Thunder
Date: September 10, 1998
Location: Rupp Arena, Lexington, Kentucky
Attendance: 10,620
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Lee Marshall, Tony Schiavone

This is an interesting show for me as I was in the audience that night. I barely remember anything at all of the show but I know they taped two weeks worth of shows and there was an arm wrestling match at some point in here. If I remember correctly I was sitting opposite the cameras. I also vaguely remember Hogan making an appearance but I’m not sure. Let’s get to it.

The announcers promise that tonight is going to be an excellent show. I’m sure.

Here are Hogan, Bischoff and company to open things up. Bischoff says the most beautiful people in the world are right here in the ring with him. Hogan says his fans know he rules the wrestling world and know he’ll get the world title back very soon. All the plans are in place for WarGames with Roddy Piper and DDP concerned with each other and Warrior not having the guts to face Hollywood on his own. As for Bret Hart, Hogan has Stevie Ray watching his back (Jack) and he isn’t worried about the Wolfpack either.

Before the first match we cut to the back and see Jericho saying he’s the champion of all those with televisions. Since they’re a TV company, he’s the highest ranking champion in all of WCW. He has a cameraman following him around for tonight only.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Silver King

Silver King is challenging. They get in a shoving match to start until Silver King takes him into the corner. Juvy avoids a splash but is whipped into the corner, only to flip out of a belly to back suplex. Silver King throws him into the ropes and throws Juvy into the air for a dropkick to the ribs. He misses a Lionsault minus the running start and we get a chase on the floor, leading to Juvy picking up a chair, only to have Silver King dropkick it into his face. The bell rings once as Silver King hits an Eye of the Storm for two. The bell rings again and it’s finally announced as a DQ. Odd ending.

Juvy is laid out with a belt shot post match.

JJ Dillon makes Konnan vs. Scott Hall for Fall Brawl because Bischoff isn’t making Hall get into the ring enough.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Wrath

We go to the back with Jericho walking to the ring, flanked by Jericho Personal Security Guard and the Jericoholic Ninja. Jericho is all fired up but walks into a broom closet and a wall. This is so strange for me as I walked through those same halls when I was graduating high school and college. He walks outside as Wrath is getting angry in the ring. Jericho is locked out so Wrath goes up the entrance and kicks the door to outside open so he can chase Jericho through the parking lot. The match is a countout.

We go to a clip from WCW Saturday Night with Jim Duggan talking about how important his career has been over the last 20 years, but he was recently diagnosed with cancer. Duggan is scheduled for surgery later this week and says we should all hug our children closer because you never know when you might not see them anymore. He thanks us all for our support and tries not to cry.

Kanyon vs. Nick Dinsmore

Dinsmore is more famous as Eugene. Kanyon says that he’s too good to face a rookie like Dinsmore so Lodi can order Saturn to fight him in his place. Saturn comes out with a Lodi Rulz sign before swapping it out for a Lodi Is Not Here sign. Kanyon panics and eats a clothesline before Saturn takes his hand over to the buckle and breaks his thumb. Saturn goes for another finger, shouting that Kanyon has nine more to go. Raven comes out and sends the Flock after Saturn who easily dispatches them. Saturn says that on Sunday, he’s saving the Flock and his own career. More awesome.

Curt Hennig vs. Steve McMichael

Luger vs. Bulldog was scheduled for later but due to the attack it’s now a tag with Luger needing to find a partner against Bulldog and Neidhart. Mongo kicks away in the corner to start and follows up with a big running clothesline. A WE WANT FLAIR chant starts up as Mongo hits the buckle while trying a running knee. Hennig wraps the knee around the post before kicking at the leg back inside. Curt charges but walks into a belly to back suplex as Mongo makes a low speed comeback. Stevie Ray comes in and slips Hennig a slap jack which is good for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing of note here but thankfully these two wouldn’t fight each other anymore. I like that they’re following up on the NWO vs. Horsemen idea, though I was hoping they wouldn’t have waited as many months as they did in between. At least Mongo didn’t pop right back up after the knee work.

Post match Bagwell comes out with a chair to crush Mongo’s throat but Dean Malenko makes the save. The NWO is about to swarm him when Arn Anderson makes the save with a 2×4 to a big pop. I remember the fans going absolutely nuts for that and it was a great moment live.

After a break Mongo is being taken out on a stretcher and Arn is with Tony in the ring. Arn says Dean shouldn’t have asked for this because he’s about to get it. If it were up to Anderson, Dean Malenko would be a Horseman. This brings out Eric Bischoff who says the Horsemen are dead because of Anderson’s neck and the book he recently wrote.

Back when Bischoff took over the company, the Horsemen put 1,200 people in a 15,000 seat arena before Bischoff made WCW the #1 wrestling company in the world. Bischoff says to forget about Flair but Anderson grabs him by the throat before Eric can go on. Malenko pulls him off and Bischoff has an offer: If Anderson wants the Horsemen back, he’ll arm wrestle Bischoff next week. Another great segment in this story.

Lodi shows up at the announcers’ desk covered in moss and seaweed, complete with a fish in his hand. He says Saturn threw him in a river (there isn’t one near Lexington) but Tony cuts him off and says go ask Kanyon about his fingers.

Lex Luger vs. British Bulldog/Jim Neidhart

Luger goes it alone to start and cleans house before starting with Neidhart. A nice running elbow and slam put the Anvil down before it’s off to Bulldog for some right hands in the corner. There’s an atomic drop but Neidhart gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Cue Bret Hart in wrestling gear to make it 3-1 with Neidhart getting that evil grin on his face. Instead Bret goes after Bulldog and then Neidhart before getting on the apron for a tag. Luger isn’t sure what to do but he tags Luger in for a face pop to work over Anvil. Everything breaks down and the Torture Rack ends Neidhart.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match as a good chunk of it was spent with Bret looking at Neidhart and Bulldog. I don’t buy Bret turning face as this is WCW where face turns are measured in seconds, but I’m interested in where it’s going if nothing else. The fans were into the idea as well so it was a successto start at least.

We look at JJ ordering Hall vs. Konnan from earlier.

Konnan vs. Disco Inferno

After Konnan does his stuff, Disco takes the mic and says he and Wright are ready to join the Wolfpack tonight. Konnan tells them to go to a prison and toss salads so Disco jumps him to get things going. The dancers double team Konnan for a few moments before he fights back, hits his signature stuff on Disco and wins with the Tequila Sunrise in about a minute.

The Armstrong Brothers were being interviewed for WCW International Television (no show mentioned, just International Television) when Ernest Miller interrupts. He kicks both guys in the face but Norman Smiley interrupts. This was filmed at the same doors Jericho got locked out of earlier.

Here’s Roddy Piper with something to say. Piper talks about being a wildcat from birth and isn’t sure about WarGames. He isn’t crazy about being in the ring with the Wolfpack but loves the idea of being in there with Hogan. This brings him to Team WCW with its captain Diamond Dallas Page. Piper isn’t one to listen to a captain but he turns around when Page yells at him from the crowd. Page says he earned the captain’s spot and Piper volunteered to be on the team. Warrior is here to mess with Hogan’s head, but Page has no problem making Warrior or Piper feel the BANG inside the cage.

WCW World Title: Rick Fuller vs. Goldberg

Goldberg slugs him down to start but Fuller comes back with a few kicks. Not that they matter as the spear crushes Fuller but here are Disciple and Hogan for the DQ. Goldberg fights them both off and spears Disciple before Jackhammering Fuller…for the pin? Wait the referee didn’t see that? Disciple shoved Goldberg into the referee WHILE THE REFEREE WAS WITH FULLER. But we’re supposed to buy that he didn’t see that? That’s a stretch even for WCW.

Kevin Nash vs. Stevie Ray

After some catchphrases, Nash shoves Ray into the corner but gets his eyes raked to give Ray a breather. Some big right hands don’t get Stevie anywhere as Nash clotheslines him and does the usual stuff in the corner, only to run into an elbow in the corner. A superkick puts Nash down and we get to the slow, power offense from Stevie. Nash fights out of a chinlock and kicks Stevie in the face to set up the Jackknife, drawing in Vincent for the DQ.

Rating: D. Another match there to advance stories and set up Sunday which is fine. Stevie isn’t bad in the ring but he’s nothing the NWO didn’t have a ton of already. Nash was his usual lumbering self here but the fans were into him for the most part. Also it’s good that they kept this short instead of letting this drag down into oblivion.

Post match Nash stays on Stevie until Scott Hall returns to knock out Nash with the slap jack. The Black and White comes out to praise Hall as Nash keeps trying to get back up. Remember earlier when Mongo took the same shot and was taken out on a stretcher? Neither do I. Anyway, the NWO goes to the back and sees Warrior spraypaint on the wall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was good for a Thunder with some decent angle advancement and promos, even though the wrestling didn’t do much for me. The Horsemen, Flock and Jericho stuff continues to own the show and I dread what’s coming after Fall Brawl, but this is still an entertaining promotion at this point.

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Smackdown
Date: January 31, 2014
Location: Huntington Center, Toldeo, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re past the Rumble now and two third of the Elimination Chamber are already filled in. There’s a chance we might actually get something to happen tonight with the final two spots being taken. On top of that there’s the interesting case of CM Punk who has walked out on the company which may or may not be a work. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Raw with Bryan/Cena/Sheamus defeating the Shield thanks to the interfering Wyatt Family, earning themselves spots in the Elimination Chamber along with defending champion Randy Orton.

Here’s Shield with something to say. Ambrose talks about how glad Randy Orton is that the Wyatts interfered on Monday because the title would be coming back home with the Shield at Elimination Chamber. Ambrose and Reigns get in a mini argument about who would have won in the Chamber but Reigns is cool with Ambrose trying to throw him out of the Rumble because it was every man for himself. Rollins breaks them up because they have someone more important to deal with right now: the Wyatts.

He talks about how great each member of the Shield is and how they had the match won on Monday until the Wyatts got involved. If the Wyatts want a new world, come get one at the hands of the Shield, and yes that is a challenge. Instead they get Vickie Guerrero who promises to make history, only to have HHH cut her off. HHH tells them to drop it about the Wyatts but Roman gets in his face and says this isn’t a request. The Wyatts vs. the Shield is made for Elimination Chamber.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Antonio Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler

See, this is an actually fresh match where either guy could win. Cesaro hits a running dropkick for two at the bell before a standing sunset flip gets the same. They trade rollups for two each before Ziggler hits the Fameasser to send Cesaro outside. Back in and Cesaro hits a quick backbreaker to take over and a big clothesline puts Ziggy outside as we take a break. We come back with Ziggler in a chinlock and a clip from the break of Cesaro on the middle rope and suplexing Ziggler back in from the apron.

Dolph fights up and hits a nice dropkick for two before putting on the sleeper. Cesaro fights out and loads up Swiss Death but Ziggler turns it into a DDT for a very close two. Antonio is up first and blocks the Zig Zag before putting on the Swing to a big face pop. Ziggler is already done and it’s the Neutralizer for the win at 8:34.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting and Cesaro getting the win makes things even better. He has no chance of winning inside the Chamber but it’s nice to see him getting even a spot in a match like this. There’s always one guy in there that can showcase himself and hopefully it’s Antonio this year.

Fandango vs. Xavier Woods

R-Truth is on commentary and Woods now has no mustache. A quick slam puts Xavier down but he comes back with a quick dropkick, only to be caught in a wheelbarrow suplex for one. We hit the chinlock on Woods but he fights up and counters another wheelbarrow suplex by rolling forward and slamming Fandango face first into the mat. Woods comes back with some strikes and a nice dropkick to send Fandango outside. A nice flip dive takes Fandango down again as Emma is dancing in the crowd again. Back in and Fandango hooks a quick falcon’s arrow for the pin on Woods at 3:20.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but man alive I’m over these dancer vs. dancer matches. Woods is another guy who is just taking up space on the roster while there are more talented guys down in NXT. He’s not the worst in the world but I really don’t see the appeal of his in ring work.

Truth makes the save from a post match beatdown and dancing ensues.

Prime Time Players vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Curtis punches Darren to start and drives him into the corner. Off to Ryback who throws Young out to the floor with ease. Back in and the Meat Hook sets up Axel’s neckbreaker into a faceplant for the pin at 1:30. My goodness that was quick.

Young is bleeding from the mouth and Titus isn’t pleased. He’s about to walk away but Darren says they’re family. Titus says they’re not a family because this partnership is the first time that Titus has ever been a loser. The only thing Titus is doing is dropping the dead weight of Darren Young off his back. Titus kicks him in the chest and stomps him to the floor, giving us a good old fashioned heel turn. Young is either in line for a big gimmick change or he’s not making it to the summer.

Jake Roberts Hall of Fame video.

Alexander Rusev and his handler Lana are coming.

Elimination Chamber Qualifying Match: Christian vs. Jack Swagger

This is Christian’s first match back after a lengthy absence due to injury. Swagger gets the jobber entrance. We get a clip of Colter slapping Swagger to fire him up on Monday. JBL gets Zeb to join in on commentary, showing how important Swagger’s match is to him. Jack throws Christian up and over the corner to the floor to start before putting on a body vice. A Vader Bomb gets two and Swagger stays on the ribs.

Christian fights out of a superplex attempt and gets two off a tornado DDT. A middle rope dropkick gets the same but Swagger comes right back with the gutwrench powerbomb for two. Jack walks around for a bit to the anger of Colter, allowing Colter to get his feet up to block another Vader Bomb. He comes right back with the Patriot Lock but Christian sends him shoulder first into the post, setting up the Frog Splash for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: C-. Nice while it lasted but this was more about angering Colter and getting Christian into the Chamber than the match itself. I’m hoping this breaks up the Real Americans as Swagger has dragged the team down since the day they got together. He’s just been branded as a loser in WWE and that’s almost impossible to escape.

Christian is happy he won because his window of opportunity is starting to close.

Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston

An inset interview with Sandow says this losing period is just his trial by fire. Damien grabs a quick rollup for two but Kofi takes him into the corner to slow him down. A standing sunset flip gets two more for Sandow as Kofi rolls through and kicks Sandow in the chest. Trouble in Paradise hits the ropes but a sloppy SOS is good for the pin on Sandow at 1:57. Not a good match.

We look at Heyman demanding Brock get a match with either Batista or Orton but getting neither. As a result, Lesnar broke up the New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust on Raw.

In his weekly sitdown interview, HHH announces Cody/Goldust vs. the Outlaws for the titles on Raw in a cage.

Road Dogg vs. Cody Rhodes

Rhodes has a bad arm coming in due to Lesnar’s attack on Raw. A quick clothesline takes Roadie down as we hear about Brock being fined $10,000 for attacking a referee on Sunday. Road Dogg goes after the arm by wrapping it around the ropes and ramming it into the buckle. Cody fights out of an armbar and both guys ram heads to put each other down. Rhodes takes over with a kick to the ribs and a springboard missile dropkick as Billy and Goldust get in a fight on the floor. There’s a Disaster Kick to Gunn and a second one to Dogg for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me but it did what it was supposed to do for Monday. I don’t think the Outlaws lose the belts on Raw which hopefully leads to a long overdue Usos title reign. Road Dogg continues to look decent in the ring, especially after being out of action for so long.

Shield is out for the main event when the Wyatts appear on screen. Bray is looking forward to the war, especially the Shield waving those white flags. For once Harper actually speaks about the beautiful hill Shield has chosen to die on. Bray says don’t invite the devil into your back yard because he might like it and choose to stay.

Shield vs. Sheamus/Rey Mysterio/Daniel Bryan

Sheamus takes Rollins over with a headlock to start before a shoulder block sends Seth into the Shield corner. We get the tag to Reigns and it’s time for a big power showdown. The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for but it’s Reigns running Sheamus over with a shoulder of his own. Roman stomps on Sheamus in the corner but the pale one comes back with a hard clothesline and a neckbreaker.

Off to Ambrose for some right hands but Sheamus drapes him across the top rope, setting up the forearms to the chest. The spot is definitely still over and Ambrose falls to the floor as we take a break. Back with Bryan putting Seth in the surfboard with the dragon sleeper before it’s off to Rey for a running kick to the chest and a two count. A middle rope hurricanrana looks to set up the 619 but Reigns tags himself in and throws Rey outside.

Back to Rollins for a lot of trash talk and a chinlock as JBL asks Cole what he means when he calls Rollins the Architect of the Shield. Apparently Cole means tactician, which of course is why he calls Rollins the Architect. Rey sends Seth into the middle buckle and it’s hot tag to Bryan as things speed up. He backflips over Reigns in the corner and hits the running clothesline to set up the YES Kicks.

Roman is low bridged to the floor to set up the FLYING GOAT. Sheamus catches Rollins in the Irish Curse but gets dropped with a Superman Punch. The missile dropkick from Bryan sets up the YES Lock to Reigns but it’s Ambrose with the save. Sheamus’ bad shoulder goes into the post but you don’t need a good shoulder to Brogue Kick Ambrose in the face. There’s the 619 to Rollins and Rey sets up one on Reigns, only to have Roman pop up and spear Rey in half for the pin at 12:50.

Rating: C+. Typically good Shield match here with Sheamus looking like he hasn’t lost a step. The fans seem to like him as well so at least there isn’t that awkward phase where he gets back to what he was doing. He’s still in need of a story and an actual challenge though. Bryan got a solid reaction as always but didn’t really do much here.

Overall Rating: B-. This show addressed the main problem that Smackdown has been having for several months now: something actually happened here. While it wasn’t anything major, we had a tag team split up which we haven’t seen in a long time. That’s a good thing as the division is growing and the Prime Time Players were little more than jobbers in the division anyway. On top of that we had a PPV match made and the Chamber was filled in. It’s nice to have this show feel like it means something for a change.

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler – Neutralizer

Fandango b. Xavier Woods – Falcon’s arrow

Ryback/Curtis Axel b. Prime Time Players – Neckbreaker into a faceplant to Young

Christian b. Jack Swagger – Frog Splash

Kofi Kingston b. Damien Sandow – SOS

Cody Rhodes b. Road Dogg – Disaster Kick

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Daniel Bryan/Sheamus – Spear to Mysterio

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Yes this is real.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2240046/?ref_=nv_sr_1

As taken from the sage of wrestling: Steve Austin.On one of his podcasts, Austin talks about finding a spot backstage where he could watch every match on a show to see what the people had been doing that night so he wouldn’t be doing the same spots.  For instance, if five people had worked on an arm that night, Austin would go after a lower back or a neck.  It’s such a basic idea but it could keep the fans slightly more entertained and have them more interested in your match.  Now you have people playing video games during the show and the matches get a lot more generic.  As always, Austin knows his stuff.

Today we’ve got a tag team for wrestler of the day. Actually scratch that. We have THE tag team for wrestler of the day: the Road Warriors.

And no, not Heidenreich. It’s just Animal and Hawk.

The team got its start as part of a large stable called the Legion of Doom but soon became a stand alone tag team with the same name. Their first stomping grounds were in Georgia Championship Wrestling which is where they were based when this first match took place, though this is during a visit to Mid-South. Based on the commentary, this comes from some point between July 24, 1983 and October 12, 1983.

Legion of Doom vs. Rick Rood/Art Crews

I think you know the first jobber, but the second is a territory guy who was the winner of Shawn Michaels’ first ever match. The Warriors charge the jobbers to start but Rick actually cranks away on the arm to take over early on. The jobbers take over on the arms until Hawk just DESTROYS Crews with hard forearms to the back. Animal comes in for a double clothesline that sends Art to the floor before a powerslam is enough to pin Crews. Not as squashy as I expected but the idea was clear.

The Road Warriors went north to the AWA and quickly won the Tag Titles there. Their squashes were awesome enough that they became faces through pure crowd reaction and they didn’t look back for years. Here’s one of their title defenses from SuperClash on April 20, 1985.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

Not that it matters though as Verne Gagne comes out and says hold on a minute. He reverses the decision and the Warriors get the titles back.

Soon after this it was off to the big time with the NWA where they entered and made it to the finals of the first ever Jim Crockett Senior Memorial Tag Team Tournament. Here’s that final match against Magnum T.A./Ronnie Garvin.

Crockett Cup Finals: Road Warriors vs. Magnum TA/Ronnie Garvin

All faces here. The winners also get a million dollars. Animal and Magnum get things going. We get some surprisingly quick stuff until Magnum takes over with a dropkick. Animal takes him down with a top wristlock and they trade arm work on the mat. Off to Hawk who puts on a chinlock….and they clip this match too. ARE YOU SERIOUS???? The whole show is about one freaking tournament and you give us a total of ONE MATCH THAT ISN’T CLIPPED??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

A middle rope splash misses and Garvin gets a small package for two. Off to Magnum who doesn’t have as much luck with Animal who stomps away on the US Champion. Off to Animal again and it’s chinlock time. Powerslam gets two as Magnum is in trouble. Magnum grabs the belly to belly for two as Hawk saves. Hot tag to Garvin and down he goes almost immediately.

Garvin tries an abdominal stretch on Hawk but punches Hawk instead. The problem with this is he punches Hawk so hard that he breaks his hand. I’m not sure if this is kayfabe or real but it doesn’t really matter either way as Animal hits a pretty weak clothesline on Garvin and gets a quick pin for the tournament win and the million bucks.

Rating: D+. Apparently Garvin’s hand was broken coming in. Imagine that: Ronnie Garvin does something stupid like HIT A GUY IN THE HEAD WHILE HE HAS A BROKEN HAND. Garvin’s team deserves to lose after that. This match was pretty boring and the ending didn’t help things at all. Nothing to see here other than the end of a long and boring show.

There’s another match that has to be mentioned just due to how famous it is around the time. It’s from Starrcade 1986 and it’s a scaffold match.

Midnight Express vs. Road Warriors

This is the scaffold match, meaning there’s a scaffold about fifteen feet above the ring and you have to knock your opponents off to win. The Express is Bobby Eaton and Dennis Condrey and they have Cornette and Bubba with them. On the other hand we have Hawk and Animal, the Road Warriors. These two were BEASTS who were basically indestructable and insanely popular.

Condrey thinks about going up to face the Warriors but climbs back down because he’s not that crazy. Cornette, who is legitimately terrified of heights, goes on a rant about how this isn’t civilized. Dennis and Bobby finally get up top and the punishment begins. The scaffold is maybe three feet wide and there are no railings on it at all so they can barely move up there. There are some railings at either end so at least there’s some safety up there.

The Express throws powder in the Warriors’ eyes to blind them which is pretty terrifying this high up. Hawk’s legs go over the edge but he crawls back up. Animal is laying down with one leg dangling over and Bobby winds up hanging from said leg. He manages to swing back over to the structure and climb back up as this continues. Condrey is cut open and tries to climb down the ladder but he gets rammed into the scaffold for his efforts by Hawk.

Condrey and Hawk get under the scaffold and kick at each other with Condrey trying to monkey bar away. Animal and Bobby join them and a few moments later the Express get kicked down, giving the Road Warriors the win. As someone who is scared of heights, my stomach can now calm down.

Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s hard to criticize them for moving around so slowly given the fear of potential death involved. There’s only so much you can do that high in the air with no safety rails and they did as much as they could have. The Road Warriors would move on to feuding with the Horsemen soon after this.

Post match we get the famous part of the match as Cornette goes up top and runs into Animal. Cornette tries to climb down and winds up hanging from the bottom of the scaffold. He drops down…and Bubba isn’t there to catch him. Jim lands on his legs and basically destroys both of them, causing him problems for the rest of his life. Cornette tries to shout to Bubba to carry him to the back because his legs don’t work but his legs are so destroyed that he can’t get his point across. Animal later said in interviews that it was the funniest thing he’s ever seen.

Soon after this the Road Warriors moved onto the highest profile feud of their careers: teaming with Magnum TA and Dusty Rhodes to fight the Horsemen. One of the biggest matches of that feud would be for the World Tag Team Titles against Arn Adnerson and Tully Blanchard in the Warriors’ hometown of Chicago at Starrcade 1987.

Tag Titles: Arn Anderson/Tully Blanchard vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are challenging in their hometown of Chicago. Arn and Hawk start things off with Hawk taking him down via a top wristlock. Anderson is sent to the floor for a staredown with the Warriors’ manager Paul Ellering. Off to Tully who is almost immediately sent to the floor. Animal will have none of this stalling though and sends him right back inside. Hawk pounds away even more and hits a dropkick for a quick near fall.

Off to Animal who catches Blanchard coming in off the top in a powerslam for another two count. Arn comes back in and manages to avoid a charge in the corner, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline from Animal. Blanchard tries to come in but gets punched right in the jaw as well. Both Horsemen try to go after Hawk, only to get clotheslined down for a near fall on Blanchard. Total dominance by the Warriors so far.

Back to Animal for a bearhug plus a right hand from Hawk. Animal drops Tully down and Blanchard goes bailing to the corner. A dropkick to the ribs puts Blanchard down again so he tags in Anderson. Animal has to chase Arn on the floor before coming back inside to gorilla press him down. A press slam on Tully by Hawk is broken up by Arn hitting Hawk in the knee and the Horsemen FINALLY take over.

Tully adds in a chair shot to Hawk’s knee on the floor and a DDT gets two for Arn back in the ring. Blanchard’s figure four is countered into a small package so Tully pounds on the knee a bit more instead. Arn’s spinning toehold is broken up but here’s Tully again for the figure four. For some reason he tags in Anderson with Hawk still in the hold, and it’s Anderson who gets crotched to allow the hot tag to Animal. Everything breaks down and Tully accidentally knocks the referee to the floor before Hawk throws Anderson the floor. Back in and there’s the Doomsday Device on Arn for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but once the Road Warriors got rolling it got awesome in a hurry. They’re such a physical and dominant team that it’s almost impossible to not get fired up watching them. The leg work here by the Horsemen was much more interesting than say the arm work by Taylor, as they have the size and ability to make you believe the Warriors were in trouble.

Oh and scratch that title change because Anderson was thrown over the top, meaning the Warriors are disqualified and the Horsemen keep the belts. Say it with me: Dusty Finish. The fans boo this out of the building and with good reason. Who does this help? The Warriors look inept because they didn’t get the win, the Horsemen look like weak champions because they got pinned, and the fans are mad because at STARRCADE we can’t change the belts. Just a dumb idea all around.

With nothing else to do and still no NWA World Tag Team Titles, the Warriors turned heel and received a title match against the Midnight Express on October 29, 1988.

Tag Titles: Midnight Express vs. Road Warriors

It’s Bobby Eaton/Stan Lane here. The Warriors jump them to start and ram both champions face first into the post. We finally start with Lane firing off all his karate offense to slow down Animal as Hawk just beats the fire out of Eaton on the floor. Lane does everything he can in the ring and we finally get down to Animal starting for the challengers.

Cornette cheats for the champions to give Lane a breather but the Road Warriors easily pound him down to take over. A Hart Attack puts Stan down and Hawk adds a powerslam as Eaton can’t even get to his feet. Animal drops a series of elbows as Eaton falls off the apron in agony. A big shoulder block sends Lane flying to the corner and Bobby tags himself in and unloads on Animal in the corner. Animal totally no sells it and clotheslines Eaton’s head off for the pin and the titles in less than five minutes.

Rating: C-. If there’s a bigger squash than this it must be growing in a field somewhere. This was pure dominance with the Midnights having one quick flurry and nothing more in the entire match. This was about giving the Warriors the titles they had never been able to get before in as easy of a fashion as possible. Total destruction of the Midnights here.

Again the heel turn didn’t last long as the Warriors were so dominant that the fans loved their violence. Most of 1989 was spent beating up the Samoan Swat Team and the Skyscrapers so it was off to the WWF in 1990. Their first feud was against Demolition but the closest thing we ever got to a big showdown was in the opening match of the 1990 Survivor Series.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom

Mr. Perfect, Demolition

I guess this team isn’t as Ultimate as last year. This is the three man version of Demolition. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the IC Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the world champion, is there because he has nothing else to do. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win. Actually the name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name).

I’ll never get why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. They fought on house shows but that’s about it. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first and they fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw http://purchasepropecia.net from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but Bird Man’s shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies Hawk, Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and after Tornado’s face goes into it, the Perfectplex makes it one on one.

Perfect tries the Plex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

The next step for the Warriors was obvious: the Tag Titles with their shot coming against the Nasty Boys at Summerslam 1991.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.

The reign wouldn’t last long as they would drop the titles in an untaped match at a house show in February of 1992. It was clear that Hawk was about to go nuts due to personal issues and Vince wanted to get the belts off of them as fast as they could. After about six months away they would return in the fall, only to be gone again immediately after Summerslam when Hawk walked out.

After a few years in Japan it was back to WCW, where they participated in a Chicago Street Fight at Uncensored 1996 in Tupelo, Mississippi for the Tag Team Titles against one half of the champions Sting and his partner Booker T. Somehow this was the second most confusing match of the show.

Chicago Street Fight; Road Warriors vs. Booker T/Sting

Now say it with me: a Chicago street fight is happening in MISSISSIPPI. The idea here is that if Booker and Sting win here, Harlem Heat gets a title shot. I think the belts are on the line here but it’s never made clear, at least not so far. This is Booker’s dry run for a singles push, which obviously went well as he won his first TV Title a year and a half later. Yeah the NWO REALLY threw a lot of stuff off.

Naturally it’s a brawl to start and they’re already on the floor. We go split screen here which is a good idea. Granted then they have just two separate shots of the same thing and I continue to wonder how they stayed in business as long as they did. Tony must be drunk because he makes a good point, saying that these kinds of matches should have two referees. Aside from pointing out the stupidity of the higher ups with them allowing such an idiotic move, that’s very accurate.

Sting and Animal trade low blows on the post because that’s very normal. We switch back to the split screen, now complete with a graphic reminding us that this is the Chicago Street Fight. In yet another great moment from Bobby, he says that instead of covering someone that’s down, you go through his pockets and look for cash, jewelry, watches, etc. I love Heenan.

The wrestlers can apparently get away with murder, but they can get disqualified. I love wrestling. It’s Booker and Animal in the ring and Sting and Hawk, who is also an animal but whatever, with Sting in the aisle. Hawk can throw a freaking dropkick when he has to. That was impressive. Sting gets a chair and hits some absolutely laughably bad shots with it. However, they’re divine ones compared to the ones that Animal hits the faces with.

How weird is it that the Road Warriors are the heels in a match? Those shots were just awful though. I think I’ve seen Rey throw harder ones. Hawk no sells a piledriver. Really? How do you not sell a freaking piledriver? You’re dropped on your head for goodness’ sake. The stupid stuff continues as we have a chinlock in a street fight. Oh yeah work that chin! Heenan says that Animal or Hawk need to get with their partner and say something to them.

The thing he says takes him 11 seconds to say. It’s not really funny, but there’s something that’s just great about that. They hit the stands for about a second and we have the second instance tonight of the chairs being in big rows for no apparent reason. Why do they insist on using two camera for the same shot? I love wrestling at times, but this makes my head hurt.

Apparently this is non title, so therefore Sting can’t lose his title and can only get hurt, the Road Warriors have nothing to gain, and Booker can get a title shot. Why are the three not named Booker here? Sting and Hawk are in the ring and Booker and Animal are near the cage. They set for the Doomsday Device but Booker makes the save by crocthing Animal (who usually doesn’t go up top).

This prompts Dusty to say E.T. phone home. I gave up on trying to figure this out a long time ago. Sting hits the fifth low blow in 15 minutes. I wish they would make a reference to Sting and Dusty teaming up to fight the Road Warriors at Starrcade 87. Just as I say that, Bobby asks Dusty what he would do if he were Sting’s partner in this case. I wish he would have said that he was and left it at that but no go.

The spinaroonie is known as the whirly bird here. I’d love to see Sting against RVD in a jumping contest. It would be a very interesting challenge. Apparently the fans are standing everywhere. They must be about an average of 4ft tall because they look like they’re sitting to me, but then again I’m no professional announcer. Booker hits low blow #6.

Tony, continuing his brilliant career as an announcer, points out that they haven’t done anything incredibly extreme and this has really just been as basic as possible. Thanks for pointing out that this isn’t as great as it was built up to be and giving us no reason to believe the hype on future PPVs. I think I’ve finally started figuring out the problem that I have with this commentary team: I don’t know what they’re saying and it just passes through my head as being fine.

Bobby and Dusty are talking about glomming someone. What the heck does that mean? I guess it means double teaming, but it could mean sharing a turkey sandwich and a white wine for all I know. I will give them this: they’ve managed to keep going with the singles and team fighting. That’s hard to do but they’re pulling it off here.

Off a top rope powerslam, Bobby says Sting landed on his shoulder like Apollo 13. THAT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! What in the world is that supposed to mean? It’s like just random gibberish that sounds good. What the heck does Apollo freaking 13 have to do with this match and how in the world does it relate to a guy landing on his shoulder? Animal follows it up with even more weak chair shots. Uh oh, a weak clothesline hits the post.

The weapons shots here just flat out suck. Hawk just somehow managed to hit Sting with the side of the chair facing Hawk when he swung it. That’s hard to do. Sting then leaves his partner alone to go get some plunder (which I figured out means weapons). He comes back with….brooms. Yep, he’s got brooms. Even Tony sounds annoyed with this match as we’re well past 20 minutes here which is mainly just stupid stuff where they look tired.

Now instead of hitting Hawk with the wooden handle of the broom, he hits him with the straw. Yep, that’s what he did. Animal apparently noggered Booker. There’s a new language being formed here. Bobby makes a vacuum reference for no apparent reason. They trash Luger some more as it occurs to me that Dusty has fought him at Starrcade as well. Hey WCW: GET NEW TALENT!

Booker apparently walks out with Animal following him so we hit the split screen again. Animal and Booker fight in the back even more with Luger there. Animal accidentally hits Luger and knocks him into some trash, which ticks him off of course. With a Viking like yell he runs at Animal and takes him out. Stevie Ray, Booker’s partner, shows up and along with Jimmy Hart they beat the tar out of Animal and tie him to a post.

In the ring, Hawk is beating the crap out of Sting which is odd to see indeed. Sting goes into his insane offense that works better than anything else. Booker is back now as it’s all faces here. Stevie runs out to hit another crap chair shot to end this. Right after the pin we cut to Animal who is screaming about nothing in particular other than having his face kicked in, being taped to a pole and being handcuffed. I love wrestling!

Rating: D+. This is just hard to grade. The main problem is simple: this went thirty minutes. You could cut at least 15 of that out and this is a B- or so. There’s just way too many dead spots though where it’s just random punches and kicking that get very boring. The street fight aspect of this was awful with only a few chair shots and the broom being in there to do anything at all. Also, it’s not even for the titles. Put Booker in there as a substitute partner. That would have at least given us something close to a reason to care. The brawling was ok, but that’s overshadowed by the pure dullness of about 15 minutes of this.

The Road Warriors would make it back to the WWF for one last run in 1997, staying for about a year and winning the Tag Titles one more time. The magic was gone though and they were more or less living off nostalgia so I’ll skip over this period. There would however be one final appearance for the team on the big stage as a total surprise. From the May 12, 2003 episode of Monday Night Raw.

Raw Tag Titles: Kane/Rob Van Dam vs. Legion of Doom

Animal and RVD get things going with Animal stomping away in the corner, only to be kicked in the face to put him down. Off to Hawk who gets kicked as well before hitting his neckbreaker, only to get kicked in the face again. Kane gets the tag and speeds things up with clotheslines to both Doomers. The top rope clothesline drops Hawk but they break up a double chokeslam, only to have RVD kick Animal down and hit Rolling Thunder for two. Animal comes back with a powerbomb to Van Dam but he ducks the clothesline on the Doomsday Device. The chokeslam and Five Star are enough to pin Hawk and retain the titles.

Rating: D+. The match was little more than a squash for the champions but it was nice to see Hawk out there one last time as his old self instead of the shell of a shell that he would become. It’s still not a good match or anything but it wasn’t supposed to be anything close to one.

Hawk would pass away about six months after this but from every report I’ve seen, he was a changed man when it happened.

The idea I was trying to present here was dominance. In their prime, the Road Warriors simply were not going to lose a fair fight. The NWA and AWA Tag Title reigns came to an end due to cheating and the first WWF reign was never allowed to see the light of day. They’re a great example of what can happen when a team is protected. They weren’t a great in ring team but they didn’t need to do anything other than run people over and destroy them with power moves. It worked for the better part of 20 years in every promotion they worked in so there must have been something to it.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: January 30, 2014
Location: Hydro Arena, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Jeremy Borash

Now stop me if you’ve heard this before, but tonight we find out who the new power is in TNA to oppose the current power. The big question is who will it be, with names such as MVP, Sting, AJ Styles and Billy Corgan being thrown out as possible storyline investors in TNA. Either way they seem to have the American Wolves as backup so they can’t be all bad. Let’s get to it.

The opening video recaps the investor storyline which has been going on for a full two weeks now. We also look at Sting’s contract being ripped up. Again note that it’s a contract and not a career.

They’re in an arena tonight too which looks FAR better than the Impact Zone.

We immediately go to the back with Magnus, Spud and Ethan Carter being separated from Kurt Angle and Samoa Joe. This is Scotland so the British champion is loathed. Magnus speaks extra slowly but says that’s not going to be enough for the Scots. The heat on Magnus is excellent here. People are upset that Sting has fallen to the Reign of Magnus, just like Jeff Hardy and AJ Styles. He ended Sting just as he promised he would and it was just business. Magnus refers to what happened to Sting as the thinning of the herd because Dixie agrees that they should rid TNA of the dinosaurs.

TNA needs to clear the way for the Bro Mans, Zema Ion, Rockstar Spud and Magnus of this business. Ethan doesn’t look pleased that his name was omitted nor that Magnus says he got rid of AJ, Hardy and Sting by himself. Before they can argue though, here are Angle and Joe to clear the ring. Kurt says he’s here to avenge the screwing of the herd. Angle talks about Magnus being a paper champion but Magnus says it’s killing Angle that he became a bigger star than the Mafia.

Joe says the only thing killing him is that Magnus is still breathing. Magnus pitches a tag match but an Ethan chant starts up. The match is on as long as Angle and Joe’s futures in TNA are on the line. Joe wants one more stipulation: if either of them pin Magnus, they’re the new #1 contender. The paper champion card is played again and Magnus says yes but Dixie comes out to say no way. She says there’s too much going on to have to worry about that as well but Magnus says the match is on anyway.

A car pulls up out back.

After a break the Wolves get out of the car but block a camera from getting in. Anyone that wants to talk to the investor has to go through them.

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa

We get a Beautiful People reunion, complete with the near kiss entrance. Gail and Tapa jump them before the bell and it’s Gail pounding on Madison to start. Velvet avoids the running cross body in the corner and makes the tag off to Velvet who cleans house. Things quickly break down and Madison takes down Tapa, allowing Velvet to hit In Yo Face on Gail for the pin at 1:50.

Post match Chris Sabin comes out to yell at Velvet, saying she’s been ignoring him all week. Maybe her hormones are messed up because it’s that time or something, but she has one more chance to apologize and things will be ok. Velvet breaks up with him to a big pop.

Joe and Angle break into Bobby Roode’s locker room for a fight as we go to another break.

Back from a break with Joe pulling Angle off Roode. Angle says Roode cost AJ and Sting their jobs and he’ll do it again tonight. Roode says he would so Joe chokes Roode to a couch and threatens to kill him if he interferes. Angle and Joe leave as Roode smiles.

Here’s James Storm with something to say. He talks about Gunner making a good partner but then something made them fall apart. Storm asks Gunner to come out here so they can put an end to this right now. Gunner says they were friends but once he got the briefcase they blew up. He had to do these things for his son and family and Storm would have done the same thing for his family.

Storm isn’t sure with that but Gunner goes into a story about being in the Marine Corps and fighting for the men that were beside him. We get a USA chant in Scotland as Storm talks about Gunner needing to take credit for how good he is. Storm loves to be a dad and drink beer at night but his daughter told asked why he was mad at Gunner. Storm couldn’t answer that, so he’s got Gunner’s back no matter what.

They shake hands and seem to make things right when Bad Influence breaks them up. Kaz says the only thing worse than a drunken dime store cowboy is a drunken dime store cowboy. He knows the thing Storm wants more than anything is that briefcase. Daniels suggests a tag match with the briefcase on the line. He’ll do it if he trusts Storm of course. The fight is on and we get a referee as we head to a break.

Bad Influence vs. James Storm/Gunner

We come back from a break with Storm chopping Kaz in the corner before bringing in Gunner for some shots to the head. Gunner gets double teamed down and it’s Daniels taking over with right hands. An enziguri looks to set up the Angel’s Wings but Gunner backdrops him to escape.

Hot tag brings in Storm who cleans house with a middle rope cross body to Daniels but Kaz saves him from the Eye of the Storm. A missile dropkick sends Storm into the corner for a tag to Gunner and the former Marine cleans house. There’s a slingshot suplex to Kaz and a Last Call to Daniels, setting up a top rope headbutt to Kaz for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here for the most part but it wasn’t terrible. There really isn’t a big problem with the match but it came and went so fast (remember that about half of it was spent in a commercial) that it didn’t have time to go anywhere. I can’t picture Gunner as a world title contender but I’m sure there’s more coming to this story.

Video on Samoa Joe’s TNA career.

Roode comes in to see an irate Dixie and demands a title shot in the main event of Lockdown. She tries to throw him out but he says no. Instead Dixie gets her checkbook but that’s not what Roode wants either. Dixie has a week to figure this out and until then, she gets no more favors.

Eric Young is thrilled that he and Abyss get a title shot tonight. ODB isn’t thrilled because she’s worried about Abyss being a monster. She leaves and Abyss walks up with a bag in his hand.

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Spud to get answers about the investor. First off we insult the crowd by calling them the British B-Team before Spud demands the Wolves come to the ring right now. Spud gets right to the chase, asking who the investor is and even pointing a flashlight in their eyes. He goes on a rant about how awesome he is and says Dixie called him a fierce lion and tiger so talk.

Spud slaps Richards in the face and there go the jackets. Edwards throws Spud in the air and Davey kicks him in the ribs before saying Dixie will find out when everyone else finds out. The investor is also very interested in the main event and if anyone interferes, they’re fired. They’ve got me intrigued if nothing else.

We recap Eric Young revealing that Joseph Park is Abyss.

Tag Titles: Bro Mans vs. Abyss/Eric Young

Robbie throws Eric to the apron to start and we get the Flair strut. Abyss tries to grab Robbie from the apron but gets a stern lecture, allowing Jesse to come in off the top. Abyss comes in for more choking but Eric has to keep telling him to go back to the apron. Eric gets double teamed again before Abyss tries to come in for the third time in about two minutes.

The Bro Mans get to double team Young a bit more and Jesse gets two off a dropkick. Eric is launched into the corner for the tag to Abyss and house is cleaned, including a choke to Zema Ion. The referee pulls Abyss off and gets Shock Treatment for his efforts, drawing a DQ at about 5:00.

Rating: D. This storyline already feels really old and it’s getting even worse. Eric Young’s act of being insane and so crazy he’s brilliant has never appealed to me at all but it’s been going on for years now. The match was boring as we were just waiting for the ending with Abyss going nuts.

Eric gets a chokeslam post match and Abyss walks away.  Young grabs the mic and asks if this is how it ends.  There’s one experiment left so he asks if Abyss wants to get crazy.  Next week: Monster’s Ball.

Eddie Edwards says the investor is coming soon.

Bully Ray is pushing a casket in the back.

Sam Shaw has some wine with Christy Hemme and Sam puts his hand in a candle but doesn’t notice. They go off to see the rest of the palce and we switch to security camera footage. Christy looks out the window and Sam likes her hair down better. They go to another room but Sam sends her to get more wine. He turns on a light and it’s a shrine to Christy with pictures everywhere. Why do I have a feeling that no one is going to, I don’t know, TELL CHRISTY ABOUT THIS?

Here’s Ray with the casket to say Anderson has taken away Aces and 8’s and Ray’s identity. Therefore, Ray wants one final match: a casket match. Anderson comes out so Ray threatens to piledrive Anderson’s wife and kids. The match is accepted and Anderson opens the casket lid, ramming it into Ray’s face. Anderson throws Ray and a chair inside before hitting Ray low. Some chair shots to the back send Ray running and Anderson stands tall.

Video on Angle, talking about him being a cyborg.

Dixie, Ethan and Magnus are ready for the main event.

Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle vs. Magnus/Ethan Carter III

Joe/Angle’s careers vs. a title shot if Magnus loses the fall. Ethan goes behind Angle to start and grabs a headlock. Angle takes him down with an armbar and it’s off to Joe for some right hands in the corner. Back to Angle as this dominance continues, only to have Kurt miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. We cut to the back and see the Wolves getting out of the car and putting the camera on the ground as a third person gets out of the car.

Back from a break with Ethan holding Angle in a chinlock before it’s off to the champ for the first time. That lasts all of fifteen seconds before it’s back to Ethan who charges into a belly to belly suplex, allowing for the hot tag to Joe. Magnus comes in as well and walks into a powerslam and a bad looking cross armbreaker. Carter gets suplexed on the floor again as Joe locks on the Koquina Clutch for the submission at 9:55.

Rating: D+. Not a match here but the champion shouldn’t be tapping out clean in less than ten minutes. It wasn’t a good match either but it does set up Magnus’ next challenger which wasn’t clear. Also I like Joe getting back in the title scene as he hadn’t been near it for a long time now.

Post match Dixie comes out to yell at Magnus but Joe starts a YOU TAPPED OUT chant. Angle says that he’s done it all here in TNA and now he’s back. Kurt says he’ll take that Hall of Fame induction now and make sure to invite the investor. Dixie demands the investor come out right now and, after a delay, it’s……..MVP. This would have been huge if it was four years ago but now it’s just not bad.

Overall Rating: B-. This show had its faults but it did one thing right: it had me wanting to know who the investor was all the way up until the ending. The reveal wasn’t as good as it could have been but there were several worse options out there. I don’t care to see this storyline yet again but at least it won’t be as miserable as it could have been. At the end of the day, this is what you get with TNA so you have to learn to live with it. Not a great show but it did what it was supposed to.

Results

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne b. Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – In Yo Face to Kim

James Storm/Gunner b. Bad Influence – Top rope headbutt to Kazarian

Bro Mans b. Abyss/Eric Young via DQ when Abyss attacked the referee

Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe b. Magnus/Ethan Carter III – Koquina Clutch to Magnus

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NXT
Date: January 29, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Alex Riley, William Regal

We’re coming up on the big live show in about a month with Neville earning a title shot against champion Bo Dallas by surviving last week’s Beat the Clock match. Other than that we’ve got Sami Zayn trying to get another 2/3 falls match against Antonio Cesaro but Antonio doesn’t seem all that interested. Let’s get to it.

Mike Cuellari/John Ikerino vs. Ascension

I’m sure I spelled those names wrong but does it really matter? Apparently Cuellari is Q.T. Marshall from ROH and various other indies. Viktor easily slams him around and gets two off a suplex before it’s off to John who gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Konor comes off the middle rope with an even hard clothesline, setting up the Fall of Man for the pin by Viktor at 2:20.

Sylvester LeFort is still holding tryouts for a new client. Cal Bishop, an NCAA champion, comes in but Sylvester doesn’t like his cauliflower ears.

Corey Graves vs. Camacho

This is Graves’ return match after being gone two months due to a concussion. Corey says he’ll never forgive Adrian Neville for injuring him and tells both NXT and WWE to stay tuned. A long headlock on Camacho gets things going but Camacho shoves him out to the floor. Graves comes back in and kicks at the knee before putting on Lucky 13 for the submission at 1:21.

Cesaro says another match with Sami Zayn would be a waste of his time.

Next up for LeFort is a big man named Sawyer Ford who won’t say where he’s from, doesn’t know about an audition and won’t stop shaking LeFort’s hand.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Bayley’s music is, in a word, bubbly. Renee Young joins in on commentary. Bayley lunges at Charlotte but the referee keeps her in the ring, allowing Sasha to take over with a slam. Sasha ties up Bayley’s arms as Natalya cheers the bubbly one on. Bayley comes back with some running clotheslines in the corner as Natalya gets in a fight with the BFFs. Sasha grabs a rollup for two on a distracted Bayley, only to walk into the Belly to Bayley for the pin at 2:50 in another show match.

Colin Cassady vs. Tyler Breeze

The fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here as they think Breeze is gorgeous but also like spelling out S-A-W-F-T for SAWWWWFT! Breeze stalls a lot on the floor and in the corner for some picture taking but Cass gets a phone from a fan at ringside to take his own pictures. The fans completely dig it and Regal calls this more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Big Cass goes inside and we get the opening bell.

Tyler goes after Cass in the corner but the big man fires off right hands to the jaw while asking if Breeze is ok. A big SAWFT forearm to the back sets up an elbow drop for two on Tyler. There’s a nice big boot for the same but Aiden English pops up on screen to sing about Colin. He goes into the injured Enzo’s locker room and threats of violence are heard. The distraction lets Breeze hit the Beauty Shot for the pin on Cass at 2:24. The more I see of both of these guys, the more entertained I am.

After a break Colin finds a fine Enzo but there’s no English in sight. Enzo says English just threatened him and left. Cassady: “He ain’t the only one that can play games and I ain’t talking chess.” Enzo: “I don’t know how to play chess.” Cassady: “I’m talking Balderdash. Connect Four. Ring Around the Rosey. Hopscotch. Connect Four.” Enzo declares English to be sawft as Cassady goes to find English. I smell a swerve in the future.

CJ Parker vs. The Miz

Regal: “Miz reminds me of Kermit without the talent.” Miz avoids a right hand and slaps Parker in the face to start. Parker scores with some chops but Miz clotheslines him down. Regal explains what chops do to you as Parker comes back with chops of his own. Phillips: “You know what you do when someone chops you. You chop them back!” Regal: “Really? I used to scream.” Miz hits a very nice dropkick to send Parker to the floor and a baseball slid puts Parker down again.

Miz throws him back inside and slides between Parker’s legs into a sunset flip for two, only to walk into a kick to the face. A double running knee in the corner gets two more on Miz and we hit the chinlock. Miz fights up and hits the Reality Check before hooking a dragon screw leg whip and dropping some elbows on the leg. Parker kicks him into the corner and hits a high cross body, only to have Miz roll through and put on the Figure Four for the win at 4:40.

Rating: C-. I was impressed by Miz’s in ring work here as his offense made sense and that dropkick actually looked good. That being said, I still don’t like the Figure Four as his finishing move. The Skull Crushing Finale took him to the WWE Title and a win over John Cena in the main event of Wrestlemania. It’s the same thing that bothered me about AJ Styles becoming a Flair clone: he was already the best in the world. What was he going to become? The best wrestler on Venus?

Sami Zayn wants Cesaro to say no to his face next week.

Mason Ryan says he’ll work for Sylvester LeFort if LeFort can beat him next week.

Renee Young is in the ring to moderate the contract signing for Neville vs. Dallas. This is a bit less formal though as she’s just holding the contracts and invites both guys to the ring. Dallas doesn’t show up so Neville signs his contract, only to have Bo come out in wrestling gear. He insists he isn’t scared and is far meaner than he’s been in months. Dallas tells Neville to take a seat and watch the champion work.

Danny Birch vs. Bo Dallas

Birch takes a knee into the ribs to start and an elbow to the head for good measure. Dallas keeps staring at Neville as he drives in even more elbows to the side of the head. Birch comes back with some right hands but Bo blasts him in the face to put him right back down. A double arm DDT is enough to pin Danny at 2:22.

Bo signs the contract and decks Neville, triggering a brawl to end the show. The fan were very oddly quiet during the brawl.

Overall Rating: C+. Good but not great show this week, though it’s clear that they’re building up to the big night in about a month. I hope they don’t turn this into a WWE show and take away all of the good stuff that NXT has had going on in the last year plus, but maybe it’s just a quick change of pace before we get back to normal.

Results

Ascension b. Mike Cuellari/John Ikerino – Fall of Man to Ikerino

Corey Graves b. Camacho – Lucky 13

Tyler Breeze b. Colin Cassady – Beauty Shot

The Miz b. CJ Parker – Figure Four

Bo Dallas b. Danny Birch – Double arm DDT

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Tonight it’s another famous name as we look at the greatest Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of all time: the Honky Tonk Man.

We’ll start with one of the most famous moments of all time in Memphis wrestling: the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl from I believe 1980. This is a rare occasion where I won’t be reviewing the match because it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.

So this one needs some backstory. We have Bill Dundee and Lawler teaming up against Larry Latham (Moondog Spot) and Wayne Ferris (Honky Tonk Man), collectively known as the Blonde Bombers. The Bombers cheated like CRAZY to win the tag titles. The show looked like it was ending but as they faded to black you heard Russell saying stay with this because there’s a big brawl going on. The brawl went down to the concession stand, and this is what followed.

The Blondes are all busted open and they beat on each other with EVERYTHING. Mustard goes flying and they’re filming from the stairs. This is totally serious stuff in case that wasn’t clear. Everyone is bleeding. Lawler destroys Ferris while Dundee is stomped on. Jerry Jarrett comes in and finally gets Dundee away for a second. Also this isn’t one of those fake WCW concession stands. This is the real concession stand where the fans are buying food. The Blondes run so Lawler and Dundee chase them but the Blondes come back and destroy Jarrett, stripping his clothes off. They’re FINALLY pulled off to end this.

I won’t go into details on the whole history of this (if you’re interested in why this was booked and why Jerry Jarrett is one of the smartest men ever in wrestling, look up Jim Cornette’s commentary called “The Slippery Slope of Hardcore Wrestling.” It’s incredibly interesting and well worth the read, as is almost anything Cornette writes) but the main idea is that this is pretty much the birth of modern hardcore wrestling.

The key difference though: it was believable. This wasn’t something that you saw every day (first time ever for the most part) and EVERYONE talked about it. It saved the territory and worked because it was treated as a huge deal. This is something you’ll still hear about from time to time and you’ll occasionally see tributes to it even today. This is incredibly historic stuff and possibly the most famous moment in southern wrestling.

A few years later it was off to the WWF for another rarity: Honky Tonk Man as a face. More on that after this squash from October 4, 1986 on Superstars.

Ron Shaw vs. Honky Tonk Man

This is Honky’s TV debut. Vince actually calls him Wayne Ferris. Honky is in suspenders stil here. Mr. Fuji doesn’t wank Honky’s greasy hands on his tuxedo. Honky works on the arm to start but Shaw gets in a thumb to the eye. Honky rams him into the buckle but Shaw comes back. He beats on Honky for a bit until Honky slams him down and the middle rope fist (which isn’t like his cousin AT ALL right?) gets the pin. Honky was light years better as a heel.

Like many a midcarder before him, Honky Tonk Man wasn’t getting over as a face but the company wasn’t sure about turning him heel. For the first and I believe only time ever, they literally asked the fans. Honky Tonk Man asked if the fans would give him a vote of confidence and asked them to call a number and vote yes or no. There were more “no” votes and he turned heel. It’s never been tried again and I’m glad it hasn’t as I prefer my turns to be natural, but that’s quite the different idea.

About nine months later, Honky Tonk Man got an Intercontinental Title shot in what should have been a squash, but turned into a shocking upset. From the June 13, 1987 episode of Superstars/Best of the WWF Volume 13 (I really need to post that entire series someday).

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is about two months after Steamboat beat Savage for the title in Detroit and is perhaps the biggest upset and one of the biggest shocks in company history. Steamboat was untouchable at this time. See, one very important thing to remember about the title in this time frame is that title reigns were A LOT longer at this point. The title had been around for over 8 years here and there had been one title reign that went less than six months and only two had gone under seven months (Steamboat was the 11th champion). In other words, this title did not change hands often.

Honky jumps Steamboat almost immediately and throws him over the top. This is of course, REALLY STUPID, as Dragon skins the cat and sends Honky to the floor. Steambaot gets a suplex and takes over. Steamboat’s movements are absolutely perfect. Everything he does is incredibly crisp and he doesn’t take a break on a single move. Even something like a chop is perfect as he follows through on them and they look awesome. He’s someone that you need to watch every single motion of because they’re all great.

Anyway Steamboat gets sent into the buckle and here comes the challenger. The same awkward middle rope elbow as the first match misses and here comes the Dragon. He ducks low though and almost gets caught in the Shake Rattle and Roll. A top rope chop should put Honky away but Jimmy distracts the referee. Steamboat rolls Honky up but Honky grabs the ropes and gets a (weird as the first count was before Honky was on top and was probably the one for Steamboat’s cover) three count for the title and the shock of the decade.

Rating: C. The match itself is ok but it’s totally inconsequential. The point here is that Honky won the title and it was indeed shocking. This would be like Zach Ryder (this was written before Ryder meant anything as a singles guy) beating Kofi for the title. See, back then there were championship squashes. Today (February 3, 2011 if you’re reading this years later, my 23rd birthday for you KB trivia fans. Yes I’m reviewing on my birthday) Edge is the Smackdown champion and this would be like him defending against Heath Slater.

The thing is that today, everyone would expect there to be something up because when the title is defended on TV it’s either a huge showdown or something is about to happen. Back in the 80s, it was perfectly common for the IC or tag titles to be defended two or three times a month on TV.

They would usually be glorified squashes with random challengers that posed zero threat to the titles though, and that’s what you have here. This wasn’t some big hyped up showdown for the title. This was a typical title defense for Steamboat and more or less just another day at the office. That’s why this is so shocking and the biggest upset in the 1980s.

Honky would hold the title for nearly 15 months in one of the most brilliant booking runs in wrestling history. The idea was the same one over and over again: Honky was always the underdog and against far better competition but he would cheat to escape with the title. Here’s one of those title defenses against Brutus Beefcake at Wrestlemania IV.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

Sherri Martel is with Honky as Peggy Sue here which is a pretty amazing character change for her. This is during Honky’s insanely long run that drew a ton of money and is pretty awesome all around. Brutus hits a quick atomic drop and messes with Honky’s hair to play with his mind a bit. Honky bails to the floor as Jesse and Gorilla debate crooked referees. Back in and Beefcake rams Honky’s head into the buckle a few times as this is one sided so far.

A high knee sends the champion back to the floor but once back in, Beefcake gets caught by a shot to the stomach. Honky takes over and stomps away which is about the extent of his offense. He loads up the Shake Rattle and Roll but drops it and goes back to stomping. Honky tries it again but Brutus grabs the rope to block it. Beefcake pounds away a bit and grabs his sleeper but Jimmy knocks out the referee. Honky gets knocked but but there’s no referee so Brutus celebrates like an idiot. Brutus cuts Jimmy Hart’s hair for fun and Honky walks out. It’s a DQ I think.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as this show is just going WAY too long at this point. We’re only about two and a half hours into it and we’ve got four matches left. Brutus was just another guy in there to not get the title off Honky, which adds him to a list of about 10 guys who couldn’t do it. Honky would get his soon enough though.

During this time, Honky Tonk Man would feud with every midcard face on the roster, including an awesome feud with a now face Randy Savage where Honky Tonk Man would shove Liz down, insuring him a spot in eternal torment. It wasn’t until Summerslam 88 that the Ultimate Warrior of all people outsmarted Honky and beat him in thirty seconds to absolutely blow the roof off of Madison Square Garden and win the title.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. ???

Honky says to get him someone out here to wrestle and he doesn’t care who it is. After a few seconds, the Ultimate Warrior charges to the ring, pounds Honky with right hands, hits a shoulder block and splashes him for the pin and the title in thirty seconds. The crowd ERUPTS, as this is what they’ve been waiting over a year to see.

So why was this so awesome? This was one of the most perfectly told stories the WWF ever produced and they nailed it every step of the way. Back in 1987, Ricky Steamboat was Intercontinental Champion but wanted to take some time off. The solution was to put the title on the comedic newcomer the Honky Tonk Man, who cheated to win the belt. Honky viewed as a total joke as champion due to his lack of skill and his gimmick of a wrestling Elvis impersonator.

The fans looked at him as someone who would lose the title the first time he defended it against someone far more competent than he was so it wasn’t that big of a deal. This is where Vince had the fans: what if Honky just didn’t lose the title? If there is one thing pure fans hate, it’s seeing a guy who doesn’t deserve a title holding onto it against people they like. Honky did this for the next 18 months by coming up with every way imaginable to cheat, ranging from getting counted out, disqualified, having Jimmy Hart interfere, walking out of matches and all points in between.

Honky continued to hold the title against far better talent, such as Jim Duggan, Randy Savage, Jake Roberts, Ricky Steamboat and Brutus Beefcake, with the idea being “he has to lose eventually.” All of a sudden, Honky was one of the biggest draws around because people would pay their money to see him get beaten up, thinking that the lucky streak couldn’t go on much longer. Well the streak DID keep going, stretching into the longest title reign in the history of the belt which still stands to this day and will likely never be broken.

This is why having Warrior out there was so brilliant. Warrior was the last guy on earth that you would expect to pull off something clever, but he did what everyone else had overlooked: he didn’t bother trying to outsmart Honky, but instead just ran over him and beat him in thirty seconds. This is EXACTLY what the fans had wanted to see for over a year and they got it to perfection. That’s the kind of storytelling that you never get anymore which is a shame.

That was the point to the whole story: Honky wasn’t a deserving champion and got a total of one pinfall (that anyone remembers) but kept the title forever anyway by cheating. People would pay money to see faces beat the fire out of Honky in the hopes that it HAD to end sometime. When it did, the payoff was perfection and is still one of the coolest moments ever. Like I said, he held it for fifteen months. Since then, the longest title reign is less than ten months. That record will NEVER be broken.

That was pretty much it for Honky Tonk Man’s success in the WWF. He would spend the next few years jobbing to everyone in sight before forming a tag team with Greg Valentine called Rhythm and Blues. They never would do anything of note but their last match of note in the company was a pretty famous one. From Survivor Series 1990.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine and the Harts are the tag champions. Dusty and DiBiase are feuding for obvious character reasons. Now we get to the legendary part of the match: the mystery partner. DiBiase gets on the mic and introduces for the first time ever…..THE UNDERTAKER. Who on the planet would have imagined what this guy would become over the next twenty two years? Unreal indeed. The look on Taker’s face is eerie and he stands there like a zombie which makes it even better.

Quick sidebar: the Undertaker is probably the greatest example ever of someone being the only person that could pull off his character. Mark Calaway is PERFECT as the Undertaker with the look and the size and the dead looking eyes and the tattoos and everything like that. Before this he was just Mean Mark Callous in WCW and was a generic big villain. Sometimes it’s about finding what works and Taker has worked for a very long time. Also a bit of trivia: he debuted at a Superstars taping three days before this under the name Kane the Undertaker.

Undertaker and Bret start with Taker pounding the tar out of him. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Taker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Taker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Off to Neidhart who can’t move Taker at all and gets slammed for trying. Jim looked TERRIFIED and tags out to Koko, who is too stupid to be afraid. Koko misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top. The Tombstone (I believed named by Gorilla on the spot here) debuts but isn’t exactly the famous version yet, as Taker has both of Koko’s legs on one side of his head and covers with the folded arms but from the sides. It looked and sounded great though.

Bret comes in and hammers on Undertaker who just stares at him. Taker tags in Valentine and gives one of the most evil glares you’ll ever see at Bret. Off to Big Dust who starts gyrating. They chop it out in the corner and it’s off to Anvil. The Harts take their turns working over Valentine’s arm but Greg gets a knee up in the corner. Off to Honky who is rapidly on his way out of the company. Bret makes a blind tag to Neidhart who sneaks in and powerslams Honky out.

DiBiase comes in to jump Neidhart but it’s quickly off to Dusty for the big showdown. It’s back to Neidhart quickly but Virgil trips Jim up and DiBiase clotheslines him down for the pin. Here’s Bret again who pounds away and it’s back to Dream for more of the same. Back to Undertaker who gets some HEIGHT on a jumping stomp to the back of Dusty’s head.

Bret comes in again and chokes Bret in the corner and somehow shows no emotion while at the same time looking angrier than any wrestler I’ve ever seen. Bret fights off DiBiase out of the corner and it’s off to Dusty. Taker comes in, goes up, walks (a little way) down the rope with no one to hold onto, and hits a double ax to eliminate Dusty. Brother Love stomps on Dusty a bit so Dusty chases him off. Undertaker stalks Dusty to the back to get counted out, which is the only thing they could have done with him here.

Back in the ring Bret rolls up Valentine very quickly and it’s DiBiase vs. Hart. Bret pounds on DiBiase and atomic drops him to the floor, followed by a pescado to take Ted out again. DiBiase’s shoulder goes into the post and his head goes into the steps and they head back inside. They slug it out but DiBiase sends him chest first into the buckle to take over.

A quick backslide gets two for Hart and now it’s time for a classic: Bret trips over DiBiase and fakes a knee injury, resulting in a small package for two. Virgil interference messes up and another rollup gets two for Bret. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two for Hart but DiBiase rolls through a cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is a very interesting match as you could see stars being made and stars going away. DiBiase clearly didn’t mean as much as he used to and would shift into a tag team run soon after this. Dusty would be gone in January as would Honky. On the other hand you can see the rise of Bret Hart on the horizon as the crowd was LOSING IT over those near falls at the end. Oh and the Undertaker. That’s kind of a big deal.

He would jump to WCW after about four years in the indies and be right in the TV Title scene. Here’s one of about five matches he wrestled in WCW against TV Champion Johnny B. Badd at Halloween Havoc 1994.

TV Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Johnny B. Badd

Honky is billed from Honkyland USA which is about a million jokes that write themselves. Apparently the singer was named T. Graham Brown, a country singer that I doubt anyone north of Tennessee has ever heard of. Naturally WCW puts him in front of a crowd in a state that borders Canada and expects everyone to just know who that is. Still no recognition of Ali either.

We see a huge group of middle aged men in suits which makes me think this isn’t going to go well. Badd has in fangs and that confetti shooter. Again, this is the time period where he was portraying a gay man without saying that. Yes, shooing confetti is a great way to get cheers from the crowd. Honky stalls to start, as he’s from Memphis. He hasn’t been relevant in about four years at this point so of course he’s in a title match here.

Yeah that has nothing to do with Hogan at all. To the shock of no one, the fans are more or less dead. Oh the main event is a cage match too as I forgot to mention that. He’s the exact same worker that he was when he had the IC Title for a year, but minus the heat or anyone caring. He hits a chinlock so we go to a long shot of the crowd to break the boredom I guess.

Oh hey, ten minutes into the broadcast, Heenan mentions Ali, and WHAT A COINCIDENCE, he’s here! That shows that either WCW is freaking stupid or Ali isn’t as big of a star as he used to be. Ali would light the Olympic torch in less than two years in one of the greatest moments in sports history and in 1994 WCW has Honky Tonk Man opening a PPV. You figure out the right answer.

We get the standard announcement of five minutes left in the 10-15 minute TV Title matches. And it’s obvious now. Also, I love how the Television Title is being defended on a PPV broadcast but whatever. We hit out third chinlock of the match because it worked so well the first two times.

Orton has nothing on Honky. We get to the last minute of the match and Badd goes for the Kiss That Don’t Miss. Tony’s commentary here is kind of funny: “He’s going for the Kiss That Don’t Miss! He missed it!” Ok so that passes for funny to me here. They fight to the time limit and then Honky runs. This was brutally bad.

Rating: D. Seriously, the FREAKING HONKY TONK MAN was the best you could do here? Why? What possessed you to think this was a good idea? Who booked this? Honky wasn’t good in the ring more or less ever and was ok at best on the mic. To say he’s watered down here is an understatement as this was just awful and boring to boot. This just made my head hurt.

Honky Tonk Man would just walk out on the company soon thereafter and be back in the WWF a few years later as a commentator. He never got in the ring, but would eventually come back as a choice to face Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Title at Cyber Sunday 2008.

Time to pick a legend to fight Santino for the IC Title. Beth looks MUCH better in her usual attire. Santino talks for a bit and we see the Honk-a-Meter, which would have been a lot better if it had come closer than a year away from passing Honky’s record. We get a basic promo about Phoenix (the town, not the Diva) being full of old people like Shaq, and he’s in the front row, ending the promo quickly. Oddly enough the Cardinals would make the Super Bowl this season so the joke kind of backfired.

The choices are Honky Tonk Man, Piper or Goldust. The vote is far closer than expected with everyone getting over 30%. Piper looks FAR better than last year and probably 35 pounds lighter. After the Honk-a-meter, who do you think wins here?

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella

How brilliant is a wrestling Elvis impersonator? That’s just awesome. Honky Tonk may be old here but he doesn’t look bad, even though it’s bizarre to see him as a face. Total comedy match with the big wrestling move being a headlock. Beth hits him with the belt for the DQ about a minute in. Santino yells at her for no apparent reason and the beatdown follows for Santino as Piper and Goldie come out. Side note: Beth is absolutely gorgeous. It really is good to see Piper look so much healthier. Considering about a year earlier he had Hodgkin’s Disease, this is a great thing to see.

Rating: N/A. Just for a feel good moment and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially in a one minute match.

You know, for a legend, Honky Tonk Man really didn’t wrestle all that much in the big leagues. He was around from late 1986 to 1991 and was only prominent for about two to three years. That speaks volumes about great that Intercontinental Title reign was. It’s obvious that Honky Tonk Man was better on the mic and as a character than he was in the ring and that’s all you need to be a lot of the time.

He’s definitely entertaining and a great lesson in how to make a crowd want to kill a wrestler. If nothing else, the full story of him stealing the title and holding it as long as he did combined with the blowoff might be the most perfect story ever produced by WWE. I even did a Thought of the Day about it:

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Monday Nitro #153
Date: September 7, 1998
Location: Pensecola Civic Center, Pensecola, Florida
Attendance: 6,379
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Nitro and the main story is of course the Warrior taking out the NWO with his sleeping gas that doesn’t work on either himself or Hogan. The big story coming into tonight is Page giving his answer to the Wolfpack who gave him until tonight to decide about joining. The main event for tonight is Dean Malenko vs. Curt Hennig in a cage, which is a pretty smart idea actually. “You think this is awesome? This Sunday it’s twice as much carnage!” Let’s get to it.

As a side note: Nitro turns 3 years old with this show. It’s hard to believe it was only on that long at this point.

We open with the NWO freaking out in Hogan’s locker room due to Warrior graffiti everywhere. Vincent runs in to get Hogan and says someone has been taken away in an ambulance. There was a lot of confusion but it might have been Scott Norton and/or Brian Adams. Hogan and the NWO storm out to the ring to search for Warrior with Bischoff demanding that Warrior come out. Hollywood rants about Warrior staining his dressing room and injuring Norton and Adams. He’s as sick as Warrior as he is Hart, so Hart is off the WarGames team and Giant is on.

Opening sequence.

Konnan vs. Bull Pain

Feeling out process to start until Konnan sends him into the corner and takes Pain down with a rolling clothesline. Pain rakes the eyes to come back and sends Konnan outside for a clothesline off the apron. Back in and Pain hits something like a frog splash for two but misses a middle rope elbow. Konnan makes a very quick comeback with the X Factor to set up the Tequila Sunrise for the win. Pain didn’t look bad at all.

Announcers talk for a bit.

JJ Dillon says Hart is still in WarGames instead of Giant. Glad to see they resolved that story inside of fifteen minutes.

Nitro Girls.

Gene brings out DDP for a chat. He’s ready for WarGames, where he’ll take care of Hollywood SCUM Hogan. That brings him to the Wolfpack, which asked him to join last week. The Black and White offered him a spot a year ago and he made them feel the Bang. Now the Wolfpack seems like they’re threatening him and that’s not cool with Page. He doesn’t trust the Wolfpack so his answer is no.

This brings out Nash to thank Page for the history lesson. If Page isn’t part of his team at WarGames, he’s their target on Sunday. Page says he can’t trust Nash and can’t see how Luger or Sting can either. Those two hit the ring with Luger saying he and Sting were as close to WCW as anyone but they came on board.

He wants to know where Page stands, but Page says the same thing he said earlier: Nash would turn on either of them at the drop of a hat. Sting says Nash has powerbombed him a few times now but he still trusts him. Sting has also bailed Page out time after time but if Page isn’t interested, go get Piper and we’ll have a tag match. The Wolfpack leaves and Page says he wants Nash on that team.

Back with even more talking as Gene brings out Roddy Piper. He says he isn’t Page’s midget, lapdog or wife. Piper doesn’t like ultimatums and the teams mean nothing on Sunday. If he and Page are the last two guys standing, of course they’re going to fight each other. He’ll team with Page tonight though.

Video on the Nitro Girls. Nothing wrong with that.

Lenny Lane vs. Wrath

Wrath throws him around with ease to start and fires off kicks in the corner. A HUGE beal sends Lane flying across the ring and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts him down again. Lane tries a sleeper but is thrown down and flipped upside down off a shoulder block. Meltdown ends this fast.

Disciple is found hanging upside down in the NWO locker room.

Here’s Bret with something of his own to say. Before he can get anything out though, we get NWO music and here are Vincent, Hennig and Stevie Ray. However Sting runs out to chase the three of them off before anything can be said. Sting hands Bret the bat and turns his back on him but Bret drops the bat.

Hour #2 begins.

We look at Scott Steiner turning on his brother from seven months ago, even though we haven’t seen them fight yet. There are some cool old school clips of the Steiners being the best tag team in the world back in the early 90s.

Evan Karagias vs. Scott Steiner

Have a good Cruiserweight Title match, get squashed by Steiner next week. Makes sense. Buff comes in to commentary before Scott grabs the mic and takes credit for all of the Steiner Brothers’ success. Steiner pounds him down to start and talks trash on the mic at the beginning. A gorilla pres drop puts Evan down and a double underhook powerbomb sets up the Steiner Recliner for the win. Another match too short to rate.

Nitro Girls and Nitro Party winner.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Hector Garza

This is Garza’s return after knee surgery and he’s challenging. Garza takes over with a quick backdrop and some chops against the ropes but Juvy avoids a splash in the corner. The announcers ignore the match to talk about the NWO parody of the Horsemen from a year ago in this building as Juvy dives to the floor and drives Garza into the barricade. They head back inside where Hector dropkicks Juvy out of the air for two.

A nice spinebuster gets the same before it’s off to a Boston Crab with Hector lifting Juvy off the mat by his arms and rocking him back and forth. La Majistral gets two for Hector and he grabs a double underhook but pulls back on Juvy’s arms for a submission attempt. That goes nowhere so he just throws Juvy into the air and lets him crash. A dropkick to the back puts Guerrera down but he jumps to the apron and hits a quick missile dropkick for two. Garza blocks the top rope hurricanrana and hits a wicked powerbomb for two. A Lionsault minus the running start only hits mat though and the Juvy Driver retains the title.

Rating: C. This was fine. Garza was wrestling a different style than most luchadors here but he looked decent in his first match back after a knee surgery. Juvy continues to look awesome and he’s well deserving of the title. I like him having these title defenses every week as it makes whoever beats him look even better.

Hennig and Rude come out to talk about the Horsemen. Curt says he slammed the door on the Horsemen a year ago and calls Arn Anderson a coward. Rude says the Horsemen were riding high fifteen years ago (not quite) but now they’ve been put out to pasture. As for Malenko tonight, Curt says Dean is just being a horse’s ask Rick Rude about it.

Kenny Kaos vs. The Cat

Miller is slapping hands now despite being a heel for weeks. He dances around to start before stomping on Kaos’ foot and sweeping the leg to take over. Kaos gets annoyed and kicks him in the ribs, only to have his eyes raked. Miller throws him to the floor but Kenny comes back in with a springboard clothesline and puts on something like an abdominal stretch on the mat. Miller fights back but gets caught in a barely swinging neckbreaker, only to come back with the Feliner (Trouble in Paradise) for the pin.

Rating: N/A. The match ran 3:03 and about 40 seconds of that were spent on Miller posing. The guy just isn’t interesting at all and it’s getting annoying having to sit through him every week. Kaos was another jobber of the week for him here but I have no idea who thinks Miller is going to get over doing the same stuff he’s always done.

Miller issues an open challenge and no one comes out.

Stevie Ray vs. Chris Adams

Adams has some awesome trumpet music now. Stevie’s eyes are bugging out and it’s rather bizarre looking. Chris goes right at him to start but Stevie shoves him out of the corner, allowing Vincent to get in some cheap shots of his own. The fans chant for Booker T as Stevie slowly pounds Adams and puts on a nerve hold.

A knee to the face puts Adams down again but he avoids a charge in the corner and scores with a belly to back suplex. An enziguri staggers Stevie for a bit and a middle rope clothesline looks to finish but a Vincent distraction stops Chris cold. Stevie superkicks him down and hits the Slap Jack (Pedigree) for the DX Special and the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as usual. It’s a bad sign when the jobber’s music is the best part of a match. I still don’t get why Stevie Ray was given this spot but he’s not terrible in the role. It gives him something to do, but to go from the less interesting half of a tag team to a PPV main event in a few months is a jump for anyone, let alone Stevie Ray.

Another Nitro Girls video, this time with each Girl having her name listed.

Riggs vs. Kanyon

That’s a very strange pairing which is why something is up. Raven orders Lodi to make Saturn face Riggs instead of Kanyon, saying it’s about honor Army Boy. Riggs takes over early with a dropkick and a shoulder in the corner. Raven talks a lot of trash as Lodi tells Saturn to fight back. Saturn has had no offense yet. A standing clothesline puts Saturn down again and a running forearm does the same.

The fans think Lodi sucks as Saturn ducks a right hand and kicks Riggs in the face. Saturn keeps the momentum going with a t-bone suplex and some chops in the corner before throwing Riggs out to the floor. Riggs is thrown into the steps and barricade before the Death Valley Driver is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. More angle advancement here in the best story in WCW at this point. Riggs could have been any member of the Flock but it helped that he’s arguably the best known out of all the lackeys. Saturn is getting a great rub out of this and the story is helping make him a bigger deal. It never ceases to amaze me how simple that is yet it hardly ever happens.

Post match Raven wants to test Saturn’s honor, so he has Lodi order Saturn to break Riggs’ fingers. Saturn says there’s no honor in that so he’s given another option: break Riggs’ fingers or let Raven break Saturn’s. Saturn holds up his hand and Raven snaps at least two of them, leaving Saturn writhing around in pain though he refuses help from the trainer. The match is going to be awesome.

Hour #3 begins with more Nitro Girls.

TV Title: Chris Jericho vs. Jim Neidhart

This isn’t even the strangest challenger of the night. Jericho says he definitely is the Walrus. “Goo goo ga choo.” Neidhart quickly sends him outside and shrugs off a shoulder block back inside. Jericho is thrown into the air and crashes back down to the mat as this is one sided so far. Chris comes back with a dropkick and its springboard cousin sends Neidhart to the floor. Neidhart is sent into the barricade and back inside for a kick to the face and a two count.

Jim comes back with some hard whips into the corner but is leveraged to the floor. Jericho’s plancha is caught in midair and Jim rams him back first into the post to take over again. Back in and Neidhart misses a middle rope splash, setting up a very strange finish. Jericho tries the Walls, but Neidhart won’t let the hold go on full. Jericho eventually gets him turned but Neidhart keeps fighting as the referee calls for the bell, saying Jim is out, even though he’s clearly crawling for the rope. The bell doesn’t ring the first two times the referee asks for the bell which makes it even stranger. Both guys look confused.

Rating: D+. The match was decent for a power vs. speed match despite the strange ending. There was either some miscommunication or they were running short on time but whatever they were trying didn’t work. I’m not sure if the two things are connected or not, but this was Neidhart’s last match on Nitro as he would be gone before the end of the month.

Here’s Eddie Guerrero to say there’s nothing he enjoys more than wrestling in WCW because Eric Bischoff won’t let him go wrestle anywhere else. Last week he hurt his back in the Brian Adams match, so he can’t wrestle until he has an MRI. Eddie’s contract says that if he gets hurt, it’s Bischoff who is responsible. Therefore, to keep lawyers out of the situation, he’s taking the night off. Eddie was in a shirt with a picture of a pencil crossed out to reference Eric bragging about how much power he has with his pen.

The cage is lowered.

Curt Hennig vs. Dean Malenko

There’s a top on the cage too. Hennig jumps Dean to start and fires off chops and kicks to Ice Man. There’s a referee in the ring and Tony implies you can’t win by escape. Dean comes back with a leg lariat but Hennig jumps up and grabs the roof, only to be pulled back down in a big crash. Hennig avoids a charge in the corner and Dean rams his shoulder and head into the steel to change control again.

Curt goes after the shoulder as Rude is seen trying to pick the lock. The shoulder is sent into the buckle for two and Hennig rams him head first into the cage. Malenko comes back with kicks out of the corner but Curt gets in a shot to the ribs to put him down again. Hennig wants Dean to give up and wave at his Horsemen buddies. Another ram into the cage gets two as Dean is in trouble.

Hennig keeps showing psychology by going to a cross armbreaker. Dean rolls on top of him to break the pressure, only to be sent into the cage again. Malenko finally gets a double leg and catapults Curt into the cage as the fans go NUTS. Dean sends him into the cage again but Hennig gets the rope to block the Cloverleaf. Curt tries a slam but the referee gets bumped, only to have Dean dropkick Hennig into the cage and grab the Cloverleaf. Hennig taps out but cue the NWO with Bischoff unlocking the cage and letting Rude and Stevie Ray lay out Malenko for a DQ. In a cage match?

Rating: B-. Let Malenko make a comeback and win with the Cloverleaf here and it’s a sleeper classic. I’ll give credit to WCW: they managed to book a DQ with an NWO run-in in a cage match. That takes talent. The thing to notice here though was the crowd’s reaction. They were behind Malenko here and wanted to see tradition win the war against the jerks that wants to kill it. WCW just didn’t want to believe that and never went with it.

Curt loads up the door slam on Malenko’s head as the fans chant for Goldberg. They get someone a little bit better though. ARN ANDERSON hits the ring and cleans house, throwing Stevie into the cage and daring the NWO to come inside the cage and fight him. Malenko and Anderson share a look of respect and saying Anderson has his back. Absolutely awesome moment here with Arn having a very intense look on his face for the first time in too long.

WCW World Title: Goldberg vs. Scott Putski

Thankfully the match is over before fans realize that SCOTT PUTSKI might be going into Fall Brawl as world champion. Yeah Fall Brawl: the second straight PPV where Goldberg isn’t defending the world title.

Nitro Girls again.

Lex Luger/Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page/Roddy Piper

I guess Nash was busy combing his hair. Piper and Page get in an argument over who is going to start until it’s Page vs. Luger. They circle each other for a bit until Piper tags himself in and goes off on Luger, stomping him down onto the ropes. They head outside for a whip into the barricade and more stompings by Piper. He shouts to Page that it’s war before tagging DDP in for a belly to back suplex and a two count.

Lex comes back with the running forearm and it’s off to Sting to speed things up. A jumping DDT puts Page down again but he comes right back with a running DDT of his own. Everything breaks down and a double clothesline puts Sting and Page down. Cue Nash to post Piper and Jackknife Page for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was barely a match and just a primer for the show on Sunday. Piper was energetic but it doesn’t help that it’s nearly 1999 and Roddy Piper is in a match for a future world title shot on PPV. He was right about the team stuff though and ruined the entire premise in one line earlier tonight. To be fair it wasn’t a good premise in the first place but he did indeed ruin it.

Here are Hogan and Giant to close the show. Hollywood, while grabbing a chair, says he knows the rules now and if Warrior still wants a piece he’ll have to go through the Giant. First though, let’s lower the cage to surround the NWO and let Warrior walk right through the door. Hogan goes on a rant about Goldberg as the smoke fills the ring. The smoke clears, Hogan is coughing, Giant is out, and Warrior is sitting in a chair inside the cage.

Ever the genius, Warrior circles Hogan, who has a chair in hand by the way, for a minute and a half before taking off his jacket. He misses his chair shot and Hogan gets in one of his own to no effect. Bischoff comes out and unlocks the cage to let Hogan out as Warrior gets to stand tall with the smoke filling the ring again. Warrior is gone and Hogan/Bischoff are terrified to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was so frustrating. There were so many good things on the show like the Horsemen, the Flock and Jericho, but then we get The Amazing Warrior and his magic act. It’s stupid when Undertaker does this stuff but at least he’s a character with a supernatural side to him. With Warrior, it comes off as Hogan and Bischoff looking like morons who are scared of their own shadows.

There are a lot of good things going on right now and almost all of them are completely isolated from the main event scene. Hogan seems to be running a circus in the main events anymore while Goldberg is stuck beating up guys like Al Green and Scott Putski. You couldn’t throw in a title match against Giant for Sunday?

A quick look at the card for Fall Brawl shows me that we have Jim Neidhart/British Bulldog vs. Disco Inferno/Alex Wright and Ernest Miller vs. Norman Smiley in matches that combine for over sixteen minutes. There’s room for that but not for the WORLD CHAMPION who is the hottest act in the company? It couldn’t be that Hogan was jealous and holding him off or anything so he could soothe his ego from a match that no one has thought of in years could it? This promotion is so frustrating and it’s only going to get worse as time goes on.

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That’s the big story today.http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/311438

Short version: Punk is sick and tired of the direction the company is going and doesn’t like the part timers taking the big spots.  Now of course there’s the chance that this is all a work, especially given that it’s Punk, but he’s coming off as rather whiny here if it’s true.  Punk was WWE Champion for well over a year and was without a doubt the #2 guy in the company.  I understand the problem with wanting to be the top guy and seeing people like Batista coming in and getting that spot, but this isn’t the way to go about it.  At least get through Wrestlemania and be written off TV.

However, I think he’ll be back for Wrestlemania and the showdown with HHH.  Either that or Bryan will take Punk’s spot and pin HHH clean.  The question is: will that be ok with the fans?