Monday Night Raw – May 26, 2014: We Get It Already

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 26, 2014
Location: Thompson-Boling Arena, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Payback and the main story coming into tonight is the announcement of the future of the WWE Championship. You would think they would wait until either Payback or the night after so the focus wasn’t taken off the pay per view but it’s WWE and they would never do something stupid that would cost over a billion dollars in a day right? Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional Memorial Day montage. That’s always cool to see.

Here’s a gloating Authority to open things up. Stephanie talks about how Bryan has to do the right thing. “Yes, you know he’ll do what he has to do.” The Authority wasn’t happy about what’s happened here and didn’t want to be right on this one. The fans want to see the champion defend the title every night but right now Daniel Bryan can’t do that.

HHH says Bryan needs to make the right choice and how there are people in every generation that adapt to become legends, but there are people like Daniel Bryan who just can’t do it. People that don’t adapt fail and those that do thrive, and that is evolution. This Sunday, the Shield will find out that you can’t stop Evolution. There’s a contract signing tonight and the Shield will have the chance to adapt and not show up on Sunday, or sign and perish.

This brings Stephanie to Brad Maddox who needs to come out here right now. Maddox finally comes out and HHH just rips into him. Last week, HHH said only official people could be out here, so Brad made the Shield “official” commentators. Brad implies that he was beaten half to death but Stephanie doesn’t want to hear it. Here’s Kane and HHH knocks Brad down. She tells Kane to teach him a lesson and after a few seconds, Kane plants Maddox with a chokeslam. A tombstone is added as a bonus and Stephanie fires him.

Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Cesaro vs. Sheamus for the US Title on Sunday. It’s also now called Payback pay per view with Cole ramming that down our throats every two seconds. Barrett comes out before the match and says it’s officially summer and Van Dam’s is going to get off to a bad start. Cesaro jumps Van Dam from behind as Barrett sits in on commentary (“Look it’s me it’s me it’s BNB!”). A gutwrench suplex puts Van Dam down but he comes back with a clothesline to put Cesaro on the floor. The moonsault from the apron is caught in midair and Van Dam is dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro covering four times in a row off something we didn’t see. Van Dam fights back with a kick to the face and Rolling Thunder for two as Heyman is getting nervous. Cesaro falls outside and gets caught with a dive but Van Dam has to kick Barrett in the jaw (looked awesome). Back in and Van Dam kicks Cesaro down, setting up the split legged moonsault for two. Barrett offers a distraction though and the German suplex is good for the pin on Van Dam at 9:34.

Rating: C+. The match worked but here’s my usual complaint about the booking: why would you have Van Dam take a fall here? Put Sheamus/Van Dam vs. Barrett/Cesaro and do a double countout or DQ or something like that. Don’t have anyone get pinned before the matches on Sunday so no one looks bad. Why is this so complicated? I will give them points for establishing the German suplex as another finisher.

Sheamus runs out for a Brogue Kick to Cesaro post match.

Eva Marie vs. Summer Rae

Eva takes over to start and blows kisses into the crowd. Summer hammers away in the corner but gets thrown down by the head. Eva is rammed face first into the mat a few times as the fans chant for Daniel Bryan. Cue Fandango and Layla to distract Summer, allowing Eva to grab a horrible rollup for the pin at 1:57. I had the entire previous sentence written other than the time as soon as Fandango’s music started.

Goldust and Cody Rhodes come into HHH’s office to find out why they’re not on the show tonight. They find Batista and Orton instead. Trash is talked and a match is made. HHH has another idea for the match but doesn’t say what it is yet.

El Torito vs. Drew McIntyre

Torito draws a line on the mat but crosses it himself. Drew tries to throw him into the air but gets caught in an armdrag. McIntyre easily slams him down and shoves Torito around the ring as this is one sided. Los Matadores break up a superplex and Drew gets slammed onto the buckle, giving Torito the fluke pin at 2:28.

Post match Horny goes after Torito’s mask but settles for his tail instead. JBL: “THE HUMANITY!” Torito runs away in shame.

After a break Torito gets an ice pack.

Here are the Wyatts (in Tennessee because they can’t say Knoxville for some reason) with a message for the Cenation. First up though, it’s time to sing. Those words have never been truer because the world really is leaning on him. He only wants what’s best for everyone, but sometimes that’s not the easiest path. In this life, we all have to make sacrifices. We do that every day, just so we can feed our children while someone else tells us who to be and how to act.

Someday everyone will realize how pointless that is and one day we have to receive the anti-vemon for that snake bite. Bray asks if he’s the poison or the cure. He’s the necessary evil that the world needs and in the end if you’re his brother or sister, you will stand right beside him. But if you’re his enemy, you will fall at his feet. John Cena is enemy to us all and at Payback, Bray will be the last man standing. However, Cena shouldn’t be the only man punished. A Cena chant starts up and Bray just laughs at it.

Bray says to get to the kings you have to go through the pawns. This brings Bray to Jerry Lawler of all people. “Come on Jerry. I don’t bite.” Jerry shakes his head so Wyatt sends the Family after him. Bray tells JBL not to play hero or he’ll be next. Bradshaw gets up anyway but Harper runs him over. Rowan shoves him into the discus lariat and Lawler is directed into the ring.

Jerry sits in a chair in the ring as Bray says Lawler is responsible for a lot of Cena’s fame. For years, Jerry has fed the fans all these lies about John Cena being a great man, but never once has Lawler questioned his morality. Bray asks if Lawler feels any remorse over this and it’s time to pay the penalty. The Family grabs Lawler and Bray leans over in the corner. Here’s Cena but Bray is holding Lawler in the corner. They get Cena down as Bray says he’s going to hurt Cena at Payback. First though, it’s Sister Abigail to Lawler, with Bray saying it’s all Cena’s fault. The Usos make the save before it can happen though.

Cena and company clear the ring and John grabs the mic. Bray shouts that he’s a god and Cena wants to know if Bray thinks about this stuff. He quotes Abraham Lincoln by saying you can test a man by giving him power. Bray has been given power and it’s made him sick. Wyatt tried to hurt a sick man because they don’t agree on something. That’s not a necessary evil but just pure evil. A Cena chant breaks out as Cena says he believes in what he does. If the Wyatt Family likes it or not, Bray Wyatt needs to be stopped. Payback is about being the last man standing and John will bring Bray to justice.

Lawler and Cole are on commentary by themselves now.

Zack Ryder vs. Rusev

Ryder brings out an American flag to make the squash all the more painful. Before the match, Lana talks about how American patriots are embarrassing and require disciplinary actions. Zack tries to hammer away but is taken down by a single shot. Lana almost immediately says crush and the Accolade ends Ryder in 36 seconds.

Big E. runs out for another save attempt but gets stomped down in the corer. This time though Big E. fights back with the running body attack and clotheslines Rusev to the floor. The Stars and Stripes are waived for the feel good moment.

Stephanie is talking to Alberto Del Rio about something we can’t hear.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Batista/Cody Rhodes

Batista drives Cody into the corner to start before doing the same to Goldust. Off to Orton who gets rollup for two before it’s back to Cody. Randy takes him into the corner with ease and hammers away before it’s back to Batista as Evolution takes over. A big elbow to the jaw puts Cody down but he escapes a powerslam and dives to the corner for a tag. Goldust tries to fight back but Randy gets in a shot from the apron, allowing Batista to nail a spinebuster for two.

Back from a break with Batista working on Goldust’s back until Goldie nails some right hands to both villains. Not that it matters much as Big Dave takes him down with a big clothesline for two. Goldust nails a cross body and makes the tag off to Cody as things speed up. A springboard missile dropkick gets two on Orton and Batista gets dropped as well, but Orton catches the Disaster Kick with an RKO to knock Rhodes silly. Another RKO is good for the pin on Cody at 10:05.

Actually we’re not done yet because this is an elimination match, meaning it’s now Batista/Orton vs. Goldust. It’s also no holds barred to make it even more fun. Goldust is surrounded on the floor but comes up swinging. That goes about as well as you would expect and Evolution starts taking their time. Goldust backdrops Orton to the apron but walks into a spear. The RKO lays Goldust out again and a Batista Bomb is good for the pin at 13:25 total.

Rating: D+. I thought they were going with the elimination rules here and it makes sense going into Sunday. Imagine that: making a team look good going into a match instead of having someone in the match get beaten six days before the big match. The Rhodes’ split seems to take a week off tonight as there were no issues at all here.

Bo Dallas vs. Sin Cara

JBL is back on commentary and says he’s never been hit that hard in his life. Bo takes over with a headlock and goes outside to celebrate. Back in and a hard whip into the corner gets two on Cara and some knees to the face lead to another celebration. An enziguri puts Dallas down and that snap Angle Slam looks to set up the Swanton. Bo is up quickly though and hits the Bodog out of the corner for the pin at 2:53.

Bo says you get satisfaction from trying and you all need to BOLIEVE!

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Stephanie to say the future of the WWE Title has to be decided but first of all, we need Daniel out here to do the right thing. Bryan comes out with his neck in a soft brace as Stephanie says that Bryan needs to do the right thing. He can’t defend the title right now and that’s what the fans deserve, so do what needs to be done. Bryan says that winning the title means the world to him but Stephanie has a point.

The neck injury is worse than he thought and a large part of that is due to Kane. However, Bryan finds it interesting that Stephanie claimed she had no power over Kane but earlier tonight she was able to tell him what to do with ease. Bryan says he’ll be back and there’s no shame in handing the title over. However, Stephanie has been wanting to do this since he won the title and handing them over would just prove her right.

Daniel says it would throw everything he’s worked for out the window and be an insult to everyone who ever changed YES. Therefore, he says NO, he won’t hand her the title. Stephanie shows us a clip of Brie Bella shoving Stephanie a few weeks ago. That’s not ok with Stephanie, so if Bryan doesn’t surrender the title on Sunday, Brie is fired.

Alicia Fox vs. Emma

Fox is getting the title shot on Sunday. Emma sends her into the corner to start for the Emma Sandwich and Fox rolls outside. She says she doesn’t need this and goes to leave but nails Emma as she goes after Fox. Emma gets draped over the apron and caught by the ax kick for two. Fox misses a charge into the corner and gets pinned at 2:28. Well that happened.

Fox beats up Emma post match and shouts that she isn’t a loser. This week she rings the bell a lot and shouts about it again. A tech guy gets beaten up and Alicia rips his underwear up. This just kind of keeps going as Fox pulls some sodas out from under the ring. She shakes them up and a few drops get on the tech guy. Fox pours a soda on herself and kisses the tech guy she went after earlier.

Long video on the veterans.

Davy Crockett vs. Adam Rose

It’s Sandow for reasons that I really don’t care to know. This is Rose’s in ring debut in WWE. Sandow is wrestling in a coonskin cap and sends Rose into the ropes. Adam leans back and kicks his feet forward so Sandow can’t come near him. Here are Colter and Swagger, who have kidnapped the lemon from Rose’s party. The distraction doesn’t work though and Sandow gets caught in the Party Foul (Diamond Cutter driver) for the pin at 1:40.

Rose takes out Swagger post match.

Sheamus vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Sheamus takes over to start and gets an early one off a middle rope knee. There are the ten forearms to the chest and the fight heads outside. That goes nowhere at all so Del Rio catches Sheamus with a few boots as he comes back in and we take a break. Back with Del Rio jawing with the referee before Sheamus fights back with right hands. The running ax handles drop Alberto but Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post.

A hard kick to the head has Sheamus in trouble but he comes back with the Irish Curse for two. Del Rio kicks him in the head again but gets caught in White Noise. He loads up the Brogue Kick but stops to hold his head. Del Rio hits the corner enziguri and the low superkick (SICK) for two. The armbreaker is countered and the Brogue Kick is good for the pin at 9:20.

Rating: C. This is the annoying thing about Sheamus’ booking: this makes Del Rio look weak. He hit every huge move he could and in theory he should have won the match. That being said, it’s better to have Sheamus win to keep him strong before Sunday, but it’s still rather annoying to have him get the win with a single move.

Post match Heyman pops up and says that wasn’t an important win (but it was when Brock Lesnar conquered the Streak). Sheamus goes after him but Cesaro comes back and destroys Sheamus with hard shots to the head. Sheamus can’t even stand up and is finally kept down with the Neutralizer.

Here’s Shield for the contract signing. Ambrose says this isn’t going to be a normal contract signing as Reigns is throwing the chairs and table out of the ring. Evolution comes out and HHH reminisces about Shield signing their first contracts here. HHH thinks they shouldn’t sign because it’s their death warrant. Shield of course signs and throws the contract to Evolution who does the same. HHH says Shield is just going to be a statistic but Reigns shushes him. “Get in the ring and fight.”

The war is about to start but Shield easily sends them to the floor. Rollins hits his flip dive but Batista takes Ambrose down. That only gets him the Superman Punch but HHH gets in a sledgehammer shot to prevent the spear. More sledgehammer shots put Reigns on the floor and his teammates are put down as well. A TripleBomb puts Reigns through the table and Evolution stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was trying but you could feel the heavy hand of McMahon messing with things. It felt like a huge infomercial instead of a wrestling show and while that’s logical for a go home show, it got really annoying in a hurry. Between Cole saying “Payback pay per view” every 18 seconds to explaining EVERY SINGLE IDEA EVER and how so and so was the #1 TRENDING TOPIC IN THE WORLD and the World Title scene being about Stephanie (I’m shocked too), this felt like they were taking things too seriously again.

WWE does this time to time and it gets annoying. Sometimes it’s ok to lighten up a bit and they’re far from that at the moment. You have the concussion stuff with Sheamus, Fox losing her mind and everything else being the most important thing in the world on Sunday (again, not a bad thing to do). All of that makes it hard to stay with a show.

There was good stuff on here though. More than anything else, Payback got some much needed matches added to the card to really flesh things out. A lot of logical matches were added and I’d assume Big E. vs. Rusev is coming too. It’s definitely not a bad show but they really need to calm down a bit and stop with the taglines.

Results
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam – German suplex
Eva Marie b. Summer Rae – Rollup
El Torito b. Drew McIntyre – Pin after Drew fell off the ropes

Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Batista/Randy Orton b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes – Batista Bomb to Goldust
Bo Dallas b. Sin Cara – Bodog
Emma b. Alicia Fox – Rollup

Adam Rose b. Davy Crockett – Party Fowl
Sheamus b. Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick

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The Future of the WWE Championship

It was actually announced.

….but nothing will actually happen until Sunday. Bryan refused to hand over the title but Stephanie said he has until Sunday to do it or Brie is fired due to Brie shoving her a few weeks ago.




Brad Maddox Fired As GM

Due to him allowing Shield to come to the ring last week. Kane beat him up before Stephanie made the announcement. This should have happened eight months ago.




Wrestler of the Day – May 7: Owen Hart

Today is someone who truly did die too young: Owen Hart.

Obviously Owen got his start in his dad’s company and would become the North American Heavyweight Champion. Here’s a title defense against Bad News Allen from some point in the mid-80s.

North American Heavyweight Title: Bad News Allen vs. Owen Hart

We’re joined about ten minutes in (a common practice for Stampede) with Owen hitting a flip splash for two and cranking on Allen’s neck. A legdrop gets two on Allen and Owen stomps away but gets caught in the ribs to knock him into the ribs. Hart gets two off an atomic drop and drops an elbow for the same. We hit a Boston crab on Allen as this has been one sided so far.

Allen powers out and hammers away but a single uppercut drops him for two. The announcer tells us that Owen was dominated the first few minutes of the match but has been in full control ever since. A tombstone plants Allen but he gets his knees up to block a top rope splash. Allen comes back with a slam but gets tossed off the top. Hart nips up but gets caught by a belly to belly suplex. The fans are entirely behind Owen here and he comes back with a spinning cross body off the top but Makhan Singh (a monster) comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Owen’s high flying being complimented by some surprising power. Allen was on defense far more than I was expecting here and the inconclusive ending keeps the door open for a rematch before Owen goes after Singh, which would be a huge feud.

Owen would head to the WWF soon after this and be put under a mask as the Blue Blazer, a superhero. From Superstars in 1988.

Barry Horowitz vs. Blue Blazer

The Blazer backflips into the ring and actually impresses Ventura. A springboard hiptoss puts Barry down and an armdrag sets up an armbar. Vince: “Jesse your career was mediocre at best.” Jesse: “At least I had one.” Barry comes back with a running knee to the ribs and a knee drop for two but the Blazer gets the same off a cross body out of the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a belly to belly which sets up a moonsault to pin Horowitz. Too short to rate but the Blazer looked AWESOME.

The Blazer would face newcomer Mr. Perfect at Wrestlemania V.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

That would be Owen Hart in a kind of superhero gimmick that eventually led to his death. Perfect is pretty new here too and I believe is debuting his singlet look. Hennig hits a quick hiptoss that doesn’t do much at all. Blazer blocks a slap and takes Perfect down to stagger Hennig a bit.

They slightly botch a flip out of a hiptoss and Blazer dropkicks Perfect to the floor. Blazer hits a quick hiptoss (why is that so popular here?) of his own and a dropkick for no cover. A modified northern lights suplex gets two for Blue but a top rope splash hits knees. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments by Perfect but Blazer fights up and hits a standing powerslam and a belly to belly for two each. A crucifix gets two more but Blazer spends too long arguing with the referee and the PerfectPlex ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This match is popular for some reason but it’s only pretty good. Owen would get to show off a lot better later on and the Blazer gimmick didn’t stick around that long. The ending here was clean too which is what Perfect would get quite often around this time. He wouldn’t really do anything of note for about a year though until having a house show feud with Hogan.

After doing very little in 1990, Owen would head to WCW for a short run in 1991, including this match on Worldwide on March 30, 1991.

Owen Hart vs. Pat Rose

Some hiptosses and armdrags set up a dropkick to send Rose to the mat. Rose cranks on Owen’s arm but Hart does the spin up to take over. The springboard hiptoss followed by a gutwrench suplex have Pat in even more trouble. Owen enziguris him down and it’s a missile dropkick into a bad looking top rope spinning cross body to complete the squash.

Owen would head back to the WWF in 1992 and hook up with Jim Neidhart as New Foundation. They had a match at Royal Rumble 1992.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

It’s Owen/Neidhart as the Foundation here. Owen and Kato start thing off here. All four guys look like they’re in pajamas here. Owen takes him down to the mat by the arm before climbing up the ropes (not in the corner mind you but just the ropes) to backflip into the ring for an armdrag. A rana puts Kato down and it’s off to Neidhart vs. Tanaka. Tanaka gets run over as well, so here’s Owen to beat him up.

Tanaka gets caught by an enziguri and it’s back to Neidhart. The Express gets clotheslined down by Jim and Owen adds a double cross body for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same for Hart so Kato tries to come in sans tag. The distraction lets Fuji hit Owen with the cane to finally give the Express control. Tanaka hooks a chinlock as this isn’t exactly as fast paced as last year’s opener.

Owen gets to do Bret’s chest to the buckle bump before charging into a superkick in the other corner for two. After Kato comes in and does nothing, here’s Tanaka again for a headbutt to the abdomen. A chinlock goes nowhere but a headbutt gets two on Owen. Neidhart gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it of course. The distraction allows Fuji to put the cane on the corner and Owen’s shoulder goes through it in a loud crunch.

It only gets two though as Owen gets a leg over the rope. Kato channels his inner Anderson with a hammerlock slam before it’s back to Tanaka. Owen finally escapes and things break down for a bit, resulting in a double clothesline for two on Hart. A superkick to the chest doesn’t put Owen down, but Tanaka jumping over Kato to land on Hart’s back does. Hart comes back with a dropkick to take out both members of the Express at once. There’s the hot tag to Neidhart and house is cleaned. Owen dives onto Kato before a Rocket Launcher gets the pin on Tanaka.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but it felt like they were trying to do the same match that worked so well in 1991. The problem was the Express wasn’t anything that good anymore and the team was gone almost immediately after this. Either way, the match wasn’t bad and it’s fine for an opener. The New Foundation never quite did anything until 1994 when Owen was a heel.

Later in the year, Owen would start teaming with his brother Bret as an occasional tag team. From November 14, 1993.

Bret Hart/Owen Hart vs. Well Dunn

It’s Timothy Well and Steven Dunn because the WWF was stupid in this era. Dunn and Owen get things going with Steven easily being taken to the mat. Off to Bret who hammers away on the arm. JR and Heenan talk about Jerry Lawler getting destroyed at the Survivor Series, though this was probably taped well in advance of the change to the match. Well comes in and gets hammered by both Harts with Owen working over the arm. Dunn makes a blind tag and clotheslines Owen down before choking away.

We take a break and come back with Owen in a chinlock. That of course doesn’t last long as Heenan talks about Owen being tied up on a leash when the Hart Family dog ran away. Owen cleans house and dives over for a tag off to Bret. Everything breaks down and the Five Moves of Doom take care of Dunn for the submission.

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect which means it was rather dull. Well Dunn stuck around for awhile and never got past this level. To be fair though, when your name makes Pretty Wonderful look good, you can’t really expect to get that high up on the card. Nothing match.

Next up is Wrestlemania X, due to all of the issues with the Hart Brothers and Owen thinking he was stuck in Bret’s shadow. This is Owen’s crowning achievement.

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

For reasons I’m not clear on, the Fink isn’t the announcer tonight. They lock up to start and Owen shoves Bret away, earning himself some celebrating. Bret takes him down to the mat but Owen escapes and celebrates again. Back to the mat for some amateur stuff but Owen grabs the rope. Owen tries to take it to the mat but Bret easily counters to send him out to the floor. Back in and Owen slaps him in the face to fire up his older brother.

More amateur stuff ensues and Owen gets to do his spinning counter to a wristlock, only to pull Bret down by the hair. Bret channels his inner Shawn and nips up before getting two off a rollup. Bret takes over with an armbar and a clothesline to send Owen out to the floor. Back in again and Bret slaps the blonde Hart before rolling him up for two. Bret hooks the armbar again before getting two off a crucifix. We’re about five minutes into this now and there is absolutely nothing to complain about. They get up again and Owen hits a sweet spinwheel kick to take over before stomping Bret to the floor.

Owen rams Bret back first into the post as the anger is starting to seep out. A backbreaker sets up a camel clutch back inside as Lawler is loving this. Owen yells at his brother in a great touch to the evilness. Bret breaks it pretty quickly but walks into a belly to belly suplex for two. A cross body by Owen is rolled through by Bret for two but Owen goes straight to the back again. Owen hits a German suplex for two and drops a leg on the back of Bret’s head for two more.

Bret tries to spin out of a suplex but gets caught in a tombstone. Owen goes up top but misses a swan dive, giving Bret the breather that he’s been needing. Bret starts firing back and gets two each off a clothesline and a Russian legsweep. There’s the backbreaker followed by the middle rope elbow for two more. It’s Sharpshooter time but Owen pops up and hits the enziguri to put Bret down.

Another Sharpshooter attempt is countered by Owen and a rollup gets two on Bret. This is very fast paced stuff. Owen heads to the floor and we get LUCHA BRET as he takes out his brother. He hurts his knee in the process though and Owen is very happy. Back inside and Owen goes for the leg, wrapping it around the post a few times because that’s what villains do. Off to an inverted Indian Deathlock by Owen but he lets it go before too long.

There’s a yet to be named dragon screw leg whip followed by a Figure Four (wrong leg of course) as Bret is in big trouble. Bret reverses and rolls into the ropes to break the hold but his knee is gone. An enziguri finally puts Owen down and buys big brother a breather. A headbutt puts Owen down again and there’s the chest first into the buckle bump for Owen. A bulldog gets two on Owen as does a sweet piledriver.

There’s a superplex for a delayed two as Jerry Lawler is freaking out. A sleeper is quickly broken up by a hidden low blow from Owen and it’s time for the Sharpshooter on Bret. The older Hart slaps the mat but it doesn’t mean anything yet. Bret reverses into a Sharpshooter of his own but Owen is right in front of the ropes. Owen charges into a boot in the corner so Bret loads up a rollup, but Owen counters into a cradle for the 100% clean pin.

Rating: A+. If there’s a better opening match anywhere, I’d love to see it. This was Owen’s coming out party and he looked excellent in doing it. Bret has no shame in losing here as he didn’t so much get beat as much as he got caught. This set up a great feud over the summer for the title between these two, but it never reached this level again. There was some DEEP psychology going on out there with Bret being hesitant to fight his brother and Owen using the advantage to catch Bret in a wrestling move, all on top of the leg injury. Excellent match and one of the best ever.

Owen was officially on a roll as he entered the 1994 King of the Ring. Here’s the final.

King of the Ring Finals: Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Like I said, the finals were about as predictable as you ever could imagine. Only the Harts can manage to make pink look cool. I think Razor has worn different color tights in every match which someone always does. Ok, right there, Razor shows that he’s at least somewhat intelligent as he does something very smart. Owen goes for a crossbody and Razor was supposed to catch him for the fallaway slam that he does.

They botch it as Owen either doesn’t get high enough or Razor couldn’t get him up enough, but one way or another they messed it up. So what does Razor do? Does he complete the spot anyway but make it look like crap? Nope, instead he sets Owen down and does a regular slam. See, that right there is what you call intelligence and being on your game in a match. See, if they had done the spot anyway, it would have looked bad.

Instead we get a much more basic, yet still completely believable and FAR better executed spot that worked just as well. Razor was smart there and it made things look much better. That’s a great sign. In kind of a tell tale sign, we can see the announcers and Gorilla and Savage are looking down at the monitors as most commentators do while Donovan is looking at the ring.

If nothing else he’s trying. I can’t fault Donovan for not trying. He’s done what he could all night, but it just isn’t working. He’s simply too old and confused here without having enough on camera presence to pull this off. I will say this though: he doesn’t sound bored or miserable about being there, which makes up for a lot. I’ve said this many times: if you don’t want to be there, leave.

The best example of a guy that clearly wanted to be there and was having a lot of fun doing this is Ray Combs from Survivor Series 93. He was a horrible announcer with some of his jokes and misunderstanding of the rules, but dang he was having a blast out there and he didn’t get in the way of the match at all. That’s how you do guest commentary. He added stuff where he could and he made the match a bit more fun.

The key though: he was having a good time, or at least made you believe he was. That’s all I ask. Owen puts on an abdominal stretch and two things come to my attention. First of all, he grabs the rope for additional leverage. The thing is, to me it looks like that’s taking pressure off of Razor. Owen is less than a foot from the ropes as he doesn’t even have to extend his arm to get to them, so how much help is that giving him?

Also, in something that actually made me laugh out loud, he hooks the toe around Razor’s leg which is the common criticism from Gorilla. Ok, so for once we have the perfect abdominal stretch. Gorilla should be happy right? I quote, “This is a mistake by Owen because this hold isn’t going to work on a guy like Razor no matter how well you put it on.” It’s official: Monsoon can never be satisfied, period.

He spends nearly 20 years complaining about no one ever hooking the leg around and the first time anyone does, the hold is worthless anyway. That’s just awesome on about a million levels. After Razor makes his comeback, Jim Neidhart makes his second run in of the night and beats up Razor. A top rope elbow from Owen gives him the win. A Hart Attack follows and Owen is crowned King. He names himself the King of Harts which was his nickname for a very long time.

Rating: C+. Eh, this was ok I guess. Both guys were a bit tired, but the biggest problem was that I don’t think anyone believed that Razor was going to win this. It was always going to be Owen and that was clear for weeks leading into this. The match was ok enough but it still wasn’t great. For a final though with a given ending, this was ok. Both guys were fairly sharp in the ring, so I’ll let this one get by. It wasn’t great, but I’ve seen far worse matches.

Owen would pick up the feud with Bret again at Summerslam 1994.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

It’s escape only to win. Owen jumps him as soon as Bret is inside the cage, raining down right hands in the corner. Bret comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline as their parents are watching in the front row. Owen pulls Bret down as he tries to climb out before going for a climb of his own. Bret pulls him back down and goes for the door, only to be pulled back in as well. We’re still very early in the match at this point.

Bret keeps lunging for the door but Owen keeps pulling him back in. They swap the roles for the next turn but Owen still can’t escape. With the door closed Bret tries to climb out, only to be slammed off the cage wall. Owen climbs up and manages to get all the way out but he can’t get down on the floor before Bret makes a save. Owen is pulled back in and they fight on the top rope with Bret being knocked back into the ring. Instead of climbing out again though, Owen dropkicks Bret down and climbs again.

The champion makes another save before climbing up to the top of the cage, straddling the top of it. Owen pulls him back in and they continue slugging it out on the top rope. Bret rams him into the cage wall but loses his balance in the process, putting both guys back down. Jim Neidhart and Davey Boy Smith, both brothers in law of the two in the ring, are watching in the crowd.

Bret punches Owen down again and drops an elbow but Owen makes another save. This time as Bret comes down though, he slams his knee into the mat to put him in real trouble. Neidhart, who has since turned on Bret and sided with Owen, is very pleased. Even though Bret is down, he isn’t down enough to stop Owen from leaving. He gets slammed down off the cage but Owen grabs a climbing Bret’s leg, pulling him back inside.

Owen is up first but Bret makes about his 49th save of the match. Bret rams him face first into the steel and goes up again but Owen reaches through the bars to bring him back in. Back in again and Owen plants the champion with a piledriver but Bret still makes a save. Owen throws Bret down off the cage but Owen falls as well. Bret crawls for the door and gets the upper half of his body out, only to be pulled back in again by his younger brother. The drama on these near escapes is getting higher and higher.

Back in and Bret slingshots his brother into the cage, rattling his brains even more. They both slowly get up and Owen is rammed face first into the cage. The problem is that as Bret rams him in, Bret rams his knee into the cage and injures it. The champion tries to get out but can’t climb that fast, allowing Owen to make ANOTHER save. Owen makes another attempt to get out but his exhaustion slows him down and lets Bret stop him.

They slug it out on the top rope with both guys being rammed face first into the cage. Bret knocks Owen down but gets pulled back down as well. A double clothesline puts both guys down one more time and it’s Owen going up first. He climbs to the corner though, allowing Bret to catch up with him and superplex Owen off the top of the cage. Bret crawls for the door but Owen makes the save and puts on the Sharpshooter.

There aren’t any submissions in the match but it can make it impossible for Bret to climb. However Bret, the master of the Sharpshooter, counters into one of his own and Owen is in trouble. Bret goes for the escape but he STILL can’t keep Owen down long enough. They ram each other into the cage and both fall down before Owen climbs again. Both guys climb to the outside and it’s a race to the bottom. Owen is rammed into the cage though and gets his legs caught in the cage bars, allowing Bret to drop down and retain the title.

Rating: A+. This match was all about drama and they certainly gave us that. The match ran over half an hour and had nothing but near escapes the entire time. Bret didn’t so much win this match as he did survive it. This match has been called the last great cage match and it’s really hard to argue with that. Excellent match with great drama throughout.

Post match Neidhart jumps Davey Boy, throws Bret back in and locks himself in with them. A huge beatdown of Bret ensues as the Hart Brothers try to get in the cage. Davey Boy FINALLY gets in and the other brothers follow to save Bret.

In the back Owen says Neidhart is his real family. A series of great tag matches followed.

And this is one of them.

Bret Hart/British Bulldog vs. Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart

Ok, this HAS to be good right? Bret is world champion here so this is probably around August of 94 as that was the top feud around that time. Still in Albany and likely at the same show. Apparently this was October 19, 1994. I’ve always wondered which shows they picked to film and how they were chosen. Bret and Owen start so we’re guaranteed a good start at least. Granted after that last match anything sounds great.

I love Owen celebrating while doing absolutely nothing. Lots of chain wrestling to start as you would expect. Bret works on the arm and gets a crucifix for two. They speed it up a bit and Bret gets a clothesline to put Owen on the floor. Back in and Bret taunts Neidhart, saying he wants the Anvil.

Now here’s a match I don’t think I’ve ever seen. Bret tries his usual stuff but Anvil catches him in a bear hug. Hart bites Anvil’s head to escape and it’s time for power vs. power. Ok never mind as it’s time for Owen vs. Bulldog. They’re getting in and out of there rather fast. Stan Lane continues to be underrated at the announce table. Owen gets caught in the semi-delayed vertical for two.

We hit the chinlock again even though I thought we had hit the quota of chinlocks in the first match. Spinwheel kick puts Bulldog down for two and it’s back to Anvil who puts on a chinlock of his own. The fans are chanting for Owen actually. Owen comes in again and drills Bulldog with some European uppercuts in a nice bit of irony. Shawn Killer Kick makes Smith flip forward and the double teaming commences.

Neidhart back in there now as the heels are working well together here. Bret chases Owen but the referee stops him. This stopping though allows the New Foundation (Owen and Neidhart of course) to hit a Hart Attack on Bulldog for two. Neckbreaker by Owen gets two and we hit the chinlock one more time. This is very much a stop and go kind of match as they’ll get going and then stop for a chinlock etc.

Bulldog fights up and they hit head to head. There’s a tag to Hart but Neidhart had the referee distracted. Heel miscommunication puts Anvil down and there’s the tag to the champion. He beats up both guys while Bulldog just watches on. What a nice partner he is. Russian Leg Sweep gets two on Owen and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. He actually gets the Sharpshooter but Neidhart makes the save. Off to the Bulldog again and everything breaks down. Bulldog gets a small package, Neidhart turns it over, Bret turns it over again and Bulldog pins Owen to end it.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a lot of the rest holds and give it a bit better ending then this would be a much better match. Still though not a bad match at all and I thought it was pretty good. With these four it’s hard not to have a good match. Neidhart was the worst of these four but he’s certainly watchable in the ring. Decent match but could have been much better.

Owen would get away from Bret and the Harts soon after this and enter Wrestlemania XI with a Tag Team Title shot. His partner was announced at the show.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/??? vs. Smoking Gunns

Owen introduces Yokozuna as his mystery partner. The Gunns are defending here and say they’ll win. Owen and Billy start things off with Hart trying to speed things up. That goes badly for him as Billy slaps him in the face and brings in Bart to work on the arm. Owen fights back though and brings in Yoko who misses an elbow drop. Back to Owen as we’re firmly in the Colossal Connection formula (Owen does the wrestling, Yoko comes in for a few seconds to destroy whoever he’s fighting).

The Gunns hit a double legsweep on Hart and a double flapjack gets two. Owen finally escapes a backdrop attempt and brings in Yoko. Billy gets taken down and sat on, giving the foreigners control. Off to a nerve hold which hopefully doesn’t last as long as the ones last year did. After we kill a minute or so in the hold, Owen loads up a missile dropkick but hits his partner by mistake. There’s the hot tag to Bart and house is cleaned, but Billy walks into a belly to belly suplex. The Banzai Drop hits but Bart breaks up the pin. Not that it really matters though as Owen covers Billy for the pin and the title, Owen’s first in the company.

Rating: C-. Another decent but lackluster match here which is the theme of this show. The Gunns losing was definitely the right call as Owen and Yoko made for dominant champions for several months. Other than that though, the match was boring stuff overall. Owen finally getting a title was a good moment though.

Later in the year Owen would kick Shawn Michaels in the head and put him on the shelf. Shawn’s friend Diesel came for revenge at In Your House V.

Diesel vs. Owen Hart

This is a revenge match for Diesel as Owen kicked Shawn Michaels in the head and put him on the shelf as a result. Diesel launches Owen into the corner to start and hits a big side slam for no cover. The arena is full of smoke from Diesel’s entrance. Owen comes back with some right hands but Diesel easily throws him to the outside for a meeting with Cornette.

Back in and Owen scores with a missile dropkick before going after Diesel’s knee to take him down. A spinwheel kick gets two on Diesel but he easily kicks Hart away to break up a spinning toe hold. Diesel comes back with a big boot and the Jackknife (“This is for you Shawn!”) but he takes his foot off Owen’s chest at two. The referee begs him to let it end so Diesel shoves him down for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was going along pretty well until the stupid ending. I understand that they’re trying to push Diesel as being more aggressive, but having him lose isn’t the way to go about doing that. This is Diesel’s third straight PPV loss which doesn’t make me think he’s a monster but rather a guy who can’t finish his opponents.

Owen would find a new partner and get another Tag Team Title shot at In Your House X.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/British Bulldog vs. Smoking Gunns

The Gunns are defending and the challengers have no Cornette with them due to the beating he received earlier. We see Cornette in the back with attorney Clarence Mason having him sign something. Also I have no idea why Owen left ringside after the previous segment when his match was next. Billy walks behind Bart with his arm around Sunny which probably isn’t a good sign. Sunny had a tradition of having a huge poster of her fall down from the ceiling but this time the challengers have painted a beard on it. Nice touch.

Clarence Mason comes to ringside, apparently replacing Cornette for tonight. Owen hits a few cross bodies for two each on Billy before it’s off to a headlock. A small package gets two more for Owen as JR is still playing the heel on commentary, ensuring Vince that the REAL Diesel and Razor are back. Remember that line because it becomes important in a few months.

Off to Bart vs. Davey with the Bulldog hitting a few dropkicks to take over before cranking his arm for a bit. Owen comes back in for a chop block as the target shifts to Bart’s knee. Owen and Bulldog take turns working on the leg with Owen putting on a modified Indian deathlock. A Boston crab doesn’t last long as Bart quickly makes the rope but Bulldog comes in for a vertical suplex to put him down again. Bulldog even throws in a front flip to show off his athleticism a bit.

Back to Owen for more leg work but his spinning toe hold is countered into a small package for two. Owen comes right back with an enziguri for two of his own but Billy finally interferes, pulling Bulldog out to the floor and sending him into the steps. Back in and Bart is able to make the tag off to Billy. The champions take over but Billy almost immediately tags back to Bart.

The Sidewinder connects but Mason distract the referee, allowing Owen to come in off the top with a shot to the back of Bart’s head. Bulldog can only get two though and it’s back to Billy who again only hits a few stomps before tagging out to the weakened Bart. Bart loads up a powerslam on the Bulldog but gets rammed into Billy who wasn’t paying attention. Davey hits the real powerslam for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. The title change was the right idea but this was one of the longest eleven minute matches I’ve ever seen. Both teams were heels here so the fans didn’t have anyone to cheer for and the Gunns were boring in the first place. It wasn’t terrible but the match didn’t do anything for me at all.

Hart would join up with his brother again, setting up the Border War. This story saved the company in 1997 and here’s the blowoff from In Your House XVI.

Hart Foundation vs. Goldust/Legion of Doom/Ken Shamrock/Steve Austin

Most of the Americans are booed, but Austin is treated like a bunch of ants at a picnic. The Hart Foundation’s entrance on the other hand is a sight to behold, with each member getting a louder and louder ovation until Owen’s music stops. Bret’s reception is louder than everyone else’s and that’s before his music even comes on. The Harts are a unit, all clad in leather jackets and looking like they’re ready for war.

The match starts with the only possible combination of Austin vs. Bret. They slug it out with Bret taking over and pounding Austin down into the corner to send the crowd even further into a frenzy. Austin comes back with right hands and might as well be pummeling Santa Claus. Bret hits a headbutt and clothesline before raking Steve’s eyes across the top rope. Austin kicks Bret low to slow him down and stomps on him in the corner before slapping on the Million Dollar Dream. Hart climbs the ropes for a rollup for two, which is the same way he beat Austin at Survivor Series.

Bret drags Austin to the corner for a tag off to the raw power of Jim the Anvil Neidhart. Austin takes him down with a Thesz Press and right hands before bringing in Shamrock to easily kick Neidhart down. Pillman comes in to break up an ankle lock attempt so Shamrock takes Neidhart down with ease again. Brian comes in legally now to bite Shamrock’s face and fire off chops in the corner. A backbreaker puts Shamrock down again so Pillman grabs his hand and slaps the mat, claiming a submission victory in a funny bit.

Ken comes back with a nice belly to belly suplex and it’s off to Goldust vs. Owen. Goldust scores with a backdrop but Owen comes right back with an enziguri to take over again. The fans are all over Austin here, even though it’s Hawk in to beat Owen up. A top rope splash gets two but Hawk misses a dropkick, allowing Owen to put on a Sharpshooter. Anvil makes the save, only to have Bulldog come in with the delayed vertical suplex and the powerslam but Goldust makes a save.

Bret comes back in (crowd erupts) to face Animal and gets up a knee in the corner to slow Animal down. Off to Goldust who is immediately tied up in the Tree of Woe and quintuple teamed, drawing in the rest of the Americans for the save. Owen comes in legally but misses a charge into the post, allowing for the tag off to Animal. Owen is fine with that and hits an enziguri followed by a missile dropkick to fire up the crowd even more. Animal will have none of that and counters a hurricanrana into a powerbomb.

The Doomsday Device hits Owen but Anvil makes the save, drawing in all ten guys for a huge brawl. In the melee, Austin wraps Owen’s knee around the post and hits it with a chair before beating up Bret and Owen’s brother Bruce, who is sitting with the rest of the Hart Family in the crowd. Things calm down with Anvil vs. Austin as medics come out to check on Owen. Neidhart sends Austin into the corner for a big beating and Owen is being taken to the back.

Pillman comes in but gets dragged over to the American corner and taken down by a Stunner. Bret makes the save by wrapping Austin’s leg around the post and blasting it with a fire extinguisher. He throws on the Figure Four around the post until Hawk makes the save but the damage has been done to the leg. Austin is able to tag in Hawk but Bulldog crotches Hawk on the top rope to take him down again. Austin limps to the back again, leaving us with just four guys per team in the match.

Neidhart and Animal have a test of strength with Jim taking over and driving Animal into the Hart corner for a tag off to Bret. The original Hart Foundation (Bret and Neidhart) take over on Animal to give the crowd a nostalgia pop. Shamrock comes in again and grabs Bret’s leg but just stands there, allowing Pillman to sneak in with a clothesline. Shamrock grabs the leg again but Bret gives him a stern lecture from the mat, which actually makes Ken let him up. I wish I could make that up.

Bret sends Shamrock to the floor where Pillman throws him over the French announce table. Back inside and it’s Bulldog slugging Shamrock down in the corner to send the crowd right back into a frenzy. Ken hits him low, allowing Goldust to come in with a bulldog to the Bulldog, but Pillman breaks up the Curtain Call. Goldust goes up but gets crotched, allowing Bulldog to superplex him down.

Austin stumbles back out to the ring and it’s a double tag to bring in Bret vs. Stone Cold. Bret is sent chest first into the buckle and suplexed down for two, only to come back with a DDT. A backbreaker and the middle rope elbow are good for two and it’s off to a sleeper hold. Austin jawbreaks his way to freedom but has to have Animal save him from the Sharpshooter.

Now it’s Austin putting Bret in the Sharpshooter but Owen comes back out for the save. Owen comes in legally but gets clotheslined out to the floor and stomped against the barricade. Austin goes after the other Hart Brothers at ringside but Bret makes the save and sends Austin back inside so Owen can roll him up for the pin, sending the roof into orbit.

Rating: A+. Do I really need to explain this one? Not only is it a great match with everyone working very hard, but it’s a great story and the perfect way to blow off the feud. Austin could have been in there with any four guys, but the match ended perfectly and gave Owen a big rub in the process. Excellent match and the best multi-man tag match of all time.

The fight continues post match with the Harts cleaning house thanks to their brothers coming in to help out. The Americans are finally dispatched as the Harts are announced as the winners. Austin eventually tries to charge back in for one last swing at Bret but literally about 15 members of the Hart Family beat him down until security takes him away in handcuffs. Austin, ever the rebel, flips off the Calgary crowd behind his back as he leaves. A huge celebration with all of the Harts, including parents Helen and Stu, ends the show.

Owen wouldn’t be done with Austin and would start a feud with him for the Intercontinental Title. After pretty much breaking Austin’s neck (and still getting pinned by him), Owen would enter a tournament for the vacant Intercontinental Title. Here are the finals at In Your House XVIII.

Intercontinental Title: Owen Hart vs. Faarooq

This is a tournament final to crown a new champion since Austin has to forfeit the title. Owen has an Owen 3:16 shirt, with “I Just Broke Your Neck” on the back. Before the match, here’s Austin to do commentary. This might not be the best idea given that he and Pillman were best friends. Austin rings the bell as Vince freaks out, so Austin takes his headset.

JR and Jerry can barely get a word in as Austin rants about Owen using the 3:16 shirt for cheap heat. Austin steals Lawler’s headset as Faarooq grabs a headlock. The boring match drags on as Austin has a walkie-talkie to mess with security. He knocks JR’s hat off as Owen spinwheel kicks Faarooq down and goes after the knee. Austin jumps on Spanish commentary and doesn’t like the trash he thinks the commentators are saying about him.

Owen stomps away in the corner and Austin has switched to French. Faarooq kicks Owen shoulder first into the post and gets two off a backbreaker. He misses a middle rope legdrop though and Owen goes after the leg. The Sharpshooter is broken up again and Faarooq gets another near fall off a powerslam. Jim Neidhart comes to ringside but Austin uses the distraction to knock Faarooq out with the title, giving Owen the title.

Rating: D. The match was just a backdrop for Austin’s antics and the ending would make more sense after the explanation. The idea was simple: Austin wanted the Intercontinental Title back, but he only wanted to beat Owen for it to prove he was the better man once and for all. Owen and Faarooq weren’t great out there, but there was only so much they could do in these circumstances.

Then Montreal happened and Owen was suddenly a face. His first feud was with HHH, setting up this very interesting moment on Raw, January 26, 1998.

European Title: Owen Hart vs. HHH

HHH has a horribly messed up leg. And it’s Goldust and Luna disguised as HHH and Chyna, fooling no one. Hunter-dust (not calling him that again) beats up Owen for awhile and then pulls the wig off to reveal his blue hair. Owen gets a spinning cross body off the top out of nowhere to get two. It’s weird seeing someone else doing HHH’s stuff. We hit the chinlock as this has been mostly one sided. Owen gets a cradle for two. We take a break with Goldie working over the knee.

Back with Owen making his comeback with spin kicks and kicks/punches in the corner. Enziguri knocks Dustin’s fake nose off which was kind of funny. Owen goes up and hits the dropkick but Luna drills him with the crutch to break the momentum. Pedigree is countered into the Sharpshooter for the tap.

Rating: C+. Basic match here between two talented guys. The HHH vs. Owen feud would run up to Mania and it still never was fair to Owen in the slightest as he would wind up in the black supremacist stable somehow. That sounds like something off Arrested Development. Anyway, this was fine and not bad all things considered.

Post match we see DX talking about how smart they are and bragging about the whole thing. Owen is mad about this. Was he fooled or something and this is the big shock? Slaughter comes out to talk to Owen. He grabs a mic and says that Goldust was playing the role of HHH which the future Game agrees with. Slaughter says that Goldust did such a great job that Slaughter is awarding Owen the match, a win against HHH, and the European Title! DX is TICKED of course but Owen gets the last laugh.

Owen would lose the feud with HHH for no apparent reason before joining the Nation of Domination to find a new family. He would fight one of their enemies, Ken Shamrock, in a very interesting match at In Your House XXIII.

Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart

There isn’t much of a backstory here other than they’ve both won King of the Ring and Owen challenged Shamrock to a fight. This is a submission match in Stu Hart’s basement, more commonly known as the Dungeon. Shamrock’s entrance is through a door from what looks like the kitchen, giving this a very low rent feel but in a good way. Dan Severn, former UFC Champion and rival of Shamrock (though he doesn’t like Owen either) is referee.

Owen takes him down to start but Shamrock reverses and pounds away with right hands. Shamrock throws him around and slams Owen against the wall, only to be kicked low and then in the face. Owen rams him head first into the wooden wall before suplexing him down. Ken reverses and slams Owen’s head into the wall but Hart grabs a water pipe to pull himself up for a hurricanrana. Owen swings a dumbbell at Ken’s head but gets kicked back into the corner. Ken Irish whips him into the wall and tries the same hurricanrana using the water pipe but Owen powerbombs him down.

In a spot you don’t see that often, Owen lifts him and rams Shamrock’s head through the ceiling to set up the Sharpshooter. Ken rolls through but can’t hook the ankle lock. Instead he fires off a kick which accidentally takes out Severn, allowing Owen to hit Shamrock with a dumbbell to knock him cold. Owen puts on a kind of armbar and slaps Shamrock’s hand on the mat for a submission with Severn waking up in time to see it, giving Hart the win.

Rating: C+. This was different to put it best and in this case it worked. The match was kind of a hybrid between MMA and a stiff wrestling match and it came off pretty well. MMA hadn’t hit the mainstream yet so this wasn’t something most people had seen before. It was very clear that this was pre-taped and edited due to the people being in slightly different places after some camera cuts but that’s not the worst thing in the world.

Owen celebrates and walks up the stairs like he’s probably done a thousand times. That’s cool in a unique way.

Here’s another odd rematch with the same opponent at Summerslam 1998.

Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock

This is in a theater adjacent to MSG. You win by submission or knockout I believe but JR isn’t really clear on it. It’s a cool visual if nothing else. Shamrock rams him into the cage before taking him down to the mat where we start trading submissions. Ken pounds away at the head and suplexes Owen down before choking away. Owen hits a legal low blow to escape but Shamrock clotheslines him down with ease. I think that passes the point of logical no selling.

Shamrock chokes Owen with his shirt before taking him down with an easy throw. Owen finally realizes he can’t go toe to toe with Ken and rams him face first into the cage. Hart pounds away against the cage and lays Shamrock out with an enziguri. A hot shot into the cage sets up a backbreaker but Shamrock backdrops out of a piledriver. Another kick to Ken’s head changes control again but Shamrock wins a quick slugout. He runs up the cage for a back elbow then kicks Owen in the face.

Hart comes right back with a powerslam and a belly to belly sets up the Sharpshooter. In an awesome counter, Shamrock crawls over to the cage and pulls himself up the wall to escape the hold. A tornado DDT off the wall puts Owen down and a spinwheel kick does the same. Owen sends him into the cage and tries a dragon sleeper but Shamrock walks up the cage to backflip out and the ankle lock gets the submission.

Rating: B. This was different than your usual wrestling match but more importantly it was fun. These two beat the tar out of each other and the whole thing worked very well. Notice the main difference here than what you would get today: you never heard the letters UFC here, meaning there’s nothing to compare it to, making this match seem more impressive. Today you would hear UFC and Ultimate Fighting dropped every two seconds and it would just make you want to watch a UFC show.

After all of these feuds, Owen would hook up with Jeff Jarrett and go after the Tag Team Titles with their shot on Raw, January 25, 1999.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock

Boss Man vs. Jarrett to start with Boss Man cleaning house. The baseball slide into the right hand has Jeff in trouble (he and Owen are challenging) but he avoids a charging Boss Man in the corner. Owen comes in and stomps away, drawing a nugget chant. A big clothesline from Shamrock puts Owen down as Debra tries to blow kisses at Shamrock. An enziguri puts Ken down as does a powerslam, which gets two.

There’s the spinwheel kick to Shamrock’s jaw but a top rope dropkick misses. Debra gets on the apron and opens her jacket to reveal her bra, but Shamrock suplexes Owen anyway. Debra takes off her top entirely and there’s the ankle lock to Owen. Everything breaks down and cue the Blue Blazer with a guitar shot to Shamrock, giving Owen and Jeff the titles.

Rating: C-. Most of that is for Debra, which says a lot about this match. Nothing to see here for the most part as Owen and Jarrett weren’t that interesting as champions, but they would hold the belts until after Wrestlemania. Tag team wrestling was getting desperate for a new team to take the division by storm, but it would be another seven months before that happened.

They would defend at Wrestlemania XV against two challengers who were the last men standing in a battle royal. Seriously, that’s how they determined the challengers at the biggest show of the year.

Tag Titles: D’Lo Brown/Test vs. Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett

The challengers fight with each other before the match starts. Owen and Jeff have Debra with them who is in a jacket and bikini. From the neck down she’s not bad at all. It’s a brawl to start and Test hits a fast big boot to take over. Brown and Jarrett get things going officially and D’Lo hits some fast clotheslines. Jeff charges into an elbow and it’s off to Test. He’s part of the Corporate Team while Brown has no connection to them whatsoever. A powerbomb gets two on Owen but he comes back with an enziguri, only to have Brown break up the Sharpshooter attempt.

Brown comes in legally and hits the shaky head legdrop for no cover but Jeff knees Brown in the back to give Owen an opening. A spinwheel kick puts D’Lo down for no cover as it’s back to Jarrett. Brown comes back with a double clothesline to both champions and hits something resembling a Sky High on Jeff. There’s no cover though as the managers (Ivory for the challengers) are fighting. In the distraction, Owen hits a missile dropkick on Brown to give Jeff the retaining pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok enough but when the challengers are formed into a team 30 minutes before the match, it’s a little difficult to get behind a match like this. The tag division was BEGGING for something to save them here but it wouldn’t be until the fall when the Dudleys finally showed up and made the division worth something for a few more years.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Owen’s final matches, from the Smackdown pilot on April 29, 1999.

Val Venis vs. Blue Blazer

Ok so Jeff was subbing for Blazer who is now subbing for Jeff. Russo was still on the payroll at this point if that clears anything up. Blazer is in the cape mind you. It’s amazing to think that he had less than a month to live at this point. Cornette wonders why if Owen is the Blue Blazer, why doesn’t Jarrett call himself the Tweed Sportscoat? Debra gets on the apron for a distraction and it lets Jarrett interfere for the pin.

Bass comes out to hit on Val and they both run. Then Godfather comes out to claim Debra who he “won” in a match on Heat. She has to be a Ho for an undetermined amount of time. This was a way too complex four way feud that never went anywhere for obvious reasons. Owen and Jeff beat him down and leave with Debra.

Rating: N/A. Way too short to be anything of note here. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was yet another layer onto this incredibly difficult to comprehend story already.

I’ll spare you the details of Owen’s horrible death less than a month later. Owen Hart was a very talented guy who probably would have gotten a World Title run in the double title era. While I don’t think he was as great as some people say he was, Owen was definitely talented and that’s more than a lot of wrestlers can say.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 6: William Regal

Today’s wrestler is a man. Such a man. It’s William Regal.

Regal of course got his start in England back in 1983. Those matches are REALLY hard to find so we’ll pick things up with a one off match in 1986.

Roy Regal vs. Marty Jones

There are six five minute rounds here and it’s 2/3 falls. For some reason Regal starts up one fall and WHAT IS THAT ON HIS HEAD??? I kid you not, William Regal HAS A FREAKING MULLET! He’s 18 years old here which is almost as bizarre as that hair. Marty takes over on the arm to start before working on a headlock.

They head to the mat with Marty cranking on the head before trading arm control. Regal hooks a modified cross armbreaker but gets wrist dragged down for two. The first round ends and we get a nice handshake. Jones hits a quick right hand to the ribs and a gutbuster to start round two. A pair of very nice backbreakers have Regal in trouble and a dropkick puts him down for ten. That’s the end of the match as Regal seems to be injured.

Rating: C-. These matches are such a different style that it’s really hard to grade. The injury didn’t help all that much either. I’ve heard of Jones before, though it’s bizarre to see someone like Regal as a total rookie with A FREAKING MULLET like that. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere and the round structure takes some getting used to.

Regal would head to the States and WCW in the early 1990s. He would wind up taking over the TV Title soon upon arrival and fight for the TV Title at Fall Brawl 1993.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ricky Steamboat

Yes it’s that Regal. I still can’t get over the idea that his butler is Bill Dundee. We have the double ring setup as tonight it’s WarGames of course. They’ll be alternating back and forth. The first match is in ring one. Dragon has the scales and such here which is odd looking but he’s Ricky Steamboat so who can argue?

Buffer introduces Regal as being very dapper. There’s something funny about that name. Oh and I almost forgot: this is the first WCW show when they’re officially out of the NWA and are completely free. Steamboat has bad ribs from a beating last night by Regal on Saturday Night.

Speaking of Saturday Night, this is a very interesting show because the results for all the big matches had been spoiled. This is one of the major reasons why the NWA was mad and ultimately eliminated. WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance, giving away storylines to anyone at the tapings. For instance, later on there’s a title change and a new manager debuts. Both were known almost a month prior to them occurring.

Now think about why this is a problem. First and foremost, people know about the storylines months in advance. Second though, think about how the wrestlers are being treated. Look at Miz today as WWE Champion. Apparently his reign was supposed to be shorter but he has impressed management so much that they’re giving him a longer reign. Now look at this version of WCW. With the title changes set in stone for months down the road, why would you work hard, knowing that no matter what you do, the title changes have already happened? What’s the incentive to work harder? See the problems here?

Anyway, on to the match. Apparently Regal hurt Steamboat with an umbrella. Regal tries to go after the ribs so Ricky has to fight defensively for the majority of the opening. Off to the ramp for a bit as they try to defend Steamboat throwing him over the top to the ramp rather than to the floor. Also, shouldn’t throwing someone over the top to the ring also be a DQ?

Regal uses simple psychology here by going after the injured ribs like anyone with a brain would do. That’s the basic definition of ring psychology: why would a person do just what they did? If you were in a real fight and you knew the other guy had an injury, you would go after it right? It makes sense to, which means it’s good psychology here. Steamboat chops away in the corner and we get some reversals on Irish whips resulting in Regal’s arm hitting the buckle.

Steamboat works on the arm, again using psychology. Old guys know basic thoughts. Regal gets what appeared to be a thumb to the eye and we get an unheard of STEAMBOAT SUCKS chant. What the heck??? Steamboat plays possum and gets a leg drag but uses his leg to take Steamboat over. It’s hard to describe but imagine an arm drag by Steamboat but Steamboat uses his leg to get it over.

Back to the arm and shoulder and then up for the cross body. Steamboat’s ribs are hurt by the move though and he can’t cover. You can tell the camera side is empty as they never get close to showing it. It’s a WCW trademark and you can tell why they do it because at I think Beach Blast 93 we saw the other side and it was completely empty. Regal does the same short arm scissors lift that Bulldog famously did to Shawn but he can’t break the hold.

I was right about the crowd as they caught a quick shot of part of it. It must be Halloween because everyone is wearing an empty seat costume. Off to a chinlock by Regal. This has been 98% mat wrestling so far. It’s not incredibly interesting but it’s very technically sound of course. Off to a body vice by Regal which is a perfect move for him to use here. When did Regal start using power moves though?

Modified surfboard by Regal where he leans back with it but leaves Steamboat on the mat for a bit and just pulls on the arms. He pulls back a bit and has Steamboat more or less on his knees to give you a visual. Regal gets a nice butterfly suplex for two as we alter the style a bit. Steamboat counters into a slingshot and gets a one count while he’s setting up for it. I guess that’s a cover of some sort?

Steamboat can’t slam him and Regal falls on him for two. Ventura says Ricky should get himself disqualified. Regal tries a Tombstone but gets reversed into one of the softest Tombstones I’ve ever seen. You can hear the crowd just die on it’s impact. Steamboat counters a belly to back into an O’Connor Roll for two. Steamboat goes up and hits the cross body but hurts his ribs again. PSYCHOLOGY BABY! Ricky skins the cat but Sir William (manager) DRILLS him in the head with the umbrella so a German suplex gives Regal the TV Title.

Rating: B-. This was incredibly technical which makes things rather boring. That being said it’s still very good as both guys worked incredibly well of course. The fans hated it though which is a problem as an opener is supposed to make a crowd get into a show. Good stuff though, but 17 minutes was probably too long here.

Regal would hold the title for a LONG time until Larry Zbyszko of all people took the title in 1994. Here’s the rematch from Clash of the Champions XXVII.

TV Title: Larry Zbyszko vs. Lord Steven Regal

There’s a nice story here as Regal spent weeks bragging about how great he was until Zbyszko came out of retirement to show he could hang with the Englishman. Larry won the title from Regal about a month ago and Regal wants the belt back. Why he’s coming to the ring in a powdered wig and coat circa 1776 is anyone’s guess.

After disrobing and de-wigging, Regal hides in the corner like a true cowardly heel. Larry finally charges in but gets knocked down to give the challenger control. Some uppercuts and slaps to the face make Larry mad as Tony actually brings up the Western States Heritage Championship which Larry held for a few months back in the late 80s.

Zbyszko throws Regal over the top and out to the ramp. Back inside Larry counters a butterfly suplex into a backdrop for two and a piledriver gets the same. Regal kicks out of a swinging neckbreaker so Larry pummels him up against the ropes. Slugging it out is fine with Regal as he drops Larry with an uppercut and puts on a chinlock.

Regal only gets two off a cover as Larry counters with a bodyscissors of all things. The hold is broken and Regal hits a double knee to the face followed by a headbutt to send Larry into the corner. Zbyszko comes back with a bearhug into a Boston crab but Regal kicks him forward into a rollup and grabs the rope for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. This was a very different style than you would see most of the time in wrestling at this point. Larry was able to hang with Regal in that kind of wrestling and the match was an interesting technical display with some very nice counters. Regal continues his trend of wrestling for the majority of the match before cheating to win.

Since I’m sure you’re getting sick of hearing about the TV Title over and over again, here’s a tag team match from Clash of the Champions XXXII with Regal’s partner Sir Robert Eaton of the Blue Bloods.

Tag Team Titles: Sting/Lex Luger vs. Blue Bloods

The challengers are Lord Steven Regal and Earl Robert Eaton, which is Bobby Eaton now as a nobleman. Sting and Regal start things off and we get our first contact after a minute of posing. Regal cranks on the arm to start but gets dropkicked into the corner. Sting says bring it on before it’s off to Eaton vs. Luger. Lex is sent to the floor but Eaton walks into a backdrop on the concrete. Back inside and Luger poses, sending Eaton to the corner for a tag.

Luger slaps Regal in the face and says bring it on. Regal is tentative but sends Luger into the corner for some European uppercuts before tagging Eaton in again. A jawbreaker puts Luger down but it staggers Eaton enough that he has to tag Regal only a few seconds later. The Blue Bloods start double teaming Lex and Eaton nails his top rope knee drop.

Regal puts on his self named Stretch but Sting makes a quick save. Eaton goes up top but gets caught in a weak powerslam from Luger and they collide with each other. The hot tag brings in Sting, who knocks Eaton off the top and into Regal, setting up the Deathlock for the submission from the Earl.

Rating: C+. Just a nice little title defense here against an acceptable pair of challengers. Sting and Luger clearly weren’t going to lose the belts the night after winning them, but it was a nice performance by Eaton and Regal. It’s a good idea to have hands like the Blue Bloods around to put on a solid match and they helped do that here.

That’s enough time out of the comfort zone. Regal lost the TV Title to the worthless Prince Iaukea in 1997, so here’s his chance to get it back from new champion Ultimo Dragon at Slamboree of that year.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Ultimo Dragon

Regal is challenging. Dragon goes to a wristlock and manages to stop Regal’s usual counter to it and hooks an armbar. Test of strength goes on with Regal taking him down but Dragon pops right back up. They go to the corner and Dragon does his stand on his head in the corner deal. Why does no one ever hit him while he does that? I get the real life reason that he might die, but in kayfabe why not hit him?

Back on the mat Dragon fires off some kicks and hooks a half crab. Regal makes the rope and fires off some kicks of his own to send the champion to the floor. Back in a suplex gets two for Regal. They trade full nelsons and Dragon gets a sunset flip for two. Regal Stretch is avoided and Dragon is all fired up now for some reason. They get into a chain wrestling match and Regal is in his element. Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon grabs his own mask to block it.

Since the Stretch won’t go on it’s time for the bow and arrow/surfboard (Dusty and Tenay call it either or) but Dragon escapes and fires a kick to the back. Here’s the bridging Indian Deathlock and the fans chant for Regal. Dragon switches to a camel clutch and it turns into a brawl. Dragon dropkicks him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Those get him yelled at by the champ so Dragon sends Regal back in and hits a top rope rana for two.

Regal tries the Stretch again but Dragon makes the ropes. The fans are firmly behind Regal now which is strange as this is heel vs. heel and Dragon has been the good guy by default. Both guys try rollups for two but Dragon takes over with a spinwheel kick. Tiger suplex is countered but Dragon sends Regal to the floor. Asai Moonsault hits and Sonny adds in some more kicks. Dragon stops him so Sonny kicks Dragon, allowing Regal to take over. In the ring a reverse suplex sets up the Regal Stretch and we have a new champion.

Rating: B. This was getting really good at the end and was still good when Sonny got involved. Was there ever a more useless manager now named Paul Jones? Really good opener here as they were beating the tar out of each other. Dragon would get the title back in a little over two months.

Regal would get fired over a match with Goldberg on Nitro, sending him over to the WWF for awhile. Here’s his first mtch on June 29, 1998’s Raw.

Darren Drozdov vs. Steven Regal

Sable introduces Regal, who sadly enough is just Steven Regal, British guy. I hadn’t realized it yet but Lawler is now on commentary both hours. Sable sits in on commentary. Droz hammers away on Regal who does his usual shouting. We’re on a split screen of the match and Sable, so at least there’s something to look at. JR keeps asking Sable about her relationship with Vince and all that and she can’t comment. Regal hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Droz. Droz makes a comeback and goes up. Regal suplexes him off the top and the Regal Stretch ends this boring match.

Rating: D-. I can see why Regal was sent down to Dory Funk’s training center for some more work. He hurt his ankle there though and later broke his leg so he didn’t have another match on WWF TV until around Halloween. That’s good too because this was really pretty boring stuff.

Regal’s injury plus not being a WWF guy for the most part would put him back in WCW in summer of 1999. That went NOWHERE as he was basically a jobber to the stars for his entire time there. Instead, we’ll jump ahead to March 2000 where Regal performed on the 3rd Annual Brian Pillman Memorial Show.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

That would of course be William Regal and this is the only reason to watch this show. Benoit has only been in the WWF about four months at this point so he’s still a big deal. Feeling out process to start with Benoit taking him into the corner and firing off right hands. Chris cranks on the arm a bit and Regal can’t roll free. Instead he grabs a wristlock of his own and cranks on the Canadian’s arm as we’re still in the technical portion of the match.

They go to a test of strength grip with Benoit on the mat and Regal drops a hard knee to the chest. They keep the grip and Benoit nips up before headbutting Regal away. A hard dropkick and an enziguri send Regal to the floor but he avoids a baseball slide and kicks Benoit in the face. They head to the apron with Chris DDTing him down onto the edge of the ring.

Back in and Benoit suplexes him down for two but Regal trips him up and cranks on a chinlock while laying on Benoit’s back. Think an STF minus the leg lock. Benoit makes it over to the ropes for the break so Regal dropkicks him down for no cover. Regal hooks a seated surfboard stretch but reaches up to hook a dragon sleeper at the same time. I haven’t used this in awhile but FREAKING OW MAN!

Benoit elbows out of it and chops the tar out of Regal but Steven kicks him in the chest to put him back down. Back up and Benoit tries to roll some Germans but Regal elbows his way out. Regal tries a butterfly suplex but Benoit is all like “YOU DARE FIGHT MY SUPLEXES???” and hits another German. Benoit can’t follow up though and Regal takes him to the top for a butterfly superplex for two.

Regal is sent into the corner but they ram heads, giving Benoit two. Regal may be busted open. A pair of rollups only get two on Benoit so Regal fires off even more forearms. Benoit counters a tombstone into one of his own but the Swan Dive misses. Back up again and a dragon suplex gets two for Benoit but the Crossface ends Regal a second later.

Rating: A-. This match got Regal a job in the WWF and it’s not hard to see why. This was a very physical match with both guys looking great out there. Until this point, Regal has mainly been known as the blue blood who could have good matches at times but would usually be there as a jobber. REALLY good match here and worth seeing if you’ve never seen it. I believe it’s on Benoit’s DVD.

Regal would get the European Title pretty quickly upon arrival and defend it at No Mercy 2000.

European Title: William Regal vs. Naked Mideon

That’s his official name mind you. It’s not some random nickname I gave him. Basically he wrestles in a thong and a fanny pack. He comes out in regular clothes but tries to rip them off during the match. Apparently he’s trying to get naked, making him the Kelly Kelly from the old ECW days of this generation. Mideon keeps wanting to take his clothes off but just doesn’t for some reason.

Lawler says he’s a great chain wrestler. He can beat any chain you put him up against. Eh half a point for a decent line. Pretty much total dominance by Regal here. Mideon gets his shirt off and continuously pulls his pants up. Wouldn’t that be against his character in theory? Crowd is DEAD here mind you. And there go the pants. Regal sets for the Stretch but thinks twice about it. A neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D-. Totally pointless match where nothing of note happened and the comedy didn’t exist. Mideon was hardly a character that was ever going to really do anywhere and I have no idea what the point of this being on the show was. This was a waste of time but I guess it bridges the gap between the big matches.

Regal would soon enter his biggest feud in WWE to date, as he became Commissioner but was opposed by Chris Jericho. This led to a showdown in the opening match at Wrestlemania X7.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho is defending and this is a result of him not liking Commissioner Regal’s regime. Basically he thinks Regal is boring and therefore relieved himself in Regal’s teapot. Regal responded by having the RTC and the Dudleys beat up Jericho on various nights. Jericho came back by dressing up by Doink for no apparent reason and putting Regal in the Walls of Jericho.

Regal pounds away to start but Jericho forearms him out to the floor. There’s a big dive by the champion to take Regal down before he drops Sweet Willy B on the barricade. Back inside and a jumping back elbow off the top puts Regal down again before they head to the mat. Jericho tries for the Walls but Regal escapes and sends the still injured shoulder (from the aforementioned beatdowns) of Jericho into the post. A quick suplex gets two for Regal and it’s back to the arm.

Jericho comes back with an elbow but Regal takes him down with a rollup for two more. Another suplex puts Jericho down again but Regal can’t keep him down. The fans start cheering for Jericho as Regal takes off a turnbuckle pad. The referee is ok with this for some reason as Jericho’s shoulder goes into the steel. Jericho comes back with a pair of enziguris before a middle rope missile dropkick gets two.

Jericho misses a charge in the corner and nearly hits the post head first. In a surprising move, Regal goes up top for a butterfly superplex which gets a delayed two. Jericho trips the legs and tries the Walls again but the shoulder gives out, allowing Regal to hook the Regal Stretch (STF with a half nelson) but Jericho makes the rope. Jericho fights back again but gets kicked in the shoulder, only to send Regal into the exposed buckle and hit the Lionsault to retain. That was a really sudden ending and JR sounded surprised so maybe it was called on the fly.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what an opener was supposed to be: fast paced, hard hitting and it told a good story. They beat on each other for seven minutes straight with nothing of note looking bad. The idea of the shoulder injury was a perfectly fine story to keep the match going and the Regal Stretch worked for a climax. This was a really good opener and it hit every point it was supposed to hit.

Regal would join the Alliance during the Invasion and face Tajiri at Survivor Series 2001.

William Regal vs. Tajiri

Regal hurt Tajiri’s girlfriend Torrie on Smackdown to set this up. Also these two used to be friends. Tajiri is Cruiserweight Champion and was supposed to face X-Pac in a title for title match, but according to Commissioner Mick Foley, “No one cared about X-Pac or the Light Heavyweight Title anyway”. Tajiri fires off a kick but gets suplexed right back down.

The knee trembler takes Tajiri down but Tajiri goes after Regal’s knee with the kicks. There’s the Tarantula and Regal is bleeding from the nose. A handspring elbow gets two for Tajiri but Regal ties his head up in the ropes to stop the momentum dead. Regal tries a powerbomb but gets countered by another kick to the head. The Buzzsaw Kick misses and there’s the Tiger Bomb from Regal for the pin. Too short to rate but it was fine. Short, but fine.

After the Alliance was vanquished, Regal would start a feud with Edge and challenge him for the Intercontinental Title at Royal Rumble 2002.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. William Regal

Edge is defending. The referee checks Regal over and over again for knuckles and finds them in his trunks. Well you can’t say he didn’t do his job. The referee stupidly puts them on the ring post instead of like, giving them to someone to take to the back or something. Edge pounds away to start and chokes with his boot in the corner. He goes after Regal’s bad nose as Lawler claims conspiracy.

Regal comes back with a clothesline but Edge kicks him in the back to put both guys down. Being the British dude that he is, Regal suplexes Edge down for two. Make that four. Uh six. Yet somehow that isn’t three. Off to an arm trap chinlock followed by a hard forearm to put the champion down again. A double arm powerbomb hits Edge for two and they head to the apron. Edge busts out a DDT onto said apron, further injuring Regal’s nose.

Back in and they ram heads to put both guys down as the match continues to drag at a slow pace. Edge wins a slugout and takes Regal down with a spinwheel kick and a suplex for two. Regal suplexes him down as well, only for Edge to hit a big old clothesline for two more. The Regal Stretch goes on out of nowhere but Edge reverses into a terrible version of his own to no avail. A top rope spinwheel kick puts Regal down but he finds another set of brass knuckles. Instead of swinging them though, he pulls the referee in the way of Edge’s spear. Regal clocks Edge and wins the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t click at all. Regal didn’t seem interested in selling at all and Edge wasn’t ready to carry a match by himself yet. He was getting to the point where he could but it would take a summer of feuding with Eddie to get him up to that point. Regal wouldn’t really do anything with the belt other than lose it to RVD. Nothing to see here.

Regal would join up with Test and Lance Storm as part of the Un-Americans in a mostly bad angle. Regal and Storm would become a regular team, including this match from Raw on October 21, 2002.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

They would receive a shot at the belts on Raw, January 6, 2003.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Goldust/Booker T

Goldie and Booker are defending. Booker and Storm start things off with the champion slamming him down and dropping a knee for no cover. Off to Goldie for a forearm off the top but Storm hits him in the face to bring in Regal. Goldust shoulders him down as Bischoff is watching in the back. Back to Booker for more punches in the corner until Storm makes the save.

We hit a chinlock as the match is already going nowhere. A running knee to the side of Booker’s head allows Storm to come in for a cravate. Booker finally fights out and kicks Lance down, allowing for the not hot tag to Goldust. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Storm. Everything breaks down and Goldust takes both guys down. Storm gets caught in a modified Hart Attack but Regal takes the referee out.

The champs and referee are both out on the floor and we take a break. Back with Storm kicking a charging Booker in the face. During the break Chief Morely took over as guest referee. Storm accidentally superkicks said guest referee but there’s no one to count. The third referee runs in to count two on Storm after a Booker spinebuster. Off to Goldust for his hard slaps in the corner but the challengers bail to the floor.

Goldie charges after Storm and runs into a clothesline from Regal. This match continues to be dull stuff. Regal pounds away on Goldust a bit more until it’s off to Storm for another chinlock. This one doesn’t last long and it’s off to Booker for hopefully the last hot tag of the night. Mr. T. cleans house and there’s a Spinarooni followed by an ax kick for two on Storm. Morely pulls the third referee out of the ring and a brass knuckles shot from Regal knocks out Booker for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. It was long, but MAN was this boring. At the end of the day it was pretty clear that the titles were going to change here due to the odds and Bischoff needing to dominate the entire show, which makes it even worse. As usual, a team loses in a joke last week and wins the titles the next week. Also, how overbooked was this match? Nothing to see here.

Regal would miss over a year and a half due to a heart condition so we’ll skip ahead to February 7, 2005 with Raw in Japan. Given who is in the match, you can figure it out for yourself.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen. Conway and Grenier are defending here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

Since this is getting WAY too long already, we’re going to skip over the rest of 2005 and pick things up in 2006 when Regal is a replacement opponent for the US Title at Great American Bash.

US Title: Finlay vs. William Regal

JBL goes on a hilarious rant before the match. “LIVER ENZYMES??? AS MUCH AS I’VE DRANK I’M LUCKY TO HAVE A LIVER!!! MY LIVER LOOKS LIKE JAKE ROBERTS’ AND MY LIVER ENZYMES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGH!” I’m having issues having Cole as a neutral commentator. Regal is worried about Horny (not yet named) interfering. Regal goes a-leprechaun hunting and before the match starts.

Regal says he’ll just leave but Finlay tries to roll him up anyway. They lock up and go all the way to the floor without breaking it. They walk around and back up the steps and into the ring without breaking that lockup. Regal grabs a single leg and works the leg but that gets him nowhere. Regal throws him to the floor and here’s Horny! He pops Regal in the leg and JBL freaks out. “I want one for Christmas!”

Regal loses track of him and stands on the steps instead of, you know, GETTING IN THE RING. Horny sneaks up on him and Regal nearly jumps out of his skin. Back in Finlay gets a clothesline for two and it’s off to a nerve hold. This heel vs. heel thing is only kind of working so they’re going for comedy. JBL gives us a European soccer lesson as Finlay takes over. Regal gets in some kicks and a butterfly suplex for two.

Horny is back! He bites the fingers of Regal and Regal has to rake the eyes of the tiny leprechaun to escape. Back in and Finlay takes over, working on the hand. Regal gets in a shot to the leg to break the momentum. This is a highly technical match to go with the comedy which is an interesting mix. Regal hooks a chinlock but Finlay fights out with some shots to the ribs.

Back to the floor and you can hear them hitting each other incredibly hard. This was the same thing they did back at Uncensored 96, although this is a more entertaining match. Now Finlay hooks the chinlock. Regal throws him into the corner and they ram heads. In a great old school heel move, Regal drops to a knee, putting his leg on Finlay’s throat, while he talks to the referee. Exploder suplex puts Finlay down and there’s a knee drop for two.

The fans call this boring. I call them uncultured slobs. This is a European style match and it’s entertaining to see a different perspective. Regal runs off the apron and gets crotched on the apron skirt. Finlay hammers him back into the ring and takes Regal’s shoe off. It’s possible Horny stole it. Finlay misses a charge and hits the post. The fans are loudly booing now. Regal gets the Irish club that I can’t spell. Horny slips Finlay Regal’s boot though and a shot with that is enough for the pin to keep the title on Finlay.

Rating: C-. I’m going to be in the fairly extreme minority here but I enjoyed this. The technical aspect of it is really good but the comedy stuff is going to be very hit or miss. To be fair though, this was a hard one to work out as the styles really clashed. I was entertained by it though and that’s the point of this.

Regal would hook up with his old partner Dave Taylor as a heel team on Smackdown, with the two eventually getting a Tag Team Title shot at Armageddon 2006.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

Londrick are champions here. Before the match gets started here’s Teddy. He makes this a ladder match so here are some ladders. Regal FREAKS but Teddy isn’t done. He adds two more teams to make it a fatal fourway title match.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Daven Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. The Hardys

MNM lost the titles to Londrick and are returning here since Nitro (Morrison) is on Raw. The Hardys are also on Raw but who cares? Jeff is IC Champion and they’re not Boys anymore. The crowd is WAY behind the Hardys. The heels are sent to the floor so it’s Londrick vs. the legends. Matt and London take over but Kendrick and Jeff come back. Spin Cycle takes out London and appropriately enough the Brits come back in.

Matt and I think Nitro pick up ladders and the fight goes to the floor. The Hardys come down the aisle with ladders as Regal and Taylor try to keep them out. Just about everyone is back in now and there’s a pair of ladders. Poetry in Motion hits Regal and Taylor takes a Snapshot. Double superkick puts Regal down again and things slow down a bit.

The champs and the Hardys go at it, including Matt throwing Kendrick into a ladder HARD. Jeff goes up but London makes the save. London goes up but the Hardys save. Nitro tried a springboard move to take him out but the ladder was already down so the spot landing looked sick. Mercury is almost up there but London/Kendrick/Hardys pick up the ladder and shove Mercury over the top onto Nitro.

Poetry in Motion is attempted but London moves and Jeff crashes into the ladder. With everyone down, Kendrick makes a run but Matt saves. Neckbreaker puts Kendrick down and London hits a suplex on Regal outside. Matt gets put on a ladder leaned against the ropes so Kendrick hits a double stomp to the ribs.

Now we get to the famous part of this match. MNM sets up a see-saw thing using a pair of ladders. They put Jeff on the top and set for a double suplex but Matt makes the save. Jeff dives off and the ladder is slammed into Mercury’s face, absolutely destroying his nose. I’ve never seen more blood so fast. His nose was shattered and he would be out for a few weeks and would need 20 stitches.

Due to the injury it’s now a seven man match with the Brits in control. Half nelson release suplex sends London into the ladder. Taylor holds the ladder and Regal goes up but comes down due to fear. Taylor goes up instead but Kendrick comes in for the save. Mercury is already on his way to the hospital. Matt comes back in and hits a Twist of Fate to Taylor. Jeff sets up a ladder on the floor and tries to dive into the ring but Nitro hits a baseball slide to take out the ladder, sending Jeff’s throat into the ropes.

Nitro rides a ladder down onto Regal as a ladder is set up in the ring. Kendrick makes a save and takes Nitro down again. Matt throws Kendrick off the ladder and London has to make the save. Matt backdrops London off but the ladder falls. Jeff vs. Nitro on a ladder now and Jeff gets a big old sunset bomb and the Brits are back. They take everyone down and up they go.

Kendrick gets up there and pounds away on Regal but Taylor pulls him down again. Everyone is down and London starts crawling for the ladders. Matt is up again and goes for the same ladder. There are two ladders next to each other. Matt gets knocked down and London pulls the titles down to retain after a war.

Rating: B+. I wanted to give it an A- but it just didn’t feel right. It’s an excellent match and a great four way ladder match, despite it becoming a three and a half way part of the way through it. Londrick gets a big win here which they need and the fans get all fired up. Definitely the best match of the night (seriously, can you imagine something topping it later?) but it didn’t hit that level of the TLC matches.

Regal again wouldn’t do much for most of 2007 but would become Raw GM late in the year. He would enter the King of the Ring in April 2008 and make it to the finals.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal would be Wellnessed off TV and allegedly out of a World Title reign. He would win the Intercontinental Title from Santino Marella in a squash in November before losing the title to CM Punk in a mostly forgettable feud. Regal would get a chance at the US Title at Extreme Rules 2009.

US Title: Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. William Regal vs. Matt Hardy

Well this is random. Kofi won the title 6 days ago from MVP. He beat Hardy and Regal for the title shot in the first place. This is an extreme gimmick? Sure why not. MVP is a face here…I think. Yeah he is. Regal has been hitting on Vickie to get into this. Matt gets a rather solid pop. He’s heel here which is just odd to type.

Oh and Matt still has a broken hand from Mania. MVP is the same thing that he is today. That’s all you need to know about him: he hasn’t changed a bit in a year. Regal hasn’t either but he’s more or less a jobber now so it’s not like it matters that much. Kofi hits a dive to take out every American in this match.

Then he takes out the British guy as well. It’s your usual insanity for one of these matches as we get rotating one on one matches. That works fine I think as it’s really the only way you can do these without insane choreography before it starts. Regal gets solid heel heat. He’s just so easy to hate.

Everybody but Matt gets in a Tower of Doom spot so Matt dives on them all but of course it doesn’t work. Also his hand seems to be just fine all of a sudden. For some reason I love that leg drop that Matt does from the middle rope. It’s not like there’s anything really special about it or anything.

Kofi hits a Boom Drop on Regal who is on top of Matt in a decent spot. Kofi hits that pendulum kick that seemingly every midcard face hits now. I was wrong about MVP not changing anything in a year. Now he is even worse at his belly to belly overhead suplexes. Ballin hits on Matt as we’re very close to the end. You can feel it.

Regal beats up everyone but Kofi bounces off the top rope and hits a kick to the head which is called Trouble in Paradise for the pin to retain. It looked like a one footed dropkick but whatever.

Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but WAY too short. This wasn’t even seven minutes long and it was just kind of a mess. It’s certainly not a bad match or anything like that, but it just felt thrown together and like it was there to kill time. That’s never a good sign. Kofi’s reign is about as forgettable as you could ask one to be also.

It would be off to the ECW roster soon after this where Regal would become the top heel. After losing to Christian in 8 seconds at Summerslam, Regal would get a longer ECW Title shot at Breaking Point.

ECW Championship: Christian vs. William Regal

This is 5 days after the ECW is Leaving announcement was made so there we are. Naturally Christian gets a huge pop being the Canadian. The monsters are sent to the back. This is more of a technical match which is what Regal is a master of. This is an intense match if nothing else. The fans are as into this as they’ve been into anything all night long. Regal avoids the Killswitch three times and then gets it on the fourth. Well that was abrupt. Somehow this was ten minutes long.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much at all. It could have been a main event on any ECW TV show and it wouldn’t have been anything special at all. This was pretty weak and as mentioned, the announcement that the brand was folding didn’t do much good for the interest level in this match.

Regal would go into semi-retirement after this and only wrestler a few matches a year. We’ll jump ahead to 2013 where Regal is an NXT commentator but Kassius Ohno is tormenting him. They would have a showdown on April 10, 2013.

Kassius Ohno vs. William Regal

They lock up to start with Regal shoving Ohno back. Brad’s stupid joke of the week is to call Dawson Jerry every few moments. Back to the lockup until Regal takes over with an armbar. Ohno is taken to the mat by the arm as Regal cranks away even more. Now it’s a hammerlock and after a drop toehold Ohno still can’t get back up. Regal lets him back up and Ohno grabs a wristlock, only to be easily sent into the corner and stomped down by the old villain.

A forearm puts Ohno down as this has been one sided so far. Ohno finally gets in a shot to the ribs to send Regal to the floor. A baseball slide puts Regal into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kassius getting two off something we didn’t see and firing off some HARD kicks in the corner to Regal’s head. Now it’s a full nelson to stay on the neck and upper body of Regal. William uses a nice counter to escape and stomps on Kassius’ fingers for good measure. He bends them back around the ropes as momentum changes again.

Regal stays on the arm and hand and drives some knees into Ohno’s face. Ohno comes back with a hard kick to the head to take Regal down as the ear is hurt even more. Another kick crushes Regal’s head against the post but Ohno can’t hook his cravate hold. Kassius kicks Regal again for two but he still can’t hook the Kassius Clutch. Off to a quick chinlock instead but Regal rolls out and hits a quick exploder suplex. His balance is WAY off though so he can’t hook the Regal Stretch.

A belly to back suplex puts Regal on his head again for two more and Kassius is getting frustrated. William is getting all fired up and gets to his feet, only to have his head kicked off for two. Ohno loads up the rolling elbow but Regal nails him in the ribs to set up the Knee Trembler for the pin at 14:06 shown of 17:36.

Rating: B+. This was a match based on emotion and the injury to Regal which worked very well. The story of teacher vs. student is one that always works and it did the job again here. The good thing here is that Regal didn’t look dominant at all at the end, which keeps Ohno from looking weak. Really good and physical match here with a solid story throughout.

The same thing happened later in the year, but with Cesaro instead of Ohno. From Christmas Day, 2013.

Antonio Cesaro vs. William Regal

The Fink is doing entrances, which gives me an answer to the question I just asked. The disgusted yet also terrified look on Regal’s face is perfect. Cesaro cranks on the arm to start and Regal can’t counter. Antonio takes him to the mat but Regal nips up to draw a gasp from the crowd. Cesaro stays on the hold and takes Regal down again but there’s another nip up. “You still got it!”

Regal takes Cesaro down to his knees but still can’t get away from the wrist control as we take a break. Back with Cesaro still on the arm and jumping onto a standing Regal’s shoulders (basically putting himself in a fireman’s carry) to apply even more pressure. Regal flips him down into an armbar but Cesaro nips up just like Regal did earlier. William takes him down by the other arm but Cesaro powers up into a test of strength.

Cesaro easily powers Regal down but the Englishman counters into a cross arm choke. He leans backwards to put Cesaro over his knees while still choking, only to be flipped forward to escape. Back to the test of strength before Regal counters a front facelock into a dragon sleeper. Cesaro flips him forward in a kind of reverse suplex for two but Regal gets him down into the corner and does his “distract the referee while kicking the opponent in the face” spot.

Antonio chop blocks Regal down and rams the bad knee into the apron a few times as we take another break. Back with Cesaro holding a leg lock but Regal keeps fighting back with kicks to the head. Cesaro keeps control by cranking on the knee even more and taking off Regal’s knee brace. The knee is bent around Cesaro’s neck in an old Brock Lock but Regal counters into a rollup and backslide for two each. Cesaro hits a series of ten uppercuts to knock Regal silly, setting up the Cesaro Swing.

After some trash talk Antonio loads up the Neutralizer but Regal backdrops his way out. He drops a knee on Cesaro’s arm to take away the Neutralizer. Regal goes after the arm with everything he’s got and hits an overhead suplex for two. The knee is too damaged for the knee trembler though and Cesaro comes back with a headbutt. Regal is fine with that and headbutts Cesaro right back before loading up a double underhook suplex. Cesaro backdrops Regal but can’t break the grip.

Regal takes him to the mat again and tries the Regal Stretch but Cesaro makes the rope. A forearm from the good arm lays Regal out and a double stomp to the back of the head has the referee checking him. Cesaro looks down at Regal before picking up his limp body. He sets up the Neutralizer but thinks twice about it and lets Regal fall back to the mat. Regal tries to pull himself up so Cesaro puts on the Neutralizer. He looks down at Regal’s unconscious body and looks disgusted after pinning Regal at 16:00 shown of 24:00.

Rating: A. I loved this for a lot of reasons. First of all, the technical stuff at the beginning was excellent with two old school craftsmen doing their jobs as well as anyone can. It’s wrestling in its purest form and when you have guys who can work that style it’s as entertaining as you can get. Then there’s the excellent storytelling with Regal trying every trick he knew but not being able to stop Cesaro’s raw power. The ending with Cesaro not wanting to hurt Regal anymore but giving in to his natural instincts of winning at any cost was great stuff. I loved this match and continue to wait for Cesaro to be taken seriously in WWE.

William Regal is the definition of an old time wrestler. He can wrestle any style and make you HATE him with relative ease. No he wasn’t ever the top guy, but he’s forgotten more about wrestling than almost anyone else can ever learn. Regal will be a trainer or commentator for as long as he wants and a lot of fans will be very lucky to see his students on WWE TV.

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Superstars – April 16, 2009 (New Series Debut): They’re Right About The D Part

Superstars
Date: April 16, 2009
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia, Thompson-Boling Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 16,431
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

This is the debut episode of what used to be the flagship show. Of course it wound up being just another show that didn’t even last two years on TV before switching over to the internet but that’s what you get when you’re not Raw or Smackdown. Superstars’ hook was that it had all three rosters competing at the same time, which really isn’t all that thrilling of a concept. The first episode is stacked though with Undertaker making a rare in-ring appearance. Let’s get to it.

Undertaker vs. Matt Hardy

This is when Matt was evil and tried to kill his brother and then got hurt to end his push again. I’m still waiting on Mattitude 2.0. For some reason I believe this was originally announced as Undertaker vs. Shelton Benjamin but they changed it for reasons I don’t remember. Matt gets his head taken off by a right hand to the jaw and the fight heads outside. Undertaker whips him hard into the barricade as this is one sided so far. Back in and Old School connects, sending us to a break.

Back with Undertaker still dominating and getting two after snapping Matt’s neck across the top rope. Hardy escapes the chokeslam and hits a neckbreaker before hammering away. This is right after Wrestlemania XXV so Undertaker’s neck is still messed up after botching the Taker Dive. Undertaker shrugs it off and nails even more right hands to put Matt in the ropes. A chokeslam off the apron is countered with a jawbreaker to give Hardy two.

Off to a front facelock on Undertaker but the big man casually gets to his feet. That’s fine with Matt as he jumps onto Undertaker to crank on the facelock even more. Undertaker shoves him off and scores with a big boot for two. Another big boot and legdrop get two on Matt but Hardy wisely heads outside to avoid another chokeslam attempt. He grabs a chair but just stays on the floor to take the countout. Pretty lame ending.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match but man alive, Matt won’t job to THE UNDERTAKER? I know Matt is a rising star at this point but I don’t think losing to one of the biggest legends on the roster is going to kill his push all that badly. The match was nothing too bad but the ending brings it down a good bit.

Post match Jeff Hardy runs out and throws Matt back inside for a chokeslam.

Clips from Wrestlemania.

Christian vs. Finlay

The winner gets an ECW Title shot at Backlash and this is the final of some competition called the Elimination Chase. Finlay has Horny with him. Christian gets taken down but fights out of the armbar and gets two off his sunset flip out of the corner. Finlay takes him down with a chinlock which goes about as well as the armbar. Back up and Christian hits a top rope cross body, only to have Finlay roll through for two more. A tornado DDT gets two on the Irishman and the Killswitch connects for the pin out of NOWHERE.

Rating: D+. This felt like it went home five minutes earlier than they expected. The ending came out of nowhere and it really felt awkward. Christian winning makes sense but this really did need another few minutes to flesh things out. Also Hornswoggle was shouting from ringside but he couldn’t talk in the future. Makes WWE sense.

They shake hands post match.

Shane McMahon (interviewed by Eve Torres) is ready to get revenge on Legacy for what Randy Orton has done to his family.

Cody Rhodes vs. Shane McMahon

Feeling out process to start until Shane takes over with some quick left hands. Cody fights out of an armbar and bails to the floor as Shane looks like he’s gone fifteen minutes already. Back in and Cody gets his arm cranked on even more, sending him back outside again. This time though Shane goes out the other way and gets a running start off the steps to take Rhodes down with a clothesline.

Shane whips him ribs first into the barricade before we head back inside where Rhodes is just fine. A big right hand knocks Shane back to the floor and we take a break. Back with Cody holding a very weak looking chinlock followed by some knees and elbows to the rubs. We hit the reverse chinlock but Shane stands up and drives Cody into the buckle. A middle rope bulldog gets two on Shane but he fights out of a superplex. Cody dropkicks him out of the air for two as this is going WAY longer than it should. Shane gets sent to the floor but he comes back up with a chair to the ribs for the DQ.

Rating: D-. This was LONG. The match got fourteen minutes and Shane wasn’t exactly the kind of a guy that you want trying to do something like this. It’s not much better when you have Cody Rhodes in there before he’s capable of carrying a match. This McMahons vs. Ortons story just kept going and people stopped caring way before this show. Much like the feud, the match was just more long and uninteresting than bad, which is worse a lot of the time.

Shane hits Coast to Coast to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Well what the heck was this supposed to be? I mean we have Undertaker (UNDERTAKER!) winning via countout, Christian vs. Finlay, as in the one match that could have gone on for awhile, getting less than five minutes, and Shane McMahon getting fifteen? This was a huge mess and a good microcosm of the disaster that WWE was at this point.

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Monday Night Raw – October 4, 2004: “Taboo Tuesday Is Going To Be A Disaster” – HHH

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 4, 2004
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request, likely due to the location. At the moment we’re coming up on Taboo Tuesday where HHH will defend against one of three challengers. Other than that we’ve got Orton vs. Flair coming up as an offshoot of Orton vs. HHH. It’s also the night after No Mercy 2004 which was a Smackdown show and therefore shouldn’t have much effect on this show. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Evolution to open things up. It’s so strange to think that I might be saying that when I review a Raw ten years later. This time we only have HHH and Flair but I’m sure Big Dave will be coming in soon. Flair talks about talking about HHH being the best wrestler alive and only Flair can say that. As for Orton, he may have gotten rid of some big names but never a legend. Orton is barred from the building tonight and I’m sure he will NOT be showing up later.

Flair goes into a rant about how Orton has never gotten rid of any legends, making him a virgin in the area. Does Orton know how many virgins Flair has “made bleed all night long?” Flair: “THAT’S MY SPECIALTY!” This brings Flair to his match with Orton at Taboo Tuesday which can be falls count anywhere, submission or a steel cage. “It doesn’t matter Orton, because you virgin, will be mine all night long.” And WWE insists on keeping this guy around nearly ten years later?

HHH talks about how Taboo Tuesday, and this is a direct quote, “is going to be a complete disaster.” Oh you have no idea Trips. He rants about the fans having WAY too much power (these jokes write themselves) and asks the fans if they like having Evolution’s fate in their hands. HHH quotes Jack Nicholson (“an overrated Hollywood actor”) by saying it doesn’t matter what you think. He might be on to something with overrated. I mean, three Oscars out of twelve nominations yes, but he wasn’t The Chaperone. Don’t even get me started on Blade: Trinity. That’s just not fair to Jack.

After he continues to bury Taboo Tuesday by calling it a joke, here’s Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho to interrupt HHH. Jericho talks about being live in New York City on Monday Night Jericho, but the guys in the ring aren’t happy with Taboo Tuesday. We get a fan poll of fans’ opinions of HHH and the one related to a donkey is the runaway winner. Jericho takes credit for the Taboo Tuesday concept and says he’ll laugh at HHH losing the title.

This and a bit of profanity send Flair into a rage (a trademark by this point) and he demands Jericho come down here right now. Chris goes to the back and comes back with a chair but Batista blindsides him. Benoit and Edge (two of HHH’s challengers at Taboo Tuesday along with Shawn) make the save and in theory setting up a six man tag later. I say in theory because I’ve seen the match listing and that’s not what we get but you can never tell on a show with an old man ranting about deflowering virgins and calling the upcoming pay per view a disaster/joke.

Christian and his bodyguard Tomko are in the back with Captain Charisma ranting about Shawn getting WAY too much credit for his win at Wrestlemania X (which he lost) while Christian’s win at Wrestlemania XX isn’t remembered at all. Bite your tongue dude. That was a great story and it gave us EVIL Trish.

Shawn Michaels vs. Christian

JR is WAY too excited for Shawn’s entrance. He doesn’t freak out that much for Wrestlemania. Shawn takes over with a headlock (and JR goes up another octave. Seriously what’s his deal tonight?) and cranks away for a few moments. Christian takes over with some hair pulling and fires off some CANADIAN right hands in the corner. He misses a charge though and goes a few octaves higher as well. Shawn knocks Tomko off the apron but takes too long stomping the mat (it’s almost like that’s a REALLY BIG GIVEAWAY) and Christian gets to the floor.

Tomko takes the kick instead and we head to a break. Back with Christian holding a chinlock followed by the reverse tornado DDT for two. Lawler calls that a tide turner despite Christian being in control and still being in control after the DDT. Eh to be fair Christian has natural breasts so you can’t expect Lawler to pay much attention. A backbreaker gets two more on Michaels and it’s back to the chinlock for some good old fashioned spot calling.

Another backbreaker gets another two. Shawn fights up but collides with Christian to knock both guys down. This does prove that Shawn has a much harder head as Christian was fine beforehand but is now even with Shawn. Maybe Michaels is part Samoan? They slug it out with Shawn cranking it up and hammering away in the corner.

A backdrop only gets two on Christian, likely because WHO FREAKING GETS PINNED OFF A BACKDROP? Why would Shawn even try that? There needs to be a wrestler that wrestles knowing all those unspoken rules of wrestling. It wouldn’t last long but it would be hilarious. Unprettier gets two on Shawn because he’s a main eventer and Christian is an upper midcarder and upset is a bad word in WWE. Christian goes up but gets backdropped down, setting up the big elbow and Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic match here with nothing wrong. Shawn getting a win before a possible (oh who are we kidding. It’s HHH vs. Shawn on PPV. You don’t think that’s rigged?) title shot at Taboo Tuesday is the right move and Christian doesn’t lose anything by getting pinned by a bigger star.

Benoit vs. Batista and Jericho vs. HHH tonight. See? The match card written nearly ten years ago was accurate.

We go to a sitdown interview with a sad Lita (looking great here) who talks about her whole love rhombus with Matt Hardy and Kane (you have to give Kane two sides since he’s always turning). Now she’s lost her baby and she’ll never get to know what it looks like. Well it was hers and Kane’s so just put a red wig on him and…..and leave a night light on because that’s a rather disturbing image. Apparently Snitsky has said the baby isn’t his fault and Lita isn’t happy with that line. She rants at Todd Grisham over it, probably scaring him off to host some soccer show on ESPN. Lita wants Kane to hurt Snitsky.

Bischoff is seen making a deal with a woman. We can only see a nail polished hand. Mark Henry Jr? Anyway Coach comes in and is worried about Snitsky, so Bischoff says JR can interview Snitsky later.

Apparently later is right now and here’s Snitsky with a baby carriage. Kane immediately comes out (complete with pyro because it’s WWE) but Snitsky had a lead pipe in the carriage and Kane is busted open. Some choking ensues until referees make the save.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

An early Crossface attempt sends Batista out to the floor but he comes back in with some right hands in the corner. Benoit takes it back to the floor and hits a quick chop block to little effect. Back in and a big old spinebuster drops Chris. Some backbreakers (popular move tonight) have Benoit in trouble but he sends a charging Big Dave into the corner. Rolling Germans have Batista in trouble and Benoit’s neck screaming in agony. Chris still can’t get the Crossface so Batista sends him outside for a beating from Flair. Not that it matters as Randy Orton (SHOCK AND AWE SHOCK AND AWE!) runs in to jump Batista and Flair.

Rating: D+. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but Orton had to show up after the attack last week. Batista wasn’t quite polished yet but when he went on a roll next year he wouldn’t stop for a long time. It’s amazing that Benoit was the top guy in the company just six months before this and now he can’t even get a five minute match.

Eric sends security (including future Heartthrob Romeo Roselli) out to get Orton out of here but Batista and Flair come up for cheap shots.

Here’s Bischoff in the ring to announced Kane vs. Snitsky for the PPV where the fans get to pick the weapon. If they had a plastic baby as an option I’d……either watch the show on the Network or go build a time machine so I could go back and buy the show when it aired. It depends on my mood. The fans can also vote for anyone on the roster to face Jericho for the Intercontinental Title. Based on the options you would eventually have, it’s a wonder that the company survived 2004.

Anyway Bischoff brings out Eugene followed by Carmella DeCesare, the runner-up in the Diva Search. Short version: Bischoff is facing Eugene at the PPV and it might be a hair match. Carmella “likes” bald guys and sex is implied if Eugene throws the match. Eugene will for a kiss but Carmella freaks. Despite that bizarre set of morals, Carmella says she’s better than Eugene, drawing out Christy to shove her down and kiss Eugene. Can someone sign me up for mental trauma? It appears to be worth it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

The French guys have the belts coming in. Rob (Conway, partner of Sylvan Grenier) puts a headlock on Hurri (Cane, partner of Rosey) to get things going but it’s quickly off to the fat man. The good guys (who wear masks to hide their identities. I guess they’re really modest about their good deeds?) take over for a bit until Grenier pulls Rosey’s mask to the side. The big man plants the Hurricane by mistake, setting up Au Revoir (neckbreaker/side slam combo) to retain the belts. Nothing match.

Edge says vote for him because he’s never gotten a title shot. Other than in 2002 against Big Show but that doesn’t count I guess. He’s also never faced HHH one on one. Well 1999 wasn’t exactly wrestling so you could stretch and say it didn’t happen (they fought on Raw in 1999 if that wasn’t clear you dingbats).

Bischoff tells the people who will be candidates for the Intercontinental Title match (about 20 people. That’s a VERY thin “roster” no?) that they’re lumberjacks for HHH vs. Jericho later.

Stacy Keibler vs. Molly Holly

Non-title, likely because neither of them are champions. Trish, looking GREAT in a low cut top and jeans with some stomach showing, sits in on commentary. She shows us a clip from last week where Christy Hemme stripped off her clothes. Trish’s assessment, and again I quote, “Sl** sl** sl** sl** sl**. Christy Hemme is a sl**.” I love the Bellas trying to sound all serious when you have the girls from this era ripping into each other with lines like that.

Even JR says Stacy has no chance here, albeit in JR-speak of course. Molly points a finger in Stacy’s face so she bites down on it. Again, these jokes are too easy at times. Keibler chokes in the corner and throws Molly down by her VERY short hair (she was shaved bald at Wrestlemania).

As this is going on, we get WWE Fantasy standings on the bottom of the screen. That’s a fascinating idea actually, but it would wind up being a huge mess. The camera stays on Trish, talking about how Christy “exudes sl**tiness.” Molly gets low bridged to the floor and Trish runs down to distract Stacy for no apparent reason, but Stacy is actually smart enough (I’m stunned too) to counter into a cradle for the pin.

HHH vs. Chris Jericho

Lumberjack match and non-title. We also hear that Jericho was born in Manhasset, New York. This was a big thing around this time and for the life of me I don’t get why. Are we supposed to love Jericho because he brags about being Canadian all the time but is really American born? Jericho attacks HHH before the bell and the belt is still on the Game. You know he wears that to bed. Shelton Benjamin and William Regal throw HHH back inside and we get some WOOING off Jericho chops.

Jericho is sent outside and starts a fight (bully) but still comes back inside with a rollup for two. The Walls don’t work so Chris catapults HHH into the buckle for another two count. Back up and HHH throws Jericho to the floor where Steven Richards and Coach double team him. Seriously, STEVEN RICHARDS AND COACH are 10% of the “roster?” Just start chanting TNA now. Egads what a frightening thought.

Back in and Jericho nails a spinwheel kick to put both guys down. Christian low bridges Jericho to the floor but Rhyno makes a save. After accidentally knocking Rhyno down, Jericho fights out a Pedigree attempt and puts on the Walls but he has to go after Flair. Chris is like screw it and goes thrillseeking by diving on a bunch of guys (including Chuck Palumbo and Maven). A top rope back elbow drops HHH but Rhyno Gores Jericho down, giving HHH the pin.

Rating: D+. The lumberjacks felt wedged in here and the match wasn’t very good on top of all that. They’re pushing Rhyno as the top challenger for the fans to vote for but if they really need to push him over Rodney Mack, Tomko, Rosey and Coach, this company is in trouble. Anyway, nothing match but it was all angle anyway. Nice to see Jericho get pinned in a match that easily could have been a no contest. HHH REALLY needed that didn’t he?

Big brawl, Orton runs in, RKOs all around (meaning two, with one going to Grenier, show’s over.

Overall Rating: D. Gene Snitsky (and sad Lita) was the highlight of this show. Let that sink in for a minute. A man that KICKS BABIES IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR SHOW. The matches sucked, the pay per view sounds like it’s going to suck and Orton has already been treated like a loser so why should I care about him? Somehow, all of those things are great by comparison to that opening promo though.

I can’t get my mind around some of the things that I heard in there. The World Champion is saying the show is a disaster and a joke while Ric Flair, a guy in one of the featured matches (it would main event the show) is ranting about making virgins bleed. I don’t care how great you are.

There comes a point where you shouldn’t be allowed to have a live mic. “Oh that’s just Flair being Flair.” Yeah he says a lot of crazy things, but back in his day he said stuff that was both funny and interesting as opposed to embarrassing himself and his employer. Somehow he still has a job ten years later and the company still goes out of its way to praise the guy, despite him being more of a trainwreck now than he was back then. Why Flair is immune to all this criticism is beyond me, but I’ve been sick of it for years now.

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Wrestler of the Day – May 5: Jack Swagger

Is this on? Check one two. It’s Jack Swagger.

Swagger started under his real name of Jake Hager, a character based on his own real life experiences as a collegiate wrestler at Oklahoma. He won the FCW Title and defended it on their first television show, airing on October 5, 2008.

Florida Heavyweight Championship: Heath Miller vs. Jake Hager

Miller thinks he’s handsome and gives off a kind of Rick Rude/Johnny Nitro feel. He’s more famous as Heath Slater though. Hager is Jack Swagger and is a cross between Angle and Goldberg. He’s undefeated here and the streak is part of his character. Mixed reaction for Hager who is in regular trunks here. Miller is a rock star without the instruments. I’m not sure if that’s better than one man rock band or not.

Miller also has shoulder length hair which is a weird look for him. Big high knee sends Miller to the floor. Hager is a tweener I think but it’s not really clear. Miller with a nice springboard clothesline to take over as we’re running very low on time. Hager avoids a Zig Zag and hooks the gutwrench for the pin and the end of the show.

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but the idea was to have Hager look like a champion as an introduction to the audience which he certainly did. This was a decent little TV match that gave us something to look forward to on the show. I’m not sure why Hager was fighting him but I guess I can let that slide on a debut for a local TV show. Not bad.

Hager would be brought up to WWE on the ECW roster as Jack Swagger, a much more obnoxious version of his FCW character. He would quickly rise up the ranks and challenge Matt Hardy for the ECW Title on January 13, 2009.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger easily takes him down to the mat to start before cranking on Matt’s arm. We take an early break and come back with Hardy fighting out of a headlock. A bulldog out of the corner gets two for the champion and it’s Swagger in a headlock this time. Swagger forearms him down to the floor and it’s time to work on the arm. Matt’s head is bounced off the mat for two and Jack cranks on the arm even more. A big boot gets two on Hardy and we take another break.

Back with Swagger holding an armbar before grabbing a superplex for two. I suddenly remember why I can’t stand Matt Striker on commentary as he goes on a stupid tangent about political caucuses and how no one challenged in a caucus ever wins. Somehow this is supposed to be about champions never retaining. I’m sure it made sense in Striker’s head and I’m just not smart enough to get it. After all, he used to be a high school history teacher. I say that in jest, but his next line to Todd Grisham is “it’s way over your head.”

Anyway Jack loads up another superplex but gets powerbombed off the top for two. The fans are into this in a hurry. The top turnbuckle pad has been ripped off. Hardy grabs a Russian legsweep for two and the Side Effect gets the same. An armbreaker puts Hardy back down and the running Vader Bomb gets a close two. Off to another armbar but Hardy is quickly to his feet before getting caught in an electric chair. Swagger sends him face first into the exposed buckle and the gutwrench powerbomb gives Swagger the title. Jack laughing at stunned children is a great touch.

Rating: C+. I remember liking this match back when I watched it live and I still like it now. Swagger is a guy that had a lot of potential and that powerbomb is something he should use more often instead of the ankle lock. Hardy could have been a solid option as a champion and I was kind of surprised he was a glorified transitional champion.

Hardy got a rematch at the 2009 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Jack Swagger vs. Matt Hardy

Swagger won the title about two weeks ago and this is Hardy’s rematch. We actually get big match intros for this, which is a rare sight for an ECW Title match. Matt takes him into the corner to start before punching Jack in the face. Striker calls that a pugilistic endeavor to sound smart. Another punch sends Swagger to the floor and we head back inside for a clothesline from Matt.

Jack heads to the floor to hide after Matt swings again. Back in and Swagger takes Hardy to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Hardy comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a bulldog for two, only to go up and get shoved down to the floor. Back in and Swagger starts in on the arm but Hardy quickly escapes a key lock. A punch to Hardy’s arm blocks a clothesline and a big boot gets two for the champion.

Back to the key lock as Jack stays on the arm. He lifts Hardy off the mat by the arm a few times as the fans cheer for the challenger. Matt fights back but he’s basically fighting with one arm here. A bulldog puts Jack down for two and a middle rope elbow to Swagger’s back gets the same.

Hardy walks into a belly to belly suplex from Jack for two though and both guys are down. A DDT on the arm gets two for the champion but Matt blocks a belly to back superplex. Matt hits a decent looking moonsault for two and the fans are getting into these kickouts. The Twist is countered and Jack sends Matt shoulder and possibly head first into the post. The Swagger Bomb retains the title.

Rating: B-. Better match than I was expecting here with both guys looking good out there. Matt was getting close to being something decent as a singles guy and this was his way off ECW and onto Smackdown. Swagger would go on to win a world title and shock the world in the process before falling through the floor soon after. Solid opener here.

We’ll move on to another guy challenging Swagger for the title, this time at No Way Out 2009.

ECW Title: Finlay vs. Jack Swagger

Swags has the title here of course. Christian would come back soon to really get the title going but for now we have this still. You can literally see people heading to get popcorn and drinks as Swagger comes out. Horny helped Finlay break Swagger’s undefeated streak so there’s your reason for this match. Ok, apparently Christian is already back. That came out of nowhere.

Finlay works on the knee but has his shoulder rammed into the post. The fans aren’t exactly impressed. Shoulderbreaker gets two. The fans are more or less openly booing this now. Swagger hammers on the arm as Finlay is in trouble. He gets a move that doesn’t really have a name but Christian has done it before. You set for a reverse DDT but drive the other guy’s back into a knee.

Swagger charges at Finlay in the corner but the Irish dude gets a rolling cradle for one as he couldn’t get the shoulders down. Swagger puts Finlay on the top but they get down without anything of note happening. Crowd is mostly dead but not quite. Here comes Horny again for no apparent reason. Cross body off the middle rope gets two for Finlay. Celtic Cross is set up but for absolutely zero reason at all, Horny gets on the apron (he’s called a child again despite having abeard). Finlay is rammed into him and the gutwrench powerbomb ends this.

Rating: D. Weak match and no one bought Finlay as having a chance with Christian being back now. Horny being up there like that made zero sense at all unless they’re trying to make him out to be a child which is rather stupid as HE HAS A BEARD. Why am I trying to figure out Leprechaun facial hair? Match was kind of there.

Swagger would lose the title to Christian soon after this. He would receive a rematch in a Scramble match at The Bash.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

After falling through the floor for awhile, Swagger would make it to the Money in the Bank match at Wrestlemania 26.

Kofi Kingston vs. MVP vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Matt Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Kane vs. Christian

Kane has a BIG black eye for reasons never explained. Remember when I said eight man matches were too busy? Well here’s a TEN man version. It’s a big brawl to start until MVP throws in the first ladder. Drew tries to go up but gets shoved over by Matt. MVP hits a big running boot to knock Drew to the floor. Nine people fight for two sides of a ladder to climb but Kane cleans house and sends about five guys to the floor.

Christian and Matt go up but Kofi (in the rare white trunks) makes the save. Ziggler hits a kind of Zig Zag off the ladder to Christian but Kane and MVP get back inside. Things are already really congested here. Kane is put into the corner and has a ladder rammed into his ribs. Kofi stumbles up the ladder and falls onto the steel. Shelton comes in with Paydirt to MVP and loads up the big ladder, only to be stabbed with a ladder by Swagger. Jack winds up inside the ladder and gets speared from either side with the tops of ladders between the rungs of the big ladder by Christian and Matt.

Now the ladders Matt and Christian used are bridged across the top rope like a big cross kind of thing. Matt and Christian climb up while Bourne climbs up the side of the ladder. The ladder Matt is standing on falls out and Bourne kicks Christian down, but instead of GETTING THE CASE, Evan hits the Shooting Star on Christian. Now Matt stops Bourne but Swagger comes up and throws Matt onto the other bridged ladder, leaving everyone down.

MVP and Shelton go up but a rana by Benjamin send both guys out to the floor. Kane is the first person back inside but Ziggler makes the stop. He actually climbs over Kane but the big man shoves the ladder over to make the stop. A chokeslam onto the ladder has Dolph in trouble, much like Kane actually slamming the ladder onto Ziggler so hard he BREAKS THE LADDER. In the creative spot of the night, Kofi picks up the two broken pieces and walks on the like stilts.

McIntyre finally makes the save and brings the big ladder back inside. Hardy finally makes the save by shoving Drew off the ladder and onto the top rope for a big crotching. Matt is alone but can’t quite pull the thing down. Christian and Kane join him on top and it’s the big bald being shoved down. Christian hits the reverse DDT (called the Twist of Fate by that schnook Cole) and here’s Swagger back inside. It’s Swagger and Christian on top and a case to the head allows Swagger to (FINALLY as it takes forever) pull down the case to win.

Rating: B-. C+. WAY too many people in there which led to way too much laying around. It’s not a terrible match or anything, but these are getting weaker and weaker as they keep going. Kofi’s stilts spot was great but other than that there’s nothing to see here. We’ve seen these same spots so many times now and they’re getting repetitive, making them weaker every time.

Swagger would win the title about eight days later. His first PPV defense was against Randy Orton (who pinned him less than a week after he won the title to set this up because WWE is stupid sometimes). From Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. For the life of me though I have do not agree with having Swagger lose to set up the match. He’s already not a strong champion so they have him get pinned? Have it be a DQ or countout at least. As for the match, I liked it for what it was. It’s no classic but not bad at all.

The title reign wouldn’t last long as people expected it wouldn’t. Swagger would stick around the midcard until the end of the year when he would get a US Title shot at TLC. Swagger wouldn’t win, but he wanted a rematch in regular wrestling. The match too place on the December 30, 2010 episode of Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Jack Swagger

Unless there’s something extra at the end, there is a ton of time for this at over 15 minutes left of time in the videos, not including commercials.  Striker calls Vickie Haystacks.  For an old school fan like me, Striker’s little one liners are awesome.  Commercial before the match starts so we don’t miss the opening.  And we’re off.

They double team Kofi to start as the commentators like Dolph to retain.  Ah Josh goes with Kofi for his athleticism.  The big elbow hits Kofi as he’s in big trouble.  The fans cheer for him as we’re three minutes into this and it’s been the exact same thing the entire time.  Swagger tells the fans that he’s their hero.

The guy that might be from Africa but might be from the Caribbean takes over and takes out both guys with a big old suicide dive as we take a break.  Back with Kofi holding Swagger in an armbar as Ziggler is still on the floor.  Dolph breaks up what was presumably going to be the Boom Drop and takes Kofi down on the floor.

Back in the ring a Fameasser to Swagger gets two for the champion.  Vickie yells when a Ziggler neckbreaker gets two on Kofi.  Swagger tries to get back up so Dolph drills him off the apron to get back to Kofi.  That’s rather intelligent indeed and a good thing to see in matches.  Dolph cranks on a chinlock as Kofi is in trouble.

Swagger has been on the floor for a long time here.  Kofi fights back and hits a Superman Punch to drop Dolph for awhile.  Boom Drop hits and it’s Kofi in control.  Here comes Trouble in Paradise but Swagger pops up and pulls Kofi out of the air with a German.  Kofi and Dolph ram heads on the suplex and both are down.  Swagger covers both for long twos as the crowd is getting way into this very quickly.

Back up Dolph can’t get a superplex on Kofi so Swagger powerbombs the heck out of the champion instead.  HUGE crossbody by Kofi only gets two.  Swagger takes out the knee as we’re about to go after the ankle.  Kofi counters it but whiffs on Trouble in Paradise.  Ankle Lock goes on but Dolph hooks the Zig Zag on Swagger for two as Kofi makes the save.

This is GREAT stuff if you didn’t get that.  Kofi vs. Swagger at the moment and Kofi gets something similar to a tornado DDT as Swagger stopped the spin part but Kofi dropped him straight down for two as Vickie puts Swagger’s foot on the rope.  Doctor Bomb is reversed and Trouble in Paradise puts Swagger out cold.  Dolph runs in and rolls up Kofi to steal the pin and keep the title at 12:50 shown of 16:20.

Rating: A. Now I’m not a person that likes triple threats for the most part.  For a big time showdown for a title I’m a traditionalist and want to see two people square off for the gold.  This match was great though with great storytelling, a TON of close near falls and an ending that fit it perfectly.  Dolph kept making sure he was in the ring for the vast majority of the time because he knew he had to protect the title.

Other than that you had both guys trying to avoid finishers and using their experience against each other to counter the known moves.  This was incredibly fun and well worth watching as even knowing who wound up winning I got sucked into it.  Great match and great to see the young guys get to show off to end the year.

Swagger would become Michael Cole’s coach for Cole’s showdown with Jerry Lawler at Wrestlemania XXVII. Cole would win (and we’ll leave that disaster at that) and there would be a tag team match to follow up at Extreme Rules 2011.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps.  Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap.  Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday.  Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old.  Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him.  Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face.  There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes.  Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole.  Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold.  Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger!  Swagger escapes and I think accidentally tags Cole.  Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit.  Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow.  He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it.  Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more.  Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE!  This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it?  Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead.  Match sucked too.

He wouldn’t be an All-American American if he didn’t wrestle on the Fourth of July would he? From 2011.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Jack Swagger

Slaughter is very bald.  If you’ve seen any Sarge match where he’s a legend you’ll seen this one.  Sarge gets the jump on him a few seconds into the match and gets the Cobra Clutch but Swagger escapes and a Vader Bomb ends this at 1:18.

In late 2011, the hottest star in the company was Zack Ryder. WWE then decided that having him over in the midcard and selling a ton of merchandise was a bad thing, so they had Kane beat him up and then defend the US Title against Jack Swagger on January 16, 2012’s Raw.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder

Swagger goes straight for the ribs and Ryder’s offense can’t do much. Vader Bomb to the back gets two. Gutwrench powerbomb barely gets two. Another gets the same. He drops elbows on Ryder’s ribs and slaps him around before hitting a third powerbomb…and he wins the freaking title at 2:35.

Swagger wouldn’t do much more for the rest of the year due to injuries and various other issues. We’ll pick things up at Elimination Chamber 2013. Swagger would return to TV at the side of Zeb Colter, a man who was basically a caricature of the Tea Party political movement. This would work well for Swagger though, as he would qualify for the Elimination Chamber match where the winner would receive a World Title match at Wrestlemania XXIX.

Jack Swagger vs. Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton vs. Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Swagger has new music and Zeb Coulter with him. Jack says that when he talks, he showers us with truth. The mustache with Coulter attached talks about the Louisiana Purchase and how disappointed Thomas Jefferson would be with what has become of the once great nation. He doesn’t like illegal immigrants asking for handouts, so the two of them will make things right. Tonight marks the beginning of a Jack Swagger America. The starters are going to be Jericho and Bryan.

Jericho snaps off some armdrags and hooks a headlock on the mat. Bryan counters into a NO Lock attempt but Jericho rolls out into an attempt at the Walls. Bryan rolls out of that to send Jericho into the corner before hitting some NO kicks. Daniel moonsaults out of the corner but gets sent to the cage on the outside. They fight to try to slam each other onto the Chamber floor but Bryan tries the NO Lock again. Jericho counters into a slingshot into the cage as they head back inside.

Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two for Chris. Jack Swagger is in third and he goes right after Jericho. Bryan gets rammed into the cage wall a few times and Swagger follows up with a splash to crush Goat Face again. Swagger drives his knee into Bryan’s head to mash it against the Chamber floor but Jericho makes a save. Jack sends the Canadian into the cage a few times but Bryan comes back with a running knee to Swagger’s head to put him down again.

The swan dive from Bryan misses Jericho and Kane is in fourth. Kane and Bryan team up on Jericho and Swagger but Bryan turns on Kane with a rollup for two. Bryan wants to hug it out but instead Kane hits him in the face. The NO kicks have Kane in some trouble but the NO Lock is countered into a side slam for two. Kane goes up top but Bryan breaks up the clothesline. Jericho comes back in and plays Animal to Kane’s Hawk in a Doomsday Device on Bryan. That gets two for Swagger but he can’t suplex Kane a second later.

Randy Orton comes in fifth. He cleans house and hits a slingshot suplex on Bryan followed by the Elevated DDT on Kane onto the Chamber. In a cool visual, Orton superplexes Swagger just before Jericho superplexes Bryan to put all five guys down. Henry is desperate to get in and there goes the clock, giving us all six guys in the Chamber at once. House is cleaned again and a World’s Strongest Slam eliminates Bryan to get us down to five.

Henry easily tosses Orton through the glass of a pod in a painful looking visual. Back inside it’s Henry vs. Kane and the masked man staggers Henry with a big boot. The top rope clothesline is countered into another World’s Strongest Slam to eliminate Kane and get us down to four. Henry loads up Jericho but Chris escapes and sends Henry into the pod wall. Swagger helps Jericho out and they hit a double suplex onto the Chamber floor. Jericho and Swagger head back in and a cross body off the top gets two for Chris.

The gutwrench powerbomb is blocked by Jericho but he can’t hook the Walls. A bulldog looks to set up the Lionsault but Henry catches Jericho by the throat and throws him into the Chamber wall. Mark launches Jericho onto Swagger and both blonde haired guys are down. Henry misses a Vader Bomb onto both guys and it’s a Codebreaker and RKO to eliminate the World’s Strongest Man.

We’re down to Orton, Swagger and Jericho but all three guys are down. Henry is applauded as he leaves but goes back inside to hit World’s Strongest Slams on all three guys. The fans are digging Henry here and I can’t say I blame them. Booker and Teddy come out to try to stop Henry and they finally get him out of the Chamber. Swagger covers Orton for two and has early control of the three way fight.

Orton and Jericho team up to throw Swagger shoulder and head first into the post/pod. The slugout is on now instead of eliminating Swagger though which could come back to haunt them. Jericho goes up but jumps into a dropkick for two. Swagger is back in now and walks into a powerslam, as does Jericho. Chris breaks up the Elevated DDT on Swagger with a dropkick for two. The Codebreaker to Swagger is countered into a belly to belly suplex for two more.

The running Vader Bomb (popular move tonight) doesn’t connect with Orton but Swagger avoids the boot to the face and hooks the Patriot Act. Jericho hits an enzugiri on Swagger to break up the hold (why?) and there are the Walls on Jack. Orton breaks up the hold (again, why?) and gets two on Jericho before hitting a double Elevated DDT. Randy loads up the RKO but Jericho blocks it, only to miss the Lionsault and walk into the RKO for the elimination. Swagger immediately rolls up Orton for the final pin at 31:25 to go to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was solid stuff and while it was somewhat obvious that Swagger was winning when they got down to three, the match never got dull or uninteresting as they had a very solid triple threat segment at the end. I’m not wild on Swagger winning and getting a shot at the title, but at least they’ve tweaked his character a bit to make him somewhat more interesting. Good Chamber match.

Here’s his title match.

World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto Del Rio vs. Jack Swagger

After all that, Swagger doesn’t even get an entrance. AT WRESTLEMANIA. Colter goes into a rant about how horrible this country is because of how many other languages people speak now, including Chinese and Yiddish. However, Swagger will fix everything tonight by winning the World Heavyweight Championship. Del Rio wears an old school robe and after the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Del Rio quickly sends him to the floor and sends Swagger into the announcers’ table but gets trippled by Colter. Back inside and Jack sends him shoulder first into the post to take over. A quick rollup gets two for the champion but Jack drops him with a kick to the head. The Vader Bomb gets two but Del Rio counters Jack instead of having his knee wrapped around the post. Back in and Jack runs into a boot to the face before taking a few clotheslines to put the champion back in control.

Alberto stomps on Colter’s hand for good measure before the low superkick gets two. The armbreaker is countered into a kind of powerslam for a very close two as Jack is in control again. Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock but Alberto quickly kicks away. He misses the enziguri in the corner though and Jack stays up. Del Rio comes right back with a series of forearms in the corner and the Backstabber is good for two.

The champion hits a German suplex but takes his time following up. His cross armbreaker is countered into the gutwrench powerbomb to give Swagger a two count and there’s the Patriot Lock again. Alberto is almost to the ropes but Jack pulls him back into the middle. Instead Del Rio pulls him down into the armbreaker but Jack counters that into the Patriot Lock.

This time Alberto makes the ropes before countering another gutwrench suplex into a kick to the head. He limps into the corner enziguri for two as Colter puts Swagger’s leg on the ropes. Zeb goes even more evil by kicking Ricardo’s leg out to draw Del Rio outside, allowing Jack to send him into the barricade. Back in and Alberto grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere to retain the title. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: C+. This was getting good in the middle but they ran to the finish almost immediately. There’s a chemistry there and I’d love to see them do stuff on the mat and trade submissions for fifteen minutes. Instead it didn’t even get eleven and they cut off the technical stuff to go for the manager. That being said, it’s still a good match but it could have been great.

Swagger’s run was more or less over at this point so the solution was the same as it always is: job him a lot and then throw him into a tag team. In this case it was with Cesaro as the Real Americans. They would be in a fourway Tag Team Title match at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

We’ll wrap it up with a fourway match for a future Intercontinental Title shot.

Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston

One fall to a finish and the winner gets Big E. (on commentary) for the Intercontinental Title at Elimination Chamber. Henry quickly throws Swagger to the floor but gets taken down by Kofi and Rey. The two speed guys get to have a showdown with Rey dropkicking Kofi for two but they have to eliminate Swagger again. Kofi dives over the top to put Jack down again and Rey hits a running seated senton from the apron. Henry is back in and loads up a dive of his own, only to have Swagger take out his leg.

Two straight Vader Bombs have Henry in trouble but Jack has to clothesline Rey down for two. Mysterio comes back with a top rope seated senton for two followed by the sitout bulldog for two more with Kofi making the save. Rey is sent into the post before Kofi bounce up the ropes and dropkicks Swagger down before hitting the Boom Drop. Rey gets knocked off the apron again and Swagger loads up Kingston in a superplex. Henry tries to make it a Tower of Doom but Kofi holds on, meaning it’s only a powerbomb to Swagger.

Henry cleans house but Swagger takes out the leg again and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to have Mark kick him off. Rey hits a 619 to Mark’s ribs and Kofi adds Trouble in Paradise but Jack is on his feet again. Kofi grabs a German suplex on Rey but Jack suplexes both of them at once in a nice power display. Kingston is sent to the floor but slides back in to break up a 619 attempt. Henry makes the save but gets kicked to the floor by Kofi. The distraction lets Swagger catch Kofi in the Patriot Lock for the submission at 8:35.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with everyone doing their job perfectly. I didn’t see the Mysterio knee injury but I’d guess it was on the seated senton from the apron as he went off camera for a few minutes as a result. Swagger getting the shot is a good enough choice as he was the only heel here and Henry vs. Big E. does nothing for me.

Jack Swagger is a guy who has talent and potential to be something great, but the problem for him now is how brand damaged he is. People see Jack Swagger coming to the ring and it’s almost an automatic loss. He’s a guy that would need to be entirely repackaged and given a new character. Not Jack Swagger doing something different but not Jack Swagger anymore. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do with that when Swagger isn’t really a character that you can just have doing something new. He needs to be something completely different, because this character ran dry about three years ago.

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Watched The Austin Documentary

The one on the Network.  He has like four so I have no idea which is which.  This one runs two and a half hours and is REALLY good.  It takes you through the entire Austin story and has Austin looking back on his entire career.  The more I watch and listen to Austin the more in awe I am of how great he was and is to this day.  The stuff from after the shows ended made me want to go get the After The Show DVD.  Well worth checking out if you have the time.  The documentary that is, but the DVD probably is as well.




Wrestler of the Day – May 4: Chyna

Treat this one for what it is. Today is Chyna.

Chyna would debut as HHH’s bodyguard back in 1997. She destroyed various people and joined DX along with Shawn Michaels and HHH. Eventually she would join them in the occasional match, with her first one coming on May 4, 1998’s Raw.

DOA/Legion of Doom vs. D-Generation X

8 man tag here. The referee throws out Sunny to take away the visual part of this. The Outlaws come out on mopeds. Lawler says he took some Viagra earlier today. Chyna is thrown out also. HHH says not so fast because she’s replacing X-Pac in the match. This is actually happening and it’s Animal vs. Road Dogg to get us going. A powerbomb is broken up but a powerslam hits for two. You figure out who did it to who.

Off to 8-Ball (how does Ross tell them apart?) but he gets beaten down by the future Game. Jerry tries to call this the first intergender match in company history. Not quite but I guess they’re trying to say mixed tag is different than intergender. Billy hits a Fameasser to take over and here’s Chyna to a POP. She busts out a hurricanrana for two but Skull shoves her off with ease.

We take a break and come back with HHH stomping away on one of the bikers but he gets caught in a powerslam for two. Hot tag brings in Hawk and Jerry thinks the LOD just wanted to keep the titles off the DOA. Chyna comes in again and goes up but Hawk knocks her to the floor. He gets a shot in the bird eggs for it and everything breaks down with a three on one DX beatdown to Hawk.

Off to Roadie again as this is getting some time. Billy comes in now and JR sings his praises. He charges after Hawk in the corner (Billy, not JR) and they ram heads which lets 8-Ball get the tag. The LOD and DOA get into a fight which was expected and DX watches (smart) from the ring. LOD gets in some chair shots but they’re only somewhat successful. The match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This was just a way to get Chyna out there and set up the tag feud. This wasn’t much of note but the popularity of DX is certainly noteworthy. LOD vs. DOA would go on FOREVER and it was boring the entire time. Eventually Paul Ellering was brought in for some reason and it didn’t go anywhere else. Not much of a match.

Chyna would only wrestle once or twice in 1998 but would start competing more full time in 1999. One of her first major matches was when she was part of the Corporation. On May 11, 1999, she took part in the Corporate Rumble with the #30 spot in the Royal Rumble on the line.

Corporate Rumble

This is a mini-Rumble where the winner gets to be #30. We open with Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn (not in the Corporation so I guess this is an open field for some reason?) and after a break we’re ready to go. Oh apparently this is DX vs. the Corporation. Why would Vince agree to that? Shamrock kicks Gunn off the apron before Gunn gets in and DIVES ONTO THE FLOOR, eliminating himself in the process.

Shamrock pounds away on Billy as Shane cheers him on. The Boss Man is #3 and Billy is in big trouble already. Gunn comes back with a forearm but Boss Man chokes him down. Test is #4 (I think the intervals are about once a minute) to make it two on one. A big boot put Gunn down but they can’t eliminate him. Thankfully X-Pac is #5 but after only a few seconds, Test hiptosses Billy out.

The layout powerbomb puts Pac down but Road Dogg is #6. He’s still got the blood all over him and nothing happens until Kane is #7. A clothesline puts Roadie out and Pac is stuck 3-1. HHH is #8 and things speed up. Test accidentally hits Kane and gets knocked out as a result. HHH and Pac take out Kane but Pac is eliminated in the process. That leaves HHH vs. Boss Man….until Vince is a surprise entrant at #9.

Shane of course erupts as Vince sneaks in and eliminates both guys to seemingly win the thing. He tears his shirt off ala Hogan, but Chyna is another surprise entrant at #10. The place goes nuts but the Stooges won’t let her get in. Chyna decks both of them and here comes Austin. The distraction is enough to let Chyna throw Vince out (apparently knocking him out cold in the process) and get the #30 spot. Shane freaks to end the show.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade because the wrestling barely existed, but the fan reaction was incredible, as Vince got a ton of heat but Chyna’s pop was even better. Good surprise here but as usual, it’s all about the payoff and nothing about the buildup to that payoff. Such is life in the Attitude Era.

Along with the Corporation, Chyna would go to war with DX, including this tag match at In Your House #27. HHH was livid at her for her betrayal and it’s time for revenge.

HHH/X-Pac vs. Kane/Chyna

HHH is all fired up for this one. He takes off the DX shirt to reveal a Chyna shirt which he rips to pieces. Shane McMahon comes out to do some commentary. HHH pounds away on Kane to start but is quickly clotheslined down. HHH comes back with a shot to the face and brings in X-Pac for some right hands, only to have Kane easily toss him into the corner to take over.

Chyna comes in with a forearm but misses a charge as this is the first man on woman match in WWF history. Chyna avoids the Bronco Buster and things slow down a bit until it’s back to Kane. HHH comes back in with a top rope fist to the face but goes after Chyna instead, allowing Kane to come back with the top rope clothesline for no cover. Chyna gets the tag and escapes a quick suplex attempt to slam HHH down in a nice power display.

Back to X-Pac to crank on the arm and avoid a charge in the corner, setting up a double suplex by DX. Chyna tries to come in off the top but gets launched off the top rope at Kane to keep DX in control. Kane is clotheslined to the floor as everything breaks down. X-Pac dives at Shane before heading back inside to get slammed down by Kane for no cover. Chyna comes back in with a running powerslam before Kane gets the tag and pounds away as well.

HHH is watching a bit too intently, allowing Chyna to blast him in the face before clotheslining X-Pac down for two. Chyna hooks a sleeper hold on X-Pac but gets taken down by a belly to back suplex. A hot tag brings in HHH and everything breaks down again. HHH hits the knee to Chyna’s face but Kane pulls him to the floor to prevent a Pedigree attempt. Chyna gets caught in the corner for the Bronco Buster but Shane sneaks in to jump X-Pac. X-Pac chases him to the back and HHH sends Kane into the steps. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Kane comes in with a chokeslam to give Chyna the easy pin.

Rating: D+. The match was all built around the story but the question is which story. That was the problem with this whole thing: it was such a mess with all the twists and turns that people stopped caring. Eventually at Wrestlemania, Chyna would turn face again to rejoin HHH but then literally less than an hour later they would both turn heel to join the Corporation. Think that’s enough twists and turns?

Chyna would continue doing stuff women didn’t often do by entering the 1999 King of the Ring.

King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Road Dogg vs. Chyna

Road Dogg has a “Down Where, Down There” shirt. Yeah they didn’t steal any of that from the NWO, not a thing. He does his standard intro which forever proves that wrestling doesn’t need to exist to get a character over. DX is more or less dead here as it’s just him and X-Pac. Chyna and HHH are heels now. Roadie got in over Godfather and Chyna over Val Venis.

For an idea on the in ring stuff at the time, none of the 8 qualifying matches went longer than 3 minutes. This is really just a way for Chyna to showcase herself and that’s fine. They start with a very nice hammerlock sequence. The thing that’s forgotten about Chyna is that she could wrestle. Killer Kowalski said she could so that’s pretty solid. I said that before Ross did so I’m happy.

She dominates for a decent while until we hit the floor and HHH slams Roadie into the post. We hear Chyna call a spot which happens at times so that’s ok. Chyna gets points for using a DDT so I like her more than I did for her looks. She steals the Road Dogg’s knee drop which makes me chuckle and gets her a lot of heat. It amazes me how far she fell. Road Dogg can’t really fight back here which is the storyline of the match, which makes a lot of sense actually.

And there’s your ref bump and HHH putting Chyna on top. Make your own jokes. It only gets two though to a GREAT pop. Now Commissioner Shawn comes out for no apparent reason other than to stop HHH. Road Dogg finally snaps and uses his regular offense as HHH is thrown out by Shawn. Chyna goes for her mega low blow but Road Dogg is wearing a metal cup which makes a lot of sense. The pumphandle ends it.

Rating: C+. There was some interesting stuff here. Chyna was a big deal on a semi national level so that’s always a cool thing. Road Dogg was showing he could actually put on a passable match, and the cup thing was smart but simple. This was certainly ok, but it could have been improved by being a few minutes shorter. It wasn’t bad at all though.

During the insanity that was 1999, Chyna found herself in a triple threat with Undertaker and HHH for the WWF Title shot at Summerslam 1999 on August 9, 1999’s Raw.

Chyna vs. Undertaker vs. HHH

Commissioner Shawn Michaels is guest referee for reasons that aren’t clear, falls count anywhere and JESSE VENTURA is guest commentator. HHH shoves Chyna down to start and hammers away on Undertaker in the corner. You know that’s fine with Undertaker as he throws HHH into the corner and pounds away before lifting Chyna in the air by the throat. Chyna rakes the eyes so Taker shoves her to the floor. HHH makes the save but gets kicked in the face and sent outside as well.

The guys fight on the ramp as the announcers talk about HHH being #1 contender coming in but having to defend it here. Jesse spends the entire match talking about how important this is because it’s for a chance to become World Heavyweight Champion. I love hearing commentators do that for a change. HHH and Undertaker come back inside where Chyna has to save HHH from a chokeslam.

She shoves HHH down and hits him low before walking into the softest chokeslam ever from Undertaker. The fans aren’t pleased and let the Dead Man know about it. The guys slug it out again as Steve Austin returns from being hospitalized earlier in the night. All three people are on the floor and here’s Austin to blast HHH in the head with a chair. He puts Chyna on top to send her to Summerslam in a huge upset.

Rating: D+. This would be the second of literally four or five #1 contenders matches which wound up seeing HHH and Mankind both getting the title shot. Chyna winning was there for a big shock while the other two punched each other for eight minutes. At the end of the day she was very popular so this win wasn’t a…..ok yeah this was a huge stretch but it’s not like it lasted.

Since she didn’t get to go after the World Title at Summerslam, she settled for going after the Intercontinental Title over the next few months. Her big showdown with champion Jeff Jarrett came at No Mercy 1999 in a Good Housekeeping match. The idea was that Jarrett thought Chyna should be cooking and cleaning and was going to prove it.

There’s one more interesting thing to this match. This match is, among other reasons, the main reason why Jarrett was thrown out of the WWF and told never to come back. In other words, TNA wouldn’t be around if not for this match. The thing was, this had been built up for months at this point. This more or less was the 3rd biggest match on the card. You could argue the 2nd biggest. One problem: Jarrett’s contract expired Saturday night or Friday or whenever.

Point is: he wasn’t under contract for Sunday and was the Intercontinental Champion. Vince has a major problem and Jarrett realizes it. So, Jarrett says pay him somewhere around $400,000 or he’s not showing up. He had Vince over a barrel so he got paid. The thing is, Jarrett did nothing wrong whatsoever.

Vince messed up here as he didn’t realize that he had a major issue coming up and he just let it go. Jarrett utilized supply and demand. There was a very high demand for his services and a small supply. He used simple economics and charged Vince a very high price tag for it. Not a thing wrong with it at all. Also, how many times do people get the better of Vince? I love that.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so, never to return again due to taking advantage of Vince’s error.

Chyna would start a rivalry with a newcomer named Chris Jericho, defending against him at Survivor Series 1999.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho has only been around a few months and is challenging here. Chyna has Miss Kitty here who isn’t even hiding that she’s T&A here, coming out in a bikini and that’s it. Oh and boots. It’s a brawl to start and Kitty is shoved down because Jericho is a jerk. They head to the floor with Jericho’s knees going into the steps, but Chyna misses a dive off said steps to give the Canadian control.

Back in and Jericho gets hot shotted onto the ropes and put in the Tree of Woe. Chyna tries a German but Jericho kicks her low….with no effect because Chyna isn’t a guy. A standing rana takes Jericho down but he pops back up and clotheslines her to the floor. The springboard dive takes Chyna out again as JR talks about not being into the match due to what happened to Austin. For once this is an acceptable statement.

Jericho throws Chyna over the announce table and pours water over her head because Jericho is a jerk. Back in and a missile dropkick gets two for Jericho as does a small package for Chyna. Chyna tries to make a comeback but Jericho bulldogs him down for two and a BIG face pop. A spinwheel kick puts Chyna down and Jericho is swaggering. A clothesline puts Chyna on the floor and Kitty gets kissed.

Chyna comes back with a spear and posts Jericho as the crowd noticeably gets quieter. Back in and Jericho hits a layout powerbomb for two and Jericho is getting frustrated. Lionsault misses and Chyna hits the springboard elbow and a DDT for two. With about two minutes left, Lawler mentions a stipulation that Jericho will get a sex change if he loses. Keep those priorities straight guys.

With the referee down, a belt shot to the head gets two for Chris but Chyna comes back with a Pedigree for two of her own. Jericho puts her in the Walls but Chyna finally makes the rope. The place boos the submission being broken. Jericho loads up a superplex but a Kitty distraction lets Chyna hit him low and a Pedigree (kind of) off the top gets the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This took a bit to get going but they hit a groove in that ending sequence. The most important thing here though was Jericho wrestled her like any other opponent rather than making a spectacle out of her being a woman. These two would stay at it for awhile until Chyna went nuts and eventually started wrestling women, which was the downfall of her career. Well that and being nuts and HHH breaking up with her, but that’s another story.

Jericho would eventually take the title, before a rematch ended in a double pin. They were co-champions for awhile, until a match at the 2000 Royal Rumble would settle things. Hardcore Holly is thrown in for no apparent reason.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna vs. Hardcore Holly

You know Jericho is fired up to be in MSG. He talks about how awesome his championship celebration will be, as it will make the millennium celebration look like his sister’s seventh birthday party. Holly piefaces Chyna down to start before getting in a slap fight with Jericho. Chyna gets sent to the floor for the Slaughter fall, leaving the blondes to fight for a bit. Holly hits that perfect dropkick of his but Jericho comes back with the forearm.

They slug it out until Holly tries a rana (huh?), only to get caught in the Walls. Chyna makes the save, basically turning heel at the same time. Chyna sends Holly to the floor and gets drilled by Jericho. Holly and Chyna go to the floor where Jericho tries a dive but slips and only hits Holly. Back in and there’s the handspring elbow and DDT from Chyna to the Canadian for two. Everyone heads to the floor where Jericho saves Chyna from a chair shot. Back in and both champions go up for a kind of double splash for two.

They both tried for a cover and a fight breaks out as a result. Chyna escapes a belly to back suplex and hits Jericho low, followed by a Pedigree for two on Holly. Chyna goes up but gets caught in a modified Doomsday Device (cross body instead of a clothesline) for a very close two. That probably should have been the finish. Now Jericho loads up a superplex but gets crotched for his efforts. Holly gets superplexed by Chyna but gets two on her off the bounce. Chyna chairs Holly in the head and puts on the Walls, only to have Jericho break it up and hit the Lionsault for the undisputed title and a BIG pop.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and too short to get bad. It could have been on Raw but see, back in 2000, there was this crazy idea of finishing angles on PPV. I know that’s insane now and everything ends in a big match on Raw or rather just stops happening one day, but back in the old days, they ended like this. Match was fine.

Chyna would soon get into a feud with the newly arrived Radicalz, facing them at Wrestlemania 2000 in a six person tag as she teamed with Too Cool.

Radicalz vs. Too Cool/Chyna

This would be Saturn/Malenko/Guerrero. They’re brand new at this point and Dean is already Light Heavyweight Champion. Too Cool was their first feud and it was a big enough deal that Too Cool rode it to a tag title reign in a few months. Eddie and Scotty start things off and Scott has his hat knocked off almost immediately. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Eddie down and it’s off to Chyna, sending Guerrero running off to Dean.

Malenko loads up a fast powerbomb but Scotty clotheslines him down to break it up. Chyna and the Grandmaster suplex Malenko down and it’s time to dance. Back to Eddie to face Grandmaster with Sexay hitting a quick suplex. Saturn breaks up the top rope legdrop though and the Radicalz take over. Perry comes in legally now and steals Grandmaster’s dew rag, somehow making him look even more ridiculous.

Eddie comes back in and allows Grandmaster to make a tag to Scotty. That goes badly for the non Radicalzas Scotty charges into a hot shot followed by the slingshot hilo for no cover. Grandmaster comes back in sans tag and throws Eddie to the floor as things fall apart. Scotty loads up a double Worm on Saturn and Malenko but an Eddie distraction lets them get back up. There’s no one in the ring at the moment until we get back to Scotty vs. Eddie. Perry comes back in and superkicks Hotty down.

A top rope elbow hits Scotty but again there’s no cover. Instead it’s back to Guerrero who goes up but takes too long, allowing Scotty to crotch him. A superplex puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Chyna. She cleans house with handspring elbows and a double low blow to Saturn and Malenko. Eddie decks her though, breaking part of her outfit in the process. Chyna escapes a powerbomb into one of her own, grabs Eddie’s crotch and slams him down before finishing him with a sleeper drop.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me for the most part but the main story of Chyna vs. Eddie was advanced which is the right idea. This would wind up meaning nothing (in a way) though as Chyna would fall victim to the Latino Heat the next day, starting a summer long relationship between the two. I guess that crotch grab changed her mind.

The following night on Raw, Eddie and Chyna would hook up and stay together for most of the summer. This is probably Chyna’s best story and is pretty well remembered. Eddie and Chyna would regularly team together, including this match on June 5, 2000 on Raw.

Godfather/Dean Malenko vs. Chyna/Eddie Guerrero

This is before Dean was a ladies man so it’s just an oddball team. Eddie interrupts the Godfather’s lines to tick off the fans. This is the followup to Eddie costing Godfather a match against Chyna on Heat. Godfather and Eddie start things off with Eddie being tossed into the corner but Chyna blocks the Ho Train.

Dean comes in and counters a rollup into a wheelbarrow suplex for two. A rana puts Malenko down and it’s off to Chyna whose DDT is easily countered by Dean. The handspring elbow connects with Malenko in the corner before it’s back to Eddie. Dean hiptosses him into the Godfather’s Ho’s, ticking off Chyna in the process. Back in and Eddie counters a tilt-a-whirl slam into a small package to pin Dean.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have any time to go anywhere but notice again that they’re putting a bunch of different acts out there to keep things from getting stale. Yeah we get some repetitive stuff in the back, but it’s a bunch of quick shots instead of long drawn out segments to dull the fans’ minds. In short: keep things moving rather than constantly putting the same stuff out there over and over again.

The pair would face Trish Stratus and Val Venis in a tag team match at Summerslam with Val’s Intercontinental Title on the line.

Intercontinental Title: Trish Stratus/Val Venis vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chyna

Val is champion and the first fall here gets the title, other than Trish that is. Trish’s little white shorts get a BIG pop as you would expect. The guys start things off with Eddie speeding things up and hitting a jumping back elbow for two. A snap suplex gets the same and Guerrero escapes a powerbomb before clotheslining Val down. Eddie catches Val’s kick to the ribs and whips him around into a Chyna clothesline.

A double flapjack puts Venis down for two and Chyna hits another clothesline for two. Trish tries to get in a cheap shot but the distraction allows Val to take over. A LOUD Chyna chant starts up but Val suplexes her down for two. Chyna avoids a middle rope elbow but her powerbomb is countered with a backdrop. Instead Chyna takes him down with a DDT and it’s back to Eddie to clean house. A springboard hurricanrana gets two on the champion but

Val drops him face first onto the buckle and puts Eddie down with a Blue Thunder Bomb. They headbutt each other to put both guys down but Trish tags herself in and gets two on Eddie. Jerry tries to give the blonde pointers but Eddie easily takes Trish down. Off to Chyna and the mauling is on, but Val breaks up the handspring elbow attempt. Chyna avoids a double team and Eddie pulls Val to the floor, allowing Chyna to gorilla press Trish for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the girls looked good enough to carry it. This would be another part of a long storyline as Eddie would cost Chyna the title in about two weeks, accidentally stealing it for himself. Val would split with Trish after this and join up with the Right to Censor for the next few months. Not much to see here other than Trish in the shorts.

Eddie would get caught cheating on Chyna soon after this, leading to a feud between the two. One of their showdowns, albeit with three partners each, took place at Survivor Series 2000.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean co

mes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Chyna would hurt her neck soon after this and be forced to wrestle women. She would also pose in Playboy, causing the Right to Censor to freak out. This led to Chyna vs. RTC member Ivory for the Women’s Title at Wrestlemania X7.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Ivory

For one of the only times ever, Chyna looks great here. Ivory holds the belt to her face before the bell, but the referee is shoved away to let Ivory hit Chyna in the back with said title. Ivory gets in a few more shots but Chyna catches a boot in the corner. The destruction begins and Ivory is beaten down in the corner. A powerbomb kills Ivory dead but Chyna pulls her up at two. Instead it’s a gorilla press slam for the pin and the title. Chyna would bail on the company about a month later without ever losing the title.

Here’s a match I have to include for historical sake. From Raw on April 30, 2001.

Trish Stratus vs. Chyna

If this were like 4 years later, it could have been a featured PPV match. These two kind of missed in the timeline though. Trish is getting a lot of her signature looks and styles down but is wearing shorts instead of the long pants. Heyman does the sponsor ad for the Judgment Day PPV which would be Chyna’s last WWF match. Trish tries a charge and literally bounces off Chyna. This is domination even though Chyna doesn’t want to hurt her. Military press puts Trish down as does a jackknife, good for the pin. One of the most dominant squashes I’ve ever seen.

Chyna grabs the mic and says she doesn’t have much competition so she’s going to spank her opponents instead of pinning them. Cue Lita to a big old pop. She challenges Chyna and this actually approaches epic. Chyna squashed her because that’s all she did to the other Divas. The spanking thing was supposed to be….well I’m not sure what it was supposed to be. It was Chyna’s last American match for about 10 years.

And now, their match from Judgment Day 2001.

Women’s Title: Chyna vs. Lita

Lita is insanely over here. And here’s Chyna looking like a freaking peacock. That’s JR’s term, not mine. They hug before the match as I guess Lita is ok with Chyna being all evil to her and not seeming to take this seriously at all. This is power vs. speed here and both use their own better attribute to take over for a bit. Lita tries to help Chyna up and gets rolled up for two. Ok so she’s hot but not incredibly smart. Got it.

Chyna overpowers the match with ease to start but Lita gets a DDT for two. She finally wakes up and hammers away on Chyna. Middle rope clothesline gets two. Lita goes for the arm as this is getting sloppy. The fans are still in it though so they have that at least. Swinging neckbreaker by Chyna sets up a powerslam for two.

Lita channels her inner Alberto by hooking up a rolling cross armbreaker and Chyna is in real trouble all of a sudden. Chyna reverses into a headscissors and here’s Eddie for no apparent reason. She tries a powerbomb but Lita reverses into a horrible looking rana for two. And then a powerbomb by Chyna ends this clean. Nothing from Eddie other than standing there and Chyna more or less didn’t break a sweat.

Rating: D. This was supposed to be the big showdown? Chyna destroyed Lita here and made her look like a joke. This was Chyna’s last match in the company as she was taken off TV and the title was held up. She held the title until November anyway so there simply were no title matches for about six months. In short, Chyna destroyed the division and it took Trish and Lita to bring it back to whatever it was. Oh and this match was awful.

Chyna would go to Japan for awhile and do nothing of note. After going a bit insane, Chyna would make a one night return to wrestling in TNA, at Sacrifice 2011.

Jeff Jarrett/Karen Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle/Chyna

This should be….interesting. Christy points out that it’s guy on guy and girl on girl. Those exact words. TNA seems rather sexually frustrated tonight for some reason. Chyna looks like Captain America. We get a vague reference to Chyna and Jarrett feuding over the IC Title back in WWF without saying any of that of course. The guys start because we haven’t seen that in awhile right?

Loud Angle chant to start us off as Karen is about to cry. Chyna’s Gonna Kill You according to the crowd. Chyna gets tagged in and Karen hides on the floor. Jeff sneaks around and comes in as apparently he’s still legal so Kurt doesn’t have to be tagged in. Ankle lock goes on but Karen’s distraction leads to her being almost fed to Chyna. Gorgeous dropkick by Jeff puts Kurt down.

The fans want Chyna which means she might do a total of one move. Jeff and Kurt do the majority of the work here as you would expect them to. Kurt snaps back into it (OH YEAH!) and a belly to belly gets two. Angle Slam can’t hit and it’s Rolling Germans time. Jeff takes over again and says it’s over. Stroke is countered into the ankle lock but Jeff escapes. Angle Slam hits for two.

Chyna finally gets tagged in and (mostly) slams Jeff. Supelx looks a bit weird and Karen says I love you but no. Chyna goes after Karen in full on stalker mode but Karen walks into Kurt in the ring. Chyna gets her and hits a splash/clothesline in the corner. Pedigree hits and Tenay calls it a DDT. That has to be better than the powerbomb. Ankle lock goes on but Jeff won’t let her tap. Angle grabs one on Jarrett and Karen taps.

Rating: C. I’m not sure what to grade this so we’ll go with it right in the middle. While it wasn’t much, this was more or less exactly what they had to do. Chyna isn’t tested in the ring recently and Karen can’t wrestle so they let the guys have a quick match and let Chyna hit like two moves to end it. The feud is likely going to continue unless they had the weakest blowoff in recent memory. Not great, but exactly what it was destined to be.

Chyna is certainly an interesting case. She reached a point in 1999 where she stopped being a female wrestler and started being a wrestler who happened to be female. She was VERY over for awhile before going nuts and thinking she was way more valuable than she really was. I think she reached her peak as far as success, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t very talented in her own right. The things she accomplished can’t be overlooked and the fact that no one has gotten close ever since says a lot.

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