Or how Batista and Randy Orton have become Mike Tyson.

Daniel Bryan has come a long way this year, and at the end of the day there’s absolutely nothing left for him to do but win the title on the big stage.  Well win it and then keep it for more than twenty four hours.  This is up there with the Steve Austin build as he has to win it at some point and every sign seems to him walking out of New Orleans with the title.

That being said, WWE has done a great job of planting some seeds of doubt.  It’s all they had to do and somehow they’ve pulled it off.  Look back to 1998 with Austin vs. Michaels.  There was no doubt that Austin would walk out with the title, so they added Mike Tyson as the heel referee to try and make things look in doubt.  This is a better execution of that as you could actually see any of them taking (or keeping) the title.  The drama could be INSANE out there, but at the end of the day it’s Bryan’s match to lose.

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What else can I say about this one?Something tells me that this is the match of the night, but the ending is a little shaky.  At the end of the day, there is absolutely no way Bryan doesn’t make the title match.  Now the big question is how does he do that?  There’s the simple option of him beating HHH, but I don’t see that as likely.  There’s the option of HHH winning just to shock the heck out of the audience and then have Hogan make the save, but that seems out of place as well.  I’m thinking a draw, putting HHH in the main event.

HHH vs. Bryan has been building up for years and the Occupy Raw movement finally got us to this point.  People have been wanting to see Bryan take HHH’s head off for months now and this is the chance.  HHH’s video on Monday made everything work so much better, as now HHH is acting evil like he should have been doing all along.  This is the moment Bryan needs to set up the moment he’s destined for, and it’s going to come at the end of an insane match.

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The winner literally beats the entire division.We’ve been saying AJ loses the title in the big finale to Total Divas for months now, but for once I think it doesn’t happen.  Instead I see AJ hanging onto the title so Paige can win the title on Raw.  The Total Divas would rather yell at each other over their latest drama and the title has only been mentioned occasionally.  AJ winning and issuing an open challenge on Raw is a great way to go, but this is going to be completely insane no matter what happens so why bother trying to talk about the match itself?

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I’ve ranted enough about the complaints for the build.It’s Wrestlemania.  Of course Undertaker wins.

Seriously what else do you want here?  It’s going to be a brutal fight and the Streak continues, sending Undertaker into seclusion until next February, save for an appearance tomorrow night on Raw.

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This is the match I’m looking forward to more than anything else.This is the match that they’ve put some thought into as you have Bray ripping away at Cena’s legacy by saying Cena is lying to himself when he puts all of this out there.  THis goes right in the face of everything Cena believes and plays up an interesting idea for Cena: what is Cena going to be remembered as?  It’s clear that he’s nearing the end of his career with all of the injuries, but how does he let go of something that he’s built his entire life around.  That’s some very interesting psychological stuff to get into and could be awesome stuff down the line.

As for tomorrow though, Bray Wyatt gets a chance to get the biggest win of his career on the biggest stage he’ll get for a long time.  He has the potential to be a huge star and a win over John Cena on the biggest stage of them all is a great way to do that.  Cena isn’t in the main event here and it’s kind of interesting to see him going there.  That being said, I’m not sure who I see winning here.  Cena doesn’t need the win, but at the end of the day I’m not sure I can see Bray getting the pin.  However, I think that’s where they’re going, leading to an incredibly violent rematch at Extreme Rules.

The good thing is both guys are capable of having some excellent matches against anyone as Bray is the evil calculating one who lets his talented minions do his work for him and only gets his hands dirty for the big matches (or the occasional squash).  This should be outstanding all around and the potential for psychological stuff as a result are absolutely incredible.  Does Cena start to doubt himself as we head into his final years?  I can’t imagine they end Bray this early, as once he loses a lot of the mystique goes with it.  I’m looking forward to the war though.

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Basically if you’re on the roster and not on the show, you’re in this.The push seems to be for Big Show to win here, but it seems too easy for that to happen.  I think they might go with Sheamus, but the interesting thing is who the last three entrants are.  My money is on Rob Van Dam, someone we don’t care about, and Sami Zayn.  That being said, the rumor is CM Punk returning and winning, but that doesn’t jive with the idea of him feuding with Austin as has been planned, as it would put him up against Hogan, which doesn’t work at all.

Most of the people simply aren’t going to win, but I’ll take Sheamus for the surprise win.  This isn’t the Royal Rumble, meaning you can have 29 people gang up on Big Show at once.  Granted that rarely works on big names, so I think he makes the final two or three but eats a Brogue Kick for an elimination.  The match can be good if they let it work, but the entrances are either going to be all together or take about an hour and a half.  This has the potential to suck but it could be fun if they build some drama.  The last three entrants should be fun as well.

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Let’s get this one over with.If you’ve been reading my reviews lately, you know that I wanted this to be Ascension.  Kane even eluded to a new team coming in when he said Shield could be replaced.  Instead we get a nostalgia act who couldn’t remember if they were heels or faces recently.  I just can’t buy the Outlaws as a threat to Shield after they’ve spent a year and a half tormenting the likes of John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Big Show, Randy Orton, Sheamus and the Wyatts.  The Outlaws couldn’t hang with these guys fifteen years ago but now we’re supposed to buy them as a real threat to the Shield?  That just doesn’t work for me.

I have to go with Shield, as there’s absolutely no reason for the old guys to win.  They’ve tried to play this up as Attitude Era vs. Modern Era but it’s just not working all that well.  Shield deserves to win, but this feels like a major step down after facing three former world champions last year.  The team as faces is interesting though and hopefully lasts for a few months.

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We might as well start with the preshow.This is a good example of how the tag division is extensive but not very talented.  Los Matadores are just kind of there, Ryback/Curtis Axel are the heel jobbers, the Real Americans are basically about getting Cesaro over, and the Usos are awesome.  Yeah there are several teams out there, but none of them are really doing much for me.  The heels are there after a favor to Kane and Los Matadores are there because why have three teams when you can have four teams?

I’m going with the Usos, but this basically cleans out the division.  A team will have to Rise to beat them, but who could do that…..

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Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is one of those weird shows where everything is about hyping up Wrestlemania. There will be a lot of hype videos and stuff from Axxess plus a few matches taking place in the arena. This is going to be a shorter review than normal as it’s all about setting up Sunday rather than anything tonight. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus throws Ziggler around to start and drops a big leg for two. The announcers run down most of the people in the battle royal as Titus hooks a chinlock. Back up and Titus runs into a pair of boots to the face followed by a cross body and some right hands from Dolph. Ziggler hammers away in the corner even more and drops Titus with a neckbreaker. Titus avoids the Fameasser and gets two of his own off a big boot. He loads up some backbreakers but Ziggler escapes and nails the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here but that’s the point for a show like this. It sets up more of the battle royal and keeps Ziggler on a winning streak for the first time in far too long. I’m not saying the guy should be World Champion, but having him lose far more often than he wins is ridiculous for a former champ. I’m not wild on Titus losing but I can live with it being to a name of this magnitude.

Andre the Giant video.

Video on HHH dominating everyone he’s faced over the last eleven years. I think this is slightly different from the video on Monday.

Speaking of Monday, we also get clips from HHH and Stephanie’s promo on Raw, followed by the ending of the show.

We get a sitdown interview with Batista conducted by Booker T. Big Dave talks about coming back to the company and being shocked at everything he’s seen. Booker agrees that things have changed and we get clips of Batista ranting about the real men being gone. Daniel Bryan is clearly just the flavor of the month and Batista is going to squash him like a bug at Wrestlemania. The fans are living vicariously through Bryan but Daniel just isn’t the real deal. Orton is a big corporate sellout and Batista can’t wait to kick his face in. You can guarantee that Batista walks out with the title and he’ll be enjoying the boos.

Los Matadores vs. Real Americans

Fernando starts with Swagger as the fans chant WE THE PEOPLE. The masked man tries a headscissors out of the corner but gets sent to the apron. He comes right back with an armdrag and it’s quickly off to Cesaro to try his luck. Cesaro gets armdragged as well and a headscissors puts him down again. Diego comes in with a slingshot headscissors of his own and the Real Americans want to caucus. Zeb slaps Cesaro to get his attention and not-Antonio isn’t happy.

The slap works as Cesaro comes in with a running dropkick of all things followed by some running European uppercuts in the corner. A release gutwrench suplex sends Diego flying and we take a break. Back with Diego fighting out of a chinlock and taking both Real Americans down with a double DDT. He still can’t make a hot tag though as Cesaro slams him down and drops a big elbow for two. Back to Swagger who throws Cesaro onto Diego in the corner, followed by a big running clothesline for two.

Diego avoids a charge in the corner and backdrops Cesaro to the floor. The Patriot Lock doesn’t work but Cesaro makes a save, allowing Swagger to hit a belly to belly for two. The Vader Bomb into the double stomp gets the same but Diego sends both Americans to the floor. He FINALLY makes the hot tag to Fernando as things speed up. A running elbow gets two on Cesaro and a top rope cannonball gets the same. Diego sends Swagger to the floor as well but Cesaro kicks him in the face. Fernando dives into the Swing and the Neutralizer is good for the pin at 12:19.

Rating: C. I’m not big on the Matadores but this was an entertaining match. It’s cool to see teams like them get some extra TV time around this part of the year because everyone else is busy. The Real Americans could win the titles on Sunday and it’s nice to see them getting a win here.

Video on AJ Lee which transitions into a video on the Vickie Invitational.

Video on Cena vs. Bray, including their segment from Raw.

Package on Shield vs. Kane/Outlaws, including a big chunk of Kane vs. Reigns from Raw.

We get a sitdown interview with Orton, again conducted by Booker T. He talks about winning the title back in December and how it means he’s the top man in the industry. As for the triple threat, Orton knows HHH a lot better than he knows Bryan, but he also knows HHH is brutal. When they step into the ring together, HHH is just another guy.

Orton took what HHH said about holding his hand as a compliment because HHH called him a technically gifted wrestler. This came off as him not wanting to yell at his boss. We get a quick clip of Occupy Raw and Orton calls him a fad. There’s no guarantee that Bryan will make it into the match though so Orton isn’t worried.

As for Batista, he’s missed four long years and is stuck in the past. Back in the day he would have been an opponent but now he’s just a guy. Orton promises to keep the title on Sunday. I liked this more than I thought I would have as it felt like it was more from Orton the person rather than Orton the character.

Video on Brock vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Hogan in the arena to close the show. He’s glad to be back here in Washington and is pumped up to be the host. Hulk talks about his own great Wrestlemania memories like the main event of Wrestlemania I, Wrestlemania XVIII against The Rock and of course Wrestlemania III against Andre. That match makes the battle royal so important to him and we see the trophy on the screen. Hulk calls it beautiful and asks what we’re going to do when it runs wild on YOU and that’s the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was all you could expect from a Wrestlemania weekend Smackdown. The wrestling obviously wasn’t the point here and it would be ridiculous to treat this like a regular show. All the videos worked well and every match was covered so what more can you ask for? Wrestlemania looks good and I’m excited to be going so it’s a good episode this week, despite it being different than every other show all year.

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Thunder
Date: November 12, 1998
Location: Roanoke Civic Center, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Lee Marshall

It’s another taped edition which means I’m probably about to lose all will to live. The main story is still Bret attacking people and being a loose cannon, which is completely different from Scott Steiner attacking people and being a loose cannon. WCW is in desperate need of some top faces as Goldberg has been nowhere near the top story for months, Flair isn’t wrestling, and all the other faces are being injured by Hart. Let’s get to it.

The announcers run down the card as is their custom.

Glacier vs. Chris Adams

Before the match Glacier says he invented the Cryonic Kick, which I believe he told Saturn a few months back. At least he’s consistent. They lock up a few times with no one getting an advantage until Glacier grabs a wristlock to take over. Glacier takes him down and hammers away with right hands, already making him more interesting than most Ernest Miller matches.

Adams gets back up and nails some right hands of his own after a kick to the face. They head outside for a few seconds before getting back in so Adams can kick Glacier out of the air. A powerbomb sets up the superkick from Adams but here’s Sonny Onoo for the save. When I say save, I mean the referee takes forever to count because Sonny missed his cue. The distraction lets Ernest Miller come off the top with a kick to the head, allowing Glacier to drive his thumb into Adams’ neck for the submission.

Rating: D+. This was actually better than I was expecting. Glacier has gotten a lot easier to sit through by just adding in some moves beyond kicks. He’s still not entertaining or someone I care about now, but I’d rather watch this version of him than the one that got a big push a year or so ago.

We look at the big Hogan Presidential announcement from Nitro.

Kenny Kaos vs. Kendall Windham

Kaos is billed as part of High Voltage despite being half of the Tag Team Champions with Rick Steiner. Or wait are the two of them still champions after the Judy Bagwell thing on Monday? And Kaos is ok here but was too hurt to wrestle Monday? You can see the confusion already setting in for this company. Kaos grabs a hammerlock to start but Kendall goes into the ropes.

Windham slugs away but gets caught in a wristlock and it’s already time to talk about the battle royal in a few weeks. Kendall heads outside to sucker Kaos in and take over with shots to the back. He misses a middle rope knee drop though and Kenny takes over with a clothesline and powerslam. Kendall grabs a quick swinging neckbreaker but runs into an elbow to the jaw. After heading to the apron, Kaos comes back in with a springboard clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C-. As is always the case around this time, the question is the same: why Kenny Kaos? It’s nice to see someone new pushed, but at the same time there are better choices out there than Kaos. To this day it doesn’t make a ton of sense but Kaos didn’t do a horrible job in the role.

Video on Lex Luger.

Stevie Ray vs. Jerry Flynn

Norton, Vincent and Horace are at ringside. Stevie actually needs Vincent to offer a distraction so he can take over to start. He works over Jerry with as basic of a power offense as you can think of, though he still finds time to work in a SUCKA or two. Flynn gets pounded down and sent into the buckle where Norton gets in some choking from the floor. Flynn comes back with some kicks and choking in the corner but gets sent to the floor for a beating from the NWO. Back in and we hit the bearhug from Stevie before he kicks Jerry in the face and hits the Slap Jack for the pin.

Rating: D. This match is a good example of why the NWO stopped mattering. Norton, Vincent and Horace never meant much in WCW, but we have to sit through them being on screen and act like they matter because they’re wearing an NWO shirt. Look at all the people that could use this spot to get a rub, but instead these guys are out there and never getting anything out of it because the top guys in the NWO weren’t going to go anywhere.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera

Winner gets a shot against Kidman at the PPV. They shake hands to start followed by Guerrera grabbing a wristlock to take over. Rey drops to the mat and nips up into a spin move to escape. Mysterio’s wristlock is countered with a slam and Rey bails to the floor for a second. Back in and they trade headlocks before actually slugging it out. A slingshot suplex drops Mysterio but he pops up and takes Juvy into the corner to hammer away. Rey misses a charge into the corner and gets taken down by a headscissors as we go to a break.

Back with Rey hammering Juvy down for the Bronco Buster before slapping on a headlock. Juvy comes out with a nice atomic drop before putting on a surfboard for a bit. He can’t hold Rey up though so it’s off to an armbar instead. Rey fights up again and hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by a moonsault for two. Juvy gets back up and nails a quick powerbomb for two of his own but walks into a hurricanrana for the same.

Rey misses a charge into the corner and Juvy tries to go up top for the 450 but Mysterio grabs his feet for the save. Juvy kicks him away, only to miss a top rope legdrop and get caught in a figure four headscissors. That goes nowhere so Rey throws him to the floor. Juvy teases walking out but comes back in and nails a brainbuster as the time limit runs out. We’re going to keep going though because the title shot is on the line. Imagine that: wanting a winner to get a title shot.

We’re in overtime now with Juvy missing a charge into the corner. Rey slams him down but misses a top rope legdrop to give Guerrera a two count. Mysterio rolls to the floor and gets caught by a big old dive over the top. Back in and Juvy hits the Juvy Diver, only to have Rey break it up and nail the top rope hurricanrana for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: B-. This is another match that is really hard to screw up. Rey is the best high flier WCW had and Juvy is probably right behind him. Both guys looked good here despite the lack of high spots. It’s an encouraging sign when they can mix up what they do out there to make the match feel different.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Kidman is defending and it’s face vs. face here. They lock up a few times to start until Chavo grabs a headlock. That goes nowhere until Kidman sends him into the ropes and nails a dropkick. The champ grabs an armbar and Chavo can’t even slam his way out of it. Chavo eventually shakes Kidman off and scores with a clothesline and belly to back suplex for two. A powerslam gets the same but Chavo grabs Pepe until we take a break.

Back with Chavo still in control but he stops to talk to Pepe. Kidman can’t capitalize though and has to kick out of a German suplex at two. We hit a camel clutch on the champion before Chavo shifts over to an Indian deathlock with a crossface. The crowd audibly gasps on that one and I can’t blame them. That move always looks awesome.

They get back up and Chavo avoids a dropkick before getting two off an elbow drop. Time for more Pepe, but this time Kidman is able to get up for a high cross body and a two count. Guerrero comes back with a pair of rollups for two each but has his suplex countered into a powerbomb. Back up again and Chavo wins a battle of the forearms before walking the corner for a bulldog. He makes the eternal mistake of trying a powerbomb and gets slammed face first down into the mat. Kidman loads up the Shooting Star but here’s the LWO for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Another good cruiserweight match which got the time to go somewhere. Chavo’s character is starting to come into form by being a very talented guy who keeps getting distracted by the horse. It’s a better gimmick than being completely insane and is a logical evolution for the character as he’s done with Eddie now and has no reason to play as many mind games.

World War 3 ad.

Dean Malenko vs. Kanyon

Malenko doesn’t care to hear Kanyon’s catchphrase so he easily takes Kanyon down and slaps on an armbar. Back up and it’s off to a headlock from Dean before he runs Kanyon down with a shoulder. Kanyon tries to get in a cheap shot off a lockup and Dean is all ticked off now. Dean gets warned by the referee and Kanyon gets in a few cheap shots to take over. He hammers away on Malenko and chokes away before hitting the middle rope Fameasser.

A sleeper is countered by a belly to back from Malenko but he gets rammed into the buckle. Kanyon grabs a suplex of his own and gets two off a slingshot elbow drop. Dean gets taken down with a swinging neckbreaker but is still able to avoid a top rope splash. Kanyon is able to get his boot up in the corner and throws Malenko outside but Raven doesn’t do anything. Raven walks to the back to distract Kanyon, allowing Malenko to break out of the Flatliner. Dean takes him down and loads up the Cloverleaf but Lodi runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t as good as I was expecting but it wasn’t a bad match. Kanyon was using most of his usual stuff here but he was so different than most of what anyone else was doing so it still looked unique. Malenko didn’t look on his game here but he’s still perfectly fine while being off a step.

Konnan vs. Giant

Much like Dean, Giant doesn’t want to hear what his opponent has to say so he shoves Konnan to the side. Konnan bails to the floor but it doesn’t do him much good as Giant hammers him down again. Giant misses an elbow in the corner but falls on Konnan in a slam attempt. A Russian legsweep drops Konnan and Giant chucks him to the floor. Giant follows Konnan outside and just mauls him like Konnan isn’t even there. A table is set up against the steps (drawing an ECW chant) but Konnan moves to send Giant through it instead. Konnan grabs a chair and blasts Giant, drawing the lame DQ.

Rating: D+. There’s something about Giant throwing large men around that entertains me. Of course it could be that most of Konnan’s talking makes me cring and I enjoy seeing him get beaten up. This was your usual “we’ve got no time left but this show needs some star power so here you go” main event.

Giant shrugs it off and chokeslams the referee for yelling about the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The C is for cruiserweights here as they carried this show on their backs. I got tired of the disqualifications but at least we got some long entertaining matches leading up to them instead of the garbage we usually get before the DQ. There wasn’t much storyline development, which is going to become a problem as the PPV is in ten days.

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