Final Battle 2006
Date: December 23, 2006
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Lenny Leonard, Dave Prazak

To say I don’t know much about ROH would be an understatement. I know it’s the biggest indy company out there and that’s about it. This is the second show of theirs that I’ve done so I’m at least trying. This is one of their bigger shows of the year and the name comes from that it’s the last show of the year. This is also three and a half hours long so it’s going to be a long night. I’ll do what I can as far as knowing names, but I make no promises about having a clue as to what’s going on. Let’s get to it.

We see Homicide and Danielson walking into the arena. That’s the main event.

And Santa Claus is here. Ok then with an elf. The fans recognize him apparently. There’s another elf in his bag. They throw out t-shirts until some guys come in and beat the heck out of them with chairs and some nice double team stuff. Ah they’re the Briscoes. I knew they looked familiar. They want the Kings of Wrestling, more commonly known as Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli. Ah apparently those were ROH students. That’s what I was betting on.

Jimmy Jacobs talks about being a stranger in this city. He talks about wanting to hurt Colt Cabana and BJ Whitmer. He loved this chick named Lacey (not that Lacey. This one has talent) and Colt slept with her and BJ messed her face up. He’s teaming with Brent Albright later against those two. This would lead into the Age of the Fall about 9 months later which is what got me to somewhat follow ROH.

The fans are chanting OLE so I’m betting on a luchador. And I’m right.

El Generico vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Davey Richards vs. Christopher Daniels

To say the fans don’t like Rave is an understatement. It’s nice to hear some good solid insults unlike a WWE show. A DIE JIMMY DIE chant starts up. Ok then. Richards is a big deal now and allegedly is the future of the company. He comes out to Runnin With The Devil so I can’t complain. This is a four corner survival match which I’m guessing means elimination rules? Daniels is a tag champion here.

The fans like fallen angels apparently. Maybe this is the Daniels I always hear about being awesome. There’s a fairly hot chick with him named Allison Danger so I can’t complain. His entrance takes a LONG time. She’s a girl scout and the fans want cookies. That’s creative at least. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and we just now hear the announcers. Richards and Generico start.

This is two outside and two inside. We stall for a LONG time to start, namely due to Generico continuously shouting OLE! We’ll be getting a year in review kind of thing also which is a major plus for me. We hear about Rave having a heel hook that got Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) to tap out.

Richards is confused by Generico. Hey I’m thinking like Richards! Daniels’ partner is Matt Sydal, more commonly known as Evan Bourne. Danger is the sister of Steve Corino. Dang. Scratch the elimination part as it’s first pinfall wins. That kind of makes no sense but whatever. Rave vs. Daniels now. Daniels wins. Like, wins a lot. Not the match, just the fight. Wow I worded that one badly didn’t I?

I never liked Rave in TNA and I think I’m seeing why again here. Danger gets the fans to cheer. That’s what a manager is supposed to do partially so she’s doing her job. Richards is fun to watch if nothing else. A German on Generico gets two. Best Moonsault Ever is broken up.

They’re doing a good job of keeping it at about three people in there which is nice instead of the usual two pairings these devolve into. Rave is being smart and just letting these three fight. I’m not entirely sure why the crowd is this into it though. It’s not that great. Generico hits his brainbuster on the turnbuckle on Richards, but Rave made a tag when they were in the corner.

He slips in and gets his heel hook for the submission. Pay no attention to the total lack of tagging for the five minutes before this. He gets on the mic and complains about respect but Nigel McGuinness comes out and slaps him.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it wasn’t anything great. It just came off as being all over the place and lost its structure about 10 minutes in. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that good. Having the heel win the opener is a bit of a head scratcher too but that’s fine I suppose. Just nothing to make me that into the show.

Adam Pearce vs. Ricky Reyes

Pearce is the current NWA World Champion but that hadn’t happened yet. Pearce is kind of a throwback to old heels but the doesn’t have a lot of the talent to do so. He dedicates the night to Jim Cornette for no apparent reason.

He guarantees Homicide doesn’t leave with the world title. Both of these guys have seconds here, one of which is named Shane Hangadorn and the other of which is named Julius Smokes. Pearce apparently looks like Repo Man. This is impromptu even though both came down in their ring attire and they had graphics ready for their names. Sure why not.

Apparently if Homicide loses here he quits. Hagadorn throws something to Pearce and he blasts Reyes with it for the pin. Short and pretty uninteresting. Smokes gets beaten up too.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all but to be fair it was fairly short so I can’t complain much. I’ve never thought much of Pearce and this Smokes guy is getting very annoying very quickly. I’m not sure what the point of this was but it didn’t work that well.

Jimmy Jacobs/Brent Albright vs. BJ Whitmer/Colt Cabana

Cabana’s music is catchy if nothing else. It’s a brawl immediately as we’re told Albright is a gun for hire. Well that explains why he’s in there. We get a series of 2-1s until we get to…more 2-1s. I don’t think there are faces and heels here or anything as they might be all faces. Not sure though. I think Whitmer and Cabana are the default heels but I’m not sure.

We almost get a table spot but Albright makes the save. Whitmer does a cool thing as he suplexes both himself and Jacobs to the floor. It’s better than it sounds. We haven’t had anything resembling a coherent match as it’s all just a big mess so far. Not bad though. Finally we get Whitmer vs. Jacobs who used to be tag partners. They used to be tag champions if that means anything.

Albright hooks a crossface minus the arm trap on Whitmer while looks good. Jacobs is completely obsessed with Lacey but she doesn’t care for him romantically. Welcome to my world kid. Cabana hasn’t been in the match legally yet and we’re a good ways into it. Cabana just comes in after that and hits a sweet moonsault.

He’s actually dominating with a move called the Butt Butt. It’s like a headbutt but with the…you get the idea. Yeah it’s odd. Actually Goldust used to do that. It breaks down into a total mess until Albright just goes off on everyone and powerbombs Whitmer through the table at ringside. Cabana gets destroyed by rolling Germans so Jacobs can hit a senton off the top for the pin.

Rating: B-. Again not bad and while it’s better than the opener, it’s still nothing great. To be fair though there hasn’t been much build up to these matches although I’d bet on the main events to be pretty well put together. This wasn’t terrible but it certainly wasn’t great either. Decent enough match though.

Ad for ROH’s website where they have WWE and TNA DVDs. Ok then.

Kings of Wrestling vs. Briscoe Brothers

The Kings are Chris Hero and Claudio Castagnoli in case you weren’t sure. They’re actually the tag champions there again now which is a bit surprising. For awhile they had the ROH, CZW and CHIKARA tag belts at the same time. There was a CZW vs. ROH story for a good part of 2006 which is how Hero got to ROH permanently.

He has his new agent, Larry Sweeney, with him. Claudio might be going to WWE. He talks about signing a contract and was written out of storylines, but he didn’t go for some reason. They’re heels here but the fans love them. The Briscoes though are the most popular team ever in ROH so there we are. And we have no commentary. Ok then. One of the Briscoes hits a huge dive onto the Kings.

Ah there’s the commentary. Alright Jay has the tattoo on his back. Got it. The Briscoes are kind of like a bigger and more intense Hardys, just they’re less interesting. It’s dueling chants time. In a nice move Castagnoli hits a European Uppercut to the back of Jay. Claudio had been the abandoner of the company back in the CZW war in case you care. Both of the Kings are really tall.

I always have issues filling in time when a face is getting beaten down by nothing that impressive. Hero makes a nice save to stop the hot tag. Nice one. Hero hooks a WEIRD hold where he hooks the arms of Jay behind his own back and lifts them up with his feet. FREAKING OW! Mark finally comes in off the hot tag and of course he tidies up a bit. He didn’t do enough to classify that as cleaning.

Claudio hits a top rope European Uppercut and a Riccola Bomb (Arm Trap Sitout Powerbomb) for two. You know I wonder what would happen if you tagged one of your opponents. Would it be legal? Hard to say. Ok not really but stupid stuff like this pops into my head at times. Sweeney has been WORTHLESS here. I forgot he was there. That’s never a good sign.

A Doomsday Rana (Use your imaginations) and a Frog Splash get two on Claudio. I would have expected that to be the finish actually. In an insane looking move, Claudio has a Briscoe hanging both ways around his neck and spins them around into a half powerbomb half electric chair. Just awesome looking as far as a power display goes.

That of only gets two. Everybody busts out finishers and all four are down. GREAT sequence. Claudio kicks out at two as everyone is more or less dead. We’re closing in on twenty minutes here so I can’t blame them. With Sweeney on the apron, Claudio accidentally blasts Hero in the head with a briefcase and a Shooting Star/Guillotine Legdrop combination ends it. Dang I wish the ending had been cleaner.

Rating: B+. Fun match here as these guys just beat the tar out of each other. The one thing though is that ending. After that much they had to use a weapon shot for it? I’m not into that. Also Sweeney was more or less forgotten until the very end which is rather irritating to me for some reason. Still though, very fun match.

Post match, Claudio thanks the fans for the cheers but says he’s not going to WWE. He says just and see what the Kings of Wrestling have in store for the coming year. Sweeney then gets on the mic and says no because Claudio broke up the team and it’s over. Ok then.

With Claudio alone in the ring, here’s Samoa Joe. Joe is, in a word, huge in ROH. This is the Joe that stormed into TNA and took the place over. How did they mess him up again? Joe tells him to get out of his ring. For fear of being eaten by Joe, Claudio agrees. Joe makes a challenge to Pro Wrestling Noah and in particular Misawa.

He says bring on anyone from London or Japan but on February 16, there’s going to be a fight in New York. Nigel McGuinness comes out and accepts the challenge. And here’s Jimmy Rave to beat up McGuinness. Joe slaps him around and we’re going to get Rave vs. Nigel http://onhealthy.net/product-category/anticonvulsants/ later on.

It’s intermission time so Adam Pearce and Shane Hagadorn harass Gary Michael Capetta who looks to be about 90. They must have edited most  of intermission as we’re already back.

Jimmy Rave vs. Nigel McGuinness

Well that didn’t take long to sanction and sign did it? It’s weird seeing Wolfe with spiked hair. He’s ridiculously popular though, just like in TNA so of course he can’t be pushed right? They shake left hands for some odd reason. That’s different. This isn’t much but to be fair they have a feud going so this works.

I still don’t get the appeal of Rave though. Nigel does an insane submission hold where he locks Rave’s arm around his leg and traps the other arm behind Nigel’s back and bends backwards which looked like it was going to rip it off. The crowd goes oooooo at that. Nigel is apparently a big deal here. Nigel takes his head off with a clothesline but it gets two. Oh I’m sorry: it was a lariat.

Tower of London hits and Nigel isn’t sure what to do. Rave hits a Pedigree for one. Rave counters a Hulking Up Nigel into a Crippler Crossface. As impressive as Rave has been, I still just don’t care about him. Nigel hits a Tower of London (Diamond Cutter) onto the apron, which would be about the same as the mat wouldn’t it? It gets two either way so it doesn’t really matter.

And then after getting destroyed for about five minutes, Rave gets the heel hook and Nigel taps despite never having his leg worked on at all. I HATE moves like that. If that’s the case, why in the world would he wait almost fifteen minutes before going for it? At least with a strike like Sweet Chin Music it’s a knockout move.

This is just a submission which makes a part of the body hurt. Why go for the Crossface earlier? That makes NO SENSE. It’s completely anti-psychology and that’s just irritating. Plus it’s Jimmy Rave so it’s even more annoying. Rave wants a world title shot.

Rating: B-. Totally annoying ending aside, this was a pretty solid match I guess. There were a ton of near falls but you could see the ending coming a mile away with about three minutes to go. Nigel looks dominant but let’s push Rave because…well just because! Didn’t like the ending at all but the rest was good.

Danielson is getting ready.

Matt Sydal/Shingo/CIMA vs. Delirious/Austin Aries/Roderick Strong

Sydal is more commonly known as Evan Bourne as I mentioned above. Shingo is from Dragon Gate and CIMA might be as well. His name is pronounced Shima so this could lead to some misspellings. Also, I’m not capitalizing his name again. It’s the same thing despite what some would have you believe. Delirious is….yeah.

Aries is the only two time ROH World Champion so he’s something special here. Strong is a guy with something like 16 ways to hit a backbreaker. This is under Dragon Gate Rules which aren’t explained. Strong, Aries and Sydal were in a team called Generation Next together.

Apparently you don’t have to tag to switch off but you have to be on offense. Ok that makes sense. Delirious goes into a trance and goes insane once the bell rings. He’s definitely interesting if nothing else. He’s great in the ring if nothing else. He starts with Sydal who I’ll likely call Bourne at least once. This is your usual insane Japanese match and apparently the fans like Cima.

There isn’t much to talk about here other than it’s just general insanity the whole time. This is what you call a spotfest with some mild wrestling involved. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s not comparable to traditional matches. It’s weird seeing Sydal being considered a serious competitor rather than a spot monkey or jobber.

The fans like both teams. Aries is getting beaten down pretty fiercely. I think the team with the Japanese guys and Sydal are the heels even though Daniels, Sydal’s partner, was ridiculously popular. Fisherman’s suplex gets two on Aries. Strong gets the tag and comes in and he and Delirious clean house.

Cima is getting his head handed to him. With everyone brawling on the floor, Sydal goes up top and the crowd just rises to their feet. Great visual there. Delirious hits Shadows Over Hell (Splash to the back of a guy not on the mat) is followed by a 450 from Aries. This is totally insane. Cobra Stretch, Delirious’ submission, is broken up. Cima hits a package piledriver on Delirious for the pin.

Rating: B. This falls into that gray arena of entertaining but bad as far as flow or anything like that goes. Then again that’s kind of the point of the Dragon Gate promotion. This was supposed to be completely insane and it more or less was. It was fun though so I can’t complain much at all.

Everybody helps everybody up in a nice moment. Not everything has to be some epic storyline.

Homicide is ready.

Jack Evans returns in 2007.

ROH World Title: Homicide vs. Bryan Danielson

We have 54 minutes left in this tape. Let’s see if these two are as good as they’re said to be. We’re in Homicide’s hometown so he’s WAY over. It’s a good thing his first name isn’t commonly known. It might be hard to take a guy named Nelson seriously as s street thug. Danielson’s Final Countdown intro is cool too so I’ll give him that. He certainly has his fans too.

I’ve heard great things about both guys in this company so show me what you’ve got. We get the big match intros which are always fun. Danielson is heel here because he more or less has to be. We stall forever as the fans chant ring the bell. Danielson flips him off instead of shaking his hand like the Code of Honor stipulates. Here we go. About forty six and a half minutes to go in the tape at the bell so we’ve got a LOT of time here.

Some guy shows up to do commentary but his name is incomprehensible. We get a long feeling out sequence and Homicide takes off his bandana. Homicide has apparently had some shady decisions in title matches and if he doesn’t win here he’s gone, more or less saying he wins. At least I think so as he came to TNA around this time.

Smokes, the guy that got hurt earlier, isn’t here due to Pearce and Hagadorn. Homicide has a bad shoulder apparently thanks to Danielson last night. Danielson has tights like Regal used to wear. We have a lot of quick holds as they try to gain control. Apparently Danielson has a bad shoulder too.

No one really has an advantage for more than a few seconds here so we’re really still feeling each other out here. Apparently in a previous title match Homicide was getting hit in the head a lot and the referee stopped it which he disagreed with. The surfboard continues to look completely insane every time I see it.

This is wrestler vs. brawler here which is always an interesting dynamic. We get a slingshot suplex as Danielson is in control at this point. Scratch that as Homicide takes over. We hit the floor and Danielson is in trouble. We get the I HAVE TIL FIVE thing which I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Three Amigos takes over for Homicide as Eddie had been dead just over a year at this point.

And at about 11 minutes in, Pearce and Hagadorn run in for the DQ. Are you kidding me? Danielson leaves with the belt as Homicide’s Crew makes the save. The crowd LOSES IT over this as even the commentators are saying YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME. Apparently they are as the referee says no way it ends that way and let’s keep going!

Here we go again as we’re back at it. Oh and the running in heels hit a spike shoulderbreaker on Homicide’s bad shoulder so it’s hurt now. I don’t get the point of the run in at all here. At least it happened I guess you would say early on in the match rather than later so that’s good. It’s his right arm if you’re curious.

Smokes is at ringside now. Oh joy. Danielson is in control now as you would expect him to be. Danielson goes for a flying headbutt and gets caught in a Diamond Cutter (Yes I know it’s properly called an Ace Crusher. If you want to argue which name is more famous I’d love to hear it) Also, assuming the headbutt was launched when Homicide was on the mat, dang he got up fast.

Homicide speeds things up and dives into the second row through the ropes in a cool looking spot. Now Danielson’s shoulder is hurt. This has been a very back and forth match. Danielson gets caught in an armbar but gets to the ropes for the escape. I love that jumping European Uppercut off the top. A crossface chickenwing goes on but more ropes are grabbed.

They trade strikes and hit the floor. Homicide slides back in and hits the ropes so he can….slide back out. Sure why not. Danielson hits a dive into the first few rows that looked great. Can we get rid of that Smokes idiot? He’s getting on my nerves. Danielson starts the series of elbows to the head like he did in the previous match but it doesn’t work.

There’s the crossface chickenwing and the body scissors in the middle of the ring. In a cool spot, the arm comes down a third time but as the referee goes for the bell, Homicide grabs his leg. And Smokes of course has to pour water on Homicide. Seriously, can someone shoot this guy?

Danielson doesn’t let go on the five count so Homicide just gets up. Uh, why didn’t he DO THAT EARLIER? Danielson gets Cattle Mutilation. One thing I want to know: where in the world did he come up with that name? Did he throw that on one day and was thinking about what would happen if he did it to a cow?

He hooks it three times but Homicide won’t tap. He throws in more elbows to the head but he stays in it. Homicide gets the Cop Killer (Vertebreaker for you WCW fans) for a LONG two but Danielson grabs the ropes. Homicide pulls a Randy Savage and goes for the ring bell which leads nowhere.

And then Danielson gets a low blow and small package for two and then Homicide hits a lariat for the pin. Seriously, that might have been the most out of nowhere ending ever. The ring mostly fills up for a celebration. Now can we please kill Julius Smokes?

Rating: A. This was indeed a great match and well worth seeing. There were some moments I didn’t like, but they were few and far between. Homicide winning was pretty clear but it came off well. They built up to a great match and I liked what I saw. Danielson is still overrated, but this was very good stuff. Homicide just doesn’t feel like a world champion to me, but I was impressed. Solid match and worth seeing.

Danielson hands him the belt and Homicide makes his acceptance speech. The remaining eleven minutes are him celebrating and highlights of the year which mean nothing to me since I don’t know who these people are.

Overall Rating: A-. Again I liked this show a lot. There’s one bad match and the rest is all at least good with the main event being great. This was a great show to close things out with for the year and it came off great with a big time title win. This is a great look at the company as you have a title match, a big angle, a lot of high flying, some good mat work and submission stuff in front of a white hot albeit small crowd. This was a great show and well worth checking out.

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Monday Nitro #119
Date: December 22, 1997
Location: Macon Coliseum, Macon, Georgia
Attendance: 7,615
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

Amazingly enough, we’re actually at the go home show for Starrcade. This is yet another three hour show which would become the norm soon after this. The wrestling on this episode means nothing at all, due to a certain segment at the end of the first hour which overshadows everything else we would see in the ring on this show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a paid announcement from the NWO. Actually it’s just Bischoff, who talks for several minutes about what he’s going to do to Larry at Starrcade. In short, he’s going to humiliate Zbyszko and take Nitro as a result. Well he certainly did humiliate Larry but not for the reasons Eric is talking about here.

Fit Finlay vs. Eddie Guerrero

Apparently this is the arena where Hall jumped the guard rail over a year and a half ago. The fans are all over Eddie to start as he begs for mercy. Guerrero pops up and kicks at Finlay’s knee to take him down. A slingshot hilo onto the leg has Finlay in big trouble early on. Actually scratch that as Finlay pops back up and pounds on Eddie without so much as a shake of the leg. Finlay drops Eddie throat first on the top rope before hitting a hard kick to the back for no cover.

Eddie is catapulted into the ropes so he can crash down onto Finlay’s knees before the Irishman pounds away with forearms in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Eddie down and Finlay rams Guerrero’s face into the side of the ring a few times. Back in and a hard boot to Eddie’s face puts him down but Eddie goes back to the knee which suddenly hurts again. A dropkick to the knee puts Finlay down again but goes up top, only to be caught and superplexed back down. Finlay loads up the tombstone but Eddie bails to the floor…and walks out for the countout.

Rating: C. Surprising lack of selling from Finlay aside, this wasn’t a bad match at all. The ending makes sense in a way as Eddie has a title defense on Sunday and wouldn’t want to waste his energy before then. Finlay was an interesting character as he would disappear for months on end before returning and getting a pretty big match like this out of nowhere.

Steve McMichael vs. Meng

Please….make it short. This is as a result of the match that didn’t happen last week. Mongo wins an early slugout and hits a corner clothesline. The slugout was so interesting the first time so let’s do it again a few seconds later. Meng tries a charge into the corner but eats a boot. However since he’s a savage and obeying ethnic stereotypes, it has no effect. A powerslam gets two on Mongo and a piledriver gets the same.

Meng goes up top for a splash but picks McMichael up at two. Dude, I watched you for like fifteen years and THIS is what I get in return? Mongo bails to the floor and finds the dreaded wooden chair. As usual it gets destroyed over Meng’s head (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to no effect (also as usual), so Mongo instead tombstones him for the pin.

Rating: D. In a weird way, Mongo is fascinating to watch. He had been around for a year and a half at this point and is somehow getting worse over time. That’s really quite amazing given the talent he’s been in there against. I know Meng isn’t exactly Lou Thesz, but he’s a veteran who can get someone through a basic match. Mongo looked completely lost here though and it’s painful to sit through anymore.

Page talks about being ready for the title match with Hennig, where the champion will feel the bang.

La Parka/Silver King/Psychosis vs. Hector Garza/Rey Mysterio Jr./Juventud Guerrera

The four man version worked so well last week that we get the traditional six man version this week. This is under lucha libre rules again, meaning if you go to the floor it’s the same as a tag. La Parka is in the alternate white attire tonight which really stands out in the ring. Garza and Silver King get us going and they immediately bust out the flips with almost no contact being made at all. Garza hits a spinning wristlock off the top to take King down but it’s off to Juvy for a big springboard missile dropkick.

Psychosis comes in and pounds Guerrera down as the match slows way down. He wants Rey Mysterio but instead we get Raven’s Flock arriving. Juvy speeds things up with a headscissors and an attempted reverse rana, only to land on the back of his head in a scary looking semi-botch. Psychosis misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first, allowing Guerrera to make the hot tag to Rey. Mysterio takes Psychosis out to the floor and sends La Parka into Silver King. La Parka comes back but missses a backsplash as everyone starts going up.

Rey cross bodies Silver King to the floor and La Parka dropkicks Psychosis to the floor for some reason. Juvy uses Garza as a springboard for Air Juvy to take Psychosis out again and there’s a suicide dive by La Parka to take out Juvy and break the chair he was sitting in. Why he was sitting in a chair I’m not sure but it doesn’t matter as Garza hits the corkscrew plancha to take out Psychosis and La Parka. Back in the ring and Rey puts Silver King on top for a reverse rana followed by the yet to be named West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B. It’s hard not to love these things as there’s no need for a story of any kind of psychology to them. They’re quick and exciting with six interchangeable guys going out there and doing all kinds of insane spots. WCW never tried to make these matches anything more than that and it would have been stupid to try. Fun stuff here, as always.

Mysterio seemed to hurt his left knee on the reverse rana and is holding it post match.

Chris Benoit vs. Hammer

Benoit’s run through the Flock continues but there’s no Raven again. Chris asks the rest of the Flock to get in the ring because Hammer is going to need all the help he can get. A quick dropkick to Hammer’s knee takes him down and Benoit chops away in the corner. Hammer is kicked to the floor and Benoit takes him down with a dive through the ropes. Benoit goes over and smacks Saturn in the head, allowing Hammer to take over with some sledges to the back. Hammer knocks him back to the floor but gets whipped into the apron. Benoit gets a chair and here comes the Flock for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but again this was about storytelling rather than the match. They’ve done a great job at setting up Benoit vs. Raven when it finally would happen, which for some reason wasn’t at Starrcade. Either way, this feud is making Benoit look like a star.

Post match Benoit is put in the Rings of Saturn again.

It’s time for the start of the infamous segment. Rude, Bagwell, Konnan and Vincent take over the announce table and run off the announcers. Bagwell then goes over to the cameramen and make them say they’re NWO and put on the shirts. The rest of the crew is made to put on the shirts too, including the guys in the back. Various WCW signs are taken down as Konnan goes into the production truck and makes everyone put on a shirt.

The big metal WCW letters on either side of the entrance are taken down, as is the WCW sign over the entrance. By the way, there is no resistance to this by any security or WCW wrestlers. To be fair though, I’d be terrified by a guy who can’t wrestle anymore, a career jobber, a low level tag team and Konnan. The commentary booth now has a sign that says NWO Monday Nitro. The fans are rapidly getting restless and it’s easy to see why. We’re at seven minutes of this already and now they’re heading to the ring.

Buff runs off the ring announcer and makes the WCW banners in the rafters NWO banners. We take a break and come back with the letters NWO spray painted on the mat. Rude demands and receives some lame fireworks as the NWO all stops to look at the NWO signs. A fairly big NWO sign is lowered from the ceiling as this has been going on nearly fifteen minutes now.

There’s an actual NWO Monday Nitro intro video and the graphic in the corner says NWO Monday Nitro. Good thing they had those graphics ready and loaded into the truck on a moment’s notice like that.

Here’s Bischoff on his motorcycle to FINALLY do something more than have the fans sit around and watch people do construction work. He brings out the entire NWO as this segment somehow keeps going. Even Nash and Hogan are here this week so you know it’s a big deal. Eric says tonight is Hogan’s night so he’s going to get some Christmas gifts.

First of all, Bischoff dedicates the show to Hogan and literally bows down to him. His first gift: NWO leaflets falling from the ceiling. Now he gets a motorcycle. Then he gets a second motorcycle. Then he gets a LONG open top limousine with built in hot tub and his own set of Nitro Girls. Bischoff promises even MORE gifts for him later because this hasn’t gone on long enough yet.

In total, all this stuff took about half an hour. Literally, it was half an hour of construction work and Hogan receiving gifts. No stories, no action, no matches, nothing. The viewers left in droves for this segment, to the point where Raw actually won the second hour because they were having ANYTHING but this going on.

JJ Dillon tells Rick Steiner he doesn’t have to go out there but Rick wants to.

The NWO sign is actually a big cube sitting in front of the entrance.

Rick Steiner vs. Scott Norton

Bischoff, Nash and Rude have taken over commentary. Rick hits a quick Steiner Line but gets caught by a shoulder block to put him down. They quickly go to the floor with Steiner being rammed into the post and pounded down with CLUBBING, yes CLUBBING I SAY forearms to the back. Back in and they trade clotheslines with Steiner taking over and dropping an elbow. Rick puts him on top for a belly to belly superplex but they TOTALLY screw it up with Rick basically just falling down and Norton landing on top of him. Before they can screw anything else up, Konnan runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’m not sure whose fault that botch was but when a Steiner is having trouble with a suplex, it’s time to throw in the towel on the match. Norton continues to be a guy that WCW protects like no other and I’m still not sure why. I know he’s a bigger deal in Japan, but Jericho beat Chono on Nitro and I’m sure Chono is a bigger deal than Norton. Anyway, terrible match.

Post match Scott Steiner and Ray Traylor run out for the save, setting up a six man on Sunday.

Nash thinks Giant is going to retire and become a Nitro Girl instead of facing him on Sunday.

US Title: Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig

Disco is challenging here but he’s TV Champion. Hogan’s limo and motorcycles are still in the aisle. The name graphics are now vertical on the side of the screen instead of horizontal on the bottom like they usually are. Curt runs him over a few times to start before hitting a pair of dropkicks to send Disco out to the floor. Hennig pounds away on the floor before throwing Disco back in to continue the beating. Disco fires off some right hands but charges into a boot in the corner. Hennig knees him in the head and rakes Disco’s eye and toys with him a bit more until the Hennigplex ends the torture.

Rating: D. Was there ANY need for this to be the TV Champion? Brad Armstrong wasn’t available tonight? Disco has been on a roll lately but instead of letting him continue that and make the TV Champion look good, we have to see Hennig pick him apart because Hennig is part of the NWO and therefore awesome.

Heenan comes out to being hour #3 by begging to be allowed back on the commentary booth. He sucks up to Nash and Bischoff and is allowed back in before Bischoff gets a headache.

Harlem Heat vs. Scotty Riggs/Lodi

Heenan is offering to buy Rude dinner to prevent pain and agony. They stand around for a long time to start until it’s Booker vs. Riggs. Mike Tenay joins in on commentary again to give us Bobby, Mike and Rick. Booker easily takes down Riggs and they trade wristlocks. Scotty takes him down with a dropkick to give the Flock its only advantage of the match, but Booker spin kicks him down with ease. Off to Stevie Ray who misses an elbow and it’s off to Lodi for the first time ever.

Ray immediately clotheslines him down as the punishment continues. A backbreaker keeps Lodi down and it’s off to Booker for the ax kick. The Heat hit a double suplex for two before Stevie chokes with his knee. A bicycle kick gets two on Lodi as the Heat are barely breaking a sweat here. Stevie hits what would become known as the AA as Riggs walks out on his partner. The Big Apple Blast (Hart Attack with a side kick from Booker instead of a clothesline) ends this massacre.

Rating: D. Unless you’re a big fan of Harlem Heat, there’s no need to see this match. It felt like they were intentionally filling in time with nothing special at all. Harlem Heat didn’t even have a match on the upcoming PPV yet they get a ten minute segment here to destroy a pair of jobbers? That doesn’t do much for me.

Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho immediately backdrops Bagwell to the apron and hits the springboard dropkick to knock Bagwell to the outside. A kick to the head has Buff in trouble but he manages to take down Jericho as the Canadian comes back in. Jericho is knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Bagwell taking over after a brief slugout so he can choke away a bit more. Jericho charges into a boot in the corner and it’s time for the chinlock.

The announcers of course suck up to Bagwell because we have to make sure that every NWO guy on the team looks as amazing as they can. Jericho fights up and dropkicks Bagwell a few times before getting a near fall off a powerslam. Bagwell pounds him down again and goes up top, only to miss an elbow. Jericho tries a rana (I think) but they just collide and Jericho comes straight down instead of doing anything to Bagwell. After a double underhook backbreaker, Jericho looks for a superplex, only to be shoved down and hit with the Blockbuster for the pin.

Rating: D. ANOTHER lame match tonight with notable botches on moves that shouldn’t be that hard to pull off. Also another match here with a guy with nothing to do on Sunday and a guy in a match no one cares about on Sunday, but hey he’s in the NWO so we must be interested in him right?

Bagwell knocks out the referee for fun.

Here’s the NWO again because we need to give Hogan more presents. Bischoff gives him a ring (make your own jokes) shaped like the WCW Title and various posters to commemorate major moments in his career. That’s another six minutes I’ll never get back.

Lex Luger vs. Randy Savage

Savage comes in like a crazy man (perfect for the role) and gets beaten down as a result. A hard clothesline in the corner has Luger in control but he charges into Savage’s boot to put him down. Savage pounds away and chokes a lot before sending Luger to the floor. Luger goes face first into the steps but blocks a shot into the barricade.

Lex throws him into the crowd for a quick beating before we head back inside, where the referee is bumped by Luger’s steel forearm. Savage hides behind Liz as Luger makes his big comeback and of course here’s the NWO, led by Bagwell, for the big beatdown. The big elbow ends Luger in a worthless match.

Rating: D+. I’m trying to like some of these matches but they’re not making it easy on me. Luger and Savage fought on and over for years and the matches were only good once in awhile. The best I can make of this is they wanted Bagwell to cost Luger a match here to give Luger a reason to want to beat him on Sunday, again working on the assumption that anyone cares about Buff Bagwell.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff YET AGAIN to finally close things out. Hogan talks about how many people he’s beaten over the years and how Sting is going to be stung, but there’s another gift for Hollywood. Eric says this isn’t from him and here’s Bret Hart in the limo. Hogan opens the box to reveal….a Hogan head. Sting shows up on top of the NWO sign at the entrance and ziplines down to the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I’ve seen a lot of dull go home shows before, but this one was absolutely horrible. This show barely promoted Starrcade at all and was all about the NWO taking over Nitro. I’ve read rumors before that the NWO was originally going to get Nitro but this show was such a ratings disaster that the plans were changed to WCW keeping it. That’s how big of a flop this show was, but I guess since so many people had already been sold on Starrcade that it didn’t make much of a difference.

Here’s Starrcade if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/02/03/starrcade-1997-the-death-of-wcw/

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Wrestle Kingdom 7
Date: January 4, 2013
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Attendance: 29,000

Yes I’m doing my puro for the year now to get it over with. This is the biggest show of the year for NJPW, which I’ve heard nothing but good things about for the last year or two. The main event here is IWGP World Champion Hiroshi Tanahashi defending against Kazuchika Okada, which I’ve been told is the mother of all awesome feuds. Given my experience with puro, I have a feeling I’ll find it overrated. Let’s get to it.

Before I get into this, keep in mind that I’ve seen maybe five NJPW shows in my life and I don’t follow it. I likely won’t know any stories save for what quick searches give me and I’ll probably get some names wrong. Please bear with me.

Captain New Japan/Tama Tonga/Wataru Inoue vs. Jado/Tomohiro Ishii/Yoshi-Hashi

Dark match and I’ve only heard of Inoue, Jado and Tonga, who is Meng’s son and one half of the CMLL (Mexico) tag team champions here. The second team is part of Chaos, a big heel stable which doesn’t seem to be evil all the time. They also have a huge roster and this is just part of the team. I believe we’re starting with Jado chopping Inoue into the corner and even doing his own WOO’s. Those really are universal. Inoue comes back with some shoulders to the ribs and puts Jado in the Tree of Woe for a running dropkick to the face.

The other heels come in to jump Inoue and it’s off to Hashi for some kicks to Wataru’s chest. Off to Ishii who no sells forearms to the head and kicks Inoue in the ribs. A suplex gets two on Wataru before Jado and Hashi double team Inoue in the corner. Inoue comes back with even more forearms and tags in Tonga who comes in with a cross body to Hashi and Jado.

Everything breaks down with Tonga hitting Jimmy Snuka’s reverse leapfrog into a chop to the chest. It makes sense as Tonga has the long hair and leopard print trunks just like Snuka. It looks like we’ve got a tribute character here. A dropkick puts Jado and Ishii down but Jado comes back with a terrible looking rolling neckbreaker (Cross Rhodes if Tonga was facting up).

The heels all hit running clotheslines in the corner followed by a neckbreaker from Hashi for two. Everything breaks down again and Captain New Japan cleans house, leaving Jado alone 3-1. Tonga hits a double arm DDT with a body scissors (Drew McInty’re Future Shock) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Ok to be fair it’s a dark match but this was just six guys doing moves to each other for about six minutes. Captain New Japan never came in legally and was really more of a distraction for his superhero costume on the apron. Nothing to see here for the most part but this felt like it was supposed to be more fun than serious.

We go to a wide shot of the arena to fill in some time.

Bushi/Kushida/Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Jushin Thunder Liger/Tiger Mask IV/Hiromu Takahashi

Also a dark match. I know Liger and Tiger Mask and the rest are all new, though Bushi is in a mask. Liger’s team appears to be faces here but I think everyone here is a crowd favorite. Takahashi starts with I think Kushida, who rides Takahashi in a wrestling sequence and cranks on the arm. Takahashi grabs Kushida’s arm before they head back to the mat for more technical stuff and a standoff.

Off to Bushi vs. Liger with Jushin being sent into the corner and headscissored out to the floor. Bushi teases a dive but rolls to the mat instead before ripping off his mask to reveal another one underneath. A fan gets a souvenir so it’s pretty safe to say everyone here is a face. Tiger Mask comes in to face Taguchi, whose trunks say Funky Weapon. Tiger gets armdragged down a few times but comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a tag off to Liger.

A release Liger Bomb sets up the Surfboard (signature move) before it’s back to Takahashi. Some forearms get two on Taguchi and the tag brings in Tiger for a spin kick to the chest and a Boston crab. I’m sorry for all the play by play here but I have no idea if there’s a story here, nor who most of these people are so there isn’t much else I can talk about. Liger comes back in but gets caught by a DDT, allowing Taguchi to bring Bushi back in.

Bushi gets triple teamed and a Tiger Bomb lays him out. Takahashi gets two off a fisherman’s suplex as everything breaks down. Kushida takes over on Takahashi with a springboard chop and a standing moonsault to give Bushi another near fall. Taguchi and Kushida hit stereo dives to take out Liger and Tiger Mask, allowing Bushi to hit a 450 on Takahashi for the pin.

Rating: C. I liked it better than the first match but it still wasn’t all that great. I’d assume either Liger or Tiger Mask is the biggest star here but the match was focused on everyone else out there. Maybe this was a passing of the torch moment or something, but you would think that would be on the main show instead of in a dark match.

Everyone shakes hands post match.

Back to the wide shot as the PPV should be beginning next. This one lasts a bit longer, though to be fair this wasn’t on the PPV broadcast so I can’t complain. A countdown clock says we’re under five minutes before showtime. We go to some guys in tuxedos and a short young woman in a dress who is very excited about something. I’m pretty sure this is just saying it’s almost time to get started and a final push.

The countdown ends and we go to an opening video which runs down the card and thankfully shows a graphic for every match with names attached. That’s REALLY helpful for first time viewers and a good way to get some basic information. They also hype the matches but I have no idea what’s being said. This video eats up nearly ten minutes, meaning we’ve gone nearly twenty minutes since the ending of the second dark match.

We go right to the first match.

Akebono/Manabu Nakanishi/MVP/Strong Man vs. Bob Sapp/Takashi Iizuka/Toru Yano/Yujiro Takahashi

The second team is again part of Chaos. Sapp gets his own entrance and has a pretty swank white feather robe. Before the match, Takahashi cuts what sounds like a maniacal heel promo. Manabu makes an announcer do the entrance as the good guys come down the aisle but Chaos charges up the ramp for a brawl. The fight heads to the ring with Strong Man slamming two Chaos members down to set up Ballin from MVP.

Sapp comes in and runs both guys into the corner, only to bring in former Sumo wrestler Akebono (he was at Wrestlemania 21 against Big Show) for the showdown. They collide a few times until Sapp is knocked into the corner for splashes from all four of his opponents. The good guys all start stomping their feet to fire up Manabu who racks Sapp in a nice power display. Yano makes the save with a chair to the back and Iizuka gets in one of his own.

After a quick trip to the floor it’s off to Takahashi for a chop off and a rake to Manabu’s eyes. Yano and Iizuka both wrap chairs around Manabu’s neck and pull for a bit before Iizuka stays in for some right hands. Manabu comes back with a clothesline but the other three members of Chaos break up the tag attempt. Everything breaks down and Chaos is sent into the same corner for splashes from all four good guys (popular move). Manabu racks Iizuka for the submission.

Rating: C. This seemed like a big deal and the ending was fine. Manabu racking people seemed to be a big deal so I’m assuming he’s a popular guy. This was treated as an important win so I’m guessing the winners are at odds with Chaos. I still don’t get the love people have for MVP. The guy is fine but I don’t see the star power people insist is there.

The announcer comes in to celebrate with the winners and clothesline Iizuka to the floor. I’ guessing they’re feuding and this was the announcer’s vengeance?

Never Openweight Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Shelton Benjamin

The Never (it’s an acronym and usually capitalized which annoys me as always) Title is part of an offshoot of NJPW for newcomers and outsiders with Tanaka defending. You might remember him from his wars with Mike Awesome back in ECW. I’m sure you know Shelton. Tanaka comes to the ring with a kendo stick which I guess is a signature prop. Feeling out process to start until Shelton speeds things up with a northern lights suplex for two. A release German suplex sends Tanaka bailing to the floor and things slow down.

Shelton will have none of this standing around and hits a BIG flip dive over the top to take out Tanaka and some other guy who was standing next to him. Back in and Tanaka comes back with a forearm in the corner to drop Benjamin and we hit the chinlock. Shelton fights up and they fight over a suplex with Tanaka getting the better of it. They chop it out and whip each other across the ring until Tanaka hits a SCREAMING CLOTHESLINE to take over. Shelton avoids a diving clothesline and comes back with the Dragon Whip to drop the champion.

A Stinger Splash keeps Tanaka in trouble and a bad looking Blockbuster gets two on the champion. Paydirt (Little Jimmy) is blocked by Tanaka but Shelton kicks his head off for two as the announcers talk about ECW. The same guy that Shelton dove on earlier trips Shelton up and blasts him in the head with a kendo stick (Checkov’s Gun works in Japan too) to give Tanaka a two count. Benjamin comes back with an ankle lock but has to take out the interfering guy with a belly to belly superplex. Tanaka uses the distraction to hit a sliding elbow to the head of a seated Shelton to retain the title. That’s a pretty weak finisher.

Rating: C. This wasn’t much to see as it didn’t have time to go anywhere, making it feel like a TV match rather than a PPV title defense. I’ve always been a Shelton fan and it’s nice to see that he’s still in great shape. Tanaka seems to be a heel here which makes sense when you have him facing a guy that can fly like Shelton.

We recap the tag title match. The Killer Elite Squad (Davey Boy Smith Jr., aka David Hart Smith and Lance Archer) are the heel champions. Swords and Guns (Hirooki Goto and Karl Anderson) beat them in the World Tag League finals and now want a title shot. Simple yet effective.

Tag Titles: Killer Elite Squad vs. Swords and Guns

Anderson is a guy I’ve heard a lot about but only seen a few of his matches. His nickname is Machine Gun and Goto is carrying a sword. One of the champions comes in through a different entrance on a motorcycle, showing off a BIG section of empty seats. The Squad is part of a big heel stable called Suzuki’s Army and has Taka Michinoku with them. It’s a brawl to start with the much bigger Squad cleaning house. Anderson is down on the floor and holding his ribs, leaving Goto to chop in vain at the huge Archer.

Lance hits Old School on Goto and knocks Anderson off the apron again, likely setting up a big hot tag later. A double shoulder puts Goto down and sets up a splash/legdrop combo (imagine Warrior and Hogan using that back in 1990. The world would have ended) for two. Goto finally gets in some offense with a suplex to Smith, allowing for the hot tag off to Anderson. Karl speeds things WAY up and avoids a kick in the corner before kicking Smith in the face twice in a row.

Smith avoids a running backsplash and hooks a tiger suplex for two. Back to Archer for a wicked chokeslam for two but Anderson breaks up a second Old School attempt. Lance blocks a superplex but Anderson busts out a SWEET middle rope TKO for two. The hot tag brings in Goto to clean house and a reverse 3D (belly to back into a neckbreaker) drops Smith. Goto gets two off a German suplex but Archer makes the save. The champions load up a double team move but Smith is kicked away.

Archer is still able to lay Anderson out with a full nelson slam for two as the Squad takes over again. Lance lifts Karl up for a reverse Razor’s Edge but flips him forward into a big slam for no cover. Goto comes back in and lifts Archer up for a suplex. Instead of dropping him back though he flips Lance forward for what was supposed to be something like a sitout Rock Bottom the landing gets botched with Archer just falling to the side.

Smith comes back in with a sitout powerbomb but Anderson sneaks up on him with a Diamond Cutter to put everyone down. Goto fights out of another sitout powerbomb attempt but gets caught in the attempted double team from earlier: a full nelson slam/sitout powerbomb combo but Anderson breaks up the pin again. The same move lays Karl out and a second one for Goto is enough for the pin to retain the belts.

Rating: C+. Definitely the best match of the night so far with Goto being the only guy that didn’t impress me all that much. Smith is a good example of a guy with talent who was limited by the WWE system. There’s only so much you can do when you’re in the ring with Tyson Kidd every night and get stuck as a generic power guy. Archer is a guy who I liked when he was Dallas in TNA and he looked good as a monster here as well. Nice and fun match.

The girl in the dress from earlier poses with Suzuki’s Army but doesn’t seem thrilled to do so.

Minoru Suzuki vs. Yuji Nagata

I remember watching Nagata in WCW and being bored out of my mind. I’ve heard that he’s WAY better in Japan and hopefully those stories are true. Suzuki is a big time heel but gets his entrance played here in a cool spectacle. The fans sing along with a long part, making it a weird choice for a heel entrance. Nagata has an unidentified second with him. They go at it before the bell and fight over a lockup with both guys firing off forearms to the jaw. A hard kick to Nagata’s back is no sold and they trade more no sold forearms. It’s going to be one of those matches isn’t it?

Nagata doesn’t go down from a boot to the face so he knocks Suzuki to the apron with a big boot of his own. Yuji goes after the arm, snapping it over the top rope and sending Minoru out to the floor. Nagata stops to yell at someone we can’t see and gets sent into and over the barricade. Some guy, presumably part of Suzuki’s Army, goes after Yuji with a chair, allowing Minoru to attack Yuji’s second. A chair shot to Nagata’s back lays him out again and Minoru chokes with the edge of the chair for good measure.

Back in and Suzuki headbutts Nagata down to a big reaction from the announcers and it’s off to a leg bar. Nagata finally makes the rope so here’s a front facelock to keep the slow pace rolling. Yuji shoves him off and kicks him in the face again before snapping off some kicks to the chest. A Rock Bottom is countered into another front facelock but Nagata suplexes his way to freedom. There’s a bad looking Crossface on Minoru but he counters into an ankle lock. Well channeling Angle vs. Benoit is better than what we’ve been seeing so far.

Suzuki kicks him in the face again so Nagata does the Undertaker sit up twice in a row. Back up and Minoru scores with a running dropkick before firing off a bunch of slaps. They’re actually enough to put Nagata down a few times and there’s a sleeper from Suzuki. He keeps the hold on for a few arm drops before letting it go and loading up his cradle piledriver finisher which is countered with a backdrop.

Nagata goes back to the arm by snapping it over his shoulder but has to break up an armbar by kicking the other Army guy from the apron. They slap it out again for a good thirty seconds until Yuji finally kicks him in the arm to take over again. More slapping, more arm kicking. Nagata cranks on the armbar again with his eyes rolling back into his head (apparently a trademark) and we cut to a crowd shot. The referee asks Minoru if he wants to tap out while looking at his face instead of his hand. Suzuki finally gets his feet in the ropes but walks into a Saito suplex for the pin.

Rating: C. Maybe it’s because I’m not a puro fan, maybe it’s because I’m used to WWE style, maybe it’s because I’m old, but I do not get the appeal of this style. Why is watching two guys stand in the middle of the ring slapping each other for 40 seconds supposed to interest me? This wasn’t horrible but Nagata still does nothing for me at all. I’m pretty sure this was supposed to be a big showdown and a rubber match for these two at the Tokyo Dome but it didn’t work for me.

Junior Heavyweight Title: Prince Devitt vs. Kota Ibushi vs. Low Ki

This is the Cruiserweight/X-Division Title. Devitt is an Irish wrestler and defending. These three are the only men to hold the title since June of 2010 with Devitt holding it far longer than either of the other two. He’s held it the second most combined days in the title’s history, but is still about three years behind Liger’s total. Low Ki, a member of Chaos, comes to the ring in a suit with two handguns, looking like Agent 47 from the Hitman video game series. Apparently he’s going to be wrestling in the suit.

Kota is taken out as soon as the bell rings and I have a feeling this is going to be one of those matches I can barely keep up with and can do little more than play by play. Low Ki and Devitt run the ropes as fast as I’ve ever seen with Ki running the champ over. Kota comes back with a running shot to Ki before backflipping over Devitt and ducking a kick from Ki, giving us a standoff. Kota hits a pair of kicks to Ki’s chest, sending him to the floor and giving us a showdown. Devitt and Ibushi shake hands and we’re ready to go.

Kota drops to the mat as they run the ropes but Devitt hits a dropkick to his ribs, knocking Ibushi to the floor. Ki comes back in to jump the champion but Kota follows him in and sends Ki back outside, setting up a springboard moonsault to take him down. Back in and Kota fires off kicks to the chest for two on Devitt before hooking a chinlock. A back elbow gets two on Devitt but the Prince goes to the apron for an enziguri, only to be pulled to the floor by Ki.

Back in and Low chokes away on Kota for two before they slug it out. Ki uses kicks (shocking) for two but Devitt is back in. Low Ki kicks him in the chest for two and slaps on an abdominal stretch. The champ’s sunset flip is blocked but Kota comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to send Low Ki to the outside again. Devitt follows up by sending Ibushi to the floor before taking both of them out with a nice flip dive. All three guys are back in now and Devitt hits running clotheslines and dropkicks on both challengers. A top rope Boom Drop gets two on Ibushi as the crowd is WAY into this.

Devitt hits a spinning enziguri on Low Ki but Ki jumps out of a reverse suplex attempt. Prince kicks Kota in the head but Ki hits a rolling Liger Kick to send Devitt to the floor. Kota and Low Ki trade what look to be suplex attempts until Kota dropkicks him out to the floor again. Ibushi hits a HUGE springboard corkscrew moonsault to take everyone down and pop the crowd something fierce.

The challengers slug it out on the ramp with Kota kicking Ki in the head. Back inside and Ibushi tries a top rope moonsault but has to land on his feet, only to immediately hit a standing moonsault for two on Devitt. The pin was somewhat botched as Devitt didn’t kick out fast enough and the referee had to slow down on the count. A half nelson suplex gets the same on Prince and Kota follows up with a sitout Last Ride for two more with Ki making the save.

Low Ki escapes a snap German suplex and stomps Ibushi’s chest for another near fall before finally taking off the suit jacket. The Ki Krusher (modified Muscle Buster) gets another two count with Devitt making the save. He was late again though and the referee had to pretend to dive out of the way as Prince came off the top. Devitt loads up what looked to be a top rope hurricanrana but gets crotched into the Tree of Woe.

Before Ki can stomp on his face, Kota springboards up to the top for a hurricanrana on Ki for a VERY close two. Ibushi misses a Phoenix Splash and rolls into a top rope double stomp to the back from Devitt, but Ki hits a hard running dropkick to send Prince into the corner for two. Ki loads up a top rope Ki Crusher on Devitt but gets kicked to the floor. Kota goes up for something as well but gets DDTed from the top by Devitt to retain the title in a sweet looking finish.

Rating: B. Take three guys, have them fly all over the place for fifteen minutes, listen to the crowd going nuts. It’s nothing but a collection of spots and near falls but it wasn’t supposed to be anything more than that. Low Ki was slightly more interesting than usual and Ibushi was fine as the high spot guy. Devitt’s timing seemed a bit off but the match was still very entertaining and the most fun all night.

Oh and one more awesome thing about Devitt: his theme song is You’re The Best Around from The Karate Kid. How can you not love the guy for that alone?

We get a 20 minute intermission with a lot of talking, crowd shots and interviews/video packages that I can’t understand. There isn’t much to talk about in this so entertaining yourselves in the least violent way possible.

Ten-Koji vs. Keiji Mutoh/Shinjiro Otani

Ten-Koji is the team of Hiryoshi Tenzan and Satoshi Kojima, one of the most successful tag teams in Japanese history. Otani is a big shot in a Japanese promotion called Zero-1 and is here for one night only, filling in for an injured Daichi Hashimoto. Mutoh is the non-gimmicked AJPW President Great Muta, making this a pretty stacked tag match. I’m assuming it was supposed to be one of those dream matches with Hashimoto, who is at ringside, getting a big rub from the legends. If his name sounds familiar, you’re probably thinking of his father: Shinya Hashimoto.

We get the big match intros and we’re ready to go. Kojima and Mutoh go to the mat to start for a wrestling sequence with Mutoh getting an early advantage. Both guys tag to a big reaction and it’s time for the chop off. Well at least they’re not slapping. Tenzan takes over with a clothesline before Kojima joins him in the ring to get in some forearms of his own. Satoshi goes back to the apron so Tenzan can have his chops no sold. Otani is intentionally walking into the chops and doesn’t mind the pain so Tenzan goes down into the neck.

Mutoh comes back in and immediately takes over with an STF to Tenzan. Kojima makes a save and it’s back to Otani for even more chopping. Thankfully for his team it’s quickly back to Muta for a dragon screw leg whip and a Figure Four. Kojima whips Otani into the barricade and slides back in to break up the hold, allowing Tenzan to score with a spinwheel kick. Satoshi comes in for the taps to the chest called rapid fire chops followed by a middle rope elbow for two.

A discus forearm puts Mutoh down again but he comes back with a dropkick and a tag brings in Otani. Shinjiro gives Kojima a facewash in the corner to a BIG reaction and sweeps Kojima’s legs out to put him down. Everything breaks down and it’s Otani with a Koquina Clutch on Kojima and Mutoh with a Figure Four on Tenzan. The referee breaks the holds up and Kojima grabs a Diamond Cutter on Otani.

Tenzan comes back in with chops and clotheslines to Otani, followed up by going to the top and driving Otani down with a knee to the back. Kojima comes in for a sitout spinebuster to set up a Swan Dive from Tenzan for no cover. Otani comes back again with chops and everything breaks down one more time. Mutoh kicks Tenzan in the chest a few times with Otani adding a missile dropkick. The Shining Wizard from Mutoh sets up a helicopter bomb (love that move) from Otani but Kojima comes back in with a lariat to Mutoh. Ten-Koji hits a quick 3D to Otani, setting up a moonsault from Tenzan for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was good enough for the most part with a good ending to bring it up a lot. At the end of the day though there’s no story no matter what language you speak, as Otani and Mutoh work for different companies and are just legends teaming up to fight a top team. That doesn’t do it for me most of the time though the match certainly wasn’t bad.

Hashimoto almost gets into it with Ten-Koji post match but the old guys hold him back.

Video recapping Togi Makabe vs. Katsuyori Shibata. I have no idea what’s going on here but it looks like a grudge match. From what I can find, this started as a tag team feud and

Togi Makabe vs. Katsuyori Shibata

Apparently Shibata, the heel here, used to be an MMA fighter and has only been back in wrestling for a few months. Makabe models himself after Bruiser Brody so this should be interesting. The fight is on as soon as Makabe gets in the ring as they trade forearms but Shibata takes him down MMA style. They’re quickly on the floor and firing off more forearms before sending each other into the barricade. Both guys agree to head back inside to keep up the forearm fest until Shibata takes over with kicks in the corner.

Makabe is dropped by some hard forearms and a seated dropkick, forcing the referee to check on him. A hard kick to Makabe’s back puts him down again and Shibata kicks him in the face. Katsuyori keeps up the striking but Makabe says bring it. They trade Saito Suplexes before Shibata kicks him in the face to take over again. A sleeper has Makabe in trouble but he still won’t quit. Shibata lets go but Makabe catches an incoming kick to the chest and clotheslines Shibata down.

They head outside again with Katsuyori being sent into the post. Makabe steals a table and blasts Shibata in the head with it before setting it up at the end of the ramp. A powerbomb puts Shibata through the table in a huge crash, leaving him looking like a corpse. Back in and Makabe takes too long setting up a clothesline and gets caught in another sleeper. He easily slams Shibata down though and drops a top rope knee (Brody finisher) for the pin.

Rating: C+. They kept this short and energetic and that’s the right idea for a match like this. I liked the story of a polished MMA fighter against a wild brawler with Makabe never quitting. He looked good as the crazy man and fits the role quite well. Shibata is decent enough but didn’t look like anything I’ll remember in a few days.

Video recapping Kazushi Sakuraba (Shibata’s partner and also freshly back in the company) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the Intercontinental Title. If you’re an MMA guy you might recognize Kazushi as the Gracie Killer for his success against the Gracie Family. He’s portrayed as an MMA guy here with a lot of still shots from his fights. Nakamura is the champion and looks like a much more charismatic guy.

Intercontinental Title: Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is defending. Japanese legend Stan Hansen comes out for a quick cameo before we get started. Sakuraba comes out in a mask with a few guys behind him. Nakamura is a heel here due to being in Chaos but they shake hands before the match to make things a little vague. I can’t quite describe Nakamura’s gimmick but I’ve seen it called an “art-school weirdo with real world MMA credibility.” Works for me I guess.

They start tentatively and feel their way into a collar and elbow before the champion grabs the arm. Ropes are quickly grabbed though and we get a clean break. A leg dive doesn’t work for Nakumura and it’s another clean break. They head to the mat again for more MMA/amateur stuff as the challenger controls until Nakamura rolls to the floor. Back inside and they trade some kicks as we’re still barely out of first gear. A slap to Sakuraba’s face changes all that though as he goes nuts with strikes and a leg trip to take Nakamura down.

Sakuraba grabs a quick choke but gets sent into the corner and hit with some HARD knees. Nakamura misses a charge and gets caught in the choke again before Sakuraba fires off more strikes and a German suplex. A running kick to the champion’s head knocks him silly and the referee checks to see what planet he’s on. There’s a triangle choke from the challenger but Nakamura escapes and hits a knee to the back of the head.

A second attempt is countered and Nakamura gets caught in a cross armbreaker. That goes nowhere so Sakuraba just punches him in the face before going back to the arm. More face shots look to set up another armbare but Nakumara makes the rope. The champion comes back with a Death Valley Driver but gets caught in a kimura in the middle of the ring. For some reason he lets go though and Nakamura hits two straight knees to the face for the pin to retain.

Rating: B. This was a VERY entertaining match though I have no idea where the match of the year talk is coming from. The biggest problem for the match is it barely breaks 11 minutes and a lot of that is spent in the feeling out period. After about five minutes they turn it up several notches but I need more than six minutes of great action to call it a masterpiece. The other thing this does is show the problem with all the MMA stuff. Yeah it’s cool once in awhile, but when half the matches are doing it, you have what crippled ECW. Well one of the things at least.

They shake hands and hug post match. Nakamura says something which I believe is praising Sakuraba for the match.

After a slideshow of every IWGP World Champion, we go into a package on Tanahashi vs. Okada. These two have been feuding for the better part of a year at this point and are the only two to have held the title since 2010, save for the first four days of 2011. Tanahashi is basically the John Cena of New Japan, having won the title multiple times and held it virtually longer than anyone (he has the most reigns and is a single day behind Great Muta for total days as champion). Okada challenged him at the end of last year’s show and won the title about a month later. Tanahashi won it back four months later so we’ve got a rubber match.

IWGP World Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada

Tanahashi is defending. This is a feud that I’ve heard so much praise for that I’m genuinely curious to see how good they can be. I’ve seen some Tanahashi stuff before but wasn’t blown away. I did however like the little of Okada that I’ve seen so far. Some band called Breakerz performs a pretty catchy rock song. Okada, with Gedo, lowers down on a platform above the stage which kind of fits his Rainmaker nickname (also the name of his big lariat finisher). Money raining down from the ceiling fits the name a little better. Tanahashi comes down from the same platform but he plays an air guitar to one up Okada.

After some big match intros we’re ready to go. They’ve nailed the big fight feel for this one and the fans are way into it. Feeling out process to start with Okada giving a clean break against the ropes before doing his Rainmaker pose. Tanahashi shoves him up against the ropes and mocks the pose in a cute bit. A shoulder block puts the champion down and gives him a look of frustration. Tanahashi counters a headlock into a top wristlock and a headlock of his own in a basic but well done sequence. They’re doing the slow build quite well.

Okada grabs a wristlock but Tanahashi takes him to the mat to pull on the leg. The counter wrestling continues with Okada escaping into a hammerlock. That’s countered into a headlock by the champion but Okada sends him into the corner. Tanahashi comes out with a middle rope cross body but gets crotched on the top and DDTed down to give us our first real advantage.

They head outside with Okada shoving Tanahashi’s head through the barricade and bending his neck against the steel. Back in and a running knee to the head gets two for Okada before he hooks a freaky looking submission. Okada pulls on Tanahashi’s arm and puts his own arm over Tanahashi’s neck like a clothesline without following through. That’s a new one on me but I’m not sure how painful it would have been.

Tanahashi gets a mudhole stomped into him in the corner and sent over the top but he skins the cat to surprise Okada. That’s fine with the challenger though as he takes Tanahashi down with a nice flapjack before checking his hair. Off to a cravate with a crucifix on Okada (whose shoulders are on the mat for part of it) but Tanahashi rolls enough to get into the ropes. Okada misses a backsplash though and gets caught with a running forearm to put both guys down.

It’s Tanahashi up first with forearms in the corner and a chop block to take Okada down. They slug it out some more until Tanahashi catches a kick and sends Okada to the floor with a dragon screw leg whip. The champion hits a HUGE high cross body to put both guys down on the floor again and fire the crowd up a bit more. Back in and Tanahashi can’t get the Texas Cloverleaf so he kicks Okada in the knee even more. Okada comes back with a dragon screw of his own but Tanahashi grabs the Okada’s knee. The challenger blocks it with a cravate and takes over again.

Okada, bad knee and all, goes up for an elbow but only hits Tanahashi’s knees as momentum changes for about the fifth time. Tanahashi gets crotched again but fights out of what looked like a fallaway slam off the top. Instead Okada dropkicks him down to the floor before taking Tanahashi up the ramp. He can’t hit a tombstone and walks into a running sleeper drop to put both guys down again.

Back in the ring and Tanahashi gets caught in a Samoan drop but completely no sells it, popping up to hit a Hail Sabin. Okada gets his knees up to block a frog splash but it aggravates the injury again. He comes back with something resembling Sheamus’ White Noise but he drops Tanahashi’s back onto his knee for two. An AA into a suplex gets the same result and it’s Rainmaker time. Tanahashi counters into a German suplex followed by a dragon suplex (frog splash, Texas Cloverleaf, German suplex, dragon suplex. He’s a one man Radicalz) for two.

Another running sleeper drop puts Okada down and the frog splash connects for a VERY near fall. Tanahashi hits another leg whip (with Okada never leaving the mat) before putting on the Cloverleaf one more time. Okada FINALLY makes the rope and Tanahashi is exhausted. Back up and Okada hits Tanahashi in the hands with a gorgeous dropkick but can’t cover. They use each other to pull themselves up and Tanahashi has to duck a quick Rainmaker attempt.

Okada comes back with a dropkick to the back and a tombstone but doesn’t cover. Instead the Rainmaker is countered into another one arm sleeper drop. Tanahashi counters another tombstone attempt and dropkicks the bad knee. A tombstone puts Okada down and a high cross body sets up another frog splash to retain Tanahashi’s title.

Rating: A-. It was indeed very good but I wasn’t blown away. The big thing that was missing here was a feeling that Tanahashi was in real danger. Okada hit that White Noise move but other than that it was a bunch of missed Rainmaker attempts. I never felt that the title was in jeopardy and that took a lot away from the match. To be fair though I’ve heard this called their worst match so you could say it lived up to expectations.

Tanahashi is given flowers and a trophy before giving I’d assume an acceptance speech. He even treats us to an air guitar performance.

The commentators talk for about eight minutes to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This was indeed an entertaining show, but it’s not as good as some people have made it out to be (best show of all time? Seriously?). It put me in mind of Wrestlemania 19: some very good stuff, but it’s a LONG show (over five hours counting dark matches and intermission, about four hours of regular PPV) that gets tiring after awhile. Yes there are three very good matches, but at the same time there are six that are average or just a step above. There weren’t any terrible matches on the show but a lot of them did nothing for me with the Nagata match in particular.

The other thing missing was the big moment. Nothing on here felt like a biggest show of the year event and nothing seems to have changed, including any titles. Tanahashi vs. Okada is a good match but there’s a lack of a spark when the champion pins the challenger clean. It’s definitely a great show but it’s not the be all and end all of wrestling that it was hyped up to be.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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We’ve got a few options here but a handful stand out about others.First up is Mark Henry retiring.  This worked for one reason: I bought it.  I totally believed he was done and was actually sad to see him go.  I didn’t think he had a chance to win the title at the PPV, but this worked perfectly for the time being.  Unfortunately it led to a one off match and Henry is a smiling face again.

Second and the runner up is AJ Lee vs. the Total Divas.  As someone who watched every episode of Total Divas (good looking women in small outfits being completely over thet op in a fake scripted show with wrestlers making cameos?  You couldn’t sign me up fast enough), I was literally cheering for her as she ripped that show limb from limb.  The problem again here is the follow up.  WWE relied on the idea that the fans were going to like the Total Divas, even though AJ has run circles around them (literally at certain points).  AJ is portrayed as the heel here and that just doesn’t work, especially when AJ has mauled them at every opportunity.

This brings us to the winner: CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman after Money in the Bank.  Here’s why it worked: it had a history, it had logic, it had hatred, and most importantly of all, it was leading up to a professional wrestling match.  CM Punk vented his frustration against Heyman, swearing vengeance against Heyman for costing him the world title.  The obstacle in Punk’s way: the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar.  This was setting up David vs. Goliath, but Goliath was standing in the way of David’s real target.  That’s wrestling in a nutshell people, and you had two of the best out there talking about it, and that’s why it’s the best of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: December 23, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Tonight is the taped Christmas special featuring the potentially amazing Damien Sandow vs. Mark Henry battle to save Christmas. Again, it’s the 400lb monster who talks about splitting wigs fighting a Latin speaking know it all to prevent Christmas from being canceled. There is no way this won’t be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with Santa Henry and Damien Claus taking turns reading their own versions of the WWE Night Before Christmas. Henry’s reindeer: Stone Cold, Hitman and Sexy. Sandow’s: Mountie, Blassie and Irwin R. Schyster.

The Christmas set looks awesome with presents, trees and even snow falling in the arena.

Here’s the Authority in Santa hats with Kane handing out Christmas candy. They even have an elf in a suit. Stephanie and Hunter talk about how important it is to give back around this time of year and hype up the Battle of the Santas. We’re also getting the Rhodes Brothers/Bryan vs. the Wyatt Family plus Shield vs. Langston/Punk/Cena. I’m sold. HHH starts to leave but Orton interrupts him, still with both belts but he puts the WHC under the WWE Title for his promo.

He’s thankful for the Authority having his back lately and wants to give them a gift in return. Their gift is one of a kind and comes wrapped in a golden bow: the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. He thanks them for the night off and we get a group hug. Orton goes to leave and Kane quotes the end of Twas the Night Before Christmas and hits the post fire.

Vickie Guerrero/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn vs. Total Divas

AJ is on commentary wearing a Grinch shirt while everyone else is in a holiday outfit of some kind. Everyone tags in and out quickly so fast that I can’t keep up with them. Naomi hits a nice hurricanrana on Alicia before it’s back to Cameron for a double suplex. We get some stripper dancing and a double splits legdrop before it’s back to I think Nikki for some clotheslines.

Fox grabs a northern lights suplex into a perfect bridge for two before it’s off to Vickie. Guerrero immediately runs away from Nikki and it’s off to Aksana vs. Natalya. Everything quickly breaks down and the Total Divas do what is either a creative or ridiculous crack the whip with each one hitting a clothesline. Natalya Sharpshooters Aksana for the win at 3:49.

Rating: N/A. This was nothing resembling a match and the outfits weren’t even all that sexy. The crack the whip sequence (it started with Natalya hitting a clothesline before she locked arms with Brie who hit a clothesline and went on until it was all six) gets stupider every time I think about it. They’re booking themselves into a corner with the Total Divas as AJ is just so much better than they are but someone is going to have to take the title eventually.

Curtis Axel vs. Sin Cara

Cara cuts a quick promo wishing us a Merry Christmas before the match. There’s another thing he has up on Mistico. Curtis gets in a few quick shots to start but a headscissors puts him on the floor. Axel slams him onto the apron and into the post to take over. We head inside for a front facelock as JBL compares Cara to other evil masked men over the years, including Hannibal Lecter and Darth Vader.

Axel rubs the masked face into the mat but Cara makes a comeback by sending Axel to the floor for a nice flip dive. Back inside and Cara gets two off a springboard clothesline and a handspring elbow gets the same. Something resembling a Samoan drop sets up the Swanton for the pin at 5:26.

Result: D. This felt way longer than five and a half minutes. Axel just has nothing special about him and a complete lack of character doesn’t help him at all. It’s time to repackage the guy and let him do ANYTHING else to get over again. Hunico on the other hand is thriving in this role and is everything WWE was hoping Mistico would have been.

We recap the handicap tag from Smackdown with Cena and Punk beating Shield by DQ. Langston made the post match save, setting up the six man tonight.

Damien Sandow makes a little girl cry.

Bad News Barrett collected donations for something on the streets earlier….and that’s it. For now I’m assuming.

Video on Bryan vs. the Wyatts, including them injuring Bryan on Smackdown. Bray continues to disturb.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Wyatt Family

Rowan and Cody get things going with Rhodes taking over on the arm. Cody drags him into the corner for a tag off to Goldust who drives in some shoulders. Off to Bryan for a big pop but Rowan throws him around with ease. Back to Goldust who gets to face Harper with the big man sending him into the corner. Goldust grabs a cravate of all things and puts his boot on the top rope for Cody to tag. That’s certainly bizarre.

Bryan comes back in for kicks to Harper’s leg and avoids a big boot in the corner to crotch Harper. Luke gets caught in the Tree of Woe and dropkicks in the face. He bails to the corner and Bryan wants Bray but gets a commercial instead. We come back with Harper putting Cody in a front facelock and Gator Rolling him for good measure. Cody fights back with a running clothesline and tags off to his brother. An atomic drop and kick to the jaw have Harper in trouble and Goldust rains right hands down in the corner.

A middle rope hurricanrana of all things put Harper down but he comes right back with a big boot. Now we get Bray for some hard elbow drops and the upside down look out of the corner. Back to Harper to break up a tag attempt but he quickly tags out to Rowan for a neck crank. We get a claw of all things with Cole asking when was the last time you saw that. The answer would be Friday when Rowan used it on Smackdown, which was taped after this to be fair.

Anyway Goldust comes back with a DDT to Harper and tags in Bryan to speed things up. Daniel fires off the kicks to Rowan and the Swan Dive connects. Instead of covering though Daniel has to go after Bray who leads Bryan right into Rowan. A staredown on the floor takes us to our second break. Back with Bray beating on a helpless Daniel before it’s back to Rowan for some stomping. Daniel finally comes back with a tornado DDT and we get the hot tag to Cody.

A nice springboard missile dropkick puts Harper down and there’s a Disaster Kick to knock Rowan off the apron. The moonsault press gets two and everything breaks down. Bryan takes Wyatt down with a missile dropkick and the FLYING GOAT drops Bray again. Rowan saves his leader but it’s Goldust diving off the apron to take Erick out. Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Harper but Bray makes a blind tag and hits Sister Abigail (complete with a quick kiss to the forehead) for the pin on Cody at 22:28.

Rating: B-. This match flew by in a good way. I’m not wild on the champions losing again but it looks like we’re headed for Wyatts against the Brothers which should be an awesome match if given time. Bray vs. Daniel has a ton of potential and the blowoff match will be great when we get there.

Post match Bray has the Family hold Bryan while he shouts that he can take Daniel’s pain away. The lights go out and come back on to show the Wyatts are at ringside.

Mark Henry makes a child happy.

More of Bad News Barrett collecting donations.

We get a Christmas Carol singing contest. Up first are Xavier Woods and R-Truth with O Holy Night. Woods can actually sing but Truth shouts various lines to screw it up. Next we have Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal who go back and forth on a bad rendition of Jingle Bells. Cole: “Was Jillian busy?” Khali and Santino go last with Deck the Halls. Khali handles the fa-la-la-la-laing and brings home the win for his team. 3MB are sore losers and get beaten up. The good guys wish us a Merry Christmas to end the segment. Stupid filler but it could have been worse.

Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a Christmas present on a pole match. The present: an Intercontinental Title shot next week. We start with a string of failed climb attempt with Ziggler battling his trunks more than Fandango. Fandango tries a powerbomb out of the corner but gets countered into a Fameasser. Ziggler goes for the present but a hard clothesline sends him into the post and out to the floor. Both guys go for the present but Fandango gets in a kick to the head to hang Ziggler upside down. Dolph fights back to crotch the dancer but gets rammed into the post again, knocking him into the steps. Fandango grabs the present for the win at 4:45.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but that might have been the right idea. The best thing out of all this though: it seems we’re moving away from they’re moving away from the beat the champ to get a title shot style of booking. I have no idea what’s so bad about having someone beat a string of opponents and getting a title shot as a result. Also Ziggler building himself up in the midcard is as good as he can hope for at the moment.

Here are the Prime Time Players with Darren saying we’re in Houston instead of Austin. The fans are all over Darren as Titus says the three things the Players want for Christmas: a win tonight, a title shot, and everyone to join them in the Millions of Dollars dance.

Prime Time Players vs. Usos

Titus shoulder blocks Jey down to start and leapfrogs over him in a nice athletic display. He picks Jey up for a fallaway slam but drops him to the side in a different style move. Off to Darren who gets suplexed down onto Jey for two but walks into an armdrag. Jimmy comes in as the fans chant THIS IS AUSTIN.

We hit the armbar on Young before Jey comes back in with an ax handle to the arm. The arm hold stays on until the fans are nearly silent. Young comes back with a northern lights suplex and a clothesline but Jimmy comes in off a blind tag. A Samoan drop puts Young down and Titus is sent to the floor, allowing Jey (who dons a Rudolph nose) to hit the Superfly Splash on Darren for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull for most of the match as those arm holds just brought the match to a screeching halt. The face vs. face idea was interesting but the execution didn’t work at all for the most part. I don’t know if they were tired or what but the match didn’t do it for me.

Everyone dances post match.

We get a tale of the tape between good and bad Santa. It’s completely gimmicked complete with sleigh model, gifts they plan to give (Xbox vs. onions) and favorite hobbies (filling stockings vs. throwing snowballs at carolers). This is going to be GREAT.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Sandow of course brings coal to the ring, but more importantly he comes out to Xanta Claus’ theme song. Look him up. Henry opens a present to reveal a toilet and shoves Sandow’s face in the bowl. JBL: “This is like George Bailey vs. Mr. Potter.” Damien gets a present of his own to reveal a fire extinguisher…..which doesn’t work. Henry shoves him down and pulls out the pin (safety first you see) and hoses Damien down. They head up the ramp and Sandow finds a candy kendo stick. He beats Henry down and shoves over a Christmas tree, drawing the most heat of his entire career.

Henry breaks the stick and shoves Sandow down the aisle. Damien grabs a star off the top of a tree which is too much for JBL to take. Henry knocks Sandow into the tree and they head back inside where Sandow still can’t get the extinguisher to work. Mark sprays him down again and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: A+. A 400lb muscle man just beat a Latin speaking know it all to save Christmas. If you don’t get why this is an A+, you don’t understand entertainment.

Henry shoves Christmas cupcakes in Sandow’s face post match.

Punk is very happy to have Langston and Cena as his partners. Cena wants Langston to knock Reigns’ teeth in and to give Rollins an Attitude Adjustment. Also they need to Ambrose a pillow because he’s going to sleep.

Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

Before the match Colter says more immigrants need to be like Santa: leave the same day they arrive. Also it’s Merry Christmas, not Feliz Navidad. Torito is in white for some reason tonight. Cesaro pounds on I believe Diego to get things going but Diego flips over Antonio’s back and hurricanranas him down. A flying headscissors puts Cesaro down but a middle rope hurricanrana is caught in the Cesaro Swing. This might be the longest one ever, going over thirty seconds.

Diego rolls to the floor and we get a switch, allowing Fernando to get a small package for two. The third blind tag of the night brings Diego back in for a top rope cannonball and a near fall. Diego goes up top as Cesaro sends Fernando into the barricade. Torito gores Cesaro and Diego pins Swagger with a high cross body at 3:25.

Rating: D-. Dang it why do these things have to be long enough to rate? I’d like to reiterate that Los Matadores and Torito simply are not funny. I know they’re not aimed at my age bracket, but I do not find them funny in the slightest. The match was there for the Swing and Gore spots and that’s not enough to carry something like this.

We recap the handicap match from Smackdown again.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ryback

Ryback shoves Kofi down to start but gets caught by a forearm to the face. A dropkick sends Ryback to the corner and out to the floor, allowing Kofi to hit a HUGE flip dive. Ryback barely caught him but Kingston appears to be ok. Back in and Kofi hits a hard clothesline to send him back to the floor and take over.

Ryback chops him against the ropes and puts on a bearhug. Kofi’s cross body is countered into a suplex in a nice move but Ryback’s middle rope splash lands on boots. Kofi comes back with a middle rope dropkick and the Boom Drop, followed by a nice springboard cross body for two. Ryback shrugs it off and drops Kofi face first onto the buckle. There’s the Meat Hook and Kofi is Shell Shocked for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. Not a bad power vs. speed match here but again it doesn’t have time to go anywhere. Ryback getting a clean win is a good sign for him and as always, Kofi loses nothing by getting pinned. There’s still money in Ryback if he’s used properly, but WWE seems incapable of pulling that off.

Bad News Barrett’s bad news: he’s keeping the money.

Shield says Punk needs help because he’s in pain. Rollins talks about how many times Cena and Punk have tried this before and they know the result. Reigns says Langston is in the deep end of the pool now. Believe in the Shield.

John Cena/Big E. Langston/CM Punk vs. Shield

Cena and Rollins get things started with Seth’s speed not being able to do anything of note on the power guy. Cena shoulder blocks Rollins down and it’s off to Reigns for the big showdown. Right hands have Reigns staggered but he hits a Samoan drop to gain control as we take our last break. Back with Rollins scoring with a knee for two on Cena before bringing Ambrose back in.

Dean hooks a sleeper to get the crowd into things a bit. Cena cuts out the middle man by walking over to the corner and tagging Punk while still in the hold. Smart man that Cena. Punk comes in to clean house with the swining neckbreaker and knee in the corner to Ambrose. A Reigns distraction breaks up the Macho Elbow however and Ambrose suplexes Punk on the floor.

Back in and we get Shield cutting the ring off because old school tag team wrestling isn’t dead. Reigns drops Punk with a knee to the ribs and smirks over to the good guys in the corner. I love little stuff like that. We get a bearhug on Punk followed by a chinlock from Reigns but he comes back with a belly to back suplex. Dean comes in without a tag to knock Cena to the floor and Reigns hits him with something the camera missed.

Punk finally breaks free and makes the hot tag so Langston can clean house. He doesn’t get to fight Reigns though as everything breaks down and Reigns spears Cena down. The Big Ending looks to finish Ambrose but his partners make the save, drawing a weak DQ at 16:00.

Rating: C. This was just there to send the fans home happy and it worked well enough. Langston vs. Reigns has the potential to be something very special but more importantly they’ve both been protected. It’s so rare anymore to see guys actually get built up with few blemishes and the payoff will be sweet.

Ambrose and Rollins get an AA and GTS respectively, followed by all three good guys’ musics playing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very laid back and entertaining show but it overstayed its welcome a bit. The lesson to be learned here is that it’s nice to have some time between PPVs where you can just have a throwaway show like this which doesn’t mean much of anything long term. Having everything be serious all the time gets old fast so it was nice to mix things up a bit here. We got some decent matches and a fun Christmas match and that’s all you can ask for on a show like this.

Results

Total Divas b. Vickie Guerrero/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to Aksana

Sin Cara b. Curtis Axel – Swanton Bomb

Wyatt Family b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail to Rhodes

Fandango b. Dolph Ziggler – Fandango pulled down the present

Good Santa b. Bad Santa – World’s Strongest Slam

Ryback b. Kofi Kingston – SHell Shock

CM Punk/John Cena/Big E. Langston b. Shield via DQ when Shield triple teamed Langston

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Also my Christmas sale on ebooks is ending soon so take advantage of it while you can:

This was going to be my second column for the newsletter but that’s been put on hold for now.  I might try to do more of these if they go over well.

TLC has come and gone and of course the biggest story is title unification. Instead of the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship, we now have the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Barring a major surprise, the title will be represented by the WWE Championship going forward as there’s almost no way a belt will debut and be retired in less than one year.

The World Heavyweight Championship will be leaving us soon and that makes me a sad KB. Therefore, I present to you my Ode to the Big Gold Belt.

First off, the title itself is just good looking. It’s really as simple as that. Look at the World Heavyweight Championship and tell me it doesn’t look awesome. The design was introduced for Ric Flair back in 1986 because promoter Jim Crockett thought a wrestler larger than life like Flair needed a larger than life title. The belt makes anyone look like a champion and is so classy and elegant that it makes anything else pale in comparison.

Another thing the title did was give some people a chance. Over the last eleven years the World Heavyweight Championship has allowed some wrestlers to become a world champion when they wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Names like Booker T, Jack Swagger, Kane, Dolph Ziggler, Mark Henry and Christian weren’t going to win the top title in the company but the World Heavyweight Championship allowed them to be called a world champion for the rest of their lives.

Next up are four simple worlds: Money in the Bank. While the concept has been run into the ground over the years, there are a few moments where the World Heavyweight Championship cash-in blew the roof off the arena. The biggest moment of all these: Dolph Ziggler the night after Wrestlemania 29. Think back to that moment and remember how insane the arena went when his music hit. The place came unglued and Ziggler won the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time (yes it was his second reign but the first time the belt was awarded, not won).

On top of the moments the title has given us, it has also given us some incredible matches. Over the years there have been classics for the World Heavyweight Championship such as Randy Orton vs. Christian, Undertaker vs. Edge, Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton and Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan. At the top of the list though is the main event of Wrestlemania 20, with Chris Benoit defeating Shawn Michaels and HHH in an absolute masterpiece for the title. Benoit winning the title by making HHH tap out in the middle of the ring in Madison Square Garden is as perfect of a way to win the title as you can possibly find.

Last but not least, the title served as a nice historical reference. While the history of the title isn’t what the WWE would have you believe (that’s a long story for another time but in short, the title being called the same as the NWA Title is nonsense. At best the title can be traced back to 1991 and that’s stretching further than humanly possible), the design of the title is something that brings back memories of an era long since passed. With wrestling changing as much as it has in the last few years, it’s nice to be able to remember a simpler time.

Overall the World Heavyweight Championship represents an era of WWE. Over the last decade plus it has given us everything from nostalgia to great matches to pops that blew the roof off. I’m sad to see it go as it meant a lot over the years, even when it was little more than a midcard title. Here’s to you Big Gold Belt. May you shine on forever.

For once we have a close one.There were some big stories this year and picking the biggest is actually difficult.  As usual we’ll go with some nominees first.

Bruno Sammartino comes back to WWE.  This is minor by comparison but to see Bruno on Raw and at Wrestlemania was long overdue.

Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff leave TNA.  This is less of a news story and more of an answer to several prayers.  I won’t say these two were universally bad for the company but the bad outweighed the good.  The focuses on the Hogan drama and Garrett Bischoff from a few years ago dragged the good stuff down and it just never ended.  Hogan would have been great as a GM character who showed up once every few weeks and made a match and OCCASIONALLY got physical.  Having everything centered around Hogan got old fast and the fact that we never got a payoff to Hogan vs. Bully Ray really hurt things.

TNA running out of money.  It isn’t as high on the list because of one simple things: there isn’t much of a surprise here.  TNA has cut PPVs down to like three a year, moved onto the road and hasn’t cut any major salaries.  I’m no economist, but it’s clear that a model like that isn’t going to last long at all.  Things seems to have stabilized in recent months with Hogan and Bischoff leaving and moving back to Orlando.  Yeah it’s a step back, but it’s either step back or fall off a cliff.

Death of Paul Bearer.  Not so much of a story as it is a big surprise.  Bearer seemed to be in far better health and was certainly more normal sized than when he weighed well over 500lbs.  From what I can find people saw him looking bad on March 2 and he was gone on March 5.  That’s a very quick turnaround and was a shock to wrestling fans everywhere.

This brings us to the winner: Darren Young coming out.  No it hasn’t meant much since, but think about this for a minute.  The NBA has one active player who is out (yet not on a roster), MLB, the NFL and NHL have zero.  Darren Young is in a physical contact sport in very little clothing yet came out anyway.  Luckily there hasn’t been a lot of backlash that we know of and might be helpful for others in the future.  It hasn’t meant much since, but this was big at the time.

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Let’s get this over with.

It’s Shield.  It just is.  Moving on to the other nominees.

FIrst team I want to talk about is Bad Influence.  These guys are what happens when you let entertaining guys be entertaining instead of trying to make wrestlers into comedians.  Every week these guys go out there and make me laugh which is something WWE very rarely does anymore.  Bad Influence is a good example of playing to wrestlers’ strengths and that’s the best thing that can be done a lot of the time.

Then we have the Rhodes Brothers.  If there’s been a better renaissance than the one Goldust is currently on, it’s been more years than I can remember.  These guys are going out there and stealing the show every night and I’m still not tired of them.  I’d also like to point out how important a story can be.  The Brothers got over with the audience not because of their in ring work (which has been very good) but because the fans can relate to their problems.  Cody just got married and lost his job and Goldust is out of work.  They’re given a chance to fight back and that’s exactly what they did.  A story like that connects with so many fans and that’s why it worked so well.  Do more of that, though it helps to have one of the best tag teams going today involved.

Finally, we have the Usos.  They’re a pretty distant fourth, but they deserve some recognition for how consistently good they are.  A lot of the time you just need a pair of interesting guys who can fly around the ring and pop a crowd.  Right now no one is as good at that as the Usos and I’m a big fan.

But yeah, if you didn’t know this was going to be Shield you haven’t paid enough attention.

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I changed my mind on this at the last minute.My first pick was Eva Marie, who serves no purpose other than looking good in small outfits.  To be fair though, she’s not half bad at that so she at least has something going for her.  Instead, my pick is from TNA.  Well he was at least.

I’m going with Chavo Guerrero.  I’ve watched wrestling for a long time and I can’t remember anyone that made me lose interest faster than Chavo.  His matches are usually good but I just do not care about anything he does or says.  His character is simply “I’m Eddie’s nephew!” which is even less than people like Miz or Alex Riley, the black holes of characters.  Most of the time I can bring myself up to indifference, but Chavo brings me down to a level that no one else is capable of.  Chavo wins this but thankfully he’s gone for now.

NXT
Date: December 20, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

We’re at the next to last show of the year on this season and it’s becoming pretty clear this is going to go on to the beginning of the WWE Network. Therefore, there’s almost no point to paying attention to this show. However, if I was going with that philosophy I would have been out of here months ago. Let’s get to it.

This 4pm thing is ridiculous. It’s 6:40 and I’ve been checking on things every 20 minutes or so and it’s just now up.

Here’s Bateman to open things up. During Bateman’s entrance we recap the Percy Watson show from last week. He says he’s here to win and win back the Courtney to his Kurt and the Bonnie to his Clyde (aren’t both of those men dead?). Striker says they have to work together and be partners here. Curtis shows us a still of him kissing Maxine and then offers a handshake.

Usos vs. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis

The Siva Tao makes me want to invade a small country. Bateman starts and the brothers take turns beating on him. Once he finally gets a bit of a break though, Curtis tags himself in. It doesn’t go very well for him either though as the Samoans hammer away. Curtis gets a hard clothesline for two and the fans aren’t really interested. He goes over to tag in Bateman but Derrick walks away. It doesn’t take long for the Superfly Splash from Jimmy to get the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D. The match was pretty much nothing but that was the point. The Usos are light years better than everyone and that’s been obvious for months, so I’m getting tired of seeing them wasted in stuff like this. Curtis is about as uninteresting as anyone I’ve seen in years, but it’s just NXT so it’s not so bad.

Trent Barretta asks Yoshi to watch his back against Hawkins tonight since Reks will be out there. Yoshi says sure but after Trent leaves, Yoshi gets jumped by Hawkins/Reks and locked in a utility closet.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta

Striker goes on a rant against Hawkins and Reks for making fun of legends on their Youtube show. If he doesn’t like them, why does he keep booking them on NXT if he has matchmaking abilities? Hawkins takes over to start and hits a slam for two. Hawkins keeps beating on him and heads to the floor to yell at Striker who yells right back. Trent fights back and the fans are SILENT. A running knee gets two for Trent. He goes up but has to kick Reks down, allowing Hawkins to finish Trent with a move that starts as a reverse neckbreaker, but he spins forward to slam Trent’s face into the mat for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. I like Barretta but he couldn’t overcome the boredom of the crowd here. Nothing special at all but I guess it sets up drama between Yoshi and Trent which is the latest place they’re going here that has nothing to do with NXT but they have to fill in an hour either way. Also, who comes up with these dull finishers? All these face slam moves are getting old.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Maxine’s outfits really aren’t PG. Kaitlyn dominates to start and shows off her range of offense, going big with a legdrop. Maxine fights back and chokes away. This is the usual boring stuff from the Divas. Maxine hits her in the chest and hooks a standing guillotine choke. Kaitlyn fires off some but Maxine keeps beating her down. Cue Bateman who says he’s been looking everywhere for Maxine. The distraction lets Kaitlyn roll her up at 3:03.

Rating: D. Other than the chest strike thing, this was rather dull. Somehow this was WAY better than the Raw and Smackdown Divas who are just awful at this point. It’s amazing what happens when they’re down in FCW with trainers and get to actually practice a bit isn’t it? This was nothing special though.

Bateman begs forgiveness and sings the Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling but gets blasted by Curtis. Maxine walks out on both of them.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Good to see Kidd back on the show though. Percy starts off with his power game and he hammers Tyson into the corner. The referee tells him to get out of there and Percy actually says yes sir. Very nice to see some manners. Just because you’re in combat and trying to get a full time job, there’s no excuse for rudeness. Kidd takes over and uses his feet to take over. Off to a dragon sleeper which Percy escapes pretty easily. He fires off some dropkicks and adds a belly to belly for two. They go to the corner and Percy gets guillotined on the top rope. That and a springboard elbow drop are enough for Tyson to pin him at 4:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad and it’s nice to see Tyson back on screen. He would have been the prime candidate for an NXT Title if they’d ever just get to one. Either way, this was fine for power vs. speed and that’s all it needed to be. Watson is kind of floundering and I think a heel turn might be in the cards for him.

Same video on the Tribute to the Troops from Monday.

Bateman and Curtis almost get into a fight in Striker’s office so he makes a match between them for next week.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Darren Young is on commentary and his arm is in a sling. Titus uses the power game to start (common theme tonight) as Young says that he’s better than anyone on Raw or Smackdown. Titus throws JTG to the floor and barks. He gets crotched on the ring skirt though and JTG takes over. To the chinlock! Titus powers out of it and hammers away, hitting a powerslam for two. Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:55.

Rating: D. Not much here but it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t particularly good hence the grade, but the point of this was to have Titus look dominant before the post match shenanigans with Young happened. JTG just doesn’t work as a heel because of his size and that he’s more annoying than menacing.

Post match Darren stares Titus down as JTG trips Titus up. Darren rips off his sling as his arm is fine. The post match beatdown ensues.

Overall Rating: D+. You know, this show has potential. They got it back to being like an old school territorial show and I can live with that. If there was a title on this show and you keep in mind that the stakes are as low as you can have while still having stakes, you can enjoy this show. Not a terrible show and if they can keep this style, I could see this show becoming almost ok.

Results
Usos b. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis – Superfly Splash to Curtis
Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barretta – Neckbreaker into a face slam
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow Drop
Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

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