New Column: How To Stop Brock Lesnar In 220 Easy To Remember Steps
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Today is a guy with one heck of a finisher: Petey Williams.
Petey
Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza
Team Canada is Petey Williams, Eric Young and Bobby Roode. Another very different idea from this point is the time limit on screen. Non-title matches only have ten minute time limits and title matches get thirty minutes. If the match goes to a time limit draw, a judge will decide the winner. The Canadians all bail to the floor to start and there’s the triple dive. We start in the ring with Eric Young (with BIG bushy hair) getting beaten up by Amazing Red until the Canadians take Eric out.
Roode pounds away on Red as the power member of the Canadians, getting two off an elbow. There’s also an ESPN style bottom line, running down results of recent TNA PPVs. Petey gets two off a middle rope bulldog and Coach Scott D’Amore gets in a cheap shot of his own. Back to Roode for a nice suplex before knocking Dutt and Garza out to the floor.
Red comes back with a simultaneous headscissors to Roode and DDT to Young, allowing for the hot tag to Garza. Roode takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb as everything breaks down. Red gets two on Roode off a springboard hurricanrana but Petey snaps off the Canadian Destroyer to take Red out. Roode’s Razor’s Edge is countered into a hurricanrana by Dutt, setting up a corkscrew moonsault from Dutt for the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine for an opener with most of the guys busting out all of their dives. It’s the standard formula of throwing some fast paced guys out there to open up a show and it still works as well as anything else. It’s always fun to see how big starts like Roode got their starts as he looked good here.
He would win the X-Division Title soon after this and defend it at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004.
X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles
AJ was a huge star almost at this point but he was still the king of the midcard as he would be for a long time to come, as in like 5 years. These two just go freaking nuts like an old school cruiserweight match. AJ hits a perfect backflip off the apron to the floor and then a senton over the top rope to the floor. Petey takes over with a jawbreaker and we get down to a bit more of a standard match to set up AJ’s big comeback.
For a crowd the all loves AJ that’s a heck of a dueling chant they have going. Ok that was cool. Petey puts AJ in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch. He does it again and AJ does more or less a really bit sit up and grabs AJ to pull him back in a German suplex which he follows with a Pele. I LOVE that springboard forearm. It just looks awesome as all goodness.
Both guys counter each other’s finisher and then AJ just chucks Petey into the corner. That’s one way to do it I guess. AJ has the pin but the fat Canadian coach interrupts it. AJ kicks out of a belt shot so at least the match should be ok for the ending as that would have killed it for me. After more interference, we get the awesome finish as Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer, which is just completely awesome. It’s a jumping flip piledriver. In other words he’s got him in a regular piledriver but jumps forward and does a full flip before hitting it. That’s just amazing on a lot of levels.
Rating: B. This was very fun but AJ should have gone over here. I mean it’s your biggest show and your top face for the most part goes over to a generic guy with a cool finisher. That just doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s TNA so why am I surprised? Fun match though.
Petey would team up with various members of Team Canada, including at Hard Justice 2005.
Team Canada vs. Apollo/Sonny Siaki
Apollo is a Puerto Rican guy I think. This is Williams/Young instead of Roode/Young. Siaki is a Samoan but not related to the famous Samoan family. The Canadians jump them to start but get knocked to the floor just as fast. We officially start with Apollo vs. Williams. Off to Siaki quickly who speeds things up. Neckbreaker gets two on Young. The non-Canadians hit one of the biggest backdrops I’ve ever seen on Young.
D’Amore screams at the announcers about something. That distracts Apollo and the Canadians take over. Elbow gets two for Young. Apollo manages to get in a knee lift which is enough to bring in both Siaki and Williams. Powerslam gets two on Williams. D’Amore hooks the foot of Siaki on a suplex attempt but it only gets two. Apollo spears Young down but he gets caught in a pretty awful looking top rope rana by Williams. With everything falling apart, A-1 (another Canadian) runs in and Jackhammers Siaki so Williams can steal the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine for an opener but the match itself was nothing of note. Apollo and Siaki both looked great but they didn’t have much going for them other than that. Apollo went back to Puerto Rico soon and was a much bigger deal. Siaki wasn’t around much longer, at least not in anything important.
What would a TNA wrestler be without an Ultimate X match?
Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley
Ultimate X, #1 contender’s match. Petey goes up but Sabin pulls him down and the faces (I think?) beat on him a bit. Williams counters a suplex from Sabin into one of his own but Bentley comes in with a kick to slow Petey down again. Wheelbarrow suplex puts Williams down again and Bentley goes up. Petey takes Matt down again but Traci’s (Bentley’s chick) rack distracts him. Matt goes up but Sabin pulls him down.
It’s Sabin vs. Bentley at the moment while D’Amore coaches Williams. Sabin picks Williams up and puts him in Razor’s Edge position, throwing him at Bentley in the corner. Sabin tries to climb but barely gets started before Bentley makes the save. We’re way too early in the match for a potential win anyway. Petey sends Bentley to the floor and hits a SWEET slingshot rana to put him down even further.
Everyone is back in now and Bentley hits a neckbreaker on Sabin and a cutter on Williams at the same time. Matt goes climbing but Sabin follows him and hooks a powerbomb to take both guys down in a painful looking move. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey sings O Canada. Bentley pops up and dropkicks him off and out to the floor before going up. Sabin gets out of the Tree and shoves him down, before diving on both guys when the X was there for the grabbing because Sabin is an idiot.
Sabin goes up and Bentley dives at him with a shoulder block. That knocks Sabin down, but it knocks the X down as well. We more or less stop the match so that the crew can put the X up again with a ladder. The fans chant USE THE LADDER. Sabin and Bentley go up for the X but knock each other off. The X falls and Petey catches it, so TNA says screw the rules, Williams wins.
Rating: D+. The match was good, but there’s really no excuse for the ending. Put it up there again and have someone get it immediately or whatever, but COME ON. This was just freaking stupid and it makes the company look inept because they can’t get their own signature match right. Invest in some better tape guys.
Petey would compete in the World X Cup in 2006, including this match at Sacrifice 2006.
World X Cup Second Round: Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Petey Williams
Actually this is worth three points. Petey takes him to the mat and the fans are all over him. To be fair he’s fighting a legend so it’s understandable. I think they botch an elbow drop spot as Liger dropped the elbow but Williams took over anyway. A headscissors puts Liger to the apron but he low bridges Williams to the floor. Liger adds a huge dive to take over again.
Team Japan acts all evil and pounds on Petey on the floor. Back into the ring and Liger hooks the surfboard which is one of his signature holds. He drops Petey down into a dragon sleeper and now the annoying fans have to do the dueling chants. A frog splash by Liger hits knees and Petey hits a spinwheel kick to put Liger down again.
Liger tries a palm thrust but walks into an enziguri and tornado DDT for two. Petey loads up the Destroyer but Jushin comes back with a palm thrust and the Liger Bomb for two. A member of Team Japan interferes with a low blow. Liger follows with the Crash Thunder Buster (wheelbarrow facejam) for the pin.
Rating: C+. This was pretty good and a solid choice for an opener. Liger is one of the few guys from Japan that people actually know a bit here in America so his appearances are actually worth something. Having people go out there and just saying they’re from Japan or Mexico or wherever doesn’t really mean anything. Liger could still go in his late 30s or early 40s so this worked pretty well.
Petey challenged for the X-Division Title again at Hard Justice 2006.
X-Division Title: Senshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams
Williams knocks Lethal to the floor and follows him out with a rana off the apron. Senshi dives out to the floor, takes out both guys and lands on his feet. It’s Lethal vs. Senshi at the moment. Williams comes back in and walks into a Liger Kick from Senshi. Lethal back up now but he misses a moonsault out of the corner. Senshi shoves Lethal into Williams and Williams kicks Lethal down.
Petey puts Lethal in the Tree of Woe and does the O Canada spot. Senshi kicks Williams down and loads up the Warrior’s Way but Lethal comes back in for the save. Lethal’s superplex is broken up and Senshi dives onto Williams. Lethal stays up there and dropkicks both guys down, drawing a Lethal chant from the crowd. Both guys are slammed by Jay and he hits stereo low dropkicks to the face.
Lethal’s slide through Senshi’s legs for a sunset flip attempt is broken up by a kick and they all try to roll each other up. Jay gutwrench suplexes Senshi down but gets caught in a Sharpshooter by Williams. Senshi breaks that up with a kick to Petey for two but gets caught in a release German for two from Lethal. Swan Dive to Petey misses and there’s the Canadian Destroyer to Lethal. Senshi kicks Williams down and pins Lethal to retain.
Rating: B-. Another good three way here as they had some great counters in there at the end. Senshi was a guy that I’ve always found uninteresting and Williams only had one move and Lethal was pretty dull without the Savage stuff, but they combined for a decent match here. I think Sabin would take the title off Senshi.
In 2007, Bobby Roode would feud with Eric Young. This led to Eric getting a friend helping him out, which would wind up being Petey. From Lockdown 2007.
Petey Williams vs. Robert Roode
Roode is the rich dude still. Young is with Roode and gets yelled at before the match. Petey hammers away to start and controls early with speed and stomping. Springboard Codebreaker gets two. Williams does the Tree of Woe spot where he stands on Roode’s balls and sings O Canada. Roode manages to send him into the buckle to shift momentum and I remember why I never wanted to see him get a singles push.
Roode is just totally uninteresting at this point. If you think he’s boring now, today’s Roode has NOTHING on 07 Roode. A SICK clothesline puts Williams down and Eric is just kind of sitting there and doesn’t like what he’s seeing. Middle rope kneedrop gets two. Off to the chinlock. Petey makes a comeback and tries a crucifix for two but he eats cage to break that up. I don’t remember anyone else going into the cage all night until then.
Rock Bottom gets two. Brooks tries to send in a hockey stick but Young makes the save. Williams hits something that we miss as Brooks and Eric are fighting outside. Williams hits a rana back inside as the camera is from above the cage for some reason. The camera goes back to Young so AGAIN we miss whatever Petey uses for two. A dropkick doesn’t hit Roode but he goes into the corner anyway.
Despite that PAINFUL missing dropkick, Roode hits a spinebuster for two. The Canadian sitcom on the floor continues as Roode demands the hockey stick, but Petey hits a cool DDT for two. Now Petey asks for the stick and a few shots with it take Roode down. And Hebner intercepts it because we can’t have weapons in a cage or something. Rollup gets two for Williams. Destroyer is countered and the Payoff (PerfectPlex) ends this.
Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Young was wildly popular at this point which shows you how bad Roode was, considering even he couldn’t get over with Young out there. Roode was just so boring and uninteresting that he needed Beer Money or he would have had nothing else to do.
Petey would start copying Scott Steiner, becoming known as Maple Leaf Muscle. Here’s one of their showdowns at Against All Odds 2008.
Petey Williams vs. Scott Steiner
Petey likes to copy Scott which he was told not to do pre-match. They pose for a bit which is a bit more disturbing than it should be. Steiner easily overpowers him of course so Petey tries to speed things up a bit which doesn’t work either. Some strikes work a bit for Petey but it’s hard to fight against a big overhead belly to belly. Elbow and pushups follow.
Another belly to belly off the top gets two but Steiner pulls him up. Steiner gets an Angle Slam off the top but again pulls Williams up. He goes to the floor and gets the two cases, wedging them between the ropes as you often see done with chairs. The referee stops him but Williams manages to shove Steiner into the case. Rana takes Steiner down for two. Canadian Destroyer is countered into an Alabama Slam for a long two.
Steiner Recliner can’t get on though as Williams rolls him up instead for two. Williams hits a dropkick and a slingshot Codebreaker to set up a top rope crossbody for two. Williams puts on the Steiner Recliner which is as miserable of a chinlock as I’ve ever seen. Tornado DDT gets two for Williams. Steiner gets sent into the other case and a missile dropkick puts down Steiner. Rhaka Khan debuts and distracts Petey so that a Last Ride can end Petey.
Rating: C-. Better match than you would expect but Steiner was never in any real danger here. I never got the appeal of mini Steiner in the form of Williams. Steiner never really went anywhere until the Mafia came up. This was watchable but at the same time it wasn’t anything great at all.
Petey would cash in the X-Division case and win the title. Here’s a defense at Slammiversary 2008.
X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Kaz
Williams is champion and has Scott Steiner/Rhaka Khan with him. Petey also has a broken orbital bone so he’s in a mask. In a nice move, Kaz has on a wristlock and Petey tries to roll through it. Kaz grabs him into a rollup as he tries to for two. That looked good. They hit the mat into some pinfall reversals and Kan escapes the Destroyer attempt. Kaz gets a slingshot dropkick in the corner for no cover as Petey hits the floor.
Kaz fires off some kicks and the fans are split. They go to the floor and Khan distracts Kaz enough to let Petey get a tornado DDT off the apron to take over. Petey takes over but Kaz gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two. O’Connor Roll gets two and the kickout puts Kaz on the floor. Petey hits that SWEET slingshot rana to take over again. The fans are split again and it fires Kaz up a bit.
Petey works the arm as that comeback was pretty short lived. Kaz gets in a big kick and both guys are down. He fires off a bunch of strikes and hits a release spinebuster for two. Slingshot DDT gets the same. The fans say this is awesome and I’m not entirely sure I’d go that far. It’s good but not awesome. Williams speeds things up and the Canadian hits a Russian on the American.
He loads up the Destroyer but Kaz escapes. Petey hits a cool move that looks like a fisherman’s suplex but he slings backwards into a DDT instead. Kaz fights back and tries the Flux Capacitor (C4) off the top but Petey escapes that also. There’s very little selling in these matches at all. Another Destroyer attempt is countered into the Fade to Black for two.
Khan comes in so there’s an enziguri for you. The distraction lets Scott slide in the pipe (that’s what she said?) and Petey kills him with it. Kaz is busted but he kicks out. Destroyer attempt #8 is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Sharpshooter but Kaz counters into the Wave of the Future (spinning downward spiral) for two. The referee JUMPED over them to get there and got to three before Williams kicked out but who cares about that? Steiner distracts Kaz and it’s enough for Petey to hook the Destroyer and we’re done.
Rating: B-. Good opener here with both guys looking good. Kaz was getting a world title shot on Thursday so this was a bit worthless by comparison. Obviously he would lose there but that’s another story. This was fast paced but the lack of selling started to show in the middle as nothing could keep someone down for more than ten seconds.
One more Steiner vs. Petey match after they’ve split. From Against All Odds 2009.
Scott Steiner vs. Petey Williams
Steiner shoves him around to start. Time for some arm work as Petey is in trouble. Petey tries to speed things up and hits a missile dropkick for two. He goes up again but gets caught in a belly to belly off the middle rope. Clothesline and elbow set up the pushups. Williams can’t get a tornado DDT as Scott keeps the advantage. Petey gets draped over the top rope and Scott gets an elevated Downward Spiral for two.
Williams gets a boot up in the corner to slow things down a bit and they slug it out. They go up top and Petey is able to knock him off and hit a cross body. There’s the tornado DDT but it’s not very good. Steiner is finally like enough of this and counters a Canadian Destroyer attempt. Petey settles for an enziguri instead to set up a slingshot Codebreaker to put Scott down again.
The fans are split here, proving that faces and heel mean nothing to these idiots called Impact Zone fans. Petey grabs a rollup for two. Dropkick puts Scott on the floor but a slingshot rana is caught in a powerbomb to the floor. Steiner Recliner goes on and Williams is able to get to the ropes. Yes, the move that choked out everything in sight in WCW is broken up by Petey freaking Williams here. We actually get the Steiner Screwdriver here to end it. That move is SICK.
Rating: C. Not bad here but Petey’s offense was a lot like what a jobber would use. This wasn’t a squash but it was getting close to one at points. The Screwdriver (kind of at least. This was more like a Piledriver) is always a nice touch since it’s only used once every few years. Not much here, but nothing great at all.
Petey would make the occasional appearance in ROH, including this one at Bitter Friends Stiffer Enemies II.
Rhett Titus vs. Petey Williams
He’s Addicted to Love Rhett Titus mind you, which mainly means he has some hilarious named for his moves. They make dick jokes to start us off and I’m fearing a comedy match here. Williams hooks a reverse figure four which was a nice hold there. And now let’s talk about Chris Hero. Ok then.
We get a nice wrestling sequence and then a long spot calling thing. This has been almost all counters and rest holds. So after the last match was almost all strikes, this one has almost none. Got it. The announcers are getting on my nerves. There goes the bowtie! I have no idea what that means but I’m going to make it seem like it’s a big deal by ending it with an exclamation point!
Titus is dominating here, which wasn’t the case at Apocalypse but there we are. Do we really need all these annoying jokes from the announcers? Yeah I’m thinking no on that one. This match just isn’t interesting me at all. It’s not particularly bad but it’s just not interesting at all. Williams has Titus set for a Sharpshooter and turns around and just stops so Titus can roll him up.
What the heck was that supposed to be? The Sharpshooter goes on and it means nothing at all. We hit the floor as Williams hits a rana over the top. Titus hits a Fameasser and then a top rope knee drop for two. Williams goes for the Canadian Destroyer and gets caught in a backdrop and the feet on the ropes end it. Post match Williams goes for the Destroyer again but Titus gets out of it.
Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me at all. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that impressive. It felt like a match that belonged far earlier in the card and this one just didn’t work for me. Like I said it’s not bad, but it’s just not something I had any interest in watching at all.
Here’s a match from February 19, 2011 in a promotion I’d actually like to check out in more detail at some point: Lucha Libre USA.
Petey Williams vs. L.A. Park
Williams is in a heel stable called The Right and they use a six sided ring. Petey hammers away to start and drops him with a big right hand. A headscissors puts Park down and a middle rope hurricanrana sends him to the floor. Williams nails a nice suicide dive but both guys are a bit staggered. Back in and they take a good while to call a spot for some reason before Park avoids a series of shots in the corner.
Park grabs the referee for no apparent reason and throws him into a sunset flip on Williams with a fast three count. The referee celebrates because he’s an imbecile before Park grabs a powerslam for a real near fall. Petey gets the same off a DDT and a Downward Spiral as they’re just going from move to move here. Park kicks at the legs and nails a Backstabber but Petey grabs the rope. Now it’s Williams getting knocked outside so Park can hit a dive of his own. Park superplexes him back in but Williams is up at two. Back up and Park hits a reverse DDT into a clothesline for the pin.
Rating: D. The match was longer than it needed to be and I was getting bored by the end. There isn’t anything to it for the most part as everything was spot after spot, which doesn’t make for an entertaining match most of the time. This was part of the Right vs. the rest of the company, meaning some promos would have made this a lot more interesting.
Petey would come back to TNA for One Night Only: X-Travaganza in 2013.
Rashad Cameron/Anthony Nese vs. Kid Kash/Douglas Williams
Williams and Cameron start things off with Doug looking older than usual. Doug takes him down by the leg and puts on a kind of reverse Boston Crab where Kash can kick Cameron in the face. Cameron and Williams run the ropes a bit until Rashad dropkicks Doug down. Off to Kash as this could be a trainwreck in a hurry. Thankfully Nese comes in quickly and things speed WAY up as they trade controlling holds on the mat. We get some sweet chain wrestling until Kash takes over with knees and chops.
Nese comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body for two and a clothesline to send Kash to the floor. Anthony loads up a dive, only to be taken down by Williams. Doug heads to the floor with Kash and there’s a big dive by Cameron, followed by an even better one by Nese. Back in and Nese jumps into a forearm from Kash as Taz is talking about investment banking and area codes.
Williams knocks Cameron off the apron as the old guys take over on Nese. Kash comes in for some solid stomping before it’s back to Williams. The old guys do some old school double teaming on Cameron who has no idea how to deal with it. Kash and Earl Hebner get into it a bit in the corner before Kash hits a hard chop on Cameron. Back to Williams for a kick to the back and a nice snap suplex for no cover.
Kash comes in to work on the knee in a vain attempt to add some psychology here. Some hard kicks by Kash to the chest keep Cameron down as Taz starts talking about Aces and 8’s. Well we made it through forty minutes so it was bound to happen soon. Kash breaks up a quick comeback with a forearm but his moonsault hits knees. Hot (I think?) tag brings in Nese as things speed up again.
Back to Williams who misses a clothesline and gets kicked down by Nese. A nice pumphandle powerbomb gets two for Anthony as everything breaks down. Nese hits a running knee to Williams’ head for two as Rashad dives on Kash on the floor. A quick rollup gets two for Anthony but he gets caught in the Rolling Chaos Theory for the pin by Williams.
Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me. I’m not a fan of most of the guys in this match and the ending was just kind of there. That’s one of the major problems with this show: there aren’t going to be any in depth stories and barely any stories at all. That’s fine if the matches are really good, but this was only decent at best.
Petey would come back to TNA on a semi-regular basis in 2013, including this match on Impact, April 4, 2013.
Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Mason Andrews
Winner gets a title shot, presumably next week. Everyone starts with fast near falls until Andrews has to back away from a potential double team. A quick dropkick gets two on Williams for Dutt but Petey comes back with a suicide dive to take out Andrews. Dutt joins them on the floor and it’s Andrews taking over. Back inside and a backbreaker gets two on Williams but Andrews has to knock Dutt off the apron. A middle rope elbow gets two on Williams but Dutt is back in as well with an octopus hold on Petey.
Andrews breaks that up but can’t hit something out of a fireman’s carry on Williams. Dutt comes back in with a springboard dropkick to both guys at once. A kick in the corner puts Andrews on the ropes and there’s a springboard legdrop to the back of his head, followed by a springboard splash for two.
Petey is back in and decks Andrews but hits a Russian legsweep and short range Downward Spiral on Dutt. The Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver) is broken up and Andrews hits a quick top rope rana on Williams. Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bred on Andrews but a top rope double stomp misses. The Destroyer hits Andrews to give Williams the shot at 5:19.
Rating: C+. Yeah it was fun, but this is the exact same thing we see from the X-Division every time: no story, the same stealing pin attempts, the same fast finishes. Yeah they’re flashy, but it gets really monotonous after awhile. But hey, EVERY MATCH IS A THREE WAY, so it has to be interesting right? I mean, why put effort into it when you can put a one size fits all sticker on there?
Petey would appear at Destination X 2013.
Homicide vs. Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt
This is the first of three qualifying matches for an Ultimate X title match next week. Homicide sends both guys to the floor for a big dive before Petey takes over back inside. The slingshot Codebreaker takes Homicide down and Dutt is put in a leg lock, only to have Homicide come off the top with a headbutt to break it up.
Homicide takes both guys down and gets two on Dutt but Petey is back in. Dutt is crotched on the top but neither Homicide nor Petey can hit their finisher. Dutt suplexes Williams out of the corner and into the Gringo Killer but Dutt hits his standing sliced bread on Homicide. The moonsault double stomp is enough for Dutt to pin Homicide at 4:10.
Rating: C+. This was fine but it continues the same trend of all these three ways: every time I watch one I feel like a five year old leaving the dentist: it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it still wasn’t anything great. Homicide wouldn’t sell a thing other than the finisher, which is still awesome.
Another One Night Only, this time in the Tag Team Tournament.
Tag Team Tournament Play-In: Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me
I can never remember which is Jeremy and which is Max. Then again I could never remember which Hardy was which at first so maybe they’re more comparable than I thought. Dutt starts with a headlock on let’s say Jeremy and gets a Let’s Go Senshi chant. Jeremy comes back with a Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner and a double seated dropkick puts Dutt down again. Sonjay tags in Petey to speed things up with a dropkick to Max’s back. Everything breaks down and the non-brothers are both knocked to the floor. A headscissors from Jeremy sends Sonjay into a Max dropkick for two in a nice double team.
It’s Dutt in trouble now as the crowd is trying to get into this. The Bucks work on the arm for a bit before Max hooks a chinlock. Sonjay fights up and tags in Petey to clean house again with a slingshot Codebreaker and a running knee to take the Bucks down. A spin into a Russian legsweep gets two on Max but Jeremy breaks up the Canadian Destroyer attempt. Sonjay comes back in with a springboard double dropkick for two as the cameraman is taken down.
Jeremy gets caught in the corner for some fast tagging by Williams and Dutt. Petey gets caught in a bulldog out of the corner and it’s hot tag to Max. Dutt gets taken down by a CM Punk running knee/bulldog out of the corner as everything breaks down. Jeremy dives through the ropes to take Petey down on the floor as Sonjay gets two off the standing Sliced Bread.
Petey comes back in for another Russian legsweep on Max but Jeremy superkicks him down. More Bang For Your Buck (fireman’s carry slam by Jeremy into a 450 by Max into a moonsault from Jeremy) gets two on Sonjay as Petey makes the save and hits the Canadian Destroyer on Max, only to have Jeremy kick Williams in the face for the pin.
Rating: C. Take four guys, let them do high spots on each other for eight minutes, listen to the crowd cheer for them. The match was nothing great but there were some nice high spots to wake the crowd up. Petey was the best guy out there as Sonjay looked slow and the Bucks were their usual sloppy selves.
We’ll wrap it up with X-Travaganza II.
Ultimate X Qualifying Match: Petey Williams vs. Tigre Uno
Only Williams can qualify. They trade arm work to start (of course) before Petey drives him into the corner. A bouncing hurricanrana takes Williams out to the floor and a big corkscrew dive puts him down again. Back in and Petey puts on a half crab before changing over to a Crossface and then the Rings of Saturn. That goes nowhere so Williams puts him in the Tree of Woe and stands on Tigre’s crotch to sing O Canada.
Tigre comes back with an enziguri, counters a German suplex and nails another enziguri for good measure. In a quick ending, Tigre goes up and tries what looks to be a seated senton splash but it turns into a low blow for the pin. Petey pops up and seems surprised by the ending and doesn’t sell the move.
Rating: D. You bring Petey Williams back and he doesn’t even try the one move that people remember him for? Tigre Uno is one of the few guys in the X-Division that can actually do anything and he gets to beat a single guy and then go home for the night? This concept continues to make less and less sense every match.
Petey Williams is a guy who took one move and turned it into a career. Yeah he could do some other stuff, but almost every match he has is just building up towards the piledriver. He was a really entertaining lackey to Scott Steiner and got over again as Maple Leaf Muscle. I’m not the biggest fan in the world but the guy really isn’t all that bad.
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Today we’ll look at someone a bit better looking than Raven: Mickie James.
Mickie got started under the name Alexis Laree in 1999. She was mainly a manager but also wrestled at times. We’ll pick things up with an indy company called Southern Championship Wrestling on June 28, 2001.
Alexis Laree vs. Persephone
I’ve never heard of Persephone. Alexis has a title here and is rocking (?) some spiked shoulder pads ala the Legion of Doom. She stalls to start for awhile and Persephone is clearly the favorite. Laree jumps her and they slug it out with the champion getting the better of it. Persephone gets two off a rollup and two more off a fisherman’s suplex. A low blow has no effect on Persephone so Alexis kicks her in the back a few times.
Laree goes outside for no apparent reason and gets caught with a baseball slide to the back. They chop it out on the floor with Persephone getting the better of it, only to have Alexis take over back inside. Some other chick comes out and pulls Alexis to the floor for a beating and I’m assuming that’s a DQ.
Rating: D+. They weren’t all that good yet but it was clear that they were needing ring time more than anything else. The match wasn’t terrible but it was smart to cut it as short as they did. Persephone was pretty much a Lita knockoff with blonde hair, but to be fair Lita was the most popular Diva in like forever at this point.
Laree would head to TNA where she would appear on Weekly PPV #38 on April 2, 2003.
Trinity vs. Alexis Laree
Trinity takes her into the corner to start but Alexis grabs a wristlock. That gets her taken down into an armbar and a headscissors sends Alexis outside. Back in and Laree takes over with kicks to the back followed by a basement dropkick for two. Trinity gets thrown outside and the camera makes sure to get in position behind her. Back in and Trinity kicks her in the face but takes WAY too long going up. Trinity is able to shove her down but misses the moonsault. This brings out Raven to sit in the corner, but Trinity kicks Alexis in the face and hits a standing shooting star for the pin.
Rating: D+. Trinity is an old favorite of mine as she was always in great shape and had the awesome looking long black hair. Oh and she could hit a great moonsault. Anyway, this was back when the division was just past Bruce being the women’s champion so these two were a breath of fresh air. Alexis got WAY better since 2001.
Off to OVW, where Alexis was actually in a TV Title tournament. She beat Mike Mondo in the first round, setting up this second round match. From OVW TV on May 28, 2005.
TV Title Tournament Second Round: Bobby Lashley vs. Alexis Laree
Lashley gives her the chance to walk out before the match but one of his managers named Miss Blue offers to take his place. They get in a catfight in the ring until Lashley pulls Alexis off. The bell rings and it’s a powerslam to give Lashley the pin. Yes this was just a novelty to fill in a spot.
Alexis would start going by her real name of Mickie James and debut in WWE in late 2005. She started as a lesbian stalker of Trish Stratus, setting up an eventual showdown at Wrestlemania XXII.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James
Mickie is challenging and has those awesome skirts that go all over the place. Trish is looking great too with the usual attire but showing her stomach as well. Trish is all aggressive here and chops Mickie down into the splits. They head to the floor but the Chick Kick hits the post. Mickie wraps the leg around the post and is still looking very psycho. Back in and a dropkick to the knee takes Trish down again, as does a dragon screw leg whip for two.
The fans chant for Mickie and I can’t say I blame them. Mickie wraps the leg around the ropes before driving it down into the mat for good measure. Off to a half crab followed by a knee crank but Trish power up and hooks a spinning headscissors to put James down. Trish comes back with the forearms and a spinebuster of all things for two. Trish’s corner splash hits feet but as Mickie goes up, Stratus tries the Stratusphere but gets slammed down for a sexy two. A rana is countered into a powerbomb for two and Trish is TICKED.
Trish tries the Matrish but the knee gives out. Instead she tries Stratusfaction but Mickie gropes Trish’s crotch to break it up. It’s exactly what it sounds like. Mickie licks her fingers so Trish DRILLS HER with a forearm. Trish keeps firing away but the knee gives out, and then the match falls off the rails. Mickie tries the Stratusfaction but COMPLETELY misses the rope, making it almost look like a botched atomic drop by Trish. Instead Mickie hits a lame Chick Kick to end Trish’s reign. JR sums it up perfectly: “The nutjob won the title!”
Rating: B-. This was one of the best Divas matches ever but the ending cripples it. The idea here was that it wasn’t a women’s match but rather a match featuring women in it. These two were beating each other up and Trish had real emotion out there. Mickie was PERFECT for this character and you really felt like she had a screw loose. The sexuality was there but it wasn’t the focus which is nice for a change. It’s nice to see a real story and a real fight between two people who happen to be gorgeous women. Good stuff here.
We’ll jump ahead to Mickie challenging for the title again at Survivor Series 2006.
Women’s Title: Lita vs. Mickie James
Lita is defending and this is her retirement match. I miss Mickie with those skirts that keep flying up. Lita slaps Mickie in the face to start, causing Mickie to choke away in the corner. The champ comes back by literally throwing Mickie around which is a bit less than what you would expect from someone as talented as Lita. Mickie goes up and gets slammed off the top as this is one sided so far.
A quick snap suplex gets two for Lita as this continues to be slow. I can’t at all complain about the upskirt shots of Mickie though. Off to a sleeper by Lita which is the last thing this match needed. Mickie gets in the ropes and avoids a charge in the corner. She goes up and is immediately suplexed down for two. Now the fans think Lita has herpes.
Mickie hits a SWEET spinning kick to take Lita’s head off followed by a fisherman’s suplex for two (and a GREAT crotch shot of Mickie). Moonsault gets two for Lita but the Edgecution is countered, giving Mickie two. They trade rollups and Mickie hits the jumping DDT to retire Lita and win the title.
Rating: D. Most of that is for getting great views of Mickie and Lita’s rocking cleavage. Other than that, this was some pretty uninspired stuff. Lita left when she should have as she had nothing left to accomplish and no one like Trish to work with. Pretty terrible match here but it passed the torch to Mickie who was indeed the future of the division.
Since this is the Divas division, we have to jump around a lot and go from title match to title match. Here’s another match from Backlash 2007.
Women’s Title: Melina vs. Mickie James
Melina is defending. Mickie is getting her return match here and is looking very bouncy tonight. They head to the mat to start with Mickie hitting a monkey flip for one. Off to a headlock by the challenger which is reversed into one by Melina. Mickie escapes that with ease so Melina pounds away as she can’t win a wrestling match here. Mickie mounts her (lucky) and pounds away as well.
James goes up top but gets sent out to the floor to give Melina control. She chokes Mickie in the ropes and then hooks a full nelson with her legs. Now it’s a choke in the corner but Mickie escapes. And never mind as Melina comes off with a seated senton to take over again immediately. That gets two so Mickie tries her spin kick. That fails also as Melina counters, sending Mickie down into the splits. James hooks Melina’s legs and they slug it out with both girls in a splits position.
Mickie makes her comeback with forearms and hair tosses. She’s very fired up here and it looks like a good comeback instead of the usual lame Divas offense. Mickie’s rana out of the corner is countered as Melina sends her to the apron. She pops back up and hits a top rope cross body for two. Back to the corner and Melina hits a kick to the head followed by a reverse DDT to retain.
Rating: C+. This was one of the best Divas match I’ve seen in YEARS. Mickie was awesome as was Melina, but most importantly of all: this was treated like a match between two women, rather than a Divas match if that makes sense. The match wasn’t treated like anything different, which is the best thing they could do with the Divas anymore. Also it got time, which helped a lot.
We’ll jump ahead a good bit to Judgment Day 2008 for a match with probably Mickie’s biggest rival.
Raw Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Melina vs. Mickie James
Mickie is champion. So we’re like an hour and 10 minutes into this show and the Smackdown guys haven’t called a single thing. Gotta love the treatment of the B show. Beth and Melina argued about the title shot and we see why Beth doesn’t talk like ever. Mickie is still all bubbly and hot at this point. Not that she’s not hot now but you get this idea. THIS somehow gets big match intros. Wow indeed.
Beth tells Melina to get out of her ring so Melina drills her with a kick. Mickie grabs a victory roll for two on Melina and it’s one on one for awhile. Beth pulls her out and it’s challenger vs. challenger. Yeah I don’t care either but you have three hot chicks out there so how much can I complain?
Mickie back in now and we get some nifty triple person spots. James throws on something like a Tazmission on Beth which goes nowhere. Regal Cutter to Melina allows Mickie to go up, only to get….uh…..pussied by Melina. They speed things up a bit and Mickie gets a top rope Thesz Press to Beth followed by a HARD seated dropkick. In your HOLY CRAP spot of the night, Beth puts them both in an over the shoulder body vice for about 12 seconds. Mickie gets the jumping DDT to Melina quickly after that to retain but dude, WHO CARES? I’m still getting over that body vice move which was insanely awesome.
Rating: C+. Better Divas match than usual actually as all three chicks were working hard out there and the result was rather good stuff. When Melina is the ugliest chick out there you can’t really go wrong. With an awesome spot like that and a pretty good match other than that, this was one of the better Diva matches I’ve seen in awhile.
Off to Raw on September 8, 2008 for a required six Divas tag.
Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly
The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.
Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.
Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.
Mickie would go after the newly created Divas Title at Night of Champions 2009.
Raw Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Maryse
Make it quick please. Yeah as looks go, Mickie is way ahead of Maryse. The fans want puppies. And people wonder why this division is never taken seriously. The match is your standard slapfest of course. Maryse tries to use her perfume or whatever but gets stopped.
We’re in our second rest hold six minutes into the match. This just isn’t interesting at all. Cole almost says the name of the wrong title. There is simply no need to have two belts. If you had just one it could potentially work. Mickie hits her jumping DDT to get the title to next to no reaction.
Rating: D. People don’t care about women’s wrestling and that’s really all there is to it. It’s not nice but it’s true. This just wasn’t interesting at all. The buildup was Mickie has beaten the jobbers this month so she gets the title shot because she’s on a roll. That’s it. I’m looking forward to Michelle vs. Mickie as there’s an actual story to it. This didn’t and it was painfully obvious.
Mickie would get into a controversial feud with Laycool over Mickie’s weight, which is practically not there. Here’s their showdown at Royal Rumble 2010.
Women’s Title: Michelle McCool vs. Mickie James
Pre match Michelle runs her mouth about how fat Mickie is and accuses her of skipping out on the match. Michelle offers cake and here’s Layla in a Mickie Pig costume. The real Mickie sprints to the ring and hits a Thesz Press on Layla on the floor. She heads inside, sends Michelle into Layla and hits the MickieDT for the pin and the title in 20 seconds.
It was off to TNA after this with Mickie with one of her first major matches at Against All Odds 2011.
Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James
Madison’s song is irritating as all goodness. Mickie is dressed like Pocahontas for some reason. She’s sent into the steps and the count is on. Remember that you have to answer a ten count or you lose. They fight up the ramp a bit with Madison in control. Mickie gets in a shot to send Madison into the post for about five. Taz tries to take a shot at the Divas and it doesn’t work that well.
Mickie gets a kick in and clotheslines Madison using the rope to send her to the floor for seven. Cross body off the apron by Mickie puts both girls down. She tries to get the loaded glove off but can’t quite get there. And now we have a shot of the empty ring as the girls are under the ring. Madison comes out as you can hear the crowd talking. Ah there’s Mickie.
She morphs into karate action Mickie to put Madison down with a series of kicks. And then with Madison down Mickie picks her up like a moron. Back in the ring Mickie goes up and gets shoved off to the floor. That gets a long nine which probably should have been ten. Madison loads up the glove but Mickie gets a shot to the arm.
Thesz Press off the top puts Madison down for two. Spinning kick puts the champion down again and Mickie steals the glove. At about 8 Tara (called Victoria by Tazz) comes out to break it up. Madison pulls brass knucks out of her boot and drills Mickie to keep the freaking title. Oh dang it just give Mickie her title already!
Rating: C+. Decent match here but the ending was just stupid. There is ZERO justification to keep the title on Madison here and yet they’re just going to keep on doing it. Well sure why not. It’s not like no one cares about her or she’s nothing special in the ring or her gimmick is boring. Good match, bad decision at the end.
Mickie would put her hair on the line for a chance at the Knockouts Title at Lockdown 2011.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne
Mickie’s shoulder is taped and Madison can’t get her tiara off. At least the girls both look great. Mickie jumps Madison as the bell rings and sends her into the cage three times within the first twenty seconds. Jumping DDT and we’re done in 30 seconds.
We’ll jump to TV for a bit with Impact, September 1, 2011.
Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James
Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.
Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.
Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”
Another one from January 19, 2012.
Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne
Mickie starts fast and rams her into the buckle to start. Powerbomb out of the corner hits and we’re officially longer than the Lockdown match from last year. Seated dropkick gets a delayed two. Mickie hooks something like a choke and Madison is in trouble. Madison escapes and hits a HARD kick to take over. That sounded great. Mickie reverses a whip and we take a break.
Back with Mickie in control again. This has been pretty one sided so far. Mickie takes her down and nips up but Madison sends her into the cage to take over. Madison humps the mat with Mickie’s head between her legs. Somehow that’s a lot less hot than you would expect. Off to the chinlock. Madison has a little American flag patch on her shorts. Not sure why but it looks good there.
Mickie fights up and a neckbreaker from James puts both of them down. They slug it out, won by Mickie. A flying forearm and clothesline put Madison down. Another flapjack attempt is countered and a boot gets two for Rayne. And then Mickie rams her into the cage a few times and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 12:23.
Rating: C. Not bad here but nothing classic. It’s so much better in this division than the Divas, and a lot of that is due to the time. The Divas matches get annoying because they’re just there and gone so fast that they don’t mean anything. The Knockouts don’t have masterpieces but they have matches, which is a big step in the right direction.
Mickie would go after the title again because there aren’t many stories with the Knockouts. From Final Resolution 2012.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Tara
They fight over wrist/arm control to start as the announcers talk about Tara being in her city’s athletics hall of fame. This turns into a discussion of USC football as Tara wants to kiss Jesse a bit. Mickie gets a rollup and northern lights for a pair of two counts and there’s the rana to put Tara down again. Tara gets sent into Jesse but the distraction lets Tara get in a kick to the face to take over.
Back in and Tara hooks Mickie in an over the shoulder hair pull. Why she doesn’t just hit the Widow’s Peak from there is anyone’s guess. Mickie gets a rollup for two but Jesse has the referee’s attention. The spinning sidewalk slam gets two for Tara and it’s off to a body vice for the champ. Mickie makes her comeback with a lot of kicks (a running theme tonight) and gets two off an enziguri. Tara is thrown onto Jesse again, so Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top to the floor to take Tara out again. Jesse gets kicked in the face, but the distraction lets Tara hit the Widow’s Peak to retain at 7:51.
Rating: C-. Not bad here but again, we need new blood in the division. Not blood that hasn’t been around for awhile, but new blood in general. Jesse was the focus of this match which isn’t a good thing, but Mickie vs. Tara is such a played pairing that you can only care about it so much after this many matches.
We’ll wrap it up with Mickie’s last title win on Impact, May 23, 2013.
Knockouts Title: Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky
Velvet is defending and has a bad knee coming in. Mickie takes it down to the mat to start and cranks on the arm, only to have Velvet hit a fast dropkick for two. They slug it out until Mickie hits something like a swinging Bubba Bomb before hooking a full nelson as we take a break. Back with Velvet down and being put in a chinlock, only to fight up with an armdrag. Velvet fires off some clotheslines but her knee is giving out again. A headscissors gets the champion nowhere and I think they screw up a sequence setting up a Russian legsweep.
The second attempt works a bit better but Velvet is sent into the corner for a kick to the ribs. Now the headscissors works for Sky but her knee gives out after Mickie is down. A hard chop block takes Velvet down and Mickie has that evil look on her face for the first time in way too long. The MickieDT is enough for the pin and the title at 8:47.
Rating: D+. Mickie and Velvet both looked GREAT out there in their outfits, but the match was so sloppy that it was dragging things down. Velvet continues to look just a step above lost in the ring and Mickie can only do so much with her. Mickie seemingly turning heel here is a good thing though as she can play the psycho villain very well. The match wasn’t much though.
Mickie James was the successor to Trish and Lita and she held that up very well. The problem is she didn’t have the best crop of talent to work with her and it caused some issues. That being said, she can have a great match with the right opponent. The fact that she’s absolutely gorgeous didn’t hurt either.
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Today is Raven. What about him eh?
Raven
Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty Flamingo vs. Brian Pillman
Like I said, it’s Raven as a beach guy. Pillman is his usual insane self but in a good way here. Imagine Raven wearing pink biker shorts. That’s just odd as all goodness. We get some very nice chain wrestling which gets a decent pop from the crowd. The speed here on Raven is very interesting indeed as it just isn’t like him at all but it’s working rather well.
Pillman works the arm over for a LONG time but as he goes up top he’s told he’ll be disqualified if he jumps off. Yes, in the light heavyweight division, we can’t have people jump off the top rope. WE WANT ARMBARS! Oh there also are no mats outside so when you get thrown out you land on concrete. Watts actually defended this as making the wrestlers tough.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Seriously, there’s a big difference between toughening the wrestlers up and being a freaking prick that needs to get over himself HUGE. We shift into a mat based match which is fine as it’s what Scotty is best at. We’ve had WAY too many chinlocks in this.
Ok now we’re picking it up a bit as Pillman is just going nuts which means that the match is getting a lot better. After all kinds of jumping around and going all over the place though he dives at Flamingo on the ramp and just slams into the ramp. A knee to the back and Scotty gets the pin. My guess is that wasn’t a legit injury but it could have been.
Rating: B-. The chinlocks and rest holds killed this one from being great for me. I think 18 minutes was a bit too long for these two but it wasn’t a trainwreck at all. The parts that were good were good and the parts that were bad were bad. I liked it but a few minutes cut out would have helped it a lot.
Flamingo would go to the WWF and become Johnny Polo. He was mainly a manager but would occasionally have a match, including this one on Raw, December 27, 1993.
Johnny Polo vs. Marty Jannetty
Polo’s clients the Quebecers are on commentary and praising him for his in ring technique. Marty grabs a hammerlock to start but gets taken down for a standoff. Johnny grabs a headlock but gets sent into the buckle. An atomic drop and rollup get two each and it’s off to an armbar on the mat with Polo in trouble. Jannetty misses a charge and Johnny hits a dive to take him out again.
Back in and a cross body gets two for Marty but Johnny grabs a chinlock. That lasts all of two seconds before Jannetty gets all fired up and elbows Polo in the face. Johnny crotches him on the top but gets shoved down when trying a superplex. A high cross body gets two for Marty and a rollup gets the same. Marty dropkicks him out to the floor and ignores some Quebecer interference. He goes up top, only to dive on Pierre instead of Johnny. Back in and Marty tries a sunset flip but Johnny falls on top and Pierre offers some help for the pin.
Rating: D. This was pretty horrible with the lack of chemistry really hurting things. Polo wasn’t supposed to be any good but that presents a problem when you’re trying to have a match with him. I’ve seen far worse but this went on too long, especially with the ending. They could have done the same thing in about five minutes instead of nine.
It was off to ECW after this for the most famous character of Raven’s career: Raven, a loner who eventually acquired a stable called Raven’s Nest. He was very psychological and tormented various people. This would include a LONG feud with Tommy Dreamer, with one of the big matches coming at November to Remember 1995.
Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack
Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.
The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.
Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.
DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.
It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.
Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.
Another of Raven’s top feuds was with Sandman so we’ll look at a match from February of 1996.
ECW World Title: Raven vs. Sandman
I believe this is at Cyberslam 1996. Sandman, flanked by Missy Hyatt, finally starts his entrance after about two minutes of standing around. Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie quickly bail and the brawl is on after nearly eight minutes of entrances. Raven throws him outside and hits a plancha to take over. Sandman whips him into the barricade though and grabs a chair. He stands around for awhile before just kicking Raven in the head and walking around with him for awhile.
Back in and Sandman hits a delayed brainbuster before throwing Raven to the floor. There’s a plancha by the challenger before punching him into a chair back inside. Some Meanie interference lets Raven hit the Evenflow but Missy distracts the referee to prevent the pin. Sandman pops up and hits a DDT of his own, drawing in Raven’s chick Kimona. It’s catfight time and Stevie comes in for a superkick to give Raven two.
There goes the referee (like it matters) as Sandman “hits” a “legdrop” for two. The referee goes down again and here are Richards and Meanie to run interference. The Bruise Brothers (Harris Twins) come in with a double chokeslam for two on Sandman. Raven can’t get Sandman up for a suplex so he puts Sandman on top and pulls him face first onto the chair. The DDT on the chair retains Raven’s title.
Rating: D. Another overbooked mess that people call wrestling for some reason. The match was a glorified disaster but the best stuff in this feud was always the talking and storytelling. That being said, unfortunately we still had to sit through the wrestling and get driven crazy by the matches. Bad stuff here, again.
We’ll wrap up his ECW run with a match from Cyberslam 1997.
Raven/Brian Lee vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer
Raven is world champion. If Funk beats Raven, he gets a shot at the title at Barely Legal. Lee is a hired gun here. This is during the Dreamer can’t beat Raven angle which I would have ended at Barely Legal, but instead they went with Funk who is the guy that was from the NWA and therefore what they were against, but hey who cares about that right? Beulah, who is dating Tommy at this point, is here being her sexy self.
We get big match intros because we need to have them for what is I guess the main event. Raven comes in and lays down to let Dreamer beat him for the first time in his life so that Funk can’t get the pin to get the title shot. Dreamer, ever the moron, hits him instead. Raven pops up and says “Hey Dreamer why didn’t you pin me?” That was funny for some reason.
Off to Funk so Raven runs and hides. Dreamer comes in again as this is stupid so far. Powerslam by Lee and he brings in Raven. Dreamer gets a DDT and tags in Funk immediately to let him try to get a win. Back off to Lee as this has been pretty basic so far. Raven won’t fight Funk so the fans chant him a coward. Raven and Dreamer go to the floor and the others join them. An ECW match turning into a brawl? NO WAY!!!
They’re in the crowd already and I have a feeling I’ll be able to read a novel or so while this is going on. Funk and Raven wind up back in the ring and Raven hits him low. Dreamer and Lee are on the floor having the real fight since Funk is old and Raven is probably stoned. He grabs the mic and yells at Funk for awhile while everyone looks at Dreamer and Lee who are off camera.
This creates an obvious problem of Raven vs. Funk is more or less the occasional punch and Raven yelling while the fans are all looking away at the violence on the floor. Funk grabs the mic and I’d suggest a censor button on standby. He kicks Raven’s leg out a few times and it’s the spinning toe hold. Raven screams that he quits but there’s no referee. The referee finally comes in and Lee hits Funk with a trashcan.
Lee hammers on everyone with the trashcan. Dreamer tries to protect Funk so Funk keeps getting up. Funk can’t stand up and is bleeding from the ear. Oh I have a bad feeling where this might be going. Yep the doctors are here to check on Terry and he still wants to fight. Is this supposed to be impressive or something? Terry is put on a stretcher after a few attempts and is taken to the back.
And now it’s time to make this the big angle of the show as here’s Stevie Richards who is all ticked off at Raven which I guess explains him being in the triple threat at Barely Legal. Raven wants to be kicked but Lee picks Richards off and chokeslams him. Lori Fullington, Sandman’s ex-wife comes out and is mad at Raven also. Take a DDT girl. Down she goes also.
Dreamer, ever the genius, comes out with Sandman’s son Tyler who was brainwashed by Raven at one point. Here’s a beatdown for Dreamer as well. Sandman comes out with his son on his shoulders and it’s some big emotional moment or whatever. Sandman fights both guys off and pins Raven just because. Now there’s your triple threat and Dreamer is left out in the cold. Yep that’s how they set up their first PPV people.
Rating: F+. Dude, seriously? Another big brawl, an injury angle to an old man, an ex-wife and son being brought out and a guy that hasn’t been seen the entire night is now #1 contender. Stevie is in the same spot now for getting chokeslammed and I guess beating Balls Mahoney earlier. And people wonder why non-ECW fans complain aboutnot being able to understand this company. I had no idea why they were in that match until I saw this show. Not like that’s important information to say at Barely Legal or anything right?
Raven would jump to WCW after losing his final match to Tommy Dreamer. Here’s his first match at Clash of the Champions XXXV.
Stevie Richards vs. Raven
Raven can best be described as a loner who would eventually lead a cult called the Flock. Richards is his goofy lackey who doesn’t know what to do here. Raven isn’t under contract to WCW so he demands that it’s a No DQ match. That’s fine with Richards so Raven runs him over and sends Stevie into the corner and outside.
Raven follows him out with a plancha but gets caught in a backslide for two. They head outside again with Raven dropping an elbow from the apron. We get our first weapon with a chair brought in. Raven hooks a drop toehold to send Richards face first into the chair but Stevie whips him into the chair in the corner. A running headbutt and side slam get two on Raven but he counters a superkick into a cover for two. Raven’s Even Flow DDT is enough for the pin.
Rating: C-. Not much of a match but it was a good way for Raven to debut. The No DQ rule would be the norm for Raven for his entire WCW run and he would have success as a result. Things wouldn’t take off for him until the Flock though. Richards would be gone from WCW by the end of the year.
Raven would enter a great feud with Chris Benoit, setting up this match at Souled Out 1998.
Raven vs. Chris Benoit
This is one of the best built matches WCW has had in a long time with Benoit having to face every member of the Flock before finally getting his hands on Raven. Raven has sent all of his lackeys to attack Benoit time after time and tonight Benoit FINALLY gets his hands on their leader. The Flock comes out to back Raven but are ejected by an executive order. Raven rants about being shunned all his life and being fine with it here. The match is also Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes.
Raven starts with a baseball slide before Benoit is even in the ring. Benoit is sent into the barricade and then the steps before heading inside for a backslide on Raven for two. Benoit is sent right back to the floor so Raven can blast him in the back with a chair. Back in and Benoit is snapmared and bulldogged down onto the chair for two. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold onto the chair (Dusty: “YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT!”) but can’t immediately follow up.
Chris hits the snap suplex onto the chair for two of his own before ripping Raven’s shirt off. Raven bails to the floor and gets caught by a baseball slide before being sent into the steps. That’s a nice callback to what Raven did to open the match. Bird Boy stumbles up the aisle with Benoit chopping him down along the way. There’s another snap suplex on the ramp to put Raven in big trouble. Back in and Benoit stomps the chair into Raven’s head before hitting the Swan Dive onto the chair but both guys are out.
Benoit finally covers for two but can’t even stand up to keep the pressure on Raven. A northern lights suplex is countered into Raven’s DDT but Raven is too weakened to cover. It’s Benoit covering Raven for two before putting on the Crossface. Raven doesn’t try to escape and instead smiles at the pain. He laughs himself into unconsciousness in a creepy moment to end the match.
Rating: A. If there’s a better Raven match out there I’d love to see it. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was brutal throughout. This is the kind of emotional response you can get to a well built feud. The place went NUTS for Benoit’s win, which makes you wonder why he was wasted for so long in WCW.
And another great match from Uncensored 1998.
US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven vs. Chris Benoit
This is No DQ and falls count anywhere. Page is defending after invading the Benoit vs. Raven feud. It’s a triple lockup to start and now everyone stands around. Another triple lockup brings everyone out to the floor. Page is sent into the steps and the challengers fight in the ring with Benoit getting two off an elbow. Benoit stomps him down in the corner but Page comes back in to break it up. Raven and Benoit head back to the floor so DDP can hit a big dive to take them both out.
Back in again with Chris taking over and hitting a top rope splash for two on Raven. Page and Benoit slug it out to the floor but Raven dives over the top to take them both out for two on each. Page sends Benoit into the barricade but Raven charges into both of them again. Raven is whipped into the barricade and it’s Page vs. Benoit for a bit. Raven goes up by the set and comes back with a garbage can but Benoit puts it over Raven’s head so the other guys can beat on it with crutches. Benoit takes over with a crutch shot to Page’s back as they’re up by the entrance.
A trashcan to Page’s bad ribs has him in trouble and a suplex on the ramp has the ribs in even more trouble. Benoit and Raven team up for a few seconds to send Page through an Uncensored sign. Chris pulls out a kitchen sink of all things to hit Raven in the head but Raven throws a table at his head. Raven comes back with a velvet rope to choke Benoit but Chris whips Raven through the table. Page is still down as the other guys head back to the ring.
Benoit chokes Raven with the velvet rope but Raven hits him low to change momentum again. Now it’s chair time but it’s Raven taking the drop toehold into the metal. Page is slowly crawling back to the ring as Benoit whips Raven into a chair in the corner to send him to the floor. Back in and Benoit puts on a sleeper but Page comes in to put one on Benoit at the same time.
Raven hits a jawbreaker to put everyone down. Why Benoit’s leg being on Page isn’t a cover I’m not sure. Chris gets up and rolls the Germans on Raven but Page gets up to German suplex both guys at the same time. The challengers both knock Page down and Lodi hands in a stop sign to crack Page in the head. Now it’s a table as Benoit stands around. Raven puts Page on the table but Benoit cracks Raven in the head with the sign. Benoit takes Raven to the top for a superplex through Page through the table but Page knocks Benoit to the floor and Diamond Cuts Raven “though” the table to retain.
Rating: A-. This was a wild brawl before the wild brawl became the norm in wrestling. Benoit and Raven did most of the work here as Page laid up by the sign but that’s to be expected. The match was fun though and was exactly what it was supposed to be: a big ECW style battle (with a bunch of ECW spots) on a mainstream stage.
Now we’ll take out Benoit and see how things go. From Spring Stampede 1998.
US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven
Page is defending, Raven has the belt itself, this is under Raven’s Rules and the winner gets Goldberg tomorrow. Sick Boy tries to interfere at the beginning but gets a belt to the face for his efforts. Page shoves Raven into the corner and pounds away to start before hitting a belly to back suplex. A big dive to the floor takes out Raven and Sick Boy but Raven knocks Page off the apron, reinjuring the ribs. Back in and Page counters the Even Flow into a swinging neckbreaker for two.
Raven bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter and the fight heads up to the set. Page throws Raven off a stagecoach into some bails of hay before diving off said coach to take Raven down. Raven is thrown into a corral and beaten down by a trashcan. Now Raven goes through another wooden fence and suplexed onto the website table. Page is kicked into a wall and Raven blasts him in the head with a piece of metal.
They head to some VIP area with Raven diving onto Page to send him through a table. Raven pulls a bullrope off a horse and chokes Page down before grabbing a trashcan. The can freaks Tony out, despite it being used about two minutes ago. Raven wraps the rope around Page’s neck and drags him back to the ring where Sick Boy has a kitchen sink. The sink is only good for two for Raven and it’s back to the rope choking. Page fights up and drop toeholds Raven onto the sink as Tony and Heenan make plumbing jokes.
Kidman tries to interfere but splashes Raven by mistake, giving Page two. Sick Boy blasts Page with a crutch to give Raven two so Raven calls in the rest of the Flock. Hammer accidentally clotheslines Raven down so Page knocks him out with a sink. A low blow puts Page down and here’s Reese for a chokebomb, giving Raven another two count. Lodi throws in the stop sign but Page knocks it into Raven’s face and takes out a few Flock members. Kidman gets a Diamond Cutter but Horace Hogan debuts by hitting Page with the stop sign, allowing Raven to DDT Page on the sink for the pin and the title.
Rating: C. I’m not a fan of this garbage brawling style but this could have been worse. It’s good that Raven finally won the title that he’s been chasing for months and it makes sense as the numbers and style finally caught up to Page. I wasn’t liking the way most of the brawling was treated as comedy spots when the feud has been serious though. It was a reversal of what had made the feud good up to this point and hurt the match a good deal. Still though, not bad and a decent way to wrap the feud up.
From the next night on Nitro.
US Title: Goldberg vs. Raven
Raven is defending and this is under his rules. He lays the belt out in front of Goldberg and they talk trash, only to have Raven dropkick him down. We head to the floor with Raven being whipped into the barricade to give Goldberg control. Back inside and Goldie puts on a leg lock before superkicking Raven right back to the floor.
Raven grabs a chair and smashes Goldberg in the back to slow him down. There’s the drop toehold onto the chair followed by a reverse chinlock on Goldberg. The big man powers up and no sells a bunch of right hands. There’s the spear but Goldberg has to destroy the Flock. Raven tries to leave but the fans throw him back to ringside. Another spear and a Jackhammer onto a stop sign (brought in by Horace) make Goldberg US Champion.
Rating: C+. Total destruction here by Goldberg which is a good idea, but I don’t know why it had to be at Raven’s expense just one day after he won the title. The guy did some great work with Page and Benoit earlier in the year but now he gets to keep the US Title for a single day? Still though, good, hard hitting match here.
Raven would get back into the title hunt at Halloween Havoc 1998.
TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho
This could be good. Side note: I’m watching this on the WWE Network (praise be its name) and Break the Walls Down is swapped in for Jericho’s WCW theme. My head snapped up when I heard that instead of his regular song. Raven complains about his losing streak and asks What About Me.
He went to bed at 11am this morning and then arrived at the arena to find out he’s in an unscheduled match. Well he doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight so he gets up and leaves. Jericho doesn’t want to wrestle either but all of the Jericholics are here to see him because Jericho equals buyrates and rock and roll. He was really looking forward to facing an icon like the leader of the Flock, but there wouldn’t be much of a challenge because Raven is a LOSER. That’s enough to get Raven inside for the opening bell, nearly thirteen minutes into the show.
Jericho jumps him coming in and whips Raven with his leather jacket, setting up the arrogant cover for two. Raven gets his hands on Jericho and they fall over the top and out to the floor. Jericho gets suplexed ribs first onto the steps and comes up holding his knee. A dropkick off the steps puts the champion down again. Jericho: “HELP ME!” Back in and Jericho hits a quick Stun Gun before the springboard dropkick sends Raven into the barricade.
Chris follows him out with a dive but Raven steps aside and Jericho goes head first into the barricade as well. It’s Raven’s turn now as Jericho whips him into the steel again before they head back inside. Raven bites Jericho’s face before throwing on a quickly broken sleeper. Jericho hits a backsplash and takes the turnbuckle pad off but Raven blocks the whip into the corner. A standing hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb by Raven before he catapults Jericho face first into the buckle for two.
Jericho is oddly unharmed by being sent face first into steel but Raven catches him in a belly to belly for two. Back up and Jericho sweeps the legs to put on the Liontamer. Raven is quickly in the ropes and hits the Even Flow out of nowhere for two. A low blow lets Chris hit a German suplex for another close two as Kanyon runs out and gets on the apron. Jericho immediately knocks him off and reverses another Even Flow attempt into the Liontamer for the quick submission.
Rating: B+. Why does no one bring this up as a great match for either guy? They meshed the hardcore and wrestling stuff together here and got a great match as a result. Jericho was wrestling like a face here for the most part and it worked just as well as his awesome heel run. The announcers played up how Raven has been submitting so quickly after passing out from the Crossface with a smile earlier in the year. Nice touch of continuity to go with a great match.
We’ll wrap it up with one of Raven’s last matches in WCW at Slamboree 1999.
Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko
Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.
Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.
This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.
Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.
Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.
Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.
Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.
Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.
Raven was bored in WCW and was the only man to walk out when Bischoff said that anyone who wanted out could leave. He would return to ECW and win the Tag Team Titles with Tommy Dreamer. Here’s a defense at Anarchy Rulz 1999.
Tat Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Raven vs. Rhino/Steve Corino
It’s a singles match to start as Corino stays on the ramp and Raven is nowhere to be seen. Thankfully Dreamer was just in a baseball jersey and had his gear on underneath. The powerful Rhino hammers away to start but gets caught in the corner for a neckbreaker. The impact hurts Dreamer’s back but he’s still able to chase Corino off. Jack Victory is still in a wheelchair so Dreamer shoves him into a chair shot from Francine. Dreamer gets two on Rhino off a slingshot cross body but Rhino comes back with a spinebuster for two.
Victory is now standing at ringside as Corino throws in a ladder. Dreamer’s DDT is countered, sending Tommy spine first onto a chair. Rhino powerslams Francine but here’s Raven (after he trips over the ropes) with a DDT to Rhino. Corino and Victory come in as well to hammer on the Tag Team Champions but stereo DDTs give Raven and Dreamer pins.
Rating: D. This was the usual match that made no sense if you were trying to pay attention but the fans loved it. Raven and Dreamer were yet another oddball team that had success in spite of their hatred, much in the vein of Candido and Storm a few years back. This was much more of a match than an angle, but that’s something you have to expect from ECW.
Raven left ECW in the middle of 2000 and would up in the WWF. He would start doing hardcore stuff because….well what else was he supposed to do. From Raw on January 29, 2001.
Hardcore Title: Crash vs. Raven
Raven has the cracked gold here. Crash has Molly though so I think he wins this one. Raven has his shopping cart of weapons and rams a charging Crash with it to send him off the ramp. We have shrubbery and a tricycle in there if you’re interested. We go into the crowd almost immediately as Crash hammers away with a trashcan. Crash dives out of the stands with a double axe to take Raven down for two.
They fight into the concession area and Raven finds a mop complete with mop bucket. Bulldog doesn’t work and Raven goes into a wall. Crash tries to crush him with a cart of some kind but misses a tope into said wall. We go out into the street and Crash hits a bulldog onto a park bench. Crash crotches him on a tree. Let that sink in for a minute. That gets two as Raven’s Ninja pops up to make the save and give Raven the win to retain.
Rating: C+. Energetic hardcore match here but at the same time it’s exactly what you would get in any of these matches. The Ninja thing never went anywhere at all but they had an interesting idea I guess. The idea was long since over by this point though but it would be over a year before they ended it.
Another title defense from Wrestlemania X7.
Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane
Raven is defending and brings out a shopping cart of goodies with him. Before Show is here, Raven tries to jump Kane for no apparent reason. My guess would be drug related mental issues but that’s just speculation. Show makes the LONG walk down the aisle, only to have Raven tossed over the top rope and down onto him. Raven is easily caught so Kane dives off the top and takes them both out, getting two on Kane.
We head into the crowd with Show never getting into the ring and the brawl is on. Bird Boy’s philosophy seems to be let the monsters brawl and sneak in some shots where he can. A street sign to Kane’s head staggers him, only for Kane to throw Raven nearly through a wall. Show chases Raven away and tries to lock themselves into a kind of storage area. Kane will have none of that and breaks the door down to keep beating up Big Show.
Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.
Kane steals one of his own and brings the referee along on the chase. According to Raven, there was supposed to be a chase scene around the arena but it never happened. Also they almost hit some cables that would have cut the power to the entire stadium, which would have been awesome and awful at the same time. They fight to the catering area and the Snapple is destroyed, much to Heyman’s chagrin.
Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.
Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.
And now for what is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever, from Backlash 2001.
Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno
Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.
Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.
Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.
Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.
2002 was mostly spent winning and losing the Hardcore Title (26 reigns overall) before it was off to TNA. Raven would chase the NWA World Title, including this match at Weekly PPV #42 on April 30, 2003.
NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven
From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.
Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.
Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.
Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.
Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.
Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.
Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.
He would take a break from the title chase to help out an ECW buddy at Weekly PPV #81 on February 18, 2004.
Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk
From February 18, 2004. Punk and Dinero are still the Gathering even though they’re not under Raven’s control anymore. Apparently this is Raven’s big return from an unknown amount of time gone. Dinero blasts Funk in the back with a chair before the bell as things starts in a brawl. Raven puts on a right side up Tarantula on Punk before Dinero comes in to save his heel partner. It’s SO strange to see Punk with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and yellow shorts.
Everyone heads outside where Funk is busted open. Punk takes Terry back inside to talk a lot of trash but Terry comes back with a Stunner of all things to send CM to the floor. Dinero comes in but gets decked as well. There’s the spinning toe hold and a small package for two on Julio as Punk makes the save. Dinero’s top rope backsplash hits Terry’s eternally damaged knees and Funk crawls over to the corner….but gets punched by CM Punk because the blood has blinded him.
The tag brings in Raven a few seconds later and Bird Boy cleans house. We get the rag (don’t ask) on Punk’s face and a bulldog/clothesline combo takes the Gathering down. Another Funk Stunner puts Dinero down and we get the TUMBLEWEED (abdominal stretch into a rolling rollup) for two. Raven comes back in and hits a quick DDT for the pin on Dinero.
Rating: D. This was about having Funk in there and that’s about it. The Stunners were out of nowhere but almost ignored by the announcers. I’ll give Terry this much: he isn’t just out there throwing punches and nothing more. It’s also strange to see Punk as a glorified indy guy instead of one of the biggest stars in the world.
Raven would be in the first Monster’s Ball match at Victory Road 2004.
Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven
This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.
We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.
Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.
Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.
Raven would appear at an ECW reunion show called Hardcore Homecoming in June 2005.
Sandman vs. Raven
Does this need an explanation? Raven has Meanie and the Musketeer with him for no apparent reason. Raven REALLY needs to go back to the t-shirt and the jeans. Raven makes fun of Sandman’s entrance not being that cool. We’re less than 48 hours from One Night Stand and one of the most awesome entrances of all time, so that’s just very amusing.
Raven is apparently the only wrestler ever to have an action figure in WWE, WCW, ECW and TNA. That’s…kind of cool I guess. It would be hilarious to see Raven just sitting around coming up with random as all goodness thoughts like that. I’ve never heard Raven talk this much and I like it. He picks on Hat Guy also, which has to be the highlight of his career.
Sandman has to beat Musketeer, who is dressed like a guy from 19th century France, to get to Raven. They have a sword vs. cane fight. They did this before I think and it was stupid then too. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey let’s get the match going. Raven hits like 6 shots to Sandman’s head with the cane before the ball shot puts him down.
We get a Johnny Polo chant. Geez has there ever been a guy that changed so much from one gimmick to another? And now we have Sandman in the Musketeer’s hat. Did that gimmick come to Paulie in a dream or something? There’s a ladder on the floor for no apparent reason. The fans that are standing up to see this get a nice SIT THE F DOWN chant. Sandman comes back and we’re in the ring with the ladder now.
We go back to the 80s with a handful of powder though as we get the DDT for two. That’s one issue I have here: 8 years ago this would have been over for about an hour but here it gets two. The other thing is it’s more or less impossible to have a guy actually be a heel which is ok but it can get a bit annoying though.
Sandman gets the White Russian Leg Sweep and then the Rolling Rock. Meanie comes in and completely misses the moonsault again. Not that Sandman moves, but Meanie just completely misses. They do another and he misses it again. The THIRD one finally hits it. And yep, it’s a complete mess now. Donny Allen, who apparently was the ECW jobber, comes out to beat up Sandman but Mikey runs him off. After offering a beer to Sandman, he turns on him for no apparent reason with the Whippersnapper for the pin.
Rating: D+. It was a wild brawl and that’s all it was supposed to be. Raven outsmarts Sandman again as Joey says and all is right with the world. What more can you really ask for? Both guys get pops though, which is never really that interesting but whatever. It was a fun match so that’s fine.
Back to the NWA World Title chase at Slammiversary 2005.
NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Sean Waltman
The idea here is you have to hang the belt above the ring, sort of like a reverse ladder match. However before you can do that, you have to qualify by getting a fall on someone else. Whoever is pinned/submits goes to the penalty box for two minutes. Waltman dives off the box onto Raven while Styles dives off a ladder onto Brown. Brown shrugs him off and goes inside where he Pounces Raven and pins him to qualify. Raven has to go to the box.
AJ hits a huge dive to take out Waltman and Abyss so it’s Brown/Waltman in the ring. AJ sets for the springboard forearm but Abyss breaks it up. A spinwheel kick puts Abyss down but Brown breaks up the Bronco Buster. Raven is let out ten seconds early for some reason. Alpha Bomb pins Waltman which doesn’t change anything for Brown but Waltman goes to the box. Raven has a table set up at ringside.
AJ dives off the cage to take out Abyss. The camera work is lacking a bit here as we keep missing stuff. Brown hits the Pounce on AJ but Raven pulls him to the floor for the pin to become eligible. Abyss loads up Shock Treatment on Brown but Raven beats them both up with a trashcan. Styles and Waltman are forming an alliance in the box. Waltman is now out and he grabs another trashcan to take Brown down with.
The clock ends for AJ as Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam to pin Brown. AJ and Waltman aren’t eligible yet. As I say that AJ hits the Clash on Raven but Abyss makes the save. Pele puts Abyss down and Waltman cracks the masked man with a chair. No one has used a ladder yet. Waltman puts Abyss on the table and AJ hits Spiral Tap, which is good for a pin for AJ.
Brown is released and here’s the first ladder. Raven throws Brown into the barricade and AJ is going up the ladder. He drops the title, but Waltman hands it to him. Naturally that’s a swerve and Waltman hits the X Factor off the ladder, good for a pin. There’s a table in the corner now too. Raven staples Waltman’s head and Abyss is free. Abyss and Raven both get staples between their legs but Waltman gets taken down as well.
Waltman gets up first and chokes Abyss. Does anyone know where the belt is? Waltman sets up a ladder as Styles is released. They both go up and fight on top of the ladder but Abyss shoves it over. A Pounce puts Abyss through the table but Raven DDTs Brown. He goes up the ladder and Abyss can’t stop him, giving Raven the win and the title.
Rating: B-. This was a fun match but as always with these matches, they’re wild brawls that no one can keep up with. Well ok maybe that’s a stretch but they’re still chaotic. It’s probably a little too complicated but this is TNA’s signature mess and that’s ok for the most part. Raven winning should have won the title a year or so earlier but still, this worked well and he would have a good reign.
The reign wouldn’t last long and Raven would move into a long feud with Larry Zbyszko. Here’s one of Larry’s enforcers at Sacrifice 2006.
Raven vs. A-1
Larry sits in a chair in the ring before the match starts. Larry gets in his face so A-1 hits Raven with said chair to get an early advantage. A-1 rams him into the corner a bunch of times as Larry sits in on commentary. They head to the floor and A-1 rams him into the post a few times to stay on the back. Raven’s back goes into the barricade as the beating on that thing continues.
Back into the ring and A-1 fires off shoulders in the corner. A corner splash/forearm puts Raven down again as we’re still waiting on Bird Boy’s first offense. A-1 kicks him down but Raven FINALLY gets in some right hands in the corner. A clothesline out of the corner buts A-1 down and he fires off some kicks. An Edge-O-Matic puts Raven down but Larry’s distraction lets A-1 get in a cheap shot. A charge misses and the Raven Effect gets the pin.
Rating: D. This was a really dull match, but that could be said about almost any match in this Raven vs. Larry feud. It just kept going on and on with nothing ever really being accomplished. We got matches like Raven vs. Kanyon out of it which didn’t make anyone interested in the match or anything like that, but who cares about stuff like that?
Raven would help Abyss in his war with Rellik (which is Killer spelled backwards) and Black Reign (which is stupid). From Turning Point 2007.
Abyss/??? vs. Black Reign/Rellik
Oh so apparently the partner was known and it’s Raven. This is the Match of Ten Thousand Tacks. There are tacks everywhere and there’s a bag of them above the ring on a pole. Wave to Russo everyone! Tenay continues to treat the fans like idiots by reminding them that Rellik is Killer spelled backwards, thereby taking away the monster aspect and making him sound like a 13 year old trying to be clever on AIM.
Everyone but Raven heads to the floor so Raven jumps over the top to take everyone out at once. Abyss and Reign go up into the crowd as Raven uses his Russian legsweep to send Rellik into the barricade twice. Back at ringside, Abyss sets up a table with tacks on top of it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to talk about in this match as it’s the same match Abyss did every week in this period.
Abyss gets his hand on whatever weapon Reign usually uses which has a sharp blade on it. That busts Reign open and everyone is back inside now. Abyss is busted via something. It was a chair shot. Good enough. Rellik slides in a bed of tacks and drives a handful of them into Raven’s mouth. Things slow way down as they’re filling in time for the finish now. Rellik goes for the bag of tacks above the ring but gets powerbombed off by Raven.
Raven Effect gets two on Reign. Now Bird Man is bleeding from the mouth. Oh man Abyss is COVERED in blood. We’re just waiting on the big spot to end this. Reign hits everyone with a kendo stick but as he’s choking Raven he gets flipped off the corner and into a table covered in tacks. Raven misses an elbow through a table to Rellik who gets the bag of tacks off the pole. Abyss goes for a chokeslam to Rellik but gets something spit into his eyes. There’s a Black Hole Slam into them instead and we’re done.
Rating: C+. It’s a big brawl with lots of blood which is what most of the rating is for. The problem with Abyss is he always had to top what he did before, which became a problem as he had too much stuff to do. Not a bad hardcore match but the tacks spot had been done so many times before that it’s hard to get fired up for them again.
Raven would be gone for most of 2008 before returning as his hardcore stuff. Here’s a match from Slammiversary 2009.
Raven/Daffney vs. Abyss/Taylor Wilde
I’m still not sure if Taylor is hot or not. Ok she looks good here so we’ll go with yes. The genders pair off of course but Taylor is launched into both of them before Daffney is splashed by Abyss. Taylor hits an FU on Daffney but Stevie trips her up to shift the momentum. Daffney is thrown over the top down onto the guys and Taylor hits a dive onto them also.
The guys go into the crowd and Daffney follows. Here come the weapons as one goes upside the head of Daffney. They fight up towards the stage and Raven chokes him with a guardrail. The girls have kind of been forgotten about at this point. There’s a table with a red cloth over it. Oh there they are and Daffney is down. Not that we get to see it or anything but at least they’re not dead.
Oddly enough Daffney goes through the aforementioned table off a splash by Taylor off a speaker. Into the ring now go the men and Abyss has a bag of something. Raven gets a chair shot in to bust Abyss open (film at 11). Drop toehold puts Abyss into the chair again and the cut opens up even more. Here are some kendo stick shots but Taylor pops up with a garbage can lid to Raven to break it up.
Raven gets some trashcan shots in but they’re no sold by Abyss and here comes the monster, cracking him with the stick. Now we’re talking about West’s fantasy team for some reason. Chokeslam takes out Raven but Stevie has the referee to prevent the cover from being counted. Raven’s weapon shots are rather weak. Taylor is launched onto Raven but Stevie interferes again. There are the tacks but Daffney winds up going into them in a pretty awesome spot. Stevie breaks it up AGAIN but walks into Abyss. Even Flow (Raven Effect) gets two and there’s the Black Hole Slam to the tacks to end this.
Rating: B-. Eh pretty much just a hardcore match but at the same time that’s all it needed to be here I think. Abyss’ willingness to more or less have his body destroyed can help him a lot and that’s what he did here. The girls didn’t do much here at all but at least Taylor looked good in blue so it’s not like they were a problem. Props to Daffney for the tacks bump too so overall, not bad here.
Another year, another ECW reunion. From Hardcore Justice 2010.
Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer
For no apparent reason, Foley is the referee. Beaulah is here and is still hot. The fans chant Uncle Scotty to complete this joke. They do the drop toehold spot and Dreamer gets beaten up in front of his kids. Dreamer might be the first guy to bleed tonight. It’s your usual stuff here with the beatdown that isn’t that great but the history makes it watchable. Raven is busted.
The signs are brought in as is the ladder. They do some decent stuff with that for two for Raven. Dreamer Driver gets no cover. We finally get to the barbed wire which is wrapped around Raven’s face. He taps but the BWO runs in to make sure it doesn’t count. This needs a Sandman run-in. Down goes Foley for no apparent reason. Raven Effect gets two. Or is it the Even Flow? Whatever.
Foley and Socko, which they can’t say, takes down Raven and that guy from earlier that we couldn’t recognize in the Blue Meanie skit runs down with a top rope leg drop for Dreamer. Allegedly his name is Lupus? Mandible Claw with wire to Raven of course doesn’t put him down and he cuffs Dreamer.
Beaulah comes in to stop the Rock/Foley ending in the Last Man Standing match which doesn’t work. Dreamer manages to DDT Raven while cuffed behind his back for two. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair and a DDT on it ends this. Yes, Dreamer jobbed to Raven in the final encounter. I am about to give up.
Rating: D. This started out as an ok brawl but just got insane. To be fair it was a pretty brutal match but the ending is just stupid. The problem is that this feud was perfectly finished in ECW and there was no need for this. Dreamer winning was the right way to go here so of course they didn’t do that. Not a horrible match, but it’s just showing how bad this idea was overall as this feud is one that didn’t need to continue.
We’ll wrap it up with an indy show for the Insane Clown Posse at Bloodymania V.
Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody
The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.
Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.
Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.
Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.
Raven is a guy who was almost all psychology but his in ring work could back him up most of the time. The problem though was once he left ECW, almost everything felt like an attempt to recreate the most successful character in his career. That’s nothing new in wrestling, but it rarely works. Still though, he’s incredibly entertaining when he’s on his game and that was very often.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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This
The pre-show match saw RVD beat Cesaro. The match was fine, but why in the world do you put Van Dam over if he’s going to be leaving soon anyway? Wouldn’t you want to have someone go over Van Dam to get every bit of value out of him before he leaves? Either way, the match was fine and Cesaro got to show off his freakish strength all over again.
Hogan hyped the Network to open the show. Nothing wrong with that as this was about getting people watching on regular PPV to switch over.
Ziggler took the IC Title from Miz. I’m fine with this as Ziggler’s pops are hard to ignore. No he doesn’t belong in the main event scene (especially with Lesnar on top now) but giving him the Intercontinental Title is fine. The fact that I was right about Ziggler starting to lose as soon as he got the title makes me shake my head though.
Brie did her serious promo about Stephanie. For the most part it was nothing, but this did throw in the line of Stephanie paying off the physical therapist. In theory that writes off the character and story, which seems to be the right idea as it went over horribly.
Paige beat AJ Lee with the Rampaige DDT to get the Divas Title back. I really liked this, as the whole division is such a joke other than these two. This was a physical, back and forth match with both chicks beating the tar out of each other until Paige pinned her with a really cool finisher. I could see these two fighting for years and I’d be fine with that. With the rumor of Charlotte being called up, there’s actually a glimmer of hope for the division.
Rusev beat Jack Swagger in a pretty good power match. They did a good job of false finishes with the possiblity of Rusev tapping, but at the end of the day putting Rusev over is the right call. They didn’t have Swagger tap out to save face in a smart move. Good stuff here, especially Lana’s legs. Colter got kicked in the head, likely writing him off TV, at least for now.
Ambrose and Rollins had a really good lumberjack brawl with everyone beating each other up as lumberjacks are supposed to do. They did the right thing here of letting them go crazy which is what Ambrose vs. Rollins should have been the entire time. The problem here though was Kane. Whenever he comes out he just drags things to a halt with his corporate nonsense. There comes a point where you need to drop some of the storyline stuff and just let there be carnage. People are waiting for these two to tear each other’s heads off but then you have Corporate Kane coming out to keep things settled. Drop it already, or at least get someone fresh in the role. I love Kane, but we’ve covered this. A lot.
Bray Wyatt went over Chris Jericho in the match that should have happened at Battleground. Both guys got in some solid shots and Bray hit Sister Abigail into the barricade and another in the ring for the pin. Bray looked dominant but it was far from a squash. The fact that Bray is still as over as he is gives me hope for him. I’m really not sure where they’re going with him but he needs to win another feud before moving up the ladder again.
Now we get to the second most talked about match on the card with Brie vs. Stephanie. There are two ways to think about this match. First of all, Stephanie (who can still rock the heck out of a tight leather outfit) is pretty clearly as good of a Diva as almost any ever. She worked a solid pace, her moved looked good, she worked the crowd, and didn’t look bad at any point of the match. Name one Diva who regularly does that. Like ever. The Divas division has been a joke for years but she was absolutely awesome here.
That being said, this brings us to the booking. Aside from people just not caring about the story (seriously WWE, no one cares. They just don’t) and Brie being so bad she needs a telescope to look up and see horrible, this story called for Brie to get her revenge over Stephanie. She’s been humiliated and beaten up, and then at the end of the day we see her get pinned when her sister turns on her.
Speaking of Nikki, this is another story where people just do not care. Why am I supposed to be interested in seeing the Bellas fight? The only thing I can think of is WWE wants to bring in the crossover audience from Total Divas, but it’s not worth getting on the nerves of your core audience. This story closed two Raws heading up to Summerslam (and opened the show after it) and the fans’ reactions have been nothing but bad. I agree that Stephanie has been awesome in this story, but she needed to do the job at the end. Have Nikki ruin Brie’s moment or something, but let Brie have the moment to give the fans something to smile at.
Video on some guy that won a contest and called himself Mama’s Boy. Next.
Roman Reigns beat Randy Orton in probably the biggest win of his career. This was what it needed to be booking wise, but I really didn’t like the match for the most part. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t make me drool over Reigns. The key thing here though was Orton hit the RKO and Reigns kicked out at two, hit both his finishers and got a clean pin.
There might be a rematch with Orton and then it’s HHH’s turn to do the job before Reigns wins the Rumble and fights Lesnar (in theory) for the title at Wrestlemania. It’s a simple story but if they do it right, Reigns can look great. He’s the kind of guy where the in ring stuff doesn’t need to blow you away. He needs to be a guy people get behind and buy as unstoppable, which is what seems to be happening.
This brings me to the main event, which is the most talked about match since Brock broke the Streak. This match was a squash with Brock basically no selling the AA and STF. Brock destroyed Cena for about fifteen minutes and then hit an F5 for the pin and the title. This is a risky move, but they left in enough backdoors to give someone else a chance to take Brock down. I mentioned this earlier but I might as well do it again.
The key thing here was Cena’s strategy. He charged right at Brock to start and got destroyed as a result. Look at the Punk vs. Lesnar match from last year’s show. Punk survived the opening onslaught and then used whatever shots he could to stay alive. Brock finally made a mistake and Punk was able to make a match of it. Cena on the other hand played right into Brock’s hands and lost at Brock’s own game. If you build off that, there’s a very interesting story to be told. It worked with Vader and Sting, it can work with Brock and anyone else.
Overall Summerslam was about as awesome as it could have been with nothing being bad and the absolutely right call at the end of the show. It wasn’t as good as last year’s show but that’s not a fair comparison. Everything worked and I had a great time watching it. It sets up a lot of stuff for the future and that’s something WWE really needs to do right now. Great show.
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Something
Why does no one bring props to the ring anymore? It doesn’t have to be anything special, but something simple can enhance an appearance. Look at something like Cena’s response to Rock a few years ago with the pinwheel. It was something so stupid but it helped the visual. Hold something, set something up, anything. Just add some spice to it.
Monday
Date: August 18, 2014
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
Last night, evil won. Brock Lesnar is the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion and squashed John Cena in the process. That’s the only word to descirbe it. Lesnar massacred Cena with John getting in as much offense as the Brooklyn Brawler would have. The questions now are where in the world do we go from here and who could possibly stop Brock Lesnar? Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the entire show last night.
Here’s Stephanie to Daniel Bryan’s music coming down the aisle, because there’s nothing else to open the show right? There are new microphone cubes with the new logo. She talks about how important last night was before promising a new title belt for Brock Lesnar tonight. The Authority wishes Cena a speedy recovery, but there are other people who have injuries to heal from. There’s also Chris Jericho and Dean Ambrose, but the biggest loser of them all is Brie Bella.
However, she can’t take all of the credit because she has to thank HHH. Stephanie thanks him for what he did last night but also has to thank Brie’s sister Nikki. This brings out Nikki who hugs Stephanie, basically erasing all of the beatings that Stephanie has caused. Nikki talks about the Bellas coming to the WWE and saying it was them against the world. However, it’s always been about Brie, even back to when they were kids.
She’s sick of hearing Brie tell her she’s never going to have a husband (storyline from Total Divas), even though she didn’t have to marry Daniel Bryan. Nikki feels free now that she’s standing on her own two feet, but here’s Brie with a rebuttal. Brie talks about sisterly love and how Nikki has destroyed their family. Nikki says Brie destroyed it and slaps her, sending Brie crying to the back.
Back from a break and we look at the slap again.
Wyatt Family vs. Big Show/Mark Henry
Henry hammers on Rowan to start but runs into an elbow. It’s quickly off to Harper who gets yelled at and headbutted into the corner. More headbutts stagger Harper and it’s off to Big Show for the loud chop. Some shots the ribs have Harper in even more trouble and his shots have almost no effect. Big Show cleans house and sends Harper outside as we take a break.
Back with Luke snapping Big Show’s throat across the top rope to take over. Rowan tries to help but gets caught trying a low bridge. The distraction works though as Harper kicks Big Show out to the floor. Off to Rowan who kicks Big Show in the face on the floor as the evil monsters take over. Back in and Harper wins a minor slugout before Rowan throws Big Show into a superkick for two.
Harper actually Gator Rolls Big Show before putting on a chinlock. Rowan comes back in and clotheslines Big Show before slamming him with ease. I mean he turned Show upside down and had time to move his arm around Big Show’s head. Big Show pops up (to be fair it was just a slam) and catches Rowan with a DDT. The hot tag brings in Mark Henry and everything breaks down. Luke breaks up the World’s Strongest Slam with a big boot to Rowan’s back but Big Show comes in and KO Punches both guys. A World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan is enough for the pin at 11:46.
Rating: C+. Good match here with both teams working hard and showing off some very good power stuff. That slam from Rowan made my eyes go big though as he doesn’t get to show off that much. I’m not wild on the Wyatts doing another job like this but it’s something you have to expect from time to time.
Ric Flair congratulates Ziggler for winning the Intercontinental Title. Miz comes in and says he’s going to take the title back tonight.
We recap the lumberjack match before going to Rollins in the back. Rollins talks about how he knew he could beat Ambrose and that’s exactly what he did. He says he’s the future WWE World Heavyweight Champion as well as the future of the entire WWE. Ambrose comes up behind him with a bucket of ice water. Ambrose: “IT’S FOR CHARITY!” My goodness it’s a modern reference in WWE. A brawl breaks out and is quickly broken up.
After a break Rollins rants to the Authority and is given a rematch against Ambrose tonight. The WWE Universe will get to pick the stipulations.
Paige vs. Natalya
Non-title and Natalya is now in shorts. Paige talks about how much she respects and loves AJ, even dedicating the match to her. Feeling out process to start and they quickly trade backslides. Paige escapes hers though and kicks Natalya in the back of the head to take over. She crawls on top of Natalya for the pop of the night before headbutting her without seeming to make much contact. Cue AJ skipping down to the ring, allowing Natalya to get a rollup win at 1:46.
AJ says that despite everything, she still respects and loves Paige. She offers to come in and shake Paige’s hand, sending Paige running to the floor.
The options for Ambrose vs. Rollins are:
No Holds Barred
Falls Count Anywhere
No DQ
HHH and Stephanie, now in a very low cut black dress after being in a t-shirt and jeans earlier, are out to unveil the new title. It’s the same design that Rock introduced a few years back but with the new logo and a bit shinier. The side plates are Brock’s skull tattoo. He brings out Brock Lesnar for the presentation and shakes his hand before posing for a photo op. A loud LESNAR chant starts up as HHH raises Brock’s arm.
Heyman slowly does his intro and says Cena isn’t here this evening. That basically gets a standing ovation. Heyman says Cena can’t be here because he can’t physically appear, thanks to Brock Lesnar. Brock is sitting on a stool with the biggest grin on his face, knowing no one can touch him.
Paul goes on a rant about how important Brock’s accomplishments last night were. Rock was on top for three years. Steve Austin (POP) was on top for three years. John Cena has been on top for TEN YEARS and was tough enough to stick around longer than thirty seconds last night. Heyman saw a look on Cena’s face last night and that was when he got it.
Cena’s speeches get on Heyman’s nerves but he kept coming back for more and more because he never gives up. Cena earned Heyman’s respect to the point where he would love to make John a Paul Heyman Guy. If the history of WWE was written right before Brock pinned him last night, Heyman would be the hardest fighting champion in WWE history.
However, Brock doesn’t agree with these views. In Lesnar’s universe, street cred doesn’t matter. In Brock’s universe, he who dies with the most street cred still dies. The Undertaker’s career and Streak died at Lesnar’s hands and the concept of hustle, loyalty and respect and the Cenation died at Lesnar’s hands.
The same thing is happening to anyone who comes to take the WWE Title from Brock Lesnar. Heyman sums up the match last night: Suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat, suplex, repeat. Lesnar lives by the motto of Eat, Sleep, Conquer Repeat, but now it’s Eat, Sleep, Conquer John Cena. Another awesome promo here from Lesnar and they were right to not have anyone come out here.
Here’s Nikki slapping Brie again.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Dolph is defending after beating Miz for the title last night. This actually gets big match intros. A hiptoss puts Miz down for two and Dolph puts on a headlock. Miz goes after the knee and stomps away in the corner. He wraps the leg around the post and Ziggler is in trouble as we take a break.
Back with Ziggler getting two off a sunset flip and hitting the running DDT for the same. Miz comes right back with a shot to the knee and puts on the Figure Four. Dolph dives to the ropes and rolls outside for a breather. Miz reaches out for Dolph but gets rammed into the apron. Dolph gets kicked away though and that’s a countout at 7:20.
Rating: D+. Last night I said that Dolph was going to start losing a lot more because he was the Intercontinental Champion, and apparently I was absolutely right. It wasn’t a pin, but man alive does this feud really need to continue? The match wasn’t the worst in the world but these two have fought enough already.
Post match Dolph lays him out with the Zig Zag.
Jack Swagger is disappointed in his loss last night and failed his country last night. However, We The People is about coming together when times get tough. He’s going to do what any Real American should do and get back up.
Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro
Swagger is here alone. Cesaro starts with a gutwrench suplex on the bad ribs and it’s quickly off to the abdominal stretch. He switches off to an armbar and Swagger comes back with a big boot and the Vader Bomb. Cesaro drapes the bad ribs over the ropes but his running big boot is caught in the Patriot Lock while Swagger is still on the apron. Back in and Cesaro pokes the eye, setting up the Neutralizer for the pin at 4:40.
Rating: D+. Well at least Cesaro won. I’m not sure where they’re going with this character with Swagger, but it’s nice to see him getting a push instead of just stagnating like he was. Cesaro getting the pin is another good thing to see, even if it’s in a pretty meaningless match. At least it was short.
Post match Cesaro laughs at Swagger until Bo Dallas comes out. He talks about the 318 million Americans that Jack let down. Swagger has lost everything, but he just has to Bo-Lieve to get it all back.
Chris Jericho says he’s never seen anyone like Bray Wyatt. The Spider Walk is one of the most disturbing things he’s ever seen. There’s nothing behind Bray’s eyes though and when he told Jericho that he was already dead, Jericho knew it was a lie. He has three things Bray will never have: a fire burning inside him, a fighting spirit and the best fans in WWE history.
Randy Orton/Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Rob Van Dam/Roman Reigns/Sheamus
Sheamus runs over Axel to start but Axel nails him in the ribs before bringing in Orton. Off to Van Dam who kicks Randy down and hits a quick Rolling Thunder to send Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the ten forearms to Axel’s chest before doing the same to Ryback. Orton low bridges Sheamus to the floor and the heels take over again. Sheamus is sent over the timekeeper’s table as the fans chant FEED MORE ME and RYBACK RULES for the hometown guy.
Randy makes a big deal out of tagging Ryback in and the Big Guy is ready for the task for once. Ryback drives shoulders into the ribs in the corner before putting Sheamus in a front facelock. There’s a delayed vertical suplex for two and it’s back to Orton. Sheamus backdrops out of the Elevated DDT and it’s hot tag to Reigns so house can be cleaned. The apron kick nails Axel and it’s Superman Punches for the tag team.
Orton breaks up the spear with a backbreaker but Reigns tags in Van Dam who cross bodies Axel for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same and everything brekas down. A Brogue Kick drops Ryback but an RKO puts Sheamus down. Reigns is sent into the post but RVD kicks Axel down and the Five Star gets the pin at 11:10.
Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m not sure why you would have Van Dam get the pin instead of Reigns. I get not having Reigns pin Orton again but he can’t get a win over someone like Curtis Axel? The match was fine and the ending was better than most of the rest of the match. It was fine and about the right length too.
We recap the ice bucket thing from earlier.
Orton is walking in the back when Ric Flair comes up. Randy threatens to beat him up and Flair stares at him.
Bray Wyatt says he was riding on a pale horse to come after Chris Jericho last night. He warned Jericho that this was coming and he certainly is a man of his word. Jericho claims that he looked in Bray’s eyes last night and saw nothing. Maybe Chris is right. Maybe Bray doesn’t have a soul and the only purpose he has on this earth is to collect. Jericho may never be able to comprehend what he is. Bray declares himself the new face of salvation. Follow the buzzards.
We see the slap for the fourth time.
Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust
Non-title. Goldust and Jey start things off with Jey grabbing a quick rollup for two. Jimmy comes in and dances a bit before starting on the arm. It’s off to Stardust who gets forearmed in the face in the corner as this is one sided so far. Jey cranks on a chinlock for a good while until Stardust escapes into a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere at 5:52.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work all that well and I really don’t like a second champion losing in a single night. I’m also not sure where we’re going with the Usos as they haven’t appeared in awhile but now we have the Dusts and Big Show/Mark Henry ready for a title match. Oh wait: triple threat it is I guess.
Lana and Rusev come out to brag but Mark Henry interrupts. Henry talks about representing the United States twice in the Olympic Games, and this is the only time he’s ever had a problem with anyone representing their flag. Last night what he saw got under his skin so he’s going to do something about it. Henry offers to give Rusev a guided tour of the Hall of Pain. The brawl is on with Henry laying Rusev out and Mark celebrating with everyone at ringside.
Preview of a documentary of the Shield coming to Summerslam.
We look back at Brock and Heyman from earlier.
Falls count anywhere wins the poll with 41% of the vote.
Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose
Falls count anywhere. Rollins wins an early slugout and they quickly fight into the crowd with Dean getting a two count. They go up by the stage and fight over various dangerous moves. Ambrose suplexes him down for two and takes it back to the ring. Dean throws in a bunch of chairs and slams both one of them and Rollins down at the same time. A middle rope elbow with the chair gets two but Rollins sends him face first into a chair in the corner for two.
Back with Rollins holding a Singapore cane around Dean’s face. He picks Ambrose up and knocks him into the ropes before ducking the Rebound Clothesline. An enziguri gets two on Dean and a tornado DDT gets the same on Seth. They slug it out from their knees and a catapult sends Rollins into the buckle. Dean hammers away with the Singapore Cane and uses it for a Russian legsweep for two. Ambrose throws in a pile of chairs and loads up a superplex, only to have Rollins counter into a running sitout powerbomb onto the chairs for TWO. Kane is at ringside and Rollins throws in a table.
Seth loads up a top rope Curb Stomp through the table but Dean pops up for a superplex to drive Rollins through instead. He has to go after Kane though and sends Rollins out to the floor. There’s the suicide dive to take both guys out and Kane is down. Back in and the Rebound Clothesline sets up Dirty Deeds but Kane interferes AGAIN.
Ambrose sends Kane into the steps and backdrops Seth into the crowd. Kane is sent over the announcers’ table, allowing Dean to get a running start to dive over the barricade at Rollins. Dean loads up the announcers’ table but Kane breaks up Dirty Deeds and chokeslams Dean onto the table instead. A Curb Stomp onto the table (still didn’t break) knocks Dean silly but Kane lists up another table to reveal a bunch of cinder blocks. Seth Curb Stomps Dean’s head THROUGH THE BLOCKS and Dean is done. The referee calls the match at 20:26.
Rating: A-. Now THAT was a brawl. It took awhile to get going but the stuff after the break was the war that it was supposed to be. This is the match that they should have had last night, though the injury angle keeps things going in a few months. That ending spot was insane though and will likely write Dean off TV long enough to make a movie that no one is going to see because WWE is about entertainment and not wrestling.
Overall Rating: B-. I liked the show but as usual, it needed to be an hour (and two slap replays) shorter. Brock not having a challenger yet is fine as Cena will return next week to probably set up their rematch. The rest of the show set up a few new things while also bringing up some rematches for Night of Champions. It’s a good show though and a nice followup to last night’s really good pay per view. The wrestling wasn’t great but the stories were, and that’s what people have been concerned about lately.
Results
Mark Henry/Big Show b. Wyatt Family – World’s Strongest Slam to Rowan
Natalya b. Paige – Rollup
The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler via countout
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – Neutralizer
Sheamus/Rob Van Dam/Roman Reigns b. Curtis Axel/Ryback/Roman Reigns – Five Star Frog Splash to Axel
Goldust/Stardust b. Usos – Sunset flip to Jey
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose via referee’s stoppage
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There’s no chance this isn’t good: Vince McMahon.
We’ll
WWF World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin
This should have headlined Mania 15. Vince slaps Austin while the Stooges and Slaughter are there for backup. Vince grabs the mic and mentions the one arm tied behind your back line that Austin said earlier. He insists it’s the right arm, the Stunner arm. After a ton of stalling, heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dude!
Dude Love comes out and says he doesn’t feel much love here tonight. He says he has to protect Vince because Vince signs the checks. Vince shoves Dude after he talks nice about Foley so Dude loads up the Claw. Austin comes over out of boredom. Love is the new big bad from Vince and is the opponent at Unforgiven. Again, Foley is used to make the new megastar look good.
Since this is Vince, we’ll have a lot of jumping to do. From Raw on Febraury 13, 1999.
Steve Austin vs. The Corporation
It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.
Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.
Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?
The main event from In Your House XXVII, the only time this happened on PPV.
Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin
This had to headline a pay per view at some point. Austin gets in the cage first so Vince makes him wait a bit longer. Steve gets tired of waiting and chases Vince around the cage but the boss gets inside to hide. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Austin tries to climb up the cage but Vince punches from his high ground. Steve slips off the side of the cage and seems to have twisted his knee. Like an idiot, Vince comes out to check on it and gets clotheslined by a healthy Austin.
McMahon is sent into the side of the cage and choked with a cord. They fight into the crowd with Austin in complete control. Austin hits him in the head with the bell, making it ring the hard way. The match still hasn’t actually started yet. Back to ringside with Vince being sent into the steps and running into the crowd to try to get away. The beating continues until Austin knocks Vince back to ringside. Vince tries to climb into the cage where there’s less to cause him pain.
Austin won’t let that happen though and rams Vince face first into the cage over and over. Vince tries to climb again but this time Austin follows him up and slams Vince’s head into the top of the cage, sending him flying off the cage and onto the Spanish announce table. McMahon’s head bounces off a monitor, knocking him out cold for a bit in a scary landing. Everything stops as Vince is taken away by medics and Austin chills in the cage.
The Fink is about to announce Austin as the winner but Austin isn’t cool with that. He guaranteed to take Vince apart tonight, and since the bell never rang that’s not good enough for him. Austin asks the doctor if Vince is still breathing, because if he is the fight isn’t done yet. Vince is pulled off the stretcher and hit in the back with a backboard before finally being thrown into the cage for the opening bell.
Austin hits a quick clothesline and a middle rope elbow before going to leave, but Vince makes the eternal mistake of flipping Austin off. Steve climbs back inside and stomps a mudhole in the corner. Somehow Vince fights out with a low blow to get himself a breather before climbing up the cage. Austin pulls Vince down off the cage and leaves him in a heap. The boss is busted open and Lawler is losing his mind.
Steve can’t help but smile and climb the cage but Vince looks up at him and flips him off AGAIN, bringing Austin back to the ring. Austin stomps on him even more, leaving Vince crumpled down in the corner. There’s the Stunner but as Austin talks trash, a monster called Paul Wight breaks through the ring and throws Austin into the cage before helping Vince to his feet. Wight throws Austin against the cage but the wall breaks, allowing Austin to drop down for the win.
Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade because it was again a story rather than a match. The ending was very smart though as Wight got to debut but also look strong with Austin winning due to Wight’s strength. Austin got to give Vince the beating he needed to and win a the same time, but Vince gets to continue the feud with his new monster. In case you didn’t recognize the name, Wight would soon be called The Big Show Paul Wight.
Vince and Shane would join forces to fight Austin at King of the Ring 1999.
Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin
Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.
That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.
Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.
The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.
Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever. Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.
After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.
They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.
See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.
They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.
Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.
Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says chick are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.
Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.
Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.
Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess. They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.
HHH would become the Big Bad of the WWF and Vince would get a WWF Title shot on Smackdown, September 16, 1999.
HHH vs. Vince McMahon
Say it with me: Shane is guest referee. Vince jumps HHH to start and the fight is on. McMahon is in a suit here and gets stomped down by the world champion himself. HHH easily punches Vince down and this is pure domination so far. Shane taunts his father but Vince comes back with a low blow. It’s not enough to stop HHH though and Vince gets stomped down even more.
With McMahon on the floor, the champion chokes away with a camera cord. Vince is beaten onto the announce table and Shane is begging with HHH to not beat on his father anymore. HHH drops an elbow off the barricade through Vince through the announce table. Back in and HHH grabs a chair, but Shane takes it away from him. That works for about two seconds as HHH shoves Shane down and hits Vince with the chair, busting him open.
Shane goes after HHH but Chyna makes it 2-1 and Shane is beaten down as well. A chair shot to his back keeps Shane down and here come Linda, Patterson and Brisco. The old men get beaten up and Chyna holds Linda while HHH punches Vince even more. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Austin comes in through the crowd to beat up the Game (HHH’s nickname). HHH and Chyna both get Stunners and Austin puts Vince on top of HHH for the pin and the title, blowing the roof off the crowd.
Rating: D. This was barely a match but it was entertaining enough. Having Vince as champion obviously wasn’t going to last but to call it a fun moment is an understatement. That being said, it really wasn’t all that smart of a moment as HHH had only won the title about three weeks earlier. That doesn’t exactly make a questionable champion look all that strong.
And another match at Armageddon 1999.
HHH vs. Vince McMahon
There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet goodness that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.
You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as all goodness.
We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.
They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see anything. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.
Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FREAKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s very impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.
In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Freaking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.
We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.
Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy chant comes out of course. Finally we get some blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a Night of the Living Dead zombie.
WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.
Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the freaking McMahons. Dang she looks great here.
Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.
King of the Ring 2000 would see a six man tag for the WWF Title.
WWF Title: HHH/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Rock/Kane/Undertaker
Yeah those sides are fair. Like mentioned earlier, if HHH or either McMahon is pinned, HHH loses the title to whoever gets the pin. If HHH’s team wins, HHH fights Angle. There’s no explanation of how this came about but HHH was feuding with Rock and Taker showed up to get at Vince and Shane was with Vince and Kane was just there for the sake of being there. All of the faces get their own entrances. Shane is a pussy apparently.
The pussy starts with Kane. And that’s more or less the high point. This match goes on nearly TWENTY MINUTES and I stopped caring after about two. It’s just filling in the time the whole way rather than anything actually of note going on. The faces keep fighting amongst themselves while the heels keep getting in a few shots here and there. One major problem here is that they never actually explain why Take hates Vince.
Now if you followed wrestling well enough around this time, it’s not that hard to figure out, but dang man, give us something at least. The match just goes on and on and it’s boring as any and all goodness. We get that the faces don’t get along. You don’t need to remind us a dozen times per minute. Everyone beats on everyone as we’re in the orgy mode here. Nothing of note happens as it’s all just one big mess as everyone beats on everyone with no particular rhyme or reason.
FINALLY we get to the point as most everyone goes outside and given the amount of time left we know that someone is going to get a pinfalll soon and end this. Since Vince is alone in the ring, I’m willing to bet that it’s him. And yep, there’s a Rock Bottom and a new champion to celebrate. And yep that’s all there is.
Rating: D-. Oy thank goodness this is over. No one cared about the thing but since we had seen Rock vs. HHH a half dozen times they needed to shift things, and since there’s some law against Kane getting a title shot on PPV, this is what we got instead. It was a weird idea and seriously, did anyone thing there wouldn’t be a new champion? I’m just glad this is over.
Vince would hook up with Trish Stratus because….well look at her. Here’s one of the resulting matches from Raw on February 26, 2001.
Vince McMahon/Trish Stratus vs. William Regal/Stephanie McMahon
Vince brings out that bucket of sewage. Apparently Stephanie shoved Trish into manure on Smackdown. Trish kisses Vince to start and the girls go at it first. All Trish to start as I guess Stephanie and Regal are the faces here. Steph gets a suplex for two. They had the best match you could ever imagine they would have the previous night. DDT gets two for Stephanie.
They botch….something as Stephanie goes down. It looked like a clothesline I think but I’m not sure. Vince comes in and Steph has no idea of it. Regal backs off to huge boos. Vince gets a mic and Regal brings in the bucket. He says that what Vince wants, Vince gets. He tells Trish to get in here and tells the referee that this match is over.
Stephanie and Vince are apparently all cool and Regal takes Trish down with a neckbreaker. With Vince’s direction, Stephanie covers her with the mop in the sewage and shoves her face in the bucket. Vince says that there’s one Daddy’s Little Girl and Trish was just a toy, a toy Vince is tired of playing with. Trish would be back with Vince like next week. This was barely a match so no rating.
Another Vince vs. Shane match from Wrestlemania X7.
Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon
This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.
Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.
A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.
Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.
The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.
Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.
We’ll jump ahead to Royal Rumble 2002 for another street fight.
Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon
Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.
There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.
Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.
Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.
Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?
Hey look: a street fight. From Wrestlemania XIX.
Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon
This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?
Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.
They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.
Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?
Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.
We’ll stay in 2003 with this match from Vengeance.
Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen
For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying as all goodness but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.
Vince beats the tar out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.
This just isn’t as impressive as it could be, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.
Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive as all goodness, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.
And another from No Mercy 2003.
Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon
I Quit match and Stephanie can win by pin as well. It’s also no holds barred and no one can interfere on her behalf. Linda is here too to make sure this match is acted even worse. Sable is with Vince. Vince jumps Stephanie to start. He’s evil you know. Stephanie jumps on his back and screams a lot. She kicks him into the corner so he runs her over. Vince throws her around and Cole is up to about 20 “THAT’S HIS DAUGHTER” lines a minute.
Sable slaps Stephanie so Linda chases her around. Vince hooks a half crab and Stephanie screams a lot. Off to a bow and arrow and Stephanie can’t even sell her face properly. Sable slides in a pipe but Linda stops her. Vince grabs Linda so she slaps him and Steph hits Vince low with the pipe for two. She pulls the pipe back and hits him in the ribs and the back and in the face but Vince doesn’t go down. A shot from the middle rope to the top of the head gets two.
This match has been going on about four minutes and I already hate it. Sable gets in a fight with Stephanie so Stephanie rams Vince into her and bulldogs him for two. She gets the pipe again but Vince grabs her by the throat and shoves her down. Now Vince has the pipe and hits her in the ribs. He chokes her with the pipe and Linda shouts to quit because it’s not worth it. Linda throws in the towel because Stephanie can’t give up. You know, to protect her reputation and all that.
Rating: F. This got more of a build than the world title match, the US Title match and the Angle vs. Cena match. You figure out why this was a failure.
And one more from this year at Survivor Series 2003.
Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon
Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.
Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.
The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.
Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.
Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.
I have to do this one. From Raw on February 23, 2004.
Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon
Austin is guest referee. They stare each other down to start and Bischoff offers a handshake, only to get kneed in the ribs. Bischoff comes back with some strikes but Austin breaks it up. Vince makes the mistake of going after Austin and gets decked for old times’ sake. Bischoff gets chased around the ring and choked on the floor as JR drops the bowling shoe line. Brock Lesnar sneaks into the ring and lays out Austin as the match is thrown out. No rating and much more of an historical curiosity than anything else.
We’ll jump ahead to Wrestlemania XXII.
Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels
Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.
Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.
McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.
Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.
There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.
Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.
And the rematch at Backlash 2006.
Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon
Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.
Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.
Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.
Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.
Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.
Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.
The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.
Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.
And another rematch from Summerslam 2006.
D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon
Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.
Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.
Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.
Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.
HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.
Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.
Time for another feud, this time with fallout from Wrestlemania XXIII. From Backlash 2007.
ECW Title: Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley is champion and whoever gets the fall is champion. Shane starts us out and is promptly destroyed. Lashley throws him around and suplexes him down before throwing him to the floor. Bobby wants Vince but Shane staggers back in instead. Off to Umaga who is sent into the corner but Lashley charges into a boot to the face. Well foot tape to the face but you get the idea.
Bobby sends him into the corner again and hits some clotheslines including a big one to send him over the top rope and out to the floor. Down goes Shane so there’s only Vince left on the apron. Instead Shane gets back in and takes a delayed vertical suplex. Umaga tries a headbutt but it hits the Boy Wonder by mistake. Shane finally does something effective by pulling the top rope down to send Bobby out to the floor.
Umaga sends Lashley into the steps as we continue the filler until Vince comes in. Lashley is in trouble but Vince still doesn’t want the tag. Shane puts on a Fujiwara Armbar followed by a hammerlock with knees. Off to a cross armbreaker/triangle choke hybrid which Lashley can’t quite power out of. Scratch that as he hits a kind of powerbomb for two. Back to the Samoan for a headbutt followed by a bearhug.
Bobby escapes for a second but gets caught in a Samoan Drop to put him down again. Shane hooks a camel clutch for longer than should be humanly possible to survive. Lashley gets out of that too with pure power and hits a Torture Rack backbreaker (Shock Treatment ala Abyss) to Shane. Umaga gets speared and it’s a Dominator to Shane but Vince finally comes in for the save. In the confusion Shane gets a belt shot in for two from Vince. Vince is ticked off now and brings in Umaga for a top rope splash. That gets two for Vince as well so Umaga does the exact same thing again to give Vince the title.
Rating: C. This was fine I guess but it would start a huge ordeal with ECW fans saying that Vince was killing the legacy of ECW. You know, because it was SO healthy after guys like Big Show was champion and we got a single ECW Rules match a week if we were lucky and guys like Matt Striker and Elijah Burke and Mike Knox and Test were featured on the show every week. Lashley would get the title back in a month or so before the title fell into the midcard level it would stay at until it was axed.
A match that I still defend, from Wrestlemania XXVI.
Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon
Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.
Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.
Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.
Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.
We’ll wrap it up with Vince’s last match to date which shocked everyone. Raw, October 8, 2012 and it’s not really a match but it’s close enough.
Vince McMahon vs. CM Punk
Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.
Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.
Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT.
Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock. Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.
He’s one of the best villains of all time and will still do whatever he needs to do on camera. His matches weren’t any good but it was all about the build instead of the matches anyway. To be fair, the matches weren’t the worst in the world and considering that it’s the boss out there, all can be forgiven. He’s hard not to like at least a bit despite being totally evil.
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Summerslam 2014
Date: August 17, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the second biggest show of the year and much like last year, the main event seems to pretty much set in stone. Brock Lesnar is challenging John Cena for the World Title and I can’t see any real reason for Cena to keep the title. There’s always the chance of Rollins cashing in but it doesn’t seem like something that happens. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro
Rob takes him into the corner to start but gets thrown into the corner himself with pure power. Cesaro charges into a boot though and they head outside with Van Dam hitting a quick Rolling Thunder. Back in and Cesaro just throws Van Dam down as we take a break. We come back with Van Dam caught in a chinlock. A knee drop to Rob’s back gets two but Rob comes back with some clotheslines.
Rob gets two off the split legged moonsault before kicking Cesaro to the floor for an apron moonsault. Back in and the Five Star is broken up by a running uppercut but Rob breaks up a superplex. Another uppercut breaks up another Five Star attempt but once again Rob shoves him off. They do the sequence a third time until Rob finally gets off a cross body, only to jump into another uppercut. The Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop but Cesaro lands on his feet and levels Van Dam with a big boot for two. Not that it matters though as Rob kicks him in the face, setting up the Five Star for the pin at 7:56.
Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it’s good to see Rob get a win to reestablish his credibility. I guess they can rebuild Cesaro at some point in the future, though I feel like I’ve been saying that for months now. How in the world did he win a big match at Wrestlemania and fall all the way down here?
The show opens with Hulk Hogan coming out to hype up the WWE Network once again, talking about all the shows you can get for just $9.99. Nothing wrong with Hogan opening a show.
The opening video is played like a movie trailer (from Authority Pictures and Follow the Buzzard Films), playing up everyone’s nickname in a nice idea.
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
Miz is defending and talks about all the movies coming out on his way to the ring. He isn’t a talking turtle or robot, but even Drax the Destroyer would be intimidated by him. Tonight he’s going to turn Dolph Ziggler from a star to the WWE’s version of the Lakers. Feeling out process to start with Ziggler easily taking over on the champion, only to miss a charge in the corner.
A kick to the head gets two for the champion and we hit the chinlock. The fans tell Miz that he can’t wrestle so he nails a big boot to quiet them down a bit. There’s the running clothesline in the corner but Dolph blocks a top rope ax handle. A facebuster gets two for Ziggler but Miz avoids the Fameasser and tries to send Dolph outside. Ziggler skins the cat and fakes Miz out on a superkick into a small package for two. The Figure Four is easily countered and a superkick nails Miz in the face for another near fall.
Miz heads outside but gets sent into the barricade, only to slap on the Figure Four back inside. The hold stays on for a good while but Dolph finally makes it to the ropes. Ziggler gets back up and hits the Fameasser out of nowhere but it hurts the knee again, allowing Miz to hit a quick Skull Crushing Finale for two. Miz is stunned, allowing Dolph to hit a Zig Zag out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 8:00.
Rating: C. It wasn’t much of a match but I like the ending coming out of nowhere like that. You could see that the title was going to change as soon as Miz’s finishers didn’t work, but it was still a nice finish. Ziggler getting the title is a good thing as he’s needed a boost for a long time now. Granted he’ll probably lose while holding it over and over, though it’s still better than nothing.
We recap Brie vs. Stephanie/Megan on Raw.
Brie talks about being incarcerated on Monday and thinking about all the times Stephanie has insulted Bryan over the years or tortured Nikki week after week. She says Megan is lying and Brie isn’t going to let this chance slip through her fingers. Tonight she’s going to let the beast out.
Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Paige
Paige is challenging and these two have traded the title since the night after Wrestlemania. Paige recently turned heel and injured AJ so tonight is her chance for revenge. AJ won’t shake Paige’s hand to start but bites the fingers instead. She pulls at Paige’s hair, sending the British chick out to the floor. Back in and a ticked off Paige chokes on the ropes but AJ kicks her in the face.
Both girls head outside with Paige dropping her face first onto the barricade. Paige takes her back inside and drops I believe a piece of her own hair on AJ’s face. We hit the chinlock on the champion before AJ sends her out to the floor. A BIG top rope clothesline drops Paige again before a bad looking Shining Wizard gets two back inside. Paige kicks her in the face but AJ counters the Paige Turner into the Black Widow. Again Paige counters into Rampaige (fisherman’s DDT) for the clean pin and the title at 5:00.
Rating: B-. This is the physical match that the Divas have been looking for and it was worth the wait. These girls beat the tar out of each other and almost nothing missed the entire time. That Rampaige is a great looking finisher and gives Paige a third finishing move if she keeps the Paige Turner around. Good stuff as this solid rivalry continues.
Sting WWE2K15 video.
Rusev vs. Jack Swagger
This is a Flag Match, meaning a regular match with the winner’s flag being displayed after the match. Lana talks about how unrealistic Hollywood is, because there will be no happy ending. Swagger comes out with a military escort and a presentation of the American flag. Rusev jumps Swagger before the bell so Swagger puts on the Patriot Lock. They’re finally separated but Lana says Rusev is too injured to wrestle. The referee says ring the bell and Swagger goes after him in the corner.
Rusev is sent outside but Swagger takes him back inside and hammers away. The Russian keeps running so Swagger runs him over with a clothesline on the floor. All Swagger so far. Back inside and the Vader Bomb is countered with a kick to Jack’s bad ribs. Rusev fires off some shoulders in the corner and puts on a bearhug. Jack can’t belly to belly suplex him and Rusev cannonballs down onto his back again.
Swagger fights back with a running clothesline and a big boot followed by the Vader Bomb for two. The superkick is countered into the Patriot Lock but Rusev quickly rolls out. A hard kick to the ribs has Rusev in trouble and a kick to the face sets up the Accolade. Rusev can’t stand on the bad ankle though so it’s a one legged Accolade instead. Jack rolls over into the Patriot Lock but Rusev rolls over and kicks at the ribs. A spinwheel kick to the shoulder drops Jack again and there’s a Warrior Splash, setting up the Accolade and Swagger is out at 8:53.
Rating: C+. Good match here with both guys bringing their harder games. Swagger looks good by not tapping out and the right guy wins. This should end the feud between the two though and hopefully sends Rusev after Sheamus and the US Title. Does anything else really make sense at this point?
Rusev nails Colter like a true villain would post match. The Russian national anthem is played and the flag is raised.
We recap Rollins vs. Ambrose. They were members of the Shield but Rollins turned on Ambrose and joined HHH. They were scheduled to fight last month, only to have a fight breaking out in the back beforehand. Therefore, Ambrose wanted a lumberjack match.
Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose
It’s a brawl to start with Dean getting the better of it. He stomps Rollins down in the corner and sends Seth outside. The lumberjacks do their job but Dean punches a few of them when he’s thrown outside. Back in and Ambrose is sent face first into the middle buckle and now the lumberjacks give him a beating. Rollins drops a knee for two but runs into a boot in the corner. Seth is able to tie him into the Tree of Woe before sending him to the apron.
Dean suplexes Rollins onto the lumberjacks, including sending Seth face first onto the announcers’ table. The lumberjacks have to break up the brawl on the floor until Dean backdrops Seth over the barricade and into the crowd. Dean dives onto a bunch of lumberjacks and then runs the announcers’ table to get at Seth, even taking out some more lumberjacks at the same time.
They brawl into the crowd as Kane comes out to yell at the lumberjacks for not doing their job. Dean tries to suplex Rollins over a barricade but they’re finally dragged back to the ring by the lumberjacks. Rollins beats up Sin Cara for no apparent reason and tries to leave, but an army is waiting for him at the entrance. They literally carry him back to the ring with Dean diving off the top to take everyone out in a big pile.
Dirty Deeds is countered into an enziguri, but it knocks Dean into the ropes for the Rebound Clothesline. Dean Curb Stomps Rollins (you read that right) but Kane comes in to break up the pin. Goldust of all people gets in Kane’s face and it breaks down into a huge brawl. The referee hasn’t called for the bell so the match is still going. Everyone is cleared out and Rollins hits Dean with the briefcase for the pin at 10:54.
Rating: B. It was awesome while it lasted but I could have gone for another seven or eight minutes. They kept this going very well and the lumberjacks were an interesting idea. There’s no way this is over and there’s a good chance this sets up a rematch for the briefcase, probably at Night of Champions.
We recap Wyatt vs. Jericho. Chris returned a few months back but was targeted by the Wyatts for reasons not entirely clear. Jericho won last month at Battleground but the feud isn’t over, setting up this rematch tonight.
Chris Jericho vs. Bray Wyatt
The Family is barred from ringside. Jericho takes over with elbows and chops to start, followed by a springboard forearm to put Bray on the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two for the Canadian but Bray sends him out to the floor. Bray drives in knees to the ribs before taking Jericho inside again for some solid shots to the head. Jericho is sent shoulder first into the posts and throat first into the ropes for good measure.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jericho scores with an enziguri. Bray runs him over with ease though and hits the backsplash for two. A dropkick takes Bray down again but he comes back with heavy right hands. Jericho, sporting a nasty bruise on his thigh, takes Bray down into the Walls but Bray is right next to the ropes. Wyatt rolls to the apron and is able to DDT Jericho onto the apron for two.
Now it’s Bray going up top but Jericho counters with a hurricanrana for two. Jericho dropskicks him down again but Bray spiders up. He shouts that he’s already dead but there’s the Codebreaker for two. Bray avoids a baseball slide and sends Jericho into the barricade with Sister Abigail. Back in and Sister Abigail is good for the pin at 12:18.
Rating: C. Another pretty good match here with the right ending for a change. Bray getting the pin without the Family interfering is a good sign for him and hopefully the start of something new. It wasn’t a great match or anything but it’s very refreshing to see Bray get a pin on pay per view for a change.
Bray says Jericho learned what it means to follow the buzzards. Singing ensues.
We recap Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon. This is a complicated story but it boils down to Stephanie being mad at Brie for embarrassing her when she was trying to get Daniel Bryan to forfeit the title. Brie quit instead and ruined Stephanie’s plans. Then Brie got her job back by threatening to sue Stephanie for slapping her and set up this match. Stephanie brought up something about Bryan cheating on Brie and the whole thing is WAY more complicated than it needs to be.
Brie Bella vs. Stephanie McMahon
Stephanie is almost in a black superhero outfit. They slowly shove each other to start until Stephanie stomps away in the corner. Brie comes back with a YES Lock attempt to send Stephanie running outside, but she blocks Brie’s suicide dive with a forearm. Back in and a Hennig necksnap gets two on Brie as the announcers talk about how awesome Stephanie is. She stomps on Brie’s head and cranks on the arms as Brie looks mildly annoyed.
Brie finally kicks her in the face so Stephanie turns on the EVIL FACE, only to get caught by a Thesz Press. Some kicks in the ribs have Stephanie in trouble and a hair drag does the same. A middle rope missile dropkick gets two on McMahon and there are some HORRIBLE looking right hands.
Cue HHH for a distraction but Brie counters Stephanie’s Pedigree attempt into the YES Lock, but HHH pulls the referee to the floor. Brie kicks HHH down and starts a YES chant as Nikki is at ringside as well. Nikki comes in and stops Stephanie from leaving before turning on Brie as almost everyone expected her to. Nikki helps Stephanie up and a Pedigree gives her the pin at 11:05.
Rating: C+. Well you knew she wasn’t going to job. It’s on a bit of an adjusted scale but the match was shockingly good. That being said, it was NOWHERE near enough to justify the push its been receiving. All this to set up the Bellas fighting each other? They really think this is something people are going to be interested in? Dear goodness imagine the promos we’re going to have to sit through. The girls all looked good though.
JBL sums up the entire story: Nikki was fed up with having to deal with the problems Brie caused her. Unfortunately that doesn’t make a lot of sense as the people she joined were the ones beating her up the whole time, but that’s WWE for you.
Package on some guy that won a contest and got to go to the Performance Center and create a character: Mama’s Boy.
Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns
Orton is mad at Roman for costing him the chance to be #1 contender. Roman pops him in the jaw to start and follows up with a headbutt. Orton is sent to the floor and into the barricade but he reverses Reigns hard into the steps. Back in and Orton slams him head first onto the mat before stomping on Reigns’ hand. A big superplex gets two for Randy and we hit the chinlock.
Roman fights up into a chinlock of his own but Orton falls back to break it up. Reigns grabs it again and squeezes very hard, only to get caught in a side slam for two. Back up and Reigns nails a Samoan drop before winning a slugout. Some running clotheslines have Orton in trouble and there’s the apron kick. Reigns is reversed into the post and barricade for two though and the fight goes back outside.
Randy throws him over the announcers’ table but gets caught by a Stunner over the ropes. Orton fights out of a superplex attempt but Roman muscles him up into a top rope Samoan drop for two. There’s the Superman Punch but the spear is countered into a very fast powerslam for a near fall. The RKO is countered but Reigns dives into a second attempt, only to kick out at a VERY close two. I bought that as a finish for a second there. Orton misses the Punt and walks into the spear for the pin at 16:41.
Rating: C. The match was good but not really good if that makes sense. The fact that Reigns was the obvious winner didn’t help, but at least the match was good on the way to the ending. Reigns kicking out of the RKO is a big moment for him as his rise to the top of the company continues. This was by far his biggest win to date.
Summerslam is in New Jersey next year.
We recap Lesnar vs. Cena. There isn’t much to say about this one. Cena beat Lesnar at Extreme Rules 2012 but Brock came back by conquering the Streak. Tonight is Lesnar’s chance at the title.
WWE World Heavyweight Title: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar
Cena is defending and charges right at Lesnar, only to get taken to the mat and pounded. Lesnar fights up and hits an F5 for two in less than thirty seconds. Brock: “THAT WAS YOUR CHANCE JOHN!” A wicked release German suplex sends Cena flying as this is starting like the first Cena vs. Lesnar match. Another one sends Cena across the ring and John is coughing. Brock hammers on him even more and just stares at Cena.
John drives him into the corner and hammers away but a single knee to the ribs puts him back down. Lesnar cranks on a chinlock and slams him head first into the mat as this is totally one sided. He stands on Cena’s hand before throwing him around with more German suplexes. The referee is looking at Cena like he wants to stop it but Cena waves him off. Lesnar hits his fifth or so German as Cena is looking like a ragdoll. The referee keeps checking so Brock suplexes Cena again.
Brock loads up another but Cena fights out with elbows and some clotheslines, only to charge into the F5. Cena escapes and hits a quick AA for two. Brock is down though and Cena has a chance to get a breather. Cena can’t follow up so Lesnar does the Undertaker sit up and smiles at Cena. He even dances a bit and tells Cena to bring it on. Cena gets up and charges at him but gets pounded on the mat UFC style. The referee tells Brock to get off and Cena can barely move. Now it’s rolling Germans and Cena isn’t moving.
Lesnar lets him get back to his senses before rolling even more Germans. This is probably about fifteen total now. Charles Robinson won’t call it off as some idiot fans say this is boring. Brock yells at the referee but Cena trips the leg and puts on the STF. There’s no strength though and Brock just unloads on him. Another F5 gives Brock the Title at 16:07.
Rating: A-. This was a squash. Lesnar demolished Cena and that’s exactly how the announcers are playing it up. This is the killer that Lesnar is supposed to be and the match was total dominance. I have no idea who beats Lesnar but whoever it is will get the rub of a lifetime. Awesome match though not quite as great as the 2012 version.
Overall Rating: A. It never ceases to amaze me how WWE TV can be so horribly dull at times but their PPVs have been on fire this year. Off the top of my head there might have been one show this year that wasn’t somewhere between good and great. This one is on the high end though as nothing was bad and the main event was a sight to behold. Totally awesome show with everyone looking great and setting a really good standard for the coming months. Excellent show.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. The Miz – Zig Zag
Paige b. AJ Lee – Rampaige
Rusev b. Jack Swagger – Accolade
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Briefcase to the face
Bray Wyatt b. Chris Jericho – Sister Abigail
Stephanie McMahon b. Brie Bella – Pedigree
Roman Reigns b. Randy Orton – Spear
Brock Lesnar b. John Cena – F5
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