Lucha Underground Date: July 22, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
Ultima Lucha is almost upon us and the major story is Mil Muertes casually destroying Prince Puma last week. The title match seems to be inevitable but you never can tell with this promotion. Well you can if you read the spoilers but that’s just cheating. We also need to find out who the final medallion winner will be so let’s get to it.
The opening recap covers Texano vs. Blue Demon Jr. over who really is Mexico. Not Mexican remember, but the entire country of Mexico.
Big Ryck is in Dario Cueto’s office where the boss thinks Ryck has lost focus and has been blinded by Daivari’s money. Cueto holds up the last medallion and asks what’s more important, money or power. Ryck says he can have both and gets the medallion and a roll of cash. They finally see eye to eye.
Johnny Mundo vs. Texano
This could be good. The fans chant JOHNNY ZERO but change it up to a standard Texano chant. Mundo hides in a corner like he should do as a heel before kicking Texano in the face to take over. Texano kicks him right back for two and the fans are way behind the good guy here. Johnny comes right back and heads outside for a neckbreaker onto the floor in a nice looking move.
Back in and the running knee to the head quiets the JOHNNY ZERO chants, followed by a chinlock. That goes nowhere so Texano fires off a chop. Johnny ducks a second so Texano chops him in the back for a nice spot. A Rough Ryder gets two on Johnny but he blasts Texano with a Flying Chuck for two. Texano fights back again but the Crew comes in to beat him down for the DQ.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but they were just trading kicks to the head for most of the time. I still like Texano and Mundo looks like the biggest star in the world (see what I did there?) around here. Nice little match here but it was there to set up the post match stuff instead of anything else.
Alberto makes the save and has a staredown with Texano but they both walk away.
Hernandez is in Dario’s office (and somewhere you can hear Dixie Carter crying) when Cueto says he’s splitting Ultima Lucha into two weeks. I’m not wild on the idea but it’s all they could do given their timeslot. As for Hernandez, he’ll be on the card in a match against Drago, but since so many fans hate him, they’ll be around the ring with straps. Hernandez doesn’t seem worried.
The Mack vs. Cage
Mack pinned Cage a few weeks back so this is a chance for revenge. Cage fires off a bunch of clotheslines to start….and gets sunset flipped out of the corner for a pin in less than 45 seconds. Dang it stop hurting your big stars.
They brawl on the floor and into the crowd until Dario comes out to make a hardcore match for Ultima Lucha with their match taking place next week. Dario isn’t done though as he’s going to explain the Aztec medallions after the break.
Back from a break with Dario in the ring and a new title belt next to him. The belt has slots for all seven medallions lined up across the middle in a kind of hideous design. It’s the Gift of the Gods Title, which is good for a Lucha Underground Title match anytime, as long as you give Cueto a one week notice so he can properly promoted. On top of that though, you’re going to have to defend the title if you take your time. Now we need a first champion, so everyone who has a medallion needs to come to the ring.
This brings out Jack Evans, Aerostar, King Cuerno, Bengala, Sexy Star, and Big Ryck. Everyone puts their medallion into the belt but since there’s no Fenix, we have an open medallion. That can’t work, so let’s have a battle royal where the final two will have a regular match for the medallion. Cue the returning Fenix, who is quickly put into the battle royal. I like the concept of the Gift of the Gods Title, with the one week idea being a very welcome change.
Battle Royal
Fenix, Kill Shot, Marty Martinez, Argenis, Famous B., Mascarita Sagrada, Vinny Massaro, Delavar Daivari, Super Fly, Ricky Mandel
Remember that it’s a battle royal until the final two, when it’s pin or submission. Fenix is in a shirt over his tights for some reason. It’s a brawl to start with Famous B. Pedigreeing Mandel and dropping a legdrop. Mandel is quickly tossed and Argenis is sent out as well. Daivari kicks Kill Shot out, followed by a slugout between Famous B. and Massaro as the fans try to remember who either guy is. Sagrada monkey flips Super Fly out but eliminates himself in the process.
We’re down to Famous B., Martinez, Daivari and Fenix. Martinez and Daivari double team B. out but Fenix quickly tosses Daivari, leaving us with Marty vs. Fenix for the medallion. Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Marty hits a quick dropkick for two and Fenix rolls outside, where Marty isn’t willing to try a big dive. Back in and a Tajiri handspring elbow drops Marty, setting up a springboard wristdrag. They horribly botch a hurricanrana but it’s still good enough for Fenix to get a pin.
Rating: D+. The best part here was they kept it quick (about seven minutes total) when there it was obvious that Fenix was going to win. Fenix is probably the odds on favorite to win the title at Ultima Lucha but it should at least offer him some better competition than this did. Not bad, but it was pretty much just waiting seven minutes before the obvious.
Fenix puts his medallion inside the belt.
We run down the Ultima Lucha card.
Here’s Prince Puma for the hard sell before the title match. He’s about to speak for the first time (really? He didn’t talk back in the day?) but Katrina and Muertes (rocking a suit) cut him off before he can say a word. The Disciples of Death run in but Puma fights them off to stare at Muertes again. Mil gets in but Puma kicks him in the face, setting up the 630 to end the show. This was the kind of thing they needed to do with Puma as it’s been one sided to Muertes so far.
Overall Rating: C+. Not a great wrestling show but a solid push towards the biggest show of the year. That’s exactly what a go home show is supposed to be and they mostly nailed it here. It’s also nice to see what the Gift of the Gods Title is after all the weeks of hyping it up and the idea actually works well. Throw in Fenix returning and Puma finally getting one up on Muertes and I’m ready to see Ultima Lucha.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling Date: July 22, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
We have a boss to counter the Reign of Carter now as Bully Ray was appointed the new man in charge last week. That leaves us in need of a new challenger as Kurt Angle is on the shelf, meaning we might be getting someone new in the main event scene. Other than that though, we have the fallout of Eli Drake turning on his former Rising teammate, Drew Galloway, after costing him the World Title last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with the announcement of the newest inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame. In the biggest surprise of all time, it’s Jeff Jarrett. The video treats him like a demigod but at least it’s a name that belongs in the Hall of Fame.
Tonight we’ll be seeing the King of the Mountain match from Slammiversary, likely due to the Hernandez issue.
Bram vs. Magnus
This is a street fight joined in progress with Magnus chopping away. A superplex plants Bram again and Magnus boots him in the face. This has been one sided so far. Bram finally gets an opening as Magnus goes for weapons, allowing Bram to score with a cookie sheet shot to the head. Magnus comes back with some weapon shots of his own but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Spine Shaker only gets a close two. Bram hits Magnus low and grabs a rollup for the pin at 6:37, likely writing Magnus off TV.
Rating: C-. Well there’s a gimmick match for the sake of having a gimmick match, which is one of the last things you want to see in a wrestling company. At least there’s a backstory between these guys, but it’s been a good while since they were even feuding. Not a bad brawl, but I don’t know why it happened.
Post match James Storm comes out and tells Magnus that the partner is revealed tonight.
Here’s Eli Drake with his crutch. Drake keeps saying his name slowly so we all get it as he starts talking about finally being allowed to stand out here alone. Drew finally got Drake’s foot in the door here and Eli was grateful, but Drew would NEVER SHUT UP about the Rising. You had Mica nodding his head like the puppet he was but Drew kept trying to do the talking for him.
The fans might have been stunned at what he did, but they’re all like him. Everyone here has called in to work sick when they were fine. Everyone here has friends just because those people can get them things. There are women here who are with men justbecause they can pay their bills. Galloway will never be TNA Champion because Drake won’t let him, so here’s Drew to interrupt.
Drew talks about people thinking he’s older than he really is (he turned 30 last month) because he’s been around the world so many times. He’s been talking to the fans about what they want him to do, and the results are clear. The fight is on with Drake missing a crutch swing but taking Drew down with elbows to the back of the head. The Future Shock sends Eli running to the floor and they’ll fight another day. Drake has a very basic character but he plays it well and sounds confident. I dug what I saw here and hopefully he can back up the good presence in the ring.
Taryn Terrell interrupts a Pit Wars (Destination America show) plug by shoving over a grill and demanding her title back. The six sides of steel has been lowered and the Dollhouse gets inside. Taryn screeches a lot until Brooke comes out and says Taryn did all of this to herself. The fans are all that matters in this company and Taryn can’t stand when they chant for her. Brooke makes fun of the screaming and says Taryn must be mad at herself. Taryn goes after her but here’s Gail Kim in the cage to beat up Marti and Jade. Gail beats them up and stares at Taryn and that’s about it.
From Slammiversary 2015 (the full version instead of the clipped one):
King of the Mountain Title: Drew Galloway vs. Eric Young vs. Bobby Roode vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett
It’s the old Legends/TV/Global Title with a new plate. The rules here aren’t exactly simple. You win by climbing the ladder and hanging the title, but in order to do that you have to earn a fall to be qualified with falls counting anywhere. Whoever is pinned must go to a penalty box for two minutes. We get big match intros with JB saying Drew is standing in the corner to his left. He’s kneeling but close enough. Jarrett is introduced by his old nickname: the King of the Mountain.
Jarrett stands back as everyone brawls to start. It’s Roode going after Jarrett first but eating a backdrop, followed by Young taking a beating as well. Jarrett goes for a strut but Roode rolls him up for a pin to become eligible and to send Jarrett to the penalty box for two minutes. Matt Side Effects Roode for two as Jarrett escapes….only to be covered by Young to become eligible. Everyone brawls inside and get sent into the ladder until Jarrett gets out.
Young hits Jarrett low but gets rolled up by Galloway for a pin. Matt hits a Twist of Fate for a pin on Roode at the same time, sending both Young and Roode to the box at the same time. Only Jarrett is unqualified at this point. Hardy and Galloway fight on the ladder (yeah remember the whole ladder part of this match?) but Jeff shoves them both down and Strokes Galloway for two with Hardy making the save.
Jeff covers Matt for two more as Young and Roode are making a pact in the box. Both guys get out and clean house before stopping to sing O Canada as we flash back ten years. Young tries to turn on Roode and gets Cactus Clotheslined out to the floor. Galloway and Hardy go to the ropes but get powerbombed down by Jarrett, only to have Roode and Young steal pins to keep Jarrett ineligible. It’s a three way fight now with Young vs. Roode vs. Jarrett with Eric getting the best of it and grabbing a guitar, only to have Jeff take it away and knock Bobby silly to become eligible.
Galloway and Hardy get out and fight over possession of the belt but knock each other down, leaving Jarrett to climb up. Young pulls him down with a powerbomb and a piledriver onto a ladder, followed by Roode coming out of the box. Galloway climbs on top of the cage for a big flip dive to put all five guys down. It’s Drew climbing again and Matt pulling him down again. Just to keep up the idea of the match of course. Roode stops Hardy and goes up but Young makes the save with another ladder. Jarrett and Young go up with Jeff hitting a Stroke off the ladders, allowing him to hang the title for the win at 20:56.
Rating: D+. So in case you don’t get it, here’s the story: TNA is freaking out that an invader (who they invited) is going to take a title that they just invented to another company which they basically advertise for free on their TV show. Oh and Jarrett is a face because he’s a legend in TNA and therefore the announcers panicking really doesn’t fit with what’s going on. The match was your standard King of the Mountain mess with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners.
Counting commercials, this ate up about 35 minutes of the show.
And now, a word from Tigre Uno to Donald Trump. Tigre talks about how awesome Mexico is and doesn’t like what Trump said. Trump is challenged to come to the Impact Zone next week to end a quick fluff piece.
We recap Mickie James and Magnus challenging James Storm to find a woman to face the two of them.
Here’s the Revolution to introduce the newest member of the team. Storm rants about how screwed up this country is and talks about trying to give Mickie as many chances as he could. The newest member of the Revolution is…..Serena, as in Serena Deeb. Serena talks about how she and Mickie used to be best friends, but then Mickie James became a star and left her behind. Serena was lost until she found James Storm, and now things are better than ever. Storm talks to the camera with a message for Mickie and Magnus’ son Donovan, telling him that this is the biggest mistake his parents ever made.
Eric Young vs. Rockstar Spud
Chain match, for reasons not clear. Young dominates to start and beats Spud with the chain before taking him outside for some whips into the barricade with the chain. Back in and more chain shots get two but Spud low blows Eric with the chain to take over. Spud goes after Eric in the corner but Young pulls the referee in the way, setting up a quick piledriver to pin Spud at 5:48.
Rating: D. There was no reason for this to be a chain match but at least they kept it short. Young being violent is far more acceptable than just calling him crazy over and over again, which was my major problem with his former character. Spud needs something better than this and hopefully that comes soon.
Matt Hardy vs. Bobby Roode
Tables match for the #1 contendership. They quickly fight to the floor with Roode nailing a suplex onto the stairs. It’s already table time, but Roode just drops it onto Hardy instead of trying to put Hardy through it. Back in and Roode plants him with a spinebuster and chokes with the table legs, only to have Matt make a quick comeback. The moonsault through the table is broken up but neither guy can hit a finisher. Instead Matt backdrops him over the top and through the table for the win at 6:55.
Rating: D+. This was another short gimmick match that didn’t work very well due to the time they had to work with. What can you really do with a tables match in less than seven minutes? Matt and Roode barely have any reason to fight each other but hat’s what we get because of the whole Hernandez debacle. What does that have to do with this match? Well I’m glad you asked. You did ask didn’t you?
Overall Rating: D-. So here’s the thing: from what I can find, Bully Ray had announced the three gimmick matches you saw as a series to find four potential #1 contenders. That word “four” is the magic one here though, because Hernandez was involved in this original idea. My guess is that they had to cut the whole idea and ignore any reference to it to make sure Hernandez is never mentioned because, you know, TNA is stupid.
In other words, we’re stuck with two random gimmick matches and a WAY too long pay per view match before getting to a random #1 contenders match to end the show. Bad show, but again it’s due to the company’s management instead of the wrestlers themselves. That should be the company’s epithet: the company screwed up, not the wrestlers.
Results
Bram b. Magnus – Low blow
Eric Young b. Rockstar Spud – Piledriver
Matt Hardy b. Bobby Roode – Backdrop through a table
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
NXT Date: July 22, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Rich Brennan, Byron Saxton
We’re officially on the way to the next Takeover in Brooklyn with an announced main event of new NXT Champion Finn Balor defending against former champion Kevin Owens. This makes for an interesting match as Owens has kind of outgrown NXT despite only being there about seven months so far. It should be interesting how they get to the show so let’s get to it.
A quick opening video shows us Balor returning to Japan to win the title.
We open with the champ, holding the title in his hand instead of around his waist, which is something I’ve always been a fan of. After a quick YOU DESERVE IT chant, Balor talks about all the places he’s wrestled and how hard of a decision it really was to come to NXT. However, the moment he was handed the NXT Title, he knew it was all worth it so he could hold this title up. As for Owens, yeah he’s done a lot, but there’s one thing he couldn’t do: pin Finn Balor. He couldn’t do it in Tokyo and he won’t do it again in Brooklyn. This was a nice, to the point debut promo for the title reign and Balor looks like a star.
Eva Marie is very thankful for an opportunity tonight and is taking it so seriously. There’s a misconception about her but she’s ready to show what she has so open your eyes.
Eva Marie vs. Cassie
First sign of trouble: Graves tells the other commentators to pick their jaws up off the floor during Eva’s entrance. The NXT girls’ looks are almost never mentioned and it sets them apart from the Divas and it’s the first thing mentioned about Eva. The LET’S GO EVA/EVA SUCKS chants start up almost immediately as Eva cranks on a wristlock followed by a decent suplex for two. We hit the armbar on the mat for a good while before Cassie kicks her in the face for two of her own. Eva grabs a quick Sliced Bread #2 for the pin at 3:52.
Rating: D+. Well, she didn’t bomb. The problem though is that’s the only standard Eva had to reach here. She didn’t have to be anything great and while she could be good in the ring one day, there’s always going to be a mark on her due to how she got into WWE. This could have been far worse, but it’s like watching a Tough Enough rookie having their debut: after all this time, she’s only up to average. It’s a step up, but she had nowhere to go but up.
Tyler Breeze is in Regal’s office and wants something good for Takeover.
Baron Corbin vs. ???
I don’t even have time to look up the jobber’s name before End of Days wraps this up in 12 seconds. I believe it was Jesus de Leon, who has appeared on a TNA One Night Only show and some indy shows.
Samoa Joe vs. Mike Rallis
Joe has new, far more sinister music which takes out the stupid upbeat sound of his original. That’s one of my favorite things in NXT: they actually fix big problems like that instead of just waiting for fans to go numb to them. Mike goes right at Joe to start and pounds away with some forearms, only to have Joe stomp him into the corner. The Rock Bottom out of the corner sets up the Muscle Buster to end Rallis at 2:05.
Emma and Dana Brooke aren’t worried about Bayley.
Bayley vs. Emma
This is about revenge after Emma broke Bayley’s hand about two months ago. I know it’s goofy and aimed at kids, but there is something so goofily innocent about Bayley that I can’t help but smile every time she does anything. I’ve said she’s the purest face in wrestling right now and the more I see her the more right I think I am. Emma slaps her in the bad hand (still in a brace) to start and takes over for a few moments, only to have Bayley send Emma face first into the buckle a few times.
A bulldog gets two but Dana offers a distraction so Emma can post the bad hand. Emma pulls on the fingers so hard you would think she was trying to steal them (but I’m sure she meant to pay for them). She cranks on both arms for a choke but Bayley comes back with ax handles to the chest. A pull of the hair tie sets up a middle rope elbow to the jaw for two and the fans are right back with the BAYLEY chants. Dana tries to interfere again but gets ejected, setting up the Bayley to Belly (didn’t it used to be the other way around?) for the pin at 5:37.
Rating: C-. This was about revenge and Bayley did exactly what she should have done here. Now, assuming this ends Bayley vs. Emma, there’s almost no reason not to send Bayley after the Women’s Title. It’s been a very long time coming and the fans would erupt when she finally wins it. Bayley is as close to a female Sami Zayn as you can get and the win would be a great main event for a Takeover if they want to roll the dice.
Post match Bayley says she wants the title and wants to beat the best to get there. Therefore, she wants a match with Charlotte.
We get a clip of the NXT girls making their in ring debut at Battleground.
Charlotte is thankful for the opportunity when Dana Brooke comes in. Dana is tired of everyone getting a chance because of their last name when she has never gotten a single shot. Charlotte likes the sound of that and says Bayley can wait a week.
Vaudevillains vs. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton
Gotch and Dawkins get things going but it’s quickly off to Fulton to lay a beating down on Simon. Something like a Hart Attack with a dropkick instead of a running clothesline gets two on Gotch and it’s off to an abdominal stretch. Gotch picks up his own boot and kicks Angelo in the face to escape (that’s just cool) and makes the tag off to English. The Whirling Dervish puts Dawkins away at 2:47.
Blake/Murphy/Alexa aren’t impressed by the Vaudevillains and think Gotch and English are from the old days of 1999. The title match is next week and Bliss guarantees they retain the belts. That could open some doors for a new team at Takeover, such as some hometown boys.
It’s time for Balor and Owens to sign the contract for Takeover with Regal moderating. He talks about the largest audience in NXT history but Owens comes out to cut him off. Before he can say or do anything though, here’s Finn Balor to look like a star again, offering a very nice visual compared to Owens’ brawler look. Balor goes to sign but Owens asks him how it feels to be champion. How does it feel to defend the title in the biggest main event in NXT history (“which takes place in BROOKLYN!”)? And how does it feel to go in as the underdog.
Balor was exactly right earlier in the night when he talked about all the things Owens did, such as beating up Rusev, sending Neville out of NXT, crippling Sami Zayn twice and beating John Cena. All that was in his first six months, so now he gets to show the fans that Japan was just a fluke. Balor can’t wait to make Owens eat those words and both guys sign. There goes the table and Regal gets punched in the face. Balor forearms Owens to the floor and dropkicks him for good measure to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show and I was amazed by how fast it went by. This was about setting up Takeover as they have five weeks and most of the card isn’t set already. The wrestling wasn’t the point here and it covered a lot of the stuff it needed to get to. They’ll be fine going forward and the Brooklyn crowd is going to help the show a lot. Fun, well done show this week.
Results
Eva Marie b. Cassie – Sliced Bread #2
Baron Corbin b. Jesus de Leon – End of Days
Samoa Joe b. Mike Rallis – Muscle Buster
Bayley b. Emma – Bayley to Belly
Vaudevillains b. Angelo Dawkins/Sawyer Fulton – Whirling Dervish to Dawkins
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
This year’s count-up starts on Monday and as usual, I’ll be doing a new version of last year’s show. However, I’d like to do an additional redo and I’ll be letting you all pick which I do. Vote in the comments for the show you want me to do over again.
Monday Nitro – February 28, 2000: The Will To Fight Is Gone
Monday Nitro #229 Date: February 28, 2000
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,638
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden
The big story coming out of Thunder is that the old guys are actually starting to mix it up with the younger guys in the form of Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk and Vampiro vs. Ric Flair. I fully expect WCW to screw this up as only they can, but it’s nice to dream for a little while. I’m sure Luger and Hogan will be here tonight to explain how things really work in wrestling. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the last week, with Kevin Nash thinking he’s Commissioner Gordon (yes of Batman) and Luger/Flair taking over the shows by beating up Hogan and anyone else who get in their way.
Sid arrived earlier today. Yes, he actually CAME TO WORK. Tonight he defends against Tank Abbott. Oh how this company continues to fail. Can’t we get some Greg Valentine title shots again?
Jarrett doesn’t care if Abbott wins because he has a guaranteed title shot. At least they’re wearing NWO gear now and Jeff has his US Title. They must be listening to me.
Opening sequence.
Tag Team Titles: Mamalukes vs. 2XS
The Italians are defending and the challengers tell Miss Hancock to stay in the back because she’s messing up their rat chasing. Lane and Idol start things fast but here’s Hancock for commentary as the champions take over. A kick to the head and neckbreaker drop Lane. Disco: “Why are you being so nice to her?” Madden: “SHUT UP DISCO!!!” The camera is smart enough to stay on Hancock instead of the match which sees both guys on the mat.
Idol comes in and cleans house as everything breaks down. Hancock gets on the table to dance (and keeps having to pull her skirt, if you can even call it that, down). Everyone but Vito (down) is distracted, allowing Vito to get up and plant Idol with the DDT for the pin. Tony: “Finally something happens in the match.” The match was short and we missed way too much of it looking at Hancock, making this one of the more entertaining matches in a long time.
Vito wants more dancing and Hancock is happy to oblige, only to have the Harris Twins come in to clean house. Thankfully it doesn’t seem that Hancock is with the Twins. They want a title shot.
We run down the card.
The KidCam sees Bagwell hitting on Liz. This is totally and completely different than GTV. This was also taped earlier as Luger, Liz and Flair are watching. Ric wants to take Bagwell out for this.
Bigelow picks Sid to beat Abbott tonight.
The Nitro Girls are at Ohio State as we’re getting ready for Spring Breakout.
Hogan, with his weightlifting belt back, wants a Yappapai strap match with Flair at Uncensored. You can hear the fans boo when he calls himself the greatest of all time.
Here are Flair (with another weightlifting belt), Luger and Liz with something to say. Flair yells about Hogan like the good old days when he was a psycho. Luger calls Sting a no-show (true actually) and says tonight the Stuff gets snuffed. Lex keeps going by ripping down Minnesota so here’s Curt Hennig of all people to challenge Flair to a match tonight. I haven’t heard Hennig this fired up in years. Flair says it’s on and Hennig promises to streak down the streets of Minneapolis if he loses.
Booker blames the tag team loss on Thunder on Kidman being on the floor with Torrie.
Torrie and Kidman want the KidCam back.
Nitro Girls.
Madden talks while Tony is on the phone. The results of the call: Sting will be here tonight. They needed a call to confirm that?
Jarrett promises to win the title at Uncensored and doesn’t know who Vampiro is. For some reason he specifies that it’s Uncensored 2000, as opposed to Uncensored 45.
Booker vs. Kidman
Imagine that: taking two young, talented people and having them fight each other in a meaningless match instead of building them up. Booker elbows him down for two but gets caught in a victory roll for the same. The ax kick plants Booker but here come the Harris Twins for the DQ.
Both guys take H Bombs and Torrie gets knocked off the apron.
Gene calls Cassius the mystery man. I know he isn’t a dirty old man now but I’d prefer that over stupid. Harlem Heat thinks you should have someone watching your back.
Lash Leroux thinks Sid wins tonight.
Here’s a clip of a guy with 28 inch arms at the Arnold Classic. Good for him.
Norman Smiley is going to beat up Dustin Rhodes for Dustin hurting Terry Funk. Anything new for Norman is an upgrade.
Hardcore Title: 3 Count vs. Brian Knobbs
Knobbs is defending after Finlay beat 3 Count on Wednesday. Brian fights all three of them off using the cast and everyone uses weapons. There’s a Pit Stop for Shannon and Knobbs throws him out to the floor. Tony mentions that this is a Night of Champions. Thanks for telling us that nearly halfway through the show. Moore gets powerbombed through a table but a trashcan lid shot and a dog pile is enough to pin Knobbs and give us a triple champion.
Vampiro wants to show Jeff Jarrett some pain tonight.
Knobbs wants a rematch. Finlay thinks it’s time to make 3 Count’s lives miserable, starting with a six man tag on Thunder with a surprise partner. It’s time to bring out the dog. Oh dear.
Norman Smiley vs. Dustin Rhodes
Dustin comes out to an instrumental version of his old “Well they call him the natural” theme. Norman is wearing full football pads and puts on a bearhug of all things to start. A cross body puts Dustin down but for some reason doesn’t cause him any major pain. Some dancing sends Dustin to the floor before the swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle. Dustin will have none of this fun and the beating is on. He drops Norman chest first onto the barricade, which should have no effect due to the pads but WCW in 2000 is stupid enough to defy science. Back in and a top rope clothesline is enough to give Dustin the pin.
Nick Patrick picks Tank Abbott. I’ll give them this: at least they’re trying to make this feel important.
US Title: Vampiro vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jeff is defending and has a bunch of women with him but quickly sends them to the back. Before we get to the match, we get a quick recap of Jeff guitaring everyone, which now cost him $10,000 apiece. They start fast with headlocks into headscissors but Vampiro starts firing off the kicks. That goes nowhere so they head outside with Jarrett dropping him on the barricade to take over.
Back inside and it’s Jarrett in control but Vampiro catches himself off a monkey flip. That earns him a clothesline as this has been almost all Jarrett so far. A quick Rock Bottom gets two for Vampiro and some small packages get the same, but here are the Twins for a distraction. Sid comes out to chase them off but the referee doesn’t see the cover off Vampiro’s Nail in the Coffin. Jarrett hits a quick belt shot for two (with the bell ringing anyway), avoids the guillotine legdrop, and hits a quick Stroke to retain.
Rating: D+. Notice the difference between this and Flair vs. Vampiro on Thunder: here Vampiro got in almost nothing until a bunch of interference screwed Jarrett up. On top of that, Jarrett pinned him clean. That’s not a good way to make Vampiro look good, but this was about setting up Sid vs. Jarrett instead of doing anything for anyone else.
The Mamalukes pay a guy to give the Harris Twins a package.
Ricki Rachman, an annoying tattooed guy who does promotional stuff, talks to Disco Inferno about 3 Count while sitting at a restaurant at Ohio State. Seriously.
Fit Finlay attacked Vampiro during the break. Why you ask? Not answered, just like when he did it on Wednesday.
David Flair dances with the Nitro Girls but Daffney catches him. I’d make a “well maybe he didn’t think she was watching like everyone else” but it was too easy. Everything is cool after a few seconds.
Cruiserweight Title: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. David Flair
David is challenging and Crowbar is on commentary. Prince licks his own finger and points at David so David points back at him. Crowbar does an actually funny Gordon Solie imitation, getting in every catchphrase he can. Prince takes him down with some right hands but Crowbar shoves him off the ropes. David covers for two but the girls get in a fight, allowing Prince to hit his middle rope DDT to retain.
Sid has been attacked and a guitar is seen nearby.
The NWO leaves but the guy from earlier delivers the package to the Twins. It’s a dead fish. Eh I’ve seen worse.
Sid has been banned from strenuous physical activity. Well Sid hasn’t been strenuous in the ring for years so that should be fine. Sid comes up and says he’s fighting tonight, even though he’s dizzy.
The Cat vs. The Maestro
Cat insults some fat fans before Maestro comes out. Symphony carries out a boom box with the music Stro has to listen to as part of the bet. The boom box plays what sounds like 3 Count, Maestro freaks out and hits Cat with the boom box and gets the pin.
Liz and Luger have lost the bat.
Kidman picks Tank Abbott.
Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig
Hennig slugs away in the corner to start and nails a backdrop, followed by some chops in the corner. Flair gets slammed off the top as this has literally been all Hennig so far. We get a ref bump because wrestling has gotten too complicated around here. The PerfectPlex has Flair in trouble but Luger comes in for the save. A low blow gives Ric the pin.
Rating: D+. This is a hard pairing to screw up but they came close with less than four minutes, a ref bump and interference. Either give them more time and cut out stuff like Cat vs. Maestro or…..actually just cut that match and give this match the time. There’s no real reason to not be able to give more than one match seven minutes or so, but they’re cramming so much stuff in here and it’s screwing up the rest of the card.
Meng, who can suddenly speak English, can’t decide who wins the main event.
More stuff from Ohio State.
Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell
Again. These two have fought more than maybe any other pair in Nitro history. So is Buff officially a face, even when he’s trying to steal someone’s woman? Some quick dropkicks have Luger in early trouble but they head outside with Luger choking away on the table. We hit a reverse chinlock back inside and Buff slaps the mat but the referee doesn’t care. How stupid does Bagwell have to be to not even blink when Bagwell taps the mat while in a submission? Bagwell gets his knees up to crotch Luger and makes his comeback, including a Vader Bomb for two. Buff goes after Liz but Flair comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D. I’m sick of these two fighting, even when you set something up earlier in the night. The fact that it’s there to set up another Luger match because he’s still getting pushed for whatever reason doesn’t help either. Flair is the highlight of this team though and at least he’s willing to help build up some stars.
They load up the Pillmanizing but Sting returns for the save. Returns after being gone for a week that is.
WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Tank Abbott
Tank is challenging and comes in on a motorcycle. Sid is wobbly with glazed over eyes. I’m going to assume he’s fine. His taped up ribs seem a bit more serious. Tank grabs a front facelock and shouts GO TO SLEEP. That goes nowhere so Tank punches him in the ribs, amazingly showing some psychology. We hit a reverse chinlock before a bunch of body punches put Sid down again. Back up and Sid grabs a sleeper which he turns into the Crossface to make Tank tap.
Rating: D. Well, they tried some psychology but it wound up being a bunch of punching and chinlocks until Sid grabbed a hold to retain. This could have been far worse, but I could have gone for them sacrificing Tank to someone who needs the win instead of the World Champion. At least it was short and made sense though.
Overall Rating: D. The shows have had a bit more energy in recent weeks, but that might just be due to me giving up on fighting. It is however nice to see the younger guys at least being moved up the card, though unfortunately they haven’t actually won anything yet. This week was better, but they need to keep pushing forward and get away from these horrible main events already.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Ring of Honor – July 15, 2015: Rednecks And Real Men
Ring of Honor Date: July 15, 2015
Location: Terminal 5, New York City, New York
Commentators: King Corino, Kevin Kelly
It’s time for more build towards Death Before Dishonor, where Roderick Strong will be challenging Jay Lethal for the World Title. However, Lethal is still the TV Champion, meaning it’s time for a title defense against Mark Briscoe. This show has been solid so far and hopefully it keeps going in that direction. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Adam Page vs. Matt Sydal
This continues to be part of the King Corino vs. BJ Whitmer feud over Colby Corino being Page’s young boy. Matt takes Adam into the corner to start before dropping him with a hurricanrana. A spinwheel kick puts Page on the floor but a baseball slide takes Colby out by mistake. You would think Papa Corino would be more upset over this but it sounds like more of an annoyance than anything else.
We take a break and come back with Sydal getting a close two off a rollup but a pumphandle fall away slam (that’s a new one) gets the same on Matt. With nothing else working, Sydal just kicks Adam in the face but can’t hit the shooting star. Instead it’s a fireman’s carry into a backbreaker for two for Page, followed by a front flip from the apron into a clothesline. Matt comes back with a kick and the shooting star for the pin at 9:15.
Rating: D+. Why am I supposed to care about Adam Page? He’s a generic guy in the ring with nothing interesting going on other than an association with BJ Whitmer, who seems to be the one with the issues with King Corino. The match was really lacking too as they were just doing moves until Sydal hit his big move to win. Boring match with a boring heel.
Post match Whitmer comes in for the beatdown but ACH tries to make a save. This goes very badly as Colby throws in a bunch of chairs to help with the beatdown, capped off by the reverse piledriver on Sydal onto the chairs. King Corino freaks out and tells his kid to stop.
We run down the Death Before Dishonor card.
Here’s the gorgeous Veda Scott to mock Moose’s loss to Cedric Alexander. At Death Before Dishonor, Alexander will prove that you win with skills instead of potential. Alexander is going to take what Moose never deserved. This was a good way to build a match in about a minute and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be.
Silas Young vs. Will Ferrara
Silas knees him in the ribs to start and drops him with a release gordbuster. I’m digging the old school style he’s using and it’s working well for him. Back up though and Ferrara grabs the arm to slow things down and take over for a bit, only to get dropped on his back in a kind of powerslam. Silas cranks on both arms at once before Ferrara stops a charge with two raised boots. A tornado DDT gets two but Silas one ups him (in a way) with a DDT into the corner. Cue Dalton Castle’s boys for a distraction, allowing Ferrara to roll him up for the pin at 5:47.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Ferrara being a decent enough worker for his experience level, but this was more about Castle vs. Young. It’s interesting that Castle is really a glorified comedy character but is getting a pretty high profile feud. What’s even more interesting though is how well he’s handling it so far. That’s a good sign going forward and Young is a great choice for him to feud against. Not much of a match but it served its purpose.
The Briscoes are fired up for next week’s 200th episode.
TV Title: Mark Briscoe vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal, also the World Champion, is defending. They slug it out to start with Jay knocking him to the floor for a baseball slide. Truth Martini loads up the Book of Truth but ODB (the Briscoes’ friend) breaks it up to let Mark take over with a string of rams into the barricades. Back in and Mark gets two off a top rope chop to the head and we take a break.
We come back with Roderick Strong on commentary to bore everyone to death. Mark suplexes the champ down and kicks him in the chest, only to have the House of Truth come in for a distraction so Lethal can take over. We hit the chinlock followed by a front facelock until Mark nails a running clothesline. Jay superkicks him in the jaw to stop the comeback but the Lethal Injection is countered with a German suplex to send him outside. A Cactus Jack elbow takes us to our second break of the match.
Back again with ODB and Martini getting into it again and Jay Briscoe taking out Jay (PICK A NEW FIRST NAME) Diesel, allowing the Froggy Bow (frog splash elbow) to get two on the champ. ODB gets wiped out and Diesel hits Mark low, setting up the Lethal Injection (that stupid handspring RKO) to retain the title at 16:45.
Rating: B-. I liked this more than I was expecting as they managed to have all the people running in but still kept the whole thing from falling apart. I’m not wild on Mark’s promos but at least his in ring style matches his insane persona. Lethal still doesn’t do much for me and I don’t like one guy holding two titles, but it’s not bad so far.
Roderick Strong comes in to break up the post match beatdown, possibly setting up a six man next week. I’m mostly right as it’s going to be an eight person tag with ODB and Martini thrown in for good measure.
Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show but the main event helped a bit. Instead, they were basically spending the entire show hyping up the next pay per view, which is a very nice change of pace. Lethal still isn’t the most interesting guy in the world though and I’m not wild on him as a champion. That could be fixed through some more time though and it’s a problem with being thrown into a series instead of allowing it to be built up. The 200th episode should be fun though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
I’m back in the States and everything should be on the normal schedule going forward. Thanks for your patience while I’ve been away for a few weeks.
KB
Monday Night Raw – July 20, 2015: The Old and the Beautiful
Monday Night Raw Date: July 20, 2015
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
As uneventful as Battleground seemed going into last night, a lot changed in the final moments. The Undertaker of all people returned to end the World Title match by attacking Brock Lesnar. The interesting point was that Rollins just disappeared after basically being squashed by Lesnar for the entire match. It should be interesting to see what happens as we head towards Summerslam. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at the end of the main event.
Here’s Undertaker to open things up with the announcers listing off all of his accomplishments and making the entire moment fee like anything else. The fans don’t seem to mind Undertaker’s rather heelish actions last night, as anyone with a functioning brain could have predicted. Undertaker starts with a big line: streaks are made to be broken.
However, Lesnar has gone on for months about his greatest accomplishment. Ever since he broke the Streak, Lesnar has bragged about it. You can’t kill what won’t die, and Undertaker will conquer what has yet to be conquered. Just like everyone else, be they man or beast, Brock Lesnar will rest in peace. This definitely wasn’t a heel promo and it didn’t need to be.
Since we haven’t talked about them enough yet, we cut to the Authority who brags about how big a main event they have. Stephanie is ready to market things, but HHH thinks Brock should take the night off.
Cena/Orton/Cesaro vs. Rusev/Owens/Sheamus for the main event. Cesaro and Rusev getting those spots is a great sign.
Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Team Bad is on commentary but before the match we have to get a quick recap of how Stephanie saved us all. Feeling out process to start with Charlotte knocking Brie to the floor but misses a dive. Back from a break with Brie working on the arm and kicking Charlotte square in the jaw. We get the YES Kicks to fire up the crowd, followed by a low dropkick for two. Brie hooks a chinlock for a good while before Charlotte starts firing off chops and a big boot to the face. Nikki’s distraction doesn’t work and a spear sets up the Figure Eight for the submission for Charlotte at 9:02.
Rating: C. Brie is fine if you keep things simple but Charlotte winning is definitely the right idea. It’s starting to feel like the new girls are becoming a thing and that’s a very good sign this early in their run. It’s going to get annoying just sitting around waiting on the title match though, which seems to be what we’re going to be doing until Nikki breaks the record.
HHH is on the phone with Heyman and tells Lesnar to take the night off. Heyman needs to grow a set and tell Lesnar to not show up tonight. Miz tries to interrupt and gets Big Show as a result.
Prime Time Players vs. Los Matadores
Non-title. Darren takes Diego into the corner to start and blasts him with a spinning forearm. The masked men take over, despite the fans not sounding all that interested. Young snaps off a belly to belly suplex and it’s off to Titus to clean house. Cue New Day for a distraction though, allowing Diego to hit a Backstabber on Titus for the pin at 4:04.
Rating: D. So not only is the feud continuing, but now we’re getting the old distraction into a pin finish again? Also, can we please stop giving people wins over champions when it’s not going to lead anywhere? This happened a few years back when Kofi pinned WWE Champion Randy Orton and then it went nowhere. If that’s what you’re going for, just have the champs win and then let it be a post match attack. Finally, if you want to build a team up, STOP HAVING THEM LOSE TO A NOTHING TEAM LIKE LOS MATADORES! That’s not how you build up a match, especially when they’re not even in the feud.
Big Show vs. Miz
Show chops Miz in the corner to start, as only Big Show can do. A slam sets up the middle rope elbow for the pin on Miz at 1:27. And he was supposed to get a title shot last night?
Show rants about how he’s still around and tells Ryback to show up on Tough Enough tomorrow night for a brawl.
HHH and Stephanie want artwork made up for Lesnar vs. Undertaker when Heyman arrives. He’s here to give Lesnar’s response and nothing more, but the Authority isn’t interested.
Back from a break with the roster meeting with the Authority. They want the entire locker room to keep Lesnar and Undertaker apart because they have to protect the Summerslam main event. There is WAY too much Authority tonight.
Here’s Heyman to address the Summerslam main event. Brock isn’t the World Champion right now, but why isn’t he? It’s not because Rollins out wrestled or out fought him or because Rollins survived a trip to Suplex City. It was all because of a yet again resurrected Undertaker, who can’t get over losing the Streak to Brock Lesnar. Of course Heyman has hyped up the Streak being broken because why wouldn’t he?
It’s the biggest accomplishment of his career because no one else could ever do it. The Undertaker wants to face Brock Lesnar again at Summerslam, so let’s make this personal. Heyman goes into full on promoter voice to rant about the Streak being broken. Undertaker may have sold his soul to the devil to get revenge but he belongs to Brock Lesnar. There goes the gong and the look on Heyman’s face is priceless.
Brock hits the ring and the fight is on with the fans being behind a ticked off Brock. Security has as much success as you would expect so HHH sends a bunch of midcarders out until there must be twenty five guys trying to break this up. The announcers bail so it’s up to the audience to tell us how awesome this is (and they’re right for a change). Undertaker gets to him on the floor again as even main eventers are out there to break it up now.
We come back from a break and they’re fighting in the back again with the entire roster not being able to hold them back. Brock finally steps back and says he’s done, allowing the police to tie his hands.
Rollins comes in to laugh at what just happened but promises the Authority that he’ll be in the arena later.
Bray Wyatt says he’s never alone because his family stands by his side. They know that he is the revolution and the fans need to learn it. The people have annointed Roman Reigns and it’s time for them to burn for it. Harper says this is just the beginning and they will take Reigns apart brick by brick. Anyone but you.
Luke Harper vs. Roman Reigns
The fans sound like they’re chanting for Wyatt so Byron says it’s for Reigns. Roman shrugs off a clothesline and fires off chops, only to have Harper go after Roman’s left arm. That earns him a suplex though and we take a quick break. Back with Roman stuck in a chinlock before Harper wisely goes back to the arm. A charge doesn’t work for Reigns as Harper tosses him outside, injuring the arm again.
The match keeps going as Harper cranks on the arm while also working on a chinlock. That’s dedication to your craft. Harper misses a big boot and crashes to the floor, allowing Reigns to start his comeback. Roman and Bray get into it with both Wyatts taking apron kicks. Wyatt pulls Reigns outside though and that’s a DQ at 13:00.
Rating: C-. Harper trying some psychology was a good idea but it’s pretty clear that we’re headed for a tag match at Summerslam. I like the idea of Ambrose and Reigns as the best friends/brothers who will fight back to back until the end and anything with Wyatts vs. Shield vibes is a good thing.
Everyone brawls post match and the Wyatts run.
We get the same recap from the opening.
Here’s Rollins to brag about surviving with the title. He’s sorry to announce this to the people but Lesnar didn’t get the job done. Being champion is so much harder than people think it is because Rollins has to put so much effort into it. After last night, he’s still exactly where he promised he would be, but he never got to hear his name announced last night. Therefore, Lillian Garcia is invited in for the official announcement.
That’s exactly what we get….and here’s Cena to interrupt. Rollins cuts him off by saying this isn’t about him because no one cares about what he does, but Cena talks about how a champion is supposed to be ready to fight no matter what. The brawl is about to be on but, as you would expect, Rollins bails. That might be the co-main event at Summerslam.
Hey! Remember when Stephanie TOTALLY saved the Divas’ division? Well here it is again.
Paige/Becky Lynch vs. Naomi/Sasha Banks
The Bellas/Alicia are on commentary this time. Sasha and Becky get things going, which is almost guaranteed to be awesome. Some armdrags and an armbar have Sasha in early trouble so it’s off to Naomi. That’s fine with Becky who drops a leg (where’s Xavier Woods to rate it though?) as the heroes stay in control.
Sasha gets kicked in the head a few times and we take a break. Back with Naomi cranking on a front facelock as JBL brings up WCW and the NWO because it’s just so fun to make fun eighteen years later. Back from a break with Naomi kicking Becky in the face for two. Sasha comes back in to yell at Paige, allowing Naomi to get in some shots from the apron.
Becky rolls away and DIVES for a tag but Sasha makes a save, only to have the hot tag bring in Paige a second later. Paige cleans house but the PTO on Maomi is broken up at the last second. Everything breaks down as the Bellas just keep chattering like they do in everything they say. The Bank Statement makes Paige tag at 13:05.
Rating: C+. Less Bella means a better match. It’s so adorable hearing them talk about themselves like that and imagining that people care for them. I’m sure they’ll still be around because that’s the nature of the beast, but at least there’s some fresh blood to change things up around here.
Southpaw preview, which is tied into a Tough Enough plug.
Long Undertaker vs. Lesnar recap.
We look back at Rusev’s ankle being fine and the ensuing Ziggler beatdown.
Lana says Ziggler will be fine when Summer Rae comes up in a Lana outfit. Rusev comes in to kiss Summer, who then slaps Lana in the face.
Randy Orton/John Cena/Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens/Rusev/Sheamus
After the entrances take their sweet time, we start things off with Cena vs. Owens. Why? The feud (should have at least) ended last night and it’s off to Rusev before any contact. An early fall away slam gets two and Rusev opts for the stomping away in the corner. That goes badly for the Russian so it’s back to Owens, who has to dive to the ropes to break up an STF attempt. A DDT plants Cena but he rolls away from the Cannonball for the hot tag.
Everything breaks down and Cesaro loads up the Swing, only to eat a jumping superkick to send the match to a break. Back with Owens holding Cesaro down until Cesaro powers up with a nice suplex. Cesaro gets to play face in peril for a bit as all the heels get in their shots. Sheamus and Owens wind up hitting each other though and the fight is on with Sheamus getting the worse of it.
Sheamus walks out on the match and Owens does the same a few moments later, leaving Rusev down 3-1. This goes about as you would expect it to with the parade of finishers putting Rusev down. Cue Lana to spear Summer down, leaving Cesaro to catapult Rusev into an RKO for the pin at 14:21.
Rating: C. Totally Smackdown six man until the cool ending move. I’m not sure what the point of this was as it just came and went without having much going on, but at least Rusev doesn’t look bad in defeat and the other two looked fine as well. This was such a strange ending to Raw as everything was wrapped up and none of these guys seem to have a match set for Summerslam.
Overall Rating: C+. This is about as much of a two idea show as you can have as they set up the main event of Summerslam and pushed the heck out of the Divas revolution. How amazing is it that the Divas could arguably be the more interesting story of the two? You can see that they’ve turned it on for Summerslam and that’s one of the best things you can get in WWE.
Results
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight
Los Matadores b. Prime Time Players – Backstabber to O’Neil
Big Show b. Miz – Middle rope elbow
Roman Reigns b. Luke Harper via DQ when Bray Wyatt interfered
Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Paige/Becky Lynch – Bank Statement to Paige
John Cena/Randy Orton/Cesaro b. Rusev/Kevin Owens/Sheamus – RKO to Rusev
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Battleground 2015 Date: July 19, 2015
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s time for the show that is here to fill time until it’s Summerslam, which usually isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. The main event tonight is Seth Rollins defending the World Title against Brock Lesnar in Brock’s return title match after Rollins stole the title at Wrestlemania. We also have Owens vs. Cena III for Cena’s US Title which has the potential to steal the show again. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: King Barrett vs. R-Truth
For the crown in one of the worst feuds I can remember in a long time. Truth takes him into the corner to start and bunny hops out as we hear a very brief history of the King’s Crown Title from the 1980s. Barrett shoves him away but gets a pelvic thrust and dropkick. A slingshot dive drops Barrett as Lawler makes big nose jokes. The announcers babble about BB King, Stephen King and Burger King as we take a break.
Back with Barrett stretching the arms and JBL talking about working on a rap album with Truth. This goes about as far as you would expect until Truth fights back and gets two off an ax kick. Lawler: “He’s got the whole world in his nose!” Winds of Change gets two on Truth and the Bull Hammer FINALLY gives Barrett the pin at 9:10.
Rating: F. The wrestling sucked, but this fails due to the jokes and the story. This has been a lame story since the beginning and they’ve made no secret about the fact that no one cares what happens here. Barrett is right back where he started and that’s not something you want from someone who is supposed to be a big deal after winning the tournament. Awful stuff and please let him do anything new, as long as it’s serious.
The opening video talks about how the matches tonight have led to a battleground to decide their final fate. This isn’t exactly making up for the lame build.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
This is due to Sheamus helping Kane beat Orton a few weeks back, triggering a feud that most people aren’t all that interested in seeing. Big pop for the hometown Orton, even though he isn’t billed from St. Louis here. Feeling out process to start with Sheamus bailing to the floor, only to have Randy follow him outside to start the beating. The fans get behind Orton but the match immediately gets back to its boring pace.
Sheamus comes back with a kick to the ribs and Orton is in trouble. Three straight Irish Curses put Orton down again for two and a knee drop gets the same. It’s time to hit that chinlock as this is normally the time where we would be coming back from a commercial. Back up and they slug it out with Orton getting the better of it (duh) before they head outside to keep up the fight.
Orton drops him onto the table and snaps off the powerslam for two more back inside. The elevated DDT is countered with a necksnap across the top and a tilt-a-whirl powerslam gets another two. Can we please get to the pay per view level stuff and drop this TV style? I know it’s the most important thing but it’s still nothing I want to see. Both finishers are countered so Sheamus plants him with White Noise for two.
Sheamus goes up but eats a bunch of right hands, setting up the superplex for, say it with me, two. The elevated DDT connects this time and the place goes nuts for the RKO set up but Sheamus rolls him up for two. The Brogue Kick connects out of nowhere but Sheamus can’t cover. Instead it’s the Cloverleaf with Orton having to crawl to the ropes twice. Not that it matters as the RKO finishes Sheamus at 16:46.
Rating: C+. This took its time to get going but the second half was far better than the first. In other words, it was another good TV match formula transferred over to pay per view. Orton going over here, while annoying in a way, was the right choice for an opener, even though I hate Sheamus losing as Mr. Money in the Bank. Good back and forth stuff here though and I got a lot more into it after that chinlock.
Cole talks about the revolution in the Divas’ division setting social media on fire. Therefore, it’s time to recap the Stephanie segment from Raw because that was the focus of the entire thing. Stephanie saying she set the table was horrible and made Paige’s whole story look worthless because Stephanie had to be there to get the credit for everything.
Stephanie, playing a total face instead of the heel authority figure, sucks up to the live crowd. Tonight there’s a triple threat match between each Divas’ trio and Stephanie will accept nothing less than the house being torn down.
Tag Team Titles: Prime Time Players vs. New Day
New Day is challenging after losing the belts to the Players at Money in the Bank. Before the match, New Day talks about staying positive because they know they have to reap the rewards of their sacrifices soon. Woods is on the floor as Kofi starts with Darren. Kofi is a bit too fast for Young so it’s off to Titus for some VERY loud chops in the corner. A New Day conference leads to a tag to Big E., who eats a legdrop from Titus. Woods: “WORST LEGDROP EVER!”
It’s back to Darren who gets thrown outside as the champs take over, allowing Xavier to be an even more obnoxious (meaning AWESOME) cheerleader. We get the alternating stomps, capped off by a running basement dropkick. Woods: “OH IT’S SO GOOD!” An apron splash gets two on Young (that looked good) and we hit the abdominal stretch.
Woods shouts about tricep meat and Darren scores with an enziguri, setting up the hot tag to Titus so house can be cleaned. Titus’ dominance doesn’t last long though as it’s quickly back to Young. The Midnight Hour is broken up and the Gut Check sends Kofi to the floor. O’Neil comes back in for the Clash of the Titus on Big E. to retain at 8:53.
Rating: D+. Well that’s a surprise. I’m not sure how I feel about the result as the Players are little more than adequate and New Day is still one of the funniest acts in wrestling. The match was nothing to see but the Players retaining is an acceptable result. It’s more of a surprise than anything else, and that’s not the worst thing in the world.
Paige is with Charlotte and Becky Lynch in the back and makes sure to praise Stephanie for starting the revolution. They’re going to tear the house down tonight and rebuild the division brick by brick.
We recap Reigns vs. Wyatt, which started with Bray using Reigns’ daughter to get inside his head, before saying anyone but Reigns. The idea seems to be that Reigns hasn’t earned the hero role and Wyatt wants anyone else there, but as usual it isn’t clear with Bray.
Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns
The fireflies continue to look awesome. They lock up to start with Bray hammering him down in the corner for a bit of a surprise. The fans are WAY into Wyatt here, though it might be more anti-Roman instead. An uppercut sends Wyatt to the floor but he pops Reigns with one of his own to take over again. The cross body block takes Reigns down again but Reigns Samoan drops him out to the floor.
Wyatt is fine with the violence of course and sends Reigns into the steps as this has been almost all Bray so far. They slug it out on the apron for something different, setting up a Wyatt DDT on the apron for something painful. We hit the chinlock and get a creepy Wyatt smile as he pulls back. That’s the kind of thing Wyatt does very well and it’s a great addition to the whole package. Reigns finally powers up with a belly to back suplex to break the hold.
It’s time for the comeback, thankfully with only one standing clothesline. Another belly to back drops Wyatt but he clotheslines Reigns out of the air to break up the apron kick (now the Drive By apparently). Bray adds a backsplash on the floor but takes too long putting Reigns on top, allowing Roman to Batista Bomb him out of the corner for a very close two. The Superman Punch misses but Reigns drops him on the apron again.
The apron boot (screw that Drive By nonsense) connects but Bray shakes it off and Rock Bottoms Reigns (appropriate) for two. Fans: “THAT WAS THREE!” I know they’ve been talking about making Wyatt face for a long time now and the fan support seems to be there. Sister Abigail is countered into the Superman Punch (with Bray falling before it connected) for two. This is surprising, despite that almost never being a finisher. Reigns gets all fired up and tries the spear but eats a boot, followed by getting all fired up again but charging into a right hand. You have to change it up a bit you see.
Sister Abigail is broken up (obvious due to being a slow kiss) so Reigns hits ten clotheslines in the corner and another Samoan drop. Both guys are spent so Bray grabs some chairs. Reigns knocks them away just as quickly though and grabs chairs of his own. All four chairs wind up in the ring but someone in a hood superkicks Reigns, allowing Bray to hit Sister Abigail for the pin at 22:10.
Rating: B. I liked this more than I thought I would and Bray getting the win is a very nice sign. Reigns is going to be a big deal and Wyatt could be as well, but at some point you need to win matches like this one. The interference is a good sign as well with Bray’s best days being as a cult leader, so why not let him try it again?
The guy gets in the ring and it’s….Luke Harper, so maybe the reunion is on.
Naomi, Tamina and Sasha Banks (collectively known as B.A.D., meaning Beautiful and Dangerous, as well as the fact that they’re doomed because that’s a horrible name) are ready for the triple threat.
Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella
All nine are here. Nikki and Sasha have a staredown before the match and it’s going to be Brie instead. Oh yay.
Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Thankfully Brie is sent outside early on, leaving the two that know what they’re doing in the ring. Charlotte gets her throat snapped across the top rope, leaving Brie to come in with her catfight style Thesz press. That’s fine with Sasha, who sends both of them to the corner for the double knees to the ribs for two each. It seems that they’re keeping Brie out of the action for the most part here and it’s no secret that that’s a good idea.
Sasha headscissors Charlotte down for two and hits a pair of running knees in the corner for the same. Brie makes a save as the fans want Becky. Charlotte clotheslines both of them down but Brie comes back with her own screaming clotheslines. A double bulldog kind of works but Brie just gets two on both. Back up and Sasha sidesteps a charge, sending Charlotte into Brie instead. They’re doing a really good job of keeping Brie limited here while the talented ones do their thing.
Brie comes back in with a double missile dropkick (with the camera barely catching it), setting up the BRIE MODE running knees to the chest. The Bellas huddle on the floor but are quickly surrounded, setting up a BIG staredown. Sasha dives through the ropes to take out a lot of them, followed by Charlotte diving on the rest. Back in and Brie breaks up the Bank Statement on Charlotte, only to have the Bella Buster countered into the Figure Eight for the submission at 11:31. Cole: “TEAM BELLA IS MORTAL!” Oh shut up Michael.
Rating: C+. This was as well booked as they could have made it. You want to keep Nikki away from these newcomers as long as you can and Brie is about as perfect of a sacrifice as there is. It was clear that Brie couldn’t hang with the other two and it would have been crazy to imply she could. This was better than I was expecting and it’s clear that they want the Divas to mean something, which is a great sign.
The preshow panel recaps the night, including Barrett beating Truth.
Long recap of Cena vs. Owens. They traded wins in their first two classics but tonight Cena’s US Title is on the line. Owens claims that Cena keeps disrespecting him but Owens has never been the kind of guy that says what he really means.
US Title: John Cena vs. Kevin Owens
Cena is defending and gets the JOHN CENA SUCKS song. Cena: “RAIN IT DOWN!” Owens gets in the first big shot to start and slugs Cena down with forearms to the back. More big shots put Cena down and the backsplash (just wait until Owens or Bray have to drop that one) gets two. Cena tries a comeback with a dropkick but Owens puts him down one more time, only to miss a swanton. It’s really impressive that a guy his size can do something like that.
Owens busts out Cena’s finishing sequence but the AA is countered into Cena’s STF. The rope is quickly grabbed as Cena starts his comeback, only to Kevin catch the top rope legdrop into a sitout powerbomb for two more. An AA gets two for the champ, thereby fulfilling the quota for the match. The sunset bomb gets the same but Owens busts out the swinging superplex for the same.
Back up and the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana, setting up an AA to Cena, followed by an STF to really fire up the crowd. John finally makes the ropes and dives for a tornado DDT, which still doesn’t put Owens away. The Springboard Stunner does better than usual but Owens stays going and takes Cena’s head off with a clothesline. No cover though, as Owens goes with the brainbuster onto the knee for two instead.
Another AA gets another two on Kevin and the Pop Up Powerbomb gets the same on the champ. Owens heads up top again and gets caught one more time, setting up the super AA for two. I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that one before so well done. Cena has the same face he had when the Rock beat him at Wrestlemania so it’s off to a rematch that no one wanted to see. Actually it’s the STF instead and Owens taps at 22:14.
Rating: B+. I didn’t like this one quite as much as the other two and I have no idea why you don’t put the title on Owens here. Owens kicked out of the super finisher and then just taps out to the regular finish? That’s some backwards booking to put it mildly, despite a great match to get there. Owens will be fine, but this really should have been his big moment. As a sidebar, they really didn’t put Cesaro and/or Rusev on this show somewhere? Really?
Here’s Miz for a chat instead of the Intercontinental Title match. Miz rips on Ryback for bailing on the match because it’s messed up his branding team’s plans for talk show appearances as the new champion. He knows he’s the toughest man in St. Louis and thinks Big Show should retire like everyone wants him do do. Big Show comes out and lays Miz out with one punch as you would expect him to do.
Long recap of Rollins vs. Lesnar. Seth stole the World Title by cashing in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, but tonight Lesnar is out for revenge and his title. Brock has also broken Kane’s ankle and put the Stooges out of action to make this one on one. Also something about breaking a car for some product placement.
WWE World Heavyweight Title: Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar
Seth is defending of course but Brock drives him into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. An early German attempt sends Seth outside and the champ gets Brock to chase him. Back in and some kicks to the leg have Brock staggered, but Rollins dives into the first German. Three more send Rollins flying and it’s out to the floor. He tries to run but Brock just hurdles the barricade and throws him back to ringside. Well that’s one way to get him back.
German #6 has Rollins in even more trouble and Brock looks livid. Rollins backflips out of #7 and hits a superkick (way too common a move tonight), followed by three straight low superkicks. Another regular superkick means Rollins can apply to be a Young Buck, but the Pedigree is easily countered. Rollins hits a pair of suicide dives but Brock charges in and throws Rollins with a belly to belly.
Brock rolls three more Germans (10), followed by a release for #11. We’re up to thirteen and Rollins looks dead. The F5 connects…….and we’ve got Undertaker. Brock looks terrified but escapes a chokeslam. The F5 is countered and Undertaker kicks him in the face. We’ll say the match was thrown out at 9:00.
Rating: C+. I really didn’t like this one as I’m getting tired of all the suplexes. I know Brock is capable of doing other stuff but he’s basically a popular Royal Rumble 2003 Scott Steiner in this formula. It’s still entertaining enough but Brock can do more stuff than just throw Germans everywhere all the time. This was probably their best idea, but I’m not sure who goes after the belt next.
The chokeslam works the second time and Brock gets tombstoned for good measure. Rollins is nowhere in sight during any of this. A second Tombstone has Heyman freaking out and Undertaker poses to end the show. The fans were behind him so I think it’s face vs. face at Summerslam.
Overall Rating: B-. This was a really tricky one to grade as it’s much more a collection of good to quite good matches instead of a great show. The Undertaker stuff could go a bunch of ways, but it’s cool to see him doing ANYTHING other than his usual Wrestlemania appearance. The show was better than I was expecting and for a Summerslam warmup, I’ll call it a big success. Just keep the scale in mind when you consider that big success.
Results
Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO
Prime Time Players b. New Day – Clash of the Titus to Big E.
Bray Wyatt b. Roman Reigns – Sister Abigail
Charlotte b. Brie Bella and Sasha Banks – Figure Eight to Bella
John Cena b. Kevin Owens – STF
Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins went to a no contest when Undertaker interfered
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