Turning Point
Date: January 9, 2015
Location: John Paul Jones Arena, Charlottesville, Virginia
Attendance: 430
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

Believe it or not they’re actually changing things up here with a series of matches instead of some tournament or series of qualifying matches for a gauntlet at the end of the show. There doesn’t seem to be an overarching theme for the show but they’ve come up with some random ideas before. Let’s get to it.

We open with shots of the people appearing on tonight’s show without a voiceover. I can’t imagine all these people will be on the card.

We immediately go to a clip of X-Division Champion Rob Van Dam defending against Kenny King from Impact on February 23, 2013 with Van Dam missing a 450 splash and King hitting the Royal Flush for the pin and the title. This explains the theme: we’re going to see clips of the turning points of everyone’s career.

Samoa Joe’s career turning point is beating Kurt Angle for the World Title at Lockdown 2008. These clips are two to three minutes each and seem to be used to fill in time.

Kenny King vs. Samoa Joe

The arena looks incredibly small, even though the record attendance is over 15,000 people. As a result, the lights are turned way down and only the first few rows can be seen. Joe grabs a wristlock to start but King bails to the ropes and then the floor. Back in and King quickly takes Joe down with some nice spins and flips before heading outside to brag about it. Even Joe gives him a nod to say “well done”. Joe sends him into the corner for the enziguri and running knee drop for two.

Tenay and Taz are already on their tangents as King hits a great looking springboard Blockbuster for two. We hit the chinlock as Tenay is actually trying to get the commentary back to something pertinent but Taz uses the opportunity to brag about himself. A spinwheel kick gets two more for Kenny and we hit the son of the chinlock. Joe fights up and catches King in an atomic drop. The backsplash and snap powerslam get two each. A nice Pele puts Joe down but King charges into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner, setting up the Muscle Buster for the pin at 7:50.

Rating: C-. I have a very bad feeling about this show as they were only going through the motions out there. There are two versions of Samoa Joe: the guy that took TNA by storm about ten years ago and the version where he has no interest in being out there. There’s almost no in between the two either, so you’re either getting the good or the bad. This was more of the latter as Joe was just doing his greatest hits instead of really trying. King was his usual self as well, meaning the match was passable but nothing I’d ever want to see again. In other words, this is going to be your run of the mill One Night Only shows.

Music video on the Beautiful People, Gail Kim and Madison Rayne. I guess this is the substitute for their turning points, though it seems to be more of a standard hype video.

Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne

The fans are behind Gail here but Angelina insists she get to do her dance before things get started. That earns her a forearm to the jaw as the announcers make fun of Earl Hebner’s age. Love gets knocked to the floor and Rayne rolls Kim up for two. Kim escapes the scissor stomp (Rayne’s move where she slams someone’s face into the mat) and knocks Angelina to the floor.

Back up and Kim hits the running cross body to the ribs in the corner but Angelina pulls her down to the floor. It settles down to Madison vs. Angelina as the match gets back to your standard Impact Knockouts match. Love pulls on Madison’s hair while putting a boot in her back, only to get rolled up by Gail for two. A hot shot onto the buckle puts Kim down again as this match is in the “two in one out” formula. Love puts her in the Tree of Woe to give us a Kevin Sullivan reference.

Madison finally remembers that she’s in the match by tripping Kim but gets in a fight with Love over who gets the pin. Now the announcers talk about the Jumping Bomb Angels to keep up the joke that Hebner is old. Kim puts Madison in a headscissors but Love puts Kim in a full nelson but with her legs. Taz: “It’s like one giant, hot worm.” Tenay drops the required Scotty 2 Hotty joke. The hold is broken up and Kim dropkicks both girls down at the same time for two each. Angelina’s Botox Injection takes Madison down but Eat Defeat gives Kim the pin at 8:56.

Rating: C. Oh yeah this is a One Night Only show. This was another watchable yet uninspired match with the standard triple threat formula in full swing. These three plus Velvet have been around the division for so long that it’s hard to care about seeing them again. We’ve seen each combination so many times that just throwing most of them together doesn’t do much for me. The match was fine but again, nothing I’ll think about ten minutes from now.

Austin Aries says he’s had a lot of turning points in his career, starting with a phone call asking him to come down for a tryout. Then he became the longest reigning X-Division Champion and cashed it in with Option C. Sanada’s turning point was when he turned his back on Great Muta. Sanada’s turning point tonight will be his last.

Video recapping Muta mentoring Sanada until James Storm got in Sandad’s head and turned him to the dark side.

Austin Aries vs. Great Sanada

This is the third time these two have fought on One Night Only shows. Storm is at ringside with Sanada. Tenay and Taz build this up as a huge rivalry and for once they’re actually on point. Sanada hammers him down in the corner to start but Aries is perfectly capable of brawling with him. Aries runs Sanada over with a shoulder but Storm trips him up to stop the momentum. That’s enough for an early ejection and we’re getting a one on one match.

It’s still Aries in control with the slingshot hilo and an elbow drop for two. A middle rope dropkick to the back of Sanada’s head gets two more and one to the face sends Sanada to the floor. He’s shaken up but not bad enough to avoid a plancha to send Aries crashing to the concrete. The announcers actually get into an interesting discussion of the difference between American and Japanese training. Discussions like that make their usual commentary so much more frustrating because it’s clear they can be interesting but just don’t do it. Sanada chokes away back in the ring and throws Aries back to the floor to keep control.

Aries comes up holding his arm so Sanada sends him into the steps a few times. Back in again and a springboard chop to the head gets a few two counts for Sanada as he’s starting to get frustrated like any heel would in his situation. Sanada gets caught choking with wrist tape so he throws Aries outside again.

A Saito suplex gets two on Austin and it’s off to the chinlock. You know, I wonder why so many people use chinlocks over the years. Wouldn’t you think they would pick up on the idea that they ALWAYS lead to a comeback? I mean, it’s one of the few universal truths in wrestling but they always do it and seem surprised when it doesn’t work. Almost on schedule, Aries pops up but Sanada puts him back down with a slam.

The moonsault is broken up as Aries takes the legs out to send him face first into the buckle. Now it’s Aries sending Sanada to the floor but he bites Aries’ finger to slow him down. That’s quite the intelligent counter. Sanada comes back in with a springboard but Aries mistimes the dropkick to knock him out of the air, meaning Sanada has to bail out for no reason and the whole thing looked bad.

Aries neckbreakers him over the middle rope and dropkicks him into the corner. Sanada escapes the brainbuster but gets taken down by a nice plancha. Back in and Aries goes up, only to have Storm come down and shove Aries off the top. As usual the announcers ruin the moment by making it sound like the least interesting thing they’ve seen in months. Sanada superkicks Aries for the pin at 15:35.

Rating: B. Hit and miss commentary aside, this was one of the best matches this series has ever had. These guys know how to work together so well and they were showing off out here. I was hoping for a clean finish but this version plays into the Revolution idea, which is the more logical ending. Really good match, as I’ve grown to expect from these two.

We look at Ethan Carter III beating Sting at Genesis 2014, with a major assist from referees Spud and Magnus.

Ethan brags about beating all the legends, such as Norv Fernum, Shark Boy and Dewey Barnes. Oh and Bully Ray, Sting and Kurt Angle. He’s been part of a loss, but it was Spud getting pinned in a tag match. Ethan blames Spud for his aunt going through a table, but tonight is Spud’s chance at redemption.

Rockstar Spud/Ethan Carter III vs. Gunner/Mr. Anderson

The curse of taped in advance strikes again. Anderson shrieks his intro this time to scare the announcers, triggering a Motley Crue discussion. Carter and Anderson get things going but Spud tags himself in before any contact. With Anderson closing in, Spud tags out to Carter. Spud: “I got in his head sir!”

We finally settle down to Anderson and Carter trading wristlocks until Anderson armdrags him down into an armbar. Gunner tags himself in but gets pulled down by the hair. It’s off to a terrified Spud but he tags right back out to Carter. As the announcers talk about reforming the Rockers because they think their job is to riff on wrestling matches, Gunner misses a charge at Carter in the corner, allowing for the tag to Spud for a bunch of lame forearms to the back.

Gunner no sells being rammed into the buckle so Spud tries it himself, knocking himself silly in the process. Spud chops his partner by mistake, but that counts as a tag. The boss isn’t happy and chops Spud down, only to get caught in a double hiptoss. Everything breaks down for a minute with both villains ramming Anderson into the apron.

Back in and Carter puts on a chinlock for a few moments before Anderson kicks away and tags Gunner. He throws Spud at Carter but it turns into a big hug. What else were you expecting? Everything breaks down again with Spud accidentally knocking Carter to the floor, setting up a Mic Check and flying headbutt for the pin at 11:26.

Rating: D. The Spud comedy match is getting played out and it’s gone downhill ever since the first match with Ray. Spud and Carter work well together, but it’s kind of hard to laugh at them after seeing them feuding so heavily over the last few months. The wrestling was an afterthought to the comedy, but it was really just dull outside of a few funny lines from Spud.

Video on Eric Young overcoming people saying he was just a comedy guy and becoming World Champion. He tells a very good story about how surreal it was when the title was presented to him and the adrenaline that flowed through him when reality set in.

As soon as the three count went down, Magnus was immediately thinking about how he could get the title back. He has to get back on the horse.

Magnus vs. Eric Young

Young is back to being goofy and checks the referee for weapons. There’s no opening bell for this match. After a forty second long crisscross, Young holds onto the ropes and Magnus keeps running. Oh yeah we’re in a comedy match. Young takes him down into a headlock and is so pleased with it that he does it two more times in a row. Magnus tries a waistlock but gets sent to the floor in frustration. He counters Eric’s baseball slide by catching him under the ring skirt and hammers away to take over.

Back in and a knee to Eric’s ribs sets up the chinlock. An elbow to the back has Young in trouble but he’s able to strut down the apron. Magnus, apparently not a Flair fan, puts on the sleeper before switching it up to a chinlock. A belly to back suplex finally gets Young out of the hold and a belly to belly gets two on Magnus. They trade rollups for two each before Magnus puts him on top, only to have his superplex broken up. Young drops the top rope elbow for two but Eric’s piledriver is good for the pin at 11:31.

Rating: D-. We went from lame comedy to a long series of chinlocks before getting to the finish where a guy that gets on my nerves wins. This was the weakest match they’ve had all night but it was more due to how it felt like they weren’t trying. Unfortunately that’s the case with most of the matches on these shows and it gets tiring in a hurry.

We look at the history between Bram and Abyss, focusing on all of their violent matches, primarily Monster’s Ball.

Abyss vs. Bram

Bram grabs the mic and says Abyss is lucky this is a normal match. Abyss says he’s the 6’8 350lb weapon of mass destruction and wants to make this Monster’s Ball, which is reluctantly accepted. The bell rings and we’re already bringing in the weapons. They slug it out on the floor with Bram slowly sending him into the post. Abyss reverses a whip to send Bram much harder into the steps. More weapons are brought in as this is strictly following Monster’s Ball procedure.

Abyss knocks a chair out of Bram’s hands and nails him in the ribs with a kendo stick. Bram cracks him over the head with a trashcan and it’s table time. I’m so glad all these weapons were under the ring just in case a Monster’s Ball match was signed on the fly. The table is set up in the corner but Abyss would rather hit Bram with a chair than send him through the wood. Bram blocks a running Earthquake splash by raising a chair and both guys are down.

The monster gets busted open by a few chain shots but he low blows Bram to knock the pry bar out of his hand. Of course, this warrants a discussion of basketball. Janice is brought in but Bram hits the worst looking spear into a table I’ve ever seen. The table gives a bit but doesn’t break and Abyss is up at two. Back up and Abyss sends him head first into a chair in the corner but a chokeslam sends Bram out to the floor. Back in and Abyss loads up a Janice shot but gets rolled up with Bram grabbing the ropes for the pin at 10:57.

Rating: D+. This was every Monster’s Ball match you’ve seen in the last few years but toned down a bit. Much like the Knockouts match earlier, I’ve seen these two fight time after time in hardcore match after hardcore match and I really don’t need to see it again. Nothing to see here and it’s another match of the same length keeping the show at the same dull pace.

We recap Roode vs. Storm, which you should know by now. They were friends, the World Title split them up, they’ve feuded over and over and over again since.

Storm says he doesn’t care what the fans think while Roode dies on every word they say. I don’t think they’ve ever had Storm as the heel in this feud.

Bobby Roode vs. James Storm

Before the match, Storm has a mic in his hand. Tenay: “Something tells me we’re going to hear from James Storm.” James doesn’t want to fight because Roode can see the light and be part of the Revolution. Storm won’t die for a brotherhood, but he’ll live for a revolution. This doesn’t sit well with Roode, who says Storm isn’t the same man that he knew back in the Beer Money days. The answer is no so Storm decks him with the microphone and we’re off to a fast start. Also, the referee is fine with Storm hitting Roode with a foreign object before the bell.

Roode fights back and clotheslines Storm to the floor before hitting another on the outside. There’s a drink to Storm’s head and a knee drop gets two back inside. Storm tries to play some mind games and the distraction lets him send Roode right back to the floor. That goes nowhere so we hit the chinlock as the match slows down again. A low DDT gets two more for Storm but Roode sends him into the buckle to get a breather.

The Blockbuster only gets two and Roode escapes the Eye of the Storm for good measure. Storm kicks out of a spinebuster and dives off the middle rope for a Codebreaker. Instead of covering off a good looking move, he misses the Last Call and has to get out of the Roode Bomb. Now the Eye of the Storm connects for two but the referee takes the bottle away. Storm misses another Last Call and the Roode Bomb is good for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C. I know this is one of the biggest feuds in the history of TNA but COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW! How many times do I have to sit through the same missed finishers and a beer bottle playing into the finish? It was one match over three years ago and they’ve used that exact same idea time after time now with the same two guys and almost always the same ending. Either stop having them fight or come up with a new formula. And can Storm win one for a change? Other than Bound For Glory, I don’t ever remember him beating Roode. They’ve fought four times at One Night Only alone and Roode is 4-0.

Jeff Hardy’s turning point was beating Austin Aries at Bound For Glory 2012.

MVP praises Jeff Hardy (because everyone in TNA respects everyone else. You almost never hear a promo without someone praising their opponent. Give us some more hatred.) but says he owns both Hardys. Jeff has had his ups and downs, his turning points if you will, but tonight Jeff is taking a turn for the worse.

We get a clip of MVP turning heel by attacking MVP and becoming yet another corrupt authority figure.

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

JB does big match intros and calls this the Turning Point main event of the evening twice. MVP bails to the floor just after the bell to put JB in charge of the jewelry. After a minute on the floor (and somehow not even a one count from the referee), MVP heads back to the apron for more stalling. Jeff starts clapping and they lock up nearly two minutes in. A headlock has MVP in trouble but he shoulders Jeff down with ease.

The threat of a Twist of Fate sends MVP bailing again. He back in and goes back out again to make the fans hate him even more. Hardy won’t let MVP leave and takes him out with a big dive to try to wake the fans up. Back in and Jeff gets crotched going for the Whisper in the Wind, sending him out to the floor for a change. MVP sends him into the barricade a few times and Hebner is more than willing to count Jeff. Racist.

Back in and a big boot gets two for MVP and he follows up with right hands. We hit the chinlock because what else would you expect them to do? The Ballin Elbow gets two, likely because it’s just an elbow drop. Jeff starts his comeback and gets two of his own off a basement dropkick. The Whisper in the Wind gets the same but MVP counters the Twist of Fate into the Playmaker for another near fall. He tries the same move but this time Jeff counters into the Twist, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 16:05.

Rating: C. The problem here is there’s no reason for these two to be fighting, and a match based around MVP stalling for five minutes isn’t really going to get the job done. It’s certainly not bad and the ending sequence was pretty good, but there’s nothing here worth going out of your way to see. I know I’ve said that several times but it’s the only thing that keeps sticking out to me.

Celebrating and a highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: D. That highlight package was very telling. By the time I was done with this show, I had already forgotten a lot of the earlier matches on the card. That really shouldn’t be happening on a show that doesn’t even make two hours and forty five minutes. The wrestling is mostly acceptable here and the show isn’t the worst, but there’s no reason to want to watch it. That’s the case with so many of these shows: they’re clearly just filling in contractual requirements and the lack of effort and story really drags these things down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

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One of the most common complaints wrestling fans have today is how much content there is to watch.  WWE alone has at least seven hours of wrestling TV a week.  For over twenty years, we’ve gotten used to wrestling airing every Monday night with some of the biggest stars in the sport squaring off.  However, things weren’t always the same.  Back in the 1980’s, wrestling television was based around the idea of squash matches.  Most shows featured a big name against an unknown and matches against other stars were almost unheard of.

Things began to change in 1985.  Powered by the strength of Wrestlemania and Hulkamania, the WWF was able to air a series of specials on NBC, featuring matches between big name stars and even title matches, all for free.  The shows were major successes and helped push the company into their golden era, sending professional wrestling to heights no one had ever seen possible.

In this book, I’ll be looking at all thirty six episodes of the series, as well as the five Main Event specials, breaking down every match, segment and show as a whole.  As usual I’ll be providing play by play, historical context and analysis of every show.  The reviews are all new and never before seen.

The books runs over 300 pages on a Kindle and only costs $3.99, or the equivalent in other currencies. If you don’t have a Kindle or e-book reader, there are several FREE apps you can use to read it on pretty much any electronic device. You can find those from Amazon here.

You can pick up the book from Amazon here.

From the UK Amazon here.

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Or if you’re in another country with its own Amazon page, just search “KB’ Saturday” and my book will be the first thing that pop up.

Also you can still get any of my previous books on the WWE Championship, Monday Night Raw from 1998 and 2001, Monday Nitro from 1995-97, In Your House, Summerslam, Starrcade, ECW Pay Per Views, Royal Rumble and Clash of the Champions at my author’s page here.

I hope you like it and shoot me any questions you might have.

KB

Smackdown
Date: January 15, 2015
Location: Baton Rouge River Center, Baton Rouge, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton

Smackdown is back on Thursday nights in its original time slot, which might mean WWE will put a fresh focus on it instead of just using it as a dumping ground for whatever they can’t fit on Raw. The big story tonight is Daniel Bryan’s return to the ring for the first time since his neck surgery in May. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Daniel Bryan (with a fresh set of name graphics) for an in ring chat. Daniel says he should be in good spirits because he’s back home where he belongs, in front of these great people, wearing his gear and ready to fight. Saxton shows him a clip of Kane tombstoning Bryan on everything he could find and Bryan looks a bit shaken. He talks about being Kane’s partner and brother, but then Kane stabbed everyone in the back by trading in the mask for a suit.

Doctor after doctor has told him that he would never wrestle again but now he’s ready. Of course he’s worried about his neck but tonight he’s going to prove himself by fighting Kane, winning the Royal Rumble and then getting his title back at Wrestlemania. Now some people think that’s just a pipe dream, but YES he thinks he can do it. This brings out the Authority who actually doesn’t have anything to say before the match starts.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Bryan charges right at him to start but Kane takes him down with a single forearm to the back. They head to the corner where Bryan smartens up and goes after the knee. As usual though, Kane doesn’t seem interested in selling and takes Daniel down with a pair of neckbreakers. A cravate doesn’t last long so Kane kicks him in the head for two. I know I rip on Kane a lot but at least he’s smart enough to go after the obvious body part. A neck crank has Bryan in even more trouble but he’s able to kick Kane to the floor.

Kane is staggered up against the barricade but not staggered enough to let Bryan hit a flying knee from the apron as he punches Daniel out of the air. Back from a break with Kane holding a chinlock, followed by a running DDT for two. Off to the chinlock as the Authority plays cheerleader. For some reason the Noble seems like he would be very enthusiastic in that role. Kane loads up a superplex but gets shoved down and dropkicked for two. The kicks to the chest get the same but the Stooges come in to break up the YES Lock for the DQ at 11:41.

Rating: C-. If there isn’t something else later in the night, I’m sending WWE a bill for the injuries suffered from my eyes rolling that hard. There is no way WWE doesn’t let Bryan get a clean win in his big comeback match against Kane. Bryan looked fine but there’s only so much you can tell in a match that didn’t even get eight minutes of TV time. I did like Kane going after the neck and setting up the tombstone. It never ceases to amaze me when you have someone coming back off an injury and their opponent goes after a different body part. Even Shawn did that once when HHH had a bandaged leg.

Bryan fights back and finally runs away from the numbers advantage. The Authority stays after him but Reigns and Ambrose come out to stand next to them. HHH makes a six man with those three against Kane, Big Show and Rollins later tonight.

Randy Savage Hall of Fame video. I’m very worried about Hogan turning the induction speech into a way to talk about how great he was.

Bray Wyatt is not a human being but for thousands of years, society has labeled people like him a threat. At some point, his poison starts to seep out of the cracks. All those people over the years have been right, and it’s going to be too late to run after he wins the Royal Rumble.

Usos/Naomi vs. Damien Mizdow/Miz/Alicia Fox

Miz/Mizdow vs. Usos for the titles is official for the Rumble. Mizdow gets a huge ovation as he’s on the apron and watching Miz start with Jimmy. The brothers elbow Miz down for the double team elbow, followed by a nice suicide dive from Jey. Mizdow finally gets the tag but Fox tags herself in. That’s fine with Naomi, who goes off on Fox for taking her spot on Total Divas. Pay no attention to Naomi still being on the show of course. A cross body gets two on Fox and it’s already back to Miz vs. Jimmy.

The Reality Check is broken up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The ice cold tag brings in Jey for a Samoan drop, followed by a Whisper in the Wind. Fox makes the save, only to have Jimmy throw Naomi at her for a cool looking spot. Mizdow tries to come in but takes a superkick to the hands (clearly didn’t get close to his face). The distraction works though, allowing Miz to hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin on Jimmy at 4:50.

Rating: D+. Cool Naomi throwing spot aside, this feud is really getting dry. The Naomi Goes Hollywood part has been completely dropped, which you almost had to expect because it was actually interesting. That basically leaves Miz fighting the Usos in a handicap feud as we wait on Mizdow to finally break off on his own, even though they passed his peak about a month ago. At least the girls were there to keep this from being the champions losing in another non-title match.

Roman Reigns is with Renee Young (who has chopped off a lot of her hair) and says his partners would be in big trouble if this was the Royal Rumble. However, Dean is his boy and he has no issue with Bryan. On the other hand, he has a problem with the Authority and their giant crybaby Big Show. When it comes to the Royal Rumble, it’s one vs. all. Dean and Bryan are part of the all, and that leaves him as the one. This felt a lot more natural from Reigns and it worked better than his usual stuff. The lack of fairy tales or Looney Tunes lines helped too.

Here’s a ticked off Heyman with something to say. We look back at Rollins laying out Lesnar to end Raw and standing tall over the champion. Heyman says he’s afraid for the first time because there’s a threat to Lesnar. Brock has conquered everyone and everything because he can. When he beat up the Undertaker and broke the Streak or suplexed John Cena 16 times, it was all because he could and felt like doing it because he didn’t have anything else to do on a Sunday night.

Now his purpose is to F5 the future of the WWE back into the past, but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt. Seth is sick and tired of hearing about how awesome Brock Lesnar is and accusing him of hiding behind the Authority. He isn’t afraid of Brock Lesnar and is going to cash in right now. Let’s give the fans a treat for the show being back on Thursdays and have Brock Lesnar vs. Seth Rollins right now….but Brock isn’t here.

Rollins isn’t cool with that and threatens to curb stomp Heyman if he can’t curb stomp Lesnar. Heyman tells Rollins to be original because everyone threatens to beat him up when Lesnar isn’t around. Seth is right in his face and says he’s going to curb stomp Heyman and take away Lesnar’s greatest asset. Then at the Royal Rumble, it’s Rollins vs. all brawn and no brains, leaving Brock as nothing more than a 300lb mass of muscle that he can run circles around.

The facts are that he’s curb stomped Lesnar twice now and he’s going to do it again at the Royal Rumble, so why shouldn’t he knock Heyman out right now? Paul says the Authority has been removed from power once so what makes Rollins think they can’t be removed again by hook, crook, or by Vince McMahon’s whims?

He’s gained power every single day since he returned to the WWE and been by Brock Lesnar’s side. Brock Lesnar has a death grip on the WWE Championship and he will control it as long as he likes. He can control that title by either defending the title or protecting the new champion when Heyman decides that the future is now. Paul drops the mic and leaves Rollins with a lot to think about.

This story has gone from another dull title match to one of the better stories around the title in a good while. Rollins is looking like a monster on equal footing with Lesnar and Cena in the span of a week. There’s always the chance that this is the annual Royal Rumble challenger who goes nowhere after, but I’m totally buying into Rollins as a main event player. After the year he’s had, there’s a real argument to be made for him to win the title and defend it at Wrestlemania. I’d love to see him stop being the Authority’s lap dog if nothing else.

Natalya vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title and Paige is here to counteract Brie. Natalya goes for the leg to start but gets taken down by a flying armbar of all things. She actually stays on the arm instead of yelling at the crowd but Natalya lifts Nikki into the air to break up a short arm scissors. Back up and Natalya steps onto Nikki’s back before to drive her face first into the mat, followed by a running dropkick to the face.

Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, accidentally allowing Paige to slap Nikki. I’m sure they’ll argue about it and then forget it a month later with no resolution. The Sharpshooter makes Nikki tap at 2:40. This would be their third match since December 29 now. Well that settles it. We MUST continue this feud at the Rumble. I for one couldn’t survive without the thrilling end to this saga.

Big Show cuts Renee off and brags about knocking out Cena and Reigns this past Monday. Tonight he’ll knock out all three but more importantly he’s entering the Royal Rumble. That’s where he dominates because no one can throw him over the top. Kane comes up and says he’s in the Rumble as well.

Intercontinental Title: Sin Cara vs. Bad News Barrett

Rematch after last week where Sin Cara beat Barrett in a non-title match. Cara gets two off a rollup just after the bell and hits an enziguri from the apron to stagger Bad News. Barrett has had enough of that though and hammers Cara down before whipping him hard into the corner for two.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Cara hits a springboard spinning cross body for two. The announcers actually bring up Barrett’s past troubles against Cara for some context. The Winds of Change lays Cara out but the Bull Hammer is countered into a rollup into a powerbomb. Cara misses the Swanton though and the Bull Hammer retains the title at 2:51. I’m so glad they had the champ get pinned clean to set up this epic showdown. To be fair though this was fun while it lasted.

The announcers plug the WWE Network launching in the UK, which went live a few days earlier than planned.

Dean Ambrose is in a dimly lit room and says he was the one you avoided on the playground. His report card always said he was disruptive in class, but that works really well for him in the Royal Rumble. The winner of the match isn’t going to care about friendships or their own well being. Don’t count him out, because you should be counting him in. His partners tonight have one big thing in common: they all detest the Authority.

Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose

Seth and Dean get things going with Ambrose slamming him face first into the buckle. He rips at Seth’s hair and stomps at the ribs before bringing in Reigns for a nice suplex. Roman starts working on the arm but lets Rollins go for a tag to Kane. Reigns throws the big bald around for a bit before tagging Bryan in for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. A big uppercut finally puts Bryan down but Ambrose is right there to stop the Stooges from getting involved.

Everything breaks down in a fight on the floor and the good guys stand tall in the ring (not as tall as Big Show and Kane but still tall) as we take a break. Back with Ambrose stomping Rollins in the corner and hitting his dropkick up against the ropes for two. Seth finally sends him into the corner and ties Dean in the Tree of Woe to work on the injured knee.

Off to Big Show for something like an ankle lock but pushing forward on the shin instead of the foot. Rollins gets two off a running forearm in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Again I wonder why you would do that when you should know it’s going to lead to a comeback. Back to Big Show as the Authority keeps things slow, hopefully leading to the hot tag to Bryan. I’ll settle for one to Reigns as long as we don’t hear another scripted promo.

Show hooks that same leg lock before Kane comes in and keeps up his good psychology by cranking on the knee. Seth comes back in and talks a lot of trash, earning him a slap in the face. The rebound clothesline finally puts Kane down but Rollins breaks up another tag. Dean sends him to the floor but everything breaks down on the floor. With everyone else fighting, Ambrose dives over for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel cleans house and hits the Flying Goat on Kane and a top rope hurricanrana for two on Seth.

Kane comes back in with a chokeslam for two with Reigns having to make the save. Show loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns jumps him to put both guys down. The YES Lock goes on Kane but Rollins makes a save. Dean’s standing elbow takes out Rollins and the Stooges on the floor, leaving Bryan to escape the tombstone and hit the running knee for the pin on Kane at 17:48.

Rating: B+. This got a lot better as things went on and the slow build worked well here. I’m really glad Bryan won in the end and thankfully they kept the focus off Reigns vs. Big Show. At the end of the day, there just isn’t enough interest in that feud to validate giving it the attention here. Ambrose selling a knee injury is a good way to keep him from 100% and makes the losses a bit easier to sit through. Really solid main event here though and a good main event for the first show back on the old night.

Post match HHH comes out and says Bryan’s luck is running out. Next week on Smackdown, Kane is getting a rematch against Bryan and if Kane wins, Daniel is out of the Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The show was good but there’s one thing I liked more than anything (well anything other than the main event): HHH making Kane vs. Bryan for next week. It’s not the biggest match in the world, but it’s a match being announced in advanced for Smackdown with a week’s notice. If you’re lucky you’ll get a match announced four days in advance, but this feels like a match for Smackdown, not a match that happens as a result of something on Raw. It’s like they’re treating Smackdown as a show that matters, even if it’s just a bit at first. That’s something this show has been lacking for years now.

The rest of the show felt like a regular episode, meaning the wrestling was good to decent and mostly skippable. The main event was really good though and worth seeing, but most important of all is how they put a match on this show that people would want to see and it was given the time to stand out. If this were on Raw, they would have had to squeeze it in around a twenty minute promo, the New Day and Adam Rose beating up the Bunny for the 19^th time. Hopefully Smackdown gets some more attention and is able to take some of the pressure off Raw, which would help both shows and the TV product as a whole.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered

Miz/Damien Mizdow/Alicia Fox b. Usos/Naomi – Skull Crushing Finale to Jimmy

Natalya b. Nikki Bella – Sharpshooter

Bad News Barrett b. Sin Cara – Bull Hammer

Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins – Running knee to Kane

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 2005
Date: January 30, 2005
Location: Save Mart Center, Fresno, California
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Tazz

It’s time for a new set of guys to take their place on top of the company and what better time to do that than at the Rumble? Other than the Rumble, we’ve got the final blowoff of Orton vs. HHH in a feud that still makes me shake my head to this day. Also it’s Big Show vs. JBL vs. Angle for the Smackdown Title in a match that sounds so uninteresting I’d rather watch last year’s show all over again. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is designed like a clock counting down in the Rumble. Cool idea there.

I almost forgot: this is the West Side Rumble, which is actually designed on a theme of West Side Story, as in gangs of Raw and Smackdown guys snapping their fingers and singing. Remember that THIS was considered the best idea and that someone received a paycheck for doing this. Let that sink in when you’re unemployed next time.

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Edge is mad that he didn’t get the title shot at Taboo Tuesday and is finally turning heel, which he would be for years to come. Edge jumps Shawn before Shawn can take off his vest, only to get sent back to the floor by Shawn. Back in and Shawn chops away in the corner but Edge comes back with a swinging neckbreaker to take over. Edge is embracing the evil here and pokes Shawn in the eye but it only ticks Shawn off, resulting in a Thesz Press by Shawn.

The Canadian is sent back to the floor but he catches Shawn in an Edge-O-Matic to take over again. A baseball slide keeps Shawn down and we head back inside. The fans are firmly behind Shawn here, which means the heel turn is working for Edge. Shawn tries a standing rana but gets caught in a powerbomb for two instead. Off to a rear naked choke from Edge which stays on for a good while.

As Shawn fights up, Edge slams him right back down to stop the comeback before doing Shawn’s pose. Shawn gets guillotined on the top but Edge jumps into a punch to the ribs for two. Shawn counters a belly to back suplex into a cross body for two but Edge clotheslines him right back down. We hit the chinlock again although for far less time here. Michaels comes back with an atomic drop and they mistime something pretty badly with Shawn waiting on one side of the ring while Edge stumbles around on the other side.

Anyway Shawn pounds away in the corner and grabs a rollup for two, prompting Edge to try to walk out. The imbecile of a referee holds Shawn back, allowing Edge to sneak up from behind and spear Shawn to the floor. Shawn finally crawls back in and Edge dances a bit. Edge tunes up the band and spears Shawn down for two more, sending Edge into a fit. He pulls his own hair out and does those awesome facials that only Edge can do.

With nothing else to try, Edge puts Shawn on top for a superplex, only to get knocked down for the flying elbow from Shawn. Sweet Chin Music is countered into an electric chair drop for two more and Edge is very frustrated. Edge rolls through a sunset flip into the Edgeucator (imagine a Sharpshooter but with Edge behind Shawn like an ankle lock) but Shawn makes the rope. After a small package gets two for Shawn, Edge reverses a rollup into one of his own and grabs the ropes for the cheap pin.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but at nearly 20 minutes it’s too long. I’m not sure if I like the ending or not either, as Edge cheating shows that he’s embracing the heel turn, but I don’t think cheating and then hitting a move like another spear would have been a bad choice either. Still though, solid way to further Edge’s turn and a very long opener, which isn’t a terrible idea.

Teddy and Eric banter about who is going to win. Apparently we’re doing the old school tumbler thing to draw numbers with. Flair and Eddie come in (Flair hits on Torrie of course) to draw and Flair is very happy with his number. Eddie is disappointed, so he picks Flair’s pocket and steals his number. See, THIS is the kind of stuff we need more of. It enforces Eddie’s character and is funny at the same time, unlike the stupid stuff we get today that doesn’t help anyone.

Heidenreich is panicking about caskets when Snitsky comes up. Heavy breathing ensues and Snitsky says he has an idea.

We recap Heidenreich vs. Undertaker. Basically Heidenreich wants to replace Undertaker is his chance in a casket match. Most people didn’t think much of Heidenreich and they would wind up being proven correct. He would be followed by Great Khali in the long line of strange guys to face Undertaker.

The casket is brought out.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Teddy yells at Eddie to get Flair’s number back. Evolution comes in and a beatdown nearly ensues. Eddie has to give the number back, and he throws in Flair’s wallet too. Batista is going to go draw for the Rumble but HHH wants to talk about the match with Orton. Tensions flare but Flair calms things down. I think I smell a showdown.

Christian is here to draw his number and he’s well pleased. Cena shows up and hits on Christy but Christian isn’t pleased. He says rapping isn’t hard and challenges Cena to a battle rap. Tomko won’t give Christian a beat so he has to go it alone. Christian actually rhymes a bit but can’t rhyme charisma. Cena makes gay jokes and isn’t nearly as funny as Christian.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

This match has a backstory that isn’t important enough to explain to us. Apparently Angle had a last man standing match with JBL but the winner is even less important than the backstory. JBL is defending. Angle bails to the floor to start so Show runs over JBL a few times. There’s the loud chop in the corner followed by a legdrop which finally draws Angle into the ring for a save.

Now it’s Kurt getting a big chop in the corner. Cole says that’s like getting hit in the chest with a skillet. My question continues to be: how does anyone know what that feels like? Is that what goes on at WWE headquarters when there aren’t any shows on? Show clotheslines both guys to the floor to a surprisingly big reaction. Angle tries a German on the floor which fails completely, so Show picks up the steps.

Show loads up the announce table and climbs the steps to chokeslam JBL through said table. Before he can though, Angle hits Show low and blasts him with a monitor, knocking Show through the table. Back inside and Angle puts JBL in an armbar followed by a keylock. Kurt rolls the Germans but walks into a big boot for two. Big Show gets back in and there’s a double clothesline and headbutts all around. He slams Angle onto JBL to a big reaction. When did Big Show get this popular? Both guys get crushed in the corner and another double clothesline puts both guys down.

Show loads up a double chokeslam but the other guys go High/Low to take Show down. Angle Germans JBL down and hits a bad Angle Slam which gives JBL two. There’s a chokeslam to JBL but he gets a foot on the rope. Out to the floor and Show spears JBL through the barricade in his signature spot, putting all three guys down.

Back in and Angle goes after Show with a chair but gets flapjacked face first onto the steel. Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, Angle’s lackeys, come out for the save as JBL’s Cabinet try to wake up the champion. Show beats up Jindrak and Reigns as Orlando Jordan puts JBL in the ring for the Clothesline to pin Angle to retain.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches I was expecting to suck but it wound up being pretty solid. Angle is going to be good no matter what he does and Show had some solid motivation out there for a change. JBL escaping with the title was a recurring theme for nearly a year until he ran into a buzzsaw called John Cena in a few months. Shockingly good match here.

Batista won’t sign Carlito’s petition to get rid of Teddy Long. Carlito loads up the apple, looks at Batista, and swallows. Funny bit.

Batista goes to draw his number and hears Bischoff bar Evolution from ringside for the next match. Big Dave seems very happy to tell HHH.

Long video recapping HHH vs. Orton. They hate each other, Orton was never supposed to get another shot, so tonight he gets another shot.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH is defending. This is when Orton was still young and a not quite plucky face. He punches Orton to the floor and gets two off a dropkick back inside. HHH pounds away in the corner but gets caught in Snake Eyes to stop him cold again. Orton tries the RKO again but gets dumped to the floor, which thankfully doesn’t break his shoulder again. HHH sends him into the steps and heads back in for some knees to Orton’s back.

The Game goes after the taped up knee and wraps it around the post because he can. HHH modifies the cannonball down onto the leg by dropping an elbow instead of sitting on it. After a quick attempt at a small package by Orton, HHH puts on a LONG Figure Four, lasting way longer than almost any other I can remember. Orton finally turns it over, sending HHH retreating to the floor.

Orton sends him over the announce table and pounds away before heading back in for his backbreaker. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Orton as does a regular one. The powerslam by Orton gets two as he doesn’t seem interested in selling the knee at all. HHH counters punching in the corner into an atomic drop to slow things down again. HHH goes up top for no apparent reason and gets armdragged down, allowing Orton to hit a top rope cross body (his old finisher) for two.

Orton counters a Pedigree attempt into a catapult but HHH counters the RKO for at least the third time before hitting the high knee for two. Randy is bleeding from the lip. The Pedigree is escaped again and Orton gets two off a clothesline. The champ rolls to the floor again and gets sent into the steps for trying to hide. Back in and Orton pounds away in the corner, only to miss a DDT attempt and possibly give himself a concussion.

The referee looks at Orton to stall even more, as I think they’re going for some big emotional moment where Orton fights through adversity. HHH charges at Orton and knocks out the referee at the same time. It’s hammer time but HHH misses his charge and hits the post. Back inside and Orton gets the hammer, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline. HHH throws away the hammer and hits the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D+. As usual, these two do not work well together at all. This was one of their worse matches too, as Orton never seemed to have HHH even remotely in danger at all. At the end, HHH had Orton dead to rites for a long time and won clean (he never used the hammer) with a Pedigree. Orton’s face push was killed dead here so he had to turn heel and feud with the Undertaker soon after this. Not a good match and kind of head scratching booking.

Angle literally steals Nunzio’s number and spot in the Rumble.

Teddy tells JBL and company that Jibbles has to defend the title against Big Show in a barbed wire steel cage match at No Way Out.

Royal Rumble

Eddie Guerrero is #1 and Benoit is #2. Dang Benoit is on a run of bad luck in these things. I think we’ve got 90 second intervals again here. Feeling out process to start and they get into a technical standoff of course. Eddie hooks one of the few chinlocks in Rumble history until Daniel Puder, the winner of Tough Enough 4 (beating Mike MIZanin in the finals) is #3. He gets on the mic and says that he’ll be the first Tough Enough Champion to win the Rumble, drawing “are you serious” glares from Benoit and Eddie.

Benoit and Eddie fire off chops in the corner followed by a double suplex because they can. Eddie hits Three Amigos and Hardcore Holly is #4. Holly asks if he can have some fun with Puder and rips some skin off with chops in the corner. Benoit and Eddie get in some chops of their own before Holly kicks Puder low, hits the Alabama Slam, and throws him out. Hurricane is #5 as Guerrero and Benoit dump Holly.

Hurricane gets double teamed but Eddie tries a double cross, only to get chopped for his efforts. Hurricane hits a Blockbuster on Eddie but Benoit chops him down and whips him into Eddie for the elimination. Kenzo Suzuki (one of the most forgettable footnotes in wrestling history) is #6. Just like everyone else, Benoit and Eddie pound on him in the corner with chops and suplexes, but Benoit turns on Eddie ala earlier but only throws him to the apron.

Edge is #7 to a BIG pop. He beats on everyone in sight but gets clotheslined down by Benoit. Rey Mysterio is #8 and my goodness does Suzuki look out of place in there. Thankfully Rey headscissors him out about twenty seconds after entering, getting us down to an AWESOME tag match if they ever got around to doing it. Edge goes after Guerrero and here’s Shelton Benjamin, the current IC Champion and on pure fire at this point, at #9.

There isn’t a bad combination in the ring at the moment. Benoit tries to dump Rey but Eddie tries to put both of them out. Shelton can’t eliminate Edge so he walks into a headscissors from Rey instead. Here’s Booker at #10 to keep the talent level high. Question for discussion: who is the worst worker in the ring at the moment? Here’s Eric Bischoff to cheer on the Raw guys as Benoit puts Eddie in a Boston Crab.

Jericho is #11 to a BIG pop. Teddy Long comes out to cheer as well as various people beat on each other. Luther Reigns is #12 to stop the hot streak dead. With four Raw guys (Benoit, Edge, Jericho and Benjamin) and four Smackdown guys (Booker, Luther, Mysterio and Guerrero), it’s time for a showdown ala the West Side Rumble that the show is based on. That’s a cool idea in theory, but what happened to the “every man for himself” concept?

Muhammad Hassan is #13 and the match stops cold. Everyone surrounds Hassan and the group beatdown is on. The fans REALLY dig this, which says a lot about Hassan’s potential. He was going to win the world title over Batista in Washington DC at Summerslam, but real life issues got in his way. Hassan is out in less than a minute and here’s Orlando Jordan at #14. Tazz says we can compare Jordan to Benjamin. Other than a good look, talent, charisma or fan interest, they are indeed neck and neck.

Scotty 2 Hotty is #15 but Hassan jumps him in the aisle, keeping him from ever getting into the ring. Taker beat him down in the aisle in 2002 also so it’s not the best even for Mr. Hotty. The ring is getting too full now but most of the guys are talented enough that I can live with it. Charlie Haas is #16 and Luther is put out by Booker, as is Jordan. That clears things out a bit. Booker stops for a Spinarooni and charges into a low bridge from Eddie to get rid of him.

Renee Dupree is #17, giving us Benoit, Guerrero, Edge, Mysterio, Haas, Jericho, Benjamin and Dupree. The World’s Greatest Tag Team hits their Shelton jumps over Charlie spot to Renee but Shelton misses a splash in the corner and gets dumped by Edge. Simon Dean is #18 but he stops to do exercises on the floor before getting in. JR goes off on him in a funny bit. Eddie stops to look at him and Edge dumps Guerrero as a result.

Shawn is #19 and superkicks Simon out, doing some Hindu Squats to celebrate. Edge tries to corner Mysterio in a corner. JR: “Makes a lot of sense.” Shawn backdrops Charlie out and Kurt Angle is #20. He hits Angle Slams on everything in sight but tries the ankle lock on Shawn. Michaels rolls through and superkicks Angle out after less than 40 seconds. Coach is #21 and you can hear JR groan. He gets in a single shot on Benoit and runs to hide.

Edge tries to put Mysterio out and here’s Jindrak at #22. Angle comes back in and dumps Michaels before blasting him with the steps and putting him in the ankle lock. I’m thinking we need a masterpiece at Wrestlemania to settle this. Viscera is #23 and he pounds on everyone in sight. Paul London is #24 and nearly slides out of the ring from sliding in so far. Dupree takes him down but stops to dance, allowing Jericho to dump him.

London gets sent to the apron but slides back in as Cena (BIG pop) is #25. He gets in a shot on everyone and backdrops Viscera out. Cena and Benoit slug it out as Snitsky is #26. He’s still something resembling a threat at this point and runs over everyone in sight. London gets knocked to the apron again and hit with a HUGE clothesline for an even bigger backflip off the apron to the floor. That made a lot of highlight reels.

Snitsky and Cena stare each other down and John takes a big boot. Kane is #27 complete with pyro. Tazz: “WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT OVER HERE??? THIS IS NUTS!!!” Chokeslams all around as London is taken out on a stretcher. Jindrak goes out thanks to Kane and Coach of all people tries to avenge him. Batista is #28 and the pop that Cena got looks like a whimper. Snitsky is gone immediately and it’s time for a showdown with Kane. The crowd is WAY into Batista as he powerbombs Kane.

There goes Jericho thanks to Big Dave but Edge hangs on. Christian is #29 and he goes right after Cena. Cena is all like BRING IT ON and stomps Christian down in the corner. Rey hits a 619 on Kane and Cena FU’s the monster out. Flair is #30, giving us a final group of Benoit, Edge, Mysterio, Coach, Cena, Batsita, Christian and Flair. Not bad at all with one exception. Evolution teams up for a spinebuster on Coach for the elimination before doing the same to Christian.

Benoit chops away at Flair but walks into a spinebuster and the elimination by Ric. Flair goes for a toss out of Batista but gets glared at in response. Edge and Mysterio dropkick Batista down and Edge dumps Flair, getting us down to Edge, Mysterio, Cena and Batista. Edge spears Cena and Batista down but Mysterio avoids the one coming at him. There’s a 619 to the Canadian but a springboard legdrop misses and Edge spears Rey out. Edge charges at Cena and we’re down to Cena vs. Batista.

The fans REALLY like this (and they’re in red(ish) and blue to match their brands) and the staredown is on. Cena slaps away (clearly open handed) and tries the FU over the top but Batista blocks it. Dave loads up the Bomb but Cena fights out of it and they head to the ropes where both fall out, seemingly at the same time. Seriously, it’s so close you can’t fairly say one of them went out first.

We have a split decision, so here’s Vince to charge out, slide into the ring….and destroy his knees and rip both of his quadriceps at the exact same time. While Vince sits on the mat (and hopefully doesn’t seeing Batista dying laughing), both guys throw each other out and Vince restarts the match. Why this means we don’t start with Benoit and Guerrero again isn’t explained but it’s spinebuster and elimination for Batista, sending Big Dave to the main event of Wrestlemania.

Rating: A-. I don’t remember liking this as much the first time around but this was really good stuff. That segment in the first part with all the talent was reminiscent of the 1990 edition where there was a string of incredibly talented guys to start things off. Then things slowed down a bit, but once Cena hit the crowd, who was already red hot all night, got turned up to white levels and things went through the roof. Goofy ending (which wasn’t planned) aside, this was great stuff and a forgotten classic Rumble.

Overall Rating: B. This is a solid show overall with only the casket match being really bad. The Raw Title match isn’t terrible but it’s not worth watching either, especially with Orton’s lack of selling being horrible. Batista and Cena would of course go on to Wrestlemania to win both world titles and dominate the company for years to come, making this a truly game changing show. Good stuff here and certainly worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Edge vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B

Redo: B-

The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Original: D-

Redo: D

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Big Show vs. Kurt Angle

Original: B

Redo: C+

HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: B-

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Like I said, I liked the Rumble a lot more this time around.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/24/royal-rumble-count-up-2005-the-rise-of-the-new-generation/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Why would someone want to do that?Think about it.  In the history of wrestling, when has a chinlock not led to the guy in the hold starting a comeback?  You would think that someone would eventually realize that they don’t do what they’re supposed to do and seem to revive wrestlers more than wearing them down.  I’d love to see a character who picks up on all these things that never work and wrestle a smarter style for lack of a better term.

Looking at what the move back to Thursdays could mean for WWE and make things a lot better.

http://www.wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-wwe-get-smack-back/33234/

NXT
Date: January 14, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Renee Young, Rich Brennan, Alex Riley

It’s the first show on Wednesday nights and we’re starting with a bang as Sami Zayn is giving Adrian Neville his rematch for the NXT Title. Kevin Owens is still lurking around and there’s always a chance he could get involved. We also have the continuing story of crazy Marcus Louis stalking Tyler Breeze. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tyson Kidd vs. Finn Balor

Balor has the full entrance minus the face paint, which is still awesome. On another note, does Charles Robinson age? He looks identical to how he looked back in 1999. Balor starts with a running dropkick at the bell but misses a top rope stomp. That’s fine with Finn as he takes Tyson into the corner for a running basement dropkick, sending Kidd out to the floor. The Irishman follows but gets speared into the barricade for a loud crash. The fans seemed to like that one and I can’t say I disagree.

Kidd has dedicated this match Charlotte. His cat, not the wrestler. Back in and Kidd shouts at Finn to kill him before we take a break. We come back with Kidd catapulting him face first into the bottom buckle for two before we hit a chinlock. A dropkick in the Tree of Woe gets two for Kidd but Balor nails a Pele Kick to get a breather. I’m glad someone in WWE finally started using that move. A running sleeper drop puts Kidd down so he bails to the floor, only to have Balor nail a great flip dive.

Kidd pops back up with a running chest kick from the apron and the springboard elbow drop for two. They’re just beating the heck out of each other here. The Sharpshooter goes on but Finn finally crawls over to the ropes. A slingshot Fameasser misses Balor so he grabs a reverse Impaler, followed by the top rope double stomp to end Kidd 11:55.

Rating: B+. These guys were beating the tar out of each other and it was awesome. Balor has such a presence to him and is more than ready to be on the main roster. Based on that, I’d be surprised if he makes it there in the next year because WWE won’t bring people up to the main show for reasons I don’t understand. Granted the longer he’s here and doesn’t have to get “fixed” by the writers, the better he’s going to be.

Package on Zayn winning the title at R-Evolution minus the post match beatdown. This is all about Neville vs. Zayn.

Bull Dempsey says he’s just as undefeated as Baron Corbin and tonight will be Corbin’s End of Days. The last thing he’s going to hear is BULL BULL BULL.

Baron Corbin vs. Bull Dempsey

The fans start the counting as they hammer away on each other with Bull going down first. Thankfully the fans give up after about twenty seconds and the fight heads outside. Back in and Bull slams him down but misses his flying headbutt. End of Days is good for the pin at 1:36. This was exactly what it needed to be and Baron looked like a monster.

Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch vs. Natalya/Charlotte

Banks’ theme song is rapidly growing on me. Natalya headlocks Becky to the mat to start before getting two off a rollup. Renee tells us about Natalya and Lynch tagging in Japan about nine years ago as the villains are sent to the floor, setting up stereo baseball slides from Natalya and Charlotte. A double delayed suplex gets two on Becky before Charlotte wheelbarrow slams Natalya on top of her for two.

Banks comes in and gets snapmared down, allowing Natalya to step on the back of her head to drive Sasha’s face into the mat, immediately followed by a low dropkick. Sasha pops back up with two knees to the ribs as things FINALLY slow down a bit. The men on the main show can’t keep up a pace like that most of the time. Off to Charlotte for a neckbreaker for two as everything breaks down. Banks hits a neckbreaker of her own on Charlotte and grabs the tights for the pin at 4:20. Banks: “I WON!!!”

Rating: B-. I really wanted more of this as Charlotte and Natalya were looking like a polished team out there while Lynch and Banks have more than enough attitude to carry themselves. I still want to see more from Lynch as she has a great look and persona, but Banks is getting almost all of the spotlight, which she certainly deserves.

NXT Title: Sami Zayn vs. Adrian Neville

Sami is defending. They shake hands to start and Sami scores first with an armdrag. The champ hooks a headlock but charges into an armdrag, sending him out to the floor for a second. Back in and Neville sends him into the corner but gets caught in his third headlock in three minutes. Sami leapfrogs over Adrian and avoids a dropkick, sending Neville into his first frustration of the match.

Adrian slaps him in the face and Neville says he’s sorry. Sami says sorry and forearms him in the face, starting the slugout with Neville getting the better of it and sending the champ to the floor. A big dive puts Sami down again as we take a break. Back with Neville hitting a running uppercut in the corner for two and hooking a hurricanrana for an even closer near fall.

Sami grabs the leg to block the Red Arrow but Neville won’t let him hit the Blue Thunder Bomb. The power of OLE lets Sami force him up on the second try but Neville kicks out again. Zayn rolls some Germans but Neville flips out of a chicken wing/half nelson suplex. Neville cartwheels onto Sami’s shoulders and snaps off one of the hardest hurricanranas you’ll ever see for two. The referee has to check if Sami can continue but he shakes his head yes.

Zayn half pops up into a Koji Clutch attempt but Neville rolls away, only to have to bail outside to avoid the Helluva Kick. Sami loads up the diving DDT through the ropes but Neville superkicks him into a state of shock. Back in and Adrian has to bail out of the Red Arrow but avoids another Helluva Kick into a sweet bridging rollup for two. Sami goes into Beast Mode and grabs the exploder suplex followed by the Helluva Kick for the pin at 13:56.

Rating: A. This was a completely different kind of match than the title change. While that one was about the drama and storytelling, this was about two guys beating the living tar out of each other and actually making me believe the title was in jeopardy. Outstanding match here and both guys come out looking awesome.

Sami celebrates but Owens comes in with a pop up powerbomb and puts his boot on Sami’s face. Owens kicks the title over to Zayns’ head to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This was as good of an hour of wrestling television as I’ve ever seen. Ignoring a 96 second power brawl (which was entertaining as well), the worst match would have been the best Divas match on the main roster in probably six months. Between Balor and Kidd just beating the heck out of each other and Neville and Zayn beating the heck out of each other even harder, I haven’t had this good of a time watching a show since…..oh I’d say the last big NXT show. Go out of your way to see this episode as they debuted on Wednesday with a major bang.

Results

Finn Balor b. Tyson Kidd – Top rope double stomp

Baron Corbin b. Bull Dempsey – End of Days

Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch b. Natalya/Charlotte – Neckbreaker to Charlotte

Sami Zayn b. Adrian Neville – Helluva Kick

Monday Nitro #202
Date: August 23, 1999
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 8,940
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s the KISS show! Yes indeed. After all this time, it’s the most hyped up event WCW has had in months. The band will be performing tonight and this is supposed to be the big weapon to fight back against the fallout from Summerslam 1999. Now to be fair we also have Sting vs. Hulk Hogan for the World Title, which is a major ratings draw. I’m sure that’s why they’re going it for free with one week’s notice instead of at the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Sid’s path of destruction. He’s off to a good start too as he’s basically crushed the cruiserweight division in just a few weeks.

KISS video.

There will be a new WCW President announced soon.

Chase Tatum vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey hammers away in the corner but gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Chase….well I can’t say hits because only one foot connected and it was nothing resembling a dropkick, so we’ll say Chase does a disservice to dropkicks everywhere. Thankfully Mikey hits a decent one….and Sid comes out for the powerbombs.

This time is different though as Sid has a guy with signs, counting up the wins on the streak. He winds up being 68-0 by the end of the segment. The worst part is this could be an interesting story but it’s freaking SID doing this stuff.

Kidman runs into Kimberly in the back and apologizes to her for last week’s issues. Kimberly says she’ll calm Page down.

Goldberg arrives and sees Page attacking Kidman, only to have a staredown with the Triad. I thought he was feuding with Sid.

Here’s the Triad for a chat. Page praises Kanyon for helping train him and says Kidman can’t breathe the same air as Kimberly. He wants Goldberg tonight though, because why bother hyping up a match like that? Page promises to blow the roof off of Goldberg. I’m not sure what that means but I have a feeling it’s going to be a letdown compared to Halloween Havoc from last year.

Sting comes out with something to say. He thanks Hogan for the title shot tonight because he’s back in black. Hasn’t he been in black for like three years now? Cue Lex Luger for the first time in months after that brief return in the spring or whenever it was. Luger talks about Sting being there for him when he was recovering from a motorcycle wreck and how Sting is the bedrock of WCW. Everyone is clapping that the red and yellow is back but Luger isn’t buying Hogan being friends with everyone again. Sting thinks Luger should understand this after 14 years: he’s taking Hogan on no matter what. A handshake ends this worthless return.

Tenay is in the parking lot when Bischoff pulls up in a Hummer. Mike asks if Bischoff is going to be the new President but Bischoff laughs him off and asks if Tenay got that rumor off the internet.

Cat vs. Buff Bagwell

Because this needed a rematch. Feeling out process to start with Buff slamming Cat down and dropkicking him to the floor. Back in and Miller kicks him down before hitting his dancing elbow. To really mix things up, Miller tries another dancing elbow bus misses this time. See, he’s versatile! A low blow puts Bagwell down again and throws him to the floor for some Sonny kicks. This brings out Lex Luger of all people to scare Onoo off, meaning we miss the Blockbuster to give Bagwell the pin. Why can’t Sid come out and powerbomb these guys for a change?

Berlyn is coming.

DJ Ran/Nitro Girls.

Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page

This is quite the first hour main event. Bigelow comes out with a trashcan and the Triad starts triple teaming Goldberg early on, only to have Kanyon get ripped in half by a spear. Bam Bam eats a spear as well, sending Page running off. Goldberg challenges him for next week and there’s no match.

Video for the new West Texas Rednecks song Good Old Boys. It’s Jeff Jarrett’s 1996 music with lyrics, which makes me wonder why they didn’t put Jarrett with the Rednecks when he showed up. If a guy from Minnesota can be from West Texas, why not a guy from Nashville?

Nitro Party video. Those are still a thing?

Cruiserweight Title: Lenny Lane vs. Juventud Guerrera

Lane won the belt last week on Thunder and crawls around on all fours to start, because he’s strange you see. Lenny goes behind him to start and thrusts his hips so Juvy kicks him low, because everything for this character has to be related to sex in some way. Some Lodi interference fails so Juvy dives onto him, only to get taken down by a very nice corkscrew dive from the champ. Back in and Lenny….plays with his pigtails and skips around before covering.

We get the idea already WCW. A pair of shoulder breakers and a powerslam get two for Lenny and it’s time for Lodi to get in some shots. The fans think Lenny is gay, which really is the only thing we know about him so what else are they supposed to chant? He plants Juvy with a running Liger Bomb and celebrates with his brother/lover, drawing a much more offensive chant from the fans. Back up and Juvy hits a quick Juvy Driver and loads up the 450, only to have to dive at Sid for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Stop it, please. I mean that on both counts if that’s not clear. Stop the ridiculous gay story with these two and stop having Sid destroy the cruiserweights because they’re nothing more than target practice. We get the idea, but does he have to beat up former and current champions? You can’t have him beat up jobbers or really low level guys instead? Of course not, because this is WCW where ONLY old heavyweights matter.

Sid is the man, powerbombs a go-go, 71-0, thousands of remotes change the channel.

Here are the Rednecks to perform Good Old Boys live. Hennig takes a few shots at KISS, because they’re trying to turn their stupid musical performances and guests into a story.

Nitro Girls.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn/Shane Douglas vs. Hugh Morrus/Barbarian/Brian Knobbs

Malenko dropkicks Morrus to start, followed by Shane coming in for a double back elbow. It’s quickly off to Barbarian, who charges into a boot in the corner and eats a middle rope clothesline. Since no one can stay in this match for more than thirty seconds, here are Knobbs and Malenko to keep the slow pace going.

We actually stick with Dean getting beaten up for a bit with everyone hitting some clubbing, yes CLUBBING I SAY, forearms to the back. Knobbs dives into a raised boot and the hot tag brings in Saturn. It’s a superkick and t-bone for Knobbs, but Rick Steiner comes in, walks RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE, and bulldogs Saturn to give Knobbs the pin.

Rating: D. So now Steiner is costing the Revolution a match against the First Family. As in the low level stable that should be cannon fodder for Goldberg. I know WCW’s answer is that they gave Benoit the US Title, but do they really need to give the Barbarian and Brian Knobbs a TV win over a team like the Revolution? Again, I’d pay so much to hear them validate this stuff.

Benoit runs out and challenges Steiner for later tonight.

Berlyn is still coming.

Insane Clown Posse vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr.

Shaggy hammers on Kidman to start but eats a dropkick to put him to the floor. A whip into the barricade keeps 2 Dope (I feel so stupid for having to type that) in trouble and it’s off to J. vs. Mysterio. Rey destroys him with ease and hits a quick Bronco Buster on Shaggy, only to get jumped by J. Shaggy gets two off a guillotine legdrop with Kidman making the save. J. heads outside and Rey tries a big flip dive, only to have J. be WAY out of position, leaving Rey to mostly crash. Vampiro breaks up the Shooting Star but Kidman sends Shaggy into Vampiro for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not bad for the most part here and thankfully they didn’t have the Clowns go over the former World Tag Team Champions. This was every major complaint I’ve had about the Clowns wrestling since they debuted and I don’t see it getting better any time soon. Thankfully they kept it short though, which is the best thing you can say about one of these matches.

Eddie comes out for the save.

Here’s Hogan for the big push towards his match with Sting. He doesn’t know why Luger doesn’t trust him and promises to never swerve his family, including Nitro Nick. This was a waste of time.

US Title: Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit is defending, likely because Steiner isn’t even carrying his belt. Well to be fair, it is worthless remember. Rick slugs him down to start but eats a German suplex to put him down. Serves him right for disgracing a title like that. Benoit dives right into another suplex though and Rick starts his choking/raking the face offense.

The champ (as in the guy who actually wears a belt) is sent ribs first into the buckle but gets his boots up in the corner, setting up some Rolling Germans. He heads up top but Steiner pulls him in the way of the Swan Dive, drawing in Saturn to go after Rick. This brings out Sid to lay out Saturn, because cruiserweights just aren’t enough for him anymore. Benoit chases them off and I guess the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. I’m happy whenever I get to see Steiner dropped on his head over and over as I keep hoping it might beat some sense into him. Thank goodness they didn’t make him a double champion here, which was an actual worry I had during this match. Oh and thank goodness Sid is now involved in I think a fourth story because we just weren’t getting enough of him.

Benoit challenges Sid and Steiner to a match against himself and Saturn for Thunder. Two things:

1. That match was already set up on Thunder.

2. That match will be going head to head with the debut of Smackdown, featuring HHH vs. the Rock for the WWF World Title. Therefore, yes, WCW does think that Sid and Steiner are big enough draws to compete with the WWF’s main event guys. I didn’t want to believe it but somehow, that seems to be the case.

Tag Team Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Barry Windham/Kendall Windham

Stevie reiterates his hatred for fruit booties. Harlem Heat is defending and Booker cranks on Kendall’s arm to start. It’s quickly off to Stevie who gets taken into the Windham corner as Heenan seems to think Barry is Bobby Duncum Jr. Booker comes back in for some double team punching to Barry’s head. There is no energy to this match, likely because the Windhams are such heatless challengers.

Stevie clotheslines both rednecks and everything breaks down. The Windhams nail their stable mates by mistake and Booker ax kicks Kendall, followed by the missile dropkick. There’s no referee though Curt comes in with that stupid cowbell and knocks Booker silly to give Kendall the pin and the titles.

Rating: D-. I’m not sure if I hated the match or the booking more. The match was really dull stuff because Barry doesn’t care and Kendall is Kendall. That being said, who thinks this is a good idea? You reform Harlem Heat and have them drop the belts just a few weeks later, of course with Booker taking the pin because we can’t have Stevie get pinned right?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Tony mentions an upcoming search for a new Nitro Girl which will give us a pretty well known blonde. Eddie gets hammered into the corner to start and thrown across the ring with a good looking release belly to belly suplex. Back up and Guerrero just explodes in the corner with chops and punches away. I’m still trying to figure out why these two are fighting. I know they’ve been fighting for weeks now but I have no idea why and commentary is busy hyping up whatever they can think of to talk about instead of talking about the match.

A spinning kick to the chest drops Eddie again but he comes back with a superplex. He loads up the Frog Splash but we’ve got Clowns. Insane ones at that, and Eddie is so annoyed at them being on the show that he slips off the top instead of diving at them. With J. offering a distraction, Vampiro sends Eddie head first into Shaggy for the pin.

Rating: D+. Can you blame Eddie for leaving soon? He comes back from a major car crash that put him out for months and gets to job to Vampiro for the sake of appeasing some niche celebrities like the Insane Clown Posse? The match wasn’t bad with Vampiro, as in the wrestler instead of the wrestling imitators, getting to show his skills, only to have a lame ending with Eddie going down thanks to Shaggy. Yeah, all those years and the classics with Mysterio but he gets to lose to a guy named after a Scooby-Doo character.

Kidman and Mysterio come out for the save.

Nitro Girls.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting

Hogan is defending of course and this means KISS will be main eventing the show. They shake hands to start because these two have never had a single issue ever. Neither guy can get an advantage off a lockup but they shove each other away and start jawing with each other. Hulk (still called Hollywood by Tony) grabs a wristlock but Sting counters into one of his own. They’re mirroring each other very well so far.

A test of strength gives Hogan control but Sting small packages him for two. Sting fires off right hands in the corner but misses the big elbow that always misses. Both guys head outside for a brawl with Hogan being sent onto the announcers’ table. Sting is being way more aggressive here than usual, which would seem like plans for a heel turn. I can’t help but laugh at this, because turning Sting heel would be like trying to make fans boo the Easter Bunny.

They take it back inside and Sting gets two off a Vader Bomb. Somehow Hogan sells it more than he ever did when Vader himself did it back in 1995. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Hogan Hulks Up, only to miss the big leg. The Stinger Splash connects but a second hits boot. The third hits buckle and Hogan is ready to go, only to have Sid and Steiner come in for the DQ.

Rating: C. The worst part of all this is the match was actually getting good (well as good as these two can get in 1999) until the ending. It wasn’t like the match was over and they ran in to prevent the obvious. In theory this sets up a tag match next week, because we haven’t seen enough of those lately.

This brings up the problem at the moment: Goldberg is feuding with Sid (and apparently the Triad), Steiner is feuding with the Revolution and Hogan doesn’t have a big challenger. In theory it would be Sting challenging at the PPV, but that’s what we just saw here. The non-conclusive ending leaves an opening for a rematch, but I’ve never liked a TV match setting up a major pay per view rematch.

Goldberg and Luger come out for the save, because you need four former World Champions to deal with Sid and RICK STEINER. Hogan offers Sting one more title shot, likely at Fall Brawl.

It’s time for the real main event and Tony promises a brand new KISS inspired wrestler debuting before the end of the show. Schiavone is apparently a huge KISS fan and gets to do their introduction, right around the time that HHH is pinning Mankind to become WWF World Champion. They perform God of Thunder and a spiked coffin is brought out on stage. It opens up to reveal…..Brian Adams in KISS attire. I’ve heard this is the lowest drawing segment in Nitro history and the lowest overall rating for the show since a one hour episode in May 1998.

Overall Rating: D. More Sid, more offensive booking, more referees not needing to be there, more focus on celebrities and not wrestling, more hot shotting of big matches, more young guys getting beaten up by old guys that should be jobbers. In other words, it’s everything wrong with WCW rolled up into one show.

Good Old Boys is a really appropriate name for the entire show. It’s all about pushing the guys that used to be big names because screw anyone that wants to get a push around here. I mean, BARRY WINDHAM as a two time champion in 1999? There are a few interesting things here and there, but I have zero desire to sit through all these horrible things to get the glimmer of hope that WCW won’t destroy them all. I know the destruction is coming, but it’s nice to believe that there’s a chance something might get better.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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And no this won’t be a regular thing.Backstage at NXT.

Ric Flair on the phone: “You too baby girl.  See you next week.  Bye bye.”

CJ Parker comes up: “Ric Flair!  My goodness it’s such an honor to meet you!”

Ric is nice and shakes his hand etc.

Parker: “It’s so nice to finally meet a legend who sees things the right way.”

Flair is a bit confused.

Parker: “I never thought I’d meet another Nature Boy.  It’s so good to see that it’s not just the younger generation that sees how important it is to save the planet.”

Ric looks at Parker like he has two heads and walks away.

Parker: “Such an inspiration.” *big smile*

The next week, Parker is talking with someone and brings up Ric.  The other person mentions the limousine riding and jet flying, much to Parker’s chagrin.

The next week, Parker is shown watching Flair matches and promos (on the Network of course) and sees Flair’s wasteful, extravagant lifestyle.

The next week, Parker calls out Ric and rips into him for hurting the planet and only thinking of himself.  Flair comes out and says if Parker doesn’t shut up, he’ll come down to the ring and teach him a lesson.  Charlotte comes out and says her dad can’t do it, but she can.  A referee comes down and Charlotte beats Parker in about fifteen seconds with Natural Selection.

Royal Rumble 2004
Date: January 25, 2004
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,289
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Jonathan Coachman

This is the show where you can really see the next generation rising up. The main events other than the Rumble are Lesnar vs. Holly and HBK vs. HHH. Ok so maybe the next generation only comes up in the Rumble. Other than that we don’t have much going on here but this show is all about Benoit in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about Shawn vs. HHH because that’s what people are watching the ROYAL RUMBLE for right? The theme of the video is that things can change in the blink of an eye.

Raw Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Evolution

Flair and Batista are defending here and this is a tables match. Coach is ticked off at the Dudleys for putting him through a table six nights ago on Raw, because if there’s one man you need to give a reason to be a heel, it’s COACH. Batista makes fun of the Eagles because he hasn’t broken through to the other side of the glass ceiling yet. The fight starts in the aisle as you would expect. This is one table to a finish, meaning only one guy has to go through to end it.

Bubba slides in a table but shoves it hard enough that it slides across the ring and hits Batista in the ribs on the other side of the floor. Flair gets double teamed to start and caught in a powerslam by D-Von. There’s a table set up in the ring but Batista moves it before Flair gets suplexed through it. D-Von hits a Cactus Clothesline on Batista as Flair chops Bubba against a table in the corner.

Big Dave comes back in with some clotheslines to clean house but misses a charge into the post. The belly to back neckbreaker from the Dudleys puts him down and it’s Flair getting double teamed again. According to JR, the Dudleys are the only team to win the (non-vacant) world tag team titles at the Rumble. Coach heads to the ring to distract the Dudleys and prevent a 3D to Flair. Flair saves Coach and Batista hits a spinebuster to put D-Von through a table to retain.

Rating: D. This match fell into the same trap that all bad tables matches fall into: the dull set of spots that fail until one works for the win. You rarely get something that gets around this through sheer carnage such as the match at the 2000 Rumble, but this was just terrible. I have no idea what they were going for here as the fans were disappointed and they only had four and a half minutes to get into it. Also: real smart WWE. This is the right way to start a show in Philadelphia: have some of the most famous ECW guys ever lose.

Cena raps about winning the Rumble when RVD comes in to steal the joke. Weed jokes are made. Josh Matthews looks like the king of all tools here.

There’s an empty seat for Mick Foley in the front row.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Rey is defending. This is during the Nidia is Blind phase which didn’t do anything for anyone. They speed things WAY up to start with Jamie avoiding the 619 and launching Rey into the air to take over. The champ gets draped over the top rope for two and a hard kick to the back gets the same.

Jamie hooks a chinlock which shifts into a seated abdominal stretch. Rey fights up and hits a dropkick and a springboard rana followed by the sitout bulldog for two. He springboards into a gutbuster from Noble for two though and momentum shifts again. Nidia accidentally grabs Noble’s foot, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop…..for the pin? Huh?

Rating: D+. This was fast paced while it lasted, but those three words are the key: while it lasted. This barely broke three minutes which simply isn’t enough for a PPV title match. Unless I was missing it there was no sign of an injury or anything like that, but the match ends that fast. I have no idea what they were going for here but it didn’t work in any way at all. That’s a shame too because they were going well while it lasted.

Noble yells at Nidia post match.

We recap the battle of the Guerreros. Eddie was clearly the bigger star which was fine while they were champions, but once they lost the belts to the Bashams, Chavo blamed Eddie and turned on his uncle for losing his title. The Guerreros almost made up but they lost the rematch, after which Chavo let Eddie get double teamed by the Bashams. This was actually a pretty solid story despite how basic it was. Sometimes less is more. Oh and Kurt Angle was playing peacemaker and Chavo Guerrero Senior is in his son’s corner.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero

Chavo bails to the floor before the bell and the fans are totally behind Eddie here. They fight over a lockup to start with no one being able to get an advantage. Chavo slaps Eddie in the face and now we’re ready to go. We hit the mat for a bit before Eddie starts snapping off chops in the corner. Chavo shoulders him down and we have a standoff. They chop it out again and Eddie goes to the eye like a true Guerrero.

Back to the mat with Eddie working on the arm before Chavo nips up and hooks a rana to send them both to the floor. Chavo sends Eddie into the announce table to finally take over and get some of the aggression going. Back in and they get into a kind of MMA style brawl on the mat until Eddie hooks a cross armbreaker of all things. That goes nowhere so Chavo suplexes Eddie down for two, followed by the Three Amigos. Eddie counters a tornado DDT and hits Three Amigos of his own. Chavo is down so Eddie goes up and hits the Frog Splash for the pin. ANOTHER quick ending tonight.

Rating: C+. This was way better than the other matches, but this felt like it was missing fifteen minutes or so. Three matches so far have combined to be about fifteen minutes long which is pretty lame for a modern PPV, even for the Rumble. This could have been a lot more, but the feud was completely done after tonight. Eddie would become #1 contender on the following Smackdown.

Eddie destroys Chavo post match in a pretty heelish display. Chavo gets busted open.

Ad for Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses. That’s the most entertaining part of the show so far.

Benoit likes his odds even though he’s #1 in the Rumble. Evolution comes up and says Orton is going to win the Rumble. Flair says Benoit may be great, but this is about Evolution tonight.

We recap Hardcore Holly vs. Lesnar. Brock broke Holly’s neck (legit) and Holly gets a world title shot out of it a year later. This is the textbook definition of the Rumble title shot where no one buys the champion as being in any danger whatsoever.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

We recap HHH vs. HBK which is allegedly seven years in the making. I’m guessing THIS is supposed to be the FINAL blowoff to their feud instead of the classic in 2002.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. HHH

HHH is defending and this is a last man standing match. They chop it out to start and punch each other in the corner a lot. Shawn tries a backslide before realizing that makes no sense here, so it’s back to the chops. Michaels gets caught in a facebuster as things slow down a bit. A HARD whip into the corner has Shawn’s back in trouble and a backbreaker makes it even worse.

Out of nowhere Shawn takes out the leg and hooks a Figure Four, because where would we be without a Flair tribute? That gets a five count so Shawn hits a chop block for a four. HHH low bridges Shawn and we head to the floor for a bit. HHH loads up the announce table but Shawn blocks a Pedigree attempt. They slug it out on the table with HHH getting knocked to the floor, drawing a bunch of booing from the bloodthirsty Philadelphia fans.

Back in and Shawn counters a Pedigree with a backdrop to the floor but he injures his back in the process. Shawn tries a springboard cross body to the floor but crashes through the table instead as only he can. Instead of letting the now busted open Shawn get counted out, HHH throws him back in for the count, which reaches seven. The champ pounds Shawn down a few times for a few counts, most of which don’t get that far.

A fast spinebuster (literally, as Shawn was flying at HHH and it almost looked like a belly to belly instead of a spinebuster) gets about six. That’s the problem with most last man standing matches: it’s a big move then standing around for the count. That makes it very hard to get any kind of flow going to the match. HHH cracks Shawn in the back with a chair but Shawn gets up again. A Pedigree onto the chair is countered into a slingshot into the post, busting HHH open as well.

Now Shawn cracks HHH in the head with a chair, allowing HHH to do his weird “my head hurts and I’m not sure where I am” face. There’s the forearm followed by the nipup from Shawn, followed by an atomic drop and the top rope elbow. That gets about seven so Shawn tunes up the band, only to walk into a low blow to put both guys down. Shawn hooks a sleeper which eventually gets an eight count before walking into a DDT to put both guys down.

That gets a double eight count before we head to the corner. HHH tries a belly to back superplex but Shawn counters into a cross body for another double eight count. The Pedigree hits but it’s only good for a nine. Shawn pops up out of nowhere with some more Sweet Chin Music, putting both guys down for ten which keeps the title on HHH.

Rating: C-. The problem here is exactly what I said earlier: this was a lot of lying around. The last seven minutes or so had about five moves combined, as most of the match was “move, lay down, move, lay down, move, lay down.” The idea is supposed to be a ton of drama, but that didn’t happen here. Shawn would turn into a jerk in the next few weeks and insert himself in the Mania main event because of this ending.

Rumble video with a focus on Benoit.

The Fink is ready to start the Rumble but here’s Bischoff to run his mouth. He says that a Raw guy is going to win the Rumble because he’s respected as a GM. He runs down ECW, which brings out Heyman for a brawl. Cue Austin on his ATV to say that these two are both in violation of the law (he was called Sheriff Austin at this point) and wants to know who started it. Heyman and Bischoff: “HE DID!” Both guys get Stunners and the fans love it.

Goldberg, #30 in the Rumble, doesn’t get to talk because Lesnar comes in to interrupt him. Lesnar is called a coward, which will come into play later.

JR has to admit Foley is a coward because he isn’t here yet.

Royal Rumble

Benoit is #1 and the Intercontinental Champion Randy Orton is #2. Two minute intervals here again. They pound away on each other to start with Benoit taking him to the mat to stomp away. Mark Henry is #3 when he was a fat power guy with no direction at all. Allow me to be more specific: he’s still with Teddy Long. Benoit gets double teamed for awhile until Tajiri is #4. These intervals don’t seem to be two minutes or anywhere close to it.

The handspring elbow takes Orton down but Benoit rolls some Germans on Tajiri to take him down. Tajiri only gets two as I guess Benoit is conserving strength. Henry throws Orton to the apron but stops looking like an idiot. Bradshaw is #5 and he immediately clotheslines down everyone not named Benoit. Benoit takes offense to being left out and puts Bradshaw in the Crossface before pulling Bradshaw out. Eh he would get a nine month title reign stating in the summer so I feel no sympathy for him.

Rhyno is #6 as we’re flying through this so far. He goes after the two starters as Tajiri fires off kicks on Henry. Tajiri gets a half Tarantula on Henry but Henry gets Gored, knocking Tajiri out in the process. Benoit clotheslines Henry out and we’re down to three again. Matt Hardy is #7 and Benoit throws him to the apron almost immediately. In FAR less than two minutes, here’s Scott Steiner at #8. Oh dear it’s Scott Steiner at the Royal Rumble. This could be a disaster.

He starts firing off suplexes immediately but at least this time there are some t-bones to go with the belly to bellies. Benoit rolls some Germans on him as if to say THIS IS HOW YOU SUPLEX SOMEBODY. Things slow down a bit and here’s Matt Morgan at #9. He takes Benoit down with a Batista Bomb takes Benoit down and pounds away on Orton in the corner.

The Hurricane is #10 and comes in off the top with a cross body to Hardy. He goes after Morgan for no apparent reason and is thrown out in less than twenty seconds. Morgan throws Hardy to the apron again but can’t get him out. Booker T, complete with the stupid remix of his theme music with Booker singing, is #11. Booker immediately goes after Steiner in a revisiting of their WCW feud that no one was asking for.

Nothing of note happens until Kane is #12. This is after he buried Taker alive. For the first time. Steiner gets dumped by Booker during Kane’s entrance. Kane starts firing off chokeslams and other various power moves for which he is well known. The clock runs down at #13 and there go the lights. A gong goes off and Kane PANICS. Booker uses the distraction to dump Kane and here’s Spike Dudley at #13. He never makes it to the ring as Kane destroys him for setting off the gong.

Everyone tries to throw each other out while laying on the ropes until Rikishi is #14. Benoit dumps Rhyno to keep us at six people (Benoit, Orton, Rikishi, Booker, Morgan, Hardy) in the ring. Morgan gets a Stinkface and nothing else happens for a bit. Renee Dupree with the French Tickler is #15. In a surprising moment, Dupree actually knocks Matt out, only to be superkicked out by Rikishi a second later.

A-Train is #16 and goes right for Rikishi. Benoit avoids the yet to be named Carbon Footprint and dumps Morgan. I love that they’re keeping the ring from getting full. Orton dumps Rikishi and Booker as Shelton Benjamin is #17. Benoit dumps A-Train during his entrance and Orton dumps Shelton a few seconds later to get us back to two. Orton pounds on him a bit but they crack heads to put both guys down.

Lamont, the announcer for Ernest Miller (complete with the music that would go to Brodus Clay eight years later), runs out to introduce the Cat at #18. After some dancing (and singing by Tazz), Orton dumps him out. Miller would be released in like two weeks. Kurt Angle is #19 and he might be a bit harder to get out. He’s fighting for AMERICA here so the fans tell him he sucks.

Benoit and Angle destroy each other with chops and punches as only they can while Orton is content to chill in the corner. Rico, now in his Adrian Street phase, is #20. He fires off some kicks but lasts about as long as you would expect him to in a match with Orton, Angle and Benoit. The RKO takes care of Rico as Benoit rolls a ton of Germans on Angle. Test is #21…..and is nowhere in sight.

Orton RKO’s Angle and we cut to the back to see Test unconscious. Austin sees someone off camera and says they’re #21. The off camera man and presumable attacker: MICK FREAKING FOLEY! Orton, the guy who spat in Foley’s face and called him a coward, PANICS. The place goes nuts and Foley explodes on Orton, beating him half to death and hitting a Cactus Clothesline to put both of them out. This would lead to some AWESOME matches at Mania and Backlash which put Orton up to the world title in August.

Foley keeps beating on Orton as Christian is #22. Mick picks up the steps and BLASTS a security guy who tries to stop him. Orton comes back with two chair shots and fires back at Mick. They brawl up the ramp and Foley pulls out Socko, only to put it on Nunzio who comes in at #23. We haven’t seen anything of the match for a while but I can live with that for a hot brawl like this. Orton kicks Foley low and runs as we go back to the ring.

Angle is getting double teamed as Nunzio is down on the floor. Big Show is #24 and apparently that’s Tazz’s pick. Thankfully he’s in the singlet and shorts again instead of the one piece swimsuit. Angle immediately goes after him but Show throws everyone around. Jericho is #25 as he’s in a weird phase of his career. He wasn’t a main event guy anymore but he had feuded with everyone in the midcard already so he just kind of hung around and filled in spots on the card.

All four guys go after Big Show (who has a head like a typewriter according to Tazz) but they can’t get him out. Charlie Haas is #26 but gets double teamed by Jericho and Christian. Currently we have Benoit, Angle, Jericho, Christian, Haas, Big Show and Nunzio who is on the floor. Jericho backdrops Christian out for the second year in a row as Billy Gunn is #27. Apparently this is a return for him. It’s Fameassers all around and then things slow down again.

John Cena is #28 and that pop is growing at an alarming rate. Show stares him down so Cena throws Nunzio in to kill some time. Nunzio goes after Show for some reason but Cena takes over for him to make it fair. RVD is #29 to a big pop of his own. It’s spin kicks all around until things settle down a bit. There’s an FU to Angle and Goldberg is #30. The final group: Benoit, Angle, Big Show, Jericho, Nunzio, Haas, Gunn, Cena, RVD and Goldberg. At least the ring didn’t fill up until the end so that’s not too bad.

Goldie spears a lot of people down to start before Nunzio jumps on his back like an idiot. Haas is put out and Nunzio takes a HUGE spear. Gunn is out as is Nunzio to get us down to seven. Goldberg loads up a Jackhammer on Show but Lesnar runs in with an F5 to break it up. Goldberg stares down Brock, allowing Angle to dump him out. All five remaining guys not named Big Show go after the one named Big Show but it still doesn’t work.

Everyone hits their finishers on Show instead with Cena (Show’s feud at the time) hitting the Shuffle instead of the FU, which I’m assuming they were saving for Mania. They try to dead lift Show and realize they screwed up by knocking a giant unconscious. Show shoves them all off and dumps Cena followed by Van Dam a few seconds later.

So it’s Big Show, Benoit, Angle and Jericho as the final four. Jericho gets sent to the apron twice and manages to hang on before bulldogging Show down. The Walls go on Show and he taps but Angle breaks the hold up for no apparent reason. Show chokeslams Benoit down but chokeslams Jericho even further, sending him to the floor to get us to three. A side slam puts Angle down and there’s another chokeslam to Benoit.

Show breaks up a German attempt from Angle but can’t block an Angle Slam. There’s a Slam to Benoit (it was a belly to back suplex but whatever) and the ankle lock to Show. Show taps again, but again it doesn’t mean anything. The big guy rolls through the hold and eliminates Angle in the process, getting us down to two.

Benoit dropkicks Show but knocks him back into the ring by mistake. A chokeslam is countered into the Crossface and Show taps again, but you know the drill by now. Show shrugs it off and picks Benoit up in a chokeslam. Benoit grabs a front chancery though and pulls Show to the apron….then has him teetering on the ropes…..AND BENOIT WINS! The crowd kept getting louder as Benoit pulled further and further. Awesome sequence there.

Rating: A. There were some slow spots but this was ALL about Benoit and I can’t complain about that at all. The ending sequence here with all three submission guys making Show tap was a cool idea and different from the ending to any other Rumble. They didn’t throw a stupid curve here and made Benoit look like a star here, which is exactly what he was supposed to do. Great Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The Rumble is really REALLY good but the rest is horrible. Don’t watch the rest of the show, but if you’re a Benoit fan and can still sit through a long match of his, this is absolutely required viewing. Things would change a bit more the next year as two REALLY big names would be the stars of the Rumble, but that’s not for another year. For now, this was all about Benoit and he nailed it.

Ratings Comparison

Evolution vs. Dudley Boys

Original: C

Redo: D

Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble

Original: N/A

Redo: D+

Chavo Guerrero vs. Eddie Guerero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Original: D-

Redo: D

HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Royal Rumble

Original: A

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Just as last time, the Rumble is the only thing worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/23/royal-rumble-count-up-2004-he-who-must-not-be-named/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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