Here’s a guy that spent WAY too much time on the top of ECW: Justin Credible.

Credible got his start in 1992 and was quickly signed to WWF as a jobber. Here he is on Raw, March 1, 1993.

P.J. Walker vs. Lex Luger

Luger is still the Narcissist. A hard whip sends Walker into the buckle and we hear from Bobby Heenan on the phone, bragging about how awesome Luger is. The squashing continues as we get into a bizarre bit about commentator Rob Bartlett pretending to be Elvis as Heenan says that Bartlett is George Steinbrenner before Priscilla Pressley is serving Heenan drinks by his pool. Luger pins Walker with his pinkie after the loaded forearm. It was long enough to rate but I think Heenan’s call sums up the match just fine.

Another year, this time from November 14, 1994 on Raw. Credible is debuting his most infamous gimmick here: the Portuguese Man O War, Aldo Montoya. Why Portuguese? Why a Man O War? Why does he wear a jock strap for a mask? Answer: it’s 1994 so no one noticed.

Brooklyn Brawler vs. Aldo Montoya

The Brawler chops away to start but gets dropkicked to the floor, setting up a bad looking plancha from Aldo. Back in and Brawler gets two off a backbreaker but walks into an even worse looking hurricanrana. Montoya nails a top rope cross body for the pin out of nowhere.

We’ll skip 1995 and head to Raw, August 5, 1996.

Jerry Lawler vs. Aldo Montoya

This is a rematch from Superstars where Aldo beat Lawler in a match dedicated to Jake Roberts with a DDT. Lawler talks A LOT of trash about Jake Roberts before the match. He keeps talking after the bell and offers Montoya a chance to speak, only to kick him in the face to take over. Montoya fights back in the corner and nails a dropkick but Lawler runs from another DDT. Some LOUD right hands have Lawler in trouble but Aldo walks into a piledriver to stop him cold. Another piledriver is enough to give Jerry the pin.

One final WWF match, from Thursday Raw Thursday on February 13, 1997. Again, I have no idea why they called it that.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

We’ll head over to ECW now, with Credible becoming his most successful character: a jerk who doesn’t like tradition or authority. We’ll start at November to Remember 1997.

Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Credible is a guy that rose up the ECW ranks over the years despite not being the most interesting wrestler on the roster. He’s managed by an annoying guy named Jason. They slug it out to start until Mikey sends him to the floor for a big dive. A hurricanrana on the floor has Justin in trouble and a whip into the barricade doesn’t help things. Back in and Justin goes for the eyes to take over before a missile dropkick gets two.

Credible kicks him in the back of the head for two more and gets the same off a sunset bomb. We hit the chinlock into a sleeper but Whipwreck comes back with a superkick and powerbomb for a pair of near falls. Whipwreck has to deal with Jason via a low blow but Justin nails a reverse DDT. Justin goes up but Mikey whips Jason into the ropes to crotch him down, setting up a Whippersnapper (middle rope Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was better than the opener due to how much shorter it was than the first match. Mikey was kind of a feel good story and another character that embodied the idea of ECW by having success when no one thought he had a chance. We’ll see a lot more of Justin in the upcoming shows.

Off to Cyberslam 1998 for a rival that we’ll be seeing more of later.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

First blood here. Dreamer in a gimmick match that makes things more violent? Who would have seen that coming? Justin has been talking about Tommy’s family apparently. Oh and they’re having a regular match Sunday. Of course they are. One great thing about these old ECW shows: Beaulah. She is freaking gorgeous on all levels. Dreamer brings a trashcan lid with him because that’s how he rolls.

Out to the floor almost immediately as the fans make fun of Nicole Bass. She’s Justin’s bodyguard if that clears anything up. Dreamer hits a slingshot into a chair into the post. So what was the point of the chair if the post was already back there? Cactus Clothesline over the railing by Dreamer puts them both into the crowd. Time to walk around the arena like in every big ECW brawl.

We’re already on our third chant that implies Bass is a male. Jason, Justin’s uh…..friend I guess, interferes and a reverse DDT puts Dreamer down. The chair gets wedged between the top two ropes and Dreamer goes head first into it. Justin suplexes him onto the chair which doesn’t really hurt the head. Then again no one accused Justin of being all that intelligent.

A second suplex is countered and here comes Dreamer. Neckbreaker out of the corner still doesn’t work on the head at all. Beaulah and Jason have a quick argument in the ring which results in the referee taking a road sign shot to the head. Death Valley Driver puts Justin down as the fans chant Louie. DDT onto the chair but still no blood.

Time for the barbed wire and Tommy wraps it around himself. Seriously, does no one in ECW think these things through? A splash off the top hits Justin and Dreamer is in agony. And here’s RVD with a top rope kick to put a trashcan into the head of Dreamer. Barbed wire into his head plus a trashcan to the barbed wire wrapped around Dreamer’s head busts him open. A tombstone kills Beaulah and the referee wakes up in time to see Dreamer’s blood to end this.

Rating: D+. Just a weak match here that for the most part had no psychology at all. The run in made no sense but I guess it’s something that you need to watch the TV show to get. Also, what’s the point in having a gimmick match a week before a regular match? Either way, nothing of note here and just your usual brawl in ECW.

Back to another guy we’ve seen before at Wrestlepalooza 1998.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Justin Credible

Credible has his new girl Chastity and Jason with him. Mikey tries a Whippersnapper a few seconds in but has to settle for a spear. Justin is sent to the floor and nailed by some left hands to the face. A hard whip sends Justin into the crowd and a Russian legsweep puts him into the barricade. Mikey pulls the barricade closer to the ring but gets shoved off the apron and goes back first into the steel.

Back in and Justin rams Mikey into a chair before stomping him down in the corner. Jason holds the chair in front of Mikey in the corner so Justin can drive the steel into Mikey’s head with a running knee. A powerbomb onto the chair gets two and the fans chant Aldo, referencing a character that Justin played in the WWF. Mikey tries a Whippersnapper but gets countered into a reverse DDT for two.

They head outside again and Mikey suplexes him off the barricade and through a table. Mikey brings a second chair inside as Justin picks up the first. Whipwreck’s chair blasts Justin’s into his face before a catapulut into a chair in the corner gets two. The Whippersnapper puts Justin down but Mikey has to hit one on Jason as well. Chastity gets a super Whippersnapper from the middle rope but Justin hits That’s Incredible on the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but it’s becoming clear that Justin really doesn’t have anything interesting to offer. He’s not terrible but he’s such a generic heel that it’s really hard to care about him or get angry at him. Mikey was trying but he needs a better villain to work off. Also you would think there would have been more leg work in the match.

Here’s the finale of a Best of 21 series held over the summer of 1998 at Heat Wave 1998.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Credible’s entourage continues to grow as he now has Nicole Bass, Chastity and Jason with him. These two wrestled twenty one times over the summer so they’re certainly familiar with each other. This is billed as the final match in their series so whoever wins here wins the feud. The referees are back to the half red and half black shirts instead of the stripes.

Jerry grabs a quick armdrag to start and the fans are all over Justin. A second armdrag puts Credible down before Jerry lands some loud chops in the corner. Jerry nails a cross body for two and clotheslines Justin out to the floor for a big dive onto the concrete. We hit the headlock but Justin spins out of a slam into a reverse DDT to take over. Credible stomps away in the corner, setting up a running knee to drive a chair into Jerry’s face.

A powerbomb onto the chair gets two and they head outside again with Jerry being sent into the barricade. Back in and Justin poses after every move as he is known to do. Credible goes up top but dives into a flapjack to get us back to even. Justin grabs a swinging Boss Man Slam for two and we hit the chinlock. The camera looks to be laying on its side to film the hold.

Back up and Lynn gets two of his own off a sitout powerbomb and a hurricanrana. Jery goes up top but dives into a powerbomb to give Credible a near fall of his own. We get a chair brought in by Chastity, though it’s Jerry DDTing Justin onto the steel for two. Justin is sent to the apron and Jerry loads up a table at ringside. He puts Credible on the ropes for a top rope hurricanrana off the top and down through the table for the big spot of the match.

Back in again and Jerry has to fight off the entourage, including kicking Bass low and hitting her in the back with a chair. Chastity kicks Justin low by mistake so Jerry tombstones her, much to Joey’s delight. Lynn takes Justin up top for a hurricanrana, only to have Justin counter into That’s Incredible off the ropes for the pin and the win in the series.

Rating: B-. This was the best opener at an ECW pay per view since Hardcore Heaven. They kept the insanity under control here and let the guys wrestle until the big finish. It’s also nice to see someone sell a move or two and do some basic wrestling in between all the high spots. Good match here and the interference actually made sense for a change. Justin getting a pin off his own move rather than someone helping him directly made things better too.

Back to Dreamer at Guilty As Charged 1999.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

A tough fighting woman named Jasmyn (later to be known as Jazz and that’s how his name is spelled on her jacket) has replaced Chastity in Justin’s entourage. Dreamer drags out a ladder with him. There’s no Terry Funk in sight. They chop it out to start until Dreamer kicks Justin low and plants him with a spinebuster. A running clothesline puts them out on the floor but Dreamer is whipped into the barricade. Justin gets dropped throat first onto the barricade for his efforts and we get our first chair thrown in.

Back in and Dreamer gets caught in a reverse DDT onto the chair. Justin throws him onto the ramp and sets up the chair next to Dreamer. The drop toehold sends Tommy throat first into the chair before they head back inside, only to have Tommy ram him into the chair as well. The Dreamer Driver plants Justin and the ladder is brought into play. Dreamer avoids a double baseball slide and nails Justin and Jason with the ladder before bridging it between the ring and the barricade.

Justin gets dropped face first onto the ladder before it’s taken inside. A catapult sends Justin into the ladder in the corner but he’s able to slam the ladder into Dreamer’s arm. He crushes the arm between the ladder and smashes it with a chair as Bass yells trash from the floor. Tommy somehow sends him into the ladder for a breather before countering a superplex. Jason comes in and gets caught in a DDT attempt, only to have Jasmyn come in with a low blow and snap suplex.

Credible can’t capitalize as his baseball slide gets himself crotched against the post. A death valley driver puts Justin down again and Tommy knocks one end of the ladder into Justin’s face for good measure. The ladder is finally set up in the middle of the ring but Justin takes over again and puts Dreamer on top of it before dumping him over the top and through a ladder at ringside.

Dreamer makes a save and sends Justin face first into a chair conveniently laid across the top rope. The ladder is then laid across the middle rope in the corner but Justin drives him into it instead. He wraps the ladder around Tommy’s head and drives the top of it into the buckle for a painful looking spot. Dreamer is busted open as Justin brings the ladder back in. Credible climbs but Tommy pulls out another ladder which he stands next to Justin’s.

In a clearly cooperative spot, Dreamer gets Justin with one foot on each ladder before pulling him down with a cutter. Tommy climbs up and gets the cane before diving off a lower rung into a DDT on Credible. Justin gets tied to the ropes and it’s time for revenge. This brings out Funk with a garbage can to knock Dreamer senseless, setting up That’s Incredible (more like a slam) on the ladder to give Justin the pin.

Rating: D. Justin never even touched the cane in the entire match, pretty much making the whole thing complete pointless. This was WAY too long at nearly twenty minutes and continues to show that Justin is nothing all that special. He’s ok, but that’s his biggest problem: he’s so ok that there’s no justification for putting him in a spot this high on a pay per view card.

Justin would hook up with Lance Storm to form the Impact Players. They would main event Heat Wave 1999 against a dream team.

Impact Players vs. Rob Van Dam/Jerry Lynn

All four guys get individual entrances and only Dawn is with the Impact Players. Rob stops at ringside and smiles at a sign that says Get Well Soon Sonya. Sonya is Van Dam’s wife and was in a bad Jet Ski accident around this time. Rob blows a kiss at the camera in a sweet moment. Lynn has a broken nose, though Joey doesn’t bring it up until about twelve minutes into the match. Jerry gets started with Credible and the stalling is on in a hurry. Lynn chops away in the corner and they fight over a tombstone with neither guy getting it. Justin backdrops out of the cradle piledriver but gets taken down with a bulldog.

Lance takes a dropkick to send him to the floor and Jerry catapults Justin down onto his partner. Back in and Van Dam gets the tag, sending Justin running to the corner to bring in Storm. Rob takes him down to the mat in a nice amateur move before getting two off a small package. They get up and flip over each other a few times before Rob monkey flips Lance down. More flips lead to Storm’s half crab but Van Dam rolls out and kicks Storm in the face.

Jerry comes back in and chops everyone in sight before putting Storm in an abdominal stretch. The hold is broken in less than five seconds so Jerry snaps Storm’s throat over the top rope. Credible hits a knee from the apron before nailing Jerry in the head with the Singapore cane. Now Justin is willing to come back in and stomps away in the corner before putting a chair over Lynn’s face for a dropkick.

A sitout powerbomb out of the corner gets two for Justin before it’s back to Lance for a good looking dropkick. They trade rollups for two each until Storm kicks Jerry’s head off for two. Back to Justn for an Outsider’s Edge before he brings Lance back in after only a few moments of ring time. Storm tries to bring in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it back into his face. Credible breaks up a hot tag attempt but gets DDTed down onto the chair.

Rob comes in off the tag and hammers away on Storm including the top rope kick to the face. Alfonso sends in a chair which Van Dam dropkicks into Storm’s face, sending him outside. Rob hits the spinning kick to the back onto a chair onto Storm’s back and both guys are down. Everything breaks down and Rob misses the slingshot legdrop to Storm back inside. Justin gets in a single kick to the back of Rob’s head before he runs back to the floor. Alfonso bridges a table between the ring and barricade for later.

Storm shoves Van Dam off the top rope and onto a chair, setting up the top rope spinwheel kick for two. Rob nails his own spinwheel kick to put Lance down and Rolling Thunder onto a chair crushes Storm again. Justin comes in to go after the downed Van Dam before running away when Rob gets up. Credible is sent to the table on the floor but Sabu runs in and splashes Justin through the table before Rob can jump. Storm hits Jerry with a chair and covers but avoids the Five Star, which hits Lynn by mistake. Jerry kicks out at two, right before a Van Daminator nails Storm. The cradle piledriver is enough to give Jerry the pin.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t great but it followed the tag team formula, making things far easier to sit through. I’m not sure on the booking though as the Impact Players are supposed to be a big deal but they lose in their first major match together. Lynn’s path to the top of the company continues, while Rob continues to not get to the main event for reasons that still don’t make sense, no matter how many times I hear about the TV Title being just as important as the World Title.

The team would lose the titles soon after, only to get a rematch at Living Dangerously 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Impact Players vs. Mike Awesome/Raven vs. Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer

Awesome and Raven are defending and this is elimination rules. Tanaka and Dreamer aren’t here yet as the brawl gets going. Awesome counters a Storm hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb before diving over the top onto Justin and Jason. Raven hits the drop toehold onto Storm onto the chair as Dreamer and Tanaka hit the ring. Tommy immediately DDTs Raven for two before Tanaka clotheslines Credible down.

Storm gets two on Tanaka off a nice dropkick as everyone but Awesome is in the ring. Dreamer bulldogs Raven before heading to the floor for a massive brawl. Awesome nails Storm with a chair as Raven drop toeholds Dreamer face first into the edge of a table for two. The broken table is put up in the corner but Tanaka escapes a running Awesome Bomb and belly to back suplexes Mike through the table. Tanaka hits the Roaring Elbow for the pin on Awesome, guaranteeing us new champions. This is the last time we’ll see Awesome and Raven. More on that later.

Storm stomps on the bleeding Tommy before Justin hits the running release DDT for two. Back to Storm for another great looking dropkick before a sitout powerbomb gets two for Justin. Everything breaks down and Tanaka hits a double Stunner to Lance and Jason. Tanaka and Dreamer hammer away in the corner at the Players but Justin nails Dreamer with a Singapore cane, knocking him into a reverse DDT from Storm. Diamond Dust lays out Justin but Tanaka gets piledriven. A spike piledriver to Dreamer gives the Impact Players the belts back.

Rating: D+. So to recap, Tanaka/Dreamer and Raven/Awesome both won and lost the Tag Team Titles in the span of fifteen days, meaning this match put us right back where we were three weeks ago. The Impact Players were the only option to win here, but the match was such a mess that you could barely tell what was going on.

At Cyberslam 2000, Tommy Dreamer would beat Taz to become World Champion. Justin would attack him a few seconds later and an impromptu title defense broke out.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer’s eye is busted open but he takes both guys to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Justin is rammed into the barricade a few times and they head into the crowd as is ECW’s custom. All Dreamer so far as he whips Justin into the barricade and rings the bell on Justin’s crotch. Back in and Justin reverses a Death Valley Driver into a reverse DDT onto a chair for two. Credible hammers away in the corner and hits his running DDT which isn’t a DDT because he lands on his knees for two.

Dreamer comes back with a bad looking Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter, though it looked more like a Stunner here) for two. Francine, who already screwed Tommy over once recently, helps Dreamer set up a table on the floor. A HORRIBLE looking Death Valley Driver (looked more like a botched TKO) puts Credible through the table but he comes right back with That’s Incredible for two. Jason yells PLAN B and Credible goes after Francine. The delay lets Dreamer hit a DDT on Credible, but Francine turns on Dreamer (SHOCKING!), allowing Justin to get the pin for the title.

Rating: D. Why do heroes always have to be stupid? The chick is famous for turning on everyone and she already turned on you once, so why in the world would you believe her here? Nothing match for the most part as Dreamer becomes one of the most transitional champions of all time. I still have no idea what Heyman saw in Credible.

Credible would drop the title after a few months but had a chance to get it back at November To Remember 2000.

ECW World Title: Steve Corino vs. Sandman/Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Jerry is defending. There’s no Sandman to start so Corino sits on the buckle while the other two fight. Lynn backslides Credible for two but has to stop a superkick from Corino. The champion gets double teamed but Corino starts swinging at Justin. Jerry bulldogs both of them down but Corino comes back up to pound on both of them.

The fans all see something in the audience and then Sandman’s music kicks on. Now the match COMPLETELY stops for his entrance. After about two minutes, Credible beats on Lynn but keeps stopping to look at Sandman. Credible accidentally nails Corino to give Lynn an opening. Jerry has been busted somewhere in there. Sandman FINALLY makes it to the ring after a nearly four minute entrance.

Sandman nails everyone with the cane and Jack Victory gets a shot as well. Corino gets draped over the barricade for a legdrop from Sandman as the matches have paired off. Credible hits a Boss Man Slam on Jerry for two but Sandman sends him into a ladder in the corner. Jerry gets whipped into it as well and a Swanton onto the ladder onto Corino gets two. Justin is busted as well as the partners switch off again.

Sandman bulldogs Credible onto the ladder before sending in a bent piece of barricade. Corino is busted open and Lynn sends Sandman into the barricade at ringside. Someone has set up the piece of barricade on four chairs and Sandman suplexes Corino through all of it. Lynn and Credible fight over a tombston with the champion finally nailing it but Francine breaks up the pin. Dawn comes in for the catfight but Corino breaks it up. Sandman uses the distraction to blast Corino in the head. Steve and Justin superkick Lynn down, setting up Old School Expulsion to Sandman and That’s Incredible to Lynn for a double elimination.

So it’s Corino vs. Credible for the title, meaning there will be a new World Champion. The fans are LIVID at Sandman being eliminated so Corino makes a sudden face turn to try to get them on his side. Sandman and Lynn are staying at ringside. A pair of Bionic Elbows get two on Credible as the fans want RVD to come out. Lynn offers to help Corino to his feet but beats the tar out of his in a rather evil move. Justin is sent to the floor so Sandman legsweeps him into the barricade.

Corino sets up a table in the corner but gets into a chop off with Justin. Both guys are getting rubber legged until Justin cheats with a low blow. They hit heads to put both guys down so Sandman and Lynn act as cheerleaders. Corino suplexes Justin through the table for two so Francine gets in the ring, only to take the superkick from Corino, thanks to Justin pulling her in the way. Old School Expulsion gets two and a superkick gets the same for Justin. Dawn goes after Jack Victory and abandons Steve, but he superkicks Credible down for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess but that’s the nature of something like this. There was absolutely no reason for this to not be a four way dance as that’s more or less what it already was. The problem is it doesn’t mean much as Corino didn’t beat Lynn for the title. A pin over Justin means something but not as much as pinning Jerry would have.

After the demise of ECW, it was off to the WWF where Justin was part of the X Factor stable. Here they are at Backlash 2001.

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

Justin wouldn’t do much during the InVasion and would be out of the company with few accomplishments. After a few years on the indies, we’ll pick things up at an ECW reunion show called Hardcore Homecoming.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Justin is wearing a wifebeater so he looks like a bald and less interesting Billy Kidman. Apparently they had a best of 21 series in the ECW Arena in the summer of 2000. That’s not overkill at all. Jerry is in great shape which I type at the same time Joey says it.

They do a technical style here and Lynn does an awesome move where he’s on the apron and teases a sunset flip but turns in the air and hits a Famerasser instead. I love that. They slow it down a lot and we get a good wrestling match out of these two. Justin argues with Hat Guy which is just fun. It’s saying a lot when you have one fan that gets over just because he’s there a lot. That’s very cool.

In a surprising spot, Jason pops Jerry with a chair and Justin gets the tombstone for a long two. This is actually pretty good. The Cradle piledriver only gets two. Jason shoves Jerry off the top rope for general heelish purposes. Lynn comes back to hit a hurricanrana through a table to the floor, which Joey for some reason calls a reverse victory roll. What the heck?

Jason pulls the referee out. Can someone exterminate him? Jazz breaks up the interference and beats up Jason. You think that’s enough J’s in this match??? The referee is named John also. Lynn hits a Cradle Tombstone Piledriver to get the pin. Lynn says that since his birthday is Sunday (This was a Friday), that wasn’t bad for a 42 year old. The fans actually chant for Justin which will never happen again.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good stuff. Had Jason not been so annoying and had you factored out the tables and the chair and given a hotter crowd, this would have easily been a higher grade. Even still, as Lynn said, not bad for a 42 year old. To say he carried Justin through the match is an understatement though.

Like almost everyone else, Justin had a cup of coffee in TNA. From Genesis 2005.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

Back to the WWE for another ECW reunion, this time on Sci-Fi. From June 13, 2006.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch.

Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

We’ll wrap it up with, say it with me, another ECW reunion, this time under the TNA banner at Hardcore Justice 2010.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

Justin Credible is a case where I just don’t get it. He never did anything for me in ECW and he never did anything for me anywhere else either. Justin’s entire style came down to flip a middle finger, do a bad looking move, yell at the crowd then start it again. I have no idea why that makes him a top star in the company, but that’s ECW for you. It’s also very telling that he did almost nothing of note but ECW reunions after the company folded.

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Today is a guy who I don’t think is nearly as bad as people say he is: Great Khali.

Singh got started in Japan and had a feud with fellow giant Silva. I’ll spare you the disaster that these two put wrestling through and skip ahead to WWE. After a few months in developmental, Khali debuted to avenge Daivari’s losses against the Undertaker. Here’s Khali’s WWE debut on Smackdown, April 21, 2006.

Funaki vs. Great Khali

Chop, big boot, Plunge and we’re done.

Here’s Khali’s showdown with Undertaker from Judgment Day 2006.

Great Khali vs. Undertaker

The gong gets a very solid pop as you would expect. Taker hammers away to start but gets nowhere at all. Scratch that as he gets sent to the floor. Khali tries the chop so Taker hammers away. And once again that gets him stuck on the floor. Nice job there dude. Cole turns into an Undertaker cheerleader as Taker gets a Stunner over the top.

You can tell this is a big match because Old School is countered. And of course, NO ONE has ever countered that before. I love revisionist history at time. Khali hammers away as well as he can, meaning this is really rather boring. Out to the floor again and Taker goes knees first into the steps. That looked painful beyond belief and people wonder why he wrestles like once a year anymore.

Back in and there’s the chop that killed Taker deader than dead before. Khali puts the foot on his chest and Taker kicks out. Of course he sits up and here comes Taker. Old School hits and Khali is staggering. Taker pounds away and hits the jumping clothesline to tie Khali up in the ropes. Fans are rapidly getting into this. Daivari gets up on the apron but the referee saves him. Khali gets untied and the chokeslam doesn’t work. A pair of chops sets up a boot to the head, allowing Khali to put his foot on Taker’s chest and get the clean pin. Now THAT is putting someone over.

Rating: D-. And the match sucked. Did you really expect anything else? The crowd is legit shocked as they probably should be. Khali was supposed to have various PPV matches with Taker but one time he was wellnessed and the second the company flat out said he wasn’t good enough to be on live PPV in a last man standing match so they had it on Smackdown with Taker of course winning. After that, he wound up as world champion so there we are.

And the slightly less worse rematch from August 18, 2006 on Smackdown. This was supposed to be at Summerslam but Khali was too horrible to be put on live TV.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

Last man standing. Khali knocks him down to start but Undertaker wisely goes for the leg. A big boot knocks Undertaker out to the floor but he fights up with uppercuts from the floor. Undertaker comes back with a kick to the head of his own, followed by the apron legdrop and a triangle choke. Daivari goes after Undertaker with a chair, only to get chased up the set (in the days of the BIG FIST), allowing Khali to nail Undertaker from behind. Undertaker is sent into the set a few times before being tossed off the stage and through a table. He’s up at nine though and we take a break.

Back with Khali still in control and they head to ringside again. Undertaker gets hammered but says bring it on, only to be tied up in the ropes by the bigger giant. Khali fires off chops to the head to finally knock Undertaker down for another nine. Back up and Undertaker wins a slugout before clotheslining Khali out to the floor. They whip each other into the steps with Undertaker getting the better of it. He takes the chair from Daivari and pops him in the back with it as the monster is busted. Khali is up at eight so Undertaker blasts him in the ehad with the chair a few times and nails a chokeslam for the ten count.

Rating: C+. Thank goodness for editing. The match was much better than I remember it, even though it wasn’t really anything special. Khali looked like a monster that had to be slayed and Undertaker was always a good choice for it. The chokeslam at the end looked decent enough and the match worked better than it had any right to.

Next up, a match with Shawn Michaels because he can make anyone look good. From Raw, May 7, 2007.

Shawn Michaels vs. Great Khali

No DQ and the winner gets a title shot at Judgment Day. Shawn hammers away to start and gets Khali tied up in the ropes to a HUGE ovation. Not that it matters though as Khali kicks him in the face to take over. Lawler rightly points out that the referee shouldn’t have broken it up because it’s No DQ but no one cares about logic in WWE. Shawn finds a chair from ringside and nails Khali a few times to take over.

A top rope elbow drop looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Khali catches it somewhere around his stomach. There’s the big chop and Khali chokes in the corner, followed by a very heavy clothesline. Shawn fights out of the Plunge and chokes a lot before nailing a baseball slide to knock Khali down. A DDT through the table is easily blocked and Khali throws Shawn through the table for the stoppage.

Rating: C-. There’s only so much Shawn can do when his big superkick can only hit Khali in the mid chest. Khali was a great choice for Cena to slay, even though the match here was nothing special. I’ll give them this though: they tried to do something and it worked about as well as it possibly could have.

Khali would face Cena twice in 48 hours, starting at SNME XXXIV.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Cena is in his one year reign with the belt here and is obviously feuding with Khali. So they’re having this at One Night Stand…which is the next night apparently…so we’re having it here too. Even TNA isn’t this bad about repeating matches. Why did they even have these shows anymore? Khali is completely dominating here. We’re a minute in and Cena has had nothing.

Make that three minutes. Khali dominates even more and all of a sudden Cena has him up for the FU. It doesn’t work and then the chop and chokeslam…gets the pin with one foot? The idiocy of this astonishes me. The world champion just got freaking SQUASHED 24 hours before a PPV. Let that sink in for a bit. Ashley is ring announcer for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. THE WORLD CHAMPION just got SQUASHED in five minutes a DAY before the PPV. Why watch it now??? Why should I buy the PPV now? I know Cena is going to win, but why should I buy Cena as champion now? Apparently Khali needs 5 minutes to beat Cena, and while Cena won the next night, this was freaking stupid. I can’t defend this at all.

And now the second match, for the title, at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

Falls Count Anywhere and a very pro-Cena crowd here. Cena fires off some kicks to the leg but finally gets caught and the power gets going. This is pin only which is kind of weird. Khali uses his basic offense and that’s not meant as a criticism. I mean, he’s Great Khali and a giant. There’s no reason to not have him just do basic stuff to win is there? Big boot puts Cena down again as we haven’t left the ring yet.

Cena tries to speed things up again but Khali raises his leg like a leg lariat to take him down one more time. One arm slam and Khali walks around a bit. Cena avoids a leg drop and manages to get the Throwback out of nowhere. The top rope Fameasser is blocked by the chop though and Cena falls to the floor. That gets two in the first cover of the match. Cena gets in some punches but a low dropkick misses and it’s back to Khali.

In something you won’t often see, Cena’s head goes through a monitor but avoids the big chop. He does however get thrown into the crowd as the beating continues. Out near the production area Cena gets a monitor shot to the head but can’t FU Khali. The big dude gets a bunch of forearm shots to the back as Cena stumbles around a lot. Khali misses a charge and Cena throws a boom camera at him for a two count.

Cena actually gets him up for the FU but the elbows to the head slow it down almost immediately. And hey here’s a crane for no apparent reason. Khali throws him onto the thing and tries the Punjabi Plunge. Cena manages to rake the eyes though and there’s the FU on a crane. FLY FAT BOY FLY as Khali goes to the ground and the pin follows, keeping the title on Cena.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was rather solid. Keeping Khali out of the ring and just letting him pound on people is always the best thing you can do and this was no exception. They had about as basic of a match as you can ask for here and that’s probably a good thing. Khali as the monster isn’t terrible at times and this was one of them. all this one a pleasant surprise.

Later in the month, Khali would enter a battle royal for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship. From Smackdown on June 20, 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

Batista, Brett Major, Brian Major, Chavo Guerrero, Dave Taylor, Chris Masters, Deuce, Domino, Eugene, Finlay, Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Jamie Knoble, Kane, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shannon Moore, Funaki

It’s a brawl to start with various people fighting each other. Henry throws out the Major Brothers by himself and Khali sends Moore out a few seconds later. There goes Funaki at Khali’s hands as well and we take a break. Back with no extra eliminations until it’s Khali vs. Henry for the big showdown. Nothing happens though as Kane and Batista break it up, allowing the rest of the entrants to dump Henry.

Things slow down as the fans try to get behind Matt Hardy. MVP goes after Khali and walks into a big chop. Batista wakes up and dumps Deuce and Domino (the Smackdown Tag Team Champions) before Kane tosses Dave Taylor. Kane and Batista square off but Noble gets in between them, only to have both big men launch him out. Eugene gets the same treatment and the ring is rapidly clearing out.

We’re down to Kane, Batista, Khali, Hardy, MVP, Finlay, Yang, Guerrero, Masters and Dykstra. Kane NAILS Yang with a right hand to knock him down as Chavo takes Batista down with a cross body. The camera angles start getting all weird with closeups before Batista saves himself from elimination by Finlay. We take another break and come back to see Dykstra eliminated.

Guerrero goes to the apron and comes back in for no apparent reason as Matt eliminates MVP (his opponent on Sunday) to get us down to eight. Masters puts Yang in the Masterlock but Chavo makes the save for no apparent reason. The cruiserweights team up to put out Masters but Yang eliminates Chavo a few seconds later. We’re down to six as Kane and Batista go after Khali, only to get kicked away. Cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to eliminate Yang. Really? Yang warranted interference?

Khali chops Matt out and Finlay has disappeared. Batista and Kane get chopped as Khali stands tall. He poses too long though, allowing Finlay to come in with that club that I can’t spell. Kane loads up a chokeslam on Finlay but Batista spears both guys down and dumps Finlay. It’s Kane, Batista and Khali remaining with the biggest man quickly being knocked down. Batista and Kane fight near the ropes, allowing Khali to dump them both and win the title.

Rating: D+. This was long and the space between the eliminations got really annoying. Did we really need to have Jimmy Wang Yang in the final six guys? There was no one else you could put in that spot? Khali winning was a logical choice as he didn’t win the Raw Title but was still a big enough deal that the guy beating him would look like a conquering hero. Not the worst ever and I can forgive the length due to what was on the line.

Khali would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Batista. Here’s their rematch at No Mercy 2007, in one of the truly unique gimmick ideas WWE ever had.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

Khali wouldn’t do much for the next year, but would get a title shot at Summerslam 2008.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.

HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.

Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten. Easily Khali’s best match ever.

Khali would turn face soon after this and be on Shawn Michaels’ Survivor Series team in 2008.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali
John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

I think you can figure out the feuds yourself here. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once here. MVP is in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and I believe the US Title. Rey hits a quick rana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. We hear about how great Morrison is from Striker, but unfortunately that chick Melina screwed up his future. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s off to Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Why would you turn your back when you throw Shawn over the top rope? At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn skins the cat. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard rana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. The correct chant would be “You can’t work a style we like because we think that flying around and using a lot of moves is how a wrestler’s talents are determined because we don’t know what we’re talking about!” Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker.

Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own (take that Morrison) to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 final score for lack of a better term.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

2009 would be a pretty bad year for Khali but he did have this match at The Bash.

Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a street fight for all intents and purposes. I love Runjin Singh. His sideburns have powers I think. Ziggler’s music is perfect. Actually make that perfection. Also he’s apparently moved from Hollywood, Florida to Hollywood, California. His look is great until his hair gets all puffy and then he looks like Curt Hennig which is a compliment.

Of course Ziggler gets beaten down early, including taking the chop that pinned Cena back in 07 or so but since Khali is a jobber to the stars now it’s just a regular move. Khali is just scary huge. I’ve seen him live and he’s massive. And then he chops the post to get himself in trouble. Dolph grabs a chair which is fine here and he wisely goes for the knee. At least he’s thinking.

We get the bowling shoe analogy about Khali and I roll my eyes. He’s 7’4 and 450lbs. What the heck are you expecting him to do? And here comes Kane for no adequately explained reason. Ziggler beats the tar out of Khali’s knee as Kane is coming and then Kane goes semi-Austin at Mania 17 on Khali. And then Ziggler gets the pin. This went nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s your standard David vs. Goliath here and that’s all it was supposed to be. The key thing here is that Ziggler has a huge win by pinfall that in this match is perfectly legal. He’s never really gotten a big push, but he started feuding with Rey just after this so that’s something I guess.

We’ll jump way ahead to Raw on September 6, 2010 as Khali’s career is starting to fall quickly.

Edge vs. Great Khali

Edge goes outside to break the computer but the referee stops him. He makes fun of Khali like Hall used to make fun of Show. Edge wins by count out in about a minute. Total waste of time, but we have an e-mail. The GM doesn’t care so the match continues as an over the top rope challenge.

Back from a break and Edge sells the overhand chop really well. Khali steps over the top rope to the floor and nothing happens. Lawler tries to cover by saying you have to be thrown over. I love rule changes for the sake of rule changes. He steps over again but Edge grabs his leg, so this one counts.

Rating: N/A. Total waste of time here as it was just to give Edge what seemed like a difficult match. This went nowhere at all and wasn’t interesting as everyone knew Edge would pull it off somehow.

Another year off now as we hit Raw on September 5, 2011. Khali actually had a story at this point as his brother in law Jinder Mahal was forcing him to be evil to prevent him from shaming Khali’s sister.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali

They’re officially Air Boom. Justin Roberts told me so. This is non-title. Mahal vs. Bourne to start us off and Bourne tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a jumping knee. Lawler has to fight either Otunga or McGillicutty later tonight. Khali comes in and beats up Bourne for a bit and it’s back to Jinder. Bourne gets in a shot and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He beats up Mahal but is sent to the floor by Khali. Khali sends Kofi back in but misses a chop, hitting Mahal instead. That sets up the Shooting Star for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. This match made perfect sense. The champions couldn’t hang against the two bigger guys physically so they used teamwork to escape with the win. I liked this and it’s cool to see a team thrown together actually working as a unit and having some chemistry. You can get good teams out of that and it’s working here.

Khali would be called upon to be a monster at Elimination Chamber 2012.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Another one off match from the live Great American Bash Smackdown.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Khali’s matches would start getting a lot shorter due to injuries. Here’s an example from Smackdown on February 8, 2013.

Great Khali vs. Titus O’Neal

Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.

We’ll wrap it up with Raw, June 30, 2014.

Great Khali vs. Damien Sandow

Chop, pin, four seconds.

Great Khali is a guy who gets more flack than he deserves. No he isn’t great in the ring or anything like that, but what do you expect from a guy 7’3 and 420lbs? He’s a power giant and that’s all he should try to do. Just like every other giant in history, a lot of the mystique went away once he got beat and that’s to be expected. He’s never going to win the Lou Thesz Award, but people calling him the worst wrestler in the world completely miss the point.

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Thunder
Date: March 18, 1999
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

For the life of me I don’t know why I didn’t go to this show. I remember hearing about it on WCW TV around this time but I never saw an ad for the show life. I went to the other Thunder but not this one for some reason. Anyway, WCW is coming out of a really good Nitro and a big upgrade to this month’s pay per view, even though it wasn’t a great show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about Nitro’s tag match and mention Flair walking out on Goldberg. They did a really bad job of explaining that on Monday as Flair was legdropped a few seconds earlier and was down when the show ended.

Kenny Kaos vs. Bobby Duncum Jr.

Kaos grabs a few headlocks on the mat but gets countered into a headscissors every time. A hard shoulder sends Duncum to the floor and back inside a powerslam gets two for Kenny. Bobby comes back with a shoulder block but pulls Kaos up at two. He follows up with a shoulder breaker for two and we hit a quickly broken chinlock. Bobby gets a boot up in the corner but walks into a powerslam for two. Duncum comes right back with a Skull Crushing Finale for the pin.

Rating: D. Maybe it’s a good thing I didn’t go to this show. There were a few weeks there where Thunder was trying, but a Bobby Duncum Jr. vs. Kenny Kaos match isn’t trying. It’s filling in the TV time with wrestlers who happen to work for WCW. The fact that this is the live show scares me.

We recap the Stevie Ray/Horace/Vince stuff from Monday.

Gene brings out Curt Hennig for a chat. Curt says he’s that certain someone that every promoter is looking for. Flair may be the President of WCW but he’s also the World Champion. Hennig wants to face him for the title tonight and insults short people for some reason. He brings up slamming the cage door on Flair’s head a year and a half ago. Flair has fifteen minutes to respond.

Vampiro vs. Prince Iaukea

This is Vampiro’s return after one match back in June of 1998. A shoulder block and spinning kick to the face drop the Prince but he comes back with a springboard missile dropkick. Prince goes up again but springboards into a clothesline. Iaukea comes back with a dive to the floor and some right hands to the head, followed by a springboard dropkick to knock Vampiro off the apron.

Back in and Vampiro scores with some kicks to the chest as Saturn comes out to watch from the aisle. That goes nowhere and Vampiro nails a Rock Bottom and a legdrop for two. Vampiro flips out of a monkey flip and superkicks the Price down. Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but history hasn’t been kind to Vampiro. He’s watchable in the ring but time has shown that he’s almost all flash with nothing to back it up in the ring. To be fair to him, dragging an entertaining match out of Iaukea was next to impossible. Not a great debut but there have been worse.

Horace and Brian Adams talk about the events on Monday. Adams isn’t sure what’s going on but Horace cuts him off with a right hand to the jaw.

Gene brings out Flair for a chat. Flair has three things to get straight before he gets to what he needs to talk about. First, whether anyone likes it or not, he’s the World Champion. Before he goes on, he yells at a fat boy in the audience holding a Hogan sign. Second, he’s the President for life. Third, he’s a Florida Gator and has never met a Wildcat that he liked. Flair says he’s tired of walking into these arenas every week and sucking up to the fans, especially when this outfit costs more than an average man makes in Kentucky in a year.

Now on to business. Last night at midnight, Flair had no idea where Scott Hall was, so the US Title is vacant. There’s going to be a tournament for the title, culminating at Spring Stampede. The first match is tonight with Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Meng. That means every title has changed hands in the span of five days.

Flair calls out Hennig and has three things to say to him. One, if he messes up Flair’s suit, he’s fired. Two, he respects Hennig but he doesn’t get a shot tonight. Instead, he can have Hollywood in the main event. Hennig is fine with a warm-up match before he gets to face Flair. Flair’s third point: if Hennig touches Flair, he has three choices: two other wrestling companies or go home. Tony: “There are two other wrestling companies?”

Clips of Mysterio taking the Cruiserweight Title on Monday in a great match.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This works. Juvy chops away to start and takes the champion down with a headscissors. He tries another headscissors out of the corner but gets dropped face first with a reverse powerbomb. Rey follows up with a moonsault but doesn’t cover for some reason. Back in and Juvy’s running powerslam is countered with a whip into the corner. Juvy bails outside and gets nailed with a running flip dive.

We come back from a break with Rey firing off forearms and draping Juvy over the middle rope, setting up a top rope guillotine legdrop. Juvy counters a hurricanrana and plants him with a running Liger Bomb. He can’t follow up though and I have no idea why the referee isn’t counting when both guys are down with Rey’s legs on top of Guerrera.

Back up and they run the ropes with Rey taking him down with a headscissors for two. There’s a Juvy Driver out of nowhere for two and Guerrera is stunned. Rey’s sitout bulldog is countered with a crotching on the top but Rey crotches him right back. A springboard hurricanrana retains Rey’s title.

Rating: B-. Any combination of these two and Kidman were going to be awesome. Mysterio may have been the best cruiserweright wrestler of all time and some of the stuff he was doing around this time was just awesome. Something tells me this is going to be the high http://onhealthy.net/product-category/skin-care/ point of the show.

This Week in WCW Motorsports: not much.

Disco’s version of the Konnan video.

Disco Inferno vs. Disciple

Their names both start with the same four letters and they both use Stunners for a finisher. I’m so bored that I’m picking up things like that. The next most interesting note: Sting will be on QVC selling Beanie Bambinos on Wednesday. Disciple runs him over with a shoulder to start. An armbar goes nowhere so Disciple hammers away in the corner but Disco rolls away from the Apocalypse. Back in and the Chartbuster is blocked as well before Disciple hits an atomic drop. Three straight clotheslines get two on Disco but he comes back with the Chartbuster (now called the Last Dance) for the pin.

Rating: D. Another match where they’re clearly just throwing people out there to fill in time. Disciple was decent in a role like this where he could get beaten up, even though he didn’t have the highest level of skills. When Disco Inferno is by far the better guy in your match, you’ve got a major problem.

Horace vs. Brian Adams

It’s a brawl to start as Adams suplexes him down and Tony laughs at the Black and White falling apart. Brian misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in a DDT. Horace throws him out to the floor and actually hits a suicide dive. Back in and a splash gets two for Horace but Adams comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. With his offense exhausted, Adams sends him back to the floor. That goes nowhere so Horace gets two off a small package back inside. Cue Vince for a distraction and a foreign object to Horace. A hard shot to Adams’ head is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. Horace Hogan is now winning matches on television. I mean….that’s how low we’ve sunk people. One of the jobbiest jobbers to ever job for a job is getting wins on live television in my hometown. The match wasn’t interesting, it wasn’t really good, and it had interference and a weapon. I’ll take anything else now.

Horace on the way to the back: “SCALLIWAG!”

Gene is in the back with Rick Steiner, who says he wants to get in on this new hardcore division. He’s been working with a striking coach to get better at the fighting style. Fit Finlay comes in and says he’s from streets so tough that the only people walking down them were in armored cars. He talks about Rick killing squirrels for some reason. Rick: “Anything I can kill.” Now Finlay is talking about coming to Rick’s house for some reason but they agree to a match on Monday instead. I have no idea what I just heard.

Gene (he’s busy tonight) brings out Hogan. Hollywood mentions the dark cloud over Sunday’s title match but first wants to acknowledge the fans’ reaction when he came out. Hogan couldn’t believe there was an issue between Goldberg and Flair on Monday because everyone knows he never lost the title on Sunday. He refers to himself as Hollywood Hulk Hogan here.

Nash told him that the fans want Hogan to take it to his opponents from now on, and there’s a new Hollywood now. He talks about the power of the pythons and says if you believe in Hollywood and the Pack (Jack) you believe in them for life. Hogan says he’s going to pull some of the old tricks out of the closet and he doesn’t care who Flair throws at him. The fans weren’t as into this as they should have been, but the crowd is so dead from the show they’ve sat through so far.

US Title Tournament First Round: Meng vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They slug it out to start and I wouldn’t expect much selling here. Meng tries a slam but Bigelow falls on top of him for two. Bigelow goes to the eyes and puts on a chinlock as the BORING chant begins. Meng comes back with a jawbreaker and hammers away in the corner. A big kick to the face sets up the Tongan Death Grip for the win.

Rating: D. This should have been a much bigger brawl with no chinlocks. Instead it was less than five minutes long with no energy and a quick ending. I’ll give them this though: I wasn’t sure who was going to win until the end, which isn’t something you often get on this show, especially this episode.

Hollywood Hogan vs. Curt Hennig

Hogan takes him to the ropes to start and actually puts on a cross armbreaker. Back up and some right hands have no effect on Hogan so he punches Hennig in the corner. Hennig nails some more right hands to better effect followed by some choking. Horace Hogan comes out to ringside as Curt hits the necksnap.

Hogan fights back with more right hands and an abdominal stretch. Curt escapes and slams him down, sending Hogan to the floor. That’s fine with Hollywood who pulls Hennig outside and whips him with the weightlifting belt. Hennig takes it away and whips Hogan before Horace breaks up the PerfectPlex. Hulk Up, big boot, legdrop, we’re done.

Rating: D. The finishing sequence got a better reaction from the crowd but the face turn is still waiting for its big moment. He needs to ditch the black and white or at least shave for it to really kick in. The match wasn’t much to see though, which is odd given how many times these guys have fought each other.

Hollywood jaws to the camera a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. This is why it’s really hard to get behind WCW. They’ll come off a hot show on Monday and then we get something like this where there’s no effort put in and the show is a disaster. Juvy vs. Mysterio was good and it’s nice to see some star power at the end, but I was done after the first hour. I’m so glad I didn’t go to this show as I can’t imagine what next week will be like.

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We’re still in the dry stretch before we get to Summerslam and that makes for some very uninteresting hours of television. The fact that Lesnar, Cena and Heyman were all absent from Monday’s show didn’t make things any better. That’s not to say the show was a disaster though so let’s get to it.

The Authority opened the show and let’s get this out of the way: they plugged the Network and it’s $9.99 price ALL NIGHT LONG. Yeah it gets annoying, but at the same time, what are you expecting them to do? The company’s future depends a lot on that thing succeeding and the international release is going to help them out a lot. I don’t care for it either, but it’s something I can live with for the sake of the future.

The point of the promo was to set up the night’s festivities: Ambrose vs. Del Rio and Rollins vs. Van Dam in a Beat the Clock Challenge with the winner getting to pick the stipulation at Summerslam, Stephanie and Brie having a contract signing, and Orton being ticked off at Reigns for various reasons. Reigns came out and wanted to fight, but got a match with Kane instead.

Reigns beat Kane in a pretty weak Last Man Standing match. I don’t care for putting these matches together on the fly like this, especially when this would have been a better option for Battleground. Reigns beating another World Champion is a good thing, but Kane has really started to hit rock bottom on these things. He’s just there anymore and it’s getting hard to sit through.

We got the first of two videos on Brock vs. Cena. These were really well done and made Brock sound like a person instead of just a killing machine. That’s a good thing as it adds another level of character to him.

Mark Henry returned and destroyed Damien Sandow, who was playing an Oklahoma Sooner football player this week. I’m guessing this was a shot at JR and I really don’t mind it that much. It’s not like it was that insulting. It was just cheap heat.

Ambrose beat Del Rio in a long and not very good match. Del Rio beat on Ambrose’s bad arm for his usual good psychology but Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds with the other arm (his right arm) for the pin. That didn’t do much for me as it wouldn’t seem to matter which arm he used. This would be Del Rio’s last televised match in WWE and I can’t say I’m going to miss him that much.

Rusev beat Sin Cara on the App in his usual style. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about that. Colter came out and did the usual back and forth with Lana before Rusev beat up Swagger.

Dolph Ziggler pinned Cesaro in a quick match while Miz talked trash. Nothing to see here.

Paige hopes AJ gets better soon. These segments are all so short that there isn’t much to talk about.

Goldust and Stardust beat Ryback and Curtis Axel because that’s what these teams do.

Kane took off his mask and gave it to the Authority. I really don’t care about this anymore given how many times it’s happened now.

Bray Wyatt got Luke Harper disqualified against Chris Jericho, meaning Harper is barred from ringside at Summerslam. Why this match got five minutes with all the other nonsense we had to sit through is beyond me, as these two seem capable of having a great fifteen or so minute match.

Diego beat Fandango again, but this time Hornswoggle got to dance with Torito and the girls. This is time that could have gone to Harper vs. Jericho.

Orton had very little to say about Roman Reigns.

Bo Dallas beat R-Truth with a quick rollup, making the loss last week seem meaningless.

Bray Wyatt said his usual schtick.

Another Lesnar vs. Cena video with a lot of the same clips from earlier.

Heath Slater replaced RVD (injured) in the match with Rollins. Ambrose came out for a great series of distractions, allowing Slater to get a rollup pin. Dean is so perfect for this role and it works like a charm.

Stephanie and Brie had their contract signing with Stephanie beating up both Bellas. We need the big names back, if nothing else so we don’t have to put up with this closing the shows anymore.

The show was far longer than interesting. There’s about a two hour stretch in there that drags on for so long because everything is so quick and dull that it’s hard to care about it one way or another. Summerslam really needs to get here so we can have something new to watch though. It’s really not working right now and a lot of that is due to the focus on Brie vs. Stephanie. I’m still waiting on an explanation for how this match is historic, but it might be because it’s the least interesting match to close back to back Raws in years.

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Hell In A Cell 2009
Date: October 4, 2009
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Attendance: 16,186
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Michael Cole

So here we are again as Vince tries to turn one match into a whole PPV, this time having three Cell matches. Not overkill at all there, not a bit of it. This has all of the big matches in the Cell other than the ECW Title because that’s not a real world title right? Other than that there’s not much on the card as it’s pretty run of the mill. Again I’m trying to bridge the gap between what’s going on at the moment and the past so getting all of the 2009 shows done helps a lot with that. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about chicken pot pie and the history of q-tips. What else would it be about? The announcers run down the card and we’re ready to go.

We recap Punk vs. Taker which more or less was just their match at Breaking Point and then Taker beating up Teddy Long. I think we all knew Punk was losing here but we didn’t know how.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Undertaker

Taker gets a freaking POP. After the big match intros, Taker is beating the tar out of him. That can’t be a good sign. Ross explains that the support beams are supporting the structure. Thanks for that Jimmy Boy. The fans are split with an INSANE Undertaker/CM Punk dueling chant.

Punk goes on offense for about 40 seconds and then that ends. Taker is selling the knee so I can’t complain about him not doing that. A TMNT game is the sponsor for this and it’s weird seeing that logo on every replay they do. Punk throws a suicide dive and slams into the cage where he might have legit hurt his hand. Don’t think he did but it’s close either way.

Taker gets a SWEET big boot and legdrop as he unleashes his internal Hulk Hogan which is kind of creepy. To be fair here: he sells the knee the whole time. That’s what people are talking about with psychology and storytelling. Punk worked on the knee early and now that we’re well into the match, that work is being brought up again.

It ties the match together and gives meaning to the stuff done earlier in the match. After some chair shots, Punk sends Taker into the corner and goes for his running knee/bulldog combo but gets caught in the Last Ride where Taker kind of just throws him which looked great but it only got two.

Old School, the most counterable move in the world, is countered (thank goodness) and Punk is back on offense. A chokeslam with more knee selling ends that though. And the Tombstone starts the title reign that he’s on as of this writing. Dang it sounds weird to say that.

Rating: D. For a regular match this is a solid B, but as a Cell match this is a total joke. The cage was used in ONE spot and other than that it was a one on one match. That’s just dumb and further proof of how dumb of an idea that this is. There was a rumor/story that Punk was punished for not dressing right on the road as champion. Screw that man. With all the shenanigans Shawn used to get away with he never got treated like this.

That’s just dumb. I get giving Taker the belt, but dang it’s stupid if that’s the reason for making Punk look weak here. This wasn’t quite a squash but Punk looked weak as all goodness, which to be fair I think was because he was against Taker in the Cell so there we are.

Ad for Bragging Rights.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

WOW this feud seems like it was years ago when it was like 4 months. Morrison comes out first which is really weird when you think about it. Ziggler’s music is awesome if nothing else. That shinny thing that Dolph does to get out of his vest is nice. This is the day after Morrison turned thirty in case you were interested for some odd stalker based reason. What in the heck is up with Dolph’s hair? And why hasn’t Word heard of the word Dolph?

Didn’t it ever see Rocky IV? It amazes me how Morrison showed so much promise and Miz is flat out better than he is at the moment. They’re using a more mat based thing here which is odd but it’s not terrible I suppose. Just as I say that Morrison goes to the air and misses Starship Pain.

Ziggler is good at being the obnoxious heel but he needs a different name if he’s ever going to be taken seriously. But hey, it’s “realistic” right? Love that corner splash he does too. He’s a lot better technically than I would have guessed him to be. Morrison starts his comeback and the crowd is really hot tonight which makes this a better show as it does in all cases.

That standing Shooting Star Press is either overrated or awesome and either way it’s as all goodness. Not sure which though. They’re hitting some sweet near falls here. Ziggler uses a jawbreaker of some kind but it came off looking really weird. Morrison sells the neck work that Ziggler did. That’s a great sign as so few people do it.

I’m liking this match a good deal indeed. The near falls are getting better and better. Starship Pain is countered again which is good as Ziggler was laying there forever and it would have sucked if it hit. Crowd chants THIS IS AWESOME and they’re right. Morrison counters the ZigZag and hits a much faster Starship Pain to get the pin. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. Probably too high but this was a very fun match. The near falls were great and at times they had me believing Morrison wasn’t a lock to win which is the best thing a match can do: get you to believe something you know it’s true and that’s what they did here. This was very fun though as it was given the time to flesh itself out as it had over 15 minutes to work with. The IC Title hunt was just awesome at this time and this was no exception.

Josh is with Batista and Rey who were about to start the worst feud of the year which I had the luck of being at the first and last matches of. Lucky me. They have Jerishow tonight. Oh joy.

And the TMNT are here, dancing in the balcony. They’re 25 years old now. That’s just freaking scary. They mention the new movie coming out in 2011, which is awesome. We get a clip of their new game which almost made me buy a Wii.

Raw Women’s Title: Alicia Fox vs. Mickie James

For the life of me I have never gotten why Fox was given a push. It made ZERO sense so they did it anyway of course. This is exactly what you would expect it to be as it’s a completely standard Divas match that could be on any television show at all. Fox looks decent at best but she’s just not that impressive.

She’s fabulous apparently though which I just don’t get I guess. Mickie hits a Thesz Press off the top for two as this is very boring indeed. She follows that up with a HORRIBLE botch of the Jumping DDT to keep the title.

Rating: D. Like I said this could have been on any Raw and it would have been just as dreadful. At least they kept it short. That Smart Sexy and Powerful thing is a joke if there’s ever been one. This was really weak though as most Diva matches are to be fair.

Don’t try this at home.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Batista/Rey Mysterio

This was considered a lock of new champions for some odd reason. Naturally they referenced Eddie at least once in the buildup to this match. Get over it. He’s dead. Were we ever told why Rey and Batista were best friends or whatever? I don’t think we were. Yes they were world tag team champions. So were Eddie and Tajiri.

Why do we need Show and Batista here? Why are either of them associated with Smackdown? Batista was sent there in order to give it star power and since then the quality of the show has gone down quickly. But hey, we have a muscle guy on the show now right?

For zero apparent reason the faces are working over the right arm of Jericho. That’s just odd as all goodness . Oh look Rey vs. Show. This hasn’t been done in at least 5 weeks so it’s a fresh angle. Rey vs. monster is eternally good right? So says Vince at least. He chops the heck out of Rey and knocks him to the floor. That’s sweet if nothing else. Show pulls him from the floor with one hand by his mask. That’s just completely amazing.

We go to a REALLY wide shot of the arena for no apparent reason. Batista gets the hot tag and beats up both guys. This is your standard main event tag to this point which means it’s ok but nothing epic to say the least. The spinebuster gets two on Jericho. Codebreaker does the same but switch the recipient to Joan Crawford then substitute in Batista. Ok so I’m bad at random jokes.

Batista is getting beaten down now so they’re going with Rey for the big save. When Jericho is huge compared to Rey, that’s a really bad sign. Oy it’s Rey vs. Show again. Rey gets a decent springboard DDT and then is launched across the ring on a kickout.

They say that would have been a huge upset, even though Rey is a former world champion. That makes sense right? Show pulls Jericho out of the way of a 619 and Batista spears both of them down at once. Rey hits it on Show and then goes for a springboard something and jumps into the fist. That looked PAINFUL.

Rating: C+. This started off generic and got slightly less generic as it went on. This right here is everything wrong with tag wrestling today: take two teams of guys with nothing in common and throw them together and they’re one of the top tag teams in the world. That makes so little sense I don’t even know where to begin. The match was your standard main event tag match and it worked like they usually do: not bad but nothing epic.

We recap Cena vs. Orton which should only take a few hours. Mainly it’s just the rematch from Breaking Point. The thing is about this match, it actually makes sense to put them in the Cell for a change as it’s a very longstanding feud so there’s nothing wrong with this. We get clips from Raw where Cena FUed Orton on top of it and it bent. That was cool if nothing else.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton gets a small face pop again. All right I’ll say it: I love Cena’s theme song and I sing along at times. Cena is champion here and this is Orton’s last shot allegedly. This is the first ever Cell match that HHH or Taker weren’t in. That’s saying a lot when you think about it. Orton takes over early and is in control. King offers analysis of what’s going on. Why? He’s never been in one of these things so what kind of knowledge can he have of them?

Crowd is TOTALLY behind Orton here. They’re 3 minutes in and they’ve used the cage FAR more than Taker and Punk did, which isn’t saying much at all really but whatever. They’re using the cage to jump up higher for kicks and getting slammed into it a bit, but the problem is you could use the posts or the apron for everything they’re doing.

The best version ever of the match was Shawn vs. Taker, as Shawn was scared to death of him and couldn’t get out. He was trapped in a nightmare with the devil. That’s the idea of the match. Instead here it’s just a hardcore match in a cage. Now to be fair, just about every match ever in the Cell is like that anymore so it’s hardly a problem that just this match is having.

Cena blocks the elevated DDT onto the steps. No one is keeping control for more than just a little bit which I’m not sure if I like or not. They’re just standing around in a match that’s supposed to be all about violence. What sense does something like that even begin to make? Cena begins his comeback with his usual stuff and I have zero clue why this is in the Cell.

The elevated DDT hits after Orton takes over. The FU gets two and we’re in the kicking out of finishers segment already. Shockingly, an Orton match is going VERY slowly. Orton hits Cena in the neck with a chair! Hey kids! Hit someone in the neck with a chair! It’s on a PG show so it’s all good. Orton has demons? Cool.

I wonder if Vince tells the camera guys to focus on Orton when he’s in crazy mode as it looks like he’s orgasming or something like that. Cena works the knee for like two seconds and Orton tries to get out of the STFU. He gets it again for the tap but the referee was knocked down. What a shame!

RKO gets two. Orton ties Cena up in the ropes for no adequately explored reason. In something that I laughed out loud at, he uses a chinlock while Cena is tied in the ropes. Seriously, why am I not surprised? Orton lets go for no adequately explored reason. He punts Cena and wins the title. The 4 seconds of knee work Cena did earlier was the explanation of why Orton’s punt didn’t put Cena on the shelf. That’s just freaking stupid but whatever.

Rating: D. Again, for a Cell match, this was awful but for a regular match this would have been ok. The Cell use here was better than in the Taker match, but at the same time there just isn’t enough here to validate having the Cell being in play here.

Also having seen it earlier in the night it makes it seem FAR less interesting. The psychology was more or less nonexistent here too. Overall just not good. Keep in mind: had this been a street fight or whatever, it’s probably a B. As for a Cell match though which it was, this was awful.

Ad for Allied Powers which I really need to finish as I’ve been stuck in the middle of it for like 4 months now.

R-Truth of all people gets interview time. He’s had issues with Drew McIntyre lately. They recap that and I truly couldn’t care less. This might be the picture in the dictionary under pointless filler.

Drew McIntyre vs. R-Truth

McIntyre is just flat out boring, no matter how you look at him. But hey, Vince apparently likes him so get ready to be stuck with him. Wow. I think the crowd here is certifiably dead. The scissors kick misses and so does Drew’s finisher. That DDT of his ends it. Seriously those were the highlights of a 5 minute match. Nothing here at all.

Rating: F+. Seriously, this would have sucked on television or even on a house show. Ross says he could be greater than Piper. I give up.

Legacy congratulates Orton on his title win. Orton tries to do the whole Cell changes you thing. It’s stupid after that match to say the least. The seeds are planted for the Legacy breakup which I don’t think has happened yet.

Ad for Bragging Rights.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger

Who would have dreamed that at this point, the by far biggest deal of these three would be Miz? And that Swagger hasn’t actually won anything yet. This is the night before Big Ben hosted Raw. Can we PLEASE get some new material for the triple threat matches?

This is your standard stuff for the triple threat match as the heels work together and then fight over who gets a pin so Kofi can get back up. Miz is running this match actually. Yes I’m a Miz mark. Get over it. Fans like Swagger apparently. This is another match that could have been on television but it’s still ahead of McIntyre and Truth.

I’d prefer a one on one match but that’s just me. Kofi kicks the heck out of Swagger and Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Kofi but Swagger kind of makes the save. The powerbomb hits on Miz but ANOTHER kick to Swagger lets Kofi pin Miz instead. Picked up A LOT at the end.

Rating: C. This would have been far lower but the last two minutes were way better than the first five so it gets pulled up to ok. Still though, this could have been on any Raw and it would have done just fine. Miz would take the title the next night clean. Why couldn’t they do that here instead?

We recap Legacy vs. DX. New vs. Old. There’s your recap.

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Seriously, THIS goes on last? The fight starts on the floor and it’s DX beating on Rhodes. Oh the match hasn’t started yet. Oh joy indeed. Keep in mind: DX is CONTROVERSIAL. Keep that in mind. HHH is in the crowd. We haven’t been in the Cell yet. Legacy and HHH are up by the freaking entrance and Shawn is down at ringside. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THE CAGE???

HEY Ted went into the cage. And now he’s back out and I didn’t even get to finish typing that sentence. Cody is mostly in it now. HHH is down on the ramp by the way. Shawn’s foot is in. Ok, so now everyone but HHH is in the cage now. So in other words, the match hasn’t actually started yet still because it’s supposed to be the two teams IN a HIAC match. This is a handicap in a Cell even though the bell rings. My head hurts.

Aww Shawn looks like a sad puppy. HHH is laying on the ramp with his arms at his sides, likely saying he can be a better messiah than anyone else can. So in case the first 40 times didn’t make it clear, IT’S TWO ON ONE! Naturally Legacy isn’t capable of the idea of you hold I’ll hit. Oh the Cell makes it 3-1 apparently. Keep that in mind: Shawn is against INSANE odds.

Shawn finds a chair and pelts it at Cody. That looked painful. HHH is back up again. Shawn, on a bad knee, does the RVD Spider Man thing. Sure why not. HHH still can’t get in. Shawn kicks DiBiase and I hate this match quite a bit. This would be THE GREATEST WIN OF SHAWN’S CAREER. Cole do you even think before you talk? Shawn takes the crucified position for awhile now. HHH tries using a chair to get in. WHY NOT JUST USE BOLT CUTTERS!

He’s stood there like ten minutes just trying to get in while Ted yells at him. The idiocy here astounds me. Hey, let’s just stand here talking while the most resilient wrestler ever is down. That won’t be a bad idea at all will it? HHH finally grows a brain and leaves. Legacy, FREAKING DO SOMETHING. Seriously, they hit him like twice and then stand around more.

This is another match like Mania 25’s main event where they tried to do something cool and it failed miserably. The do kind of a Van Terminator. How interesting. They use the double submission that they won with at Breaking Point which of course they let go of after about 4 seconds. Oh and look: HHH is back WITH BOLT CUTTERS!

He gets in and you know the rest. Only took 20 minutes to actually start the match. Apparently he had to go to an equipment truck to get them because you know, there weren’t any around in case they needed to get into the Cell or anything like that right? The Cell isn’t locked anyway so the match isn’t as advertised anyway. OK!

Now it’s locked with all four in, so the advertised main event begins with five and a half minutes to go in the show. Halloween Havoc 98 anyone? In a stupid as cheese spot, they wrap the chair around Ted’s NECK and Shawn drops a top rope elbow on it. Yep he should be dead. Sledgehammer time. Ted is outside now as I guess they threw him out. He’s back up 8 seconds after something that in storyline terms should have broken his neck. They easily pin Cody. Big old celebration ends the show.

Rating: C-. Ok, here the cage actually came into play so BIG points for that. Even still though, a Cell match should be at least a B-/B simply due to it being in the Cell and it being so RARE. More on that later. This was an actual 2-2 match in the Cell for about 2 minutes. They tries here so I can give them that, but still this was just not that good and really underwhelming for a Cell match.

Overall Rating: D-. Now I know a lot of you will say that it wasn’t that bad. That’s the point. For a normal PPV, this indeed would have been decent. However, THREE Cell matches in one night? There were times where we didn’t see it for a freaking year and we get three in one night? What sense does that even begin to make? With three Cell matches, it’s just too much overall. Two of them were just flat out not needing the cage.

The first match was really bad about this. Also, ZERO BLOOD. It’s HELL in a Cell. Not slight discomfort in a Cell. HELL in a Cell. These matches weren’t brutal or anything like that. They were regular matches other than arguably the main event in a cage. This completely missed for me on just about all levels. Really bad show but some people might like it I guess. Take a pass in my mind. Oh yeah: Morrison and Ziggler was good so this doesn’t fail.

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Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

NXT
Date: August 7, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Rich Brennan, Jason Albert, Alex Riley

Things have been oddly dull in NXT lately but we’ve got a #1 contenders tournament starting up tonight whichs hould liven things up a bit. If nothing else there’s going to be a new set of challengers for the Ascension, which is exactly what the division needs. We might even get some Vaudevillains tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Tye Dillinger/Jason Jordan vs. Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore

HUGE pop for Enzo and Cass. Dillinger grabs a wristlock on Cass to start and is quickly sent to the corner by the throat. Cass: “How YOU doin?” Jordan comes in with a belly to back suplex for two and the pretty boys take over on Big Cass. We hit a reverse chinlock from Jordan as the fans are wanting Enzo.

Cass gets caught in a top wristlock from Tye but Cass blocks a stomp. The hot tag brings in Amore who gets his head superkicked into the third row. Tye doesn’t cover for some reason though and brings Jordan back in. Cass dives into the corner to block a charge aimed at at Enzo, followed by a big boot to Jordan’s face, giving Enzo the pin at 5:23.

Rating: D+. Did the pretty boys turn heel and no one told me? They certainly were wrestling like heels in this one and it really didn’t work for them. Cass and Amore are a solid oddball tag team though and Cass is finding his niche as the guy who gets the hot tag and cleans house.

We see the tournament brackets.

Amore/Cassady

Mojo Rawley/Bull Dempsey
Vaudevillains

Sami Zayn/???
Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Sin Cara/Kalisto
Wesley Blake/Buddy Murphy

Sami Zayn is in the back and says his assigned tag partner isn’t medically cleared (no name is given) when Gabriel and Kidd come in to remind him of the time Kidd walked out on Sami in a tag match against Ascension. Zayn offers to beat them both tonight when Adam Rose comes up and offers to be Sami’s partner. The fact that Sami is wearing an Axl Rose shirt is purely a coincidence I’m sure. Sami sucks Rose’s lollipop.

CJ Parker vs. Xavier Woods

Parker says that the signs he carries are a social movement. Woods is in his traditional clothes and hasn’t put on the white suit yet. It’s a brawl to start and a clothesline puts Parker on the floor. Back in and Parker avoids a charge, sending Woods shoulder first into the post. We come back from a quick break with Parker getting two off a senton backsplash.

A running double knee in the corner sets up a top rope ax handle for two on Woods. We hit the chinlock on Xavier but he blocks a second backsplash with some knees. Woods comes back with some strikes and a high cross body. A running low Downward Spiral gets two on Parker and the Honor Roll clothesline gets the same.

Woods goes to the top rope and walks down a bit before diving four fifths of the way across the ring for a splash. Parker was so far across the ring that he could have put his foot on the opposite ropes. For some reason that only gets two and Parker comes back with a kind of Death Valley Driver for the pin at 8:12.

Rating: C+. I can’t believe it but there are a few things to talk about here. First and foremost, why would you have Woods bust out a big move like that and have it only get two? It looked awesome but instead the match ends a few seconds later. Second, why did the announcers keep calling it an elbow? This isn’t one that you can really call anything other than a splash but Riley insisted it was an elbow. The match was good, but at the end of the day I have no interest in either of these guys.

Tyler Breeze is going to cash in his title shot against Adrian Neville. No date is specified but this sounded like an announcement.

Bayley vs. Eva Marie

Eva comes out on a podium like a sculpture. Makes sense for her. Cue the You Can’t Wrestle chants as they circle each other to start. We get the far better “BAYLEY’S GONNA HUG YOU” chant a few seconds later as Bayley takes Eva down to the mat and rides her for a bit before they roll around for some cradles. Eva gets two off a snap suplex but Bayley takes her down and hammers away. A running elbow in the corner sets up the Belly To Bayley for the pin on Eva at 3:18.

Rating: D. Eva looks good in the outfits but it’s clear that she isn’t anything in the ring. Like, she’s making Nikki Bella look like a master right now. To be fair though, ring time is the only thing that’s going to help her at this point so even a quick match like this one is going to help her.

Tag Team Tournament First Round: Sami Zayn/Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel

Even the announcers dance during Rose’s entrance in a funny bit. Kidd grabs a headlock on Sami to start but Zayn comes back with some very fast armdrags. Rose comes in for a staredown with Kidd and a little spank to Tyson. Kidd heads outside for a meeting with Gabriel, earning Justin a spank of his own. Things finally get serious as Rose gets beaten down in the corner.

Gabriel kicks him in the back for two but Rose comes back with a spinebuster for a near fall of his own. Kidd helps put Rose in the Tree of Woe for a stomping and we take a break. Back with Kidd holding a chinlock on Rose and tagging in Justin to stomp away. The double teaming continues, including a low dropkick from Gabriel for two.

A belly to back suplex gets the same but Kidd’s springboard elbow drop hits knees. I still think that would do more damage to Rose than Tyson but whatever. The hot tag brings in Sami to clean house, including the big flip dive to take out both villains. Rose goes up and hits a flip dive of his own. Back in and the Helluva Kick nails Gabriel for the pin at 9:48.

Rating: C-. That was….long. It was a lot of Rose getting beaten on before we hit the tag to Sami for the interesting part. Zayn really needs to get back to the underdog blood feuds that made him so popular here in NXT, but that might be where they’re going with him in the tournament.

Overall Rating: D+. What the heck has happened to NXT? They went from the can’t miss show of the week to a pretty dull hour of TV. Having so much time between the big shows is killing it as Breeze has been #1 contender for ten weeks now and we still haven’t heard a date for his title shot. The matches were mostly decent but the stories just aren’t doing it for me as it’s basically Neville waiting for Breeze and Ascension beating up everyone in sight while laughing at the pathetic challengers. This show needs a shot in the arm, but all the stars they have waiting to debut could be the answer they need.

Results
Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore b. Jason Jordan/Tye Dillinger – Amore pinned Jordan after a big boot from Cassady
CJ Parker b. Xavier Woods – Death Valley Driver
Bayley b. Eva Marie – Belly To Bayley
Adam Rose/Sami Zayn b. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel – Helluva Kick to Gabriel

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Smackdown
Date: August 8, 2014
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re continuing to Summerslam and the main story continues to be Stephanie vs. Brie. With Cena and Bray gone, there really isn’t much of interest on the shows. Thankfully we do have something to look forward to tonight as Ambrose gets to pick his stipulation for the match against Rollins at Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Ambrose to select his stipulation for the match at Summerslam. Ambrose talks about how the Authority thought they had a plan but they found out you can’t plan for insanity. Dean pulls out a list of options for the match: Cole Miner’s Glove, Alligators Around The Ring, JBL’s Hat On A Pole, Fight in the Parking Lot, Boxing, Good Housekeeping, Loser Washes HHH’s Car match (“But Seth already does that”) but all of those are off the table.

This brings out Rollins who wants Dean to just get to the chase. Dean introduces Seth as Mr. Money in the Bank and suggests the briefcase get a good detailing. Seth says Dean thinks with his heart instead of his head, but it’s only going to get Dean so far. In two weeks, everyone is going to get to see the end of Dean Ambrose, “on the WWE Network for the low low price of $9.99.”

Dean asks if they’re going to pay to see Seth run again. Not this time actually, because it’s going to be a lumberjack match. Seth says he’s not going anywhere at Summerslam because he still has the briefcase, and that makes him the future of this company. As for Ambrose’s future, he has a match of his own, against Randy Orton. We get a clip of Orton attacking Reigns and Dean seems pleased.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Mark Henry/Big Show

Henry and Axel get things going with Curtis bailing out to the floor. Ryback comes in and tells Henry to hit him so they shove each other around a few times. Ryback shoves him down and goes after the leg as the heels start tagging to stay on the leg. For some reason Ryback tries a powerbomb but is backdropped with ease. Big Show comes in to clean house and it’s a World’s Strongest Slam to Ryback and a chokeslam to Axel for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. So which monster turns on the other first to set up a huge showdown on pay per view while the fans get nachos? This is the fallback option for all of the big monsters and it gets very tiring after awhile. Also, nice job of building up Ryback and Axel so you can job them out over and over.

Ziggler is with the Divas and Rosebuds as they watch Rollins’ briefcase get destroyed. Rollins comes up and they insult each other a bit before making a match between the two of them for later.

Network ad.

Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

This time Damien is a border patrol agent, which is probably a jab at the immigration issues down in Texas. Sandow easily takes him down and drops the Wind-Up Elbow for two but Sin Cara’s handspring elbow gets the same. Damien comes back with an Edge-O-Matic for two but Cara takes him down with ease and hits the Swanton for the pin at 2:02.

Six minute video on Lesnar vs. Cena from Raw.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rollins quickly takes him down and puts on a chinlock followed by Three Amigos for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until Dolph fights out with a jawbreaker. The Fameasser is countered though as Ziggler is sent out to the floor. We take a break and come back with Seth kicking Ziggler in the face for two before heading outside for more right hands to the head. Ziggler fights out of yet another chinlock and gets two off a neckbreaker.

A small package gets the same and Dolph grabs the running DDT for a third near fall in a row. Rollins counters the Zig Zag but gets sent out to the apron. Dolph avoids a springboard dive and grabs the Fameasser for two. Seth throws him shoulder first into the post to put Ziggler on the floor again before sending him into the barricade. Back in and the Curb Stomp is good for the pin at 10:55 shown of 13:25.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it was just a step above a squash with Ziggler having almost no chance for the entire match. Ziggler’s start and stop push continues as he gets to run circles around Miz one week then gets screwed out of a win against Bo Dallas and now gets beaten by Rollins.

Randy Orton says Ambrose will find out who the truly sadistic one is in WWE.

Paige vs. Natalya

Natalya quickly takes her down into a Sharpshooter but Paige crawls out to the floor. The Paige Turner on the floor has Natalya mostly out but she still grabs a rollup for two. The PTO makes Natalya quit at 2:09.

Rusev vs. Big E.

The Bulgarian hammers away with shots to the face and a kick to Big E.’s chest. Big E. tries his Rock Bottom out of the corner but gets elbowed in the face. The belly to belly puts Rusev down but he misses the Warrior Splash. A kick to the face sets up the Accolade to make Big E. tap at 1:51. Speaking of pushes disappearing, have Woods, Kingston and Big E. appeared together on a major show since uniting?

Lana does her usual while the hold is still on.

Jericho talks about how he’s going to rid the WWE of the disease that is Bray Wyatt. The antidote is spelled Y2J and he’s going to shove the buzzards down Bray’s throat.

After another Network plug, we get a recap of Brie vs. Stephanie on Raw.

Dean Ambrose vs. Randy Orton

Randy goes right for the bad arm as you would expect but Dean hammers him into the corner, also as you would expect. Ambrose takes him down into a headlock and hammers away with right hands to the head. Randy is sent outside and nailed with a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Randy holding an armbar before sending Ambrose chest first into the buckle. The bad arm is bent around the ropes so Dean fights back with right hands to the jaw.

Randy takes him right back down by the arm but gets caught in a quick DDT. Dirty Deeds is countered but Randy is sent out to the floor. Another suicide dive is countered by a forearm to the head and Ambrose is sent into the steps. The Elevated DDT is reversed with a backdrop over the top and now the suicide dive connects. Back in and the Rebound Clothesline drops Orton. Dirty Deeds connects but Rollins comes in for the DQ at 9:40 shown of 13:10.

Rating: C+. This is interesting as the spoilers said this was nearly a thirty minute match, so either the commercial cut out a lot of things or the reviewer couldn’t tell time. The match was nowhere near the match they had on Raw a few weeks back but at least Ambrose didn’t do a job here. It’s decent enough, but lumberjacks don’t do much for me.

The brawl is on until Orton takes Dean down with an RKO. Rollins pours a soda on Ambrose’s face and shouts that this isn’t a game. A Curb Stomp ends Ambrose to close the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was just ok but it gave Ambrose vs. Rollins a focus that it hasn’t had in awhile. Other than that though, the lack of star power is really hurting things. Thankfully Monday is the go home show and the main event guys will be back. The Australian tour didn’t help things either but it’s something you have to deal with. This wasn’t a bad show but it was a totally meaningless two hours of television.

Results
Big Show/Mark Henry b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Chokeslam to Axel
Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – Swanton Bomb
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb Stomp
Paige b. Natalya – PTO
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Dean Ambrose b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Summerslam 2005
Date: August 21, 2005
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 18,156
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman

Tonight is the first show in a long time with a special attraction main event. Tonight’s main event is the returning Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels in a match billed as legend vs. icon. Other than that we have the first Summerslam with the new generation on top with John Cena defending against Chris Jericho and Batista defending against JBL. Let’s get to it.

The Navy color guard presents the flag and Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem. She may stumble over a lot of announcements but she can sing the heck out of that song.

The opening video is about Cena vs. Bischoff with Eric’s surrogate Chris Jericho. This would be the 185^th attempt to recreate Austin vs. Vince, each one less successful than the previous. It covers the rest of the matches too, focusing on Hogan vs. Shawn of course. The theme song is Remedy by Seether so we have another good song this year.

Never mind as the main song that will be played in the arena is some stupid hip hop song.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.

When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.

Vickie Guerrero, not yet a character, begs Eddie to calm down about Mysterio and Rey’s son Dominic. Eddie says Vickie doesn’t get it but she tries to talk him down. He interprets this as Vickie thinking he can’t beat Rey and throws her out.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Edge. Matt dated Lita in real life but Edge stole her away (both on screen and in real life) while Matt was out with a knee injury. Hardy was released from WWE while Edge and Lita became an on screen couple. This led to an AWESOME angle where Matt, who had been rehired VERY quietly, showed up on Raw and attacked Edge from behind. He did it again but was arrested, shouting that he’d be at Ring of Honor. Matt was finally brought back full time, setting up a white hot feud with Edge. They made the feud feel as real as any I can remember in a long time before it was to a degree.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

This is during Lita’s early heel phase and DANG does it work for her. The fight starts on the floor with Matt in control before heading inside for a bell. Hardy grabs a choke but Edge gets into the ropes. Back to the floor for a bit before Edge gets in a right hand inside to take over. Edge spears him off the apron and out to the floor in the spot made much more famous against Mick Foley.

Back in and Matt hits some HARD lefts and rights before going into the corner to rain them down. Edge steps forward and drops Matt face first on the post (with Matt clearly pulling himself forward to hit it correctly), busting Hardy open. Edge goes after the cut….and the match is stopped in less than five minutes. We get a good shot of Matt’s head and the cut is shown to be just a step above nothing, making this ridiculous. I’m guessing the idea was due to a head injury (not a real one mind you) but it makes Matt look like a complete joke.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted but the length and ending crippled it. Matt was on fire coming in but he would be made to look like the jobbiest jobber of all time during the feud with Edge. Eventually Edge would send him to Raw and keep Lita, ultimately winning the world title in a few months. This was more or less it for Matt as far as being a big deal.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio. Oh this is a fun one. They were tag team champions in the spring but Eddie started to get paranoid that Rey was better than him. Rey beat him at Wrestlemania in a friendly match and Eddie was set off. He turned on Rey and started going after Rey’s 8 year old son Dominic.

Uncle Eddie said he had a story to tell Dominic but Rey kept stopping Eddie from telling it. They had a match at Great American Bash where if Eddie won he could tell the story but if not he had to stay quiet. Eddie lost, but told the story anyway: he’s Dominic’s actual father but gave him to Rey because Eddie was in no condition to be a father. Then he wanted custody of Dominic, so there was one solution.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Here’s the solution: “The following contest is a ladder match for the custody of Dominic!” That line summed up the entire feud and is a famous line today. Eddie looks at Rey to start before kneeing him in the ribs to get things going. A hard belly to back suplex puts Rey down but he comes back with a monkey flip to send Guerrero to the floor. Rey is sent straight into the steps and then the ladder as Eddie maintains his early control.

Eddie slides in the ladder and goes up but a springboard dropkick takes Guerrero down. Another ladder is brought in but Rey dropkicks it into Eddie, sending both the ladder and Guerrero to the floor. A great looking springboard seated senton takes Eddie down but Rey is too banged up to immediately climb. They slug it out on the ladder with Eddie taking over but they botch the first big spot of the match: Eddie tries a sunset bomb but Rey falls off a second late, meaning he falls on Eddie instead of with him.

Back up and the ladder crushes Rey in the corner before Eddie brings in a second ladder. Rey is sandwiched between the ladders so Eddie can hit a slingshot hilo in a painful looking spot. Guerrero goes up but Rey sets the other ladder up like a ramp to get to the top. Eddie is backdropped onto the ladder ramp, sending both ladders and both wrestlers crashing down to the mat. Rey goes up one more time but has the ladder dropkicked out from under him in the second crash in 90 seconds.

Eddie lays a ladder on the top rope and drops a charging Rey chest first onto the steel. Guerrero goes up but Dominic gets in and shakes the ladder to stop him. Eddie gets in his face and shouts that he’s the new daddy but Rey stops him from punching the kid. Mysterio moves the ladder against the ropes and sends Eddie into it for the 619. Rey Drops the Dime on the ladder onto Eddie and goes up but gets caught in an electric chair. As they’re about to fall, Rey spins around and slips down Guerrero into a powerbomb.

Rey slowly climbs again but Guerrero kicks the ladder away and catches the falling Rey in another powerbomb. In a smart move, Eddie puts the ladder over Rey before climbing up and grabbing the briefcase. Since he’s a heel in a ladder match though, he takes FOREVER to work the simple clip, allowing Rey to kick the ladder over and pull Eddie down. Rey can’t follow up though and gets caught in Three Amigos with the third on the ladder. Eddie goes up again and here’s Vickie, which makes me think the slow climb was a missed spot where she was supposed to come out. She shoves him down and Rey gets up the ladder for the win.

Rating: B-. This was good but the botches hurt it a lot. The other major problem here is the whole thing is so silly. It’s really hard to get into a match with the prize being a custody of a kid. Are we supposed to believe that Eddie is going to win and presumably abuse the world’s stupidest looking eight year old? I’ve seen far worse but this wasn’t a great match by any stretch. Eddie of course would be gone in about two and a half months but he would beat Rey in a cage match in about ten days.

Rey hits Guerrero with the briefcase post match.

Jericho says the time is now for him to become WWE Champion. After Cena loses tonight, he’s nothing more than the flavor of the month. I mean, Jericho beat Rock and Austin in one night to become the first Undisputed Champion. Tonight Jericho will win the WWE Championship and Eric Bischoff can have a champion to be proud of.

Eugene vs. Kurt Angle

Yep he’s still around. This is for Angle’s gold medal and Eugene has Christy Hemme as a cheerleader. Eugene won some Olympic challenge by lasting three minutes against Angle, so this is no time limit. They really couldn’t find something better for Kurt? Angle easily takes him to the mat to start but Eugene comes back with a spinebuster to LOUD booing. Angle takes his head off on the People’s Elbow attempt for two and the fans go nuts. A BIG release German suplex puts Angle down and it’s time for some knees to the face.

Kurt sends him into the buckle but Eugene Hulks Up and does his goofy punching and a Rock Bottom for two. A Stunner gets the same and Eugene is pulls invisible straps down to set up an ankle lock on Angle. Kurt easily gets up and hits the Angle Slam followed by the ankle lock for the submission.

Rating: D. They booked a five minute squash at Summerslam for KURT ANGLE??? Seriously? This was a horribly dull match and Eugene had no business being in there. He barely even acts slow anymore and is really just Hacksaw Jim Duggan minus the patriotism. Thankfully Kurt would move on to face Cena for three months straight after this.

Angle stands on a chair and has the medal placed around his neck.

The Divas are in bikinis and washing a limo. It has the Presidential logo on the door and Vince comes out. “Hey, why not?” THANKFULLY this went nowhere.

Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

Wrestlemania rematch and I think that’s all you need to know. Orton immediately bails to the floor before being slapped right in the face. Taker misses a right hand in the corner but runs Orton over with a shoulder block. Off to a headlock on Randy followed by a big boot, leaving Orton with a dazed look in his eyes. Taker grabs a key lock but Orton armdrags him off the top to break up Old School. Orton hits a HARD right hand to the face, earning him a launch into the corner and rapid punches from the dead man.

Orton gets up a boot in the corner but charges out straight into a big boot for two. The jumping clothesline puts Orton down for two more and a running knee in the corner has Randy in big trouble. Randy manages to dodge a running big boot in the corner but can barely follow up due to the beating he’s taken. As Taker gets back in from the apron Orton gets in a shot to the leg to take over.

Orton cannonballs down onto the leg and wraps it around the post before putting on a basic leg lock in the ring. A knee drop to the face gets two before Orton takes him into the corner to wrap the leg around the ropes. Randy powerslams him down for two and it’s off to a leg lace. Taker fights out of it and rams Orton’s knee into the mat but Randy comes right back with a chop block to the front of the leg. More cannonballs onto the knee have Taker in bigger trouble but the big man kicks him out to the floor.

The legdrop across the apron has Orton in more trouble and Taker does a one legged Old School. Uh Dead Man, there’s more to selling than just limping before you do a move with no issues. Taker hits Snake Eyes but he can’t run fast enough for the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO is countered but Taker has the tombstone countered twice and Orton hits his backbreaker for two. Taker rolls through a high cross body and hits the chokeslam but a “fan” comes in and the distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin. It’s Bob Orton (Randy’s dad) of course.

Rating: C+. This was ok but the ending was stupid. It doesn’t hold a candle to their Wrestlemania match but the rematch inside the Cell at Armageddon was WAY better. Bob Orton didn’t add much to this feud and Orton wasn’t ready to make the jump to the full time main event scene just yet. The match wasn’t bad or anything though.

Some big shot Republicans are here.

We recap Jericho vs. Cena. As mentioned there isn’t much to talk about here. Bischoff doesn’t like Cena and has Jericho to take the title away from him. This is Cena’s first feud as champion on Raw. This gets the music video treatment.

Chris Jericho vs. John Cena

They stare each other down to start before trading chops to Jericho’s advantage. A snap suplex puts Cena down but Jericho’s springboard cross body misses Cena entirely and Chris hits the floor. Back in and Cena hits a running elbow into the face but charges into a dropkick to slow things down again. A suplex gets two for the challenger and he follows it up with a dropkick to the jaw. Jericho sends him out to the floor and dropkicks him off the apron for good measure.

Cena gets choked with a microphone cord before being thrown inside to be beaten up even more. A superplex has Cena in trouble but it shook Jericho up too badly to cover. Cena starts pounding back but misses a flying shoulder, allowing Jericho to try the Walls, only to be kicked out to the floor. As Jericho gets back in, Cena drops a top rope leg onto Chris’ head for a close two count. The FU is countered into a DDT and both guys are down.

The fans are split here as Jericho chokes away on the ropes. Cena is in trouble but he comes back with a HARD clothesline to put both guys down again. They slug it out with Cena taking over and hitting his usual finishing sequence, including the spinning powerbomb but as he loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Jericho counters into the Walls. After a long crawl, Cena finally makes it to the rope to escape. A belly to back superplex gets two for Jericho but as they get back up, he charges right into the FU to retain the title for Cena.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad here but it didn’t really click for the most part. This was an off time for Jericho as he didn’t fit as a heel because he was more or less the same guy he had always been but he was supposed to be bad now. Cena was starting to click as a main event guy though and that’s a really good sign, but the feud with Bischoff didn’t do anything for him as everyone saw it for what it was.

Chicago gets Wrestlemania 22.

We recap JBL vs. Batista. Basically it was supposed to be Muhammad Hassan taking the title off Big Dave but there was the whole terrorist angle (Hassan had terrorist looking guys attack Undertaker on the same day as the 7/7 London bombings and the backlash got Hassan released) so JBL was thrown in. This is a rematch after the Great American Bash where JBL won by DQ, so tonight it’s no holds barred.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

JBL dollars rain from the sky before we get going. The fight starts in the aisle and a belt shot to the head has JBL in trouble. They head over to some of the equipment with JBL being sent into various metal objects. Batista is whipped into a steel case and they brawl through the crowd to ringside where the champion spears JBL through the barricade. A dazed Batista is sent into the post and we finally get inside the ring.

JBL pounds him down into the corner and whips Batista with the timekeeper’s belt. The choke with the belt goes on longer than any human would be alive but Batista fights out and whips JBL with the belt as well. Batista hits the corner shoulders but charges into a boot and JBL’s Clothesline is good for two. JBL brings in the steps and loads up a powerbomb off of them, only to be backdropped down instead. Batista hits the spinebuster and the Batista Bomb but he doesn’t cover. Instead he picks up JBL again and powerbombs him onto the steps for the emphatic pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all and the ending was never in doubt. It’s just over nine minutes and about a minute of that was spent on JBL choking Big Dave. JBL was the main event jobber at this point which meant he was ok at best. Batista was still the biggest star in the company at this point but Cena was rising fast.

We recap Hogan vs. Michaels. Hogan was inducted into the Hall of Fame and the fans chanted one more match. HBK was dealing with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari and begged Hogan to join him for one more match. They teamed up for the win at Backlash and became a semi-regular tag team until the 4^th of July when Shawn superkicked Hogan after a win. Shawn accused Hogan of living off a reputation for twenty years, setting up a showdown here tonight. Shawn turned heel for the build because goodness knows Hogan isn’t getting booed on his nostalgia tour.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hulk Hogan

Michaels cools his heels on the floor before the bell as the fans are way into this. Hogan easily wins the first lockup and shoves Shawn down a few more times. The fans tell Shawn that he screwed Bret as he hooks a headlock to take over for a few moments. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn on the floor and Michaels stalls again. Back in and Shawn chops away before being whipped onto the top rope for some punts to the ribs. Shawn is crotched on the top and punched in the face for his efforts.

Michaels finally wises up and thumbs Hulk in the eye, only to have Hogan come back with a backdrop. Hogan sends him to the floor and launches him back inside before walking into some right hands and chops. Then comes the mistake as Shawn slaps him in the face, cuing the Hulk Up. Shawn slaps him again….and it seems to work. He fires off more chops but gets sent into the corner for the Flair Flip and a big right hand to send Shawn to the floor.

Hogan drops him on the announce table and pounds away with those “ham-like” right hands. Shawn is posted but Hogan breaks the count at nine. Hogan tries to ram him in again but Shawn slips off and posts Hulk instead. The bald one is cut open and Shawn pounds away at the cut. They fall to the mat with Shawn staying on the assault and the cut being in such a goofy straight line that you almost have to chuckle.

Off to a sleeper with Hogan’s blood GUSHING onto Shawn’s arm. Hogan’s arm only drops twice and he comes out of it with a belly to back suplex. Both guys are down and Hogan looks very confused. Back up and there’s the forearm into the nipup but the big elbow misses. There’s the finger point but another forearm breaks up the big boot. The referee is bumped though just before Shawn nips up again. Shawn goes to the wrong corner for the elbow so instead he puts Hogan in the Sharpshooter as a second referee slides in.

The hold stays on for a LONG time but Shawn has it on so badly that it’s easily believed. Hogan makes the rope so Shawn loads it up again, only to be kicked off and into another referee. With no referee, Shawn hits Hogan low and grabs a chair. A bad looking shot to the head puts Hogan down and there’s the big elbow. It didn’t work for Savage in 89 and it’s not going to work here. Sweet Chin Music gets two and I think you can fill in the blanks here. One Hulk Up, big boot (with infamous overselling that would make Rock say “DUDE tone it WAY down) and a legdrop later and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is your standard Hogan match but that’s not exactly the best thing to see in 2005. It’s a cool idea for a match in theory but it didn’t quite hold up in actuality. Shawn had to tone his main event style WAY down to let Hogan keep up with him and it was all nostalgia after that. I’m ok with the booking here as Shawn didn’t need the win at all and was the guy to put over everyone in his return so putting over Hogan is fine. The match is worth seeing for historical significance but not much more.

Shawn and Hogan make up and massive posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s not exactly a bad show, but there’s nothing here that you should go out of your way to see at all. This was a bad time for the company as they were in a big transition to the new stuff but the new guys weren’t ready yet. That leaves an uninteresting show with matches that were easy to predict. It’s not terrible by any means and there are FAR worse shows out there, but this isn’t worth seeing other than the main event for history.

Ratings Comparison

Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Matt Hardy vs. Edge

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kurt Angle vs. Eugene

Original: A+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: C+

John Cena vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C

Redo: C

Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: D

Redo: D+

Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

The Eugene match was because I liked seeing Eugene get beaten up. The overall rating doesn’t even make bad sense.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/08/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2005-shawn-vs-hogan-and-cena-vs-batista/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

Summerslam 2004
Date: August 15, 2004
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 17,640
Announcers: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Tazz

A year has passed but not a lot has really changed. Evolution still runs Raw but Benoit has jumped shows and is the World Champion. Over on Smackdown we have Angle in another rematch from Wrestlemania against Eddie Guerrero, although not for the title this time. John Bradshaw Layfield, now a businessman instead of a bar fighter, beat Guerrero for the title over the summer and gets to defend against Undertaker tonight. HHH on the other hand is fighting a slow guy named Eugene at the second biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is the WWE Olympic Games. It’s definitely more on the cute side than serious, but that could be said about a lot of Summerslams.

The theme song is Summertime Blues by Rush so we get some good music. The video focuses on almost all of the big matches but doesn’t give a ton of backstory.

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

This was when the Dudley Boyz were under Spike’s (Cruiserweight Champion) leadership and going to war with the Cruiserweight division for lack of regular sized tag teams to feud against. Spike recently beat Rey for the title so this is technically two feuds combined into one since London and Kidman are Smackdown tag champions. Kidman fires off forearms to D-Von to start before taking him down via an armdrag. Off to London with some more forearms and a nice dropkick for two.

Bubba cheats like a true Bully was and the bad guys take over. Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp to the ribs as the fans want tables. Bubba comes in and suplexes London down while calling him a piece of crap and threatening to beat his face in. You can’t go wrong with a loudmouthed New Yorker who can fight. Off to D-Von for a chinlock as Cole is already at two vintages less than four minutes into the match. London ducks a Bubba clothesline to knock D-Von to the floor.

An enziguri puts Bubba down and there’s the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey gets two beat on Spike in an attempt to get revenge for being put through a table. Dropping the Dime gets two on Spike and a top rope rana gets the same. Rey hits a springboard seated senton to Rey and a big facejam to D-Von. Kidman tags himself in and hits a jumping back elbow off the top (love that move) to Spike.

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here but it might have been better to split this up and give us two title matches instead. Still though, starting things off with a fast paced tag match is always a good idea as it sets the pace for the rest of the show. The good guys’ high spots were more than enough to fire up the crowd and the show is off to a fast start, which is the goal of an opener.

We recap Matt Hardy vs. Kane. Matt’s girlfriend Lita slept with Kane to keep him from destroying Matt but got pregnant as a result. The solution? A match to determine who Lita has to marry of course. What else would it have been?

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

We get to see Lita in something resembling a dress which is a rare visual. This is called a Til Death Do Us Part match which I guess is similar to the Love Her Or Leave Her match in 1999, but I’m pretty sure it’s a standard one on one match. Matt jumps Kane from the opening bell and hits a running clothesline in the corner. The Side Effect gets two and kane is sent to the apron. A middle rope Fameasser brings Kane back inside and a nearly botched tornado DDT gets two.

Matt pounds on Kane in the corner as this is completely one sided so far. As soon as I say that, Kane comes back with a huge uppercut to lay Matt out. Kane chokes away both on the mat and in the corner before staring at Lita. Kane misses a charge and gets low bridged to the floor so Matt can hit a big dive. A Twist of Fate on the floor has Kane in trouble but there’s no count on the floor. Kane sits up and gets back in at nine so Matt goes back to the stomping.

Lita slides in the ring bell and distracts the referee long enough for Matt to knock Kane silly for two. Back up and Hardy has to fight out of a chokeslam bid but gets caught by a big boot to the face. Kane goes up top but gets crotched, sending Matt up for a top rope DDT. You don’t go up top with Kane though as he grabs Matt by the throat and a top rope chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: C. This was short but fun while it lasted. Matt was working hard out there but he was just up against too much. The top rope chokeslam looked good too with Matt bouncing off the canvas. Kane was good as a ruthless monster like this and the evil smiles helped a lot. Lita’s early days as a heel were fun give what was coming for her in the coming years.

Randy Ortno says tonight is about the rise of a new star, but someone stops him in his tracks. John Cena shows up and takes the spotlight from Orton and offers to hook Orton up with his own merchandise. Cena polls the audience and they don’t think he’s winning the title tonight. He’s still in the full on rapper mode but he’s clearly working as hard as he can at it which is what gets you noticed. Orton doesn’t care what the people think because he’s winning the title tonight.

Booker T. vs. John Cena

Booker is US Champion but this is the first match in a best of 5 series for the title, meaning the belt isn’t on the line here. Cena won the title at Wrestlemania but was stripped of it by then GM Kurt Angle with Booker winning it a few weeks later. They slug it out in the middle of the ring to start until Cena gets two off a hard clothesline. Booker elbows out of a hammerlock and chops away but another clothesline puts him down.

Cena hits the Throwback for two but Booker crotches him on the top and knocks Cena out to the floor to take over. Back in and Booker fires off a hook kick to the jaw and drops a knee to the head. The side kick (called a spin kick by Cole despite a lack of spinning) puts Cena down and it’s off to a quickly broken camel clutch. Booker stops Cena’s comeback and it’s off to a chinlock. Cena fights up and gets two off a quick small package before avoiding the ax kick. John makes his comeback with his usual array of strikes, only to get caught in a facejam, setting up the Spinarooni…..but Booker walks into the FU for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much and it’s kind of stupid to have the first match of a best of five series here. The whole thing wouldn’t end until October, dragging the idea out WAY too long. It wasn’t bad but this felt like it could have been on any given episode of Smackdown. Also did we really need to have the champion lose clean in less than seven minutes?

Teddy Long, still the Smackdown GM, brags about the best of 5 series idea to himself. Eric Bischoff comes in (Teddy: “Hey it’s the head cracker that runs Raw.”) and laughs at Smackdown for having so many GM’s. He thinks Teddy will be out of a job by Survivor Series. This is being written nearly nine years later and Teddy is still kicking around on Smackdown and has been GM on and off the entire time. Anyway Long says he’d love to take Bischoff’s nephew Eugene to Smackdown and making him a huge star. Apparently that offer is good for anyone sick of Bischoff’s nonsense.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Edge is defending and Batista has been destroying everyone left and right leading up to this with a big running clothesline. Batista jumps Edge during his entrance but Jericho is quickly on Big Dave. The fans are surprisingly behind Jericho despite us being in Edge’s hometown. Batista starts firing off the shoulder blocks in the corner and catches a cross body in a powerslam to put Jericho down. Edge comes in just in time to break up the Batista Bomb with Jericho going to the floor.

Batista drops Edge face first on the buckle with snake eyes but Jericho breaks up the big clothesline. Edge dropkicks Batista to the floor……and is booed out of the building. Odd indeed. He joins the challengers on the floor and sends Batista shoulder first into the steps as the fans say they want Christian. Instead they get a battle of the Canadians in the ring with Jericho being the HUGE favorite. Edge takes over and the booing begins again.

Jericho counters the Edgecution into a Walls attempt but Edge counters that into a small package for two. Edge rolls through a cross body for two but now the Walls go on full. Jericho pulls him away from the ropes and Edge is in big trouble but Batista makes the last second save. He sends Jericho into the post but gets caught by a tornado DDT from Edge for two.

Chris is back up just in time to break up the spear to Batista, because why would you want the monster taken down? Batista hits the spinebuster on Jericho for two as Edge saves. He escapes a spinebuster from Batista as well before getting two on a rollup to Jericho. Jericho makes another comeback on Edge with the fans entirely behind him. The bulldog takes Edge down but he has to dropkick Batista down, allowing Edge to spear his fellow Canadian down to retain.

Rating: C-. This came off like a forced heel turn for Edge and the full turn would be coming very soon. Jericho being the big favorite was only somewhat surprising as he was a native countryman but you would expect Edge to have been a bit popular there. The match was nothing special but the idea was to keep Batista down which is a nice rub for him and his time was coming soon.

We recap Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle. Eddie beat Angle at Wrestlemania to retain the title and then Angle’s neck legitimately gave out so he was made GM. Angle then made the decision that cost Eddie the title (the right call actually) and then screwed him over in the rematch, setting up the second match here.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Technical stuff to start with Eddie actually surviving on the mat. The fans are almost entirely behind Angle but it’s Eddie going for the ankle. When that gets him nowhere it’s off to a headlock instead but you know Angle isn’t going to stand for that very long. He hooks a keylock on Eddie’s arm but Eddie gets out with a fireman’s carry. Off to an armbar by Guerrero but Angle spins out, only to be caught in the ankle lock in the middle of the ring.

Kurt finally rolls over and rakes the eyes to escape before hooking an Angle Slam for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock is locked on Eddie, only to have him counter into another one of his own. Kurt counters THAT into his second ankle lock but Guerrero makes it to the ropes. Angle’s heavy Luther Reigns gets in a cheap shot and Kurt goes right back to the hold but Eddie makes another rope.

Back in the middle of the ring and Angle hooks a very modified STF as the mat work continues nonstop. Kurt goes to a regular leg lock and starts taking off Eddie’s boot which is what cost him the Wrestlemania match. Off to a chinlock with a leg trap but Eddie fights up and gets a jawbreaker and an Angle Slam of his own. Yeah Kurt LOVED the whole stealing finishers bit.

Back up and Eddie fires away as his boot is almost off. The Three Amigos put Angle down but he pops up and runs the corner to suplex Guerrero down before the frog splash. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT but the frog splash misses. Now the Angle Slam connects for two (duh) and the fans are behind Guerrero. Angle rips Eddie’s boot off and the ankle lock goes on again, but this time Eddie rolls through, sending Kurt into the referee.

A boot shot to the head puts down both Angle and Reigns but Eddie throws the boot down and drops to the mat like a good cheater. The frog splash gets two and the fans changes sides again. Eddie complains to the referee and the ankle lock goes on again, this time forcing the tap out.

Rating: B. This was entertaining but it felt like it skipped a few gears. The seven straight minutes of mat work were good but when you go from that into the traditional main event style it’s kind of a big jump. Angle looked good out there but Eddie really didn’t do much. It felt like we were just waiting on Angle to finally catch him and then he did to end the match.

We recap HHH vs. Eugene. Rock saved Eugene from an attack but Eugene said HHH was his favorite wrestler. HHH used this to his advantage and made Eugene an honorary member of Evolution. Flair: “It’ll kill our gimmick!” HHH said it was just to get the title back but Eugene wound up costing HHH his rematch against Benoit, leading to the Evolution beatdown. This led to HHH destroying Eugene’s friend William Regal, setting up HHH vs. Eugene tonight. You know, HHH, the multi-time world champion against a slow guy who learned to wrestle watching TV.

HHH vs. Eugene

They slug it out to start and HHH stomps him into the corner. Eugene comes back with an elbow to the face and a backdrop, sending HHH rolling to the floor. An ax handle off the apron puts HHH down and the booing begins. As in people are booing Eugene. This sounds like a good time for a sidebar.

For those of you that weren’t around in 2004, Eugene was easily the most over guy on the roster for a few weeks. I mean his music would play and the crowd would just explode, no matter what city they were in. Even I was a big fan of the guy. He was such a fun and innocent character that it was almost impossible to not like him. It was so goofy to see him doing Stunners and Rock Bottoms and stuff Junk Yard Dog did back in the day because it was like watching a five year old wrestle. Then one night he was shown in a gym beating William Regal in a chain wrestling contest, making him even more popular.

In other words, the Eugene character was a full on success. This is where WWE screwed everything up. Instead of just letting Eugene be what he was and make occasional appearances to pop the crowd (or open house show matches beating some annoying heel), they pushed it too far. The minute they put him in a story about the world title with main event level guys, it was all over.

At the end of the day, that’s just not what the people wanted Eugene to be. They wanted it to be fun and silly so they could have a good time with it, but WWE tried to make it serious, completely killing the joke. As soon as you tell fans that Eugene’s character has a problem, you’re no longer laughing at a guy who does goofy things but rather you’re laughing at a slow guy, which no one wants to do.

This lead to the fans not wanting to watch Eugene anymore, because he really was just a guy doing a bunch of random wrestling moves and had no business being at this level (Note that Nick Dinsmore, the guy that portrayed Eugene is a very talented wrestler. His character was what didn’t belong here, not Dinsmore himself. BIG difference). When you try to force the fans to like something in a way they don’t want to, it’s going to blow up in a hurry. The lesson to be learned: don’t make the audience go somewhere they don’t want to go, because at the end of the day they make the decisions, not the company.

So anyway HHH hides behind Lillian to get the advantage and rams Eugene into the barricade before heading back inside for some stomping. He loads up the announce table but Eugene suplexes him back in to block. Eugene pounds away back inside but HHH sends him to the floor. Back in and HHH hits some backbreakers after suckering Eugene in after faking an injury. Eugene comes back so HHH begs off again, only to be pulled into a Rock Bottom and a People’s Elbow, with the latter being pulled into a spinebuster from HHH.

They head outside again with HHH sending him into the steps, busting Eugene’s shoulder open. Back inside and HHH continues toying with him before hooking a sleeper. Eugene shakes his finger at two arm drops before powering up and pounding away. He Hulks Up, catches the boot and does the Austin version of the finger in the face before hitting a Stunner. Back to the floor (again?) and here’s Flair.

Eugene hits the big boot and legdrop for two but has to deck Flair. A Pedigree is countered into a catapult and Eugene hits one of his own but it’s Flair making the save. Flair trips Eugene and gets ejected, drawing out Regal to knock Flair out cold. The distraction lets HHH hit the Pedigree for the pin on Eugene.

Rating: D-. Let’s recap: it took fourteen minutes and help from Flair for HHH to beat a slow guy. On the other hand, we had to sit through fourteen minutes of HHH vs. a slow guy and HHH had to sell most of the offense. AT SUMMERSLAM! This was the death of the Eugene character, even though he would win the tag titles with Regal soon after this. Somehow he went on THREE MORE YEARS, which is remarkable after how stupid this match was.

Now let’s waste more time with Divas Dodgeball, which is exactly what it sounds like. This is taking place at a basketball practice facility so you know the live crowd is THRILED. It’s good looking girls basically in swimsuits and another team in uniforms. This is beneath me and that’s all there is to it. It’s the main roster Divas vs. the Diva Search girls and after about five minutes of intros we get to the two minute game. The Diva Search girls dominate and win.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

No real story here other than Taker has to get a title shot at one PPV a year. They quickly head to the floor and taker has to glare JBL’s goon Orlando Jordan down before punching the champion in the face. Back inside but JBL punches his way out of Old School. A neckbreaker puts Taker down and a side slam gets two. Jibbles hits a top rope shoulder for two more but Taker pulls him down with an armbar of all things.

Now Old School connects and a downward spiral gets two before Taker cranks on a triangle choke. Back up and they trade big boots but Taker has to knock Jordan off the apron. JBL takes him down and wraps the leg around the post before cracking the ankle with a chair. The bad knee is rammed into the announce table and we head back inside with JBL busting out a Robinsdale Crunch of all things.

Off to a side leg lock but Taker quickly counters into a half crab. Taker switches over to a knee bar and the fans are loudly booing. Back up and Taker punches him out to the floor with a big right hand going into JBL’s jaw. The fans want the Spanish table but get the apron leg drop and more standing around. Back in and JBL gets punched off the top, setting up an Undertaker superplex but JBL goes right back to the knee to take over. He tries a spinning toehold but gets caught by the throat.

Taker hits a spinebuster of all things for two and the fans are counting down to something. The jumping clothesline puts JBL down but Taker’s knee is bothering him. A Snake Eyes and big clothesline combination gets two on the champion. The chokeslam connects but JBL gets a shoulder up to surprise the crowd. Here comes the tombstone but Taker has to get rid of Jordan again, allowing the Clothesline to put the dead man down for two.

Now the fans are behind Undertaker as he pounds away in the corner. There goes the referee and a double big boot puts both guys down. Jordan throws in the title so JBL can knock Taker out but even with Jordan picking up the referee’s hand it’s only good for two. Another Jordan distraction lets JBL hit a second Clothesline for no cover. He pounds away in the corner and gets caught in the Last Ride but there’s STILL no referee. A delayed cover gets two and here’s Jordan for the 4^th time but Taker knocks the title out of his hand, decks JBL with it, and gets caught for the LAME disqualification.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse matches but the ending dragged it into the ground. This needed about five minutes taken away and added to the previous match to make the best out of everything. The match just went WAY too long and they had to repeat things so many times that the fans were chanting for the table instead of the match. This would be a repetitive pattern for JBL matches for the next eight months or so. Also what happened to Taker’s leg injury after about ten minutes in?

Taker chokeslams JBL through the roof of his limousine for revenge and to fill in some time. JBL does a stretcher job.

Wrestlemania 21 is in LA.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Chris Benoit

Orton won a battle royal a month ago to set this up. It’s weird to see Orton with hair, regular colored skin and few tattoos. The fans of course are more interested in telling Earl Hebner that he screwed Bret. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking it into the corner for a clean break. Benoit takes it to the mat and puts on a hard chinlock which gets him nowhere. Off to a test of strength with the taller Orton taking over, but Benoit comes back with pure leverage.

Benoit hooks an armbar as we reset a bit. Orton fights up and is armdragged right back down to the mat with Benoit cranking away on the arm. That goes nowhere so Benoit tries a Sharpshooter but Orton kicks him off and puts on one of his own. Benoit counters into his own Sharpshooter but it’s not on full, allowing Orton to get to the ropes. The Crossface doesn’t go on full either so they head to the floor where Benoit is whipped into the barricade.

There’s the Spanish table chant again as Benoit is sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Orton puts on an armbar of his own, showing some basic psychology. Orton drops him ribs first across the top rope and the fight moves to the outside with Benoit hitting a kind of DDT onto the apron to take over. Chris tries a suicide dive but rams his head into the barricade as Orton moves to the side. Back in and Orton wrenches the neck around before putting on something resembling a camel clutch.

Orton puts Benoit over his shoulder for a powerbomb but steps forward into a neckbreaker for two in a nice move. We hit the chinlock which is actually a smart move here. Back up and both guys hit cross bodies for a double knockout. They slug it out with the champion taking over via a series of forearms to the head. Orton blocks the rolling Germans but gets caught in a northern lights for two.

Randy fights off a superplex and hits a high cross body for two, crushing Benoit’s head again in the process. Chris ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex before putting on the Sharpshooter. Two arm drops later and Orton gets to the ropes, only to be caught in a long series of rolling Germans for two. Benoit loads up the Swan Dive but Orton gets up the knee, driving it right into Benoit’s jaw. That’s hard to watch today. Orton’s cover is countered into a bad looking Crossface but Orton rolls away to escape. Back up and another Crossface attempt is countered into the RKO out of nowhere for the pin and the title.

Rating: B+. This took a bit to get going but I really liked the ending with the RKO hitting from nowhere. It caught the technical master off guard which was the right idea given that Orton is younger and faster. It’s a good match and Benoit put Orton over clean right in the middle of the ring. You can’t ask for more than that.

Orton celebrates as Benoit leaves but Chris comes back and demands that Orton be a man and shake his hand.

Overall Rating: D. This show really wasn’t all that good. You have two good matches out of eight on the card (faces being 2-6 on this show didn’t help things) with Angle vs. Guerrero having been done better at Wrestlemania and Benoit vs. Orton being done again the next night on Raw. Undertaker vs. JBL would go on for a few more months while Benoit would drop out of the title scene. Orton’s push would be stopped cold as HHH would beat him for the title a month later and hold onto it until April because that’s what HHH does. This isn’t a good show though and is one of the worst Summerslams in a long time.

Ratings Comparison

Dudleys vs. Billy Kidman/Paul London/Rey Mysterio

Original: B-

Redo: C

Matt Hardy vs. Kane

Original: B

Redo: C

John Cena vs. Booker T

Original: D

Redo: D+

Chris Jericho vs. Edge vs. Batista

Original: C

Redo: C-

Eddie Guerrero vs. Kurt Angle

Original: C-

Redo: B

HHH vs. Eugene

Original: D

Redo: D-

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Undertaker

Original: B-

Redo: D

Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

Original: A

Redo: B+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

What was I thinking on that Undertaker match?

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