We’ll continue our stretch of tag teams with the Orient Express.

Side note: I had this one scheduled for earlier in the month but I realized having Japanese heels on December 7 might get me in some trouble.

Now this one is actually a combination of two teams who are kind of stepbrothers in a way. We’ll be starting with AWA tag team Badd Company, comprised of Pat Tanaka and Paul Diamond. Here’s a match from the CWA (Memphis) on October 10, 1987.

Badd Company vs. John Paul/Ed Mattox

Tanaka rolls Mattox to the mat to start and sidesteps a dropkick. A kick to the ribs brings in Diamond as the regular team starts their back and forth tagging. Diamond misses an elbow and it’s off to Paul, who is quickly catapulted into a chop for the pin. Total squash.

Here’s an actual AWA match at SuperClash III.

Badd Company/Madusa Micelli vs. Wendi Richter/Top Guns

Ok quick recap here. Richter was the second biggest face in the WWF regardless of gender but left because of various issues. She recently beat Madusa for the AWA Women’s Title. Badd Company, the AWA tag champions, are more famous as Tanaka and Kato (Paul Diamond here, minus the mask) of the Orient Express in the WWF a few years later. All titles are on the line here as per the usual stipulations. The Top Guns are Derrick Dukes and Ricky Rice, both of whom suck. They’re the faces here. Oh and Badd Company/Madusa have none other than Diamond Dallas Page as their manager.

Richter gets a huge pop so Page, with hair longer than Shawn Michaels in 96, makes fun of Richter for getting a fluke win for the title and introduces his own team. Everything goes insane at first and genders have to match in this one. The good guys clear the ring and the Top Guns hit a double back elbow on Tanaka. Mike Enos, a future kind of star in the AWA and the guy that was in the ring when Hall jumped the guardrail in 1996, is the referee for some reason. He’s not a known wrestler yet but that’s him.

Ok now we’re down to sanity with Tanaka and Dukes in there. Dukes really likes to work on the arm. Long headlock goes on as the girls yell at each other. Dukes hits a dropkick and let’s try that headlock again. Diamond comes in and actually doesn’t get destroyed as Dukes plays face in peril for a bit. Diamond misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to the girls. They do the usual girls in the 80s stuff here that isn’t all that interesting or, you know, good. Everything breaks down again and Tanaka accidently kicks Madusa so Richter can pin her.

Rating: D+. Another pointless match here as they just did their thing for awhile and the guys meant nothing. I don’t think Rice was ever even in the match. The girls didn’t mean anything at this point but then again they didn’t for a long time. This went nowhere at all and was way too short to be anything of note.

Tanaka was brought over to the WWF in 1990 to be part of the tag team the Orient Express with Japanese veteran Akio Sato. Here’s one of their first matches in the company on March 19, 1990.

Orient Express vs. Demolition

Both teams do quick promos which are nothing special at all really. We’re in MSG again. Demolition used to be managed by Fuji so there’s some heat there. This is 2 weeks from Mania apparently. Stalling to start until we get down to Smash vs. Tanaka. It’s nearly a comedy bit to start as Tanaka keeps getting caught by punches and shots from Demolition after thinking he had escaped.

Kaito comes in and the stalling begins again. There’s the double teaming to take over and the Express takes over for all of 6 seconds. Back to Demolition with Smash using power to control here. It’s weird to see the faces dominating this long into a match. Double backdrop sends Tanaka flying. More double teaming takes over again, this time for a full 15 seconds. No the best way to start us off here for the Express.

Since it worked so well the first two times they double team again but this time with a cane shot to the back of Smash which actually works. In other words Fuji managed to do what his men couldn’t do in two tries. It’s weird to see these teams against each other for some reason. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them fight before. Hayes goes into a lecture about history and wars between the Japanese and the British for no apparent reason.

The crowd isn’t incredibly into this to put it mildly, mainly due to the Express having about a grand total of zero chance in this. Demolition realizes they’re one of the most successful teams of all time and starts hammering away. Off to Axe who hammers away on Tanaka until everything breaks down. They set for the Decapitator but Fuji interferes. Salt goes into Axe’s eyes and the fastest ten count ever ends this. Wow that was a terrible ending.

Rating: D+. Wow this was pretty bad. Was there ANY reason to give the win to the Orient Express here? The crowd seemed to hate it to put it mildly, so what was the point? Boring match too with Demolition never being in any danger it seemed. I don’t really get this one at all.

Here’s the start of their most famous WWF rivalry from Wrestlemania VI.

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Jannetty and Tanaka start things off and the Rockers take over with their usual speed stuff. Double teaming sends the Express out to the floor before things settle down a bit. Mr. Fuji hooks the top rope, sending Marty out to the floor. Back in again and Jannetty escapes a backdrop and makes the tag off to Shawn. A double superkick puts Tanaka down so it’s off to Sato. Tanaka kicks Shawn in the back and the Rockers are in trouble again.

A gutbuster gets two for Tanaka and a big kick to the face puts Shawn down again. Sato hits a top rope knee drop and it’s off to a nerve hold. Shawn comes back with a big old clothesline and a diving tag to Marty. Things speed up and we get some heel miscommunication. A big backdrop puts Tanaka down but Fuji breaks up the double fist. Marty goes after him and gets salt in the eyes for his efforts. He stumbles into the barricade and that’s a countout.

Rating: C+. Decent tag match here which would be topped by about a mile at the Rumble. These guys needed more time than this and a better finish to be awesome so this one was just ok. The Rockers would start getting awesome in a hurry after this with nearly two years before their famous split. The Express would only have a handful of PPV matches ever and this is the most recent that I’ve seen.

We need to establish the team a bit more though so here’s a match on Wrestling Challenge, July 8, 1990.

Orient Express vs. Hercules/Jim McPhearson

Hercules is about to hook up with Paul Roma as Power and Glory. Sato jumps Hercules to start so the power man casually gorilla presses him down. Seriously he barely looked like he was trying. A superkick drops Hercules though and McPhearson comes in to eat a superkick of his own. Tanaka adds a few kicks of his own before Sato plants Jim with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Here are some REAL Americans vs. two evil Japanese men at Summerslam 1990.

Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan

Duggan and Volkoff sing God Bless America and get jumped in a twist on the old foreigners’ gimmick. We start with the small Tanaka trying to match strength with Volkoff. Vince: “That wasn’t too bright.” Piper: “Yep, real dumb.” You can’t make it any simpler than that. Sato kicks away at Volkoff a bit but it’s hot tag to Duggan who cleans house and finishes Tanaka with the three point clothesline. This was nearly a squash.

The team was involved in a Survivor Series elimination match at Survivor Series 1990.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Stupid but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got the ultimate dumb filler to go).

NWA fans will appreciate this one from Superstars on January 5, 1991. Here’s where the two teams come together: Sato decided to leave American wrestling and go back to Japan, allowing a masked man named Kato to fill in the spot. The man under the mask: Tanaka’s old Badd Company partner Paul Diamond.

Mulkey Brothers vs. Orient Express

The Mulkey Brothers, Randy and Bill, are best known as cult favorite jobbers from the NWA. Kato chops away at Bill to start before kicking him a bit low. The Express hits Haas and Benjamin’s jump over the partner onto Bill’s back before Tanaka chops Bill so hard that he (Tanaka) flips over. Back up and Kato superkicks Bill into a German suplex to give Tanaka the pin. That’s a standard Mulkey Brothers match.

From two days later on January 7, 1991.

Mr. Fuji/Orient Express vs. Legion of Doom

We play hide the foreign object for a bit with Fuji and then it’s off to Kato vs. Animal. Guess who does better in this case. Kato runs away a lot as the crowd is mostly silent here. The LOD throw Tanaka as high as anyone I’ve ever seen. This is one of those matches where stuff is kind of happening but nothing is going on if that makes sense. In short, it’s rather boring indeed.

All LOD so far as the Express hasn’t been able to get anything going at all. Hawk sends Kato to the floor and just stands there as he gets back in. Double teaming FINALLY slows down Animal a bit, including some salt into the eyes. Here’s Fuji who shoves Animal and leaves. The heel offense ends in about 20 seconds via a double clothesline and it’s off to Hawk. Crowd is pretty dead here. Doomsday Device ends this dominance quickly.

Rating: D-. Total and complete squash here as I think everyone expected. No point at all in having Fuji out there but they were trying to up the drama from zero to about .00001 or so and it didn’t work at all. The Express hardly ever won anything but they would get a bit better, especially against the Rockers. Bad match.

Now we get to the main event for this team at the 1991 Royal Rumble.

Rockers vs. Orient Express

The Express are Kato and Tanaka. Kato is a white guy named Paul Diamond in a mask pretending to be a Japanese guy. Shawn gets jumped to start and hit with a big double backdrop. Marty dropkicks Kato to the floor and superkicks Tanaka down as the Rockers take over. The Rockers hit stereo suicide dives to take the Express (popular names for tag teams no?) down on the floor.

The crowd is LOVING the Rockers here because they’re AMERICAN! Jannetty and Kato start things off with Kato getting caught in a headlock. Things speed up already and Marty controls with a headscissors on the mat. That gets turned into a backslide for two for Jannetty and we have a standoff. Marty makes the Express collide with each other before working on Tanaka’s arm.

Shawn comes in off the top with another shot to the arm but Tanaka comes back with a kick to the face and a chinlock. We get an overly complicated running the ropes spot which results in the Express having their heads rammed together. It’s still Tanaka vs. Shawn here and we go from a chinlock to a sleeper by Shawn. Marty tries to come in for no apparent reason, allowing Kato to blast Michaels in the back to give the Express control for the first time.

Everything breaks down and we get multiple do-see-do sequences, finally resulting in the Express being rammed into each other and being sent to the floor. Shawn busts out a kind of prototype 619 before the Rockers dive on both members of the Express in a cool spot. Back to Kato vs. Marty and we hit another chinlock. Shawn comes back in for a vertical suplex but Tanaka breaks up a monkey flip by guillotining Shawn from the apron.

Tanaka comes in and we get the World’s Greatest Tag Team spot of Tanaka jumping over Kato’s back to land on Shawn’s back as Shawn is draped over the ropes. A shot to Shawn’s throat keeps him down and it’s off to the nerve hold. Things slow down a lot as Kato comes in to chop away. A superkick puts Shawn down again (how appropriate) but he comes back by slamming Tanaka’s face down into the mat.

The place is really getting into the Rockers here as Kato takes his belt off. The Express tries to clothesline him with it but Shawn dives onto the belt to ran both Express members into each other. Hot tag brings in Marty to clean house and a powerslam gets two on Kato. Tanaka breaks up a backslide attempt so Shawn trips up Kato to retaliate. Everything breaks down again and Tanaka breaks up the Rocket Launcher. Kato slingshots Marty into a Tanaka chop and Jannetty is in trouble. They load it up again, but Shawn blasts Tanaka, allowing Marty to counter the slingshot into a sunset flip on Tanaka for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B+. This would have been a masterpiece if they had cut out a minute or two of the chinlocks. Still though, this follows the Nitro formula to the letter: take four small guys, give them a long time, get an exciting match. That’s the perfect choice for an opener and it worked well here. The Rockers would continue to be awesome for the rest of the year until splitting in December in the famous Barber Shop incident.

And now for the Main Event V on February 1, 1991.

Legion of Doom vs. Orient Express

Did the Express ever win a major match? If they did I certainly don’t remember it. Animal and Kato start us off. Kato was Paul Diamond from the AWA that was very good in his time. LOD is MOVING out there for once. This is a very fast paced match and a nice change of pace for the usually dominant faces. Fuji throws salt at Animal and takes him down. Hawk comes in and beats everyone up badly and the squash is on. Doomsday Device ENDS Kato for the win.

Rating: B-. VERY energetic match here the whole five minutes which isn’t something you often hear about the LOD. The Express bumped like crazy pinballs on speed for Animal and Hawk and the result was a rather entertaining match. It’s not very good, but it’s one of those matches where it’s about the insanity and that worked well here.

Let’s try the same formula again in London on April 24, 1991.

Orient Express vs. The Rockers

This is from London. No entrance for the Express here, but this should be absolutely awesome. Fuji goes after the Rockers with the cane before we get going. The Rockers say they’re going back to the locker room and come back with a surprise. I’ve seen this before as the commentary is very familiar to me. This is likely a tape I rented a lot when I was a kid and watched it about 100 times or so.

The surprise is Andre the Giant. Well that works I’d think. It’s so weird with this commentary as I don’t remember watching this match in a long time and yet I can almost quote the commentary before it’s said. Granted there are a lot of shows I can do that with but you get the idea. Everyone gets in there at once and it’s kind of sloppy. I remember a classic between these teams at the 91 Rumble so this should be good.

Jannetty and Kato in the ring at the moment. Kato is a masked man if that helps you visualize things. This is after Wrestlemania as the Nasty Boys are the tag champions. The Rockers dominate the early part here which is rather weird. Marty comes in so I’d expect a good amount of time will pass before Shawn is in again. Marty totally misses a dropkick and it looks terrible.

I guess you could blame it on the time switch or the jet lag or something, but given the time it might be due to a heightened level of alcohol on the faces’ part. Scratch what I said earlier as here’s Shawn again. Shawn of course shows off a bit and we go back to an armbar. I’ve never gotten how heels can get away with switching when the referee’s back is turned and he’s just fine with it. Why can’t faces get away with stuff like that?

Roddy asks Vince something about an airline and Vince avoids it like he would avoid a Benoit sign. That was odd. This really isn’t much of a match at all. Andre has more or less done nothing at all out there either and it’s hurting the match a bit. At this point none of the tag guys mean anything so Andre is the star attraction here. When he’s weak, it makes things a bit pointless.

Marty is literally almost falling into the ring reaching for a tag which doesn’t connect. The Express does the World’s Greatest Tag Team’s double team move on the ropes. You’ll either get that or you won’t since I don’t want to explain it. Shawn takes out both of the Express guys and there’s the hot tag to Jannetty. Andre stops Fuji from interfering and pokes Kato with the cane. Double fist drops end it.

Rating: D. REALLY bad considering who was in there. This was a watchable match, but considering the classic they had at the Rumble, this was weak as hell. It was really just a long controlling sequence by the Express and then the Rockers making a very fast comeback before Andre did the real damage. That was all he did in the entire match and it just never worked at all. Bad match, all things considered.

One last go at the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

It’s Owen/Neidhart as the Foundation here. Owen and Kato start thing off here. All four guys look like they’re in pajamas here. Owen takes him down to the mat by the arm before climbing up the ropes (not in the corner mind you but just the ropes) to backflip into the ring for an armdrag. A rana puts Kato down and it’s off to Neidhart vs. Tanaka. Tanaka gets run over as well, so here’s Owen to beat him up.

Tanaka gets caught by an enziguri and it’s back to Neidhart. The Express gets clotheslined down by Jim and Owen adds a double cross body for two. A spinwheel kick gets the same for Hart so Kato tries to come in sans tag. The distraction lets Fuji hit Owen with the cane to finally give the Express control. Tanaka hooks a chinlock as this isn’t exactly as fast paced as last year’s opener.

Owen gets to do Bret’s chest to the buckle bump before charging into a superkick in the other corner for two. After Kato comes in and does nothing, here’s Tanaka again for a headbutt to the abdomen. A chinlock goes nowhere but a headbutt gets two on Owen. Neidhart gets the tag but the referee doesn’t see it of course. The distraction allows Fuji to put the cane on the corner and Owen’s shoulder goes through it in a loud crunch.

It only gets two though as Owen gets a leg over the rope. Kato channels his inner Anderson with a hammerlock slam before it’s back to Tanaka. Owen finally escapes and things break down for a bit, resulting in a double clothesline for two on Hart. A superkick to the chest doesn’t put Owen down, but Tanaka jumping over Kato to land on Hart’s back does. Hart comes back with a dropkick to take out both members of the Express at once. There’s the hot tag to Neidhart and house is cleaned. Owen dives onto Kato before a Rocket Launcher gets the pin on Tanaka.

Rating: B-. Decent match here but it felt like they were trying to do the same match that worked so well in 1991. The problem was the Express wasn’t anything that good anymore and the team was gone almost immediately after this. Either way, the match wasn’t bad and it’s fine for an opener. The New Foundation never quite did anything until 1994 when Owen was a heel.

This is a really underrated combination. They went from a dominant tag team towards the end of their AWA run and then became a team that could have a good match against a string of competition in the WWF. With the Rockers, Legion of Doom, Demolition and the Harts around though, where in the world are they going to fit in?

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We’re looking at one of the forgotten tag teams of the 80s today with the Dream Team.

The Dream Team was comprised of Greg Valentine, Brutus Beefcake and manager Luscious Johnny V. Eventually Dino Bravo would replace Beefcake to form the New Dream Team and I’ll be looking at both combinations here.

We’ll start things off against a fairly good dream team in their own right on April 21, 1985.

Dream Team vs. Tito Santana/Ricky Steamboat

This is in Toronto. My goodness that’s quite a face team. Ricky vs. Beefcake starts us off. The ring is quickly cleared and Ricky hits what we would call a springboard forearm to take over. Off to Tito as the camera stuff is really all over the place here. Jesse sounds like he has a sore throat. Valentine and Santana stall a lot so Brutus slams Tito and then brings in Greg.

Valentine misses an elbow and it’s back to more stalling. I can barely recognize Jesse’s voice. That’s how messed up it is. Big clothesline puts Valentine down but the Figure Four is broken up. Greg takes over and works over the arm. Off to Bruti who can’t do much more than choke at this point. This is before the Expresses established the tag team formula so things are a bit different here.

Tito grabs an armbar but his back is to the wrong corner so he can’t get anything going. Back to Beefcake in control via a headlock. In a nice sequence, Beefcake points at Steamboat to distract the referee and Valentine gets in a shot to the back of Santana. With Ricky trying to get in, Santana gets on all fours and tries to bob and weave, eventually diving through Beefcake’s legs for the HOT tag to Steamboat.

Sleeper goes on Beefcake but he pretty easily breaks it up. Valentine comes in to hammer on Ricky and an eye rake slows the Dragon down. The Dream Team (not sure if they’re named that yet or if Steamboat is the Dragon) works him over and Valentine starts loading up the Figure Four but Steamboat small packages him for two. Steamboat fights out of the corner and makes ANOTHER hot tag to Santana. The forearm gets two on Valentine and everything breaks down. Ricky is sent to the floor but he comes back off the top to take Brutus out. Santana counters an atomic drop, hooks the leg and the Figure Four ends this.

Rating: B. Great old school tag match here and more proof that you don’t need some big long back story to have a great match. These four had no history together outside of Valentine beating Santana for the IC Title and that was like 6 months prior to this. Very fun wrestling match here and we didn’t need Teddy Long to book it.

They picked up the Tag Team Titles from the US Express and defended them against the British Bulldogs on September 10, 1985.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

Wrestlemania preview if you want to really stretch things. Dream Team has the belts. Valentine vs. Dynamite to start. Dynamite sends him flying to start and into the corner where he rams into Beefcake. Double tag brings in Smith and Bulldog. The Dogs speed things up and work over the arm. Davey fires off dropkicks for everyone but double teaming takes him down.

Not that it matters as he makes a tag just a few seconds later and Dynamite beats on the champs for a bit. Backbreaker gets two on Valentine. Dynamite goes up for presumably the Swan Dive (not called that yet) but Luscious Johnny V shoves him off the top for ANOTHER lame DQ finish.

Rating: C-. Same explanation as the previous tag match: these teams can have a good match if you give them the time but they cut it short here with the DQ ending. They would have by far and away the best match of the night at Wrestlemania. Beefcake wasn’t much at this point which is why they put him in there with Valentine who could more than carry a match.

Here’s their first televised defense at Saturday Night’s Main Event #2.

Tag Team Titles: Dream Team vs. Tony Garea/Lanny Poffo

Garea is an old timer and five time Tag Team Champion. Poffo is more famous as the Genius and Randy Savage’s brother. Valentine easily slams Lanny down and works on a headlock before tagging in Brutus. Poffy quickly fights back and drops both guys before getting two off a moonsault to Beefcake. The champs work over Poffo in the corner but he finally dives over and tags in Garea. Tony speeds things up for a bit and takes over until Beefcake gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Valentine to put on the Figure Four to retain the titles. Windham and Rotundo didn’t do a thing.

Rating: D+. Total squash again here with the champs never being in anything resembling danger. Then again they were in there against a couple of jobbers so the ending never was in much doubt. The division was about to take off in another year or so with the Dream Team being one of the last teams of the old era.

Here’s a rematch with the former champs on November 9, 1985.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. US Express

This is the Rotundo/Spivey version. The Dream Team has the tag titles but I don’t think they’re on the line here. Ok so they are. That works too. Rotundo gets beaten on by the champions but he speeds things up to get out of trouble. He gets his knees up in the corner and works over the arm. The good guys do the blind tag thing because faces in wrestling are usually evil. As Spivey gets beaten down the Dream Team tries the same thing and get thrown out. See? Heels aren’t heels because they’re evil. They’re heels because they get mistreated.

Rotunda vs. Valentine at the moment with Mike missing an elbow to give the champions the advantage. Valentine beats on him a bit until he gets caught in the Arn Anderson holding the arm down to the mat then jump crotch first onto the knees spot. Was that a Mid-Atlantic thing? Beefcake gets a sleeper on Mike but it gets countered pretty quickly. Greg breaks up the tag attempt and goes after the leg.

Now I know the Figure Four was a Mid-Atlantic thing. I’m still not sure on the crotching spot but you see it enough that it almost has to be. We finally get the hot tag when the Figure Four doesn’t work so it’s off to Spivey to clean house. For some reason the challengers tag twice after Spivey comes in. To no shock Rotundo got beaten up quickly so it was back to Spivey. The champs try to cheat but it can’t get the pin. Beefcake counters a rollup into a very sloppy looking one, grabs the furry boots (What is with those? So many people use them and I still don’t get the point) and gets the clean pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I have no idea what the point was in having the challengers get beat that cleanly. It looked pretty bad as Spivey pretty clearly could have kicked out but didn’t. There was something a few seconds earlier though that looked a bit botched, so maybe that wasn’t the planned ending.

More ex champions on December 14, 1985.

Dream Team vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Both teams here have lost the tag titles at Mania so they have that in common. Also this is the rare heel vs. heel pairing. This might be in Philly but I‘m not 100% sure. Oh ok this is before Mania 2 so the Dream Team (Beefcake/Valentine) are the champions. Off to Beefcake who gets caught in the other evil corner. Nikolai hammers away on him and wins a brief power struggle.

I think the champs are the de facto faces here. Valentine has a little bit better luck against the Russian so it‘s off to Sheik. He hooks an abdominal stretch and Gorilla still finds something to complain about with it. The Sheik goes aerial with a dropkick of all things and gets two. Brutus gets the tag and this match is boring me to death. The not yet Barber misses a middle rope fist to Volkoff and it‘s time for a bearhug to waste more time. Camel Clutch by Sheik is broken up and Valentine comes in, as does everyone else. And there‘s the lame double DQ. At least it‘s over.

Rating: D-. This was one of the lamest matches I‘ve seen in years. Just boring all around and the whole thing didn‘t work at all. The Dream Team was straight up boring but would be together until Mania 3 because the fans hadn‘t suffered enough I guess. Just a horrible match and terribly boring.

We need another Bulldogs match! From Saturday Night’s Main Event V.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Bulldogs (Davey Boy Smith and Dynamite Kid, managed by Lou Albano) are challenging and the Dream Team comes out to We Are The Champions. We get a quick pre-recorded bit from the Dream Team, who say the Bulldogs’ recent non-title victory doesn’t mean anything. Thankfully Vince pointed out that it was pre-recorded because I never would have figured out how the team could be in the ring and on the arena floor at the same time.

Davey atomic drops Valentine to start and a Dynamite headbutt gets two. A suplex brings Greg back inside for the same and the Bulldogs are rolling early. They drag Beefcake in to work him over as well, including Davey lifting him up by the arm in a nice power display. A gorilla press slam gets two and Dynamite’s belly to back suplex gets the same. Greg tries to fight back but eats a dropkick to put him right back down. Everyone heads outside for a staredown and we take a break.

Back with Beefcake getting trapped in the Bulldogs’ corner again for a missile dropkick from Davey Boy. Brutus pounds him down though and gives it back to Valentine to try the Figure Four but Dynamite makes a quick save. The Bulldogs are in trouble for the first time and a shoulder breaker gets two on Dynamite. Beefcake comes in for two of his own and gets frustrated when he can’t get a pin. Kidd sends Beefcake into the corner and nails a missile dropkick for two and everything breaks down. In a smart finish, Valentine and Dynamite collide but Valentine’s leg lands on top for a pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches in the series so far with both teams getting to look good and the ending protecting the challengers. The Bulldogs are one of the most revered teams of all time and their day would be coming soon. It’s a good match but the rematch at Wrestlemania would be even better.

And now for a six man on March 16, 1986.

Luscious Johnny V/Dream Team vs. Lou Albano/British Bulldogs

This is in MSG again and a few weeks before Mania II. Hammer vs. Smith to start us off. Atomic drop by Smith lets Albano get a shot in. Off to Dynamite and Valentine is in trouble. Back to Smith as it’s all Valentine for his team so far. By that I mean he’s the only one getting beaten up. Off to Brutus as I say that who is completely inept at this point. Johnny V, the manager, comes in now and is back out again quickly.

Valentine comes in off the top and we hit the chinlock. Off to Dynamite again who hammers away with forearms. Dynamite gets two off a knee to the ribs as Valentine is beaten on even more. Now Valentine takes over and hits a backbreaker for two. Is there a reason he’s doing the vast majority of the work for his team? Dynamite slams him off the top and we get Brutus for a change. Albano and Smith cheat to double team Brutus. Dynamite is double teamed at the same time so it balances out.

Brutus gets a neckbreaker on Kid for two. Suplex gets the same. Back off to the heel manager who Gorilla doesn’t remember being in earlier. That could have been taken very badly. Back to Valentine as Dynamite could be bleeding a bit. Valentine gets a front Piledriver (starting position of a regular one but kneels like a Tombstone) for two.

Figure Four goes on but Albano makes the save. Smith and Johnny V now and Smith cleans some house. Powerslam to the manager gets two as Valentine saves. The managers go at it but Albano isn’t legal. Falling powerslam to Valentine gets two. This is very fast paced but not in a good way. Valentine can’t suplex him so Smith does it instead. He isn’t delaying it yet though.

Off to Dynamite who is already hurt. Dynamite is like screw it and hammers away because he can. He hammers away and Valentine is in trouble as he has been for a lot of this match. Back off to Smith and a small package gets two for Davey. Back to Dynamite and a double clothesline gets two. Snap suplex by Dynamite and here comes everyone. Brutus, the illegal man which both commentators point out, is rolled up for the pin by Dynamite.

Rating: D. This tape is very hit or miss. The idea here was all messed up as the faces dominated for the most part here. Valiant and Albano were pretty useless in this but I think that was expected. Not a great match at all and not really entertaining. It helped set up Mania though so it did its job I guess.

They had to blow it off at Wrestlemania II.

Tag Titles: Dream Team vs. British Bulldogs

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine and they’re defending. For absolutely no apparent reason, the Bulldogs have Ozzy freaking Osbourne in their corner. Smith and Valentine start things off with Davey pounding away in the corner. Off to a wristlock before Dynamite comes in to send Valentine into the buckle for two. There’s the snap suplex for no cover and it’s back to Davey for the delayed vertical.

Greg gets in a few shots in the corner including a forearm to the back to take over and finally bring in Brutus. He cranks on the arm and is immediately gorilla pressed down by Smith. Dynamite comes in again and gets two off a small package. Beefcake makes a blind tag though and Valentine comes in off the top via another forearm to the back and the champions take over. Kid comes right back and pounds away before bringing Smith back in.

The Bulldogs hit a double headbutt for two for Kid but Brutus comes in sans tag to switch momentum right back. Valentine gets two off a kneeling piledriver but falls victim to the Arn Anderson self-crotching mistake. He continues the Horsemen theme by going up top and getting slammed down ala Flair as everything breaks down. Dynamite gets sent to the floor so Smith comes in with the powerslam (not yet the finisher) for two on Valentine.

Davey misses a charges into the post though and his shoulder is hurt in a hurry. Brutus comes in to work over the arm and hits a kind of hammerlock slam. Valentine hits a shoulderbreaker but pulls up before covering. In a VERY sudden ending, Dynamite gets on the top rope while still illegal and Davey rams Valentine’s head into that of Dynamite for the pin and the title.

Rating: B. It’s not a great or even a very good match but after nearly two hours of lame wrestling with nothing matches, this was a great breath of fresh air. The Bulldogs would be champions for the better part of a year while the Dream Team would survive for another year before splitting at the next Wrestlemania. Good stuff here though.

The Dream Team tried to get back on track at the Big Event.

Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team is Valentine and Beefcake who Valiant usually manages. The Rougeaus are wearing red for some reason. Oh great and Valentine is too. We get an abdominal stretch and naturally Monsoon complains. The Rougeaus are one of those teams that just flows so well that it’s amazing to say the least. They’re also great high fliers that can just show off, kind of like the Hardys or something like that. Good night there are a lot of people there.

This is your standard 80s tag match which means that it’s pretty good. Beefcake just sucked back I the day though and this is no exception. He would be replaced by Bravo at Mania 3. After a very long and drawn out match which thankfully got enough time, we hit the brawl and Valentine has the figure four. In a SWEET ending, the illegal Rougeau gets a sunset flip on him as he bends over to put the hold back on for the pin. I love that.

Rating: B-. This was another fun and good match that did its job well. It’s the second longest match of the night after the draw from earlier and it’s one of the better ones on the card. It was solid but the really needed to get Bravo out there ASAP. Valiant is ticked off over that ending.

Then they tried to get the titles back at Saturday Night’s Main Event VII.

Tag Team Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Dream Team

The Bulldogs are defending and this is 2/3 falls again. Dynamite knocks Valentine around to start but Greg goes after the knee to take over. Beefcake hits a nice suplex and stays on the leg. Unfortunately he knocks Dynamite into the corner and it’s off to Davey to work on Beefcake’s arm. Dynamite quickly comes back in to face Valentine who drives in some elbows to the head and chest for two before slapping on the Figure Four. Beefcake cuts Davey off and Kid gives up for the first fall.

Before we go to a break, Gene tells us that Adonis may have separated his shoulder. We see a clip of Piper nailing him in the arm with the crutch, probably causing the injury. Back from the break with Valentine cranking on Kid’s knee even more. Beefcake draws in Bulldog with some strutting, allowing the challengers to get in some double teaming.

Greg misses a middle rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in Davey to clean house. The powerslam crushes Valentine but Brutus makes a save. That’s fine with Davey who puts Brutus in his fireman’s carry, allowing Dynamite to climb onto Beefcake’s back for the top rope headbutt to Valentine, tying things up.

The third fall starts with Valentine and a limping Dynamite with the Kid nailing his snap suplex. His knee is too banged up though and Greg drops an elbow to the back. We get the classic missed tag to Dynamite, allowing the villains to double team yet again. The Figure Four attempt is broken up and the hot tag connects, only to have Brutus take Davey down immediately. Back to Valentine for two off a suplex as the challengers keep making fast tags. A high knee gets two with Dynamite making the save as everything breaks down. Davey avoids a charging Beefcake in the corner and grabs a fisherman’s suplex to retain the titles.

Rating: B. This is the version of the Bulldogs that everyone talks about being one of the best tag teams of all time. The Dream Team was right there with them for this match though and the whole thing worked really well. They built up the drama at the end and the whole thing worked really well. Best match in the entire series so far.

Here’s another one against a fresh pairing.

Can-Am Connection vs. Dream Team

Can-Am is Tom Zenk/Rick Martel while the Dream Team is Valentine/Beefcake. Martel takes over quickly on Valentine, working the arm. Off to Zenk who works on the arm as well. We’re in MSG if you’re curious. Luscious John jumps on commentary for a second to brag. The team with the Canadian on it keeps up its advantage. Valentine manages to snake eyes him onto the top rope to take over.

Off to Beefcake and the former champs take over. Off to a chinlock and things speed up a bit. Brutus gets caught in a rollup for two. Martel starts fighting back and punches Valentine down. When all else fails, HIT HIM IN THE FACE! And never mind as the American hits an Irish on the Canadian into the corner. Suplex gets two. Figure Four is countered into a small package but Martel still can’t escape.

Back to Beefcake who manages to give up the tag. Listen to that pop for a hot tag! When’s the last time you heard something like that? Zenk cleans house and dropkicks Valentine down. Brutus takes him down again though and it’s back to the Dream Team in control. There’s an abdominal stretch by the Hammer. Gutbuster brings in Beefcake as they work on Zenk’s ribs and abdomen.

Zenk keeps bridging out of pin attempts. This match is getting some serious time. Double clothesline puts Zenk and Greg down. Valentine puts on a front facelock and Brutus distracts the referee so the tag doesn’t count. Elbow drop misses for Valentine and they do the blind tag thing again. That’s a rarity. Everything breaks down and the Dream Team hits a double belly to back suplex. There’s the Figure Four but Martel hits a slingshot splash for the totally illegal pin.

Rating: B. Long match here and it worked pretty well I thought. This is something you can’t see on TV due to the time but it worked well here. It also plays forward the whole Beefcake is the weak link idea of the team which led to their split. The crowd was way into this too. Good stuff.

Then the final match at Wrestlemania III.

Dream Team vs. Rougeau Brothers

The Dream Team is Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine but they’ve been having problems lately. Dino Bravo and Johnny V are with them here. Ray and Brutus start things off with Ray sending Brutus into the Rougeau corner for some double teaming. Off to Valentine as the Rougeaus tag in and out multiple times. Jacques finally sticks around for a bit and misses a cross body out of the corner.

Greg drops a bunch of elbows and puts on the Figure Four as Bobby Heenan comes into the commentary booth. Jacques gets to the rope before reversing a piledriver so he can tag Ray. Whle this is going on, Bobby and Gorilla argue about midgets. Ray puts Greg in a sleeper and Brutus’ save goes awry. Valentine gets caught in the Rougeau Bomb but Dino comes in off the middle rope though with a shot to Ray’s back, giving the Dream Team the pin.

Rating: C-. This was all angle rather than the match. The Rougeaus were a talented team and looked solid out there while the Dream Team looked like a relic of the past. Thankfully this would be the end for them as Bravo would replace Beefcake immediately, although the New Dream Team never went anywhere.

Here’s a New Dream Team amtch on June 23, 1987.

Rougeau Brothers/Brutus Beefcake vs. Dream Team/Johnny Valiant

This is a dark match from a Superstars taping in Indianapolis. Ray vs. Dino to start us off. Dino keeps running as you would expect him to. Valentine tries to cheat by holding Ray but Ray avoids the jumping knee. The place ERUPTS on something that simple. It’s amazing how you never see that anymore. Beefcake comes in and goes for Greg’s hair, resulting in the heels congregating on the floor.

Valiant, a manager remember, hides on the floor. Beefcake gets caught in the corner and even Valiant gets in some time on offense. Beefcake grabs a sleeper on Valentine but Valiant makes the save. Both Rougeaus come in and pound on Bravo as the place loses its mind. Boston Crab by Ray is broken up by Valentine, which draws Ray into the bad corner.

Back to Greg who gets a shoulderbreaker for two. In a pretty impressive power display, Ray counters a piledriver into the position for an Alabama Slam, but instead he walks towards his corner with Valentine on his back. Greg doesn’t let him get the tag but still it was impressive. Ray is on the floor and we’re clipped to a later point of him on the floor. Bravo drops another elbow and we’re clipped to Valentine in there instead.

Back to Bravo and Dino hammers away. This is the WWE 24/7 version so the big WWF Superstars of Wrestling banner is censored. Off to Johnny V and they just kind of let Ray tag in Brutus. He and Jacques clean house and it all breaks down. The heels are all thrown together and a pair of dropkicks send the non-managers to the floor. Valiant is put in the sleeper and we’re done.

Rating: C. This was fine. You never see stuff like this in modern wrestling and that’s a shame. There’s nothing too bad here and it was just a six man tag. The fans get to be happy and the faces get a win. There’s no bigger plan here and none of the guys really seem to be all obsessed about moving up the card. All that matters here is getting a win. Why can’t we see more of that?

We’ll wrap it up with one of their last matches before quietly splitting. From October 23, 1987.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. New Dream Team

In France still and the New Dream Team is Bravo/Valentine. We have 11 minutes in the tape to go. I can get through this. I know I can. Joined in progress for no apparent reason. Ray is in trouble and the fans cheer for the French boys. Valentine gets caught with a knee to the balls so Bravo comes in again. Time for a bearhug to keep the high level of this tape going. A piledriver is countered but Jacques can’t get a tag in.

Valentine mocks wanting to box Jacques for no apparent reason. The beating goes on like six minutes and Bravo hits his side suplex finisher on Ray but it’s not a finisher yet I don’t guess as Ray pops up and takes Bravo down. There’s the hot tag and everything breaks down. Sleeper to Valentine but Bravo breaks it up. A figure four is attempted but Ray sunset flips Valentine for the pin.

Rating: D. It’s a bit better, but good night would it have killed them to give us ANY bigger named team? Horribly dull match and I don’t even want to think about how much longer this could have been. Weak match but given how weak the teams were in there (bad time for the Rougeaus at this point) and a perfect ending to an AWFUL tape.

The Dream Team is an interesting combination as they’re kind of bridging two generations. Before them we had the US Express and the Soul Patrol and the Wild Samoans and teams like that. They’re talented, but things weren’t quite as polished as they were later. Then came teams like the British Bulldogs and the Hart Foundation and the Rockers who took the division to its peak. The Dream Team kind of gets lost in the shuffle, which is a shame as they were a very solid pair in their own right. If you like 80s wrestling, you’ll like these guys.

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This is a big one.

2014 had some VERY big moments with things that I never thought I’d see in wrestling. This might be the toughest of these all year so let’s start with some nominees in no order.

We’ll start with the most recent: the ending of Takeover: R-Evolution. Sami Zayn FINALLY wins the NXT Title and has a ten minute celebration to end the show. Adrian Neville thankfully did not turn heel and the locker room came out to celebrate with the new champion. Even Kevin Owens, Sami’s longtime friend who followed him to NXT was there to celebrate. Owens put his arm around Sami to end the show…..and then leveled him with a clothesline and powerbombed him onto the apron. The moment when Sami comes back for revenge is going to be amazing.

The Ultimate Warrior’s farewell speech. I was lucky enough to be in the arena for this and it was one of the eeriest feelings I’ve ever experienced when I found out he died about 15 hours later. It was as perfect of a farewell speech as I’ve ever heard and got the reaction that the Warrior deserved. Yeah the guy was nuts but he’s a legend of wrestling and deserves to be honored as such.

From the same night, we have the Shield turning face. This was similar to the night Ric Flair returned to Nitro back in September of 1998. Everyone knew it was coming but they let it build and build with the fans chanting HOUNDS OF JUSTICE. The music finally hit and you could feel it. The trio hit the ring and stared down the Authority with HHH trying to calm things down. He turned around for a spear from Reigns and the war was on. Shield knocked them to the floor and Ambrose and Rollins nailed perfect suicide dives to take down Orton and Batista. Bryan kneed HHH to end the show as he finally had some muscle to back him up.

We’ll jump forward to Summerslam with Brock Lesnar just mauling John Cena. I know most people were expecting Lesnar to take the title but dear goodness this was glorious. It was total destruction with Cena only getting in some token offense. I don’t impress easily, but that first F5 had me losing my mind and shouting NO WAY at the screen. If they had Lesnar beat him in 30 seconds it might have been the most amazing moment ever. As it was it’s just up for moment of the year.

Back to the beginning of the year for the Royal Rumble crowd. Just…..my goodness. If there has ever been a crowd like this, I’ve yet to see it. They absolutely rebelled against the show and were not interested in what was being presented to them. What people tend to forget is that the show really wasn’t that bad.

Actually it’s a very solid show from top to bottom with a match of the year candidate for Bryan vs. Wyatt, Brock just beating the tar out of Big Show and barely selling the KO Punch, Cena and Orton having a totally watchable match (try watching it with the sound off and see how much better you find it) that calmed the fans down after about five minutes, and a very good Rumble…..until the last buzzer sounded.

I’ve been watching wrestling for a very long time. I’ve seen a lot of matches and shows and I’ve heard a lot of interesting reactions. However, I have never, in my entire time watching wrestling, seen a crowd completely turn on a show like they did when Rey Mysterio’s music hit at #30. Keep that in mind: this was REY MYSTERIO at #30. It’s not like the music hit and “We’re a 3 Man BAND!!!” came on. Rey Mysterio is one of the most popular and successful wrestlers in the history of WWE and should walk into the Hall of Fame with ease.

However, he just was not who the people wanted that night. The fans wanted to see Daniel Bryan come out and…..that’s it. See, that’s the interesting part to this show: I don’t think the fans needed to see Bryan win the Rumble as long as he was in the match in some fashion. It’s a fascinating show and really worth a watch if you can somehow ignore the crowd. That’s very hard to do though, as the crowd rose up and said “This is not what we want.” in as loud and clear of a voice as I’ve ever heard in wrestling.

That brings us to our next moment: Daniel Bryan making Batista tap out to win the WWE World Heavyweight Title in the main event of Wrestlemania XXX. That whole night was a roller coaster with Bryan beating HHH in a great match to open the show, having his arm banged up again, still coming out for the triple threat, and fighting off both guys plus the Authority and getting off a stretcher to come back and win. If there has ever been a bigger one night push for someone, I’ve never seen it.

We’ll jump forward towards the end of the year now with one of the few things that I kept saying I wouldn’t believe until I saw it: Sting debuted in the WWE. I mean…..IT’S STING IN WWE! The Authority had Team Cena dead to rites and we heard the crow. Everyone knew who it was but actually seeing him walk down that aisle and laying out HHH to give Ziggler the pin (over Rollins, who had been out cold for about eight minutes after a single Zig Zag) didn’t feel real. It was an amazing debut and worth the nearly fifteen year wait.

Back to Wrestlemania for the final two options. First up is the opening of the show, with Steve Austin, the Rock and Hulk Hogan in the same ring at the same time. I really don’t think you need any further explanation than that.

And then Brock Lesnar hit his third F5 and conquered the Streak. I mean….Brock Lesnar just conquered the Streak. I have to go with this as the winner because of something I saw for myself in the Superdome that night. The three count went down (with a 21-1 graphic flashing on the screen at the two count) and the place went silent before everyone started screaming. I sat there in my chair and couldn’t stand up or speak. I looked around and saw grown men crying their eyes out and running out of the building, not even coming back later in the show. There was so much emotion from that loss that adult men were leaving Wrestlemania and not coming back. Think about that one for a second and let it sink in.

I didn’t realize how many major moments there were in 2014 but at the end of the day, the Streak coming to an end just is not going to be topped.

Monday Nitro #199
Date: August 2, 1999
Location: Sioux Falls Arena, Sioux Falls, South Dakota
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Scott Hudson

I’m really starting to feel sorry for the wrestlers in this company. They have to work hard and try to carry this show to something resembling wrestling while the old guard just won’t shut up and get out of the way. There’s room for the older generation in a company because the young guys have no credibility without wins over established names, but there comes a point where it’s time to pass the torch. Unfortunately that was well over a year ago. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event stuff in case you’re having a hard time staying awake this week.

Recap of Hogan vs. Nash with Goldberg basically as a plot device.

We see Harlem Heat reuniting on Thunder.

Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Non-title with Page not in wrestling gear. Before the match he makes more your mama jokes about Benoit. He goes one step further though by saying David Flair is a better US Champion than Benoit could ever be. Oh you know it’s on now. Well at least Harlem Heat’s music is on, minus the pyro. Also in an amusing bit: Booker told Stevie to take off the black and white to reform the team. Naturally tonight, they’re in black and white.

Page leaves so Booker and Kanyon can have a Raise the Roof contest. Booker cranks on the arm and nails a dropkick before it’s off to his brother. Kanyon is mediocrekicked outside and Bigelow comes in for a power brawl. It’s Bigelow hammering him down until Stevie actually blocks a suplex and takes Bigelow over with one of his own. Booker and Kanyon come back in to try and make this a bit more interesting. Seriously if you have those two in a match, why would you ever let it be Stevie vs. Bigelow?

Anyway, Bigelow offers a distraction so Kanyon can poke Booker in the eye. Another suplex puts Booker down and Bigelow adds the top rope headbutt for two. It’s not quite Benoit, but then again maybe Bigelow’s mama was worse than Chris’. Booker fights up again and hammers away before nailing the flying forearm.

The hot tag brings in Stevie for big boots all around as the fans just not care. Everything breaks down and Stevie breaks up Greetings From Asbury Park. Not a Springsteen fan I guess. The Harlem Sidekick sends Kanyon to the floor and Booker goes up top, only to have Page come out and get on the apron. This brings out Benoit for a save, allowing Booker to dropkick Kanyon for the pin.

Rating: C+. This one is a mixed bag for me as the match was a nice change of pace from the stuff I’ve been sitting through lately, but at the same time I’m really not liking the idea that Booker T. is back in the same tag team he was stuck in for about four years. Harlem Heat used to be great, but I really don’t want to see the team again in late 1999.

Booker is the guy that should be the US Champion, but instead we’re sitting through an angle designed to make Ric look corrupt, even though he doesn’t have the power anymore. Is there a reason why Sting hasn’t done something about that yet? Does WCW even know that Sting has been in charge for like two weeks now? If they do, why hasn’t he like, done something yet?

Benoit wants a match later with Page.

Lenny and Lodi ask Ernest where he shops. Because they’re gay you see and gay men like to shop. HAVE THEY MADE IT CLEAR TO YOU THAT THEY’RE GAY YET??? I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’VE BEATEN IT OVER YOUR HEAD ENOUGH YET SO I THOUGHT I MIGHT SHOUT TO GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD SOME MORE! Did I mention this story is getting on my nerves?

Opening sequence.

Chad Brock will be performing next week. I don’t know who he is either.

Here’s President Sting with something to say. He wants Sid and Steiner out here tonight but needs a partner. The fans chant for Goldberg and Sting seems to think that’s quite a jolly idea. He’ll be back here at 9pm to get Goldberg’s answer.

Sonny and the Cat (sounds like a 1970s Saturday morning cartoon show) come out to rip on Buff’s bunny slippers deal last week. Tonight he’s going to whip someone without his red slippers, so he wants Lenny and Lodi out here right now. If they show up, he’ll tell them where he shops. Apparently this is a match.

The Cat vs. Lenny Lane/Lodi

They’re now wearing glitter and sucking on lollipops. Miller rams their heads together to start and throws Lodi to the floor before beating on Lenny. Lane goes outside as well and we have a chase involving Onoo. Back in and a pair of Feliners drop the brothers so Miller can pin Lane.

Ok, time to pause for a second. Let’s take a look at this. We have two men who are apparently gay, even though I don’t think it’s actually been said yet. On top of that, they follow almost every gay stereotype in the book, ranging from bright clothing to glitter to shopping. Then apparently they’re stupid enough that Miller can beat them both up in less than two minutes because they’re weak fighters. Oh and they’re brothers because why not make an incest joke too.

What in the world is the point of this storyline? If there’s any reason behind it other than to make fun of gay people, I certainly can’t see it. I tend to think that a lot of official statements and complaints from groups due to something they find offensive are stupid and a case where they need to just grow thicker skin, but this deserved every single lawsuit, complaint and raking over the coals that WCW got.

Compare them to the version that came three years later: Billy and Chuck. Now I’m not saying Billy and Chuck were some great leap forward for gay rights, but they were done roughly 19,000% better than Lenny and Lodi. To begin with, they won the Smackdown Tag Team Titles twice. In other words, they actually WON something. Have Lenny and Lodi won a single match between the two of them since this story started?

On top of that, and most importantly of all, they weren’t treated as something horrible and worthless. Yeah they were played for comedy, but the comedy felt much more lighthearted with them. Lenny and Lodi are seemingly getting beaten up because they’re easy targets. Billy and Chuck came off as stupid, but harmless for the most part. This story though comes off as offensive, low brow and really, really hateful. I could have gone with this story until they were suddenly brothers, because that changed this from something amusing to WCW trying to shock people and get a rise out of them.

Here’s Gene, who suddenly loves Hogan again. Okerlund always was a fickle guy. Anyway here’s Hogan in the black and white and a necklace made of paperclips (seriously) but minus the beard. Apparently the chicks have been all over him since he shaved. Sounding like Hulk instead of Hollywood, he talks about bleeding last week and how the cameras had to pan away before kids got scared. Oh come on that cut was so lame that even the Maryland State Athletic Commission wouldn’t have stopped the match. Anyway, Nash is a woman and Hogan is SHOOTING. Nash can have his title shot tonight if he wants one.

Sting comes out to get Goldberg’s answer. We see Goldberg looking at a clock and heading towards the ring, only to run into Rick Steiner before he gets through the curtain. Steiner lures him into a room where Sid is waiting with a snow shovel. Goldberg gets blasted in the head a few times but Sting runs into the back.

This goes as well as you would think it would as Sid and Steiner beat Sting down as well before dragging him back to the ring. Sting fights back but eats a chokeslam, only to have Goldberg run out for the save. You would think a SNOW SHOVEL TO THE BACK from a 6’10 300+lb monster would have more effect than it did in Home Alone but whatever. Goldberg wants to fight and I think we have our main event. This was actually a really well done segment and set up the match quite well. Unfortunately the match is going to be a disaster but the build was good.

Evan Karagias vs. Disco Inferno

Karagias speeds things up to start with some hiptosses and dropkicks. You can tell there’s something here as the announcers actually stop prattling on about the main event to hype Evan. Of course as they do that, Disco comes back with his usual barrage of clotheslines and atomic drops, followed by a middle rope forearm to the face for two. A second attempt misses though and Evan comes back with some right hands and a powerslam. Evan grabs a nice snap suplex but Disco actually uses his experience to hold the ropes to avoid a dropkick. The Last Dance is enough for the pin.

Rating: C. Hokey smoke that was actually entertaining while it lasted. It’s so rare for a match like this to have some thought put into it. Yeah it’s a basic story with Evan being full of fire but Disco using his experience to catch him trying for one too many moves, but the fact that there’s something to a match this short says a lot. I’ve said it time and time again: when you cut out all the nonsense and over thinking of a match and just let guys tell a story, it’s going to be entertaining because most wrestlers on this level are talented enough to make a match work.

Torrie thinks David should only have to defend the title when he feels like it because he’s already beaten everyone. Ok then.

Video on David Flair’s US Title reign.

KISS is here in three weeks.

Nitro Girls.

Sid says…..something in a whisper that I couldn’t understand other than the word Goldberg.

Hugh Morrus/Jerry Flynn vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas

The youth movement is officially dubbed the Revolution. Dean tries a Cloverleaf in the first ten seconds but Morrus makes a fast save. The Revolution quickly clears the ring and stands tall. Well not really but you get the idea. Back in and it’s Morrus gorilla pressing Shane, which I’m sure is Ric Flair’s fault somehow. Shane escapes and dropkicks Hugh down, but that’s enough wrestling for Shane so it’s back to Malenko for a rollup.

Apparently Dean isn’t cool with Shane showing up and jumping into this group with people who have put up with WCW’s nonsense so he tags him right back in. Hugh nails a clothesline but takes too long loading up No Laughing Matter, allowing Shane to slam him down. A double tag brings in Malenko to hammer away on Flynn, only to take another clothesline. Jimmy Hart gets involved by tripping Malenko to the mat before Flynn starts kicking.

We run through the gauntlet of all the standard face in peril spots from the sunset flip broken up by a tag, the referee not seeing the tag and the heels taking turns with really basic moves. Flynn misses his 495^th kick of the match and Dean dives over to make the tag. Douglas cleans house with right hands and a powerslam on Flynn for two. Everything breaks down and the Pittsburgh Plunge is enough to pin Jerry.

Rating: D+. Sweet they have a really simple name now and they even beat a nothing tag team! Clearly they’re ready to move to the top of the company and take over the industry. This push seems to be too little too late as we had to sit through Bagwell’s push just dying and the Triad going over the Revolution time after time, save for I think a three day title reign for Benoit and Saturn. At the end of the day, these guys could light the world on fire but it’s never going to matter because WCW is too busy booking musical acts for the show instead of paying attention to guys working hard to entertain the people.

Malenko takes the Hardcore Trophy from Hart and says he’s bringing this back to Fit Finlay where it belongs.

Speaking of the musical acts, KISS is still coming in three weeks.

Goldberg Megadeath video.

Nitro Girls.

In a bizarre segment, Rick Steiner comes out, throws Scott Hudson into the ring for a belly to belly, and is taken out by security as we take a break.

We come back with Bischoff joining commentary as Hudson is taken into an ambulance. Great, now we get another hour and a half of Bischoff babbling about doing the right thing, which makes me think of Stephanie McMahon’s stupid interviews where she just goes on and on about whatever her latest endeavor is and how important it is while no one else in the world has any idea or cares what the heck she’s talking about.

Sturn comes out for his match and Bischoff immediately starts talking about how Saturn and the Revolution will be taking the company into the next generation. I’m sure that’s why you booked Bagwell vs. Piper in a freaking boxing match a few weeks back and are giving us Hogan vs. Nash at Road Wild while the Revolution doesn’t actually have a match announced.

As if that wasn’t enough, Hennig comes out before the match and rips on Chad Brock for not being a real country singer. So the Revolution can’t get a feud but the freaking country singer can get one? Again, you can see why this company is about to die from here. Maybe Benoit and company should put out a record and get on the radio if they want a spot in the main event. Or they should stop having good matches and turn 40.

Anyway Hennig sends Duncum in to fight and Saturn plants him with a Death Valley Driver immediately. Saturn wants Hennig in there right now because he isn’t a real cowboy. Time for a replacement match.

Saturn vs. Curt Hennig

Saturn is all over him like over the hill wrestlers on an episode of Nitro and quickly knocks him into the corner for some right hands to the face. Possibly too drunk to feel pain, Hennig knocks him out of the corner and nails a quick neck snap. Curt hits his knee lift as Bischoff talks about Hennig in the WWF for no apparent reason. A low blow puts Saturn back down (just make them legal. I don’t remember the last week that went by without one of those happening.) but he rips Curt’s shirt off. Back up and Saturn nails a quick spinwheel kick and the Death Valley Driver but the Windhams run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just story development as I’m assuming we’re setting up the Rednecks vs. the Revolution at Road Wild. That being said, it really wasn’t the best match in the world but again, that’s due to the lack of time. I kind of which they could have taken out Kendall Windham instead of Duncum because Bobby actually has some potential rather than just a famous last name, but this went five minutes and didn’t manage to bury any talent or put the first 20 rows to sleep so they’re improving.

The Rednecks try to tie Saturn up but the rest of the Revolution comes in for the save.

Video of Benoit getting screwed out of the US Title last week.

Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page

All this over a your mama joke. They spit at each other to start until Page nails him in the ribs and grabs a quick belly to back suplex. Benoit will not be outsuplexed by anyone so he slaps on the Crossface, sending Page scurrying to the floor. Back in and Page nails a quick neckbreaker but the Diamond Cutter is stopped and Benoit grabs the snap suplex.

Remember a year and a half back when these two and Raven were tearing up the midcard over the US Title? Well now Benoit is still the same guy he was before and Page has just been going through the motions for months now, basically wasting all of his time built up as a top guy. Anyway Page elbows him in the face and hits that very nice helicopter bomb (that should be a finisher. It worked in No Mercy so it works in real life) for two.

Another low blow keeps Benoit in trouble and a spinebuster gets yet another two. Page goes up top for the sole purpose of getting crotched and superplexed to put both guys down again. Benoit rolls some Germans but, say it with me, Page hits him low to escape. A Rock Bottom gets two for Page but Benoit plants him with a DDT. The Swan Dive connects as David Flair comes out, only to get knocked off the apron. The distraction lets Page grab a rollup but Benoit reverses into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: C+. Pretty good, hard hitting match here as Benoit gets a pin over a former World Champion. Like I said it’s a far cry from their great US Title match on Thunder the previous year, but it’s always good to see Benoit get something like this. It wasn’t even that overbooked with just the Flair interference near the end. Now if only Benoit gets to keep this momentum going.

And of course it lasts all of 8 seconds as Benoit eats a two Diamond Cutters plus one off the top as the Triad comes in. David taunts Benoit with the belt, apparently continuing their…..I’m not sure what to call it because a three minute beating with a screwy ending doesn’t sound like much of a feud.

Here’s Savage on his own to talk to Okerlund. He’s suspended his campaign for President (oh darn the luck) because he has to hurt Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash and Dennis Rodman. He wants Rodman out here right now but gets the former Miss Madness instead. Mona begs to be back on his team again so Savage shoves her down to her knees. Savage looks at her and says she’s still fired.

Cue Rodman with the No Limit Soldiers and oh dear goodness why are they mixing these stories? Rodman says George is his now, presumably because once you’ve gone black you never go back. Rodman: “Once you go black, you never go back.” Mona hits Savage low and Rodman comes in for the same offense he had back in 1997 and the fans love it as we go to a break.

Why are these two feuding? That’s a serious question. One night Savage just started talking trash about Rodman and now we’re watching this mess every week. As has been my issue for months, why isn’t this ANY ACTIVE WCW WRESTLER fighting Savage and getting this rub by association? It worked wonders for Page last year but now it’s all about Dennis Rodman for the short term celebrity moment. If nothing else, have some young guy fight with Rodman. Also, who am I supposed to cheer for here? The kidnapper or the woman beater?

Vampiro vs. Eddie Guerrero

Vampiro has Raven and the Clowns with him. It’s amusing hearing Heenan talk about the Insane Clown Posse when he clearly has no idea who they are and would love to rip on them if not for Bischoff sitting next to him. Eddie stomps him into the corner to start as Bischoff tries to apologize for the comments made in the previous segment. I’d prefer he just apologize for the previous segment but I’d rather not hear him talk about doing the right thing again.

A clothesline turns Vampiro inside out but Raven trips Eddie up to take over. Eddie is sent outside and knocks a cameraman over as the Clowns get in some cheap shots. They whip him into the steps before Vampiro and Eddie trade chops back inside. Vampiro gets armdragged off the top and dropkicked over the top, only Shaggy. Eddie hits a great looking dive to put them down again but Raven shoves him off the top, setting up the Nail in the Coffin for the pin.

Rating: C-. Good grief stop with the celebrities! We have Brock, Rodman and the Clowns all on the show plus KISS coming in to perform in a few weeks and getting two separate videos so far tonight. They have such a huge roster but insist on bringing in those people to keep taking spots and going further and further into the hole against Raw. But hey, Bischoff is saying how great the Revolution is so that has to mean something right?

The Clowns beat Eddie down post match but Mysterio comes out for the save.

Berlyn is coming. I actually liked that character.

Hogan comes out for commentary with Bischoff. Oh this is going to hurt.

Sid/Rick Steiner vs. Goldberg/Sting

Hogan’s first gem is about wanting to pass the torch to Sting. There’s a LONG rant about Starrcade 1997 in there but I want to get this over with. It’s a big brawl on the floor to start until Sting suplexes Sid over the top and back into the ring. That lasts all of four seconds before they head back outside and switch things up. I guess these old guys can’t handle having a match at this point. Steiner sends Sting into the buckles back inside before tagging Sid in as the match actually gets going.

Sting takes his second chokeslam of the night but Goldberg makes a fast save. That’s enough for Sting to start a comeback but a splash on the mat hits knees. Sid’s legdrop hits the mat though and Sting loads up the Scorpion, only to have Steiner break it up. Everything breaks down again with Goldberg being sent to the apron. Naturally it’s time to cheat but Hogan takes a chair from Rick and blasts him in the head with it, drawing a DQ.

Rating: D. Standard angle disguised as a wrestling match here with Goldberg never actually tagging in. It’s a shame that the main event is being hogged by these guys but that’s a broken record at this point. This is clearly setting up a big six man followed by three singles matches at the PPV. In other words, Goldberg went from World Champion to gone for months to the TV Title against Rick Steiner while Hogan and Nash have the main event title program because Nash felt like turning heel. This really shouldn’t surprise you.

Cue Nash to powerbomb Hogan through the announcers’ table to end the show. It’s a good thing there were no monitors on the table and that it was clearly gimmicked.

Overall Rating: C-. I hate to admit it but they’re getting a little better. Maybe I’m just numb to how bad WCW is at this point but I didn’t hate this episode. I hated things about it but the wrestling was mostly fine and the stories actually advanced. Granted the stories are mostly about the celebrities and old people but they are indeed advancing. At this point it’s more that you have to just accept what you’re given with WCW because the chances of them getting it right get weaker and weaker every week.

The Revolution stuff continues to frustrate me every week. You can see them chomping at the bit to take over, but they’re clearly running on a treadmill, perpetually stuck being the guys waiting to take over instead of ever actually taking over. Those spots are saved for the guys that were draws before and will be draws in the future because once you’re a draw, you’re ALWAYS a draw, but apparently you can’t become a draw for some reason. Even Goldberg, who was the hottest guy in the world not named Austin last year, is looking more like a catalyst to get to the real main event of Hogan vs. Nash. Better but still weak show here.

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Today we’re looking at a team that had some of the best precision you’ll see this side of the 80s: the World’s Greatest Tag Team of Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin.

The team was brought together at the end of 2002 as glorified bodyguards for Kurt Angle in his feud with Brock Lesnar. The trio was collectively known as Team Angle and would see their first major action together in one of the main events of No Way Out 2003. This was billed as a six man tag but Edge had his first major neck injury, making it a handicap match.

Team Angle vs. Chris Benoit/Brock Lesnar

Team Angle is Angle himself of course and the World’s Greatest Tag Team who have the world and tag titles. You can figure out the combination of those. Benoit had been feuding with Angle before this and Lesnar won the Rumble so he has the main event slot with Angle all set already.

I love that Toothless Aggression shirt. It’s such a great play on words. The UFC Heavyweight Champion looks freaking awesome. He really was a once in a lifetime find and was only there for two years. I hope he comes back some time. Shelton and Benoit start us off. We’re more or less just waiting on the Angle vs. Lesnar showdown here.

Instead we get Lesnar vs. Haas because that’s all we can do. Brock destroys him and Angle won’t fight him. Benjamin comes in and gets his head kicked in too. Taz wants to know what a Canuck is and thinks it sounds stupid. Angle gets a quick choke in which fails completely. Shelton KICKS HIM IN THE FACE to send him down.

Ah here’s Angle. Oh and Heyman manages the heels too. He got around at this point. Benoit seems to have no problem with having Lesnar fight all three guys at once either. Angle gets a modified rear naked choke as we hear about some kid named John Cena fighting Lesnar recently. That would be HUGE today to put it mildly.

Brock just destroys everyone he fights eventually, breaking Angle’s choke by ramming his head into the buckle. Cole suggests that Angle vs. Benoit is the most anticipated match in history. Just…no. Benoit comes in and ENDS Team Angle with Germans. Belly to belly off the top for Angle to Benoit and brings in Haas.

Back to Angle. Well that was rather pointless. Naturally they crank things WAY up as this is a month after their masterpiece at the Rumble. Haas comes in and everyone stops cheering or caring it seems. That should tell you something guys. Benjamin vs. Benoit gets a bit better reaction. Sweet GOODNESS Benoit could throw chops.

Hot tag to Lesnar who just runs through everything in sight. He hits Haas with a shoulderblock so hard that Haas would have been able to sit on the middle or even top rope if he had landed there. Angle comes in and it’s a big mess again. Benoit and Haas are the only ones left until we get to the part almost everyone is here to see: Benoit vs. Angle on a mat. Crossface to ankle lock to crossface to ankle lock and back to the crossface. Total time: 14 seconds.

Angle is one of the most amazing performers ever. He can go from being an idiot that makes you crack up laughing to being so stupid that you want to smack him upside his head to being very intense but he backs everything up with great matches. That’s very rare. Off the top of my head maybe Cena and Shawn are the only ones I’d put in the category with him. As I babble on about him, Benoit gets the Crossface on Haas. Angle gets the belt but walks into the F5 as Haas taps out.

Rating: C+. It’s good but at the same time, what did this prove? Lesnar and Angle were in there for a bit but Mania is already set in stone. It’s understandable that he couldn’t do much as his neck was more or less held together by gum at this point so there was only one way to do this.

They would pick up the Smackdown Tag Team Titles around this point and defended them in a three way at Wrestlemania XIX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. Chris Benoit/Rhyno vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Haas and Benjamin are defending here. This is Benoit’s reward for having the match of the year against Angle two months earlier, followed by a feud with the freaking FBI while Kevin Nash got world title shots on PPV. I’m sure HHH has NOTHING to do with this right? It’s a big brawl to start until we get down to Benoit vs. Guerrero for a chop off. They collide in the middle of the ring with both guys going down. Rhyno comes in to face Eddie and gets two off a powerslam.

Off to Shelton who pounds Rhyno down before hitting an elbow to the face for two. Off to Haas for a double tag team by the champions on Rhyno. Rhyno throws Haas around with ease and it’s off to Benoit for more chops in the corner. A snap suplex gets two as does its belly to back cousin. Back to Rhyno vs. Benjamin as the announcers talk about Haas and Benjamin having stage fright.

Eddie comes in and dropkicks Rhyno down before it’s back to Benoit for more chopping on his fellow dead guy. Eddie snapmares him down and loads up the Frog Splash, only to have Benoit run over to the corner for some crotching and a superplex. Guerrero comes right back with a brainbuster for two as Haas breaks up the cover again. Off to Chavo who fires off some fast clotheslines to the champions, only to get caught in Rolling Germans by Benoit.

Benjamin comes in off a blind tag and superkicks Chris down for two. Eddie tags himself in and collides with Benoit to put both guys down. Shelton comes in to work on Benoit some more and a legdrop gets two. Eddie breaks it up with a Frog Splash but Chavo tags himself in, only to be suplexed down by Haas. Rhyno comes in for some Gores including one to Chavo, but Benjamin comes in (I have no idea if he was legal) and steals the retaining pin on Chavo.

Rating: C. The match was fine but it had no business being on Wrestlemania. This could have been on any given episode of Smackdown and no one would have noticed the difference. Rhyno and Benoit were just thrown together while the Guerreros were a regular team and former champions. Not bad here but not Wrestlemania worthy.

Here’s a regular version at Backlash 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Los Guerreros

The Smackdown Tag Titles were established in the fall and had been a big highlight of the company ever since. They let the wrestlers go out and have great matches, and when you had guys like these four, Angle/Benoit and Edge/Mysterio, you could mix and match anyone and get an entertaining match. Team Angle (who are defending here) brings out a portrait of Angle who is too hurt to be here. This is Los Guerreros’ rematch after the champs won the titles in February.

Eddie and Charlie get us going. They take it to the mat quickly and it’s a stalemate. Eddie gets three straight two counts and a nice bit of applause from the fans. After some showboating it’s off to Chavo vs. Benjamin. Los Guerreros take over on the arm of Shelton and use better teamwork. Shelton gets in a slam and clothesline on Chavo but Eddie gets in a shot to the back and Los Guerreros take over again.

Chavo chokes him with the tag rope and Eddie gets in some shots on the floor. Slingshot hilo gets two. Off to Haas who gets Eddie into the corner and Shelton uses the rope to choke away as well. Nice little bit of storytelling there. Eddie gets caught in the double team move where Shelton jumps over Charlie and lands on Eddie’s back for two. A pair of suplexes get two for Charlie.

Benjamin comes in with a chinlock and uses a leg lace to keep Eddie in the ring. Shelton comes back in with a kind of powerslam for two. Off to a chinlock as Cole sets up Tazz to explain how Shelton is making this hold more effective. See? Why can’t he do that with Booker and Lawler? Charlie bends Eddie’s back over his knee but Eddie comes out of it with a headscissors in a cool counter.

Hot tag to Chavo and he cleans house. Suplex gets two on Charlie. Shelton powerbombs the tar out of Chavo and everything breaks down. Three Amigos to Charlie but Eddie has to be sent out. Chavo gets a delayed two on Haas so Eddie Frog Splashes him so Chavo can get another two. He tries a suplex to Charlie but Shelton hooks the foot and it’s the Wrestlemania 5 ending as the champions retain.

Rating: B-. Bad ending to a good match here. Like I said, there’s no real need for a story here because you can give four talented guys fifteen minutes and you’re going to get a good match. Tag matches and cruiserweight matches to open a show are great choices. Tag matches with cruiserweight style guys are even better choices. Good stuff here but the ending wasn’t great.

Here’s an unrelated title defense at Vengeance 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

Rey is Cruiserweight Champion here too. The heels’ name is just great. The fans chant USA for four Americans. Ok then. Haas keeps beating Rey. This is kind of strange to see. Rey was still just the king of the cruiserweights at this point and not yet the A-list guy that he would become better known as. Kidman gets the hot tag and not much happens because of it. The 619 is blocked and my intelligence is spared for a little bit.

Kidman busts out a Shooting Star Press to the floor to take out the champions. The fans think they should worship human waste apparently. Rey gets the other hot tag but the referee is distracted. The crowd boos the heck out of that. Wow I’m surprised they’re so into this one. Hardly a bad thing but very surprising. Rey comes in and cleans house. What kind of an expression is that anyway? Rey isn’t dusting and vacuuming but it makes perfect sense to call it that. What sense does that make?

Haas takes the 619 and the seated senton. Benjamin kicks Rey in the head for two. Solid match here. In a sweet spot, Haas is on top and Kidman launches Rey up to the top for a hurricanrana. AWESOME looking and the crowd loses it when he kicks out. Dragon Whip, which is an awesome name, puts Kidman down. With Kidman on the floor, Benjamin gets a tag that Rey doesn’t see while Rey is on Haas’ shoulders. Benjamin hits a springboard clothesline to combine with the powerbomb for the pin. Sweet ending.

Rating: B+. Very fun and flat out surprising win here. This is what happens when you let guys have time and show off: It flat out works. They were all over the place and got the fans into it. This was the basic idea of letting four talented wrestlers tear the house down and entertain the fans. Great match and fun as all goodness.

Back to Los Guerreros on Smackdown, September 18, 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Los Guerreros vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

The fans loudly cheer for Eddie who starts with Benjamin. They go to the mat first of course and it’s off to Chavo. This is Chavo’s first match after a torn bicep. The champs take over on Eddie but he fights out of the corner, hitting a belly to belly on Shelton to bring in Chavo. Chavo gets a wicked headscissors to send Benjamin to the floor where Los Guerreros hit stereo dives to take both guys out.

Back with the challengers still in control, beating Charlie down. Eddie gets taken into the wrong corner and double teamed for a bit. It doesn’t last long as he fights out and brings in Chavo. Shelton kicks his head off and Haas works on the bad arm. Northern lights suplex gets two for Shelton.

Back to Haas and the arm work continues. It’s so weird to hear Tazz being professional, talking about his past experience in the ring with the same injury and snapping off intricacies in moves being done. Chavo counters a double team move into a dropkick to Haas and it’s hot tag Eddie. There are Three Amigos but Haas escapes the third and hits a German.

Eddie gets a sweet arm drag/headscissors combo to take both guys down. Frog splash is broken up and the second attempt is rolled through because Haas moved. Haas grabs some chairs but Chavo pops up to take out Shelton with a dropkick into the chair into the knee. The Guerreros hit something that looked like Haas broke his freaking neck. Brainbuster sets up the Frog Splash and we have new champions.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid match here as both teams know each other very well. They would hold the belts for a little while before the Bashams took them. Chavo would turn heel on Eddie but lose at the Rumble before Eddie would win the world title in February. Anyway pretty fun match here and fine for a TV tag title change.

We’ll get away from the titles for a bit with this match at No Way Out 2004.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

Bradshaw has a bad arm. Both of these teams would split up in less than six weeks. It’s weird hearing about Heat being on Spike TV. Shelton immediately takes Farrooq down to the mat as it’s technical vs. power here. Wow it’s hard to believe Bradshaw was six months from being world champion and would hold it for the better part of a year.

The heels work over Farrooq’s arm as I guess they want the APA to match. Hot tag finally gets Bradshaw in as I wonder how many of these tags are actually hot. BIG powerbomb from Bradshaw gets two. Farrooq eats post outside as Bradshaw hits a fall away slam off the top on Shelton for two. Clothesline From JBL with the bad arm and Shelton hits a big superkick to end it.

Rating: D+. Another TV level match here that was just ok. Basic power vs. speed match here which wasn’t anything that bad but it wasn’t worth paying to see I wouldn’t think. With both teams splitting so soon after this, the winners due to the Draft and Farrooq retiring, this wasn’t really of any importance at all. Not bad though, but I could see this same match on a house show probably.

One last shot at the titles at Wrestlemania XX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Too Cool vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

That would be Scotty and Rikishi who are defending coming in. One fall to a finish again. Bradshaw and Shelton start things off with the Texan taking him down with a shoulder and getting two off an elbow drop. Doug Basham comes in to beat up Shelton now and it’s off to Danny. Shelton tags in Haas for a slam onto Haas’ knee in a cool spot. Scotty comes in to fight Charlie as this is going nowhere.

In another creative spot, Scotty skins the cat but lands in the Shelton jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Scotty for two. Charlie tags off to Doug for a kick to Scotty’s face. The hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house and knocks Shelton to the floor to break up the German suplex. Charlie gets a Stinkface and Bradshaw launches Doug to the floor with a fallaway slam. There’s the Clothesline to Danny but Bradshaw walks into a Samoan Drop. Rikishi sits on Danny to end it and retain.

Rating: D. Whatever man. Seriously, I wouldn’t have remembered this match if you put a gun to my head, just like with the other tag title match. They’re just not interesting at all and there was nothing here to remember at all. There needed to be just one set of tag belts at this point and these matches make it painfully obvious.

The team would be broken up by the Brand Split with Haas staying on Smackdown and Benjamin going to Raw. The team would finally get back together in late 2006 so we’ll pick things up at New Year’s Revolution 2007 with the team in a Tag Team Turmoil match.

Tag Team Turmoil

The idea here is a gauntlet match where you have two teams start and they have a match, then the winners face the next team. This was a bonus match that was thrown on so this is really just to fill in time. The winners get a future tag title shot. There are five teams in this and the first two are the Highlanders and the World’s Greatest Tag Team.

Roddy Piper has cancer here, which is a point as the Highlanders are also from Scotland. The WGTT are Benjamin and Haas for those of you that aren’t familiar with them. They really were good. Rory shows off his wrestling abilities and outmoves Shelton. That’s pretty impressive actually. Their names are Rory and Robbie in case you didn’t know that either.

After a bit of a brawl we have Shelton hooking a superplex from the top rope to put the Highlanders out. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Jim Duggan are a team here. Why’s that? I have no idea at all but it was a flat out terrible time for the tag belts back in the day so there you are. This one is far shorter as Duggan does most of the work and gets beaten down before getting a hot tag after about a minute or two.

Crazy comes in and cleans house but the Mexican gets a German suplex from the American for the pin. And people say WWE isn’t international. Cade and Murdoch are in next. They would soon become the flavor of the month in the tag division, meaning no one cared about them but they were pushed anyway as there was no one else around at all to do it otherwise.

They slow it down a lot here and take it to the mat with the rednecks dominating. That makes sense at least as we have the WGTT in trouble here. They were ok I guess but I never really could get into them. Vince had a deep infatuation with rednecks and hillbillies over the years though. Not quite to musclemen levels but close enough. Haas gets Murdoch in the Haas of Pain which was always awesome but Cade jumps him off the top to break it up and get the pin.

Crime Time, the hot team at the moment comes out to a great pop. JTG just bleeds charisma. He’s talented too so I’d pick him as the more talented of the two. Lawler actually has some information as these are the final two teams in this shindig. The heels are dominating early on here if you can call this early on. More or less at this point it’s just a regular tag team which is ok I guess.

Shad gets the hot tag and cleans ring. This was back when the team was interesting and funny rather than being the only face team on the roster and therefore over by requirement. They hit their assisted neckbreaker on Cade to win it. They never used the title shot as they were released a bit before it.

Rating: C. It ran for a bit too long but seeing four actual teams out there is a nice sign. This was ok but nothing great though. The pacing was fine though and it wasn’t bad at all for a gimmick match. This was meant to fill in time and it did its job rather well indeed. If nothing else, you can see how bad the tag team division is at this point.

The team would feud with the also reunited Hardys, including this match at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardys vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team

This should be awesome. Hardys are champions coming in. Big brawl to start but that’s the point of this match I suppose. Haas takes down both Hardys with a double clothesline and here come the ladders. All four have ladders so the Hardys throw theirs at their opponents’ and put a pair in corners. Haas gets buried under a pair of ladders in the corner and Shelton is pushed on top of them.

The Hardys start being the Hardys in a ladder match and dominate quickly but make a mental mistake (the Hardys? Nah) and both go up at once, only for Shelton to toss a ladder at them and take over. They work on Jeff’s leg and send him into a ladder in the corner so softly that the fans boo it. When do you EVER hear of a spot being booed in a ladder match? Haas and Benjamin both go up but they have the same issue the Hardys had and we all come down again.

Shelton dropkicks a ladder into Matt’s face and the World’s Greatest Tag Team takes over all over again. They set up a pair of ladders in a sea-saw pattern and according to rule 2 of ladder matches, they both get slammed onto it. Here come the Hardys again and a double clothesline takes everyone not named Shelton to the floor. The Hardys bring in the huge ladders and set one between the ring and the railing.

Shelton blocks a suplex through said ladder though, until Matt backdrops Shelton onto a ladder which he just bounces off. The ladder is bent and Jeff isn’t happy. He thinks to himself by George (and bonds. Pills. Maybe some cocaine too. My band’s album because no one else will) I want him to go through that ladder but Haas makes a last second save.

Matt takes Charlie down and goes up himself, only to get shoved onto the top rope. You know the move Haas and Benjamin do where Haas holds a guy up on the top and Shelton jumps on his back? Well here they use a ladder instead of a rope and Shelton jumps to the floor onto Matt’s back and more or less destroys it in an awesome looking spot. Charlie goes up but here’s your friendly resident drug addict (Jeff in case you thought Matt got up that fast) for a superplex off the ladder to the mat.

Everyone is down now and Jeff has a glazed over look in his eye. In other words, everything is normal with him. In one of the best accidental spots I’ve ever seen, Shelton tries to springboard from the apron to the ladder to stop Jeff but slips and flips forward, kicking the ladder over. JR actually does a decent job of making it sound intentional. Matt shoves Shelton off and starts climbing up two ladders at once. Everyone goes up and it’s a four way fight. The Hardys go down but maintain enough composure to shove their opponents off. Swanton kills Haas and Matt gets the belts to retain.

Rating: B+. Pretty good tag team ladder match here as they let all four guys go in there and just do their thing which is the right idea more often than not. Also they had time (seventeen minutes) here which helped a lot as well. Very hard hitting match here as they managed to make the older spots look good again. Rather good match and not much to complain about at all here.

After splitting throughout 2008, the team would briefly reunited in 2009, including this match on Smackdown, May 29, 2009.

World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Cryme Tyme

For those of you who forget, this would be Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs. JTG/Shad Gaspard in a match set up because Cryme Tyme cost the other two a match last night on Superstars. Charlie and JTG get things going with Charlie quickly taking it to the mat and pounding away. JTG comes back with a quick Fameasser for two before bringing in Shad for some big generic power. Shad charges into a pair of knees in the corner and it’s off to Benjamin for a slugout.

Shelton tries a go behind but Shad easily powers him into the corner before taking Shelton down with a shoulder block. Gaspard launches JTG onto Shelton in a splash for two but Haas interference lets the actually challenging team take over. We take a break and come back with Charlie getting two before bringing Benjamin back in. Oh and before I forget: Haas and Benjamin are officially “the team formerly known as the World’s Greatest Tag Team.” I for one certainly care am more interested in them now.

Shelton hooks on a neck crank for a few moments before it’s back off to Charlie. He drives some knees into JTG’s shoulder while talking a lot of trash. Back to Shelton who pounds away in the corner but misses a splash. JTG goes for a tag but gets caught in a sweet German suplex for two. Charlie comes in again but gets kicked in the knee and taken down with a spinning clothesline, allowing for the hot tag to Shad. A big powerslam gets two on Shelton as everything breaks down. Benjamin counters a backdrop and hits Paydirt (jumping downward spiral) for the pin on Shad.

Rating: D+. At the end of the day, Cryme Tyme sucked and there isn’t much else to it. The guys just weren’t that talented or interesting at all and it really started to show. How JTG is still employed in the year 2013 is beyond me, especially given that Shelton and Charlie didn’t make it to the end of 2010.

After some time on the indies, Haas and Benjamin went over to ROH in late 2010. Here they are on ROH TV, September 24, 2011.

Tag Titles: Kings of Wrestling vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

Each time someone comes to the ring they get streamers thrown at them. It’s annoying but I guess it’s something to get used to. The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. The champs (Haas/Benjamin) took the belts from them after the Kings held them forever. This is the first match in 24 minutes, meaning 40% of this show had zero wrestling on it due to highlight packages. That would be like 48 minutes without wrestling on Raw. Oh wait WE HAVE A COMMERCIAL BEFORE THE BELL.

There’s the bell and it’s been 27 minutes since the last match ended, or 54 minutes in Raw time. Haas vs. Hero to start us off. How did a guy like Haas get Jackie Gayda? Off to Nigel quickly so maybe he started and I wasn’t paying enough attention. Haas counters a few hip tosses and takes Claudio down with arm drags. This is match #4 in their series and the champs are 2-1 so far.

Blind tag brings in Benjamin and he hits a top rope clothesline to take over. Off to hero who gets caught in a small package for two. Hero sells a lot and things start to break down. Benjamin can’t hit the dragon whip and the Kings take over with nefarious means. Benjamin is thrown outside and Hero hits a baseball slide to take him out again. We take a break and come back with Claudio holding a headlock and hitting a powerslam for two.

Benjamin tries the tag and hits Dragon Whip this time but Hero pulls Haas off the apron. Charlie comes in and lets Hero hit an elbow to the back of the head for two. Off to Hero (Claudio got the two) and Hero hits a senton backsplash for two. Benjamin counters a double suplex into a double neckbreaker and there’s a leaping hot tag. Roaring Elbow by Hero is countered into a German and Claudio takes a T-Bone for two.

A rana and a big boot gets the same. Haas gets taken down and another elbow called the KTFO (you figure it out) gets two for Hero. Was there a tag there? The third spinning forearm/elbow (WE GET IT ALREADY) sets up a giant swing by Claudio as we go back to the 70s. The Kings set for their finisher (KRS 1) but it’s broken up by Benjamin. A hot shot sets up the thing where Shelton jumps over Charlie to land on the other dude’s back and a Hart Attack ends this at 16:48.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but dude, this was the best they could do? This is supposed to be the big and epic tag team division that is the best in the world? It’s not bad but it’s certainly not a classic or anything at all. I’ve definitely seen better stuff on Raw or Smackdown this year. I saw a match live that was better than this and I can’t even remember who were partnering with Orton and Christian.

And again on ROH TV, November 5, 2011.

Caprice Coleman/Cedric Alexander vs. Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team

This is one of those Proving Ground matches, meaning if the champions (Haas and Benjamin) lose, Coleman and Alexander get a title shot in something 60 days. There’s a 15 minute time limit here. Alexander has the blonde mowhawk. Got it. Coleman vs. Benjamin starts us off. Benjamin works on the arm to start and Coleman can’t get anything going. He’s trying though so give him some points for that. Coleman manages to send him to the corner and gets a surprised look from Shelton.

Off to Haas vs. Alexander who is a bit more physical than his partner. Benjamin gets a blind tag in and kicks Alexander down for two. The champs have never really been in trouble at all. Haas works over the knee as we take a break. Back with Alexander fighting out of something by Benjamin but Shelton kicks him down with ease. Haas works on a leg lock but eventually walks into a bad tornado DDT.

We’re over ten minutes in now if this is in real time. Double tag brings in Coleman and Benjamin who is taken down by a leg lariat for two. We have less than four minutes according to Kelly. The non-champions speed things up and hit a double dropkick to send Haas into the barricade. Three minutes left. Their clock is about 10 seconds off but it’s close enough. There’s a double powerbomb to Coleman and we’re done at 12:55.

Rating: C. Uh…so? The champions beat the newcomers with their finishing move. Is this supposed to be surprising in a way or something? If Coleman and Alexander were worth something they would be on the roster already. Not a bad match or anything but it’s not like anything changes now or in the future. I don’t mean it hurt anything but it didn’t change things at all.

One last match at ROH Border Wars 2012.

Tag Titles: Wrestling’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Brisco Brothers

The Briscos (defending) are Mark and Jay and have no relation to Jack and Jerry Briscoe. This is fight without honor, meaning it’s a street fight. It’s also unsanctioned, although it can somehow be for the promotion’s tag titles. There’s no Mark Brisco to start so apparently Jay is going to try to do this on his own. Actually, cue Mark in hockey gear with some stick shots to the back of Haas’ head. The brawl is on as the referee has to get rid of those stupid streamers.

Mark hits Haas in the throat with the hockey stick and the Briscos clean house. With the challengers on the floor and the announcer doing the intros, Mark dives on both guys as the brawl really gets going. Back in and the Briscos double team Benjamin as this has been one sided so far. Charlie pulls Shelton to the floor, only to be caught by a double baseball slide from the champions.

Shelton has a chair thrown onto his back as it’s kind of hard to keep track of the insanity. Back in and Haas gets an exploder suplex for two on Jay before choking him with his shirt. Haas charges at him, only to be caught in a downward spiral right into a chair wedged between the ropes. Shelton comes back in (there aren’t any tags in this) and blasts Jay down, only to have Mark save him from a chair shot. We go back to the floor where Jay catapults Charlie face first into the post as the champions continue to dominate.

Haas is busted open as Mark hits a running swanton off the apron onto Benjamin. An attempt at a second one misses (kind of?) but Mark brings in a wheel from a wheelchair. Jay pounds on Charlie in the ring as Mark goes up, only to be flipped off the top and through a table at ringside. A jawbreaker hits Jay but he comes back with a Death Valley Driver on Shelton. Jay goes up but gets distracted by Haas, allowing Shelton to run up the corner and suplex him down.

Shelton hits a spinebuster off the top for two on Jay as the challengers take over for the first time. Mark tries to come back in with the hockey stick but gets knocked back into the barricade. Charlie and Shelton try to crotch Jay on the post again but Mark makes the save. Mark starts cleaning house and flips Charlie off the top followed by a top rope elbow for two. Jay sends Benjamin to the floor as the fans want tables. Naturally ask and you will receive, as Jay sets one up on the floor.

Jay and Shelton brawl on the apron with Jay loading up something on his hand, only to have Shelton load up a German off the apron. Jay holds on to avoid a nasty case of death, only to hook an electric chair drop to send Jay through the table. Back in the ring Charlie sprays something on a rag and chokes Mark out with it for the pin and titles. It appeared to be ether or something like that.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid brawl and pretty easily the match of the night to this point. It’s not a great match or anything like that and the ending came out of nowhere, but it goes along with the no honor thing. This doesn’t come off like a match ending a feud, but then again this isn’t the biggest show of the year or anything so it’s understandable. Good match but that’s about it.

Haas and Benjamin were a very good tag team and maybe the top team of their era. Their best days were at the beginning but they had some solid efforts later on when they were on their various reunion tours. Unfortunately they were stuck with an AWFUL group of teams around them and became yet another big fish in a small pond, which happened far too often to tag teams in the 2000s. Check them out though if you like precision tag teams that seem to think as one.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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This is a rumor going around and I have a real hard time believing it’s true.Allegedly, any fans at shows, including house shows aren’t allowed to bring CM Punk signs or wear CM Punk merchandise.  If they’re seen wearing the gear, they’ll be asked to remove it or leave the arena.  I can accept (don’t read as I agree with it) the signs idea at TV as it’s going to cause a distraction but t-shirts at a house show?  As in t-shirts likely purchased through WWE?  Are they going to give you a replacement shirt?  Confiscate the shirt?  If someone is thrown out of a show and not given a refund, you can see the lawsuits and complaints starting up from here.  I’d pay to see WWE trying to spin “Well they were wearing one of our shirts and we didn’t want that!” in court.

 

Again, I don’t buy this as legit, at least not the shirts part.  If it is true though…….dude, come on.

Again, we might as well just name this after one of the Divas.

The problem with this award is how do you define bad. What makes a match worse than another? I mean, if a match lasts a minute and is horrible, is that worse than a match that lasts ten minutes but is just a hair higher quality? Is a match worse if it bombs on a big stage than if it’s a nothing match on some random TV show? For me, the lengths plays a role. I’d much rather sit through an atrocious four minute match than some 14:34 disaster that exists to promote a reality show.

In case you find that very specific, I think you can tell where I’m going. For me, this belongs to the Divas elimination match at Survivor Series 2014. This match went on FOREVER and featured more botches than a Sin Cara highlight reel. It’s clear that most of these girls could barely survive on a taped show so the solution was to throw them out there in front of the world? I know they need ring time, but make sure they know what they’re doing before they’re on the freaking Survivor Series.

To keep this from being short, here are a few other common answers that I didn’t select for one reason or another.

A popular pick is Undertaker vs. Lesnar, but I can’t call a match with that kind of historical significance that elicited that powerful of a reaction (more on that later) the Worst Match of the Year. Yeah it was horrible with Brock’s head not even coming close to the mat on the Tombstone, but I can forgive a lot of that with the Undertaker being injured early in the match.

Brock vs. Cena was much more of an angle than a match. Yeah it was a squash, but tell me you weren’t freaking out watching that. That made Lesnar look stronger than ever and blew my mind as I was watching it. I actually shouted NO WAY at my screen when he hit the F5 30 seconds in. It may have been dull, but it certainly got a response.

The last match I keep seeing was Orton vs. Cena at the Royal Rumble, which is much more bizarre than bad. It’s no masterpiece but it’s far from horrible. They know each other incredibly well and the fans really calm down after the first two or three minutes. It was much more an example of the fans rejecting something rather than it actually being bad. They even threw something new out there with the stealing finishers. It’s something I NEVER want to see again, but it’s certainly not the worst.

That Divas tag though is just a disaster. Cameron is somehow getting worse in the ring and dragging down the talented girls. Can’t we just have Naomi being the female Shelton Benjamin and Paige doing all her awesome stuff while Natalya and Alicia are in the background being passable? No, instead we have to watch the girls botch everything and then talk about how hard they work to get here and gain respect or whatever the latest Diva creed that Stephanie has come up with is.

This might be the easiest all year.

2014 was actually a really good year for pay per view for the most part. I couldn’t think of a show that I didn’t like at least to a degree. I know a lot of people didn’t like Battleground but the Usos vs. Wyatt Family was a GREAT match and the four way main event really picked up by the end. Things got far worse later in the year, but most of 2014 was a solid effort on pay per view.

And then there’s Bound For Glory. Now here’s the thing: TNA tried something here. I can certainly give them credit for trying SOMETHING new, but to call this experiment a disaster is the nicest thing I can say about it. The matches ranged from forgettable to WHY AM I WATCHING THIS with the opener being the best match on the card. I don’t actually remember what the opener was, but I remember it being watchable. I can tell you the brackets for the Wrestling Classic in 1986, but I can’t tell you who was in a match I saw two months ago.

Most of the show felt like a tribute to Team 3D, who were inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame. Now Team 3D had been involved in a great three way feud with the Hardys and the Wolves, giving us more than one Match of the Year candidates. Therefore, the solution was to give them a tag match against the random pairing of Tommy Dreamer and Abyss in a run of the mill brawl. Why bother having a great match when you can have an average one?

Great Muta, who had appeared once or twice in TNA, was the star of the main event and got to pin Sanada before Team 3D made the save to end the show. Of course that ended the show. Not the World Champion (not on the show), the guy he beat for the World Title (also not on the show) or the guy he was feuding with (you get the picture by now).

On top of that, there were two title matches on this show, which cost you $50. Those would be the X-Division Title and the Knockouts Title, the latter of which was defended in a glorified squash match. Now flash back with me to the 4^th of July and Global Impact Japan, a One Night Only event (which weren’t considered for this because I think I’m the only person that watched them). That show had three title defenses and two title changes for $15. When a filler show has a better card, more title matches, more significance and nearly four times the attendance than the biggest show of the year, you can tell something is off.

Bound For Glory was an attempt at something, but it was a halfhearted attempt. It became very clear that the show was for the Japanese fans instead of the American fans, but I can’t imagine how this show did them much good in Japan. It wasn’t entertaining, it didn’t mean anything, and it messed with one of the few good things TNA has going for it. Bound For Glory was, by far, the Worst Pay Per View of the year.

Time for one of the most famous tag teams of all time: the Fabulous Freebirds.

Now of course you’ve heard of the Freebird Rule, which means any two members can represent the team at any time. Therefore, this is going to be a big mix of combinations in chronological order.

The Freebirds actually got started back in the very late 1970s. The team consisted of the leader Michael Hayes, the power Terry Gordy and the technical Buddy Roberts. We’ll start things off with the team’s greatest rival and the team they’re easily best remembered against. From the David Von Erich Memorial Parade of Champions.

Six Man Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Von Erichs

Kevin, Mike and Fritz here. The Birds are the champions and the titles are represented by a big trophy instead of belts. Mike is one of the saddest stories you’ll ever hear: He wasn’t a good wrestler in the first place and then he was injured. The injury resulted in toxic shock syndrome, which resulted in brain damage. His dad, Fritz, made him get back in the ring anyway. He committed suicide later in the 80s.

This is anything goes. Fritz is in a dress shirt and jeans. Everything breaks down quickly and chairs are thrown in. The referee says anything goes but you have to tag. Ok then. Kevin is bleeding from the big brawl. Ok so it’s officially Buddy Roberts vs. Kevin to start. Kevin beats him down and it’s a brawl in less than 10 seconds with everyone coming in. Off to Mike who goes straight for the leg.

Mike is a very small man. Hayes comes in and stomps away as the fans HATE him. A middle rope splash misses and here’s old man Fritz. Everything breaks down again and Fritz whips Hayes’ back with a belt. Kevin vs. the monster known as Terry Gordy. Gordy starts his boxing and the fans are erupting more and more every second now. If the Von Erichs win, Kerry gets Fritz’s title since Fritz is retired. I’m glad they cleared that up.

Kevin tries the Iron Claw but Gordy fights it off at the five minute mark. Hayes comes in and the fans are louder in this match than they’ve been in the whole show so far. Hayes takes off his boot to get in some shots and it’s off to Roberts. In one of the oddest moves you’ll ever seen, Roberts thrusts his hips forward so his belt buckle hits Kevin in the head. Fritz comes in and everything breaks down. Claw to Hayes and to Roberts at the same time. Hayes is busted bad. Various people are rammed into each other until Kevin comes off the top with a cross body to pin Roberts for the title.

Rating: C. This was the first decent match of the entire show. Granted a lot of that was probably due to the crowd finally being interested. This was without a doubt the feud that defines the promotion so you knew they were going to have something going on here. Not a bad match, but the rematch in July won Match of the Year from Meltzer, so check that out instead since it had Kerry so Fritz didn’t look so out of place.

And the aforementioned rematch.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: Von Erichs vs. Freebirds

The titles are vacant and this is a Badstreet Match, meaning anything goes. The heat on Michael Hayes is just nuts but the Von Erichs are as over as free beer in a frat house. It’s Kerry, Kevin and the lowly Mike here. Mike tried but he just wasn’t very athletic and it caught up with him. The brawl is on while the announcer is still doing the intros and we’re told there are NO tags, instantly making this more awesome.

The Von Erichs clean house to start but the Freebirds are right back in to keep fighting. Kevin takes off his belt to hammer on Terry Gordy but Mike is thrown to the floor to give the Von Erichs a disadvantage. Terry is sent to the floor almost immediately after and Mike comes back in, only to hit Kerry by mistake. Gordy hits Mike low to put him down and this is going WAY too fast to keep up with.

Kevin has a boot off and is hitting any bird that he can find before a triple dropkick puts Terry outside again. He gets back in and nailed with the boot over and over again before Hayes is pulled back in over the top rope. Mike spends too much time beating up Buddy Roberts though and Hayes gets in a boot shot to the back of his head. Kevin slaps the Claw on Hayes but Gordy makes the save, only to get nailed with the boot some more.

Kevin is knocked to the floor as things slow down to just insane instead of unable to keep track of anything. Gordy rakes Kerry’s face as a cameraman goes down. Mike’s foot is caught in the ropes and Kevin is busted open. Terry hits Buddy with a boot by mistake and Mike sends Roberts to the floor. Everyone is back in again and with everything going nuts, Killer Khan comes in and blasts Kerry with something, giving Hayes the pin.

Rating: A-. Oh yeah I see why this is loved. They did not stop for nine minutes straight and just beat the tar out of each other the entire time. There’s no way you can have the Von Erichs lose a straight fight and this sets up the Von Erichs vs. Khan which is fine to keep things going. Great match, though I’m not sure on Match of the Year.

The team would head to the WWF in 1984 for a handful of matches before Andre yelled at them for being late, basically sending them back to Texas. Here they are in MSG on August 25, 1984.

Fabulous Freebirds vs. Butcher Vachon/Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty

Now here’s a rarity for you. This is 2/3 falls and to the best of my knowledge, this is the maybe five matches for the Freebirds (Michael Hayes, Buddy Roberts and Terry Gordy) in the WWF. The Birds are good guys here and it’s Hayes vs. Vachon to start things off. Feeling out process to start with Hayes avoiding a shot in the corner before it’s off to Shaw. Hayes puts on a headlock and kicks Shaw in the face for good measure. Off to Roberts who pounds away on Shaw for a bit as we seem to be in squash territory.

Gordy comes in for a one arm slam before it’s off to Doherty. Back to Roberts who chases Doherty into the corner for a tag to Vachon. A slam puts Butcher down and here’s Hayes again, only to have him miss an elbow drop. The unnamed team pounds on Hayes in the corner but Gordy comes in for a save. Michael slides through the legs and tags in Gordy for a cross body to pin Vachon for the first fall.

After a break we start the second fall with Gordy locking up with Vachon. A few slams put Butcher down and it’s off to Shaw again. This goes about as well as you would expect for a jobber against a team the company is trying to get over as Buddy snaps Ron’s neck over the top rope. Doherty comes in and starts some triple teaming on Buddy which goes nowhere so here’s Hayes again to pound away. Doherty misses a legdrop and everything breaks down. Gordy gets all fired up and Doherty is backdropped down. An elbow from Roberts gets the pin.

Rating: D. I’m getting tired of writing that but it’s another uninteresting match which just kept going. The Birds would be back to likely Texas soon after this as the WWF wanted to split them up. To be fair, a three man team was only going to be able to do so much in the WWF, so the Freebirds weren’t the best fit around here.

Back to Texas now with two thirds of the original team on WCCW TV on January 6, 1985.

Terry Gordy/Chick Donovan/Buddy Roberts vs. Mr. X/Skandor Akbar/The Missing Link

This is an odd occasion where the Freebirds are faces in this company which is like Ricky Steamboat as a heel. You just don’t see it that often. The second team is Devastation Inc., which was a top heel stable for a long time. This is elimination rules, tornado rules, and you can lose by pin, submission or being thrown over the top rope. It’s also loser leaves town.

The announcer is a very different style. His voice is fine as he apparently used to be a legit sports commentator in the Dallas area, but the way he speaks is odd. He goes over the ways you can win (being counted down for the 1-2-3, being ejected from the ring or giving in via a submission. It’s just kind of odd sounding but in a refreshing way). We’re part of the NWA here also.

Missing Link is RIPPED but he has a green face. Literally, along with black hair that looks like Bozo the Clown’s. The referee is in a WCCW t-shirt and red pants. Odd looking indeed. It’s a big brawl to start as it’ll likely be the whole time. Link almost goes out but manages to come back in. If I were his manager I’d suggest that he Try Force. That should work.

Link goes out but comes back in anyway. This is all over the place and rather hard to keep up with. Only one announce here too which is kind of weird. I told you it was like ECW. Ok apparently you can go through the ropes but not over them. Got it. X tries to get rid of Gordy forever but can’t manage to get him out. Why not autoban him? Donovan is fighting Akbar who is the leader, on the floor.

Never mind as they’re back in now. And never mind that again at Donovan is thrown out. He’s out of the company apparently. Oh wow ok this just got more interesting. X gets pinned by Roberts off a sunset flip but there goes Roberts, leaving us with Akbar/Link vs. Gordy.

Gordy gets Link tied up in the ropes and gets a spike of some kind into the neck of Akbar (A guy named Akbar at a show called Star Wars? Sounds like a trap to me) but Link saves. A few seconds of double teaming later, Link misses a charge to put out Akbar and is dumped out seconds later to end it. Well that was quick.

Rating: D+. It was very exciting but from a quality standpoint it was pretty bad. To be fair I have no idea on the backstory of this though so it’s kind of hard to know why all of this is going on. The match was certainly fun and the gimmicks didn’t overwhelm it. Having it go more than 8 minutes would have helped a lot though. Still not terrible but it could have been better.

The team headed to the AWA for a bit, including this match at SuperClash 1985.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

And this one at WrestleRock 1986.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

It’s off to the NWA now as Jimmy Garvin will start taking over the role of Hayes’ partner with Gordy heading to Japan and Roberts retiring. However, they did have a few major matches together, including at the 1987 Great American Bash.

Freebirds vs. Paul Jones/Manny Fernandez/Ivan Koloff

The Birds are faces here which takes some getting used to. This is the original lineup too with Hayes, Gordy and Roberts. Hayes and Fernandez start us off and Fernandez looks like an idiot after that exchange. Roberts comes in and gets double teamed by a cheating Jones (normally a manager) and Koloff. Koloff comes in to beat on Roberts and it‘s hard to believe he was WWF Champion at one point. Jones comes in and isn‘t very good. Here‘s Terry Gordy and this would be like Sheamus vs. Runjin Singh. Things break down and an elbow drop ends Jones quickly.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here that didn‘t mean much. Gordy was a monster though and ran through everybody at the end. He would team with Williams in 1992 in one of the most successful yet boring tag teams of the period. Anyway, nothing match and Paul Jones is one of the worst characters and managers of all time. This was from Atlanta as well.

Time to hit TV with Hayes and Garvin entering a tournament for the vacant NWA World Tag Team Titles. Here are the finals and semifinals at Clash of the Champions VII.

World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds

The Dudes are Johnny (John Laurinitis) and Shane (Shane Douglas), a couple of guys that ride skateboards. The Freebirds are Michael Hayes and Jimmy Garvin, the latter of whom is a replacement for Terry Gordy (in the corner tonight) who wanted to be a singles wrestler again. Garvin has been affiliated with the team for years but never officially joined them. Johnny and Shane beat Rip Morgan and Jack Victory in the first round while the Freebirds beat the Road Warriors. One more note: it’s roughly 100 degrees in the building as there are about 1000 people there and there was no air conditioning.

The Freebirds try to get in a cheap shot to start but walk into a pair of suplexes, sending them outside. Johnny and Michael get things going with Hayes quickly being taken down by an armdrag. Garvin comes in and gets the same treatment before the shorter Dude comes in for a wristlock of his own. A double elbow drop has Garvin in even more trouble Michael and Shane come back in with Hayes getting caught in a sunset flip for two. Back to Johnny who misses a cross body and crashes to the mat, allowing Jimmy to come back in and stomp away.

Johnny is sent to the floor and chopped by Hayes as the fans are all over the Freebirds. Back up and the two of them ram heads, allowing for the hot tag to Shane. Hayes breaks up another sunset flip attempt and everything breaks down. A double dropkick puts Hayes on the floor but the referee gets Johnny onto the apron. Shane rolls up Garvin for two but Michael slides back in and lays Shane out for the DDT, giving Jimmy the easy pin. This was the Dudes’ first loss.

Rating: C. Basic match here but there’s nothing wrong with that. The new Freebirds needed a win to establish themselves as a threat for later and the Dudes were far too new to be a threat. Surprisingly enough Gordy never interfered, despite being one of the most famous cheaters in wrestling.

World Tag Team Titles: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express

During the entrances, Dangerously comes out with a tennis racket and knocks Cornette silly. The Midnights take the racket and open the case, exposing a horseshoe and a chain inside. The Dynamic Dudes come out to carry Cornette to the back, leaving the Midnights at a 3-2 disadvantage. Hayes and Lane get things going with Stan scoring with some slams and armdrags, sending Hayes to the corner for a tag off to Garvin. Eaton comes in as well to drop an elbow on Garvin’s neck before bringing Lane back in for an enziguri.

A double back elbow gets two on Garvin and Jimmy is furious. The Freebirds have a meeting on the floor until Garvin comes back in for a knee to Eaton’s ribs. Bobby is thrown to the floor and Hayes pops him in the face with a right hand. Stan protects his partner from an even worse beating and get him a breather. Eaton makes it back onto the apron but gets knocked off onto the barricade to make things even worse.

Back inside and Garvin hooks a chinlock but Eaton fights up and sends him into the corner. Instead of trying to put up a fight, Eaton is smart enough to head right to the corner and tag in Lane who DDTs Hayes and tags Bobby back in far too soon. Everything breaks down and Lane dropkicks Hayes outside for a moment. Terry Gordy tries to interfere but gets knocked outside before Garvin takes the double flapjack for two. The referee is with Lane, allowing Gordy to come in and powerbomb Eaton, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match here and the idea of the Midnights being off their game due to Cornette not being around made sense. This was quite the year for Hayes as he had a brief US Title reign after stealing the title from Lex Luger at WrestleWar. The Midnights weren’t having the best year but they would eventually round back into form.

Gordy would pop up for one more match at the 1989 Great American Bash.

WarGames: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams

In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.

Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.

Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.

Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.

After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which looked very painful. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.

Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.

All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.

Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: Dang. Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.

Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.

Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.

Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.

Back to the regular tag team at Clash IX.

Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

Non-title. The Freebirds are still listed as World Tag Team Champions here, despite having lost the titles at a taped show a few days prior to this. Hawk and Hayes get things going and Michael runs from a big right hand. Animal throws him back inside so Hawk can kick him in the face.

The fans are all over the Freebirds here and it’s off to Animal vs. Garvin with Animal no selling Jimmy’s suplex. Hayes comes in and avoids a running shoulder block but it’s quickly back to Hawk to crank on the arm. Animal gets taken into the evil corner for some double teaming and Hawk doesn’t care for it. Everything breaks down and Hawk throws the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the Freebirds were never really in control. The Road Warriors weren’t a good choice for opponents here as they were far too dominant to be threatened by the Freebirds. At least the fans reacted to the Warriors though and that’s the right idea for an opening match.

And again at Clash XI.

Southern Boys vs. Freebirds

The Southern Boys are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers dressed like Confederate soldiers in their major show debut. The Freebirds jump them to start but get taken down by running forearms. Double clotheslines send the Freebirds to the floor and the fans are all fired up. Garvin and Smothers get things going with Tracy running into a knee in the corner. Hayes tries to interfere so the Southern Boys dropkick both Freebirds outside again.

Hayes comes in off the tag but gets in an argument with the fans before any action occurs. It’s off to Steve as well but Garvin gets the tag and scores with a backbreaker. Hayes cranks on an armbar before getting two off an elbow drop. A slam puts Armstrong down again but he gets up fast enough to slam Hayes off the top. Tracy and Jimmy come in off the tags as everything breaks down. Hayes takes Tracy’s head off with a clothesline but Steve comes off the top with a headbutt to Garvin’s back, giving Smothers the pin.

Rating: C-. The Southern Boys were a nice breath of air to the division as there was a big shift towards power teams around this time. They were both young and quick and a win over former World Tag Team Champions was going to make them look even better. The match didn’t have time to go anywhere but it was decent enough and the fans got into the ending.

The Birds would get a World Tag Team Title shot at WrestleWar 1991.

World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds

There’s a somewhat famous story to this that I’ll get to after the match is over. Before the match, DDP, the Freebirds’ manager, brings out Big Daddy Dink to be their road manager, whatever that means. Simmons and Hayes get us going and Simmons hits a quick spinebuster for two. Hayes hits a left hand for the same. Both Birds take powerslams for two. Garvin and Reed come in with Reed clotheslining his head off.

Garvin hooks a sunset flip for two and it’s back to Hayes. Reed looks a bit uninterested in the match for some reason. Garvin makes a blind tag but doesn’t jump Reed while he’s busy for some reason. A double elbow takes Garvin down and it’s back to Simmons. Boring match so far. Jimmy gets sent to the floor and hammered out there before it’s back to Reed in the ring. This is heel vs. heel for the most part so the dynamic is a bit off. Powerslam gets two on Garvin but Dink gets on the apron. Reed loads up his fist but hits Simmons by mistake, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.

Rating: F+. This was a horribly boring match. The whole idea here was that Doom is still having issues and would be broken up very soon. The Birds would be the subject of the story that I mentioned earlier which I’ll get to in a minute. The match sucked though as it was basically a squash with a screwy ending.

Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.

So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?

Here’s a US Tag Team Title match from SuperBrawl 1991, with a more detailed description of the -6 days title reign story.

US Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Young Pistols

Ok now hold on because this one if about as confusing as possible. Actually this match isn’t but the story leading up to it is cool so I might as well go into it anyway. As for this match, the Steiners were the US champions but when they won the world tag titles from the Freebirds the US belts were stripped and put up in a tournament, which this is the final of. Ok, that’s very standard stuff.

The WEIRD part is how the Steiners got the world tag titles. The Freebirds won them on February 24, 1991 and lost them February 18, 1991. You read that correctly. See, back in the day WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance over about a three week period. Think of what TNA does now but on a much bigger scale.

Anyway, the Freebirds won the titles at a PPV called Wrestle War which we might get to later as there’s a great WarGames match on there, which is of course the greatest gimmick match of all time. Anyway, they won the belts on a Sunday, but the taping where they lost the belts (which no one had seen them win yet) took place on the Monday BEFORE the PPV where they won them.

I think you can see the problems that this could cause and it bit them in late 1993 when Sid was supposed to win the world title at Starrcade but at a show in England he legitimately stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors so obviously he was fired. WCW had about three or four months of tapes set up with him as world champion, so those were now worthless and they had to scrap the whole thing.

This is why in the mid to late 90s on syndicated shows like Worldwide or the Main Event, you never see guys with belts as the commentary could easily be redone. So yeah, the Freebirds lost a pair of titles almost a week before winning them. Their reign lasted -6 days, which is how it’s recorded in a lot of sources. Oh yeah there’s a match here.

The Young Pistols were a cowboy kind of tag team that did nothing at all. It was Tracy Smothers, who would become far more famous and I use that term very loosely, and Steve Armstrong, whose brother is Brian, or Road Dogg. The Freebirds were legendary heels in WCCW out of Dallas and revolutionized heel tag team wrestling. This pairing is nowhere near that as they’re both old and more or less worthless at this point.

The original trio of Buddy Roberts, Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy is gone and it’s now Hayes and Jimmy Garvin who by law had to have made at least 5 adult movies in the 70s looks like he does. Anyway, this is for the midcard tag titles. That’s saying a lot about the tag title scene. Not only was there a strong world tag title scene, but there was enough of one to warrant a midcard tag title. That’s saying a lot.

If nothing else the Freebirds have the greatest theme song ever with Badstreet USA. Oh and they’re part of a stable called the Diamond Mine, which is run by one Diamond Dallas Page. Oh and they have a manager named Big Daddy Dink, who you would know from the 80s as Oliver Humperdink. Ok most of you won’t but he existed. Page is just a manager here and is already in his mid to late 20s here so he started WAY late.

The Birds are supposed to be a rock band here and to their credit Hayes sings their theme song so there we are. The Pistols are from Wyoming of all places. My goodness this has to be a record for longest amount of writing just to set up a match. There’s the bell and it’s Armstrong and Hayes. I can’t tell the Pistols apart which is likely because I don’t want to. Uh oh Ross is using football analogies. This could be a long night.

Brad Armstrong, Steve’s other brother and the most talented of the three comes out to balance out Dink which makes sense at least. The referee throws Dink out so that’s good as Brad leaves also. Steve completely misses a clothesline but Hayes sells it anyway. Have to love that old school mentality and experience shining through there. The Pistols actually aren’t terrible. They’re not good but there are far worse teams.

Ah there we are with some nice cheating to get the advantage swung. Sometimes all it takes is pulling a rope down and the heels are very heelish. Tracy freaking DIVES for a tag which looked a lot funnier than it should have. In a bad looking spot, the Pistols both go for missile dropkicks. Armstrong misses completely and Smothers hits Garvin but Garvin doesn’t do anything and Smothers goes down.

The Pistols are all over the place but they’re not hitting a lot of stuff. Dusty says there are going to be new champions here. Gee Dusty you think? In a tournament final there will be new champions?

After a ref bump, a masked guy in what would be called a black chicken suit comes out and beats up the Pistols, hitting both with DDTs from the middle ropes which would be the same as they stand on the mat while he does them but whatever. That gets the Birds the titles. While it was never revealed on TV, the guy in the suit was Brad Armstrong.

Rating: B-. I liked it. It’s a very formula based match but that’s often times the best thing you could ask for and this is no exception. It’s basic heel vs. face stuff but it held my attention for ten minutes which is more than most modern tag matches do. This was fine, but some people would be bored with it I think.

Off to the infamously awful Great American Bash 1991 with the team joined by the masked Badstreet, who didn’t last long but was incredibly talented.

Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds

The Pistols are Tracy Smothers and Steve Armstrong (later named the Southern Boys) while the Birds are Hayes/Garvin/Badstreet, who is Brad Armstrong (Steve’s real life brother) in a mask. The Birds are the US Tag and Six Man Tag Champions and this is elimination rules. Rhodes and Hayes get us going and I guess you can call them the captains. Hayes spends the first minute gyrating and strutting. Rhodes does the same thing which is funny but still time wasting.

They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.

Off to Garvin vs. Smothers and the Birds take more time to pose. Tracy hits a dropkick but misses his second, giving Garvin control again. Off to Armstrong who slams his brother off the top, followed by a BIG top rope clothesline. Badstreet goes to the floor and things stall again. Hayes comes in and it’s back to Smothers who works on the arm. Badstreet messes with Tracy enough to bring him to the floor where Tracy runs into a clothesline from Big Daddy Dink, the Birds’ manager.

Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.

Back to Garvin who gets two off a snap mare and hooks a chinlock. The fans chant what sounds like Gordy as Badstreet comes in and hits a neckbreaker for two on Smothers. Back to Hayes for some chops in the corner and a BIG left to drop Tracy. Hayes may be annoying but he can throw a mean left. The DDT is blocked though and there’s the tag to Armstrong. Everything breaks down and Armstrong goes for Badstreet’s mask. That lets Hayes and Badstreet hit a double DDT to eliminate Steve.

Maybe five seconds later, Hayes backdrops Tracy over the top rope to eliminate him (Hayes) by DQ. Garvin tags Badstreet in to slam Tracy, followed by a top rope ax handle. Back to Garvin and here’s Dink on the apron. Due to the distraction the tag to Dustin is missed, so the Birds DDT Armstrong to eliminate him. Again maybe five seconds later, Dustin clotheslines Garvin’s head off to get it down to one on one. So it’s Rhodes vs. Badstreet with the masked man in control. Dustin comes back with the lariat but Dink distracts the referee again. And never mind as the bulldog gets the pin to give Rhodes’ team the win.

Rating: D. This was another match that was long and boring. When the best thing in the match is a few left hands from Michael Hayes, you can tell you don’t have much. Dustin was brand new at this point and he had nothing as a result. The match here wasn’t so much bad as it was boring, which at this point is the worst thing they could have done out there.

One more US Tag Team Title match at WrestleWar 1992.

US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds

It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.

Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.

ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.

Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.

Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.

Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.

The NWA decided to vacate their World Tag Team Titles in 1992 for a tournament because they’re annoying and not that bright. The Freebirds had a first round match at Clash of the Champions XIX.

NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Silver Kings vs. Freebirds

The Silver Kings are Silver King and El Texano but they’re called #1 and #2 here. The Freebirds are the US Tag Team Champions, so of course they’re unseeded (just like the Silver Kings). Hayes reverses an Irish whip so #2 dropkicks #1 and Michael gets two off a slam. Garvin comes in and cranks on the wrist before it’s off to #2, sending Garvin running away.

#2 misses a missile dropkick and Garvin hammers away before getting two off a suplex. Hayes gets the tag and stomps away in the corner before strutting a lot. #1 comes in again as Jesse thinks this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. A top rope elbow gets two for #1 and the Silver Kings clean house. Things settle down again and #2 hits a dropkick on Hayes and takes him down with a drop toehold.

Back to Garvin who grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before both guys get up and make tags. #1 comes back in and dropkicks Hayes in the ribs before #2 comes in with a missile dropkick for two. Hayes finally nails his big left hand and everything breaks down. The fans want the DDT but get a pair of bad dropkicks to send the Birds outside. The Kings use what would become the 619 to send the Freebirds running away before #2 dives on them both. Hayes accidentally punches Garvin but #1 misses a dive and hits #2. Michael slides in for a small package on #1 for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a great example of two teams just completely clashing. There was no chemistry at all out there and both teams looked horrible. The Freebirds couldn’t keep up with the lucha libre team and the Silver Kings were very sloppy. I don’t know who thought this was a good match but it didn’t work at all.

And we’ll wrap it up with their second round match at Great American Bash 1992.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto

There’s a possibility this is out of order as I’ve found two different match orders in different places. This might be the third match on the card but I’m not sure. Either way it doesn’t make a ton of difference as the other match is up next anyway. Hashimoto is a huge guy who throws a lot of kicks. Hase is pretty good, whereas the Birds are just kind of there. Hayes and Hase get us going and it’s time to strut.

Hayes controls with a headscissors on the mat but Hase escapes with ease. Off to an armbar by Hayes and Garvin gets the tag. Hashimoto comes in and things slow down. This is a horribly bad contrast of styles here and I don’t really expect that much from it. They head to the mat and this isn’t going to be pretty. You can see the big problem with tournaments shining through here: there’s no story to any of these matches so they’re just wrestling matches which may be good and may be bad. That makes it hard to get into them almost every time.

Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.

Michael gets double teamed in the corner as the announcers talk about skunks. The Japanese guys get thrown together and won’t get out of the ring. Hayes punches them down and tags Garvin as everything breaks down. Hase hits a northern lights suplex on Garvin to advance.

Rating: D. This was bad and uninteresting. Hase was good but when you’re the only watchable guy in the whole match (yes I know Hashimoto is a legend), there’s only so much you can do. This was nothing at all and thankfully it was the shortest match of the show. The Japanese guys got loudly booed by the southern crowd of course.

The Freebirds may not have been the best in ring combination but they were masters at talking people into the seats. They were HATED in WCCW and were the perfect rivals for the Von Erichs. Hayes was an amazing talker and there really wasn’t a combination that didn’t work at least to a degree. Even the Garvin/Hayes combination won a bunch of titles, even though they aren’t as famous. The Freebirds are as influential of a team as you’ll find and they’re well worth looking up.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 22, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the Christmas special tonight with special guest host Hulk Hogan. That’s about as good of a name as you’re going to get and maybe we can finally see that Santa With Muscles sequel. I can’t imagine much of note happens tonight and odds are we wrap things up with a big fun tag match. Let’s get to it.

There’s a big Christmas set with trees and gifts.

Piper’s Pit returns tonight with Lana and Rusev, plus Big Show vs. Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt in a Miracle on 34^th Street Fight.

Here’s Hulk Hogan as Santa Claus to get things going. The fans chant Hogan but he says it’s Ho Ho Hogan. Tonight he’s giving presents to all of the Superstars and the WWE Universe, including the two matches already mentioned. Before he can hit the catchphrase though, here’s John Cena in red and yellow. Cena says that if there’s one man as iconic as Santa Claus, it’s Hulk Hogan.

For some reason, Cena starts singing Let It Go before throwing it to a clip of the end of last week’s show. The fans want Lesnar, and that’s exactly what Cena wants too. Cena says most people would say the decision should be reversed, but those are the people that get coal in their stockings. Last week he lost to Rollins fair and square, but now he wants a match with Rollins tonight. This brings out Seth Rollins to say the Curb Stomp from last week is why Cena can’t see what’s going on. No one wants to hear Cena’s voice anymore.

Rollins isn’t here to run down their careers because they’re both legends, but it’s Seth’s time. Hogan shouldn’t be in charge tonight because this should still be the Authority’s show. He goes on and on about how this is his time and how Cena was lucky to escape. If Hogan doesn’t grant Rollins his wish of bringing back the Authority, things will go bad for Santa. Cena tells him to shut up and turns down the Authority offer. Hogan instead just makes Cena vs. Rollins for next, thereby rendering the last few minutes basically worthless.

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Cena knocks him to the floor to start, drawing the Stooges up onto the apron to give Rollins his first opening. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Cena is in early trouble. Rollins knocks him into the corner and hits a running forearm before it’s off to a front facelock. John shoves him off so Rollins grabs the briefcase as a ruse so Mercury can get in a right hand as we go to a break.

We take a break and come back with Cena fighting out of a chinlock and firing off the shoulders, only to have Rollins duck to send Cena outside. There’s the suicide dive to drive Cena into the barricade but he avoids the springboard knee. A low superkick gets two instead but Cena tries a quick AA. Rollins lands on his feet but takes the ProtoBomb. Rollins blocks the STF and nails an enziguri to put both guys down.

Cena comes back by catching Rollins in a Batista Bomb of all things for two and it’s another stalemate. They slug it out with Cena hitting another ProtoBomb and the Shuffle, only to have the Stooges offer a distraction. He backdrops Rollins onto both of them before throwing him back inside for the top rope Fameasser. Cena loads up the top rope AA but gets countered into the running Buckle Bomb for a VERY close two.

The Curb Stomp is countered into the STF but Rollins is quickly in the ropes, only to have Cena drag him back into the middle. Cue the Stooges for the save but Cena beats them up and hits a double AA. The briefcase shot misses and Cena plants Rollins with the AA for the pin at 15:48.

Rating: B. I was hoping for a few more minutes here to make this great but it has to settle for just really good. These two definitely have chemistry and Rollins’ day is going to come soon. He already has the win over Cena last week in the big gimmick match and that’s the one people are going to remember. Very good match here.

Kane stands in front of a wreath and says bah humbug. Literally that’s it.

Jack Swagger vs. Fandango

Neither guy gets an entrance. Jack easily takes Fandango down to start but can’t get the Patriot Lock. A big boot puts Fandango down and a clothesline does the same with the fans not all that interested in what Swagger is doing. The Vader Bomb is almost blocked so the second attempt connects for two. Fandango goes to the apron for some kicks to the head to knock Swagger down and the guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 2:02.

Dolph Ziggler says the ladder match at TLC was one of the hardest matches he’s ever had. Tonight he’s defending against Harper again and knows that Luke is a nightmare come to life. He’s going to give the fans what they want tonight.

Adam Rose vs. R-Truth

The Bunny is still in a neck brace. Feeling out process to start until Rose wants to dance, allowing Truth to roll him up for the pin at 58 seconds.

The Bunny checks on Rose post match and Adam beats him up for I think the third time. He shouts at the Rosebuds and knees the Bunny’s head into the steps. Rose rips off the neck brace and storms past the Rosebuds as he leavs.

Edge and Christian host next week.

Hulk Hogan will be running Smackdown this Friday.

Big Show vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns easily takes him into the corner to start but Big Show easily picks him up and drops Reigns on the top rope. A shoulder gets two and Show sends him into the corner to keep dominating. We hit the chinlock as the fans are already chanting boring. Roman fights back up with a Samoan drop but the Superman Punch is blocked. Instead a dropkick to the leg takes Show down and the Apron Kick staggers him to the floor. Now the Superman Punch knocks Show onto the announcers’ table as Reigns is all fired up. He’s so fired up that he rolls in for the countout win at 4:22.

Rating: D. The match was dull for the most part but at least Big Show didn’t win. I’m assuming this keeps going because a win over Big Show is supposed to mean something, even though EVERYONE has beaten him over the years. I’d assume we get the blowoff at the first Raw of the year or the Rumble and it needs to end with total Reigns domination.

Dean Ambrose says he’s been a good boy all year. He went to the Mall of America to see Santa Claus today but had to settle for a security guard with a white beard. All he wants is Bray Wyatt, because every time a bell rings, Bray Wyatt gets a beating.

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Fallout from last week where Natalya made Brie tap in a tag match. Natalya quickly takes her down to start but stops to say something to Kidd, allowing Brie to take her down off the ropes. Two Brie Mode running knees to a seated Natalya are good for two and we hit a chinlock as this just keeps going. Back up and Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but gets small packaged only to roll through into one of her own for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D. I don’t freaking care. Seriously, I just do not care. I like Total Divas but dear goodness they’ve killed whatever interest I have in the Divas division with this Bellas vs. the World stuff. Again, basic wrestling logic says when you have someone vs. the World, THE SOMEONE SHOULD BE THE FREAKING GOOD GUY!

Natalya knocks Nikki off the apron and holds up the title.

Ascension is coming.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores/El Torito

Before the match, we hear the Dusts talking about giving their opponents red noses. Los Matadores come out to Christmas music and Torito is now a reindeer. Stardust wants Torito to start and I guess that’s going to be legal. The bull sends him outside to start and dives into an armdrag. Back in and it’s off to Goldust vs. Diego, with the masked man grabbing a sunset flip for two.

Goldust hammers him down and slaps on a chinlock before Stardust snaps the neck across the top rope. Stardust comes in off the top but dives into a dropkick, allowing for the hot tag to Diego. Everything breaks down and the bull tags himself in. Goldust spins Torito around and accidentally hits his brother, allowing Fernando to hit a Backstabber, followed by a Lionsault from Torito for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D. So let me get this straight. We make the heels underdogs by putting them in a handicap match, only to have them lose to the kids’ comedy character, likely signaling the split of the team who has had a career resurgence over the last year. I’m fine with the eventual split, but could you please THINK on your way there?

Luke Harper says he likes to take this time of year, so he’s going to give Ziggler a beating and take the Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler

Harper kicks him in the face before the bell to knock the champion out to the floor. A BIG suicide dive takes Ziggler down and Harper loads up a powerbomb, only to settle for the spinning Boss Man Slam. Back in and Ziggler says ring the bell so Harper superkicks him down and hits the Batista Bomb for two. Ziggler tries to fight up but gets catapulted throat first into the bottom rope as we take a break.

Back with Harper knocking Dolph to the floor again. Harper blocks a superkick and slams the champ face first onto the announcers’ table for two. Ziggler misses a Stinger Splash to give Luke two more and a pumphandle throw gets the same. A Michinoku Driver gets the third straight near fall but Ziggler grabs a sunset flip for two of his own.

Back up and the discus lariat is blocked by a superkick but Harper keeps going and lariats Ziggler for two. Harper’s powerbomb is countered into a facebuster and Dolph gets two more off the Fameasser. Another Fameasser is countered and Dolph hits two more superkicks, followed by the Zig Zag to retain at 11:26.

Rating: B. And they’re DONE. Seriously, there is no need for these two to have that same match again for at least six months. I feel like I’ve seen them fight about 50 times in the last month and a half and that’s not a good thing. Yeah the matches have been fun, but it’s the same exact formula every single time. I mean, it’s not exactly Sting vs. Vader out there so move Ziggler on to someone else.

Ziggler dedicates his win to the fans and says no one is taking the title from him.

It’s time for Piper’s Pit with special guests, Lana and Rusev. Lana starts fast, talking about how stupid America is for thinking Santa Claus brings them presents. Piper freaks out (of course) and says you can believe anything you want in America. Lana says then believe in this, and shows us a clip of Rusev taking out Ryback on Smackdown. Rusev says that’s proof he can crush Ryback so the fans chant FEED ME MORE. Maybe Piper would like to be crushed too? Piper say she’s Hot Rod and brings out Ryback with a bow around his chest. The fight is on in the aisle with Ryback dominating but Rusev bails before the Meat Hook.

The announcers list off some very specific areas in which USA is topping the ratings.

We recap the opening segment and Cena vs. Rollins.

Alicia Fox/Emma/Naomi vs. Paige/Cameron/Summer Rae

This is a Santa’s Little Helpers match but Paige doesn’t seem interested in the Christmas theme. To give you an idea of what I’m sitting through here, Emma starts by hitting Summer with her hair. Paige gets a LOUD chant to start before it’s off to Cameron for a Codebreaker for two. Off to Page for a headbutt and a big reaction from the crowd. Lawler brings up Xanta Claus which JBL declares the worst thing ever. Oh come on now it wasn’t THAT bad.

Paige stays on Emma with a chinlock until Emma fights up for a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Naomi to FINALLY do something interesting as she flips over the top and Stuns Cameron onto the ropes. Everything breaks down with Paige cleaning house until Alicia hits a kind of reverse Fameasser to pin Cameron at 4:22.

Rating: D-. Please…..make it stop.

Ascension comes next week.

Miz vs. Jey Uso

We get a pre tape before the match with Miz offering Mizdow a chance to sing, only to have time run out. Thankfully Cole is there to explain to us that the fans are booing Miz and cheering Mizdow. Miz does the pointing back and forth thing to start the BOO/YAY chant, basically making Cole’s explanation even more worthless.

Miz grabs a headlock to start but gets thrown to the floor, setting up a dive from Jey to take Miz down. Back in and Miz drives a knee into Jey’s ribs before slapping on a chinlock. Jey fights back up with a Samoan drop but has to roll out of the Finale. The Figure Four is countered but Miz rolls him up with a handful of tights for the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D+. Like most of the bad matches tonight, this didn’t have time to go anywhere. The story is still there and it’s still interesting, but they need more than three minutes to set something up. I do like that Miz actually got a win though as it at least keeps the story moving forward.

Preview clip of the Mick Foley episode of Monday Night War. Original air date: September 9.

Here’s Bray to sing It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year. He notices how people surround themselves with everyone they love during the holidays. Maybe they do that because it makes them feel safe. Do the people here tonight feel safe? Safety is an illusion that guards you from the other world outside your window. In that world, there is no Santa Claus or sugar plums dancing in your head. There is only evil, pain and sorry. That is Bray Wyatt’s world and he is the king. You can help him create this world by looking to the sky and following the buzzards.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Street fight. Dean hammers away in the corner to start and we have a pile of presents at ringside. JBL incorrectly says we haven’t seen a Boot Camp match in thirty years, ignoring the one we saw at Tribute to the Troops between Shawn and HHH in 2005. Yeah that’s a few years back, but JBL was on the show and apparently helped organize it. Anyway Dean takes him to the floor and throws him into a Christmas tree.

Ambrose slams the tree into him but stops to open a present, finding a TV monitor. Thankfully it isn’t plugged in but Dean puts it back in the box anyway. Instead he finds a table with a bow on it but opts to hit a suicide dive (third one of the night) to drive Wyatt through some boxes. He loads up the table and wraps a wreath around his neck but Bray runs up the aisle. That’s fine with Dean who puts the wreath around Bray and nails him, before just chucking a box at Bray’s head.

Another package is opened to reveal a chair but Bray sends him off the stage and through a table as we take the last break of the night. We come back with a long tracking shot from the stage to the ring for a unique visual. Dean fights out of a chinlock but gets slammed down for two and put back in the hold. They head outside again wth the fans asking for ONE MORE TREE. Bray listens to them and sends Ambrose into a tree for a good reaction.

It’s candy cane kendo stick time with Bray nailing Ambrose in the chest over and over. Bray puts the stick in the corner like he did at TLC but Ambrose saves himself. Not that it matters as Wyatt NAILS him with a clothesline for two. Wyatt wedges a chair in the corner and of course goes head first into it. Dean erupts with chops and punches, followed by a bulldog to put Bray down.

The Rebounding Clothesline drops Wyatt again and a White Russian legsweep sets up the middle rope chair elbow for two. Now it’s ladder time but Bray Spiders up and Rock Bottoms Ambrose onto the ladder for a close two. Dean counters Sister Abigail and sends Bray into the ladder to take over again. The standing elbow from the ladder gets two more but Bray fights out of the pile of chairs. He sends Dean face first into the kendo stick in the corner for the pin at 21:24.

Rating: B-. Another good match between these two but just like Ziggler vs. Harper, I’m sick of seeing it. Mix the feuds up for a bit or even just swap the people out with Wyatt vs. Ziggler and Ambrose vs. Harper. I like Bray leaving with the win, but I’m over seeing these two fight anymore.

Naturally Dean sprays him with a fire extinguisher and elbows Bray through the table to end the show, meaning the feud will continue.

Overall Rating: C-. When this show phones it in, they can produce some of the least interesting stuff I’ve seen in a long time. The matches aren’t all terrible for the most part, but there’s just nothing to make me want to keep watching. Cena vs. Rollins, the Intercontinental Title match and the main event were entertaining enough, but the stuff between them dragged this through the floor. As I’ve said many times, the good was good but the bad was awful. Also, as almost always, cut 45 minutes of filler out of this and it’s WAY better. Short version: they’re closing out the year with the same issues they’ve had all year.

Results

John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment

Fandango b. Jack Swagger – Guillotine legdrop

R-Truth b. Adam Rose – Rollup

Roman Reigns b. Big Show via countout

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper – Zig Zag

Alicia Fox/Naomi/Emma b. Cameron/Paige/Summer Rae – Reverse Fameasser to Cameron

Miz b. Jey Uso – Rollup with a handful of tights

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Wyatt threw Ambrose into a kendo stick

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