Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: July 28, 2014
We’re heading into Summerslam and one major thing stood out to me about this episode of Raw. Was it the World Title match? The grudge match between Ambrose and Rollins? Wyatt vs. Jericho II? Maybe even Rusev vs. Swagger? Of course not. I have a feeling I’ll have a lot to say about this one. Let’s get to it.
The opening video focused on Brie and Stephanie, plus some other stuff from last week.
Cena opened the show and talked about how he knows he’s coming into Summerslam for the beating of his life but he’s going to fight for everything he’s worth. Heyman came out and got in an argument with Cena where they talked about what passion meant. Cena brought up ECW and touched a chord with Heyman, as you would expect him to.
There was a lot of talk about Brock wanting to make Cena a victim just like the Undertaker. Heyman is reaching new levels of milking a single match, but that’s exactly why they gave Brock the Streak and it’s working like charm. This was really solid stuff and made me think that Cena is going to lose, but it’s going to be in a war.
Speaking of a war, Cesaro came out at the end of the promo and started a match with Cena. Cesaro wound up losing to a top rope AA, but it was the kind of battle you would expect. I really wish they could have a match where Cesaro had even a prayer of winning. The match was a great back and forth brawl between two guys that can work the heck out of a power brawl.
After Stephanie freaked out about Brie Bella, Orton came in to complain about Reigns costing him the World Title shot last week. This led to HHH telling Orton to take care of Reigns. The match at Summerslam just has to be made official at this point.
Paige and AJ had another chat but Paige made the mistake of calling her crazy. I’m assuming the submission match is coming at Summerslam. Also, I could get used to Paige skipping around and smiling very quickly.
HHH and Stephanie came out for their serious chat about the Brie Bella issue but Jericho cut them off for his usual magic with Stephanie. Rollins wound up jumping Jericho to set up their match later tonight.
Summerslam 1998 is airing on the Network this Sunday. I dig the idea, but I really don’t care about sitting down at 8 this Sunday when I could start the show, say, now.
The Usos and Ziggler beat Ryback/Axel/Miz. Standard combine two matches into a six man with nothing all that interesting to it.
R-Truth beat Bo Dallas in less than a minute. They had to get Dallas’ first loss out of the way at some point and it’s better to do it now than have him lose all his heat in one match.
Lana and Colter’s argument this week was about the flag.
Adam Rose beat Damien Sandow in less than forty seconds. Somehow I think this is the payoff for Sandow.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane never happened as Orton jumped Reigns from the crowd and destroyed him. Again, the match is obvious and just waiting for the announcement.
Diego beat Fandango to continue the issues with Layla/Summer Rae. Nothing to the match but GOOD NIGHT did Summer look great in the matador outfit.
Naomi/Natalya beat Alicia Fox/Cameron in yet another nothing match. There have been way too many of those on this show.
Chris Jericho had Seth Rollins beat in a good match when the Wyatts interfered. This is another case where the ending was obvious and there’s nothing wrong with that.
The big ending segment was Stephanie coming out and confronting Brie Bella. The end result was Brie getting her job back but wanting a match against Stephanie at Summerslam. This was a fine segment, but WHY IN THE WORLD WAS THIS THE CLOSING SEGMENT TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW??? I’m fine with them fighting on pay per view, but there is no reason for this to be the last thing we see.
Stephanie McMahon is a great heel, but at the end of the day, Brie Bella isn’t anything special. She’s Daniel Bryan’s wife, but Bryan isn’t around right now. Brie is just another boring Diva in a large group of them. With all the big stuff they have coming up at Summerslam, I see no reason for this to be the feature attraction.
Overall Raw was….different. WAY too much stuff felt like it didn’t matter, but at the same time, so much of Summerslam is either official or obvious that it’s just building at this point. The problem here though is you need this kind of stuff to fill in a three hour show. It’s almost like a three hour show every week is a REALLY bad idea.
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Impact Wrestling – July 31, 2014 (Destination X 2014): Same Time This Year
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 31, 2014
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
It’s Destination X, meaning for one night a year, the X Division actually matters. In this case we have another Option C, as Austin Aries has cashed in his X-Division Title for a World Title shot. Also, we have the reunited Hardy Boys challenging the Wolves for the World Tag Team Titles which should be awesome. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of Aries in an empty arena and talking about how he’s willing to give it all up for one chance tonight.
The opening video talks about the two title matches.
Here are Dixie and company to get things going. Dixie brags about changing the rules on everyone and giving them the real EC Dub (not ECW of course). She’s given them a star in Ethan and he’ll lead TNA into the future. Ethan talks about how the two men who debuted last week are the real ECW men. First up is the man formerly known as Big Z, but now he’ll go by his real name of Rycklon. The other guy is just known as Gene Snitsky.
This brings Ethan to Team 3D and Dreamer. The fans want tables but Ethan says this is going to become the house that the Carters built. A challenge is issued for one final challenge to end this war once and for all. Also, Dixie is NEVER going to be put through a table, no matter what.
Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Wolves
Wolves are defending. Eddie and Matt crank arm work to start as the fans are split. The champions take over but Matt sends Richards into the corner to take over. Off to Jeff as the Hardys start working over Davey’s arm. A double suplex gets two and it’s back to a wristlock from Matt. Richards finally gets in a shot to the head and makes a tag off to Edwards to clean house.
A double hurricanrana puts both Hardys on the floor, setting up a double suicide dive to keep the champions in control. Back in and Eddie enziguris Jeff into a German suplex from Davey for two. Matt saves his brother from a double suplex before the Wolves are thrown outside. Poetry In Motion over the top puts everyone down before a regular one hits Eddie in the corner.
The Side Effect sets up the Swanton but Richards sends Jeff outside before a cover. Matt gets two off a moonsault to Edwards before both Hardys put on Ice Picks (double underhook guillotine chokes). Davey breaks Jeff’s hold and makes the save before sending him crashing to the floor.
The kick to Matt’s chest sets up the double double stomp for two on Matt. Back up and a Twist of Fate gets two on Davey and a backslide gets the same for Richards. Jeff is still down, allowing the Wolves to hit their powerbomb/top robe Backstabber for the pin on Matt at 10:08.
Rating: B. This was good but not great. The tagging part went away a few minutes into the match but that’s probably the best thing all around. I didn’t know who was going to win here and that’s a very good thing considering how this could have gone. The Hardys still looked good and Matt hasn’t looked like this in years.
Video on Low Ki, an X-Division pioneer.
Low Ki and Joe stare at each other in the back.
X-Division Title Qualifying Match: DJZ vs. Manik vs. Low Ki
It’s the usual series of triple threats to set up another triple threat for the vacant title. DJZ heads outside to start, allowing Manik and Low Ki to dive around a lot. Back in and DJZ dropkicks both guys down before sending Manik outside. Low Ki counters a tornado DDT and sends DJZ into the corner, only to have Manik come back in to break it up.
Low Ki gets sent to the floor and Manik puts a Black Widow on DJZ. He changes it over to an Indian Deathlock but Ki kicks him down to crank on DJZ’s leg even worse. Ki gets knocked off the top and DZJ gets two off a rollup to Manik. DJZ gets kicked off the top and out to the floor and the Ki Crusher ends Manik at 5:10.
Rating: C. The match was fine but I really have a problem getting into these qualifying matches. They’re so similar every single year with people being brought back, wrestling maybe a match or two after it’s over, and then usually leaving again. That really isn’t all that interesting and gets tiresome quick. Still though, not a bad match.
We look back at Sanada turning on Great Muta and joining forces with James Storm last week.
Here’s Storm with something to say. What we saw last week was a student rising up instead of being held down by his mentor. Now Storm is Sanada’s new mentor and will see that he gets everything done.
X-Division Title Qualifying Match: Sanada vs. Brian Cage vs. Crazzy Steve
The muscular Cage (he once appeared on Gut Check) cleans house to start and gets two off a backbreaker to Sanada. Steve gets in Cage’s face and offers a test of strength before stomping on Cage’s foot. That’s fine with Cage as he picks up Sanada in a Samoan drop and Sanada in a slam at the same time. Both guys get thrown down before Cage can’t hit a delayed vertical superplex on Steve. The Crazzy one hits a sunset bomb for two but Sanada makes the save. Sanada gets hammered down in the corner but Cage misses a Lionsault, allowing Sanada to hit a tiger suplex on Steve for the pin at 3:55.
Rating: D+. Cage looked really impressive but there was no question who was going to win here. Sanada is a guy that we have a reason to care about which puts him far ahead of a lot of the international talent brought in for something like this. There isn’t much to say here though, as is the case most of the time on this special.
Team 3D and Dreamer accept.
Bobby Roode gives Aries a pep talk.
Here are Team 3D and Tommy Dreamer with something to say. D-Von talks about being gone for awhile but now he’s back with his best friend Dreamer and his Brother Ray. They know how to finish a war and that’s what they’re going to do. Dreamer says he’s been in wars against and with these men along with others that will die for all of us. Being hardcore is a work ethic and he would go to war with anyone in TNA because that’s what this business is all about.
This brings out Dixie’s cronies with Ethan saying this is war, but the war is next week. Ray isn’t pleased and asks if Ethan knows who he is and where they are. Ray may not know how to do a lot of things, but he knows how to start a riot in New York City. If Ethan gets to name the time, Ray gets to make it a weapons match.
Angle and Joe shake hands in the back and Angle is pleased.
Team Dixie is ready for next week.
The Beautiful People don’t think much of Terryn and Gail Kim.
Someone whose name begins with an H is coming.
X-Division Qualifying Match: Samoa Joe vs. Tigre Uno vs. Homicide
Before the match, Joe talks about how awesome he is and how he’ll bring the focus back to the X-Division. Tigre is quickly thrown down but Homicide sends Joe out to the floor for a big running flip dive as we take a break. Back with Tigre dropkicking both guys down but he gets double teamed with a High/Low.
Joe and Homicide have their big showdown with Joe taking over and hammering away. Some knees to Homicide’s head have him in trouble but Tigre comes back and takes over with kicks of his own. Homicide takes Tigre down with a tornado DDT but Uno is in the corner. Joe takes over again but Homicide breaks up the MuscleBuster. That only lasts for a few seconds though as Joe busts up Homicide’s muscles to advance at 9:50.
Rating: C+. It’s the best of the three matches but that really doesn’t cover a lot of ground. Joe advancing is the logical move and I really hope Homicide isn’t going to be around full time. I’ve never cared for him and he doesn’t seem to do much other than wrestle a strong style which doesn’t do anything for me.
Video on Abyss vs. Bram. Abyss sings My Girl and brings out Janice.
Video on Aries cashing in the X Title last week.
We recap the X-Division stuff.
TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Lashley
Bobby is defending and it’s a staredown to start. Aries goes to the leg to start but it’s a very slow opening. More kicks have Lashley in trouble and Austin wraps his leg around the ropes for even more kicks. A dropkick to the back sends Lashley to the floor but his dive is caught in midair for a belly to belly suplex as we take a break. Back with Lashley taking over and putting on a reverse bearhug.
Aries fights up but gets caught in a regular bearhug. Austin escapes again but gets caught in a nice gorilla press drop. The Dominator is countered with a discus forearm and a series of regular forearms in the corner. Lashley is sent to the floor and Aries hits the top rope ax handle, setting up a missile dropkick back inside. The corner dropkick is caught in the Dominator though (sweet counter) but the spear is countered into the Last Chancery.
Lashley fights out and lifts Aries for a suplex but just throws Aries forward. Another spear attempt misses and there’s the discus forearm to send Lashley back into the corner. The running drokick sets up the brainbuster but Lashley is up at two. Lashley rolls away to avoid the 450 but Aries misses the suicide dive. Back in and the spear retains Lashley’s title at 16:28.
Rating: B-. Good match here as Lashley piles up another hero. This is basic wrestling booking as we’re waiting on the hero to rise up and take the title back to the good side. Lashley is little more than a dragon, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a good story. Nice match here too with Aries playing the hero really well.
The final video shows Dixie being lifted up for a powerbomb next week with a Twitter hashtag of ITHAPPENS.
Overall Rating: B-. I didn’t hate the show but this really didn’t feel special. The opener was entertaining and the main event was good as well, but there was nothing on here that I’m going to think about soon after this show. I really don’t know what’s coming for Bound For Glory but we should be getting to its build in the next few weeks.
I can’t imagine this is going to help the X-Division either as it looks to be exactly what happened before: the division will mean something for a few weeks and then go away because it doesn’t mean anything until next year’s Destination X. At least it was entertaining while it lasted this year. Good but definitely not great show here.
Results
Wolves b. Hardys – Powerbomb/Backstabber combination to Matt
Low Ki b. DJZ and Manik – Ki Crusher to Manik
Sanada b. Brian Cage and Crazzy Steve – Tiger suplex to Steve
Samoa Joe b. Tigre Uno and Homicide – MuscleBuster to Homicide
Bobby Lashley b. Austin Aries – Spear
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International Network Dates
They finally announced some countries for the Network.
The UK gets the Network at some point in October.
Over 170 countries and territories get it on August 12, including Canada, Australia, Spain and Mexico among many others.
There’s good stuff in the report, but the number of buys still isn’t great. International will help A LOT though. THere’s also an offer of one month for $19.99, which will come off as a great deal for people wanting a pay per view and nothing more. THis could be far worse.
WWE Network Does 700,000 Buys
That’s not good. Here’s the report from 411mania.com.
– The WWE released their 2014 Q2 earnings reports today, and in that report they announced that the WWE Network is up to 700,000 subscribers. This is up from the 667,00 announced the day after WrestleMania. It is also far below the 850,000 figure that most analysts felt that the company should be at, especially with WWE stating that they want to hit the 1 million subscriber mark in the US by the end of 2014. Some notes from the financials on the Network…
Customer Engagement: Viewer data indicates that, on average, 91% of subscribers access the network at least once per week and use 2.5 devices to consume network content. Moreover, consumer research indicates that 90% of subscribers are satisfied with WWE Network (with 51% extremely satisfied and 39% somewhat satisfied).
International Availability: The Company plans to make the U.S. version of WWE Network available on an over-the-top basis starting August 12th in over 170 countries and territories, including Australia, New Zealand, Hong Kong, Singapore, Mexico, Spain and the Nordics, among others. The network is expected to be live in the U.K. by October 2014. Plans for the network in Italy, UAE, Germany, Japan, India, China, Thailand and Malaysia will be communicated at a later date.
Canada: The Company has entered into a new 10-year partnership with Rogers Communications, a leading media enterprise in Canada, under a landmark television programming and WWE Network agreement. The partnership facilitates the launch of WWE Network as a traditional a-la-carte Pay-TV channel in Rogers’ cable systems with a preview beginning August 12 and thereafter through other Pay-TV providers outside Rogers’ footprint. The partnership also renews Rogers’ license of the Raw and SmackDown television programs, and grants Rogers distribution rights to the Company’s pay-per-views.
Consumer Marketing: To enhance awareness, additional marketing investment is planned around the popular SummerSlam pay-per-view event in August. The Company will also introduce new payment plans in August, including a $19.99 monthly plan (with no commitment) and an upfront one-time payment option for its existing $9.99 per month offering (with six month commitment).
Other Developments: Content coming to WWE Network includes The Monday Night War and WWE Rivalries, the most recent addition to the network’s program schedule, both of which provide a documentary-style look at some of the greatest moments in WWE history. Expanding current distribution, WWE Network is launching on several smart TVs and Blu-ray players in mid-August. The Company also plans to deliver a new “resume play” feature later this year.
– George Barrios, Chief Strategy & Financial Officer had the following to say about the future of the Network…
“As we expanded WWE Network to 700,000 subscribers, our earnings performance surpassed our guidance, which targeted a Net loss ranging from $15 million to $18 million. Our key metrics continued to show strength as average North American attendance increased 11%, representing the fourth consecutive quarter of year-over-year growth. Raw and SmackDown TV ratings increased 5% and 3%, respectively, marking SmackDown’s 7th quarter of growth among the past 8 quarters. We identified efficiencies across WWE, which include a 7% reduction in staff, and improved our 2015 OIBDA outlook by $30 million. We developed plans to make WWE Network available in over 170 countries, and entered a 10-year deal that provides for the WWE Network launch as a traditional a-la-carte Pay-TV channel in Canada and renews our television licensing agreement for Raw and SmackDown. The progress in our strategic initiatives reinforces our view that successful execution of our WWE Network strategy can generate meaningful economic returns.”
Read more at http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/330556#ueZCGt88VbQrckCc.99
Looking at how Summerslam has changed in the last year.
Summerslam Count-Up – 1996: That’s A Good Double Feature
Summerslam 1996 Date: August 18, 1996
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect
Things have changed quite a bit since last year. For one thing, the NWO currently has its foot on the WWF’s neck but no one knew how bad it was going to get. Shawn was pretty much tanking as champion but he’s still defending tonight against Vader. The major match though is Undertaker vs. Mankind in a Boiler Room Brawl which has the potential to be awesome. Let’s get to it.
The pre-show match is kind of famous so I’ll throw it in as a bonus.
Steve Austin vs. Yokozuna
Austin is fresh off winning the King of the Ring and cutting the promo that made him famous. Yoko is so fat it’s terrifying at this point. Austin still has very slow music here which sounds like it belongs in a romantic drama. He goes right after the big man to start but a single right hand puts Steve down. A double middle finger earns Austin a Samoan drop and a legdrop. Yoko loads up the Banzai Drop and the freaking ring breaks with Yoko falling down to the mat, giving Austin an easy pin.
The opening video is about monsters like Vader and Mankind wearing masks but heroes standing up to them no matter what.
Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
Owen has a broken arm/wrist coming in. Feeling out process to start with the referee warning Owen about using the cast. Savio does the smart thing by ramming the bad arm into the buckle to take over. We hit an armbar as we cut to Vader’s locker room to see Cornette firing him up. A monkey flip and a dropkick put Owen down and it’s back to the armbar. Owen kicks out of a rollup and sends Savio shoulder first into the post as momentum changes all of a sudden.
Off to a wristlock on Vega as the match is still waiting to get off the ground. Owen puts on a long armbar followed by a DDT on the arm for two. Vega bites his way out of the hold as the crowd is dead quiet for this. Owen charges into a boot and here’s Clarence Mason, a lawyer, to watch the match. An enziguri puts Vega down for two and a few rollups get the same for Savio.
Hart takes him down with a spinwheel kick but Savio comes back with right hands and clotheslines. Owen’s missile dropkick gets two as the crowd is into this all of a sudden. Hart is crotched on another top rope attempt but Savio lands on the cast in his belly to back superplex. Owen slips off the cast and lays out Savio (with the referee looking right at him), setting up the Sharpshooter for the win.
Rating: C. This took awhile to get going and could have shaved off five minutes or so. Savio was nothing special at all and Owen was in a transitional phase of his career as he was trying to become a singles guy but wasn’t ready to do it yet. The match wasn’t bad and picked way up but the ending was lame.
Post match Justin Hawk Bradshaw comes out to lay out Vega once again.
Todd Petingill is in the boiler room and finds Mankind licking a pipe and saying there’s no place like home.
Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns
The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.
A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.
Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.
We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.
Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.
Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.
Post match Sunny insults the women in the audience and unveils a huge poster of herself to make the arena prettier.
Video on the Summerslam festivities in the city this weekend.
Sycho Sid vs. British Bulldog
Sid is just back after being out for about six months with an injury. He’s part of Shawn’s war with Camp Cornette, making this a lower level battle in the feud. The fans are WAY into Sid here which makes his title reigns a lot more understandable. Neither guy goes anywhere on some collisions until Sid slams him down to the floor. A LOUD Let’s Go Sid chant starts up, giving us more interest than the entire tag title match had combined.
Bulldog tries to power out of a headlock as the announcers talk about Mason being out here instead of Cornette again. A powerslam gets two for Sid but Bulldog comes back with the delayed vertical suplex. That’s some impressive power, especially on a guy that tall. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Bulldog clotheslines Sid to the floor. Bulldog clotheslines him down again and flips forward to entertain us while Sid is down. Back to the chinlock before Bulldog hits the powerslam clean, but here’s Cornette to argue with Mason. Another powersam is countered into the chokeslam and an AWESOME powerbomb is good for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was better than you would think with both guys’ power stuff looking good. That powerbomb was great as Bulldog just stopped once he hit the mat and the selling was even better. Sid is just scary over at this point, which made his heel turn all the better. To be fair though, the fans just wouldn’t boo the guy even when he was a heel. Take that for what you will.
The managers keep arguing post match.
Video on Shawn.
Goldust vs. Marc Mero
Marlena and Sable are the seconds here and Goldust has a thing for the latter. Goldust takes him into the corner and rubs his own chest before slapping Mero in the face. Some armdrags take Goldie down and he hides in the corner. They run the ropes a bit with Mero getting two off a cross body and hooking an armbar. The crowd is dead again so the announcers talk about Ahmed Johnson’s kidney injury.
Back up and Goldust backdrops Mero out to the floor before dropping him throat first across the barricade. Goldust hooks a chinlock and here’s Mankind who has been calling Sable mommy lately. Some referees chase him off a few seconds later, making this your pointless cameo of the show. A knee to the ribs puts Mero down for two but he comes off the middle rope with a back elbow to the jaw.
A clothesline and a backdrop put Goldust down again and a million dollar kneelift does the same. Goldust counters punches in the corner and they both tumble to the floor but Mero slides back in and hits a running flip dive. A slingshot legdrop gets two followed by the debut of the Shooting Star Press, called the Wild Thing. Since this is 1996 WWF, it only gets two. A few seconds later Goldust hits the Curtain Call (reverse forward suplex) for the pin.
Rating: D. Another dull match here other than the Shooting Star. Goldust was all thought and character but little in the area of substance in the ring. The crowd was dead again here other than for the Wild Thing which was by far the most exciting thing in the match. There wasn’t much to see here but as was the case back then, a lot of matches on PPV were filler.
Goldust stalks Sable post match until Mero makes the save.
We recap Jake Roberts vs. Jerry Lawler. Jake claimed to have sobered up and was speaking at churches about how Jesus helped him overcome his demons. Lawler claimed that Roberts was a fraud (which was the case in real life as he was still hooked on crack) and tonight is the showdown.
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Before the match we have the debut of a new Olympian who will be getting in the ring soon: Mark Henry. Lawler brings his own bag with him along with something in his pocket. He’s also wearing a Baltimore Ravens jersey (the beloved Cleveland Browns had recently moved to Baltimore and become the Ravens) because Lawler knows how to rile up a crowd like few others ever could. Henry thinks it’s hilarious despite being a face.
Lawler pulls out two bottles of Jim Beam to be Roberts’ partners tonight and says Roberts’ wife only looks good after a six pack. Henry is so stupid that if he won a gold medal he’d have it bronzed. Once Roberts uses his bar stool as a walker to get out here, Lawler is going to knock him sideways so everyone can recognize him. It’s very impressive how easily Lawler can have a crowd eating out of the palm of his hand like this.
Roberts finally comes out so Lawler pulls a huge bottle of booze from the bag. Jake pulls the snake out of his own bag to scare Lawler to the floor and the bell finally rings. Lawler looks for a microphone but Jake sends him face first into the steps and hammers away back inside. Back to the floor with Lawler being sent into various hard objects until he steals a drink from a fan to blind Jake. Henry: “So what is the fan going to drink?” Lawler gets one of the bottles from ringside but has to block a DDT attempt. Another DDT is countered and Jerry hits him in the throat with the bottle for the pin.
Rating: D. This was much more of an angle than a match with Lawler giving a great lesson in how to fire up a crowd. Roberts wouldn’t be around much longer before heading to ECW and the indies. This would lead to Henry’s first mini feud against Lawler which started got his career going in slow motion.
Post match Lawler says Roberts is holding his throat because he wants a drink. Lawler opens the big bottle to pour it down Jake’s throat but Mark Henry makes a delayed save.
Bob Backlund campaigns for President.
Paul Bearer comes to the ring. The next match will be won by retrieving the Urn from his hands.
Undertaker vs. Mankind
This is the Boiler Room Brawl, meaning the fight starts in the boiler room and you win by fighting to the ring and getting the Urn from Bearer. Taker goes into the room where Mankind is hiding somewhere. This is bordering on creepy as Taker is looking through the shadows to find Mankind but only finds machines. Mankind sneaks up on him with a pipe to the back as the fight begins. Keep in mind that the people in the arena are seeing this on TV screens as there’s no Titantron yet.
Undertaker comes back with a trashcan lid to the head and they brawl around the room with Mankind in control. The announcers have stopped talking as Mankind stuns Taker across a wooden stand. A stiff right hand puts Taker down and Mankind chokes away. The camera cuts out for a few moments so something can be edited and we come back with a trashcan shot putting Taker down.
Taker finds a pipe to knock the can into Mankind’s face but Mankind turns a valve to shoot steam into Taker’s face. A clothesline sends the can into Mankind’s face and the slow brawling continues. Taker hits him in the face with a wooden pallet but Mankind hits Taker low with a pipe of some kind. Mankind sends him into a wall and hits the running knee to drive Taker’s head into the wall again. An elbow off a ladder keeps Taker down and Mankind drags him along the floor.
The camera goes out again and the audience boos. Back with Undertaker laid out on the floor and Mankind setting up a ladder next to him. Mankind climbs up and in the best remembered spot of the match, Undertaker sits up and pulls him down onto a pile of pipes. Back up and Mankind goes for the door but Undertaker grabs him by the ankle. A fire extinguisher blast to the face puts Mankind down and it’s Undertaker out the door first. Mankind rams him into the door and gets out, only to fall in the aisle.
With Taker still inside Mankind barricade the door but Taker kicks it in anyway. They fight up the aisle with jobbers watching from the doors. Taker shoves him across the coffee area, allowing Mankind to get ahead a bit. He throws hot coffee onto Undertaker and crawls into the arena to give the fans something to see in person. Taker catches up with him and pounds away but Mankind keeps him out of the ring.
A Texas piledriver onto the concrete knocks Undertaker out cold but he sits up just in time to pull Mankind off the apron, slamming the back of his head into the concrete. Undertaker gets inside and gets on one knee in front of Paul but Bearer won’t give him the Urn. Mankind gets in and knocks Taker out with the Claw before Bearer does the unthinkable by turning on Undertaker and giving Mankind the Urn.
Rating: B. This is a hard one to grade as it was VERY long (nearly half an hour) and was unlike any other match up to this point. This match would have killed in the Attitude Era but here it’s just quite good. Bearer turning was shocking as he had managed Undertaker for nearly six years and I don’t think anyone believed he would ever turn on Undertaker.
Druids come out to carry Undertaker to the back. He’d be back the next night like nothing happened.
Camp Cornette is ready for Shawn Michaels. Cornette: “When Vader grabs you by the neck Shawn Michaels, you’re going to sound like Peter Frampton’s electric kazoo.” WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF???
WWF World Title: Vader vs. Shawn Michaels
Vader is challenging after pinning Shawn in a six man tag at In Your House #9. He pounds Shawn in the face to start before taking his head off with a clothesline. Shawn catches a big boot and leg sweeps Vader down before hitting a low dropkick to stun Vader. Michaels fires off rights and lefts from his knees and Vader bails to the floor. A HUGE dive takes him down again as the fans are finally waking up a bit.
Back in and a standing hurricanrana takes Vader down and a victory roll sends him back out to the floor. Shawn’s plancha into a hurricanrana is caught in a powerbomb and momentum changes in a hurry. Vader puts him on his shoulder and carries Shawn up the steps with one arm in a very impressive power display. A big suplex puts Shawn down again and Mr. Perfect gloats a lot. Shawn is sent into a Flair Flip in the corner and another whip sends him out to the floor.
Vader pounds away back inside but Shawn comes back with rights and lefts of his own. He can’t drop Vader though and a hard clothesline takes Shawn down again. Shawn tries to skin the cat but Vader pulls him back in and hits a kind of reverse jackknife for two. Off to a modified bearhug on the champion for a few moments until Shawn fights back with a running knee to the chest. Vader blocks a sunset flip but his jumping seated senton hits knees.
A hard clothesline puts Vader down and we get a semi-famous spot as Shawn goes up but aborts the elbow in mid flight, instead hitting a flying stomp. He throws a fit and yells at Vader before a cross body puts both guys on the floor. Vader drops Shawn throat first across the barricade…..for a countout win? Seriously? Female fan: “NO! NO! NO!” Cornette agrees because he wants to win the title by pin instead of countout.
Shawn agrees to get back in but Vader punches him down on the floor. Cornette pops Shawn in the back with the tennis racket and a belly to belly gets two for Vader. Michaels punches his way out of the powerbomb and hits the forearm/nip-up combo. He tunes up the band but Cornette throws in the racket, only to have Shawn intercept it and blast Vader for the DQ.
The third part of the match begins (Cornette, WE DON’T WANT IT THAT WAY, ring the bell again) with Shawn avoiding another seated senton and now the top rope elbow connects. Sweet Chin Music only gets two and the referee is knocked to the floor. Vader hits the powerbomb and a second referee comes in to count two. Cornette is stunned as Vader goes up, only to miss the moonsault. Shawn goes up top and hits a moonsault press to retain the title.
Rating: B+. I’ve only seen this match once or twice and it really holds up. Shawn was in his element here against a monster and he capitalized on Vader’s greed for the title to finally beat him. The problem was the people didn’t care about Shawn until he got in the ring which made him a hard sell for the fans. Still though, excellent match here.
Overall Rating: C. Well the last two matches are both good to great, but it takes awhile to get there. Thankfully for the show those matches take up over an hour of the card and help things out a lot. Unfortunately the NWO was running roughshod on the wrestling world at this point so the good matches here didn’t mean much at all. This wasn’t one of the stronger entries in the series though.
Ratings Comparison
Owen Hart vs. Savio Vega
Original: B+
Redo: C
Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas vs. New Rockers vs. Godwinns
Original: B-
Redo: D-
British Bulldog vs. Sycho Sid
Original: D
Redo: D+
Marc Mero vs. Goldust
Original: C+
Redo: D
Jerry Lawler vs. Jake Roberts
Original: C-
Redo: D
Mankind vs. Undertaker
Original: A-
Redo: B
Vader vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: A-
Redo: B+
Overall Rating
Original: A
Redo: C
Did I owe this show money a few years ago? My jaw is hanging open as I read these ratings again.
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Monday Nitro – March 8, 1999 (2014 Redo): When Is A Wrestling Show Not A Wrestling Show?
Monday Nitro #179
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,856
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schaivone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko
We had to get to this one eventually. I’ve heard warnings about this show for a long time now and even though I’ve seen it more than once before, the idea that this was allowed to make air still baffles me. It’s the go home Nitro before Uncensored, meaning this is the big show to get people to buy the pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Video on the cage being built for Uncensored.
Here’s the whole Flair and Anderson talk from Thunder. It runs over six minutes and is summed up as Anderson saying Flair should think about his family more than himself.
The Nitro Girls are at Brown University for the Nitro Party.
Profile on AC Jazz and how she does the choreography for the team. She’s the clown of the bunch.
Here’s the Hogan interview from Thunder about how much he hates Flair and wants him out of wrestling. Again, it eats up about six minutes.
More from Brown University. Konnan is there.
Here’s Konnan’s music video.
Here’s a video of Hogan and Nash watching Flair’s promo last week. The only good part comes when Flair talks about a blonde waiting for him in Charlotte. Nash: “Buddy Landel?” Hogan: “Buddy Rose.” Hogan and Nash need to regroup on David and switch gears to Plan B.
Video on Lex Luger.
Konnan t-shirt ad. This is the second time we’ve seen it so far.
Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell, still on the way to Spring Break, have their bus pulled over. They’re allowed to get out of their ticket if they do police work. They agree, but can’t decide who is Starsky and who is Hutch. Instead they harass people for minor offenses. The cops let them go free.
Back to the Nitro Party where Kidman is holding the belt and eating Domino’s pizza. Kidman thinks Mysterio can beat Nash again.
Video on Mysterio vs. Nash.
The Blonde is at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash show up. Naturally there’s a camera facing her when she’s shooting. They call her Sam and suggest she use some of her other talents to take care of Flair. Nash hits on her and dinner plans are made. Why Torrie is in a sports bra isn’t clear.
Now we go to the dinner where Hogan wants to take Ric out for good. Torrie says she has a friend hotter than she is and will try to get her to take care of David. Nash: “How much for the women?” All this makes me want to do is watch Blues Brothers. The girl shows up and is named Denise Robinson. After some Graduate jokes, she’s promised $20,000 for taking care of David. Denise isn’t bad looking but I don’t think anyone is looking at her with the Blonde across the table.
Opening sequence, fifty five minutes into the show.
We go to the arena for the first time and Gene asks Goldberg to come out for a chat. Instead, here’s the Wolfpack because we haven’t heard that music enough tonight. David Flair and Sam come out to confuse Tenay and Zbyszko (Tony’s voice hasn’t been heard yet). They want Ric Flair out here to settle this man to man. Instead Goldberg’s music hits…..and we go to a commercial.
Back with Goldberg coming out as I guess the music played for four minutes. Goldberg says he respects the Flair name so he won’t deal with David like he usually would. However, David needs to learn some respect. David is disrespecting him by being out here so David pokes Goldberg in the chest. Goldberg grabs him by the throat and we go split screen to see Ric arriving and seeing this on a monitor, sending him sprinting to the ring.
Ric saves his son and chops Goldberg to no effect. Instead Goldberg press slams him but Ric gets right in his face and rants about being the best ever. Goldberg says Flair has lost his mind and stepped over the line. Flair rants about being the line and a match is made for tonight. This REALLY sounds like they’re about to turn Flair heel, which might actually be the dumbest thing I could think of this side of a Jerry Flynn push.
Raven vs. Hak
Falls count anywhere. They hug before the match and then the brawling begins. Raven blasts him in the head with a Singapore cane a few times before they head outside for left hands from Hak. The fight heads up the famp with Raven suplexing Hak on the ramp. Raven puts Hak on a table and dives off the set to drive him through it. Bam Bam Bigelow walks out and adds himself to the match, even though the referee throws it out a few seconds later.
Rating: D. I can’t stand this stuff, especially when Raven is capable of having good matches without this nonsense. Hak is Sandman minus the beer and that’s not something I have any interest in watching. At least in the WWF they made it funny instead of just ripping off ECW this badly.
Bigelow and Raven keep fighting into the back with everyone being thrown into various metal objects. Hak punches Bigelow up against an ambulance but Bigelow rams Raven head first into it as well. Raven puts Hak in a wheelbarrow and throws him into the ambulance. Now they fight over to a limo with Bigelow throwing them both onto the hood. Raven Even Flows Hak onto the hood and everyone gets tired and lays around for a bit. Raven tells Bigelow to bring it on the so the big man dives at the others. Eventually everyone just walks away to end this. The post match stuff was three times as long as the match.
Now we look at these three brawling from last week.
Chris Jericho vs. Lizmark Jr.
Jericho comes out with a dog collar around his neck and a long chain attached. Before the match, Jericho talks about training for the collar match with monks in Nepal and wants to make this a collar match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” Lizmark puts the collar on as you can see a bunch of empty seats opppsite the camera. That’s a really bad sign but shouldn’t be surprising at all given how the show has gone so far.
Tony explains some new stipulations to Hogan vs. Flair: if Flair wins he’s President for life but if he loses, his career ends. Jericho chokes with a chain to start before wrapping it around his knee and driving it into Lizmark’s head. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain for two and an ax handle with the chain around Jericho’s hands knocks him to the floor. The masked man goes up top but dives into a chain shot to the face, setting up the Liontamer for the submission.
Rating: D. This was just a preview for Sunday so the idea was there but this is what we’re seeing halfway through the show. The entire show is a waste at this point and there’s almost nothing that is going to save this mess. I’m not usually a fan of gimmick matches being used to preview another gimmick match and this was no exception.
Here’s a look at Goldberg and Flair from earlier.
TV Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner
Before the match, Steiner says no one here in Worcester or anywhere else in the world could ever duplicate his physique. Tony downgrades Booker’s status from #1 contender to the US Title to #1 contender to the TV Title. Steiner hammers him down but gets caught by a forearm to the head. A spinning kick to the face puts Steiner down and another sends him out to the floor.
Back in after a meeting with Buff and Steiner easily takes Booker down with a nice amateur move. A low blow stops Booker’s comeback and the referee shouts to watch the low blows. I’d still like to know when those stopped being a disqualification. They head outside with Booker getting whipped into the barricade as the fans chant STEROIDS at Scott. Tony says the referee is staying inside because he’s intimidated by Steiner. That actually makes sense as we’ve established that countouts and DQ’s don’t really count in WCW anymore, so why wouldn’t he go out there for a better view?
We take a break and come back with Steiner still in control and driving knees in the corner. He choies Booker with his knee while covering but gets small packaged for two. A butterfly suplex gets two for Scott but Booker nails him with a clothesline. There’s the ax kick followed by the side kick, but Steiner distracts the referee so Bagwell can crotch Booker on the top rope. The Recliner retains Scott’s title as Booker passes out.
Rating: C. The match was ok but WCW continues their start and go pushes. Booker beats Bret in a great match then loses to Bagwell and Steiner on consecutive shows. There’s been no mention made of Booker getting his US Title shot on Sunday so odds are that’s been either forgotten or canceled. Granted it’s not like they’re doing anything else right at the moment.
Steiner blasts Booker with a chair after the match.
Nitro Girls as Tony reads the house show (his words) ads.
Now, just to really hammer in the suck, it’s a Jerry Flynn interview but Sonny Onoo interrupts. Sonny offers to buy him off to avoid the match on Sunday but Ernest Miller jumps him. They cut off Jerry’s ponytail.
Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
There are now more empty seats visible than there were before. Norton runs Rey over to start and hits a short arm clothesline. After being sent to the floor, Rey comes back in and gets caught in a release suplex. Norton launches him out to the floor again as the beating continues. Rey fights out of a powerbomb but gets dropped face first onto the turnbuckle. Much like Bigelow last week, Norton pulls him up at two before hitting a one handed gorilla press. I don’t mean he lifts him up with two hands then drops one. I mean he lifted Mysterio over his head with one hand. Then Rey kicks him low and gets a pin. It was that fast.
Rating: D+. That one handed press slam was awesome but that’s about it. The rest of the match was a squash as I don’t think Rey had any other offense besides the low blow and a few punches to escape the powerbomb. The giant killer angle may not produce good matches but the endings are entertaining.
More Nitro Girls.
Another video on building the cage with some narration by Flair.
Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart
Hammer takes him down to the mat with a headlock before we hit a test of strength. Bret grabs a wristlock but Hammer comes back with some very uninspired brawling. Hart of course comes back with a low blow because that’s as common as a headlock in this company anymore.
We hit the Figure Four on Van before Bret wraps the leg around the ropes. A backslide gets two for Hammer but Bret goes right back to the leg. He bends the leg around the post but Hammer counters the Figure Four around the steel. Back in and Bret gets suplexed followed by a cobra clutch slam for two. Hammer misses an enziguri and the Sharpshooter ends it.
Rating: D. WAY too long here for a Bret squash. Hammer was just a guy for him to beat up and the leg work got a bit boring after awhile. By the way, this match is pretty much meaningless at the moment as Bret isn’t even on the card Sunday. Why we’re spending ten minutes on a match that doesn’t build up Sunday is an interesting question, but it’s really low on the totem of things this show has done wrong.
Tony says this has been a hard hitting three hours. Not only has it been two and a half hours, but this has hit about as hard as a baby rabbit’s left hook.
Hogan and Nash come to the broadcast booth, sending Heenan and Tenay running off. They don’t have much to say but they’ll be doing commentary on the main event.
Ric Flair vs. Goldberg
Goldberg easily shoves him down a few times to start and there’s a gorilla press to boot. Flair starts to walk out but Goldberg carries him back to the ring. Tony: “How many men have accomplished so much in less that two years?” Nash: “There was some cat from the Emerald City that did a lot but I don’t remember what happened to him.” Back in and Flair hits him low a few times before hammering away in the corner. A third low blow stops Goldberg’s comeback and it’s time to go for the leg.
The Figure Four goes on quickly and Flair grabs the ropes. Oh yeah he’s turning soon. Goldberg turns it over to escape and starts no selling the chops. He drops Flair with a clothesline and a Flair Flip puts Ric on the floor. Back in and the spear hits the buckle, allowing Flair to nail a suplex. Goldberg pops right back up and hits the spear, drawing in the NWO for the DQ.
Rating: C-. The match was decent enough but you knew the run-in was coming as soon as Hogan and Nash sat in on commentary. There was no way either guy was jobbing here as Goldberg is Goldberg and Flair is in the main event in six days. It didn’t help that the match was exactly what you would expect from these two.
Hogan and Nash come in as well to help beat down Goldberg and Flair to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. Here’s the thing: I had it easier than most with this because I could fast forward the two opening interviews with Anderson/Flair and Hogan, plus a lot of the music videos and t-shirt ads. That made the first hour last about fifteen minutes, a lot of which included the Blonde in various revealing outfits. It wasn’t very hard, though only because I suffered through Thunder and could fast forward.
Now that being said, if I watched the first hour live, I’d have been looking into the quickest and most painless form of suicide. The first hour was one of the worst ideas I’ve ever seen and accomplished absolutely nothing. It was a bunch of recaps and some angle that we didn’t hear referenced for the rest of the night that revolved around David Flair.
That brings us to the rest of the show, which was somehow even worse. Let’s start with the matches. I’m tempted to write off Raven vs. Hak as not being a match as it was barely given any time and was just there for a table spot. Other than that we had a squash gimmick match, a long TV Title match (good for match of the night), another squash with a fluke ending, a ten minute Bret squash, and eight minutes of waiting for the NWO to run in. That’s not really a night worth watching.
Even if you wrote the first hour completely off, the last two hours made for a horrible show. It’s a bunch of bad wrestling, annoying segments, uninteresting build for matches and almost nothing I’d be interested in seeing. The best part about it is Raw wasn’t even very good this week. It was mainly spent building up Wrestlemania but did feature Mankind/Austin vs. Rock/Big Show. Goldberg vs. Flair is big, but it’s not worth sitting through two hours and forty five minutes of drek.
This is pretty high up on the list of worst wrestling shows of all time but it’s a rare case where watching online is FAR better than watching live. This would have driven me crazy watching it on TV as it doesn’t add anything to Uncensored and doesn’t have anything on its own. Uncensored is basically WCW saying “Remember that horrible show from three weeks ago with bad wrestling and annoying booking? Now you get to pay the same price for bad wrestling and maybe some better booking!” WWF was starting to pull away, but a lot of it had nothing to do with what they were doing.
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Ricardo Rodriguez Released By WWE
Confirmed on Twitter. This could be the first of many names coming this weekend. Stay tuned.
There isn’t much to say about Rodriguez. Without Del Rio, he was pretty expendable. I did like his comedy stuff though.
Wrestler of the Day – July 12: Bobby Lashley
In OVW, he was called Brock Lesnar Times Ten. It’s Bobby Lashley.
After dominating OVW for a bit (though not winning any titles), Lashley was quickly on WWE TV. He destroyed Simon Dean in his TV debut, but here’s the rematch on pay per view.
Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean
Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.
Since one opponent wasn’t enough, here’s another match against two people at Armageddon 2005.
William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley
They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.
Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.
Lashley would make it to the finals of the 2006 King of the Ring, with the finals taking place at Judgment Day 2006.
King of the Ring: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley
Booker beat Matt Hardy and got a bye to get here. Lashley beat Mark Henry and Finlay. Booker gets shoved down to start and they circle each other. I mean they circle each other A LOT. Lashley takes over with power shots and Booker can’t outmove him. A shoulder hits the post though and Lashley crashes to the floor. We go into the slowdown stuff here as Booker takes over on the arm.
Lashley fights back with a clothesline and stands around a lot. Sharmell interferes which gets them nowhere so they do it again and Booker takes over. Bookend gets a long two. This is rather boring stuff. Powerslam gets two for Lashley and the fans get WAY into it all of a sudden. Spinning heel kick sets up the axe kick for two. Lashley gets the spear but here’s Finlay with the club to Lashley’s head to let Booker hit the Bookend for the crown. He would win the title next.
Rating: D. I didn’t like this one at all for the most part. They felt like they were in the beginning of the match the entire time and it never worked for the most part. A D might be a bit low but at the same time I wasn’t thrilled with it in the slightest. It never got going at all and the whole thing was carried by Booker to say the least. At the time I never got the point of having Booker win but he was by far better at this point and in the long run it turned out to be the right move I think.
Five days later, JBL issued an open challenge for the US Title. From May 26, 2006 on Smackdown.
US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley throws him around to start but gets kicked in the face. Some right hands in the corner have Lashley in trouble but the Clothesline From JBL is countered with a spear to give Lashley the title.
After losing the title, Lashley would be in the main event of No Mercy 2006 for a World Title shot.
Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista
No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money you moron!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.
Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.
Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.
Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.
Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.
Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.
Lashley would be sent to ECW soon after this and be involved in the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember 2006.
ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam
Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.
Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.
They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. Quite a shame that he didn’t have a chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.
Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.
Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is so stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in a FREAKING MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.
The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.
Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.
Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.
He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.
Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.
A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.
Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.
The first major title defense was at the 2007 Royal Rumble.
ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test
Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.
Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.
Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.
Lashley would be Donald Trump’s representative in the Battle of the Billionaires in the biggest match of his career at Wrestlemania XXIII.
Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga
The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.
Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.
A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.
Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.
Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.
Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.
Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.
This launched a feud with the McMahons, who took the ECW Title from Lashley via some shenanigans. Here’s Lashley’s rematch at One Night Stand 2007.
ECW Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley
Umaga and Shane are with Vince here. Since he’s in it, this is a street fight. Lashley tries to dive on Umaga to start but messes up completely, landing only a kick to the head of the now dead Samoan. Shane tries to punch him and that just fails, leaving Vince all alone with Lashley. Joey tries to make it sound like Lashley is standing up for ECW, even though Heyman probably gets physically ill at the thought of Lashley working for ECW.
He fights off the trio as well as he can at first but the numbers catch up with him when he tries to bring in a chair. Vince gives his first offense, a clothesline, to take Bobby down. Vince’s hair is back now so at least the bandana is gone now. Out to the floor as this is a very slow beatdown which is going nowhere at all. Vince gets the timekeeper hammer and chokes Bobby with it instead of, you know, HITTING HIM WITH IT?
Back in the ring and a Samoan Drop takes Lashley down again. So riveting indeed here. Maybe it’s because Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers and therefore shouldn’t be in the ring with a guy like Lashley? Vince gets one of the worst spears I’ve ever seen to Lashley for two. Umaga chokes away to waste more time but misses a splash, crushing Vince instead.
Lashley starts cleaning house, sending Umaga to the floor via a low bridge and suplexing Umaga over the top. Big chair shot to the head of Vince and many more to the back follow. Dominator powerslam only gets two as Umaga makes the save. Bobby gets another chair but Umaga gets a superkick in to take him down again. There goes the crowd as that totally and completely should have been the ending.
Instead, the McMahons and the Samoan take over again because that way they look like supervillains again. Shane drops the big elbow through the table (OH YEAH!) and everyone is down. Umaga wakes Vince up and gets a long two on him. Joey freaks out but it just feels wrong here. Umaga hits the running smash in the corner and Lashley is done. Shane tries the Van Terminator but drills Umaga by mistake. Spear to Vince gives Lashley his title back.
Rating: D+. Match more or less sucked because Vince and company dominated for the vast majority of it. They proved why Vince being in a mach did nothing but they were trying to give Lashley a rub I guess. Either way, there really was no point in waiting for this show to do the title change again, but either way not much here and WAY too long. The first comeback should have been it.
Lashley would be moved to Raw soon after this, meaning he couldn’t be ECW Champion. Instead, he would be put into the Raw main event scene and have a showdown with Cena at Great American Bash 2007.
Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley
They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.
Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.
Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.
John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.
Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.
As mentioned, that would be it for Lashley in WWE but he would show up in TNA in about two years. Here’s a big match from Bound For Glory 2009.
Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley
Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.
Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.
Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.
Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.
Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.
Another from Final Resolution 2009.
Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley
Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak. Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match. Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases. Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing. Steiner drills him and we start on the floor. Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.
Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble. Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it. Scott’s leg may be messed up here. Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair. Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley. Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.
Lashley goes into the post and then the steps. Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9. Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8. Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same. The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it. A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least. Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it. Boring match here that was more or less just there. At least this ended the feud though. The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4th to no one really caring.
Lashley would bail soon after this and not be back for over four years. However he would quickly be back in 2014 and almost immediately in the title picture. Here he is in a title shot on Impact, June 19, 2014.
TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young
Young is on his own while King and MVP are in Lashley’s corner. A clothesline puts Lashley to the floor and a big cross body off the top puts Lashley down again. Back in and Eric’s cross body is caught in mid air but he rolls Lashley up for two. A HUGE backdrop puts the champion down again and Eric is sent to the floor. Back from a break with Eric in trouble and getting suplexed down with one arm.
The champion makes his comeback and gets two off his third cross body of the match. Lashley stomps him in the corner but misses a charge, only to come back with a kick to the ribs. Eric nails the piledriver out of nowhere but King pulls the referee out at two. Lashley nails Kenny by mistake and Eric hits a quick DDT. The top rope elbow misses though and Lashley spears him down for the pin and the title at 8:45.
Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Lashley and WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ON SUNDAY? I’m sure there’s some reason for it but given that it’s TNA I doubt they can explain it to you. Thankfully Young doesn’t come off as a worthless champion, but he’s only a step above transitional.
Lashley is a great case of a guy who is all look and some substance but nowhere near enough to be at the level WWE wanted him to be. The guy just can’t talk and it’s very obvious most of the time. He’s great as a dominator and monster, but having him as the top guy didn’t work in the slightest. Winning the TNA Title is good, but it’s WAY too late.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1995: Main Event Mabel
Summerslam 1995 Date: August 27, 1995
Location: Pittsburgh Civic Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 18,062
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
…..no. No please don’t make me do THIS show! I’ll pay you to not make me do this waste of a show. If there’s a bottom of the barrel for Summerslam and perhaps the WWF in general, this is it. The main event tonight is King Mabel vs. WWF Champion Diesel in a match that is the preferred method of torture in 19 countries. There is however one bright spot: Shawn vs. Razor II, again in a ladder match. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is like a trailer for the main event matches on tonight’s show, such as the main event, the ladder match, Bret vs. Lawler’s royal dentist and the FINAL blowoff to Undertaker vs. DiBiase’s Corporation.
Dean Douglas (Shane Douglas as a high school teacher) will be grading tonight’s matches. That’s a brilliant idea. Someone else should watch a lot of matches and grade them in detail.
Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid
The Kid is still a face here and is starting to look someone older. Hakushi is a Japanese guy who is covered in individual characters, even on his face. Feeling out process to start as they fight over a top wristlock. The Kid backflips out of a wristlock and armdrags Hakushi across the ring to take him down. Things speed up with the Kid hip tossing him down but being kicked off by Hakushi into a stalemate. They run the ropes again but both hold a rope and try superkicks but neither can connect.
Hakushi goes to the throat as Vince calls the show SummerSlime. A tilt-a-whirl slam puts the Kid down and Hakushi poses on the ropes for a few long moments. Hakushi hits a Vader Bomb for two and Vince thinks the match should be stopped. The Kid is sent to the floor and Hakushi hits a gorgeous moonsault from the mat to the floor followed by a top rope shoulder block for two back inside. A swan dive misses though and Kid sends him to the floor for a dive of his own. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two and a frog splash gets the same. The Kid tries a spin kick but gets caught in a quick powerbomb for the pin.
Rating: C+. Solid opener here with both guys looking good throughout. Hakushi really was something special and the fans would turn him face through pure love of his high flying abilities alone. The Kid would be turning heel soon after this in a move that most people didn’t care about for the most part.
Doc Hendrix (Michael Hayes) is WAY too excited about what Mabel’s master plan is for Diesel. Mabel says we have to wait and does a decent evil laugh.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly
This is the future boss’ PPV debut. Helmsley is the stuck up blue blood here so he walks around with his nose in the air. Holly takes him down with some armdrags but gets in a cheap shot to Bob’s head. Holly comes back with some kicks in the corner but runs into a knee to the face to put him down. Helmsley chokes away in the corner before hitting a HARD whip across the corner. A backbreaker gets two and a Flair knee drop gets the same.
We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: D. Well he had to get better after something like this. HHH didn’t look like anything of note but the Pedigree was a good finisher. It was actually his second finisher as he started with a Diamond Cutter but changed it quickly into his run. Holly would also completely change his character in coming years until it finally clicked with the hardcore character.
We get a video of a charity tug of war between wrestlers and Pittsburgh firefighters. It’s for charity so no jokes here.
Blue Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns
The Brothers are Jacob and Eli but are more famous as the bald Harris Brothers (also known as DOA, Creative Control, the Bruise Brothers and about ten other names over the years). Their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently (as of July 2013) Zeb Colter in WWE. Jacob elbows Billy down to start before it’s off to Eli for a slam and some elbow drops. Billy gets a quick two count on Jacob before it’s off to Bart for some arm work. Jacob whips Bart into the corner before bringing Eli back in to get caught by a cross body for two.
The Gunns get a near fall off some double teaming but Billy walks into an H Bomb (double powerbomb) to stop the momentum dead. Eli puts Billy in the Tree of Woe but tags in Jacob instead of doing anything about it. Jacob draws in Bart to allow for more double teaming and Eli gets two off a powerslam. Billy comes back with a face plant to Jacob and makes the tag off to Bart. Everything breaks down and the Blus are sent into each other, allowing the Gunns to hit the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop) on Eli for the pin.
Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as it was completely uninteresting. That’s the problem with so many parts of 1995 WWF: the people just weren’t interesting at all and there was no reason to care about a lot of the matches. All you had here was a midcard tag match that ran about six minutes. It wasn’t any good and there was no story to it, so why was I supposed to care?
We recap the rise of Barry Horowitz. He literally didn’t win a match in years but won a miracle against Skip (Chris Candido) on Action Zone. They went to a ten minute draw a few weeks later and tonight is the final chance for redemption.
Barry Horowitz vs. Skip
Skip has a 22 year old Sunny with him here, putting all the attention on her. Barry has the awesome rock version of Hava Nagila as his theme music. Horowitz starts fast and drops a knee on the fitness guru for two. A knee to the chest puts Skip down and Barry takes down the suspenders. Skip is clotheslined to the floor but Barry pulls him right back in. An O’Connor roll gets two for Barry and he suplexes Skip to the floor. Sunny tries to bring in a towel but gets ejected instead.
She doesn’t leave though and trips Barry up to finally shift momentum. A suplex and a middle rope legdrop get two on Horowitz and the beating continues. Horowitz finally gets up and hits a few shoulder blocks for two but his offense is rather limited. Skip comes back with a clothesline but the fans are chanting for Barry. A powerslam puts Barry down again and some quick legdrops get two for Skip. Off to a chinlock but Barry is quickly up, only to have both guys try dropkicks at once.
Skip is up first and gets a close two off a swan dive. The fans are starting to get behind Horowitz here, but it’s hard to care about a jobber in this big a match. A piledriver is countered and Barry starts his real comeback with a dropkick. He goes up but gets crotched again, allowing Skip to hit a superplex for no cover. Cue Hakushi who Skip cost a win earlier this week to dive over Skip, allowing Barry to roll him up for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terribly boring or anything but at the end of the day this was a ten minute match with Barry Horowitz facing Skip at Summerslam. That’s not the easiest thing to get into and is more of an historical anomaly than anything significant at all. Nothing to see here at all other than Sunny.
Dean Douglas calls the last match a travesty.
Shawn says he has nothing but the IC Title so there’s nothing Razor can do to take the title from him.
Women’s Title: Bertha Faye vs. Alundra Blayze
Blayze is defending and Faye is this rather frumpy fat chick designed to be disturbing. She also has Harvey Whippelman with him as her worshiping admirer. Alundra fires off some quickly kicks to start and the 280lb or so Faye runs her over in response. A bad looking hair pull sends Blayze down and some legdrops get two. Bertha misses a middle rope splash and a victory roll gets two for the champion. Three clotheslines get no count for Alundra as Harvey has the referee. Some middle rope dropkicks stagger Bertha but she avoids a third before hitting a Batista Bomb for the title.
Rating: F. See, Faye was fat and that’s the extent of her character. The title would literally be trashed on Nitro in a few months in the right ending for it. Nothing else to say here.
Remember how I said this show sucked? It’s somehow going to get worse.
We recap Undertaker vs. Kama. Kama stole the Urn at Wrestlemania and melted it down into a big chain which ticked off Taker’s Creatures of the Night (goth fans). They brought a black wreath but Kama destroyed both the wreath and the Creature himself. Tonight it’s a casket match.
Taker says Kama went too far.
Undertaker vs. Kama
Kama is more famous as Godfather and is the Supreme Fighting Machine here, which is kind of an MMA gimmick. Taker pounds away in the corner to start before choking Kama down, only to be kicked in the back when he looks at the casket. Taker knocks Kama over the top and onto the casket to freak him out before hitting a quick splash in the corner. Old School connects and Kama is thrown into the casket but pops right back out. A top rope clothesline puts Taker down for a second but he sits right back up.
Kama hits a quick belly to belly suplex but Taker is right back up again. He throws Kama into the casket again but DiBiase makes a quick save. Kama pounds on Taker in the corner and clotheslines him onto the top of the casket where DiBiase can get in some shots. The managers almost get into it but we’re lucky enough to get more of Taker and Kama’s slow brawling. Kama posts him and rams Taker face first into the casket. A suplex onto the casket works over the back a bit but Kame, the genius that he is, can’t open the casket with Undertaker on top of it.
They both stand on the casket and Undertaker backdrops Kama into the ring to block a piledriver. The fans get WAY into this all of a sudden but Kama takes him down with a powerslam. The genius covers Taker but he sits up a few seconds later. Off to a chinlock because this match hasn’t gone on long enough already. Bearer shoves Kama’s feet off the ropes to break up the hold so it’s off to a headlock.
Taker finally fights up but gets whipped into the corner to stop him cold again. The jumping clothesline puts Kama down and a regular clothesline puts him inside the casket, but Undertaker falls in with him and the lid closes. Kama fights out again and hits a neckbreaker in the ring to put the Dead Man down again. Not that it matters as Taker stands up, hits the chokeslam and tombstone and throws Kama into the casket for the win.
Rating: D. WAY too long for the level of “action” in this match. Also did anyone think Kama had a chance against Undertaker in a major match? There was nothing here and the match running seventeen minutes didn’t help it at all. Undertaker would move onto a feud with King Mabel which was at least different than the year of Undertaker vs. DiBiase.
We recap Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart. I’ll let Todd Petingill explain it to you in his voiceovers:
“Lawler did what he does best: got somebody else to fight his battles for him. He went out and got someone else to fight for him. He got a dentist. Yankem was a demented tooth fairy.”
Tell me that “He got a dentist” line doesn’t sound straight out of bad horror movie trailer.
Isaac Yankem vs. Bret Hart
You might know Yankem better as Fake Diesel, who you might know better as Kane. Isaac’s music is made up of dentist drills which is rather creepy. Bret wants to know if he has to fight an evil chiropractor next. The fans lose their minds for Bret, which makes you wonder why he’s fighting A FREAKING DENTIST. Isaac grabs him by the throat and sends Bret into the corner to take over early. This is his debut so Bret isn’t sure what to do with him.
Bret’s right hands in the corners don’t get him anywhere but he avoids a charge and takes Yankem to the floor with some clotheslines. A plancha takes Isaac down and a middle rope clothesline looks to set up the Sharpshooter but Isaac blocks. Instead a backslide gets two for Hart, only to have Isaac throw him into the ropes and tie up Bret’s arm. The hard whip into the corner puts Bret down and the ropes look pretty loose. Yankem stomps Bret down in the corner and puts him on his back for a choke but Hart counters into a small package.
Lawler rants about having to kiss Bret’s feet after a previous match and is thrilled when Isaac clotheslines him to the floor. Bret is rammed back first into the post and the selling is the mastery you would expect it to be. Back in and Yankem hits a top rope Fameasser for two and a pair of clotheslines for two. Bret knocks him to the floor and sends him into the steps before getting two off the bulldog back inside. The backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but Lawler breaks up the Sharpshooter.
Bret is sent into the steps again as Lawler is playing cheerleader. Yankem loads up the top rope clothesline but Bret slams him down and pounds away in the corner. Bret trips Yankem up and ties the legs around the post to stomp away before going after Jerry. Isaac escapes and dives off the top onto Bret before tying his head up in the ropes. That’s finally enough for the referee and he throws the match out.
Rating: C. This took time to get going but you could see the potential in Yankem. The problem is he was a gimmick wrestler in the vein of T.L. Hopper and Repo Man: you can only go so far with one idea. That’s why Kane was the idea that worked: it was a character that could evolve and had more than one idea to him, thereby making him interesting and someone with staying power. That’s why WWF in 1995 was so terrible: they were all about the dull one note characters and the interest never was there.
Razor Ramon says he’s ready to become a four time Intercontinental Champion and there’s nothing Shawn can do to stop it. Shawn’s pain brings him pleasure and he better be ready to dance.
Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon
This is the second ladder match and Shawn is defending. Michaels is over like free beer in a frat house at this point so Razor is the heel by default. The original plan was Shawn vs. Sid but I guess Vince decided to give the show one awesome match to go with the rest of the drek. Also Doc Hendrix is on commentary now. Vince says you would have to be Andre the Giant with a jetpack on your back to reach the belt. SOMEBODY MAKE THAT MOVIE NOW!!!
They slug it out to start and things speed WAY up until Razor avoids a superkick. A quick Razor’s Edge is escaped and we have a stalemate. Razor hits his driving shoulders and whips Shawn over the corner and out to the floor. Doesn’t that put him closer to the ladders? Shawn jumps Ramon as he goes for the ladder because SHAWN gets to bring in the ladder. Razor suplexes Shawn to the floor with Shawn hitting his knee on the barricade. You can hear Vince see Wrestlemania flash before his eyes.
Back in and both finishers miss again and they clothesline each other down. Razor kicks him into the corner and hits a middle rope fall away slam. We get the first ladder brought in as Sid watches in the back. Shawn heads to the floor as the ladder is thrown in but Razor drops him with a great right hand. Shawn shoves the ladder over to stop Razor’s climb and going up himself, only to have his tights pulled down and his leg caught in the falling ladder. Razor slams the leg in between the ladder in a smart move.
The knee is slammed into the ladder as Razor is starting to go heel mid match. He slams Shawn down onto the ladder a few times as the fans aren’t sure what to think of this. The ladder is placed on the middle rope but Shawn can’t be whipped across the ring. He can however send Razor (who has bad ribs, mentioned for the first time here) into the ladder. Razor comes right back and drops the knee on the ladder before cannonballing down onto the leg. Shawn uses the good leg to shove him to the floor, only to have Razor wrap the leg around the post.
Razor makes his climb but Shawn comes off the top with an ax handle to break it up. Both guys go up the same side of the ladder but it’s Shawn taking Ramon down with a belly to back suplex. Shawn moves the ladder into the corner and sends Razor hard into it before doing the same again in another corner. Michaels’ knee is suddenly fine as he stomps on Razor but climbs the ladder for a moonsault press. A splash off the top of the ladder misses though and both guys are done.
Ramon moves the ladder back to the middle of the ring and both guys climb very slowly. They slug it out on top of the ladder but both fall to the side, crotching themselves on the top rope. Shawn picks up the ladder and charges but falls to the floor with Razor falling out as well. Razor pulls out a second ladder and is fast enough to catch Shawn going up in a Razor’s Edge to put both guys down again.
Both guys climb a ladder but neither are directly under the belt. Shawn kicks Razor’s ladder down and jumps at the belt but crashes down to the mat instead. Ramon is backdropped to the floor on another Razor’s Edge attempt, leaving Shawn to climb up…..and fall when he tries to get the belt. Shawn is TICKED about the botch (how often do you hear about him making one of those?) and sprints up the ladder to retain.
Rating: A. This is a different kind of match than they had in 1994 but it’s still excellent stuff. The first match was all about the high spots but this was based in drama and who could survive the match. I wasn’t wild on Shawn forgetting his knee injury and the botches at the end, but that’s nitpicking an excellent match. This worked very well and was great stuff for nearly half an hour.
Razor hands Shawn the belt post match and reaffirms his face status.
Dean Douglas says the previous match wasn’t all that great and Ramon lays him out.
WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel
Diesel is defending and Mabel has Sir Mo with him. The idea here is Mabel has some kind of a Royal Plan to take the title off Diesel. Diesel fires off right hands to start but gets taken down by a big clothesline. The champion comes back with running clotheslines in the corner but can’t pick the fat man up. More clotheslines stagger Mabel and a running shot sends him out to the floor.
In the ONLY interesting spot of the match, Diesel dives over the top to take Mabel out. Mabel no sells it and sends Diesel into the post but has to stop for a Twinkie break. He finally charges into a boot and Diesel pounds away back inside. Mabel reverses a whip and hits the worst Boss Man Slam you’ll ever see. It looked like Diesel was hitting a DDT on the arm. The buckle pad was ripped off somewhere in there.
Mabel sits on Diesel’s back for another breather before hitting a slam. Mo gets on the apron as Mabel misses an elbow drop….and the referee is bumped off camera. Mo comes in for a double team and Luger runs in for the save but gets nailed by Diesel who thinks Luger is on Mabel’s side. Diesel is knocked to the floor and Mabel drops a leg before throwing the champion back in. Luger beats up Mo in the aisle as Mabel gets two off a belly to belly. A middle rope splash misses and a middle rope shoulder from Diesel is enough to retain the title.
Rating: F. Just….yeah. I’d love to know what Vince was on when he came up with this idea but it’s one powerful drug. Mabel was one of the worst heels of all time as he couldn’t move and was waddling around in shiny purple and gold. This was a terrible match as Diesel couldn’t do anything with the fattness. This might be the worst main event of all time. Luger would be in WCW in eight days on the debut of a show called Nitro.
Overall Rating: D. This show has one good thing going for it: Shawn vs. Razor is 34 minutes long counting intros and post match stuff. The rest of the show, only decent opener aside, is drek. This was a very bad time for the company as the Kliq was dominating everything (notice that they’re in the opening matches and the main events) as Bret was fighting a dentist. Things would pick up a bit by next year but the company was on its deathbed by then. This show is definitely bad but it’s not the worst show of all time.
Ratings Comparison
Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid
Original: B
Redo: C+
Bob Holly vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley
Original: D+
Redo: D
Smoking Guns vs. Blu Brothers
Original: D
Redo: D
Skip vs. Barry Horowitz
Original: B
Redo: D+
Alundra Blayze vs. Bertha Faye
Original: D+
Redo: F
Undertaker vs. Kama
Original: B-
Redo: D
Bret Hart vs. Isaac Yankem
Original: B-
Redo: C
Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels
Original: B+
Redo: A
King Mabel vs. Diesel
Original: F+
Redo: F
Overall Rating
Original: F
Redo: D
The original had higher individual ratings but the overall rating was lower. I really was bad at this.