Monday Night Raw
Date: March 3, 2014
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

This is one of those shows I’ve been wanting to see for what feels like months. We’re in one of the holy lands of smart fans and there’s a possibility that they’ll try to hijack the show with CM Punk chants. We’ll also get more build to Wrestlemania, including a match between Daniel Bryan and Batista. Let’s get to it.

First thing up: CM Punk’s music but Paul Heyman coming out instead. Nice little tease there. Heyman holds the mic out to the crowd as a HUGE CM Punk chant starts up. Heyman: “I believe he deserves louder than that.” He sits down in the middle of the ring and says he’s here to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy who was never truly wanted in WWE. This was a Paul Heyman guy that was too small to main event Wrestlemania with too many tattoos who would rebel against the first family.

He’s here tonight to tell you about a guy born in, raised in and still living in Chicago. His name is Paul Heyman and this is his pipe bomb about CM Punk……who is not here this evening. After pausing for another CM Punk chant, Heyman says no one is more upset than him about CM Punk not performing in this ring tonight. So what happened? Why won’t anyone talk about why CM Punk isn’t here tonight? There’s someone to blame for why Punk doesn’t get to perform around here. That finger of blame is being pointed at every single fan here tonight.

This is why Heyman finds it easier to lie all the time. He managed Punk to a 434 day WWE Title reign and then the fans took him away with promises of love and affirmation. But all that did was take Punk away from everybody, including the fans themselves. Heyman also blames the Undertaker because Punk couldn’t stop the Streak last year and now Paul wants revenge. He wants to see Streak taken away from the Undertaker, but how do you kill someone who is already dead? There is only one man that can conquer the Streak: the beast incarnate, Brock Lesnar.

A ticked off Lesnar comes out and we see a clip from the end of last week’s show with Undertaker stabbing Brock with a pen to sign the contract for Wrestlemania XXX. Brock says Undertaker is scared to death of him and last week proved it. Many people have tried to conquer the streak but many men have failed to do so, including Chicago’s own CM Punk.

The Streak will be conquered by Brock Lesnar and Lesnar is ready to leave, but here’s Mark Henry for a staredown. Brock says bring it on and charges right into a right hand. Mark gets thrown into the steps and Lesnar looks livid. He blasts Henry in the face with the steps with one of the hardest shots I’ve seen in years. An F5 through the table knocks Henry even more out cold and the fans chant for Punk.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos

The Outlaws are defending but Road Dogg doesn’t think the fans here are worthy of hearing his catchphrases. It only took them two months to remember they’re heels. Jey hammers on Roadie to start but gets whipped hard into the corner. Uso comes out holding his knee so Dogg kicks him to the floor for a breather. Billy throws him back inside and hammers away before it’s back to Dogg. Jey’s leg seems to be holding up well enogh and Dogg even works it over a bit. Roadie throws him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down for two. Dogg comes back in and takes a spin kick to the face (the knee seems fine). The hot tag brings in Jimmy to face Billy. Dogg gets knocked off the apron and a Samoan drop puts Gunn down. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Billy and the running Umaga attack in the corner to Roadie.

A reverse Whisper in the Wind hits Gunn and there’s a superkick to knock Dogg to the floor. Gunn rolls up Jimmy for two and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. The Fameasser just misses and the Usos do the plancha with the flying tag, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to FINALLY give the Usos the Tag Titles at 9:27.

Rating: C+. It’s about three years overdue but this was the best way to do it. I have no problem with the Outlaws keeping the title for just a few weeks as they put the young guys over 100% clean before Wrestlemania. Good little match and they made it feel like it meant something, which is rare for these titles.

The Divas watch a clip from Need For Speed and pine for Aaron Paul. Apparently Dolph Ziggler is riding here with Paul tonight. Aksana wants to ride with him too because she likes fast cars.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Non-title again. Cesaro quickly catches Big E. in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and the fans are completely behind him. Big E. sends him into the corner and snaps off a great belly to belly suplex, only to be sent to the floor before the Warrior Splash can hit. Big E. drops Swagger with a right hand but walks back inside for the Swing. Not that it matters as Swagger runs in for the DQ at 1:24.

Cesaro takes the Big Ending post match.

Shield vs. Wyatt Family

The fans think this is awesome while Bray is still in the chair. He stands up and whips off the hat but Ambrose and Rollins dive through the ropes to take out the Family. Reigns runs over Bray and sends him to the floor as the bell ring. Harper puts Rollins on the top rope but Seth backflips off and lands on his feet, runs into the ring and flip dives onto Harper and dives back inside to flip dive onto Rowan. Rollins goes back up but Bray throws Ambrose into the ropes to knock Seth to the floor in a nasty fall.

Back from a break with Rollins in a chinlock before being run over with a shoulder block. Ambrose goes to yell at Bray and Reigns goes to get him, leaving no one for a free Rollins to tag. Seth hits a quick Downward Spiral to send Rowan into the middle buckle and makes a tag to Dean as things speed up. He runs over Erick and hammers away before going after the leg.

Dean slaps on a Figure Four but Harper breaks it up with a double stomp. Reigns comes in as Dean brawls with Wyatt. The fans are WAY into Wyatt here as he hammers on Ambrose’s head and shouts a lot. Ambrose is caught in the cultish corner as the fans think this is awesome. Another Punk chant stars up while Harper stands on Dean’s chest. Back to Rowan for the fist vice but Dean is still able to taunt the Wyatts. He pulls Erick’s beard to break it up but walks into a sidewalk slam for two. The fans chant for Reigns as Ambrose takes Harper’s head off with a clothesline.

Bray comes in and knocks Roman off the apron, leaving only Rollins to take the tag from Ambrose……but he drops to the floor. Seth walks away and Roman tries to play peacekeeper. Rollins shouts that Reigns wasn’t there for him when he needed a tag so the other two can figure it out. Wyatt runs over Ambrose but Roman makes the save. Reigns goes nuts with Superman Punches and Ambrose is back in as well.

Reigns hits a running boot from the floor to the apron as Ambrose hammers on Wyatt. Reigns spears Rowan over the announce table and Harper hits a suicide dive to send Reigns over the table. Dean goes after Luke but Bray posts him. Rollins is still on the ramp as a THIS IS AWESOME chant starts up. Sister Abigail is enough to end Ambrose at 13:55.

Rating: B+. This wasn’t the match from Elimination Chamber but it didn’t need to be. We already got the showdown and tonight was all about the story. There’s more to come from this story as Rollins looked conflicted about his decision, meaning there’s going to be something special at Wrestlemania. Again, I’m loving this time in WWE and this is going to make Wrestlemania even better.

Batista thinks the YES Movement is one of the stupidest things he’s ever seen. These fans are turning someone like Daniel Bryan into a superhero but he could never be like Batista. No one may like it, but they have to deal with it. That’s a great heel catchphrase.

The Usos will defend against the Outlaws tomorrow night on the live Main Event special.

Santino Marella/Emma vs. Fandango/Summer Rae

We open with COMEDY as Santino keeps high fiveing Emma which means they have to switch. Fandango jumps Santino to start and gets two off a spinwheel kick. Santino comes back with a jawbreaker and it’s off to the girls for some Emma dancing. The Dilemma (Tarantula) sets up the Emma Sandwich (running cross body to a seated Summer) and the Emma Lock gets the win at 3:24.

Rating: D+. Believe it or not the fans actually didn’t hate this. Emma is the kind of girl that is going to get over due to being rather cute and fun when given the chance, which she’s finally getting. It helps that she can go in the ring and some of those submission holds proved it. Nice showing here but I’m tired of this same match in various forms week after week.

Stephanie loves showing her daughters great moments in McMahon history on the WWE Network. This is treated like a sweet moment.

Sheamus vs. Christian

Christian stalls before the bell and then slaps Sheamus in the face. The chase is on and Christian is sent into the barricade. Back in and a knee drop gets two on the Canadian but he sends Sheamus into the corner for some choking. Christian slaps him in the face again and gets an Irish Curse for his efforts. Sheamus misses a charge to the floor but just steps out of the way of a plancha. Christian escapes a powerslam and hides behind the announcers as we go to a break.

Back with Christian missing something off the middle rope but still being able to shove Sheamus off the top and out to the floor in a BIG crash. Christian throws him over the barricade and talks trash before taking Sheamus back inside. Sheamus says bring it on so Christian suplexes him down but misses a top rope splash. The rolling fireman’s carry sets up the ten forearms but Christian fights out. Christian goes up top but gets caught in mid air and now the ten forearms connect.

A running knee on the apron sets up a running knee in the ring for two for Sheamus. The Irishman is holding his shoulder and arm so Christian takes him down and gets two off the frog splash. Back to the CM Punk chant as White Noise gets a VERY close two. Christian throws him to the apron but Sheamus hits a quick Brogue Kick anyway and comes back inside for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: B-. Definitely the best match in their series as they treated it more like a fight than a match. The crowd of course didn’t care and called the match awful because they’re petulant children that only care what they want and have no problem messing with three million fans at home because it’s what they want to do.

Back from a break and Christian jumps Sheamus in the back and hits the injured arm with I believe a light.

Bella Twins vs. Aksana/Alicia Fox

Brie runs over Aksana to start but it’s quickly off to Alicia to ram Brie’s head into the mat. The heels work on Brie for a bit as this is already going nowhere. Fox slams Brie out of the corner but gets slammed down for two. Nikki finally comes in off the tag and shouts COME ON a lot. Everything breaks down and the Rack is good for the pin on Alicia at 4:17.

Rating: D-. Next.

Preview for a new USA show called Sirens.

Here’s Daniel Bryan with something to say but he has to wait for the crowd to calm down. He says the fans have a voice and he’s not leaving this ring until one of two things happen. The fans chant for Punk but Bryan says he isn’t leaving until Batista comes down to fight him or HHH accepts his challenge for Wrestlemania. Here are Stephanie and HHH to answer, drawing an even louder CM Punk chant. Thankfully HHH acts like a heel this time and soaks the whole thing in.

Bryan ignores Stephanie and lays out his evidence of HHH holding him back for the last six months. Daniel is stronger than ever and wants to settle the score at Wrestlemania. HHH says that’s not going to happen and asks why Daniel’s generation can’t accept it inadequacy. He dubs this the Excuses Era because no one in this era can just admit that they’re not good enough. They blame eveyrone else and make excuses about being held down and buried.

The reality is that anyone who has ever failed in WWE is because they weren’t good enough. Bryan is nothing more than a B+ player and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, it’s not enough to make HHH lace up his boots at Wrestlemania. Bryan says the fans chant because they see through HHH’s lies and there go the people again. HHH claims to be doing this for the WWE Universe but he just isn’t listening to what they want.

They want to see someone like him succeed and the only way he can do that is by beating HHH at Wrestlemania. Stephanie says they won’t listen to this sea of inadequacy because they’ll turn on you at the drop of a hat. The only people that won’t turn on him are her and HHH because they know what he means for the business. Stephanie gives the whole “my family made all this” speech, so Bryan asks to fight her at Wrestlemania while HHH wears Stephanie’s skirt.

HHH thinks she would beat Bryan up too, but Bryan vs. HHH just isn’t happening. He goes into his most condescending voice and says Wrestlemania is the showcase of the immortals. As much as Bryan hates it, he just doesn’t measure up and needs to get out of HHH’s ring. Bryan says this is the fans’ ring but HHH says Bryan and all of the fans belong to him, so get out. Daniel says make him so Stephanie calls out Kane. The FLYING GOAT lays out Kane but the referees pull Daniel off of him.

We look back at Lesnar destroying Henry.

The expert panel recaps the night.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler comes in via a Shelby Mustang driven by Aaron Paul from Need For Speed. Paul is a shorter guy but has a ton of energy which is all you can ask for from these guys. He jumps in on commentary as the fans chant for Ziggler. Del Rio takes him down and does Ziggler’s hair flip pose as the announcers talk about video games.

The tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Del Rio but the low superkick misses. Ziggler gets two of his own with the running DDT but Del Rio slams him down again. Paul gets up on the announce table and the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 2:43. This is par for the course on the guest star segments anymore and that’s fine.

Paul Bearer is announced for the Hall of Fame. Nothing wrong with that.

Big E. vs. Jack Swagger

Cesaro runs in for the DQ at 4 seconds and Neutralizes Big E.

The Real Americans argue post match and Cesaro loads Jack up in the Swing but Colter calls him off. The fans chant for Cesaro to do it and he lets Swagger go. Colter says help your brother up and Cesaro does so, albeit roughly. Zeb makes them hug it out and they reluctantly obey.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane is made for tomorrow night’s live Main Event.

Here’s a limping Cena (after the Wyatts’ intro started by mistake) who can’t even do his signtuare entrance. The fans chant for Punk and Cena thanks him for the usual Chicago welcome. Cena can’t wrestle tonight, drawing a HUGE YES chant. He’ll take that as their version of get well soon. John is out here to feel that energy from the crowd because he’s had some great moments in this arena, such as getting his face kicked in by Brock Lesnar and having a very special match with somebody at Money in the Bank.

Cena says he’s heard about this whole hijacking thing and it’s clear that the people want change. He can respect that, but success has to be earned and change comes through him. That brings him to Bray Wyatt, who isn’t in the driver’s seat after last week. Cena started his career in this arena and he’s still standing tall right here.

The Wyatts appear on screen and Bray asks if Cena can feel these people. Cena reminds him of a great throughbred racehorse that has been winning his entire career, but then he starts to slow down. That horse is now in the back of the barn waiting to be put down. How long does Cena think he can fend the Wyatts off? Bray is the reaper and he is going to put Cena down because he knows Cena’s greatest fear. The loneliest man on earth is the man who sits on the top of his empty castle. Follow the buzzards.

Orton wishes Batista luck out there tonight.

Alexander Rusev speaks Bulgarian on the stage.

We look back at Hogan returning last week and see him on the Today Show. Hogan has a Wrestlemania announcement for next week.

Batista vs. Daniel Bryan

Orton comes out to watch. The bell rings at 11:02 so this probably doesn’t last long. Cole incorrectly says this is a first time ever match on Raw as these two fought once back in 2010. The fans immediately chant BOO-TISTA as he runs Bryan over with a shoulder. Daniel goes after the leg though and Batista is in trouble. A dropkick to the knee puts Batista down again and Bryan follows up with a half crab. Batista kicks him off and knocks his head off with a clothesline. The fans think Batista can’t wrestle as he throws Bryan to the floor….and we take another break.

Back with Bryan backflipping over Batista and hitting the running dropkicks in the corner. Batista rolls to the floor to avoid the third so it’s the FLYING GOAT. The YES Kicks get two but here comes the Authority for a distraction. The fans chant for Punk as Batista sends Bryan into the steps. Daniel is thrown into Randy Orton and Batista looked annoyed. Daniel is thrown back inside and gets an overrated chant plus a high kick from Daniel Bryan. Not that it matters as Orton comes in to attack Bryan for the DQ at 10:10.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here but they were just waiting for the screwy ending to close things out. I was thinking they would have Bryan get the pin here to change things up even more but this keeps the triple threat hopes looking solid. At the same time it keeps the Bryan vs. HHH hopes looking solid so I’m still not sure where they’re going. That’s still an awesome feeling.

Post match Orton loads up the RKO on Batista but gets shoved into the running knee. Bryan goes after the Authority but gets speared down by Batista. HHH gets in the ring and yells at Bryan but Daniel kicks him from the mat. A Batista Bomb lays out Bryan and HHH adds in a Pedigree, leaving the Authority standing tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This was the WWE fighting back against the fans and showing the product is what really matters. The fans chanted all night and at the end of the day it came off as desperate pleas for attention instead of something witty or funny. The Punk chants just got annoying by about 9:30 and I don’t think anyone was paying attention to them.

The show itself was very solid with Wrestlemania being shored up and a title change that needed to happen finally taking place. Brock looks like a killer heading into Wrestlemania and there are still doors open for major matches on the card. WWE is at it’s full power here and it’s a very exciting time. Bryan and Punk are still wild cards and there’s the announcement next week that might be something interesting. Good show this week and things are really picking up.

Results

Usos b. New Age Outlaws – Superfly Splash to Gunn

Big E. b. Cesaro via DQ when Jack Swagger interfered

Wyatt Family b. Shield – Sister Abigail to Ambrose

Santino Marella/Emma b. Summer Rae/Fandango

Bella Twins b. Alicia Fox/Aksana – Rack to Fox

Dolph Ziggler b. Alberto Del Rio – Zig Zag

Big E. b. Jack Swagger via DQ when Cesaro interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Batista via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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It’s about time.Paul Bearer is in.  I’ve had that typed three times now so I’m glad he’s finally announced.  Nothing wrong with this pick as usual.

And it still worked.Shield seems to have split tonight with Rollins walking out on Ambrose and Reigns due to them not being on the apron for a tag.  THere’s more to come though as Rollins looked very conflicted about his decision.

And got the crowd to calm down a bit.The Usos FINALLY won the titles by clean pin over the Outlaws.  The place went nuts for it too as it should have happened years ago.

He just hit Mark Henry with the hardest shot I’ve seen in years.  Undertaker is actually going to die at Wrestlemania.  He’ll win the match, but his corpse will get the pin.

This is a real thing.

 

 

The imagine isn’t great but if you can’t read it, here’s a slightly better picture.

 

http://www.rspwfaq.net/2014/03/tonights-chicago-objectives.html

 

Then, this might happen tonight:

It’s another double shot today as neither choice is strong enough to warrant a full entry. Today we’ve got Crimson and Brodus Clay.

Crimson debuted in TNA as Amazing Red’s brother in December 2010. He quickly established an undefeated streak and had his first major match against someone familiar with undefeated streaks in Samoa Joe. From Slammiversary 2011.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

Crimson hits the ring and they slug it out immediately.  The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Crimson.  Suicide dive is blocked by a forearm from the floor and there’s a big boot back in the ring by Crimson.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Cravate goes on so Joe gets a bad dragon screw leg whip to take the red dude down.  Crimson hammers away on Joe but walks into a kind of atomic drop sort of a move to the knee.  That was different.

He takes Crimson down with relative ease and there’s a leg bar for a few seconds.  Spinning toe hold by Joe as we go back to the mid 1870s.  Crimson counters into a triangle choke and then an arm bar which gets him nowhere.  T-Bone suplex by Crimson takes Joe down as the fans are trying to get into this.  Double arm DDT gets two.  The fans chant Mercer, which is Crimson’s real name I believe.

Suplex and a clothesline by Joe get two.  Joe goes up to the middle rope for a Rough Ryder for two.  Joe is all frustrated.  “Dang man end this match already before the buffet is empty.”  Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab.  We get a Gumby reference of all things as the hold stays on.  They slap it out and Crimson gets a spear to take Joe down.  They slug it out again with Crimson knocking him back into the corner.  Now Joe knocks him back into the corner but can’t get the Musclebuster.  Clutch can’t go on either so there’s the Red Sky to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty good big slugout here and it’s good to see Crimson actually face big time competition for a change.  Pretty good match here with the ending being pretty clear, but a nice test for Crimson nonetheless.  I don’t think Crimson is as great as he’s made out to be, but this worked pretty well for what it was.

Crimson would hook up with Matt Morgan and win the Tag Team Titles in 2012. Here’s a title defense from Genesis 2012.

Tag Titles: Matt Morgan/Crimson vs. Samoa Joe/Magnus

Joe starts with Morgan and the tall one is taken down quickly. Off to Crimson who is the least interesting undefeated person this side of Tatanka. Magnus comes in and gets double teamed by the champs. Morgan hits his corner elbows and Crimson hits an overhead suplex for two. Back to Joe who runs Morgan over. Crimson comes in and has the same result as Morgan had.

Magnus comes back in and we go split screen as Ray is beating up Abyss. And now we’re back full screen as Joe has a chinlock on Crimson. We get a dueling “We Want Morgan/No We Don’t” chants. Crimson spears Joe down and we’re told that Bully Ray is trending worldwide on Twitter. Off to Morgan who hits the Hellevator (not called that) to Magnus but Joe breaks up the pin.

In a HORRIBLE looking sequence, Joe hits a bunch of strikes in the corner, followed by the middle rope elbow from Magnus. It only gets two though, due to Crimson breaking it up. The horrible part: Magnus flew off of Morgan about a second and a half before Crimson even touched him. Magnus reverses a chokeslam but a double version is enough to pin Magnus at 9:38.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t click for me at all. The messed up save really took me out of the match. Joe just isn’t going to get pushed no matter how much he gets cheered and how much his opponents get booed or get no reaction, because it’s just been decided that he’s not going to get pushed. Listen to the fans TNA. It just might work.

They would lose the titles and as is Matt Morgan’s custom, the former champions would enter into a feud as a result. This one culminated at Lockdown 2012.

Crimson vs. Matt Morgan

Crimson is now billed as “The Undefeated” on his graphic. Crimson goes for the door very quickly but Morgan keeps pulling him back in. Morgan walks into a clothesline for two as momentum shifts. Crimson rams him into the cage as the crowd is a little more awake now. He chokes Morgan on the ropes and a spinebuster gets two.

Crimson sets for what looked like the spear but walks into the discus lariat. Big boot puts Crimson down and it’s followed by a nice belly to back suplex. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint in the corner but gets tangled in the ropes. Crimson tries a quick escape but they wind up fighting on the top rope. Morgan gets crotched and tied up in the rope, allowing Crimson to climb out for the win at 7:26.

Rating: D. You know, if the time is such a problem tonight, maybe you could have this go a few more minutes and have the TV Title go longer than three minutes. It might keep the issues down a bit more. Anyway, this match was really boring as the feud has been put on hold for the last two weeks. This show is bordering on disaster at this point but there are some big matches to come.

James Storm would return from an injury as a surprise at Slammiversary 2012 and give Crimson his first loss with relative ease. With the winning streak broken, there was no reason for Crimson to be around for awhile. He went down to OVW for further training and quickly won the Nightmare Rumble to earn an OVW Title shot against champion Johnny Spade in September of 2012.

OVW Title: Johnny Spade vs. Crimson

Spade is an OVW mainstay and one of the biggest stars in the company’s history. Johnny grabs a headlock to start but is quickly knocked to the floor with a shoulder block. The announcers talk about Crimson stealing the Nightmare Rumble from Rob Terry after Terry lasted over an hour, setting up a future program. Crimson sends Spade into the barricade but the champion comes back with some kicks to the ribs.

We take a break and come back with Crimson holding a chinlock before running Spade over with an elbow to the jaw. A hard slam gets two for Crimson and the challenger is very cocky. Spade misses a dropkick and gets caught in a quick cravate. Crimson puts him on the top rope but Spade comes out with a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Spade sends him into the corner for a double knee to the back but Crimson blocks a Swanton with knees to the back of his own.

A spinebuster and high collar suplex get two each for Crimson but Spade grabs a loose triangle choke of all things. Crimson powers out of it but runs into a kick to the face (not Spade’s superkick finisher) to stop him cold. Raul Lamotta comes out for a distraction but Shiloh Jonze (Spade’s former best friend) runs out and drills Spade with brass knuckles, giving Crimson the title.

Rating: C+. Nice match here, as was often the case in OVW. Spade was kind of like a Shawn Michaels, as he was a smaller guy fighting a monster but he was just good enough that you believed he could shock the world. Crimson looked good and is far more interesting as a heel who had been playing mind games to get the title shot.

Crimson would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Rob Terry. This led him to starting a paramilitary stable called the Coalition Forces with another hot prospect named Jason Wayne as the co-leader. Now called General Crimson, he would face another OVW mainstay named Jamin Olivencia (he’s been a jobber on WWE TV a few times under various names) in a #1 contenders match in March of 2013.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Crimson

Crimson looks FAR more intimidating with the rebel flag, camo vest and sunglasses. There are five other members of the Coalition Forces with Crimson here, including one guy covered in grass as a disguise. Crimson and OVW Champion Doug Williams might be in cahoots as well, which ties in to Olivencia as he beat Williams but had the decision overturned for reasons that aren’t quite clear. Crimson actually sends the Coalition to the back because he wants to do this on his own.

Jamin is taken into the corner but comes out with a right hand to the face, sending Crimson out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Crimson hammers away as the announcers argue about whether or not Jamin lost to Doug Williams. Crimson is knocked to the floor again and walks back in to a headlock from Olivencia, only to counter into a chinlock. Jamin goes up top but gets pulled down to the mat for two and we hit the chinlock again. Olivencia fights up again and dropkicks Crimson to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Crimson getting two off something we couldn’t see and putting on the chinlock for a third time. Off to a camel clutch as the announcers bicker even more about secret meetings. Jamin fights out but gets taken down by a hard running clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jamin fights up and hammers away in the corner. Crimson takes it outside and throws Olivencia onto the announce table but can’t hook a piledriver.

Back in and Olivencia scores with a spinwheel kick for two but Crimson counters Jamin’s DDT into a spinebuster for two. Crimson crotches Jamin on the top and hooks a superplex for two. Jamin comes back with his DDT but Doug Williams pulls out the referee and sends him into the steps. The Coalition runs out and destroys Jamin, giving Crimson the pin.

Rating: B-. This was far better than I was expecting with both guys looking solid. The Coalition is another heel stable but I like having it headed up by one person instead of several. Crimson was in charge here and could do a decent enough power style in the ring to make it work. If nothing else it makes me want to watch more OVW.

Crimson was a guy that had a great look but the undefeated gimmick really hurt him. At the end of the day the streak went on WAY too long and people just didn’t care when it was over. Couple that with the fact that he never won anything and it’s easy to see why people weren’t interested. The paramilitary gimmick was WAY more entertaining and interesting looking, making me think there’s a lot of potential left in Crimson. He’s only 29 after all so there’s a lot of time left.

Off to Brodus Clay, who is a rather scary looking man. He started as G-Rilla in developmental before going by his more famous name in the fourth season of NXT. One of his first major matches on that show was a fatal fourway elimination match on January 25, 2011.

Brodus Clay vs. Byron Saxton vs. Johnny Curtis vs. Derrick Bateman

 

This is the second week in a row where I couldn’t remember Curtis’ name.  That’s not good when I’ve watched every episode of this show.  This is elimination rules, no tagging, winner has the option of changing their pro.  Everyone goes after Bateman for some reason instead of Brodus.  He is thrown into a suplex from Brodus and is pinned in less than a minute.

Now they both go after Brodus as I scratch my head trying to figure that out.  They manage to get a suplex on him but Curtis tries to steal a rollup on Saxton which gets two.  Brodus is collecting himself on the floor so the others are in the ring.  Curtis takes out Brodus with a dive, leaving Saxton in the ring as we take a break.

Don’t try this at home.  These are good PSAs for lack of a better term to run.

Back with Brodus nailing Saxton with a clothesline.  Curtis is down on the floor and lets Saxton get beaten down like an intelligent person would.  Saxton gets something close to a Stunner to take Brodus down for two.  Curtis tries to come in off the top but gets caught.  He knocks Saxton down and gets a double guillotine legdrop to put out Saxton at 4:30.  We’re down to Clay and Curtis.

Clay is reeling and Curtis adds a European Uppercut to send him back on his heels.  Brodus is like wait I’m huge and splashes Curtis in the corner.  Off to the nerve hold which is my least favorite rest hold of all time.  Curtis fights out of it and rams some shoulders into the corner.  Josh has picked Rey to win the Rumble apparently.  Johnny goes up but jumps into the Tongan Death Grip Slam to end it at 7:20.

Rating: C+. This was quick and I think that was the right idea.  These guys aren’t very good in the ring so they kept this short.  Putting Bateman out that fast was kind of awkward but maybe that was due to an injury or something.  This was ok and probably about as good as it was going to get.

 

After hooking up with and being abandoned by Alberto Del Rio, Brodus would stay on Superstars for awhile before disappearing for three months. He would return as the Funkasaurus in what I thought was the surprise of the year in 2012. One of his first big matches was against The Miz at Extreme Rules 2012.

Brodus Clay vs. Dolph Ziggler

The “smart” fans chant for Ziggler and they go to the floor quickly. Swagger runs over Brodus to put him down and get him in trouble for the first time. Back in Ziggler pounds on him but Brodus comes back with a headbutt. A knee lift misses and the Fameasser gets two. Another dropkick gets one and it’s time for a modified sleeper. Brodus stands up and easily throws Ziggler over. Dolph tries a suplex and is easily thrown off. Brodus gets all fired up and shakes, including a shot to Swagger. Headbutt to the ribs sets up the splash for the clean pin at 4:19.

Rating: C. This is EXACTLY what Brodus needed. He’s squashed jobbers for months now so a real win where he had to fight off some people is a great upgrade for him. Ziggler hammered away on him and certainly didn’t get squashed, which is how you make someone like Clay look great. Good stuff.

Brodus would lose his first match to Big Show, sending his career down a good bit. He would however captain a Survivor Series team at Survivor Series 2012.

Team Clay vs. Team Tensai

Brodus Clay, Sin Cara, Rey Mysterio, Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel

Tensai, Prime Time Players, Primo, Epico

My goodness they’re USING THE BIG FREAKING ROSTER THEY HAVE. This is a smart move that they never use for some reason. I miss the King’s stupid lines. Apparently the fans got to pick Rosa’s dress tonight. Uh….sure. Kidd and Epico start things off with Kidd taking it down to the mat quickly. Off to an armbar by Kidd before Epico bridges into a backslide. This is some awesome stuff actually. Kidd sends him to the floor but Epico slams him face first into the apron to take over.

Off to Gabriel for some kicks and a legsweep before it’s right back to Kidd. Scratch that as it’s Young vs. Mysterio now as this is hitting a bit of a dull spot. Cara and Mysterio hit a combination wheelbarrow slam/X-Factor for two for Cara. Primo comes in and takes the Tajiri Elbow and a rana to send him into the corner. Primo slams him down and it’s off to the Big Bald. JBL rattles off some NJPW stats for Tensai and it’s off to O’Neal.

That also goes nowhere so it’s off to Epico again for a camel clutch. Cara finally escapes and hits an enziguri before making the tag to Brodus. Everything breaks down and the four tag team guys on the heel team are sent to the floor. Kidd and Gabriel hit stereo suicide dives to take out the Puerto Ricans and the masked guys hit stereo Asai Moonsaults to take out the Players. Awesome sequence there.

This leaves the two monsters left in the ring alone in a match we’ve seen a lot of times before. Clay tries his overhead suplex attempt but it basically turns into a Downward Spiral, which makes me wonder if there’s more to Ryback not being able to Shell Shock Tensai. Brodus misses a splash in the corner and gets shoulder blocked down. The backsplash from Tensai takes out Clay and we’re down to 5-4.

Kidd tries to fire off some kicks but gets run over as well. Off to Titus again with an abdominal stretch to slow things down. A backbreaker from Titus puts Gabriel down and the backsplash from Tensai gets two. A second attempt misses and Justin rolls him up for the pin. Back to O’Neal as we’re down to what this match likely should have been in the first place.

Epico comes in to chop away and hit a butterfly suplex for two on Gabriel. Off to some chinlockery but Epico misses an elbow drop and there’s the hot tag to Kidd. Scratch the hot part as he’s immediately sent to the floor and stomped on by Primo. Back to Titus for more pounding but a big boot misses and O’Neal crotches himself on the top rope, allowing Kidd to hook his spinning sunset flip for the elimination.

Young immediately comes in to stomp away as it’s Cara/Mysterio/Kidd/Gabriel vs. Epico/Primo/Young. Epico comes in and rolls some belly to back suplexes but Kidd sweeps the legs and it’s a Sharpshooter for the elimination. It is Survivor Series after all. Primo comes in now and suplexes Kidd down, only to dive off the top onto some knees.

There’s the hot tag to Rey who speeds things up and kicks Primo in the head for two. The seated senton by Rey gets two and La Magistral leaves Young on his own. There’s the 619, a Swanton from Cara, a top rope Lionsault from Justin, a top rope elbow from Kidd and a top rope splash from Rey to END Young for the win at 18:27.

Rating: B-. Very solid choice for an opener here with everyone looking good to great out there. This is what they should do with the three hour Raw’s: let the small guys go out there and tear the house down for ten minutes or so to fire up the crowd. This worked really well for an opening match and the high flying sequences were all really fun. Good, fun match here which is what the roster is capable of when it doesn’t have stupid writing weighing it down.

Brodus and Tensai would soon form a tag team called Tons of Funk and proceed to do….not much. They did however team up on September 17, 2013 on Smackdown.

Tons of Funk vs. Prime Time Players

Brodus pounds on Young to start before it’s quickly off to Tensai and an elbow/side slam combo. Young bails to the floor and Titus dives on Tensai as he goes after Darren. O’Neil comes in and runs over Tensai, only to miss a charge into the corner. Hot tag brings in Brodus to splash Young in the corner. A powerslam gets two as Titus makes the save (despite being late and the referee having to pause his count early), only to be thrown to the floor. The double splash ends Young at 2:44.

When you look back, Brodus really hasn’t done much. At the end of the day, he’s not much other than a good look but he’s had some decent performances at times. Most of that has been due to his character, but at least it’s better than nothing. Not much to him, but he’s better than some choices.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I was getting a bit tired of scrolling through 800 comments so I made a new page.  It’s on the bar on top as usual.

 

KB

As you’ve likely heard, Cena’s knee injury was revealed to be a work, but it turns out he has a legitimate groin strain.  This gets me to thinking.It strikes me as interesting that Cena has a REAL injury less than a week after a major worked injury was revealed to be fake.  It’s almost too much of a coincidence.  Everyone’s reaction: “He’s not a good enough actor to pull that off.”  Any chance that’s exactly what WWE was hoping we would say?

Today we’re going to look at a group of people instead of just one or two. It’s WCW’s attempt to have a youth movement in the span of a month with the Natural Born Thrillers.

While it was way too late to help WCW, they decided to bring up a group of seven guys who were prospects in the Power Plant as a unit. It didn’t help that they were almost all interchangeable save for Mike Sanders who could talk circles around them and had almost no personalities at all, but it was a nice idea. We’ll look at each of them with a few matches each because they really didn’t do enough in WCW to cover a long selection.

We’ll start with the group’s leader, Mike Sanders. He didn’t have anywhere near the look of the other guys but he could talk far better than the rest of them. Sanders didn’t have a ton of success in the ring but he did win the Cruiserweight Title (with the help of Kevin Nash). Here’s his lone PPV title defense from Mayhem 2000.

Cruiserweight Title: Mike Sanders vs. Kwee Wee

Kwee Wee is more or less Rico lite and has an alter ego known as Angry Alan. We see clips of Goldberg destroying Kwee Wee on Nitro. Uh…ok then. Nice to see the young guy getting pushed so hard. We see Goldberg destroying Sanders also. Wow great job of pushing these guys as meaning something. Sanders slaps Kwee Wee and here we go. We get the Angry Alan part to start us off here with “Above Average” Mike Sanders being in trouble very early.

Here come the Thrillers and we get the dumbest referee spot I have ever seen. The referee sees the Thrillers coming and stops Kwee Wee from jumping them. Jindrak hits a springboard clothesline to take out Kwee Wee but the referee turns and doesn’t see it. He see Kwee Wee down and Jindrak on the other side of the ring and is just fine with this. Yep that’s the kind of show to expect here it seems. There is a very cool spot where Jindrak and O’Hair throw Kwee Wee over the top from the floor and Sanders catches him in a powerslam. Awesome.

And here goes any sense of wrestling in the match as Meng of all people comes out with Paisley (Kwee Wee’s manager and more commonly known as Sharmell, Booker’s wife) in a big afro wig. He fights the Thrillers and gets Reno and Stasiak in Tongan Death Grips to take them down. Ric Flair and security comes out to get rid of everyone. This whole time we haven’t had a single shot of the match.

They’ve managed to overbook the opening match. And people wonder why this company went out of business. And now back to the backdrop that is our title match. And we come back for a chinlock. Madden and Stevie get into it about Stevie being in his brother’s shadow for years. Getting a little personal there buddy. They argue over what a hold is called forever. Here’s the face comeback.

Sanders is the Commissioner at this point. Madden: this never happens to Paul Tagliabue (Roger Goodell for you younger fans). Kwee Wee goes for a sunset powerbomb to the floor but Sanders gets a nice counter into a rana. Paisley hands Kwee Wee the afro for no apparent reason. And now she comes in and hits a handspring elbow which isn’t a DQ either. Sanders grabs Kwee Wee and hits the 3.0 (Orton’s backbreaker. I love that pun) for the pin to retain maybe 3 seconds later.

Rating: D. Just stupid nonsense here from WCW, the undisputed master of stupid nonsense. Was there any reason to overbook a Cruiserweight Title match between the commissioner and a comedy character? We technically had 9 run-ins with six Thrillers, Meng, Flair and Paisley. Seriously, we get it. There’s no need to have this much additional stuff going on. The match was boring on top of that, or at least what I saw of it was.

Sanders would then move into a feud with Ernest Miller over being the commissioner of WCW, including this match from Sin.

Mike Sanders vs. Ernest Miller

The winner is Commissioner. Sanders says he’s in this for the money and that Ms. Jones is on the line here. WCW: pushing sexual slavery all the way to 2001! At least Jones looks good. For the life of me I have never gotten the appeal of the Cat. He says he’s going to be Commissioner and take WCW all the way to the top. I’ve got nothing for that one. Somebody call his mama. How did they never have her show up?

After a quick fan applause contest won by Miller we’re ready for the match. Cat starts in control and chases Sanders to the floor, only to get drilled by Sanders on the return to the ring. Cat gets a kick to take him down and hammers away. Does this guy know how to do anything but strikes? Sanders gets a snap mare and kicks him in the head. A sunset flip is countered by a crotch chop and an elbow from Miller.

Big kick (yes we get it you can kick him) by Miller puts Sanders down but he manages to send Cat to the floor. Chair shot is broken up by Jones which is stupid because Sanders would have lost if he had hit Cat. Jones chases him with the chair as the Thrillers come down for the big beating. Kronik makes the save and somehow the referee DOESN’T SEE ANY OF THIS, despite being in the ring the whole time. Adams shoves the money in Sanders’ mouth as he channels his inner DiBiase before a big kick to Sanders from Cat ends this, making Miller commissioner again.

Rating: D. Boring match for another authority position which means I have to watch more of Miller. I’m not complaining about seeing Jones dance but at the same time, Miller is annoying beyond belief. Weak match and what a shock: the bigger the names get, the worse the show gets.

Sanders really would have been better suited as a manager and for the most part that’s what he was. It’s not like he was awful or anything but he was little more than a guy in above average (some of you will chuckle at that) shape who could talk. He’s now a standup comedian which actually fits far better for him.

Next up is Chuck Palumbo, who was something resembling Val Venis with thicker hair. He was mostly a tag wrestler but would have the occasional singles match, such as this one against Scott Steiner, though this is before the Thrillers formed.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner takes him down to the mat to start and pounds in elbows to the side of the head but Chuck kicks him down. A flying shoulder gets two on Scott but he comes right back with a nice belly to belly. The beating continues with a clothesline and second suplex from Steiner as we’re entering squash territory. Chuck comes back with some jobber offense but gets caught in the Recliner for the submission.

Rating: D. This was a squash but it’s nice to see a future star (work with me here) getting some ring time. It’s not a good match and the only interesting thing was looking at the girls that Steiner had with him. Palumbo had a look to him but he was better off as a narcissist instead of being a generic guy here.

One of Palumbo’s only singles feuds was against Lex Luger. The two of them feuded over Palumbo parodying Luger’s Total Package gimmick, including this match from February of 2001 on Thunder.

Lex Luger vs. Chuck Palumbo

Luger grabs a headlock to start but gets dropkicked and clotheslined for his efforts. The quickly head to the floor with Palumbo being whipped into the barricade as Luger takes over. Luger chokes a lot and starts hammering on the back until Chuck punches him down. Luger makes a quick comeback and calls for the Rack but gets small packaged for a fast pin.

Rating: D. This was just a punch and pose match which wasn’t all that intersting. It didn’t help that Luger was a shell of the shell of himself that he was by this point. Nothing to see here for the most part, but it’s a nice idea to see a veteran get pinned by a young guy. Shame that it’s happening a month before they go out of business.

Next is probably the best known of the Thrillers: Sean O’Haire. This guy had the look and the athletic background to go somewhere but stupidity held him up. We’ll start with a triple threat from October 2000 against Rey Mysterio and Disco Inferno.

Sean O’Haire vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Disco Inferno

All three are parts of tag teams in a three way at Halloween Havoc 2000. O’Haire sends both of them to the floor but the numbers catch up with him as Disco scores with a bulldog. Sean flips over Mysterio but gets clotheslined down by Disco. Rey and Disco fight for a bit but O’Haire picks up Rey in a sitout powerslam for two. The Animals botch a spot where Disco tries to launch Rey at O’Haire but Inferno gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. Everyone goes to the floor for a brawl and Rey dives on O’Haire’s partner Mark Jindrak, allowing O’Haire to hit a springboard Swanton for the pin on Disco.

Rating: C-. Better match here but it’s mainly because O’Haire was awesome in the ring and could have been a huge star. The tag division was a mess at this point (much like everything else) but the Thrillers were at least offering some fresh blood out there. Disco continues to be little more than a decent comedy act and Rey wasn’t interested at this point.

Same idea but a few months later with O’Haire vs. Lex Luger from March 5, 2001 on Nitro.

Lex Luger vs. Sean O’Haire

Luger jumps him to start but Sean slams him down for two. A clothesline gets two for Luger and O’Haire comes back with clotheslines of his own for the same. Luger runs him over with a forearm as you can see the arm obsession from both guys. To give you an idea of WCW at this point, Tony hypes up the in ring return of DUSTY RHODES as a focal point of the show. O’Haire tries to flip over Luger out of the corner but jams his knee on the way down, giving Luger a target.

Cue O’Haire’s partner Chuck Palumbo to beat on Luger, not drawing a DQ for no apparent reason. Luger’s partner Buff Bagwell comes in and beats on Sean with a chair but the referee prevents them from Pillmanizing Sean’s ankle. Buff accidentally hits the Blockbuster on Luger, allowing Sean to hit a Swanton for the pin.

Rating: D-. Yes amazingly enough WCW overbooked a six minute match. This is very much in the vein of the time Kidman beat Hulk Hogan: it doesn’t come off as a victory as much as O’Haire capitalized on the heel making a mistake. There was nothing here, which has been the case for months now for the Thrillers.

Sean O’Haire had the most potential out of all of the Thrillers and should have been something big. Even in WWE he was treated as a big deal with the highly praised devil’s advocate character, so naturally WWE put him on the back burner so they could push Roddy Piper vs. Rikishi to recreate an angle from 20 years earlier. Wrestling is stupid sometimes and O’Haire isn’t even the business anymore, retiring at about 35 years old.

We’ll move on to the worst member of the team in Shawn Stasiak. Not that he wasn’t talented mind you, but he was older than the rest of the team (Palumbo was about the same age but looked ten years younger) and had already appeared for a few years in the WWF. It didn’t quite work, but it’s WCW so they pushed him as a young guy anyway. Here’s one of his matches against G.I. Bro, more famous as Booker T, from the 2000 Great American Bash.

Shawn Stasiak vs. G.I. Bro

And here’s the latest way to waste a guy like Booker: he’s a military guy when there’s already a military themed stable. He comes in on a zip line like Shawn did at Mania 12, but at about 1/3 of the height and 1/10 of the speed. The announces speculate that Kanyon was the surprise because they’re not that smart. Oh apparently Booker is part of the MIA. It just wasn’t mentioned until here.

This is a Boot Camp match, which means Last Man Standing. Why they’re fighting isn’t required information but I’d bet it’s MIA vs. New Blood. They’re both in camo here because that’s what you do in the army right? Booker takes him to the floor and hammers away as we go into the crowd. WEAK chair to the head (drawing slight booing) takes down Stasiak for all of a second. A horrible top rope forearm gets about seven.

Oh and don’t worry: we’re willing to cut away to the back at the drop of a hat if Goldberg arrives. You know, because you paid your money to see a car pull into a parking lot 45 minutes into a show right? Jumping back elbow puts Booker down and they actually treat it like a move that could end this. Big spinwheel kick by Booker takes him down for no reaction for the most part.

Stasiak sends him to the floor and we head to the ramp for a suplex. Back in the ring as there’s no heat on this match in the slightest. Back to the floor again as they have no idea what to do with nearly 14 minutes total for this match. Chair shot puts Booker down on the floor and back in the ring a gutwrench powerbomb gets 9. Time for a sleeper because this match isn’t boring enough already.

The fans chant boring and I can’t blame them in the slightest. This is what we mean when we say adding a gimmick for the sake of adding a gimmick. They can’t even explain why these two are fighting and yet we’re supposed to want to see a gimmick match between them an hour into the show in the fifth slot? There’s no heat here and the only reason this gimmick is here is because someone has a military gimmick.

Book End hits out of nowhere and I don’t bother waiting to hear what the stupid military name of that is. They call it a uranage suplex here but screw that. Of course it only gets like five but it sets up the missile dropkick, as in both of his finishers that can’t take down Stasiak. Palumbo, Stasiak’s partner, comes out with the Lex-Flexor exercise bar but hits Booker low anyway. A shot to the back of Booker puts him down as Tony rants against relaxed rules in a match with no rules. Booker gets up and mostly hits a double clothesline and beats up the tag champions on his own. A shot to Stasiak with the flexor ends this.

Rating: D-. Oh give me a break. Someone thought that Shawn freaking Stasiak was the best use of Booker T here? I mean come on now man. There was zero reason at all for this to be a gimmick match in the slightest so they went with it anyway. Guess what is up next: a gimmick match. After that, another gimmick match. Before this, another gimmick match. This is a great example of Russo’s writing in a nutshell and one of the better ones you’ll ever see. Oh and the match sucked, easily the worst last man standing match I’ve ever seen.

After the Thriller broke up, Stasiak feuded with Bam Bam Bigelow in the dying days of the company, including this match from Greed.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Oh please make it quick. Stasiak says he’s great and is the Mecca of Manhood apparently. This is the Shawn and Stacy Show and we see why Stasiak never gets to talk. It’s a shame that this match had to happen. We had two very good matches to start us off and then we got to look at Stacy who looks hot like that. And that ends the good stuff here as Bigelow is just WAY past his usefulness at this point.

Is there a reason why this is on a PPV? I know it’s a dark time for the company (ok that’s an understatement) but seriously? Tony keeps calling this The Greed Pay Per View. It’s really weird sounding. We pause to see if Stasiak needs a replacement tooth due to a clothesline. And now he wants a time out. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the thigh or so and we hit the floor again.

Bigelow gives chase this time and we brawl for a bit. Can’t you tell how riveting this stuff is so far? Stasiak hits a top rope cross body but stops to pose. Top rope headbutt kills Stasiak but here’s Stacy to look hot. She throws Stasiak hairspray and a neckbreaker ends it.

Rating: D. Boring match here with nothing of note happening. Again, this is what they went with on PPV? At least Stacy looked good. That’s about all I’ve got as far as good stuff goes here. The match was just boring and never got going or was never good or anything like that. Terrible match but at least it was short.

Stasiak just didn’t fit in WCW at all and the matches showed that very well. He was older, didn’t have the best skills and was little more than there. Not much else to say about him.

Speaking of someone without much to say, here’s Mark Jindrak. He primarily wrestled in tag matches with O’Haire, but there are a few singles matches to pick from, such as this one from October 23, 2000. Ok so it’s a triple threat but you get the idea.

Mark Jindrak vs. Alex Wright vs. Kidman

Same idea as the triple threat from earlier. Jindrak gets double teamed to start until Wright accidentally clotheslines Kidman down. The German suplex gets two on Mark with Kidman making the save. Jindrak hits a nice torture rack neckbreaker on Kidman but walks into a missile dropkick from Wright. They head outside for a brawl with the partners involved as well, where Jindrak and O’Haire throw Rey from the floor, over the top rope and into the ring in a SCARY power display. The Kid Crusher (Killswitch) is enough for Kidman to get a fast pin on Wright. Nothing match.

Since we’ve done the preliminaries, here’s the triple threat tag from Halloween Havoc 2000 with Jindrak and O’Haire defending.

Tag Titles: Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Boogie Knights are Disco and Alex Wright and the Thrillers are Mark Jindrak and Sean and Mark O’Haire and have the belts here. There was some weird deal where the Knights won the belts but Mike Sanders decided the title change didn’t count and gave them the belts back. There are advertisements at every corner of the ring. WCW’s latest horrible video game (no wrestling in the ring, just in the back) is the sponsor. Nice to see how well the sponsorship deals are going isn’t it?

Wright, Kidman and Jindrak start us off. That’s what I always liked about WCW triple threats: they had triple threats instead of three team tag matches. Alex allegedly has the most experience. Not quite but in WCW he did I guess. Bronco Buster misses and here’s Disco. I forgot Konnan was there until he said something about Shane Douglas. It’s a big WZ Preunion here.

Everyone keeps working to beat up the Thrillers. In a nice move, Disco sets up Sean to allow Kidman to come off with the Shooting Star but instead he jumps at Disco with a back elbow in a thinking move. Wright gets a lot of praise here which is weird. You could tell he was one of those guys that they wanted to do something with but they never quite could do it.

We get a Tower of Doom spot as I’m getting into this triple threat tag match formula. Rey, Sean and Disco come in. Sean has a dime dropped on him and Disco takes a modified seated senton for two each. Sean’s knee may be hurt. The Thrillers use one of their signature awesome spots where they pick up Rey for what looks like a double hip toss and throw him from the floor over the top rope and into the ring. That was awesome looking.

They do the same to Kidman but Wright catches him in mid air in a belly to belly for two. This is getting awesome fast. Big plancha by Alex to take out Disco and Jindrak. Let the cruiserweights loose as the big dives begin. Kid Crusher on Wright (Unprettier/Killswitch) gets two. Top rope rana by Rey to Disco is followed by a Bronco Buster.

Last Dance (Stunner) by Disco gets two as Rey drops a dime on Disco to break it up but it allows O’Haire to hit the Seanton (yes I spelled that right) Bomb to end it. Imagine a guy Orton’s size doing a Swanton and imagine how awesome it would look. Wright beats up Rey afterwards and Konnan tries to save. He gets beaten down also but Sgt. AWOL (member of the MIA) comes in for the save. Konnan can’t stand up.

Rating: B. This was FUN. You had six relatively young guys out there just having fun in a fast paced tag match. It’s a great choice for an opener and I got very into it. This was WCW’s problem though: this is pretty much going to be the match of the night and the crowd is going to decline as we continue. Very fun opener though and I liked it a lot.

Jindrak really wasn’t all that special in the ring, which is odd given how athletic he was. As far as I know he still holds the record for highest vertical leap of anyone ever in WWE and he had a great look. He would become a much bigger deal wrestling in Mexico, making him another guy that got away from WWE.

Next up was one of my favorites of the Thrillers: Reno. He was a small but very muscular guy with a finisher called Roll the Dice, better known as Cross Rhodes. Reno didn’t do much in wrestling, but he did win the Hardcore Title and defended it at Halloween Havoc 2000.

Hardcore Title: Reno vs. Sergeant AWOL

I liked Reno but this should be bad anyway. Reno brings a kendo stick and pops Wall (his old name) with it so Wall kicks him in the face then goes through a table. Uh sure. We have NEW Hardcore rules here which are now falls count anywhere and anything goes. Back in the day the matches had to start in the back and end in the ring. WCW managed to make a video game out of that concept. Yeah they were dead at this point.

Just a basic weapons match at this point with no one really caring. See what I meant about the quality going down? Wall puts the trashcan over Reno’s head and kicks the can into the railing. That looked painful but after looking at it for about two seconds you can see he missed Reno completely. And now he does it again just because he can. Wall and Stevie do the Too Sweet hand gesture for zero explained reason.

They head up to the ramp as Stevie says this could end at the Brown Derby. For those unfamiliar, the Brown Derby is a restaurant in Los Angeles. Chokeslam is blocked and Reno hits the Roll of the Dice (Cross Rhodes) on the ramp. He gets a table and then a second one on top of that. According to the laws of wrestling of course Reno goes through them shortly thereafter.

The guys go off into some BIG empty area (you know because it’s not like FANS could go there as we need it for this one moment in a pointless match) before we head to the back. A computer monitor is thrown at Reno who counters with a fire extinguisher for two. Computer monitor to Reno’s head lets Madden say he knew the internet would destroy wrestling. That’s very funny all things considered. Actually it’s not as Mark Madden is not a laughing matter.

Wall drills Finlay who is an agent at this point and we head back into the arena. This is just going on WAY too long at this point and it’s not interesting at all anymore. Scratch that as it would imply that something about this match was interesting at all in the first place. Wall gets the fifth table of the match (the word overkill means nothing in WCW if you didn’t get that) but gets hit with a chair by Reno. Roll of the Dice (looked weak with no impact at all) onto the table ends this.

Rating: D-. This got ELEVEN MINUTES. Yeah this match is deserving of more time than the good opener. There was nothing at all here to set this apart from any other standard hardcore match. WCW had no idea what they were doing with this division and that’s very clear based on this mess.

Reno’s main story in WCW was with Big Vito over something about one of their sisters. Here’s their showdown match from Sin.

Reno vs. Big Vito

Revenge match here after Reno revealed that he was the guy that was paying Kronik to take out Vito so he could rejoin the Thrillers instead of just you know, taking out Vito and rejoining the Thrillers. They stare each other down and the fight is on. Reno takes over with a powerslam to start and Vito kind of looks weak. Oh and they’re brothers apparently.

They head to the floor for a bit before heading back in and slugging it out. The crowd is staying white hot and already has made more noise than at all of Starrcade combined. Superplex gets two for Vito. Enziguri to the shoulder can’t put Reno down but a belly to back does for no cover. Out to the floor with Reno in control. They are laying into each other here.

Back in now and Reno drops an elbow. Tony talks about the brothers being in high school for some reason as the crowd is popping for clotheslines. Think about that for a minute. Vito grabs a sunset flip for two. Big boot to the head/superkick by Vito puts Reno down and they’re both down. Vito hammers away and here’s the comeback.

Belly to belly sets up a top rope elbow for two. Bad elbow but he tried at least. Reno fights back but can’t Roll the Dice. Suplex gets two for Vito. Spinning DDT fails for Vito so he settles for a T-Bone. I’ll have a round steak if you have one. Out of nowhere Reno reverses a suplex and gets the Roll the Dice for the pin. Another fast paced and decent match, probably a record for WCW post 1999.

Rating: C+. This is a fine example of a match where working hard and having intensity can make up for average in ring work. They were HAMMERING each other out there and while the match was sloppy at times the fans were into it and even I got into it a bit. That’s a great sign and the match was good as a result. We’re half an hour in and I’m rather impressed so far.

Reno was a guy with a look but he really never fit in with the Thrillers due to being far smaller than they were (he was about 6’0 but the rest were 6’4 or so). He was only in wrestling a few years and never did anything of note after the Thrillers broke up. Shame too as I was always a fan of the guy.

Finally we have Johnny the Bull, who was already a name from a tag team called the Mamalukes. We’ll start there, as the Mamalukes (Johnny and Big Vito) face Disco Inferno and Lash Leroux at Starrcade 1999.

Disco Inferno/Lash Leroux vs. Mamalukes

 

Leroux is a pretty generic cruiserweight from Louisiana. The Mamalukes are two Italian guys named Johnny the Bull and Big Vito who are your basic mafia gimmick. Vito and Lash start after a quick brawl. The Cajun guy is pounded into the corner as Vito does every Mafia stereotype you can think of. Lash takes a side kick to the face and it’s off to Johnny for some double stomping. Leroux takes him down with a hiptoss and it’s to Disco. Inferno gets two on the Bull via a clothesline and two off a clothesline and Russian legsweep.

 

As Disco stomps away in the corner, we get the story behind this: apparently Disco owes the Italians’ manager Tony Marinara (just go with it) $25,000 and the makeshift team is together because they used to not like each other but now respect one another. Disco has also tarred and feathered Marinara before pouring meat sauce on Vito and the Bull. I’ve heard stupider angles. I can’t think of many but I’ve heard of them.

 

The Mamalukes take over and it’s off to Vito who hits a neckbreaker to give Johnny a two count. After a quick chinlock by the Bull and some double teaming including a wishbone split for Disco’s legs, a double powerbomb gets no cover on Inferno. Instead Vito misses a middle rope splash and it’s off to Lash.

 

Leroux speeds things up and takes Vito down with a spin kick before making the heels hit each other by mistake. Everything breaks down and the Italians hit a double clothesline to take over. Disco and Vito go to the floor as Johnny misses a guillotine legdrop, allowing Disco to hit a splash for two. Everyone is back in again and Disco tries his Chartbuster (Stunner) but Vito breaks it up, sending Disco into Lash for a Chartbuster to his partner for no apparent reason. That and a spinning inverted DDT to Disco are enough for the pin by Vito.

 

Rating: C-. Very basic tag match here but I’ve seen worse. Again though, the idea of this story being based around a guy named Tony Marinara does it no favors and makes for a rather stupid story all around. Disco continues to be impressive though as he was nothing but a comedy character who lasted for many years with the company. He also wasn’t half bad in the ring, but his career was hindered by the character.

Since Johnny wasn’t much of a singles guy, we’ll keep up the trend with another tag match from March 19, 2001 as the Mamalukes have reformed.

Mamalukes vs. Lance Storm/Mike Awesome

The Mamalukes interrupt the Canadian national anthem and look more Irish than Italian with their bright green tights. It’s a brawl to start with everyone on the floor and the Canadians taking over. Things settle down with Johnny dropkicking Lance down but Awesome quickly comes in to run over Vito. The fans chant USA for an Italian tag team as Vito fights back and cleans house. Awesome powers Vito up into the running Awesome Bomb for a fast pin. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

As you can tell, Johnny wasn’t the biggest part of the team and never quite fit in with the group either. He also never wrestled much for them, as you can tell since I could barely find anything from that era. He would go on to wrestle in WWE and TNA though, so there was definitely talent there.

We’ll wrap it up with the one time the Thrillers all wrestled together, at Fall Brawl 2000.

Filthy Animals/Big Vito/Paul Orndorff vs. Natural Born Thrillers

Filthy Animals: Konnan, Rey Mysterio, Disco Inferno, Juventud Guerrera, Tygress (female manager)

Natural Born Thrillers: Mark Jindrak, Sean O’Haire, Mike Sanders, Chuck Palumbo, Shawn Stasiak, Reno, Johnny the Bull

This is elimination style. Yes it’s that Paul Orndorff. He trained most of the Thrillers in the Power Plant (the same place that said one Dave Bautista had no future in wrestling) and he drew about 15 years ago so he’s PERFECT here. Orndorff is a mystery partner here. He SHOCKS the Thrillers. OH NO! IT’S ON OVER THE HILL OVERRATED GUY THAT HASN’T MEANT A THING SINCE WE WERE IN 5TH GRADE! Wait….this is WCW and he’s over fifty…..WE’RE SCREWED!!!

Stasiak goes on commentary for no apparent reason. Konnan makes gay jokes and introduced Orndorff. Wow this is so completely overhyped. No one cheers either. They just kind of breathe. Also, we get to see a 51 year old man that looks about twice that old in lime green tights. Rock on brother man.

This was billed as 6-6 but there are so many people that a lot have to drop to the floor, making it look like 4-4. Rey and Juvy are tag champions as I try to fill space. Ok apparently they aren’t….they just have the belts for the second straight PPV in a row. Rey tags in Juvy to absolutely NO reaction. I wasn’t looking at the screen and didn’t even notice it. Normally you get a sound from the crowd to let you know that something happened but there was NOTHING here.

O’Haire hits a Falcon’s Arrow to take down Juvy who of course is fine like 4 seconds later. Vito, the big guy on the team I guess, beats up Jindrak and is only there for Johnny. And here’s Disco to again complete silence. Oh never mind they think that he, a face, sucks. Jimdrak, a guy about 6’5, can’t get a dropkick past the ribs of Disco who is about 6’0. Ok Konnan is in the match despite sitting on the floor so far.

Konnan crashes into Disco so Disco accidently hits him with the Last Dance (Stunner) to eliminate him. Shawn says five to go, implying 6-6 to start. Disco can’t get anyone to tag him in so Vito punches him and Reno Rolls the Dice to end him and make it 6-4 I guess. Vito hits an Edgecution on Palumbo for two. Bull hits Vito in the head with a kendo stick and a Roll of the Dice (rolling cutter, Cross Roads) ends him.

That leaves it as Juvy, Rey and Orndorff left, so Madden suggests that Tygress is on the team too. So then Tony says it’s 6-2 as Orndorff is there for…..oh screw it let’s just get this over with. Guerrera hits a flying…..something to Reno. Tony calls it a body attack which sounds like something from Mortal Kombat. Juvy Driver and WHAT’S UP on Reno makes it however many vs. however many. Oh and over ten minutes in and I think there are 4 people that haven’t even been in yet.

Rey and Juy apparently ARE the tag champions here. Tony said they weren’t 8 minutes ago and now they are. My goodness I know WCW at this time is called insane but I’ve always thought it was overhyped. In this match alone, about ten minutes long at this point, we can’t establish how many original participants there were in this match, we’ve gotten three different answers as to how many people are left on one of the teams at this point, and we don’t even know if two guys are tag team champions? Ok according to Wikipedia they are the champions but are forced to forfeit them tomorrow for no given reason. Now why can I establish that and the paid announcers can’t?

The fans hate Tygress all of a sudden as Juvy’s plancha is just caught. And then HOLY GOODNESS O’Haire and Jindrak LAUNCH Juvy from the floor into the ring off a double hip toss. That looked incredible. A Swanton Bomb ends Juvy…..and here’s Orndorff. Of course he beats up all the young guys but a kendo stick takes care of him. He hits a bad piledriver to get rid of Johnny the Bull.

Rey and Tygress (now on the apron) just let Orndorff get double teamed and do all the work. Sanders hasn’t been in yet. He of course beats up Jindrak and O’Haire on his own, making them look completely weak in the process. He goes to piledrive Jindrak and of course gets hurt coming down, giving himself a stinger (same thing that happened to Austin in 97 off the Owen piledriver) and O’Haire quickly covers him for the pin because of the injury.

Rey and Tygress I guess don’t get that he’s really hurt and keep going on Jindrak. After a pair of Bronco Busters we get the idea so they beat up Sanders and Palumbo to keep the crowd into it I guess. Pay no attention to the fact that they’re landing around Paul’s legs or anything like that. And they stop the match because of the injury. They would conclude it the next night where Rey and Tygress would beat five guys on their own.

Rating: F. There should be two ratings here. The match itself was entertaining and was about a B/B-, but to let a guy in there that was 51 years old and had retired because of a neck injury and then, shocking no one with a brain, hurts his neck in his first match back in like 5 years is simply irresponsible. I don’t care if he swears up and down that he’ll be ok or whatever. You don’t let him into the ring with his neck hurt like that, and this is why.

He wasn’t even taking a bump and he got hurt. Imagine what would have happened if he had been taking am ove and got hurt like this. There is just no way you can validate letting Orndorff go out there. It didn’t sell any more shows because he wasn’t even announced, so this comes off as just irresponsible by WCW and there’s no way that is ok in my mind.

Overall the Thrillers were a nice idea, but like everything else in WCW the execution was horrible. There was definitely talent on the team but the lack of personalities crippled them, which is a constant problem in wrestling. Oddly enough none of them ever did anything of note, but it wasn’t from a lack of skills. Good idea, bad execution, meaning WCW in a nutsheel.

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