Wrestler of the Day – May 20: Brian Christopher

Turn it up. It’s Brian Christopher.

Brian got his start in his dad’s promotion in Memphis in the late 80s. We’ll pick things up with Christopher in a tag team called the New Kids on February 2, 1991.

New Kids vs. Fabulous Ones

Tony Williams of the New Kids dropkicks Stan Lane down to start as Cornette is running his mouth on commentary. Referee Miller is kicked down by Lane the Karate Master so it’s off to Christopher. Brian superkicks Steve Keirn down for two and Cornette is losing it. He goes to manage as Keirn can’t figure Christopher out. A backdrop finally puts him down so it’s off to Lane who gets caught in a quick sunset flip for two. Off to Tony who is slammed down with ease.

Jim is back on commentary to make the match that much better. The New Kids keep trying for a fast win because they can’t go man to man vs. the Fabs. Keirn slams Tony’s head into a chair on the floor and it’s back inside. Tony gets between Stan’s legs and makes the tag to Christopher. The Fabs double team him again and it’s back to the outside. Keirn is illegal and piledrives Miller for the DQ. It was a DQ at times and at times it wasn’t so it’s hard to keep up with.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but this is how you give someone a rub. The New Kids weren’t proven yet so having them hang in there with a famous team like the Fabulous Ones and even pick up a win here is a great way to make the New Kids look a lot better. The Fabs couldn’t pin them which is a major key. Not a great match, but a good rub.

Christopher would become a big deal as a heel in 1993. Here’s a match from that period on February 13, 1993.

Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

Luger and two other guys that I don’t recognize are here with Christopher. Brian says there’s no need for Lex to be here for this one but then he changes his mind. Ok then. There are no apron curtains. That’s not something I’ve seen outside of a tiny indy company. Lex sits in on commentary for this. There can’t be more than 150 people at this. Ever heard me say someone is stalling like a man from Memphis? Here’s a good example of something like that.

First contact: 63 seconds in. Christopher keeps shouting to Lex how awesome he is but in a sucking up way, not an evil way. Second contact: 100 seconds in. We’re over two minutes in and we’ve had two tieups and that’s it. Ok from what I can find, Christopher is also the Texas Champion. Jeff finally has enough and pops Brian in the face with a right hand. We finally get going as Brian hits a clothesline and stomps a bit. To be fair, Memphis was far more based on egging on the crowd than the in ring action.

A backbreaker gets two for Christopher. He misses an elbow though and Jeff grabs a rollup for two. How weird is it that these two would reach their biggest successes as totally different characters? Christopher as a dancing idiot and Jarrett as a self-obsessed heel. One of the guys that came out with Christopher grabs Jeff’s leg but he manages a DDT to Christopher anyway. Not that it matters as the other guy comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. These matches are hard to rate as there isn’t much action in them, but like I said there isn’t supposed to be. These were two fairly big names and two acts that were over as a face and a heel, which is really all you can ask for. At the same time though, there’s barely any wrestling and it was all set up for the ending, which is ok, but it’s still nothing to see.

After several more years in Memphis, Christopher would debut in the WWF as Jerry Lawler’s mentee. He would enter the fledgling Light Heavyweight division and have a match at In Your House 17.

Scott Putski vs. Brian Christopher

Putski is the son of WWF Hall of Famer Ivan Putski while Christopher is the son of Jerry Lawler. However Lawler hasn’t admitted to this yet, but instead is saying he’s a big fan of Christopher and has helped him win matches. An immediate Jerry’s Kid chant starts us off, which Lawler writes off as a reference to Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day marathon. Putski gets in the first shot and drives Christopher into the corner before tossing him out to the floor.

Back in and Brian grabs a headlock before clotheslining him down with ease. Scott comes back with a hurricanrana for two but gets caught in a full nelson leg sweep faceplant (the Skull Crushing Finale or Chris Jericho’s Breakdown) gets two. Jerry: “That’s my boy!” JR: “What?” Putski falls to the floor and Brian follows with a nice dive to take him out again. The fall seems to have injured Scott’s knee and Brian wins by countout.

Rating: D. I’m thinking there was something to that knee injury as there was no reason to end the match so soon. It didn’t last that long and I have no idea why this was on a pay per view. Putski is a good example of a guy who had a great look but had the big problem of being his father’s son. His dad Ivan was a popular wrestler and there was no way Scott could live up to his reputation.

Brian would enter a tournament for the restored Light Heavyweight Title, making the finals at In Your House 19.

Scott Putski vs. Brian Christopher

Putski is the son of WWF Hall of Famer Ivan Putski while Christopher is the son of Jerry Lawler. However Lawler hasn’t admitted to this yet, but instead is saying he’s a big fan of Christopher and has helped him win matches. An immediate Jerry’s Kid chant starts us off, which Lawler writes off as a reference to Jerry Lewis’ Labor Day marathon. Putski gets in the first shot and drives Christopher into the corner before tossing him out to the floor.

Back in and Brian grabs a headlock before clotheslining him down with ease. Scott comes back with a hurricanrana for two but gets caught in a full nelson leg sweep faceplant (the Skull Crushing Finale or Chris Jericho’s Breakdown) gets two. Jerry: “That’s my boy!” JR: “What?” Putski falls to the floor and Brian follows with a nice dive to take him out again. The fall seems to have injured Scott’s knee and Brian wins by countout.

Rating: D. I’m thinking there was something to that knee injury as there was no reason to end the match so soon. It didn’t last that long and I have no idea why this was on a pay per view. Putski is a good example of a guy who had a great look but had the big problem of being his father’s son. His dad Ivan was a popular wrestler and there was no way Scott could live up to his reputation.

Light Heavyweight Title: Brian Christopher vs. Taka Michinoku

This is a tournament final to determine the new champion. The title had actually been around for years but was only defended in Mexico and Japan while never being mentioned in American. Christopher plays to the crowd before we get going but scores with a quick slam to take over. An armdrag puts Taka down again as the Jerry’s Kid chant starts up again. Taka flips out of a German suplex and takes Brian down with a pair of kicks to the face and a clothesline to send him out to the floor. A HUGE springboard dive off the top takes Christopher out again and fires up the crowd a bit.

Brian crotches Taka on the top rope as they come back in and a dropkick sends Michinoku back to the floor. Taka avoids a dive off the apron to send Brian into the barricade but misses a cross body back inside to give Christopher control again. Now it’s Brian’s turn to miss a charge, allowing Taka to hit a tornado DDT for two. A hurricanrana sends Brian to the floor again and a top rope moonsault takes him out. Lawler goes to help his son back inside but Taka dropkicks Christopher right back down.

Back inside and a pair of dropkicks put Brian down again but Taka gets caught in a full nelson legsweep. There’s a sitout powerbomb by Christopher but he poses too much, allowing Taka to grab a rollup for two. A missile dropkick to the back of Taka’s head puts him down again and a backbreaker gets two.

Brian stays cocky by slapping Taka in the face over and over (Jerry: “Just like I slapped Andy Kaufman!”) before clotheslining him down for two. Now the release German suplex connects but Brian takes forever to cover. Instead it’s a powerslam to put Taka down but Christopher misses the top rope legdrop, allowing Taka to hit the Michinoku Driver for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Really basic match here but it made sense to put the belt on Taka at first. Christopher was just a guy who happened to be in the weight division and never fight the style at all. The match wasn’t bad or anything but the division never worked nearly as well as the company hoped it to.

Christopher would soon hook up with his long term partner Scott Taylor to form Too Much. Interestingly enough, they were going to get the Billy and Chuck gimmick but Christopher wouldn’t go for it. Instead they got to fight Al Snow and Head at King of the Ring 1998.

Too Much vs. Al Snow/Head

Yes Head, a mannequin head, is Snow’s partner. Too Much would later be known as Too Cool. We kept hearing about Snow wanting to stay but it wouldn’t work. Snow kept getting in trouble but blaming it on Head. That’s smart at least. This is in the video recap but I don’t feel like going back and editing this to make it right. Head stole the crown and they get a meeting with Vince if they win tonight.

Scotty looks weird with short blonde hair. Christopher looks stupid no matter what. Snow is in the back and Lawler talks to them and he makes fun of them and it goes nowhere. This is pre cool music but post peak of Snow’s powers. There are however a bunch of guys with Styrofoam heads bobbing them back and forth though. Jerry is announced as the guest referee to make it three on one. Oh sorry. Three on two.

Snow’s talented enough to count I guess. Oh oddly enough, Snow used to be a character called Avatar, a genie. How sad is it that Snow is more talented than all three heels combined by about 100 miles? Taylor tags in Christopher, only a master sexay at this moment I guess. Lawler has his crown on by the way. More or less this was designed to let Snow show off, which really was a good idea and something they needed to do more often.

Snow reaches for a tag and Christopher bites his hand. I’m not sure if I want to see him in the indys or not. He was terrible in the mainstream so how bad were they in a territory based company. Ross wonders who picked Lawler as the referee. My guess would be a combination of the writing team and Vince McMahon but what do I know?

I love that wheelbarrow suplex that Snow likes to use. Snow tags in Head and Ross has lost it. Snow covers Taylor as Lawler goes to the announce table and grabs something. Christopher covers head with a bottle of Head and Shoulders for the pin. Oh it was to make sure that the shoulders were down.

Rating: D+. Well it was a cute idea I guess and Snow got to show off out there, but seriously, Too Much being on my screen more than 5 minutes just makes my head hurt so this just failed completely for me. This wasn’t much and it was really just a comedy match so take it for what it is I guess.

The team wouldn’t do much for the rest of the year and then would miss a good chunk of 1999 due to injury. One of their first major matches back, now with Brian as Grandmaster Sexay and Taylor as Scotty Too Hotty, was at Survivor Series 1999.

Team Too Cool vs. Team Edge/Christian

Too Cool, The Hollys
Edge/Christian, Hardy Boys

This is just after the Hardys and the Canadians had the first tag team ladder match which would launch them into stardom soon after. Too Cool is still stupid here, as opposed to later on when they would be stupid and WAY over. The Hardys have Terri with them which wouldn’t last long. Edge and Scotty get things started as Jerry talks about Scotty’s pants. They chop it out in the corner before things speed up a bit and Edge spinwheel kicks him down.

Off to Crash vs. Matt with Matt getting two off a suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and punched to the floor. Grandmaster sneaks up on Matt for a sunset bomb to the floor. We unleash the dives as everyone small enough to hits a big dive to take out everyone that was already on the floor with Jeff capping it off. Back in and Christian powerslams Crash for two. The Hollys hit a Hart Attack on Crash Christian for two of their own and Hardcore is in.

We’re promised an update on Austin at the end of this match because THIS MATCH of all things is more important than a guy being hit by a car. Off to Grandmaster whose bulldog is countered and he goes flying so far that he kicks the camera, giving us a cool visual. Off to Hardcore vs. Edge who starts spearing a lot of people. Grandmaster stops to dance and is immediately speared down. In the big melee, Hardcore rolls up Edge for the pin. Fifteen seconds later, Scotty hits a top rope DDT to eliminate Matt, making it 4-2.

Jeff and Scotty do a fast pinfall reversal sequence before Scotty hits the not yet popular Worm. A sitout powerbomb by Scotty with Grandmaster assisting gets two as does a middle rope missile dropkick from Sexay. Too Cool hits the second Hart Attack of the match which gets two on Jeff. Everything breaks down but the Hollys get in an argument. Terri gets on the apron for a distraction which lets Christian hit both of Too Cool low. Jeff hits a 450 on Scotty for the elimination.

So it’s Crash/Grandmaster/Hardcore Holly vs. Jeff and Christian. JR goes on a rant about Austin as Christian and Jeff try some Poetry in Motion, but Hardcore comes off the top with a missile dropkick in a SWEET looking counter. Grandmaster adds a guillotine legdrop for the elimination. Christian immediately hits a reverse DDT on Grandmaster to get us down to Christian vs. the Hollys.

JR continues to brood and want an update about Austin. Jerry needling him makes me chuckle as he’s awesome at being a jerk. Crash beats on Christian for a bit before it’s off to Hardcore again. Back to Crash who gets caught in the Unprettier/Killswitch for the pin. Christian tries a victory roll on Hardcore but Bob (Hardcore for you schmucks out there) falls on top for the final pin.

Rating: C+. The problem here was that the pairing that this should have been based around, Edge and Christian and the Hardys, were on the same team rather than getting to tear the house down against each other. The other two teams didn’t mean anything and the ending of this sucked. Once the Dudleys got involved with the brother teams, it was all gravy for almost two years.

Too Cool would get Rikishi as their big enforcer around this time. The act was so popular that they moved pretty far up the card, including main eventing the February 7, 2000 episode of Raw in a major ten man tag.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

The feud with the Radicalz continued at Wrestlemania 2000.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

Remember that Tag Team Title run I mentioned? It started on Raw, May 29, 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Too Cool vs. Edge and Christian

Christian cranks on Grandmaster’s arm to start but Brian fights back with a missile dropkick. Off to Scotty for some dancing and a double clothesline. Time for the Moonwalk but Christian takes Scotty down with a spinwheel kick. Edge comes in and tries a powerbomb but Scotty botches the hurricanrana counter.

Instead he has to settle for a small package for two before it’s off to Grandmaster to clean house. His powerbomb on Christian works just fine before he and Edge fall to the floor. Scotty hits the Worm on Christian as Edge brings in a title belt. He’s knocked to the floor though and here’s Kid Rock’s midget friend Joe C. with a low blow, allowing Grandmaster to hit Edge with the belt for the pin and the titles in a big upset. The celebration is as low key as you can imagine.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see and I’m really surprised by how bored they seemed to win the belts. The title reign wouldn’t last all that long but this was a good example of the company listening to the crowd and giving someone popular a push. Too Cool winning the belts for a month wasn’t a stretch and the fans loved it. Everybody wins.

The title win would be the apex of the team’s run as they would fall down the card soon after and never recover. Scotty would get hurt so Grandmaster would have to fight on his own, including this match at Insurrextion 2001.

Grandmaster Sexay vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is one of Grandmaster’s final appearances with the company for reasons of suck I guess. Eddie lost the European Title to Matt Hardy of all people. It’s not like being European meant anything with only Regal and Bulldog being European. Eddie would be gone soon for drugs anyway so there we are. This is a very hot crowd with one Phoenix being in attendance. Yeah he was the other request.

Eddie doing the Sexay dance is hilarious to say the least. I think Eddie was supposed to be champion here as he lost it like a week earlier. Grandmaster, how do you freaking suck so much? Your dad is a legend and you’re just a freaking joke. And that’s being nice. He’s like an annoying indy gimmick that isn’t sure what his gimmick is. The crowd is ALL OVER Eddie. That’s not bad. Grandmaster misses a…something and gets rolled up with Eddie using the ropes to win from nowhere. That was really abrupt.

Rating: D+. Uh what the heck was that? Seriously it felt like it was 3 minutes short or something. Also, what the world is the idea of using these two in a match? It’s just random as but whatever. Not bad I guess. Then again this is one of those British house shows called a pay per view so it’s to be expected.

Christopher would hit the indies, including main eventing the first WWA PPV, the Revolution in a tournament final for the World Title.

WWA World Title: Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

I’ve complained about Christopher enough so far. Christopher makes gay jokes about Jarrett to start but says he wants to death. Jarrett tosses him around to start and there’s the strut. Christopher comes back with a clothesline to send Jeff to the floor….and then he lowers his pants. A neckbreaker puts Jarrett right back on the floor as we’re firmly in a Memphis formula: do a move, play to the crowd a lot, then do another move and play to them more.

They fight into the crowd, and by fight I mean punch once and walk a lot, and we lose track of them. Brian gets a drink thrown in his face and Jeff chokes him a bit. We finally get back to ringside with Brian shaking off everything that’s been done to him so far. A charge misses in the corner and Brian gets crotched. Naturally, Jarrett poses. A cross body gets two for Brian and it’s off to a sleeper from Jeff.

After nearly two minutes of that, Brian hooks his own sleeper for a few seconds. A kick puts Jeff down and an enziguri (clearly missing by about six inches) gets two. Tornado DDT gets two more and they head to the floor. Brian superkicks a referee by mistake and we head back in. Christopher “hits” a guillotine legdrop for two from a replacement referee…and the referees start fighting. Jeff wins with a guitar shot and Stroke on the belt (there was a referee brawl in between the moves).

Rating: D. Standard match that really was a big brawl with some wrestling moves thrown in. In other words, the WCW main event formula minus five run-ins. Christopher was never believable as a main event threat here because HE’S FREAKING BRIAN CHRISTOPHER. Nothing to see here but it was probably the best match of the second half of the show.

It would be off to TNA after this with Brian appearing on the second show.

K-Krush vs. Brian Christopher

They keep swapping between calling his Brian Christopher and Brian Lawler. Christopher does his Too Cool dance to the ring and the NASCAR guys with him look at him like the idiot he looks like. Krush is the evil one here which I doubt was clear coming into this. He jumps Christopher to start but Brian comes back with a neckbreaker. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for Brian but a second results in him getting crotched on the middle rope.

Krush suplexes him down to take over again, getting a delayed two in the process. He does the backflip into the splits into the side kick spot that he uses today for two. Off to a chinlock as this is going nowhere. Brian fights up, I guess doing what you would call Cooling Up. An enziguri puts Krush down as does a Stunner but Krush hits an atomic drop to put him down. The NASCAR guys shake the ropes to crotch Krush and he falls right into position for the guillotine legdrop from Christopher for the pin.

Rating: D. This felt like a random match between two former WWF guys, and that’s not something interesting. At the end of the day, why in the world am I supposed to care about the guy best known as K-Kwik yells at some NASCAR drivers? Christopher without his Too Cool partners isn’t interesting either, at least not outside of Memphis. Nothing to see here.

And again at the tenth show.

Brian Lawler vs. Slash

Apparently this is a scheduled match for later but we’re getting it now instead. Slash knocks him to the floor and throws Lawler into the barricade before peeling back the mats. He loads up a piledriver on the floor but Lawler backdrops him down to prevent presumably death. Lawler knocks Slash down and we head up the ramp for a bulldog on the ramp by Lawler. Brian tries to get a chair from a fan but the fan won’t give it up.

Back in and Slash grabs a superplex for two, followed by what we would call the Eye of the Storm. Lawler comes back with a floatover DDT but stops to dance instead of covering. There’s an enziguri from Brian and there’s even more dancing. Both guys hit the other low (in front of the referee who is cool with this I guess) before Slash puts Lawler on top. Brian knocks him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t quite work because Lawler is really hard to care about. I have no idea if he’s a face or if he’s a heel here and the lack of clarity is really annoying after awhile. Also, the dancing thing is dead but he keeps doing it anyway because it used to work a few years ago. Slash and the Disciples of the New Church continue their free fall as well.

After several more years in the indies, Christopher would fall off radar for a good while. He would eventually return to the WWE on Old School Raw, January 6, 2014.

3MB vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

This is as obvious of a match as you can get. Grandmaster and Jinder get things going with Grandmaster scoring with a quick dropkick. Off to Scotty who is still in good shape but gets punched down by McIntyre. Drew misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog sets up the WORM. Slater robs us of our gratification though and 3MB takes over again. The announcers spend the entire match arguing over whether Too Cool can be called the Hip Hop Twins, thereby making the whole thing about them instead of the legends.

Scotty clotheslines McIntyre down and makes the hot tag to Rikishi who looks incredibly slow. He does manage a superkick to Mahal for two but Slater makes the save. Rikishi clotheslines two Band members down and the Hip Hop Drop takes out McIntyre. Mahal tries a sunset flip on Rikishi but gets sat on for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. The match sucked and the commentary was annoying, but this is exactly what modern nostalgia should be about. Too Cool is an act that’s old enough for people to reminisce but not old enough that they embarrass themselves in the ring. Nobody is hurt, the fans get to have a fun moment and everybody wins. Good stuff.

This appearance got Too Cool a surprise spot on the first NXT special called Arrival.

NXT Tag Titles: Ascension vs. ???

There’s an open challenge from Ascension tonight and their opponents are…….TOO COOL??? That’s a rather bizarre choice to put it mildly. Viktor slaps Sexay down to start and doesn’t approve of the dancing. Off to Konor for a hard legdrop and even harder shoulder blocks. Viktor slams Sexay down and puts on a chinlock before driving in elbows. I think the fans say they want water and then gum. Sexay finally fights up and makes the hot tag to Scotty whose offense has very little effect. He gets the bulldog and loads up the Worm, only to have Viktor pop up and run him over. Fall of Man ends Scotty at 6:40.

Rating: D. This was WAY too long and Too Cool was the totally wrong choice for the challengers here. They’re a fun team who had a month long title reign FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. This is the problem with nostalgia: it’s fun to push every now and then, but when it’s pushed over teams that deserve the shots more, you’ve got a problem.

Brian Christopher is a guy who tried to get out of his dad’s shadow but only succeeded to a degree. His run in Too Cool is definitely the high point of his career and the crowd ate the act up. Brian’s talking in Memphis was great stuff but at the end of the day that act just didn’t work outside of the territory. Still though, he certainly wasn’t terrible and could fly well enough to get by.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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LOLWWE/WCW History

So TNA fans don’t accuse me of being unfair to TNA and holding them down or whatever their latest defense is for them having a horrible show.

 

WWE – http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=LOLWWE_History

WCW – http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=LOLWCW_History

These aren’t as detailed as the others but I’d assume they’re works in progress.




LOLTNA HISTORY

I’m not sure how long this has been around for or if it’s all accurate, but this is a very fun read (or reads as it’s also very long).

 

http://taimapedia.org/index.php?title=LOLTNA_History




Thought of the Day: Everything Turns, Turns, Turns

People say this is the solution to so many problems, but it doesn’t make sense when you think about it.So the solution all the time is to just turn the guy heel or face.  The problem with that is very simple: if they’re doing the same boring stuff over and over again but to the other half of the locker room, it’s only going to make them interesting for a few weeks.  You have to change the character itself for there to really be any difference.  It’s like saying the wood in your house is rotting so let’s paint it to make things better.  If you don’t change what’s wrong inside, just switching its direction isn’t going to fix anything long term.




Wrestler of the Day – May 19: Chris Benoit

Today is Chris Benoit.

Before I start, let me make this clear: I’m going to be focusing on Benoit’s career, not what happened at the end of his life.

Benoit is another guy where there’s too much to pick from so the timeline is gone again.

We’ll start with one of his best matches ever, made on the fly six days before Wrestlemania X7.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

On his way to the ring, Angle rips on Texas for various reasons, primarily the lone star flag. Oh and cowboy hats are stupid. This match was made on Raw because neither guy had anything to do for Wrestlemania. It’s as simple as it sounds, but do you need anything more than that for this pairing? Angle still insists that he didn’t tap out to Benoit on Raw. Heyman: “This is as excited as a man can get with his clothes on.”

Angle takes it to the mat to start which is fine with Benoit as the struggle begins. Benoit sits out and it’s a standoff, drawing a nice ovation from the crowd. It worked so well before that they do it again, drawing a bigger ovation this time. Angle hits a kind of suplex to take it to the mat for a third time but Benoit sits out again as they fight for position. They roll into the ropes for another break and the fans are pleased yet again.

Benoit takes it to the mat again and tries the Crossface, sending Angle into the safety of the ropes. Kurt bails to the floor for a breather as he isn’t sure what to do with Benoit here. Back in and Angle has to get to a rope to escape another Crossface attempt. Angle blasts Benoit with a right hand to shift the style and momentum here as they head outside. Benoit goes first into the announce table and shoulder first into the steps to keep Kurt in control.

Back in and Angle gets two off a belly to back suplex. A belly to belly gets no cover by Kurt and neither does the second one Angle hits in a row. Benoit comes back with a clothesline as the only advantage of the match so far is gone. Benoit starts slugging away in the corner before hitting a knee to Angle’s ribs. A back elbow to Angle’s face gets two as does a snap suplex ala Dynamite Kid. Benoit follows up with a superplex and holds his neck afterwards. He would be about three months from neck surgery that put him out for over a year.

Speaking of neck injuring suplexes, Benoit rolls some Germans but Angle rolls through the third one into the ankle lock. Benoit escapes that into an ankle lock of his own for good measure. The stealing finishers was one of Angle’s major deals so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Benoit tries the Crossface but Angle blocks it from going on full. Angle puts Benoit in the Crossface for good measure but Benoit gets a foot on the ropes.

Angle accidentally charges into the referee, just before Benoit puts Angle in the Crossface for an unseen tap out. Benoit releases the hold and gets caught in the Angle Slam for two. Angle’s moonsault hits Benoit’s knees, allowing Benoit to go up for the Swan Dive. That gets two, but Angle rolls through and hooks the tights for the win.

Rating: B+. It’s Angle vs. Benoit at Wrestlemania. Did you expect this to be anything less than awesome? This wasn’t as good as their masterpiece at the 2003 Rumble, but it would be a match of the year candidate on any other show. That’s what you expect from these two though, and this is an excellent match that is overshaddowed by the rematches they would have later.

Smackdown on December 4, 2003 was basically the Chris Benoit Show. Here are his two matches that night back to back.

John Cena vs. Chris Benoit

The winner gets Lesnar later tonight. Cena rhymes about the situation tonight before the match. He’s a face at this point. Benoit jumps him immediately and knocks him into the corner. This is going to be mostly brawling. Suplex gets two for Benoit. Cena comes back with the pounding to the back and a clothesline for two. They’re both trying to end this quickly for the sake of conserving energy for Lesnar later.

After a surfboard hold by Cena, a spinebuster gets two for John. Benoit is holding his ribs so Cena adds a delayed vertical suplex for two. Proto Bomb gets two as well. Cena sets for the FU but Benoit counters into the Rolling Germans and says Cena can’t see him. Swan Dive misses so Cena pumps the shoes up. Benoit comes back with chops but walks into the FU for the pin out of nowhere.

And never mind because Benoit’s feet were in the ropes for a Dusty Finish. We take a break and come back with Benoit ramming Cena’s shoulder into the mat and homing in on it to control. Northern Lights suplex gets two. Benoit chops away and hits a clothesline for two. Cena hits a hard right but that’s the bad arm so he can’t follow up. Benoit drops elbows on the arm for two.

Cena tries to go to the floor but Benoit gets him back in immediately. All Canadian right now. He cranks on the arm with a modified armbar but Cena fights back and hits the Throwback for two. Benoit trips the legs and puts on the Sharpshooter but Cena makes the rope. Benoit goes for the arm again but Cena grabs a bad FU (he fell down so it was more like a Death Valley Driver instead of the release Death Valley Driver that it usually is) and both guys are down. Big Show comes out for no apparent reason and the distraction allows Benoit to grab the Crossface for the tap out.

Rating: B-. Not a classic or anything but this was a good one. I couldn’t quite go higher than this because it never hit that next level, but Cena wasn’t ready to go there with Benoit yet. Big Show and the Dusty Finish didn’t help either but you can’t fault the guys in the ring for that. Good match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Benoit

Brock jumps Benoit during his entrance and hammers on the ribs. Benoit comes back and clotheslines Lesnar to the floor. He chops at the chest and sends Lesnar shoulder first into the post. Benoit throws Lesnar in for a Crossface attempt but Lesnar bails to the floor. Lesnar gets in a shot at the ribs and Brock takes over again. In a cool move, Brock sets for a fisherman’s suplex but holds Benoit up almost in a rack position before dropping him down.

Benoit gets sent to the floor and is rammed face first onto the announce table. Cole’s mic seems to mess up as he sounds like he’s on the arena mic. Back in because Lesnar wants to win by tapout like he promised. Off to a choke with a bodyscissors by the champion. Benoit fights up but walks into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Brock is bleeding from the nose.

We take a break and come back….with the same thing. I’m not sure if that was a break or not. Taz and Cole are whispering and I don’t think we’re supposed to hear it. I think this is footage from the break. That would explain something from Cena vs. Benoit as well as the announcers said welcome back but I didn’t see anything change. Lesnar puts the hold back on and Cole starts talking again.

Lesnar charges at Benoit and they tumble out to the floor. Benoit goes into the steps and the ribs are in big trouble. Lesnar seems more willing to take the countout win this time. Benoit pulls him to the floor and pounds away, sending Brock into the steps as well. Brock runs back into the ring but catches Benoit in a release German suplex. He charges into the corner but the shoulder goes into the post and Benoit snaps off Rolling Germans.

A shoulder block puts Brock down and Benoit hits the Swan Dive but can’t cover. A delayed cover gets two. The crowd is way into this now too. Benoit goes for the Crossface but Brock gets an arm out to block the hold. Chris settles for an armbar instead but Brock counters with an attempted side slam.

Benoit’s legs hit the referee though as Benoit grabs the Crossface. Lesnar taps but there’s no referee. Benoit lets it go and walks into the F5 which only gets two. The referee goes down again so Lesnar gets a chair and blasts Benoit’s knee with it. He hooks the Brock Lock (Benoit’s knee goes over Lesnar’s neck and Brock sits on his back while cranking on the knee) and Benoit passes out.

Rating: B+. It was around this point and possibly because of this match that there was no way the company could avoid putting the title on Benoit anymore. Lesnar would go on to feud with Hardcore Holly of all people while Benoit would go on to win the Rumble. Very good match that could have been the main event of a PPV.

Benoit would of course win the Raw World Title at Wrestlemania XX in a triple threat match against HHH and Shawn Michaels. Here’s the rematch from Backlash 2004.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit’s pop is INSANE. He puts the title in both of their faces during his entrance which is a nice touch. The champ goes after HHH to start and doesn’t want Shawn to get any of the Game for some reason. HHH is sent to the floor so Shawn and Benoit can chop it out. The Game comes back in and hits the flying knee to Shawn. Benoit is thrown to the floor and it’s the DX explosion. After a quick fight they knock Benoit back to the floor, drawing a ton of booing.

Benoit comes back in and hits Germans on both guys. Jerry says it’s hard to see who is doing what to who. No not really King, not really. Shawn gets flipped in the corner and out to the floor to get it back down to two. HHH jumps into the Crossface but Benoit lets it go to stop Shawn. Shawn’s back is rammed into the barricade twice to keep him down on the outside. Benoit goes up but HHH punches him in the jaw to slow him down.

HHH loads up a superplex but Shawn makes the save. Benoit literally falls off the top rope all the way to the floor. That’s a much scarier sight given what we know now. Shawn drops HHH in an electric chair for two. HHH comes back with a facebuster and Benoit’s Swan Dive gets two on HBK. The Game goes to the floor and Shawn’s forearm takes out the referee. Shawn goes to the floor now so we get both a Pedigree and Sharpshooter counter. The second attempt at the Sharpshooter works on HHH but Shawn makes the save. His save is countered into the Crossface but there’s no referee, so we better let go of the hold right?

Now Shawn puts the Sharpshooter on Benoit and Earl Hebner comes out to be the second referee. Ha Ha Ha it’s like Montreal yes WE GET IT ALREADY! Shawn swings at Benoit but gets caught in the Crossface again, only to have it broken up by HHH. A HHH DDT gets two on the champion. Benoit throws him over the corner and it’s back to HBK vs. Benoit. Chris gets thrown to the floor, landing on top of HHH.

Shawn tries to dive on the both of them but crashes through the table in a good explosion. Back in the ring Benoit’s shoulder goes hard into the post and then it does it a second time. Instead of going after the arm, the Cerebral Assassin puts on a camel clutch. The fans FINALLY drop the Bret stuff and chant for Benoit. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in snake eyes to put him down.

It’s basically a one on one match at the moment. Benoit ducks a right hand and puts on Rolling Germans. The Swan Dive misses and there’s a Pedigree but HHH’s cover takes awhile, allowing Shawn to come back from the dead for the save. With Benoit down, Shawn hits the forearm to put HHH down. The top rope elbow hits but again Shawn can’t cover. Shawn loads up the superkick but instead kicks Benoit off the apron to make him PURE EVIL in Canada.

HHH hits a low blow for two on Shawn and everyone is down. Pedigree is countered by a backdrop to the floor but the fans won’t cheer Shawn period. HHH comes back in with the sledgehammer, drilling it right into Shawn’s back. HHH sets for another hammer shot to Shawn but Benoit makes the save, only to get sent into the steps. The Game sets for a Pedigree onto the steps but Benoit counters with a slingshot to send that nose into the post. Back in, Chin Music is countered into the Sharpshooter and after a LONG time, it’s finally over with Benoit retaining by submission.

Rating: B+. I really couldn’t get into this one as much as the other one. There was a lot more laying around this time, but this was a different kind of match. This was all about having a Benoit showcase instead of having a masterpiece. Considering the situations here, it’s hard to argue with them going that route. It worked well enough here though and it was a great match.

Here’s one of the matches that got Benoit on the map. From the Super J Cup in 1994 in Tokyo.

Super J Cup Finals: Wild Pegasus vs. Great Sasuke

They fight over arm control to start again and Sasuke spins and flips his way out of everything. The fans cheer for Sasuke which they’ve done all night so far. Benoit chops away in the corner but what might have been a Boston Crab is countered. Sasuke kicks him to the floor and Benoit takes a breather. Back in and Benoit takes him down with a triangle choke but Sasuke counters into a modified surfboard. Benoit pops up to a standoff and things reset.

Things speed up and Sasuke starts flying around, but Benoit takes his head off with a clothesline. The Canadian hits a German on the Japanese for two. Sasuke comes back with a spinwheel kick and a legdrop for two. They fight for arm control on the mat as all of the tournament participants are watching at ringside. Sasuke gets up and tries to jump around some more but Benoit runs him over with another clothesline.

Benoit drapes him over the top rope and hits a springboard elbow of all things to put Sasuke on the floor. Back in and Benoit can’t hit his dragon suplex. Ok scratch that as it gets two. Swan Dive gets two for Benoit as does a big powerbomb. Sasuke is amazing at selling this stuff too. Benoit channels his inner Hart and slaps on a Sharpshooter (remember this is 1994 and Bret is WWF Champion so it’s a big move at this time).

The hold gets released for no apparent reason so Benoit hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Benoit misses a dropkick and gets clotheslined down. He’ll have none of that though and snaps off a great German suplex for two. Dragon suplex is countered into a rollup for two and Sasuke kicks him to the floor. In a SWEET move, Sasuke cartwheels towards the ropes and hits a spinning backflip over the top to the floor to take Benoit out.

They head back inside and Sasuke hits a German of his own for two. A fisherman’s suplex gets two for Sasuke as well but his missile dropkick misses. Sasuke goes to the apron but he suplexes Benoit over the top in a near 360 to the floor. Benoit slides back in but then right back out for some reason. Sasuke is annoyed by Benoit not making a commitment so he hits a missile dropkick to the floor. Back in and Sasuke is limping. Gee I wonder why. Top rope moonsault gets two on Benoit and a BIG reaction from the crowd. Sasuke goes up again but Benoit stops him and hits a gutwrench suplex off the top for the pin and the championship.

Rating: A+. This got five stars from Meltzer and I can’t say I can argue. They beat the TAR out of each other and there weren’t any major mistakes or botches at all in this. Benoit would go on to bigger and better things, but DANG Sasuke looked great. He kept flying higher and higher but Benoit was finally able to take him down and a wrestling move beat him. Great story to a great match.

How about Angle vs. Benoit 2/3 falls? From Judgment Day 2001.

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

Kurt grabs the mic before he starts. He says that tonight the gold medals are coming home. The crowd says he sucks so he says shut up. Tonight the medals go from against Benoit’s genitals to around his neck where they belong. Angle makes fun of the Sacramento Kings, the NBA team in town. Making fun of sports teams heat is still heat.

Nice pop for Benoit. Benoit takes the medals out and Angle jumps him. It’s aggressive Kurt tonight as he hammers away with the Rolling Germans. Angle goes up but misses a splash/headbutt and Benoit hits an Angle Slam and it’s 1-0 maybe a minute in. Dang that came out of nowhere. Crossface goes on almost immediately but Kurt gets a rope. This one is submission only remember.

Angle goes into the steps a few times as it’s all Benoit. Now he goes into the post. This hasn’t been a good 2 minutes for him so far. Benoit misses a chop so Kurt picks him up and rams him balls first into the post to shift momentum and Benoit’s voice range drastically. The fans are all over Angle here. Back in the ring and Angle tries the ankle lock but Benoit grabs the rope.

Another attempt fails and Benoit can’t get it either. He does however get a quick crossface which gets him nowhere. After a quick nothing on the floor it’s back in and Angle rakes the eyes to take over again. They’re clearly just going through stuff here but it’s not bad at all. Angle hits a belly to belly as Benoit is in trouble. Benoit reverses a whip in and almost gets another crossface but a rope is grabbed.

Angle grabs the ankle but Benoit grabs the ankle. That’s the idea here obviously: both guys are trying to grab their signature holds but neither can keep it on for any significant time at all. Out of instinct Angle tries a rollup which of course doesn’t count. Angle grabs something close to a knee bar but Benoit is in the ropes again. The referee threatens a DQ which kind of negates the whole SUBMISSION ONLY thing.

Benoit grabs a quick Liontamer of all things which doesn’t work very long but it got a great reaction. Spinning toe hold goes into a figure four but not a very good one. They roll over a few times and Benoit won’t break in the ropes. Oh never mind yes he does. Benoit focuses on the knee now which is good. It’s stupid for Benoit to do a bunch of leg work and then to try the Crossface unless it’s right there. That’s psychology there people.

Dragon screw leg whip and an ankle lock by Benoit almost works. JR: “If these ropes were a woman Angle would be going steady.” Good line. We head to the floor and Benoit is in trouble. Never mind as they’re back in already. They’re moving very quickly here. DDT by Benoit but Angle pops up and hits the Angle Slam. Uh….ok. Ankle Lock goes on and Benoit taps immediately. You could argue there that Benoit tapped that fast because he wanted his ankle to be ok for the ladder match.

The medals are hooked up and raised again. The guys are back on the floor with Benoit going into the steps. Angle brings in a ladder which is read and only 6’0 tall. That’s not something you often see here. Benoit knocks him down and gets a regular ladder but Angle rips Benoit down. Angle charges with the ladder but Benoit ducks and the ladder and Angle go to the floor.

Benoit gets it and instead of going up he hammers on Angle a bit. Such a nice psychopath. Angle somehow gets up and stops Benoit with a lot blow to take over again. The ladder is in the corner and both guys are rammed into it/crushed by it. Benoit in control at the moment. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle ropes like you often see done with chairs and Benoit goes chest first into it.

Angle gets a suplex to throw Benoit into the ladder and the Canadian is in trouble. Scratch that as Benoit is able to seesaw the ladder and drive it into Angle’s face. He puts the ladder on top of Angle and climbs. For some reason Benoit climbs down for most stomping. He goes up again and Angle is able to shove him off. Benoit grabs a Crossface out of nowhere but here are Edge and Christian. Their distraction is enough to let Angle go up and get his medals back to win the match.

Rating: A-. Very solid stuff here but dude, it’s Benoit vs. Angle. Were you expecting anything other than a classic? 2/3 falls from these guys is something that you really can’t get wrong. They did their stuff out there and it was of course awesome. There isn’t much else to say here. It’s a great match but that’s par for the course with these two.

And from the next night on Raw.

Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

Benoit and Angle would hook up and enter the tournament for the first Smackdown Tag Team Titles. Here’s the title match from No Mercy 2002.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Edge vs. Chris Benoit/Kurt Angle

This was the undisputed match of the year so this more or less has to be awesome. Edge is about as hot as possible here and Rey is pretty new here. Yeah he had been around only three months or so here. Edge is just straight up awesome here and the whole thing is just greatness. Angle vs. Rey to start us off. We have what, about 25 world titles in there? Angle takes him to the mat and slaps him in the back of the head to be a jerk.

Kurt is really the only heel in this match. He literally throws Rey into his own corner because he wants a grownup apparently. Rey won’t tag out though because he wants Angle. They had a great opener at Summerslam so this works for me. Rey can’t get out of much of anything so he steps on Kurt’s foot and hits him with what can only be called an FU.

He busts out the speed and slaps Angle in the back of the head just like Kurt did earlier. The announce table being in pieces is funny for some reason. Here’s Edge to a big old pop. This is before Edge hurt his neck so he’s a totally different worker here. Off to Benoit now. Expect a LOT of play by play here as if the reviews I’ve heard are any indication there isn’t going to be much to make fun of.

The Canadians do a much more technical sequence and it’s a lot more entertaining than you would think a side headlock should be. Edge gets a knee to Benoit’s ribs and focuses on them for a while. Flapjack and a rollup get two. And there’s a knee from Kurt as Edge hits the ropes to give Benoit an advantage. They try the same thing again but Edge spears him this time.

Benoit and Angle double team Edge in a very nice sequence. Back to Angle now. The fans are all over him which is always good to hear. Better for them to be making noise at all than to be bored. Rear naked choke to Edge and Rey is getting antsy. Tazz adds in something by saying Angle is making sure Edge is facing his partner to mess with his head. Nicely done Mr. suplex machine.

Edge gets a big boot but walks into a belly to belly for two and here’s Chris again. Here are the rolling Germans as Edge is getting the tar beaten out of him. Benoit goes a little heel by drilling Rey to keep him from making the save. Benoit goes up for the headbutt and down he comes off a big old superplex.

There’s the big tag to Rey and he cranks things WAY up. The good thing is that he’s in there against two guys that can do the same thing. He sets Benoit for a Bronco Buster but goes with a running dropkick instead. HUH-FREAKING-ZAH! Rey and Benoit crank things up ever more but Benoit gets a counter and hooks up the Crossface until Edge finally saves.

Edge vs. Angle on the floor along with Benoit and Rey in the ring. 619 is blocked by Benoit but Edge hits a missile dropkick to drive Rey onto Benoit for a long two. This is all happening at a very fast pace. Rey goes up but Angle JUMPS from the mat to the top for the HUGE belly to belly off the top for another long two. Benoit’s face is like WHAT at that.

Angle in now vs. Rey as things slow down a bit. Rey starts a bit of a comeback but gets caught in a quick suplex and crashes for two. Back to the short and crazy Canadian now. After more of a beating Rey gets a headscissors to send Benoit into the post and we get double tags to bring in Edge vs. Kurt. Edge-O-Matic gets two and everyone is back in again.

Spear in the corner to Benoit and there’s the Bronco Buster. I withdraw my former HUZZAH! Spear in the corner again to Angle and Edge sits him on the middle rope. Rey runs at Edge who throws him into the air for a big old rana. Benoit looks to save with the diving headbutt but it crushes Angle and only gets two. Angle busts out a German from nowhere for two. He shouts at Edge to go to the middle which Edge does.

In a VERY nice spot, Rey runs at Edge who belly to bellies him into Angle to take down the bald one. That’s what he gets for calling spots that loudly. Benoit saves the spear and grabs the Crossface and Edge is in trouble but he gets a rope. He won’t let go so Rey hits a 619 out of somewhere. Angle Slam takes out Rey and Angle locks on the ankle lock.

Edge kicks off and grabs a small package for two. Spear gets two as Benoit saves and Rey takes out Benoit. Rey gets a running start at Edge again and Edge catches him and gives him a very nice launch into a moonsault to take out Benoit. SICK counter out of the Edgecution by Angle into the ankle lock. Edge counters that into an ankle lock of his own but Angle is all like OH NO YOU DIDN’T and counters into an ankle lock for the tap out and the titles. Sweet goodness as Cole says he’s going to applaud them for it.

Rating: A+. OH YES. Now this is what you get when you have two teams out there that are young and moving as fast as they can to make something look awesome. Smackdown was supposed to be the wrestling show back then and it certainly was. I completely get why this was the match of the year and couldn’t argue much at all.

We’ll jump to WCW for a bit here with an attempt to keep him in the company as he was about to leave. Or they ran out of people to put the belt on and he was their last resort. From Souled Out 2000.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Chris Benoit

Sid beat Benoit for the US Title at Fall Brawl in a joke of a match that we need to get to later. Sid is pushed as the face here because Benoit was part of the Revolution, a heel group, even though he’s the more popular guy here. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Buffer calling Bischoff the #2 ranked contender in the world makes him sound a bit weak.

Now Arn gives instructions. Get on with it already. They feel each other to start and that’s more or less a stalemate. Some guys like Saturn and David Flair come out to watch. Sid sends him to the floor as more and more come out. The fans chant for Sid so he press slams Benoit with ease. Benoit goes to the knee and the fans cheer. Not sure who they’re behind here but I think it’s Sid more than Benoit for the most part.

Benoit dropkicks the steps into the knee into the post and then does it again. Back in the ring and Benoit puts on a kind of bad figure four. Sid taps his hand (which is funny as he tapped the mat to get the fans behind him in the Fall Brawl match which had to be ignored for the sake of the ending) to try to get some momentum going here and he powers out of it.

Sid is on his knees in the middle of the ring and Benoit adds a dropkick to the head. We hear the bull about the belt being around since 1905 as Benoit hits a dragon screw leg whip for two. Benoit throws on a bridging Indian Deathlock with a chinlock (Benoit is in what looks like a Matrix Move and Sid is on his stomach and Benoit pulls up on his chin. Looks awesome) and kicks Sid to the floor.

Sid Sids Up but a dropkick to the knee takes him right back down. Rolling Germans as I can feel the hackers breaking into Angle’s Twitter even though Twitter didn’t exist yet. Sid takes him down with a powerslam for two but gets caught in an ankle hook. Another German and the sign for the Swan Dive gets a BIG pop so Sid launches Benoit off to make the finishers look weak.

Chokeslam out of nowhere puts Benoit down but Sid is too weakened to do anything now. Benoit’s foot is under the ropes so that only gets two for Sid. Remember that as it becomes important later. Benoit puts the Crossface on and Sid taps to give Benoit the champion. Sid’s foot was under the rope which would become important later.

Rating: B-. This was by far the match of the night but Sid’s eternally questionable selling comes into play again here. A good thing though was that he tapped immediately, but the channeling of his inner big bald Irish dude with orange skin got old. Anyway, Benoit wins the title finally, albeit as a heel and as the fourth or fifth option but who cares?

Back to the WWF for a fondly remembered ladder match. From Royal Rumble 2001.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

It’s a slugout to start with Jericho getting a very early advantage. Benoit tries the Crossface but has to escape the Walls instead. Jericho misses a charge and hits the post before missing the springboard dropkick and crashing to the floor. Benoit posts him and goes for the ladder but stops to send Jericho into the steps. We’re only three minutes into the match though so Jericho stops Benoit’s climb. A ladder shot to the face puts Benoit down and the referee tells them they have thirteen minutes left.

Jericho lays the ladder across the top rope and of course goes face first into it as a result. Good to see that even Canadians follow the first law of wrestling. Benoit tries a suicide dive but Jericho puts up a chair, causing Benoit massive head trauma. Jericho tries to ride the ladder from the apron onto Benoit on the barricade but the other Chris moves out of the way. A ladder to the face stops Jericho again and now Benoit swings a chair.

Back in and Benoit loads up a ladder in the corner before ramming Jericho face first into it. Jericho gets up and puts the ladder in the corner again before tying Benoit’s legs between the rungs for a kind of Russian legsweep off the middle rope. Benoit comes right back with a dropkick to send the ladder into Jericho’s face and a hard belly to back suplex. The ladder is placed on the top rope again and Benoit’s face is whipped into it HARD. Jericho immediately follows up by see-sawing the ladder into Benoit’s face. Almost every one of these shots would be classified as FREAKING OW MAN.

A missile dropkick puts Benoit down again but he saves a climb attempt by Jericho. Benoit suplexes Jericho out to the floor and both guys are down again. Benoit goes up again but has to stop to kick Jericho away. Jericho gets up anyway and bends Benoit backwards into the Walls ON TOP OF THE LADDER. Benoit falls on his head but still kicks the ladder over to stop Jericho. AWESOME sequence there.

Jericho drills him with the ladder and goes up, but Benoit immediately pulls him down into the Crossface. Jericho taps out but it means nothing other than pleasure for Benoit here. Benoit sends him shoulder first into the post but Jericho comes back by sending Benoit face first into the ladder. The ladder is moved to the corner and both guys climb, resulting in Jericho being superplexed back down.

The Swan Dive hits the mat though and Benoit is in big trouble. Jericho puts the ladder on top of Benoit’s ribs, but the champion shoves it over anyway from the mat, sending Jericho face first into the buckle and out to the floor. Benoit goes up again but gets shoved out to the floor, allowing Jericho to sprint up the ladder and win the title.

Rating: A+. Take two Canadians, give them a ladder and 19 minutes and this is what you should expect. These two beat on each other HARD and the match was excellent as a result. They came up with some new stuff while mixing in basic stuff like HIT THE GUY IN THE FACE WITH A LADDER but it was so intense that it became a classic. Check this one out.

Here’s Benoit’s first major match in the WWF, from Wrestlemania 2000. It’s technically a two fall match but you could say it’s two in a row.

Intercontinental Title/European Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

This is an interesting idea. Angle holds both titles coming in and there are going to be two falls here. The first is for the Intercontinental Title and the second is for the European Title, so basically we’re getting back to back triple threats. Jericho guarantees to walk out of this match as the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah while the other two will walk out with a shirt that complains about how lousy the shirt is as well as how bad the beating from Jericho was.

Benoit jumps Angle before the bell before heading inside for a clothesline from his fellow Canadian. All three are in now and Benoit chops Jericho, only to have his belly to back suplex escaped. Benoit breaks up a springboard dropkick by Jericho before fighting with Angle on the apron. Jericho hits the previously broken up dropkick to send both guys out to the floor. He joins them immediately, only to be sent into the steps by Kurt. Back in and a belly to belly suplex gets two for Angle on Jericho.

Jericho hits a backbreaker on Angle but Benoit shoves Jericho off the top and into the announce table for good measure. Benoit covers Angle for two before suplexing him down for the same. Jericho is back in for a dropkick to his fellow Canadian but Benoit comes right back with a clothesline for two more. Jericho bulldogs Angle down but Benoit comes back with chops of his own on the other Chris. Angle suplexes Benoit down but Jericho makes the save. Very back and forth action so far.

Jericho camel clutches Benoit but has to break it up to stop a charging Kurt. Angle hits a big suplex on Jericho for two as Benoit makes another save. Benoit rolls up Jericho in the corner but Angle dropkicks his head face first into the middle buckle to break it up. Jericho loads up a double arm suplex on Angle but gets countered into a crossface chickenwing. Benoit comes back in and dropkicks Angle before sending him to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and the Swan Dive to Jericho gives Benoit the first fall and the Intercontinental Title.

Very wisely Benoit immediately covers Jericho for an attempt at the European Title but it only gets two as Kurt dives in for the save. Angle suplexes Benoit down for two but takes too long on the moonsault attempt, allowing Jericho to break it up. Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but Benoit supelxes Chris down, allowing Angle to miss the moonsault on Benoit. All three guys are down now until Angle covers Benoit for two. Jericho gets back into it with a Walls attempt on Angle, only to have the other Chris break it up.

Everyone gets back up and it’s Jericho with a spinwheel kick to take Benoit to the floor. The double powerbomb puts Angle down but Benoit comes back in for the Rolling Germans on Jericho. Benoit goes old school with a Dragon Supelx on Angle for two. Jericho hits the forearm on the referee by mistake, only to be put in the Crossface by the new IC Champion.

It gets an unseen tapout but Benoit releases, allowing Jericho to put Benoit in the Walls. Angle hits Jericho with a title belt but Benoit makes the save as the referee is awake again. Benoit suplexes Angle down again but misses the Swan Dive. Jericho slides in for the Lionsault on Benoit for the European Title to end things.

Rating: B+. Awesome match here which would have been match of the year when this style dominated in 2003. All three guys were the future generation of the company once we shifted to the technical style over on Smackdown in a few years, but here it’s just awesome instead of a match of the times. This is one of the only things that people remember from this show and with good reason: it was awesome.

Benoit would start getting pushed near the end of his WCW run, including being US Champion at Starrcade 1999. He was supposed to defend in a ladder match but his opponent was hurt. An open challenge was issued.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. ???

This is a ladder match, meaning the belt is hanging from the ceiling and you have to climb a ladder to bring it down. And it’s Jeff Jarrett. The roster is as stacked as it is so we have Jarrett appear in his third match of the night. You couldn’t possibly throw Booker T or Malenko or someone like that out there right? Tony: “Jeff Jarrett? Again?” Benoit is cool with fighting Jarrett and brings him in for a hard clothesline and an elbow to the face. A backbreaker takes Jeff down and a superplex does it even better.

Benoit brings in the first ladder but Jeff baseball slides it into Chris’ ribs before blasting him in the face to take over. Back inside and the ladder is set up in the corner but it’s Jeff being whipped into it by Benoit. The champion heads up for the belt but Jeff pulls Benoit down and crotches him on the top rope. The earlier ladder shot to Benoit’s head has busted him open. Benoit is whipped into the ladder in the corner but he comes right back for a whip of his own to put Jarrett down.

Jeff responds by putting Benoit in the ladder and dropping it back onto the champion in a painful looking landing. Benoit comes back by tying Jarrett’s legs in the ladder and hanging him upside down, only to have Jarrett shake Benoit off the ladder to put both guys down. Jarrett goes up again but gets dumped off, only to do the exact same thing to Benoit a few moments later.

Benoit gets up and shoves the ladder down again, sending a climbing Jeff down onto the ropes. Chris goes up but Jeff dropkicks the ladder from the top rope, sending Benoit crashing down in a scary fall. Back up again and Benoit rams the ladder into Jarrett’s face to put him down, allowing Chris to climb up…..and hit a Swan Dive headbutt to knock Jarrett out even colder. Benoit climbs up and keeps the title.

Rating: B-. It’s not great but this is by far and away the best match of the night so far. The fact that there wasn’t a boring and stupid story to this helped it a lot. Instead of having to adjust to some idiotic idea, they just went out there and beat each other up for ten minutes. Given what we’ve had to sit through on this show so far, that’s the best thing they could have done.

Here’s a fun one from Summerslam 2005.

US Title: Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan

Jordan, the most worthless wrestler I can think of at the moment, is defending. He took the title from Cena of all people and defended it over the course of the summer. In some of the smartest booking you’ll ever see to open a show, Benoit shoves him into the corner, snaps off a German suplex and puts Jordan in the Crossface for the submission and the title in 25 seconds.

When a guy is so bad that you can’t trust Chris Benoit with him on live TV, this is the right move. Benoit would go on to show how fast the match was by timing how long it took him to do things like go to the bathroom or have a cup of coffee, each of which lasted longer than the match. Brilliant stuff here and the crowd is instantly on fire.

This is probably Benoit’s first great American match that people actually saw. From Great American Bash 1996.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is falls count anywhere. Now this was a very interesting story to say the least. The idea is that the Dungeon and the Horsemen want to team up to fight Hogan, but these two hate each other too much. As for the real life story, these two HATED each other. There was a storyline where Benoit stole Sullivan’s storyline wife. To play up the storyline, they traveled together.

However, it soon became real life as Nancy Woman Sullivan left Kevin for Benoit. The feuds you would see on TV would often be shoots instead of works, with these two really beating the tar out of each other. It’s this match where Benoit allegedly became a big deal, and if I remember it right, that’s a very fair assessment to make.

They’re beating the living tar out of each other very early on and if these shots aren’t legit, they’re the best fakes I’ve ever seen. Almost immediately they’re out in the crowd. They go up into the stands and go into the men’s room. Benoit gets his head slammed in a stall door which has to hurt badly. For some reason there’s like 25 people in there, which shows how interested the people were in this show.

They fight over shoving the other’s head into the commode. Dusty loses his mind over a woman being in the men’s room. Sullivan lands a great shot with some toilet paper as this is just a wild fight. You really can see the mega star in Benoit just begging to be unleashed, but alas it wouldn’t happen for several years. In a very painful spot, Benoit is thrown down the stairs in the arena.

Jimmy has been standing in the ring the whole time. They say why would people want to come in and declare war? That would make a lot more sense if guys like Benoit got to fight them. Benoit vs. Nash when Nash was worth something. How’s that sound? Tony for some reason can’t get the difference between a chair and a table.

We have a D-Von Special as we get one of the old school tables, as in the oens that don’t break. They sit the table on the top rope and Benoit wins with a snap suplex off the top, which looks painful as heck. Dusty says you don’t want to get caught in the bathroom with Benoit. Anderson runs out to save Sullivan from Benoit but beats up Sullivan with him, officially reforming the Horsemen to a MASSIVE pop. The Dungeon runs out for the save as the Horsemen leave together.

Rating: A. DANG this was a wild fight. Benoit looked like a star out there and he and Sullivan just beat the tar out of each other. Benoit had everything you could want, and he didn’t even use the Crossface yet. How WCW screwed this up is truly beyond me. This match was just pure brutality, making it a very fun match all around. Not great from a technical perspective, but it wasn’t supposed to be at all. Very fun and a pure breath of fresh air given how bad this show has been so far.

What would wrestling be without a three way? For the US Title at Uncensored 1998.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is No DQ and falls count anywhere. Page is defending after invading the Benoit vs. Raven feud. It’s a triple lockup to start and now everyone stands around. Another triple lockup brings everyone out to the floor. Page is sent into the steps and the challengers fight in the ring with Benoit getting two off an elbow. Benoit stomps him down in the corner but Page comes back in to break it up. Raven and Benoit head back to the floor so DDP can hit a big dive to take them both out.

Back in again with Chris taking over and hitting a top rope splash for two on Raven. Page and Benoit slug it out to the floor but Raven dives over the top to take them both out for two on each. Page sends Benoit into the barricade but Raven charges into both of them again. Raven is whipped into the barricade and it’s Page vs. Benoit for a bit. Raven goes up by the set and comes back with a garbage can but Benoit puts it over Raven’s head so the other guys can beat on it with crutches. Benoit takes over with a crutch shot to Page’s back as they’re up by the entrance.

A trashcan to Page’s bad ribs has him in trouble and a suplex on the ramp has the ribs in even more trouble. Benoit and Raven team up for a few seconds to send Page through an Uncensored sign. Chris pulls out a kitchen sink of all things to hit Raven in the head but Raven throws a table at his head. Raven comes back with a velvet rope to choke Benoit but Chris whips Raven through the table. Page is still down as the other guys head back to the ring.

Benoit chokes Raven with the velvet rope but Raven hits him low to change momentum again. Now it’s chair time but it’s Raven taking the drop toehold into the metal. Page is slowly crawling back to the ring as Benoit whips Raven into a chair in the corner to send him to the floor. Back in and Benoit puts on a sleeper but Page comes in to put one on Benoit at the same time.

Raven hits a jawbreaker to put everyone down. Why Benoit’s leg being on Page isn’t a cover I’m not sure. Chris gets up and rolls the Germans on Raven but Page gets up to German suplex both guys at the same time. The challengers both knock Page down and Lodi hands in a stop sign to crack Page in the head. Now it’s a table as Benoit stands around. Raven puts Page on the table but Benoit cracks Raven in the head with the sign. Benoit takes Raven to the top for a superplex through Page through the table but Page knocks Benoit to the floor and Diamond Cuts Raven “though” the table to retain.

Rating: A-. This was a wild brawl before the wild brawl became the norm in wrestling. Benoit and Raven did most of the work here as Page laid up by the sign but that’s to be expected. The match was fun though and was exactly what it was supposed to be: a big ECW style battle (with a bunch of ECW spots) on a mainstream stage.

Here’s a singles version, from Souled Out 1998.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is one of the best built matches WCW has had in a long time with Benoit having to face every member of the Flock before finally getting his hands on Raven. Raven has sent all of his lackeys to attack Benoit time after time and tonight Benoit FINALLY gets his hands on their leader. The Flock comes out to back Raven but are ejected by an executive order. Raven rants about being shunned all his life and being fine with it here. The match is also Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes.

Raven starts with a baseball slide before Benoit is even in the ring. Benoit is sent into the barricade and then the steps before heading inside for a backslide on Raven for two. Benoit is sent right back to the floor so Raven can blast him in the back with a chair. Back in and Benoit is snapmared and bulldogged down onto the chair for two. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold onto the chair (Dusty: “YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT!”) but can’t immediately follow up.

Chris hits the snap suplex onto the chair for two of his own before ripping Raven’s shirt off. Raven bails to the floor and gets caught by a baseball slide before being sent into the steps. That’s a nice callback to what Raven did to open the match. Bird Boy stumbles up the aisle with Benoit chopping him down along the way. There’s another snap suplex on the ramp to put Raven in big trouble. Back in and Benoit stomps the chair into Raven’s head before hitting the Swan Dive onto the chair but both guys are out.

Benoit finally covers for two but can’t even stand up to keep the pressure on Raven. A northern lights suplex is countered into Raven’s DDT but Raven is too weakened to cover. It’s Benoit covering Raven for two before putting on the Crossface. Raven doesn’t try to escape and instead smiles at the pain. He laughs himself into unconsciousness in a creepy moment to end the match.

Rating: A. If there’s a better Raven match out there I’d love to see it. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was brutal throughout. This is the kind of emotional response you can get to a well built feud. The place went NUTS for Benoit’s win, which makes you wonder why he was wasted for so long in WCW.

Post match Kidman comes out for the save but Dean Malenko runs out to put him in the Cloverleaf. The rest of the Flock comes in but Dean and Chris fight them off.

Speaking of Dean Malenko, here he is against Benoit at Hog Wild 1996 with a long explanation post match.

Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit

This works. Jimmy Hart is with Malenko. Now there’s an odd combination. Liz is in leather. This WORKS. Even Woman looks good. Dusty says Benoit is coming out with two devilish women and he’s talking about Woman and Liz. Wow I thought you meant the two flies on his head. So Malenko is the hired gun of the Dungeon apparently to get Benoit out of the way in the endless Dungeon vs. Horsemen feud.

I would tell you they start with some technical stuff but I figured that was obvious. That goes away soon and we’re in straight physical stuff here with Benoit being in control less than Malenko. Dusty talks about the women at ringside which makes sense as he says Dean has to watch out for them. Ok, that’s fine. Tony uses this to talk about Konnan who isn’t on the main card tonight. Benoit takes over and just beats Dean up a lot.

NOW we hit the technical stuff and the pinfall reversals that you knew were coming. Dang these guys are crisp. That was very impressive. Seriously did you expect anything else? Benoit does the short arm scissors lift that Davey Boy Smith was so famous for doing to Shawn Michaels, showing that it’s more of a leverage thing than power. Tony says these two are the wrestlers of the new century for WCW.

That’s just amazing to hear knowing what’s coming. Tony tries really hard to not insult bikers, which makes him all the more insulting. Heenan talks about how awesome the midcard is and my mind continues to be blown over how WCW managed to screw everything up with the talent they had. Malenko gets a jumping tombstone as I’m trying to figure out who is face and who is heel here.

That was the issue with the NWO: EVERYONE became at least half face. That’s fine in some cases, but for others it just didn’t work at all as there are some people that you just don’t want to cheer. It’s fine if you have people that are never associated with the NWO angle, but EVERYONE was. That can’t work and it didn’t at all. Dang these two are physical. Heenan plugs the TV shows which you likely needed to watch in order to see this show. Brilliant indeed Bobby.

Benoit hooks the Liontamer before it’s called that. Benoit busts out a dive over the ropes as the fans are DEAD. That’s in no way the problem of the wrestlers either as this has been a great match. This is the problem with having non-fans, who we now go to a wide shot of, being in attendance as they’ll cheer Hogan. I’d bet on it. Dusty talks about how tired they are and points out that he’s talking about the guys in the ring.

Dang where would I be without the Dream? Benoit hits a nice powerbomb which he should have used more often. We hit a minute to go, which means this match had a 22 minute time limit. And there’s the draw. Actually scratch that as we’re getting a 5 minute overtime. SWEET. The fans boo the HECK out of this. Yeah screw this incredible match that has two guys busting themselves to death for YOUR entertainment at a show you’re not even paying to see.

I guess because they’re not 6’8 and don’t weigh 300lbs they’re not worth watching. One person shouts to get this nonsense out of the ring. I didn’t know fans like that could get in the ring in the first place. Also, don’t call yourself nonsense. It’s not nice. Benoit is clearly ticked off at the fans and I can’t blame him a bit. Benoit hooks the Cloverleaf on Malenko to be evil. Benoit goes for the knee and Dean is in trouble. Fans continue to be dead for this.

We have a minute to go and Benoit is dominating. Dean gets a rollup at 3 seconds left for two. WE GET ANOTHER OVERTIME BABY! We’ve gotten 25 minutes of Benoit vs. Malenko….and you can’t hear Dusty over the fans booing. I’ll spare the rant for the rating.

Benoit hits his finisher, the Dragon Suplex (Full Nelson into a suplex) for two as the Crossface didn’t exist yet for him. Malenko gets the Cloverleaf but as Benoit is almost in the ropes he shifts into an STF. And then Woman goes for Malenko and Benoit hooks a rollup to end it. Very good match.

Rating: A-. This was great stuff but the ending hurt it a lot. These two had mad chemistry together and this was no exception. Giving them nearly half an hour is fine as they looked like they had been out there for about 5 minutes at the end. It’s no wonder that they were such sought after guys by WWF. However, there was one reason why this match was hurt, which brings me to this.

This match sums up WCW’s demise in a nutshell. Everything they wound up doing wrong to just die is summed up right here. To begin with, they’re making NO gate money for this show. The fans can come and go as they please. In other words, with five thousand people here at say 20 dollars a person, that’s 100,000 dollars they’re just not getting, and that’s being conservative with it.

We’ll also ignore any potential money from parking, concessions and likely merchandise as there is no indication of anyone wearing anything other than leather out there that I can see. The reason we’re in Sturgis, South Dakota of all places and having a wrestling show at a biker rally you ask? The only answer I can find anywhere is that Eric Bischoff likes motorcycles. Seriously, THAT’S why we’re here.

If that’s not enough reason, as soon as Bischoff was out of power, this show was canceled. They came here FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. But wait, remember that there was a line in there about these two being the wrestlers of the century for WCW. Well since these four PPVs were around the end of the century, one could assume that they would have moved closer and closer to the main events right?

Let’s see. Benoit’s position on the card over these four shows: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, Off the card, 5th out of 9. Malenko: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, 7th out of 9 (as a referee and not a wrestler), 3rd of 9. On the other hand, let’s compare these guys to Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash. Nash: Next to last, next to last, next to last, main event. Hogan: Main event all four years. But remember that Hogan and Nash were DRAWS BABY!

Yeah the fans are going to pay to see them….except at this show because WCW didn’t get any ticket money here but pay no attention to that. Keep in mind that the fans will boo these two but cheer Hogan. Why do I have an image of Hogan talking to the higher ups and saying well they cheered me and booed those guys. What more proof do you need that I should be on top of the card?

The problem is these fans are all drunken bikers that likely never even watch the show. Yeah, coming from a freaking biker rally really looks cutting edge doesn’t it? I’m sure this got away completely from the wrestling fans are hicks theory. It was an amazing match, but it’s a microcosm of the things that killed the biggest wrestling company in the world.

This is a match that I’ve always wanted to cover but have somehow never reviewed. From October 4, 1999 on Nitro in a tribute match to Bret’s recently deceased brother Owen in the same building that he passed away in.

Bret Hart vs. Chris Benoit

Both are faces here and this is nothing more than a showcase, even though Benoit is TV Champion. Harley Race does the intros to make this really special. Bret grabs a headlock to start before they fight over a top wristlock. Hart holds the ropes to avoid a monkey flip but Benoit nips up before Bret can do anything. Very technical so far. Chris bridges out of a test of strength and wraps Bret’s arms across his own throat to get a breather.

A hammerlock has Bret on the mat and the fans chant for Owen. Off to a double arm crank on Hart but Bret reverses into one of his own. Thankfully Bret is actually holding Chris’ wrists unlike Scott Hall who would be keeping himself in the hold whenever that was reversed. Benoit flips out with a dropkick to the chest but gets caught in a Russian legsweep to put him down again.

We hit the chinlock from Hart followed by a hard knee to the ribs to drop Chris one more time. A DDT sets up the middle rope elbow for two for Hart but Benoit grabs a rollup for two. He doesn’t let go of the legs though and turns it into a Boston crab. Bret is quickly in the ropes but gets caught in a backbreaker for two as we take a break.

Back with Benoit getting two off something we didn’t see but Bret comes back with the headbutt to the lower abdomen. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock by the Hitman as things settle down a bit. Another backbreaker puts Benoit on the mat and Bret rams him into the apron. Back in and Benoit spins out of another backbreaker and hits a jumping tombstone for two. A northern lights suplex gets another two for Chris and he fires off the headbutts.

Benoit stomps away in the corner but Bret holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick and a few elbows get two. Bret charges but his cross body hits the ropes to send him outside. Chris hits a big dive through the ropes to put both guys down and we take our second break. Back again with both guys rolling each other up for two followed by Bret stomping away in the corner. They trade rollups for two each again until Bret nails a swinging neckbreaker.

A superplex puts Benoit down but he counters the Sharpshooter into the Crossface but Bret is right next to the ropes. Chris rolls some vertical suplexes and calls for the Swan Dive. He goes to the furthest corner and nails the headbutt for a slightly delayed two. The fans chant for Bret and he comes back with an elbow to the jaw. A piledriver gets two on Benoit as he puts his foot on the ropes.

Benoit gets to do Bret’s chest first bump into the corner but comes out with some hard chops. Bret tries a clothesline but gets caught in the Rolling Germans. The Crossface is blocked and they go to the mat with Bret manuevering his legs so that he stands up in the Sharpshooter. The fans freak out over that awesome trap by Bret and Benoit has to give up.

Rating: A. This was an excellent wrestling match. Bret worked over the back to set up the Sharpshooter and Benoit tried everything he knew but at the end of the day it was Bret winning with a counter to Benoit’s best hold and a very smooth move into the Sharpshooter. That’s exactly what it was supposed to be and it was more than an awesome match. The crowd respected it too. This is the last great match that WCW had and the last time Bret was actually motivated in a wrestling ring.

Here’s all the summary you need for the next match: Benoit, Angle, Ultimate Submission, Backlash 2001.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

30 minute time limit, most submissions win. Angle says Chicago is full of fat sweaty pigs and needs winners. He makes fun of the city which is kind of funny. There’s a thirty second rest period between falls. After some feeling out stuff to start, Angle takes it to the mat and Benoit is all cool with that. Ankle lock doesn’t work so Kurt hits the floor to think for a bit.

This is going to be a long one as the clock is on the screen the entire time. Back in the ring and Angle takes Benoit down which gets him nowhere. Back to the mat again and this time to the floor. Benoit gets the Crossface out there and Angle taps but they’re outside so it doesn’t count. Five minutes in and no falls yet. Angle tries to bring in a chair as we stall a bit. With half an hour I can understand that though.

Back in and Angle is holding his shoulder a lot. And never mind as he was faking since he charges straight in and grabs the ankle lock for the quick tap. You could argue Benoit tapped early to prevent further damage but it still looks kind of weak by Benoit. Angle works on the ankle/knee but charges into a Crossface attempt. That doesn’t work so Benoit shifts to a cross armbreaker to tie us up.

Benoit rams Angle’s shoulder into the post and there’s the armbreaker again but Kurt leans forward to avoid a lot of the pressure before making the rope. Shoulder breaker by Benoit and he goes after Kurt, only to take out the referee at the ten minute mark. Angle gets a chair shot to the head and the ankle lock makes it 2-1. Angle jumps him during the rest period and you can’t really DQ him I guess.

Angle puts on a Crossface seconds later to make it 3-1. Maybe 10 seconds between the end of the rest period and the tap. Kurt hammers him some more and rams his face into the announce table. Benoit backdrops Angle to the floor but doesn’t take the time to breathe. Kurt’s shoulder goes into the post but Benoit’s everything goes into the steps. Ankle lock goes on but it’s still on the floor, meaning Benoit tapping doesn’t mean anything.

We go back in with fifteen minutes left and a 3-1 lead for Kurt. Benoit avoids a cross armbreaker by Kurt which wastes some time. Off to an abdominal stretch which Benoit counters into another cross armbreaker attempt but he can’t get the tap. Out of almost nowhere Benoit gets a Sharpshooter, only for Kurt to make the ropes again. A German is countered into a half Liontamer by Benoit (he used it before Jericho in WCW) for the tap to make it 3-2.

Kurt heads to the floor and it’s time to play defense. Benoit catches him pretty easily and sends him into the steps. Kurt tries to run again and the fans aren’t thrilled at all. With ten minutes to go Angle catches Benoit coming in and they slug it out a bit. Benoit can’t get back in for a bit and Kurt stomps him when he does. Angle hits a snap suplex back inside and keeps trying for the ankle lock.

Out to the floor again and they chop it out. Back in and Benoit gets a dragon screw but can’t hook the ankle. Benoit misses a dropkick and Angle locks in some freaky looking hold before going to a chinlock. Five minutes left as Benoit gets his arm up before a third drop. With four minutes left Benoit breaks the hold with a jawbreaker. And never mind as Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.

Belly to belly by Kurt which is scary considering how long they’ve been out there. Another hits with three minutes left. Benoit manages to grab some Germans but gets reversed into an ankle lock which he reverses into an ankle lock of his own to tie it up at 3 with just over two minutes to go. The clock keeps running during the thirty second rest. Chop block by Benoit with 1:20 to go. Minute left and it’s German time again. Low blow by Kurt breaks that up but the ankle lock is broken quickly. Ankle lock goes on fill with 8 seconds left and we’re done. Benoit taps after the bell ends in a draw.

Just like in 96 though with Shawn and Bret, it’s time for some overtime, first submission wins it. If it continued though, why wouldn’t the tap just after the bell have ended it? Angle hammers him and the fans aren’t thrilled with him. They go to the mat and Angle grabs an abdominal stretch down there. There’s a Crossface out of nowhere and Angle taps for the ending. Like Benoit was losing in sudden death.

Rating: B. It was entertaining, but the main idea of Benoit vs. Angle is all about having them go back and forth with insane counters until one of them finally gets caught in something. That was taken away here and it brings the match down a lot. To be fair it’s still good but by comparison it’s definitely not as good.

If Wrestlemania XX is Benoit’s best match ever, this beats anything else for second place. From Royal Rumble 2003.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle

Team Angle is immediately ejected to make sure it’s one on one. Benoit grabs a headlock to start before trying the Sharpshooter to send Angle to the floor. Back in and Angle goes for the ankle but gets dropkicked away. Benoit grabs a kind up reverse Figure Four but Angle grabs the rope. This is all holds/counter holds so far. Benoit gets sent shoulder first into the post followed by an Angle suplex for two.

They chop it out with Benoit taking over and hitting a reverse clothesline to take Angle down. Angle drops Benoit across the top rope but gets guillotined down by the Canadian. They head to the apron with Benoit DDTing him down onto the side of the ring. The champion has a busted nose now. Back in and the Swan Dive misses but Benoit rolls out of the Angle Slam. There’s the Sharpshooter to Angle who eventually gets to a rope. A belly to back suplex gets two for Chris but Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly (just one so far).

Back to the floor where Benoit gets dropped onto the barricade to further mess with his head. Off to a rear naked choke back inside so Kurt can overly loudly call some spots. Angle catches Benoit in another belly to belly followed by a belly to back for two. Back to the chinlock for a bit until a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit rolls some Germans but so does Angle. And people wonder why their necks were held together by tape.

Benoit gets the final German but Angle runs the ropes to hit the belly to belly off the top to put both guys down. That gets two but the Angle Slam is countered into the Crossface. Angle gets the rope, so Benoit shifts to an ankle lock. Angle reverses into one of his own and now Benoit is in trouble. Benoit goes to kick off but instead grabs another Crossface. Kurt counters into a rollup but Benoit put the Crossface on the other (right) arm this time. Angle stands up and hits the Angle Slam but can’t immediately cover.

Angle takes the straps down but another German attempt is countered into a rollup for two. They trade HARD Germans until Benoit hooks a release German to put both guys down. Before anyone asks, the difference between this and the previous match with the suplexes is how hard these are. Steiner looked like he was at a dance recital but here they look like they’re trying to kill one another. Not to mention there’s OTHER STUFF in between the suplexes.

Benoit hits the longest diving headbutt you’ll EVER see, but he can’t cover because of his head getting jarred like that. Angle counters the Crossface into a reverse powerbomb onto the buckle. The Angle Slam gets a VERY close two as the crowd is losing their minds. Back to the Crossface but Angle rolls through into the ankle lock. Benoit rolls over but can’t break the hold. He kicks Kurt off but Angle goes right back to the hold. Benoit keeps trying to kick him off but Angle hooks the grapevine and Benoit has to tap.

Rating: A+. That’s your match of the year right there people. Oh wait according to Meltzer there was some match in Japan that no one but him ever saw and that has to be better than this right? Anyway, these two DESTROYED each other with some absolutely amazing counters and awesome sequences out there while suplexing the tar out of each other. This both guy’s best match ever, and that’s saying A LOT.

Benoit gets a standing ovation, showing that he was ready to be world champion. Naturally that’s why he had to wait fifteen months to get the title, because the world was BEGGING for another Steiner match, the Nash feud with HHH, and the Goldberg run of doom. Ok Goldberg I can live with but the other two? Screw that.

I’ve mentioned it enough times now so I have to close out with this: the main event of Wrestlemania XX.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Benoit

HHH (and his big white boots) bail to the floor as the other two chop it out. They head to the mat with Benoit bridging up into a backslide attempt but Shawn blocks. The Crossface doesn’t work but Benoit gets two off a northern lights suplex. The Game comes back in to take over and he slugs both guys down. Shawn is thrown over the top rope for some skinning of the cat but comes back in to pound away at the champion in the corner.

The high knee takes Shawn down for two and a less high knee puts Benoit on the floor. Benoit has his back rammed into the barricade but Shawn baseball slides both of them onto the concrete. That is followed up by a big moonsault to the floor to take out all three guys and wow the crowd a bit. Shawn and HHH go back inside but Benoit has to come in with a clothesline to break up a Pedigree. Shawn goes shoulder first into the post at the hands of the Canadian but HHH ties Benoit up in the Tree of Woe.

Michaels whips HHH into Benoit and rolls up the champion for two before nipping up, only to be clotheslined out to the floor by Benoit. Chris rolls some Germans on the champion but Shawn comes back to break up the Swan Dive. HHH DDTs Shawn down and superplexes Benoit for a pair of two’s. Benoit gets a weak Crossface on HHH but Michaels makes the save. Now Shawn tries to roll Germans on Benoit but you can’t do that to a Canadian (without being Kurt Angle of course), and Benoit reverses into Germans of his own on Shawn.

The Swan Dive hits Shawn for two as HHH makes another save. HHH low bridges Benoit to the floor and it’s time for DX to fight again. Shawn drops the top rope elbow on HHH and there’s Sweet Chin Music for good measure but it only gets two. Benoit makes the save and it’s time to chop a Canadian. Michaels has to fight off the Sharpshooter but can’t avoid a catapult into the post. There’s the Crossface on Shawn but HHH grabs Shawn’s hand to prevent tapping. That catapult into the post busted Shawn open too.

Out to the floor they go with HHH whipping Benoit into the steps to put him down. HHH loads up the announce table but Benoit fights him onto said table. Benoit fights out of a Pedigree attempt but here’s Shawn on the table as well. A double suplex/slam sends Benoit flying through a table and it’s down to one on one for all intents and purposes. HHH pounds away on Shawn in the corner but gets backdropped out to the floor, taking out the referee in the process. Shawn sends him into the post to bust the champion open too.

Back in and HHH hits a Pedigree out of nowhere but he’s too exhausted to cover. Eventually he does but Benoit pops in to break it up at the last second. Shawn falls out to the floor as Benoit chops the champion. The Pedigree is countered into the Sharpshooter but Shawn comes back in with Sweet Chin Music to break it up, but only for two. Michaels tunes up the band again but misses the superkick and gets backdropped to the floor. Benoit hooks the Crossface on HHH and holds onto it even as Benoit rolls into the middle of the ring until HHH taps out, giving Benoit the world title.

Rating: A+. I can’t stand triple threat matches but this is a masterpiece. They were so crisp with everything and while Shawn didn’t need to be there at all, it was still an excellent match. Benoit winning was the absolutely right decision (and would have been the year before as well) but it was the feel good moment they needed.

Eddie comes out to celebrate with his friend as confetti falls to end the show.

Chris Benoit is one of the finest in ring performers ever. He was so intense and able to wrestle with anyone at all on a mat. When you can regularly bring out the best in Kurt Angle, there has to be something to you. Some of those matches he had are as memorable as anything else and the stretch he had in 2003 into 2004 is as good and solid of a run as you’ll ever see. Benoit was an outstanding performer and that’s all there is to it for his in ring career.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 18: Hercules

Time for a strong guy! It’s Hercules.

Hernandez got his start back in the very late 70s and often played a masked character. One of those was Assassin #2, who appeared at the first Starrcade in 1983.

The Assassins vs. Rufus R. Jones/Bugsy McGraw

This is one of those matches with no given story behind it. Jones is the reigning Mid-Atlantic Heavyweight Champion at this point, McGraw is a fat guy and the Assassins are guys in black sweaters and pants with yellow masks. They’re called Assassin #1 and #2 so it’s not going to be easy to remember which is which. Bugsy starts with we’ll say #1 and the match is shockingly fast paced to begin. Bugsy drops him with a shoulder block but both guys miss elbow drops. A slam sends #1 to the floor and the fans are VERY into McGraw.

Back in and they lock up with McGraw hitting a quick elbow to the head before pounding away on #1 over and over to knock him into the corner. Here’s Assassin #2 who is much smaller than his partner. Another slam puts #2 down and it’s off to Rufus for an even louder ovation. He gyrates a lot and pounds away as the cameraman seems to slip, sending the shot all over the place. Rufus works on #2’s arm with some headbutts before it’s back to Bugsy.

The Assassins make a tag but #1 winds up running away from McGraw instead of fighting him. #1 grabs the wrist and cranks on it a bit but Bugsy looks much more annoyed than anything else. Bugsy elbows his way out of trouble and brings Rufus back in for more headbutts to the shoulder. Jones pounds on #1 in the corner and knocks him down with a hard Irish whip. Assassin rakes him in the eye to finally take over but the advantage lasts for all of ten seconds before Jones fires off some headbutts to the ribs.

Back to Bugsy for some wild punches to take over. Everything breaks down until it’s just McGraw backdropping I think #1. In a pretty bad ending, #2 causally walks into the ring and rolls up McGraw for the fluke win. The referee seemed to be perfectly fine with the lack of tagging there.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the crowd reactions for McGraw/Jones were great. I have no idea what the point was in having the Assassins win here was as they were in control for roughly ten seconds out of just over eight minutes. Nothing to see here at all and the ending sucked the life out of the crowd.

That didn’t last much longer as Hercules (then called Hercules Hernandez) went to Mid-South and became a pretty big heel. Here’s a big tag match from August 19, 1984.

Dusty Rhodes/Jim Duggan vs. Hercules Hernandez/Butch Reed

Street fight. The good guys clean house to start and the crowd is so loud you can’t even understand the announcer. We finally settle down to Dusty hammering on Reed to start but Hercules gets a few elbows as well. Rhodes stands tall (and fat) as the heels bail to the floor. The referee settles things down and it’s Reed hiding from Dusty in the corner. Butch finally comes out but gets elbowed right back down to the floor as we’re still in the “let’s not really do much yet” period.

Reed comes in again and gets punched and elbowed a lot. Duggan finally comes in to stare down Hercules and nail him with a big clothesline. A bunch of right hands in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble and Duggan slams him down for good measure. Back to Dusty who stomps on Hercules’ head before Duggan slams it into the mat.

Duggan found a belt from somewhere and everything breaks down with the heroes in full control. More rights and lefts have Hercules in trouble as Jim Cornette gets on the apron for a cheap shot to slow Duggan down. Everything breaks down and Reed nails Duggan in the head with a chair before Hercules rams him into the post.

Now it’s Dusty getting double teamed in the ring but he fights back and cleans house as Duggan is back in to help. A double clothesline puts the heels down but Dusty is whipped into Duggan. Cornette blinds Duggan with powder as Dusty drops the big elbow on Hercules. Reed sneaks in and kicks Dusty in the back of the head though, allowing him to steal the pin.

Rating: C+. This was more of Dusty’s style: a high energy match that kept the fans into things and didn’t involve him having to actually wrestle. I’m not a fan of the guy but he’s more than capable of driving the fans into a frenzy at the drop of a hat. Mid-South always had some insane crowds so they were way into this. Fun match which is often better than it being good.

After a few more years in the territories, Hercules would head to the WWF where he probably had his most fame. One of his first high profile matches was at Wrestlemania II. His spot was originally going to go to Bret Hart, but the WWF saw more potential in Hercules. No one ever said they were all that bright in 1986.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Hercules Hernandez

Lee Marshall of non-fame in WCW is the announcer. This was supposed to be Steamboat vs. Hart but WWF saw more star power in Hernandez. This wasn’t their best time from a thinking standpoint. Hercules pounds on him to start but Steamboat goes to the arm as is his custom. A kick to the ribs puts Hernandez down and it’s off to an armbar. Back up and Steamboat does some leapfrogs before elbowing Herc down.

We head to the armbar again until Hernandez rams him into the buckle and hits a clothesline to take Steamboat down. A hot shot has Steamboat in trouble again but he comes back with a failed slam attempt that gives Hercules two. A pair of elbows get two more due to a very lazy cover. Hercules hits a tilt-a-whirl slam for two and there’s a gorilla press slam to go with it. Make it a pair of gorilla presses but Hernandez’s splash hits knees, allowing Ricky to hit the top rope cross body for the pin.

Rating: C-. Very basic match here with power vs. speed, although most of the speed guy’s offense involved an armbar. That’s something you have to get used to in Steamboat matches though so it’s not a disappointment or anything. The match itself was pretty dull stuff but Steamboat in the 80s is never a bad thing.

Hernandez would get Bobby Heenan as a manager around this time and since he was a strong man, Hernandez would get a WWF Title shot at Saturday Night’s Main Event #8.

WWF Title: Hercules vs. Hulk Hogan

Before the match we have promos from both. Heenan says that his credit is good anywhere which means very little. Hercules says he’s already the champion just without the belt yet. We cut to a shot of Hogan’s chest doing the pec dance with hard nipples.

He says he’s checked Hercules out and Hercules might be a Greek god. To continue his completely insane promos, Hogan says he’s been hanging out in the Garden of Eden with his main squeeze Eve to prepare to face a Greek god before going 20,000 leagues under the sea to see the Titanic. Apparently the power lies in the palm of his hand. If there has ever been proof that cocaine was rampant in the 80s, this is it.

Back in the arena, Jesse is only confused about the power in his hand part, which might be the most normal part of what he said. He thinks Hogan has lost it and will lose the title here. This is a standard title defense, but Hogan apparently said this is his ultimate title defense. Remember this is before Mania 3 and Hogan is in the middle of his multi-year long feud with Heenan and his goons.

We hit the test of strength and it’s the same as happened at Mania 6. Even Jesse is having a hard time trying to sell Hercules as a major threat to Hogan. He’s still called Hernandez here which was phased out almost completely soon after this. Hogan has yellow tights and boots and blue kneepads. That just looks odd. In a cool looking spot, Heenan is being chased by Hogan and dives over the top rope in a great looking jump.

I mean he cleared that thing and landed on his feet in one movement. For your unintentional comedy of the match, Jesse says that Hogan looks good on his knees. After some very brief work on the back which was more or less back breaker and bear hug, Hercules goes to the backbreaker submission, more commonly known as a torture rack.

Jesse of course can see and hear Hogan quit but in this case Hercules lets him go early. That’s just flat out stupid from a kayfabe sense. Hogan hits the power kickout and you can connect the dots from there. Vince says this is a celebration of Hulkamania. Well that’s better than saying Wrestlemania was a celebration of life.

Rating: D+. This was what it was. It’s about 8 minutes long and is Hogan with a very generic title defense. This was to do nothing more than get Hogan on television and have him look good, so if nothing else it accomplished that goal. Hercules was as cookie cutter of a wrestler as you could ask for, so this went well enough. It’s nothing special but it did its job. The length was good too as it got the story told in a brief method.

Here’s a little historical curiosity from November 30, 1986.

Hercules vs. Jack Foley

I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Hercules easily takes him down as Luscious Johnny V. and Monsoon keep admiring Hercules’ physique. A wicked clothesline puts Foley down and the Rack gets the submission. Total squash.

He was in a big battle royal at SNME X, just before Wrestlemania III.

Battle Royal

André the Giant, Ron Bass, Demolition (Ax and Smash), Billy Jack Haynes, Hercules, Hillbilly Jim, Hulk Hogan, The Honky Tonk Man, The Islanders (Haku and Tama), The Killer Bees (B. Brian Blair and Jim Brunzell), Blackjack Mulligan, Paul Orndorff, Lanny Poffo, Butch Reed, Sika, Nikolai Volkoff, and Koko B. Ware.

So in other words, it’s everyone but Savage and Steamboat plus a few tag teams. Smash is the original Smash and not Barry Darsow and Honky is wearing suspenders. Andre won’t let Hogan get in. Orndorff jumps Hogan to prevent the showdown. More or less all of the heels jump Hogan and all of the faces jump Andre. Honky is out thanks to Hogan. Andre puts Sika out.

These are hard to commentate on as it’s just eliminations and fights. Haku, a face at this point, is out. Andre headbutts Lanny Poffo and he’s BUSTED OPEN, and I mean BAD. Totally hard way too. That is a sick cut. They have to get a stretcher to get him out. That’s impressive. Other than that it’s pretty much you punch me and I’ll punch you in the ring. Ron Bass is out as is Mulligan.

The ultimate Hogan jobber, Volkoff, is gone. We’re just killing time to get to Hogan vs. Andre as Blair is out. HERE WE GO! Hogan blocks a punch…and Koko jumps on Andre to be annoying. Hogan throws out Orndoff but gets jumped by Andre who does the headbutts to the back of the head and throws him out easily. WOW.

In a VERY funny moment, Hogan and Andre are doing a staredown and Koko tries to jump Andre. Giant just smacks him in the head without even turning around. That was hilarious. Everyone gets together to throw Andre out.

Ok we’re down to Koko, Reed, Smash, Billy Jack Haynes and Hercules. Koko puts Reed out and we get faces vs. heels. Koko is out thank goodness and then we get rid of Smash too to get us down to the full nelson guys. Haynes goes for Bobby and there he goes for Hercules to win, which is probably the biggest win of his career somehow.

Rating: D. This was about Hogan vs. Andre and while that did happen, it was all of ten seconds long. Before and after that though, no one cared. This just wasn’t that interesting at all and it was about ten seconds out of eleven minutes. That can’t be a good sign, though it was buildup for one of the biggest shows ever so what do I know?

Here’s Hercules’ match from that Wrestlemania.

Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes

This is power vs. power so expect some pretty weak chemistry. Hebner tries to get in between them in the corner which is more than a referee should do. Haynes hits a press slam but Hercules bails to the corner to avoid the full nelson. Hercules comes back with a big old clothesline and both guys are down already. A backdrop puts Haynes down and Herc pounds on the back a bit. This is very slow paced compared to the opener.

A suplex gets two for Hercules as he picks Haynes up. Billy can’t suplex Hercules because of the back so the Greek guy hits a backbreaker to keep the momentum up. Hercules hooks the full nelson but can’t get the fingers locked, allowing Billy to escape. Jack fights out of it and they clothesline each other down. Haynes grabs a quick atomic drop to fire the crowd up but his back messes up again. A clothesline sets up a legdrop on Hercules and a middle rope fist to the head keeps Hercules in trouble. Jack gets the full nelson but Hercules pulls them both to the floor. Herc gets put in the hold again but a double countout ends this.

Rating: D+. The fact that the crowd is hot for everything tonight is all that made this passable, which can be a great tool to bring a match up a lot. At the end of the day, they’re WAY too similar and neither guy is exactly someone that can carry a match. It’s not terrible but it didn’t go anywhere at all. This would be the only feud of note that Haynes had and he would be jobbing soon.

Hercules would get an Intercontinental Title shot at Saturday Night’s Main Event #11.

Intercontinental Title: Hercules vs. Ricky Steamboat

We see a clip of Savage in the back watching the match and cutting this insane promo about wanting the title back. Gene standing there is funny in some weird way. Savage cheers for Steamboat so that he can take the title from Steamboat. Hercules dominates early on but there is about as much chance of a title change as there is of TM getting admin. I need a minute to recover from that thought.

Hercules gets the Full Nelson and here comes Savage to break it up so that he can take the title from Steamboat. This planted some very small seeds of a face turn for him later on down the line. After Mania he was far too over to continue being a heel that much longer. Hercules goes for a top rope splash and eats knees. Heenan hands Hercules the chain and of course gets disqualified in a freaking stupid looking moment. Savage pretends to help him up and then drops the elbow on him just to be a jerk.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all and really just a continuation of the Savage/Steamboat feud which was aborted soon after this so that Honky got the belt. I think Steamboat said he wanted to take some time off for his son being born and Vince flipped over it, causing Honky’s year plus title reign. Anyway, this was just a little TV match that set up an angle.

The Heenan Family would go to war with Paul Orndorff around this time. Here’s Hercules trying his luck against Orndorff on October 6, 1987.

Paul Orndorff vs. Hercules

This is Orndorff vs. Heenan Family, which went on forever and involved Orndorff hiring and firing Heenan twice. Orndorff is part of the House of Humperdink. Orndorff is a power guy but he’s using speed here because he’s also smart. Hercules gets in a shot to break up Paul’s momentum after he skins the cat. Paul did the skinning if that was unclear. A clothesline gets three twos.

We’re in Milwaukee if you care. The fans cheer for Paul but he can’t make much of a comeback. Off to the bearhug which is a power man staple of the late 80s. Actually the 80s in general. Bearhug is countered into a small package for Orndorff, getting two. Orndorff makes his comeback and hits the Piledriver (finisher) but Rude runs in for the DQ. This was Rude’s first feud as he had only been in the company about three months at this point.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but it didn’t have the time to get going. Orndorff was WAY over at this time though and Heenan and his boys were hated so the crowd was very into things here. Orndorff would be retired for the first time very soon after this due to a very bad arm/neck injury he suffered when feuding with Hogan the year before. When you’re making somewhere between $10,000-20,000 a week though, you don’t bother taking time off for arm surgery.

Next up was a feud with the Ultimate Warrior, including this match at Wrestlemania IV.

Hercules vs. Ultimate Warrior

They collide to start as the announcers recap the tournament. Hercules hits three straight clotheslines to put Warrior down to Jesse’s amazement. Warrior fires off some chops but gets backdropped out to the floor. They brawl on the floor for a bit as Heenan is reaching in his pockets. Both guys head back inside and pound on each other a little bit more with Warrior hitting the ten punches in the corner. Hercules comes out of the corner with an atomic drop and sends Warrior into the corner chest first. He puts on the full nelson but Warior climbs the corner and falls back ala Bret and Austin at Survivor Series 96 for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Warrior was rapidly becoming a force but it wouldn’t be another six months before he finally hit something special. Hercules would be around for a few more years but would never do anything of note. This was just a filler match to bridge the gap between the first and second rounds of the tournament.

Since he’s been losing a lot, we’ll take a look at an actual win for him. From Prime Time Wrestling on August 22, 1988.

DJ Peterson vs. Hercules

Peterson has a good look to him and would wind up being a moderately big deal as The Trooper in the dying days of the AWA. Anyway, he’s easily shoved into the corner to start before Hercules puts on a headlock. Peterson grabs a few rollups for two each before Hercules bails to the floor. Back in and Hercules misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in a headlock. They slug it out with Peterson getting the better of it and elbowing Hercules into the ropes. Hercules easily comes back with a hard clothesline and the full nelson for the win.

Rating: C. This was actually better than I expected it to be. Peterson would actually win a few house show matches so they clearly saw something in him. He could have been a decent power guy with the right character and push, but unfortunately he died in 1993 in a motorcycle crash.

Hercules’ contract would be sold to Ted DiBiase soon after this. Ted would refer to Hercules as his slave and that just wasn’t cool. This led to a match at The Main Event II on February 3, 1989.

Hercules vs. Ted DiBiase

In short, DiBiase bought Hercules and referred to him as a slave, causing Hercules to rebel and turn face in the process. Obviously no one cares at this point after their minds have been blown to Mars at this point by what they just saw. The announcers rightfully talk about almost nothing but the Mega Powers which for once I’m fine with.

We cut to an interview with Hogan which isn’t going to happen. Instead we’re told he’s in no condition to talk. No music for DiBiase yet. Hercules jumps him before he can take the fake suit off and beats up Virgil for fun. All Herc so far as DiBiase’s movement in the ring is still impressive over twenty years later. Ted finally sends Herc to the floor.

The crowd is staying in this one which is kind of surprising. Herc keeps having those power kick outs which are always kind of cool. Very basic match here but fairly well done. Then again I like both guys out there so that might have something to do with it. Powerslam by the power dude means it’s time for…Hercules to charge and have no apparent move in mind.

Virgil wraps Herc’s chain around the buckle but DiBiase goes into it for two. Hercules gets his backbreaker (torture rack) but Virgil grabs the leg, allowing Ted to get a quick rollup with the tights to end it. DiBiase gets beaten up a bit post match but it’s nothing special at all.

Rating: C-. Just a match to fill in some time after the huge angle earlier on. It’s not bad or anything but there was nothing that would separate this from a house show match or something like that. It’s ok enough though and more or less blew off this mini feud which is a plus I guess.

Hercules would open Wrestlemania V against a member of the Heenan Family.

Hercules vs. King Haku

The crown isn’t on the line here. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Herc comes back with a hip toss and a slam followed by a release flapjack. A clothesline puts Haku on the floor but Hercules suplexes him right back in. Some elbow drops keep Haku down but Hercules goes after Heenan like an idiot. Haku jumps him from behind and we head back inside for a pair of backbreakers for a pair of counts.

Since this is a power match we hit the bearhug as even Jesse says this isn’t going to get a submission. Gorilla criticizes Haku’s technique, prompting Jesse to ask what a gorilla would know about bearhugging. Herc breaks the hold and the King yells at the referee, only to get caught by a cross body. Hercules pounds away and hits a running knee lift followed by some clotheslines. A powerslam gets two but Hercules jumps off the top into most of a superkick. Haku misses a top rope headbutt and Hercules wins with the belly to back suplex with a last second shoulder raise.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was a basic enough match to get things going. Hercules was a generic power guy so there wasn’t much to get interested in with him. Haku would join up with Andre to win the tag titles by the end of the year. I’m not sure if there was much of a feud here other than Hercules vs. Heenan which was only touched on.

Hercules would be in action at Summerslam 1989.

Greg Valentine vs. Hercules

Ronnie Garvin is guest ring announcer after being fired from being a referee. He takes a ton of shots at Valentine (“Weighing in at 249lbs…..but he looks about 30lbs heavier and wears a robe with cheap rhinestones.”) since Valentine got him suspended in the first place. Hercules jumps Valentine to start and powerslams him down for two. A quick rollup gets two for Greg before they head to the floor for nothing of note. Back in and Valentine pounds him down with some elbows but the Figure Four is broken up. Hecules suplexes him down but gets rolled up with Valentine’s feet on the ropes for the fast pin.

Rating: D. This was all about furthering Garvin vs. Valentine with the stuff before the match and a bit we’ll get to in a second. I’m no Garvin fan at all but this was an amusing angle given where you could turn your brain off and laugh at some stupid jokes for a few minutes every show. There’s nothing wrong with comic relief and having a talented guy like Valentine out there made it a bit easier to sit through.

Post match Garvin announces Hercules as the winner, which apparently is good enough to get Valentine disqualified. Like I said, this is the time to turn your brain off.

Here’s a match from later in the year on Supertape II.

Akeem vs. Hercules

Tony Schiavone never sounded right commentating on WWF programming at all. Ten punches in the corner as Hercules likes to beat on big fat men. Akeem gets caught in the ropes a bit but hits the floor like a good fat man . Slick gives him a hug which must be a heel manager in the 80s thing in general.

Apparently Slick’s peace and love doesn’t last long as he wants to get in the ring and fight, even taking his jacket off. Akeem says let him do the fighting here. Back in and it’s time for some boxing. Hercules likes to punch to put it mildly. A slam doesn’t work so maybe he should have stuck with the punching. Slick chokes with some tape or something and Hayes thinks they planned that in advance. NO! THAT’S NOT TRUE! Had to channel some Empire Strikes Back there to break my boredom.

Hercules fights back with some clotheslines but Slick pulls the rope down and there goes Hercules for the CHEAP DQ! I’m not considering it a win yet as there’s every chance that another wrestler turned referee could come out for the reversal to give Hercules the win because he has a lighter shade of blue on. Post match Hercules slams Akeem to show off a bit.

Rating: D+. Just a quick little comedy match that went nowhere. Not bad I guess but there wasn’t much here at all. Also can we get a clean finish on this tape or is that something that’s too much to wish for? So far we’ve had two managers hooking feet, one hooking a rope and a reversed decision. I guess we’re saving that for a “big star” or something? Whatever indeed.

Hercules would turn heel again in 1990 and team up with Paul Roma as Power and Glory. One of their first feuds was with the Rockers, including this match at Summerslam 1990.

Rockers vs. Power and Glory

Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) get a jobber entrance. The camera immediately goes wide during the opening brawl so you don’t see Shawn’s knee get grazed by Hercules’ chain. His knee was REALLY badly hurt at this time so he’s just here for an appearance, making this a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Marty hits a quick dropkick to both guys and gets a small package on Roma but Slick has the referee.

Vince is freaking out over the referee missing stuff as Marty clotheslines Herc to the outside. We officially start with Roma vs. Jannetty and Roma tagging his way out of a sunset flip. Shawn is still on the floor as Hercules pounds away and slams Marty down. Roma plants Jannetty with a backbreaker for two but Marty comes back with a powerslam. The top rope fist connects with Paul’s head but Hercules breaks up the pin. Roma sends Jannetty into a clothesline from Herc as Shawn is screaming in pain. The superplex/top rope splash combo is enough to finish the massacre of Jannetty.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t too bad all things considered. The crowd is white hot here and they carried the match to a higher level than it could have reached on their own. It’s kind of a shame that Marty had to be Shawn’s partner as his own skills were overlooked by his far more talented partner.

Here’s a TV match for Power and Glory, from Wrestling Challenge on May 5, 1991.

Power and Glory vs. Sonny Blaze/George Anderson

Roma shoves I think Blaze into the corner to start as the announcers talk about some fitness convention that a lot of wrestlers will be attending. A powerslam gets two on Sonny and it’s off to Hercules. We hear about Power and Glory’s current feud with the Bushwhackers as the beating continues. The Bushwhackers have an inset interview to say they’re not worried about their upcoming match with Power and Glory. Back to Roma for some more backbreakers before Hercules puts George in the Rack, followed by a top rope fist to the chest from Roma for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Power and Glory were at the weaker end of the tag team division. Peterson and Blaze were also pretty weak jobbers even for this time period and the match wasn’t even interesting when they brought the Bushwhackers into things. Boring match but it’s the norm for TV at this point.

One more WWF match as Power and Glory would be in a six man at Summerslam 1991.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.

Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Soon after this it was off to WCW where Hercules became the Super Invader. Here’s one of his earlier matches from WrestleWar 1992.

Super Invader vs. Todd Champion

Super Invader is Hercules in a mask. Champion was half of a tag team that was completely awful but got the US Tag Titles anyway. Harley Race is Invader’s manager here which doesn’t help him that much. This isn’t much at all but it’s just filler until the main event because everyone worth anything is in that match. We go to a chinlock early on as this isn’t much of a match at all.

Something tells me they weren’t planning on this being anything resembling a classic at all as yet again it’s just there because they’re fairly competent in the ring and can fill a total of 8 minutes or so out there. Jesse mentions that he’s got a job at Beach Blast, which would wind up being the judge in the bikini contest. Invader does the jump off the top into a boot while clearly doing nothing but going to the top to jump into the boot so the other guy can take over spot. Champion makes a very brief comeback and a powerbomb ends it.

Rating: D. This was just bad. The majority of the match is a chinlock and since Hercules was on the downside of his career and not very good even at his best, this wasn’t anything at all of note. Champion was a guy with a good look but nothing to back it up at all. Boring match and can we please get on to something else?

We’ll wrap it up with this, from Clash of the Champions XX.

Steiner Brothers/Sting/Nikita Koloff vs. Rick Rude/Super Invader/Big Van Vader/Jake Roberts

This is under elimination rules. Rick Steiner and Vader get things going and Rick Steiner (I apologize for the repetition of the full names but there are two people in this match named Rick and two named Steiner) hammers away but Vader takes his head off with a clothesline. A running splash in the corner crushes Rick Steiner, only to have him come out of the corner with a belly to belly suplex on the 400lb Vader. Koloff comes in to face the masked Invader in a power match. No one goes anywhere off a double clothesline and shoulder block but Koloff’s second and third shoulder blocks work a bit better.

Nikita hurts himself trying another clothesline and it’s off to Rude who gets his arm pulled on a few times. Scott comes in to stay on the arm but Rude pulls him over to the corner for a tag to Invader. The masked man sends Scott into the ropes but gets caught in a tiger bomb and a quick suplex but Rude breaks up the Frankensteiner. A swinging neckbreaker gets two on Scott and it’s off to Jake with right hands to the jaw.

Roberts doesn’t last long though as Vader comes in to hammer away on Scott in the corner and run him over in the middle of the ring. Rude comes back in and keeps the pressure on Scott but walks into a clothesline, allowing Scott to tag in Koloff. Nikita cleans house but gets caught with a knee to the ribs, allowing Roberts to get a quick rollup for the elimination. Sting comes in to get his hands on Jake but the Snake immediately tags in Invader. That’s fine with Sting as he hammers away and bulldogs Invader for a pin in maybe thirty seconds.

Rick Steiner comes and hits a HUGE German suplex on Vader but gets pounded in the head, allowing Vader to hit a middle rope splash for a close two. Off to Rude to make it Rick vs. Rick with Rude slapping on a front facelock and driving Rick Steiner into the corner. Vader comes in but gets powerslammed off the middle rope for two as Rude makes the save. The Steiners try a Doomsday Device on Vader but can’t get him up.

Instead it’s a top rope clothesline from Scott for a DQ and elimination as Rick Steiner and Vader fight to the floor. Rude drops the other Rick with a Rude Awakening on the concrete and only Vader can make it back inside. That leaves Sting 3-1 against Vader, Roberts and Rude. He gets Vader first and avoids a seated senton before getting his hands on Roberts.

The Stinger Splash looks to set up the Scorpion but Rude breaks it up with a clothesline from the apron. Sting punches Roberts and Vader off the apron before bulldogging Rick down for two. A slingshot suplex puts Rude down but Vader comes off the top with a splash to crush both guys, earning him a disqualification. Jake pulls the unconscious Rude to his corner and tags himself in before ending Sting with the DDT.

Rating: C-. This was long but messy with the top rope DQ being more annoying than anything else. Roberts getting the pin on Sting was a good idea but there were too many people and eliminations to get through to get there. Drop a Steiner and the Invader and this match is much better all around.

Hercules was the definition of a one note character but there was a long stretch in there where he was a midcard fixture. There’s nothing wrong with having a power guy on the roster and while he wasn’t the best in the world, he kept steady work for a long time on his physique alone. Think of him as the original Chris Masters, which isn’t the worst job to have.

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Souled Out 1999 (2014 Redo): Like An Ugly Jigsaw Puzzle

Souled Out 1999
Date: January 17, 1999
Location: Charleston Civic Center, Charleston, West Virginia
Attendance: 10,833
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

It’s three weeks after Starrcade and a lot has changed in that short span of time. However, as much as things have changed, it feels more like we went back in time two years instead of reaching a new place in WCW. The main events tonight are Ric and David Flair vs. Curt Hennig/Barry Windham in David’s in ring debut and Goldberg vs. Scott Hall in a tazer on a pole (it’s hanging above the ring but same idea) match as Goldberg is out for revenge on the people that cost him the World Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with a President Flair press conference, saying they’ll stay the course against the NWO. Nothing to see here other than flashbulbs and media applause.

As we go to the arena, we see that the NWO logo now has a big red X over it anywhere the logo appears. Why Flair didn’t just make it a regular WCW logo is probably some legal issue that WWE thinks we would care about.

Tony says it’s a night of revenge for WCW. The announcers talk for a bit as they always did to open a show.

Call the Hotline! I actually did that once and it took forever to get to anything and the trivia game, the one thing I wanted to do, wasn’t available.

We cut to the back and Goldberg is down holding his knee. He’s conscious though and throws the cameraman out of the room.

Mike Enos vs. Chris Benoit

After main eventing Thunder for two weeks in a row, this is the best Benoit can get? Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him up against the ropes and chopping away before getting taken down by a running clothesline. The muscular Enos hammers away but gets chopped and clotheslined by the Canadian to take over. Enos gets whipped down into the corner and dragon screw leg whipped for good measure.

More chops have Enos reeling but he counters the Crossface into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a very delayed two. A powerslam gets a much more timely two and we hit the bearhug on Benoit. Off to the chinlock on Benoit which is quickly switched over to another bearhug. Benoit elbows out of it but gets kneed in the ribs to put him down again. Benoit counters a suplex into a cross body for two. The Rolling Germans have Mike in trouble and there’s the Swan Dive but Benoit can’t cover. Back up and Benoit slaps on the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C. The match was fine but I’m not sure this should have opened a PPV. Benoit looked good, though it’s against Mike Enos so how much does it really mean? This was a good sign that WCW didn’t know what to do with Benoit at the moment, but at least he got a nice win.

Clips of Hall costing Goldberg the title and the announcement of the tazer match.

Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Norman comes out carrying a small urn with the remains of Pepe. He taunts Chavo with the remains to start before running outside for the opening bell. Back in and a single clothesline sends Smiley out to the floor. Another clothesline sends him outside again and a big dive takes Norman down. A springboard bulldog has Norman in even more trouble and a spinning top rope cross body does the same.

Norman sends him into the buckle and hits the spinning slam followed by the Big Wiggle. Off to a figure four neck lock on Chavo but Guerrero fights up, only to have his moonsault hit knees. Norman drapes him over the top rope as Tenay and Heenan get into an argument over Mrs. Guerrero’s chili. Smiley hooks a modified surfboard followed by a bodyscissors as this is a nice display of submissions.

Back up and a swinging neckbreaker gets two on Chavo before he gets caught in a kind of ankle lock. Chavo counters into a leg hold of his own but Norman easily rolls out and elbows Chavo in the face. Back to the mat with a seated Norman putting his feet on Chavo’s shoulders and pulling on his arms. The fans think this is boring because they don’t understand technical wrestling. A top rope superplex to Chavo appeases them a bit and the Big Wiggle makes them even happier.

Norman starts getting more physical with a back elbow to the jaw getting two. Off to a kind of seated abdominal stretch before Chavo fights up with a belly to back suplex. Smiley fights back up again and puts on a Gory Special for some humiliation. Chavo escapes and tries a rollup but Norman blocks it and spanks Guerrero a bit to the biggest reaction of the night. Chavo spins out of the Norman’s Conquest but can’t hook the tornado DDT. Smiley throws the sawdust in Chavo’s face, setting up the Conquest for the win.

Rating: B-. Good match but the ending brought it down a bit. This is a good example of the difference between someone like Chavo and Iaukea from Thunder. Iaukea was repeating moves late in the match whereas Chavo has a far more entertaining and interesting match that ran five minutes longer. WCW would be smart to listen to those reactions Smiley is getting.

Konnan wants revenge for the NWO turning on him.

Fit Finlay vs. Van Hammer

This is the third straight unannounced match. Van Hammer is a hippie here in a gimmick which never went anywhere. They stall a lot to get going until Van Hammer clotheslines him down. A slam off the ropes gets two on Finlay but he rips at Hammer’s face to take over again. An elbow drop gives Finlay a near fall of his own and a jawbreaker (called a clothesline by Tony) has Hammer in trouble.

They trade some forearms with Hammer getting the better of it until he misses an elbow drop. Finlay rips at the face some more but gets punched in the ribs to put him back down. Hammer cranks on the leg and the fans are just dead for this. Back up and Hammer slams him down and we head outside. That goes nowhere so Finlay punches him in the face and kicks him throat first into the ropes. Hammer escapes a sleeper but charges into a boot in the corner. A powerslam gets two on Finlay but he comes back with the rolling fireman’s carry into the tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. Unlike the opening match which was watchable but shouldn’t have been on PPV, this was really boring and shouldn’t have been on PPV. Finlay is a talented guy but I have no idea why he’s the go to guy when you need a spot filled in on a pay per view. Why not throw Booker T. out there to keep up his hot streak? Probably because this is WCW and they don’t think in that much detail.

We look at the Flairs vs. Hennig/Windham.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath

This was set up over a few brawls they’ve had over the last few weeks. They shove each other to start until Wrath gets poked in the eyes. He’s still able to nail a big boot though and Bigelow is knocked to the floor. Back in and Bigelow misses a headbutt before getting hammered in the back. A HARD chop in the corner has Bigelow in trouble before it’s off to a wristlock.

Wrath hits a nice middle rope clothesline for two as the fans are only slightly more interested than they were in the previous match. Bigelow comes back with a shoulder and chinlock followed by some choking. Back to the chinlock as Tony promises to give us the results of the coin toss before the four way Cruiserweight Title match tonight. AND THEY’LL TELL US BEFORE THE MATCH! They actually treat this like a big deal.

The hold stays on WAY too long so Heenan starts with tattoo jokes. Back up and Bigelow shrugs off some knees to the ribs so Wrath nails a dropkick to take Bam Bam down. A powerslam puts Wrath down but he’s quickly back up for a double clothesline to drop both guys. Wrath misses a charge and hits the post, setting up Greetings From Asbury Park to kill Wrath’s push once and for all. Tony says that’s just one blemish on his record as he can’t remember something that happened about six weeks ago.

Rating: D. That chinlock killed whatever this match might have had but the fans were already done by the time it went on. Wrath had a nice little run for a few months but at the end of the day he was a guy that had potential to be something interesting and was getting over so the old guard had to beat him in his two biggest matches. We wouldn’t want someone new getting over would we?

Konnan vs. Lex Luger

Konnan has lost that new shirt with the NWO logo on it. Before the match Konnan babbles about dressings and tossing salads. This is fallout from Luger turning on Konnan and throwing him out of the Wolfpack. Luger says Konnan just couldn’t make the A team and offers him a change to leave. Konnan nails him in the jaw and we’re ready to go as the fans are FINALLY awake and actually going nuts for this. Imagine that: you have a match with an interesting story behind it and the fans care.

Luger is easily knocked to the floor to start and things settle down a bit. Konnan brings him back in and stomps away but Luger holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick. Even Luger’s stomps to the back are getting booed here. Luger starts working on the back with knees and forearms to the spine. Konnan comes back by ramming him face first into the buckle until Luger stomps him down again. Off to a bearhug followed by some elbows to the back. Konnan rolls outside as the match slows down again.

Back in and Konnan hits a quick cross body followed by the rolling clothesline to start his comeback. There’s the low dropkick but here comes Liz, clearly fresh off some surgical enhancements, to break up the Tequila Sunrise with hairspray to the face. The referee sees Liz leave and doesn’t question why Konnan let go of the hold and is now holding his eyes. Either way, the Torture Rack gets the easy win.

Rating: D+. This was better than I was expecting with the crowd actually carrying it to a better result than expected. They really liked Konnan here which again should be grounds for a push for the guy. He couldn’t back it up in the ring or anything like that, so WCW should put him in a team with some more skilled guys, which I believe is what they did.

Chris Jericho vs. Perry Saturn

Loser wears a dress. Heenan: “I’d like to see Ralphus in a dress.” Scott Dickinson, the crooked referee, is in charge of this match because Ric Flair or whoever makes these decisions isn’t all that smart. Saturn quickly shoves Jericho to the floor before Jericho hides in the corner a lot to continue the stalling.

Jericho grabs a headlock but gets slammed down for a quick escape. Saturn hammers away in the corner as Ralphus takes the leopard print dress out of a bag to taunt Perry a bit. Jericho takes over with a hot shot and the springboard dropkick to send him into the barricade. A nice plancha takes Saturn down again and a big boot of all things gets two for Jericho.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Saturn comes back with some right hands. The Lionsault hits knees and Saturn nails a t-bone suplex. Chris comes back with a modified butterfly powerbomb but Saturn blocks a dropkick and catapults him to the floor. A baseball slide knocks Jericho down again and a top rope splash gets two for Saturn.

They trade a sloppy looking pinfall reversal sequence until Saturn avoids a charge in the corner to crotch Jericho on the ropes. The Death Valley Driver and Liontamer are both countered and Saturn grabs a small package, but Dickinson blatanly shoves it over and makes the fast count to give Jericho the pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t all that great but the ending made it even worse. As stupid as it is, the result makes even less sense when you consider there are two face authority figures. There’s no one watching this in the back that could come out here and say hang on a second? The match wasn’t as good as you would expect from these two.

Jericho smacks Dickinson and tells him to make Saturn put the dress on. Saturn does it anyway and Dickinson zips him up. The interesting thing here is news had leaked out that Jericho was leaving when his contract was up in the fall, so this should have been an obvious result. However, why go with what makes sense when you can humiliate Saturn even more?

David Flair says he isn’t a wrestler but he’ll be in the ring anyway out of respect to his father. Since this is WCW, you can start the countdown until he turns on his dad.

Cruiserweight Title: Psychosis vs. Billy Kidman vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

TONY LIED TO US ABOUT THE STARTERS! How can I ever survive by having to last a full hour without knowing what’s going to happen? How do I know if I should stay tuned if I don’t know if this will be one of the biggest nights in the history of our sport??? This is one fall to a finish, Kidman is defending and will be starting with Juvy. Psychosis is a substitute for Eddie Guerrero after Eddie had a horrible car wreck at the beginning of the year. Tony apologizes for giving us wrong information then says it doesn’t matter anyway.

Kidman and Mysterio get things going but all four are in within fifteen seconds. Things settle down before they get more interesting and we get the starters alone in the ring. Rey shakes Kidman’s hand before taking him down with a headscissors but Kidman hooks one of his own. Both guys try cross bodies at the same time and everyone is down. Both other guys come in without tags before Kidman and Rey tag them in a few seconds later.

They trade cradles in a nice sequence but the fans still don’t seem to care. A sloppy looking sequence results in some standing switches as the silence here is very strange. The fans usually love these cruiserweight matches. Everything breaks down and the fans pick up a bit as Rey throws Kidman into the BK Bomb for no cover. Rey sidesteps Psychosis so Kidman can hit the top rope cross body for two. Juvy trips up Kidman (Psychosis: “THANK YOU JUVY!”) so Psychosis can hit a nice front suplex to put the champion down.

A running clothesline puts Kidman on the floor with Juvy throwing Rey onto the champion. Psychosis and Juvy get in an argument over who is going to do an Asai Moonsault so Rey and Kidman powerbomb them off the apron to the floor. Back in and a springboard Doomsday Device with Rey playing Hawk gets two on Guerrera. Rey and Psychosis fight on the apron with Mysterio monkey flipping Psychosis over the post and onto the floor in a nice spot.

Kidman hits a nice cannonball off the top onto Psychosis but might have hurt his own shoulder. A great looking Air Juvy takes both guys down and Rey follows him out but only hits Kidman. Juvy clotheslines Psychosis by mistake so he heads back inside for a springboard seated senton from Mysterio. A Juvy Driver gets two on Rey with Psychosis making the save with a springboard missile dropkick. Psychosis hooks a mostly botched middle rope victory roll for two on Guerrera before Kidman counters a powerbomb for two.

Mysterio spins into a bulldog on the champion for another near fall and everyone is sent outside save for Psychosis. Juvy lays the two good guys on the floor next to each other and Psychosis hits a BIG suicide dive to land on both of them. A second attempt hits floor instead of Mysterio but Kidman counters the Juvy driver into a reverse DDT. Rey sees that Kidman is loading up the Shooting Star but hits a springboard hurricanrana on Psychosis anyway. The Shooting Star is good for the pin on Guerrera to retain the title.

Rating: B-. Good but not great match here with some awesome high spots. Unfortunately there wasn’t much besides though and it really brought the match down a few notches. Guerrero would have been better in there but thankfully the division was deep enough that you could just throw in another name like Psychosis to fill in the spot. This would have been better if they cut out about three minutes to tighten things up a little bit.

Booker T. talks about the dress match when Jericho comes in and challenges him to a match on Nitro. That should be awesome.

Barry Windham/Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair/David Flair

Windham turned on Flair during the Bischoff feud and Hennig cost Flair the Bischoff match. Ric wanted a handicap match but his son offered to have his dad’s back, despite not having any in ring experience. Ric grabs a chair and calls the villains Horsemen rejects. Curt promises to beat up the father and then the son before ordering Anderson to go to the back. The boss (Ric) threatens to send Hennig to the WWF if he doesn’t get in here to fight. We’re still not done talking as Barry wants to start with David.

We finally get going and David drives him against the ropes but gets taken down by a right hand. A headscissors puts Barry down and all four get in the ring for a few seconds. Things settle down with Barry kicking him in the ribs but getting chopped down with ease. Former NWA World Champion Barry Windham of course begs off from a 19 year old guy who looks to weigh 175 soaking wet because he can hit a few chops.

Barry slams him down but misses an elbow drop, allowing for a tag off to Ric. More chops set up a quickly broken chinlock and it’s off to Hennig to slap the boss and talk some trash. They trade more chops and there’s the Hennig neck snap before he knocks David off the apron. The Flair Flip puts Ric on the floor but the evil ones don’t follow up. Ric goes up top and deserves that slam off the top for trying it so many times. Barry’s superplex gets two with no reference to it being his finisher. Windham hammers away in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop to put both guys down.

More chops give Flair a breather but he swings so hard that he falls back to the mat. Hennig comes back in for a spinning toehold followed by the Figure Four. Barry comes in to try a Figure Four of his own but Ric small packages him for two. The elder Flair is scared to tag so Windham hammers away even more. Ric fires off chops but the double teaming is too much for him to fight off.

Anderson pulls Hennig to the floor and Ric is able to slap the Figure Four on Barry. Curt hits Arn in the bad neck and sends him into the barricade as everything breaks down. Ric falls down from exhaustion as David stays on the apron. David finally comes in with a low blow to Curt to break up a double suplex but Hennig nails him with a right hand. Anderson comes in with a tire iron to break up the PerfectPlex and Curt very clearly pulls David on top of him for the pin.

Rating: D+. Refresh my memory. Aren’t there three other Horsemen that Flair could have picked or that Arn could have suggested? I really don’t get why David was in there when all those other guys were available. Ric wanting his son in there makes sense for a story, but from a creative perspective this was the worst idea they possibly could have gone with. The story was acceptable enough and the match could have been worse, but you have Benoit and Malenko available but we get a glorified handicap match instead.

Post match we’ve immediately got almost all of the NWO to attack the Flairs. Benoit comes out to help but there are like twelve NWO members out there. Ric is handcuffed to the ropes and the big beating is on. David is surrounded as the fans chant for Goldberg to come make a save.

After being tripped to the mat, David actually lunges at Hogan so it’s time for a beating with the weightlifting belt. There’s the EZ E spray painted on David’s back as this just keeps going. A Sting chant has no effect either. The NWO finally leaves after like seven minutes of beating up David. Now we get another two minutes of Hogan talking trash to Ric and the father holding his son and saying he’s sorry.

Long, slow motion, black and white video on Luger turning on Goldberg after the Fingerpoke of Doom.

Scott Hall vs. Goldberg

The tazer is hung above the ring and ladders are provided to pull it down. You have to shock the other guy to win so there are no pins or submissions. Hall talks about taking away the Streak and the title to kill some time before the match. He takes credit for Goldberg’s knee injury because Goldberg slipped in fear. Tony immediately refutes it but here’s Goldberg. Buffer actually apologizes for the “false announcement”. Goldberg’s knee is in a big brace to compensate for earlier but he’s still badly limping.

Hall is knocked to the mat to start but Goldberg isn’t following up due to the injury. They circle each other for a bit until Goldberg finally knocks him down again. Hall gets taken down a third time as we’re somehow five minutes into this. A powerslam drops Hall again but the knee gives out. Hall wraps the knee around the post and goes to get the ladder but Goldberg continues the age old tradition of not letting anyone else bring in the ladder despite it meaning nothing at all.

Goldberg tries to bring the ladder into the ring but Hall baseball slides it into his face to draw some blood. The fans are dead again. Hall goes up but drops a bad looking elbow for no apparent reason. Scott climbs again but gets suplexed down with ease. Goldberg’s climb is quickly stopped with a ladder to the leg and the match stays slow. This time Hall is shoved off the ladder and goes throat first onto the top rope. Tony: “That may have been a break for Goldberg.”

A clothesline puts Hall down and Goldberg whips him into the ladder, sending the ladder falling down onto Scott. Goldberg’s slow climb is countered with a dropkick before Goldberg shoves Hall off the ladder. I’m not skipping anything between most of these saves as there’s no transition between them at all.

Disco Inferno runs out for a save and shoves the ladder over to stop Goldberg and Hall pulls down the tazer. Hall misses his shots though and gets superkicked to knock the tazer outside. Goldberg rolls outside and gets it, shocks Disco, tosses the tazer into the air so he can spear and Jackhammer Hall before the shock gives Goldberg the win.

Rating: D-. They made A LADDER MATCH BORING. Do you have any idea how hard that is to do? The match was really dull and slow because they decided to have Goldberg be injured and take away all of the stuff that got him over in the first place. It didn’t help that you had two power guys out there and no one who could do high spots, leaving us with seventeen minutes of shoving the other guy off the ladder. Goldberg getting a win to stand tall to end the show is the right move, but I don’t see why we needed to have a long and dull match before we got there.

Post match Bam Bam Bigelow runs in to beat up Goldberg. Hall is up thirty seconds after being shocked (and sixty seconds after being speared and Jackhammered) to zap both guys to end the show. Remember at Starrcade when Goldberg got shocked and stayed down for about the last five minutes of the show, including falling out of the ring at one point? Apparently neither does Scott Hall.

Overall Rating: D. The worst part about this show is they were trying at some points. That makes it harder to criticize because it looks like the guys on top are the ones making it such a horrible show. The opening part of this show is good stuff (albeit not the most interesting) before the main event and the long NWO beatdown after an acceptable (all things considered) match really hurt things. The show wasn’t good, but it did have good parts which is more than I can say about a lot of WCW PPVs around this time.

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Thunder – January 14, 1999: And It’s Only Going To Get Worse

Thunder
Date: January 14, 1999
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,597
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

It’s the go home show for Souled Out and we actually have some matches set for the show now. The main story coming out of Nitro is Giant being beaten down and thrown out of the NWO and the company as well. Other than that there’s Flair torturing Bischoff in comedy bits that are lacking comedy. Let’s get to it.

The announcers talk about recent events as is their custom.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scott Putski

The monster hammers away to start but misses a charge to give Putski a brief opening. It lasts all of three seconds as he whips Bigelow in and gets taken down by a nice spinwheel kick. Well nice for a guy Bigelow’s size. A hard elbow puts Putski down but Bigelow misses the top rope elbow and gets punched in the jaw. Again it only lasts for a few seconds though as Bam Bam catches him in a powerslam.

We hit the chinlock on Putski as the announcers have barely acknowledged anything outside of Goldberg vs. Hall. You could at least talk about Wrath vs. Bigelow as the commentary was clearly done with knowledge of what happened/was going to happen on Monday. Putski’s next comeback is stopped when he runs into Bigelow’s boot, followed by some elbows and headbutts.

A choke has Putski in trouble and we hit another chinlock. Back up and Bigelow runs into a boot as Putski is getting WAY too much offense. Some clotheslines put Bam Bam down but he comes right back with Greetings From Asbury Park (over the shoulder tombstone) for the long delayed pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but six minutes is way too long for Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Scott Putski. Bigelow looked bored out there for the most part, even though he hit some of his bigger spots. To be fair though, who expected an effort in a match like this? Putski’s pirate style garb continues to be bizarre.

Norman Smiley vs. Prince Iaukea

Oh good grief we have to see this AGAIN? Feeling out process to start with Iauke running Norman over with a shoulder for two. An armbar doesn’t last long on the Prince but this time he gets shouldered down. The spinning slam sets up the Big Wiggle and a chinlock as we take a break. Back with Smiley dropkicking him out to the floor and it’s Wiggle time again.

Prince comes back in with a cross body for two but gets clotheslined down. Say it with me: Big Wiggle time again. Norman nails a European uppercut and puts on a headscissors on the mat. Prince quickly fights up and hits his second cross body for two more. They head outside with Iaukea ramming him into various metal objects but Norman nailing some chops back inside. Norman hammers away a bit more but takes too long on another spinning slam, allowing Iaukea to slip out. Iaukea fires back but gets caught in the Conquest for the submission.

Rating: D. This got TEN MINUTES. Smiley is incredibly charismatic but he needs more than just the Big Wiggle and that spinning slam. On top of that, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY GET PRINCE IAUKEA OFF THE SHOW ALREADY! The guy is just not interesting at all and can do nothing special in the ring whatsoever. Why we’ve had to sit through this match three or four times in less than six weeks is beyond me.

Jimmy Hart says he’s great and that the Faces of Fear are back together as the First Family and will win the Tag Team Title tournament. This was far more interesting than either match tonight and I almost dozed off during this segment.

Recap of Bischoff being forced to set up the ring, leading him to leave a wrench behind for Nash to knock Giant out with. Because there would never be a wrench near a wrestling ring unless Eric Bischoff was there.

Jericho comes out to talk about how amazing he is and allows the crowd to applaud him. He thinks Saturn will retire on Sunday because he doesn’t have the legs to wear a dress.

Chris Jericho vs. Van Hammer

Van Hammer’s early power stuff has almost no effect so Jericho dropkicks him down and does the long steps. A clothesline from Hammer allows him to do the long steps, but that’s not cool with our Canadian hero. Not that his anger matters though as Hammer easily counters a monkey flip by putting Jericho on the top rope.

Jericho comes back with a spinwheel kick and a suplex as Saturn is standing on the ramp. We hit the chinlock on Hammer for a bit before Jericho misses a dropkick. Hammer pounds away (you might say he even hammers) before crotching Jericho on the top. A superkick and cobra clutch slam get two for Hammer but he misses an enziguri and has his lions tamed into kittens for the submission.

Rating: C-. Match of the night so far by about a mile. It’s amazing what you can do when you have someone with as much charisma as Jericho had out there, especially after seeing Scott Putski and Prince Iaukea earlier in the night. Van Hammer wasn’t anything special but he was fine in a role like this.

We see Goldberg’s sitdown sound bytes from Nitro.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Faces of Fear vs. Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum Jr.

Barbarian hammers on Enos in the corner to start before missing a charge and getting kicked in the ribs for awhile. Off to Meng vs. Duncum with Bobby’s offense having no effect at all. Meng rams his own head into the turnbuckle and hits an atomic drop before bringing Barbarian back in. Duncum gets beaten down by both monsters as this is already dragging. Meng ducks his head but Bobby can’t slam him, instead getting suplexed down.

Back to Barbarian who fights off a sunset flip until Enos shoves him down for two. Barbarian comes right back with a backbreaker and we hit the chinlock. Duncum escapes with a jawbreaker but Meng breaks up a tag attempt. A piledriver gets one on Duncum….and here’s the NWO for the no contest.

Rating: D-. So the Faces of Fear are back together and somehow less interesting than they were before. Jimmy Hart’s career as a manager nosedived after the NWO showed up and it’s rather pathetic to see him toiling down here. Also, Duncum goes from a few TV Title matches to this in less than two months. Such is life in wrestling.

Hogan talks about how Nash is the real giant and no one is going to mess with them. Nash says there will no tournament.

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Wrath vs. El Dandy

Dandy’s offense has almost no effect to start and a big side slam puts him down. They head outside with Wrath easily hammering away and sending Dandy into the barricade. Back in and Wrath chokes a lot before hitting the Rock Bottom (now called the Death Penalty) and the Meltdown for….no pin as Bigelow runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. Just let Bigelow beat him like you know he’ll do on Sunday because Bigelow is an older guy and Wrath’s push was stopped dead by Nash last month. There wasn’t anything to this and I don’t see why they didn’t just have Bigelow come in after the match and let Wrath get the pin. Not that it matters anyway.

Wrath clotheslines Bigelow to the floor.

Konnan has a new t-shirt with the NWO logo on it.

Five minute recap of the NWO’s actions on Monday.

Disco Inferno vs. Super Calo

Disco if extra aggressive tonight and stomps Calo to the mat to start. He rams Calo into the barricade and hooks a front facelock as Heenan takes a phone call. Scott Hall comes out with the taser and walks around the ring. Calo hits a bad looking spinwheel kick and a better looking middle rope dropkick for two. Not that it matters as Hall zaps him into the Chartbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads this show feels like it’s about 19 hours long. Disco as the new lackey isn’t interesting and feels more like an idea to amuse the writers more than anything else. It’s like they took the Louie Spicolli idea and put Disco into the exact same angle about a year later. Calo continues to be worthless.

Hall says Nash and Hogan want to talk to Disco in the back right now. Disco leaves and Hall talks about Goldberg winning 174 wrestling matches, but now it’s a gimmick match (his words). Hall says go rent some of his ladder matches and explains the rules of their match on Sunday.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Barry Windham/Curt Hennig

Chris and Curt get things going as the announcers talk about the Flairs’ match on Sunday. Neither guy can take over on the other so they circle each other for a bit. Some chops have Hennig in trouble and it’s off to Mongo (wrestling in a shirt for some reason) for some knees to the ribs. Curt outsmarts Mongo with relative ease and brings in Windham to hammer away. Barry hits a belly to back suplex before it’s back to Curt to stomp away.

The heels take over on McMichael and we take a break. Back with Windham getting two on Mongo off a lariat before putting on a reverse chinlock. Hennig comes back in but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Benoit gets the hot tag to clean house and a suplex gets two on Barry. There’s the Crossface on Windham but Hennig hits the referee with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D+. It’s so clear that most of these people just don’t care at all and it’s getting harder and harder to watch. Benoit was trying and Hennig was kind of trying, but the other two were just out there because a schedule said they were supposed to be. Thankfully Mongo would be gone soon after this.

Ric Flair tries to come in for the save and gets beaten down. David tries to come cover his dad but gets attacked as well. Hennig picks up the chair and we’re done.

Overall Rating: F. What a depressing show. I’m not sure what the main event is on Sunday, though the Flair match is getting more time than the ladder match. Other than that this was a lot of boring to horrible matches with a quick cameo from the NWO. Things should pick up a bit after Sunday but it can’t get much less interesting at this point.

 

 
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Smackdown – June 6, 2014: He Left For This?

Smackdown
Date: June 6, 2014
Location: U.S. Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

As I’m sure you’ve heard several times already, the main story coming into this show is the Shield breakup on Raw as Seth Rollins jumped from Shield to Evolution in a turn that doesn’t make a ton of sense on the surface but maybe they’ll turn it around with some solid promos. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the elimination tag, Batista quitting and Rollins turning on Shield the next night. This video doesn’t help a lot of the plot holes.

Here are HHH and Rollins for their medium speech as I’m sure the big one will be on Raw. Rollins is in his Shield gear and the fans tell him that he sold out. HHH says he isn’t out here to brag and say he told you so, but everyone knows that anyway. He talks about Rollins being the founder of the Shield, a team that crushed legends, giants and champions. They were the most dominant force in the world, so why did Rollins turn his back on them?

Rollins says everyone wants an explanation about why he did what he did to his brothers. The only person who needs to know and the only person that he owes anything to is him, which sounds like code for “We haven’t thought this all the way through.” Dolph Ziggler of all people interrupts him and says he can’t fall much further down so he can say this.

Ziggler dug the Shield for standing up to everyone and winning. What Rollins did was worse than anything else Shield did because Rollins is nothing more than a traitor. HHH says Ziggler is right. Seth did sell out, and he’ll sell out arenas night after night, which Ziggler will never do. That’s not enough though, so HHH makes Ziggler vs. Rollins right now.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Seth chokes him against the ropes to start but Ziggler comes back with right hands in the corner. A quick suplex gets two for Rollins and he pulls on Dolph’s hair for a bit. Ziggler sends him outside and kicks Rollins through the ropes as things calm down a bit. Back in and Rollins easily punches Dolph down again before putting on a chinlock. Dolph reverses into a sleeper but gets caught in a backpack stunner. Seth kicks him out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a cobra clutch but getting caught in the Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.

HHH goes over to the announce table to brag about his new man but Rollins charges into the running DDT. They slug it out with Ziggler getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner. Dolph throws him outside and hits a nice dropkick followed by the Fameasser inside for two. Seth comes back with an enziguri from the apron but takes too long going up and gets caught in the top rope X Factor for an even closer near fall. Another enziguri stops a charging Ziggler and the buckle bomb followed by the curb stomp put Ziggler away at 11:10 shown of 14:40.

Rating: C+. This was a good but not great match. The problem here is Rollins had to drop all of the stuff that was going to get him cheered which leaves him with a less exciting although still good style. Ziggler continues to be a completely different wrestler on Smackdown and Raw and it’s getting a bit tiresome. These matches are entertaining but you know not to expect anything on Mondays.

Bad News Barrett thinks it’s unfair that he has to defend his title against Cesaro and RVD. Why should he have to do that against two people far less classy than him? RVD is a flower child and Cesaro has fleas from sleeping with the dog that is Paul Heyman.

Orton shakes Rollins’ hand and welcomes him to the dark side. Big Show comes up and says Ziggler was right: Rollins is a piece of garbage. He’d love to see Rollins try that on him, but HHH makes Big Show vs. Orton for tonight instead.

Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title. Jey nails a quick uppercut on Ryback to start but is quickly sent outside for a shot from Axel to take over. A double suplex gets two on Jey and the middle rope elbow into a middle rope splash gets the same. We hit the chinlock from Ryback before the quick tags have Jey in even more trouble. Jey comes back with a superkick to send Ryback to the floor and another knocks Axel out of the corner. A hot tag brings in Jimmy for a Superfly Splash on Axel for the pin at 3:10. That was the only move he hit all match.

Rating: D+. This was the Randy Savage in 1995 formula of having the Usos get beaten down for almost the entire match before hitting two moves for a quick win. It gets the Usos back on their winning ways and it doesn’t really downgrade Ryback/Axel as they lost to a team higher up on the totem pole.

Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

This week Lana brags about Mikhail Gorbachev and various Russian athletes and dancers. Woods comes out in a combination of his regular attire and his old Consequences Creed gear. The kick and the Accolade end him in 36 seconds, but at least Woods’ attire looked better.

A giant Russian flag comes down behind Rusev after his win.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Barrett is defending of course and this is a result of Cesaro breaking up RVD’s title shot on Tuesday. Cesaro is quickly double teamed to the floor but comes back with a running uppercut to the champion’s back. Rob kicks them both down with ease for a double Rolling Thunder and two on both guys.

Cesaro sends Rob outside and stomps away on Barrett in the corner as Heyman shuts Cole down every few seconds with one great line after another. For instance, Cole: “Why did Cesaro interfere in the match on Tuesday?” Heyman: “It got him into the title match didn’t it?” The split legged moonsault gets two on Cesaro but Barrett pulls Rob to the floor as we go to a break. Back with Rob fighting out of Barrett’s chinlock and low bridging him out to the floor.

The big flip dive is blocked by an uppercut but Barrett runs Cesaro over and puts him on the barricade, allowing Rob to hit the spinning kick to the back. Back in and

Winds of Change get two on Rob and the German suplex gets the same on the American. Barrett gets knocked down by Cesaro who is kicked by Rob, setting up the Five Star. Rob walks around instead of covering though and walks into the Bull Hammer for the pin by Barrett at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C+. Another nice match here but nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times before. I would have thought they would save this for Money in the Bank but there’s a good chance Cesaro is in the ladder match. Barrett has now beaten Van Dam twice though so there’s no real need for them to keep going.

Bray Wyatt comes on screen and talks about being put in a box at Wrestlemania. It brought back a lot of memories and he heard Sister Abigail’s voice. She told him that the sharks would circle Bray and that death was real. He would find his peace in death but his rebirth would make him much stronger. His voice will soothe their ears and he will lead their armies. There’s nothing left to fear because he is reborn. Join him.

Videon NXT: Takeover.

Natalya vs. Alicia Fox

Fox is thrown down when trying a headscissors and a dropkick puts her on the floor. We get a mini fit out there and Alicia shouts at Natalya a lot for good measure. Now Alicia offers a handshake but Natalya smacks her in the face instead. Natalya does it again for good measure and gets thrown throat first into the bottom rope. A northern lights suplex gets two for Fox but Natalya counters the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a cross body for the pin at 3:18.

Rating: D+. I’m really not sure what they can do with Fox now as she’s still doing the same stuff but is now doing bits of it during the match. Again they couldn’t have her beat Paige so the character really has nowhere to go now. It’s still more interesting than anything else the division has going on, but when there’s no one else for her to work with due to there barely being a division, she’s pretty much stuck.

This week’s post match freak out includes Fox yelling at Lillian Garcia.

We look at Brie Bella quitting at Payback and Stephanie’s announcement about the fate of the WWE Title at Money in the Bank.

Bo Dallas vs. Santino Marella

We get the now traditional armdrag followed by the celebration to start but Santino scores with two armdrags of his own and celebrates. JBL: “Why would you do that?” Back in and Bo pulls him into a clothesline, followed by the Bodog for the pin at 1:58.

Post match Bo tells Emma to Bolieve.

Big Show talks about being bullied as a kid and not being able to fight back because there were so many of them at once. Then one day he was all alone with the leader and he knocked him out cold. I’m not sure how this ties into his match tonight as HHH is the bully but I’m more interested in trying to figure out if Be A Star is still a thing.

Video on the Rollins turn. The Shield will return to Raw next week. WWE needs to work on the definition of return.

Orton says he has to take care of Big Show tonight because the giant stuck his nose where it didn’t belong. Things can happen out of nowhere, like they did to Ambrose and Reigns.

Big Show vs. Randy Orton

A quick chop puts Orton on the floor but he comes back by going after the knee. That goes badly for him too as Big Show headbutts him out to the floor with ease. We take a break and come back with Orton holding Big Show in a chinlock. Back up and Big Show knocks Orton out of the air but a dropkick puts the bigger man down again. Orton manages to hit the Elevated DDT off the top but Big Show comes back with a spear. HHH gets on the apron but Rollins comes in with the springboard knee to the face for the DQ at 5:50.

Rating: D+. I don’t think this pairing really needs that much of an explanation. They never have worked all that well together and this was no exception. Also the ending was about as obvious as you could get, but that’s the kind of thing Big Show is used for anymore. It looks impressive when a giant is slain and stood over to end a show, even though that happens so often.

An RKO sets up a pair of curb stomps onto a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. So to clarify, Rollins is involved in one of the biggest turns in recent memory and he goes from main eventing a pay per view to not even being able to main event Smackdown. Rollins felt like a bodyguard for Orton here instead of being the star and that’s a problem with this story. Now that being said, I don’t think anyone thought the big drama would take place here so you can look at this as a placeholder show more than anything else.

The rest of the show wasn’t that much better. The matches were just ok and none of them were required viewing at all. One thing I will give them though: the Intercontinental Title has been more active in the last two weeks than it’s been in months. It’s not a great or even a very good feud and story, but there are two people after the belt and the title is being defended regularly. That’s all I ask. Not a great show this week but much more average and dull than bad.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Curb stomp
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam and Cesaro – Bull Hammer to Van Dam
Natalya b. Alicia Fox – Cross body
Bo Dallas b. Santino Marella – Bodog
Big Show b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

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Impact Wrestling – June 5, 2014: Can TNA Borrow HHH’s Shovel?

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 5, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re only a few weeks away from Slammiversary and the interesting thing is MVP has injured his knee in a match in England. However, everything tonight has been taped in advance, so unless something taped has been added in, it’s going to be interesting to see if he can make the title match or not. As for tonight, I’m sure we’re going to be bombarded with stuff about the trio which still needs a name. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Trio’s dominance until Samoa Joe made the save to end last week’s show.

The trio is looking for Samoa Joe.

Samoa Joe comes out with something to say. Joe talks about MVP looking for him, so here he is to make things easy for the boss. Cue the trio with King saying he’s tired of Joe trying to be a tough guy. Joe gets right in MVP’s face and tells him what the mouthpiece can do with his mouth. MVP says time is money and Joe is wasting his. Joe calls MVP a scumbag and a liar but MVP yells at him for bailing after losing a gauntlet match. Unlike Joe, MVP did his job. Joe wants to fight all of them tonight but here’s Austin Aries to interrupt. Aries wants in on this fight, so MVP makes Aries vs. Joe for tonight, loser leaving TNA.

Bram is ready for his fight with Willow tonight. However, he doesn’t think Magnus will ever be ready.

Willow vs. Bram

Willow hammers away in the corner to start but Bram takes over on the floor. Back in and an elbow to the jaw puts Willow down for some trash talking stomps. Willow nails three straight dropkicks including the slingshot version in the corner. They head outside again and Willow hits a big dive to take over again. Poetry In Motion off the steps has Bram in trouble but he sends Willow into the steps to put Willow down. Bram rams him into the steps and throws Willow back inside before pulling out that crowbar. Magnus tries to talk him out of it but Magnus blasts Willow with it instead for the DQ at 4:58.

Rating: C. This was more angle than match but the high spots were good. Bram is a solid guy out there and has a great look to him so I can’t complain all that much. Willow isn’t really all that extreme and is pretty much just Jeff Hardy with a stupid looking mask, making the whole thing stupid.

MVP gets in an argument with the Wolves before putting them in a match against each other. If they don’t do it, they lose the belts.

Mr. Anderson is imitating James Storm at some bar.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

Richards still has bad ribs. Kenny King is watch the match from the stage and doesn’t seem pleased. The Wolves starts very tentatively as they don’t want to hurt each other but King demands that the Wolves start showing some teeth. They trade modified surfboards followed by a half crab from Edwards. Eddie finally rolls him up for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D. This wasn’t supposed to be much of a match, but I’m really not sure what it was supposed to accomplish. Given how King was talking you would think he’d get beaten up after the match, but did they really need to fill in six minutes on this whole thing just for that kind of a payoff?

King says that’s not good enough and wants to see someone get beaten up. I think you can figure it out from there, but in case you can’t, King gets taken apart.

Dixie Carter freaks out on MVP for putting Aries and Joe in a contract match. MVP says don’t worry about it.

We recap Brittany telling Madison how she really felt.

Madison tells Brittany to stay out of her title match this week.

Robbie E. is scared of the clown in the Menagerie. Apparently he had a bad experience when he was ten years old and it still freaks him out today.

MVP tells the referee that there must be a winner in Joe vs. Aries.

Joe went home because MVP was another power hungry villain. Aries comes in and says Joe did go home. He says he saw MVP for what he was months ago and got sent home as a result. Tonight they’re both in trouble but only one can win.

The BroMans are in the ring and Robbie is still freaking out over the clowns. This brings out the Menagerie to laugh at the BroMans and scare them to death with the balloons. DJZ and Crazy Steve get in a horn off and the Menagerie cleans house.

Bully and Eric Young tell the referee to do the right thing tonight. Referee Brian Hebner says he has to put food on his table and leaves. Ray says they’ll do what they have to do.

Gunner and Samuel Shaw play Go Fish in the psych ward.

Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe

Loser is gone. Joe hammers away to start and hits an early Facewash in the corner. Aries fights out of the MuscleBuster and gets two off a rollup but Joe is too big to be taken up in the brainbuster. Instead Joe sends him into the corner for the enziguri but Aries rolls out of the corner Rock Bottom. There’s the Last Chancery but Eric Young comes out to pull Brian Hebner to the floor. He does the same when Joe puts on the Clutch and Bully Ray punches Hebner out. Joe and Aries are ticked off and we’ll call this a no contest at 5:30.

Rating: C-. You can barely grade this due to the ending, which is the biggest problem with the whole thing: this is the second match of the night that hasn’t had enough time to go anywhere and has been about the trio angle instead of anything else. That story is dominating everything and it’s getting annoying in a hurry.

Speaking of which, here’s the trio to say that MVP runs TNA. Ray says MVP has a god complex and should come fight. After some trash talk, we get the following match made for tonight: Bully Ray/Eric Young/Austin Aries/Samoa Joe vs. MVP/Kenny King/Samoa Joe/Bobby Lashley/Ethan Carter III, and let’s make it first blood because why not.

Anderson makes fun of cowboys again.

Now Anderson is in the arena as the most stereotypical cowboy ever. James Storm finally comes out and says he doesn’t take kindly to a man cheating in a drinking contest. Storm wants to fight but not tonight. Anderson comes out and the fight is on with Storm getting the better of it and nailing Last Call. A challenge is made for Slammiversary.

Gunner brings Shaw his sketchbook as part of his therapy. After a break, Gunner looks at drawings of Shaw in Christy’s shadown, Shaw’s house and Shaw’s mom. There’s an unfinished drawing of what looks to be Gunner, who asks Shaw to finish it now.

Knockouts Title: Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love

Angelina is defending and heads outside at the bell. The chase is on with Angelina chasing after Velvet for some reason until Madison catches the champion in the ring. A Velvet distraction lets Angelina dropkick Rayne to the floor and here’s Brittany to check on her. Back in and Madison nails some clotheslines to take over followed by the mat humper. Not that it matters as Velvet sprays hairspray into Brittany’s eyes to give Love the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Yes believe it or not, this was the exact same thing we’ve seen from the Beautiful People since they reunited. I’m assuming we’re leading towards Brittany being hurt by Madison not wanting her and join the Beautiful People as a result, but it’s not exactly thrilling stuff getting there.

After a break, Madison wants to know why Brittany didn’t help her. Brittany logically points out that she did exactly what Madison told her to do.

Ethan Carter III/MVP/Kenny King/Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young/Samoa Joe/Bully Ray/Eric Young

First blood for no apparent reason. Aries and King get us going as you have to tag in a match where it’s about blood. A quick Last Chancery is broken up by Ethan so Aries takes him over to the corner for a tag off to Young. Carter runs away from Ray but Bully wants MVP. They slug it out with Ray getting the better of it via a big boot to the face so it’s quickly off to King. Ray catches him in a front facelock and brings in Joe. King runs off as well so we get Lashley vs. Joe in a showdown. That sounds interesting so let’s take a break.

Back with Joe hitting the running enziguri in the corner on Lashley and bringing in the World Champion. Eric gets taken down in the corner and the heels stat their shots to the head. They show some nice thinking by going after the forehead with punches and kicks followed by a hard elbow from MVP. All four villains get in some shots to Young’s head with Ethan asking if Eric is ready to bleed.

Young finally breaks free and makes the tag off to Joe who clans house. Lashley spears him down but gets caught by an Eric missile dropkick. Everything breaks down and we get the secondary finishers a go-go. Aries dives off the top to take out MVP and King but Ethan plants Ray with a spinebuster. Ray grabs the chain and blasts Carter in the head for the blood and the win at 14:45.

Rating: D+. I have no idea why this was a first blood match. It’s not terrible but there was no reason to not have this be a regular match and have Ray pin King. The match didn’t do anything of note though and doesn’t advance the story for the most part. Considering there are only two matches set for Slammiversary, this wasn’t the most logical match.

As the winners celebrate, we cut to the back to see the trio destroying Ethan. Dixie breaks it up and gets in MVP’s face, saying the same blood in Ethan flows through her. MVP doesn’t care so Dixie says if he wants a war, he’s got one. This REALLY felt like something to make us sympathize with the Carters and that’s about as bad of an idea as they could have.

Overall Rating: D+. The more I watch TNA, the more it becomes apparent that this main event scene is a disaster. There are WAY too many people running around in it as you have the eight in the main event tonight, plus the Wolves and Dixie. That’s WAY too much for one angle and it’s bogging things down. It doesn’t help that we have to sit through the long series of segments over and over again every week because almost nothing else gets significant time.

Look at the Wolves for example. Their match was set up in about 30 seconds, it didn’t even last five minutes, and it was never mentioned again. It’s clear that their match wasn’t a priority at all and that they were on the card so we would remember they exist and happen to be champions. The angle needs to split into stand alone stories (Joe vs. Lashley and Ray vs. Carter would work fine) to let the main event breathe a bit.

On top of that, Eric Young feels like he’s just there because he’s World Champion. I know that that’s obvious, but he feels like a supporting character in what’s really Bully and Aries’ fight with the trio. It would make sense to get the title off of Young soon and get the real big names into the feud. Young has been fine in the role, but he’s just not a World Champion caliber guy.

Finally, there is some hope for TNA: the midcard stuff actually has my interest. I’m curious to see where the Gunner/Shaw stuff goes and the Storm vs. Anderson match should be good. Adding Brittany into the Beautiful People stuff is at least something different and Bram/Magnus as a ruthless team is good stuff. There are some solid stories in TNA if you can get past half the roster being in one story.

Results
Willow b. Bram via DQ when Magnus interfered
Eddie Edwards b. Davey Richards – Rollup
Austin Aries vs. Samoa Joe went to a no contest
Angelina Love b. Madison Rayne – Rollup
Bully Ray/Eric Young/Samoa Joe/Austin Aries b. Ethan Carter III/Bobby Lashley/MVP/Kenny King – Chain shot to Carter

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