Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania VII: Ultimate Warrior Has A Classic

Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Gorilla Monsoon

Oh boy has a lot of stuff changed here. First of all, Jesse is gone from the company and is being replaced by a revolving door of replacements. Other than that we’ve got Sgt. Slaughter as an anti-American world champion who needs a REAL AMERICAN to save the title for the country. There’s also a retirement match here between Randy Savage and Ultimate Warrior, which might actually be better than Warrior’s title win last year. Oh and there’s this big guy in black that is making his Wrestlemania debut tonight. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Hogan saving AMERICA, which is what the entire show is about. I believe the subtitle of this show is Stars and Stripes Forever, so if you can’t figure out what the ending is going to be, I can’t help you. Keep in mind that this was inspired by the Gulf War….which was already over but who cares about technicalities like that?

Willie Nelson sings America the Beautiful.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan is dressed like a drunk Uncle Sam and comes out for commentary for the opening match since Heenan is managing. He gives his thoughts on the main matches too.

The Rockers say they’ll beat the Heenan Family.

Haku/Barbarian vs. Rockers

Shawn and Haku get us going with Michaels trying to speed things up, only to be slammed into the corner. The second attempt at flying around works a bit better as a dropkick puts Haku down. The Rockers do some of their double teaming stuff but Barbie takes them down with a big double clothesline. Shawn and Marty double superkick him down though and the Heenan Family has to regroup a bit.

We get down to Marty vs. Barbarian again and speed takes over one more time. A sunset flip doesn’t work for Jannetty but Barbarian punches the mat. A rana takes Barbarian down and Marty pounds away for two. Off to Haku and a double headbutt puts Marty down again. Jannetty loads up another rana but the foreigners hit a double hot shot onto the top rope to really take over this time.

A gorilla press plants Jannetty and it’s time for more heel double teaming. Marty comes back with something like a cross body for two but the speed continues to get beaten down. By speed I mean the drug of the day for Jannetty of course. Back to Barbarian for a bearhug followed by a powerslam so wicked that the fans pop for it. The falling headbutt misses though and it’s hot tag time to Shawn. Things really do speed up now but Shawn gets kicked in the face to slow him down. That goes nowhere for the villains though and it’s a Michaels cross body off the top for the pin on Haku.

Rating: B. Just a fast paced tag team match here with power vs. speed. This is one of those formulas that works no matter how many times you do it as long as you have talented guys in there. The future Faces of Fear were fine as monsters for the Rockers to conquer and it set a good pace for the show here. Solid opening match.

Gene is with Marla Maples (not really famous), Alex Trebek and Regis Philbin, our celebrities for tonight. Regis is scared of Earthquake, Trebek tries to make Jeopardy jokes, and Marla is still not famous. Apparently she was married to Donald Trump. Ok then.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Von Erich popped into the company around Summerslam, won the IC Title from Perfect, lost it and was immediately a jobber to the stars until he went back to Texas. It’s a fast brawl to start but Bravo avoids the claw. Heenan is on commentary now. Von Erich runs into a boot in the corner and Dino takes over for a bit. The side suplex puts Tornado down for two and that’s about it for Bravo. A few seconds later it’s Claw and Tornado Punch for the pin on Bravo.

Rating: D. Nothing at all to see here and it’s a match that easily could have been cut. This was Bravo’s last televised match before he left the company for good a year or so later. Afterwords he would soon be murdered in an illegal cigarette smuggling operation in Canada. Now there’s a story that you can’t make up.

Warlord and Slick are ready for Davey Boy.

Bulldog talks to Winston (his new dog) and says there’s no bull in this bulldog.

Davey Boy Smith vs. Warlord

This is about whether or not Davey can break the full nelson. We start with our standard power stuff as they ram into each other a few times, only to have Bulldog knock Warlord out to the floor. A crucifix doesn’t work for Bulldog so Warlord drops some elbows for no cover. We hit the bearhug but Bulldog punches out, only to get caught in a hot shot to keep him on the mat.

A BIG belly to belly (kind of) puts Bulldog down but again Warlord won’t cover. We hit the chinlock until Bulldog fights up and hits a dropkick to send Warlord into the corner. Punches in said corner can’t drop Warlord but a cross body is finally enough to get him off his feet. Warlord counters a piledriver but Bulldog counters the counter into a sunset flip for two. Bulldog misses a charge into the corner and Warlord hooks the full nelson. It looks like all hope is lost but the fingers aren’t locked. Bulldog finally flips out of it and hooks the powerslam out of nowhere for the win.

Rating: C+. This would be filed under the category of “shocking the world” as it was actually a pretty solid match. Bulldog would get a lot better all of a sudden while Warlord would fall further down the card than he already was. This was way better than I was expecting and it turned into a pretty decent power match.

Jimmy Hart and hits Nasty Boys are ready to take the tag titles from the Harts.

The Harts say good luck cracking the Foundation.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys got got hot in WCW in 1990, weren’t signed to contracts, and debuted in the WWF in late 1990/early 1991. They won a tag team battle royal for this shot they’re getting here. Jerry and Bret start things off and it’s a quick Thesz Press to take Sags down. Brian gets knocked off the apron by the Hitman and Sags gets tripped down to the mat. No Sharpshooter yet though as Bret stomps the midsection instead.

Off to Anvil who starts powering Knobs around and pounds away in the corner. After being knocked to the floor, Brian comes right back in and is immediately caught in an armbar. The Nastys double team Neidhart in their corner to FINALLY take over, but a mat slam is enough to let Neidhart tag Bret back in. Hart tries to fight off both of the Boys, only to get decked from behind by Knobs.

Bret is sent out to the floor where he may have hurt his knee. Back inside Jerry whips him into the corner as we hit the heat section of the match. Sags hooks a reverse chinlock before Knobs comes in to do exactly the same. Back to Jerry for a neckbreaker for two and Brian breaks up a hot tag attempt. Hart breaks up a reverse chinlock by Knobs and now it’s Jerry to break up another hot tag.

Brian misses a splash in the corner and Bret makes the tag but, say it with me, the referee doesn’t see it. We get heel miscommunication and NOW we get a tag to Anvil. Jim cleans house and hits a quick powerslam for two on Knobs as everything breaks down. Jimmy Hart gets decked by Bret and there’s a Hart Attack for Knobs. The referee tries to get Bret out and Sags decks Bret with Jimmy’s helmet, giving the Nastys the titles.

Rating: B-. Another solid tag match here as the division was getting very hot all of a sudden. The Harts would quietly split up after this with Bret moving into the IC Title picture soon thereafter. The Nastys would hold the titles over the summer before dropping them to the monsters known as the LOD at Summerslam.

Jimmy Hart’s near panic attack over winning the belts is hilarious stuff.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel. Back in October, Roberts and Martel were on the Brother Love Show where Martel tried to spray his cologne on Damien’s bag, only to hit Jake’s eyes by mistake. Jake was basically blind for a few months, leading to the following blindfold match. These have never been good in the history of wrestling and I don’t expect it to be here.

Jake says snakes always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

In short, they’re both in hoods and neither guy can see. So the match starts and both guys point across the ring while trying to find where the other is. Martel gets down on the mat and crawls around, only to give us some stupid comedy spots with both guys tripping over the other. Rick tries a backdrop but Jake runs off to the side, showing that he can clearly see if you’re thinking about this.

They miss each other in the corner a few times until Martel finally grabs him for a slam, only to miss an elbow drop. Martel gets the referee in the corner, only to realize he’s grabbing a shirt. Jake uses the crowd for help by pointing and listening to the crowd cheer as he points at Martel. This continues on for awhile until Martel nearly grabs the snake bag.

The announcers continue a running joke where they can’t hear each other which isn’t funny. Jake gets knocked to the floor so Martel follows. He grabs a chair and pokes around with it but only hits the post. Back in and Martel takes Jake down and hooks the Boston Crab, only to have it broken quickly. Roberts grabs the DDT a second later for the pin.

Rating: F. This wasn’t wrestling. It was a stupid idea with both guys wandering around and making no contact for about seven and a half minutes before both guys hit their finishers. Thankfully this feud was done after this as I don’t think the fans could stand any more of it. Oh and on top of that, Martel didn’t cheat once by looking under the mask. Nice heel work there.

The Nasty Boys celebrate in the back and disgust Marla Maples.

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

For those of you reading this now, we’re currently at 20-0 and it all begins here. Taker slugs him around and rams Snuka head first into the corner a few times. The big jumping clothesline takes Snuka down and there’s a quick smother by Taker. Jimmy charges into a knee in the corner and gets slammed down, only for an elbow drop to miss. Snuka chops away but misses a dive and falls to the floor. The Tombstone ends this a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. The match is just a squash but it’s far more historic than anything else. Undertaker would go on to become the true Mr. Wrestlemania, never losing a single match in the entirety of his career there up to the point this is being written (2013). Snuka would fade from view soon after this.

We recap Savage vs. Warrior. Savage attacked then WWF Champion Ultimate Warrior on Saturday Night’s Main Event because he wanted a title match. Queen Sherri then got on her knees in front of Warrior at the Rumble, only to be turned down again. Savage cost Warrior the title later in the night, setting up a career ending match here tonight.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth sitting in the crowd. Warrior only walks to the ring with a coat on instead of his usual sprint to the ring. His trunks have the WWF Title belt on the back with the words “Means much more than this”. The fans HATE Savage here while Warrior gets some great pops. They lock up to start with Warrior easily shoving Randy down a few times. A shoulder does nothing for Savage so he heads to the outside.

Back in and a clothesline puts Savage down and there’s an overhand choke. An atomic drop has Savage in trouble again and there’s a big atomic drop for good measure. Sherri tries to interfere and is immediately knocked to the outside again. Savage gets tied up in the ropes and Warrior pounds away as this is completely one sided so far. Savage finally comes back with a clothesline but he dives off the top into a slam position, but Warrior puts him down on his feet with no slam. Now THAT is a mind game.

Macho King goes to the floor and grabs a chair which is nothing more than a distraction so that he can jump Warrior. That goes as well as anything else has for him so far with Warrior pounding away at Savage’s head. Warrior stomps away in the corner as Heenan says you couldn’t sneak a midget into the building. Savage falls out of the corner to avoid a charge, sending Warrior out to the floor. Sherri adds a slap to the face and there’s the top rope ax handle.

Warrior gets posted and Sherri gets in a few more shots for good measure. We’re told that this is the largest PPV audience in the history of pay per view. Since there’s no way to know that for months, I don’t think this is the case. Warrior absorbs some slams and pops up to stare Savage down. A Sherri distraction doesn’t work at all and Warrior runs the ropes, only to be slammed face first down into the mat for two.

We hit the chinlock/sleeper for a bit before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Sherri tries to interfere again but the referee is taken down in the process. AGAIN the Queen interferes but accidentally takes Savage out by mistake. Warrior goes after her but gets caught in a rollup for two. Heenan is panicking over this stuff. Savage clotheslines him down and hits the flying elbow, followed by a flying elbow, followed by a flying elbow, followed by a flying elbow, followed by a flying elbow, which gets a two count in total. To say Savage is in shock is the understatement of the year.

Warrior starts shaking the ropes and hits the war path around the ring before clotheslining Savage half to death. The gorilla press and splash only get two and Warrior talks to his hands, asking if it’s time for him to step aside. With Warrior on the apron, Savage decks him down to the floor as the crowd continues to be on the edges of their seats.

Savage loads up the ax handle to the barricade but Warrior hits him coming down, sending Randy crashing into the barricade. Back in and Savage can barely stand so Warrior hits two tackles to send Savage out to the floor both times. A third hits and Savage is DONE. Warrior puts his foot on the chest to end Savage’s career.

Rating: A. After watching both this and Wrestlemania 6 in about three days, there is zero question as to which is the better match. This was a pair of titans colliding and one man clearly was better. That’s one of the formulas that never fails if worked even mostly right and they NAILED IT here. This is by far and away Warrior’s best match ever, but the best part is yet to come.

Post match Sherri gets in the ring and beats the tar out of Savage who is defenseless and can’t see who it is. Elizabeth shocks everyone by jumping the guardrail and throwing Sherri to the floor in the only time I can ever remember her getting physical. Savage gets up and is SHOCKED to see Liz, who hadn’t been seen in about a year. Liz says it was Sherri attacking Savage who has no idea what to do.

Liz holds out her arms and after a few moments, Savage hugs her to one of the biggest ovations you will ever hear. Savage puts Liz on his shoulder before the go to leave. As is their custom, Liz holds the ropes for him but Savage says not this time, and holds the ropes open for her. Savage gets to take a bow in the middle of the ring and the fans are thrilled. This is the only, repeat ONLY, moment in wrestling that legitimately brings a tear to my eye every time I watch it. I think that’s the case for a lot of fans.

Regis Philbin is measured for a coffin by Undertaker. Regis: “We’re dying out here.”

Demolition is with Alex Trebek who annoys them with stupid Jeopardy talk. It’s Smash and Crush at this point, managed by Mr. Fuji again.

Regis talks to Tenryu and Kitao who are here for one night only. They don’t speak English so we get some racially insensitive attempts at communication.

Jake Roberts and Damien torment Trebek a bit. This is why intermission getting cut out was a good idea.

Demolition vs. Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao

Now this is one of those out of nowhere matches. Demolition is on their very last toes of their very last legs here as they’ve even got Mr. Fuji again. Tenryu is a Japanese legend and Kitao is a big time sumo guy who became a pro and didn’t do much. Kitao and Crush start things off but everything breaks down quickly. Fuji whacks Kitao in the back and Demolition takes over again. Gorilla asks what it takes to become a grand champion of sumo. Brain: “Being able to eat 1100 bowls of rice in an hour with a single chopstick.”

Crush slams Kitao down and it’s off to Smash. Kitao finally comes out of the corner with a clothesline and it’s off to Tenryu. He speeds things up in a hurry but misses a top rope back elbow. Crush hits a backbreaker to put Tenryu down but Kitao breaks up the Decapitator. He breaks it up again and Tenryu hits a fast enziguri and powerbomb for the pin on Smash.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here and I have no idea what the point of this match was. It’s the final match for Demolition and on top of that, THIS is how you use Tenryu, a legitimate Japanese legend? The match was less than five minutes long and this is the only time I know of that Tenryu appeared for the company in a regular match for nearly two years. My guess would be this is part of the working agreement with Tenryu’s SWS.

Boss Man says Heenan and his Family has nowhere else to hide tonight.

Mr. Perfect and Heenan say about what you would expect them to say about Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect is defending. This is an interesting yet simple idea for a story: Heenan had insulted Boss Man’s mama so Boss Man swore revenge. He went after the Heenan Family and beat every single one of them until there was only Perfect left. Tonight is the final showdown. They spit at each other to start and Perfect slaps Boss Man like a schmuck. Boss Man hits him once to knock Perfect out to the floor and there’s a spin around BY THE HAIR. FREAKING OW MAN!

Boss Man speeds around the corner and hits a big clothesline to take Hennig down. Perfect gets tossed out to the floor and Boss Man is standing tall. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to Perfect’s back and whips him with a belt for good measure. Perfect finally avoids a shot and takes Boss Man down with some kicks to the ribs. Off to a chinlock with a knee in the back followed by an abdominal stretch. There’s the Hennig neck snap for two and Mr. goes up, only to jump into a boot.

Perfect gets to do his reverse crotching into the post but as they go to the floor, Boss Man is whipped into the steps to take him down again. Since it was a Heenan distraction that caused the whip into the steps, here’s Andre the Giant to counter the weasel. Andre picks up the belt and takes way too long to get to his position, from which he whacks Perfect in the head to knock him out cold. Boss Man covers but Haku and Barbarian run in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This wasn’t great and I have no idea why they didn’t change the title. The story set it up to be a title change, but I guess they were hoping for something else besides this. What that was I have no idea as Boss Man would never come close to the title again. The match was decent enough all things considered though.

Boss Man and Andre clean house post match.

Donald Trump, Chuck Norris, Lou Ferrigno and Henry Winkler are here. Yep, the Fonz showed up at Wrestlemania.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine turned face a few months ago and this is his big match for the forces of good. We’re 20 seconds in and Valentine is getting powerslammed down for two. A splash misses in the corner and Valentine gets him down to one knee. Quake breaks the Figure Four twice, hits a big elbow and drops the Earthquake for the pin.

Rating: F+. Earthquake was pretty much done as a singles guy at this point but I’m assuming he got some shots at Hogan on house shows over the summer. Other than that though this was a filler match that didn’t need to be on the card at all. Nothing to see here but at least Quake looked dominant.

The LOD says Power and Glory will be sour and gory after the match.

Power and Glory vs. Legion of Doom

Hercules is sent to the floor and it’s a Doomsday Device to end Roma in less than a minute. They were clearly coming for the belts very soon.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Basically Virgil spent years serving DiBiase and FINALLY snapped on him at the Royal Rumble, setting up this match tonight. Roddy Piper is Virgil’s mentor here too.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Virgil gets one of the three big pops of his entire career here, with the first being when he finally hit DiBiase with the belt. The other will be in less than ten minutes. Virgil pounds away to start and sends Ted out to the floor. Back in and Ted hits a clothesline but an elbow misses a second later. DiBiase, the wrestler, easily takes Virgil down and hits a suplex for two. Things are REALLY slow now compared to just a few moments before. We head to the floor for a bit with DiBiase shoving down Piper, who was on crutches at this point. DiBiase talks some trash so Piper pulls the top rope down but the distraction is enough for a countout.

Rating: D. This was all story but it really should have been Virgil pinning DiBiase, even on a rollup. These two would continue to feud with Virgil actually taking the Million Dollar Title at Summerslam 1991. The problem with Virgil was that after the DiBiase feud, there was nothing for him to do at all. The match was really dull and didn’t have the payoff it needed at the end.

DiBiase puts Virgil in the Million Dollar Dream post match but Piper hits him with the crutch to break it up. Queen Sherri comes out to help with a beatdown of Piper, as she is now managing DiBiase. Referees come out to break it up until Virgil makes the save. Virgil tells Piper to get up, as Piper had told him over the last few months.

We get a clip of Slaughter and General Adnan burning a Hogan t-shirt.

Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified to keep the title. We get a clip of Slaughter beating up Hogan and Duggan as Slaughter laughs evily.

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Tito chases him around to start and beats him up a bit, only to get caught in the ribs with Mountie’s shock stick, ending this in less than 90 seconds.

Hogan gives his prematch interview, talking about how much he loves AMERICA and how he’s got new weapons. We get a clip of Slaughter and Adnan beating Hogan down but he promises to do it for his country.

Here are the celebrities: Regis is on commentary, Marla Maples is the timekeeper and Alex Trebek is ring announcer.

WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan immediately chases Slaughter around the ring until Adnan is put on the floor. Feeling out process to start with both guys going into the corner. Hulk hooks a headlock to no avail but sends Slaughter backwards with a shoulder block. The champ hits one of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see to Hogan’s back and pokes Hulk in the eye to finally take over. Hogan comes back with a clothesline and decks Adnan for fun too. A backdrop puts Slaughter down and Hulk sends him into the post.

Hogan hits a jumping knee to the back to send Slaughter into the corner and a slingshot sends Slaughter into the buckle again. Hogan gets in his ten punches in the corner for two but goes to the middle rope of all places, but Adnan breaks it up. Slaughter gets slammed down and Hulk drops a bunch of elbows. Now Hogan goes up top (!) but gets slammed to the mat and clotheslined to the floor. A better but still lame chair shot puts Hogan down again and it’s time to work on the back.

A backbreaker gets two for the champion and he stomps away on Hulk’s back. There’s a Boston Crab but Hulk is right next to the rope, making this pretty worthless. Another backbreaker gets two and it’s a third chair shot, this time to the head, gets two more. Hulk is cut over the eye. There’s Slaughter’s Camel Clutch but Hulk fights up, only to be rammed into the corner to send him right back down. Slaughter puts an Iraqi flag on Hogan and you know what’s coming now. A Hulk Up, big boot and leg drop later and AMERICA REIGNS AGAIN!

Rating: C. At the end of the day, if you didn’t know what was going to happen here then you’re either very young or have no idea how wrestling works. On top of the story, it’s Hogan in a match against a big man. What else could you possibly expect? Hogan winning is the 100% right decision and the match certainly isn’t bad. Slaughter was clearly a short term champion and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Decent stuff here and a feel good moment to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Oddly enough, this wasn’t too bad. There’s some lame stuff but for the most part it’s very short with only Jake vs. Martel being both bad and longer than five minutes. Other than that you get a very fun opener, a masterpiece in the retirement match, a feel good main event and some other solid stuff. If you shave off about half an hour of this, which could easily be done by dropping about three matches, this show goes WAY up in value. Still though, it’s worth checking out if you haven’t seen it in a long time.

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B

Redo: B

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F

Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F

Redo: F

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

Redo: A

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)

Redo: D+

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-

Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A

Redo: F+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-

Redo: D

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+

Redo: C

Overall Rating

Original: C

Redo: B-

These things need to be different already.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/14/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-7-wrestlemania-goes-patriotic/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




Impact Wrestling – March 13, 2014: Don’t Be A Bully, Be A Good Guy!

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 13, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

For the first time since October we’re coming off a pay per view and MVP is now in full control. His team won Lethal Lockdown with the help of Bully Ray swerving Dixie Carter by screwing over Team Roode this past Sunday. Other than that Abyss has been revealed as Magnus’ bodyguard/enforcer after saving the title when Samoa Joe had Magnus beaten. Tonight should be a fresh start for the company as we head towards Sacrifice at the end of next month. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Donovan Hill, who passed away at less than ten years old. I’m not sure who that is but he’s called “Our Angel.”

The Bro Mans and Ethan blame Roode for the loss but Roode says blame it on Bully Ray. A plot is hatched to take care of the Bully.

We look at some clips from Lockdown, focusing on the ends of the double main event.

Here’s a happy MVP to open the show. He’s pleased to tell us that Dixieland is officially closed for business. Just a week ago he was the minority owner but now he’s in charge and moving forward. He doesn’t know why Bully Ray did what he did but his past sins are now forgiven and he can compete like everyone else on the roster. MVP will be running this roster with the MVP Principle: Motivate, Validate, Participate. If someone has an issue, they can come deal with it, but he’s willing to give out some physical discipline if necessary.

This brings out Magnus with a rebuttal. He says this is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. MVP: “More ridiculous than your title run?” Magnus talks about how Dixie is gone so now we can look at the important things like his title reign. He brings out his associate Abyss (in a new brown mask close to what Kane wore in 2002 and yellow/black trench coat) and agrees with the fans chanting YOU SOLD OUT. Magnus says he isn’t like Jim Mitchell or Eric Young because he’s going to pay Abyss to do whatever he wants.

MVP says Magnus was beaten at Lockdown until Abyss saved him. We should put this conversation on hold though, because we need Samoa Joe out here right now. Joe comes out holding his ribs but MVP says we’re not done yet. Therefore, Joe is still #1 contender and getting a match right now against Abyss.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Joe takes him down and hammers away as we take a quick break. Back with Joe in control and hammering Abyss from one corner to another. He hits the Facewash in the corner but gets caught by a right hand to the injured ribs to change control. Abyss chokes on the ropes and punches in the corner like a monster should be doing.

We hit a quick neck crank but Joe fights out of a chokeslam attempt. A running boot puts Abyss down and there’s the back splash but Joe hurts his ribs again. He’s able to powerslam the monster down but Abyss fights out of a MuscleBuster attempt. Joe jumps from the middle rope into a chokeslam so Abyss goes outside to get Janice. This brings in Eric Young to dropkick Abyss down for the DQ at 9:30.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but too much of it was in the commercial. It didn’t help that Joe was injured for such a long portion. Eric coming in makes sense but it doesn’t really have me fired up for the upcoming blowoff match. They had to get rid of Abyss vs. Joe somehow if they’re keeping Joe going after the title.

JB is in the back for an interview when Angelina Love returns and asks if he missed her.

Bully Ray is on his way but we cut over to Willow for one of his freaky promos that I can’t understand.

Brittany vs. Gail Kim

Brittany is debuting here despite being Santana Garrett on a One Night Only show. We get a quick profile on her, saying she’s a second generation wrestler and admires Madison Rayne. Gail goes off on Brittany but the newcomer comes back with a forearm. Kim takes her down with a quick backbreaker and sends her into the corner for some kicks and shoulders to the ribs. Brittany takes her down with a Russian legsweep and Tapa comes in. She accidentally splashes Gail though and Brittany grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:02.

Post match Gail goes off on Tapa but gets laid out and beaten up with ease.

Bully Ray arrives and gets jumped by Ethan, the Bro Mans and Roode. They choke him out and blast Ray in the head with a big board to leave him laying.

Bro Mans vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Non-title. Zema does the full intro to great comedic effect. We get a video of Great Muta praising Sanada and telling him to make Japan look great. Sanada gets slammed down by Jesse to start and there’s that horn. Off to Tigre who works on Robbie’s arm to the appeal of the crowd. Jesse gorilla presses the masked Tigre and pumps him over and over, only to have Sanada come in with a springboard chop to the head.

A nice double dropkick puts Robbie down and Jesse gets suplexed onto his partner. The tag champs bail to the floor and Sanada backdrops Uno onto them both in a BIG crash. Back in and double missile dropkicks put the Bro Mans down again before Sanada hits a moonsault for the pin on Robbie at 2:50.

Velvet Sky freaks out that Angelina Love is back.

Bully destroys the Bro Mans to get some revenge.

Samuel Shaw is talking to Christy and wants her out there for his rematch with Anderson. He gets annoyed when the cameraman sees him. Christy was never seen or heard in the shot.

Ethan and Spud have a tribute to Dixie up next.

Samoa Joe goes to yell at Eric Young for interfering earlier but says don’t do it again. Eric has gotten Joe a rematch next week against Magnus for the title and Eric will be chained to Abyss.

It’s time for the tribute to Dixie. The fans are glad that she’s gone but Spud is overly emotional. The fans switch to a BORING chant, but Ethan says that just makes Spud want to cry more. Spud talks about how tonight is about how Dixie made everyone feel, including supple young Ethan. Dixie picked him up like Mary lifting Jesus out of the manger and made him the man he is today.

We get a video tribute to Dixie with shots of her smiling and yelling at various people. Then one night it was all taken away in Miami Beach. MVP can take away her power, but he’ll never take her out of our hearts. Spud reads what sounds like the song Dixie until MVP breaks this up. He says Dixie is just in the back shuffling papers now. Over the last few weeks, Spud has grown on him like a fungus or a rash.

Spud and Ethan must be loyal if they put up with Dixie but now it’s time for them to back it up in the ring. Spud says he can’t wrestle because he’s small and the Chief of Staff. MVP says that’s cool because we don’t need a Chief of Staff anymore. He gives Spud a pep talk and Spud wants to fight, so tonight it’s Spud vs. Willow. The announcers just say it’s Jeff Hardy’s alter ego.

Ethan shouldn’t laugh because next week he gets to face Bobby Lashley. Bobby comes out for a staredown and MVP says he’s officially on the roster. Spud yells at Bobby so Lashley bops him with the Dixie portrait. The former Chief of Staff snuggles up to it before Ethan leaves in a huff.

JB is waiting for Ethan behind the curtain and Ethan promises to take out Lashley’s knee next week. Bully Ray jumps him and hits a HARD shot to the head. Ethan takes a hard shot with a plastic board of his own.

Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson

Street fight. Shaw was talking to the upper body of a mannequin with a red wig. Anderson does his intro but Shaw sneaks up in the darkness to jump him before the bell. Anderson comes back with some right hands and but gets whipped into the steps. Samuel drives him back first into the apron and grabs a suplex on the floor.

Anderson finally throws him into the ring and they slug it out some more until Anderson gets the swinging neckbreaker and rolling fireman’s carry. Mr. goes to the corner and grabs the mannequin’s hair, sending Shaw into a panic. He gives it a kiss and tosses it to Shaw who takes his time sitting it down, allowing the Mic Check to hit for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D. Why in the world did this need to be a street fight? You could have done the exact same match with a brawl before the bell and thent he exact same finish. Shaw continues to be freaky and good in the role which is more than he could have done on his own. It was fine for a quick match but the gimmick brings it down.

Anderson shouts his name into the mannequin’s face.

Angelina says she’s back for someone special.

Video on the fan parties at house shows.

Willow stares at the camera.

Kenny King of the Night video.

Here’s Angelina for her return speech. She never thought she would hear that music again but it’s great to be back in TNA. She has grown wiser in the time since she left. Her dad told her that she’ll never miss what she has until it’s gone and that’s what happened with TNA. Friendships are more important though so she invites Velvet out here. They hug hello and Angelina says she never got to say goodbye.

Being apart for the last few years has made Angelina realize that Velvet made her who she is in this business. For years, Angel Williams (her ring name outside of TNA) wasn’t getting noticed but as Angelina Love she teamed with Velvet Sky and got noticed. Now every day she’s asked when the Beautiful People are getting back together and Angelina thinks the time is now.

The fans chant YES but Velvet isn’t sure because she’s found herself since Angelina has been gone. She even won the Knockouts Title for the first time and now she thinks she’s ready to move on. There will never be a bond as strong as the Beautiful People had and she wants to move forward. Angelina calls her dude and says there’s a ton of unfinished business for the Beautiful People. Love tries one more time but Velvet says she needs more time.

Willow vs. Rockstar Spud

We’re in early squash mode with Willow hammering away in the corner. A cartwheel splash has Sput in even more trouble and Willow dances a bit. Spud gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Willow gets his umbrella to blast Spud low for the DQ at 2:26.

Willow beats up the referee and pulls out a ladder before Pillmanizing Spud’s leg as revenge for costing Hardy the title. He stomps on it twice and hits a splash from the top of the ladder onto Spud’s chest, hurting the leg again in the process.  Bully Ray comes out as we take a break.

Ray says he can’t believe the fans are cheering for him. They say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. That happened to him when Anderson Mic Checked him into the coffin. He was going to give an explanation for what happened, but those four guys made this physical. If Roode had won on Sunday, he would have become just another Dixie Carter and that’s the last thing wrestling needs.

Ray wants Roode out here right now so here’s Bobby. He hits the ring and is immediately taken down so Bully can go get the tables. It takes too long though and Roode comes back with a spinebuster before setting up the table. The Roode Bomb is countered and Ray grabs a Cutter. A powerbomb through the table ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here with stories making sense and good wrestling to back it up. Ray turning face makes sense and he’s still a good talker so he can back it up. Dixie is hopefully gone and Spud should be off TV as well. That being said, they rushed through the Ray story WAY too fast. Ray getting attacked and getting revenge could be spread out for a month but they did it in two hours. There’s hope for TNA, but I don’t believe they can make it last longer than two months.

Results

Abyss b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Eric Young interfered

Brittany b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Sanada/Tigre Uno b. Bro Mans – Moonsault to Robbie

Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Mic Check

Rockstar Spud b. Willow via DQ when Willow hit Spud with an umbrella

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




NXT – March 13, 2014: The BFFs Smell Like Cheese

NXT
Date: March 13, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Jason Albert, Alex Riley

We’re coming off a good episode last week with the debut of Adam Rose and the first appearance of Adrian Neville as the NXT Champion. He and Bo Dallas aren’t done yet though as Dallas has promised to cash in his rematch clause in the near future. The only announced match for tonight is Xavier Woods vs. Alexander Rusev. Let’s get to it.

The opening video sets up Rusev vs. Woods and talks about Dallas vs. Neville II coming soon.

Theme song.

Jason Albert is Tensai under a less bizarre name.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Non-title. Sasha steals Paige’s t-shirt and yells a lot before a brawl breaks out. Paige throws her down by the hair before beating Sasha with the shirt. She gets to throw it out to the crowd and sends Sasha into the corner. Sasha comes back with a hard whip of her own and chokes away at the champ. We hit a chinlock from Sasha followed by a snapmare into another chinlock with a knee in the back. Paige fights up and takes Sasha into a corner for some elbows. Sasha is sent to the mat and that scorpion cross lock gets the submission at 5:05.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t bad but the majority of the match was spent in that chinlock. That cross lock is just ridiculous looking (in a good way) and it’s a step above the Paige Turner. The problem at the moment though is Paige has cleaned out the division and there’s nothing left for her to do at the moment.

Post match Charlotte goes after Paige but Natalya makes the save.

We look at Corey Graves vs. Sami Zayn from last week.

Sami says he silenced Corey last week and if Corey wants some more, he isn’t hard to find.

Stills of Mojo Rawley destroying CJ Parker at Arrival.

Rawley is of course hyped in the back and says Arrival was just the start.

Ascension vs. Travis Tyler/Cal Bishop

Non-title again. Konor runs over both guys to start and hits a pair of HARD shoulders to crush Tyler. Viktor comes in and fires off hard chops in the corner followed by a backdrop for no cover. Viktor is sent to the apron and it’s off to Bishop who works on the arm in the corner but gets his head taken off by a hard uppercut. Back to Konor who brings Tyler in for fun. The dominance continues and a running splash nearly ends Tyler. Viktor comes back in and the champions start making fast tags. A top rope knee from Viktor (the Guillotine) sets up the Fall of Man for the pin on Tyler at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Total and complete dominance here as you would expect. Much like Paige, Ascension has cleaned out the division and they need someone else to fight. Either that or send some WWE guys down there to give them some important wins. Ascension continues to look awesome but they need something new to do.

Mason Ryan vs. Wesley Blake

The BETTER THAN BATISTA chants begin already. Ryan counters a quick sleeper attempt and drives a hard knee into Blake’s ribs. Ryan cranks on the arm but gets caught by a forearm and some right hands in the corner. Blake isn’t looking bad but Ryan takes over with kicks to the ribs. Ryan misses a charge into the post and Blake works on the arm for a few moments, only to run into a spinebuster for the pin at 5:12.

Rating: D+. This was just a squash for the most part but at least the ending looked good. Mason Ryan has been around forever but he just isn’t getting any better. I can’t imagine them putting him in the Shield as was the rumor a few months back, but stranger things have happened in WWE.

Bayley is very excited to be on the WWE Network. She got to meet Bret Hart recently but the BFFs come in to make fun of her. Bayley steals the head on a stick and imitates both of them, saying that Sasha smells like cheese. Violence is implied but Natalya comes in. The BFFs say Natayla hasn’t been champion in forever and is only known for drunk dialing her boss on a reality show. Natalya talks about her uncle beating Charlotte’s dad for the title and Flair leaving the company as a result (it was more like two and a half months later but that’s WWE history for you). The BFFs leave.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Tyler Breeze comes out before Rusev and asks if he can have the chance to get revenge tonight. Lane comes out to do Rusev’s entrance and freak Rusev and Woods out. Breeze lays out Woods from behind and Rusev stalks to the ring. Woods says we can go and the bell rings, allowing Rusev to pick him apart with ease. The beating is nice and slow until Woods gets in a few kicks to the legs. He gets caught in a backdrop though and a spinebuster sets up the Accolade for the submission at 2:30.

Sheamus will be here next week.

Adrian Neville is about to talk about his rematch with Bo Dallas in two weeks when Bo comes in and says the nightmare ends two weeks. The Bo-Lievers have been the wind bo-neath his wings through this trying time. The fans are sick of Adrian and his flips and big ears. Adrian slaps him and they breathe heavily for a bit.

Colin Cassady vs. Bo Dallas

Colin shoves him down to start but Bo grabs a headlock to take over. Cassady easily shoves him away and dares him to try again. Bo charges into a slam and Cass drops some elbows, sending Bo running to the floor. Back in and Dallas tries another headlock, this time using a pull of the hair. A hard shoulder block sends Bo back outside and we take a break. Back with Bo in trouble but snapping Cass’ throat across the top rope to take over. He hammers away on Colin’s back and throws on a cravate to slow things down.

Colin fights up and buries some right hands in Dallas’ ribs to take get a breather. Bo drops him right back down with a running clothesline for two before hammering away. The fans chant Bo-Ring and Dallas has the biggest grin on his face. A running elbow to the head gets two and Dallas is getting frustrated. Bo misses a charge into the corner and Colin hammers away before doing the SAWFT Forearm. A BIG boot to the head gets two and Dallas is knocked silly. Bo gets in a quick shot to the throat though and an inverted DDT is enough for the pin at 12:25.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as Colin is getting better and better in the ring every week. He still needs Enzo out there to really make things work though. Dallas had some intensity out there that he’s been lacking in the last few months so maybe losing the title is a good thing for him. I don’t see this gimmick lasting long for him though.

Overall Rating: B-. Not quite as good as last week but it was still the normal NXT before the WWE interfered so my hope is getting stronger every week. The matches were all good and the stories are still basic but solid. Throw in some over the top characters next week and it’s the perfect balance.

Results

Paige b. Sasha Banks – Scorpion cross lock

Ascension b. Travis Tyler/Cal Bishop – Fall of Man to Tyler

Mason Ryan b. Wesley Blake – Spinebuster

Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade

Bo Dallas b. Colin Cassady – Inverted DDT

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




AMC Wants To Buy WWE?

That’s the rumor, but I can’t imagine it happening.First of all, the company is valued at well over two billion dollars.  That’s a lot of cash for a network that still airs films like Scorpion King 2.  Second, there’s the simple idea of Vince owning most of the stock and probably not wanting to sell.  It’s possible I guess, but I really don’t see this happening.

I’m thinking WWE winds up either back on USA or Spike, with the latter causing a lot of interesting effects.




Wrestler of the Day – March 8: Bad News Brown

I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you today: the Wrestler of the Day is Bad News Brown.

Brown (Allen Coage) was very successful in judo before entering wrestling. I believe he’s still the only American heavyweight to medal in the event at the Olympics. He started professional wrestling in 1977 with a lot of his early work in Japan, including this match against Abdullah the Butcher. I’m not sure on the date but it’s likely the early 80s.

Bad News Allen vs. Abdullah the Butcher

Allen gets tired of standing around and goes right after Butcher who sends him outside. Bad News goes under the ring and finds an object to blast Butcher in the head. Back in and ring attendants sweep the streamers out as the match is going on. They slug it out as the bell rings so I’m thinking this is already a DQ. Not that it matters as Brown hits a clothesline and right hand before they headbutt each other a lot. They keep fighting and the sweeping continues until referees break it up. The fight, not the cleaning.

Here’s a rarity as we jump ahead to 1986 in Montreal.

Bad News Allen vs. Daniel Roy

Roy (pronounced Wa) is a jobber with a mullet. Allen is introduced as the Ultimate Warrior about two years before the more famous version would get that name. Bad News takes over with some hard shots to the back and a knee drop for no cover. A headbutt in the corner and an elbow to the head have Roy down again as we’re in full squash territory here. Allen drops a fist drop to the face and takes Roy’s head off with a clothesline. Roy is done and a delayed powerslam gets the pin for Allen. Total squash.

We’ll stay in Canada but go to the other side of the country for a match from Stampede Wrestling for the North American Heavyweight Title, the company’s top belt. I’m pretty sure Owen is defending but I’m not sure.

North American Heavyweight Title: Bad News Allen vs. Owen Hart

We’re joined about ten minutes in (a common practice for Stampede) with Owen hitting a flip splash for two and cranking on Allen’s neck. A legdrop gets two on Allen and Owen stomps away but gets caught in the ribs to knock him into the ribs. Hart gets two off an atomic drop and drops an elbow for the same. We hit a Boston crab on Allen as this has been one sided so far.

Allen powers out and hammers away but a single uppercut drops him for two. The announcer tells us that Owen was dominated the first few minutes of the match but has been in full control ever since. A tombstone plants Allen but he gets his knees up to block a top rope splash. Allen comes back with a slam but gets tossed off the top. Hart nips up but gets caught by a belly to belly suplex. The fans are entirely behind Owen here and he comes back with a spinning cross body off the top but Makhan Singh (a monster) comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. Nice match here with Owen’s high flying being complimented by some surprising power. Allen was on defense far more than I was expecting here and the inconclusive ending keeps the door open for a rematch before Owen goes after Singh, which would be a huge feud.

This was near the very end of his time in Stampede. Earlier in his run he participated in the first recorded ladder match against Bret Hart, but the only footage I can find is a short clip.

Soon after it was on to the WWF in early 1988. Brown’s first major appearance was at Wrestlemania IV in a battle royal.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Ray Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, Harley Race, George Steele

Just for a big trophy here. Steele chills on the floor and Bob Uecker is in on commentary here. Sam Houston is put out quick as is Sika. Brunzell is sent to the apron by Nikolai but he makes the save. Both Bee’s are sent to the apron but Steele pulls Neidhart out to the floor. Both of the Bees are put out as is Ray Rougeau as the ring is thinning out a bit. Dog puts Bass out but has to fight off the Bolsheviks.

Hillbilly Jim is put out and Roma puts Davis out as well. We’re down to nine and Powers is out too. We’ve got Volkoff, Zhukov, Hart, Roma, Jacques Rougeau, Race, Brown, Patera and Dog. Race and Dog headbutt each other with the canine man winning. Nikolai is dumped by Patera and Zukov gets the same treatment.

Patera is pulled to the floor by Volkoff as Race and Rougeau go out. So it’s JYD, Hart and Brown to go. Dog gets on all fours to headbutt both heels but they finally catch up on him with some double teaming. He gets dumped out and Hart and Brown seem to be willing to split the win. Brown of course turns on Hart and dumps him out to win the trophy.

Rating: D+. This was nothing of note other than the potential beginning of Bret’s first aborted singles push. The problem with battle royals is the same most of the time: there’s no reason for most of them to happen and with no story, there’s not much interest in the match. Sometimes you’ll get a good one, but this wasn’t it.

Brown stands next to the trophy (which stands about 6’0) but Bret jumps him and destroys the trophy.

Brown would feud with Bret over the summer, including this match at Wrestlefest 1988.

Bad News Brown vs. Bret Hart

This is fallout from the Mania battle royal and Bret is officially a face now. Brown would get a short feud with Randy Savage soon after this which was very interesting although it never went anywhere really. The referee gets on Brown for being too evil and Brown tells him not to worry about it. That’s a nice line actually.

Brown goes up and Bret is, say it with me, PLAYING POSSUM. Why would anyone buy Bret selling anything ever? It’s what he does and he does it better than anyone. Bret can’t get anything of note going here. Brown yells out for the Ghetto Blaster, his running enziguri finisher. Here comes the Hitman who might not have that name yet. He hits a sweet dive over the top and Brown is in trouble now.

They crank it up and the match starts getting good. Bret doesn’t have the Sharpshooter yet so he’s going for whatever he can get to get a pin. He hits some of the five moves of doom but after a rollup Brown reverses into one of his own and uses the tights for a win. Neidhart comes out and they both beat down Brown to an extent. I’d love to see them in a real fight as Brown would massacre them.

Rating: B-. Solid little match here as neither guy meant anything yet. Hart was supposed to be showcasing himself here and he did that quite well. He looked like this fast guy that could brawl and have solid matches to go with it. Then they put him back with Neidhart a few weeks/months later and this was completely forgotten about of course.

With nothing else to do, Brown would have a random match at Summerslam 1988.

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera

Patera is a former Olympic weightlifter who has seen far better days. Bad News is a former Olympian as well, having won a bronze medal in Judo. Brown goes right after Patera during Ken’s entrance and drops a quick elbow for no cover. Patera comes back with a clothesline and takes his jacket off to really get things going. A back elbow puts Bad News down but an elbow drop misses. Brown stomps away on the apron as we’re firmly in punch and kick mode here.

Patera blocks a backdrop with a kick to the chest and gets two off a bad backbreaker. Off to a bearhug by Patera but Brown pokes him in the eye to escape. Patera can’t get his full nelson on in either attempt at the hold so he botches a charge into the corner instead, hitting the post shoulder first. The Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) is enough for the pin by Brown.

Rating: F. Patera was terrible by this point, not even being able to run into Brown’s elbow in the corner properly. Even the announcers were suggesting that he retire at this point, which I believe he did soon after. This match was nothing more than punching and kicking which doesn’t make for a very entertaining few minutes. It’s a product of the times on house shows that, which for all intents and purposes is what this show is: a big house show with a big main event.

Since Brown hasn’t been doing much in these matches, we’ll take a look at a TV match from Wrestling Challenge on January 15, 1989.

Bad News Brown vs. Bill Mulkey

Mulkey isn’t in great shape and looks like he had a mild stroke at some point. We’re less than a week from the Royal Rumble so Heenan and Gorilla spend the entire match talking about the battle royal. Brown destroys Mulkey with strikes and the Ghetto Blaster (enziguri) gets the pin.

The announcers had been talking about Bad News facing Randy Savage due to a feud over Elizabeth. Bad News had said a few things about her and Randy was livid. Many street fights followed, including this one I believe from Chicago.

WWF World Title: Bad News Brown vs. Randy Savage

This is a street fight so it should be awesome. Both are in brawling clothes and this was Savage’s main feud until we got to the Mega Powers Exploding. They head to the floor immediately and Brown gets in some chair shots. He chases Liz around which I think was what started the feud in the first place. Savage tries to help her but gets beaten up again. Savage finally ducks a punch and Brown’s fist hits the post.

Here’s the weightlifting belt so I guess Hogan stole that idea from Savage? Savage goes up top with a chair but jumps into another punch to the ribs. Back to the floor and Savage is thrown into the crowd. In something I cab’t believe I’m saying in 1989, it’s table time. Bad News sets one up in the corner but according to Wrestling Law #4, he winds up going through it. Well he went into the referee who went through it but whatever.

Brown hits his Ghetto Blaster finisher (enziguri) but there’s no referee. Brown isn’t the best guy in the world at first aid as he tries to wake the referee up by stomping him. Brown spends too long with the referee and Savage wakes up so he can grab a backslide of all things. Another referee comes in and counts the pin to end this.

Rating: B-. Considering this was in 1989, WOW. You had violence, you had a table spot, you had referee abuse, you had chair shots. What other match prior to ECW do you remember seeing that in (indies notwithstanding)? Good stuff here and Brown could have been a very valuable man if he was 15 years younger. Fun stuff.

Brown goes after the other referee and puts him in the Tree of Woe. Savage makes the save and they brawl some more. A bunch of wrestlers come out and they can’t stop it either.

Since we’re in the Mega Powers Era, the next logical match was against Hulk Hogan at Saturday Night’s Main Event XX, Bad News’ lone appearance on the show.

Hulk Hogan vs. Bad News Brown

Liz is with Hogan. The arena is weird looking as there’s no entryway but rather what looks like a hockey board that they open up. Brown takes over to start as is the tradition for a lot of Hogan matches. This only lasts a few minutes as I’m amazed at what Brown was back in this era. If he had been around say 8 years later, he would have been pure gold. Hogan goes to the head but it doesn’t work, making me really wonder how many of these stereotypes were unintentional.

Brown accidentally punches the post and this has been pretty one sided so far with Hogan dominating for the most part. Hogan no sells a chair shot and Brown leaves, saying hang on a second. He comes back shortly….with a broom? It goes nowhere and Brown FINALLY takes over with a clothesline. Brown gets a legdrop for two but it’s only kind of a power kickout.

Hogan gets beaten up and then Brown grabs the mic and goes Rock, talking to Hogan and telling him it’s Ghetto Blaster (his finisher, a running enziguri) time which of course misses. Maybe it would have hit if he hadn’t told him that. Hogan hits a high knee to set up the leg drop to end it. Well that’s different. He and Liz pose a lot.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. Again, Brown was an AWESOME character and could have been a great heel both here and ten years later. Him vs. Rock or Austin would have sold great and the fact that he was a legit fighter (Bronze medal in judo in the Olympics) would have easily opened the door to MMA if he wanted to go there. Decent little match and different than what you’re used to from Hulk which is a nice change of pace.

We’re in the late 80s so it’s time for a Survivor Series match, this time from 1989.

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster

Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man

This is mainly over Dusty vs. Bossman which is Dusty’s first big feud in the company. Dusty stole the nightstick and the hat which has ticked Bossman off. The rest of the guys are there because it’s Survivor Series and we need six more guys. Brutus’ music was awesome, just like the names for the teams. Tito and Honky start things off and for the third straight year Honky and Brutus are in the opening match on this show. I’m not sure what that means.

Tito takes over quickly but Honky gets in one kick before RUNNING over to make a tag to Martel. Rick dropkicks Tito down as Jesse talks about the now broken up Strike Force. Tito atomic drops Martel for two and everyone but Bad News gets in the ring at once. Nothing happens but it’s cool to see. Brown not getting in is perfect for his character too. Off to the Boss Man who is immediately armdragged down by Tito.

Off to Dusty who pounds away as the fans go nuts. Chicago was a big NWA town so it’s easy to see why he’s popular. Brutus comes in to another pop but Boss Man takes him down with a few shots to the back. Honky comes in but misses a fist drop. Beefcake hammers away but Martel makes a blind tag and takes over on Brutus. Rooster comes in and the place goes quiet. When you can’t get a reaction in Chicago, things aren’t that good for you.

Martel hits some knees to the face and it’s off to Honky who dances a lot. Boss Man comes in and they slug it out with the big man taking over with ease. Martel comes back in and drops some knees but gets rolled up for two. Back to Honky as Rooster is in trouble. I’m digging these four man versions already as the match seems less crowded and the guys can stay in the ring a little longer. Rooster and Honky collide and it’s a double tag to give us another battle of Strike Force.

Tito goes loco on Martel and beats him down, but Martel breaks the figure four. Santana tries an O’Connor Roll but Martel rolls through and grabs the trunks for the first elimination. Dusty comes in next and hits a dropkick (and a decent one) followed by the big elbow…for two? We must be in the WWF. Brutus comes in to work on the arm and stomp on Martel’s face when he tries a reverse monkey flip.

Rooster comes in and can’t seem to figure out what to do with a headlock. Martel is like screw you you nitwit and backbreaks him down. Off to Boss Man who slaps on a bearhug. Gorilla keeps calling Brutus the team captain but the team is called the Dream Team and Dusty came out last. Rooster bites out of the hold and Boss Man tags Bad News who isn’t interested in coming in.

After Bad News gets pulled in he takes over because he’s fighting a freaking rooster. Just like last year though, Bad News accidentally gets hit by his partner and he walks out. It’s three on three now and we have Boss Man vs. Brutus. After the Barber gets beaten on some more it’s off to Honky for a belly to back suplex. Out of nowhere Brutus hits a high knee to Honky for the fast pin, making it 3-2 (Brutus, Dusty and Rooster vs. Boss Man and Martel).

Martel immediately comes in and puts a chinlock on Brutus which doesn’t last long. The second version of it does though as the match slows down a lot. A backbreaker puts Brutus down and he goes into the buckle a few times. Brutus grabs a sunset flip again out of nowhere to eliminate Martel and it’s 3-1. Brutus tags in Rooster to throw a bone to Boss Man and after some punches from Rooster, the Boss Man Slam gets the fast pin and it’s 2-1.

Dusty is in next but it’s quickly off to Brutus for some knees to the chest. Back to Dusty as the good guys are using some intelligence (yes, Dusty and Brutus are using intelligence) with the fast tags. Boss Man gets whipped into the ropes and Dusty takes him down with a cross body, likely rupturing at least three vital organs of Boss Man and getting the final pin. I may have been right about those organs.

Rating: C+. Nothing special here but it was fine for an opener. The fans liked most of the good guys and other than Rooster, that was a solid set of guys. The match wasn’t competitive or anything for the most part after the first five minutes but there was nothing particularly bad about it I guess.

At the Royal Rumble, Bad News got in a fight with another legitimate fighter, leading to one of the most bizarre matches you’ll ever see. I’ll throw in the pre-match promo.

Now it’s time for one of the weirdest matches you’ll ever see. We recap Bad News Brown vs. Roddy Piper which started with a double elimination and a brawl at the Rumble. That’s all well and good. We go to Piper in the back where Piper says some people call him Hot Rod but then he turns around to show that half of his body is painted black. That side is called Hot Scot and you can hear the racial issues building from here. Apparently it was something about Michael Jackson.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

An interesting point here is that both guys are legit black belts in judo with Brown being an Olympic bronze medalist in the sport. They immediately take it to the mat in a fist fight until Piper gets two off a cross body of all things. The referee (former heel wrestler Danny Davis) keeps separating them so Brown takes over by sending Piper’s head into the buckle. He yells at Piper for trying to be black and it’s off to a nerve hold.

Brown slugs him down a few times and drops an elbow for two. Somewhere in there a buckle pad is ripped off and it’s Brown going chest first into said buckle. Piper pulls out a single white glove (Brown wore a single black one) and a bunch of punches send Brown to the floor. Piper swings a chair but hits the post and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

We’ll close out Brown’s WWF run with a showdown over which pet was better (Brown’s sewer rats or a 20ft snake).

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Bossman is guest referee for no apparent reason. Brown jumps Jake before Bossman is in the ring but has to bail out of a DDT attempt. Back in and Bad News tosses Jake down and gets two off a legdrop. Jake tries the DDT a second time but Brown bails to the floor again. Roberts follows him out and gets hit in the ribs with a chair which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Back in and Bad News pounds away as Piper asks if Vince has ever smelled Brown. Jake avoids a middle rope elbow and hits the short clothesline but Brown backdrops out of the DDT. Another chair shot to Jake is good for the lame DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I’m still not sure why Boss Man was in here at all. Jake and Brown didn’t do anything else after this and Brown didn’t go after Boss Man after the feud, so I guess he was there as an enforcer for reasons not important enough to explain. The match was just ok.

Brown would leave the company after being lied to about becoming the first black WWF Champion. He would head back to Japan for a promotion called UWF-I, which was a shoot style company (with worked finishes). I’ll be skipping that as it’s far closer to MMA than wrestling and isn’t really something you can review for a series like this.

Overall Brown was a guy WAY ahead of his time. Can you imagine a guy like him in the Attitude Era? A black militant who could talk and was a legitimate Olympic medalist in a combat sport? Bad News was far better as a character than in the ring, but a lot of that was due to him not having a solid set of opponents. Look what happened when he had a guy like Savage who could go move for move with him. Brown is a very interesting worker, but he didn’t have a long body of wrestling to go off of, at least not in the mainstream.

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania VI: The Biggest One Match Show Ever

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Time for another historic main event and in this case it’s probably Hogan’s best match ever. After Hogan basically beat every heel in the company, the only thing left to do was to have someone new come into the main event. At the Royal Rumble, only Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior were left in the ring at one point. The fans erupted and we had Wrestlemania 6. That’s the only match of note on the card so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set in space with a bunch of constellations. Vince does a voiceover and talks about how the two strongest beings in the universe are Hogan and Warrior. That’s different if nothing else.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Martel is now a model and THE RING CARTS ARE BACK!!! Rick jumps Koko to start things off and the beating is on fast. Koko comes out of the corner with a cross body for two and a dropkick to stagger Martel even more. Martel heads to the floor, only to be dragged right back in. He sends Koko to the floor though and things slow down a bit. Rick pounds away on the back and hits a middle rope shot to the back. A backbreaker looks to set up the Boston Crab but Koko makes the rope. Some rams into the corner don’t work because Koko is black you see. A middle rope cross body misses and this time the Crab ends Ware.

Rating: D+. Not much of an opener here but it was decent enough I guess. This would have been a dark match today I would guess. The interesting thing here is what you got on the clipped version. On that edition, the first Boston Crab was clipped to the ending of the second one. See how dangerous that stuff can be?

Gene is with the tag team champions Haku and Andre (the Colossal Connection), calling the Colostomy Connection. Heenan: “Well if you want to talk evacuation….” They say they’ll beat Demolition. Gene: “The Colossal Connection: they’re anything but regular guys.”

Demolition says they’re going to take out the Connection and take the titles. Ax wants to chop them down like trees while Smash wants to put them in a tractor trailer and push them over a cliff. Our heroes ladies and gentlemen!

Tag Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

Only the challengers get an entrance. Andre is old and banged up here but they gave him a token title at the end of his career. The champions, the Connection, takes over to start as it’s Haku vs. Smash to get us going. Off to Ax to pound away but Andre comes in to break it up. Smash will have none of that and the beating continues on Haku with the challengers taking turns on him.

Haku and Smash fight over a backslide for awhile until Andre breaks it up. Demolition keeps control though and Haku gets beaten on even more. Andre finally cheats enough to let the give the champions the advantage. The giant headbutts Ax from the apron for a very delayed two before Haku rams Ax’s head into Andre’s head for two more. This was during the time when Andre would be officially in for about 15 seconds which was all he was capable of anymore.

Off to the Tongan nerve hold by Haku for a bit before Andre chokes in the corner. Andre hasn’t actually been in the match yet. A shoulder breaker gets two for Haku but he misses a charge into the corner. Hot tag brings in Smash to clean house and a flying forearm gets two. Everything breaks down and Andre is taken down by a double clothesline. Haku accidentally superkicks Andre into the ropes and the Decapitator gives Demolition their third tag titles.

Rating: C-. This was decent stuff but it was basically a handicap match. Andre was just too old to do much else after this and I don’t think he ever had another match in the WWF. Demolition would go on to have a summer long reign before turning heel and losing the titles to the now face Hart Foundation. Decent stuff here and the fans loved it.

Heenan, ever the brilliant man, yells at Andre and SLAPS HIM IN THE FACE! Andre grabs him by the face and smacks him around, blocks Haku’s superkick like it’s a baby’s hand, knocks Haku into the ring cart, changes his mind and kicks Haku out of the cart and leaves to a huge ovation. This was a good way to go out for Andre as he showed he could still beat up a lot of people with ease. Good stuff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there’s going to be an earthquake in Toronto. Earthquake is ready for Hercules.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Earthquake misses a charge into the corner to start and Hercules pounds away on him. The big man heads to the floor before coming back in for a test of strength. Hercules goes down almost immediately and Earthquake is in control. The non-disaster comes back with some clotheslines but for reasons of general stupidity, Hercules tries a torture rack which goes as well as you would expect on someone who weighs 468. Two Earthquakes end Hercules.

Rating: D. Quick and easy here as Earthquake was clearly being built up as a huge monster for either Hogan or Warrior. He could certainly move very quickly for a guy his size and he had the talking ability to back it up. Earthquake is often forgotten as a quality monster which is a shame because the guy was pretty awesome.

Some celebrity interviewer is with Liz who says she’ll be around more often in the future from now on. Not really but whatever.

Brutus Beefcake thinks Mr. Perfect’s record looks pretty good. Tonight, he’s going to make it imperfect.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

This is one of the biggest matches on the card. Beefcake starts fast and punches Perfect to the floor with a single right hand. Back in and another punch sends Perfect flying over the top rope again. Brutus pounds away some more and Perfect gets to do his over the top bumping. A running clothesline puts Perfect down and Beefcake calls for the sleeper as Mary Tyler Moore of all people is here.

Perfect’s manager the Genius (the original Damien Sandow. They both even did cartwheels) slides in his metal scroll to Perfect and a shot to the head gives Mr. control. Perfect pounds away with some slow shots to the chest but the fans are staying into this. Beefcake comes back with the required slingshot into the required head first into the post bump by Perfect which is enough for the win out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. The crowd carried this one as Beefcake wasn’t a great worker but he had more charisma than he knew what to do with. Perfect was a leading candidate to face Hogan here so he was certainly a top heel. The match wasn’t great but it was more than enough to fire the crowd up again here. Granted the crowd is already white hot so no complaints here.

Post match Brutus goes to cut Perfect’s hair but Genius steals the clippers. Beefcake chases down the worthless Genius for a sleeper and a haircut. Brutus’ SWEET music is playing the whole time on top of that.

Now it’s time for one of the weirdest matches you’ll ever see. We recap Bad News Brown vs. Roddy Piper which started with a double elimination and a brawl at the Rumble. That’s all well and good. We go to Piper in the back where Piper says some people call him Hot Rod but then he turns around to show that half of his body is painted black. That side is called Hot Scot and you can hear the racial issues building from here. Apparently it was something about Michael Jackson.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

An interesting point here is that both guys are legit black belts in judo with Brown being an Olympic bronze medalist in the sport. They immediately take it to the mat in a fist fight until Piper gets two off a cross body of all things. The referee (former heel wrestler Danny Davis) keeps separating them so Brown takes over by sending Piper’s head into the buckle. He yells at Piper for trying to be black and it’s off to a nerve hold.

Brown slugs him down a few times and drops an elbow for two. Somewhere in there a buckle pad is ripped off and it’s Brown going chest first into said buckle. Piper pulls out a single white glove (Brown wore a single black one) and a bunch of punches send Brown to the floor. Piper swings a chair but hits the post and it’s a double countout.

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Steve Allen, former host of the Tonight Show, is playing a piano in the bathroom as the Bolsheviks rehearse the Russian national anthem. Jokes are made and they’re not that funny.

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

National anthem, Canadian assault, Hart Attack to Boris, pin in about 20 seconds.

Go to Mania 7 in Los Angeles where there will be over 100,000 fans! Or not because of “terrorism threats” so we’re going to a smaller place! Pay no attention to the fact that it was reported that Vince couldn’t sell the place out so they moved the event!

Tito is ready for Barbarian and Heenan.

The Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

This is Bobby Heenan’s debut as Barbarian’s manager. Barbarian takes him into the corner to start but Tito comes back with punches to send Barbie to the floor. Back in and a big hip toss puts Tito down but Santana comes back with right hands to the head for two. They run the ropes and Barbarian kicks Santana’s head off to take over. When all else fails, kick the other guy in the face.

Barbarian misses a middle rope elbow but Tito can’t take him down with a dropkick. The flying forearm takes Barbarian down but Heenan puts his foot on the rope. Barbarian slugs him down and goes up top for a BIG clothesline off the top (and a SWEET bump from Tito) for the pin.

Rating: C-. The shot at the end makes up for most of the match sucking. Tito looked like he was dead out there and the flip backwards made it look even better. This was just a way to set up Barbarian as a singles guy which went absolutely nowhere. The guy stayed employed over the years if nothing else though so he’s got something up on a lot of people. Tito was officially a jobber to the stars at this point.

We recap Dusty/Sapphire vs. Macho/Sherri. This started at the Rumble where Brother Love insulted Sapphire and a brawl broke out with Savage and Rhodes. Sherri started attacking Rhodes on TV and a fourway brawl broke out there too.

Rhodes and Sapphire are ready for the mixed tag and say they have the crown jewel, whatever that is.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Queen Sherri/Randy Savage

Savage is the King at this point. This is the first mixed tag in company history according to Fink. I don’t know if that’s true but I don’t know of another preceding it. Dusty and Sapphire are introduced at 465lbs. Jesse: “Are you telling me Dusty only weighs 200?” Dusty says cut the music because he’s got the crown jewel: Elizabeth. Savage FREAKS (I think. It’s kind of hard to tell with him) and Jesse is on one of his famous rants.

The genders have to match here so the guys start things off. Sherri tries to interfere but Sapphire makes the save. Dusty throws Sherri into Savage and we’re off to the women. Sapphire shakes her hips into Sherri and hooks an airplane spin for bad measure. Sherri tries a slam which goes as well as you would expect it to. Off to the men again with Sapphire getting in a few slaps from the apron.

The guys go to the floor but Savage runs back in for a top rope ax handle to the floor. He hits it again for good measure but Sapphire gets in the way of the third jump. Back in and Randy hits a suplex for two and drops Rhodes with a shot to the head with the scepter. Sherri hits a top rope splash for two on Dusty because the rules don’t matter I guess. Everything breaks down with Sapphire taking over on Sherri. Liz sends Sherri back inside and it’s a schoolgirl win for Sapphire on the Queen.

Rating: D. Another mess here that was there more for the spectacle than anything else. Most of this show isn’t that good all around and this was another good example. Sapphire continues to be pretty much there as a sight gag but thankfully she would be gone later on in the summer. Not much to see here for the most part.

Liz, Sapphire and Dusty dance.

Another Mania 7 ad.

Bobby Heenan is nearly speechless over Andre beating him up.

Rona Barrett is your usual celebrity that is out of place on a wrestling show.

Savage and Sherri freak out a lot.

Demolition celebrates their title win. This must be intermission. They’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Now we get one of those famous interviews that is still talked about today. Hogan talks about getting energy from all of the Hulkamaniacs and says that THIS is where the power lies. He’s going to get Warrior down on his knees and ask him if he wants to live forever. Apparently he and the Hulkamaniacs can bring all of the Little Warriors into the light. Hogan: “It doesn’t matter whether you win or whether you lose.” He’s already setting the stage for the loss.

Warrior throws Sean Mooney away, saying Sean doesn’t deserve to breathe his air. He goes on one of his usual rants about how no one can live forever but Hogan’s beliefs can live through him. He talks about darkness and beliefs that come with any and all challenges. Tonight is about merging the Hulkamaniacs and the Warriors together. Warrior may be insane, but he’s really not that much worse than Hogan when you think about it.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Jannetty and Tanaka start things off and the Rockers take over with their usual speed stuff. Double teaming sends the Express out to the floor before things settle down a bit. Mr. Fuji hooks the top rope, sending Marty out to the floor. Back in again and Jannetty escapes a backdrop and makes the tag off to Shawn. A double superkick puts Tanaka down so it’s off to Sato. Tanaka kicks Shawn in the back and the Rockers are in trouble again.

A gutbuster gets two for Tanaka and a big kick to the face puts Shawn down again. Sato hits a top rope knee drop and it’s off to a nerve hold. Shawn comes back with a big old clothesline and a diving tag to Marty. Things speed up and we get some heel miscommunication. A big backdrop puts Tanaka down but Fuji breaks up the double fist. Marty goes after him and gets salt in the eyes for his efforts. He stumbles into the barricade and that’s a countout.

Rating: C+. Decent tag match here which would be topped by about a mile at the Rumble. These guys needed more time than this and a better finish to be awesome so this one was just ok. The Rockers would start getting awesome in a hurry after this with nearly two years before their famous split. The Express would only have a handful of PPV matches ever and this is the most recent that I’ve seen.

Rhythm and Blues are in the back with Steve Allen cracking jokes at their expense. Greg Valentine as a guitar playing rocker is just wrong.

Dino Bravo vs. Jim Duggan

These two feuded for a long time. Earthquake is here with Dino, sending Gorilla into a rant about how you can’t be a wrestler and a manager. Kazarian would disagree. Jesse brings up how stupid it is to bring an American flag to Canada (against a Canadian at that). This is power vs. power and AMERICAN power takes over early on, sending Bravo out to the floor.

Back in and Duggan misses a charge into the buckle and Dino slugs him down. Jesse: “I don’t like Hacksaw.” Gorilla: “Why not?” Jesse: “He’s so ugly.” Jim comes back with three clotheslines but has to fight off Earthquake. In the distraction he hits Bravo with the board for the pin.

Rating: D. Another filler match, another match that sucked. Duggan was there to get crushed by Earthquake post match. Bravo was a decent lackey and midcard heel for people to beat up, but as usual he was going to lose no matter what he did out there. Except to Ronnie Garvin last year because Garvin sucks.

Duggan gets crushed by Earthquake post match.

We recap DiBiase vs. Roberts. Ted choked him out in MAY and then six months later Jake came after him. I’ve heard of slow builds but this is ridiculous. Roberts held up the belt and that’s about it.

Roberts says he’s going to make Ted beg for mercy.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

DiBiase is quickly sent to the floor as Jesse criticizes Gorilla’s hot dog consumption. The DDT is escaped twice and Ted takes a breather on the floor. Back in and Jake grabs a hammerlock before driving some knees into the arm. Off to another hammerlock as Gorilla starts talking anatomy. Jake has to chase off Virgil though and Ted gets in a shot as Roberts comes back in. Roberts misses a running knee lift and Ted takes over.

Off to a front facelock by DiBiase as the fans are doing The Wave. It goes on for a good while as Ted sends Roberts’ arm into the post. A piledriver puts Jake down but DiBiase doesn’t cover. Off to the Million Dollar Dream for a bit but Jake gets his foot on the ropes. Jake comes back with an atomic drop and a clothesline followed by a backdrop for no cover. The DDT is loaded up but Virgil makes a save, pulling Jake to the floor when the referee isn’t looking. They head to the floor where the Million Dollar Dream is put on again. Jake sends DiBiase into the post but Ted gets back inside anyway to retain.

Rating: C-. This match took a long time to get going but the crowd was into this match for the most part. Apparently DiBiase wins the title even on a countout because this is a non-sanctioned belt. Gorilla thinks DiBiase doesn’t deserve the title because he didn’t earn it, but Jesse says Ted does because Ted paid for it. Point to Jesse.

Jake beats up Virgil and DiBiase because he can with Ted taking a DDT. Roberts shoves some money in Ted’s mouth for fun.

Slick says life is all about money so he’s happy that DiBiase has paid off Akeem to take out Big Boss Man. DiBiase had asked Boss Man to get the belt back from Roberts but since there was no crime, Boss Man turned face for being offered a bribe.

Boss Man doesn’t have much to say.

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Boss Man’s face as he rides to the ring is almost scary. DiBiase is waiting at ringside and jumps Boss Man before the bell. Wait apparently it did ring but the referee didn’t care. Good to know. Anyway Akeem pounds away on Boss Man but gets caught in an atomic drop out of the corner. The Boss Man Slam ends this in less than two minutes.

The fans don’t care about Rhythm and Blues.

Mary Tyler Moore likes Wrestlemania.

Here’s Rhythm and Blues to perform Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love. The only thing of note here is future WCW World Champion Diamond Dallas Page as the man driving the pink Cadillac into the arena. The Bushwhackers pop up in vendor costumes to beat up the band and break guitars.

The attendance record is announced: 67,678.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Rude now has straight hair and is all tough instead of being a comedy guy. Steve Allen comes in to do commentary for no apparent reason. Snuka takes over to start with some shots to the head, only to have Rude suplex him down with ease to take over. Jimmy comes back by ramming Rude’s face into the mat, only to get poked in the eye for his efforts. Snuka misses something off the top and jumps into a punch to the ribs. The Rude Awakening ends this quick.

Rating: D. This was there to set up Rude as a threat to the new champion after the main event tonight. That would lead to Summerslam and a main event title match, but that would be about it for Rude in the WWF. Snuka wouldn’t do much here at all and was a total jobber to the stars after this one.

We recap Hogan vs. Warrior. They wound up being the only two guys in the ring at one point in the Rumble and the reaction to their fight was great. They then had some run-ins on SNME and the Main Event and that’s about it. This is much more about a battle of respect and they certainly don’t hate each other.

WWF World Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

This is title for title. It’s one of those matches where both guys are built up to the point that neither can lose and the fans are completely split on who they want to win. That’s REALLY hard to pull off and I don’t remember a better execution of something like this ever before. The shot of Warrior on the ropes doing his pose as Hogan comes to the ring still sends chills up my back.

They stare each other down and both guys shove the other into the corner. We get the famous test of strength with Warrior taking over to start. Jesse is STUNNED but Hogan fights back up and takes Warrior down to his knees, giving us one of the most popular .gif’s in the history of the internet (implied oral sex if you’re not familiar). Hogan trips Warrior down and drops an elbow for one but Warrior pops up and no sells a slam. Warrior slams Hogan down and clotheslines him to the floor where Hogan might have hurt his knee.

Back in and the brawl is on with Hogan’s knee being fine and not ever mentioned again. Hulk takes over and pounds away at Warrior’s head before getting two off a pair of elbow drops. Off to a front facelock and a small package for two. Hogan hooks a chinlock and pounds away on Ultimate’s head. After a brief break we’re right back to the chinlock followed by a belly to back suplex for two for Hulk.

There’s chinlock #3 and you’re not likely to ever hear the fans freak out as much from someone fighting out of a chinlock as you get here for Warrior. A double clothesline puts both guys down and Hebner counts VERY slowly, which is the right idea here. Warrior grabs the ropes and starts Warrioring Up before hitting some clotheslines. A suplex gets two for Warrior and it’s off to a bearhug on Hulk.

Hogan fights out of the hold with some solid rights to the head but on the breakup, the referee is taken down. Warrior hits a pair of ax handles off the top and starts to get fired up. The shoulder block misses though and Hulk drives him head first into the mat, but there’s no referee. Warrior suplexes Hogan down but there’s still no count. A rollup gets a VERY close two for Hogan and it’s time for the punches.

An elbow sends Warrior out to the floor and Hogan gets posted. Back in and Warrior snaps off some clotheslines followed by the gorilla press into the splash. That gets two and it’s time to Hulk Up. Hogan pounds away and hits the big boot, but the legdrop misses. Warrior hits a fast splash for the surprise pin to win the title and shock the world.

Rating: A. That’s likely high but the crowd here REALLY helps this one. This is a match that just works and there’s almost no other way to put it. I don’t think there’s much of an argument over this not being Hogan’s best match ever and it’s easily Warrior’s first or second best ever depending on your taste about next year’s entry. Either way, this is a great match and one of those matches you have to see at some point as part of being a fan.

Hogan hands Warrior the belt and leaves in the cart, partially stealing the spotlight but it’s not as bad as I remember.

Overall Rating: C+. This is one of those shows that is completely dependent on the main event. Other than that there’s almost nothing here at all, although there’s nothing that horrible. It’s mainly a big group of random(ish) matches with stories to most of them, but almost none of them are anything of note. Still though, it’s pretty fun stuff overall and the main event is must see. It’s not a great show or anything but it’s worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D

Redo: D+

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C

Redo: C-

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A

Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-

Redo: D

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C

Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+

Redo: D

Ted Dibiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C

Redo: C-

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-

Redo: D

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

I’m surprised by that Bad News/Piper match more than anything else.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/13/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-6-epitome-of-a-one-match-show/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania V: Maybe The Explosion Will Wake The Crowd Up

Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Given how this year’s (2013) Wrestlemania is more or less a sequel to last year’s, this is an appropriate show to get to. This is more or less the followup to Wrestlemania IV as Savage has snapped on Hogan, claiming that Hulk is jealous of the title and all that jazz. That’s really all you need to know about this show as it’s the only match that means anything at all. Let’s get to it.

Rockin Robin, the reigning Women’s Champion, sings America the Beautiful.

Hercules vs. King Haku

The crown isn’t on the line here. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Herc comes back with a hip toss and a slam followed by a release flapjack. A clothesline puts Haku on the floor but Hercules suplexes him right back in. Some elbow drops keep Haku down but Hercules goes after Heenan like an idiot. Haku jumps him from behind and we head back inside for a pair of backbreakers for a pair of counts.

Since this is a power match we hit the bearhug as even Jesse says this isn’t going to get a submission. Gorilla criticizes Haku’s technique, prompting Jesse to ask what a gorilla would know about bearhugging. Herc breaks the hold and the King yells at the referee, only to get caught by a cross body. Hercules pounds away and hits a running knee lift followed by some clotheslines. A powerslam gets two but Hercules jumps off the top into most of a superkick. Haku misses a top rope headbutt and Hercules wins with the belly to back suplex with a last second shoulder raise.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was a basic enough match to get things going. Hercules was a generic power guy so there wasn’t much to get interested in with him. Haku would join up with Andre to win the tag titles by the end of the year. I’m not sure if there was much of a feud here other than Hercules vs. Heenan which was only touched on.

The Rockers say they can handle the Twin Towers.

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

That would be Big Boss Man/Akeem. Shawn makes his Wrestlemania debut by starting against Big Boss Man and the little guy takes over quickly. He also decks Akeem in the corner and gets to face the bigger man (Akeem, the former One Man Gang). The Rockers start flying in and out of the ring as they work over Akeem’s arm. The arm cranking continues but Akeem makes a blind tag. Marty gets tossed into Boss Man’s arms and crushed by both big men. This is back when Boss Man weighed about 400lbs so it’s a big more painful than it sounds.

The Towers take their turns with fat man offense as Marty is in big trouble in a hurry. Akeem avalanches him in the corner and it’s back to Boss Man. We get heel miscommunication though and Boss Man is knocked to the floor by his own partner. Off to Shawn who pounds away in the corner before both Rockers hit a series of whips into the corner. A double middle rope shoulder finally takes Akeem down for two and it’s back to Shawn on his own.

Akeem KILLS HIM with a clothesline (Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”) but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. The Rockers hit some double dropkicks (one of which sees Shawn completely missing Bossman) but a top rope rana is countered into a wicked powerbomb by Boss Man. Akeem crushes Shawn with a splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering how hungover the Rockers were in this match (as confirmed by Shawn), this came off pretty well. The Rockers sold the power offense like few others could, which made for some awesome visuals. They would get a lot better over the coming years but this wasn’t their best performance.

Ted DiBiase talks about hanging out with Donald Trump and having them here to see him beat up Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

This isn’t for the Million Dollar Title which ticks Gorilla off. Brutus has his AWESOME music at this point. Beefcake jumps DiBiase to start to tick off Jesse as well. Ted bails to the floor and comes back in for some chops, only to be knocked right back to the floor by a right hand. Back in again and Brutus wins a slugout but Vigril trips him up to give DiBiase his first control.

DiBiase pounds away (there’s a lot of punching in this match) and hits the falling punch for two. I love that move. A middle rope ax handle puts Brutus down again but Beefcake reverses a suplex to put DiBiase down right next to him. A double clothesline does the exact same thing but Ted is up first. He tries another suplex which actually works this time, followed by the Million Dollar Dream.

Brutus gets to the rope so they slug it out some more with the barber taking over. Now Beefcake throws on his own sleeper but gets sent out to the floor in a counter. Virgil interferes a bit to distract Beefcake but DiBiase stupidly goes out to the floor as well. They brawl to a double countout to a big boo from the crowd.

Rating: C-. This was mainly a punching match as well as a pretty big fall for DiBiase. To go from the main event to the third match on the card in a year is a pretty big fall, which is saying a lot as DiBiase was still a very evil heel. Brutus was getting very popular very fast and would be paired with Hogan soon after this for a BIG rub.

Brutus beats up Virgil post match and chases them off with the hedge clippers. You know, assault with a deadly weapon as Jesse calls it.

We go to the Wrestlemania brunch with the Bushwhackers eating a lot and trying to talk about their match with the Rougeaus.

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

ALL AMERICAN BOYS BABY! That would be the Rougeau’s theme song and one of the most awesome entrances in company history. Seriously, go Youtube that thing. Jimmy Hart loses his jacket somehow but the Rougeaus save it in a humane act. Not that it matters as the Bushwhackers clear the ring a second later. Luke and Ray start things off and Ray quickly takes him down. I turn my head for a minute and come back to hearing Jesse say “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” Like I said, commentary was a bit different back then.

Luke and Butch clear the ring of Rougeaus again before it’s down to Luke and Jacques. Butch tries to interfere for no apparent reason and Luke gets caught in a Boston Crab. In a sequence that has haunted me for years, Ray loads up Luke for a slam and while Luke is upside down, he rubs Ray’s crotch. There’s nothing more to it than that and to this day I don’t know why he did that.

Anyway Ray puts on an abdominal stretch as a fan or two chants USA. In theory that would be for the Rougeaus here who are the All American Boys facing the guys from New Zealand. The Rougeaus prematurely hug and get caught by the Battering Ram and a double gutbuster is good for the pin on Ray out of nowhere.

Rating: D. It’s a comedy match and not a very fun one. This is called a big upset but I don’t really see how you can call it that. It’s not like either team is great or even good here and the Bushwhackers were still brand new here, so presumably they had won most of their matches up to this point. I don’t get it but whatever.

Sean Mooney is licked by the Bushwhackers and says words can’t describe it. As someone who has been licked by one as well, that’s very true.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

That would be Owen Hart in a kind of superhero gimmick that eventually led to his death. Perfect is pretty new here too and I believe is debuting his singlet look. Hennig hits a quick hiptoss that doesn’t do much at all. Blazer blocks a slap and takes Perfect down to stagger Hennig a bit.

They slightly botch a flip out of a hiptoss and Blazer dropkicks Perfect to the floor. Blazer hits a quick hiptoss (why is that so popular here?) of his own and a dropkick for no cover. A modified northern lights suplex gets two for Blue but a top rope splash hits knees. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments by Perfect but Blazer fights up and hits a standing powerslam and a belly to belly for two each. A crucifix gets two more but Blazer spends too long arguing with the referee and the PerfectPlex ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This match is popular for some reason but it’s only pretty good. Owen would get to show off a lot better later on and the Blazer gimmick didn’t stick around that long. The ending here was clean too which is what Perfect would get quite often around this time. He wouldn’t really do anything of note for about a year though until having a house show feud with Hogan.

Jesse is presented to the crowd again like last year.

Mr. Fuji allegedly runs a 5K run in a tuxedo.

To really make this show feel bloated, here’s Run DMC with the Wrestlemania Rap.

We recap the double tag team turn at Survivor Series 1988 with Fuji leaving Demolition to hook up with the Powers of Pain.

Demolition says they’re ready for Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending and this is a handicap match. Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax pounding him down quickly. Smash comes in for a double beatdown and it’s off to a neck crank. Back to Ax for the same move and he yells at Fuji a bit. The Demolition beatdown ensues but Warlord powers Ax over to the corner for a tag to Barbarian. He shoves Smash into the corner and is immediately clotheslined down by a fresh Ax. The crowd is dead here.

Barbie gets double teamed by the champions and Ax hooks a neck crank. Back to Smash who gets chopped down before it’s back to Warlord. The advantage lasts for all of three seconds before the Powers finally get some successful cheating going on. Off to Fuji for the first time for some old man offense that is far better than Heenan or Hart at least. Barbarian comes in again and the yet to be named Kick of Fear puts Ax down again for no cover.

The match continues to stay in second gear at best with both teams barely moving at all. Fuji tries the flashiest move of the match by going up top, only to miss Ax. Gorilla: “He hasn’t wrestled in years, just like us.” Jesse: “Us? For Fuji and I it’s been years. For you many years.” Barbarian gets clotheslined down again and it’s off to Smash as everything breaks down. Fuji loads up his salt but hits Warlord by mistake. The Demolition Decapitator is enough to end Fuji and retain the titles.

Rating: D. I’m a fan of Demolition but this was a REALLY weak performance by both teams. The Powers would split soon after this which was the best idea for both guys as they were never going to break through the ceiling with Demolition on top. The title reign would continue to go on for another two months or so, reaching at nearly a year and a half.

Randy Savage has nothing to say other than he’s ready for Hogan.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

For absolutely no apparent reason, Jimmy Snuka is brought out after the wrestlers’ intros. Bravo jumps him from behind to open the match before it’s off to a bearhug. That goes about three seconds do Dino loads up a powerbomb instead. Garvin escapes and starts a flurry of offense and gets two off a jackknife cover. A sleeper is easily broken up by Bravo and he breaks up a piledriver as well. Garvin tries to pound away in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop and the side suplex for the pin by Bravo.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything to get the crowd going which is a big problem with this show: the crowd doesn’t care about most of this stuff and why in the world would they? This is a random match between two guys that have no reason to fight and have no future as a main talent. Nothing to see here at all.

Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, gets beaten down by Garvin post match just because.

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

This is the return of Strike Force after Martel had a bad injury. Blanchard and Martel start things off and Rick almost immediately has to punch out of the wrong corner. Off to Anderson who gets rammed face first into the mat before being put in his own test of strength on the mat. Arn catches Martel in a body scissors but Rick turns it over into his signature Boston Crab.

Blanchard makes the save but Tito immediately comes in to put him in the Figure Four. Martel puts one on Anderson as well as things break down. We get some near falls by Tito but he accidentally hits the forearm on Martel to take him out. Rick gets ticked off as Tito is basically in a handicap match. The Busters get to take over on Tito but you know Santana can hang with either guy.

Arn goes up but gets slammed down, allowing Tito to set up a hot tag to….no one. Martel drops down to the floor and walks out on his partner, officially making it a handicap match. The yet to be named spinebuster from Anderson plants Tito and it’s back to Blanchard. Tully blocks a monkey flip and the spike piledriver kills Tito dead for the pin.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night so far as all four guys were moving out there. Tito could go with the best of them and he had some of the best of them to do that with in this one. Martel and Santana would feud on and off for about a year until they just stopped fighting out of nowhere.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Tito and that’s that.

It’s time for the return of Roddy Piper in Piper’s Pit, but after a long introduction by Fink, we get Brother Love in a kilt instead. You younguns might know him as Bruce Prichard from Gut Check. Love interviews “himself” and does one heck of a Roddy Piper impression in the process. Morton Downey Jr., a kind of forefather to Jerry Springer, is the actual guest. He runs to the ring and immediately lights up a cigarette and gay jokes abound about Love.

Now the real Piper comes out to make fun of Love for being feminine. Roddy won’t let Love answer any questions by saying he doesn’t really want to know that badly. Morton is on his fifth cigarette or so at this point. This goes on FOREVER until Love says he’s a bit Scotch. You know, as in from Scotland. Piper rips off Love’s kilt and the Brother sprints off. Finally we get to Downey who implies he slept with Piper’s mom.

Morton keeps blowing smoke in Piper’s face as Piper makes fun of Downey for having warts on his face. Piper gets annoyed with the smoke and Downey calls him a transvestite. Roddy asks for a smoke of his own and sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This took FIFTEEN MINUTES, as in longer than all but the main event tonight.

We get an ad for No Holds Barred, Hogan’s acting debut.

Donald Trump likes hosting Wrestlemania.

Ventura goes into a hilarious rant against Hogan for invading Hollywood because Hogan needs a job after Savage beats him tonight. Jesse shouts that Hulk can drive his limo and storms off.

We recap the Megapowers feud as intermission continues. Basically Savage won the title at Mania 4 then teamed up with Hogan. Hogan kept getting the pins and finally at Main Event II, Savage accidentally wiped out Elizabeth. Hogan took Liz to the back to get attention but it left Savage alone. Finally Savage slapped Hogan and turned heel again, leading to the heel promo of a lifetime as he ERUPTED on Hogan, letting out every bit of his pent up rage and jealousy before blasting Hogan with the title in the medical room.

Hogan says it was Savage eaten alive by the jealousy and the title is coming home tonight. This somehow turns into a talk about destroying the Trump Plaza, which I think he touched on last year too.

Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts

Big John Studd is referee and comes out to what would become Jim Duggan’s music. This was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd but Studd left before it went anywhere. Sometime before the match, Andre and Heenan get the turnbuckle pad off and Jake goes face first into the steel. Ventura and Gorilla talk about David vs. Goliath (Jesse: “He used a foreign object.”) as Jake reaches for the snake bag. That goes nowhere so Studd crushes him in the corner.

Andre looks so different than he did two years ago. In Detroit he looked like a killing machine but here he looks like a lumbering oaf. Giant steps on Jake a few times but Roberts comes back with some strikes. He knocks Andre into the ropes and chokes away, only to see Andre get his arm loose and choke Jake right back.

In a moment that I’ve never seen explained, Andre fires some shoulders into Jake in the corner, only to stagger backwards. I’m guessing Jake was supposed to knee him (the announcers suggested he did) but Jake’s legs never moved. Either way, Roberts pounds away a bit before being knocked to the floor. Studd and Andre get in a shoving match as Ted DiBiase runs out to steal the snake. Andre chokes Studd until Jake chases DiBiase down and gets the snake back. He slides Damien in and the giant runs from the smaller referee giant, giving Jake the DQ win.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match that didn’t go anywhere here as it was hard to buy Jake as being a threat to Andre while at the same time it was hard to be intimidated by the Giant due to how old and banged up he was. Nothing match here which was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd, but instead Studd retired so Andre got a tag title reign instead.

Sensational Sherri wants to fight Rockin Robin and hopes Liz gets hurt today.

Greg Valentine/Honky Tonk Man vs. Hart Foundation

Valentine and Honky aren’t Rhythm and Blues yet. Bret and Honky start and it’s atomic drops all around. Honky sells his hilariously but Greg plays it a bit more serious. Off to Anvil for some power but Bret misses the middle rope elbow. The beating begins and you know Hart is going to sell things very well. Valentine gets to pound away as Gorilla says Greg isn’t warmed up yet.

Honky hits the Shake Rattle and Roll but tags in Valentine for the Figure Four instead. Greg gets rolled up for two instead as Gorilla goes NUTS complaining about Honky not covering. The hot tag brings in Anvil again to clean house on both heels. A great clothesline gets two on the Hammer before it’s back to Bret for the middle rope elbow. Everything breaks down and Bret gets Jimmy Hart’s megaphon to drill Honky for the pin.

Rating: D+. Enough filler matches already! This is probably the fourth match out of ten so far that have been there with no particular reason for it to happen. The show is already well over two and a half hours now and there are still four matches to go. That’s one of the problems with the late 80s: they made the shows long for the sake of having them be long.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior which is basically just because Rude attacked Warrior at the Rumble Super Posedown and the champion wants revenge.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior is defending but Rude has the belt imprinted on his tights. Rude tries a knee to the ribs but hits the belt by mistake. Warrior immediately takes over with the power game and LAUNCHES Rude into the corner. The champ throws on a bearhug for a bit until Rude finally pokes him in the eyes to escape. Rude busts out a MISSILE DROPKICK for two but gets launched off Warrion on the kickout.

Back to the hearhug but Rude gets out the same way as he did the first time. Warrior responds by biting Rude in the face but the splash hits knees. A piledriver puts Warrior down but Rick can’t immediately cover. It only gets two but the kickout is much weaker than earlier. Rude tries to swivel his hips but his back is too messed up. He cranks back on Warrior’s arms but the champion gets to the ropes and starts shaking away.

Here come the shoulders from Warrior and he plants Rude face first into the mat a few times. Warrior tries a slam or something but drops Rude and almost puts him on the floor. Rude gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Warrior but the Rude Awakening is broken through pure power. Rick is clotheslined to the floor and Warrior suplexes him back in, only to have Heenan trip Warrior up and hold down his foot for the shocking upset and the title to Rude. This might have been Warrior’s first televised loss but I don’t think it was.

Rating: B. This is one of those pairings that just worked no matter what you had them do. You often hear about people having chemistry and that’s what you had here: these two could just work well together for no apparent reason and this is a fine example. Warrior would get the title back later in the year before moving to the world title scene a few months later. Good match here.

Warrior beats up Heenan post match. Remember that for later.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

This show MUST continue! Again no reason to this match and they’re just fighting to fill in another five minutes on this already WAY too long card. They punch each other a lot and Duggan knocks him to the floor. Brown comes back in with his judo stuff but misses the Ghetto Blaster (running enziguri). Bad News gets annoyed and goes to the floor for a chair but Duggan hits it with the board for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. This is the twelfth match on this show and we’re over three hours and three minutes into it already. There is no reason at all for this to be continuing but it is anyway just because. Duggan would go on to feud with whoever he could find as would Brown, showing why this match didn’t need to happen at all.

Red Rooster says he’ll beat Heenan and it’ll be a great day in the barnyard.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

There’s actually a backstory: Heenan managed Rooster but said he was limited so Rooster dumped Heenan. Bobby is hurt so he brings the Brooklyn Brawler with him. Those sentences take as long to type as the match lasts as Rooster hits him once, Heenan misses a charge into the post, gets whipped into the buckle and the match is over in 30 seconds. To recap, Rooster beat him with an Irish whip.

Just to drag this out EVEN LONGER, the Brawler beats the Rooster up, because WE HAVE TO PUSH BROOKLN FREAKING BRAWLER.

Liz says she’ll be in a neutral corner tonight and won’t cheer for either guy in the main event.

Tony Schiavone and Sean Mooney fill in even MORE time.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

This is huge and Savage is on fire here. As I said Liz is in a neutral corner despite never being Hogan’s manager as a singles guy ever. Savage comes out first for no apparent reason. Savage immediately heads to the floor to stall as you would expect him to do. The fans HATE him at this point after loving him like crazy a year earlier. Hogan finally shoves Savage down and it’s time to stall some more.

Back up and Hogan shoulders him down again for the third trip to the floor for Savage. As Jesse and Gorilla get in an argument over the value of managers, Savage grabs a headlock. Hulk shoves him off and Randy heads outside, only to hide behind Liz in a truly evil move. Back in again and Hogan actually uses a nice amateur move and hooks a front facelock. That wasn’t bad at all. Savage powers out of it (surprising as well) and pokes Hogan in the eye to take over.

A top rope ax handle gets one on Hogan and it’s off to an armbar. In something you don’t often see, Hogan is pulled down to the mat by his hair. It feels weird even typing that. Hulk uses a handful of trunks to launch Randy out to the floor and Jesse freaks out. Back in and a clothesline puts Randy down, followed by a series of elbow drops. Hulk is bleeding above the eye.

Randy gets in a shot to the face and puts on a fast sleeper which is transitioned into a chinlock. Hulk comes back with an atomic drop but an elbow drop misses. A shot into the buckle sets up a rollup with trunks for two on Hulk. Savage stomps on his fingers which ticks Hogan off. Hogan slams Savage to the floor where the champion doesn’t want Liz’s help. Hulk follows him out and rams Randy’s face into the barricade.

Savage escapes being posted and sends Hogan in by mistake. After sending Hulk back in, Randy yells at Liz a bit more and shoves her up the aisle. The referee ejects Liz, making the only interesting factor a nonfactor. Back to the floor and Savage drops the ax handle off the top to send Hogan throat first into the barricade. Savage goes after the throat with various evil measures but the elbow only gets two. Hulk Up, big boot, leg drop, new champion.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan vs. Savage so these two are always going to have at least a watchable match, but at the end of the day this was pretty much designed to be a Hogan win and that’s what it wound up being. The smart move would be to have Savage keep the title by DQ or something, causing Hulk to chase the title until Summerslam for the title change. But instead we go with the easy (and not horrible) ending. It’s a good match here but not great.

Hogan celebrates forever to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty terrible. The main words you probably heard me say in here were things like “it keeps going” or “filler”. That’s the problem with this show: there’s WAY too much stuff going on with 14 matches, that stupid rap, and the fifteen minute Piper segment. This show runs nearly three hours and forty minutes which is WAY too much for a single show given what they had going on at this point. Probably five matches at minimum could be called filler here. That’s WAY too much and I can see why this is considered such a lame show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

Redo: D

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

Redo: D-

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Wow that was a rather boring redo.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




I Want To Talk A Little Bit About Triple H

If you’ve followed me over the years, you know I’m not incredibly fond of HHH. He’s done a lot of things over the years that drive both myself and several other fans insane but that’s not all there is to him at all. While also being an infuriating person at times, HHH is also one of the most talented and decorated names in wrestling history. Today we’re going to take a look at his career and the good and bad over the years and look at why people need to calm down about him. Let’s get to it.

 

HHH has been around the WWE for going on twenty years now and there has definitely been a lot of good and bad. First off let’s take a look at the bad in HHH, which will be the shorter of these lists.

 

One of the biggest criticism of HHH is a fair one: he’s not as good as he thinks he is. HHH has never been one to shy away from lumping himself in there with Rock and Austin, despite there being no real justification for this. Jim Cornette once called HHH the guy that worked with the guy that drew money. There’s no denying that HHH isn’t great, but he’s at the top of the second tier of wrestlers like Bret, Shawn, Orton and Savage. There’s nothing wrong with being on that level, but there’s a big gap between it and the next level.

 

Part of the reason why he isn’t on that level is how badly he collapses in attempts to have the big match or big story. Now HHH has had his share of classics which we’ll get to later, but far too often he tries to have THE match and it just doesn’t work. Let’s take a look at his match against Randy Orton from Wrestlemania 25.

 

The story coming into the match was Orton tormenting HHH and terrorizing his family to get the WWE Title. The match wound up having a stipulation saying that if HHH was disqualified, he lost the title. This went completely against the story they had been telling and took away what the match should have been. On top of that, the match ended with HHH just beating the tar out of Orton, hitting the Pedigree and retaining. He stood over Orton like a beast over its prey and the show ended. The general reaction seemed to be “that’s it?” There was no big comeback, there was no big brutal spot, there was no real conclusion. It was just HHH standing over him in a symbolic ending which just didn’t work.

 

Speaking of endings, another problem with HHH is his feuds go on WAY too long. We’ll start with Orton again. These two feuded for over a year and the matches just didn’t work. Orton may have been one of HHH’s projects but the whole thing just didn’t work. The matches weren’t very good, the story just kept going and was eventually going in circles. Over the course of the feud, they managed to have three last man standing matches. As you would expect, people got tired of the story just continuing, especially with the same stuff happening over and over again.

 

Another good example of this and the big epic moment problems came in his feud with Brock Lesnar. The feud started the night after Brock lost in a great match to John Cena at Extreme Rules 2012 in April. The two didn’t fight until Summerslam in August with Brock winning conclusively. How did the show end? With a shot of HHH looking to the crowd and apologizing for not being able to get it done.

 

The feud would continue at Wrestlemania, where HHH got the win before moving on to Extreme Rules 2013 where Brock won the final match inside of a cage. After three matches, the series felt like a bad movie series: the first match was good but not great, the second match wasn’t necessary but was watchable, and the third match just didn’t need to happen but did anyway. HHH getting the win at Wrestlemania was the only logical way to do the trilogy, but it also drew criticisms that HHH had to get the win on the biggest stage in the match the most people would remember.

 

This brings us to 2003 and Wrestlemania XIX. HHH came into the match as World Heavyweight Champion and defended against Booker T. The story was that “someone like Booker T” didn’t deserve to be champion. While the storyline explanation was that HHH meant Booker’s criminal past, there were heavy racial overtones to what HHH was saying. What happened at Wrestlemania? HHH won with a Pedigree to retain the title.

 

That scene is a great representation of the biggest thing holding HHH back: late 2002-2004. This was an AWFUL period for both HHH and the WWE in general with HHH’s title reigns being major factors. Ignoring the creation of the World Heavyweight Championship and the splitting of the titles, HHH had some of the worst matches of his career in this stretch.

 

His 3 Stages of Hell match with Shawn, the matches with Nash, the Goldberg series, the Scott Steiner feud and some of the Orton matches are just dreadful but HHH just kept the title for months on end with the same matches with the same story (“I’m the best.” “No I’m the best.” Flair interfered, HHH keeps the title) and nothing ever changing despite the talent pool on Raw. HHH would finally break out of this period, but man alive was it hard to sit through.

 

We’ll wrap it up with something else difficult to sit through: HHH’s promos. There are times when they’re very solid, but some of those things go on long enough to plant a farm and grow your own dinner. He takes about nine breaths between sentences and drones on about THIS BUSINESS, how he is THE GAME and how he’ll prove he’s the best in the world. Long heel promos can work, but you should want to see the villain get beaten up, not change the channel out of boredom.

 

Now that we’ve gotten all that bad stuff out of the way, let’s take a look at the good side of HHH’s career, because there’s a lot to get to. Since there’ s more good than bad, we’ll be going through it with more of a timeline format.

 

He arrived as the blue blood (basically the same gimmick he had in WCW when they said he had no future as a singles guy) named Hunter Hearst Helmsley and hooked up with Mr. Perfect before feuding with Marc Mero. The character can best be described as a pompous snob who looked down on everyone for not having as much money or power as he had. He was also obsessed with people’s family history and how much better his was than yours. In other words, he was obsessed with his pedigree. His theme music was Ode to Joy by Beethoven and it was the perfect addition to his character.

 

The character was absolutely perfect for HHH at that time as he could play a perfect snob. With the curtseying, the huge nose in the air, the classical music and the “I’m better than you” attitude, it was nearly impossible to not punch this guy in the face. He nailed the character and was slowly pushed up the card and won the Intercontinental Title, holding it for about four months.

 

Next up was DX which is the character that changed everything for HHH. All of a sudden he was being able to act like the sophomoric jerk that he was but on camera and with millions of people watching him. The group turned face after Wrestlemania XIV and was put into a feud with the Nation of Domination, triggering a personal rivalry with the Rock (who happened to be the man that took the Intercontinental Title from him).

 

HHH’s time as the face leader of DX was some very entertaining stuff and one of the biggest reasons the Attitude Era worked. Instead of just having clean cut faces and heels, all of a sudden the faces were making adult jokes and being over the top funny. Aside from Steve Austin vs. Vince, DX was the biggest deal in the company and HHH was a huge part of that.

 

By late 1999, DX was all but done and HHH was moving into singles competition. He started talking about it being his time and how he would be the next WWF Champion. While that wasn’t exactly right, he would be take the title from the next WWF Champion, winning the belt the night after Summerslam 1999.

 

This didn’t quite work as HHH was still viewed as a glorified midcarder. He would be champion a few times around this point, starting his third reign in January 2000 (remember that, as it becomes important later). However, the most important thing for him was his on screen marriage to Stephanie McMahon, who he kidnapped, married and raped before she turned on her father and joined HHH at Armageddon 1999.

 

The McMahon-Helmsley Faction was born through this union and would dominate the company for the next few months. This would be HHH’s first time as a brutal dictator who ran the company with an iron first. It would also be perfect for him as HHH became one of the best heel characters ever, with the fans absolutely dying to see him get what was coming to him. HHH became the Cerebral Assassin, a man who could fight but would rather out think his opponents to beat hem.

 

One of the most important moments during this time was his match against Cactus Jack at the 2000 Royal Rumble. We’ll go into that match more later, but the most important thing about the match was HHH’s evolution beyond the Cerebral Assassin. For once in his career he had no way to keep his title other than to stand up and fight, which he did in one of the best matches ever.

 

This run went on for awhile until HHH was revealed as the man behind Steve Austin being run over by a car. The two feuded for months until they fought in a 3 Stages of Hell match at No Way Out, which happened to be another of the best matches ever. The two would form a questionable bond a few months later until HHH tore his quad in another great match with Austin against Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho.

 

HHH would be gone for the rest of 2001 (luckily missing the Invasion) and returning in January 2002 with one of the loudest pops ever heard in Madison Square Garden. He later turned heel and attacked Shawn Michaels, leading to a nearly two year on again/off again feud. Not all of the matches were great, but the first one at Summerslam 2002 is as good of a fight as you’ll be able to find for a long time.

 

We’re going to jump forward to the end of Evolution as Batista wins the 2005 Royal Rumble and chooses to fight HHH at Wrestlemania XXI. After ruining Randy Orton’s face turn (more on that later as well), HHH put Batista over on three straight pay per views, including once inside the Cell. He then took some time off and returned to feud with Ric Flair, culminating in a great old school cage match at Taboo Tuesday 2005.

 

Next up was a DX reunion with Shawn Michaels and I’m really not sure if I should put it in with the good or the bad. The story dominated 2006 and saw HHH and Shawn torture Vince McMahon who fought back with his handpicked associated. The matches weren’t all that good but it was more harmless than anything else. This was followed by a feud with Rated RKO which was cut short as HHH tore his quad again.

 

After returning in 2007, HHH would win the WWE Title again that fall and enter a long feud with Randy Orton. Again we’ll skip that and get to Summerslam 2008, where HHH worked what can almost be described as a miracle: he got a good match out of Great Khali. Many have tried but he’s the only person to really pull it off. He followed it up with a very solid feud against Jeff Hardy, eventually being in the match where Hardy FINALLY won the title.

 

We’ll jump ahead to February of 2011 where HHH challenged Undertaker to a match at Wrestlemania. The match was good but I never bought HHH as a real threat to the Streak. Their rematch a year later inside the Cell was FAR better though and was a contender for match of the year. Soon after HHH started a feud with Brock Lesnar, leading to a match at Summerslam 2011. Again it was good but not all that great.

 

Our last jump brings us to modern times with HHH and Stephanie as the Authority, the on-screen owners of the company. After months of going back and forth as a face or a heel, HHH would finally establish himself as a heel and set up his match with Daniel Bryan at Wrestlemania XXX, which will take place about three weeks after this is being written. I can’t imagine it not being great though.

 

Now let’s take a look at the major good themes of HHH’s career.

 

First of all, HHH can play one heck of a villain. As I said, that run he had in 2000 as the WWF Champion when he feuded with the Rock is right up there with Hollywood Hogan in 1996/1997 and Ted DiBiase in 1988 as the greatest heel runs ever. There’s just something about HHH talking down to people that makes you want to see a hero get his teeth kicked in which is exactly what you want in a heel.

 

Think about this for a minute. HHH kidnapped a woman, forced her to marry him, then got her on his side and took over the company. If that isn’t evil, I don’t know what more you could be expecting. The key to it though was he got what was coming to him at the hands of both The Rock and Steve Austin who beat his teeth in over the second half of 2000. The same thing is likely to happen when he faces Bryan at Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine the match ending with anything other than Bryan taking HHH’s head off with a running knee or making him tap out.

 

Speaking of matches, I can barely count how many classics HHH has had. Let’s look at this for a second. There are the two street fights and the Cell match with Cactus Jack, almost any big match he had with Rock with the ladder match in particular, his wars with Steve Austin, the triple threats with Shawn and Benoit, the unsanctioned match with Shawn at Summerslam 2002, the miracle against Great Khali, his three Wrestlemania matches with Undertaker and some very solid stuff with Cena and Flair. I’m sure I’m missing a bunch but the reality is clear: the guy has been having great matches for over 15 years now. That just doesn’t happen in wrestling.

 

He’s also had a natural evolution to his character. HHH started off as a blue blood who thought he was better than everyone else before switching over to saying screw that, I want to have fun. However he eventually abandoned the goofiness and embraced the core of his character: a man obsessed with power who would do whatever it took to take over the company. Now he’s in charge of the company and is trying to be civilized but occasionally loses control and agrees to do something that gets him in trouble.

 

Before we wrap this up, let’s bust up a few myths about HHH.

 

Quite often you’ll hear people say that he became the star that he is because he married the boss’ daughter. Here’s the thing: by the time they started dating, allegedly in early 2000, HHH was a two time WWF Champion (he won his third title on January 3, 2000 so it was three reigns unless they started dating on the first two days of the year), a two time Intercontinental Champion and the King of the Ring. Marry Stephanie was definitely a boost, but HHH was going to be a big star no matter what.

 

Another story you hear about HHH is that he invented his own world title. I’ve heard multiple versions of this, with the main story being that the Intercontinental Title was to be the top title on Raw with HHH dominating that belt. Think about that for a second and you’ll see that it doesn’t make sense. At the end of the day, Raw is THE show for WWE and having a glorified midcard title as its centerpiece just wasn’t going to work. WWE making another title made sense and HHH just happened to be the guy that got it. To suggest that it was all his idea is illogical.

 

Next up is the theory that he pushed his buddies (Shawn, Sheamus, Batista etc) to the moon. Does anyone really want to argue that those three weren’t going to get pushed anyway? Sheamus gets some of the loudest pops on the show, Shawn is as talented a guy as you’ll ever hear, and Batista has been a big star every time WWE has used him. Yeah HHH pushed his buddies, and they’ll all turned out fine.

 

Sticking with the buddy thing for a minute, why is this something that HHH gets bashed for so much? It’s a common practice in wrestling to push your friends and HHH is really one of the weakest offenders. Ole Anderson nearly put WCW under by pushing his buddies in the early 90s. Hulk Hogan had BRUTUS BEEFCAKE in the main event of Starrcade. Back when Vince took over the WWF, how many of the people that got pushed were people who were loyal to him? There are multiple other instances but the point is clear: HHH isn’t the first guy with power to push his friends and he won’t be the last. It happens all the time and it’s been FAR worse over the years.

 

Let’s look at one last thing: HHH dominated the world title. If HHH gets blasted for this, he’s fourth worst at best. Since the time the titles were split, HHH has won eight world titles. This puts him fourth in that span after Edge with eleven, Randy Orton with twelve and John Cena with fourteen. Edge won eleven world titles in the span of just over five years, or over two titles a year. HHH might have held the belt longer than Orton and Edge, but HHH didn’t win and lose it as often for as many cheap title reigns. While they’re boring, I’d take one of HHH’s long reigns over five of Edge’s month long reigns any day.

 

Overall, the good outweighs the bad with HHH. There are just so many outstanding matches and segments (I could have gone on for several more pages breaking down his matches and why they’re as awesome as they are) that they overshadow the bad stuff. The problem is the bad stuff is REALLY bad with 2003 being one of the roughest years I can ever remember in wrestling. That run he had in 2000/2001 is as good a stretch as you’ll ever find in wrestling and his period where he was the veteran who was seeing how much he had left is quite a run as well. There’s just so much to rave about there and it’s unfair to criticize him as much as people (including myself) do.

 

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Thought of the Day: This Time For Sure!

It’s about psychology today.Let’s look at Ric Flair for a minute.  Over the years, Ric Flair has climbed to the top rope for a high risk move approximately 43,392 times and has been successful on about 4 of those attempts (however he did win the NWA World Title at Starrcade 1983 in one of those attempts).

Now the question has always been why would Flair keep going up there when he knows it doesn’t work.  This is wrestling fans over thinking what they’re watching.  Flair was a heel more often than not, so he would be overconfident.  As an overconfident heel, Flair is going to think he can do stuff that he really can’t pull off.  Even though he failed so often at this move, heel Flair would think that THIS TIME it had to work.  There was no way that whatever loser he was fighting this time could slam the Nature Boy off the top.  It’s how a cocky heel would think.  Cocky and overconfident wrestlers are going to do stupid stuff all the time and the fans are going to be happy to see them be proven wrong.  Flair did the spot a lot because it made sense every single time.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: psychology is the most important thing in the ring and it makes matches so much better.

 

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Wrestler of the Day – March 7: Val Venis

Hello ladies. And gentlemen. Today we have Val Venis.

Val got his start in Canada before quickly moving to Puerto Rico. He and Shane Sewell (you might remember him as a wrestling referee in TNA) formed a tag team called the Canadian Glamour Boys but eventually split, leading to a feud. From some time in 1997 in the WWC.

Glamour Boy Shane vs. Sean Morely

Shane immediately scores with a dropkick and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside. Sean gets punched in the face but comes back with a right hand of his own as the brawling continues. Morely hammers away against the barricade but gets whipped into the steel before they finally get back inside.

It’s Morely in control by stomping away in the corner, allowing I believe Ricky Santana to get in some cheap shots from the floor. A hard clothesline takes Shane down and Sean tosses him outside. Back in again and we hit the sleeper on the Glamour Boy but he fight sup and counters into one of his own. Sean rams him into the corner for the break but runs into a powerslam for two.

Shane pulls Morely out of the corner but gets caught in a wicked German suplex for two. A regular suplex is countered into a rollup for two by Shane but Sean comes right back with a running neckbreaker. Shane grabs a loose dragon suplex for a near fall but walks into a powerbomb for two.

Morely loads up a chokeslam but gets countered with a Stunner for two. There’s a middle rope elbow from Shane and both guys are down. Sean slams him and hits the top rope splash but Shane is up again. Two fisherman’s suplexes gets two each on Morely but the third is enough for the pin. That’s quite the finishing sequence.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’m not sure about that finish. Is it really a finisher if you just keep doing the same move over and over until you get a pin? Morely looked good and it’s clear why he would get a big time job soon. Shane felt like he was just trying to keep up with Sean out there but he would become a huge deal in Puerto Rico over the years.

Morely would be hired by the WWF in early 1998 and become the character he was most famous as: adult star Val Venis. His first feud was with Japanese stable Kai En Tai but we’ll skip over that and jump to Summerslam 1998 and Val’s first title shot against European Champion D’Lo Brown.

European Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown

Brown is defending and there’s no story to this that I remember. It has a sixty minute time limit, just in case the lower midcard title match in the opening slot pushes going Broadway. Since we’re in MSG we have the old school set with the entrance opposite the cameras instead of off to one side. This is Venis’ first title shot and D’Lo is doing a gimmick where he’s from a different European city each time with tonight being Helsinki. He’s also part of the Nation of Domination here but only has his chest protector for an advantage here.

Brown shoves him into the ropes to start and they slap hands. The champion also slaps Val’s face to tick him off as JR tells us about Austin destroying a hearse which may have had Undertaker or Kane inside. Brown hits a standing splash with the chest protector for added impact to take over. A splash misses in the corner though and Venis takes over with a Russian legsweep. After a quick breather on the floor, Brown comes back in to run the ropes but he gets caught in a spinebuster. A newcomer named Edge is watching in the crowd.

Venis misses a splash and gets caught in a belly to back suplex to give Brown control again. Val comes back with an overhead t-bone suplex but walks into a clothesline followed by a legdrop for two. A leg lariat and a middle rope elbow gets the same and Val is holding his back for some reason. Brown follows up on the injury with a Texas Cloverleaf but lets it go after only a few seconds. Did he learn submissions from No Mercy? Brown misses a middle rope senton and both guys are down. The fans are much more into this than you would expect them to be.

Val hits some running knees to the ribs and a backdrop for no cover. He tries a high cross body but gets caught in a Sky High (lifting powerbomb) which gets a delayed two count. Brown hits a quick DDT but dives off the middle rope into a powerslam for two. A butterfly suplex sets up the Money Shot (top rope splash) but Brown gets his knees up.

The fans LOUDLY chant for D’Lo but he can’t get Val all the way up for a powerbomb. Another try is good for a running Liger Bomb but the Low Down frog splash misses. Val finally rips off the chest protector and puts it on himself before going up top. The referee tries to pull him down and crotches him, earning a toss from Val for the DQ.

Rating: C+. I was digging this until the lame ending. The problem here was the match built up over fifteen minutes and then hit a brick wall with a referee crotching a guy on the top and then complaining that the guy was hurt. That’s not a satisfactory ending to a match with that long of a build, but at least the build was good.

Val’s next feud would be with Dustin Runnels over Dustin’s wife Terri. That was Val’s schtick for a long time: stealing wrestlers’ girls and making movies with them. Here’s their showdown from Breakdown 1998.

Val Venis vs. Dustin Runnels

 

Val has Terri come out with him, basically wearing underwear and a dress with one button holding it together. A quick spinebuster puts Dustin down but Val gets his face slammed into the mat to put him down. Dustin powerbombs Val down and pounds away but Venis rakes his eyes. They head outside where Val clotheslines him inside out and the match goes back inside.

 

Dustin scores with a backdrop and fires off more right hands in the corner but gets caught by some knees to the ribs and a Russian legsweep. Venis gyrates his hips (with Terri doing the same) before punching Dustin in the face over and over. We hit a camel clutch for a bit with Dustin screaming for Terri. Back outside and Runnels is dropped face first onto the announce table. They head inside where Dustin gets two off a belly to back suplex, only to get distracted by Terri and put in a chinlock.

 

The announcers try to figure out who to blame for the marriage falling apart with JR reminding us that Dustin walked out on his family just a few months ago. Dustin fights up and hits a quick DDT for two, only to get caught on the top rope. Val looks to set up a superplex but instead dumps Dustin over the top and out to the floor, sending him face first into the apron.

 

Val heads to the floor as well but gets distracted by Terri’s leg right in front of Dustin. Venis teases leaving but sneaks back in for a rollup for two. Dustin hits his bulldog for another near fall, despite Venis screwing up by not moving an inch. The crowd is confused but Val comes back with a powerslam and some elbow drops, followed by the Money Shot for the pin.

 

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good at all with a lot of boring non-action and a really bad botch with that two count. Dustin continues to fall even further into his black hole as Venis is on the rise so to speak. The solution of course was to bring Goldust back for the ultimate revenge, which was probably the best idea for everyone concerned.

Val’s next title shot would be at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre against Intercontinental Champion Ken Shamrock. This feud would be over Ken’s sister Ryan.

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Val Venis

Ken is defending. Lawler almost loses his mind over seeing Ryan in a short, strapless white dress. For the sake of clarity, I’ll only refer to Ken as Shamrock here. Ken charges into the ring and the fight is on immediately. It’s Val in early control though with some right hands and a clothesline to the back of the head to put Shamrock down. Shamrock sends him into the corner to take over and whips him across the ring into the other corner.

Ken pounds on Val on the mat and gets glared at by Billy to give Venis a breather. Back in and Val gets a quick suplex for two before firing off knees to the chest. A butterfly suplex puts Shamrock down again and Val bends him over his knee to work on the back. They head outside again where Val works on the back again before taking it inside for a camel clutch. Ken comes back with some right hands but gets caught in a double chickenwing rollup for two.

We hit the chinlock on the champion for a bit before Val hits a knee to the ribs for a VERY delayed two count. Shamrock grabs a DDT for a slightly faster two but Billy just stops before counting three. Val charges into an elbow in the corner and a powerslam gets two but Val kicks out before Billy can stop. Venis grabs a fisherman’s suplex and Billy makes very sure to get a good angle before counting.

A Russian legsweep puts Ken down and it’s time to grind a bit. Shamrock hits a quick hurricanrana and a belly to belly to set up the ankle lock but Ryan pulls Val’s hands to the rope. Ryan slaps Ken in the face and Billy punches him for good measure. Back inside and Val grabs a quick small package for the fastest three count ever for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but it was much more about the angle than the match. That would be the case for the Intercontinental Title for months to come and the title would suffer as a result. It also didn’t help that the stories never got a proper payoff because of some screwy changes in booking right before Wrestlemania.

The title reign would only last about a month but that was often the case with the Intercontinental Title around this time. After nothing special for most of the year, Val would have a match against Mankind at No Mercy 1999.

Val Venis vs. Mankind

Random much? Venis has a copy of Foley’s book, which really did rock. Venis was given a way too solid push around this time and this is no exception. Foley is shown in the back helping Rock on the stretcher. We start on the floor of course. There’s not much to talk about here. Mankind pulls Mr. Rocko out of Val’s tights which is as stupid as you would think it is. We hit the floor for awhile and the Claw is on.

Val breaks it by slamming Foley’s head into the post. Nicely done. So Foley has a head injury. Val, using intelligence, goes for THE HEAD. Are you paying attention people? Using simple things like that can make a match that much better. This is a better match than I was expecting. Val hits an elbow to the back of the head and Foley isn’t moving at all. Money Shot misses. Double Arm DDT gets two. I’m liking it. Both guys have socks. Mankind grabs the mouth and Val grabs Foley’s balls. Ok then. That knocks Mankind out…for the pin? What the….heck? Holy head scratcher Batman. Foley gets Rocko back to end this.

Rating: B-. The story made sense here is nothing else. That’s the biggest thing it has going for it I guess. Foley continues to job for everyone. I still say that he’s the best jobber of all time. Still though, this was a pretty good match that worked well enough given what was going on in it.

Val would pick up the European Title at Armageddon 1999 but lose it a few months later. After returning from a back injury, Val would shed the adult star gimmick and also shedding his hair while gaining Trish Stratus as a manager. This would prove to be a success for him as he would pick up another Intercontinental Title. He would defend that title at Fully Loaded 2000 against former champion Rikishi inside a cage.

Intercontinental Title: Rikishi vs. Val Venis

We’re in a cage here. Fink makes sure to point that out despite the BIG FREAKING CAGE around the ring. Apparently Tazz cost Rikishi the title a few weeks ago for reasons unexplained. Also Venis beat up Scotty, which apparently justifies this being in a cage. Trish is Val’s manager here and is dressed in her more traditional attire here, meaning she still looks great. Apparently Rikishi gave Trish a stink face to start this.

Lawler asks if you can imagine someone putting their fat in her face? There’s a bit of wishful sounding in his voice there. Lawler isn’t sure if this is no holds barred. Seriously? He follows this up by asking what happened to that long hair Val had? Ross: “well King I would assume he got it cut.” I love Ross at times. They’re rare but they exist.

Rikishi, ever the Rhodes Scholar, tries to climb over the top instead of going through the door like anyone with a freaking mind. Why do faces have to have so much stupid pride like that? Val takes over with some bad shots to the cage. To be fair though he’s having to deal with something that has its own gravitational force.

He hits a low blow to block a stink face and then hits a weird looking move that I think was supposed to be a bulldog but turned into more or less a forearm to the back of the head. I think it was a semi botch by one of them but I’m not sure. Rikishi of course does his inside out bump.

Val, also an idiot, goes up the cage as well instead of through the door. My goodness how hard is it to just walk through the freaking thing? They fight on the top rope which Val wins, but with Rikishi down in the position for Val’s finisher, does he go for it? Of course not. Why should he when he can walk the ropes and hit an elbow instead? Val almost gets out but is caught by the fat that blocked out the sun.

They mess up badly though as Rikishi’s head is hurt by ramming it into the cage. He’s a Samoan so therefore his head can’t be hurt. Come on now people don’t you know your stereotypes yet? Val is bleeding and thankfully we don’t go to black and white to hide that. A Banzai Drop gets two as Val gets his foot on the ropes. Great, so in a match with no rules and where anything goes, the ropes are still allowed to break things up. That makes sense.

Thanks to Trish again ignoring all racial stereotypes and slamming the door on Rikishi’s head, the Money Shot gets two. Lita bounces down to the ring and whips Trish with the belt and rips her top off. The beating goes to the back as somehow this is less pointless than modern wrestling. We then get the spot of the night as Rikishi goes up top, and I mean to the top of the cage and dives off, completely crushing Val.

Do Samoans have a fetish for jumping off cages or something? This looked completely amazing and on the replay they mess up worse than I’ve ever seen as the camera totally misses Rikishi. I mean you see no wrestlers and only cage the whole shot. It’s rather funny actually. Since the referee is down from an earlier bump though, there’s no one to count. As Rikishi goes for the door, Tazz comes down and nails him with a camera so Val can pin him.

What the heck man? What’s the point in a huge bump like that unless you change the title with it? That’s just stupid. Oh yeah it’s a Rikishi match so it’s not supposed to make sense. How this guy would become top heel in about 3 months baffles me to no end.

Rating: B-. The match was fine, but seriously, what was the point of the huge spot if Val keeps the title? I know that’s what happened in MSG back in the 80s, but that was legendary whereas this was more or less forgotten a few weeks later. I don’t get it at all. The match was your run of the mill cage match otherwise though as I still hate pins in one of these. It’s not that hard to find a way for one of the guys to get out is it? That bump was INSANE though.

Venis would join up with the Right to Censor and get in a feud with Smackdown commentator Tazz and the APA, culminating in a six man tag at Wrestlemania X7.

Right to Censor vs. APA/Taz

The RTC is a censorship group with Val Venis, Goodfather and Bull Buchanan with Steven Richards outside. They censor stuff, the other three don’t like it, let’s fight. Oh and Jackie is with the good guys but no one cares about her. It’s a big brawl to start with the RTC getting destroyed very quickly. We start with Faarooq vs. Buchanan with Bull hitting the climb the rope clothesline for an early two. Off to Taz who gets kicked in the head and triple teamed by RTC.

Venis comes in with some knees to the ribs for two before it’s off to Goodfather. He continues the destruction of Taz including the non-Ho Train for no cover. There’s the hot tag to Bradshaw as the beating shifts. Venis gets caught in the fallaway slam as everything breaks down. A double spinebuster crushes Venis and there’s a belly to back superplex for good measure. Goodfather misses a charge in the corner and Bradshaw kills him dead with the Clothesline for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is pretty easily the worst match of the show and it’s certainly not bad at all. This was short and almost sweet which is what it was supposed to be. The idea here was to have the censors get beaten up by the Texan and give the fans a good feeling which is exactly what happened. Not a good match or anything but it’s completely watchable.

Soon after Val would have to take a long stretch of time off to recover from hip surgery. After returning to TV at the 2002 Royal Rumble, Venis would start calling himself the Big Valbowski and do nothing of note for a few months before getting hurt again. He would return again in early 2003 as Chief Morely, the new Chief of Staff for Eric Bischoff. Val would be given one half of the Tag Team Titles when Lance Storm’s partner William Regal was injured. They would defend them against Rob Van Dam and Kane on Heat prior to Wrestlemania XIX.

Raw Tag Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm/Chief Morely

The Dudleys are in champions’ corner for no apparent reason. Kane shove Storm to the floor to start and Van Dam kicks Morely’s head off. Van Dam hits a nice flip dive to take out the champions and Kane adds a plancha of his own to pop the crowd. We take a break and come back with the champions in control of Van Dam and Morely grabs a sleeper. Van Dam counters into one of his own but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Rob avoids a splash and makes the tag off to Kane who cleans house with a tilt-a-whirl slam for two on Storm. There’s the top rope clothesline for two more as Morely makes the save. Everything breaks down with the challengers in control and there’s the chokeslam to Storm. RVD loads up the Five Star but Morely shoves him off the top. The Dudleys lay out Storm with the 3D before dropping an elbow on Rob to give Lance the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here which had some strange booking decisions. Kane and Van Dam would take the titles the next night on Raw, so why not just switch them here to fire the crowd up before the show starts? The tag division was really starting to die around this point and having two sets of titles just didn’t work.

After this Val would become a jobber to the stars and a Heat mainstay. One of his matches though was against a guy you might have heard of in January 2005.

Val Venis vs. Ric Flair

Venis takes him down with a shoulder block and commentator Ivory is already getting on my nerves. Flair gets caught in a hammerlock and armbar before a backdrops puts him down. Ric bails to the floor after a slam and comes back inside for a poke to the eye, drawing a HUGE pop from the crowd. Venis tries to chop with Flair and is almost immediately punched down.

The knee drop has Venis in trouble and we suddenly have no commentary. I’ll bump the rating up for that alone. More chops have Flair in control but Venis comes back with another backdrop and a clothesline for two. Val pounds away in the corner and hits ten quick clotheslines to give us the Flair Flop. Venis fires off more corner punches but Flair falls down into a chop block as only he could get away with. Another chop block sets up the Figure Four to give Flair the win.

Rating: C. This was Flair 101 and it still works well enough. The most notable thing here though was Ivory driving me insane on commentary. That screachy voice was bad enough but when the best comment she can have is “It looks like Ric Flair is in control now.” That’s the kind of commentary that’s good for radio but gets annoying on television.

During this stretch Val would face lower level guys and jobbers, but would occasionally be given a wrestler who the company was looking at to see what they could do. That’s quite the honor when you think about it. Here’s the most known example of Val doing this, from May of 2005.

Val Venis vs. CM Punk

They trade hammerlocks to start until Venis runs him over with a shoulder and armdrag. Punk snaps up and tries a rollup to give us a stalemate. They shake hands but Punk runs him over with a clothesline and kicks at Val’s leg. CM slaps on a leg lock but Venis comes back with chops in the corner, only to have his leg wrapped around the post. Punk cranks on the leg even more but Val kicks him away.

Val hits a backdrop but hurts his knee. He fires off clotheslines in the corner and gets two off a neckbreaker. The Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Val but he can’t hit a fisherman’s buster. Punk snaps the knee back and puts on a half crab. Val makes the ropes and hits a half nelson slam followed by the Money Shot for the pin.

Rating: C-. I could see why Punk got a job out of this. Oddly enough he put on a better performance than the seasoned Venis who only sold the knee a little bit. That kind of stuff gets on my nerves in wrestling. If someone works on the knee, you need to do more than holding your knee after doing your regular stuff. The injury should change your offense, not just slow it down.

That’s about it for Morely in WWE as he just did Heat matches and the occasion match on Raw before being released in January 2009. He would show up on Impact on January 4, 2010 as an adult film producer. After people got done rolling their eyes at this gimmick being resurrected, Morely fought Christopher Daniels at Genesis 2010.

Sean Morely vs. Christopher Daniels

Remember, even though Morely is wearing a towel and coming out to the signature music, HE ISN’T VAL VENIS! Brooke gets Morely’s towel. Three times the camera has been on her in less than 30 minutes now. Daniels is the heel here and cuts a bland heel promo before the match which doesn’t work well at all since the fans aren’t buying it. Fourth shot of Brooke.

Daniels in the long tights works much better. Has that thing on his shoulder ever been explained? I don’t think it has been. I’ve always liked Morely. He’s a guy you can almost guarantee a good match out of which is so rare in modern wrestling. Daniels hooks a triangle choke to appeal to the MMA fans out there. Apparently Morely is a true pro. I thought they were all pros.

You can wrestle in TNA as an amateur? They’ve never heard of Mass Transit have they? Morely hits a Blue Thunder Bomb which is one of my favorites in No Mercy so I’m liking this more and more every second. I’m still not sold on a match being made for no apparent reason and then having a PPV match of it 3 days later but then again I’m no professional.

A clothesline is called an STO. That’s expected I guess but still, that wasn’t even close. The Best Moonsault Ever misses and Sean goes for the splash. Since that’s too easy though it doesn’t work, although he hits it a few seconds later which draws Brooke Hogan shot #5.

Rating: C+. Again, not bad at all. Morely is a guy that you can certainly depend on for a good match and it worked well here. Again though, why is this on PPV? Why were they even fighting? That was never explained which is a common theme on this show I think. Also, Morely hasn’t wrestled on the main stage in years and he can beat last month’s world title challenger? That makes perfect sense right?

Val Venis is a very smooth wrestler but he got dragged down by his gimmick. It’s very similar to Terry Taylor in that regard: there’s excellent talent there but at the end of the day, you can’t get past the gimmick. His earlier work is his best when the era fit his character, but later on he was at his best as a jobber to the stars who could make anyone look good. When Venis is on, it’s hard to find a bad match from him which is rarer than you would think.

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