Hulk Hogan Says He’s Wrestling At Wrestlemania XXXII
Well that certainly would be big, but they better have the perfect opponent for him. Even if it’s Hulk Hogan, I really don’t want to see him out there at 62, unless it’s in a tag match or something where he can come in, do his big spots and let someone else do the ending.
Impact Wrestling – May 1, 2015: Show Me The Crazy
Impact Wrestling Date: May 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Al Snow
This is another special episode with Hardcore Justice, which was a One Night Only special in early April. Hopefully this is a bit of a better card as that show was just a step above a nightmare. Kurt Angle is scheduled to defend the World Title against Eric Young, but that was the case last week as well. Let’s get to it.
The opening video talks about making things hardcore tonight.
Davey Richards/Hardys vs. Revolution
Street fight with Khoya/Manik/Abyss here and the fight starts in the aisle before we have time for entrances. Davey hits a nice delayed vertical suplex on Manik but Khoya is laying waste to Jeff on the floor with a trashcan lid. Poetry in Motion hits Manik and Abyss takes one as well but with a chair as a bonus. A Twist of Fate looks to set up the Swanton on Abyss but Manik makes a save. Khoya muscles Jeff off the top for a slam and pounds away as this is still all over the place. Matt cleans house with a chair and some trashcan shots until Manik takes him down with another trashcan.
Back in and a big Tower of Doom leaves only Abyss standing but Davey flips out of a chokeslam attempt and nails Creeping Death to send Abyss outside. Khoya joins his partner and gets taken down by Davey’s suicide dive. Jeff dives as well, leaving Matt to hit the Side Effect on Manik. Davey hits a top rope double stomp for two but Abyss makes the save with a chokeslam. We get Abyss’ old crotching himself on a chair spot, setting up the Twist and Swanton for the pin for Jeff at 9:43.
Rating: C+. Well that was fun. There’s no sarcasm there as these guys kept it moving for nearly ten minutes and just beat each other up. The built in story of the Revolution destroying Eddie Edwards and Jeff gave the match a purpose and the brawling held up. Good opener here.
James Storm comes out and tells Abyss that he’s failed once too often.
Mr. Anderson liked interrupting EC3 last week and has a campaign sign of his own for tonight.
Package on Billy Corgan coming to TNA. This could be good, but it could also be a disaster.
Here’s Mr. Anderson wearing a tie and behind a podium. He doesn’t care about campaign promises, but he does want to see Ethan Carter III getting a whipping. This brings out Carter with Tyrus holding a campaign sign. Fans: “YOU CAN’T WRESTLE!” Anderson: “They think you can’t wrestle.”
Anderson says that if Carter wants the title, then he needs to come take it. Carter mentions being undefeated and that gets Anderson to his point. He unveils his own sign, which says Mr. Anderson to beat the streak. That sounds like a step beneath conquering but close enough. Anderson wants a match on the live show May 8 (first mention of the match being live) but thinks we should let the fans vote. The match is on without any voting but Carter warns Anderson to tread lightly. This election gimmick is money.
X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Mandrews vs. Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud
Spud, who has injured ribs coming in, is defending in this ladder match. Everyone busts out the dives to start with Mandrews topping them all with a huge shooting star press to take out King and Uno. King makes a quick save as Spud is still down on the floor. Tigre catapults the ladder into Mandrews and King, only to have Spud shove the ladder over for the save. King nails Spud in the bad ribs but walks into a tornado DDT off the ladder. Tigre plants Mandrews with a kind of reverse Samoan drop, only to have Spud shoves him off the top.
King goes back to the bad ribs with a hard ladder shot to the bandages until Mandrews knocks Kenny to the floor. It’s Uno with the save this time as he takes Mandrews down with a C4 off the ladder. Spud wins a slugout with King but Kenny kicks him in the bad ribs. Tigre springs onto the ladder but get slammed down. The distraction lets Spud get back up, remove the bowtie, and bite King’s face. A big right hand knocks King down but Homicide breaks it up, sending the bad ribs down onto another ladder. King gets up and wins the title at 7:54.
Rating: C. What happened to this division? It used to be one of the highlights of the company but I can’t remember the last time there was a story that didn’t involve Option C and Destination X. It’s a title match, a few random matches, then a big multi-man mess with four to seven guys fighting for the belt and maybe one personality between them. Yeah the spots are cool, but I’d love to see someone actually make the division mean something again, even for a little bit.
Quick recap of Angle vs. Young.
We get to the voting for Carter vs. Anderson next week: you can vote for arm wrestling or a falls count anywhere match. The voting idea is cool, but does TNA have an app? You’re not a real wrestling company if you don’t have an app. And if TNA does have one, HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT BEEN DOWNLOADED??? THIS IS VITAL INFORMATION TO MY ABILITY TO BE A WRESTLING FAN!
Here’s Eric Young with a stretcher. Angle has wanted to see the real Eric Young, but the real version of him has been the one that has put everyone on a stretcher just like this. Tonight he has Kurt Angle in a non-title match, but that’s what Young wants. That means he can hurt Angle all he wants and put him out forever. See, Young is crazy because he has big eyes. You know who else has big eyes and is basically the exact same character as Young, but with a lot more energy and presence.
The Beat Down Clan is ready to take Drew Galloway down in the pipe on a pole match.
Rockstar Spud feels like he’s been robbed because his name was on a list with Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles. He’ll get his title back. Spud showed good emotion here and he’s growing on me more every time I see him.
Dollhouse promo with Taryn acting all psycho. She’s not worried about Brooke because it’s playtime. This is their house. The Dollhouse.
Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell
Taryn is defending but Brooke knocks her into the corner and out to the floor to start. Back in and some neckbreakers get two for Brooke but Jade trips her up, allowing Taryn to take over. She rubs Brooke’s face into the mat, starting a discussion of what the mat feels like. It’s not really funny, but at least it’s not Tazz and Tenay chattering.
A standing Curb Stomp looks to set up a high cross body from the champ but Brooke half dodges half falls out of the way. She nails a middle rope X-Factor but the Dollhouse pulls Taryn outside. That’s fine with Brooke who dives on all of them with a nice plancha. Back in and Marti offers a distraction, allowing Jade to shove Brooke off the top. Taryn’s cutter retains the title at 7:18.
Rating: C. Not bad here but there was no doubt about who was going to win here. They’re setting up a cool idea here with the Dollhouse being unbeatable and saying no one can beat her. That sounds like the calling card for one more match from Mickie James, who might just win the title and have one more run to further the wedge between her and Magnus?
The Dollhouse celebrates but Gail Kim comes out. Taryn points out that it’s three on one but Kong comes out to help even things up. The Dollhouse isn’t so sure now.
Slammiversary will be on pay per view on June 28.
Video on the Rising.
Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway
Pipe on a pole match, the second one I’ve seen Drew in in three days. Galloway has bad ribs coming in. They quickly head outside with the fans holding Low Ki for chops from Drew. Chair shots are exchanged with Drew getting the better of it but not being able to get the pipe. Drew can’t hit a powerbomb onto the chair so Ki fires off kicks to the ribs. It’s not enough to get the pipe down, but Ki kicks Drew onto the chair and hits a Warrior’s Way to drive the ribs into the steel.
That’s only good for two of course, but suddenly Ki remembers the pipe. Drew pops up to his feet and slugs it out on the top with the pipe falling to the floor. Ki knocks him into the Tree of Woe but misses another Warrior’s Way, allowing Drew to get the pipe. A shot to the ribs gets two on Galloway but he hits a quick Future Shock onto the chair (which doesn’t hurt his ribs whatsoever) for the pin at 7:25.
Rating: D+. Other than the story, there was zero need for this to be a pipe match and the pipe didn’t even play into the finish. It’s basically the same problem that killed the other pipe on a pole match, but at least they used the pipe here. I’m still not seeing the point of this feud, but this match didn’t help things.
The BDC and the Rising come out for a big brawl.
We recap Storm talking Mickie James out of her retirement last week.
Mickie James was filmed earlier today when James Storm came up to her at the market. Thankfully they were both mic’d up when Storm asked to hold Mickie and Magnus’ son.
Magnus is in the ring but Storm cuts him off before he can say anything. Storm says he wasn’t the one that said Mickie should have one more match but Magnus is getting annoyed. Mickie isn’t one of the Revolution lost souls and Storm can’t manipulate her. Storm smiles and says it was Magnus who hired a camera crew. He implies that he and Mickie used to be a thing and wonders why Mickie didn’t tell him about running into Storm in the parking lot. Good night how much better is Storm as the devil’s advocate instead of leading the horrible Revolution?
Angle says tonight is about violence and Young is leaving on a stretcher.
Eric Young vs. Kurt Angle
Non-title stretcher match but you win by strapping your opponent to a stretcher, meaning no line to cross. Angle has a bruised knee and chest coming in. They trade stomps to start with Young throwing Kurt to the floor. Both guys are rammed into the steps with Angle getting the better of it, only to get sent hard into the post as we take a break. Back with Angle reversing a whip but getting punched in the jaw. A release belly to belly puts Young down but Eric sends him outside. Young stomps him onto the steps to put Angle down, allowing him to finally get the stretcher.
Angle can’t hit the German off the apron but he can roll the Germans back inside. The third one causes a turnbuckle pad to be ripped off but they fall to the floor with Kurt still holding the grip. A low blow with Young’s shin guard slows Kurt down but the piledriver is countered into a catapult into the post. Angle hits the Slam on the floor but can’t strap Young onto the stretcher. The piledriver is countered into the ankle lock but Eric rolls him into the buckle. Now a pair of piledrivers connect and Young straps him to the stretcher for the win at 15:21.
Rating: C. And my eyes roll again. There’s no crazy, there’s no reason to believe Young is winning the title in the likely title match next week, there’s no reason for Young to have this spot over his English counterpart and there’s no reason to believe we’re not getting Carter vs. Angle in the actually interesting feud. I can’t stand this story as it’s just killing time until we get to the feud people actually want to see. Again, if Young actually acted crazy, I might care a little bit, but his matches are just standard heel matches with a piledriver as a finisher. It gets old hearing HE’S CRAZY when there’s no actual evidence of him being crazy.
Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t do it for me as the hardcore stuff didn’t change much. I like a lot of the places they’re going and next week has potential to be interesting, but they MUST get past this Young main event run as he’s just not in Angle’s league. Storm vs. Magnus, Gail/Kong vs. the Dollhouse and Galloway vs. the BDC are all good though and I could go for Spud fighting to get his title back as well. It’s a passable show, but the hardcore stuff didn’t add much.
Results
Hardys/Davey Richards b. Revolution – Swanton Bomb to Abyss
Kenny King b. Rockstar Spud, Tigre Uno and Mandrews – King pulled down the title
Taryn Terrell b. Brooke – Cutter
Drew Galloway b. Low Ki – Future Shock on a chair
Eric Young b. Kurt Angle – Young strapped Angle to a chair
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Lucha Underground Date: April 29, 2015
Location: Lucha Underground Arena, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
We now have four champions in this promotion after Angelico/Son of Havok/Ivelisse became the inaugural Trios Champions last week despite having to wrestle twice in one night. However, we’re coming up on the season finale of this show and a lot of big things are about to happen. First up tonight we have Drago putting his career on the line against Lucha Underground Champion Prince Puma. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap shows us the new champs winning their belts last week, including Angelico’s incredible dive. Tonight’s title match gets a little time as well.
Cueto yells at the Crew for botching the layup he handed them last week. He wants to give them some real motivation and takes them into a room where they meet Cueto’s brother. We can’t see him but he appears to be huge.
Fenix vs. Killshot
They actually shake hands to start before Killshot spins out of a wristlock, only to have Fenix counter right back into one of his own. The wrist stuff gets old so Killshot dropkicks him out to the floor and nails a nice dive to take him down one more time. Killshot runs right back in for a dive of his own to take over before avoiding a running kick to the face back inside. Fenix slaps him in the face but let’s look at the announcers instead of where it goes.
Killshot counters a springboard tornado DDT into a slam, followed by rolling into a cutter for two. A quick belly to back into a Backstabber gets two on Fenix as Killshot is getting in a lot of offense here. Fenix comes right back with some running kicks in the corner, only to charge into a spinning kick to the Face. Er the mask. Fenix pops back up and puts him in the reverse Tree of Woe for a knee to the back, followed by an over the shoulder sitout piledriver for the pin.
Rating: C. This wasn’t great but Killshot got in some offense and looked good with the kicks to the face. So many people use the body kicks but Killshot was looking more like a martial artist instead of your standard striker, which worked a lot better than the same stuff you see so often around here. The other stuff isn’t bad but this looked more precise.
Cueto comes in and asks Drago for a thank you for tonight’s opportunity. He’s SO good at this smarmy jerk.
Puma is getting ready when Cueto comes in to see him too. Doesn’t he ever just sit in his office with conveniently places posters while having obviously scripted promos which only start when the cameras are in place? Anyway Hernandez comes in and rants about being put in a three way tonight. Cueto calms him down by making it a #1 contenders match.
Ricky Mandel vs. Argenis vs. Vin Massaro vs. Famous B.
These are all guys who have been injured by Pentagon Jr. It’s kind of a jobber class reunion. Not that it matters as Texano comes in for the no contest after maybe ten seconds.
The beatings go on for about ten times the length of the “match” and Texano calls out Daivari to meet him in the ring.
A fan named Marty “the Moth” Martinez comes up to Cueto to ask for a shot in the temple but gets turned down for fear of being squashed like…..a moth.
Hernandez vs. King Cuerno vs. Cage
I don’t see this going well. Hernandez gets beaten down to start and again we cut away to the commentators for reasons I don’t quite understand. A double suplex puts Hernandez down and Cuerno hits a top rope splash for two, setting off the early eruption between he and Cage. Hernandez takes a breather on the floor before getting knocked back down in the corner.
Cage suplexes Cuerno in half but Hernandez does his always awesome pull up onto the top rope for a top rope shoulder. He spends a bit too much time posing over Cuerno and gets kicked in the face by Cage, who powerbombs Cuerno onto Hernandez for two. They argue again, which seems to surprise the announcers because it hasn’t happened in the last three seconds. Hernandez hits a kind of reverse Samoan drop on Cuerno but the Moth comes in and gets beaten up with ease. Hernandez dropkicks Cage to the floor, setting up a sitout Dominator for the pin on Cuerno.
Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work too well. It was a messy fight with the Moth thing not really fitting, but at least they kept it quick. Puma vs. Hernandez (come on, Drago isn’t winning that title) is going to be entertaining enough, but I don’t see him as being the big boss fight for the championship.
Vampiro sits down with the Trios Champions and asks about last week. They’re all thrilled, but Ivelisse doesn’t think the cross body was all that special. The interview breaks down into another argument.
The announcers preview the title match, which is treated as the big deal that a title match should be.
Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Drago
Title vs. career and Konnan is here with Puma. They shake hands to start before we get the “YOU CAN’T HIT ME” sequence. Drago jumps into an electric chair but headscissors the champ to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and Drago goes after the legs to try and take away the 630 but Puma shrugs it off and hits a springboard missile dropkick, followed by a huge dive of his own.
A slingshot hilo and the Dragon’s Tail get two on Drago (I’m still not a fan of move stealing but at least it’s not done that often here). Puma charges into a boot in the corner and Drago hits a big corkscrew dive for two more. Off to an arm crank with a headscissors but Konnan’s coaching helps Puma get to the ropes. Something like a fisherman’s belly to back suplex (that’s a new one) gets two for the champ but Drago comes back with a hurricanrana for the same.
Drago seems scared to go for the big move here and the fans are calling him out on it. A big blue thunder bomb gets two for Puma and he starts pounding Drago in the face. There goes the referee though, just as Drago hits a Canadian Destroyer for no count. Cue Hernandez to spear Drago but it wasn’t clear who he was aiming for. Puma doesn’t like it but hits something like a sitout Emerald Flosion for the pin to retain.
Rating: B-. This had a good story going on with Drago being worried about going insane like he usually does but not being able to reach his normal level as a result. Puma looking worried about getting rid of someone he respected made sense and we even got some bonus stuff for the future thrown in. Good stuff.
Drago gets the big hero’s sendoff. We see him leaving with Cueto waiting on him. They’ll meet again apparently and an explosion goes off as Drago disappears. Ummm……deep?
Overall Rating: C+. Good but not great show this week but they were clearly setting up some stuff for down the road. Puma is a good champion and it’s going to be a big deal when someone knocks him off. I’m curious to see where this Cueto’s brother thing goes, but hopefully it’s not towards some power struggle. Then again, I’ve said things like that before and Lucha Underground has surprised me so maybe it can work.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption has mentioned wrestling twice in a week.
On Billy Corgan signing with TNA (paraphrased): “Corgan has signed with TNA Wrestling……whatever that is.”
On the passing of Verne Gagne: A 45 second fond farewell to someone both hosts clearly knew and respected with name drops of various opponents. Guest host Bob Ryan said that in a world of rasslers, Gagne was clearly the best wrestler.
Moral of the story: there’s a difference between being on TV and being known and respected.
Smackdown – April 30, 2015: The Rivalry Of This Era
Smackdown Date: April 28, 2015
Location: iWireless Center, Moline, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler
We’re four days removed from Extreme Rules, meaning we’re two and a half weeks from Payback. Coming out of Raw, the big story is Rollins having to defend his title against Randy Orton and Roman Reigns in a three way at the next pay per view, which WWE had spoiled about a week in advance. Let’s get to it.
This episode is dedicated to Verne Gagne.
We open in the back with Kane coming into Rollins’ office. Seth yells about Kane screwing up on Monday and making decisions not best for business because they’re not best for him. Kane tells him to cool it but Seth accuses him of being jealous. Kane promises to make a man out of him, so tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ambrose because it’s best for business. Seth thinks the Kane from 20 years ago would be best for business because this one has nothing to offer.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. First up we have a shout out to his boy Dean Ambrose for his match tonight against their little brother Seth Rollins. That would be the guy that ripped down everything they had built and then cost him the World Title at Wrestlemania. Thanks to Seth, every fight he’s had has been the biggest fight of his life, so wait until he gets his hands on him at Payback. This brings out Kane and it’s time for a match.
Roman Reigns vs. Kane
Slug out to start with Kane kicking him down into the corner before planting him with a belly to back suplex. Roman low bridges him to the floor and sends Kane into the post but a side slam puts Reigns on the announcers’ table. Back from a break with Kane holding Reigns in a bearhug before just stepping on his head. Roman gets back up and wins another slugout before suplexing Kane down. A middle rope clothesline puts him down again and Roman follows it up with more in the corner.
The Samoan drop looks to set up the Superman Punch but Kane catches him by the throat for a chokeslam for two. Reigns escapes the tombstone and hits a DDT (because it’s just a transitional move), followed by the Superman Punch but the threat of a spear sends Kane running away for the countout at 9:59.
Rating: D+. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about this potential Kane face turn but it’s not working. Kane is decent enough as a power enforcer but he’s the focus of the main event scene instead of the champion or either of the challengers. That’s really the best idea they have?
Renee asks Seth about what just happened. Rollins says the difference between himself and Kane is he finds a way to win the fight instead of running away all the time. He doesn’t need the help of the WWE, the Authority, or even the Stooges.
Cesaro/Kidd vs. New Day for the titles tonight. So much for building a match up.
Damien Sandow vs. Curtis Axel
Sandow has new generic rock music and mimics the ring announcer’s introduction. This has all of a few weeks before it gets old in a hurry. Sandow introduces Axel as the village idiot of Minneapolis and the Pigeon Toed Disappointment. Axel does the shirt rip and gets caught in a headlock for his efforts. This time it’s Damien ripping his own shirt off and throwing Curtis to the floor before sitting down next to him. Back in and Curtis stomps Damien down and chokes him in the corner. A corner splash misses though and Sandow Hulks Up with three punches and a big boot into You’re Welcome (full nelson slam) for the pin at 2:30.
Ryback thinks the eater of worlds has bitten off more than he can chew. Tonight, he’s dedicating his match to Bray Wyatt when he devours Bray’s former disciple Luke Harper.
Ryback vs. Luke Harper
They grapple around to start with both guys grabbing headlocks. That’s not Harper’s style though so he slugs Ryback down, only to get caught by the Thesz press and having his head rammed into the mat. Luke comes back with a snap suplex but Ryback one ups him with a delayed vertical suplex, complete with a few marching steps. Davey Boy pounds on Dynamite in the corner but gets powerbombed down as we take a break.
Back with Ryback getting Gator Rolled until he powers Harper off, dropping him face first onto the mat. A powerslam sets up the Warrior splash for two. Ryback plants him with the spinebuster but the Meat Hook is countered by a superkick. The discus lariat is blocked with a Meat Hook though and it’s the Shell Shock for the pin at 9:39.
Rating: C. I liked this about as much as I thought I would as you have two big power guys beating on each other for ten minutes. Ryback has been treated very well since his return to form and it’s nice to see him getting a strong push. There’s always going to be room for a guy like him with the smashmouth style and putting him in there against Harper or Wyatt could make for some good power brawls.
Speaking of Bray, he appears and beats Ryback down post match.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd
New Day took the title with some cheating on Sunday. Fans: “NEW DAY SUCKS!” Woods: “NO WE DON’T!” Kofi and Kidd get things going with Kidd grabbing a quick rollup for one, putting a big smile on his face. Off to a chinlock from Tyson before Cesaro snaps off an uppercut for two. The gutwrench suplex gets the same so Kofi tries a small package. That makes Cesaro chuckle as he powers Kingston up into a suplex, walks him over to the corner and tags in Kidd for a high cross body. That’s just scary strength.
Big E. comes in off a blind tag but walks into a German suplex to keep the challengers in control. We get the NEW DAY SUCKS rhythmic stomping in the corner but a Kofi distraction lets Big E. knock Kidd off the apron to finally take over. Kidd gets caught in the wrong corner for some stomping from Kofi, followed by stomping from Big E. and a dropkick from Kofi. Kingston goes to the middle rope but dives into a dropkick. Big E. runs in to break up the hot tag attempt and we take a break. Back with Big E. holding Kidd in a bearhug before planting him with a belly to belly.
The New Day Boom Drop connects but Tyson ducks Trouble in Paradise, finally allowing for the hot tag to Cesaro. European uppercuts a go-go in the corner get two for Cesaro before a gorilla press drop gets the same with Big E. making the save. Big E. speeds things up and cleans house as everything breaks down. Kidd dives through the ropes to take out Kofi before Cesaro’s middle rope back elbow drops Big E., setting up the Swing into the dropkick but Woods runs in for the DQ at 13:35.
Rating: B. These four have awesome chemistry and this was no exception. Now if only they could have a match built up instead of just throwing it out there on a Smackdown five days after the title change. Earlier this week on Austin’s podcast, Wade Keller suggested building it up as a big time Smackdown main event like a month out. Why not? The match would rock and WWE clearly doesn’t care about Smackdown anyway.
Summer Rae and Cameron are catty about Brie and Naomi. Nikki comes out to run Summer off and stands up to Cameron for her sister’s honor. A match is made for later.
Tough Enough videos.
Cameron vs. Nikki Bella
Non-title. This is Nikki’s chance to carry a match. Naomi gets an inset interview talking about all the good the Bellas think they can do in the world. What good have those two ever done other than paying for a plastic surgeon to have a new boat? Nikki throws her down and does some jumping jacks before cranking on an armbar.
Cameron fights out of an armbar and ducks the spinning kick out of the corner. A running kick to Nikki’s back gets two and the silence as Cameron shouts at the referee is disturbing. We hit the chinlock on Nikki for a bit before she fights up and hits the second attempt at the kick out of the corner for two. The big forearm sets up the Rack Attack for the pin on Cameron at 3:56.
Rating: D+. So here’s the thing: Nikki isn’t horrible in the ring. She can even have a totally passable match more often than not. However, whether it’s “I WISH YOU DIED IN THE WOMB!” to “of course my sister forgave me for being horrible to her” to having to carry Cameron, she gets stuck with some of the worst booking I’ve ever seen. I don’t think she’s ever going to be anything special in the ring, but she’s doing what she can with what she has.
The Prime Time Players ask about the New Day and hear crickets. They introduce the New Day Clap Away box, which disappears whenever you clap enough times. You should call to put the Prime Time Players on TV and get their shirts on WWEshop.com so they can make millions of dollars.
Rollins and the Stooges come in to see Ambrose and ask him to step down instead. HHH is going to be back soon and he’ll take out his rage on anyone who was involved with this mess, including Ambrose. Dean says that sounds good but he means seeing Rollins get humiliated.
Long recap of Tuesday’s King of the Ring special with Barrett coming out with the crown.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title. Dean starts on the armbar early on, sending Rollins outside for a breather. Back in and Seth takes him down with a hammerlock but Dean reverses and kicks him in the back of the head for two. A clothesline puts Seth on the floor but Dean follows him out for a right hand to the head. The Stooges get in some cheap shots so here’s Kane to even things out, at least in theory.
Back from a break with Dean kicking him in the face but getting stomped right back down. Dean finally scores with a big clothesline followed by a barrage of chops and punches. A bulldog out of the corner sets up the standing elbow but Rollins kicks him out of the air, only to get dropkicked to the floor. Dean nails a suicide dive and takes Seth back inside for two off a faceplant. They head to the corner with Rollins pulling Dean down into the buckle bomb for two more.
Rollins and Kane are ready to get inside and celebrate but Kane stares at Seth on the kicking. A surprise rollup gets two for Dean and he backdrops Seth onto Kane. Back up and Dean dives on everyone not named Rollins, who sends Ambrose into the barricade. Kane grabs Dean and Seth by the throat, earning him a tongue lashing from the referee. Dean has to save the referee but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. That falling front DDT is enough to give Rollins the pin at 13:46.
Rating: B-. They went a different way than I was expecting here but it still worked. Kane vs. Rollins isn’t an interesting feud but they seen dead set on running with it no matter how many people fall asleep watching them. Above all else though: Rollins’ new finisher is horrible. It looks like a transitional move but it’s the finisher of the WWE World Champion. There must be something better than that.
Kane stares Seth down post match but joins the Stooges for the big beatdown. Cue Roman Reigns (coming down the ramp for a change) for the save. A double spear drops the Stooges to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. Solid show this week with good wrestling almost all around and two really solid matches. They set up more of the Reigns vs. Rollins part of the title match while leaving Orton’s part for Monday. Kane is still annoying but at least they kept it short. Anytime I get to see Ryback trading shots with another brute and New Day vs. Cesaro/Kidd, it’s a good night. Solid show this week.
Results
Roman Reigns b. Kane via countout
Damien Sandow b. Curtis Axel – You’re Welcome
Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock
Cesaro/Tyson Kidd b. New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods interfered
Nikki Bella b. Cameron – Rack Attack
Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose – Falling front DDT
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
I’m not a financial guy so these are just highlights.
The Network now has 1.3 million paid subscribers worldwide. Naturally, they’re airing May as the second straight free month because screw you fans that paid since day one.
Wrestlemania drew 259,000 buys on regular pay per view, which will help offset some of the Network costs.
Live event revenue was up big due to Wrestlemania taking place in the first quarter this time.
WWE Studios is down. I’m as shocked as you are.
Mick Foley’s Cheap Pops Network Special
Now as you may know, Foley is my all time favorite wrestler so this might be a bit biased, which is completely different than all my usual writings. This was one of the most entertaining (notice that I didn’t necessarily say funny) things that has aired on the Network so far. Foley is a guy that clearly loves wrestling and knows how to make a crowd care about him. That’s exactly what he did here as he talked for about an hour with far too topics to list.
This is one of those things where you can’t give it a preview so I’ll just say check it out because it’s really entertaining stuff and a great look at someone who knows how to entertain wrestling fans.
NXT – April 29, 2015: That Old Feeling
NXT Date: April 29, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Rich Brennan, Byron Saxton
We’re at the start of the new taping cycle this week, meaning it’s time to get ready for the build to the next Takeover special. Sami Zayn made his big return last week to go after NXT Champion Kevin Owens, which almost has to be the next big main event. Other than that, most of the card is pretty clear at this point. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Kevin Owens beating Alex Riley again, only to have Sami Zayn return and start a pull apart brawl with Owens.
Here’s Kevin Owens for a chat to get things going. He talks about having everything in hand last week and giving Alex Riley what he deserved, but then Sami Zayn had to play hero again. Owens wants Sami out here right now but gets Commissioner William Regal again. The fans start chanting for one more match but Regal says Owens won’t be using this place for his own agendas.
That’s not good enough for Owens who still wants Sami right now. Cue Zayn to fire the fans up even more but Regal stops him on the steps and says this isn’t happening. Regal looks at both of them and says this is the easiest thing he’s had to do in weeks. Obviously these two want to fight each other, so let’s do it on May 20 at Takeover. Owens chuckles but says it’s a non-title match because Zayn hasn’t earned a shot in the last month. Sami thinks Owens needs this match. It has nothing to do with last week, but over the last twelve years, Owens hasn’t done a thing without having Sami’s name right next to it.
Even now as NXT Champion, the fans are only talking about what Owens did to him. You could say that Kevin Owens has been living in Sami Zayn’s shadow. That one gets to Owens and the fans tells him he got told. Sami fights for a prize, and Owens is no prize. That’s enough for Kevin to put the title on the line and the fans strike up their OLEs. Notice how they got to this point in a totally logical way without using the phrase “contractually obligated rematch” and in less than ten minutes on screen. It can be done and all it takes is a single promo.
Enzo, Cass and Carmella are jabbering about the jewelry Blake and Murphy gave her but she says she can handle herself. The guys leave and Blake and Murphy come up and insult Enzo and Cass, which isn’t cool with Carmella. They step back so Alexa Bliss comes up, only to get shoved away. Blake and Murphy come up to Bliss but she doesn’t seem interested in hearing from them. This was kind of an odd segment and I’m not entirely sure what they were shooting for.
Sami signs his contract when Alex Riley comes up and asks for one more match with Owens. Regal snaps about giving Riley so many opportunities but Sami says don’t let Owens get to you. Riley doesn’t want to hear that from Sami so Zayn offers to fight Alex for a warmup.
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Blake/Murphy
Non-title. Before the match, Enzo calls the champs Frosted Flake Wesley Blake and the Sugar Cube Dude. You know there’s just one word to describe them. Blake and Enzo get things going but the champs quickly get Amore into the corner for some stomping. A clothesline gets two for Blake as the fans chant LET’S GO ZO.
Enzo breaks free with a jawbreaker and it’s a double tag to bring in Murphy and Cass. The big man cleans house and hits a splash in the corner before Enzo misses a high cross body. That’s so appropriate for him for some reason. Carmella distracts Blake and it’s a big boot to the face, followed by a Rocket Launcher for the pin on Blake at 3:18.
Rating: D+. I’m not wild on having champions lose as you could pretty much do the same match with any combination here. The interesting part here is Carmella, who I’m hoping joins the champs but gets dumped by them too, leaving her all alone since no one likes her in the first place.
Becky Lynch talks about traveling the world to become the best in the world. She’s here to become the best in the NXT women’s division and won’t just be another face in the crowd.
Bayley can’t find her gear and is freaking out. Emma is show with Bayley’s headbands and shirt.
Video on Baron Corbin, talking about wanting to crush the dreams of everyone in NXT. Rules don’t apply to him and that’s not his problem. This is yet another example of character development and telling us more about a character in twenty seconds than we’ve known about him in four months.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Bayley looks a bit off without her stuff but of course she has a huge smile on her face. Bayley grabs a headlock to start but Dana throws her down and flexes. The fans want Blue Pants but get Bayley taking Dana to the mat and rolling around on her back. Dana goes nuts and slams Bayley’s head into the mat a few times before doing her headstand foot choke. Wasteland gets two for Dana and we hit a half crab with a knee in Bayley’s back. Bayley gets up and gets all aggressive with elbows in the corner but cue Emma in a Bayley shirt to Bayley’s music and full entrance, allowing Dana to hit a Whiplash for the pin at 4:16.
Rating: D+. So yeah, Dana isn’t quite there yet but this was a match designed to advance Emma vs. Bayley instead of Dana’s push. Right now Dana just needs ring time and she’s got the core base figured out. Emma stealing Bayley’s stuff, which is almost Bayley’s identity, is an interesting idea and could work out well for a short feud. If nothing else it means I get to hear more of Bayley’s infectious theme song.
Regal announces a triple threat for Takeover for the #1 contendership between Finn Balor, Tyler Breeze and Hideo Itami.
Hideo Itami vs. Adam Rose
Itami looks so insulted by the Rosebuds and Adam’s entrance. This is billed as fallout from the Andre battle royal. Rose rolls around to start and eats a chop, followed by a running kick to the face for two. A quick trip lets Rose have a breather and he drops a fist for two. Rose’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Hideo hits his array of kicks, capped off by the Shotgun Kick for the pin at 2:52. Just a step above a squash.
Becky Lynch vs. Sarah Dawson
Dawson is a pretty generic looking girl but she gets half of a dueling chant. A quick rollup gets two for Sarah but Becky takes her into the corner for a good stomping. Lynch drives her down into a Fujiwara armbar before sitting up to crank even harder, drawing the submission at 2:12.
Rhyno has heard what Baron Corbin is all about but Rhyno isn’t the past. Methinks we have our power match for Takeover.
Alex Riley vs. Sami Zayn
Owens is in on commentary. Feeling out process to start as Owens asks if Riley being let out of a cage means he can’t take a shower. Riley cranks on an armbar and gets two off a dropkick. We’re in a chinlock less than three minutes in until Sami fights up, only to get caught in a TKO for two. Riley misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up the big flip dive. That’s enough for Owens as he gets up and decks Sami for the DQ at 4:40.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but they were trying to set up a match instead of doing anything interesting here. Owens going nuts and attacking everyone in sight is a good idea as it’s in his nature to be insane. Riley still looks decent in the ring but it might have gotten ugly had he tried to hang in there with Sami.
Kevin powerbombs Riley on the apron and smiles to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Yes, I’m aware that’s higher than all of the matches and you should be aware by now that there’s a lot more to a wrestling show than just the wrestling. Owens vs. Sami is going to blow the roof off the place and the triple threat and Women’s Title matches should both be great. It’s not a great show, but the energy is back after going missing for the last month or so. That’s what NXT thrives on and it’s still working here.
Results
Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady vs. Blake/Murphy – Rocket Launcher to Blake
Dana Brooke b. Bayley – Whiplash
Hideo Itami b. Adam Rose – Shotgun Kick
Becky Lynch b. Sarah Dawson – Armbar
Sami Zayn b. Alex Riley via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
TNA One Night Only – Hardcore Justice 4: That Stupid Crowd
Hardcore Justice 4 Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash
This is one of the shows that has been the definition of hit and miss. When you just let people do hardcore violence, it can make for some entertaining matches. However, when you stop caring and just let them be goofy, it turns into a huge mess that makes no sense and is more embarrassing than anything else. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is just a quick package of clips of what’s coming later. This is extreme you might say.
Wolves vs. Manik/Geat Sanada
Ladder match. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with the Wolves being beaten out to the floor, sending the Revolution off to get the ladders early on. Davey gets back in to kick the ladder into the Revolution’s faces but their double suicide dive is countered with a ladder smash. Back up and the Wolves do their toss into a kick to the chest spot followed by a German suplex to send Sanada into the ladder.
Manik throws Edwards into the air to have him crash down onto the boots before finally setting up a ladder. Everyone but Manik goes to the floor so Davey dives back in for the save. Davey can’t go up quickly because of his back so Manik pulls out an orange ladder for a change of pace (Matthews: “TAZ IS BEHIND THE LADDERS!”) but it winds up bridged in between the ropes and the standing ladder. Manik and Davey fight on the ladder until Eddie pulls Manik down.
That goes badly for Eddie as Manik springboards back up to the ladder before hitting a wicked sunset powerbomb to drive Davey into the ladder. Naturally the TNA fans barely react to a huge spot. A delayed THIS IS AWESOME chant starts up and stops in the span of ten seconds. Sanada hits a standing moonsault on Eddie before they both head up, only to have Sanada bust out the mist.
Davey shoves the ladder over though and actually does something smart by using his wrist tape to clean his partner’s eyes. The Revolution gets their heads caught in the ladder so Eddie can hit a top rope double stomp for another spot that deserves a better reaction. The Wolves go up and get the contract, which apparently is for a future Tag Team Title shot.
Rating: B-. It’s a tag team ladder match with four guys who know how to work this style. Unfortunately they’re in front of a bored crowd who doesn’t seem interested in cheering and only had about ten minutes to work with here. Good match here and for some reason I have a feeling this show just hit its peak.
Drew Galloway is fired up for his pipe on a pole match against Kenny King. There’s no mention of the Rising here because they didn’t exist when this was filmed. I like that better though as Drew has more than enough charisma to carry a match.
Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King
Pipe on a Pole. The fans are fired up for Drew so both guys immediately go for the pipe. Why not let someone get it and nail them on the way down to grab it instead of making the save? Drew gets two off a suplex, making the pipe worthless/optional. King speeds things up and collides with Drew to knock both guys outside in a big crash. It’s Galloway taking over with the fans holding King so Drew can throw chops. One of the fans hands Drew a rubber chicken to beat on King, because a STEEL PIPE is too lame.
King no sells the rubber chicken (just go with it and it’ll end faster) and jumps to the apron and spins around for a cannonball to drop Drew. They finally remember the whole pipe thing and go after it with Drew hammering King down and nailing a middle rope Russian legsweep. A German suplex drops Kenny again and a middle rope elbow gets two. King gets back up and hits a spin kick to bring Drew down from the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets another near fall. Drew still can’t get the pipe as King knocks him into the Tree of Woe. King FINALLY gets the pipe but walks into a running boot to the face for the pin.
Rating: F. For a match it was fine but the pipe could have been anything from a fight in the crowd to a good looking woman to A RUBBER CHICKEN BEING SOLD IN A WRESTLING MATCH. It was a distraction instead of anything important and that’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling, making gimmick matches a huge waste of time. The rubber chicken brings this down even further.
Rockstar Spud gives a great promo about the scar Ethan Carter put on his forehead. Tonight isn’t about pinning Carter and that’s the way Spud wants it, because tonight is about making Carter bleed.
Gunner vs. Eric Young
Tables match which is the result of Young issuing an open challenge. JB: “You can see the crazy in his eyes.” No, you can’t Borash. Gunner punches him to the floor to start and rams Eric into the apron. Young sends him into the barricade and apron like a CRAZY man but Gunner chops him down and hits a headbutt off the steps. Fans: “USE THE CHICKEN!”
Instead they get a table but Eric fights out of a suplex and actually takes it back inside for more brawling. Gunner suplexes him right back to the floor and IT’S CHICKEN TIME! JB: “He’s choking him with the chicken!” We get another table set up at ringside but Eric blocks the German from the apron. Blast it why can’t we see him knocked senseless? Gunner sets up table #3 but actually puts this one inside for a change.
Eric gets in a shot to put Gunner down though and loads up a whip into the corner. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” I like these people! Gunner is sent throat first into the ropes but is still able to break up the top rope elbow. A superplex plants Eric and Gunner hits something like a middle rope palm strike. They head to the apron, right above a table, but Gunner can’t hit a piledriver. Instead it’s a low blow from Young and a piledriver puts Gunner through the table for the win.
Rating: D+. This was still nothing good but it was MILES better than the pipe match. Young still sucks (just listening to the fans you see) and Gunner continues to be a guy just floating around on the roster. This wasn’t much of a tables match, but you get what you pay for on a show like this. Cool finisher though.
Package on Havok destroying Gail Kim over and over, eventually taking the title from her.
Gail Kim vs. Havok
Street fight. Gail rolls away from the monster to start and hits a running dropkick in the corner. Havok comes back with a shot of her own before having to block a kendo stick shot. It’s Havok getting in the first shot to Gail’s ribs before tying her in the Tree of Woe for even more ribs shots. Off to a standard choke instead before Havok lifts her up with a full nelson. Gail has to dropkick a trashcan back into Havok’s face and dives off the apron to take her down again.
Back in and Havok throws her into a chair in the corner, followed by a running knee to the face. Gail is fast enough to send her face first into the chair as well before hammering away in the corner. A spinning high cross body gets two for Kim but since it’s just a cross body, Havok kicks the chair into her face for two and loads up the chokeslam. Gail counters into a DDT on the chair for a big smash, but that’s too good of a finish so here’s Eat Defeat for the pin instead.
Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the right ending, even though Havok has just disappeared from the face of the earth since Kong returned. I still find Gail overrated, but she’s still more than good enough to carry a match like this. Good stuff here and one of the better matches of the night.
The Wolves may be banged up and half blind, but they’re going to Sizzler!
Abyss vs. Matt Hardy
Monster’s Ball of course, but the interesting thing is Christy introducing Abyss as the Swamp Suplex Machine, which has to be a rib of some sort. Matt gets one of the loudest chants of the night but Abyss easily shoves him around to start. They head outside with the fans wanting the chicken but having to settle for right hands from Hardy. It’s time for a barbed wire table with Abyss getting the better of it and bridging the table between the ring and the barricade.
A chokeslam is blocked so Matt throws in a trashcan full of weapons and whips out a cheese grater. After Abyss gets done wedging a chair in the corner, he turns around to feel a stepladder to the ribs. The fans actually chant for Abyss as he takes Matt over with a suplex, only to have Matt crotch him with the ladder. Hardy follows it up by using the chair as a golf club to drive the ladder even further in.
Abyss pops up with something made of metal to knock Hardy off the top, driving her into the barbed wire table for the match’s big spot. We get the required thumb tacks but Matt uses the cheese grater to the crotch for the save. You don’t do that even to a monster so he throws Matt into the chair in the corner.
The tacks are spread out but Matt drives him face first with the Twist of Fate, only to have his own back covered in tacks as well. The busted barbed wire table is brought back in as Matt basically no sells the tacks, only to eat an elbow to the jaw. It’s Janice time but of course it misses, allowing Matt to spear him through the barbed wire table. A Twist of Fate onto the chair gives Matt the pin.
Rating: C-. STOP HAVING THIS MATCH! They do the exact same spots with the exact same weapons, usually with the same ending and one of the same people in the match every single time. Just stop doing this match over and over again so many times, as it stopped being interesting a long time ago. Let it build up instead of just doing the same thing over and over and stop adding it in like a side salad. Let it be the main course for a change with a fresh recipe. Did I mention I haven’t had dinner yet?
James Storm says he’ll win the hardcore battle royal because he has the Revolution behind him.
Gauntlet Match
What would a One Nigh Only be without one of these? Two minute intervals and everyone has weapons. Robbie E. is in at #1 with a selfie stick and Crazzy Steve brings a bag of something. Robbie bails to the floor to start and attacks a distracted Steve from behind. Steve comes back and empties the bag to reveal…..Gummy Bears. Oh geez here we go. Robbie eats one and gets sick, setting up a chokeslam onto the Bears.
Jesse Godderz is in at #3 (OH THE SHOCK!) with a baseball bat (Matthews: “Perhaps left over from an icon?”) to try and make this serious. Steve avoids being eliminated as JB worries about the sugary goodness of the Gummy Bears. Chris Melendez is in at #4 with a nightstick, which is somehow a very welcome sight. That says a lot as Melendez is a very dull guy, but he’s better than the Gummy Bears and selfie stick.
The BroMans take over and it’s Samuel Shaw in at #5 with a wire. Nothing happens for now so it’s Khoya with a Revolution flag in at #6 as we’re still waiting on our first elimination. Khoya cleans house, including with a double clothesline to put the BroMans down. It’s rubber chicken time again (ERG!) with Steve getting in a few shots on most of the people until Crimson of all people is in at #7 (to almost no reaction from the announcers) with a trashcan lid.
Crimson and Khoya stare each other down but Shaw chokes Crimson down with the wire. Steve hits Robbie low with the chicken as there are WAY too many people in the ring at the moment. Robbie throws the chicken out but Tyrus is in at #8 with a chain, hopefully to eliminate some people. Robbie and Melendez are quickly tossed and Tyrus hammers away on Jesse in the corner.
Knux is in at #9 with a cane but it’s a cross body to put Tyrus down. Jesse is tossed and the freaking chicken is brought back in. Good grief let the stupid idea die already. James Storm and his noose with cowbell are in at #10 to hopefully make this a bit more serious. Storm is content to sit in a chair at ringside as Shaw chokes Crimson, only to have both guys fall out to the floor for a double elimination. DJZ is in at #11 with his bottle of hairspray because….yeah. Matthews loses his mind when he sees Storm’s rope wrapped around the chicken.
Tyrus hammers away in the corner and Mr. Anderson is in at #12, giving us a final group of Steve, Khoya, Tyrus, Knux, Storm, DJZ and Anderson. Mr. actually takes the mic off the cord to bring in as his weapon. That’s actually clever, unlike EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS MATCH. Anderson pounds on Tyrus in the corner and hammers away on everyone with the mic but gets taken down by Steve of all people.
Steve sprays hairspray in DJZ’s eyes for an elimination but gets tossed by Khoya. Knux follows him out and we’re down to four. Khoya misses a charge and is tossed out, leaving us with Tyrus, Anderson and Storm. The Last Call hits Tyrus by mistake and Anderson throws him over the top. Tyrus actually tries to skin the cat but it goes as well as you would expect. Storm throws a distracted Anderson out a few seconds later for the win.
Rating: F. I’d like to remind you that 95% of this match took place with the ring covered in Gummy Bears. Combine that with the chicken gag that WILL NOT JUST FREAKING STOP and I think you get why this was a nightmare to sit through. On top of that, it was a poorly run gauntlet with way too many people in the ring at the same time for the majority of the match.
Anderson Mic Checks Storm post match and eats some Gummy Bears. And puts some of them down Storm’s tights. I hate this show. Like, a lot.
Ethan Carter III brags about everything he’s put Spud through and says tonight is going to be the same all over again.
Long package on the history of Spud vs. Carter. That’s still a great story.
Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud
First blood and now with 100% fewer Gummy Bears. Carter talks about how no one makes him bleed before the match, but gets cut off by a CHICKEN’S BETTER chant. Spud comes out and has to hear another recap of the feud. Carter offers him a chance to leave but Spud turns to face him and nails Carter in the head with the mic to get things going. They head outside with Spud going after the face but stopping for his chicken pilgrimage.
Thankfully he throws it away and sends Carter into the post instead. Back inside with Carter taking over by sending Spud into the buckle a few times and dropping an elbow to the face. The freaking chicken gets another chant so Carter gives them a big sarcastic thumbs up. With Carter taking a breather, Spud removes the covering from the bolt holding the ring together.
Carter’s splash is sidestepped and his head hits the buckle, which Josh says is the actual turnbuckle. He knows this due to building a ring as a kid and having to learn all the terms. I know that sounds like the setup for a joke, but that’s actually kind of interesting. Now the fans are asking where’s the chicken. Spud gets all fired up and REMOVES THE BOWTIE to start his comeback with a flurry of punches. The Underdog connects and Carter rolls to the floor for a breather.
That sets up a huge flip dive from Spud as Carter is reeling. Cue Tyrus so Spud grabs a chair but Ethan breaks up another Underdog attempt. The referee gets bumped and Carter takes off the brace (fans: “CHICKEN KILLER!”), only to have Spud take it away and nail Carter in the mouth, drawing blood. Tyrus is quickly there with a towel to clean it up and a chain to help cheat and the match ends exactly as you would expect it to.
Rating: C-. Someone find whoever brought in that stupid chicken and cover them in batter. That thing stopped being funny about ten seconds after it was brought in and these fans have chanted for it for over an hour and a half. I know you didn’t pay to get in, but Heaven forbid you stop acting like idiots for five minutes so people can enjoy the show. And yes, I know how lame that sounds.
Tommy Dreamer says he’s bled in cages before but you can ask Raven and the Eliminators how tough he is inside the steel. Or we could ask someone who has actually been in a cage with you in the last, oh, fifteen years or so. I’m fine with Dreamer on a hardcore show. I get annoyed when they wedge hardcore in for the sake of a cheap nostalgia pop. In other words: do it naturally instead of forcing everything.
Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer
In a cage of course. The brawl starts on the floor before the bell and Dreamer puts on a rainbow mohawk wig while drinking a Coke. Well at least it’s not the chicken. Bram crotches Dreamer on the barricade but Tommy sends him into the cage door and then inside the cage to finally draw the opening bell. To further the stupidity of this show, the announcers don’t know how the match is going to end, but they think the match could spill outside the cage.
Bram does just that so he can slam the door on Tommy’s head, confusing the crowd even more. Back in and Dreamer is sent into the wall before we hit the chinlock. It is a cage match after all so that’s the level of violence you have to expect. Tommy finally comes back with a clothesline and we get a House of Hardcore chant. A bunch of punches set up a Bionic Elbow as the fans tell Dreamer he still has it.
We get a chair brought in because the cage isn’t enough and because we need Tommy to take a drop toehold onto a chair for contractual obligations. There’s the Tree of Woe/chair/dropkick/ECW chant spot. Matthews: “Tommy is always evolving and changing.” In all his years on commentary, Taz never made me laugh as much as that one line did. Dreamer hits the White Russian legsweep as Dreamer is now stealing others’ old spots. The Dreamer DDT (further proving my point) gets two so Tommy just kicks him low. Bram returns the low blow and hits the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair for the pin.
Rating: D+. See, this is the way you use Dreamer: occasionally and only when you have a hardcore show. I’m fine with him coming in for stuff like this (though not for the ECW chants) and putting someone over while getting the crowd going, but keep him off my TV every week.
Bobby Roode is ready for Lashley and can’t wait to continue their feud.
Package on the history between Roode and Lashley, who is still heel here.
Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode
Last man standing. Roode drives him into the corner to start but Lashley powers him to the mat. Back up and Lashley gets kicked in the face, setting up the Blockbuster for an early six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a very delayed vertical suplex and Lashley pounds away in the corner. We get one of the few (likely unintentional) clever bits from the crowd all night: “LET’S GO BOBBY/BOBBY SUCKS!” Roode gets caught in a dragon sleeper for a nine but the fans start chanting for the chicken again.
Back up and Roode grabs a sleeper for nine. Thankfully it’s not a long lasting nine as Lashley gets up and plants Roode with a powerslam. More chicken chants take away from Lashley superplexing Roode for a double eight count. Roode grabs a spinebuster but Lashley hits one of his own for seven. Back up and Roode nails a spear followed by the Roode Bomb. That works as well as you would expect before Lashley spears Roode out to the floor. Roode is up at nine and avoids another spear, sending Lashley into the steps. A Roode Bomb on the floor gives Roode the win.
Rating: C. This was fine but totally paint by numbers. Roode and Lashley are capable of having great matches, but there’s only so much they can do in an environment like this one. At least Roode won, which would be nice to see today after all the weeks of putting Eric Young over for a story that isn’t leading anywhere.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was awful. It’s very clear when they’re not trying on these things and it was even clearer than ever here. Making things even worse we had the most annoying crowd I’ve heard in years as they didn’t want to watch the show they were seeing and turned it into a big joke. That got old after about ten seconds so of course they kept going for over an hour. Terrible show that just kept going, though some of the guys were legitimately trying.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: