, from Smackdown on January 13, 2000.
Hardy Boys vs. Big Bossman/Prince Albert
This is before Lita joined the team so it’s Terri with them here. Albert is currently known as Tensai. He and Jeff get us going with Jeff having to evade a lot. Off to Matt for some successful double teaming on the current Japanese enthusiast. Albert gets Matt up for a spinning rack neckbreaker and it’s off to Bossman. He beats Matt down even more and kidnaps Terri which goes nowhere. Everything breaks down and Jeff avoids a charging Albert, sending him into Bossman. Albert and Bossman had been arguing a lot lately so while they fight some more, Jeff dropkicks Bossman into Alberto and rolls him up for the pin.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here really but it was all about splitting up Albert and Bossman for good, which needed to be done. Bossman would do nothing of note while Albert would join T&A which gave us some very hot shots of Trish Stratus. The match was nothing of note though and was just there as a means to an end.
We’ll head back to PPV now with Backlash 2000 as Albert is now part of T&A with Test.
T&A vs. Dudley Boys
Brawl to start of course and Bubba chases Trish around on the floor. Albert and D-Von get us going with the future Japanese bore taking control. D-Von takes him down for two and I have no idea who the faces are and who the heels are here. Off to Bubba who takes his head off with a clothesline. That and an elbow drop both get two. Off to D-Von and the Dudleys hit a double suplex and the yet to be named What’s Up.
Albert comes back with a bicycle kick and it’s off to Test. Double splashes in the corner get two on D-Von. I could listen to Bubba Dudley yell from an apron all day. I’d get pretty bored but I certainly could do it. The big evil (I think?) ones double team D-Von. Albert slams Test onto D-Von and shouts to TESTIFY TO THAT. Bubba: “SHUT UP!” The fans of course want tables but D-Von gets a neckbreaker on Test instead.
The referee misses the tag to Bubba and the beating continues. Albert hits his slingshot into the bottom rope for two. A sunset flip out of nowhere gets two for D-Von, but he’s quickly powerbombed for the same. The fans want tables and Trish isn’t sure what to think. Albert goes up but Bubba distracts him, allowing D-Von to hit a superplex and make the hot tag.
Reverse 3D (called the 3D by JR of course) gets two. Baldo Bomb kills Bubba but D-Von pulls him away from the big elbow. The Dudleys load up the REAL 3D (as in Bubba gets a running start) but Trish offers a distraction by taking her jacket off and shaking her hips. Keep in mind that this is before Trish let herself go in 2001/2002, and yes I said that right. That lets Test kick Bubba’s head off for the pin.
Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.
Time for a six man tag on Raw, June 5, 2000.
Rikishi/Too Cool vs. T&A/Val Venis
Too Cool are tag team champions here. That’s one of the great things about this time period: Too Cool got WAY over while feuding with the Radicals over the spring and the company saw potential in them. Instead of jobbing them out for months, they gave them the tag titles at the end of May as a reward, while also giving them extra credibility. Today you would see them jobbed out in stupid comedy matches or left off television entirely for getting over against the writers’ wishes. I mean, why would you want to have the wrestlers get over themselves, therefore doing the writers’ work for them?
Test and Scotty start things off with Mr. Hotty clotheslining Test down and bringing in Grandmaster for their double elbow. Albert (Tensai) comes in and tries to ram Grandmaster into the buckle but pulls his hat off instead. A middle rope dropkick puts Albert down and it’s off to Val vs. Rikishi, but the other big men triple team the Samoan down. Albert tries a sunset flip but Rikishi sits his 400lbs down on his chest. Everything breaks down and Scotty hits the Worm on Test, followed by the Hip Hop Drop (top rope legdrop) but there’s no referee. In the confusion, Val hits Grandmaster with a title belt for the pin.
Rating: D. This didn’t do anything for me although I forgot how stunning Trish was at this point. I’m also not clear on the reason behind having Too Cool win the titles last week and then lose in a six man here. The match wasn’t much but it would set up two different feuds in the future so it’s not all bad.
Back to Backlash as Albert is now part of the X Factor team.
Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor
Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.
Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.
Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.
Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.
Albert would get in on the InVasion and took the Intercontinental Title from Kane in a match that is hard to find in full. Here’s a defense from Raw on July 9, 2001.
Intercontinental Title: Rhyno vs. Albert
Slugout to start (I’m as shocked as you are) with Rhyno stomping the champ down into the corner. Pac runs in while Albert has the referee and superkicks Rhyno for two. Rhyno manages to get in a shot to buy himself some time and they slug it out for a bit. Belly to back suplex and a top rope splash combine for two. The Gore misses though and the Baldo Bomb is countered. Pac comes in and gets Gored. The distraction lets a bicycle kick keep the title on Albert.
Rating: D+. Back to back power matches probably isn’t a good idea but it wasn’t all that bad. Albert is a guy that was on the roll of his life at this point but soon enough he’d be just another guy in the Alliance war. Not much to see here but they were at least trying to make a new star with him as he beat up various power guys.
Albert would appear on the post 9/11 episode of Smackdown.
X-Factor vs. APA
X-Factor is X-Pac and Albert. Pac has the Light Heavyweight and Cruiserweight Titles. Pac vs. Farrooq to start us off with the tiny guy getting hammered down very quickly. Pac gets some kicks in and here’s Bradshaw, making the tiny guy run. Off to Albert vs. Bradshaw and down goes Albert to a big boot. JR talks about dipping Bradshaw’s fist in barbecue sauce.
Vader Bomb by Albert misses and it’s off to Simmons. BIG bicycle kick takes his head down as JR is planning a road trip with Heyman to Oklahoma. Spinebuster takes Pac down and it’s back to Bradshaw vs. Albert. Fallaway Slam sends X-Pac flying. Albert misses a splash and the Clothesline From JBL (complete with a Hook Em Horns sign) ends this with relative ease.
Rating: C-. Pretty weak match but the commentary was hilarious. I have no idea if they were talking in code or if this was just random chatter to fill in time but it cracked me up. JR can be funny when he’s not taking himself far too seriously. The APA was far past their prime here but they could still fight.
Another tag team match at Vengeance 2001.
Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Christian/Test
GO BACK TO THE OLD GUYS! Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at the moment. Egads. They aren’t the Unamericans yet. And the Heat match was the APA vs. Billy and Chuck. Why can’t we see that instead? You know these reviews aren’t really as angry as they used to be. Granted that could be because these shows are far less insulting to my intelligence. They may be weaker shows but they’re competent at least which is more than a lot of shows give you.
Christian is European Champion at the time. Albert is the Hip Hop Hippo at this point. Take me now. And remember people: this guy was INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. He was one of those guys that always seemed like was on the verge of a big push but it never happened. Lawler makes some bad jokes about potential names for the faces. He’s just making this more painful if that’s somehow possible. Wow it’s weird seeing Teddy Long as a worthless referee.
Far more used to him being a useless GM. Scotty and Test work the majority of this match for reasons that completely elude me. Oh look it’s Albert vs. Christian rather than Test vs. Albert, as in you know, FORMER TAG PARTNERS FIGHTING. I guess that would make too much sense. We get a Giant Swing and a Don Leo Jonathan reference. Wow indeed. Albert just massacres both heels.
With some tweeking to his gimmick, he could have been passable. And now Christian does the Worm. We get a surprisingly decent sequence as Scotty is down. And of course we get the Worm. These kinds of moves are just stupid. A simple bulldog keeps Test down for about 20 seconds which it takes for the setup for it? See why that’s idiotic? Baldo Bomb, a two handed chokeslam into a powerbomb, ends it. It actually got a pop.
Rating: D. Just…why? What in the world was the point of having this match on PPV? This was something that belonged on Velocity or Heat or something like that. It was as generic as you could ask a match to be also. This was just a head scratcher and not that good, especially on a pay per view.
Albert spent a lot of time on the low level weekend shows in 2002. We’ll pick things up at Armageddon 2002 with Albert now known as A-Train.
Edge vs. A-Train
A-Train is freshly renamed here. I think this is Survivor Series fallout. Oh never mind. Actually it was an attack on Smackdown as A-Train is trying to get noticed I guess. Edge has a torn MCL which doesn’t need surgery. A-Train also injured Rey and put him out so this is also a revenge match. Train takes over with power to start but gets sent into the post shoulder first. Edge goes for the knee of course but you can’t do everything right I guess.
Train gets a powerslam for two and the power beating is on. Off to the chinlock as I guess three minutes of action was too much for Train. Edge hammers him into the corner but can’t get very far with it. After a near fall Edge hits a pretty cool move with a spinning Edge-O-Matic off the middle rope. Something off the top jumps into a bicycle kick so Train goes for a chair. That fails and a top rope cross body gets two. Chokebomb gets two. Train grabs the chair again but a spear hits him, surprisingly only for two. And never mind as a chair to the bad knee of Edge ends this in a DQ.
Rating: D+. WWE was in a weird place here as the Smackdowns were incredibly and were giving up 10-15 minute awesome matches so they had to have matches like these somewhere. Pretty much nothing here as Train was awful as usual and Edge was good but not a miracle worker. The ending sucked too.
A-Train would hook up with Big Show to try and end Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania XIX.
Undertaker vs. A-Train/Big Show
Taker avoids a sneak attack to start and hits a quick chokeslam on A-Train for two. Big Show pulls him to the floor though and will be starting it seems. Taker has to fight out of the wrong corner and it’s quickly off to A-Train. The dead man busts out a LEAPFROG of all things before taking A-Train down with a back elbow. Old School hits but Taker has to punch Big Show instead of covering.
The Derailer (chokebomb) puts Taker down and Big Show rams him into the post for good measure. Back in and A-Train hits a slingshot into the middle rope for two. Big Show comes in again and all Taker can do is throw desperate right hands. A Big Show chokeslam is countered into a Fujiwara Armbar of all things but A-Train comes in to break it up. Taker throws him in a cross armbreaker but Big Show legdrops him to take control.
Off to an abdominal stretch by Big Show to slow things down a bit. A-Train adds in some cheating before coming in for an abdominal stretch of his own. Now Taker counters into one of his own to complete the set (You can own them all!), only to have A-Train hip toss his way out of it. A-Train clotheslines him down and talks some LOUD trash before Taker comes back with right hands. A running DDT gets two for Taker but it’s back to Big Show.
Taker is like screw this defense stuff and pounds away on Big Show in the corner before running across the ring over and over for clotheslines to both guys. The jumping clothesline puts Show down but a bicycle kick from A-Train puts him down all over again. There’s a Big Show chokeslam but here’s Nathan Jones in the aisle to knock out Big Show with a spin kick. Jones come in and kicks A-Train down, setting up the Tombstone to continue the Streak.
Rating: C. Another not bad match here with Taker doing what he could with two guys this size. It was kind of slow, but there’s only so much you can do with this kind of a clash of styles and no partner for the Dead Man. While definitely not memorable or anything, it did well enough at what it was supposed to do, bad musical number aside.
We’ll wrap up the first WWE run at No Mercy 2003.
A-Train vs. Chris Benoit
A-Train got probably the biggest push of his career at this point as he was in the midcard. This would more or less be the last part of said push. Tazz: “They love pierced nipples in Denmark.” Benoit tries to go for the knee but A-Train runs him over with the power. Train throws him to the floor again and Benoit isn’t sure what to do with him. A-Train takes over again and pounds him down, hitting a splash for two.
We talk about Stu Hart dying three days before this as A-Train stomps away even more. Cole praises him as he always does while Train pounds on Benoit’s neck in the corner. He hits that slingshot into the middle rope move he used most of the time to further work on Benoit’s neck. Train loads up a Pedigree grip but lifts Benoit into the air and drives Benoit’s head into his knee, getting two and a busted mouth for the Wolverine.
Benoit fires back but Train rams him down with a double ax to the chest. Off to a bow and arrow hold but Benoit speeds things up and hits a DDT to slow the Train down. In a big change of pace, the American hits a German on the Canadian to put him down. A-Train goes to the floor and pulls in a chair. Train tries something on Benoit but Benoit tries to slide down into a sunset flip. Instead, Benoit falls and lands ON HIS HEAD on the chair. FREAKING OW MAN!!!
Benoit grabs the Crossface but A-Train counters. Instead it’s Rolling Germans time but A-Train gets up and slams him off the top to counter the Swan Dive. The bald one mocks the Benoit throat slit signal and looks to go up. He realizes how crazy that would be and comes down for a Derailer (chokebomb) instead. That only gets two so he loads up the bicycle kick. He kicks through the chair in the corner though, making Benoit dragon screw him and the Sharpshooter gets the tap.
Rating: C. This was better than I would have expected, but then again it’s Benoit against a big monster. That’s probably what he’s second best at and it worked well here. A-Train wouldn’t mean anything after this and after Benoit took everything he had, I can’t say I disagree with that. Decent match but I’m not sure it belonged on PPV.
A-Train would head to Japan in 2005 and call himself Giant Bernard. We’ll pick things up in NJPW on May 3, 2006.
IWGP World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Giant Bernard
Brock is defending and is wearing red for some reason. Bernard powers him into the corner but gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. They stare each other down and Bernard takes Brock’s head off with a clothesline. Another one puts the champion on the floor but he sends Bernard face first into the post. Back in and Brock stomps away but Bernard takes him down and drives in forearms to the head.
Lesnar works on a Fujiwara Armbar before muscling him over in a belly to belly. Brock follows him to the floor but gets knocked off the apron coming back in. Back in and Brock puts on the armbar again before driving pounding with forearms in the corner. Bernard comes back with some shoulders to the ribs and a Baldo Bomb for two. A big boot drops Lesnar again and a Vader Bomb gets two. The F5 is countered and Bernard nails a German suplex for two. Brock is all like, THIS IS HOW YOU DO A GERMAN and even plants Bernard with a DDT. They slug it out and Lesnar muscles him up for the F5 to retain.
Rating: C. Nice power brawl here but Bernard wasn’t much better than he was over in America. This was an awkward period for Lesnar as he didn’t look as dominant as he did in WWE and wasn’t the superstar he would become later. He looked decent but it didn’t have anywhere near the fire that he was known for.
Here’s another big Japan match from February 15, 2009.
Giant Bernard vs. Kurt Angle
Bernard throws him down to start so Angle tries right hands to the jaw. That earns him another shove to the floor so Angle can have a breather. Back in and he kicks at Bernard’s knee but gets throw right back across the ring. Bernard chokes a lot and Bernard’s partner Tomko trips Angle up. Someone that looks like Karl Anderson chases Tomko off and they head back out to the floor so Angle can be sent into the barricade.
Back in and a delayed vertical suplex gets two for Bernard and we hit the choking again. Angle gets thrown to the mat one more time and a splash gets two. Bernard hooks a bodyscissors on Angle before choking even more. Kurt rolls to the apron and gets suplexed back in. We hit the bearhug for a bit before Bernard’s Vader Bomb hits knees. Angle rolls some Germans but walks into the Baldo Bomb for two.
Bernard kicks out of the ankle lock but gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle misses the moonsault and another Baldo Bomb gets two. Back to the ankle lock but Chono and Anderson get in a fight on the floor for a distraction. Anderson comes in but accidentally kicks Bernard, allowing the Angle Slam and ankle lock to make Bernard tap.
Rating: C. This was basically a Bernard squash until the last few minutes. Angle was doing all his old favorites here and it was already getting old at this point. Bernard still doesn’t feel like anything interesting and more like the same guy he was in America but having longer matches. Not bad here but nothing great.
We’ll jump ahead a few years to another big match for Bernard, though this time as part of a tag team. From Wrestle Kingdom V on January 4, 2011.
IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Bad Intentions vs. Muscle Orchestra
You know Beer Money. Muscle Orchestra is a pair of very big guys with big muscles, and Bad Intentions are the champions and are comprised of Karl Anderson, a member of the Anderson family allegedly, and Giant Bernard, more commonly known as Albert/A-Train. JB does the intros here. The Muscle Orchestra is Strong Man (why give him a fancy name I guess?) and Manabu Nakanishi. Strong Man is American so this one is easy.
Bad Intentions have guns with them. Well that’s certainly different. Both are Americans also. Beer Money jumps them as they get into the ring and the brawl is on early. Champions vs. Muscle Orchestra now as there are a lot of F Bombs being audibly dropped. Beer Money back in as the champions are down. Storm gets a Codebreaker to Strong Man and then an assisted plancha to the same guy.
Anderson gets a big tope con hilo to take out Storm and the other muscle guy. Bernard (called A-Train to help my memory) teases a dive but Nakanishi gets a press slam out of the corner on him. That was very impressive. I have no idea what the tagging rules are here. Both of Beer Money is in there at the same time and it seems to be ok. Storm chokes Anderson with the wrist tape to take over and be heel here.
Total dominance by the TNA guys here. Double suplex gets no cover and it’s time for BEER MONEY! In an awesome moment, A-Train gets up, shouts (and remember his big voice) a very bad word and kills them with a double clothesline. A big boot to Roode would work much better if it clearly didn’t miss by almost a foot. A splash to Storm gets two.
Train is killing it in there. He’s beating up Beer Money on his own. Double teaming takes him down though and Anderson has to make the save. Out of nowhere Nakanishi takes down Roode with a top rope dropkick. Strongmen vs. Beer Money now. The muscleheads seem to be the fan favorites here. The Muscle Orchestra (awesome name) gets matching Torture Racks on the champions.
German by the Japanese guys gets two as Storm saves. DWI on said Japanese guys gets two as Anderson saves. Another very bad word results in Train getting a double splash in the corner. Double team DDT by Beer Money takes down Anderson for two. It’s beer bottle time but Anderson ducks. Anderson gets a move that we completely don’t see but apparently he uses a Diamond Cutter at times so we’ll say it was that, to pin Roode to retain.
Rating: C. Another fun match, but we need to get to some meat here. The lack of tagging hurt it here as this was completely insane the entire time. It’s a fun match, but at times you want something more than two guys double teaming and then a save for 9 minutes. Still though, decent stuff but too much of an insane match for my taste.
It was back to WWE soon after this as Tensai, a guy who used to wrestle in Japan. He was off to a hot start though, including this match on Raw, April 16, 2012.
John Cena vs. ???
It’s Lord Tensai and this is Extreme Rules. Cena grabs a quick suplex but Tensai beats him up. Cena’s shorts look a little shorter here. A corner splash puts Cena on the floor and Tensai puts him into the steps. A powerbomb on the floor is countered and Cena gets the steps. Tensai’s dude drills Cena with kicks and Otunga throws him back in. Butterfly suplex gets two.
Tensai hooks a nerve hold but Cena fights back. Cena hits his usual stuff but when he loads up the Shuffle, Tensai pops up and chops Cena down. Backsplash gets two. Tensai drops a leg on the arm and puts on a Fujiwara Armbar. Sweet goodness there’s some crank on that thing. Cena rolls through into a crossface (called the STF by Cole) and Otunga runs in. There’s an AA for him but Cena walks into green mist and a Baldo Bomb for the pin at 7:00.
Rating: D+. At the end of the day, he’s Albert in red trunks. That doesn’t make him interesting or anything like that. It makes him slow and not someone that I want to watch. I don’t see the logic in having Cena lose AGAIN before a major showdown with Brock, but to be fair he can lose a few matches and not lose any credibility.
And this one on May 7, 2012.
CM Punk vs. Lord Tensai/Daniel Bryan
No entrances for the heels to save some time. Tensai starts off and uses the power to put Punk down. Off to Bryan who gets a reaction from the crowd. He fires off the kicks to the chest and shouts YES on each one. Punk escapes a suplex and rolls him up for two. They cross body each other and both guys are down. Tensai comes in for more power and they head to the floor with Punk’s back going into the post.
Back in now and it’s time for a Japanese nerve hold. Backsplash gets two and it’s off to Bryan but the Swan Dive misses. Bryan reaches for a tag but gets caught in a slingshot. Punk makes what I guess you can call a comeback with a neckbreaker. The knee and bulldog combination actually works and it’s GTS time. Bryan escapes and tags in Tensai who clotheslines Punk’s head off very slowly. GTS to Tensai is countered but Punk manages the high kick. Tensai’s dude gets up for a distraction and Bryan crotches Punk. The chokebomb is totally messed up and the Mist Claw with the legsweep gets the pin at 6:54.
Rating: C. Tensai is boring and that’s all there is to it. The guy just isn’t an interesting wrestler and no matter how Japanese they make him it’s not going to happen. He’s big and slow with a bad finisher in the claw. Use the chokebomb (if you can do it right) and be a monster like you look like. Punk vs. Bryan is going to be good.
That would be about it for Tensai meaning anything so we’ll pick stuff up on Raw, April 22, 2013.
Tensai vs. Cody Rhodes
Tensai throws Cody around to start and drops him with a right hand to the face. A delayed double underhook suplex gets two for Tensai but Cody comes back with a neckbreaker and a front facelock. The Disaster Kick gets two and it’s back to the front facelock for a bit. Tensai fights back and pounds away before hitting the rolling cannonball attack in the corner. Sandow gets on the apron for a distraction but gets crushed by Brodus. A Baldo Bomb puts Cody down and the running backsplash gets the pin at 3:34.
Rating: D. This just kept going and going with nothing interesting at all. Again, the feud was over weeks ago but it’s an England show tonight so we need to backtrack by about a month to make sure we don’t have anything new going on. The match was bad on top of the story being old.
One more match with Tensai fighting a dancer. From Smackdown, December 21, 2013.
Brodus Clay vs. Tensai
Tensai takes him into the corner and drives shoulders into Brodus’ ample gut. A clothesline drops Clay but he avoids the backsplash. Clay hits a pair of splashes in the corner and a running splash gets two. Another splash gets no cover and Brodus does the dinosaur claws dance. Cue the Funkadactyls with Xavier Woods for the distraction and, say it with me, Tensai rolls Brodus up for the pin at 1:45. I have no idea how this is supposed to help either guy but I’m sure it will be explained to me later.
Overall Albert is a talented guy but he really isn’t anything more than a good enforcer. I had a feeling that all this hype about him being great in Japan wasn’t going to hold up and that’s exactly what happened. He’s fine as the power half of a tag team and that’s been where he’s had his greatest success. Other than that he’s just a big, slow power guy with a good look. He certainly isn’t bad or anything like that but there’s nothing that makes me want to see more of him.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
TNA Putting House Shows On Hold Indefinitely
The signs continue to mount up. It’s a bad sign when the best way to save money is to not have the wrestlers perform. They’ll have TV up to BFG but after that is up in the air. Things are really looking bad for TNA right now and they’re practically circling the drain.
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 1, 2014
Raw was a holiday show this week and it was a mess like it almost always is. However this week went further into the drek than it’s gone in a long time. I’m sure you’ve heard all of the problems already but I don’t think I accurately described how horrible it really was. Let’s get to it.
We started with the traditional long interview with a backdrop of the Highlight Reel. Jericho’s guest was supposed to be Randy Orton but he got every male member of the Authority instead. HHH talked about how he was considering changing Brock’s opponent for Night of Champions. Everyone suggested they should get the shot in Cena’s place.
This of course drew out Cena to say he’s going to be ready and he actually threatened a lawsuit if HHH changed things. We can file this in the category of STUPID IDEAS THAT WWE USES EVERY FREAKING MONTH AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY CUT IT OUT ALREADY! Anyway, Cena talks about how he’ll be COO and will fire HHH if he changes the match. HHH laughs this off and says he knows Cena has changed. Orton took the mic and insulted Reigns, which of course brought him down. The obvious six man was made as a way for HHH to determine who wants it the most.
We got a good midcard tag match with the champions Dolph Ziggler/Sheamus vs. their respective challengers in The Miz/Cesaro. The wrestling wasn’t bad but the ending was creative. Miz (who had a makeup lady and director’s chair) tagged in his stunt double Damien Mizdow to take the Zig Zag with him. Ziggler got caught up in the heat of the moment and got caught by the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.
There’s an actual story here and it’s getting interesting for the most part. That’s a rare thing for the midcard scene and it’s very refreshing. Miz continues to nail this character. He won’t be World Champion but it’s a great midcard character for him to rebuild his career. I’ve always been a fan of the guy and it’s good to see him getting another chance like this.
Now we get to the part of the show that everyone hated. Well one of them at least. We got the first of the Growing Up Bella segments, which consisted of Nikki telling stories about how horrible Brie was growing up. These ranged from Brie stealing her prom date, costing Nikki her driver’s license and wrecking their car to Nikki taking Brie’s high school exams for her.
These were treated like the most dramatic moments in history and as you would expect, Nikki Bella ruined any drama they could have had. This is the problem with the whole Bella storys (among other things): the Bellas can’t act and the stories are so over the top that they can’t be taken seriously. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about whatever nonsense they had like fifteen years ago or however long it was. I understand that this is to make people watch Total Divas, but for the love of all things good and holy, if this is what is popular on reality TV, I shudder at the future of the human race.
In case you didn’t get it the first time, we had a horrible eight Divas tag to promote the show even more. It lasted a minute and ended in a big brawl. Again, I understand that it’s cross promotion, but this is making the whole division look like an even bigger joke than it ever has, and that’s covering a lot of ground.
Mark Henry and Big Show beat the Wyatts via DQ when Rusev interfered. This is the third time these teams have fought in a few weeks and these matches are getting weaker every time. It’s not that they’re bad, but they’ve pretty much done everything they could to each other at this point so why would I want to see them fight even more?
Michael Sam was invited to Raw next week. Even though he hadn’t accepted yet and there was a very solid chance he could get signed to an NFL practice squad, WWE put him on a graphic saying next week. This screams of desperation and a way to make people care about them when Monday Night Football debuts next week. Instead of having good action, they’re resorting to gimmicks because they’ve wasted so much stuff over the last few months.
Oh and Sam signed with the Dallas Cowboys so he’s not going to be on Raw, making the whole thing a waste of time.
Recap of last week with Cena, Lesnar and Heyman’s promos.
Heyman talked about how hard Cena is working but insists it won’t matter. Short and sweet here.
Jack Swagger beat Curtis Axel in a short match with the Patriot Lock. After the match, Bo Dallas had three people talk about how Swagger ruined their lives by losing to Rusev. This was a hilarious bit and makes me like Dallas even more. Just like the tag match earlier, it’s nice to see the midcard getting some attention. Above all else though, they’re actually using some fresh stories instead of the same nonsense over and over.
Adam Rose beat Titus O’Neil in a nothing match that was more focused on Heath Slater vs. the bunny. Again, instead of doing something interesting or important, this is what we get on Raw.
Rusev squashed Ryder and got chased off by Mark Henry. More filler but at least it helped build a story and made sense given what happened earlier.
Stephanie brought out Nikki Bella and gave her a Divas Title shot. Brie came out and they did their usual schtick with Nikki ranting about Bryan leaving Brie one day and Nikki will be the Bella everyone is talking about. AJ Lee came out and talked about how she’s the #1 contender and how she’s getting the shot. Paige came out and said she’s the Divas Champion but Nikki and Brie took over the segment again with Nikki shouting that she’ll forgive Brie if she quits again and doesn’t come back. Brie shoved Nikki down and left, AJ picked up the title but handed it back to Stephanie, and Paige just kind of looked around.
Somehow that segment took the better part of fifteen minutes. Again, this is designed to make people care about Total Divas and give the show drama, but now it’s looking like it’s taking over the Divas Title as well. Everything Paige and AJ have done is being sacrificed for the sake of giving the producers of the most overly scripted reality show I’ve ever seen extra drama. We now get to listen to the Bellas talk about betrayal and all their drama and dear goodness is it going to be bad.
At the end of the day, the biggest problem is this leads to Nikki vs. Brie, likely in a major match. If I stretch, I might be able to think of three Bella matches that are worth watching. They’re just not good workers but it’s going to be a big focus of the shows going forward because we need more drama for Total Divas. The match is going to be a disaster because it’s going to be treated like the most important thing ever and the overacting is going to cripple it. It’s not exactly Once In A Lifetime or the Mega Powers Exploding and the build is horrible. But hey, the ratings for Total Divas might be up because there’s a huge crossover there right?
Jericho vs. Wyatt in a cage next week so Bray talked about a rat running from a snake.
Goldust beat Jimmy Uso in another nothing match. Goldust crushed Jey’s already injured knee after the match to cement the heel turn.
Big Show told Henry he’d have his back against Rusev but Henry wants to do it himself. This seems to set up Show’s latest heel turn.
The six man main event was fine and built on the story of Cena finally getting in and cleaning house. However, after he got the tag and destroyed everyone, Cena tagged out to Reigns for the spear and the pin. There really wasn’t much great here but the match was long and the first good wrestling we had all night.
Raw this week was a borderline disaster and a lot of it was due to the Bellas. I’ve said it a few dozen times now, but the Bellas are not good actresses and the story isn’t working. It’s just so overdone and overexposed and the rest of the company is suffering as a result. This is the same problem that TNA often has: if you don’t like this story, don’t bother watching the show because it’s what you’re getting. Raw was basically three stories: Cena vs. Authority, Henry vs. Rusev and the Bellas with the other stuff just being there to fill in time. That doesn’t make a good three hour show and it’s really causing a lot of problems week to week.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: